#anyway if someone wants to slide into the dms to talk about act 1 and 2 please do

[fuck-off-im-ace]

My friend asked me to wait for her to watch Arcane s2 Act III so now i have to stop my binge watch after That Ending and just. Not continue. I might die, actually.

[a-simp-20]

➷Love,Taken away by sickness ➷ [KENTO YAMAZAKI X READER]

[AIB cast Masterlist]

Characters: Kento Yamazaki,Y/n

Summary: you both are in love, but that love will fade.

Warning!: Reader has Lung cancer and is on her 4th stage, mentions of blood.

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.2K

Tag's: @suptherebitches , @niragis-right-hand-rabbit sit back relax, grab some popcorns and tissues ok?

Enjoy~✨

Sorry this took so long to write (TwT)/~~~

[3 more Days left..]

"I'm sick of this.." You muttered as you took your pills. You hated this, you disgusted this. You hate taking medicine every now and then, you just hate it. You want all of this to stop but it can't be stopped because you have no choice but in about how many days you're going to die. You're at the park right now, holding the bottle of pills that the doctor gave you. Even though he gave you pills, the sickness will not go away.

You took some tissues out if your purse as you coughed on it. You looked at the white item and saw blood. Ever day you would always see it, every time you eat meals and cough, blood. Every time you're talking to someone and cough, blood. Only blood is what you saw until you met Him.

Kento yamazaki, a Japanese celebrity that is know by his acting skills. You both met at the exact park where you're sitting right now. He is a kind guy and you loved him and he loved you..but that love will never happen and you always say that over and over. But Kento kept visiting you and take care of you from time to time,he loved you and you know that.

You got up from the bench and walked home, seeing Kids pass by you and having fun. You missed the old days that you have before You had lung cancer. The cause of the lung cancer was basically from your family tree, one of your ancestors had lung cancer and it rarely passed down to the other generations of your family, but hey what a coincidence it got passed down to you!. You first found out that you had lung cancer last week and not when you were a kid, strange right?.

Lets keep that aside for now. You got inside your favourite Café and sat down by the window. You sighed as you looked outside seeing how beautiful the world actually is "I'll miss this place.." You muttered to yourself as you put your palm on your right cheek.

Your phone buzzed on the table as the waitress sets down your drink and walks away. You grabbed your phone and saw one notification from your Instagram dm's. You tapped on the notification and saw that Kento has DM you.

[kentooyamazaki]

Kentooyamazaki: Hey there y/n, how have you been?

You frowned because you would never have to see him anymore. The both of you barely talk after you announced to him that you had lung cancer. Other than that he has been busy with his career that he couldn't have that much time with you. Of course you understood..but what you didn't like was the face he made when you announced that you are sick.

It was a face of confusion,anger and maybe if you could say,disgust.. .

You would always think that he was disgusted by the fact that you had lung cancer,or maybe he was angry because you didn't told him sooner.

Kento wasn't the angry type of guy..he just sometimes gets out of control.

You just read his message and deleted the app.

---

[2 day's left..]

It's getting worse.

You're now laying on a hospital bed with a face of boredom. You had nothing left to do but just wait until the time comes "Y/n!?,are you okay!?..i heard you fainted at your house. I'm so glad that your neighbor was over" You heard a voice said.

You looked at the voice to see Kento holding a banquet of your favourite flowers and a box of curry on his left hand "What are you doing here?,and how did you know I fainted..my neighbor didn't told anyone about this other than my parents" You said to him as he put tthe curry and flowers on the small table that was right next to your hospital bed "I-..well,basically I followed you..home" He said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he stood there "And why didn't you respond to my DM yesterday?" He asked you with a concerned face.

You frowned "So what?,it's not like I need your help anyways.." You said cold while grabbing the box of curry and opening it "But- Y/n! You're sick! And you have barely several days to live..i'm just trying to take care of yo-" "I SAID I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" You yelled at him until you cough on the palm of your hand seeing more blood "You do need my help!, look what you done to yourseld! Now it's getting worse dammit.." He muttered the last part as he grabbed a tissue and wiped your hand as he sat right next to you with a chair.

Silence is in the air as the both of you didn't know what to do or say so you decided to break the silence "Kento..when I told you that I said I had lung cancer..your reaction...you looked disgusted when I told you it." Kento looked at you with his brown eyes now narrowed, he was angry "Heh..what do you even mean about that?, do I look disgusted right now?? RIGHT NOW?" He said as he gets even more closer to you than before

"Maybe.."

Kento sighs "Fine, if you need anything just call me..okay?" Kento says as he got up from the chair and left the room, shutting the sliding door loud enough so that you could hear.

He doesn't care about you anymore.

---

[1 day left..]

It's the last day, Kento waiting outside the surgery room. There is now way you're going to die "I should've just helped you and stayed and not be so angry at you that day" He kept saying things while waiting.

Him sitting there with tears in his eyes, the surgery rooms light was still on so he still had a chance to see you alive. His friends came with him to the hospital but had to leave Immediately cause of their jobs. They brought him some gifts and chocolate and bouquets to hopefully cheer him up, but it still didn't work.

The surgery rooms light went off. Kento looks up from the palm of his hands, his eyes red and puffy as he stood up walking to the nurse that was going to announce the news "So!?, i-is she-" Kento stutter's at his words, the nurse had a frown on his face making Kento worry even more "I'm sorry sir.." Was all that he could say as he left Kento there standing in disbelief.

He sat back down and cried not caring if people saw him crying. He couldn't believe it, he shouldn't had been so emotional that day with you.

But what can I say love is always taken away by sickness.

{A/n}: okay the ending is crappy I really hate it, I warned the both of you that I can't write angst.. I'm sorry if I hadn't have enough information of lung cancer, I research it yes but sometimes I would forgot what I research so I am really sorry..but anyways I tried my best I hope you like it @suptherebitches @niragis-right-hand-rabbit

[darthwheezely]

i walk the line - f.w. - 1

1950s american carnival! au

Summary: The Weasley Bros. Circus has always been a family affair...until they pick up a highly unusual girl with wicked talents...

Warnings: 1950s America and all the shit that comes with it, NSFW/SMUT MINORS NO INTERACTING :) , alcohol usage, cussing, tw violence (fights), carny folk, contortionist, language and desc of intense circus acts, clowns, sad boy George, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF BULLYING IN THIS CHAPTER, angst

taglist or people that may like this! DM to be added or removed @cappsikle @lumosandnoxwriting @whizboingies @virgohufflepuff @officialwizardwheezes @amourtentiaa @softlyqoos @breadqueen95 @thehufflepuffwife @george-fabian-weasley @lupinsclassroom @haileymorelikestupid @sarcasticallywitty15 @band--psycho @gcdric @vogueweasley @harrysweasleys @slytherinsunrise @thisismynerdyself @loony-loopy-lupinn @writingsomewrongs @pineapplesandpinas @valwritesx @amxrtentias @theweasleyslut @oh-for-merlins-sake @alyssamalfoy @bisou-doux

“...welcome to our home!”

George listened as the crowd erupted before his father. He had always admired Arthur “Art” Weasley, for many a reason. The way he could walk in and command a room, the way he could silence an entire audience with a simple flick of his wrist of wave of his hand, the way his voice alone could stop his cries in the night, the way he would come up behind him when taking care of the animals was too much and say, “Georgie, go to sleep, son.” but most of all? The way his father noticed him.

Baltimore, Maryland. 1933.

George Weasley was on the run. Again. Charlie Dooley, a boy from his class, and his gang of (as Fred said) “chickenshit babies” had made it a habit of following George home from school and doing one of the following: a) chasing him on bikes, b) cornering him in the bathroom, or c) sprinting after him on foot.

Today, it had been on foot.

“C’mon monkey boy!” Charlie howled, the other boys closing in on him. George sprinted a quick right realizing he dropped his lunch box and thinking a violent but rapid mom’s gonna be so mad, oh no oh no-

George barreled down the street, his house in sight, tears stealing on his cheeks from the sheer speed and necessity to get home. His feet seemed to be operating without him knowing, his body throwing itself backwards and forwards with the blinding need to be home, to hug his dad and say he wasn’t going to school anymore, to ask his mom to stop packing bananas in his lunchbox even though it was his favorite snack because mom don’t you know they call me monkey boy-

“Thought you could really get away from us this time huh, Georgie boy?” Charlie had pinned him to the concrete, George’s heart screaming in his ears. He could barely register that his lip was bleeding, and that maybe if he focused on the sky, his eleven year old shrimp of a body wouldn’t feel-

Pow.

Isn’t that what superheroes say? Pow? Let’s think about superheroes, Georgie, Charlie doesn’t last long with punches anyway just keep lookin’ at the sky, he thought wildly before-

Pow.

Pow.

He vaguely felt his eyes roll back into his head, but he made a very clear rule to himself that he wouldn’t cry, Fred wouldn’t want him to cry, not that Fred was mean, Fred just hates seeing him cry-

Pow.

P-

And suddenly there was something off his body. He could hear punching noises but they were not aimed at George, but rather someone else. When he was able to open his eyes he saw his brother, Fred, landing blow after blow to Charlie Dooley, Charlie mewling under Fred.

“Touch my brother again, and I promise I won’t just break your nose next time, yeah?”

-

Art Weasley sat with his son George in the red chair in his caravan. It was George’s favorite chair, as he learned the word “red” from that chair and then equated “red” to his own hair.

Arthur had known his son would have it harder. It wasn’t his fault the boy was different, he loved him just the same for it if not slightly more so for the way he was a bit quieter, the way he listened and thought and thought and then wanted to make choices. The way he asked his mom if he could pack Fred’s lunches for school because only George knew Fred hated crunchy peanut butter sandwiches with white bread.

But more so for the way George wasn’t afraid to show love. To cry. To feel things Art sometimes couldn’t articulate.

George was curled into his father, tears staining his button up shirt and his body shuddering with every anxiety laden breath. Art put a hand on his son’s back and put his lips to his hair.

“George, you have to breathe for me or you’re gonna get sick.” He rubbed his son’s back soothingly.

“I’m sorry, dad, I promised I did what you said and tried to protect myself and when I couldn’t do anything else I just didn’t look at h-him I p-promise, dad p-please don’t be mad at me...” he took another shudder and released a cry into his father’s shoulder. Art was not a helpless man, but there was something that destroyed and cracked his very soul at the sight of his most vulnerable child, the most angelic of his seven children. The one that everyone protected. And at times like these, sometimes all a father can do is hold his child. So that’s what he did.

“I know, son...I know...”

-

“George?”

George jumped out of his thoughts, his palms sweaty from the inevitable stage fright that always accompanied him before a show. It was no matter how many times he grazed the trapeze with his sister Gin and his brother Ron, the nerves were always the same.

At least this time, no pows would be administered from anyone besides himself.

He heard his name again, the daze breaking as he looked at his oldest brother Bill.

“George. You’ll be fine. You always are, baby brother.” He said softly, placing his hands back on, Cora (short for Corazon) the lion. George gulped and nodded, and Fred patted his back, giving a hearty wink. George smiled a small smile, clapping Fred’s forearm.

“Ready, Fred?”

Fred grinned.

“Ready, George.”

-

George belonged to the trapeze. The way his body seemed to elongate with grace and dexterity when he grabbed his sister, the way he gave flirty winks at the girls in the crowd, the way he never dropped a muscle unplaced-

The way their father always noticed.

Fred saw these things in his younger brother and couldn’t help the fit of jealousy in his stomach. Don’t get your tightrope in a twist, he was possibly the most proud of his brother, and his hand to God if he didn’t say he hooted his name the loudest watching him do his thing.

But he never felt like he could ever match that.

He knew his hands were meant for something greater, same as his mind. Juggling came almost as easy to the older twin as breathing, smoking cigarettes, witty banter, and sex (in no particular order). But George had something Fred didn’t have.

Approval.

Fred was, for all intents and purposes, a good person. A great person. But his habits could’ve said so much otherwise.

Fred had a nasty habit of letting his temper get the best of him. Ever since he could talk, he had taken on the role of protector to not only George, but to Ginny and Ron as well. Frequently, his hands always seemed to have more things to say than he could which says a massive fucking lot. At the ripe age of 20, he’d gotten into more bar fights and straight up blacked out sober more than his own father, and all of his other siblings. He’d been in and out of detention when he did go to school, and in and out of-

Well, you get it.

The one thing that always seemed to follow him? His charm.

Fred Weasley was a charismatic motherfucker.

And he knew it.

It was simple. All he had to do in between acts was make a couple jokes, a few magic tricks, and by the end of his little charade? He’d have at least 3 girls lined up for that night. And if he was in a particularly bad mood?

Well, it could get a little more than that.

On nights like this, he was fine with just two.

I mean...Fred knew what he was doing.

And on a night like this - he was damn proud of it.

Until he saw you...

Last night.

Fred’s dessert was named Candy. He honestly couldn’t remember what her actual name was, but he did remember she said:

“Call me Candy. I taste like it, too.”

And honestly? That was really all he needed.

It didn’t take him long to press her small body against his caravan. She wound her arms around his neck and fisted into his flame colored hair and yanked, his hips rolling as he moaned into her lipstick stained mouth.

Fred always did have a thing for gals in red.

Fred realized his pants had begun to be a tad too tight, as Candy’s tongue licked into his mouth. his hands found their way under her dress, fingers kneading at her thighs and she squeaked. He lifted her legs at her noise and he wrapped them around his body, his bulge pressing into where she needed him the most.

“Fred, please” she whined, his mouth attaching to the valley of her breasts, the exposed skin of her dress warm and inviting.

“Please what, doll?” He teased roughly, his free hand sliding to cup her ass and squeezing. She gasped at his rough touch and he bit her collarbone.

“Fred, please, fuck me” she said airily. He smirked before pressing a quick kiss to her mouth.

“Absolutely, baby, see how easy that was?” He licked her bottom lip and bit, before pressing his forehead to hers, the sheer strength of his body pressing her against the van enough to use his hands to pull her panties down enough for her to kick them away. She reached down to unzip his pants when he motioned for her to do so, his hard cock free of his boxers.

“You ready, pretty girl?” He growled against her earlobe. Candy whispered a breathy “please” and Fred slid into her cunt, her wetness echoing sinful noises at the contact. They groaned at connection, and Fred continued to go deeper into her until he bottomed out. He looked at her for confirmation to keep going and she nodded. He pulled out and slammed back into her, beginning to set a rough pace against the van.

“Freddie, fuckfuckfuck you feel s-so good” she sputtered, Candy’s back hitting and arching against the van, causing it to move slightly against her. Fred nipped and sucked at her neck, determined to always leave a map of where he left his treasure behind...

“Look at you, unraveling like a ball of twine. Never had cock this good, doll?” He reached a particularly good angle in her causing her to claw deeper at his back, biting in a scream.

“Thereeee it is, baby. You like that don’t you, c’mon be a good little cock slut and tell me what you want, want everyone in this whole fucking camp to know I’m fucking you so good.” His hand went to her clit, circling it harshly. He wanted her to finish, his dick was twitching all to hard in her and he needed her to release before it was his turn. Her moans and gasps and mini clawings were getting sloppier, losing their tempo.

“Fred-Fred-“

“Yeah, baby, I’ve got you” he groaned against her mouth at her clenching pussy. She gave a final sputter and screamed into his shoulder, a hot electric wave coursing over his cock, with one, two, three harder pumps, he released into her as well. He leaned his forehead against hers and kissed it lightly. But when he looked back at her face, she was already losing interest. Just like the others. But it didn’t bother him...at least not anymore, right?

