#and then because of how i visualize dazai's hair i couldn't not think of the dogs ears so you get a smug flirty chibi as a bonus

[originalartblog]

oh whoops sorry I'll come back later 🫣

(and thank you @sensitiveheartless for being responsible for this 💖)

[luvfy0dor]

“He's Got So Much in His Heart, But He Doesn't Know What to Do ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Chuuya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu, Sigma

Warnings; barely proofread, maybe ooc

Description; BSD Men confessing to you

A/n; I promise I'm working on reqs! I think after I do two more I'm gonna open requests again ^^

⑅Chuuya Nakahara⑅

• Chuuyas palms get sweaty when he does confess to you- you've been a long time port mafia member and have been well acquainted for years, but he still gets all nervous. He asks around for your favorite snacks or chocolates and flowers. If you don't like flowers, he'll replace it with something else, but for the sake of the story, we'll use flowers.

ೃ⁀➷

Chuuya eyed the flowers sitting on his desk from time to time. He has been stirring with his own feelings for too long and decided he would just admit everything to you today- how he felt his face heat up when you praised his work and the way his heart thumped in his chest when you smile at him in the hallways. He rubbed his face with his hands and groaned, contemplating all the outcomes of his situation. You could say you felt the same and agree to go on a date with him, or you could turn him down politely. He didn't think a rude rejection was a possibility from you, even if you're not the nicest person, he just couldn't imagine you being mean to him. Or maybe he just didn't want to imagine it.

He let out one final sigh before standing up from his desk and grabbing the flowers. The bouquet of roses was held together in red cellophane wrap and crinkled in his grasp. It was about time for him to leave for the day, and he knew you got out at the same time and didn't like to hang around, so he hurriedly headed to your office. His hair bounced on one of his shoulder while he walked and his hands sweat nervously under his gloves. He took a deep breath and headed to round a corner, but instead ran face first into you, making the both of you stumble backwards. "Jeez, Chuuya, you're fine, right?" You ask, regaining your balance and scanning over his appearance and seeing the roses. "Oh..! Who are the roses for?" You ask, feeling a little bit of jealousy form in the depths of your chest. It took a while for you to admit to yourself that you liked Chuuya because of your co-worker status, and now that you did you couldn't help but with for a good portion of his attention.

"Uh- yeah, no, I'm fine. You're okay too, that's good. They're, uhm, they're for-" He mutters, trying to stall a little to buy time to get his heart out of his throat. He just sighs and runs a hand through his bangs and holds out the flowers to you. "They're for you." He averts his eyes and visually becomes more red. Your eyes widen. "Chuuya, you don't have to give them to me because I asked, if they're for somebody else then go bring them to that person." You say with a small but slightly bitter laugh, not that he could tell because he was too busy worrying over whether or not this was your form of rejection. "No, they're really for you. They've been for you since I bought 'em." He tells you, holding them out towards you insistently. You feel your heart rate pick up and your breath hitches. "Chuuya.." you whisper his name and it's like music to his ears.

"Y/n, I would really like to take you on a date if you'd let me. I really like you, you're nothing less than enchanting to me." He says dead seriously, shoving the flowers towards you again. You take them and can't help but flash your teeth in a smile. "Yeah, I'd love to go on a date with you too. Let me give you my number so you can text me about it, can I just put it in your phone?" You ask, holding out your hand. He nod and fishes his phone out of one of his pockets. He opens the contacts app and creates a new one before giving it to you to add your phone number. You do so with a smile and hand it back to him. You can see him smile while looking down at his phone, and when he looks back up, you press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Chuuya, I really appreciate the flowers and your confession. I have to head home and make dinner, so text me, okay?" You grab his hand and give it a quick squeeze. He nods. "Yeah, you got it." The prideful grin on his face doesn't fade as he walks back to his office. He felt like a kid on Christmas after receiving their number one item on the wishlist, and his #1 item happened to be the chance to get to know you better.

⑅Dazai Osamu⑅

• Dazai is very confident. He'll let you know when he likes you, and you can tell it's different from his usual flirting.

