#answer d: someone else completely
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🌹 tenga una flor, para otra flor 🌹 😳✨
aaaaa hello vivi <333
thank you!!!
let's see what i can come up with that'll make you smile, hmm~
My firefly flickers out. In his place, we have a firebird.
#rose ask game#viapencil#the most fun game to play with this fic#is 'who said that interesting line'#answer a: firefly#answer b: marra#answer c: fae#answer d: someone else completely
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【Go on and Love Me】
୨୧ — ꒰ male!reader | he/his prounouns | Sagau | Genshinimpact
୨୧ — ꒰ Streamer!Reader who gets sidetracked by people's donations/chats making the genshin characters feel jealous
Ft. Xiao, Wanderer, Kinich, Traveler
A/n: inspired by la2yn0va hsr fic
X I A O
(Name) happily smiled at another donation sent to him after recently completing a natlan quest
"Thanks for the 20 bits donation!"
He thanked the chat with a wide smile, the chat which was filled with people commenting every second flooding the entire screen making (Name) shift his focus to answer their questions about himself.
This cute interaction made (Name) feel warm and lovely in the inside, being able to interact with fans who admired him.
You know who wasn't happy? A dark headed male inside a screen wasn't that happy unlike (Name). Why were these people gifting you so low? Most of all why was (Name)'s attention not on him anymore?
He had to pull alot of strings to make his own crit rise up since (Name)'s luck on the Vermilion domain was absolutely dog shit.
(Name) — Hm? My favorite character in genshin?
Xiao — You called?
Xiao unintentionally blurted that out without any thoughts whatsoever, but when he did realize and saw (Name)'s confused face along with the chat going wild.
Without any choice Xiao did his idle animation to hide his face away from you, he used his mask so that Xiao won't face you for a while since he was in a very vulnerable state
(Name) — New mail? Sweet 300 primos!
(Chat) — Fr? I didn't get any new mail from hoyo yet.
(Name) — Well.. Free primos is free primos
If (Name)'s happy then he'll rest easy today. Hopefully no rumors circulate about what happened earlier.. Self aware fanfics are crazy these days.
W A N D E R E R
Wanderer stared at (Name) blankly, he was too busy thanking people with countless of donations to even realize they were still in a boss fight farming material's for upcoming characters.
Wanderer became (Name)'s fan ever since he saw him at that temporary event named 'Unreconciled Stars Event Quest The Crisis Deepens'.
Smug mf since he made (Name) hit hard pity for him. But was kind enough to give you his c1 after 140 wishes
(Chat) — Why don't you change your main (Streamer Name)?
An irk mark appears on Wanderer's face but wasn't that visible on screen.
Is this swine telling (Name) to replace him with someone else? Hard pass. He was already stolen from (Name)'s attention and now these nobody's are trying to persuade him into maining some other weak random than him.
Just so happen that (Name) spotted a chest nearby and happily went over to open it, Wanderer took this opportunity immediately
(Wanderer) — Unnecessary.
(Chat) — Is it just me or is his voice rougher than usual?
Damn right it's rougher since he just wanted to vent his anger out on any enemies on sight
The chat won't know but what he had said was directly targeted at them, if only he could say every insult known to man right now
So (Name), keep your eyes on him only and no one else, then maybe he'll make his attacks stronger if you comply
(Name) — Well to answer your question earlier chat, no I don't think I'll be changing my main anytime soon. Wanderer's pretty fun to play with.
After (Name) finished talking he took a closer look at Wanderer's face, but his eyes swore Wanderer had a tad bit of pink on his cheeks
His eyes must've been starting to break with the amount of streaming his doing
T R A V E L E R
(Name) had just began to prep for his stream of the week and now he was currently adjusting the Traveler's artifacts to try out a new build
You know what's crazy though? His builds are pretty shitty.
He has the absolute worst luck in artifacts plus in leveling up pieces, most of which usually goes to defense or HP%
But he still hits about 800k regularly with the Traveler! How could he do such thing with only 44.6% Crit rate!?
(Chat) — 1 MILLION?? (Name) are you doing hacks?
(Name) — What? No! Guess my Traveler's just really op
The Traveler is a smug motherfucker
Of course the Traveler wouldn't hit such high numbers without using a...slight adjustment to the system
Sure their pieces are pretty bad but they'll accept anything (Name) had given them! How could they just shake off his hard work on griding for their ascension and talents?
Whenever the Traveler sees (Name)'s shocked expression during the massive crit's appearing on his screen they are damn right happy and overjoyed they managed to satisfy their grace!
(Chat) — Your builds are bad af tho lolol
(Chat) — Why main the Traveler? They're a pretty bad character to main, you should go for Nuevillete or Alhaitham.
The Traveler's good mood immediately faded into dust once he saw the chats text
Are those no lifers saying that they're not fit to be (Name)'s vessel? They're the most perfect one!
What could Nuevillete or whatever character have that they don't? Could they switch elements? Don't think so
If they wanted bigger numbers, the Traveler will show them big numbers all right, if you want them to hit 10 million they're gonna make it happen with just one click
(Name) — Thanks for the suggestion chat but I'm going to stick with the Traveler, I'm already wayyy too attached
The Traveler's mood once again took a 360 and smiled softly at what (Name) said to them, their stomachs fluttering with delight
(Name) is attached to them? No other compliment or praise could ever reach what the Traveler was feeling at the very moment
Their grace! Oh their grace... If only they could just grab onto you and drag you here where you rightfully belong
K I N I C H
Kinich is an upcoming playable character but many in the genshin community have fallen head over heels for him
Yet he couldn't careless about them, after all just being near (Name)'s presence even though it's just by the Traveler's vessel already makes him nice and comfortable
(Name) — Day 10 of saving up for Kinich let's goo
(Chat) — Woah already 200 wishes? You're quick man
(Name) — Can't help it lmao, Kinich seems fun to play and he's really pretty!
(Chat) — He seem's boring though
(Chat) — Dude the dialouge is slightly glitching wtf
The dialouge's glitching is caused by Kinich's embarrassment and rage, he was previously just about to talk till he heard (Name) sing praises about him! How could he not accidentally stutter and mess up the dialouge!?
But on the other hand, the hell did that person meant by he was boring? He wasn't even released yet! This caused Kinich to panic mentally if whether or not you'll change your mind about pulling for him
He stared at you from the screen, clenching his fists tighter by the second. Just a small bit more... Just one more step and he'll be released, then he could really be by your side now.
(Name) — Aw man, hold on chat I gotta pause the stream to fix this glitching
(Name) eventually had to exit the game to try and see what the problem was with his device or if it was overheating again
Meanwhile Kinich was still standing there re-adjusting his thoughts about what just happened. His feelings were all a mixed bag at this point, he sighed rubbing his temples slowly
Ajaw eventually came to his side while looking at him weirdly like he had done something wrong
(Ajaw) — Wow.. Just wow
(Kinich) — Shut up...
To rightfully apologized the system eventually sent 10 wishes in (Name)'s game mail which he was confused at first but eh, more wishes for c6 knich!
Once he becomes playable Kinich would definitely spoil (Name) with high numbers and crit's. He would just have to deal with Ajaw's yapping in the meantime..
So don't get distracted over what those 'Chat' people say about him!
A/n: likes and reblogs are appreciated! Have a nice day(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#reader insert#x reader#genshin x male reader#genshin au#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin x reader#x male reader#kinich#Xiao#Traveler#wanderer#yandere genshin impact#genshin cult au#self aware#genshin self aware au#male reader insert#male reader#xiao x reader#aether x reader#lumine x reader#kinich x reader#wanderer x reader#genshin impact x you#self aware genshin
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How To Write Trauma With Humanity
This short post is for those who think that they might be so focused on writing trauma well that they accidentally forget to write an actual character.
As someone who has an "interest" (read: deeply passionate and completely consuming dedication) for psychology and character analysis, I feel like sometimes writers don't really know how to write a character with trauma.
To quote a quote:
Don't Write A Traumatized Character, Write A Character With Trauma
I'm just trying to talk about those situations where the only interesting thing that we ever learn about this character is the fact that they have trauma and that's sad.
People tend to think that PTSD and trauma in general is just:
sit in dark, crying inconsolably about death
have nightmares
hide the fact that you have PTSD with broodiness
try to revenge
die tragically or happy ever after
Remember: Nobody has time for that
These people have obligations, responsibilities, family members, loved ones, and dreams that don't allow for this type of lifestyle.
Many people with PTSD *seem* like standard members of society. They sometimes participate in community activities. They have hobbies and vague interests that they put on their dating profile but don't really care about.
People with PTSD and trauma are interesting REGARDLESS of their trauma and trauma-related bullshit, not because.
If the only thing that's interesting about a character is what something else did to your character, it's not really interesting.
What's their dreams?
What do they like to eat in the morning?
What's their values?
Stop Trying TO ANSWER These Important Questions With:
"don't care :3 trauma will make this character complete :D"
#writing#writeblr#on writing#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writers#writer#writers and poets#writing advice#writing trauma#writing rant#writing community#writing life#trauma
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Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help
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Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.
The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.
Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.
The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.
That social worker.
“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.
“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”
He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”
“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”
Nightingale frowned a little at that.
“Is that what people are saying?”
“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”
“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”
“You wanted to work here.”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.”
Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.
She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?
Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.
“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.
“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”
She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”
Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”
Jason considered her.
Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.
It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.
Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.
For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.
And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.
He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.
“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you��re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”
“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”
Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.
“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”
Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.
“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”
Oh.
Those.
“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”
He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.
“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”
Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.
“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”
Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.
#dpxdc#jazz fen#jason todd#social worker jazz#social worker jazz fenton#anger management ship#anger management#pre anger management#jason todd x jazz fenton#i don't know why i keep writing scenes where Jazz writes resumes to apply to work for crime bosses but it just feels right in my soul okay#the real reason Jason wears a full face helmet is so people can't tell when he utterly fails to hide his emotions about something#the idea of social worker jazz working in crime alley has completely consumed me mind body and soul
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Help Save the World of TTRPGs and Their Creators.
Okay I’m being a little dramatic, but at the same time I’m pretty serious. This is a call to action, and the livelihoods of myself and lots of other people, many of them (like myself) disabled, are depending on it. This is a post about why, what you can do about it, and (perhaps least often answered) how.
This post is actually an accompaniment to another discussion by someone else. If you don’t want to listen to a 90-minute in-depth discussion of much of what I’m about to tell you, you can just keep reading. Otherwise, click here or here and listen to this either before or after you read this post. (They’re the same thing, just different sources.)
If you have ever made or reblogged posts urging people to switch from Google Chrome to Firefox, you should be willing to at least give a try to other TTRPGs besides D&D5e for much the same principle reasons. I’m not telling you you have to hate D&D5e, and I’m not telling you you have to quit D&D5e, I’m just asking you to try some other games. If you don’t like them, and you really want to go back to D&D5e, then go back to D&D5e. But how can you really know you won’t like other games if you have literally never tried them? This post is a post about why and how to try them. If you’re thinking right now that you don’t want to try them, I urge you to look below to see if any of your reasons for not wanting to try them are covered there. Because the monopoly that WotC’s D&D5e has on TTRPGs as a whole is bad for me as a game designer, and it’s bad for you as a game player. It’s even bad for you if you like D&D5e. A fuller discussion of the why and how this is the case can be found in the links above, but it isn’t fully necessary for understanding this post, it’ll just give you a better perspective on it.
If you’re a D&D5e player, I’m sure at some point or another, you’ve been told “play a different game”, and it must get frustrating without the context of why and how. This post is here to give you the why and how.
[The following paragraph has been edited because the original wording made it sound like we think all weird TTRPGs suck.]
Before that though, one more thing to get out of the way. I'm going to level with you. There’s a lot of weird games out there.
You are gonna see a lot of weird TTRPGs when you take the plunge. Many of them try to completely reinvent what a TTRPG even is, and some fail spectacularly, others really do even up doing something very interesting even if they don't end up being what a core TTRPG player wants. But not every indie RPG is a Bladefish, lots and lots of them are more 'traditional' and will feel very familiar to you, I promise. (And you might even find that you like the weird experimental bladefish type ones, these are usually ideal for one-session plays when your usual group can't play your usual game for any reason.)
You're also going to probably see a lot of very bad games, and man have I got some stories of very bad games, but for now I'm just saying to make sure you read the reviews, or go through curators (several of which will be listed below), before you buy.
Now that that is out of the way, I’m going to go down a list of concerns you may have for why not, and then explain the how.
“I don’t want to learn a whole new set of rules after I already spent so much time learning D&D5e.”
Learning a new set of rules is not going to be as hard as you think. Most other TTRPGs aren’t like that. D&D5e is far on the high end of the scale for TTRPGs being hard and time-consuming to learn and play. If you’ve only played D&D5e, it might trick you into thinking that learning any TTRPG is an overwhelmingly time-consuming task, but this is really mostly a D&D5e problem, not a TTRPG problem as a whole.
“D&D5e has all of these extra online tools to help you play it.”
So what? People have been playing TTRPGs without the help of computers for 50 years. To play a well-designed TTRPG you won’t need a computer. Yes, even if you're bad at math. There are some TTRPGs out there that barely even use math.
“I’m too invested in the narrative and characters of my group’s current ongoing D&D5e campaign to switch to something else.”
There are other games, with better design made by better people for less money, that are the same kind of game as D&D5e, that your current characters, lore, and plot will fit right into and do it better. And no, it's not just Pathfinder, there's others.
“I can’t afford to play another TTRPG.”
You probably can. If you’ve only played D&D5e, you might have been made to think that TTRPGs are a very expensive hobby. They aren’t. D&D5e is actually uniquely expensive, costing more than 3x more than the next most expensive TTRPG I can think of right now. Even on the more expensive end, other TTRPG books will cost you no more than $60, most will cost you less than $20, and a whole lot of them are just free. If you somehow still can’t afford another TTRPG, come to the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book club mentioned below, nominate the game, and if it wins the vote we will straight up buy it for you.
(By the way, if you had any of the above concerns about trying other games besides D&D5e, that really makes it sound like you are in a textbook abusive relationship with D&D5e. This is how abusers control their partners, and how empires control their citizens, by teaching you to think that nothing could ever get any better, and even though they treat you bad, the Other will treat you even worse.)
“If I don’t play D&D5e, which TTRPG should I play?”
