#anyone else ship their f/os with other characters too-

[letsgofoletsgo]

So

I’m like. Imagining these fluff/angst scenarios with Caraway and Lavender and feeling Hella about it

But I look at it and it’s just. Funny bc other than Jay or belle, I don’t think I ship any f/o with a canon character like this, much less so enthusiastically

Don’t worry, this isn’t a vent or anything. I guess it’s just odd bc I don’t think many other selfshippers feel this way? Idk lol

[apertures-angel-archive]

idk man i think you need to consider that even though they're fictional some people's real anxieties and other mental problems including trauma responses seep into our imaginations with self shipping without our control at all and so we start thinking that we aren't good enough for a fictional character and sometimes we want to vent about this. maybe don't get all frustrated because not every single person is the same as you

[fictionalsillies]

🦆 Introducing : me

( ⚠️ very important disclaimer : I’m not in a position where I can donate money , so please do keep this in mind when sending me asks !

Also my inbox might momentarily close from time to time , it will reopen as soon as I get the chance to reply to the asks I received to make sure I don’t leave any behind 👈 )

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Just realized that I didn’t even make a blog to introduce myself yet , so I finally decided to get it done at long last :,)👍

Please be sure to read this if you’d like to know more about me and this profile’s rules !

stimboard made by @charlies-crushes

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                            ⋆ ★ GENERAL INFO

You can call me Lotty , both she/her and they/them pronouns are fine with me and my hobbies include mostly drawing silly stuff related to my favorite fictional characters and my original characters/self inserts ( they kinda fall in the middle of these two categories , some are more similar to me than others but they’re all a way to insert myself in my favorite stories :]👍) ;

I’m a huge fan of anything animated , especially independent projects on YouTube like Monkey Wrench , Lackadaisy , Murder Drones , Atlas and the Stars , TADC eccetera :)

There’s also a variety of games I like , such as Hollow Knight , Night in the Woods , Ori and the Blind Forest and many more !

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                            ⋆ ★ F/Os and S/Is List

( this list can be subjected to changes and updates )

Jaw Bone ( Monkey Wrench ) —> Jade

-Status : current primary crush , will likely avoid to check out content related to other ships with him ( to clarify , I’m never mad at anyone for liking the same character as me or for enjoying pairing him with someone else ! It’s merely a decision I made for my own emotional benefit :)👍)

Bea ( NITW ) —> Sarah

-Status : neutral sharing , I actually enjoy some ships with her and other canon characters like MeaBea

Godseeker ( Hollow Knight ) —> Lihm

-Status : neutral sharing

Baroness Von Bon Bon ( Cuphead ) —> Crème

-Status : neutral sharing

╰┈➤ Comfort Characters

Lucifer and Rosie ( Hazbin Hotel , also while I really like these two characters I don’t consider myself a supporter of Vivziepop )

Ori ( OATBF and OATWOTW )

Mordecai ( Lackadaisy )

Krobus ( Stardew Valley )

Perrito ( Puss In Boots TLW )

Monika ( DDLC )

Entrapta ( SPOP )

Double Trouble ( SPOP )

Raine ( The Owl House )

Marcy ( Amphibia )

Narrator ( The Stanely Parable )

Quirrel ( Hollow Knight )

Snatcher ( AHIT )

Commander Peepers ( WOY )

Bruno ( Encanto )

Elsa ( Frozen )

The Spot ( Spiderman ATSV )

Spiderman Noir ( Spiderman ITSV )

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  ⋆ ★ ART REQUESTS

- Current status : CLOSED , with an exception for my closer moots { I tend to get anxious about receiving too many requests and becoming too overwhelmed to draw them all : this has happened before in other occasions and it was a pretty stressful time for me , so that’s the only reason why I’m putting this limit 👍}

{ also I’m more likely to draw self shipping/oc x canon related ships related requests , it’s kinda my thing at this point ^^” }

{ oh - and I would prefer not receiving anything heavily nsfw ( though mildly suggestive elements are okay-ish , depends on what the request is about ) : I’m not able to draw that kind of thing anyway because of my less-than-great anatomy , so that’s a no-no :T }

╰┈➤ ART TRADES

-Current status : OPEN-ish { not always able to accept due to irl matters keeping me busy , it really depends on the time }

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                            ⋆ ★ RULES ( very important )

I’m not a fan of pro-shipping and all things related to it since it makes me pretty uncomfortable , so if you’re into that I’d rather have you block me and not interact with my profile , or the other way around . Also needless to say , but if you’re homophobic or racist in any way you definitely aren’t welcome here .