ೃ⁀➷

You work alongside Dazai at the ada and the both of you decided to take half of a day off to wander the city. You didn't really have a specific location in mind and just went wherever your feet took you. You ended up walking into a cafe with Dazai holding the door open for you. "Wow, isn't this nice! You know what else is nice?" He asks you with a smile on his face. You raise an eyebrow. "What else is nice?" He places his hands on his hips while the two of you wait in line. "When you partake in kindness. Kindness such as paying for my food." You scoff. "No." His shoulders slump a little bit he pulls out his wallet and counts up the money he has. He opts to buy himself a muffin and watches you think about which smoothie you want. You decide on strawberry and tell the man at the counter your choice. Dazai asks for a muffin to go along with it and you furrow your eyebrows. "I thought we were paying separate?" He shrugs and sits through his wallet again. "You can pay me back later." A little impressed by the usually out of character gesture, you smile and thank him.

You receive your smoothie and he gets his muffin, walking out of the cafe together. His mind fills with thoughts of holding your hand while walking down the street together and he hums at the meer idea of it. It would feel so right. "Where should we go now?" You ask, sipping on your drink. "In this instance, I'd say anywhere we could find a beautiful woman to end my life with, but who needs some random woman when I have you?" He says, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. Your cheeks heat up and you playfully swat at his shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?" You say, a smile creeping into your face as well.

"Oh, nothing bad." He says. "I always want to die, but I wouldn't mind living in the moment with you right now." He says, looking straight ahead. "You know I like you, right?" He asks, turning his head towards you to see your stunned face. You stammer over your words but quickly blurt out an answer. "I-I mean, I had my suspicions but...I didn't wanna pin anything on you." You averted your eyes. You had been too wrapped up in your own feelings for him and subsiding them to realize that they were reciprocated this whole time. "You didn't." He says, his tone teasing and knowing. You roll your eyes. "I didn't have time to think about it." You say, grabbing his free hand in yours. "But I like you, too." He smiled and leaned over to bump his forehead against yours. "Good." You let out a breathy laugh and squeeze his hand before leaning your head on his shoulder. "Yeah..very good."

⑅Sigma⑅

• Sigma doesn't know how to deal with his feelings towards you. He knows it's more than friendship, but he's scared to lable it as romantic love.

ೃ⁀➷

Sigma was one of your closest friends, and one night you were able to tear him away from his work to hang out. You were in the middle of braiding his hair and sharing random stories in your life, specifically one about an elementary school crush, when he got quiet. Your fingers paused their movements and rested on his shoulders instead. "You alright? You got all silent all of a sudden." You ask him, rubbing circles into his shoulder with your thumb. "Yeah. Uh, when you were younger, how did you know if you liked someone? Especially so young. It feels so complex." You hum in thought and return to braiding. "Well, it's real rare that you find true love so young. Even in highschool, if you stay together with someone past graduation it's pretty impressive. But I don't think there's one set way of knowing...you could say there's a lot of things that factor into it. Like wanting to be around someone more, giving your all for them, things like that." You say, pulling some hair from the top layer back.

He nods in understanding. "Oh. That makes sense." You hum in the affirmative and tie the braid together with a hair tie and crawl to face his front. "Or like...your heart might speed up, your body might heat up, stuff like that. Sweaty palms, etcetera, etcetera." You say with a smile, sitting cross legged. He stares into your eyes, his eyes full of color and his lips are drawn into a tight line. "My- uhm, my heart is definetly speeding up." He stammers, his hands holding onto his ankles. You raise an eyebrow and examine his appearance; he was blushing. "Are you thinking about someone in particular?" You ask, feeling your heart pick up. You couldn't help but hope that his next response would be your name. "Yeah." Was all that he whispered as he switched from sitting costs legged to on his knees. "Is it weird when people confess to you? You must get confessions a lot, don't you?" He asks, his fingers anxiously rubbing the fabric of his pajama pants- the pajama pants that matched yours.

You leaned back on your arms. "Not particularly, but no, I don't think it's weird at all." You tell him. "So can I?" Your heart drops, even though you felt like the previous conversation was foreshadowing his confession. You nod and sit up, your full attention on the pale man. "Okay. I want to be in a relationship with you. I've never been in one before, so you'll have to bare with me, but I want nothing more than to be with you if you'll let me. You make me feel...at home." He says, his body closer to yours now as he hesitantly grabs your hand. Your heart felt touched and held in his hand because of his honest and sincere words and for a moment, you thought you were dreaming. You squeezed his hand caressed his knuckles your thumb. "You make me feel the same way..wow, you're gonna make me overheat.." You say, averting your eyes. He worriedly let's go of your hand and backs up.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fluster you." He says, a small frown on his face. You chuckle and take his hand back. "Don't worry about it, it's fine." You reassure him, interlocking your fingers with his and bringing his hand to your lips to kiss his knuckles. He does the same to your knuckles, gazing up at you through his light colored eyelashes. Once his lips parted from your skin, he stared at the glistening skin. "This is all so new, but I want to get used to it for you." He says. You giddily smile and reach out to cup his cheek and push some hair behind his ear. "Me too, Sigma."

