#and we were just given a check with the word thousand on it
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Boyf's parents gave us a Large Sum of money for Christmas and I had a panic attack about it
#christmas#i grew up poor apparently#and he is like#upper middle class#and i thought we were upper middle class when i was a kid!#but i got like max $20 in my cards#and we were just given a check with the word thousand on it#i actually experienced such shock that i have a fever now#generational wealth makes me so mad
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Stuck
In which reader finds herself stuck in an elevator with her colleagues.
Pairing: Hotch x Reid x Morgan x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: smut (18+) Content warnings: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), face riding, p in v sex, overstimulation, masturbation, breast play Word count: 5,4k A/n: I'm ovulating, so you know what time it is 🤭 I'm really nervous to post this, so I hope you will enjoy!
“Oh, you guys are such babies!” You laugh as Spencer and Derek refuse to step into the elevator, explaining how they’ve been stuck in one before.
“It’s not funny, Y/N,” Spencer chimes in. “There are six elevator deaths per year. Not to mention ten thousand injuries that require hospitalization.”
You roll your eyes at his comment, just as Hotch walks toward the elevator. “See!” You exclaim. “Hotch is joining us, and he saved you last time. We’ll be fine.” You add cheerfully.
“You’re coming?” Hotch asks, holding the elevator door open. You nod, pulling Morgan and Reid with you by their arms.
You chuckle at their nervous reflections in the mirror as the elevator starts moving. A sudden creak causes Derek to snap his head towards you. “It made the same sound the last time!” You were just about to shut Derek up as the elevator shakes and the lights start flickering.
“Not again!” Spencer whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut like he’s about to fall to his death at any given moment.
Hotch inspects the tight space, his expression grim. “It seems like the electricity went out…”
“Actually, there are a lot of reasons why an elevator might stop,” Spencer interjects. “It could be worn-out suspension ropes, and it actually happens quite regularly that the motor overheats the safety sensors of the-“
“Let’s just solve this problem, shall we?” You cut him off, nudging Morgan out of the way to hit the red button on the panel.
“You think that’ll do something?” Morgan asks, brow lifted.
“It will alert someone that we’re stuck. We have to wait until somebody comes and gets us out of here.” Hotch adds.
“Well at least I’ll be missing my meeting with Strauss,” I sigh in relief.
“It was at twelve, right?” Spencer asks.
“Yeah,” you respond with a nod.
“Statistically the average wait time to be rescued from an elevator is less than an hour,” Spencer continues, checking his watch. “That means you could still make it in time.”
“Now that’s just what I wanted to hear,” you say sarcastically, earning a grin from Morgan.
“We can only hope we won’t be in here for that long,” Hotch mutters, his impatience visible as he leans uncomfortably against the elevator doors.
“Okay… so now what? Want to go over a case to pass the time?”
“No, no cases please,” Morgan groans. “We’ve had three in a row. I’m done.”
“Morgan is right. We’ve done enough cases in the past few days.” Hotch agrees.
You mutter an “alright” as you sit down with your back against the elevator wall, smoothing out the crinkles in your skirt. The others look at you with uncertainty. Eventually Reid decides to sit next to you, exchanging a soft smile. Morgan follows suit, sitting in front of you. Hotch remains standing. You leave him be and turn to Spencer.
“So Reid, I’m sure you’ve got enough interesting facts to pass the time.”
Spencer looks surprised by the request, not used to directly being asked to share his facts, but his eyes quickly brighten, eager to share. “Well, actually, there are a lot of interesting things to say about elevators. There are approximately 20 million elevators worldwide,” you chuckle at his obvious enthusiasm. “The first elevator was created in 236 B.C. by Archimedes, a Greek mathematician. He used a water wheel and tied animals together with rope to create a lift mechanism.” You hum in interest. “They used lifts in the Colosseum, right?”
“Yes! Exactly!” he responds excitedly. “The system was powered by eight men who would turn this massive wooden shaft connected to ropes. It could hold more than 600 pounds!”
“Oh come on,” Derek says, his hand falling to his knee. “You’re telling me you’re actually interested in the mechanics of ancient elevators?”.
Hotch glances at Morgan, silently agreeing with Derek’s skepticism.
“Derek Morgan…” you feign offense, placing a hand on your chest. “Don’t act like I’m not curious about knowledge. At least Spence’s got something interesting to say.”
Spencer blushes faintly, appreciating your defense.
“Hey, I know facts too,” Morgan says smugly. “How about there being 7000 languages in the world today.”
“The overall number is actually closer to 8000,” Spencer corrects him. “You only counted verbal communication.”
“You guys are going to have a facts competition now?” You ask, bewildered. “It’s way too hot in here. I need some light conversation.”
“I agree,” Hotch mutters. “It is getting a little warm.”
You glance up at the AC in the corner of the elevator, which is clearly not working. It probably shut down along with the power. There’s a brief silence before Reid speaks up again.
“I never thought I’d be trapped in an elevator with my colleagues,” he muses. “It’s a little cliché.”
“Cliche, how?” Hotch asks, intrigued despite himself.
“You know how, in movies, a group of people get stuck in an elevator and they have to learn to overcome their differences to escape?”
You shake your head in confusion, “I think I only know the dirty movies where they get stuck in an elevator,” you laugh.
Spencer blinks at you, clearly thrown off. Derek chuckles at the scene, and even Hotch manages a faint smile.
“I should’ve known you’ve only watched the dirty ones,” Derek teases.
“What about you, pretty boy? Ever seen a dirty movie?” He asks Spencer, grinning.
Reid looks flustered. “I grew up in Vegas… I’ve seen some things.”
“Ah, Vegas,” you say, sighing dreamily. “The place where you can’t drive for a minute without seeing a giant porn billboard.”
Morgan grins, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Sounds like my kind of place.”
You laugh and kick his leg playfully. Morgan winks at you, enjoying the lighthearted banter. You glance up at Hotch, who is still the only one standing.
“What about you, Hotch? What’s your favorite dirty movie?” You ask with a mischievous grin, but your expression quickly drops when you see his stern look.
“Watch it, Y/L/N.” Hotch warns.
“Come on, Hotch,” Derek says. “Let loose a little!”
“See it as the universe’s sign.” I press on.
“How is being stuck in here a sign of the universe?” Hotch asks, brows raised.
“Well, no way would you willingly take a break yourself. Now the universe got you stuck in here and is forcing you to relax,” you explain, with a playful gleam in your eyes.
To everyone’s surprise, he slowly lowers himself to the floor, sitting down next to you.
You exchange surprised looks with Derek and Spencer. All amazed at how you managed to get Hotch to sit down.
The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence, scared to say something that will make Hotch change his mind. You’re glad he joined you, but it’s hard to ignore the rising temperature now that another person is sitting in close proximity to you.
“How long has it been?” you ask, fanning yourself with your blazer. “I’m starting to sweat.”
“Thirty-five minutes so far,” Derek replies, following your lead and fanning himself.
Hotch looks mildly uncomfortable, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Spencer, however, looks the most miserable using the collar of his sweater vest to wipe his face.
“You guys should take your jackets off,” you suggest, eyeing Morgan and Hotch.
You don’t need to tell Derek twice, as he removes his jacket, revealing a black short sleeved shirt that looks a lot more comfortable. Hotch looks reluctant to do the same, but eventually gives in, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar. You take a peak as he reveals his broad, muscled shoulders for a moment, before readjusting his shirt. Hotch notices your glance and his eyes shoot up to yours, catching you in the moment as your cheeks flush. You quickly look away.
“Oh, she’s enjoying the view, alright,” Derek smirks and you give him a warning glance.
“Shut up. I was just surprised Hotch would give in.”
Morgan grins and nudges Hotch with his elbow, “Look at that, Hotch. You’re surprising us all today. First you smile and now you’re taking your jacket off. What’s next, dancing a jig?” You and Spencer snort at his comment. Hotch rolls his eyes at Morgan’s teasing but can’t help a small smile from appearing on his lips.
Spencer struggles with his vest and you give him a hand. “Here, let me help you”, you say as you scoot closer, pulling the vest over his head. The fabric feels soft, but incredibly warm in your hands. You don’t know how he managed to keep it on for this long. Reid is taken aback for a moment, but mutters a soft thanks. Morgan and Hotch watch the exchange with interest, clearly amused at the sight of you being so forward with Reid.
“Now it’s your turn, you’re the one who insisted,” Morgan states, and you can’t help but agree as you take your blazer off, giving a satisfied hum at the immediate relief.
“I’ll open up some buttons too, if you don’t mind,” you announce as your fingers start working on your blouse. You don’t give them a chance to respond, since it seems only fair. Their eyes widen at your gesture, all of them staring at the sight of your blouse slightly opening up. Morgan lets out a low whistle, “Now that’s a nice view.”
“You’re insufferable,” you scoff as you stop unbuttoning, showing just a hint of your lacy bra. Morgan’s eyes linger on the sight, clearly enjoying the view. Hotch and Reid look like they’re struggling to keep their cool. Reid is the most flustered of all, turning bright red as he focuses on his hands. Morgan glances around at the others, seeing them struggle to keep themselves composed.
He chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying the effect you’re having on them. “You know, you’re driving all of us a little crazy here, sweetheart.”
You let out a small huff, “Give me a break. You’re wearing shortsleeves, I’m the one wearing a blouse.”
Hotch speaks up, his gaze lingering on your blouse. “That blouse does seem a bit warm.”
“Thank you!” You say, glad someone is on your side.
Hotch eyes stay focused on you though, or specifically the bit of exposed collarbone and the lace that’s hugged around the swell of your breast. Your breathing heaves when you find Spencer taking occasional peaks as well, watching with a mixture of awe and embarrassment, finding difficulty in looking away.
“Let’s just all take our shirts off, I want it to be fair”, you quickly exclaim, done with the heavy tension that’s driving you crazy. Hotch and Morgan exchange amused glances as Spencer eyes turn big, taking in your proposal.
“All our shirts, are you sure about that?” Derek asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.
“Then at least you won’t eye me like that.”
“Oh, I think I’ll eye you only more.” Derek teases, licking his lips.
“Just take your damn shirt off.”
Derek chuckles and raises his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.” He says as he lifts his shirt off in a smooth motion. It’s a known fact that Derek is jacked, but seeing him in a setting like this, abs glistening with sweat and pupils still dilated from looking at you, is on a whole ‘nother level.
You’re glad the attention is taken away from your peering eyes as Hotch follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a clearly defined muscular chest with just a hint of hair. You start doubting your suggestion as it feels like the room is only growing hotter. You look over at Spencer, seeing whether he’ll be the next. Spencer hesitates for a moment, his eyes darting between the other’s bare chests and your unbuttoned blouse. His chest heaving with his breath, suggesting that he’s more affected than he’s letting on.
“Come on, pretty boy. Join the party.” Derek says.
“I’ll go first,” you assure Spencer, not wanting him to suffer under peer pressure. Your hands start working on the buttons. Spencer’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him.
“See, it’s not that hard,” you reassure Spencer, folding your blouse and placing it next to you.
“I don’t know about that. You’re making things pretty hard, baby girl.” Morgan comments, making you laugh.
“You’re way too dirty for your own good.”
Morgan grins. “Can you blame me? I mean, look at you. You’re looking mighty tempting right now.”
You softly smile at the compliment and focus back on Spencer. “You’ll feel a lot cooler, I promise,” you encourage.
“I don’t know. I’m not as… toned as the others.” It hurts you to hear how he’s comparing himself to his colleagues.
“Do you truly think I care about that?” You ask him. “It’s not a competition. I just want you to feel comfortable,” you speak genuinely. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of mockery or deception. When he finds none, his face softens and he nods. He lifts his shirt over his head, revealing a body no less impressive than the others.
“Not too bad, pretty boy. You’re looking pretty good without that vest on.” Derek compliments.
“You do,” You agree, as you fold his shirt and place it on top of my blouse. Spencer gives you a sheepish smile, grateful for your help. Glad he decided to take his shirt off as he felt the cool air hit his chest, “Yeah, that does feel better.”
You look around the room, the scene for sure one to be put down in the history books of the BAU. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve entered a new step in our colleague bonding,” you awkwardly chuckle, trying to lighten the mood but the air feels charged with an unspoken tension that’s impossible to ignore. You can feel their eyes on you, the way they linger, the weight of their gazes following your every movement. You try to ignore it, to stay professional, but your body betrays you. You shift slightly, adjusting your skirt, and that’s when you feel it - the subtle brush of Hotch’s fingers caressing your arm.
You swallow hard as you look away. The air around you is suddenly too tight. You want to curse your body as your nipples harden under his steady gaze, there being no way to blame it on the cold. Derek notices the exchange and leans in, the heat between you two palpable.
His voice is low and husky, “You're all worked up, sweetheart. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.”
Your pulse quickens, the sound of your heartbeat almost drowning out his words. “I’m not the only one,” you counter, voice quieter, but the challenge in it is unmistakable. You feel Spencer shift next to you, his body tense as he feels like he’s been caught staring at your chest. “Don’t be shy, genius,” Derek teases. “We’re all thinking the same thing right now.” You can’t help but smile at Spencer’s flustered look. “It’s… It’s hard not to, when you-” He cuts himself off, his voice faltering as his eyes dart away from your breasts.
Hotch is still standing by the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watches the dynamic play out. “We’ve been stuck in here long enough. I think it’s safe to say we all want and feel the same thing.” The air thickens with desire as he dares to say the thought that’s been occupying everyone’s mind. You glance at the others, seeing how Spencer is adjusting himself in his pants and the way Derek is watching you, his gaze so intense it almost feels like he’s touching you.
“Guess it’s only fair if we all just… give in to it,” you murmur, your eyes flicking between them. The suggestion is there, unspoken but understood.
From there on everything feels like a blur. You hear Hotch growl behind you as he wraps his bicep around your neck, pulling you in as his lips crash against yours. You whimper against his mouth, which gives him the opportunity to let his tongue slide in. You welcome his tongue with yours as your hand moves to squeeze the arm around your neck, making full use of the circumstances to feel up on his muscles.
“You’re always driving me crazy when wearing this skirt,” Hotch groans in your ear as his teeth pull on your earlobe. You can find no other way to respond than let out a high pitched sound of enjoyment as his free hand kneads your ass through your pencil skirt. Spencer watches the scene unfold in front of him. How his boss roughly grabs and kisses you, manhandling you.
“I- I don’t know about this…” Spencer stammers.
Morgan turns to him, breaking the intense gaze he had on you and Hotch. “Don’t worry Reid, she’s enjoying it.”
“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, uncertainty in his voice as Hotch is pulling on your hair, giving him access to plant kisses and bites on your neck.
Morgan grins, “Let me show you how sure I am,” he says as he steps towards you and Hotch. He rolls your skirt up to your stomach and lets his fingers slide over your panties, cursing when it easily slips between your folds, creating a wet sound. You moan at the friction, not in the state to feel embarrassed by how wet you are.
“See Reid, she loves it,” Derek points out, licking his lips as he pulls your damp panties to the side. Spencer lets out a groan as Derek reveals your glistening pussy, his hand subconsciously squeezing the bulge in his pants for any form of release.
“Let me see,” Hotch insists, removing his lips from your neck. Derek slides a finger through your folds and proudly displays the stickiness to Hotch.
“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?,” Hotch whispers, his nose pressed against the side of your face. “Just been begging to get in a situation like this so we could all fuck you the way you deserve.” You whimper at his dirty words and hot breath on your skin. Your legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself against your ass. Derek continues to apply pressure with his hand as he lets his fingers rub up and down your lips and clit.
Spencer’s eyes are burning holes in your chest. He just can’t understand how no one has touched your lovely tits, while they’ve been teasing him the entire time.
“You can come here Spence,” you purr, hypnotizing him to walk towards you. He swallows as he’s close enough to touch you, close enough to hear all the little sounds you’re making as you’re being touched all over.
“Can I-?” You don’t let Spencer finish his question as you quickly nod, throwing your head back as his finger grazes over your nipple, sending a direct spark of pleasure to your clit.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers mostly to himself in awe as he cups your breast, the shape fitting perfectly in his large hand.
“Thank you,” you whisper back. It’s ironic how his sweet compliment is the thing that's making you shy.
Derek slips a finger inside of you with ease, and you bite your lip to hold back your mewls. “Don’t do that. I like the way you sound.” Spencer encourages, resulting in another moan from you, loving the effect his words have on you.
Hotch unclasps your bra from behind and Spencer helps him by pulling your straps down, letting your breasts fall free. Hotch grabs your left breast, kneading it with his strong, calloused hands as he rolls your nipple in between his fingers. Spencer uses the momentary distraction to bend down and experimentally licks your nipple, humming at the sensation. He gives a couple more licks to your breast as he pulls your nipple in between his lips, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue against the sensitive bud.
You feel overwhelmed by the way all of your erogenous zones are stimulated at once; Hotch licking and biting on your neck and ear, while massaging your breast and grinding his hardness against your ass. Spencer’s swollen lips and wet tongue tracing over your nipple as Derek caresses your thighs as he adds a second finger into your pussy. You realize that this is what pleasure is supposed to be like. The zones on your body are all connected and you haven’t experienced true bliss until those spots get triggered at the same time.
“Morgan, is she ready?” Hotch asks, breathing heavily.
“More than ready, sir,” Derek grins as he takes a step back. He lets his fingers slide out of you, making you whimper at the loss of contact, but then Hotch turns you around so that your chest is pressed up against the elevator doors where he was standing.
“I need you for myself,” he groans. Derek tosses a condom from his jeans and Hotch catches it, ripping the package with his teeth while pulling his trousers down to his knees, not wanting to let a single moment go to waste. Your hands are pressed against the wall as he slowly enters you.
“Oh my god… I feel so full,” you whine and you swear you could feel him grin as you register that he’s not even fully inside of you. You let out a long breath as you feel his balls make contact with your ass.
“You’re doing okay there, princess?” Derek chuckles and you nod. Hotch slowly moves his length out of you as he slams his hips back in with a groan. You gasp as you wrap your hand around the back of his head, keeping yourself steady as he continues thrusting into you. His growls feel hot against your neck. His sweaty chest pressed up against your back, leaving you completely in his grasp.
“You feel that angel? How your pussy swallows my cock?” You let out a cry as you nod your head in agreement.
“I don’t understand Y/N. You’re a big girl, use your words.”
“Oh god…’’ Your head spins as he pounds into you. “I’m not going to tell you again Y/N, use your words.” He orders.
“Yes!’’ you cry out. ‘’God yes Aaron, it feels so good. I can feel you so deep inside of me.”
“Say my name again.” He moans as his hand trails down your stomach until it reaches your swollen bud. “Aaron, please… I’m so, so close.” He gives some quick taps to your clit, making you squirm in pleasure as your knees give out. His strong hands grip you by the waist and he hoists you back up on his dick. “I’m almost there honey, you can keep it up, be good for me.”
You let out a string of whines as he uses the palm of his hand to swiftly move against your folds, indirectly bringing pleasure to your clit. You can’t take it any more, pressing your nails into his arms as you crouch down in front of him, shaking as your release hits you. Hotch groans loudly as his dick slips out of your pussy. His dick twitches as he takes off the condom, painting your back with hot spurts of cum.
You have your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as you’re still riding down your orgasm. You hum as you feel the soft material of Spencer’s sweater vest against your back, cleaning you up.
“You okay?” Spencer asks, kneeled in front of you. You nod your head and softly smile at his tenderness.
“Yeah. I feel really, really good.” You answer, making Spencer return your smile. With him in front of you, you notice the visible outline of his bulge pressed against his thigh and reach out to touch it. Your fingers lightly brush over his length, causing him to shudder.
“Do you want me to take care of you?” You ask sensually, looking in his eyes.
“Not really,” he responds, taking you by surprise. He sees your expression and quickly corrects himself. “It’s not like I don’t want you to! I’d- I’d love you to do…”, he’s not actually sure what you planned on doing to him. “Whatever you would do. I just-,” his voice softens, meeting your gaze. “I really need to know what you taste like.”
Your cheeks warm, feeling your arousal grow. “Okay,” you exhale. Spencer extends his hand, helping you up. You find your blazer and bundle it up for Spencer to lay his head on. You’re amazed at how willing he is to get down on the floor, ready to eat you out in a very nontraditional and arguable unsanitized way. You hover over his face as you get down on your knees, letting out a hum as his breath tingles your pussy. Spencer kneads your calves and runs his hands up the back of your thighs. He tilts his head up, placing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.
“Feels good,” you mumble. Spencer responds with a hum against your skin, the vibration causing you to moan. He grabs your thighs, slowly pulling them further apart. “I can’t wait to taste you,” he admits, sticking out his tongue and licking a stripe up your folds. You moan, arching your back. Through hooded eyes you spot the figure of Hotch. He’s sitting against the wall in front of you, lazily stroking his half hard length as he stares at you.
Just when you were about to question where Morgan was, you catch him in your periphery. He holds your gaze as he approaches, coming to a stop right in front of you. His belt buckle hangs open, but it doesn’t look like he’s touched himself.
“If you don’t mind, I’d really like to take up on that offer genius here denied.” You grin at him, hands reaching out to his belt. Spencer is keeping himself busy, licking and sucking up your juices. You pull Derek’s pants down, gasping as his dick springs free, slapping against his happy trail. You groan in delight as you wrap your hand around his shaft. He tilts his head back at the contact. “Fuck baby, your hands feel so warm and soft.” You lean forward and let some of your spit dribble down on his dick, making him hiss. You move your thumb in circles over his tip, mixing your saliva with his precum. When it feels like it’s wet enough, you move your hand up and down his length in a steady motion.
His tip grows red and you cannot resist licking your lips before putting your mouth on him. He feels heavy in your mouth as you take him in deeper, stimulating him with your tongue as you suck. His hands tangle in your hair, holding you as he moves in sync with your movements.
Spencer moves a hand up the curve of your ass while he uses the other to unbuckle his belt. He slides his hand in his pants, rubbing himself over his boxers as he relishes in your taste. His lips nibble on your labia as his nose tickles against your clit.
“Don’t get distracted, baby girl,” Derek states, softly pushing your head back down. You swallow around him and try to up your pace. Derek takes your breast in his hand, massaging it. As your nipples harden he takes one in between his fingers, pulling on it. You gasp at the sensation, making his dick slide deeper down your throat.
“Fuck! Right there baby, that feels so good,” he pants. You blink away tears, continuing the steady movement of your head and swirls of your tongue.
Spencer’s dick starts feeling too hot in his boxers and he pulls it out, so that it lays against his stomach. Your pussy is absolutely dripping because of the swipes of Spencer’s tongue and the taste of Derek in your mouth. Spencer can’t keep up with licking you clean, your wetness dripping down his chin. He reaches out to grab his length, the skin to skin contact overstimulating him.
You notice Spencer getting restless underneath you. Derek’s dick pops out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Spence?” You ask. He hums against your clit in response, you let out a high pitched moan and instinctively bend your knees. “Sorry,” you apologize as you want to tilt your hips back up, but Spencer pulls you back down by your thighs, making you sit on his face.
“Oh god…” You moan as he starts devouring you. He keeps a hand firm on your ass as he starts jerking himself off to the beautiful sounds that you’re making. You lazily tug on Derek’s cock, too distracted by Spencer’s tongue.
“Oh Spencer, I’m going to cum,” you whimper, mouth open and brows furrowed in pleasure. You start grinding yourself on his tongue, seeking your release. You find the perfect spot and Spencer presses the tip of his tongue against your clit, as you fall undone. Spencer laps up your juices and squeezes the load out of his dick as it splatters on his belly. You lift your hips to give Spencer some space. He moves away, joining you on his knees as he sits behind you, pressing featherlight kisses to your back.
