#and that a little more of the lotr fandom is paying attention to him now whereas his tag used to be just tumbleweeds a few years ago

[eomer]

.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

also, like, "just stop giving them attention" doesn't work for con artists, which is what James is. they thrive off of people not knowing who they are, because then they can con those people, and you can't ever stop spreading that awareness because there will always be people who are only just stumbling across him now and don't know the history.

like, okay, look at Andy Blake/thanfiction. this is a guy who keeps running the same scam – trying to be fandom famous by pretending to be some kind of creative wunderkind and also, for some reason, starting cults centered around him – over and over again. he's done it in multiple fandoms, most notably LOTR and Harry Potter.

and for a long time, no one put together that "the LOTR hobbit cult guy" and the "Harry Potter fanfic cult guy" were the same person, because why would they? the anonymity of the internet and him coming up with wildly different backstories for both personas made connecting the two very difficult, even if you had somehow been present in both of those little fandom niches (which most people weren't - you could have been an avid LOTR and Harry Potter fan and never heard of either incident because of how massive those fandoms were).

BUT. fast forward to 2018. at this point he has not only run two cults and scammed people out of a lot of money and emotional energy, but there are now whole blogs devoted to debunking his many, many lies. he tries to worm his way into a friend group and discloses that he had "some mental health issues in the past" that caused some "fandom drama," without specifying that he was a fucking cult leader, abuser, and self-admitted rapist.

and at first it worked... until one of the friends Googled his name and found out exactly what he hadn't been telling them. they immediately kicked him to the curb after that, because, uh, this is a guy who starts cults? and abuses people?? and is a literal con artist, including a conviction for fucking charity fraud??? none of which they'd have known if there weren't people actively discussing him and making sure he didn't try to resurface and pull another scam again.

so now let's look at James. so far, he has:

started two scams – his Youtube channel and Telos, which I count as separate because some people donated to one but not the other – to con people out of thousands upon thousands of actual real-life money. not just attention and adoration and being treated like an authority and a celebrity – though he clearly wants that too – but, like, actual money.

used his "apologies"/"attempts to make amends" to try to get more money (ex: monetizing his second apology video)

changed his online handles multiple times to try to distance himself from Hbomb's video

created multiple sockpuppet accounts to argue on his behalf and post plagiarized nudes

created a fake linkedin for himself under a false name with almost certainly fake credentials and experience

attempted to rebrand his con on tiktok, where people might not have been exposed to the Hbomb video as much as on Youtube

and he's done all of this without ever once paying back any of the people he stole from or fully acknowledging what he did wrong.

there are always going to be people who, for whatever reason, will be unfamiliar with him, even if it's solely because they only just became old enough to be on the internet independently (remember, a lot of his followers were very young queer people who weren't familiar with actual queer media criticism and history). the only way to counteract that is to blow the whistle whenever he tries to start a new con.

if he does literally anything else with his life, then yeah, he should be ignored. if he gets a job at Tim Horton's, no one needs to go up to his manager and be like, "You need to fire this man, he's an internet con artist!" if he's only making Timbits, not plagiarized video essays.

but if he tries to start a new con – and, to be clear, he has ALREADY tried to establish a new online presence to gain followers WITHIN LIKE TWO MONTHS OF HIS FAKE SUICIDE ATTEMPT – then "oh, just ignore him" doesn't work. because there are going to be people who don't know to ignore him, and won't know he's bad news unless they see someone else blowing the whistle.

Okay but like he's not working as a video essayist anymore though. He was trying to rebrand on tiktok and the "free advertising" the "Online Leftist Discourse Industrial Complex" gave him made him stop doing that. It's because people keep pointing out that he lied and scammed people that he's not currently lying and scamming people on youtube and tiktok.

On the hbomberguy subreddit there's a weekly thread talking about good youtubers that aren't as famous. It's a weekly thread that's trying to give attention to people with less clout in their community who do deserve that attention. They've been doing that for months. By contrast, they spent five months NOT talking about James Somerton until they found out that 1) he was trying to go back to tiktok, 2) also he was never sorry about plagiarism, and 3) he was absolutely manipulating people with that suicide note.

I know that some people out there consider all criticism a personal and hateful attack, but do you maybe think there's a reason why The Left™ chose to show that this specific guy had two alt accounts? Do you think they chose to show the tweets in which he goes "plagiarism and lies are no big deal, stop being angry about it," "if plagiarism and lies are a big deal then his cowriter did it," and "you people made him kill himself" for some reason? Do you think it may have something to do with him trying to rebrand on tiktok after he wrote a suicide note that made a bunch of people call the people who accused him of plagiarism and lying of being murderers?

[space-blue]

Dune, the mostly spoiler free review.

Spoilers will be under breaks.

Having slept on it (and since I got to bed at 4am I needed that), and having eaten enough sugar to kickstart my brain again, I can now confirm, wholeheartedly, that Dune is a masterpiece.

Hardly a hot take on the internet right now, I know. I'll say this, to start on a low note : Dune's greatest flaw is that the side characters (anyone outside of Jessica and Paul) can be left wanting development. Some non-book readers might struggle to get attached.

The film simply doesn't have time to deliver narrative, mood and emotional characters the way Fellowship of the Rings did, as I often see the film compared to LOTR. Unlike LOTR, Dune has not shot part 2, and it doesn't have enough action beats/plot beats to give you engaging character interactions for 1/3 of the story.

As a result some characters seem to be "seen in passing". Which... Bothered me a little at 3am, but has since faded. My memories turn to Jessica and how incredible Fergusson was. Absolutely show stealing. And Skarsgard!! Yeesh, the Baron Harkonnen does not need more screen time to be intimidating...

All the cast delivers. The visuals, design, costume, photography... It's clear to me everyone involved in this was at the top of their craft and giving it their all for a career turning point of a production. I even struggle to believe book 2 could land such a punch again, I mean, I've rarely been punched in the face this hard by a movie...

I mean, I'm not the type to be into spaceships or anything. I even struggle with models in the Star Wars universe and I published 58 fan fics for that fandom so... And yet in this film, hah... When the Atreides ships are introduced (you see these big transports in the trailer) I was like "No. He didn't... OMG the madlad, he did." — the music, the visuals, the scale... And then there's the thopters, and I was having moments of prescience myself, seeing actual ship/spaceship nerds rise up, foam frothing at the mouth. Modeling thopters and making videos about them for years to come.

The audio was loud, bold. The music alien. The sound mixing done so well I had a snappy thought 2min in, along the lines of "I hope Nolan sits to this film and learns something about sound mixing from this" (don't @ me, I'm still spicy about my viewing of Tenet).

In short, Dune is spectacular. It oozes with mythos and charm, feels lived in, intimidating yet beguiling. The plot is as sound as the book's the visuals are a cinema/SFF fan's wet dream, the acting and production value are stupid crazy, and the only drawback IMO — for non book readers — will be the "in passing" characters (like Raban, Piter, Gurney, Hawat... Who simply don't have the space and time to shine yet) and the ending, which is 100% "INSERT CD 2"

It feels jarring and leaves you begging for more. But book readers probably won't feel the same pang, since we can now close our eyes and image how bonkers part two can be in such visuals.

I've over-heard old french people saying it was super boring and slow and... lol I can't disagree more, but then again the trailer does market an action movie, and the film is not any more action packed than BR2049 was. When the action comes calling it's big, fast... When it isn't, the movie is moody, deliberate, and meticulous.

It won't be for everyone, but if you've so much as "enjoyed" the books, you'll be having the experience of a lifetime.

Before I delve into some mild spoilers I'd like to make a disclaimer: Denis has begged people to see Dune in cinema, and I was thinking "of course, what film maker wouldn't want people in cinema?" but also suspected he might want the numbers in order to get part 2 started.

I owe him an apology for these impure thoughts. You MUST watch Dune in cinema, not for Denis or part 2 (though, come on...), but for YOURSELF. There is not a single home cinema set up that can do justice to this film. It's the definition of why you go to the cinema for. It's epic in scale, it makes you jump at startling moments, it punches and screams at you, and makes you squint at others, and you walk out of there with a sense of having witnessed something like... To me, like Interstellar. Remember seeing that docking sequence scene in the theater and walking out being like "holy shit" ? Well Dune is very much like that. It was made for the big screen, and anything short of IMAX or Dolby ATMOS would be a disservice to both the film and yourself.

I will be seeing it in France the instant it comes out in September. It begs rewatching.

Now for some spoilery thoughts (mild spoilers, and a warning for further spoilers below).

The film takes surprisingly little time to delve on certain topics. Like the spice. Sure you're told it's important, and the economics that drive the story make it feel important, but not nearly as much as I suspected it would be. There is no clunky exposition on the topic (lol no fucking time for that!) no scene where someone shoves spice in your face and goes “oh but blah blah spice must flow”. It’s said in passing and newcomers better hold on to their seat and pay attention.

Sadly though a fair bit of the dialogue was expositional imo, and too little of it over all felt like that heart warming moment between Paul and Leto. It's not a big drawback, but since I enjoy more character driven stories, I regretted the lack of general emotional investment.

On the point of emotions though, I was taken aback by Jamis! The scene of him in the trailers "I'll show you"... creates a sort of very subtle and implied dynamic that was probably one of the biggest heart punch for me, and started driving home how dire Paul's visions can be. I suspect some viewers won't interpret it the way I did though.

THE VOICE WAS SO WELL MADE YOU GUYS!! The thopter escape scene was always a "meh, sure, they get away" moment for me in the books. Good teamwork between Paul and Jessica... But *hearing it* was a completely different business. I was at the edge of my seat, I LOVED IT.

There's also a lot of actual signing in the film! And the Sardaukar don't speak english but a super guthural language. Kind of like making a conlang merging German and the Black Speech of Mordor and giving it to a Danish to speak. Felt very cool.

The shields were just as badass as you think they'll be. The slow impact weapons are just... *chef kiss*

Finally some heavy spoilers on book story details (jihad, Muad'dib, some characters) :

There is no mentions of Jihad, but not because it's avoided. The visions of a fight Paul has are rare, and he mentions them once. At that time he says war or massacre but not Jihad. I didn't notice until I was asked.

He also doesn't chose the name Muad'Dib. If I recall that's right after killing Jamis, but doesn't happen here, even if we see the literal muad'dib in the desert. It's also fine. Those scenes were at the very end, and I felt like slamming newcomers with such a significant moment with alien language at the very end might be a mistake. I'm curious to see how it's handled in part 2 though.

I was looking forward to Piter... His role is uber minor. As much as Hawat's. Like, the Bull that killed Leto's father gets more screen time, funnily enough. There's a heavy imagery around it that's going to fuel many video essays.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 14 - watching notes

Little note on the last ep: I love how everyone finds wwx in his inner robe absolutely 🔥🔥🔥 I mean, I agree! but it's just one less layer! It's still covering his entire body! 😂 but still, it's somehow the hottest shit any of us have ever seen :D

So, off to ep 14 *bangs head to opening melody*

He put the headband back on because he fears that lwj is nervous without it 🥺🥺🥺

How can they be so soft with each other???

And lwj's almost-smile :')

Can't write much about the arrow picking except that I honestly love how this scene is shot. The lightening, the music, the sound of them working. It all works brilliantly to build up the tension

Wait? Was that weird lightening that lwj shot into wwx head something to let them communicate by thought? The potential! 😲 My mind immediately went to thought-sharing-smut fix but then I remembered that there might even be hope for that in canon!! 😱 (or at least, some version of canon)

That's vaguely disgusting (The inside of the shell, I mean)

I'm surprised the turtle doesn't notice that there is someone walking around inside her shell

So wait ... what? There is a sword there which traps the turtle. Meaning, someone has been there before and maybe purposefully trapped it there, meaning this whole excursion was completely unnecessary. They could have just left it there and it would never have bothered anyone outside that cave. Then again, Wen chao doesn't strik me as someone to think such things through ...

