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spencereliotwinchester · 3 years ago

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That Summer Storm Chapter Two

Title: That Summer Storm Chapter Two

Chapter Title: Once Upon a Midnight Dreary

Author: Kat

Reader Gender: Female

Word Count: 2k

Series Summary:

Jensen kept his eyes on the floor, but nodded his understanding. He was too scared to look up into the guard’s face; he didn’t even trust his voice not to break. He didn’t look up until he heard the click-lock sound of his door. The room was very small. Along one wall was a set of metal-framed bunk beds. The far wall had a small desk with a stool. Opposite the bunk beds was a toilet and sink.

He sat down on the bottom bunk, head in his hands. I shouldn’t be here, I’m only fifteen, the thought ran through his head on a loop. This was not how his life was supposed to go. Jensen rubbed his knuckles into his forehead, hard. The sobs of his mother would haunt him. It had been all he could hear the entire van ride back to juvenile hall.

Warnings: There will be feelings!

Chapter Warnings: Solitary Madness, anxiety attack

Catch Up HERE

A/N: Little bit longer of a chapter. Next one may be a bit shorter. Please please please reblog or let me know what you think!!

Character: Jensen Ackles

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Tags:

@iwantthedean@lyarr24@janicho88@deans-baby-momma@sandlee44@mrswhozeewhatsis@blacktithe7@torn-and-frayed@the-jette-blog@supernatural-jackles@sacriceria@siospins@negans-lucille-tblr@eve-loves-apples@myinconnelly1@mariekoukie6661@stoneyggirl2@thisisallicansay@jjrp-obsessed67@amyzombie1013@mrskcreeves95

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The door click-locked shut and Jensen pressed himself into the corner of the room. He was hyperventilating and failing to calm himself down. Pressing his entire side into the cool wall and squeezing his eyes shut, Jensen tried to block out everything except the feeling of the wall. It barely registered that the door to the room opened and shut again.

“What are you doing?” It was the same voice that came to his rescue out in the yard, though it sounded reproachful. Padalecki moved around the room for awhile, pacing, then Jensen heard the top bunk bed creak. “Don’t let Roger catch you like that. He’ll throw your ass in solitary-”

“There’s too much space!” Jensen gasped. He slid down the wall, crouching in the corner.

“Jesus, did Tito dose you or something?” The bed creaked again, then there were footsteps coming toward Jensen.

Jensen started trembling, thinking back to Padalecki’s words: “he’s mine.” He’d heard stories about detention centers, stories that made his skin crawl. Now here he was, about to live through it. Instead of the rough hands Jensen had expected, a blanket was wrapped around him, tightly. The pressure around his body let him relax, finally. Jensen opened his eyes and was met with the hazel-brown eyes of his roommate.

Padalecki was tall, taller even than Jensen. He was lean and well built though. His eyes were hard, though, unkind, which was completely unmatching his actions. Padalecki had the blanket in his hands, pulling it as tightly as he could around Jensen’s body.

“Chill out, will you, Jensen? Fucking stupid name, by the way,” Padalecki said, rolling his eyes. He tied the blanket and moved away from Jensen, climbing back up to the top bunk.

Jensen moved to his bunk, slowly. He curled up as close to the wall as he could. He pulled the blanket tightly around him.

“It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea, that a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabel Lee; and this maiden she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me,” Padalecki’s voice was soft as it drifted from the top bunk. “I was a child and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea, but we loved with a love that was more than love - I and my Annabel Lee - With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven coveted her and me.”

Padalecki read the entire poem in his soft, calming voice. By the end, Jensen’s breathing had finally returned to normal and he felt better than he had since he’d been arrested.

“Thanks, Padalecki,” Jensen whispered; he was unsure if Padalecki had even heard him.

“You can call me Jared,” came a few minutes later.

--May 1996--

Life at Travis County Correctional became a mundane routine for Jensen. Monday through Friday they had school and on the weekends they had more recreational time, but the schedule never deviated. Jensen and Jared had even fallen into a nightly routine, at nine pm they were sent to their room and had one hour of quiet time before lights out. They would get into their respective bunks and Jared would quietly read from his one and only possession: The Complete Tales & Poems of Edgar Allan Poe. They’d gone through the whole book at least three times, but neither of them seemed to care.

Late one night, Jensen was suddenly startled awake by the sound of laughing. It started as a low snicker but quickly worked itself up into shrieks. Jensen scrambled out of bed to find Jared sitting at the desk. He turned quickly and locked eyes with Jensen. There was no mirth in his laughter and his eyes were black and dangerous looking. Jensen’s heart was suddenly in his throat and he backed up until he came into contact with the door.

“Jared?” Jensen’s voice quivered in fear.

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious of forgotten lore - While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door…” Jared’s voice was suddenly smooth, even, and it scared Jensen even more. Jared pointed a finger at Jensen, indicating to him to continue.

“‘Tis some visitor,’” Jensen squeaked, but his voice failed him. He turned and pressed the emergency call button that was located to the right of the door. Jared started laughing again, low and evil. He was still laughing when Barney, the night guard, came through the door. Jensen threw himself into the corner.

“There better be someone…” Barney’s voice died out as his flashlight fell on Jared, still laughing maniacally.

Barney called into his radio for backup and it was quick to arrive. They carted Jared off, but Barney stayed behind. He was a middle-aged black man, with kind brown eyes, and a little extra weight around his middle. His radio crackled, but Jensen couldn’t understand a word that was said.

“Come on, let’s go,” he said, helping Jensen to his feet.

“What?” Jensen’s brow furrowed.

“We gotta toss the room for drugs.”

Barney silently led Jensen through a labyrinth of dark hallways then through a door marked “Pod S.” A guard at a desk glanced up at Barney, nodded, and went back to his book. Barney prodded Jensen through a barred gate. They were now in a dead-end hallway with doors on either side. Barney opened door number one and lightly pushed Jensen inside. Barney gave him a sad, almost guilty look, before shutting the door. It click-locked with a finality that scared Jensen.

The only reason he wasn’t shrouded in complete darkness was the window in the door. The room he was in was small, much smaller than his normal cell. Everything was padded and the only furniture in the room was a small cot on the floor. A low rumble of thunder startled him and he wished he were back in his normal cell. Within minutes the building shook and shuddered from violent crackling booms of thunder. Jensen curled himself on the cot and wrapped the blanket around himself as tightly as he could.

He couldn’t sleep with the raging storm outside and his heart was still hammering from what had happened with Jared. Jensen looked around the padded room. Another clash of thunder. Jensen wondered what time it was, he wondered how long they were going to leave him here, and he wondered why they’d left him here. Jensen closed his eyes and started humming, trying to drown out the noise of the storm raging outside.

The storm was still going full force when the fluorescent lights clicked on. Six am. Jensen sat up on the cot, wrapping the blanket more tightly around himself. Soon, the door would unlock, and Roger would take him to breakfast. Jensen would welcome the sight of even Roger’s unfriendly face instead of the white padded room he was in.

Jensen counted the minutes until seven am. Nothing happened. At seven forty-five, there was a clicking sound. Jensen walked over to the door, expecting it to open. Instead, a rectangular hatch in the door was opened downward, creating a little table and a tray of food was set down.

“What’s happening?” Jensen yelled.

There was no response.

Eventually, the tray of food was taken out of the door and the hatch was closed and locked. Jensen paced the small room, seven steps, turn, four steps, turn, seven steps, turn, four steps, turn, seven… Alone. His thoughts matched in time with his steps. Completely alone. No one will come for you. All alone.

“Alone…”

Jensen froze. It had been a whisper, sure, but… It couldn’t be. Jensen took a deep, shaky breath. Get hold of yourself, Ackles, he thought. He rubbed his knuckles hard into his forehead. It was nothing, his mind was playing tricks on him.

“It is nothing but the wind in the chimney,” Jensen recited out loud. “It is only a mouse crossing the floor,-”

“Or it is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp!”

Jensen whirled around, his heart hammering in his throat again. The door to the padded cell was open and in the doorway was an old gentleman in a collared shirt, an argyle sweater vest, pressed pants, and loafers.

“Poe at his best! That’s one of my favorites as well. Care to have a seat, Jensen?”

Jensen slowly sat down on the cot, not taking his eyes off the man. Jensen realized the room was very quiet now, the storm must have died down while he was lost in his thoughts. The man brought with him a stool as well as a briefcase and he sat down across from Jensen. A young woman brought in her own stool and sat down in the corner. The door closed and click-locked.

“My name is Dr. Langstrom and this is one of my students, Abigail. I want to talk to you about what happened last night, and I’ll need to take some blood,” the man introduced himself, then took a small journal from his pocket along with an expensive looking pen.

“Is Jared okay?” Jensen chewed on his bottom lip.

“Don’t worry, now are you scared of needles?” The doctor asked and he began to take some plastic wrapped items out of the briefcase.

“No, but, why are you taking blood?” Jensen asked, holding out his arm.

“Just make sure everything’s alright with you.”

Dr. Langstrom took an alcohol wipe and rubbed Jensen’s arm. With his tongue sticking between his teeth, the doctor squinted at the needle. Then he paused for a moment, and pulled out a package of gloves and put them on. He took the needle again and pricked it into Jensen’s arm and Jensen hissed. Then, Dr. Langstrom actually moved the needle around, attempting to find a vein.

“Ow!”

“Sorry, sorry, let me try again,” Dr. Langstrom said vaguely.

“Doc, the tourniquet,” Abigail prompted.

“Yes, yes! That’s right!”

Dr Langstrom pulled the strip of rubber from his bag and wrapped it around Jensen’s upper arm. His second, third, and fourth attempts were no better than the first, however.

“Um, Doc, would you like me to do that? I just finished my lab rotation,” Abigail spoke quietly from the corner.

“Of course Abigail, that would be wonderful. I haven’t drawn blood in fifteen or twenty years.”

Abigail put on a pair of gloves and switched places with the doctor. She adjusted the tourniquet tighter and then she calmly took the needle and palpated Jensen’s arm. With one smooth movement, the needle was in and blood trickled into the waiting vial.

“Now, Jensen,” Dr. Langstrom started after Abigail finished drawing his blood. “Can you tell us what happened last night? Did Jared take anything?”

“I don’t know. I woke up and he was laughing. I hit the call button and Barney came in,” Jensen explained simply, picking at a loose thread on his jumpsuit.

“That’s all?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jensen shrugged.

“Were you attacked? Did he bite you or spit at you in any way?”

“What? No,” Jensen’s worry bled into his words.

“Good, good. Are you feeling well? No feelings of euphoria or despair?”

“I’m fine,” Jensen said through gritted teeth. “What’s happening with Jared? Where is he?”

“Good, good. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you anything about Jared.”

Jensen mulled that over for a moment. Then, his bladder reminded him it’d been way too long since his last bathroom visit.

“Can I go to the bathroom?”

“I’ll let the guard know.”

Abigail and Dr. Langstrom gathered their things and knocked on the door. It opened for them and closed behind them. Then, the hatch opened.

“Present yourself to be cuffed, Ackles,” came a deep baritone voice.

Jensen slid his hands through the hatch and winced as handcuffs were tightened around his wrists. Jensen stepped back and the door opened. He was taken to a small bathroom and then straight back to the padded cell. All attempts at talking to the guard were met with stony silence. Once back in the room, handcuffs removed, Jensen sat down on the cot.

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cherienymphe · 5 years ago

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My Beautiful Annabel Lee (Loki Laufeyson x Reader)

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, BLOOD, mentions of DEATH, vampire!Loki, the setting/time period is ambiguous

➥ This is my entry for @sherrybaby14 prompt challenge. I took #19 under Steve for Loki.

