#and then we swoop back in and steal the victory to make more money

[kushielsmercy]

Happy Thursday folks, we've almost made it. Have a small stand-alone snippit from a fic I started this summer and finally admitted I'm never coming back to. Sorry Joe, you're staying kidnapped.

***

“Enough, enough!” Nile laughingly pounds on Nicky’s back, dizzy. “Put me down!” 

Nicky tightens his grip and spins them around twice more, faster, before giving in to her pleas and depositing her back onto the ground. Nile groans and falls onto her back, the Oregon sky spinning above her. 

“Gotta work on your sea legs, kid,” Andy calls from across the fire, cackling. 

Nicky turns on her, eyes twinkling. “Bella.’ 

“Don’t you dare,” Andy warns, holding her bottle of whiskey up in defense. She’s too late. Nicky swoops in, stooping to grab her thighs and lift her straight up, twirling in a circle. Andy does her best to look dignified, resting the whiskey on top of Nicky's head, waiting him out. He tilts his head back and she breaks, laughing as she pours liquor into his open mouth. 

Joe appears above Nile, blocking out the night’s sky. He grins down at her, glitter raining down from his hair. “You can’t be done already, this is your holiday.” She refuses to sit up just yet, but makes a grabby motion upwards to appease him. He obligingly passes a half-burnt sparkler over and then taps his against hers in a mock toast. 

“I still feel kind of weird celebrating,” she admits as Joe sits down beside her, watching Andy try to kick Nicky’s feet out from under him to steal back her cigarette. 

He hums, tilting his head in acknowledgement. “You’ll have many years to contemplate. But who knows when you’ll see that again,” he nods to where Nicky and Andy have come to a compromise, Andy riding piggyback while she holds the cigarette to his lips.

Nile snorts, sitting up and motioning for the last sparkler. Nicky had shot off the last real firework hours earlier with childlike glee.

“I guess it is July 16th anyway,” she says, “we could be celebrating anything. Fuck it. I’m celebrating electricity.” 

They’ve spent the last three months infiltrating a cult with known ties to a particularly nasty trafficking ring. Nicky and Andy were on the inside, trying to figure out where the money was coming from, while Joe and Nile had camped out in a shack a few miles away, listening to the others spit some particularly inventive slurs over the comms while they worked out the supply lines. 

Point being, Nile’s not feeling real patriotic. But they passed a run-down stand a few miles back advertising 75% O f all Fire orks!, the f and w lost to time, and Nicky had insisted they stop - the man’s never met an explosive he didn’t like. It’s close enough to the solstice that Andy had her annual itch to get blacked out next to a dangerously high fire, so, here they are. Celebrating something that isn’t quite the Fourth of July, but isn’t exactly not the Fourth of July either, existing in a liminal space between Nile’s waning national allegiances and a desperate homesickness ten years hasn’t been enough to shake. 

Joe, ever good at reading a room, lets the moment pass unremarked. He’s the best at that. Nicky gets caught off-guard by his own introspection, going suddenly quiet for days at a time. Andy doesn’t have much patience for the whole thing, she figures if she doesn’t know herself at this point then it’s all a lost cause anyway. Joe, on the other hand, thinks clearly, deeply, and at his own pace. Meaning he’ll probably have a lot to say on the complexities of celebrating problematic holidays a month from now, but that’s not going to stop him from making heart eyes at Nicky tonight. 

Nicky makes a grab for the last of the whiskey and Andy dodges, yanking all of her weight to the left so that they collapse to the ground together, rolling out of the fall. She springs up and gets a foot on Nicky’s chest, hamming it up as she downs the last of the bottle in victory. 

“My love, avenge me!” Nicky mimes dying, doing an appallingly poor job despite all his experience.

“Ah, but then who would carry on your memory?” Joe laments. 

Nile knocks her shoulder against his. “Looks like we’ve found the limits of your love at last,” she tells Nicky. “It was that gas station coffee.” 

Joe nods solemnly. “I can still feel its poison in my veins.” He lifts a hand shakily. “Even now, I’m too frail to walk.” 

Nicky bats Andy’s leg away, moving to stand up with the single-minded focus of the very drunk. “Good. Then it will be less work for me to get you on your back.” He struggles to get himself upright, which doesn’t bode well for his luck standing up anything else. 

Nile gags out of principle. By this point she’s all but immune to finding the two of them on any surface, at any time of the day, but she tries to remember she’s supposed to be offended at least once a week. 

Nicky collapses onto the ground beside them, rolling over to put his head on Joe’s lap. “I’ve missed you,” he says. 

Joe runs his fingers through Nicky’s hair. “And I, you.” 

These days, Nile knows that if she wakes first up and tastes rain, she should make sure Nicky has lemongrass tea. She knows Joe has never kept a pair of matching socks for more than a week but hates when one gets a hole in its heel, and that Andy loves cosmopolitans more than she will ever admit. She knows these people inside and out, but then occasionally they’ll do the most mundane shit and it’ll sneak up and hit her all again how long nine-hundred years really is. 

“Don’t you ever worry you’ll get tired of each other?” Nile asks absently, mostly joking. 

Nicky squints up at her, blinking through the alcohol. He pokes Joe in the chest. “She’s not making any sense.” 

Joe flicks his ear in admonishment. “Stop teasing her.” 

“No no, I’m serious,” Nile says, realizing as she says it that she is. Also possibly more drunk than she thought. “Like, what happens if you break up one day. How would that even work? I know you guys have the most epic romance in all of history, or whatever, but what happens if that ends? Am I going to have to swap weekends?”

“What’s romance have to do with it?” Nicky asks, propping himself up onto one elbow. 

Joe groans. “See what you’ve done?” 

Nicky hushes him. “I do not - choose - Joe. Choice is irrelevant.” 

Nile looks to Joe, who shrugs. “The last time I tried to remember my wife, some years ago, she ended up having Nicky eyes, his face,” he reaches down playfully, “his cock.” 

Nicky grinds up into his touch, relaxed and unashamed. 

“I am right here.” Nile pretends to shield her eyes.

Nicky makes a dismissive noise. “I would burn the world to the ground for Joe, and it would be an act of self-defense.” 

Joe makes a wounded noise then ducks down, pulling Nicky’s up to meet him halfway. Nile’s seen this show before, too much of this show before, and knows that’s her cue to leave. Or, in this case, wander the twenty feet away to where Andy’s set herself up with ‘smores. 

“They’ll fall asleep soon.” Andy passes her a sharpened stick with a marshmallow already speared. 

Nile shrugs. “It’s sweet, in a very X-rated kind of way.” She watches the marshmallow slowly brown, keeping her eyes carefully on the fire. “I just, I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever get something like that, you know?” 

“I don’t have a damn clue,” Andy says, reassuring as always. “But the world’s probably safer if you don’t.” 

[rezolute]

out. i will never ever ever ever ever forgive supernatural for the horrific crime they committed against all of us when they added more shit after the beautiful ending of season 5. 

[pixiebuggiewrites]

Sorry Wrong Number!

Masterpost - Previous - Next - Ao3 link

Chapter 2:  Hawkmoth has really bad designs and perhaps even worse timing

Since it was her off night from patrol, Ladybug was the last one onto the scene. She landed down on a building next to Viperion, who was observing the akuma’s skillset as Kuro Neko played distraction down below them.

The villain of tonight's look was... interesting to put it nicely. They were a boy around the same age as the heroes that seemed to be wearing a slightly oversized purple and blue three piece suit with a not-so-subtle lightning pattern running up the arms. His hair was shock white and seemed to be defying gravity while his eyes were protected by bright blue goggles-possibly where the akuma was residing. More importantly, he seemed to be covered in electricity, which was gonna make it difficult to get any hits in. He also had a laptop with him- another contender for the akuma’s hiding place but most likely just a weapon.

Not Hawkmoth’s worst design, but it definitely wasn't his finest work either. Though to be fair she had run around in spotted spandex for two years before she found out she could change her costume, so those in glass houses she supposed.

Viperion, noticing the team leader's arrival began to fill her in on what they knew so far.

“They're calling themselves ‘Elect-Trick’, keeps sending out shockwaves to try and knock us back which is frustrating but our suits seem to take the brunt of it which helps but Neko’s staff is a no go at the moment since there's no way to know if it’ll conduct the electricity.”

It likely would, something they had found out the hard way during the last weather akuma they had to face. While magical it was still metallic in nature sadly, which meant she needed to also be careful with her yoyo. She still isn't really sure what it’s made of besides magic, but this was not the way she wanted to find out.

“Alright, in that case we’ll continue to keep him away from the Eiffel Tower, it’s likely the akuma’s going to try and use it as a large conductor. I’m gonna head down, stay up here and be ready to use your second chance at the signal.” She instructed

Viperion nodded and went back to watching the fight just as Ladybug swooped down to join in. She was just in time as the akuma had begun to corner Neko, who had no choice but to rely on playing defense while her staff was out of the mix. The two heroes nodded their heads in greeting as Ladybug yoyo-d her cat themed friend over putting the duo back on even ground with the villain, who seemed to be ranting about school elections of all things.

Which would be a probable explanation for the first half of his name.

The two continued to fight back against the akuma, neither side quite able to grab the upper hand. Ladybugs yoyo-as it turned out, did not conduct electricity afterall. And, seeing as it's practically indestructible she was able to land hits on the akuma without getting shocked. But the akuma had realized the issue with Neko’s staff and was using that to their advantage, aiming a decent chunk of their attacks at the cat hero which forced them to go back on the defense.

As the fight had been going for over an hour at this point, the spotted heroine decided to bring out the big guns. After doing a silent signal letting Viperion know to start his timer, she got in position to call on her lucky charm.

But she didn't get a chance to. Just as she went to throw her yoyo in the air, Viperion called out a warning that sent a feeling of dread through her.

“LB watch out, There's an amok headed straight for the computer!”  

Sure enough, there was an all too familiar purple feather floating through the air on track for the laptop that she quickly caught and purified it before it could land. Thank the Kwami for the power of second chance, nobody wanted to deal with a sentimonster on top of everything else tonight.

Keeping Kuro Neko on the lookout for anymore feathers, She finally activated her lucky charm. Throwing her yoyo up she manifests… a slingshot! She could work with that, just needed to find ammo. Looking around her eyes land firmly on the window of a small toyshop.

Bingo!

Having Viperion keeping an eye out in case he was needed temporarily as backup, she sneaks over and breaks the window with her yoyo. Typically, the heroine would feel bad about causing this much property damage but tonight she’s tired and wants to get this over with so she can make a plan of action for the whole ‘Mayura seems to be back’ thing with her team and maybe get at least a couple hours of sleep. Anyways her miraculous cure would fix the window and return the bouncy balls she was actively stealing so no harm done? After finishing committing what was technically a misdemeanor, she made her way over to the roof Viperion was on and handed off the slingshot supplies before making her way back down.

Luckily Neko had managed to keep Elect-Trick distracted enough for the team to catch him off guard. On Ladybugs call Viperion began to pelt the Akuma with rubber balls, drawing his sight away for long enough to tie him up and take his glasses. One cataclysm later, the teen had been successfully deakumatized and she was able to cast her cure, fixing the decent chunk of property damage caused that night. After making sure the teen was okay to get home safe and getting his address for the interview she would have to conduct later, she turned to her team.

“Good work today guys, let's meet back at base in 30.” Her eyes communicated the urgency of the meeting despite the neutral tone of voice she tried to maintain.

From there the teens all departed in separate directions to recharge their powers and head to the team's secret base.

----------

Okay so secret base was a bit of an overstatement. It is a secret place that the team uses as a base of operations but it was less of a Batcave and more of a repurposed hotel room in Le Grand Paris.

Chloe had brought up the idea after one too many close calls with Marinette's parents while the girls were investigating Hawkmoth. They needed a place to discuss hero work safely without having to talk in code but the question was where. Obtaining an apartment would be difficult as all of them but Luka were still underage, not to mention the issue of trying to pay rent without any parental suspicion. Luckily for Chloe, it's surprisingly easy to just claim a hotel room without being questioned when your Father owns the hotel.

And while it was no Batcave, it wasn't anything to scoff at either. The four teens had been able to pool together enough money in the beginning for the basics, which meant that now any small snuck away chunks of commission money, music gig payments, competition winnings, and allowances were all able to go to improving things bit by bit.

The room was already quite nice, having a separate bedroom that they used as a gym and a kitchenette that was kept well stocked with kwami snacks. Then there was the  main area, which had been split down the middle. The first side was dedicated to the investigation and housing Marinette's Guardian materials, While the second half was a hangout zone where they could chat or decompress after any particularly rough fights.

The base was also secure, Marinette had put so many spells and protections on the room with the help of the kwami that it might as well be a pocket dimension of sorts. The magical security system of sorts was extremely complicated, being tied to the teams auras in a way so that the only way to even find it without being one of them was to be taken there by Ladybug herself. It had taken weeks to pull off but was well worth it to give her team a place that was safe from the outside world.

Ladybug was the first to arrive this time, having flopped down into a chair at their meeting table as her two friends entered the room and joined her. They all sat there for a moment, processing the fact of Mayura’s return. Of course this would happen when they were down a member, it wasn't a complete surprise that the peacock miraculous would come back into play at some point but it was really bad timing.

“So what exactly is the plan?” Viperion asked, finally breaking the silence.

Ladybug sighed, knowing that their workload was going to increase once again. At least it was close to summer vacation.

“First we need to increase patrols- especially around the typical hot spots, Neko do you think we’ll be able to finish those jars by this time next week?”

The cat hero nodded “They're almost done, we’ll need to test them somehow though.”

The two of them had recently been working on a variation of an object enchantment technique mentioned in the grimoire. The original object was dubious in nature, having been used as a cage of sorts that kwami wouldn't be able to phase through. Marinette was disgusted by the thought, further feeding into some suspicions she had about the old order. As she was ranting about it to Kagami about it, her fencer friend got an idea for a way to repurpose the spell to trap akuma when Ladybug couldn't easily get to a fight. It would also allow them a new way to prevent possessions when Ladybug wasn't actively on patrol.

“That's good. Lastly I need Bee’s new number, I was going to ask you for it tomorrow but I need to give her a heads up to start on a new case file. We also might want to move up our plans to contact the heroes there.”

Kuro Neko quickly jotted down the number on a nearby notecard and handed it to Ladybug. After hammering out a few last details about their new patrol schedules the heroes were all free to head home for the night.

The trip home was uneventful, and she arrived home to see that it was just past midnight. She also noticed that her bath bomb had been fixed! It was sometimes a gamble on if something like that would count as akuma damage so it was a nice victory after the day she’s had.

Marinette quickly put in Chloe's number, eager to get to bed. She sent her blonde friend a summary on what happened and let her know to be on the lookout for an email tomorrow with the information to assemble a case file. And with that, Marinette drifted off to sleep.

She had made a small mistake though. In her tired state the young designer’s finger slipped, putting a 5 where there was meant to be a 4.