A/n; hi guys so basically I think I'm gonna do a q&a and try to get to know y'all a little more and make some writer friends because I wanna get more in touch with the writing community ^^

[soukokuchild]

Today I'm offering you soukoku angst (cw: major character death)

Dazai lays on the ground, blood spilling out from the wound on his chest but he couldn't care less. Well, he hates the pain caused by the wound but at the same time he doesn't feel anything at all.

Perhaps there's one thing he feels: regret for getting the agency involved into his last suicide attempt. He knew from the very first moment that they couldn't have won that war, so why did they try?

Dazai doesn't know what happened to the agency members.

All he does now is just staring at his enemy above him with a relaxed smile on his face, his head on Chuuya's lap.

"Oi Dazai... remember that shitty song you used to sing to me years ago?" Chuuya asks looking at him. His usual loud and cocky voice is now raspy; the tiredness is palpable.

As soon as he saw the brunet collapsing on the ground Chuuya ran towards him kneeling by his side, conscious that it was a fatal injury.

"Oh gods no, not that song again..." Dazai's tired too but still manages to chuckle a bit, memories flowing into his mind.

Back in the Port Mafia Dazai loved to torment Chuuya by singing him "You are my sunshine" on the way for the ninth mission. From the start he enjoyed annoying Chuuya with such disgusting and playful love declarations which, as the time passed, were rooted till something more deeper blossomed, something that went beyond mere jokes. They didn't know exactly when those words turned out to be more truer than they could've imagined.

"Thank you, Chuuya." Dazai mutters feeling his eyelids getting heavier and his entire body number as the time goes by. That's so good Dazai thinks but there's still a part of him that aches knowing what he's leaving behind. Who is leaving behind, again.

"Don't say that. There's nothing to thank me for," there's a sad smile on the redhead's face hidden from Dazai's visual. "I killed you, afterall."

An heavy silence falls on them again, they seem not paying any mind to the war that surrounds them. They seem to not hearing the screams coming from the dying soldiers, the sound of shots and the despair that fills the air. Everything in that place is drenched with blood and death.

"Wasn't that our goal?"

Chuuya stays silent. It wasn't he would say but knows too well that if he says so, all Dazai's beliefs would crumble. How could he force someone who's already slipped away from his hands to live? Dazai always trusted Chuuya enough to put his own life into Chuuya's hands without any hesitation. It was obvious that Dazai would've asked Chuuya to end his sorrow. It would've been Chuuya the one to take Dazai's life away. It's an agreement they made way before their feelings surfaced. It's an agreement made with their first fight ever.

"Can you sing for me, chibi?" Dazai doesn't need to say what song he wants to hear. It's not the first time that Chuuya sings for Dazai but of course this one has to be special. Tragically special. When Chuuya starts singing, Dazai almost regrets not asking him to sing more when he had the chance. Almost because what they had has been enough to quiet his tormented heart down.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray"

For a brief moment Chuuya's lips quiver, his shaky voice shows what he's desperately trying to hide from his dying partner. It doesn't help Dazai who joins him and they sing along until Dazai is too tired to keep going. The bandaged detective can feel Chuuya's hands tremble but it doesn't stop him from stroking Dazai's hair.

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away."

That last sentence is barely a whisper and Chuuya doesn't dare to look down at Dazai. He closes his eyes and even though the battle rages on, the executive doesn't care anymore.

The song ends and Dazai is already gone. Chuuya places a soft kiss on his lover's forehead, careless of the tears streaming down his pale face.

"Don't expect to hear those words from me now that you're gone, Osamu. You know that I do."

[sensitiveheartless]

Where do you get all your ideas for these drawings and how do you actually find the strength to do them? Also what happens if you finish a piece and aren't satisfied with it?

Oof, oh man let's see...where I get my ideas from is a tough one, because I get bits of ideas from a lot of different places, and then they just ping around in the circus of my brain until they combine into something I want to make. And with soukoku specifically, there's something about them that appeals very strongly to my sense of humor (not just my sense of humor of course, but it was that aspect which drew me to skk initially), and that makes it easier for me to go "oooh, I want to draw them doing this", or "wouldn't it be funny if they—", etc.

