#and zhao Yunlan broken too as he makes himself get to the end to finish what he started

[mejomonster]

mmm guardian really gave me it all

Queer romance spanning 10,000 years perpetually starting and already eternal, people born with powers, comedy and horror in equal parts, cute tropes and devestating stakes you only get in heavy action, critique of government systems and authority, character arcs galore of personal growth and improving compassion (especially our two leads, but also a lot of the main cast - zhu Hong deciding what she values in helping the world over her personal lives or feelings, Lin Jing choosing loyalty to innocent people and justice rather than to his govt and status and safety, guo changcheng being the perfectly ordinary everyday perso who musters the bravery and desire to face any threat or danger to help people), commentary on various issues (classism, racism, government abuse, rape, child abuse, censorship, being closeted, abuse of power, corruption, family versus individual, influence of our actions in public eye on society, paparazzi, aging and death, greed, losing loved ones, etc god so many I can’t think of them all), ridiculously dumb cgi that’s funny to watch, killer soundtrack I love everything on, opening song and vid perfectly reminiscent of my other faves like buffy in vibe, impeccable main lead actors, plot structure ideally suited to my attention span of mini stories that built a larger one and climax every ten eps, paralleling plots so episodes of the week build the themes and characters later return and side romances highlight major factors in the Main romance, as a result it’s chock full of star crossed lovers as the human/non-human romances and important relationships on the show is sky high to parallel Shen wei and zhao yunlan.

domestic romance and goals of having a best friend and love to come home to and be yourself with, a bi protagonist who feels comfortably himself, a love triangle handled lovely, a villain who is intensely dramatic and also paralleling the main characters in experience struggles demons and literal appearance, side villains who are all intense to comic book proportions while all having very understandable motives that turned them into what they’ve chosen, main characters who have their own sets of flaws. More I’m forgetting... it just... it’s got it all. Hot men in chains. People sucking provacatively on lollipops, fake identities, time travel, falling in love while already in love, political intrigue, human villains to rival Sentinel Program in Xmen while also being abusive to the humans they act like they’re helping, some fun sci fi horror to dollop alongside the vague supernatural horror. The hardest terror hitting because the show is aiming for your heart and personal fears, not with its powers or monsters. The first arc makes it clear, when Li qians story is horrific because she witnessed losing closeness with her most loved one, did something to try and save her and found only a dragging out of that same loss and pain we actually do and will go through in life, never mind a depiction of depression in college that feels horrifically real if you’ve been where she was, and the hint that Shen Wei’s pain is going to be paralleling the worst of all of these stories (and eventually, for the other main characters pains as well). Or the story about the teacher and rogue powered student, which feels like an age difference lesbian romance in a murder mystery driven by justifiable revenge and so horrifying in that no one helped until it was too late that it was already to that point - to Shen Wei finding out the awful things his students are capable of, of students driven to kill thinking it’s the only way they can help, and the glimpse of happy endings some people might find. Which just as a personal story wrecked me but also on a bigger level parallels SO much of what comes later - government attacking the sid and Shen Wei, dixing and haxing abusing their own people, people taking it into their own hands to various consequences, struggling for a better outcome. The sheer number of fun murder mysteries in this show too...

Like fuck if you need some good short-story murder mysteries or sci fi romps or star crossed lover tales wow does it deliver. If you want that, and a Giant one in the form of Shen Wei/zhao yunlan, then stick around. I still think about so Many of the individual cases, I loved them so much. The girl in the mirror who came out and fell in love, and the human man who loved her and is left in agony and loss when the law arrives and they have no chance to ever have a future. The child who was abused, who a man tries to help, and the both of them used by a villain because they’re too vulnerable to stay out of the mess, too guilty already because murder was the outcome of all that abuse and the only escape the little girl even temporarily managed. The constant horror that is Shen Wei having fought for a better future, only to be in the present and bear witness to the sufferings and failings of this world hes charged with enforcing. Sha Ya trying to protect her sister.

[highpriestessofjogan]

Every once in a while I’m not in the mood to write fiction...

Sometimes I like to do literary analysis for funsies, or, surprisingly enough thanks to the content of this post, music analysis as well.

When I first watched Guardian, there was one song that stood out to me more than most of the others from the OST.  It was always used in the scenes with more emotional weight, and was so haunting that it lingered in my mind long after the scene had passed.  Once I was able to hunt the soundtrack down on Amazon (a feat that was much more difficult than it should have been imho) I came to learn that this song was actually Shen Wei’s theme.  Shen Wei’s theme was in all of the emotionally hard hitting scenes and haunted me for long after the show had finished.

One day I was driving to work and I was just looping it over and over for my entire commute.  It’s an hour long commute ya’ll.  Just that song, over and over and over (and I’ve played it for several hours on a loop before and I have no doubt I will do it for many more times to come, this song is beautiful and haunting and I love it to death).  As I listened I started to make some realizations, and as those realizations came to light it left me even more heartbroken than originally.

The Shen Wei OST is a perfect character journey.  It tells his story in a way that words simply could not come close to.  I’ve tried to sum up my best analysis of this song and what it means, and I’m sure I don’t even come close to what Luo Kun intended when he composed the song, but I hope that he would at least agree I have parts of it right.

I’m going to put the actual analysis beneath a “Read More” so please, drop me a line if you like what you read or if you want to discuss it further.  I’d love to chat about this!  It’s broken up into five distinct movements that I think relate to different points in Shen Wei’s life, and I should mention that this is looking at the character purely from the perspective of the drama.  At some point I might go back and see if I can tie it into the novel at all, but that has not been taken into consideration here.

I’d like to state above the cut that my thanks go out to @elvencantation and @eirenical for looking over my initial drafts and giving me their opinions and helping with musical instrument identification.  I might come back and clean this up someday, but for right now, I wanted to get something out there for everyone to read.  I hope that you enjoy it.

Part I. Gege (0:00 - 0:35)

There is a very melancholy feel to the song, but it also has the quiet grace and strength that the audience can always associate with Shen Wei.  This is the beginning of his journey though.  This is a young boy caring for his brother.  A boy who tries to protect and is cast aside, thrown down to the dirt, and returns too late to save the one remaining person still precious to him.  The beginning of this song paints the picture of a solitary figure against the horizon, short in stature from age and inexperience, a blade much too big gripped in too small a hand.  The piano solo here emphasizes his lone search for his brother and hoping against all hopes that he might one day find him and the two of them could be reunited. 