Meaning Chloe Bourgeois was not the recipient of her intended message.

Good thing she wrote the message in code?

----------

Across the ocean, Damian Wayne received a strange text message.

--------------------------------------------

Taglist (open!!): 

@queencommonsense

[capricornus-rex]

A Test of Wills (4)

Requested by Anon. Prompt:

What about…Cal x reader fic, getting stuck on Jakku because the Mantis needs repairs?

Cal Kestis x Reader

1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | Masterlist

4 of ?

Rani has offered you a place to stay the night still within Cratertown. She lived a few houses away from the cantina. She apologized in advance if it wasn’t a five-star suite, but you still expressed your gratitude towards her help.

“You really didn’t have to, Rani,”

“Oh tut, I’d never hesitate helping a friend!”

Rani prepared a room for you to share. She promised to take you back to Niima Outpost once you’re ready tomorrow. The room wasn’t much but it’s better than the open-ended tents in the outpost, she didn’t strongly recommend going back out to your ship in the middle of the night.

“That’s where the creepy crawlies come out of their hidey holes,”

She dismisses herself and leaves the two of you to your privacy. Cal seems to have settled himself on the bed. He noticed your uneasiness as you surveyed the room. He stood up, held you on both arms, and he looked straight into your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Frankly, not really,”

“You know, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Well, what choice do we have? It’s not like we can steal away the parts. We’ve already had enough bounty hunters hot on our trail—let’s not add the blobfish to the list!”

Cal’s hands slid down to your hands and held them tight, you gave out a defeated sigh—realizing that there aren’t many options laid out to solve this predicament. The tremors in your body, albeit faint, were enough for Cal to sense. He holds you in his arms for a long time, before scooping your legs and tucking you in bed.

Today exhausted you to the bone—the heat and the bustle of the outpost seemed to have siphoned whatever remaining energy you had left. Meanwhile, Cal could not sleep a wink. He lies right beside you, watching your breast rise and fall with every breath, and the stillness of your person when you easily drifted off.

Cal was only able to sleep with one eye open, he made sure he was the first to wake before you and Rani. He saw that you were still sound asleep. The dawn was already arriving, the sun’s rays have already begun to peek through the clouds.

He leaned closer to you, kissed you in your sleep—feeling like it happened in a dream—and he whispered, almost sadly, “I’m sorry,”

He leaves your side in bed and buckles his armor on. The climbing claws still fit like a glove. When BD-1 spotted what he was doing, he put his finger to his lip and BD-1 never chirped back. Quietly rummaging through your satchel, he finds the pouch of credits that Cere had given you, and stuffed it into his own bag; he waited until Rani had her back turned, until he got the opportunity to sneak out of the cottage to the landspeeder.

Cal made quick work of starting the landspeeder and speeding away out of Cratertown and back to Niima Outpost.

You woke to the sound of Rani screaming, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN GONE!?”

Out of instinct, you jumped up from bed and find Cal absent in bed. You saw that your satchel has been ransacked and the credits were gone.

“Hey!” Rani stormed into the room, she spoke with her teeth clenched and with a fierceness that you haven’t seen in years. “Your boyfriend’s left—with my landspeeder!”

There was no time to waste, you swooped into your poncho, grabbed your bag and joined Rani on another speeder. Rani floored the landspeeder and you nearly sank into the leather interior of your seat.

“Do you think they’ve started?!” you screeched through the wind blasting through your face.

“I think they’re about to! Your boyfriend’s kind of a whirlwind, isn’t he?”

Cal arrived and has been in the outpost for a few minutes now, thanks to his headstart of sneaking out; he pays the entry fee to the thug guarding the entrance. He makes his way to the shipyard where large silhouettes remain under large tarps. The arena was nothing but another tent, except that it was better lit than the rest.

The ring was empty but the crowd was wild. Unkar waddled his way into the ring and his appearance pumped up his audience.

“Are you scumbags ready for fight night!?”

The crowd roared in unison. He immediately shut them up to lay out the rules as part of his program.

“Now, you know the rules—well, except if you’re new here,” he paused and let some of the people in the crowd laugh. “Anything goes for fight night. Weapons? Bare hands? I’m all for that. If you win, you name your boon. Whatever the price, whatever you want!”

Unkar introduces today’s fighter, a six-foot-eight Aqualish. The looming creature relished his popularity and adoration from the crowd as he circled the ring. Cal watched his apparent opponent and started thinking of strategies of how he’s going to topple him to the ground.

Anything goes. He thought. He closes his hand to a fist and feels the tightness of the climbing claws over his knuckles.

“Now, for the challenger—fresh meat from probably the other bad end of the galaxy—we got Cal Kestis. Says he’s a scrapper from Bracca. Let’s see if he survives this scrap,” Unkar sniggered.

Cal entered the ring and received nothing but snarls of threat. He took it that the audience doesn’t take kindly on new faces. He faces the Aqualish and then project himself in a stance. The brawl began as soon as Unkar abruptly dropped his raised arm and a bell rang at his command.

Half of the audience had their money on the Aqualish—who, in a simpleton’s logic, would win due to its towering height and brute strength—whilst the other half somehow put their faith, albeit little of it, on young Cal Kestis, the unassuming scrapper from Bracca.

Just like the gladiatorial match in the Haxion Brood’s nest, Cal impressed the ringmaster and the audience. To his advantage against the Aqualish, Cal was nimble and light on his feet, making it easier for him to evade punches and land some himself—and they were bloody ones thanks to the climbing claws that poke into the opponent’s thick hide.

His luck soon ran out when the claws suddenly won’t budge out of the Aqualish’s hide. The four-eyed creature lowed as if he was laughing and struck Cal down with one heavy fist. The tables appear to have turned. The crowd goes ever so wild—apparently, the Aqualish was their champion, and the few supporters that Cal had have become turncoats, afraid to lose their betting money because of the losing side.

Now the opponent has taken the upper hand. He has suffered enough from Cal’s clawed punches, to the creature’s point of view, it was only a matter of time. The crowd that hugged the rim of the fighting ring wildly tapped, shook the ropes, and waved their fists in the air.

“Looks like the scrapper’s ‘boutta get scrapped!” Unkar laughed at his own joke.

You didn’t wait for Rani to put the landspeeder to a complete stop. You simply leaped out of the vehicle and ran towards Unkar’s open shipyard. The thug saw you coming and stopped you dead on your tracks, calmly telling you that you needed to pay the entry fee first. Unfortunately, your entry fee is with Cal.

“[y/n], wait up!” Rani cried out, running to catch up with you.

You looked into the thug’s eyes and kept your gaze steady but blank. You waved your hand across the guard’s face.

“My friend and I don’t need an entry fee,” you spoke in a commanding tone.

The thug’s demeanor didn’t change but you felt him loosen up in your presence.

“You and your friend don’t need an entry fee.”

You smiled to yourself, you couldn’t believe it actually worked; Rani saw you do it and she was surprised herself. But there was no time for more questions, you immediately dragged Rani into the shipyard with you and ran towards the tent where they’re having the fight night.

Upon storming into the fight tent, your eyes find the ring and you suddenly froze; aghast at the sight of a bloodied Cal being battered to death by the raggedy Aqualish.

“Oh sweet lords, he’s getting his ass handed to him!” Rani exclaimed.

You violently shouldered your way through the crowd until you got closer to the ring. Finally, you got a better view of Cal—his face was riddled with deep purple bruises, he was bleeding on the cheek, and blood was gushing out of his mouth.

“CAL!!!”

The bell rang when you said his name. The Aqualish stood victorious. He threw his arms up triumphantly, gaining the audience’s adoration. He paraded himself around the ring while Cal lay unconscious in the middle of the ring, bleeding all over the board.

You crawled into the ring and towards Cal. You ignored the blood pooling into your palms, your fingers trembled as they held on Cal’s cheek—careful not to touch the open wound where the trickling streak of blood is coming from.

“I’m here,” you weakly whispered, saying it over and over until you get the slightest response from him.

Your eyes search for Unkar Plutt, the Aqualish looked down on you and you received his degrading laughter. The seething rage was filling your bloodstreams, your willpower was trying to fight off the aggression and anger growing with you by the minute—the same aggression and anger that led you to the fight night lifestyle back in Nar Shaddaa.

[nayutai]

Gotta Go

⤳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

⤳ Prompt: “the reader is out singing karaoke in NYC at a Korean BBQ place or something and BTS is touring there, and they stop in to relax and have fun, and they hear the reader singing? And then I suppose it could go any way from there”

⤳ Happy One Year to the BTS Smut Club! I’m so, so thankful to be a part of this network. I’ve been able to meet so many amazing authors who have taught me so much and allowed me to improve my own writing through them. This is my contribution to the anniversary project and I hope it’s everything the requester wanted it to be 💞

⤳ Warnings: language, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex

“Janae your rich ass better be paying for this food. BTS has taken nearly a grand from my bank account and I’ll be damned if I spend $50 on some bulgogi and tea water.” You call out from the bathroom as you lean in close to the mirror to fill in your eyebrows. After waking up at three in the morning to catch your flight and then spending the afternoon exploring New York City with your three best friends, despite the occasional rain storm, you looked and felt like shit. All you want to do is curl up in bed and watch a movie but your friend Janae is craving korean bbq and is dragging the rest of you with her.

“Don’t worry, love. Mommy’s paying for this one.” Janae says as she walks up behind you waving around the black American Express card her mother had given her. Both of Janae’s parents came from old money and subsequently became big whigs in their respective professions. Janae was primarily raised by nannies while her parents threw money at her to fill the void left by their absence. She made sure they paid dearly for it and you can’t say you blame her.

***

Hoseok flops down on top of Jungkook with a whine while Taehyung and Jimin cackle from across the room. The three of them have been trying unsuccessfully to convince Jungkook to go get food with them but the youngest is being stubborn. Shocker.

“I’ll pay just come with us.” Hoseok whines, wrapping himself around Jungkook’s bulky frame. Jimin and Taehyung writhe around in laughter at the smile on Jungkook’s face that can only be described as victorious.

“Well since you offered...I found this korean bbq place nearby that’s supposed to be really good.”

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it, you maknae brat?”

“That’s not important so are we going or not?”

“Yeah, I’m starving. Let’s go”

Jimin and Jungkook are fighting over the last bite of kimchi, despite the fact that their waitress has just left to go get more, when the host that greeted them at the door rolls out a karaoke machine and announces that the floor is open. Anyone who scores 85% or higher gets a half off discount on their meal. The only catch is that the machine will be shuffling through a kpop top 50 playlist and the patron has to sing whatever song comes up.

The sound of a girl clambering forward for the microphone catches the table’s attention. Jimin and Jungkook even stop arguing to see what’s going on, allowing for Hoseok to swoop in and steal the kimchi they’d been arguing over. Taehyung licks his lips when his eyes wander down her figure. He’s not entirely sure how she managed to fit her ass into her shorts because they look painted on but he’s glad she did. The host presses shuffle and the rest of the girls at her table immediately start yelling when the first notes of Chungha’s Gotta Go begin to play.

Taehyung is mesmerized by the way she flawlessly moves as she puts on a show for her fellow patrons. He’s even more impressed with how good her korean pronunciation is. Cheers arise from the crowd during the dance break when she really goes all out.

“She’s really good.” Jungkook murmurs around a mouth full of rice.

It’s no surprise when she receives a near perfect score. She graciously bows to the host when he hands over her well-deserved coupon before bowing deeply to the crowd. Her friends smack her on the ass repeatedly in celebration of her performance when she returns to the table. Jimin and Hoseok whisper amongst each other before flagging down one of the waiters when he walks by their table on his way to the kitchen. Jungkook and Tae share looks of confusion but remain quiet. Whatever the other two members are conspiring about will be revealed eventually.

Taehyung nearly chokes on his drink when he watches the young man turn on his heel to walk back across the restaurant to the table Taehyung hadn’t been able to tear his eyes from. They seem to not believe whatever it is the waiter says to them but Taehyung’s eyes widen when they follow him anyway to the dark corner of the restaurant that they’ve been occupying for the better part of three hours.

***

“Holy shit he wasn’t lying.” You breathe out as your friends stand shell-shocked by the table. You all slowly lower yourselves into the extra chairs that are rushed over while Hoseok asks for your names.

It’s awkward at first but once everyone gets past that, conversation flows much more smoothly. Especially once it’s revealed that you all studied abroad in Seoul for a year and therefore speak basic Korean. Taehyung finds himself even more enamored by you the more he hears you speak. He thinks you’re absolutely adorable as you scrunch your nose up in concentration whenever you forget how to translate specific words into korean. He vaguely registers the fact that each of your friends has paired off with one of the other members.

Jimin orders a couple rounds of shots and things start to get a little more interesting. Taehyung takes careful notice of the way that the two of you seem to be moving closer together as the minutes go by. He’s afraid to read too much into it but dear god he’s hoping this means you want him the way he wants you. Your eyes seem to be drifting to his lips every few seconds and it’s making him fidgety with the urge to touch you. So much so that he drops the piece of meat he’d picked up. It lands right on his crotch. Before he can react, you snatch it up and pop it in your mouth with a wink and a flirtatious grin. Time to go.

Taehyung stands, pulling you with him, noticing then that Hoseok and Jungkook have already disappeared with two of your friends and Jimin is about to do the same with the one still at the table. He hadn’t even noticed their absence in the slightest. The air outside is crisp and serves to clear his lust-clouded mind a little bit.

“Nothing has to happen tonight. You know that right?”

“I’m well aware of that fact. I’m also well aware of the fact that I want to ride you into oblivion and I can’t do that if I don’t leave with you.” Taehyung’s jeans feel three sizes too small as his cock swells at your crude words. The hotel is on the next block but as he weaves through the crowd with your hand securely in his, that block feels like a mile.

***

Taehyung is almost frantic as he rushes to reveal what your clothes hide. Your giggling morphes into small moans and gasps when he buries his face between your legs without warning. His hands rhythmically squeeze your upper thighs as he holds your squirming hips in place. His tongue is sinfully talented and coupled with the darkness of his eyes staring into yours you’re a goner. Your thighs are trembling from the force of your orgasm when Taehyung finally releases you from his grasp.

Your hands fumble with his belt while his lips tangle with yours. For some godforsaken reason the man is still fully dressed. He even still has his sneakers on. His shirt joins your clothes somewhere on the floor, pants shoved halfway down his thighs. You hum in excitement at the lack of underwear. One less layer of clothing for you to contend with.

Taehyung reaches for the condoms he’d haphazardly thrown into the drawer of the bedside table. He hadn’t planned to bring anyone back to his room but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. You snatch the latex from him once he’s got it open, relishing in the deep grumble he lets out when you roll it on him. He presses your thighs to your chest and slides his rigid length through your wetness until he’s coated in your juices. A shiver of pleasure runs through you every time he bumps against your clit.

