#and she just sits down every day staring at the void thinking why it's good people being taken away

[ak4rin]

sad 2.30 am thought but do you think akari went back to the infirmary once nobara was brought there and just ... cried and prayed whatever god to fix this mess because it's not fair ... do you think she goes back and forth and reads to nobara because she just refuses to let another kid go like that

[yagirlwrites]

Show Me (Please) | (Sub!Rafe)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Domme!Reader

Warnings: sad rafe, angst and fluff

A/N: Hi y'all it's been a while! Wrote this a few days ago, did some editing but not too much cause I'm too tired for that lmao anyway I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think ❤️

Series Masterlist

This is set right before The Sounds of a Good Boy

My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated. Reblogs, comments, feedback are always welcome and appreciated❤️

Happy reading 🥰

Show Me (Please)

She was picking up a coffee order at the counter when she noticed him. Sitting in one of the cafe's window booths, staring at his empty glass, looking positively tragic. She had no idea why the sight caused a sharp pain to shoot through her heart. It was unusual. That was the reason. She'd never seen him look glum before - always smiling or smirking at her, or even annoyed but never this. Never sad. So sad. She attributed the remaining dull ache in her chest to the fact that this was highly unusual and she was too damn empathetic. That was it. That's what she told herself.

Once she grabbed her cup she had half a mind to just walk away and pretend she hadn't seen him. He looked like he wanted to be alone and she was not his friend, so really, what would be the point in getting involved? She took a couple of steps toward the door when his eyes met hers.

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt like she was intruding on something just by being there. He looked depressed. It was the only way she could describe it. The bags under his eyes, the abscence of his usual michievous smile, the sadness in his eyes which she could have sworn looked kind of glassy in the brief moment their gazes met. She wasn't sure what she expected him to do when he noticed her but it definitely wasn't this. She noticed his eyes roll briefly before he looked back down at his glass pretending she wasn't there. Rude.

Frankly she shouldn't have cared if he was being cold, she had been waiting for him to stop bothering her for a long time. But this felt wrong. She felt that ache in her chest again and she realized there was no way it would let her leave him like this. She sighed and kept walking.

She knew he sensed her there but he didn't look up. Didn't say anything, didn't acknowledge her at all. And this should have been her sign to walk out the door and get on with her day but that damn ache wouldn't let up. She slid into the seat opposite him, putting her coffee cup on the table and crossing her hands. And then she waited.

He could feel her piercing gaze on him. Could feel it burning through his skin. He felt naked under her eyes again and he didn't like it one bit. It didn't help that he was feeling so shitty anyway, the last thing he needed was her adding onto it. He didn't understand why she was there.

Minutes passed with them sitting in silence, his eyes on his hands and hers on him. Waiting. For what she wasn't sure. With every second that ticked by the silence grew louder, thicker, more suffocating. They both could feel it stinging the air they breathed.

He broke first. Because of course he did. When his eyes finally lifted to look at her they were void of their usual spark and this caused a frown to appear on her own face.

"What are you doing?" He finally spoke. His voice tight and low, as if he hadn't spoken in days. As if releasing the words physically pained him. She was left confused at what to do to fix it. Why she wanted to fix it? She had no idea. She just knew this wasn't right. So she spoke.

"Sitting here." She picked up her coffee, finally taking a sip. It had gotten cooler while they waited. Whatever, she thought. It didn't really matter.

Even though she loved her coffee strong and hot, to wake her up, help get her back on track when her energy tumbled during the afternoon. Even though it was the only reason she left her apartment, to get the coffee and bring some life back to her body so she could continue on the paper that's been kicking her ass for the past three days. At this moment it didn't matter in the slightest. And in a true Y/N fashion, she chose not to dwell on the why.

He was staring at her now, bows furrowed - trying to figure out what the hell was going through her mind, why she had sat with him when she had been rejecting every interaction he had been trying to start with her for months. She was a pro at getting under his skin with her ability to be completely unaffected by him and his charm, his bullshit. It made no damn sense why she would be here right now and it made his discomfort grow.

"Why are you here?" She gave him a pointed look, putting her cold coffee down and crossing her hands on the table, like she had all the time in the world and he was once again feeling like a little boy about to be scolded.

"Wanted a coffee. It helps me think." Her voice was casual and he hated it. The way she could always be so blasé and cool. Like she was so much better than him.

"Don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you." His voice was strained but sharp, meant to cut. She lifted an eyebrow at his nerve. He never spoke to her like this before. She didn't like it. It wasn't right.

"I see your manners left you cold, Rafe." He felt like a child being chastised by a parent.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" He ignored her comment, voice on edge. He was uncomfortable with this interaction. He wasn't feeling like himself and having her here now, was messing with his already fragile mind. He needed air and needed his head cleared, not more confusion added to it.

"I'm sitting, having a coffee. It's cold now though. I don't like it." She was trying to keep cool and not snap at his attitude. His face was unamused and if that damn pain in her chest wasn't so loud in wanting her to do something for him, she would have already left. But she didn't. She didn't know how to explain it to him when she didn't understand it herself.

"What are you doing here, Rafe?" The way she said his name felt like an arrow shot right right through his fragile heart.

It was the first time he heard his name pass her lips and he wished so hard it didn't cause such an insane reaction inside him. His every reaction to her felt unhinged, he didn't understand it. It didn't help that she kept rejecting every attempt he made at getting to know her. She was frustrating and confusing and infuriating and it drove him wild. And while any other time he would have been jumping from joy to have her approach him and sit with him for coffee, as embarrassing as that was, right now he simply wasn't in the mood. For any of it.

"I don't have energy for this." His voice was practically a whisper and the way he so easily gave up on the banter he would have usually jumped on was starting to worry her. It wasn't right. And she didn't know why she cared.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Her voice was the softest and gentlest he'd ever heard it. And part of him wanted him to say yes, to bare his soul to her right there. But a bigger part of him, the meaner one, wanted to cut. It was his way of dealing with the pain. Don't show it - hence him being all alone in the café in the late afternoon, licking his wounds like a kicked puppy. And if he can't hide it, he will make it hurt - deflect, push whoever might be unfortunate enough to cross his path when he's like this far far away, so they may never return, never see him vulnerable again.

His scoff was much louder than his voice had been. Her eyebrows lifted at his reaction to her question.

"Something funny?" Her voice now a lot less gentle. It was go time. A cold smirk made its way onto his face.

"So all I had to do was stop fawning over you and you come to me?" Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance at his audacity and that smug look on his face.

"The second the guy is no longer running after you, suddenly you wanna be around him? I expected better from you, Y/N. That's pretty cliché." He tutted in faux disappointment and her anger rose within her.

How dare he speak to her like that? She was being nice sitting with him when he looked so sad. But now he was being mean and she didn't deserve it.

He waited for her to snap back. Tell him to go fuck himself, as she had in the past. To storm off in anger, or slap him even. He could see it on her face, she wanted to. He grinned.

And then she saw it. The little glint in his eye. He was trying to provoke her. Push her buttons. Get her anger and force a reaction. She knew how he worked. It was like that the first night they met. He tried to get her to slip up and let him get under her skin. He was itching for it then and he's itching for it now. And like that night she calmed herself down because she knew better than to give him what he wants.

Unlike that night though, he wasn't trying to piss her off for attention, he was doing it to push her away. Because unlike that night she knew him better now- whether she liked it or not. He had been in her life for a while and she picked up on things about him despite insisting she didn't care to.

He was hurting. A lot. He had looked so sad and in pain when she noticed him. And now he was embarrassed, provoking her so she'd leave and he wouldn't have to face it. And she shouldn't care. Shouldn't bother continuing a conversation when he was actively being a dick and trying to end it. But for some reason, unlike that night, she doesn't want to walk away. This isn't him. He isn't mean. He never has been.

He's confused when nothing happens and her face remains calm and collected. His smirk falls. Her eyes hold his for a long moment and he feels that same chill down his spine. What is she doing to him?

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. We can just sit. Or if you want to be alone I can go. Just say it. You don't need to be a dick." Her eyes remained on him, making him flustered. Her words piercing his heart like thunderbolts. Why was she still there? Why was she still trying? He didn't understand it. It made no damn sense.

"Why do you care?" His voice broke and she could see the tears he had been holding back glistening in his eyes. Her heart broke for him.

"I don't know." Truth. "I just do." She shrugged and gave him a small smile. A small smile that made his insides feel like they were twisting up into a knot. She was so beautiful and she didn't make any fucking sense to him. Ever. Always leaving him confused and desparate for more.

"Do you want me to go?" He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He realized he didn't. He usually never wanted anyone to see him like this - this fragile. It made no sense but he really didn't want her to leave him in that moment. She mistook his silence as an affirmative and she went to grab her bag but he finally spoke.

"Stay." He was looking at her with big pleading eyes and she could feel her heart clench. So she let go of her bag and made herself as comfortable as she could on the booth bench.

"Okay." She simply said and they lapsed back into a silence. Only this time it wasn't suffocating. It was... comforting.

A strange feeling enveloped Rafe. Like he could breathe again, even though just seconds ago he felt like dying. Like she was the calm wrapping around his stormy mind, soothing the ache with her mere presence. Her refusal to let his snippy attitude push her away, her ability to see right through him and know he needs someone to just be there for him. Just be. He felt like he was in a dream.

And so they sat there in the silence, for what could have been hours. The more time passed the calmer he became, the quieter his mind went. The longer she was there with him, so patient even though he didn't deserve it, the less he felt like shit. He was coming back to himself, slowly but surely. He didn't understand how this woman's presence always managed to make him feel both safe and like he's going to lose his mind at the same time. Because the more conscious he got the more his mind started running wild again. This time because of her.

What did she want with him? She had been so cold and indifferent to all his advances, every attempt at kindling some kind of relationship between them he instigated, she shut down. Why was she now here then? What did it mean?

"Why did you sit here?" His voice finally broke the extended silence they had been in. She could see he was more himself now and was glad. However, she wasn't glad she now had to answer his questions. Because she didn't know how.

"You looked sad." It was a simple answer and she hoped he might accept it but of course he didn't.

"So?" She shrugged.

"I don't know. It didn't feel right." He cracked a small smile at that.