That’s a pretty limited question to be asking, because there will be no one TTRPG for everything. And no, D&D5e is not the one TTRPG for everything, Hasbro’s marketing team is just lying to you. (Pathfinder and PbtA are not the one system for everything either!) Do you only play one video game or only watch one movie or only read one book? When you finish watching an action movie like Mad Max, and then you want to watch a horror movie, do you just rewind Mad Max and watch it over again but this time you act scared the whole time? No, you watch a different movie. I’m asking you to give the artistic medium of TTRPGs the same respect you would give movies.
“I want to play something besides D&D5e, but my friends won’t play anything else!”
I have several answers to this.
Try showing them this post.
If that doesn’t work: Make them. Put your foot down. This works especially well if you are the DM. Tell them you won’t run another session of D&D5e until they agree to give what you want to do at least one try instead of always doing only what they want to do. This is, like, playing 101. We learned this in kindergarten. If your friend really wants to play something else, you should give their game a try, or you’re not really being a very good friend.
If that doesn’t work, find another group. This doesn’t even mean that you have to leave your existing group. A good place to start would be the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club which will be mentioned and linked below. You can also go to the subreddit of any game you’re interested in and probably meet people there who have the same problem you do and want to put together a group to play something other than D&D5e. You might get along great with these people, you might not, but you won’t know until you try. Just make sure to have a robust “session zero” so everyone is on the same page. This is a good practice for any group but it is especially important for a group made of players you’ve just met.
“I only watch actual plays.”
Then watch actual plays of games that aren’t D&D5e. These podcasts struggle for the same reasons that indie RPGs struggle, because of the brand recognition and brand loyalty D&D5e has, despite their merit. I don’t watch actual plays, or else I would be able to list more of them. So, anyone who does watch actual plays, please help me out by commenting on this post with some non-D&D5e actual plays you like. And please do me a favor and don’t list actual plays that only play one non-D&D5e system, list ones that go through a variety of systems. The first one I can think of is Tiny Table.
“I can just homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e.”
Even though I want to, I’m not going to try and argue that you can’t actually homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e. Instead, I’m going to ask you why you’re buying two $50 rulebooks just to throw away half the pages. In most other good RPGs, you don’t need to change the rules to make them fun, they’re fun right out the box.
“But homebrewing D&D5e into any kind of game is fun! You can homebrew anything out of D&D5e!”
Firstly, I promise that this is not unique to D&D5e. Secondly, then you would probably have more fun homebrewing a system that gives you a better starting point for reaching your goal. Also, what if I told you that there are entire RPG systems out there that are made just for this? There are RPG systems that were designed for the purpose of being a toolbox and set of materials for you to work with to make exactly the game you want to make. Some examples are GURPS, Savage Worlds, Basic RolePlaying, Caltrop Core, and (as much as I loathe it) PbtA.
“I’m not supporting WotC’s monopoly because I pirate all the D&D5e books.”
Then you’re still not supporting the smaller developers that this monopoly is crushing, either.
Now, here’s the how. Because I promise you, there’s not just one, but probably a dozen other RPGs out there that will scratch your exact itch.
Here’s how to find them. This won’t be a comprehensive list because I’ve already been typing this for like 3 hours already. Those reading this, please go ahead and comment more to help fill out the list.
First, I’m gonna plug one of my own major projects, because it’s my post. The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club. It’s a discord server that treats playing TTRPGs like a book club, with the goal of introducing members to a wide variety of games other than D&D5e. RPGs are nominated by members, then we hold a vote to decide what to read and play for a short campaign, then we repeat. There is no financial, time, or schedule investment required to join this book club, I promise it is very schedule-friendly, because we assign people to different groups based of schedule compatibility. You don’t have to play each campaign, or any campaign, you can just read along and participate in discussion that way. And if you can’t afford to buy the rulebook we’re going to be reading, we will make sure you get a PDF of it for free. That is how committed we are to getting non-D&D5e RPGs into people’s hands. Here is an invite link.
Next, there are quite a few tumblr blogs you can follow to get recommendations shown to you frequently.
@indierpgnewsletter
@indie-ttrpg-of-the-day
@theresattrpgforthat
@haveyouplayedthisttrpg
@indiepressrevolution
Plenty of podcasts, journalists, and youtubers out there do in-depth discussions of different systems regularly, a couple I can think of off the top of my head are:
Storyteller Conclave (I’m actually going to be interviewed live on this show on April 10th!)
Seth Skorkowsky
Questing Beast
The Gaming Table
Rascal News
Lastly, you can just go looking. Browse r/rpg, drivethrurpg.com, indie press revolution, and itch.io.
Now, if you really want to support me and my team specifically Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.
If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!
Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!
Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)
We also have merchanise.
#dnd#dnd5e#dnd 5e homebrew#dungeons and dragons#d&d#d&d 5e#dungeons and dragons 5e#dnd 5e#5e#homebrew#dungeons & dragons#critical role#crit role#dimension 20#actual play#matt mercer#wizards of the coast#wotc#hasbro#ttrpgs#ttrpg#ttrpg community#ttrpg tumblr#tabletop#roleplay#roleplaying#roleplaying games#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop role playing game#fantasy rpg
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What if NRC was like a regular college with communal showers? The dingy little cubicles are only separated by the cheap, thin plastic of the shower curtain, not very secure at all, anyone could shove it aside to find yuu naked, dripping wet and completely defenseless. The floor is so slippery, if she tried to run she would only fall and cripple herself further. Trying to keep quiet so no one else showering knows you’re getting pornstar railed just a few feet away. Oooo and vouyerism too. Innocently showering while someone stalker-y like rook, Lilia or jade furiously tug at their dicks imagining you lathering up your body with your signature soap that turns their brain into goop. Or iida watching you through hidden cameras he installed in the shower you regularly use 🤭🤭🤭
>:) imagine a few sneaky students steal your towel or bathrobe, so when you finish showering and you reach for it it's not there. >_< do you make the run from the showers to your room in hopes that no one will catch you, or do you try to ask someone in the showers to borrow their towel?? But then they'll know you're without a towel, and NRC students just love to have others in their debt, especially you since you're the only girl on campus... ;;; you really do hate these communal showers. T_T
And the shower curtains!!! So thin and so easy to pull down or yank aside. Maybe they can see your silhouette against it or your feet peeking out from the little space between floor and curtain, and he's right there with all sorts of naughty ideas in his brain.
Maybe you live on the floor with the Housewarden, and you call for him whenever something happens because he's responsible and will know how to handle these issues, right? But then it depends on which Housewarden you're in direct contact with. ^^;;; Idia is a perverted voyeur. Azul wants to know what you'll do for him in return before he decides to drape his jacket around your shivering, naked body (and you don't miss the way his eyes creep downwards). Malleus doesn't understand. Are you calling for him in this state because you hope to be taken to bed?? :D he can do that!!! Leona is probably the only one willing to knock some sense into his dorm members and (though he'll scoff and grouse) he's always there to answer your call.
Riddle almost slips on the floor and passes out when he sees you naked for the first time because he didn't realize you had nothing to cover yourself with. He's tracking down those troublemakers at once and having them kicked off the floor! >:( Kalim,,,, T_T he'll undress and hop in the shower with you, and then the both of you can share the towel afterwards! Yay for mutual shower time!!! :D Vil is an actor, so he can easily avoid staring at your body as he wraps you up in one of his fluffy, expensive robes. These "pranks" are done in such poor, invasive taste. He'll be sure to lecture the brutes who stole your towel/robe. Perhaps you ought to spend the night with him in the meantime, just to be safe? :)
Shower sex with Floyd....... T_T omg or or or!!! He's just come back from the practice for his respective sport and is so exhausted and tired and just,,, throws open the curtain to your shower because it's the closest one and he doesn't feel like waiting for the water to warm up in the other showers. orz
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I dont know if you write for the Omegaverse..
Because how about a Bully (Alpha) x Nerd Male Reader (Omega) like the two of them dont get the Second Gender until now.. So basically the Bully realise that the Reader is his Fated Mate and dosent want anybody near him, only HIS.. But is really dificult for the Reader to not only Trust him but is also really scared of him..
So Reader first heat is a mess (Like the Bully is constally pound him with meaty d*ck) and the Bully is constally tell him sweet and suductive things to try to calm him down, even tho the Reader is crying because he still scared..
Finally ending with the Reader even more sacred knowing that the Alpha has mated him and posibly '´mark´´ him?
Well, I never have before, but I'll try! Apologies in advance for any mistakes
Yandere Bully Alpha x Nerd Omega Reader
M yan x M reader
TW - Possessiveness, jealousy, implied bullying, NSFW, dubcon
Somehow, since your bully realized you were his fated mate, life only got more difficult. At least you could have friends before! Now he occupied all your attention. If someone made eye contact with you for too long, he considered them a threat.
Honestly, you almost preferred how he acted in the past. Back when he would mock every little thing you did and make your life as hard as he could on purpose. Back when he made you do his homework and beat you up if you refused.
Now, he had you tutor him. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't make you sit on his lap, or if he actually paid attention. He just sat there watching you work and listening to you teach him. He would hurt his face in your neck and breath in your scent, letting his voice fill your ears.
No wonder he always got so jealous when you used to have friends. It was your fault he felt that way, or so he thought. But once he realized you were meant to be his, he realized it was everyone else's fault! They shouldn't be near what's his.
He completely monopolized your time. Whenever you weren't at home, he was making you hang out with him. He'd try to spoil you with things to make up for how he treated you in the past, but that didn't fix it.
He hurt you. He made your life miserable, and he knew he was doing it the whole time. The damage he caused couldn't be fixed by some nice words or gifts.
He just didn't get it. No matter how hard he tried, you always recoiled from his touch. You always got tense when he held you. You never seemed to believe him when he showered you with praises. You didn't like his gifts. What was he doing wrong?
Maybe you liked it better when he was bullying you? So he tried it. He tried being mean to you again. But that only seemed to make it worse! He didn't get it. Why wouldn't you love him?! You were supposed to! He was your fated mate, so you had to love him!
He could only think of one more way to earn your love.
You didn't show up to school one day, which worried him. So of course, like a good mate, he skipped school after the first hour and promptly made his way to your house. He knew where you hid the so are key, so he just let himself in.
And there was a glorious sight awaiting him once he reached your room. There you were, face buried in your pillow, ass up as you stroked your aching cock. Your scent was absolutely overwhelming, and the sight immediately made him hard. You were already in the perfect position for him.
He quietly walked around you, adjusting his pants to let his meaty cock spring free. He'd help you...prove you needed him. Like a good mate.
"You need help there, my mate?" He carefully got behind you, using one hand to spread your ass and the other to line himself up with your needy hole.
You gasped at his raspy voice against your ear. There he was. The last man you wanted to see right now. He'd surely take advantage of your pathetic state.
But at the same time, just one look at his massive cock distracted you, your mind clouded by thought of being fucked.
He didn't let you answer before slowly pushing into you. He had to take it slow, filling you up inch by inch. He didn't want to hurt you. Not yet.
"Shhhh, that's it, you're doing so good." He cooed in your ear as you whined.
Once he thought you were ready, he slowly thrust into you...but it wasn't long before he lost control. How could he not? You felt so good all warm and tight around his thick cock. He was entirely unable to resist the incredible feeling.
He was relentless, stretching you to fit his huge cock without much care for your comfort. Even when tears began to stream down your face, he didn't slow down. He just kissed them away as he continued his harsh thrusts.
You were just crying because you weren't used to feeling this good. Right? That had to be it.
"It'll be okay, you're taking me so well." He hushed you, his breath hot against your skin as he trailed kisses across your jaw.
Your choked moans only enticed him further. He could already feel himself needing to cum. He's never felt such amazing pleasure before. No wonder you were his.
His kisses trailed lower and lower, down your neck, turning harsher. Turning to sucking and gentle nibbling, until he was biting you. He had to mark you of course, and in the most obvious places he could too. You were his. Everyone had to know.
He made sure you were the first to cum, which wasn't hard. Your heat had made you more sensitive. He was enjoying every bit of that. And you deserved to be the one feeling all the pleasure right now.
As you own cum covered your stomach, chest, and the sheets beneath you he couldn't help but praise you more. "What a good boy...I knew you enjoyed this as much as I did. Don't worry, you have your whole heat cycle to get used to me."
He wasn't going to let you feel needy for even a second. He was going to fuck you hard day and night, filling you with his cum, until your heat was over. He was just such a good mate like that.
Again, apologies for any mistakes!
#blarsh writes#yandere x reader#yandere#x reader#anon ask#male yandere#yandere x you#male x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere x reader#x male reader#male reader#male x male#male yandere x you#male yandere x male reader#male y/n
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Part One
Steve’s bedroom door is open. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, pretty much everyone else wedged in here with him. Rob is on the bed too, leaning against him. Jon and Nance are sitting at the bottom. All the kids are sitting on the floor.
Everyone's quiet. Waiting. Straining to hear.
El and Eddie are next door.
And Steve has no fucking idea what the hell is going on.
The gates are all closed. Hawkins is a mess, but within the first twenty four hours there was a big push to start repairs. The government is probably pouring cash on this to tidy it up, clean it up, cover it up; make sure everyone knows it was an earthquake.
Gas main damaged in the quake leaked; if anyone saw anything weird, they’re already convinced it was a hallucination. So there’s that.
Everyone got out of hospital within hours; the worst off was probably Steve himself. His wounds from the bats, from their first run in with Vecna, still hadn't healed and one of them had been growing steadily more infected. He has fresh injuries from this time around; all of them inflicted by Eddie. Steve has two broken ribs, and he sounds like he's been smoking 100 a day for sixty years from where Eddie nearly choked him out. He needed twelve stitches in the nasty gash he picked up on the back of his head, but luckily no concussion this time. He's covered in scratches and bruises, but the hospital were happy to let him go with antibiotics and firm instructions to rest.
Eddie, surprisingly, has a clean bill of health. He was filthy, and the scars were bad but...otherwise, he didn’t have so much as an open scratch on him. Everything healed up completely. Which makes...no sense. Steve literally saw him die.
But that also means while they were preparing...planning...working to take down Vecna...he had Eddie the whole time. Potentially, that was nearly a week. The shock they had all had, seeing Eddie again. Obviously they hadn’t planned for that, hadn't factored it into their plans, and it completely and utterly fucked everything up.