“Stop teasing me.” You demand through gritted teeth. He chuckles darkly. The low timbre of it has your inner muscles clenching around nothing.

“As you wish, love.” Taehyung draws his hips back, thrusting forward to roughly bury himself inside you. You would scream but it feels as though he’s forced all of the air out of your lungs.

Taehyung is similarly affected. His head tossed back as he savors the sensation of your walls hugging him so tightly. He’s sure that yours is the tightest, wettest pussy he’s ever had the pleasure to be inside of. Another groan escapes him when you start squirming around beneath him. You’re begging for more and more he’s about to give you what you’re asking for.

His pace starts off slow and steady like the gentle rocking of a recently vacated rocking chair but it builds. It builds until his hips are pistoning into yours at high speed. If the loud smacking sound his thighs make every time they collide with your skin doesn’t give away your activities, the banging of the headboard against the wall surely will. Taehyung bends his head down to latch his lips around one of your nipples. His movement changes the angle of his hips only slightly but it’s enough to have him roughly stabbing at a particularly sensitive spot inside you repeatedly.

You cry out his name as you’re thrown headfirst into a mighty orgasm. He thrusts a few more times before your spasming muscles make it too difficult for him to continue fucking into you. Instead, he lets you milk him dry, a hoarse shout escaping him as he fills the condom.

“Fuck that was good. I might need a wheelchair for your concert tomorrow though.” Taehyung huffs out a laugh while still trying to catch his breath.

“That can be arranged.”

[fortunatelylori]

Hi! I’m new to your blog so forgive if this had been asked before...but what makes you think Jon is using Dany? I haven’t read the books, so is maybe there an indicator I’m missing?

Hey, nonnie!

No worries … I find it pretty difficult to explain at this point why I think Jon is using D*ny because I’m so used to the political Jon theory and it’s such an amalgamation of points, evidence and sound analysis that I could probably talk about it for 2 days straight without repeating myself. But I’ll give it a shot and try to keep it as brief as I can. :) 

FYI, you don’t have to read the books in order to see the sense of this theory. All you need to do is engage with the show material in a more judicious way and not expect the narrative to spoon feed you plot points, which many people do, particularly when it comes to D*ny’s story line. 

Now, no introductory course into Political Jon is complete without the excellent metas by @thelawyerthatwaspromised so I’m going to include a few links here for your convenience: 

https://thelawyerthatwaspromised.tumblr.com/post/178471892596/tinfoil-jons-two-huge-lies

https://thelawyerthatwaspromised.tumblr.com/post/174814148886/how-jon-completely-took-control-of-dany-in-season

https://thelawyerthatwaspromised.tumblr.com/post/176008185561/gots-pov-trap-the-anatomy-of-betrayal-and-why

@thelawyerthatwaspromised has written extensively about this subject so if you want to delve deeper, I highly recommend a through look on her blog. 

From what I gather from your ask, you don’t see the clues season 7 set up for Jon using D*ny. What I’m going to suggest to you is that the reason why you don’t see them is not because they’re not there but because of the way that D*ny’s narrative has been handled so far. D*ny, up until this point in the story, has paid no price for all that she’s accumulated, she’s faced no consequences for her actions and suffered little to no losses since the end of season 1. This has lulled the audience into thinking that D*ny will always get what she wants, in exactly the manner she wants it and as such they have felt extremely comfortable in suspending their critical thinking when it comes to her actions or how she fits into the larger scope of the Game of Thrones universe. 

In a story where every single character ONLY gains something by losing something important or making huge, personal sacrifices or compromises, D*ny faces only momentarily set-backs that are easily resolved by the plot if not in the same episode where the problem arises then by the end of the season. 

In a realistic show about the ruthlessness of medieval society, where people play the game of thrones or they die, D*ny is stuck in a Dungeons & Dragons role play set on the easiest difficulty. 

Just look at a few of the things D*ny has been allowed to get away with/get out of with little to no consequences: 

- she’s stuck in the desert, she wants access to Qarth, she threatens a bunch of people, gets access to the city

- her Qarth supporter betrays her - she locks him up in his own vault together with her traitorous handmaiden, plunders his home and leaves Qarth unharmed - no one bats an eyelash to the fact that she locked two people in a vault where they would slowly suffocate/starve to death, not in the narrative or outside of it; 

- while in Qarth, she has her dragons stolen by some extremely powerful wizards - has a walk through their temple, burns the wizard alive and the temple in the process, leaves intact and with all 3 of her dragons - no one in Qarth has any issues with the fact that she just burned one of their temples down

- she needs an army - tricks the Unsullied master, steals the Unsullied, orders them to decimate anyone above the age of 12 - triumphant music plays through out; forget the fact that she’s just got the Unsullied she wanted, is planning on using them in the same way their master did or the fact that she begins her anti-slavery campaign essentially because she has no money to pay for an army, everyone and their mother is hailing D*ny as a hybrid Nelson Mandela/Martin Luther King/Lincoln figure. 

- Yunkai hires the Second Sons to defend the city against D*ny - Daario takes one look at her and betrays his associates and hands her Yunkai on a silver platter - he also bends the knee - again, D*ny loses absolutely nothing of any importance in all of this nor does she need to compromise or sacrifice

- Meereen wants hand to hand combat - Daario wins - D*ny takes the city and installs herself as Queen of Meereen within the same episode

- she crucifies 163 people, some innocent, without a trial - the Sons of the Harpy are born - she loses Barristan Selmy (he’ll be shortly replaced by Tyrion so no worries) but aside from that not much else happens

- she kills an exslave without a trial - Mysha is a master appears - where did this plot point go? who cares? D*ny is winning! Get with the program

- the Sons of the Harpy attack the Fighting Pits - Drogon comes to rescue her - she leaves her city and her team in danger and flies off - not one of her advisers are angry, dissapointed or feel betrayed by the fact that she abandons them; in fact Jorah and Daario are off to rescue her while Tyrion holds the city for her; Grey Worm and Missandei are pinning for her as if she’s their freaking mother. 

- D*ny gets captured by the Dothraki - oh, no! looks like she’s in trouble now - no worries! within two measly episodes, she burns the Khals and Vaes Dothrak down, unites all the khalasars, convinces them to go with her to Westeros and has now full control of Drogon - Yay! Are we having fun yet? 

In contrast, let’s look at a few of the journeys of other characters, shall we? 

Cersei: 

- wants to get rid of Maergery and take control of Tommen - she makes a deal with the High Sparrow - gets imprisoned - forced to walk naked through the streets - no one wants to deal with her, her own son outlaws trial by combat essentially condemning her to death - she blows up the Scept of Baelor - Forget the fact that Cersei goes through hell before she ultimately gains her victory. Even that is undercut by her last living child killing himself as a direct consequence of her actions. That’s quite the price to pay.

Jon:  

- Jon manages a huge win when he makes a deal with Tormund and decides to allow the Wildlings past the wall and away from the WW - he gets allies against the army of the dead and does something truly revolutionary without killing anyone or forcing them to do something against their will - they go to Hardhome to save the wildlings - the WW attack, he doesn’t manage to save them all - For all his troubles, Jon gets killed by his own brothers in arms. Jon gets punished by the narrative for being forward thinking and wanting to help people. Cool …

Arya: 

- decides to go to Braavos, trusting in the word of Jaquen and gets tricked into joining a death cult that wants to strip her of her identity and use her as a killing machine - she is blinded and starving on the streets - she escapes only after almost dying 

Sansa: 

- decides to trust the Tyrells and not run off with LF - she is forced to marry Tyrion - finally manages to escape KL - ends up in the Vale with a crazy, murderous aunt - wants to avenge her family - ends up married to Ramsay Bolton, raped and tortured - barely escapes human flesh eating hounds. 

So all the characters in this show pay dearly for each and every win they have, are punished by the narrative for their decisions, except D*ny. She looks downright invincible. Her longest running issue is the Sons of the Harpy and the slavers of Yunkai/Astapor/Volantis plotting against her and let’s look at how that gets resolved: 

She arrives with her Khalasar who decimate the Sons of the Harpy in one fell swoop - she hops on Drogon and burns the slavers fleet and kills 2 of their leaders essentially ending the conflict - ends the episode acquiring 3 Westerosi allies and more ships to take her armies over the Narrow Sea. 

You could argue she needs to give up Daario to go to Westeros but even that is not a true sacrifice because she says she felt nothing in leaving him and was eager to get it over with. 

All of this takes maximum 20 minutes to resolve. 

And it’s in direct contrast with the Battle of the Bastards that occurs in the same episode: 

- Jon and Sansa manage to get back Winterfell and the episode ends with the Direwolf banner flying on top of the castle once again; Sansa kills her abuser, Ramsay - Yay! 

Except … Another Stark is dead: Rickon; Jon abandons his battle plan, almost loses the battle, many good men lose their lives, including Wun Wun, the last of the giants, who sacrifices himself in order for the Starks to get inside the castle. They’re only saved because the Knights of the Vale intervene and in order to get them there, Sansa has to allow LF back into her life - Price paid, sacrifices made, Jon literally almost getting trampled to death. 

On the one side, you have a plot where people struggle and almost die/actually die, on the other side you have a paint by numbers plot where a character just gains and gains without any consequences. 

Doesn’t it seem fishy to you? Doesn’t it feel like the pin must drop for D*ny at some point if her story is to make any semblance of sense? 

What other reason could a show like GOT have to build a character like D*ny to the degree they have if not to tear her down and take everything from her in the end? This is not a show that makes anything easy or nice for its characters and the only reasonable candidate for the taking down of D*ny is Jon, for several narrative reasons: 

“When a Targareyen is born, the Gods flip a coin” - this has been brought up in the show not once but twice, by Cersei and Pycelle. We have two Targs left and they’re being set-up as foils since season 1. If you think this ends with Jon and D*ny happily married, bringing back the Targ dynasty and having sex on Drogon’s back for the rest of time, you haven’t been paying attention. 

Where D*ny bends people to her will, where she threatens and burns her enemies alive, Jon favors collaboration and mercy; where D*ny is hailed as Myhsa and carried on the backs of former slaves, Jon struggles to reach the surface in a crowd that is trampling him to death; where D*ny conquers, Jon convinces people to elect him; where D*ny thinks of herself as the Mother of Dragons, Breaker of chains, Jon Snow feels uncomfortable even talking about the fact that he was brought back from the dead. 

“You have to be smarter than father, you have to be smarter than Robb” - two other Stark men traveled to the South and both got killed because they couldn’t play the Game of Thrones; Jon gets tricked into going to Dragonstone but he somehow survives because he fell in love? Not very likely. Not only that but Jon gives up his crown and his country’s independence and you expect him to pay no price for that? 

Here’s the thing about political Jon. People misinterpret this as an outrageous claim that Jon is acting like Littlefinger and thus against character. But that’s not what pol Jon is. Pol Jon is a huge sacrifice Jon makes where he compromises his integrity and standing in front of his people, endangers the love and support of his family, gives up his crown and resorts to using his own body as leverage in order to save his country and his people from the apocalypse. 

He was already involved in this kind of plot before: Remember the plot where Jon had to infiltrate the Wildling camp as a spy, kill one of his black brothers in order to gain their favor, have sex with Ygritte so she continues to vouch for him and ends up betraying all of them and upholding his NW vows? Because I do. Jon has been a spy before, Jon has used people before. Jon was not blinded by love into giving up his values and everything of importance to him in exchange for cave sex/b0atbang. 

As for a repeat of Jon/Ygritte, I would say not likely. I have already dissected the Jon/D*ny relationship on my blog ( Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4). Part 5 of the series was taken down because Tumblr is more offended by the outline of Jon’s butt than actual Nazis and porn bots but I’ll re upload it, hopefully soon. I’m not in the habit of linking my own stuff but I go into a lot of detail there which I’m not able to provide in this answer. Suffice it to say that the narrative undercuts the Jon/D*ny romance at every turn, we’re cut from Jon’s POV through out his stay on Dragonstone and he’s cold and standoffish with her in a way he never was with Ygritte. 

A 3rd twist in the story is coming - GRRM has said that this story will contain three major twists: one was the burning of Shrieen, the second was the reveal of Hodor’s name (which links back to the abomination of Bran warging a human being). The last one happens at the end of this story, and is, as of yet,unrevealed. Everyone is speculating about what this twist will be and the options are getting more and more fantastical by the day. Most of the people speculating, though, haven’t touched upon the most obvious answer which is: Dark D*ny and a Dance of Dragons 2.0. 

It isn’t that the narrative hasn’t given people enough clues that D*ny is turning dark but because of the way that her plot has been handled, it has lulled the audience into believing that all these clues don’t matter. I would argue that at the end of season 1 people entered a symbolic pact with the devil when they glossed over D*ny executing Mirri Maz Duur and since then D*ny’s level of violence has only exacerbated. A point in the narrative will come when she won’t be able to get away with the “it’s necessary” argument any longer. And when that happens, the only person that can oppose her is Jon. Further supported by the fact that … take it away Bran: 

He was never a bastard. He’s the heir to the Iron Throne. 

So if he’s in love with her and willing to give up everything for her, even after she takes him prisoner, uses the lives of his people as a bargaining chip for him bending the knee, and still vacillates on her commitment to the cause after he’s bent the knee (”I can’t forget what I saw beyond the wall and I can’t pretend that Cersei won’t take back half the country when I’m gone), then how the hell is he going to end up stealing a dragon and fighting against her? 

Those are the main narrative reasons why political Jon is plausible and viable and leads directly into the Dark D*ny endgame. 

Now, because of the way season 7 played out, I sort of understand why people think it’s just business as usual. After all, doesn’t Jon go through the same sort of arc in relation to D*ny that Daario and Tyrion already have?

Daario first encounters D*ny, takes a fancy to her, betrays his Second Sons partners and fully commits to her within the same episode.

Tyrion travels across Essos expressing doubts that the Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains is all that she’s cracked out to be, has one conversation with D*ny and suddenly all those questions fly out the window and he now “believes”in her and is fully on board with her invasion of Westeros. 

By that logic, of course, Jon comes to Dragonstone, expresses doubts about D*ny, refuses to bend the knee but then over the course of the story, he changes his mind, bends the knee and is now fully committed to D*ny’s cause. Except that Jon is neither a blood thirsty mercenary like Daario nor is he in love with staying relevant within the Game of Thrones, like Tyrion. Jon has always put the North, his values and his Stark family above all his personal ambitions. Why would D*ny succeed in changing Jon, when Ygritte couldn’t?

The narrative has already switched the tables on D*ny by handing her more defeats in season 7 than she’s experienced in 5 seasons but people assume that this too is just a minor set back. But it isn’t. 

At the end of this story line, Jon Snow, the secret Targareyen, the heir to the Iron Throne, the bastard Stark and the shield that guards the realms of men is waiting for her. And that Jon Snow can’t be a cinnamon roll, he can’t be a Northern fool in love with a pretty lady with dragons. He needs to be political Jon because: 

In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. 

Thanks for the ask!