"Didn't feel right?" She rolled her eyes at his playful tone.

"I don't have the answer you're looking for." She looked at him with honesty and he gulped and nodded, processing her words.

"You really are something else." He scoffed in semi amusement. She arched her brow expecting an explanation.

"For months I've been trying to talk to you. Get to know you. And you always turn me away." He shook his heard, a glimmer of pain in his eyes that tugged at her heartstrings.

"Why?" She sighed. It was a fair question. But she didn't want to think too hard and he was forcing her hand.

"You hate me then you come and sit with me cause I'm sad?" His voice was apprehensive. She swallowed from the tension building around them.

"I don't hate you." Her brows furrowed. Why would he think that?

"Okay, not hate but... you definitely don't like me. You've made it obvious." His voice was teasing, but hiding a note of hurt all the same. She looked sheepish and he didn't expect that.

"It's not that I don't like you." He cocked a brow at that.

"Oh really? So you do like me? That's why you shut me down every time I try and talk to you?" He was challenging her now. Poking for the truth behind her behaviour. He had been blatantly obvious about being interested in her but she had never reciprocated.

"Rafe... I don't know what you want from me." He scoffed at that.

"You're unbelievable, you know?" She sighed and tried to speak but he continued.

"I spent months trying to get you to see that I wasn't just some asshole frat guy you saw me as that first night. I didn't even ask you out I just wanted to talk to you. And you didn't want it." She felt uncomfortable now, like she was being called out.

"And I was finally accepting that you clearly don't want me. As a friend or anything else." The hurt in his voice was evident.

"But then here you are. Acting like you give a shit for the first time. And you ask me what I want from you?" His voice took on a note of disbelief. "What do you want from me? That's the real question?" He was getting agitated again and she was feeling kind of flustered at his words.

"It's cruel. Messing with me like this. Acting like you care that I'm sad when you're just gonna go back to pretending I don't exist after this." His eyes were teary again and she felt herself wanting to cry. Why was he making sense? Why was he calling her out like this? Unhinging her?

"I do care." Her voice was soft and he could tell she was being sincere.

"Why?" He wasn't backing down, holding her gaze hostage in his baby blues. She couldn't answer.

"Why don't you want me?" The words fell from his lips before he had time to stop them.

Why didn't she want him in her life as badly as he wanted her in his? Why didn't she want to be his friend? He would be happy to be just friends, even though he obviously wanted more. He'd be content to just have her any way she wanted. He just wanted her. In whatever way she'd let him have her. But he didn't dare say that, already having embarrassed himself enough for the day.

The blush on his face was so stong, a passerby might think him drunk or feverish. She could tell he let slip more than he intended with that last question. And she didnt have it in her to lie anymore. To either of them.

"It's not that I don't want you." His eyes snapped to hers from twiddling with his fingers on the table. Confused. Dare he say, hopeful? Apprehensive. The implication of her words driving him mad.

"What?" She sighed. How coud she explain this to him when it was so hard to explain it to herself?

"It's not that I don't want you. I just don't think we're compatible is all." She drifted off, feeling like she had said both too much and not enough at the same time.

"What does that even mean?" She looked at him for a beat, silently begging him to drop it. But he couldn't.

"What? You do want me?" She closed her eyes trying to keep herself in check.

"You... Do you feel it too?" His hand tentatively reached for hers sitting on the table. The touch made her skin feel like it was on fire and her eyes met his wild ones. There was so much swirling in him now. Hope, anger, hurt, relief, joy, pain, confusion. He was so terrified of her next words but also so damn anxious to hear them.

She should have pulled away. Walked away even. She didn't understand why she didn't. This was a terrible, stupid idea - to tell him the truth. It could never work between them. It just couldn't. But the tiny tremor of his hand holding hers unhinged her and she couldn't stop the words from spilling out.

"Yeah... Yeah I feel it." His breath caught in his throat. Waiting for her to say sike. To take it back. Say she was joking. But she doesn't.

"What the fuck?" His relief was battling with his anger. If she felt the same then why the fuck had she been making him feel a fool for so long? Why did she reject him and make him feel like an idiot for even thinking she'd ever want anything to do with him?

"What's wrong with you?" He pulled his hand off her then and she was starting to feel the anger inside herself too.

"Watch your mouth." She snapped and he couldn't help but snort in disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You've let me feel like I was alone in this, like I wasn't good enough for you to ever feel the same way about me. And now you say you do?" He was breathing hard, his grasp on sanity slipping by the second.

"Don't be stupid." She couldn't belive he would say that. Had she really made him think he wasn't good enough for her?

"Don't call me stupid." He was struggling to control himself from blowing up at her right in this coffee shop.

"I'm not -" she sighed and rubbed her eyes in exasperation. She didn't realize his self esteem was so low, didnt realize she had made him feel like that.

"You're not stupid." The tears in his eyes were now a mix of hurt and anger and he didnt know which one was winning out. "And you're not alone. I'm sorry." His breath got shaky.

"It's not that you're not good enough, that's crazy." His heart skipped a beat at her words.

"Then what?" His voice was on edge and so was she.

"We just aren't compatible." He laughed then. A disbelieving laugh.

"That's bullshit." She was glaring at him. She didn't think it was bullshit at all. She was serious.

"What does that even mean?" He asked then, taking in her somber expression.

"It means that no matter what we might want we couldn't work together." She said it with such confidence and it drove him mad because how could she make that decision for both of them?

"Why wouldn't we work? What's so incompatible about us, huh?" He was angry at her, and hurt, and full of desparation. To understand. To make sense of it. Of them.

"We just dont want the same things, okay?" She wanted to be done with this conversation, regretting ever sitting down in the first place.

"Not okay." He didn't even hesitate for a beat. "How could you possibly know what I want?" She swallowed at his words, at how sure he was of them. And then she hesitated. What if he was right? But as soon as it came, she rejected the thought, shaking her head.

"It's very clear what you like okay? And I have different... My needs are different than yours, okay?" There was a slight blush on her cheeks and he couldn't believe she was flustered.

"What do you think I like? What do you need that you don't think I can give to you?" He was trying to get her to open up to him like he had to her. She was struggling to verbalize her thoughts but he wasn't going to let go.

"Look you're clearly used to a certain dynamic with women. And that's fine. That's what works for you-"

"Stop it with the criptic bullshit and say what you mean!" He held her gaze. Unrelenting. Both stubborn, pissed off and frustrated.

"Fine!" She almost shouted but returned her voice to normal when she realised where they were.

"You like to fuck girls." She was looking right at him and he started to blush. This was not what he expected her to say.

"What?" He didn't understand what she was getting at at all. She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance over how she would explain it to him in this public ass space.

"You don't think I can be faithful?" His words were frantic, confused, hurt. Like the idea of her thinking that hurt him deeply. She shook her head at his assumption

"No, that's not what I meant." He looked more confused than ever.

"Then what?" His eyes were saying please. Please tell me. Help me understand.

"I'm a domme." Her voice was so low he almost didn't hear it.

"You what?" He stuttered out. She shrugged deciding enough was enough. She had nothing to be ashamed of. And if he wanted the truth he could deal with it.

"I'm a domme. I fuck guys, not the other way around." She looked at him, a picture of poise and calm - a stark contrast to his wild thoughts, very obvious in his panicked eyes. His Adam's apple bobbed as he took her in now - in her full light. Understanding washing over him.

"So what?" She cocked a brow at him. "You think I can't handle being fucked by a girl? Is that it?" He nearly laughed at the absurdity of it all.

"No, Rafe. I don't." Hurt flashed in his eyes and she continued.

"I don't just fuck guys. I'm particular. I have my wants and needs. That's just the way I am. And I'm not compromising on that for anyone. Not even you." It pained her to say it but it was true.

She had spent too long repressing her own nature, being ashamed, conforming to what other people told her was normal and she wouldn't ever go back to that. Not for anyone. Even if she did want him. Bad. She would not sacrifice her own needs for a guy ever again. She was stronger than that and she deserved more. Being lonely was part of the territory. But she'd rather the loneliness than the heartbreak of keeping herself hidden away like she had in the past. Even if it hurt to breathe when he was looking at her like that. Even if she wanted to kiss him so damn bad it felt like her heart would stop if she didnt.

He was gobsmacked. Out of all the things he thought she might say this was not one of them. It confused him why she thought he'd want her to ever compromise who she was for him. As if he didn't adore everything about her already. As if he hadnt been following her around like a lost puppy begging for her time, feeling so sad and alone when he thought she didn't want him. But now that he knows she does and she's holding herself back over something as silly as who's in charge in the bedroom was making his head spin. This was about sex. He laughed at the realization.

"What?" She was frowning at him. Offended, hurt that he'd laugh at her after she opened up to him.

"I'm sorry. It's just-" he looked ready to laugh again. "That's it?" She looked dumbfounded.

"All of this because you think we aren't compatible in bed?" She almost rolled her eyes at his oversimplification. He was making fun of her and she was serious. He realized he had hit a nerve when she kept looking at him like he kicked her.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I just- why are you so sure we aren't compatible then?" He was testing her.

"Because I know guys like you."

"Guys like me? What's that supposed to mean?" Now he was offended. He thought they were past this.

"You chase girls, you have your fun and then you move onto the next one. And the cycle goes on." She was looking so confident when she said it. And he knew she was right. He had acted like that in the past.

"I don't do that, Rafe." He sighed. His hand reaching for hers again but this time she pulled back. It hurt.

"You really think so little of me? That I couldn't do anything different just because I've done it a certain way so far?" His eyes were boring into her. Begging her to let him in. To believe him.

"Do you want to do it different?" She asked quietly.

"Maybe I do." She shook her head.

"Maybe." She scoffed at the childish response.

"What do you want me to say?" He was exasperated.

"Nothing. This was a waste of time." Panic rose within him. She couldn't just leave.

"No. It wasn't. Just- just give me a chance-"

"Chance to what? Rafe you're a player. I don't fuck players." Ouch.

She was slipping away again. And he didnt know what to do. How to fix it. Because even though it terrified him it also thrilled him - the thought of her fucking him, taking him, using him. Like he had used girls many times before. It was both confusing and incredibly arousing and he couldn't think straight. And now she was ready to leave again and he was getting desparate. So desparate. He had wished for her to want him for so long and now that she does he can't let a silly thing like this stand in the way.

