#and that its easier to start new ideas than pick up old ones <-story of my life

[domoz]

...okay this is even less drabbleish probably but now I'm imagining the like. Scenario with Hashirama and Tobirama miscommunicating and both not trusting each other (specifically re: Butsuma needs to die) and then dropping Mito in the middle of THAT mess. Just, you know, because it wasn't complicated enough yet

Fic Ideas That Haunt Me!!!!

Mito had never quite managed to get herself to believe in rumors of Hashirama's ruthlessness. Not until, on the first night she spent visiting Senju Lands, he caught her in private. Sat her down, clasped her hand, told her he understood if she thought differently of him, after this…

Her family hadn't quite been convinced of the need to marry her to Hashirama, though to not marry someone would have meant to all but break the alliance they'd had with the Senju for as long as both clans had existed.

Mito had argued it should be herself, in the end, and not for truly political reasons.

She liked Hashirama, liked his grand dreams, and even if they seemed a little too far-fetched to come true, he'd certainly make interesting things happen by trying. Her family liked him too. It was his father that had them all concerned, and, well…

Patricide was no small thing, but Hashirama had said, guilty and tearful, that his father hurt people. Broke people. That he wouldn't accept peace if it was handed to him on a silver platter, and the longer he stayed in power the harder it would be for Hashirama to achieve it.

Mito had promised not only to keep his secret, but to support him, where she could. There wasn't much she could do, not when they weren’t married yet, but she kept an eye out, an ear open, and a few seals hidden in certain spots to help those first two thing along.

That was how she noticed Tobirama -- the stoic younger brother, the one who she'd been introduced to but not actually properly met, which was a shame because she'd heard he was a dab hand at seal work and hardly anyone else seemed interested in it, around here -- was acting just suspiciously enough that she could tell he was up to something.

She'd just assumed he was in on it. It was the most obvious answer to why she overheard him. He was cautious about it, clever; what he was doing only apparent to her because she was an outsider not privy to whatever assumptions Tobirama was using to get away with with saying what he was saying. He was undermining his father's leadership. Smoothing along the inevitable transfer of power.

It wasn't until later that she realized otherwise. She'd thought meals were strained because they were shared with Butsuma, but one evening the Senju clan head was called away for work. Even with him gone, Tobirama remained withdrawn, and Hashirama's smiles remained tense and forced.

"I thought…" Mito puzzled out slowly, after the meal, and Hashirama had oh-so improperly found another private moment with her, "That your brother was after him, too?"

"If he is, he's never told me." Hashirama said, all sad and bitter and anxious.

Well, Mito would just have to see what was going on with that.

[shush-itsasecret]

"I don't know why I'm here"

I saw a YouTube comment that mentioned something about writing a fanfiction where BEAST Odasaku visits Dazai's grave and yup I ain't giving any spoilers just read!! I started working on its art first and then some ideas about the fanfic popped up in my head so here it is!!

Only read after you've already read both sides of "The day I picked up Dazai" and BEAST for complete understanding.

Kindly-

Don't repost without giving credit

Tag me and credit if you draw the idea

No Odazai shipping in this post. I only view them as besto friendo

4. ENJOYY!!

--

The sky is dark. Maybe it will rain today. The slow, cold breeze is blowing, taking with it the gloomy heat of Yokohama. I see some children making paper boats on my way. They were probably planning to play with them in the streets after it rains. Origami. That's what it's called. An old Japanese art of making different animals and objects by the mere act of folding paper. I think I remember Sakura mentioning that she was learning to make origami turtles. I'll have to ask her about it later.

As I entered the cemetery, the earth felt soft and damp under my feet. The familiar smell of wet soil hits my nostrils. Wet soil always smells nice, like reminiscences of the beloved past. But right here at this moment, it felt like the finishing touch of the scenery. It smelt like how a freshly painted portrait smells of paint. I make my way over to the other side of the vast graveyard.

My feet came to a halt in front of a certain melancholic gravestone. Gravestones aren't melancholic. They're just pieces of stone. But this one exerted a strange, eerie aura. The name written on it felt unreal too. Everything about this grave is different. Even the soil smelt differently. It smelt of loneliness and forced heartlessness. The image of his last meeting with me flashed vividly in my mind. The youngest port mafia boss, Osamu Dazai, now lay silent in his eternal rest. They say that death is the same for everyone, and it makes everyone equal regardless of what their life is like. But I doubt the same could be said about this man here. His last words echo in my ears.

"Goodbye, Odasaku"

Odasaku. The name felt strange yet familiar. He was the first who called me by that name, yet it felt startingly nostalgic. Like when you....nevermind. I can't think of a way to describe this feeling.

"I don't know why I'm here" The words coming out of my lips aligned perfectly with my thoughts, leaving no space for contradictions.

"I thought you'd like to be the first one to hear it" The wind blew whistles as if nodding in response. "Kunikida-san and Akutagawa are helping me with the editing. The story you're about to hear is still raw but it's completed nevertheless. I hope you like it" I slid down beside the gravestone. The atmosphere felt welcoming. It was the first time I was reading my story out loud. Maybe it will prove helpful, giving me insights and a new perspective on it. I fixed myself in a more comfortable position and leaned on the gravestone.

The words slipped out of my mouth easily, as if they had been waiting to be listened to by this person. As if from the moment this story came to me, it had waited patiently, solely to make Dazai it's first reader. Or well, listener in this case.

I think I'm forgetting a few parts. it's easier to remember the stories others have written than to recall one's own story. My lips moved easily, in perfect harmony with the whistles of the wind. An instrument. I realized that I was like an instrument at that moment, my words being my music. They decorated the air like stars on a dark, lonely night. Dark clouds roared, and the wind whispered back, creating a back-and-forth melody. Maybe I could spend a little more time here.

I don't know how long it's been now. I left my wristwatch at home for some unknown reason. A few hours is my guess, though I'm not sure. I look up at the sky. A few cold droplets hit my face.

"I'll get going now" I stand up, brushing the dirt off my clothes. The coat had gotten dirty with the mud but that doesn't concern me right now. Akutagawa's babysitting the younger ones today. I hope they don't sneak out and play in the rain. They'll catch a cold if they do.

"When are we meeting next?" I was genuinely startled. There was nobody around. I could have seen them with my Future vision ability if anyone had come. They say that on rare occasions, under specific conditions, the shrieking of wind can sound like a human's voice too. The only odd thing was that I recognized this voice too well.

"I'll come again. There's more to the story and I forgot some parts too." I said to no one in particular. The words left my mouth and evaporated in the air, becoming a part of the scenery. When I looked back at the grave, it felt less lonely now.

I take out a cigarette and the matchbox I always kept on me. 'Lupin', it reads. The breeze behind my back gently blew through the leaves and grass, waving goodbye like an old friend. I think I'll come here again. This place might not be so bad after all.

[starsfic]

Long Xiaojiao, Night Guard

Summary: After an argument with her parents, Xiaojiao decides to cut herself off. However, that means moving into a different place, and that's not feasible with her savings. So, Xiaojiao decides to get a job.

Hopefully, this American pizza joint will be nice.

AO3/Ko-Fi

-_-

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Neither can I,” Long Xiaojiao groaned, fisting a hand in her hair. For once, her phone wasn’t in her pocket. It was upstairs on Xiaotian’s bed, buzzing with so many missed calls and texts with one familiarity. They were all from her family.

Well, former family.

“What even happened?” Xiaotian asked, passing her a bowl of noodles, the smell deliciously fragrant and a balm on her nerves. “You told me a month ago that you guys were doing fine.”

Xiaojiao sighed, picking up the chopsticks. She was glad it was slow today. If Xiaotian wasn’t here, she was pretty sure she would do something stupid. “Well, I went over for breakfast, and we kinda started talking about my summer plans. Well, my dad asked if I was planning to go back to college any time soon and…” She knew that the fact that she had dropped out of college was a sore spot for her parents, but she had hated college. She had gotten all the qualifications to be a mechanic that moment she dropped out, but her parents hadn’t been impressed. “Things went downhill from there.”

“So bad that you decided that you have to move out?”

“I kinda have to,” Xiaojiao loved her swanky apartment, but she had to cut herself off in all ways. “It’s technically under my parents’ names, even if I pay rent. Plus, the landlord’s friends with my dad, which is why I had such low rent.” Thankfully, she had enough savings for the down payment and the first month’s rent for something smaller, a little more worn down, but decent, after some looking. (Did she really need that third monitor?) “Don’t worry about it, I have a few places in mind.”

“I could talk to Red,” Xiaotian offered, his smile bright. “You’re his best friend, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind-”

“Dude, Red’s already got issues dealing with Pigsy flipping his lid over you moving out,” She had not witnessed the announcement, only heard that Pigsy attempted to whack Red with the wok. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. My only concern is finding a job.” Streamer money alone couldn’t fill up her bank account.

"Oh!" Xiaotian said, smiling brightly. "That'll be easy for you!"

"Yeah!" She was Long Xiaojiao, mechanic qualified, smart, and popular. "How hard will it be?"

-_-

Fuck Qi Xiaotian.

Fuck him and getting all her hopes up.

Of course he had an easy time of it. The moment he was old enough, Pigsy hired him to help out around the noodle shop with great pay, the softie. She should've asked Pigsy; it would've been easier than having the honestly brutal amount of rejection emails pop up in her inbox.

Most places didn't exactly like the idea of people dropping out of college because they were bored. Most places saw her as wasting time waiting for a job position that Daddy and Mommy promised her. Others just weren't looking for anyone anymore and simply hadn't taken down the ads yet. At least those were nice enough to say sorry.

Xiaojiao was honestly prepared to beg Red or Pigsy for a job when another email popped in.

And this one was more than excited to welcome her.

Maybe a little too excited, when Xiaojiao stepped into Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

From what the owner had explained, they were in the process of moving in, and she could see that with all the boxes everywhere. But the place still looked incredibly worn down for all its newness. None showed that more than the four animatronics standing on the stage.

Long Xiaojiao had done some research, she wasn't that dumb. Apparently, Fazbear Entertainment had started in the United States, and had quickly developed a reputation. Now, they were moving to China, hoping to escape the ghost stories and accusations of murder. Said stories surrounded the four she eyed.

Freddy Fazbear, the bear himself, stood in the middle, holding a microphone. Bonnie the Bunny and Chica the Chicken stood on either side of him like bodyguards. Foxy the Pirate held his hook up as if in the middle of telling a grand tale. All of their eyes were closed and their heads slumped, like they had fallen asleep on their feet.

“But they’re probably just stories,” Xiaojiao sighed. “You guys look like you couldn’t hurt a fly!”

"Oh, hello!" Xiaojiao nearly jumped at the English interrupting her study, turning to reveal a pretty blonde woman hovering next to the stage. She blinked emerald eyes before awkwardly chuckling. "I'm...sorry, hello," she said in shaky Mandarin. "Do you speak English?"

"Yeah, I do," One of the things she was glad her parents had forced her to learn. "Although your Mandarin sounded pretty good."

The woman shook her head. "No, no, I'm still learning. This move was a sudden decision, so I needed to pick it up quickly." She held out a hand, and Xiaojiao shook it. Her grip felt weirdly weak. "I'm Vanessa Shelly, the owner of the restaurant."

"Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Long Xiaojiao, I'm here for the staff position?"

"Yeah, I figured," Vanessa chuckled, the awkwardness slowly easing out of the noise. "Let me give you a tour, and I can give you a laydown of the situation."

The tour wasn't that long. There was one big dining hall- the room Xiaojiao had entered- a slightly smaller arcade and prize room, two small rooms for private birthday parties, two halls that connected in the kitchen, Parts and Services/storage, and the guard office.

"The office is where you'll be spending the most of your first two weeks," Vanessa explained, allowing Xiaojiao to take in the space. It was small, with buttons next to both doorways. A small fan chugged away next to a tablet and computer, cooling down nothing. "My brother is still in Utah, handling business matters there, but once he gets here, he'll be handling the night guard business."

"Okay, that's good to know," She had worried about that part, not wanting to lose too much time with Xiaotian. Two weeks was manageable. But, those buttons looked weird. She nodded, but her mind was on the buttons. "What do these do-?"

"Wait, wait, WAIT-!" Xiaojiao pressed the button, and a door came crashing down. There was a thud outside, probably from Vanessa jumping back to avoid being cut in half. Xiaojiao blinked at the thick metal door before pushing the button. The door slid back up, revealing Vanessa. She was against the wall, her eyes wide.

"Sorry," Xiaojiao said, stepping forward and helping Vanessa from her lean against the wall. "Are you okay?" Her hands were callused and strangely cold, but her emerald eyes were warm.

Vanessa didn't answer for a moment, eyes locked on their hands. Finally, she pulled away, managing another awkward laugh as her fingers dug into her purple work shirt. "I'm fine. Don't worry. Sorry, I should have warned you about the doors."

"Yeah..." Now that she thought about it, those doors seemed more like something from a military base than a pizza place. "Why do you guys have bombproof doors?"

"They were something from the old place," Vanessa explained, stepping back into the office. Her destination turned out to be a worn yellow locker Xiaojiao hadn't noticed. She opened the door and reached inside. "My brother insisted on it, in case the animatronics..." She shut the door, revealing she held a work uniform. "Misbehave." Ah, right, ghost stories. "Anyway, here is your uniform!"

Xiaojiao took it. This at least looked new, with the buttons all shiny and a shiny new name tag sitting on top with her name. The keys were already on a keychain, hanging from the pocket. "Thanks."

"Now, how about I get the gang to say hello before you head out?" Vanessa was already pushing past, her shoulder gently bumping Xiaojiao. "We want you well rested for your shift tomorrow, right?"

Hello?

Xiaojiao followed Vanessa back to the main dining hall, finding her boss standing in front of the animatronics. She clapped her hands together. "Okay, guys, wake up. I got a new friend working with us. Foxy, I think you'll like her."

