#and then I realized it was kinda necessary from a writing perspective because. what the fuck is sigma gonna do in that room for 45 minutes

[veeta-cuculidae]

It’s really funny how VLR establishes near the beginning of the game that 45 minutes must pass between the first AB room opening and the polling period for the AB game ending, and then spends the rest of the game thinking of justifications for someone to open a door 45 minutes before the characters are ready to vote. And usually that justification is Dio being an impatient asshole

[anemoiashifts]

november pick an object shifting reading !

ive been pretty much inactive this month. i needed a teeny tiny little break from posting. you can thank stardew valley for what took up most of my time during my absence :,) also hope everyone had a safe halloween !

i thought to kinda shake things up a little bit, the first part is a general reading that doesn’t have to necessarily relate to shifting but can & then also include a little message from someone from your desired reality because people seemed to like that.

!! please do not force messages to resonate. if this reading doesn’t feel like it was meant for you, then it wasn’t meant for you.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ croissant ! | 🥐

signs : lady bugs, the name “nina”, the lion king, the date “1899”, first week of november, “house song” by searows, “you” by the 1975, “get well soon” by ariana grande.

be compassionate with yourself as you’re going through a period of fear & anxiety. trying to shift during this time may add another layer of pressure onto your daily routine as the outcome may dictate the tone of your day. it’s best to take a step back as there could be some unwanted attention — negative or positive — brought to your life. this idea and internal battle one. one where you have the inability to trust yourself & the inability to look ahead instead if behind. but whatever the reasoning is, there will be a spotlight upon what has been been brewing with in you. in the moment, this may feel like a negative transformation but within time it will turn out to be something that is much needed. to minimize collateral damage, lay low for this period.

the number ten may be significant to someone whom is trying to get through to you in your desired reality. they want to remind you to try to get a grip on your situation. you seem to be someone with people pleaser tendencies & through this time you are coming to the realization of how much people have taken advantage of your kindness. this will be uncomfortable for you but you are allowed to drop any “facades” you may be putting into appease others at anytime.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ pretzel ! | 🥨

signs : antique perfume bottles, “heads up” pennies, wild horses, virgo placements / traits, “goodbye yellow brick road” by elton john, “movies” by conan grey.

you’re not really trying to shift at the moment. you have seem to taken a step back from shifting attempts, scripting — your routine for shifting. this could stem from the dis-satisfaction that shifting has bought you in the past, or you simply are growing content with where you are right now. chances are it is more so you’ve grown skeptical towards shifting (& shifting content creators) & are beginning to reject any accepted theories & ideas of what shifting is & isnt. because you are away from the shifting community’s throwing terms & ideas at you, you are able to take a step back & breathe & create your own meaning out of what you have seen. you’ve simply grown apart from the practice a little bit & are taking the time to pour your energy into something that’s been needing attention — which is a good thing ! this month is a new beginning for you. a new perspective & appreciation for what you have. it feels like you have finally stepped through the light at the other side of the tunnel. this month will consist of a lot of looking back at where you were in comparison to now & taking the necessary steps to correct this feelings of discomfort, dis-satisfaction & self loathing.

someone from your desired reality wants you to share the knowledge you have obtained with others through your hardships. write it down, pick up journaling, make a tiktok video about it. open your heart & learn to fall in love with the journey more then the end result. even if your effort doesn’t get you where you want, don’t negate the the end result because is isn’t what you hoped it would be. be warned that the tendency to believing you think in the “correct” way could eventually hurt you. put your ego aside & be open to ideas that you previously discarded. never burn bridges entirely.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ cake ! | 🎂

signs: thin gold jewelry, schools of fish / aquariums, ice skates, sea shells, red candles, “a world alone” by lorde, “robin” by taylor swift.

you’ve been feeling nostalgic recently. maybe it’s missing listening to a a song you used to love for the first time, or rediscovering your childhood toys in the attic. nostalgia could be a key reason in you wanting to shift in the first place. your desired reality probably does have elements of you wanting to shift to better your past or rewrite how things have played out. chances are you want to shift to a place you used to daydream about as a child. while you have an idea of where you want to shift, you aren’t quiet there yet. there’s a sense of incompletion — of what you believe to be incompletion. this could be not finding a method you like or a dozen incomplete scripts. you could even feel as if your childhood was incomplete due to circumstances out of your control ? there is no rush to get to the finish line or rush something for the sake of doing it.

you may be losing this month or have just lost something. this may be a literal loss of something it growing apart from a friend, things will be changing for you. in regards to shifting, you may feel that you have lost time due to trying to not trying enough. you’re terrified of changing because you’ve grown comfortable with the routine, even if you know it’s a destructive cycle. this person wants to remind you that the best thing you can do is sit with your emotions but not fester in them. a key part of this time is inner healing: doing shadow work, journaling, baths, quiet time. you may have also been doing a ton of reflection & that has quickly morphed into a cycle of constant overthinking. for your sake, learn to recognize thought patterns & try to stay away from triggers. falling back into doing things you used to enjoy doing as a child may benefit you.

thank you for reading ! hope something resonated <3 !

[amiya-shirou]

Spoilers about Miquella and Marika's DLC Lore

Hate how there's so much black and white perspective in the Elden Ring community, especially regarding Miquella and Marika. Sorry if this sounds too much like an aggressive rant, it's not really my intention

"Miquella did fucked up shit which clearly clashes with his previous lore about being kind and compassionate, SOTE has bad writing" even in the base game he was already said to be the most fearsome of the demigods and it was kinda implied that he made kindness his weapon as he knew well how to make others love him, perfectly consistent with Ansbach's speech

"Miquella is manipulative so obviously he never really cared about Malenia" with all the things he did for her? is it so hard to believe he truly cared about his twin sister for the sake of which he went so far as to find ways to protect her from an Outer God's influence? with Malenia seemingly knowing about Miquella's plan and everything?

"Radahn loved his horse and protected people so he was obviously a perfectly good gigachad who could never ever agree with Miquella" he was among the forces attacking Leyndell. his ideal was Godrey - a conqueror, and the first Elden Lord. having an obsession with battle and war certainly doesn't sound like someone who could never do anything wrong, no matter how honorable he might be in battle.

"Marika did a lot of bad things and was a tyrant so obviously she never held any real love for poor Messmer or even Godwin and all she cared about was power." she made blessings to help Messmer specifically, something unique enough it's specified she never did such a thing again. 2 of these are dropped by Tree Sentinels protecting her home village which she bathed with Grace and clearly held deep love for. She went to great lengths to help him with his curse when she could have just killed him or imprisoned him where he coulnd't be of harm like she did with the Omen twins. she smashed the Elden Ring, literally sacrificing her position as queen as that action put her against the Greater Will and resulted in her shackling, which definitely doesn't sound like someone who cares about power and herself alone. And about that, if she's been imprisoned ever since before the start of the game with no one knowing about it, why are most people so easily assuming she voluntarily abandoned and ignored Messmer? she physically couldn't contact him if she wanted to. Like, it's debatable, maybe she did abandon him since before the Shattering, but it definitely doesn't feel that obvious to me, and Messmer misinterpreting her disappearance feels more in tune with the FromSoft style tragedy

all this sounds like those who insisted that since Ranni caused the Shattering then of course she can only be evil and manipulative all the time and clearly holds no real affection for the Tarnished and is only manipulating us as well. Which I feel completely clashes with her questline, narrative and characterization.

Kind people can still do evil, especially if they don't fully realize how bad what they're doing is, or if they think they're making a necessary sacrifice. Cruel, fucked up people can still love, and love might be the very reason why they ended up being so cruel. This is something the whole game is built on, and even before Elden Ring, a constant of the Souls series has been about fighting tragic individuals who ended up in antagonistic positions despite their originally good intentions.

imho Marika and Miquella are both better, more complex character than they would have been otherwise, and leave more to discuss about the game's themes and narratives, specifically because they have multiple facets to them. The hated Queen of the Golden Order was originally a victim. Her kind son who tried to fix his family's wrongdoings discarded so much of himself and did so many things to achieve his dream of compassion that he ended up being just as wrong as his mother. Isn't this much more interesting than putting out an entire game-sized DLC just to say "manipulative evil queen girlboss truly didn't care about anything and just wanted power!!" and "Kindly Miquella is so perfect!!! this surely fits our 'nothing is perfect or eternal and everything is ambiguous' narrative"?

[kavehnanginto]

i was entirely wrong about you… part 2

synopsis: you realize your feelings after you brutally rejected and insulted him. regret soon followed you and you realized that it was too late, the feelings of love sprouted but you just had to ruin it. you never really thought of the fact that he was still so in-love with you, doing everything, for you to feel the same.

pairings: alhaitham, cyno x reader

more references to pride and prejudice, it also like has the same confession somewhat, only the ogs know all the references, ends like it without the cringe marriage stuff, kinda angst with a fluffy ending, character development for you and the ones you love, listen this might be more ooc unlike part one but if darcy can do it they can too, men being weak and begging is my favorite genre, a glimpse to the past yeheyyyy, lots of research references because i am so sick and tired of that shit idk why i didn’t procrastinate about it, but kinda procrastinated about this work, i got carried away writing Alhaitham’s, kinda longer than the other one

part one

ALHAITHAM

What you did might be considered brave to some and others. It had been exactly a week, some may calculate that to 7 days but you calculate it to be 168 hours of pure torture. At first, you thought such a hateful man would put nothing but hateful things in his letter, but you carefully analyzed everything about it.

That three-paragraphed letter had you on a chokehold.

It was unhealthy at this point.

All they were was just kind works, just for you. When you first met Alhaitham, it was not that of talking to a brick wall. But rather a machine designed to check out your faults and give you a solution. But your naive old self thought that just being with him was enough. Even just a few words to you, a penny of his thoughts towards you, and a little he sprinkled to your face were enough.

This is how you thought of years after. But that letter with handwriting you have never really seen associated with a sophisticated man such as him. It was filled with mistakes, crossing out some words and what not but he was smart enough never to let you see what he could’ve said.

And for him now, what he should’ve said. What he truly meant. The letter holds nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth. You didn’t need to know, because, for him, he felt, that he was the last man in the world you could hold a bond with.

And at first, that’s what you felt.

You were greeted by the loud scholars at the Akademiya. All the same, as it was before. But unlike now, you feel eyes on you. At this point, you don’t care. You need answers about what Alhaitham said, but once your pride got in the way of even being in the same room as him. Now you were just embarrassed…

You remember your early days with him in the Akademiya. He already had a big reputation from Haravatat that doubled over once he entered. You were no one. That’s why you grew to idolize a genius such as him. Ever since you were young you’re never considered. “scholar” material, adding some bit of kick to the logical ideologies of the time. You were not bright compared to your peers also, only catching up by studying more than they did. Doing more than you can.

Unlike you, Alhaitham never cared of what others thought of him. He just stood there and ended them with just a glance and when necessary hurting their ego. He was not one to be messed with. Everyone knew that. So in the end you never really knew why you were so worked up over nothing. He did make you improve your research. You regret what you said in the heat of the moment, looking back he actually helped you more than you thought.

