#and then a bad sick day its like 40 or lower

[aashiqui-aashiqui]

starting to believe my immune system is compromised the way i get sick so often like this was funny maybe the first 3 times i got consecutively got sick but after the 20th time it gets a little frustrating you know

[babyisa1]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ sick cuddles/TOM

warnings: none, just fluff :)

3:45pm

you sniffle, coughing weakly as you dial toms number. the phone rings as you wait impatiently, curled up in a ball on your couch. the ringing stops, and toms name lights up on the screen.

„whats up schatz“ tom answers, your face softens slightly at the sound of his voice. „tom.. can you come over? please.“ you groan, your raspy voice being heard on the other end of the phone.

„are you okay baby? whats wrong?“ tom replies, quickly grabbing his jacket and heading out of his front door, as you hear his keys jangling through the phone. „im sick.. and i miss you“ you cough, shivering under your blanket.

„oh baby.. ill be right there“ tom reassures, you could hear the empathy in his voice. „thank you.. i love you“ you say, your head pounding. „i love you too schatz.. ill be there in 10min“ he replies lovingly before hanging up.

10min later you hear your front door rattling, as tom struggles to push through it while holding two bags of things he got for you to get better. „im here!“ he exclaims, you lift your head up, smiling brightly at the sight of him.

his eyes meet yours, aswell as the countless used tissues scattered across the floor. „when you said you were sick i thought you meant a cold, not the fucking plague!“ tom remarks, giggling. you groan, letting your head fall back on your pillow.

he walks into the apartment, dropping the bags on the coffee table infront of you and sitting on the edge of the couch, as you took over most of it. „youre going to be fine baby, let me take care of you“ he whispers, raising his hand to your face as he strokes your hair out of your face. you nod as he plants a soft kiss on your cheek, before rustling around in one of the bags.

you peel your eyes open as tom pulls out some medicine, it looked disgusting. it was the type of medicine you had to put on a spoon and swallow. he turns towards you, noticing the frown on your face. „its just one spoonful, it will help schatz“ he says, pouring the bright pink liquid on the spoon before nearing it to your mouth.

„open baby“ he says, as you hesitantly open your mouth and taste the medicine, swallowing quickly. „good girl.. see, that wasnt that bad right?“ tom praises, your face contorting into disgust at the taste. „fuck thats vile“ you cough, leaning back against the couch.

tom frowns, feeling terrible that you feel so sick. he lifts you softly so that youre sitting upright, before laying himself down on his back and pulling you ontop of him. you sigh out, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck taking in his sweet scent. „are you sure this is okay tom? i dont want to infect you..“ you mumble, your eyes fluttering shut. you couldnt fall asleep all day, but laying in toms arms made it impossible to stay awake.

„of course baby, getting sick is worth it if i means im here for you“ tom whispers, kissing your hair as he rubs his hands up and down your back to try and comfort you.

you smile against his neck, slowly slipping into your slumber. while you sleep, tom feels his heart ache at the sight of you. he hates when youre sick, or when you generally feel like shit. he always drops everything to be there for you when you needed him, you were his number one priority. (along with bill obvi ;))

trying not to move too much, he reaches over to one of the bags on the coffee table and pulls out a new thermometer. he honestly had no clue how to use it and he read the instructions for like 15 minutes before he gently placed it under your arm.

after two minutes, he pulls it out and gazes at the tiny screen. 40°C. „shit..“ he whispers, starting to worry more when he sees how high your fever is. he lifts his lower body carefully, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and googles recipes for chicken soup to make you later. all he knew how to make was sandwiches and cereal, but he put in loads of effort to make you better as soon as possible.

he stays awake while you sleep for good measure, making sure hes there for you when you wake up. around 30 minutes later, you stir in your sleep, groaning as your breathing becomes iregular. tom knows you inside and out, he knows the pace of your breathing while you sleep off by heart. as he realises you are about to wake up, he rubs your sides lovingly, pressing soft kisses in your hair.

you peel your eyes open, lifting your head up as tom gazes into them, a smile plastered on his face. „good morning sleepyhead“ he whispers, placing a warm kiss on your lips. you melt into it, stroking his cheek. he pulls away, a look of concern taking over. „youve got a really bad fever love, let me make you some chicken soup?“ he suggests, your faces just centimeters away from one another.

„since when do you know how to make soup?“ you giggle, pecking his lips again. „umm since like.. maybe 35 minutes ago?“ tom mumbles, feeling a bit embarrassed that he had to google a recipe for something as simple as soup. you smile brightly, while tom admires your beauty. even though you were super sick, had dark rings under your eyes and a red nose from using tissues so often, you still looked perfect to him. flawless. he couldnt understand how a human could be so beautiful, you were his miracle.

tom slowly sits upright pulling you with him. he stands up, reaching his hand out for you as you slowly get on your feet. „put your arm around my- or just fall on me, that works too“ he laughs as you stumble on him, your head pounding from standing up.

„shit- sorry“ you stammer, using his arm to stabilise yourself. „youve got nothing to apologise for baby“ he replies, guiding you towards the kitchen as he rubs the side of your arm gently.

the rest of the evening went smoothly, you ate the soup tom made you and it was delicious. you ended up watching a movie together, but heard tom snoring before it ended. you turned the tv off, snuggling into tom as you drift of to sleep.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

im ripping my hair out rn bc i NEED tom to do this for me ;-;

[lcstinfantasy]

little life update to explain my lower activity/communications

so obviously we all know my job takes its toll on me. mentally and physically. it always has. some days are better than others but being a vet tech is an exhausting jobs. from wrestling with 150-pound dogs, to getting attacked by a fractious cat, to having to put a family pet down -- it's not easy. that being said, our head doctor /owner has decided to set a goal for this month. so we usually average 125K a month in services because of how expensive a lot of testing and vaccines can be (we don't make the prices people it's the companies that make them or the labs and we have to make some type of profit -- that's business) but the goal is to make over 130K for the month of novemeber. the reasoning for this goal is that whatever we make over that 130k, will get split between the employees and put into our christmas bonuses. which is awesome, don't get me wrong. like if we make 140k, that's $1250 more in my bonus (our doctor is the sweetest old man and loves us like family) BUT the bad news that brings is that we will be slammed. for the 10 hours we work. work in appointments, regular appointments, more sick animals, more tech appointments, more blood draws, more x-rays, more baths, etc, all in those hours. it already started today and it's been hell. my back hurts, my knees hurt, my head hurts -- i am EXHAUSTED AND SORE.

so that being said, i don't know what my activity is going to look like going forward. some days i might have energy for a reply or two, i might not. i am not going to push myself too much. so i know i am already slow, but i will be slower going forward with replies. same with talking ooc. when i am tired, burnt out, and overwhelmed, i tend to withdraw. it's nothing on the person or anything, this is very much me not having spoons to give other people. i got to do that for 40+ hours a week as it is and then when i come home i have to have a spoon for my husband cause the man is needy, and by the time i relax -- i just wanna not think.having conversations feel like a lot of work (i promise you i am avoid everyone and everything lol -- it's not personal)

and i know some of y'all are gonna say i don't have to explain myself and such -- but after a few encounters in life it's just become a habit. i don't want anyone to feel like i am ignoring them, pulling away, or don't want to associate with them. mu brain just can't handle a lot lol.

love you all lots for sticking around and putting up with me!

[sextions]

gonna fucking kill someone today. had to look around for security cameras in this room before writing this cuz im in a fucking prison for young people and every day our rights get stripped further and further and they expect us to function normally after being spat out after graduation. i'm not going to college. my mom is gonna yell at me for that but i'm fucking not i don't care what she thinks. the stupid fucking vending machine next to me has a goddamn 'calories count check then choose' label on it. what fucking performative stupid goddamn bullshit that dumbass label is the thing that tipped me over the edge into making this stupid post. maybe don't sell death sugary slop to people and they won't have this goddamn issue of everyone being too fat and mentally ill to make it into the meat grinder that is the military. i know food choice has little to do with how your body fat works shut up about it already i was gonna go to college for nutrition i know how that shit works. but if i went they'd likely still be in the "being obese is YOUR fault" phase of food and health knowledge and i just i cannot bear paying thousands and thousands of dollars to get some info that is objectively false according to recent studies. god. i'm so sick of this shit once i graduate i'm literally never going into another institiution again literally they cannot make me this is such bullshit. has anyone else read john taylor gatto? changed my life. this stupid asshole next to me can't handle the word 'moist' and makes a huge show of how much she hates it every time it's uttered and it's like god i wish i was that sheltered. i wish the biggest problem in my head was how much i hated the word moist. what a stupid thing to attract attention to yourself for. shut up. everyone just shut up. the music in my headphones shut up. dumb fucking assholes shut up. all the freshman who are lower than the sea life stuck to the bottom of a cruise ship shut the FUCK up. you're not funny for saying nkgger you don't even hate black people that much you're just ignorant and want attention. your material is derivative and unoriginal and you cannot find genuine vulnerability and appreciation for beauty because you're too busy being poisoned by your peers into thinking everything is stupid and one day one of you is gonna kill themselves and everyone else will joke about it because what else do you know to do. it's sad really the way we are raising these men. panera lemonade killed a girl. caffeine users will really find meth and adderall users disgusting failures because they "use drugs" unlike the fucking. caffeine users who also use drugs but oooo its so normalized you know what else is normalized? driving 80 miles a goddamn hour down the interstate. that's so scary what the fuck. why does nobody care how fast we are going. why is everyone going so fast going 90 95 down the interstate the world needs to fucking slow down and i'm so serious. we need to wake up slower and get to school slower and my classes went from an hour or so to 40 minutes and the teachers barely even skim over anything anymore and tiktok is still this fucking cancer on society that makes people think mass surveillance for "weird" "clickable" behavior is normal and im tearing my hair out every day because people are AMAZED i don't have the no attention span give me all your data and buy products off of our app app. god. tik tok made me buy it is the most pre-packaged artificial stupid fucking slogan ever it always ruins my mood seeing that stupid fucking section at walmart. like are you kidding me. companies are so bad at trying to seem human anymore. you have to astroturf everything because if the people do it themselves they might THINK or ACHIEVE SOMETHING for once. i don't even think i used astroturfing right. it's got the same vibe of taking something from the people (self-advertisement to a different site or product) and hijacking it and making your own fucking store so people can give the money to you instead. its so crazy and nobody talks about how tiktok has a STORE. like it's normal.

everything makes me want to scream. i will never truly fully get a break from this. everyone is getting angrier and angrier but i dunno if we're at a breaking point yet. i might not live to see the revolution which bums me out but i try to keep optimistic about that. i saw that republican debate today and got such strong second hand embarrassment. that shit is no better than jersey shore at this point. and these are the people we're supposed to aim to be like? people who are qualified to be presidents? people who are so reactionary and childish that they throw insults at one another in a politics debate like a bunch of middle schoolers parroting what their parents say at each other? are you fucking kidding? john gatto was right the rich are so fucking good at extending adolescence into adulthood. look at these people over thirty engaging in high school behavior to appease the other high school masses who'll tweet and click and talk about it (like high schoolers) and then the debate cuts to an ad break because money money money money money money. they probably already have the president decided and this is all one big billboard or something. i dunno. drugs are seen as a moral failure but like what else is there to do in this goddamn fucking world we've made. i didn't ask for this.