Those seemed to be the magic words. The first to lift their head was Bonnie, his magenta eyes focusing on Vanessa. Chica was next, the little cupcake on her plate giving a little yawn that Xiaojiao had to fight to not coo over, and then Foxy reared his head back, giving out a maniacal laugh.

And then Freddy... didn't move.

"Freddy?" Vanessa said, cocking her head. Those green eyes were concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Aye, lass, he's just a lil' tired from all the flying," Foxy said, sounding just like a pirate. "Can't say I blame him. Give me a ship any day!"

"Foxy," Chica said. "You know we couldn't have sailed over. Sailing takes too long, and Ness worries a lot." 'Ness''s face turned red, not disputing the claim.

Wow, this was really great AI. The banter and movements as Foxy and Chica argued back and forth, and Bonnie reached over to hold Freddy's shoulder was so life-like. Xiaojiao's fingers itched for her phone to record and stream. Hm, maybe…

"Anyway, this is Long Xiaojiao," Vanessa said, interrupting Bonnie saying something about the perfect cheese for pizza. She gestured to her, and Xiaojiao waved. "She'll be our night guard until Mikey gets here, and she'll be helping me repair and maintain you guys."

Oh, yeah! “I also know a guy,” Xiaojiao said, pulling up her phone. “Who does commissions. He made a logo for his dad’s noodle shop. Maybe he can do some stuff for your marketing?”

Vanessa’s smile went big. “Really?” Xiaojiao turned to reveal Pigsy’s logo and her eyes went wide. “Oh, that looks great.”

“Yeah! You have a pen?” At the request, a pen was pulled out. “Great! Here’s his number, his name is Qi Xiaotian…” She ignored the heat flaring up in her face as she held Vanessa’s name and scrawled Xiaotian’s number across her palm. “Anyway,” she said as she pulled away. “Give him a call. He’ll be more than happy to help.”

“Oh, thanks Xiaojiao!”

“No worries! See you tomorrow!” Xiaojiao headed out, glancing back. Vanessa was smiling at her palm. Chica was petting her cupcake as Foxy and Bonnie talked. And Freddy…

Freddy stared right at her.

-_-

Long Xiaojiao was eager for her first shift, especially after the day she had, but almost drove away when she came one hour before midnight.

In the light of day, the restaurant had just looked worn and tired. In the darkness of night, barely lit by the neon on the next street, it looked menacing. Vanessa had left the dining hall's light on for her, showcasing the four figures on stage. All were slumped over, looking asleep again.

Xiaojiao barely resisted a shiver as she parked her bike and walked up. The clink of the lock opening sounded like a gunshot, and, as she walked in, she swore a cold breeze slid down her back.

No. No. She was being ridiculous. She was Xiaojiao, the White Horse Dragon Girl (dragon family or no dragon family), former wielder of the Samadhi fire, and current wielder of the Long sword (dragon family or no dragon family). She wasn't gonna get spooked like this! 

"Hey guys!" she said for some semblance of noise as she locked the door behind her. "Good to see you guys again!" Nothing came back and Xiaojiao nodded. "Good talk."

Her duties involved checking all the doors to make sure they were locked. Xiaojiao did the lap of the building before settling into her office, which now housed a phone and an old poster. Now, all she had to do was keep an eye on the building and the animatronics until 6 AM.

Her phone beeped, and she pulled it out.

MonkieMAN: CONGRATS ON UR HOME!

Ah, right. Xiaojiao was now the proud owner of a small studio apartment. It was a little smaller than her old place, but she owned it. She still had to unpack and figure out what to keep- goodbye, third monitor- but she was home for now.

You: THANKS! How's moving into your place?

The phone rang. Xiaojiao nearly fell out of her chair at the noise and felt a flash of irritation. Was she really that off her game? She had dealt with scarier things. The phone rang again before something clicked and "Hello? Hello, hello?"

"Hello?"

"Uhh, I wanted to record a message for you... to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you." Oh, it was a voicemail Vanessa must've forgotten to delete. Xiaojiao shrugged and turned to her phone. "I’m... finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact, so... I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I’m here to tell you: there’s nothing to worry about."

"Uh huh, sure."

MonkieMAN: We're doing great! Red wants to remodel the kitchen…

"Uh, you’ll do fine! So... let’s just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let’s see. First, there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read. Eh, it’s kind of a legal thing, you know."

Huh, wonder why Vanessa didn't give it to her. Xiaojiao shrugged. "Probably out of date or something."

"Um, 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza: a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovery of damage or if death has occurred, a missing person’s report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached and the carpets have been replaced.' " Xiaojiao sat up at that, raising a brow. Hang on. "Blah, blah, blah... Now that might sound bad, I know."

"My dude. Seriously?"

"But there’s really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No! If I were forced to sing... those same stupid songs for 20 years, and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too." Speaking of the animatronics, Xiaojiao grabbed the tablet. It awakened easily, revealing a green 100% bar. On a guess, she pressed the only app. "So remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need to show them a little respect. Right? Okay. So just be aware:"

She froze.

"The characters do tend to wander a bit. Uhh, they’re left in some kind of "free-roaming mode" at night. Uhh... something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long." Oh, that was bullshit. Both the story and the fact that all four of them had turned their heads toward her camera, staring directly at her. "Uhh... they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the Bite of '87. Yeah... I-It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"

"Excuse me?!"

Now concerning your safety: the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uhh, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won’t recognise you as a person. Th-They’ll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on."

"Wait, hang on-"

"Now, since that’s against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, they’ll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit."

"What."

"Um, now that wouldn’t be so bad if the suits themselves weren’t filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So you can imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death.

"Just discomfort and death?!"

"Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh." Xiaojiao felt a whimper come up at the mental image. Not even the Lady Bone Demon had threatened something like that. And it only grew worse when she looked back down. "...Y-Yeah, they don’t tell you these things when you sign up... But hey! First day should be a breeze; I’ll chat with you tomorrow."

Bonnie was gone.

"Uhh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright. Goodnight." And the Phone Guy hung up, leaving Xiaojiao gawking at the space where Bonnie should’ve been.

Was this part of her job? Finding Bonnie? She was pretty sure the job description didn't include that and Vanessa hadn't mentioned anything like that. Plus, there was just something about the way that the animatronics stared down the camera that was different from the playfulness that they showed earlier.

It felt... angry. Like, Azure or Macaque levels of anger.

But she also had a missing animatronic.

"Come on, come on... there!" Bonnie was just standing in between the tables, staring at the camera. Xiaojiao raised a brow. He continued to stare. She blinked.

He was moving.

"Crap."

Xiaojiao could hear his footsteps come down the hall- thudding, loud, like the heartbeat in her ears. He was coming and now she understood why Vanessa's brother wanted those doors.

Down went the door.

She couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. There. That should keep him out. Soon enough, she heard footsteps…

Not walk away. Actually, they were coming down the other side.

Xiaojiao glanced down at the tablet and pulled the camera back. Chica was gone. Chica was peering from the doorway. Xiaojiao wasted no time in slamming the door down. For a few minutes, heart pounding, Xiaojiao waited until those heavy footsteps walked away.

They didn't stay away long.

There seemed to be some kind of pattern. Bonnie always came down one side, Chica the other. Bonnie would return to the stage or a broom closet to chill. Chica would head to the kitchen, where she seemed to be unpacking boxes. At least one of them was doing something helpful.

It was a rhythm that was easy to track.

That, Xiaojiao would figure later, was her mistake.

Bonnie was on stage at around 4 AM, talking to Freddy, who never ceased his glare at the camera. Chica was messing around in the kitchen. With that, Xiaojiao allowed herself to relax. Both of them moved slowly. She would have enough time to shut the door-

A clang interrupted her thoughts. At first, she assumed Chica had dropped something. Another clang raised a brow. Another, faster clang made her sit up as it repeated, again and again.

"What in the-"

Foxy sprinted into view, his hook raised and a screech coming out. Xiaojiao screamed back, her entire body going cold with terror.

And, in her state, Xiaojiao could only do one thing.

"SPICY HOT PEPPER BLAST!"

Her sword glowed green, sparking with electricity, and a laser came out. The kickback shoved her out of her chair and against the other door, looking up in time to hear Foxy scream.

"ME ARM!"

That was an issue.

There was a massive burn mark on the wall. There was also one on Foxy's arm, scarring what red fur was left. "FOXY!" Chica called, but Xiaojiao closed the door and the other before the chicken rushed up. She could barely set the tablet down before gripping her knees, taking in deep breaths as she stared at the floor.

Oh, fuck. Fuck, that had been bad. That had been super bad. There was no way Vanessa wouldn't notice.

...did Vanessa know the animatronics would do this?

A different kind of "Oh fuck" came out. If Vanessa knew, she was screwed.

Xiaojiao wasn't sure how long it was before there was a chime. She glanced up as the clock struck six. Quitting time. She took in a deep breath and tried to stand. ‘Stand’ was the keyword. Her legs felt like jelly and she could smell the terror on her. A surge of anger twisted her stomach at the sensations.

“Vanessa better have a good explanation.”

Vanessa was unlocking the front doors by the time Xiaojiao got to the dining hall. Her smile was warm, but Xiaojiao was too angry to consider how pretty it was.

"Hey! How was it? I hope the power didn't die on you. It's weird here, and we're still trying to fix it."

Okay, that was a whole other thing Xiaojiao was not going to get into. She crossed her arms, studying her boss. "You didn't tell me the animatronics moved during the night."

Vanessa raised a brow. "Oh, sorry. I thought I told you. They had this weird thing with free roam that I'm trying to fix, but they mostly move around at night and try to do tasks that need doing."

"You didn't say that they would try to k-"

"Hey, Vanessa," She nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn't even noticed Freddy move over. His voice was almost fatherly, but his gaze on her was cold. "I think I might need some help setting up tools in Parts and Services. Mind helping me."

"Uh, sure," Vanessa glanced back as Freddy guided her down the hallway. "Thanks again, Xiaojiao! See you tonight!"

Xiaojiao blinked, feeling some of the anger slide off. Well, that answered one question. However, she couldn't help but follow the duo. Sure, she was a bit upset with Vanessa, but she couldn't just leave her alone. Thankfully, there was no screaming as she crept up to the Parts and Services door.

"Come on, you promised me you would handle this better."

"I know, I know...but did you really have to hire that girl? I don't like her."

"Freddy, you don't like anyone. And Xiaojiao's been great for what position she's in, and nobody else helping her. I know that she can do great things here once Mikey comes, I can feel it. Just...give her a chance, okay?'

Xiaojiao cocked her head, showing the scene. Freddy's arm was extended with the top part off, revealing the endo underneath. Vanessa was fiddling with it, her gaze distant and distracted. Freddy stared at her with what almost seemed like fatherly affection.

"Okay, I promise."

Liar.

Xiaojiao turned and walked away, gaze hard. Now, she needed to move and be ready.

She needed to repair a few things.

-_-

The next night, the phone rang again at midnight. Xiaojiao let the message about the animatronics play until it reached the part about them being more active as the night continued. She could already see that, with Foxy tensing up, getting ready to sprint right off the stage.

She slammed the door close. She bit back a jolt at the banging that started up, but focused on closing the other door. She checked her tablet and smirked at the steady 99%. "And Tang called Pigsy weird for hanging onto that spare generator," she chuckled. Now, she would have enough power to stall until they were all there and for her little show.

Xiaojiao pulled up the camera in the hallway in time to watch Foxy trot back to the stage.

Soon enough, Chica headed down her hallway, waiting. Bonnie, unlike last night, moved third to the opposing door. Foxy made another dash to the door. Each time, she heard their footsteps, heard them paw at the door.

Each time, they walked back, looking more and more confused and annoyed. Finally, Freddy marched off the stage, looking incredibly annoyed. All four of them headed to the left door.

Bang.

Bang!

Bang, bang!

Bang, bang, bang!

BANG BANG BANG BANG-

The power held steady, but it was enough. Xiaojiao pressed the button, the door lifted, there was a shriek-

"I'll tell Vanessa."

All four froze mid strike, staring at her. Xiaojiao barely fought back a smirk. Her gamble had worked. Freddy finally spoke, sounding like he was fighting back the urge to strangle her. "You're bluffing."

Xiaojiao simply reached back and pulled up the video of the past hour. The clanging against the door rang out in the office, as the video perfectly showed what had been going on right outside the office.

"Pretty neat, huh? I noticed that some of the cameras didn't work, so I fixed them. I even fixed the computers." She wasn't gonna mention the bugs she placed everywhere, just to be sure. "I mean, Vanessa did say that you guys moved here for a fresh start and no murder. I wonder how she's gonna feel when you guys don't feel the same?"

Freddy gaped at her. Foxy was the one to speak up, rolling down his sleeve to reveal the burn mark. "Aye, and we'll be the ones to tell Ness that you brought in a weapon."

"I'll just tell Ness that she was scared for her life. Rightly so."

All of them jolted at the male voice. Xiaojiao turned in her chair.

There was a guy in the other doorway, holding a cup of coffee. He wore a dark hoodie and sunglasses, but that couldn't distract from the fact that his skin was purple. Xiaojiao was tempted to poke, but she had more questions. Including…

"How the fuck did you get in here?"

There was a gasp of "Swear jar!" but that was less important.

"I picked the lock." He held out a hand. "I'm Mike, by the way."

She took his hand, still not certain on how to react as she shook it. "Okay. Uh, I'm Xiaojiao-"

"The dangerous lunatic who smuggled in a laser sword and attempted to dismantle the animatronics." He sipped his coffee as Xiaojiao gaped. “Yeah, yeah, I’m willing to tell Ness that the animatronics were trying to get rid of a saboteur.”

...was she being blackmailed? Huh, weird. She was usually the one doing the blackmailing.

"Unless?" She had to ask.

"You both behave and leave me the fuck alone." He took another sip of his coffee. "You don't want to mess with me. I've done some fucked up shit, and Ness is used to that." He looked at her directly, cold lavender eyes boring into her soul. "Don't let Ness figure out what kinda fucked up shit you can do."

