#and they were both nonbinary sapphics

[theygender]

Anyone else get to a point in lesbian gender weirdness that makes you incapable of being attracted to straight girls? Like as a lesbian I'm specifically attracted to people who have a similar gender to me, and being sapphic makes up such an important part of my gender that I can't consider someone who's not wlw to even be in the same realm. Straight women are definitely not the same gender as me, and non-wlw nonbinary people aren't really either. Nonbinary is an umbrella term after all, and in my case the gender under that umbrella is "dyke." To me that means that other sapphics, whether they're nonbinary, transfem, or cis, are automatically gonna be closer in gender to me than anyone else. I can't be attracted to straight girls

[mobiuswings]

Drawing my girlfriend and me because I love her and I can

[bloomshroomz]

Sunset Ocean Pride Flag

I had this idea to make a flag for people who are gay for both men and women, without it being tied to a specific label. Whether you identify as bi, pan, omni, queer, gay, sapphillean, velaurian, unlabeled, or whatever the case may be, you can use this flag if you are gay for both men and women. Personally, I am gay in all directions and identify as bi, omni, queer, and gay.

The flag incorporates themes from both the sunset lesbian flag and the ocean gay flag, hence it being based on a sunset over an ocean. It visually symbolizes the unity of both gay attraction to women, and gay attraction to men. (Not necessarily exclusively! People who experience attraction to nonbinary people are also included, as are people whose attraction is not strictly gay. I'm attracted to all nonbinary genders, and my attraction to women and primarily woman-aligned people is partially straight.)

The top three stripes represent the "sunset" portion of the flag, and have meanings inspired by the lesbian flag.

Grape represents gay attraction to women. You may also describe this as lesbian attraction, sapphic attraction, trixic attraction, or whatever else you may prefer, as long as it essentially feels gay.

Rose represents independence, serenity, and peace. These were three major themes in the sunset lesbian flag which were not shared with the ocean gay flag.

Coral represents diversity, community, and love. These were themes present in both the sunset lesbian and ocean gay flags, which is part of why this portion of the sunset also represents marine life. The sky blue stripe in the ocean section shares this meaning.

The center white stripe represents gender nonconformity, transgender/genderqueer people, intersex people, and unique relationships to gender and sex. These were themes present in both the sunset and ocean flags, and are also common meanings for center white stripes in queer flags.

The bottom three stripes represent the "ocean" portion of the flag, and have meanings inspired by the ocean gay flag.

Sky blue represents diversity, community, and love, as the coral stripe does. This portion of the ocean also represents the sky.

Lapis represents joy, healing, and fortitude. These were three major themes in the ocean gay flag which were not shared with the sunset lesbian flag.

Dark indigo represents gay attraction to men. You may also describe this as vincian attraction, achillean attraction, toric attraction, or whatever else you may prefer, as long as it essentially feels gay.

You do not need permission to use this flag for any reason, whether it is for personal or commercial use. It is public domain.

[poisonheiress]

Vivziepop and Queer Rep

As we all know, many fans and media reps alike have commented on the apparent "queer rep" seen in both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel with many sighting their MLM relationships and use of Sallie May as proof of Vivzie's dedication to queer rep. Yet for how much this idea is spouted across social media, I cannot say that Viv truly cares about Queer Representation in her shows. The apex of this disagreement comes from phrase that man people seem to not remember when it comes down to queer rep: Representation for one is not Representation for all.

In her hyperfocus on thin, cis mlm relationships, Vivzie creates rep for only those relationships, leaving behind countless other queer identities and relationships that also heavily need queer rep. The largest dismissal of queer individuals/relationships in HH or HB appears in characters that fall into one of three categories, The Fat, Sapphic, and The Nonbinary.

The Fat

When some of you look at this, you may be confused as to what fatness has to do with queer rep, I would tell you that it has a lot to do with it. Fat people are not inherently removed from queerness and have been there since the beginning, the creation of the term Bear is proof of that. This is the first strike on HH and HB's records.

As many other creators have thoroughly pointed out, fat representation is abysmal in both HH and HB with either shows either lacking fat rep completely or having fat characters made using more fatphobic stereotypes than I could count. With this poor managing of fat representation, its no surprise that Vivzie pop ignores all possible avenues of queer rep with fat people involved. This also impacts her presentation of mlm ships with all those in these ships only appear as thin cis men, not a single bear or trans man in sight.

The Sapphic

The second largest and arguably most obvious strike against Viv comes in her disturbing lack of sapphic relationships in both shows. While HH has at least one sapphic ship (Charlie and Vaggie), HH has none to speak of. As a result, Viv's ratio of Sapphic to Achillean relationships is heavily one-sided.

It shouldn't take me having to say this for many of you to realize that you cannot claim to have true or complete queer representation when you ignore a whole side of the queer community. While this issue in sapphic relationships likely tied to Vivzie's smaller amount of women in her stories, this does not excuse it. Having one or two of these secondary characters be in a sapphic relationship (especially Sallie May) be shown or even mentioned in passing (not random background shoots) has having a girlfriend would fix this issue, but we cannot even get that.

The Nonbinary

The final strike against Vivzie's queer rep comes in both shows ignoring the existence of nonbinary characters as a whole. While we get some presentation for the binary trans community (even though most are background characters never seen again besides Sallie May), we have yet to see a single nonbinary character in either show's canon.

This is honestly fucking ridiculous. To ignore an entire gender identity because its easier or you simply don't want to is ridiculous and should strip any claimed queer rep media from their title. Nonbinary people have always existed throughout time in different countries and cultures. To think that they're wouldn't be a single nonbinary sinner or demon in hell after all this time does not make sense.