[whump-a-la-mode]

A hero is in a coma. Villain visits them every single day, loosing sleep, not eating, their life is now completely focused around the empty hospital room.

Until hero wakes up and notices how sick villain has become due to anxiety and not taking care of themselves. Caretaking?

This is such a cute ask!! There’s only a little caretaking, but as always I’d be happy to write some more ^^

To all non-Americans out there, I am so sorry for using our weird 12 hour clock in this piece

CW//Comas, medical settings, just some horrible self care, mentions of explosions, bad hygiene, sleep deprivation, low self esteem, blaming self, strong language

“How are they doing?”

The voice alone was enough to make Doctor jump, spinning on their heels with such quickness that their shoes squealed on the tiled hospital floor.

Oh. It was just Villain.

Just Villain. It was a ridiculous thought to have, and they were well aware of that fact. Only a few short weeks ago, the name would have been enough to make any well-minded civilian tremble. It was bad enough, to hear it spoken on the news. Worse, to hear it not coming from a television-- in some cases, that name was all the warning one was given, before a terrible fate befell them. A nameless causality in the never-ending battle of good and evil.

But, now, there was no terror associated with it.

Most hospitals, Doctor was well aware, were fortunate enough that villains did not often pass through their doors. When they did, in the best cases, it was to seek treatment. In the worst cases, they had far more destructive intentions.

Their hospital, however, was an exception. There is a saying, that one can get used to anything, and with their experience, they now believed it to be more than true.

Doctor sighed, letting their shoulders fall.

“Visiting hours are over, Villain. You need to go home.”

The villain’s eyes widened, flickering momentarily to the nearest clock. In fact, it was past the end of visiting hours. Well past. Night rounds were about to begin, even.

It was simply so easy to forget Villain, hunched over in their little plastic chair.

Especially with those big, pathetic eyes with which they regarded Doctor.

“I can’t leave.” They pleaded. “Not yet. Can’t I stay just another hour?”

“No, Villain. We’ve been over this. You can come back tomorrow, bright and early, right at seven.”

“But it’s eleven, now! That’s eight hours. Eight hours they’ll be alone.”

“Not alone.” Doctor bit their lower lip. They knew full well that the person before them could render them to a charred corpse in mere seconds, if they so wished. Their tense, skipping heartbeat wouldn’t let them forget it. But, there was no malice in their eyes. Not an ounce. Only that terrible, pitiful sorrow. The sorrow that never seemed to leave them. “There’s people here, all night. A whole medical staff. If anything happens, they won’t be alone. I promise.”

Villain’s lip quivered. Weren’t they supposed to be dangerous?

“You’re sure I can’t stay? Just another hour?”

“I’m sure.”

“O-Okay.” The villain reached into their shoulder bag, and, for a moment, Doctor nearly pressed the nearest panic alarm. Yet, they withdrew no weapon. Instead, Villain took a small, spiral-bound notebook in hand, offering it. “Here are my notes. Um, just so you know. What they did today.”

Doctor’s gaze downcast to the paper. They already had three of these, piled on their desk. Filled to the brim. This one had only recently been started.

The page the notebook was turned to displayed the same thing as all the rest: Impeccably neat handwriting, dividing the page into half hour blocks. In each, letters of equal quality described the patient’s condition, down to the most minute detail.

3:30 - Minor twitching of the eyelids accompanied by singular irregular heartbeat.

4:00 - No abnormalities.

4:30 - Twitching of left index finger.

5:00 - Abnormal breath at around 5:12.

It was the best-kept record of a comatose patient’s condition that Doctor had ever seen. Even if it wasn’t exactly helpful, with how repetitive the patient’s movements tended to be, it was downright impressive.

“Thank you, Villain. I’ll tell the receptionist to expect you at seven?”

“Is there any chance I could come in earlier than that?”

“No. I’m sorry. Visiting hours start at seven.”

“I’m quiet. You know I’m quiet. I won’t be a bother to anybody.”

“I know, Villain. If...” They knew they needed to say something, or this argument would continue all night long. “If anything happens, we have your number on file. I’ll call you myself.”

“Really?” Their eyes widened. “You promise?”

“I promise. Now, you need to go home.”

“Okay.”

“You won’t hide in the bathroom and try to stay late this time?”

“You saw?”

“Everyone saw, Villain. Now, you’ve gotta skedaddle.”

The villain nodded hesitantly, looking to their shoes as they turned, moving down the hallway. As they left, Doctor could not help but mutter in their wake:

“And get some rest.”

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Six weeks.

Those two words echoed hollowly in Villain’s mind as they plodded along the damp sidewalk, lit only by the dewy echoes of streetlights overhead. The hour was late enough, and the city tired enough, that the streets were nearly deserted-- a state they were in so very rarely.

Their henchmen had spoken to them so many times, lecturing them that moving through the city’s depths, alone and unprotected, was terribly dangerous. Any hero, or any vigilante too cocky for their own good, could try their luck in an ambush.

But, Villain could hardly bring themself to care.

Six weeks.

That was all they cared about.

Six weeks since Hero had moved. Six weeks since they’d spoken, since they’d awoken. Exactly six, now.

Exactly six weeks since...

Villain’s hands clenched to fists at their sides, overgrown nails digging into the meat of their palms.

Since they’d made the biggest mistake of their life. Since the two sworn nemeses, Hero and Villain, light and dark, good and evil, had had their final battle. An industrial sabotage gone wrong.

They should have known better! Better than to use their pyrokenisis in an oil refinery.

But, that hadn’t. They hadn’t been thinking. They never thought! They were so stupid, so reckless, so careless...

Villain’s ears still rung from the explosion.

Their injuries meant nothing, even as they still throbbed. No. Because, for the last six weeks, they had been awake. Moving. Talking.

Hero hadn’t been so lucky.

When they at last arrived at their HQ, the halls were silent. Life existed only in the form of a scattering of guards, nodding their respects, but making no other gestures.

It was with weary legs that Villain ascended to their bedroom. They hardly noticed its state-- they’d grown used to the scatterings of clothes and papers. Instead, upon opening the door, their eyes snapped to the bed.

More specifically, the item upon it. They rushed to it, yanking it off the mussed blankets.

A book. A note, upon its cover.

“Went to bed before I could give this to you. It’s that book you wanted - Henchman”

Villain removed the note, far more interested in the cover it hid.

A Neurologist’s Guide to Chronic Vegetative States

There were more than enough pages within to last them until sunrise; until visiting hours at last recommenced.

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At 5:40, the sun began its ascent, bathing the sky in a dull hue of blue.

When six o’ clock came, the first rays of light could be seen, flashing over the horizon.

With the strike of 6:10, Villain placed down their book. They were only around halfway through-- wandering eyes and brief minutes of dozing lowering the speed at which their foggy mind could process the medical textbook.

They would have more than enough time to read, the next night. The book didn’t matter. What mattered was that visiting hours would commence in 50 minutes, exactly.

Twenty minutes to walk to the hospital. Meaning that, to get there early, they needed to leave in fifteen.

Rubbing sleep from their eyes, Villain rose from their chair, knees popping and cracking all the way to the bedroom door. Quickly, they changed into the cleanest clothes they could find, if only for the sake of appearances, before heading out.

Showering could wait. Showers took time, time that could be spend watching. Reading. Taking notes.

Helping. Doing anything, anything they could to help.

Emerging into the hallway, they startled a moment. The lights had already been turned on, despite the fact that their henchmen never awoke this early. Perhaps they had simply forgotten to turn them off the night prior.

Yet, there were noises, from downstairs.

There was no fear left in their body to feel. Justifications were quickly made, and they ran down the stairs.

Entering the kitchen, a scent hit Villain, forceful as a gust of wind. The scent of food-- warm and fresh and garnished with garlic.

Before the stove, Henchman stood. Out of all those Villain employed, Henchman was the least likely to be awake at such an hour. Often, they dragged themself from bed well after ten.

Yet, here they stood, flipping a pancake in a skillet.

“Hey, boss.” Their henchman turned, a grin glimmering upon their face. “I’m almost done here. Get yourself something to drink.”

Villain blinked.

“What... are you doing?”

“Making breakfast? I thought that’d be pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, I can see that. But... Why? You never eat breakfast.”

“Yeah. It’s not for me. ‘s for you, boss.”

They shook their head, glancing at the clock. 6:17.

“I’m not hungry. Besides, I really need to get going.”

“Boss.” There was an endeared, yet frustrated, tone to the voice. “When was the last time you ate?”

“You made me eat a granola bar yesterday.”

“And the day before that, you didn’t eat anything. So, you’re eating breakfast, if I have to shove it down your throat.”

They clenched their hands to fists.

“I don’t have time for this! Visiting hours are going to start soon. I need to be there.”

“No. You need to eat. Then you can go to the hospital.”

“You don’t get to decide that. I need to go. I’m sorry.”

“Boss.” Henchman slid the pancake onto a plate before deftly stepping between their boss and the front door. “I don’t mean to be blunt, but you look like hell. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Everyone knows it. If you keep acting like this, you’re going to be the one in a hospital bed.”

Villain gritted their teeth.

“Maybe that’s what I deserve. Now, fuck off. Get someone else to eat your damn pancakes.”

With those words, and furious footsteps, they emerged onto the sidewalk outside.

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When Receptionist arrived at their desk, there was already a patron, sitting in their waiting room.

A few short weeks ago, such would have been unusual. While other parts of the hospital were occupied day and night, the appointments handled by this room did not begin until the hospital actually opened-- right at seven.

Now, though, there was nothing strange about it.

Before they could so much as sit down, Villain was already moving towards them.

Receptionist could not help but note their appearance.

Working in a hospital, they had long since grown used to seeing the sick and injured. And yet, there was something particularly distressing about this case.

They supposed, it was because they had seen it happen. Usually, when patients arrived at the hospital, it was because they could no longer manage their own conditions. Their bodies were in shambles. They showed up in their damaged states.

Villain, on the other hand, had first appeared to the waiting room is relatively good health.

Then, they had begun to appear tired.

And thin.

Now, their appearance matched that of the comatose patient that they were here to see. Skin clung taught about their cheekbones, their flesh pale and eyes glazed over. Most semblances of hygiene had been abandoned entirely; some parts of their hair had even begun to mat, and dirt clung to them like caked and cracked makeup.