They were done for. They were all going to die, no question. But something happened. Something changed. Steve was convinced he was about to get choked to death by Eddie, or maybe impaled on that ridiculous sword but...no. Eddie had blinked awake. And then he’d cut Vecna’s head clean off...which, unexpected, but still a win.
Eddie had dropped the sword, stumbling along after everyone else to get out before the gates closed on them.
Since then, Eddie's been silent. Going where he's told, stumbling through the examinations, sitting on the periphery of the group, staring into space. He looked broken, even to Steve, who realistically didn't know Eddie that well. Eddie had the vacant stare of someone who's just been though something traumatic.
When Dustin had tried to hug him, even, Eddie had flinched away.
No one tried to touch him after that, giving up talking to him pretty quickly. Eddie wasn't going to answer. Steve could practically watch Dustin getting more and more distressed over the state of Eddie. Everyone was aware; all they could do was sit and watch it happen.
Once they were out of the hospital they could look after him; try and figure out what the fuck was happening.
Eddie had disappeared pretty much the moment he had opportunity. He’d mumbled something about finding a bathroom, pretty much the first words he;d spoken, and as the minutes ticked by, it became increasingly obvious that Eddie wasn't coming back. The hospital was a mess, and they were supposed to wait for Owens.
Obviously the kids weren’t willing to let him out of their sight that fast. Vecna’s done something to him, controlled him somehow, that much is obvious. Just...nobody knows what.
When Owens finally showed, it was done and dusted fast. They confirmed Henry/One was dead. Owens had a lot of other shit to sort out; they were no longer his priority and they knew it. Dustin had been ball of barely contained anxiety the whole time, clearly wanting to track down Eddie but...by some sort of group mutual understanding...no one mentioned Eddie was alive. No one said he'd come back with them.
In the confusion, no one seemed to question it. Owens clearly hadn't bothered to look at the hospital's records, or whatever it was he could do. They left as fast as they could without raising suspicion.
The kids had found Eddie again pretty quickly, more through luck than anything, but finding Eddie sitting on the porch of some random house, nursing a bottle of vodka was...well. Everyone’s got their own coping mechanisms, Steve guesses.
Eddie still hasn’t spoken about what happened, but he was pretty quick to pass out on the spare bed.
El’s got that look on her face when she comes back, like she’s thinking big thoughts.
“Is he okay?” Dustin asks first. Obviously there were concerns. Vecna had Eddie for days, there could be anything in Eddie’s head. What if there’s something...lingering...from Vecna? Could be a risk.
El shakes her head, “he is very sad.”
“Sad about what?” Nancy, this time.
“When Eddie was…” she makes a face, she doesn’t have the words, for a moment, to convey what she wants to say, she puts the fingertips of both hands together, making bars, “Vecna put Eddie’s mind in a cage, he doesn’t remember what his body was doing, I don’t think.”
“So Vecna had him as a kind of puppet? He couldn’t get out of the cage?” Robin clarifies, “that’s good right, he didn’t see himself hurting us?”
El tilts a hand from side to side, “he did not want to leave the cage. Vecna made him…” she purses her lips, “love. He was in love. They had a baby, she grew up, she was going to college.”
“That makes no sense, he was there less than a week?”
“Time is different in dreams.”
“Yeah,” Dustin chimes in, “even if a dream feels long, it actually happens really fast.”
Steve huffs, “right, but he knows now, right, that it wasn’t real? So it doesn’t matter, right?”
“It matters to him,” El tells him so firmly Steve feels like he fucked up, “it was real to him.”
“Steve,” Nancy turns to him, “imagine if you got married, had...I don’t know, six kids and a Winnebago,” Steve winces because, yeah, okay, he might have deserved that, “and you come home after years and years of living that, being happy, only to find out it wasn’t real, how would you feel?”
“It’d be like they died,” Robin says next to him, suddenly gasping and making a pained noise, “oh that’s horrible. Poor Eddie.”
El’s nodding, and everyone else is silent, clearly letting that sink in.
And, yeah, Steve figures...that’s got to be pretty awful.
The kids have gone home, but Nancy, Rob, Jon and Argyle have all stayed. They promised the kids they would watch over Eddie, which wasn’t hard since Eddie’s been asleep pretty much since they got back. Steve doesn’t know if is the most of a bottle of vodka Eddie had downed, or the week he’s had but...he’s still asleep.
They take it in turns to check on him, every half an hour, someone comes up. Just to check.
Steve doesn’t know what woke him, but he needs to piss. Robins passed out next to him, snoring her wheezy little snore. Steve gets up and goes to the bathroom, figures he should check on Eddie.
And Steve finds himself suddenly very awake at the sight of an empty bed and an open window.
They split up, heading for likely places. Nancy, Argyle and Jon pile into Jon’s car, heading for Wayne first and then with a vague plan to work through town on the way back if he’s not there.
Steve and Robin strike out in the opposite direction.
“Lets head for the place the kids found him.”
“You think he would have gone back there?”
Robin shrugs, “why did he go there in the first place?”
“You think it means something to him?” A horrible feeling starting to form in the pit of Steve’s stomach, even as Robin shrugs ‘maybe’ at him.
They can’t see Eddie, but Robin insists they check it out. Steve’s glad Robin has half their brain, because she was dead right. There’s smashed glass on the porch and the door is open; someone has broken in.
Part Three
@autumncrocusandladybug @duckyreads @neonfruitbowl @slv-333 @starlight-archer @skys-archive @justdreamersdream @moomkin77 @prazinos
#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#pre steddie#steddie#ao3 writer#the party#steddie dreamed life
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hi queen 😙
could you please do one where the BAU are staying in another state for a case so they have to stay in a hotel and for some reason hotch has to come see reader in the morning or before bed or something so he knocks on the door of her room and she opens and she’s just standing there with like her hair in two braids and like matching pink pyjamas and hotch just has a little laugh because he’s never seen that side of her before?? 💕💕
this would be like season 1 or 2 hotch :D
cw reader has hair that can be put into two braids
He texts you first but you don't answer. Hotch isn't happy to encroach on your space so early but he can't remember what you said last night about the killer's motivations and he needs to know, desperately, in case this missing piece of the puzzle can stop another young man from being murdered.
"L/N?" he asks, knocking on the door quickly. "Y/N, are you awake?"
There's a definite sleeping groan. Hotch winces at the sound but what else can he do? You'll have to wake up in an hour anyway.
"Y/N? I'm sorry to wake you, but I need to ask you about Cory, last night's victim? You said it seemed more like an arsonist than a murderer, what did you mean by–"
The door swings open. "...that." Hotch stares at you.
You have your hair braided away from your face, strands rocked free and frizzy. More amusing is the baby pink pyjamas you're wearing; adorable little slips of fabric, pants that stop mid-calf and a camisole with soft lace at the chest. Hotch immediately looks back to your face as he realises his once over, but he can't hold back a laugh. A small chuckle, harmless.
"Are you laughing at me?" you ask tiredly, voice croaky but threaded with amusement. "You woke me up, okay? This is your fault. Did you bring me coffee, at least?"
Hotch puts his empty hands up in defeat.
"Come in, then, before someone else sees me."
Hotch follows you inside. He doesn't feel any pressure or awkwardness, but he needs to make sure you aren't either, and so he takes a cross-armed position against the wall. You run your hand down a braid and pull out the elastic, absentminded as you shake out your hair.
"I said it was more like arson because of the mess. Arsons like to ruin things. And I just don't see how it could be solely pleasure based after such a massacre," —you move to the second braid and repeat the process— "the adrenaline runs out eventually, but the blood was– it was everywhere. It would've taken effort. There are photos on my phone if you want to see."
You gibe him your phone, open to photographs you took last night. Hotch clicks through them in disgust. Like you said, it takes a lot of effort to make a crime scene look like this.
"We could be looking for someone with an impulse control disorder," Horch guesses. "Our pool of suspects would completely change. We've been looking for people who have untoward desires centred around teenage boys–"
"But if we're searching for someone who can't control their impulses we could easily be looking at a teenage boy. He'd have reason to be with his victims that wouldn't cause concern."
Hotch finds it very difficult to take you seriously in your pinks. He laughs again, and you know exactly what it is he's laughing at, waving him away as you bend down by your suitcase under the desk. "Go sharpen up, Hotchner. And get me a coffee, please." You glance at him from over your shoulder. "I'd like to see you in your pyjamas."
"I'm sure you would, agent."
Hotch thinks more than he should about you in your thin pyjamas, the way they hugged your thighs and the naked lengths of your arms, your ankles, he's ridiculous, but it's stuff he's not used to seeing. He's usually so focused.
He brings you a coffee and an apology croissant, which you eat in pleased silence beside him, fully dressed, hair tamed. He can't not see you as you were that morning, eyes puffy with tiredness but a hundred times the professional he'd been.
"I can feel you looking at me," you murmur. "Laugh again and I'm telling Gideon."
"Ah, and he'd reprimand me."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" you ask, almost monotone as you drink your coffee. "Do you have the case file for Patrick Gorden? I wanna compare the blood splatter on the walls."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble
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You wanted this
3.1k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 1
When he gives you this look, you know you're fucked - literally.
Warnings: no outbreak au, implied age gap, alcohol, smut: piv sex, rough oral m and f receiving, rimming, choking, D/s dynamic, creampie, pet names, degradation/praise Summary: Joel and you have a fun dynamic going. You provoke him, he punishes you - you both get off. When you meet him after you’ve fucked someone else, he decides to show you who you belong to. It’s all fun and games, right? A/N: Please read the warnings before you continue! You're about to read unadulterated filth. We're headed straight for Whoreville™️ and there's no getting off early (wink wink). We'll see more of these two for sure... Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 🖤 pt. 2 / series masterlist / AO3
“You look hot,” you purr into Joel’s ear. “Expecting someone special?”
He chuckles and turns to look at you with a smirk. “I actually was. But she was too busy flirting with some random guy over there, so now I’m just entertaining myself with a drink.”
He taps the glass and studies your face. You look especially stunning tonight, your skin is glowing and your smile is illuminating the dimly lit bar.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it flirting,” you coo, playing with the straw of your cocktail. Joel raises an eyebrow in amusement.
“Is that right? What else would you call it, darlin’?”
“Trying to explain to him why I left him alone in bed a few days ago and never returned his calls,” you answer while maintaining eye contact.
“Hmm, and why did you?” Joel asks, taking another sip of his drink.
You scoff and shake your head. “None of your business, Miller.” He gives you a knowing smile and nods.
“It’s a shame though.” His deep, sultry voice makes you shiver. “I know how nice it is to wake up next to you.” He puts his hand on your knee, causing your skin to heat up and a familiar ache to grow between your legs.
“You’ve only ever done it once because I was too drunk to go home, so how would you know, hm?” you purr, leaning in to be closer to him.
“So feisty today.” He starts caressing your thigh gently, brushing the hem of your mini dress. “I’m assuming you’re frustrated because you haven’t been fucked right?”
You chuckle and down the rest of your drink. “I dunno, Joel. What would you call not being able to walk for the past three days because he fucked me for hours on end? I’m sure you could still see bite marks on my thighs if you looked closely.” You smirk and open your legs for him to see you’re not wearing any panties.
Joel’s grip on your thigh tightens, his eyes completely black now. “You wanna act like a whore, baby?” he growls and grips your hip with his other hand. “You know I got no problem treating you like one.”
He starts kissing your neck with his warm wet lips, mumbling into your skin how he’s going to enjoy putting you in your place. Your legs are trembling and you’re moaning softly into his ear.
He loves seeing you like this - squirming under his touch, pupils blown, a satisfied smile playing on your lips. All because of him.
“Get up,” he orders, “we’re going.”
---
“Last chance, darlin',” Joel growls, “I ain't gonna be gentle, so get the fuck out now if you can't take it.” Oh, now he did it. He's playing you like a fiddle and you both know it.
“Do your worst, old man,” you bite back, raising an eyebrow at him.
“You’re gonna regret that, sweetheart.” He glowers at you, the darkness in his eyes setting all of your nerves on fire.
He closes the distance between you two in a few strides and towers over you menacingly. You can feel the heat radiating off his body and smell the irresistible scent that is so uniquely him. The ache between your legs is becoming unbearable.
Joel leans in, his left hand pulling you close by your waist, his right hand grabbing the back of your neck, forcing you to meet his gaze.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget you ever even met that asshole. You understand?”
“Yes, sir,” you nod, wetness seeping out of your pussy. You fucking love it when he gets like this.
Joel’s eyes carefully search yours and when he’s satisfied with what he finds, he immediately pulls you close to capture your mouth in a hungry kiss.��He’s greedily sucking and biting at your lips, tangling one hand in your hair and squeezing your ass with the other, wanting to devour you - make you his.
You’re just as eager to give him what he wants, completely pliant under his touch, moaning into his mouth and rubbing yourself on his thigh.
“Fuck,” Joel pants, breaking the kiss and tracing your swollen bottom lip with his thumb.
He looks into your glazed over eyes, mesmerized by the fact that such a stunning creature is submitting to him so willingly. He palms himself over his pants, his cock painfully hard and in desperate need of relief.
“On your knees, baby. Hands on your thighs,” he commands, his gaze never leaving yours while you lower yourself on the floor. “Good girl,” he praises, unzipping his pants and pulling them down together with his boxer briefs just enough to free his heavy cock and balls.
You gasp at the sight, never really getting used to his sheer size, despite having taken him before. You bite your lip and press your thighs together to relieve at least some of the burning ache in your core.
“God, you’re beautiful when you’re desperate for my cock,” Joel murmurs, tilting your chin up and pressing down on your tongue with his thumb. “My beautiful girl. Now, you’re gonna take what I give you, darlin’. I’m not gonna stop, so don’t even try your whining. The only thing I wanna hear is you gagging on my cock, got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.”
Joel positions himself in front of your mouth and taps your lips with the tip of his cock. “Open up, baby, stick your tongue out.” You do just that and Joel hums approvingly.
Holding the base with his right hand, he slides his cock into your warm wet mouth in one single thrust until he’s hitting the back of your throat. “Fuuuck, that’s it, baby,” Joel groans. “I’ve missed your perfect mouth so much.”
You gag and sputter, trying to move your head to relax your throat for a second, but Joel is faster than you, gripping the back of your head with both of his hands, effectively holding you in place.
