#and then it's just a Deaf person having fun not doing anything educational

[wheelie-sick]

I hate that every video of Deaf people just goofing around somehow gets twisted into an educational video by hearing people for hearing people. can you guys go 5 seconds without treating us like bugs under a microscope?

[dope-trope-105]

I’ll do anything.

Modern Aegon II Targaryen x reader

A/N: Reader is a pretty mellowed out person, and she’s a little bit of a crybaby. She’s hinted to have dark hair and brown eyes. 

Summary: Aegon has been in love with you since he met you three months ago, but you think he only wants to fuck you, and you don’t want another non-emotional sexual partner. So you refuse to accept his advances, no matter how much he tries. Until he’s just so desperate one day.

Warings: hungover Aegon, mentions of addiction, mentions of death, angst

Word count: 2.6k

You met Aegon one day when you had come out for lunch alone, wanting to enjoy the sun, and having found neither of your friends available, you ventured out on your own. You weren’t dressed very fancy or anything, just a light green dress, which reached down to your ankles, and had thin straps, allowing a little cleavage to show with transparent heels and simple jewellery, letting your hair flow behind you, open. You only carried a medium sized purse, also transparent and sunglasses, which currently rested at the top of your head as you sipped on some trashy caffeinated drink that you spent a little too much on to waste. “Vanilla-matcha” sounded much better than it tasted. You were happy it matched your dress, but that was the extent of your likeness to her drink. 

“You seem to regret your choice of food,” came Aegon’s smooth voice. You smiled at his sudden interruption of your empty thoughts.

“You got me there,” you sighed, the smile audible in your voice.

“Anybody sitting here,” he asked, long ring clad fingers running over the chair. You shook your head, gesturing for him to sit down. 

“Why would you ever order matcha?” he asked, leaning both his elbows on the table, interlocking his fingers as he rested his chin upon them. 

“It matched my dress” you shrugged, Aegon’s eyes crinkling with a complete smile at your simple answer. 

“Beautiful dress to waste on an afternoon alone,” he said. You mimicked his position.

“I’m not trying to hookup, you know,” you said, sensing his intentions. You didn’t hate him for it, you just didn’t want to get involved in meaningless sex anymore. 

“Oh my, in that case, I wouldn’t dare,” he said, making you laugh.

You spent the entire day talking with Aegon, and allowed him to show you around in the evening as well. Around 11 pm, you asked him to let you go. Aegon hated leaving you, but drove you home nonetheless. You texted each other the entire night after that. Soon Aegon replaced your friends at lunchtimes quite often. Then he started coming over for dinner as well. He even began driving you to college as well.

“I have a driver, Aegon, and I can drive on the off-chance he’s not available,” you would say, and he would turn a deaf ear to you, refusing to leave you alone. 

Yet you had made it clear he wasn’t going to get you to sleep with him. At first Aegon’s ego was bruised. He didn’t understand why you wouldn’t. Why you’d rather stay at home and study or read than go out and party, why you wouldn’t fuck around. He stalked you socials, but there wasn’t much to stalk. Your twitter was simply educational, with a spritz of news on your favourite rapper, you instagram had only six or seven posts, two of which weren’t even your own face. Your highlights were a slight glimpse of your life, your stories were, more often than not, the things around you, not you. He was thankful for your tiktok. Though still rarely, you would post real life videos of yourself, usually with friends, you would giggle at their jokes, or smile at the phone camera before posing for something on some other camera. Your life was completely devoid of what he considered fun, sex, drugs, late night parties. 

So a day or two later, he didn’t text her back, a single text from you had him running to your house. “Guess you realised I’m not gonna sleep with you,” you wrote. And he swore he lost it that day. After that, he wouldn’t let a day go by when he wouldn’t see you. He hung out with you at cafe’s, drove you to your classes, took you to the beach, and took you to dinner. But dinner was as late as you let it go, and even then your drinks were barely alcoholic. Aegon’s life was obvious to you, but he’d managed to keep the drugs part hidden for the longest time. He fucked around, but he began to notice the pattern, every single girl looked like you, he would moan your name in his drugged up, drunken haze, the other girls moaned someone else’s name as well, usually. But it wasn’t fulfilling. 

It was three months since you met when one night, it just didn’t do for him. The drugs that gave him a rush of sex today just didn’t do, the dark haired girls just didn’t do. He drove to your house, tears running down his face as knocked on your door. He banged on it for five minutes, his tears erupting into sobs by the time you finally opened the door. 

“Aegon, it’s one am what are you-” you said, completely stopping as you heard his cries. “What happened, what’s wrong,” you asked, suddenly panicked as you wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head to your chest, arms tight around him as he sobbed into you. 

“They’re not enough,” he cried, his words slurred as his body heaved, his sobs only growing louder. You were panicking, you were scared. 

“What’s not enough, Aegon please, don’t cry, I’m right here with you, tell me what’s wrong. Talk to me,” you said, concern latched onto your voice as his arms finally wrapped around you, pulling you so close you could barely breathe. 

“They’re not you,” he said, bringing his red-rimmed eyes up to your face. 

“It’s, I- I don’t, I don’t understand Aegon,” you stammered, eyebrows furrowed. He had stopped sobbing, reduced to sniffling. “Come on, sit down, I’ll make you some tea, we’ll talk then,” you said, slowly unwrapping his arms from your waist. 

“NO” he screamed. Arms wound tighter than before as he hid his head into the crook of your neck. 

“Alright, just come sit with me,” you said, moving to bring him inside so you could close the door. You somehow struggled and walked to your couch. “Aegon, please, sit down, I won’t go anywhere,” you said, your voice so sweet he finally listened to you. 

He sat down on the sofa, you went and quickly got him some water. “Drink,” you asked, handing out the glass. When he made no movement, eyes fixated on the coffee table, you grabbed his arm and made him hold the glass, and then he drank. “Do you want me to make you something to eat,” you asked. “Just stay with me,” he begged. The desperation in his voice cracked your heart. You grabbed the couch blanket and sat down next to him, stilling your movements when he laid his head into your lap. You sighed, and put the blanket over his form. 

“You drink too much Aegon,” you said after a while, leaning back into the sofa as you softly brushed his hair with your fingers. “Even I have gotten blackout drunk sometimes, it’s never like this,” you spoke, knowing he had already fallen fast asleep as his breathing steadied. The silence was broken by his phone vibrating in his pocket. You grabbed it to silence it, not wanting to wake him. The screen flashed a man with similar blonde hair as his, only straighter and longer. He was tall, and a scowl painted his sharp features as Aegon rested his arm around his shoulders. “Aemond,” read the caller ID. Aegon had told you about his family. You picked up, “Aegon I’m tired of you coke induced runs around town. Where the fuck are you?” came an angry voice. “Hey Aemond, it’s Y/n, did you say coke?” you asked, taken aback. You had met Aegon’s siblings one time. “Y/n?” he asked, ignoring your question. “Yeah, he uh, he showed up at my door, crying. He kept saying it wasn’t enough. I didn’t understand. He’s fallen asleep now, do you want me to wake him?” you asked, hoping he’d say no. You felt so horrible, seeing him like that. Sleep would do him some good. “Uh yeah, I said coke. His supply must’ve run out, do you mind keeping him there for the night or should I pick him up?” Aemond asked. “You sound exhausted, and he didn’t seem so good. Don’t worry, I’ll drive him to you tomorrow, get some rest,” you said. “Thank you so much,” he said before hanging up, the relief evident in his voice. But your eyes scanned over Aegon’s frame, your fingers began to run through his soft hair again as you grew sad. You did grow to love Aegon over the last three months. But things like? Things like this was why you refused to make a connection with him. 

You had fallen asleep like that, your fingers in his hair, your back leaning against the soft cushions on the sofa. Though the sleep wasn’t your best. Your alarm rang around eight am, which you quickly turned off. Aegon stirred. But your legs were sore, you needed to stretch them. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You grabbed one of the cushions and slowly moved from under his head, replacing yourself with a pillow. You readjusted the blanket to completely cover his sleeping form and then went back to your room. You freshened up, changed into your workout clothes and went to the gym. Your workout lasted around an hour and a half. You came back expecting Aegon to still be asleep. He was. You showered, put on your black tank top and plaid pyjamas again, wanting to feel cosy. You reheated some food, finished it, and then finally decided to wake Aegon up. 

“Hey Aeg, wake up,” you said, gently shaking his body. He woke up after a few tries, looking very sick. “Come on, I’ve got a spare toothbrush you can use,” you said, your voice holding a tone of gentleness. He looked so out of it. You grabbed his arm, ushering him to get up. He finally did. 

You managed to get him to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. You sat on the bed, picking at your lips with worry as your leg bounced up and down. Every few moments, you would hear a groan or something from the bathroom. It must’ve been twenty minutes when he finally came out. He’d gotten rid of his jacket and boots, now only wearing loosely fitted dark jeans and a crinkled black t-shirt. He’d gotten rid of most of his jewellery as well, only wearing a necklace. His hair seemed completely dishevelled, and he swung on his feet, still hungover. His eyes had bags under them, he just looked so tired, so completely done with life. You didn’t realise you had tears in your eyes until they fell. 

“Why would you do this to yourself?” you finally asked. He could hear the pain in your voice. He didn’t say anything. You sniffled, wiping the lone tear as you gazed out of the window for a moment. He didn’t dare move. “Come, I’ve got some food for you,” you said, getting up, taking him out of the room by his arm. You were walking on eggshells, he could tell. You sat him down and put a plate in front of him. It was rice with some chicken on the side. “It’s good, I promise, not too spicy,” you said, sitting down next to him. He looked at the food and then at you, a small smile was on your face but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

“Please Aegon, just eat a little bit,” you said, you was desperate. 

“I can’t,” he said, voice so low he barely heard himself. 