Part II. Xiao Wei (0:36 - 1:08)

At 37 seconds in the strings make their entrance.  I like to think it was a deliberate choice to have Zhao Yunlan pick up the violin during the Tan Xiao and Zheng Yi case, because I firmly believe the strings in this soundtrack are supposed to represent Zhao Yunlan just as the piano represents Shen Wei.  These 32 seconds represent the Shen Wei that we see during episodes 34 and 35 in Ye Olde Haixing Era.  A bright eyed energetic young warrior who cares about his men despite his position.  He hides his fear behind a mask, under a hood, and does what he can to help in the war.  But here is also when Kunlun arrives.  A famous general who miraculously takes an interest in HIM.  And what has he done to warrant such attention? The kindness that he is shown here helps to shape him, mold him into a stronger warrior, a stronger person, but it will be millennia before he will learn why Kunlun saw him for the person he was rather than the blade and power he wielded.

The strings here do not try to overwhelm the piano here, even though they easily could.  Instead they seem to try to entwine with the notes from the piano and guide them.  It’s a graceful dance between the two that represents the close partnership that Shen Wei and Kunlun shared during the war.

Part III. The Black Cloak Envoy (1:09 - 1:39)

This part of the song is particularly interesting to me.  The piano is still present, but the tune has changed, the same for the strings, but now the sounds of a woodwind have joined the other two.  It’s at this point Shen Wei has woken up after 10,000 years.  He’s thrust into a new world that he must learn, and a Dixing that is far worse off than he ever imagined it would be.  He is a legend, but he does not try to take power.  His duty is still his to fulfill, but he does not seek to take power aside from that.  This is the new life that he forges for himself, from who he was as a boy, to who Kunlun helped him become, but this is something he creates to survive in a world that is unfamiliar to him.  

Now he is not needed as just a blade, although he will be that when it is necessary.  Now he can pursue his love and inherent gift for learning.  This is the man who emerges from the ground and takes up bioengineering as a field of study.  This is the person who befriends Cheng Xinyan and probably has more than one or two study sessions with her.  This is the college student that I’m sure was dragged to at least one karaoke night to blow off some steam, and may have discovered his aversion to alcohol that same night.  This is someone who lived.

Part IV. Professor Shen (1:40 - 2:11)

The woodwind fades out and we are left with the string and the piano once more.  The string though is more like the tide, pushing and pulling against the piano, but that is very fitting for the section of the song, and Shen Wei’s life, that Zhao Yunlan is introduced into.  The strings surge forth and ease back, pushing Shen Wei for answers, but also easing back when he seems ready to break.  The piano has returned to its tune from the first two movements, and it’s probably due to the uncertainty that Zhao Yunlan has brought into his life.  Why has Kunlun suddenly reappeared and why is he acting like he doesn’t know who Shen Wei is?  Why does Da Qing not remember him?  In the face of these questions he retreats to who he was before, until he can determine what the best course of action to take is.  If Kunlun is testing him or doesn’t remember too he doesn’t want to risk the chance that the man will not recognize him.  This could be why we see the fond smiles and confused blinks, aspects that are so inherent to his character.

Part V. Shen Wei (2:12 - End)

I’m not going to lie, it was coming up with this part that really broke my heart.  The strings remain, but fade to the background and are only faintly known.  The piano has returned, and is at the forefront once more with no question as to who the lead is.  Through all the changes in his life, he has come to realize who he truly is.  He is a brother who is afraid he has failed his twin.  A warrior and leader afraid he has failed his people.  A man afraid that he will lose everything, but willing to make that sacrifice to save his friends and family, to keep the man he loves safe.  He is no longer just a blade to be used.  He has a purpose, one that has not been forced on him but that he has chosen for himself.  

This is the Shen Wei who decides to use the light energy from Zhao Yunlan to make himself a living bomb.  The man who decides that if his brother cannot be made to stand down then he will force him to.  This is the man who looks into the eyes of his lover as he lays bloodied and broken on the ground, who sees all that they could have had in their lives, and silently begs forgiveness even as he makes the ultimate sacrifice.  

And then the song fades out with the slowing piano notes, just as Shen Wei’s life ends with the slowed beating of his heart...

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 12

We start the episode in the Snake Tribe territory, which is supposedly still somewhere within the confines of the Dragon City. It is baffling that it took citizens of this place so long to figure out that there are mysterious beings and demi-humans living among them, it truly is.

While the scene is mostly centred around the conflict between Zhu Hong and her tribe, and the ominous warning of the war brewing, it also does a really lovely joy of showcasing, yet again, the fierce loyalty not only she, but Guo Changcheng have to the SID. This boy remains the most precious muffin of a human.

At the SID, Sang Zan is learning to write under a loving watchful eye Wang Zheng. The once fierce and ruthless warlord is now the softest archivist. On a separate note, I am not sure how good of an archivist he might be considering that he is evidently illiterate.

Anyway, it’s heart-warming to see those two happy together. I sure hope nothing terrible happens to them in the future.

Our actual power couple, on the other hand, have done a full reversal into the relationship they had in the beginning; only it’s somehow even worse now. Shen Wei, who properly messed his cover up during the last adventure, has his guard up as he is being questioned in relation to a case. Zhao Yunlan, who grew to see this man as a friend and partner, is no longer amused by secrets, nor intrigued by them. He is now furious at their existence, upset at what he must perceive as lack of trust on Shen Wei’s part.

Shen Wei serves Zhao Yunlan a cup of tea with a side order of avoidance, hoping that by ignoring the subject of himself it will go away.

When in the previous scenes together they were always across the desk from each other, or next to each other, leaning in closely, body language open, there is now a rift between them. It’s awkward; neither of the men want to be here, but their needs are the opposite to each other, and neither of them are willing to back down.

Shen Wei goes on explaining in great detail his connection to the case and to the victim, despite Zhao Yunlan’s attempt to change the subject with a very unsubtle, “your body surely recovered fast”. The latter then proceeds to stubbornly talk about Shen Wei’s archaic ways, which earns him an incredulous “Are you even listening to me?” from the professor. The incredulity is wonderfully misjudged, considering the circumstances.

“I only want to hear you tell the truth”

We rarely see Zhao Yunlan open and vulnerable. I can’t off the top of my head remember him ever being open and vulnerable with anyone who is not Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan operates on false bravado, aggressive charm, weaponised smiles. But with this man, he purposefully lowers his guard. I trust you, he seems to say, and I always have. Why can you not trust me?