“I’m not gonna last that much longer,” Derek announces, who’s been stroking himself to your orgasm. “Come here, then,” you invite as you take him back in your mouth. Placing a hand on his thigh for support, you use all of the energy that is left in you to suck him off. Your free hand reaches out to play with his balls, which seems to be the trigger for him.
“Fuck, Y/N, baby, I’m going to cum!” He groans deeply as he fills your mouth. You quickly swallow his load, eyes watering as he pulls you in by your head, needing your lips on him as he rides out the aftershocks.
“Fuck… You’re amazing, sweetheart.” He sighs, letting go of your hair so that you can catch your breath.
-
“Who the hell is in there?”
The voice outside is sharp and gruff. Everyone’s heads whip around, startled. Hotch swiftly buckles his belt as he strides towards the elevator doors.
“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU. I’m stuck here with three of my agents.”
The voice responds quickly, dripping with disbelief. "Why didn’t you morons use the emergency button?"
Your colleagues look at each other, then shift their gaze to you, all with accusing looks plastered on their faces.
"Hey, don’t look at me! I’m the first one that pressed the red button!" You say in defense.
The voice outside huffs in frustration. "Red? It's a black button."
You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to the panel. You crawl up to get a better look, and sure enough, there's a black button, boldly labeled ‘EMERGENCY.’
"What in the world?" you mutter under your breath. "Then what the hell is the red button for?!"
The voice outside laughs sarcastically. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I’ve been working here for six months. Don’t blame me because you can’t read." He pauses, clearly shaking his head. "FBI agents, my ass."
You blink in disbelief. You share an incredulous glance with Derek, then burst out laughing, your frustration giving way to amusement. "Seriously?" you mutter, shaking your head.
Derek notices how Spencer’s been unusually quiet. “Speak up, kid,” he urged.
“I’ve known what the buttons do the entire time,” he says, voice casual.
You and Hotch both turn to look at him, eyes wide. “What?!” You both exclaim at the same time.
Spencer shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you about those movies where people overcome their differences to try to escape. I wanted to see how we would solve it.”
Derek’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time knowing exactly what to do and didn’t say anything?!”
Spencer smiles, looking almost proud of himself. “It’s a team-building exercise,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it.”
You shake your head, laughing in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Reid.”
As if on cue, the elevator jolts, and the soft ding of the doors opening fills the space.
#spencer reid x you#aaron hotchner x you#derek morgan x you#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid smut#aaron hotchner smut#derek morgan smut#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#derek morgan x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader smut#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#derek morgan x y/n#aaron hotchner x y/n#spencer reid x oc
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Mrs Norris
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: suggestive
It was the first time in your career that you walked as a Victoria Secret Angel and you couldn't be more proud and grateful for the opportunity that was given to you. All the work and effort over the years paid off and you were finally able to check off one more thing on your wish list.
This was such a special moment for you, you were so excited to walk the runway with your wings and the fact that you knew your husband would be in the audience supporting you made that moment even special.
Lando took a private plane to NYC directly from his business commitments to support his wife and be her biggest fan. You weren't sure how he would fit it into his busy schedule, but one thing you were sure of was that he would be there. You were sure he would find a way because you knew he wouldn't miss it for anything.
But what you didn't know was that Lando was going to take your daughter with him as a surprise guest for you. He carefully planned everything so that the two most important people in your life would be there for you on one of the most important days in your career.
The show was just about to start and while you were finishing the final touches backstage, Lando and Isla settled in the front rows of the runway. Lando looked like he might as well conquer that same runway in his black suit with his shirt just unbuttoned. His mullet looked flawless, his curls stood out perfectly with his well-known necklaces around his neck, a watch on his wrist and his daughter on his lap, he looked like a god.
As the music started, you were getting more and more nervous, but in a good way, you couldn't wait to get out on the runway and walk your wings.
Words couldn't describe the adrenaline that ran through your veins once you stepped out onto the runway. You've done it a thousand times before, but this time it was a completely different experience. You felt so powerful, so proud and so important, like you could conquer the whole world, as if no one could stop you.
As you walked your eyes searched for your husband, and when they found him it took everything in you to remain professional and not let your motherly feelings get the best of you when you saw your daughter sitting on Lando's lap. Your eyes sparkled and filled with tears when you saw how happy she was, how she waved at you and shouted mommy!!.
"Yees!! That's my wife! I love you baby!!" Lando shouted proudly as you walked by and blew both of them a kiss.
"That's my mommy!" Isla said excitedly pointing her little finger at you.
"Yes, baby, that's mommy" He smiled looking how fixated Isla's eyes were on you.
"She's so pretty," She commented. "And she has wings?!"
"She is, isn't she? Do you like the wings?" Lando chuckled seeing how excited Isla got about them.
"I do!! Daddy, can I have them too?"
"Oh, baby" Lando softened. "Well, not right now, but maybe one day when you're all big and grown up. Even though I hope not.." Lando muttered the last part quietly so Isla wouldn't hear how he hoped his daughter wouldn't one day walk the runway in tiny lace lingerie set in front of a million people and cameras following her every step.
It's not that he didn't want her to succeed one day, but that's just not any dad's dream when it comes to his daughter especially not Lando's.
"But..I want them now, daddy" She pouted. "I wanna be pretty just like mommy"
"Pumpkin, you are just as beautiful as mommy. Daddy's gonna buy you smaller wings so they can fit you perfectly as soon as we get home, okay?"
"Okay." She agreed and Lando kissed her cheek before they continued to watch the rest of the models walk.
By the time the show came to an end, Isla was already too tired and fell asleep on Lando's shoulder. Since it was long past her bed time she didn't even mind all the noise happening around her, she was peacefully sleeping hiding her head in the crook of her daddy's neck.
Once the show was over, Lando, with Isla in his arms, headed backstage to congratulate you. You melted when you saw how tired your daughter was and felt a little bad that she wasn't in her bed right now.
"I'm so proud of you, Mrs Norris" Lando said kissing you as you hugged him over Isla.
"Thank you, baby. How..? How did you manage to do this?"
"Just wanted to make sure both of your biggest fans were there for you on such an important day"
"You're incredible..I love you so much" You said feeling so grateful for the immense support you felt from him, not only now, but always.
In his vows, he promised you that he would always be there for you and ever since that day, he has never broken that promise. He always did everything for you and you only. When it came to you, nothing was impossible for him.
"I love you too, baby. Do you wanna go to the after party?" He asked.
"No, I wanna go to the hotel with you and Isla."
"Oh, she's going over to grandma and grandpa's tonight" Lando smirked.
"What do you mean? We're in New York?" You asked confused not knowing that Lando's parents were there as well tonight.
"Let's say I flew them out here so she can stay with them after the show."
"Oh really?" You laughed already knowing what he had planned in his mind. "And why did you do that?"
"Because I knew what I wanted to do to you tonight." He smirked squeezing your hip. "Daddy needs to show mommy just how proud he is of her for being so marvelously beautiful and owning that runway tonight."
"Oh so I get to have my own personal after party?"
"Oh yeah" He smirked connecting your lips again. "Do you get to take that set with you?" He asked referring to what you were wearing tonight before you changed.
You moved closer to his ear and whispered "I'm wearing it right now under this dress"
He took a deep breath in closing his eyes picturing you again in it.
"Good, because all I could think about was how I'm gonna be taking it off you after the show ends."
When you were ready to leave the show venue, a crowd of paparazzi greeted you at the exit on your way to your waiting car. Camera flashes went off so hard it made it hard to see where you were walking. Lando took off his blazer and wrapped it around Isla to shield her since she was still sleeping undisturbed on his chest. He kept you both under his grip, his hand on your waist first pulling you closer to him then letting you walk in front of him so he can keep an eye on you while with the other hand he tightly held your daughter.
You weren't the least bit sorry that you weren't going to attend the after party with the rest of the models because you knew that the after party you were about to get tonight would be like no other.
#lando norris x y/n#lando norris blurb#lando norris one shot#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris x you#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1#f1 x reader#f1 scenario#f1 smut#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 imagine
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Slide - The Consequences - MYG (18+)
Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader
Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?
Word count: 2k+
Summary:
"I barely make it down the stairs without panic Woah, I won't let it set me off"
Alternatively,
You are no different than the cigarette between his lips - half-burnt and waiting to be turned into ashes bit by bit with time.
Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics
Warnings: Extreme angst. I repeat EXTREME angst. One very triggering concept (I'm not mentioning what since it might spoil stuff) but I have tried to keep it as implied as possible.
Minors do not interact!!
Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)
Taglist requests are closed for now
A/N: This might break your heart because this is the angstiest chapter yet.
Read the next chapter
“Are you sure you don’t want to add anyone?” Hoseok asks for what feels like a thousand times. Everytime he asks this question, you get a sharp reminder of how you have no one to add as your emergency contact, how you are completely deserted from the rest of the world and how it’s no one’s fault but yours.
You nod your head in affirmation. To dim the helplessness in your eyes, you smile a little.
But Hoseok is not convinced as it seems, he only sighs harder. The pen in his hand fall on the patient chart as he intertwines his fingers and looks at you as if he is trying to read your troubles out aloud.
You don’t like it. You don’t like the way he understands you are nowhere near being mentally healthy for motherhood.
“Y/N?” he calls you firmly. The lack of any formal suffix or prefix shocks you momentarily. “You really don’t want to let the father know?”
You suck in a deep breath. You want to let Yoongi know. You of course do. You want him to be happy, you want him to say “let’s do this together”, you want him to love you back more and more and more and more.
But you know, this is hardly possible even in your wildest of dreams.
“He’s happy with the person he loves. I- I don’t want this baby to look like an excuse to come between them. Also…” Marrying, having kids - all these, freaks me out. Yoongi’s words ring in your head like a loud alarm, threatening you to go deaf at any given moment.
“Also?” Hoseok urges you to continue.
“Nothing.” you give him another weak smile.
He sighs again. Probably he, too, is done with you and your nonchalant stubbornness.
“In that case, I am enlisting myself as your emergency contact.” He takes his pen in his fingers again and starts putting down his number in your chart.
Your eyes go wide, “but will that be okay? I mean-”
“This is okay. Don’t worry. We usually do this in exceptional cases.” Hoseok gives you an assuring smile.
“Thank you.” you mumble, embarrassment eats you away.
“That’s alright, Y/N. don’t forget to take your meds and eat a lot of fruits. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And also, just so you know, excessive mental stress is harmful in earlier stages of pregnancy.”
Your chest tightens.
“Okay.”
You usually keep your personal cell silent. Because there is simply no reason not to.
No one is going to call you and mull over why you aren’t picking up your calls and if anything bad has happened to you or not.
Not even your mother. She has far more important responsibilities than you have ever managed to be.
You have a few contacts and a group chat with your high school friends, which you check occasionally.
That is why your heart threatens to beat out of your chest when you see unread notifications on the surface of your personal phone, that too, from Yoongi.
He had only messaged you a few times before in this number and all of those were barely a sentence.
But today he had sent you not one or two but a total set of five different texts, which read:
Yoongi (15:30): “I heard you are out with an emergency again?” Yoongi (15:36): “What is it, Y/N? Is something seriously wrong?” Yoongi (15:38): “Please, let’s talk.” Yoongi (15:50): “Will you please stop ignoring me?” Yoongi (16:05): “I will be waiting for you at the terrace. If you can, come before 5.”
Your eyes close as you leave a loud exhale out of your mouth. For a moment you question your decision of coming back to the company and make up for the time you were out. You could have just taken a sick leave. Or maybe if you checked your phone half an hour ago, you would have avoided this whole ordeal.
But right now you are in the parking lot of the building and you will have to go inside.
And you know very well, once you are inside, the invisible threads of your body that are connected to Min Yoongi will start pulling you towards the terrace.
It’s 4:24 now.. So he is still supposedly waiting at the terrace.
Maybe Yoongi is right. You should talk to him. What will you say, though, you don’t know.
Or maybe you should just listen to him, as always, let him do the talking and see how his speeches have changed since the last time, since the time when both of you were alone.
It’s only you, who is alone now, who is troubled.
You have always loved Yoongi’s side profile, the soft slope of his nose, the half crescent of his lips, but then again, there’s hardly anything about Yoongi you have not not loved.
However, right now as you watch him in the glow of the setting sun, with a half-burnt cigarette in between his lips, you wish you wouldn’t have loved him so much.
Because, now, you are no different than the cigarette between his lips - half-burnt and waiting to be turned into ashes bit by bit with time.
But can you though? Your life is not only yours anymore. Your life is now intertwined with another living mechanism and you are far too lost in your head to be prepared for it.
Do you really want the baby? Or do you just want to keep a trace of a fleeting thing that Yoongi had for you?
If it’s the second then isn’t it unfair for the unborn life?
Will you be able to love it when you can’t even love yourself? When you can’t associate anyone else with the word ‘love’ other than Yoongi himself?
“Hey. you came..” Yoongi’s voice pierce through the dark clouds of your thoughts. His words are laced with doubts, there is a frown in between his brows and now that he is facing you completely, you can see bags under his eyes.
You don’t even want to think about what's keeping him up at night.
“You wanted to talk.” you finally start walking towards him with legs so heavy that it feels as if your body will fall over their weight.
Yoongi crushes his cigarette under his shoes, like you have let him crush your hearts in those pretty hands of his.
Once there is no smoke lingering in the air, you step near his vicinity.
“Yeah. but the way you have been ignoring me, I didn’t think you would come.” there is a hint of hurt in his voice.
You don’t reply anything, rather you let your eyes get lost in the maze of concrete ahead, tall buildings aspiring to touch the sky but failing regardless.
From your peripheral vision you can see Yoongi stepping closer to you, opening his mouth to say something and then closing it again. He probably shuts his eyes for a brief second then opens it with determination burning in them.
“Y/N, what's wrong? I heard you have been taking leaves for regular checkups at the hospital? Are you… are you hurting?” Yoongi speaks with one of those soft tones that he hardly uses for anyone.
It’s not the first time he is using it for you, but it sways you a little anyway.
“I am fine, Yoongi. But I don’t understand what is up with you? Why are you suddenly so worried about me? Why are you suddenly caring as if… as if I mean something to you?” you ask him calmly, waiting for a valid answer.
“I have always cared about you.”
“But that was when we were- we were sleeping, right? Now you don’t have any obligations towards me. So please. Please stop confusing me. Please stop making me a fool.” you let a lone tear escape from your eye. This time doing nothing to stop it.
“How is this even confusing, Y/N? Friends care for each other. Don’t they?” Yoongi’s voice weaves and you don’t know why.
You chuckle dryly, “sadly enough, you are not just my friend. I am in love with you and you know that too.”
Yoongi’s eyes widen. He takes a tentative step away from you as if staying near you will turn him into a stone; and that breaks your already broken heart even more.
“Y/N- I-”
“I know. I know you don’t- You don’t have to. I just- I am a fool. I am sorry.” Now you are sobbing uncontrollably. Your eyes give out after holding onto your tears for a year.
Yoongi takes a step towards you, holds you by your shoulders but now his touches burn. Your body burns under his fingers and you want to run away - run away as far as possible.
“Y/N” his voice trembles yet again.
You hastily wipe your tears with your sleeves and run away in the opposite direction towards the flight of stairs.
He calls your name to stop you but doesn’t come running behind you. You note that.
Yoongi will never chase you. You are not Gyuri after all.
Once you are half down the stairs, you sit down, try to control your breathing, convince yourself that it’s not good for the baby.
The baby. The baby. The baby.
Should you not tell Yoongi about the baby? At least inform him? And then he can decide if he wants to accept it with you or leave it behind too? Just like you?
But this is not yours alone. He came to you that night and left a life inside you as an aftermath.
You stand up, deciding to take a shot, not for you but for the unborn life, which deserves the equal part of attention from its other parent too.
If there are consequences. You will face it all.
Climbing up the stairs, as you take a few steps towards where you left Yoongi behind.
You see him again.
But this time, he is not alone. He is with Gyrui, who is holding on to his body so tightly as if her life depends on it.
Their lips are molded with each other.
Her fingers are lost in his dark locks, his hands are placed on her side as if he is not sure what he is doing.
You stand there.
You stand there watching them numbly. And when you decide to turn and leave, you have nothing left inside of you.
Your body is now a shell of something that looks like you.
You decide to take the stairs all the way down until your legs give out.
Your back slides down the wooden door of your bedroom.
You let out a thunderous scream and that is closely followed by wailing.
You cry. You cry for all the times you have loved Yoongi. You cry for all the times he didn’t even look at you. You cry for the time when Gyuri came back. You cry for the time when Yoongi left that night. You cry for today when he clearly chose Gyuri over you even when you knew this was your destiny.
You cry because Yoongi can’t be yours and today finally ends a lot of things.
You don’t know for how long you cry. But all the tears have left you feeling weary.
You climb on your bed and drift off to a slumber.
And you dream.
You dream of yourself, and Yoongi and a baby hand that’s holding his fingers. Yoongi is smiling, he is happy.
Then you dream of a big wave, drowning you - Yoongi and the hand of the baby have disappeared.
When you wake up, your body is drenched in sweat, so much so that even the back of your thighs feel wet.
The pain in your body is piercing.
But when you manage to sit up - you see a pool of blood soaked in your clothes and sheets.
The last trace of Yoongi that you were trying hard to preserve, is gone too now.
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Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...
General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.
Chapter 3 - Snake
Step 2: Get free of your cell.
WC: 5.5k
Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1
Heat did in fact bring you a warm blanket and clothes, in fact he brought you several of his own blankets, which smelt of weed and musk, as well as a pillow, a long sleeved shirt that was practically a dress on you, and sweatpants you had to tie as tight as they would go to get them to stay up. He even brought you a set of fuzzy socks and a stuffed animal that looked something like a snake but with horns. You were far more comfortable in the brig now, even if there were very questionable stains on your mattress, you were at least able to stack the two mattresses in your cell and use one of the blankets as somewhat of a sheet. Heat didn't make any further sexual advances on you, you got the sense he was nervous about getting caught, though he did give you soft kisses through the bars whenever he came to visit, which you happily accepted.
You didn't see much of other top dogs, usually your food was brought down once a day by a random crewmate, seemingly whoever drew the short straw that day. It wasn't a lot of food, but Heat would sneak you more when he could. It was clear that you had him on your side, always checking if you were okay, even if he seemed highly anxious about being caught talking to you. Unbeknownst to you, someone had in fact noticed his visits, and you now found yourself face to face with Wire, who sat against the edge of the desk across from your cell, spinning his trident on its base idly.
“You need to stop taking advantage of Heat,” he told you plainly.
“I'm not taking advantage of him,” you huffed, hugging the stuffed animal he'd given you to your chest. Wire raised an eyebrow at the toy, it was obvious to him where you got it. The room stunk of Heat, his scent was on your clothes, your blankets, your skin. “I genuinely like Heat, sue me. It's not my fault he's the only one who sees I'm no danger to anyone.”
Wire made a tsk sound and stood, only needing a few strides of his long legs to come to a stop in front of your cell. “Show me your wrists,” he ordered with a bored expression.
You raised a brow at the sudden request but obediently put down your stuffed animal, walking in front of Wire and holding up your arms through the bars for him. He took your wrist in his large hand and turned it too and fro, like he was looking for something, furrowing his brows as he apparently didn't find it. He let your arms drop again and you stood patiently, waiting for him to say something.
“What are you, and how did you get here?” he asked, “You're not getting out of here until Kid gets answers, and he's getting impatient”
“I already told you, I don't know how I got here,” you huffed, “I was in my own world, where all this shit was fiction, I got hit by a bus, I hit your mast. That's the entire truth of it. What do you want from me, a three thousand word essay about the world I'm from?”
“Hmm,” Wire squinted at you discerningly, taking a few steps back and returning to spinning his trident idly.
“I'm telling you the truth, I swear,” you pleaded, “I can prove it when we get to Sabaody, I can tell you what'll happen there, without any devil fruit helping me know. I don't have any sort of foresight, I just read it in the work of fiction in my own world. I have other proof too, I know about Victoria, and the four gangs on your home island in the South Blue, why Kid and Killer don't like curry udon. I swear on my life, I'm telling the truth. There's no reason for me to lie, I have nowhere else to go and no reason to harm anyone on this ship.”
“Kil? What do you think?” Wire said without turning away from you. You let out a surprised squeak as Killer emerged from the door, seemingly having been standing there quietly for who knows how long.
“She stinks of fear, but I don't think she's lying,” he replied, standing next to Wire with crossed arms.
“Kil, I'm sorry about the lipstick thing, I-” you started, before he raised a hand and cut you off.
“Save it, it's whatever,” he tutted, “but tell anyone else and you'll be begging for death.”
“I'd never tell anyone, I swear,” you replied, holding the bars as best you could with your bound hands. “I swear I'd never betray anyone on this crew. I want to be here, I do, I promise. Just let me out of here, I'll prove you can trust me.”
“Mm,” Killer hummed, before turning and leaving without another word, an equally silent Wire in tow, leaving you confused and fearful of your future on this ship. You curled back up in bed, hugging your stuffie close to your chest, trying your best not to cry.
“Wanna explain why you've been scenting her, Heat?” Killer accused, sitting at the round table in the navigation room with the other three commanders.
“You did what?” Kid growled, “what, she suck your dick or something? Why are you making a claim on her?”
“No… yes…” Heat admitted, “she's nice okay? She seemed so genuine, and she asked for a blanket that smelt like me, ask her yourself. She wanted me to scent her”
“So she did suck your dick?” Kid laughed, “you're as weak to a woman as ever, Heat. Don't think she's gonna let you claim her just because she smells like you.”
“It's not like that,” Heat huffed, “besides, she practically extended an invitation for any of us to fuck her. God forbid I do something as innocent as scent her.”
“You know full well it's not innocent,” Wire jeered, “but I do agree that she seems to be genuine.”
“So what, we're believing this other world bullshit?” Kid asked.
“The iron isn't burning her wrists, and she had no problem sticking her arm outside of the cage barrier,” Wire noted, “I don't think she's a witch or a demon. We know she doesn't have a devil fruit. I don't think there's any other good explanations for how she got here or how she knows so much about us”
“At the very least, she seems to believe it's the truth,” Killer added, “and she hasn't shown any aggression towards the crew. I don't know if we have any reason to keep her locked up. If what she's saying is true, then she has insider information on our future that could prove useful. At the very least she's more useful to us alive.”
“I don't trust her,” Kid grumbled, “I'll probably still fuck her, but I don't trust her.”
“So let me take on the responsibility,” Heat suggested, “I'll keep an eye on her”
“You just wanna get her in your bed so you can get more scent on her,” Wire rolled his eyes, “I saw the stuffed animal, already bringing her courting gifts, I know you're just itching to get her in your hoard”
“Shut up!” Heat huffed, a vibrant red flushing on his face, “you're just jealous she didn't say she dreams about you a lot! It's not my fault she likes me better!”
“Snake,” Wire spat.
“Bull-headed cunt!” Heat shouted back.
“Will you knuckleheads shut the fuck up and let me think?” Kid growled. Wire and Heat quickly quietened down, a slight blush still evident on Heat's cheeks as he considered adding you to his treasure collection. “Heat, you can have your whore, but if she puts one foot out of place I'll crush her fucking skull. And if I catch you acting all possessive I'm taking your toy away, she ain't yours, don't let her get in your head. She has till Sabody to prove herself, if she turns out to be full of shit we'll sell her to an auction house while we're there. At least then we'll get back what we spent feeding the bitch”
“Aye aye captain,” Heat stood excitedly, eager to get you out of the cell.
“Oi, Heat,” Killer barked before Heat had a chance to leave, “I know you know what I'm about to say; don't fucking try it, understand? Like Kid said, she's not yours to claim, so don't fucking try it.”