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts | dividers by @firefly-graphics

summary: Half the town thinks Loki Laufeyson is a caring employer. The other half thinks he’s a murderer.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, Went envying her and me— Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

Your shoes clicked along the cobblestones as you approached the large and imposing mansion. Your ears perked up as the wrought iron gate shut behind you, but you otherwise paid it no mind. The estate was grand, more impressive than anything you’d ever seen in your life, and you were once again reminded of your situation.

It was only days ago that a tragic fire claimed the life of your family. You were the sole survivor. Some would say it was miraculous, but you were sure that wasn’t the word you’d use. Ever since you’d come of age, you had provided for them. Your father had been bedridden, and your mother had no choice but to care for him full time. That left only you to work and bring money and food home for them and your younger brother.

You had been at work, polishing your employer’s silver late into the night, when they’d gotten the call. You had been called into the foyer soon after and had thought nothing of it. However, you’ll never forget the look on Mr. Stark’s face as he relayed the awful news.

“Pardon?” you had said.

After all, you were sure that you had misheard him. Alas, you had not. He had gotten you to your house as soon as he could, but you were too late. When you arrived, there was nothing left to salvage, no one left to save…no one left to mourn.

You didn’t remember much after that, but Mrs. Stark had informed you that you’d fainted. Her expression was filled with sadness and sympathy as she pressed the cold rag to your forehead. You felt odd resting in one of their guest beds, but she had insisted you rest and to stay as long as you needed to.

However, the days that followed were a whirlwind of events that didn’t allow you to do either of those things. The house had been rented and you were horrified to hear from your former property owner that someone had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Even if you had wanted to rebuild on the property, you wouldn’t be able to. Mrs. Stark made it perfectly clear that you could stay as long as you needed to, but you didn’t feel right about it.

You had only gotten the job as a favor in the first place. You never felt that you were any good at it, and you didn’t want them to feel obligated to offer you a place to stay as well. Your worry eased a bit when a friend who came by to extend her condolences also mentioned a widower who was looking for help.

“Mister…Laufeyson?”

The name rung a bell, but you couldn’t remember why. It was only the day before you were set to settle onto his property did you remember why it sounded so familair. He and his wife had moved to town a few years back. It was the talk of the town for a while, but they kept to themselves and eventually other things caught people’s interest. At least, that was until his wife had mysteriously died.

You’d heard she’d grown ill, but you’d also heard whispers that suggested otherwise. Neither one of them had socialized much. In fact, you’d heard that her face had only been seen in public perhaps…twice? They were seen as different, and you knew how eager people were to start rumors about anyone different. Her death only spurred them.

Even Mr. Stark did not want you to go, but Mr. Laufeyson was paying you an impressive amount of money and allowed you to live on the property. It was almost a dream come true for a girl like you. You’d be crazy to refuse.

“Y/N, are you sure about this? You have a place and work here,” he offered one last time.

You sadly shook your head, tightening your grip on your traveling case.

“I appreciate the offer, but it just wouldn’t feel right. You knew my family, and that’s why I got the job. I’m on my own, now and I need to get used to that. I need to get acquainted with navigating the world without help,” you replied.

His expression was sad, and you were sure it matched yours. Everything had happened so fast. You felt that you didn’t even have time to grieve properly. You wondered if he and his wife did. After all, they lost friends.

“Alright,” he reluctantly relented.

You were sure you’d see Mr. and Mrs. Stark often. After all, they had money just like Mr. Laufeyson, and the upper class tended to mingle in the same circles. As you approached the intimidatingly large door, you thought to yourself that this seemed the exact type of place to host extravagant parties and the like, the kind Mr. Stark would attend.

It was grand and dark, and it made you wonder what Mr. Laufeyson was like. You wondered if he was a kind employer or if he was like a former employer of a friend of yours, Mr. Rumlow. She had told you horror stories about him, and although she had insisted she carefully walked on eggshells around him and had therefore never experienced his ire, you had never quite believed her. With a deep breath, you rang the doorbell.

“…and these are the rooms you’ll be tending to on the second floor of the house. The third floor is where Mr. Laufeyson resides and only servants he’s personally selected tend to his quarters,” Celeste explained.

She seemed like a sweet girl, and from what she’d told you, she’d been working for him since he’d first settled into town. She knew the place well. She knew the employer well too and for that you were grateful. She relayed what he liked to eat and what he didn’t like. He liked things cleaned by a certain time and he liked the linens washed on certain days. And there was to be absolutely no silver anywhere in the house.

He was a peculiar man indeed, but nothing like the rumors that had made their way through town. He was just a bit odd was all. You eyed the fancy dark curtains that covered the windows, noticing the complete lack of natural lighting.

“Where is Mr. Laufeyson?” you wondered.

It wasn’t strange for someone like him to be scarce while another servant showed you around, but with the size of the property, the two of you had been walking around for the better part of an hour. You’d seen no sign of him.

The bottom of her skirts swished along the wood floors as she turned to face you.

“He’s resting,” was her simple answer, face unreadable.

Your face pinched in confusion, but you swallowed your questions. You wondered if he was ill. After all, it was the middle of the day and he was resting? A sickness would sure explain a lot though. She continued and stopped at a room at the end of the hall.

“This is where you’ll sleep. There are two other girls who reside in this corridor, but don’t let that bother you,” she began, opening your door.

You followed her inside and blinked, dropping your luggage in awe at the sheer size of the room. Your eyes roamed over the decorative furniture and curtains. You were almost afraid to step on the expensive rug before you, and you eyed the door on the other side of the room.

“That is your bath. Every room in the mansion has one, so you don’t have to worry about sharing with the other girls.”

You wondered what kind of money Mr. Laufeyson came from. He seemed to be richer than Mr. Stark, and Mr. Stark was the richest person you knew. You could never imagine anyone richer than him. You stepped further into the room as Celeste neared the door.

“I’ll leave you to get settled. Take all the time you need. Mr. Laufeyson is very sympathetic to your circumstances,” she said as you turned.

Again, you blinked before slowly smiling, relieved at that.

“Thank you.”

She seemed to linger by the door for a moment.

“And Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss. None of us here get out much aside from the occasional shopping, but we all heard about the fire. I can’t imagine your pain…”

You swallowed, taken aback, but you nodded with a small ‘thank you’. You stared at the door as it closed behind her. You turned back around to fully take in the room.

There was a time when you could have only dreamed of being in a place like this, sleeping in a room like this. How unfortunate it was that it took a tragedy for you to end up here, but when you’d imagined being somewhere like this, you’d always imagined your family with you…

For the first time in days, you truly had time to grieve, but no tears came. No tears had ever come. Were you heartless? No. That couldn’t be it. Even now, there was a hollowness in your chest that hurt like no other. With a sigh, you grabbed your luggage and prepared to settle in. Maybe you would shed tears in your own time.

As you placed your case on the bed, you paused to really take in the room. The bedding beneath your luggage was a deep rich purple. The curtains matched, and as you looked around you noticed that there was hints of purple all throughout the room. Purely coincidence you were sure, but purple was your favorite color. You had never owned anything purple for it was an expensive color, but the rare moments you’d see a woman donning it in town, you were mesmerized.

You started to make yourself at home, laying your clothes out on the bed when you were distracted by the floorboards above you. You looked up just as they creaked again, and you figured it must be Mr. Laufeyson. You wondered when you would finally meet him.

You spent the rest of the evening getting acquainted with the rest of the staff and familiarizing yourself with the estate. Because Mr. Laufeyson lived on the edge of town, not only did he have so much yard space it overwhelmed you, but behind the house, just past the gazebo, was the forest. The trees were thick, and it was so dark even during the day.

Your younger brother would have loved it. He loved to be outside amongst the trees and the bugs. You were sure had you all lived in a place like this, he would have spent most of his days in there, and you would have been the one to summon him back home, no doubt.

When you finally made your way back inside, you noted that some of the other staff were still cooking. You approached a young man named Henry in the kitchens. He was the main cook.

“Why are you preparing food so late into the night?” you asked him, looking over the mess.

You clearly startled him for he flinched like you’d just struck him. His eyes were wide as he looked at you, almost in shock.

“You should not be here,” he said. “You’re not to see what is being prepared before it’s placed on the table.”

You frowned in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“We celebrate every time a new staff member arrives. A welcoming party,” he explained.

“Oh,” was your shocked reply. “How lovely. Celeste didn’t tell me…”

You thought it was nice. You’d never heard of an employer doing such a thing. Henry shooed you away, and you obliged, not wanting to distract him. The idea of a party being thrown in your honor, outside of your birthday, was strange to you. Even more so at the knowledge of the host. You were hardly in a celebratory mood, but you weren’t going to refuse. It was such a kind gesture, and your curiosity for your employer grew.

It wasn’t until you were lying in bed did it occur to you that you had nothing to wear. At least, nothing anyone else would find acceptable. You turned on your back, mulling over this new snag when the floorboards above you creaked. You frowned up at them, wondering why Mr. Laufeyson was up so late. The mansion was quiet apart from the sounds above you, and your eyes widened when you heard a soft thud.

You sat up wondering if Mr. Laufeyson was okay. No one had confirmed that the man was ill, you’d simply assumed so, but what if he was? What if he’d fallen? You pondered this, wondering if you should go up there. You quickly decided against it. Celeste said that only servants he had personally picked were allowed up there, so more than likely a servant or two resided on the third floor with him.

You pushed your worry aside and laid back down. It was strange sleeping in an environment you were unfamiliar with. Especially after what had happened. Your unease was expected. You forced yourself to push past it and closed your eyes. You didn’t hear anymore creaking or anymore thuds, but sleep eluded you yet again.

Your eyes flew open as a feminine shriek traveled through the ceiling. It was abruptly cut off, and you frowned, sitting up again. You stared upwards, listening for anything else, but all was quiet. In fact, you didn’t know how to describe it, but the stillness that filled the mansion made the silence seem much thicker now. You slowly laid back down, clutching the covers as you stared above you, but no other sound was made, and this time sleep claimed you with a vengeance.

The next morning you offered to go into town and get some fruit. Celeste offered to go in your place, but you had insisted, telling her you wanted to be alone after she offered to accompany you. You didn’t want to stay cooped up in the house. Everything still felt surreal, and you feared that if you dwelled on the tragedy for too long, then it would surely hit you all at once.

Something in you whispered that that wasn’t the only reason you wanted to escape the house. Goosebumps broke out over your arms as you recalled the strange occurrence from last night. You kept telling yourself that perhaps you had imagined the whole ordeal. After all, you had been on the verge of sleep. Not to mention, you’d gone through a great deal of trauma, trauma that you had still yet to process.

The walk into town was more than enough time to clear your mind and convince yourself that you had been imagining things. By the time you’d gotten half of what you came for, you had already forgotten about it. You heard your name being called as you browsed some apples and turned. A smile fell over your lips as you came face to face with Bonnie. You hadn’t seen her since the funeral, the day before your other friend Emily mentioned the job at Mr. Laufeyson’s.

She embraced you for a moment, and your shoulders sagged, welcoming it. It was nice to see a familiar face, even if it did remind you of what you’d lost. She pulled away with a small smile, eyes inquiring.

“How are you?”

“Good, I think. I’m trying to keep myself busy,” you said, gesturing to the stand.

She nodded. Her new employer seemed to be much better than Mr. Rumlow. Her features and posture were relaxed.

“That’s good. Where are you working now? I’d heard you’re no longer working for the Starks. That worried me, and I’m so glad I ran into you,” she said, looping her arm through yours.

“I just moved into Mr. Laufeyson’s house yesterday.”

She abruptly stopped, pulling you to a halt as well. Her eyes were wide as she looked at you, brows furrowed ever so slightly as if she were trying to process what you’d just said. You glanced around and noticed that a few people who’d heard you were looking at you strangely. Confusion filled you as you faced her again.

“Mr. Laufeyson?”

“Emily told me about the job. He needed another servant,” you explained.