Just another night.

-

Memories of Candy and Janie and Jessica and Portia and all the other girls seemed to wash away at the sight of you waiting after the show. Your eyes were full of life but somehow had something tired behind them. The way your hair wasn’t perfectly coiffed but still looked like you had tried to, the way your dress was crinkled at the bottom like you didn’t give a shit if it was crumpled in the bottom of your dresser.

And then you looked at him.

Fred Weasley could have sworn time stopped at the way you walked across the hay to him, your body positioned in a way that would’ve given him every reason to hold you. he realized his face began to flush at the sight of you getting closer.

That, he thought, was an alien feeling.

“Hi.” You said warmly to him.

“You’re Fred, right? I loved your act.”

He blinked twice and then returned your smile.

“Yeah. Thank you so much, I...I really try, I am so sorry but what is your name?” His eyes scanned your face. You stuck your tongue in your cheek and returned the search on his face.

“Y/N. Y/L/N. I’m looking for a job.”

[threephasebird]

Hello friend, it's Nicole from TAD discord, so sorry for awkwardly & randomly sliding into your dms. I've noticed that you've been reblogging a lot of The Untamed recently and I have just finished The Untamed & literally cannot think about anything else. I'm obsessed. Anyway, I've also noticed from your blog that your favorite seems to be JGY and I find that *fascinating*. He's very much not my fav, but he's such a complex character that I would love to hear your thoughts & feelings & analysis?

And to be completely clear, I will never try to debate with you or say your opinions are wrong or immoral or anything. I'm not an anti, I've stanned plenty of villains in my time. I'm just genuinely curious. I think the fact that you have such different feelings about this character is part of the beauty of stories and a testament to how complex and smart this particular story is.

Hello friend! First of all, thank you for your ask -- I love talking about my fictional faves, so there’s no need to apologize at all! There are definitely people out there who have already posted much more cohesive and succinct character analysis for JGY, but I’ve sat down for a bit to find an answer to the question of why I, personally, like him so much. I ended up finding six possible ways to answer this question, which I’ll list below and then go into (a lot) more detail under the cut. Hope you enjoy!

1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable

2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts

3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way

4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch

5) I like him because LXC likes him

6) JGY is very small and has dimples

So, onward! (2.7k)

1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable

One possible way of looking at JGY is that throughout the entire story, his end goal is to eliminate all of the Jin family and come out on top as sect leader, chief cultivator and most powerful person in the cultivation world. However, I personally find it more intriguing to think that his specific plans shifted throughout the story and that he didn’t follow a long con the way NHS did, but that the common ground in everything he does is that he’s motivated by wanting security. Then, everything that he does afterwards is a step-by-step escalation when no matter what he does and how far he comes, his goal is always dangled right in front of him, but ultimately impossible to reach.

When he joins the Nie clan, on a superficial level it seems that this place could offer him the security he wants and needs, especially with NMJ protecting him -- but on the flip side of the coin, no one apart from NMJ and NHS seem to respect him, and his security entirely depends on NMJ’s goodwill. It’s an exteremely fragile position that could probably only ever last for a limited amount of time. Even if JGY never killed the guard captain and wasn’t thrown out of the Unclean Realm, how would the future have looked like for him? NMJ’s life expectancy was low to begin with, and once he had died (of natural causes, in this hypothetical case), NHS wouldn’t have been able to hold the same protective hand over JGY as his brother, and JGY would have become the disrespected advisor to the disrespected clan leader. (On a side note, I personally don’t think JGY released XY to get the yin iron -- I think it makes more sense that he wanted to use XY as bargaining chips against WC, seeing how he goes to free him immediately after WC asks for NMJ to release XY, to save the Unclean Realm and, in extension, his own ass.)

After JGY is thrown out, he’s basically out of options -- it’s go big or go home, because which other clan would take him in now? So he sets his sight on being recognized by JGS once more, and in order to succeed, he derives the plan of becoming a spy under WRH and do something so “heroical” that after the war, JGS has no other choice but to accept him into his clan. And at first, it seems like he succeeds and that he finally gets everything he wished for -- his father recognizes him as a son and gives him a position, he’s part of the Jin clan, he has power, he’s secure! But then it turns out that he was wishing on the monkey’s paw. His father doesn’t truly recognize him, and even in the Jin clan he’s disrespected (by JGS, by Madam Jin, by Jin Zixun), he doesn’t truly hold power (he just has to do whatever JGS tells him to), and he’s not secure (JGS instrumentalizes him because he’s useful to him right now, but does that mean he’ll be useful forever? So there’s a constant threat there).

I think the only reason JGS officially adopts JGY is that it allows him to claim the victory over WRH for the Jin clan and to expand his own power. Instead of JGY being recognized, JGS instrumentalizes him from the very first second and to make it worse, he makes JGY his attack dog the same way WRH did. I think the things JGY does under both WRH and JGS are absolutely horrifying, but I can’t help but also feel horrified for him. Under WRH, I think he tells himself that whatever he does is the lesser evil because it’ll end the war quicker, and that it’ll all be worth it in the end, and as a result, he loses parts of his own humanity there. And then under JGS, it’s the same fucked up shit again, except that this time, he also wants so very badly for JGS to value him, and in addition, he’s also completely out of options now. Without wanting to excuse the things he does under JGS, the only alternative at this point is for him to leave the Jin clan and the cultivation world as a whole, and I do think there’s a definite possibility that JGS would have him killed if he did because he knew too much about JGS’s plans.

Without passing judgment on his involvement in JZX and JZX’s deaths, as well as him killing NMJ and JGS for now (the latter being the one thing that I’m personally most horrified of), I don’t see JGY as a villain who enjoys being the villain the way XY does. I think he’s constantly horrified at himself and compartmentalizes to a degree where he’s actually derailing his own plans. Him throwing out XY immediately after killing JGS reads to me as him wanting to close the chapter of everything they did under JGS -- I think he must have acted out of a visceral emotion there or else he wouldn’t have left XY to die at the side of a road so carelessly (and, in effect, allowed for someone to live on with detailed knowledge of his own deeds). After rising to power (and finally, seemingly, really getting the security he’s always wanted), he doesn’t use that power to become WRH 3.0, but instead to do genuinely good things (such as building the watch towers). That’s not supposed to mean that him not being a cruel despot makes up for everything he’s done, but I find it interesting to think about from the perspective of, what kind of person could he have been if this opportunity had been given to him freely -- if his own class and social standing didn’t prevent him from that? I think he’d have become an incredibly powerful cultivator and clan leader if he’d have the same privilege as JZX.

In a way, I see JZX, WC, and JGY as narrative foils. WC shows us who JZX might have become if JGS treated him the same way as WRH treats WC. But, JGS doesn’t -- he shields his own son from this part of the Jin clan, and basically allows him to live in a completely different reality as JGY! JZX’s whole character arc is one of personality development, and becoming a hero, and falling in love -- he doesn’t have a clue about his father wanting to get his hands on XY and the Stygian tiger amulet and arguably about at least part of the war crimes he commits against the Wen clan. It’s not part of his life. In a way, JGY is the sacrifice being made to allow him to live his life unaware because in him, JGS found someone else to do his dirty work.

2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts

Sometimes, when you want to be a villain apologist, all you need to do is point at one or a few bits of the story and say, “well if they hadn’t done that...”. (See, for example, Anakin Skywalker -- you wanna write a RotS canon divergence fixit? Just have Obi-Wan come back approximately one hour earlier and you have it, because before Anakin kills the Jedi even the Younglings he’s basically completely redeemable.) With JGY, you don’t get to have that. There’s no single turning point where you could say, “if he had picked the other option, he could have had a happy ending”. And part of the reason for that, which makes him a tragic character in my eyes, is that he crucially lacks options at many turning points.

In order to write a canon divergence AU for JGY where he comes out unscathed and redeemable, you’d have to go pretty far back in the story, and even then, you’d have to work hard to find a solution to his story that doesn’t a) rely on someone saving him (such as: LXC brings him to Cloud Recesses, or: JGS has a change of heart, frees his mother, and sends them a comfortable monthly pension), b) having him be dependent on someone else’s goodwill (such as: staying in the Unclean Realm in a delicate position).

If we don’t want to go back right to the very beginning or change fundamental parts of the story, well... As I’ve mused about above, if we let him stay in the Unclean Realm, he’d have never reached his goal of security either. If he never became a spy during the Sunshot Campaign, he wouldn’t have been accepted into the Jin clan and would have been out of options. If he never committed the atrocities for JGS, JGS would probably have kicked him out or killed him. (I do think there’s a lot of truth in what JGY tells NMJ in the empathy flashback, on that instance.) If he didn’t kill NMJ, there is a distinct possibility that NMJ would have killed him -- we see him try three times on screen, after all. (I’m leaving out the parts about him being directly responsible for JZX’s and JZX’s death in the show, as well as for controlling the corpses at Nighless City and JYL’s death, because it’s not in the book and I think it takes away from WWX’s character. As for QS’s and their son’s deaths...I personally do not see strong motivation for him to kill them, but in the end, we just don’t know which is, on a side note, a thing I really like about The Untamed/MDZS! Sometimes we just don’t know because the only people who know for sure can’t tell us anymore.) One option could be for him to confide to JZX, bring him over to his own side, and non-violently overthrow JGS, which would be a good and satisfying ending both to his and JZX’s character arcs -- but I also think there’s a high possibility JZX would hold JGY responsible for what he and JGS did, and never trust him with power again.

(Again, one thing I really do not wish to excuse away is how he killed JGS, and I just. Desperately wished he didn’t.)

I’ve been going over and over the possibilites for fix-its and canon divergence AUs, but in the end, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that the only real choice JGY has throughout the story is whether to remove himself from the narrative or stay in it. He could make the choice to give up his mother’s dream, reject his father, and leave cultivation world (and, on a meta level, the story!) to become a “nobody”. (Small side note, though -- living on which skills?) If he doesn’t -- well, as soon as he enters the game, the cards are stacked against him.

To pick up on the meta level comment, I do find it fascinating that in a sense, JGY not only has to struggle for respect and recognition within the story, but that what he does also serves to keep his character part of the story. He could choose to give up and leave (and thus come out of the story redeemable), but then he wouldn’t be part of the story anymore.

3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way

Continuing with the last point, JGY interacts with the story in two unique ways that distinguish him basically from all the other characters. He’s not actually supposed to be part of the story, but that he basically claws his way in. But that also means that his class and social status cannot be removed from any of the conflicts he encounters in universe -- they’re at the heart of all of them. In the empathy flashback, he says to NMJ, “You always scold me for indecent scheming. You always say that you are just and straight [...] A decent man shouldn’t resort to devious stratagems. [...] You’re of noble birth and have profound cultivation. What about me? How can I be the same? First, I don’t have the foundation of cultivation. No one has ever taught me that since I was a child! Second, I don’t have any background. Do you think that my position is very solid in the Jin clan of Lanling?” What I find so intriguing about this scene is that he’s right when he says he’s different from the others both in text and on a meta level because most of the other characters are never faced with the same decisions and have a natural place within the story (apart, to some degree, WWX and XY, where also interesting parallels can be drawn). And the other characters are, in a way, self-righteous to judge him when almost none of them come out of the story without blood on their hands -- WWX’s revenge, JC torturing demonic cultivators after WWX’s death, and so on...The entire cultivation world (even NMJ! even LXC!) were complicit in the war crimes against the Wen. But when the cultivation world turns against JGY, they are the most appalled by the things I as a viewer would be the most lenient towards (murdering JGS), and don’t care at all about the thing that horrifies me the most (murdering the sex workers).

There’s an interesting post by @pumpkinpaix​ analysing how class dynamics work in the story, which I highly recommend! I don’t want to repeat what has been said there already in much better ways than I can, but among other things, it makes some really interesting points about how much JGY’s class is tied with his motivations.

4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch

Aside from any analysis, part of the reason why I like him so much is that when he’s acting as a villain, he’s just so much fun to watch. When WWX breaks into his vault in paperman form and JGY has approximately 5 minutes to get rid of the head, the torture bench (?) and anything suspicious, contact and inform Su She, run to a different building and come back, and nonetheless he manages to convince everyone but WWX and LWJ that he’s the victim in this situation, it’s just. Peak entertainment? For a short time, he’s on top of the game, and then he’s backed into a corner and becomes sloppy, and finally loses it all due to sentimentality (if he didn’t want to take his mother’s body with him and say goodbye to LXC, I’m sure he could have fled the country). I think Zhu Zanjin did an amazing job as an actor to portray how JGY is constantly assessing everything, how 23638 emotions flicker over his face in half a second, how his whole body language shows the constant anxiety and pressure and stress and fear he’s under, and how we actually get to see in his microexpressions when JGY chooses a path and commits to the acting and emotional manipulation to follow it through.

5) I like him because LXC likes him 

Here’s a secret: Actually, LXC is my favourite character. And LXC loves JGY a lot. So I’m kind of contractually obliged to at least love JGY a little bit as well?

On a more serious note, I’m very intrigued in their relationship because I do think what they had was genuine. I view it as two people being very open and honest and true with each other, while placing a lot of things outside the brackets and crossing them out. LXC even says that he was aware of some things JGY did (which ones? how? I need to know) but that he justified them to himself. I think they both realised that they could have had something very special, but under the given circumstances, LXC wouldn’t have been able to help JGY (see: point 2) even if he knew everything. Still, they were obviously very close and trusted each other as much as they could. I think in the end, when LXC seemed to have decided to stay and die with him, JGY pushed him away because he was the only genuinely good part of his life, and he felt like he couldn’t rightfully deprive the world of LXC. It’s all very tragic, and I’m very intrigued to explore what they could have been in a slightly softer world.

6) JGY is very small and has dimples

I can only speak for myself, but when I was watching, I was so prone at any point to believe in him no matter what was revealed. Look at him! Could this man do something wrong?

[alias-b]

OKAY. So, I wasn’t gonna dignify this with an answer, but I’m feeling super good and starting my vacation and have few things to lose tbh. I blocked you, but you’ll find a way back if you feel this is really worth it.

You certainly found it worth it enough to slap that anon button to insult me and dress it up as idk ?? being helpful & even kind in your mind?? If you followed my fics, you know the nasty msgs I get monthly so why would I take a personal jab as from a good place? Why would anyone mean to act “holier than thou” ???? Telling me you’re not coming from a bad place....yet you still went anon bc you knew how this read. Hm. Anyways....to answer, I’ll just unpack this neatly:::

1) ???? When did I say ANY of that even in a talk down/negative context??? lmao I even searched my asks trying to find myself being this rude. Slide into my DMs and let me know bc from my POV, you’re blatantly misreading something or making it up?? I’m confused and of course, I’d never want to come across any kind of way like that! If I ever mention young ppl, I mean actual teenagers in fandom spaces that adults get nasty interacting with. Ppl in their 20s/30s+ really need to be mindful about interacting with ppl under 18 and attacking them or being creepy and inappropriate with them/their content. Don’t twist my words.

Ppl who write thin OCs still get hate on their fics lmao, I did. But they don’t get constant hate generally based on their size or race. ((Also like...we’re all aware of fatphobia & racism in fandom and what types of OCs/characters are targets for that...esp if they’re being paired with favs... Writers of color are absolutely also allowed their frustrations with racism in fandom spaces btw too. Do not talk over them. Just listen and be aware. Do your best.))

2) I absolutely DO NOT think I’m better or “more moral/braver” than any other writer on here wtf, I consider myself even “still young” and learning... I’m in my 20s, I’m not a fandom gma trying to police anyone??? As long as you’re living your best life, surrounded by the best content YOU want, go tf off, sis!!! We’re all in a pandemic here trying to get by.

