#and there's a few outlines in reddish pink around his eye mouth and nose

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Castiel!!

[belleta]

9:36pm

Includes: Switch!Bang Chan, switch reader, praise, slightly sensitive reader, fingering, slight bondage, edging, slight soft dom reader, music listening(headphones for best experience)

Straddling Chris’s lap, slightly aggressively kissing. Moving with one another in perfect sync. Swaying to a silent rhythm, grabbing desperately, but passionately. Every kiss, every touch, every pull on each's scalp was ethereal. Feeling each other on levels others wouldn’t understand. You ran your hands from his cheeks to his nape and raked my fingers up, through his strands. Tugging, causing him to moan quietly. Pulling you in for more, sliding his hands up and down your back, tangling with your soft locks. Rolling bodies like sea waves on shore, with no specific roles. Submission and dominance were not present. 

Feeling bored of the lounge, you pushed Chris back a little with a challenging kiss. Gripping the neck of his shirt, pulling him back towards the edge of the couch. After a few moments, you pushed him back to rest on the sofa. Tugged him forward while lightly pulling on his bottom lip, slightly baring your teeth with commanding eyes as you leaned back without him. He tried to follow but you swiftly pushed his chest back with a little force. He hit with a soft thud, mouth still agape, love and lust evidentially in his eyes. His arms raised to the head of the back pillow as you senually rose from my seat on his thighs. Chris’s eyes followed you, however his head didn’t. It stayed lowered even as you arose. Making him a hooded stare with his now swollen bottom lip, legs in a man spread. Giving him a lasting gaze as you slowly walked to our bedroom. He got up and followed. Just as he got to you, you quickly grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him close. Bringing your face close to his, mouth ajared. Moving your lips close, breath fluttering on your faces. As you brushed your noses against each other. Foreheads pressing, together lovingly. You pulled him with me into our bedroom. Pulling Chris in front of you. Moving your head up slightly to just miss his face with a breath, before softly pushing him down on the mattress. Getting in between his legs, moving your head all the way up to his face. Kissing him with such powerful emotion it could make you tear, but you held it in. Running your hands everywhere, all over his body. Making his skin needy for skin to skin contact. He started reaching for his hem, and you completed his action by pulling it up. He raised himself to sitting to let the shirt slide off. Cupping his face and kissing him passionately, which he returned. Lightly pushing him back on the bed. Placing one last kiss on his perfect now reddish lips, before sliding up to walk over to your shared closet. You quickly opened it to see the remotes for mood lights and surround sound. Turning the lights dimmer with a red tint, and playing your “Night Playlist”. You put the remotes down and grabbed a black with metal edges, medium sized chest that had a lock on it. The key was on top of it. Taking the key, put it in the lock and turned. It unlocked, opening to a bunch of toys and different restraints. You reached in to find the dark rope with silk restraints and leather cuffs. Finally grabbing a long black silk ribbon and closed the chest.                            (Listen to “Love is a Bitch” by Two Feet) Locking it and closing the closet doors, you turned back to see Chris lying back on the pillows of your shared bed looking tense. As you strode back over to him, you couldn’t tell if he was excited, afraid, or inpatient. Holding his hand and smiling down at him, he returned it relaxing a bit. You raised his hand and kissed his wrist, working your way to his shoulder and then his collar bone. Crawling on top of him, you sat just above his crotch and grinded on him. Kissing his neck and collarbones in all the right places or more of wrong places. His body started reacting, tingling with sexual frustration. You continued to kiss, lick and lightly bite his skin all over his favorite spots. His skin felt like it was on fire with desperation. Wanting something to push against his shorts. You were at his jawline, his breathing was irregular and he was letting out some involuntary whines as you would brush your hips at the top of his crotch but then move back up again. You started moving down again, sucking and playing with his nipples. Chris’s whines were breathy and now were slurred with soft moans. You started your way down again. Kissing his first rib moving towards the top of his abs. Kissing, lightly licking and nosing them. Breathing on his muscles as you reached his v-line. Paying even more attention to it then any other bit of him. Driving him absolutely crazy. You could hear him pulling on his cuffs. “Please….please…..please...baby.” He was now lifting his hip to your touch, whining for you to touch him there. “Please what baby?” You saw his hand try to reach my head to nudge your attention lower it was quickly stopped by his restrants, he let out a desperate whiny groan. You smiled, “Such a cute baby.” You stopped kissing and moved your head lower to hover above where he wanted it most. “P-please….”, You raised your hand in a scratching position and lightly glided your fingers on his clothed cock. “Please what, sweet baby?”. Waiting for his response as he raised his head up and down, shyly trying to fold the pillow around his face. “Please touch me”, he said quietly. You weren't accepting his request at that volume. “I’m sorry baby, but if you want something, you have to speak up.” You told him softly lacing with lust. “Please rub my cock”, he repeated louder. Now obliging with his words, moving your hand below it, putting pressure and rubbed it slowly once. He let out a choked moan. “Yes, yes….y-yes please...thank you baby”. He bucked his hips and met with my hand. You let it slide, he looked so beautiful. Flushed red, bottom lip sucked between his teeth, eyebrows furrowed in a needy way. Sweet, beautiful sounds escaped his mouth as he occasionally opened his mouth fully letting out even more sinful noises. The sight made you needy to get his basketball shorts out of the way, pulling at the band. He immediately responded and raised his hips. You pulled them off to meet a painful looking hard-on through his underwear. “Awww, does it hurt?......hmm?” You dirty talked him as he nodded, “Do you want me to stroke it until it explodes?” His ears and face darkened “Hmhm....”, he nodded. You started outlining and rubbing him through his black