"I'm not a player." It was a lie. She looked at him and called bullshit. "I - I don't want to be a player. I don't want to chase girls. I just want you." He was basiclly begging her at this point.

"Rafe. You don't know what that means."

"Then show me? Please? Show me..." he was looking at her with big needy eyes and it caused a stirring deep within her.

She stood up then, his heart racing, praying she doesn't leave. She took a step closer to him, her voice as soft as butter but her words sharply piercing his insides.

"I only fuck good boys, Rafe." His breath caught in his throat, heart hammering in his chest from her proximity. He wanted to pass out. In need, desparation, arousal. All of it at once.

"Bad boys aren't worth my time." She stood back up giving him one final once over and made to leave. His hand wrapped around her wrist a moment later causing her to turn back around and meet his eyes. In them? Complete and utter adoration. A need to have her so deep it was hurting.

She wanted him so bad too. But she meant what she said and she knew what he was like. It was unfair really, that the one guy she has this strong of a pull for cannot give her what she needs. And she can't give him what he needs either. Tragic really. When he looked so pretty and needy and willing. But she knew better than to fall for it. He just wanted her to let her guard down and it would end up causing them both a world of heartache when it inevitably didn't work out.

"I can be good." His words flooded her insides, setting her on fire. She looked at him with apprehension and he nodded his head.

"I can be good. For you." She wanted to groan at the words, hitting her right where he hoped. He was driving her nuts. Breaking down the walls of certainty she built around her with just a few words and those pretty eyes. It was so frustrating. How fast she was crumbling.

"I want to be good for you." Voice a mere whisper at that point. He was laying it all out. Leaving himself vulnerable hoping she wouldn't walk away from him now. He wanted to prove to her and himself he could be what she needed. He gulped waiting for her next move.

His eyes closed as her soft hand made conctact with his face, fingers running over his skin gently and then gripping his jaw with light yet commanding fingers. He couldn't breathe. She was looking at him like she would destroy him and he knew that she meant it. And he craved it too, so badly. Craved to give her exactly what she wanted, needed it. Her eyes were swirling with need and lust and he could have passed out then and here.

"You sure about that?" He startled as her words broke the haze a little bit, already melting at her feet. She was good and he was so so needy.

"Yes. Please." The please escaped without his consent, the moment so raw and tense and intimate he couldn't hold back. She smirked and he knew he was in trouble.

"Okay then. Let's go."

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[silantryoo]

BONUS [ LIKEALOOK ] — goodbye, my danish sweetheart.

yoo jimin, third year

WARNINGS; objectification, outing, mentions of homophobia, mentions of sexual acts, self-sabotage, cheating, mentions of coercion, power imbalance, victim blaming (2.5k)

yoo jimin hasn't looked in a mirror since alex had left the team.

her best friend, the girl that she trusted, slept with the girl she loved. she didn't care whether or not alex was drunk, whether it was before anything went down between her and yeji.

she knew how jimin felt, how yeji was there for her during her injury, how much their captain helped her. jimin had even told alex how her stomach fluttered whenever she and their captain talked, and how her heart seemed to combust at the thought of yeji visiting her at the hospital.

alex should've known.

"she left the team."

a string of words, one of which should've given her a sense of relief. she longed for the euphoria, and the heavy weight from her chest lifted. jimin thought she would finally breathe the clean air she had desperately wished for.

it was poison, fire and acid mixed and poured down her throat. her lungs burnt, scarred as she struggled to breathe.

it was not only the air, but everything she touched. every surface - steel, metal, skin - seemed to bubble under her corrosive touch. all of the things she touched enveloped in the concoction that plagued her being.

guilt.

jimin had never felt as angry as she ever did. the lava that laid dormant inside her body could no longer sit still. everything had led up to the destruction of her and those around her.

alexandra baek was yoo jimin's best friend.

she knew her secrets, the lengths the younger girl would go to just to hide them. the things the younger volleyball player kept behind a locked door, she willingly let jimin have access to. it was eerily similar, the terror of disappointment shrouded alex the same way it did jimin.

jimin knew her weaknesses, all of them, even the ones that would ruin the younger girl's life.

"why is alex avoiding you?" aeri scrolled through her phone, and jimin could see her reading their texts over. "did you threaten her or something?"

threaten? no, jimin did much worse.

"i didn't."

aeri huffed, clearly not pleased with her answer. she thought this stupid feud would blow over. jimin cherished the younger girl, much like a sister.

she wouldn't throw that away for anyone, much less yeji.

"look, i know the whole thing with yeji is shit right now," aeri started, mentally noting the understatement. "and you're probably pissed at her for leaving the team, but she needs you right now."

jimin closed her eyes, picturing the creature she found staring back at her a few weeks ago. the one with soulless eyes, void of guilt, of compassion. dark brown eyes that only burned rage.

it was her father's eyes in her own.

"jimin..."

she didn't know why she felt like that, why it felt so good to finally erupt, to cause harm and hurt others the way they hurt her.

she was still a good person. jimin knew she had to be. this was just a momentary slip. it was just an accidental mishap.

"jimin." aeri sighed. "her parents found out."

guilt.

she knew.

she was the one who told the baek's about their daughter's fling. jimin had heard the slurs that were thrown over the phone, damning their own child for the things she felt.

she knew, she did it.

shin yuna was getting prettier each day.

she couldn't help but notice how the younger girl seemed to shine on court as of late. she liked the way yuna walk around like she owned the place, even though she clearly didn't. the way she silently smirked to herself whenever she got a kill lured jimin in.

it was like watching herself, without having to look at what she was becoming.

yeji glanced at her ace, grinning at the predatory look in her eye. it was refreshing to see jimin like this, void of morals and thinking only about what would please her.

it was only a matter of time.

"nice view?"

jimin recoiled, eyes harsh on her captain, watching her smirk. she hated how yeji seemed to think that the two of them were similar. of course, she found shin yuna attractive. it was shin yuna.

sue her for staring at yuna's legs.

jimin grumbled under her breath, walking away from yeji and sitting on the bench, near the others.

"bitch."

she couldn't believe that she dated that monster.

"that's odd." yuna stretched, and jimin felt a gnawing pit in her stomach. "yeji-sunbae's usually nice."

the girls in the vicinity glanced at her.

the yeji they knew was angry, hot-headed and rude. she'd rather rip your head off then say thank you for holding the door open. more often than not, yeji actually did yell at you for holding the door open.

"that's only because she wants to sleep with you, yuna." haewon shook her head, drinking from her bottle.

"you think so?" the freshman sat up, smiling coyly. "i mean, i am pretty hot."

jimin's eyes shot to yuna's smile, and she found herself clenching her jaw, biting back a hum of agreement.

what was she doing? she already had y/n. jimin didn't need more. maybe she craved more, but she would never ever cheat.

jimin calmed herself. finding one of her teammates attractive wasn't cheating. she didn't have any romantic feelings for the younger girl, anyway. it was just curiosity.

if jimin happened to imagine yuna in her bed from time to time, so what?

"that's not something to be proud of." chaeryeong muttered. she couldn't believe this was her crush's younger cousin. "that's like being happy a serial killer chose to kill you because you'd look pretty dying."

yuna shrugged. "and?"

"god." haewon could only sigh. out of everyone she's ever met, yuna seemed to be the most insane sane person. "i hope they don't make you captain next year."

jimin frowned, drowning them out as she took her shoes off.

she needed to stop letting yeji get to her. for as long as she's known her, yeji always pushed jimin's buttons. it was endearing at first, yeji claiming that she liked when jimin's eyebrows furrowed, how cute she looked when she frowned.

jimin didn't realize until now that yeji just liked pissing her off. she liked mentally tormenting her for some sick reason. the way the captain shoved her flaws in her face was to anger her, because it was funny.

it wasn't, and it never has been.

she didn't want to focus on yeji, not anymore. not when jimin had finally gotten the perfect girl, the girl that everyone had wanted.

l/n y/n.

she was adorable, caring in a way that jimin had never experienced. she'd constantly check on the older girl, asking about the little things that jimin didn't even think of.

the other day, y/n had even asked her if she ate. when jimin said no, she suggested that the two of them should go out together for food.

she had never experienced that type of care, considering yeji was her first and only relationship before y/n.

jimin glanced at wonyoung, sparing her a glare in which the younger girl returned by the tenfold.

jang wonyoung lucked out. it was a good thing jimin had managed to take what's rightfully hers.

"jimin-sunbae?" yuna asked, pulling jimin's gaze away from the heiress. "you took history of classical dance right?"

jimin nodded. "for my elective, yeah."

"do you have the notes?" yuna's voice sounded sweet, like a peach waiting to be eaten. "i have it this year and gaeul-sunbae refuses to give them to me."

"it's better to learn and write the notes yourself." gaeul muttered, putting on sweats over her shorts. "i told you, if you need help understanding the material after, i can help you study-"

"no." yujin tensed, her voice tight. her once expressive eyes turned firey as she looked at yuna. "i don't want yuna in our dorm. she might steal."

jimin rolled her eyes. yujin had been guarding gaeul like a dog since yeji managed to get her hands on the setter.

(she didn't understand how yeji could go from her to gaeul, considering the two were only similar in vulnerability.)

"i will not!" yuna whined, jimin's ears burning red. "maybe gaeul-sunbae's heart but-"

yujin paused, her body tense as she stood up from the bench. her fists were clenched, and her body language seemed to read pure rage, but jimin could see the way her lip quivered.

"excuse me?"

pain.

jimin had been feeling that recently, too.

"unnie," wonyoung muttered, tugging yujin's hand. jimin could see gaeul purse her lips, and it didn't take a genius to understand why. "sit down before gaeul-unnie scolds you."

yujin grumbled, begrudgingly sitting back down in between gaeul and wonyoung. the oldest of the three seemed down all of a sudden, and jimin wondered how gaeul could stand to be near wonyoung when all she did was take yujin's attention.

jimin hoped that one day, gaeul would wake up and face the horror that was jang wonyoung.