Writing is always a growing process and we’re doing it for free, it’s not perfect and always is a skill that gets better as we do it. I try not to compare myself to others, my fics are mine and that’s IT. I’m allowed to be proud of what I’ve created and I encourage all writers to do the same. A lot of writers are happy and patting themselves on the back for what they created but I’m NOT taking digs or doing it cause I think I’m some brave crusader on a mission. I’m too tired for that bull. I don’t get/want cool points for anything. Have you sent these concerns to any one else for doing the same??? Or are you irked I’m trying to uplift MY fat character?? That I get constant hate for??? More reflection for you.

3) I’ve been incredibly supportive of OCs of all shapes and sizes. I’ve gotten asks shading thin/white “model” ocs and only ever preached patience and support to all oc writers bc it’s never right to bring someone down to lift someone else up. It’s never right to shame a writer not hurting anyone. All OCs are good OCs. That’s the point I always make!! Writing is hard. Finding face claims is hard. Making whole ass humans for a fictional world is hard. So, I’m constantly posting/replying to be open and understanding with writers, whatever they do. It’s their fic. Their characters. Their choices. All OCs are valid.

No one is obligated to make a specific type of OC, just make the OCs you want to see. I don’t think it’s right to hate or shade ANY writer/OC and I make it clear in asks that try to suggest otherwise. Maybe go reread them before slapping that brave anon button again to come from ‘a good place.’

4) Evie is ONE of FIVE OCs I’ve written on this account. And the only plus size OC of them too so IDK why I’d ever act ‘holier than thou’ about a SINGLE OC when the numbers are 1 of 5 here... I’m not gifting the fandom the gift of me, I’m just writing content I enjoy. I’m gifting it to my damn self. There’s no crusade. There’s no BIG STATEMENT UWU. She’s not some political piece, y’all can be so dehumanizing with that toward fat characters or characters of color. Just let them exist proudly. If you don’t like it maybe they’re really not for you!

Evie’s literally just a character I created that I adore. Fat characters exist and they can be whatever we writers want. If people feel represented by her, I think that’s amazing and I so so appreciate when I’m told. It’s a special thing to see yourself represented when you never do in fandom or mainstream spaces!! She represents parts of me too that I’m still learning to love. But if not, I’m sure she’s still relatable. She has a whole personality beyond being a plus size girl bc being fat is not her defining trait. We absolutely should encourage more positive diversity in fandom, esp in main characters. Everyone of all sizes writing about what they look like is awesome! We agree on that point!

5) Evie is one of five ocs. Again. I’ve gotten hate messages and passive aggressive comments for all three of my big fics. Evie has ONLY EVER gotten hate for her size and race. She’s gotten a LOT.  ((sometimes her eating disorder, but that’s another issue)) And yeah, it doesn’t shock me. It’s too transparent. People who relate to her don’t deserve that shame either.

I hadn’t even started posting the actual fic before I got my first hate msg about her being an “oc reach bc billy hates fat chicks” whatever. So I think I’m allowed to defend and stan her that much harder and her role in this fic. I think I’m allowed to gush about how much I love her story against all the disgusting hate she gets. I’m not apologizing for that. Me loving Evie super hard has nothing to do with anyone else’s OC. It’s not a mission. It’s not a dig. She’s mine.

**So no, anon, I don’t think I’m doing any big, in your face, public service with my ONE plus size oc. I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just creating content for myself to enjoy. If others enjoy it too, awesome!! If not, they’ll find something else to enjoy. It’s a big space with lots of amazing writers, I can even direct you to a few!!! I’m happy to do that!! ****If I really had an issue with white or skinny ocs....I wouldn’t be writing them myself which I DO. I wouldn’t be supporting my fellow writers who also write them!!

So you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe that you actually support Evie or me or my fics. All this message served to do was dwindle an author’s excitement for her OC and accomplishments. And you didn’t do that. I’ll try even harder to support fellow writers around me tho!! ^_^

If this is a big misunderstanding bc you misreading asks that I’ve gotten or you misread my tone or remarks anywhere, that’s really not my issue either. IDK, maybe I’m popping off too much too, but this accusation is truly mean-spirited. I know things don’t always translate over the internet well, but I’ve been openly loving and supportive to fellow friends and authors despite anything that’s been said. Even through laundry lists of passive aggressive and hateful messages about my stories since my first fic took off. I’ve seen friends get hate too and I can’t stand that they have to deal with that. They SHOULD be proud of their works always.

I know I don’t deserve them and I know I don’t deserve this either. I know who I am at the end of the day and I know what I put into the world and I know that my fics are mine first. I know my truth and I hope you know yours behind that anon button.

So, thank you for your concerns but please drop them somewhere else and have a wonderful day enjoying the free content we put out. Support your favorite writers and encourage all writers to keep doing what they love and getting better at it! Thanks!!! xoxo :)))

[alanncs]

hi my angels ! my name’s dani , i’m from toronto ontario aka best city in the worldt , & i’m 20  !  i’m the kelsey m on the main  &  i can’t tell u how excited i am to have wealthy up n running again !  i literally can’t wait to plot with all you beautiful peoples , so pls like this  &  i’ll slide in the dms , otherwise u can also hit me up on discord 𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958  !!  i’m gonna put all you need  2 know about alanna below aaand i hope y’all like her ! <3

new york’s very own alanna d'alessio was spotted on broadway street in gucci bee sneakers . your resemblance to hailey baldwin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being reticent , but also gracious . i guess being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be anything pink , the lingering smell of weed , and a cigarette between her fingers . &  ( cisfemale & she/her  )  +  ( dani , 20 , she/her , est . )

                    *  /   𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full  name  :  alanna  marie  d’alessio  .

age :  twenty  -  one  .

hometown  :  new  york  city  .

zodiac  chart  :  scorpio  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  libra  rising  .

character  inspo  :  alyssa  (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world  )  ,  marissa  cooper  (  the  o.c  )  ,  hanna  marin  (  pretty  little  liars  )  .

                   *  /   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚   !!  tw  : kidnapping , ransom , drugs

alanna was born heir to the d'alessio family which came with the billion dollar dynasty that her parents created . 

her dad is an italian government official  but they grew up in ny basically bc her dad is an ambassador/representative for italy  &  her mother is a super model who also wanted to raise her kids here having lived here her whole life , and so they did . 

she had everything handed to her on a silver platter and her parents expected nothing but success from her because of how wealthy they were, they knew they would never have to worry about providing for her and her siblings , and so they spoiled her with whatever she asked for and more

but that came with a price, she was expected to do everything they wanted of her, go to an ivy league college, follow in one of her parent’s career footsteps

alanna did just that, she got amazing grades in high school and was head of many student clubs, organized prom, got almost perfect on sat’s and exams, and busted her ass to get into a good college despite the fact that her parents could’ve easily gotten her a spot if she didn’t do as well as she did

her life was going so well, she had the perfect boyfriend, perfect group of friends, was on her way to brown university in a couple of months, her parents and her couldn’t have been in a better spot with their daughter

the last thing they expected was for someone, a stranger, to get their hands on their daughter . a week after her 18th birthday , she’s walking to school on a monday morning and before she knows what’s happening , there’s something over her head and she’s being dragged into a van and taken from her life

the one thing that was expected, was the $10 million ransom she was held for

basically her dad had some shady dealings with the italian mob & didn’t pay his debts to them for some time - so they kidnapped alanna in retaliation for that

they kept her for 3 days before her parents were able to work with the authorities to get her returned and pay the people in full

surprisingly, she was returned alive but she had to spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards with injuries

once alanna was returned, she wasn’t the same

she told the police what happened to her , but only barely . she didn’t tell her parents or anyone else about what they did to her when she was gone .

she didn’t speak , eat or sleep for two months after she got home

she spent the last few months of her high school in bed, she didn’t attend her graduation, deferred from going to brown in the fall, she didn’t see her friends anymore and she broke up with her boyfriend

the people who took her were never caught & she is still to this day completely terrified of going anywhere alone

she never walks anywhere alone  

it took her months to be able to get back to doing normal things again and being who she was before

to this day ,  alanna still struggles with the memories and the ptsd from what happened to her , but she doesn’t speak to anyone about it and she refuses to bring it up in any scenario

she also has a horrible relationship with her father now , having trouble forgiving him for what happened to her

some people know about it as obviously, being as famous as her family is, it was on the news at the time, and everyone she went to high school with knew what happened so sometimes it can be hard to avoid it

she wants to forget - here comes her secret - she got into drugs after the kidnapping and it quickly spiraled out of control , now she can’t seem to function without them because they’re the only thing that make her feel normal and make the memories fade

anything she can get her hands on rly

but the media think she’s an angel , her reputation has been kept p much pristine her whole life . and her parents have no clue how much she’s struggling or how much she’s changed . so if this were to come out , it would tarnish not only alanna’s reputation but her family’s  as well

                                         *  /   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  !!

after deferring from brown ,  alanna knew she had to find some way to keep herself occupied and make money , even though she could live off her parents for however long she wanted

alanna wants to be . miss independent .

so she started getting into modelling , bc of her mom it was easy for her to book gigs

she was able to book gigs like adidas , guess , calvin klein  etc  !

so  that was super exciting for her bc she got really into it and  enjoyed doing it sm

she started acting about a year ago - started off in a few movies , & now she’s currently starring in a netflix series - smth similiar to elite or on my block !

oko so in high school alanna was super bubbly , and just like the really overly nice girl that would talk to literally every 1

but it worked for her bc she was  voted prom queen  and valedictorian ! even tho she missed graduation . yike

Anyway now ! she is not v much like that anymore , except  when she’s super high .

since her kidnapping alanna has been closed off and aloof . in general , she’s not as talkative

she says what she thinks but it usually comes in one word mumbles

can sometimes b very entertaining  . she’s kinda like paris hilton a little bit

also think Marissa from the oc !!

call her a  spoiled brat she’s gonna be like “ yah… and ?”

she  can be very selfish to a fault  in certain situations

and very defensive if she feels attacked, judged , put into a corner , physically cornered , etc

she’s a hopeless romantic at heart and dreams of having an epic love story

but she  has Hella trust issues which easily lead to commitment issues for her so … she will cheat “by accident” lol

that’s why she tries to steer clear of relationships but she also has such a big heart she  falls in love 5 times a day sffsdkj

also w  how much this girl  can sleep around it’s not happening any Time soon 4 her ! she enjoys being single a lot

Bc she likes to get wild

shes like nicole richie on the simple life when she’s partying  lmao

like she likes 2 fuck with ppl sometimes lol , like she will flirt w anyone and everyone just cus she’s bored

umm she lives  in sweatpants n crop tops !

her hair is either in a  bun or just down , she’s rly lazy when it comes to hair and makeup   . like if her makeups done someone else did it lol

Unless she’s like fully in the mood

ooverall she’s a rly sweet lil bean whos just scared of humans ! :’(

um ya idk im always developing  her but IF U read  all this  ilysm !

here’s her pinterest board for more of an idea !

                                  *  /  𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔  !!

EVERYTHING   !  here is a link to my wc page & a link to my wc TAG which are both full of ideas so  msg me  & i’ll throw tons of ideas at u <333 let’s do it i luv plotting sm okay

[amorejeon]

Stranger Danger pt. 1

Pairing: namjoon x y/n

Genre: tinder!au, nonidol!namjoon

Word Count: 1.5k

Warning: badly written fluff, mentions of some mature themes, smut (in the future) and a best friend that is too sweet for anything

Summary: The one where your gay best friend forces you to download a dating app and you match with a tall boy who loves crabs.

A/N: I am trying hard to get content out but I have been preparing to go back to school and get my master’s so bear with me please. Thank you for reading my works and I hope to have a second part come out soon. Love you all XOXO.

“Come on and just download it, you have nothing to lose here.”, the nagging voice of Hoseok practically shouts from the kitchen. It has been five years since you have been on a date and frankly both you and Hoseok are both done with your bitching and moaning. You two have lived together for those five years and he is tired of hearing you complain about how single you are. “Yeah, okay, but, what if I match with someone and they turn out to be a completely crazy psycho-killer?”. The look he gives you incredulous and it was like he could see right through the bullshit story you were giving him.

“You are a twenty year old woman. You should be able to tell when someone is a complete and total maniac.”, his voice was sort of shrill as he began to feel frustration with you. 

“If you think it’s so easy why do you just make my account for me then?” The short moment after that sentence came out of your mouth Hoseok’s smile grew into a devious one and his hand was quick to grab at your phone and shove it in your face to unlock it. Your panic sat in as you began to realize you just left your phone in the hands of your best friend and you know that he is going to make the account as ridiculous as possible. 

“Wait!” You call out as you try to reach for your phone in his grasp but he begins to stand up and put the phone over his head. “You better sit your dick deprived ass down while I try to find you someone.” His voice was stern and he held a glare in his eyes. It was like he was trying to test you and knew that he was going to win as soon you sat down. “Please don’t put anything embarrassing like ‘horny single in your area that is waiting to get dicked down by a monster cock’ because if you do I am going to cry and unfriend you.”, your cheeks were red as you continued to ramble to him. “I’m not a pimp.” He gasped in fake horror as he continued to make your account. “You’re acting like one.” You mumbled as you started to chew on the inside of your cheeks in anticipation. In no less than five minutes he hands the phone back to you and wipes off his brow like he was working hard. “You should be able to get a match soon...Do you know how hard it was to have your account not scream ‘desperate been single for too long’?” He moves his hands theatrically. 

 You blush in embarrassment and roll your eyes,”Don’t be homophobic.” You laugh as he looks at you like you are an idiot. “Bitch, how? I’m gay as hell...I’ve been out of that damn closet since I was fourteen.” He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. The sound of your phone dinging brings you both out of your small bickering and has him rushing to grab it. “Hey!?”, you call out as he snatches the phone and unlocks it. “‘GoldenJeon97 has sent you a friend request’”, he wiggles his brow as he reads the notification off to you. Hearing him read that off to you makes your heart race and your hands begin to get sweaty. “Are you going to accept it?”, your voice shakes. There is no reason as to why you should be getting nervous but here you are, acting like you are going on a date for the first time. 

Your best friend hands the phone back to you and has it opens to your DM’s. “Go on and open it.” You shakily open the DM and quickly close it in disgust, “Never mind,” you mumble “I don’t need to add him back anyways.” You close the app and sigh as you put your head down into your lap in despair. “I am never going to find someone like this.” Hoseok has never heard you sound that in need and sad before, it was almost like his heart broke just even hearing you. “Give it some time.” His voice is calm and sweet as he rubs your back. You never normally cry over something trivial like this but you can’t stop the flow of tears as you start to hiccup. “I don’t know why guys won’t talk to me and if they do it’s because they want me to suck their shrimp dicks.” You wail as you blow your nose into the elbow of your sweater. You shouldn’t even be crying over something like this because you just downloaded the app but you just can’t help it.

Hoseok sighs and then claps his hands together, “You know what?” You lift your head up and wipe off your snot covered nose,”What?” He smiles and grabs your phone. “Let’s go get something to eat and drink, maybe that will cheer you up.” He pulls you up off of the couch and drags you to the door so you can slip on your slides. You both finally leave the apartment and set off to go to a small sports bar that is less than two blocks away.