Trans people on the binary and nonbinary side have the right to representation equally, and even if we were to ignore the concerns about Viv's current trans rep, trans people deserve more rep than random background characters and a one dimensional trans woman.

The Finale

As I end this essay, I do want to say that I wanted to discuss HH and HB's treatment and ignorance of asexuality and aromanticism as they are both highly relevant to the discussion. However, I need to do more digging on Alastor and his ace situation first before I do so in order to prevent spreading misinformation.

But even without this section, I still stand on my belief that neither of Viv's shows should be paraded around as good queer media or as truly supporting queer rep. While HH has a little more leeway with Viv's only sapphic ship, HH and HB still ignore large sections of the queer community. It feels more like Viv is picking at the parts of the community she likes more, grabbing at the more marketable identities and appearances until she has enough to call her show queer.

I hope one day Viv will listen to her fans and critiques about this lack of other queer identities but I will not hold my breath. All that is left to say is that queer people deserve better especially in adult shows and in animation. Picking and choose what queer people you include in your media simply because you like one more is the farthest thing from queer rep.

[yourfavismspechomohet]

love, there’s no such thing as a “bi lesbian.” someone can’t be bi and a lesbian. Coming from a lesbian myself it just doesn’t happen that way. Being a bisexual means that you like BOTH, being a lesbian means you ONLY like non men. It’s a mockery of real lesbians, it’s not a real sexuality.

Let’s take this apart separately, shall we?

“There’s no such thing as a Bi Lesbian”

Tell that to all the Bi Lesbians that follow me, and like my posts, and request for posts.

Tell that to the Bi Lesbians I reblog from and talk to occasionally.

Tell that to the older queers that identify as Bi Lesbians.

I guess apparently they don’t exist then. 🤷

“Someone can’t be Bi and a Lesbian”

Ah, this is a very popular one on this blog that I keep getting. I could link you to those, but I won’t. Here’s some ways you can be Bi and a Lesbian at the same time:

Biromantic Homosexuals

Homoromantic Bisexuals

Bi people who label themselves as Lesbians, to reclaim queer history. Because ALL Sapphics, regardless of if they were attracted to men or not, were referred to as Lesbians.

Bi people may also label themselves as Lesbians to reclaim being called a Lesbian by Biphobes trying to get them to pick one.

Bi people who lean more towards women, may call themselves Bi Lesbians.

Abroromantics/Abrosexuals may label themselves as Bi Lesbians because their orientation only swings back and forth between those two.

“Coming from a Lesbian myself, it just doesn’t happen that way.”

Well, for the second part, “It doesn’t happen that way”, just go back to the previous comments on “Someone can’t be Bi and a Lesbian”. It does and can happen.

Now for the first part “Coming from a Lesbian myself”. I hear this a lot. Not just from Lesbians, not just from queer people, but people of all different communities, one thing I hear all the time is “Coming from a [Blank] myself”. You need to understand that you are not the only Lesbian on earth. And Lesbians are not a hive-mind. You’re not all the same, and you’re not all going to have the same opinions. If that were the case, all Lesbians would look, talk, act the same way, and have the same views. But you don’t, because you’re not a hive-mind. Simply implying that all people of the same sexuality should have the same opinions is wrong. Believe it or not, I’ve seen all different kinds of lesbians who were Pro-Mspec Lesbian, who were Anti-Mspec Lesbian, and were neutral on Mspec Lesbians. And if all Lesbians had the same opinions, you would not be separated on these different opinions.

“Being a bisexual means that you like BOTH, being a lesbian means you ONLY like non men.”

Being Bi means that you could just about like any gender. It doesn’t just mean both, as in men and women. Bi people could definitely just be attracted to women and men, but they’re also Bi people attracted to all different kinds of genders under the Nonbinary umbrella.

As for being a Lesbian, it means that you’re attracted to women and Nonbinary people. And if we can agree on that, we also have to agree that there are other Nonbinary genders where one identifies as a woman AND a man, that you may also be attracted to. Saying that Lesbians don’t like men excludes Multigender people. Even if that’s not how you mean for it to sound, I can tell you that a lot of Multigender people feel that way.

Also, a common misconception is that Non-Men and Non-Women is okay to use for Gay and Lesbian definitions. It’s not. What you probably didn’t know, is that the terms have racist origins. Black and indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since this definition was coined. “Non-Men” and “Non-Women” are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people.

Forcing these terms for queer definitions is Anti-Black, I could forgive you if you didn’t know that and stop using those definitions after now knowing the origins.

But if you still use these definitions even after knowing this, congratulations! You’re racist! Pretty sure there was a book about this, “Bad faith and anti-black racism” by Lewis R. Gordon.

“It’s a mockery of real lesbians, it’s not a real sexuality.”

Mspecs have just as big a part in Lesbian history as Lesbians.

All sapphics were Lesbians regardless of if they liked men.

The term “Bi Lesbian” has been around since the 70s. I’d like to see you try and tell an older queer Bi Lesbian, that they’re “mocking” Lesbians and that their sexuality isn’t real. They probably accomplished more than you have in your entire life, because you want to fight with people on queer labels that you think are and aren’t valid because apparently no queer identity is acceptable unless you agree with it.

Love, wether you like it or not, Bi Lesbians and even male Lesbians have always existed and will continue existing. And they don’t need your permission to be themselves.