"i can give it to you tomorrow."

"i'll just drop by later." jimin froze. "my first exam's next week."

she didn't know why, but the thought of having yuna in her dorm set her skin on fire. jimin felt like she was suddenly lit by a match, her brain running wild.

she shook her head. jimin didn't need anything else but y/n. the volleyball player felt so emotionally fulfilled by the younger girl, even when their kisses felt empty and when y/n's words felt half-hearted.

"why'd you wait so long?" haewon knew that yuna was gonna bomb the test. "you're gonna fail at this rate."

still, it wouldn't hurt to urge aeri out, to make sure she spends the night with whoever the hell she meets at the club.

"yujin said that i have plenty of time to study."

besides, jimin didn't like yuna. nothing was going to happen.

she wasn't yeji, nor was she her father.

"yujin probably as a 0.1 gpa."

she wasn't a monster.

"i do not!"

even if her mirror told her otherwise.

the most painful thing about the divorce was watching her father leave.

he had gotten her a maroon luggage when she had accepted suma's offer. it was embezzled with a gold zipper, and a metal handle that gleamed against bright light. she took it with her on her first year, putting all her belongings snug inside. she used it to go back home, when her acl ripped in half and she could no longer play.

jimin had also watched it get taken away when her father packed in a rush, her mother crying on their bed begging him to stay, to love them instead of his mistress.

jimin knew if he did, she would have forgiven him.

staying was more important in the end.

a soft knock on the door rattled throughout jimin's empty dorm. she sat up, dressed in semi-decent clothes, breathable and easy to take off.

jimin reached for the door, opening it.

"sunbae."

nothing was gonna happen. she wasn't gonna cheat, especially not with yuna. jimin would never abuse her status, nor disregard her relationship like that.

but something burnt within her, something that resembled her father on a tuesday afternoon.

"yuna, hey." jimin could hear her voice echoing back in her ears, and she wasn't so sure why it sounded so... ravenous. "i left the notes on my desk. you can just grab them."

yuna nodded, her eyes trailing jimin's figure as she stepped inside. the room buzzed with a dull hum as jimin closed the door behind her, yuna walking up to her senior's desk.

jimin walked next to the younger girl, capturing her perfect side profile and ingraining it in her brain.

"how tall are you?"

there was a light in her eyes, something that jimin used to see in hers. it gleamed brightly, reflecting all yuna's wants of perfection, of hope - all of which jimin knew would amount to nothing.

she wanted to be the first one to crush it, to ruin it.

"i'm 169cm." yuna grinned, standing up a little straighter to brag. "my mom said i'm still growing though, so i'm hoping to reach 170cm next sem."

she didn't care about the consequences, not right now. jimin just wanted to break the mirror.

"your mom said that?" it was adorable how yuna seemed so pure with every intention, and jimin couldn't help but wonder if there was something more sinister underneath. "you're cute."

jimin grabbed the binder of notes, her fingertips brushing against the younger girl's as she handed it over.

yuna's eyes glazed over as she froze, and jimin couldn't hear anything but her heartbeat.

just like before, on the phone with the baek's, all she felt was power - an adrenaline rush that overrode her senses. she couldn't feel the pain, nor the guilt.

all she felt was a high like she was midjump, where her eyes were above the net, looking down at everyone who looked down on her.

jimin leaned it, her lips gently on yuna's.

yuna pulled back abruptly, a tug of confusion worming through the lust she felt. "i thought you were with someone."

jimin should've felt guilty. she should've snapped out of it and apologized, ushering yuna out and immediately sending an apology to y/n about what transpired.

"does that bug you?" she whispered, feeling her breath bounce back off of yuna's lips.

she couldn't find it in herself to care anymore, not when it felt this good.

"...no."

jimin deserved to feel good once in a while.

their limbs tangled as yuna lay naked, asleep on top of jimin.

the volleyball player stared at the ceiling, her mind whirling with the guilt that seemed to multiply with each breath her junior took.

jimin closed her eyes, tears falling from the sides of her face.

it felt good to have control, to watch someone wither and plead, begging her to instill whatever she wanted onto them. she liked the way yuna was under her, both metaphorically and physically. it gave her a high that no one, not even y/n could provide.

it was like ruining herself, punishing herself for everything wrong with her life.

still, the guilt managed to burrow its way through.

she wondered if y/n would react the same way as her mother, or if she would go run back to wonyoung, tears in her eyes as she cried and cried.

she couldn't let that happen,

besides, it wasn't actually cheating. jimin never once let yuna touch her. she would never let anyone but the girl she was with strip her power away from her.

even if she did, jimin would never think once about leaving y/n.

y/n was everything she wanted, in soul, body, and mind. she'd be stupid to ruin the trophy that she had worked so hard to win.

jimin wasn't her father. she wasn't going to leave. she was a good person, searching for good things in her life.

she shouldn't feel guilty. she had nothing to feel sorry for. jimin did nothing wrong. she couldn't have, otherwise, she was no better than her deadbeat father.

she wasn't her father. she couldn't be, she wouldn't let herself be.

jimin closed her eyes, drowning out the sound of yuna's breathing.

rage had consumed yoo jimin, and there was no turning back.

masterlist | next

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[bookishgalaxies]

hii girlyy i wanted to req a zuko oneshot where hes insecure/ self conscious about his scar and he doesn't like talking about it cause it reminds him of his past and his banishment yk and basically hes insecure but reader absolute loves every single thing about him and basically reassures him and tells him that she loves every flaw and every imperfection of his :((

𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥; 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐮𝐭

☾☼✧☽ summary: A bit of downtime while traveling with the gang causes some negative feelings to emerge. Good thing you’re there to be a comforting voice

☾☼✧☽ pairing: zuko x gn!reader

☾☼✧☽ type: oneshot, not proofread

☾☼✧☽ warnings: insecurity, could be seen as platonic

☾☼✧☽ a/n: GOD, this boy deserved so much better!! Thanks for the request, always love getting them!

▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢▢

Staring up at the night sky littered with stars, you were happy to have a moment to rest. Traveling day in and day out has its perks, but it was also quite tiring. Azusa was relentless with trying to track you all down. Moments of peace and safety were far and few in between.

Today had been especially grueling considering how close you all had gotten to being captured. You could still hear the words of Zuko’s older sister ringing in your brain. Her voice sharp and filled with venom.

Father doesn’t want you! Can’t you see that! It’s why he gave you that ugly scar, and banished you.

You had seen the look of hurt in Zuko’s eyes. Even if it was only there for a split second. He had joined Aang to help defeat his father. Always seeming very angry at the great fire lord. You knew that he was just using anger to mask the hurt. It was easier for him to be angry than to let the pain in.

Hearing movement on the other side of camp, your head instinctively jerked towards the sound. Hand flying towards your waist where a dagger normally resided. Thankfully, your heart rate started to slow when you saw it was Zuko walking away from his bedroll.

Sitting up, you followed his movements with your eyes as he walked to a nearby pond. Watching him sit by the edge and put his head in his hands. His figure lit by only the light of the moon. Wanting to respect his privacy, you looked away and rolled over to try and fall back asleep.

Your brain kept wandering back to him and you kept stealing glances at him. Quietly getting up and walking over to where he was. Deciding you would at least offer your support. If he didn’t want it, you would leave him alone.

“It’s a nice view.” You commented in a gentle voice, looking out at the full moon reflecting on the lake.

He didn’t return your comment, only lifting his head to look up at the lake. Piercing gold eyes scanning the scenery. His black hair was slightly tousled, indicating he must have been trying to sleep.

“Couldn’t sleep?” You asked, trying to get him to open up

“No.” He answered, his voice quiet void of its usual rough tone

“Something keeping you up?”

“No.”

“You don’t have to lie Zuko, I can see it in your eyes, you are hurting.”

He was silent for a moment, contemplating his next words.

“She’s got honor.”

His voice was pained no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He was clearly thinking back to his sister. How she was praised by her father, now clearly the favorite child.

“You’ve got it too.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not lying, I’m pointing out a hidden truth.”

“There isn’t an ounce of honor left in me.”

“You just don’t see it Zuko, but it is there.”

He looked at his reflection in the pond, a hand rising to touch his scar. Quickly falling to his side and balling into a fist. He turned his head to you and asked in such a genuine way it shattered your heart.

“How do you see it?”

You move to place your hand beside his face, silently asking to touch the reddened skin. He leaned his face into your palm, letting you run your thumb gently over the burned skin. Smiling warmly at him as you did so.

“I look at your actions. How you have helped save many lives. Every day you scold yourself for your past but forget that it is what shaped you into who you are today. You’ve done a lot of things Zuko and not all of them have been good. However, the person I see before me right now is changed from the one who I met months ago.”

He didn’t say anything, honestly he was taken aback. He felt your hand fall from his face as he stared into your eyes. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before he spoke.

“You always make me sound like such a beautiful person.”

You gave him another smile, this one brighter than the last.

“Because you are, inside and out.”

[emira-addams]

Dude I asbsplutely loved ur velvette and Odette fic??? And I was wondering you take requests? I was hoping i could request some emilute!! (Emily x Lute) us emilute shippers are starving

Hazbin Hotel - Emily x Lute - Drag Me to Hell

"No!" Emily almost shouted at her sister, while tears gathered in her eyes and blurred her vision. Again and again she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "You can't just kick her out of Heaven. She has nowhere to go, they'd rip her apart in Hell!"

Sera crossed her arms sternly in front of her chest "I'm so sick of Lute's permanent misbehavior!" she scolded. "She's always causing problems. She doesn't go to her appointments with her doctors and her sessions with her therapists. She refuses to take her medication. She bothers the other residents of Heaven, she scares them. She can't control her emotions and she's not seriously trying to get better." Sera sighed sorrowfully. "Emily, I have to think about the greater good for all the residents of Heaven, I'm responsible for all of you and I can't allow Lute's misbehavior any longer..."

"Sera, please... Don't give up on Lute so soon..." Emily pleaded, her voice full of despair. She looked intently at her sister, her vision blurred with tears. "Please, Sera, don't kick Lute out of Heaven... I promise you, I'll make sure Lute does everything you want... I promise, I'll take all responsibility for her!"