You huffed and grabbed the plate, mixing the chicken with the rice holding up the spoon to his mouth, eyes hopeful as he gazed at you, finally taking the bite as he watched your face slightly relax. He chewed slowly, the smooth rice going down his sore throat. He swallowed, and you held up another bite. He finished the food, bit by bit, and you patiently fed him, not showing an ounce of frustration. And then you handed him juice. “You must be dehydrated,” you said, getting up from the chair. Aegon grabbed your wrist in a weak hold, the other hand setting down the juice as he finally looked up at you, “why?” he asked. “Because you were drinking last night, and-and,” you stopped, refusing to speak further. He knew what you wanted to say but couldn’t. What was regular for him was unimaginable for you, wrong morally and lawfully. You couldn’t even say it.  

“No, I mean why are you doing this?” he asked. You sat back down. 

“What would you have me do, throw you into my car and ask you to be driven home in this state? What will you say to your parents?” you asked. He scoffed, you were so clueless. 

“They wouldn’t care,” he said, bitterness in his voice. And your concern returned. You looked down in your lap, fingers playing with your rings. 

“When you came here last night, you were crying. You said ‘It wasn’t enough.’ Did you mean-?” you looked at him again, still unwilling to say it, but he got the gist of it.  

“No, it’s not the coke I was talking about,” he said. 

“Then what Aegon, what had you so hurt?” you asked, desperate as you grabbed one of his hands in both of your own, your thumb running soft circles on the back of his hand. 

“You,” he simply said. Your movements completely ceased. 

“What does that mean?” you asked, anger evident in your voice.

“I love you,” he said. You let out an exasperated breath.

“You’re fucked up Aegon, the drugs and the alcohol have gone to your head. You need to detox,” you said. You snatched her hands away from him, tears brimming at your eyes. The last thing you wanted to do was face your own feelings.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you. I love you every time I see you. I’ve loved you every time I’m inside some random girl I don’t care about, and you love me too. You care about me,” he finished, his heart clenching as you looked away from him.

“I can’t love you Aegon,” you said, your voice cracking. 

“Why not?” he begged, so desperate he felt he might explode. 

“Look at you,” you said, sad brown eyes meeting his grey ones as your tears fell. “You’re slowly killing yourself, how could I do it?” The tears fell again, not because you didn’t love him, but because you knew you did, and because he was digging his own grave, and you couldn’t love a person who was unwilling to care about their own life.

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop everything, these were just party drugs, I don’t need them. All I want is you, just be with me and I’ll leave the drugs” he said, his heart tearing in his own chest.

“What the fuck Aegon, you can’t force me onto an ultimatum. And cocaine isn’t a fucking party drug,” you said, wanting to slap some sense into him.

“I’ll do anything,” he said, tears falling from his eyes too. “Please, I’ll do anything” he said, standing up as he grabbed you, pulling you close as he hid his face in your hair. 

“I can’t watch you kill yourself, Aegon,” you said, arms wrapping around him too. 

“I won’t baby, I won’t,” he promised. 

[ina-verse]

Introduction post

Hello there, welcome to my blog! ツ

Basics:

- My name is Ina (ee-n-uh)

- I'm 20 years old

- Starting my junior year of college in October, majoring in special education and rehabilitation of deaf and hard of hearing people

- English is not my native language, so if posts regarding my studies are confusing, it's because educational systems (curriculums, how is a certain profession organised and its theory used in practise...) are vastly different between countries, especially when talking about special education.

What is this blog?

So, for now it's a commonplace book or a digital journal made of all the things that I think would be helpful in achieving my goals. Whether it's study tips, book recommendations, music playlists, motivational mood boards, quotes, pretty pictures it can all be found here, as well as my thoughts and updates on personal challenges (study, productivity, maintaining healthy habits etc).

Honestly, not sure yet. I wanted to make a studyblr, because my first priority now and in the next few years will be getting my bachelor and masters degree, as well as finding a job in my filed. Of course none of that is possible if I don't put effort and care into other aspects of my life, so I thought why not make it a some kind of a self-care blog, but realised that I don't know what would I even post and how I would do it.

Why am I starting this blog?

Currently my life is a mess, all the bits and pieces of it are scattered around and I am trying to pick what I have, connect it into some barely functioning thing and continue on to grow from there.

I want to work on making my life more better and enjoyable, on accepting and loving myself, on growing and improving every single day.

Also I've always admired all the study blogs out there. Everyone seems so genuinely kind and willing to give out tips and hacks about anything. I have always wanted to be a part of such community, thinking that this will help me stay disciplined and consistent with my work.

Things I wanna work on (I'll probably make separate post for this):

- self-discipline

- incorporating healthier habits into my everyday life (there will also be separate post for this)

- increasing productivity not just regarding my studies

- reading more books (for enjoyment)

- getting out of the comfort zone, being more spontaneous, making memories (with friends and alone), doing things just for the hell fun of it

- learning more skills/languages (for now I want to become fluent in my third language - French, as for skills I would love to enroll in a self-defence or dance class or both)

- getting work experience, I would love to and have to volunteer with organisations from my field in order to have something on my work resume besides a degree and get familiar with my line of future profession

- enjoying my youth, the moments I'm living in right now, being more thankful for everything that i have

...

Interests:

Besides my studies and future line of work

- reading (romance novels, poetry and classics)

- the biggest Hunger games and Suzane Collins fan, everlark stan for life

- listening to music (currently favourite Hozier, the Killers, James Arthur, Lord Huron, Kacey Musgraves, my native pop and folk music) while imagining fake scenarios

- watching TV shows (b99, himym, the good place, the new girl, friends, bridgerton and currently favourite my lady jane)

- now realising that I really need to get into more things besides media consumption

Study, life and aesthetic blogs that I admire and that inspire me:

* @studyblrmasterposts

* @studyblr

* @emmastudies

* @peachblossomstudy

* @starrystvdy

* @helenstudies

* @study-core-101

* @zzzzzestforlife

* @luciaslifesblog

* @malusokay

* @flowerhope

* @agirlwithglam

These are just some of them, if you are also a new studyblr don't hesitate to reach out to me I'd love to be mutuals

I'm still not sure about the main structure of this blog I guess in the near future I'll be posting daily updates as a part of some challenge (100 days of productivity or 30 days of discipline). I'll see so just bare with me 😅

Tags: I'll add as I create them on the go

Purple Van Gogh header is from @vysleix and pastel pink ribbons are from @saradika-graphics

If you made it to here and followed me know that I appreciate you and you have just become my beloved tumblrarian/mutual 🤍😌😘

date of the first intro post: 8th of September 2024.

[pbandjesse]

I am very tired. So I did not get anything accomplished after work today. I don't feel that bad about it but I really hope that tomorrow I can get more done and I won't be as tired because it did not feel very good to be so exhausted.

But it was a really nice day and I got to spend time outside and that was really beautiful. And it wasn't even that I slept poorly last night I actually went to bed at a decent time and I woke up when I was supposed to but I just felt so exhausted. I got dressed and I didn't like my outfit so I changed and I was still pretty uncomfortable. My hair felt really dry. It still feels dry honestly. And driving to work was really tough. James had packed me a sandwich so I ate that while I was driving and tried to just keep it together.

I got to camp around 8:00 and drove to all my different sites to make sure that everything was where we're supposed to be. And then I started waiting for parents to arrive. They were supposed to be there between 8:30 and 9:30. But there was some typo or miscommunication and by 9:00 I had one adult and it was just a chaperone and not one of my parent volunteers. I was very stressed out.

The school came at 9:45 when they were supposed to but so did most of the chaperones. And it was just really stressful. Thankfully Elizabeth it wasn't teaching in the first rotation for the other schools field trip so she was able to come over and help me get them oriented and then for the first rotation I did a little intro for painting and for tools. Just to help them out because both of those volunteers were very stressed.

But after that my stress really went away. The kids were super sweet and they seem like they were having a super fun time. I had to run around kind of like a crazy person making sure that everything was settled. Because somebody ran out of material and there was some confusion but everything works great. And I ended up just having some really nice conversations with some of the teachers and parents and it was a really nice day.

After the second program I was able to sit down for a little while and work on some knitting that I had that I wanted to finish. I have decided that I am not tracking the rain anymore this year. Jess also stopped her tracking blanket because the yarn I used is just way too hard to work with. So I have a few months done and I still think it's a really cool piece even if it's not the full year.

I'll still find something to do with the yarn. Just using it on the loom it was too fragile. Maybe I'll try actually crocheting it and see what happens.

I let the groups know when to leave for lunch and everyone got over there really fast I was surprised. And then I ate my lunch in the kitchen while I watched everyone and some of the kids ran outside. One little girl wanted me to be her best friend. She had blue hair and I have blue green hair so she kept trying to involve me in their games. She invited me to come play tag which was very cute but I told her I do not run. And she said oh you don't have to run! But I did not want to play. It was very cute that she invited me though.

After lunch they had two more rotations and everything seemed to go great. I ended up sitting and talking to the parent who was leading signs and symbols and she's a teacher and a deaf educator. So we had this lovely conversation about the ways I want to scaffold the program and talk about Native American sign language and the updates I want to make and she really thought that some of them were excellent ideas. Which made me feel very positive.

Which then led me to find the time to sit and finally do talk to text to write down all of my ideas for the programs and the way I want to change them. I want to make something a little bit more formal and more like a PowerPoint with examples or at least a document with examples but at least now I have all of the ideas out and I can edit them. I also sat down and figured out a modified schedule where instead of having five groups doing five rotations we have four groups with four rotations and the first rotation I am leading a brush making program for the entirety of the group because then if the group is very late we can cut that one without there being any issue. And I think while it would make the groups larger it would solve a lot of our problems for the way that the schools come in. And it would take away a lot of my stress because it would give us more time to get everyone else set up if needed.

It also would give them just a cool take-home and since we would all be doing it as a group first it could then be used at the other sites specifically when they're using natural pigments. And I just think that that would be a really cool piece to include.

After the last program everyone came back to the lodge and I asked the kids a few questions and they did pretty good. And then because I knew they had to get right on the bus I wasn't going to do my whole spiel so I instead asked if they could all take their chairs outside to help me stack them. And you should have seen some of the parents faces. They were very expressive and very panicked. But the kids were so excited to help and the chairs are aluminum so it was not a big deal it just sounds really loud. And so they carried all 75 chairs outside and got them stacked up and then I didn't have to worry about it. Because that is my least favorite part because while the chairs are not heavy they don't stack super well to be carried. Specifically by one person. And I wanted to be done as fast as possible.