But, there was something else in their eyes. The sheer essence of undying compassion.

It was that alone that prevented Receptionist from sending them away.

Villain had no need to speak. As soon as they had time to sit, the hospital employee had paged the proper floor-- a sequence of buttons that had quickly become muscle memory.

“You can go up, now.” They spoke. With a wearied nod, Villain moved to begin their ceaseless watch.

Neither of them could have guessed that, an hour later, the unthinkable would come true.

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When Hero awoke, it was to the sound of a pencil, scratching at paper.

The world filled in with a terrible, exhaustion tedium. Above them, blurs of white and grey turned to a sterile, white tile, while the world about solidified to four pale, beige walls.

A hospital. They’d been in enough to recognize as such, with just how clumsy their teammates tended to be.

But why were they here, now...? Who had gotten hurt, this time? They couldn’t quite remember.

Rolling onto their side, the question was quickly answered.

Villain appeared to be on death’s doorstep, about to press the doorbell. Matted hair clung to their neck, eyes drooping and skin appearing as though there was no blood beneath it at all.

At the very least, they had made it to the hospital before suffering any serious damage.

Wait.

It was only then that Hero realized who exactly was in the room’s hospital bed.

[mejomonster]

Maybe happy health news

So I'd been dealing with POTS symptoms (and still sorta am). But basically fainting, dizziness, and the worst ones for me to deal with which were intense fatigue and my heart rate was 120-150 bpm when standing doing nothing. 120+ sitting, when trying to work. Heart rate would go to resting normal range of under 100 if I laid down. That was it.

My doctor got me compression socks, salt tablets (to take when dizzy/fatigued), and recommended to keep taking electrolytes too. So I did his advice. We figured out my worst fatigue tends to coincide with a very low blood pressure, and he told me to take more salt those days/more electrolytes (which has so far helped a TON... so far no more fainting, collapsing, and I've been able to actually go for a walk or take my nieces somewhere or drive or stand up long enough to grocery shop). I also started a POTS exercise protocol, cause I figured I could tolerate it since occasionally on a low fatigue day I could still walk or dance a little while. The protocol was strength training (mainly abs and legs) and cardio. Honestly I just did the strength training, since my goal was to dance again like normal so anytime I felt good enough to stand more than 5 minutes I TRIED to dance/walk so I figure for the cardio/heart rate targets I was probably already doing something close.

I also started orilissa for endometriosis. Now I don't know if endo causes tachycardia. But if it does? Then wow fuck does treating it help. I've been on it 2.5 weeks and my bloating is finally going down a little, pain is down 40%, I can eat reliably again. So like... to be fair idk if the POTS treatment things im doing are helping or the orilissa as far as fatigue and tachycardia.

But something is making a dent! My blood pressure hasn't dropped as low as often (great news for my fatigue), and the quick fix of "take more electrolytes and salt if it is low" also seems to fix the low blood pressure (and lessen my fatigue and dizziness) within an hour or so. The strength training is I think one of the Most helpful things? After about 2 weeks of strength training I was able to Stop wearing compression socks (the compression socks were helping my heart rate go about 20 bpm lower - so if I'm normally 130 resting heart rate, it was letting my resting heart rate sit at 110 which was helpful). Now, without compression socks, TODAY my resting standing heart rate was 61-82 bpm!!!! NORMAL RANGE BABY

My fatigue today was also reasonably low. I'm not at 100% of what I used to be able to do but I was maybe an 8/10 of my old normal today (so like... if in the past I had a day I ran on 5 hours sleep but managed to get everything done and go out? That's how I felt today). Whereas I have been sitting at 5-6/10 energy level on my usual good days (can sit up okay for work with breaks to lie down, maybe do 1 necessary task involving standing like dishes or shower, maybe do 1 small activity like a walk around block or dance for 5 minutes or hang out with friends for 2ish hours before I'm exhausted). And my bad days last month I've been a fucking 2-3 (collapsing, unable to work, unable to stay awake and sleeping a lot, but able to function and focus sometimes though exhausted when lying down). So like....what I managed to do today is fucking phenomenal for me. It's a usual person's tiring day!!! It's an amount of tasks I used to be able to do!!! I only had to sit down and rest a few times!!!

The past few days my resting heart rate has been really fucking good - for me. It's been 60s at least a little bit, which is just awesome to even see. Last week it was at like 90-110 resting heart rate without compression socks (and 80-100 with compression socks). So these past few days, for it to be mostly under the 100 range? Awesome (overall it's going from 60-120 but mostly its around 80-100 now which is great and what my heart rate USED to be when standing and resting before I got this year of being sick). So yeah, future me, not sure what you're doing right specifically but if you get worse reference this because there's definitely Something significantly helping.

[aceinspace691]

40 for the ask thing :D not sure if we're allowed to add more to it but id love it if it was the dteam. if not all good!

Yes, thank you for the prompt! Yeah, for these, you cant be as detailed or as minimal as you want; all I ask for is a pairing and a prompt number, which you gave me :] Thanks again for the prompt and I hope you enjoy! (I may have gone a bit overboard haha...)

I made this sort of a pet au, and this is going to a be a bit angsty at first, but then I'll add in some fluff :D I made Sapnap the giant in here because he definitely seems like the type to be overly enthusiastic and unaware of how the tinies were actually feeling.

Prompt list can be found here! Please send more in, I’d love to write some more :]]

Warnings for: Dehumanization, referring to a person as 'it,' treating people like pets, swearing, fear

Word Count ~ 1250

--------A Bit More Human--------

Sapnap shifted the tiny beings in his hands, leg bouncing in excitement as he observed them. He had bought them earlier that day. They were a new oddity that the world had recently discovered and he'd decided to buy both of them, seeing as it seemed to cause the other distress when he grabbed the one in blue.

"You guys are so cool!" His voice was loud, and he didn't notice how they flinched in his hands. His eyes darted to the one in a green cloak as it moved a bit. "Let me get you guys back in your cage real quick and I'll get something to play with you guys."

He walked briskly over to his cage and slid the two of them off into the cage, which was lined with the shredded material found in hamster cages. The beings pulled at their collars nervously as he grabbed the harnesses to attach the leash to.

He turned away to make sure the harness and leash were properly connected and looked back at the sound of a small click. He locked his gaze with the one in blue, who froze, its hands holding the green collar.

Without thinking, Sapnap shot his hand out, wrapping it around the one in blue and dragging it through the air to be closer to his eyes. He reached out his other hand to grab the collar out of its hand, but didn't make it that far.

"GEORGE!" The voice was full of fear and desperation.

Sapnap froze, lowering that other hand as he looked around in confusion. His gaze rested on the other tiny, in the cage. It looked pale all of a sudden, and it scrambled back as Sapnap leaned closer. It seemed to hesitate before it stiffly took a step closer.

"Please put him down. Don't hurt him." The voice pleaded and Sapnap's brain short-circuited, staring blankly at the tiny being. At the lack of response, the being's pleading grew more intense and desperate. "Please, it was my idea, I'll put it back on, just please don't hurt him."

Sapnap finally registered everything and was flooded with a sense of overwhelming guilt. He placed the one in blue back into the cage, pulling out his phone numbly. He dialed Bad, the other greeting him with a cheery tone.

"Bad, I fucked up."

"Hey, language!" His friend chastised, but then his mind must have caught up because it was followed by, "Oh, wait, what happened? Are you okay?"

"It's just, I got those new tiny things as pets, except apparently they're able to.. Uh, I don't know. They were skittish when I bought them, but..." He sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "I didn't know they were actually afraid of me..."

"Oh, Sapnap.." The voice on the other end was sympathetic. "Are they still in the room with you?"

"Yeah..." He glanced over at the two, noting how they were watching him intently. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Then talk with them," Bad encouraged, "and try to make this better, okay? Call me if you need anything, you muffinhead."

"Bad, what-" The call went silent and he lowered his phone, kneeling slowly in front of the cage. It was one where the lid came off, so he was still staring through the bars. He noticed how they were shifting constantly, the one in blue's hands on his collar.

They were people. Sapnap felt sick, wishing he'd noticed beforehand. He opened his mouth to speak, licking his lips as they suddenly felt dry.

"I, um.. You can take that off." He pushed away the extra guilt that come from the expression of disbelief on that tiny face. It looked so human and he couldn't believe he hadn't connected the dots sooner. "I'm really sorry, and, oh!"

The tinies jumped at the increase in volume, huddling closer as the other collar slipped off and cringing as Sapnap removed the front wall of the cage. He backed away a few steps.

"You don't have to forgive me," he began with, heart pounding, "but I'm really sorry I scared you. And like, bought you. And, uh, didn't treat you like people." Silence met him, and he cleared his throat slightly. "You don't have to stay here either, but I promise if you do, you won't be, like, pets or anything."

"Um," That was the one with the blue one, and Sapnap was shocked to hear a different accent then the other's. "You're going to let us go?"

Sapnap's heart felt heavier as he nodded. He knew that they didn't have to forgive him, but he'd hoped that they would anyway. But, regardless, he'd keep his word.

He was met with relieved smiles from both of them, and he offered a tense one in reply. The two stepped forward slowly, looking around and realizing that they were high up. Sapnap realized this too, and he reached for them without thinking.

He froze as he was met with startled yelping, quickly bringing his hand close to his body.

"Sorry! Sorry..." He felt humiliation and shame course through him and he felt his face redden. He just kept messing up. "I was just going to move you somewhere you could move easier, um," he slowly moved his hand to rest palm up near them, ignoring how they scrambled away, "does this work?"

The one in green looked up at him through eyes that seemed to be weighing their options. He whispered to the one in blue before they both nodded and stepped closer to his hand. He noted their hesitation and tried to hold as still as possible as they started to finally step on.

He was careful as he slowly brought the hand up to his chest, other hand hovering nearby in case something happened. He tensed a bit as he took a step and felt the two lean against his chest.

"Um, where do you guys wanna go?"

"The kitchen." The one in green said, glancing up at him and watching carefully. "Just like, on the counter or something."

Sapnap looked a bit surprised but he didn't comment on it, simply nodding and taking careful, steady steps toward the kitchen. Before long, they were there and h place his hand on the counter for them to get off.

"Wait, um, before you go," Sapnap said, feeling a bit guilty at the way they froze. He was quick to shake his head slightly as he continued, "I, um, it's nothing crazy, and I'm not going to bother you or anything after this, so you'll never have to deal with me if you don't want to, but could I at least know your names? I'm Sapnap."

A moment passed. Then another. The two on the counter exchanged a look and seemed to have a silent conversation before they responded.

"I'm Dream." The one in green said slowly, as if he was gauging Sapnap's reaction. When the latter simply gave a small nod and smile, he continued. "And he's George."

