#and sometimes i wish ferrari had someone to do the same for them

[leqclerc]

re. the upset at Ferrari contesting Carlos' penalty, I think part of it is the worry that it might eat into Ferrari's political capital with the FIA with little chance of success, on top of being time and money down the drain. There's been an ongoing worry that Ferrari doesn't have enough political sway vs. say Mercedes or RBR, which is ofc exacerbated by the effects of the TD last season. Imo, that shouldn't be a factor even if I think the appeal is doomed to fail but /shrugs/

Ngl it's strange to see the FIA = Ferrari International Assistance narrative still alive and kicking in some parts of the internet, because I swear for the past few years they've mostly been getting the short end of the stick in that department.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

the one where Y/n and Charles had different priorities

this is maybe a bit chaotic because I had one idea and unclear vision, but I like how it turned out eventually

view all comments

username1 How do you know? HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

username2 They have WHAT

username3 nah I don't believe in love anymore

username4 But they were together since even before Charles was in formula 1🥺

↳username2 Right? I thought they'll be together forever

username5 And there goes my hope for them to announce an engagement soon

↳username6 Sameeee except I thought someday they'll just have a secret wedding and not tell the media until weeks/months after

username5 Ngl that sounds like a them thing to do

username6 Well, not anymore

username7 My only question is why? 😭

↳username1 Literally because they seemed like a perfect couple. What could go wrong?

username8 Shit, that hurts more than my parents' divorce

username9 THEY BROKE UP AFTER 8 YEARS??

↳username10 what 😳

username9 They were together since 2016, I remember Charles saying this in some interview

username6 Yup that's right, he mentioned it many times, he was so in love with Y/n. I swear even recently he said after so many years he still falls in love more and more each day

username9 She was there for him when his dad passed, when Charles joined F1, when he signed up with Ferrari, when he won his first F1 race, I wonder what happened that made them break up so suddenly

username10 Oh so she was there for basically a huge part of his life

username5 I remember when Charles said "she's not a part of my life. She IS my life" about Y/n😭my standards for men have been high up in space ever since

username11 Wow just like Sainz broke up with his long term girlfriend last season. Let's just hope Leclerc won't pop up with a new girl weeks after that

↳username12 Charles and Y/n could be broken up for a long time now, we can only speculate when they broke up

username5 Imagine if Charles posted the Vegas vlog after their breakup 🥹 I'm not okay

username12 That was so unnecessary to say, I'm crying now

yourusername One for the money, two for the show, I never was ready so I watch you go

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username1 The caption guys...

↳username2 Does that mean what I think it means?

username3 What do you think it means?

username2 "I never was ready" he wanted to take things to the next level, but she didn't. "So I watch you go" means she had to let him go because they didn't want the same thing

username3 How could she not be ready after whole 8 years?

username2 Every person matures in their own time and that's okay, they'll both find someone else

username4 That's a Swiftie going through a breakup

username5 Noooo it's confirmed now 😭 as long as neither of them confirmed it I could stay delulu and think the rumours are just rumours

oldersister Thank you for babysitting Snow White 🐈‍⬛ (I wish there was a white cat emoji)

↳yourusername It was my pleasure! She's an angel (and a professional model)

oldersister Feel free to come over anytime you want, Snow White loves her aunt 🤍

youngersister HEY how dare you steal Y/n like that!! I wanted to take her out for milkshakes sometime

oldersister Chill, you can do that whenever you want I'm not stealing anyone

yourusername I'd love to go out for milkshakes!!

lilymhe No more Y/nLily in the paddock?

↳yourusername The paddock isn't the only place where we can hang out 😂

landonorris what are you up to on the 2nd pic? 🤨📸

↳username2 LANDO, DON'T

↳username4 LANDO IT'S TOO EARLY

↳username1 DONT RUIN OUR CHANCES TO HAVE Y/NCHARLES BACK

↳username1 Fuckboy Lando been doing too much fuckboying lately

username6 Didn't know she's a smoker

↳username7 Yeah, she was very secretive about it

username2 It's not like she was hiding it from y'all

username7 She was, probably because she would be canceled for being a wag who smokes cigarettes

username2 A grown woman can do what she wants

username6 It's better that they broke up, way healthier for Charles to not be around a smoker

username2 Wtf she was with him through bad and good times, supporting him no matter what, loving him, making beautiful memories together and you say it's good that they broke up because she smokes?

username4 May I add we never saw her smoking throughout the 8 years, she probably started after the breakup

username5 after the breakup or BECAUSE of the breakup?

charles_leclerc Leaving Bahrain with a good result despite some difficulties. Pretty good weekend if you ignore the braking problem, now onto Jeddah next 🏎

view all comments

username1 brAking problem or brEAking problem?

username2 How is that the start of the season and there's already something wrong with his car?

yourusername Congratulations on finishing P4🏁given the issues your car had, you did a spectacular job

↳charles_leclerc Thank you 😇 I tried my best, but felt like something is missing

yourusername I'm sorry :(

↳username3 WHAT IS Y/N DOING HERE? ARE THEY BACK TOGETHER?

username4 I wish I could believe they are, but I guess some people break up on good terms

username3 How could anyone end a 8yrs old relationship and be friends? 😭

↳username5 Jail for miss Y/n for leading fans on

username6 He looked so sad the whole time, during interviews and all that 😔

↳username7 Yeah he's either done with the car already or he misses Y/n that much

username8 DID Y'ALL SEE THAT ONE INTERVIEW WHERE HE GOT ASKED ABOUT Y/N NOT BEING IN BAHRAIN??

↳username6 WHAT INTERVIEW??

username8 A lady asked him why Y/n isn't here because she never missed the first race of the season before so it's surprising. He officially said that over the winter break they've decided to part ways due to focusing on different aspects of life🥲

username9 How do you figure something like this out after 8 fucking years? They wasted each other's time

username7 Calm down lol they grew and matured with each other, experienced how their love evolved throughout the years, no time you put into this is a wasted time

username10 I need to know what are the aspects of life they focus on and if they really are that different

↳username11 From what I figured from Y/n's post and Charles' interview - he wanted to get married, maybe even start a family and she wasn't ready

username10 Ahhh I remember how a few years ago Charles said he wants to have three kids. Such a shame Y/n doesn't want the same thing, but it's understandable they figured it now. They were kids themselves when they started dating lol

username11 Not really, they were both over 18 years old

username10 I know, but still that's a pretty young age and you might not know yet what do you really want in life

username12 Plus your brain develops until you're 25, they both turn 27 this year so it explains a lot

username13 I'm telling you, there would be no problems if Y/n was there, @/yourusername get your lazy ass on a plane to Jeddah

oldersister Amazing performance this weekend👏

youngersister Goodluck for Jeddah 🍀

username14 The way Y/n AND her sisters still interact with Charles on social media...

↳username15 Yeah like are they actually broken up??

3 weeks later

yourusername You'd be surprised if I told you why kangaroos are called kangaroos

view all comments

username1 What is miss doing in Australia during the race week?

oldersister I told you this story is fake 🙄

↳yourusername But it's funny so I'm gonna believe it

oldersister Kangaroo DOESN'T mean "I don't know" jesus christ

username2 I thought it does 😭

username3 Too much Tiktok I guess lmao

youngersister Glad I could have milkshakes with you in Australia 😌

↳yourusername Back at you although that was a strange excuse to go to Australia in the first place

youngersister It's just not the same in Europe

arthur_leclerc Y/n in her natural habitat🦘

↳yourusername I swear I was a kangaroo in a past life

↳username4 What is going on? Y/n and Charles broke up but they keep interacting with each other and each other's families

username5 I NEED to know which city it is

username6 Is that true all announcements on public transport are made with Oscar Piastri's voice??

↳yourusername Yup, I wonder how much convincing it took to get Oscar to do the voiceover

landonorris not a lot to be honest

username5 AHA so she is in Melbourne! Also, what are you doing here Lando?

landonorris do you wanna hear another aussie fun fact?

↳yourusername I'm scared but yes (as long as it's not about thongs)

landonorris do you know what an australian kiss is?

yourusername @/oscarpiastri please put Lando back in his cage

username7 HELP I'M GASPING FOR AIR, LANDO ALWAYS TAKES THE CHANCE TO SHOOT HIS SHOT

username8 Not gonna lie it pisses me off how Lando tries to "flirt" with Y/n in her comments

↳username2 Me too, it's not ethical

username9 I'm afraid Lando doesn't care lol and I don't think Y/n would ever consider going out with another driver considering Charles and her broke up on good terms

username10 I'm just wondering if norris ever tried funny business back when Y/n would come to races

↳username11 prolly not but hey now he's free to do it

username5 Just because he's free to do it doesn't mean he should do it

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username2 OH 😃

username3 So that's what she's doing in Australia

username4 Wait why is Jacob Elordi in Australia?

↳username2 Well, Jacob is Australian, why wouldn't he be there?

username4 HE'S AUSTRALIAN?!

username5 One thing Charles can't beat is the height 😩

↳username6 Is it worth it tho? Jacob treated his exes pretty badly, he's a cheater

username5 And? People change

username6 Bro, he cheated on Zendaya

username5 Chill out, maybe Y/n isn't even on a date with him, maybe they're just hanging out

username7 If I were Y/n I would enter my hoe phase now and Jacob is a good choice to start with

username8 THIS CAN'T BE TRUE

username9 Charles where are you? 😭 Y/n is a sweetheart, she shouldn't be with Jacob

username10 Sometimes I regret opening this app

username11 Didn't Jacob attend a few races? Is that were he met Y/n?

↳username12 Keep saying things like this and watch gossip unfold about how Y/n was waiting to leave Charles for Jacob

username13 Miss girl did a downgrade

↳username14 Is it a downgrade though if he's that tall?

username13 He can be as tall as he wants, but Charles was Y/n's soulmate and I'll always stand by that

username9 Plus the height doesn't make up for the personality

username14 What personality? 💀 Girl you don't even know him

username9 Someone who cheats on their partner clearly isn't a very pleasant person to date

username5 CALM DOWN GUYS we can't be sure they were on a date, it could be just two friends catching up

username9 what friends? I've never even seen them talk before and there were opportunities

yourusername Don't panic guys, I've been spending most of the time with @/youngersister and her aussie friends

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youngersister Yeah, I clearly didn't set you up for a date with a certain actor...

↳username1 SHE SET Y/N UP WITH HIM?!

username2 Evil mastermind

username3 How did that even happen lmao

↳yourusername Thankfully it didn't go as good as you'd wish it would 😌

youngersister No worries, I have other options up my sleeve

yourusername Keep them up there 🤺

↳username4 I'm confused is [younger sisters name] team Charles or not?

username5 She's just a menace it seems

username6 What's up with Y/n? She didn't wanna be with Charles, but she doesn't wanna move on. That's not normal

youngersister Don't make me set you up with Lando

↳yourusername You'd never, I know you think he's annoying

youngersister Yeah, but he gives me that vibe of a guy who can make you forget about your ex

yourusername That's called a fuckboy

youngersister You deserve a bit of fun don't you 🥳 I'm not saying you have to go straight back to being in a relationship

yourusername NO THANK YOU

username5 Lmao I love how they're having this convo here instead of on dms

username6 OR FACE TO FACE??

username7 Why does Y/n's lil sis support the idea of Y/n having a hoe phase? 😭

landonorris I was hoping you'd come see the race;)

↳yourusername Better luck next time I guess :)

a few months later

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username1 YEAH I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL???

username3 I can't defend Charles anymore

username4 Apparently her name is Angeliqué and she's a daughter of some French entrepreneur (a/n: I made her up)

username5 I didn't want Charles to move on, I wanted him to be back with Y/n 😭

↳username6 Worse thing is, Charles moved on but Y/n didn't. She went on this weird staged date with Jacob Elordi a few months ago and that's it

username7 NOOO 😭😭

username8 Charles better say sike now 🔫

username9 Please tell me it's a joke

username10 It truly feels like some part of me being torn apart knowing that Y/n and Charles broke up for good and he moved on

username11 Do we really know nothing about what's going on with Y/n? She must feel terrible now, I'm sure she saw that Angeliqué girl on TV

↳username9 What makes you think she would still watch races?

username11 It seemed like her and Charles are on friendly terms, so why wouldn't she still watch his races?

↳username12 She hasn't posted anything since Australia, went hella private, she ISN'T okay, I think she even stopped hanging out with Lily M

username13 I did some more research and that Angeliqué girl is 20 years old

↳username12 So we're supposed to believe that Y/n who is Charles' age wasn't ready to start a family, but a 20 year old Charles met weeks ago is? Charles, explain yourself

username9 Honestly the new girl seems just like a distraction from Y/n or a PR relationship

username12 You might be right, maybe Charles can't forget about Y/n so he went with "wanna get over, get under someone new"

username14 Nahhhh cuz she was all over Charles whenever she could and he looked so done 💀 that's definitely a stunt

↳username1 Literally, she was always hugging him, touching, holding hands, she barely let him interact with fans, Y/n was so much better AND she always respected Charles' fans

username15 imagine not being able to move on for MONTHS so your pr team finds you a fake gf

yourusername Excuse the inactivity, I've been watching Gilmore Girls

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username1 Very understandable in this case

username2 Our Rory Gilmore finally watching the og Rory Gilmore 🙏

oldersister I'm afraid Snow White might like you more than she likes me 😂

↳yourusername I'm the cool aunt 🤭

youngersister Excuse me???

yourusername I said what I said

youngersister And I don't agree with what you said

yourusername Would you watch Gilmore Girls with Snow White? Nope. I do. So I win the cool aunt competition

username3 Guys... When did Charles unfollow Y/n?

↳username2 He unfollowed?

username3 Yeah... He didn't comment nor even like, so I went to check and he doesn't follow Y/n anymore but she still follows him

username2 Ouch that hurts

username4 I don't care that Charles doesn't follow Y/n anymore, what counts is that she is happy 😊 look at the last pic, she's so adorable with Snow White

↳username5 True, she looks happy and healthy while Charles is out there having to put up with a fake girlfriend

username6 What's funny is that Charles doesn't follow Y/n anymore, but both his brothers and majority of F1 drivers do

↳username7 including the ones who followed her after the breakup 😏

username8 Don't try to make up new rumours, Y/n is single and happy

username9 Not to be mean but... It says something about Charles that he had to unfollow

↳username6 He either thought it'll help him forget or the new girlfriend made him unfollow

username9 Either way it tells us he's still thinking about Y/n

landonorris been a while since I last saw you

↳yourusername Let's see how long we can keep the streak up

username6 SLAAAAAY QUEEN

username10 I'll never be over the Y/nCharles breakup, I'm still going through it months after

↳username11 That's okay because so is Charles

username12 Tbh in Y/n's place I would just take the chance and go for Lando, just to prove that Charles' PR relationship is in vain

↳username2 That's not something Y/n would do, but if she ever did that I would support her

Username13 dating men is so much stress, why bother while you can sit at home with a cat watching Gilmore Girls instead?

[covenists]

✦ THE BOY IS MINE, O. BEARMAN

is where you're in a mission to prove that ollie is yours, but little did you know that he's also going to do the same to prove that you are his.

fc: pdm.clara on instagram

taglist: @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1 @auggieblogs @namgification @charli123456789 @cherry-piee

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

👤: ＠olliebearman liked by paularon_, and 227,286 others

yourusername 💗🐈

view all 29,610 comments

username you guys are so cute

username This account used to be a proper country. WHAT HAPPENED??

username Oh God me when? When me?

username i love them parents i wish they last long

username once she posted about ollie, i knew something was happening

⤷ username How'd u know?

  ⤷ username instinct 👨🏻‍🦲

  ⤷ username Bro's turning into an X-Men

username and today i wish i was a cat

username bf material who loves cat ollie is on top

kimi.antonelli I miss your cat, I love him so much

  ⤷ username Meanwhile Kimi when he saw Percy: PEEERCCCCYYYYYY👹👺☠️👺👺

username i literally just saw his tiny piece of his side chest with a cat beside him and man i love it

yourusername

liked by arthur_leclerc, and 682,561 others

yourusername Late night foods

view all 36,826 comments

paularon_ Being productive, aren't you? 😆

username future chef oliver is here

username erase the driver, replace it with chef he'll be

username god bless her for posting this

username ollie bearman, personal chef for ferrari

username I want them (to be at my house)

username imagine eating those warm pizzas at night, chilling while watching netflix... with him

username Mother and father is parenting with no child

  ⤷ yourusername Child?

  ⤷ username Mom???????????

yourusername

liked by lailahasanovic, and 736,648 others

yourusername NY streeeeeeets

view all 33,641 comments

olliebearman My sweet little princess 🫶🏻😗

  ⤷ yourusername 🤗🤗🤗💗

  ⤷ dinobeganovic_ Come pick him up if you can

  ⤷ username ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT WE KNOW 😭😭😭

username okay, i'm so happy for you two (crasing sounds)

frederikvestiofficial Who is a person who wore their watch upside down like that

username idk if i want to be ollie or y/n rn

username I love when she's bragging him like yes we know it's yours

username Thinking about his friends rn, are they had enough with him like this or nah? 🤔

  ⤷ paularon_ Sometimes we certainly are

yourusername

liked by olliebearman, and 944,120 others

yourusername Think I like you best when you're just with me. And no one else 🎶

view all 43,279 comments

username OH GAW DANG PLEEEEEEAASSEEEE

username he looks so damn cute here idk why, how and what

username Do you guys have any other job like... Not making me jealous??

username sometimes it was like... he is so cute. i wish he were real

username The hand holding one is really really sweet. It reminds me so much of my parents when they're together.

arthur_leclerc I think it's quite dangerous when I look up to your account after someone hit him up

  ⤷ yourusername Let them see

  ⤷ frederikvestiofficial 🥶🥶🥶

  ⤷ kimi.antonelli Why am I having goosebumps?

olliebearman

👤: ＠yourusername liked by racerbia, and 749,660 others

olliebearman Mine, mine, mine.

view all 33,628 comments

username YES WE KNOW WE KNOOOW WE KNOOOOOOOOWWWWWW

username OLIVER CAN YOU FIGHT??

username holding my tears rn

username “mine” like yes we knowwww 😭😭😭

username this might be the very first time to see her smile with her teeth showing

  ⤷ username Girl we've never even seen her smiling ever since she and ollie are started dating

username What she's so cute

username they're sweetest of all 😍

username I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WORE BRACES????

username she looks so effortless for being pretty

username i told my family abt u way too long even before ollie told anything abt u

  ⤷ username Someone's getting competitive

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

TWITTER, AROUND 2 HOURS AFTER HIS POST ON INSTAGRAM:

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

HER POSTS BEFORE MARCH 2024:

yourusername

liked by paularon_, and 644,639 others

yourusername 🩰 🎂

view all 29,104 comments

username That fucking face card of yours is insane

olliebearman I fell in love with the whole outfit yesterday. Such a pretty one.

olliebearman I've told my mother about us.

  ⤷ username is that really ollie or a fan just stole his account?

username This post's aesthetic is matching my moodboard for the day

username OH SHE SEEEERRRRVVEEEE

username she passed the whole vibe check

franciscac.gomes Shining!

username She bless us w this

username SISTERR / MOTHERRRR

  ⤷ username 💀💀

yourusername

liked by lilyzneimer, and 835,782 others

yourusername (slight) Gala fit dump with my one and only ＠olliebearman 🫶🏻💗

view all 48,559 comments

username I used to pray for times like this

olliebearman You're welcome, Love.

olliebearman 🥹❤️

username graduated from the university of slayage with a license in motherism

username SPILL THE FULL FITSS

carla.brocker Was für ein atemberaubendes Kleid du hast! 😍

  ⤷ yourusername danke!!! 💞

username Where's Ollie why's he not in the pic?

  ⤷ username hes the one who taking this

username Remember seeing her soft ballerina core and now she served as this?? What a slay girl he (we) got

alexandrasaintmleux The whole fits was so stunningg!!

olliebearman So pretty...

olliebearman I am so lucky to have you.

username okay now sir let's head to your bed

username I wish i could see more ollie 🥺

  ⤷ username Homie if you want to see him more, just head there and dont say that here. It's his gfs acc, hv some respect.

racerbia It's soo gorgeous, but first handle your boyfriend. He's been giggling for 5 mins straight now

  ⤷ kimi.antonelli Unfortunately I am there too

  ⤷ username next time he's alone he'll be kicking his feet giggling and tucking his hair like what max do when he saw daniel

yourusername Sorryyyyy... 😬😬

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

TWITTER:

[goldsainz]

ECHOES OF LOVE — one shot.

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

2K CELEBRATION. MASTERLIST.

taglist: @lorarri @lpab @whatthefuckerr @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @schumacheer @saintslewis

summary: you can only watch as the man you love becomes a shell of who he once was.

request: “i would like to have ✒️— with prompt “i don’t even recognize you anymore.” with Charles!”

warnings: angst, ferrari being enemy #1, poorly proof-read, charles’s an asshole.

NOTE: this is all over the place but i kinda like the mess. every time i write for charles i read it over and over bc i don’t know if i am doing him justice. i hope you all enjoy this and find it entertaining, at least.

[ word count: 1,2k ]

Forza Ferrari sempre. 

You didn’t know when, but somewhere along the way you grew to hate the phrase. You suppose it was when Charles started to lose himself in his devotion to the team or when he no longer had time to even look at you some days. 

It didn’t take a genius to know that Ferrari was one of the main priorities Charles had in his life, what you didn’t know or even have in mind, is that it went above you. You who had stuck by him through thick and thin, who heard him cry out of frustration when the team made a decision not even then could comprehend; you who loved him for Charles and not il Predestinato. 

Sometimes you miss the past. It wasn’t always that you indulged in nostalgia, but when you did, it made you resent what your life has become. How could you not? Everywhere you went there was a reminder of all the things you had lost, all the little things you slowly left behind and now missed. 

You remember a time where talking about Ferrari was fun. When all was hush-hush and Charles had just signed his contract with the Scuderia, rambling on and on about all the things that could happen if he was on the team; from fulfilling his family’s dream to becoming a World Champion. Ferrari signified hope to Charles, so it was the same to you.

Now, Ferrari was the breaking point in your relationship. It wasn’t about ultimatums, you were almost certain that if it were you would have to pack your bags and start fresh somewhere else. No, this was about putting effort into a relationship, one that over time seemed to be one-sided.

Being home — if it could still be called that — was awkward and not like it once was. You watched Charles fumble around the kitchen as he pretended to cook, something he wasn’t fond of or good at. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many thoughts to be shared, and you would’ve kept them under lock and key if it weren’t for the fact that you were supposed to be spending time together.

It was unbearable to live with someone who you once knew so well and now was someone else entirely. The same could probably be said for you, but you knew that it didn’t matter how you changed, you love for Charles didn’t.