You two stay out for a few hours and then come back as soon as you start to show signs of being drunk or at least a little bit tipsy. You hold onto Hoseok’s hand as he carefully walks you back to the apartment. “Hobi”, you whine, “I don’t want to go home.” You sounded like a little child who didn’t want to leave the park and it was quite endearing to him. “We have to go home or else we can’t watch a movie together.” He tries bargaining with you and you slowly give in. It takes you less than ten minutes to get home and for him to practically drag you into your room. “Okay, sweetie,” he talks to you softly knowing you cry easily whilst being drunk, “I need you to change into pajamas while I go make some popcorn for us and I will come back in here. Okay?” You nod your head and watch as he leaves out of the room and you smile.

You quickly change into your clothes and plop yourself down onto your bed as you wait for Hoseok with a smile on your face. You didn’t know how you could be so lucky to get a best friend like him but look what happened. He comes back in his pajamas and with a large bowl of kettle corn for you two to share. You guys finally get arranged on the bed and watch the movie in silence until you start to speak up. “Hobi?”, your voice is small as you begin to talk. “Yeah?” His eyes don’t leave the screen but you can still tell that he is listening to you. “If I was gay I would date you.” You slur slightly and put your head on his shoulder. He chuckles and shakes his head,”I’m sure you would but it doesn’t work like that.” He smiles and then goes back to being silent. He has dealt with you being like this a plethora of times before and he doesn’t even get fazed by it anymore because he knows that you mean no harm. 

The movie finally ends and he looks down at you with a smile as he notices that you fell asleep. He gets up carefully and makes sure to tuck you in before leaving the room. His heart feels for you but he knows that you are going to find someone that will make you smile...he can feel it. The next morning comes quickly and you wake up groaning. It has been a while since you went out drinking like that but you can’t help but feel a little better about everything. You grab your phone and quickly check it to see fourteen more friend requests but one in particular stands out to you. “MonieKNJ” you mumbled the name but can’t help feel like that name is really familiar. You quickly add him back along with everyone else. Finally, you get up out of your bed and rub your eyes while yawning. Before your leave your room to go get someone water your phone goes off. 

             From: monieKNJ

                    Hello, peachyY/N! Thank you for adding me back on here. I          couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are and how well articulated your        profile bio is. I am from around your area and I was wondering if we could meet up for some coffee and maybe get something to eat? If you don’t want to I understand because we just ‘met’

Have a nice day,

KNJ

You get up quickly and run to Hoseok’s room. “Hobi, I need your help.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[dayseternal-blog]

A NaruHina fanfic based off of shamy’s doujinshi posted May 31, 2019.  Please check out her 5-panel illustration!

Read Chapter 1 here.

Read Chapter 2 here.

Chapter 3: Better than J-dramas

She was looking at me a lot, right?  

He slumps down into his couch at home, pondering the girl he just met.  

It could just be that she was shy, knew him the best, and so she felt more comfortable turning to him during their lunch break.  

Or, it could be his imagination, his ego, talking.  But he doesn’t want to be one of those guys, who thinks that every time a girl smiles at him, that means she’s into him.

Or…

He tilts his head in thought.  Maybe she liked me a little?

True, they just met, but he’s a pretty attractive guy, right?  He knows he’s not ugly, maybe not a 10, but not like a 3, either.  He works out regularly, and in his own, awesome opinion, he thinks he’s pretty nice.

Would I like that?  

If she is interested in him?

He wouldn’t mind it…

She was rather pretty.  She had a nice face and nice skin.  Nice, interesting eyes.  Nice hair.  Nice voice.  She was a nice girl.  Cute.

Not very fashionable, with her long skirt and sweater layered over another sweater, but maybe that just means she’s not high maintenance (unlike his semi-serious, acting-major ex Shion from sophomore year).

It’s not like he’s really fashionable, either.

He recalls her quiet smiles and determined expressions.  Yeah, she was cute.  She definitely seemed sorta innocent, which is a quality he doesn’t see too often in girls his age anymore.  That seems to really up her appeal to him in ways he doesn’t want to self-examine.    

Wonder if she has a boyfriend.  

He remembers everything she told him and the things he learned about her online.  He knows she doesn’t have any social media accounts, or they at least don’t pop up on search engines.  And nothing she said hinted at a special someone.

She did talk about a few friends.  

He frowns at the extent of his contemplation.  I should just ask her out!   It wouldn’t be a big deal because if she says no, he’d probably never see her again after the concert, unless she has another concert, but it’s whatever.  

He’s old enough to ask people out casually, isn’t he?  

It’s just not something he’s ever really done.  With his “free” time in college spent in various theatres around town part-timing, building his network, or watching other shows to learn new design ideas, he doesn’t exactly have a strong dating history.  Usually Sakura makes it her personal mission to hook him up with someone, but it’d be nice to not wait for her to find him his next maybe-we’re-together-but-maybe-we’re-just-seeing-each-other fling that inevitably ends because the girl can’t handle his fluctuating work schedule (Monday and Tuesday or Thursday off, work some weekday nights and every weekend).  

Imagine if he told her he started dating someone without her help!  Hah!  He’s not a helpless case after all!

Anyway, it’s not a big deal.        

He can do it.

And, if he doesn’t start now, Sakura will run out of willing friends eventually, and he’ll have to start signing up for those dating apps and “sliding” into random people’s DMs, and, well, he’d rather not?

Yeah, yeah, I’ll ask her out for coffee or something.

With that matter settled and tucked away for later, he grabs the remote, turns on the streaming app, and navigates the site to the drama.  It’s only 13 episodes long, one hour each. He can definitely marathon it, especially since he doesn’t have to go in for work in the morning.

He’s halfway through the first episode when his flatmate, his best friend, walks in.  “Oh, you’re watching Picture Tomorrow.”  

Naruto turns to hear Sasuke dumping his stuff in the kitchen.  “Yeah, did you watch this?”

“Sakura made me.”

Figures.  Naruto turns back to the show.

“You’re not going to like it.”

“I’m not?”

“Well, of course not since the girl dies at the end.”

Naruto turns furiously to see him standing there indifferently.  He throws his hands up.  “Sasuke!”

“What.  You didn’t know that?  How could you not know that?”

“Well, I didn’t!”

“Oh.”  Sasuke retreats back to the kitchen.

With the end spoiled, Naruto continues the show with less enthusiasm than before.  He watches the love interest gaze at the simpleminded heroine curiously.   She’s gonna die!  Don’t fall in love with her!   He sighs as he realizes every single moment watching this drama will now be colored with those thoughts.  “Did you like it?” he questions loud enough for Sasuke to hear over the sound of the sink’s running water.

“...”

Naruto watches Sasuke silently deliberating across the serving counter.  If he hated it, he would have said so already.  “So it’s a good show, then?”

“It’s interesting.”

That’s pretty much Sasuke-speak for ‘it’s great.’  “I’m gonna marathon the whole thing tonight.  You wanna join?”

Sasuke grimaces at him.  

But a couple minutes later, after he microwaves some leftovers, he joins him on the couch.

“Oh, this is one of her songs,” Naruto comments aloud as the episode flashes a few sponsors before a commercial break.

Sasuke turns to look at him.

“Hinata, the pianist.  She’s having a concert at HKT this Saturday, and I’m her point person,” he explains.

Sasuke silently nods.

Throughout the drama, he vocally notices her songs.  “This is her song, too...think this one’s called ‘Finally Arrived.’”  He mentally considers that the music sounds different from her online profile, like with other instruments added, and he doesn’t doubt that she composed the music for them, too.  “Gee, she’s really talented.”  

“Hn.”

Eventually Sasuke leaves him alone, and it’s a good thing because when the heroine tells her love interest her diagnosis, but they start dating anyway, Naruto finds himself tearing up.  

By morning, he’s got a permanent frown on his face when she tells him she wants to break up with him, while keeping her terminally ill prognosis secret.

Sasuke comes out, readying for work.

“Sasukeeee...why…” he exhaustedly whines.  

“I told you you wouldn’t like it.”

“No, no, I like it...I think…”

“Are there still tickets for her concert?”

“Wha?  Oh, I dunno...probably…ugh I hate this show...I mean I don’t hate it…”

“Stupid.”

“Noo, this is your fault.”

“Later.”  The door clicks shut, and Naruto is left alone to wallow in his misery.

Sasuke doesn’t come back that night, probably staying over at Sakura’s place, so he doesn’t have anyone to voice his thoughts to until the next day when he goes in for work.  

He tells the rest of the crew about how his jerk of a flatmate spoiled the ending, and how touching it was that the boyfriend ended up becoming a cancer researcher.  

To which their only reaction of note is how Naruto didn’t know that the girl was going to die at the end.  “How did you not know that?”  “The novel’s been on the best-selling list all season!”

“I just didn’t know!”

When Hinata comes in for her rehearsal, he unthinkingly engages her in his venting.  “I finally watched Picture Tomorrow!” he informs her.

Her lips turn up slightly.  “Oh, did you like it?”

“Yes!  I hated it.”

“Oh…”

“It was so sad,” he bemoans.

“So...you didn’t like it?” she asks.

“No, it was great!  It was awful,” he clarifies for her.

It starts quietly, her giggle.  He watches her light grey eyes disappear into small slits under dark lashes, and he’s momentarily struck by the realization that he made her laugh.

“Your music was great, too,” he adds, and he suddenly finds himself much more taken with her smile than the drama.  She’s wearing make-up today.  And a dress.  “It completely tied together every scene, it was really nice.”

Her eyes, her entire expression, shines up at him.  “Thank you.  I’m glad you liked it.”

“Yeah...”  He works his hand into the back of his neck.  Right before the rehearsal starts would not be a good time to ask her out.  So, he redirects his thoughts to his work.  “Are you ready to get started?”

She nods, her shy gaze still focused on him, her cheeks still lightly pink from her laughter.

And he notes how she still looks happy as she follows him toward the stage.

He and the rest of the crew clap and give her cheers as she bows to the empty seats.  

She turns and looks at him, smiling a scrunched up, embarrassed and amused expression at their antics.

He grins at her, making sure to holler an extra loud “Wooh!”

Her mouth seems to drop open in surprise, her brows furrowing in confusion at his enthusiasm as she comes off the stage into the wings.  

“We won’t be able to cheer you on tomorrow night, so we gotta do it today,” he explains.  Tomorrow they’ll all be in work-mode.  Silent and invisible.  

“Oh,” she answers thoughtfully.  “Thank you.”

“Yeah!  Everything sounded great.  Looks like we’re ready for tomorrow!”  

She smiles in agreement and nods.  

He feels his weight tipping forward toward his toes, an antsiness that urges him to bounce on his feet.  Now’s the time, now’s the time.

His senior’s yell bursts through his thoughts.  “Hinata!  Before you go, I wanted to know if you’d sign this sheet music for my wife.  She teaches your songs to some of her piano students.”

She turns from him, her smile directed away.  “Oh, sure!”

Naruto lets out a silent sigh.

He doesn’t get another moment alone with her, and he doesn’t want to subject himself or Hinata to the pressure of asking her out in front of everyone.

It’s only later that night when he’s leaving the theatre and walking to the bus stop that it occurs to him he could message her.  He has her number saved, at the time it was for “just in case” as her point person.  

Well, but asking her out in a message seems like a cop out.

He fiddles with his phone for a few seconds before opening a new thread.  

“Hey Hinata this is Naruto”  

He sends it before he can regret it.

He waits a minute.  

Nothing.

She might be one of those people who doesn’t obsessively check their phone’s notifications.

He starts typing again.  

“We’re all getting dinner around 4:30 tomorrow.  You’re welcome to join us before your warmup”  

He stares at his phone for a few seconds before pocketing it.  Based on her response, he might be able to gauge her interest in him.  If she responds.

His phone vibrates when he’s nearing his stop, and he’s relieved to see that it’s her as he exits the bus.

“Hello, Naruto, thank you :)  I’ll be there!”

A positive response.  A pretty normal, positive response.  

He doesn’t gauge anything from it, and now he has to figure out how to reply.  For anyone else, he would just “like” her reply.

But she’s not exactly just anyone, and he kind of wants her to notice him the way he’s noticing her.

“Great, see you tomorrow”

He considers adding “have a good night,” quickly decides against it, and presses send.

Her reply comes almost automatically.  “Yes, have a good night :)”

He frowns at his phone.  He should have just added it the first time.  Now is it weird to drag on the conversation?  Why didn’t she just say “see you tomorrow” in response?

Before he can take any longer thinking about it, he sends a short message.  

“You too”

He lets out a long breath.  

The last time he exchanged messages with a girl (that wasn’t a platonic friend) was three months ago.  That contact didn’t last past the first date, set up by Sakura.

They were incompatible.  Little attraction on both sides when it came to conversation.

It would be nice if he could have a relationship.  None of this waiting around, none of this feeling the other person out, none of this second-guessing every move, or just trying to make a move.  

He’s ready for more.

He's ready for someone to share some sweetness with.

[kawaiigirlgoingghost]

That one time a guys Ghost and Demon gave me more attention than he did- A Storytime

To preface this story- I've been single for 2 years- I do go on dates using tinder from time to time but I knew this dude through friends and he was a genuine dude (he just possessed the personality of wet cat food and is kinda douchey to women due to not being in relationships whatsoever)

I wouldn't just roll up at someones house like this typically and do what I did under most circumstances!

We will call him "Sasuke" b/c I cant think of anything else but Naurto rn ( R*O*C*K*S* )

The story

This story takes place back in beginning of December and I was 21 at the time. I was swiping on tinder one morning and I see Sasuke is on tinder. Last time I had heard something from him is when he spazzed on me for dating someone and I blocked him on snapchat! I swiped on him thinking, "Hes not going to swipe lol" Hahaha I was WRONG. He indeed did and completely forgot he said what he said to me -.- so I was shook and he wanted to hang out that night- at his house. I obviously snapped immediately and asked- "Why are you asking me over to your house? Sasuke we've never hung out!" He flipped and unmatched me. He acts like he does not follow my cosplay account on instagram so I find his page and slide into his DM's. He starts treating me A LOT differently (idk why. I think I was close to 300 followers at that time?? I dont think following should determine how you treat people in my opinion.) He apologized and said he was moving (side note: I still do not know if he did move because I decided the universe was doing me a favor that nice and made sure he was blocked off my private accounts.) I straight up asked Sasuke "So you're alone is what you're saying- in an empty house and you want me to come over?" Of course I'm expecting him to address the obvious red flags popping up- you know an empty house, you're there alone and you want me over? He doesn't and says I'll be fine. A couple people know this dude and in my mind I got this figured out "I'll just leave enough DNA evidence with my hair, shoes, fingerprints, google location like good luck murdering me and getting away with it lol"

It's the best mindset I have towards things and someone who doesn't understand the value of forensic evidence could believe they could get away with such a crime. Also, the thought of dragging my dead body tires me. I assume the killer would get messy anyway b/c ya know. They didnt really sign up for a work out session with murder I guess? I digress

I got over there and I park in the driveway (like I was informed to, I hate just parking in places other people have claimed as there spot yk? So I asked him where like 4 times) So I'm parked and waiting for him to come outside. It's around 5:30/6 during the bigging of winter so the sun is gone and it's dark already. As I'm waiting I'm staring at this home and I'm getting a vibe from it. Unless I see that door open I'm not getting out of my car it's way to dark outside. I'm looking at this house and it's very inviting but when I see him come out hes very starled. So I quickly learn hes scared to be alone at the house by himself not by him telling me but by how hes acting, which he could have said upfront, I'm not a bad person! I'd stay with someone to house sit if they were scared of spirits in their home! I get inside and the house was set up like a split level so you'd walk up the stairs and get to the main level of the home. The first room was like an entry room and it had really pretty paintings in it. I, almost immediately, felt something standing back against the wall staring at him and I. When you walk up the stairs you face the hallway and the kitchen. The feeling was to the left of me, not to the right towards the hallway. This becomes important and relevant information.