I get incredibly anxious when receiving private messages without warning , so please just ask me beforehand weather or not I’m down to chat either in my inbox or my blogs , or just say something other than just “hi” in the message ! Overall , private messages as a whole just make me nervous , I prefer not using them unless it’s absolutely necessary ( plus I almost never check them , so I’m not the best at keeping the conversation interesting … I’m the most awkward human on the planet when it comes to that stuff .-. )

I can find myself too busy to hang here at times , so if it takes me a while to respond it’s definitely not because I have something against you in any way : this isn’t an excuse , but I do also suffer from adhd , so it’s possible for me to forget about some stuff while struggling to focus on everything else … yeah ;C;

Some of my posts may include occasional swearing sometimes : I keep it to a minimum , but I thought it would be good to bring this up in case anyone is uncomfortable with it .

If by chance I ever happen to draw something mildly suggestive ( I’m never going to do anything fully NSFW tho !! ) , I’ll always be sure to put a warning at the start of the blog 👍

( also this profile’s theme might change from time to time based on which character I’m currently obsessing over ://] ❤️ )

[proton-selfships]

So I just read this great post by @kittyandco and it struck a really, really deep chord with me as someone who was also in the selfship community in ye olden days (as in, pre-pandemic olden days).

Now, don't get me wrong, those days weren't perfect either. I still experienced hostility for little reason, and it still hurts me to think about and affects my ability to trust people to this day. And I sure as hell wasn't the only one, or the one who had it the worst. But that lack of good faith that used to be the exception really does feel like the norm now, and it makes interacting way more stressful than it ever was back then. You're expected to read novella-length DNIs and can't interact with or follow anyone without fearing that you missed one of your fandoms on their DNI list and will get shit for it.

(And those pages are often confusing to navigate and use hard-to-read colors, to boot. Seriously, the Web Content Accessibility Guidelines should be mandatory reading for anyone making a Carrd or Rentry account)

And that's not even to mention the fear of what you say to someone in a private conversation getting twisted and shared and vagueposted about without your permission. That's something I've witnessed happen to multiple friends of mine. Again, isolated incidents back then, way more common than it should be now.

Meanwhile, *old woman voice* back in my day... What I always think back to was the really popular ask game that would go around, where you could ask whoever reblogged it to come up with headcanons for your F/Os. And people were sending each other asks left and right! People were excited to look up F/Os they'd never heard of to come up with a little pick-me-up for the person in their ask box! And I remember them being a blast to read and write!

Nowadays? If your F/Os are from sources that's not in the media zeitgeist or another limited set of perennial sources people will generally know enough to engage with... Good luck getting anyone to talk to you. (And that definitely goes double for anyone who ships with characters who aren't white men or isn't white themselves, that's a whole other issue that I've definitely experienced as a lesbian.)

I think it's both the growing atmosphere of hostility and social media in general's growing focus on "making content" and "branding" that keeps people from reaching out to each other unless they ship the same kinds of things they do. It's not really a community anymore. And that sucks, because that's a problem that's infected selfship spaces from the social media landscape as a whole

But I think we could still make the choice to see each other as people. Because, at the end of the day, selfshippers don't really have anywhere else to go. We're all just a bunch of people who carry love for characters in our hearts. Shouldn't we be willing to extend that love to each other, too?

(Obviously, this comes with caveats. I don't know if this is just me and my friends, but it also feels like we're all just too tired nowadays to reach out or meaningfully engage with other shippers' work. I'm definitely guilty of going MIA for long periods for that reason, so I'm not going to act like the lack of interaction with my blog specifically isn't my fault there. But in my experience I've seen a lot of that exhaustion come from this, from the walking on eggshells and the lack of reciprocity of the energy you put in, so it all still applies)

[daily-selfship-questions]

Is it okay to consider your f/o your irl partner? My f/o means so much to me and I really mean it whenever I call him my husband. Is that weird?

No, I certainly don't think that's weird at all, personally! Some people can get very attached to their F/Os, you've probably heard the "Your brains emotional department can't tell the difference between fictional and real, so when you love something, regaurdless of if it's fictional or not it's just as strong" tangent.