Looking back at that letter, looking back at the years, and looking back at him. His pride this, his character that. But maybe it would’ve never come to that if you just thought from a different perspective. Maybe your advice to yourself back then was not to idolize him so much but to see him as who he is. A person. Who’s character is far different from yours. Who you should’ve appreciated rather than idealized.

With all that thought, you ended up at his office. No notice of how or why. You knew he was out today, but you missed it so you opened the door and went in. It was much more disorganized than before. Maybe you were one of the reasons, you think.

You furnished it yourself. Organizing the books the way he liked them. Dusting his vases and fluffing out his pillows. Removing every inch of dust. You remember the thought of doing this back then was for him to say thank you, which he never did, but you did remember him giving you a book saying he had no use for it. You loved the author, and so when your crush gave it to it felt like you were in the stars above.

It was probably a coincidence. Not until you saw the same book, so carefully annotated. You read it. How they both fell in love, the guy giving them a book in the library, saying how he did not need it. Next to it was a check and you saw another familiar scenario in your head. And another one. And another one. All are annotated with a check for it. Until you saw a part of the guy confessing his feelings and how they lived happily ever after. The last annotation in the book. But the same check you’ve seen before was not present.

Thinking back at everything you decided to steal the book. And when you decided to leave you saw the silhouette of another scholar. Unfamiliar you were to him, but he gave off a vibe that wants you to be intimidated.

He was 5’4.

“What are you doing in the room of the future grand sage?” You knew he already had accusations against you even if he didn’t know the entire story.

He already has his hand pointed at you. But that did not make you fold, because you don’t even know who this guy is. Who was he for you to care?

“I know you!” he realized. “Rumors have spread that the Acting Grand Sage professed his feelings towards you. Although I know that to be untrue, that master is one with high class not associate himself with the likes of you. But as a man of logic, I want to prove my hypothesis….

Are you in a relationship with the Acting Grand Sage?”

You never cared about how tense the environment became. “And if I did, I believe it does not concern you even the slightest.”

You sound cocky and that’s exactly what you were going for. He was livid to see your confidence.

“You dare to speak with me in such a manner.” He fumed. “Do you not know how unequal your standing is? How even in your wildest dreams, that is untrue. And even if he does have feelings for you, which I am sure not, you as an inferior and humble scholar know to not accept a hand of your utmost superior.”

Now you felt insulted.

“He is a scholar and so am I, what makes you believe we are not on equal footing? You are no one to decide what I should do and to speak for your master. A man free to tell he feels for me—“

“I'm tired of this! Let us stop this once and for all. Are you in a relationship with the Acting Grand Sage?” He spat so close to your mouth.

“If it pleases you to know I am not.”

“Well then, get out of this room.” An instant reply towards you. He was much more cheery now.

“Not yet.”

That day you went home with a book and a smile, while that stunted scholar complained to his “master” about something…

Night came and as you went out to the bar an unexpected guest come to your table.

“Water please,” he spoke with etiquette and good mannerly. He was given his order in a blink of an eye all the while looking at your eyes. You remember that wide gaze, but not one of defeat it was hope and chances.

“How’s your day, Haitham.” you smiled as you sipped your drink. It was nonalcoholic, but intoxicating glances were shared. It started a conversation, thank Kusanali.

You laughed at his actions and attempts at small talk.

“A scholar told me of his meeting with you,” it has been more than a minute, and his water is still untouched.

“And what about it?”

He was surprised to see your smiles that evening. Had you decided against him, you would never smile at him, never say those words. Maybe you knew something, or maybe you didn’t care for his presence. The scholar, whatever his name was, described your character using what he first described you himself in your first meeting. An obnoxious character, doing everything to garner his attention.

The worst part, it did.

Yes, he first thought that you were far behind many in terms of intelligence. But after each conversation, he shared with you. Every glance and every stare. It was already too late, to right his wrongs and then you left. You came back more mature, more distant than before. And he still actually thought there was a chance of you accepting his love.

Deep inside, he still thought you childish to think that. To actually think you will accept him, and love him back. He was a man unworthy of it.

“Did you lie about your words to him?” He spoke, he wanted to validate the data that the scholar told him. He wanted to know, so desperately, if even an ounce of your hatred towards him had started to decline. Even if your answer was a lie.

“And why would I, you know enough of my frankness to believe me incapable of doing such a thing.”

“Really?” A faint smile can be seen at his face. One that you never saw plastered in such a man.

“If I had no scruple to insult the Acting Grand Sage so abominably to his face, I find it an easy task to also do it to his subordinates.” You laughed, as he did. It was one of fondness, the way he looked, the he talked and now the way he laughed at you.

“And what did you say that I did not deserve, or was untrue?” He finally drank his fill. “You were right in every sense of my character. I did treat you in an unworthy manner, a manner in which I would not be so surprised for you to ever forgive.”

“I believe so too. But I have came to learn that I judged so poorly, once judged you too good. I never really thought you were a person and I have so many times in my mind thought you devoided of every proper feeling. I was wrong. I was entirely wrong—“

He sighed of displeasure of your reply.

“Enough of your guilt, an emotion not expected for you to have on me. If you still despise me, I will disappear and I will be sure to let you never see me again. Because I still love you, you might have changed your opinion of me but I assure you, even if you’ll hate me more of it. I will never change.” He started. “But if you would rather have someone less aloof, someone more comforting then maybe changing myself never seemed so possible except now.”

The bar was loud. Filled with laughter of the other tables, but it still felt like the moment stopped. All irrelevant joys they felt were completely inferior to the one that you felt.

“I was raised with good morals, but pride followed when I was swarmed with compliments and achievements. My character would have been narcissistic and emotionless, if not for you. Dearest and loveliest of them all.” His hand reached out to you and you held his hand as tightly and quickly as you could. “Even if you don’t love me now, even if you never will. This act of kindness you showed me will be one that I shall never forget.”

You both were out in the open outside. Rain poured once more in the deep night. You were ready to say what you truly feel. But instead… you leaned closer and now on the tip of your toes, left hand on the back of his head. You kissed him. No words of love could ever match up to how it felt.

Both your clothes were soaking wet with the cold rain. But never have both of you felt so warm, basking in each other’s comfort.

CYNO

You were out in the ruins to further investigate. You are very much capable of going solo, but looking back it could’ve been the two of you. So you decided to have Tighnari come along as he suggested. All this time you never knew how he felt. He never said. But all this time he had feelings for you. And no matter how much you doubt this, nor thought of it blasphemous. If you knew one thing about Cyno, it was that he never lied.

His letter still in your pocket was one of the things you brought to the ruins. And it went more smoothly than usual, the traps were easily deconstructed, and it seemed good luck. It has been five days since that happen, instead of thinking about your research you thought about him.

He was still horrible to you. It was no excuse. But he did like you, for a long time. And you said nothing,

Just like he did.

And you did nothing.

But, so did he.

So you can’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t blame yourself. But deep inside, you knew you had a fault, and wanting to be the bigger person you wanted to give an apology. But he was nowhere to be found, you missed another pair of hands. It was much easier with him around. Well, keeping tabs on whether your knowledge is valid and correct is the Matra’s job. So you were ecstatic to know they agreed to help you, you just weren’t informed he was the General Mahamatra.

It did not help how kind he was to you. How he wasn’t like before. How he forgot the past, but you never did. But now you felt silly. Maybe in some way, you did have new friends, but you would have still liked him there too. Perhaps, he thought himself replaced but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. The happy moments of your life were with him.

Childhood truly felt like a dream.

“You’re deep in thought,” Tighnari mentioned. “This ruin feels like it had already been in the hands of others before ourselves. A good thing in our hands, as it is much safer to roam around and see what is left behind.”

“A lot stayed really,” you replied. “This has been so smooth sailing and I’m starting to get suspicious.”

Tighnari chuckled. And you both finally validated the controversial research, which from the start you and Cyno knew to be true. But you knew that it would take more evidence than this. The Grand Sage personally had not so kind words to say about it, and so you knew to work harder. The research was one of the dreams, how Sumeru can dream but there is a blockage or a reason as to why. The whole Akademiya despised it and sent the researcher to Aaru village.

This ruin tells the history of Sumeru and the past. How they were much more than logical minds and realistic futures. How Sumeru could dream, and thinking can only take us so far.

So after a few weeks, you finally published your research, and the whole Akademiya went mad. And you still slipped in Cyno’s name. They were scandalized by the publication and many choices for you to be sent to Aaru village next. But at this point, you never really cared. You just realized so much. Thought about so much.

You remember fondly about childhood and thought of your dreams way back. Of the best times in your life, and how much he was there. And then the angst of puberty came along. You were a wild party animal, while for some reason maintaining high grades. Although you weren’t comparable to him, you never thought him capable of him thinking what you thought of him.

How he can’t reach you…

How much he liked you…

How he didn’t deserve you…

The letter with his voice all in your mind. The scholars below are just questioning your rationality, all the supporting members of your research you destroyed.

So that only one has to suffer… It’s fine, maybe lowering your pride was the best thing you could have ever done to him. After so many years of only looking at what Cyno lacked, you thought about what he gave you, and what he had to suffer. Maybe it was just you being selfish. Maybe his affections have changed now that everyone gossips about you.

The thought prisoned your mind all night, it was much more than losing everything now. And as you stare out to the warm gaze of the sun, melancholically standing in a chair, waiting for some scholars to force you to your destiny. Regret only filled your mind. Maybe even he thought you were mad. But the scholars never came, and no investigation ever took play.

You went to your workplace, and your peers greeted you all the same. It was as if nothing happened. It felt like a breeze, you wanted to know how, but were still afraid to ask for maybe they remember and it will all repeat. It felt like a dream, it felt like a sigh of relief. And when you all went and dined you never smiled like that before. You need to visit the Dendro Archon herself and thank her.

“Hello, it seems you’re in a good mood.” Tighnari observed and you nodded.

“Well I could’ve been in Aaru village out there in the wilderness or whatnot, but considering here I am freely sipping my wine. I think it’s only right to be a little happy.” He nodded, agreeing with your statement.

He joined in after a few minutes and you begin a lighthearted conversation.

“Well everyday I think I will visit a Statue of the Seven,” you mused. “I have a lot to thank the Gods for.”

You sipped a wine as he took the bottled and filled his glass.

“Well not only that, if the Matras themselves approved of your research you could’ve gone poof any time.” You flinched at his statement. Not at the thought of what could’ve happened to you. No your selective mutism didn’t even hear that, but the fact that the Matras did that.

Even after your meeting with Tighnari, getting ready to go to bed, and having trouble sleeping. It was all that filled your mind. You knew that the Matras never really cared about your research, and how much they tell you that they’re only doing this since the General Mahamatra was so curious about it himself.