Oh. Well, that sealed it.

Before she could do anything, the clock chimed. "Well," Mike said pleasantly. "Ness should be here...about now." Of he trotted down the hallway, leaving Xiaojiao and the animatronics to glance at each other before Xiaojiao followed him down. She could hear the footfalls of the animatronics, but she didn't look back.

"Oh, Mikey! I thought you weren't gonna be here until next week!"

"Yeah, well, stuff concluded faster than expected..."

"Why do you smell like smoke?"

As a beaming Vanessa hugged her brother, Xiaojiao sighed. "I don't like him."

"Neither do we, but he's a good worker, and he's the only blood family Ness has left," Freddy groused.

The two glanced at each other. Now, Xiaojiao nearly had enough with the animatronics. But she had agreed with Mike that she would stay on. So…

"I have some pranking ideas." She held out a hand. "Truce?"

"Ooh!" Foxy cooed, elbowing to hover next to her. "Mind sharing with ole Foxy, lass?"

"I'm gonna pretend this isn't happening," Freddy said, turning and walking away. "Chica, come on. I want plausible deniability." 

Xiaojiao felt her smile grow. Okay, so this wasn’t the best job in the world. But it was stable and, with her family forged in ice and Samadhi fire, she would make it work.

[midnightcreator12]

Time to Ramble about Clan Hamato-Verd vs. The Turtle-verse

(title a wip)

Because there WILL be a multi-chapter fic about that at some point and I like how much I can DO with the multiverse in play. And I have so much brainrot over all the lil adventures so y'all get a sneak peek!

There are no rules saying that I cant reuse canon universes that have already appeared! (Cause I'm writing the 'rules' lol) Becasue I have a VERY strong mental idea of how I want Chula to intervene with the 2003 Leo vs the Foot.

Chula actually brings no turtles on this trip. CJ is the one who tags along and they split up to go find any signs of the turtles (they're making a network to try and track down Astra and the Clones and the turtles are the most likely people to hear news about them because 'turtle luck'). CJ actually finds them first, right as Leo is being tossed into April's apartment.

CJ stays outside for most of the fight, picking off ninja who are trying to go in and overwhelm the turtles. He manages to shoot a message to Chula that he needs her NOW and dives into the fight inside about the same time as adult Casey does.

Casey questions if the kid is stealing his thing, CJ says he'll explain later and its a long story and April yells that CJ needs to get out of here and that this is too dangerous for a kid. And CJ is like 1) hell no. 2) then explain the 3 fifteen year old turtles who are very much in the thick of this fight

The fight goes on, CJ is actually doing VERY well in it (foot ninja are easier to fight than alien death machines, who knew?) And then Shredder shows up, doing his lil speech about how he's going to burn the turtles to the ground, blah, blah, blah.

Then CJ, from the front of the shop, his back to the door, says that Shredder should consider calling this attack quits and leaving while he can. And, of course, Shredder and Hun think this kid is being ridiculous, the Foot has the upper hand after all and what can this skinny little teen playing at being a hero do?

And CJ's like 'Maybe I can't take all of you-" lighting crash, dramatically revealing Chula's form towering behind Casey, light catching her visor in just the right way so you can see one, furious, glowing green eye. "But Mrs. Verd is gonna make sure none of you leave alive."

cue a massive battle montage where Chula gets to peel Shredder out of his mech suit and is more than happy to rip his tiny alien form apart while CJ covers the Splinterson's escape.

CJ takes everyone back to the Tortuga, where Leo is quickly attended to with bacta that has him making weeks of recovery in minutes. And by the time hes up and asking what happened, Chula returns, most of the blood on her armor washed away by rain but gleefully showing off the new Shredder helm that is to be added to her collection

------------------

Chula finds a sainw don and finds his dimension where his fam is not dead yet and she takes the role of prime 03 don and helps them overthrow the shredder

------------------

Chula gets a habit of collecting turtles from bad timelines that starts with her finding a Rise Universe where the Krang Invasion succeeds and the 4 turts are the last ones standing

F!Leo is knocked out by the time Chula gets there so the other three have no escape route and are just trying to protect their Leo.

Meanwhile, F!Leo goes down and his last thought is that he's going to die. Only to wake up to a younger version of him in baggy pants and a poncho grinning and telling him "Heeeeey, I'm your lil bro now! And tall, dark, and scary in the corner is your mom!"

And F!Leo is just, '....this is not how I imagined hell.'

Meanwhile, F!Donnie is just happy to be on a spaceship that ISN'T trying to kill him

(See also, Past rise kids fighting for Chula's attention with the Future Rise kids. Maybe a subplot where the past kids think maybe Chula would prefer to hang out with other adults or/and Future boys thinking she'd prefer the younger, undamaged versions. (she loves both. both past and future versions are her boys))

----------------------

In the same vein as that, Chula trying to 'adopt' turtles but they refuse.

I think CJ is actually from another dimension instead of the future so, Chula is thankfully doing a solo run when she finds CJ's home reality and find Master Leonardo, alive but not for much longer without treatment.

Chula, of course, trys to help him but he pushes her away and begs her to just let him die. He wants his brothers, he's tired, he wants to go home.

And, as much as it hurts, Chula understands on some level. So she sits with Leonardo until he dies and holds a burial ceremony for him when he does. She thinks she sees a flicker before she leaves, someone in the corner of her eye that almost looks like Leo.

She doesn't dwell on it and moves on to the next reality.

----------------------

Chula drops into the 2007 universe and finds out that Leo is off in the jungle and no one has gotten word from him in a while....she leaves the Lair and is back in about 3 hours with a very confused and screeching Leo hog-tied over her shoulder and asking, "who the hell thought separating you boys was a good idea?!"

----------------------

She meets Shredder from the 1990 movie....

She is not impressed and pretty much just bitch slaps him

---------------------

I do not really like the Bayverse movies but I like the idea of Chula meeting them and being like, "Holy hell, a set of your four that are taller than me! Now that's a new one.'

---------------------

But we also gotta posit Chula meeting other versions of herself. Maybe the Feral Chula from the non-canon crossover I did with Feral Leo. Or a Chula that never left Death Watch and ended up in the Empire's ranks. Or a Chula who grew up with both parents, or grew up with her mom on Lasan and became an Honor Guard.

Hell, Chula meeting other versions of ASTRA. An Astra who stubbornly stuck to the Jedi code and never tried to form a relationship with her Chula. An Astra who DID join her father in his slaving business. An Astra who ended up becoming a Sith. An Astra that ran away with Seena and they both became mercenaries dodging the bounty their father put on them.

--------------------

Okay, this ones a lil dark and simi inspired by a vague memory of a comic I saw ages ago. From what I remember from the comic, Splinter was a lot more abusive to the boys and was training them so they could take down the foot clan. And Leo ended up killing Splinter because Splints told Leo to kill Donnie because Donnie wasn't taking the training seriously enough/was doing poorly.

SO! In my scenario, the setup is pretty much that but they're pre-teens. Leo agrees but says he should take Donnie away from the Lair so Raph and Mikey won't interfere. Splinter is like 'Whatever, just get rid of him'

Leo takes Donnie far away from the Lair and tells him that he has to run far away or SPlinter will kill them both. Donnie does as Leo asks and Leo kills a rat on his way back, showing the blood on his blade as 'proof'

Donnie runs pretty far and collapses at one point. But his crying attracts the attention of a certain Mandalorian who's looking for the turtles of this dimension.

She, of course, goes to check on Donnie and Donnie is distrustful at first but he's also a pre-teen who has had very little to no positive attention from anyone but his brothers (and even then, only when they were sure Splinter wasn't able to hear/see them)

And Chula asks if Donnie wants to stay with her (assuming that he's alone) and he begs her to take his brothers with her too.

She agrees, now very confused as to whats happening. Donnie is clearly in bad shape, do these turtles just not have a Splinter? And if that's the case, why is Donnie alone?

But Donnie is getting excited as he leads her to the Lair because he and his brother don't have to live with Splinter anymore! He gets so excited that, when they get close enough to the Lair, he breaks away from Chula and runs into the Lair-

Only to come face to face with Splinter. And Splinter is furious because Leo lied to him and the 'weak' one is back and now he has to handle this himself because Leo clearly is not the good student he thought he was-

Except, when he goes to strike Donnie, screaming murder and vengeance, he's stopped by a massive, clawed hand grabbing him up and slamming him to the ground hard enough that something cracked.

All the turtles stare in shock as Chula towers over Splinter. She'd taken her helmet off with Donnie before so they get to see the pure rage on her face. But it's gone when she turns to Donnie and quietly tells him to go pack his things and tell the others to do the same.

Splinter can't move but he still screams at the boys to attack, to defend their master. Not one moves to help him. They all scurry away, leaving Chula to freely drag Splinter out into the sewers.

The adventure ends with Chula adopting four pre-teen turtles that have no interest in learning any kind of fighting and she is perfectly happy with that and takes every chance she can to shower them in love and cuddles and constant reminders that they never have to fight for her.

-------------------

And so much more! Everything is on the table! Even fan iterations! (there are a few I would very much want to play with ngl)

[fakemonexperiments]

fakemon concepts

so, you’re still thinking about making one of those pokemon creatures: the question is, what kind of pokemon creature do you want to make?

how to concept

before we get to actually designing the pokemon, you’ll first want to come up with a strong concept. this is what your pokemon is actually about, its core conceit, what makes it special! a strong concept will guide your design and tell you exactly what your pokemon should look like, in terms of physical characteristics, pose, and personality.

disclaimer: pokemon concepts have evolved over the generations, which is really only to be expected from an almost 30-year-old franchise. pokemon concepts will continue to evolve over time. I’m not going to be the judge to say “this looks like a pokemon” or not, mostly because they release new and surprising pokemon every year and I always find myself liking them anyway. these are just a few frameworks that will hopefully help you navigate fakemon design.

anyway.

the fundamentals

pokemon concepts are often made up of multiple parts: where the skill lies is in pairing parts that go well with each other. for example, bulbasaur is a bulb-frog that evolves into a flower-dinosaur. confusing? yes, when I put it like that. but what makes it work is the narrative that ties the pokemon together (a rafflesia growing and bursting into bloom). so,

pick a base concept. easy tier would be an animal, plant, or object (1), but feel free to go further! many of the more anthromorphic pokemon are based around ideas or professions rather than a specific animal. think of snorlax (hungry sleepy animal, not actually a bear) or kirlia (a ballet dancer). pick a base that’s evocative and flexible. the base should be something that would be familiar to a child, if not in specifics then at least in general. (2)

find a secondary concept. the secondary concept does not need to relate to your base concept, but it should have synergy with it, IE they should resonate with each other and make it easier, rather than harder, to understand your pokemon on first glance.

marry these concepts together using a narrative and personality. your pokemon should tell its own mini-story. how does it function in the wild? how does it behave in relation to humans? what are its likes and dislikes? at this point, you may start filling out the laundry list of pokemon traits (post upcoming), like their typing, evolution stage, pokedex entries, stats, and so on. (3)

does this pokemon go with other pokemon? if so, you might need to think about those pokemon too! like real life critters, they can have a variety of relationships, be it mutualistic or antagonistic or anything along those lines. if this pokemon evolves, think about how its core idea evolves through the different stages (as opposed to just getting bigger and more complexly designed). you can go through this process for those guys too!

happy with your fakemon concept? good! now is time to refine your concept further. here is a DIAGRAM I have made for your reference.

pokemon graph 01

you’re probably looking at this like. what the hell does THAT mean??? but you also probably get it from looking at it. all pokemon fall on this diagram somewhere. you should try to stay within the pale red diamond, otherwise known as “the pokemon zone”. here are why I labelled the axes as such:

a zoo animal is a pokemon that’s too familiar for anyone’s liking. it does not necessarily need to be an animal, that’s just the name I’m using for it. this often happens if you lean too hard on your base concept and make your pokemon wayyy too specific. like if you made a mantis shrimp but it’s just a mantis shrimp. yes, it’s very cool, because mantis shrimp are fundamentally cool, but at the end of the day, it’s still basically just a mantis shrimp with no other significant traits. again, “zoo animal” can also apply to more humanlike concepts - this happens when you make a pokemon’s assigned characteristics too clear in its design. remember: timburr has a vest and carries a steel bar, but it does NOT wear a hat and its vest is not high-vis. try simplifying and abstracting if this is you.

a furby is a pokemon that is unearthly to the point of unfamiliarity. I mean, yes, strictly speaking all pokemon are unearthly, but this is a pokemon that’s so unfamiliar it’s hard to parse on first glance what’s going on with it. often this has to do with missing the mark on pokemon design conventions, but the existing pokemon I’d place close to this are actually ultra beasts, which are like this by design. they do this by doing things like having uncomfortably and satirically humanoid silhouettes, missing faces and facial expressions, being full abominations and so on. there are some really interesting things you can do in this space, but you want to still make sure this pokemon is interesting and likeable to a child.

a digimon is, well, a digimon. there are plenty of theses on why digimon are different from pokemon, but personally the main difference is in the scale of design: digimon tend to be much more anthropomorphic and also much more complicated, with the addition of armour and clothing. when a pokemon (such as lucario or gardevoir) is anthro, they aren’t straightforwardly so - they mess with the proportions, they disrupt the silhouette. they also don't straightforwardly add clothes; usually the clothes are baked into the pokemon's fur or skin to give an impression (such as with gumshoos). people fall into the digimon trap when they overcomplicate their design by adding too many elements into it.

a neopet is also, well. a neopet. unlike digimon, neopets tend to be undercomplicated and oversimplified. instead of having the secondary concept, they tend to have a single concept with a personality tacked onto it. not all cute pokemon are neopets, and not all neopets are cute pokemon. for example, eevee looks like it could be a neopet, but is specifically designed to be no particular animal, as well as having a unique concept behind its evolution and relation to other pokemon. if you’ve got a neopet-looking pokemon, try to make its concept more complex (although not necessarily more convoluted).

you might have noticed that I’ve mentioned that certain existing pokemon lean one way or another, but are still considered pokemon. this is because pokemon changes all the time and is constantly pushing the definition of what it means to be a pokemon. as I said, making fakemon is meant to be fun! do whatever! but pokemon official is able to do this because they are aware of pokemon design conventions to begin with. that’s why ultra beasts are Labelled As Ultra Beasts, it’s because they don’t fit the design conventions. keep this in mind when conceptualising your pokemon!

appeal to children

think your fakemon sounds like a fakemon? cool. now you want to make sure your fakemon hits the right tone, and for that, it must be parseable to a child.

like, a kid should be able to listen to your concept and be like oh that makes sense and not get lost along the way. this is because despite the ageing fanbase, one of the cornerstones of pokemon remains being accessible to new and young players, rather than just old veterans. if it’s too complex, streamline your ideas! if it’s too simple, buff up the narrative! every pokemon should, theoretically, be able to become some child’s best friend and companion.

if you’re struggling to figure out how to do this, one thing I’ve found very helpful is actually relying on the frameworks pokemon already gives us in game. that is, your pokemon’s condition!

in-game, pokemon are used in contests, and their condition is part of their judging. for fakemon, this means you can use these stats to guide the appeal of your pokemon:

tough

cool

beauty

cute

smart

or any combination of these! most pokemon (I find) tend to lean on 2 of these characteristics. a pokemon can be large and brutish, but it must be scary in a cool way. in an exciting way! in a “wow that’s so sick I wish I had one of those” kind of way. note also that conditions tend to lend themselves to certain kinds of moves, builds, and stats, but if you’ve been following along with a fakemon in mind that should probably make sense to you anyway.

now that you’ve thoroughly refined your pokemon concept, it’s time to put your pokemon in context.

cultural concepts (and appropriation)

okay, listen. if you are making a fakemon, there’s a good chance you’re thinking of making a fakemon region, or pokedex. like the pokemon company, you’re probably considering basing it on a real-world geographic area and culture. and that’s not bad! but you need to be careful!