Sera's cold gaze started to warm slightly. Somehow she was proud of Emily, her little sister really wouldn't give up on any soul so easily. "All right," she agreed to Emily's suggestion. "But you're completely responsible for Lute and if she misbehaves again, I'll kick her out of Heaven for good..."

"Thank you!" Emily squealed and threw her arms around her sister's neck, hugging her tightly while beaming with joy.

"Good evening, Lute!"

Emily found Lute on the edge of Heaven, sitting silently on the ledge and staring down into Hell. Her shoulders sagged and her legs dangled in the void. Once again, Lute hadn't shown up for one of her appointments.

Too lost in her thoughts, Lute winced, startled. She looked up, confusion reflected in her glassy eyes as she looked Emily up and down. "Hey, Emily..." she greeted the youngest Seraphim hoarsely. Her voice rasped with dust, so rarely had Lute used it recently. "Can I help you?" she asked politely. She contorted her face into a grimace and made an effort to smile for Emily.

"No," Emily replied bluntly, joining Lute on the edge instead.

"Why are you here?" Lute wanted to know quietly, her voice wavering and the hand in her lap trembling. She was looking bad. Black circles under her eyes formed a stark contrast to her sallow skin, she was terribly pale and her body trembled. Golden blood stained the bandage around the stump of her left arm; it had probably not been changed for days.

Emily sighed sadly. "I'm here to help you..." She put her hand on Lute's remaining one to stop her trembling. "We all want to help you, the doctors and the therapists... So tell me, why are you skipping your appointments?"

"I don't know?" Lute shrugged her shoulders, slowly lowering her heavy head to rest on Emily's shoulder. She enjoyed her warmth, while the sun disappeared behind the horizon, the black of the night bleeding into the golden glow. Bright stars shone above them. "Every time they sit in front of me and look at me so disapprovingly with their stern gazes, analyzing my symptoms superficially and claiming so confidently that they know what will help me. As soon as my hour is over, they shoo me out the door with empty words of encouragement and a plastic bag of medication to numb me..." Lute tilted her head back, looking longingly up at the stars. "You know, Emily, if I take these pills, my whole world will go numb. If I don't take the pills, then I feel the faux pain in my missing arm, and if I still can feel the pain in my arm, then my arm is still attached to my body, right?" Lute laughed bitterly, glistening tears streaming down her cheeks and dripping onto Emily's hand. "Then it never really happened, I am still an exorcist and he's still with me. If I don't take the pills, I'll still hear his voice and I'll still see him standing in front of me. I don't want to take these pills, please, because if I do, I'll really lose him..." Lute looked to the ground. "With these pills it's too true to be good..."

"Oh, Lute..." Gently, Emily squeezed her hand. Emily never saw Lute cry before and she couldn’t do much against her tears, so she intertwined their fingers while her other hand gently turned Lute's chin towards her, coaxing her to look at her. "I'm sorry, but you can't just suppress reality for ever..." Emily leaned her forehead against Lute's as fine fingertips ran tenderly over her cheekbones, wiping away the stray tears again and again.

"I can try..." Lute whispered, while she lost herself in her eyes.

"You can’t just give in to your inner demons so easily." Emily shook her head. She saw the pain in her eyes. She heard the pain in her voice. "I won't let you to, Lute, I promise..."

I have never written Emily and Lute, but I hope, you like it! It was fun, maybe I will continue this idea?

[kanbockoida]

Third time’s the charm.

Adam x fem! Reader x Lucifer

Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Masterlist

Y/N just stood there, completely unmoving and completely void of any emotion. Why did he lash out? It made no sense to her, no matter how she looked at it. In their vows they had promised to always talk about what’s on their mind, when they’re insecure.. All of it happened so quickly, it took the woman a few moments to truly register everything.

Memories of their most happy moments flooded her mind, all of them quite literally breaking her apart inside. The pain bit away at her heart, small tears slowly streaming down her cheeks.

The proposal.. planning their wedding together, the honeymoon. It seemed almost as a distant memory now. Her life has been a mess ever since that first meeting with Lucifer.

The woman waltzed over to the couch, sitting down with a deflated expression. Lying down, everything suddenly completely flooded her mind.

“Babe, planning all this is exhausting! Can’t we take a break?” Her overgrown manchild whined, groaning like a toddler throwing a tantrum as he moped in the chair. Deadpanning, Y/N looked up from her laptop, staring at Adam. “Dear.. we sat down barely five minutes ago. I’m starting to think you don’t want to marry me~” Judging by the look on his face, she’s got him right where she wants him.

The first man frantically shook his head, sitting upright in an instant as his eyes shot wide. “Fuck you, of course I want to marry you!” As vulgar as he was, the brunette was telling the truth. Just like that Adam got to work, eyes not once moving from the screen. Sounds of frantic typing echoed through their living room, which made the woman giggle. He was honest and determined, she had to give him that. They worked efficiently for once, looking at everything they’d want at a wedding.

After a long while of convincing, Adam finally got what he wanted. Since day one he’s been praised for being the first man, the first human to ever be made. That alone gave him an ego bigger than anyone else’s. “I was thinking a huge fucking venue. Only the best for my babe~” The man cooed at his lover, putting his chin onto his hands, staring at the beautiful woman across from him. Y/N rolled her eyes, a smile dancing on her lips. He’s an idiot, but she loves him. They spent hours planning their wedding, deeming their ideas to be perfect.

”Shall we wind down tonight? We can review what we got so far once we wake up.” Begrudgingly, Adam agreed. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was exhausted. That night was one of many she appreciated. Cuddled up to the love of her life. Just where she wanted to be.

Sighing, Y/N once more stood up to walk around their house, feeling the need to somehow get rid of the stress she was feeling, staring at the pictures they had hung up on the walls. It was pictures of them together over the years Adam and Y/N spent together. Their first date, their first kiss. All those endearing memories seemed so near yet so far away. Thanks to Lute, they had a perfect captured moment from their proposal. Tenderly touching the frame from the picture, a small tear running down her cheek. How did everything turn out this way? Ever since she learned about the exterminations their marriage life somehow went down the drain.

The angel walked down the little hallway, stopping in front of another framed picture. A painting from their wedding day. Both her and Adam were clad in white and gold, their happy expressions captured perfectly by the artist they had hired for their perfect day. There were no worries present in that very moment all those years ago. A sigh left Y/N’s lips, remembering every single moment from that very day.

The two were always rather competitive, and getting married might have heightened that fact. A bet was made a week before the wedding, all in good fun of course. They were not to see each other twenty-four hours before the wedding, let alone talk to one another in any sort of way. Considering Adam and Y/N are rather dependent on each other, they are a little nervous. However, who was Adam if he turned down a bet like this? Surely it won’t be that bad.

However, it was terrible for Adam. No contact with the love of his life for a whole day? That’s pure torture in every way shape and form. The man yearned for her touch, for the sound of her voice. The first man is an absolute mess, moping around in his bed. It hasn’t even been half a day and Adam already missed his soon to be wife. Thinking about all of this, all he could wonder how he survived this long without his beloved being practically glued onto him. In the end, he decided to bug Lute, crying about how much he misses Y/N.

“I miss my wife, Lute.. I miss her a lot..” Whining, Adam threw himself onto the couch, face first into a pillow. Lute, Adam’s right hand and supposed ‘not-best-friend’ only sighed, shaking her head at his antics. “Sir, don’t be dramatic.”

On the other side of town, there was a soul with the same exact problem. Y/N, staying at Sera’s place, let out a groan, pacing around the woman’s living room. Just like Adam, Y/N was restless, heart yearning for his touch and the sound of his voice. “Sera, whose stupid idea was this?!” Her voice was somewhat agitated, turning to the tall woman as her expression turned sour. Acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum wasn’t unusual, especially when she didn’t get what she wanted when it involved Adam. The Seraphim however only shook her head, just a little sick of Y/N’s antics. But who was she to blame? “Y/N.. this was quite literally your idea.” Sera chortled as she stared upon the woman throwing a tantrum on her living room couch. The other woman only pouted, rolling her eyes unamused with what she had brought upon herself. “Yeah, yeah.. I get it.” Y/N scoffed, putting her face into a pillow before groaning.

Those twenty four hours passed agonizingly slow, both parties bored and sad out of their minds. So why was she this nervous now? Standing before the large mirror, the angel stared at herself in the beautiful, white dress she picked herself. Marrying the love of her life.. It felt like a dream. There was nothing that was going to come between them and force them apart.

In less than ten minutes Y/N was going to walk down that aisle. The very aisle that both her and Adam decorated to match the theme. Fairytale themed like in the books, white and gold just like they adored it. Getting the final touch-ups almost felt unreal, the makeup artist the couple hired giving her the last ounce of pep-talk the bride clearly needed while applying a soft rosy blush as a final touch. “You’re in love with him, it’s clear as day. You’ll be fine! This day is all yours, it’ll be perfect in every single way you could imagine. Now, take a deep breath and don’t start crying, you’ll ruin our hard work!” The artist chuckled, finally having to pack up her work station, a bright smile on her lips as she stared at the bride. Y/N sighed, standing up from her seated position to get the last few steps in to calm herself. The bride smiled back, a grateful and genuine one. “Thank you, really. You did an amazing job.” Y/N turned to the woman who did her makeup, before briefly admiring herself in the full body mirror. Said makeup-artist smiled before picking up her equipment, scurrying out of the bridal suite.

The clock was ticking, and the time has finally come. A soft knock on the door made her tense up briefly. It was Emily, picking her up for the bride’s entrance.

It’s time.

Soft golden light filtered through the stained glass windows, casting gentle hues of white, gold, and soft purples across the room. The air was filled with the subtle scent of lavender, mingling with the soft notes of the harpist playing a delicate melody. Each guest turned their attention towards the grand entrance, where the bride would soon appear. The aisle was a pathway to a dream, lined with tall, slender candles in ornate gold holders, their flames flickering gently. Lush arrangements of white roses, lavender sprigs, and gold-dusted leaves adorned the pews, creating an enchanting atmosphere. The high vaulted ceiling sparkled with delicate fairy lights, twinkling like stars in a perfect night sky. Above, a grand chandelier with cascading crystals caught the light, sending rainbows dancing across the room.