"Nice to meet you, uh, this way, I guess." Sapnap straightened himself, feeling oddly huge and out of place in front of them. He turned to leave, but was stopped by the accented voice-George.

"You won't try to catch us or anything?"

Sapnap glanced over his shoulder with an earnest half-smile. "Nope."

He ignored the feeling of warmth and hope he got in his chest when he heard "See you around then, Sapnap." and knew that he'd have a chance to make everything okay.

[muilkyu]

Cuddling With Treasure

🐷 Hyunsuk 

"I can't get the laptop to connect," you complain. The screen has just been loading for the past 10 minutes trying to find a connection that apparently doesn't exist. 

"Just connect your phone instead," Hyunsuk suggests. 

"I already tried, I just don't think the TV wants anyone to connect," you explain shutting the laptop, "Should we just watch it on my phone?" 

"The screen will be too small to see from the table," he points out, "Here come lay down. I'll hold the phone up till the episode is over." 

"Are you sure? Isn't your arm going to hurt," you question. 

He shakes his head, "No I'll be fine." 

You end up laying on his chest as he holds up his phone. You keep asking if his arm is getting tired, but he softly denies insisting he is fine. 

🐼 Jihoon

"My arm is going to fall asleep," Jihoon grumbles, shuffling his arm around under your head. 

"Not my fault you forgot the pillows," you snicker snuggling up into his arm. 

"I thought they would have chairs," he replied under his breath. 

"You're a talkative pillow," you tease. 

"I'm never going to win this debate am I?" 

"You already know the answer to that question."

🐯 Yoshi

"I'm so sleepy," you yaw, stretching your arms up into the air. 

"We still have a long time till we are back in Seoul," he says looking at the map. Both of you decided that it would be fun to have a day outside of Seoul. It was nice out so you decided to visit Daejeon. The trip itself was not long, just a half a day trip, but it was tiring walking around all day. 

"How much longer?" 

"We have 40 more minutes till we get near Seoul," he replies. 

"I can take a small nap then," he decides. Then he tries to find a comfortable position to lay his head on the window. If he sleeps that he will get a neck cramp. 

"Don't lay like that you will hurt yourself. Lay your head on my shoulder, it will be more comfortable," you suggest. 

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yeah, you should sleep. You deserve to rest. I had a really great time today all thanks to you," you smile. 

Laying his head on your shoulder he lets out a soft thank you.

🐨 Junkyu

"Are you still feeling nauseous?" You ask Junkyu.

He weakly shakes his head, "No, I think it passed. I'm cold now."

"You're under 2 blankets right now. I don't have another. I could turn up the heat," you suggest.

"No, then you'll be hot," he points out.

"I'll be fine as long as you are comfortable."

"Can you lay with me?" He asks.

"If you want, sure," you answer back.

Junkyu smiles for the first time that day then, "Thank you for taking care of me."

🐹 Mashiho

"I want cuddles," Mashiho demands when he walks through the door of your dorm. 

You take the bag from his hand laughing, "Wow no 'Hello' or anything." 

Walking past you he gets comfortable on the couch, then opens his arms, "Nope. I haven't seen you in a week. It's time for cuddles." 

"What if I don't want cuddles," you counter. Then you go to place the food on the table. 

"Then I'll have to steal them." 

"I would like to see you try." 

That statement was a mistake. Mashiho takes it to heart. He chases you around the dorm. Screams and shouts leave your mouth when he finally catches you. 

"Can I have my cuddles now?" 

You fake a thinking look taping your chin and all, "I suppose." 

🦁 Jaehyuk

"I thought I had put them in my bag for sure," you complain, shuffling through your tote bag. This morning you were sure you had placed your earbuds in the small side holder. 

Jaehyuk wanted to take a trip to Yeosu to see the beaches. He set everything up. He planned out the bus route, bought the train tickets, and planned out the tourist stops. Now without your earbuds, you will have to sit through a 3-hour train ride without music. 

"You probably just left them at home," Jaehyuk points out. It's too late to go back, you are already on the train. You're still looking through your bag desperately, "We can just share my AirPods."

You stop looking through your bag looking up a little hesitant, "Are you sure?" 

"Of course." 

After the earbud situation. Jaehyuk and you settle down for the rest of the long ride. As you reach the hour and a half point though looking out the window makes you sleepy. Jaehyuk seems to notice you nodding so he sets your head on his shoulder. Cuddling up to him you allow yourself to fall asleep in his warmth. 

🤖 Asahi

The woman slowly creeps her way into the room. There is obviously a ghost haunting her, but she's too stupid to realize. Who just walks into a room with a creep rocking chair moving on its own? She still goes inside the room like an idiot. You then slowly raise my hands to cover your ears because you know the door is going to slam behind her. Sure enough, it does. Okay, that wasn't that bad. It's only when she turns around to see the ghost behind her that reaches for her neck strangling her that you finally scream. Covering your eyes with your hands you block yourself from looking at the screen. 

Asahi is sitting right next to you. He doesn't even seem to flinch at the movie. Even when you screamed he just looked at you. He really is a robot sometimes. 

"No I can't watch this," you confess, "How are you not scared?" 

"I don't know it's kinda predictable," he shrugs. 

"Still you don't jump at all. Are you a robot? Are we secretly in I'm Not A Robot? Is this a k-drama?" 

"Neither of us is Korean why would it be a K-drama?" Asahi says, he has a point. 

"True. Can we watch someone else though?" You suggest, "Let's watch P.S. I Still Love You." 

"You've watched that a million times," Asahi complains. 

"Every time it gets better and better. Plus we all know Ambrose is way hotter than Kavinsky," you rant on already reaching for the remote. 

He just yawns, "Fine but I'm going to sleep." He moves so his feet are handing off the edge of the couch and his head is placed in your lap. 

"You can't lay on my lap. My feet will fall asleep," you groan pushing his head up only for him to fall back down. 

"If we have to watch this cheesy movie, then you have to let me nap." 

"Fine." And with that, he falls asleep on your lap facing the TV. The movie plays in the background with you softly playing with strands of his hair. 

🦊 Yedam 

"I started working on a new song for the talent show," Yedam says. 

 "I thought you weren't going to audition." 

 He shrugs, "I changed my mind last minute." 

 "What song are you thinking about performing." 

 "I actually wrote a song," he says a bit timidly, "I can play it for you actually. I made it on the bus home the other day." 

 "I can't believe you actually wrote a song," you smile back in disbelief, "Can I hear it?" 

🐰 Doyoung

"Look in my bottom drawer. It's a little pink cow," you tell Doyoung. He looks through the drawer for the pink cow when he finds it he lets out a relieved 'ah'. 

"Okay, what do I do now?" 

"Fill the belly up with hot water," you instruct. He hums and then a few minutes later he is back with the hot pack. 

"Thank you." You say then place the pack down on your lower belly. The immediate warmer starts working its magic. 

"Yeah, do you need anything else?" Doyoung asks. 

Nodding you ask for him to just hold you.

🐏 Haruto

Rubbing your hands together you let out an irritated sigh, "Are we heading back soon?" 

"Yeah. I'm just waiting for my hot dog to be done," Haruto replies.

The line to the stand is long. It's the middle of winter in Korea which means it's beyond freezing. Today was supposed to be a stay inside with a blanket day, but Haruto wanted to see a movie. So you bundled up just enough for a few hours and made your way out in the cold. It was supposed to just be a movie and then back home, but Haruto really wanted a hot dog with cheese. You agreed thinking it would only take a few minutes. You were wrong. 

"Can't you just order one to the dorms?" You ask, still rubbing your fingers together. The hot packs you had given out about an hour and a half ago. 

"No, it's break remember. We can't order after 9." He reminds you. 

"Then I think I'm going to head back early. It's too cold to wait." 

Haruto doesn't seem to like that idea by the looks of that, "No stay here let me warm you up." Haruto then wraps his arms around your shoulder pulling you into his body warmth. It doesn't help much, but it is a cute gesture so you stay until he gets his dumb hot dog. 

🐺 Jeongwoo

"10 feet apart," Jeongwoo demanded walking backward.

"Stop being dramatic," you say walking forward he proceeded to take some steps back. 

"No, we are supposed to be social distancing." 

"You did not just pull that card on me."

Jeongwoo just shrugs, "That sucks no cuddles." 

"You have the common cold. You're not going to kill me." You say walking closer. 

He takes a step back, "See we don't know that."

You take another step forward, "No we do know." 

"Still no hugs or cuddles," he takes another step back. So you take another step forward and his back hits the wall. 

"Now you're trapped," before he can move around you put him into a hug, "I win." 

"Fine, but I'm only hugging you for 2 minutes," Jeongwoo declares hugging you back. 

🐮 Junghwan

"I think I'm sick," Junghwan tells you during homeroom. It's early morning just around 8 am. 

You place a hand on his forehead, "Your forehead isn't hot. Did you take some medicine?" He shakes his head. The face he is sporting is actually making you kind of sad. His eyes are downcast which means he's not playing around, "Should I take you to the nurse?" 

"No, maybe I should just rest," he replies. He moves his workbook to the side of his death and places his head down, arms folded to act as a makeshift pillow. 

"Class starts in 15 minutes. Also, you'll get a cramp laying like that," you warn. 

Sitting up Junghwan sighs, "You know what your right," To your surprise, he then pulls your chair closer putting his head on your shoulder. His arms wrap around your waist very tenderly, "Be my pillow." 

This gains some states from people in the classroom. Calling him out will only make a bigger scene so you play along. Placing your arms on top of his head stroking his head softly. 

"Okay, but not for too long."

--

Thank you for reading!

I honestly ran out of ideas for this one so I hope it doesn’t sound repetitive.

[96thdayofrage]

A five-day course of molnupiravir, the new medicine being hailed as a “huge advance” in the treatment of Covid-19, costs $17.74 to produce, according to a report issued last week by drug pricing experts at the Harvard School of Public Health and King’s College Hospital in London. Merck is charging the U.S. government $712 for the same amount of medicine, or 40 times the price.

Last Friday’s announcement that the new medicine cut the risk of hospitalization among clinical trial participants with moderate or mild illness in half could have huge implications for the course of the coronavirus pandemic. Because it’s a pill — as opposed to monoclonal antibodies, a comparable antiviral treatment that is administered intravenously — molnupiravir is expected to be more widely used and, hopefully, will cut the death rate. In the first 29 days of the trial, no deaths were reported among the 385 patients who received the drug, while eight of the people who received a placebo died, according to the statement put out by Merck and Ridgeback Biotherapeutics, the two companies that are jointly launching it.

In addition to having huge implications for health, the pill could bring staggering profits to both Merck and Ridgeback Biotherapeutics. A small Miami-based company, Ridgeback licensed the medicine from Emory University in 2020 and two months later sold the worldwide rights to the drug to Merck for an undisclosed sum. Although Ridgeback remains involved in the development of the drug, some have described the deal as “flipping.”