Quickly, Wei Wuxian! Stab the diary with its tooth! ... wait, wrong fandom

Maybe it's not though ... there's very horcrux-like black goo coming out of the sword 😳

Tf is happening to wwx? He's hurting 🥺

Now he's... not. And he's somehow controlling the black mist and the swords ... I'm confused. Is this where the "demonic cultivation" comes in

Worried lwj is my new favourite thing on this show

Why is there random fighting in the throne room of the wen sect???

Wwx looks mildly traumatised :(

Oh wow ... I'm continuously in awe of the music choices. During this talk, you can hear the main theme (wangxian's theme, I think) in the background. But for the first time, it's played on deep, melancholic cellos. That alone gave me chills! Just, endless kudos to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack for this show!

Apparently, worried lwj is also wwx's favourite thing :')

Seriously wwx!!! He is helping you and NOW you decide to throw the "boring" back at him??

Are these two idiots allergic against genuine, heartfelt moments???

Oh god, no I take it back immediately!!!!

"Can you sing a song for me?" 😭

Hughn ... you don't understand!

There's NO trope I love more than one part of a couple singing to the other (maybe it's because that's how I like to show love. Sorry, tmi)

I'm weak guys ... 😭😭😭

He's doing it .... OMG HE'S DOING IT! and his voice is so nice and deep and ...

Okay ...line break ... I'm actually crying. I legitimately have tears running down my face

I just watched this sequence three times and I couldn't type while I watched because I COULDN'T MISS THIS!

Also I'm crying. It was hard to see anything

Just ...

...

THEY DID THAT

They did a straight up compilation of their love so far

And the song! THE SONG!! THE SONG!!!

I had suspected so before, but it's actually their love theme

And ... hugh ... lan wangji sang it ... for wei Wuxian

Apart from how f*cking meta that is, that's just... the most romantic thing you can do for mesomeone (have I mentioned that I'm weak for this ...)

And and and the compilation ...

They really know how to play a fandom, right? Like, they know

I'm speechless...

Just the fact that they do this and then they have to pretend that nope, this is completely straight, nothing to see here is absolutely bewildering to me

Hugh ... I need to calm down... I'll watch it a third time

The lantern scene was there, tooooooo!!! 😭😭😭

No, no I'm concentrating again

"What's the name of the song?" What's the name??? What is it?

(If you know, please don't tell me! I just ask these questions to get my feelings out, not because I genuinely want to know spoilers ;))

They got out. I'm almost sad. With how things were going, a few hours more in that cave and they probably would have straight up cuddled :D

Jiang Cheng allows himself to show 1, ONE second of genuin concern for his brother, before he starts acting all tough again 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

Noooo, why did lan wanji leave??? :(

Okay, that's a good reason

Yay! They finally decided to do something about the Wen clan :D

God I love Lotus Cove :)

Again, this reminds me so much of lotr and particularly the elves. The way the camera pulled from a light background to wwx, just waking up in bed after being injured ... the only thing missing was Elrond's head floating above him :D

Woahwoahwoah, hold a second. I had to go back and pause ... is that two men kissing on the bed frame??? Is this the show's way of telling us "yes they kissed, no we couldn't show you. Here, have some heavy-handed subtext so you won't miss it"

It's senior sister :,)

And even Jiang Cheng is caring eith him, bringing him soup ... I have feelings!

And now the whole family is here *sniff*

Okay ... f*ck. I see. Jiang Cheng did so mich, wwx even tries to pull attention to it and their father/uncle still only pays attention to wwx :/

Argh, I forgot that there's still one more member to this family 🤦‍♀️

Oh f*ck her!

Just ... ugh ... that's all I'm saying about that

wwx and jiang Cheng! 😭 - they're both such emotionally constipated idiots (especially jc), but this heart to heart felt so real, you know? Like it could happen between any two brothers in their situation :')

And honestly, it's so tragic. Both of them are definitely NOT at fault for their situation, yet it always hangs over their relationship. I hate it when,in a story, the parents' baggage is transferred to their children, mostly because that's sadly how it goes most of the time

Episode finished... Going back to the song part, so I feel good again :D

These past two episodes where ... hagh ... heaven for my hurt/comfort-loving heart 🥰

And in general, I think, this one was my favourite so far!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony (please excuse my typos, btw. I'm sure there are many) 😅

[arofili]

fic writer tag game!!

i was tagged by @meztliel, thanks so much!!

AO3 name: starlightwalking

Fandoms: mostly Tolkien, my current main WIPs are Hobbit and LOTR fics, but i’m definitely mostly writing for the Silm these days, just lots of oneshots. i also dabble in Les Mis (at least once a year for Barricade Day!) and TAZ :)

Number of fics: 179??? how??? and i’m only gonna have more!! i’m not even done with B2MeM20 yet!!

Fic I spent the most time on: oh geez. that’s a tough one. this fic that i just posted, a Measse/Thuringwethil oneshot, i started in 2015?? but i left it sitting for 5 years, so i don’t think that counts. and i guess this drabble comp would be the next candidate, i started it in May 2016 and i last updated it in December 2019, but it’s...a drabble compilation, not an actual fic. so i think i actually spent the most time on my current WIPs, “Moonlight” and “Roads Go On,” both originally posted in May 2018 (jesus i was still in HIGH SCHOOL) and updated.....last year...... really i just haven’t had time to work on them, rip, though i think about them constantly. that’s what happens when you’re not in high school anymore i suppose....

Fic I spent the least time on: i mean, something from that drabble comp, probably. Or a B2MeM ficlet. probably this Glorfindel fic? I only remember writing it because I know it was written in a hurry at like 2am and my friend Moth @thishazeleyeddemon loved it and I was like “wow weird considering how little effort I put into it!”

Longest fic: Currently my post-BotFA Tauriel fic “Beneath the Stars” coming in at 49k! RGO and Moonlight both promise to be longer, but that would require me actually finishing either of them... but I love BtS so much that I’m glad it’s up there, it was a real labor of love <3

Shortest fic: “The Lay of Nienor” which I just wrote this past month! it’s only 238 words long - but it’s in verse, so that’s pretty respectable!

Most hits: My first BotFA fix it fic, “A Merrier Place,” with 5544 hits - to no one’s surprise by my chagrin. That was one of my first forays into Hobbit fic and I wrote it shortly after the movie came out, when people were most in need of a fix it AU. So I don’t blame them, really - but as I’m sort of setting out to rewrite my thoughts on what actually would’ve happened in an Everyone Lives AU in my current fic “Moonlight,” I wish people would pay more attention to that...

Most kudos: My TRSB19 Gigolas fic, “Love and Fear,” coming in with 155 kudos! this fic features art from @ginogollum and honestly, it deserves that love! (though, I think it does say a lot about what fandom wants that my only romo!gigolas fic has the most kudos of anything i’ve written, and all my qp!gigolas fics are much lower down the list... though perhaps I’m being unfair, considering my qp!Domadry fic “Wedding Blues” has the second-most kudos at 147.)

Most comment threads: My other TRSB19 fic, the Feanorian Redemption/Rebirth story “ATATYA” - that’s 71 comment threads and 147 total comments including replies!!! :) that makes me very very happy, because I wrote the 45,000 words of that fic in like...two weeks, about? it was INTENSE. and i’m very proud of that story, it’s got a lot of headcanons that I stand by, and I reference it frequently!

Most bookmarks: I added this category bc it felt weird it wasn’t here. Again, this prize goes to “Love and Fear” with 43 bookmarks!! woah :o second place is “A Merrier Place” with 35, and then the first fic I haven’t already mentioned is “The Naming Dame,” a HTTYD book fic with 30 bookmarks! I really should go back and update that fic, considering I wrote it before the last book came out and there’s new relevant information...

Total word count: I also added this one because I wanna brag!! I currently have 739,961 words archived on AO3 - holy shit!! adding the ~253k words I didn’t transfer over from FFN, that’s nearly a million words of fic! by the time i finish B2MeM I might push past that threshhold!!!!! that’s so exciting!!!! (fun fact about me: before Tolkien, my main fandom was...warrior cats...roughly 215k of that fic I left to gather dust on FFN is WC fic........)

Favourite fic I wrote: This isn’t fair, I can’t choose just one!! Ugh...well, if I must, I think it has to be “ATATYA”? This is subject to change, and “Beneath the Stars” is a close second, but “ATATYA” is my first real Silm longfic and I’m very proud of what I accomplished there, especially in such a short amount of time. Bonus: my favorite oneshot / favorite non-Tolkien fic is “and Love,” the aro Magnus fic I wrote for ASAW last year!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I mean, I already talked about how “Moonlight” is kind of a rewrite of “A Merrier Place,” so...hm. Well, earlier today in an ask game I mentioned my fic “fell and fey” which is the Eol-living-in-a-fairy-tale fic I wrote just this past month. I started writing a longer, more poetic version of that fic that I’d like to return to and expand on someday, but I wanted to get that idea out of my head and B2MeM was a great excuse to do it, so I went with the shorter version instead - for now!

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

I’ve got a couple WIPs right now... here’s a snippet of ch8 of “Roads Go On” (which i PROMISE i will have up soon...i know i’ve been saying that for more than year but i MEAN IT this time...)

“What do you mean we can’t take the freeway?” Boromir snapped.

“My way or the highway, he means,” Gimli quipped. “And, uh...not the highway, I guess.”

Mithrandir shot Gimli a withering glare. Though he only smiled, some part of him shriveled up inside. A wizard’s evil eye was nothing to mess with.

I think I’ve already shared that snippet in a different tag game, so here’s one more for the road - this one’s from “Cause and Consequence,” my Halenthir baby OC fic. This snippet comes from a chapter that won’t be out for awhile (and might undergo some serious revamping before then), and it’s set right after the Nirnaeth, with my OC (Ryndil) about to confront their dad.

“This is no place for mortals,” Maglor said flatly. “You do know who we are, don’t you, Rýndil of Brethil?”

A shiver ran down their spine. Seven tall elf-lords, gaunt and scarred and bloody in the aftermath of a disastrous battle. Maedhros, the eldest, was a shell of the glorious figure he’d been on the battlefield; they weren’t sure if he was even awake, his eyes were so glassy and unfocused. Grief, they supposed. They’d heard the rumors about him and the High King, after all.

Maglor, leading in his place, trembling despite the firmness in his golden voice. Celegorm, bitter and angry and mean despite his fair features. Curufin, his dark shadow, flint in his eyes and venom on his tongue. Amrod and Amras, mirroring each other in their distrustful glares. And yet despite the blood and dirt and pain, a light shone from each of them. These were men to be feared, men to be worshipped.

And then there was him. Caranthir the Dark. Rýndil’s father, the blood flowing through their veins, the reason they were here in the first place. Gaunt and red-faced, the weary host of his defeated brothers, he had scarcely stopped moving about and making room for them since they arrived.

As much as Rýndil was of the Haladin, as much as they were the child of Haleth, they were bound to this family and people also.

there’s a lot of grief-stricken angry feanorian banter that comes after this (including some Maedhros characterization that i’m Very Proud Of), and honestly? i might just go ahead and post the whole excerpt if anyone wants to read it (it’s about 1.3k words) since I’m fairly sure I will be changing a lot of it anyway, even if it’s only for tone.

~

looking at these stats, i’m both kind of sad and kind of proud. like, i’m proud of myself for what i’ve written, and proud of the relationships i’ve forged with readers and writers on AO3, but i know lots and lots of folks who have waaayyy higher stats than me. i know considering i write a lot of gen and aro fic that i’ll never be a Big Name Fan, but that doesn’t stop me from being jealous... sigh...

anyway, this was very very fun!!! i tag @buffintruder @himrings @mushroomwriter @zealouswerewolfcollector @hennethgalad @absynthe--minded @stormxpadme @morifiinwe @raisingcain-onceagain annnd any other writer who sees this and wants to do it!! no pressure of course, only do it if you want to :)

(and LMK in replies if you’re interested in seeing more of that Ryndil snippet!!)