[jedifighterpilot2727]

So JSkippy over on AO3 sent in this prompt - Lexington (probably teen) gets kidnapped. Not by aliens or cadmus or something but by stupid normal kidnappers who just want a ransom. And the kidnappers are trying to be scary and threatening to her and she just keeps muttering "you really have no idea..." about the badassery surrounding her. Maybe a little Lexington self defense thrown in...

And this is what happened:

Kidnapped

(Read it on AO3)

Looking back, she really should have seen it coming.

The signs were all there - the night was just a little too quiet; the lights on the stretch of sidewalk in front of the alleyway conveniently blown; the van parked at the curb.

The makings of a good kidnapping were all in front of her, but she’d been too caught up in her girlfriend.

It wasn’t her fault, really.

Taylor looked entirely too beautiful not to stare at.

It would have been a shame not to notice the way the light brown swirls in her dress made her eyes look like a nicely aged Scotch.

Or the way the curls of her hair threatened to drift into her face at any moment.

In fact, it would have been downright criminal of Lexi not to brush that hair back behind Taylor’s ear, or to not take advantage of the darkness and steal a kiss.

And really, she probably should have looked around at her surroundings instead of sneaking peeks at her girlfriend.

Unfortunately, Aunt Alex was right -  a distracted target is an easy target -  and that distraction is exactly what got her into this mess.

This mess being that she’s now squared off with a scrawny kidnapper wearing a spandex style Power Ranger mask - the blue ranger, if she’s not mistaken in the darkness.

The left side of her face is throbbing from the sucker punch that startled her out of their walk, and she can already tell that she’ll be sporting a shiny new black eye tomorrow.

Still, now that the shock has worn off, it should be an easy fight; Aunt Alex has been teaching her to fight before she could even ride a bicycle, and she swoops out a low kick - slightly surprised when her attacker manages to dodge away.

Still, she easily follows up with a nice roundhouse, satisfied with the contact she makes with his chest. The force sends him staggering backwards, and she uses the space to steal a glance at Taylor.

Unfortunately, another figure has Taylor wrapped up in a hold from behind, and Lexi lunges towards her.

“One more step and it’s a bullet in the head for this one.”

The stern voice cracks like a whip in the night air, and it stops Lexi cold in her tracks.

The metal of the gun pressed against Taylor’s temple glints in the street lights, and Lexi swallows against her rising panic.

Fuck.

Quickly, she weighs her options.

She can rush the attacker, hoping that the Kryptonian serum she’d injected herself with a few months ago still had enough juice to get her there in time, (and enough to render her bulletproof). She’s been testing it on her own of course, but not with anything more dangerous than a stop watch, and certainly not with gunfire.

She’s certainly willing to risk it if the attacker shows any intention of hurting Taylor, but right now they seem stable, and she doesn’t really want to test the odds.

So that leaves surrendering and figuring out an escape plan later.

She’s been some version of a Kryptonian/Human hybrid for a few months, but she’s been a tactical genius her entire life.

Needless to say, she likes those odds a lot better.

So she freezes, hands instinctively going in the air and eyes locking with Taylor's - even as a solid force collides with her and she stumbles to the side. Fumbling hands reach for hers, and after a moment they’re firmly secured in what appear to be military grade zip ties. Luckily, she finds her hands secured in front of her instead of behind; and even more luck ensures that Taylor is in the same boat.

Which isn’t great, but honestly better than the alternative.

A lot better than the alternative, Lexi tells herself as she allows herself to be lead to the waiting van - taking in the logo of a local bread company plastered on the side.

It’s not all bad, she thinks, as she finds herself clumsily stuffed into the back of the van next to her girlfriend. The kidnappers obviously aren’t experienced -   which make their chances of actually getting killed or injured a little less.

Still, the back of the van does smell a lot like her favorite cheese baguette, and the ties on her hands are just a little too tight to be comfortable.

Not to mention the fact that they’re, ya know, kidnapped.

She tries to keep a brave face though, as Taylor settles opposite her on the floor of the van.

“What’s happening?” Taylor’s voice quivers, and Lexi reaches across the space to hold her hand.

“I’m not exactly sure. I think we’re being kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped?!”

“Shh, not so loud.” Lexi glances towards the front of the van, afraid for a moment that their captors have overheard them.

Fortunately, they seem to be more intent on celebrating their victory than on keeping watch over their captives.

“Don’t worry, it happens all the time.” Lexi tries to reassure her in a soft voice.

“Lexington!” Even though Taylor is whispering now, Lexi can still feel the sting of the rebuke. “You don’t get to be calm about this! People don’t just get kidnapped on their way to dinner and act like it’s a normal thing!”

“Sorry! But it does! I mean, it hasn’t happened in a while - Uncle Lex made sure of that - but for a while there, it happened on a pretty regular basis.”

“Lex.” All of the anger has leeched out of Taylor’s voice, only to be replaced with pity, but Lexi shrugs it off.

“I mean it’s just one of those things that happen when your moms are -“ she glances toward the front of the van. “- you know.”

Taylor’s hands squeeze hers as best they can in their restraints.

“Right.”

“On the plus side, I think -“

“Hey!” The captor in the passenger seat interrupts her. “Shut up back there! We might think you’re trying to plan an escape or something!”

The driver lets out a loud laugh.

“How many times do I have to tell you? They’re not going to escape from this! How many times did we watch taken to prepare for this? We’ve got this down to a science!”

“Damn straight!” The passenger whoops, holding out his hand for a high-five.

The van lurches to the side as the two make contact, and Lexi and Taylor have to brace themselves so they don’t slam into the bulkhead.

“In twenty-four hours, all our problems will be over! We just gotta follow the plan and we’re home free!”

They both cheer at that, and Lexi takes advantage of their distractedness to reach for the panic button on her watch.

Only the restraints are too tight for her to maneuver, and the decree of silence  and the darkness make it impossible for her to ask for Taylor’s help - rendering the tiny, inconspicuous switch on the back of her watch useless.

Next, she tries to break the ties apart; only to discover that while her strength is greater than a humans, it’s not greater than the ties - which makes her wonder where exactly they got their equipment.

It doesn’t feel like a Lilian style kidnapping; her grandmother may employee a variety of goons, but usually they’re more professional than this.

NOTHING about this op seems professional - from the van to the whooping and hollering.

Besides, dear old grandmother has only made a few attempts over the years, most of them thwarted by Uncle Lex.

The op doesn’t seem too be anti-Supergirl themed either. Not that anyone is supposed to know who her mother is anyway, but her family has encountered a lot of hate for their ‘support’ over the years.

But neither of their captors has said a word about aliens or the girl in red and blue; so that leaves Lexi feeling that that isn’t their motive either.

Before she can put anymore thought into it, the van jerks to a stop suddenly; sending both Lexi and Taylor sliding across the slick floor.

The back doors clang open.

“Alright, out, out out; everybody out.” One of the captors, the one wearing the yellow Power Ranger’s mask, waves them out with an assault rifle.

Lexi jumps out, landing softly on the gravel before turning to offer her still bound hands to Taylor for assistance.

“Aww, how gentlemanly.” The Yellow Ranger mocks before tilting their head. “Or is it gentlewomanly?”

“Dude, just say chivalrous.” The Blue Ranger pipes up as they come around the corner of the van.

“Either way, I can see why you two make all the tabloids.” The Yellow Ranger turns to their partner. “See, I told you we made the right choice.”

“Yeah, yeah, come on; let’s get these two inside.”

‘Inside’ turns out to be an abandoned industrial warehouse converted into a squatter’s apartment. Lexi blinks against sudden lights, even more confused as to their captors’ origins.

“Who sent you?” she asks as they’re led over to a makeshift table and chairs built our of crates and pallets.

“Who sent us?” The Blue Ranger repeats. “Nobody sent us, we work alone.”

“Then what made you decide to kidnap us?”

The Rangers turn to look at each other.

“I thought you were something? Some kinda genius?” The Yellow Ranger finally asks her.

“Yeah,” The Blue Ranger chimes in. “Are you stupid? Your mom is a fricken billionaire. Do you know what kind of ransom money we’re gonna make off you?”

“Not to mention your perfect little girlfriend. I’m sure the Luthor-Danvers will double our money for her. And if not, I’m sure we can squeeze a few pennies out of her real estate agent daddy.”

“You're in this for money?” Lexi asks incredulously.

“Yes, we’re in this for money; little miss rich girl. As much as we can get, as fast as we can get it. You think I like working at that stupid bakery? Do you know how bad yeast smells?”

“Dude!” The Blue Ranger smacks their partner in the shoulder. “You’re giving away too much information.”

The Yellow Ranger only shrugs.

“Don’t worry about it! Besides, I’m already seeing our first pay check.”

“What?”

“How much you think that watch is worth?” The Yellow Ranger jerks his head in Lexi’s direction.

The Blue Ranger is instantly at Lexi’s side, letting out a low whistle as they examine the watch.

“Probably more than we make in year.”

Lexi feels the rising panic as the captors' attention is turned on their only easy way out of here.

“Nah,” She bluffs, “Not that much. I found it on Craigslist.”

She definitely shouldn’t mention that it’s a custom made piece forged together from precious metals and a form of Kryptonian steel.

“Yeah right, nice try.” The Blue Ranger snorts before pulling a knife from a holder on their belt.

Lexi flinches, instinctively shrinking away from the presumably sharp blade.

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” The Blue Ranger says as they wedge the knife under the plastic of the tie. “Damaged merchandise doesn’t bring as much money.”

“Yeah, and you already gave her a shiner. I told you to be careful.” The Yellow Ranger scolds.

It takes a few good tugs to cut the tie - ones that dig the plastic into Lexi’s wrists and leave her fingers begging for circulation.

Finally, the plastic snaps, and her hands break free; but before she can even make an attempt for the panic button, the watch slips from her wrist and into the hands of her captor. The ties are quickly replaced, (though mercifully not so tight), and Lexi tries to rub her wrists to alleviate some of the stinging.

“We’ll save this to pawn when we get to our final destination.” The Yellow Ranger reaches for the watch. “Or who knows, maybe we’ll just wear it for a trophy. What else you got?”  

They tug Lexi to her feet, before carefully searching her pockets and pulling out her phone and wallet.

“And so phase two begins.” The Yellow Ranger crows.

“Phase two?” Taylor sounds terrified, but Lexi can see the fire in her eyes, and she finds herself hoping that her girlfriend doesn’t do anything rash.

“Phase two is when we unlock this lovely little device.” Cold fingers grip Lexi’s jaw, holding her in place as the facial recognition scanner goes over her features and the phone unlocks.

“Now,” The Yellow Ranger continues. “We’re going to call you mother -‘Mama’, is it? - and little miss heiress here is going to explain that you two are safe and sound then we’re going to tell her that if she ever wants to see her precious daughter again, she’s going to wire a billion dollars into an offshore bank account.”

Lexi snorts.

“It’s not that easy to just liquidate a billion dollars. It’s an impossible request.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll give her a few hours before we start taking off fingers.” The Yellow Ranger promises and The Blue Ranger giggles maniacally.

Taylor is beginning to look a little green.

“What happens once you get the money?” Lexi asks, mostly to take Taylor’s mind off the whole cutting off fingers business, but also because she’s genuinely curious about how they think this little plan is going to go.

“Then we leave, and catch a flight to somewhere far away from here that doesn’t extradite to America. Once we’re all safe and settled, we’ll call in an anonymous tip to the NCPD, and they’ll come release you before you have the chance to starve to death. Easy Peasy. Nobody gets hurt, and my friend and I make an easy billion dollars.” Even though The Yellow Ranger’s face is hidden by a mask, Lexi can tell they’re pleased with themself.

“Why us?” she can’t help but ask.

“Because,” The Blue Ranger pipes up. “Unlike some billionaire kids, your parents adore you; so of course they’ll pay the money. No questions asked."

“Come on, we haven’t got all night.” The Yellow Ranger admonishes, waving Lexi’s phone. “Now are you going to play along or not? I’d hate to have to threaten your girlfriend.”

Lexi gives Taylor a long look before nodding.

“I’ll do it. No funny business.”

“Perfect! Let’s give Mommy dearest a ring, shall we?” The Yellow Ranger taps the screen before kneeling down next to Lexi and holding out the phone.

“I thought you and Taylor were supposed to be out on a date?” Lena’s voice comes through the speaker after just two rings.

“We are - well, were. We uh, had a little incident.”

“An incident?” Lena’s tone is all business. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Ma.”

“Is Taylor okay?”

“She’s fine, we’re both fine. We just-  well, we got kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped! Lexington -“

“They just want money, Ma. Nothing weird, okay? Just money.”

“Money?”

The Yellow Ranger stands before speaking.

“Money is exactly what we want, Ms. Luthor-Danvers. A lot of it. And if you know what’s good for your daughter, you’ll give it to us without any trouble. I’m going to call you back in exactly thirty seconds from an untraceable number and give you the details.”

The telltale beep of a disconnected call sounds, and they toss the phone to the grounds, stomping it repeatedly with their boot as The Blue Ranger clamps down on The Yellow Ranger’s shoulders, jumping for joy.

“What the fuck?! That sounded so hardcore! ‘Money is exactly want, Ms. Luthor-Danvers’. Fuck yeah!”

“Chill out!” The Yellow Ranger barks out. “We still have to talk to her and get everything settled. If you celebrate, you’re going to jinx it!”

“Sorry, sorry; call her back! Call her back!”

The two head to the opposite side of the room, heads bent over one of the captor’s phones in concentration.

Lexi takes the opportunity to check on Taylor.

“Are you okay?”

“Lex, your eye. “ Taylor’s still bound hands come up to frame her face, and Lexi winces as a thumb brushes her cheekbone.

“Sorry.” Taylor apologizes. “It doesn’t feel broken though.”

“Small miracles.” Lexi offers with a wry smile. “You didn’t answer my question though, are you okay?”

“As okay as someone can be who’s kidnapped and offered up for ransom.”

“Hey, at least they’re just asking for money, that’s easy. We’ll be fine, I promise.”

“The way they were talking, it might be a couple of days before we’re found.”

“Do you really think my mom would let that happen? I’ll be shocked if she doesn’t find us before they even get the money.”

“I know you have a lot of faith in her, but don’t you think our situation is a little . . . dire?”

“You say dire, I say quality time.” Lexi winks.

Taylor rolls her eyes, not moving her hands, even as their captors join them once again.

“So, if she isn't lying, the money should be in the account in about an hour; all in all, not a bad turn around.” The Yellow Ranger declares, and Taylor rolls her eyes again.

“Well, is there any way we can get an ice pack in the mean time?”

“An ice pack?”

“For her eye?” Taylor clarifies.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” The Blue Ranger saunters off towards the kitchen area before tossing them a small bag.

“Pizza rolls?” Lexi crinkles her forehead. “Don’t you have any peas? Or maybe an ice pack?”

“An ice pack? What do you think this is? A hospital?”

