#and would let me do damage with DEX instead of STR

[warlordfelwinter]

aster rolled a d8 and a d6 for damage and got fucking ONE i've literally never been so angry in a ttrpg

[danwhobrowses]

Since Critical Role's big endgame battle has begun (as of ep. 113) and looks to give us a fair handful of Lv. 20 combat across the board with VM and later the Nein - and also since the Omen Archive are yet to do a level up overview for Bell's Hells to Lv. 15 like I expected them to do after ep. 112 - I find myself optimistically and curiously wondering how Bells Hells would shape up should they reach Lv. 20.

Admittedly, I do remain worried about how underleveled they are; I know it's intended since the Hells are the 'underdogs not meant to be in this position' group but still, for comparison Essek debuted at Lv. 15 in C2 and Vox Machina ended their campaign at Lv. 18 when the stakes were slightly lower than what we have with Ludinus, the Vanguard, the Imperium, and Predathos. Still, with nothing we can do but pray they make it out alive - and I hope they do - I've decided to indulge that rare bout of optimism and deep dive into what would their Lv. 20 state look like? While also considering what they may add during this final arc should they level up in between like they did the last time they were on Ruidus.

We're gonna go through each character one by one for this, so I'll start with my favourite (aka the one I wanna talk/ramble the most about).

Ashton is perhaps the easiest endgame build to tell class-wise, it's likely Tal will have them go the full 20 since Grog has already done the Fighter dip and there's not many other multiclasses that can be of a greater benefit to them; the intrigue however with Ashton focuses on the ASI they get at levels 16 and 19, the first one particularly if there's still a level up mid-battle. The obvious route for the first ASI is to get back the CON they lost in the shard incident - which I still find an unfair penalty since they gained nothing from surviving the bold and deemed impossible action, 'your reward is you get to live' doesn't stick with me given that the 10 rolls (well, 9 plus the resurrection ring) are proof of survival anyway - and absorbing Dusk Hunger sadly didn't give back, adding to their DEX instead - which, also kinda stubborn of Matt, adding 1 AC isn't exactly worthy of absorbing a legendary item especially compared to what Orym got with Ishta, they were better off trying to dual wield it if Matt's not gonna give stats that'll suit Ashton's wheelhouse, STR and CON, and let the tank be a tank - so it will likely fall into Tal's hands to get Ashton's stats to where they want them to be. Either way, Ashton's STR and CON are going up if they hit Lv. 20 as pure Barbarian, Primal Champion adds 4 to both and increases their max to 24, so without ASI Ashton will have 22 STR and 20 CON by Lv. 20 anyway, with ASI however Ashton can go 24/22 in either direction - and we can't rule out more absorption in the future, since Legendary loot may be yielded from this endgame battle plus Otohan's Backpack, Zathuda's storage cloak and maybe any other armour from the two could be Legendary items just gathering dust among the group, but if Ashton were to take any of them they'd have to wait a day since the Harness only grants 1 permanent and 1 temporary buff per person, and each person who uses it on the same day risks it breaking by 20%. However, we also can't rule out Ashton taking a feat instead of ASI, it's a slim chance but there are some feats that can be of use for Ashton in general or specifically vs Ludinus; Mage Slayer, Strike of the Giants (Hill or Stone Strike, of the two I'd go for Hill because of it causing the prone condition, which will help Ashton and allies, like Orym with that 1d6 extra Force Damage, stack critical damage), and Great Weapon Master could be powerful if they don't focus on ASI. The Tough feat is always good for being tanky too, but such a feat would likely only be used at the Lv. 19 ASI/Feat domain to get the most out of it. The only other places Ashton can get major potential buffs - outside of any new enchanted items that aren't armour - are from Dunamancy and their Titan powers, but neither have provided a clear opening for improvement as of yet. Ashton hit their final Dunamancy path at Lv. 14, where they got Mark of the Messy End (which compared to Essek getting access to stuff like Reality Break doesn't seem to balance out but I guess Wizards are glass cannons so Dunamancy does more with them), but there is a quiet, lingering mystery over how Potions of Possibility and Luxon Beacons will behave if Ashton and their Dunamancy brain interacts with them, given how they have many potions on hand, in general and gifted to them by the Kryn Dynasty before they met with the Nein, and Ludinus using Luxon Beacons as power sources, there is potential for Ashton's Dunamancy to increase that way - or simply through Matt adding an extra Dunamancy path in place of an ASI/Feat, a Dunamancy-based feat, or swapping Primal Champion with something else. The Titan Form could also improve by level, and I kinda hope it does, it's powerful but given the time limit and Exhaustion it's still below the level of Grog's Titanstone Knuckles in terms of utility, if more power or less limitations are imposed the higher their level it could scale Ashton up further in a similar manner to having a Vestige or, in Orym's case, a Relic of the Red Solstice.

Speaking of Orym, you'd assume that he'll also go for the clean 20, but this is Liam O'Brien we're talking about - he gave Vax a Druid level for his love of Keyleth, so you can't put it past him to add a level in Bard for Dorian. Like Ashton, Orym has 2 ASI waiting for him at levels 16 and 19, due to maxing his DEX - and absorbing Ishta overclocking it (a DEX increase that actually makes sense as a Finesse blade Fighter, adding +1 to AC and attack rolls and a higher DC for enemies to save against superiority die attacks) - Orym has already dipped into feats a lot but could always find room for more. Great Weapon Master, Shield Master, Mage Slayer, and Tough again at level 19 are viable options for Orym and his build, but there's also a unique option of, instead of taking a level in Bard, Magic Initiate: Bard in lieu of Dorian; taking the feat lets him gain the 4th attack Lv. 20 Fighter yields while adding some handy Bard magic such as Friends, Thunderwave, Command, Bane or Cure Wounds - all of which are Level 1 Bard spells. While adding a level in Bard would be a nice gesture, the Magic Initiate feat would probably work better for Orym's build if he wanted to reference his connection to Dorian this way, since he doesn't need 4 extra 1st level spells and he already has a lot of proficiencies and bonuses to cover his rolls anyway, plus he still carries the sending stone if he doesn't want to do either. If he went for ASI, Orym could try to rival Ayden's passive perception by buffing his WIS, but I doubt anybody would hold it against him to be less perceptive than a god. Regardless of ASI and feats, a pure 20 in Fighter does up Orym's lethality immensely, getting a potential 12 attacks with two Action Surges - the second gained in Lv. 17 - in one round (16 attacks if hastened and 17 if hastened and a Time Rage Mark of the Messy End - which I believe allows you to attack with Bonus Actions - is used on an enemy), which would make him an extra efficient killer and protector for combat, which suits his character as well. While multiclassing is an uncommon trait to reference a partner, in Orym's case it's probably moreso cute but unnecessary flavouring.

Adding an element of their partner into their build is something Imogen has done already with decent effect, however. Imogen is another pure 20 likelihood; she has 2 ASI, a Metamagic choice, her final Origin Feature - Warping Implosion: essentially you teleport and anyone within 30 feet will be caught in a gravity fissure - and Sorcerous Restoration - 4 sorcery points restored per short rest - waiting for her at the full 20. As alluded, she already has Laudna influences in the Shadow Touched feat and a vial of her blood in her equipment so she needn't use a feat or a multiclass in further reference to her, which means it comes down to what options she chooses for her ASI/Feats and future skills. With her CHA maxed out already, the two ASI would need to go elsewhere or to feats; War Caster could be used to help her concentration spells, such as the reskinned Hunger of Hadar, Telekinesis, and Investiture of Lightning, unused spells such as her mother's Reverse Gravity, Hold Person, or Globe of Invulnerability, or future 8th-9th level spells such as Dominate Monster, Gate, and Mass Polymorph (turn them all into horses!). Otherwise using one of those ASI to add 1 to INT and WIS will add to saving throws of those stats (+1 for INT and +2 for WIS), she can also remove all her stat negatives by adding an ASI to her STR in place of a feat. Imogen also has options with choosing a final Metamagic from Sorcerer; she has Quickened, Distant, and Twinned Spell already, so the next one needs to also be helpful in combat; the potential of Extended and Transmuted Spell are decent, but Heightened Spell may be the best fit for her - spending 3 Sorcery points to impose disadvantage on a spell save can be very useful when using Imogen's spells such as Psychic Lance, especially against powerful magic users like Ludinus. Going a little extra meta with things, Imogen at Lv. 20 is only going to exist in one-shots or guest appearances - which means short rests aren't likely to faze her as much, also recovering 4 out of a total of 20 Sorcery Points per short rest isn't a lot when you get all of them back after a Long Rest. If Imogen were to pull a swerve and multiclass she could simply sacrifice an ASI for an 18/2 split or just take a 19/1 dip without it doing any negative effect to her current build. Of the multiclassing options, I find that the Tempest Cleric could gel pretty well with her build; connecting her lightning magic and her storm analogies (and her attempt to reach out to the Stormlord) from a narrative perspective, while combat-wise she'd get to use Wrath of the Storm to damage anyone that attacks her (as many times as her WIS, so 1-3 depending on her ASI usage) and, if she goes for the 18/2 split, she can use the class' Channel Divinity to max out a spell's lightning damage - which if used on a 9th Level Lightning Bolt is 76 damage without enhancements! - she also gets some minor healing to add to her repertoire, and with a group without a pure Cleric you can't really have a shortage of players who can heal even if it's a little bit. I can't see any other dip doing her as much benefit, so the full 20 is more likely, even if the maxed out Lightning Bolt would work wonders.

You know who also knows Lightning Bolt? Well, a fair amount of players and NPCs but also Dorian! Let's talk our Boy in Blue - no I did not say 'Blue in Boy' in my head when typing, shush! - he's our last PC likely to be a pure 20 of the group, also because the rest have already multiclassed, but like Imogen there is also the opening for a little bit of multiclassing. The ASI in levels 16 and 19 are probably best put into maxing his CHA stat that's currently at 16, DEX could also go up to 20 for additional Gambolcleft damage but the sword is pretty powerful as it is - it depends if Robbie wants Dorian to focus on Spell or Melee output for stats, but casting is probably the better way to go. Not many feats would help Dorian outside of maybe Tough and War Caster, perhaps Slasher but they do seem like minor additions he can go without, so ASI is likely the best route to take for him. Unlike with Orym where a dip in Bard wouldn't do much good mechanically, Dorian could easily take a dip in Fighter and have it be a solid investment; the Bard's Lv. 20 ability Superior Inspiration only helps if you've used up all of your Inspiration, and as said with Imogen that probably won't come up in a one-shot scenario where Lv. 20 Dorian would likely appear, but by Lv. 19 he will already have added spells from any magic class via his final dip into Magical Secrets - and honestly I have no clue what one he could take because like, all of the spells! Wish is probably the go-to one but Dorian doesn't want anything from the gods so maybe not? - and he'll already have a 9th level spell slot from earlier levels. A 1-level dip in Fighter can give Dorian Second Wind for some self-healing and another Fighting Style to choose from: either Superior Technique - like Orym has - or Duelist would suit best, and if Robbie sacrifices an ASI he can go up to a 2nd level for Action Surge, which is handy should he focus on melee. There aren't many other 1-level dips that would suit Dorian narratively, there was probably Warlock potential in EXU: Prime when the crown was in play but since, again, the group lacks a pure healer, Dorian is probably better off investing his stats and skills towards Bard spells - which in turn bolsters DPS as well as healing.

From one Bard/DPS healer to another, Braius debuted with some pretty high stats to begin with, with only WIS being a negative modifier. As a 12/3 multiclass he can go a few different directions - much like his character arc and selection of deity - but it leaves him at a crossroads - also like his character arc. The 12 levels in Oath of the Ancients Paladin means he's locked out of getting Bard's Magical Secrets, if he maxes out his remaining levels in Bard he gets 2 ASI, a College of Tragedy feature (make crits be at rolls 18, 19 and 20 after an ally is hit with a crit plus a '+10 on a roll but a -10 penalty on the next' skill), Countercharm, and his Bardic Inspiration dice will go up to 1d8, but all of those are kinda covered by Dorian's higher level Bard class and Ashton's Mark of the Messy End while in Luck Rage to a higher or better extent. The 3 levels in Bard however has locked Braius out of Paladin's Aura improvements and the big Elder Champion buff, which is a big loss, if maxed out in Paladin they'll get Cleansing Touch - end a spell on yourself or anyone you can touch as many times as your CHA, one ASI, a 5th level spell slot (handy for Banishing Smite, Circle of Power, Destructive Wave, and Summon Celestial), and Undying Sentinel - which is just a once-a-long-rest Relentless Rage with no CON save. Build-wise, it would be best for Braius to go one of three different paths; either go for a 15/5 split - so no 5th level spell but he gets 1 ASI, Undying Sentinel, and Font of Inspiration for the 1d8 inspiration - a 14/6 split - where we swap Undying Sentinel for the college feature, or go the unique path and add a third class - while the 5th level spell slot has powerful spells Braius' combat is much more melee-based so it is a less likely option. A 14/3/3 triple split sacrifices his ASI/feats but 3 levels in Fighter gives him another Fighting Style, Action Surge, Second Wind, and a Fighter subclass to add to his combat prowess. One unlikely Fighter subclass that could suit Braius is the Rune Knight; with 3 levels Braius will have access to 2 runes, which can be tied to his character's artistry, to add to his gear - the Fire and Cloud Runes being the most useful to him from what I see - they would also get Giant's Might as a skill for an extra 1d6 of damage once per turn. Fighter isn't the only class Braius can benefit from though; he would only need to dip 2 levels in Cleric or Druid to gain their subclass-based abilities; a Shepherd Druid would give the group a slight benefit with the Hawk Spirit skill, using a reaction to attack with advantage and having advantage on perception checks, but similar to Imogen he'd probably benefit a bit more from dipping into Cleric - particularly Grave, War, Ambition, and Peace Domain Clerics, who each have abilities that can further empower him. A dip in Barbarian would be handy for Danger Sense - not so much Rage because you can't use spells - maybe opting for the Zealot path subclass, which also suits narratively, for an extra 1d6 damage, or a dip in the Monster Hunter Ranger to aid in picking out weaknesses. A 12/4/4 split could also work, forgoing Cleansing Touch to grant Braius 2 ASI or feats if Sam wanted them; with that they can balance their WIS to 10 and then max out their CHA and another +1 elsewhere, or just do a feat like Fey Touched - since he was touched plenty by a Fey Hag all across her manor - to max the CHA and gain a spell like Hunter's Mark to aid in combat.

Speaking of Hunters, Chetney may not have been designed to survive the campaign but with Travis rolling the fatal 0 when playing as Grog that old man is still, somehow, kicking. If Travis doesn't pull a Bertrand and allows him to continue defying the odds and live to Lv. 20, Chetney would be in a similar position to Braius - having gone the Tealeaf route and locked himself out of the full 20 in Blood Hunter by having a dip in Rogue - in being in a crossroads of classes. If he invests his remaining levels in Blood Hunter to 19, he still gets a lot from the class; 2 Order Features (advantages on bloodlust saving throws and on any branded creature, then unlimited hybrid transformations on the next feature), 2 ASI, and an extra Blood Maledict. Chetney's 1-level dip in Rogue however means he could also invest into any Rogue subclass for a 17/3 split (or a 16/4 split if he sacrifices a Blood Maledict for 2 ASI over one) instead; Assassin would help his damage output especially since he likes going Invisible, but the Revived subclass would be funny implying that he died but miraculously came back and no longer needed to risk dying in his sleep because he doesn't need to sleep anymore. Chet could also triple class like we suggested with Braius; 3-5 levels in Artificer - since he's a toymaker his toys can be infused beyond the enchanted distractions, going for the Armorer subclass can also be handy for the Thunder Gauntlets ability too, 2 levels in Fighter - for Action Surge, 2-4 levels in Monk - which has decent potential if his chisel is made a dedicated weapon plus the possible boons from Kensei, Mercy, or Open Hand paths, or even 3 levels in Ranger - where Hunter, Gloom Stalker, and Monster Slayer subclasses each have skills that could help Chet in combat, can all be seen as options, but it can also run the risk of being overcomplicated. Despite a Feat sidestepping Chet losing control in his Hybrid Form, logic says that Chet would likely stick with the 19/1 route since the feat only imposes a disadvantage against losing control and he can still do collateral damage, character-wise he'd likely want to keep his Lycanthropy on lock as much as he can. Plus, going to 19 Blood Hunter levels yields unlimited transformations and the second ASI hits at Lv. 19; with the two ASI - which he cannot get from triple classing - he can max out his STR and buff up his CON, DEX, and/or CHA for any additional bonuses, he has no negative stats so any are fair game. I don't see any feats that'd be too helpful, but outside of AC or DC boosts from increasing CON or DEX, upping CHA could also help with persuasion and being persuasive and tricksy.

Persuasive and Tricksy are some of many words you can use to define Fearne, who is also a Rogue multiclass. Her current 10/5 with Wildfire Druid as the majority allows her some wiggle room for her to go a few different directions. The 5 levels in Rogue have locked her out of a second ASI in Druid, the timeless body (not really a big deal for a fey), additional Wild Shape perks, and the 9th Level Spell Slot though, but if she invests only into Druid levels for the full 15 she does still gain one ASI and her Wildfire Feature 'Blazing Revival' - where once per long rest Mister can sacrifice himself (I don't think it's a permadeath sacrifice just like an 'off the board until resummoned' sacrifice) to revive her to half HP if she's downed - alongside a 6th, 7th and 8th level spell slot. If she goes for an even spread of 10 levels each with Rogue's Arcane Trickster however, she gains 2 ASI, 2 more proficiencies, Evasion, Magical Ambush, and a few more lower level spells. Both have valid directions - and as much as Fearne is a 'collector' I think a third class probably won't suit her and will perplex Ashley further - for her character even with mixing the level splits; a 12/8 split will grant her 2 ASI and a 6th level spell slot, while a 14/6 split grants one ASI, a 6th and 7th level spell slot, the Blazing Revival, and 2 proficiencies. Since Fearne doesn't do many sneak attacks and uses her Rogue abilities more for pickpocketing, it would probably be sensible to lean more towards Druid; a 15/5 split if she wants that 8th level spell slot for Sunburst, Incendiary Cloud, or Feeblemind, but a 14/6 split if she can do without - Plane Shift could narratively be on her radar so she can travel to the Feywild as she pleases, but Fire Storm is still a mighty 7th level spell that can be additionally buffed by her titan form which as mentioned with Ashton could also potentially scale up with levels - would give her more stuff to work with, plus extra Druid Levels buffs up Mister's health so he could be looking at 75-80 total HP (5+(Druid Level x 5)) depending on whether Fearne goes level 14 or 15. Since Fearne took War Caster already from her last level and her WIS is already maxed out, ASI to CON could be looked into to add health, AC, and DC, while also improving her chances at holding concentration for her saving throws, alternatively she can up her DEX to improve her pickpocketing so she can finally claim one of those eggs, since she's tragically 0-2 on that. Feat-wise, there is still the Elemental Adept: Fire feat to bypass enemy resistances to Fire too, lots of enemies will have Fire Resistance after all, so if she doesn't want to use ASI there is still that to use it on. So level-wise there is some wiggle room but class-wise she is better off picking one to focus on.