Heat knew exactly what Killer was referring to and grumbled in annoyance. “I wasn't gonna…” he mumbled like a scolded child.
“Oh come off it, like you haven't had a clutch ready to go since she came on board,” Killer huffed, “I can smell it from here, don't fucking try it.”
“Fine! Whatever!” Heat yelled.
“And take her to House tomorrow,” he continued, “if you're gonna make her your fucktoy you better not get her knocked up the old fashioned way either. And have her tested, if she's so desperate to be the ship whore she better be fuckin’ clean.”
“Roger that,” Heat grumbled, almost slamming the door behind him as he hurried out of the navigation room.
“He's gonna try it,” Wire noted.
“Hundred berri he tries it in less than two weeks,” Kid added.
“One week,” Wire replied.
“One month,” Killer bet, having at least a tiny bit more confidence in Heat's ability to hold off.
You heard Heat's hurried footsteps before you saw him, the creaking of the ladder-stairs as he descended them and practically skipped into the room. “Someone's got a pep in their step today,” you noted, “come for another taste or what?”
“Even better!” Heat smiled as he fumbled with the keys on his belt, “Kid said you can come out, just gotta stay by my side so I can keep an eye on ya”
“Oh, okay!” You stood up quickly, gathering up your blankets and stuffie, but not yet picking them up since you still had cuffs on, “oh, does that mean I'll be staying with you?”
“Yup!” Heat replied a little too eagerly, opening the cell door and fiddling with the keys again to find the one for your restraints. You held up your wrists for him and he removed the cuffs, letting you properly stretch your arms for the first time in several days. Heat grabbed the blankets and bundled them up in his arms, leaving you to grab the pillow and stuffed snake thing. “Come on, I'll show you my room!” He said excitedly.
You followed him obediently as he led you back up to the main deck, unsurprisingly followed by multiple sets of curious eyes, though this time a few of them were noticeably scrunching their noses, like they'd caught a bad smell. You chalked it up to having had no shower in what must have been a week, and made a mental note to ask Heat for a chance to bathe. He led you up two flights of external stairs, one that led to the covered area that held the cannons, the second up to the stern castle, which looked a lot like an actual castle. Strangely, despite being on a mostly wooden ship, the stern castle was made of light grey brickwork, with green, torn fabric draped over the slightly sloped roof section, and arched, ornate windows scattered around the main floor. The entire stern castle was surrounded in a thin deck, with a single arched door at the front leading inside. You followed Heat in, finding yourself in a small hall with a single door and staircase to your left, and more doors to the right as the hall bent around a central section in a U shape, presumably circling the base of the mizzenmast that protruded from the stern castle. There was also an exceptionally tall ladder directly in line with the entry door that disappeared into the ceiling, which Heat explained cut through the next floor and went all the way to the deck on top of the stern castle.
Heat opened the first door on the right, that same familiar scent of weed and musk you'd grown accustomed to hitting you like a truck. The room was a little dark, with fabric pinned over the windows like permanently shut curtains, blocking out any daylight from entering. He made no move to turn on an overhead light, but there was a string of fairy lights hung around the entire circumference of the room, towards the top of the walls, that gave the room a soft, romantic lighting. The room was messy, with a large bed that seemed like a king size but longer, presumably to account for his height, pushed against the wall the door was on. Opposite it was a small indoor greenhouse setup, with several shelves holding what you assumed to be weed plants behind frosted plastic, condensation making the plastic wet on the inside. There was a short set of drawers to your left, and a side table with a bong on it next to the bed, but other than that, what surprised you the most about the room was the sheer amount of stuffed animals.
They were everywhere, littering every corner and every surface in tall stacks, stuffies of every size and shape, lining the long side of his bed along the wall and stacked in a tall pile in the corner of it. It was frankly fucking adorable, and you couldn't help but let a little giggle out. You threw yourself on the bed, letting the mountain of stuffies all fall on you and cover you in a great avalanche, a riot of giggles coming from under the pile as you kicked your feet gleefully. If you'd been able to see Heat's face, you would have known you'd made a mistake in being so enthusiastic. You'd unknowingly just made something possessive click in his brain, compounding yourself into his prized hoard, making yourself one of his treasures.
His form shifted before he could stop himself, legs changing to a long tail, covered in dark dusty pink scales, wrapped with deep red-brown thorn line markings, much like his tattoos. His canines grew to fangs, his nails to sharp black claws, and from his hair emerged two large horns that curled slightly inwards at the ends, black at the base then transitioning to dusty pink and bright fushia at the tips. The end of this tail flicked and shut the door, the sound prompting you to finally emerge from the mountain of stuffed animals with a final laugh that was cut short as you took sight of him.
Raised up on his tail, he very nearly hit the tall ceiling, looming over you as he slithered closer. Your first instinct was to scream, but for some reason you couldn't bring yourself to do it, too enamoured with the way his scales were almost iridescent where the light caught them. Your back was forced flat to the bed as he moved to tower over you, the base of his tail pressed between your legs as his arms supported himself on either side of your torso, your chest heaving with half fearful, half aroused breaths.
“You okay?” He asked curiously, raising a brow as he smelt your fear scenting the air, his senses elevated in this form. “You're acting like you've never seen a Wyrm. Do you not have my kind where you come from?”
“No, we most certainly do not,” you breathed heavily, “a …wyrm, you said? Like a dragon?”
“I'm surprised, most people would say ‘like a snake?’, which is frankly highly offensive,” he joked, “did the manga in your world not say I was a wyrm?”
“No but… it also never explained how you breathed fire,” you admitted, your eyes travelling down now to the base of his tail, noticing the slit between the scales where his dick would usually be. It made sense, Heat was not a character a lot was known about, and the world of One Piece held all sorts of strange species. It explained why he could breathe fire, though there was the chance still that this was a zoan type devil fruit. The way he talked about it made it sound like a somewhat common thing here, so perhaps it was just a species not really shown in the manga. Your eyes travelled again and noticed his fangs and his pretty horns, and you couldn't help but reach up and touch the pink tips, wondering if they were as sharp as they looked. Not sharp enough to draw blood, you discovered, but they would certainly hurt if he headbutted someone. “So pretty,” you mused. You understood now what the stuffie he'd lent you was, and it was all the more adorable that he'd given you one that looked like him.
“You're not afraid of me like this?” He asked hesitantly. Even those familiar with his kind tended to be anxious around him like this, he was large and dangerous looking, it was a natural response.
“Should I be?” You replied plainly, fiddling with the strings on his corset style top. He lifted himself to remove it, and you could see now that his nipples were pierced, which didn't surprise you in the least. You openly ogled his bare torso, so very well sculpted, running your hand down the center of his chest.
“You're part of my hoard now, I'm only ever gonna protect you,” he said softly, leaning down and brushing his nose against the crook of your neck. You didn't mean to but a quiet whimper escaped you as his fangs brushed against your pulse point, the threat of his bite making you a little horny. He could smell it, your growing arousal, and made a deep rumbling sound that vibrated in his chest, entirely pleased at the sweet smell that now overwhelmed the previous scent of fear. He looked and sounded dangerous, but it only added to his allure, and you couldn't help but roll your hips towards him, dragging your core against his tail with a needy whine. You knew what you were, you knew you had secret desires to fuck monsters, you'd seen parts of the internet your parents would disown you for. This strange new form catered so well to those primal desires, arousal building quickly as you watched the light catch against his fangs. The growling sounded again, this time accompanied by movement between your legs. You pushed him off you slightly to look, eyes widening as you watched two vibrantly pink appendages, tapered to dull points and lined along the undersides with bumps, emerge from the slit on his tail. You realised with a gasp what you were looking at. Two of them, oh fuck there were two of them. This world was the fucking best, you should have gotten hit by a bus years ago.
“Is this okay?” He asked, watching you stare at his two cocks, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. He didn't often show this form, let alone to women he hoped to bed.
“Heat, I mean this in the most genuine way possible,” you replied, fire pooling at your core, “fuck me, please”
“Are.. are you sure?” He asked, sitting back on his tail, feeling a little unsure of himself. Once again his low self-esteem told him this was a trick, he'd always had trouble accepting compliments at face value, especially since receiving his Glasgow smile.
“Why would I not be?” You asked him, cupping his face and running a thumb over his scarred cheek, he looked as though he might cry any moment. Sweet soft boy, this was why you loved Heat so much. You couldn't understand his unease though; he was massive, ripped with muscles, incredibly cool and scary in a way that made you hot with those fangs and horns. His tail was beautiful, you wanted to touch it, not to mention his two cocks that looked even thicker and longer than his human dick. Why would you not want him? “Heat, are you okay? You seem nervous. Am I being too forward?”
“It's just… I don't usually… show this side of myself to women,” he admitted, “unless I'm paying them… I'm scary enough as it is in my human form”
“Oh Heat,” you cooed, understanding now his anxiety, “you're beautiful, and incredibly sexy. Can I touch you?”
“Y-yes,” he stuttered, laying back against the mattress next to you as you guided him to relax with gentle motions. You sat up to reach more of him, running your finger down his well sculpted abdomen, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind on his skin until your hand met the spot where his scales began. The scales were smoother than you expected, even if you moved against the grain you didn't catch the edges of the tightly knit scales, though there was a pleasant bumpiness to them. You wondered how it would feel to slide against them, feeling yourself grow wetter at the thought.
He whimpered a little as your hand ran down his tail, feeling the smooth scales under your palm, considerably hotter to the touch than you expected. You wondered if he'd ever been touched like this; if he'd only ever been with women in this form when they were paid, perhaps nobody had ever taken the time to truly explore this form. You moved slowly, running your hands over his entire tail, hearing his small whines as you played with the tapered tip that flicked a little as you touched it. Curiously you brought it to your mouth, and he groaned as you ran your tongue over it, draping an arm over his face as he flushed bright pink.
“Ah- ah- sensitive-” he whined, the tip of his tail almost vibrating in your hand. You took it in your mouth and he gasped, his chest heaving as you sucked on the tip of his tail. He was breathing heavily as you let him go, and you stripped off your clothes before straddling his tail, pressing your wet core against his scales. “You can- you can ride me if you want,” he said shyly through heavy breaths.
“Do you want me to ride you, Heat?” You asked mischievously, “Do you want me to use your tail however I like?”
“Yes, yes,” he whined, “use me however you want princess, please”
You shuffled to get a little more comfortable before you pressed down hard and began to grind against him, the strange new texture feeling surprisingly good against your cunt, slick transfering to his tail and lubricating your movements and you rolled your hips against him. You immediately struggled to hold back your moans, having been throbbing with need at the mere sight of those two proud cocks that sat in front of you and the way he whimpered at every delicate touch you gave him, immensely relieved at finally getting some much needed friction. He sat up a little, supporting himself with one hand while the other held your hip, helping you find more pressure as you grinded on him. Heat's eyes were wide as he watched you enjoy his tail, never in his life had anyone used him in this way, your juices glistening against his iridescent scales as the wet patch grew larger with every roll. His cocks were twitching as he watched you, his eyes almost black from how blown out his pupils were. Precum leaked from his cocks just watching you pleasure yourself with his body. Heat thought you looked unbearably beautiful like that, lost in your pleasure on top of his tail, a shining jewel worthy of his collection. Never had he thought a woman would accept him like this, and yet somehow you seemed turned on by it, a fact he couldn't wrap his head around but certainly wasn't complaining about.
“Hnng, feels good~” you mewled, grinding faster as you felt that coil in your abdomen begin to tighten. Just having the opportunity to play with a beast like Heat was making you hotter, his tail slapping excitedly against the mattress behind you as your orgasm drew close. You looked down at his two cocks, twitching with need in front of you, noticing now the way the piercings on his human form seemed split between them, with two ladders in the higher shaft, and the remaining ladder and tip on the lower, though being that he no longer had defined heads to his cocks, the tip piercing was considerably lower down his shaft. There were swollen bumps along the underside of each that you had no doubt would feel incredible inside you, the bases of each shaft incredibly thick and tapering to the pointed tips, comparable to tentacles. Precum beaded at the tips and rolled down the undersides, your eyes following the beads as they travelled, making you unconsciously lick your lips. They were not unlike the dildo you had back home, and your moans grew harsh just looking at them and considering what one would feel like inside you, knowing you surely couldn't take both, and suddenly your coil was snapping violently, gushing your release over his tail and shaking on top of him as you struggled to stay upright.
You gave him a crooked, fucked out smile as his tail supported your back, still twitching a little in the afterglow of your orgasm. You slid yourself backwards, leaving a wet trail along his tail as you shuffled down it, until you were far back enough to lean down and run a tongue against his lower cock, taking the other in your hand. They were almost scaldingly hot to the touch, but it didn't deter you from running your tongue up one then the other, playing with them with your tongue, like a greedy child with two icecreams.
“They're so big,” you purred, “how am I gonna fit them inside me?”
“I can warm you up,” he offered, “with.. um.. with my tail. If you want.” He'd always wanted to penetrate someone with his tail, but given how scared people usually were he hadn't ever dared to suggest it. He had a feeling though, given your enthusiasm for this form, that perhaps you would be willing.
You looked up at him wide eyed, was he really offering to fuck you with his tail? “Oh fuck yes,” you replied eagerly, arching your back so your pussy was more exposed behind you. You felt the movement underneath you as his tail curled and shifted, until the tip was brushing against your bare cunt. “Hnng, yes, fuck. Fuck me with your tail Heat~”
You both whined as his tail rubbed against your pussy, searching for the entrance, successfully finding it and sliding in. Heat was slow and careful, he'd never tried this before but he knew his tail was sensitive, so he'd wanted to try this for a while. It didn't feel as good as getting his dick wet, but it was pleasant and sent shivers through him as he felt your gummy walls squeezing around him. You licked at the tips of his cocks, holding them together to take both ends into your mouth at once, moaning around them as his tail pressed in further and began to stretch your cunt, thrusting in and out slowly. You switched your focus to one cock, still servicing the other with your hand, bobbing your head at the same pace as his tail was pumping into you. You couldn't hope to take all of him in this form, his girth far too much at the base for your lips, but you could get a good two thirds in before the corners of your mouth stung too much from the stretch.
He pushed his tail into you further, getting it close to the girth of his cock, getting you used to the stretch. He didn't want to get you entirely stretched out, he wanted to feel your tight cunt struggling to take him when you finally sunk down on him. His tail curled inside you, focusing on your sweet spots, making you vibrate his dick with your sweet moans until you let his cock go with a pop. “Ahh, gonna cum, fuck,” you whined, your hands pumping his two cocks in a messy unfocused pattern as he fucked you faster and a second orgasm ripped through you, juices dripping down Heat's tail.
“Want- want your cock,” you whimpered, practically collapsing on him. You had hoped to ride him while you held those pretty horns but you simply didn't have it in you anymore, your legs turned to jelly and shaking.
Heat rolled you gently until your back was against the mattress, your thighs wrapping around him as he laid on top of you, hooking your ankles together behind where his ass would be. You felt his cocks heavy against your abdomen as he looked at you like you were the most precious thing he'd ever seen, his delicate human treasure. “Please,” you whined, feeling unbearably empty without his tail in you.
“Shh, I'm gonna give you what you want, my jewel,” he cooed, reaching between your bodies to position his lower cock, the thin tip easily sliding inside as the higher one laid against your clit. You took most of him with ease, his tail having prepared you well, until he began to reach the thickest part of his cock and your cunt began to strain against the stretch. Heat groaned as he bullied himself into you, whispering praises as he bottomed out, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix and making you wince. He withdrew a little, not wanting to hurt you, until the pain melted from your face.
“Look at you, taking me so well,” he groaned, sliding back out slowly and pushing back in fast, making you practically scream. He made harsh thrusts, unable to restrain himself now that he was buried in your heat, grunting with each deep slide of his cock, the additional stimulation of his higher cock grinding against your clit with every thrust making you moan loud enough for the whole ship to hear. “Good girl, fuck, good girl,” Heat grunted, the wet squelch of his cock in your soaked cunt filling the small room. “Sweet little treasure, all mine, all fucking mine,” he growled, his speed picking up as his fingers left bruises on your hips, claws sinking in and pricking your skin. “So pretty, my jewel.”
“Ah, Heat, so good, so good,” you whined, making your own marks on him as your fingernails dug into his back. The way the base of his cock pressed hard against your g-spot with every deep thrust was making your coil pull tight again, a fucked out smile spread on your face and your mind entirely lost to the pleasure Heat was giving you. He felt your pussy flutter around him, incredibly aroused as he saw that grin on your face and the way your eyes were rolling, your tits bouncing with each thrust.
“Ahh fuck, gonna cum,” Heat whined, his pace turning desperate and erratic as he got lost watching your breasts bouncing, “so pretty, so fucking pretty, gonna cum”
“I wanna- I wanna be covered in it,” you moaned, reaching down to jerk off the cock that wasn't inside you. He made a sharp whine as you pumped him fast, your walls clamping down around him giving him the final push he needed to finish, doing his best to work you through your orgasm before he pulled out and held his cocks together, jerking himself off till impossibly hot cum shot out in ropes across your abdomen and breasts, your thighs squeezing tight around him as your body shook.
Heat collapsed next to you, his cocks slowly retreating back into his slit as you both panted hard. Your stomach was coated in his seed and you couldn't help but run your fingers through it, playing with it while your clit throbbed from overstimulation. “So hot,” you sighed between heavy breaths, “that felt so fucking good.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed it, my treasure,” Heat purred, rolling to his side and intertwining his tail with your legs. Heat felt unbelievably accepted and vulnerable in this moment, having never experienced such pleasures with a woman in his true form. He felt wholly accepted, the anxiety and fear of rejection he felt at the start entirely wiped away. “We should get you cleaned up though”
“Mmm, I could do with a shower,” you mused, making circles in the hot cum on your stomach with your index finger. Heat near purred at the way you willingly rubbed his scent into you by playing with his cum, only further adding to his possessiveness.
[Next Chapter]
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#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut#one piece x reader#kid pirates#kid pirates x reader#killer x reader#heat x reader#killer one piece#massacre soldier killer#heat one piece#kid one piece#eustass captain kidd#kid x reader#eustass kid x reader#wire x reader#wire one piece#monsterfucker#monsterfucker smut#monster au
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The funny thing about JC defenders is that they always try to argue that JC refusing to cover the Wens and side with WWX was the correct political move. In the short term, perhaps, but in the long term, that was proven wrong in the books themselves.
(It's even funnier thinking that correct political moves exist in a bullshit political system that blatantly serves only the gentry, is held together by hearsay and rumors, and has no actual system of laws that can serve as a basis to accuse, judge, or punish someone.)
So how was JC's refusal to side with WWX and the Wens considered the "correct political move"? Reasons include that the Jiang sect was still recovering from the war, that going against the Jins would result in another war that would end in major losses on the Jiang sect's side, and that the Wens weren't and shouldn't have been a priority for JC at all.
Let's clear a few things up. The Jiang clan was not the only clan recovering, so were the Nies and the Lans. In the aftermath of the war, it's not explicitly stated how well the other sects were doing, so we couldn't really tell if the Jiangs were worse off than the other three. It could be noted, however, that the Jins retained much of their wealth and influence, so much so that Jin Guangyao was able to take the position of Chief Cultivator with little to no opposition. The main point, though, is that at that moment in the aftermath of the war, we could not easily assume the Jiangs were the worst off, as the other three sects also lost many disciples in the war, and we didn't really know how much the other sects recovered.
For the second reason, if a major war somehow did happen again, this time Jiangs vs everyone else, everyone else would lose. WWX's presence single-handedly helped them win the war against the Wens. A war between the Jiangs and the jianghu would be based on numbers, which reflects the war between the Wens and the jianghu. The Wens had more disciples, and no matter how many LWJs or NMJs you got up your sleeve, numbers make a big difference in war. That's why WWX's skills were a critical part in winning: he is a one-man army of thousands. He could easily make up for the gap in numbers. That's why the Jins kept trying to get rid of him—they were nervous about so much power belonging to only one faction: the Jiangs. JGS couldn't exactly claim his desired role as Chief Cultivator if a younger, smarter, and more powerful individual was still around to keep him in check.
Finally, we get to the part of why I'm making this long-ass post on a caffeine-driven rage. See, the point of trying to stop a powerful faction from committing atrocities is to stop them from thinking they can do it whenever they like. The Jins were given a pass to do whatever the hell they wanted to a small, outcasted faction (the Wens), and they proceeded to take that pass as a pass for everything else. Nobody stopped them from torturing the Wens, so what's stopping them from allowing a mass murderer like XY to run wild in an attempt to create their own WWX? Definitely not NMJ, hahaha, because, y'know, the hypocrites in the gentry have already decided that whatever the Jins do is alright so long as it's not their problem. An exterminated clan isn't their priority. So, what was stopping XY from going out and doing it again to SL's sect? Absolutely nothing! Because the Jins could cover it up and no one could say a word despite how suspicious it was, because hey, remember what happened to the last guy that spoke up against the Jins?
Calling out the Jins on their crimes against the Wens, who were elderly and children save for WQ and WN (who JC owed his damn life and core to), would have created a precedent of not allowing massive crimes to slide under the radar. But because the opposite happened, because nobody fucking realized that apathy and selfishness don't fucking help in the long run, two sects were exterminated because JGS and JGY were basically given an "okay, fine, just keep that bullshit away from us". That's not actual justice. That's not "morally grey". Allowing people in power to trample over others just because it doesn't affect you personally is not sustainable, because what happens when it's you they've decided to trample over? Are you going to complain? Are you going to look to others for help, when you personally couldn't be bothered to offer your hand to those who suffered? When the reason the people trampling over you gained that power is because you allowed it?
The unopposed killing of WWX and the Wens led to the political climate that allowed the massacres of two sects because the Jins were trying to protect and satisfy their pet project. It led to the murder of NMJ because JGS/JGY wanted to keep people from checking their power. If JC couldn't find it in his heart to be sympathetic to the Wens, fine, but at the very least, he should have considered the potential harm in rolling over and giving a political faction too much power.
#it's not that i hate jc#i really don't#but when his defenders try to make it out like wwx made HIS life so hard#by yknow having a moral compass#and spewing bs about how jc was politically correct or sum#like im sorry pls decide on whether jc was a young inexperienced leader or a politically smart guy#you cant defend on opposite fronts and frankly the former makes him more sympathetic than the latter#mdzs#mxtx mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#anti jiang cheng#just in case#cant believe my first major post abt mdzs is a rant about THOSE jc defenders#can't believe there r actual ppl who've read mdzs and side w the rich dudes
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Chapter 8b: Last Night
From: You Catch More Bees With Honey Series
Pairing: Mob! Bucky x Farmer! Reader
Summary: It’s Bucky’s last night on your farm
Word count: 2,645
Content/warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY, SMUT, p in v protected sex, crying during sex (well technically after), dry humping, vaginal fingering, sweet soft intimacy, kissing
Author’s Note: This could probably be read as a stand-alone, but I’ll catch you up in case you feel confused. Bucky made a business deal to work on your farm for a month. This is the last afternoon/night of that after spending all that time side-by-side. If you’re interested in the series, you can catch up with the link below or check out the rest of the Outta Nowhere AU
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
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On the final Saturday that Bucky was at the farm, the two of you practically stayed pressed together. It’s not as if you were unproductive, but you were glued at the hip, never leaving the office for too long without the other under the guise of tying up loose business ends before his departure. You knew once he was gone, he’d have to take all his burdens back off Steve, leaving him swamped with work, unable to pay you any more attention than he did his other associates.
With your efficiency and his inability to say no to you, all ‘work’ had been completed before noon. Sure, you could’ve dragged it out, but then you wouldn’t have had time to just enjoy each other’s presence like you had gotten used to. Before that could happen, though, you presented him with one last task.