I waved everyone off and told them all goodbye and thank you so much for coming and then the bus was gone. I worked on packing up my car with all the stuff from the hacienda and then Bonnie was there to start cleaning.

I asked if she wanted me to fold the tables away too so I stayed with her for a bit All we did that and just talked to her. She's a really nice lady. She didn't have her dog with her today though which I was a little disappointed about. I love buddy but it's fine I understand.

Then I was off to the art building to drop everything off. And then continued on to get everything else from the woodlands village. I do not like driving on that really thick gravel that's over there. I am convinced it's going to pop my tires somehow but all the construction vehicles go back there and it seems fine. Although I do keep finding big old nails on the ground by the hacienda and picking those up. Thankfully no one has gotten any flat tires yet but it is a concern.

It took me a little while to get everything in the car and then I brought everything back up to the art building and packed it away. And made sure all the walkies were plugged in and ready. I do seem to be missing one walkie. I really hope a parent did not take it home with them but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

And then I went down to the office and checked in with Elizabeth and she said that if I was done to go over the lodge to help put chairs away with everyone else.

But when I got there no one else was there. Well someone was there. His name is Jeff and he works with Bonnie. He has a prosthetic leg and I desperately wanted to ask him about it. And he did give me an opportunity to and so I got to tell him about my dad and he told me that friend of his got a prosthetic when he was 16 and then when he was 70 the socket came off and he fell down and broke his hip! So he told me to warn my dad about that. Make sure that the fit is correct so that you don't fall down. He was a really nice guy.

And then everyone else was there and we got all the chairs away very quickly. We took the trash out and I get very frustrated at camp when communication isn't clear. I just wanted to know if I could go home. I am absolutely willing to stay as late as you need as long as I have something to do. But this amorphous like sitting around waiting for instructions drives me crazy. And I want to leave immediately if you have nothing for me to do I don't want to sit around I have a long drive home. it makes me very annoyed. And it has the entire time I've worked there. It's why the end of the day always stress me out so bad because I didn't know when I was allowed to leave because it was never clear about when my work was done. So I asked Heather and she said that I could leave and then they Dachelle said I can leave but I wanted to wait till Elizabeth said that everything was done. So I kept popping back into the office and going to my car and then coming back up but eventually everyone was like go Jesse get out of here. So I did.

I was going to stop at the store because I need new eyeliner but I got so tired again all of a sudden. I'm fine when I'm moving but as soon as I stop my brain is just like time to sleep. But I had a half an hour drive home so I kept it together best I could. Sang along to music. And let James know.

When I got home I parked and I brought my stuff inside. Sweetp seemed very excited to see me. I would take a shower and put on my flannel and get in bed.

And once James let me know that they were at the grocery store I fell asleep. And I slept until around 5:30. When wind blew against the back door and made a banging sound and startled to me. And I was a little disoriented but it was a good nap and eventually I would wake up enough. James made me a falafel salad which was really good but would have improved with bread. And I was in a little bit of a weird mood for a while but eventually the food made me feel better and I wasn't being as much of a birch to James.

Me and James just spent the rest of the night on the couch together. They are playing the new Zelda game and I'm just watching tik toks and crying about people winning music competitions. And laughing entirely too hard at comedy videos. Stand up. I used to love stand up so much and I don't really watch long form stand up anymore but I love seeing clips of it on TikTok.

Now I want to do my lotions to my face and pick an outfit for tomorrow because I don't think I like the one that I had planned. And then I went to go to sleep. Because hopefully I will feel more like a person tomorrow. I'm at the museum and I'm really looking forward to it and I hope that the school is really good and that whatever I'm doing is excellent. I don't remember what I'm doing tomorrow but that's fine. And then maybe tomorrow I will actually get my market stuff ready for Saturday. Fingers crossed.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. And take care of each other. Good night everybody. Until next time!

[ladyblueberrymuffin]

"A product of it's time" is absolutely used as justification as a piece of media, and you know what? People who use it as a condemnation are super attractive and awesome.

Want to talk about functionally conservative arguments?

This is from kirkcenter.org, a website dedicated to Russel T. Kirk, one of the fathers of modern conservatism:

Conservatives sense that modern people are dwarfs on the shoulders of giants, able to see farther than their ancestors only because of the great stature of those who have preceded us in time. Therefore conservatives very often emphasize the importance of prescription—that is, of things established by immemorial usage, so that the mind of man runneth not to the contrary.

Glorification of the past is a conservative ideal. To put the past on a pedestal, to make it unspeakable to ridicule it, lest you be branded an ignorant, a boor, a kid who slept through English class, is in line with conservative ideals. It's also elitist. Putting yourself above your fellow people due to your education.

It's gross. And it's hypocritical, because while preaching about engaging with a work of media on a deeper level, you are refusing to engage with their grievances on a deeper level. It's also hypocritical because we all laughed at the "We both laughed at our son's big balls" book. Because it is trash. I could absolutely sit here and find things that could be good about it, and I could empathize with the plight of a creator just trying to do their best to tell a story, but at a certain point it would be disingenuous of me to pretend I don't think it's trashy. I think a lot of this dispassionate media analysis they teach in lit class is disingenuous, and hypocritical, because your opinion will slip into it whether you like it or not.

I don't like centrist media analysts. People who can look at Steve Ditko's Ayn Randian Objectivist political cartoons without gagging, if anything they might give a hearty chuckle at the audacity and the artistry with which the shitty message was delivered.

Please don't fall for this false dichotomy.

I see you, I know you are not stupid, I know you have considered the context, the history, the different ideas that the work presents, and what effect these ideas have on the world at large, because you know stories don't exist in a vacuum, and a repeated idea prevalent across multiple works of fiction all saying the same thing will shape the way society thinks of people, or groups, or ideas, and so you've made an informed decision that maybe you should discourage X trope from being used. You can analyze a racist piece of work, AND condemn it. Part of why we analyze it is so that we are able to see how those ideas shaped our pop culture, and how we can remedy it.

You should, because stories don't just exist in a vacuum, and it's a privilege of yours that you can watch it without feeling uncomfortable, because it is not about you.

We are not machines, we are not literature professors, you are allowed to just say you think something is bad. And making fun of something and discouraging something is not censorship, you know this, you've dealt with edgy right-wing comedians.

There are works of media that I think get way more hate and way more accusations of being problematic than they deserve. But I also do want to engage with the criticisms, because while some are plain wrong, or misunderstanding the text, a lot of the criticisms carry a lot of truth in them, and recognizing that keeps me humble, and understand that we are all capable of writing something tone deaf or gross, without even realizing it. But I also still disagree, because there are a lot of positive things that those criticisms ignore, and a lot of them also are at odds with my personal belief that there are things in books that are hot that would be gross in real life. And there is a lot of cultural and social context as to why women might be drawn to like a hundred year-old vampire. Does that make the trope good? Do the younger generations 'not get it'? Or are they just better at communicating the need we didn't know how to communicate, so we communicated it in a messy way with the hundred year-old vampire? Does mocking this trope show a blatant lack of empathy of women suffering under the patriarchy, who deal with their trauma in ways that are not clean and perfect?

I don't know! I'm giving you the coward's answer today. I don't fucking know. But I'm upset whenever someone tells you you are being childish and not a real critic for just being honest and in touch with your feelings. You should engage with other opinions, but also please keep in mind not all of those opinions are harmless. If they were, we would be welcoming bigots with open arms here.

Likewise, I don't think every form of criticism is valid. There's a lot of really snarky, self-congratulatory, angry people out there, and this doesn't just apply to The Last Jedi haters, you can be capable of this tunnel vision too. I can be.

It's important to remember that we are not flawless, and that means you should be patient and forgiving with yourself, and just let yourself be human, but it also means that you should be weary you don't become unfair and don't fall into traps many people have fallen into before you.

You're not a bad person for liking a problematic piece of media, while recognizing it's problematic... but that also depends on HOW problematic that piece of media is, and what are your reasons for liking it, and how you defend it.

"this work is problematic because of how it handles [subject]": reasonable premise for media criticism

"this work is problematic because it depicts [subject]": do not pass go do not collect $200 this is, as a general rule, a functionally reactionary and conservative argument

[pixelsandpins]

Cultural Conservatism and the Collapse of Media Critique

Last week, the next installment in the Dragon Age franchise released, Dragon Age: The Veilguard. I'm a huge fan of the series and the studio that makes the franchise. Now the video game community, as a whole, has a really high capacity for what really comes down to just…idiocy, honestly. It's been a problem pretty much forever, I'm sure, and just got worse with the advent of Web 2.0. Any given sub-community, however, is a reflection of a larger cultural zeitgeist, though. And one of the current cultural boogeyman are LGBTQ+ people, like myself. Cultural conservatism is circling back around from the significant progress made through the 2000s to demonize literally any kind of attempt at mirroring real life diversity in media. Sexuality and gender and race and religion are suddenly political and no one wants "politics" in their military shooter.