“I was thinking on going to Maranello on Friday.” Your boyfriend said, breaking the silence that loomed over you.

“What?”

“Yeah, get some stuff done. Just for the weekend, though.” You waited for Charles to turn around, to face the words he was saying. But once more, you are left behind in his plans: in his life.

“You’re not being serious, right?”

“Of course I am, Y/N.”

That was when he turned around. If there was something you rarely did was complain to him about his work trips, because most of the time you went him. But you knew that he knew that what he was telling you was outrageous.

“We have this one week to ourselves, Charles. You promised to leave work related stuff behind for one week.”

“I know that, but things came up.”

“Things came up? Come on, Charles.” You heard his exasperated sigh, now frustrated you weren’t bending to his wishes.

“Look, I’m sorry that me working to maintain the life we live is such an inconvenience for you.”

“I never complain about anything!” You exclaim, shaking your head at the absurdity of his words, “I’m your biggest supporter, Charles. I just wanted one week to enjoy ourselves.”

You hear pans clattering as he abandons his attempt at cooking, his attention now fully on you.

“This whole week is a distraction, and I can’t have distractions right now, Y/N.” There is a silence that builds the moment he says that, as you look at him you wonder when it was that all the time you spent together ended up in this.

“Oh, so I’m a distraction now?” You finally speak up, watching as the situation fully clicks for Charles. You watch him move from behind the kitchen counter, approaching you like a wounded animal.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” You almost laugh at his words, you want to tear your hair out from your scalp from frustration.

“It’s not?” You ask, watching as he falters at the brashness of your words, “Because from what I see, Ferrari will always come first.”

He doesn’t say anything. Nothing to deny the claims you are making, and that is when you truly know. That despite the way you want to delude yourself that the current Charles is the same Charles you met all those years ago and fell in love with, you know that the man who stands before you is not him.

“You can’t even deny it! You are so far gone on this quest to make Ferrari the team you want them to be, that you’ve lost sight of everything else around you. Including me.”

You wait for him to say something, but nothing comes out of his mouth, nothing at all.

“Say something, Charles!”

“What do you want me to say? That me driving for Ferrari is the worst thing ever? Because I can’t.”

Despite the urge to cry you manage to keep your composure. You hope that the gloss in your eyes isn’t noticiable, that he doesn’t see how tired of your situation you are.

“If I don’t work with Ferrari, what do I have left?”

That is when a tear slips. That exact moment were he utters those dreaded words, is when you falter before him. His dismissal of your relationship breaks your heart, it breaks your heart that he believes Ferrari is all he is worth. As if he isn’t one of the best drivers on the Grid currently, as if there aren’t various teams interested in him if he wanted them.

“I don’t even recognise you anymore.” You whisper to him, watching as his posture tightens and the look in his eyes turns cold.

It is then when you truly know that there is no going back to who you once were. That your relationship, however much of it was left, is now over.

He takes a deep breath, dragging his hand down his face. His brows furrowed, considering what to do of the predicament his in.

“If you dislike who I am so much, leave.” Charles says with no remorse in his voice, no care for the fact that you have limited places to go to in Monaco. “Nobody is stopping, if this situation is so bad for you, leave.”

You watch him for a second, this time you don’t look for regret, you look for love. If you had more time in your hands you could probably dig some up, but you shouldn’t grasp at straws to find love. And so you do what he wants. Once more. But this time will be the last time.

With little fuss, little care, you grabbed your necessities that were laying around and left. Opening the door to leave his flat feels like relief.

It isn’t until you are standing in the street that you realise that all those years with Charles would now remain in the past. Forever frozen on what could’ve been if life were fair.

[embrosegraves]

ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥 𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕄𝕪 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖

(request) Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader  A sweet moment between two lovers   Carlos has a tough day, so you make him feel better.

Warnings: None! Just straight up fluffiness

Media Day in the Paddock. A day both loved by the fans and hated by the drivers. It was a day that could be summed up as being ‘two sides of the same coin’. It was a day that neither excited nor enthused Carlos, but sometimes Media Day had its moments that made it worth the while. 

Carlos had been doing interviews for the better part of the day and it was finally time for he and Charles to film a video that would be cut up into bits for the Scuderia Ferrari Instagram. Entering the Ferrari hospitality, Carlos walked to the area that was set up for filming. 

Charles had been there for only a few minutes so when Carlos got there he plopped down on the couch beside him. Charles looked at him with a small smile. 

“Tough day?” he asked. 

Carlos groaned a little, “You have no idea.” 

“Unless Caco has anything else for you to do, this should be the last thing for today.” 

“I can only hope.” Carlos let a little chuckle out before repositioning so that he was properly sat up. 

The media personnel quickly explained that all they were doing for this video was answering some fan tweets and mock interviewing each other. Carlos was thankful that it wouldn’t be too strenuous a task for the last commitment of the day. 

While the media were setting up the last little bits for the video, you walked through the door of the hospitality, having a chat with Charles' girlfriend. They hadn’t been dating for very long, and you wanted the girl to feel more comfortable around the paddock so you had offered to be her friend so that she would have someone to talk to through the days you both accompanied your boys. Upon entering you were grateful that the team had set up an area for you both to sit while the drivers did their thing. 

You had sat down before noticing that Carlos seemed more tired than he usually was at this point of the day. Thankfully there was a little lull in your conversation, so you quickly apologised to the sweet girl beside you as you searched through your mini bag for the marker you always kept on hand for occasions like this. Finding it, you got up from your seat and walked over to Carlos, a gentle smile on your face. 

As soon as he clocked that you were walking over, Carlos’ eyes snapped to yours and gave you a smile. He knew as soon as he saw your marker that the rest of the day would be alright. Without prompt he held his hand toward you, you had done this so often that it was second nature for you both.

Standing in front of him, you gently grabbed his hand, flipped it so you could draw on his inner wrist and uncapped the marker. You concentrated hard on not messing up any of the lines you were drawing, as you were drawing upside down so that he could see it. The smile on both of your faces never left, though his did soften as he watched you draw. 

Finishing up your artwork with a beaming smile, you capped the marker. 

“There, all done!” 

Carlos grabbed both of your hands after you were finished and placed them both to his mouth. He gave them a few deep but gentle kisses and then put them on either side of his face. When his hands were free they fell into place around your hips and he carefully dragged you a little bit closer so he could hug you. 

“Gracias, Mi Amor.” 

It never failed to make you smile when he spoke to you in his mother tongue, no matter how simple the sentence. One of your hands moved to the side of his neck while the other gently brushed the hair away from his face. 

“You’re very welcome, Corazón.” 

Carlos could be seen throughout the video gently grazing his fingers over his inner wrist, trying his hardest not to smudge the image of both your initials surrounded by a heart. His day had been made.

Sometimes I wish I had a relationship like the ones I write about...

Anywho, thank you so much to the Anon that requested the prompts for this fic <3 I love you so much

likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[artsyjedi]

They see each other again | Charles Leclerc x reader

summary: after a good amount of time, you and Charles meet again.

author’s note: speed written this one and i actually liked it (surprisingly enough) so i hope you do it too <3 i didn’t proof read this very well so sorry if there’s any mistakes. I was kinda thinking about making a series about this couple? Tell me if you’re interested!!

warnings: it can be a little angst? per usual (sorry)

**it can be read as a 2nd part of ‘They don’t stay together at the end’ or alone.

5 years ago, you met Charles Leclerc. And since, you never forgot him - and life was committed to not let that happen in any way; and you tried. You truly tried to not remember those days you spent together as often as you do, to not smile whenever you hear someone say his name.

God, sometimes, while on dates or just talking with random strangers you met during a night out, you caught yourself comparing them to Charles.

5 years. It's been five years since Charles Leclerc ruined everyone else for you.

And he’s standing right there, on the same spot you saw him for the first time. He’s just a few meters from where you are with your friends. The cafe looks and smells the same. It feels like you traveled in time. You’re facing his back, and you’re a hundred percent sure it’s Charles because he’s the only one who thinks that horrendous stained pants look good.

Also, he’s the only one that somewhat looks good on it.

“Now that’s insane” your friend laughs realizing what is going on.

“Shut up! He can’t see me. Go!” you pushed them slightly towards the cabin where the other two were already seated.

“And why not?” she kept smiling, glancing towards Charles now and then before seating.

She started to take off their coat and you did the same, trying your best to not catch anyone’s attention.

“Because I’m sure he doesn’t remember me”

“And why do you think that?” the friend sat next to you arched their eyebrows.

“Because it’s been five years?” you asked as if it was obvious.

“Well, you remember him”

“Yeah but I’m still in love with him, of course I remember. And also: we are not the same people we were years ago”

You glanced at Charles, he was still at the balcony, talking freely with the employees while waiting for his order. He had a few people accompanying him and a phone in his hand. Your heart was beating fast, part of you wanting him to see you, to come and say hi, to sweep you off your feet again. You knowing he was single was doing no good for your mind.

“When we were drunk at Silvia’s house, you cried telling me you wished you’d meet him again in this life or in another one. Remember?”

“No, I do not” lies. You clearly remember.

“It was right after you called yourself dumb for not going to Monaco with him” your other friend provoked, winning a congratulatory small punch from the other one who sat beside them.

“Whatever, what’s your point?”

“My point is that if you’re both not the same as years ago, it’s practically another life” she shrugged, getting up and slapping your shoulder “Now move, I need to get to the bathroom”

You got up quietly, still trying not to catch anyone’s attention. You sat again, now stealing their place in the cabin; it was safer.

To say you were freaking out was an understatement. Your friends were having the time of their life, giggling and making jokes. You knew you were over reacting a little, but your friends failed to understand that Charles Leclerc was the Charles Leclerc. The Ferrari driver. The unofficial Prince of Monaco. You laugh at yourself with the thought.

Your friend came back talking about something random, completely stealing your attention.

You only relaxed when he left. You felt a heavy weight on your stomach during the whole time; another opportunity lost for fear of rejection. Fear of being hanging in a feeling only you had. Charles had girlfriends during this meantime, lots of rumors too. He was living while you were barely making it. Did he also have a shiver going down his spine whenever he saw someone that resembles you like you do? No. You’re sure he doesn’t. Why would he?

When you got to your apartment, still laughing from a silly joke your friends made before leaving you, the best thought occurred: the night called for a glass of wine and a good movie. You deserve a little solitude. Rain started to hit the window, setting the mood. Perfect.

If your afternoon has been a complete chaos, your night is going great.

You were about to sit on your couch, under the new covers you bought, when a knock on the door stopped you. Frowning, you wondered who it could be; usually, the doorman announces but not this time? One of your neighbors, maybe? You prayed it wasn’t the old lady from next door who loves to rent free your ear for her non-stop complaining.

“Who is it?” You asked, leaving the cup on the coffee table.

“Hi, I know this is weird but your friend told me you have a room to rent?”

The known thick accent made your legs quiver. Fuck. Your eyes widened, mind going miles per hour, I can’t believe this is happening! Shit.

You unlocked the door, opening slightly and leaning onto it. “Hi”

“Hi,” he replied. “Remember me?”

Your heart was beating so fast. The feelings you had started to flood your eyes. You couldn’t contain a smile. He was truly asking if you remember him?

“Maybe” you shrugged, winning a laugh from him. You opened the door enough to give him space to go in. Charles swallowed dry, hands rubbing his pants in a nervous movement. “So… looking for a room to rent, huh?”

“Tried to be funny and failed, I guess”

“Please sit” you pointed towards the sofa. “Wine?”

“No, thanks”

You nodded and got your glass, following his steps and sitting on the other end, facing him. You leaned your head in your hand, supporting your elbow on the back of the couch.

“How did you find my address?”

“Your friend”

Like a movie, a flashback ran through your mind. Of course they hadn’t gone to the bathroom when they said they were, and that’s why they were giggling and joking about you and Charles during the whole day.

Even though you knew you would kill them next morning? you were also thankful.

“These pants are horrible” it came out before you couldn’t even register what you said.

“What?” he frowned in surprise, leaning closer. You two laughed at his offended face.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking and just… anyway” you scratched the back of your head. That was going just great.

“God, I truly missed you” he told you in between giggles, leaning even closer and reaching for the hand you had supported your head and bringing your wrist for him to kiss.

“I missed you too” you intertwined your fingers and brought his hand close to your face, feeling his warmth. You leaned on it, kissing it right after.

You kept staring at each other. Silence was loud. Louder than any song or any crowd you already heard. No words needed to be said. The rain was hitting harder on the window and the city outside started to get quieter. Charles Leclerc. How did you survive all these years without having him there?

[inchidentally]

(screencapped to stay out of the tags)

I'm going to be bundling my other tricky asks as always in one post under a cut but this one as actually a learning curve for me as someone who doesn't really follow Max stuff.

I genuinely hadn't realized just how much time Lando had spent with Max privately and non-F1 weekend related. I'm not esp a Max fan which would explain me missing a lot but I did know they had a pretty solid friendship that dated more closely to his friendship with George and Alex - but damn that's way more time spent with Max than any other driver this season!

what's funny too is that Max is actually super happy to be physically affectionate in a flirty way with other guys similar to how Lando is. Carlos is only like that with certain guys, namely Charles and guys his own age that he deems as "pretty". but as someone who pulled shippy shit from any car|ando interaction I can honestly say that the "ooh they touched in a sexy way!" stuff was just how Lando is with guys. Carlos firmly has Lando in the little brother/friend space and literally says he thinks Lando is "cute" and that it's weird when people ask them to kiss. and yes, they have dinner sometimes and travel on the same plane sometimes to the next race - but just this season Lando did that with Daniel and Oscar and Max as well.

so surely Max including Lando in all this personal life stuff and spending time together online and in Monaco during the winter break is a HUGE threat to car|ando? I genuinely can't and don't want to try and understand the larry mentality of RPF but if I had to guess then it's something as wild as them considering Max as already part of a major RPF ship (|estappen or maxtie|) that's supposedly ALSO taking place under cover of all these "fake" girlfriends? man I wish I could remove the terms "beard" and "escort" from these people's vocabulary.

I've also got an ask that apparently charlos causes rage for both |estappen and car|ando bc they have an agenda that Charles and Carlos hate each other but then keep getting infuriated when Charles mounts Carlos or Carlos won't stop touching Charles' thighs or they try to kiss for the millionth time. akgfsakfgaf how exhausting must it be keeping these theories going I caaaan't

but returning to your ask yea fact is that Lando is way closer and more of a friend outside F1 with Max than Carlos. they meet up probably the same amount during the drivers parades as car|ando and sometimes even get handsy. but I guess somehow that's different ?? even when Lando has teased that RB would be his only temptation away from McLaren and Christian Horner wants to en plein air fuck Lando ???

from what I can tell, Daniel was never considered a threat to car|ando which continues to be bizarre bc purely objectively again, I would say he's more of a friend outside F1 to Lando than Carlos. not by a whole lot but Daniel and Lando share road trips and private flights and Lando fits into Daniel's friend group really well. I guess maybe since Daniel's just widely loved in fandom in general there was less motive to try and tear down his relationship with Lando?

that's true, I also seem to recall starting to see this anti-landoscar BS starting around Japan/Oscar's contract extension. I suppose if I were trying to look at it through their angle then the Japan and Qatar double McLaren podiums coming right after Singapore - including Oscar's extension - would be seen as some kind of "insult" ? I guess Oscar went from being cute and non-threatening to suddenly cockblocking the Carlos back to McLaren pipe dream (that Carlos would literally only do as a fifth or sixth option and only if Ferrari gave him the boot lol). especially since Lando insisted on being crazy happy about the double podiums instead of I guess wistfully thinking of how much he wishes he could play second fiddle to Carlos getting the only non-RB win of the season instead of trying to idk help his team and himself in the standings.

then there was the crazy mood swing when Lando and Carlos went to dinner after Mexico and flew to Brazil together (with Rebecca) - to the rage when it turned out that Lando hanging out in Brazil for a day or two after the race wasn't car|ando bc Lando went to Cali almost immediately for sponsors meetings while Carlos and Rebecca both posted pics and video of their private holiday together that went right up until the day before the Vegas race. I definitely saw the uptick in car|ando agit prop after that whole shebang bc then Carlos wanted Rebecca at the "car|ando cup" and kept checking in on her. the hatred towards her truly took on a whole ugly and dark turn after that.

it is still so damn weird that Oscar/landoscar is the target that it is for them though. I have another ask where in some F1 group Christmas art the artist depicts Lando interacting with Carlos and not Oscar and ??? it's a drawing??? and I'm assuming they don't rate Lily's existence as security for car|ando since apparently any woman can be conveniently written off as a fake gf. but Oscar doesn't play gay with Lando and he didn't push for a bromance and generally keeps himself to himself unless Lando wants him around! he's a Lando fanboy but he's not even hardcore pushing content of him and Lando on his sm! the poor guy is literally just standing there catching strays bc of a mainstream bromance that has nothing to do with him

I'm sorry anon this went so wide of what you were saying but genuinely I used to spend so much of my time on car|ando accounts and it's slowly turning into a larry "they are looking to each other" edit type fandom ;__;

but fr why does Oscar get put in the "we hate the real life girlfriends" category ?????? I genuinely laugh bc it's so insane why isn't he like Max or Daniel why is he That Fake Bitch Standing In Our Ship's Way and they aren't is it bc he's prettier and serves natural cunt afglajfgalgfslafg

[jwnchstr]

waiting for superman | m.s47

title: waiting for superman part 3

characters: you/reader/catherine, mick schumacher

summary: when your father (a former ferrari mechanic) was diagnosed with alzheimer's, your world turns upside down. you had to give up your city life, get back to your village to take care of your father.  but what hurts the most is being so close to him and seeing him not remember you (catherine) as well as every precious moment in his life with you. you start to questions about everything until mick schumacher (your childhood best friend) comes back into your life and teaches you life lessons that you're sure will remember forever.

other f1 fics | masterlist | my wattpad

waiting for superman part 1 | 2 | 4 | 5

*

iii.

sebastian vettel would do anything just to bring the memories back into karl's mind. from the moment he met karl through michael, to when they start to hang out, to when they have a casual midnight stroll even though he was too young follow the adults. he doesn't care if it takes weeks or months or years. he won't give up. he is willing to redo everything he did with karl if that's what it takes to give karl his memories back. and if he's given a chance for a wish to be granted, he would wish to heal karl's disease.

    he might look unaffected with karl's disease because he thought he needs to be strong for you, but truth to be told, he is crying and heartbroken inside. he hates watching the zero reaction coming from karl. that distant look when he doesn't know what sebastian is talking about. that stutter when sebastian asks if he remembers (and he has to ask if karl remembered).

    once both of them reached the karting club where you and mick used to be a part of, sebastian had stories in his mind. he had mentally prepared and organised those precious stories he will tell. will it be about how michael scolded a kid because he pushed mick to the wall and got disqualified? will it be about how you often beat mick and he comes home sulking (especially when gina did nothing to comfort him because she supported you more)? will it about between the dads---about how your father being the typical dad with michael, standing too close beside the circuit, watching the kids racing with a bottle of beer in their hands. people would think that michael and karl would obey the rules as audiences since both of them were a part of the f1 team, but sometimes, they're just someone's dads.

    "i don't think they were allowed to have an alcohol at an event full with kids but you and michael never mind the rules. it's like both of you were a couple of high school seniors that even the principals cannot touch." sebastian chuckles. "and sometimes, michael would be the honour to hand the trophies to the winners. he would pass his beer to you before taking it back soon after the ceremony ends."

    your father doesn't understand why sebastian is laughing. he could not imagine what sebastian is telling him about. the story... the story about him and this michael guy who was his best friend seems close to his heart but too far to reach at the same time. he doesn't remember meeting this michael guy. he doesn't remember having a friend named michael. he doesn't remember working with michael.

    "oh and did i tell you that your daughter was in a karting club?"

    i have a daughter? karl thought.

    karl slowly shakes his head. he looks disappointed at himself for not knowing this new character in sebastian's story. but he caught sebastian saying the word 'daughter' as if he was reminding him that he's married and has a kid. but when did he marry andrea? and where is andrea now? if they have a daughter together, andrea must know and she would want to hear this story too, right? karl doesn't want to believe sebastian but the daughter's name sounds familiar to his ears. it's the kind of name he would want to name his daughter one day.

    "yeah. she was a member of a karting club. but it was mick who introduced it to her."

    "how was she?"

    "she was amazing! she picked up fast. it only took a few months for her race against mick even though they're in the same team." the image of little you and mick racing side by side in the kart circuit flashes behind sebastian's mind as if it only happened yesterday. "she beat mick few times. and when she does, mick would sulk and ask your daughter to play other games with him. games that he'd good at though we all know that catherine is just as good as at other games."

    "she sounds like a tough girl." karl smiles at the thought of his future daughter.

    "back then, you and michael used play bets on catherine and mick." sebastian laughs again. when he first found that out, sebastian yelled at the dads. he remembers preaching in front of michael and karl, telling them how it's not nice to play bets on their children. "but you guys claimed that you will keep the bet money in the kid's college fund. it sounded like a good idea. like another way to save up but i personally would never do that to my kids."

    if it weren't because of your father, sebastian didn't know that he still remembers these at all.

    "so what happened then? did she stop?"

    it takes a few seconds for sebastian to realise that your father is talking about you.

    "she said that racing isn't for her. she pursued engineering instead." sebastian smiles, proud of you as if you're his own child. "but she was good at what she was doing. you must be proud of her."

    "only if i remember," karl says under his breath, didn't miss the grammar sebastian used.

    was. karl wonders what happens to his so-called daughter. why was it a 'was' instead of 'is'? did something happen that made her change career? did she left her family? did she die?

    the sadness in karl's voice makes sebastian wants to tear up. he thinks karl doesn't deserve this illness. if this disease is due to him not using his brain that much, sebastian would accuse the doctor being a liar. because as far as he knows, karl was one of the people who used his brain a lot when he was healthy. his brain worked like a computer, like it's programmed to store things with personalised tricks and cheat codes. he always knew how to fix a car. he was always precise with his work, never left things almost done. he rarely made mistakes in the garage. so why, god, why and what did he do to get this ugly punishment?

    and then there is you that crosses sebastian's mind and he cannot help feeling sorry for you too. even though he hadn't known you since you were born like mick but it definitely feels as if. he knows how close you are with your father. after all, there weren't anyone in your life except you two (though occassionally with your nanny). no mother. no other siblings. no aunts and uncles. one world and there's you and your father making memories together as you grow up.

    but now, not only you lost your hero but also your dreams. you had to give up your dreams right when you were the happiest in the world for living in your dreams because being an engineer was what you wanted ever since you were a little girl. you had to give up that thousands of grands job. you had to give up the tall windows, high ceiling, gray-painted walls apartment. you had to give up the lifestyle that you began to love while living in the heart of switzerland. you have to give up everything.