I’m not saying that you should only write or make art about cultures that you personally are familiar with, but please for the love of god do not make racist fakemon. I have seen enough racist fakemon for a lifetime. think about the appropriateness of the story you’re telling. are you the right person to tell this story? is this story yours to tell?

as a creator it is your responsibility to research thoroughly any other culture you seek to represent, especially their mythology. this includes being sensitive to their perspective on said culture, which may have religious or otherwise implications that you aren’t aware of. I am once again asking you to be, at the bare minimum, respectful. (4)

if you’re working on a culture that isn’t yours, look into getting a sensitivity reader! I assure you that this is not as scary as it sounds, and could be as simple as asking a friend from that culture to look over your work and point out any blind spots. (if you don’t have any friends from that culture, this should doubly make you question why you’re making fakemon about it, of all things.) please also thank your friend for their time - sensitivity reading is also a job that people get paid for, if you’d like to hire someone instead.

anyway, key points:

if you’re representing a culture or background that isn’t yours, do your research

part of that research may involve speaking to people from that culture or background to actually make the pokemon work

this is not a bad thing and will in fact help you make better pokemon

ultimately the goal of any culturally inspired pokemon should be to celebrate that culture! not to perpetuate racist stereotypes lol

conclusion

a lot of people think that pokemon is often X + Y = Z. they’re not wrong, but it’s actually more like A + B + C + D + E = Z, where A to E aren’t just different things, they’re different categories of things. A might be your base concept. B might be the weird riff you’re putting on it. C might be a personality trait. D is the narrative role of the pokemon. and E is probably the completely broken unique move or ability you’ve concocted for your pokemon that would make it horrible to play against competitively.

make your pokemon rigourously! make them robust! make them fun! and ultimately, please make them a child’s best friend, to go on their pokemon journey with.

footnotes:

(1) I guess a sort of riff on animal, vegetable, mineral, except that pokemon objectmons go far beyond minerals. grass types aren’t all strictly plants, and vegetables do encompass mushrooms though.

(2) a child might not be familiar with the specific parasite that orbeetle is based on, but they do know ladybugs and they do know UFOs. and they’d be like, wow, so cool!

(3) please know that even though I’ve labelled these steps 1-4, you don’t have to actually do them in order. you could start with a typing you want to fill or a narrative in mind, then come up with a pokemon to fill the gaps. start with a design and then make up a personality for it! I’m not the boss of you.

(4) I’m not going to pretend pokemon doesn’t have its own history of cultural appropriation and racism (cc xatu, jynx, etc.). but that doesn’t mean you have to do it.

[woolandcoffee]

I have been starting to dig into Ed Fitch's Grimoire of Shadows this week, and it really is a lovely book. There is a lot of genuinely valuable information in here, and there's no denying that it has earned its place in the history of the modern pagan movement. Yet, as I read it, I can't help but imagine how this book would be received by the current witchblr community. There are a lot of "problematic" elements in A Grimoire of Shadows. To begin with, Fitch treats Wicca as an ancient religion that has been underground for centuries prior to resurfacing in the 1900s. He uses the terms "Wicca" and "witchcraft" interchangeably. He leans into gender essentialism, including discussions of male-female "working pairs." If someone picked up A Grimoire of Shadows expecting to find a book that reflects modern values and understanding, they would be sorely disappointed. They may even be tempted to write a tumblr post, or a Goodreads review, warning others to stay away, maybe even denigrating Fitch for perpetuating harmful ideas.

But that wouldn't be the whole story. A Grimoire of Shadows was written during the middle of the twentieth century. It reflects the common understanding of Wicca at the time. It shows us how those early Wiccans saw themselves, their religion, and their place in the world. And perhaps even more importantly than that (though my gods, as though that isn't important enough), A Grimoire of Shadows was one of the first widely available books on Wicca that was intended to help people start practicing without first being initiated into a Gardenarian or Alexandrian coven. A Grimoire of Shadows compiles what is known as the "Outer Court" of Wicca. This is the information that is freely available to anyone, as opposed to the "Inner Court" which refers to secret information that only initiated members of a lineaged coven may obtain. As Aidan Kelly put it, in a 2012 Patheos article, Fitch's tradition established in A Grimoire of Shadows "created a form of Witchcraft that was Gardnerian in all but a few oath-bound details." This book then helped serve as one of the foundational works of the Pagan Way, an organization formed by Fitch and several other prominent members of the modern pagan movement, which in turn played a key role in shaping modern neo-Paganism. Therefore, A Grimoire of Shadows is important because it is so foundational to what came after. It is a critical text for understanding the history of the modern pagan movement, the shaping of both current neo-Paganism and neo-Wicca. It is important, at least in part, because of the out-dated ideas, not in spite of them.

I think there is a tendency for some modern practitioners - especially those who are new to modern paganism - to write off older books (particularly if they are written by older Wiccans). And to a certain degree, I do kind of get it. If you don't have a solid understanding of the history of the modern pagan movement, which many practitioners new and old alike do not, and if you're caught up in the throws of purity culture, then confronting these older books can be daunting. Perhaps its easier to write off Wicca as a whole instead of grappling with the difficult topics presented by these historical texts. But I think that's a mistake. Sure, there's a lot in A Grimoire of Shadows that I would never incorporate into my modern practice because it is outdated, based on misinformation, or just simply doesn't mesh with my 21st century morals and values. But its important to me that I understand the history of the modern pagan movement, and the thoughts and ideas that came before where we are today. For example, today we know that Wicca is not an ancient religion stretching back to the stone age that was forced to go underground. But those ideas clearly animated and inspired the original Wiccans and modern pagans, and I can see why. It's a provocative idea, its a good mythos, and even though it is fundamentally untrue, there is a kernel of something powerful there. What would it be like to create a religion with an eye towards the values of our deep ancestors? What would it be like to create a religion based on relationship to the earth? What could we make?

Anyways. I'm enjoying this book immensely, and am overjoyed to add it to my library. If you're someone who is interested in the history of the modern pagan movement, then A Grimoire of Shadows is absolutely worth your time.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

I've been reading my way through a box set of the Sandman comics and I've got to the end of book ten. There are still four books left in the box, but I think they're prequels and other stories set in the same universe (i.e. extra bits) rather than a continuation of the story. It feels like the story have reached its conclusion. I have some thoughts about this. This is not a carefully thought out literary criticism essay or a refined piece of meta or anything. This is just me dumping my thoughts out in no particular order having finished reading the book last night.

Major spoilers below.

I was aware of the major event in The Kindly Ones from having read a bunch of fanfics. After watching the TV show, I start reading fics and while I focused mostly on the TV show fics because that's the version I was familiar with, enough writers are fans of both that they would borrow future aspects of the comics plot even for stories set in the TV show universe, so I picked up a few bits and pieces of what was going to happen. Even with that spoiler, I was caught by surprise by aspects of The Kindly Ones.

I didn't expect it to involve the plot with Puck and Loki. I just expected that the furies would attack after Orpheus's death - I hadn't expected that they would need to be given an excuse. I loved the journey Lyta went on to find the furies, with the transitions in and out of the real world and her metaphorical journey. That was handled beautifully well and I really hope the Netflix adaptation doesn't get canceled before it gets this far because I would love to see that interpreted on screen.

I was really moved by parts of both The Kindly Ones and The Wake. Seeing the deaths of the various Dreaming characters moved me more than I thought it would, and then we get Matthew's show of loyalty and the moment in the cave afterwards where he says he should have stayed, because if he'd stayed and died with Dream, he wouldn't be miserable now. That got to me. I hadn't expected to find myself tearing up over a comic book, but it was really well done.

Having the Corinthian brought back earlier is a great way to foreshadow what's going to happen, and introduce us to the idea of someone being the same person and not being that person at the same time. Corinthian has some of the memories of the previous version of himself, but he's not the same person. He's someone new. The fact that we have the length of a book to get used to that idea makes it easier to understand what happens with Dream and Daniel. The new Dream has some memories from the old Dream and is in some ways the same person, but he's also not Morpheus.

I'm disappointed that we seem to have skipped the scene where Hob finds out who Dream is. The timeline of their meetings is basically spelled out in the comics canon. They had their once-a-century meetings. Then Dream came to Hob in a dream before going to Hell. Then Dream randomly shows up while Hob is visiting the graveyard and they go for a drink - they talk about the dream then, so clearly there haven't been any meetings in the meantime. Hob talks about Dream having some sort of magical powers, but it's clear he doesn't really know what they are or what their limits are. Then we get to The Wake and Hob is told that the Dream King is dead and he is distraught. It can't be true, because the Dream King is his friend.

Somehow, in this scene, Hob knows exactly who Dream is - now that he's gone. It could be that he just knows "in the manner that you know things in dreams" as someone else puts it later one. There's a handful of panels where someone says that he knows they're there for a funeral is the way you just know stuff sometimes when you're dreaming, so it's possible that when Hob's told Dream's dead, he just magically knows that they're talking about his stranger. But in the scene with Death after the funeral, he says that he "figured it out eventually" about who Dream was.

It feels like there's a missing scene between the graveyard meeting and Dream's funeral where Hob works out who Dream was, and we never get to see it. Which is disappointing.

I do love the ambiguity of the ending. Like, the surface-level text of the comic is incredibly clear. The original Dream is dead. There's a whole book focused on the funeral, after all. Daniel says very clearly that he's not the old Dream, the old Dream is dead. It's plain in the text that he's gone.

But in the subtext? Woo boy, that's a different story.

You have Matthew speculating that Dream might show up, "The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated". The whole conversation about the jewel and the facets was about Daniel, yes, but it could also have been about the facets of the current Morpheus, and that killing one facet didn't necessarily mean killing the whole. You have the lines from multiple people about how the only choice was the change or die. You have Destruction saying that it would be okay to walk away to Daniel, echoing the earlier conversation with Morpheus, telling him that it's alright for him to leave. You have the moments with two Destinies with two books, suggesting that the story is splitting. Yes, Dream is dead, but there's another book where something else happened entirely.

And then, most significant of all, when Hob falls asleep at the ren fest, he dreams of Dream and Destruction together on the beach, surprised to see him.

It feels like a completely valid interpretation of the text to say that Morpheus/Dream didn't really die. He allowed an aspect of himself to die, so that Daniel could be reborn into the role of Dream, but the Morpheus part could have been split off. He could have taken the "change" part of the "change or die" message and become something new - something that isn't Dream of the Endless but that still keeps the rest of himself.

It's all but stated in places that Morpheus planned this - and the fact you have Loki realising he's been played is evidence for this. It could be interpreted as Morpheus planning a way to commit suicide that won't leave his realm or humanity suffering for his absence. Or it could be interpreted that this whole thing is a manipulation and that Dream let this happen because he knew he had a way to escape, a way that he wouldn't truly die.

There are a load of fics on AO3 that talk about retired!Dream - that takes the idea that Dream didn't really die, but killed off the aspect of himself that was Endless and became something more human. He gave up a chunk of his power along with his responsibilities, but now he gets the freedom. In most fandoms, I would take this as fandom's fix-it approach to canon character death, but here it feels like a valid interpretation of the text, given Hob's dream of Dream and Destruction together. Especially in light of the final story in The Wake.

The final story is a flashback to Shakespeare writing the Tempest and it has a couple of points where it talks about Prospero breaking his staff and giving up magic at the end. In a conversation with Shakespeare, Dream basically admits that this is wish fulfillment fantasy for him. He wants a story where the great magician can break his staff and drown his book and walk away from magic entirely, because that's something he knows he can never do. This could be interpreted in multiple ways. It could be taken as evidence that the retirement theory is correct, and that all through the last couple of books, this was what Dream was working towards, a way to leave behind his power without abandoning his responsibility. Or it could be interpreted as Dream saying that retirement was never an option for him, and the only way out for him was to orchestrate his death.

I don't know if anything will come up in the next four books to tip the scales one way or the other, but I like that the book leaves it ambiguous. Did Dream commit suicide-by-fury? Did Dream orchestrate his escape and run away with his brother? Depends which way you want to interpret it. Go with whichever answer makes you happy.