I’ve literally seen the comment “I play games to have fun, not be educated” happen on TikTok discussions of Veilguard, and this is not the first time. It’s a phrase or construction I’ve seen before in a reference to scene or sections of game that dare to vaguely touch on real life social issues around marginalized groups. We have a group of people who refuse to be socially or intellectually challenged. This is made more ridiculous by the fact that so much of what they find “challenging” is milquetoast, at best. Anti-corporate or anti-establishment revolutionary messaging is met with acclaim because it makes them feel rebellious and edgy. But the mere presence of characters using ASL to talk to their deaf friend is a bridge too far. Dragon Age: The Veilguard hasn't escaped this. In this case, though, it's sort of grimly funny because Dragon Age, as a series, has always been more progressive in terms of how it handles relationships and personal identity. Is it always nice and smooth? No, of course not, but the ethos has always been there. So there's now a contingent of self-professed gamers who are suddenly upset that a game series that has always had gay people…continues to have gay people in the new game. A game series that had a trans character in its previous installment a decade ago now gives the player the option of adding more gender qualifiers to their player avatar. A whole group of people baffled why a series that's always had a very queer audience would choose to include queer themes. Like they’ve totally forgotten the influence of capitalism and that queer people have money. It's a very obvious case of "culture war" ideologies overtaking good sense. And while this isn't the first time this has ever happened by a long shot, and it won’t be the last, this particular game has been one of the starker lightning rods for this vitriol. This is already annoying and frustrating on the surface level. If we tell commercial art that it's simply not allowed to ever explore anything even slightly outside the white cis-het norm ever, we're stagnating art as a whole. How dare we ask the general public to empathize or think about experiences outside their own for even a moment. More than that, though, it makes it impossible to actually discuss the game. When consuming a review or discussion video, it's always wise to have an understanding of where that reviewer is coming from. Do they normally even play RPGs, for example. Now, you also have to determine if they're a homophobe or use the words "woke" or "DEI" unironically. From a gaming cultural perspective, there’s become this stark divide. Where instead of everyone being able to respectfully (as much as gamers can) disagree or critique from a place of good faith, there's a strong undercurrent of "us vs them." That you have to show a certain loyalty to this game just so the assholes don't “win” this sort of fake argument. It’s not logical, by any means, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an experienced reality. And the lovers of the game aren't the ones who created that feeling, but rather people who wouldn't have enjoyed or played it to begin with. People who literally buy the game then return it within the window on Steam JUST to have the ability to bomb it with poor reviews. Looking down from the top, it's patently absurd. And it's destroying the ability to communicate about commercial art in an intelligent way.

[liesmyth]

do you have any book recommendations? anything like the locked tomb or just fantasy/science fiction in general? :)

Hi anon I LOVE GIVING BOOK RECS!

Unfortunately I haven’t found anything quite like TLT, but when you break it into main themes some other series come close. So, if you liked The Locked Tomb for…

Morally ambiguous lesbians and oppressive empires? Try The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson. I love Baru as a character and I love and what the book does with themes of cultural assimilation and how the road to a righteous goal is paved with moral compromises until you’re not sure you’re still on the right path. Content warning for institutional homophobia, which affects the plot and the main character. It’s never gratuitous, but it’s pretty much the opposite of TLT under that point of view so heads up.

Unique worldbuilding, queer characters, distinctive sense of place in a land that was once Earth? Try The Fifth Season by NK Jemisin. This isn’t to everybody’s tastes (usually people love it or hate it) but it does some VERY cool things with scifi and deservedly won a Hugo.

Intricate worldbuilding, necromancy, gothic vibes? Try The Bone Orchard by Sara Mueller. This definitely hits the same “confused and confusing female main character who doesn’t know her own mind” vibes as HtN, which can be good or bad depending on your tastes, but the necromancy bits are fantastic.

Oppressive planetary empires and queer characters? Try A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine. This too is about cultural assimilation and has a main murder mystery plot. Space opera about a young diplomat in a precarious position who is sort of sharing her mind space with someone else. Bonus: fun scifi worldbuilding based on some lesser-known historical empires.

Other SFF I read or reread in 2022

City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett for worldbuilding, shady empires, female MC, urban fantasy vibes with a strong sense of place and a murder mystery thrown in for flavour.

Deeplight by Frances Hardinge. YA fantasy with horror vibes that I very much enjoyed as an adult not usually keen on YA. There are scary eldritch gods, toxic relationships with a hopeful ending, excellent fantasy worldbuilding, a really solid sense of civilization (especially the Deaf culture of the divers that is really interwoven in the setting). Sea monsters! Secrets! Street urchins! This is one of my all-time favourites.

The Scholomance series by Naomi Novik, starting with A Deadly Education; the third book came out two weeks after Nona and it gave me emotional whiplash, because (spoiler!) the angry goth girl gets to be happy in this one! YA, very vivid very fun worldbuilding, spunky teenage heroine with a cynical disposition and death powers.

Obligatory rec for Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell just because it’s one of those books that make me feel like I’m a richer person for having read them. It’s an impressive alternate history fantasy, the writing is masterful, the fae villain is unsettling and inhumanly evil, the mundane villains (pettiness, spite, centuries-old institutions) provide excellent dramatic irony. Everyone is insufferable in a petty way that’s also endlessly entertaining, and the two titular characters are absolutely obsessed with each other. The prose is a pastiche and tremendously well written. My only nitpick is that there are way too many men. I get why, given the setting the premise and the characters, and I loved the book, but since this rec originated with an ask about TLT I feel like I have to clarify that the gender ratio is pretty much the polar opposite.

My Heart Is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones if you like spunky teenage girl protagonists, poetically described gore, critique of colonialism and indigenous displacement. This is a horror thriller not a sff, sent in the contemporary US, and it’s basically a love letter to the horror movie genre + Native American folk legends. Reccing it anyway because YMMV but to to me it really hit some of the spots that HtN does. (Content warning for off-screen CSA)

The Gone World by Tom Sweterlitsch. Speculative fiction thriller, lots of jumping between alternate timelines and wondering what exactly is going on. It’s not flawless but it’s unabashedly weird in a very fun, very unique way that I really appreciated.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng. Unique worldbuilding, distinct narrative voices, gothic vibes, weird religious imagery. Fantasy historical fiction about cruel inhuman fae, the worldbuilding is brilliant and very vivid (and what an aesthetic it is!), the story is fucked up in a delicious way, and the prose is a delightful Brontë pastiche. Content warnings for consensual sibling incest and Christian missionaries on a mission of “civilization” through faith (it’s not portrayed in a positive way but the colonialism is definitely there).

[I only flagged content warnings that aren't canon-typical for TLT, but definitely more apply. If you need clarification on a specific book HMU]

[writingwithcolor]

Mexican girl in Germany, can’t speak English, sign language, & Mexican intelligence stereotypes

Anonymous asked:

My ask is basically about the stereotype that Mexicans can’t speak English at all or only broken English. My idea is about a Mexican girl who lived her entire life in Mexico and expected to never move away from this place. Her mother speaks perfect English and tried to teach her daughter the language, but the girl was never good with learning languages, she only ever learner sign language because of her grandmother. At some point she just gave up learning English, because she was frustrated and saw it as plain unnecessary. But then her mother meets a German man and falls in love with him. She decides to move to Germany with him. They communicate through English of course, but the mother starts learning German. The girl doesn’t even wanna try learn it. With this whole language barrier she has a lot of problems in school. She was always really good in math and science subjects, but with the problems even this grades drop. She stops going to school, but then, through her new father, she meets a deaf girl. They speak with each other with sign language and become friends. The story is about the Mexican girl overcoming her language problems, learning German with the help of the deaf girl and getting used to her new life in Germany.

I decided to make the girl Mexican, because I think Mexican culture is really, really interesting. It’s a culture you don’t see often in Germany and I was interested in seeing how Mexican and German culture interacts, how they compliment each other and where differences are. For me, the most fun and interesting way to explore such a thing is through writing. But I’m still worried that people will see her as this stereotype, that she can’t speak English because she’s a ‘st**id’ Mexican. But she’s smart and she has a reason for not learning it, but is it a st**id reason? It’s part of her character that she is stubborn.

Thank you in advance for an answer and thank you for taking the time reading this.

Like spoken languages, sign languages aren’t universal. Mexican Sign Language (LSM) is different from German Sign Language (DGS). And in some countries, American missionaries brought American Sign Language (ASL) and taught it in the schools for the Deaf that they set up. You would have to think of an explanation for how these girls speak the same sign language (SL).

Lipreading is a common method of communicating with hearing people. Lipreading is hard to learn and some people never master it fully. Anything from accents to facial hair to speech impediments affect the ability to understand someone by lipreading. There would be significant communication barriers if the Mexican girl doesn't speak German and the German girl doesn't speak Spanish and they don't speak the same SL.

How does the Deaf character prefer to communicate with hearing people? What type of education did she have? A brief search indicates that the first Deaf schools in Germany used oralism - teaching the Deaf to speak and lipread. Most schools that taught oralism in the US banned ASL - was this the case in Germany? How much residual hearing does she have - enough to hear some with hearing aids or is she unable to hear any speech? Is her first language German or DGS? And how does her background affect her method of teaching German? How about the grandmother? Does she speak LSM? What is her background as a Deaf person? All these should be taken into account when writing and I strongly suggest doing more research into deafness, Deaf culture, and communication before proceeding with the story.

- SK

Edit for clarity: SK is Deaf and speaks ASL

Mexican readers, feel free to add commentary on this.

[princesscolumbia]

[tw - "r" word]

When I first got married, I had zero concept of the difference between autism, CP, epilepsy, etc. Thanks to the toxicly [insert prefix for anything here]-typical environment I grew up in, everything "not normal" was lumped into one blob and shoved "over there" so "normal" people didn't have to deal with it, and since "normal" people don't have to deal with it, they don't have to learn about it.

(I've got a whole rant about how this relates to Purity Cults, but that'll be for another time.)

When I found out my (then future, now ex) wife had epilepsy, I started learning what I could about it, mostly from her, and keeping myself open to different types of epilepsy and discovering that no, it's not like autism or cerebral palsy or deafness or anything like that. This was my first exposure to my own ignorance of comorbidities and how the world I grew up in slammed a whole BUNCH of people into the category of "retarded" when they may just have been hard of hearing (not even medically deaf) and because they needed "special" attention were shoved into the same class as anyone else deemed "not normal."

(Insert flashbacks to being shoved in the "special ed" class with the low-functioning kids from a variety of neurodivergencies because I was ADHD, undiagnosed, with comorbid clinical depression resulting in a hideous intelligence and zero outlets for it. The teachers were treated as glorified babysitters and had no idea what to do with me because I clearly didn't belong in their class either.)

My ex used to be an Interpreter for the Deaf, which further fractured the previous mental image of neurodivergence that I had, even if I didn't know the words. Deaf people have the same capabilities and challenges that everyone else has...hell, most of them could be considered bilingual given that Sign is often a different language branch entirely from the so-called "parent" language.