    "karl." sebastian smiles. one that doesn't reach his eyes. "i know you won't remember me or catherine or michael. and you don't remember anything we did together, but i want you to know that you and catherine are always in my prayers."

    karl's heart warms. he doesn't know what he did to be given such a kind-hearted man in front of him. he doesn't even remember catherine or me or michael.

    he feels like saying something, but he doesn't know if that's the right option to do now because he might ruin the moment. instead, he keeps quiet, stares at the younger man.

    "and it's okay if you don't remember."

    karl's heart feels like to explode. again. what did he do to be granted with such human being?

    "it's tough on us," sebastian continues. "tougher on catherine, i imagine, but she loves you still."

    if karl could do anything right now, he would want to meet this catherine girl and tell her that everything will be fine. that he is fine and that he loves her too.

*

marc and franco. they were the employees who worked with karl back when he works at the workshop after retiring ferrari's mechanic. and today, when sebastian brings karl to the same workshop, marc and franco are still there and looking as if they never aged even one year. if it weren't because of the white hairs, people would think they're still in their 30s.

    "sebastian?" franco's eyebrows knitted on his forehead.

    sebastian's smile gets wider than when he first hopped out of his car after pulling his car to a stop in front of the workshop. he enters the workshop deeper, approaching franco for a hug that they hadn't shared for a few years.

    "hey, franco."

    "oh my god! you're getting... bald!"

    it's not sebastian's first time to have someone judging his appearance though. mick had made a remark on his bald spot too. his wife hannah never let him forget about how he looks way older than his age and looking different every time he gets home in between races. he knows he could grow hairs once he's taking hiatus on f1 after the end of the season.

    "marc! marc! come here! see who's here!" franco had called his business partner. and as if there was an emergency, marc emerges from the deep of the workshop looking worried.

    "what? what is it? did something---" he stops himself as soon as he sees a familiar figure standing close in front franco. "sebastian? oh come on here, you little piece---!"

    and they share a hug but unlike with franco (where the hug was tight, warm, friendly but short), marc makes sure that sebastian could feel every limb on his body including what's down there. uncomfortable, sebastian pushes marc to break the hug while trying to hide a cringe on his face.

    "oh i almost forgot," sebastian says before turning around in search of karl. "karl, do you remember who they are?"

    just like what sebastian expected, karl shakes his head. maybe he should shop asking karl if he remembers.

    "this is marc and franco." sebastian smiles at the older man. "they were your bosses when you were working here after retiring ferrari's car mechanic. they were two of your good friends too."

    marc and franco glance at each other. they just met a few days ago. marc and franco and karl at karl's house. they were talking and laughing, though as strangers, but it seemed that karl had a really good time with them. it's crazy how karl doesn't recognise them though it's only after a couple of days passed.

    it was as if it's karl's first time seeing marc and franco because there was no trace of recognition in karl's eyes when they look at each other. marc and franco wanted to go for a hug but when karl nods his head, gave them a polite smile, they know they totally lost their good friend.

    "don't take it too personally with karl," sebastian tells the two ruggged-looking man in front of him.

    "never, sebastian. but it's sad to see him that way. it's only two days ago since we last saw him," franco says.

    "how's his little girl?" marc asks as he and franco lead their two guests into their waiting room.

    sebastian smiles tightly. "probably still the same since you last saw her."

    "she told us that mick is home. are you staying here with your family?"

    "i wish," sebastian answers.

    and the three of them begin talking like there's no tomorrow. and with a company of the good, chilly weather and hot coffee, the environment seems perfect for the three dads to play catch up after so long not seeing each other.

    as sebastian, marc and franco continue talking in the other end of the garage, feeling not needed there, karl takes his time looking over the tools on the silver trolley. they recognise one or two of them. okay, maybe only one. a screwdriver. what else they have here? a T-thing with two different heads? hammer. a retractable object with marks and numbers on the metal? measuring tape. other complicated tools your father doesn't recognise. air compressor, dismantled gear, tyres spanner, sport rims. there is a car on a blue platform without tyres and karl doesn't understand why.

    there are so many things in the garage. things that make karl thinks maybe he knew too well these before but no matter how hard he cracks his brain, he doesn't know and understand almost 90% what's going on in the automotive workshop. everything looks so foreign to him now. he looks like a guy entering a make-up store. but one thing he knows that the longer he is here, the harder the pound in his head.

    sensing the uneasiness on karl's face, sebastian politely tells marc and franco that they have to leave. marc and franco promise that they'd see sebastian again next time he visits. and soon when they arrive back at the schumacher's, sebastian leads karl into the house. karl says he needs to use the loo.

    feeling a little light from the good day he'd spent with marc and franco, sebastian forgets that karl needs every help a healthy person has to offer to a sick person. sebastian barely remembers that karl has dementia, so without thinking anything, he merely nods his head and tells karl that he's going to be in the kitchen when he's done using the loo.

    but karl doesn't know what he isn't capable to do so he instinctively, he nods his head when the blonde man told him that he'll be in the kitchen. why is he in the kitchen? karl wonders to himself. he's going to the loo and the blondie will be in the kitchen? okay, then karl thinks it sounds like what other people do so when he started to his journey towards the loo because he really needs to use the toilet. only after a few minutes looking around, he couldn't find a way to the loo.

    where is the fucking toilet? karl asks himself as he ventures the whole first floor of the house. he walks pass the kitchen door---he sees a blondie making a something at the counter against the wall. he walks pass the living room but when he sees no one there, he continues walking ahead. he walks pass a hallway---he sees several pictures in big frames hanging on the wall. he stops in front of a door and tries to open it---it wouldn't budge. he returns to the living room, sees nobody else, sees the front door but ignores it, walks pass the kitchen. if there were people who didn't know karl's disease, they would think this man is utterly stupid for not seeing a small door a few steps after the kitchen because that's where the toilet is.

    and he does this for several times. until he forgets what he was initially looking for. feeling uncomfortable pacing back and forth between the walls without remembering why he was here, karl walks to the front door. he opens the front door, leaves it open, and steps outside. without looking back, he walks straight ahead, turns right and continues straight. and that's the last time the house sees karl until you get back.

*

sebastian was emotionally tired when he finds the abstract wallpaper on the schumacher's kitchen wall interesting. corinna has had it for years. he doesn't remember exactly when but it's been there forever. sebastian has been meaning to ask corinna what's so special about the wallpaper but now, as he looks at the wallpaper while his emotion feels like a tornado, he begins to understand why corinna hadn't removed it or changed it.

    the canvas is starting to get yellowish despite being an expensive art piece, but the colours (though bright) they give sebastian's mind a peace that he didn't know he needed today. it's true that sebastian is genuinely happy with himself today. it feels like an accomplishment to bring karl out for a drive but there's something in the drive and the memories makes sebastian exhausted.

    the smell of hot coffee gives another peace of his mind as the hot mug radiates a comforting warmth towards sebastian fingers and hands. after taking a single sip, sebastian sighs. the taste of the coffee brings him back to earth. his eyes caught a small digital clock corinna put on the kitchen island. something snaps in his mind.

    "karl." his breath hitches. "oh my god, karl."

    sebastian reluctantly puts his coffee mug down (because the coffee is still hot and is still only a quarter empty. he quickly checks the toilet for karl and how worried and scared and angry he is when he didn't find the man he was looking for there. his heart makes a jump in his chest when he couldn't find karl at the living room, other rooms on the first floor, at the kitchen even though seabastian was at the kitchen the whole time. it was on his second round when sebastian realises that the front door is ajar.

    "oh no."

    sebastian could hear his heart beating loudy in his ears as he fishes his phone in his pocket. but luck (if you could call this luck) that just before he taps on your name in his contact list, he hears your car entering the driveway. he deeply, deeply sighs. the tremble of his hands lessen by two percent. when he hears two car doors shut, he realises that despite being an f1 driver who had been taught to work under pressure, but in real life when he has to deal with something else, he is the opposite of the person who was taught to work under pressure. good thing you came back on time.

    "always keep him in your peripheral," sebastian hears the echo of your voice, reminding him before he took your father for a drive. "always show him. even though he doesn't remember, always talk to him."

    yes. he should've remembered those 30 minutes ago when your father told him that he wanted to use the loo!

    sebastian heads for the front door. he walks straight out of the house (the front door is open wide, after all). he sees the scowl on your face. that crease on your forehead is so deep. you're running away from someone while shouting something back at him. when sebastian sees mick appears from behind your car, he realises that you and mick are having an argument.

    shit.

    sebastian stands still at the porch, tries to understand what were the arguments about. your voices sounded muffled in his ears but even so he could catch some phrases like "her" and "love you" and "justine" and "we". the loud thump of his heart in his ears overshadowed the rest of the sound in the world around him, but as tries to get himself back onto the earth, he realises that you and mick are actually confessing.

    for having to spend a lot of time with mick on and off the paddock, sebastian knows something about mick that you don't know. for instance, sebastian recognises the love in mick's eyes whenever he's talking about you even though you haven't seen each other for years. he admires your hardwork while chasing after your dreams. he mentions your names here and there when he's talking to other people outside of interviews. he is proud of you so much that he didn't realise he had created speculations.

    but sebastian wonders and he had once asked mick why he didn't try to see you back at home when you're only less than an hour away. after all, you were still in contact with gina.

    "i don't know. i feel like she's avoiding me."

    maybe mick was right. maybe you were avoiding mick because you were trying to get over mick. you had a career. you had your own apartment. you had your own car. you had your freedom. you thought it's time to get over mick and try to date other men. though at the end, you miserably failed. your dad got sick. you returned home and still in love with mick.

    even though it sounds ridiculous to be having an argument about love at the moment, but maybe this is the time for mick to finally confess his feelings towards you too even though your father had went missing. because sebastian has seen it for a long time in mick's eyes. maybe even from the start of him knowing mick. maybe mick hasn't realised it. maybe mick needs his time to understand what he's feeling. when sebastian finally hears those powerful words, he is happy for mick. but your father karl erberhardt is still missing!

    justine and gina aren't home yet and you might feel relieved or glad because you don't have to see her pretty face on the territory but that doesn't matter now, does it, because you're having an argument with mick to notice justine's car isn't anywhere to be seen. hearing the fuss, corinna exits michael's room and meets sebastian at the porch. her forehead creased with confusion.

    "what's happening?" corinna asks.

    "i lost karl."

    corinna is too shocked to to say anything but she does worry about her husband's bestfriend.

    "and now his daughter and mick are arguing about their love and their feelings."

    "are you being serious right now? how could you be standing here? break them!" corinna pushes.

    it's not that sebastian doesn't want to break the argument but he knows what's bubbling inside mick's mind and how he's been keeping things from you. so here, right now, even though corinna is glaring at him for stalling, he was only giving mick the space to express himself out. he waited for a few more minutes. when he thought the argument was over, he sees you pushing mick again. now he gives you another chance to talk to mick and as soon as he realises that the argument has died down, that both of you are calmed, sebastian lurches forward.

*

"catherine. it's about karl."

    your father's name is like an alarm to your brain, like once you hear "karl" or "your father", your focus and attention, even though you were sleeping one second ago, you will be awake one second after. sebastian looks pale when he tells you what's happened. he worries about a lot of things but even so, he tells you everything.

    "i'm sorry, catherine. i understand if you can't trust me again after today but i swear i didn't mean to lose him."

    "no, seb. it's okay."

    no, truthfully, it's not okay even though this is not the first time you or annie or anyone lost your father. not when you've warned them to always keep an eye on karl. because someone who has alzheimer's may look like he understands what you were telling them, but they're actually not so you always have to be careful with them. there's always something like this happen every time karl meets his friends or someone brings karl to see their other friends. they were so caught up in the moment that they tend to forget karl is forgetful.

    with creased on your forehead, you fish for your phone inside your jeans pocket.

    "catherine---"

    you look up at the aston martin f1's driver. sebastian's heart skips a bit when your eyes meet him.

    "i know i won't be able to sleep tonight if i don't say this so just listen to me, okay?"

    sebastian prepared himself with the curses that you're going to throw at him, or meanful things you'd shout at sebastian to let the neighbours know how the fourth-time world champion is useless at taking care of an ill person. knowing you, you might even do more than these but it surprised him when nothing of what he expected came. instead, he sees calmness in your tired eyes. your lips looks like they're ready to give him a smile to make him calm down.

    mick, standing close with you and sebastian, now realises that this is the first time he sees sebastian looking so messed up. but it amazes him more with how collected you look while dealing with the situation. mick thinks that, if this happened to him, he wouldn't be able to even talk to sebastian right now.

    "i'm sorry."

    "sebastian, it's okay. i'm not mad at you." you give sebastian an assuring smile and squeezes his shoulder comfortly. "now i'm going to make a few calls. i'm going to tell annie and the police. and then we're going to look for him."

    both sebastian and mick watch you making some phone calls silently while waiting for you to finish. neither of the men speaks any word as if the they're the one who had that argument a few minutes ago. but to think again, maybe they're just as anxious as you are so no matter how hard they tried to move their tongues to talk, they just can't.

    after both annie and the police are notified, you return to sebastian and mick.

    "alright. we should split up," you say still calm. "maybe sebastian can go back to the workshop and see if my father's there. mick can cover the park. i'll try look for him at the church."

    both you and your father rarely go to the church but there's a cemetery behind the church compound and there, your father's mother was burried. you never knew her but there were several times where you'd follow your father visiting her grave when you were little. no visit as you grew older but after getting alzheimer's, you found him at the grave on several occassions. people in the neighbourhood too. and they'd be the one who would bring your father home if not to the police station.

    "no way we're splitting."

    "no. it's too risky," sebastian agrees. "it's getting dark. we should look for him together."

    sebastian was right. and it's better to be safe than sorry so you agree with sebastian's suggestion. all three of you hop into your car with you driving since you know your father's favourite spots better than the other two. sebastian at the pessenger's seat and mick at the back by himself.

    you didn't know where to start. should you start with the farthest? sure, but marc or franco would probably call you or sebastian if they found your father at the workshop. should you start a little closer like the church? he might know how to go to the church from your home but not from mick's house. your father didn't even recognise the street, the trees and the mick's house itself. should you just get home then? because what if your father somehow knew his way home from mick's?

    no, no, no. that would be impossible even though it could happen. his father doesn't even know the way home from the police station or from the park or from the church or the cemetery.

    the car is silent as you drive slowly around the neighbourhood, keeping an eye on every man that you see even though he doesn't look like karl erberhardt from behind. mick at the back is trying his best to do the same thing as you with his blue eyes but once in a while, you would catch him looking at you through the rear-view mirror as if checking up on you. you're not sure why you roll his eyes at him though. maybe you're just tired. meanwhile beside you, keeping the windows down, sebastian's lips are moving. he's praying.

    "come on, dad," you whisper under your breath, but you know that with the silence in the car, both of the men hear you. "where are you?"

    you thought of turning around and driving back towards the karting club but it's too late now, does it? the sky is already dark. the temperature has dropped. there's no way you could see in the dark with only your mobile phone's torchlight. all hope of finding your father nearby fades. but just as when you're thinking of returning home and wait for him there, your phone rings. you quickly reaches for your phone in the cup holder and sees the familiar telephone number on the screen. it's the local police station.

    "catherine?" the same woman who picked up your call just now calls you. "we found your father."

    the heavy sigh that escape your lips caught mick and sebastian's attention. two sets of eyes are on you. two sets of ears are focused on you. they're waiting for the answer. you put your phone on loud speaker.

    "where?"

    "the station."

    "the station?" you wonder. "you found my father at the police station?"

    "he came here by himself."

    pressing the acceleration paddle harder, you drive towards the police station above the speed limit but what do you care. you need to see your father before your body explodes. by the time you reach there, a policeman already opens the door for you and when you enter the police station, you see your father is sitting on one of the many chairs in front of the report counter. there are another two policemen in the room---one behind the counter and the other sitting beside your father.

*

"dad!"

    when karl turns around upon hearing a woman calling someone 'dad', it was merely a reflex. one where you spontenously turn around when you hear someone else calling for other people especially when her voice is too loud in the police station. but apparently, the woman is approaching him. her eyes are glassy as she opens her arms for him. and again. it's by reflex when he returns the woman's hug.

    "oh dad!" the woman says. "i thought i really lost you."

    karl frowns above the woman's head. his eyes catch a few other people in the station. all men and all are looking at him and the woman he's hugging. all look sadly relieved but aside from the three policemen, who are the other two men standing near the door? is the younger man the woman's boyfriend and the older blond man his dad?

    "uhm. girl? i'm so sorry to ruin the moment but i'm afraid i'm not your father."

    in the embrace, he feels the woman stiffens. slowly, when the woman breaks the hug and looks up at him, he sees the same dark hair and dark eyes as his. he sees the same smile andrea has. something in him tugs. he is still not sure if he's married to andrea and they had a daughter this big but it looks like the woman already knows him. or even if he knows her, it's because she lives together with him in his ma's house. and if he's not mistaken, she is the woman he lives with along with another older woman who helps him take his bath.

    "oh, dad! thank god you're okay!"

    "i'm---i'm sorry to interrupt you, girl. but---but you're not my mother...?"

    the girl gulps. "no, dad. i'm your daughter. christine."

    "daughter?" karl frowns. "i have a daughter? i'm married?"

    "you were. but mum left us when i was a few months old so it's only us."

    "andrea would do that?"

    the woman's face twitch in disgust. did andrea do something to her? or did she do something to andrea? he rufused to believe the latter because to him, andrea is his happy pill. the one who knows how to make him smile. the one who knows just what to do when he's upset. the one whom he loves all his life.

    "are you from the future?"

    if this woman is not andrea and not his mother, then she's either a stranger or someone from the future, right?

*

part 4

[baekhvuns]

Huh why is our last convo flagged as mature content 😅

I'm torn because EXO COMEBACK YAY but more money for SM? Very much NAAAAAAY and it's such a mess, but EXO RISE!

Armchairs when EXO and SKZ beat BTS: 🤬🖕🏻 FRAUD!!! Their outrage is so funny, nothing like good old fashioned Exol-s vs Armys battle!

The pre release is very nice and nostalgic, the vocals are vocalling! Baek cropping SM's logo in his IG story, idk if it was incidental, but I choose to believe he did it on purpose to be a little silly!

Not sure if I will see that Ferrari girl ever again, she has races to attend lmao

A lot of Shawols are feeling negative about the song description, I'm skeptical, but it's Shinee after all. Intense piano, something like the beginning of Advice maybe? This comeback is also bittersweet because of Jinki, but I'm still sooo looking forward to it. However...... 😭 https://twitter.com/pansymoons/status/1668272217904365574?t=lw0Cq8MzYXGdKBZl3gnJ3Q&s=19 - this combined with HARD I- are they for real ahdgaggsgagsgssfajshsh

Damn, how to be Hoshi?! https://twitter.com/hoshzone/status/1668567593085706240?t=v9rtKzMcXHxVPkY-9qjCiQ&s=19 and he followed them right after, I'm glad they allowed him to do it, after all the 5 in his IG username stands for Shinee and there's no other explanation

YES YES YES EXACTLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT ATEEZ AND THEIR PHOTOSHOOTS. You know I have all their albums, I was either too blinded by their looks in the past or perhaps the photos were a bit better but now yeah I can see the lack of variety? I can't tell, but my god the shoots rely on their appearance only and sometimes the photos don't even look flattering :/ not to mention the whitewashing and air brushing. There's no depth in those photos. The inspiration may be there, but it's watered down. I have a lot to say about the technical aspects too, it pisses me off not only because I want better for Ateez and don't want KQ to milk fans and give them half assed concepts, but also as someone who dabbled into photography... so fucking annoying. There's so much to be done. The white outfits photos???? For what.... come to think, not only does Ateez lack great comeback photos, they barely have any magazine shoots? Very strange

Ok so Bouncy sounds fun, the preview doesn't really sound like an Ateez's song to me though, the dance looks like it may get popular on Tik Tok lmao. I wish they did something different, but maybe I won't dislike it, I was just hoping for actual singing, but I don't think that's the vibe they're going for right now lmao. It does sound like a summer banger, a good club song and Seonghwa is already eating it up! I'm just worried they're pushing the Hwa rapper agenda and won't give him a lot of singing lines, and look rapper Hwa is cool, but he has such a versatile voice!

Stray Kids' song left me speechless in a bad way at first, but... not to compare, but Skz can just pull off wacky shit, it's their brand at this point, so they sold it to me. Not my fave TT and they have better bsides, e.g. Topline with Tiger JK, but S Class isn't terrible. Hopefully I feel the same about Bouncy

THE NAKAMOTO YUTA YES! Maybe I'm back to being a Yuta girl now ajdhdhsgagsgaggaags I've always had Taeyong tunnel vision so it's hard to focus on anyone else, besides xenophobic SM doesn't give two shits about him, he needs to go jrock, he has the voice for it, instead he barely exhales on NCT's tracks JAIL. We actually told him we're looking forward to more jrock covers and perhaps an anime opening? I hope something good happens to him and EmbarrasSMENT actually promotes it. At this point he should join WayV, ignored, underrated... 😭😭😭😭 Anyway he was very kind and gentle and we made him laugh with our clown antics, so that's a win!

I'm so proud of Taeyong, he put his whole heart and Tyongussy into this album and it paid off despite SM not doing much for him, so much for being the company fave... and the fact antis were boycotting him? VILE. Yes, Mark was cheering so loudly it was cute! And Taeyong called Yuta and Taeil out for not attending his showcase, but then they eventually came <3 haven't seen much of Dream, but tbh I don't care about them, sorry 😅

Taeyong's photocards y'all will be mine... one day 🤧 where did SM get him from? The streets ahsghagshahshs pretty sure they lured him in with bread or some shit.....

Btw there's one scene in Bloodhounds that was shot at the same location as Skz's Back Door I was like, hold ooooon. Is it good?

You're watching anime illegally, so I'd suggest to look at animepisode.com! They have 10 episodes on there I believe. I mean black hair, blonde hair, pink hair... they're all Seonghwas anyway.

Taeyong is going the Kai's route and does challenges with so many people, both for his track and theirs <3 and https://twitter.com/taeoho/status/1668155919962714114?t=EFHbqllTpLsZtbFbv4kJEw&s=19

Both JYP and KQ and basically everyone else seem to be more relaxed about challenges now, so I hope to see more. The fact there's no Skz x Atz challenge yet is criminal... also LSF appeared on Aespa's channel?! Maybe Hybe is still trying to buy SM aksgdgsfahsgahshshsh

Ok but his mind! I know it's just a silly Tik Tok, but I'll never not admire his passion and dedication to details. He's so creative too, that's why I always want more for him, I know he's not greedy, but I just want him to have more opportunities 😭 https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1668188123984195585?t=nxxIDzwNPLbn_eGFEwKpvw&s=19

THESE TWO AGAIN MY GOD AND WHAT IF SEONGHWA..... https://twitter.com/TENsfeed/status/1668740420678090753?t=2sCKYa6AXtuNL022D_rQIg&s=19 - DV 💖

hello!!