[sapphicsvibes]

something i noticed, because this blog is fairly new, is that when i started posting in trans tags and looking for trans informative posts, the algorithm would always send me very informative posts about transmasculinity and transmascs issues, but popular transmascs bloggers, but when it came to transfem posts, the algorithim would push a lot of transfem porn, and if there were posts about transfemininty, it would be from usually non transfems , sometimes those same trans mascs bloggers, speaking against trans fem issues or speaking over trans fems. and then of course, a whole bunch of trans fem porn.

even when looking in the transmisogyny tag, the posts that tend to get the most visibility are non transfems speaking on trans fem issues, and i mean against trans fems.

for a trans person just getting on tumblr and trying to establish a presence of both trans fem and trans masc content that is informative, it is extremely hard, if not impossible to find posts on trans fems without having to search. and a lot of popular trans fem bloggers, that specifically talk about trans feminine issues, are not pushed up by the algorithm and their posts are often overshadowed.

Even now, as my blog is mostly centered around women, sapphics and misogyny affected people, trans women and lesbianism are still not pushed on my algorithim. if there is trans stuff, it is mostly trans masc.

i am a genderfluild nonbinary person but follow a lot of transfems, lesbians, femme identifying people, etc., and i think these types of groups tend to be black listed on tumblr.

*edit* i also dont think that women partaking in porn is bad or inherently wrong. that is NOT the message i want this to convey. but i want to convey that it's strange that trans mascs get informative posts circulated by the algorithm and transfems get primarily porn circulated

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: merpeople

Everything from pretty, magical sirens and selkies to eldritch monstrosities and murderous, scientifically plausible fish-people, merpeople as a whole have a special allure and surprising versatility to them. Allow me to share with you some books!

(Also, did you know that a lot of mermaid books are very queer? If not, you're about to find out!)

Continue under the readmore for details and my thoughts on the books!

Other book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding

Really cool sci-fi worldbuilding

Dark sapphic romances

Vampire books

The Shape of Water by Guillermo del Toro & Daniel Krauss

Surely this one needs no introduction on tumblr dot com, the monsterfucker site? In 1960s America, Elisa works as a cleaner in a government laboratory when a strange fish creature is brought in to be studied, and an immediate connection sparks between the two.

Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky trilogy) by Rebecca Roanhorse

This isn't so much a mermaid book as a fantasy book in which one of the main characters is of merpeople heritage. In a pre-columbian inspired world, sea captain Xiala travels with a mysterious scarred passenger toward a dangerous goal. Also features bisexual and nonbinary leads!

Ice Massacre (Mermaids of Eriana Kwai trilogy) by Tiana Warner

Young Adult. A small island is forced to defend itself against intruding forces of vicious mermaids. As all men trying to fight them get lured in by their siren song, a ship filled with warrior girls is sent instead. However one of them, Meela, had a complicated past with one of the mermaids, which is brought back to life when the two reunite on the battlefield. Sapphic romance. This one is also available as an ongoing webcomic.

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

A research vessel heads towards the Mariana Trench in search of answers of what happened to a ship which mysteriously lost all its crew some time earlier. In the deep dark, something intelligent and hungry awaits them. Very much mermaids of the horror variety. Sequel to a novella. Also contains a sapphic romance, however that is a pretty small part of the plot as a whole.

Our Bloody Pearl (These Treacherous Tides series) by D.N. Bryn

A siren who's been held captive by a pirate is freed, but too injured to survive on their own as their tail has become paralyzed. Another pirate captain decides to help them out and has to work to win their trust. Fairly fluffy and light on worldbuilding and plot (though there is a bit of a revenge story in there), with a focus on character and recovery. m/nb romance with an asexual love interest.

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Novella. Yetu holds the memories of her people, descendants of pregnant African slave women who were thrown overboard, a past forgotten by everyone but her. But holding the memories alone is slowly destroying her, and she flees to the surface. A look at inter-generational trauma and the scars it leaves.

The Mermaid's Daughter by Ann Claycomb

A continuation on the classical fairy tale. Kathleen, up and coming opera singer, has suffered from a lifelong and unexplainable stabbing pain in her feet. As both her mother and grandmother died from suicide, possibly due to a similar condition, Kathleen's girlfriend convinces her to try and find out more of her family history. More of a magical realism than a full on fantasy (with a lot of focus on the intricacies of opera) but very beautiful.

Winter Tide by Ruthanna Emrys

Lovecraftian fishpeople! Aphra and her brother are the only survivors after the government raided their home, Innsmouth. Their only living family are the amphibian people of the deep, whom they will one day join, but until then they are bound to land where they struggle to build new lives for themselves after the great loss of their home and loved ones. Then rumors start to spread of a russian agent seeking dangerous and ancient magic, forcing Aphra to involve herself as they try to stop it. Does contain horror elements but is generally a much more optimistic look on cosmic horror than most lovecraftian stories, told from the perspective of one of his monsters. Lots of focus on found family and rebuilding of community. Asexual main character (however I don't think that becomes in-text confirmed until the sequel).

Eelgrass by Tori Curtis

When Bettan, a selkie, has her skin stolen by a man and gets forced into marriage, her best friend Efa is determined to save her. The other selkies however refuse to help, and so Efa seek out the help of dangerous mermaids in the hopes of rescuing her friend. Atmospheric and beautiful, with a very nice balance of platonic love between friends and a (sapphic) romance, both portrayed as equally important.