Bucky sat on your oversized desk chair with you in between his legs. His chin was tucked over your shoulder as he rubbed up and down your thigh with his ringed hand. The cool metal gave you goosebumps on your bare skin, the nice weather allowing you to wear shorts and the lack of physical labor giving Bucky the opportunity to don his jewelry once again. You ignored the way your body shuddered at his touch, instead looking back at him over your shoulder with a smirk.
“Okay, cowboy. I think we’ve got your first few months of shipments all planned, so now onto my last order of business.”
He cocked his head to look at you with an amused, but tentative smile. “And what might that be?”
“Pull out a pen.” You stood up and shuffled the papers on your desk, looking for a blank one and setting it in front of him. You took a seat on the other side, not missing his slight pout and confusion as to why you moved so far and what was going on.
“Now that we’ve reached the end of the month, I want to assess what you’ve learned. I’m gonna shoot questions at you, and you write your answer so we can determine whether or not you actually took in information or just followed me around and mooched off my free meals.”
Bucky laughed when you shot him a wink and happily obliged you, a sparkle in his eyes, admiring the way you were demanding something of him with a sweet smile on your face, just like the first time you met. He gave a slight nod, pen at the ready. “Alright, sweet Honeybee. Hit me with it.”
You crossed your arms and legs, watching him as you rattled everything off you could think of, from super obvious things, like which animal lays eggs, to asking nearly impossible things, like the brand of feed given to the dairy cows. Bucky’s reactions to each question were a treat, some causing him to light up with knowledge, others making him roll his eyes at your specificity.
“Last question. This one’s worth a thousand points. Write something you think will impress me. Something out of the blue, whatever’s on your mind. Anything at all.”
Bucky sat there for a moment, tapping the cap of the pen against his bottom lip in thought. You watched his playful features morph into something serious, something soft, as he scribbled one line at the bottom of the paper.
‘I wish I could stay here longer.’
You leaned forward so could read his paper upside down, scanning the answers, each one surprisingly correct. Not a single one was off and he even put more information than you’d asked for on some of them. You were not only amazed with the way he indulged your ridiculous request, but with how this whole time, he had actually been listening and watching, holding onto every word and fulfilling his side of the deal.
As you looked up from the paper and into his eyes, you could feel the warmth through his gaze even that far apart. You stood up again and Bucky did the same, coming around to meet you. It was as if your bodies were magnetic, drawing you towards each other until his one hand was on your cheek, the other wrapped around your waist as yours perched on his hips.
His eyes shifted between yours and he closed his eyes, drawing his forehead against yours before he spoke against your lips. “I’m serious. I love every moment with you. And I’m sorry it’ll have to end.”
You swallowed and let your eyes flutter closed as you leaned into his touch and nodded. “I know. But I get that you have work to do and it was already a lot for me to request you being here for so long. But just…for right now, be with me. Enjoy what little time is left of this with me. Please.” It came out as a whisper, a plea for him to remain present while he still could. You opened your eyes and looked up through your lashes to see him searching for your gaze.
He whispered back, “You don’t have to ask me twice. Say the word and it’s yours. I’m yours. And I’ll be right there if you ever need anything. Whatever you want, Honey. And right now, I’m here with you. I only want to be… with you.”
Your eyes closed again and you nestled into his chest in satisfaction at the depth of his words. You knew he was saying he would be present, but it meant so much more. For him to make a promise like that, extending beyond just business, made you feel supported, protected, embraced.
He pulled you closer if that was even possible and pressed his lips to your hairline, then using his hand against your cheek, he pulled your head so you were both leaning back enough that your gazes met before he smashed his lips against yours. It was with purpose and a new sort of urgency that you hadn’t really experienced in the slower kisses and pecks you had shared. You began to walk backwards and Bucky followed, lips attached to yours in a near-lock as your tongues danced, not unlike your feet, performing similarly to the two-step you had taught him weeks before. Your hands slid up a down his chest and began to pop open the buttons of his flannel shirt as his ran under yours, feeling the softness of your belly and tracing upwards, raising the hem of your shirt as his callused fingertips sent a thrill through you.
The two of you removed your clothing piece by piece, discarding them carelessly as you crossed through the living room and waltzed carefully up the steps, grateful Peter was out of the house for the day and helping Curtis with the weekend chores.
Clad only in underwear, you grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him towards your room, falling down on the bed as he crawled over you. His lips met yours once again as you widened your legs, allowing his hips to grind on your core. Your gasp at the sensation allowed Bucky’s tongue to explore your mouth, swallowing down each other’s moans and drawing closer and closer. Bucky pulled away for a second to catch his breath, the both of you looking deeply into the other’s eyes and panting.
His fingers traced down your side to play with the hem of your cotton panties, and you nodded, wordlessly giving him the permission he needed to pull them down. Bucky groaned at the sight of the damp fabric as he dragged the material down your legs, kissing back up your body and stoping to lovingly lick and nip at your neck as you whined and writhed for some sort of friction again.
“Jamie, please.”
He smiled and sighed at the way you begged for his touch, not used to being the one in control of anything since he’d been here, and now holding your pleasure in his hands. His fingers reached down to find your clit, dipping towards your entrance first to gather your arousal before making slow, teasing circles on the sensitive button. His soft touch set your body on fire. It had been so long since you’d been this intimate with anyone, all of your focus on the farm, and the exhaustion after a long week, not to mention the hurt from Jake deterring you from the desire for a partner.
“I’m here, I’m with you, Honey. I’ve got you-give you whatever you want. Just wanna make you feel good.”
Sensing your sensitivity and deducing how long it had likely been for you, Bucky slowly slid his middle finger through your slit, his eyes never leaving your face. He didn’t want to miss a single second of the way you nearly crumbled under his touch. Your eyes were half-lidded in pleasure as your body lurched forward at his slow, gentle intrusion, accompanied by a moan. He drank in the view, more gorgeous than he imagined you could be, back bowing at his touch. Bucky added another finger and the sensation of the cool metal against the heat between your legs was almost too much to handle.
Your legs began to shake as he slowly coaxed in a third finger, his thumb gently strumming your clit, deft fingers stretching your entrance. The feeling was overwhelming and pushing you impossibly close to an edge you hadn’t experienced in years at the hands of another.
“Jamie, Jamie it’s so much. So good. I’m so close.” It came out between hiccuping gasps as you tucked your face into his neck, throwing your arms around his muscular back and legs around his waist, pinning his hand between your bodies. You were clinging to him with your whole being as you reached your peak with a keen, pussy clenching his fingers almost painfully, but Bucky didn’t mind. He would’ve let you break his arm to see and feel the way he was wringing pleasure from the distant corners of your body right now. He continued to slowly pump his fingers against your walls, bringing you down from your high.
You would’ve collapsed onto the bed if Bucky hadn’t had a firm arm behind you, holding you to his chest where you had curled into him, as you gasped for air. You were finally able to pull your face away and look into his eyes again, his burning with desire and yours hazy with post-orgasmic bliss.
“Do you, uh, do you have a-“ Bucky’s eager nod cut you off as he pressed another sloppy kiss against your lips before slinking back off the bed and walking towards his bag in the corner of the room.
“I think so. Let me check.” Bucky hadn’t expected anything like this to happen over this month, so he definitely didn’t have a condom prepared. Perhaps his emergency one was still in his wallet, but he honestly wasn’t sure. He was pleasantly surprised to find it easily, rolling it on and coming back on the bed towards you.
As he hovered over you, you ran your hands along the scruff on the sides of his cheeks before pulling him down for another kiss. You could feel the weight of his hard length resting against your lower stomach, reaching down to stroke him gently. Bucky tensed at the sensation with a groan, throwing his head toward your shoulder and taking the opportunity to kiss your neck and down your collarbone before making his plea.
“Ride me, Honey. Need to feel you.”
You bit your lip nodding, complying with his request and moving to sit up as Bucky laid down against your pillows, right next to where you had just been sprawled out. You shuffled on your knees to straddle his hips, grinding down and letting his cock run through your folds, slick in preparation for him. You reached a hand down to perch his tip at your entrance, basking in the groan he let out at the sight. You slowly lowered yourself, the broad tip pushing your walls outward, pressure causing you to sharply gasp when he passed the threshold of your tight hole.
Your thigh muscles strained as you attempted to slowly but steadily lower yourself on his length, hyper aware of the delicious stretch of his thick cock inside you. The two of you sighed in relief as you bottomed out, nails gripping tightly into Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky held your hips as you adjusted to him, careful to not squeeze too hard from every time your tightness choked his dick. He fought the urge to throw his head back against the headboard, wanting to keep his eyes on you and where your bodies were connected. The sight of you splitting yourself open over him nearly made him come on the spot, but he tightened every muscle in his body again, trying to resist the urge. He only had one condom, after all, and he wanted to drag out this feeling for as long as possible.
He could see it on your face and feel your body start to relax as your nails gently scratched over his tattooed chest. You rocked your hips, testing the waters, and dragging a whine from both your lips. Your speed picked up, his hands continuing to guide you, finding a smooth rhythm that pulled moans, grunts, and gasps out of the two of you, until just like before, Bucky could feel you clenching again. He lowered his one hand, thumb finding your clit and rubbing tender circles, leading you both barreling towards a shared peak. Your hips stuttered and wavered with exhaustion, but Bucky continued guiding you with his firm, strong hand.
“C’mon Honey. You can do it. I can feel you’re close. Let go for me, sweet thing. Please. Come with me.” His voice was gruff, dripping with desire.
Your hands ran down the muscles of his torso and squeezed against his abs, nails digging in slightly. You used your last bit of energy to nod your head and urge him to help you along. Bucky planted his feet on the mattress, thrusting in tandem with the grind of your hips. You leaned down for a final kiss, wanting to be ever closer to him. As he gave into the gesture, it felt like everything hit you at once along with your shared orgasm: the sweet, tender moment, the reverence and respect he was treating you with throughout, and the fact that you didn’t know if it would ever happen again or if you’d see him after tomorrow.
Bucky came with a deep, but soft growl beneath you as he stroked your hair after you’d pulled away from his lips and tucked yourself into his neck again. He sat there, letting you cling to him for a second before he felt the unexpected wetness against his shoulder. Tears has started streaming down your face, and when Bucky caught a glimpse, his look was similar. Jaw clenched with water in his eyes.
The next morning, it was time for Bucky to go. The two of you had arranged it so you could have one last drive to the gas station together where you’d be meeting Gio.
Bucky convinced you to let him drive your truck for a final time, and you agreed, easily giving in to his request. He drove with the windows down, radio low on the dash, and one hand on the wheel. The other rested on your thigh while you clutched the arm attached to it against your chest and rested your head on his shoulder. His cheek was pressed against the top of your head. Bucky’s callused thumb made small circles on your skin as the breeze blew through the cab, paired with the warm glow of the early morning light, sun shining on your time together like it always had.
Next >
Bonus A/N: All this writing and this is the first time I’ve done smut for Bucky. I hope you enjoyed, I’d love to hear what you thought from a comment, reblog, or ask!!!
Series Taglist: @mrsnikstan @scuzmunkie @openup-yourmind @vicmc624 @hawkeyes-queen @blackhawkfanatic @morgthemagpie @buckybarnessimpp @calwitch @thesarcasmqueen-22
#bucky barnes#bucky Barnes x reader#bucky Barnes x you#bucky Barnes fanfiction#bucky Barnes smut#outta nowhere au#you catch more bees with honey series#outta nowhere#mob Bucky#mob Bucky smut#bucky Barnes x reader smut#mob Bucky x farmer reader#mob! bucky x farmer! reader#you catch more bees with honey#mafia Bucky#mafia Bucky x reader#mafia Bucky smut#farmer#farmer reader#Bucky Barnes fluff#soft!mob Bucky#fluff#Bucky fluff#mafia Bucky fluff
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Alastor's Shadow (18+) Chapter One
Pairing: Alastor x F!Reader, Alias: Thestral
Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest. Now, with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plans bring you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power…
Tags: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut
Word Count: 67+ and counting (of the whole fic)
Chapters: 10/??
Warnings: Minors DNI! 18+! May contain disturbing, gruesome, and graphic sexual scenes. Graphic violence. Blood. Obsession. Mentions of abuse. Mentions of substance abuse. Trigger warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter.
Link to Masterlist: Masterlist
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Author note: Hoteliers, This is my first attempt at a fanfic, but I was just so inspired and wanted to post it somewhere after writing like +67K words (and counting). So here goes nothing I guess?
<3 Stay Smutty
Chapter One - The Commercial
Content Warning: None but let me know if I missed any!
“Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear…” - Mahatma Gandhi
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Your fingers find the brass handle as anxiety builds in the back of your throat.
Are you nervous? Why are you nervous? The commercial seemed so inviting and everyone seemed so nice - even if it was a bit glitchy in some frames. If they are indeed as altruistic as they appear, then you’ll be fine!
But, what if they don’t accept you?
Nonsense, you just need to show that you care, that you can help. After all, Princess Morningstar wouldn’t turn help away, would she? You were there in the courtyard a few days ago when Heaven’s clock ticked down from one year to 6 months: 182 days right before your eyes. Damn… But it gave you an opening - a reason to repent as opposed to just showing up out of the blue and inventing some backstory in an attempt to explain your sudden desire to achieve redemption. It was an opportunity you couldn’t refuse.
“Okay, so the Extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal…”
As you stepped into the Hotel, you couldn’t help but be underwhelmed by the state of the place. From the outside it seemed big and glamorous - despite the random bits of cell phone tower and… was that a mast from a ship? On the inside, it was worse. Way worse. It wasn’t gross, it was an array of stuff… that was probably the best way to put it. The carpet was torn, the wallpaper peeling, parts of the wall had been tacked together with newer planks of wood to repair unknown sources of damage. It was… Well at least it didn’t smell… that bad…
Emerging into the foyer, small suitcase in hand - after all, you didn’t own much - you searched for the front desk, but the only thing resembling any sort of check-in area was a bar where a cat-bird thing was organizing bottles.
To your left was a small inlet before a fireplace, fit with television and radio where two demons sat, listening to a blonde haired bellhop pace.
“… well just handle it! Right!?” The girl grabbed at her hair.
No, not a bellhop. Princess Charlie Morningstar. God, she looked just like her dad. The only thing she got from Lilith was her height. Probably a good thing…
Your heart sank at the sight of her. Biting back the flood of memories threatening to spill down your face, you take a deep breath and enter.
“Yes,” a grey demon stood, a waterfall of dark hair brushed the floor as she walked. “We will.” She grabs Charlie’s shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing.
They still hadn’t noticed you. Was this eavesdropping? Were you being rude? That wouldn’t make for a great first impression.
You took a few hesitant steps forward hoping they’d hear your heels clack against the wood.
“Oh please,” the spider-looking thing sitting on the couch scoffed, staring down at his phone as he talked. “Ya’ had less than half a chance before you started all this salvation bullshit. And now… ain’t no silver linin’, toots.”
You cleared your throat, having practically snuck up on the group.
“Oh my gosh!” The blonde squeaked as the grey demon with ridiculously long hair pulled a spear on you, stepping before the Princess.
You dropped the suit case immediately, raising your arms to show you meant no harm.
“Who are you? What are you doing sneaking around?” She demanded.
Your eyes flit to the “X” eye patch, then to the silver tip mere inches from your nose.
Oh shit, this girl’s the Fallen. Relax, you accounted for that. So long as she doesn’t recognize you…
“I’m sorry!” You squeak, taking a half step back. She follows, her spear not leaving your face. “I tried making noise but you must not have heard me. I was just looking to check-in but…”
“Huh!” The Princess gasped so loud it made your ears pop.
Pushing the ex-Exorcist - huh, funny - aside the blond grabs your shoulders and squeezes. “Are you a guest!?” Her eyes sparkled.
“Well, yeah. I was hoping…” you didn’t get a chance to finish before she brought you into a hug so tight you couldn’t breathe. She lifted you off your feet and spun you in a circle before placing you back on the ground.
“Yay! Vaggie, our very first guest!” She sang.
“Hey!” The spider finally looked up from his phone. “I’m sittin’ right ‘ere ya’ know?”
Did he have six eyes or two? Hard to tell but the pink dots decorating his face blinked when he did.
Creepy.
“Okay, hun,” the Fallen drops her spear, taking Charlie by the arm in an endearing way, but you really knew it was to hold her back. “Let’s give our guest some space. Let her breathe. She can’t be redeemed if you suffocate her and she dies… Again.”
“Right,” she laughs, reigning herself in. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” Her arms fan out to the room, gesturing to the rundown establishment.
You musture a genuine smile, not because you’re impressed with the place but because the Princess’ happiness was infectious.
“My name is Charlie!” She takes your hand in hers.
“My name is Thestral,” you answer between the vigorous shakes rolling up your arm.
“Okay, that’s enough,” the Fallen pulls Charlie away from you. “I’m Vaggie. The guy on the couch is Angel and Husk is behind the bar.”
Angel gives you a mindless wave, frowning at something on his phone. The bar cat tips his hat to you before pouring himself a glass of whiskey.
Was the bartender supposed to drink the supply? Also, wasn’t it barely nine in the morning?
“Let me get your bag!” Charlie snatches the hardback suitcase before you have a chance to protest. Dragging you by the elbow, she insists upon a tour.
The Hotel was cute - if not a weird hodgepodge of thrown together dimensions. The bar was clearly cut from somewhere else, the piano room is definitely not of this century, and don’t get you started on the pool. All in all however, it was cute. You could see yourself here, in the library reading late at night with a glass of red, in the music room practicing your piano, on the back balcony enjoying the breeze and screams of innocents. It wasn’t perfect - nothing compared to the luxury you experienced before Hell - but it felt home-y.
“This is you!” Charlie pulls a key from her pocket as she stops before a door. “Angel is to the left and Alastor is just across the hall.” Grabbing your arm once more, she drags you inside.
It’s cute but humble - something you’d expect from a bed and breakfast and not a city hotel. The room is huge, with a four post bed wrapped in white sheets, neatly tucked into the sides military style. To your left is a small sitting area with a couch and coffee table. Past that were two doors, one leading to a small walk-in closet and the other a tile bathroom.
Frankly, coming from sharing a cramped city apartment in Cannibal Town to this was a huge step up as far as you were concerned.
“Here you are!” She dropped a black key in your hand, a cat’s eye decorating the handle. Finally, a room to call your own. “Nifty cleans on Sundays and…”
“Wait, my room gets cleaned?” You scrunched your nose in confusion.
“Of course! We don’t want you to have anything to worry about when you stay with us. Redemption is the goal, afterall!” Charlie sang.
That was going to be a problem…
Charlie stood staring at you for a long moment, her eyes sparkling in the low light. Her hands cupped her chin as she smiled at you with such emotion you were surprised her face didn’t split in half right there. She looked like a small child, waiting for a candy bar or something.
God, you didn’t realize how enthusiastic she would be about all this. Now is definitely not the time to tell her you had no intentions of being redeemed. You were just here for the chaos. Frankly, any normal person would feel guilty right about now, but not you.
Oh, you had far bigger plans for Ms. Morningstar, she just didn’t know it yet.
“Okay,” Vaggie steps up, grabbing her by the collar. “We’ll let you get unpacked. It’s Sunday so brunch is at eleven in the kitchen. We’ll come get you and show you the way. If you need anything there’s a rotary phone by the bed, just call Husk at the bar. He’s always there…”
“A rotary phone?” You scrunch your nose.
Sure enough, a black rotary phone sat on the bedside table. What century was this? Cannibal Town was stuck in the 1900s but at least they had cell phones.
“Yeah, the Hotel Manager is a bit outdated with his tastes…” Vaggie grumbles. You sensed tension in her comment but didn’t ask for further details.
“Anyway!” Charlie puts a hand on your shoulder. “We’re really, REALLY glad you’re here.” She breathed in your face, her voice cracking with the threat of tears.
God, she even had Lucifer’s mannerisms…
You huffed, blowing off the extra emotions her smile pushed into you. “Thank you for taking me in.”
Watching as the Exorcist pulled the Princess back down the hallway, you shut your door and collapsed against the wood.
“Fuck,” you breathed. Charlie was going to be someone you could only handle in small doses.
The Princess definitely didn’t recognize you and neither did Vaggie. She might be Hell Royalty but she was oblivious.
Did she know about Vaggie? Maybe she did and has already accepted it. This place is about second chances after all.
It didn’t take you long to unpack, after all you didn’t have many personal possessions. A few sets of clothes, some boots and heels, your toiletries and makeup… The suitcase was only half full when you packed it with every possession you owned. Now all you could do was stand before the mirror in the bathroom and stare at yourself as the anxiety began to build again. You fixed your red lipstick over and over until it drove you mad. Throwing the makeup back into your bag, your mind turned to your outfit.
You were dressed in black slacks which sat high on your hips, fanning out at your legs. Tucked into your waistband was a white button up, giving you the hourglass appearance. Your silver hair was twisted into a bun at the back of your head, a metal clip holding it in place. Your eyes seemed to glow in the dim light, your yellow irises emitting their own form of light.
Out of all the animalistic appearances in Hell, you were gifted the rare form of a somewhat normal human shape. No tail, no ears, no horns - well, in your normal state anyway. It was just you, with skin as pale white as Charlie’s and a nose tipped in black. You stood a normal five foot four, but in heels you could argue five and a half. You didn’t have canines as sharp and distinct as others, but hey who needed them? You preferred fighting with your hands, anyway.
Frankly, you were boring compared to the Sinners and Natives of Hell. The most interesting note was the tattoo which spanned your back from shoulder blades to your hips, but that wasn’t important at the moment.
Your mind returned to your clothes again. They were nice, nothing too flashy and definitely not Velvette brand, but were they too much? Weekend brunches in Cannibal Town were always such a classy affair, something you were expected to dress up for despite the messy array of food which was served.
Was that expected here?
As if on cue, a door opens in the hallway and footsteps echo across the carpet.
Perhaps you should ask.
Racing to the door, you peak your head out to find Angel heading to the stairs, his nose stuck in his phone.
���Uhm, excuse me?” You chirp. It was barely audible and he wasn’t paying attention but you were a new voice, which definitely drew him from whatever battle was playing itself out on his screen.
“Oh, hey!” He tucked the cell phone back into his pocket. His face contorted into a smile, he was doing his best not to show his frustration but it was still quite obvious. “They put ya’ right next to me aye?” He leans against the doorframe, one arm on the wall, the other three at his hips. “Just a fair warning. I can get a little loud. If ya’ know what I mean?” He winks at you, a knowing smile spreading across his sharp teeth as he elbows your side.
God, he was tall, he’d have to be like six foot three or something.
Up close, and with his attention fully on you, you could finally study his eyes: right eye sclera black, left white. Someone owned him, but with restrictive conditions.
You already knew the answer: Valentino. Hey, what can ya’ say? You did your homework.
“Do you guys dress up for brunch or is it more casual?” You smiled, doing your best not to stare at the pink dots blinking back at you on his cheeks. Still creepy.
“Oh, uh, I dunno, toots. I normally just go in whatever I have on.” He gestured to his pink striped shirt and long boots.
Casual it is then.
“But if ya’ prefer. I could go in nothing at all,” he purrs, his eyebrows wiggling at you suggestively.
You couldn’t help but giggle. You got the sense that it wasn’t genuine flirting. That he was trying to make you smile more than anything else. He enjoys entertaining others like that. Probably why he became a Porn Star - and such a famous one at that.
His face lit up at your laugh.
“Great, the wire in this bra is killing me!” You mime a pain in your back, eliciting a laugh from the spider demon himself.
“I like yous,” he holds out a hand to shake. “Names Angel Dust.”
“Thestral,” you shook his furry hand - he had so many, you wondered how he went shopping for shirts.
“Thestral? Like the dead horses from ‘arry Potter?”
“You know your JK Rowling?”