boxers. “Y-yes......p-lease, make my cock explode.” You chuckled darkly “Well you’re going to have to wait babyboy” Chris looked up confused. You swiftly flipped and roughly pulled down his underwear, making him squeal into the pillows. You then harshly pulled his hips in the air. His veiny cock didn’t even move away from his lower abdomen, it was so hard from being teased. The music around you making his body move unintentionally to the beat. You moved your eyes away from his length to his tight darker pink entrance. You brought your touch to your lips and rather lewdly suck on them. Making sure that Chris could hear you. You advanced them to his ass circling his tight rim with your wet index and middle finger. Desperate and impatient, Chris pushes back, forcing the wet digit inside him. You feel the stretch and moan with him as he fails his hands, not knowing where to put them. “Please move, g-god please fuck me please please.” He looked so beggerly spread out, his dark hair now a mess, thighs quivering. You began to slowly fuck him, trying to start a steady rhythm. You were growing impatient, wanting high whines, lewder noises. You pushed your finger around his walls as he sucked in a shuddery breath. One became three, filling him up as pushes back towards your digits, starting to bring vocals from deep in his throat as you thrust. Voice cracking, his walls clenching around you. You flip Chris over back on his back, his neglected cock dripping. Lifting his legs slightly you shove your fingers back into his greedy hole, deeper than before. Hitting his prostate dead on, his eyes rolled back, tongue lolling as he pants and moans. “F-fuck Don’t....fUck fuck im-” You grip his cock with your other hand, pumping at a relentlessly, hammering your fingers into his hole at the same pace. Chris’s knuckles are almost white due how hard he’s gripping at the sheets under him, his toes curling in the air, gasping for breath. “I-IM GONNA CUM FUCK FUCK F-UCK~”. You stopped, pulling out, growling. He cried out, losing his high. Getting up with the black silk and rope restraints you moved to the base of the bed, tying his legs down. You stand back to admire him, only to be awestruck. He looked unreal. All flushed, lust clouding his eyes, love bites painted across his milky skin, hole wet and cock red and throbbing. The lighting hitting him just right making him look sinfully angelic. You strode over to him, grabbing his left then right hand. Cuffing and loosely tying them to the headboard as he whined. The cuffs really completed the sight. You climbed back on the bed, briskly grabbing onto his length. His voice cracked as his eyes glossed over. “You look ethereal.” You said gazing at him. He whined out at both the praise and the feeling of you slowly jerking him off as you came closer to his face. He can’t help but thrust up into your hand, it just feels so good. He was aching to reach the previous pleasure he had received “Faster….please?” he moaned. “Anything for you, sweet baby. You’re so good for me, so polite,” you continue to shower him with praise, cooing, knowing how much he loves it, as you speed up your strokes. “B-baby” Chris shakily whimpers. His fists clenching and unclenching the sheets, legs trembling with every swipe of your thumb. His moans mixing with the melody, making the most beautiful music to your ears. Knowing your boyfriend's body all too well so you completely withdraw your hand. Dismissing his release once more. His head threw back in a lewd long wail. Your lips moved on his thigh, peppering light kisses on the abused skin. “I’m close..Fuck.. S-so close baby….PLEASE” he whimpers trying his hardest to not cum right then and there. You wait a little for his orgasm to fade away completely. “Such a good boy” you praised him, as he stopped whining.  (Listen to “It Won’t” by Sevyn Streeter ft. Chris Brown) “Baby”, you called, he raised his teary gaze. You lifted your hips, so that you were standing on your knees. You looked him in the eyes as you moved with the music playing all around you. Swaying and moving your hands all over your body, while you sensually remove your clothing in front of him. His eyes darkened despite his position tied to the bed and previous events done to him. Sliding up to him, removing your underwear lying next to him. You kiss him passionately, as he hungrily pushes back on your lips. You remove his cuffs and he grabs your waist, pulling you on top of him. He raised himself to sitting with you clung onto him. Your heat dragged down his cock, he groaned, you moaning. You kissed each other sensually with hunger. You move back, Chris not breaking the kiss. You removed his foot restraints. He immediately pulled you into his lap. Kissing with such passion it completely consumed the both of you. He pulled your hunches up closer to his abs, leaning back. The breathless whines coming out of your mouths as you lowered yourself down onto him. The sensation was absolutely intoxicating, filling your heads and blocking out any other thoughts. Everything fit perfectly, your hands locking around each together, his wrapping around you, while yours in his shadowy curls, lips enclasping, your connection. Sliding, clenching, holding both of you physically and spiritually. While your bodies entwined, pleasuring and loving each other. Your souls left and bounded as one, nurturing the other. Filling in what their other half lacks and they possess. Forming a perfect whole bond. The music consuming you, both swaying to the rhythm. The both of you let out sighs of pleasure, as you finally connect in the way you needed most. It was relaxed at first, but quickly sped up as you felt just how needy you really were. You held onto him, pressing your bodies together in a panting hug. Your skin on his, feeling each other. “Fuck… You feel so good.” He groaned. Chris’s hands reach out to touch any part of you he can. You bury your face in his neck, holding him tightly. Tears bead at the corner of your eyes from the sensation. Your happiness, the pleasure and love for him overflowing. “Fuck...fuck...fuck...fuck...” He murmurs incessantly, feeling his orgasm build again. “Please...let me cum… Fu...fuck please...” The breathless begging adds to your own arousal. “Cum for me, baby.” You whispered into his ear while pulling an arm out from under him. “Fuck... Don't stop. Please...don't fucking stop...” He says in between moans. As if you had any intention to. His nails dig into your back to keep you in place, while leaving scratches in their wake. His continuous begging echoed through your skull. “Fuck...” You groan while sitting back up. You slow your hips to an almost agonizing pace, just to hear him whine and beg even more.