The Moon and the Sun by Vonda N. McIntyre

You can't go wrong with a Vonda McIntyre novel just, like, in general. This one is set in 17th century France, where a young woman and her brother travel to live at the royal court, where they are to care for and study a strange captured sea monster fabled to have the ability to grant eternal life. A lot of focus on court politics as well as the cultural and biological differences between the humans and the mermaid. Also available as a movie (but it's not very good, please just read the book).

Sommaren 1985 by John Ajvide Lindqvist

Including this on the list feels a little mean because it's not yet available in english, but all of the author's other works have been translated (fun fact, he's the writer of internationally acclaimed vampire novel Let the Right One In!) so odds are this one will be as well. It follows a group of young teens in 1985 finding a mermaid tied up on a beach and hiding her in a bathtub in a shed. While the mermaid is important, it's more of a coming-of-age story with few supernatural elements. The author generally writes horror, and while I wouldn't classify this as such it certainly has an ominous atmosphere throughout. Gay main character but no romance (other than sideplots involving other characters).

The Girl from the Sea by Molly Knox Ostertag

Young adult graphic novel. Morgan, a young girl living on an island, meets a selkie with whom she quickly sparks a connection. But Morgan has yet to tell anyone about her feelings about girls, and the selkie has secret motives of her own as to why she chose to come on land. Sapphic romance with enviromental themes. Very pretty art.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

The Mermaid the Witch and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall

Young adult sapphic fantasy featuring not only mermaids but also pirates!

Out of the Blue by Jason June

A young merperson must leave the sea to undergo a coming-of-age journey - and risk getting stuck on land forever.

Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz

A boy living on an isolated island befriends a merperson with dangerous secrets.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't quite work for me but maybe you guys will like them:

The Seafarer's Kiss by Julia Ember (sapphic little mermaid retelling from Ursula's perspective), Weird Fishes by Rae Mariz (enviromental novella), The Fate of Stars by S.D. Simper (fantasy, sapphic enemies to lovers)

[sun-citadel]

The violet sapphic flag

I decided to start work on a sapphic flag, as the original one did not feel inclusive to masculine presenting sapphics. The inclusive sapphic flag also felt too random for me to feel aligned, so I spent time researching a flag design

Excuse any spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Info below. Original thread here. Tiktok version [ without typos ]

1. Why violets ?

The poetry of Sapphos often included talk of violet crowns, with one of her famous poems reading ;

` … Many crowns of violets,

roses and crocuses

…together you set before more

and many scented wreaths

made from blossoms

around your soft throat… `

Violets historically are considered a symbol of sapphic love and the LGBT movement, and are seen in pop culture, such as the cult classic lesbian movie, Bound. A 1926 play also involved a woman sending violets to another, as a potential nod to Sapphos. When the poem was censored / boycotted, women would send violets in support.

To say violets were not a part of LGBT + , and primarily spaphic / lesbian history would be a false statement.

2. Why these colours ?

I colour picked from violets themselves, primarily the African and common violet. One for their inclusion of white, and the other for its range of hues from more blue to magenta. I felt they could align with the various presentations seen within sapphic culture, as I myself ID as transmasculine / presently as a soft butch. There are those who are transfemme, femme, masc, androgynous, etc., and this various spectrum of colours I feel could align with how the community is not just one, but various shade of violet.

I spent time researching LGBT history, and have come up with meanings for these specific colours. They were carefully chosen for both traditional colour meanings, as well as symbolisms that align with the LGBT+ community.

From lavander to pink, both colours have a history of representing the community, and have become symbols reclaimed. From sapphos flowers, to the pink triangle, it is important to remember our history and struggles. Pink triangles itself was used as a symbol for transwomen, as an identifier for example [ as well as gay individuals, but this isn't about them at this time ] , but have been reclaimed to represent lgbt+ rights and our struggles. It is important to never forget those who came before us.

Each colour was picked based off traditional meanings, as well as identifying traits of the community.

3. Colour meanings?

From top to bottom, these colour meanings are ;

1. Femininity, health.

Pink is associated with femininity, so this is for the purely femme presenting individuals, whether trans, nb, or however they ID. It also is the colour of love, and health [ ex , ` everything is rosy ` meaning good ] .

2. Love, compassion.

A lighter shade of pink is usually associated with love, and with love comes compassion and understanding.

3. Youth and age.

From our lives comes the fact that, we as sapphics, lesbians, etc. know that deep down, this is who we truly are. Whether you're young, or come to the realization later, we live life as our authentic self. May we grow old and happy.

4. Limitless potential.

With those who are not afraid to break the gender / sexual binary, and present in ways uncaring of societal norms.

Whether trans, nonbinary, asexual, or uncaring of labels, I hope you find who you truly are.

5. Soft masculinity.

To be soft and masculine is frowned upon in society, but some of us present in ways that we deem just right. It is an oxymoron on many levels to those who do not understand, but we are indifferent and stand tall.

6. Wisdom.

With our history, we can learn and grow, it is important to never forget it. Ever on we march to assure that we are treated as equals.

7. Serenity, masculinity.

A nod to the original flag that brought us here, while also representing the other side of the spectrum for fully masc individuals. Once again, this is for those in the trans umbrella, or comfortable in their gender.

4. Who can use it ?

Sapphics or anyone who falls into that general category.

TERF / SWERFS / anyone not inclusive of the trans community are not permitted.

Please do not use if m - spec lesbian.