Angel had to have died in like the 40s/50s - from what research you did before coming here. How did he know about the books and movies made popular in the 2010s?
“Yeah, she ended up down here after she died. Kept writing weird shit about her characters. Really changed my views on the Potterverse. It was shocking for a while but you can only be so entertaining on Sinstagram and Vitter for so long these days.” He shrugged.
“Huh, for some reason that doesn’t surprise me, but thank you. The last place I lived, everyone was expected to dress for meals and I just wanted to be sure.”
“No problem, toots. If ya’ don’t mind me askin’, how long yous been down here? If ya’ didn’t know about the Potter thang, it couldn’t have been that long?” His accent: New York?
“Just shy of six years, actually,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously, feeling the bubbles beginning to fester inside you.
You’ve done work to gather information before, but you’ve never had to act like you were now. You were always behind a mask… How many details were too many to share?
“Oh, damn, just shy of being a Fleshy!” He smiles.
“A Fleshy?” You scrunch your nose.
“Yeah, the living or whatnot.” He pulls out his phone again, frowning at the notification screen before pulling up an app. Something was definitely bothering him. “Hey, whatcha say we head down a little early? I can pull up her Vitter page and show ya’ some good ones?” The spider demon smiled, frustration weighing down his eyebrows. He had a single gold tooth which sparkled in the low light.
“Sure!” You tried to respond not too excitedly.
This was the plan. Get in early with one of the Hotel mates and use it as a way to get information on the others.
You had thought it was going to be Husk. What bartender didn’t love gossip? But here was Angel offering himself up on a silver platter.
You only had about an hour before brunch was served, but those sixty minutes laying in the alcove by the fireplace were the most hilarious minutes of your life. Angel had you laughing so hard you were crying. Things were going well. Despite the constant text messages from Valentino you pretended not to notice chime across the screen.
At about eleven, a small girl named Nifty - who introduced herself as the housemaid - emerged from the kitchen to announce that brunch was ready, and as everyone piled into the room and found their designated places, you realized you didn’t know where to go. It was like being the new kid at school walking into the lunchroom with a sack lunch and not a friend in the world to rescue you.
“Hey” Angel waved you to the only available seat left, which just so happened to be at the head. “Sit next to me, will ya’?”
Relief.
“No! That’s Mr. Alastor’s seat!” Nifty protested from her place by the oven. Her entire body practically vibrated with energy.
“Mr. Alastor?” That name definitely did not come up in your research.
“Relax, Tiny. Smiles is on the terrace this morning drinkin’ his tea.” Angel leaned back in his chair, one set of arms folded behind his head. “What he doesn’t know won’t kill ‘em. Or maybe it will and we can finally be free o’ him and his creepy, ol’ timey ways. Either way, we’ll be fine.”
You blinked a few times before hesitantly falling into the seat. Nifty gave a great sigh as she watched you sit, not liking it but allowing it. She busied herself with serving platters of food, her lips twisted in a pout.
It’s a chair. You didn’t think it was that big of a deal? Maybe he was one of those people who was territorial with their things?
As you sat and passed the food around, you couldn’t help the hairs which prickled on the back of your neck. How could you have missed another guest at the Hotel? You swore you wrote down everyone you saw in that glitchy commercial and did thorough research before coming here. You were never this sloppy.
“Can I get you anything to drink, Thestral?” Charlie was at the fridge with five different bottles of liquid in her hand, eagerly awaiting your answer.
“Coffee would be great,” you smiled through a mouth full of eggs, one hand over your face to be polite. God, Nifty was a great cook. You usually never ate breakfast but this was amazing.
The Hotel inhabitants sat and talked like family. This place has only been open what? Two weeks? And already they got along like they’ve lived together for years. It was kinda cute actually but spelled issues for your plans. A close-knit group like this - especially so fast - only meant it was going to be harder to work your way in. Sure, Angel hung out with you for the past hour and you had a great time, but that was just surface level stuff. You were going to need to dig deeper.
“No! Nobody look at me,” Husk grumbled from a few seats down. “That machine is a nightmare.” He motioned to the silver espresso machine sitting on the corner countertop behind you.
It looked brand new, barely been touched! A machine like that probably cost hundreds and they weren’t using it?
“I’m sorry.” Charlie frowned from her place by the fridge. “We’ve had it for a while and no one can figure it out. Husk took a look at it last and although he tried, we got nowhere. Nifty bought beans for it and everything…”
A small smile found your lips, “Mind if I take a look?”
“Goodluck with that kiddo, that machine is cursed,” Husk buried his head in his arms, the orange juice in front of him bubbling with alcohol - which you would guess was more booze than orange at how much of his flask you saw him pouring into it earlier.
Seems like everyone knows, as no one glanced his way when it happened, but no one seemed to mind his drinking habits this early in the morning. Most likely a recurrent behavior then…
Husk was an old soul, probably the oldest one in this room. The cat had a history of gambling debts which mysteriously disappeared one day - the day he fell from power. You didn’t know the exact details but you heard it wasn’t pretty afterwards. The Vees swooped in pretty fast and gobbled up what remained of the fallen Overlord’s territory. It’s part of the reason they are where they are now. You wondered if the others knew about him? Maybe, seeing as how he’s found himself at the hotel built on second chances.
Taking the beans from Nifty, you quickly check over the machine. It’s a simple Breville Barista model, nothing too top of the line, but still a commercial appliance.
You wonder who they sent out on the errand to get this because they clearly had no idea what they were getting. This thing was meant for a high end coffee chain, to be used for hours straight, not sitting in a run down hotel’s kitchen. Regardless, you knew the model and how to use it.
Preheating the machine, you fill the grinder with beans before asking, “Hey Husk, pick your poison.”
He blinks at you a few times before answering. “Double espresso.”
Simple enough.
Clicking a single wall basket into the portafilter, you fill the metal device with ground beans before tapping it flat. Sliding it into the machine with a click, you grab two shot glasses and watch as the brew fills to the line, the fresh scent of chocolate, caramel, and nuts fill the kitchen. You pour both into a white glass and send it down the table to Husk who sits dumbfounded at the end of the kitchen. In fact, everyone had stopped eating completely to watch you work.
Anxiety bubbles in your stomach as you count the eyes boring into you.
Oh, fuck. You drew too much attention to yourself.
“Fuck, kid. This is good.” Husk chirps from the end of the table, having taken his first sip. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
“I worked at a cafe just outside Cannibal Town when I first got here,” you rub the back of your neck, an uncomfortable laugh escaping your lips. “They had a machine just like this, but far bigger.”
That was true. After you fell, you were set up with a place to stay and a job at the local coffee shop which sat inbetween Cannibal Town and the border zone. It didn’t only serve certain… appetites, but was meant for a wider audience. You served everything from finger cakes (yes, fingers in the cakes) to bagels and cream cheese alongside the coffee creations.
“Oooh, Cannibal Town. This kid’s got bite,” Angel laughs. “I didn’t know you swung that way.” The spider demon shovels another pile of eggs onto his plate. He ate a lot.
“Oh, no. Not really, I just happened to… land there.” Technically you weren’t lying.
That first day in Hell was brutal. You smacked into cement face first, a pile of blood and broken bones. Luckily the streets weren’t crowded, and you were found and taken care of before anyone even noticed.
“So you just stayed in Cannibal Town for fun?” Vaggie didn’t look impressed. In fact, she looked suspicious - ever the hypervigilant soldier she was designed to be.
“Well…” There it was, the rubbing on the back of your neck again. By the end of today, your skin was going to be raw.
God, why was this so much easier with a mask on?
“Hey!” Charlie cut in, clearly sensing your discomfort. “You don’t have to tell us.” She cups your hands within her own. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters. We can get to know you at your own pace. Don’t push yourself. Okay?”
You offer her a sweet smile.
Wow, the Princess was really buying your act - or lack thereof, by how anxious this job was making you.
“Now, do you know how to make a cappuccino?” She motioned back to the machine. You silently thanked her for the change in conversation.
A genuine smile formed on your lips, “what kind of milk?”
The rest of the brunch passed quickly after you showed off your artistic masterpiece that was to become Vaggie’s coffee. The Princess ordered the beverage for her girlfriend, and after making a butterfly out of the milk atop the bubbles everyone else quickly got in line and ordered their own.
It didn’t bother you, in fact it made you more comfortable. You got to observe their behavior and interactions as a silent third party noting the ways in which they teased each other.
Husk could be a grump but you got the sense that he was a big softie. You couldn’t tell if Angel was actually flirting with the cat demon or just pushing his buttons, either way, the barkeep slunked out, flask in hand, with red cheeks.
When the chair started rattling, Nifty was prohibited from drinking anymore caffeine. She put up a pretty good fight but as soon as she saw a bug, she took off after it, needle in hand.
Angel returned to the couch, face in his phone, clearly stressed about something.
After helping with the dishes - Charlie protested but you insisted - she invited you to join the three of them by the fire where you had found them earlier that morning. You didn’t really have anything else to do, other than to try and win over the Hotel natives.
You could go hide in your room - the Lord knows your social meter needed the break. The group was welcoming but was… a lot. Especially Charlie, but the Princess and Vaggie had questions about the commercial and how Sinners were handling the recent date change for the Extermination. You shrugged and offered whatever you could - which wasn’t a lot.
“They’re desperate,” you answered.
“That’s right, they’re desperate. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the Extermination,” Vaggie smiled, smacking her fist against her hand.
“Worked for me,” you shrugged, watching Angel from the corner of your eye.
Your heart melted a little for the spider demon. Valentino was known to be ruthless and manipulative - and the way he treated women… It was why you never took a job from the Overlord, let alone gave him a card. In fact, none of the Vees had your card. You didn’t like them, but you didn’t need to see how it affected Angel to decide that.
“This would be a perfect time to recruit more Sinners for the Hotel! We should get more rooms ready!” Charlie beamed. Of course she would find a way to spin this into something good.
“Cute idea and all, but are you really gonna go out in all this?” Angel turns his phone around, videos of the Doomsday Distract flash across the screen.
It was pretty chaotic, but when was that place not on fire?
“Well, it’s not like all Sinners are going to show up on our doorstep like Thestral did.” Charlie offered, motioning to you.
She wasn’t wrong…
BOOM!
Ah, perfect timing, Princess.
The entire Hotel rocked as dust and debris filled the foyer burning your lungs and eyes.
“Show yourself, Alassstor!” A voice echoed from outside.
The four of you ran to the now collapsed wall, veering into the streets to get a better look. Husk simply rolled his eyes and took another drink.
He was used to this?
Floating above the cobblestone streets was a yellow blimp equipped with an army of… eggs?
“Who are you?” A voice chimed from above, but it was… different - static-y…
“Who am I? Who am I?! I am the great Ssssssir Pentiousssss!” Deep within the zeppelin stood a black and yellow snake at the helm. He was dressed to the nines in army regalia.
Hmm, Sir Pentious? Had you heard of him before? You wracked your brain trying to think but nothing immediately came of mind. He had resources - clearly Carmilla Carmine supplies him by the brand on the metal - but was he a threat? He did put a hole through the building.
You spun studying his dirty work.
A missile? Sloppy, but still a step up from the lowest rung of demon.
“Inventor, architect of dessstruction, villain extraordinaire!” The snake twirls his arms, gesturing to himself and his work.
You scoff. Yeah right…
“Ooh you tell 'em boss!” The eggs chime.
What the fuck…? The eggs are sentient? Now that’s kind of interesting.
Testing the waters, you let an invisible finger of power slip from you and slither over to the zeppelin. It poked and prodded till it found a way through the metal before coming to rest by the snake demon’s tail. Gently, you caressed his form, searching for the power his soul possessed.
Yes, he definitely still had his soul, but from what you gathered - or rather, lack of what you gathered - this demon was no more a threat than a mosquito was to an elephant. But a better question was, what brought him here?
A chime of static fills the air, like little bolts of electricity, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.
What the…?
You spin, checking behind you to find the source of the static snaking its way down your spine, but no one was there.
Charlie yelps, bringing your attention back to the group, as a trail of shadow crawls between her feet, giving way to a demon in red materializing from the darkness.
How did he do that?
The demon’s back was to you, his attention fully on the blimp. You didn’t recognize his silhouette. His deer ears, hooves, and antlers were pretty iconic, but you didn’t know any demon like that. He wasn’t a Hellborn, his profile didn’t fit any of the creatures Hell bred. So a Human Sinner then?
The demon stood before you, a red suit complete with red-tipped black boots, and black slacks. His jacket was long, ending at his knees. The hair atop his head was cut cleanly, red and tipped in black, and tousled ever so perfectly.
Yeah, you had no idea who this guy was. Which did not sit well with you.
Nifty materializes on his shoulder. When had she slipped out here? “Ooh, he’s a bad boy,” the tiny demon sings.
Okay then…
The demon lifts her from his person and drops her gently onto the cement. “Ha, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you!”
His voice isn’t just static, it’s like a radio?
The snake drops his smile. “I attacked you literally last week.”
The red demon cocks his head.
“We've done battle, like... 20 times.”
The demon brings both hands to his staff. No, that’s not right, microphone? “Well, you must have been really bad at this.”
You snort, but do your best to stifle the giggle into your palm.
The demon stiffens. You swear you see his shadow elongate in your direction. A trick of the light? An hallucination? You look to Angel for direction but he’s too busy watching the interaction, clearly entertained.
“Silence! Now cower! For when I've ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal.”
Nifty reappears on the demon’s shoulder, garnering his attention. “Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?”
“Oh, nobody important,” the red demon sings.
Nobody important, eh? For someone to so easily dismiss the Vees like that they’d have to either be stupid or think themselves more powerful - in both cases, they’re stupid. I agree, independently, the Vees are more annoying than anything. One by one they weren’t a threat, but all three together…
Testing a theory, you let that tendril of power sneak from your core, and just as you had Sir Pentious, you let it slither to the base of the demon’s shoes. Delicately prodding…
SMACK!
A slap hits your power so hard it sends your head spinning. You fall backwards into Angel who wraps his arms under your shoulders to steady you.
“You okay, toots?” Angel whispers in your ear, your vision spinning.
Holy shit.
It was either the sheer force of the blow or the dizziness in its wake, but you swore you saw faces laughing at you in the shadows.
“Uh,” you shake your head, willing the sting to subside.
Jesus, what was that? You’ve never had a reaction like that before…
“I think so?” You find your feet. “Just all the excitement… Caught me off guard.” You give him a fake laugh. He shrugs it off.
What the fuck…?
The next thing you know, Charlie’s grip is on your arm. “I promise it’s not always like this!”
From the corner of your eye, you see Vaggie shake her head. “Yes it is..” she grumbles before swearing under her breath in… Spanish?
Patting Charlie’s arm, you assure her that it doesn’t bother you. That Cannibal Town - and anywhere else in Pentagram City for that matter - were far worse than this place. Which was true. The only place you could get any peace and quiet was the Wrath Ring - way out in the country. Not that you’d been to the Wrath Ring… Technically…
The attention is finally turned away from you when an array of tendrils shoots from the red demon’s form. They descend upon the blimp, shredding it to pieces. The eggs spark into a panic as their helmsman desperately shouts commands.
Maniac laughs bubble in the demon’s chest as he slowly gets to work. It takes a moment before you realize it, but he isn’t taking his time because he has to, he’s doing it to toy with the snake demon. He enjoys the destruction.
You watch as the tension in the demon’s shoulder slowly diminishes with each attack. The pure enjoyment brings a small smile to your lips.
So this guy enjoys chaos just as much as you do, huh?
“Um… Alastor!”
Ah, so this is the famous Mr. Alastor?
The Princess slowly approaches the demon, but it isn’t fear you smell wafting off her person, it’s… anxiety? “I think he’s had enough.”
Vaggie is on Charlie’s heels in an instant, her hands flying to her back to summon her spear just in case.
So little Ms. Morningstar wasn’t afraid of him, but Vaggie sure as Hell doesn’t trust him. Interesting.
“Nah. He’s got a few more hits in him.” Angel crosses his arms, clearly entertained by the onslaught. Despite the chaotic scene before us, his eyes occasionally flit to the red demon - keeping him within eyesight.
Hmm, Angel didn’t trust him either.
You take a step forward but Angel pulls you back, shaking his head.
The snake demon falls from the zeppelin, landing face first with a smack on the pavement. You couldn’t help but grimace. That had to hurt.
Alastor twirls his staff - microphone? - as an egg falls and breaks into pieces at Charlie’s feet.
“Thanks for another forgettable experience!” He sings.
Okay, that you do laugh at. This guy was pretty witty, you had to give it to him.
The four Hotel Natives shoot you a look of disbelief as you giggle into your hand. Looking between you and the red demon, fear slowly etching across their brows.
Alastor’s shoulders stiffen as he turns, finding the source of giggles rumbling through your chest. His smile is pulled taut across his cheek, but the look he gives you… it wasn’t confusion necessarily swimming behind his eyes, more so like he didn’t know what to think.
The giggles die down as your cheeks heat under his gaze.
Was he not used to people finding him funny?
“Thank you… For letting your guard down!” The snake’s tail whips forward and rips the corner of Alastor’s suit from his person. A small chunk of fabric gives way. “Aha! Yah!” The snake celebrates before noticing the purely demonic smile overcoming the red demon’s face. “Oh, shit…”
The red demon’s antlers grow as an aura of green overtakes the atmosphere. From his microphone an explosion of green bursts through, sending the snake demon flying across Pentagram City.
Hmm… Why didn’t he just kill him? He’s just gonna come back. The mosquitos always do.
“Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor!” The demon inspects his jacket. Despite his jovial attitude, you could see the irritation in his eyebrows.
A mask. This demon was wearing a mask.
Finally, now that the chaos was over, you had a chance to inspect the red demon. He must have felt your eyes on him, for when he finally looked up, his gaze was locked with yours. Your cheeks heated under the pressure of his gaze. His eyes, glowing like red crystal in direct sunlight, made your legs feel heavy and your chest tight.
Was it getting harder to breathe or was it just you? Are you… Are you intimidated right now? No. You’ve never been intimidated by a demon in your life. Angels maybe, but never a Human Sinner. What was wrong with you?
“And who might this be?” Your heart fluttered at the purr in his voice.
Twirling his microphone behind his back, he took a step towards you, standing tall at his full height. He had to be an entire foot taller than you, now cast in his shadow. It felt eerily colder in the shade, but there was something else there too. An extra presence you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
The demon was dressed to the nines. His red suit perfectly tailored to his form. It splayed out around his hips, accentuating a waist line supporting a broad chest. His hair was cropped short around his angular face, his eyes half-lidded as they bore into you. The red of his irises practically glowing. He was a classy demon, clearly not of this century. He regarded you with a sense of curiosity - an aura of green still lingered, however. It was meant to intimidate you, not necessarily threaten you.
Okay, this guy thinks he’s tough shit, huh?
Before Charlie had a chance to intervene, you thrust your arm forward, meeting his eyes, not backing down to his overwhelming sense of self importance.
“Thestral, pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Alastor.” You offer him a soft smile.
You took the shift of stiffness in his shoulders to mean that you had made the wrong move. This was a demon who carried himself quite highly - probably used to lesser demons cowering in his presence, not laughing at his jokes or meeting his eyeline let alone offering their hand first. At that, he didn’t know what to make of you, which made you dangerous. Which made you a target of interest.
Shit.
Day one and you’re already fucking up the whole “lay low” part of the plan.
“Oh, darling, you flatter me,” he takes your hand. “Just Alastor will do.”
A shiver rolls down your spine as the tips of his claws scrape across your skin, so sharp they could cut flesh. They probably have, but you weren’t worried. He couldn’t hurt you anyway. Not really.
“Well, ‘Just Alastor,’ thank you for the entertainment.” You cross both arms behind your back mimicking his stance. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Angel’s jaw drop.
“Of course! I live to please! I’m not the Hotel Manager for nothing!” There it is again, a small shift in his body language. He didn’t know what to make of your lack of fear.
The static is interrupted by a laugh track, sounding as if from a live studio audience - from a radio.
“So does that mean you’re going to do you’re job?” Vaggie takes a step forward, motioning to the half destroyed wall of the Hotel.
“Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already! What would the papers say?” With a snap of his fingers, black ink demons appear with construction tools.
Five. Five faceless demons. Which means he owns at least five souls. But that was not nearly enough power to equate to the destruction you had just witnessed.
By the time you turn back to him, he’s already strolling down the cobblestone path and off into Pentagram City. You couldn’t help still feeling watched, however, like the sensation of his red eyes still on your form, but nowhere to be found.
You spun but again, no one was watching you.
“Word of advice, stay away from him,” Vaggie crosses her arm in Charlie’s, ready to lead her back inside.
“Yeah, Hairclip,” Angel Dust appears behind you, poking at the silver metal in your hair. “You got a lot of balls on you to stand up to that one.”
“What does that mean?” You scrunch your nose in confusion.
“Well…” Charlie takes a step forward, touching the tips of her fingers together with anxiety. “Alastor can be a little…”
Before she has a chance to respond, Vaggie and Angel offer suggestions.
“Creepy.”
“Unpredictable.”
“Insane.”
“Murderous.”
“Bloodthirsty.”
“Aren’t those basically the same thing?” Angel shrugs.
“He’s a bad boy,” Nifty chirps by your ankle.
Where did she come from?
“Temperamental,” Charlie offers with an awkward smile.
Why did that not feel like a compromising adjective?
“The point is, Alastor is dangerous. It would be best not to poke and prod him too much,” Vaggie runs a hand through her ridiculously long hair, huffing.
Poke and prod… Shit! Shit! Shit! That force I felt slap my power away earlier, was that him? Did he know it was me? No! No! No! This wasn’t good. This was anything but good.
The blood melted from your face.
“Hey toots, you don’t look so good. Maybe we should get ya’ back inside?” Angel’s arm comes to rest on your shoulder, leading you towards the doors. “Don’t sweat it too much. He’s harmless as long as you’re not a threat. He won’t lay a finger on ya’, we won’t let him. Right gurls?”
“Right.” They chime as you made your way through the double doors.
This job just got a lot more complicated…
SCREECH!
“What the fuck is that?” Husk yells from behind the bar, his claws over his ears.
The television by the fireplace hisses, having turned itself on.
“Welcome home!” The box sang. “I’m going to make you wish that you stayed gone!”
The screen jumped through a few stations of fuzz before settling on a news broadcast. Vox, the media demon, sat behind a reporter’s desk, going on and on about… the Radio Demon?
As if in response, the radio in the foyer screams to life, making the five of you jump.
“Salutations! Good to be back on the air!” You recognized the old timey voice as Alastor’s.
“What the fuck is goin’ on!?”Angel screamed over the noise.
Vaggie ran over to the television and ripped the cord out of the wall. No good, the television continued to flash images of Vox screaming as if he could hear and respond to Alastor’s radio.
The Exorcist fisted the cord in frustration before pulling her spear from the Void. Charlie stopped her, however, preventing her from destroying the only piece of real technology in this building besides the coffee maker.
The Hotel Natives and you were subjected to the torture that was Alastor’s and Vox’s tantrum, until finally, they both shut down.
“Holy Jesus, what the fuck was all that about?” Angel screamed, his ears ringing from the noise.
“Fucking Vox and his ego,” Husk grumbled from the bar. The cat poured himself a drink.
“Ahhhhhh!” A eardrum splitting scream pierced the air, making you all, yet again, jump and cover your ears. Vaggie ran to the radio and shut it off rescuing whatever was left of your hearing from… well, whatever the fuck that was.
“Was that part of Alastor’s bit?” Angel asked the room.
No one answered, for no one knew the answer. Seems Alastor is a big mystery around here.
“Drink anyone?” Husk raised a bottle of whiskey in question.
Fuck, after that you needed one. Silently cursing yourself for your lack of thoroughness in your research, you joined the bar cat.