Huh why is our last convo flagged as mature content 😅 /// I'm torn because EXO COMEBACK YAY but more money for SM? Very much NAAAAAAY and it's such a mess, but EXO RISE! /// Armchairs when EXO and SKZ beat BTS: 🤬🖕🏻 FRAUD!!! Their outrage is so funny, nothing like good old fashioned Exol-s vs Armys battle!

NO BC FHWKDHWK THIS IS THE SECOND TIME 😭😭😭 SOMEONES OUT FOR MY BLOG FBWNDBSJ more money to sm but if exo win the case,, they will get a sum hopefully the labor cooperation does their thing BUT EXO WE RISE !!!!!! NO IT REALLY IS SO VERY FUNNY BC THE STREAMING CULTURE AND EXOLS ARE JUST NOW LEARNING ABT IT AND TRYING IT OUT AND THE STREAMS ARE CRAZY SO IT GOT PPL MAD??? how are we gatekeeping streaming now 😭😭😭😭 also gotta make this comeback their biggest as a way of protest 🤚🏻u know 2016-2017 kpop is back when army v exols start pulling up 😭😭

The pre release is very nice and nostalgic, the vocals are vocalling! Baek cropping SM's logo in his IG story, idk if it was incidental, but I choose to believe he did it on purpose to be a little silly! /// Not sure if I will see that Ferrari girl ever again, she has races to attend lmao

it really is,,, i actually cried bc of the no autotune in their voice made me realize how kpop’s full of autotune but exo will always produce the best of their raw voices,, was discussing this with a friend rn with listening to atz’s cb and switching to exo give the ears something to be peaceful about 😭😭 NO BC I KNOW HE WAS LAUGHING DOING IT TOO but with the way his everything is being eyed upon,,, this is the least shady thing he can do bc otherwise when that mouth opens it drags esp after this??? drag them to court baeks,,, gotta attend ferarri races only for disappointment 😔😔 but at least seb will be on the track ✊🏻

A lot of Shawols are feeling negative about the song description, I'm skeptical, but it's Shinee after all. Intense piano, something like the beginning of Advice maybe? This comeback is also bittersweet because of Jinki, but I'm still sooo looking forward to it. However...... 😭 https://twitter.com/pansymoons/status/1668272217904365574?t=lw0Cq8MzYXGdKBZl3gnJ3Q&s=19  - this combined with HARD I- are they for real ahdgaggsgagsgssfajshsh

i mean yeah it’s shinee after all,, we’d get a good song either if not the tt then we know the bsides will ABSOLUTELY always carry,,, NO BC I TRIED TO FIGURE ALL OF THIS OUT??? HOW??? LIKE WHAT EVEN IS THIS SM 😭😭

Damn, how to be Hoshi?! https://twitter.com/hoshzone/status/1668567593085706240?t=v9rtKzMcXHxVPkY-9qjCiQ&s=19 and he followed them right after, I'm glad they allowed him to do it, after all the 5 in his IG username stands for Shinee and there's no other explanation

THIS IS SO WHOLESOMELY CUTE 😭😭😭 NO LITERALLY HOSHI THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED SHAWOL

YES YES YES EXACTLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT ATEEZ AND THEIR PHOTOSHOOTS. You know I have all their albums, I was either too blinded by their looks in the past or perhaps the photos were a bit better but now yeah I can see the lack of variety? I can't tell, but my god the shoots rely on their appearance only and sometimes the photos don't even look flattering :/ not to mention the whitewashing and air brushing. There's no depth in those photos. The inspiration may be there, but it's watered down. I have a lot to say about the technical aspects too, it pisses me off not only because I want better for Ateez and don't want KQ to milk fans and give them half assed concepts, but also as someone who dabbled into photography... so fucking annoying. There's so much to be done. The white outfits photos???? For what.... come to think, not only does Ateez lack great comeback photos, they barely have any magazine shoots? Very strange

YES YES !!!!! it’s always the same studio,,, same backdrop, little to none accessories neutral tones,,, i also dabble into photography quite often so my first thought whenever i purchase albums is to see the photo books first bc i need them to be STUNNING my top3 are exo’s, nct’s sticker album but seoul city version the photography in it so sO IMPECCABLE to look at, the shine the colours the angles and the blurs and all??? ive been dying to purchase it,, the scenery is sTUNNING like look at these :::

and then

the difference between them is actually crazy,,, nEED a new photographer for atz + someone who dresses them accordingly to the backdrop— give us colour an outside background (like w diary),, do a kokobop photo scans colour scheme???? UR ABSOLUTELY CORRECT the depth we can get but won’t makes me mad, like how ty did for his album, black and white and his features carried him,, the shadows from his nose and his eye sets, pure artistry,, like those are photos id hang up as art,, have not seen the current album’s photobook but i won’t be surprised at it,, YEAH THE LACK OF MAGAZINE SHOOTS??? LIKE I SAW THIS ON PINTEREST AND WAS SCREAMING AT KQ ???? LIKE GET SHIT LIKE THIS IF U WANNA USE A WHITE BACK DROP GIVE US EDITORIALS???

Ok so Bouncy sounds fun, the preview doesn't really sound like an Ateez's song to me though, the dance looks like it may get popular on Tik Tok lmao. I wish they did something different, but maybe I won't dislike it, I was just hoping for actual singing, but I don't think that's the vibe they're going for right now lmao. It does sound like a summer banger, a good club song and Seonghwa is already eating it up! I'm just worried they're pushing the Hwa rapper agenda and won't give him a lot of singing lines, and look rapper Hwa is cool, but he has such a versatile voice!

it does sound fun and it def is!!! def the best mv aesthetically the chorus is STUCK in my head 😭😭😭 listened to the album, sorry to say but it sounds like a second geurilla album,, few of my friends and i were discussing this and we wished they chose songs like how sm chooses for their group’s bsides,,, it sounds the same but it does sound good just wished for songs like treasure and utopia,, just raw voices, vocals and a dream.

im gonna let u review of it happen so i will comment then 😭😭

Stray Kids' song left me speechless in a bad way at first, but... not to compare, but Skz can just pull off wacky shit, it's their brand at this point, so they sold it to me. Not my fave TT and they have better bsides, e.g. Topline with Tiger JK, but S Class isn't terrible. Hopefully I feel the same about Bouncy

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 i will def check it out now that u mentioned a few, i did hear one where they kept whispering and it just didn’t click w me 😭😭

THE NAKAMOTO YUTA YES! Maybe I'm back to being a Yuta girl now ajdhdhsgagsgaggaags I've always had Taeyong tunnel vision so it's hard to focus on anyone else, besides xenophobic SM doesn't give two shits about him, he needs to go jrock, he has the voice for it, instead he barely exhales on NCT's tracks JAIL. We actually told him we're looking forward to more jrock covers and perhaps an anime opening? I hope something good happens to him and EmbarrasSMENT actually promotes it. At this point he should join WayV, ignored, underrated... 😭😭😭😭 Anyway he was very kind and gentle and we made him laugh with our clown antics, so that's a win!

NO BC IM ACTUALLY SCREAMING ????? ANON IF U DONT PHOTOCOPY THAT AUTOGRAPH AND SEND IT OVER ,,, ITS OVER 🔫 no ur so right, yuta has so much potential he can pull of villain so good + sm need to get him on the big screen like d.o,,, like he can hit big he’s really good at acting esp after the japanese movie he did! NO UR SO RIGHT HE BARELY BREATHES IN THOSE TRACKS LIKE I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW HE SOUNDS LIKE 😭😭😭😭 he should bc at least he can fill that one spot w his magnificent voice <33 AND U MADE HIM LAUGH

I'm so proud of Taeyong, he put his whole heart and Tyongussy into this album and it paid off despite SM not doing much for him, so much for being the company fave... and the fact antis were boycotting him? VILE. Yes, Mark was cheering so loudly it was cute! And Taeyong called Yuta and Taeil out for not attending his showcase, but then they eventually came <3 haven't seen much of Dream, but tbh I don't care about them, sorry 😅

HE REALLY DID!!! that album screams him, from the photos to the entire concept vvv glad he took the initiative for it and got the copy rights at least ik the money will go to him 🧍🏻‍♀️,,, BENBFEKJDKW OH TO BE U AND ATTEND THESE EVENTS 😭😭😭

Taeyong's photocards y'all will be mine... one day 🤧 where did SM get him from? The streets ahsghagshahshs pretty sure they lured him in with bread or some shit..... /// Btw there's one scene in Bloodhounds that was shot at the same location as Skz's Back Door I was like, hold ooooon. Is it good?

LMFAOOOO taeyong photocards are like a new level of expensive which means at least u can get some from his album 😭😭 need his legendary one actually,, FBWKDHWKD IS IT GOOD??? LORD IM WATCHING FOR THAT PLOT BUT THAT DRAMA IS ACTUALLY CRAZY GOOD IM 100% SOLD everyone acts so well im so into it!

now that i think of it, these photo cards are like investment,,, i will sell mine in a few years to come for some moolah and ik that thv card will SELL

You're watching anime illegally, so I'd suggest to look at animepisode.com! They have 10 episodes on there I believe. I mean black hair, blonde hair, pink hair... they're all Seonghwas anyway.

ur my saviour omg i used to watch anime on watchdub.com back in the day and could not find a good place for now BUT IM SO GLAD THANK U THANK U 😭😭😭 all of them are seonghwas, no exception.

Taeyong is going the Kai's route and does challenges with so many people, both for his track and theirs <3 and https://twitter.com/taeoho/status/1668155919962714114?t=EFHbqllTpLsZtbFbv4kJEw&s=19

BUT WHEN DO WE GET MISTA ROVER X MR SHALALAA ?????????? TAEYONG GO VISIT KAIS 9 TO 5 AND GET HIM OUT

Both JYP and KQ and basically everyone else seem to be more relaxed about challenges now, so I hope to see more. The fact there's no Skz x Atz challenge yet is criminal... also LSF appeared on Aespa's channel?! Maybe Hybe is still trying to buy SM aksgdgsfahsgahshshsh

right!! it’s so nice to see everyone in the id is try somehow support each other and promo it, hoping atz also gets a lot!!! NO LITERALLY LIKE WE BETTER GET CHANGBIN DOING THAT CHALLENGE,,, hybe will forever try to buy it 😭😭😭

Ok but his mind! I know it's just a silly Tik Tok, but I'll never not admire his passion and dedication to details. He's so creative too, that's why I always want more for him, I know he's not greedy, but I just want him to have more opportunities 😭 https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1668188123984195585?t=nxxIDzwNPLbn_eGFEwKpvw&s=19

seonghwa director era is coming ??? ur right more of his opportunity to show his art !!!! i hope they get to go on running man this promo season, and lots more!

???

THESE TWO AGAIN MY GOD AND WHAT IF SEONGHWA..... https://twitter.com/TENsfeed/status/1668740420678090753?t=2sCKYa6AXtuNL022D_rQIg&s=19 - DV 💖

WHY DOES TEN LOOK LIKE ROSÉ 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SCREAMS AND NOW HAVE SEONGHWA BY TENS SIDE FBWNFHWK WHEN WHEN WHENNNN!!!!!!

loona to freedom ✊🏻

😭😭

AND??? LMFAOOOO IF I WAS JAEJOONG ID BURN IT & and if all sm artists to jaejoong’s company? he will always have the last laugh

AND EXCUSE ME???? PLAY MMMH RIGHT NOW

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI 3.13 - Cry Murder review

I’m not sure I need to say something about this episode. I mean you all saw it. It was just good. Frankly all of season 3 serves a ‘Atta girl’. You're going above and beyond. And this episode... pure gold!

Seriously I had to think for like 5 minutes for something to put on my 'like less' points because this was fantastic (and that one thing was ‘where my Ferrari? I luv Ferrari, me wanna see rarrri’ uhm yeah, my brain is part fluffy baby mush currently, you have been warned this review might be a tad bit off)! 

Every moment was on point. We got 2 adorable story-lines and a good case. 

Because it’s the least exciting and I’m feeling contrary, let’s talk about the case first. Because this could the start of a beautiful and lucrative friendship...

You see some insurance companies have “recovery specialists” inhouse and some hire PIs for bigger claims / stolen stuff / prove their clients are lying. Insurance companies, as mentioned on the show, also have money. Like lots. (Trust me, I worked as a temp at an insurance company and the money they throw around is ridiculous.)

If the show was smart they could have this lady be regularly brining them cases to do with weird insurance stuff. It could make for some pretty interesting conflict further down the line too because they’re helping the fat cats suddenly rather than the underdogs.

(I’d also like to point out that they actually stopped/ revealed a planed insurance fraud so they should still get paid a chunk for that, different firms have different policies but they should get more than their daily rate + expenses. Just saying.)

Also I want more of the cute insurance chick looking at Magnum all 'he’s fine' and Higgy not liking it. Seriously, if Ethan is going to stick around into season 4 Magnum needs a faux love interest too. 

#wearenotpleased

Even though this episode wasn’t very case focused, what we got was fun and a little twisty and just a good backdrop for the rest of the stuff. Of course they had to throw in a murder but still PI appropriate. I wish they’d do more smaller cases where no one dies or a million dollars is missing (more kind of Burn Notice inspired) where maybe the cops can’t help because the case isn’t ‘serious enough’ but is still ruining the person’s life.

Next up is Magnum getting his finger stuck in the mouse trap, telling Higgy about his pet mouse and then at the ends Juliet giving Magnum a mouse! Roberto the II! Does it get more adorable? IDK.

I love how Higgy is trying. She’s not quite sure how to express herself or how do thing always because she’s so out of practice and probably never had to before (quite the Magnum makes her want to) but she really cares so much even though she’s piss poor at expressing it sometimes. 

Them talking about wanting kids themselves was just... come on! Don’t make me want babies ever after for these two anymore than I already do!  Also two instances of Magnum/Higgy being mistaken for a couple and this lady thinking the baby is theirs? If season 7 don’t end with these idiots married and expecting a baby I will seriously strangle someone. 

 Other golden nuggets in this episode

Juliet singing and playing peekaboo on the phone.

Hiapo’s mom being “they seem like a really nice couple”

(”Not a couple?” #shook.)

TC + Rick being the cutest with the baby! Rick making a baby carrier thing from a backpack? It was just so perfect! As good as shopping cart for a stroller! 

Magnum and Juliet actually being out of breath after running (!!) 

(because authentic! But must have been totally weird to film because how do you fake being out of breath? Run a block before each shoot?)

and the heart-eyes. So many heart-eye moments this episode.

The whole gang saying they want to keep being part of Hiapo's life and then more heart-eyes! 

I really do hope we get to see Hiapo in the next season, even just for a minute. Same with Roberto the Mouse. But they have been a lot better with continuity and bringing things back so maybe!

Yeah. This was possibly one of my favorite episodes of late. It was also on my wish list for season 3 (a baby/kid episode)!

Only minus I got for today is the fact that title is a little lackluster and I missed the Ferrari (but the Porsche is nice too!). I'd love to have a scene of Magnum trying to put the baby seat in the Ferrari and Higgy being all. "That's not going to work." (fic idea...)

Also next week promo is kind of vague and the summary (“A psychic hires Magnum and Higgins to prevent a murder she claims to have foreseen... ....and Higgins struggles with whether or not to tell Ethan the truth about her past”) makes me think we’ll get at scene or two with Ethan but let’s pray we’ll get mostly our faves bickering about psychics, how predicting the future is impossible and them talking about whether she should or not tell Ethan about her spy life! 

I wonder if she really will, because next week is the second to last of the episode (OMG only 2 more episodes of Magnum this season? How will I survive?). If she is supposed to ride off into the sunset with Ethan (or start to and then change her mind?) they can’t really have him be all that upset about it? Not that I think he would but maybe it would throw him for a bit of a curve ball since I figure Richard would be one of the things she told him about... 

Also wondering how it will come up? I’m picturing them walking along a dark street after a nice dinner and a guy tries to rob them (at gun point) and Higgy does a ninja move and takes his gun and is all “run along now before I shoot you” while Ethan does a Surprised Pikachu face. Then Magnum calls with a case and she’s like “Um, gotta go, we’ll talk about this later alright?” #IGotMyPrioritiesStraight

Last thing, bummer about the MacGyver cancelation. Selfishly (because while I like MacGyver, Magnum is my baby) I’m thinking this ups the odds of Magnum getting season 4 (and it does look kind of hopeful from what I was seeing on insta/twitter from someone higher ups, right?) I still signed the petition for season 6 for MacGyver because they deserve at least a last half season to wrap it up nicely!

[babybatscreationsv2]

Here it is! No warnings for this fic besides mentions of bullying and nff content

Peter was anxious about the party, but he thought he hid it well. Ned was so excited and despite everything they suffered at school he seemed confident. Why Ned wanted to go to this party, Peter didn't fully understand. They were only going to get mocked and bullied until they finally ran out the door. Tony Stark had never actually bullied Peter, himself, but some of his friends had. He didn't imagine they were truly welcome despite what Ned thought.

The house was huge. Like, as big as their actual high school, huge. The music was loud enough to be heard outside. The driveway was littered with expensive cars that made it clear the kind of people Tony was friends with. Ned parked his beater at the bottom of the driveway where there was room. They walked up, passing a few kids who stood chatting and vaping beside a yellow Ferrari.

Inside wasn't as packed as Peter pictured in his mind, but the house was still crowded with teens. Most were talking and drinking things that were probably illegal. A few were dancing, but they seemed to already be drunk. At the center of the living room was Tony, sitting on the back of the couch while everyone piled around him. They were all laughing at a story he was telling. Peter couldn't help but stop and stare and imagine that Tony actually wanted him to be there.

"I'm gonna go get us drinks," Ned called over the music.

"What? No," Peter turned his head but his friend was already gone. He sighed. No way was he drinking anything in this house. It was all definitely spiked and eighteen was not exactly drinking age.

A few more people came in which left Peter to drift away from this new group. He choked on the smell of cotton candy vapor.

"Parker, right?" someone said behind him.

Peter jumped and turned around. Everyone was looking at him. He wasn't sure why until he realized, it was Tony who had spoken. Tony Stark who's father owned one of the most important tech companies in the world, who sat wearing his letterman jacket in the school colors as if they didn't know how important he was to the football team.

"Uh, yeah. That's me." Peter winced as he heard himself studder.

Tony smiled. Peter's heart skipped. "Why don't you sit beside me. I've been meaning to get the chance to talk to you."

"Really?" Peter stepped onto the arm of the couch as someone move aside for him. He could feel them all staring, some glaring, as he sat down.

"Yeah really. I saw your science fair project about nano technology applications. My dad doesn't believe nanotech will take off, but thought we could bounce around ideas some time. Show the old man up."

Peter smiled. Tony had this glitter in his eye like science was something naughty. Maybe in a house like his, it is. "I'd love to." He was definitely blushing and it was definitely embarrassing.

"Great!" Tony put a hand on his knee and Peter went warm all over. He left it there as he turned back to his friends and started telling them another story. Peter assumed the hand on his knee meant he was expected to stay and hang out.

Across the room he saw Ned with their drinks. He stared with giant eyes. Peter shrugged at him, but the look he got from Ned meant he was okay with Peter being there.

After a while, Peter started to settle in. Tony was cool and he told cool stories and he was genuinely funny. Peter couldn't stop looking at him face. Sometimes Tony met his eye and Peter swore something changed in his expression but that had to be wishful thinking. And then Flash got to talking about his summer trip to Brazil. Tony looked at him more than he looked at Flash. Halfway through the story, Tony leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Wanna go find something more interesting to do?"

Peter blushed and he was pretty sure that blush went all the way down into his toes. He nodded and Tony smiled. He turned around and hopped off the back of the couch. Peter turned and did the same, hoping he looked half as cool. A few people looked like they intended to follow, then they looked at Peter and sat back down. He wasn't sure what to make of that.

Tony led him upstairs toa huge second floor that seemed to be off limits for the party.

"This is my room," he said, opening a door. He turned on the light and they stepped into a room as big as Peter's apartment. He tried not to look impressed, because that probably wouldn't be cool. "I thought we could enjoy some time just us."

"You wanna talk about nano tech?"

Tony laughed, but it was a gentle, fond, sound rather than the mockery he was used to. The other boy was in his space. His hand came up to touch the back of his neck, his body caged him in against the door. Peter sighed, pleasure zigging through him as Tony kissed him. He was way too hard way too fast and it probably wasn't even cool to get hard just from kissing, but he was. He loved the heat of Tony's hand on his neck, the way his kisses were firm and slow like he was savoring him. Peter's hand held his arm, but the other dangled at his side because he didn't know what to do with it. Then Tony took Peter's hand and slipped it under his shirt were he pressed it against Tony's bare chest.

Peter moaned. He was so hot and solid and so much desire went rocketing through him that he lost control. He pushed Tony back, turning him so he hit the wall. Tony looked surprised, then turned on, and they went back to kissing, but now it was hungry and needy. Peter slid his hands all over, feeling his chest, his neck, his arms. The second Tony tugged Peter's jacket in question, Peter answered by pulling off Tony's jacket for him.

Moving in a dizzying circle, they undressed each other, both of them tripping at least once before the reached the bed. Peter was stripped down to his underwear, while Tony had on nothing but a t-shirt.

Peter sat on the edge of the bed and watch Tony pull of his shirt with a cocky grin. "Top or bottom?" he asked.

Peter thought about it. "I've only ever topped before, but I can... I mean I'm sure you would rather..."

Tony kissed away the anxiety. "It's okay, whatever you're more comfortable with."

"I uh..." Peter chewed his lip, looking at Tony's face.

"I'd love to see your riding my cock," he winked. "but it's up to you."

That sounded really fucking good. Peter nodded. "Perfect, that's so good," he babbled and didn't even have the mind to be embarrassed about it.

"Great." Tony leaned over him and kissed his neck. Peter's knees bent, thighs pulling him in. They kissed, slowly turning over so Peter was on top, Tony laying back in the pillows.

One condom and some lube later, Peter was gritting his teeth trying to take too much too fast. Tony's hands held his hips.

"Just take it slow, don't rush it. It won't feel good if you take too much at once."

Peter took his advice and slowed down. Tony up enough to kiss him, distracting until he was fully seated and then longer until it wasn’t painful. When he felt ready, he started to slow roll his hips. The sound Tony made, had Peter shivering.