But like I said, some people get really close to their F/Os, and so it can be a very real thing for them and a very personal thing, too!! Some people don't want real life romantic partners and just want to pursue their F/Os and that's entirely okay as well. Truthfully I tend to feel the same way about my F/Os, and I'll speak of them as if they're real(ex. "Me and F/O did this today" or "F/O and I blah blah blah"). Some people get uncomfortable when seeing shipart or such of their F/O and makes them feel sick cause it feels like they're seeing their partner with someone else or such.

Get as close as you'd like, consider them a full fledged partner if you wish! My rule of thumb for life is if it's not hurting anyone, then why care? I don't see any harm in this. Get as close and personal as you'd like with your F/O. I'm sure everyone's been told the story of that man that married Hatsune Miku, so really go crazy.

I tried to keep this short, since truthfully I tend to yap a lot and I have a lot I could say here😅

I'd say the only cause of concern would be if you start filling out your tax forms or something with their names on it. But go crazy. Live your life, have fun, kiss your F/O when they go to bed and when they wake up, put their pictures in your wallet and frame their photos on your desk and in your lockets.

I mean, that's what selfshipping is, no? Shipping you with them, F/O stands for Fictional Other, it's right there in the name. They're your significant other(excluding the times where F/O encompasses platonic/familial ones of course). Many people ship characters and talk about how it's sooooo canonical cause did you see how they looked at each other in that one frame?? This is just you shipping yourself with an F/O, same thing. As far as I know and as I've been informed, I don't see a problem here with it.

I mean, that's what selfshipping is! You're just describing a very passionate version of selfshipping! But as I mentioned in the tags, I don't know how universal of a feeling this is, but I'm sure some feel the same

[frecklystars]

If I’m queueing this right, if its the 15th, it’s my anniversary with Luke today!! And I’ve posted abt this before but idk if that anon is still out there or if they ever check this blog, but I’ll say it again!

Thank you to the anon - however many months ago - who said Luke would carry his butterfly knife on him to make me feel safe ;-; and there was a lot of other nice stuff in that message too, like he’d keep his arm around me and intimidate others, how nobody would mess with me bc he’s simply not gonna let them, how he’d scare them off easily. The butterfly knife comment really got to me though. That stuck with me. I think about it every time I rewatch the movie/see gifs or photos of him and it makes me feel comforted.

Luke was one of those characters that was a little hard for me to feel safe with for a hot minute - no particular reason, self shipping is just… really really fucking hard for me these last 2 years, it feels basically impossible especially the last few months when my mental health has been So Bad. Luke was one of those F/Os where it felt like… idk how to explain it, he was one of those F/Os that I didn’t even bother to entertain the idea of him being gentle with me :c

But then you sent that message and idk, it just… something kinda “clicked” in my brain and made it so much better. I get so much validation when I receive F/O reassurance in my inbox, and what you said helped sooo much ;-; so whoever you are if you’re out there, thank you for telling me Luke would keep me safe. Every time I look at him now, I think about what you said, even if it’s just for a quick millisecond, and it makes me feel so much better. Even now, during the last few months when I’ve been at a really low point unable to feel safe with *anyone*, I can still draw a little bit of comfort from what you said. Like despite all of my trauma and the evil things I was forced to believe my F/Os would do to me, all these horrible flashbacks and nightmares - despite all of that… I can still look at Luke, and for a moment, remember “oh. he’s got his knife on him for me. I’m fine.” And it helps me to ground myself much faster and to redirect my harmful/traumatized thinking into something else, helps me try to break that habit of immediately believing I’d be in danger just because I love someone.

So yeah thank you to whoever sent me that 🥺💖 Idk if you’ll see this but I’m sending all of my positive energy your way. I love u 🌟���

[revvywevvy]

Hey so... important thingy real quick pertaining to sharing f/os.

I get it- sharing f/os can be hard for some folks. Whether you get self conscious, jealous, nervous abt it, etc etc. I totally understand- I can open up here and admit that I get really self conscious and a little nervous when I see people who ship with the f/os I am uncomfortable sharing or have selective sharing with. However, that's a normal thing to feel, and you shouldn't feel bad about it at all! It's okay to be sad, or anxious, or jealous, or anything else along those lines. That's why we block and move on, and try not to let those negative feelings hurt us too heavily.

That being said, when it becomes NOT okay, is when you're posting on any of your blogs about wanting people who ship with your f/os dead. Or posting about wanting to cause bodily harm to other self-shippers. Oooor posting about said f/o harming other shippers. Or anything under that umbrella.