You wanted to see him… so many new thoughts have formed and you thought it was too late. He probably took pity on you, or thought of the research as truth like you did and so wanted very much to preserve its contents.

Yeah. Maybe.

All lights were nowhere to be found. Except out in your window where the night sky can be so vividly seen. You knew what you had to do tomorrow, and that was to finally confront your feelings. Your thoughts leading up to this moment. Him.

Cyno.

And with that, you finally slept, and there came a new morning. Getting ready and leaving was always easier when you had an important objective. But the cold always gave you chills more than it should. You then asked all the Matras in town about his presence, and no one gave you any positive answers. Proportionally, 73% told you that they have not seen him and 12% told you that they did see him earlier and 15% straight up ignored your question and left. Fine.

As you were waking mindlessly in the desert you were ambushed by a group of Eremites. Even if you don’t have weapons, it didn’t matter as you defeat one by one with ease. At least that’s what you thought, your stamina was running out but they were not and so in the heat of the moment, you were about to let them in.

Not until…

You once saw again, after all this time, the purple glow of a spear that filled you with nostalgia. You saw it glow at every single one of the Eremites until they all were like dominoes, falling one by one. He had his back turned against you trying to rest until his breath was stable.

“I heard you were looking for me?” The gust of wind flew the same way my rationality let go when I saw him once more.

“Yes, thats correct.” You gave a swift reply.

He then went to you and helped you get up and after that tried to keep his distance.

“First, I wanna say thank you,” you fixed your posture and he was avoiding to look at your eyes. It was fine. “I know how hard it was to persuade the other Matras. Thank you on behalf of the research I wrote and the many people that will finally think about this dubious system.”

A frown formed his face. He inched a closer towards you, maybe thinking he heard wrong.

“So thank you.”

“If you thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Although I do everything for the safety and advancement of my dear country, I believe I thought only of you. In these past few days and weeks.” He replied, as he finally looks you in the eye. “You are too generous to go and waste your time to thank me, so keep your gratitude to yourself. You were brave for publishing it.”

You hugged him. “I’d rather not. Another thing is my sincerest apology. You were not distant, nor mean, nor prideful. I was entirely wrong about you. Don’t tell me that this sorry should not have been said because this is what my heart wanted to say ever since that letter. I have judged you but never myself. I’m sorry for putting my blame on you.”

“I deserve it. Every word you said that day was true. In my imagination, I only thought of your forgiving me but I would never expect that it was you who wanted to apologize. I understand where you’re coming from, but… if your feeling were what they were that day tell me so at once. But if you feel more than just a negative thought and judgment towards me, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but what you feel and what you tell me will not change what I feel but change how I’ll act.”

You both were closer than you have ever been in that hug. His face, you need not know, was full of hope.

“I’m ashamed to think of what I said there. Don’t you dare repeat it!” You finally broke the hug to look into his eyes. “And about my feelings, they are no longer that of despise and prejudice, rather they are quite the opposite.”

He smiled, the first one you saw in a long time. If the people of Sumeru saw him as he is at this moment, no one would even think of him to be intimidating. He was just like every other man, holding the person he loves and relaxing in their presence. He knew his feelings outshined that of yours, but maybe someday the sentiment will be shared.

“I love you Cyno.”

But this will do, he had no complaints when he was finally home in your arms.

That was kinda long and i hoped you enjoyed it. @nagisuterus @sumiriexo theres your tag sorry im kinda late on this one my bad. I was shocked that the first one was actually like lol thanks so much @sadbutwhy is just me pls 😢 im dumb enough to post on side blogs

[smallblueandloud]

i've been SUPER blocked, fic-wise, this month. but i'd really like to write a bit and get another story out in time for june! so i'm gonna think out loud for a little while

here are the fics i've got ongoing, and why i'm stuck on them:

éponine de bergerac: the next scene is a complex one, with éponine meeting cosette's dad. i don't really trust my ability to write jean valjean, nor do i really know what purpose this scene has to fulfill, other than jean approving of éponine. this isn't really based on a scene in cyrano itself or roxanne (1987), so i kinda don't have a road map. maybe i just write a little bit of the dinner and then move on? but then i have to solve my overall plot problems. oh shit the balcony scene can happen over text can't it. okay. i'm gonna investigate that later.

universal translator malfunction: unfortunately the dark side of writing casefic is that you need a case underneath it all. i don't know what's causing the malfunction in the first place. i've written every scene that got me to start this fic in the first place so now i have no idea how to resolve it

natlaura soulmates installment: i realized a few days ago that clint has to get kidnapped and now i'm procrastinating writing this casefic, too. it needs to happen, we need JUSTIFICATION for clint and nat hiding laura away, that's the whole emotional tension of the fic. unfortunately i don't feel like writing a kidnapping, especially trying to figure out how to convey natasha's competence from a civilian (laura's) perspective :/ maybe i'll figure out how to include melinda may somehow, that might make it more fun to work on

quarrel (13 meets mickey/martha rewrite): tbh i've been vaguely thinking that i should rewatch s11 before i go back to writing 13. which... i don't think is necessary, to be honest, given how superficially 13 is characterized in s11. i think most of the problem here is just procrastination and a bit of boredom.

and then some other vague ideas i could try to flesh out...

now that s14 is over i want to write something for doctor who. i'm really debating what. i kinda want ruby to hang out at the temple-noble house but the existence of tenthree makes that feel sour to me -- i don't like that there's a doctor chilling on earth who's presumeably ignoring every former companion who's within driving distance. but maybe tenthree is just conveniently off-world or something. maybe the family is hiding tenthree's existence from ruby? or maybe ruby meets tenthree and realizes he's fundamentally the doctor but Still Not Really Her Friend.

oh. relatedly. the memory TARDIS reminded me about all of my TARDIS feels. i would love to write a fic related to the TARDIS, esp the TARDIS kitchen (kitchens are my favorite space in basically any universe). hmm. maybe this could tie into my ruby sendoff.

oh as always also the ever-classic: the fam meets jack harkness but instead of realizing he's a friend, they hear the way he talks about the doctor and assume he's the master.

okay i'm gonna try to talk about non-doctor who ideas now.

leverage ot3 getting-together fic that my good friend basically outlined into my dms and now i really want to write because it's so good. i'm not sure i have faith in my ability to keep ahold of the relevant emotional threads but hey it's probably worth a shot.

i literally have no idea what but i want to write something for the fast and furious series. definitely something featuring mia and/or letty. maybe about hispanidad. and also queerness.

luke and leia force dyad? five times they shared something? quantum entanglement from beru's perspective? han figuring out about the force bond at some point, possibly before the twins themselves?

...a scene set in the fullmetal alchemist version of the xmen. mostly i just want to talk about jean grey, flame alchemist, and her longsuffering assistant lieutenant summers.

that fic i keep talking about where yelena and natasha meet clint and yelena cannot fathom how deeply natasha trusts this guy. unfortunately this one would be super noncompliant with the black widow movie but, like, not in obvious ways, so i'd have to MAKE that obvious, and it would get clumsy pretty quickly

...so i'm clearly not DOOMED, okay, i have a BILLION ideas. i just have to sit down and write them!

maybe tomorrow i'll go the library after my nice fancy brunch that i've already planned out. that would be a lovely saturday treat

[librathefangirl]

i need to know about all of these fics NOW (no pressure take your time ofc ofc)

Wrath of a Captain

Moment of Rest (a Decade Too Late)

Hitmen!Demon bros AU

Galand exposes Meliodas' demon secret

How to Demon (Yes, Captain, This is Really Necessary)

Meliodas and the Kids AU #1

also never realized how silly i name my documents till now 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️

Ahh hearing you excited about all these is making me excited to write them again (hoping to get back to writing more soon - october was a mess and a half :( but I have 2 whumptober fics that I almost finished that should maybe might be posted soon?)

Okay so...

Wrath of a Captain

Fun fact about this one is that it was one of (possibly the) first nnt fic ideas I wrote down when I first got into the fandom. Tho in what - 1-1,5 years? - I've still barely started writing it (oops). But not for lack of interest! I'm still excited about this one, I just haven't been able to specify the scenario enough to start writing (I keep getting distracted by other fic ideas lol).

To summarize the idea in three words: Protective Captain Meliodas.

And here's a rough summary I wrote for myself:

The Seven Deadly sins were a well-known force only fools would take lightly. Though faced with a captain that was small and short, and seemed the complete opposite of wrath itself, it was easy to underestimate him. But just because the captain didn't get angry, didn't mean he never got close. Especially if one were foolish enough to dare attack his team.

A Moment of Rest (a Decade Too Late)

This is a fic I started this summer and then kinda forgot about (oh the art of finishing a fic before moving on to the next one). It takes place after the Capital of the Dead arc and deals with the aftermath of Sins being split-up for 10 years from King's perspective. Now, I can't remember, if it originally was supposed to be "Meliodas was alone for 10 years" angst or "Meliodas was alone for 10 years and demons don't do well in isolation" angst, but it's probably gonna end up being the second one now. Which means the rest of the Sins, while not knowing Meliodas' full story, knows he is a demon and how these past 10 years would have affected him because of it.

Here's a little sneak peek:

The princess had already retired into the Boar Hat, while Ban had simply settled for grabbing Meliodas and sprawling out on the ground. He wasn’t sleeping. His ease was a facade at best. King knew that he too was plagued by these past ten years, and the guilt they brought. It had never been supposed to go this far… Meliodas seemed dazed. A state hopefully only brought forth by the lull of sleep slowly claiming him. He wasn’t quite asleep yet though. To an outsider he might have seemed to be, but King knew him better. His guard was still firmly up, although slowly but surely being picked apart by Ban’s hand repeatedly running through his hair. Meliodas was curled up tighter than he normally would, yet at the same time more relaxed than King had seen him since before they were framed. His head was neatly tucked on top of Ban’s chest. Ear over his heart, no doubt. He’d always had a particular fondness of that, their captain. Easily soothed by the beat of a heart – by the beat of their hearts at least.

Hitmen!Demon bros AU

Oooh this one. thiiiis one! I'm still mostly in the planning stage for this one, but I can't wait until I get to share the full thing with you all. Like the name suggests, it's a modern (possibly slight futuristic) AU where the DK raised his sons as hitmen. It's gonna be a multichapter fic (probably my longest wip yet) and there will be lots of demon bros angst!

Fun fact, while the I had thought about this AU a bit, I wasn't necessarily planning on writing it at first. Then my mind provided me with this super angsty demon bros scene and an awful chapter cliffhanger, and well, now I'm invested. I need to know how this story ends. (If this sounds familiar, I did mention this once before).

Anyway, I have written the first 300-something words, setting up the angst before a jump back in time, so here's a sneak peek:

Perhaps one of the most defining moments in Meliodas’ life happened on January 29th the year he was turning 26. The day Meliodas found himself on a rooftop staring down his own little brother, a raised gun in both their hands aimed at each other. The only sound was the falling rain as the world itself seemed to hold its breath waiting for who would make the first move. At that moment, Meliodas had thought he had known exactly how the day would end. He had known it in the calculating part of his mind that he never could quite shut off, and had felt it in his heart that seemed to break every time he saw his little brother. He had thought he knew what would happen. He had been wrong. Everybody has a choice, but sometimes it doesn’t matter what you chose.