[houseswolo]

Day 2 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting

"You make me fly!"

Let's meet some more Thristies!

Athena

(Tumblr: @lilia-ula | Ao3: Lilia_Ula)

What got you into Star Wars?

ROTJ made a huge impression on me as a child. I fell hard for the Ewoks and had a soft spot for Salacious Crumb, the little wannabe Gremlin Jabba kept as a pet. So, I fell in love with the original trilogy backward, starting with VI and ending up with A New Hope. 😂

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

Most definitely the subtext within their interactions in TFA. JJ and crew made sure I'd notice the hotness therein. *bless 'em*

Why do you write / make art?

To bring scenes I'll never see on the big screen to life. I'm shameless, a complete gratuitous writer.

The Object of your Thirst…

With my penchant for villainous crushes, Kylo Ren will ever wear the crown.

Which Adam look do you like the best?

TFA Kylo, aka the Grim Reaper I wish would kill me softly, closely followed by Dark Space Prince™ in TLJ. His coloring and features are made for black, and it flusters me endlessly that he humors my fetish by wearing TONS of it off screen.💦

Which part of Adam do you like the best? 

I'm so gonna sound like a creepy dude when I say this, but ah well. His eyes slay me. He is a master of portraying intensity and emotion, and it is best focused in his gorgeous eyes.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

The Last Jedi

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

E-rated erotica with feeling behind each thrust

Your TRoS Prediction

Oh, c'mon, I'm a red-blooded Reylo. They gonna tango.

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Your destination is a dark, foreboding castle bordered by steep mountains to the North. You ride through flowering orchards an elegant state of decay, the fragrance of blossoms beguiling your senses while the imposing sight of the stronghold fills you with growing dread.

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

Drama Creme

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating? 

It takes me time and quiet to submerge, and those commodities are in short supply IRL. Hence, the molasses-in-January pace of my output.😭

Are you a dom or sub? 

I switch but am happiest as a sub.

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

There have been more glamorous places, but I'll spring for weird: on a lit-up bench in the middle of City Hall in Honolulu. 2 am. *okaybye*

What's your kink?

Wait, What? Like, as in only one? *dies laughing*

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

Means "Red Lily" in Hawaiian, an ode to my daughter's middle name, my roots and the color red, which tends to dominate the field in my subject matter.

Do you like it rough or soft? 

B O T H

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

This Way Lies Ruin

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Cecelia

(Tumblr: @queenoferebor | Twitter: @queenoferebor12 | Ao3: Cecilia1204)

What got you into Star Wars?

I am an OT girl. I fell in love with a galaxy far far away as a kid and especially Han Solo, who was my first love. Forty-two years later and I'm still here, even more involved now that fandom is a thing and meeting my soul-sisters from all over the world. I loved the adventure, the romance and the whole concept of good and evil and redemption that SW gave me. I dragged my kids to the movies and I know I'll still be watching them until the day I have to sit right in front of the screen, with the sound at full blast, just to watch my babes in my old age.

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

After TFA, I was pretty angry at Kylo, won't lie. Then I read Reylo stuff on Tumblr and before TLJ came out I tried my first Reylo fic and boom, I was hooked. It's basically my fave trope: redeemed bad/misunderstood guy that sees the light when he meets the love of his life. I mean, I'm a Sansan and Dramione, Beauty & the Beast shipper, so it fitted the bill, really.

The Object of your Thirst…

Originally, and for many, many, many years, it was Han Solo. That man could have made me burn up on Hoth. Then along came his son, Ben/Kylo, and while I didn't see it at first, now, hooley dooley but I thirst for him now. I would not not say no to a threesome with both father and son! Just saying 😏

Which Adam look do you like the best?

I'm a complete hoe for shorter hair, so Paterson, Phillip Altman and now Daniel Jones get my hormones racing. I would not say no to a jonesing on his desk on that basement. No, siree!

Which part of Adam do you like the best? 

All of him! Like, what's not to like? Narrowing it down is hard because I would lick that man from head to toe but it was his eyes and hair that got my attention. I could drown in those eyes and I've always had a hair kink, and his is perfection. Then there's his shoulders, arse, hands, mouth.....

Favorite Star Wars Movie

Was Return of the Jedi and then TLJ. If we get the Reylo pay off in TRoS, that could become my new fave

Your TRoS Prediction

Ben and Rey will declare their love and bone like bunnies in the Millenium Falcon. A girl can hope

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

Probably a stairwell. Near a railway line. Not nearly as sexy as it sounds, lol

What's your kink?

Hair. I love hair. And HEAs. If it doesn't have a happy ending, I'm not reading or watching, sorry. I don't want to be sad.

Use three words to describe yourself.

Happy, optimistic, loyal

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

I'm a mad LOTR and Hobbit fan, so that's where Queen of Erebor came from. The 1204 is my birthday

Do you like it rough or soft? 

Soft. I like romance but every now and then...

Favorite toy

My Satisfyer (clit stimulator) is currently my go to.

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Han Sol. I really am a Hoe-lo for Solo!

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Meet the other Thristies!

Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:

1

cc: @tazwren @deadlikemoi @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @lostinqueue-ffa @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @kaybohls @nite0wl29 @cosmo-gonika @wilsonthinks66 @roguesinside @areylofan @3todream3 @koderenn @queenoferebor @thereylowritingden @housedadam @house-crylo @houseplaidam

[hows-a-robin-like-a-writing-desk]

Camp Camp Batfam AU; T

so far I have at least, like, 3 ideas for Camp Camp AU’s cause I fell face first into the fandom, so here’s some ideas for one; AU-ccT.

-The one where Tim gets caught sneaking out to photograph Batman and Robin by his mother when he’s ten (or almost ten)

-he gets sent to Camp Campbell, a camp in Sleepy Peak NJ for the sake of this universe

-he’s on the bus with Neil and Nikki in episode 1, for photography camp.

-he’s never seen anywhere without his camera. Ever. 

rundown of the bare bones of most of his relationships in Camp Campbell under the cut, because It got long and most of you won’t care so I wouldn’t want to bother too much:

-He and Neil got along well on the ride over to camp; Tim nerds out with him about science. Neil finds the kid a little annoying at first, but the kid mellows out pretty quickly as they talk. He’ll seek Tim out for some actual intelligent conversation sometimes at camp. Sometimes, when he goes to ‘Science Camp’, there are Cursive notes in the comments of notes he left out, either comedic or cringy puns or actual helpful advice and suggestions. Also they’re both jewish, so there’s some solidarity there. 

-Sometimes, when Nikki is out on adventures by herself, He’ll appear in a tree and join her. They go hunting for cool things; Nikki will screw with them, and Tim will watch and take pictures and intervine if he thinks he has to. He’s saved her life a fair amount of times. He’ll spout random fun-facts about nature and entertain whatever weird conversation she wants to have. He’s cool enough when no one else is around, though kind of weird. He can climb trees better then her.

-Max doesn’t think of Tim much at all. Tim came on the bus with Neil and Nikki, but didn’t do much to make a lasting impression. He stayed close to Neil until Max started staging escape attempts, then he faded into the background. Max thinks he’s like a quieter, maybe smarter Dolph; an annoying naive kid who doesn’t know how fucked the world is. Sometimes he’ll try to screw with the kid. He’s stolen the Boy’s camera twice; both times the boy had it again within the hour, never even confronting Max. The third time he left a note politely asking him to stop. Despite Max’s best efforts, there isn’t a forth time, but on the 7th attempt a picture of Mr.Honeynuts was left on his bed in clear blackmail. Somethings up with that kid. Maybe he’ll give enough of a shit to figure out what someday.

-Tim isn’t really a good artist, but he and Dolph get along well enough he guesses. Dolph finds his photos inspiring, so Tim can trade in favours for cool pictures of one thing or another. Sometimes he’ll sit and watch Dolph do art silently, and no one talks to either of them. It’s great. Dolph tried talking to Tim at first, but Tim wouldn’t say much in response and would often leave quicker when Dolph talked a lot, so he tries to keep it down.

-Ered doesn’t care about Tim all that much, really. She has a spark of respect because he’s surprisingly ok at skateboarding, and he’ll fix up the half-pipe sometimes. every once in a while, the repairs even last longer then a day. Cool.

-Tim is skeptical of Harrison, and a little worried by his temper; he could actually be a meta and not really get it yet, and with his temper he could do some damage. Tim is more then familiar with the ‘keep your enemies closer’ mentality, and has a tentative friendship with the boy. He thinks he’s nice enough, but he’s certainly powerful. No one is allowed to touch Max’s camera, but Harrison especially. He tries to help Harrison figure out how to use and control his powers and Harrison appreciates it. Tim has never been the victim of a spell from Harrison.

-Nerris and Tim get along like a house on fucking fire. Tim is quiet, and usually just goes along with whatever campeign Nerris is running, but has a great time anyway. He always wanted to play D&D. They nerd out over Magic and Pokemon and LoTR etc. The only real fight they have is Star Wars Vs. Star Trek, and they get the whole camp involved somehow. She’s a very loud personality that he can’t handle being around all the time, but he appriciates their time together and all

-Tim is just one of those kids that are pegged as easily bulliable. Naturally, Nurf bullies him. Or, at least, he tries to. The kid has an annoying habit of slipping through his fingers and appearing in trees whenever Nerf tries to do any real damage. Tim hates Nurf. He seems so textbook Gotham it almost hurts, but Tim is probably one of the only people that understands why Nurf is the way he is, but is firm that it’s no excuse for his behavior. He ignores most verbal bullying, unless he deems it worth a quiet comeback that no one but Nerf hears that leave him baffled because that kid was supposed to be meek and probably neglected or something, not a snarky asshole. one of the few exceptions is when Nerf insults Tim’s mom, which results in a sudden uproarious laughter that is the loudest sound anyone at the camp has ever heard him make. It goes on long enough to worry David and creep most of the campers out. When asked what happens, he criptically answers ‘Gaylord said the first funny thing I’ve ever heard out of his damn mouth’, stunning the camp with the first curse they’ve heard the boy use, a rare insult from the boy, and Nurf especially from the use of his full name. What The Hell is with that kid?

-Preston will swear, until the day he dies, that Tim is a wonderful actor. Nobody beleives him. Nobody ever will. Once, Preston coerced him into preforming on stage, but he immediately faked an anxiety attack and was excused. When they’re alone, Tim is a brilliant actor. The time he tried to film it, the camera broke and Tim was there with a drawl of ‘I’m in Camera Camp why did you think that would work out for you’. Preston kind of hates him for it. Tim helps out backstage all the time though, and is the only one besides Dolph who stays to help after David’s demanded minimum clean up time. He’s recorded almost all of Preston’s shows, and Dolph, Preston, and Tim become an unexpected and unseen force to be reckoned with. Maybe. 

-Space Kid is a child and naive in a way Tim isn’t used to and doesn’t like. He’s kinda stupid and exceedingly nice, and Tim almost wants to provoke him. That would be counterproductive though, so he just ignores the kid for the most part. 

-David appriciates Tim. Tim is probably the only camper that really listens to him, never causes much of a ruckous, and even seems to enjoy camp! He’s a great example, if shy. David would like to say he payed attention to all of his campers equally but, at this camp, while he cared for them all, it couldn’t be ignored that Tim just...Didn’t need as much attention. He was self sufficent and surprisingly responsible, and David had to stop other kids from burning down the camp. He gave Tim extra desserts most of the time and asked for his input on this or that to keep Tm engaged, but has definetly not noticed Tim sneaking out of camp with a worrying frequency.