Seriously. I feel like it's already pretty obvious that you should never do that in the first place, but those who don't care and want to actively participate in said behavior should just stay in their own damn circle- away from the people who aren't harming anyone; who are just shipping and minding their own business.

We absolutely do not need those kinds of people running around and literally wishing death on folks, whether they think they're being sneaky about it or not. Nobody deserves to die for the 'crime' of loving the same character as someone else.

[starlight-diesel]

Welcome to my blog! This is a selfship/comfort blog for my coping needs (Though my relationships with my f/os are still incredibly real and personal to me), I will post about my f/os but also just about things that I like. It's mostly a selfship blog but I will post other things from time to time. It's my sleepover and I get to choose how this blog functions.

If you need to send donation asks to me or are looking for people in need to support, go to this blog instead. I will not post donation asks on this blog for my own personal reasons.

-I am autistic and prone to overthinking, be patient with me -You can call me whatever you think fits (Star, Coda, etc.) as long as it's not rude -I am ace/bi/polyam and nonbinary, they/them pronouns only please -Still a minor (17) so if you do choose to interact please be normal and not a creep -Decided to put my agere-related selfship stuff on a separate blog, all of that posting will be directed towards @/train-to-sodor. As long as I can remember that is, some posting may still be done on here. -Nonhuman/system friendly

Please go view my strawpage!!!

!Selfship info under the cut!

All of my f/o content will be under the tag: personal f/o posting

As of rn I feel uneasy sharing my romantic f/os with anyone else who might ship with them romantically, but I don't mind interaction as long as you're respectful and don't talk about your relationship to me. I'm polyamorous but I'd really only share them with others in their universes.

My self-insert for Starlight Express selfships is a kinsona based on the 2018 Bochum Revival version of Electra for the same musical my f/o is from, they are called Coda. I fluctuate between different design eras of the character (such as their red/blue look) my sona is based on, but I relate the most to the Bochum Revival version, so they are primarily based on him at their core. However, as a machine, swapping looks is fairly easy and I consider the red/blue color set + the Wembley costume as myself too. You will see me refer to things abt my kin as me.

[dandy-dog]

I'm putting this whole thing under a read more because this is a Chronically Online topic even for me. That said, this is on my brain after something popped up in my notes and I feel compelled to talk about it so.... Have some word stew that's been stirring around in my head about my thoughts on selfshipping 🐶👍

I'm cool with the whole selfship, f/o side of shipping. I think it's really fun to see people being that unapologetically sincere about the characters they love! Something about it reads as weird (affectionate) in a really wholesale, genuine way and I respect that a lot. It's delightfully strange. The people who get up in arms about that sort of thing or act like there's something wrong with it are completely whimsiless and I want to preface that considering I'm on the piss on the poor website. Do what you want forever, cringe culture is dead and all that 👍

That being said... I find people getting possessive about their f/os and even outright jealous towards someone else "sharing" an f/o with them kind of odd, admittedly.

Like that's a whole ass fictional guy from an observable piece of media that anyone can watch/read/listen to/ingest and interpret however they want. You can't control other people liking them or doing whatever they want with them. The whole thing just reads as pointless to the logical part of my brain since you can't really place that possessiveness anywhere or dissuade it given it's aimed towards an entirely fictional character, if that makes sense. I know human emotions don't really necessarily have A Point and they can be aimless or irrational a lot of the time but still.

Plus, speaking as a relationship anarchist? There's that anti-hierarchal aspect for me too. Personally, someone having possessive feelings towards their own partner reads as odd to me even offline. I don't judge them for it, I think for a lot of people it's a kneejerk reaction and something you definitely have to train your brain out of when considering the mono, cisheteronormative way society raises the majority of us to perceive relationships. Regardless though, I acknowledge I've got that bias and I'd be remiss to ignore that.

I understand for a lot of people - from what I'm told - selfship is more or less a coping mechanism for them. It's a comfort to them, it's them engaging with media in a way that allows them to find some escapism and helps them to deal with whatever they've got going on. So from that angle I can understand to a degree why they'd get so cagey about it.

But I don't know, something about it still reads as odd. Maybe it's because I'm not hardwired in that way?