Shen Wei gulps.

He then continues talking about the case, which is the last straw for Zhao Yunlan, who explodes, smacking his palm hard on the desk.

Shen Wei startles, looking hurt. I just… don’t understand what he was expecting. Once again, this is a man who, from Shen Wei’s perspective, has unmasked him on the first day they met. This is a man who has been poking and prodding him for weeks. And I get that it is hurtful when someone you care about does not respect your boundaries, I do, but truly honestly hoping that the same someone will just accept the relationship terms that have never even been discussed is a little bit unrealistic, especially when Shen Wei is not divulging anything.

Shen Wei is bad at communicating. Which is, I suppose, not news to anyone.

“It seems that Chief Zhao still hasn’t given up on suspecting me.”

“Not suspicion, but lack of understanding.”

Zhao Yunlan is trying very hard. He is trying to close the rift between them: by pulling the chair over next to Shen Wei’s and settling down on it, by reminding Shen Wei how much they have been through together, by telling the man that he is being perplexing. Shen Wei, on the other hand, has raised his barriers all the way back up, smoothly explaining that he is just a normal man who ends up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He has got a polite smile playing on his lips, his mask fully in place.

Zhao Yunlan does not even pretend to have believed Shen Wei, he gives up on the conversation with a dejected “Fine, forget it.”

He makes his excuses and pulls his phone out to make a call to Wang Zheng to check up on the rest of the team. Just as that happens, the SID gets attacked by the magical sound waves, and Zhao Yunlan sprints into action.

Shen Wei calls after him, and then asks to come with. Considering they have just spent some very awkward time together, more or less fighting about Shen Wei lying an awful lot, Zhao Yunlan would be well within his moral rights to reject help. He doesn’t, however. Even now, the trust he has in Shen Wei  - in his good intentions, in his friendship - is unwavering.

At the SID offices, Tan Xiao is using his sound device to get past the two ghosts energy beings, and break through the safety measures protecting the Hallows. In other news, apart from being susceptible from curses or poisons slipped through the letter box, the SID HQ also does not have anything that might stop a human from breaking into it. How those people survived for this long is a mystery.

A point of complete diversion from me: I am currency watching a contemporary drama entitled To Dear Myself. It’s about young professionals in Shanghai who get their lives broken in about ten different ways; Zhu Yilong’s the leading man; there will definitely be a lengthy think-piece on it here. But the reason I’m bringing that up here is that it also has Chen Weidong, the actor who plays Tan Xiao, as a contextually neurodivergent rich boyfriend of one of the protagonists.

It’s kind of surreal seeing him here; there’s only been about two years between the filming of those two shows, but he looks so different. Oh, and, he is very  good as well.

Back in the world of Guardian, we see Sang Zan shaking off the sound attack and attempting to stop Tan Xiao. He does not succeed as such, but manages to pull a string which activates the Indiana Jones-style set-up with loaded crossbows. It’s very silly; I kind of love it.

While evading the arrows, Sang Zan flings the Awl up in the air, Zhao Yunlan catches it. How close is the University to SID? He took about five minutes to get here! The chief gets a barrage of premonitions which include Zhu Hong knocked out in the future, as well as in the present, and a little sneak-peak into the Disaster Wedding incident.

He then proceeds to pass out into Shen Wei’s slow motion embrace.

There is nothing wrong with this. This is beautiful.

Shen Wei checks on Yunlan briefly, but Tan Xiao goes on the offensive, which deserves him: a) a shot of dark energy right into his chest, which flings him across the space, b) the meanest of Hei Pao Shi’s death glares. This is the moment Tan Xiao earns an uncharacteristically rough treatment he’s going to get at the end of this episode.

She Wei carefully places unconscious Zhao Yunlan next to the wall, calling out his name. We can only presume that the lab has a second exit, as Tan Xiao manages to get away despite the two men currently being more or less in the doorway.

An indeterminate amount of time passes, and Zhao Yunlan wakes on the sofa, Da Qing in human form miaowing at him, his team and Shen Wei nearby. The team goes into a full debrief mode: Wang Zheng reports that she is generally able to repel sound waves, but was taken by surprise; Da Qing and Lin Jin speculate about the shield being affected by the waves as well, since an apparent Undergrounder managed to get through it.

Zhao Yunlan notes that the sound waves ability seems to be doubled, and used for both attack and suggestion. He notes that the powers can be numerous, while grinning conspiratorially at Shen Wei.

Shen Wei quietly despairs. He probably genuinely thought that this conversation was truly over. He takes a few seconds to come to terms with Zhao Yunlan actually teasing him about him maybe being an Undergrounder, before composing himself and stating that compound abilities don’t actually exist.

Da Qing, who doesn’t necessarily pick up what this conversation really is about, but does note that *something* is up with those two, comes to his own conclusions, asking Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan to stop flirting.

Lin Jing comes up up with this.

“Comrades!”

Thank you, Viki subbers, for notifying the audience that the word “Comrade” is also a slang for “gay”.

Lin Jing springs to his feet, saying that he needs a sample test of a human consciousness - presumably to create that clever brain chip of him which would make one immune to the wound wave powers. Zhao Yunlan very theatrically feigns a big scary headache to see whether Shen Wei would volunteer to take the test in his stead to spare him the pain. It’s an underhand move, but it works nonetheless.  

We briefly return to the Snake Tribe, or, more specifically to Zhu Hong’s Fourth Uncle asking whether she is still mad at him, while she is forcibly restrained and bound to a pillar. What is it with this show and binding people to pillars? In reality, the one bound to a pillar is actually Guo Changcheng, which the Fourth Uncle doesn’t pick up on even through Xiao Guo is not actually wearing the clothes Zhu Hong arrived in. Zhu Hong springs the trap, plies her uncle with the same wine, and then goes to regroup with the others, leaving Xiao Guo behind for the time being, because, I guess, it makes more sense for Zhu Hong to be alone when she gets hypnotised later in the episode.

Honestly, it’s easier to not think about too much about this scene, so let’s return to the main characters.

Lin Jing is just finishing the experiment on Shen Wei, who is lying on the lab bed in his undershirt, seemingly asleep. I would assume that Shen Wei has gone into some kind of a meditative trance to try and affect the way his own brain works and emulate the human activity. He does not stir when Zhao Yunlan walks over, and call him.

“Shen Wei? Professor Shen?”