“Nuh-uh, princess,” he tuts mockingly, “where do you think you’re going, huh?” Your eyes are watering and you feel like you’re choking, but Joel just smirks at you. “Eyes on me, sweetheart. I want you to look at me while I’m fucking your pretty face.” And with that he sets a punishing pace, bucking his hips into your mouth over and over again.
You’re gorgeous - on your knees, reduced to a crying, drooling mess over his cock. Joel's clenching his teeth, every muscle in his body strained while forcing you to take his length.
“You’re doing so well, baby. So perfect for me,” he groans, sending shivers down your spine. Your clit is throbbing and you can feel yourself growing wetter with every second.
When one of Joel’s thrusts hits particularly deep, you instinctively brace your hands against his thighs, trying to push him away. He just laughs at you, tightening his grip on your neck.
“Poor baby,” he scoffs, “not used to my big cock anymore? Why fuck that loser if he doesn’t even do it right, hm?” Your cheeks are burning and you shove at his legs again. “Keep doing that,” Joel chuckles. “you look so cute when you try to fight me.”
He thrusts his hips a few more times before pulling out with a strangled groan and releasing your head. “Don’t wanna come yet,” he mumbles. You’re immediately gasping for air, chest heaving, tears still spilling down from your now closed eyes. Joel scoops up the thick string of saliva that connects his cock with your lips and spreads it on your cheeks. His soft touch doesn’t match the filthy action.
He crouches down so he’s on your level and tilts your head up gently. “Hey, look at me,” he scans your face. “You okay?”
Your eyes meet his concerned gaze. “Yeah, yeah. Just needed a second to breathe,” you reassure him.
He looks at you intently for a moment longer before getting up and motioning to the bed. “Take your clothes and shoes off and lie on your back.”
You get up and pull your dress over your head, take off your heels and sway your hips on your way to Joel’s bed. It smells like him and you hate that you can’t stay and fall asleep here. Pull him close at night, savor his warmth, marvel at his precious sleepy face in the morning.
As soon as you’re lying in the middle of the bed, your head propped up on Joel’s pillows, he walks towards you. “Spread your pretty legs for me, darlin’. I wanna see how wet you got choking on my cock.”
You slowly open your legs while keeping eye contact. Joel sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of your puffy and glistening cunt. He unbuttons his shirt hastily, letting it fall to the floor. “Touch your clit, baby,” he pants, unlacing his shoes and keeping his eyes on you.
You obey and start circling your neglected bundle of nerves with two fingers. A desperate moan escapes your lips as you’re finally able to get some relief. Joel takes off his shoes and pants, staring at you for a second before climbing on the bed and stopping between your legs.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so beautiful.” He slowly traces your legs with his fingertips, enjoying how you writhe under his touch. When he stops just at the apex of your thighs, you whine desperately, only for him to do it again.
“Please touch me, Joel, please,” you whimper, unable to keep your composure anymore. He sits back on his heels and keeps caressing your thighs while you’re continuously drawing circles on your clit.
“D’you fuck him raw?” he asks, grabbing your wrist to halt your movement.
You gaze into his dark eyes and shake your head, “No.”
He nods and starts peppering your thighs with kisses, gripping your hips with his calloused hands.
“Good,” he murmurs, nipping and biting at your soft skin, “‘cause I’m not wearing a goddamn condom with you. Gonna pump you so full of my cum you’ll be leaking me until I fill you up again.”
You whimper at the prospect of feeling Joel’s warm cum deep inside you again and try to shift your hips, so he’ll finally touch you where you most need him.
“Mmm, yeah baby, I like the thought of that, too,” he smirks, his face now hovering right above your wet cunt. “But I really wanna taste you first.” He starts by spreading your lips with his hands, opening you up for him to look at you fully exposed.
“Fuck me, sweetheart,” he groans, “you have the cutest little pussy I’ve ever seen.” He draws the hood of your clit back with his right thumb, keeping your lips spread with his left middle and index finger. You mewl at the sensation, spurring him on to finally latch his lips onto your yearning clit, sucking eagerly before licking a broad stripe from your asshole up to your wet slit.
“Oh fuuuck!” you cry out, clawing at the sheets when he repeats the motion with his tongue, now also circling your clit with his thumb.
“Mmm, you taste divine, darlin’.” He slides two fingers inside your warm cunt, pumping them in and out of you steadily. The squelching sounds from your pussy mixed with the sound of your breathy moans are making Joel dizzy.
Right when he feels your walls starting to clamp down around his fingers, he stops his movements. “Turn around for me, baby. Ass up face down,” he orders, sitting back on his heels to watch you get into position.
“Good girl,” he purrs, “being so good for me, doing everything I say”. He caresses your ass cheeks and the backs of your thighs before dragging his nose through your wet folds, inhaling your intoxicating scent. Your whole body shivers at the sensation.
Joel starts sucking on your clit again while fucking you with two of his thick fingers. You clench around him, the way he’s rhythmically pumping his fingers in and out of you almost enough to send you over the edge right then.
“Fuck, baby, so sensitive today,” Joel teases, licking from your clit up to your asshole. He starts lapping at the tight ring eagerly, reducing you to a whimpering, trembling mess when he dips his tongue inside of you repeatedly. “Mmm, I love the pretty little sounds you make for me,” he groans, wiping his mouth and chin with his forearm.
He spreads your cheeks and looks at your exposed holes in awe. You look absolutely delicious and Joel wants nothing more than to bury himself as deep inside you as possible. He laps your juices up thirstily, the vibrations from his moans sending shockwaves through your whole body. His throbbing cock is leaking precum, screaming for attention.
“I need to fuck you, baby” Joel hisses, manhandling you onto your back. He’s on you in an instant, kissing you hungrily, his hand gripping your jaw.
You squirm underneath him, tilting your pelvis to gain some friction. “Please, Joel, please fuck me.”
He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he finally aligns his tip with your core and pushes his cock into your wet hole in one quick thrust. You gasp at the intense sensation of him splitting you open, not allowing you any time to adjust to his size.
“Oh fuck, baby, your cunt is gripping me so hard I can barely move,” Joel moans breathlessly, rolling his hips to pump his cock inside of you again and again.
His pelvis puts delicious pressure on your swollen clit and you start to push against his thrusts to chase your high. Joel grabs your legs and puts them over his shoulders, kissing and biting your calves until you scream. The new angle allows him to hit a spot deep inside you that has you quivering and shaking, bringing you closer to your orgasm with each powerful thrust of his hips.
“Oh fuck, Joel, you feel so fucking good,” you moan, throwing your head back and curling your toes. He grins, reaching around your legs to grab your soft tits with his hands. He massages them roughly, tweaking your nipples until you cry out in pain.
“You’re so perfect for me,” Joel pants, mesmerized by the way your body moves under him. “My perfect little slut.”
Your cunt involuntarily clenches around him and you can’t hold back the needy moan that escapes your lips.
“Oh, the princess likes that, huh” Joel teases. “Likes when I call her my little slut?” You furrow your brow and nod at him. “Mmm I like it, too,” he groans while continuing to snap his hips at an unrelenting pace. “Always want you to be my slut. Mine.”
You can feel your orgasm approaching fast, the combination of Joel’s cock and possessiveness hitting all the right spots in your cunt and mind.
“Fuck, baby, your pussy’s choking the fuck outta me,” he chuckles, burying his face in the crook of your neck, sucking and biting at the delicate skin. You cry out from the overwhelming mix of sensations and Joel answers you by putting his hand around your neck, expertly shutting you up without cutting off your air supply.
“Stop being a brat if you can’t take the consequences, baby,” Joel murmurs, his face hovering above yours, an amused smile playing on his lips.
You glare at him, but he quickly disarms you by leaning down and kissing you passionately. You wrap your legs around his waist and dig your nails into his back. Your skin is on fire and you have zero control left over your body.
It’s all his.
He puts your left leg over his shoulder again, splitting you open even more. The volume of your desperate moans increases as Joel keeps fucking your pussy with abandon.
“Fuck, that the spot baby?” he pants.
“Yeah,” you whimper, “please don’t stop.”
“Look at me.” He grabs the side of your neck and rubs your cheek with his thumb. “Tell me your mine.” He looks at you with wild eyes, sweat glistening on his skin.
“Yes, Joel, fuck I- I’m yours. Fuck, keep going,” you whine, the tension in your core so close to snapping.
“I got you, baby. Let go for me, I wanna feel you,” Joel encourages you, chasing his own high deep inside you.
“Oooh, Joel, I’m gonna come,” you sob as your walls spasm and contract around his cock, shockwaves of pleasure gripping your whole body and blurring your vision. You’re convulsing in ecstasy, not knowing where your body ends and Joel’s begins.
In this moment right now, you’re one.
“F-Fuck!” Joel comes so hard his final thrust pushes your body up the bed. He spills himself deep inside you, your pulsing pussy milking every last drop of his cum. He collapses onto you with a strangled groan, panting heavily.
“Fuck, darlin’, you tryna kill me or something?”
You giggle and start drawing shapes on his back with your fingers. Joel kisses your neck and hums contentedly, making sure his cock stays buried inside of you for as long as possible.
---
“Are you gonna be good from now on, hm?” He nudges your cheek with his nose. You turn to face him and look into his eyes.
“No, sir.”
He chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Good girl.”
You press a soft kiss on his lips before turning around and getting up. You put your dress and heels back on and walk over to the bathroom.
“You don’t need to leave, you know,” you hear him say from behind you. You sigh and flick the light on.
“I can’t stay, Joel.” You look into the bathroom mirror and quickly comb through your hair with your fingers. Your makeup is smudged, but it’s dark out so you don’t care.
“We could order from that Indian place you like and watch Heat again. Besides, it’s getting late,” he murmurs, looking at you with his big puppy eyes.
You smile at him, but don’t answer. He nods slowly and gets up from the bed to lead you to the front door.
“Okay, sweetheart. But text me when you get home, alright?”
“I will.”
He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“See you around, darlin’.”
---
next part || series masterlist ||Joel masterlist
#fwb!joel miller x f!reader#fwb!joel miller#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller tlou#the last of us#the last of us au#joel miller au#fanfic#tlou hbo#dark hair and sad eyes#pedro pascal characters#joel tlou#dom!joel miller#joel miller smut
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Behind Locked Doors
Synopsis: After a rare bad day leaves the usually cheerful and outgoing reader hiding away in their shared room, Law uses his powers to get inside, only to find them struggling with their emotions. Concerned and out of his element, Law awkwardly makes a fool of himself in an attempt to cheer them up, showing a softer, more vulnerable side to his usually stoic demeanor.
It had been a rough day. You weren’t even sure what had triggered it, but by the time the day ended, all you wanted was to hide away in your shared room. Normally, your bright and outgoing personality filled the corridors of the Polar Tang, lifting the spirits of everyone aboard. You were the cheerful heartbeat of the crew, always knowing just how to make someone laugh or turn a bad day around. But today, you couldn’t even muster the energy to put on a smile for yourself.
Shutting the door behind you, you locked it and collapsed on the bed. Tugging a pillow over your face, you groaned into it, wishing the world would just disappear for a while. It wasn’t like you to shut down like this, and part of you felt guilty for not being your usual self. Still, something deep inside weighed you down, and you couldn’t quite shake it.
After some time passed, you heard the sound of footsteps approaching. It wasn’t surprising when Law's voice came from the other side of the door. “[Name]? Are you in there?” His tone was neutral, as always, but you could detect a hint of concern.
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. The weight on your chest felt too heavy, and even responding seemed like too much effort.
You heard the jiggling of the door handle as Law attempted to open it. When he realized it was locked, there was a pause, followed by the faintest of sighs.
"Room."
In an instant, the telltale sound of his ability activating reached your ears, and before you knew it, Trafalgar D. Water Law appeared in the room with you. His sharp eyes immediately swept over the scene—your form curled up on the bed, the pillow partially obscuring your face, and the heavy atmosphere in the room. His brows knitted together in worry.
"[Name]..." He moved closer, kneeling by the bed. "What’s going on? Why didn’t you answer?"
You groaned softly but didn’t lift the pillow. "I’m fine, Law. Just… not feeling great today. Can you go?"
"Not feeling great?" he repeated, skepticism clear in his voice. "You're never like this. You always try to cheer up everyone else, but now you're hiding in here, not telling me what’s wrong?" His voice softened at the end, filled with a kind of concern that he didn’t always express so openly.
Law wasn’t great at emotions. He was all about logic, plans, and cool-headedness, but when it came to you, there was a different side of him that few got to see. He cared, even if he didn’t always know how to show it.
"Seriously, it’s nothing. Just a bad day." You shifted the pillow slightly, your voice coming out muffled.
Law stared at you for a moment, frustration bubbling up inside him. He hated seeing you like this—someone so full of life, suddenly dimmed. He wasn’t going to let you stay like that.
Suddenly, without a word, he stood up. You peeked out from under the pillow, watching as Law walked over to the far side of the room. He started rummaging through a nearby cabinet, pulling out random objects. A stethoscope, a chart, a spare hat. Then he started to... juggle?
You blinked in disbelief. Law—Trafalgar D. Water Law, the stern and serious captain of the Heart Pirates—was attempting to juggle three completely random items in the air, and he was terrible at it. The stethoscope flopped down almost immediately, the hat following close behind, and Law’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. He grabbed the hat and put it on his head at a jaunty angle, looking at you with an exaggeratedly serious expression.
It was absurd. You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your lips.
Noticing the sound, Law raised an eyebrow. "That wasn’t supposed to happen," he said, still juggling the remaining items with little success.
You chuckled again, the weight on your chest starting to lift slightly. "What are you doing?"
He gave you a deadpan look, tossing the items to the floor and crossing his arms. "Obviously, I’m trying to be an idiot to get you to laugh. I’m not exactly used to cheering people up in the traditional sense, but you’re going to have to deal with this."
You smiled, the corners of your mouth tugging up despite the lingering sadness. Law's awkward attempt at comedy was endearing in its own way, especially coming from someone as stoic as him. You could see how hard he was trying for you, and it warmed your heart.
"Okay, okay," you said softly, pushing the pillow aside and sitting up a little. "You’re definitely making me feel better."
Law moved closer again, sitting on the edge of the bed this time. He rested a hand on your shoulder, his expression softening. "You don’t always have to be the one cheering everyone else up, [Name]. Sometimes, you need to let others take care of you too."