(American Sign Language, for example, is based on French and has almost jack and shit to do with British Sign, and that's one example)

When my daughter came along and was at first deemed "developmentally disabled," I only really had memories of the horrible "special ed" class I'd been shoved in, so was panicked that she'd never have a happy, healthy life. The nail in the coffin, it seemed at the time, was when she was diagnosed as autistic. Because of the horrific lack of proper education of what that meant when I grew up, I had a specific picture of what that looked like and it was very, very bad. Said mental picture also did NOT match what I was seeing in my daughter. This was the final blow that shattered my idea of what it meant to be neurodivergent, and it took a couple years, but I finally accepted, literally decades after the diagnosis, that I was ADHD and maybe I shouldn't be beating up on myself for not being "normal enough" and just get my damn meds and start learning how to exist while ADHD.

(I've started having fun with it, I can get done 20 times what an NT person can in a fraction of the time by properly managing my hyper-fixations.)

I now live in a committed relationship with a wonderful girlfriend who's on the autism spectrum and has her own unique, sometimes really neat, often endearing, traits to her ND than what I have or my daughter has. I'm in an online relationship that is very likely to soon turn into an IRL relationship, and they're ADHD and their ND has different and distinct traits.

(Yes, I'm polyamorous. Yes, my life is complicated AF)

My daughter is at the age where "learning compassion" is taking a mental back-seat to "WTF is my body even doing to me and how do I know who, or even if I want to, kiss?!" so I give her some latitude when she expresses how much she doesn't like being lumped in with the lower-functioning kids in her class at the autism-centric school she's in. She knows better than to say it out loud and in the class, but she'll vent about her frustration with "the lower functioning kids" and express her disgust about their lack of control or understanding of their bodily functions. I give her this latitude because her other mother (my ex) is raising our daughter with the same mentality that she was raised with as a child with epilepsy.

(Remember that trigger warning at the beginning? Yeah, you thought I'd already triggered the conditions for it, didn't you? Well, buckle up, it gets very un-pretty at this point)

My ex is about 4 years older than me. If the environment I was raised in was toxic, what with the political situation of Colorado being fairly "purple" by today's metrics and catching the tail-end of the 70s by the time I entered pre-school, my ex was raised in the equivalent to battery acid. See, she had epilepsy, which meant she was "retarded." "Don't expect her to live very long," the philosophy of the doctors in the area and at the time was, "She's probably going to choke on her own tongue in her sleep or convulse her head into the pavement and kill herself during a seizure. Retarded children can't live full, productive lives, just keep her from experiencing enough Life to know what she's missing and make sure her last years are comfortable so when she does pass it's at least not traumatic to you or her siblings."

(I could spill more tea on that family, but I'm trying not to think about it for my own mental health.)

My ex knows better and I can see that she's trying not to perpetuate that particular abuse with our daughter, but she does fall into patterns older than she is quite often, treating our daughter as a "retarded" kid being crammed into a NT mold.

And she genuinely thinks that our daughter only wants to live with me because I'm "the fun parent."

Way way back I drew a comic explaining what we really mean by ‘The Autism Spectrum’ and posted it here back when Tumblr was Huge. Then the comic really blew up!! Last year I did a remake of the comic, with some updated language, and using Mia, a character from a graphic novel I made. Figured I’d share for Autism Acceptance Month!

[7soulstars]

Hello ☁️ Can I request a Sherlock x deaf reader who is very shy and self concious? you're an amazing writer!

 Omg thank you for requesting darling! I had a lot of fun researching this but it was quite a challenge ! I wasn’t sure if you wanted a fic or an hc so I decided to do a hc ! I hope you like this !

Sherlock with a Deaf S/O

- Now it is not new to everyone that Sherlock doesn’t do feelings.

- BULLSHIT

- WHO THE FUCK EXPLAINS HOW HE SOLVES A MURDER VERBALLY AND THEN IN SUPER FAST SIGN LANGUAGE SO THAT YOU UNDERSTAND TOO ?

- He knew sign language, he had learnt it for a case years before meeting you.

- You kind of saved him from getting strangled by a murderer by knocking him out with a fire extinguisher the first time you two met at a library where he followed the murderous man.

- Why were you there ? Well it is a good place for an introvert to hang out. You were studying a bit of something related to your profession when that happened.

- John, Greg and his divsion had followed in a few mintues later .

- “Sherlock!” *looks at you who is staring down out the fainted body in absolute terror* “Thank you for helping him !”

- But you didn’t hear him, you chose not to wear your hearing aid that day either.

- “She’s deaf Gavin stop embarrasing yourself ! Really are you that stupid? ”

- You never thought you would see him after that but fate had it’s own gameplay.

- Next time you met him and John was when he scared off a creepy man following you.

- “Just a payback for last time”, he had signed looking at any direction but yours.

- You just stood their silently. You were too shy to talk so you decided you should take your leave from the undoubtedly handsome detective with a squeaky little goodbye.

- But he stopped you by saying that he needed help with a case related to your profession.

- He lied.

- He spent the entire night bothering Greg and Mycroft to find him a case involving you profession.

- Soon enough every single person who Sherlock was always around had to learn sign language even though you assured Sherlock you knew how to lip read.

- Sherlock speaks too fast so he always has to sign for you.

- You feel bad because you think it’s bothersome but your boyfriend doesn’t think so.

- “It’s quite entertaining keeps me alert and on my toes”

- Explains how he solved a case to you in rapid sign language because we all know that little shit will be all smug about it.

- Unspoken habit of not shooting while you’re at 221B because the vibrations startle you a lot.

- You are highly insecure and he read that out the moment he saw you but he doesn’t know the cause.

- So he asks. ( And has John by his side to whack some sense into him incase he blurts something rude)

- By the time you had finishing the duo had the biggest frowns on their faces

- The fact that you were rejected by regular schools for being disabled and were not accepted at a school for people like you for not fitting into the stereotype pissed Sherlock off.

- The fact that you underestimated yourself annoyed him even more.

- You are highly intelligent and Sherlock knew that very well, but your self conciousness always came in the way.

- He starts giving you little affirmations all the time.😭

- You often refuse to wear your hearing aids because they’re a bit uncomfortable but Sherlock insists you to wear them whenever he drags you out on a case.

- “Not everyonee is as smart as us darling”

- He doesn’t smoke anymore. Whenever he has a bad day he just gets home and stares at you.

- *stares* 

- ”Need a hug ?”

- *wordlessly falls into your lap as you skim through his curls*

- Once did the same when you had a REALLY bad day and when you were extremely insecure.

- “You do this for me all the time you look like you need one today...”

- You cried in his arms and he said nothing. Just held you tighter because that’s what you needed the most.🥺

- IRENE WHO ? He figured out you felt like she was better for him than you and the man blocked the woman’s number and told her to not contact him again in the most polite way possible

- You’re the only one who can handle his childish tantrums when even John can’t.

- “You are MY GIRLFRIEND don’t side them !”

- “YOU ALMOST POISIONED MYCROFT !”

- “It was an ExPeRiMeNt Y/N !”

- You being the only one who is allowed to stay in the room while he is in his mind palace.😤

- “Anderson get lost, Y/N where are you going? Stay here”

- MUMMY AND DADDY HOLMES ADORE YOU !

- “Sherlock really loves you darling I just know it !”

- ”MUMMY !”

-”You better marry her”

- He makes you feel like the most important person in the room in the most subtle ways.

- Even his rivals know that you are a line they willl never dare cross because nobody touches Sherlock Holmes’ girlfriend or they will pay in unimaginable terms.

- Even though he would never dare to tell you, William Sherlock Scott Holmes was awfully and dreadfully in love with the local shy and deaf girl and the entire world knows of this.

Part 2

*Stops typing and wallows in self embarrassment because I think it's not perfect enough for my perfect readers*

Sherlock: it may be shitty but you tried

Me*nodding*: I tried😔

Moriarty: well, all you can do is pray that they like it.....

Me:*cries*

But in all seriousness I FINALLY finished this piece after battling with my writer's block. I know this is not at all accurate and that brings me to an important point. I research a lot for this hc but I was disappointed that there was rarely any information on deafness and experiences of people with disabilities and problems faced by them. What does that mean?

WE NEED MORE REPRESENTATION OF PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT ABILITIES AND AWARENESS ABOUT IT ON MASS MEDIA AND THATS ON PERIODT. WE NEED TO EDUCATE PEOPLE AND THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Again I really really really tried my best and I really hope you all like it. In case of any mistakes I've made or if I have written anything offensive or triggering please tell me in the comments so that I can make immediate corrections. Please like and reblog my work if you like it to support me. Comments and constructive criticism is always appreciated. Please do not plagarize my work I really work hard on it! I have 4 fics to be completed but I promise to finish it soon. Thank you guys for being patient. 

~Love Hri! 😘

[whatwouldmickeydo]

baaaaaaaaaabe. it's friday! So I made you some scrambled eggs and spelled your name out with ketchup because that's the only foods they give us in this godforsaken villa thank god we've found each other please love me? Here are some questions for while you attempt to eat it:

1) Do you have any thoughts about doing any more education than you have already (I don't know your current level of educatedness but is there anything you would want to go back to school for?)

2) Tell me something you like about yourself today.

3) If you could go back in time to a specific moment and relive your life from then, would you?

💙 🐋

Babeeee let’s sneak out and get some cheeky lil food in the village nearby, I bet they won’t notice

1. I currently have a bachelor’s in Deaf Studies and have thought on and off about going back to school for a master’s to potentially do something in social services but I am just eternally exhausted by the state of student loans and having to pay for it all and the time and energy that I don’t know I have, so I’ve put that on the back back back burner. I also briefly considered massage therapy school because I have really strong hands

2. I like the way my face feels super soft today and my knees look cute in my ripped jeans (I give you a twofer)

3. Don’t we all dream about going back to high school with all the knowledge we have now and just being that cool, fun person we always wanted to be? Alas, I think I will stick with this timeline and leave what’s done in the past, in the past 😌

[forbidding-souda]

Deaf S/O with characters I headcanon knowing ASL

ASL specifically, though ASL and sign language go interchangeably with this headcanon, this post specifies things to ASL.

And this S/O is deaf AND signs ASL, doesn’t specify anything else otherwise I’d be specific about it :)

(gender neutral S/O ofc ofc)

-Mod Souda

Rantaro Amami

Something he noticed about you quickly is how loud you were.