“No...no...please...” His desperation makes your walls clench and pulsate around him. “Please...don't stop...” “Don't worry, I'm not.” He sped up, “F-faster please,” Chris pleaded, his voice close to breaking. You were happy to oblige, rolling your hips harder on his. He filled you up so perfectly, just like he always did, and you couldn’t help moaning out loud, the music blending your echoing voices. Chris’s breathless whimpers sounded in your ears and you returned the favor in his. Chris reached up to grip your waist. “God you feel so good around me bab-” he cut himself off with a whiny scream as you clenched around him. You couldn’t help it, hearing him say that made you swell up inside. Leaning back for a second, seeing him covered in a thin sheen of sweat and moaning in that fucking voice of his, it was almost too much for you. “Really?” you asked huffing, “Yes baby, you fit so perfectly around me and in my arms.” You slowed down your motions, and so did he. You stare into each other’s eyes, then you kissed him. Resuming both of your movements. You whispered in his ear “I love you Christopher”, You felt his cheek pressed against your shoulder, warming up as he mixed light giggles in his pants. “I love you more Y/N”, then he kissed you with so much love it could literally be felt in the air. You sped up, moving as fast as you could muster, while clenching as hard as you could. Chris cried out, squeezing his eyes shut, “fuck fuck fuck, please don’t stop, oh g-god.” “You gonna cum soon, baby boy?” you asked him, changing your technique. His voice got caught in his throat, he couldn’t speak, just nodded his head. You could feel him start to twitch inside of you, signaling that he was close. Frantically, Chris thrusted upwards to get more friction, hitting your g spot straight on. You moaned out loudly, letting your head fall on his shoulder as you trembled in pleasure. You rocked back and forth, holding onto Chris’s shoulders as he thrusted upwards over and over again, hitting you in all the right spots. You screamed out in pleasure, shaking, and Chris’s desperate sobs echoed in your ears. His hands came up to grab your hips and shoulder pushing and pulling you down in a harsh manner made you see stars. His hold would leave marks, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. “F-FUCK!” Chris screamed, “I‘m gonna c-cum!” he cried out. “I’m gonna cum, so ffucking ha-” His words cut as you felt him thrust into you, bucking his hips uncontrollably. That was all it took for you to clench violently and come apart squeezing him tightly against you, the force of your orgasm leaving you seeing white. Chris was right with you, shaking uncontrollably as he filled you up with his cum, voice cracking, letting out some of the most arousing high sounds you’ve heard. The two of your were left fucked out, intertwined in each other, not willing to let go. Both covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Chris slowly laid both of you back down, your legs shifting. He quickly moved you to his side, to make sure your connection didn’t break yet. “Can we stay like this?” he asked shyly, breathing into your hair. Taking in your unique sweet smell of fruits, flowers, cakes, and sweets. You turned your neck to him, smiling, pressing your lips against his nose softly. “Yes, we can. I don’t want to leave you anyways.” He smiled, his dimples showing, “I love you.” He nuzzled into your face. You mirrored and kissed his nose again, “I love you too.” You said bringing your hand up to cup and caress his cheek. Kissing his lips and parting, you tangled your fingers through his hair and as he rested his tired head, wrapping his arm around you. You let him stay there, pressing your lips to his forehead as “Get You” by Daniel Caesar played. You pulled out without waking your now sleeping boyfriend