The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten, but in a good way. You nodded, finally allowing yourself to lean into him. "Thanks, Law," you murmured.
He let out a small, relieved breath, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer. "Anytime. Just... don't lock the door next time. I don't want to have to teleport in every time you need me."
You snorted softly, resting your head against his shoulder. "Deal."
And for the first time that day, you felt a little lighter, knowing that even in your darkest moments, Law would always be there to make a fool out of himself just to see you smile.
.
.
.
Masterlist
#law x reader#trafalgar law x reader#trafalgar law#trafalgar one piece#trafalgar d law x reader#one piece#one piece x reader
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sebby x transmasc reader headcanons? i'm feeling self indulgent today >:)
Whoo, Yeah! I'm finally getting to answer this one! I personally have little to no gender at any point in time, and my lovely Co-Star has all of the gender and fluctuates fairly regularly between the shiny genders they've collected. So this is written from the shared trans braincell, gotta support the homies ✨
(Hope you have a wonderful day!)
Sebastian Solace x Transmasc Reader
[Warnings: Transphobia and misgendering (neither one from Sebby) and mentions of Dysphoria]
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜
• Honestly, this fish bastard couldn't care less
• Your gender, job, and species are COMPLETELY irrelevant to him, the ONLY thing he really cares about is whether or not you are going to buy his stuff
• His gender? Shopkeeper. Now give him your data-
• If it's not addressed, you are literally just another man that Urbanshade sent on a suicide mission, he really doesn't care what is or is not in your boxers
• Can't stress enough that he's ONLY supportive when you or someone else brings it up, Sebby never pushes the topic. If you didn't know you told him or that he found out, you'd honestly think he didn't know
• Now, are there ways this becomes relevant to him? No, absolutely not, you are just another guy that's going to buy an expensive flashlight and then die several terrible deaths.
• It's not until one of the other expendables starts to misgender you that he even seems to notice
• "She? I don't particularly see any women in my shop at the moment- If you're sick I'm going to have to ask you to leave so we don't catch whatever nasty thing you have."
• "I think you meant 'Him', as in 'I am going to hand Him my gun and look away when He makes you a stain on my tile'. Do you understand me, expendable?"
• "It's funny hearing someone only packing 3 inches try to decide what is and isn't a man. I think we all know his is bigger than yours is, so if you could shut up about it that would be great."
• Sometimes he's more sassy, sometimes more outwardly aggressive, and occasionally he tells someone off in a way that's a bit more on the side of entertaining, but he does always make a point to stick up for you
• If you need your hair cut, he'll do it. He cuts his own hair and has for the last decade, so he's actually pretty good at it! Better at messy styles, but he'll try a clean one if you really want him to
• "If you die because your hair is in your eyes, I won't get your data. You must understand this is to my own benefit, Y/N."
• Sebastian is... Starting to call you by your name. You're not sure when you stopped being an expendable like everyone else and started being the name you actually chose for yourself, but you've surely become different to him
• Sebastian was born a man, and handles issues regarding your situation completely casually unless it 100% HAS to be verbally brought up, so you are left completely confused by what you did to get closer to him like this
• Was it somewhere between him validating you or defending you? Was it when he sat with you for the first or third time while you were wrestling your disphoria? Was it trust, or maybe pity... It couldn't be pity, right?
• One day you'll find out he's sees himself in you
• He says it like a joke when he starts to talk about how they treat you differently when they don't understand you. Researchers treated him the same way a handful of the other people down here treat you.
• He knows it's not quite the same, but it feels the same for him sometimes. When they call him 'it' instead of he... Sometimes he calls himself an 'it' or a 'thing', too even though he knows he hates that. Do you feel that way when they call you a she? He'll just go ahead and start banning those people for you both, he doesn't like them anyway.
• He isn't comfortable in his own body anymore either. He didn't choose what he is now the same way you didn't choose what you were born as
• Sometimes, his body doesn't fit right, either. He hates that he understands that feeling, but he does...
• He's starting to get comfortable with that familiarity, and with maybe not feeling so alone
• Is it wrong of him to enjoy having found someone he can relate to? If even just a little?
• Sebastian knows it's probably awful of him, but he's making a point to be good to you for it
• It makes himself feel better for a while when you can connect like that so naturally...
• It makes him feel human again.
#Sebastian Solace#Sebastian#Sebastian Pressure#Pressure Sebastian#Pressure#Pressure Roblox#Roblox Pressure#Reader#x Reader#Reader insert#Player#x Player#Player Insert#You#x You#You insert#Sebastian Solace x Reader#Sebastian Solace x Player#Sebastian Solace x You#Fanfiction#Fanfic#Sebastian Solace ask box#Ask Box#Monster fucker#Romance#Fandom#Fish Man#Sebastian Shoelace#Writing#transmasc
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not about love. (part 4 & final)
read: part one || part two || part three
pairing: college loser!ellie williams x fem!reader
synopsis: after ellie kisses someone else, you run. then, you run again. at the end? she finally fucking chases you.
warnings: some miscommunication, slight angst, alcohol & weed, mentions of homophobia (d slur), smut (mdni), oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), scissoring, top!ellie, bottom!reader, panties kink (?), mentions of strap, first time w ellie, love love love <3
authors note: i had so much fun writing this. i hope you guys like it. i’m still thinking about a short part five, but well see how it goes ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖
𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:
"(The Party & The After Party -The Weeknd)"
01:23 ━━━━●───── 03:43
ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ
---˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹---
it's funny, how guilt begins with a subtle tickle. it's delicate at first, ignited like a gentle caress down her throat. it is not like jealousy, that dawns on you with a thud right inside. for her, for ellie, it's almost like a whisper. it glides down her body, maneuvers its way around, and then it lands inside the pit of her stomach, making it churn, toss and twist from the insides out, like an ever erupting ticking bomb.
she shouldn't have kissed that girl, that, she knew. the answer to why, she truly doesn't know— don't ask her no stupid questions. she knew it was wrong when she slid her tongue down her throat, knew it was wrong when she took the back of her neck into her palm, and felt how wrong it was when she looked deep into her eyes, panting, with a ruby blush creeping up on her cheeks. it wasn't because you left, god knows she would have felt how wrong it was even if you didn't, but alas, you did. you did leave. and that's why right at this second— her brain was fuzzy, knuckles colored white, legs moving faster and faster with no control.
truly, what ellie did wasn't wrong, neither was it selfish. you weren't a couple, she didn't belong to you, and neither you to her. she was a free woman, and so were you. and yet, your imaginations told a completely different tale. the truest colors of your thoughts— ready to erupt and spill out of you as if tomorrow never came.
she must have bumped into at least twenty sweaty, inebriated bodies. the outside world seemed to move and twist in a blur, but her mind moved oh so slowly. it was as if walking to the bathroom, took her over two hours. in reality, it took exactly three minutes, until she bumped into one extraordinarily tall man.
he rocked a bleach blonde buzz cut, a red bandana on his forehead, and ridiculously tiny sunglasses.
"yo— williams!" he declared, stopping her right in her tracks. she looked up to face him, and he was much, much taller.
"dude, look" he said, pointing right at her face, grabbing the attention of his ridiculous looking, slightly shorter pal.
"that's the girl alison likes!" he shouted, and she could feel the beer stench creeping up in her nostrils, making them twist.
"bro, you must be something special, she almost bribed the shit out of kyle just to make you kiss her"
ellie looked around the corridor, her eyes darting from his face to the floor. people... want to kiss her? it made her feel proud, inflating her ego and making it swell hard in her chest. a second later, it completely wore off. she didn't give a fuck about people— not about most of them.
"yeah, hey dude" she huffed, her lips curling up to a shy smile.
"so tell me, williams— did you scissor on the floor?" he interrogated.
"really gotta go to the bathroom" she voiced.
"no dude, wait... let me ask, i’m fucking interested" he uttered, blocking her path and leaning against the cream-colored wall with his arm.
"do lesbians actually fucking scissor?" his shorter friend questioned.
ellie always had a short temper. it would creep up on her when she least expected it, jolting inside of her brain and making the vein on her forehead pop. lately, she's been listening to some guided meditation on youtube. angela, was the name of the lady who's gentle voice she would listen to every once in a while. "deep breath in, and let it out... think of the rain, pouring and pouring, tickling down your window... and let yourself breatheee..." ellie took a deep breath in, and exhaled.
"y'all should send me a video when you're done fucking"
yeah, fuck angela.
"move out of the fucking way man, i gotta piss" she raised her tone slightly. maybe angela's voice still rung in her ears, because she didn't even consider punching him in the face.
"not fucking moving, williams— c'mon, we wanna fucking know all about it"
ellie might have been shorter by several inches, but god knows she was much stronger. with a firm grip on his bicep, she exerted her power and effortlessly tossed him to the side.
"fucking dyke" he snickered.
"die asshole" she uttered, and flipped him off.
the bathroom seemed to be closer, and her pacing was steadier. she was going to talk to you, that's it.
she opened the door, and exhaled. she didn't even know she had been holding her breath. the coppery scent of cigarettes, and overwhelmingly sweet, citrusy bathroom incense tickled at her nose. four women stood in front of the broken mirror. a blonde one, a brunette, one with braids, and one with a big cap on her head. they either giggled at each other, or to themselves, ellie truly didn't care.
"is there anyone in the stalls?" she questioned in a low voice. they clearly couldn't hear, her words barely audible over the overwhelming music that blared from outside.
she cleared her throat, and tried again.
"are the stalls empty?"
the brunette turned around to face her, a radiant smile spreading across her face, revealing a row of gleaming teeth.
"i dunno" she huffed, and turned around to face the friend by her side.
"but you can—" she stifled a giggle, and then it erupted.
"piss on the floor" she quipped, earning herself the symphony of her friend's breathless, intoxicated laughter.
"great" ellie muttered under her breath. just great.
she turned around to face the stalls, and began.
one knock, two knocks— she felt that guilt twisting in her stomach again.
fuck it, she fully banged on the door. those girls left, after they side eyed her shameless, and walked off. if you were anywhere to be found in that bathroom, it was just the two of you now.
she propelled her foot forward at the door, it swung open, propelled by the force, creating a resounding bang against the wall, echoing twice. the air caressed her face, and she shivered. It was not the chill of the room that caused her tremor. what if you weren't there? what if you left?
the third stall's door she kicked as well, and she couldn't hide her disappointment anymore.
"fuck" she hissed.
the fourth one must be empty as well. she didn't exactly believe in luck. she kicked it, the door budged slightly, but it didn't fly open. it was locked.
you lifted your legs up to meet your chin, holding yourself together in a hug. you felt absolutely embarrassed. you knew you didn't have any right to get like this. the tears swelling up in your eyes and the mascara running all over your cheeks, clinging itself to the delicate skin, making it itch and burn had no right to even exist. she didn't belong to you.
she knocked on the door again.
"you in there?" she croaked. did you hear the guilt lacing her words? it was buried inside of her stomach, after all.
"no... i mean— fuck" you sniffled, bumping your palm on your forehead. "no?" really?
"open the door" she uttered.
silence.
"please?"
you wiped the tears from your eyes, and grabbed a piece of toilet paper to wipe the mascara running profusely, leaving dark, messy spots on your cheeks.
"i’m peeing, ellie— go away"
"no you're not, open the door"
she must have heard you sniff away your snot gathering on the tip of your nostrils.
"i just wanna talk" she quietly said, her voice just above a whisper. ellie stood there, her arm steady on the door, waiting for you to let her in.
"dont wanna" *sniff* "talk"
she took a deep breath. "im not moving. i could stay here all night" you knew she could.
"well..." *sniff* "so can i" you hiccuped.
"cool"
"cool" you repeated.
ellie turned her back away from the door, and leaned against it. three whole minutes of absolute silence had passed, neither of you talking, but so much left unsaid. when the image of ellie kissing that girl flashed inside of your brain, hitting you like a lighting bolt, you giggled to yourself.
"what's so funny?" she questioned, crossing her arms.
"shouldn't you be with your new girlfriend?"
that was it for you. no more hiding. if hurt was the main feeling your heart held just five minutes ago, it mixed around with the tangy, salty taste of jealousy now, laced with the spiciness of anger. you twisted the doorknob, and let it fly open, bumping against ellie's back, making her jump to the other side.
you truly couldn't care if she knew you were crying. what's the point of hiding anymore? who gives a fuck. perhaps— it was sudden wind of courage washing over you. most likely— it was the plastic cup filled with cheap vodka cranberry emptying out inside of your stomach. you placed the cup on the sink, and washed your hands. you didn't even glance at ellie, who stared at you in disbelief.
"what the fuck are you talking about?" she probed, her arms slapping down on her thighs.
"alison, duh"
ellie swallowed deeply.
"or arielle or... whatever the hell her name is" you glanced at yourself in the mirror, you looked like a mess. ellie thought you looked beautiful, she wanted to tell you the moment you came out of the building.
she didn't even know what to say, her eyes staring at the floor, attempting to keep it together.
"was the kiss nice?" you wiped your hand on your skirt.
"it looked nice. so hot!" you nudged her shoulder. every single word that came out of your mouth sounded like you had just run a marathon. they flowed out quick, and even the dumbest person alive would know you were talking out of pure jealousy. maybe ellie was even dumber than him.
"what's gotten into you?" she muttered.
"nothing! happy my best friend's gonna get finally ged laid.. god knows you needed it, el" you patted her head. oh, you were done for.
ellie's eyebrows rose. deep, deep breaths. she stood mute, letting you finish your little speech.
it was as if someone pinned up the apple's of your cheeks together and forced you to smile.
"how long has it been since you fucked?" you tilted your head. you didn't make eye contact, you just stared right between her eyebrows. if you looked at her, you'd have probably burst crying.
"let alone... kissed somebody"
ellies tongue brushed the side of her mouth, and her jaw clenched.
"why are you asking me this?"
you averted your gaze to the side, your breath caged in your throat.
"because were best friends, and best friends talk about these thing! and... you really needed to fucking get some pu—"
she moved closer. you couldn't not face her now. you looked into her eyes and god it fucking hurt. there it was again. dont cry, dont fucking cry.