Having received no response, Zhao Yunlan leans in to…

... Count this man’s eye lashes? Admire the effects of his skincare routine?

Oh, no, sorry. Here’s the excuse.

Thank you, Guardian, for this moment.

As Shen Wei wakes up and rises, he lets Zhao Yunlan know in no uncertain terms that he did see through his ruse.

“You don’t have a headache anymore?”

This snaps Yunlan out of gazing at Shen Wei with barely contained lust to pretend that his head indeed still hurts. Considering that Shen Wei does not look concerned, and knowing that Zhao Yunlan’s health and well-being is his number one priority in life, we can conclude that he did know that a headache was just an excuse to get Shen Wei out of his shirt check Shen Wei’s brain activity. Our professor collects his things and leaves with a brief goodbye.

Lin Jing is staring at the readings, checking that the computer has worked properly. Noticing that something is wrong, Zhao Yunlan asks, “Did you see live pornography in his head or something?” Not that I blame his for his mind being the gutter, but also, wow Zhao Yunlan’s mind is in the gutter.

Lin Jing dismisses the idea of mind reading as a whole, and shares his findings that Shen Wei’s consciousness was unwavering, like a dead man’s. Unfortunately for Shen Wei, whatever it was that he did to appear human has not worked well at all.

Zhao Yunlan smirks.

Outside of the SID building, Shen Wei is still frozen in place, contemplating his future actions as he is thumping the Pendant of Pining.

“Should I tell him after all?”

Yes, Shen Wei, you should.

“If I tell him, will that put him in danger?”

I am afraid the the good ship Zhao Yunlan Being In Danger sailed the day Zhao Yunlan became Lord Guardian and Chief of the SID.

(Am I again getting unreasonably frustrated with a fictional character of a show that aired several years ago? You bet I am.)

What follows in the episode is a brief interlude of Zhu Jiu being horrible to Tan Xiao, and making inappropriate comments about him and Zheng Yi. We also learn some of Tan Xiao’s backstory, which expands on his character and explains that the reasons he felt so protective of the little girl was because she reminded him of a sister he once had.

Back to SID offices.

Zhao Yunlan is doodling Shen Wei and the Envoy as he tries to reconcile the two in his mind.

It does sound like he still has doubts that the two are the same person, despite the overwhelming pile of evidence that made him draw to this conclusion in the first place. If anything, it is quite surprising that it took him this long to figure out that the enigmatic mysterious handsome professor and the enigmatic mysterious handsome Envoy are the same person. It is also curious that he seems to think the Envoy is much taller.

Da Qing watches his friend’s mental agony in absolute bewilderment.

Very shortly, they will get a ping for the sound wave energy from somewhere close to Zhu Hong’s home and rush to the scene to find that Zhu Hong has, indeed, been put under mind control, as she attacks Chu Shuzhi.

Here’s another piece of fight choreography for me to tear into.

Okay, good things first. I really like that the actors are doing their own fighting. Jiang Mingyang is generally looking good in combat, and his reactions continue to be on point. Gao Yuer is very flexible, and her kicks are great.

The fight itself however, is another example of the time/money constraints.

The opening punch is… fine. They do lock arms for a split second, which indicates that Zhu Hong properly swung that in rather than stopping the energy, but they are also out of distance, so safety-wise that’s okay-ish, and at full speed it looks alright . But the way Lao Chu is sticking his thumb out and then wraps that around Zhu Hong’s wrist just gave a full body shudder. This is how one gets they thumb dislocated (which I have never done myself, but I hear is very painful) and/or gives their partner a nasty bruise. For anyone out there who needs to hear this, if you ever perform a fight, please tuck your thumbs in line with your fingers and avoid hurting yourself and others. Doing otherwise adds nothing apart from a small but completely avoidable risk of injury.

Then there is this kick-punch-kick combination.

The three moves in isolation are good, but they don’t flow together, at all. I think, and this is pure speculation, that the sweeping punch in the middle was actually meant to follow the previous two moves, then the kick would come next, leading into Chu Shuzhi restraining Zhu Hong. That first kick (which is the same as the third kick, shot from a different angle) just does not belong there as a follow-up to the two punches. I can speculate that it was cut there because it looked cool - which it does - but it also sacrifices any hope this fight had for coherent storytelling.

Then there is a capture and a swivel, very similar to the finishing move used in Zhu Jiu/Sang Zan fight in episode 11. Zhu Hong gets pressed against the tree, and the team shows up to sedate her and bring her back to the headquarters.

Tan Xiao and Zheng Yi watch this scene unfold at a distance, as Zhao Yunlan appears behind them. The SID chief calmly lets Tan Xiao know that he’s been abandoned by Zhu Jiu, and the other man offers no resistance to being captured.

The narrative brings us to the boxing ring, introducing us to it as Zhu Jiu’s energy farm, and then briefly cuts to SID, where Chu Shuzhi realises that they have not retrieved Guo Changcheng. The puppet master springs into action, leaving Lin Jing to wonder since when his friend is so protective of the rookie. If he paid attention, he would have noticed that Chu Shuzhi was protective of the rookie since day one.  

We then move to the interrogation of Tan Xiao, which is happening in the hospital set, with Zheng Yi tucked into the hospital bed, even through it was never established that she would need medical attention, and, considering that she would have no issues walking out of the hospital very shortly, she clearly does not. Here, we see some more flashbacks, detailing Tan Xiao and the girl’s backstory, the abuse she suffered, and the bond the two forged. The young man is admitting to all the crimes he had not committed to protect her, and Zhao Yunlan is honestly moved. He sounds almost regretful when he lets Tan Xiao know that he will still be persecuted for his crimes.

Right on cue, Hei Pao Shi portals in.

Zhao Yunlan greets him with a customary “long time no see”, but the most acknowledgement he receives from Shen Wei is a side-eye which does not even focus on his face.

In fact, the Envoy is doing as much as he can to avoid even turning to Zhao Yunlan. He simply announces his purpose to the room in general and teleports Tan Xiao away. It’s easy to see what he is doing. In Shen Wei’s mind, the less communication he has with Zhao Yunlan as Hei Pao Shi, the better are his chances to separate his two personalities in the eyes of the other man. That said, showing an abrupt and uncharacteristic change of behaviour is the opposite of suspicious.

Even Da Qing notices the change Hei Pao Shi.

“Lao Zhao, what did you do to upset him? You used to do small talk, not anymore?”

