#and traumatises her so badly that she literally has to block out the trauma for the rest of her life

[baronmpontmercy]

Calling a woman who repeatedly abuses children in her care gender goals is not the flex you think it is

[neganisking]

801. Mercy: Grab your shittin’ pants and buckle up for the ride.

The wait is over! The long awaited premiere is finally in our laps and what a premiere it was indeed. As promised there was a hell of a lot happening in this episode and this is only the beginning of what promises to be an action packed season.

I started writing reviews last season although they fell to the wayside a little. This season I’m back and I’m eager to jabber on about the story as it unfolds and our favourite characters on both sides of the conflict not to mention the awarding of zombie kill of the week. Without further ado this is your last chance to turn back before the spoilers begin!

So we open with our hero Grimes, the man of the hour who in in a few cut together scenes begins to provide us with what I assume to be the overarching themes of the season: Hope for the future and strength and determination in the communities of the Kingdom, Hilltop and Alexandria. In all honesty I wasn’t a huge fan of how those scenes were put together mostly because I feel it seemed confusing and took away from the drive of the moment. That being said I was still thoroughly engrossed in all the apprehension. Who wouldn’t be when all the allies are being rallied to war by leaders like that? Extra points for Rick showing his kids more attention in one episode than just about all of season seven. Oops.

The answer to all our burning questions about old man Rick were answered straight off the bat which was a pleasant surprise. If I was Rick I’d be spending my thinking time living in a thriving world surrounded by my beautiful family years away from the present conflict too. I think we all felt just how badly he wants to make it all work - we do too buddy!

I must admit I was glad to see Carl out and about on his own. Of course this isn’t the first time Carl has gone rogue but this might be the first time that Rick actually knows about. Carl wasn’t the only one disappointed when it turned out that Rick had been following him the whole time. I was pretty bummed too. Give the kid a chance! With my limited knowledge of the future of the show and the comic (I haven’t read ahead of the show) I’d say it’s setting up for some familiar discussions about what Carl is and is not capable of not to mention with the new face in the gas station, the overarching argument about who to trust and how to keep hold of our humanity and give others a chance in this barren world. Watch this space!

I definitely enjoyed seeing the complex plan unfold bit by bit rather than hear them talk about it. Every single person brought their A game - and twizzlers if you’re Tara. The uncertainty and fear is palatable amongst the ranks and the stakes felt at an all time high. Because they are of course. Above it all was a real sense of community and more importantly hope. I feel like a lot of it was an echo of the initial season 6 episodes in the whole herding of a horde to a set destination. The difference being this time the group had experience and community on their side and made it look like a walk in the park. Special mention goes to Daryl, his motorcycle and his impeccable aim. That man means business.

I thought it was an important touch as well to be provided with a reminder why team family are fighting against the saviours. The sequence with the lookouts gave us reasons (if we needed more) to justify the oncoming bloodshed. The saviour keeping a tally of kills particularly gave me the ick. I had no issue with that guy dying. It was good to see Dwight keeping to his side of the bargain too. There was a lot of uncertainty at the end of season 7 about his character and I’m calling it now that he’s trustworthy. Don’t let me down Dwight!

Moving forward to the standoff outside the Sanctuary, I was pumped as hell to hear the fire in Rick’s voice again. Even if it was from behind metal barricade. The man has well and truly taken his balls back and he wants to make Negan pay.

Speaking of Negan, he was also on form in this episode not disappointing us bringing his usual spice not to mention his crude jokes. He literally made a dick joke to the delight of myself and I’m sure a few others. Someone needs to tell him it’s not the size that counts it’s what you do with it. There was a brilliant bit of mirroring between the season 7 finale and this premiere where one side thinks they know shit but it turns out they didn’t know shit and it almost gets everything they give a shit about destroyed. See what I did there? As much as I love Negan it was great to see the tables turned on him. I felt kinda awkward for him when it almost looked like all his friends were about to ditch him and join Rick though.

Moving down Negan’s ranks to see all Negan’s lieutenants at once really linked up all the different saviour story lines from last season and it gave Negan’s ensemble more humanity somehow. My heart still aches for Eugene. I haven’t given up on the mullet man yet and to see him conflicted even for the smallest moment – a bit more screen time would be awesome just sayin’ – really hit home how difficult a position he is in. (As a side note if any of you reading this gave Josh McDermott abuse for his part as Eugene then shame on you. It’s not a documentary y’know.)