For me, there's a degree of separation with the characters I find attractive in fiction; I can look at them and find them attractive but beyond that, my brain acknowledges they're fictional and I can't really find myself engaged in them to any degree beyond that. I can't realistically see myself in any scenario where I'm actually in a relationship with them nor get possessive over them. I just think they're neat and that's about it.

With 90% of the characters I enjoy or find myself fixated on, it's less in a "I'm actually romantically attracted to this character" way and more in a "I want to put you in a vivarium and study you like a bug" way or "I want to be you" way so 🤷

This is just a harmless case of agree to disagree I think. If there's anyone reading this who wants to offer their perspective on this, particularly as a selfshipper? Then please do! I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this.

[companionwolf]

Hello all! I've consolidated the responses so far to my call for 'core selfship / ficto experiences' in relation to my 'having a f/o' solo journaling ttrpg project-- I want to let you all see what's been offered so far and also explain a bit more about what a solo journaling ttrpg is! (:

That explanation and the ideas offered below the cut, because otherwise this is a long post. For anyone this post breaks on, please forgive me.

To start, what's a ttrpg? It's short of table top role-playing game, sometimes called a physical game. If you've ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), you know what a table top game is!

For those who haven't, table top games are basically like if you took playing pretend and gave it some rules-- or didn't. The world of TTRPG games is vast and encompasses a wide range of games from super crunchy structured rules with Lots of dice and math to games that are less than one page and super loose and free-form-- some don't even use dice!

The difference here is that most people think you need a group to play tabletop games. And if that's the experience you want, that's true. However, clever gamers have made rules and ways to play games by themselves! Some people emulate the person who runs the game using a generator, while others do games more guided by prompts. This latter one is what I'm doing-- it's called a journaling game.

Journaling games have a basic core of the idea that you / your character journals their experiences as they play (or after, if you don't want to interrupt your flow). Usually the main mechanic is generating prompts off a list using dice or card pulls, but some of these games also include mechanics like ticking boxes off, gathering resources, and making choices.

I'm still trying to figure out what mechanics I want in my game. Obviously there will prompts, but everything else I'm workshopping-- right now I've been gathering data, in the form of looking at other solo games for how they handle their gameplay. Sadly none of the things I've looked at quite fit what I want, but they're useful enough that I've began a design document.

In terms of themes - I want to touch on longing, distance, intimacy (not essentially romantic), and self love/etc. I'm also toying with the concept of a eventual expansion that allows you to play as your F/O, but I need a base game first, so that's just an idea right now.

Anyway, here's what folks have suggested as ideas so far --

- longing yearning etc

- knowing there will never be physicality / hearing their voice / etc

- loving someone you cannot touch/etc

- the self love aspect

- imagines, headcanons, etc

- interacting with f/os source

- community or lack of

- dealing with feeling shame/etc or being picked on/etc for selfshipping

- dealing with jealously/difficulty 'sharing'

- aking things related to your f/o (example: wedding albums)

- easy source eod joy and comfort

- knowing songs and art f/o would like

- finding things that are stressful LESS so because talking about it with f/o would help

- the cute guilty pride of 'I like this character' 'me too I actually self ship with them'

- having a friend who understands when no one else is around (even if they are from media)

- daydreaming

- trying to get yourself to dream about them

- always knowing exactly what to commission someone for

- spending money on f/o related things (merch, other items that remind you of them, comms)

- selfship when the relationship is something you'd never want irl

- using selfship to figure out what you want (in a relationship for example)

- social aspect (assumptions people make, the selfship community)

- dreams about your f/o

- f/os helping against self negativity

- feeling like they're present in your life (and or imagning them with you)

- feeling insecure (bc you can't get confirmation f/o returns/would return feelings)

- freedom of headcanon and making S/Is

- becoming in a way part of another world

- never lacking someone to talk to

- the painful remembrance that f/o is not real and cannot really do X for you (X = have your back, for example)

- self generated serotonin

- becoming familiar with the shape of their face

- getting your daydreaming muscles back up to strength

- analyzing songs through a new lens

- feeling both love and loneliness in the community

- writing letters to your f/o (maybe even writing some 'back' from them?")