"how long..." it was as if her eyes were chasing yours. look at me, look at me. "has it been for you?"
your entire face felt like it was fucking itching. your nails dug little crescent moons into your palms. her breath tickled your nose and you swore, you've never been this close to her. you tried focusing on her freckles, counting them inside of your mind, pretending to connect the dots in a thin line. it hurt knowing that she must have seen them this close up too.
"this isn't about me, so" you whispered. you wanted to sound assertive, and aggressive, but you failed miserably. you just sounded ridiculous and sad.
"i think it is" she whispered, too. matching you completely. her lips were so plump and they felt so close and—
"why did you cry?"
"i did not cry" is it really a lie, if she knows the truth already?
"tell me" god, she smelled like the most intoxicating thing in the world. your ellie. or not your ellie, just ellie.
"leave me alone" you mumbled.
"no"
"m'not leaving you alone"
you could kiss her now. you could feel her lips brush against yours and you could kiss her, and tell her everything she wants to know, because god knows she needs it.
you were a coward.
you left, and she didn't chase you. she was a coward too.
she needed a fucking blunt.
────────────
the air felt crisp and biting against her skin. the moon, obscured by thick clouds, offered only glimpses of its pale light. shadows danced and flickered, and the distant howl of the wind rung in her ears. the blunt was delicately held between her fingers, and wisps of smoke curled and swirled in the air around her. she took a leisurely drag, and sighed.
she wasn't new to being alone. she liked bathing in solace, surrounded by her thoughts. usually, it felt nice, and it calmed her down. you, you were anything but calming. being alone was like a sunny beach day. being with you was a storm. you made her palms sweat and her heart beat faster. sometimes, she swore she might have a heart attack. you were her best friend, but it never truly felt like it. best friends tell each other everything, best friends hug and they hold each others hands. best friends dont disappear when the sun sets because they are afraid of what might happen in the dark, and they certainly don't feel like there's no more air left to breathe when they're around each other. they dont touch themselves thinking of each other, and their world doesn't crush upon them when they show interest in other people.
she wasn't your best friend, and neither were you her's.
ellie takes another hit. then, she remembers that one day in tenth grade. you both walked home from school, and you stopped right in your tracks. you asked her if she feels weird around you, if this peculiar feeling creeps up on her from time to time as well. when she asked you what you meant, you told her that sometimes it feels like she isn't your friend. that it feels like the universe has glued you two together, but not for the reason she thinks. when she asked you what you thought it was for, you shrugged, and told her that only time will tell. she felt her insides turn and her ears burned bright red. then, you sighed, and said; "maybe were soulmates" she had to stop herself from grinning, or fucking exploding, and her heart missed a beat. "platonic ones, obviously... maybe were not supposed to be best friends, just two souls who float around each other. you got any snacks? m'starving"
she flicks the blunt and the ashes fall down on the grass. she brings it to her lips again, and shuts her eyes close.
"ellie?"
she opens them fast and turns her head around. it takes her a moment to recognize, as the high washes over her body, but she finally sees.
alison.
"can i sit with you?" she asks while moving closer, and gives her a timid smile.
ellie clears her throat, and drags her body over to the side.
"sure"
the ginger sits next to her, and she relaxes her face.
they sit in silence for a moment.
"t'was a nice kiss" she whispers, and ellie looks at her from the corner of her eye. she should feel shy, and nervous being around the girl she had just kissed. for some reason, she doesn't.
"yeah..." ellie affirms.
"t'was"
the girl looks at the ground, and then looks at ellie again. she smiles, and breathes deeply.
"i wasn't the one you wanted to kiss though" she remarks, and lays her back comfortably against the bench.
"mmph— what do you mean?" ellie feels it now. the nervousness. it wasn’t there before.
"your friend" she bites her lip. she's not looking at ellie anymore, she's staring at the ground.
"what... friend?"
"the one who ran off"
ellie doesn't speak, just brings her lips to form a tight line. was it that... obvious?
"i mean... did you at least go after her? she asks, and she says it kindly, like she cares. weird.
ellie takes a second to respond. she considers denying it, running off just like you did. fuck it, she's high enough.
"yes" is all she mutters, and its quiet. she thinks this is the first time she ever talked about it out loud. only her journal knows, her brave soldier holding on to all of her little secrets, and now, alison knows too.
"and... did something happen?"
she wishes something did.
"no she— she ran off. again, so" she takes another drag, and it burns in her throat. she needs a glass of water, a cool one. maybe she needs a bucket to fall on her head too.
"and you didn't chase her?" the girl questions again. ellie feels like she's being interrogated. for some reason she doesn't even begin to understand, she feels relieved in a way, too. who knew talking could be so... nice. maybe its the high, she wonders.
"she clearly... doesn't want me around so— why would i chase her" that sentence carried a sadness to it. her voice broke when she spoke, and she feels like slapping herself across the cheek. she offers alison the blunt, and the girl takes it in between her fingers, and nods.
"so you just... let her go?"
ellie doesn't respond. she wants her blunt back. talking isn't nice, she decides.
"can i ask you a personal question?" alison takes a drag before ellie responds.
"you already sort of did so, be my guest"
"are you in love with her?"
ellie's breath hitches inside her throat, and she feels like digging a hole in the ground and burying herself inside. she knew she was, but it didn't fucking matter. you weren't in love, and that was that.
"people in this college are fucking weird, man" she comments, and in one second she has the blunt right between her fingers again. finally.
"yeah... heard this crazy girl banged up on all of the bathroom doors and started kicking the stalls"
"ah" she huffs.
"touché"
its silent for a second before she asks her again.
"what do you feel when you're around her?"
"are you a psych major by any chance?" she questions, narrowing her eyes.
"yep. so, let me psychoanalyze you. pretend its for my... project or something. i ask you questions, you respond... and then i get a super good grade thanks to you"
she bites her lips, and looks to the side. she considers hiding herself inside of the bush till the girl goes away.
"i'm your therapist, go 'head"
ellie rolls her eyes, and considers. fucking fuck it. maybe writing this shit on paper isn't enough.
"i feel like i can't breathe around her, sometimes. like... there's this fucking thing"
"what thing?"
"fucking... god... thing it’s a fucking thing. i have to stop myself from doing shit... s'fucking stupid."
alison smiles. and she nudges ellie on and on till she speaks again.
"its like— every time i'm fucking around her, it physically hurts me... that I ca— that I can't fucking have her. or that... it like, tingles in my fucking hands. and my fucking heart starts beating and my brain goes all foggy and I feel like I'm going to fucking faint. I want to be around her, I fucking want to— but every time she's next to me I feel like im gonna vomit. and she makes me fucking sick and I just wanna hold her and..."
she's never breathed so deeply in her life.
"that's... a lot" alison mutters.
"yeah..." ellie takes another drag, and barely exhales.
"doesn't fucking matter anyways. she doesn't see me that way."
alison's eyebrows rise up, and she looks at ellie like she's fucking stupid.
"ellie... she saw you kiss me and she fucking ran away. like, she physically ran away. are you blind? or are you stupid?"
"did you just call me stupid?" ellie huffs. was she? was she stupid?
"listen to me" she begins, and forces ellie to look her in the eyes.
"it's like..." the girl takes a peak at her iphone screen.
"1:30am."
"okay?" ellie huffs. her stomach's turning again.
"you're in love with this girl, and if you don't go after her right now it's gonna be too late"
"i can go tomorrow" ellie whispers. she won't. shed go back to her old habits of hiding and pining till her brain burns.
"you won't"
"fuck" she mutters under her breath.
"go!" the girl yells, and nudges ellie's arm.
"okay like— right fucking now?" ellie says loudly, and she feels her feet fucking lifting her up off of the bench, like she again, has no control over her body.
"right now, go!"
she curses herself out under her breath. fuck. it.
ellie starts running, and running, and running, and her shoes are meeting the ground with loud bangs, flopping up and down against her ass. she didn't to track in high school, but if coach charlie saw her now, he'd sign her up and shed get a full fucking athlete's scholarship. she feels her heart thudding in her ears, and she has no time to even think. what the fuck is she doing? where is she going? what if you'll tell her to go the fuck away? what if she's delusional, completely braindead, she wonders to herself for a tiny second, as she catches her breath.
and then— the image of you, mascara running down your cheeks flashes in her brain.
you cried, because she kissed another fucking girl.
"m'not— fucking" she pants,
"delusional"
she's standing right in front of rockefeller housing. brown cobblestone, as if each brick and mortar had witnessed countless stories unfold within its hallowed halls. she gets a hold of herself, before her heart punctuates in her chest, and stands still, chest heaving up and down. she looks up at your room's window, and its standing lit. you're still awake. she feels like she just won the fucking lottery.
she almost whoo hoo's! but she's way too "cool" for that. so she walks slowly, pats herself on the shoulder, and yells a loud;
"fuck yes!"
"shut the fuck up!"
oh shit. she just woke someone up.
────────────
how corny was it to lounge inside of your room, alone, the mellow tunes of lana's "ultraviolence" playing from your antique turntable?
very corny.
but you didn't mind. your tears had dried up already, and you were comfy in pretty white silk pajama's, a bowl of cheddar popcorn and that same goddamn boxed wine.
someone just screamed a terrifyingly loud "shut the fuck up!" from outside of your window. you'd have laughed, usually, but your mind was occupied. you felt tortured, and sickly, and why the fuck did you leave like that? it was embarrassing, truly, she watched you cry, and you interrogated her with bizarre, passive aggressive questions that would make the calmest man alive want to bash his head against the wall.
"breakfast at tiffanys" played on the television, and cat just ran away. you pouted, and sighed deeply. you were too tired now, and your eyelids felt heavy. you lifted yourself off of the bed, and made your way to turn off the lights, and drift away.
knock knock knock.
who the fuck is knocking at your door at 2am? it must be your roommate, jen, returning from the party.
you twist the doorknob, and yawn.
oh god.
"ellie?"
she gulps. she looks down on the floor, and up at you again. she looks absolutely panicked, and her bangs are sticking to her forehead. three of her hair strands formed a sweet little heart shape filled with sweat. her hand is shaking and she would have pounced right on you and fucking kissed you already if she had the fucking courage—
you step back.
"what are you doing here?" you quip, and your voice is so small and sweet that it truly kills her inside.
"i would've—" she takes a small step and enters inside of your room. she looks around, and the candles and the fucking lana playing in the background and she's sure she's gonna be sick because you're so fucking cute and your eyes are puffy and lips all swollen like they had been stung by a bee, and she wants to be your medicine and kiss them so hard you fall on the floor, but all she can mutter is;
"fucking brought you something... but it was all closed— all the fucking stores were closed because its the middle of the fucking night"
"what stores... wha— what are you talking about?" you whisper as you take a step back, you want to offer her a glass of water because she's sweating but you just can't.
"fuck— fucking flower shop or something, or those fucking chocolate covered fruits you like or—“
"what?" you mutter, breathless as if you were the one who just ran a marathon.
"you cried" she points a finger at you. you back away, taking a small step to further yourself away from her.
"you cried because i kissed another girl" she huffs, and her eyebrows scrunch together.
"I didn't—" you try and interrupt, unsuccessfully.
"you cried and that means that you fucking— you dont want me to kiss other girls"
you bite your lip so hard it feels like it might start drawing blood and run all over your chin. oh no.
"you want me to kiss— fuck it"
a supernova. as a dying star unleashes its final act, igniting in like a cosmic firework, it paints the galaxy like a canvas. shades of ruby red, sapphire blue, and shimmering gold intermingle together and create the most beautiful piece of art the universe has ever witnesses.
that's what it felt like when her lips were on yours.
they brushed up against you as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and perhaps it was.
when you imagined your first kiss with ellie, convinced you were indulging yourself in pure delusion, you thought it would be soft, and gentle. it felt as if her lips were running away from yours, and you had to chase them to meet against you again.
this kiss, was anything but. so perhaps you were delusional, but not in the heartbreaking way.
when her tongue first met yours, intertwining itself so perfectly, swirling around fervently inside of your mouth, bumping into your teeth and pulling you in, her lips sucking on it like she'd die if you ever pulled back, gentle was the last word you could use to describe it.
hungry, and ravenous, it was.
her knees felt like the were going to give up beneath her, and leave her a crumpled mess on the floor. if she thought that being around you felt like her heart was thudding out of her chest, kissing you was much, much worse. kissing you made her feel like her heart left her already, and leaped right into your being.
she broke the kiss first, refusing to open her eyes. so did you, you couldn't believe it was actually happening.
"you..." she whispered, and her breath tickled your nose.
"i..." you whispered in response. there were no words you could mutter, they would never come out coherent enough.
"ive..." she huffed.
"wanted to do this for so fucking—"
you brought your lips together to meet again. this time, it was softer, and gentle, but you didn't have to chase her away, because she stayed.
"me too" you whispered, or fully whined, you truly didn't know.
"no you dont..."
"you dont understand" she cupped your cheeks between her palms, she wouldn't even open her eyes, afraid of what she might do if she opened them and realized it was only just a dream.
"i do" you plead. her hands were warm and your cheeks were scorching hot against them.
"i need you"
"you need me?"
"it hurts"
"what hurts?" she whispered as she brushed her finger on your cheek. it was delicate, and soft.
"my heart" you hiccuped, a broken sob escaping your lips. you couldn't hold it in anymore, and a fat tear streamlined down your face, like a little river, rolling down inside of ellie's palm.
she wanted to kiss you again, but she had to hear you say it.
"when i'm... not with you— when i can't... and when you kissed her" you sobbed. "it hurt so bad"
"it hurt me too"
"please kiss me aga—“
so she did. again, and again, and again, till your throat felt dry and you kept seeing stars erupting inside of your brain.
chest against chest, heaving up and down on each other, she caressed your waist, and pulled you closer. when the kissed deepened again, you moaned, and it got swallowed inside of her mouth.
"you can't do that or i won't... fuck— won't be able to fucking stop"
"do what?" you asked, your bottom lip still brushing against her top one.
"can't make those sounds"
"w— why?" your chest caressed her's, and it was ellie's turn to let out a deep grunt.
"because ive thought... ive wa— i think about you all the fucking time like this"
"me too..." you admitted, breathing in her scent.
she wanted to ask you exactly what you thought about. she wanted to hear you say it, in exact, firm sentences. do you touch yourself thinking about her too? that would make her fucking lose her mind. instead, she took you in her arms, and banged you up against the wall.
thud "oh god" you hiccuped.