Her lips flattened into a straight line as she glanced around before eventually pulling you along. You let her.

“Well, that’s no surprise. He needs to hire a new servant every month,” she quietly said.

You eyed her, intrigue and another unexplainable emotion festering inside of you. Something told you it was fear.

“What do you mean?”

She scoffed, but it lacked humor.

“It is just as I said. Every month word comes out that Mr. Laufeyson needs a new servant. Sometimes he is in need of a cook and sometimes it’s a simple handmaid. Last month he needed someone to tend to his yard…”

She looked at you with a straight face.

“He had already hired someone to tend to his yard two months prior.”

You blinked, glancing around as a chill passed through you.

“So, people quit. They move on…”

She chuckled, tightening her shawl around her shoulders.

“Yes, to another town, I suppose. It’s not like any of them are ever seen again,” she disdainfully replied.

You stopped this time, staring at her with wide eyes.

“You aren’t suggesting what I think you are…”

People parted as they walked around you two, and it felt strange to be having such a conversation in a typical setting.

“I’m only telling you what I know.”

“Bonnie, I’m sure their families would know if they just…went missing. They-.”

“Their families cannot know because none of them have any families left,” she slowly said, her words flying from her lips and hitting you square in the face.

You swallowed your words, heart skipping a beat.

“Sound familiar?” she whispered, raising an eyebrow. “Every single person he has hired was alone in the world. No family and hardly anything to their name. Some people think he’s caring to take in such people. The other half thinks he’s a murderer.”

You didn’t need to ask to know what side she was on. You didn’t know how to respond, and you let her pull you along.

“Come. I’ll walk you home…”

The walk to the mansion was quiet. You were lost in your thoughts, considering Bonnie’s words. You didn’t buy into rumors, never had, but Bonnie was a sensible girl. She always had been. She was never the type to believe in rumors either, and that was why her behavior surrounding Mr. Laufeyson worried you.

You both slowed as you approached the gate, eyeing it. You glanced at her and found her stone faced. She eyed the estate with something akin to revulsion before pulling away from you.

“Be careful, Y/N. You know I never believe anything silly like gossip, but knowing you are here worries me,” she said.

She embraced you one last time before parting. You watched her go, more worried than you were before you left that morning. Your feet were heavy as you stepped through the gate. Celeste opened the door and greeted you before you even made it to the first step.

“Come in, come in. I knew I should have gone instead, but you said you needed the solitude, and considering what has happened…”

You didn’t understand her behavior, but she continued before you asked.

“The welcoming dinner for you is tonight, and it will take hours to get you ready.”

She pulled you along, taking the groceries from your hand and passing them to a nearby servant.

“I didn’t think you’d take so long,” she said, pulling you up the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” you rushed out, almost out of breath as she hurried. “I ran into a friend.”

As you passed one of the halls, you were distracted by a tall silhouette standing at the end of it, and you did not hear her response.

You pressed a hand to your chest, struggling to breathe as the rest of the servants simply mingled around you. You could see why anyone working here would be excited to welcome a new staff member. As you looked around, you realized that most importantly it was a night for them to feel like something other than working class.

Dinner had already been served, and as hungry as you thought you were, you could hardly eat anything. Celeste was a master at lacing a corset, and that wasn’t exactly a compliment. You felt as if your ribs would break any moment, and at some point, you thought you were going crazy when you saw stars in your vision. No one noticed when you slipped away to get some air.

You slipped out the back door, leaning against the banister as you took slow deep breaths. The sky was dark, and you counted the stars as a way to slow your thoughts. You wondered when Mr. Laufeyson would show. He hadn’t come down to eat nor participate as everyone around the room expressed their happiness with your addition to the household.

You lowered your eyes and walked down the back steps. You recalled Bonnie’s words and wondered if there was truth to them. You hadn’t the bravery to bring it up to Celeste or anyone else. You’d only just gotten here and didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. You stepped under the gazebo with a small sigh.

Again, it hit you just how much your younger brother would have loved it here. You glanced around and pressed your hands to your stomach as your lips began to tremble. You blinked, and when you opened your eyes, your vision was blurry. A tear betrayed you and skipped down your cheek, and the rest soon followed.

How funny it was that you finally cried on what was meant to be a celebratory night for you. You were only here because of the tragedy that took your entire family. Had your family not died in that fire, you wouldn’t be here, and everyone inside wouldn’t be celebrating your arrival.

Well…

Almost everyone.

“Crying at your own party?”

You turned in shock, stumbling over your own feet as you did so. You reached out to steady yourself as you faced the newcomer, heart skipping a beat as your eyes met his.

“I’m sure there’s a song about that somewhere,” he continued, stepping under the gazebo with you.

Your eyes were wide as you took him in, the rest of what little breath you had having been taken away. He was the perfect picture of high society, and you were sure that your original assumptions were true. His clothing radiated a wealth that you were sure surpassed Mr. Stark.

His aristocratic features were sharp, only made more so by the dark hair that curled around his ears. His eyes resembled the emeralds you’d seen Mrs. Stark sport from time to time, and you were taken aback by their intensity. The dark clothes he wore suited him nicely and when you met his eyes again, his pink lips were curled upwards into a small smile. This man was not ill, at all. You suddenly remembered yourself.

“Mr. Laufeyson,” you greeted, curtseying.

He didn’t respond right away, green eyes running over you as he stepped around you. You didn’t take your eyes off of him and neither did he you. There was something in there that you couldn’t read, couldn’t place, and it unnerved you.

“So, you’re the new girl I hired.”

His voice was like velvet. You felt like you weren’t supposed to respond, so you didn’t.

“This celebration is in your honor, is it not?”

“It is,” you answered him.

He quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Then why are you not inside?”

“I needed some air,” you quietly replied.

A lot of good it did you. You could still hardly breathe, and you absentmindedly laid your hand just beneath your chest. Mr. Laufeyson eyed the gesture, and you watched as his eyes narrowed, zeroing in on your chest, and you felt your heart speed up. A low chuckle escaped him as he approached you.

“I do believe Celeste is trying to kill you,” he said.

You jumped when his hands landed on your waist. Your eyes were wide at the inappropriate position the two of you were in, but he didn’t seem to care. He turned you around, and you felt his breath on the back of your neck as his fingers danced over you.

Curiosity and unease both flowed through you like water, washing over you until you were a trembling mess. Had you judged him too soon? Was he not so nice, after all? His hands brushed over your back, and you gasped when in one swift movement, he’d gripped the corset through the fabric of your dress and popped the strings loose.

It wasn’t completely undone, just enough to allow you to breathe. And breathe you did. The rush of air that filled your lungs almost had you feeling faint. He seemed to sense this somehow, and he steadied you as you swayed.

“Thank you,” you breathed.

He helped you turn around, and when you felt steady enough, you took a step back. You looked up at him only to find his eyes already on you.

“I didn’t pick the corset. Only the dress,” he told you.

You blinked at him, glancing down at the blue fabric.

“You picked this?”

The dress had been on your bed when Celeste dragged you upstairs, and you had simply assumed Celeste had chosen it. He hummed a confirmation.

“Indeed. It belonged to someone I knew a long time ago,” he quietly explained.

You touched the skirts, mind whirling.

“Your wife?”

“No,” was his immediate answer.

Had you imagined it or had his lips curled in distaste ever so slightly?

“Well…thank you. It truly is a beautiful dress. I’ll clean it well and return it-.”

“There will be no need for that. It is yours,” he interrupted.

You blanched, fingers trembling a bit as they glided over the expensive fabric.

“No, Mr. Laufeyson. I can’t-.”

“No?”

You bit your tongue at his change in demeanor. He stepped towards you, head tilted to the side as he did so. He was sizing you up, and you suddenly remembered that the two of you were alone.

“No? Perhaps the other servants did not inform you, but that is a word that is never to be spoken to me.”

“I-I’m sorry. I meant no offense. Truly! It’s just that it is an expensive dress and-.”

“I know very well how much the dress is worth. I bought it, after all,” he coolly replied.

You swallowed your words and simply nodded. His gaze did not waver from you. It hadn’t once since he’d joined you, and while most might have found it flattering, it only caused a shiver to travel down your spine. You couldn’t shake Bonnie’s words.

You were still as he reached out to brush a thumb just under your eye, catching a stray tear. You blinked, surprised to find that you were still crying. He eyed his now damp thumb before resting his gaze on you once again.

“What troubles you so?”

His question shocked you. Had he forgotten so quickly?

“My family, Mr. Laufeyson… They… They died in a tragic fire just barely a week ago,” you whispered.

Recognition bled into his eyes and he let out a small ‘ah’. He hummed as he finally looked away from you, turning to look into the trees. A slight breeze passed by, ruffling his dark hair.

“I often forget the sadness that death brings to people.”

You frowned, eyeing his back.

“What do you mean? Have you never lost someone?”

A light chuckle reached your ears, but it was without humor.

“I have, but it was such a long time ago…”

He turned to face you.

“…when I do allow myself to remember it, it does still haunt me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you replied.

You glanced over your shoulder at the lively house.

“Will you be joining us?” you wondered, stepping away from him.

“I shall…in my own time. Perhaps you will enjoy yourself now that you are able to breathe,” he jested.

You felt your face heat up and thanked him one more time before leaving. You could feel his eyes on you as you neared the mansion. He was a strange man indeed, and although he seemed a bit odd at worse, Bonnie’s words refused to leave you.

“Where is Eliza? I have not seen her for days,” you wondered, stripping the bed.

“Celeste didn’t tell you? Eliza left town last week with some man she’d met,” Mary replied, judgement clouding her tone.

You froze.

“What?” you asked, almost disbelieving.

“Mm hmm,” she hummed, distracted.

Your movements were slow as you registered her words. Eliza had never struck you as the type, and part of you wondered why the brunette had never mentioned a suitor before. You and she had grown close in the weeks you’d been working here. She was funny and lively and had helped you in your grief quite a bit. It pained you to know she’d left without a goodbye.

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

Mary shrugged.

“I believe it all happened rather fast. She’d always been a bit of a floozy, that one.”

You frowned at the blond girl, but otherwise kept quiet. It had been weeks since you’d seen her, but Bonnie’s words rang in your mind once again. The first week you’d started, you’d heard that another servant by the name of Anna had run off. You had never gotten the chance to meet her. The week after that, Henry had supposedly gotten another job as a cook in another household. You’d been shocked to come downstairs one morning to find a red-haired man in his place.

Something about that whole ordeal had never sat right with you. Henry was a wonderful cook who often expressed his love for the Laufeyson mansion. He enjoyed working here. It had never made sense to you that he would just accept another job so easily. He had never said goodbye either.

That night, you decided to ask Mr. Laufeyson about it. It was a rare night when he came down to dine at the table. Celeste would normally serve him, but ever since you had been hired, he’d ordered you to do it. His eyes were on you as you entered the room with his food. His eyes were always on you.

“Might I inquire about something, Mr. Laufeyson?” you asked as you sat his food down.

He watched you as you placed each dish in its proper place on the table.

“You may.”

You took a step back from him, hands folded in front of you.

“Why did Eliza leave in such a hurry? She never even said goodbye.”

He mulled over your question for a moment, not giving anything away.

“Only she knows the answer to that, I’m afraid. She seemed eager to go…”

“…and Henry too?”

He froze, eyeing you from beneath his lashes as you waited on his answer.

“Fond of him, were you?”

“He was my friend. At least, I thought he was…”

He threw you a small smile, but it was not warm. He reached up to brush his fingers along your cheek, and you flinched. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly. It seemed like he was always finding some excuse to touch you. It was never in a harmful manner. A brush here or there, a hand on your back as he walked past you.

“Don’t fret over such things, Y/N. People come and go,” was his simple answer.