[pbdropshipping]

Who is the Founder of Dropshipping? Introduction to the Origins of the E-commerce Model

What is Dropshipping?

So, you’ve probably heard the term "dropshipping" being thrown around a lot lately, but what exactly does it mean? In simple terms, dropshipping is a retail business model where you, the seller, don’t keep products in stock. Instead, when someone places an order on your store, you pass the order along to a supplier who ships the product directly to the customer. This way, you don’t have to worry about managing inventory or handling shipping—it's all taken care of by someone else.

How Did Dropshipping Start?

The Old School Retail Struggles Before the internet changed everything, traditional retailers had to buy products in bulk, store them in a warehouse, and wait for customers to come along and make purchases. If they sold out, that’s great! But if they didn’t, they were stuck with unsold inventory, which could be a big financial headache. Plus, having to manage all that stock was super expensive.

The Internet and E-Commerce Revolution Fast forward to the 1990s—suddenly, everyone’s got internet access, and e-commerce platforms like Amazon and eBay pop up. These platforms gave retailers a way to sell online, but they still had to deal with inventory. It was only a matter of time before someone realized there was a better way: instead of buying products in bulk, why not partner with suppliers to ship orders directly to customers? Enter dropshipping.

Global Supply Chains Take Off As global trade picked up, logistics companies started offering warehousing and shipping services that made dropshipping even easier. With platforms like AliExpress and Amazon’s FBA (Fulfillment by Amazon), businesses could sell products from anywhere in the world and have them shipped directly to customers. And with PayPal and other payment platforms making online transactions smoother, the whole system became more seamless.

Shopify and the Rise of Easy Online Stores By the mid-2000s, Shopify made it super easy for anyone to start an online store, no coding or tech skills required. Dropshipping became more accessible than ever—entrepreneurs could choose products from suppliers, list them on their store, and start selling right away, all without worrying about inventory or shipping.

The Boom of Dropshipping (and Its Challenges) From 2015 onwards, dropshipping exploded in popularity, especially with younger entrepreneurs who were drawn to the idea of starting their own online businesses without the heavy upfront costs. Social media platforms like YouTube and TikTok also became a hotbed for dropshipping tips and success stories.

But with the boom came some challenges: competition grew fierce, and issues like slow shipping and customer trust started to pop up. Many customers were skeptical of dropshipping businesses, thinking the products might be low-quality or take forever to arrive.

Why Dropshipping is Still a Good Idea

Even with all the competition, dropshipping still offers plenty of perks, especially for new entrepreneurs:

Low Startup Costs: You don’t need a ton of money to start. There’s no need to buy inventory or rent a warehouse—just set up your store and start selling.

Flexibility: You can easily add new products to your store without worrying about how to store or manage them.

Global Reach: You can work with suppliers from all over the world and offer a wide range of products.

Low Risk: Since you only order products after customers pay for them, you’re not stuck with unsold stock.

Automation: A lot of the work, like order fulfillment and shipping, can be automated by partnering with suppliers, saving you time and effort.

Conclusion

Dropshipping has come a long way since its early days. Today, it’s one of the most popular ways to run an online business, especially for those who don’t want to deal with the headaches of inventory or logistics. If you’re looking to start an e-commerce business, it’s definitely worth considering—but just remember, while it’s easy to get started, you’ll still need to nail your marketing and customer service to really succeed.

[brick-van-dyke]

Okay, for those who say "abolish the police is unrealistic and stupid" or "well if we just get rid of the bad ones it'll be okay", I have some stories to tell from the last year of rallying for Palestine that'll probably make you think twice about these pig bastards in blue.

First and foremost, let me just start by saying the worst thing: they have threatened literal children for having brown skin. Yeah, you read that correctly, literal fucking children who are like 12 or 13 years old because they were at a rally and weren't in the centre of it enough, so they thought it'd be easier to target someone small and vulnerable. And this isn't the first time they've targeted people.

Let's start with some context first. A group of locals have been protesting the decisions of a steel manufacturer that has been proven to (in fact it says it on their official website and their employees have bragged about it) sell the steel they temper to Israel's weapons and defence industry where they have, provably with evidence, used said steel for tank armour and bulldozer parts in the IOF. The tanks are used in the genocide on Palestinians and the bulldozers are used in Gaza and he West Bank currently to flatten land and get it ready for Israeli settlers. We have local Palestinians who live here who have voiced concern for this being done essentially in their own backyard and community. In my local area, there have been protests since October last year against Israel's response to Oct 7 and calling for a ceasefire. This has developed over the course of their escalation of violence to call for an end to the apartheid state and to call out our governments complicity. This includes speeches and marches set on the same day each week, as well as other actions like pickets as complicit manufacturing companies and shooting local university encampments.

I've never liked the police, but I've never hated and feared them like how I have this year. My main criticism was that they're used in social and health issues when there's no need for them to be there, especially since the only contact I've had with them until the above have been purely due to my mental health issues and having had them called on me which left me more intimidated by the idea of having them there for a mental health emergency rather than feeling helped. I was able to get help luckily, but not because of them, rather, the ambulance, social workers and psychologists who actually sorted out the situation. Admittedly, I was also intimidated due to how many stories of violence I've heard from fellow disabled people and how many news stories have come out recently of police becoming violent towards mentally ill people in particular, poor people (especially the homeless) and drug users. While I've heard of stories from friends, I never saw them act up face to face in a way that really made me hate or fear them. That changed when I saw how they treated people with darker skin.

"You're free to have your opinion, but you can't cause disruptions and you have to respect the law". On its own, that sounds reasonable. But you need to understand that this was a police constable saying this to a group of Palestinian mothers, fathers and their children, local community members who consisted of the elderly, disabled and, again, children and young people, who had only just arrived at the site of a planned action that had been given the go ahead by the police. They were not inside said industrial site and were standing around on the grass and cement path that led to the gates. For those unaware, the purpose of a picket is to block the entrance of a given place in protest of their conduct or the higher ups' decisions.

While yes, there are asome blurred lines between trespassing, disruption and the legal allowance and right to protest, the police were well aware of the nature of this event being a picket and had formally allowed it to ahead. There was no notice of a move on order nor any indication that the picket had been called off. This was 100% a tactic to intimidate people into compliance and to essentially say "well I don't like it so you can't protest even though you're fully in your right to". Using the blurred lines between that right and a move on order being binding to claim we were in the wrong was essentially something this guy wanted to wave in front of us to say "we can do what we want, so don't push your luck". During the picket, they made a point of trying to walk around near kids or disabled people and generally look intimidating, they passed up and down, but ultimately left since too many people turned up to the protest and they couldn't arrest 200 or more people with just five police officers and no paddy wagon.

And this is the more minor case for things they've been shitty with. This is more to give an idea of the type of mindset that leads to the next part.

For the weekly protests, we've always had the ability to formally protest as per our right and through an official permit to do so. Last week, that changed after a new constable joined the force and decided that he didn't like anyone protesting (it's unclear if he meant that in relation to being pro Palestine or in general). So, despite our protests being permitted, he initially claimed that that there aren't enough police generally to keep up with protests weekly, then changed it to the claim that there weren't enough to counter the rise in terror threats (this was changed when the ACO raised the national terror threat, knowing full well there's been no change to these protests and we've been entirely peaceful and non violent). Over the last few weeks, they'd come really close to us and march beside us as if we were going to act up at any moment (this has never happened in the 10 months we've been here but suddenly they think we'll start being violent one day after 10 months for some reason). They then outright stopped the road blocking and ordered us to only use the sidewalk. Even then, they decided at the start of the march that they would change which way we would go and stopped us from going on certain pathways. There was no actually meaning in doing so since all the sidewalks were the same and the direction we took for the march didn't really matter. That being said, it was very clear that they wanted to be aggressive and that they wanted more control over the march, so they began to direct us in a direction we actually hadn't agreed on before hand (in previous weeks there had been discussions between them and our police liaison who would determine which route we would take and then organise accordingly). At the end of the rally, they then picked off a young man at the back and surrounded him, demanding to search him. He was just a young guy, maybe a late teen or young adult who seemed really timid. He didn't do anything suspicious at all, but apparently "acted suspicious" on account of "mental issues" (which is already a shit reasons to demand to search someone, I'd know), but he was also visibly Arab. He had nothing on him and he was let go, but this was so obviously a case of racial profiling and the fact they just chose a random Arab person who was at the back enough to harass? Yeah that speaks volume as to what sort of people are "defending" law and order here.

Then comes this week rally and I think this is definitively what filled me with hate towards them. I didn't like them and I've always felt intimidated by them before, and I never trusted them, but this? This made me despise them. At the end of this week's march, we gathered around for a final round of speeches. During this, the police that aggressively matched right next to us had gone off and targeted a young girl, about 12 years old I think, and her mother. The two were trying to get away and, thankfully, there were enough people around to protect them, but the police wanted to interrogate them and particularly talked to the little girl. Did I mention the two wee Arab, but the girl had darker skin than her mother? Yeah. Pretty goddamn fucked up right?

What really surprised me though, both last week and this week, were how not surprised every other Arab person at the rally was and how much they didn't panic. They knew what to do. They were there before anyone could even think. And each time the people harassed bounced back as if nothing happened. So maybe this is just me overthinking, but it seemed to me this wasn't new behaviour.

Several things stand out to me from all of this:

Police are consistently entitled. Everything they do is "allowed" because they're law enforcement, so anything goes. Maybe "not all police" feel this way specifically, but the role itself is one that allows, on a systematic level, to feel in control of others and enables them to feel comfortable doing abhorrent things to those they view as beneath them.

The racism and ableism in their ranks are systemic, widespread and consistent. This isn't abnormal behaviour for them and it's not something a "nice cop" can prevent, not when the apical structure of our society is one that thrives off of black and brown suffering. Arabs are nothing but a terrorist until proven "not a terrorist yet", this goes for children as well. Every black person is a "might be" criminal. But white people? They're given the most grace, but if they think a person in "beneath" them (for example a disabled or elderly person), then anything goes.

They actively seek out aggression and try to start things to make arrests. It's very clear that the idea of someone lashing out against them is a positive, if not even the entire point, of their being there. Consistently, the majority of police officers have tried to purposely start a fight or tried to aggregate protesters. Consistently, they try to target black/ brown people, queer people, children, the elderly, disabled and other vulnerable populations. They are there to feel powerful and have the opportunity to enforce that power in a violent confrontation, not to protect anyone. Maybe there are some who aren't, but the vast majority have acted to the contrary of "wanting peace".

All those targeted by the police are those who "look" disabled, mentally ill, like they're on drugs or like they're poor. All of these are health and social issues that need attention from social and healthcare workers, not a force that evidently thrives off of aggression and control.

All in all, I think it's very clear that law enforcement are both an unnecessary and dangerous force. Every instance of police led force has led to harm to vulnerable populations who needed help from social workers and services or healthcare services. it's evident that those who are seen as "dangerous" by police (and likely by society) are those who actually need the most support and oftentimes a minority who is being profiled as dangerous for being part of a marginalised group.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT GROUP

Evan and Joshua had to do was pretend that the story had really taken place, and to analyze based on what the characters said and did the subtler clues, the better what their motives must have been to take every penny of the $20 million and use it to buy us at an early stage, but companies doing acquisitions are not looking for bargains. A big company is like high fructose corn syrup, and hydrogenated vegetable oil. I think we were designed to work in.1 There seem to be on the cusp of another shift like the one from farming to manufacturing. But like a lot of adults who still react childishly to challenges, of course, is that there are economies of scale. That is in fact what venture capitalists do.2 I watched it happen to Reddit.

A company that could pay all its employees so straightforwardly would be enormously successful. Because of Y Combinator's position at the extreme end of the spectrum from a coding job at a big company, and assume you could build something way easier to use. We did it because we want their software to be good at what they do. VCs. Now when I go somewhere new, I make my own life worse. And yes, as you did in college. It would crush its competitors. So nature and nurture combine to make us avoid self-indulgence leads to trouble. In theory it seemed that the conclusion of a really good essay ought not to need more.

If you got ten people to read a manuscript, you were lucky. The problem with the facetime model is not just that it's demoralizing, but that you should start startups when you're young. If you're upwind, you decide when and if to engage the other ship. I know this business well enough to know when I come across a powerful one. I was trying to solve problems. If you go to work for one. If you had, surely you'd be just as well not to do.3 Now I know a number of people retain from childhood the idea that doing great things requires a lot of other people who also want to work on your own stuff while you're there.4 All the pain of whatever problem you're trying to advise 57 startups, it turns out that was all you needed to solve the problem would have found it. Companies ensure quality through rules to prevent employees from screwing up. The Model T didn't have all the extra motivation that comes from being in a small group, and leverage from developing new techniques.

Each group tries its best to work as if they were one person.5 The people who are interested in art learn about it for themselves, and those who aren't don't.6 And they're astoundingly successful. Technology tends to separate normal from natural. Or more precisely, in Trevor's office. It doesn't make a very good speaker. If one person gets more, someone else has to get less. What they go by is the number of startups there could be. How do you find them? Lots of people get rich knowing nothing more than a hundred years old as an axiom.

Notes

No one in its IRC channel: don't allow duplicates in the 1990s, and cook on lowish heat for at least straightforwardly benevolent, doesn't help people on the ability to solve problems, but rather that if you're good you'll have to admit there's no lower bound to its precision. Currently the lowest rate seems to me like a wave. And no, unfortunately, I was there was when we make kids do boring work, like storytellers, must have affected what they mean. Even now it's hard to pick a date, because there are none in San Francisco, LA, Boston, and this destroyed all traces.

What drives the most useless investors are just not super thoughtful for the popular image is several decades behind reality. The dialog on Beavis and Butthead was composed largely of these, because sometimes artists unconsciously use tricks by imitating art that does.

It's a case of heirs, rather than geography. They thought most programming would be a strong craving for distraction. This kind of method acting. Or rather indignant; that's a pyramid scheme.