You two moved in together, and it was never something he would have predicted.

You’ll go to get food at midnight and slam the cupboard close, scaring him awake.

You always eat at midnight too, it’s unusual to him.

He will wake up with you absent in the bed and be like oh no.

He’s a very calm, quiet person.

He will never tell you about your volume, though, in fear he’ll embarrass you.

When you first met, after learning you were deaf, he definitely watched a lot of videos on deaf culture.

He also developed a crush on Nyle DiMarco.

I mean what.

If you ask he doesn’t know who that is.

He’s very educated on the manor, and often corrects people when they refer to you incorrectly.

But the way he signs is very textbook-y.

He signs 16 like ten-six, which bothers you.

Does NOT keep up with sign language slang.

You signed see you later to him and it blew his mind.

You tried to show him the sign for emoji and he went ???

The sign name you give him is ‘beautiful’, and then it ends with an R.

Kirumi Toujou

You often have to ask her to repeat herself to get the message of her words across, since she hardly uses facial expressions.

She learned ASL for a job once and forget a lot of it.

You enjoy teaching her, definitely.

Because teaching her means she’ll sign like you.

One time she signed Sunday a different way than you and you went ???

“Where did you learn that.”

“... signing saavy.”

“Nice.”

The best part about her is that she is actually good at the grammar structure.

It’s actually quite surprising that you don’t have to simplify your sentences.

Going shopping is fun with her, too.

That’s where she specializes; in food.

She can name almost everything in the food aisle.

Can easily understand your excited rambling but can’t seem to sign fast herself.

Slow and delicate, it’s cute.

Worst part for her is how loud you have the TV.

She likes doing laundry in silence, but that’s hard when she can hear the conversations of characters all the way from the living room.

She asks you to turn it down.

“Sorry.”

You don’t.

She is always working hard as the SHSL Maid, so you hardly get to see her.

But whenever she returns she always brings you a small gift.

Sometimes foreign coins or keychains.

Her sign name is ‘business’ with a T, because you met her while she was working and she was very focused!

Peko Pekoyama

Hid the fact that she knew ASL from you.

It was because she’s bad at it.

You assure her that to the Deaf community, it’s the effort that matters.

She has met a lot of deaf people because of you and gets scared to sign to them.

She even blushes in embarrassment.

But if you ask for help in public than she’ll be happy to assist.

That’s rare, though, since you almost always find a way to communicate with hearing people who don’t sign.

Something she enjoys is the stillness of your house.

The Kuzuryuu household always has some type of noise going on.

Yours is almost always quiet.

She isn’t afraid to sign to you when you’re home alone.

You like teaching her signs like “wow.”

Seeing her sign them in a neutral face is funny to you.

“Facial expressions matter to my language, Peko!”

She gets flustered when you correct her.

Her sign name is a motion that signifies her braids, with a P handshape.

You always love playing with her hair.

She thinks it’s annoying.

“I want another name sign.”

“No.”

She’ll crawl into bed next to you and then feel you messing with her hair.

She huffs, “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I know.”

Sonia Nevermind

Different types of sign language was always her favorite thing to learn.

She loves Deaf culture and always tries to involve herself in it.

Meeting you made her even more excited once she learned you were deaf.

You thought it was really weird until she explained that she studied the culture.

You were impressed, especially since she had never talked to one in person before.

She even started signing slang and it blew your mind.

You gave her a sign name the first day you met her, and she almost passed out in joy.

Princess with an S, and she thought it was awesome, even though it was basic.

She told all of her classmates she got a sign name.

When a bunch of Ultimates came up to you asking for a sign name you went ???

Well now you have to bring her to a Deaf convention.

When she attends ballroom dances, she always brings you along so you can meet people of her culture as well.

She keeps you by her side, holding your hand the entire time and explaining what is happening and why.

She secretly wants to be an interpreter.

Dating her is really fun, of course, because she really wants to learn.

Makes a law that says interpreters are a necessity in her countries broadcasts.

Whenever she travels, she always sends you selfies with the ILY sign.

It’s her favorite.

She never stops thinking about you.

She works hard to make laws to the Deaf community in her country feels welcome.

Gundham Tanaka

Originally learned sign language to teach to his pets.

Never knew he would have to use it to talk to someone.

Until Sonia introduced you to him and he busted out in ASL

Sonia and you going ?? OH UH HI YEs

Signs as dramatic as you think he would.

Sign name is literally devil.

Asked specifically for that sign name.

When you both cuddle he’ll smother his face against you - often your chest or your neck - and mutter how much he loves you.

If you still have some of your hearing you’ll be like “I swear to god if you don’t stop using your voice.”

If you’re stone deaf you’ll just roll your eyes and enjoy the vibrations against your skin.

Gundham would also definitely hum against you.

His voice is deep and it rumbles so yes.

You can also talk to a lot of his animals, since they understand sign language.

It’s awesome being able to communicate with animals.

You like taking baths with him, too.

He likes talking a lot so it would be easier to talk to him.

If he ever needs help with the big cats, he’ll call you, because their scary roars don’t bother you.

The fact that they have claws does though.

Whenever he gets anxious he talks behind his scarf, which drives you crazy.

“Sign, damnit, or I will literally kill you!”

Mikan Tsumiki

Has helped a lot of deaf students.

But barely knows any words outside of the medical field.

Gets emberassed whenever you correct her on something she signs wrong.

Signs mostly PSE, but you help her switch into ASL.

She’s a big hugger, always holding you close and having you cradle her.

You gave her the sign name “shaky princess.”

“P-Princes???”

She takes awhile to get used to how blunt ASL is.

Stutters a lot still, even in ASL.

Whenever you sign to her while she has something in her hand she’ll start freaking out and crying about not being able to respond.

Until one day you sign to her with one hand and she’s like ??? you can do that?

Showers with you a lot.

Her brain doesn’t process signing in the shower, though.

So it’s mostly just the two of you standing together.

She definitely prefers sign language over talking.

Sometimes she finds herself signing while talking, too.

Shinguuji Korekiyo

100% you cannot convince me this man doesn’t know ASL.

He is obsessed with culture, so he’s definitely very knowledgable in Deaf culture and history as well.

Though understanding his signs is very hard because of his mask.

Sometimes he’ll take off his hat so you can easily see the upper half of his face.

(Okay but can we talk about if deaf S/O is a girl how he wouldn’t kill her because Miyadera doesn’t know sign language so they wouldn’t be friends)

An amazing signer, though, since he talks to a lot of Deaf people.

I mean you almost can’t tell he’s hearing.

It’s just the facial expressions and body movement.

Boy is stiff.

Makes you uncomfortable when he signs things like chubby face and skinny.

He just... stands there with his blank eyes.

He scares you all the time, too.

Like he’ll just walk up behind you and touch you.

Not even a shoulder nudge either he’ll just grab you and hug you.

You let out a noise of surprise each time.

If you’re nonverbal, that’s probably why he does it.

You really wanted his sign name to be something like mystery man.

Discussed it with your deaf friends.

Settled on anthropology just because of the hat he wears.

Really wanted it to be less obvious though.

You like to have tea with him.

Because everytime he changes into his eating mask, you are like-

“Why don’t you have a signing mask?”

“The point of the mask is to hide my mouth.”

Kiibo

Doesn’t remember learning ASL

Just??? Knew it.

When he saw you signing to your friend he knew what you were saying without realizing.

Hands move in language hello???

You had to explain to him that you are deaf and it’s how you communicate.

He thinks it’s incredible how you have your own language.

He’s also grateful that he knows it so he could learn more about what being Deaf is.

If you’re verbal than one day you’ll speak while signing and he’ll ???

YOU CAN TALK????

“Yes Kiibo I can talk.”

You show him stereotypical Deaf movies.

He’s happy you’re deaf because that means he can sing around you.

You clap every time he does.

Likes watching anime with you because the CC comes naturally.

Even though he obvi knows Japanese.

Definitely owns clothes from Deaf conventions.

Isn’t scared to sign to people at all, by the way.

And doesn’t mind living in a household with a deaf person, the slamming of cabinets and doors doesn’t bother him.

Very happy to be apart of Deaf culture.

He’s very prideful in being a robot so of course that’s his sign name.

Kaito Momota

Chaotic.

Knows ASL because he took classes one time.

When he learns you’re deaf he will force you to watch every movie he watched in his ASL class.

Will try to sneak up on you.

But he stomps when he walks so it doesn’t always work.

Though, just to bother you, when he walks by he’ll pull your hair.

Replaced shoulder nudges with pulling your hair.

When you sign a word he doesn’t know he’ll pretend to understand.

You can tell when he doesn’t.

He is very prideful in his signing abilities.

He’s just happy to be able to communicate you.

Shhh don’t tell S/O but he loves them very much and tries his best.

He literally started taking ASL classes again just to catch up on new signs.

Didn’t tell you, of course.

Begs you to make his sign name astronaut.

You thought about it.

Egotistical with K’s :)

He’s like akdkskfkekffk NO

He’s says something like “Oh yeah well your sign name is UGLY!!”

“Stay mad stay mad.”

He tries to white knight situations in like restaurants.

“You’re not my interpreter.”

“Yeah but they don’t know ASL.”

“Neither does the rest of the world but I’ve made it so far.”

He literally like gets nervous about you going places alone.

What if they can’t communicate???

“Kaito.”

“What.”

“Shut up.”

He always brags to you because he’s quadlingual though.

You learn curse words in Russian to sticky note to the bathroom mirror.

His signing is cute though.

For someone like Kaito.