[multigenderswag]

Multigender Survey Results Dec 2023: Anything else relevant

Participants were asked "Share anything else about your multigender identity that you find relevant" and had the option to respond with long answer text. Some notable responses include:

As a m+f bigender person who uses he/she pronouns, I sometimes feel like the "he" refers to my female side, and the "she" refers to my male side

I am no longer religious/Christian, but the expression “God is Change” resonates deeply with me and my approach to gender as experience. I accept that my gender (holistically) is an amalgamation, something that breathes new life into itself repeatedly and often unexpectedly, sustained by its own willingness to grow past its bounds and taste richness anew. Teaching is part of my work, and as such I consider myself an eternal student: gender is just one avenue for discovery and learning for me.

I feel so boring but it is what it is, name wise I use one (completely feminine) with group A and one (completely masculine) with group B and hope and pray that they never interact

I identified as a 'tomboy' (gender wise) as a child and transmasc as a teenager. As an adult part of my being multigender is honouring these past versions of myself and acknowledging that who I was is an important part of who I am today.

I like to describe my gender like this: imagine there’s a house on a street. the house represents being a boy/male, and being *in* the house means you’re binary male. The road represents a neutral, non-male/female gender. My gender is like the driveway — both part of the road *and* the house

i think this is relevant-ish, but the way i experience gender kind of feels like. there's a man and a woman in my head at all times, not in a system way so much as a (this is very obviously stupid but i can't find another comparison to articulate it) inside out way. they're both always there, and they're both separate, but at the same time, they come together to make the same person, me! nonbinary is a label i understand and identify with, mostly to simplify the matter for others, but in reality, it kind of feels like a... superbinary of sorts. i'm 100% a man, and 100% a woman, but because the binary only "allows" you to choose one, nonbinary is technically correct, isn't it?

I'm multigender in the "one gender that fits into several categories" way than being multigender in a "has multiple genders" way

My gender is the intersection of butch dyke and trans man. I'm questioning things right now, but I'm somewhere in that region, with a foot in both at once. I've always been drawn to butchness and sapphicism as well as transmasculinity. I think most of my journey to understand my gender has been a balancing act between identifying as enough of a guy to feel comfortable in my skin but non-binary enough to not have to abandon my identity with butchness. Recently I've adopted the label multigender, and it's helped a lot. I'm only even a little bit a girl if I can be a boy first and foremost, and I could be just a boy or just a dyke but I would have to kill part of myself to do so. I'm trying to find a way to exist in my gender without blood on my hands. I think I'm getting there. It's hard but I'm getting there.

It is complicated but I love it

Yay I love multi gender people we are so cool. <3

A number of participants also referenced being autistic and how that has influenced their multigender identity, so it is possible that autism may be included as a question on the next survey.

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

I think I just had a realization about the term "TME" being used with regards to only sapphic/lesbian spaces and how that relates to transmasculine erasure.

All people who aren't cis or gender conforming experience systemic oppression due to being non-cis or GNC. However, specifically in homosexual spaces, this oppression applies differently depending on whether someone is transmasc, transfem, or something else. The "talking about transandrophobia is transmisogynistic" crowd likes to focus overly on sapphic and lesbian spaces, entirely ignoring achilleans and gay men. And that makes sense, because that group is mostly made up of transfems and trans women! It is okay to not mention transmascs when you're talking specifically about transfem issues! However the issue arises when they deny the oppression that comes with being an AFAB homosexual man(-adjacent person).

Often, transandrophobia deniers who are transfem will claim that transmascs are privileged over transfems specifically by using the dynamics in lesbian communities as evidence. Though transmasc lesbians experience systemic oppression too (butchphobia), transmasc lesbians are incredibly privileged over transfem lesbians when it comes to intracommunity dynamics. Then, transandrophobia deniers will leave it at that and not even consider transmasc issues, labeling us as "TME" and contributing to our erasure. One example which shows this, and that I've discussed at length in another post, is a transandrophobia denier saying this:

As I've said before on this blog, this type of statement screams "I am extremely uneducated on transmasculine erasure." By claiming that TEHMs simply care about gatekeeping their communities, you're agreeing with their rhetoric. TEHMs are, literally, the male version of transphobic lesbians. Full stop. They are exactly as dangerous and actually a lot more common than transphobic lesbians, and this has been supported by many surveys.

So why this long digression into talking about TEHMs? Because the experience of being transmasc in a gay men's space is more similar to being transfem in a lesbian space than it is to being transmasc in a lesbian space. This is because we as people who were assigned a different gender at birth from the gender that most people in our respective queer spaces are or were assigned at birth face many of the same issues, and trying to apply a TMA/TME framework to the oppression that we face only works when we look at sapphic spaces because GNC cis men and AMAB enbies in queer men's spaces actually have privilege over us AFAB people.

In fact, many TEHMs are accepting of, and will date, feminine nonbinary people who were AMAB. None of this makes sense if we apply a framework that centers transmisogyny. Instead, it's helpful instead to see transmisogyny and transandrophobia as two sides of the same coin: both are an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, but they apply to different groups of people and affect us in different ways.

I guess my main point here is that centering transmisogyny in discussions of trans liberation and trans-inclusive feminism will only continue to perpetuate transmasculine erasure and transandrophobia, and denying that this happens makes you, in fact, part of the problem.

[emeldiir]

Hello! I’ve been a bisexual sapphic for my entire life (save for the few times I thought I was a lesbian) and I am also transneutral and on Testosterone. I’ve been struggling to feel comfortable enough to ID as butch for a while because of online (twitter) discussions making it a “lesbian only term”. Do u have any advice that could help me both feel comfortable and explain to my friends how I feel? Thank you!