"Fuck, that's good, baby, you're so tight." He kissed him until he couldn't, until Peter was going too fast to allow it. It was actual bliss to look down at Tony's Stark's beautiful face, beautiful body, his cock perfect inside him. He didn't think it could get better until Tony spit into his hand and started to stroke Peter's cock.

"Gonna cum for me, Peter?"

"Fuck yeah," he moaned. He rolled his hips into Tony's hand then back on his cock. He was so close and felt so good, better than anything he'd ever had.

"Yeah, gonna make me cum, too, you feel so good." There was a shine on his lip like he was drooling, his eyes so deep and dark.

Peter cried out, fingers scratching Tony's shoulders, cum making a mess of his hand and his belly. He kept going, only slowing for a moment, determined to be a fuck worth the locker room talk.

"Fuck, Peter," he moaned. His eyes fluttered shut. His fucking O face was as unfairly beautiful as the rest of him and Peter commited it to memory 'cause he was gonna jack off to it for the rest of his life.

He figured Tony would be done with him after that, but instead he cleaned them up with some tissues and pulled Peter down beside him. He wrapped an arm around him and kissed him slow and sweet until Peter felt hazy, ready to fall asleep in his arms. He was still floating and content some time later when Tony got out of bed and got dressed. He left Peter with a quick kiss and his phone number on a torn in half tissue.

[gingrrfrog]

the most beautiful thing

“have I told you lately that I’m grateful you’re mine?”

summary: the story of the beginning of forever 

word count: 7.5k

pairing: jaehyun x jihyun (oc) 

warnings: fluff, smut 

a/n: u guys know the drill hehe, original story here :] 

After being together for more than ten years, surprising a partner for their birthday doesn’t come without difficulty. Jaehyun remembered having headaches the days leading up to Jihyun’s birthday from trying to plan something special. Meanwhile, Jihyun lost sleep over what to perform for Jaehyun’s birthday.

It should be said that it wasn’t fair to her that Jaehyun didn’t expect anything for his birthday. He always told Jihyun not to waste her time considering they were both too busy to participate in anything usually, and while it was true, that didn’t mean Jihyun didn’t want to prepare any less. The truth was, the restaurant was always packed with customers on Valentine’s day even months before starting this past December. The only difference this Valentine’s day was that this was the year she was going to prove Jaehyun wrong and use this opportunity to prepare a surprise for her hardworking boyfriend.

The goal of the surprise was not only to spoil Jaehyun, but to also prove that she was good at being other things-- other things that included a title that rhymed with entree.

On the morning of Valentine’s day, Jihyun woke up early to sneak her way downstairs to prepare the cake she had bought the night before. Today was the only day she was going to spoil him with sweets before breakfast.

She shoved a candle through the pastry and made her way back up the stairs to their bedroom where Jaehyun was sleeping peacefully, squished in between two pillows. Jihyun gently pressed into him and snorted when he groaned, pushing her back into what would be on her side of the bed.

“Happy birthday to you,” she started quietly, “happy birthday to you.”

Jaehyun clenched his eyes and used his palms to rub at his eyelids before opening them to make eye contact with a slice of cake, “happy birthday dear Jaehyunnie.”

“Happy birthday to you,” Jihyun smiled, kissing his forehead and smoothing hair behind his ears as he struggled to sit up. “Make a wish, baby.”

Jaehyun gave a sleepy laugh before closing his eyes once more, thinking thoroughly about his wish before opening them again to blow out his candle, “Cake for breakfast?”

“Once a year can’t hurt.”

Jaehyun shared his cake slice with Jihyun to save room for actual breakfast, which actually consisted of traditional seaweed soup. If Jaehyun looked forward towards anything for his birthday, it would always be the soup Jihyun would make for him every year.

Like every year. Jihyun apologized for not being able to celebrate Jaehyun’s birthday properly the same way they did for hers. He reassured her over and over again that it wasn’t an issue and that he would most likely go out for dinner with his brothers anyway.

Except he won’t.

Because Jihyun already made plans.

After breakfast, the couple washed dishes while they took turns showering. Jihyun was the first to leave that morning, kissing her boyfriend on the cheek while he hastily toweled his hair. She reassured him that she would call him later during her short breaks if he wasn’t busy, to which Jaehyun replied with a hum and a sweet kiss before she left.

Jaehyun peaked out of the bathroom before he ran back into their bedroom, lifting the mattress topper and removing a small white box from the inside, sighing in relief when he saw the engagement ring still in place, safe from Jihyun’s curious eye.

Was it cliche to propose on Valentine’s day of all days? Of course it was, but if Jaehyun knew anything about Jihyun, it was that she was weak for cliches. That reason alone is why he constructed his own surprise dinner for when she came back home after work. He would have to leave work early himself to get the necessary groceries for what he had planned, but Jihyun surely wouldn’t come home until late tonight considering the date.

He snickered to himself at the idea of his plan and placed the ring in his front pocket, patting it gently to make sure it was safe before he left for work himself.

Later on in the day, after about four hours of strenuous work without a break, Jihyun finally managed to fight through the dreaded lunch rush, locking the front door and switching the sign to closed for lunch as her workers piled around for their lunch break.

Taeyong was the first to collapse in the nearest booth, huffing and propping his leg on a nearby chair while two other waitresses sat in the same booth, one putting her head on the table.

“If I see one more engagement proposal I’m going to jump off the roof,” one cried, her voice muffled against the table.

Jihyun laughed in response, hanging her apron up as she packed her things nicely in her bag.

“You’re not eating with us today, Chef? Another waitress asked, watching as Jihyun slung her purse over her shoulder.

Jihyun smiled and shook her head, “Not today.”

Taeyong grinned and nudged the waitress next to him with his elbow, “don’t you know? It’s Yuno’s birthday today.”

The waitress sighed and squished her face in between her hands, “oh yeah, I guess we should expect an announcement tonight too.”

“You need at least two weeks for a pregnancy announcement,” Taeyong snorted, dodging Jihyun’s pen as she cursed at him.

“I’m not getting pregnant!”

“So you’re not practicing?”

Jihyun narrowed her eyes and dashed over to choke her best friend until a line cook came around and spun her towards the door, a smile wide on his face as he patted her shoulder, “have fun, Chef Jihyun! We’ll be here waiting for either announcement and we’ll be happy to hear both!”

“I’m not--!”

“Have a good day!”

“But--!” Jihyun huffed as the line cook locked the door behind her again, waving with a dopey grin on his face before he walked off, leading Jihyun to roll her eyes a dn give a small laugh, waving to her workers in the window as she walked to her car, enjoying her newfound freedom. It had been a while since she last left work before the sun was down so she took the time to relish in the sunlight despite the bleary clouds it hid under.

There were a few spots she wanted to hit before she went home to cook Jaehyun his birthday dinner. The first spot would be near where her boyfriend worked, an underdeveloped area that was mostly construction and abandoned buildings, parking at a near garage before locking her car next to the only few expensive cars in the lot, ones that she recognized as Yuta’s black Portofino Ferrari and Mark’s stark white Range Rover.

Huh, she thought to herself. It wasn’t unusual to see them around town knowing that this was their main workplace, but to see both of them in broad daylight was a little surprising to her. She shook her head and continued to walk out of the parking garage with the same confidence as one of her boyfriend’s members would have, knowing that no one would dare pull her to the side or try anything suspicious--not anyone who knew who she was at least.

She was lucky enough to find people who didn’t know who she was today, however, as she passed by measly looking workers sitting outside on worn out lawn chairs, staring at Jihyun up and down with a sly look to her face.

Jihyun almost wished they said something. If there was something her restaurant employees didn’t know is that she loved power of any kind, so if there was someone that needed a lesson to be taught, she would happily be the cause of said reason. Jaehyun admitted that it scared it sometimes, but that it also undeniably turned him on. Jihyun grinned when she heard the whistle come behind her.

“Goodmorning, Miss!”

Jihyun kept walking, luring them closer to Mark’s looming figure in the background. She felt a hand on her shoulder as she removed her sunglasses, her face calm as she stared at the hand before looking at the person in front of her.

“Are you lost, Miss?”

“I don’t believe so,” she replied, gently shaking the hand off her shoulder and pressing her sunglasses back on her face. “Have a good day.”

“Are you looking for someone? I bet I can help you.”

“I don’t need your help. Thank you.” Jihyun smiled, continuing to walk towards her destination until she felt a hand on her again, this time on her forearm.

“Are you coming to see your boyfriend or something?”

“No, I’m here to see a friend.”

“You’ve got friends around these parts?”

“Don’t you think you’re asking too many questions?” Jihyun continued, looking the worker up and down.

“I’m just surprised to see a pretty, little--”

“Jihyun noona!” Mark called out, jogging towards her with a bright smile before he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “What are you doing here?!”

Mark paused when he saw her forearm being held, his eyebrows furrowing before he shoved the man in front of him, “do you have any idea who you’re grabbing right now?”

“Mark. it’s okay--” Jihyun almost wanted to pout. She didn’t get to play much longer.

“No it’s not,” Mark growled. “Just wait til I tell Jaehyun hyung about this-”

She clicked her tongue. No more fun if Jaehyun was finding out. “I promise it’s fine! Please don’t tell him, I’m here for a surprise anyway. It’ll ruin it if you tell him.”

“I didn’t mean anything! I’m sorry! I just thought she was lost--!”

“Shut up,” Mark rolled his eyes. “Do you think you can just call out for the boss' girlfriend like that?”

Jihyun scrunched her nose, “I’m more than that.”

“Right, sorry. Kim Jinho’s only daughter.”

Still belittling her to a man’s relative but at least he was trying. Jihyun patted his shoulder and leaned against it, “take care of it however you would like, Minhyung. I’m going inside to see Hera, but don’t tell Jaehyun. Tell him tomorrow.”

Jihyun thanked him quietly before waving towards the man in front of her with a smile, his eyes wide in fear. Surely nothing would happen to him, Mark was much kinder than her boyfriend when it came to occurrences like these. Jihyun could imagine the endless possibilities if it was Jaehyun, but Mark would surely only smack him a few times as a warning just to scare him.

Unless he was in a bad mood, then, Jihyun assumed, it would be a lot worse.

Jihyun entered a building without another peep from another gangster, all of them averting their gaze as the two at the door held the door open for her. She smiled a greeting before stepping inside and towards the elevator, watching the numbers on the screen rise as she reached the seventh level, stepping outside and walking down the hallway and stopping at the store front.

Sex shops were not unheard of in Seoul, but God forbid you were seen stepping inside one, or worse, working at one.

Hera, despite her degree in business administration, worked at one of these said sex shops. Even worse than that, she owned the place, becoming one of the biggest, best kept secrets of her own. From dildos, fuck machines to actual prostitutes for hire, Hera quickly became enraveled in the world of illegitemacy thanks to her quick affair with one Nakamoto Yuta who jump started her career.

Despite their relationship being cut short, it didn’t stop the other man from visiting to quickly relieve pent up stress, which appeared to be the case today considering a part-timer was at the register instead of her friend. Yuta’s car being in the garage suddenly made sense to her now.

“May I see your ID?” The girl at the register said.

Jihyun snorted as her ego inflated. It was good to know she still looked young despite her twenty-seventh birthday being around the corner.

As the presumed college student checked her ID, Jihyun looked around for her friend, receiving her ID with a smile and placing it back in her wallet.

“Is Hera around?”

“Um, I think she’s at the motel a floor above us.”

“Working or working it?” Jihyun grinned. She laughed upon watching the cashier blush. It was endearing, blushing about sex while you work in a shop chock full of it everywhere.

“She was with Mr. Yuta if that means anything.”

Jihyun clicked her tongue, her manicured fingernails tapping against the desk, “that could mean either one.”

“They left about an hour ago. Miss Hera said she wouldn’t be gone more than that.”

Finally, Jihyun smiled and nodded, quickly glancing at her name tag, “thank you either way, Hyoju. I’m going to look around! Let her know that I’m here when she comes back.”

Hyoju nodded and went back to looking at her phone, presumably to send said message to her boss.

Jihyun took her time looking around for her items. Nothing too terrifying save for the shibari rope and a few different balms she was curious about using. Jihyun shuddered at the thought, a small grin playing on her face.

“Do I want to know?” A familiar voice said behind her.

Jihyun turned her head around to give a knowing look to her friend, whose appearance is slightly more messy than usually. Jihyun rolled her eyes and embraced her friend with a small side hug, “Yuta oppa treating you well?”

“Best oral giver in all of Seoul,” she grinned.

“I’d like to argue,” Jihyun smiled, pushing Hera’s shoulder with her own.

“You and I both know I have no way of testing that,” Hera snickered. “What brings you here? Looking for something new?”

“Kind of. I was looking up some different things. Jaehyun liked tying me up a while ago, so I might just do that. I feel like it’s kind of boring.”

“You know he would bust just looking at you, right?”

Jihyun snorted, “I guess. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to try something fun.”

“Have you ever thought of tying him up?”

The thought has crossed her mind, but there was no way he would let her, not without telling him beforehand at least. Jihyun grimaced and tilted her head to the side pensively, “I don’t know...Yuno doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Are you kidding? Guys love having their hands tied up, just take a step further once you’ve done that, he won’t even get the chance to say anything.” Hera glanced inside of her basket and grinned, “those nipple balms by the way? I heard they work magic on the balls.”

Jihyun bit her lip and shifted her weight on her left leg, hating that she twitched at the thought. Hera noticed that she still wasn’t convinced, pulling her towards the vibrator section and picking out a small pill, winking at her friend as she placed it in her basket.

“It’s cliche, I know, but it’s remote powered. You’d be the one in control.”

“What if he doesn’t like it?”

Hera shook her head, “he’ll love it because he’s doing it with you, Gigi. You might want to draw the curtains in though.”

“Can’t imagine Jaehyun wanting people to see him a point of vulnerability,” Hera said after dropping her voice a few decibels to a small whisper. “But, he can be vulnerable, for you.”

Fuck Hera and her salemanship, who knows what would’ve became of her had she chosen an office salesmen job. Jihyun narrowed her eyes regardless, holding her basket close to her chest, “why do I get the feeling that you’re just trying to make buy things?”

“Because I am, duh. I’m a store owner,” Hera smiled. “But, I also want my best friend to have fun.”

Jihyun rolled her eyes, “fine. I’ll take it.”

“Nice!” Hera cheered, pulling her towards the register, “I’ll ring you out myself!”

With discreet bags, Jihyun left Hera’s store with a pep talk and a slap to her butt, causing her to yelp and rub her backside as she entered the elevator. She passed by the lowly gangster on her way back, a black eye and a busted lip with his eyes downcast when he saw her walking past. She smiled a greeting before she continued to pass by him, noticing that both Mark and Yuta’s cars were gone from beside her own.

When she arrived home, she quickly walked up the stairs and shoved the bags under their bed. Once she finished, she looked at the clock and panicked when she realized Jaehyun would be home in four more hours, running into the bathroom and yanking off her work clothes as quickly as she could in order to shower.

After shaving and hastily drying her hair, she prepared her skin for makeup, opting for a soft brown look as she pulled on the lingerie set she bought earlier this week. Pulling on her pink slip dress right after, she worked on her hair, rolling it into loose waves before she cursed at the time.

Now she only had two hours til Jaehyun came home.

Cooking dinner shouldn’t take that long considering Jihyun had prepared her mise en place earlier this morning, but she would’ve felt more comfortable having more time to prepare his other presents that were upstairs. Regardless of her nerves, she found her rhythm in the kitchen, effortlessly chopping, slicing, and cooking their meal until she finished an hour and a half later, giving her at least thirty minutes to set the mood with candle lighting and a few records Jaehyun kept in their living room. Just as she was going upstairs to prepare a few last minute things, she heard the front door open and close, a yawn resonating through the room while Jihyun smiled at his humming.

“What the fuck?” She heard him say to himself, confused to smell food until he walked into the kitchen with his eyes widened as soon as he made eye contact with Jihyun.

“Surprise,” she said quietly, raising her hands in the air as Jaehyun gave a shocked laugh. “Happy birthday again.”

Jaehyun shook his head, “I thought you were at work!”

“I left after lunch. I wanted to spend your birthday together because it’s been too long since we last did.”

Jaehyun gave a dopey smile, his dimples in full display as he pulled her in for an embrace, pecking her sweetly as Jihyun wiped lipgloss off his lips, “thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“This isn’t fair though,” Jaehyun pouted, “I was going to surprise you for Valentine’s day.”

“Oh? With what?”

“Dinner,” he snorted. “Maybe a bath.”

“Well,” Jihyun’s arms snaked around his neck, “maybe we can take a bath after I give you my present.”

Jaehyun grinned, his hands moving down her waist and resting on the small of her back, “something tells me that dinner isn’t my present.”

“You would be correct,” she beamed, pulling him in for another kiss before taking his hand and leading him towards the dining room table.

Dinner was eaten in a relatively quiet manner, though comfortable as the couple’s hands were clasped together--Jaehyun’s thumb running over her knuckles every so often as Jihyun kissed his. They let dishes soak for the night after they finished eating, opting to join each other for a dance in the living room.

Jihyun rested her head against his chest as they swayed back and forth, smiling to herself at Jaehyun’s gentle humming. His hand was holding her own on his heart, as if to give a silent reminder that it belonged to her, and that it always will. She couldn’t think of a more perfect moment, forgetting all about the other gift she had planned as all she wanted to do was be closer and closer to the man she loved, the love of her life.

Jihyun pulled away just slightly to kiss her boyfriend gingerly, the latter leaning in to receive the kiss with a small smile.

“I love you,” he said against her lips. Jaehyun pulled away momentarily just to say it again, “I love you, Kim Jihyun.”

“I love you, Jung Jaehyun,” she returned, her fingers resting on his cheek.

“Thank you for today. It means the world to me.”

Jihyun giggled, “it was just dinner, baby. We always have dinner together.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less grateful. I bet you were swamped at work today, but you still came home and did all of this for me for my birthday.”

“I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you, that’s all.”

Jihyun closed the gap in between their faces as they shared another sweet kiss. Jaehyun sighed and pulled her close, almost feeling frustrated that they couldn’t be any closer as he fell back on the couch. Jihyun smiled and settled herself on his lap, their sweet, gentle kiss turning into one with more passion as the seconds passed.

Jaehyun groaned and pulled away, confusing Jihyun as he dug in his pockets, “--I can’t.”

“Huh?”

“I was going to wait for a better setting than our couch, but I really can’t hold it in.”

Jihyun furrowed her eyebrows as she watched the man in front of her retrieve a small box from his pocket, her eyes widening instantly, “Yuno?”

Her breathing caught in her throat as he opened it to reveal a large diamond ring that sparkled in the dim candle lighting.

“I love you, I really love you, Gigi. I can’t wait another day, another hour, minute, second without telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Jaehyun swallowed and began to feel his ears heat up, Jihyun caressing them as he continued. “I love you. I love you more everyday and I’ll love you more every day after that.”

“Marry me, Jihyun,” he said gently. “Won’t you marry me, baby?”

“Of course, I want nothing more,” she smiled, pressing her lips against his, “yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”

Jaehyun beamed, a smile so bright that it lit up the dark room as he slid the ring down her finger before kissing the ring, “perfect. Just like you.”

The couple reconnect their embrace quickly, kissing the other feverishly before Jihyun pulled away first, caressing the sides of his face as she kissed the very tip of his nose.

“Come upstairs with me.”

Jaehyun swallowed and felt his heart pound in his chest. After all these years, she still made him undeniably nervous. “Is it time for my second present?”

Jihyun nodded and bit her lip to contain her smile, failing as she giggled while they stumbled up the stairs, unable to keep their hands off the other as Jihyun squealed when Jaehyun ultimately picked her up in the end, throwing her over his shoulder before throwing her on top the bed.

Jihyun was breathless with laughter, her smile wide as she pulled Jaehyun on top of her, her legs fastening around his hips as she kissed him. Jaehyun pecked her lips before he began to undo his tie, throwing the spare fabric to the side before Jihyun picked it up again.

She pulled away for a moment, just to push Jaehyun on his back as she nervously began to start her plan, “I...I have this...plan…”

“A plan?”

Jihyun burned upon Jaehyun scrutiny, her now fiance staring at her curiously as she moved the tie over his eyes, “is this okay?”

“Am I allowed to know the plan?”

Jihyun shook her head, cursing to herself when she realized he couldn’t see her, “um, no. But, just trust me. Promise me to keep it on and that you won’t look?”

“I...promise.” Jaehyun sounded just as apprehensive as she did, but otherwise supportive as Jihyun continued with her plan.

She supposed it wasn’t too late for her to remove it and tell him to tie her up instead of him, but she wanted to do this. She wanted to do something different. Jihyun swallowed harshly and set the rope to the side for later use, instead opting to kiss Jaehyun again, warming him up as she began to peel his clothes off layer by layer,

For the time being, Jaehyun didn’t mind the makeshift blindfold. It heightened his senses everytime Jihyun kissed him everywhere that wasn’t his mouth. He tried to keep his sounds contained for the most part, but once Jihyun grazed his length, it was impossible for him not to let out a small gasp. It was embarrassing but not as embarrassing as his dick twitching when Jihyun kissed his forehead.

God, he thought to himself. What is wrong with me?

“Do you trust me?” Jihyun asked in his ear, her breath leaving goosebumps on the skin surrounding. She punctuated her question with a small squeeze to his length, a groan passing his lips.

“Yes,” he said quickly. He would’ve said fuck yes, but he didn’t want to sound any more desperate than he already was.

“I kind of...want to try something, but I’m only going to do it if you’re okay with it,” she explained with kisses to his chest. “Tell me your colors, please baby?”

Jaehyun burned under the blindfold, his ears surely a violent pink as he opened his mouth, “um, green is keep going...red is stop?”

“Perfect,” she cooed, kissing his collarbone. “I’m going to add one more, okay?”

Jaehyun nodded, groaning when he felt her hands on his bare length this time, pumping him earnestly. He took shaky breaths as he felt Jihyun’s lips next to his ear again, kissing the tip of said ear before she said her next instructions, “whenever you’re about to cum, can you say pink for me, Jaehyunnie?”

Jaehyun tilted his head back, breathlessly saying, “pink.”  

Jaehyun felt himself being pulled up and a weight on his lap, Jihyun kissing him sweetly as she hugged him tightly. Jaehyun felt that she was still clothed under him, slightly pouting as he bundled up her dress in his hands so as to remove it.

“You’re so cute,” she hummed against his lips. “You’re so good for me, baby, I love you so so much.”

Jaehyun didn’t know what was going on for him to deserve this much praise, but he had no idea up until now how much he loved it. He wanted to hear more, moving his hands to her pert bottom, taking handfuls as he moved the dress up to grab handfuls of it.