"yeah?" she teased, breathless. she wanted to do it better, wanted to sound more firm and stern and make you beg and tell her and whine on the floor but she was too fucking desperate for that right now.
"m'gonna— fuck" she hissed, when your tits grazed her's again.
"is this happening?" she whispered, and held your waist so tight in her arms. her body heat against yours made you completely shiver. she traced small circles on your hips but when you bucked forward her hands started shaking. she traced squares, or squiggly lines, or full on octagons.
"it's happening" you whispered back, and every time her lips brushed against yours it reminded you of how real everything was.
"can i touch you?"
"please" you whined, and you felt the saliva gathering and pooling on your bottom lip, mixing with hers.
ellie brushed her forehead against yours. she caressed it up and down, she needed to feel how your skin felt against her's because god knows she's truly spent so much time thinking about it and it didn't feel real, she needed it to feel real, so she begged;
"open your eyes"
you did. they fluttered open as your lashes flickered up and down and she chased you with her eyes again, until they directly met her's.
"tell me how bad you need this"
you gulped harshly, and it made a soft little sound. you felt absolutely limp against her, like you could crush down on the floor at any given moment.
she never thought she'd hear those words, outside of her dreamworld, sound asleep at 4am.
"i need— ellie i need it so bad" you whimpered, and she felt it twitch inside her fucking boxers, but felt it tug at her heart even more. how could have she been so fucking blind?
she opened her mouth, and she almost kept her eyes open whilst she kissed you because she needed to fucking see everything. she needed to see your eyebrows squint and your eyes close shut, your breath hitch and your hand drop from her shoulder, and then go up to grab her shoulder again and squeeze.
ellie, ellie couldn't help it anymore.
she caressed her hand up from the navel of your stomach, slowly grazing her finger up and up and up, till they met your breast and fuck she wanted to ask you if it was okay but the way you moaned inside of her mouth when she gave the cup a little squeeze, signaled her that she could do whatever the hell she wanted because you've always. been. her's.
as her tongue swirled with yours, warm saliva practically running out and streamlining from the corner of her mouth, she grazed her finger on top of your clothed nipple.
she separated her lips from yours, and moved her head back to look at you.
"you know how fucking crazy you drive me?" she pecked your lips forcefully and they made a smacking sound. you smirked, your eyes still glossy from the previous tear that escaped, and she nearly lost her damn mind.
"dont fucking smirk at me like that..." she kissed your jaw, making your entire body clench. "always fucking teasing me" kiss "always making me think..." kiss "i'll never fucking get it" kiss "driving me fucking crazy with those little fucking tops" kiss "those short fucking skirts" kiss
fuck.
"just wanted you to s— see, ellie..."
she tilted her head, and smiled so big and blushed so hard you nearly cried again.
"can i... can i take your shirt off?
you nodded up and down and fervently, like if you didn't show her exactly how bad you needed her she'll never fucking get it. old habits die hard.
she pulled the strap of your tank top off, and it slid down your shoulder. she let out a shaky breath. she's thought of seeing you bare in front of her way too many times than she'd like to admit. she saw the tip of your hard nipples poking out of the material and her breath hitched, borderline on wheezing. she delicately grazed her finger on it, stopping herself from pinching it and twisting and pulling like she always fucking wanted to. she had to go slow, she had to savor this moment.
you couldn't go slow.
you lifted your top off and ditched it on the floor. she was faced with your tits and she nearly damn went cross eyed. holy fucking shit.
"holy fuck" she hissed, her chest heaving up and down. her boxers were entierly drenched by now and she hasn't even touched them, until now.
she grabbed them with her calloused hands and squeezed them together, making them meet and form a natural cleavage. when she exhaled, a soft sound escaped her throat. it sounded like a quiet howl, or a harsh whimper.
"need to fucking taste" she growled, and your panties felt warm inside, and it tingled, that familiar yet completely different feeling washed over your cunt, as soon as her drooling, wet mouth was on your nipples, twisting and swirling her tongue against the sensitive buds, sucking and taking them out of her mouth with plop sounds, and every time she felt you squirm she moaned against them, her mouth fully vibrating on your nipples.
she detached her lips, just to look up at you with a lovedrunk smile adorning her face. she looked absolutely high on your body and you didn't even notice... that you started grinding up against her, bucking your hips inwards and backwards every time her head bobbed up and down on your tits.
"what am i..." she pulled your nipple in her finger, twisting it from side to side, making you nearly scream. you slapped your hand on your mouth, because if you didn’t— you’d fully get a stern note from the other residents tomorrow morning. "going to fucking do with you?"
"i think you know... ellie" you hiccuped.
"say my name again" she groaned, forcefully grabbing your tits now. she shook them up and down, and parted your thighs with her leg.
"ellie..." you whimpered, completely gasping for air.
"again"
"ellie!"
"fuck yes..."
her ongoing imaginations of you whimpering her name had absolutely nothing on the real deal. she picked you up, her hands grasping your thighs, and laid you on the bed. laid, would be a gentle way to say it. she practically tossed you on it, making the mattress jump up and down and creak slightly. she laid her body on top of yours, and her chest felt strong and steady, except for two perky mounds that connected directly with yours.
"please take your shirt off" you pled.
"take it off of me" she hissed, planting another sweet, sweet kiss on your breasts. she was fucking obsessed with them, and she wasn't afraid to show it now. it’s funny, how a only a week ago, she had to contemplate having her eyeballs surgically removed because she couldn’t stop her eyes from darting up and down. she could actually adore them now, and she felt it deep in her lower abdomen.
you tugged at the bottom of her top, hastily attempting to take it off fast because you yearned to see her so bad it almost hurt, but she palmed your hands and stopped you fully.
"nuh uh" she warned.
"slowly..."
you look up at her, doe eyed and begging. your breath caged in your throat, because this is real. it fucking hit you again.
when she saw you look up, it tugged at the strings of her heart.
she kisses you, and it feels like something you've never felt before. it feels warm, and it feels like fucking love. it was as if you became liquid, what was once solid, and hard, melted into a sweet puddle of warm honey.
she wants to take your shorts off already, but she stops herself. she looks you deep in the eyes, and her cheeks bloom red. she's in love.
and she knows you are too.
would it be awfully corny if she told you she wanted to make love to you? it probably would. for some reason, she didn’t need to vocalize it.
now, it was her eyes who turned glassy, making the emerald green glisten and twinkle.
"i need to..." you dont respond, you just do what she needs you to do.
you take your shorts off, and ellie simply stares down, panting, as her heart thuds inside of her chest. the way she looks, like she's absolutely famished, makes your clit pump inside of your panties that it terrifies you if she actually sees.
you shyly cover up, and she smiles gently as she grabs your wrists to peel them off of the soft, now sticky fabric.
"dont be shy..." she whispers, and when she see's the wet patch that formed, that pooled down just where your tight hole is, her face twists and she bites her lips. when she looked up at you, you turned your head to the side.
"look at that..." she chuckles, and it's fucking hypoctirical, the way she's mocking— because she has a spot even bigger on the bottom of her boxers, except she's fucking dressed and youre not.
"need to kiss it..." she desperately says, her voice low and raspy.
"need you to tell me..." she kisses your tummy, softly, as it heaves up and down. "to kiss it..." with every breath that leaves her, she kisses it again, her tongue now poking out of her mouth.
"mm— cant" you whimper. when did you become so shy?
"please" she begs, as her kisses become more wet, leaving little trails and puddles of saliva on your stomach.
"ellie..." you hiccup, feeling as if you could cum just by grinding your crotch back and forth against the air. her words are more than enough.
"say it..." she pleads, and it gets absolutely ridicilous— who's begging who now?
"please kiss— god" she simply palms your cunt, right on your panties, her warmth mixing with yours, and an incredibly loud, high pitched moan, closer to a screech leaves your mouth. the sound makes her groan into your stomach, moving her kisses further and further down. with each kiss, your body grows warmer, a certain tremor adding to your sudden jolts.
when she's face to face with your cunt, directly gazing at the wet spot, she closes her eyes shut, and plants a soft kiss upon the wet material. she's thought about doing this so many times, she has to stop herself from sneaking her hand down her boxers and start grinding up and down on it, and cum simply from just smelling you, as her nose bumps directly on your clit.
she wants to see it bad, those slick beautiful folds she had imagine so many times, the little bud poking on top, but she can't help but notice how greedy and eager you get when she teases you. she can't help but notice those cute little sounds that escape your throat, the way your eyebrows squint together and a small v shaped line forms on your forehead.
she gives a soft, kitten lick over the material, and you completely jump upwards. "ellie! fuck!" you moan, and she swears its the most heavenly sound she's ever heard. "that's it... grind yourself up against me... just like that"
you grind against her eager mouth, her tongue making the fabric transform into almost full sheerness, clinging and sticking to your cunt, every time ellie drools on it a little more.
"fuck m'gonna!— cum... ellie!" you hiccup and wheeze, and she can't help but pull your hips, move you closer to her mouth, as your thighs completely close and clench around her neck. but she doesn't fucking care.
she's going to make you cum all over your fucking panties.
she needs it. she yearns for it.
she bumps her tongue harder and flattens it against your clit, grinding you down, completely controlled by the very movements of her hands, guiding your through it and forcing you to keep moving against her.
it's closer, and closer, the white pleasure taking over your entire body, and you start shaking against her—
"cum for me... that's it" she whimpers, "cum hard all over my— fuck, my fucking face"
you barely even have time to recover, still completely sensitive, your entire body shaking when she takes off your panties, sniffs them shamelessly, and shoves them in her pocket.
"what are you d— doing?" you hiccup.
"dont worry about it" she mutters, and her entire face flushes red.
you dont, so instead, you beg for her to let you come again. she doesn’t, for now, and it was pure evil.
ellie's jaw clenches when she's face to face with your weeping pussy. her breath caged in her throat, and she lets out a high pitched, animalistic moan, followed by an adorable twist to her face. she's imagined it too many fucking times.
she'd tell you, but she's afraid to come off as pathetic.
slowly, agonizingly slow, with the intention to savor this moment, she places a soft, sweet little kiss on your cunt. you jump, and call out her name. she places another one, and another one, right on your achy clit. before she indulges herself in the first taste, she looks up at you.
"you're so beautiful" she whispers. and you know how bad she means it, because it comes out shaky, and you can taste how sweet those words are and really they’re just words.
you nearly die.
"and so fucking wet"
you nearly cum.
"mmph— ellie, please" you breathe. "pleasepleaseplease"
she doesn't need to hear any more of it, before her tongue laps up the sweet nectar of your pussy, starting with your hole, collecting the juice with the bottom of her tongue, curling it, and swallowing. "taste so fucking good"... she mutters. "knew you would"
she truly, truly did.
ellie slowly begins circling your clit with her tongue, in soft, little motions that focus right on your aching bud. one of her hands is squeezing your thigh, as the other creeps up slowly to grab your breast and toy with the nipple. its so fucking soft inside of her mouth that she can't help but grind herself down on the bed, the cream that formed inside of her boxers making it easy to slide backwards and inwards, and she releases sweet, desperate moans inside of your pussy every time it hits her clit.
when ellie feels you clench your hole in and out, she spreads your pussy lips apart, spits a big glob of saliva on top of your clit, making it slide all the way down to your hole.
"need to fill you up, fuck" she growls, and before you know it, her tongue is on you again, and her finger is teasing and begging your hole to let her in.
"baby" she coos, "let go for me"
"c— cant!" you cry out. its all too much, and you feel so embarrassed that you won't stop clenching, till she looks up at you again.
"breathe... it's okay" she whispers, "i'll be gentle, i fucking promise"
when you breathe in for her, she grits her teeth. fucking finally. she slides her finger inside, so slow you regret ever making her think you'd want it gentle, so you grind up on it, bringing your body forward so it swallows her finger whole.
"god damn" she hisses, and her voice is higher pitched because she can't fucking believe it.
she wants to whore you the fuck out, but she needs to be gentle for now. she considers… for just a mere second, to sprint to her room, grab her strap and split you whole, but she stops herself. she genuinely needs to grab her fucking knee so she doesn’t move away and lose control entirely.
she pumps it inside, lost in the feeling of your gummy walls squeezing her in, over and over again, lapping up on your clit, and when she feels you clench again, coming closer and closer to the edge, she adds a second finger.
"so fucking tight... you're so fucking tight" she says, and pushes your thighs up to your chest, your entire body shaking against her. you whimper and squeak and cry, babbling incoherently while she's scissoring them inside of you, grunting deep inside of your pussy every time your moans grow louder and louder.
the mattress seems to bump on her clit harder now, and ellie completely stops.
she hastily pulls her pants down, alongside with her boxers, and before you even have time to react to the sight of her cunt or her thighs or the abs that you're now exposed to (you honest to god, have no idea when she even managed to take her shirt off), she pulls your thigh high up, and places your leg on her shoulder.
"you're gonna cum on me— you hear that?" she hisses, when her weeping pussy meets yours. "yes ellie!" you hiccup, "louder"
"mmm—ellie— can'— need to cum on you"
"you wanna fucking cum on me?" she babbles back, and it comes out so messy and pussydrunk that she doesn't even reply back when you cry out with your forehead against her shoulder, biting on it hard, too intoxicated by your little moans and the feeling of your weeping, sticky pussy against hers, bumping her clit and it almost fucking burns inside of her.
she separates your legs further apart, and her gaze burns through you. her eyes are still green, and its still fucking ellie— but they turn a shade darker. she grinds against you forcefully, making your clit bump on her’s, your love-fluids mixing together and creating the most absolutely obscene noises that little dorm room has ever heard. when you close your eyes, because it’s all too much and she’s grunting and whimpering against you, she takes your cheeks in her hands and squeezes.
“look at me. look at me” she begs, and you keep blurting out tiny little squeals of pleasure that she cant help but let out a breathy laugh, and she wants to slap you and hear you squirm even harder but fuck— she’s gonna cum and she can’t even make her hands fucking work, so she just grabs your tits together as she grinds harder and harder, her ass jiggling up and down as she takes you.