You frowned. You didn’t ask anymore questions, and as you made your way back to the kitchen, you wondered if that was truly how he saw the world.

That night, fatigue plagued you yet again, but for the life of you, you could not sleep. Could there be truth to the rumors, after all? You bit your lip, shaking your head at such thoughts. No. Mr. Laufeyson was odd, sure, but he struck you as no murderer. The idea was preposterous.

You turned on your side just as the floorboards above you creaked. It wasn’t uncommon to hear them sound at such a late hour. Your employer preferred the night it seemed. Nothing about that struck you as worrisome though. You sighed, wondering how you would lull your body into sleep when you heard a different noise from above you.

It was a voice. A feminine voice.

But she wasn’t speaking.

You blinked, feeling your frame heat up as the moan sounded from above you. You looked up at the ceiling with wide eyes as she moaned again, high pitched and drawn out. You weren’t naïve nor were you willfully blind. Mr. Laufeyson was an attractive bachelor. You knew that, like most men, he had needs, but you wondered who was up there with him. It wouldn’t be the first time a man of the house slept with a member of the staff.

As another gasp reached your ears, you wondered how you would sleep now. You gave up and tossed your covers back, deciding on stepping outside for a bit. It was late and almost everyone else was asleep, so you weren’t concerned about your inappropriate state of dress. You stepped into the hall and made your way downstairs.

The house was quiet, and it unnerved you. Your house had always been quiet during this time, but something about the silence in the Laufeyson mansion was different. Perhaps it had something to do with the knowledge of what was going on upstairs. The silence down here was a farce.

The night air was cool against your skin. It was quiet outside too, perfect for winding down. There were too many thoughts in your head, too many emotions swirling in your heart for sleep to successfully claim you. You needed to see Bonnie. You needed to speak with her again. You weren’t sure if you wanted to ease your fears or confirm them, but you needed to talk to someone.

You were pulled from your thoughts by a banging noise from above you. Confused and startled, your hurried down the steps and into the yard. You looked up, squinting your eyes, only for them to widen in horror at the scene before you.

Celeste was on the third floor, and she was banging on the window. She was screaming, maybe even crying, as she slammed her fists against the glass. You were frozen in shock at the horrific scene, but adrenaline finally hit you when pale fingers curled around her throat.

Your legs burned as you ran through the house, taking the stairs two at a time. You didn’t know what you were going to do. God, you weren’t even sure of what you saw. You were out of breath as you reached the third floor and almost fell as your foot caught on the bottom of your nightgown. You would have tumbled had you not been caught.

You gasped when you collapsed against a hard chest. A hard, bare chest. With a shock, you pushed away from Mr. Laufeyson, but his hands held you in place. You looked up at him with wide eyes, roaming them over his features as your mind fought to process what you saw.

“You are not permitted on the third floor,” he whispered, tightening his grip.

“I-I know, but-! I saw Celeste! She’s up here and she’s in trouble,” you told him.

He frowned at you, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“There is no one up here but me,” he replied.

You blinked.

“I saw her!”

“You saw wrong. It is late and you are tired. It was your mind playing tricks on you, nothing more,” he calmly replied.

“No! I know what I saw,” you argued, fighting to get past him.

His grip tightened even more, and you winced. A pained gasp filled you as he turned and pushed your back against the wall. He was so close that the smell of him invaded your nose, sweet and intoxicating. You blinked a couple of times, fighting to clear your mind.

“What did I say about that word?”

His voice was low and threatening, and tears sprung to your eyes. Even in the dark, you could see the vibrant nature of his eyes, hard and intense as he stared you down.

“Please, you have to believe me,” you begged. “Celeste is up here, and she’s hurt.”

His jaw ticked, and with a sigh, he harshly gripped your chin. His eyes bore into yours, and for some reason, you could not look away.

“You have been through a great deal, Y/N. You are plagued with fatigue. If you get some rest, you’ll feel much better.”

His words rolled off of his tongue like honey, sweetening your mind as you processed them. His voice was deep and soothing and reassuring. He let you go.

“I’m…sorry. You’re right. I’m only tired. If I got some rest, I’d feel much better.”

His hand brushed against your jaw, and you felt yourself lean into him. A small smile danced along his lips as he placed one hand on your shoulder, guiding you towards the stairs.

“I’ll walk you to your room.”

You let him, mind churning as you struggled to make sense of anything. He was right. You were so tired. You needed to rest. Sleep was the only thing on your mind as he helped you lie down. His green eyes were the last thing you remembered.

“I…do not understand.”

Confusion laced your tone as you gazed at Mr. Laufeyson. It was a rare early morning where he’d come down. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. You had been in the process of helping out in the kitchen when he’d summoned you to the parlor. You thought it would be about last night. You were so embarrassed that your fatigue had driven you to such antics. You were wrong.

“You will be residing on the third floor from now on. You are to clean the top floor instead of the bottom two now. You’ll move your things tonight and start tomorrow,” he repeated.

“I… Is Celeste ill or something? I thought that was her duty,” you wondered.

“Celeste is no longer with us,” was his simple reply.

You almost dropped the glass you were holding.

“What? Why? Where did she go?”

“She found another place of work.”

He seemed unbothered. You shook your head, a light scoff escaping you.

“Why did she not say goodbye? Why did she leave so suddenly?”

“Has my appearance suddenly changed to that of a brown-haired green-eyed maiden?” he wondered.

“No,” you said, swallowing.

“Then how can I answer that?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Laufeyson. I just… It took me by surprise, is all,” you replied.

He eyed you, and with a sigh, his demeanor softened.

“I know that you were rather close with her, but it is as I told you before. People come and go. You will grow used to that soon enough.”

You nodded and excused yourself. You felt his eyes on you as you did so, and you bit your lip. He suddenly called your name, and you turned to give him your attention. He eyed you again, and you wondered what he was thinking. He reached up to brush his index finger along his bottom lip as he studied you. He suddenly beckoned you over.

When you neared him, he gestured for you to turn around, and you did. Confusion filled you as he stepped closer. Goosebumps broke out over your flesh as his chest brushed against your back, and you prayed no other servant saw you. You could only imagine what they would think. You were surprised when he lowered his hands around your head, a gold necklace in his fingers. It was cool against your skin, and he brushed his fingers over your shoulders after he clasped it behind your neck.

“I thought it would suit you,” he said, turning you around. “I was right.”

He brushed his finger over the onyx stone that rested just in the crook of your cleavage. It wasn’t uncommon for Mr. Laufeyson to bestow gifts on the staff for no other reason than he simply could.

“Thank you, Mr. Laufeyson.”

You would have tried to refuse, like you had before, but ‘no’ was a word that was not to be uttered in his presence. He spoke before you had a chance to leave.

“I don’t see the use in waiting. Why don’t you move your things now and get started on the third floor right away?”

You gave a simple nod in reply, turning to walk away. You felt your heart sink as you deposited the glass in the kitchen. You wanted to speak with Bonnie again, and soon. Celeste had been working for Mr. Laufeyson for years. It seemed odd that she would leave so swiftly. It seemed odd that all of them did.

Climbing the stairs to the third floor brought back the memories of last night. You had been so sure of what you saw, but it was just your mind fooling you. Mr. Laufeyson was right. You had been lacking sleep, and you were still reeling over the death of your family. You had imagined the whole thing. Hadn’t you…?

As you cleaned for hours, you found it increasingly difficult to discern dream from reality. If your mind had been able to play such believing tricks last night, could it really be trusted? Perhaps you were growing paranoid. You’d only known the staff for a little over a month, but that did not mean you knew them well.

Maybe Eliza really was that flighty, and you had just been unaware. Perhaps Henry was not as happy working here as he seemed. Celeste had been working here for years. Maybe she had indeed grew tired. Maybe she wanted a change of scenery. You suddenly paused.

Before the whole ordeal, you’d heard a woman upstairs…presumably with Mr. Laufeyson. Why had it never occurred to you before that it could have been Celeste? It wouldn’t surprise you if Mr. Laufeyson sent her away after he’d gotten what he wanted. He didn’t seem the type, but then again, most men didn’t.

It was just as likely that Celeste left on her own after such a tryst. Perhaps she felt it was inappropriate. She could have regretted her actions, and that surely would explain the abrupt departure. You suddenly shook your head. No. Celeste seemed the type to leave a note. Why was it so hard to make sense of your thoughts?

You pushed the door open to Mr. Laufeyson’s room, taken aback by the sheer size. You had thought your room was impressive, but it was nothing in comparison to his chambers. It was the kind of boudoir fit for a king. Over the weeks you’ve been working here, you learned from some of the other servants that Mr. Laufeyson came from old money. Not the general definition of the phrase, but old as in descendant of royalty old. He wasn’t even from here, but from some foreign land. There were rumors that he used to live in a castle back home.

Part of you thought they’d been exaggerating, but the furniture, and the clothes and jewels he wore told you otherwise. Not to mention the gifts. There were currently three more dresses in your wardrobe that were similar to the one you’d worn that second night. You’d never seen anything like it. You fingered the necklace around your neck as you looked around.

A painting on the wall opposite his bed caught your attention, and your smile fell as you realized why. The rag in your hand fell to the floor with a soft thud, and your feet dragged along the expensive rug as you neared it. Your eyes were wide, lips parted in disbelief as you looked up at the portrait.

The woman in the painting was poised with an air of refinery and class you could only hope to possess. Her hair was intricately styled, and her makeup was simple. Her eyes seemed to look straight through you, complimenting her complexion nicely, but… The blue dress she wore was familiar, the onyx stone resting in between her breasts was familiar. Her face was familiar.

You stumbled away, knocking into the table near you. The vase wobbled and shattered to the floor, but you paid it no mind. Your heart was racing as you ran out of the room. You were sure that your shoes were loud on the stairs, but you didn’t care. As you stumbled onto the first floor, you saw no sign of Mr. Laufeyson, and you frantically grabbed another passing servant, inquiring about his whereabouts.

He told you that he was in his study. You must have been unable to properly school your face because he asked if you were okay. You didn’t respond, simply turning away and stumbling out of the door. It was late in the evening, much later than you thought, and you hadn’t realized that you’d been cleaning for so long. The sun was already setting.

It would be dark by the time you reached Bonnie’s house, but that was no matter to you. As long as you got there. Your breaths were short, and you could almost hear the blood rushing through your veins, heart going haywire beneath your chest. You couldn’t make sense of anything.

Why did that woman have your face? Who was she? More importantly, how did Mr. Laufeyson see you? He gave you her dress, and you figured it safe to say the other dresses were hers as well. Eliza had told you once that all of her dresses had been new while yours were not. Neither one of you gave it much thought. You gripped the necklace around your neck as you stumbled up the road. What did any of this mean?

Bonnie’s lights were on as you approached her house, and you sighed in relief. She resided with her parents, and you knew they liked to turn in early. You were happy that you were in luck. You stumbled to the door, falling against it with a thud. You were out of breath, panting as you banged on the wood. There was no answer, and you frowned. Had Mr. Rogers kept Bonnie late tonight? You rang the doorbell a few times before eventually trying the door. They often left it unlocked, and tonight was no different.

The sitting room was empty, but it was lit. The house wasn’t just quiet, but still. The house was very still. This didn’t seem right. You stepped inside, shoes clicking against the floor.

“Bonnie?”

There was no answer, and your confusion grew. You swallowed, forcing your heart to slow as you neared the kitchen. It was also lit.

“Bonnie…?” you called again only to be met with silence.

You were not prepared for the scene you were met with. A terrified gasp tore from your throat, stomach churning as you fought to stay conscious. You stumbled back, twisting your ankle in the process, but you did not feel the pain.

Pale arms were wrapped around Bonnie, holding her upright as her head lolled back against a broad shoulder. Her eyes were open, staring lifelessly towards the ceiling as blood ran down her neck and over her chest, staining her pink dress. He lifted his head with a satisfied sigh, eyes closed as his tongue darted out to swipe along his red stained lips.