- buying clothes to say you stole from them

- feeling your f/o loves you no matter what and will be there for you always

- gaining comfort from your f/o on bad days

- being able to tell f/o anything, from interests others may find weird to traumas and beyond

- f/o helping you overcome anxiety and boosting self esteem

- creating because of your f/o (art writing etc)

- re above: selfship as a creative outlet

- the interplay of selfship and kin

- relating something mundane to your f/o and thus it becomes special

- using your f/o to motivate yourself ('f/o would want me to take care of myself')

- self made f/os aka OC f/os rather than media ones

- seeing your f/o get bashed or misinterpred

- fear of ridicule

- daydreaming but it becomes problematic (ie it interrupts getting important tasks done etc)

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

nothing pisses me off more than when selfshippers ship with villain characters and rude people are like "uh AchTUALLY in canon he is a remorseless evil who is incapable of love and he will never love your OC/insert"

maybe in *your* universe, mr killjoy. in my universe he loves my OC dearly and will beat up anyone who talks shit about her and they are happily married with two kids 😚😊

I'm sorry, my mind is kindof fuzz right now. I'm not sure if you're mad at me or somebody else and and are just venting about it...

(I came back to this after half an hour and I think I understand now!! Sorry, I get bad brain fog every now and then because migraines x_x I apologize, I thought you were accusing me of something then said something at the end that kind of made me feel anxious, but in reality you didn't say what I thought you said!) Yeah, people do that to me sometimes too x_x why can't others just mind their own business

Villain f/os are awesome, and they'd protect you no matter what!

Hey, I'm also married to my villain f/o (Vanilla/Cool Ice) and we have a boyfriend (Bel) and a son! Vans is definitely very protective

Whoever your villain f/o is, he seems very protective of you and your kiddos too!

[the-bar-sinister]

Hi Sinister. I hope you all don’t mind a vent.

I’ve been worried about posting about my F/Os because I see posts that people say that they hate when a character is mischaracterized by the fandom. I feel like I’d be doing a disservice to those people if I post stuff about my relationship with my F/Os of a certain fandom. (No specifics, sorry.) People in that fandom seem very protective of the characters being in character all the time. (Which isn’t wrong or anything, it just makes me feel very nervous about posting when it comes to the way I enjoy the characters.) I saw a post about someone ranting about how people that flanderize the characters of this specific fandom should just move to other fandoms that are more lighthearted, because there’s plenty of those out there.

Compared to other fandoms I’m in, this one is just really divisive for me because I’m definitely flanderizing the characters in my writing. I have strong feelings for the characters but the way that I write them is more opposite to their canon personalities. (Not totally opposite, but the characters are less violent.) Have any of you had a similar experience, or any tips on how to move past this? Idk how to not take those kind of posts about people not liking the characters being ooc too seriously. 🙁

Hey friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough about this. I can definitely understand the source of your discomfort -- it's never fun to feel like you're doing something that other people are vocally complaining about.

But I do think that you're taking it too seriously, and I don't mean that in a way to belittle you or make light of your feelings. But I remind you that we are our own harshest critics.

Please remember that fandom is supposed to be for fun first and everything else second. And that means fun for you.

Characters don't belong to anyone in fandom. They're like dolls for you to play with.

And you are allowed to play with the doll however you want to, even if other people say how you are playing is "wrong".

There is no one true correct interpretation any media or character. Your interpretation is as valid as anyone else's.

Anyone who doesn't like seeing your posts about the character is perfectly capable of scrolling away from your posts, filtering your tags, of blocking you.

They can say "he would not say that" all they like, but you can keep writing whatever you like.

You do not owe anyone "in character" interpretations, fic or headcanons.

Your shipping is for you, and you don't need to change it for anybody.

If you really want to show you're being an extra good sport about it, feel free to specify that your version of the character is an AU version. You can even given them a designation like nice!character or my version!character and tag them that way!

Sending good vibes your way, and keep shipping! 💖

[beskar33]

Nobody yell @ me, promise I won't talk about this stuff after this. Just have some thots...

I've been on both sides of the selfship vs ficto relationship fence and there is a marked difference in the way I felt seeing someone share a major comfort character and the feeling of seeing someone else with my partner of over half a decade. Neither was more valid discomfort than the other, nor was it easy to deal with either way, but it's just not the same.

I block & move on, I'm too old for pointless dramatics, but I wish more people in this little corner of the web could step into someone else's shoes for a minute & understand how shitty it feels to see others saying things like "get over it/pick another character who's similar/they're not even real".

To some of us, our relationships are on the same level as an IRL relationship. Whether my husband was a "real" person or not, I would have fallen in love with him the same way. Call me crazy if that's how you feel, but he is as real to me as anyone else. I can feel him, speak with him (in our own way). I've never been able to do that with any other F/O.