“Hold on,” she kissed him quickly, pulling away despite his groan.

“Where are you going?” He whined, moving his hands towards the blindfold in attempts to remove it before he felt his hands being held by her.

“You said you would keep it on,” she whined next. Jaehyun wanted to roll his eyes, he could see her pout.

“Fine fine,” he sighed. Her hands left his own as he felt something soft being bound around his wrists, his eyes widening behind the blindfold as he realized what was going on. His dick only got harder upon realizing that she was tying him up, but that it wasn’t stopping there.

Jihyun tried her best to make sure she hid her shaky hands, cursing silently to herself when the knot wouldn’t tighten the way she wanted. It took a few tries, but she managed to tie his hands together so that they were resting behind his back.

“Are you okay?” She asked timidly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“More than okay,” he smiled. “A little...embarrassing.”

“Now you know how I felt,” she teased, kissing his Adam’s apple.

“Maybe I’ll be a little more considerate next time.”

Jihyun scoffed, “maybe?”

She took just the smallest bit of balm on her finger, taking Jaehyun’s length in her hands again and pressing the balm just slightly on the underside of his balls, watching him jolt with a smile on her face.

“Fuck!” Jaehyun groaned, his exclamations cut off by another moan as the balm sent a warm tingle throughout his length.

Lastly, before Jihyun decided to remove the blindfold, came the ties around his member. Jihyun used a softer rope for this, watching Jaehyun squirm as she wrapped the rope around the underside before tying it off. She admired the color of it before she continued, her fingers just barely dipping into the tip.

“This isn’t fair,” he pouted, wriggling against his restraints. “I want to see you, I need to see you, baby.”

“Be patient, Yuno,” she cooed, pushing the straps of her dress down her shoulders and kicking it to the side of the chair. She began to open the vibrator in her hands, already having the app downloaded in advance before she quickly calibrated it.

Jihyun slowly inserted the vibrator inside of her, sighing quietly as she turned it on to a slight hum, just barely against her g spot before she moved over to Jaehyun again to remove his blindfold.

Jaehyun blinked at the sudden light and swallowed upon seeing her pale pink set, Jihyun showcasing the lingerie as his dick twitched again in it’s restraints, “oh my god.”

“Am I pretty?” She asked, a smile playing on her lips.

“Pretty is an understatement...a severe one.”

Jaehyun’s eyes wander down to the sound of a small buzzing, blinking as Jihyun sat in front of him, moving her underwear on the side to reveal the vibrator inside of her, buzzing gently on the command from her phone.

“What’s…?”

“I went to go see Hera, and she told me to get this cute little vibrator, apparently I can control it with an app…” Jihyun opened the said app, raising the intensity slightly and gasping. “I’d let you control it but...you don’t have any free hands.”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes, “you’re evil. A demon.”

Jihyun laughed as she peeled off her underwear to give him a clear view, the intensity on the tiny pill getting higher as her finger slipped. She moaned out, her toes curling as she quickly turned it down, catching her breath as she watched Jaehyun all but drool.

“Untie me,” he ordered. Jihyun grinned and shook her head.

“No.”

“I think you should untie me.”

“I think,” Jihyun moved towards the head of his length, taking the tip in between her lips to give it a wet kiss, “you’re talking too much.”

Jaehyun was just beginning to feel the implications of the bondage on his member as Jihyun passed her lips past the tip of his length and inching towards the end, moaning loudly as the vibrations from her mouth sent shivers down his spine. He groaned and cursed without remorse, his hips thrusting into her mouth as she pressed him down, pulling away with a wet pop and she clicked her tongue.

“I hope you’re not forgetting your colors, baby,” she patronized, pressing wet kisses to his taut balls.

“Fuck you,” he groaned. Jihyun grinned and took his cock in her mouth in one fell swoop, gagging slightly as her throat tightened around his length, Jaehyun’s head thrown back as he swore. “Fuck, Jihyun, baby--”

“Am I doing good?”

“So good, so fucking good--” He frowned when she pulled away, watching her face constrict before he realized the vibrator was at it’s highest setting again. Jihyun sat up and on his lap, her hands resting on his stomach as she rubbed herself against his thigh, leaving a small wet spot as she clawed at the skin.

“Fuck, Jaehyun, holy shit--”

Jaehyun flexed his thigh and watched her rub against him with a sly smirk, Jihyun falling against his chest as she finally orgasmed, breathing heavily as the toy continued to hum inside of her. Jaehyun’s eyes fixated on her phone that was just in perfect reach of his foot, taking advantage of his fiancee taking a breather to use his free appendage to set the vibrator on it’s highest level again, watching Jihyun gasp as she again grabbed his waist.

“What are you--?!” Jihyun reached for the phone but jumped when Jaehyun kicked it nearly across the room, ready to release an indignant reaction before he trapped her in between his legs, another violent orgasm on it’s way as she was being overstimulated.

“Get off!” She begged, her hands clawing at his legs as her oversensitivity spiked. “Jaehyun, I can’t--I can’t--”

Jihyun whimpered and cried, sniveling against his stomach as she came again, her toes curling as Jaehyun finally released his hold on her, a grin on his lips as Jihyun glared at the man in front of her. She pulled the vibrator out from inside of her, whimpering slightly.

“Sorry,” he smiled.

Jihyun ignored him as she searched for the tie again, silently fuming as she searched far and wide. Jaehyun pouted and nudged her with his knee, “I said I was sorry.”

“Shut up.”

Jaehyun pressed his lips together and he followed his orders, pouting again when he was embraced by darkness once again, the tie being wrapped around his eyes. He felt her hover over him again, his upper teeth meeting his bottom lip.

“Gigi--”

Jihyun held his jaw closed, her lips ghosting over his lips once more, “what part of shut the fuck up don’t you understand?”

Jaehyun swallowed. If he wasn’t hard before he definitely was now.

“I try and do something nice,” she started, her hand trailing from his jaw down to his neck before it reached behind her to grab his cock. “And yet, you always find a way to make it about yourself.”

“But--”

“Stop,” she ordered. “You don’t get to say anything, okay, baby? All you get to say are your three colors, do you understand?”

Jaehyun nodded.

“What’s your color now, Yuno?”

“Green.” The brightest green. The loudest green, whatever green will make her touch him somehow.

“You like this, don’t you?” He heard her say, “you like showing everyone you’re in charge, that you’re in control...but you like being ordered just as much as the next man.”

“I guess it helps that you’re mine,” she breathed, kissing him sweetly, “and that I have you wrapped around my finger.”

Jaehyun wouldn’t argue that. He wouldn’t be in this situation if it were false.

“You belong to me,” she reminded, taking the length in her hand and gently running her hand up and down. “Right, baby?”

Jaehyun opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it in turn to nod instead. He could hear her smile.

“Good boy, good Jaehyunnie,” Jihyun cooed. “Do you want me to fuck me, honey?”

Jaehyun nodded again, his cock painfully hard and pulsating in Jihyun’s hands as she squeezed it.

“Do you think you deserve it though?” She asked carefully, snatching her hand away from him as she completely removed herself from him. Jaehyun groaned, his hips lifting from the bed as he tried to search for her desperately. Suddenly, he heard a familiar humming, but before he could pin the noise, it was being pressed against the underside of his balls.

“Fuck, Jihyun!”  

“Shh, Jaehyun. What did I say?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he moaned, his hips lifting off the bed again. “Pink, fuck, pink!”

Jihyun removed the toy from his length at the very last minute. Jaehyun took shaky deep breaths as she caressed his thighs with the toy, watching Jaehyun twitch anytime the vibrator came in close contact to his cock.

“You never answered my question, Jaehyun,” Jihyun hummed, lowering the intensity before pressing it to the tip of his cock, just barely humming against skin but enough to make the man under her writhe. “Do you think you deserve my pussy, baby?”

Jaehyun nodded fervently. Please please please, he begged internally.

“Sit up.”

He did as he was told, sitting up against the headboard as he felt something wet on his length again, presumably her mouth judging by the way it closed and the way her humming made him moan.

“I’m still thinking about it,” she said, pressing kisses into the hot skin. “I’m so wet, no thanks to you, I swear to God I thought I would squirt if you left the vibrator on any longer. Good thing you didn’t.”

Goddammit, Jaehyun thought to himself.

“But,” Jihyun caressed his cheeks as she once again, removed the blindfold from his face. What met her were blown out pupils, watching her own with wonder, with anticipation, and the most notably love, absolute, head spinning, foolish love. Jaehyun was smitten with the woman above him and there was nothing he could do about it.

Jihyun sighed, “but...I guess I can be a little forgiving.”

Jaehyun smiled widely, still not allowed to speak as he pressed his lips against her wrist, a small gesture of gratitude.

Jihyun leaned in to press her lips against his for what felt like the upteenth time, reaching behind her once again to press his length into her expectant folds, Jaehyun pulled away to moan loudly, his eyes tightened as he tilted his head back. Jihyun started slowly, her hips barely moving against his but breathing quite heavily, their lips connecting every so often for quick pecks as Jihyun gradually picked up the pace.

Jaehyun nudged his head against the bra that was barely on her anymore, using his teeth to signal for her to take it off before Jihyun got the message, a smile on her face as she reached behind her to play with the clasp, removing it and tossing it to the side before holding her fiance’s face close to her chest. Jaehyun took it as a sign to do what he wished then, biting and sucking anywhere he could reach before he took a nipple in between his lips, looking up at Jihyun who mewled at the touch.

Jaehyun wouldn’t last any longer like this, but he wanted to keep going, he didn’t want to dream about pulling away but once his orgasm loomed dangerously over his head, he pulled away from Jihyun’s breast to kiss her sternum.

“Pink,” he breathed, shuddering as Jihyun continued to move her hips against his. Jaehyun moaned loudly, “pink, pink, pink--”

“Oh!” She quickly realized, pulling out and watching Jaehyun writhe under her, groaning loudly as he huffed in response, his head spinning.

“Are you okay?” Jihyun asked quietly, a small sign of tenderness and a dash of regret as she watched him in concern. Jaehyun smiled weakly, nodding with a kiss to her shoulder.

“Green,” he replied, welcoming Jihyun’s kiss as he felt his cock press against her pussy once more, his eyes fluttering closed as he felt Jihyun follow the rhythm once more.

Again, Jaehyun would chant out pink until Jihyun pulled away, watching him squirm for a few minutes until she would ride him again and again.

Around the forth time of edging him, Jihyun switched the position slightly so that she was facing away from him, giving him a clear view of her back as she started with an aggressive speed this time, her hips working to send him over the edge as he chanted out his color again. He had little regard for these rules this time as he realized Jihyun did too, chanting out her name and praises as she continued to slam her hips against his.

“Fuck Gigi,” he gasped, his hips meeting hers with his own thrust, “Jihyun, baby, I’m going to cum--fuck, oh baby, baby, baby--”

Jihyun pulled away but it seemed it would be far too late as Jaehyun came with a flash of white, his moans and curses falling from his lips like prayer as Jihyun was the Goddess he prayed to. With a dry orgasm ruining his high, all he could do was whimper and thrash against his restraints.

“So pretty,” Jihyun praised, kissing his chest. “Dry orgasm, honey?”

Jaehyun’s face felt hot in both embarrassment and need, nodding his head dumbly as Jihyun moved to remove the restraints around his cock. He wanted to cry when he finally felt the rope off of his length, and he thinks he might’ve, considering the space around the corner of his eyes was slightly damp.

“I love you,” he mumbled, still feeling stupid from his orgasm as his head tilted around, “I love you, please let me touch you.”

Jihyun snorted, “turn around.”

Jaehyun did as he was told, feeling something cold against his skin that he recognized as scissors cutting at the rope. Jihyun saved his hands for last, tossing the scissors to the side as she rubbed the rope marks on his wrists before kissing them gently.

“Are you okay, Yuno?” She asked softly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes after Jaehyun pulled her in for an embrace, holding her tightly against his chest.

“More than okay,” he reassured, “you’re amazing.”

Jihyun smiled and wrapped her legs around his waist as it was his turn to hover over her this time. She watched him expectantly, a smile wide on her face as he took his time to caress every square inch of her body, every mole and freckle.

“My turn?” He asked carefully, watching her reaction through his lashes.

Jihyun smiled and nodded, “your turn, baby. All yours.”

The rest of the night was spent with Jaehyun’s great attention to detail, making sure to press kiss to every inch of Jihyun’s body with his hand trailing over it not too long after it. She felt dizzy from the attention and the love, eventually pulling Jaehyun in for a kiss as they spent it in close proximity. Even if their lips weren’t connected, they were always trailing over the other, sweet breath fanning in the other’s face as smiles and quiet laughter was shared.

Even at the end of the night and into the early morning, Jaehyun refused to remove himself from her, opting to fall exhausted in her chest with a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed upon feeling her fingers carting through his thick hair, a small smile on his lips upon feeling the engagement ring just slightly brush against his scalp. He could die here, and he wouldn’t have any complaints.

Despite how tired the two were, neither of them seemed to be falling asleep. Although Jaehyun’s eyes were closed, he remained awake as he opened his eyes every so often to make idle chit chat with his now fiancee, who seemed just as restless as him.

Just as the sky was beginning to lighten, Jihyun offered to wash up quickly, causing Jaehyun to frown at the suggestion but following close by anyway, realizing that he didn’t like being as sticky as he felt and falling into the tub with Jihyun. It wasn’t until he was submerged under the hot water that he realized how sleepy he was, struggling to keep his eyes open as Jihyun mumbled musings pressed against his chest. It was only worse when she shampooed his hair, dozing off completely. He remembered hearing Jihyun snort but he didn’t hear anything else until he woke up again, already wrapped in a towel as she tugged at him from outside the bathtub.

“C’mon,” she smiled, offering him a towel. “Unless you want to sleep with the tub instead of your fiancee.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but to smile back, the word sending his heart into hysterics as he took her hand. It seemed that the sheets were also changed while he was asleep, the fitted sheets thrown over the corners haphazardly as they fell into the bed. Jaehyun almost instantly curled into her, causing her to laugh as she kissed the crown of his head.

“You’re so clingy,” she giggled as Jaehyun threw his leg over her waist. “Why are you so obsessed with me?”

“Because you’re perfect,” he muttered, more asleep than awake. He heard Jihyun say something else before he fell asleep but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He assumed it was a declaration of love but before he could tell her back, he fell asleep, not a single dream to be had.

The next morning the couple washed dishes next to each other, chatting about their plans for the day before Jihyun excused herself to get ready for work, drying her hands on the nearest towel before reaching for her ring. Jaehyun watched her with a smile as she slipped it on her finger. She noticed the attention and laughed, pinching his cheek.

“What?”

“I just think it’s pretty,” Jaehyun gushed, taking her hand and kissing her ring finger. “Are you going to wear it to work?”

“I’ll wear it to work, but I’m not allowed to keep it on while I’m in the kitchen.”

Jaehyun frowned, “but you’re the boss. You can make up rules.”

Jihyun laughed, “they aren’t rules, they’re food safety regulations. What if my diamond falls in someone’s food?”

“Then I’ll buy you another one.”

Jihyun rolled her eyes, “how about this? If you’re so keen on showing me off, we’ll go out this weekend? Then you can show me off all you want.”

“Sounds like a date,” Jaehyun beamed, kissing her forehead. “We should also probably tell your dad.”

Jihyun snorted, wrapping her arms around his neck, “did you not give him a warning?”

Jaehyun smiled sheepishly, answering Jihyun’s question without another word.

“You’re a brave man, Jung Jaehyun. I’d hate to become a widow before I’d ever get married.”

“I was going to wait but...it was the heat of the moment.”

Jihyun laughed and rolled her eyes before giving her fiance a kiss, “you’re so corny.”

[brywrites]

Flight Risk VII

Summary: An answer to the age old CM question, “who’s flying the plane?” And the story of a pilot and a profiler. Part V: In which there are some distances that must be maintained and others that are simply begging to be crossed.

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Something is off. She can tell by the way Spencer sits alone, looking so focused on a book that it’s clear he’s not actually paying attention to it. He’s trying to give the impression he’s busy. He doesn’t want to be bothered. There is a tension he carries, and she notices that JJ carries it too. They wait on opposite ends of the hangar. When it’s time to board, she peeks out from the cockpit and notices they’re sitting on opposite ends of the plane. JJ is curled up in a blanket, staring blankly out the window. Spencer stares down at the book he’s clearly not reading.

Y/N wishes she could lighten the burden the same way a plane suddenly seems weightless at the moment of liftoff. This large thing speeding down a runway is propelled into the air and lift and thrust make physics feel like magic. There’s a strong bout of turbulence over the Great Plains, and she and Arthur have to focus on keeping Geff as steady as possible. In a smaller jet like this, an air pocket can feel so much rougher than it would on a commercial liner. One they navigate through it, it’s smooth sailing. The sun is setting behind them as they travel through time zones back to the east coast. The sky around them turns from orange to pink to violet. The stars begin to appear, blinking their salutations.

As they get closer to the airfield, she calls out over the radio. “This is niner-two-two Foxtrot Bravo, checking in, requesting clearance to land at Quantico base.”

“Foxtrot Bravo, enter the holding pattern at Quantico base, while runway is cleared maintain seven thousand feet,” replies a controller.

“Foxtrot Bravo, roger, hold at Quantico. Maintain seven thousand feet,” she echoes back. Together she and Arthur adjust the instruments, setting the proper altitude and speed, and reset the Chronometer. There’s a few planes in the queue ahead of them, and they enter the holding pattern, circling slowly around the sky. So close to home.

She asks, “Do you think something’s wrong?”

“At the base?” Arthur asks. He begins to initiate their first left turn. “Holding patterns are quite standard.”

“No, I mean with the team,” she says. “I don’t know something just seems… off. It’s unusual.”

“Y/L/N. It’s not our job.” They’re not profilers. Their concerns are with the navigation instruments and smooth landings and weather conditions. Not the behavior of people around them. “I need you present when we’re flying. Not worrying about whatever horrors they’ve seen on a case.”

She nods. “Sorry, sir.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I know you care. And I know you’ve found friends with them. But I’ve told you before – they don’t let people in. And it’s best if we try not to get involved.”

The controller cuts in before she can reply. “Foxtrot Bravo, cleared to land, runway Romeo seven.”

“Cleared to land, runway Romeo seven, Foxtrot Bravo,” she says. She can be present. She can be here, in this seat, doing what she loves. And that can be enough, can’t it? She can ignore the text from Penelope Garcia inviting her to join her and the female agents for a drink this weekend. She can stop finding reasons to spend more time with Spencer than she needs to. She can be objective.

Arthur addresses the agents they’re supposed to stay away from. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We’ve just been cleared to land at Quantico base. Please make sure your seat belts are securely fastened and all personal items are stowed away.” His voice reaching to another part of the plane, another world.

On final approach, they guide Geff back down to the ground, a beautifully smooth landing.

“Welcome back to Quantico, Virginia,” Arthur says into the speaker. “Local time is 7:15 PM and the temperature is thirty-nine degrees Fahrenheit. Please wait until we have parked at the gate to move about the cabin. And as always, please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as items may have shifted during the flight.”

She and Arthur sit in the cockpit, the sound of agents shuffling out down the stairs muffled behind them. “You know,” he says, “Malik wants to have a dinner party soon. Maybe next weekend you and Martin could come over. He could bring Theresa and the baby. It might be nice, to spend some time altogether.” Their little misfit crew of pilots.

She’s not sure if it’s his way of apologizing for earlier, or perhaps a way to remind her of her own team and duties, but she says, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

They collect their own go-bags and descend the stairs. When the door has been closed once more and they turn the corner to leave, she’s startled by the familiar figure waiting by the hangar lockers. He’s busying himself with staring at the walls around him, but when he hears them, he lifts his head and looks right at her. As if asking permission.

Y/N glances at Arthur, who just sighs and shakes his head. “Go on then,” he says. “I think it’s too late when it comes to this one.”

With his blessing, she walks over to Spencer. “Hey,” she says. “Is everything okay?” Though if it were, he wouldn’t be standing here.

“Um… not – not really. I’m sorry, I know it’s late. But would you mind giving me a ride home? I’ll order us takeout to make up for it. I uh, ­– I was hoping that maybe we could talk. If that’s okay?” He adjusts the strap of his messenger bag. “I just need someone to talk to right now, and I really want it to be you.”

How can she say no to that? “I’ll grab my car from the lot. Should I meet you outside of the Bureau building?”

“Yeah. That’d be great. There’s something I have to finish first.”

Soon enough she’s parked under the awning of the Academy entrance, waiting for him. She starts the engine up when she spots him coming out of the double doors, pulling his coat a little tighter against the chill of the winter air. His eyes trail curiously over her car before he opens the door to get in. It occurs to her that he’s never seen her car before.

“What?” she asks. “Is this not what you were expecting?”

“I guess after your conversation with Garcia I was expecting your taste to be… more flashy?”

Y/N laughs. Her blue Prius is far from flashy. “Well, as much as I’d love to drive a Plymouth Fury or a vintage Ferrari, I thought I should get something that’s a bit more kind to the environment if I’m burning jet fuel all day, and a Prius is a decent hybrid. Not to mention, it’s got a great safety rating. Do you know how much more dangerous it is to fly than it is to drive?”

“On average, it’s about nineteen times more dangerous. The odds of dying as a result of a car accident in the United States are roughly 1 in 114, but the odds of dying in an aviation accident is closer to 1 in 9,821. You’re far more likely to die from choking on food than in a plane crash.”

“Of course you know that.” She grins at him, letting him know that she’s not making fun of him. She’s impressed by him. She always is. “I don’t know why I bother asking at this point.” The smile he offers in return is only half-hearted. The drive into the District is quiet. Given the tension she felt earlier, she decides not to push him for conversation. Yeeqin is away visiting her sister for the weekend so she offers to take them back to her apartment. He calls to order takeout to be delivered from the Indian place around the corner. They arrive at her place only moments before the food does, fortuitous timing.

It feels strangely intimate to invite him in. She’s been to his apartment twice for their LOST marathon, but this is the first time he’s seeing her space. She wonders what it looks like through his eyes, what a profiler can discern about her life from the books on the coffee table and the pictures on the walls. They sit at the tiny kitchen table she usually shares only with Yeeqin and split the samosas down the middle.

“So what’s going on?” she asks, taking a sip of mango lassi.

Spencer purses his lips and pushes the tikka masala around on his plate before answering. Whatever has happened is still bothering him. “This case was hard,” he says. “There was a cult. They were separating kids from their families and it just became something awful. Seeing someone taking advantage of all these people who put their trust in him, it just… I try to distance myself from things when I’m in the field, you know? I try to be objective and treat it like a puzzle, but it’s not. And sometimes it’s harder to keep that distance.”