Like the vast majority of medicines on the market, molnupiravir — which was originally investigated as a possible treatment for Venezuelan equine encephalitis — was developed using government funds. The Defense Threat Reduction Agency, a division of the Department of Defense, provided more than $10 million of funding in 2013 and 2015 to Emory University, as research done by the nonprofit Knowledge Ecology International has revealed. The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, part of the National Institutes of Health, also provided Emory with more than $19 million in additional grants.

Yet only Merck and Ridgeback will reap the profits from the new antiviral, which according to Quartz could bring in as much as $7 billion by the end of this year. After the announcement of the encouraging clinical trial results on Friday, Merck’s stock price climbed, while stock prices of some vaccine makers sagged. Despite its initial investment, the U.S. government seems to be facing a steep markup in prices. In June, the government signed a $1.2 billion contract with Merck to supply 1.7 million courses of the medication at the $712 price. The transaction is due to take place as soon as molnupiravir receives emergency use authorization from the Food and Drug Administration.

Reasonable Terms

Good government advocates are pointing out that because federal agencies spent at least $29 million on the drug’s development, the government has the obligation to ensure that the medicine is affordable. “The public funded this drug, and therefore the public has some rights, including the rights you have it available under reasonable terms,” said Luis Gil Abinader, senior researcher at Knowledge Ecology International.

In an interview on CNBC, Ridgeback co-founder Wendy Holman noted that the company asked for but “never got government funding” to help manufacture molnupiravir. A whistleblower complaint filed by Rick Bright, the former director of the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, or BARDA, in May 2020, described Ridgeback’s unsuccessful efforts “to secure approximately $100 million” from BARDA to develop the drug as a Covid-19 treatment. The company’s press release about the study results also noted that “since licensed by Ridgeback, all funds used for the development of molnupiravir have been provided by Merck and by Wayne and Wendy Holman of Ridgeback.”

Abinader was critical of Ridgeback’s failure to acknowledge the government’s initial investment in the drug before the company acquired it. “What they want to do, apparently, is to shape the narrative about who paid for the development of this drug in order to avoid demands from the public to make it available at reasonable prices,” he said.

In an emailed response to questions submitted to Ridgeback Biotherapeutics for this article, Davidson Goldin wrote, “Ridgeback has never received any government funding for molnupiravir and self-funded the development of this medicine for treating SARS-CoV-2 when the government did not provide financial support.” Merck did not respond to inquiries about this article.

No Strings Attached

Merck has promised to make molnupiravir accessible around the world and has already entered into licensing agreements with five Indian companies that manufacture generic drugs. “Merck has committed to providing timely access to molnupiravir globally, if it is authorized or approved, and plans to implement a tiered pricing approach based on World Bank country income criteria to reflect countries’ relative ability to finance their health response to the pandemic,” the company said in its announcement of the trial results on Friday. Indian companies are planning to price the drug at less than $12 for a five-day course, according to recent reports.

In the U.S., and likely in many upper-middle-income and all high-income countries, the price will be determined by the market. Noting that the treatment may be offered to people who are not yet severely sick with Covid-19, health advocates fear that will mean some in these countries will not be able to afford the new drug. “Offering someone a $700 treatment when they don’t yet feel that ill is going to mean that a lot of people are not going to take it,” said Dzintars Gotham, a physician at King’s College Hospital in London and a co-author of the report on the pricing of molnupiravir. According to the report, pricing molnupiravir at $19.99 would allow a company a 10 percent profit margin.

Melissa Barber, a doctoral candidate at the Harvard School of Public Health and co-author of the report on molnupiravir, said that, while its pricing is not as extreme as that of some other drugs, it will likely still place the antiviral out of reach of some who could benefit from it. “If you can’t afford medicine because it’s 1,000 times more than you can afford, or because it’s 100 times more than you can afford, it doesn’t matter,” said Barber. “Those are both bad.”

Barber and Gotham acknowledge that the $17.74 cost of producing a five-day course of the antiviral pills is an estimate but said that the algorithm they used, and have employed to estimate the production costs for hundreds of drugs, tends to result in overestimates in the long run.

Meanwhile, the prices that private companies charge for drugs tend to go up rather than down. “For all these deals that have happened for therapeutics or vaccines, the price has only increased as uncertainty has decreased,” she said. “One price is given and then, for the next sale, the price goes up. The price went up for other drugs and vaccines, so I would be very surprised if this price didn’t go up, too.”

The pricing differential should be grounds to demand a better price under the Bayh-Dole Act, according to Knowledge Ecology International’s Abinader. Bayh-Dole, passed in 1980, regulates the transfer of federally funded inventions into commercial property and allows the government to “march in” and suspend the use of patents that were developed with government funding if it determines that the products are excessively priced.

“The pressure for march-in rights around this drug is going to be huge,” predicted Abinader, who suggested that the government could use the law to lower the price of molnupiravir. “When the Biden administration negotiates another supply agreement with Merck, they should probably leverage those rights in order to get a better price,” he said.

According to Gotham, who is based in London, the short story of molnupiravir already sums up the best and the worst of the U.S. pharmaceutical system. “It’s a great coup that the American government funded some scientists to develop antivirals,” he said. “The great tragedy is that, after their great success, they just gave it away to private industry with apparently no strings attached.”

[jaxsteamblog]

I’ll Save You from the Pirates

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

Katara made sure everything was zipped and buttoned before stepping out of the small control building. She was grateful for the early morning survey trip; being in the South Pole brought in a lot of things too close for comfort.

The village she had selected for the initial drilling was on the northern side of the mountains watched over her childhood. On an especially clear day in summer, it was possible to see the far distant peaks of the Air Nation archipelago.

Or else, that’s what she assumed those smudges on the horizon were.

Shaking her head, Katara forced a smile at the workers waiting for her at the dock. She assumed she had a touch of midnight sun sickness, since her body was used to the perpetual darkness of the northern winter at the moment. Even with the new simulated nighttime, Katara was not adjusting as quickly as she had hoped.

It made her head feel like a balloon despite her body feeling sluggish.

“Shall we?” Katara asked, looking from man to man. They were unfamiliar to her, but so were many of the people she met in the South Pole.

The only time she had ever left her village was the once. And she hadn’t properly returned from that trip.

A lifetime ago, Katara had stepped onto a different sort of rickety boat. This one was made of metal, required some sort of crew to operate, and was probably more likely to survive a squall in the open ocean.

But her head still rocked violently when she was fully onboard.

“Gum, Majesty?” One of the men offered. Katara smiled in a closed lipped, queasy sort of way. Taking the thin rectangle of foil, her fingertips felt numb while unwrapping it. The gum was a pale pink, like the meat of any arctic fish.

That image didn’t help her head.

Her jaw worked slowly, feeling the gum nearly disintegrate between her teeth. The flavor was odd, but there was enough mint to calm her a bit.

Sitting on a box of supplies, Katara looked over the edge as the ship pulled away from the dock. The Beifong representative had been complaining of pirates for weeks. Small, quick boats that harassed their supply ships. Usually the attacks were pointless; the expensive equipment had been installed months ago. But medical supplies, shelf stable food, and other minor sundries were beginning to add up on the list of pirated goods.

Fire Nation engineers weren’t bothered by the pirates. Many of them were former military and were not at all subtle over their wish to interact with sea bandits.

Not to be inferred as wanting to fight Water Tribals of course, your Highness.

They were a congenial sort, in their own way.

As they continued on, Katara rubbed her eyes. A migraine was building at her forehead and she called up the cold water to attempt to heal it.

The brain was tricky, and sometimes she had trouble healing herself as she often didn’t think it was bad enough to worry over. Pressure pounded, but the pain stayed as that cloudy prophecy of worse to come.

In her mouth, the gum quickly lost its flavor, so Katara spat out the wad into her palm. The pink was long gone, and the wrinkled gray lump looked foul.

“What even was that?” She muttered and turned around. The man who offered her the gum was standing next to her, a bag in his hands.

Thinking it was trash, Katara moved to shake out the used gum.

The bag went over her head.

When she came to, the sun was setting. This meant two things: that she had been unconscious for a very long time and that they were no longer in South Pole waters.

And noting that she was also in a straight jacket, bound to a tree, Katara figured she was in the Earth Kingdom.

The pirates, as she assumed them to be, were near enough by that Katara could see them at their small fire. The light faded before it got to her, and so she couldn’t make out faces or words.

Looking around, and trying to shift into a comfortable position, Katara knew she was in the woods and far from the ocean. The straight jacket kept her arms and hands from bending, and her legs were shackled tightly together.

Rohan had told her stories about how the late King Bumi could earthbend by wriggling his eyebrows, but Katara wasn’t that skilled. Yet.

Sighing, Katara looked back at the fire.

Historical pirates had been her people, but they were effectively wiped out during the war. Airbender Bumi had created his Sky Pirates, and now they had been replaced by Earth Kingdom citizens. A counterclockwise Avatar cycle.

Bound and still feeling sick, the night air was at least steadying her senses. But she really didn’t know what to do next.

And yet, she really didn’t feel the need to plan. The situation almost made her feel calm. It took the sudden figure behind her to tell her why.

“I’ll save you from the pirates.” A soft voice whispered into her ear.

Katara snorted, turning it into a sneeze in case she was overheard. She was, and one of the pirates got up to investigate.

“Oh no. A ruffian approaches. Whatever shall I do.” Katara said robotically.

The man frowned as he neared.

“Don’t think of calling for help.” He said.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Katara replied and smiled broadly.

“You think something’s funny? I’d like to see you try your bending now.” He said.

“Neither of us needs bending to kick your ass.” The shadowed man said.

The pirate straightened just as the hilt of a sword smashed into the side of his head. The man collapsed as his assailant moved into the dusky light.

The blue oni mask sent electricity through Katara’s veins.

“Let me help you out.” Zuko said, crouching next to her and slicing through the straps.

“You might want to focus on them.” Katara said, wiggling out of the restraint.

Zuko stood and turned, separating his dual swords and rotating his wrists to loosen them.

“Be right back my love.” He said and darted forward.

Katara watched as closely as she could, shoulder off the straightjacket. Zuko moved quickly, as he always did, and many of the pirates were unable to even reach their guns. Those that did nearly lost a hand before Zuko knocked them prone.

To her surprise, there was an actual Earthbender among the group and Katara wondered if she should intervene. She was working on the shackles on her ankles when the cannonball of earth slammed Zuko into a tree. But the Blue Spirit leapt back onto his feet and kicked debris into the Bender’s face. By the time Katara snapped off the frozen metal, the Bender was face down on the ground.

Zuko paused to put out the small fires made when he kicked their cook fire before walking back to Katara. He held out his hand to help her up and she dusted off the back of her pants as he sheathed his unified sword.