“Good Night Baby”

[tiptapricot]

Well life is weird, but here’s some art from a few months ago I did of one of my OCs! He’s known on the stage as Moses Maldonado, and is a country singer (and serial killer) from my weird cowboys verse! I had a lot of fun with his drawing and if you’re interested in more info about him, his bio along with the other characters in this universe can be found here. (info doc currently does not have IDs for other characters)

(Descs in alt, full ID and detail shots under the cut)

[ID: first picture: A full body digital drawing of Moses, standing with a guitar held in his left hand, while he looks towards and extends his other hand down to the left side of the picture, palm facing upward. He has tanned skin, freckles, reddish brown short curly hair, dark blue eyes, a strong nose, and sideburns. He has a pale scar on the left side of his lip, dimples, and is smiling at the corner of his mouth. He wears a long golden star earring. His performance outfit consists of a jacket, a button up, a bolo tie, gloves, a belt, long pants, and cowboy boots. His jacket is a mid-tone red, cropped on the bottom to be shorter, with a strong collar, and lapels. On the upper part of the jacket’s chest are six yellow stars, three on each side, with light rays of red, yellow, and blue coming off of them, dotted with white rhinestones. Below these are two white lines, curved slightly diagonally away from the middle. These are hung with strings of multicolored red and pink beads. At the bottom of the jacket are two green cactuses tilted up away from the center, bordered by white rhinestones. On each shoulder is a bright red rose patch, with a light blue music note patch below it, both bordered by white rhinestones. Around the cuffs of the jacket are a gradient of white rhinestones that taper off in longer flares up the forearms. Tassels made of strings of red and pink beads hang from the forearms. Moses’s shirt is a lighter red than his jacket, the upper part around the collar being black, with small red and green rose designs, and white borders. His bolo tie is a coyote skull, and the white buttons that go down the shirt are backed by black cloth bordered by white. His belt is brown, with a large gold belt buckle carved with musical notes on a curving wave of sheet music. His pants are the same red as his jacket, with a large patch of roses on each hip, and individual roses and yellow stars going down his legs, all bordered and with white rhinestones. His boots are light red with brown soles, dotted with pastel yellow, purple, and blue rhinestones, a white line going down each side from white tabs at the top of the boot where one would pull them on. His gloves are a dark brown, with light red palms. His guitar is a warm brown, the neck darker than the body, with a black pick guard decorated with a design of lavender flowers.

Second picture: A close up of a sketch of the design on the back of Moses’s jacket. The back of the collar reads, “MOSES,” in all caps black lettering, with gold dots lining the center of each letter. In the center of the back of the jacket is a patch of a large black scorpion outlined in gold, claws reaching for a white star in the upper left corner of the jacket, and outlined in white rhinestones. Coming off the white star are stitched on light rays in yellow, blue, and green. In the upper right corner of the back of the jacket is a patch of a white cloud, outlined in light blue, and bordered in white rhinestones. Below this patch is an aquamarine star patch, and a patch of a yellow wheel, bordered in white rhinestones. There are three star patches below this wheel, two yellow, one aquamarine. In the lower left of the back of the jacket is a patch of a pink cowboy hat, bordered in white rhinestones. Above this are two stars, one yellow, one aquamarine.

[ellanainthetardis]

Hey! If you're still taking prompts,,, can u do one where Effie gets/already has/needs glasses but she doesn't want to wear them or smth so she's squinting around but then haymitch is like wtf wear them and then he thinks she looks hot in them and sexy time ensues?

AND

Hayffie prompt? Effie wears glasses but is really insecure about them bcof her mom or something and Haymitch sees her w/out makeup wearing them…? Andreassures her she’s always been beautiful or something like that maybe pre mjidk it’s up to you THANK YOU

AND

Most prompts in my inbox about glasses :) [X]

The Pink Glasses

Haymitch startledawake with a strangled cry, heart pounding inside his chest, eyes searching theroom for the nightmarish monsters that lurked in his dreams. It had been thepink flamingos mutts that night. And Maysilee, of course. Always Maysilee.