“Yeah. I know.” She doesn’t have to push down her emotions to solve a killer, but she does know the difficulties of keeping one’s distance. Of trying not to feel something.

“The case was hard enough, but then I had a… a fight, I guess with a team member. Not like we were arguing more just, like I made them upset I guess. And I didn’t mean to. But I think in trying to be helpful, in trying to be objective, I hurt them. I think that I know things or that I understand people because of this job and then when I don’t… I feel like I’ve failed.”

“I’m sure you haven’t,” she says.

“They were struggling with something. And I thought breaking it down to a science would make it easier. Maybe because that helps me. But it just made things worse and then I didn’t know how else to comfort them.”

“What happened, exactly?” she asks.

Spencer hesitates. “Uh, I can’t – I can’t really say. It’s not mine to share.”

“Oh. Of course.” But it stings slightly. You can’t get close to them. Arthur’s words of warning echo in her head. They don’t let people in. After all this time, she’d begun to think that maybe it was different. Maybe they would trust her – maybe he would trust her. But perhaps the BAU is still an impenetrable world, one she’ll never truly be welcome in. Even now. Even with him. He still won’t let her in.

He looks down. “I hate knowing that the way I am made someone I care about feel worse. I don’t have a lot of friends outside my team. And sometimes I wonder if maybe that’s because I’m not a very good one.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she says, trying to push her own frustrations aside.

“It is. The only people I’m close to who aren’t colleagues are my mom, a former colleague, and… well, I guess my girlfriend. Before she died.”

The words instantly steal her breath. She had no idea. “Spencer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay, it was two years ago, and I don’t usually talk about it. But it’s just so easy with you. I feel like I can tell you anything.”

The sting subsides. The way he looks at her so softly like a salve for the bitterness. He’s trying. He is letting her in. He is sharing things with her he doesn’t usually share. And small bit of knowledge lifts her hopes once more.

“Well I’m glad about that. And thank you, for telling me. Although I guess what I was trying to say was that I don’t think it’s true that you’re not a good friend. I mean, I haven’t even known you a whole year and I think you’re one of the best people I know. You’re thoughtful. You’re smart. You have a tendency to be passive aggressive sometimes,” she teases, and he nods in bashful acknowledgement. “But you’re a good friend. And I’m really, really happy that you’re my friend.”

“Me too,” he says. “I really like having you in my life.”

They stand at the sink together, washing the few dishes they’ve used, and she tries not to think about the way his arm rests against hers, his fingers touching hers when she hands him a plate to dry.

“I want to be a good friend to you,” Spencer tells her. “Which means I should probably ask how you’re doing now that I’ve talked about myself so much.”

“I’m good,” she answers. “I guess I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to belong somewhere. My parents haven’t spoken to me since I took this job.  I think they had higher expectations for me and I don’t think any of us really knows how to start to repair this rift between us. So it’s been strangely lonely. But I have Yeeqin, and our neighbors. I have Arthur, and Martin. And I think I’m finally starting to feel like I have a place with this job. Like I belong here.”

“Of course you do, Y/N. I mean we all think you’re great. Garcia always asks me about you. Ever since you came along, things have been different. Flying feels different. You’ve become part of the team. Not that Captain Dobson wasn’t,” he adds quickly. “But I get the sense he likes to keep a distance from things, while you…” He pauses, looking for the right words. When they don’t seem to come he just smiles. “You’re you. And you fit right it in.”

“Thank you, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry, though. About your family. You have a gift for flying. And for lifting people’s spirits. I don’t understand how who you are wouldn’t make them proud.”

Flying is her gift. Something she has always intrinsically understood. The world makes so much more sense to her from the sky. But it’s nice to know that someone outside of her world of aviators sees it as something worthwhile. It’s not just jet-setting and traveling and steering. It requires communication, a knowledge of physics and the earth and the weather. An ability to think fast and act faster.

Spencer sees her. He understands her. And he knows exactly what to say to make her feel at home.

“See?” she says, gently elbowing him. “You are a good friend.”

She decides that there has been enough trauma bonding for the night, and scoops them both a bowl of ice cream. They sit on her couch and she flips through the channels before settling on one playing one of her favorite old movies, Sabrina. It’s a nice way to unwind, with a the soft distraction of the television and the sweetness of the ice cream. And the simple pleasure of sitting beside each other.

Humphrey Bogart is sitting in the back of a car as his beloved Sabrina’s father, the chauffer, reprimands him. “I like to think of life as a limousine. Though we are all riding together, we must remember our places. There’s a front seat and a back seat and a window in between.”

Y/N is struck by the parallels. A cockpit and a cabin. A door in the middle. Two completely different worlds, inhabited by heroes who save the day and the pilots who ferry them from place to place. It’s easy to imagine Arthur saying those exact words to her, trying to protect her from her own heart.

Then she feels Spencer’s hand against her own. Glancing down as subtly as she can, she finds his pinky and ring finger stretched out over her own. So close it might be an accident. Maybe it is. But maybe for tonight she can let herself pretend it isn’t. Let herself believe that she is allowed to be close to him. Testing the waters, she slowly leans her head against his shoulder. He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t pull away. But he does, seconds later, respond in kind, resting his head against the top of hers. It’s warm, and his cardigan is soft against her cheek. Is this really the same man who didn’t want to shake her hand when they first met? Now they sit together, not quite embracing, but close. It’s so gentle. It feels so tender.

Neither of them says a word. They just sit there, in silence, sharing the same space.

And then the next thing she knows, she is blinking awake in the morning light. Her arm is around his waist. His hand on her shoulder. Her back incredibly stiff from falling asleep sitting up. The television is still softly playing.

She carefully pulls her arm away and sits up. His hand falls away from hers. She isn’t sure what is okay and what is too soon and what this is even supposed to be. What they are supposed to be. Y/N carefully inches to the opposite end of the couch and lies back down, pretending to still be asleep. But she stretches her leg out and allows her ankle to touch his. Holding on to some little connection. Soon, he awakes himself, and she pretends to startled out of slumber by his movements. Spencer looks at her, at their tangled legs, at her bedhead, and laughs. And she does too, giggling at how tired they must have been to fall asleep like that, how silly. How incredibly comfortable next to each other.

They walk downstairs and grab coffee and pastries at the bakery next to her building. She drives him home. He concedes that she’s far better at the helm of any vehicle than he could ever hope to be. She stops outside his building and he grabs his satchel and coffee.

Door open, he pauses, turns to her and says, “Thanks for this, Y/N.”

“Anytime, Doctor.”

He climbs out of the car. “Bye,” he says. “I l-” He blinks. “Um. I – I’ll see you on Monday.”

He closes the door. She waits until he gets into the building to start the ignition again, but lingers there on the curbside a few minutes more. Wondering what he would have said if he’d woken up to find them with their arms around each other like that. Wondering what exactly they are to each other.

[someone-worth-racing-for]

I would love to read a sad fanfic of Carlos and Isa getting married, Lando being strong at the ceremony, but depoius collapsed and being comforted by Max and Dan

I hope you are satisfied with how this story turned out anonym 😊 I really gave my very best for my first story based on a Tumblr request.

I know you probably have wanted to read more hurt and maybe also more about Max and Daniel comforting Lando, but I just had to write it like that. I couldn’t help myself, I’m sorry. I just can't see our boy that sad and heart-broken. I really hope that you will still enjoy reading it 😊

Actually I have already wanted to write something like that since a longer time - you just gave me the last shove I have needed to finally write it down, anonym 😊 so thank you for that!

If you want to read on AO3 - here is the link

Forever and always

Lando still didn’t know how he had ended up here. Here in this beautiful, little church somewhere in Spain on a cliff by to the endless ocean. He was standing next to the altar with his fancy suit on and in front of him the man of his dreams.

Carlos did look amazing. He was smiling over both of his ears, every part of his body was endless happy and overjoyed about the coming and the faint light falling through the windows covered his body in the most gorgeous way and he was shining from every pore of his body.

Everything about this all was so perfect and gave Lando chills, but unfortunately the man he loved with his whole heart was standing on the wrong side. Carlos stood there in front of him, showing his friend his back, while his eyes were fixed on the old wooden door on the other end of the little church, waiting all impatient and full of anticipation for the woman he loved more than his own life.

Like actually every one of the small group of guests inside here, the Spaniard was waiting for his long-term girlfriend to finally make her to his beloved wife and promise her his endless love.

Carlos was waiting for Isa.

And Lando just stood there behind his best friend, waiting for Isa as well, even when at the same time he wished she would never step through that door. But he also knew, that he shouldn’t even think about something like that. It wasn’t fair, after her being always so nice to him and all the things she had also already done for him.

But still, Lando didn’t know how he had ended up here.

The last few months, the last year, actually since he had started his F1 career, things weren’t always easy for him. Especially in the beginning with everything being so new for Lando, him being the youngest rookie and still so inexperienced. Everything stressed, even panicked him, but then there came Carlos, who took him by his hand since the very first day.

He taught him everything he needed to know, he made sure he was alright while being far away from home and his family. Lando could have the biggest fun with him, but Carlos also took him into his arms when he needed it the most.

First Lando had blamed it on his stupid teenager hormones, that he had formed some kind of crush for his older team mate. It was probably Carlos’ being, him being so nice and protective towards him, his funny, sometimes even hilarious side, which never failed to make him laugh, but also his serious side and his passion for the sport.

Carlos was someone Lando looked up to, some kind of personal hero in so many ways. To spend time with him together was great and so easy, he could be himself around him, feeling so accepted. Their first year being team mates was amazing and Lando was still endless grateful to have been able to spend his rookie year next to his side, to had learnt so much from him and the precious friendship they had formed.

But then things got more complicated. When Carlos told him about him thinking about to sign for Ferrari he was first endless overwhelmed with the situation. What should he do without him? Lando was already so fixed on the Spaniard that he couldn’t imagine just one day without him any more.

But Carlos promised him that nothing will change, talking about their friendship here because everything else will change drastically, and so Lando had to let him go. The lock down also didn’t make things easier, because he had a lot of time to think then and if he wanted to admit it or not, he had more than just a stupid teenager crush on his older team mate. Lando had deep feelings for him and he was already sure back then that they won’t go away that easily with Carlos moving the team next year.

When the season had finally started in the summer of 2020, everything suddenly happened so fast and Lando really had to force himself to enjoy every second he was still able to share with his favourite team mate and at the same time it was sadly also the last season with Carlos together. They had their highs and also lows till December and Abu Dhabi was really the climax of everything.

During the off season Lando went through hell and back with all those changes. His new team mate, Carlos moving to Italy, not being able to just get over to his place and hang out the whole afternoon long. Sometimes they didn’t see each other for weeks and Lando’s feelings for his friend still only became even stronger, even when it wasn’t logical at all with not being that close to each other any more.

The start of the new season was strange. Of course the young Brit came along with his new team mate, he already did so before, but even when he was able to call Daniel one of his friends, he still couldn’t stop himself from wishing Carlos back right next to his side.

It was different with the Aussie and the first few races Lando really felt himself under pressure and his awful race results didn’t help him at all. But in these moments Carlos held his promise and was right back by his side to take him into his arms, let him cry out all his worries, motivate him with everything he could and also just be there for him, like he had secured him so many months ago.

At the beginning Lando was also kind of jealous about Charles, since Carlos and he were able to spend so much time together in contrast to him. All patiently the Spaniard had promised him that no one could ever replace him and that he will also always stay his best friend. Lando was his only cabron.

By now the young Brit was almost 22 years old and he was still in love with his ex-team mate and slowly but sure he did really worry about that, because damn, he was Carlos’ best man today.

It wasn’t like the Spaniard had ever given him any hopes that maybe one day something more could be between the two of them, but still he had fallen completely for him. Since Lando got to know Carlos back in autumn 2018, he knew he had a girlfriend and he also knew how happy he was with her, everyone could see that and Lando also really liked Isa, seriously no one could hate her, but still his foolish heart didn’t want to get it.

He also couldn’t help himself, it just happened without his will. Carlos and Isa had always been so nice to him. Lando remembered about all those many afternoons the three of them had spent together, their dinner in Abu Dhabi after the last race of their first season, their shopping marathon through London back in December 2019, all the many times Isa had cooked something for them, while Carlos and he were playing FIFA together, just everything.

All those summer days they had spent together at Carlos’ place in Spain, after the couple had invited Lando to spend the off season with them together. The many times Isa had taken the younger one into her arms, either because he had a bad race and needed someone to comfort him or because she was so happy and proud about him and also told him so.

Isa was a very lovely and wonderful person and in his eyes Carlos and she were the definition of a perfect, harmonize and working couple. The only thing that stood between Lando and being 100% happy for them was that he would like to be in Isa’s place. Especially at the moment.

When Carlos had told him about his plan to ask Isa if she wanted to marry him and he had also showed him the ring he had chosen, Lando forced himself to smile and tell his friend how happy he was for them and that he was more than just sure that she will say yes and that his plan how he wanted to ask her was also pretty romantic.

Actually Lando did really mean it, he was really happy for his friends, but at the same time his heart did cramp and he still cried himself into sleep that night.

And once again he was in a roller coaster of emotions, when Carlos and Isa told them a few weeks later that they will marry this summer in Spain. They had smiled over both their ears and looked so happy and arrived into each other’s eyes, while telling the younger one the big news.

And once again Lando told them sincerely how happy he was for them and hugged both of them long and tight, but at the same time he still wanted to be the one to get such a beautiful ring from Carlos, to shine up at him, knowing that he will be his man forever.

It became too much, when the Spaniard even asked him then, if he wanted to be his best man. Lando broke down into tears, because he felt so proud and honoured, but at the same time his heart was broken. He just couldn’t believe how wrong this all felt.

He got another slap right into his still so-in-love-with-his-best-friend-face, when Carlos told him a few weeks ago that Isa was pregnant, that they expected their first child together. Lando and just a few other were the only ones knowing about it yet and once again he was really happy for his friends, about them becoming parents, become a family and he already knew right then that Carlos will be a great father, but at the same time he was sad once again and also a little afraid about that his friends could maybe forget about him.

Carlos was part of Lando’s family and he really couldn’t imagine a life without him any more. He was his support, his best friend and at the same time also his older brother, who always watched out for him and protected him from everything which wasn’t good for him. But the Spaniard did also still belong his heart and Lando really didn’t know how he should get through all this alone.

But still he stood here now. Watching how the love of his life got married today and even when he actually already knew it since the very first moment that Carlos won’t ever be his, his heart will still not stop to love him, even after the wedding. Forever.

For probably already the hundred time today, Lando breathed deep inside his lungs to calm down his nerves, because he knew Isa could step through the door within every moment. Lightly uncomfortable he began to pluck on his tight tie to loosen it up a little, so he could breathe properly again.

His eyes, had finally stopped to look alternately from his best friend over to the door on the other side of the church, onto Carlos’ eyes were also fixed the whole time long, and back at him again, he was now looking over to where Max and Daniel were sitting in the small crowd in front of him. They both smiled encouraging up at him, knowing how hard this moment was for him.

Max was one of Lando’s best friends and it was hard to hide such a big secret like being head over heels in love with the Spaniard. The Dutch already knew so since a longer time and had helped him through some of his darkest moments in his life and like Lando couldn’t hide such a secret from him, Max also couldn’t hide such a big one from his boyfriend.

So Daniel also knew about it since a few months and even when Lando had first felt uncomfortable about it, he was now happy for their support, especially in these days. They were his emotional support also last night, when he couldn’t sleep because he was so tensed and nervous about the wedding and also scared.

Lando had spent last evening with Carlos together, before he got into bed and stared up at the ceiling for already hours, tears rolling uncontrollable down his cheeks like little rivers. Because he had thought he was shortly before a panic attack, he had finally run over to Max’s and Daniel’s room to find some comfort in their arms.

Like already so many times before they were holding him both close, told him that everything will be good again and that they were sure he could do it all tomorrow. To know they were on his side and could also understand him and his feelings, at least most of the time, had made him finally falling asleep, but it still wasn’t the same as being in Carlos’ arms.

Sometimes Lando really wished to talk with Carlos about it, but that wasn’t possible of course. It felt so wrong to have such a big secret hidden from his best friend, but he was so scared about the Spaniard’s reaction if he should ever find out about it. Carlos probably wouldn’t want to be his friend any more then, he would be so disappointed about that he had lied to him all the time long and maybe he would also be disgusted.

But Lando needed him in his life so badly, even when he won’t ever be able to have him and call him his. Lando’s eyes were badly swollen this morning, when he woke up between Max and Daniel. While he was still lying in bed he tried to remember about the order of events during the ceremony.

About those things he had to do with being Carlos’ best man, about all the things he wanted to say, about his speech later, about just everything, even when he already knew it all from memory anyway after getting through it already so often.

But Lando just wanted this day to be as perfect as possible, for both of them, Carlos and Isa. They deserved it and even more.

And Lando really didn’t want to be the reason, why their wedding wasn’t like they had dreamed about. He didn’t want to be the cause of their wedding being a disaster. He was probably as nervous as Carlos, even when the Spaniard didn’t seem to be nervous at all, like always.

But Lando really was. He was sweating badly under his thick suit, he still didn’t get enough oxygen inside his lungs, his heart was racing and suddenly he began to feel sick and also dizzy. The whole colour in his face faded away and without his will, he began to sway back and forth.

Even when he had felt so hot and he had sweated so badly just one second ago, he was now feeling ice-cold and a shiver ran down the whole length of his back, when he closed his eyes for one moment to get his body back under control. It turned out to be the worst thing he could have done at that moment, because then he lost even his last sense of balance and fell uncontrolled forward.

In panic Lando opened his eyes again, but it was already too late. Even before he hit the ground everything went black and the last thing he could hear was Carlos calling shocked his name.

Lando really had no clue what had happened and why his head did hurt so much, when he carefully tried to open his eyes the next time. “Dan, he wakes up.” He could hear Max nervous and also worried voice next to his side. The young Brit hissed out in pain, when he opened his eyes fully and instantly covered the most painful and so wildly pounding part of his head.

“Damn. Why does my head hurt so much?” Lando complained, while he tried to sit up wherever he was lying onto, which only caused his headache to get even worse. “So my actual question about how you feel is probably unnecessary now, I guess.” Max admitted and watched his friend closely with a tilted head.

“I feel like shit. Damn, what has happened?” The young Brit whined and didn’t miss the look his two friends did share. “You better take that first to ease your headache.” Daniel told him well-meant, when he offered him some glass of water and two painkillers.

Because it did really hurt like hell, Lando did like he got told, swallowed the two pills and drank up the whole glass. Just when he had wanted to ask once again what had happened, because he couldn’t remember any more how he got here, the memories came rushing back into his mind all on their own, when he looked down himself and found himself wearing those fancy shoes, black trousers and this white, well-ironed shirt.

Somehow his jacket and tie were gone, but that was his very last problem at the moment. “Shit. Oh my god. What have I done?” Lando cried out, when he finally realized what had happened and what he had caused. “Great. He at least remembers about it again.” Max told his boyfriend in relief, but Lando was everything else than relieved at the moment.

“It’s not great, you muppet. I have destroyed Carlos’ wedding. I have screwed up, I have messed up everything. Oh god, I have really fainted in front of everyone. That’s so damn embarrassing. How could this happen?”

“Well, you probably haven’t drunk enough over the last hours, your nerves were on a roller coaster and the love of your life will get married today, so I actually think that this part is pretty understandable. And if you ask me it really wasn’t the most embarrassing thing you have ever done. Remember about..” But before Daniel could go on with his not very helpful try to cheer him up, Lando interrupted him with attacking him

“Shut up, that’s not very helpful, Dan! Oh god, what should I do now? I have ruined everything. Carlos is probably all disappointed, when not even annoyed about me now and Isa probably also hates me for destroying their wedding. I’m such a horrible friend.” Lando whined out before he did hide his face inside his hands and began to cry in despair.

Because trying to cheer up his friend’s mood and make him smile again hadn’t worked with how Dan had tried it before, Max now gave it a try, when he moved closer to the young Brit, took him into his arms and whispered to calm down his nerves

“You are really not a horrible friend, Lando. I think you are actually the best one Carlos could have got and I bet he also isn’t mad at you. No one is, also not Isa. Everyone was pretty worried about you. You should have seen Carlos’ expression, when he had seen you lying there on the ground. We all know, especially Carlos that you didn’t do that on purpose and I’m also sure that you haven’t destroyed anything.”

Max’s words were balm for his broken soul, but still Lando didn’t feel good at all, only a little better. “So the ceremony is probably already over by now or?” Lando wanted to know with half of his face still hidden behind his hands and his watery eyes looking up at Max next to him.

“No, it hasn’t even begun yet. Carlos had stopped it, after he has carried you into here and has made sure you are alright.” It kind of felt good to know that they hadn’t gone on without him, but still Lando was to his bones ashamed and also hated himself for being that stupid.

“Don’t be. Everything will be good, you will see.” Max got his thoughts instantly and tried to comfort him, while he rubbed carefully over his back and pulled him into his side. “Max.” Lando whined out, while he supported his head against his friend’s shoulder and closed his eyes while doing so. “It hurts so much.”

“I know, mate. I know.” Lando wasn’t talking about his headache, all three of them were aware about that. Also Daniel looked in compassion down at the youngest, before he petted his shoulder carefully and the couple shared a knowing look.

In silence they kept sitting like that for the next few minutes. Lando still tried to calm down in Max’s arms and he also still tried to realize that this really happened, while Dan got him some more water for his circulation, which Lando took to avoid something like that again with any cost.

They were still sitting in silence inside this small room, when it suddenly knocked at the door and moments later Carlos’ head pocked into the room. “Hey, cabron. What crazy things are you even doing?” The Spaniard asked caring, while he made his way over to them and sat down on the free place next to Lando. He had also taken off his jacket, even when he still looked amazing.

“How does our patient feel?” Carlos wanted to know all lovely still truly concerned about his being, when he pulled his younger friend closer. The young Brit’s cheeks blushed in embarrassment, while he only dared to look up at the Spaniard through his still lightly wet lashes. Max and Dan shared another look, before the young Dutch stood up, took his boyfriend’s hand into his and the couple left the room.

Carlos and Lando were alone now, sitting there in silence, while the older one had laid his arm around his friend’s shoulders and rubbed his hand up and down his arm. At least Carlos really didn’t seem to be angry with him, Lando thought to himself in relief, before he breathed deep inside his lungs once more, before he finally murmured with a small, still to his bones ashamed voice “I’m sorry.”

“About what are you even sorry for, cabron?” It was a question, but still Lando didn’t dare to answer, also because they both know why he was that embarrassed and about what he was sorry for. It was when Carlos placed his index finger under his chin and carefully lifted it, that their eyes met for the first time then.