Now this spirit, hes a younger looking business man, very attractive if I may add, and hes around 6ft, 6ft 1. I can feel hes taller than me and he is absolutely pissed off. He's not pissed with me and I can feel hes not aiming anything at me, he is, however, annoyed I'm there. I'm now walking through the hallway to his room. He shows me his little step up and stuff, which it's cute and his camera equipment was on point! I heard a knock two doors down but I know he has 2 bigger dogs that he always keeps with him so I guessed he put them two rooms down so they didn't swarm to me coming up the steps. We leave his room and go back down the hallway, he doesn't let them out so I assume hes like, scare they'll hurt me?? We through the kitchen to get to the living room to sit with him and chat. He starts talking about how he's suppose to be getting gumies (the not scooby doo kind so 🚮) from this dude. I'm looking at dude Sasuke like he's stupid. I asked him why he wanted me over so badily if he was waiting for something like that to come. He said he wanted a girl to kiss and then I feel something watching me. I stop him in the middle of his fuck boy bs and ask him if he has family or friends here. He said no, he has a cat and I know he has 2 dogs. I'm like oh okay I love cats and he asks what we should watch. I skeme and make him watch Yu Gi Oh. He leaves me alone off and on for about 2 and half almost 3 hours. His cat kept coming and going which was super cute but I hadn't seen the dogs and safely assumed they were in the room 2 doors down from his bedroom. I could still feel the man in that room, kinda peaking through the doorway to check on me through the opening over the kitchen sink. (the couch was on the other side of it) I was totally fine with that as he wasn't up to anything crazy and I didn't feel like he was going to harm me.

We changed to watching some show I now forget and I had to use the bathroom. He showed me where it was and that was all fine. He went back down the street or whatever he was doing to wait for his gummies. I saw the cats food bowl was in there (relevant I swear) and I do my business and leave out the other door. I went through a bigger bedroom and back out into the hallway. I heard knocking at the door again and told the dogs to calm down and I want back into that little room. This mans spirit was now very upset and I sorta felt for him for whatever reason. I go back into the living room and sit down. The man is now closer, like inside the kitchen staring at me watching tv. I then hear Sasuke come back in and call to me. I follow basically in front of the Invisible Man and into Sasukes room. The man does not follow us through the hallway so I determine hes just keeping an eye on me for some reason. He can see me still b/c I feel him staring. Sasuke sits his gummies on his dresser (this is relevant important information to back up a personal theory) and didnt do anything else but walk back out with me.

I follow him out and I can feel this man growing more upset by the second. I rush through the kitchen into the living room and sit down on the couch furthest away from the opening to the kitchen. Sasuke starts trying to put the moves on me by kissing me and I feel the man come into the room. Hes pissed and feels hurt. I take it as a warning that something's not right and push on Sasuke to stop. I ask him

"Is your house haunted?" The energy from the man almost automatically settled. I got the saddest feeling from the man in the corner. They completely ignore the fact they have a spirit in the home (which in my opinion, if you know for a fact it's not a malevolent spirit you are directly ignoring something a spirit that was human and imo I think its trashy to do. Especially if this spirit does NOTHING BUT EXIST WITH YOU!!! You're basically roommates.)

This spirit was, very obvious to me at least, very upset he wasnt being acknowledged. I think he knew I could feel and see him in a way so he flocked to me. Sasuke sort of stops and gets bug eyed at the same time. He asked why I ask so I tell him.

"I feel something here, hes been watching me." I answered. I wasn't upset or freaked out, but Sasuke was. I remember this vividly due to the fact I've never had anyone freak out on me like this!! The man backed off almost completely when he felt Sasuke getting freaked out so if he ever claims he had a demon in his home at that point: that man didn't want to harm him or me whatsoever. He gets up and starts looking around the room- at the walls, down at the floor and on tables.

At first I was confused at what he was doing but I noticed he was looking at things he sees every day and would have a usual spot it stayed in. He was actively looking for proof of poltergeist activity (imo I never did ask).

He gets done running around and sits back down next to me. He's visibly more calm and relaxed so whatever he was running around for helped I guess? He then starts to tell me he use to play is ipod at night to tall asleep and a spirit would violently rip it off and throw it. Of course, I thought he was exaggerating because the spirits in my home display that activity but only when my mother and I are extremely busy and ignore them so to speak.

They also don't have to use energy to throw things so far, they move things on high shelves while we're in eyesight or make a dish towel fall. They know we respond to more relaxed behavior than more extreme behavior.

I straight up told him that's bs, the man you have seems really okay and you dont even have an ipod dock. He said that was before he moved into another room. I asked him which room he stayed in orginally and he walks me into the hallway and shows me the door. 2nd. From. His. He said he would wake up with scratch marks but I didnt take that at face value until I left. I ask him where his dogs were, while I was here I'd love to give them pets (I love animals yk) he said they were ALREADY AT THE NEW HOUSE WITH HIS MOM.

I told him I was not going to be scammed out of pets and I knew his pup were in there. He asked me had a seen them. I hadn't, obviously, so I took the L and walked back out with him. He then proceeds to tell me the family (mom and uncle I believe) used an Ouija board in the home. I automatically hear a crunching noise behind me and look for his cat. She wasn't where the noise came from. I asked if his cat had food somewhere else? Like in the bigger bedroom. He said no.

Something was trying to make itself known and it wasn't the man. The man knew I felt him and knew I acknowledged him fully, so he wouldnt need to use energy like that to get my full attention. I feel something so heavy now lingering by that door. I told him I dont mess with that, whatever is in here with that man means you harm. I grab my shoes and go into his room to get my purse and then he goes to eat his gummies since I'm leaving. He cant find the 3rd pack and eventually makes me dump my purse out on the floor because he thinks I'd steal it (I don't do drugs but okay) I didnt have it so I started to help him look. He found it deep inside his dresser drawer. I automatically left after that because whatever bad spirit/demon this was wanted me to stay longer than I had to. Imo- something was most definitely trying to delay me from leaving and wanted my attention, which tbh if it's not a good spirit, it's not getting my attention. I felt the mans spirit come near the railing to the steps as I'm walking down while Sasuke was trying to get me to stay, he felt more authoritative like and wanted me to leave. I never really got the chance to thank that kind business man spirit but you are the MVP of the universe let's you see this stuff. Probably working to be angel. I don't forget that night because it's important to note that spirits can be stuck around with a demons/bad spirits and that doesnt mean they hold ill intent for you either!! Whatever sort of darker spirit that is, is attached to hallway or the man doesnt let him venture beyond it. It didn't follow me so I assume it's also stuck to the space!

My ending theory is:

His house has two spirits stuck, a good boy and a bad boy

Hes naturally scared to be alone in the house. He could just not be use to energy like that so take that with a grain of salt

He was activity speaking about poltergeist activity (when you think about this, disregard the movie) he was looking for things moved around or out of place.

He said there was use of an Ouija board so I can come to the conclusion that he may just have a low level demon and a spirit stuck there. I'm pretty sure if it was anything higher it would have fed off his panicked energy and would have done something bigger than crunching. It could also be a really grumpy old man but idk.

The scratch marks don't happen usually from everyday spirits but I do have a story time about that though!

Anyway. Be safe, sometimes your tinder dates are scared to be in there own homes. Anyway until next time~

Kawaiigirlgoingghost out!

[lufancy]

Service II (M)

pt 1

Summary: Issa smut with no plot - again, and B is a bit of a hoe, again. Genre: smut A/N: Not a smut writer (disclaimer). I lied guys. I said no pt2, and then you people got me thinking what the hell could I do to follow the 1st one up. And this came to life. Idk. Not edited - yet. Yeah this is r18+ stuff.

If it wouldn’t have been for that damned NDA Elyxion made you sign you would have blabbed your mouth to everyone within a 10-mile radius. Containing your excitement over the night you spent with EXO’s Byun Baekhyun was torture. You felt like you could burst anytime but then you reminded yourself you’d face legal violation of the contract. And you remember seeing what would happen if you’d break the NDA. Let’s just say you don’t have that kind of money.

It didn’t help that Baekhyun’s face was literally everywhere. His face on TV screens everywhere in Korea, his voice booming through the speakers in shops, and his posters plastered everywhere.

You can’t look at him. Can’t hear his voice. Don’t want to see him. Because all of it reminds you of his lips as he put them against you, those eyes that could freeze you in your spot, his voice as he groaned while fucking you deep inside-

“Are you sick?” Your colleague sitting opposite of you was watching you. Shit. Did you say anything allowed?

You try so hard not to eye-roll. “Nope. Fine.”

“You look a little hot. Are you having a fever or something?” You blinked and touched your cheeks to see if they were indeed hot. Stupid Byun Baekhyun. Stupid NDA. Stupid Elyxion. You were losing your mind. “Maybe you should ask to go home.”

Maybe you should stop bothering me. She has been after your job and you know it. “Maybe,” you ignore her for the rest of the day and went on with your paperwork.

Elyxion was a company of torture. You were sure of it. Who does that? Invite you to have sex with a celebrity, something everyone would say yes to right? And then have you act like it never happened. They’re cunning, you think. You can’t even reach out to said celebrity. He is unattainable and if millions of fans can’t even get in touch with him, how in the hell are you ever going to contact him? What would you even say?

Hello! This is the girl sent by Elyxion so you could fuck her. I had a good time! Want to grab coffee sometime?

That sounds ridiculous. Absolutely absurd and slightly psychotic. Maybe, just maybe, you were psychotic. You felt like a psycho. Obsessing over someone who could probably get a girl inside his bed with the snap of his fingers. You’d rather not think about him like that. But then again. How much do you know about him? Well, you have seen him naked and you know he is very good at-

Nope. Not the moment to act like a pervert.

But maybe... it wasn’t a bad idea to try to reach out to him. How big is the chance he’ll even read it? You open Instagram and immediately land on the trending page. Where yup you see his face. You curse and immediately swipe away and tick his name in. Then you start typing to him in DM’s.

Hey! This is the girl from...

You quickly delete the message... you can’t write that! Instead, you hope that by sending him one word will be enough.

Elyxion

Okay. This should do it, right? No one ever knows which celebrities use Elyxion’s services. 

After work, you carry your tired form to the nearest pub. You check your DM’s and open the one to Baekhyun. Nothing. He hasn’t even seen it and it’s already some hours ago. This was a dumb idea.

You order yourself a drink. Your mind drifts to the night you spent with Baekhyun and wonder about the drink he gave you. Its obviously impossible to ask him what that was but you can’t help but wonder.

The bartender slides you a drink and you look up to see him smile. Your heart skips a beat. “I... didn’t order this?” And you hold up your current drink, showing him you were still drinking.

“A gentleman ordered this for you.”

“What gentleman?”

“He left.” Baekhyun maybe? Elyxion? You shake the thought. It could actually be some creep. But why would he buy you a drink and leave?

“Did he say anything before he left?”

“Nope.” The bartender leaves to help another customer.

You stare at the glass. It looks exactly like whatever Baekhyun had given you that night. And when you take a sip...

It’s that drink again. Thick. Bitter-ish and that full flavor.

You look around but there is no one who could even remotely look like Baekhyun. You drown your own drink first, and then the one that this mystery person gave you. You twirl the ice inside the glass and it clinks against the glass like you remember so vividly from that night. You watch the ice move...

And that is when you see it.

On the bottom of the glass, you see a black hexagon with a drawing of a tree inside of it. That familiar Elyxion logo you found on the invitation. What the...

You look around once more and there is still no one who could even look like the handsome celebrity you are looking for. So you go outside - and god is it cold outside the wind feels almost like a storm. Scan the street for someone who could be Baekhyun. But once again. No one. Is this a game Elyxion is playing on you? 

Maybe it’s you. Maybe you just suck at finding him because mind you, you practically threw two drinks back on a half-empty stomach.

Your back hits the wall of the pub you were just in. You wrap your coat tighter around you and think to yourself it might be better to give up. Maybe you should just accept the fact that Elyxion and Baekhyun are going to hunt you forever. You let out a breath and watch fumes dance up to the sky.

The last thing you can come up with is that there is another self-driving fancy car waiting here for you. But even that isn’t here. What now? While scanning for the cars you start to notice something on a black hummer right in front of you.

Someone drew a tree on the fogged window. The Elyxion logo? Its nothing as artistic as the Elyxion logo but who in the world would draw a tree instead of something like a penis to be funny? You walk closer to the car and the door suddenly cracks opens. You open it enough to look inside and there he is...

The same Byun Baekhyun who you see on TV, on posters and what not. The same Byun Baekhyun who was wearing silk robes and fucked you so badly you can’t get him out of your head.

“Hi.” He looks up. Baekhyun is wearing a blue cap and a black hoodie that says Privé. You are just as baffled as the first time you saw him.

You can’t even reply.

He looks a little giddy but happy. “So... please get in.” He smiles. And you do.

You really don’t know what to say.

Luckily, Baekhyun does the talking. “It took me a little while to find you but errr... I wanted to say I’m not exactly the ‘I’m gone the next morning - bye’ kind of guy.”

You finally look at him. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

He looks nervous. Byun Baekhyun! Nervous! The guy who was so smooth and looked like he had his shit together was nervous. What a sight. Then again this is slightly awkward. “No.” He says firmly. “I was wondering... if you’d be in for a second round?”

Yes! Are you kidding me?! A million times yes! God! “Yeah.. yeah I’d be up for that.”

“Good,” the side of his mouth curls and he starts the engine. The drive is short and he pulls up in some, once again, impressive mansion-villa-palace-ish place.

He doesn’t get out when he turns the engine off. “First, I gotta make sure that you understand what this means. What we’re about to do is against Elyxion’s policy and we could face some trouble going against their rules.” You nodded along with every word. “Are you sure you still want to continue?” You nod once last time. And he looks pleased. “My girl.”

He leads you inside and your hands are itching. You want to touch him. Kiss him. Have him. But he takes it slow. Asking you if you want something to drink - yes you do because you’re so nervous - takes your coat. Sits you down. Chats to you a bit as if you were just a friend.

His house is beautiful. Well, you think it's his house. It is huge and there is a big picture of him and his members across the hall. You wonder if they live here too...

He hands you your drink and this time it is not the same. This is a fruity wine. Perfect for dessert. He leads you upstairs, where you get an answer to your question. Two tall guys you recognize as Sehun and Kai are standing in the doorway to someone’s room. They don’t look very happy.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Sehun curses and you quickly go from uncomfortable but okay toI’m-not-sure-if-I-should-be-here. Kai has his arms folded and there is a big frown on his face. Both guys ease up when they notice you and Baekhyun. “Hyung!”

“Hey, kids.” You internally laugh. You know Baekhyun is older because Kai and Sehun are often called Korea’s golden Maknae’s, but both men are a head taller than Baekhyun and look overall more mature. You are totally keeping that to yourself though.

“Tell Jongin he is an idiot. He is going to jeopardize this whole thing for us if he keeps you know up.” You’re pretty sure he called whatever you know is, you know because of you.

Jongin rolls his eyes. “Tell Sehun he should mind his own damn business.” 

“Kids,” Baekhyun coughs. “I’m a little... preoccupied?” He motions to you with his head. Then leads you away from the quarreling two. “Sorry about that.” He grins and you shake your head.

“It's okay. They seem nice.” You’re honestly joking. They look intimidating.