“Sorry, thank you.” Lexi concedes, wincing as she places the frozen pack to her eye.

“So if we’re going to be stuck together for another hour, what should we call you guys?” Taylor asks, and Lexi rolls her eyes, because of course her girlfriend is trying to make friends with the kidnappers.

The Yellow Ranger and The Blue Ranger look at each other.

“Isn’t it obvious?” The Yellow Ranger asks.

“Yeah,” chimes The Blue Ranger. “They're The Yellow Ranger, and I’m The Blue Ranger.”

“So you don’t have names?” Taylor prods.

“Oh come on!” The Yellow Ranger throws their hands up in the air. “Haven’t you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?”

“What does this have to do with dogs?” Lexi drops the ‘ice pack’ from her eye to stare incredulously up at them only to have Taylor reach over and put it back.

“It’s a movie.” Taylor explains before turning back to their kidnappers. “So we’re just supposed to call you The Yellow Ranger and The Blue Ranger?”

The captors look at each other before nodding.

“Perfect.” Lexi can’t help but roll her eyes, despite the pizza rolls.

“I’m beginning to wish we’d done dinner and then a movie, instead of the other way around.” Taylor mutters before turning to the kidnappers. “Is there any chance we can get some food while we wait?”

“Uhh, yeah, the only food we have is those pizza rolls.” The Blue Ranger gestures to the pack on Lexi’s eye.

Lexi can practically feel Taylor’s rage.

“Are you serious?”

“Okay,” she interrupts before Taylor can go off. “You literally just took my wallet - there’s a platinum credit card in there that’s good for a least a couple hundred pizzas.”

The Yellow Ranger appears to study them.

“You two promise not to make any trouble?”

“Pinky promise.” Lexi promises, offering her pinky finger.  “Please just order some pizza?” somehow she manages to keep her voice one step above pleading.

“Yeah, please can we order some pizza?” The Blue Ranger chimes in.

“Fine, yes, let’s order pizza, If that will just keep all of you quiet!” The Yellow Ranger groans.

The Blue Ranger flips through Lexi’s wallet.

“Should I use the black card or the gold card?”

“Dude, what does it matter? Just pick one!” The Yellow Ranger huffs before storming over to a desk in the corner with laptop set up on it.

“It’s a legit question! What if one gets more rewards?”

“Gold is fine.” Lexi cuts in. If she remembers correctly, that particular card is set up so that an alert will pop on Lena’s phone as soon as a charge is made. It’s not much of a clue, but maybe it will help to speed the whole rescue process up.

“Sweet!” The Blue Ranger fiddles with their phone before looking up to Lexi and Taylor. “Oh, did you guys have any diet restrictions? You cool with pepperoni?”

Lexi nods, and Taylor does the same before leaning in so only Lexi can hear.

“At this point, I’m pretty sure the pizza could have anchovies on it and I would still eat it.”

Lexi can’t help but grin, bumping shoulders with her girlfriend before reaching for her hands.

“Lex, I love you, but we can’t hold hands and hold the pizza rolls to your eye.”

“So we’re going to hold hands?”

Taylor rolls her eyes before taking Lexi’s hands and pushing them back up to her face.

“We’re gonna make it out of this, you know.” Lexi promises, thinking she might sound a little more confident if she didn’t have a bag of combination pizza rolls pressed to her face.  

“I know.”

“And I’m sure this isn’t one of those things that you thought you’d have to deal with when you started dating me -“

“Lexi,” Taylor says sternly. "I know what you’re doing, and you need to stop.”

“What am I doing then?”

“You’re over thinking things and trying to blame yourself for this.”

“You think you would have gotten kidnapped if you were dating somebody else?”

“No, but I also wouldn’t be dating you.” Taylor points out with a soft smile.

“Still, I think I definitely owe you dinner when all of this is over.”

“Are you kidding me? You definitely owe me dinner. Preferably fish tacos."

Lexi grins.

“It’s a date."

The hand on her leg squeezes again, and Lexi finds herself relaxing into the touch.

“Pizza’s going to be here in 20 minutes!” The Blue Ranger announces before launching themself over the back of the couch.

The warehouse drifts into silence, save for The Yellow Ranger typing away on his keyboard, and The Blue Ranger playing some sort of first person shooter game that Lexi can’t quite make out from the angle.

When this whole thing started, so much adrenaline was pumping that she didn’t have much of a chance to feel overwhelmed or dissolve into a panic attack. Now though, her heart rate has returned to normal, and her brain has an opportunity to dissolve into anxiety.

This is certainly not how she planned on her night going.

She was planning on enjoying a nice dinner with Taylor before inviting her back to her apartment under the guise of not wanting to disturb Mandy so late. (It definitely wouldn’t have had anything to do with getting to see Taylor wear her shirt to bed or waking up to sleepy cuddles.)

So not only are her plans ruined, she’s also in a life or death situation -  one her brain is only deciding now to come to terms with. Not only that, but Taylor is also in a life or death situation, and that just makes things infinitely . . . worse.

She wants to scream, or cry, or - or - something. Anything to relieve the itching feeling burning the inside of her skull.

Everything is just too much - the restraints on her wrists, the wetness leaking from the bag of pizza rolls onto the cuff of her sleeve, the fake gunfire squealing too loudly from the television.

She clenches her fist, the one that isn’t holding the pizza rolls, digging her fingernails into her palm until it hurts - the pain giving her a distraction.

What she needs, is for everything to stop, just for a minute. For the world to not feel like it’s moving so fast that she can’t keep up.

“Hey,” Taylor’s whisper cuts into her racing thoughts. “You okay?”

Lexi nods jerkily.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just . . . a lot.” Every muscle in her body is clenched up, and she feels like she could take flight with the vibration of it.

Taylor’s hand on her thigh starts to move back and forth, her nails scratching through the fabric of Lexi’s pants.

Slowly, she feels her brain begin to clear, all of the sensory overload beginning to dull - if only slightly - but at least she doesn’t feel like she’s about to lose her mind.

“You okay?” Taylor asks again after a few minutes.

This time, Lexi nods with more confidence, already feeling the sharp knife of panic begin to dull.

“Better.”

“Here, give me the ice, okay?”  Taylor reaches for the makeshift ice pack and sets it on the pallet table before tugging at Lexi’s sleeve. “Let me fix it.”

Lexi holds out her hands as best she can, and watches with glazed over eyes as Taylor’s fingers fumble with the cuff; bound hands struggling to roll the sleeve so that the chill of the transferred water is at least dulled. Once she’s done, she grips Lexi’s fingers with her own, silently offering her support.

It helps.

A little.

There’s still nothing she wants more than to be free of these stupid zip ties. To be able to get away from the din of the mundane.

Unfortunately, as much as it pains her, her hands are still bound, and she’s forced to wait out her captivity in relative silence -  the only reassurance her connection with Taylor.

She isn’t worried about whether or not her moms will send reinforcements -  in fact, she pretty sure that DEO agents have been on her tail since she was born.

She’s actually more shocked that one of her family members hasn’t come bursting in yet.

Not that they’ve been missing all that long, but still - not exactly what she expected from the Luthor-Danvers clan.

Still, she’s sure something will come together soon.

She’s concentrating so hard on their lack of rescue, that when there’s a loud knock at the door , she jumps two feet in the air - almost knocking over the crate she’s sitting on.

Her captors don’t seem to be any better off, both of them scrambling over each other to access the laptop.

“Who is it? Who is it?”

“I can’t tell yet, just calm down, let me get the feed pulled up.”

There’s a moment of silence before The Yellow Ranger shouts out.

“Would you look at that! Marco’s Pizza logo right there on his jacket!”

“See, I told you we shouldn’t be worried about the feds finding us!” The Blue Ranger does a little dance before heading towards the door. They stop just before they leave Lexi’s line of sight.

“You two, be quiet, capiche? I’d hate to have to take drastic measures.” They end with a thumb drawn agains their throat, and both Lexi and Taylor nod.

“Capiche.”

Lexi can’t see the door open, but she hears it, and she briefly wonders if The Blue Ranger even bothered to take their mask off before answering.

“Yo, just bringing you some tubular slices from good ol’ Marco’s pizzeria! You need any extra sauces with that?” A new voice speaks, (Lexi can only assume that it’s the pizza delivery person), and she finds herself wondering who in the world still talks like that.

“You got any ranch?"

“Do I have any ranch? Of course I have ranch! Two okay?”

“Perfect."

"So, I notice you already paid on the app, sweet tip by the way, thanks for that. So all you gotta do is sign here and I’ll be on my way, leaving you with these rad pies!”

Taylor’s questioning eyes meet hers, and she shrugs her shoulders. Maybe it’s an alien pretending to be hip with pop culture, or maybe it’s someone who’s literally been under a rock for thirty years. At this point, she couldn’t really care less - unless of course it involves either actually eating the pizza or getting rescued - but still, it’s humorous.

She waits impatiently for the pizza exchange to happen, and for The Blue Ranger to come around the corner bearing cheesy goodness, but it never happens.

Instead, there’s a loud bang, and Lexi instinctively throws herself forward, shielding Taylor’s body with her own.

The next few minutes happen in slow motion.

First, there’s a woosh of air as Supergirl flies over them, pulling them upright and snapping their restraints.

Second, an entire DEO team storms the warehouse, no less than three agents tackling The Yellow Ranger, forcing them to the ground.

Third, is Lena Luthor- Danvers and Mike Mitchell making their way inside, flanked by DEO agents.

Lexi doesn’t think she’s ever been so happy to see her mothers in her life.

And she’s been pretty fricken happy to see her mothers.

“You’re here!” She breathes as two sets of arms wrap around her.

“Of course we’re here! No barbarian is going to use my child as a barter for cash, that’s ridiculous.” Lena sounds harsh, but Lexi recognizes it as her business voice.

“Ma, I’m fine.” she protests.

“Oh, you better be, or else someone here is getting their ass kicked.”

“Ma.” She protests again, but it’s weak; as she sinks into her mom’s embrace.

“All clear, suspects contained.” Aunt Alex’s voice sounds throughout the warehouse, and the mood visibly lightens. Unoccupied DEO soldiers relaxing their shoulders and lowering their weapons.

Grandpa J’onn steps around  the corner as a full Martian, and Taylor gasps.

“That’s my Grandpa," Lexi explains, "He’s a Martian."

“A Martian?!” Taylor looks baffled. “So they really are green?”

“Only some of us, and only sometimes.” J’onn laughs before shifting back into his Hank Henshaw persona.

“Well, that’s neat.” Taylor mutters under her breath.

“And sometimes, we can look high schoolers that deliver pizzas.” J’onn continues, shifting until he looks like the pizza delivery guy.

Taylor blinks.

"I don’t think I’ve had enough food to be able to process this.”

J’onn laughs again before shifting back.

“Unfortunately, the pizza is a loss, and we’ve got a few things to take care of here before we can let you leave.”

Taylor manages to hold back a groan, but her face falls; and Lexi can’t help but take pity on her, rubbing a soothing hand over her back.

“Come on, I know where Aunt Alex hides the fun size Snickers."

It takes roughly an hour for everything to get sorted; initial statements taken and evidence marked. By the end, Lexi is absolutely starving, and by the look on her face, Taylor is one step away from hangry.

“Is there anyway we can get some food now? Grateful for the rescue and all, but we were really counting on that pizza.” Lexi jokes, slinging her arm around Taylor’s shoulders.

“Yeah, can we get some food?” Kara chimes in.

“Oh my god, there’s two of you!” Lena groans with a smile. “Come on, the 24 hour diner is still open, we can still catch the all-nighter menu.’

And maybe - Lexi thinks as they make their way to a DEO van, - maybe it wasn’t the best night, but it was still a good night.

Attempted kidnapping et al.

[once-upon-a-spemily]

Let’s Grow Old Together 2/3

Part two of the fake-dating AU: It’s time for the wedding! Alison’s wedding, that is. Spencer and Emily are still pretending to be together. Only now, their parents have found out! With the help of some alcohol and some tender moments, things escalate a little more than Spencer expected.

The wedding was in upstate New York, because of course it was. Which meant not one night of festivities, but pretty much a whole damn weekend. Spencer wasn’t actually too annoyed. With a few hundred guests, she could slip away when she needed, and she’d get to see her friends at least.

“Yeah, Mom,” she said into her phone as she finished packing, “Emily and I will be arriving in a few hours. Yep, I’ve got the name and address of the hotel. Yes. Yes. Mom!”

“Alright, alright,” Veronica said. “Drive safe, we’ll see you soon.”

Spencer picked up Emily, and they drove to the quiet little town where Alison was going to get married. The hotel was gorgeous. One of those sprawling, secluded, five-star, retreats, where you’d go to get away from it all.

“Why do they keep treating this like it’s the royal wedding?” Spencer asked, grabbing Emily’s duffel bag with one hand and wheeling her own luggage with the other. “This is worse than Melissa’s.”

“Spence, let me take a bag,” Emily said.

“No, it’s fine,” Spencer said as the doorman pulled open the lobby doors for them. “Let’s just get checked in and find our rooms.”

Emily shook her head, like Spencer was being difficult, and walked up to the check-in.

“Hi, Emily Fields and Spencer Hastings checking in,” she said.

“Wonderful, give us one moment,” the clerk said. “Do you have ID?”

Emily slid hers across.

“Okay…yes, here we are. Emily Fields and Spencer Hastings, your room is ready.”

Spencer looked at Emily. Room? Emily nodded, and turned back to the clerk to handle it.

“I’m sorry, did you say room?” Emily asked.

“Yes, room 404, if you’d like to give your bags to the bellhop we’ll have them taken right up.”

Spencer handed off their luggage to the waiting bellboy and turned to Emily, who was looking at the slip with their card keys as they walked to the elevator.

“Who do you think we have to thank for this? Ali, my mom, or your mom?” Spencer asked. Emily laughed, and they ushered into the elevator.

“You really think my mom’s that devious?” Emily asked.

Spencer shrugged. She wouldn’t put anything past Pam Fields.

“It’s fine, it’ll sell it better anyway,” she said. “Besides, most of these rooms have two beds, so it’s not anything scandalous.”

The elevator doors opened and they followed the signs to the end of the hall, where there room was. Emily slid the key card through, swinging the door open. Spencer trailed into what could only be a suite and immediately saw the one king bed.

“I think it’s fair to say it’s my mom who did this,” she said. “Only she would give us an upgrade, and a surprise.”

“I mean we’ve shared beds before,” Emily said. “I know it’s been a while, but…”

“It’ll be fine,” Spencer said, mostly because she didn’t want to dwell on it. Also, Emily was right. They shared beds at sleepovers all the time, back in the day. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

They went about unpacking, and eventually, Emily cleared her throat. When Spencer looked up, she saw how Emily was twisting her hands. She was nervous. Why?

“You know, considering how long we’re going to be here, I’m guessing we might need to kiss at some point,” Emily said.