- 🪐

Twitter is an absolute hell hole of young queers refusing to read anything about queer history and assuming that they have monopoly on queer identity and discussion.

first things first, the people who deny bisexual people our queerness are the same people who parrot the talking points that bisexuals cannot be butch or femme. this is woefully ignorant of a good 80% of queer history.

lesbian bar culture is where butch and femme got popularized within the queer community, and during the 1930s through 50s, the lesbian community included anyone who would be sapphically identified today, anyone who was transgender (man, woman, nonbinary, agender) and anyone else who resonated with the community.

butch and femme were coined within the queer ballroom scene, and the labels were spearheaded by black and brown queer people of all orientations and gender identities. Ballroom culture has catagories such as ‘butch queen realness,’ ‘femme queen realness,’ ‘butch queen up in pumps,’ and many more.

the idea that butch and femme are lesbian only arose with polical lesbianism in the 1970s when political lesbains (some who were heterosexual woman attempting to practice their feminism through the lesbian identity) attempted to distance themselves from anything remotely connected to men. this included bisexual sapphics, trans men, and trans women.

The reason i always speak about the history of the butch/femme labels is that when discussing the nature of butch/femme, when being interrogated or harassed for using the identities as a non lesbian queer person, the most important thing for us to remember is that we are historic. we have existed for decades, and anyone who tries to deny our history has not listened to their queer elders, does not have a good grasp of queer theory, culture and history, and are so focused on pushing their own harmful narrative into queer spaces that they end up a danger to the community.

the people who say this sort of stuff are more focused on being bigoted towards bisexuals then doing any sort of research to back up their claims.

I hope this helped! I’m a little scatterbrained today so if you need more information you can look through the #ro talks about butch things tag on my blog, i’ve archived a whole lot about bisexual butches and femmes.

and just to reassure you a bit, I would be more then happy to share a space beside you, my fellow butch. we need more solidarity in this world, and you are more then butch enough to stand beside me. much love <3

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

[vacantgodling]

right, sexualities of all my MAIN characters from ALL my wips (as i can best describe them)

i'm leaving out rouge ocs like stellan or lauchlan just cuz they don't have a story they're just vibing lol. i'm also leaving out ones where i genuinely don't know yet like itri or seamus.

hyacinthus shrapnel (paramour) -> gay but extremely picky. he was wholly uninterested in sexuality and sex AT ALL until amon

amon (paramour) -> gay and he’s being very whorish about it

lavendula calderon (requiem for the monochrome) -> bisexual but hasn’t really been able to explore her attraction to non-men until the story starts.

erecia (requiem for the monochrome) -> straight-lesbian. she’s butch & troibemme (nb in this universe) but would consider herself bigender she/he in our terminology and fully considers herself both a man and a woman at the same time. she would honestly prefer the label straight-lesbian more than sapphic bc she’s not a woman all the time and that speaks to her experience more than anything.

narcissus spokes (prim & provocative) -> aro-graysexual (sex and romance positive). it’s something she comes to discover throughout her narrative. she doesn’t really experience or feel romance or desire for sex in a traditional way; she desires being wanted so she wants those things for herself but she doesn’t experience the actual attraction herself. she didn’t realize it bc on paper before her divorce, she didn’t have to question any of it—being with myrtus and being casually intimate but never hot and heavy seriously never bothered her. once he leaves though, through meeting new friends (i’m cooking) and generally going through it grants her new perspective.

tagetes gunn (empire) -> aroace (kink positive). the only attraction they have is to power.

kirsi sunniva (alizath) -> bisexual, with a preference for mascs

quill (teardrops of the gods) -> bisexual, with a preference for femmes

darren de leon (vampires don't take roadtrips) -> bisexual with a preference for mascs. he actually thought he was gay for most of his life until he turned like 14 and then he realized "oh, girls are kinda hot too"

julissa vaughn (donut wip) -> bisexual & polyamorous. the dream ending of this wip is her, joaquin, andres, saul and daisy ending up in a quintouple but alas.

noi randiche (noi, alone) -> nblm. they're nonbinary and they like men so. they don't really like labels anyway, but if they had to describe it that's what they'd say.

jenna magboo (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> bi-ace lesbian. she and carlos are in a qpr basically but in terms of fleeting romantic feelings she'd align more with lesbian (all of her 'crushes' have been women or femme-aligning but she doesn't experience attraction That strongly) but she also doesn't think she's had enough experience to say she's not bi also. lesbian is an important label to her especially because both of her mothers are lesbian, but she also knows she's young and likes the complexity of her labels.

carlos carvalho (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> aroace (sex/romance repulsed). in a qpr and is a caretaker of jenna - though when i say they're in a qpr its a very unspoken thing between them. like, jenna's whole goal is to become a witch and then make carlos her familiar so they're never separated, so i think that's very explicit about what they are to each other pff.

n blackburn (dead rites) -> the way that n barely registers his sexuality bc he's married to his work LMAOOOO. he'd say that he's pan, it really has more to do with the mental connection than physical attraction for him so anything is fair game (but again... married to his work actually)

beau bellerose (dead rites) -> gay gay homosexual gay

jihan (supernatural dads) -> pan, he's too old to have a preference and he's very open to experimenting.

hue rvynwell (supernatural dads) -> gay and he definitely had a crisis about it when he was growing up. however in his family it was such a nonissue LMAO they were like "why the hell would we care about that just make sure you have a kid" and whaddya know, he had 2!

piper fairwind (tcol) -> queer probably but she doesn't really think about any of that. if she were in our world, labels would be like the most meaningless shit to her LMAO.