“Lando, there is really no reason why you should apologize, even when you probably have the need to do so. It’s okay, I know you didn’t do it on purpose, of course you didn’t and hit your head that hard voluntary.” The Spaniard smiled softly down at him, while he moved with his fingertips all carefully over the red already lightly swollen bump on his forehead.

“I’m still sorry for destroying your wedding.” Lando admitted with a small, still filled from self-reproach voice. “Oh, cabron. You really didn’t, you just made it one more time unforgettable. Don’t worry about it any more. I’m just glad you didn’t hurt yourself seriously when you hit the ground and that you are obviously feeling better again. But I really don’t like to see those tears swimming in your eyes.”

Carlos then only eyed him even closer all worriedly, he probably thought those tears were coming from the caused pain of the unrestrained impact on the hard ground, even when that pain was more bearable for Lando than the pain deep inside his heart at the moment. “I bet your head must hurt like hell?”

Lando also didn’t answer his friend’s question this time, he still made himself the biggest reproaches and he had a very guilty conscience. Instead of answering, the young Brit asked a question himself, when he wanted to know from his friend “You shouldn’t have stopped the ceremony because of me. I will only screw it up again. You should have better done it without me, as long as you still had the chance to. And I would also understand it if you don’t want to have me here any more.”

Even when Lando had meant everything serious, he could still hear Carlos giggle softly next to him in disbelief, which only caused his cheeks to burn even more. “Don’t be silly, cabron. Of course, I still want you to be here. You are my best man and the wedding also wouldn’t be the same without you. Stop thinking such things. No wedding without you, little one. I have always thought you know that.”

Lando still seemed insecure and hesitant, why he also still kept quiet. The whole situation was so unpleasant for him and once again he had himself a fool in front of so many people.

“Come here, you muppet.” Like already so many times, Carlos got his discomfort, of course he did, when he pulled him even closer and stroking in a soothing way over his arms to give him some comfort.

Like always the closeness felt amazing and Lando tried to enjoy it even more, when he closed his eyes and let himself fall. But that moment was quickly over again and his whole body began to tense badly, when the Spaniard whispered into his curls “I know the last time hasn’t been easy for you, cabron.”

What exactly did Carlos mean with that, Lando asked himself, because there were many reasons, why he hadn’t felt that good in the last time, so he couldn’t be the best version of himself?  Lando just wasn’t Lando any more since a longer time. The younger one stayed quiet, while he tried to listen to his best friend, even when his fast racing heart inside his chest and the blood pounding in his ears gave him a hard time.

“I know I should have already tried to talk to you about it since a very long time, but.. I seriously don’t know any more why I haven’t told you so sooner, but right now seems to be a good moment for it.” Carlos stopped here to breathe deep inside his lungs for one more time, before he finally went on with a very soft and carefully voice “I’m just trying to tell you, that I.. I know it, Lando.”

Perplex the younger one pulled away from his friend’s chest to look all shocked into his still so warm and familiar eyes. “You.. you know what?” Lando wanted to know, he just had to, to be 100% sure they were talking about the same.

“I know about your feelings towards me. That you like me more than just a friend or a brother. That you have deeper feelings for me. I know it, little one.” Carlos said calmly, like it was the most normal thing ever, while he reached out to stroke through his curls.

“I.. Why.. How..” Even when Lando tried so badly to form a decent sentence, he still couldn’t bring it over his lips. In the end he only gaped like a fish at the Spaniard, with his eyes painfully widened in fear. He just couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Denying it probably didn’t make any sense any more, his friend just knew him way too well, he always knew when he was lying anyway. 

But why did Carlos know about his feelings? How got he to know about this secret? Why the hell wasn’t he mad at him? And why was Lando even still allowed to be here then, at his wedding when Carlos knew about his feelings? Everything became just too much for him at that moment, when he broke down into a mess of tears right in front of his friend.

“Oh, Lando. Please, don’t cry. I didn’t want to make you cry. It’s okay.” The older one whispered in compassion, while he pulled him once again tight into his arms and stroked over his shaking back.

Carlos just held him then, let him cry out all his tears he had held back for too long and even when the whole situation was actually so uncomfortable for Lando, he still felt safe in his friend’s arms, like always, and it also kind of felt good, when not even very liberating that the Spaniard finally knew about it and he didn’t have such a big secret hidden from him any more.

But still, there were so many questions running through his head and when that one thought hit him, he just had to ask so out loud, when he said with a still lightly shaking and weak voice “Was it Max and Dan? Have these bastards told you about it?” Hell, if he will get them, he will kill them both with his own hands for breaking their promise to not ever tell anyone about his big secret. Especially telling it Carlos.

The older one seemed first a little surprised about that information, but in the next second he already wasn’t any more, when he thought about it. Lando had told them about his feelings. He had at least talked with someone about it, that was good. “No, they haven’t told me. Actually no one has, little one. I have found it out by myself.”

Lando’s head turned into a deep red once again for being so obvious and he asked himself who else had probably noticed so and just hadn’t told him about it until now. “Since when do you know?” The young Brit finally dared to ask, when he felt strong enough, but still he didn’t dare to look up at his friend.

“Always.” Was Carlos’ short but sincerely answer, which caused Lando to panic once again and this time he just had to look up at him to make sure he wasn’t making fun of him. But Carlos wasn’t, he was still smiling softly down at him, his eyes full of compassion and it just caused him to panic even more.

“What do you mean with always?” Lando’s voice was suddenly so high, while he thought about if he should better ran away from here as fast as possible or disappear into the next mouse hole. “It means, that I know it since the beginning actually. Lando, spending so much time with you together and not noticing those strong feelings you have, I must have been blind to not see it.”

The whole colour faded away from his face, while he thought back about all those shared moments they ever had, but now with the knowledge that Carlos knew the truth since the very beginning. Even more questions than he already had before were haunting through his head now, but in the end only one made it over his lips, when he asked in disbelief

“If it’s true, why I’m still here?”

Carlos then reached out to take his shaking hand into his and stroked with his thumb over the back of his hand to calm down his nerves, when he tried to explain “Because you are still my brother, Lando. My best friend and you also mean a lot to me. I also love you, just in a different kind of way, but I still do.”

With an in surprise wide opened mouth, the young Brit stared back at him, still not believing what he had just got to know. But then all those questions came over his lips all at once, when he began to speak like a waterfall “But why have you always spent so much time with me together then? Why have you made me to your best man? Why have always been so nice to me? Why aren’t you angry at me, disappointed or maybe even disgusted? What will Isa say when she will find out?

And why do you still want me to be at your wedding, when you exactly know that I.. that I love you?”

There was a little pause, before Lando went on to ask the final question “Why did you even let me in your life?”

Carlos eyed the younger one for some moments, before his expression got even softer and he told him with a tender voice “Lando. Please, stop worrying. Really. I have already told you the reasons. You are one of the most important people in my life, I just can’t imagine only one day without you any more. And I also know that you haven’t chosen the way you feel, the way it is right now. I know that it just happened and you never had bad intentions. You are helpless towards your feelings, I can understand that. But it’s okay. Nothing you should worry about or even be ashamed about. We are not disappointed and especially not disgusted.”

Lando overheard all those nice, compassionate words Carlos had for him, instead he only asked, when a new wave of shock hit him “Who are we?” The Spaniard blinked at his friend three times, before he understood and tried to calm down his nerves, when he explained “Isa and me.”

“Isa also knows it?” Lando seriously asked himself how many almost panic and heart attacks he already had today and how many he was still able to take before getting real ones and maybe collapse once again. “I have talked with her about it in the summer break of our first year being team mates. She has also already noticed it and she is also okay with it. So please, don’t worry about it.”

“Who else knows it?” The sickness hit Lando once again and goose bumps broke free over his skin, thinking about that probably everyone outside this door knew about him being in love with the groom and making himself look like the dumbest idiot ever.

But then Carlos quickly rescued him from his fear, when he answered sincerely “No one else, little one. Just Isa and me. We both find it actually pretty cute and we also know that you would never try to bring us apart. Lando, seriously, everything is alright. I’m still the same Carlos and you are still the same Lando. Nothing will change between the two of us. You are still my little, cute brother and you will be forever.”

Still insecure the younger one played with the sleeve of his shirt, thinking about that Carlos was maybe right once again. “Actually I should be the one to be sorry, cabron. I should have talked with you about it way sooner, tell you that I know it, but I just didn’t want to make it even worse for you. I know the situation wasn’t always easy for you with seeing Isa and me together, while you have those feelings for me, but especially because you have all these feelings for me, you still managed to be the best possible friend on this whole world for me.”

When Carlos took his still lightly shaking and cold hand into his then, Lando just had to look up at him, also because his words did touch him. “Seriously, Lando. You are the best friend I could have ever get and I really admire you and how strong you are. I know you haven’t chosen to fall for your team mate, I know it just happened, destiny didn’t even ask you about if you wanted it or not, but you still stayed next to my side. Our friendship was more important to you than anything else and I really wish we would have talked about it sooner. But I just thought it would be easier for you if you don’t know about me knowing it. I thought it would become easier for you with time. But heads up, cabron.” Carlos lifted his chin carefully, before he smiled fondly down at him. “One day the right one will also come for you, you will see.”

Tears were silently falling over Lando’s cheeks, while he listened carefully to his friend’s words, still not believing that Carlos was neither angry nor disappointed in him. He even seemed to understand him and he also wanted their friendship to stay like it was.

“You really don’t have to apologize, there is nothing you should be sorry for. I should have talked with you sooner about my feelings for you, but I was so afraid to lose you, Carlos. I don’t know how my life would have turned out without you, I don’t know what I would have done with you being not at my side any more. But you are right, I have never tried to bring you and Isa apart, because I already know since the beginning that one day you will marry her and become a family, but still my heart didn’t get that. It didn’t stop it to form those feelings for you and it still doesn’t get it. But you don’t have to worry about it, I would never try anything. And I also believe your words about that one day I will fall for someone I’m also able to get.”

For the first time since they were here, Lando tried to response his best friend’s smile, while the relief washed over him. It was finally over.

“I’m really sorry I’m not the one, cabron, but you will see, everything will be good. It actually already is. You won’t ever lose me, I will always be there for you and this wedding won’t change anything about it. You will always be my baby brother and because of this and so many other reasons I and also Isa would be very happy, if you would become the godfather of our child.”

It was the first heart attack because of happiness that day. Lando’s eyes widened and he finally began to shine again, when he squeaked. “Really? You and Isa really want me to be the godfather of your child, even after everything?”

“Especially because after everything, little one.” Carlos confirmed, before Lando already crashed into his arm and cried tears of joy. “I would really like to. You don’t know how much this means to me, Carlos.” The young Brit whispered with his cheek pressed against the Spaniard’s chest.

“And you don’t know how much this actually means to me, little one. I’m so happy you are here with us.” The Spaniard whispered into his curls, while tears were also waving in his eyes. All gently he placed a kiss against his forehead and pulled him one more time closer against his chest, so they could both enjoy this unforgettable moment between them.

They stayed like that a half eternity and when Lando finally believed his friend fully about that he wasn’t mad at him and that everything will stay like it was, Carlos whispered down to him “Do you think you are ready for another try?” Quickly and especially determined the younger one nodded his head, before he loosened their embrace to look up at him and tell him with his usual cheeky smile “Come on, we still need to get you married, before Isa will change her mind because you are all late again.”

After Carlos had helped him to do his tie, making sure to not do the button too tight this time and they had smiled and nodded their heads at each other all ready, the two best friends finally went outside back to the wedding guests. Lando secured them all that he was alright again and explained that the cause was probably because he had drank to less over the whole day. Max and Daniel he offered a smile, which both seemed to satisfy them, at least for now.

Back in the little church, Lando stood on his place again and together they all waited pretty impatient by now for the bride to finally arrive. One last time Carlos turned around to look at his best friend and smile at him, still grateful for him being here on this so important day in his life.

Of course, Lando returned the smile but when he saw from the corner of his eyes how the doors finally got opened, he showed his best friend with a small move of his head to finally take a look at his bride. Carlos eyes instantly filled with tears by the so beautiful appearance of the love of his life and also Lando’s eyes began to water, but this time only because he was so happy for them and he was sure about that one day he will also find something like the two of them had.

Lando did his duty as best man great, without any more problems or incidents and by his speech later everyone had glassy eyes, especially the bridal couple, but the tight hug he got from Carlos and also from Isa afterwards was worth it all.

Later he finally told Max and Daniel about what had happened and when he danced together with the bride he also talked with her about it and he also thanked Isa for her understanding. Like Carlos had already secured him, also the woman herself told him that they will always stay friends and nothing could bring him and Carlos apart any more. They were all one family.

And to finally be able to talk about it, to talk about his feelings especially with Carlos helped Lando to finally close this chapter of his life. It didn’t sound logical and it didn’t make any sense either, but it really helped him to let go, to let those feelings behind and start something new.

And once again Carlos had been right, when not even six months later someone stepped into Lando’s life and changed everything. Of course, Carlos was right. He always was.

-------------------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️

My inbox is opened for your request, but I really can’t promise that I will be able to write a story for every request I will get. But I will try my best! 

[weraceasone]

Ok so my question about Red Bull is: wtf is going on there?? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just winging it? Max is the main focus and eventhough people think he’s very privileged something tells me that Red Bull is just like his father..? Which is not a good thing.

And then we got the second driver thing. The opinions about this are very much all over the place some people think the second drivers suck and some think the team should focus more on the second drivers so they can improve themselves.

And we also got people who think Red Bull is overall very toxic. I mean from what I have seen... I don’t want to call them toxic perse but I do think there’s something weird going on there and I wish someone would speak up about it. For an example last year with Alex was such a rollercoaster for my feelings so I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for him. Yea he wasn’t having a season but there were also many times I questioned the way Red Bull handeld Max his race in comparison to Alex. Not pitting Alex soon enough or switching Max old car parts with Alex... I don’t know. I might be looking too much into but these are some of the things that stood out to me.

And let’s not even begin with Pierre. I just know that if Red Bull gave him some time he would be doing good enough to stay for another year. They were so mean towards him but being “sweet” to Alex. At least that’s how they were coming off in interviews. Acting like they’re giving Alex everything he needed and giving him a lot of “chances”. I think this is one of the main reasons the media was being harsh towards Alex. Becaus in their eyes Red Bull is helping him while he’s dissappointing the team.

Anyway I don’t know these are my thoughts on Red Bull and I hope you can give your insight on this! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx ✨✨

Ps: did not check for spelling errors and I’m not wearing my glasses so please cut me some slack 😂

hey Anon! I love this ask, so I will answer the questions in detail using paragraphs. I just discussed the culture of Red Bull and what I think of that in a previous ask, so if anyone wants to read that, go here. about Max and his relationship to his dad/Red Bull: from what we’ve heard and seen from Jos, he raised Max in a really hard way. it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if that is why Max finds the treatment of drivers at Red Bull justifiable. I think for Max, nothing will ever compare to how his dad treated him anyway, so he isn’t phased by it. I’m not saying that that makes what Max has gone through and what the RB drivers have had to deal with okay, but I can sort of understand why Max would think like that. this is a very heavy topic to speak about and as I don’t know the ins and outs of the situation, I think this is all I will say about it. something that I do want to touch on a little bit is the word ‘toxic’ and the discussion around it. I’ve seen many people, not just on here but also on Twitter, mention how the word is overused. it’s funny because I actually learned about this psychological phenomenon in class the other day; basically, what happens when you see a word repeated a lot, it will subconsciously start to lose its meaning for you, so you will automatically perceive what the other person is saying as meaningless. I think this is something that has been going on in the F1 community, a lot of people have called Red Bull toxic (whether that is justified or not, everyone should decide for themselves) and it has caused a continuous stream of other people saying they’re tired of hearing it. I personally believe that regardless of what our opinions are on RB, whether we actually believe they should be called toxic or not, I think we should still have an open discussion on what the team is doing and how that affects their drivers. I personally don’t really encourage shutting something down that may help us emancipate the sport.

let’s move on to something else: did Red Bull disadvantage Alex in the races last year? well, the simple answer to me would be: yes. is it that black and white though? no, absolutely not. what we saw happening last year, was that Alex would pit at weird times and even drove with different (worse) equipment than Max did at times. I think it’s a shame that this happened, because it gave a distorted picture of reality, which led us to believe Alex was doing way worse than he actually was. however, I also think something that more people should be aware of, is the fact that putting another driver at a disadvantage in a race isn’t necessarily justified, but it isn’t unjustified either. when one of the drivers is clearly doing better and is expected to get on the podium, maybe even win and is way ahead in the championship, it is a logical decision to sacrifice the other driver’s race a little bit in order to help the driver that’s driving at the front. sure, it isn’t fair, but it is understandable why they would do this, purely from a winner's mentality point of view. apart from that, I think we also have to ask ourselves if we would have the same attitude towards this happening, if it was George being the first driver and Valtteri being the second, for example.

did the media treat Alex in a bad way because they believed RB was helping him, when RB didn’t do that with Pierre? I don’t know. personally, I think that we, as a community, sometimes have a bit of a naïve attitude when it comes to the media. as a communications student who studies the media a lot: what happens a lot in the media is that they kind of create personas. e.g. last year: we had Max, who is the young progidy who will get aggressive when he doesn’t get what he wants and we had Seb, who got let down by Ferrari and there was Lando, who is so funny we might as well forget he’s an F1 driver. when you pay close attention to headlines, to how the media writes about certain drivers, it’s all along the same lines. most articles are written and most questions are asked in a certain way, because it fits a narrative. it sells, because it’s easy to understand. from the audience’ point of view; it’s easy to put into a box, when those boxes are already outlined for you. it’s a very natural thing for humans to subconsciously do and the media are just profiting off of that. this is why I don’t pay that much attention to the F1 media anymore, because they aren’t really being that truthful.

to close this off: the truth lies, like always, in the nuanced grey area. I cannot speak for Max or Alex or anyone who works at Red Bull, so I won’t try to do that. I hope this explains my thoughts well, Anon. I hope you’re having a good day! 🧡

[juvinadelgreko]

Dig a little deeper

Thanks for tagging me @satans-helper!

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen? Black all the way.

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? Country. My favorite place to be is in the middle of nowhere. I’ll never forget the weekend I spent helping one of my friends with her horses. Her barn is very remote, and when we came back from dinner in town and I looked up at the sky, the view that I had of the stars knocked the breath out of me.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

I would absolutely love to learn how to play guitar. I’ve tried so many times and I just can’t pick it up.

Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Nope.

What was your favorite book as a child? I will forever and always have a deep love and appreciation for everything the Percy Jackson books did for me.

Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. Bath water doesn’t stay warm long enough and sitting in lukewarm water just doesn’t appeal to me. In the shower, I can just keep turning it up until I melt.

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? I wouldn’t mind being a water nymph. It’d be very peaceful, I think.

Paper or electronic books? Paper!!!

What is your favorite item of clothing? I recently cut up a t-shirt of mine that was too big to wear; I turned it into a crop top and now it’s my favorite. I also have a white linen button down with thin gray stripes on it that I’m in love with.

Do you like your name? Yes.

Who is a mentor to you? There’s a very famous American show jumper by the name of Elizabeth “Beezie” Madden. She’s an incredible rider with a tremendous amount of accolades, but she also treats her horses and employees with great care and respect. Unfortunately, there aren’t many other top show jumpers I can say the same about.

Would you like to be famous? Not really. The only reason I’d want to have a platform of any kind is so I could use it to help others and make change in the world.

Are you a restless sleeper? Not really, but I do sometimes have trouble sleeping through the night.

Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? A little bit.

Which element best represents you? Air.

Who do you want to be closer to? My coworkers. When you work for a competition barn, you spend most of your time traveling around the country with clients’ horses and showing them. Considering that we spend so much time on the road together, you’d think that we’d all be closer, but it just hasn’t clicked yet.

Do you miss someone at the moment? Yeah. But it’s hard to explain.

Tell us about an early childhood memory. I have a very vivid memory of when my mom asked me if I wanted to try riding lessons. It was the beginning of something that would become the most important part of my life.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? It wasn’t strange really, but just kind of funny. When I was in China a few summers ago I ate cantaloupe off a stick from a street vendor. I feel like that’s not normally something you’d buy and eat from a street vendor, but it was absolutely delicious.

What are you most thankful for? My own inner strength.

Have you ever met anyone famous? No.

Do you keep a diary or journal? Yes, but I only write in it when I feel like it. I don’t do it daily or anything.

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pen.

What’s your star sign? Libra sun.

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy. I don’t ever put very much milk on it. I just like a little bit.

What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be remembered as someone that was always trustworthy, hardworking, and kind.

Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I do, but it’s gotten harder for me as my life has gotten busier. I just read The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

How do you show someone you love them? I stand by them. Whatever they need, I’m there.

Do you like ice in your drinks? Yes!

What are you afraid of? Anything bad happening to my animals or loved ones. I would rather die than see any of them in pain.

What is your favorite scent? The smell of summer horse shows. Horses, hay, sweat, grass, hoof polish, leather, saddle soap. It’s lovely. I also really love the smell of record stores.

Do you address older people by their name or surname? It depends on who the person is and what my relationship is with them.

If money was not a factor, how would your life? Not in Ohio!

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I like them both, but if the ocean waves are big, it scares me. I almost drowned in them when I was a kid.

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? Unless I know who it belongs to, I’m keeping it.

Have you ever seen a shooting star? No, I really want to.

What is one thing you’d want to teach your children? To be kind to everyone, but also to stick up for themselves and those that are less fortunate.

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what and where would it be? 93 is a very important number to me. So probably that, and somewhere easy to conceal...inside of my wrist.

What can you hear now? Birds chirping as the sun goes down. It’s lovely.

Where do you feel the safest? In the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere.

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

I was in a bad riding accident years ago and the PTSD from it compromises my ability to ride today. I’m fine 90% of the time, but it comes back to me in the worst moments and it’s exhausting trying to do my job while dealing with it. If I could completely erase the memory of it from my mind, I would.

If you could travel back to any era in time, what would it be? The 70s!

What is your most used emoji? ❤️

Describe yourself using one word. Strong.

What do you regret most? “There’s nothing that I’d take back, but it’s hard to say there’s nothing I regret.”

Last movie you saw? I’m so bad at watching movies 🙄. I rewatched Ford vs. Ferrari a little while ago. It’s a good one.

Last TV show you watched? ATLA!!!

Invent a word and it’s meaning. I can’t think of what it would be, but I wish I had a word specifically for the frustration I feel when I’m trying to share genuine emotion with someone and they’re just too shallow to grasp what I’m trying to communicate.

Tagging: @imacrowcawcaw @mrd-k3 @dufflesmckagan @flowrxchild @sunshineinhereyes