Zhao Yunlan smirks, replying that he knows the reason why. He then notices the little girl crying, and goes to comfort her the only way he knows how, with a lollipop. When that does not work, he gestures for Da Qing to leave with him, and returns with a familiar black cat and an adorable “ta-dah”. It’s so sweet it makes my teeth hurt.

As this is going on, Hei Pao Shi is being his glorious over the top avenging self. For one, he is actually floating above Tan Xiao, which I don’t think he ever seen him do before. He then proceeds to throttle the young man, lifting him in the air and throwing him back on the ground.

He does so in order to shake the sound wave equipment out of him, sure, but it is easy to assume that Tan Xiao also brought the Envoy’s wrath onto himself by his misguided attempt to hurt Zhao Yunlan earlier that day. It’s deliciously petty; we know that the best way to earn Shen Wei’s ire is by threatening his companion. And, to be fair, Shen Wei had a bad day: this is as good a way as any to get some of that ancient anger out of his system.

As Hei Pao Shi realises that the man he arrested is a simple human armed with some clever technology, and the real homicidal Undergrounder is the girl he is protecting, so does Zhao Yunlan. Even miles away, even when they are having arguments, their analytical brains still work in sync. And, as plot twists go, this one is neat, albeit not entirely unpredictable.

Unfortunately, realising that the girl is dangerous, brings along a realisation that Zhao Yunlan left his friend in her care. He rushes to the hospital to check on Da Qing, finding the ward empty. If this was Zhu Jiu’s plan all along, it’s a good one: having access to a brainwashed SID member would also spell easy access to the headquarters and the Hallows - which is exactly where Zheng Yi leads Da Qing, taking the Hallows and leaving the Yashou to go into a berserk mode as he imagines or remembers Zhao Yunlan/Kunlun saying “I will abandon you”

Next up, episode 13: The Disaster Wedding.

——

Notes.

Every time Shen Wei lies my brain supplies me with Why You Always Lying song. Every. Single. Time. Which means I sing it a lot around the flat, to my partner’s great chagrin.

Whoooo boy and I thought the Episode 10 recap was the crackiest one I’ve done.

[puppy-phum]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four,  Part Five, Part Six

Part Three!

...or I suppose technically it’s part two of Part Two since this one will finish up what the other one started.

Shall we return to Grow Up?

(This’ll be long even though I managed to be a little ruthless and cut some of the images.)

We’ll start with the staffroom and finish with the dorm rooms.

I am only assuming it’s a staffroom. For all I know it could be some kind of common room. But they spend a damned lot of time there. They eat. They hangout. They study. And it’s not just the students, so I’m calling it a staffroom.

Anyway! This breakfast bar thing props up a fair amount of leaning, from general side leans.

To the favoured elbow hook lean.

What I find funny about this particular surface is that Bai Yu’s legs are so long that he actually can’t sit ‘properly’ at it. If he sits straight, then he has to lean forward, since his knees are knocking into it. And when he does sit close (his feet aren’t on the floor, since he’s on a stool, so he can sit properly), he has to spread his legs in some form of obscene manspreading fashion that made me cackle and that I apparently managed to not get a screenshot of (and annoyingly I can’t remember which episode it was in).

Right then, on to the table.

Literally.

On to the table.

Because, clearly, Bai Yu can’t resist sitting on a tabletop.

I made a post about it a while ago, but I’m still not over it so, just as a quick break from the sitting - that outfit is certainly a choice of the wardrobe department.

I mean just look at it, with it’s mustard trousers paired with that top, and a lime green tie. It’s like someone threw the 70s at him or something and went with whatever stuck. I feel like it shouldn’t work. But why does it? Is it a Bai Yu thing?

I mean I know he can pull off some slightly questionable fashion choices - that denim on denim look he has as Zhao Yunlan is something I’d normally say isn’t a good idea, but he looks damn good in it. There is also the jacket with the buttons on the back that I’m still questioning to this day. And the time they apparently rolled him in glitter. And, ok, I happily admit that I don’t tend to understand fashion, and I understand even less of Chinese fashion, but, just, how did this choice come about? Pretty much everyone else in this show seems to wear ‘normal’ sedate clothes. Then there’s this guy. With his bright colours, his polka dots on polka dots, and his cravats. Honestly, mixing his outfit choices with his sitting preferences and relationships, I’m becoming convinced that this is just another example of Bai Yu giving his character Disaster Bi energy. The dude ain’t straight, and the dude ain’t gay. I’d say this dude is a Certified Disaster Bi.

Ok, back to the table and Bai Yu’s leaning back in an almost draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls manner.

And, like, there is a chair right there.

But nope.

The unpadded table is apparently more appealing for this man’s relatively flat arse than the padded chair that is right there.

I mean, yeah, he makes an appealing picture that’s visually different from everything else going on, but that does not negate the fact he ignored the empty chair that’s right next to him in favour of draping himself over the table.

And look, he can sit at the table as opposed to on it. There’s quite a few instances where he’s sitting at the table in a chair like a proper person. Granted, in pretty much every instance he’s sitting with his legs crossed, because god forbid he have both feet touching the floor.

But of course this table also sees moments where he’s doing something different to the others. Like here. Everyone is standing, he’s sitting.

I think he’s sulking a bit in this one, but still. Different position, different aura, still not supporting his own meagre weight.

And here with his gay little scout-esque neckerchief/scarf thing, leaning back, not sitting properly.

He does this lean back on the sofa too.

The shot is only a couple of seconds long, then he’s standing up, just like in Part Two, where he’s the only one sitting when the Teacher Doctor guy opens the door, and I touched on this a little in the previous part. But I’m really starting to think it might be a deliberate thing that’s quite clever in drawing the eye.

I should probably preface this with saying I know basically nothing about the processes that go into acting and film making. I am however technically a historian by degree and, therefore, fully capable of pulling theories out of my arse which I will then scrabble around to find sources to back them up.

So! The theory is that movement naturally draws the human eye, and if everyone is the same then a scene can fall flat. Sameness is boring, your eyes can flit over it and not take in any details.

Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is a fidget (seriously go watch his livestream videos, he fidgets, fiddles, and wriggles), this movement can be used to his advantage in drawing the eye. That scene up there? He’s not just leaning back, he’s also shifting about. He’s not in focus, but you can be damned sure that movement made my eyes focus on him before I even knew it was him.