“How did you get here so quickly?” She asked.

“Sokka helped.” He explained.

“But this?” Katara questioned, gesturing to his costume.

“I had plans.”

“Plans?” She stepped in close, running her fingers along the edge of his mask. “Did it involve a veil?”

“For you it involved only veils.” He answered, putting a warm hand on her lower back.

“KATARA!” A man’s voice bellowed and they jumped apart.

“My dad?” Katara choked out.

“It would make sense that others would be responding to this incident, yes.” Zuko said stoically, like he was also just realizing this.

“You need to go.” She hissed, shoving at Zuko’s side.

“Where?” He whispered back. “I don’t really know where I am!”

“KATARA!” Hakoda called again, much closer now.

“They can’t see you! You’re a wanted man!” Katara continued to shove, but Zuko didn’t move.

“My boat is that way!” He said, pointing past her to where Hakoda’s voice had come.

“KATARA!” Hakoda sounded desperate, and it actually raked at Katara.

“You have to get-” She stopped as she heard multiple people run into the clearing.

“GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!” Hakoda yelled. Katara turned, spreading her arms wide.

“He saved me dad!” She yelled back.

Hakoda halted and looked around. Seeing the very recent carnage, Hakoda made quick gestures. The others with him ran forward, securing the unconscious pirates.

“Who are you?” Hakoda asked cautiously, walking slowly up to them.

“This is the Blue Spirit. I’ve actually met him before, during the war.” Katara explained haltingly. She lowered her arms and glanced upward. “He’s….mute?”

“Well then.” Hakoda was awkward and his words were just as fumbled. “Thank you.”

He then made a sort of pained face, tilting his head slightly. “Are you really a spirit?”

“Probably not.” Katara said and heard Zuko huff behind his mask.

“At least, the Fire Nation thinks he’s just some traitor.” She added.

“I haven’t much cared for the opinion of the Fire Nation.” Hakoda muttered and Katara frowned.

“But I thank you for rescuing my daughter.” He continued. “Man or not, I must thank you properly for your help. It’s my duty as a chief, and a father.”

As Katara started to protest, Zuko moved from behind her and bowed. It was a modified gesture from the typical Fire Nation salute. It was meant to show respect to other nations.

“Great, now we can see what a spirit eats.” Katara growled, her jaw clenched.

“You know, we should hope he is a spirit.” Hakoda said as they started to walk in the direction Katara assumed the boats had moored.

“Why’s that?” Katara asked in exasperation, knowing Zuko would want to ask himself.

“You said you’ve met before. I don’t think the Fire Lord would appreciate the competition.” Hakoda finished.

Zuko huffed again and Katara sighed.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57

[sereniv]

I think I've been able to lower my blood pressure levels from between Hypertension 1 and 2, to Prehypertension!

My Diastolic number hasn't been below 93 (averaging at 95) in a while but it was 85 just now

WEIGHT/ED/FOOD TALK UNDER CUT (mostly positive tho)

And ive been taking the dog for a walk every day even if it literally takes like 2 minutes. I've been back to drinking electrolytes which helps me drink more water (though idk if enough), and I've been watching what I eat, keeping out most gluten and soy and eating more potassium

I've also lost weight, I was at an average of 61 and im now averaging 57

I'm almost back to the weight I was years ago (150) before I gained nearly 40 pounds bc of a medication

I'm so proud of myself even though it's been so hard.

It's hard to exercise being disabled and it's hard having food intolerances and it's hard just all of it

and lately ever since I hit 157, I've been careful to make sure I still eat, but its been hard to either not semi binge or reduce my eating.

it's hard it's HARD but it helps that I've learned to love the body I am in rn and I'm trying to focus on the fact that I personally need to lose weight for health reasons.

I've also cut out most sugar except the brown sugar I put in my oatmeal and a pudding now and then

I told myself I wouldn't have anything else no ice cream no cookies no cake no maple donuts that is the reason why I even really started working hard lately bc I ate 8 and I realized how high my blood sugar was and that at this rate if I allow myself to give in to purr pleasure eating that I'm going to undo everything

and the thing is is that I'm fine without them. it's just I have a problem with when I find something I like I gorge on it until I'm sick of it. but I wasn't sick of it yet but I didn't want to wait for that

so I nipped it in the bud. I make sure that I'm still happy and pleasure eating, but just not going overboard.

I also told my grandma not to allow me to weasel my way into having me buy fast food. And she's done good, and I've done good.

bc fast food raises my blood pressure bc its fried or its just makes me feel sick (taco bell) or its got gluten. which makes me sick or has a lot of salt which makes it bad for my blood pressure

and ive a few times have asked for food and have really craved it but im glad she hasn't let me BUT

there is one she was going to take me too I can't remember what I said but I think it's the exception since I only have it once a month. but I've decided not to go like 3 times already

and have decided that on the 13th when I go to my appointment that's near there then I can go

I'm half hoping I won't feel like it, but on the other hand I feel like its not a big deal

so that's something I've been battling with. and honestly I am worried about it making me gain weight. solely and not connected to health.

which isn't great, but its tied into fear that I'm going to lose progress since I'm 157. But I also feel like going up to 161 is fine bc its recent?

but then I'm setting myself up for if I see 162,

so yeah hopefully I'll get over my problems by the 13th and I'll be fine

yknow losing this weight has helped with my breathing at least when not moving. I used to have pressure on my chest and shortness of breathe just by sitting or laying down

so I'm really happy about that. I just cant imagine how I'll feel when I get to 140 which is my limit. I dont want to go below that

I'm hoping I'll have more energy. idk.

I'm going to go have a quesadilla

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday.. 22 May 1838

7 40/..

12 ¼

found my cousin come gently half hour preparing one good proper motion much better this morning – Packing – 1st made up the fire – had the washerwoman – très contente d’elle .:. gave her 1/. over which pleased her much – Spa bien tombi – petite peuple here now, pas les grandes comme autrefois – when her mother and she (she aetatis 75) used to wash for the Lady Spencer before she was duchess of Devonshire – for ‘Lady Foster’ Lady Elizabeth afterwards duchess of Devonshire and for the present Duke – for the duchess of Cumberland princess of Orange etc. etc. – the old duke of D- talked to her as I did – ‘les grandes toujours les plus bons’ ........ really a very good woman an excellent washerwoman and very reasonable – breakfast about 10 – and then till 12 10 wrote out the last 8 lines of Sunday the whole of yesterday and so far of today – the garçon said that to make the tour of the 4 sources, would take an hour en voiture and the same à pied as we must make un grand detour en voiture – eh bien! – sent for Henri, and A- and I out 1 20 – 1st tasted the water of the Pouhon spring, crapped with its awkward monument building to the memory of Peter the great – the water a strong chalybeate – then to the hotel des bains, to the bathing establishment the only one in the place – well enough – 12 bains 2 ditto plongeants  (like very little swimming baths 4 or 5 yards x 2 or 3 yards?) 4 douches, and 4 bains-chaises (chain baths – large deep-copper or natural basins fixed in an arm-chair that one sits in – immersed about ½ way down to the knees and up to the navel) much recommended now for weakness in the loins – for fames enceintes, begin with the water just warm and soon get to use it cold – the bains ½ on one side, ½ on the other side the quadrant court  -nice enough rooms in the hotel part at 2/. per room per day – 2/. a bath including linen – and par abonnement   12 baths for 20/. – Lady --- Wood took a bath here (one of the plongeants) every day from the baths to the Geronstère spring – a very nice about ½ hours’ walk – but A- tired before we had gone far – however we got on – passed the Waux hall – what we had guessed to be the house the King had for 8 days last year – no! he was at the Belle vue left en entering Spa from Liège – warmish – great part of the way latterly thro’ a wood – nice situation on the hill – could have lived here but no accommodation save drinking and walking – a brisk chalybeate – much more agreeable or much less disagreeable water than the Pouhon – no time for the walks – gave our dix sols as at the Pouhon for each tasting and spitting out again the water and came away – Henri Bête had let us pass the Sauvenière spring (close) on Saturday in going to the cascade on Saturday the fellow would worse than ever this morning – he had just dined – and tormented me with his talking – seems to have waited at table on all great people here and elsewhere – and when he went on before us kept a very slightly wavy line path – of course I made no observation on the subject to him, but complained to the mistress of the house on paying the bill – sick of Spa altogether, tho’ it is a very picturesque pretty little well-built ville in a lovely valley, and the hotel de l’ orange very good and comfortable very good cuisine and la blanchisseuse parfait – did not go into on Spa-box shop – contented ourselves with looking in at the windows – bought ½ lb. macaroons for 8 sols French – inquired the price of the description de la grotte de Remouchamps with few lithographs – 10/. too dear – should have had to wait for it (the people little grocers etc. not yet gone to their dress booksellers’ shop as we had heard at the confectioners) – so went to the bank – Mr. Wilten a nice little civil person – exchange 25/35 the season does not in fact commence till June – and Spa (as the washerwoman said and the demoiselle de librairie owned this evening) is much tombé – not the place it used to be du temps de la famille d’Orange – home at 3 ¼ or [and] found I had put my watch ¼ too late - .:. home at 3 ½ - Paid all, and off from the hotel de l’Orange at 4 10 –

at the hotel des bains a nice English shower bath such as Mrs. Sutherland had paid £6 for bought 2nd hand of an English gentleman who brought it to Spa for 80fr. had on it the address of ‘J. Benham 19 Wigmore street Cavendish square London’

Received at the bank for n°     633.75

our old lady of the hotel offered me her torn dirty description of the grotte for 9/. civilly declined this offer saying I could get the work at Paris, and copied the title p. as follows ‘Description de la grotte de Remouchamps située à deux lieues à l’ouest de Spa. Par M. Schols, ancien capitaine d’état-major. Imprimerie de Demanet Rue de L’Evêque, n°19 à Bruxelles’ – off from Spa at 4 10 – at 4 40 fine view of the chateau of Franchimont – and descend and cross the river and drive along it but leave on the other side the pretty village of Franchimont lying at the foot of its castle and enter Theux at 4 ¾ picturesque little town – drive thro’ it in 5 minutes, and just out of it re-cross the river by good wooden bridge and have a few drops of rain – the valley opens about Theux (on both sides of Theux) then narrows again and wooded and well villaged and several good houses with lodges and pretty! factories – the neat church of [?] very striking and picturesque perched on the top of a hill right – a red-painted neat thatched house (near a larger good house) with chimney lower than the rest covered over the top and the sides open in 2 tiers of 3 loop-holes each on every side the chimney might serve as a model for the red room chimney at home – at 5 10 cross the 2 little rivers?  at 5 ¼ (regular rain) pass the card-house chateau – the situation very beautiful – wood, rock, river, beautifully grouped hills – the Swiss cottage very pretty – more and more dislike the absurdity of the architecture are of the chateau – immediately about here very beautiful – then the valley opens a little – then closes again – less taken with Chaufontaine [Chaudfontaine] now than as we went – a little place of trade as well as baths – the railroad all along here to Verviers will sadly spoil this lovely valley – at 7 a 2 horse diligence trys [tries] to pass us – a race – our postboy beats then lifts his jacket lap in exultation as if to say kiss my ---- at 7 5 cross bridge over Ourté [Ourthe] and Vesdre? – abundance of