-Gwen doesn’t trust the little Gotham shit. He’s gotta be up to something. He’s too perfect, and she just feels that there’s something off about the kid. Tim confirms to her through purposefully cracks in the mask when its Just Gwen around once because he likes Gwen, or at least likes screwing with her. Now, if only Gwen could find it in her to care enough to expose this little shit, between homicidal campers and runaways and a platypus and- and Tim can wait a bit, ok? She’s a little busy.

-Tim is the only one who knows how to properly care for a platypus. Whenever he goes to feed it and such he drags Nikki along and lets her do most of the stuff so it inprints on her, because he does not want the creature following him around.

[starbright-cobweb]

That's an interesting question. I certainly see why that the Mirkwood elves do have that vibe, but why? The way they are depicted in the Hobbit is very fairy-like, in contrast to the more stately depictions of Rivendell and Lothlorien in the different-tone of Lord of the Rings. That's part of why I'm such an intense Mirkwood stan. Maybe some ambient stuff about what it is to be civilised or royal (the Mirkwood elves just live in a forest, whereas Rivendell and Lothlorien are little Woodland Cities with stately vibes - that's not a reading that's justified by the text when you pay attention, but it is my gut mental image of those differing places and differing cultures. Mirkwood elves could be hippies in a forest - a subculture not known for their love of hierarchy, monarchy and the State - or could overlap with forest spirits and presences, with fairytale entities, with the sound of a party which are suddenly silenced. We're in Susanna Clarke territory there!) Tolkien always gets cosmologically weird when you get too close to Land+Void. If you were to imagine a map or a correspondence system or alchemy which described Middle Earth. Mirkwood's giant spiders, Beorn, Tom Bombadil, the Ents and Fangorn: they all touch on the cthonic, and have land-elemental qualities, and they're all a bit of a question mark cosmologically. What are they?! In the way that stuff that feels Valinorian has a far more clearly celestial vibe which matches the Valar, and which is properly documented in the history. It's been too long since I read the Simarillion to remember the names of the Elven ethnic groups in question accurately but uhhh, the Avari - the ones which never went to Valinor - and the Silvan elves - also non-Valinorian- all of whom are Land-elemental, not Light-elemental or Celestial-elemental, have ?????? histories. In comparison to, say, Galadriel and the Noldor who are explored in great detail, as peoples with a history, with inventions, with ships and cities and culture. Or Numenorians. Or uhhh crikey, I can't remember the name of Elrond's ethnic group. The other important one that isn't Noldor. The Land-cthonic is important to Tolkien, it keeps turning up in his work in some of its most intense and beautiful moments; but he is perhaps uncomfortable with its pagan implications, because it remains cosmologically behind a veil. Mirkwood is also in this black box. I remember from my LOTR fandom back in the day that Legolas fangirls were kinda stymied by the lack of information about Legolas and his culture and history, at least in contrast to the Elrond fandom i.e. There was an uncertainty about who Legolas' forebears actually were, and how he fitted into the Silmarillion lore. Perhaps this contributes to that sense of psychological legitimacy for characters like Elrond and Galadriel as people who are noble and have the trappings of nobility and permanence, and that sense of psychological illegitimacy that attaches to Mirkwood. I have to say, I'm kinda tickled pink by the fact there is a Thranduil fandom now; there wasn't the last time I was involved in LOTR fandom. He was just my thing. But part of what drew me to Mirkwood *was* that outsiderliness, that at-the-fringeness, the gaps surrounding him for me to fill in, the fairylike qualities, and the sense of deep paganism as opposed to a sense of the regal and respectable. So, I'm looking forward to other responses to this question: I do think the distinction you're observing exists, I'm interested in other peopl's ideas about why

Now that I'm reading the silmarillion, I don't think Thranduil gets enough credit for being, like, the only Elvenking not to die horribly. And he holds his own against the enemy.

I'm not saying any of the other kings were bad - they did their best with what they had - but I do think Thranduil deserves some recognition.

[rakuen9]

Some thoughts on wlw in mainstream media and fandom

I’ve noticed a trend going on in certain tv shows and fandoms that is bothering me a bit. So let’s talk Clexa, Sanvers, Cophine and WayHaught. 

I have to say that I really like being a part of these fandoms and communities that are so active and produce so much content like fanart, fanfiction and super detailed text posts deconstructing the relationships/characters/motivations. I love you guys and I like enjoying that content but I’ve noticed something that is a bit worrisome. 

Fandoms are expanding weakly written characters (or characters that barely get any screentime) and the writers are taking all the credit. . 

I’m not gonna say much about Clexa, but I remember the time of the hiatus between seasons 2 and 3 where I read so many things about Lexa and how amazing she is.. things that weren’t in the show .. where I started liking her a lot more because I got to know her because of the fandom expanding her character with theories and backstories. We took a couple of lines about Costia and created this whole story about who she was and who they were together and all we knew about her was that Lexa loved her, she got killed in a political powerplay that failed and that Lexa has avoided getting close to someone because of all of that. But in the show that Costia conversation was a minute long. And then we know the shitshow that happened in the latter half of season 3. The first half was pretty dope in developing Lexa and grounder society and political climate. And they we all know what happened. And this might be odd to say, but the fact that she died doesn’t bother me that much. How she died and how we were lied to, and baited by the shitty PR people is the unforgivable part. How the writers pat themselves on the back for creating those characters and being progressive and then just fucking it up in a way that’s so incredibly idiotic that the backlash came to a total surprise. And then having Clarke hook up with another chick because it’s close enough is so insulting and again idiotic that i can’t even. But what do I know, I stopped watching that shitshow after 3x07. 

The same thing almost happened in OB with Cosima being with Shay (because they didn’t book the actress as a regular .. Hmm why does that seem familiar). Delphine is another character who we spent not a lot of time with and that was fine because they wanted to make us wonder if she’s working for the clones or for Dyad. And they did the fake-out death thing (and I’m sure that they didn’t kill her off and dropped the Shay story line because of the backlash). I think that they truly are less moronic than the people behind the loo and they payed a bit more attention to the fandom. And at the moment of me writing this, the day that 5.06 airs, they are trying to fix some of the issues. Delphine being isolated and not trusted by the main characters and her whereabout and general actions. They’re also expanding her character by having her interact with other characters like Mrs. S and PT and Aysha, etc which both furthers the plot and also gives us some information about the type of person she is. (A woman who’s willing to take a lot of shit to get what she wants). As with Lexa, I won’t have minded that much if she was actually going to die (because the universe of those shows is ruthless and dangerous and not everyone survives it and killing a fan favorite is a good way to hammer that shit down) but the framing of it is problematic. If we think about how Paul’s demise was framed (Paul who was in a very similar position to Delphines) how we was framed as a self sacrificing hero whose shitty actions were forgiven and understood completely, as opposed to Delphine who would have died in a garage alone..) But she didn’t die yet, and while I don’t think she will, I know not everyone will survive this season and I’m ready (nope... I’m not) for the heartbreak. 

Sanvers is.. ergh.. I like them they’re cute. The later in life storyline rings so true to me as a closeted 25 year old that’s not even funny, but Maggie is barely in it. She is Alex’s GF and we know little else about her. She had a bad coming out story (that was traumatic so of course she might have issues with Valentines day, but Alex is a romantic so she’ll do the bullshit Valentines day thing for Alex). Which is dumb. Love is strong but even with love you still need time to process and get over things. As nice as the scene with them going to a Valentines/prom thinggie is, I’d rather have had them talk about it. A simple “ok, I really to like you a lot, and I know you are a romantic at heart and I know this is important for you, but I can’t do this now. Maybe in the future, but right now, doing the Valentines thing still hurts too much” . How great would that have been? And then we get the thing with her girlfriend that she cheated on, but we didn’t talk about it. Why did she do it? Who was that Maggie that would cheat? Why was she scared? Like I could answer this, I’m sure that I would find nice reasons, but I would have loved if the writers would have given those answers themselves. And they get really intense scenes and short cute scenes, but there’s not a lot of screentime there. And now they’re getting married because why the hell not? Gay people can do that now right? But we won’t have the actress as a regular. Because wlw want representation and a married couple is that right? Why develop Maggie when we can do other things? And the behind the scenes pictures of the premiere is giving me season 3 finale “leaked” photos vibes that it’s seriously making me consider if i want to continue watching the show. I loved Kara but she was treated like shit in season 2 by the writers and I don’t like seeing that in characters I like. So if Kara is poorly written and the wlw relationship underdeveloped and has 2 minutes of screen time why watch it? 

HayHaught was similar to Sanvers with the (not so) slow burn and Nicole was a bit isolated but they’re doing a good job in season 2 developing her. And I like the show, but it’’s also campy and while I like that OB and the even the loo had more interesting premises ( I like sci fi so I’m biased). I also like the supernatural demon fighting thing but sci fi is my jam. Anyways I actually like the show, but it’s not really something that I would recommend to my straight friends. OB is obviously the best of the shows that I mentioned ( and I literally sat one of my friends down and made him watch all of season 1 a few wars ago.. it’s fine already made me watch all 3 LotR director cuts in one sitting so.. we’re even). I am really exited about Wynonna Earp though, and I do love it, but I think it’s more of an aquired taste. 

Anyways this long and rambly post was supposed to reflect the fact that we are so starved for representation as a community that we praise shows and writers that might not completely deserve it and the frustrating thing about it is that they get to pat themselves on the back for being so progressive and get all this attention that isn’t completely earned.  Except Emily Andras she’s pretty awesome ( this season, Nicole is getting developed, the POCs were added to the cast and the te fact that they included the Melanie’s pregnancy into the show is actually pretty progressive and awesome. I’m not a big fan of those stories and I’m still pretty conflicted about Wynonna being pregnant. Mostly because I think that she might have chosen a different way to deal with this. But I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt). 

Anyways thanks for reading this rambly post and I hope it made some sense? 

[mangokiwitropicalswirl]

The Gift

Missing scene(s) in “Tithonus.” There’ve been a lot of recent discussions about Scully and the immortality question, and oddly enough, I was already working on this fic which is my take on that issue.

This is dedicated to any fellow Philes who spent the late 90s transitioning seamlessly from Philedom into the LOTR fandom!

Rated: R for language

It seems a sacrilege to call it beautiful. But it is.

The woman’s coat looks almost purple in the deep black pigment of the film; her pale skin is shock white and smooth as a doll’s. Her open eyes look toward approaching light, and the wisp of breath escaping from her mouth -- what he had said was death itself -- looked like the soul exhaling on a winter morning. If not for the shimmering pool of blood spilling from her cloche, she looked almost alive, but merely posed for the photographer’s gaze.

It reminds Scully of painting of Ophelia she saw once -- Ophelia at the moment of her drowning, hands trailing in the black stream strewn with flowers, her eyes sad but steady as the dead weight of her flowing gown pulls her under. A thought flits through her mind, that how often in their death, young women are made to look so beautiful.

But even amidst thoughts of death and youth and beauty, she is still here to gather evidence. She seizes on the name scrawled in the corner and hurries to call Mulder.  

“Louis Brady, Mulder. Tell me what you find out.”

She can’t call Ritter. She won’t call Ritter. It hadn’t taken more than half a day for Scully to settle into loathing him. She had tried not to. Really, she had. Kersh was throwing her a bone, a lifeline. And even though she had no intention of grabbing it without pulling both she and Mulder out of background checking limbo, she had at least to make an effort.

But then Ritter started swaggering around talking about “busting this guy,” and bragging about knowing judges, fixing warrants. Scully had simply stopped talking to him, using the silence to pay even closer attention to the clues in front of her. Fellig’s own confessions, the pained look on his face in the interrogation room, had led her to his lacerated back and his improbable story.