Spencer nodded, like her heart didn’t just start hammering, like her palms didn’t feel clammy. “I figured as much.”

“And you don’t care?” Emily asked, her brows furrowed.

Spencer sighed, raking a hand through her hair. Did she care? Was not caring a big deal? Was caring a bigger one? “I…just want to do whatever will sell this, whatever will make this weekend good for you.”

Emily nodded, and she seemed to relax, so Spencer did too.

They went down to the rehearsal dinner together, of course. It was not a sit down dinner, just apps and drinks, but everyone was dressed up, all the same. Before they could even find Aria or Hanna, their parents swooped in. Well, the Hastings swooped. Pam and Wayne just walked like normal people.

Spencer was being hugged by her mom, her dad, Emily’s mom, Emily’s dad, to the point where she could barely separate who was hugging her when.

“We’ve been waiting all day to see you,” Veronica said. Then she turned to Emily, “Hi, Emily, sweetheart, how are you?”

“I’m great, Mrs. Hastings–”

“Emily, please, you’re dating my daughter, just call me Veronica.”

“O…kay,” Emily said, looking a little bit like she just woke up on another planet. She recovered quickly, though, Spencer noticed.

“We wish you guys would’ve told us,” Pam said. “We were so thrilled to hear, but it was such a surprise.”

“We were just being cautious,” Spencer said.

“How long did you wait before you told your parents about us?” Wayne asked Pam, winking at Spencer, and for a moment, Spencer was so relieved to have him here that she forgot that she wasn’t, in fact, dating his daughter.

“We’re going to go find Hanna and Aria, we’ll see you guys a little later,” Emily said quickly, linking her arm with Spencer’s and guiding her away.

“Thanks for getting us out of there.”

“Love them all, but that was…a lot,” Emily said, as if it wasn’t the biggest understatement of the year.

They found Hanna and Caleb, and Aria was off with some new boyfriend they hadn’t met – she seemed to change every year or so – and Alison was busy with her family, so Spencer felt like she could actually relax.

Halfway into the evening, Spencer went to get herself and Emily some food from the buffet when she finally ran into Alison.

“So…you and Emily,” she said.

Spencer’s jaw clenched. “Yeah. Me and Emily. For a little while now.”

“Yes, I’ve heard,” Alison said. She didn’t sound jealous but there was that lofty, sugar-coated tone to her voice that made Spencer immediately tense. “I never would’ve guessed it. Never would’ve put my money on the two of you.”

It felt like a slap, even though it shouldn’t have felt like anything. Despite her shock, Spencer laughed then, and shook her head. “That’s the problem, Ali. A relationship isn’t a betting game.”

She turned on her heel, walking back across the room to where Emily was sitting, handing her the plate of food she’d assembled.

“Oh, thanks,” Emily said. Spencer saw her mother’s watching them, and she bent down, level with Emily, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and then her hand, before taking her seat by Emily’s side again.

“Mom’s watching,” she said quietly. She toyed with the small hairs at Emily’s temple.

“You’re good at this,” Emily replied, equally quietly.

It was easy. Spencer wasn’t sure why it was so easy, to hover around Emily, to get into her personal space, to breathe her air, to let their hands roam too freely, to touch with intention, but it was. It felt like second nature.

Spencer wasn’t stupid enough to say that out loud.

“I’m good at everything,” she joked, earning an affectionate eye roll.

“Well, you’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had,” Emily said, and Spencer smiled, wondering why her chest felt like it was about to cave in.

“Em, we need to go soon!”

“Hang on! It’s not my fault you took so long!”

Spencer rolled her eyes, sorting through her purse. She was ready to go. Makeup and hair done, dress on, now she just needed Emily to finish up.

“Can you do the clasp?”

Spencer looked up, surprised that Emily was already out of the bathroom, and caught her breath.

Emily looked amazing. Which, to be fair, she often did, but this was something else. The dress was black, with gold accents, nearly backless, long sleeves, hugging tight at the right parts, something out of a dream.

“What?” Emily asked.

“Wow.”

“Wow?”

Spencer nodded, stepping forward so that she could do the clasp. Emily turned around, scooping her hair up off the back of her neck. Spencer’s hands found the tiny clasp at the top of the dress.

“This looks amazing on you,” she whispered, letting her hands hover for just a moment. Emily shivered against her.

“You know it’s just us, right? No one else is here?”

Spencer stepped back, dropping her hands, fiddling with her grandmother’s ring that she always wore on her right hand. Emily dropped her hair, turning to face Spencer once more, looking very amused.

“I know,” Spencer said. She suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. “But it’s true. I don’t think anyone will be looking at Alison.”

“What about you?” Emily asked, tugging Spencer forward. “Burgundy’s a good color on you.”

“I think it’s technically oxblood,” Spencer said.

Emily let go of her then, wrinkling her nose, and the moment was gone. “Gross. Can’t it be like…dark wine or something?”

Spencer shook her head, trying to clear it. “We should go downstairs. Don’t wanna be late.”

Emily held out her hand, waiting, and Spencer locked their fingers together.

The wedding itself was unremarkable. Some people were crying, Spencer was only half paying attention, and Emily seemed almost as bored as she was, which she took as a victory.

The reception was where things got more fun. There were, at least, copious amounts of champagne and other alcohols to combat the literally dozens of people who came up to them to congratulate them on their relationship, or pester them with questions. Once that initial interest died down they could at least talk to their friends in peace.

When Caleb came to steal his wife away for a dance, Spencer figured they might as well join in. She held out her hand for Emily, guiding her to the dance floor.

“You having a good night?” Spencer asked.

Emily tilted her head to the side, and the slightest trace of her dimple appeared. “Yeah, I am, actually. If Hanna gets one more glass of champagne in her, this is going to turn into a wild night real fast.”

“I think we can arrange that,” Spencer laughed, pausing to spin Emily before pulling her close again. “You’re better than her, you know. Alison, I mean.”

“Spencer…”

“No, you are,” Spencer said. She suddenly felt hyper-aware of her hand on Emily’s waist, and the way Emily’s hand felt in hers. “You deserve better. I hope you get it.”

Emily’s eyes were downcast, leaving Spencer staring at how long Emily’s eyelashes were. Then, with a flutter, her gaze was back on Spencer’s, her eyes dark and soft all at once.

“Thank you.”

Spencer didn’t have anything to say to that, so she just nodded, pulling Emily a little closer. They rested their foreheads together, for show, and Spencer stopped thinking, she just let herself enjoy it.

They did, eventually, get another glass of champagne in Hanna, and several more themselves, and Emily’s prediction was dead on. It became a real party. Spencer was buzzing on alcohol, her heels had been kicked off hours ago.

She could see Emily across the room, talking to some of their old classmates. Melissa sidled up next to her, holding her baby bump, and inserted herself into the conversation. Spencer felt a wary sensation crawl over her. Melissa was always trouble, and pregnancy had just made her worse.

Spencer watched as Melissa chatted, smiling, and Emily’s gaze followed hers, not to Spencer, but to Alison. Spencer watched Emily go stiff. Melissa made another comment, and then Emily said something quickly, walking away, towards the hall outside of the ballroom.

Spencer made a beeline after Emily.

“Emily!” she said. She chased after her, grabbing her arm. “Are you okay? What did she say to you?”

“Nothing,” Emily said. Spencer gave her a look. “She just made a snide comment about me using you to get over Alison, and other stuff.”

“Fuck her,” Spencer said.

“Spencer.”

“No, I’m serious, who cares what Melissa thinks. Or does. Or says. She’s Melissa, she’s the worst,” Spencer said. She started to pull Emily back towards the ballroom, smiling now. “Here, I have an idea. You wanna have some fun with this? Wanna get the whole room to shut up?”

“I’d love some fun, honestly.”

That was all Spencer needed. She was too drunk to question herself. She slid her grandmother’s ring off of her hand, palming it discreetly. She’d feel bad about this, if she cared about Alison’s wedding at all, and if Alison and her new husband hadn’t just taken off for their honeymoon an hour ago.

The party had started to wind down after Alison left, but there were still a good amount of people there. Spencer could feel the pairs of eyes on them. They were not, after all, out of view.

“Emily Fields,” Spencer said, loud enough that those closest to them could hear. “Being with you has been…truly wonderful. It’s been fun, and silly, and meaningful. You get me out of my head, and keep me grounded. And you have, god, you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

There are more people watching them now. Spencer was pretty sure she heard Hanna squeal.

“Emily, I want to grow old with you,” Spencer said, pulling out the ring, smiling like an idiot because this was too much. They were so stupid, and this was so fun. “Will you marry me?”

Emily was laughing, too, both of them way too drunk to realize how bad of an idea it was.

“Yes,” she said. “Of course. Of course!”

Spencer smiled even wider, unable to stop laughing now, and she slid the ring onto Emily’s hand. That was definitely Hanna squealing. Before Spencer could turn to see how many people witnessed it, Emily was dragging her towards her, and kissing her like, well, like two people who just agreed to spend the rest of their lives together.

Spencer forgot pretty quickly that she was not dating Emily, and that there were tons of people watching. Her hands came up to Emily’s hips on instinct, pulling her closer. Right when she went to deepen the kiss, Emily pulled away, still smiling, and Spencer came crashing back down to reality.

Well, at least back to her giggly, drunk, still-stupid-as-all-hell reality.

Before Spencer could say anything, there were arms being thrown around her and Spencer realized that it was Hanna, and she was crying.

“You guys!” she said. “This is amazing! I better be one of your bridesmaids or I will kill you both.”

Spencer looked at Emily, and they both laughed. God, they were having far too much fun with this.

Might as well enjoy it.

Reality, real reality, didn’t hit them until the morning. They woke up in the king bed they were sharing, both a little fuzzy feeling, and Spencer’s ring still on Emily’s hand.

Spencer sat up, grabbing the water bottle on the nightstand and downing half of it. She grabbed her phone. Five missed calls. Twenty text messages. Notification across nearly all of her social media accounts.

She listened to her voicemail first. It was, unsurprisingly, her mother, who was, surprisingly, not angry. She was happy. Beyond happy. And she made brunch reservations at the hotel restaurant. For all of them, and Emily’s parents, to eat together. At 11:30 sharp.

Spencer looked at the clock. 10:45. They had time.

Fuck.

“What have we done? What the actual fuck have done!” she said.

Emily was pacing. Still wearing the ring.

“I’m sure we can just–”

“Just what, Em? Tell everyone that we were faking? That we got really drunk and ran with it? That would crush them! Everyone would hate us! And we’d both be getting the pitying and the sad looks, and people would think…”

“I know!” Emily said, throwing up her hands. “I know, okay?”

“What are we going to do? Shit!”

Emily walked over to Spencer, taking her face in her hands. “Spencer, listen to me. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe for a minute.”

Spencer did as told, closing her eyes, just feeling Emily’s skin against her own.

“Better?” Emily asked. Spencer nodded. “Good. Look, we’ll figure something out. With that big brain of yours, we’re bound to get out of this okay. But for now, can we just finish this out? This weekend was been so fun, against all odds, and we need to bide our time anyway. Please? For me?”

Spencer nodded. “Yeah. Okay. For you.”

Emily’s whole demeanor brightened immediately. “Thank you!” she said, bouncing forward to kiss Spencer’s cheek. “I’m going to shower, get ready, we don’t have much longer before we have to go downstairs!”

Spencer sat on the bed while Emily showered, trailing her fingers over her lips. She remembered the kiss last night with shocking clarity for someone who’d been so drunk at the time.

Spencer shook her head, getting dressed so she could look at least somewhat presentable for brunch.

When they got down to the restaurant, their parents were already there, all talking amiably. It was a shock to the system, seeing them all look like a family.

“There they are!” Veronica said, beaming. Spencer couldn’t help but notice that Melissa wasn’t there. This really was just for her and Emily. Spencer tried not to feel satisfaction at that, but couldn’t help it.

“Hi Mom, hi dad,” she said, kissing their cheeks. “Pam, Wayne.”

There are hugs and kisses traded all around before they sit.

“You know, Spencer,” Peter said, “the next time you want to propose, you could stand to do it a few hours earlier. We were all back in our rooms when the dang thing happened. Would’ve been nice to be there.”

“There won’t be a next time, Dad,” Spencer said primly. “And I’m sorry, I really am I just…it wasn’t exactly planned.”

Four pairs of eyes were on her, and she sighed, having to navigate this now. How to sell this as something that wasn’t brash and irresponsible, but also not something they had secretly planned long in advance.

“Look, Emily’s lease is up soon, and we were talking about having her move in with me, I was thinking about proposing, clearly, but I didn’t expect to do it now, I wanted to wait until we’d done the steps, you know, followed the plan, and I would’ve loved for you all to be there. But the wedding, the romance, I guess I got a little swept up in it. I couldn’t wait anymore,” she said, looking over at Emily.

That worked, right?

“I’m just giving you a hard time,” Peter said. “We’re happy for you both. It’s been wonderful, seeing you this happy.”

“Did you have any dates in mind?” Wayne asked.

“Not yet,” Emily answered. “I think we want to take it slow. Just enjoy being engaged for a while. We’re not in a rush.”

The four parents laughed.

“You certainly were in a rush last night,” Pam said, and even though her voice was affectionate, Spencer blushed.

“Heat of the moment,” Spencer said. “But we really aren’t rushing it. I mean, neither of us are really in a position to plan a whole wedding right now, what with the firm and everything–”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Veronica said. “Spencer, you focus on work, I know you’ve got a full plate right now. Just take it easy.”

That was…suspiciously understanding.

“Well, whatever happens, give me advance warning,” Wayne said. “I’m home for now, no more deployment, but I just want to be safe. I wouldn’t miss this for the world”

All of this before they even ordered. Spencer felt a little queasy. She looked over at Emily, who looked even worse. Spencer imagined the feelings associated with Wayne and her wedding were hard for Emily. To lie to her father, who meant the world to her, probably hit her like a sucker punch. Spencer reached over and grabbed her hand. Distinctly aware that their parents were watching them like hawks, Spencer lifted their joined hands, kissing Emily’s knuckles.

“You need some food, babe?” she asked.

“I’d love some,” Emily said, perking up quickly. “Do we have a waiter?”