SH:7/ML/E/21/0106

 orchards all the way from Spa – but from Chaufontaine [Chaudfontaine] to Liège one continued orchard – well may apples be so plentiful – why not make cider? a good deal of vine-ground about Liège – and a great many little hop-gardens – at 7 10 fine opening upon Liège thro’ the village of ......... pass the ½ finished Casino and bridge over river ------- Ourte [Ourthe]? and pass the barrier gateway and at 7 ½ enter La ville de Liège – full of people as if a market day – but always the same they say – alight at 7 ¾ au Pavillion anglais – M. and Madame M- there to greet us – order dinner – then to the booksellers, Place Saint Lambert – ½ hour there till 8 ¾ - A- had left me there – not interested .:. tired – dinner at 8 55 to 9 40 demie bouteille bad champagne – bad dinner – A- wrong at my having kept her waiting for dinner what a temper and what a pother but I kept silence and let her go off to bed taking very little notice – fine day till rain about 5pm for a couple of hours – F64 ½° now at 9 ¾ pm A- went soon to bed – I stood reading in my room the treatise on Spa and its water (bought this evening and published at Liège last year) till 11 ½ pm at which hour F64 1/2° as before –

A. Groffroi Langevn n°328 Paris numeros 46. 45. 38 and 39 Carte de Ferraris 1fr. per n° carte of Belgium

[vnights]

Canned Food

————

Includes a bit of heavy angst, and depictions of children in high-stress situations. Writing some of Mikes more iconic memories (and the source of his food-related trauma whoops) enjoy ??

————

Michael has an incredibly strict diet. It must be from some kind of bowl or container, and it all must be one thing. Specific, yes, but it’s necessary if he wants to hold his supper. It wasn’t always like this, though. Lil’ Mikey used to snack often, and take large mouthfuls of food during family dinners. He used to be a real eater! Now, he can only remember those taco-tuesdays.

...All the children were waiting for their father at the table, listening to the front door open and close, all without a greeting. Tension began to rise in the kitchen as the three watched William enter, stripping his coat off, and looking at the empty plates. There was a scowl, but.. This bad-day negativity was quickly pushed down, being replaced by forced joy, a small grin finding the mans lips.

“I take it you’re hungry?” He asked with a head tilt, his smile rising as all three nodded at the same time.

“We’ve been waiting here for hooouuurrrrs! I thought we were going to starve!” Elizabeth exclaimed dramatically, slouching in her seat and pouting. This drew a chuckle from her father, who shook his head at her.

“Your brother hadn’t grabbed you a thing? I’m sorry, sweetheart.. How irresponsible of him.” His eldest son went wide eyed and held his arms out, mouth shaped in a small ‘o’, becoming personally offended by taking unwarranted blame. While moving to the fridge, William snickered and corrected himself. “I’m joking, loosen up a little bit.”

Frozen vegetables were removed from the freezer and placed on a pan, a pot of water being centered on the heating stove. A simple meal was planned, mac and cheese with veggies. It was easy, and required little effort. ...Doesn’t mean it isn’t like a chore, though. Today has been active from start to finish, and Will was mainly hoping to just.. Sit for more than a second. Luckily, things need time to warm up, giving him time to rest, taking a seat at the table with his children.

“Did everyone behave? No fights today?” His opening question.

“Eliza threw a big hissy-fit ‘cause she couldn’t play outside, then she went out anyway and started screaming when I pulled her back inside!”

“I didn’t scream! Yuh- You should have just let me out!”

“But you didn’t want your shoes, and you got dirt all over the flo-“

Both kids silenced upon looking over, watching their parent rub his temples, feeling a headache coming on. He grumbled lowly and leaned over, deciding to.. Not argue, and just settle it. “Elizabeth, you need to listen when Johnathan is in charge. It’s all I ask of you. Johnny, just.. Just let her play without shoes, it’s not a big deal. Nnnnow... Michael? How was your day?” The middle child finally looked up from the bear in his lap, simply shrugging in response. His tiny scowl spoke much more than he did, however. And.. Seeing as both the other kids seemed hesitant, one could guess something else happened today. “...Mike. Go ahead, dear.”

Glancing to Johnny and Eliza, the boy sighed and opened his mouth very wide, taking in a big breath. “...Johnathan was in my room and wouldn’t leave, so I left and went into his room, and then he came and pulled me out and ripped my shirt! An’- An’ he ripped Chica’s foot, too, and I tried fixing her but- But Elizabeth said she could help, so I gave her Chica and she made it even bigger’er, and when I said I was gonna tell you, they shut me in the bathroom, and wouldn’ let me out if I promised not to tell, but I- I told..” The child lowered his head and raised his shoulders, looking between his brother and sister, who now wore angered expressions.

There was no energy to deal with this. None. “..Why can’t you just get along with one another?.. This is why I don’t leave you home anymore!..” William stormed and stood up, squeaking the chair back loudly, causing both Mike and Eliza to flinch. He turned to take care of the thawing food, putting everything in and on the oven. With that little outburst, the tension has made its reappearance, keeping the kids on their toes. With silence finally filling the air, William had the chance to calm himself, grabbing a book on his way back to the table. “...Please stay hushed, sweets. Daddies head is pounding..” His request was accepted by each of them, each Johnathan, Michael and Elizabeth being silent, shooting glares at one another.

Waiting for the oven to beep was agonizing. The ice they were standing on was thin, as their fathers temper was like a ticking time bomb, just waiting for that one, little, thing. They were lucky to not have set it off. For right now, anyway. Once food was ready, William sighed heavily and stood up, folding his book and setting it aside before going to the stove, asking the kids to line up with their plates. One by one, they were sent back to the table with full plates of food, retaking their seats before digging in. Johnathan and Elizabeth did, anyway. Michael seemed to be.. Distracted, and not eating. He just didn’t feel like it, his stomach being stirred with anxiety and bad feelings and everything.

His reluctance was noticed early on.

“...Michael, why are you not eating?” William started softly, keeping his temper collected.

Mike shrugged, keeping his eyes to his teddy. “I will in a secon’..”

“...At least show me five bites. Can you do that for me?”

“I guess so..” Mike nodded and did as he was asked, scooping up five rather tiny bites. He’s simply lost his appetite, rethinking the day and all. None of his family members seemed impressed with his hesitant swallows, though.

“C’mon Mike, it isn’t torture! Just eat the food!” Johnathan decided to add.

“I am! Lea’me alone!” Michael shouted in retaliation.

“Stop bickering and let him eat! He’s eating! There is no time limit on food!” William blew a fuse and shouted, making every hush-up again.

They had a quiet meal. Only three of the people at the table finished their plates, Michael was still not done. Not nearly. Johnny and Eliza went to their rooms, Will went to shower, and Mike was told to stay until his food was finished. There were no doubts, not a single one, which is why William took his precious time rinsing the work days grease off his body and mind. And, for a moment, it seemed to work. He felt better, and after a nice, long hour and 40+ minutes shower, he was so ready to see his sweet little angels ready for bed. It was when he re-dressed and exited the restroom that his mood was immediately wrecked.

“Michael Afton!” He shouted loudly, causing the boy to flinch harshly and look over, fear filling his features. “Why are you still seated?! Have you taken even one more bite?!”

“I- You said stay here ‘til I was done!..” The boy whimpered, tugging his bear closer as his father approached.

“Look at that plate! You haven’t even touched it!” He pointed down at the food, resting his other hand on the chair. “I gave you so much time just to eat! I slaved to make sure you were fed, and you-! Nnngggg!! MICHAEL! Eat!”

With the, currently, small outburst, Mike teared and quickly turned to grab the fork, his wrists shaking greatly while he scooped up the veggies and mac, shoveling it into his mouth. A noodle found its place down Michaels throat, tickling on the way down, making the child set his utensil down and begin coughing. Due to the pause, William’s anger only grew, making him boil over with a growl. He slammed his fist down onto the table, making Mike yipe frightfully.

“You don’t get to take your time anymore! Eat! Eat your food!” The consistent yelling made Michael begin to cry, emotionally retreating into himself. William tensed, clenching his fist tightly before, once more, slamming it down, hitting the edge of the plate this time, sending Mikes food all over the tables edge, and the floor. This completely busted Wills temper, making him fume. “FINE! Since you’re too incompetent for anything, I’ll do it for you!”

“Daddy-?!” Mike shouted worriedly, scooting back before getting grabbed. William, in a shocking act, force-fed his child, grabbing a handful of mushed, cold food and shoving it into Michaels mouth. The boy desperately tried pushing the others arm away, only to get it roughly shoved against his face. Eventually, Michael began kicking, being able to release himself from his fathers grip, and making the chair wobble and fall over, leaving the child gasping, crying, and crawling away. He then choked wetly, puking on the kitchen floor over the course of two cough-ups. Mike sobbed lightly with a shiver, carefully looking back to his father.

William was staring down at the mess he made with an expression of complete shock, and sorrow. Guilt washed over him like a thick blanket as a soft, barely audible breath left his throat. Listening to Mike whimper and cry drove him mad, causing his clean hand to rest over his own mouth, and making him step closer, kneeling down in a much softer, much less scary manner. “Michael, baby I’m sorry, I didn’t.. Mean t.. Mikey, come here, come here, my love..” He slowly motioned over, scooting closer to the other. Michael shivered as William got closer, scooping him up like a baby. With a nuzzle and a cuddle, William carried the child while pacing around the house, whispering soft, sweet words of comfort in an attempt to make up. The commotion certainly kept the other kids in their own rooms, at least..

...That sick never left him. Even now, all this time later, he still has to settle for good ole’ Spaghetti-O’s.

[jean----ralphio]

IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME

Episode 1 is under the cut!

Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...

Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch

Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!

00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis

00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s

00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?

00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3

01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.

01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3

01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.

02:01 DICK <3

02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3

02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME

02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too

02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3

03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?

03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this

04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused

04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.

04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is

04:39 Lip <3

04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here

04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch

04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser

04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?

05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3

05:39 Aw. They’re so sad

05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine

06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!

06:18 God Damien is pretty

06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt

06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!

07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT

07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.

07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick

08:18 ‘Murica time

08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol

08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable

09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross

09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck

09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby

09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!

09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho

10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit

10:43 Wow Lip is ripped

10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3

11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.