[beerecordings]

Quick and small question about this maybe new au- did Anti and JJ knew about their father or was that information also kept from them? Also, love how Henrik is just there? Maybe?? The way you worded is just very funny

ahaha thank you I was thinking maybe Henrik is a cousin from Germany and he comes to live with them cause his dad is also kind of a jackass. he's probably training to be a doctor

thanks for asking!! yes in my mind they know about their dad and Anti has a lot of resentment about it. their dad would even come visit them from time to time and he would make sure they had everything they needed, at least financially. they probably don't know exactly who their dad is or who their siblings are but they understand perfectly well that everybody refers to them as his bastard children and their mom was paid off to abandon them. Anti doesn't believe that she would abandon him and when people call her a whore it makes him FURIOUS. he doesn't consider anyone family other than JJ. their father visits on rare occasion, but most of his life it's just the warden who keeps them and a couple tutors and nannies and that sort of thing. he starts causing trouble as soon as he can walk and plans to run away with Jameson someday.

meanwhile JJ hasn't been educated at all because he's labeled as Deaf and therefore unteachable in this time period (not really, just nobody tries and only Anti figures out that he's actually mute, not Deaf). he loves horses though so he's pretty much being raised to be a stable boy. he wishes he had a mom and a dad around but at least he has Anti... until Anti gets himself arrested and JJ is alone without the only person who's ever tried to listen to him. he wants his dad to come fix it but then he finds out he passed away :( Jameson is not resentful towards his father and loved him very much, although he does sometimes get really lonely and sad without parents around. he wishes he could have seen him one more time before he died, but no one sent for them or even told Jameson when their dad got sick.

but Jackie will want to bring him in just about as soon as he learns about him! Anti uhhhh they gotta figure out what the hell to do with him

that being said, remember these headcanons we talk about are just for fun imagining and you can disregard anything i say lol! maybe they don't know about their dad and both sides of the family are just going to be looking at each other like

[blindbeta]

I have a question about 2 characters. One is blind because of an accident but he was too young to remember it, the other is deafblind because of Usher syndrome. I was wondering if my story should spend time adressing the differences between the two characters blindness or at least the differences between being deafblind and hearing and blind. And if so how much time should be spent on it?

Hi nonnie!

This is a great question. I’ll address it in parts! I love that you have at least two blind characters in your story, avoiding tokenism. Perhaps include another D/deaf character or even another DeafBlind character if you haven’t already.

The Accident Narrative

I like that you have avoided the tragedy/traumatic aspect of the narrative by having the accident happen when the character was too young to remember. While I would personally prefer no accident, the trope is really that a person who is old enough to remember seeing (often a teenager) loses their sight in a traumatic and/or violent way. Then a sighted writer writes about the grief and pain of losing sight, which is not their story to tell.

So yay on the character being too young to remember. You can simply mention the accident, without focusing on it too much. I think it will be fine.

DeafBlind vs Blind (And Hearing)

I think taking some time to describe the differences between their blindness would be interesting and helpful for readers. I know the instinct is to say “blindness doesn’t define them” and while this is true, it should not stop you from addressing ways it does impact their lives.

By your ask, I can tell you already know, although I’ll add this for the sake of readers not familiar with my blog. Blindness exists on a spectrum, especially when one considers what caused it. Deafness also exists on a spectrum. Therefore, so does DeafBlindness. With what I read about Usher syndrome, the type of User syndrome will lead to different experiences. You’ll want to say which type the character has (Type I, II, or III) and at some point, show the symptoms the character has. You probably don’t have to do much except mention their age (and/or when they went blind or D/deaf as it depends on the type of Usher syndrome they have).

From my understanding, apparent hearing loss before adulthood will rule out Type III, although vision loss in adolescence can happen there as well. Type I and II both include hearing loss at birth (whatever that will look like for your character) and vision loss starting in childhood or adolescence/adulthood, depending on the type. The type will also include something about whether or not that person has trouble with balance.

A better overview of the differences can be found here for any curious readers.

Now, back to you, anon. I think the difference between the characters’ levels of blindness should be given some focus. Blind people, when we first meet and many of us are together, will sometimes talk about our eye conditions, what we can or cannot see, etc. There is a lot of variation among us already, even when all the people in the room are hearing.

Rather than talking about it outright (which might seem a bit stilted if writen by a non-blind person), I suggest using sight or level of access to blind technology in subtle and practical ways. “Can anyone read that sign?” “This part of the menu is too small. Can anyone read or scan it?” “Can someone describe this shirt to me? It has a nice fit and looks fancy so I might get it to wear at the office, but I want to know if it has any weird designs.”

If your characters meet, they can do something like that through whatever communication they prefer. Sign, texting, a different method for each of them, etc. Depending on where they are on the spectrum, the DeafBlind person may even have better vision than the blind person. From my research, some DeafBlind people will lose peripheral vision and develop blind spots or tunnel vision. Depending on the type (when they went blind), they may be recently dealing with vision loss and the blind character, having dealt with it their whole life, could offer some tips. There are a lot of ways you could handle it depending on what the differences between their vision entails.

I would suggest focusing on this throughout the story (or however long they are together) in subtle ways, focusing on building character development and relationships. Readers need to know 1) blindness is a spectrum and 2) DeafBlindness is also a spectrum. This will accomplish educating your readers in a way that feels natural and doesn’t take them out of the story. (Note: sometimes you will be accused of focusing too much or not enough on their disability no matter what you do, and you may be accused of being an after-school special no matter how well you write this. This is ableism talking and you can usually ignore it if it doesn’t come from disabled people.)

As for User syndrome and the differences between the Types, you can include what you feel works best for your story. Maybe include information in the end of the story if you would like. I think it would also be okay to let readers research the different types as they please, with your book as a starting point for that.

You can also include other blind or D/deaf characters for fun. Maybe the blind character has a D/deaf sibling or cousin or parent and learned Sign. Maybe the DeafBlind character has a blind worker (to help with school or something) and this worker is blind in one eye or has low vision or some other thing. I don’t know what you’re doing with your story, so these are only suggestions.

How Much Time?

I would say that, while their disability will touch all aspects of their lives in some small ways and while you want to highlight the differences and similarities in their experiences with blindness, I would suggest not making this the main focus of the story unless it is a short story. My instinct is to spread it out throughout the story and maybe have these parts add up to several pages at most. The number of pages don’t matter. There is no safe or unsafe limit and no amount of time you are expected to spend on this topic. Go with what feels right and have them focus on other things as well.

Being Blind and Hearing

I would spend a bit on this topic as well, just to make it clear to readers that there is a difference beyond Able to Listen to Music versus Not. One big difference is what is accessible. People often get Sign and Braille mixed up or think they’re the same kind of language. D/deafness and blindness often get lumped together and people rarely consider the differences in how they interact with the world, let alone what it really means to be blind and hearing.

My instinct is to devote some time to this also. However, it can incorporated into the story. You can introduce these topics in ways that feel comfortable for you.

Last Thoughts

You can keep track of this by writing a bullet list of what you want to include in terms of explaining things to readers. Come up with ways this would fit into the character development and plot. When the story is done, look at your list and see if you included what you wanted to include. As for time, the next time you re-read the story for editing purposes, highlight paragraph ls where these things come up (not them being blind or DeafBlind but the differences between them) and paste them into another document. See how long you have focused on these things. Do you feel it is too much? Not enough?

Get a few blind and DeafBlind sensitivity readers. D/deaf readers may also be helpful. I would try to have at least two sensitivity readers, although three or four would be ideal for this story. Get a few readers without experience with blind, D/deaf, or DeafBlind people and ask them to read. What questions do they have? Do you feel they are coming from a good place? Can you address them in any way in the story?

I hope this helps. If anyone else with more experience in these communities want to add anything, feel free! I definitely do not speak for D/deaf or DeafBlind people, so I tried to focus on the blindness part of this question.

-BlindBeta

[wxlfbites]

The only part of this reblog that was actually written to respond to the actual issue was the last two paragraphs. Otherwise, you took my comments, completely ignored what I said, and continued making the same arguments.

None of what we take issue with is about cringe culture or how you choose to express your nonhumanity. It’s about there being an extreme lack of understanding of what therianthropy actually means as an identity. I’m not just talking about outsider misconceptions.

Do you know why the KFF and Tumblrkin were so popular at one point? Because there were so many people spreading the misinformation that otherkinity was a chosen identity based on liking characters so much you wanted to be them. Therianthropy is currently being promoted as “acting and dressing like an animal for fun” when that’s 100% incorrect. So now you have people seeing TikTok Therians going “that looks fun, I’m gonna be a therian!” posting more “therian” content purely based on the misunderstanding that therianthropy is the chose to just pretend to be an animal because it’s fun.

Literally no one, and I mean no one, is saying you can’t have fun with therianthropy. You, like the TikTok Therians, disregarded every point I made to emphasize that, including when I pointed out my own personal “cringey” nonhuman behaviors. Because you’re not looking at the bigger picture. You’re hyperfocusing on me “being a bully” because I’m explaining why the “therian trend” on TikTok is ultimately damaging the real therian community and you have trauma related to be gatekept. Which, I’m sorry for, but I’m not gatekeeping your kintypes. I’m not gatekeeping your self expression. I’m not gatekeeping anything other than the true, original, unbiased definition of what therianthropy really means. And that is to involuntarily identify as nonhuman. Take away any aspect of self expression or nonhuman behaviors one might outwardly show. Do you involuntarily identify as nonhuman? If the answer is no, then you are not a real therian. Point. Blank. Period. You could be an accountant for a law firm. You could do quadrobics and howl at strangers (both) in public. You could wear giant collars too big for your body and ears and tails that move electronically. You can bark at the cars that drive past, the mail guy, your neighorhood stray cat. You could actively hiss and swat at anything you don’t like. If you do all of these things and you call yourself a therian, as long as you involuntarily identify as nonhuman, that’s fine!

Literally no one is complaining about how someone chooses to express their GENUINE nonhumanity. No one is arguing that therianthropy is diverse and can be fun and expressed with a little bit (or a lot) of “cringe”. That’s what I’ve been saying. The issue isn’t inherently masks and quadrobics on their own. It’s when people (again, no matter what age) take an identity, think it sounds fun, turn it into something they want it to be and then spread their version of it like a virus with no consideration for the people before them with that identity. I literally don’t understand why that’s the part you’re avoiding to acknowledge. But then again, that’s why no matter how hard the older folks try to educate, it makes no difference. Because everything falls onto deaf ears when they’re told what they don’t want to hear.