It took him a fewminutes to make out the familiar outlines of the furniture. It was a moonlessnight and not much light was spilling from the windows. With a sigh, he slumpedback against his pillow and rubbed his face. He waited for the unease to passbut it didn’t, not even after a few gulps of moonshine. Not that surprisingreally.  

At long last hegave up and got out of bed. It was only a little past one in the morning and hesensed it would be one of those nights were only a good dose of liquor wouldconvince him to go back to sleep.

He tried to avoidgetting wasted lately though, ever since Effie had showed up at his door. Shehad nightmares and he had taken to comforting her from them - or he tried to, at least.

He would get abook. Or watch something completely stupid on TV. Maybe that would do thetrick. He had half a mind to take a leaf out of Effie’s book and spend thenight cleaning the house just to have something physical to do.

He tried to avoidthe creaking floorboards but paused at the top of the stairs when he chanced aglance at the guest room. He could see the soft glow of the bedside lampslipping through the half-opened door.

She always keptthe lights on at night, she couldn’t sleep without them – unless she crawled in his bed, she had no trouble sleeping in thesemi-darkness then. He always woke upwhen she did that. He didn’t always let her know but he always woke up. Andthen, when he fell back asleep, he always slept better. Because there wasnothing more peaceful to him than having her within reach. Sometimes, theyended up cuddling and that was even better, the source of warmth at his side,the smell of her perfume… It was usually enough to make him feel safe.

He rubbed hiseyes again, really not in the mood to spend half the night trying to run awayfrom the ghosts lurking in the shadows. He wanted to sleep, in truth. He wasexhausted.

And he couldn’tafford liquor but maybe…

His feet took herto her room before he could talk himself out of it.

He pushed herdoor completely open with some hesitation, relaxing a little when he found herin bed, a book propped on her bend knees and ridiculously pink glasses perchedon her nose. He wouldn’t have climbed in her bed uninvited – his was alwaysopen to her but the reverse… he wouldn’t take that for granted.

She snatched theglasses off her nose and frowned a little at him. “Is something wrong?”

He made a face,shuffled his weight from one bare foot to the next and then stepped in, vaguelygesturing to the bed. “You mind if…”

He let hissentence trail off on purpose.

She studied him.He kept his gaze resolutely away from hers but he knew she could see everythingon his face anyway. The tightness at the corner of his mouth, the reddish eyes,the shaking hands… She had known him too long not to know the signs.

“Of course not.”she smiled, lifting the blankets in invitation and moving closer to her side ofthe bed. He climbed in without needing to be told twice, curled up on his sideto watch her, leaving enough space between them that she wouldn’t feel crowded.“Do you want to talk about it?” He snorted because it was a stupid question andshe rolled her eyes.   “Well, it was only polite to ask.”

“Won’t staylong.” he promised, wary of forcing his presence on her.

He wasn’t certainwhere they were at.

She lived in hishouse – as temporarily as she claimed that arrangement was – she sought him forcomfort but their friendship was on rocky ground since the war. And the part oftheir acquaintance that wasn’t friendship… Well… That part seemed to have beenlost somewhere. Not for him. That was the irony. He had reached Thirteen andsuddenly everything had been very, very clear.What he felt for her, how much he needed her… So obviously fate being the bitchit was, he had lost her to the Capitol. And he had gotten her back…

He had thoughtthey might be alright at first. The first few weeks after her rescue… She hadclung to him, had dismissed his apologies and explanations because she couldn’tdeal with them, had refused to stop and think about what had happened becauseshe needed him to go on. They had fallen back in bed, albeit hesitantly on herpart, a few times but he had known something was wrong even then. The changehad been gradual but he had seen it coming. When he had announced he needed toleave with Katniss…

He had nevermeant for that to mean they couldn’t be together but she had exploded in a rageof accusations. She had claimed he had only used her for sex – from the start –that he always left her behind, that he didn’t care… He had refuted everythingand had asked her to come with them but she had been hysterical in her mistrustand there had been no convincing her. He hadn’t had much time to do so either.With only an hour to spare, he had been forced to leave her to collect Katniss,very much hammering the nail in the coffin of their relationship.

He had honestlybeen surprised when she had showed up in Twelve, even more stunned when she hadquietly – and discreetly – asked him if he could host her for a little whileuntil she found a new place, a job and some stability. He had opened his house,of course, and his arms with it.

At no point hadthey discussed what had happened on the day of his departure for Twelve. Theyacted as if they never had a relationship that was more than friendship. Itwasn’t mentioned, it wasn’t hinted at and there was no clue that she wanted himto bring it up so he tried to respect her wishes.

“It is alright.”she hummed, looking back at her book. “You can stay the night if you want. Iinvade your bedroom often enough. Turnabout is fair play.”