She hadn’t been surprised when Mulder called her, full of theories, his mind racing a hundred miles a minute toward some unexpected truth. This was how they worked, how they’d always worked. Not at an effort to “bust” guys or make the details fit a preconceived conclusion. No, they started every case from scratch, everything on the table, no guide but truth and the whetstone of the other’s intellect to strike their own against.

She loves that about him. About them together. Mulder’s mind is everything that Ritter’s never could be. Mulder’s swagger is never about exerting his power over perpetrators, it’s just confidence in his ideas. An intellectual dominance, not a physical one.

Which is why it always surprises her a little when she hears his confidence waver. His comment on the phone -- “he has nice things to say about you, though. Mostly”-- there’s a tiny blip of worry underneath the teasing. As if all it takes is reassignment and she'll reconsider everything. She remembers first hearing this anxiety in their case with Tooms, a moment she recalls with a shiver, when he’d brushed his fingers briefly on her blouse as he’d grasped her necklace, tugging her slightly toward him as he voiced his feelings of connection. She had accused him of being territorial, which is, after all, just the workplace word for jealous.

She would never say aloud now, even to herself, how much she likes his territoriality. Now she is his, and just as much, he hers.

These are the thoughts running in the background of her mind as she stalls Fellig, waiting for Mulder to hurry up and call her back. Fellig is a sadly hollow man. His certainty he’s outlived the joys of life unsettles her, especially in this year she’s had post-cancer.

“What about love?” she asks. She winces at his answer. He tells how he forgot his own wife's name and she is speechless. Internally, she pities him intensely. He can’t have really loved, she thinks. He’s never even tried, in all these years, to understand what would make the rest of us bargain for every extra day of life.

Even discounting love, and that’s a lot, there’s simpler things. There’s your legs slipping into a warm bath, or the sky after rain. There’s your hands wrapping around a cup of coffee and bringing it slowly to your lips. Any one of these might be worth staying alive for one more year at least. And then next year you’d find a new thing -- a bird call you hadn’t noticed, a novel you re-read a hundred times, a knitted scarf, a song.

But maybe love’s what colors it, she wonders. Maybe all alone, the rest of it goes dim. She tries to think of going on without everyone she knows, as Fellig has. For a moment now, she understands. The real curse would be the emptiness. Then she remembers Bruckman and his prophecies -- for him, it wasn’t when but how we died. The world suddenly seems full of haunted men.

In all the stories, death sweeps in as darkness. But Ritter charges through the curtain in a shaft of light like a bright, avenging angel. She almost doesn’t feel the bullet; she’s still squinting at his swirling coat when the metal rends her gut. She’s pinned against the wall, eyes open and astonished.

And then the world goes colorless, its shadows and its brightnesses accentuated, the way they are at dusk before the sun goes down for good.

It seems a sacrilege to call it beautiful. But it is.

Ritter is new to the Bureau, but not so new he hasn’t heard the rumors. Spooky Mulder’s quirky quest is legendary around the halls of Quantico, both as a fascination and a cautionary tale. So when Agent Scully introduced them, Ritter thought he’d understood everything. Here was a man who lost his mind to conspiracy and fable, too far gone to rehabilitate. In the rumblings in the break room he heard stories of Antarctic quests and bees, UFO sightings and secret vaults, about how every paranormal monster tale got routed through their office.

But there’s another set of rumors Ritter’s new enough to not have heard. Maybe it’s that now that they’re not tucked away in the basement, the bullpen rumor mill is more discreet about its speculations. “Screwing since year two,” is the usual explanation for their bond. But Ritter hasn’t heard yet how they must be more than partners.

He registers how beautiful she is, and how hard it must have been for Mulder working day by day beside her not to cross some lines. He doesn’t think he’d manage it himself. And even though she’s the senior agent, he entertains some impure after-hours thoughts about her creamy skin and piercing eyes. It’s not uncommon; partners screw around and ADs look the other way. These two are probably no different.

But he is unprepared for Mulder’s absolute stark frenzy.

Ritter’s cold from shock and shaking, pacing the hospital corridors still covered in her blood. He knows he must have made some calls -- somehow they made it here. But he can’t remember dialing. His hands still quiver and his stomach’s tied in knots. Down the hall he hears shouting.

“Where the hell is she?!”

Ritter watches Mulder towering over the nurses’ station, his hands pounding flat on the counter top. “Dana Scully -- where is she?!” The volume of his voice is turning heads throughout the hall, and Mulder looks as jumpy as a caged animal, shifting on his feet as the nurses flip through files. He turns and strides toward Ritter when he sees him.

“What the fuck happened, Ritter?!” Mulder races toward him. Ritter winces and tries to back away. Mulder corners him and twists a knot of bloody shirt inside his fist, pressing him against the wall. “Tell me where she is!”

He doesn’t know what happened, Ritter thinks, not meeting Mulder’s wide-eyed gaze. He can’t tell him the truth either. Mulder will kill him, this he’s figured out already.

“She’s,” Ritter gulps, his tongue sticking in his throat, “she’s in surgery.”

“What. Happened?!” Mulder leans against him with his elbows in his gut.

“Gunshot wound.” Ritter’s hedging, mapping an escape route with his shifting eyes. “To the abdomen.”

“Oh god.” Mulder doubles over as if he’s been shot himself, releasing Ritter from his grasp. “Oh god, no.” The color drains from Mulder’s face and his breath leaves him in one swoop. He braces himself with one hand against the wall. Ritter hesitates a moment before he takes off running, ducking down the nearest stairwell in a panic.

It takes Mulder half a second to realize what Ritter’s doing, and then he’s off and running. “Ritter, you fuck!” He yells after him, swinging the stairwell door wide enough it bangs back against the wall with a harsh metallic clang. He’s about to take off down the stairs when he remembers, Scully. She’s here somewhere. He stops. A few flights below him there's an echo of a heavy door swung shut.

Mulder breathes and grips the railing, turning back to the sterile corridor and the nurses’ station. “Ms. Scully is in surgery,” a short blond nurse tells him. “Would you like to have a seat?” She nods toward the waiting room as Mulder tries to steady his breathing.

He hasn’t stopped since getting off the plane. He’d hopped the regional commuter jet as soon as he had found the open casefile, never stopping to call Kersh. He’d dialed Scully twenty times, willing her to pick the damn phone up. His fingers twitched the whole flight. He had chewed his way through half a bag of seeds, as if the grinding motion of his jaw could have made the plane go faster.

There was voicemail when he landed, a shaky Ritter rambling and breathless, “NYU Medical Center.” Then a pause. “You… you might want to hurry.”

Now he collapses in a wood-armed chair and leans to grip his head between both hands. He can hardly sit still half a minute before his mind resumes its racing. Skinner. Skinner might know something. If he doesn’t, he’ll find out.

Mulder’s reaching for his phone just as it rings. “Mulder,” he croaks.

“Mulder, what the hell is going on?” It’s Skinner.

“I was just about to call you, sir. Agent Scully’s been shot.”

“I heard that, Agent Mulder. What are you doing up there? Kersh is on the rampage. Something about you mucking up an arrest?”

“Why isn’t he on the rampage that one of his agents is currently in surgery for a gunshot to the abdomen?!” Mulder yells into the phone. “I’d think that would rank a little higher than some goddamn botched arrest!”

“Shit.” Skinner swallows audibly. “What happened?”

“I was just about to call you and find out,” says Mulder. “Ritter was here, looking like something the cat dragged in. He was…”. And here the gravity of her injuries sinks in again. His voice quavers, “he was covered in her blood.”

“Jesus.” Skinner sighs. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll try to find out what’s going on. Stay by your phone.”

“Yes, sir.” Mulder nods. As if he was going to take another breath without his hand gripping the damn phone. He tries to settle in the stiff beige chair, but in a minute he gets up again and walks a frantic circle. He’s alone in the low-lit room and for that he’s grateful. It gives him space to think. Which is when he starts to think how Ritter ran. Why would he run?

Mulder stops in his tracks when it hits him. Ritter did it. He shot her. The brown-nosing motherfucker shot her.

Mulder’s hands ball into a fist and he nearly hits the wall. It’s cinderblock, so he stops himself just short, all his anger quivering without someplace to go. He circles the room again and flips open the phone.

“Ritter!” It goes directly to his voicemail. “I swear to God, Ritter! If she dies, I will end you!” Mulder’s yelling almost incoherently, the rest of his message a swirl of expletives and blame.

“Mr. Mulder?” A nurse runs in the room and interrupts his tirade. “Mr. Mulder, we need you to keep it down please.”

Mulder punches end and flips the phone shut forcefully. He takes a slow breath through clenched teeth. “Sorry.”

“Mr. Mulder, we see from Ms. Scully’s files that you’re her primary emergency contact?”

He swallows, fearing what comes next. “Um, yes. She’s my partner.”

“Well could you come with me, please? The surgery team would like to see you.”

“Okay.” He breathes a little slower. “Is she… is she going to be okay?”

“I don’t have any information, sir, I’m sorry,” the nurse says. “She’ll be in surgery for awhile. Just come with me.”

It’s a cliche to say the hours passed in a blur, but for Mulder there was no other way to say it. There’s a quality to hospital lights, the fluorescence mixed with the pungency of industrial cleaners, that makes his brain just file these times away in the mental space his psyche labels, “hospital.” They’re indistinguishable from one another, a blur of white and worry.

There were phone calls to Skinner and to Maggie. There were strict warnings to stay away from Ritter. There was a parade of different doctors in blue scrubs offering updates that he barely understood. Scully was the one who did these things. It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable, just that in the years since they had been together, he’d begun to outsource his need to know these things to her. Scully is in charge of doctor jargon, he’s in charge of, what exactly?

Right now he couldn’t tell you as uselessness settles over him like a sedative. He waits outside the recovery room in a molded plastic chair.

When Ritter comes back in cleaner clothes to see how Scully’s doing, he watches Mulder camped like a sentinel outside her room and quickly turns around. Down the hall beyond the reach of Mulder’s hearing, he dials Kersh.

“Sir, I’m sure by now you’ve heard,” Ritter starts.

“So unfortunate, Agent. Please keep me apprised,” Kersh answers.

“Sir,” Ritter pauses. “Why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known….”

“Known what?” Kersh is confused.

“That Agents Mulder and Scully are,” he pauses again, considering his words, “that they’re together.”

“They’re not together, Agent,” says Kersh. “I split them up. You were meant to give Agent Scully a chance to come back in the fold.”

“No, sir, I know that,” Ritter tries to be deferential, but it’s clear that Kersh isn’t hearing what he means. “I mean, if I had known that they were lovers, I would have....”

“Your information’s incomplete, Agent.” Kersh cuts him off. “And I’d advise against spreading such unfounded rumors through the Bureau.”

“Yes sir.” Ritter swallows. “It’s just that….”

“That what? There should be nothing in your behavior that gives consideration to Agent Scully’s former partnership with Mulder.”

“I understand, sir.” Ritter nods. “I’ll let you know when she wakes up.”

“Thank you for the call, Agent.”

Ritter cuts the call and ponders what to do. He’ll face a hearing, that’s for sure. He needs her to pull through. He immediately feels terrible for the fact he thinks that if she dies, his career is likely over. But still, he thinks it. His survival depends on hers. Somehow, he figures this whole thing is Mulder’s fault. No matter what Kersh says, there’s something going on between these two.

He’s seen agents shot before, been in the hospital, taken the statements, filed the reports. He’s young, but not naive. The look in Mulder’s eye as he had held him to the wall was not just the look of a worried partner. It was the look of love terrified to lose its dearest object. Whatever’s going on between the two of them, Kersh clearly doesn't know the half -- the slimmest fraction -- of it.