Galand exposes Meliodas' demon secret

Now this one I've shared a bit about before - partly to complain about my (still going strong) habit of stopping my writing in the middle of a sentence. Sadly, I haven't really made any progress since then. Mostly because I can't remember where tf the story was supposed to go (did I even have a plan?? I found the story aka the snippet of writing in a school notebook I hadn't used for months, so who knows).

Anyway! What I do know is that Galand fucks everything up on purpose, and is the one to reveal Meliodas' demon secret to the rest of the Sins. How the story continues from there, well, I'll figure that out eventually. For now, the last part of the fic looks like this:

It had all started with a confrontation with one of the Ten Commandments. Galand of Truth. He hadn’t even seemed to be looking for a fight – not in that moment anyway – King had noticed. He’d just been there to stir up trouble. Always playing games as usual¸ Meliodas had said. Well, games or not, Galand really had caused trouble. The demon had been quick to pick up on the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins’ surprise that Meliodas seemed to know him personally, and then deduced...DEDUCED WHAT??

How to Demon (Yes, Captain, This is Really Necessary)

This is actually a request/fic idea I got from a reader on ao3. It's also mostly still in the planning stage, having taken a backseat to my Febuwhump fic. But the idea is basically Melin giving a lesson on demons to the Sins with the (reluctant) aid of Meliodas. Or in other words, Merlin is sick of being (almost) the only one who knows how to keep Mel alive and will make it everybody's probably whether they want to or not. It'll also take place in the same AU as The Heat of the Storm (which means more of my demon thermoregulation, yay! - oh, actually, sidenote: I'm working on a post about that hc).

So, we'll have random demon lore/headcanons/stuff, some humor, and, of course, angst (probably more angst than should come from this otherwise humorous idea).

Meliodas and the Kids AU #1

The first of (at least) three fics taking place in the Meliodas and the Kids AU (aka Meliodas Adopts the Sins). In this AU, instead of the Sins becoming knights together way down the line, Meliodas ends up adopting/taking them in as kids* over the years.

Now, I use the term kids loosely here since neither King nor Gowther will actually be kids in the normal sense. But Gowther will be on his own for the first time and also still new to the world, and King, well, I still got some ideas for his relationship with Mel (and also, he is still significantly younger than Mel, so I say he still counts as his kid).

This first fic will consist of six chapters (one for each "kid"), exploring how Meliodas ended up taking them all in, and the dynamics of this mismatched little family (mostly the kids relationships' with Mel).

(Also Elizabeth is probably gonna be dead-dead in this AU).

Here's a sneak peek from the first (Merlin's) chapter:

When you find yourself stuck in time, it’s good to set up some rules for yourself, unless you want to lose yourself to madness. Meliodas didn’t have the luxury for madness. Madness was not going to solve anything. He would still be stuck here, unaging and undying, without an end in sight. Submitting to madness would also be admitting that the only purpose his life had left was suffering. An eternity alone in the human realm as a punishment for his crimes against the Demon King. His father was a huge asshole, okay? Meliodas was not about to give him the satisfaction of watching him break. So, he made some rules. The most important one was: do not get attached. [some other stuff not included in this sneak peek] Do not get attached. It was simple and important – and Meliodas had broken the rule before he had even made it.

(also I love your wip titles XD and will definitely send an ask for some ramblings of your own - but that will have to wait, I've got an 8am lecture in less than 7 hours and need to get some sleep, so Imma put a to be continued on the wip talk for now)

WIP Tag/Ask Game!

[weebsinstash]

As someone who reads a lot but has no experience writing myself I didn't notice any drop in quality. It seemed to be the same level to me and I particularly enjoy your characterization of mic and aizawa as well as the added depth from the scene between mic and the repair guy. However if I HAD to give a criticism the part about the guy from when reader was young felt a little too long, the same could kinda be said for the exposition about the mom but that felt important enough to the readers persona that it was necessary. These aren't really that bad but its just a personal opinion!

I still absolutely loved the chapter though it was a delightful treat that I thoroughly enjoyed reading!

Maybe that was the part that one person didnt like, the exposition stuff? I really wish they had left a little more constructive criticism besides just telling me straight up "this should have stayed in your drafts, youre out of practice and i can tell" because how tf am I supposed to catch my mistakes and improve without good feedback 🥺 everyone has different standards for what they read so feedback from all different kinds of people could really be beneficial...

Anyways!

So while it was kind of an exposition/info dump, the part with the Reader having an inappropriate relationship with a stranger online specifically a male one is actually relevant to several things, which if it hasn't been apparent due to the fact he's never been mentioned, Reader's father was not present in her life, and not because he's dead or anything (it really isnt a massive spoiler to tell you guys he was just a deadbeat and Reader's mom had full custody and he kind of just pissed off and will make a brief unimportant cameo in the next installment of the series which will in fact be the last one, at least so is the plan). As someone with personal experience, you grow up as a young girl without a father and it can give you extremely different perspectives on men, especially when there has been abuse, and it can make you EXTREMELY VULNERABLE to positive male attention. It's to sort of establish a pattern of Reader needing a form of external acceptance and validation and how she has her own trauma and mental health struggles, especially in regards to men.

Like idk child abuse or being sexual with a kid tw but I remember when i used to go on Justin TV as a minor like idk probably 15 or 16, there was a streamer I would watch sometimes, his username was Tekker or something, and he eventually started getting flirty and stuff with me and in hindsight he was definitely uh a creep. I was a minor and he knew that and he'd be livestreaming him playing like resident evil and he'd like make jokes about, God what even was it, giving me anal as a punishment for being a smart-ass with him because you know obviously anal isn't, for everyone lmao and can hurt and like WOW

But even with those massive red flags I really liked the positive attention he gave me, like it legitimately got me flustered when I sent him my picture and he said I was beautiful and he would call me jailbait 💀 like I bought a microphone to chat with this dude and would play games on stream with him 💀💀💀 this is a subject I have personal experience with. It's kind of to establish Reader had Some Issues that leave her vulnerable to being manipulated by men and also making poor choices because she has deep abandonment issues and needing to be accepted and loved. So now, as it stands, she is slowly becoming complacent to her situation, especially when you also tackle that with the realization that if she were to get free she would go right back to a way of living that was legitimately making her miserable and suicidal

Like for real the planned ending I have for this story is probably going to make a decent number of you go Oh Honey Why Would You Do That :C

It's fucked up, but for Reader there are actually many benefits to her captivity and you couple that with her captors being excessively supportive and affectionate with her and you have a kidnapping victim slowly falling in love with her captors and saying "im a stupid idiot and I'll never have anything better and no one will probably love me like they so, and I'm a loser anyways, so I guess I'm just fucked, I probably deserve to die anyways, who cares what happens at this point, im too tired and apathetic to fight anyways"

Of course the fate of Reader's mom, which is kind of glaringly obvious tbh, but the exact details of what I will call The Mountain Incident are to be revealed in probably the next chapter or two? It's kind of just sadness porn but, it's another layer to why Reader kind of just fell apart and dropped out of Hero School and was too unable to handle the stress to work. Because realistically she experienced something extremely traumatic and had no support system while basically pushed into the deep end of being fully self sufficient and she eventually just burned out trying to do everything on her own, and then you have Mic and Eraser to the rescue to forever further skew her feelings of "see I'm helpless and stupid, I can't take care of myself, I should just let them make the decisions for me"

But yeah, thanks for submitting your feedback, it means a lot! General reception has been really nice so far and it's so nice to see how excited everyone is for an update and I'm looking forward to hopefully getting more things out soon! I'm just trying to even think of how many chapters are left? We're on 7 right now, so, hmm... at the current rate... I'd say... maybe 4 or 5? And then after this story is finished, I think the best course of action for the final part is that i write a significant portion of it before I upload anything so then that can combat being stuck in a plot hole and putting things off haha. Anyways thanks again!

[pasharuu]

my process of making a comic for public vk ask is precise: pick a question, get the general idea and make a silly doodle teasing it, brainstorm about that (i usually write it up so i wont forget everything in a second), compose and finally illustrate. so today i wanna show you one of the brainstorms. i usually write these up just along the way, noting everything that comes to my mind, and in russian of course, but this time i made it as clean as possible, and also as short as possible... these are sometimes super massive, especially if i get to theorizing (i usually do). its just a funny thing to share because i too think that my texts are very absurd fr. and also its a practice, i have english exam in less than a month. alright, lemme copy and paste it from my memos and pretend we're getting started.

=======

so there is an age old question lying in arana's askbox (literally september 2nd.. and its unanswered, luckily for me) that is basically about why arana ended up befriending rana, and the person specified how could she become so devoted solely to rana. when i saw that, i once again confirmed to myself how poorly people know the story of aranyaka, but im not mad about that at all, its rather an opportunity for me to tell a story! simply answering the question with a little of a correction would be too boring, so i decided that i will only use post-aranyaka arana as a talking head to make things more interesting. the key is that she had forgotten everything we learned during the questline, so with that she will only have to assume stuff. stories are a thing, of course, but a very different thing. so this is a setup that hopefully will make things more intriguing. with that said, let me try to solve a problem the asking person stated previously to debut myself.

first of all, i want to state why arana is not devoted solely to rana. she actually told us otherwise: she is basically a babysitter for all the children of vimara village, probably she's even been caring for generations of them considering how old she is. plus, rana is an adult and she cant see aranara, and so arana. arana still does watch over her, but she doesnt hang out with her anymore. with such a summation theres no way arana would be dedicated only to rana. we get to focus on rana because she is in trouble, and thats how things always go: when someone is ill, they need more care to get healthy again. arana is just committing a genuine help in a serious situation, just like she did with iotham by the way.

so the little misunderstanding is solved, now moving onto the difficult part. how will arana explain herself? of course i will not let rana speak majorly, best at all even. this is the difficulty, because rana is the one who remembers. arana still must be aware of being friends with rana and the children from the village in the past, but lets get into her perspective for a moment.

its a cool concept to have someone who barely knows the subject to talk about that subject: they will make mistakes, make assumptions, be unsure about their statements, etc. meanwhile everyone else are well aware about the subject, so they will notice all the inaccuracy. just let arana assume! let her make as many wrong statements as possible, but end up being sure about one thing: rana is still dear to her no matter what. perhaps she doesnt fully realize the value of this connection, but this is not important. despite aranara being largely focused on memories, arana lives the current moment, and that may be why she rejected on becoming vasara tree, to live freely and feel this current moment. i went kinda philosophical about this, but thats a necessary part. this is basically what i want to say with this, a moral of the story. sure thing the past may be dear to you, but you will never have an opportunity go back there, doomed to stay in the present. however, its up to you what you want this present to be, to make it a precious past one day.

lmao this is literally where i might end playing role of arana for making the most philosophically filled comic of all i ever made. only have to compose it well now, which is even harder than this brainstorming to me, so now i retreat and start making the idea alive, because all the previous steps are completed.