“Yeah? Maybe you can ask them to join.” He’s joking - you hope. 

His room is very different from the place you met him. That place felt like you landed in Castille de Versailles like a fantasy. His room is modern. Minimalistic. Yet very... Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun owns a piano... in his room and it is the most eye-catching thing in the room. Right after comes the various posters he has framed and sitting against the wall. “Do you play?”

You shake your head. But walk toward it anyway. “The only thing I can play is the first ten seconds of Linkin Park’s In The End.” This doesn’t seem to ring a bell for him.

“Can I play you something?” He puts his whiskey and your wine on the piano.

“Yes, of course.”

You watch his fingers dance on the keys. It’s a feel-good mellow song. This is great, you can admire his face without looking like a total creep. But then he starts singing. “Tonight, looking at the moon...”

Every breath is knocked out of you. He looks immersed into his own song and it is admirable to watch someone so passionate play. “Good?” He grins boyishly.

“Amazing...”

He hums, “Not the only thing I’m good at.”

“Show me what else you’re good at.” He raises his eyebrows playfully as to say ‘well, well, well aren’t you naughty?’

He removes his hoodie over his head, and you’re slightly disappointed when there is a white shirt underneath. You’re not sure what he is doing until he wraps the hoodie around you and pulls you closer by tugging the sleeves. 

His eyes run over your face, and you blink. The tension he is creating is too thick. When he finally puts his lips on yours, you might as well stop breathing. Your body turns hot when he gently slips his tongue into your mouth.

God is probably rooting for you because you’re making out with Byun Baekhyun. Again!

The kiss is outrageously dirty, it’s wetter than the first time you made out with him. It’s longer, there is more movement and he is definitely more handsy. His hand is on yours and pulls it to put it on his hard-on. He is still clothed but thinking about it… just…

You try to be bold, and use your thumb to put pressure. Baekhyun hisses and breaks the kiss momentarily to catch his breath, then continues kissing you on the lips.

Then you do it again, but this time with your entire hand and you can feel him shake in anticipation. Your other hand sneaks up under his shirt. You try to get a reaction out of him again, but this time there is no big reaction. So you break away from the kiss and use both hands to remove his shirt. Then, you remove yours. This time it's him who lies down on the stool and you manage to slip his jeans all the way to his knees. He is looking at you with anticipation and he slides his own boxers out, watching your eyes watching him. His member springs free.

“Will you help me out here?” He asks slyly and you nod. You lean over and wrap one hand around his member like he grabs one fistful of your hair. You start at his tip. Pecking it teasingly with your lips and you can tell how much it affects him by the way he hisses. Your mouth is slightly dirty with his precum and you lick it up. “Fuck that’s hot.”

Your confidence shoots through the roof as the Byun Baekhyun says he thinks what you’re doing is hot. Your hand starts pumping him up and down while your other is rubbing his leg. Then you take his tip into your mouth, giving it some pressure by sucking on it. Then slowly continue to take more into your mouth. He hisses and praises you. When you’re at the point of taking all of him in you think he might cum by the way he is pulling your head up and down and chanting your name.

That is... until there is a loud knock on the door.

A/N: Wasnt feeling sexy, definitely came thru.

[imfreefallinall]

Dear Friends (Fake Friends part 2)

2,2k of angst, sad but strong reader. (A lot of) swearing but also a lot of empowering words.

I know this isn’t really an imagine related to Shawn but I wanted to give Fake Friends a fair sequel- and end- because I feel like it is an important topic. Everyone feels lonely sometimes but we react in different ways. I hope that this writing can help you to see a lighten future where you leave back all the toxic people in your life.

Please know that feedback (as reblogs, likes, grammar suggestions and messages) are super appreciated. If you want to slide into my dms to talk about everything, I’m B and I’m here to help.

Also, I recommend you to listen to “Real Friends” by Camila Cabello. I really like it and it suits the imagine.

Love ya, enjoy.

B

part 1

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(two days after Y/N’s birthday)

They were right when they said we wouldn’t stop partying for a second. In fact, we didn’t. We went to Milan and Verona, where Shawn and I shared a sweet kiss under Juliet’s balcony while he was humming “Love Story” by Taylor. One night we went to a local club and came home at six, after eating hot croissants for breakfast.

So today, the last day of my crazy long-weekend birthday celebration, we voted for staying here and visiting the little city I grew up in. We are strolling around, looking at the shop windows (not really interested in buying anything) when I see one of my old classmates with a baby in a stroller. I feel my lungs contract, gasping for air for a few seconds; probably even my heart misses a few beats. Then I feel all the anger, humiliation and sadness I repressed for years coming back to surface. My heart then starts so race quickly, palms getting a little sweaty while they close into tightened fists. I take a deep breath, trying to come back down to Earth. I’m not like that, like them. I am smart and I’m going to behave accordingly.

“Guys, give me a minute” I say smiling a little and starting to go toward her but a big hand gently wraps around my arm.

“That’s Sophia, right? You sure you want to go?” asks Shawn, looking into my eyes to let me know he really was concerned.

“Yeah, I wanna fix this. Sooner or later I’ll have to..go on with my life. I guess sooner is now and I really need to understand why they acted like that” I reply giving him a soft peck on the lips to thank him

“Why don’t you guys go sit in that little bar? I assure you it is super comfy and we’ll have a super tea break with a lot of cookies and stuff” I add, looking at them, waiting for a confirmation. They all nod in response and start to make they way to the tempting showcase full of Italian desserts.

“I’ll go with them but please call me if you need anything,” asks a worried Shawn and I laugh

“Babe she’s not a monster, she’s just a girl”

“A girl who made you suffer for years without any apparent reason. I’ll be your knight in shining armour and I’ll save my mistress” he smiles proudly, making me burst into laughter.

“Gosh, you’re so stupid. You can save your mistress from eating too much sugars later, now go”

“Yup. Just remember that I love you and you’re amazing and everything we talked about, okay?” he pecks me on the cheek and follows the other dudes.

As soon as he’s past the door I move closer to the girl, smiling a little.

“Ehi, Sophia!”

“Ehi Y/N, haven’t seen you in a while! How are you doing?” she asks, hugging me for a few seconds before distancing herself to look at me “You look amazing! look at that body of yours” she smiles again.

“I’m good thanks and you?” I reply kindly “is he yours?” I add, looking at the sleeping baby.

“My brother’s newborn, Luca. He’s cute, isn’t he? I’m fine anyway. Actually, I am engaged!” she exclaims excitedly.

“Really? Wow! It’s amazing, congratulations” I hope I sounded happier than I actually am.

“And I see you’re with Shawn! I still remember when we were talking about him back in 2018, loving his music and his naked torso also” she winks but I don’t actually share a bright smile with her since she’s talking about my amazing boyfriend and not about an object.

“How did you end up together?” what a nice way to ask how we met.

“We met in a library in London. I was there to buy a book and he needed to hide for a few minutes since too many fans were following him. And, yeah, we just started to talk.  Guess he found something special in me” I smile at the memory of that cloudy and ordinary-not-so-ordinary afternoon.

“Yeah, my fiancée is so special. You would have met him, Giorgio, if you came at the dinner. Why didn’t you come again?” she questions as she already didn’t know the answer.

“I wasn’t invited but I’m sure you knew it since you were one of the organisers” I answer directly. Her eyes go a little wider and I could even trust her surprise if I didn’t know she was such an actress.

“Oh, I am so sorry! I thought you were in the Facebook group chat, we sent the invitation there. I’ve lost your number so I assumed Marti would text you or call you” she sounds so fake.

“So there’s even a group chat? Listen, honestly I don’t wanna argue with you but why do you have to be such a bitch?” I wonder, sounding strangely self-conscious.

“Sorry?” she looks at me surprised.

“You heard me. Why do you have to cut me off like that? Why did you even need to cut me off back then?” I continue, now waiting for her to answer.

“I don’t know what are you talking about, we were friends. Yes we didn’t invite you but it was a mistake” she tries to explain but I can see the cruelty patiently waiting behind her big, brown eyes.

“Listen, none of us here is an idiot. Friends do not act like you all acted back in high school. Friends are meant to support each other when one of them falls but even when they succeed. You had never supported me, on none of these occasions. Friends are supposed to be kind to each other, caring and present in every moment, not just when they need something from you. How many times I drove forty minutes on dangerous streets just to come and give you help? And how many times did you do the same for me? Let me tell you, not once. Friends should push you over your limits, make you better; but you always told me I was exaggerating when I was just growing and you continued to declare that I was being bossy while I was just trying to help you through projects and homework because you sucked, mostly because you chatted during class, however, I didn’t want you to fail. Friends talk to each other whenever they do something wrong because they care and they don’t wanna lose their friendship. They don’t smile at your face and then go talk shit behind your back, making you feel bad because of course I found out, every time, what you were saying about me, how you were telling everyone to stay away from me because I always wanted to rule. Friends don’t come around only when they need your help, only when they realize you’re good to them; friends stay by your fucking side, even if you’re being bitchy or bossy or whatever because they know you and they know that if you act like that its because you’re suffering. Friends do not go around, spilling someone else’s secret. I confided to you all of my deepest fears and brightest dreams and you mocked me. I revealed to you all the problems my family was going through and you had the strength to tell me I was just blowing everything out of proportion because I wanted to be pitied. I wanted a sister, a partner in crime, not someone looking at me like I was an oily stain on their favourite sweatshirt. For two years you all came to my birthday parties without a small, insignificant present! I would have loved even a stupid t-shirt. Did you remember how much money we spent every year to buy you expensive presents? And I have never received one! You were so...selfish. How come that this year you sent me a letter to London to wish me a happy birthday? Maybe because now that I’m with Shawn I could be useful?

I have been a friend to you, to all of you. I was always ready to wipe your tears with my fingers while I was still trying to get mine to dry. I let you copy my homework whenever you couldn’t make yours and you wouldn’t even share your snacks with me. To you, I was good only when you realized that no one could give advice like me or that no one would drive in the rain with hot Mc Donald to cheer you the fuck up. And, for sure, friends don’t want to catch up when you happen to have a famous boyfriend they want to impress. So yeah, I guess we weren’t friends and we surely aren’t now.”

“I didn’t know you felt like this, you never told us”

“You never asked! I always shared my happy moments with you. All of those summer nights, when I was on vacation and fell in love with different boys and made such cool experiences and memories you wished you made because you only saw them in movies. You told me I was a bitch because every summer I kissed a different guy while I was just experiencing life, I was being normal. And when I got stuck with one guy in particular you told me I pissed you off because I could only talk about him. You even had the courage to say that I was out of control when I described all those summer nights when I went to that small lounge bar by the seaside and danced the life out of me. You even indicate my parents as crazy because they would let me stay out with my friends to see the sunset and to have breakfast together! For two long years, I stopped having fun with my other friends because I had your voices on replay on my mind, telling me how to behave. You ruined me and it took me so long to get back on my feet, you know?”

“We never told you what to do, we were just being honest” she declares, almost looking offended.

“Yes, you did. You made me feel wrong for a very long time. My light shut down because of you. Fuck, I even gave up on singing because every time I was humming you told me to shut up because I was out of tone” I finish, suddenly feeling exhausted. I have just blurted out all of the scars and pain I had in my body. Now it is a weight she has to share too.

“Well, you don’t seem pretty sad now, do you? You have your beloved Shawn so I guess you’re still a bitch and you’re treating him right, if you know what I mean” she complained harshly. My right hand flies and lands hard on her cheek.

“Don’t you ever talk to me again like that. I wanted, needed you to be my friend. I trusted you. I was fragile and you took advantage of that. But now I’m not fragile anymore. I am strong and happy and most of all I am loved. I hope one day you’ll feel loved too so, maybe, you’ll realize how much of a desperate, lonely woman you are.” I declare emotionless, looking for the last time at her scandalized, silent face.

As I walk in the bar, I realize how broken and unhappy Sophia must be. How insignificant and unsuccessful she must feel. Because as soon as I sit on my boyfriend’s legs, with his arms lovingly wrapped around me and our friends laughing for something stupid Geoff said, I understand that people like Lucie and Sophia, people who act like bullies, just feel alone. They feel like they’re not great and, since they aren’t, you don’t deserve it too. This is what crosses their minds. They do not feel better or superior, trust me. They all feel like they are drowning and they want to drag you down with them. Do not let them.

You need to surround yourself with people who know how to appreciate you, how to treat you at your worst and how to laugh with you at your highest. People who are not afraid to love and to show love. People who spread kindness and who praise happiness at its purest form. I can assure you, the world is full of amazing people who know how to be friends because, yes, everyone is different and we surely are different types of persons and friends but, let me tell you: we, as humans who cherish love, know how to treat each other right and we know how to make each other feel loved. Allow yourself to break free from toxic people, even if its hard, even if you see them every day: distance yourself from them and be happy with new people who treasure you for who you are and not for what you have to offer.

Masterlist

[jeonjeonyourwayhere]

Youtuber!BTS AU (1 of 7) - Taehyung

So i wanted to start writing more but i’m going through a weird writer’s block

like i cant really write in proper paragraphs but ideas are filling my head constantly

but point form works great

also, i really wanted to make moodboards more because they’re loads of fun heh

anyway so here goes

Taehyung would be a very independent content creator like he doesn’t give a shit about the trends on social media and refuses to cave into popular demands

he only does what HE WANTS like strictly, he needs to enjoy the content he puts out

he once tried doing a challenge video like maybe the smoothie challenge

(i really like that challenge btw it’s funny heh)

but as he was filming it he just wasn't feeling it

so that’s how he ended up dragging Yoongi into filming the video with him and like changing it up making it more intense (or gross)

Yoongi hates him for it of course

not for long because tae is his baby and a younger brother he could never stay angry at for long but we’ll know more about yoongi in another post

Taehyung starts off his youtube channel with challenge videos but eventually deviates from it after he realizes his passion for prank videos (and occasionally gaming videos with Jungkook)

with the occasional aesthetic vlogs when he takes his periodic trips with Jungkook

Jungkook likes dragging him to Japan because that’s the heart and soul of Anime and Jungkook could never resist

but that’s also a story for another day

So Tae does daily vlogs during those trips and those videos would have transitions so damn smooth like a baby’s bottom and the scenery would be so beautiful especially with the filters he would use

Taehyung actually has a very good eye for matching color schemes and aesthetics

He also has pretty good luck with seasons as Jungkook tends to bring him to Japan when each season was at it’s peak

but he doesn't do those videos often because the inner perfectionist would chide him constantly and he’d end up abandoning the project because he just! cant! do! it! justice!

so sometimes his viewers end up a little confused with his posts because one day it could be

STUFFED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS DOWN MY PANTS!!! *not clickbait*

and the next week would be “Travelogue Day 01: Cherry Blossoms!”

But his content is always 300%

and he also refuses to create separate channels to separate his prank content and aesthetic content

“i’m too lazy ok i don’t want to keep logging in and out of both accounts”

(same tae same)

so one day he’s out filming a prank video with Jimin where he goes up to random strangers and asks them for directions or sth

and Jimin comes up from behind carrying a packet of fake (but pretty realistic) knives

and oh! accidentally bumps and drops the knives on taehyung’s wrists

and BLOOD OH THE GORE but really it’s raspberry puree

you were his 4th target of the day and he’d come up randomly to you asking you for directions to the subway station

and you’d seen Jimin coming towards you both looking all casual like he’d just done shopping

and as Jimin “trips” and empties his knives on Taehyung

You pushed Taehyung away and screamed as your hands went out reflexively to grab the knives

but WOW! MAGIC! the knives weren’t real

Jimin was left shook

And Taehyung wasn’t sure how a stranger he’d just met would push him away from danger and risk themselves instead

So you were left there for a second, kinda confused as to why you weren’t bleeding the fuck out until Taehyung comes up to you and is like

hey there!!! are you ok!!!

i was doing a prank video and I'm a youtuber

but you’re really cool!!!!!

like how the heck would u just push me aside and do that???