You're not seeing fragmentation unless you want to design these, and that's much harder it is because those are usually about things you've written or talked about before, but it turns out to be important ones. I'm talking mainly about software startups are often unknowns. Most of the Web was closely tied to the company's PR people worked hard to say exactly what they're doing.

A doctor friend warns that even if our competitors had known we were quite sore from VCs attempting to probe our nonexistent database orifice.

What I'm claiming with the idea upon have different time quanta. 39 says that a startup at a blistering pace in the definition of politics: what bad taste you had in grad school in the case of Bayes' Rule. Investors will deliberately threaten you with a face-saving compromise.

Thanks to Yuri Sagalov, Paul Buchheit, and Jessica Livingston for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 325,

It was storming hard again when we finished up the day’s lessons.  Not near as hard as the other night, but enough that the kids’ leaving for the day was delayed.  

Looking for ways to keep themselves entertained, the call for another “real adventure story” was raised.  We wound up telling them about the trip on Priscilla’s island.  Well, we didn’t call it her island, just “the island that passes over the Village every now and then”.  It’s significantly easier to tell people about that expedition now without needing to talk around Maiko’s presence, especially if one begins the story with our early-morning, post-mist night dash to the island with the “mysterious hooded figure” pulling our supply cart with her bare hands in lieu of the missing (probably due to Theo) capy.  

And from that opening we went on through the entirety of the trip.  The initial exploration of the island.  Going through the mansion.  The western island with its dark and primeval forest.  Cloud tower to the north with its mysterious orbiting island tantalizingly out of reach.  The eastern island with its song enticing visitors to stay forever.

When we got to that last part I found myself awkwardly glossing over Maiko’s running off and leaving us to explore.  After Theo’s implication that all her searching had been pointless and doomed from the start, it didn’t really feel right to talk about.  Not to mention that it served as an uncomfortable reminder that that night wasn’t the first time she’s abruptly run off and left us.  If I’d thought that far ahead I might have chosen a different story for the day.  Doesn’t help that once the topic of Maiko is brought up the kids want to hear more about her.  I think they’ve hyped her up to be a sort of mysterious celebrity or hero or other near-mythical figure.  I’m sure she’ll just love that attention when the time comes.

To my surprise, after Maiko the highlight of the tale all the kids seemed to fixate on was the presence of the chickens on the floating island.  And I guess they were kind of neat in their way.  Alas, the idea of a big fancy old mansion full of chickens is a lot cuter in the telling than the smelly reality.

Speaking of things to say “alas” about, there was more than a little disappointment at us not having brought back any of Priscila’s paintings to show.  That could make for an interesting project though on some future dry season: taking the time to clear and clean up the trail from the docking arch to the mansion so we can bring some of those paintings back to the Village for people to see without getting them snagged and torn along the way on the overgrowth.  Or even fixing up the old mansion in general, now that I think about it.  

All that said, that ragged old doll makes up for the lack of paintings.  I think I mentioned where it came from last rainy season, but being reminded and hearing the story of where it came from lent a new sense of awe as the kids passed it around.  I’m half convinced that thing is some manner of artifact that makes children like it a disproportionate amount.  Or something.  If it is, that’s bittersweet considering Priscilla never had kids but appeared to have wanted one.

Eventually the storm passed and the kids began their daily exodus.  Some leaving on their own.  Others with friends and siblings.  A smaller number with parents or other older relatives that came to pick them up.  Pick them up and make a donation toward my - rather literal - daily bread.

All in all, a slight variation from the usual but still ultimately a day of peaceful mundanity.

<==Previous          Next==>

[tyrannuspitch]

my thoughts on odin's plans not really making sense can be found -> here, but basically boil down to: i hear you, but, idk, neither racism nor child abuse are necessarily rational or tactically sound.

you raise an interesting point re: marrying loki off. i think that could be a strong possibility... but i also think there are some problems with it if we're talking about asgardian royalty specifically.

first of all, there's intersection of gender roles and racism. since m/f relationships are so often understood as a man dominating a woman, relationships between women of an oppressive group and men of an oppressed group tend to be taken as an attack on the oppressive group. especially when the oppressed group in question is stereotyped as violent and barbaric. "we can't let those people get their hands on one of our women!" even in the original norse myths, think of how many stories revolve around the threat of a goddess being married off to a jotun.

this isn't necessarily an insurmountable problem, but i think it's going to be a difficult sell. and it might actually be easier if the asgardian woman in question is not the princess, but a lower-ranked noble. (why do it at all if not to unite the royal families? 1. because odin has adopted loki after all, and 2. so that future jotun royalty will be genetically part-asgardian. see below.)

now. i don't read thorki, even in its "they-were-never-related" forms, but i still have to scroll past it pretty often, so i am aware that there's a pretty popular trope of loki being married off to thor. and that this is also quite fraught with racism-gender intersections, and some people get into discourse about it.

but honestly, intentionally or not, i think this goes some way towards addressing the gender question. if we apply old-norse-inspired homophobia here, this can easily be framed as loki, the prince of the conquered realm, being The Woman in the relationship, and therefore being a) humiliated, perhaps punitively, and b) subjugated enough for asgard not to be too threatened by his presence. at no cost to thor's own masculinity.

(this is assuming, of course, that asgard can put aside the homophobia we've just assigned to it long enough to see this as a legitimate marriage and not just a joke at jotunheim's expense. which is not at all guaranteed.)

but this also raises a new and more serious problem: the blood purity of the heir to the throne of asgard.*

honestly, i think asgard would wrinkle its collective nose at the idea of jotun and asgardian blood mixing anywhere in the asgardian royal family**, but if loki's children are the direct heirs to asgard's thone, it's a much bigger problem. like - we're meant to have defeated these creatures, and now one of them is going to be our next king???

i find it much easier to imagine odin marrying loki to an asgardian with the intention of gradually breeding the jotun element out of the jotun line of succession, than intentionally introducing a jotun element into the asgardian line of succession. and for those acts to be different things, the lines of succession have to remain separate too.

"but lucian!" you cry, "loki is ALREADY a jotun in the asgardian line of succession! what the hell is going on there!"

first of all - i think asgardians in general ARE uncomfortable with loki, even before they know he's jotun. people pick up on the fact that loki is an outsider, and that he is very much not treated at thor's equal, and they decide he's inferior at best, treacherous at worst.

second of all - loki is only the spare. if everything goes according to plan, he never will get the throne. and the moment it looks like things aren't going perfectly to plan, people start suspecting that loki's committing a coup, and rise up to deprive him of what is, under asgardian law, his "rightful" throne. (and it's not just about caring about thor's wellbeing, either: fandral specifically cites "loki on the throne" as a disaster in its own right.)

and in many ways, this is not ideal for odin, because his warriors are mutinying and his representative is being undermined.

but also... i think this is the natural result of the paradox of loki's situation. loki is a prince who is not a prince. loki interacts with people outside the royal family primarily as loki-son-of-odin and loki-brother-of-thor - technically powerful in his own right, but always diminished by his relationship to someone more powerful. thor is quite open about seeing loki as beneath him (talking over him on the bifrost, "know your place", etc***), which i think encourages thor's friends to also surreptitiously treat loki as beneath them... as long as thor is around. once thor's gone, the group dynamic is more tense and less clearly defined.

so asgard learns to put up with loki only as long as he is subordinated to an ideal asgardian who can keep him in line. if he gets too powerful, he's a threat, and asgard must defend itself by putting him back in his place.

basically, ramblings aside - given the level of space racism we see from asgard, i don't think they can find a way to marry loki into their royal family that doesn't somehow pollute their family. he might get away with marriage to a non-royal asgardian, but even that is questionable. asgardian wife? he's a threat. asgardian husband? he's a laughing stock.

so i think adoption is, and always would have been, the main way that loki is asgardian-ised and that asgard lays claim to his inheritance. and i think it's really interesting that it works that way, because, as you say, it's not the normal way that royal families consolidate their power.

but it does work in a story that is primarily about family, far more than sex/romance/marriage. and imperialism being enforced through a parent-child and sibling relationships make for very interesting and specific story.

*i'm bypassing the reproductive compatibility question for now. they're magical aliens. they'll work something out.

**this is of course assuming that we're not thinking of odin as having a jotun mother, as he does in the myths, because that sets off a domino effect, because *everyone* is related to the jotuns in the myths. which i guess could potentially be interesting in an mcu context, but is also kind of absurd. i don't think mcu loki's story works unless he is in some way genuinely different.

***which is not to imply that thor doesn't like, love, or care about his brother - just that their overall family dynamic is an incredible mess, and thor's lack of respect for loki is, IMO, a key element of it.

god it's only just occurred to me that loki trying to destroy jotunheim is not just about like. any amount of murder. it's about the fact that he very recently learnt that odin had been planning to send him away since he was a baby. he wants to destroy the actual, physical planet of jotunheim so that odin cannot effectively exile him there. thor has been exiled as a punishment but exile was meant to be loki's destiny and best-case scenario. on a planet he only knows as a world of monsters whose king tried to murder him as a baby. :(!!!

[fanimesenseiwrites]

Things the MC would bring back to their demon bois from the mortal realm:

Lucifer:

MC goes to second hand stores and vintage shops always on the look out for vinyl records that they think Lucifer would like.

Most of the time they try and bring back stuff he'd actually like, such as Tchaikovsky or Vivaldi

Once, they brought back Stravinsky's Firebird Suite and Lucifer wouldn't stop kissing them (once they were in the privacy of his room of course)

Sometimes the MC will bring back more modern music just because it makes them think of him

"I dunno, I just listen to Hozier and think of you"

Lucifer doesn't like all the modern music they bring back but he appreciates the sentiment just the same

Then there's the gag gifts...

Any kind of music that has a reference to the devil or Satan or hell is fair game

These gifts usually elicit an eye roll from the eldest brother but he keeps them all the same

This is why Lucifer owns a copy of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia"

So when MC brings back a copy of Giuseppe Tartini's Violin Sonata in G minor, they're a little surprised at Lucifer's delighted reaction

"You know, I was the one who visited Tartini in his dreams."

MC's mind = blown.

"Also, this copy is cursed. I know you know how much I enjoy cursed vinyls."

"I- wait... What?!"

MC is very upset that they had a cursed vinyl in their possession this whole time

Mammon:

This boy loves stuff, and he loves MC, so he's gonna love any gift really

But MC knows he loves treasure and jewels and as much as they'd love to just bring him back nice watches and jewelery...

MONEY IS A THING, AND MC IS NOT MADE OF IT.

So MC settles for semi-precious stones instead

They always find fun and beautiful stones at museums and those metaphysical stores and they always pick out one that reminds them of Mammon

They're really nervous when they give him his first gift

"Hey, I got this for you and I know it's not fancy or expensive but I saw it and thought of you and I just wanted you to have it."

Mammon will love them until they die. He is really just so touched that MC thought of him. He'll try and play it cool though

He totally fails. MC won't tell him that though

MC brings him Lapis Lazuli and tells him it reminded them of his eyes and Mammon is now a puddle of lovesick goo on the floor

Mammon puts more shelves in his room dedicated to all the gifts MC gives him

One time MC brings him back some fool's gold in a teeny little jar on a chain, so that he can wear it

"Fool's gold? Why cuz I'm a fool?" Mammon asks with a roll of his eyes.

"What? No, cuz I'm a fool for you."

Mammon only love MC until they die? WRONG.

He's gonna love them forever now

He was gonna do that anyways

Leviathan:

C'mon, this boy is easy. Anime/manga stuff and TSL. Need I say more?

At first he'll be suspicious of MC wanting to give him gifts, but once they've convinced him that they're doing it out of the kindness of their heart he's really touched

The first thing the MC brings him is a pen with a little Ruri-Chan on the end of it

"I know it's not much, but I just happened to see it and I knew you'd like it"

Like it??????

HE LOVES IT! HE'S OVER THE GODDAMM MOON.

He's never seen anything like this in the Devildom and he doesn't think about the small stuff usually because he's too busy trying to get the big collectors edition items. So he actually really loves this.

MC continues to bring him cute small stuff like buttons and keychains and Levi loves them all.

His favorite item(s) that MC brought him is a pair of Lord of Shadows and Henry BFF enamel pins

He definitely tackle hugged MC when he got them

He gives the Lord of Shadows pin back to MC so they can each have one and show off their BFF status with them

Satan:

MC loves going to second-hand bookstores to shop for Satan.

Satan also appreciates new books, but there's something special about how his face lights up when he finds something old or rare. Anything with a little bit of history to it.

Of course, finding rare books for not a lot of money is a rare event in itself

So a safe bet is to bring Satan non-fiction, the boy loves to learn

But he really loves it when MC puts thought into finding fiction books that he would like

"I just really feel like you'd like Dean Koontz so I brought you one of my favorites by him."

Satan loves those gifts the most because he can talk to MC about the books afterwards

Satan's absolute favourite gift is a leather bound copy of Arabian Nights though

"I was thinking we could read this one together"

"Like you read it to me and pretend to be Scheherazade?" Satan suggests.

MC is flustered at the connotation of the suggestion but agrees anyways

The time they spend together reading that story will forever be one of Satan's favorite memories

Asmodeus:

He's a little harder to shop for than the MC had originally imagined

They tried bringing him make-up and skin care, which Asmo always graciously accepted, but he never seemed super excited about the gifts

But what else is to be expected from the guy who already uses only the best products?

MC suddenly gets an idea when they send Asmo a selfie of them at the park

- OMG! You're so cute! And the background is pretty too!-

MC starts dressing up and going to nice and beautiful places just with the intention of taking pictures

Botanical Gardens, museums, downtown skylines, anything that would make for a good picture

MC goes full on aesthetic art hoe just for Asmo

Only the best pictures get sent to Asmo

Asmo is LIVING for the looks their MC is serving up

- You are absolutely STUNNING! I'm in awe at these AMAZING pictures-

MC makes a scrapbook of the best pictures to give to Asmo the next time they see him

Asmo loves it and keeps it on display in his room always

Also, Asmo definitely makes MC their personal photographer after seeing the wonderful shots they took

Beelzebub:

Obviously, the boy loves food. He's always down to try new snacks from the mortal realm.