And for combating the sameness? Look at the examples above - he’s lounging on the table, different posture to everyone else - he’s sitting while everyone else is standing -  in the previous part he’s standing while everyone else is sitting. I thought at first my eyes were drawn because it’s Bai Yu and, well, he’s a favourite of mine so why wouldn’t my eyes be drawn. But then I realised they would’ve been, regardless, because he’s different. He breaks up the sameness, he stops it being flat. It reminded me of a scene in Pride and Prejudice, where the Bennett girls turn one way, but Mrs. Bennett turns the other. I remember watching or reading a commentary about it, the move being praised. I don’t remember exactly what was said, just that it was praised for being different and adding something to the scene, and it made me wonder if Bai Yu makes similar decisions?

Ok, onto the seating area proper.

He was actually sitting on an armchair properly before this, with both feet on the floor and everything...he looked so uncomfortable. Then he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa, because of course he did.

Y’know, pillows get hugged a lot in this programme, mainly by Bai Yu, but by others too sometimes.

And why sit normally when there’s a perfectly good coffee table in front of you to rest your foot on and make some viewers wince because why is your ankle bending that way? How is that even comfortable?

Just look at it. Barely resting on the table with his other foot adding weight to it.

You make my joints ache, sir.

Ok so technically I probably could’ve cut this one, since he’s just sitting on the sofa, nothing fancy, legs crossed, arm slung over the back as he pulls faces while she’s playing a game - she’s training to be a doctor but has a fear of blood so to get her use to it his character gets her to play fighting games(?) and someone else puts red dye on her hands - but this ends up leading to...

...this.

And just...what? How...?

That can’t be comfortable, surely.

I don’t even...are your joints even real, sir?

If your own joints are twinging in sympathy pain, this is your chance to go give your arms a shake and your body a wiggle before we head to the last section of the dorm rooms. Make sure everything is where it should be to remind yourself that you’re not the broken marionette doll Bai Yu can apparently become.

Right. All shook out? Good.

First stop the girls’ dorms, last stop the boys’.

There’s not much in the main girls’ room, really, just his usual sitting with his legs crossed because obviously the floor is lava and can’t be trusted with both feet.

I’m not sure how much he can be blamed for this one, as he’s technically been thrown into the chair by the little doctor trainee whose character reminds me a bit of Wen Qing.

As a side note, when you’re watching something that you don’t understand the language of, scenes like this can really throw you, because you’re just sitting there minding your own business, when suddenly they’re alone in the room together and Bai Yu’s character is taking off his tie, before striping off his shirt and tossing it on the sofa, and then you’re sitting there like wait, what? When did...? I thought...? What? But then he just gets tossed into the chair and some kind of conversation happens that makes you relax because, yeah, from your vague understanding of the characters, that makes more sense.

Even though he was tossed down, he didn’t actually need to keep his feet on the chair, but of course that didn’t stop him.

He is actually capable of looking comfortable sitting in this particular chair, he even gets to hug a pillow while doing it.

Now then, the boys’ dorm.

He came in, he saw them, he plopped down on the coffee table.

He could’ve sat on the sofa, he could’ve pulled up a chair, but nope. Coffee table.

Obviously, as previously mentioned, the floor is lava, so at the first opportunity he lifted both feet on the table and happily sat on it like an indulgent cat or something.

The sofa.

This sofa is not big enough for a full Bai Yu stretch out, but he can happily curl up on either end.

You could turn him into Bai Yu themed bookends.

Now, from watching Guardian we are all aware that this man is fully capable of embodying the spirit of a cat.

I, however, raise you the spirit of a Great Dane.

I see no difference between these two images.

Also not even this character’s mother can get him to sit properly. She prods him up and shuffles him over, and the first thing he does is pull up a knee.

Y’know how people starfish in bed? Well Bai Yu can apparently starfish in an armchair. He just plops down and flings his limbs out.

I almost didn’t catch this one, it’s part of some studying montage thing, and I thought he was sitting properly since he’s leaning forward, and I can clearly see his slippers.

Then I had a ‘wait, hold up’ moment, went back, and looked properly.

There are no feet in those slippers.

There are no legs attached to them.

So even when you think he’s sitting properly. He isn’t because he is kneeling. And I almost missed this ridiculousness!

Yes, Bai Yu, sit on a bed post that is clearly not meant to be sat on.

This is a moment where he could’ve leant against the wall, but evidently saw even the smallest flat surface as an invitation to sit.

Is that post migrating to places a bed post shouldn’t be migrating to?

Should’ve thought of that before you went and sat on it.

Not only does illness and subsequent surgery give him an excuse to lay on a gurney, it also gives him an excuse to lay in bed!

Apparently being tucked in by other men is also something not entirely unique to Bai Yu’s Zhao Yunlan. That bloke, the roommate that he went on a not-date-but-looked-like-a-date-with-wine-and-everything, seems like an absolute sweetheart and I’m still pissed at what they did in the last episode. It was uncalled for, script writers, uncalled for!

Although, I suppose, in regards to this project, it is kinda ironic that by the end, of the three men in their 'friendship group' of seven, Bai Yu’s character is the last one standing.

If I was a ‘they were roommates. Oh god they were roommates’ kinda writer these beds would be a bloody godsend. Just look at the watching and pining potential if top bunk guy was mooning over bottom bunk guy, while top bunk was doing work at his desk, and bottom bunk was sleeping.

The potential, people, the potential.

So that’s it. Grow Up is all done, and I can confidently put this in the column of Bai Yu quirks that become character quirks.

If you want to watch it, it’s available on Youtube, but there aren’t any subtitles. It’s on Dramacool too, but, again, no subtitles and the quality is horrid compared to Youtube.

Considering I couldn’t care less about the main storyline, it’s not actually a bad little drama.

Part One, Part Two , Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[weilongfu]

The moments after, part 6

Read it on AO3 here. FYI, there are some sexy times here. If you aren’t into that, you should stop reading the chapter around the time you see the stuff in the preview and skip ALL THE WAY to the end where there’s like one relevant line before the next chapter. 

PREVIEW: “If you’re awake enough to smile, you’re awake enough to get the plates,” Chu calls out as he spreads the food out.

“But it’s such a good dream Chu ge, five more minutes…”

Chu leans over the couch to whisper in Xiao Guo’s ear, “Am I in it?”

“Mmmm…”“Tell me more.”“Ngh… Chu ge… So....”

“So?”

“So… Cute,” Xiao Guo replies before kissing Chu on the nose. “D-did you think it was something naughty?” Xiao Guo sounds like he’s joking, but Chu notices the redness in his cheeks and tips of his ears.