san dearborn (tcol) -> aro-queer. romance is just not something she can wrap her head around however she does get into a... teammate with benefits relationship in book 2 that i think is funny as fuck.

deux undershield (tcol) -> literally the first cishet character to appear on this list LMAO

forte symphonia (tcol) -> bisexual

clear brightendale (tcol) -> gay and he's hiding So Deep in the closet he needs someone to tell him its ok to come out lmaooo (aka: literally everyone)

di absyna (lukewarm rejection) -> gay but at what cost (his strict religious parents being generally horrible is one cost pff)

toph (lukewarm rejection) -> bisexual and a menace, but mostly attracted to mascs.

nyseah nicoletti (nondisclosure) -> she's trans heteroflexible basically. she's mostly attracted to guys but she also definitely cares more about a connection than anything else so she's open to exploring. (also she's pff married to my partner they love her LMAO)

donte macbride (nondisclosure) -> gay but more than being gay, he's fucking exhausted.

alona springwell (nondisclosure) -> the second cishet to appear on this list LMAO.

dagmar (celestial weddings) -> being mspec and polyamorous is literally just the default sexuality of the world of celestial weddings so yeeee.

graves (the graves we dug) -> FAGGOT COWBOY YEEHAW. pff but yeah he's gay. and sad.

dove (the graves we dug) -> another faggot cowboy lmao he's gay.

calvin im (purple haze) -> the first cishet dude on this list

jake deluna (purple haze) -> bisexual but he has a rough time coming to terms with this.

nevaeh (god eater) -> tbh i don't think nevaeh even knows what sexuality is (being a beacon of paradise is a very isolating lot in life) but i think they're probably gray across the board. the idea of romance or sex isn't really something they have much of a concept in their brain yet but they're curious about it.

little bear (god eater) -> mspec polyamorous; he doesn't really have time for relationships most of the time but he's definitely open to being ridden by anyone who wants to give it a go.

taj (god eater) -> pan and very in... some sort of codependent infatuation with thei.

thei (god eater) -> pan and tired. in a codependency relationship thing with taj.

lennon rhapsody granger (gothica) -> a surprise cishet appears.

aurora o'rion (gothica) -> bisexual and a whore about it

morrigan briarcos (gothica) -> gay and longsuffering. lennon is his (1) exception.

chidori jonson (train master chidori) -> just generally considers himself queer :)

nyoka (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> demi. its verin or bust.

verin (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> mspec but he's a centuries old god so like the concept of sexuality is mostly funny to him. he likes what he likes.

red (red death and the oracle's favor) -> aroace (sex repulsed bc of trauma). her and hel are in a qpr and i'm obsessed with them and their relationship

hel (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but loves red more than he loves dick and that's saying something. he doesn't expect her to say it back or feel the same as him but she cares about him in her own way and he's extremely not normal about it. he also wants to jump arden's bones and Did.

arden (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but he can't be gay and the king so he's very closeted. not unaccepting of it but he definitely is not talking about it and only allows himself to indulge with hel under the cover of darkness.

ranger pellish (sixteen candles) -> aro-bisexual and Very sex positive. he's such a slut and he lives by that. him and nan are basically a qpr.

nanette rosenfeld (sixteen candles) -> lesbian but she & range are inseperable and she's definitely given him the strap on many occasion to make him shut the hell up.

tuker hayes (sixteen candles) -> disaster bi with a 13 year long crush on vani he's hopeless.

vanilla vega (sixteen candles) -> demi-pansexual <3

roger grant (sixteen candles) -> probably not straight but is he willing to admit that to himself right now? absolutely not :DDDD

marvin (marvin & linda) -> sexuality doesn't matter because the company is more important (probably gay but yknow. his identity is kind of irrelevant to him)

linda / stephen (marvin & linda) -> mspec but marvin's the first person he's had a connection with on a romantic level.

prosper morning (the white shirts) -> hasn't thought about it too hard, but he definitely thinks marin is attractive and he Hates That a lot.

jane morning (the white shirts) -> she hasn't thought about it before so unknown

marin (the white shirts) -> gay asf

noh bell (noble) -> gay gay homosexual gay space super solider teehee.

peri (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy, most lifetimes he's demi-gay. but he's really only ever attracted to dandy

dandy (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy he's pan but he's also only ever looking for peri and only sleeps with people who have "peri energy" (whatever the hell that means lmao)

utah (broken clouds) -> fagggggggggggggggggg

gator (broken clouds) -> faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggg

slug (broken clouds) -> literally they don't know or care about any of that.

sjaak de witte (btaf) -> if he were in modern times, he'd be bisexual probably. and suffering.

biscella (btaf) -> another surprise cishet but i think in modern times she'd also probably be bi i just don't think in the canon verse she had the thought or bandwidth to explore her attraction to women (much to azelie's sadness)

[slowdesire]

i would love to hear more ab the sapphics only event!

omg i’d love to share! i’m not sure which exact details to spill so i’ll just talk off the top of my head

so i’ve been following the instagram account of this local group that organizes sapphic events for foreverrrrr but ive never been able to go either because of work/conflicting schedules, or my strict parents (meaning i had a difficult time sneaking out especially for night events at my big age of 23). but last weekend i finally had a weekend completely alone so i went for it!

i’m also not much of a party person even if deep in my heart i always knew i could enjoy it 🥲 so i was pretty awkward at first since i attended alone but i befriended a few other people who went alone! also the drag queens’ performances were amazing ive never seen anything like it in real life and i think watching that + getting some drinks in me really helped i danced for hourssss. the dj was amazing so much early 2000s music and chappell roan.