Ritter lingers in the hospital awhile, waiting for the minute Mulder steps away so he can safely get some answers. He wanders corridors for hours, peeking his head around the narrow corner to check if Mulder’s finally gone. But he never leaves. Ritter watches him wring his hands and check his phone a dozen times. He sees him stand and peer through the small glass window of her door, his foot tapping on the cool linoleum. He sees him try to drink the little cups of bitter coffee, but Mulder doesn’t leave the hallway for a minute. It’s 10 p.m when Ritter finally goes, Mulder still gaunt-eyed and attentive at her door.

She sleeps all night and well into the morning. They had moved her to a private room at midnight once her vital signs were stable. Mulder walked along beside the cot despite the nurse’s protestations.

“We’ll just meet you up there, Mr. Mulder,” the orderly explained.

He shook his head. “I’m coming with you,” he mumbled in a stupor of exhaustion, reaching in his pocket for his badge in case his insistence weren’t enough. He needs to be there when she opens her eyes. He’s lost track of all the times she’s done the same for him.

Her room has a fold-out chair for visitors and sometime past 2 a.m he pulls it out and dozes off, draping his long coat over himself for warmth, the neon buzz of the machines as forlornly familiar as summertime cicadas.

Mid morning she begins to stir and Mulder sits up straight and moves his chair a little closer to the bed. She’s barely propped up, kept flat to keep her BP low, so he leans in so he can see her.

Scully feels as if she’s surfacing from underneath dark water, her limbs fluttering languidly back to life. Her eyes slide open in a groggy haze and she turns toward the hovering shape beside her. She hears a hitch of breath before she sees him.

“Hi, I’m Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to each other at the FBI.”

A smile he's crossed continents to witness creeps into her eyes, her dry mouth tries to turn up stiffly at the edges. Her nearby fingers tap against the bed, and he covers them with his.

The first week is a whirl of pain management and monitoring infection. Scully mostly passes in and out of sleep; she loses track of night and day beyond the routine vitals checks and interruptions. Maggie comes and keeps a vigil for the first few days -- Mulder had called her from the cab his first day there.

The second day that she’s awake, Scully turns her head and beckons Mulder closer. His jaw is dark with a wiry scruff of two-day beard. She nods at his rumpled dress shirt and his wrinkled pants and mumbles teasingly, “Mulder, you stink.”

“You’re one to talk, Ms. Spongebath,” he retorts with a grin.

“Clean up. Go Home.” She’s hoarse, but still commanding. “Mom’s here now. I’ll be fine.”

“But we don’t know how long you’ll be here,” he protests.

“It could be a while,” Scully sighs, “if what the doctors say is accurate. You’ll be expected back at work.”

“Maybe they can move you down to Washington?”

She shakes her head. “They won’t unless there’s pressing reason.” She shrugs. “But I’m serious, you have to go clean up.The nurses are starting to avoid my room.”

Mulder laughs and nods before bending down to press a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

The next morning Scully wakes and Maggie isn’t in the spot she had been the night before. Over the ambient beeping of machines, Scully hears her in the hall. She’s talking to someone, a low voice she knows well. Scully rolls her eyes and smiles as she hears Mulder insisting, “take the bagels, Maggie, I brought them for you.”

He maneuvers through the door, a duffel over one shoulder, his arms balancing a stack of books, a paper sack from the bagel shop and a couple styrofoam cups of coffee. He’s shaved and changed into worn jeans and thrown his leather jacket over a grey t-shirt. His eyes brighten when he sees that she’s awake.

“Room service,” he calls out as he enters, plopping his pile of books and things onto surfaces and side tables and chairs.

“Mulder, what are you doing here?” She croaks. “I thought I told you to go back to Washington?”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, I’m on leave now.” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

Scully’s eyes widen. “Kersh? Are you in trouble?”

“No, no,” Mulder shakes his head. “It’s not that. I’m taking some of all that built up leave that I’ve got coming. I don’t think HR knew what hit them when I sent in the paperwork this morning.”

“Mulder,” Scully sighs, “you don’t have to do this. I told you, my mom is here.”

“Scully, what else am I going to do? Sit around doing pointless background checks and scut work while you’re all the way up here?”

She knows when to stop protesting and lets him settle in the chair as if he has nowhere else to be, no grand quest to pursue, no other purpose than to sit here in this tiny room with her and watch her sleep.

“Besides,” he says once he’s comfortable, “I’ve been wanting to catch up on my reading.” He nods at the stack of books piled on the table, with New York Public library stickers fixed along their spines.

Scully tries to push up on her elbows and get a better look, and so he presses buttons to angle up the bed so she can see.

“I wasn’t sure what you’re in the mood for, so I brought a broad selection.”

“Oh really,” she smirks, ready to let him perform his usual show and tell. Ever since that first slideshow in the basement, he has never tired of showing her his finds. They have a pattern now, a dance. He holds up a dark-covered book.

“Elmore Leonard’s latest,” he waves it back and forth. “Crime fiction at its best,” he offers enticingly.

Scully shakes her head back and forth against the pillow. “I’m living in crime fiction, now. No, thank you.”

“Hmm,” Mulder doesn’t seem surprised and pulls another off of the pile. Scully almost blushes as she catches a glimpse of the scarlet-colored bodice-ripper. “The Immortal Queen and Her Rogue Knight. Whaddya say, Scully? I think I could do the voices.”

“No Harlequin,” Scully whispers, almost sad to disappoint him even though she knows he’s teasing. “And no immortal queens.”

“Ah,” he breathes slow. “Right.” He sets the book aside and reaches for another. “Third time’s a charm?” He holds up the next thick hardback with a question in his eyes.

Scully recognizes this one and she registers surprise. “Tolkien? Really?”

“Have you read it?” Mulder asks.

“Actually, you might be surprised to learn I have.”

“Was young Dana into fantasy?” He smiles.

“No, but her brother was,” says Scully.

“Bill?!” Mulder scoffs, unable to fathom the humorless, straight-edged man he’s met enjoying stories about elves and hobbits.

“Not Bill,” Scully shakes her head. “Charlie. He got really into them one summer and made me read them all. It was something we could talk about.”

“Did you like them?” Mulder is surprised, trying to expand his image of a logical young Scully to include this seemingly out-of-character information.

“I did. A little long, and wordy, but fun.” She smiles remembering Charlie and his earnestness, the hours they spent discussing elven languages and plot twists. “Let me guess, you were a fan?”

“I think you know me well enough to answer that,” Mulder smiles sheepishly.

“How many times?”

“What?”

“How many times did you read them?” Scully grins imagining gawky 14-year-old Mulder lost in Middle Earth, ignoring his mother calling him for dinner. She imagines how good it must have felt for him to escape into another world with everything that was going wrong for him in this one.

“I lost track a long time ago,” he chuckles. “A lot. A lot a lot a lot.”

“Well, I hope you don’t think I’m going to be in here long enough to read that whole thing.” Scully’s face betrays some rarely-displayed worry.

“Of course not,” Mulder says, laying a hand gently on her arm, “So far you’re doing great. I think you’ll be home in no time.”

She swallows a lump in her throat and does her best to lean toward him even as sharp darts of pain radiate from her abdomen every time she shifts her weight. Pain crinkles her forehead and she bites her lip in a grimace.

“Don’t move too much,” Mulder stops her movements. “Just tell me what parts you want to read.” He nods toward the steaming cups. “Can you have coffee yet?”

“Not yet,” she sighs and looks off toward the window in resignation. “Maybe you should read me the part with Eowyn in the Houses of Healing.”

“Ah, so you identified with Eowyn, I bet.” Mulder lifts the book and begins flipping through thin, feathery pages.

“Mulder, there are only two girls in the whole book, and one of them is an immortal Elf princess who has barely any lines.” She tilts her head toward him with a wry smile. “Who else was I going to identify with?”

“You forgot Galadrial,” he teases.

“Okay fine, three women. Two of whom aren’t even human.”

“So, let me guess, you wanted Eowyn to end up with Aragorn.” Mulder’s still paging through the heavy tome looking for the chapter.

Scully shrugs her shoulders slightly and smiles. “Well, duh, Mulder. He’s the hero, right?”

She pauses, watching his eyes move across the pages, taken aback for a moment by the gentleness in them, and a contentedness she rarely sees. A contentedness that’s surprising given present circumstances. Her heart constricts abruptly in a rush of gratefulness and affection. She reaches for his forearm and squeezes it gently, brushing a thumb through the fine hairs there. “Who did you identify with, Mulder? Who did you want to be?”

“Mainly, I would have to say Gimli.” His eyes twinkle.

“Ha!” Scully laughs sharply and then grabs her stomach. “Ow! Mulder! Don’t make me laugh!”

“Sorry!” He immediately looks worried and apologetic. “No, of course as a kid, everyone thinks they’re Frodo, right? The one who carries the Ring and defeats ultimate evil.”

Scully nods.

“But as I get older, I think the real hero there is Sam, you know.” He looks at her softly, but can’t quite meet her gaze. “His loyalty, his unwavering devotion to his friend. It all would have faltered without Sam. Frodo would have been lost by chapter two without him.”

Scully nods again and reaches for his hand, smoothing her thumb over top of his where he holds the book. Her memories of the week’s events replaying in her mind, she forms her thoughts into a question she ‘til now has been much too scared to voice.

“Mulder,” she mumbles, “you don’t think Fellig really was immortal, do you?”

Mulder shrugs. “I don’t know how else to explain it. So I guess, yes, he was.”

Scully’s eyes grow wide and worried. “So what does that mean for me?” Her voice is just a dry whisper.

“You mean, did he take your place?”

She nods slowly, a little embarrassed to be entertaining such thoughts.

“You know,” Mulder pauses, “Tolkien had this idea that death was actually a gift. He called it ‘the gift of men’ and the immortal creatures like the elves envied humans who were allowed to die and pass beyond the confines of this world.”

“I could see that,” Scully nods. “I saw that in Fellig, his envy of the dying.” She thinks about the photographs he took, their violent beauty, how he tried to catch a glimpse of the portal between this world and beyond. And she thinks about how Fellig had drained all the joy from this life by his longing for the next.

“But,” Mulder continues, “in Tolkien, even the immortal were allowed to give it up. Maybe if your attachment to this world -- and those you love -- is strong enough, you get to die beside them.”

“So, you only get the gift of death if you’ve first enjoyed the gift that is your life?” She’s trying to make sense of everything, spinning through the possibilities.

“Something like that,” Mulder nods. “Maybe Fellig’s problem was he wanted it too much?”

“Mulder,” she whispers, forcing him to look at her and lean close to hear. “I want all of life’s gifts. I’m not like Fellig.”

“No, you’re not.” Mulder’s eyes brim with unshed tears.

“I don’t want to become like him.”

“You won’t.” Mulder threads his fingers through her hand. “I promise.”

She looks up at him though glistening eyes and pins him with her gaze. “I don’t want you to become like him either.”

He nods in understanding. “I guess that means we need to do a little better at this living thing, is what you’re saying?”

“I think so,” her voice is rough and hoarse from too much talking. “Now, I’m tired. Are you gonna read to me or what?”

“Your wish is my command, O Queen.” Mulder finds his place and opens to the page. “Hey wait,” he startles and looks over at her, “isn’t this the chapter where Eowyn kisses Faramir?”

She shrugs and smiles wanly. “I can’t remember. Maybe?”

“You would pick the one chapter in this whole book that has kissing,” he says teasingly.

“I guess I gotta live vicariously,” she says with one raised eyebrow and a glint deep in her eyes.

Mulder smiles and reads aloud until her eyes drift closed. Then he reads on a little further until drowsiness sets in. He softly lifts her sleep-limp hand and presses it against his lips.

Before he drifts to sleep himself, he looks over at her sleeping form, her sweat-matted hair, the bruises on her forearms from the IV drip, the crusted skin at the corner of her mouth, the inhuman mess of tubes and wires running from her body to robotic grey machines, her doll-white skin like paper far too easily ripped, and a bluish shadow bruising in the curve beneath her eyes.