Anyway. I’m done fighting for a “community” that no longer cares about whether they’ll be able to actually relate to each other through shared experiences, who can help each other learn more about themselves, the animals they identify as, the world around them, who can bounce ideas on how to connect with themselves deeper without being ableist and reverting to quadrobics as a default, who can meet each other and feel what it’s like to really interact with your and other species of animal offline, who can help each other dig a little deeper into parts of yourself that you’ve been trying to reach for a while but needed an outside perspective for…. as long as they’re having fun, right? That’s the only thing that matters if you’re a therian. Fun. You know… like a club… or a fandom….. not a real community.

Have fun.

screw therian gatekeepers I’m proud to be a silly little dog who dresses weird and has too many kintypes and barks to communicate with my partner. haters can stay mad I experience joy and wonder and love my identity and don’t feel the need to prove my experiences are real in a 10 paragraph long essay about why I consider myself nonhuman. I’m so happy there are kids on tiktok who feel comfortable enough to post videos of them running around on all fours to share with their friends or make friends with other young therians. I’m happy I see the theta delta in twitter bios so often and that more people are unapologetically their weird selves and have a community where they feel comfortable actually being themselves and expressing that without any internalized self hatred or strictness about how you’re allowed to identify or how you’re allowed to treat your identity. I’m glad everyone is different and some people can enjoy writing essays about their alterhumanity without looking down on the people who don’t. I’m glad there are nonhumans who aren’t comfortable wearing kin gear but don’t put down the people who dress obviously kin on the daily and it affects every aspect of them as people. I’m glad we’re growing out of elitism and that bitchy gatekeepers are leaving the community because “”therianthropy isn’t what it used to be””. fuck you, we didn’t want your grumpy boomer ass here anyway. we don’t have space for toxicity and self hatred anymore.

[thetomorrowshow]

Slower Than Words Ch. 21

First  -  Previous  -  Next

I know I keep saying this, but unless my life suddenly slows down soon, updates will be slowed. This one was so close to being late. I have a layout for the story, I just don’t have the spare time to write. I am about to lose a commitment, though, so maybe things will work out!

cw: arguing, panic attack, angst

~

“You don't need a job.”

“Yes I do! I can't just let you and Remus support me, I'm an adult!”

“You're still recovering. You don't even know what a job would be like in this world.”

“Then let me find out!”

“Patton, no. This is not up for debate any longer.”

Patton stood up suddenly, shoving his chair back with a loud screeeech. For a moment, his anger boiled, so near to the surface, as he contemplated walking out of the apartment and getting himself a job.

Instead, he shoved the feelings down and stormed into his room, slamming the door shut. How could Father be so—so—!

All he wanted was to feel like he was actually contributing something. Sure, he was still in three kinds of therapy, but Father couldn't pay for that all himself, even with his two jobs. He couldn’t expect Remus to help, either—Remus was his own person with his own ambitions.

Patton picked up his pillow, only to throw it as hard as he could at the bed. He took a couple of deep breaths, then did it again. He was an adult, he could do anything Father or Remus could do, and he wanted to help! He wanted to see the Outside, interact with people from Out, learn what life was like here. He hadn't gone anywhere yet except his therapy appointments, which were all in the same cluster of buildings, so it wasn't like he was being exposed to a wide variety of stimuli.

Something was off, but Patton shook the feeling away. He was too mad to try and figure it out. Father didn't have much money at all, they were skating by on very little and Patton could help with that! He could help his family stay safe and alive, and here, with him.

Patton had felt helpless his whole life. There was always something, someone, to be afraid of. There was always something, someone, to hold him in place. He was always trapped. He'd thought, for months, that getting out would mean a sunny life full of smiles, a life with love and happiness.

This wasn't happiness. This wasn't sunshine, and certainly not smiles. This was being locked away, only leaving to see doctors who tried to 'fix' him, only to—

Patton fell to his knees, clutching his head as he tried to shut the memories out. There was panic rising in his chest, dousing the anger like cold water with fire, and he didn't know why. Where was Virgil, why wasn't he here? Where was his jacket—there, on the desk. So where was Virgil? Why wasn't he here, where was Father, please, not again, please—

The door.

The door was closed, and Patton hadn't closed it, had he? Someone shut him in. Someone had shut him in, and they weren't going to let him out. No, not okay, not at all okay. There was no way for him to tell someone to let him out, he couldn't ask for help!

Why wouldn't Father let him learn to talk?

Patton crawled over to the door, shaking fearfully as he reached up for the doorknob. Part of him was holding him back, insisting that if he didn't know that the door was locked then it couldn't be locked. Instead of giving in to that, he turned the handle, and—

It opened, with just a little bit of resistance of dragging along the carpet, and Patton fell over in relief. He was safe, he was at home with Father, he wasn't confined to a room. He noticed that his face was hot, and reached up to find tears.

Patton felt a little embarrassed, now that he realized that nothing had been wrong. He'd just been freaking out over nothing. Probably something he'd have to talk about with one of his therapists.

He got to his feet, his legs shaking a bit, which reminded him suddenly of Virgil. Patton felt a pang as he thought of his lost love. Remus had said that Virgil had gotten out for certain, but he didn't know anything else. He couldn't believe it—they both finally got freedom, escaped to the same place, yet their paths hadn't crossed. They'd been separated, before they even got to see each other.

The house vibrated, and Patton peered out his door to see Remus kicking his shoes off in front of the front door. He was saying something to Father, his mouth moving at lightning speed.

Patton withdrew into his room, taking a moment to pull on Virgil's jacket before falling back onto his bed. His heart was still thumping wildly, adrenaline surging through him. Everything was fine, though. Not good, necessarily. But fine.

-

Remus flopped onto the couch beside Logan, letting a drawn-out sigh hiss out of him. Logan watched him impassively, though there was a crease between his brows, and he didn't look all that present.

“You good, Lolo?” Remus asked. He scratched his mustache absently, not at all missing Logan's quick glance to Patton's room.

The kid was cool, if a bit jumpy. He and Logan had been butting heads a bit lately, and today must have been the day of another angry hands match. Remus wasn't really able to keep up, but Logan had filled him in—Patton wanted a job, and to learn how to read lips and talk. Like that one lady, but without the blind part or whatever.

Remus was on Patton's side, sort of—the kid needed out, and that was fair. He'd needed out to, which was why he got a job at the gas station thirty minutes out. Gave him time to drive, think. Laugh at the music on the radio. Pretend he was collecting a string of coins on the road. Fun stuff, free stuff. Pat pretty clearly needed some of that, and Logan was definitely motherhenning.

On the other hand, though, the three were barely keeping afloat. After payments for Patton's therapy (which they had financial aid for, too), there was only just enough to cover bills and food and whatall. They hadn't even been able to buy Pat more clothes, he was just re-wearing the same two or three outfits over and over. Which played into why he wanted a job—another person with a job meant more money, but even that wouldn't be enough money to cover lipreading lessons, let alone speaking lessons.

Who would hire a deaf kid, anyway?

Deaf young adult, Remus reminded himself. Patton was only a handful of years younger than him. He wasn't a kid, and he probably didn't want to be called a kid.

Suddenly, Remus realized that Logan was talking. He really needed to stop getting lost in thought.

“I can't let that happen,” Logan was saying. “Not again.”

Ah, they'd reached the part of the day where Logan talked about how guilty he felt. Lovely to tune in to!

“Lo, I get it. You've given me this spiel like eight million times already,” Remus said. “You love Patty, blah blah your fault, blah blah blah kidnapping, not safe blah blah. Come up with new material.”

Logan rolled his eyes, but he seemed to have broken out of his self-deprecating cycle, so Remus had succeeded.

“Why don't we talk to the school district?” Remus continued. “They've gotta have some deaf kids, and Pat could be a translator or something, I don't know.” He'd been thinking about it for a few days now. If there was anyone who needed a translator full-time, it was a school. He'd thought about other places—a church (nope bad memories probably), the post office (too many people), a motel (too shifty). Not to mention, all the places wouldn't need him regularly. The school seemed like the best bet. Logan, however, shook his head without even considering it.

“No, he doesn't know the first thing about a school.” Remus snapped his fingers. “Perfect place to learn! Good thinking!”

“That is not what I mean. I don't feel comfortable putting him in a situation where he would have to regularly deal with normal people.” Logan adjusted his glasses, his hand running up from there to trail through his hair. “He's not ready. It isn't safe for him until we can adjust his therapy schedule to include sensitivity training. It will take him years to be able to get a job, according to the timeline I've drawn up. Not to mention, in order to get a decent, respectable job, he must undertake a college education at a reputable university.”

That was completely wrong, and ruled out trade schools and apprenticeships. It also stung, pretty badly. Logan knew full well that Remus hadn't been to college. Remus tried to not let the hurt show on his face as he stopped listening to Logan's tirade.

He was wrong. Little Patty-Cake could totally survive in the real world. But how to prove it to him?

-

Patton was reading, sprawled out on his bed, several days after the fight when he saw his door move slightly out of the corner of his eye. He sat up to see Remus waving at him. He sent a casual wave back, before returning to his book. He was learning a lot—the book's main characters all worshiped differently. He hadn't even known that there was more than one religion.

His bed dipped, which meant that Remus had come in and sat on his bed. Patton took his time finishing his page. Eventually, Remus waved in his face.

“That's rude, you know,” Patton signed, finally placing a bookmark in the book and closing it. “What do you need?”

Remus took a moment, repeating Patton's sentences in miniature as he worked his way through it. Then he bounced a little bit, smiled, and pulled something out of the tote bag on his shoulder that Patton hadn't noticed until now.

A book.

Another one?

Patton didn't want to complain, but he had so many books already. Father was always going to the library in between shifts, bringing a new thing to read. He had six or seven to catch up on still, he didn't need another. And he was getting a little bored of reading.

Remus raised his eyebrows expectantly, holding it out, gesturing for Patton to take it. He did, watching Remus's excited eyes for a moment before turning his attention to the title.

Lip-Reading Principles And Practice: A Hand-book for Teacher and for Self-Instruction.

No.

Really?

Patton smiled, huge, hope building in his chest. Remus grinned toothily, and rereading the title was all it took for Patton to be launching into Remus's chest with a hug.

He was really going to learn! He could really do this! He released the laughing Remus to run his hands across the lightly damaged cover reverently, then hugged Remus again.

He couldn't wait to get started.

~

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