Our final member of the Hells Laudna has already picked her focused class; on a 12/3 Sorlock with her patron bound to a soul anchor - get fucked Delilah - she has implied to go pure Sorcerer from herein. Marisha has previously stated that she saw no gain in any more Warlock levels even when Delilah was still active and while a 6th level in Warlock would grant her an ASI at Lv.4 and unlocks Grave Touched - change damage to Necrotic plus 1 extra damage die when in Form of Dread, which is pretty solid - it does indeed suit narratively for Laudna to avoid more Warlock levels. The 3 levels she has gained from Warlock though have (war)locked her out of her final Sorcery feature of Umbral Form - which would've made her resistant to everything but Force and Radiant Damage, so like Braius' Primal Champion it's quite the loss - but she still looks to get Shadow Walk which aids her mobility, providing that there's darkness or shadows in the vicinity, as well as one ASI and another Metamagic option by continuing the Sorcerer's path, not to mention a dangerous 9th level spell slot. Unlike Imogen, Laudna opted for Empowered Spell in her current Metamagics alongside Quickened and Twinned, doing Heightened or Transmuted probably wouldn't suit Laudna like it does her partner though. Instead, Careful Spell could be a good choice for Laudna since her CHA is maxed out, so she could pick 5 creatures to auto-succeed a saving throw to a spell she sends, but since she doesn't have many AoE spells Extended Spell may be the better fit to keep up concentration on spells like Animate Objects, Mirror Image, or any future powerful concentration spells she'll have access to like Eyebite, Globe of Invulnerability, Reverse Gravity, or Blade of Disaster - which Delilah used pretty effectively in Aeor - ongoing. Even so, the one ASI remains; the Amulet of Health puts her CON to a fixed 19 so if she added one CON it'd be 16 without attunement, which is still pretty good but worthless if she just keeps using the amulet, she could put +1 in her woeful STR so it's a -2 rather than -3, or opt for feats such as War Caster - for those powerful concentration spells - or another Eldritch Invocation with Eldritch Adept, such as Armor of Shadows or Eldritch Spear, which may be more fitting for her fun scary nature.

And that's all of them, for a TL/DR I expect Ashton, Orym, Dorian and Imogen to do the pure 20 for their classes, while Chetney will go 19/1, Braius and Fearne go 14/6, and Laudna goes 17/3. But if it were me, the only ones I'd adjust from those would be Dorian (19/1, adding Fighter), Imogen (18/2, adding Tempest Cleric), and Braius (14/3/3, adding Rune Knight Fighter) just from a meta/fun perspective. Either way I'll just be happy to see them make Level 20, so fingers and every other digit I have stay crossed for whichever route they choose.

[dungeonmalcontent]

How to play a real genuine werewolf in core 5e (so you don't have to resort to blood hunter).

Step 1) warlock. Undead patron.

Hear me out. Form of dread transforms you to reflect your patron. Your patron is a werewolf lord. RAW, werewolves are "humanoids", yes. However, mythologically, they tend to fall under undead as often as they don't. Or if you want a real comparison, Discworld werewolves are undead differently alive.

But the transformation grants you temp hp, a fear effect, and immunity to the frightened condition.

Step 2) invocations - beast speech and anything else you want, I suggest cloak of flies.

Beast speech is pretty obvious. You're being a beast cursed person, you can speak to beasts. Cloak of flies is because you will probably be melee. But also your second invocation will change later.

Step 3) pact of the blade

For this simple reason. Natural weapons available to the player are considered weapons. Therefore, you can summon them as a pact weapon. And you are going to be taking the claws from beast path barbarian form of the beast feature. These claws deal 1d6, but they double up. Every time you use one for an attack action, you can "take one additional claw attack as part of that same action." This will come back later.

And since you've leveled up to 3, you can swap invocations. You can pick up improved pact weapon. This makes your hands a +1 magic weapon.

Step 4) level 4, split paths

At 4th level, you take a feat (hopefully you didn't need the ASI) and it should probably be one of these:

+ slasher (TCE) Dex or Str up, reduce speed on claw attacks, and impose a round of disadvantage on a target you crit on.

+ fighting initiate (TCE) you get a fighter fighting style. I would select unarmed. And this would be a discussion with your GM, but it can potentially make your claws a d8 weapon instead of d6. It also lets you do automatic damage to creatures you grapple. Otherwise you can grab superior technique (but at that point you should be doing martial adept, not fighting initiate) or two weapon fighting which I would argue let's you off-hand with your claws.

+ Tough (PHB) this is self explanatory. You wanna be a brawling warlock? You need hit points.

+ eldritch adept (TCE) which is also self explanatory. You get an extra invocation. Always useful. Especially with pact of the blade.

+ fey touched (TCE) you get a cha +1 and misty step and then either hunter's mark or hex (and you get these spells as learned and as a freebie)

Step 5) level 5 new invocation

Not going to beat around the bush. Thirsting blade. If you were smart, you have fighting initiate and either deal 1d8s or get an extra 1d6 off-hand. With thirsting blade you get to do something cheeky. Remember how I said that additional attack with the claws would be coming back? You get extra attack. But the claws specify an "additional" attack as part of the attack action. That means 3 swipes at a d8 with unarmed style or 3 attacks and an off-hand swipe with two-weapon fighting.

If you picked up eldritch adept at level 4, you can also swap that extra invocation to eldritch smite.

Step 6+) it all works out pretty naturally from here. You can get some fun spells to augment your werewolfishness and damage output (spirit shroud is super good, so are mirror image and armor of agathys), some items like the insignia of claws from hoard of the dragon queen, and you can keep stacking feats as you get ASI (or if you picked variant human/custom lineage and start with a feat you have more options).

But also, at this point if you haven't asked "why not just play path of the beast barbarian?" I'm going to tell you now. You get more hit points, yes. But you don't get spells, you have less versatility and utility, and you scale slower. It's also just so much more fun to do it the weird way.

[voidbornmenace]

Stay at Home Gale: How to Maximize At Camp Characters

I will have plenty of notes throughout that describe useful tips or make how effective a feature is clear, however I do want to state at the top. If you are playing single player, it is possible to get a full party of custom characters from the beginning. What this allows you to do is have 3 extra characters for Camp. For me personally I would have these spare Custom characters do camp builds rather than Origin characters (except Gale, but we'll get into that later). Combined with the 3 Hirelings you can get from Withers means you can have 3 free characters whose sole purpose is to provide value to your party (said value will be tallied up at the end).

Note: you don't need the 3 custom characters, you can just use regular companions, I won't judge. You can also make the 3 custom characters and use companions, and frankly you'd make me proud.

Build 1: Pharmacy Wizard

Wizard 2 (Transmutation) → Rogue 1 (expertise Medicine) → Wizard 6 → Cleric 3

17 str / 8 dex / 14 con / 10 int / 16 wis / 8 cha

Experimental Alchemy (Wizard 2)

You brew two Alchemical Solutions instead of one when combining extracts, if you succeed a Difficulty Class 15 Medicine Check.

By level 5 (first ASI for this build) with 18 wisdom, it has a +10 to this check

At level 12 with 20 Wisdom, it +13 to the check

When making solutions, give them guidance and self cast owl’s wisdom for +1d4 and advantage on the checks.

Camp Spells (Wizard)

Light, Longstrider, Mage Armor, Darkvision, Enhance Ability (Owl’s Wisdom on Self)

Transmuter’s Stone (Wizard 6)

Store some of your transmutation magic in a small stone. A creature carrying the stone gains a benefit of your choice.

Transmuter's Stone: Constitution: Create a stone that grants the carrier Proficiency in Constitution saving throws.

Transmuter's Stone: Darkvision: Create a stone that lets the carrier see in the dark out to a range of 18 m / 60 ft.

Transmuter's Stone: Speed: Create a stone that increases the carrier's movement speed by  3 m / 10 ft.

Transmuter's Stone: Resistance: Create a stone that grants the carrier Resistance to Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, or Thunder.

Camp Spells (Cleric)

Aid, Protection from Poison, Warding Bond

Note: By 12th level (or 11th without the rogue levels) this character can cast max level Aid

Note: Gale has the NPC feature Regains hit points while not in your party, so Gale can cast Warding Bond on all 4 party members and likely never die. The game will tell you it's 1d8+3 restoration and be usable a number of times equal to his level, this is a lie. It's unlimited use and fully restores him. The only instance where he can die is if he takes too much damage before he can heal (taking Warding Bond damage staggers him, delaying his heal by about 3-4 seconds). If you want him, and by extension your warding bonds to be as safe as possible, make him go Cleric 3 / Barbarian 9. Get him to 20 Con (18 Con from an ASI, and +2 Con from The Dwarven Splintmail or Enraging Heart Garb) and grab Tough. Even if he is your Pharmacist and not this damage sponge build, Enraging Heart Garb, and him being in the radius of Aid/Heroes' Feast Spells when give him more survivability. Damage he can take can also be reduced by resistances.

Note: You can very easily have 4 stay at home Transmutation Wizards so your full party can have Transmuter Stones. The strongest stones are Con save Proficiency and Speed, the weakest is Darkvision (effectively useless). You only need 1 character to have a level in Rogue for the expertise in Medicine, and that will be your Alchemy Solution crafter for the whole game.

Build 2: Tons of Healing

Life Cleric 11 / Druid 1

Camp Spells

Goodberry, Warding Bond, Freedom of Movement, Deathward, Heroes’ Feast

Spell Slot Usage: 4th level on Deathwards. 6th on Heroes’ Feast. Everything else on Goodberry

10 Spell slots (4 1st, 3 2nd, 3 3rd, 2 5th): 48 Goodberries

Build 3: A spare Bard

Valor Bard 10

Gives the whole party a d10 inspiration and Freedom of Movement. Can also give Goodberries via magical secrets or a level dip into Druid. This character also gives you an extra short rest.

In total, with 7 characters (3 Custom/3 Hirelings/ 1 Gale) you get:

Longstrider: +10ft movement

Mage Armor: 13+Dex AC to anyone not wearing armor

Darkvision: 40ft Darkvision to anyone without it from elsewhere

Warding Bond on all your party members: +1 to AC and all saves, resistance to all damage.

Heroes' Feast: +12 Max HP, Frightened and Poison Immunity, Free Camp Supplies

Aid: +25 Max HP

Combat Inspiration: d10 (and +1 Short rest)

Death Ward on all party members: first time you are reduced to 0 hp you instantly regain 1 hit point

Freedom of Movement on all party members: Movement Speed can't be reduced by Difficult Terrain, spells or magical effects. Can't be Paralyzed or Restrained

Transmuter Stones: Either Con save Proficiency or +10ft movement

Note: I can't test this at the moment but I don't see any reason you can't have transmutation wizards give +10ft speed and Con save proficiency to everyone who lacks it by having 5+ Transmutation Wizards.

48 or more Goodberries (at least 48d4 out of combat healing)

Note: the Periapt of Wound Closure can be passed around out of combat so all the d4s will be 4s.

[paperanddice]

Individual clockwork beetles are more fancy accessories than weapons, intended to be companions to the wealthy. There are many designs of beetle, from incandescent ladybugs to majestic stag beetles, usually all averaging about the size of a house cat. Despite not being designed as weapons of war, they usually still have some defensive capabilities, letting them function as emergency protectors of their purchasers with razor sharp mandibles (or occasionally horns), and to facilitate this function they have small reservoirs built into them to allow them to carry venom. Many are unaware of this option, but those who do know usually surreptitiously purchase some venom in the case of emergency.

Rarely however, large numbers of these clockworks can go rogue. Sometimes this is by design, a creator building in some form of override switch or failsafe to take control of any of their beetles as needed. Other times it happens with a more careless creator who leaves bugs in the clockwork beetle's programming, causing them to go wild and bond with each other instead of their intended owner. In either case, a swarm of clockwork beetles has no proper goal or plan, simply flying about erratically and getting into conflicts with those who try and intercept it. Ideally, in such a situation the clockwork mechanisms running the swarm would wind down, but in the case of purposefully designed swarms (and some accidental ones) the beetles are capable of winding each other, prolonging the swarm indefinitely until either dismissed or destroyed.

Inspired by the Tome of Beasts 1. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

Pathfinder 2e

Clockwork Beetle Creature -1 Uncommon Tiny Clockwork Construct Mindless Perception +4; low-light vision Skills Acrobatics +6, Stealth +6 Str -1, Dex +3, Con +0, Int -5, Wis +1, Cha -5 Wind Up 24 hours, DC 14 AC 14; Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +2 HP 6; Immunities death effects, disease, doomed, drained, fatigued, healing, mental, necromancy, nonlethal attacks, paralyzed, poison, sickened, unconscious; Weaknesses electricity 2, orichalcum 2 Speed 25 feet, fly 45 feet Melee mandibles +6 (finesse), Damage 1d6-1 piercing Poison The clockwork beetle has an internal reservoir where it can store a single dose of poison. The beetle can fill the reservoir from an open container using 3 actions. When it hits with a mandibles Strike, it can choose to inject the target with the poison, draining the reservoir.

Clockwork Beetle Swarm Creature 3 Rare Large Clockwork Construct Mindless Swarm Perception +8; low-light vision Skills Acrobatics +10, Stealth +10 Str -1, Dex +3, Con +1, Int -5, Wis +1, Cha -5 AC 18; Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +6 HP 33; Immunities bleed, death effects, disease, doomed, drained, fatigued, healing, mental, necromancy, nonlethal attacks, paralyzed, poisoned, precision, sickened, swarm mind, unconscious; Resistances bludgeoning 2, piercing 6, slashing 6; Weaknesses area damage 5, splash damage 5 Speed 25 feet, fly 45 feet Swarming Mandibles [one action] Each enemy in the swarm's space takes 2d8 piercing damage (DC 17 basic Reflex save). Creatures that fail this save are exposed to Giant Centipede Venom. Giant Centipede Venom (poison); Saving Throw DC 17 Fortitude; Maximum Duration 6 rounds; Stage 1 1d6 poison damage (1 round); Stage 2 1d8 poison damage and flat-footed (1 round); Stage 3 1d12 poison damage, clumsy 1, and flat-footed (1 round)

13th Age

Clockwork Beetle  0th level mook troop [construct]  Initiative: +6 Vulnerability: Lightning Poisoned Mandibles +5 vs. AC - 1 damage. Natural Even Hit: The target also takes 3 poison damage. Flight. Inorganic Immunity: The clockwork beetle is immune to effects. It can’t be dazed, weakened, confused, made vulnerable, affected by ongoing damage, etc. AC 16 PD 14 MD 10 HP 5 (mook) Mook: Kill one clockwork beetle mook for every 5 damage dealt to the mob.

Clockwork Beetle Swarm  3rd level wrecker [construct]  Initiative: +9 Vulnerability: Lightning Swarming Bites +8 vs. PD (all engaged enemies) - 5 damage. Natural Even Hit: The target also takes 3 poison damage. Flight. Inorganic Immunity: The clockwork beetle swarm is immune to effects. It can’t be dazed, weakened, confused, made vulnerable, affected by ongoing damage, etc. No Opportunities: The clockwork beetle swarm can’t make opportunity attacks, and enemies can’t make opportunity attacks against it. Swarming Resistance 16+: Each turn, the clockwork beetle swarm gains resist damage 16+ to all damage from attacks by enemies the swarm didn’t attack that turn. AC 18 PD 17 MD 12 HP 48

[thecreaturecodex]

Dark Folk, Dark Vanguard

Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here

[The “dark folk” -> “caligni” is another retcon that Paizo made towards the tail end of PF1e in order to distance themselves from the OGL. I don’t dislike it, unlike the “arboreals”; it makes sense to me that they would have an endonym. Still, I’m using the dark folk category for the purposes of keeping this new one, from Bestiary 3, in line with the previous dark folk I’ve made.]

Dark Folk, Dark Vanguard CR 5 LE Humanoid (dark folk) This humanoid figure is clad in bands of dark metallic armor, some of which seem to be growing into its skin. It has no eyes, only hollow pits, but seems to sense you effortlessly. It carries a massive two-handed sword.

The dark folk consider variances in births to be omens of great importance, and the dark callers watch especially for those caligni born without eyes. These are taken from their parents at an early age and raised as dark vanguards; trained to use echolocation with their ears and delicate wires of metal implanted alongside armor plating. The dark vanguards are the elite warriors of the caligni, and serve their callers unquestioningly.

A dark vanguard is an obvious combatant by dark folk standards. They are capable of being stealthy, but prefer a forward assault, if only to let less physically strong combatants the opportunity to set up positions. They are trained in martial weapons and teamwork feats, and can temporarily grant their allies teamwork feats as well. They can weave a mantle of shadows around their blades in order to temporarily blind opponents, who are then easy meat for the sneak attacks of dark creepers or stalkers. When slain, they explode, the jagged metal in their bodies being repurposed from defense to offense for one last spiteful strike.