This is not the time he’d think to call her beautiful, but she is.

[lifeofkj]

Creativity and capitalism: a few thoughts from a fanfic writer

It's E3 time, and although I haven't been paying super-close attention, a few things have broken through. One of the harder stories to miss is the controversy over The Last Night, a side-scrolling platformer in a cyberpunk setting. Among other issues, the game seems to be set in a dystopia designed to be a critique of socialism (in contrast to most cyberpunk, which tends to be anti-capitalist). I'd seen a number of takes on the issue, but the one that broke through and inspired me to write my own thoughts was a Twitter thread by petercoffin (the thread and replies are recommended reading, both up and down).

I retweeted it a couple of days ago, with a promise to come back and say more, and here we are. My thoughts are going to be less about capitalism vs. socialism and the many issues with this specific game (Peter and the rest of the Internet have that aspect amply covered) and more about the economics of creativity, specifically the economics of fandom, which is where my creativity has lived for the past decade and more. I said in my tweet that I have "literally never" been paid in money for creative work; there are some hairs to split (I've written freelance a little bit, mostly advertising copy, and ladybusiness launched a Patreon about six months ago), but I think it's fair to say for the creative work that's personally meaningful to me -- fiction, fannish meta, book reviews, essays like this one, etc. -- I have never received renumeration. I consider this to be choice, because I have immersed myself in fandom, writing fiction of a type that I legally cannot sell. I've chosen not to write original fiction, or file the serial numbers off my fic; I've chosen not to pitch essays or reviews to paying venues; and I've chosen not to set up a personal Patreon or any kind of tip jar. Within my corner of fandom culture, we mostly accept that we're creating for the love of it, and for the personal satisfaction of sharing our creations with others.

So I look at a sentiment like the one that Peter describes, and it's alien to me. Many years ago, at my first FogCon, I got into a brief debate with a professional author during a panel about fanfiction, and why anyone would put time into writing something you couldn't sell. (Perhaps ironically, it was a panel about cyberpunk and other "-punk" genres.) Although my comments were well-received in the moment, the pro who raised the issue admitted that he still didn't really get it; he offered to continue the discussion over email, but I was too shy to take him up on it, so it ended there. I still think about it sometimes, though. There are plenty of people who undertake creative pursuits with no expectation of making them into a career: crafters, home cooks, musicians. I've never made money off music, either -- I actually pay for the privilege of singing in my chorus. Amateurs often create for love, in all kinds of fields. Why should writing be any different?

Fandom has an economy, of course. Most often it's described as a "gift economy", meaning that you publish your work as a gift to the community, with no expectation of receiving anything in return. Another, in my experience more accurate description, is the "attention economy". Instead of money, creators get "paid" in attention: likes, kudos, clicks, reviews. Both of these models are somewhat limited, and the "attention economy" frame in particular is still rooted in the paradigm of capitalism, but I think there's something worthwhile in both descriptions. One of my favorite articles on the subject is The Economics of Fandom: Value, Investment, and Invisible Price Tags by saathi1013, which goes into detail about the "work" it takes to be in fandom, and the different ways in which we value and/or are compensated for that work.

On the other hand, there are signs that this may be changing. In this respect, there's always been a disconnect in fandom between fanfic and fanart -- unlike fanfic, there's a long tradition of selling fanart: at comics conventions, for example, or via commissions. In professional comics circles, there's an expectation of sorts that artists will cut their teeth on fanart and perhaps even include it in their portfolio. And increasingly, fanfic authors have been questioning why they can't benefit from selling their work, too. I've known fanfic authors to take commissions, or set up Patreons. And the practice of "filing off the serial numbers" has gotten more transparent with the success of authors like E. L. James and Cassandra Clare. Everyone knows that 50 Shades of Grey was originally a Twilight AU, and that Clare was offered a book contract on the strength of her following in the Harry Potter and LoTR fandoms. As IP holders have grown less likely to bring down the hammer on fanfic authors, fanfic is coming out of the shadows. Can a growing commercial acceptance be far behind?

To me, maybe it doesn't matter. Although I certainly appreciate no longer living in fear that I'll receive a cease and desist letter someday, I don't know that I would try to sell my fic even if I were given the opportunity. Essays and reviews might be a different story, further down the road, but for now I'm happier where I am, in (what feels to me) like the lower-pressure environment of fandom, where I can write for the love of it, and in the hopes of finding fellow travelers who will love what I love with me.

x-posted from My Dreamwidth Journal | Feel free to reply here or comment there

[a-scribbling-intruder]

Fanfic Recs pt.1

Soo this was long overdue. I don’t really read fanfic that often, and when I do it is mostly things other people have reccomended to me. So i’ve always wanted to create my own rec list to return the favour, but somehow never got around to it. So yay years later, here’s at least a start. Will probably sort it better if i update it. Anyways if fanfic and any of these fandoms are your cup of tea, enjoy. Mostly gen and either humour or horror, it think. Fandoms included: Harry Potter, Death Note, MCU, LOTR, Sherlock Holmes, Original Fiction and weirdly, Samurai Champloo

Harry Potter (and Crossovers with Harry Potter)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9238861/1/Applied-Cultural-Anthropology-or Applied Cultural Anthropology (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Cruciatus)  (Hermione/Tom Riddle) Really well done, pairing is not the main focus (they’re not even together yet), instead hermione being her usual brilliant self but being sorted into slytherin. She isn’t just suddenly evil, she’s still righteous and wants to better the world. But exactly this (with a little help of a unassuming black diary) leads her down a slippery slope. (Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11160991/1/0800-Rent-A-Hero 0800-Rent-A-Hero. Harry has finally gotten rid of snake-face and settled down with Teddy and Andromeda. Cue inter-dimensional space vortex opening in his living room. Summoned from his finally peaceful life by Dumbledore and the Order to solve their voldemort problem, Harry is less than pleased. But can he truly just ignore them? Grudgingly „Harry White“  accepts the free post as divination teacher at hogwarts and starts befriending his female interdimensional counterpart, Iris Potter, all while wanting to get revenge on Dumbledore and trying not to get too involved with Tonks… The beginning is a bit grizzly but overall it is definitely  more on the humorous side, and also poking fun at so many fandom chliches! (Last updated 6 months ago, so there is still hope…)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10954546/1/Framed-Fractured Framed and fractured. During the fiendfyre-incident in the Room of Requirement Harry barely escapes through some kind of black hole. Now he’s stuck as a painting in the RoR, with a surprisingly sane, young and healthy looking Tom Riddle as the only visitor. The painting only decipts a bleak room, the door is shut and strange shadows lurk in the 4th wall whenever the RoR is not used. There is also an old diary there, speaking of monsters just outside of the room… – very interesting start, tom and harry haven’t really interacted yet but the descriptions of the timelessness in the painting and the “unexplained horror” vibe are fab. (Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10136762/21/ The Case of the Man who was wanted. (Harry Potter x Sherlock crossover) Harry Potter lives as a fugitive after being accused and imprisoned of a string of murders after the defeat of voldemort. Sherlock gets called to solve the case of the mysterious death of the Dursley couple in Surrey and finds known terrorist and fugitive Harry Potter inside, who, unexpectedly, claims to be innocent. Sherlock gets involved in not only the world of witchcraft and wizardry, but also in a strange man who seems kind of hollow and has many well-kept secrets… (Again, the kind of lovecraftian creepy horror vibe i love. Ongoing.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11115934/1/The-Shadow-of-Angmar The Shadow of Angmar. (HP x LOTR crossover) Harry gets summoned by the witch king as „the master of Death“. Broken and battered, he starts searching for a way home in an unknown world where his magic doesn’t work. Has FANTASTIC world building and a very bitter and world-weary Harry. (Ongoing)

Marvel Cinematic Universe

http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/425428 The Calculator by katsu. THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANFIC IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Just imagine Good Omens but more superheroes-and-supervillain themed. Loki is not going full villain like in the thor movie, but instead is more of a chaotic-neutral kind of guy more keeping the supervillainery for appearance’s sake and the occasional meddling to aleviate the boredom. But then he takes the meddling a bit too far, and karme comes to bite him in the butt. Big time. I really don’t want to say more about the plot bc it is so brilliant and original. Just read it. Also, have a quote (this is only a footnote, actually, so imagine what the real fic mus be like): “yes, he had filled several little leather-bound diaries with childish scrawls of red ink that read things like, “Die Thor” and “You never really accepted me!” And then he’d attended a few sessions of primal scream therapy and taken a modern dance course at the local community college. Between finding a constructive way to express his anger and making some lovely friends that he still had tea with every Wednesday afternoon while they chatted manicures, fashion, and lap dogs, he felt much more comfortable in his own skin these days. All it had really taken was escaping the poisonously macho atmosphere of Asgard, which according to Kevin was something like living in Omaha and not being interested in Football.“

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5460221 Genesis by teaberryblue. Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers.  According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend.In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice. She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield. Featuring a slightly different cast as the Avengers and brilliant discussion of gender issues, kinda whimsical-poetical writing style. (Oneshot, completed.)

Death Note

http://archiveofourown.org/works/461685 Murmur in the Shell. Light Yagami’s dead, L is dead. Yet the idea of them stays in the world, embodied by black notebooks that always will fall. History repeats, even if nobody wants to be a part of it. After all, there will always be new players. (Near, new!Kira. Really nice, jus a short ficlet about the roles we sometimes must play and the ideas of dead men  we pick up along the way.) (Oneshot, completed).

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9380249/2/ Rationalising Death. Light Yagami finds the Death Note, we know the rest. But in this story, light talks all his steps through with his inner voices (like „Test It“ aka „Death“, Moral which everyone kinda ignores and also could be called Caution, or Practice). Its less cracky than it sounds now, i promise. Rather, it’s a very interesting character study bc it doesn’t just paint Kira as a sociopath with a god-complex (well, that too -) but explains his actions as being very, very human (while not excusing them). Seems to be dead at 10 chapters but i still would recommend reading it bc its brilliant, the style is a bit like hpmor’s. It explains the thought processes of everyone (L, Light, Misa, Ryuk, all that jazz)) very thoroughly and is also quite amusing (light comparing hinself to batman consantly, e.g.). But the best part is probably Misa’s characterisation (i’m not gonna spoil it for you but omg) –> https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10580913/1/Rationalising-Fiction Rationalising Fiction also check out this nice lil’  timestamp (recursive ff?) of another author wherein Misa realises she is a fictional character. Very meta, very lovely.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8415898/1/God-of-the-Machine God of the Machine by The Carnivourous Muffin. The OC/SI Anna Jones suddenly appears in Light Yagami’s bedroom. When you read about fictional characters they can fall kind of flat, not that they’re not interesting but you always know they’re not really like you. Light seems less scary, L less creepy and Misa… well Misa always seems insane, even in the Manga. So Anna Jones is fucking terrified, curses herself for not paying better attention to the details in the manga and has to consider her survival and the prices she’s willing to pay. (Yes, this is the Self-Insert Trope but played so well. Also very philosophical. Ongoing. Also, go read everything by this author while you’re at it.)

Other

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9915682/5/ The Last Christmas. A industrial engineer takes up the mantle of santa claus and gets some dangerous ideas about the true meaning of Christmas… (No fandom, or is that like the mythology fandom?, anyways, it’s creepy and give’s you some food for thought, although the story itself isn’t that polished. Very interesting and original take on santa claus!) (Completed.)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2865379/1/Nenju Nenju. Samurai Champloo. Because no anime has ever kindled a bigger need for a love triangle. This one’s fairly good and really long, with a nice dose of angst but a happy ending. (Mugen/Fuu, Jin/Fuu, Mugen/Yanusha)

[hisgirlinthewhitedress]

@thestateofardadreaming asked me to tell you all about 10 favorite characters, in 10 different fandoms.  