Turnabout is fair play…

How many timeshad that sentence been used in a different context?

He chasedmemories of her delicate hands gripping his wrists out of his mind. Sneaking inher bed because he had a nightmare was bad enough, getting a boner once therebecause of a stupid phrase would be pathetic.

He didn’tacknowledge that offer even if he relaxed a little against the pillow. Hecouldn’t see what she was reading. She wasn’t usually a great reader, the onlynovels he had seen her read were romance stuff he certainly didn’t have on hisshelves. She hadn’t gone out in weeks and he was pretty sure she didn’t havebooks in her suitcase – she hadn’t brought much in her suitcase but secondhandclothes that were too thin for Twelve and all the mementos she had managed tosave from her apartment both after it was ransacked and after it was seized bythe government.

He couldn’t seethe cover and the few words he caught on the page didn’t tell him much. It wasvaguely familiar but it didn’t ring any bell. It was a paperback though somaybe she had found something she had liked on his bookshelf. He had a goodcollection of cheap Capitol novels he had picked up over the years. Crimenovels and thrillers, mainly. Not quite her thing, though.

His gaze traveledfrom the page to her face and he smirked when he saw her squinting a little.

“Those glasses mightwork better on your nose.” he teased, tapping the fist in which the glasseswere trapped.

She made a face.“They are just for comfort. I don’t need them.”

“Light isn’t goodfor reading.” he pointed out.

She pursed herlips and turned the page a little too abruptly. “I am perfectly fine.”

She clearlywasn’t but he wasn’t sure he wanted to press that particular button.

Fashion was fornatural looks thanks to the Districts’ influence, she claimed. And he knewperfectly well just how ill-at-ease she was about that. She never wore wigsanymore, kept her make-up light… She didn’t have the kind of money needed toafford a couture wardrobe… She wasself-conscious about the scars on her body… He had never known her to beinsecure before the war, not when she had still be in full battle armor, exceptwhen he had asked her to take the make-up and the wig off… It had taken him along time to convince her to let him see her bare and natural, even longer toconvince her he actually liked her betterlike that. She had eventuallygrown comfortable with being without artifices around him, simply happy that heliked what he saw, but she had never learned to see herself like he saw her.

So now, walkingaround with blond hair she judged too plain and not enough make-up to hide theflaws she always found on her face… She never hinted at not being at ease withthat but he saw it.

“I’ve seen thembefore.” he shrugged, taking pain to keep his voice casual. “It’s no big deal.”

But for her it would be.

He wasn’t evensure how she could have hidden the glasses as long as she had. He had onlyfound out during the Tour because he had walked in her room late one nightwithout knocking first to find her crossed-legged on the bed, hair pinned up ina messy bun, glasses on top of her nose and looking completely dead on herfeet. They had both been dead on their feet back then. They had spent halftheir nights on that Tour perfecting speeches and going over schedules to thepoint they hadn’t seen straight – and to the point she hadn’t really caredabout her looks because they had been too focused on making sure the kids cut it.

“Nothing is evera big deal for you.” she grumbled.

Again, he thoughtit would be wiser to let the matter drop entirely. But he had never been verygood at letting things drop.

“What’s thatsupposed to mean?” he retorted, probably too defensively.

She shot him aglare, opening her mouth only to close it again, take a deep breath and focuson her book again. “Nothing.”

“Oh, come on…” hescoffed. “Don’t do the passive aggressive bullshit.You’ve got something to say, fucking sayit. Never stopped yourself before.”

She pursed herlips in clear annoyance but when she talked, her tone was clipped and calm. “Itwas before.”

His irritationfaded. He slowly reached out across the space between them again, lightlystroking her forearm with a finger. She didn’t shrug him off and he countedthat as a win but she didn’t give any clue that it was welcome either so hefolded his finger, letting his hand rest there on the bed, not too far from herwrist. “Maybe we should talk aboutbefore, Effie.”

“About which partspecifically?” she chuckled bitterly. “The Games? Prison? Those are not periodsof my life I care to revisit.”

“Us.” he said.

How such a smallword could sound so ominous, he didn’t know. He was reminded of the terrifyingnoise of the bombs raining down on them in Thirteen. How a sound could be soterrible…

“Was there everan us to talk about?” she scowled and then shook her head. “I do not know whatyou want me to say, Haymitch. We never had anything. We had sex. We had…”

“It was more thanthat.” he spat, propping himself on his elbow just so they were at the sameheight. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her towering over him.“You know it was more than that. Notat first, yeah… But, come on,sweetheart… Maybe I was a stubborn blind idiot but you never were.”