Dark Vanguard     CR 5 XP 1,600 LE Medium humanoid (dark folk) Init +3; Senses blindsight 60 ft., blind, Perception +13 Defense AC 19, touch 9, flat-footed 19 (-1 Dex, +2 natural, +8 armor) hp 52 (7d8+21) Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +6 DR 5/slashing or piercing; Immune gaze effects, visual spells and effects Weakness vulnerable to sonic Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee masterwork greatsword +11 (2d6+7/19-20) Ranged masterwork composite longbow +4 (1d8+5/x3) Special Attacks death throes, shadowed blade, tactician Statistics Str 20, Dex 9, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 18, Cha 13 Base Atk +5; CMB +10; CMD 19 Feats Broken Wing Gambit (B), Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Power Attack Skills Bluff +7, Climb +15, Perception +13, Stealth +10; Racial Modifiers +4 Climb, +4 Perception, +4 Stealth Languages grafted armor, martial training Ecology Environment underground Organization solitary, pair or troop (3-8) Treasure standard (masterwork greatsword, masterwork composite longbow [+5 pull], 40 arrows, other treasure) Special Abilities Blindsight (Ex) A dark vanguard’s blindsight is based on hearing and vibrations. If it is deafened, it is treated as if it had blindsense instead. Death Throes (Su) When a dark vanguard dies, it explodes. All creatures in a 10 foot radius take 6d6 points of damage, half of which is fire and half of which is piercing (Reflex DC 16 half). The vanguard’s grafted armor is destroyed in this explosion, but its other gear remains intact. The save DC is Constitution based. Grafted Armor (Ex) A dark vanguard gains a +8 armor bonus to its AC without an armor check penalty or reduced movement speed. Martial Training (Ex) A dark vanguard is proficient in all simple and martial weapons. Shadowed Blade (Su) As a standard action, a dark vanguard may channel shadows onto its blade and make a melee attack. A creature struck with this attack must succeed a DC 14 Fortitude save or be blinded for 1 round. The save DC is Charisma based. Tactician (Ex) A dark vanguard gains a teamwork feat as a bonus feat. As a standard action twice per day, it may grant a teamwork feat that it possesses to all allies within 30 feet that can sense them. The allies do not need to meet the prerequisites for the feat. This granted feat lasts for 6 rounds. A dark vanguard is treated as being a 5th level cavalier for the purposes of the tactician ability, and if it takes levels in cavalier, its cavalier level stacks with this ability.

[ordosmarkzero]

I started a Dark Souls replay a little while ago, have been wanting to for a while but was waiting for the pc servers to come back online because playing without messages just felt wrong.

Has been my first time playing since I beat it a few years ago, my first time on the Remastered version and my 2nd proper playthrough (I had a few failed attempts before I beat it the first time where I never got much further than around Darkroot Garden / Depths).

Here's some random thoughts I've had during my playthrough, might continue to update this as I go, also spoiler warning I guess?

This is my first time doing an INT/DEX build (Sorcery) properly, all 3 games + Bloodborne I did STR mainly. At first I felt very powerful compared to that and was surprised at how quickly you can blitz down bosses, but as it went on I started to feel the trade off of not having big armour and not being able to hit as hard with your weapon. I'm glad it's now feeling more like a different kind of challenge instead of just being easier. I'm also intrigued to try out faith now too.

I keep going back and forth and how I feel about the lack convenience compared to 2&3. When I got to just before O&S in Anor Londo I was starting to feel like my spells weren't hitting hard enough so I resolved that I had to go back and buy the ring that boosts sorcery. This meant I had to go back through Anor Londo, then descend Sen's Fortress all whilst not using a bonfire so I could easily Homeward Bone back. It wasn't that bad as you can run past the big guys in AL and I had unlocked the elevator in Sen's, but I got knocked off a ledge by a trap due to rushing + nerves and fell to the bottom, I only just survived and had to then use the ladder to get back up. This journey wasn't that much of a big deal but was definitely one of the more memorable parts of my playthrough, whereas in 2 & 3 it would have just been warping back to the hub then warping back to where I was and have lasted about a minute or two. I also enjoy that the merchants and blacksmiths are spread around the world, makes them and the world feel more alive. But sometimes I do find the "oh I need this item/upgrade so I have to travel all the way here" quite tiresome. I suppose it works better in DS1 because it's a lot easier and quicker to get from place to place.

I tried the Forest Hunter covenant for the first time and it's pretty fun! I never really did any PvP in the first game and most people are much better than me but I enjoyed doing it for a while.

The separation between magic & enchanted feels kind of pointless. Maybe I'm not using the right weapon or I've messed up my build somehow but I plugged my stats and weapon into mugenmonkey and even when I extrapolated my INT to around where it'll probably end up the difference was so minimal in what damage my weapon would end up doing between the two.

It's probably because I play the game quite late at night and the game is so old but it feels quite dead. I've barely seen any summon signs and never been summoned when I dropped one of my own. Have had a few invasions though. I think I'll try again during Return to Lordran and see whether that's any better (which I guess would also be a good time to test out a faith build).

I'd kind of blended together Siegmeyer & Siegward in my mind. Whilst I still like Siegmeyer and think he's quite funny, I love Siegward, he's so charming and all the encounters with him are fun. The first time you meet him and the game lets you know he's there because you hear the "hmmmm" as you pass him on the elevator is forever in my mind and one of my favourite introductions to a character.

On the other hand I found Solaire a bit boring on my first full playthrough but I'm liking him a lot more this time.

The Undead female merchant is also pretty fun, "you'd trust a piece of moss over me..."

[undertheflagrp]

KIM FINNIAN is a LEVEL ONE MERCENARY. he excels in HEALTH, STRENGTH and CHARM. he also works as a MERCENARY in PODAKKO.

       < HP: 21 >       < STR: 5 >       < MAG: 1 >       < DEX: 3 >       < SPD: 5 >                    <  LCK: 1 >       <  DEF: 4 >      < RES  4 >      < CHA: 6 >

   STATUS | NOTES |  INTRODUCTION LOADING...

[ QUEST: AFTER THE ASSASSINATION ]

it comes in the middle of the night. it's a member of his personal guard that does the honors of waking him and breaking the news.

at first he thinks it's a dream, sleep still heavy in his eyes even as he blinks them open. did someone say his name? "lord finnian," his guard says again. "your father has been assassinated."

it's a nightmare. surely it's a nightmare. he sits up in bed hurriedly, and simply blinks for a moment. "...he's dead?" he asks after a moment to confirm. his guard nods gravely. no, it's not a dream. surely, if he thought so, he would've succeeded in waking himself up by now.

so his father is dead. that means he is the new margrave lucinier. he doesn't have a moment to process before his guard adds, "the grand duke has declared war on gleerium."

"already?!" finn asks, in disbelief. that's his first question, instead of he's sure it was gleerium? because of course it was gleerium. finn has no doubt himself, either. etlia's relationship with gleerium thus far hasn't been the most cordial, so maybe this was inevitable.

he just never imagined the trigger would be his father's death, and certainly not in such a violent way, but when he thinks about it, he doesn't know why. it is, unfortunately, a move that makes sense. lucinier territory is on the border with gleerium; such a heavy blow would weaken their defenses, even if only for a moment, and give gleerium a window to attack, and to do damage.

"how long has it been?"

"two hours."

"the grand duke moves fast," finn mutters under his breath. he doesn't have a moment to think; a moment to let the fact that he is now in charge of lucinier territory settle, and he didn't have a moment to say goodbye.

what he wouldn't give for some final advice from his father; for a final smile, for final reassurance that this is a role he can fill well.

in the end, he nods, and even if he was able to defy the grand duke's orders, his own decision is an easy one, too. "let's go to war, then."

maybe, once he is certain gleerium will not invade and further tear his country apart, he will ask to see the body. maybe, he will at least have the chance to wish a ghost farewell, and safe travels to whatever realm does or doesn't exist beyond this life.

his father would say something like finn, my survival doesn't matter, only etlia's does. he will heed those words.

"is abelard well?" he questions. abelard, his father's strategist and and near-lifelong friend.

"yes my lord, sir abelard is unharmed."

finn lets out a short breath of relief he didn't realize he was holding. "i'll meet with him, then. we'll probably need to strengthen defense at the border, won't we?"

of course, his guard can't answer that question, and his father is no longer here to answer either. this is not a case of finn running hypothetical scenarios by his father to squeeze some knowledge out of him for the sake of his future time in power. in this case, it's rhetorical, even though finn wishes it wasn't. abelard is safe, however, and he is wise, so finn will confer with him, and he will not mourn.

at least not today. not yet.

"can you send a messenger to the grand duke for me?"

"yes, of course. what is it you want to say?"

"'i'll make sure gleerium burns.'"

                                                                 “REALLY? THAT’S ALL?”

[elfcow]

Dual-wielding in D&D is hands down the sexiest choice you can make. It is also objectively the worst one, mechanically speaking, and it's an endless source of frustration to me.

Dual-wielding in D&D 5e, mechanically, is an utter, utter joke. Optimal Dual-wielding setup, ideal feats and everything, vs the big 3 optimal Str two-handlers - Polearm, Greatsword, Great axe - the Dual-wielding does literally a THIRD as much damage as the polearm. And that's on a fighter of the same level with optimal stats and everything.

If you changed Dual-wielding to represent always attacking and hitting with both weapons simultaneously, dealing 2d8 per hit in this hypothetical setup, you STILL only reach HALF the dmg a polearm setup does. HALF!

Only if you copy-paste the Great Weapon Master Feat into a Dex equivalent does this hypothetical build get in the same neighborhood, maybe just slightly below, which is ok.

And while making an Elegant Weapon Master Feat isn't necessarily a bad idea, it feels lame to just copy-paste something because it's strong instead of thinking of something clever myself.

The other possible fix, of letting dual-wielders make double the normal amount of attacks, feels bad purely because at that point everyone else might as well get up from the table and get themselves some snacks while the fighter sits there and rolls dice for 30 minutes. Maybe ONE free attack per attack action a la Beast Barbarian precedent would make sense, but it still wouldn't catch up to the monster that is str builds.

What do you all think? Roll both weapon dice for every hit? An extra attack per attack action? Elegant Weapon Master Feat? All of the above?

And don't preach to me about roleplaying over mechanics, please. I choose roleplaying first every damn day. But when you've constructed your build exactly perfectly and you deal an avg. Of 60 dmg a turn compared your polearm buddies' 170, that just feels bad, plain and simple. Role-playing games are not rules agnostic, and they should be designed so that every path and aesthetic archetype feels at least playable, if not perfectly equal.

[raeynbowboi]

Building an Embodiment of the Fairytale Princess (2.0)

This is nothing new. I’ve done this build before, which I’ll link right [here]. The post did really well, and people seemed to love the concept. However, since then, Mythic Odysseys of Theros and Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything have both come out, bringing with them not only new subclasses, but new features, spells, mechanics, and elements that I couldn’t take into consideration the first time around. So, I decided that rather than just adding a tag on post like I did before, I’d just remake the build with the new features being taken into consideration. Like before, the focus of the build is to create an embodiment of the generic fairytale princess and not any one particular character. So without further ado, let’s get into it.

Like before, we’ll be choosing Variant Human for our race of choice. We’ll channel Sleeping Beauty to be gifted by the fey with blessings of Beauty, Grace, and Song for +1 CHA, +1 DEX, and Performance proficiency. We also get a bonus feat, and thanks to Tasha’s, we can now take Fey Blessed for +1 CHA. However, if she doesn’t cast with Charisma, then substitute those CHA bonuses with Wisdom instead.

The generic fairytale princess is a maid of purest heart, so we’re Lawful Good. But for your more rebellious princesses, Neutral Good or Chaotic Good are also valid.

Background is obviously Noble for proficiency with History and Persuasion.

CLASSES & SUBCLASSES

BARD

This one seems pretty obvious. Bards love to sing and dance, like your stereotypical princess. Because Charisma is their top stat, and they have expertise, it can make them great negotiators, and allow them to excel in dialogue interactions.

GLAMOUR

This college is very fitting for a fairytale princess, as it is focused on making oneself as beautiful and charming as the Fairest of Them All.

LORE 

Lore bards share information, whether they tell stories, recite plays, share philosophy, or spread juicy gossip, the Lore Bard gets more magical secrets, and added expertise to make your princess an even bigger Mary Sue. In actual medieval history, princesses often learned to play instruments and sing, recite prayers or poems, or tell stories to visiting guests, and it was considered a part of her education and duty to do so.

CLERIC

While not every princess is a devout religious girl, their stories tend to be set in the medieval period when a good princess would have been expected to be chaste and pious. So on that front, worshiping a good deity would be befitting of such a character.

LIFE

The fairytale princess raises up those they care about, and nothing is more supportive and helpful than keeping your friends on their feet. The Life Cleric turns your princess into a kind soul who weeps for her friends and patches them up after the battle, turning your princess into a useful ally against the wicked witches and dangerous dragons.

LIGHT

Not all Fairytale Princesses are passive or support players. Those who lean toward Light are the princesses who stand as the Big Good of their story and battle the forces of Darkness with the power of the Light. Of the three Cleric options that fit the archetype, this is the best option for being a powerhouse in combat.

PEACE

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate this domain for wearing the skin of the Love Domain we were supposed to get, and you can absolutely still play it that way. How this domain went from Love to Togetherness to Pacifism is beyond me, but it’s a fairly strong subclass. The classic princess archetype is supposed to be gentle and kind, fitting for one who worships a god of mercy and forgiveness. It’s a value often toted as the strongest characterization of the early Disney princesses.

DRUID

My first time building the fairytale princess, I ignored Druid as an option because the wildshaping didn’t really make sense for a fairytale princess, but a lot of the Bardic Magical Secrets were used to steal Druid spells. However, thanks to the optional rules from Tasha’s, Druids can now use their Wildshape to summon fey that take on the shapes of animals instead of turning into the animals themselves, which makes Druid far more viable, as summoning animals is very in-character for a fairytale princess.

DREAMS 

The Circle of Dreams has heavy Fey associations with references to the Summer Court ruled by Titania. It also is strongly focused on healing, and has a very Fairy Tale flavor to it. It’s an especially great option if you want to invoke Sleeping Beauty, as you can cloak your party while you sleep and send messages to people through your dreams.

SHEPHERD

The fairytale princess is strongly associated with animal buddies, and nothing makes better use of that than the Shepherd Druid, which focuses on amassing an army of critters. What’s more, the Unicorn Totem is very fitting, not only because Unicorns only approach maidens with pure hearts, but Shepherds of the Unicorn Totem get empowered healing.

SORCERER

The sorcerer is born with a spark of something special in them, and a lot of fantasy royalty have magical powers that other people in their world lack.

DIVINE SOUL

The princess doesn’t literally have to be the descendant of the gods, as the original name for the subclass was more about being favored by the gods. Still, if you want to lean into the idea of the princess as the Big Good against the Big Bad, then having her be born with the spark of the gods inside her makes for a neat characterization.

WILD MAGIC 

With the new Sorcerer Shards as I’ve come to call them, we were introduced to the Feywild Shard, which was heavily geared toward Wild Magic Sorcerers, which seems to be WoTC’s way of saying that Wild Magic Sorcerers are the fey-linked sorcerous origin, so I’m including it because of our fey connection. 

WARLOCK

This is the only class where there’s exactly one good option, but it’s one that works surprisingly well.

ARCHFEY 

As a Warlock with a Pact of the Chain, your fairytale princess can choose to Find Familiar any cute little animal companion, or a Sprite to be your Fairy Godmother. Or rather, you can sign a pact with your Fairy Godmother, and use your Chain Pact to summon one of her emissaries to help you. The Archfey patron themselves can act as your Fairygodther, granting you and your party boons and aid where they need it.

WARLOCK INVOCATIONS

Agonizing Blast Armor of Shadows Beast Speech Eldritch Mind Eldritch Sight Gift of the Ever-Living Ones Shroud of Shadow Voice of the Chain Master

CHARISMA vs WISDOM

The big split in how you build your princess falls down the line between these two camps. The wise princess works better as a Druid/Cleric, while a charming princess is more of a Bardlock. For me personally, as much as the Cleruid fits the fairytale princess, the stereotype of the princess is usually that she is gullible, naïve, and overly trusting. Insight is a wisdom check, and something the classic princess archetype is usually bad at. Granted, Animal Handling is also Wisdom, but the Bard’s expertise can overrule a low Wisdom score. Think of it like a clash between Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda vs Princess Peach from Mario. Princess Zelda is wise and is much more focused on leadership and protecting her kingdom. Peach is more about the pretty dresses and having servants help her. They’re two very different camps on the princess archetype. Ultimately, which one you choose will depend on the type of princess you wish to invoke. The Classic Damsel or the Wise Matriarch.

SIDEKICKS

A new feature added in Tasha’s, sidekicks are secondary characters that can help the party and are basically simplified character builds with fewer bells and whistles. There are three main camps:

Expert. Experts are clever and knowledgeable, be they minstrels, librarians, pickpockets, merchants, or assassins. They can pick proficiency with DEX, INT, or CHA saving throws, and can be proficient or an expert with any five skills of your choice, and humanoids also gain proficiency with light armor, simple weapons, and two tools of your choice.

Spellcaster. Trained in the secrets of the Arcane, be they a priest, a fortuneteller, or a magical creature. They can choose proficiency with INT, WIS, or CHA checks, and can be proficient in Arcana, History, Insight, Investigation, Medicine, Performance, Persuasion, or Religion. They choose a roll to determine their spell list: Mage (Wizard), Healer (Cleric, Druid) or Prodigy (Bard, Warlock). The sidekick has access to the spell list of the classes their role aligns with, as well as casting with that stat.

Warrior. trained fighters, be they a soldier, a city guard, a trained animal, or a hired sword. They can pick proficiency with STR, DEX, or CON saving throws, and their skill options are Acrobatics, Animal Handling, Athletics, Intimidation, Nature, Perception, and Survival. Warriors can pick a fighting style: either Offensive to add +2 to attack and damage rolls, or Defender to impose disadvantage on hitting creatures other than them while within 5 feet of the princess.