[aromanticasterisms]

im thinking about edolas counterparts

when you think about it, they’re the same character as their earthland counterparts, just in a different world. they grew up differently. they reacted to that circumstance differently. that one crucial turning point in their lives never happened to them.

lucy ashley is similar to lucy heartfilia, in some ways. her father is overbearing and controlling. her future is in his hands, being laid out before her. she doesn’t have a say. there is no solace in that house; no friends in the shape of her late mother’s celestial spirits. she closes herself off, becomes cold, and lashes out. she dreams of the day she will finally leave; maybe taken in the night by a dark guild and finding an unexpected family. she dreams and she dreams until finally she can’t stand her father any longer. as she leaves her father’s manor, she chops off her hair, flips him the bird, and never looks back. if you really want to change something, take it into your own hands.

natsu dragion is terrified. there is no dragon, no burning flame inside of him providing him with boundless strength. there is no ever-present, powerful family around him, telling him that with each other, they can accomplish anything. what he does have is a small, desperate and scared family constantly on the run, with numbers dwindling with each escape. what he does have is a sister figure who beats him up to make him stronger (who loves him and who he loves, but he really wishes she would lay off the punishments once in a while like lucy please). what he does have is an enormous magic four-wheeler with wheels that catch on fire. which is pretty sick. he’d like to see the fairy hunter try and fight a vehicle coming at her at over a hundred miles per hour. behind the wheel, inside the walls of the four-wheeler, he is safe. he is powerful. and he is fast. the fastest, actually. he can outrun any monster, any royal squadron, any problem and any enemy. and that’s enough for him.

wendy doesn’t like humans. her adoptive mother doesn’t like them either. they’re too brash, they think fighting solves everything. they think if they want something badly enough, it’s free for them to take. the king of edolas continually steals from earthland, claiming it’s for the greater good, for the good of edolas, but even wendy, as young as she is, can see it’s to sate his own greed. his own lust for power. she doesn’t like humans. she especially hates the ones that pick on her new friends; the timid boy who won’t stop apologizing, the older boy who constantly challenges authority, and the black and white pair of her age that won’t stop bickering and also won’t leave each other’s side. seeing them get hurt sends her into action. she takes them all on--anyone and everyone who raises a hand against her friends. she hates humans, but some of them aren’t so bad. and those ones are worth fighting for.

cana loves her father. gildarts is a well-off nobleman, who raised cana on his own to be a proper lady. maybe not quite proper enough, she thinks as she steeps her tea in the middle of fairy tail’s guild hall. her father would surely chastise her for joining a dark guild, but she can’t help it. she loves her friends, her family, dearly. it breaks her heart each time the guild loses a member. she doesn’t understand why the king still wants to fight after all this time. all cana wants is to sit with her friends and have a nice cup of tea. all she wants is for everyone to be safe and happy. jet kicks over a table for the third time today and natsu stumbles by, crying as lucy sits on his shoulders and argues with levy across the room. not quite what she envisioned. even so, she smiles behind her cup, there’s nowhere else she would rather be.

mavis never casts law. she ages normally, staying with her newfound family and remaining fairy tail’s master for decades. when the king declares all magic guilds outlawed, she begins to strategize. she already lost one family. she will not lose this one--she will not lose zera this time, nor yuri, precht, or warrod. so she stands tall, stands proud, and defies the king. her strategies bring them victory after victory, and for a while, they win, they celebrate. but their victories are short lived; the king presses down harder on fairy tail. after one especially crushing defeat, where most of the guild barely escaped with their lives, and yuri was fatally wounded, mavis breaks down and cries. this is her fault, she thinks. she should have strategized better, she should have seen that coming, how could she not? how could she be wrong? how could she mess up? how could she let her family get so terribly hurt because of her? she can’t take it. she stands in front of her guild and she offers a heartfelt apology, and steps down. she stays long enough to see that her guild is stable without her, and she leaves. and one last time as the fairy tactician, she doesn’t see something coming. zera leaves with her. 

ivan is a traitor. after mavis steps down, he swoops in with a new strategy: run and hide. the guild has lost almost a third of their members, including their master and one of the other founders. other guilds are crumbling around them. they are heartbroken and terrified. the idea of running, hiding, and staying safe, sounds better than ever. for twenty years, they move their guild somewhere secluded, and run when they’re discovered. they keep to themselves and they are safe for a while. then she arrives. erza knightwalker, a ruthless and cruel captain of the royal army. she sets her sights on the elusive remaining guild and she hunts them relentlessly. they move sooner and sooner, losing more and more members. the guild argues as the time for the fairy hunter’s arrival draws near. ivan slips outside, into the forest the guild is hiding in. they will run like always, he knows this. and he knows where they will run to. he always knows. and through him, the king knows too. family is family, after all. he stands behind the guild and waits. knightwalker’s red hair soon becomes visible in the forest. she is twirling ten commandments in her hand. the guild’s path is predictable, she says by way of greeting. your information is no longer necessary. relieved, he sighs. i can finally return to the castle, then. her spear at his throat makes him think otherwise. he swallows hard. i have provided you with useful information! i have been valuable to you! her spear comes closer. that is no longer the case. as useful as you have been in the past, you are still a fairy. her grin makes his blood run cold. and i kill fairies.

lisanna was a kind soul. she and her siblings grow up in a guild on the run, always on the brink of extinction, and instead of becoming hard like the world around them, they become kind. they smile brightly at the rambunctious guild antics, and softly console grieving friends. their situation is far from desirable, and they know this. but they have nowhere to go. many of their guild members don’t either. so when the fairy hunter is always right on their heels, it’s understandable when the guild panics. some of them accept it, accept their fate, ready to lie down and die. others loudly protest, wanting to stand up and push back, and only go down if they go down fighting. a small amount suggest disbanding and scattering to the winds. we need to decide, someone--probably levy--yells, she’s going to be here any minute! the guild descends into madness, shouting and arguing. things are starting to get out of hand, and lisanna looks around, desperately hoping the master will step in. wait--where is he? i’ll go find the master, she announces, a hand on the door handle, he should be able to settle things. what she does not expect to find in the forest is the master bargaining with erza knightwalker. i have provided you with valuable information! she presses her hands to her mouth, feeling sick. knightwalker cuts him down and she can do nothing but stand in shock. the fairy hunter, with the master’s blood splattered across her armor, spots lisanna and grins.

laxus is lonely. ever since his father infiltrated a dark guild, laxus has been left alone in the royal castle. the king lives there, of course, along with lots of advisers, servants, royal guards, and knights. one of which has been assigned to watch over him after one too many midnight outings. bickslow is stoic, a buzzkill, and no matter what laxus does, he cannot get the man to laugh. even so, he appreciates the company. especially when a green haired thief snatches his wallet and he doesn’t even notice until bickslow runs after him. what laxus thinks he appreciates more, though, is how easy it is to convince him not to alert the authorities. laxus looks at the thief, who has backed himself up against the wall and is looking at the two of them apprehensively, and feels sympathetic. he kneels down and asks him his name. freed.  laxus gives freed some of the money from his wallet. you can just ask next time, though. freed shows up a week later at laxus’s window and asks if he wants to hang out. they become fast, unlikely friends after that, with bickslow as a begrudging chaperone. freed spins dramatic tales and laxus hangs on every word. bickslow is polite enough to wait until the end of a story before pointing out that they’re completely fabricated. laxus knows, but he still loves to listen. one particular tale freed tells sends the three of them to the cobalt forest, looking for a local cryptid, after bickslow says some reports line up with the story. laxus almost instantly gets separated from the other two, and finds himself stumbling into a clearing. sitting facing away from him is a young woman with long, unkempt brown hair. laxus’s blood runs cold. she matches the description almost perfectly. he panics, scrambles backwards, and falls into a bush. the woman whirls around, and after a long, terrifying silence, she laughs. after a while, laxus joins her. he apologizes for startling her, and she smiles. you are not like the others. he takes that as a compliment. he sheepishly explains that he’s kind of sort of totally lost, and she helps him find his way out. they find freed and bickslow at the edge of the forest, and laxus excitedly introduces the two of them to his new friend, evergreen. the four of them build strange, but close bonds even as the kingdom descends further into something none of them like. laxus can’t stand what his father is doing. bickslow can’t stand to see his fellow knights follow terrible orders. freed can’t stand watching people he knows go hungry on the streets. evergreen can’t stand to see the king stealing so much magic for himself. what if we all just left, laxus says one day. just ran away, got away from all this. we could go exploring! go on adventures and see the world! the three of them look between each other, and then back to him. if it’s with you, i don’t see why not.

lisanna strauss is not supposed to be in edolas. she doesn’t exactly know how she got here in the first place. she remembers that beast taking over her brother and sending her flying. she remembers feeling fuzzy and...floating? she thought she died. but here she is, alive and well, being crushed to death in a hug by her sister who is not her sister and her brother who is not her brother. mira isn’t even close, not by a long shot; she’s soft and gentle, not like her sister who is hard and rough to stop the world from hurting her, but who cares so so deeply about the ones she loves. elf reminds her of a younger version of the one she knows; he’s sensitive and timid, and while her brother might be shy, he is stronger than most give him credit for, as he endured the same hardships she and mira did. it’s not quite right, but they’re clinging to her, shaking and crying. we’re so glad you’re alright, we thought she killed you. lisanna looks up at the sky, which isn’t quite the right color, and with a hollow feeling in her chest, she knows she’s here to stay. so she hugs them back, holds them tightly, and mourns the home she will never see again. fairy tail in edolas is wrong. it’s wrong, so wrong, it’s off in so many ways, but she smiles at all the people who cry when they see her, who hug her just as tightly as mira and elf. she pretends she doesn’t remember much, and people fill her in with recent news and old history. it works for a while, but there are still parts missing, parts she doesn’t fully comprehend. it feels like trying to solve a puzzle with a handful of pieces you’ve stolen from someone else. mirajane shows her a picture of the three of them from a few years ago. lisanna looks like her, she thinks as she holds it, but not quite. her hair in the picture is shorter. she cuts it. lisanna wore longer dresses than she does. she changes clothes. she makes it work. this is her home now, this is her family now. this is where she belongs now. even if she feels like a puzzle piece forced into the wrong spot; bent at the edges, not quite fitting with the ones around her. even if the ground she walks on, the air she breathes, the very world around her feels wrong, as if screaming at her that she’s out of place. even if she’s not quite sure who she is anymore, somewhere between lisanna strauss and lisanna from edolas. even if she cries some nights, homesick, missing her family, her fairy tail, torn between wanting to go home and not wanting to make her siblings cry again. lisanna strauss is not supposed to be in edolas, but she’s staying anyway.

[supermoviemaniac]

What you should expect from Avengers Infinity War (Early Predictions): Less than a year to go until the greatest ensemble of stars and creative talent come together for the biggest movie in history! By then, the Marvel Cinematic Universe will be 10 years old, and we know from brooding end credit scenes and certain things falling into place that Infinity War will finally bring Thanos to the forefront of the Avengers' attention, as he (at long last) gets off his purple backside to collect the 6 Infinity Stones. Most people know that this will likely be the premise of the movie, but is it possible to speculate any further? Of course it is! Here's my list of things that'll likely happen - things I'm willing to bet money on... 1). Don't expect to see ALL the Avengers: Yes that's right. Though you may be quick to assume that every hero in the MCU will make an appearance in Infinity War, I'm pretty certain that the 'entire' cast won't be completley together until the untitled Avengers 4. Why you ask? Well you have to remember that the Avengers are still divided after the events of Civil War - half of them are presumed to be hiding in Wakanda thanks to Black Panther. I imagine a moderate portion of Infinity War will jump to and fro both factions as the film progresses, with each 'team' dealing with their own Thanos-related troubles, until of course they put their differences aside to work together. Plus, the Ant-Man sequel comes out in between the two upcoming Avengers movies, so it'd be odd if he featured in Infinity War, which is a huge apocalyptic movie, only to revert to a small scale threat in between. So, after Ant-Man and the Wasp, I imagine there's an end credit scene which provides them with an opportunity to be a part of Avengers 4. 2). Avengers 4 will most likely be called 'Infinity Gauntlet': Marvel Studios have chosen to keep the Infinity War sequel's name untitled until a later date, which means the title probably contains spoilers that would potentially give away the outcome of Infinity War. Before they chose to do this of course, the two films were simply called Infinity War Parts 1 and 2, so just because they're no longer labelled as 2 halves, still expect the two films to be heavily connected. It's still a two-part story for sure. It's simply because Marvel Studios wanted to make sure both films were giving their own 'identity', and we know from history, that two-part movies usually lack in varying aspects. Being able to devote and consider both films as seperate whilst still being connected means that they can focus and make sure both films stand on their own. Right, with that out the way, expect part 2 (Avengers 4) to be called 'Infinity Gauntlet'. I know, it's hardly a spoiler, seeing as though the majority of us knew that the events of Infinity War would result in the accumulation of the stones and the complete construction of the Gauntlet. The reason they won't reveal the proper title until after everyone's seen Infinity War is to avoid spoilers (for the small percentage of people that are still innocently clueless), and to make sure the focus is on Infinity War. They want our undevided attention! 3). The outline of Parts 1 and 2: So as I said, part 1 is 'Infinity War' and you should expect part 2 to be called 'Infinity Gauntlet'. Part 1 will be able getting the band back together, as they're left with no choice but to put aside their differences and unite their diverse strengths. There will be failure after failure, as the Avengers core teamwork will be a little rusty, which ensures Thanos' minions are able to retrieve the stones for him. Expect the film to switch between the heroes in varying locations. Some will be with the Guardians somewhere, and others will be some place else. I imagine the end of the film will consist of Thanos getting the final stone for the Gauntlet, after spending 2 and a half hours of screen time stealing them. I hope that the film replicates a particular part from the Infinity Gauntlet comics, where Thanos raises his hand and clicks his fingers together, instantly eradicating half of life in the universe. It would make for an epic cliffhanger - the screen turns black and the sound of a cosmic click echoes through the theater! As for part 2, aka 'Infinity Gauntlet', the full roster will finally unite properly, combining their efforts in an attempt to take down Thanos and his newly obtained omnipotence. The stakes will be high and there will be heavy losses. A good portion of the original Avengers lineup will either die or 'retire' from the superhero world to make way for the newer heroes such as Spidey, Doctor Strange, Black Panther and Captain Marvel etc. That's not to say the original characters won't pop up every now and then in future films as supporting cast - most of them will just be taking back seats, similar to what Iron-Man has done since his trilogy has ended - he's just been featuring here and there instead. 4). Thanos won't die: As far as these movies go, 99% of the time, the villain fails miserably after failing to make a fool-proof plan, resulting in their death and demise. However, when the villain in question is Thanos, don't expect the Avengers to simply win and save the day after beating the Mad Titan. Thanos is too big of a villain to kill after 10 years of build up. Yes the Avengers will win, but so will Thanos in other ways. Both good and evil will suffer heavy losses, but both will gain in ways we've yet to see. Don't get me wrong, the film will end with a satisfying victory, but it won't be all sunny days. The Infinity Stones aren't easy to destroy, so questions such as, "What are we gonna do with this colourful gauntlet" are likely to arise. With that being said, I very much doubt Thanos will be the following villain in Avengers 5 (whenever that happens). He'll make way for other big threats whilst he takes a tactical retreat in the darkest reaches of the universe. There's a strong chance that the Avengers will think Thanos is dead, but I'm sure they'll be surprised to see his face again in a few years. 5). Satisfying boss fights: If you can't wait to see the heroes take on Thanos first hand, be aware that it won't happen so quickly, and so easily for that matter. Thanos' lieutenants, The Black Order are somewhat confirmed for Infinity War. I say "somewhat" because only half of them are confirmed as of now, but I'm sure in time, the rest of the group will be. So if you don't know who the Black Order consists of, you're in for a treat. The evil group are as follows; Ebony Maw, Black Dwarf, Super Giant, Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight. These guys and girls follow Thanos keenly, sharing the same wishes and ideals. Given that there's 5 of them, I imagine each one will be retrieving one of the 6 Infinity Stones, whilst Thanos collects the 6th (if he hasn't gotten it by the end of Thor Ragnarok). As to which stones each individual will be after is unknown, but we're yet to see the location of the final stone, the Soul Stone, rumoured to be in Thor Ragnarok. I could be wrong though. I doubt each villain will be assigned to a stone, but I think that at least 2 or 3 of them will be. I have a feeling that Infinity War will likely consist of the heroes taking on (and beating) a different Black Order member as the film progresses. As I said earlier, whilst the team is divided, half of the Avengers could be taking on one of them, whilst the other half is at the other side of the galaxy taking on another. The Black Order have a diverse range of abilities, which usually mirror that of the heroes' such as Supergiant who can grow at will - I imagine Giant Man will be required. Or Black Dwarf, who is similar in stature to that of the Hulk's, so I expect them two to be punching each other at some point. So in summary, the film/s will probably be mini boss fight after mini boss fight until it eventually leads to the big purple man himself - much better than fighting expendable aliens or robots (Avengers and Avengers: Age of Ultron). 5). Locations galore: This was probably obvious, but which locations exactly? Well firstly we can be sure Earth is on the list not only for obvious reasons, but because Vision obtains the Mind Stone and Doctor Strange has the Time Stone. To speculate which other locations will pop up, all we have to do is map out where the other stones are being kept. So aside from Earth, prepare to return to Xandar (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.1) in regards to the Power Stone that's currently under watch by the Nova Core. Asgard (Thor), home to the Space Stone after the events of the first Avengers movie. Side note; there's a possibility this stone could be stolen during Thor Ragnarok seeing as though Hela will be destroying Asgard to some degree - Thanos may be working for her and could swoop in as an end credit scene. Anyway, back to the list of locations. Next, Knowhere (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.1), due to the fact that the Reality Stone was given to the Collector for safekeeping after Thor the Dark World. So other than the Soul Stone that we haven't seen yet, you can expect those locations listed above for certain, but of course, you have to assume those stones are still where they were when we last saw them. Other than that, more specific places like the Sanctum Sanctorum and Wakanda are likely to be in the movies. 6). Hela is the new 'Death': The big bad villain of Thor Ragnarok may have a bigger role to play than just destroyer of Asgard. A few people like myself have speculated that Hela will in fact be Thanos' love interest. In the comics, Thanos' universal demolition derby derives from his desire to impress Lady Death - the embodiment of death itself. The reason I think Hela will step in for this part is because she's far more plausible than a cloaked skeleton woman. The embodiment of death is far more difficult to integrate into the movies, especially when you have someone as perfect as Hela in the MCU who could easily be an alternate. The films could then follow a similar path to the comics and give Thanos a quirky love interest, which would flesh out the character and his motives. Who knows, he may just have an interest in her because she has the Soul Stone in her possession, but that's a whole other speculation! Well, that'll do it for now. I hope you enjoyed reading. Agree, disagree? Let me know! Plus be sure to tell me what YOUR speculations are for both Infinity War and 'Avengers 4'.