She sighed andlet her book fall close on her finger, staring at the round light the lampprojected on the ceiling. “I cannot afford for us to fight and for you to kickme out…”

“I would never…”he protested.

“…or for me tofeel that I should leave because I am not saying what you want to hear.” shefinished without even pausing to acknowledge he had opened his mouth. “I havenowhere else to go.”

“You’re homehere.” he frowned. “Look, I’m a grown man, I can take a no and not be an ass about it.”

She studied himfor a few seconds, looking thoughtful. “A noto what question? Are you asking for sex?”

“No.” he snapped.“I’m asking for… I’m asking if…” He stopped, cringed at his own inability toword that stuff and eventually flopped down on his back and pressed the heelsof his hands against his eyes, wondering why he had even gotten out of bed atall. He should simply have remained there with his moonshine and… “Guess I’masking if there’s any hope you’re ever going to forgive me.”

“For what?” sheasked.

He chuckledbitterly. “Ain’t gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

“Not in theleast.” she confirmed.

There was a hintof teasing in her voice and he dropped his hands to look at her again. And shewas so beautiful… Reddish blond hair falling on to a little below her chin inwild curls, sparkling blue eyes, lips that begged to be kissed…

“Letting youdown.” he said at last. “I’m sorry for letting you down. I never meant for youto get hurt. Never.”

“I know.” shehummed, averting her eyes. “I had a few… chatswith Plutarch. What happened to me… You were not responsible for it. Iunderstand that and I do not blame you.”

“I should havegrabbed you and kept you with me.” he growled, old regrets railing their uglyheads. “Shouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do my job.”

“Protecting mewasn’t your job, Haymitch. Your job was to protect the children. My job was to protect all of you.” shecorrected.

“A man protectshis family.” he countered. That was how he had been raised. That was what hehad sworn to himself after his father had walked out on them. “A man protectshis…” Words failed him. He wasn’t sure which one was the right one. Lover would have been too dismissive. Girlfriend was ridiculous. Wife was too much and as inaccurate asit got. Partner was too vague. In theend he swallowed hard and shook his head. “You’re my family and I shouldn’thave trusted anyone else to protect you.”

“You thought itwas safer that way.” she pointed out. “And from what Plutarch told me, you didnot have much choice anyway. He was the one calling the shots.”

He suspectedPlutarch had tried to direct her anger on himself to spare him but he didn’twant to live in a lie. “I had weight. I could have insisted. I let themconvince me that the hovercraft could be shot out of the sky at any point andthat you would be safer with the prep team.”

“Was it true?”she asked, sounding curious.

“If it had workedout, then yeah.” he admitted. “But it didn’t and…”

“I do not blameyou for that.” she cut him off.

“But you blame mefor something else.” he sighed, rubbing his face. “For leaving with Katniss…”

“Not really.” sheadmitted quietly. “I was angry about you leaving me, yes, but I knew you hadto. I just… I did not want to be left alone.”

“You could havecome.” he said. “I told you… I wantedyou to come.”

“I did.” shepointed out.

“Yeah, after awhole year of silence and because you had no more money and no roof over yourhead.” he scoffed and immediately regretted it when she flinched. He grabbedher wrist before she could even think about doing something as stupid asfleeing. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m…” He sighed. “I ain’t good at this, sweetheart, you know I ain’t.”

“I wanted you toput me first.” she whispered, her eyes riveted to the hand encasing her wrist.“It is stupid, of course, because even then I knew the children had to come first, I would not havewanted it any other way either, but… For once, I wanted to be the mostimportant thing for you. It was utterly selfish, naturally, but as you so oftenpointed out, I am very selfish. Ijust wanted someone to put me first.”

He closed hiseyes, squeezing her wrist by reflex. “Katniss…”

“I know,Haymitch.” she sighed. “I know. They are your children and I come after themand it is as it should be but… It is hard to never be enough.”

“They’re yourkids too.” he argued. “And you’re enough. You’ve always been more than fucking enough. You’re… You’re so farout my league, it’s a joke.”

She rolled hereyes. “And yet you prefer a ghost to me.”

His heart misseda beat at the barely veiled reference to Mabel. He hadn’t spared a thought forhis dead girl in a very long time. Not like she was implying at least.

“Effie…” hefrowned.

But she gentlyfreed herself from his grip and he fell silent, watching as she placed theglasses back on her nose. She didn’t open the book again though.