He let her go, and she dropped to the floor with a thud. You released a shaky breath as your eyes met familiar green ones. He reached up to wipe his mouth, casually stepping over the bodies of Bonnie and her parents. You hurriedly backed away, wincing as you did so. The front of his white shirt was red, stained with the blood of your friends.

“I had hoped to go about this in a much better manner…but you didn’t leave me much choice,” he said, chest heaving.

You sprinted towards the door…but he blocked your path. You stumbled back in shock, a gasp leaving you as you looked behind you and back at him. How did he do that? He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Your face may hide your true thoughts, but your heart does not.”

You turned to run, but he pulled you to him. One hand pressed into your stomach, pinning you to him while the other wrapped around your throat. You struggled in his grip, but his strength did not waver. In fact, it seemed like your fight wasn’t affecting him in the slightest.

“I should have altered your memories like I had originally planned…then we wouldn’t be in this mess,” he sighed, pressing his cheek against yours.

Tears sprang forth.

“Please…please don’t kill me,” you begged.

How strange. Part of you craved death, craved to be reunited with your family, and now your friends. But a much bigger part of you wanted to live, and you didn’t even know it until now.

“I could never kill you, never hurt you. No, not you. Never you,” he whispered, burying his face into your neck.

You could feel the blood from his shirt soaking into your back, and you cried harder. He gently shushed you, but it had no effect on you. His lips grazed your ear.

“You saw her…didn’t you?”

You were still as his grip tightened. You both knew who he was talking about.

“I loved her, you know. I worshipped her even,” he quietly continued.

You had no choice but to listen.

“She died in my arms…from consumption.”

You closed your eyes, heart clenching.

“I should have turned her when I had the chance, but she refused…and I listened…”

He chuckled, but it lacked humor.

“I won’t make that mistake again,” he spat, tightening his hand around your neck. “I tried so hard to forget her, marrying maiden after maiden, but they all became nothing more than food in the end.”

You gasped, reaching up to claw at his arm. There was a distinct lack of a heartbeat against your back, and you wondered how you hadn’t noticed before.

“The first time I saw you, I thought that all these years on this earth had truly driven me mad. I killed my wife, Isobel, that same night.”

You squeezed your eyes shut.

“I consulted with my sister and my brother, convinced I was losing my mind, but they informed me that some cultures believe in this thing called reincarnation.”

He started walking away from the door, forcing you to as well, and you started struggling again.

“I thought to myself how…miraculous that was. Her name was Y/N too. I mulled over so many plans of action, so many different ways to have you…”

“Please,” you cried as he forced you to your knees, lowering with you.

“I knew that I had to get you alone first. Truly alone…in every sense of the word.”

You frowned, his words confusing you. Something akin to dread filled your gut.

“I know it weighed heavily on your mind, but allow me to ease your thoughts…”

He brushed his lips along your cheek in a soft kiss.

“They died quickly.”

A choked cry fell from your lips, fresh tears spilling over as pain twisted your chest into knots. Your struggle was anew, but it was useless as his hold only tightened. The hand on your neck slowly traveled to your hair, fingers tangling at the root as he jerked your head to the side. You knew what was coming, and you screamed, pushing against him, but his hold was immovable.

You gasped, a sharp pain tearing through your neck as his teeth pierced your skin. You winced, vision blurry from the tears, but the first pull of blood had you falling limp in his arms.

Heat flowed through you like no other, and your vision swayed. You felt like you were floating through the air, a sense of euphoria coming over you that you’d never known was possible. Your lips parted, and a soft moan escaped them. Mr. Laufeyson pulled away with a dark chuckle, the hand on your stomach sliding upwards to the top of your dress.

“Yes,” he purred. “That’s it.”

He ripped it straight down the middle, and your breasts spilled out of the torn fabric. He covered one with his hand, and you felt yourself rub your thighs together as he kissed along your neck, lips leaving a bloody trail in their wake. He turned your head towards him and covered your lips with his own.

You couldn’t make sense of anything, but just as you were starting to, his teeth sank into you again. You moaned as a few drops of blood spilled from your lips, escaping his hungry mouth. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling your chest against his. Your back hit the floor as he continued to drink from your lips, and he wasted no time in settling between your legs.

His hands were swift and purposeful as he tore your dress off of you in pieces, his own attire following suit. You shivered beneath him, and he pulled away to look down at you. He reached up, smearing the blood along your lips before he lowered himself. Your fingers were tangled in his silky strands as he descended, marring your body with sharp nips.

He threw your leg over his shoulder, and you cried out as his teeth broke the skin on the inside of your thigh, so close to your heated core. Your back arched off of the floor, unable to handle such pleasure. He pulled from you again and again and again until you were nothing but a shaking mess beneath him.

Something rumbled in his chest, something inhuman as he crawled back over you. His mouth was parted in anticipation, and the sharp incisors winked at you just before they sank into your neck once again. It was perfectly synchronized with the snap of his hips against yours. Your nails clawed at his back, and you could feel blood beneath your fingertips.

He only moaned into your neck in response, hips curling into yours over and over. The pleasure he was bringing you made the room spin, only heightened by the feel of his teeth in your throat. You found yourself crying again, not from pain, but from the intensity. You felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. Part of you understood what was happening, that he was taking pleasure from you in more ways than one. You were unable to stop yourself from clenching around his unrelenting member as he claimed you in every possible way.

You tried to focus on anything to ground yourself. The feel of his flexing back, the soft strands of his hair, or his chest that pinned you beneath him so effortlessly. The way his fingers dug into your flesh, pressing so hard against the skin you were sure to be sore. You felt something building in you, but you didn’t know what. It scared you, and your heart started to race.

He lifted his head to look down at you, and you opened your mouth to voice your confusion.

“Mr. Lauf-.”

“Loki is what I want to hear from your lips from now on,” he interrupted, blood staining his teeth.

Through your ecstatic haze, you recalled a servant or two mentioning his full name. Loki Laufeyson was what they had told you.

“Loki,” you gasped, clenching around him. “I…”

He shushed you, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbone as he sped up his pace.

“Embrace it,” he whispered.

He brushed his nose along your chest as his hands danced along your sides. He hummed, a low chuckle escaping him just before he sank his teeth into the swell of your breast. A chorus of moans flew from your mouth as you clenched around him, hard. You couldn’t catch your breath, chest heaving as he did not stop his sexual assault nor his bloody one.

Your back arched up off of the floor, pushing your chest further into his mouth while one hand pressed into the small of your back, holding you to him. The other pressed into the floor, holding himself up as he drank from you. You twisted your fingers into your hair as your head just barely grazed the floor. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, lips trembling.

You fell back to the floor, and Loki fell with you, still inside of you. His eyes were ever watchful as you struggled to catch your breath. He grinned at you, lips newly stained as he reached up to brush his fingers over your glistening face, the other grazing your quivering form.

“Rest now, my love. I will still be here when you awake for I will not lose you again.”

You fought as hard as you could, but your body betrayed you and obeyed his words.

tags: @sherrybaby14 @xoxabs88xox @darkficreposter @mcudarklibrary @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @readermia @jtargaryen18 @notyourtypicalrose @nickyl316h @opheliadawnwalker3 @readermia

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #dark!loki #vampire!loki #vampire loki #dark fic #marvel fanfiction

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thenighttrain · 4 years ago

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books read in 2020

i’ve been keeping a list and decided i want it on my blog too! everything is on my goodreads too. follow my book blog @thesonofneptune! bolded are my favourites

Middlegame by Seanan McGuire ★★★★

Stardust by Neil Gaiman ★★★

Into The Drowning Deep by Mira Grant ★★★★

Heart of Flames (Crown of Feathers #2) by Nicki Pau Preto ★★★★

Reverie by Ryan La Sala ★★

Crown of Feathers (Crown of Feathers #1) by Nicki Pau Preto ★★★

Soul in Darkness by Wendy Higgins ★★★

The King’s Dragon (Fire and Valor #1) by W.M. Fawkes ★★★★

Blue on Blue by Dal Maclean ★★★★

The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut #1) by Mary Robinette Kowal ★★★★

The Watchmaker of Filligree Street (The Watchmaker of Filligree Street #1) by Natasha Pulley ★★★

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow (The Watchmaker of Filligree Street #2) by Natasha Pulley ★★★★

The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley ★★★

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Garcia-Moreno ★★★★

Girls of Paper and Fire (Girls of Paper and Fire #1) by Natasha Ngan ★★★

The Prince’s Dragon (Fire and Valor #2) by W.M. Fawkes ★★★★

House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig ★

The House of Binding Thorns (Dominion of the Fallen #2) by Aliette de Bodard ★★★

The House of Sundering Flames (Dominion of the Fallen #3) by Alliette de Bodard ★★★

The City of Brass (The Daevabad Trilogy #1) by S.A. Chakraborty ★★★

The Catch Trap by Marion Zimmer Bradley ★★★★

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games #0) by Suzanne Collins ★★★

Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders (Dominion of the Fallen, #3.5) by Aliette de Bodard ★★★★

The Last Smile in Sunder City (The Fetch Phillips Archives #1) by Luke Arnold ★★★★

Northern Wrath (The Hanged God Trilogy #1) by Thilde Kold Holdt ★★★

The Unspoken Name (The Serpent Gates #1) by A.K. Larkwood ★★★

Infernal by Mark de Jager ★★★

The City We Became (Great Cities #1) by N.K. Jemisin ★★★

Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb #1) by Tamsyn Muir ★★★

Deathless (Leningrad Diptych #1) by Catherynne M. Valente ★★★

The Poppy War (The Poppy War #1) by R.F. Kuang ★★★★★

The Dragon Republic (The Poppy War #2) by R.F. Kuang ★★★★

Foundryside (The Founders Trilogy #1) by Robert Jackson Bennett ★★★

Rivers of London (Rivers of London #1) by Ben Aaronovitch ★★★

The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi ★★★★

The Deep by Rivers Solomon ★★★

Ashes of the Sun (Burninngblade & Silvereye #1) by Django Wexller ★★★

The Century’s Scribe (A Fantastic Decade #1) by Brendan Walsh ★★★★

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuistonn ★★★

The Four Profound Weaves by R.B. Lembergg ★★★

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi ★★★

Blazewrath Games by Amparo Ortiz ★★★★

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune ★★★★

The Sword of Kaigen by M.L. Wang ★★★★★

Jade City (The Green Bone Saga #1) by Fonda Lee ★★★★

Jade War (The Green Bone Saga #2) by Fonda Lee ★★★★

The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo ★★★

The Rage of Dragons (The Burning #1) by Evan Winter ★★★

The Goblin Emperor (The Goblin Emperor #1) by Katherine Addison ★★★

The Conductors by Nicole Glover ★★★

The Wolf of Oren-Yaro (Chronicles of the Bitch Queen #1) by K.S. Villoso ★★★

When The Moon Is Low by Nadia Hashimi ★★★

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow ★★★

Each of Us a Desert by Mark Oshiro ★★★★

White Silence (Elizabeth Cage #1) by Jodi Taylor ★★★

The Rook (The Checquy Files #1) by Daniel O’Malley ★★★★

The Vicar and the Rake (Society of Beasts #1) by Annabelle Greene ★★★

Lava Red Feather Blue by Molly Rinngle ★★★★

The Bone Shard Daughter (The Drowning Empire #1) by Andrea Stewart ★★★★

Alif the Unseen by G. Willow Wilson ★★★

Carter & Lovecraft (Carter & Lovecraft #1) by Jonathan L. Howard ★★★

A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder (A Good Girls’ Guide to Murder #1) by Holly Jackson ★★★★