Generic Princess Sidekicks

Humanoid Guard Warrior (bodyguard) Humanoid Commoner Expert (handmaiden, governess, etc.) Humanoid Magewright Spellcaster (court mage, or advisor) Any Beast-type Warrior (animal companion)

Fairytale Inspired Sidekicks

Seven Dwarves - Dwarf Warrior Fairy Godmother - Sprite or Pixie Spellcaster Prince Charming - Humanoid Noble Warrior Wicked Witch - Barovian Witch Spellcaster Beast - Gnoll, Jackalwere, Orc, or Troglodyte Warrior Puss in Boots - Awakened Cat or Tabaxi Warrior The Frog Prince - Awakened Frog or Grung Warrior Three Little Pigs - Awakened Pig Expert, Spellcaster, & Warrior Big Bad Wolf - Wolf Warrior or Awakened Wolf Expert Robin Hood - Redbrand Ruffian or Bandit Expert Djinn of the Lamp - Dust, Ice, or Magma Mephit Spellcaster Pinocchio - Giant Stone Statue Warrior White Rabbit - Awakened Rabbit Expert Cheshire Cat - Awakened Cat Expert or Spellcaster

There is no actual limit to the number of sidekicks your character can have, so in theory, your fairytale princess could have an entire posse of talking animals hanging out and helping her.

Skills, Spells, and Features

As a Variant Human, we got Performance proficiency alongside our Fey Touched feat, and as a Noble, we have proficiency with Persuasion and History. For everything else, we’re just looking to be a standard Fairytale Princess. So we should look to be proficient with: Animal Handling, Arcana, Religion, Nature, or Medicine.

BASIC FAIRIES

Dancing Lights Faerie Fire Healing Spirits Spirit Guardians Summon Fey Conjure Woodland Beings Conjure Fey

BASIC PRINCESS THINGS

Animal Friendship Command Heroism Speak With Animals Animal Messenger Calm Emotions Find Steed Warding Bond Zone of Truth Conjure Animals Mord’s Magnificent Mansion

SNOW WHITE

Armor of Agathys Mirror Image Beacon of Hope Aura of Purity Heroes’ Feast

CINDERELLA

Fabricate Creation True Polymorph Wish

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Sleep Phantasmal Killer Dream Wall of Thorns Dream of the Blue Veil

THE LITTLE MERMAID

Charm Person Shatter Suggestion Tidal Wave Compulsion Control Water Dominate Person Maelstrom Control Weather Tsunami Storm of Vengeance

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Charm Monster Unseen Servant Tiny Servant Animate Objects Awaken Hold Monster Summon Fiend

Last time I built the fairytale princess, I gave her exactly 1 build. 18 levels of glamour bard and 2 levels of Archfey Warlock. But recently I’ve begun to instead put more stock in leaving builds open, showing instead the options that a player has to choose from. So, for this update, I’m not pushing for a specific build. I’ve laid out the appropriate spells, and the types of princesses that a player can strive to emulate with their spell lists. Consider this more of a guide to help you decide how you want to play your fairytale princess.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #171

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the Berserker of El Dorado, a.k.a. the CEO of Amazones, a.k.a. yet another reason why Type Moon should stop designing teenage characters. Like several other servants from Agartha her true name is hidden when you meet her, so expect spoilers below the break.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The reason they call him that is because you have to resist punching him in the face.

Penthesilea, queen of the Amazons, is a Zealot Barbarian for a whole lot of anger issues and godly boons.

Race and Background

Penth’s the daughter of a god and also fuckign terrifying, so that’s why she’s a Fallen Aasimar. When she fell she got +1 Strength and +2 Charisma, as well as Darkvision which explains the black sclera, Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, Healing Hands to keep her golden body in top condition, and the Light Bearer cantrip. Your weapons are glowy, this’ll take care of that for now.

You’re queen, but a queen of the amazons, so modify that Noble background to get History and Intimidation proficiency.

Ability Scores

If you want to be the daughter of a war god you’d better be able to war good, so make sure your Strength is as high as possible. Your Dexterity also better be good, I know jumping is strength-based, but running around in half a suit of armor is dex based. It definitely doesn’t look like armor, but it’s spiked, and a +2 to dexterity will let you use medium armor efficiently. After that is Charisma, you’re a shrewd businesswoman and also fucking terrifying for anyone vaguely greek. Your Wisdom’s also pretty solid, you’re good at sniffing out Achilles, and you’ve got an even keener business sense. Constitution isn’t that solid, you’re kind of a glass cannon, but you’re still pretty solid. Finally, dump Intelligence. Half the time you’re a raging ball of teeth and spikes, the other half you’re a CEO. Neither of those make me want to put much faith in your smarts.

Class Levels

1. First level barbarians start of strong (pun intended) with Rage, beefing up as a bonus action for advantage on strength checks & saves, damage resistance, and a bonus to attack damage. You also get Unarmored Defense, making running around in that outfit a slightly less bad idea. Or it would, if your constitution modifier wasn’t +0.

You also get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two barbarian skills. Athletics because you’re literally an amazon, and Perception to help you find that damnable greek hero.

2. At second level, your Reckless Attacks will help you pierce through that jerk’s magic skin, giving you advantage on all attacks for the round, at the cost of taking attacks at advantage. To be fair, your AC’s probably like 12 right now, so it’s not like it makes him more likely to hit you.

You also get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves you can see coming, like a fireball. Or a giant careening chariot. Either or.

3. Your brand new Primal Knowledge gives you proficiency with Survival. It’s a dog eat dog world, and now you know how to cook that dog. You also get a Necrotic Shroud as a bonus action, adding necrotic damage to your attacks once per turn for a minute and when you transform you scare the crap out of people nearby if they fail a charisma save. You can transform once per long rest.

On top of your divine blood activating this level, your divine blood activates this level, making you a Zealot barbarian. Your Divine Fury adds even more damage to your attacks once per turn while raging. Pick either necrotic or radiant damage, I’m not your mother, it’s your choice. You also become a Warrior of the Gods, so now reviving you doesn’t cost money. You don’t have a guts skill, so this’ll come in handy.

4. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Dual Wielder, letting you attack with both sides of that giant mace thing using your bonus action. It also gives you +1 AC while dual wielding, that’s nice. Some barbarians have to die to attack with a bonus action, and you got it as a feat.

5. If you want to attack even more, Extra Attack lets you attack twice with your action, so now you can attack three times per turn. Your Fast Movement also adds 10 feet to your movement speed to catch up to that carrot.

6. Your Fanatical Focus lets you re-roll a failed save once per rage. Your golden rule means it’s hard to mess with your body, and this will help with that.

7. Seventh level barbarians get a Feral Instinct, giving you advantage on initiative checks. You can also ignore being surprised if you rage immediately on the first turn of combat. You also get an Instinctive Pounce, moving half your speed when you start a rage. Your rival is basically a manic the hedgehog humansona, so you’ve got to be able to keep up.

8. Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more damaging and accurate attacks.

9. Ninth level barbs get Brutal Criticals, giving you an extra die of damage when you deal critical hits. Shockingly, giant metal balls hurt when slammed into people. Wild.

10. Tenth level zealots have a Zealous Presence, spending a bonus action once per long rest to inspire nearby creatures to get advantage on attack rolls and saves until your next turn.

11: Eleventh level barbarians get a Relentless Rage to avoid death while raging. If you pass a DC 10 constitution save, you drop to 1 hp instead of 0 and the DC goes up by 5. When you finish a short rest, it goes back to 0. I guess you do have a guts skill after all.

12. Use this ASI to grab the Mobile feat for even more movement speed and the ability to ignore difficult terrain and opportunity attacks. Achilles is really going to have to step his game up here.

13. Another level, another Brutal Critical, making your critical hits even more brutal. Don’t really have a joke for this one, it’s pretty self-explanatory.

14. Fourteenth level zealots can Rage Beyond Death, meaning you can’t die until you stop raging. Damage that takes you to 0 hp still starts the death save train a-rolling, but you don’t die until your rage ends, and even then only if you’re still at 0 hp. It’s a good thing you don’t have the ability to heal yourself right before your rage ends, or that would be busted. Wait...

15. Fifteenth level berserkers get a Persistent Rage, so now your rage only ends if you want it to, or if time runs out, making you immortal for a full minute of combat. Or until someone casts Sleep, a first level spell.

16. For this ASI we’re getting a little experimental with Flail Mastery, a feat from an old Unearthed Arcana. Technically it only applies to flails, but if you can convince your DM to use UA this old you can probably convince him to extend the definition to morningstars too. Anyway, you get +1 to attack rolls, can use your bonus action to negate a shield’s defenses on your attacks for the turn, and your opportunity attacks force a strength save, on a failure the creature gets knocked prone, which eats up half their movement. Not a big deal for a halfling, very big deal for Achilles.

17. Did somebody say Brutal Critical? I did, just now. Speaking of, you get another one of those, meaning your critical hits now deal double the amount of dice plus three extra.

18. Your Indomitable Might means all your strength checks are now at least your strength score, which is pretty freaking good. It’d be even better if we could bump that up higher though...

19. Your last ASI is going towards your str- no, sorry, it’s another feat, now you’re Menacing. This rounds out your Charisma, doubles your proficiency in Intimidation, and you can replace one attack from your action with a contested Intimidation v Insight check against a humanoid. If you succeed, the target is frightened for a turn. Really we’ve just been giving you better versions of the Berserker class features. Shame we couldn’t get that strength up one last time though.

20. Just kidding! Primal Champions get +4 to their strength and Constitution, and your maximum for both scores increases by the same amount so you don’t have to worry about capping out. You also get unlimited rages, so just pop a new one whenever the old one’s about to run out.

Pros:

Your race, plus all those feats you took, give you a lot of options in the middle of combat, even while raging. You can heal yourself, scare people, attack... okay, it’s three things, but that’s two things more than most berserkers.

By the end of the build, you have unlimited rages, and you can’t die while raging. Tack on your healing hands at the end of a battle, and you’re effectively immortal to anyone not packing Sleep. It’s a first level spell, so a lot of people will be packing it, but by the time this combo comes together most people will be using 9th level spells, so they’ll probably overlook it.

You’re also pretty speedy, even compared to other barbarians. 50′ of movement speed and the ability to ignore difficult terrain will make it hard for your to get space between you and it. Even moreso when your opportunity attacks knock it flat on its ass.

Cons:

Before you become an immortal rage machine, you’re pretty squishy thanks to your low constitution score. I mean, squishy compared to other barbarians. You’re still rocking almost 200 HP and rage protection, but it means you’re not quite as tanky as Herc. Until you hit level 20.

We picked up a lot of Feats in this build, so that’s a good part of the reason why your ability scores are so low compared to other builds. Your fighting style only cares about strength and charisma, but if you get in a business meeting you can’t scare your way out of you’re going to have a rough time.

You have absolutely no way of dealing magical damage. You might be able to eke out some chip damage with Divine Fury and Necrotic Shroud, but if you go up against something with resistance or immunity to nonmagical weapons you’re going to have a bad time. It’s lucky you’re not super pissed at someone who literally has that as their defining feature, huh?

[tigerkirby215]

5e Constitution Caster build (Theory Build)

(Ursine Spiritwalker artwork by SixMoreVodka Studios. Made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of “I’m making a build to delay the creation of my Irelia build.” Yes I have an Irelia build coming out and yes I do still hate Irelia as a champion. The idea for this build mostly came about after I watched Dungeon Dudes’ review the Tasha’s Fighters which reminded me that Rune Knight has not-quite casting based on Constitution. It gave me an idea: “hey what if you made a character who was primarily based on Constitution?” So here’s my very loose idea to make a character with Constitution as their primary stat.

ABILITY SCORES

Constitution should be your highest obviously lol, and you need at least 13 in Strength for multiclassing. Choosing to max DEX or STR second will be a tough choice: STR gives you more damage overall but DEX gives you more AC. I think it ultimately depends on the party you have as well as the theme you want for your character.

THE BUILD: STORM HERALD BARBARIAN / RUNE KNIGHT FIGHTER

You want at least three levels in Storm Herald for the Sea Aura which lets you blast people with Lightning as a Bonus Action! This Lightning does a d6 of damage, but the damage doesn’t increase until you hit level 10 in Barbarian. The only thing you really get out of Barbarian other than more uses of Rage is Fast Movement and resistance to Lightning damage for you and your nearby allies, so I’d honestly suggest investing more into Rune Knight instead.

Now for Rune Knight: which Runes do you want?

CLOUD - As a one-time reaction this is very good to divert damage in a hectic fight, but it’s only one-time use and it’ll take from your other abilities like Runic Shield. Either grab this super early or super late. 3/10

FIRE - Very strong; essentially Hold Person that does continuous damage. Does require you to hit the enemy however. Can be weak if your main combat stat is bad. 7/10

FROST - More utility than anything. You won’t really need the +2 on CON checks / saves, but a boost to Strength checks / saves is nice. Good if no one in the party has Strength and you need to be the guy who lifts everything. 5/10

STONE - Fire rune but a reaction, so it doesn’t require you to hit the enemy. Unlike Hypnotic Pattern (which this Rune seems to be based on) your allies can wail on the enemy all they want! The only real downside is the range as well as the fact that it’s a Wisdom save. 8/10

HILL (lvl 7 requirement) - You’re a Barbarian you have Rage. Can be good if you want to hold onto Rage, but this should probably be the one Rune you skip entirely. 1/10

STORM (lvl 7 requirement) - The best one hands down. Grab this at level 7 and use it whenever possible. 10/10

My personal build for Runes would be as follows:

LEVEL 3: Fire, Cloud

LEVEL 7: Fire, Storm, Stone

LEVEL 10: Fire, Storm, Stone, Cloud

LEVEL 15: Fire, Storm, Stone, Cloud, Frost

Maybe pickup Frost if I’m building for Strength. Oh and speaking of building for Strength or Dexterity: what type of weapon should you use? Most of the runes (Cloud, Stone, Storm) have a limited range and your Storm Aura is very limited (10 feet) so this build does encourage a melee build, but you could also use a Bow along with the Fire rune and the Storm rune to play more of a backline character. I think a Thrown weapon build (Soul Knife?) could actually be very interesting for this kind of character, as you’d occupy a sort of “medium range” while also being able to give your character a unique theme. Grabbing the Thrown Weapon Fighting Style would also increase your damage output nicely.

OTHER SUBCLASSES

Path of Wild Magic is kind of the most obvious choice for a “caster” but it’s somewhat unreliable (as Wild Magic is) and takes up your reaction which should probably be used on Rune Knight runes. There is perhaps a compelling argument to be made that Wild Magic scales better but it does sort of rely on you using Unstable Backlash often, unless you get lucky an highroll effects 3 or 8. Wild Magic does make a more compelling argument for a thrower build though if you can roll option 4, which can allow you to dual-wield a Battle Axe along with a Hand Axe that you’d normally be throwing.

Path of the Beast gets an ability that requires a CON save at level 10, and an ability based on CON at level 14. While they’re strong their use is unfortunately limited, and it does require you to actually hit your attacks. A 3-level dip into Rune Knight is a compelling argument for Path of the Beast however, as becoming a giant werewolf is pretty pog.

Path of the Battlerager is trash, but you can use Reckless Abandon while Raging to constantly boost up your AC. If you grapple your enemies (which you can do quite easily as a Large creature!) and use the Fire and Stone runes you can easily lock down several foes with your hulkin’ bulk, which does make for an interesting playstyle! It’s also a very compelling character to play a completely insane Dwarf that thinks they’re a giant or something. The only obvious downside of Path of the Battlerager is that you’re literally forced to wear the Spiked Armor which will massively gut your AC, but if your DM lets you use Unarmored Defense while wearing Spiked Armor this multiclass actually becomes semi-viable.

Echo Knight and Cavalier Fighter both have abilities that scale off CON I guess, but they still expect you to have a good primary attack modifier.

PROS

This would be a really fun build for Tier 1 - Tier 2 play, where you could enjoy the benefits of a big health bar while also still being able to do damage. If you can get a lot of Short Rests to refresh your Runes (and Second Wind and Action Surge I guess) you actually become a potent lockdown pseudo-support character.

CONS

This scales like fucking ass because most of your legally-not-spellcasting scales like ass lol. Your Rune Knight runes are limited as are your Rages, and regardless of what Barbarian you choose you’re going to be doing fairly little damage with your Bonus Action abilities.

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In short: This build is dumb lol, but it’s just a theoretical thing I’m throwing out if you want to try something unique in your next one shot. This is probably less powerful than my other “random builds” but I think it’s fun and interesting which is why I wanted to share it.

[c-is-for-circinate]

The Three Dragons, or, Repentence, Revelry, and the Hero Resolve (a tale of Onde)

So when I offered to go telling stories from my D&D game the other, I got several votes for the elves, and I wrote that one out, but several people were also very interested in the dragons, and, well.  The Hero Resolve is one of my very favorite not-technically-a-god-but-honestly-might-as-well-be NPCs in this game, and making up folklore for a world that doesn’t exist is pretty damn awesome, so--

Once upon a time, there were three evil dragons.

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Things tend to come in threes in stories.  On Nokomoris, where the entire eastern side of the continent has been settled for tens of thousands of years by dwarves, gnomes, and humans, tales of people-in-threes are everywhere.  This tale in particular, which has been told and retold so many times in a million forms that it’s barely recognizable, is sometimes told about a dwarf, a gnome, and a human villain, a trio of bandits or thieves or murderers or the like.  It’s also sometimes told about three trolls, or three vampires, or three unwary foxes, or anything at all that might bring harm to a small village in the middle of nowhere.

The way the story is most truthfully told, the way that matches up, more than it doesn’t, with the world that actually happened--begins with three dragons.  They were all of them adults but far from old yet, and they lived together in the mountains somewhere, in one lair shared between the three of them.

The largest and strongest and proudest of them all was the black dragon.  His very favorite thing was to come roaring in to a village or farm and strike terror into every heart, to ravage and ruin it and leave half of it to spoiling without even taking it for himself, and send the survivors terrified away to tell tales of his power and glory.  He was, he knew in his heart, the very very best; and he was full of violence and wrath, but his greatest sin was pride.

The fastest and cleverest and most joyfully cruel of them all was the green dragon.  Her very favorite thing to do was to catch just a scant clawful of little squishy two-legged people, and promise their survival if they’d play her game and could win it.  She never played fair but sometimes she let them go, if they’d entertained her just exactly the right amount to tickle her happy.  The world was, she knew in her heart, the most wonderful toy to be played; she knew vengeance and anger, but her greatest sin was cruelty.

The third dragon, the blue dragon, was the youngest and smallest of the three.  They were not as strong or as fast as their friends, though they were sturdy (and any dragon is strong and fast enough.)  They were not as clever or as vain, but they were wise (and every dragon is smart and beautiful enough.)  They were, in fact, very much the most practical dragon of the trio, and very much the most beloved.