Now we need to address the snake in the room. Greggory. Fucking Greggory. I’m sure everyone else was just as pissed with his antics in the last season. From his sexist patronising remarks in the beginning, his outright treachery when he tried to expose Maggie and Sasha’s whereabouts, the time he almost killed Maggie to leaving for the sanctuary to tell on them all to Negan like a spoiled baby. Coupled with the fact that he can’t even hold his own against the undead Greggory earns absolutely no respect from me. At one point his cowardice was hilarious – still kinda is not gonna lie – but now it’s downright dangerous.

This episode was so satisfying for me in terms of Greggory being shown up for the horrible scumbag he is. There he was throwing his weight around putting on a little show for Negan and lo and behold it comes to bite him in the ass with the inevitable yet still incredibly satisfying mutiny from Jesus and the other good people of Hilltop. “Hilltop stands with Maggie!” Hell yeah. Maggie is so badass I would follow that woman anywhere. Her leader story arc is one of my favourites and I feel like it suits her character perfectly. Here’s hoping she stays out of the line of fire and has a healthy pregnancy. Baby Rhee for president!

Did everyone see Simon’s complete shift in demeanour with Greggory? It was pretty clear that Simon probably had one hell of a bad side, he’s a lot like Negan in his charisma and charm so it makes sense his ‘wrong side’ will be equally as dark. Becoming one of the newest season regulars, I get the feeling we’ll see more of this in future episodes. Did it make anyone else a little happy that he got to shove Greggory down the stairs?

Onto the main event, there was another reference this time to the season seven premiere when Rick started counting. For those of us who haven’t been fortunate enough to block out the trauma of hearing Rick Grimes scream as he tried to comprehend he idea of chopping his own son’s arm off, the dialogue of Rick channelling his inner parent and counting down will feel very familiar indeed. To me it shows just how much that day affected Rick and how he hasn’t forgotten it for a minute. He knows and he’s letting Negan know he’s going to have his revenge.

The ensuing gunfire reminded me of those stalls at the fair ground where you have to knock down all the little pictures to get a prize. For every 20 windows someone shoots through do they get an extra pack of chilli mac’n’cheese or something? I hope so. Someone’s shot hit their mark if the limping Negan was doing as he dove for cover was anything to go by. Why he left the inner sanctum of the sanctuary to hide in an RV carcass is beyond me but hey it made Rick almost loose his cool so that was fun.

By this point between the knocking down of the sanctuary walls and the incoming horde I had pretty much figured out what the full plan was but there was still enough tension in it to be afraid of it all going wrong at the last minute. But thankfully it didn’t. Well almost.

Father Gabriel was the MVP for me in season 7 with his savage comment to Spencer and how he risked his life while letting Rick know where he went when the ‘Garbage people’(?) took him. He really came into his own in season 7 and became a trusted member of team family despite going off the rails for a while back in the day. This season seems to be no different with Gabriel being almost a guiding force for Rick. A role that Hershel and Dale both played in the past. It would seem that his good nature did him a disservice this time when it came to Greggory. Fucking Greggory. I was literally shouting at my TV as though I could help the poor man as that weasel made off with his only means of escape. Now he’s stuck with Negan in what looks like a port-a-cabin. Perhaps the first victim on our hero’s side in the all out war Gabriel is far from safe.

The action didn’t stop there, team family and Co. move onwards from the sanctuary to the outposts. It was a little glossed over and the outcomes were left out entirely so I think it’s logical to assume that will be at least part of the focus for next week’s episode. With part of the gang in a walker infested smoke bomb cloud and the other infiltrating the old outpost from season 6, and the survivors from the sanctuary attack stranded inside the building for now at least, it’s safe to say the war is far from over.

Zombie kill of the week goes to Morgan with his trusty stick. It's awesome to see him in action killing saviours and walkers alike. Will he have his shit together or is he still struggling with his own morals? Only time will tell.

While this season’s premiere episode may not have been as gripping and as emotionally traumatising as last season it certainly makes up for it in the giant scope of the world that is the walking dead and the anticipating promise of so much more. If you didn’t bring them to this week’s episode, make sure you take your shittin’ pants with you next week because it’s going to be one hell of a ride.