At the end of the aisle stood the groom, holding his breath in a desperate attempt to calm his pounding heart. ‘Hold it together’ He thought to himself, eyes slowly beginning to water as he realized that his wife-to-be is about to walk through those doors.

Just as he anticipated, the doors opened.

There she was. His bride, his beloved. A vision of ethereal beauty. Her dress, a masterpiece of lace and satin, shimmered with every step she took down the beautifully decorated aisle.

The bodice was intricately detailed with delicate embroidery and tiny pearls, flowing into a skirt that seemed to float like a cloud. Her veil, edged with lace, trailed behind her, catching the light in a soft, glowing halo. She held a bouquet of white lilies, lavender, and golden accents, a perfect match to the enchanting surroundings.

Each step she took was in time with the music, her eyes locked onto Adam’s. Her face was a mixture of joy and serene confidence, her smile radiant. Guests whispered softly, their eyes glistening with tears of happiness.

His heart ached with a powerful mix of love and awe. His eyes never left hers, and the closer she got he felt his emotional defenses crumble. His mind flashed through memories of their journey together – the first time they met, their first kiss, the countless moments that had led them to this magical day. He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to spill over. He wanted to stay strong, but how could he when Y/N looked this stunning?

As she reached the altar, her eyes welled with tears as well. She handed her bouquet to her maid of honor and took the groom’s hands in hers. Feeling his hands in hers felt thrilling, a surge of electricity seemingly rushing through their bodies. The pair admired one another, the way they stared into their eyes speaking louder than a million words. They stood there, facing each other, the world around them fading into a blur of light and color. The officiant began to speak, but their attention was solely on each other.

Adam felt a lump in his throat, and he could no longer hold back. Tears streamed down his face, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. His shoulders shook with emotion, and he smiled through his tears. The bride squeezed his hands, her own tears mingling with her radiant smile. They were both crying now, a perfect reflection of the love and happiness that filled the room.

Adam stood there, looking into the eyes of his love. The pounding of his heart was stronger than ever, his big hands cradling hers so lovingly he was afraid he’d break her if he were any rougher. With one trembling hand he reached into his pocket, pulling out a messily folded paper.. which unrolled to reveal five more pages. Seeing this made the guests burst out laughing, his beloved looking at him with the purest form of surprise.

“My flower,” the first man started, voice trembling slightly with emotion, surprising even himself. He swallowed, clenching his eyes shut as he was close to losing his composure. “From the moment I first laid my eyes upon you I knew my life would never be the same, positively of course. You’re my light and joy, the love of my life. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone as much as I love you.”

The words that came out past his lips were sincere, shocking everybody in the venue, especially the love of his life. “Sometimes it’s very difficult to find the right words to tell you just how much you mean to me. You’ve seen me at my best and at my worst. And through it all you’ve loved me unconditionally. You’ve been my rock, my confidant and my greatest supporter.” Finally, tears streamed down his cheeks, the emotions he was feeling finally got too intense. He didn’t even bother wiping them away.

“I promise to always be there for you, just as you've always been there for me. I vow to cherish you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow. I promise to support your dreams and to celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or small." He took another deep breath, his voice filled with earnest sincerity. "I promise to grow with you, to face the challenges of life together, hand in hand. And I vow to love you more each day than I did the day before, for the rest of our lives."

His voice broke again, and he paused, taking a moment to compose himself. The room was silent, the air thick with emotion. "I... I may not always have the right words, but please know that my heart is yours, now and forever. I love you more than I can ever express, and I am so grateful to be standing here with you today, promising you my forever." He smiled through his tears, his eyes never leaving hers. "Thank you for choosing me. I promise to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me."

To Y/N, Adam looked so incredibly handsome being vulnerable with his feelings. Her heart pounded, little tears too streaming down her cheeks. “My heart,” She started, voice one of a soft tremble. “From the very moment I was created, I knew we were destined to be together. The heavenly Father used half your heart to create me, making us bound together forever, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that opportunity.”

For a brief moment, the woman paused, the brightest of smiles forming upon her rosy lips, staring into Adam’s beautiful golden eyes she always got herself lost in. “You’ve shown me what it means to be loved, you showed me what it means to live, and I am eternally thankful to have you as my lifelong companion. With you, I’ve found a partner who makes my everyday life brighter, and every passing moment more meaningful.” Despite her wavering voice, her tone remained strong. “I promise to always stand by your side, through every high and every low. I vow to be your constant source of encouragement, to lift you up when you’re down, and to celebrate all of your victories, big and small. I promise to listen to you with an open heart and to speak to you with honesty and respect."

With her unwavering gaze, Y/N leaned in slightly as a big smile formed upon her lips. "I vow to cherish every moment we share, to create new memories, and to build a life filled with laughter, love, and endless adventures. I will always be your biggest fan, your partner in crime, and your safe haven." Her smile was radiant, her eyes locked onto his with unwavering certainty. "I love you with all my heart, and I am so grateful to be standing here with you today, ready to start this beautiful journey together. I promise to be the best wife I can be, for you deserve nothing less."

The air in the room was thick with anticipation, a palpable sense of joy and love emanating from every corner. The officiant smiled warmly at the couple standing before them, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes with an intensity that seemed to make time stand still.

"Do you, Adam, " the officiant, Saint Peter, began, turning to look at the first man, "take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, to love and to cherish from this day forward, until death do you part?"

The groom's eyes shone with tears, his voice steady but filled with emotion as he replied, "I do."

The Saint then turned to the bride, who was already smiling, her eyes brimming with joyful tears. "And do you, Y/N, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, to love and to cherish from this day forward, until death do you part?"

The bride's voice was clear and filled with love as she responded, "I do."

The officiant beamed, looking out over the gathered friends and family before returning their gaze to the couple. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

The room seemed to hold its breath as the groom took a step closer, his hands gently cradling the bride’s face. He leaned in, their foreheads touching for a brief, intimate moment. Then, with a playful yet tender smile, he wrapped one arm around her waist, the other still holding her cheek. With one swift and careful movement, he dipped his wife back, her dress cascading around them like a waterfall of lace and satin.

The guests gasped softly, enchanted by the romantic gesture. The groom leaned in further, their lips finally meeting in a kiss that was both passionate and tender. It was a kiss that spoke of their journey together, their unwavering love, and the promise of a future filled with endless adventures.

The bride’s hand found its way to the nape of the groom’s neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as she kissed him back with all the love and joy she felt. The room erupted into applause and cheers, the sound echoing off the walls and filling the space with celebration.

As the groom gently lifted her back up, their eyes locked once more, both of them breathless and smiling. They stood there for a moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world around them fading into a blur of golden light and happy faces.

Their first kiss as husband and wife was nothing short of magical, a perfect beginning to their happily ever after. Breaking away, Adam helped the love of his life stand up straight once more, smiling like an absolute fool. Without thinking, he scooped her up, almost speed walking down the aisle with wife in his hands. “Let’s fucking go!” He celebrated, not caring about using profanities in the holy house. And off they went to the reception..

“Just where did it all go wrong..?” Y/N muttered, finally breaking her gaze from the picture that brought up all the memories.

[spookyspecterino]

Soft Moments in the Stars

Sam Coe x GN! Reader

GN! Reader. No pronouns, no use of Y/N, or reader descriptions used.

Anxiety, worry, some fear (Sam is there to comfort you and calm you down). Comfort, breathing exercises, reassurance.

Staring out into the stars, while everyone sleeps, your mind starts to worry. Sam notices you're awake and stays up with you.

Characters: Sam Coe. Mentions of Cora Coe, Sarah, Barrett, and Andreja.

Haha, bet you didn't expect another so soon! This is short. But I really needed it. Now that the poll requests are done, I can get into the heavier more plot related stuff >:) (Aka: my sad era)

Staring up at the stars, what a primal instinct it’s been for all of humanity since the dawn of creation. The unknown, the curiosity, the wonder in it. How long have humans been looking up at the night sky? And how many of your ancestors have done just the same; sitting, staring, and questioning?

What’s out there? How do you fit in to any of it? In this vast field of stars, of people, of planets—why are you the one to go on this cosmic journey?

New Atlantis had too much light pollution to look up and stargaze at night. Akila city had too much dust and sand in the air. But now, in the cockpit of the Frontier, the entire universe stretches out for your curious, pondering eyes.

Quiet moments, when everyone is asleep and the ship drifts across the blackest sea, are rare. It’s an opportunity to sit and really think. At times, maybe the constant hustle and bustle from place to place, mission to mission, is good. It’s a distraction, that much is clear. The lively conversations among your crew, Sarah jotting down notes about unexplored systems, Cora with her enthusiastic book reports—is comforting.

You may not always have them. It may be, in time, this quiet, contemplative silence is all you have left.

It’s a chilling, anxiety-ridden truth that you’ve been forced to think of more and more. Especially now.

With every new temple you discover, every new power you gain, a rift grows between you and the others. There’s a distinct feeling to it.

Sarah and Noel look at you like you’re something to be studied. Barrett uses constant humor and jokes to cover his nervousness. Andreja feels threatened by the power imbalance.

Only Sam continues to treat you the same.

Sam—wonderful, optimistic, loving, Sam.

Your shining light in the dark.

Every outcome is uncertain, but his promises of staying with you—always being at your side, no matter what—is a comfort unlike anything else.

A long-winded sigh leaves you. Your mind can’t help but wander into the worst-case scenarios or worry about the unknown. If these temples turn you into some kind of monster… what then? If your destiny takes you on a different path than his, how can you see it coming? Could you even prevent it?

What about Cora? Will she grow up without you? Her own path taking her elsewhere?

Is this all for nothing? Is this endless space an indifferent, uncaring, void that only seeks to be filled with violence—

Soft hands caress your tense shoulders. “Hey. What’re you doing up?”

Like a light switch being flipped, the anxious, spiraling thoughts cease. A lucid calm washes over you.

You lean back in your pilot’s seat, feeling the warmth of Sam behind you. “Couldn’t sleep.” You murmur.

He hums softly, leaning down closer to you. “What’s bothering you, sweetheart?”

“It’s hard to say.”