(But C, you say, that’s not how dragon stats compare in 5e at all.  It’s blue dragons with the high str and cha, black dragons with the high dex.  The adult blue dragon CR is higher than the others!)

(But y’all, I say--this is a fairytale.  And also not all chromatic dragons exactly match their written stat blocks.)

(Yes.  I said “not all chromatic dragons”.  Back to the story.)

The third dragon was the practical one, as I said, and was very much the one who made it possible for three adult dragons to live and hunt and pillage the countryside together instead of fighting each other to miserable pieces.  The blue dragon had seen very easily how the three dragons might fight, and might destroy one another in the process, or might go their separate ways and each take his or her or their own small patch of territory, to defend from heroes and larger dragons alike--or they could band together and rule and ravage the skies. 

The blue dragon made sure that when they chose which village to attack, it would be large and mighty enough to satisfy the black dragon’s vanity, and that they didn’t accidentally step on anybody interesting enough to satisfy the green dragon’s need for a challenge.  They made sure that any survivors left to spread their tales could not raise an army against them, or find the secret trails up the mountainside to the dragons’ shared lair.  They ate nearly every two-legged victim the green dragon might have let go.  Their greatest sin was callousness, for they cared about no one at all besides their two dragon companions, and them only barely at that.

And so the three dragons fought, and flew, and thought themselves invincible for many years.

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Now, there’s another figure that’s a cornerstone of folk tales throughout Nokomoris, and that, my friends, is the Pretty Witch.  Oh, she’s a princess sometimes, buckled under by the weight of trying to protect her kingdom, but on the whole, princess stories never really took off around here.  The great romantic heroine of the ages is the village witch.

Usually she’s a druid or a sorceress, to go by d&d terms.  Sometimes, in the stories, she summons a fae or a demon or a celestial or an elemental from another plane to help her against some great threat, and they fall in love; other times she captures an enemy and keeps them in her hut, and they fall in love as she nurses them to health and also interrogates them for their evil plan; in yet other stories, a brave hero faces all the witch’s challenges and proves they can protect her.  Some of the best stories, of course, combine all three.

Most real village witches never reach such a fairytale happily-ever-after, of course, or even get past casting second- and third-level spells.  The vast majority of village witches are either old enough to be someone’s (or everyone’s) mother or too busy to be interested in most offers of romance, and plenty of them are both.  That part’s true enough of the witch in this story, too.

Her power, on the other hand...

Well.  There are always exceptions.

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The story says that one day as all three dragons swooped together onto a village on the edge of their territory, they watched a small woman step from a hut on the side of the village and raise a staff.  The story says that, mid-swoop, they began to feel themselves shrink--that the black dragon found his scales running together and turning soft and brown-pink-pale, and the green dragon found her claws growing short and weak and flat on her arms, and the blue dragon found their wings disappearing from their back even as they tried to pull up and fly away.

The story says that by the time the three dragons hit the ground, they were dragons no longer.  Every story argues, a bit, about what they were and which one was which, but--in every good bit of folklore about three people out in the world, there’s a dwarf, a gnome, and a human, so that must be what these three were here, right?

(It wasn’t, in reality--but it doesn’t really matter.   They were all people, soft and squishy two-leggers, and what does it change if all three were halflings or tieflings or even dragonborn, any more?)

They hit the ground on two legs each, naked and brown and pink and suddenly, for perhaps the first time in their long dragon lives, scared.  And all at once, they began to run.

(But C, you say--what about legendary resistances?  And anyway Polymorph is a concentration spell, one witch can’t cast it on three dragons at the same time anyway.  Hell, if they were swooping down on the village, fall damage alone should have knocked at least one of them out of it when they hit the--)

(Shhh, shh, I say.  It’s a story.  This isn’t how it really happened.  Of course it isn’t.  It really took days, or a team of adventurers, and probably both, and there were traps and wands and artifacts of all kinds that went into the doing.  This is only the version people tell each other--and it’s a better, shorter one, and lets us get to the rest of the story much quicker, usually.)

(But really, you say, even still, it’s just Polymorph--one good injury and they’d be right back to being themselves.  Surely three adult dragons would know enough about magic to realize that.  Surely one of them would be smart enough to try and injure themselves or one of the others to break it, right?  Maybe the blue one.)

(You have to let me get back to my story, for that.)

So--yes, yes, you’re right.  They all three of them hit the ground and fell immediately unconscious, how’s that?  Or perhaps only one of them did, but that was very much enough.  However it happened (and it must have been more than a thousand years ago, it must have been before Kera the Conqueror swept through the lands, must have been a thousand or two thousand years before your mother was born), however they fell, whatever they saw--the three ex-dragons did not become themselves again.  The spell did not break.

(Not even True Polymorph can do that, you say--

Yes, I say.  I know.)

(And why do we keep interrupting the story like this, anyway?)

(Well.  Because it’s a fairytale.  It’s the lore of legends.  This is a story to tell at bedtimes and campfires and long afternoons spent working with your hands while the children at your feet learn to spin yarn and shell beans and mend things.  This is the sort of story that’s meant to be told with interruptions.)

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The man who had once been the black dragon woke up, and discovered that he was still a man, and he fled.

He had no direction in mind; his head was clouded, and his eyes were weak, and his feet were soft and clawless and he had no wings at all, and he had never run across ground like this before in all the many years of his life.  He had no thought save escape, and he ran without stopping except to fall to his knees and drink from a nearby stream like a dog before he forced himself up to run again.

He collapsed, eventually, outside a woodcutter’s hut.  He could not even bestir himself when the woodcutter and his wife brought him inside to nurse him back to health.

It took a full week before he could do more than stand and hobble, and in that time the woodcutter’s family nursed him with nothing but kindness, and man who had once been a black dragon found himself struck to the heart by it.  He had done so many things in his time as a dragon that he had been proud of, but now it seemed that he was a person, weak and desperate, and would be for the rest of his life.  It was unthinkable that a mere woodcutter like this should nurse a great black dragon back to health.

It was unthinkable for a person to have done the things the man had done, when he was a dragon.  How could a man live in this world of men, having done such things?  How could he be proud of who he was?  And so, faced with the kindness of the woodcutter’s family, the man who’d once been the black dragon began to feel the most tremendous guilt that has ever been felt in all the world for the things he’d done.

(Oh? Do you doubt him?  But man, or dragon, or dwarf, or tabaxi, whatever he was--he’d always been the best.  If he couldn’t be the very best killer, he could at least be the best at guilt.)

He would atone, he decided.  He would atone for the rest of his life.

When the man who’d once been a dragon could stand and walk without pain, dressed in the woodcutter’s old clothes and boots, the woodcutter finally asked what his name was.

“Repentance,” the man said, and went on his way to seek it, and that was the last anybody ever saw of the great black dragon.

.

(Oh, you think there’s more?  Of course there is.  A man appeared in the city to the south, and set himself to punishing every evil, including himself, however he could, and there are enough stories about him to last hours.  None of them are happy, of course--even when he found love, he could not allow it to bring him joy, because of course he deserved none.  And so the man Repentance found himself bringing sorrow even now to those who came to care about him most, caught in an endless loop of sin, and so he could never forgive himself or be redeemed, no matter what.  But at least he wasn’t a dragon.

Is that better?)

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The woman who had once been the green dragon was even now a little cleverer than her first friend, and when she stood and realized that she was still a woman and not a dragon at all, she fled with a goal in mind.

It took days of careful, desperate travel, but she knew all the secret paths back to their lair in the mountains, where the three dragons had kept all the wealth and weapons they’d claimed as treasure over the years.  The woman draped herself in finery that seemed coarser and fouler-smelling now than it had when she was enormous and beautiful without it.  She put on the armor she’d plucked from the backs of knights, and then took it off again when it was too heavy, and eventually she had dressed and armed herself and filled a pack with as many riches as her new weak arms could carry, and set off again before anyone else could arrive to find her.

She found a port, and made her way onto a ship, bound over the sea to a land that had never known her as anything but this.  She sailed for days, and planned out her future.

She had lost her claws and so much of her power, but the world was still built of games, was it not?  And she could still play, with money and cleverness and secrets.  She was beautiful, apparently, by the standards of people, even if she was so much less awesome and terrible than she’d once been.  She could make claws out of daggers and a life out of this.  She could be a lady, a thief, a queen.  She could make do.

(You think she should be despairing, vengeful, angry?  Woman or dragon, gnome or goliath, no matter what--she was always ready to carve joy out of any chest she could find.  Why not find it again?)

When she disembarked in the new land, the guard at the port asked for her name.  “Revelry,” she said, and went off to seek it, and that was the last anybody ever saw of the great green dragon.

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(Oh, it’s a parable now, is it?  Well.  What good folk story isn’t?

You want the rest?  She became a bandit queen and a baroness, and was feared and adored by many, and gathered riches and servants and lovers and secrets.  You could tell stories for days about the wicked and cruel exploits of the Baroness Revelry, and some of them would be sexy, and some of them would be fun, and some of them would leave you feeling queasy in the pit of your stomach afterwards, and in some of them, you’d be on her side.  After all, at least she wasn’t a dragon.

Is that enough?)

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When the person who had once been the blue dragon awoke, they saw the witch of the village.  They saw the look in her eyes.  They saw the deep forest, and their own new delicate feet and hands and bones, and the torches from the other villagers approaching.

They stayed put.

The witch stayed, too, and watched them, and when the townspeople arrived she sent them away.  The witch was a very long way from young, and not as beautiful as she should have been, for this to be a really good story, but--for all that, there was something of power in her eyes.

“What will you do now?” the witch asked of the person who had once been a blue dragon, who had not taken their own eyes from the witch’s face and her gnarled broomstick.

“I don’t know,” said the person who was not a dragon any longer, who did not see any benefit to lying.  “What would you have me do?”

They were both quiet for a long moment as the witch looked the ex-dragon over, with her thoughts as impenetrable as a witch’s mind ever are.  Then she said, “Come inside.  I have floors that need sweeping and wood that will need chopping for the winter.”

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The person who’d been a blue dragon slept on a pile of blankets on the witch’s floor.  The witch gave them chores to do in return.  They fetched water from the well, and scrubbed and cleaned, and learned to cook and tend a garden.  It was not a thing like being a dragon, except for all the wrong reasons.  The witch was small, and kind, and old, and not a bit of her was weak.  The no-longer-dragon had never known anyone as relentlessly practical as themself before.

Nearly every day people from the village would come by.  Some would come begging for help with colds and children and cows, and the witch was always kind to them, while her new lodger watched from the corner with sharp dragon-gold eyes.  Others would come with gifts, a few eggs here or a sack of flour there.  Sometimes the villagers with gifts had asked for help in the days before, and sometimes they hadn’t.

The person who was no longer a dragon asked questions, sometimes, and the witch would answer them, sometimes.

“Why do they bring you tribute?  Do you require it of them?”

“No,” said the witch, and, “they do it because it is kind, and right, and makes their world better in the long run.  Now go tend to the garden.”

Or, “Why do you not take over this village and half the countryside?  You have the power for it.”

“Because I do not wish it,” said the witch, and, “because they do not need me to, and because they and I are all happier that I do not.  Now go and tend the garden.”

Or, “Why are you kind to the ones who do not bring you gifts or tribute?  They do nothing for you, but you are generous to them.”

“Because,” said the witch, “it is kind, and I am able, and they are not, and that is what it means to be a person.  Now go and tend to the garden.”

Every time she answered a question, the witch would send them out to tend the garden.  The ex-dragon was careful with every plant, because it was only foolish to be careless with a witch’s garden, and learned to water every one exactly as much as it needed.  They learned to harvest berries and vegetables and herbs, and tend to the flowers and shrubs that produced nothing of any value, but only grew.  And they began, little by little, to understand.

.

Eventually it was winter.  The witch showed the one-time blue dragon how to drag their blankets closer to the fire, and how to chop the firewood and bank it at night to keep it going so they would both stay warm, and all the other things that needed to be done with the world frozen in white.

There was no more work to do in the garden, but by then the no-longer-dragon’s questions had changed, too.

“Why did you turn me into this?”  The witch could have picked anything, after all--a rabbit or an insect or a stone, and never thought about it ever again.  But she had chosen a person, who could walk and talk and think and work.

“Because it would save this village,” the witch said.  “I had not a care for you at all.  Now come and learn this potion.”

Or, weeks later, “Why did the villagers forgive me?”  They still came every day, and nodded to the ex-dragon when they passed, and didn’t flinch to do it.  They were not witches.  They didn’t have her power.

“Because they don’t know who you are,” the witch said.  “Or because they know and don’t care, or because you have done them no harm since coming here, or because they are too dead to hold a grudge, or perhaps they haven’t forgiven you at all and are only pretending.  Now go and bring this amulet to the miller and his wife.”

Or, after even more weeks, when it was nearly spring--”Why did you let me stay?”

“You know the answer to that already,” said the witch.  The person who had once ravaged the entire countryside as a great evil blue dragon found that they did know, after all.  It was the same reason as the bushes with no berries and the amulet for the miller, and everything else, too.

“Is there a difference between a dragon and a person?” the dragon-who-wasn’t asked.  “Between a tiefling and an aasimar and a human?  Between anything at all?”

“You know the answer to that, too,” said the witch, and of course, of course they did, by now.  “Ask what you really want to know.”

“Do you care now?” the person asked.  “Do you care about me, even though you didn’t then?”

The witch’s hard face softened, then.  “Do you?” she asked in return.  “Have you learned to care, after all that?”

The person thought about needy bushes and hungry inchworms and a thousand trips to the well on foot, about tea with the miller’s wife and little brown eggs from the seamstress’s daughter.  They thought about whether they already knew the witch’s response to this question too, in their heart, and what it would mean if they were wrong.

“You know the answer to that,” the person who was a witch’s apprentice now said, because they had learned well, and because some things hurt too much to admit if they’re not returned.

Then the witch stepped forward, finally, and pulled them into her arms like a mother.  “You’re my own child, now,” she said.  “Everything changes.  The past only matters because it gave us what we have now.”

.

(Does it seem too easy?  It’s not.  Growth never, ever is.

It took more than a summer and a winter, when it really happened.  It took more pain and more yelling and more doubt to build that trust.  But it did grow.  And the story’s tidier, like this.)

(And if the forgiveness here surprises you on either side, or the willingness to try, well--)

(Witches are practical down to their bones, and whether they use it to be cruel or kind or selfish or saviors-of-all is down to them, but they all know there’s no sense in discarding an outstretched hand when it’s offered.  It worked, this time, for the right people with just the right amount of neediness and hope.  Sometimes the world does that.)

.

By the time summer came around again, the witch’s apprentice had had plenty of time to think and ponder and consider who they were to become.

The only difference between a dragon and a person was their shape, after all, so what was evil for a person must also be evil for a dragon.  What was wrong for a person must also be wrong for a dragon, and always had been, whether the dragon they’d been had known it or not.  So: they had done great evil, long ago and far away, and could not make it undone.  What next?

The witch, who was just as practical as her apprentice, sat and talked to them as they cooked and knit and worked potions and spells together in the hut all winter long, and by the time the world was warm again, the apprentice had made a decision.

“I can’t stay,” they said.  “I’ve done too much harm in the world.  I need to go out and do it good instead.”

“Because you think it will fix things?” the witch asked, to make sure, and also because she had grown to love her apprentice as her own child and did not want to see them leave, either.

“No,” said the apprentice, who had learned well.  “Because it’s kind and right and I’m able.”

“So be it,” said the witch, and hugged them close, and said, “Be Resolve, then, and return safe when you can.”

“Resolve,” the new druid said.  They went off not to seek it, for they’d already found it in their own heart, but to see it through.

And that was the last anybody ever saw of the blue dragon.

.

And that’s the end of the story.

.

(Well.  It’s an end.)

(Oh, you want to know about the Hero Resolve?  There are months‘ worth of stories about that, and you’d probably know a few dozen of them yourself already, if you lived in Nokomoris.  They all go more or less the same way, really.)

(The Hero Resolve arrives in a town, or a valley or kingdom or mountain or an island in the middle of the sea, and someone, somewhere, is suffering.  They find somebody with the power to do something about it.  It might be the sufferer themself, sometimes, but usually it’s not.  Maybe it’s the local lord who’s too distracted to notice the problem, or the local witch who’s too overwhelmed to cope.  Maybe the local bandits are too incompetent at stealing to provide for their children.  Resolve isn’t always picky in the way you’d expect, when they choose who to give advice.)

(The advice isn’t always easy to follow, mind you.  There’s hardly a good story in that.  But if they do follow Resolve’s suggestions--they’ll live happily ever after, eventually.)

(If not, Resolve will generally have to beat them up first, with shillelagh staff or beast form or just a bit of bare-handed cleverness, probably, depending on who’s telling the story.  But everyone else will live happily ever after anyway.)

(And that’s it.  That’s the Hero Resolve.  They roamed for years, back and forth across the continent, to every place you could ever name.  They fixed a lot of problems.  They probably took a couple levels in monk or something.  Every culture on Nokomoris has some variant on the Stubborn Hero stories if you ask.)

.

...

...

(Oh, you want more?)

.

(Well then.)

.

Once upon a time, as the Hero Resolve was out wandering the land, they came upon a rumor of a great evil on the other side of the sea.

(There, that’s how these stories are supposed to start, right?)

Since they had nothing else better to do that afternoon, they packed up their staff and their lunch and all their magic items, the bow with a string spun from spider-silk that could send an arrow through solid rock, the cloak that looked like a midsummer sky dyed with berries grown in water from the Spring of Life, and so on and so forth, as y’do.  They took a boat and sailed over to the kingdom on the other side of the sea and asked the crew and the passengers what they’d heard in these rumors about a cruel baroness who tormented the land with her powers, and pondered how they’d deal with the problem when they got there.