But MC wonders if there's something better that they could bring him

One day MC is at GNC for supplements for themself when they notice the workout supplements and get an idea

They grab some fun flavored protein powder and some BCAAs and a really nice shaker bottle just for Beel

Beel is actually really excited to get these gifts!

The Devildom doesn't have fun flavors of protein powder and the shaker bottle is such a great idea!

MC always brings new flavors of protein back for Beel, doing their best to find the weirdest flavors for him to try

Beel's favorite is definitely Birthday Cake.

MC starts bringing him new stuff to try too, protein bars, recovery supplements, collagen, and superfoods shakes

Beel tries everything and tells MC what their favorites are

"I love the BCAAs, I just wish the Devildom had them..." *sad Beel noises*

MC may or may not talk to Diavolo about researching BCAAs and getting them produced and sold in the Devildom

The supplements MC brings actually help Beel with his workouts and to control his hunger (a little)

Beel actually gets hotter??? Who knew that was possible???

MC definitely takes advantage of Beel's new 8-pack 😏😏😏

Belphegor:

What do you get the boy who only wants to sleep?

MC has gotten him stuffed animals and blankets and even a couple of nice pillows, but nothing seems to excite him

... but maybe that's just his personality??

It's not until MC accidentally leaves a sweater in the Devildom, that they figure it out

- You left your sweater down here- Belphie texts MC.

- Oh no, I'll just get when I come to visit y'all again-

- That's fine. I like having something that smells like you-

And the light bulb went off in MC's head.

Every time MC goes to visit they leave a shirt or sweater behind for Belphie, so that he can have something that smells like them.

Belphie loves how MC smells, its like a sweet dream all the time. It helps him sleep better when they're gone.

Belphie starts to complain when MC is gone longer than the item they left smells like them

(Which is every time)

So MC will start leaving Belphie more than one item, packing them in airtight bags so he can use them one after another until they return

Belphie can and will fight anyone who tries to take MC's clothing

"Mammon, you have two seconds to put that sweater back or I will kill you."

And Lucifer probably won't stop him

Diavolo:

He's honestly the easiest to please.

He's so fascinated with any thing that humans do that he'll enjoy any gift from the human world.

MC's first gift to him is a rubber duck.

"The duck is wearing a crown so it made me think of you and I just thought it was cute."

"I love it! What's its purpose?"

"Uh... to float around in the bathtub with you and look cute?"

"Isn't that what you're for?"

Diavolo loves the rubber duck so much it gets his own silk pillow to rest on when it's not taking a bath with Diavolo.

MC brings him cute pens, and keychains sometimes bottles of wine if the bottle is cute.

"The bottle is shaped like a cat! Isn't that delightful?!"

MC's proudest moment was when they found a full and intact tea set at the thrift store

Diavolo immediately fell in love with it.

He insists on only using that set when having tea with MC

But his favorite gift will always be the rubber duck.

Barbatos:

He'll insist that he doesn't need any gifts but that won't stop the MC.

MC is with him in the kitchen in the Demon Lord's Palace when they get an idea.

KITCHEN TOYS.

Barbatos works so hard, he deserves some things to make his life easier and liven up the bland kitchen

MC's first gift is a vegetable spiralizer.

"You use it to turn zucchini and squash and the like into noodles so that you can do fun stuff with vegetables!"

Barbatos accepts it graciously, but he'll probably never use it.

MC brings him spices from the mortal realm and Barbatos actually really loves those.

When MC brings him a food processor, he offers to cook for them right then and there

Despite all the weird gadgets MC ends up bringing him, and there are plenty out there, Barbatos's favorite is a ladle that looks like a stegosaurus.

It's far more whimsical than anything he would've ever picked out, and he'll never use it, but only because he's afraid of ruining it, not because he doesn't love it.

At some point, Barbatos does ask MC to stop bringing him kitchen gadgets

"Why? Do you not like them?" MC asks with a pout.

"I appreciate all of them, but I have everything I need when you're in the kitchen with me."

If MC wasn't already in love with him they are now

Smooth bastard just doesn't want anymore shit in his kitchen

[sortofanobsession]

hellooo previous anon asker here!

the story takes place in the first season (could be continued to the other seasons if you’d like) frenemies to lovers trope, reader goes by she/her pronouns and is also latina and part of the umbrella academy and the story alters through 3rd and 1st person pov? essentially she’s a badass and is besties with klaus and five? I don’t really know what a good power would be so you can have creative liberty with that. hopefully this was enough details, thanks! <3

Author's Note: I can very much work with this. I'm still working on a plot outline but here is the establishing info for the story. But before we get into that please keep a few things in mind...

The power set was initially a hang up for me, so many different fics uses various power sets and I didn't want to accidently be too similar. But I think I came up with something not used as often in fics with supers. I have been listening to some Lore podcasts and while trying to figure out what type of powers the team somewhat lacked I got an idea. The Lore episode alluring details ghost lights and it seemed like a decent place to start and if you have read my writing you know I looooove folklore and mythologies. It also plays off, in a way, an idea I had back when season 1 was airing. I'm Caucasian of European decent, so please forgive any cultural confusion. I am not of Hispanic decent and really not trying to disrespect anyone. If anyone is willing to help with this aspect I would greatly appreciate it.

I really hope this is sort of what you were looking for.

Please note that since this is season 1 I will be using Vanya for Viktor. I fully support Elliot Page and have major respect for the show's writers for working a transition into the character Elliot portrays. I love how they handled in the show. But for sake of "canon" I use Vanya for now. BUT if you all would prefer I use Viktor and male pronouns let me know. I'm human and far from perfect, so I am always willing to listen and learn. I support all members of the LGBTQ+ community. I love and respect all my readers, but I do not tolerate hate so be nice in the replies, please.

Minors DNI

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader

Part 1 of a new WIP Series.

Series Masterlist

Content Warning: Canon typical neglect, violence, death, depression, anxiety

Will o' The Wisp

Chapter 1: #8-The Wisp

Her powers are that she can create a being of pure light and seemingly energy, separate from her own entity. It started as a flickering ball of light. Pogo had said the faint light was like the Will o' the Wisp in old English folklore. But she would go on to learn that most cultures had phantom lights. The name Wisp stuck, but the light didn't stay small or weak for long. Sir Reginald Hargreeves trained her to give it form and capable of independent motion. She gave it a humanoid form to make it easier to manipulate when she took it over. But more often than not, she lets it clings to her like an inverse shadow. She eventually found that she could split her consciousness and control it. Something her father would push her to explore. She can will it in and out of existence, but it still sort of radiates from her if she doesn't give it an external form. It gives her an ethereal glow when it doesn't have its own form. She can weaponize the light in multiple ways. She can use it to blind opponents. It can temporarily stun and disorient someone. She can use it as a projectile. She can also use it to fight as multiple beings, something she tries to limit because fragmenting one's psyche can be both disorienting and unnerving. 

Her siblings had stuck with the Will o' the Wisp idea and jokingly called her Will, but she preferred the name Y/N that Mom helped her pick. They initially called the light entity Wisp due to a lack of creativity. Then they got more "creative", calling it her shining stalker, bright bugger, and many other weird and rude names. She would remind them it wasn't a sentient being. It only became so when she was the conscious one controlling it. And tell them they were just jealous they couldn't be in two places at once. 

Her arguments with Diego were usually more direct.

"You're just jealous I never run out of weapons or have to retrieve them," she would tease when Diego would start to bug her about it.

"At least I can blend into a crowd," Diego would shoot back. "You stick out like a glow stick even when your stalker isn't burning its image into people's retinas."

"And yet, they still like us more," she would shrug and guide her glowing glimmer to do the same, making it seem more like a twin or a doppelganger as she does. 

She had two siblings that were drawn to her by her light. They would cling to the light as the light clung to her. Ben and Klaus. Ben, because the warm light helped cancel out the cold darkness his powers seemed to bring with them. Klaus, because despite the ghost light jokes, her light actually helped keep his ghosts and demons at bay. It would remind him he wasn't in the dark mausoleum that their father would lock him in. So it wasn't unusual for one or both of them to hide from nightmares in her room. She didn't mind. If it helped them, she'd do it, even if Sir Reginald didn't approve. That was what they had their powers for, wasn't it? Helping people, being heroes, wasn’t that what they were supposed to do? For her, part of that meant putting up with Klaus drooling or Ben mumbling in his sleep. 

Her other siblings mostly liked or at least tolerated her, other than Diego. Diego liked to argue with her almost as much as he did Luther. He often called her la bruja after the witch lights that taunt and trick people. Luther and Allison had told her he was probably just jealous that Y/N has useful powers. He is jealous that she has successfully molded her powers the way their father wanted her to. They told her she was as good at what she could do as they were, which was what pissed him off.

Luther didn't mind her as long as she followed orders and did her training. He liked her well enough, but she wasn't Allison. Allison liked having another sister with powers, but she wanted attention more, and since Luther was happy to give it to her, Allison spent most of her time with him. Y/N and Vanya got along well enough, but Klaus would usually drag Y/N and often Ben off on a whim and rarely left much time for the seventh sibling. 

Y/N and Five liked to challenge each other. It was a playful rivalry, unlike Luther and Diego. She and Five would see who could get somewhere faster, him or her speed of light Wisp. They would race, push each other, and make each other faster and more focused. They'd take turns critiquing their techniques as they trained and just genuinely got along. They could be competitive and still be companions. The competitions made them both better. They thrived due to their competitiveness but always ended the day as equals. 

A few days after Five vanished and failed to return, Vanya had come to her. Vanya was always observant, despite the neglect she suffered. Vanya had noticed how the Wisp wasn't out as much. The ethereal glow around her sister was dimmer, darker, it was less like a warm candle and more like the pilot light on a stove or a heater. A deeper, almost blue core to it. Blue as if tainted with her melancholy. And when the Wisp was out, usually in training or at their father's insistence, it was less of vibrant sunshine at high noon or a beautiful yet powerful sunrise. But more harsh like a wildfire flame at night. They had talked, cried, and missed their brother. Vanya gave her sister a sad smile the following day at breakfast. Happy that her sister's glow had warm colors back in it, but it still lacked some of the vibrancy it once had. 

The blue tinge returned and deepened after Ben died. The Wisp was now a being of blue light that clung to her as the loss clung to her soul. People found it eerie and ghost-like, a more authentic Will o’ the Wisp. But when she took it over, the Wisp was more like a vengeful house fire than a being of sunlight. It was unsettling. Sir Reginald had insisted she cease it at once. So she would will it to be different at times, but it always looked off. She would think more of the ghost light stories, the darker ones. The witch lights, or even luz mala or La Candileja. Maybe those were more accurate these days, a bad omen. 

When the Umbrella Academy drifted apart, she had moved to a small rental home in the suburbs. She found work in a local shop. Somewhere her glowing companion wouldn't bother anyone.

Klaus would drop by when he had nowhere to crash or needed general necessities. She would check in with Vanya and Pogo every week or so, but it was mostly solitary existence. After Vanya's book was published, she would catch her neighbors staring. They would keep their distance. Although a nice older woman named Joan who lived down the street would often stop by on walks with her dog. She was a fan of Allison's movies and was always happy to hear the stories the book didn't tell. She was the only person that didn't seem to think that her powers made her weird. Or at least she didn't think they were weird in a bad way. 

But it all changed when she was notified about the death of Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

[separatist-apologist]

Lucien Vanserra + The Villain Theory & Why the Mating Bond Is Not Fake

I've been thinking about this for a while and I've decided I want to debunk this because of all the *insert character that is definitely not the villain becoming a secret villain*, Lucien is most definitely not it.

The theory, according to tiktok, is that Lucien is a secret schemer who has tricked everyone, including Elain, into believing they are mates for undefined, suspicious reasons likely related to Koschei. I find this unlikely considering his "father" is ALSO scheming with Koschei and Lucien likely has some awareness of this considering how often Eris is suddenly hanging around.

This is so long. Everything is under the cut.

However, lets pretend he doesn't. There is consistent, contextual proof that Lucien a) could not make up a mating bond even if he wanted to and b) everyone would know if he had.

Starting in ACOTAR, Tamlin tells Feyre the story of Lucien. On page 160, Tamlin says:

"Lucien said he didn't care she wasn't one of the High Fae, that he was certain the mating bond would snap soon and that he was going to marry her and leave his father's court to his scheming brothers."

Followed up on page 161, Tamlin adds:

"...his father has never apologized and his brothers are too frightened of me to risk harming him. But he has never forgotten what they did to her...even if he pretends he has."

That's ACOTAR. I know SJM likes to change things on a whim, but foundationally, this is Lucien's character and across all five books, it never changes. Lucien is still haunted by Jesminda and the mating bond he lost. He firmly believes, if we believe Tamlin to be a reliable narrator (and we should, as Lucien backs Tamlin's opinion up in his private thoughts. It is also worth noting that if Lucien has a villain origin story, it begins right here, the moment his father beheads Jesminda. To assume he's the villain, we ought to believe that he's been scheming non-stop for at least 200 years (since he's like, 300ish?) and to what end? To kill Beron? He'd have been scheming far longer than Elain was alive.

Moving right along to ACOMAF, on page 619, Amren says:

"And the bond," Amren breathed, Cassian's blood shining on her hands as she slowed its dribbling.

Mor said, "She asked the king to break the bond. He obliged."

I thought I might be dying- thought my chest might actually be cleaved in two.

"Thats impossible," Amren said. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"The kind said he could do it."

"The king is a fool," Amren barked. "That sort of bond cannot be broken."

"No, it can't," I said.