The Bear and the Nightingale (Winternight Trilogy #1) by Katherine Arden ★★★★

The Girl in the Tower (Winternight Trilogy #2) by Katherine Arden ★★★★★

The Winter of the Witch (Winternight Trilogy #3) by Katherine Arden ★★★★

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab ★★★

Tower of Mud and Straw by Yaroslav Barsukov ★★★

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Garcia-Moreno ★★

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children #1) by Seanan McGuire ★★★

The Changeling by Victor LaValle ★★★

Ring Shout by Djeli P Clark ★★★★

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid ★★★★

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson ★★★

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour ★★★

Dead Man in a Ditch (The Fetch Phillips Archives #2) by Luke Arnold ★★★

The Nightmare Thief (The Nightmare Thief #1) by Nicole Lesperance ★★★★

A Time of Dread (Of Blood and Bone #1) by John Gwynne ★★★★

Sleeping Giants (Themis Files #1) by Sylvain Neuvel ★★★

Dry by Neal Shusterman ★★★

Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky #1) by Rebecca Roanhorse ★★★★

The Searcher by Tana French ★★★★

Ink and Bone (The Great Library #1) by Rachel Caine ★★★

The Burning God (The Poppy War #3) by R.F. Kuang ★★★★

The Drowning Faith (The Poppy War 2.5) by R.F. Kuang ★★★★

The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar ★★★

Long Bright River by Liz Moore ★★

The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton ★★★★

Smoke and Stone by Michael R. Fletcher ★★★

A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan #1) by Arkady Martine ★★★

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan ★★★★

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke ★★★★

The Familiars by Stacey Halls ★★

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman ★★★★

Kings of Paradise (Ash and Sand #1) by Richard Neil ★★★

Red Sister (Book of the Ancestor #1) by Mark Lawrence ★★★★

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig ★★★★

The Kingdom of Back by Marie Lu ★★★

Not Even Bones (Market of Monsters #1) by Rebecca Schaeffer ★★★

Real Life by Brandon Taylor ★★★

Godshot by Chelsea Bieker ★★★

The Toymakers by Robert Dinsdale ★★★

The Humans by Matt Haig ★★★★

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell ★★★★

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa ★★★★

A Conspiracy of Truths by Alexandra Rowland ★★★

The Empress of Salt and Fortune (The Singing Hills Cycle #1) by Nghi Vo ★★

The Survivors by Jane Harper ★★★★

The Dry (Aaron Falk #1) by Jane Harper ★★★★

The Lost Man by Jane Harper ★★★

#leanne speaks #books

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queeniecook · 2 months ago

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January 25 - Part 2

The Sun came up and was halfway in the sky by the time Este and I reached BrindleBay. I drove us there, I don't see the point in taking the private jet for a trip like that. Plus Este has yet to be on a plane. I'm not sure how she'll handle it.

Jillian was still in her Pajamas at the house, which I don't blame her. She's been through a lot. I can't imagine going into labor in the middle of a snowstorm and having to seek shelter in an abandoned house. Not to mention what happened after that. It's a miracle she and Slade are healthy.

I told her I'd watch Slade while she cleaned up for the day. Este found toys in the nursery, so she was good for about a half hour.

He's a cute little guy. It's a bit weird. Holding the baby of a man you used to date and have really strong feelings for and will always care about - but I'm happy for him and Jillian too.

"I bet you're going to be a heartbreaker when you're older." I told Slade softly as I rocked him. I glanced down at my own child, who was busy playing with a harry puffer toy.

~A half hour later

"Don't get me wrong, we're all glad James helped you. But don't you think it's kind of weird he somehow knew were you where?" I asked Jillian after she filled me in on what she remembered from the night Slade was born.

Meanwhile, Este was making friends with Annabel Lee. I smiled briefly at that before looking back at Jillian.

"I guess I haven't really thought about it much because I've just been grateful my son and I are both alive." She admitted to me. "It is kind of odd."

"Yeah, he don't live here. He lives in Forgotten Hollow which is over an hour away." I told her, I remember the trips well due to my time going to see Caleb there. That seems like a lifetime ago now.

"Maybe it was just God's way of working things out?" Jillian asks, glancing down at Este and her cat.

"It could be. Just...be careful around James. Please." I requested. I don't trust that warlock at all. I'm sure she's seen a different side of him but Caleb has known him longer than the rest of us. He don't trust James and that's good enough for me.

About that time, Jillian's Mom- Denise Ambrose arrived. I had yet to meet her and I instantly liked her. It made me miss my Mom. I wish she had gotten to meet Este.

"You really do need to talk to Dakota. The longer you two don't talk, the longer it'll fester. The uglier it can be." Denise reminded her daughter after she set the table with a dish she made in an instant pot.

"I agree with your Mom, for the record. There's time I've wasted fighting with Caleb and I wish I hadn't wasted it now." I commented. Like after we found out Liberty is a "alive" and is a vampire. I didn't talk to my husband for weeks and it was while I was pregnant with our daughter.

"I know admitting you were wrong can be uncomfortable, honey but you need to." Denise said after sitting down to join us.

Jillian shoved a bite in her mouth to avoid saying anything.

"Both of you could of handled the situation better but nothing goes smoothly in the heat of the moment. You two love each other, it's time for talking and making up." Denise finished her thought before taking a bite of her own food.

I almost cried a little. If my parents were around, maybe I'd avoid some mistakes but then again, are kids ever good at listening to their parents? Even when they're older? Still. I miss them. Jillian is blessed to have both of her parents. I hope she knows that.

<-previous

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takerfoxx · 4 years ago

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Notes on Restless

A day overdue, but here it is! My thoughts on writing Restless.

Restless is, in many ways, the most important arc in the story, not because it is the most plot or character significant (though it definitely is very important to both), but because it was one of the first, if not the first story arc I planned out, and have been cooking up in the back of my mind and working toward ever since this story started. And, as indicated by the title, it is one big reference to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode Restless, which is my favorite episode and also featured all of the main characters trapped in their little dream worlds.

What can I say; I like dream sequences!

In fact, and I know I have mentioned this a few times already, but it bears repeating the first chapter of this arc was literally the very first scene I thought up for this story, back when I was still in post-episode 9 depression and wanted nothing more for Kyoko and Oktavia to reunite somewhere and be happy together (well, the story definitely gives us the former, but, um, not really the latter, because I am still a sadist). If memory serves, my original vision had the two of them and Mami relaxing in a fantasy-world hot spring that had a bunch of big crystals everywhere (because I like crystals), only for them to be interrupted by the sound of something moving nearby, and, upon inspection, they would find the doll version of Charlotte watching them.

Obviously that scenario’s gone through a lot of fine-tuning, especially when it comes to Charlotte. And the crystals got moved to the end of the story after the hot spring had been removed, but hey, they still made the final cut. Regardless, I did settle on a finalized version some years ago, and the final cut came out more-or-less exactly as I envisioned, down to Mami and Charlotte going off alone for some, ah, quality time.

The only new addition was Jerky’s little scene and the Sayaka/Oktavia flirting sequence, and, well, that happened. I honestly don’t know if I’m even allowed to say much about it without getting into trouble with someone, even though I wrote it, but let’s just say the time has come to finally kick things into high gear on that end.

Okay, so onto the dreams!

Kyoko’s dream was of course the one I came up with first, and yet ended up being the shortest. I guess it’s because while she’s white-hot mess of issues, she’s at least a straightforward white-hot mess of issues, and honestly, it came out more-or-less how I initially planned years ago, with very little addition.

Now, Mephisto gave us a pretty clear breakdown of what the individual girls’ dreams meant thematically when she started torturing them directly, but it bears repeating that Kyoko’s dream was mainly dealing with her poor reaction to loss (the concept, not the meme), specifically the loss of Sayaka to Oktavia, and her stubborn and yet misguided quest to bring Sayaka back at any cost.

We start with a perfect repeat of her dream from waaaaaaaay back from chapter five, when she was first waking up from being drugged. I was originally just going to begin with the continuation, but it had been so long since that chapter that I just copied and pasted the original dream so we can have it in its entirety, which included the all-important image of Sayaka dissolving into silver fishes.

From there it’s mainly Kyoko’s singleminded quest to find Sayaka at any cost. And from there, we see her think that she’s found her time after time, only to be disappointed, from thinking that Madoka was Sayaka (and it’s a shame that they never interacted more beyond that single episode, as they had a good dynamic), to nearly catching the silver-fish Sayaka only to have her torn away, to finally finding the fake fish-faced conductor Sayaka, further establishing her inability to accept Oktavia as not being Sayaka. The hole that her father left in her heart and how deeply she misses him even with what he did does come up, but she abandons catching him once Kyubey makes it clear that doing so is impossible, as well as showing that while she still loves her father, part of her still does not forgive him and she truly believes that he went to Hell.

Also, was that the first time I’ve had Kyubey show up and have original dialogue? Because it might be!

Mephisto’s first appearance has her occupying the same role that she would in everyone’s dreams, that of a surly gatekeeper. She’s a bouncer in Kyoko’s dream, a ticket-taker/ride operator in Sayaka’s, a hostess in Mami’s, and a receptionist in Charlotte’s. And in each one, she lets the dreamer pass while making it clear that doing so is probably a bad idea. Her design was a lot of fun, though there truly is no significance to her rainbow dreadlocks, punk-rock aesthetic, or denim outfit, other than I liked the way they looked. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Annabelle Lee and the dockengauts have very short appearances in the nightclub, as despite all the pain they’ve put Kyoko through, she is still so singleminded in her pursuit that she considers them nothing more than obstacles to be overcome, which Annabelle Lee would probably be annoyed to hear.

As for Mami’s weird striptease, well, Kyoko is just now having to grapple with her own budding sexuality, and it stands to reason that Mami would have been an early crush for her. The “ending” though shows that while she’s more-or-less okay with Charlotte, she is still very aware of how Mami died.

Like Annabelle Lee, Elsa Maria would have the same role in everyone’s dream, the same role she had in Annabelle Lee’s feverish dream during the Help arc, that of the person who points the way to what the dreamer is seeking while still advising against it, which is always ignored. Though don’t read too much into her working with Mephisto in the end, as it’s not the real Elsa Maria and Mephisto is still the one in control.

And what better place for Kyoko, now Ophelia, to start her quest to find Sayaka for real than the same train station that she originally lost Sayaka in?

Anyway, while this chapter came out basically as originally envisioned, there are a couple things that I wish I had included, firstly a scene where Kyoko loses her necklace while being swept along by the current for Sayaka to find it later, and to have the sound of the crying child from the beginning to continue throughout the whole chapter, showing that she still hadn’t forgotten her quest to find her sister, as impossible as it might seem now.

Sayaka’s dream had largely to do with her and Oktavia’s issues with personal identity, and the dichotomy that Oktavia feels at all times, but translated through Sayaka’s eyes. In fact, bits and pieces of both their personalities are present through the circus (and given that Rumia’s dream took place in a circus in Imperfect Metamorphosis, it does just seem to be a recurring theme with me). The whole knight in shining armor for Sayaka is obvious, as is her sense of righteous justice as what Lily did. But her dynamics with the various characters that she comes across, her memories in general, her growing attraction to Kyoko, and her annoyance at being addressed incorrectly is all Oktavia.

It’s the two Kyoko encounters I want the highlight. The first at the shooting gallery shows that while Oktavia does love Kyoko, she is getting quite fed up with the constant nicknames in place of her actual name, while the second in the dunking tank shows her growing concern that Kyoko’s dogheaded persistence is only going to keep getting her hurt until there’s nothing left, as well as show her growing sexual attraction to Kyoko as she is progressively more stripped.