11:11 RICH

11:18 Lieb omg lol

11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU

11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO

12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin

12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK

12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it

13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh

13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.

13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.

13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.

14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby

14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.

14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order

14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?

14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh

15:11 Piss off omg

15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me

16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH

17:21 Shifty my angel son

17:46 so sweet

18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop

18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe

18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly

18:44 Simon Pegg??!!

18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo

19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.

19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.

19:17 SHUT UP ROSS

19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.

20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!

21:02 ROE <3

21:31 Hoobler, aw <3

21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys

21:54 Ah boys, oh no

22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby

22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously

22:24 Oh Luz <3

22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch

23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot

23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.

24:19 Suck it, Ross

24:30 Real footage?

24:41 Lol you suck Ross

25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.

25:26 Bill omg

25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby

25:56 Ah Luz

26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me

26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner

27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault

27:46 Dick’s come to save the day

27:56 Ross knows nothing omg

28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb

28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight

28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you

28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho

28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately

30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won

30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH

30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty

30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb

30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t

31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair

31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems

31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong

32:00 He’s not joking, Dick

32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please

32:11 Lol Nix

33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.

33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.

33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.

33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.

34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please

34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?

35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.

35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3

35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!

36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.

36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20

36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb

36:51 Guys, look, cows

37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.

37:22 RICH

37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop

37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH

37:42 Poor Tip is so done

37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused

38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face

38:10 Iconic

38:15 Keep it together Tip

38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*

39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich

39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes

39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood

39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.

39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.

40:25 Be free, moo-cows

40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED

41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.

41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.

41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.

41:39 Worried husband

41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic

42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.

42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.

42:57 Punk bitch Ross.

43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.

43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.

43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!

43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.

44:02 Hey Lip <3

44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE

44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.

44:57 This whole scene is BDE.

46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest

46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.

46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now

47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??

48:09 Weak

48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica

48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.

49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH

50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?

50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.

50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.

51:00 RICH I SAW YOU

52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.

52:36 DAFUQ

52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.

53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.

53:48 Unf.

54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!

54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.

55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.

55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.

56:15 Oh no

57:00 Luz LMAO

57:10 Oh babies

57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup

57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.

57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.

57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.

58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3

59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again

59:49 RICH I SEE YOU

1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T

1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill

1:01:09 Naww

1:01:16 RIIIIICH

1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol

1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.

1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand

1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP

1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane

1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp

1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?

1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.

1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao

1:06:16 God, Dick be careful

1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.

[thefivecalls]

Nope! Nopenopenopenopenope. I am done repeating the shortcuts in life with mental illness and chronic pain. These can probably extend to others but this is specifically from my depression and chronic pain in my leg and lower back:

-drink milk when you cant stand solid foods, it fills you the quickest and lasts the longest (specifially 2% for me, almond a close 2nd. Skim is too watery)

-Saltines, Peanut Butter, and apple slices/sauce are good fillers if you dont feel hungry but know you need to eat. You dont need many and it wont make you sick if you eat too much by accident

-Keep a jug of water in your fridge. Cold water helps ground me sometimes if I get spacy. (Ive heard ice cubes work too? Havent tried that since we dont have ice trays so can't vouch.)

-Apple juice is the best thing to drink to stay awake for long periods of time. Coffee makes anxiety amp up, pineapple and orange juice gives you a jolt but it wears off quickly, cranberry makes me feel more tired somehow, and I simply dont like grapes so idk about them. Apple juice wakes you up relatively quickly and lasts for a while so try it

-If hot liquids are a comfort for you, a thermos helps by making it last longer. I got mine for 3 dollars at goodwill. Soaked it in white vinegar for three days to clean the insides and then put it through a dishwasher. Practically new again.

-if cold things are your comfort, a small lunch cooler by your bed is great cause you can fill it with cold things before a spiral or attack or if you can feel the spasms coming and you can set it next to your bed.

-Peppermint is a natural stimulus. Spearmint gum is a nice smack in the face if you need quick grounding.

-dry shampoo and a brush will make you feel So Much better than before

-Stridex face cleansing wipes are good for cleaning your face quickly and with minimal effort.

-If you can't bring yourself to clean your room, change your sheets. Its the smallest thing that can help you the most during a downward spiral

-Don't spend too much time in bed. It will train your brain Not to sleep there, so move to your window or a couch.

-Washcloth showers! Get a bowl with warmish water and soap and a washcloth, sit down on a stool and wipe off the sweat and grime. It's amazing to feel clean without having to withstand standing in a shower for 40 minutes

-theres this mouthwash spray you can get. Use it when you cant get up to brush your teeth

-Ibuprofen and Tylenol slowly get weaker as you use them. Rub tiger balm on the area of pain and it'll help you so much

-DONT FALL ASLEEP ON A HEATING PAD. Constant heat makes bad burns! And if you're drugged up on sleep meds you probs wont wake up til they where off, and Trust me you dont want to go to the ER at 3 in the morning with a 2nd degree burn on your back and legs

-Today's a home day? Socks. Fucking Hell wearing socks makes it easier to walk and you can slide on hard surfaces! And they keep your feet warm if you put on thermals or wool

-Thoughts being loud? Audio books or music. Rewind if you get trapped up there, dont worry about it cause we've all had to re listen to something at some point. Or some text-to-speech apps for things like fanfics or stories. (I use Text to Voice - Read Aloud. Its pink and has a microphone)

-Compression sleeves! They help apply a constant (somewhat soothing!) pressure. I've got a knee one and a full leg sleeve. Athletic stores have them sometimes for injuries and whatnot.

-Fairy Lights are dim so they dont hurt your eyes, plus they're pretty and come in lots of colors! Mine are purple and white

-men's sweatpants are much more comfy then woman's. Cheaper too.

-An actual alarm clock helps me when executive dysfunction is stopping me. It forces me to get up and I got mine cheap from Wal-Mart. Plug it in away from where you are and set it for sunlight hours.

-Sweatshirts get smelly fast. Some lightweight long sleeves are good alternatives cause they still cover you but they dont suffocate you and you can where them longer

-A squish monster! Ive got an octopus plushie, my friend has a dragon plushie, another friend has a marshmellow one. Good for comfort (and you'll never outgrow it. We're all 16-19, but 2 of the parents that taught us this still use ones themself)

-Sunglasses and eyedrops are good for bloodshot eyes

-Find a comfort video or tv show or movie. Watch it on the bad days. How to train your dragon, atlantis the lost civilization, and Treasure Planet are 3 of my favorites.

-Stale air sucks. Get a small camping fan and set if up near your bed. A couple of D batteries later and you got air movement

-This is more of a coping mech for me, but write down your thoughts and then counter them. It can get hard but things like "Your friends won't leave you" written by your own hand is satisfying to look at. Ive got an old school pad for mine and i keep it on my floor next to my bed

-Blindfolds can be a double edged sword-it can help by taking away your sight and helping you focus internally, but they can also force you into your head and get you stuck there. Use them carefully!

-be nice to yourself! You cant always act at 100%! Even if everyone else is at 70% and to match them you have to up your anty. Coaxing yourself like a scared animal is much better than beating yourself up about not being able to do things.

Feel free to add on, I'll be doing more when I can think of them!

[wasthereamassshootingtoday]

COVID-19

Hello everyone- it’s your local almost-graduate in public health here for another unasked for but perhaps necessary update on the novel coronavirus, which now has a name! 

COVID-19- the CO comes from the “co” in corona, the “vi” from virus and the “d” for disease. The 19 is because the disease emerged in 2019. This name, which avoids assigning blame to a particular location, seems to imply the expectation of more viruses of this nature due to the genericness of the name and its wide applicability to other emerging coronaviruses. (But the issue of new disease emergence is different discussion). The name of the virus itself is SARS-CoV-19.

Scientists are investigating the animal cause for the infection. But the leading theory is that the disease developed in bats, much like SARS and MERS, and then infected wither snakes or pangolins that then infected humans in one of China’s live-animal markets. We are still not sure of the exact animal reservoir, however.

The latest figures for the disease are staggering; more than 73,000 people have been infected globally. As of February 18 at 7:49am EST, there have been 72,436 cases in China and 1,868 deaths. There have been 610 cases in Japan, 542 of which are from the quarantined Japanese cruise ship, and one death. There have been 15 cases in the United States and zero deaths.

The Japanese cruise ship, the Diamond Princess, has been in quarantine for 14 days and there have been 542 cases out of 3,700 passengers. It is unsure exactly what happened on the cruise ship, but the quarantine failed and the ship became a source of infection rather than sectioning it off. Americans aboard the ship (approximately 380) have been taken flown off the cruise ship and will undergo a second quarantine on US soil. At least 40 Americans have tested positive for COVID-19 from the ship.

Overall, China reports that 80% of cases have been mild (think normal cold/flu symptoms), 14% of patients developed pneumonia, and 5% developed critical illness. The fatality rate of COVID-19 is currently reported at 2.3% (2.8% for males versus 1.7% for females). There has also been a decline in the number of reported cases but it is unsure if this decline with continue.

However, and this is my speculation here, I believe the true mortality rate to be lower. When calculating disease fatality you take the total number of cases (disease incidence) and divide it by deaths. I think that the disease incidence is underreported. Many diseases have subclinical cases; that is to say, people get the disease but their symptoms aren’t bad enough for them to go to the doctor and they never get diagnosed. This underreporting of cases can lead to an increased mortality rate when it is calculated. I find it likely that many people went undiagnosed at the beginning of the outbreak.

The question many of you are wondering is do I need to be worried?

The answer is a resounding no.

COVID-19 has not spread to the US. The American cases have been people who have been to China directly or who have had direct contact with those individuals. There have only been 15 positives, 393 negatives, and 60 pending cases. These cases have occurred in Arizona, California, Illinois, Massachussetts, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.

The disease, while spreading in Asia, is under control when it comes to infections in the United States. There is still no reason to believe that COVID-19 will emerge, spread, or become an issue/outbreak in the United States.

Unless you have been directly exposed to someone infected with COVID-19, you are at no risk of developing the disease. This is also no excuse for anti-Chinese sentiments or discrimination. This virus is not the fault of China, Chinese people, and most definitely not the Chinese person you’re sitting next to on the bus. Fear is no excuse for bigotry. Instead of hatred, please try kindness and sympathy for what they are going through.

Nevertheless, what can you do to prevent infection?

Just practice normal disease prevention activities, such as washing your hands and avoiding direct contact with sick persons. BUT, you are not at risk for getting COVID-19. But you know what you are at risk for? The flu, which kills 640,000 people annually. You are far more at risk of getting and dying from the flu than the coronavirus so if you want to take direct action, get your flu shot!

Please let me know if you have any questions and I will do my best to answer them.