You huffed as you sat on the stool.
“You good?” Husk asked, pulling out a menu.
“Yeah,” you rubbed your temples, willing the forming headache away. “Just a lot of homework to do.”
____________________________________________
It was late, the sky turning towards darkness as opposed to its usual red light.
The Greed Ring always smelled like metal to you. Not copper, like blood, but like the cold steel of coins. You weren’t in the Greed Ring, of course. Sinners couldn’t travel out of Pride - technically. Yet the stench clung to them nevertheless.
You landed at the bottom of the cement path leading to the mansion, outside the gates.
Normally your meetups were discreet, often conducted in the shadows of terraces, rooftops, or alleyways. Oh so rarely did people invite you inside.
But not this time. This employer loved appearances so much so that he rented out a mansion on the edge of town just for this: a meeting that would last five, ten minutes tops. The vanity of Greed…
The demons next to you jumped as black smoke began to curl away revealing a hooded figure.
“I believe I am expected,” a deep voice growled from beneath the fabric. Concealed in shadow, the shark demons opened the gate to let you pass, their guns shaking in their hands. Nearing the door, another set of demons stepped to the side, their eyes filled with fear.
Ugh, how you so enjoyed the scent of terror as it wafted in waves from their forms. Pathetic, honestly.
You found Crimson sitting before his fire, a glass of whiskey in hand, his hat set on the table next to him. The imp rubbed the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb, clearly it had been a long day. The servant standing next to him, whiskey bottle and towel in hand, leans down to alert him of your presence.
“Huh? What?” The crime lord jumps to his feet. “Already!?” He lets out a joyous laugh, before finding his hat and setting it between his horns.
Out of the corner of your eye, the waiter slinks from the room. The liquid in the whiskey bottle jostling as he shakes in fear.
“Chaz is swimming with the fishes already, aye!?” Both hands grabbing the lapels of his suit jacket, he stands before you, offering you a seat at the end of the table. Sliding into the head chair, he offers you a drink, which you refuse of course.
He takes a long sip of his whiskey, letting the burn sink in before continuing. “Did he suffer?”
You frowned. No questions. He knew this. That was part of the deal. It was always part of the deal.
“Ah, come on, can’t fault a guy for trying?” He laughs, but you aren’t amused.
As if on cue, a shark demon enters the room, dropping a suitcase onto the table before skittering out of the room. Crim opens the case and turns it towards you to reveal fat stacks of cash lining the case’s bottom.
“It’s all there, I assure you.” He lights a cigar and leans back in his chair. “Pentagram City currency, not the Native stuff.”
You ignore the money. You knew it was all there. You knew none of the bills were traceable. Crim was a pro when it came to moving money around. You didn’t have to worry about covering your tracks from this job like the last ones. Honestly, you didn’t deal in money that often. Your trade was in souls, but Crimson was a Hellborn, and head of a mafia gang at that. You’ve never done business with a Hell Native, so you were hoping your reputation was enough of a threat to keep him quiet.
But, the money wasn’t why you took this case.
You narrowed your eyes at him, knowing he could see their yellow glow - the only part of your face anyone ever saw - before slipping a black gloved hand from your cloak. His eyes find your fingers, uncurled before him expectantly, as the scent hits your nose.
Fear.
You knew this diphsit wasn’t stupid enough not to be afraid of you. Was it the sight of your claws? Or the red still staining the leather?
“Right. Right.” He dug into the hidden pocket of his jacket, producing an obsidian calling card. The flames from the fire flicker across its metal surface as he holds it out to you.
Finally, you had won this card back. It had taken forever to track it down after the last person you entrusted it with lost it in a game of cards. Of all the things to wager! You’d have killed the demon, but senseless death wasn’t part of your repertoire.
The card disappeared from the Pride Ring soon after, passing amongst the hands of Hell as it made its way downwards. It eventually became useless, a piece of metallic junk which eventually landed in Crimson’s hand. He figured out what it was, of course he would. He had eyes and ears everywhere - even in the Sinner’s Ring. So when he appeared in Pride a week ago and summoned you in the dead of night you knew you had to do whatever you could to get the calling card back.
Even if it meant taking down a low level mark and solving some petty personal drama. The calling card now safely tucked away in the leather of your shirt, you stood and made your way to the door.
“Ain’t you gonna take the money?” Crim motioned to the suitcase still sitting open on the table.
With a flick of your wrist the case closed, locked itself, and slipped into the Void.
As you exited the room you could hear the imp demon call out after you, “Pleasure doing business with yous!”
Crim was known to be a man of his word, or he’d soon find himself a dead man…
Link to Chapter Two!
Masterlist Link: Masterlist
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𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞
*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Connor Rhodes x Fem!Reader.
• Requested: yes by anon.
• Summary: Connor shows his possessive and jealous side and you love every bit of it.
• Warnings: jealousy, few curse words and I don’t know what else, please let me know if I missed any lol.
• Word count: 1930.
• A/N: I’m not sure about this one but here it is anyway since I was too lazy to write it all over again 😭 I hope you’ll like it, looking forward for your opinion. Comment, like and reblog, it’d would mean the world 💕 I love you all xx
Connor's first case since coming back to Med’s was fairly simple.
He thought that day would go uneventful. He thought.
An elementary school girl was taken to the ER after her teacher called 911 because of an intense abdominal pain and after an ultrasound it turned out to be a case of acute appendicitis.
“She’ll need surgery, where are the parents? We need their consent,” Connor had asked Natalie while they examined the little patient who was still writhing in pain. She was given a small dose of morphine to calm some of her excruciating pain.
At that same moment Maggie entered the room and Connor glanced at her as he tried to calm the little girl, whose name turned out to be Daisy. “Her teacher is here and asked about a doctor.”
“I'll talk to her,” Connor said and Natalie nodded.
Connor and Maggie exited the patient's room and his gaze fell on a figure near the nurses' station who was filling out some forms.
He tried to keep an expression as serious and impassive as possible even though internally a flock of butterflies had just exploded in his stomach.
There was no need to even take a double take, he would’ve recognized that figure even in a crowd of thousands of people. After all, how could he not recognize his own girlfriend?
You were a teacher and taught science in an elementary school but what were the chances that you would’ve been the little girl’s teacher?
You and Connor had been together for about few months them so none of his colleagues knew you existed yet. He had to act like he didn’t know you, like he didn’t want to breathtakingly kiss you right then and there.
He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over your body suppressing the innate desire to approach you and grab your ass like he always did.
He approached the nurses' station, hands shoved in his uniform pocket. “Ma’am.”
Your heart skipped a beat when you heard not a voice but his voice. You immediately tried to suppress the smile that threatened to appear on your face as well as the urge to giggle since he knew how much it annoyed you when he’d call you ‘ma’am’.
“It’s ‘miss’, actually.”
You said when you turned to him, pen still in your fingers as you gave him a polite smile and chuckling to yourself when you saw Connor press his lips together in an attempt not to burst out laughing.
“Nice to meet you miss, I’m doctor Rhodes. I’m treating Daisy.”
Your eyes quickly scanned his body, trying to maintain composure and not blush like a fourteen year old when thoughts about you and him in his bed that morning crept into your mind.
“How is she, doctor?” You asked, failing miserably at not giving him a little mischievou smile.
“Unfortunately I cannot discuss my patient's health status with people outside of her family. I wanted to ask you if you have by any chance notified her parents? We need to talk to them,” he replied in a professional tone although the way his eyes shone as they spoke to you and the way he couldn't help but check you out gave him away.
Maggie and April, who were there at the time and witnessing your conversation, couldn't help but exchange a knowing look.
They had both thought the exact same thing.
There was no way you and Connor didn't know each other.
It was so obvious and even funny how you both tried to maintain a professional and unemotional facade. But the way he looked at you, the way his eyes had never left yours, the way his body was totally turned towards you and in which he seemed to be imperceptibly drawn continuously towards yours had revealed there was no way in hell that he didn't know you.
But it was also how your head was tilted slightly as you spoke to him, how you kept touching your hair, how you batted your eyelashes and the shadow of a smile that never left your lips that had given definitive confirmation that you two knew each other very well.
And not talking about the fact you two were blatantly flirting.
“I came here in a hurry so I didn't have time to call them, but I'll do it right away,” you had said and Connor had nodded, trying to keep himself from following you with his eyes as you walked away to make the call but failing miserably.
“Connor oh my god! What was that?!” April screamed/whispered, approaching Connor with Maggie, a look of pure surprise and amazement on both their faces. “You know her?!”.
Connor shrugged nonchalantly. “N-no of course not.”
“Oh come on we saw the way you looked at each other, you clearly know her and there is definitely something going on!” Maggie retorted.
“She's just a good looking woman, that's all,” Connor remarked even if ‘good looking’ didn’t even come close to how gorgeous you were.
All his attention though had shifted from Maggie and April for a moment, his eyes falling on the two doctors that were talking as they looked through some patients' medical records.
He saw the direction of their gaze, hearing the comments about the object – or rather the person – that had attracted their attention.
“Man if she was a stripper I would’ve spent my whole salary on her, did you see that ass?”. One of them had confessed to one of them while he was pretending to fill out the medical records even though he was watching you like a hawk while you were talking on the phone.
“I would’ve never skipped a class if I had a teacher as hot as her,” the other continued laughing.
“You think she has someone?”.
“Oh I hope not, but if it is he is a damn lucky bastard.”
Connor clenched his hands into two fists, almost having a brain aneurysm.
A wave of jealousy washed over him, every cell of his body exploding with anger at hearing the words directed towards you who unawarely continued to talk on the phone.
His jaw clenched as he struggled to stay calm, but God how much he wanted to beat the shit out of those two sons of bitches. He hated the way they looked at you, the way they made those disgusting comments about your body.
He hated it so much because that was the way he looked at you.
He was the only one who could make those comments about you, the only one who could have those sinful thoughts about you, the only one who could touch and admire you.
Your ass, your legs, your smile, your laugh, that twinkle in your eyes when you looked at him, that body, all of this were his.
It was as if his mind had gone into blackout, as if all his reasoning, judgment and common sense had just flown away because now all he could do was imagine the bastards' heads banging against the wall over and over again.
Drastic? Perhaps. Excessive? Probably. But Connor didn't give a fuck.
And it was in fact at that precise moment that he did something he’d never have thought of doing for anyone.
“Daisy's parents are…-” you announced as you ended the call and walked back to the nurses' station but stopped on your tracks when Connor came towards you, and a confused expression appeared on your face.
Your eyes widened and you almost had a heart attack when he grabbed your face and crushed his lips on yours.
He didn't give a shit.
Neither that you both were keeping your relationship a secret anymore, nor that you were in the middle of the ER, nor that everyone at that moment had stopped to witness that scene.
He wasn’t thinking clearly and in that moment it was that part of him with which he had never come face to face before that controlled him, that primitive and caveman part he was hating so much.
Even though that gesture had taken you completely by surprise, your body reacted before your mind could even understand what was happening, so you kissed him back, feeling your breath stopping in your lungs. Your hands slid up his chest and fisted his uniform as he wrapped his arms around your hips, sliding his hands down to your ass.
He didn't care he’d receive an endless scolding for what he was doing, he didn't care about the voices that commented the scene, he didn't care that everyone saw his hands squeezing your ass.
He didn't care because he wanted them to see, he wanted everyone to know you belonged to him, that he was the only one who could kiss you, fuck you, squeeze that stripper ass, that loved you.
You broke away from the kiss before the situation could escalate, your heart pounding and your legs shaking like jelly. “Babe oh my god…-”.
“You’re mine, you know that right?” He whispered. “Only mine.” His hands moved up from your ass back to your face and his thumbs caressed your cheekbones before placing a small kiss on his lips. “And I love you.”
Woah hold on.
Did he fucking say ‘I love you’? In an ER?
Wait. Connor loves me?
You looked at him in shock but you didn't have time to process and figure out what the hell was going on because he grabbed your hand and led you back towards the nurses' station, where Maggie and April's jaws were now on the floor.
“Meet my girlfriend, Y/n,” he announced, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close as you were about to faint. Your heart was beating so fast you feared you’d need a defibrillator to revive you sooner or later.
You were so shocked you couldn’t elaborate a word, fuck you couldn’t even think about one.
Connor's eyes focused on the two doctors that had been talking about you until recently but who at that moment were looking around embarrassed.
“You wanted to know if she was taken? Yes, she is. I’m the lucky bastard who gets to have her and now let me hear one more thing about my girlfriend, I fucking dare you.”
You looked with confusion at your boyfriend, then at the doctors he was glaring at, and then back at him. You had no idea what he was talking about and you were so dazed and confused that your mind didn't know what to process first.
From the way Connor’s hand was gripping your hip, the way he held you so close to him, and the way he glared at the two doctors, you imagined it was somehow about you. And although the embarrassment of being the center of attention made you want to be swallowed by the floor, you couldn't help but feel… Flattered.
Was this the right word?
You didn’t know.
You couldn't even describe it, but that jealous, protective side of him lit a fire inside you that burned every single fucking cell of your body.
You knew Connor always had this protective instinct towards you but knowing he had ‘marked his territory’ so blatantly, just to stop whatever they were saying, made you giggle to yourself like a teenage girl.
It was so damn hot and sexy, more than you would’ve ever expected.
And instead of thinking about how out of place or inappropriate that gesture was, the only thing you could think about as you looked at Connor was how good he was going to get it that night.
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Cazador's Ritual Runes, Translated
Inner: AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR [sic] Middle: WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE Outer: WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD [sic]
Mephistopheles can't spell for beans.
(Detailed analysis & conjecture regarding this text, the Rite of Profane Ascension, & Astarion's translated scars under the cut.)
The second ring was the easiest, as the characters are very similar to Latin letters and clearly read out "WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE." Characters were now known for C, E, F, H, I, L, O, R, T, and W. It wasn't clear yet if there were cases.
I was struggling with the first ring, though after decoding the second, I could get a likely "_M_LIF_ + _IM + _LOW + EM_OWR". Guessing the character for P, Y, and A based on context gave me "AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR", but I had doubts over the first characters for words two and three. I suspected they would be HIM and FLOW, but the H and F characters didn't match the H from the second ring's "THE" or the F from "AMPLIFY". Also, "empower" was misspelled, which made me pause.
Abandoning those for a moment, the third ring mapped well onto "WE _ATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE _OWER OF _LO_". Ruling out known letters which were not present, I could guess "WE GATHER HERE TO I__O_E THE POWER OF _LO_", but again the P from "POWER" was not the same as the P from "AMPLIFY" in the inner ring. However, it was very, very similar, and nothing else fit, so I committed, now suspecting there were capital versions of some letters included in the text.
At this point I went digging for resources. I found a copy of an Infernal alphabet on the Forgotten Realms wiki, and while it looks like the typeface Larian used is a bespoke creation for the game rather than a 1:1 copy of this alphabet, the letters for lowercase G, N, K, B, and D were nearly identical. Y (from AMPLIFY) also matched perfectly, confirming that earlier guess. This gave a clear "WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD."
This resulted in: AMPLIFY + _IM + _LOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD
Looking at the wiki for capital letters, the only ones I could find which might reasonably fit the _IM missing character (assuming the Larian alphabet was based off this wiki typography) were A, B, H, O, T, V, and Y. Of those choices, only AIM, HIM, TIM, and VIM were words, and as cheesy as Cazador is, I couldn't imagine him saying AMPLIFY TIM FLOW EMPOWR. Given the alternatives, HIM was the only choice which made sense.
I went through the same process for _LOW, but this character seems unmatchable to me. By far it looks the most like the E from the Infernal alphabet, with maybe a capital Y being a distant second. However, ELOW and YLOW are certainly not words, and absent all other comparatives, the character in question does resemble a fancy F. Barring other languages, FLOW with a capital or unique F fits best.
AMPLIFY + HIM + FLOW + EMPOWR WE OFFER THE FORCE OF LIFE WE GATHER HERE TO INVOKE THE POWER OF BLOD
I did double-check the texts available in Cazador's mansion just to make sure this hadn't been translated elsewhere (after I'd done all the work, of course), and the only written text of relevance is from the Black Mass scroll you find near Vellioth's skull. It reads:
The Rite of Profane Ascension Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead! Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler. The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined. A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power. Deliver the souls. Speak the words. Ecce dominus, Has animas offero in sacrificio, Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.
The Latin translates (as best I can tell with my incredibly weak Latin) to:
Behold [the] Lord, I offer these souls in sacrifice, I want the power thou hast promised me.
Which is interesting, but not clearly mapped to the Infernal above. Then I started wondering what relationship Astarion's scars have with all this, but thankfully, someone else has done the work here!
Astarion's scars have been transcribed and translated in a wonderfully detailed Reddit post by northpaw_s in 2020, but the salient points are that they appear to be in a mishmash of mangled Latin and Romance languages ("Infernal") and read:
Hoyc inferiu non iurare per igneu Naec virba loquor Eoai mundo muoat
Which appears to roughly translate to:
This soul swears no oath by fire Nor words does he speak In the realm of death
This makes sense if it's a fragment of a contract. I suspect the other spawn's scars are all identical to Astarion's for game mechanics/development reasons, but it'd be wild if they did have minor differences to complete the rest of the phrases! I know the scars don't show on their backs they way they do on Astarion's outside of the moment of the ritual, but it really does make me wonder if there's a complete text of the poem in some writer's documentation somewhere.
Anyway, what did you do with your Thursday night?
#astarion#cazador#no wonder the rite was so secretive mephistopheles didn't want anyone to know he's a terrible speller#baldur's gate 3#plus a lot of talk about astarion's scars' meaning & the rite's text#puzzles! neat!#i don't know what to tag this so i'll be able to find it again#quark plays bg3#quark rambles#each phrase is repeated three times on each ring by the by
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fuck it incorrect quotes
Horror: "I lost a bet." Horror: The second-most ominous phrase in existence. Killer: What's the first? Horror: "Let's make a bet."
Horror: I am a ninja. Cross: No, you’re not. Horror: Did you see me do that? Cross: Do what? Horror: Exactly.
Killer: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start! Killer: I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee. Nightmare, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.
Killer: BE A BETTER PERSON! Dust: WHY?! Killer: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
*Killer is helping Nightmare break out of prison* Killer: Sooo… Does this make us partners in crime? Nightmare: Don’t push it. Killer: Oh my gosh, we can be like Harley Quinn and the Joker! Nightmare: If you don’t stop talking, they’re adding “murder” to the charges.
Nightmare, to Cross: Please, picking locks is my specialty. Nightmare: *throws a brick through the window* Nightmare: Okay, let’s go.
Horror: What’s your biggest fear? Dust: I am incredibly arachnophobic. Horror, under their breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?
Killer: Are you alright? Nightmare: Short answer or long answer? Killer: Short? Nightmare: No. Killer: Long? Nightmare: Nooooooo.
Cross, gently nudging Horror aside with their foot: Horror, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you. Horror, her eyes enormous: You kick Horror? You kick her body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Cross! Jail for Cross for one thousand years!
Nightmare, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset! Cross: Nightmare, dude, sit down! Tell us all about it. Dust, would you get Nightmare some water? Dust: What is he gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?
Killer: Cross, we tried things your way. Cross: No, we didn't. Killer: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
Cross: You spent all our money on THIS?? Dust, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.
Cross: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk? Horror: It's Dust's turn. Dust: Don't die. Killer, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.
Killer: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Cross: Well, it’s frowned upon. Killer: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? Killer: That’s okay, right?
Dust, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing? Nightmare: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language. Dust: Dust: Water you doing?
Killer: And here we see Dust and Horror in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make each other laugh. Dust: Gaelic bread. Horror: Grueling brad. Dust: Ha ha, glamorous beans.
Dust: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Dust, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Nightmare: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Dream: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Nightmare: Mean.
Nightmare: You're alive. Dream: There's no need to sound so disappointed.
Nightmare: I got an idea! Dream: Does it involve breaking the law? Nightmare: By now don’t you think that’s a given? Dream: I was just trying to be optimistic. Nightmare: Don’t bother.
Nightmare: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Dream: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Nightmare: Okay yeah thanks Dream, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?
Nightmare: Hey, thanks for checking in, I’m ✨still a piece of garbage✨
Error: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. Blue: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.
Nightmare: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Dream: We’re not friends. Nightmare, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.
Nightmare, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.
Nightmare, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea? Dream: Tea. Nightmare: Wrong. It's coffee.
Nightmare: I failed my safety training course today. Dream: Why, what happened? Nightmare: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Dream: And? Nightmare: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.
Ink: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! Ink: *sprays hairspray in their mouth* Ink: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.
Nightmare: I won a new phone in a race. Dream: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, Nightmare? Nightmare: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.
Dream: Why are you on fire? Nightmare: This is just how my day is going.
Nightmare: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Dream: You mean glory days? Nightmare: Ah, that too.
Blue: I trusted you! Error: Why?
Ink: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
#whoopsies i'm pushing my transfem horror agenda#not art#not dragons#not tapeworms#incorrect quotes#utmv#dream sans#nightmare sans#blue sans#swap sans#underswap sans#error sans#ink sans#dust sans#killer sans#cross sans#horror sans#bad sanses#murder time trio#yellow yaps
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Me reading this book is like trying to pin things to a cork board with red thread but the things I'm trying to pin down are fog and they vanish before I can grasp them.
Here's a visual representation of me finishing a chapter:
previously, in harrowbeenie the ninth:
this happened
currently, after chapter 5 (you're gonna have to be patient with this one):
we're moving back and forth between the second and third person
knowing now the content of the letters that yandere twin had talked about in the prologue, it makes some sense
but we aren't there yet
I need to point out something I don't think I specified enough last time
ice cube barbie changed eyes
people be changin' eyes here
she used to have eyes like harrow and now she has, and I quote: "ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony, her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow, as amber as the inside of an egg"
this is from gideon's last ch.: "Gideon's eyes, as they always did, startled her: their deep, chromatic amber, the startling hot gold of freshly-brewed tea"
just gonna leave that there
but now, moving forward...or backwards to ch. 3 flashback of sorts
we got a recap of most of the events we knew, but in a gideon-less ver.
I'm gonna also point out that harrowbean mentions her mother holding her wrist the same way she said ice cube barbie did when they were in the coffin hangar
another addition to the clown emperor's story is that the Resurrection is described in harrow's memories as "ten thousand years ago had given them all release from death that none of them had deserved"
I don't know about any of this
we've got a disturbance in the force when harrow describes her parents finding out about the tomb thing
it says "her parents had...found out...about what she had done"
interesting edit of the story there
there's a gideon-sized hole in this story
there's also an interesting new count of nooses??
she says they tied five, two for mortus (???) but in gideon's book she said they tied their own nooses and then helped her tie hers, what's up with mortus having two??? is this nothing and I'm just obsessing about every detail???