Mami and Charlotte’s brief appearance was in part to get them on the dream, and so show that that while Oktavia cares for them deeply, she’s not nearly as worried about them as she is Kyoko, hence why they’re here so briefly. Also, them pushing Ticky Nikki around in a stroller, aside from being Nikki’s only appearance this whole arc, was also a tip of the hat to the original Restless episode from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as Giles’s dream had him and his girlfriend pushing a stroller around through a carnival in the middle of a graveyard.

The Freakshow was a mixture of the traumatic monsters both Sayaka and Oktavia had to encounter, from the various witch familiars and to Gertrud, the first witch Sayaka ever saw, to the witch form of Charlotte, who traumatized Sayaka deeply, to Brooklyn, who briefly showed up earlier and was sort of Oktavia’s nemesis in The Heist and targeted her specifically, which left a mark.

And that whole business with Annabelle Lee “pouring” Kyoko into the tank was to lean more into dream logic, where deeply personal fears tend to be translated through nonsensical imagery. I’ve had plenty of dreams where I’d “lose” a close friend or family member because they got turned into a jar of dried corn or something and I’d just be so devastated and obsessed with turning said corn back into my loved one, and it’d be very serious and emotional, and it wouldn’t be until I had woken up that I’d realize, “Dude, dried corn?” Plus, her guilt about stabbing Annabelle Lee was a reference to Sayaka’s own increasing guilt when she realized that she wasn’t the shining hero she had wanted to be.

The clown dance is pretty self-explanatory, in that Sayaka spent so much time killing witches and treating them like monsters only to become a witch herself. Plus, given how quick her downfall was, it serves to reason that she would think of herself as a clown. Plus, I just like Lily as a character, and wanted any excuse to use her as much as possible.

The whole bit with the train station acting as the loading gate for the roller-coaster is also fairly obvious. That’s where Sayaka became Oktavia, hence the cart turning into the wheelchair, or the coaster track leading into Oktavia’s barrier. I’m honestly not too thrilled about the coaster going through Genocide City, because while having it make an appearance makes sense, since it’s literally Oktavia’s first memory, but if I recall, I had the hardest time settling on a location for the rollercoaster to ride through before heading into the castle. I tried Freehaven, the outside of the high school, and returning to the circus itself before just settling with Genocide City, which honestly was chosen mainly because the deadline was coming up and I had to go with something. I guess it works though.

There really isn’t much to say about the reversed Kyoko/Oktavia fight, as it’s literally just a perspective flip of their final battle. Incredibly important and significant as it embodies the entirety of Sayaka’s aspect as the “Monster” of her dream and hammered in her connection to Kyoko? Absolutely. Has much that I can explain that isn’t literally sitting right on the surface? Nope.

We do get Mephisto basically spelling out Sayaka’s contradictory identity in her final days though, in which she was the valiant knight she always wanted to be, she was the damsel in distress that Madoka and Kyoko tried and failed to rescue, and she was the monster holding that damsel captive. No doubt that part was inspired by the meme of the Dragonborn princess paladin who was hired to rescue herself from herself.

From there, the “Monster” is slain, and the cute mermaid Oktavia von Seckendorff is born, the only time during her own dream that she makes a full appearance. She then is treated to a montage of Sayaka’s memories, but of course, they mean nothing to her.

However, I would like to point out what amounted to the payoff of a joke I had set up literally years ago. Readers of all my stuff might remember that way back in Rhapsody of Subconscious Desire, another story that took place in a dream world, Kaguya Houraisan was split into two identical copies of herself, called Head and Body, who encountered Oktavia swimming around in a large aquarium, who in turn shot them a rude gesture and swam off. Here, we finally see the inverse of that scene, which is why a couple of previously unseen twin girls showed up with no explanation.

Next is where the dreams start to converge. Oktavia finds Kyoko’s necklace (which, again, I wish I had included in Kyoko’s dream. Maybe in time I’ll go back and edit it in) and meets the silver fish’s from Kyoko’s dream, absorbing them and turning fully into the princess and, as a result, Sayaka Miki finally returns in full.

Funny thing about that.

At this point, I didn’t know how much the whole Sayaka thing would play out, and originally she would just be Oktavia in a dress. But after having Sayaka’s memories intrude again and again, I thought, “Huh, wouldn’t it be fun if she just became Sayaka again for a short time? Have a weird inverse of the Oktavia situation?” and went ahead and did it.

This choice led to…major consequences.

Mami’s dream is next, and despite being the one that I literally had planned out the least ahead of time, ended up being the most fun to write. Naturally, her dream dreams with her immense guilt over having been Kyubey’s poster girl for so long, helping him ensnare several innocent girls into his scheme as well as kill them off herself when they became witches. Also, it served as a little nod to Candeloro’s job as a baker in WN. Anyway, the whole thing was heavily influenced by Sweeney Todd, in that victims are misled into doing something they think is innocent, only for them to be gruesomely murdered and sent off to be turned into food.

The world of candles is just something I thought would be neat imagery, so infer from it what you wish. However, it is interesting to note that Mami is the only one to have a dream that features Annabelle Lee as the persistent antagonist that she is, showing up over and over to antagonize her. There wasn’t an intended reason for this, but come to think of it, with Kyoko focused on her endgame, Oktavia just wanting her friends to be safe, and Charlotte obsessed with what was lost, Mami would be the one most living in the nowness of their situation, convinced that she is finally in Hell for her sins.

In the restaurant, Mami is indirectly guilt-tripped by Shizuku for essentially abandoning all of her responsibilities to help Kyoko, and is then given a choice: abandon her quest and stay with her loved ones, or continue on with her “duty” despite all warning signs, thereby sealing her own destruction. Charlotte even goes so far as to beg her directly to not go on, but Mami refuses, saying over and over again that she is, “On the clock,” signifying how being a magical girl essentially took over her entire life after her parents’ death, and how full she threw herself into it to shield herself from her own loneliness.

And from then on, her fate is sealed.

While descending the long staircase, the father of Mami’s occasionally mentioned former crush Ryu Hagane shows up to chastise her for throwing her life way in making her contract, and then Mami’s actual love Charlotte shows up on the big TV to remind Mami of what she was now throwing away, and curiously, when she brings out the doll version of herself, it’s not to remind her of how Charlotte kill Mami (though the worms coming out of the doll’s mouth shows that Mami still hasn’t forgotten), but to remind her of how Mami had tried to kill Charlotte upon their first meeting, as her own guilt is more powerful than even the trauma from having her own head bitten off. Annabelle Lee emerges again, and in the process, the staircase is destroyed. Mami’s choice was made. There is going back.

Sure enough, when she enters the classroom, the marionette corpse of Kazuko Saotome (a reference to how she was killed and eaten in the Oriko timeline, in addition to just being very creepy) spells out to Mami’s face what an idiot she was for trusting Kyubey, how many lives she had ruined by doing so, finishing with Homura showing up to basically say, “I told you so.”

Annabelle Lee attacks again, and Mami is sent into a montage of battles she has fought since their disastrous adventure begun, but with each of her assailants being replaced at the last second by one of her friends, showing that even after forgiveness, she still feels like she’s their murderer, as well as driving home the point that in all of her battles to defend herself over the course of this story, she was still just fighting and hurting other magical girls, and regardless of which side they were on, they were all still victims of the same scam.

Annabelle Lee is finally defeated and put down, but there is no victory, only horror at what Mami had done. She flees, but finally finds herself in the Hell she always felt that she deserved, pursued by the zombified corpses of all the monsters that had defeated her, from Lily, who had stolen her mind and made her commit atrocities, to the wild girls, whom she had slaughtered, to the Worm, whom had killed her in her arrogance.

She escapes, but that just leads her back to the bakery, signifying that no matter what, the second she had made that contract she had been doomed. It didn’t matter if she was leaping through the sky in an extravagant outfit, effortlessly defeating monsters with her magic, or if she was sinking into her own despair with a darkening soul gem, it was all the same. She was just food for the Incubators, to be chewed up and discarded, thrown into the mouth of the Worm and run down by the same vehicle that had killed her parents.

She then wakes up in the hospital, reliving a twisted version of when she had been recovered from the car wreck that had taken her parents, taking her back to her first sin that still haunted her: only saving her own life with her wish and letting her parents die. And thus, she is turned into the same monster she had spent the last few years fighting: the witch, Candeloro.

The whole bit in the hospital was a twisted version of what it must have been like for the original Mami to wake up in the hospital and learn that her parents had died. No doubt Mephisto’s dream doctors would have continued to further twist the knife had Ophelia and Sayaka not violently intervened (which gives us a rare case of blood instead of mist). And Candeloro is brought into the party, and with a Cyberpunk reference no less!

Charlotte’s dream comes last, and in my opinion, is the most multi-layered. The bulk is focused on how bitter she is at having her perfect life with her wife stolen away and how many people she resents for it, her own feelings of helplessness at being unable to prevent it, and also it addresses her own guilt at having killed Mami to begin with and how much she fears the return of the Worm that did it, but also she seems to be the only person that has some subconscious awareness of how Homura is timelooping them over and over again, forcing them to relive the same torturous sequence of events (probably has something to do with Homura being the one who killed her after she ate Mami).

In the first loop, Mami is taken by Annabelle Lee, and Charlotte is totally helpless to stop her. This is pretty obvious: Annabelle Lee has been a thorn in her side since day one. It was because of her that they were ambushed in Cloudbreak and forced into their horrible adventure. And more directly, it was because of Annabelle Lee that they fell into the Etherdale to begin with, leading to them all being enslaved by Lily and Charlotte and Mami being forced to commit atrocities.

Also, it’s hinted that the city that Charlotte is forced to march through is the same one Kyoko had been following her father through in her dream, indicating that their minds are already crossing over.

The second is a little more complicated. Yes, Charlotte and Kyoko are on better terms. Yes, they’re getting along. Yes, Kyoko apologized and they bonded. But if it weren’t for Kyoko, then none of this would have ever happened. If it weren’t for Kyoko, Charlotte wouldn’t have lost her home, wouldn’t have been targeted by Reibey, and wouldn’t have to suffer being pursued by dockengauts and valks, two creatures that she has an acute phobia of. So there is still some hard feelings there.

The third is when Charlotte is forced to confront something about herself, that no matter how many people she blames, her own actions still played a part as well. Now she is the one riding the Worm. She is the one who cost Mami her life. And in the hospital, it was her misguided wish that cost her her mother, whether she knows it or not, as well as why she became a witch in the first place.

Couple notes about the hospital: first, the cheese slices do signify how Charlotte threw her wish away for something as stupid as cheesecake, but are also another reference to the original Restless, in which a man carrying cheese slices shows up in each of the characters dreams, just to be weird.

Also, Charlotte’s magical girl outfit was in part inspired by a 4koma MamiLotte doujin from before The Rebellion Story, in which Charlotte becomes human again and crushes on Mami big time. And her outfit consists of a double-breasted coat and skirt. Also there were parts taken from the character notes from Walpurgisnacht, in which one of her familiars is an early draft of Human!Charlotte, before Nagisa had been designed, and she’s depicted holding a staff topped with the wrapped candy charm.

The final loop is where Charlotte fully becomes Nozomi (a name I think I just took from another fanfic that gave her that name) and finally defeats the Worm, this time ridden by Homura Akemi. After all, Homura Akemi is the one resetting things over and over again, forcing Charlotte to relive the same terrible events over and over. And as for that rooftop meeting…well, explaining that would be telling, so infer what you will.

The next chapter is mainly spent playing catch-up, gathering all the characters together and pushing toward the final battle with Mephisto. Here, things get less symbolic and more character based, so there’s a lot less to explain. Ophelia’s path of destruction through Sayaka’s carnival and Mami’s school are basically in line with lucid dreaming, in that once you know that you’re in a dream, everything just feels so much less solid, leading Ophelia to take down the ravaged versions of Brooklyn and Annabelle Lee with ease. Also, that scene with her talking to the dying Lily was an American Gods reference, which featured a similar scene.