[league-of-light]

PLAYOFF PICK’EM

The playoff championships are around the corner and I'm more excited than Phil is to give Katie some lingerie so he can see a girl in undies for the first time in person instead of behind a computer screen (This final pick’em of the season is sponsored by rubhub.tv, your international hub to rub one out). It's your two favorite people here, Mr. Naughty and Mr. Nice (which is which? That's a secret I'll never tell, xoxo Gossip Girl), the Sultans of Shadows, the Lords of Light, your cocomissioners of content, Willyboi and Juan Wandisimo here as we give you the final weekly pickem: Christmas Playoff Edition.  We’ll start with the consolation playoffs and then work our way to prime time, because I enjoy building suspense.

A note from the editor: I'm not entirely sure these consolation matchups are correct, but handling the Consolation playoffs has been an absolute nightmare so we're just gonna leave it and determine playoff loser by whoever has the fewest points out of the four of you. 

Bowers v. Dylan

Seeing Bowers vs Dylan in the fantasy football championship is like seeing Spotify queue up All I Want for Christmas is You. Seeing Bowers vs Dylan in the fantasy football consolation championship is like seeing Spotify queue up All I want for Christmas is You...by Michael Buble. Sure it warms your heart a little, but it's just not the same. Maybe there's some content since Bowers stole Jordan Matthews from Dylan? I don't know people, I'm trying to make this one work but it just makes me sad. And I don't want to be sad this Christmas. If I wanted to be sad for Christmas I'd go on a double date with Phil and Katie to the sex museum and then come home and watch the NFL give Man of the Year to both Marcus Peters and Michael Bennett with Jason while talking to Tom about Net Neutrality with Smiles Feldman as Evan reminds me Arielle is still a member of this league for another 3 days and Everett is not because that's just the kinda thing Evan would do and then have Harnsowl tell me this scene was the best scene in modern television, on par with Shannons feelings on the Minions movie. If I wanted to be sad I'd do those things. But now I've thought about it and so here I am deep in a pit of misery, I need to smile, Dylan please distract me and tell me who wins this matchup.

I know things didn't work out for Bowers this year, but I think he put together a really good team 🙂. He had some tough luck, but we all had fun and enjoyed each other's company, and that's what really matters 🙂. As for this game, I think my team of Jord's probably won't score too much, so I'd go with Bowers, but really, just getting to this point makes us all winners 🙂. Happy Holidays everyone!

Dear God no.

Samantha vs. Andy

These two duked it out all season for that Wildcard spot, only to have Harnsowl swoop in and steal it at the last second. I don't think there's much heart from either team at this point, which is a shame to see especially during this magical time of year. Perhaps tonight they will be visited by the ghosts of fantasy past, present, and future.  For Samantha I imagine that would look like Aaron Jones, Travis Kelce, and Todd Gurley (that's right folks, calling it now, next year she drafts Todd Gurley and breaks my heart) and for Andy we're looking at Julio Jones, TY Hilton, and Andrew Luck (rip).  Can one of these two find the fight in their heart to give this one last matchup everything they’ve got? I want a matchup that’s more electric than Dyker Heights or whatever that thing in Brooklyn is called, but I fear we’re only gonna get Christmas on the Mountain in this matchup.  Can you find it in your heart people? Do it for Tiny Tim.  Speaking of Tim, Dylan, who’s gonna win this?

I expect Mas to continue her impressive run. 2nd in Best Platonic Couple, tied 2nd for Chat MVP (a true miscarriage of justice as Phil won the award despite not being in the chat), roots for the 2nd best baseball team in New York, had the 2nd most successful fantasy football team of the Wettdgje household, was the 2nd banker to join the league, works in the 2nd largest profession block in the league (bankers, behind lawyers), and this week, she'll come in 2nd place in this matchup. Andy comes away with the victory.

Arielle v. Nico

"O man woodnt it b so funni if Will has 2 pay Arielle?" Sure, if you enjoy laughing at the fact that Nico got bumped out of the playoffs by Evan, then I guess continue to yuck it up about him potentially missing out on another $50. It's not like the man's home was ravaged by a hurricane a couple months ago, let's instead think about how funny it would be in 6 months when I Venmo Arielle/speak to her for the last time in my life. You're all monsters. Like the monsters Nico has drummed up for us in our spectacular D&D campaign. Because Nico is the best. I hope Santa brings him, Karla, and Nicole (yeah his dog is named Nicole and his name is Nico shut up don't judge him he adopted the dog and she already had a name. That's now twice you were a jerk to Nico in this write up alone. you owe him an apology) nothing but happiness this holiday. This matchup should be a blow out and your hopes for any lols will deflate quicker than Phils Christmas boner when he realizes despite buying the underwear the instagram thot promoted, Katie's instagram fittness (that’s not a typo, she spells it with 2 t’s) ass goals failed to make her booty look anything like Sarah Termini's or whatever that girl with the big donk is named.  Dylan, who u got?

This one is for the Loser's Bracket Championship. So whoever wins it is the best loser. We live in a world where Blake Bortles, the biggest loser QB in the world, is destroying NFL teams. Arielle had the worst team in the league this year, and her conduct has been so bad that it's led one commissioner to say, "Ariellle is out" and to angrily rebuke anyone who says otherwise (although I've enjoyed her recent resurgence). It's only natural that she'd find a way to be the best loser in the league and pick up the victory.

Evan v Harnsowl

O wow oooo wee this is it folks, the matchup of the week, the creme of the crop, the one and only RUBHUB MASTURBATION BOWL. A matchup that literally means nothing other than bragging rights, these two undeserving, ungrateful playoff teams deserve to play each other back and forth until the end of time. I award neither of you any points, and may god have mercy on your souls for taking a playoff spot from Nico and losing week 1 of the playoffs. Watching this matchup is gonna feel a lot like watching A Christmas Story Live! on Fox. You don't know who the hell gave this greenlight, or why they did it in the first place, but this is a flaming hot dumpster fee. And not the kind of dumpster fire where it's so fun you can't help but watch, nah this is a smoky smelly dumpster fire that the hobos use to keep themselves warm because they slipped up and became an alcoholic and their ultra Christian families abandoned them so now they all have is the clothes on their back and this dumpster fire to keep them warm this Christmas. In other words, it's just kind of sad. But hey remember this is the rubhub masturbation bowl so log on to rubhub and use coupon codes HonkIfUrHarny or SevenMinutesInHEvan for 15% off your first month (code depends on the winner).  Dylan, what do you think?

Hold on, I have no inspiration at all for this one. We might need to send this one to a special guest picker. I've got legit nothing

There you have it folks, you suck.

Phil v. Walsh

I've got to be honest folks this matchup doesn't tickle my pickle in any way/shape/form. Remember when you were a kid in elementary school on December 23rd? Lunchtime comes and you and the squad are talking about how excited you are to get presents, and little Ben Schwartz chimes in about how tonight is the 8th night of Hanukkah which means he's getting something really good cause his parents save the best present for last! There's no malicious intent, no anti-semiticism, but Ben frankly no one gives a damn. When the break ends I'll be more than happy to hear how awesome it was when you spun your magical Hebrew top for golden coins, but when Christmas is around the corner I can't be bothered. Anyway, this matchup feels a lot like that. I guess there's some excitement that Phil might win money for the first time in 5 years, but at the end of the day I don't really care. We now turn to Dylan Feldman live in the NFL Studio, Dylan, who you got?

Well Will, it's gonna be a great one this weekend, right Shannon *laughs for no particular reason*. Congratulations to Primo Content for amking it this far, but it ends today. Walsh has Lamar Miller out of *Warren Sapp off camera "Merry Christmas baby, here's a dildo... what? oh sorry, THE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*, and he has a great matchup this week against a Steelers team that will have trouble bouncing back after last week's loss. Phil is also relying on Leonard Fournette, but can he stay healthy? This is a guy who quit on his team before their bowl game last year, so we know he's not clutch. Walsh's team has heart, and that's what you need to win in the loser's bracket in the NATIONAL! FANTASY! FOOTBALL league. Back to you Boom.

Will vs. Jason

I wrote this matchup last, and now I know that I ordered it correctly because that handy dandy image I found this morning says to go I, A, O.  But you didn’t come here for Grammar Memes, you came here because this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  Let’s face it folks, no matter what happens here we’re all winners.  If this matchup tells us anything, it’s that irrational love for players is the key ingredient to making the playoffs.  I’ve got nothing else to say, so instead I’ll sing you a song. On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me.....

Twelve Nick Foles ducking

Eleven Jimmies ‘gramming

Ten Butkers a-kicking,

Nine Collins dancing,

Eight JuJus a-biking,

Seven Stefons a-digging,

Six Brandins a-cooking,

Five GOUUUUULDEN ROBBIES,

Four calling McCaffs,

Three Jared Goffs,

Two Robert Woods,

And a Todd Gurley for MVP.

That’s it from me folks. Happy Holidays, remember to have your pets spayed or neutered, Phil please use a condom tonight.  I’ll pass it off to our expert analyst Dylan.  Andylstan, what are we looking at here?

Thanks Boom. This is, of course, one of the toughest picks we've ever had to make, as both of these teams have looked truly dominant at times this year but also have had issues with injuries and seemingly some bad JuJu. To figure out the winner, we've had to develop a new algorithm that we call FORT MINOR, which stands for Final Odds Respective Teams are Memorialized Is Not Overly Rigorous. It is determined by a number of factors, weighted by their importance.

Luck (10%) - Marquise Goodwin was on another team 3 weeks ago, playing uninspired football. Now, he has no dad, no son, and he's putting up fantasy football numbers like he's Julio Jones. Nobody could have guessed Meanwhile, Sean McVay would be this good, and that's been huge for Willl this season. Jason's caught a good break in this category, but Will dominates this one. *Will - 8% Jason - 2%* Skill (20%) - Jason managed to get through the year with largely his original team. One could argue that having a better draft is more skillful. Will, on the other hand, put together a couple of blockbusters to keep his team at the top of the league. He has the slight edge here, thanks to his acquisition of Brandin Cooks (coming off of a very good week) and because of the work he did to win the toughest division in the league. *Will - 11% Jason - 9%* Concentrated Power of Will (15%) - It's in the name. Kudos to Jason, as he did show a ton of grit and determination this year, but there's no way he touches Will in his own category. *Will - 12% Jason - 3%* Pleasure (5%) - I actually think nobody got more joy out of this fantasy football season than Jason. His unbridled enthusiasm for Carson Wentz's breakout year stands apart from the rest of the league. Sure, Will has enjoyed Stefon Diggs, but he has players like that every year. Jason has been able to ride the Wentz Wagon to victory here. *Will - 1% Jason - 4% Pain (50%) - Here's where things get interesting. It comes down to a debate we have constantly in sports. LeBron or Jordan? Clemens or Pedro? Rice or Moss? How do you compare someone with a sustained run of excellence to someone whose peak has never been matched? Will clearly defeated Jason here for the first 13 weeks of the season. You would think that would make him the clear winner. We forget now, but the Dalvin Cook injury was devestating, and Allen "15 TD's" Robinson has unfairly missed out on this great Jaguars season. But they say you could hear Jason heart breaking from halfway around the world when Carson Wentz went down. In the end, that peak is too high to ignore. *Will - 20% Jason - 30%* Reasons to Remember the Name *Will - 52% Jason - 48%* And there you have it folks. FORT MINOR has determined that Will has a 52% chance of winning this week. So, by the slightest of margins, we're predicting that the Blastoise Brigade comes away with the title in a thrilling matchup. Either way, expect a great week of fantasy football. Back to you Boom, and enjoy the holidays everyone!