i also met a poly lesbian couple and they were really nice to me like they were sooooo reassuring knowing it was my first time doing this… from being nice it became rly flirty LOL. oh my godddd nonbinary masc dancing on me and feeling me up like literally putting their hands all over me (with consent bc we are not freaks) I NEARLY LOST MY MIND! i was surprisingly so chill about it in the moment. but now im crazy. like i had two people straight up telling me they wanted to make out with me and that i was really hot 😭 ive never experienced this before 😭 but even when i gave the go signal they both said they wouldn’t bc we had just met and fear of viruses WHICH IS FAIR AND I RESPECT THAT but it really left me hanging

also someone noticed formula 1 stickers on the back of my phone and we bonded over f1 for a good 5 minutes!!! lots of i love you’s being shared around the room!!! watched a bunch of people make out which was also fun!! it was such a welcoming space and it was truly only sapphics… i’ve never experienced anything like it 🩷

[musicalmoritz]

What your thought and HC on Sakumei?

SakuMei my beloveds!!

I need to see these two interact in the main manga so badly. They were shown together during Nene’s dream in ASHK, where they appeared as friends. AidaIro love to pull those “what if?” scenarios to show us that two characters would have great chemistry. Their personalities are very similar, they’re both more reserved and act annoyed with others (particularly the Yugi twins). They met off screen when Tsukasa introduced Mei to the Broadcasting Crew + Mitsuba, but we never got to see them interact. It’s super fun as a rarepair tho bcuz there’s so much to imagine with their dynamic. They compliment each other well and there’s lots of room to explore what a relationship between them would be like

As a toxic yuri enjoyer I like to hc them as exes, though I often see them depicted as girlfriends who take care of each other. I like that version of SakuMei as well, unlike some other ships I’m not too picky on how they’re written. Speaking of which, SakuMei fanfics are amazing. With every TBHK ship except Aoi//Nene the fic options are very limited so I’m always pleasantly surprised to see ones that surpass my expectations (no slander to fics for other wlw ships tho I eat up every sapphic TBHK fic I can find). Beecalm has written some SakuMei so I would 100% recommend any of their fics. Their SakuMei fan arts are also super cute

Back to my own interpretation of the ship, I like to think of them as toxic exes who stayed friends. Neither of them had much emotional intelligence when they dated so they both carry a lot of baggage from it (mainly Mei). It took awhile for them to forgive each other but now they’re best friends and they’ve grown a lot and hey, who knows?? Maybe some feelings still remain and they can get back together once they’ve matured and grown as people

For the toxic element I think of it as v much Casual by Chappell Roan vibes. I like to hc that they met prior to the start of the series, before Sakura met Natsuhiko (ik that stretches canon a tiny bit but shhhhh let me have my headcanons). With Mei as a recent supernatural having no sense of identity and Sakura as an older supernatural with no goal to cling to, they were both a bit lost. They both initially agreed that they weren’t ready for a serious relationship so they agreed to keep things casual. Only it wasn’t long before they were hanging out every single day, almost 24/7. Mei especially wanted to be loved so it wasn’t long before their casual dating became unfulfilling for her. She didn’t want to be Sakura’s friend, she wanted someone who would love her and look after her. Someone she could devote all her love to instead of repressing it. Emotions have never been Sakura’s strong suit, so they ignored Mei’s obvious unhappiness. When Mei could no longer hold it in and told them she wanted more, Sakura broke things off. This led to a lot of resentment between the two of them because they both felt like the other ruined things. Over time tho, they learned to stop blaming each other and instead focus on bettering themselves. Slowly, they began to rekindle their friendship, and now they’re back on good terms

I wanna bring up sexuality headcanons here, I love the hc of Sakura being a nonbinary lesbian. I could also see pan Sakura since in ASHK they said they don’t care abt gender but lesbian Sakura is my Sakura. I wrote a mini essay on lesbian Mei awhile back and I stand by that. I actually slightly prefer No.4 Mei to OG Mei at times but shhhhh I love them both dearly

Their dates are very lowkey, it’s enough for them just to enjoy each other’s company. Usually they’ll hang out in the art room or have a mini book club in Sakura’s boundary (with tea ofc, it’s not a Sakura ship without tea). Mei doesn’t like fiction so she reads a lot of biography and nature fact books. Sakura likes gothic horror and occasionally a good ol’ mystery book. I also have this crack hc that since Sakura has been around for so long + they blend in with humans, they’ve gone to college several time like the Cullen’s from Twilight. They probably have multiple PhDs. Mei is p much the only person who will let them infodump so she gets crash courses in every major Sakura has taken

Nowadays, if you saw them together you’d have no idea about their complicated history. I just know Nene was flabbergasted when Mei filled her in on the lore. I also like to think Mei and Natsuhiko have some lighthearted beef over Sakura…but Natsuhiko lowkey wants Mei too so it’s a whole mess (just to be clear I hc Natsuhiko as genderfluid and bi so she fits into this equation just fine dw). Their lives could be a soap opera. When Mei is feeling like turning her life around and being social she spends time with the Broadcasting Crew, so her and Sakura still see each other on a regular basis. If Mei goes too long without visiting, Sakura will go to check on her. They look out for each other in subtle ways like that, even when things were rough between them they kept finding small ways to show that they cared. Some feelings still linger so it never really stopped being complicated but they have more of a handle on things now

Anyways I love these partners who are both super bitter towards the world yet filled with love for it. Let them kiss and get back together