“It hurts not tobe loved as much as you love someone.” she whispered. “I should be used to it,I know, but… I do not think I ever loved anyone as much as I have loved you. Ido not think you ever realized how much I…” She laughed and it was all wrong.Sad and bitter. “I would have left the Capitol if you had asked. If it had beenpossible for me to give up my citizenship and go with you to Twelve, I wouldhave. I knew you would never consent to live in the city with me so I wouldhave left it behind for you. I would have become a nobody for you. I wouldhave… I would have killed for you. Iwould have done anything to pleaseyou. I have loved you that badly.Blindly. Completely. I would have died for you and I almost did in those cells.Out of loyalty. Out of… I refused to hate you. They were harsher on me becauseI refused to hate you.” She sighed. “Ihate myself for giving you that much power over me. I was a fool. I am a fool. My mother was right all alongand that vexes me perhaps even more than you not loving me enough.”

It was a lot totake in and Haymitch clenched his jaw, torn between getting angry and defensiveand just being sad over the whole mess.

“You don’t knowwhat it is to lose people you love.” he stated quietly.

“I lost my familyand all my friends to this war.” she spat. “I lost my parents, my sister, mynephews… I lost Finnick. I lost…”

She fell silent,took a deep breath and breathed out slowly.

He took advantageof that, staring at the wall straight ahead, regretting having even startedthat conversation in the first place. “You weren’t sixteen and they’re not deadbecause of you. Ain’t saying it’s not hard, sweetheart, just… It’s different. Loving someone… For me it wasa death sentence. You know that. They would have used you against me and then…Then what?” He shook his head.“You’re angry ‘cause I made you a fool? Sweetheart, how many times did I makemyself a fool for you?”

“I do not see…”she started.

He scoffed,cutting her off. “I’ve been the butt of the joke ever since we slept togetherthe first time, Effie. Chaff and Finnick… Everyone else… They kept teasing andI kept denying and I was always the butt of the joke ‘cause they knew how Ifelt and it was funny to them ‘cause it was just ridiculous. Victor and escort…Not exactly the stuff of fairy tales.”

“We were not thefirst.” she pointed out.

“Sure, weweren’t. We weren’t the only ones.” he shrugged. “Ain’t the point, is it? Pointis… It was easier to make it a joke ‘cause it was too dangerous. I couldn’t fuckingbear a guy simply flirting with you, I almost killed a hundred of them just forputting their paws on you at those parties…” He shook his head. “I spent entirewinters obsessing over you, what you were doing, with who… You’re worse thanbooze sometimes… I crave you like…You’re like a buzz under my skin. And, yeah, I didn’t want it at the time‘cause feeling that much…” He lickedhis lips. “Losing you… See, I told myself again and again I hated you even whenI knew better deep down and it wasn’teven enough to stop me from… I lost everyone once and it fucking destroyed me. If I had let them know… If I had let myself know… I couldn’t risk that. Icouldn’t risk losing you. So I’m fuckingsorry I don’t know how to make pretty speeches, can’t even tell you how much I…Got no excuse, really, but I can promise one thing. It wasn’t about unrequitedfeelings. Never was about unrequited feelings.”

There was a verylong silence.

Then fingers brushedhis closed fist, stroke his skin until it unclenched and her palm could slidagainst his.

“We are toxic foreach other.” she said slowly. “There is too much passion between us. All we dois hurt each other.”

“That’s a lie.”he scowled. “At first maybe but now… I need you. You need me.” At least, hehoped so. “We help each other. We’re a team. We’re still a team, yeah?”

“Always.” shepromised with a  soft smile.

She played withhis fingers and he let her, bracing himself for the next part.

“You used pasttense.” he commented after a couple of minutes. She had said she had loved him and that…

“I have spent along time trying to convince myself my feelings for you are past tense.” sheadmitted. “But…” She sighed and placed the book on the bedside table to slidfurther down the bed, taking off her pink glasses to toy with them. She twirledthem by one of the branches. “You never treated me like Capitol men did. Thatwas what made it impossible for me to let you go. You saw me, the real me, andyou wanted me anyway. Plain and common Effie”

He snorted androlled on his side to steal the glasses from her hand. “I’ve never seen youlooking plain.”

A spark ofamusement danced in her eyes. “I love that you think I am not plain without my make-up and my wigs. And I love thatyou think I am not ugly with those glasses.”

“I’m liking thepresent tense.” he smirked, gently pushing the glasses back on her nose.“Though, I don’t think, I’m just stating a fact. You’re gorgeous. Anyonewho looks at you can see that.”

She leaned in andhis smirk softened. He strained his neck to meet her lips halfway, thirsty forthem like he had never been thirsty for anything else. It was a tame kiss, abit hesitant maybe. And the glasses were squashed between them, which made themboth chuckle like idiots.

“Alright, maybethey’re better off when we do that…” he commented, drawing back just enough toslip them off and toss them on the bedside table. Just in time for her tobundle his shirt in her fist and tug him in a kiss that was a lot less tame.

Well…

If he had knowntalking about glasses would solve so many unvoiced problems he would have triedit a long time ago.