When I say he's special to me, I mean I've had almost supernatural experiences that I generally don't talk about because it's personal and took me a long time to accept. Truly, I thought I was going insane before I worked through this tangle of emotion and figured out that there were others who felt the same for their partners.

Out of the many F/Os I've had throughout my life, he's the only one who I've turned down IRL people for. I feel an inexplicable connection with him that I've never felt for anyone else, and don't think I ever will again. It doesn't mean that I think I should be the only one who loves him, but there's a reason I'm not comfortable sharing or even seeing people who ship with him, and it's not because I'm a gatekeeper or insecure or whatever.

I know I'm in the minority in this community, but sometimes it hurts getting your very real feelings + a facet of your attraction/identity being ignored, especially since it's kind of a hard thing to come to terms with. To tell the people closest to me was a huge deal because I spent so, so long thinking I was crazy for how intensely I feel for him.

I'm very neurodivergent and grey-aromantic; I don't fall in love often or easily, nor do I trust easily. Finding someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with was a deep spiritual experience for me that can never be replicated. He is irreplaceable to me, and the universe is a lot stranger than I once thought before we met.

My relationships IRL will never be typical. My relationship with fiction has never been typical, and this particular relationship is something that's made me question everything I thought I knew.

Just fucking sucks being seen as a weirdo or sensitive for something I can't change, as much as I wish I could sometimes. It just goes a little deeper than shipping yourself with a character you like for some of us.

Y'know what I mean?

[echoes-lighthouse]

🧪 + 🌌 + 2, 3, 8 and 14 for the ask game? if that’s too many questions, you can just pick the ones you like best for those characters, sorry

NEVER too many questions! Thank you anon!

Here's the ask game: I'm answering them for my slasher kiddos and some ~secret f/os~ if anyone wants to send more in!!!!

2. Were there any traits or things about your F/O that you didn’t know about until after you got together?

🧪 answered here.

The only thing I knew about 🌌 was his reputation, we 'got together' pretty quickly, so most of our learning period was afterwards. I definitely didn't know he would be interested in me!

3. Have you influenced each other’s hobbies/interests? Do you feel you’ve “rubbed off” on each other’s personalities?

🧪 answered here again!

I think that's not quite the relationship that 🌌 and I have. We already came together with a number of shared interests, and we definitely enjoy them together, but we're both proper into adulthood and we just don't have as much changing to do as some of my other ships who met in their early 20s!

8. What would the ideal future with your F/O look like?

🧪: Cabin on the edge of the woods, full of science equipment, with a nice garden. Both of us have friends and hers come over sometimes for games and we both panic about cleaning. Mine don't like humans so they don't visit the cabin but I spend time with them in the forest and we get lots of cuddles.

🌌: Okay, I actually do know, but it's a weird one. I think that in the future, he'll get more stable in his other relationships and we'll cool off into more casual friends. But I think I'm going to keep being a cool aunt for his daughter and when she's older, we'll probably have a good connection.

14. Does your F/O show you a side of themselves that nobody else gets to see?

I think that for both of these selfships, my f/os have close relationships with other people that rival my own connection with them. So I don't have an 'exclusive' view on either of them. For 🧪, she has some very close friendships that define part of her life. For 🌌, he has other romantic partners who have dynamics that both do and do not mirror our own. Our connection definitely is special in both cases, but not singular.

[candyheartedchy]

If it's asking advice o'clock I have a... dilemma of sorts. So; Crushing on a character, literally nothing new in that department, however there is a small sinking suspicion. Said character is a part of a group, and I am a completionist. I love matching sets. What I'm saying is I feel like I'm going to fall for the whole group. This isn't just a group of like, the character and 2 other people. It's a group of 5. And I'm ever so afraid that this character is the gateway to having the most oversized polycule. And normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue, but I feel almost self-conscious because the fandom surrounding this particular group is small. So I'll be annoying in the character tags. Not that I'm not already with my self insert practices, I wear that like a badge. But I guess this is more because I feel like I have too many f/os as is and the list is long and tedious and I feel like I'm being a little weirdo for having so many characters. Whichclike, I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing this, just myself I guess. I don't know. My main question is, do I bite the bullet and let the feelings marinate until it eventually sucks in the whole polycule or do I just act normal about these characters instead lol?