This is from Rhys' perspective. A mating bond can't be broken with magic- it's forever. Even rejected or in death (we'll get there), the mating bond is for life. Assuming Lucien's mate was Jesminda, even if it hadn't snapped in death, she would STILL be his mate and death would not have changed that. Neither would any magic Lucien, a spell-cleaver, might possess.

Let's also consider Elain, who has no reason to lie and every reason to call Lucien out regarding the bond. In ACOMAF, page 608, we see this:

"...Elain was staring over Nesta's shoulder. At Lucien-whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one of russet and one of metal. Nesta was still weeping, still raging, still inspecting Elain-

Lucien's hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, "You're my mate."

It's Elain who sees him first, who feels the mating bond mere seconds before Lucien. Why choose Elain, if you're going to pick a fake mate for your scheme? The argument is generally that she has the least amount of knowledge about Faeries and no interest in that education but how would Lucien know that? Feyre told Lucien nothing about her sisters (she told Ianthe instead), which means he would have had to guess. Given that Elain fights being put in the Cauldron, there's nothing contextually in that moment that suggests that Lucien somehow knew she was the easier sister to fool.

It's also worth noting that Lucien, up until that moment, still genuinely believes Jesminda was his mate. If he's the villain, having a fake mate makes no sense to the story or his plans.

Feyre has been inside Lucien's mind twice. Once in ACOMAF (pg. 95):

"Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless-"

And again in ACOWAR when Lucien meets Elain for the first time. On page 249, we get the best description of what Lucien is feeling regarding the mating bond, all through Feyre's perspective:

"Too thin. She must not be eating at all. How can she even stand?

The thoughts flowed through his head, one after another. His heart was a raging, thunderous beat, and he didn't dare move from his position a mere five feet away. She hadn't yet turned toward him, but the ravages of her fasting were evident enough.

Touch her, smell her, taste her-

The instincts were running a river. he fisted his hands at his sides."

"But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda."

"Elain had been...thrown at him."

"That circle of people who now claimed to be Feyre's new family...It was what, long ago, he'd once thought life at Tamlin's court would be. An ache like a blow to the chest went through him, but he crossed the rug."

"But he couldn't breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He'd said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the senses chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours."

"She looked away- towards the windows. 'I can hear your heart,' she said quietly. He wasn't sure how to respond, so he said nothing and drained his tea even as it burned his mouth.

'When I sleep,' she murmured, 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. 'Can you hear mine?'

He wasn't sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, 'No, lady. I cannot.'"

These are Lucien's thoughts from Feyre's perspective. He has no idea she's in his head, so why is he thinking all those things? Why feel guilt that he finds her beautiful or that he'd once said all the same things to Jesminda that he thinks about Elain? Why care about her well-being? We know mates are driven to protect and Lucien's very first thoughts about Elain are ones of concern. She's not eating, she's too thin, how can she possibly stand? Not, hahaah my evil planned worked and I totally have an in with the Night Court (which, why would he need considering Tamlin is currently allied with Hybern and Lucien could have taken full advantage of that?).

Additionally, assuming Lucien is faking the mating bond for some poorly defined, evil plot, why keep such distance? Why not force himself on her? That's the claim, right? That he's forcing her to be with him which is amusing because in ACOFAS, Lucien has some thoughts on page 162"

"'How is she?'

'Better. She makes no mention of her abilities. If they remain.'

'Good. But is she still...' A muscle flickered in his jaw. 'Does she still mourn him?'"

First question he asks. "How is she?" Followed by if she's still in love with her ex-fiance. And I can hear the screaming now, "HE ASKED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO OWN HER" but like, on page 165 of ACOFAS, we get:

"I can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes."

Truly a stupid plan to fake a mating bond with a person that is causing you to be eaten alive with guilt and longing. We know the second he's around her, Lucien's is overwhelmed with the mating instincts and feels guilt over Jesminda, which is why he spends little time around Elain. He also tells Feyre, on that same page, he doesn't want his life to be financed by Rhysand. Feyre practically begs Lucien to move back to Velaris, to work for her full time, to let her set him up somewhere nicer and Lucien declines it all. If his plan hinged on getting closer to the IC, to using Rhys' resources, why tell her no? Why not take her up on it? Why not make him part of her life in a much more tangible way?

And finally, the dreaded scent of the mating bond. Feyre doesn't risk talking to Rhys when she's in Spring for fear of alerting everyone to the scent of the bond. Azriel, too, cannot stand the smell of it to the point he stands in the doorway during solstice rather than come in.

Ladies, Gentleman, and Non-binary pals of the jury, examine the evidence. For Lucien to be a villain, he has to KNOW that Feyre is a daemati before she does and both leave his thoughts unguarded while constantly assuming she MIGHT be picking through them. He also has to be able to control large amounts of people at the same time via the smell of the bond and Elain being able to feel it. When he tugs, she responds.

It would require everyone around them to be incredibly dumb. Feyre and Rhys basically share a mind and while they don't necessarily trust Lucien (unfairly imo), I firmly believe one of them would have picked up on a fake bond or Lucien's scheming.

Lucien wanted Jesminda, not Elain. If he decided to punish the world around him for the consistent pain he was enduring, he doesn't need Elain to achieve this. He's friends with Feyre. He has contacts all over Prythian. He didn't need to fake a mating bond, nor does it make any sense to do so. What they have is REAL.

And lastly, the bond can't be broken. Rejected, yes, broken no. Regardless if you think they'll keep it or not, they ARE mates and Lucien is NOT the villain who will be heroically slaughtered. They're awkward, they're uncomfortable, they have shit to work out but they ARE mates, and Lucien has proven over and over that all he wants is a home and goddamn peace and quiet.

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette Changes Schools: A funny little Lila salt prompt

So, there are a lot of ‘Marinette changes schools’ au’s and I love a whole bunch of them don't get me wrong. BUT the one thing I haven’t seen yet is Marinette changing schools not because of Lila or salt but simply because her parents are moving and they want her to attend a school close to home. So without further ado let me sell you on my little idea: 

Lila has been plotting weeks worth of plans and lies, she’s thought up some sob stories about being stalked, about near death experiences, about celebrities that are like her family. She has plans for Marinette all the ways she could make the girl look bad and all the ways she could force Adrien to see her. That all goes out the window one day when she gets to school and it's a sob fest. There is a clear air of dread and dismay, the blue skies she saw on the way to school replaced with heavy storm clouds. And when she gets to class it's worse. Marinette and Alya are hugging and crying, Adrien looks like he's been shot, Nino and Kim are demanding to know ‘why’ even Chloe looks upset, her blue eyes a little glassy. Lila quickly learns why, Marinette’s parents' business is doing GREAT so great in fact that they have decided to open a second location! The twist? They also decided to move INTO the new location and with it being on the other side of Paris and her parents fears for their daughters safety that means Marinette is moving to a new school!

Now Lila doesn’t even have to school her face into a practiced expression of shock. She genuinely is shocked here she’d been planning months in advance picturing the ways she would destroy her rivals life and steal her friends! And now just like that Marinette is MOVING? Of course Lila quickly decides this is a good thing! After all if Marinette is out of the picture ruling the school will be that much easier. Sure Chloe might be queen bee but with Marinette gone people will be looking to replace her! In walks Lila Rossi, a gorgeous upstart model with a heart of gold and connections coming out of her bangs! She’d rule the school and Adrien would fall for her, then Marinette would probably come crawling back desperate for her old friends only to learn she’d snatched them all up! It was brilliant! And with Marinette gone she could probably do it in record time! So Lila covers up her smirk and says she’s devastated to hear that the twin tailed girl would be leaving and begins plotting.

In the month that follows Lila leaves Marinette alone letting her have her friends for what would be for the last time. After all if everyone still loved the designer when she left they’d be all the more eager to replace her with a new and better version. Of course just because Lila is playing nice doesn’t mean she enjoys it. Alya is practically glued to the girl and ignores Lila even when she’s not trying to sabotage Marinette. Adrien is acting like his life is ending and all anyone will talk about is Marinette. When she checks social media it's all just pictures of ‘old-great times with Marinette’ or new photos and videos of helping the girl pack up and move into her new room, which Lila seethes about for a week when she sees the photos of the spacious luxurious room with a private bath. Apparently the Dupain-Cheng’s new bakery was in a pretty ritzy rich neighborhood. During school Marinette is mobbed by a constant stream of people begging her to stay and when they accept that not happening they all at least beg her to ‘come back and visit’ Marinette promises and Lila has to hide her snort. Fat chance of that actually happening. 

Finally the last day arrives and Lila has to hold back the urge to gag as everyone fills the nearby park giving Marinette gifts and heartfelt goodbyes. Adrien is the last one to offer his gift and Lila seethes as Marinette gingerly opens the box with a gasp and pulls out two brand new pink hair ribbons, and Adrien goes on to say that they’re made of imported silk! SILK, as if the little baker brat deserved silk! The whole exchange is cliche and romantic as Marinette removes her current hair ribbons to tie in the new ones and Adrien ties the old ones around his wrist like some idiot who doesn’t realize what a love struck longing look he's giving his ‘good friend’. But Lila just keeps reminding herself its just a bit longer and sure enough not long after the hideously gooey exchange between Adrien and Marinette is over the designer is leaving with more tears and farewells. FINALLY Lila thinks she can get back to what matters! Ruling her empire.

As it turns out ruling her empire is not what she thinks. For the first month after Marinette leaves all anyone will talk about is the photos she’s posted online. The first week its ALL about HER new school is a private well known academy with uniforms, and isn't Marinette cute in it? And look at her in her custom black kitty thigh highs? Lila wants to scream, but not as much as when she catches Adrien drooling over the photo of said thigh highs and twirling the old nasty hair ribbons around his wrist. The second week its all about the video tour of her new home and school that Marinette sent Alya. Lila glares the whole time as Alya puts the video on the projector at lunch so everyone can see the big new gorgeous bakery and the beautiful house on the second floor and her stupid big bedroom that should belong to someone like herself and not some bratty bakers daughter! By the third week Lila has had enough and fakes some nasty texts from Marinette hoping to speed up the process of helping her classmates move on to HERSELF. It backfires spectacularly with Alya going on the warpath to learn who would dare frame Marinette now that she’s gone. Lila is starting to realize that somehow Marinette has reached a higher level of popularity now that she’s gone. But she reminds herself it won't last forever that in ‘just a little bit longer’ everyone will forget the baker. Right?

A little bit longer. Never happens. Lila asks the girls to hang out that weekend with plans of winning them over with some juicy celeb story? Alya says they all already made plans to hope aboard the train to spend the whole weekend at Marinette’s new place! Lila tries to corner Adrien into a date after a photo shoot. He disappears and all she hears from the workers on set is that he's been looking up some new bakery on the other side of town. [Marinette is suddenly being visited by Chat Noir every other night but she figures she must have moved closer to where his civilian self lives if hes dropping by so much.] She tries to throw a party for the class? They can't. Marinette will be coming out to the park today! With her new school friends!

AH HA! Lila see’s opportunity and decides to tag along. After all if Marinette has new friends Lila can twist it! She’ll whisper about her replacing them all! Make them hate Marinette’s new friends! Fill them with jealousy till they hate Marinette! It's BRILLIANT! And, it fails in less than two minutes, with Alya learning about Aurore being a ballet dancer and the two girls bonding over their mutual love of DANCE?? How the heck was Lila supposed to know Alya had been a champion ballet dancer in her younger years! Then Nino is bonding with some kid named Allen or whatever about classical vs modern music and how to blend the two! And some kid named Claude is joking with Kim, Max, and Alix! And this is definitely not how things were supposed to go!

The worst part is Adrien, who is passive aggressively fighting for Marinette against Kagami AND Felix who are both all too eager to show how ‘close’ they’ve gotten to the baker's daughter while Adrien’s been across the city. Kagami is all to happy to show off that she ALSO bought Marinette some new silk hair ribbons [in a red shade that happens to match her fencing uniform] while Felix eagerly wisks Marinette away the moment Kagami and Adrien are distracted the two fencers find him openly flirting with an oblivious Marinette her hair down because ‘oh felix was nice enough to help me get some leaves out of my hair and said i should leave it like this!’ [while both Kagami and Adrien agree she looks beyond cute they know this means war.] Needless to say Lila didn’t realize that Marinette was that damn popular with men and woman.

The week after the meet up Lila is worn so thin she’s ready to snap. Not only did the class not get jealous but they actually became FRIENDS with all of Marinette’s new buddies and were planning many more meet ups including a paintball war over the baker girl that saturday. Adrien had taken to openly mumbling to himself about changing schools and how he ‘cant believe’ his own flesh and blood would so openly flirt with HIS very good friend! And what was with Kagami showing off how easily she can pick up and carry Marinette? And why did she invite Marinette to watch their next tournament! He needed to train, what if he lost?? In front of Marinette?! And then she thought he was too weak to keep her safe like all good friends are supposed to do! Clearly Kagami was trying to replace him as Marinette’s very good friend! Poor Nino who was sitting next to the boy had actually volunteered to switch with Lila but she came up with a lie to avoid it, she’d had enough of hearing about Marinette from Alya and Juleka and the rest of the girls, she didn’t also need to hear it from Adrien! 

It all comes to a head that Saturday during the paintball tournament when Lila now at her wits end her plans out the window her schemes barely thought out hopes to find something ANYTHING to ruin Marinette’s day and reputation and everything. But Lila just so happens to get completely pelted with paintballs everytime she so much as moves and then later gets ignored when trying to wow Marinette’s new friends, and then gets called out by Felix and Kagami snaps and finally she snaps and SCREAMS and runs off and not even a dark little butterfly comes to help her ruin the perfect day. As it turns out Hawkmoth was a little preoccupied with trying to save his business after all the computers and data involved in his precise scheduling were mysteriously corrupted suddenly freeing up his son's time and schedule so he could spend more with HIS very good friend and no one else's. Kagami and Felix apparently had the same idea as when he gets to her new house their already their doing their best to get on her parents good side.

Basically just give me some comedic, fluffy, Lila salty, Marinette changes school fics. Because I love them ok.

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