They had just about enough information to go looking for the Baroness’s castle when they disembarked in port, and found it in short enough order.  Some versions say they asked a magpie for help.  Other versions say the Baroness sent the magpie herself, to invite the renowned hero into her parlor, looking for another game or--

Or who knows what.  The important thing is that Resolve found themself ushered into a lavish entryway draped in silver and velvet, and from there into an even more lavish parlor draped in damask and gold, and then into an even more lavish dining room draped in platinum and silk.  They were still dressed in their sea-salt-stained traveling leathers, with their spidersilk bow and their sky blue cloak.  They had their iron knife at their belt, and their staff that had been a gift from the witch when they first left home, that looked like nothing so much as the gnarled stick of a broom with the bristles pulled off.  And there in the dining room of sumptuous luxury, they sat down to wait.

When the Baroness herself came in, she was--well, nobody is quite sure what she was, gnome or tiefling or even a tall graceful elf, in a world before elves.  She could have been dragonborn or human or one of the cat-people, bird-people, turtle-people from the south, who knows?  It’s different every time somebody tells the story.  Everybody agrees, though, on this: that she was as breathtakingly beautiful as a single moon on a pitch-dark night, and that her eyes glittered the color of gold.

Their eyes met, the Hero Resolve and the Baroness Revelry, two pairs of dragon-gold eyes in faces that should not have held them.  For one long, breathless moment, it was as though no time had passed at all, and then they fell into each others’ arms and hugged with arms they’d never had to put around each other before.

.

Resolve and Revelry slept that night curled up like lovers in Revelry’s enormous fur-draped bed.  They spoke, a little, about where and how and who they’d been in all the years since they’d seen each other.  They hid more.  The Great Hero Resolve had made a whole life out of seeing the end of the sort of deeds the Evil Baroness Revelry had made a life out of seeing done.  There was only so much they could admit to each other of themselves.

And yet...they were still both of them so very much themselves.  Revelry’s grin and sparkling wicked wit still brought Resolve to helpless laughter.  Resolve’s steadiness and dry understated insight warmed and calmed a thing in Revelry’s chest that had not been calm in so many years.  They had neither of them been quite this happy in all the time they’d been apart, and now, back with each other again, it seemed like the real loss hadn’t been their claws and fangs and wings at all.

Resolve was used to sleeping lightly and waking early.  The witch always rose with the sun, and it was only sensible for a hero on the road, whether they camped by the side of the road or in haylofts or let themself be made a guest of anywhere.  They opened their eyes with the first light of dawn, and looked down at the woman sleeping next to them, and thought about the sharp edge of their iron belt knife, which had killed fiends and monsters and people.

It would be simple, to do the job they’d come here to do.  They loved their oldest, dearest friend, of course they did, but--

How does an evil thing love?  It seemed impossible that Resolve could have ever really loved their dragon-companions, back when they were still a dragon, before they understood what love or evil or being a person even meant.  It seemed impossible for Resolve to still love her now, and if Revelry was still the same as she had been, how could she ever love anything at all in return?

The Hero Resolve felt the hilt of their knife on the floor beside the bed, and watched their long-lost heart’s companion sleep until Revelry opened her eyes, glinting golden in the morning sun.  And looking at those eyes, Resolve let the knife go, and promised themself that they would try again tomorrow.

That day they breakfasted together, and Revelry showed Resolve all the halls of her manor and all the gardens of her estate, and Resolve showed off some of their many shapes and forms, and they told longer and truer stories about their lives.  Resolve tried to grasp for their namesake every time they caught a glimpse of the evil in Revelry’s stories, again and again, all afternoon and all night.  They slept tangled together in the same bed again.

And so they lived for a week, with Resolve trying to find conviction within themself and failing, with Revelry discovering more joy in her long-lost friend than she’d felt in all the years in between, with Resolve’s iron knife tucked safely beneath their pillow in Revelry’s bed every night.

.

On the seventh morning, Resolve got as far as drawing the knife in hand.  They’d thought a million times this week about attacking their old friend in the middle of the day, and every time they caught sight of those old familiar eyes, they lost the nerve.  Murdering a sleeping lover in her very bed...it was cowardly and dishonorable, of course, but it would be effective.  Effective mattered more than honorable.  Resolve had learned that from the witch all those years ago.

Results mattered more than intentions.  Fine, Resolve loved Revelry with so much of their heart that this might break them forevermore.  So what?  Revelry was a monster, a scourge on the land around her, a murderer and worse.  That mattered.  Resolve’s own heart would heal, or wouldn’t.  They’d slaughtered too many people in their own time for their feelings to be worth more than the lives of Revelry’s future victims now.

And yet, as they sat poised with knife in hand, watching Revelry sleep...once more, they hesitated.  And this time, when Revelry opened her eyes, she saw the knife before Resolve could tuck it away.

“Are you going to kill me, my love?” Revelry asked, as calmly as a still summer morning.

“Yes,” said Resolve.  “Yes I am, because whatever you are to me, you bring so much suffering to the rest of the world.  It’s kind and right to do this, and I’m able, and whatever else I am or ever have been, I choose to be a person.”

Revelry nodded a long, slow nod in the quiet of the room’s dawn light.  Resolve waited for her to grab for a weapon or a spell or Resolve’s own staff, for the Baroness had become quite a wizard in her own right in the time since they’d known each other last.  And they waited, poised and frozen, until Revelry said,

“Then I’ll let you.”

Resolve drew back in shock and confusion, and Revelry continued, “I’ve felt more joy this week with you than from any thing I’ve seen or done in all the years we’ve been apart.  I’d rather you kill me than watch you leave again.  I’d rather know I could at least make you happy.”

“This won’t make me happy,” Resolve snapped, with tears in their eyes.  “It has to be done, even if it does ruin me to do it, but that doesn’t make me happy about it.”

Revelry frowned, then, and for the first time began to reach below her own pillow.  “Really?”

“You know I love you,” said Resolve, and all in a flurry their iron knife met the rod Revelry kept tucked safely to hand in bed every night, just in case--though this hadn’t been the way she’d expected to use it.

“Then I can’t let you kill me,” Revelry said, rolling to her feet and facing off against the great hero now, both of them barely armed and dressed in bedclothes, squaring off with the enormous fur-draped bed between them.  “I love you too much to let anything make you miserable, including yourself, whatever you think about your morals now.”  And then they fell to fighting.

It was a strange, furious half-battle, both of them trying too hard not to hurt the other in spite of themselves, desperately working to keep their voices down before the servants of the house could hear and came running.  They twisted and fought, arguing the whole time--

“I can’t just let you keep doing the things you’ve always done!  You were given a chance at a whole new life, and still you’ve chosen to be a monster!”

“Why do you care about them?  What are any of them worth that you care more about them than yourself?”

“Because they’re people!  And I’m a person!  And so are you, but you don’t want to be!”

“If I stop tricking idiots to their deaths, will that make you happy?  And keep you from trying to do something ridiculous and self-destructive like murdering your own lover in the name of honor?”

“It doesn’t count if you’re only doing it to please me!  I can’t be the only thing in the whole world you care about!  Your entire morality can’t just be me!”

“Well why not?”

And they fell back, both of them panting and bloodied, in now-ragged night gowns, staring at each other from opposite sides of a destroyed room.

“I don’t care about torturing them,” said Revelry.  “It’s fun.  I don’t care if it makes me evil, I don’t care about them or their feelings or their stupid little lives, but I care about you.  I’ll stop it all, if you ask me to.”

“This is a terrible foundation for a relationship,” Resolve said.  “But fine.”

.

(Yes, I’m taking liberties with the story.  Know your audience, they say.  Most of the time that bit’s just a lot of arguing, or more violent and less dramatic or romantic depending on who’s telling it, but who doesn’t love a good half-naked sword fight?  Why ruin the tattered nightgowns thinking about the fact that the two major participants are mainly caster-classes, anyway?)

(One of them is clearly an illogical idiot, you say.  Fair enough, but let’s table the discussion there before you and your neighbors get into your own virtual brawl over which one it is.  They’re both illogical idiots.  That’s how love--and fairytales-- work.)

(Want a life lesson from this one?  Don’t turn a single person into your entire moral compass and your whole world.  Also, don’t try to force yourself to stab the person you’re in love with for the Greater Good.  None of this exactly how it actually went, and it only worked out in the end with a whole lot of luck and a lot more hard work than we have time and space for here.  This is a fairytale.  It’s not meant to be exact history.)

(But yes, from me to you--it did really end happily-ever-after, even when it actually happened.  Or at least, as-happily-as-ever, which is about as good as real life ever gets.)

.

In the end, Resolve and Revelry slipped off in the middle of the afternoon, without a single word to the servants or any sign of their going.  Revelry brought a single small bag of tools and treasure, less even than she’d taken from her old hoard when she first began this life, and they boarded a boat back across the sea under fake names, with secret grins that threatened to burst out into laughter at every moment.

Resolve brought Revelry back to the home of the witch who they still called Mother, and introduced her by name, and did not explain the details of their past, although the witch was canny and clever and figured it out right away anyway.  Eventually, when Resolve ventured forth across the land once again, Revelry came with them, and together they learned to turn saving-the-world into a game interesting enough to keep Revelry’s attention even when Resolve wasn’t watching them at every moment.  She never did quite learn to embrace guilt or regret, but she grew to find a soft spot for scrappy, clever underdogs who just needed half a chance to learn to fight.

They did eventually come to the city where the man Repentance lived and worked, and met him and embraced him again, for a while.  He still remembered his love for the blue dragon, but he could not forgive his one-time companions for their pasts any more than he could forgive himself.  Revelry, at least, was easy for him to condemn and hate, but most especially he could not understand how Resolve might have come to see the evil of their past crimes and yet still willingly laugh and live and find joy in it all anyway.  In the end they parted ways quickly, for while they all three of them now sought to bring good to the world, Resolve and Revelry chose to pursue it through happiness and hope, and Repentence could only see regret.

And so they traveled on for many years, and lived very nearly happily for very nearly forever after, and that’s all there is to the story of the Hero Resolve and the Baroness Revelry.

.

The end.

.

(No, I mean it this time.)

.

(Look, that’s the end of the story!  There’s plenty of other little side-stories and folktales in there, but whenever anybody on Onde actually tells this story, this is where it ends.  That’s how it goes!)

(Yes, I mean it.)

(Yes, I realize I've said that these are two extremely high-level spellcasters, both of whom remember spending centuries of their lives as nigh-immortal dragons and one of whom has barely found enough of a sense of right and wrong to qualify as Chaotic Neutral.  And I’m suggesting they lived out the rest of their short natural lives as a couple of flightless humanoids and never found a way to correct their lives or forms.  And they never ran into any desperate tragedy of disparate species lifespans, or had to deal with archdruid timeless body, or--)

(Yes.  Yes, I did say at the beginning of the post that this was the story of my very favorite near-godlike NPC, but--)

.

(Okay.  Okay, fine.)

(There’s one more thing to know.)

(This isn’t part of the story, though, so don’t go spreading it around.  Nobody on Onde knows this part, except for those that do.  And that’s a story for a very different day.)

.

True Polymorph is a ninth-level spell.  It can transform any willing wizard or druid who’s already at a high enough level to cast it into a fully-grown adult green or blue dragon with ease.  It’s permanent, if you concentrate on it for a full hour.  And dragons can cast spells, even the sorts of spells that would let them turn back into an old humanoid form that’s gotten comfortable and familiar, and maybe they rarely learn to do much in the first thousand years or so of life, but most dragons aren’t forced to live as humanoids for a couple of decades or centuries to figure out how, so--

Well.  True Polymorph lasts without being concentrated on, anyway, once it sticks, but--even it doesn’t tend to hold up well to dropping to zero hit points or running afoul of a Dispel Magic, after a while.

(Yes, the RAW are ambiguous, here.  And?  This is Onde.  True Polymorph can guide the world into holding a new shape indefinitely, but it can’t rewrite the truth of existence.)

A fully-grown adult dragon may not find themself reduced to zero hit points all that often, but Resolve and Revelry weren’t about to give up adventuring just to return to their old forms forever.  Dispel could get...awkward.  There had to be a safer way, didn’t there?

“How did you make it stay?” Resolve asked the witch, so many years later that even an archdruid such as the witch had become old.  She shook her head.

“There’s a spell,” she said.  “With components I never saw in all my life before or since.  They’re long gone now.”

(Was it a spell?  Was it a one-use spell scroll, enchanted in centuries gone by and long forgotten?  Was it a magic item?)

(Does the nature of the MacGuffin matter, in the end, or just its effect?)

“But the spell exists” said Resolve--and, well, what are heroes for if not tracking down mysteries and finding components?  Plane-shifting to gather sap from the forests of the gods, or the bones of every material plane, or the dust from the plains below Sigil itself, or--well.  Does that matter, either, the how?

It’s very difficult to tell a legendary hero that there’s no way.

.

(They transformed the man Repentance back, too, when they changed themselves.  It took them two days to hunt him down and slaughter him, two dragons against one, when he decided that it was his duty as a dragon again to do exactly the thing that dragons were for.)

(It goes like that, sometimes.  Not every redemption arc quite works.  You can tell yourself that he let his oldest companions rip his throat out, in the end, out of the last shards of love for them or horror at what he’d become.  It might be true.)

(Everybody learns.  What they learn, on the other hand, is entirely up to them.)

.

There are people to the west of the Western Wall mountains, in the dragonlands where all colors of dragon are common, and known, and feared, who tell a story about a high valley in the dry lands of the peaks, surrounded by dense pine forests and bare dust-blasted stone and open sky.  If you need something--if you truly need something, and you’re desperate enough to do what it takes to get it, you can climb up there looking and ask.

You’ll get advice from somebody, if you’re lucky, if you can make it past the storms and the woods and the heights up the secret paths to get there.  Follow it no matter what, however hard it is, and things will turn out happily ever after for you in the end.  If you reject the advice, things will turn out happily ever after for someone, probably, but there’s a good chance you’ll get your ass kicked on top of the problems you already had, first.

It’s not a bad place to retire, when you’re old and enormous enough to call yourself truly Ancient.  Ruling the whole world is a nice idea to toss around every couple of decades, but really, it’s such a lot of work, and--really, it’s enough of a job just being your wife’s conscience (or letting your spouse be your conscience), let alone taking on an entire planet full of other people too.  Better, really, to let things go along on their own way.

It’s not a bad place to raise children up here, either.  Oh, there’s plenty of bloodlust and rage in most wyrmlings of any color, but--what’s bloodlust and rage got to do with anything?  How is anyone supposed to learn how to be a person, without somebody there to teach them that they are?

They go their own way, when they’re old enough, and some of them for the better and some of them for the worse, but--

Well.  That really is beyond the end of this story.  There’s no telling what hasn’t happened yet.

.

As to ‘happily-ever-after’...

That’s a fairytale ending, of course.  Resolve and Revelry have been to the feywild plenty enough times to know a fair few fairy tales direct from the source themselves, but at this point, we’re not really telling a campfire bedtime story any more, is it?  Now it’s just backstory for a couple of NPCs who are still alive.  They’re as happy as any old married couple who’s had centuries to grow into each other.

They’re not quite gods, because even an ancient dragon with an archwizard’s spellbook or an archdruid’s control is still a creature of flesh and blood and bone, and mortal in their own way.  Some villain or hero or furious ex-student, some god or quest or just old age and ennui will get them eventually.  No telling how, though, or when.  No telling what might happen in the mean time.

No telling when the Hero Resolve might pull on a different shape and go on walkabout for another few years once again, with or without their love at their side, and see what they’re able to do for the world.

[paperanddice]

An uncomfortably large parasite, the genteel husk is so named for the first several that appeared together, each of which crawled inside the corpse of a member of the staff of the paranoid noble whose dreams spawned the husks. In time it was discovered the body and the creature were distinct beings, but the name stuck and several attempts to change it to something more accurate to the nightmare's form have thus far failed to take root in the community of sages and hunters that study and discuss manifested dreams. Since that first appearance, new husks have manifested in other areas, taking a variety of different bodies that were available and revealing the true nature of the dream.

The husk is around the size of a small dog, the largest seen around 2.5 feet, and while they always have some insect-like properties and a pair of long stingers, the exact look of them is highly variable and they are recognized more by actions than specific appearance. They have been tracked with fish, octopus, bird, cat, and even humanoid features, and no one yet has come up with a satisfactory explanation for these different appearances. All husks carry the same desire however, to burrow into a body and use it for safety and security. These bodies deteriorate quickly however, rarely lasting more than a few days and even less if the husk is drawn into a battle. While fully inside the corpse the body is hard to recognize as false, but when threatened the husk will peel open the opening it created to enter the corpse and will use its stingers to defend itself. They don't appear to have the understanding of how to fight using the corpse body itself, as no husk has ever been seen to do so. This method of fighting can be very disturbing to the husk's opponents, as the stingers and the husk's head will emerge from the body's back or side more often than not, tearing through clothing if necessary.

Fortunately, genteel husks rarely gather in numbers, as that requires them to compete for bodies, but as shown during the first ever manifestation of one they may appear in groups and so long as there's enough prey to go around they may remain in close proximity. Outside of dreams, the genteel husk would probably be a monstrosity of some kind, a horrific parasite that actively eats the bodies it takes and may lay eggs within an abandoned corpse. Perhaps a wandering husk could contain some swarm of young husks, rather than an adult. I'll leave such a stat block to your own exercise. Originally from the Dreamblade base set. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

5th Edition

Do note that the damage for Gnaw the Body might seem a touch low for what it's intended to do, but as the target must be incapacitated the attack will often be an automatic critical hit for 6d6 damage instead of 3d6. Let players have a chance to prevent this attack, as the potential high damage and the risk of instant death could be quite brutal. The husk is very unlikely to use this attack unless it has no body already animated, as in a position of defending itself it will more likely continue using its stingers on active threats.