So let’s talk about the big thing with this chapter. Let’s talk about Sayaka.

Originally the plan was to go straight from Charlotte’s dream to the fight with Mephisto, but then I realized what a bad idea that is. I mean, Sayaka was back! It’s something that’s been hinted and talked about all through the story’s run, but now it’s actually a thing. The original Sayaka Miki, the one that fell into despair and became a witch, is now back, and without having merged with Oktavia and gaining her memories. She’s thrown literally into the middle of things, during the gang’s weirdest adventure yet. And, it should be noted, her most recent memory is literally sitting with Kyoko in the train station, right before she became Oktavia. That is one hell of a bad day.

Obviously she reacts poorly, and who can blame her? And give her credit, she pulled herself together pretty quickly. However, she did pick up very quickly on Kyoko’s feelings for her. And why shouldn’t we just start saying it? It’s obvious to everyone! But obviously, as short as it was, Sayaka’s brief return will have major consequences that will play out over time.

Anyway, obviously everyone else has their own identity crisis. Mami turns fully into Candeloro, which provides a measure of relief from her own shame, while Kyoko as Ophelia is the rare witch that remembers everything while still sticking fully to her witch identity.

As for Charlotte, her case as Charzomi is easily the weirdest, with her constantly shifting back and forth between Charlotte and Nozomi, and her own memories fading in and out, forcing her to work extra hard to stay focused. It’s been suggested that this might serve as a metaphor for gender fluidity, and while this wasn’t the intention and thus I can’t speak to its accuracy, I can see and support the applicability. Still haven’t worked out what the long-term consequences of that will be, but I do want this to play into her future character development.

The walk up the tongue was mainly me realizing that the fighting was going to start soon, and Sayaka was going away right after, so I had one last opportunity to make the most out of her presence and I was determined not to waste it.

So we ticked off the boxes on everything we ought to address with her. She cleared the air with Charlotte over having to watch Mami get eaten. She finally got to hug Mami (well, Candeloro anyway) and got everything she wanted to say off her chest. And with Ophelia, she naturally wants to know more about exactly what Kyoko has been getting up to with Sayaka’s other self.

Sayaka again confronts Ophelia about how she feels about her (or, well, Oktavia, or maybe Sayaka? It’s weird), and naturally she is kind of freaked out by it. Remember, from her point of view, her relationship with Kyoko had been nothing but antagonistic. Whether Kyoko had been attacking her or trying to help her, Sayaka always resented her presence, so now suddenly being dropped into the middle of things and learning that her one-time rival now has a thing for her? Well, can you blame her for getting a little freaked out?

Also, it’s worth pointing out how the script had been flipped with everyone’s new identities. Now it’s Ophelia and Candeloro with the witch names, while Sayaka still thinks of them using their old names, causing them discomfort, but she has no problem calling Charzomi whatever because they had just met and she didn’t care.

And then we get to the fight, and of course it has to be a pro wrestling match. I’d also like to point out that there were a lot of songs I wanted to use for this chapter but was unsure of where to put each one. Originally the climb up the tongue was just going to have generic thrash metal playing the background, while Mephisto’s entrance theme was going to start with Mr. Sandman, only to transition into Bad Reputation (which is Ronda Rousey’s RL entrance theme), but then I was like, I should put Welcome to My Nightmare in there somewhere. And then I remembered that Cult of Personality is a thing, which is also CM Punk’s entrance theme, so I finally decided to move the first three songs to the tongue scene and have CoP as Mephisto’s entrance music.

And finally, we come to the last chapter. The magical girl fight scene was another one of those checklist things I wanted to have so long as I had Sayaka around. That way, I could actually build some real KyoSaya moments to make the KyoTavi angst all the more potent, as Sayaka realizes that she is developing an attraction to Kyoko as they fight side-by-side, letting me recreate that magical little moment from The Rebellion Story in which Sayaka basically confesses in the middle of the battle, complete with Charlotte ruining the mood.

I’ll admit, I kind of skimped out on Mephisto’s witch design and didn’t give it as much thought as I could have, but that part was never important. The important part was to recreate a classic witch fight and let the girls interact during it. I am proud of the Charlotte’s Web joke though.

What happens next is to establish that it doesn’t matter how hard they fight or how smart they are, they simply cannot beat Mephisto now. She’s taken complete control, enough to flick them through their various personas on a whim turning them into Puella Magi, then to human!witches (basically the Walpurgis Nights girls), then to full witches, then to the classic squad from the bulk of the story (bringing Oktavia back briefly), then to vanilla humans. It doesn’t matter. Mephisto has them, and can do whatever she wants.

From there, she separates them again and subjects them to a condensed version of their previous dreams, with the same themes but different imagery. Kyoko is subjected to a sermon about her poor responses to loss from her dead father, as he really lays into her over how much damage she had done. And I gotta admit, even I felt pretty bad just for writing that scene. Because I know torturing Kyoko is kind of this story’s MO, but damn.

Sayaka is a little more nuanced. Yes, the identity issues from her own dream are brought up, but it’s more focused on a new issues: mainly, now that Sayaka is back, she not only has to grapple with all the weirdness that she’s been thrust into, but also with essentially having been replaced. We see the vision of her friends getting along happily without her, the friends she had pushed away and alienated having moved on without her, Madoka basically having replaced her entirely with Homura. Of course this is not reflected in reality, as by this point in the world of the living they probably haven’t even found Sayaka’s body yet due to the time difference, but it is definitely that Sayaka would easily believe.

The next part is basically the whole reason for bringing Sayaka back in this manner. Mephisto then shows Sayaka a real memory that of Oktavia spending time with Kyoko, Mami, and Charlotte and being loved and accepted by them.

Sayaka’s character arc in the original series was driven by her letting her insecurities cause her to overcompensate and destroy herself, and Oktavia has largely been characterized as what Sayaka would be like if she didn’t have those insecurities. Sure, she’s had the shadow of the original Sayaka hanging over her, but for the most part this hasn’t seemed to bother her much, aside from getting annoyed at being called the wrong name, but it’s been taken for granted that sooner or later being thought of as Sayaka instead of herself by Kyoko was going to come to a head.

But here we have one of those happy unplanned gold veins, something I hadn’t planned on doing but am thrilled gets to happen now: we have Sayaka being forced to come to terms with living in Oktavia’s shadow.

Yes, they’re the same person. Yes, Oktavia is just Sayaka with her memory wiped and many of her self-destructive issues cleared away. But as WN demonstrated, it’s not as clear cut as that, and there is still some degree of separation between the two. And the infamously self-loathing Sayaka would most certainly be messed up by being confronted by a version of herself that people like and enjoy being around, that doesn’t feel the need to prove anything. And this is coming right off the heels of her realizing that she might have feelings for Kyoko after all (even if that is in part because of her empathetic connection to Oktavia), only to have it thrown in her face that it was Oktavia that Kyoko really loved, when she herself never did anything other than push Kyoko away. Granted, she had good reason for doing so, given that the first thing Kyoko did was try to kill her, but the point stands.

The Kyoko/Oktavia dynamic has always been messy due to Sayaka’s constant presence, but I kind of feel that that was unfair to Sayaka herself, as she deserves better than just being a memory, and I wanted her to have an actual voice in the whole deal, to be able to express her own feelings about it, even if it does complicate an already incredibly complicated situation.

Anyway, the next bit is pretty self-explanatory, with Mephisto further twisting the knife by replaying Sayaka’s last conversation with Madoka and really driving home what a wreck Sayaka had been at the time. Remember, from Sayaka’s point of view, that whole moment was only a few hours ago, at most!

Mami’s was very interesting, because the whole trial bit is self-explanatory, but it’s actually a reference to the bizarre trial that made up the final episode of the classic mindscrew TV show The Prisoner, which featured a jury wearing masks, the plaintiff sitting on an ornate chair on a raised platform, witnesses being pulled out of steam-filled holes, and an extended singalong of Dry Bones. Granted, I mainly knew about it because Reboot, one of my favorite shows, also referenced it in a dream episode of their own, but I liked that episode, and wanted to rip it off.

For the witnesses, we first get the expected faces from the show itself, but we also get a few new ones. Brooke Alexander was already named once before when Mami was reflecting on the various girls she had trained, Janice Goldberg was made up specifically for this scene, but we also get Michiru Kazusa, from the really weird spin-off manga Kazumi Magica, who was established as having a past with Mami. Kazumi Magica had its problems, but I did like a lot of the characters (i.e. The Twins), so this seemed like a good time to bring in another one.

Charlotte’s dream is the most straightforward, as it’s basically just her first dream condensed into a claw machine. What I wanted to put focus on was that Charlotte is the one character that knows who Mephisto is, as her role as the team scholar who does the most reading, she would actually have heard of the Ideal Witches, and thus would really understand just how much trouble they were all in.

And at the end of each segment, Mephisto gives each of them the same offer: submit willingly and be given a pleasant fantasy while Mephisto digests their souls, or continue to resist and get digested anyway, only in eternal torment. And her offer would give them each what they wanted the most. Kyoko wants her loved ones back, Sayaka wants to be loved and appreciated, Mami wants forgiveness, and Charlotte just wants to go home. And in light of what they were facing, can any of them be blamed for wanting to take Mephisto up on her offer?

Enter Jerky.

Jerky was a ton of fun to write for, and judging by the overwhelming positive response to his segments, bringing in the baby space raptor was a good idea. Like I’ve said before, his bits were one big love letter to Raptor Red, a novel by paleontologist Robert Bakker which tells of the life and times of a female Utahraptor from the Utahraptor’s point of view. And the nice thing about Jerky is that he’s smart enough to know the does and don’ts, but simple enough to be uncomplicated. He’s an animal. An exceptionally smart animal, but still an animal. He knows that he loves Kyoko and is loyal to her, he’s been made to understand that he can’t let Charlotte, Mami, and Oktavia see him, and he knows that Kyoko’s skin is softer than his and he needs to be careful, but beyond that he couldn’t care less of their various issues. It’s refreshingly simple.

As such, when confronted with a complete inexplicable threat such as Mephisto, something well beyond his ability to comprehend, he’s worried, he’s scared, he doesn’t know what to do, so he defaults to his predatory instincts.

When in doubt, start biting.

And it does the trick, because something that needs to be said is that while the Ideal Witches are powerful, they’re not omnipotent. Mephisto needed to lure the girls in and submerge them fully in her dream in order to control them the way that she did, but in the real world, she was vulnerable once she had manifested fully, allowing Kyoko to break free long enough to fire the final shot.

In the end, everyone escapes, but not unscathed. Kyoko especially had been scarred even further, in part from the dream of her father, but also from having to watch Sayaka basically die again, leading to her reaching what very well might be her breaking point. Mami’s slipping deeper into depression, having been forced to once again confront all the damage she unwittingly did as a magical girl, Charlotte is fully fed up with everything that had happened to them. And Oktavia? Well, now that it’s been shown that Sayaka Miki can and has come back, suddenly her own identity issues are going to become worse. She’s really going to have to grapple with Sayaka being an actual person with a legitimate claim to her body, especially since when Sayaka came back, she effectively traded places with Oktavia instead of merging with her. That’s gotta be scary.

At the very least, Kyoko did not reject Oktavia. In some way, she does understand that Oktavia is her own person, and she’s coming to respect that. But there are some deep wounds having to do with Oktavia’s creation, and they’re both going to have to come to terms with a great many things in the days to come.

And at the very end, it’s shown that Mephisto is weakened but still alive, and she’s pissed! We also learn that one of the girls did accept Mephisto’s offer before she was defeated, so that’s definitely going to come up later. And we meet the rest of the Ideal Witches. Obviously there is more to come with them, so I will say nothing further.

Anyway, I guess that’s it. Feel free to message me if you want anything explained further, or just make your own interpretations. Either is fine.

#resonance days #restless

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