“Your voice sounds innocent, but your face looks like you’ve been caught sinning,” Chu replies as he stands up. “Fine, I’ll go get the plates.”

Da Qing and Lao Chu had gone out, removing all the spell papers they could find around the building, fortunately they hadn’t lingered long enough to attract anything.

Shen Wei keeps one to study, his frown obvious. “This combination of spells… They’re…”

Yunlan looks up from a map with all the places where the spells were found highlighted, “What’s wrong with them?”

“They’re trying too hard.” Shen Wei starts pointing out flaws in all the scripts, finding areas where the spells actually interfere with each other. “This isn’t a proper practitioner. This isn’t even a demon.”

“A normal human has a grudge against Xiao Guo? He is literally the personification of good merit and good will,” says Da Qing. “Besides, who would even know besides us that he’s the lamp wick and then go telling demons about it?”

“Even normal humans can have their third eye opened. Worst of all, even humans can listen.”

Da Qing briefly remembers the fiasco with Congbo. “So who did Lao Zhao say something stupid in front of?”

Yunlan starts glaring from his chair, but Shen Wei speaks up first. “Arguing amongst ourselves will not solve anything. If it’s a human… It’s troubling that they’ve made contact and spread rumors. We also can’t rule out a demon working with a human.”

Da Qing gnaws on a dried fish. “So what do we do?”

Yunlan smiles. “Say Da Qing, since you like fish, how about we go fishing?”

--------

Guo slowly walks himself home, his right hand clutching the baton in his sweater pocket, his left arm still in a sling (at Chu ge’s request). Chu ge had apologized that he wasn’t able to come walk him home that night like he had the last few nights, paperwork for the gym had piled up and Zhu Hong would probably put snakes in his locker if he didn’t finish it all.

Guo smiled to himself, Chu ge had promised that he’d pick up dinner and watch a movie with him afterwards, which usually meant cuddling and making out on the couch after dinner. It was Guo’s favorite part of date nights if he was being honest and embarrassing. Chu ge’s mouth, hot and insistent, his hands cradling his head, stroking his back, his chest, his thighs… But careful, always so careful, like Guo was something precious that could break. It was nice, it felt very nice, but Chu ge always stopped himself in concern for Guo’s injuries. Or at least Guo thinks it’s because of his injuries. Guo insisted that the doctor had said it wasn’t necessary to be so careful anymore, but Chu ge, no stranger to broken bones, held firm.

“You see Xiao Guo, I am a powerful cat spirit, aren’t I? My healing spell worked like a charm on you,” Da Qing boasted while in cat form, laying on the leather couch.

Guo had been sufficiently wowed and gave Da Qing some applause and more fish. Lao Zhao threw a lollipop stick at him and told him to stop bragging.

“Who was it that only remembered how to speak cat 50 years ago, you fat cat!”

Everytime he thought about what was going on, gods, spirits, and demons, it made Guo’s head spin. He never thought he’d be in the middle of this sort of thing. It didn’t feel wrong though, if what Lao Zhao and Shen Laoshi had said about his past life was true, then surely he could handle this. Right?

The wind blew, shaking branches and shifting shadows. Guo decided to take no chances and walked a little faster. There was always tomorrow for being brave.

As he walked off, Guo did not notice the eyes watching him from behind, nor the piece of paper clinging to his shoe, waving like a yellow flag with each step.

-------

Chu lets himself into Xiao Guo’s apartment, the lights are dim and everything is quiet. Xiao Guo is laid out on the couch, dressed in his comfortable lounging clothes, napping peacefully. Chu presses a soft kiss into Xiao Guo’s forehead before going to set the table for dinner. Xiao Guo doesn’t stir, but he does smile.

“If you’re awake enough to smile, you’re awake enough to get the plates,” Chu calls out as he spreads the food out.

“But it’s such a good dream Chu ge, five more minutes…”

Chu leans over the couch to whisper in Xiao Guo’s ear, “Am I in it?”

“Mmmm…”

“Tell me more.”

“Ngh… Chu ge… So....”

“So?”

“So… Cute,” Xiao Guo replies before kissing Chu on the nose. “D-did you think it was something naughty?” Xiao Guo sounds like he’s joking, but Chu notices the redness in his cheeks and tips of his ears.

“Your voice sounds innocent, but your face looks like you’ve been caught sinning,” Chu replies as he stands up. “Fine, I’ll go get the plates.”

“C-Chu ge!” Chu stops and turns around to see Xiao Guo attempting a demure expression, but his face is too red and he won’t make eye contact. “If you really want to know what was in my dream, maybe I should show you…”

Chu briefly allows his mind to run through the scenarios before replying in a deadpan voice, “Which porn did you pick up that awful line from?”

Xiao Guo’s face turns even redder before mumbling, “Lao Zhao told me to try it.”

“Did you actually ask that shameless Yunlan for advice in seducing me?”

“H-he said he remembers you have a-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Xiao Guo’s mouth shuts with an audible click of his teeth which causes him to wince. Chu sits down next to Xiao Guo and holds his hands. “What’s this really about, Xiao Guo?”

“Chu ge likes me, I know that. But… Chu ge… Do you not want to do those other things with me?”

Chu feels his blood pressure start to rise. “What gave you that idea? Would I be here if I didn’t like you? If I didn’t find you attractive at all?”

“B-but then why do you always stop? Is… is it because I’m not experienced, Chu ge? I-I’ll learn whatever it is you want me to do!” Xiao Guo suddenly pushes Chu down into the couch and Chu goes easily, stunned by the fact that Xiao Guo is taking the initiative.

Xiao Guo sits on his thighs, a delicious weight. His collarbone peeking out from the over-large t-shirt collar taunts Chu. Xiao Guo bites his lip, hands splayed on Chu’s shoulders to hold him down, but eyes so clear and earnest, determined even.

“Tell me what you want, Chu ge…” Xiao Guo whispers. “I-I’ll do it, I’ll do it for you. I-I want t-to do these things with you Chu ge.”

“I’m in trouble,” Chu thinks because this is probably the closest to truly seductive Xiao Guo has ever gotten, not that he’s ever needed to be seductive to get Chu thinking about taking things further. Chu has thought about it plenty, spent many nights in bed alone thinking about it after their makeout sessions. Xiao Guo had also looked affected, but never pushed.

“Isn’t that just like him, to want but not ask until it gets this bad,” Chu thinks as Xiao Guo fidgets. “But he’s still braver than me.”