“you’re so fucking— goddamn— so fucking cute you’re so fucking pretty”
"m'gonna cum!" you blabber, you brain entirely empty, only filled with the image of ellie's mouth hung completely open, letting out a beautiful symphony of moans, screaming and grunting your name and begging you to fucking take her, and when the tears stream down your face she can't help but wonder... how needy you'd look with her strap buried deep and when the thought hits her— when she imagined the way your hole would take her right inside, the way it would gape after she'd take it out, makes her cum so hard against your pussy that she almost, almost passes out.
when you cum, a second after she does, you tell her that you love her.
when she hears it, a small whimper escapes her lips, and it sounds almost like a sob.
"ive always fucking loved you"
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie tlou#ellie tlou2#the last of us#wlw#lesbian#fanfiction
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Ring and Nica bond level story summaries (up to level 4)
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ these are crude story summaries that are meant to give you an idea of what’s happening in the story. it’s not a pretty translation 😅 i don’t have darius here because i haven’t raised his bond level yet, but i may post about his bond stories later unless someone else posts translations? but if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
nica 🍒
bond level 3: “eating a meal together”
nika is like “relax a little more and lets enjoy dinner. todays a social gathering for vogel”
then hes like “did yk robin? they say you can tell someones char from the way they eat. if they eat quickly, theyre hasty and dont like losing. and the opposite means theyre more laid back. ..well, which do you think i am?”
"im in the middle of watching": nikas like "oh is that so? then feel free to look on more. ah, i can keep my clothes on, right?"
"ur a superficial person": nikas like "yep, i get told that a lot. i happen to reaaally like women - including you, ofc?"
"u dont enjoy ur life that much": nikas like "......hmm? so ur the type to like guys who r pitiful and unhappy?"
nikas like when we finish eating lets tell each other our answers then.
"come to my room, robin. we can get to know each other more there.."
bond level 4: skills
nika is like "sorry to keep you waiting robin. oh? why do you look so surprised? ahh did you think a fox (harrison) was coming or smth"
"the card that got sent to u, that was written by me. thats right, its forged handwriting"
"its one of my skills. did you enjoy it, robin?"
"absolutely not": nikas like "and as ive been sayinggg, hearing u say that is like the highest praise to me"
"bye (im leaving)": nikas like ehh ur going back already? even tho this part is known for not having many carriages around.
glare at him silently: nika is like oh, i like that frustrated look on ur face. im into that (<- this sentence is prolly not completely accurate)
then he’s all like "aww, you’re so mean. dont u think im here just bc i miss u (w/o an ulterior motive) 🥺"
"pfft, hahaha! u get touched so easily like that.. ahh ur such a strange one 😆"
"lets go, robin, and take me around london. lets see.. a place where theres a lot of girls would be great :]"
ring 💍
bond level 3: “eating a meal together”
ring is eating and finishes his portion quickly.
kate offers her portion: ring is like "noo you should eat ur portion"
when kate says there r seconds: ring is like "omg ur a genius :D"
"i'll give u my portion": ring is like "eh- ah. is.. it really ok? ..thank u then. i'll eat it all (i.e. with care)"
and then he says he didnt intend to get close to kate bc shes a fairytale keeper and hes part of vogel, but kate had been so kind to him so he became kinda like confused xD
bond level 4: skills
ring is naming flowers. and kate apparently caught him in 4k so he is all flustered like "omg.. dont tell me u.. saw all of that?"
"i didnt see anything": ring is like but theres a grin on ur face.. ur kind of bad at lying.
"..im sorry": ring is like "when you apologize so sincerely like that, i feel bad for being surprised.."
"well, i wonder abt that?": ring is like "d-dont grin like that >,> you have a teasing side to u too, huh.."
but anw he says that "yes i do like flowers :> when im free i try to remember the names of flowers and their meanings"
"why..? well that's.. to make frie- i mean, its nothing."
he asks kate to forget what she saw here and then is like "bye ttyl"
when hes like some distance away from her he whispers to himself that he shouldnt get close to the fairytale keeper.
#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil vogel#ikevil nika#ikevil nika schwarz#nika schwarz#ikemen villains nika#ikevil ring#ikevil ring schwarz#ring schwarz#ikemen villains ring#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome#ikevil translation#ikevil translations
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Aggressive Love
Clarisse La Rue x fem!reader
Clarisse has never been very good at showing her affection to her crushes, so when one day she crosses the line she starts to realize she needs to confess to a couple of things.
Warnings: None, boring plot
A/N - TAKING CHARACTER X READER REQUESTS!!!
Not long after you arrive at camp you meet the Ares girl. Clarisse La Rue was not ashamed to make her name known, but the way she did it did not sit well with you.
Luke was walking you around showing you the ropes and trying to find your special thing, when she walked by.
“Seems like you got yourself a new girl” Clarisse spoke with her arms crossed, stepping in front of the two of you with her siblings by her side.
“Be nice she’s new” Luke spoke up and the girl rolled her eyes.
For someone big on first introductions, Clarisse was not cutting it for you. Her attitude made you scrunch up your face in annoyance and that did not go unnoticed by anyone.
Clarisse simply looked you up and down before walking away “She is not someone you want to get in a fight with” Luke spoke pushing you along.
As the week passed you found yourself getting along alright. The Hermes cabin fits you well, even though it technically isn’t your cabin. And everyone seemed to like you.
Except for Clarisse.
Multiple people asked her why she hated you, and truthfully she didn’t even know why. You never even talked to her, but that face you gave her said it all (or at least that is what she kept telling herself)
You are quiet, often found walking around, practicing archery, or helping your friends. You were not disrupting people’s peace, or getting into fights and starting arguments, like her.
She told herself that the reason she didn’t like you was because of how you two are the complete opposites, and that she had a feeling being together would only end badly.
So to make herself feel even better, she started getting into small arguments with you, just to prove to others and herself that she was right.
The first time she did it, it was at the lake. She saw you sitting there alone, no one else around, and took the opportunity to approach you.
She had a scowl on her face as she stood in front of you, blocking your view.
“Having fun?” She asked, which only made you raise your gaze and shrug your shoulders “Yeah I guess why?”
She scoffed, quickly thinking of a lie “Luke has been looking for you all over, he needed your help and you let him down. I was right about you.” She mumbled the last part, shaking her head and looking off.
Hearing this, you became worried, not wanting to upset Luke anymore you got up and ran to find him.
When you did he looked at you with a confused look, and you only then found out it was all a lie.
The next couple of days, Clarisse would follow you around, throw things at you, and start small brawls which you would never really even participate in.
Then finally one day you had enough.
She had followed you into the woods, calling you names and once again bringing up the fact your godly parent hadn’t claimed you.
You finally stopped and looked at her “Why do you hate me?” You asked in a fed-up voice which caught her a bit off guard.
In any other argument you always sounded sarcastic, or like you were having fun with it. But this time she noticed that you genuinely seemed upset. Maybe it’s because she crossed a line, bringing up your godly parents.
“Answer me.” Your gentle voice got her attention once more and her mouth opened but quickly shut.
“I have done nothing to you and yet you hate me every day.” Clarisse furrowed her brows looking down at the ground.
A feeling of regret started in her stomach, and she watched as you walked off.
For the next week, she thought to herself, what she should do, or if she should even do anything.
Finally, she decided to go to Luke.
When she sat next to him and asked for his help, he let out a soft laugh, leaning back with his arms crossed. But then he noticed how serious she was, she didn't have a scowl on her face, or any sign of annoyance, just a straight expression.
“She hates me”
“Do you blame her?” Luke spoke, picking at his food and shoveling it in his mouth. Clarisse only frowned and looked as though she was about to leave. “If you aren't going to help me then I'm just gonna leave.”
“Sit down” he mumbled and she did.
“Why do you only now want to become her friend?” Luke asked with curiosity, his curly hair falling into his eyes and he stirred his peas around on his plate.
“I don't know,” Clarisse answered, her voice sounding softer than it usually does. “You like her don't you.” He spoke up as he turned his gaze to her. Clarisse seemed startled by what he was saying, maybe she did like her, and was just … afraid of what the others would say.
Luke didn't need an answer to know he was right. 2 years ago something just like this happened with her and a girl in the Hermes cabin, except Clarisse never did anything and the girl continued to think that she hated her.
“If I were you, I'd maybe start by apologizing to the girl and giving her something she likes,” Luke stated as he started to stand up from the table. “Like what?” Clarisse mumbled, her reaction time a bit slow, which was strange for the Ares girl.
“She told me she likes flowers, maybe go pick some.”
Clarisse hated flowers.
“Okay”
That night Clarisse got one of the Demeter kids to give her some flowers, and she marched over to your cabin.
She knew that each clear night you always sat outside, so seeing you sitting on the steps to your cabin was no surprise.
Except the boy next to you was.
She faltered for a moment, feeling even dorkier than before, her arms dropped to her side, the flowers slouching slightly.
But she kept going, “Scram” she shouted at the boy with a scowl on her face. The boy sighed stood up and mumbled “Night Y/n”
Clarisse took a moment to stare at you, how the moonlight made you so beautiful.
Then she locked in and stuck out the flowers for you. “Here” she spoke again with that same scowl on her face, you nervously reached up to grab the flowers and gave her a small smile “Thanks … but why”
Clarisse sat down next to you, at first your legs touched but she quickly moved over. “Because I've been a dick.” she sighed and looked over at you.
She memorized how pretty you looked in her head.
You let out a soft laugh and nodded your head “That's true … I’m surprised you are owning up to it.”
“Don't get used to it” she chuckled, which made you turn to look at her.
“A little birdie helped me realize something.” she spoke again after a moment of silence “Was it Luke?” you asked and she nodded her head “How do you know?”
“Because if anyone else tried to help you realize something they'd end up in the infirmary and everyone in camp would know,” you responded with a smile.
Clarisse nodded her head, gently biting onto her lip trying to suppress her smile. “Yeah I guess you’re right about that.” her head dipped down slightly as she looked at her hands.
“Luke helped me realize how much of an idiot I was.”
You smiled as you looked up from the flowers you had been trawling around in your hands. You hummed slightly and nodded your head in agreement to which she rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.
“I like you.” she mumbled finally, “Do you?” she hummed in response, and for a moment you swear you could see a faint blush on her face. “I've been told I'm an aggressive lover, I guess to some people it might be hard to know it’s affection I'm trying to show and not …”
“Hatred? Yeah, it would've probably been best to clarify that before throwing toilet paper at me.” You laughed softly which caused her to show more of a blush.
After a few seconds you nudged her shoulder “You’re lucky you're so pretty … or maybe I wouldn’t forgive you.”
She looked up at you with a small smile, your legs were touching slightly, but the two of you did not seem to care.
A piece of her hair fell in front of her face, and you were quick to brush it away.
If it was anyone else touching her, Clarisse was sure they'd already be dead, not only that she was sure that her father was probably groaning at how sappy they were behaving, but she couldn't care at the moment.
You kept your gaze connected with hers, and it didn't take long for Clarisse to act on her desires and kiss you softly.
A/N - y'all I don't know what I just wrote, and I know I didn't represent our girl right!!
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omg omg mera just imagine step bro skully with a step sister who is utterly insatiable when it comes to sex and far from shy about it. ever since you and skully confirmed your mutual affection for one another, you’ve taken any chance you can get to milk him dry and feel his fat cock inside your needy pussy. unable to go even a day without feeling the heavy weight of him snug in your wet walls.
sneaking into his room in the morning and at night, riding him senseless as he tries to hide his pathetic whines n whimpers from how heavenly your pussy feels. inconspicuously sucking skully off when the two of you are supposed to be doing something else, and him desperately trying not to finish so quickly because you’re just so good with your mouth. but he’s never allowed to cum down your throat; you always pull away right before he reaches his climax and give him a cheeky smile as you playfully coo that he’s only allowed to let out allll his cum in your pussy. sneaking in some desperate horny quickies when your parents aren’t looking or when the two of you are out in public throughout the day. and rather than try to clean out his seed, you keep it all in there, walking around with your adorably pathetic step bro’s cum stuffed deep inside your pussy.
of course, skully can’t say no to you, far too infatuated with his dear step sis and addicted to your pussy to even think of denying both of you pleasure. and he’s practically melting with how often you encourage him to fuck you raw, the risky thrill of getting you pregnant making his head spin. if you keep teasing him and practically begging for him to breed you every time he stuffs your pussy with his cum, he might really do it.
AAAA YES!!!! OTL they match each other's freak so well...... the most horny, insatiable romance and sex you've ever seen!!! Being so clingy with each other,, maybe even holding hands in public or feeling so pleased when you're mistaken for a couple when you're out on dates (café dates, bookstore dates, even a stroll through the town). Those kind strangers who complimented you are completely unaware of the fact that that's your stepbrother and just minutes ago he had you pressed against the bathroom stall wall. :3
Or when your classmates at school try to ask you out on dates and you always tell them your heart belongs to someone else. Some of them are irritated. Surely the guy you're dating now can't be all that great. What's so good about him that you always seem to swoon and giggle dreamily whenever you talk about him? And the answer to that is everything; you love everything about your boyfriend (stepbrother). <3 omg omg what if,,, school dance and you and Skully slip out halfway through to have your own little party..... waltzing under the moonlight, getting ice cream late at night, and of course tearing each other out of your formal clothes in a feverish hurry to kiss and fuck and feel good,,, hardly able to get everything off, so you're just fucking partially clothed. >:D always going at it like rabbits.....
Oooo and then there's the day when he's finally successful in knocking you up. Waking up with horrible morning sickness and, though he feels bad and wants to help you feel better, he can't stop himself from getting excited. Is this what he thinks it is???? :O somehow your libido is even more insatiable when you're pregnant..... and you're so impatient,,, pushing him down on your bed and getting all huffy and pouty because you missed him (he was only gone for thirty minutes) and want to feel him inside you,,, doesn't he want to be close to you and the baby!! >_< riding him and all he can do is admire you from where he's lying on his back, so utterly whipped for you and your pretty pregnant belly, gently rubbing your hips or placing his palms on your bump. No one can know it was him who knocked you up even though you both desperately wish you didn't have to keep your love so secret. :( it's just,,, in a town as small as this one, in which people have such close-minded views, no one would ever understand or accept your love.
But one day you won't have to keep it hidden hehe. And sometimes he gets jealous when people openly ogle at you or try to hit on you, so sometimes he leaves hickeys and marks in places that are hard to cover up out of envious frustration. He just can't help it!!! But you love your stepbrother, and every part of him, even the most messiest ones, are wonderful in their own ways.
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