The first characters will be the ones I need to say more about. So here you:

Contessina De’Bardi (Medici:Masters of Florence)

I had started to watch the show for Richard Madden and I found myself to irreparably fall in love with Contessina. This woman is a force of nature, smart, resilient, loyal,bold, direct, self-reliant, brave, empathetic, loving. She’s a feminist of her time. I could hear her own version of Lemonade as she was going through years and years of marriage with a man who pretended to be a martyr and as she was giving lessons of Feminism™ to Lucrezia.

“there are more ways for a woman to be indispensable than just bearing children”

She got all the traits I want in a female character. 

Jack Shephard (Lost) 

He’s the main character of the show, he’s the leader, if it hadn’t been for him, some wouldn’t have survived a day on that island. He’s a hero, but not in a conventional way. He’s damaged, hurt, he lost so much in life, he fucked up very hard in his life and he doesn’t know how to fix his mistakes, his problems.

Jack’s character development is one of the greatest i’ve ever seen on any show, I lived his journey along with him, I was there with him in his path from man of science to man of faith. I felt it when he was crushed in the post-island period, I felt his pain, his suffering, his constant torment, it was real. Thank you Matthew Fox for the amazing acting.

“Jack, I wish you had believed me” John Locke

Obi Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

Oh my Obi Wan! my burnt, heartbroken, damaged jedi 💔

tbh, if I talk about Obi Wan, I immediately talk about Anakin. I actually love them both on equal measure, but I choose Obi Wan, because I suffered for him.

I remember when I first watched the original trilogy and I really wanted to know what it was like Obi Wan and Anakin’s relationship. Then I watched the prequels, I ended up hurt, heartbroken, crushed because of these two.

They loved each other immensely. Obi Wan became not such a good jedi because he loved Anakin way more than a Master should care about his Padawan. He could have never killed Anakin because he loved him too much, his brother, his son, his life. Anakin’s betrayal destroyed him completely. He died on Mustafar along with Anakin, he was dead inside and kept living as Ben watching over Anakin’s son for 20 years. That’s commitment, that’s pure, selfless love. 

I swear, If I could have a scene in the next Star Wars movies with Anakin and Obi Wan reunited...it’d be...I mean, Obi Wan happy and in peace...too many feelings to handle.

Logan Huntzberger (Gilmore Girls)

yeah, yeah I know he’s not a main character and on a show that is based on the life of the Gilmore Girls...it’s a really questionable choice, but fuck it, I love Logan Huntzberger. I truly, deeply love him. He’s not perfect, he makes lots of mistakes, he lives a pretty privileged life with a 5 million dollar trust fund, he’s been a jerk at times? yes, sure and once out of jealousy to see his girlfriend with her own ex (WHO DOES THAT? *sarcasm*) 

But you know why I love Logan? Because he’s very well aware of his privilege, because he’s not fake, because he’s been honest with Rory since day 1, committed to her even though it scared him to be in a relationship, they both made mistakes along the way, but endured, loved, supported each other; the non commitment kind of guy became a great boyfriend Rory could count on, he became a better person for her.  Logan seems only just fun and LDB, but he’s always been more than that, I knew it since the first interaction with Rory: he stimulates her to confront each other’s point of view, he encourages her to speak her mind, he supports in any choice and doesn’t push her. He’s well-read, has a great education,  a quick, witted mind and high level of general knowledge. If I could have a spin-off with Logan and his family, because those dynamics were very interesting to watch. 

I looked beyond the facade and saw an incredible character. 

TVD!KLAUS 

This motherfucker was my favorite villain on tvd.

The Originals Klaus? Forget about him, that’s not Klaus. That’s a version that Carina McKenzie, Michael Narducci and Julie Plec dream of him and they got the damn possibility to show it on scree. Kevin Williamson I’m sure is disgusted by that. It’s not like he’s ever gonna say it, but we all know it.

Seriously, go back and watch S2/S3, but even S4 of TVD. That was Klaus Mikaelson, one of the most feared characters of that world, everyone literally lost their shit at the mention of Klaus’s name, he was everyone’s nightmare. He despised humans, got a badass family who hated the shit out of him, he had no moral, no ethic. Only Caroline Forbes was becoming his weakness, slowly, inadvertently she was becoming his only way to redemption

and you know what they did with him? he got a little werewolf pregnant (like what? seriously?), he’s threatened by everyone, no one gives a shit he’s Klaus Mikaelson, he’s got a daughter he named HOPE (that’s lame as fuck “you’re our only hope”...please...Obi Juan is our only hope) and his whole badass Original family has become the weakest, lamest thing I’ve ever seen on tv. 

SO basically, if you’re interested in watching Klaus Mikaleson, watch S2/3 of TVD. TO is shit.

Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)

(gif purposefully used for the haters)

Pay attention, I’m not talking of book!Daenerys, I think we’ve come to a point we need to divide the characters.

She’s so hated in the fandom, I read any kind of comments and everyone be like: “she’s boring, lame”, “she’s there only because of Tyrion”

Listen, I really don’t wanna impose my opinion, but I admire Daenerys for everything she’s done till now. She’s done plenty of mistakes and questionable choices and I have no idea if her destiny is to become like her father, the Mad King, but you gotta have some balls to be a woman in that period of time and get what she achieved. She’s a woman and she somehow handles to be respected and when she’s not, she earns the respect she deserves. 

Daenerys, as many other main female characters, can be decently treated because she has a name, a name she often uses and you know why? because for Daenerys, her name is her armor, her mean to get the respect of men, to get a voice in a room full of men who would probably like to rape her. She’s strong, fierce, determine and extremely flawed. I love her. 

I hate her now. Don’t even count the shit I wrote. What the fuck was I even thinking????

Frodo Baggins (LOTR)

idk, I just...I constantly want to protect him (and Sam), as I was watching the movies I was always like “protect Frodo!!”. I’ve never read the book, so I might change my mind, but in general I love many characters.

Pamela De Beaufort (True Blood)

True to herself till the very end. The writers didn’t spare not even Eric in that last, pathetic season.

I was so afraid, they would kill her off along with Eric, but they didn’t. She actually got her happy ending with Eric and that’s what I truly loved about the finale. 

Titus Andromedon (the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt)

He’s just Titus. You all need to watch the show to understand 

Jessica Day (New Girl)

She’s a cinnamon roll in love with Nick Miller. She’s adorable, funny, quirky and supportive. I don’t understand why I read so many people saying that she’s annoying. I love her and Zooey Deschanel is amazing

I don’t wanna leave people behind as I tag, so if you wanna do it, do it!!

[fauxsciencedork]

EVERY MULTIPLE OF 3!!! FOR THE FANFICTION ASK!!!

OMG

3. name three favorite writers

I can’t tell if this means fic writers or like published writers? I’m not good at this question. :D Though I will say back when I read more real books I was a total cliche Stephen King fan, and Neil Gaiman’s American Gods is the only novel I’ve ever read where afterwards I thought ‘I will never be able to do that, I should curl up and die.’ Also I love cheesy thrillers. And Pride and Prejudice, apparently. Also Captain Corelli’s Mandolin made me cry recently. Actual tears. Carlo did, anyway, fuck Corelli. 6. how did writing change you?

It’s hard to tell. I’ve been writing little stories for myself as far back as I can remember, almost, so who knows what I would have been without it. It’s definitely given me an outlet that’s seen me through some really hard times. It’s given me a way to express emotion, since I’m not so good at that face to face, or even in my own head sometimes. It’s given me a way to fit into fandoms, when I’m mostly quiet and socially awkward (or ranting and pissed). It’s a little like acting, too, where it lets you leave your own head for a while and be someone else. That’s always welcome. 9. do you set yourself deadlines?

Hell no, and I absolutely without a doubt should, because I am a fucking slacker. I only ever commit to times if it’s for a challenge or a birthday or whatever.12. favorite place to write

I like coffee shops, the constant movement around me helps settle my ADHD down a bit. But I’ve learned to stop paying too much attention to where I am, otherwise that’s just one more way to procrastinate. “Oh, let me wait to write this until tomorrow when I can go to this Starbucks and score an armchair and really focus.” Uh huh.15. hardest verse to write

None I’ve tried so far. I like AUs, generally, and if something’s gonna be hard I generally, like, don’t write it? I’ll say A/B/O, since I’ve never tried it and feel like unless I got the right angle on a story I’d be shit at it. 18. favorite pairing to write 

Cisco Ramon/Anyone Awesome. Which so far has basically been Cisco/Joe. Or Cisco/Iris/Linda. Or Cisco/Melinda Torres (I have a super long story I will never finish and so never put up with these two, and it’s adorbs). Soon to be Cisco/Wally.21. least favorite character to write

I think Caitlin’s the one I have the least flair for, so she tends to take a back seat in my stories. I love her and Cisco’s friendship, so what scenes she is in are fun to write. But yeah, I don’t have much feel for her. I like writing everyone, though, as long as I can write them the way I see them. Like if I somehow got stuck writing Hartley as a doting romantic partner I’d hate writing him, because that’s not who he is.  24. favorite scene you’ve ever written

OMG, you know. I think it’s actually a scene from a LotR story I wrote ages ago, featuring Boromir and Merry talking about Boromir’s view of his people. I have no idea why, I’m just super proud of it. I got a lot of feedback on that one from people who didn’t like Boromir from the movies but found themselves seeing a whole other side of him after reading it. I assume they didn’t read the books, but who knows. :D27. best review you ever got

Oh man. A girl reviewed a Glee story of mine on a tumblr post with sections and subsections and a thesis and evidence to support it (literally, I think she said she was a grad student in English or Lit or whatever), all glowing and sales-pitching it to people who weren’t fans of the pairing. It was rad. But then I also had some really short, emotional ones. I literally had someone tell me that a sad chapter of one of my stories was the reason why they told their mom they loved her for the first time in months. I mean holy shit. Also one of my faves was a physics grad student who wrote me out why my particular criticism of transporter theory as stated in a ST Reboot fic was wrong, because it really ought to have been THIS criticism instead. Like it was super technical and sciencey and all grim about the feasibility of transporters and it was a favorite. 30. hardest part of writing

Editing. I don’t pay it nearly enough attention, I am awful about writing the last sentence of a chapter and then opening AO3 because who needs to even reread it much less edit? I’m getting better about that, slowly, but man. 33. alternate ending for (insert story title)

You obviously didn’t single out a story, so I’m trying to think if there’s one I had a whole different idea for initially. Erm. I tend to stick to plan most of the time, so. If there’s a specific one you want me to invent a different ending for, lemme know. 36. one-shot or multi-chaptered story?

Pfft. The times I’ve managed to contain an idea in a one-shot have been few and far between. I love long. 39. do you want to be published some day?

I will be. Damn it. 

42. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

Both? Since I like long plotty things I do plan those out, but very loosely. Basically I make a list of things that need to happen, and then I go nuts around that list and write whatever I want. Usually my one-shots come because I get a random idea and just write it there on the spot. 45. share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet

Well, it’s a WIP and still under heavy construction, but. It’s a hard AU, urban fantasy, kinda dark, starring Wally West as the most important person alive, Iris as the most soft and loving ass-kicking hero in the world, Barry as the villain she totally seduces to the good side, and Cisco as the bright light in Wally’s grim world. Also it’s like hard core ensemble, on top of Wallisco and Westallen there’s Caitlin/Ronnie, Snart/Rory, Lisa/Linda. It’s a whole thing. 48. three spoilers for (insert story title)

I’ll do SIMH since that’s my big WIP right now. Erm. 

Kendra makes a personal appearance finally, though it takes everything going to shit to bring her in. 

They catch the bad guy surprisingly easily. 

No they don’t.