#and yes i can imagine them watching smth with cas

[soldierswritethesongs]

honestly. i think that the second chair in the dean cave was actually for sam. and even if sam didn't know of that room, in my head it's just. that nobody did. i haven't rewatched this ep yet and i barely remember anything but when i was watching it for the first time my thoughts were like "omg he made a room for himself to watch things and put the second chair there in case sam would ever want to join"

[spohkh]

GOOD AFTERNOON I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! Please tell me how Dean and Cas would have been if they were raising baby Jack! Also do you think Claire would have babysat for her little brother sometimes if their dads were on a hunt?

HELLO SARAH thank u for this ask that was designed to drive me, specifically, ins*ne ❤️

i feel like... okay. oh this is going to be SO rambling i apologize in advance. 

but ok so we KNOW for a fact that dean is a dad like he is just A DAD it is so integral to his being. he's caring and attentive and isn't afraid of the fact that kids can be gross or annoying because he recognizes that they are KIDS and need patience and care. so i feel like at first dean would just take over the bulk of the care for jack bc its just natural for him at this point. (IM THINKING ABOUT HIM BOUNCING THAT BABY IN WHATEVER EP THAT WAS AND ITS MAKING ME WANT TO CRY. HE IS SO GOOD WITH KIDS HES MEANT TO HAVE KIDS HES SO FULL OF LOVE!!!!) and cas ALWAYS looks to dean first when it comes to learning How To Be Human™ so he'd be watching what dean does to emulate him. i imagine theres a lot of "no no no--you need to support his head like THIS", and, "oh that means he's hungry here this is how you should hold the bottle", at the start of their care for him

GOD WASNT DEAN ALSO HUMMING A ZEPPELIN SONG TO THAT BABY HE WAS BOUNCING IN WHATEVER EPISODE THAT WAS (PLEASE SOMEONE DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT EPISODE IM TALKING ABOUT) HRRGHRGRGHGH LED ZEPPELIN LULLABIES BUT BETTER THAN THAT--BETTER THAN DEAN HUMMING HARD ROCK LULLABIES TO BABY JACK--CAS BEING LIKE OH YEAH THATS GREAT AND CASSSSSS HUMMNING HARD ROCK LULLABIIEISSS TO BABY JACKKKKK I AM GOING SUPERSONIC. 

ALSO its important to rmmbr that jack ISNT fully human so there will be things that only cas will be able to take care of. my fuckng god they really are the perfect pair to care for jack oh god im getting emotional. i have no idea what those angel-specific needs would BE.... like god when jack is especially fussy and his unchecked powers start to come out dean is like okie doke time to tap in the angel husband i cannae handle getting laserbeamed by my infant son rn 😌✌🏼 and cas is like honestly id rather deal with jack trying to suplex me into the fuckng wall than change his diaper. quite simply i must admit you humans are kinda nasty at times god bless. but yeah jack would have ALL of his needs addressed thanks to having a human dad and an angel dad which i think is so key!! and is smth that they did kind of have in the show but due to um fukcng EVERYTHING else going on i felt like his human side was kinda neglected and wasnt developed as much as it couldve/shouldve been, which led to, yknow, a lot of dangerous misunderstandings. jack certainly needs and deserves to have his WHOLE self nurtured and recognized.

also wow itd be so nice to have an eldritch interdimensional being who technically doesnt need sleep as your co-parent bc dean can get ALLLLL he blissful sleep he needs while cas takes care of the nighttime baby needs! UGH perfect

AND YES. OF COURSE CLAIRE WOULD BABYSIT JACK. GOD IF EVER THERE WERE A GIRL DESERVING OF A YOUNGER SIBLING. she has older sister syndrome ANYWAY. also shes dean kin so i think itd be REALLY funny if dean is like are you SURE youre okay to take care of him? remember hes a nephilim like he has powers it can be really dangerous when he gets too worked up. actually forget it we'll call rowena or something i dont want you to get hurt. and claire is like dad. for real. just fuck off and go kill the werewolves or whatev i got this. and when they get back from the hunt they come back and jack is like fast asleep beside claire, who is ofc completely fine, and deans like did nothing happen??? claires like WHO do you think youre talking to of course its all fine he was a perfect angel (snicker snicker) because he likes ME. like jack goes down so easy for claire hes just always so calm and happy with her, never fusses, dean is like WHAT gives like not wanting to admit hes a little jealous that jack has never tried to laserbeam HER and shes like what can i say? sibling privilege. we have an understanding :) like father like daughter shes just a natural caregiver. dean is so proud. cas is so proud. they are so happy. oh my god. they love their kids so much. 

in conclusion. dean and cas would be the most loving parents a baby nephilim could hope for. just today MY dad said to me that parents never want their kids to experience the pain that they have experienced themselves. he said that bc i was upset he wouldnt teach me how to change the light fixture in my closet bc there was a live wire and he didnt want me to get shocked like he has in the past BUT THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES where, i feel like ESPECIALLY for dean, they would do their utmost to raise jack (AND claire) with the care that was so lacking from their own childhood experiences. 

dean certainly tried with sam and did a good job, but he was a kid himself then and wasnt fully equipped to provide all the emotional support a child needs. now, as an adult in a supportive, committed relationship, dean will have the chance to REALLY devote himself in the way he was always meant to. 

and cas...well... whats more human than caring for your child? everyday his love deepens--his love for dean, his love for their little house, his love for the honeybees and the clouds in the sky. all things he was never meant to have any feelings for, he just loves and loves and loves more because of the little life he has with dean and claire and now his little baby. everyday he becomes more himself because of his love for his family, and he pours all of that back into them. he is just so adoring. he listens to every sound jack makes with keen attention, committing every nonsensical syllable to memory, because its all important. he wants to make sure jack knows how loved he is and how recognized he is and how appreciated he is, just for existing. he wants jack to feel seen and known, in the ways he never was by his own father.

the way dean and cas are with baby jack is that they try. fundamentally thats what its all about. just trying. because u love so much. thank u

[something-from-elsewhere]

Aren't u supposed to post abt ur life or smth on this site

Well here goes.