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

You're back!! Oh man, you're back, that's awesome. I'm so glad you're okay. I followed Defective chapter by chapter when you first posted it. It was legit one of my most favorite fanfics of all time in any fandom, I probably read it ten times, and it made me so, so sad when it was gone. Thank you so much for reposting it, and all your other work. I thought I would never get to read it again.

I dunno if you know how much just... joy, your work has given me. I mean, Defective made me actually cry the first time I read it, I loved it so much and I still do. I'm pretty sure it was one of the first good quality long-form fics in the fandom, and I was always so hyped when a new chapter dropped. Your work was part of what got me through my first year of college, because everything else really sucked, so I was so glad I could read your works, they really helped me through it.

I know it's cheesy, but just... thank you. Thank you so much, for your writing and your posts. I'm glad you're doing better. I don't know if you realize how many people you helped with your work, and I'm just so glad you're back.

yeah I apologize for leaving abruptly out of nowhere without warning. some stuff happened and I just wanted a fresh start from everything ever at the time, so I scrapped anything I could

funny enough I'm bad with words but it means so much to me that what I create has real impact on people and that for some people I'm able to give them just one more reason to stick around through the bad times, even if it's just to see how a story ends. I genuinely love my readers and any time I get comments or asks from you guys I'm thrilled because it's so cool to hear your perspectives and interpretations and to get to interact with the audience rather than just watching the hit count go up

kinda surprised you've read it that many times over but flattered nonetheless anon. Defective I think had so much more potential than what it currently is but it was a necessary stepping stone for future stories to turn out better, but I'll always love it no matter what because when I wrote it it came from grief that I was still processing, so it's very personal to me. touching when others are able to appreciate it so much and I hope that maybe reading it has helped them process their own emotions too

[folklauerate]

anj ur fics are so fun and well-crafted i am a huge secret admirer of them who has been following u for a yr (and i respect the dilf prof anthony agenda frfr it's always the english depts too getting called daddy thank u for this homage) but omfg as someone in the humanities phd track, i cannot help but ask why kate is so young for a prof???? esp since almost all humanities profs start a fulltime teaching position at 28-30 yrs old minimum... i had a hard time imagining how 25 yr old would allowed to teach as a professor full-time by effect of her 'merit' unless it's some exploitative semi-illegal gag clause contingency hidden in her contract that renders her basically a 'pre-'grad student but w/o even their flimsy benefits n protections which actually usually is the case... 😭😭 knowing the dysfunctional politics embedded in uk and north american tenure systems, i unfortunately couldnt get past it! but looking forward to ur milf kate writing, hope u dont find this question too nosy or offensive lol (i enjoyed the fic for what it is hehe) i realize traumatized phds r probs not the target audience of this fic nor entitled to an explanation for why ur not reading and incorporating paywalled exposes of uni working conditions into a fic but was still curious if u were just taking reference from a different context or more ethical precedent of academic labor (which may ease my conscious reading it haha). tysm!

First of all—thank you! I appreciate you reading and being a secret admirer (tho I promise I don’t bite, ur always welcome to say hey!). I appreciate it 💘

Second of all—lmfao I was wondering when I’d get this ask or comment 😭😭😭😭😭 I just knew there’d be some poor phd student or some professor reading this fic who’d be like “hang on… what’s that?” and the answer I’ve got for you is let’s have a healthy dose of suspension of complete disbelief because it was the only way I could make this work 🤓

I wanted it to be an age gap because I wanted to write an age gap but I didn’t want there to be too horrible of a power imbalance that would definitely come with it being a student/professor relationship. That was just too far for me to personally go, even though with the ages I have them at, it would be the most realistic thing. Idk making them student/professor made me feel icky. I suppose I could’ve made her work some admin job within the university but I really liked the idea of them both teaching, and I originally planned on having him sort of rediscover his own love of teaching thanks to her enthusiasm. For some background (this didn’t make it into the fic, but I did hint at it); Anthony specializes in teaching a lot of western lit canon/comp lit things and Kates specializes in post-colonial lit/Asian American lit, and I liked the idea of her challenging his perspectives and changing up some of the ways he approaches his work and the things he assigns, and that all helping him rediscover his love of teaching as well. There’s a repeated theme in this oneshot of rebirth; how love can find us at unexpected times and make the world feel brand new again. I kinda heavy-handedly drove the theme home when he says I love you and I write that it washes over Kate like rainwater in spring—a sort of nod to baptism/rebirth imagery, a nod to rain being necessary for renewal even though she’s afraid of storms but the storm scene is a huge turning point for them, and rain and springtime and rebirth etc lol. ANYWAYS—all this to say, I really do try and make things as realistic as possible, because that matters to me and I like world building and tbh I do get paranoid that someone might read my fic and go “oh well that’s wrong, a mechanic would never say that” or something lol, but it is fanfiction land and I do have to make some concessions to make the story work in the way I want it to work, and I sort of ended up here lol! Trust me, though, I totally hear you; I was an English major myself (if you couldn’t tell) with a concentration in post-colonial lit and a minor in poli-sci and for a while I thought I’d get my masters or a PhD in the humanities and then teach, before a professor discouraged me from it bc ya know this is the US and that usually means a lot of debt and no teaching positions lol. But all that to say—I totally hear you! It’s not realistic and it’s icky if you work/study in it and know exactly what the dark and ugly side of academia looks like! But most folks probably didn’t catch that bc no one really knows what it’s like until you’re in it tbh. I tried to sort of make it work by having her have these two masters degrees (again, insane) and be some sort of wunderkind and exciting new voice in the post-colonial lit field that Agatha just had to bring on lmao. Basically it’s not perfect and it doesn’t totally work irl, but it’s not too big of a plot point besides getting them in the same place, and it’s not a huge focus, just in the background as they’re grading things or walking around campus, and I hope it doesn’t totally impede your ability to read it, but I totally understand if it does 😭

[spikeinthepunch]

Whenever I play a new thing that inspires me it's hard to Not talk about the thing a lot. But something thats been on my mind for a bit since starting my game jam game and now playing Lisa is the idea of exploring tough and dark subjects. I really held back on some ideas for Penrose because I was nervous about the potential reactions. I wanted to make it a cult, with some fantasy elements added in to slightly detach it from reality at least. Even so I am still "censoring" a lot of the events and situations within the concept i want to work with- and to some degree they aren't relevant/things i need in my characters/stories, but also i know some i skip bc deep down i know they feel like 'too much'.

Regardless of what feels necessary in my story, playing Lisa really hit me again with that obstacle I face of writing dark subjects. I experienced a lot of things, stuff that would be considered "dark subjects". But even so I hesitate on telling a story with any of it. But then here I am playing a game like Lisa and I'm just like. Right. You can do that. And people can like the game. if anything, people may even praise it for tackling it in a way that isnt done with intent to offend.

one of my first really 'dark' stories with hard subjects i was going to make was Cryptolalia actually. with Theo. I made him when i was 15 or so, and he reflected much of my initial reactions to realizing trauma. but when i got older i felt like i didnt want to tell it like that. it felt way too revealing, which i think is important to recognize with telling something that reflects you! but i had also gotten nervous abt doing it because i had kinda heard too much about people being upset at triggering games due to subject matter (with the false mindset that triggering people is bad at all), people arguing a lot about whether or not you meet criteria to tell those stories, lots of back and forth about what people may consider is romanticizing, or people getting very subjective about stories with dark subjects to where theyd really fight that it was done poorly, etc.

and well, on a personal end- i have also come to realize i have dismissed/avoided much of my issues id want to retell in a therapeutic way-- over the years and after taking that out of my stories (which is still for good reason), some of that anxiety also just comes from putting those subject back in. regardless of the reason, i obviously dont think every story need that- i dont really think i plan to put in a ton of horrible things into Cryptolalia, but also the story worked in many places because of that, and i think it may be the one reason i felt so held back on some story elements. when you write as aspect with a concept in mind, then you take part of that out then... well, it doesnt really work again.

in my head i say to myself that tackling and writing about a lot of these tough subjects is fine and good, i have opened up way more than 15 year old me. yet despite all my open mindedness and change in perspective, i kinda fail to apply this to myself as much as i want to. honestly i have been sitting here with two OC stories for almost a decade and i have felt stuck for a variety of reasons. the reason isnt this 100%. but i feel like i have spent way too long avoiding the idea of doing anything related to this, and i need to really stop if i want to actually keep creating anything that comes to mind.

[applepi00]

Because I’m not done talking about it, here’s some meta nobody asked for about When the Sun Goes Black

I’ve probably mentioned before that it was originally conceptualized as a Chuuya centric fic, but as you all probably know by now I have a thing about guilt so writing this story from Dazai’s perspective just came so much easier to me. It just felt more natural to be writing from the observer position, unable to actually do much but watch and note and feel about it.

I’ve also mentioned that part of the hospital scenes, particularly the first one with Dazai crunching himself in a chair was inspired by some fanart. Further more the repeated image of lying awake next to some one was inspired heavily by Famous Last Words by MCR, particularly the bridge: “I see you lying next to me / With words I thought I'd never speak / Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead / 'Cause I see you lying next to me / With words I thought I'd never speak / Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead”. Though on that thing about keeping watch, and how it does come up a few times, I thought it would be a really nice touch for care without it being too touchy-feely? Because it almost comes off as practical, but it’s so firmly entrenched in motivations that it does feel like something skk would do for each other: Dazai, private as he is, would want his privacy maintained should he be unable to uphold it himself, likewise Chuuya would want his autonomy in place wouldn’t want to be poked and prodded at more than necessary, and because they know each other so well this is a thing they do for each other: Dazai watches that nothing more than necessary is done in hospital, and Chuuya watches that nobody sees any of Dazai’s private moments of weakness.

The fic itself was written with the intentions of being gen/platonic, because I don’t think knowing someone is inherently romantic and I don’t think intimacy whether physical or emotional has to be romantic either, however I did tag both the platonic tag and the ship tag when I actually posted because I know some people would be inclined to read it as slash or pre-slash, which is their prerogative and I don’t particularly mind. (And also maybe I hoped it would boost interaction, I’m well aware that gen fics don’t often get as much attention as ship stuff, as of yet that may have been a good call considering the stats). So however you want to define the relationship in this fic is I suppose based on your perceptions, I define it simply as partners but whether you want to call it friends or QPPs or romantic or whatever else is up to you the reader.