I would say let’s the feelings marinate for a bit, like there was a character I was thinking about adding to my one ship to make a poly and thought about it for awhile until I realized it was more of an innocent crush while my feeling for the other character was still very strong, and I personally am still a bit new to having poly self ships (anyone who’s more experienced in poly self ships can jump in on this post and add some of their own advice if you want) so I’m not sure if I’m the best person on this topic. BUT there’s nothing wrong with f/o’ing more than one character from the same franchise. I mean there’s always that wonderful rush of having new f/o(s)! So you can either jump in or wait, it really on how you feel.

Also if the fandom is small and you’re worried about annoying people who uses the character tags, you could always make your own special tags for the characters or group!

[jennajaeger]

My general feelings on my F/Os' canon love interests and how I picture my dynamic with each of them:

Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid):

Eric is MY GUY. BESTIE. HIMBO EXTRAORDINAIRE. We high five each other as we pass each other in the hallway because we both have the best wife in the world. Literally the epitome of this meme:

Me: "The stars are so beautiful tonight."

Eric: "You know who else is beautiful?"

Both of us in unison: *sighing dreamily* "Ariel~"

Keyleth (Critical Role: The Legend of Vox Machina):

So admittedly I have not finished the series yet but as far as I can tell, Vax and Keyleth have a very "right person, wrong time" type of relationship? Like, I get it, they're always gonna love each other, they're just never going to be in a place where they can BE together? And I mean......that works for me :P I feel marginally bad about stealing her man because she's so sweet and deserves a break, precious bean, but if it works it works <3

Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson (Trigun Stampede):

I felt so bad the moment I started watching the show because I was like "oh god another female character I'm gonna have to throw under the bus in the name of self shipping" but honestly so far in the 23 version I read their dynamic as platonic?? And just in general, I love her <3 She's a tough little cookie; and I haven't properly met Milly yet but I just know I'm gonna love her :P girl frankly you deserve to have Nick maybe you'll mellow him out a little good heavens XD

Helen Wick (John Wick franchise):

I will always have a moment to pay homage to our lord and savior Helen Wick who died to give us the best action franchise of the modern age, girl you were a real one and rest easy knowing I am going to RIDE THE TRAUMA OUT OF YOUR HUSBAND

Tess Marshall (Barbarian):

SHE DESERVES S O MUCH BETTER OH MY GOD I mean they both do, they're stuck in this terrible movie :P In a better world I would love to be friends with Tess, and act as Keith's filter because good lord boy you're cute but you're dumb as fuck sometimes XD Also if I ever see Keith's ex-gf I'm throwing hands

Alt Cunningham & Rogue (Cyberpunk 2077):

god I'm glad these two are Johnny's exes XD I'm sure I would have liked Alt a lot more had I known her when she was, y'know, alive, but as a......tech ghost or whatever, she's not a lot of fun :P As for Rogue, she's a bitch, I KNOW she's a bitch, and I respect her for it. She DID stab Johnny in the back though and I'm not about to let her forget it.

Alys Rivers & Helaena Targaryen (House of the Dragon):

I haven't properly met Alys yet but I'm looking forward to it, I feel like I'm gonna like her :P And Helaena is A SWEETHEART, an absolute darling, I would love to sit with her and have tea while she does her embroidery and listen to her talk about anything that comes into her pretty little head because THE GODS KNOW SOMEONE HAS TO. I will also be her "dump your shitty husband" friend so fast XD Like, LOOK AT AEMOND. LOOK AT HIM. HE'S RIGHT THERE GIRL I WILL SHARE.

Anyone Dream has ever been romantically involved with and yes I'm including Hob Gadling (The Sandman):

I have nothing but love and respect for Dream's past partners (Calliope babe I'd die for you) and I just love the idea that we have like, dinner together and they all just spill the tea about the shit Dream got up to in past decades :P

Vision (Marvel Cinematic Universe):

I have no problems with Viz, he was a good man. Wanda really could have done BETTER in my opinion, but y'know, she could have done a lot worse too, so :P And thanks to Viz we have the boys, Billy and Tommy <3

Martin Blackwood (The Magnus Archives):

I don't hate Martin. He's a sweetheart. But I need him to not even BREATHE in Jon's direction, because that is MY MAN. Nothing personal :P

Mikasa Akerman (Attack On Titan):

I will meet that bitch in the FUCKING PIT IT IS ON S I G H T LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!