I've had a less than great past few days. I had my best friend nearly throw away much of what was keeping her safe, to which I responded, in my desperation, almost as poorly as I could've imagined.

The next day started great. I went to a job fair and made some very promising connections.

It ended poorly. Someone in the transitional house I was living in didn't like me. Let's call her Aleph. Aleph came up to me while I was talking with a staff member, and said some ridiculously ironic shit, telling me not to interrupt her while talking to staff to bitch at her (as she did exactly that, despite I'd been avoiding her?) Anyway, things escalated.

She grabbed me by the hair, pulled me out of my seat, and shoved her face in mine. Threatened me with murder. And I learned something about myself during this encounter. I could think of a few ways to get out of the situation. First, I went through what to say. I tried thinking of many different things but none of them were capable of defusing the situation. So flight was my next option. I would've tried to run had she not had my hair (despite being cornered). I thought of ways to make her release me. I could've knocked her to the floor, broken her arm, headbutted her in the nose. All these things would've been near certain escape almost unharmed, for me. I filed them as "very last ditch ideas". I ended up going with the stupid one I'd only seen in media.

Assailant grabs victim, in much the same fashion as she was me. Victim spits, assailant drops victim to wipe face, victim has a chance to run.

"My best chance" I thought. Completely uncertain of the viability, but no real harm caused to the very person threatening to kill me. That was the concern.

It didn't work. She immediately threw me to the ground, still holding my hair, and started beating me in the face with her knee. By the second blow I already knew if I turned amd kicked of a nearby desk I could easily throw her to the ground. A chance to escape. And an immediate nonoption. "What if she hit her head, or I broke something?"

Why?? I couldn't even tell you. But as she continued to wail on my face with great brutality, while telling me "If we were outside right now I'd kill you", I sat, knowing exactly how to escape the situation but not even attempting for fear of damaging someone.

I'm no saint, but apparently I'm a pacifist. To a fault in some interpretations, while others have praised me for it. I personally don't really know how to feel, but I defo want to learn some de-escalation techniques.

So I couldn't throw a punch to save my life, right? And I'm too damn dumb to know how to get out of such a situation otherwise. Well I got kicked out of my housing for it. Yea. Because of the spit. I dunno abt you, but that seems like a possibly misguided attempt at self-defense, in which I was more concerned about my assailant's health and wellbeing than my own.

So now, I'm going to be put out on the streets. With said agressor. I was terrified. How could I sleep at night? I turned to the one person I knew I was capable of harming. I hadn't made it to the edge of the first story railing by the time I was brought to the ground by a member of staff.

I don't know if I would've done it. I doubt it. I really want to live, and sure I was terrified but I'm pretty sure I just wanted to see if even that was available as an escape route. As mentioned, it wasn't. But another had opened, of sorts.

I answered the cop's questions honestly, and he said he couldn't take me in as I didn't meet criteria for a 51-50. So the case manager for the program suggested I talk to someone. I answered essentially "Yes??? Of course??????? Trauma???"

And so he took me to a mental facility and I swear fast talked me into there. I had no one to talk to. We weren't allowed erasers, so I couldn't draw.

I tried talking to some of the folk there but those who weren't yelling and banging on the walls (getting a good few anxiety attacks out of me and a couple full on panic attacks) would either hear completely different words than I said, or incessantly misgender me, or only talk about sexual experiences in disgusting detail.

I met somebody awesome the last day I was there. But for most of the first two I had TV and sleep as company, along with staff who were scarcely receptive to conversation.

At the end of the second day I was going stir crazy and finally got some contacts out of my phone so I could talk to a friend. I sobbed so hard through most of the conversation I soaked a good portion of my shirt.

I got out, and I'm doing a helluva lot better. I've got a bed for the night, I was able to shower, fresh clothes, study, watch the latest episode of Netflix's Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, study. But I've got no idea where I'll sleep tomorrow.

And I have to carry two suitcases and a backpack everywhere I go (along with my purse, which purse + suitcase = hell)

I've filed a grievance against the handling of the situation, especially with the times Aleph had openly threatened me in front of staff and how I'd pushed for a conflict resolution workshop or something similar. But until that goes through I'm vulnerable.

I have $22 and no credit card (plus debt). I've applied for GA, meeting on Wednesday.

I need to:

A) Find somewhere to sleep

B) Avoid cops

C) Avoid Aleph (esp in unsurveilled areas)

D) Be interview-ready, should the need arise

E) Keep all my stuff safe

I dunno what to do, really. I'm going to spend as much time looking for resources as I can, but I really don't know what to do.

If by some miracle any of my couple dozen or so mutuals have any advice I'd love to hear it. I live in Sacramento, CA. Honestly a safe place to store my shit alone would be a miracle.