I'm gonna start seeing palmolive's force ghost roaming around my house
at the end of ch. 3 it says "there had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow—but she had died before Harrow was born"
this is a VERY INTERESTING wording
if someone dies before you are born, they can't grow up with you
UNLESS
I'm not gonna dwell on that yet
let's put a pin on that
ch. 4 has the re-apparition of yandere twin
*live studio audience cheers, maybe*
she gives her a letter addressed to her from her
the letter has a lot of instructions of things she doesn't remember at all and also are supposed to be opened at specific times/events
one of them says "in the event of the emperor's death"
another says it's in case she sees regina george twin, which makes a whole argument happen and knives are used to settle it
yandere twin will not hear someone imply her sister might be no longer with us
she probably isn't dead, this I know for certain, people wouldn't be confusing my names for them if that was all we got from her
the most important letter, though, is the one in case she sees camilla, who harrow claims not having interacted with ever
this is a very important thing to note, but most importantly, CAMILLA MENTION
very important to be noting who harrow remembers interacting with and who she doesn't
very important as well that she remembers yandere twin losing an arm in battle but does not remember gideon or camilla
I haven't mentioned it yet but, in the letter, past!harrow tells present!harrow that she needs to check yandere twin's tongue and lower mandibule
to which I think to myself "I bet she's gonna kiss her"
and that she did
which makes me want an edition of this book but with gideon commentary
like a dvd commentary but it's gideon commenting on all this stuff
and cracking jokes
because I bet she'd be cracking jokes about this
remember when she joked that yandere twin would marry mayonnaise uncle?
and then both harrow and mayonnaise uncle were like "ew the third's magic is weird"
imagine if she saw this display
another CRUCIAL thing is that harrow is doing like an oath to yandere twin as requested by past!harrow
and she says "by the ripped and remade soul of ortus nigenad"
and yandere twin goes "who? oh, yes—the cavalier"
I mean, mood at not remembering the names, but also SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR
she also tells present!harrow "I gave you something you cared about very deeply at the time"
side note, there is yet another moment in which chad is read for filth
get obliterated even in undeath, chad
last detail from this chapter is that harrowbean almost gets assassinated
maybe I should have started with that
at this point there's so much going on, death seems like a normal one
so yeah, she's gonna get killed with a pillow to the face and then she defends herself and discovers at the end of the chapter that she didn't hallucinate the whole thing and it was hidden from her on purpose that somebody tried to end her
so what's the point in being in this clown death star and surviving big brother canaan house if you can't even sleep peacefully???
moving on to chapter 5
remember the timeline I was making?
yeah, about that
chapter 5, in the third person continuity, establishes that what I saw previously was not necessarily a memory but an au memory
if we can call it something at this point
so my calculations were made as if the timeline was one
but this is not one timeline, it's a sort of parallel gideon-less one
of course my heart is making me believe the gideon-less one is the one that isn't real
and that past!harrow might know what's going on with that
maybe gideon's existence needs to be protected
maybe the emperor doesn't have to know about her
(I'm still holding on to the gideon hope, leave me alone)
but, in any case, present!harrow doesn't know
let's remember the prologue begun with harrow doing something she shouldn't and yandere twin saying something like "was there something in those letters I don't know about?"
I'm just gonna have to throw my timeline in the trash and start over with multiple timelines for now
ALSO, I didn't say anything about it yet, but it's mentioned that harrow is "in love" with ice cube barbie
take that as you will
which is another joke gideon has made in the past and would be stellar in a commentary of this
and, talking about things gideon would be awesome at commenting
in the new ortus-inclusive (?) narrative, ortus is talking about the epic of Matthias Nonius, who we know because harrow has compared gideon to him in the past
and also there's is a comment made about how ortus looks down on people who read "prurient magazines or pamphlets"
I really need gideon confessionals commentary over here
she also says that "the ninth house character, she was forced to admit, had always been low on wild and confident fucks"
yeah, well, how about that
and we end with THE FLIMSY
lots of important flimsies in this
she finds a note that reads "THE EGGS YOU GAVE ME ALL DIED AND YOU LIED TO ME"
ortus says he can't read it
but, in any case,
that made me stop in my tracks because I was reminded I forgot about the writing on the walls of canaan house?????
I filed it under canaan house weirdness but then, it was never talked about?????? again????
also the paper gideon found with her name
which I assumed was addressing the other gideon that not!dulcinea mentioned knowing
but who tf knows at this point
who knows what time and space are anymore
time to leave it for today...this is getting wild, you guys
#luly reacts to tlt#tlt spoilers#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#the locked tomb#long post#gif cw#me looking for that scene of Kim just to make that gif#I need to start making these shorter istg
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'cause all of the small things that you do (are what remind me why i fell for you)
| leah williamson x reader
~~~
"You're such an idiot, you know?" Leah fondly shook her head as she bent down, head coming level with your knee.
You were sat on the bathroom counter, a fresh set of clothes finally on you, as Leah stood in between your legs, medical bag propped open beside you.
You winced as an alcohol pad came in contact with your scraped joint, hissing in pain as she tediously worked to clean the dried blood and grime scattered around it.
“Totally worth it,” you yelped in response, the midfielder having pressed directly on your wound.
Quickly wrapping a bandage around the area she had just wiped, the blonde rose to a standing position, throwing the wrappers into the bin.
“I can’t believe you didn’t get carded…” Shaking her head in disbelief, Leah ripped open another wipe, gently tugging on your wrist after to bring your arm to your chest so she could tend to the burn on your forearm.
“The ref was blind as shit…is it really that surprising? You saw it first hand when they tackled you like three thousand times in the first half!”
Your whiny justification brought a smile to the Englishwoman’s face, amusement poorly hidden.
“Still not an excuse to go all Hulk on them. Had the ref been stupid they could’ve given you a red easily.”
“Who’s to say they weren’t a complete dipshit? For all we know, they’re likely as oblivious off the field too!”
Body shaking with the effort of holding her laugh back, Leah covered her mouth with her hands in a poor attempt to hide her grin.
“Baby, you can’t just say that…”
“Why not? And you’re laughing!” A cheeky smile took over your face, chest filling with pride at seeing Leah’s eyes twinkle at your shenanigans.
“Love…”
“Nope, not hearing it. Your opinion is overruled….I can totally say it and it is funny.” Tongue between your teeth, you shot the blonde a wide grin.
Sighing in defeat, the grin not leaving her face, Leah pinched your thigh playfully and quickly finished cleaning the cut on your arm.
Reaching for bandages, she slowly began wrapping it around the decent-sized burn, tongue peeking out from behind her teeth, eyebrows furrowing as she focused on laying it flat.
You watched the midfielder as she worked, shy smile overtaking your mischievous grin.
Near heart-eyes on your face, you bit back your grin, chin sloping to the side in absolutely adoration.
Meeting your gaze as she finished, the blonde righted herself, head tilting as her cheeks flushed.
Rummaging through the medical kit to keep herself busy, you almost didn’t hear her quiet words over the noise of supplies being ransacked.
“Stop looking at me like that…”
Confusion crossing your face, your voice came out equally as soft, shoulders dipping. “Like what?”
“…with that look in your eyes, like I’ve done something special…”
The nervousness was clear in the captain’s voice, her eyes not meeting yours, hand still fidgeting.
Slowly grabbing Leah by her shoulders, you gently turned her to face you, hands running down until you were holding hers in your own.
Waiting for steel blue eyes to meet your own, you brought your foreheads together, pulling her in with your legs.
“You love me everyday. You put up with my dumb butt- yellow cards, twenty something fouls, and tons of cuts and bruises on my arms, that you don’t hesitate to tend to. I’m practically a McCabe in training yet you’re not complaining.”
“Still-“ Her eyes closed, mouth forming a thin line.
“No.”
“No?” The confused mumble had you smiling, you quickly kissing Leah’s scrunched up nose before resting your head against hers again, voice a murmur in the small space between you two.
“No. You love me always, and take care of me, and check up on me, and you let me be goofy, and eat all your snacks even if you really wanted them. You always let me sit on the right side of the couch because you know it’s my spot. You make sure my kit bag’s always packed because we both know how forgetful I am. You bring me flowers and snacks on the most randomest of days. You let me cry at the cheesiest rom-coms the world has ever known. You love me on my best and my worst days Leah. You haven’t done something special but you are something special…”
You could hear a fly drop in the silence that took over the room once you finished speaking.
Heart pounding at your own raw admission, uncertainty flickered in your eyes, body slightly tensing, waiting.
Inhaling sharply at the lack of response, you began to pull back, ready to put distance between you two, to apologize (for what, you didn't really know).
Just as you moved back a little bit, you felt a hand come to rest on the nape of your neck, pulling you back close.
You heard the blonde swallow hard, feeling her exhale fan across your face.
“I love you…”
The quiet admission was a whisper, you feeling her lips brush your own as she spoke.
“I know…and I love you. You’re my something special, okay?”
Feeling Leah nod in response, you placed a loving kiss on the blonde’s lips, then another, and then another. It was only when the next one was cut short by the both of you smiling, that you pulled back, resting your face in the crook of her neck, the dim light of the fading sun casting an angelic glow as you both relaxed in each other’s hold, revelling in your shared love.
You might be an idiot, but hey, at least you were an idiot in love.
#this did not go in the direction i wanted it to go in#not proofread#too many tags but fuck it#fluff#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson#woso one shot#woso fanfics#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso#woso community#my writing#blurb#caotsttyd
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Gonna Make You Sweat | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley is determined to get back in peak physical condition, but you are more of a distraction than he anticipated.
Warnings: Fluff and smut
Length: 2000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!
Bradley had finally graduated from physical therapy, and while he had regained full use of his left arm, the scarring was still very much present. He hated the way it looked, but there wasn't much he could do about it.
But what he could do, was get himself back in top shape before he married you. His physical therapist had given him the green light to work out as much as he wanted to, and he decided to buy a weight bench for the garage.
"We don't really even use the garage, and this way we can have a home gym," he told you as he ordered everything online from his spot on the couch.
You climbed into his lap and took his phone out of his hand. "Promise me you aren't doing this because you think you need to, Bradley. You're very physically healthy already. You go for a run most days, and I feed you very well."
Bradley examined your face. "Don't you miss my abs, Baby Girl?"
You just shrugged against his chest and ran your fingers under his shirt and across his belly button. "They were nice. This is nice, too. And I'm going to absolutely love it when you have a dad bod someday," you said, biting your lip and moaning.
Just hearing you say the word dad had his dick signaling that it was time to be inside you, and that moan had him pushing you down onto the couch.
"A dad bod, you say? As soon as you want that to happen, you just let me know, Sweetheart," he said, yanking your shorts off as you stroked him through his jeans. You giggled as he kissed your engagement ring and slid inside you.
-------------------------------------
The gym arrived two weeks before Labor Day in what seemed like a million delivery boxes filled with pieces that needed to be assembled. Bradley coaxed you out to the garage one evening after work to help him put it together, but you weren't much help at all.
"Let's go to bed," you whined over and over again, crawling into his lap where he sat on the floor. "I like your body the way it is. You don't even need a gym."
He just chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. "Well, I just spent thousands of dollars on it, so it's staying. Need to look good for our wedding," he said, kissing your hair. "Besides, Jake has been acting weird, and everyone thinks he has a new girlfriend. I want to look better than him again so you can gloat to his girl next time we go to the beach."
You rolled your eyes so hard, Bradley had to laugh. "If Jake was seeing someone, I would know about it."
Bradley narrowed his eyes. "How?"
"Because we have girl talk all the time," you said as you nestled against his neck and rubbed your hand on his belly.
"You and Jake... have girl talk?"
"Yeah, he tells me stuff that happens and I let him know how he fucked up. I'd like to say I'm his guru," you said seriously, making Bradley laugh.
"Well he certainly needs one. Help me put the last part together so we can go to bed," he said with a yawn.
When he stepped back and inspected it, everything looked perfect. And when he started using it the following day, he was happy with his purchase. In fact, he ended up in the garage for an hour every night after he finished cleaning the kitchen from your dinner preparations.
He'd been listening to the gym playlist you made for him and really getting back into the groove of things. His arm was giving him no pain now, and he was working himself slowly up to heavier weights.
"Looking sexy, Roo," you told him when you poked your head in, raking your gaze over his body. "All hot and sweaty."
Bradley sat up on the bench and patted his thigh with his gloved hand. "Wanna join me while I take a little break," he asked you innocently.
Your lips parted and your nostrils flared, and Bradley was curious about what you would do. You were supposed to be going out for drinks with your colleagues and your boss to celebrate Bickel's upcoming promotion. But he knew you hated being late to anything work related, even a happy hour.
Bradley watched you hesitate, your hands grasping the fabric of your dress where it sat against your thighs. "No!" you said suddenly. "I know how you are, and you do this to me all the time!"
"Do what?" he asked, cocking his head like he had no idea what you were talking about.
You sighed. "You make me late for everything, Bradley. Flaunting your appeal right in front of me. But not today, sir!" you said, spinning on your heel. A few minutes later, he heard your car start, and he returned to his workout with a big grin.
--------------------------------
Bradley checked himself in the bathroom mirror before he pulled on an old tee shirt for working out. Just a week later, and he was already feeling better. He jogged through the house and let Tramp out into the back yard as he headed for the garage. He could probably squeeze a quick workout in before he needed to shower to leave for the airport.
He turned on his playlist and got to work, singing along to everything and completely losing track of time.
"Bradley! I thought you would be in the shower by now!" you said when you strolled into the garage.
He set his barbell down and turned to face you. "What time is it?"
"Their flight lands in an hour," you told him, strolling closer. You were wearing one of those romper things he both loved and hated. They looked cute, but they were annoying to take off.
He licked his lips, tasting his own sweat there, and when you got close enough he reached out and grabbed your hand. "We've got time," he said, his voice deep and raspy.
"Roo," you cautioned, pressing your lips together, but he was already pulling you down to sit on his thigh where he was straddling the bench. "You look good," you whispered, and he grabbed your chin, kissing you hard.
"Do I?" he asked between kisses.
"Mmhmm," you hummed. But you were already moaning softly, turning to face him a little more and running your hands up and down his sweaty biceps. He watched you pull away from his mouth, your tongue darting out to taste the sweat that trickled down his cheek.
Bradley could feel his balls tighten as you pulled your tongue back into your mouth before licking your lips. "You always look good," you added, pulling his shirt off and running your fingers along his flat tummy while you kissed and licked his neck.
After he made sure all of the weights were locked in place, he turned back to you, tipping you down until you were laying on your back on the bench one leg over each side. "You always look perfect," he whispered, unbuttoning your romper and guiding it carefully down your body, watching you lift your hips so he could remove it. You had skipped a bra, something he was wild about, and he hummed against your skin as he kissed your breasts.
"I wasn't kidding though," you gasped. "I liked your little belly. The precursor to the dad bod looked hot on you."
Bradley wrenched your underwear off and planted kiss after kiss on your pussy as he eased his gym shorts and boxer briefs just low enough to get his dick free. The bench was narrow, and there wasn't a lot of room to work with, but he managed to get himself in a good position to slip into your wet slit.
"Oh," you gasped, reaching for his shoulders as he leaned over you.
"Listen, Baby Girl. Whenever you wanna make me a daddy, you just let me know," he told you, moving in a steady rhythm inside you as he planted his hands on your hips for leverage. "I'll give up the abs to spend my time changing diapers instead."
"Oh!" you whined louder, biting your lip. Bradley leaned down to kiss you, and he watched a drop of his sweat land next to your mouth. He was mesmerized by your tongue darting out to taste it.
"Oh fuck, Sweetheart. I'm ready to be a daddy when you want me to be," he promised running his thumbs in soft circles along your pelvic bones as he fucked you a little harder.
"You're already my Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley thought his brain must have shut down.
His movements came stuttering to a halt just as you started whining for more. And when you looked up at him, your eyes absolutely pleading for him to keep going, you once again whispered, "Daddy?"
Bradley slowly withdrew his dick and slammed himself back into you, never taking his eyes off yours. "Oh!" you gasped. "So you like it when I call you that?"
"Say it again," he growled loudly, fucking into you so hard, the bench moved a few inches across the floor as your tits bounced wildly. He watched your eyes roll back as you moaned Daddy a little louder.
"Don't stop," he demanded, giving you everything he had left.
"I won't, Daddy," you cried out.
Bradley had no idea he would like this so much, but in fact, he fucking loved it. Now he was grabbing your waist so hard, he saw tears in your eyes as you chanted, "DAD-DY! DAD-DY! DAD-DY!" Each syllable you moaned matched perfectly with each thrust he landed.
He came so hard, his teeth were chattering. You were whimpering beneath him, completely disheveled with smeared makeup as you whined and squeezed every drop from his cock. Bradley withdrew himself from you and finger fucked his cum back inside. He leaned over you, teasing your swollen clit and working his semen into you until you were literally crying.
Then he kissed your tears away, his fingers still rammed deep inside your pussy. "Daddy loves you," he promised, as you tried to catch your breath. "You're Daddy's Baby Girl."
-----------------------------------
Bradley drove the Bronco to the San Diego International Airport with an enormous smile on his face. You had your left hand laced with his right, and he was slowly spinning your engagement ring around your finger while he drove. You had your head resting against his bicep while you selected songs from one of your playlists.
His enormous smile still remained as he parked and helped you out, walking you to the terminal with his arm wrapped around your waist. Your romper was a wrinkly mess, and you still had a small smudge of mascara below your eye, and he knew your pussy was filled with his cum. He fucking loved you.
Sex in the garage had made you late, and your parents were already waiting next to the baggage carousel when the two of you arrived.
"Oh, honey! Show me your ring!" your mom called as soon as she saw you. Bradley let you out of his grasp as you went to hug them both, and he smiled, because he knew how lucky you were to have both parents here.
Then he almost choked as he heard you greet them, "Mom! Daddy! I missed you."
Bradley shook hands with your father, but he was barely able to make eye contact with him. This was going to be a very long weekend.
------------------------------
Oh, Baby Girl, he loved that so much! Well, stay tuned for A Love You Don't Find Everyday...there will be more of Baby Girl and Daddy Roo and their next adventure!
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“Name me a single objective we’ve ever set out to accomplish that we’ve failed on. Name me one, in all of our history. Not one!”
-President Joe Biden, August 16, 2023
Joe Biden in one of his now accustomed angry “get off my grass” moods dared the press to find just one of his policies/objectives that has not worked. Silence followed.
Perhaps it was polite to say nothing, given even the media knows almost every enacted Biden policy has failed.
Here is a summation of what he should instead apologize for.
Biden in late summer 2021 sought a 20th anniversary celebration of 9/11 and the 2001 subsequent invasion of Afghanistan. He wished to be the landmark president that yanked everyone out of Afghanistan after 20 years in country. But the result was the greatest military humiliation of the United States since the flight from Vietnam in 1975.
Consider the ripples of Biden’s disaster. U.S. deterrence was crippled worldwide. China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea almost immediately began to bluster or return to their chronic harassment of U.S. and allied ships and planes. We left thousands of allied Afghans to face Taliban retribution, along with some Western contractors.
Biden abandoned a $1 billion embassy, and a $300 million remodeled Bagram airbase strategically located not far from China and Russia, and easily defensible. Perhaps $50 billion in U.S. weaponry and supplies were abandoned and now find their way into the international terrorist mart.
All our pride flags, our multimillion gender studies programs at Kabul University, and our George Floyd murals did not just come to naught, but were replaced by the Taliban’s anti-homosexual campaigns, burkas, and detestation of any trace of American popular culture.
Vladimir Putin sized up the skedaddle. He collated it with Biden’s unhinged quip that he would not get too excited if Putin just staged a “minor” invasion of Ukraine. He remembered Biden’s earlier request to Putin to modulate Russian hacking to exempt a few humanitarian American institutions. Then Russia concluded of our shaky Commander-in-Chief that he either did not care or could do nothing about another Russian invasion.
The result so far is more than 500,000 dead and wounded in the war, a Verdun-stand-off along with fortified lines, the steady depletion of our munitions and weapon stocks, and a new China/Russia/Iran/North Korean axis, with wink and nod assistance from NATO Turkey.
Biden blew up the Abraham accords, nudged Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States over to the dark side of Iran, China, and Russia. He humiliated the U.S. on the eve of the midterms by callously begging the likes of Iran, Venezuela, Russia, and Saudi Arabia to pump more oil that he had damned as unclean at home and cut back its production. In Bidenomics, instead of producing oil, the president begs autocracies to export it to us at high prices while he drains the nation’s strategic petroleum reserve for short-term political advantage.
Biden deliberately alienated Israel by openly interfering in its domestic politics. He pursued the crackpot Iran Deal while his special Iranian envoy was removed for disclosing classified information.
No one can explain why Biden ignored the Chinese balloon espionage caper, kept mum about the engineered Covid virus that escaped the Wuhan lab, said not a word about a Chinese biolab discovered in rural California, and had his envoys either bow before Chinese leaders or take their insults in silence��other than he is either cognitively challenged or leveraged by his decade-long grifting partnership with his son Hunter.
Yet another Biden’s legacy will be erasing the southern border and with it, U.S. immigration law. Over seven million aliens simply crossed into the U.S. illegally with Biden’s tacit sanction—without audits, background checks, vaccinations, and COVID testing, much less English fluency, skills, or high-school diplomas.
Biden’s only immigration accomplishment was to render the entire illegal sanctuary city movement a cruel joke. Given the flood, mostly rich urban and vacation home dwellers made it very clear that while they fully support millions swarming into poor Latino communities of southern Texas and Arizona, they do not want any illegal aliens fouling their carefully cultivated nests.
Biden is mum about the 100,000 fentanyl deaths from cartel-imported and Chinese-supplied drugs across his open border. He seems to like the idea that Mexican President Obrador periodically mouths off, ordering his vast expatriate community to vote Democratic and against Trump.
Despite all the pseudo-blue collar dissimulation about Old Joe Biden from Scranton, he has little empathy for the working classes. Indeed, he derides them as chumps and dregs, urges miners to learn coding as the world covets their coal, and studiously avoids getting anywhere near the toxic mess in East Palestine, Ohio, or so far the moonscape on Maui.
Bidenomics is a synonym for printing up to $6 billion dollars at precisely the time post-Covid consumer demand was soaring, while previously dormant supply chains were months behind rebooting production and transportation. Biden is on track to increase the national debt more than any one-term president.
In Biden’s weird logic, if he raised the price of energy, gasoline, and key food staples 20-30 percent since his inauguration without a commensurate rise in wages, and then saw the worst inflation in 40 years occasionally decline from record highs one month to the next, then he “beat inflation.”
But the reason why more than 60 percent of the nation has no confidence in Bidenomics is because it destroyed their household budgets. Gas is nearly twice what it was in January 2021. Interest rates have about tripled. Key staple foods are often twice as costly—meat, vegetables, and fruits especially.
Biden has ended through his weaponized Attorney General Merrick Garland the age-old American commitment to equal justice under the law. The FBI, DOJ, CIA, and IRS are hopelessly politically compromised. Many of their bureaucrats serve as retrieval agents for lost Biden family incriminating laptops, diaries, and guns. In sum, Biden criminalized opposing political views.
Biden has unleashed the administrative state for the first time in history to destroy the Republican primary front runner and his likely opponent. His legacy will be the corruption of U.S. jurisprudence and the obliteration of the American reputation for transparent permanent government that should be always above politics, bribery, and corruption.
If in the future, an on-the-make conservative prosecutor in West Virginia, Utah, or Mississippi wishes to make a national name, then he has ample precedent to indict a Democrat President for receiving bad legal advice, questioning the integrity of an election, or using social media to express doubt that the new non-Election-Day balloting was on the up-and-up, or supposedly overvaluing his real estate.
The Biden family’s decade-long family grifting will likely expose Joe Biden as the first president in U.S. history who fitted precisely the Constitution’s definition of impeachment and removal—given his “high crimes and misdemeanors” appear “bribery”-related. If further evidence shows he altered U.S. foreign policy in accordance with the wishes from his benefactors in Ukraine, China, or Romania, then he committed constitutionally-defined “treason” as well.
Defunding the police, and pandemics of exempted looting, shoplifting, smashing, and grabbing, and carjacking merit no administrative attention. Nor does the ongoing systematic destruction of our blue bicoastal cities, Los Angeles, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Washington, D.C. All that, along with the disasters in East Palestine or Maui are out of sight, out of mind from a day at the beach at Biden’s mysteriously purchased nearly 6,000 square-foot beachfront mansion.
Biden ran on Barack Obama-like 2004 rhetoric (“Well, I say to them tonight, there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America).”