Then you snap out of it and you’re like IM OKAY IM FINE IM NOT BLEEDING

and honestly Tae finds you the most adorable thing eVER

and you look at his face properly for the first time and you’re like fUCK bOi hE’s cUtE

like really fucking cute

but you also recognize him after like 10 seconds of staring straight at his face

and you’re like HEY UR TAEHYUNG

and he’s like YEA DAS ME

Jimin this whole time is just staring between both of you like whAT

then Tae goes on to ask you if it were okay for him to leave the clip of you in his video like what you did was super cool and he really wanted to keep it in

you were a blushing and fumbling over yourself and like yE IM COOL

and he just hugs you once and grins his boxy smile and goes on his way while pulling Jimin away with him

you pull yourself together and go on your own way too

but i mean

you were a tad bit OK A LOT BIT sad that you couldn’t get to talk to him more or sth

but oh well what could you do right? pretty boy probably has a country of girls after his ass

on the other hand, as Tae is re-looking through the footage back at his place in his swivel chair and chewing on marshmallows

jimin stares

“what?”

“tae…did you just what me?”

“um…yeah”

“DID YOU NOT SEE THE WAY THAT GIRL SAVED YOUR ASS i mean it was fake knives but”

“She was amazing like yO i’ve never seen such a quick reflex and she was really pretty and-“

“and you didn’t get her name or number or anythin-”

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT”

so Tae goes on a little panic spree and he like totally regrets just skipping over talking to you and stuff

like he was so ecstatic over the fact that someone actually reacted completely differently during his pranks and like he wanted to edit the video you know

like pronto

“needa put out that quality content in 0.5!!!”

so he starts pacing in his apartment and he’s like wHAT DO I DO

Jimin kinda slaps him over the forehead and is like brO YOU HAVE FOOTAGE JUST USE IT

Tae kinda realises how much of an idiot he is and gets to work immediately

6 hours later and it’s like 2am and his editing table is filled with caffeinated products and his hair is in a mess that kinda defied gravity and was pointed all upwards

his eyes were bloodshot from staring at the screen constantly but he was ay okay!!!

because he finally completed the video and he was gonna find you!!!!!

so how does he actually find you? he doesn't

you kinda find him

one day you wake up and your best friend was blowing up your phone

so you shift your way out of your blanket burrito and rub your eyes clear and all you see is 21038364213 links to the same damn video on youtube

like

BITCH

WAKE UP

AKLDNIUABSK

WAKE THE FUCK UP

PRETTY BOI IS LOOKING FOR YOUR ASS

LINK

LINK

LINK

yeah you get the point

so you’re like half asleep and all hazy in the head after studying the whole night away

you finally come online and your friend is like “FINALLY BITCH” and you ignore her and proceed to click on the link and it redirects you to youtube

and WEW it’s a certain someone’s channel!!!

Video Title: SOMEONE SAVED MY LIFE!!!!

of course, taehyung would use those obnoxious titles

so you’re like ok go on and you press play

and his intro song plays and it goes right into the prank video where he introduces what he’s going to do and what’s gonna happen

then right after the 3rd person’s reaction, the screen blanks

you blink once

and pretty boy’s face pops up on screen!!!!!

“Hey guys!! So like what you’re about to see is pretty damn amazing and this girl right in that video, I kinda need help to find her”

“So please, like PLEASE start blowing up her phone if you happen to know her and let her know that I’m looking for her!”

“If you’re the person I’m looking for then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come contact me on any social media you want, I’m not picky!!”

He grins once more and it goes right back into the prank reactions and wew there’s you!!!

You’re rubbing your eyes more violently this time and you see the footage of taehyung approaching you and jimin comes from behind

then there’s your heroic act of protecting the boy who was still a stranger to you at that point in time

the screen shifts back and taehyung appears once more

“this girl was SO amazing like yO her reflexes!!!!! Keep an eye out for this girl and blow her phone up if you find her for me! Stay cool and peace out!”

Then he does his signature V sign with his fingers and his outro plays

you almost drop your phone but immediately snatch it back and go straight to dialing your friend’s number

it was an emergency and you needed immediate consultation on how to approach the situation at hand like HOW DO YOU CONTACT HIM? WHERE DO YOU CONTACT HIM? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

“CUT IT OUT, JUST SLIDE STRAIGHT INTO HIS DMS”

you do end up heading onto twitter, searching up his account and hesitantly clicking on the message button

you start typing a bunch of greeting messages but backspace is your best friend and you don't know how to start

“hey! it’s me!” NOPE

“greetings taehyung” NOPE

“it is I! Y/N!” Hell to the fucking no

so you end up just going with “boo”

and it’s almost an instantaneous reply where he goes “IS THIS YOU”

and you go “ye”

“DIS YOU?”

“ye dis me”

Taehyung swtiches to your profile in the meantime and ignores all the mentions he’s getting from his viewers (they all link you to him btw like jesus tae your followers are great stalkers)

he looks at your profile picture and it’s definitely you in an oversized grey hoodie with totoro ears and you’re absolutely snuggable

so you guys eventually meet up at a cafe that happens to be round the corner down your block and he’s already there legs crossed on his chair

you both happen to wear oversized hoodies and you both looked absolutely adorable and comfy

he buys you a drink and you both end up chatting for hours getting all jittery from cups of coffee and it starts raining and it gets all cold and it’s just gREAT

you guys continue texting for the next couple of weeks and y'all head to more cafes to hit up that caffeine

then one night Taehyung just NEEDS you to come over to his place and this sounds too quick but don't jump all ahead and hear me out

he calls you while you’re like halfway through one of his random videos

“how would you feel about playing a round of mario kart with me? your defeat shall go straight up onto my youtube channel for all to watch”

“prepare your ass for your own defeat”

“HOOOO you’re gonna regret that”

So you throw on some clothes that are somewhat presentable but still screaming “i cant be bothered”

he invites you in immediately and you guys charge straight towards the tv and grab your controllers and it’s really natural like you’ve been talking for maybe 2 months and you’re really comfy around each other and it’s great

you do end up beating his ass in mario kart

tho he gets back at you in the next round

He did film the entire night so you weren’t surprised that his workaholic ass churned out a 20 minute long video in just 5 hours of editing

“you need to cut down on caffeine tae”

“yes indeed i do”

he posted the video that night and when you woke up the next day, you were honestly expecting death threats from his fans

yes there were a few, like this world isn’t that nice sweetie

but what surprised you was the sudden surge of shippers that flocked to both your social media and tae’s

(not that you were unhappy, it was quite the opposite in fact)

they started labelling you as TAEBAE

because yknow

Tae’s Bae

Then that morning, you receive a message from Tae

“TAEBAE, HOW DOES A TRIP TO THE ZOO SOUND?????”

“Tae????”

“YES”

“What’s with the taebae”

“DAT YOUUUUUU and i’m almost outside your place so you’re coming to the zoo whether you like it or not”

“wHAT”

your first date ends up to be at the zoo and at that point you weren’t even aware that it was a first date like tae is a little fast-paced but you catch up real quick

you guys are terrible at planning so once you get there

you buy hotdogs and slushies and head towards the animal enclosure in a zigzag fashion across the entire zoo

one moment you’re watching the lions lie on their bellies and the next moment tae is giggling over butterflies landing on your head as you walk through the butterfly enclosure

dont forget that tae vlogs the entire day on his gopro

halfway through the day, tae finally grabs a map and finds out that there’s one last animal show and you both race towards it

only to get front seats at the aquatic animal performance

“TAE I ONLY HAVE THIS SET OF CLOTHES”

“SO DO I HEHEHEHHEHHEHEEHHEHE”

you guys get swamped with water but you both cheer at the seal’s performance because it’s a seal and it’s beautiful!!!!!!!!!

But it’s honestly the best date you’ve ever had considering your history with guys like not many of them even knew basic respect

you guys continue running the entire day making it to every enclosure and re-naming every animal

like the lion is richard, tiger is damien, giraffe is steve and ur fave was felicia the butterfly

at the end of it all, your legs were falling off and tae was practically dragging you back out the exit

you and tae end up going to the nearest drive-through and getting burgers before parking at the nearest outdoor carpark and just camping in the car and chilling with food

tae definitely drags you for getting the typical cheeseburger but you stand by your choices in life

it gets a little late and it’s around midnight already but you never want the day to end but you still don’t really know what you are to tae

“Tae, what’s going on?”

“What are you yapping about”

“Like, seriously, what are we?”

Tae goes on an entire monologue about how he was sure he’d hear this question sooner or later and he hops out of the car and rounds to the back and opens the trunk

the car wobbles a little as he grabs whatever he needs from the back and makes his way back to the driver’s seat again

he knocks on the window and gestures for you to head out to the back with him which you follow with the raise of an eyebrow

he gestures to the trunk and when you get back there you kinda just gasp like really loudly and stare at the box that sits right in the middle of the trunk and you don't know what to do

“go on, go grab it”

you freeze once more before going for it and touching the smooth surface

you’d recognize it anywhere

it was the latest nintendo wii and you knew it cost a bomb

“but wHY”

“because my girl needs to train up on mario kart so we can trash Jin at it”

“g-g-girl?”

“hell yeah baby”

and you leap into his arms

not because he got you a new game console with a pile of mario games

but because you really loved the boy in your arms

it didn't take long for him to creep into your heart and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon :-)

AND IM DONE

[taegijae-blog]

BREAKFAST DELIVERY 10

pairing: 2jae

genre: fluff, if you squint there’s angst

word count: 3k

description: the school’s hottest boy im jaebum wants to get a certain boy’s number.  but the first problem is: he’s unhappy and not eating.

status: completed

note: this was originally posted on wakaba’s wattpad @/jaeholics

| part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

Thank God the day following that event was a Saturday, otherwise he'd have to shamefully face the two hearts he managed to break in one day.

Jaebum rolled around in his bed, hugging on the blankets, mumbling incoherently to himself. He felt like absolute garbage. Seeing that his alarm clock read 10:37, he slumped out of bed and dragged himself down to the bathroom. The house was empty as usual, meaning he could totally throw a party that night. If, you know, he didn't feel like dying. As he squirted some toothpaste onto his toothbrush and madly scrubbed his pearly whites, he groaned as he stared at himself in the mirror. He knew he was a good looking guy whose looks would attract mostly every gal or guy. After rinsing out his mouth, he smacked some water across the mirror and blurred the reflection of his sad-looking self. For once, he wished he was ugly. Jaebum tiredly zombie-walked his way over to the kitchen, checking the fridge for any food that possibly could've been left for him. Seeing that it was empty except for some eggs and milk, he already knew that his plans would be to go out for both lunch and dinner. Opening a cupboard, he grabbed a box of fruity cereal and dumped it into a ceramic bowl, pouring milk in after doing so. His dear cat, Nora, crawled up to his feet and rubbed herself against the skin lovingly. "At least you're here," he muttered under his breath, slurping some milk from his bowl as he made his way to the couch. He turned on the television and stared dully at the skin, allowing his pet to crawl onto his lap and rest there. Realizing that he hadn't checked his phone in a while, Jaebum reached for it since it was laying on the coffee table. He turned it on, only to be met with over a hundred missed text messages. annoyed, he unlocked his phone and saw that a particular someone added him to a chat group overnight after he fell asleep, which was the main cause of the overload of messages. He squinted at his screen while he scrolled through the messages. It took him a while to realize that those numbers were familiar to him: Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung, and Choi Youngjae. The last message was sent a few hours ago, so he didn't bother sending anything to indicate that he read the chat. He put down his bowl of breakfast and became invested into the conversation they were having, feeling more and more uneasy. Nora jumped onto the table and quietly drank some of the milk as Jaebum's foot tapped in anxiousness. wango, 2 others [jype]: i'm muting this chat btw [wango]: bro I just want u to listen to my proposal [c.youngjae]: why do you even have my number?? [wango]: thats not important just listen rn [wango]: so jb hyung's like super depressed aight? [wango]: I HOPE HES READING THIS BTW WINK WINK [jype]: winking in text doesn't do anything [wango]: anyway [wango]: i want all three of you to meet up [wango]: and work this out together [wango]: i'm not going to interfere bc this is a u guys issue!! [wango]: u gotta fix it urselves arasso?? [c.youngjae]: ...how tho [wango]: there's a nice place in town [wango]: it's called Cafe A [wango]: all of three meet up there by 3 and talk it out!! [wango]: idc if you're busy or not [wango]: (unless ur planning to meet ur family bc then please go ahead and do that first family is first priority) [wango]: ARASSO?? [jype]: our 'talk' isnt going to last long, you know. [jype]: theres not much I can say

[jype]: it's always been a one sided thing anyway [jype]: i know he likes youngjae way more than he likes me [jype]: and i'm okay with that. [jype]: i just don't want to be thrown away because of that 'love' he has for him. [jype]: you reading this, youngjae? [c.youngjae]: yes, hyung... [jype]: good. [jype]: i don't hate you or anything. it's not like that.

[jype]: it's true that ive liked him since middle school [jype]: but I always knew that it'd ended up being like this [jype]: and how he isn't the kind of person to fall for his best friend [jype]: so I prepared myself for when this sort of thing happens   [jype]: it won't bother me, youngjae. go ahead and date him. [c.youngjae]: hyung, i [c.youngjae]: ...you have to understand that i don't really like him at the moment [c.youngjae]: i'm not sure if i'd agree to that [jype]: that's a shame [jype]: because a really great guy has a huge crush on you [jype]: and it's a waste for you to be ignorant about that. [wango]: ... [wango]: hoh my god  [wango]: i'm a rly good problem fixer

[wango]: jinyoung? 

[wango]: u still there?

[wango]: i guess not 

[jype]: i have plans for today. i'm not going to that cafe. [wango]: oh [wango]: well I guess it's fine now since u guys talked it out!! yeah!!! [wango]: youngjae, don't be discouraged! [wango]: both jaebum-hyung and jinyoung r amazing people [wango]: even tho they seem rly scary and act cold [wango]: its just their way of caring [wango]: ive known them for a long time [wango]: theyre literally the best friends ive ever had [wango]: jinyoung is a rly wise person, there's always a good reason to whatever he does [wango]: jaebum-hyung has sides to him that r like a dad or big brother that u can rely on [wango]: ... [wango]: youngjae??? [c.youngjae]: yeah [c.youngjae]: i'm listening [c.youngjae]: thank you, hyung [wango]: no problem man

[wango]: now go get that dick [c.youngjae]: ???? [wango]: jk jk lol [wango]: r u going to meet up w Jaebum-hyung at the cafe? it's a rly nice place I swear [c.youngjae]: maybe [c.youngjae]: i haven't heard what he says tho... [wango]: aw true [wango]: let me spam him brb [c.youngjae]: wait don't spam him;; what if he's just asleep?

[wango]: 

ugh ur too nice

[wango]:

fine I won't

[wango]:

i'll go spam markiepooh instead♥️♥️

[c.youngjae]:

...right

[c.youngjae]: the other number in this chat is Jaebum-hyung, right?

[wango]: yep!! slide into his dms boy

[c.youngjae]: ;;

Jaebum instantly realized the doom he was about to face.

"No, no, no, no, no!" He literally screamed at his phone, trying to do everything to prevent Youngjae from knowing.