“Hmm…” He presses soft kisses to your shoulder, gently kneading the other. “Describe how you’re feeling.”

“Frustrated. I guess. I have so many questions.”

His thumbs move to massage between your shoulder blades. “I can tell, you’re very tense.”

This makes you chuckle, a breathy and tired sound. You can feel his short beard against your neck. His lips ghost over your skin. “Come back to bed, we can work some of that frustration out.”

A very tempting offer. Other nights you would happily accept to be whisked away in his arms, forget everything, and curl up next to him to start a new day. But something stops you.

He can feel your hesitation. His lips hover and his hands pause.

“It’s…It’s not just that…” You frown at the stars. Sam’s faint reflection in the glass watches you with caring, patient eyes.

“I’m…I’m scared—terrified, actually.” As if a great floodgate opens, you release your thoughts into the still air. “I don’t know what’s coming next; I rely on Constellation to have at least some idea of what we’re getting into. Seeing Sarah and Noel just as confused as I am…it’s really unsettling. These temples and powers…what if they change me into someone—or something—unrecognizable?”

Your breath quickens. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so much responsibility on my shoulders now, it’s all so sudden. What if I screw up? What if I get someone hurt—what if I get you hurt? Or if I make the wrong choice and—”

“Whoa, whoa. Easy. Take a deep breath.”

You do, filling your lungs just as he does, as he guides you along.

In and out. Slow. In and out.

Your heart calms, just a little, but your racing thoughts still tumble around your mind. “Thanks.” You whisper, leaning your head back against his shoulder and closing your eyes.

“Stand up. I wanna hold you.”

His hands guide you out of the chair, sliding under your arms and around you like a safety net. Your hands lay over his. They’re always so warm, while yours are always cold.

His body presses against yours, flooding you with his warmth, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He murmurs into your skin. “It’s alright. I’ve got you. I will always be with you.” His fingers tangle with yours, smooth and practiced.

“It’s natural to make mistakes—and it’s not your fault. You’re learning just like the rest of us. There’s no way you can predict the future, so go easy on yourself. Making mistakes is human.” He trails light kisses up your neck to the shell of your ear. “As for everything else—we take it one step at a time, together. If something doesn’t feel right, we can adjust or take a break. Don’t push yourself. The universe isn’t going anywhere.”

Tears dot the corner of your eyes as you smile and nod. Your voice is barely a whisper. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Anytime, love.”

You take some more steadying breaths, feeling your lungs fill and empty out rhythmically. “You always know exactly what to say.”

He chuckles, his breath is warm against your skin. “I know you, and I know how it feels to be weighed down by anxious thoughts.”

After a few more minutes of watching the stars, feeling your mind slow and your thoughts ease, “I think I’m ready for bed now.”

“You sure? I can give you some more time alone if you need it.”

“Nah.” You turn in his arms to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’re greeted with the softest blue eyes and a loving smile. “I’m good now.”

Sam presses his forehead to yours. “I love you. You know that right?”

“Of course.” You press a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too.”

His content, happy, sigh—one of your favorite noises—lifts your heart out of the gloom.

[iamthecomet]

Mushy May Day Four

Love At First Sight Pairing: Ifrit/Mist Rating: Everyone Featuring: Ifrit's smitten. Mist is kind of unknowable. Ifrit trying so hard not to be creepy but is kinda creepy. Word Count: 850+ This was supposed to be a First Kiss, but it didn't work out that way...oops. Read it under the cut or on AO3.

Ifrit notices her right away. She’s the first thing he sees when he peels his eyes open, legs still shaky. He flexes his bare feet against the warm stone of the summoning circle—and he stares. He doesn’t even think not to. Doesn’t have the wherewithal to drag his eyes away from her petite form.

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. Eyes narrowing the longer he stares at her.

Someone drapes a cloak over Ifrit’s shoulders and pulls him away from the summoning circle, away from the ghoulette. He tries to keep his eyes on her, tries to commit her to memory.

The ghoul steering him away laughs, it sounds like water on rocks. He squeezes a big hand on Ifrit’s bicep. “Good luck with that, spitfire.”

“Who is she?”

“Mist.” the ghoul—void by the ozone reek of him—steers Ifrit down a long dark hallway. His knees feel like jelly. He’s driven along only by the ghoul’s pressure on his shoulder, stumbling forward.

It’s only hours later, sitting alone in an infirmary bed, that Ifrit realizes he never asked about anything else. Not where he is or why? Not the name of the void ghoul who brought him here, or the names of the other ghouls that were brought in after him—equally as shaky and confused.

He lays back, drags his hand through his mop of dark hair. He finds he doesn’t care about the answers to any of those questions—he just wants to see her again.

He doesn’t see Mist again for a long time. He gets comfortable. Learns his purpose, gets a guitar shoved into his hands and finds he enjoys playing it. He gets close with his packmates. Learns to love them like family.

He swears he sees glimpses of her. Flashes of spiky white hair disappearing around a corner. Her slight silhouette bathed in moonlight out by the lake—only to disappear when he does a double take.

As the nights pass—those glimpses become full sightings. She goes for a swim every night after midnight. Ifrit finds himself standing at the windows and watching her disappear beneath the surface of the lake. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this. That he at least should have a proper conversation with her. But he’s smitten. And he never sees her anywhere else—hasn’t had a chance. Doesn’t even know where her room is. Late one night Dew finds him standing in front of one of the large window at the end of the ghoul wing hallway. His fingers shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants. He’s waiting for a glimpse of her.  

He tries not to feel weird about it—this strange voyeurism of a woman he’s never met. But it isn’t for lack of trying, and he’s not creepy. He swears he isn’t. He just wants to know her—wants to know how to know her.

Dew nudges him with his elbow. “You spying on Mist again?”

Ifrit jumps, drags his eyes away from the glassy stillness of the lake in the distance. “No—what—I’m not—”

“Relax,” Dew rolls his eyes, he grabs Ifrit hands, lanky fingers lacing with Ifrit’s thicker ones. He pulls him down the hallway with surprising strength. Ifrit tries to protest, but Dew doesn’t look back at him.

“Where are we going?”

“To see Mist.”

“You know her?”

Dew looks over his shoulder at Ifrit, fair eyebrows raised up to his hairline. “We’re both water ghouls.” He says as an explanation.

He tugs Ifrit forward and shoves him toward a door.

“Knock. Say hi. Don’t be fucking weird.”

And then Dew’s gone, his own door slamming shut behind him. Ifrit swallows the tightness building in his throat. He’s hot. When did he start sweating?

He raises a fist and knocks softly on the door. Silence answers him. He feels a wave of relief. Good. She’s not here. He doesn’t have to embarrass himself tonight, he can go back to his room and-- The door swings open. He looks down and is met with Mists icy stare. She taps her painted nails on the door as she drags her eyes over his frame.

“Ifrit,” she says. It’s not a question, even thought they’ve never been formally introduced. She runs her other hand through her short spiky hair, dragging her palm over the undercut on the side of her head.

“Yeah I uh—”

“It’s about time you introduced yourself.” She crosses her arms. Despite being so much smaller than him—there’s something in her gaze that makes Ifrit feel like he’s already on his knees. Her lips tip up toward a smirk. “You’ve been watching me enough.”

“I—“ Ifrit tries to think of a way to defend himself. A way to sound less creepy than he feels. Heat rises through his face. Mist’s small smirk breaks into a grin. As his panic rachets higher. “It’s fine. Trust me. If I didn’t want you to see me—you wouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry—”

Mist opens the door a little wider. She gestures into her dark room with her free hand. “Come on, pretty boy. Let’s get to know each other.”

[knee-stockings]

i know i'll feel better if i type out my feelings but what should i do when the very act of just getting them down hurts so much? (long vent, no need to read)

it feels like i'm taking care of someone who fucking hates me. coming home is stressful and i know it's technically not his fault and i shouldn't take anything personal but god how can i not? whenever i try to help him he shies away or hits me. his grip strength is still so strong and i'm sure he exacerbated my wrist problems with how hard he grabs my wrists. just now i tried to help him to the bathroom and he slapped my arm so hard it brought tears to my eyes. i held them back. i've become a master of holding back tears because i hate crying in front of him so much. he just stares blankly, and the last time i full-on sobbed he just. laughed. i KNOW i'm not supposed to take it personally. i know that.

i try to adjust his bib before dinner and he grabs his collar and pulls away as if my hands are wrapping around his throat. i try to help him up off the couch and he slaps at me with his other hand. i try to stop him from eating so fast he chokes and he gets angry. i try to hold him back from running outside and hurting himself and he pinches me hard enough to draw blood. how many times can i say i'm trying to help you. i'm trying to help you. i'm trying, i swear i'm trying. but i'm not doing enough, i think. she's struggling more than i am, because she has to be with him every day when i go to work. she does far more than i do, so why am i complaining when i don't have the right to?

sometimes when he's sitting on the couch staring at the tv, he falls asleep. and i hate that these daytime naps give me brief moments of peace. but sometimes i'll look at him nodding off and he just looks like such an old, pitiful man that it breaks my heart. it wasn't always like this. sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason. and no amount of prayer can do anything about that.

somehow i do feel better typing this out. it feels good to scream into a void where there's a very slim chance that like three people will see this, and more than likely no one will read the whole thing. and i'm grateful for that. i hate feeling like i'm burdening someone else with my own shit. i'm not the only person taking care of a family member with dementia, and i know so many people have it harder than me. but at least i can pretend like someone's listening.

[prsk-krow]

First things first, you are a reeeallly great writer. Like, the way you write Nightcord at 25:00 is so interesting, yet so believable as something conjured up by Colorful Palette. (Or whoever develops the game idk) You have a really nice talent. :)

Anyway and now an actual prompt uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we haven’t done vocaloids yet so, how about

(Miku x Concerned Reader) You wonder how someone is able to spend lots of time in a lonely Sekai by just singing with nothing and no one insight (most of the time). You determined that it isn’t possible, and that Hatsune Miku needs some toys and doo-hickeys. STAT.

{Niigo Miku receiving gifts from concerned reader!}

Ahaha... Gosh, these praises are so nice... Although I don't think it's that good, I'm glad that my writing is being received so well! Guess I have to keep it up, huh? Also bless N25 Miku, Caw.