Genteel Husk Small aberration, unaligned Armor Class 14 (natural armor) Hit Points 78 (12d6 + 36) Speed 20 ft. Str 11 (+0) Dex 17 (+3) Con 17 (+3) Int 6 (-2) Wis 9 (-1) Cha 9 (-1) Skills Deception +2, Stealth +6 Senses passive Perception 9 Languages any two languages Challenge 5 (1800 XP) Impersonate. While the husk has at least 30 temporary hit points from Burrow Into Husk, it has advantage on Charisma (Deception) checks to pretend to be the body that it's animating. Actions Multiattack. The genteel husk makes two Stinger attacks. Stinger. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6+3) piercing damage and the target must make a DC 14 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, the target takes 10 (3d6) poison damage and is poisoned for one minute. While poisoned in this way, the target is paralyzed and takes 3 (1d6) poison damage at the start of each of its turns. A poisoned target can repeat the save at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on a success. On a successful save, the target takes half as much poison damage and isn't poisoned. Gnaw The Body. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one incapacitated creature. Hit: 13 (3d6+3) piercing damage. If this damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target immediately dies and the genteel husk can use Burrow Into Husk as a bonus action. Burrow Into Husk. The genteel husk targets the corpse of one Medium or Small creature within 5 feet of it that died within the last hour. The corpse must be of a beast, dragon, humanoid, or monstrosity. The husk burrows into the corpse and spreads its tendrils through the body, animating it under the husk's control. The husk immediately gains 60 temporary hit points. It loses 1 hit point every hour. As long as it has temporary hit points, its AC becomes 16 (natural armor), and the husk is resistant to bludgeoning damage. The husk can't use this action again until it exits the animated body (as a bonus action) or it runs out of temporary hit points.

13th Age

I don't often have nastier specials on monsters, as they're often a bit harder for me to think of, but this one had a very obvious example to differentiate a more difficult husk fight from a "regular" one.

Genteel Husk  Double-Strength 4th level spoiler [aberration]  Initiative: +7 Stinger +10 vs. AC - 10 damage plus 10 ongoing poison damage. First Failed Save: The target takes 10 ongoing poison damage and is dazed (save ends both). Second Failed Save: The target takes 10 ongoing poison damage, and is dazed and stuck (save ends all). Third Failed Save: The target stops taking ongoing poison damage and is instead stunned (hard save ends, 16+). Vicious Tearing +12 vs. PD (one stuck or stunned target) - 30 damage. Burrow Into Husk: If the genteel husk drops an enemy to 0 hp or fewer and doesn’t currently have an animated body (see husk armor below), it starts trying to burrow into the creature’s body as a free action. The target must begin making last gasp saves as the husk eats into its body. On the fourth failed save, the target dies and the husk crawls into its form, gaining a new husk to use. If the husk is stunned or moved away from the creature and can’t return to it on its turn, the target doesn’t have to make a last gasp save that turn. Husk Armor: If the genteel husk kills an enemy with burrow into husk, or if it spends an action to crawl into the dead body of a normal beast, dragon or humanoid, it can animate the corpse and use it as a puppet. The husk gains 60 temporary hit points. The husk is disguised as the creature it stole the body of, but uses its own attacks and actions as normal. If it loses all of its temporary hit points, the body falls apart and the husk can no longer attempt to animate it. AC 21 PD 18 MD 15 HP 85 Nastier Specials:  This Body Will Do: The husk starts the fight with husk armor. The body has 3d20 temporary hit points remaining.

[luminisvii]

anyway i’ve been playing three houses on maddening lately because i hate myself, and i also hated looking at tier lists that put some characters who are actually quite bad for high difficulty up top, i made my own tier list of suggested feth characters for if you do a maddening run. this is really just so i can scream about what characters i think are best (spoiler alert: it’s lysithea)

so, here we go, tell’s three houses tier list!

disclaimer: based on personal experience, not all characters have been used on maddening, but i have played the game like... eight times. on my ninth run. so i have some pretty decent data on majority of the characters. 

tier is determined by how easy a character is to use, how much investment they require, and stat growths. crests+relics also influence this, since people who can use relics effectively are better. the game tells me not to judge based on crests, but come on! 

lords are not included, jeritza is also not because he’s CF post skip exclusive, but come on, we all know where he’d place anyway

the real tier list is this: if you’re playing on normal or hard, literally anyone is fine. follow your heart. invest in who you like. on maddening, you unfortunately need to be a little more discerning. and sometimes, you just get rng screwed, even with the best, so rip lmao 

TOP TIER (FOR COOL KIDS ONLY)

-lysithea: the coolest kid, doesn’t need a bed time. obvious bc her spell list and stats and access to relic are great. also look at her. shes bappy. she says so herself in her support with cyril (the only valid cyril support) all jokes aside, she can go down the basic mage line and mow down anyone who comes within her insane range. she also does well as a valkyrie, but with the speed penalty, i don’t recommend her staying in the class for long. just get uncanny blow! then hades will never miss! 

-felix: he may be a shadow the hedgehog motherfucker but he has one important thing that shadow doesnt: crest of fraldarius. i guess shadow has a gun, though. felix is just straightforward gameplay baby. you send him at something and it dies. go crest boy go!

-mercedes: im legally obligated to put mercie in here because of her personal, her crest, and fortify. although restore is also super neat! miss mercie is just plain reliable as a healer. easily goes through the priest line to gremory.

-balthus: extremely helpful early game, doesn’t fall off later either. his personal skill of str/def +6 when below half health means he can either straightforwardly tank or just punch shit so hard it doesn’t have a chance to strike back. also gets a relic, healing focus, and a major crest that allows him to heal, so he’s a one man army. he does one thing really well and that’s use his fists to liquefy his opponents. also gets rally strength if you care about that. my favorite strategy with him is to let the damn poison strike archers knock his health down and then just go to town, combined with vantage for REAL fun. forget war monk, this guy should just go to war master

-sylvain: this little slut will join you if you’ve got boobs so he’s real handy to have around. plus he’s got some great qualities: flexible, strong, free relic, and maybe kinda hot i guess. you could make him a paladin, but you should give him a giant lizard. he can basically become any of the master classes with ease, although i would not recommend putting him into magic classes that much unless you wanna do a wholly mage sylvie build. will still perform just fine as a dark mage even without dedicated magery. but seriously, dragon

-petra: you want crit??? you got crit!!! this little lady can not only crit like hell but also dodge tank really well. i had fun making her a falcoknight once and just watching her line it all up and tear it all down. petra is reliable and stronk and also horrible to fight against so just. recruit her, please

-constance: entirely here because of bolting. for the low price of her reason being A you can nuke enemies from across the map. while you could make her the canon class of dark flier, i for one think the warlock line is better, because that’s four uses of bolting and even more if her crest activates. she also has a similar statline to lysithea and hits like a truck with other spells, and with bolting can supply long range support, so really, what’s not to love? the rest of her spells are good too. i go for gremory over dark flier bc while the mobility is great, x4 bolting is even better. 

PRETTY GOOD TIER

-ingrid: extremely reliable, only down here instead of in the cool kids category bc her strength kinda sucks. i love ingrid though! she’s got a gambit gimmick and a crest+relic! ingrid with the chalice is super funny and i highly recommend it. i watched her fucking OWN every single siege tome user like that

-ignatz: some will say he sucks. some would argue his utility as a debuffer and rallybot. i will argue this ungodly crit. ignatz is a very luck man, blessed with great opportunities and a base crit value beyond any other. the little man will strike you down in the name of the goddess before you even know what’s going on. with a little help his strength will match the others and if you slap as much crit up on him as possible then it’ll never end. ignatz could be a one man army if he could crit more than one person at once. unfortunately he’s stuck to one divine judgment at a time. you can either use his 55% luck growth and archer level dex to gamble on a high crit rate, or you can stack his personal with another hit +20 to basically never miss anything. if you play deer, this man is a must.

-hilda: the usual, a crest, a relic, good times, a nice personal, but also like. she slaps. in general. pretty sick with an axe but works nicely as almost any physical class (i haven’t tried sword, though) because she naturally goes down the warrior line she can get some real fun times going. or just give her a lizard! women love swarms of lizards. she is a delicate little flower who will end a motherfucker

-ferdinand: fairly reliable as a cavalier class, and comes with some natural dodge tanky capability and access to seteth’s spear of assal and ochain shield which make him restore health like crazy and his personal will stay on. also a counter attack block is nice! he’s got some nice combat arts too. just a pretty straightforward cavalier. good times

-seteth: and while we’re on the crest of cichol, seteth is gonna make sure you never raise a finger against him again. you won’t survive. the only prepromote i use. he has good base stats, good growths, and he just does really well at what he does! he may come in a little late but he’s strong as fuck and is shredded. i tend to favor him over ferdie for the cichol linked items, but also i’m biased towards this anxiety dad, so take that as you will

-marianne: she tends to get left out of the healer talks because like most of the deer, she’s kind of weird. i will make an argument for her. what she lacks in utility she makes up for sheer raw power. while her crest won’t be of much use until very late and even then her sword prowess is not what you should be using her for, her spell list is all high power and she also comes with easy access to silence, which can nicely stall for some time against powerful mage enemies. she also gets a heal to herself if she’s standing next to an animal since all her friends are horses. still kinda slow as most healers are and not as much of a res tank, but a formidable edition nonetheless. blutgang is a good pinch hitter relic as well

-caspar: like most gauntlet users, caspar is good at one thing: punching. he is just really good at it. he’s perfectly geared towards being a war master. and he’ll perform that very well. he gets healing focus as one of his arts, so he can run off on his own if he wants. solidly reliable, will work at just. punching. go short king!

-yuri: the man’s utility is unrivaled. he’d go top tier if it weren’t for the fact that he’s got unreliable strength/magic growths. he could go either way as a physical attacker or a mage, but he naturally fits well in the assassin class along with trickster, and even dancer if you like (i’m trying that and honestly the male dancer animation is so sad. like. why can’t you put as much energy into it as the women.) but this man can go. hes fast. he’ll fuck you up

-hubert: while not as hard hitting as lysithea, the man still fucks things up with dark magic like she does. he lacks her double crests but he makes up for it by still smacking people’s nuts clean off and with the added bonus of range and debuffs dark magic provides. even better, you can make him a dark mage/bishop! however points off because they won’t let me stack fiendish blow. love u vampire man!!! unfortunately locked to CF so rip.

NICE TIER: 

-lorenz: i adore him but hes a little unreliable as things go. in house, hes the better paladin than leonie, and his personal grants him a nice damage bonus with a battalion. lorenz shines as a dark knight the most, he has a heavy hitting spell list and if you really want to, thyrsus is technically his relic even though everyone puts it on lysithea! i really like him and he can perform really well but unfortunately like most of the deer he is Weird and this can put him in strange places with his growths. tis a cruel world, being a lorenz stan!

-dorothea: also suffers from strange statline. for some reason they’re pushing sword with her. honestly, because she’s outperformed by other mages, even on black eagles i tend to put her into dancer and kinda forget about her. she has quite a bit in heavy hitting spells and her personal skill grants a very nice mini heal to people around her, but honestly, i usually favor lysithea over her. she functions best as pure support but can still pull through on the offense. sadly, the competition is really rough.

-ashe: does his job, and does it well. not as heavy of a hitter as some of his fellow archers, but still good nonetheless, and has access to deadeye for extra range (although don’t count on it on maddening). his personal means he can unlock things no matter what class he’s in, so you can focus on others! i personally think that, you guessed it, he should get a giant lizard.

-annette: she does well, sadly outperformed by other house mages. functions as a rallybot and gets crusher if you care about that. i missed crusher completely in my first lions run, whoops, and then in my second one i had constance so uh. sorry, annette! she’s so very sweet, but her spell list has her down here.

-leonie: im hiding before the leonie stans get me. sure, like sylvain, she has his ability and shared flexibility for any class, but unlike sylvain she lacks power, a crest, and a relic. i see people keep arguing that she’s a massive damage dealer, but i honestly never see it. she falls off damage wise really quick, even if she’s got more than enough speed to deal with it. she’s basically just a lamer sylvain or ingrid without the crest abilities that those two have to make them stronger. what? the game keeps TELLING me crest = bad but as far as i can tell, all the best characters have one! on maddening GD, she’ll be good at first, but she’ll drop.

-dedue: i would rank this man higher since i simply adore him but he’s SUPER difficult for me to use. his defense is unrivaled, this man will flinch at nothing, but his speed is almost always shit and he tends to get nuked from orbit by mages. i love him, i really do, but man he can be a lot to manage. he does really well early game but can’t keep up. which is a shame, i really like him :(

-flayn: she has quite a bit of capability with rescue and fortify, and her major crest means her healing is even more potent. however she’s a little slow, extremely fragile, joins low leveled after you’ve already invested in a different healer, and is not very strong. she IS a res tank, though, and learns seal magic, which adds to her res tanking capability. she also synergizes with the caduceus staff, so she can be very self sufficient, and hit from farther away! flayn does very well. the major penalty is a lackluster spell list and significant investment buy in.

-hapi: she’s… weird. i like hapi quite a bit but she’s got it worse than lorenz in terms of stat growth. her personal ability makes her an extreme aggro target for monsters and she can’t even avoid their attacks, and the bonus damage it grants unfortunately isn’t better than fellow DLC mage constance, who hits harder just out of sheer momentum. for having a healing crest, she doesn’t have a particularly interesting white magic line. her dark magic grants her utility similar to hubert, but she’s slower and can’t quite strike like he does. sadly miss hapi has to be down here. id like to put her higher but boy did she struggle

-raphael: well, he’ll do his job. he’s only beat by caspar since caspar has a little bit better tools at his disposal, but they’re basically the same character. raph will do very good at punching the living shit out of things. starts off better than caspar, but unfortunately in my current run i have balthus so raph had to get benched

YOU CAN DO BETTER TIER

-bernadetta: she’ll work alright, but only with lots of attention, and her personal doesn’t seem to make up the difference. for a sniper she seems to have far less hit than her rivals in ashe and ignatz, especially since ignatz makes him more reliable. her crest doesn’t actually grant her much since it has such a low trigger rate and by the time it does work she probably already can double. also she gains no levels between pre and post skip which is hilarious but like. HELLO? ive also been told she has the worst starting stats. personally, i only use her on BE runs. i know she’s a popular character and a lot of people rank her highly for persecution complex and the fact that she learns both encloser and deadeye, but deadeye is unreliable in maddening and she’s a lot of work to keep up with the others.

-cyril: he can become a killer, he honestly does really well, but he starts so far behind you need to invest a significant amount into him. i don’t recall him having a particularly stellar combat art line either, but if you choose to put in all the work of catching the kid up, he will do well. but it’s not worth it most of the time. i use him on church route runs bc it feels right. on other runs, you’ll already have someone who fits his niche--the guy becomes a wyvern rider, and the likes of sylvain can do much better in this line.

-linhardt: kind of a shittier flayn, without fortify or rescue. lackluster spell list for both black and white, and terrible growths. he’ll do fine if you play eagles, but if you’re going to import a healer, mercie or flayn is the better option. 

-anna: oh lord, anna is difficult. her offensive stats are horrendous. flayn hits harder than her. with her unique stat line, inability to get supports, weakness in authority, and all around just odd set up, anna is not a reliable character and you should use yuri instead. they’ve basically got the same crest.

DIDN’T USE SO NO OPINION TIER: 

-hanneman

-manuela (heard she’s not good anyway)

-alois

-gilbert

-catherine

-shamir

(yes there’s a trend to this which is past FEs have trained me away from using prepromotes!)

and there we go! im still biased towards GD but the characters who do best are the ones who have a clear class line to follow and a statline that matches it. 

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 30

A/N: I initially forgot that the HP-related stat in The Gamer was VIT and not CON when I first started writing this chapter because I had DnD on the brain. How embarrassing would it have been if I hadn't caught that?

xoxoxo

I looked at my newest text boxes as Aizawa-sensei talked.

Through repeated meditation, your VIT has increased by one!

By raising VIT above 100, two random skills have been created!

The skill 'Healing Grace' has been created through VIT rising above 100 and having a healing skill with a level of 95 or higher!

The skill 'Immovable Object' has been created through VIT rising above 100!

The skill 'Purity of Body' has been created through VIT rising above 100!

Through repeated meditation, your STR has increased by one!

I'd actually got them on the way to school so I could go to my work study, which was pretty lucky. My VIT had been pretty close to the hundred-point benchmark after that ridiculous +15 to all stats, so naturally I'd had my Mantra set to level it up for the past few days. And now that I had the skills, I'd probably be trying to get my STR up. It wasn't as high as VIT was, but it still wasn't that far off so I'd set Mantra to level it unless I was Meditating, when I would switch Mantra to something else and use Meditation for STR. Mantra's benefits had improved slightly as it leveled up, so it might even happen within the month!

I closed the text boxes after I was done reading what the skills did. Purity of Body was the standard improved version of the previous benchmark's skill, nothing much to comment on there other than the fact that it probably synergized well with Damage Reduction because it improved my HP. Immovable Object was... I suppose it was good and I could definitely find uses for it, but it looked a little unwieldy, too... It was a powerful barrier spell, but the barrier got a lot of its strength from being rooted, completely immobile. Even after turning the skill off the barrier would take a few moments to dissolve, leaving me immobile unless I could brute force my way through it... which I could probably do if I wanted, but not without using up more MP. At the very least I was already halfway through puzzling out how to use Item Enchantment to combine it with Imaginary Architect, which would give it a lot more versatility (though I doubted I'd get much EXP if at all for it if I only used an enchantment derived from it...). The barrier would be immobile even in midair, though it thankfully made me immobile relative to Earth and not truly immobile so I wouldn't fly off every time I used it.

I noticed, though, that it reminded me of Illusion Barrier in a way. I couldn't tell too well without actually using the skill, but it felt like it drew on the same underlying dimensional... thing... that Illusion Barrier tapped into, though in a different manner. Instead of creating another layer of reality using its fabric, it seemed like the barrier would gain extra stability by being rooted to it. Though maybe 'rooted' might not have been the right word for it...

The best skill, though, was Healing Grace. In addition to increasing the rate at which my HP naturally regenerated, it also enhanced the effects of any skill I had that was even remotely related to healing. That was amazing, especially with how my current objective (even if I hadn't gotten a quest for it) was to heal Iida's brother. And that wasn't all Healing Grace enhanced. Regeneration, Meditation, and Mantra also healed for more now, though it seemed that Super Regeneration, being a Quirk and not a skill, didn't have the same benefits. It didn't seem to do anything for the MP regeneration effects on Meditate and Mantra, and while I couldn't check it as easily I assumed the same could be said for the rate at which it trained my stats. Not that I cared that much, it was already good. And that wasn't even mentioning its active effect, which let me sacrifice HP to further increase how effective my healing skills were at healing others. HP that it caused me to regenerate at an increased rate. I would have to be careful with it, but just skimming a bit off the top of my very large HP bar to improve my healing and level up Healing Grace faster seemed like a good idea.