It was probably too late.

[c.youngjae]: ?

[c.youngjae]: wait

[c.youngjae]: but

[c.youngjae]: ;;

[c.youngjae]: isnt that defsoul-hyung's number...

[c.youngjae]: ...it is

[c.youngjae]: hyung.

[c.youngjae]: ... [jaybee]: are you mad at me? [c.youngjae]: no

[c.youngjae]:  even though I did just find out you were double tricking me

[jaybee]: i never meant to make fun of you or anything

[jaybee]: about that party

[jaybee]: i knew bambam only as 'def soul'

[jaybee]: i'm sure you can also tell that he doesn't like me bc im known as that rude, popular shit called im jaebum

[jaybee]: and rapmon told me to come anyway

[jaybee]: btw his real name is namjams

[c.youngjae]: what's your point

[jaybee]: i want to have a second chance

[jaybee]: i know ive been a horrible person, hiding behind two identities just so I could talk to you

[jaybee]: please

[jaybee]: i only ever wanted to cheer you up

[c.youngjae]: ...

[c.youngjae]: i feel stupid for sending you all those messages

[c.youngjae]: no wonder you knew where I was and that I didn't have an umbrella

[c.youngjae]: i feel like you've played me and you probably did 

[c.youngjae]: but the def soul hyung I know is a caring person

[c.youngjae]: and if youre him

[c.youngjae]: then I can hope that your kindness is just as genuine

[c.youngjae]: because I think it's impossible to fake kindness like that

[c.youngjae]: let's meet up at three and talk

[jaybee]: i'll be there

[jaybee]: i won't be late.

Read at 11:07 AM ✓

His phone read 2:57 by the time he spotted Jaebum. He was standing right outside the promised cafe, scrolling through his own phone with his legs crossed. It surprised Youngjae to see that he was wearing a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and an oversized sweater, contrary to his usual attire of trendy clothes that showed off his nice build. He looked pretty hot, to be honest. Youngjae shook that thought out of his mind and approached Jaebum, acting as though he wasn't just staring at him a minute prior. "It isn't 3 yet," Youngjae said quietly, stuffing his hands into his hoodie. "I've been here for ten minutes. I just didn't want to be late," Jaebum replied with a tiny grin as if he wanted the younger's approval. Youngjae scoffed and went ahead into the building, ruining the other's plans of opening the door for him. They went up to the counter, both of them staring at the menu in a similar way. Both of their eyes twitched, cursing at Jackson mentally. "I'm glad Jinyoung decided not to come," Jaebum whispered to the other, faking a smile for the person behind the cash register. "Welcome to Cafe A, one of the first couples' cafe in this town," she smiled enthusiastically, probably a bit overwhelmed on the inside because she had two male customers coming together in her hands. Youngjae hid his face into a hand in embarrassment, and Jaebum wanted to die on the spot. "Would you like to order our monthly special 'love potions?'" she asked, pointing to the piece of paper on the counter. "No," Youngjae and Jaebum said simultaneously. Flustered because of how rude that sounded, Jaebum laughed sheepishly and shook his head. "I'll just have an iced Americano. And, Youngjae..." Youngjae squinted at the menu above them, saying, "I'll have some water." Jaebum's face abruptly switched to one of shock, nudging the younger gently with his elbow. 'Eat,' he mouthed. Youngjae grumbled, feeling like he was just scolded by his mother. "Nevermind. I'll have a melon smoothie." "Alright. that will be ₩6,500." His hand reached into his pocket to grab his wallet, but the taller Jaebum stopped him before he could go any further. Instead, he took out his own wallet and paid using a card. Youngjae squinted his eyes at the other. I bet he just wanted to show off. Stupid seniors. "Thank you. Please come to pick up your order once this starts to buzz," she said while handing over the circular device to Youngjae, who almost dropped it.To the surprise of both, she leaned forward and gestured for them to come closer. "The third floor is popular with... couples like you two," she whispered with a grin. Both boys shook their heads, trying to insist that they weren't that sort of couple. She didn't listen, only grinning happily. 'You guys are so cute!' she mouthed while making a thumbs up, leaving the two speechless as they searched for a table. "Maybe we should go to the third floor," Youngjae was heard mumbling. "But we're not a couple, unfortunately," Jaebum remarked, putting emphasis on the last word to express that he really did think it was unfortunate. "I mean, I'd be more than happy if we were, but-" "The people here are staring at us." Youngjae gestured with a subtle tilt of his chin, completely ignoring what the other had to say. It was true, though; quite a few of the other couples enjoying their food seemed to be whispering at the two. Jaebum scoffed and marched towards the staircase, Youngjae following quickly to avoid any more odd gazed from anyone there. As promised by the girl at the cash register, the third floor was filled with... ...gay. Youngjae's eyes couldn't ignore the variety(?) of couples that were there, enjoying their time together. At one table in the corner, there was someone resembling a llama sitting across from someone who appeared like a girl. He couldn't tell, that person just had long hair. At the opposite side of the room, he spotted a couple that consisted of someone narrow-eyed with bright mint hair, nodding at his partner, who had a radiant smile, while he ranted. At another table they passed by were two people who didn't stand out in particular except that they seemed to be speaking completely in Chinese. Beside their table were two rather young looking guys, the foreign-looking one teaching his partner how to say simple words in English. "I don't think there are any open tables, hyung..." Youngjae remarked with a pout after searching around the room. Jaebum nodded, thinking that they might end up having to sit outside or something. Just then, someone tapped his arm. he turned around to see two rather tall guys sitting at the table nearby, one of them looking highly emo. "Are you looking for a table? Ae can just move our stuff, there's space for you guys," the person who tapped his arm offered, his canine teeth showing as he smiled. "Oh, sure. Thank you." Once the other guys moved their belongings, Youngjae took the seat that was on the cushiony couch and Jaebum sat on the chair. "Are you guys from JYP high?" the person asked, sipping on his ice coffee. Jaebum nodded, leaning back while putting an arm over the chair in an assertive way. "We're from Pledis," he replied, making Jaebum go “Ooh.” No wonder they were wearing nice clothes and looked as though they had their hair done professionally. Although Pledis was a small school, it was a costly place to attend and its students sure did prove that. "God, I would've screamed if you guys were from SM." Almost everyone in the room quieted down when hearing that name as though it was a taboo. SM's school had the roughest teachers and classes by far, and its roughness most likely rubbed off on its students. The device Youngjae held flashed red lights out of nowhere and started buzzing, startling him. Jaebum took it from his hand and headed downstairs in order to grab their drinks. Once he was gone, the high-key emo person who hadn't said a thing leaned over to Youngjae. "Your boyfriend's hot," he said quietly. Youngjae's face flashed a bright pink. "He's not my boyfriend! I'm not dating him," he argued and pouted again. "Really? I think he likes you from the way he looks at you, though," the person sitting across said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. "What's his name?" "Im Jaebum." Someone dropped their fork in the distance as the person almost choked on his straw. "That's... him? He's Im Jaebum?" he asked, clearly as confused as Youngjae was. someone a few tables next to them whispered, “Holy shit, that was Im Jaebum?” "Yes?" Youngjae tilted his head, not understanding what all the fuss was about. "Goodness," he sighed while shaking his head. "He's a literal legend at Pledis." Youngjae's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean by that?" "How do you, his boyfriend, not know about this?" he fanned himself with his hand, accidentally hitting himself in the face. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat. "Anyway, the Pledis legend. Im Jaebum. He used to go to Pledis for his freshman year, I think. But somehow, he ended up becoming the school's first ever student to be full on expelled." Youngjae's mouth dropped when hearing this. He wasn't even sure if his best friends Jinyoung or Jackson knew about this. "One of the biggest idol companies—you know, the ones with idol groups and all that—scouted him during his freshman year, right on our campus. The story about that flew all over school and he became a living legend. Everyone wanted to his friend." "How come you didn't recognize him earlier if he's that well known?" Youngjae asked in a dazed tone, not quite able to wrap his head around all the information he just absorbed. "Are you kidding me? He used to be one of the shortest guys in the class. He had mushroom hair and wore huge glasses every day." "Okay..." Youngjae peered over to the staircase to see if was Jaebum was back or not. He wanted to hear more of the details, wishing he wouldn't be back for another five minutes. "Well, why was he expelled?" "There was this group of seniors that made fun of him a lot, and I guess he was just fed up with him," he explained with a shrug, shaking around his cup. "What did he do?" "He poisoned them." That was the point where Youngjae didn't believe the story anymore. "No, that's stupid—" "He baked them a nice batch of cookies that made them vomit the next day. They told the principal on him," the boy paused in order to snap his fingers, "and just like that, he was gone." Youngjae was speechless, only his eyes blinking as the rest of his body was frozen. He was so confused, mostly because he couldn't believe that someone who seemed genuinely kind like the 'Def Soul' person he knew would do such thing. At the staircase, he could see a glimpse of Jaebum walking up with two cups in his hands. "Are you afraid that he'll do something like that again?" the person asked. "If you are, I don't think you should be. I can tell his attitude has changed a lot since freshman year, and he's probably trying to get a fresh start." Jaebum sat back down in his seat across from the still shocked Youngjae. He waved his hand in front of him, wondering if he was even alive. "Yah, Im Jaebum!" the person smacked his arm out of nowhere. “What—ah, shit," Jaebum cursed under his breath once he realized that that person currently attended pledis, the place of his unforgettable past. "I can't believe it's actually you. hey, i'm mingyu. remember me?" Jaebum's eyes widened as though he was reminded of something unpleasant, but he played it cool and sighed. "Yes, yes, I do. What do you want?" The one sitting across from mingyu tapped his watch, indicating something about time. He nodded his head and hurriedly threw on his jacket, grabbing his things. "Sorry, I would talk more but there's something I have to do." Before he left the table, he leaned down towards Jaebum's ear and whispered softly.

“Don't break that cutie's heart, okay?”

[yakiraaniaisrael-journey]

Be Comfortable With Change

Change

make or become different.    

take or use another instead of.          

the act or instance of making or becoming different.

You ever wonder why, life just happens. We can plan for years, for days, for minutes, for moments. However, it never goes according to plan. We fail to realize that we are not in control of our lives. Yes we put in the effort for things to or not to happen, but the fact that they did or did not happen was not by our doing. They go into effect because The Most High allows it to. Most of us, like myself, are afraid of change. I mean change is scary, but change is necessary. Who am I to stay the same? Who am I to like the same things, I once liked as a child. Even the scripture says:

1 Corinthians 13:11" When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

My biggest fear for change was that if I changed how would others view me. How can I see myself as someone who I never seen myself even becoming. Life is all about evolving. Animals evolve. Caterpillars rest and grow into beautiful butterflies, bears hibernate, snakes shed their skin. Who are we to stay the same? How do we grow, if we do not evolve? We can not. We will not. Stagnate lifestyles, create stagnant behavior, and suppresses depression. You wonder why people walk around so unhappy with blank stares and lifeless eyes.

I vividly remember my birthday a few years ago. I had a big party at a hot club in Washington,DC. I wore a sexy red dress, my best friend brought for me. I partied with my closet friends. We danced, and we danced, and we danced. Care free and yes we had been drinking. Ain't no need to sugar coat the truth right? So on the night of my birthday, I had a hotel room. Of course, any of my girls that needed a place to rest their head, after a night out on the town, could sleep at the hotel.

After dancing it away, well trying to dance it away, as Solange refers to in her hot song "Cranes in the Sky." My girls and I got back to the hotel. I remember this night so well, it is like a reflection of the reminder of where I came from. Anyway... I am sitting on my hotel bed, phone dead, makeup smeared, hair slightly still straight, in my night clothes. I began to have the deepest heart to heart with whoever was up at the time in the room. It was like something hit me, and it hit me hard. I said, I am tired of living like this, we have to get our life together. How dare we party so hard, but can not get up for church on Sundays. I said next year, I am going to change. I am going to be a different person, mark my words. I said its time I let God take control.

This is all recorded, and one day I may post it, just so you know its real.

                    ........I no longer celebrate birthdays........

Fast forward to March. I was headed to Miami with a few friends. The night before, I was in the car, talking to the girls. I again said, "when I get back from this trip I am going to be a different person, let go of somethings and some people". I was madly in love with a certain guy at that time, despite having many options, I only wanted this one guy. I knew he was no good for me, as most women know that certain men are just not our cup of tea, but we chase that tea until we have coffee bag residue. I said to to the girls, "look do not chase a man, matter fact just focus on you, God, and getting your life together".

A few hours later. I was on the plane to Miami. I literally remember being on the plane, mind you I am terrified of planes. So Badu, I did not want a damn window seat. Now if you ask me, sit me by the window please, although I am afraid, I am stronger than that fear! So I am on the plane, glancing with all fear out the window looking at the beauty in which our creator created diligently. I am thinking to myself, because at this time I was very much in the "world" smoking weed, partying, dating, I mean just doing ME (our favorite saying, when are “in the world”, don't even fake). I am on this plane looking out the window in awe, but also in a crushing moment I am like "damn, I ain't living right". I mean everything really is not for everybody, and I was trying to be everybody, ready for everything ( not literally everything, but more than enough things, I was ready). So I have a epiphany, I start praying hard like “Lord, I ain't gonna lie to you I am about to go to Miami and get turned up, but I swear I know I ain't living right and when I get back, its game time, I am literally going M.I.A. after leaving M.I.A”. I am praying and at that time what I thought was repenting for all my wrong doing. I said, "Lord I am done with this dude and when its my time I will wait for you to send me the right one". I also confessed how I had been so wrong , most of my life living for me and not for the Lord. I knew so many things were sin, but again we are damn sure a stubborn rebellious people  ...Isaiah 30:9 “That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the LORD” , so at those moments I did not care, it was always after the fact when I was alone and those sins would hunt me. I felt confined to those sins, like they were a master over me and daily I served them and when I did not I would feel conflicted....  John 8:34 “Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.”

Numbers  32:23"But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out."

Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good."

I mean only person I was running from while in sin was God. That's the only person that can save me, I was headed for a path of self -destruction, as my mother would say when I came home with red eyes, smelling of backwoods, and sin.

On the contrary. I met my husband while in Miami, well I kind of knew my husband for years. But he so effortlessly, slide in my DMS. "It goes down in the DM's." Any who that one message, changed both of our worlds. "I's married now."

But in changing. I stopped smoking, I hung up the gloves for chasing cold tea. I literally vanished from my friends. I found God. I always felt that I knew HIM, but I truthfully found HIM. And it did not take going to church, to find HIM. I did not take me going through somethings, and always getting pulled from under the rug, by some higher power. Truly knowing and loving God, comes with keeping the commandments. Something that most are in such variances about doing so. This change was hard for me, it was not easy, I remember falling a few times, and honestly on somethings I still fall. But All Praises To The Most High because I always found myself, because the fear would hunt me so much that I had to stop.  

John 14:15-21

"If ye love me, keep my commandments.And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him."

Being afraid of changing and beating down that old man is like saying, "God I am good without you."

Romans 6:6 "Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin."

2 Corinthians 5:17 “ Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

What do I have to fear, besides the Lord, why be a laughing stock Sirach 18:31 “If thou givest thy soul the desires that please her, she will make thee a laughingstock to thine enemies that malign thee.”  , when I am royalty, have not our own kind and others laughed at me enough!

Proverbs 1:26-28 "I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:"

I have learned that in changing we are given the will power to either be our own God or follow The Most High.

In my deepest darkest moments I found that being comfortable with change brings you to the LIGHT.

Proverbs 6:23 " For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:"