I also realized while writing it that I have kinda conflicting thoughts in my head of Dazai with medical stuff: there’s old headcanons rattling around about medical based traumas that I don’t really vibe with as much now that we have more canon to work with, another marble thinks it’s funny if Dazai doesn’t know anything medical —like doesn’t even know how to take blood pressure doesn’t know— despite being fostered by a doctor, and a third part (the part that reared during this) was that Dazai just has medical terminology rattling in his skull with no actual use for it (hence, listing phenomena by proper terms in the fic, a specific bone being where he lays his head by habit, etc). That last marble is entirely because I had to take anatomy for three years as part of my animation program and then fell down way too many medical rabbit holes and decided to make it everyone else’s problem. I kinda like the flavour of it though! I might use a bit of it in later things too, like the vampire fic or Tattoo, but we’ll see.

I think the vampire fic would be a good fit, it’s gonna be whack because I never write anything set in the current canon or later because I don’t know what I want to do with the Rats or Decay of Angels or the Hunting Dogs or any of the other factions we have running around now. (Probably I’ll not deal with it at all and just do a little one room, two man play for the vampire thing, look guys I have no idea how they’re going to resolve this current arc and I’m very stressed that the British are going to be even worse somehow and bigger stakes and as much as I think Agatha’s design is nice I’m SCARED)

Anyway. I’m really happy with my gen fic even if it took me multiple years to remember to actually write it (thanks Savvy for listening to me ramble in 2019 —I hope you see this because I can’t recall if you have a new account and your old one is deactivated, and thanks @feralrookie because I definitely rambles at you about it too and I appreciate you a lot)

[retrievablememories]

ok it makes me feel better that you read the book and were still confused lol. I've read the og trilogy and loved the original movies - even rewatched them in preparation for this sequel! but I found TBOSAS to be underwhelming and a bit unfocused...like I couldn't tell what exactly the theme was, and then that exact same forest scene left me HELLA confused. the tumblr discourse was so positive I just assumed it would have hit better had I read the book and been able to read curio's thoughts. 🤷🏾‍♀️

all I understand is that corio was confused af by lucy's disappearance, and honestly so was I. but his confusion consumed him and made him a crazy evil ass man who dabbled in poison for the rest of his life, turned his own cousin into a tiger-face and obsessed over some girl named katniss whereas I have just remained confused since leaving the theater 💀

i've read and watched all the previous ones too, but i didn't have time to do so to prep for this movie 😩. the movie felt rushed and overly condensed to me, which is kinda inevitable with these book-to-movie films. i feel like having access to corio's thoughts is necessary to understanding his behavior more fully cuz he really is OFF the damn chain. but that can't be conveyed as well in the movie.

i think i got fucked up because i read a supposed ""spoiler"" that lucy gray was manipulating him the whole time, not really in love with him, and i read the book through that perspective. i thought she was going back to go tell that he'd shot the mayor's daughter cuz her whole intention since meeting him was to take this capitol boy down. 💀

in reality...i think corio became paranoid that she'd rat him out even though that was never her intention. because she'd figured out he got sejanus killed (his line about killing 3 people) and she felt betrayed by that/knew he was dangerous -- although it wouldn't make sense to tell, because she was also at the murder scene and would be punished?

the guns were the only things left to implicate him, and he was gonna destroy them, but then that would leave her cuz she knew what happened -- and i think she left the cabin and didn't return cuz she was afraid he'd kill her so there'd be nobody left to tell? i think she realized he was capable of killing her when she figured out the circumstances of sejanus's hanging -- because if he could do that to his ""best friend,"" well...

i just assume that she died from her injuries out there, because i'm certain that he *did* manage to shoot her -- and in the book, that forest is 2-3 hours away from the covey's house in district 12. a long way to walk while bleeding. who knows, though.

i am literally trying to figure this all out as i'm writing it and re-looking at the book, so IDK if this makes any sense, lmao.

[sunfoxfic]

One thing I was thinking about earlier is how Ladynoir's S4 relationship might be adversely impacted if Chat knew that Ladybug revealed her identity to someone. But not the in way people are expecting.

Yes, I do think Adrien would be hurt because Ladybug didn't trust him. But I don't think he would consciously understand that hurt; not immediately, anyway, and even if he did understand it, there's a good chance he would internalize that rather than getting angry at her, putting it on himself for not being trustworthy.

But I'm not gonna do that analysis, because I'm hardly the first person to do it.

I was thinking about it more in terms of Gang of Secrets. Because Chat clearly saw in GoS that Ladybug was struggling, but without being told that she told someone her identity, he's probably still under the impression to some extent that she's struggling with her real life a whole lot. (Which she is, to be frank, and the identity reveal only mitigated that, delayed it; few of Marinette's problems have been solved and they're likely to bubble up again, but she doesn't realize any of that. From her perspective, the conclusion to GoS did solve a lot of her problems.)

So from Chat's perspective, he knows Ladybug's struggling, and he even seems to have an inkling of why that is. He commented on how he knows "what heartbreak sounds and feels like." So he knows that she's struggling with some sort of heartbreak and that it's putting stress on her job as Ladybug.

And unless we missed something in episode 5 (possible, for the record) he does not think that this was ever resolved.

So yes, finding out that Ladybug shared her identity with him may put stress on their relationship in that he feels less trustworthy, but I'm wondering if maybe it will make him feel less necessary in general. And frankly, we got more indication in Wishmaker that Adrien needs to feel needed by the people he loves than we've gotten all season that he needs to feel trusted. (Luka is the one who needs to feel trusted, which is kinda making me want to write an analysis on why Wishmaker would be such a big deal for him and why he would have made that decision at the end, but I digress.)

If Adrien finds out that Ladybug doesn't need him for emotional support, how will that impact his self image?

If anything, I think this question is putting Ladynoir at greater risk of a fallout if he finds out about someone knowing Ladybug's identity than asking if he'll feel angry at the knowledge. Of course, like I said at the beginning, he would likely feel hurt that she doesn't trust him, but I honestly don't think he'd acknowledge that, much like he didn't acknowledge the fact that Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities is a signal that Ladybug doesn't trust him. However, his need to be needed has directly led him to action in the past (Lies, Desperada, Furious Fu) and finding out that she doesn't need him may send him into action once again.

[oatmilkismylife]

A Chance Encounter | Shigaraki x Reader

author’s note(s):  Hey guys!! This is my first fic ever so please be nice, I would love to hear your feedback and constructive criticism! Anything helps!! I literally haven’t taken an English class in like three and a half years (STEM majors be like :P) but I wanted to give this a go!  

As of right now, I’m not taking writing requests per se- but if you want to send in ideas, I will gladly consider them and write them if I feel inspired so feel free!!

summary: Reader runs into Shigaraki after he confronts Deku in the mall and accidentally spills coffee on him. (kinda in shigarakis perspective sometimes idk I’m not good at thisss) 

words: 743 

warnings: None / brief mention of decay

“Hey, I’m going to throw out my coffee, I’ll meet you guys in pacsun!” you call out to your friends, gesturing to the trash across the mall hallway. They gave you a quick nod, too wrapped up in a debate about which fast food chain has the best chicken nuggets to even pay much attention as they wandered into the clothing store. 

You smiled to yourself, shaking your head at how silly that was but nevertheless absolutely necessary to figure out. Even on your small trek to the garbage can you were confronted by one of those kiosk associates offering to straighten your hair (which you politely declined) and almost tripped over a hyper little kid riding one of those little motorized animals- completely unsupervised to make matters worse. 

You whispered, “ugh brat.” And before you could even recover you were assaulted by yet another figure, this time- fully crashing into you because you hadn’t looked up from the other distraction moments ago. 

You raise your gaze to meet his enraged crimson eyes when you realize the coffee you were going to throw out, is now all over this guys black tattered hoodie. You can’t help but think how eerily beautiful he looks with white shaggy hair falling out of his hood. From the way he’s looking at you, you swear he could pierce bullet holes through you but you immediately apologize, “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry I didn’t see you there, I was just tripped by this kid, I-”

He cuts you off angrily grabbing your wrist, one finger lightly hovering above the others. Fully prepared to kill you, he looks into your eyes and he’s .. surprised. You’ve seen his face because he wasn’t wearing Father in public, and yet you didn’t recoil. You weren’t looking at him with the disgust and hate that most heroes and villains do, but with a concerned, almost warm look. A look not of pity or anger, but of kindness and innocent intrigue that he’s never experienced before. 

 “Um, can you let go of my arm?” You asked. “Listen if you’re angry about your clothes, I’d be happy to get you some new ones- my friends just went to the store over there.” You say to him with genuine kindness in your voice. 

You were actually worried about him? He saw that your clothes had been ruined too and yet you extend him- a stranger, an invitation to buy new clothes. He can’t help but let his curiosity run wild about you. After what feels like hours that he was standing there staring at, shocked and holding your wrist, he finally let go.

You missed the warmth you didn’t even realize was there until his hand left tingles up your arm when he pulled away. Shigaraki felt it too, and for some odd reason he wanted to grab you back, take you with him. Instead all he said was, “Whatever, I don’t have time for this.” He didn’t like this new feeling, or did he? You would just make him weak he thought, he didn’t have time for distractions, especially when he had such big plans.

He shrugged you off and started to walk away and every bone in your body, every instinct you had, was screaming to let him go. Just let him walk away and forget it. 

“Wait, please I insist!” You said lightly touching his shoulder to get his attention back. He froze underneath your touch, unsure of how to react. Why hadn’t you just let him go? It took all of his self control to not decay you at first and then to bring himself to leave. He had just decided to go and you had to make him question it. He felt his own mind telling him to focus on the league, to focus on anything else yet his feet remained planted on the ground, his eyes looking back up to you.

“At least let me buy you a coffee or something, I mean I know you didn’t have one but I just feel bad, you seem upset and now I owe you one for the hoodie.” You smiled staring at the floor.

That smile. He just couldn’t brush the feeling that it gave him, deep down. He wasn’t even admitting it to himself in the moment and he wasn’t quite sure why his lips started moving before his brain, “Fine, if you’re buying.”

feel free to reblog if you like this!! It would help me out a lot <3

Part 2

[slashersgostabbystabstab]

Life in the Shadows (Michael Myers x Reader)

I know I never really got back into writing because I never really got back the motivation after certain things happened. But hey, I started this fic who knows when ago and actually got the motivation to finish it. Hopefully it’s good, I kinda just skimmed thorugh it because I have a hard time reading my own writings and like I said, a good portion of this was written a good while ago and the rest is what I wrote recently. Anyways, have some Michael Myers

Plot: Michael Myers has his eye set on a person he met during his time at Smith’s Grove. Takes place after the second Halloween movie, with a fewe things changed to fit the narrative.

Word Count: 4,866

Warnings: Not much really, mentions of n*dity but nothing explicit. The usual stalking from Michael, mentions of killing obviously. Loomis being Loomis.

The face of Halloween was now nothing more than a white veneer, a haunting sight to any that lay eyes upon it.

Fifteen years ago, not very many felt the terror they started to feel just a week ago. Fifteen years ago, it was nothing but a young boy and his deceased sister. Fifteen years ago, nobody would have expected such a Halloween.