And like Obama, he used that ecumenical sophistry to gain office only to divide further the U.S. No sooner than he was elected, we began hearing from the great unifier eerie screaming harangues about “semi-fascists” and “ultra-MAGA” dangerous zealots, replete with red-and black Phantom of the Opera backdrops.
What followed the unifying rhetoric was often amnesties and exemptions for violent offenders during the 120 days of rioting, looting, killing, and attacks on police officers in summer 2020. In contrast, his administration lied when it alleged that numerous officers had died at the hands of the January 6 rioters. In addition, the Biden administration mandated long-term incarceration of many who committed no illegal act other than acting like buffoons and “illegally parading.”
The message was exemptions for torching a federal courthouse, a police precinct, or historic church or attempting to break into the White House grounds to get a president and his family—but long prison terms for wearing cow horns, a fur vest, and trespassing peacefully like a lost fool in the Capitol.
Finally, Biden’s most glaring failure was simply being unpresidential. He snaps at reporters, and shouts at importune times. He can no longer read off a big-print teleprompter. Even before a global audience, he cannot kick his lifelong creepy habit of turkey-gobbling on children necks, blowing into their ears and hair of young girls, and squeezing women far too long and far too hard.
His frailty redefined American presidential campaigning as basement seclusion and outsourcing propaganda to the media. And his disabilities only intensified during his presidency. Biden begins his day late and quits early. He has recalibrated the presidency as a 5-hour, 3-day a week job.
If Trump was the great exaggerator, Biden is our foremost liar. Little in his biography can be fully believed. He lies about everything from his train rides to the death of his son to his relationship with Biden-family foreign collaborators, to vaccinations to the economy. Anytime Biden mentions places visited, miles flown, or rails ridden, he is likely lying.
Biden continues with impunity because the media feels that a mentally challenged fabulist is preferable to Donald Trump and so contextualizes or ignores his falsehoods. Never has a U.S. president fallen and stumbled or gotten lost on stage so frequently—or been a single small trip away from incapacity.
So, yes, Biden’s initiatives have succeeded only in the sense of becoming successfully enacted—and therefore nearly destroying the country.
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Passion On The High Seas
(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)
SUMMARY | After running away from your life as a noblewoman to become a pirate, you meet Yunho, a handsome pirate who has an equally shocking past.
PAIRING | Yunho/Reader
GENRE | Pirate!Yunho, smut with no plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), oral, fingering, vaginal sex,
RATING | Mature
LENGTH | 4758 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE | Might make this a series or something LOL. Here’s to my first Ateez fic!
You stretched your limbs after you had finished loading cargo onto the ship earlier that day. Your hair was tied up in a messy bun so that it didn’t fall onto your face as you worked.
Your clothes were tattered, stained with dirt and grime and most likely smelled horrible due to you wearing the same clothing for days on end. But despite all that, you felt pretty damn happy at that very moment.
Happiness. Something that you hadn’t felt in a very long time.
You were the daughter of one of the peninsula’s most prestigious families that served the king. You grew up in a gilded cage with servants attending to your every whim. You went to fancy balls with nobles and royalty. You wore dresses that cost thousands of gold coins each. Every evening, you went to parties hosted by important merchants or dignitaries where you drank the finest wine and ate the most delectable foods. And yet…despite all that, you never felt happy. Not once in your life.
Until now.
You smiled to yourself as you thought about what it would be like to live life on your own terms. No rules. No laws. No royal decrees preventing you from doing what you wanted. Just you and the sea. The only one that cared whether or not you lived was you. And you loved that feeling. More than anything.
And as far as you knew, it was that feeling that had drawn you to the life of piracy.
You’ve been living life on the seas for a few years already, rising to the ranks of Captain through sheer determination and blood, sweat and tears. It wasn’t easy being an outcast among the noble classes but you never let that get you down. There was no place else you’d rather be than here: sailing around the world, exploring new lands, making friends, conquering foes and seeing sights no one had ever seen before.
The wind blew gently against your face as you looked upon the island that stood in front of you. Sails flapped lazily as the pirate ship moored itself to the shore and as you gazed out over the horizon, you could see your next destination appear in the distance: the City of Thieves. A land filled with thieving pirates and thieves where anyone could do whatever they wanted without fear of punishment or retribution. Where there were no constrictions, no boundaries, no restrictions. You couldn’t wait to get there. You grinned wickedly as you imagined running wild and free amongst its teeming streets and crowded alleyways, laughing and partying until the sun came up again.
No more dresses. No more high heels. No more boring noble gatherings. This was going to be a life of pure pleasure, no holds barred. If you weren’t having fun, then you weren’t doing it right. This was what freedom was all about!
With a chuckle, you hollered to your crew as the ship was preparing to dock. “Looks like we’re finally here!” You said excitedly. “Open up those cargoes so we can sell them off. Check in with the Quartermaster to see what jobs he has for you and once work is done, and I really mean done, then you are free to do as you please! Huzzah!”
The men cheered in excitement as they began working on the tasks that were given to them, shouting out commands to their colleagues as they continued to unload crates and barrels onto the dockside. While this was happening, however, you were busy thinking about how you were going to spend the rest of the day. What would you do? How will you spend your day? All these questions swirled around your head like the churning waters of the ocean.
Once the ship was docked, work was done and you had distributed everyone’s pay, you led your crew towards the nearest tavern. Once inside, you ordered some food and drinks and made your way to a secluded table where you watched your men frolic about. Soon enough, a buxom waitress came over and placed your order down before giving you a warm smile. You noticed a few of your fellow men giving her a wolfish grin but you paid no mind to it as she left.
You weren’t looking for female company but rather the company of men. But all the pirates you knew were old, young, drunk, had missing limbs or were not that attractive to look at, which means you wouldn’t be able to pick any of them as potential mates. And as much as you loved taking lovers, nothing quite compared to a cold, hard drink with a handsome man who knows exactly how to treat his woman right. Or maybe someone who had nice eyes and lips? You did like a man with nice features. You wondered if you’ll ever find a man like that. Maybe you won’t. Either way, you didn’t care. You didn’t need a man. Not even if you found one. You’d be fine on your own. Better than fine, in fact.
“I hear you’ve just returned home from a voyage.” Said a familiar voice.
Your ears perked up as you turned around and saw another pirate sitting at the table beside you. You immediately recognized him as one of your regular drinking buddies and a captain of his own right. “Are you keeping tabs on me, Hongjoong?” You asked, sipping your drink.
“I just got into town a few days ago. Leave me alone.” Hongjoong laughed as he ordered a bottle of rum.
“Oh come on! Aren’t you curious about my latest adventures?” You questioned, playing along.
Hongjoong let out a laugh. “If it doesn’t have pretty woman involved, then no thank you.”
You scoffed and pointed at yourself. “But I’m a pretty woman.”
“You’re a whole different story, my noble lady.” Hongjoong chuckled, finishing his drink and ordering another one. “You’re out of my reach.”
“Too bad, my friend.” You replied, sipping your drink. “Anything new happening with you these days? Got any juicy stories to tell?”
“Apart from recruiting new men?” Hongjoong teased, winking at you.
A frown formed on your lips. “What does that mean?”
“I got a few pretty boys on board.” Hongjoong said as he gestured to a few men that were engaged with talks with a few of yours. “Snagged them before you could, so I’m feeling lucky. Are you jealous?”
You shrugged. “Don’t care.”
“Why don’t you join us later tonight?” Hongjoong offered, turning towards you. “We can grab a few bottles of wine and then go somewhere quiet and intimate.”
You arched an eyebrow at him. “So now you’re interested in me?”
“Nah…you know my type.” He chuckled. “But I do know the type of guys you like. I can guarantee you won’t be disappointed. Like that one over there.”
You looked over to where he pointed and noticed a rather tall, handsome man talking to a few of your crew members. Your eyes trailed downwards to take in the sight of his well-built body and those long fingers that rested upon the wooden chair. God, what you could do with those fingers. They would feel good wrapped around your throat. But more importantly, those legs. Long and strong. Perfect for fucking.
That, and his eyes. Those beautiful dark eyes…they almost hypnotized you.
A low growl escaped your lips before you looked at your friend. “Damn you, Hongjoong. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once I’m glad we’re friends. I’ll join your party as long as he’s there.”
“Good girl.” He grinned before he drained his glass. He called out to the tall man. “Yunho!”
His name was Yunho. You liked that name.
Yunho approached the table and turned to Hongjoong. “Captain.”
Hongjoong clapped the tall man’s back as gestured to you. “Say hello. This is my good friend, Y/N. She’s the captain of ’The Aurora’.”
Yunho gave you a friendly nod before turning his attention to you. “Hello. Pleased to meet you.”
You nodded in return. “Likewise.”
Yunho opened his mouth to say something but was cut short when you waved to the others, signaling for everyone to join you.
All the men eagerly moved towards the table and took their places as you pulled up a chair and joined them. “Let’s get to know each other, shall we?” You suggested as you raised your glass and gave a toast. “Here’s to better opportunities, a brighter future and everlasting friendships.”
After you had finished your drink, you signaled for a waiter and ordered two bottles of wine before moving to sit next to Yunho. He immediately leaned towards you and whispered into your ear. “You’re awfully forward, aren’t you?”
“Can’t help it. You’ve caught my eye.” You whispered back. “There’s something intriguing about you. What’s your story? You seem different from all the pirates I’ve met.”
Yunho smiled as he tilted his head to the side slightly. “How so?”
“You just have a different air about you.” You stated. “Not as cocky as the others. More mysterious.”
“I could say the same about you, Captain.” Yunho let out a laugh. “It’s not everyday that I get to meet a female pirate, much less a female captain. You’re different from all the women I met. You sit differently, talk differently. It’s as if you were born into a different life than the other women.”
“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.” You countered.
“Alright.” Yunho muttered, eyeing the group of men across the room. “Do you want to walk with me? We can exchange stories as we go.”
“Sounds good to me.” You agreed. “Lead the way.”
As you and Yunho headed out of the tavern, the men gave you knowing glances knowing that you wouldn’t be returning any time soon. Some smirked, wondering what the attraction was between you two while others winked. You ignored them and allowed Yunho to lead the way as you followed behind him. His movements seemed so smooth, almost as if he was dancing with the night breeze as he walked along. With each step he took, you felt like your heart skipped a beat. Just watching him made you weak in the knees.
Damn it, why am I like this? It’s not like I haven’t fucked hundreds of men already. Why do I feel so drawn to this one man?
“So what’s your story?” Yunho inquired, stopping near a tree as he looked at you.
“Tell me yours first.” You commanded, still unable to hide the obvious longing that shined through your gaze.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I was the son of a noble? One that went through a lot growing up because of the rumors about his father’s involvement in treason?” Yunho asked, giving you a sad smile. “Of how my family had been stripped of our title and exiled instead of executed for being traitors?”
“So you’re Minister Jeong’s son.” You said as you sat down by the tree.
“Do you know of my family?” Yunho asked in surprise.
You gave him a sad smile in return. “Would you believe that I was the daughter of a noble as well? Raised in a gilded cage, unable to live freely as she waits for her father to marry her off for his political gain? A noblewoman who ran away during a shopping excursion when a riot occurred?”
“So…You’re the missing daughter of Minister Yoon.” Yunho surmised, studying you carefully. “It explains why you’re different from all the other women I met.”
“Does it?” You questioned as you furrowed your brows.
“I think you understand what I’m trying to say.” Yunho said, his eyes gazing into yours. “You and I lived the life of privilege and even though it looks like we’ve adapted to the life of being a pirate, there are things that only people of nobility would understand. Things we both experienced. Things that we know about each other.”
“Yes.” You admitted. “I agree with you. In many ways, we do understand each other.”
“Then why did you run away from everything you know? Don’t you miss the life you once had?” Yunho asked as he pulled a few leaves off a branch and handed it to you. “Have you forgotten all about it?”
“I was raised to be a dutiful daughter and if I stayed, my fate would be to marry some powerful man for his wealth and political power.” You explained. “I didn’t know it at the time but I hated my life back then. I wanted to live freely. To be free. To be myself. So I ran away and never looked back.”
“And here you are now, living on your own. No one to guide you but yourself.” Yunho added. “Surely that must be lonely.”
“At times, yes. Sometimes I miss having someone to talk to.” You admitted as you watched Yunho pull a few leaves from the branch. “My crew are great men but sometimes it’s hard to talk to them about my life considering we all had different pasts. If they found out that I was a noblewoman, who’s to say that they wouldn’t look down on me or treat me differently?”
“I get it.” Yunho looked up at the night sky. “I haven’t told Captain Hongjoong my identity as well. But I’m sure he already knows. The man seems to always be able to read me like an open book.”
“He’s quite gifted in that area.” You mused as you turned to face Yunho. “He found out about my identity the first time we met. But you can count on Hongjoong to keep your secret. That’s one thing you can trust in him.”
“Now that you mention it…” Yunho stared at you intently. “Why do I feel like I can trust you?”
“Maybe it’s because you want to trust me?” You suggested with a soft chuckle.
“Perhaps.” Yunho sighed as he stood up and started walking towards you. “However, that doesn’t explain why I suddenly became attracted to you. I’ve had my fair share of lovers in my life and yet I find myself wanting to know you.”
“I feel the same. Strange, isn’t it?” You smiled at him. “Normally, I would sleep with someone and then leave the next morning without giving them any thought. Yet with you…it feels different.”
Yunho returned your smile and bent down so that he could whisper into your ear. “Me too.”
As you glanced up at his lips, you wondered how such a large man like him could make you feel so small. As his breath fanned against your skin, you could feel your heart beating faster and harder. Before you knew it, you found yourself leaning closer towards him and slowly moving your body closer towards his.
Your lips parted and he placed his finger on your lower lip, coaxing you to close the distance between you. Instinctively, you leaned forward and closed the gap between you. His tongue swirled around your bottom lip and for a moment you thought he was going to kiss you but instead he nipped lightly on your lower lip.
You pulled back slightly, your hand reaching for his. “Do you want to continue this somewhere else?”
“Wherever you wish.” Yunho answered, his voice thick with desire.
“Come on.” You grabbed his hand and tugged him in the direction of the inn. “I rented a room earlier and we don’t want to waste any time, do we?”
Without waiting for an answer, you led him inside and led him straight to the room you rented. Locking the door, you removed your jacket and tossed it onto the bed as you kicked off your shoes. When you reached for the buttons of your shirt, Yunho stopped you and helped you remove it. He tossed it on top of your jacket before placing his large hand on your naked skin.
Yunho inhaled deeply as he ran his hands up and down your torso, enjoying the smoothness of your skin beneath his fingertips. Suddenly he leaned forward and captured your lips in a searing kiss as his hands explored every inch of your upper body, gently caressing you. “Yeah, you’re definitely a noblewoman with how soft your skin is. So supple and smooth.”
As he continued kissing you, you lost yourself in the sensation of his touch. One hand reached up to grab hold of his hair, entwining your fingers within it as you held him tightly against you. He pressed himself against you as his long fingers trailed down your body, pausing briefly at the hem of your pants before gently sliding underneath it.
A shudder ran down your spine as he touched you intimately, softly brushing over the sensitive spot below your navel before tracing the outline of your sex. As you arched your back, pushing yourself further against his hand, you moaned as you realized that you were getting wetter with each passing second. A loud moan escaped your lips as he slipped his middle finger into you, exploring every nook and cranny as you grinded your hips against his hand.
You grasped at his shirt, tugging it upwards so that you could feel the warmth of his bare chest against your own. Pulling his shirt over his head, you tossed it aside and cupped his face in your hands, kissing him passionately as you moved his hand away from you.
“Too much clothes on.” You murmured as you pushed Yunho backwards onto the bed.
He let out a laugh. “I could say the same since you still have your pants on.”
“That will come off later.” You teased as you dropped to your knees and began unbuttoning his pants. “For now, you can enjoy my mouth first.”
Yunho’s hands gripped the sheets as he watched you strip him of the rest of his clothing piece by piece. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to get lost in the sensation of your warm breath upon his skin. Your hair brushed against his stomach, tickling him as you slowly worked your way downwards.
When you finally reached his crotch, Yunho gasped as you wrapped your fingers around his hardness. Slowly running your hand up and down his length, you smiled as he visibly shuddered under your touch.
“Just like I expected.” You whispered as you lowered your mouth and licked the tip of his cock. “Very stiff and very hot. Very big.”
Licking the underside of his cock, you continued stroking him until he was panting heavily. He bit his lip, trying to remain silent as you feasted on his cock. With each flick of your tongue, you drew tiny groans from him. Unable to control himself, he thrust forward and hit the back of your throat.
Moaning as you took his entire length into your mouth, you loved the feeling of his dick slipping in and out of your throat. Squeezing your eyes shut, you imagined him buried deep inside you. Imagining his hands caressing your skin while your breasts filled his palms. Without warning, you felt his cock swell in your mouth as he shot his cum right into your waiting mouth.
Swallowing every last drop, you pulled your mouth away and kissed his thighs before standing up. Grabbing the waistband of your pants, you quickly removed them and threw them onto the floor before sitting back down on his lap. Leaning forward, you pulled him towards you and passionately kissed him again.
Yunho took the chance to flip you on the bed and cover you with his body. Grasping the back of your neck, he gently massaged the base of your skull as he kissed you more intensely than ever. “Your turn to enjoy my mouth.”
His lips traveled down your neck, nibbling and sucking every part of your flesh as you arched your back and purred. Pushing you further down on the bed, he took your left nipple into his mouth and sucked on it gently. He flicked his tongue against it causing your body to jolt slightly.
“More.” You breathed out, needing more of him.
“If you insist.” Yunho answered as he lifted your right breast into his mouth.
The sensations coursing through your body intensified as he sucked on your nipples, gradually increasing his speed. He took turns licking and sucking each one of them, paying special attention to your left nipple. It wasn’t until he finally reached your other nipple that he paused momentarily. Gazing into your eyes, he licked his lips and gave you a sexy smirk before trailing his lips further down your body.
Inch by inch, his tongue traced your skin until he reached your belly button. Placing his hands on your legs, he spread them apart before gently grazing his lips across your sensitive skin. You cried out as you felt his teeth scrape against your skin.
Kissing the outside of your pussy, he slowly slid two fingers inside you. He heard you moan as he moved his fingers in and out of you, sliding them deeper with each thrust. The sounds of your wetness echoed in his ears as he tasted your sweetness with his tongue. When he finally reached your inner walls, he inserted another finger and began thrusting his digits in and out of you, creating a rhythm that was driving you mad.
He thrust his fingers in and out of you, pulling your clit into his mouth and gently suckling on it. As you bucked against his hand, Yunho could feel your juices flowing freely from your slit. “God, you taste good.”
Leaving his fingers inside you, he dipped his head between your legs and slowly moved his tongue along the length of your slit. He flicked his tongue against your clit, drawing small whimpers from you.
Yunho lifted his head and watched you squirm beneath him. “Can I?"
You nodded and silently prayed that he didn’t stop. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth and engulfed your clit into his mouth, sucking on it gently as you cried out in pleasure. Every single sensation heightened tenfold as his lips made contact with your most intimate areas.
You arched your back, moaning loudly as he gently tugged on your clit. Overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure washing over you, you lost all sense of self. Nothing existed except for the feel of Yunho’s warm tongue dancing against your most intimate parts.
Suddenly he pulled away, leaving you panting for air. Looking down at you with hunger in his eyes, he sat back up on the bed. With one hand, he caressed your cheek while using the other to grasp his cock.
"Please.” You begged. “I need you inside me.”
With a look of pure lust in his eyes, Yunho positioned himself at your entrance. Pressing forward, his thick cock plunged inside of you, filling you completely.
Clenching your eyes shut, you bit your lip as he stretched you wide open. “Oh god…” You groaned as he entered you further. “It’s so big.”
Yunho placed his hands on either side of your head, locking his gaze with yours as he began pumping his cock into you. Each stroke made him go deeper into you as he enjoyed watching your reactions.
Each thrust drove him deeper inside of you, making you cry out louder with each thrust. Reaching up, you placed your hands on the sides of his face, holding him in place as you gazed into his eyes. You could see the heat radiating from them as he stared at you hungrily.
“Fuck, Yunho.” You moaned as you felt his hard dick sliding in and out of you. “You fill me up so well.”
Taking a deep breath, he placed his forehead against yours and let out a shaky sigh. His breathing was ragged as he savored the sensation of being buried deep inside you. Looking into your eyes, he knew that there would never be another person like you. Someone who understood him without saying a word. Someone who finally knew his identity and did not judge him for it. For some reason, he knew that nothing was more important to him than this moment. Nothing could ever come close to the feeling of having you wrapped around him. Nothing could possibly come close to what he felt right now.
Pulling back slightly, he stared deeply into your eyes before meeting your lips with his in a heated kiss. His lips crashed against yours as he deepened the kiss, exploring your mouth with his tongue. Pressing harder against you, he rocked his hips against yours, grinding his cock against your swollen clit. Both of you moaned loudly as he thrust faster and harder, intensifying the feeling that was building up within you.
Grinding his hips against yours even harder, he could feel his balls tightening. He let out a low growl as he slid his hands up and down your thighs, gripping your ass as he rocked into you faster and faster. You moaned into his mouth as he pumped into you harder, hitting that magical spot that sent fireworks shooting through your body.
“Oh fuck.” You whimpered as you arched your back, pressing yourself against him. “Yes, yes, yes. Cum in me, Yunho.”
Gripping your hips, he slammed his hips against yours as his cock exploded into your tight pussy. Warm cum flooded your depths, spilling over his shaft and causing both of you to cry out in pleasure. He stayed motionless within you, letting the pleasure wash over him as he slowly slid his softened cock from your body.
Unable to move or breathe, you laid there, trembling in ecstasy. The aftershocks of the orgasm were still coursing through you when he lifted his head and looked at you.
“Are you okay?” He asked you softly, his voice full of concern.
You smiled weakly. “More than okay.” You answered as you reached up and kissed him softly.
Yunho laughed quietly, kissing you once more before pulling away. Laying next to you, he stroked your hair as you snuggled against him.
“Remind me to thank Hongjoong later.” You said as you ran your fingers through his messy hair. “If he hadn’t convince me to stay and join his party, I would have missed the oppurtunity to meet you.”
Smiling, Yunho closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of you. “We would’ve found each other eventually.” He mumbled as he nuzzled your neck. “We’re pirates that are secretly nobles. How could we not find each other?”
Chuckling, you laid your head on his chest and sighed contentedly. “True.”
Yunho rested his chin on top of your head as you lay next to him. “Can I ask you something?”
You turned your head and looked at him. “Of course.”
He hesitated for a few seconds before continuing. “If somehow my family still had our title and status, would there have been a chance that we would have met? Would things have turned out differently?”
“If you were still Minister Jeong’s son and I was still Minister Yoon’s daughter, there would definitely have been a chance.” You answered honestly. “Who knows, our fathers would probably marry us off to each other.”
A slight smile appeared on Yunho’s lips. “Maybe they would have. Do you think you would have accepted an arranged marriage if it was me?”
You let out a laugh. “Maybe… if I liked you.” You teased him.
“Ah… that might be difficult then.” Yunho laughed. “Because I’m pretty sure I would have ended up trying to win your heart.”
“That’s possible.” You agreed with a nod. “But that’s just wishful thinking. The past is the past. All we can do now is make our future bright.”
“You’re right.” Yunho replied.
“I always am.” You grinned.
Yunho chuckled. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything.” You replied immediately.
“If one day, you or I, were to return to face what we left behind… will you return with me?”
Startled, you looked up at him, surprised by his question. Your first instinct was to answer no. After everything that had happened, you wanted to forget about the world of noblemen and their royalty. But looking into Yunho’s soft eyes and sincere expression, you knew that you couldn’t say no to him.
You grasped his hand tightly. “I promise. If we get the chance to return to that life, I’ll return with you.”
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