Chu puts his hands on Xiao Guo’s hips, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs. He feels the younger male stiffen briefly before relaxing at the touch. “You must be so tired, chasing after me like this all the time,” Chu says.

“Chu ge cares about me,” Xiao Guo says without hesitation.

“I do.”

Xiao Guo trails his hands down Chu’s chest, tracing the edges of muscles slowly with his fingertips. “T-then it’s ok. I care about Chu ge too.”

“Do you really want to do this?”

“I’m a man too, Chu ge!” Xiao Guo beats Chu’s chest with a fist. “Treat me like one!”

Chu stares up at Xiao Guo’s face, timid yet determined, and pulls him forward so their groins align. Xiao Guo isn’t hard yet, neither is Chu, but the motion sends a spark through Chu’s veins, and Chu feels gratified hearing Xiao Guo moan as well. Chu moves his hands upwards, shifting Xiao Guo’s shirt up, revealing his soft abdomen with the barest hint of abs starting to show. The skin is soft and warm under Chu’s fingertips and he delights in the sensation. Xiao Guo mirrors the action, but his face burns as he makes contact with the defined muscle groups in Chu’s chest.

The world around them seems to dim with their silent exploration of each other. Chu’s fingers brush Xiao Guo’s right nipple and Xiao Guo jerks as if he’s been electrocuted. Chu doesn’t say anything, only raises an eyebrow and Xiao Guo pouts before cheekily pinching one of Chu’s nipples in reply. Chu arches his back at the sensation, reminding them both of where Xiao Guo is sitting.

“Are you sure you want to go further? Your face is so red you might combust,” Chu teases.

Xiao Guo doesn’t reply, but instead shoves his hand down Chu’s pants and the next remark becomes a strangled moan. Chu thinks he’s seen many things, but he’s never seen Xiao Guo look that smug before.

“Wipe that weird grin off your face or it’ll get stuck that way,” Chu grumbles before grasping the outline of Xiao Guo’s erection in his pants. Chu grinds the heel of his hand against the head and is rewarded with the most delightfully high pitched moan which does wonders for his ego.

-------

Guo feels lost in sensation. Chu ge’s hands are just rough enough that every time he strokes Guo’s cock it feels wonderful instead of scratchy. Guo tries to mimic Chu ge’s motions, spreads the pre-ejaculate with his thumb like Chu ge does, follows the same rhythm, twists his wrist in the same way that Chu ge just did that made him close his eyes and shudder.

Guo realizes someone is moaning and wonders if it’s him or Chu ge, feels a hand on his arm pulling him down into a kiss that’s more like sharing air than a press of lips, but it makes him feel a buzz under his skin all the same. Chu ge pulls Guo’s pants down and Guo still feels self conscious enough to blush when his genitals are exposed.

“Don’t blush,” Chu ge whispers into Guo’s ear. “You’re perfect, you’re wonderful, you’re so good, Xiao Guo.” The words make Guo’s face burn even more, but the praise feels wonderful. Guo wants to steal the words out of the air and tuck them into his chest for ever.

“C-Chu ge, c-can I…”

Chu ge nips the shell of Guo’s ear before he says, “Yes.”

Guo sits up and pulls Chu ge’s jeans down, exposing his muscular legs and erect dick. Guo distantly wonders if after seeing it in person, he’d actually be able to go through with imagining it in private.

Chu ge pulls him back down for a proper kiss, his tongue licking the roof of Guo’s mouth, grinding his cock into Guo’s hip, working a thigh between Guo’s legs, letting him do the same. Guo doesn’t know what he wants to do more so he settles for trying to do both, humping Chu ge’s leg and kissing with all that he’s learned.

Chu ge’s hands roam up Guo’s back before grasping at his ass, pulling him forward, controlling the rhythm and Guo can’t bring himself to complain. The press of Chu ge’s fingers around each buttock feels thrilling in ways Guo isn’t sure he’s ready to contemplate. It feels so good, so dirty and messy, and Guo wishes they could go on rutting and kissing and feeling but Guo feels the pleasure start to spike, rising to a peak.

“C-Chu ge…” Guo moans, but instead of stopping, Chu ge pulls Guo down harder. “S-Shuzhi!” Guo cries out and Chu ge stops immediately, but it’s too late and Guo feels himself falling, pushed over the plateau as he orgasms. Guo feels Chu ge working him through it, stroking his cock, his hips, his thighs, his chest, calling him beautiful, wonderful, all sorts of adjectives that Guo would have never used to describe himself.

When Guo comes down from his orgasm, he feels weightless and slightly mortified at just how big the pool of semen is all over Chu ge’s shirt. Chu ge seems unphased if the rapid way he strokes his own dick is any indication. Guo screws up his courage and knocks Chu ge’s hand away and engulfs the erect member with his mouth, sucking and stroking with his tongue. It’s messy and lacks any sort of finesse, but Chu ge moans out loud and Guo thinks that means he’s doing fine. Chu ge’s hand is immediately in his hair, pulling on the dark strands, tiny twinges of pain that do nothing to stop the feeling of satisfaction growing in Guo’s gut. He did this to Chu ge.

“Xiao Guo! You don’t have to-”

Guo makes a point to suck particularly hard at that moment and is rewarded with a moan and feels Chu ge’s release in his mouth, swallowing on reflex. Guo wonders if that was the proper thing to do when he is pulled up and Chu ge is kissing him again. Deep, lazy, and satisfying kisses that share the bitter salt taste in Guo’s mouth between them. Not that Guo minds the taste; Guo doesn’t think there are many things he’d mind about Chu ge at this point short of being a serial killer or bank robber.

“How do you feel,” Chu ge murmurs into Guo’s mouth in between kisses.

“Tired and sweaty,” Guo replies as he collapses on Chu ge’s chest, ignoring the feel of his own ejaculate seeping into his shirt. “But so, so good.”

“You’re making a mess,” Chu ge says, but his tone is fond as he strokes Guo’s back, pushing his shirt up to keep the skin to skin contact going. If Guo thought feeling Chu ge’s hands on his dick was amazing, it has nothing on back rubs. Guo almost wants to purr like Da Qing when he gets scratched under his chin.

“I promise I’ll clean it,” Guo mumbles.

Guo doesn’t notice Chu ge’s smile as they continue to lay together in the afterglow.

-------

Neither of them notice the piece of yellow paper skittering across the floor like an insect into the apartment.