“Thirteen murders in two days. On Halloween night, twenty-one year old Michael Myers escaped from Smiths Grove Sanitarium before stealing from a local hardware store in quiet Haddonfield.”

Michael Myers, that was the name that escaped so many fifteen years ago but ceased soon after when nobody no longer cared.

“At just six years old Michael Myers murdered his elder sister Judith Myers in cold blood, his lust for blood growing the following fifteen years. This past Halloween, only a single of the escapee’s victims survived the attack. Seventeen year old Laurie Strode remains in Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, nearly recovered from the physical and emotional trauma the so-called ‘Boogeyman’ inflicted on her.”

And even this time, their fear grew into a void once a secret was revealed to the public. Nobody feared the Boogeyman; what was there to worry about when they were not who he was after?

“After having survived the home invasion, Strode had to endure yet another attack from the masked fiend who followed her to the hospital the same night. Whilst there, Myers murdered nine people in the hospital, adding on to the previous four. In the end, Strode survived the massacre when Myers’ psychologist arrived to shoot him down and burn him in the hospital’s oxygen room.”

Word spread around. Word that there was another member in the Myers’ family, that only she was the one the murderer was after.

“But in the end, no charred body was recovered.”

Little had the people known, the Shape had his eye on more than one.

“Only a week has gone by but Haddonfield still asks, what could have happened to this malicious hunter?”

Void-like eyes stared through the open window, standing in place with hands laying at each side. Heavy breathing was heard behind the mask, only coming near would allow people to hear such breaths.

Eyes cared not for those that sat on the other side of the glass, sitting on their  couch ever so…vulnerable.

Oblivious.

Helpless.

Naive.

The shape stood in place, eyes staring into the television set in front of them. On it, the picture of a young blonde, the picture taken after the second attack.

Head soon turned before its body followed, calmly striding down a self-made path through the backyard of these unknowing residents who never realized there was someone watching their  every move for more than a few minutes.

The streets of Orange Grove Avenue was nothing but an empty street, nobody in sight unless it was very necessary to go out. Even without the lack of fear, most preferred that their  children would remain at home. Adults thought the same for themselves, thoughts plagued with the idea of accidentally coming across a bloody sight that would end with them as a murdered witness.

Through hedges and trees strolled the figure, never noticed by those who peeked through their closed curtains. The voids of his mask stared straight ahead, eventually looking to the side when their  head finally turned.

From behind a tree, the shape stalked the source from whence a sound was heard.

A door opened to reveal another shape, one whose hand tightly clutched onto a worn out satchel before she gently set it on the ground. Hand now reached into the pocket of her  jacket, making sure that nothing was forgotten back inside her  home, nodding in satisfaction once she pulled out her keys.

The shape stood in the distance, keeping a calm yet very attentive stance as he concealed himself with a tree across the street from the home he watched. He saw the person fumble a bit with her  pocket, shaking soon ceasing before she lifted her head ever so slowly.

Eyes glanced to the left and then the right, head now being the one to move while an uneasy feeling overcame her. A deep feeling of trepidation soon hit when her  eyes landed on the tree standing in the distance, half of a man’s body revealed with a face so pale it looked unreal in her  perspective.

Once again, a shock came when she felt a vibration and heard a jingle, making her look down at her  jacket where her  phone rang.

She pulled out the phone before answering it, placing it against her  ear while looking back up at the tree. Nothing nor anybody stood there, leaving that uneasy feeling while she now shut and locked the door to then make her  way to her  car.

Before actually starting it, she turned to look behind, seeing nothing again. So, with her  phone on its holder, she started the car and drove away, never realizing that darkened eyes were watching from a distance.

_____________

In an isolated property where only light hit stood the shape, behind a fence that no longer proved to serve its purpose. Through it he watched an empty field with nothing but tables for those cursed inside to sit whenever breaks were given. Beyond this empty space was the large building that could have never contained him.

He walked alongside the fence, turning to the right when he reached the building’s other perimeter. From his location, he saw her again.

This time, the person wore a badge on her  jacket as she got out of her car. With her satchel once again in her  hand, she locked the car before making her way through the parking lot until reaching the sidewalk that would lead her to the front entrance of the building. Before continuing, however, she paused her   walking to look at the sign reading a damaged “Smith’s Grove   Sanitarium”. With a shake of her  head, she followed the path before finally walking into the building.

Behind some bushes, the shape watched it all until the person was no more behind darkened glass. He stood there, breaths now soft as she allowed the sound of his heart pumping hard with adrenaline. It was always said that the shape felt nothing, he was but a vessel containing evil alone. But somehow, there was something in him that not even the “best” of psychologists could discover in such a being.

“Looking into those eyes alone is dangerous enough.”

“Why is that?”

“They are the devil’s eyes. There is nothing but evil behind them.”

Such words were enough to make one turn, though the sound of voices coming from outside were also sufficient.

In a room deep inside the corridors of Smith’s Grove was a bed. To the surprise of many it proved to be one of the tidiest beds ever; sheets never undone save for a few wrinkles every now and then.

On the bed sat the patient not many dared near, the story of what he did years back sending chills down the staff’s spines.

“D…devil’s eyes? Dr. Loomis, you can’t be serious. I’ve heard all kinds of things from you, but this is new.”

From the bed, the patient listened ever so attentively, yet he did so without a care in the world. Eyes stared into the nothingness of the white wall before him while his body remained still and hunched over.

The jingling of keys sounded outside of the room, the sound loud enough to echo through the ever so silent hallways of the sanitarium. Soon enough the creaking of the room’s door followed; in the doorway stood two figures who silently peered inside.

One remained on the spot while the other immediately strode in without a care, ignoring the slight worry he had inside. A worry not about him necessarily, but more like the one he had for others such as the person who had accompanied him, and the ones who ran the sanitarium without any concern.

“Michael.” The man now stood at the foot of the bed, staring at the patient sitting on the bed.

The patient never bothered to look any other way, eyes fixated on the wall . Almost as if he wasn’t seeing it…instead, looking past it.

Even then, the man knew that he was aware of his guests.

“Maybe you should leave.”

“Excuse me?” the doctor turned to the doorway, still keeping his distance from the patient who, in the slightest and unnoticable bit, turned his head to the side.

“I’m just saying, I’ve seen that Michael doesn’t exactly…” the other person took a step inside, glancing over at the patient. “React when you’re around.”

“I am the only one in this sanitarium who can approach Michael without being injured.” Loomis now stepped towards her, once again not realizing that the patient’s head had turned even more. “I am his doctor and you are nothing but a temporary transfer.”

“I know-”

“You are in no place to be telling me what to do with Myers.” Loomis sternly spoke, then reaching a hand out to the other individual who turned away with a sigh. “Where are the others?”

“They’re on their   way.” she spoke as she handed a clipboard over to the psychiatrist that immediately looked over the papers in hand.

“Once they’re here, you may excuse yourself.”

“What?”

“Did I stutter?” Loomis’  frown deepened.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“Is that so?”

“My purpose is to examine Michael because your incompetent ass can’t do so.”

Now this had noticeably riled up Loomis who had unconsciously turned his back on his patient, the latter still ever so slightly paying attention to the conversation.

“I know you don’t like working with me Loomis, I learned that along the way. I point out the reality while you continue to insist on foolish tales only a man like you can spin.” the person spat at the elderly man who could not believe the way he was being spoken to. “My tasks threaten your job, even if I only do the medical work. A man like you deserves and could land a spot in an institution such as this one with your lunatic rambles. So either step down and let me do my job, or I’ll have a chat of my own with the administration.”

Loomis could only eye this…unfortunate individual. Examining the as if he were examining a patient of his, looking for any flaws he could spur into a tale of demons and evil. To him, this temporary associate was no more than a burden in between him and Michael. Him and the Devil himself, waiting to unleash hell.

He began making his way out of the room, but not before he glanced back at Michael who had clearly been staring at the white of his room’s walls this entire time. Not a single care or thought in the world.

“I’ll have you packing your things before you even know it.” he promised while slamming the clipboard onto the nurse’s chest, lips near her  ear as she stepped away from him, realizing that the other staff had come by. For the first time since Michael had been incarcerated, Loomis didn’t bother to remain in the room.

“Alright Mikey,” one of the two guards that arrived spoke out. “You know how this goes.”

The apparent leader of the pair had handcuffs ready, these being placed on Michael’s wrists as he made it seem like he still stared at the wall.

Michael ignored every word and action that came from the guards, eyes instead focused on the staff member who was still in the room. Brown locks concealed his dark gaze, eyes following her  fingers that reached into the pocket of her  uniform trousers. From it, a pen was pulled out.

Pen and paper now connected as the nurse wrote notes, or perhaps random scribbles due to her  not being much to report at the moment.

It was a rather funny pen. A fountain pen is what it was. Somewhat girthy, made out of cheap plastic. Pink.

One of the only pieces of color Michael ever really saw inside the sanatorium, the only other times being when Loomis conducted certain examinations or when Michael was fed.

Black ink spilled from the pen and onto the paper, nothing more than a tool to further his years in this building. Black ink that came from this funny little pen, providing the only tint of life in the darkness of these white walls that caged Michael.

Black ink…spilling…merging with the warm crimson from inside the skin. It was almost lovely, the thought of a brightly colored tool, impaling the soft skin of this particular caretaker.

“You ready, doc?”

“It’s nurse.” Michael’s staring was interrupted as he felt hands grab onto his arms, hoisting him up from the bed before he nearly came face to face with his nurse. “And yes, we can take him now. Loomis should be waiting for us, if he hasn’t decided to throw a fit in his office.”

“You and the old guy don’t care much for each other, huh?” a guard spoke up as she followed behind the nurse, Michael sandwiched between the men who led him through the halls.

“I don’t care for any so-called psychologist who runs his mouth like a madman. I don’t think he’s qualified to be a psychologist.”

“Uh huh.” one of the guards replied, the words not having gone through his head properly, as he was another one of the many members who worked without giving a damn about the environment they surrounded themselves in.

“Loomis is a bitch, to put it simple.” the nurse rolled her  eyes, hearing the jingling of keys that came from the guards as well as the cuffs that contained Michael. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing, can’t properly care for a patient. I don’t know how he even takes care of himself.”

No more words came from any of the staff as her and Michael’s footsteps echoed through the empty hallways she walked through. Were it not for the continuous jingling, one could have even come to hear Michael’s breaths.

“What now?”

“Michael takes a seat, and we wait for Loomis. You two can leave once he’s here, unless he instructs otherwise.” the nurse scanned the empty room where only a metallic table and two chairs sat in the middle. Behind one of the chairs was a large mirror, one that obviously served for watching whatever interaction occurred inside. It only showed how not-so credible Loomis’ objections were.

“Actually,” a new voice sounded, making everyone but Michael look to the open door, for another nurse had come by.  “I will be staying in your place for a moment. You’re needed elsewhere.”

“Where, exactly? I can’t leave Michael alone with a nurse he’s not used to seeing.”