Basically, because I think about them a lot, that leads to things like, say, me listening to the Little Mermaid soundtrack one day while cooking and thinking "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Chuuya was Sebastian and Dazai was the french Chef" and then running with it and writing a very very weird oneshot. Or, me taking a walk in the snow and thinking "hey what if soukoku were walking in the snow and then Dazai flopped over and started being dramatic about being Snow White" and then my Snow Day comic happened.

As for how I find the strength to do them (and unfortunately I feel like this isn't going to be a very inspirational answer): for me, drawing is a way that I process, calm myself down, and just...express myself. Ah, for example, that recent "Operation Quiet Heart" comic I made recently! I binge-drew that in about two days, because several things had happened to make me Very Stressed and Upset, and so I drew something silly but also comforting because I knew it would make me feel better. And it did! By the time I had sketched it out I had gone from a state of "I am about to either start biting people, or burst into tears" to "Okay I can manage this actually, it's not that big of a deal".

At this point, honestly, it's worse for me when I don't draw. A while ago I hurt my drawing hand while gardening and had to rest it, and in less than a day I started trying to teach myself how to draw with my non dominant hand, just so that I could make something. That's how feral I was going, not being able to draw anything. (I'm actually slowly getting better at left-hand drawing! Can't really do lineart very well yet, but I've occasionally used it for very loose coloring/non-precision stuff when my right hand needs a break.)

It's probably not the healthiest, but...I figure there are worse things I could rely on. Drawing daily has helped me get through some of the worst parts of my life so far—even at times when I couldn't express what I was feeling in words, I could still draw. I think that's just how my brain is wired, sometimes visuals are easier than words. (I like writing a lot, but it's definitely harder for me.)

Aaaand as for what I do when I don't feel satisfied with a piece—I'm gonna put the art ramblings under the cut, since this is already getting long—but the tl:dr is that it depends on how stubborn I'm feeling at the time :D

For example! Sometimes I finish a piece and go "eh", and then I just leave it!

Like this one! I don't hate it or anything, but after a while of messing around with it, it still wasn't quite what I wanted. Close, but not quite. Didn't quite like how Chuuya's hair turned out and such—so, I decided it was a learning experience and left it at that. Maybe I'll come back to the idea at a later point, but honestly I had no plan when I started this one and was just vibing, so I didn't take it as much of a loss.

And then sometimes I get really, really stubborn about a piece, and keep working at it until I get it to look how I want. For example, this one!

This one took me a WHILE, even just to figure out how I wanted the poses to work. I kept drawing sketches, turning off the layer and then trying again on a new layer. So first we had this:

But I felt like adding Dazai to this pose would be awkward, because he would be so eclipsed by Chuuya, so I tried again.

And nope, still didn't like it. having the profiles like this felt too stiff somehow, even though I liked how Dazai was holding on to him. (Also here's an example of me coming back to an idea later, because I recently made a side-profile-facing-corruption-piece that I ended up actually vibing with)

So, I tried again.

I don't have the full undersketch for this one, because I mangled it while drawing, but here—you can vaguely see what I was going for, mostly with where Dazai's arms are positioned. So I had the pose, but then of course there was the process of actually coloring it, and that was a whole other thing. Oh also Chuuya's face took a WHILE for me to get to a place where I didn't hate it.

Here I was mostly just trying to figure out base colors(and the background), and I ended up redoing almost all of it because I was being really sloppy—especially with Dazai's bandages and the curse marks on Chuuya's arms. Also Chuuya's head was a bit too large in proportion to his body, so I ended up selecting all those layers and shrinking it.

Getting closer, I fixed the curse marks and messed around with Chuuya's expression more (but I still didn't like it). Only now I felt like Dazai and Chuuya's heads were too zoomed out and small in this composition (also I tipped them too far back and now it looked like they were falling in a weird way), and also I wanted to add something else because I felt like Chuuya's hands were drawing a bit too much attention (plus it was a messy hand and I didn't feel like fixing it), so I decided to add a graviton to cover the hand and make that lower corner dark. I really wanted the focus to be Dazai's arms holding on to Chuuya.

So I changed Chuuya's expression again, adjusted the angle, zoomed it in, added the graviton, and then messed around with filters to get the colors more how I wanted them to look. And THEN I decided I was done, because I didn't want to overwork it, but yeah! That was one of the times where me being very persistent with a piece actually wound up with something I really liked.

Long answer short: sometimes when I don't like a piece I keep trying until I do, and sometimes I just let it be a learning experience, and try a different approach the next time.