Okay maybe I was overhyping Healing Grace just a little, but it looked pretty good. Plus the fact that it modified Mantra meant that it was passively gaining EXP with Mantra, even if it was only a little.

"Remember, you're not allowed to wear your hero costumes in public without express permission from a hero you're studying under," Aizawa reminded us. We were waiting for our transportation at a train station, and Aizawa-sensei was using it as an opportunity to give us some reminders. "And make sure you keep track of them, don't just leave them lying around." He glared at me. "Speaking of... Midoriya, you're the only person here without a costume case. Where is it?"

"I have it in my inventory, sir," I told him. "I figured that since I would only be allowed to take it out when I'm allowed to use my Quirk anyway, I might as well make it easier on myself."

"I suppose that's fine, then. And everyone, remember to mind your manners. Now go, your transportation should be here soon."

"Yes, sir!" everyone said before we went our separate ways. I noticed Iida walking away alone, so I walked towards him.

"Iida!" I said. He stopped. Kacchan and Uraraka walked up behind me. "Just remember," I said. "If you ever feel overwhelmed, you can talk to me."

"Me too!" Uraraka added.

"Again, I'm probably not the best person to talk to, but I'll totally listen if you want," Kacchan said.

I smiled. "We're friends, okay?"

He slowly turned around. "Of course." With that, he resumed walking to his train. I followed him. "What are you doing, Midoriya?" he asked.

"Sorry, I think my train is this way too."

He glared at me. "Did you plan this?"

I raised my hands in defense. "I swear I didn't! My train is just this way."

"I suppose so."

"Good luck on your work study, though," I said. "And be safe."

He nodded. "You too, Midoriya."

xoxoxo

I stared at the little map that Yagi-sensei had given me, comparing it with my minimap as I walked down the street. "So this Gran Torino guy even made Yagi-sensei nervous... I wonder what he's like."

"I can't say what he's like now, but when I knew him he was nice, though very... severe," Shimura told me.

"So like Yagi-sensei's version of Aizawa-sensei?" I asked.

She made a noise a bit like a verbal shrug. "Kind of, but not exactly."

"Well I can't wait to see him."

"Speaking of, why did you choose to go here?" Honenuki asked me. "You have us, so it's not like you really need his instruction on how to properly use One For All. No offense to him, of course."

I shrugged. "Yagi-sensei said that he was heavily DEX-based, and I've been meaning to work on my mobility anyway. Plus I didn't want to just brush him off, if he knows about One For All and All For One." I paused. "Hang on, were they just the two halves of that saying? Why did I not notice that before?"

"That was the last time my brother and I agreed, actually," Ichigo explained. "A few years after he forced Power Stockpile on me, we had a confrontation. He had continued to use his Quirk, called Power Theft then, for his own selfish gain, while I had just found out I could give my Quirk to someone else." He chuckled wryly. "We actually used One For All and All For One as a bit of a shared catchphrase when we were kids, so we agreed to split it in half, as it were."

"That's... kinda poetic, actually. Thank you for telling me." I stopped, seeing that I was in the right place. I looked up from the note. "Huh. This... is the right place, right?"

The place was... this might sound bad, but it looked a little run-down. Yagi-sensei mentioned that this Torino guy had come out of retirement to teach me, so it was probably just that the building was old. The doors looked fine, though, so I hoped that it was just that the outside that was worse for wear. I knocked on the door, waiting to be let in.

A few minutes passed, so I knocked again. And again I was met with silence. "Excuse me," I said loudly. "I'm here for an internship?" There was definitely someone there on my minimap. I asked my elementals, and they told me the person was just... laying there, covered in ketchup and sausage links. "I'm coming in, excuse me!" I decided, then opened the unlocked door. If I didn't know the old man was alive and the things under him were ketchup and sausages, I probably would've thought he was dead. It didn't help that the lights were off and there was a shattered plate on the floor.

Get Off My Lawn

LV 92

Torino Sorahiko

Though I was pretty sure the dead didn't have titles. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked.

His head shot up. "I'm alive!" he shouted.

"Yeah, do you need help cleaning up? You appear to be covered in ketchup." I didn't want to assume it was a test or prank, in case he actually did slip while carrying a plate of ketchup-covered sausages. "If you'll allow it, I have water magic and can summon paper towels with my Quirk."

"Oh, thank you, young man!" He got up shakily, leaning heavily on his cane. He was definitely wearing a hero outfit, regardless of his current state. I didn't think anyone would wear a yellow cape and a domino mask casually, at least. "Who are you?"

I pulled some paper towels out of my inventory. "I'm Midoriya Izuku, from Yuuei. I'm here for a work study?"

He took the paper towels and started wiping himself off. "Oh. Who are you?"

"Midoriya Izuku."

He smiled at me. "Toshinori?"

That was Yagi-sensei's name, so I guess he knew I had One For All, at least... "Um, any help, guys?" I asked the past bearers.

"Maybe try reading his mind?" Hikiishi suggested. "You can do that, right?"

"Sora, why?" Shimura sighed.

"Where's your costume?" the old man asked once he finished wiping himself off. His bearing had shifted, and he looked a lot more serious. He wasn't shaking anymore. "Put that on and fire One For All off at me."

I opened my inventory and dragged the costume case over to my equipment screen. Just like I'd hoped, it autoequipped my costume for me, and it even put on a little button that looked like it would let me autodequip my costume and pack it back up for me (hopefully returning my original clothes with it). I'd have to check if it actually did that, but it was cool nonetheless. My hero costume appeared on my body with a rush of air. I stretched, checking the changes to the outfit. It looked mostly the same, but I could already feel that it was easier to move around in than my old costume.

"How'd you do that?" Torino asked.

"Did you get any information about my Quirk?" I asked him.

"It's called The Gamer and it gives you powers like a video game character, specifically an RPG."

I nodded. "I have an inventory power, which is what I used to get those paper towels for you. It also has an equipment menu, and I just equipped my hero costume."

"That makes sense, I suppose." He got into a fighting stance. "Now hit me with your best shot. One For All only."

"Um... Can I do something first? If I throw a blast of One For All, it'll probably cause property damage."

"What is it?"

"I have a spell that... It's a little hard to explain but basically I can use it to let us do as destructive training we want without worrying about property damage, by basically putting us in a temporary pocket dimension."

He nodded. "Do that, then."

I placed my hand on his shoulder and dragged us both into an Illusion Barrier. Then I turned around and punched at the door. "LIMIT BREAK!" I shouted as the blastwave wrecked most of that wall, as well as the street and the building on the other side. "I am very glad I used Illusion Barrier," I said as I shook off my hand. It didn't hurt too bad, but after using One For All at 100% it was a little tingly.

"Well there's your problem, kid," Torino said. "Well, I can see another thing that you should be mindful of, too, but you've got one main problem. I know a bit about video games, you know. Watched a few YouTube videos on some RPGs when I decided to take you on, too. Plus I watched your performance in the sports festival as well. You're thinking about One For All like a limited resource or a super meter to draw on when you need a big attack, but that ain't just what it is. Think about how Toshinori uses One For All, I'm sure you've seen him use it before."

I nodded and put some ideas about what he meant in the text chat for the past bearers to give their thoughts on. "I think I get what you're suggesting."

"Good." To my surprise he jumped around the rest of the room, zooming between the floor, three remaining walls, and even ceiling. He landed on a nearby table, breaking it, and grinned at me. "You wanna put it into practice?" He pulled out a stopwatch. "You have three minutes to land a single hit on me, using only One For All. Starting now." He clicked it and started jumping around again. He was using his Quirk, Jet, which let him shoot powerful jets of air from the bottoms of his feet. He darted in for a punch, and I dodged backwards, tapping into One For All. Really, it was so obvious that I would've hit myself if I had time. It was basically what I did for Elemental Aura already, just using One For All instead of elemental magic. I felt a feeling like lightning running all over my body as I jumped. I sailed clear out the hole that was the broken fourth wall, still keeping my eyes on him.

He bounced a few more times before shooting straight at me. I stood my ground, concentrating more One For All in my arm. When he was close enough that I was hoping he couldn't dodge the attack, I punched in his direction. It was a textbook Texas Smash, sending a powerful shockwave in Gran Torino's direction, but he managed to dodge to the side with his Quirk. He shot at me again, but I dodged out of the way first. "I see what you did," he noted. "You saw me bouncing around the room with blinding speed and decided to get me out in the open, where maybe I'd be a bit slower." He grinned. "Changing the environment to your advantage or your opponent's disadvantage. Good. Just remember that it might not always work. After all, you're the one on a time-"

I didn't let him finish that, trying to blindside him by charging at him while he was still monologuing. He still managed to shoot upwards before I hit him, but I had anticipated that and used Weird Flex (that might have been cheating slightly, but it was less of a magical or Quirk-related skill and more of a literal skill that just happened to get enhanced by The Gamer, like Sword Mastery) to pivot so that I could push off the ground with my hands. The ground cracked with the force that I used pushing off of it, and I shot into Gran Torino foot-first. He grunted, stunned, and I punched off the air a few times to get on the opposite side of him so I could catch him before we hit the ground.

Your level has increased by one!

I was already pretty close to a level up before that fight, so even though it wasn't much of a fight the EXP was still enough to level me up.

"Sorry if that was a little too hard," I said when we landed, then pulled out my Quirk healer license. "I can heal you, if you're hurt."

He grunted, got up, and rubbed his stomach. "Thanks, kid." He chuckled. "You really showed a lot of promise there, kid," he said as I healed him. "It only took me a little prodding to correct how you use your Quirk."

I smiled. "Yeah, and we didn't even touch on my other Quirks."

He raised his eyebrow. "'Other Quirks?' Plural?"

"Sorry, did Yagi-sensei not mention that?" I asked. I raised my hand, switching Skeletal in. Oof, my costume wasn't looking too good after that giant blast... I was already going to use Mending after my demonstration, but still... I tensed my arm, activating Skeletal. White armor calcified along my hand and forearm, forming something like a gauntlet that destroyed the remains of that sleeve and glove. "The Gamer evolved the ability to copy Quirks during the sports festival. I got the Quirks of the past bearers, as well as a few others, as quest rewards from a quest related to the sports festival." I deactivated Skeletal, causing the bone armor to retract back into my skin, and fixed my costume with Mending.

"Well, practice with those new Quirks of yours for now." His demeanor lightened. "I'm gonna go get us some food!" He walked away.

"Um... Let's go inside first so I can drop the Illusion Barrier first?" I suggested. "I don't think I'm allowed to just drop us out of a pocket dimension in the middle of the street."

He looked at the carnage we'd made, then around at the lack of people on the street, and chuckled. "That sounds about right. No use scaring the civilians." We walked back inside. "Who are you, again?"

I broke the barrier. "Midoriya. Should I just practice with my Quirks and magic until you're back?"

"Sure. But who are you, though?"

I sighed. "Just go, please."

"Goodbye, Toshinori!" He said with a smile as he walked out the door.

"Goodbye," I said. The second the door closed I activated another Illusion Barrier, leaving my elementals on the other side so I would know when he came back. I'd recently gotten a new setting for Illusion Barrier, but I decided against using it quite yet and just made another skeleton barrier. "Practice with my Quirks. Got it." I activated One For All again, getting that electrical feeling again. It reminded me of using Lightning Aura, actually. Which made sense, given how close what I was doing was to Elemental Aura.

That gave me an idea, but first...

I jumped, putting all of my strength into it. I immediately regretted that, as using One For All's full power to jump seemed like it was slightly overkill seeing how high I flew. Luckily I had I Burn on, so I'd absorbed all the energy from how hard I hit the ceiling, an impact hard enough that I lost some HP from it even with my Physical Endurance and Damage Reduction. And then I absorbed the negligible amount of energy I got from punching through a cloud a moment later. Speaking of which, I looked at the building...s I just destroyed from the giant hole in the cloud I was above. It was so far away that even with Hawkeye I could just barely see the largest chunks. I didn't actually expect it to work, so I was pleasantly surprised when I felt them when I reached out with Singularity. "The range it has is ridiculous, if it can do that," I muttered. I yanked, pulling those chunks upwards. "It doesn't even feel like I'm straining it..." I did notice my regeneration dropping a few points as I pulled the chunks up to me, but it was amazing how much power I got out of Singularity.

I turned off Singularity as I dropped below the cloud headfirst, switching to grabbing the chunks that had just flown past me and into the clouds with Blackwhip. I made a barrier enchanted with Immovable Object above my feet and braced on it to stop the building chunks. I strained at their momentum for a second, then jumped with half the power I had used before once the pull from the chunks abated. As I hurtled downwards I looked around the town I was above. I saw a few important landmarks: a tower, a square with a fountain, an important-looking building that could've been town hall, and the train station I'd arrived at. I double-checked that I was still in the Illusion Barrier, because this would be really bad otherwise...

I raised the amount of One For All I was using and swung my hands, trying to hit the four targets with the building pieces I was carrying with Blackwhip. My aim was a little off, but considering the fact that I was throwing around giant chunks of rubble I was fine with the result. Plus, they had all ended up crushing some skeletons that had spawned. I'd read in an article of tips for heroes Yagi-sensei had shared in one of his classes that in general a hero should try to not throw stuff at people if they can avoid it because they can typically hit harder than whatever they can pick up and it lowers property damage in general, so while that was fun I wasn't planning on making a habit of throwing buildings at people.

I let myself fall after that. I'd lost some of my momentum when I'd thrown the buildings, but I was still coming in fast. I could probably just use Float to stop falling, but I decided to try to tank the landing instead. It'd be great for I Burn, for one. I switched in Skeletal, giving myself some extra armor over the areas that I'd be landing on, and used Earth Aura to provide some shock absorption. I landed in a textbook three-point landing in the middle of a throng of skeletons, triggering an OFA-overpowered Earth Burst as I did that basically caused a miniature earthquake.

"Ow," I said despite the fact that it only took off a small bit of health that I gained back almost immediately. "Deadpool was right, those are hard on the knees..." I got up, turning Skeletal off and Mending my shredded costume again. I was standing in the middle of a crater with giant cracks radiating from it. I noticed dust pouring into one of the cracks. "Hello," I said as the skeletal samurai spawned. "It's nice to see you again." I could've probably just flicked it to death with One For All, but I decided against that.

The skeleton charged and swung at me, but I blocked it with Skeletal armor. I trapped the sword as I glanced off my armor by forming spikes of bone around it, then switched in Magnetize without switching Skeletal, Copy, or I Burn out. I could feel that the efficiency dropped when I used Magnetize on the sword, but not as much as the last time I tried it. After Magnetizing the sword, I slapped the skeleton's armor, giving it a dose of Magnetize too, and pressed the sword to it. I snickered when the skeleton tried futilely to pry the sword off of its armor, even though Magnetize wasn't as strong as it could've been.

It glared at me, despite not having any eyebrows. I somehow got the message that it wanted me to take our fight seriously.

"Okay, sorry." I put the palm of my hand up to its chest. "I'll take this seriously now." I switched out Magnetize and Copy for Explosion. I had an idea I wanted to test, so I created a hole in the bone armor on my palm for Explosion to work. I gave my hand a bit more One For All than the rest of my body and triggered a blast. I was forced to take a step back from the recoil as an explosion like a shaped charge blasted a hole through the skeleton's armor. It was armor-piercing, sure, but just like when I tried chopping bits off of the other skeletal samurai it only shaved off some HP.

"I guess sometimes finesse just doesn't compare to brute force," I muttered. True, I could've taken it down with hits like that, but it would take way longer than just encasing it in ice with Half-Cold Half-Hot and throwing it into a building with Blackwhip, which I did. This time the skeleton didn't drop anything, which hopefully wasn't because I encased it in ice before killing it.

I got a message from my elementals that Gran Torino came back, so I went back to his house in about a second using Sonic Embodiment. I placed myself about where I thought the floor was before I turned it into a crater, then dropped my Illusion Barrier. Thankfully, dropping out of Illusion Barrier in a position where something was there in the real world didn't do damage to anything and just caused the two objects to move if possible until they weren't inside each other, so even though my aim was off and my feet were clipping through the floor I just shot up until I was standing.

"Ah!" Gran Torino, who was carrying some grocery bags, shouted when I appeared out of nowhere. "...Who are you, again?"

"Sorry for startling you, Torino-sensei," I said. "I decided to train in my Illusion Barrier, which was a good call because the first thing I did wrecked this building."

"That's nice, whoever you are." He yawned. "I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed after I put these away."

"Oh, I thought you'd want to spar some more..." I said.

He handed me a bag full of packages of frozen taiyaki. "That's nice, kid. Wanna help me put away the groceries?"

"...Did you only buy taiyaki?" I asked. Observe told me the other grocery bags only had taiyaki in them, too... It was a good thing The Gamer meant I didn't need to eat, I guess...

"Don't be silly, Toshinori!" he said with a goofy grin, then produced a lollipop. "I got this for you, young man!"

I took the lollipop. "Thanks, I guess..." I put it in my mouth. It was green apple, not my favorite flavor but at the same time it wasn't my least favorite flavor. He probably picked it because of my hair... I checked the fridge when I put the taiyaki in the freezer. He had a wide variety of food, a lot of it healthy but also a lot of sweets, too. I guess he just really felt like getting taiyaki. I felt his gaze on me while I checked the fridge. Maybe he was testing me by showing fake signs that he was senile?

"Good night," I told him when we were done putting the taiyaki in the freezer. "I think I'll train a bit more before I turn in for the night. I'll try not to stay up too late, though." That was kind of a lie, but one could argue that because The Gamer made it so I didn't have to sleep I technically couldn't stay up to late...

"Good night, Toshinori," he said with a grin.

xoxoxo

A/N: So yeah Midoriya already has experience enhancing his entire body at once with magical energies, so I figured we could skip the whole "I'm a taiyaki" bit and get straight to the Full Cowl with only some light scolding to jumpstart him.

Elemental list: Midoriya: Halitus, Dune, Rayne, Blaise, Juniper, Mifuyu, Raimon, Iggy, Sonia, and Claude Bakugou: Pyra and Leaf Tokoyami: Corvo Uraraka: Nebula and Ion Hagakure: Lucy Tsu: Bubbles Aizawa: Charlie and Cassiopeia All Might: Seth O'Scope