“I doubt he’ll care much about the change.” this other nurse stated as she made her way into the room, reaching out to grab the clipboard. “The higher ups just want to have a quick conversation.”

“It’s because of Loomis, isn’t it? That bastard.”

“Just deal with it quickly, I have other patients that actually need attending.”

“Alright, just…”

Michael had been seated in the chair opposite from the mirror on the wall, cuffed hands forcibly placed on the table in front of him as his head remained lowered.

“Just treat him right. Please.”

“Sure thing.” the nurse uttered, watching the other walk out of the room.

“What, is someone catching feelings for little ol’ Mikey?” one of the guards snickered once she was out of sight, the two guards chuckling among themselves while the remaining nurse rolled her eyes.

“Hope not, could send her back to the hospital she came from. Even then, dunno what anyone would see in a crazy like Myers.”

And all the while the staff paid no mind to the patient, Michael had actually turned his head.

Eyes looked to the empty and open doorway, almost as if waiting for his nurse to return.

With eyes fixated on the building, the shape now watched as the main doors opened once more. From the doors came the nurse, not having spent much time inside. If she had spent this little in the building on a night she were meant to work, something had changed.

He watched from a distance, taking notice of the lack of Smith’s Grove badge. He didn’t have to eavesdrop on any conversation to know what had gone on.

There was no intention of hiding himself this time, but he also didn’t care if his presence was made known. All that mattered was her, watching every move as she trudged down the sidewalk with her  satchel tightly grasped into.

Despite the distance between the two, it was almost as if this nurse- former nurse could feel him breathing right behind her  neck.

She ceased her walking, nails now digging into her  bag as she scanned her  surroundings, feeling eyes on her…

Beyond the yards of Smith’s Grove Sanitarium, beyond the fence surrounding the perimeter, her  eyes met with the darkest eyes, ever so slightly shaded from the light. Or at least, that was what her  eyes saw, somehow being able to make out…

“The Devil’s Eyes.” he read her  lips murmur, spoken in complete disbelief.

He remained in place, body as stiff as ever as he only…examined, just like she did to him many times.

Was it a figment of her  imagination? Was Michael Myers, the now so-called Boogeyman, really just…watching?

Whatever the answer, he saw her hurriedly threading to the parking lot, immediately finding her  vehicle which she hopped into after struggling to find her  keys. Once inside, she wasted no more time, her  next destination being home.

_____________

She wasn’t up to very much. She was merely…sitting.

Eating.

Thinking.

Thinking more than him no doubt, especially as he stood by the window that led into the brightly lit kitchen. Eyes stared into the glass, watching the individual who did nothing but sit with a slice of bread in hand. In the other, a rather large kitchen knife, the first one that she had pulled out from her  knife block.

She was clearly unbothered by things, but there was still a sort of affliction present on her  features.

He watched her bite into the piece of bread she had cut for herself, ever so slowly chewing the bit. her  lips, moisturized with a lick of her   lips that rid of all the tiny crumbs that even he was able to perceive from the distance he stood at.

He never blinked, merely watched with an intensity that brought a chill down her  spine.

Her eyes widened at the strange feeling of being watched, whipping her   head around as she searched for a possible answer. But just like every other time, there was nothing or nobody that could have been keeping an eye on her.

“I’m going insane…” she mumbled to herself, setting down her  piece of bread before pushing her  seat out to stand and approach the kitchen sink. In her  hand was the knife, this being washed up immediately, ever so carefully.

It gleamed under the kitchen’s light, almost making a sound as if it were a sword drawn from its scabbard.

“This was all it took.”

A kitchen knife was all it took to take the many lives of many innocents. A kitchen knife that glinted under almost anything. A kitchen knife that reflected dark pools of that made one stare into oblivion.

Once again, she spun around, this time in a panic. Through the knife she had seen the white veneer, staring right back at her with such vehemence. But alas, just like every time, nothing stood at the window, it was clearly only a figment of her  imagination. Nothing but an apparition.

“I’ve heard wondrous things about you.”

“Oh, I doubt that. I’m just like any other nurse. I’m sure anyone else could do this job.”

“You’re too humble. I’ve heard about your handling of Billy and, it’s impressed me and other nurses.”

Smith’s Grove Sanitarium, you weren’t sure why an institution such as this one specifically requested someone with your expertise. Someone apparently “perfectly skilled” as a nurse, whatever that meant. It was one of the staff members who had desired a nurse such as yourself, a nurse who would be personally assigned to Michael Audrey Myers.

“And…what is so, special, about this patient?”

“If I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure.” your new but temporary supervisor, Dr. Wynn,  admitted as he walked you down the corridors of the sanitarium. “Myers’ primary psychologist, Dr. Samuel Loomis, is particularly…wary.”

“Of his own patient? I mean, I can understand but, aren’t patients like Michael restrained?”

“That’s not it. Samuel apparently sees something in Michael. Believes there is no redeeming, that Michael is only…waiting.”

“For…?”

“I don’t know, Samuel’s lectures tend to disturb me and some of the other staff at times. We don’t always pay much attention to his rants.” the man gave a shrug, turning on his heel as he and you made it to a door that was marked with a sign reading “M. MYERS”. “We worry that because of this apprehension, that he doesn’t properly care for Michael. We can’t exactly have a patient pass due to lack of care.”

“Of course.”

“You see,” he held his breath for a moment, soon enough releasing it. “Samuel doesn’t view Michael as a human being. Has made many suggestions already, but we don’t see Michael posing as the threat he believes he is.”

You nodded at these words, having seen similar stories as you grew up.

“Anyways, I’d formally like to introduce you to Michael.”

The white door disappeared from your view after being unlocked and opened, revealing a young male who was merely…sitting.

“Michael, I’d like you to meet your new, personal nurse…”

Words became nothing as your eyes landed on this man who sat at the edge of his bed, back curved as he leaned and looked forwards. Thick, chocolate curls hid the eyes that peered at the empty wall, almost as if they examined every inch of paint.

Hands were placed on his knees as the tips of his fingers dug into the cloth of his ivory pants. He seemed so tense, yet so calm somehow. There was no change in his staring as he never lifted his gaze, only listening to the words that spewed from the staff’s lips.

“Every day from now on, you will be seeing her. She is here for your every need.”

You snapped back to your senses after feeling a hand clasp onto your shoulder, making you turn to Dr. Wynn who gave you a comforting smile.

“Right,” you offered a minimal smile before turning back to Michael who had still not moved. Not a single bit. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Michael. I look forward to helping you as best as I can.”

“I’ll make sure to have you introduced to Samuel after I chat with you in my office.”

“Sounds good.” you slightly nodded, giving Michael one last look before finally stepping out of the room. “See you soon.”

Dr. Wynn followed suit, closing the door the moment he had stepped out as well. Had he taken even the quickest peek into the miniature window that was on the door, he would have noticed the glance Michael had given you.

Nobody ever noticed these small things. Not even you.

Coming back to reality, she shook her head just a bit. Perhaps it was the sleep that was getting to her.

Putting out of mind the slight scare she had just experienced, she turned her attention back to the empty kitchen sink. There were no more dishes, all wet and clean on the drying rack. All but…the kitchen knife.

Had she misplaced it? No, how could she have so easily lost a knife while lost in her own thoughts?

“Weird,” she spoke to herself, now realizing that the large knife lay at the end of the counter. “I don’t remember leaving it there.”

All the doors and windows were locked, she made sure to check every single thing more than once if there really was a danger lurking around. Perhaps she did leave the knife at the end of the counter, perhaps it was during her slight moment of remembering.

He saw her shake her head, putting aside her thoughts and worries after taking the knife and placing it inside its appropriate spot. Soon after, she removed her top and made her way out of the kitchen, the shape following suit as best as he could-

-inside the home.

After the top was removed, her jeans were next once she was in the bathroom of her house.

A heat formed in the room as she turned the knob of her shower, warm water raining over the empty floor of the bathtub. The sound of the water hitting the floor sufficed in hiding his footsteps, his deep breathing.

He easily went unnoticed, dark eyes fixated on the woman as she removed the rest of her clothing.  Eyes admired every curve of her now bare body, taking notes of every bit and piece of skin. So soft. So warm. So…exposed and unguarded.

There was nothing more than glass doors that divided him and her; a pair of doors being the only thing standing between him and his prey. His head became tilted at the sound of her voice, a song from another time escaping her lips as she sang to herself, never realizing that she had an uninvited audience.

Her body in full view through the glass, only slightly distorted by the glass’ design.

His fists clenched as he was filled with an impulse, an unwavering ardor as he studied her every move.

She ran her hands over her body, almost as if caressing herself, massaging her own knots out. Hands dragged themselves over her thighs, fingers digging into them as she squeezed to provide comfort and relief. The warm, hot water almost provided a feeling of…safety.

A safety that could be interrupted at any moment by anything.

Her fingers were entangled in her locks of hair, soap threatening to fall into her eyes that she immediately shut.

It was almost as if he sensed this, stepping towards the glass doors as his heavy breaths created a foggy effect, breathing almost becoming desperate at the proximity between the two figures. His own clothed skin, so near her nude form; almost touching. Sultry flesh that he had all to himself. Flesh who’s scent he inhaled deeply, registering the smell into his system.

It was just the two of them, and that was how he desired it.

The shower knob was soon turned as the water turned off, the only sound in the entire house being the droplets from her hair and chin dripping onto the wet flooring. Once she wiped the remaining water from her face, she properly opened her eyes to look into the emptiness of her bathroom. The scathing water had fogged up all the glass inside the bathroom, hiding the fading imprint of large hands that had been placed on the glass doors.

_____________

Hours had gone by as he remained inside the house, haunting the halls like a phantom with no trace. It was almost ridiculous, foolish even, that the man was not once noticed.

Not even as he stood at her bedside.

A slumber befell the woman not too long after she lay in bed. Once changed into a set of comfortable nightwear, she promptly brought her exhausted form into bed. In front of her was a television, still powered on after hours of watching the leftover Halloween specials.

Her body was curled up against her pillow, eyes softly shut as her chest moved with every breath.

The vulnerability present was ever so tantalizing.

Large, strong hands were slowly lifted, inching closer and closer to the woman’s unsuspecting figure. His hands moved on impulse, wanting to latch onto her neck. Wanting to squeeze her throat awake. Wanting to have her eyes shoot open as she reacted too late. Wanting to have the life drained out of her body with every squeeze.

How quick and easy it would have been to overpower her. Suffocate her. Slice her. Thrust her own gleaming blade into her chest to spill the crimson liquid he had come to see so often.

“Michael…”

His breathing deepened even more at the sound of his name, lips breathing out the name of the Devil himself without realizing the consequence. Out of instinct, almost, one of his large hands brought itself onto her exposed leg, stroking the skin with an unexpected gentleness.

Immediately removing his hand, his head gave one final tilt before he took his time spinning around. His eyes landed on the television set that only presented its viewers with nothing but static.

Something had told him it was best to switch it off before officially making his way out.