No matter how many times you visited the sekai, you couldn't get used to the emptiness of it... There was nothing to do, nothing to look at, and almost nothing to listen to! If it weren't for the connection to music that this place had, you might have been genuinely creeped out by the thought of staying here!

So that's why you felt a little sorry for the lonely vocaloid that seemed to wander the empty void, with only songs and irregular visits to distract her... It you were in her place, you would've gone insane a long time ago, yet she seemed so content with her everyday life... Or was she? She tried to calm your worries anytime the topic was brought up, yet you had a nagging feeling that this wasn't as simple as she made it seem...

Eventually, your worries got the best of you, and you decided to give her a little something to satisfy boredom; a classic jigsaw puzzle! You entered the sekai, quickly finding Miku there; sitting on top of those weird, pyramid like things that emerged from the ground, and staring off into the distance, like always.

When you showed off the gift that was in your hands, she tilted her head to the side in confusion. You were giving her her a gift? Why her? Also, what was it? It wasn't a music disk, was it? You slowly but surely answered every question she came up with, sitting now next to her as you gave her a slight head start on the puzzle!

After some explanation which she listened to carefully and with eyes slightly sparkling with interest, she understood and started placing each piece, slowly but surely, in their proper place. It was quite big, so it would entertain her for a while! At least, you hoped. She suddenly started playing soft music, singing along as a small smile appeared on her face. You could now exit the sekai with the satisfaction of a job well done!

Thankfully, you had a lot of jigsaw puzzles from when you were a kid, so you simply took another one and headed to the sekai again the next day! Finding Miku with your gift was expected; what wasn't was the fact that it was still incomplete, even after a whole day, especially since vocaloids didn't sleep... Did you give her one that was too big to start?

"Um... I tried to continue after you left, but... I got distracted by the song I was singing... Then the rest of the group came in, and I left it behind to listen to their chatting and music demo... And then I forgot where it was..."

You gently patted her head, as you sat down next to her, and decided to finish this one with her first! Her eyes slightly widened as you didn't seem to mind at all, and started to teach her how to do the last few pieces. Almost as if she hadn't been so stubborn, and caused you to worry so much about her... Did you really not mind at all?

Soon enough you two had finished the puzzle, but now you knew that perhaps it was a bit too early for another one... You'd take apart all of the pieces, and let her rearrange them again, now that she had the hang of it! She stared at the now empty puzzle, and sat down to begin working on it anew!

And that's how it began... From jigsaw puzzles, to rubik cubes, to wooden puzzles... Everyday, you would come to check up on how Miku was doing with her latest puzzle, and you'd give her a new one! Or perhaps an old one that she may have forgotten about, she didn't seem to mind! In fact...

"... Fufu. You're really nice... Even though I told you so many times that I'm perfectly fine with being here, alone, with my music and your visits, you still worry about me... Enough to go out of your way to give me these... Thank you."

Her smile looked so cute whenever she said something along those lines, and you couldn't be more proud to have helped her with a problem she mostly dismissed as unimportant! She wasn't dissatisfied with her role before, but now it felt like you cared for her as if she were a normal group-mate.

In return, she made sure to sing a bit for you every time you came inside the sekai. Hearing her melodical voice always seemed to loosen you up from the day you had, no matter if it had not been that bad, or had it been quite terrible... However, her face focused on the pieces was enough to lighten up your mood! Be it to coo, or to chuckle inside your mind. No matter which, her presence definitely brightened your day!

There we go! I'm not sure if these are the toys you were referring to, but they were the ones that came to my mind first for toys to pass the time! Caw.

[joel-brooks]

Ft. Lori x Lily Brooks Tag: @lorixbrooks Mentions: @dianabrooks @adamsbrooks

Lily: Lily was home for one reason and one reason only, to make sure her dad was ok. What happened to the MC was bad enough but she knew the arrival of Lori would shake that amour he'd built so well - as only an old flame could, she supposed. Assuming he told her everything, right down to the 'I want you' comment, she allowed herself a day to dwell. Or more accurately, think about how she felt about it whilst worrying about how he felt. Lily liked to think she knew her dad better than most, it's how she knew that whilst he wouldn't say more than admitting he missed her, he was struggling with the idea of seeing her around town. Suspicious of every blonde in passing, it was a local restaurant where she hawk eye spotted Lori sitting alone in a booth. Of course she wasn't going to ignore her, she had a lot to say - or at least she thought she did. Heading in, she goes to the bar first, requesting a top up of whatever she was drinking, along with a bowl of cheesy fries and a beer for herself. With a deep breath and her shoulders pinned back, she walks confidently into view, sliding into the opposite booth and placing the drinks down. "Hey, mom," using the term loosely, she adds... "Not waiting for anyone are you? Good. Because the last time we spoke was back when I couldn't pronounce my P's. My vocabulary has greatly improved since then, you might wanna buckle up." Expression void of the swirly emotions she suddenly felt sitting so close to the woman who gave her life, she opts for a swig of her beer before continuing. "So, I'm told you ambushed my dad on his own turf. How'd that work out for you?" Something of a trick question considering she already knew the answer, but it was mostly just to break the ice.

Lori: Despite doing her best to avoid Joel, as promised, Lori had found herself settling into town quite easily. Tonopah had a certain small town charm that she had always craved. So far the diner was her favourite place. She was a sucker for fries and a strawberry shake. Sat in a booth by herself, nose buried deep in a new book, the sudden presence startled her. The surprise was obvious by the blank expression on her face as she stared at Lily for a moment, brain struggling to process the fact that she was actually there in front of her. "Don't really have anyone to wait for. So, no." she shrugged her shoulders, glancing down at the drinks Lily had set on the table. "Well, congrats on the vocabulary. I see you managed to order drinks with no issue, so it must be pretty good." she offered up a small smile, leaning back into her seat. "I'm sure you already know exactly how that worked out for me. And I'm sure your dad already told you everything that I said to him, which is why you're here right now. Right?" she raised an eyebrow at Lily, reaching for the fresh milkshake and pulling it towards herself. "So, what do you really want to ask me? Maybe something you don't already know the answer to would be a good start."

Lily: Her voice isn't how she thought it would be, a small detail that catches her a little off guard. The reality of how all the things she did know about her were just other peoples memories and this? Was basically the first one she would remember for herself. "It's not the only reason but sure, it is a biggie." Raising a brow before she realised Lori was doing the same thing, it's replaced by an instant frown. "Out of the two of us I'm feeling like I'm the only one who's smart mouth can be justified. Besides, what's wrong with collecting data from both sides? It makes for more accurate findings." Lily narrowed her eyes, feeling like her expressions were the only thing she had as a way to defend herself. Staring back into her own blue eyes wasn't as easy as she thought it was going to be. "He told you to go and you refused. I don't think he's very used to being told no these days, people are usually smart enough to do what he says." It's more like a passing comment but she would be curious to know how much Lori had learnt since her arrival. "Okay..." Now sitting forward as she wants to ask something she didn't know the answer to. "What suddenly snapped in here," tapping her head, "to bring you here..." now tapping the table as a gesture to the town itself - she had devised that something substantial happened, otherwise would she have not been happy to continue her life back in Vegas? "And... since it didn't go how you thought it would, what makes you think anything will change?"

Lori: Having Lily sat here in front of her was definitely something she was finding hard to process. The sweet, three year old she had left behind was now a full blown adult and it was like looking at a reflection of her younger self. "The smart mouth is genetic, it just comes naturally. For both of us, clearly.” she couldn’t help the hint of a smirk that tugged at her lips, almost proud of the way Lily was carrying herself. Lori raised an eyebrow at her, curiosity sparked at the idea of Joel being someone people were afraid to say no to. “Funny how things change. It was always the other way around. And I didn’t refuse, I simply stood my ground and said I was staying.” she rolled her eyes, wondering for a moment if Joel had exaggerated their encounter with the intention of making sure she stayed away. She sighed, realising that the part of the story she’d left out for Joel, was now the answer to Lily’s question. “I realised, after a lot of therapy, that the life I had in Vegas wasn’t the one I wanted. I could never truly be happy, or at peace, or whatever Dr Greene said, until I faced my mistakes. But I didn’t want to be happy or at peace with that life. It was fake. Your dad, you, Adam, Diana… That was the life that I wanted, but my stupid brain just wouldn’t let me have it.” A frown settled into her features as she spoke, hoping Lily would understand what she was saying. “Plus it’s much harder to go through with a wedding that you don’t even want when you’re already married. Made leaving Vegas a hell of a lot easier, though.” she took a sip of her milkshake, as if that last part was nothing, even though that was the one bit she’d been trying to avoid saying out loud. “Oh, honey, it went exactly how I thought it would. I wasn’t expecting him to sweep me off my feet and run into the sunset. I don’t know if anything will change, and if it doesn’t, I can be okay with that. Eighteen years is a long time.”

Lily: "Clearly." Lily rolls her eyes, not paying too much attention to the comment. Lily chose to acknowledge the main thing here which was that Lori wasn't going to yield, nor be intimidated by her attitude. Whilst the girl may have preferred it, only due to the fact it would be easier to get the truth from a weaker type, it was clear that the woman before her knew how to battle. Fine. So shall it be. "That's the same thing." Raising a brow with a little scoff - was being asked ( or told ) to leave, and saying no, the very definition of a refusal? As Lori started to speak, Lily slipped off her jacket - getting comfortable, soaking in every word that was spoken. Just as she thought to say something about how she did have understanding on the diagnosis Lori was given, she talked a little more and... "Wedding? Oh holy shit," laughing instantly. "See, I do like how you didn't mention that to Joel... But you mention it to me." Tipping her head in curiosity. "Almost like you know I'm going to tell him and then... You don't have to. Nice. Smart, actually." Lily tips her beer forward before taking another sip. "Doesn't really make much sense though, does it? Rebuilding your life should mean you're making it into something you do want. Instead, you've let a presumably decent person believe you'd be open to spending the rest of your life with them... Not even thinking to mention the little detail of your previous life, the one in which you're legally married." She's not sure there's an actual question there, maybe she's just talking out loud in order to keep her head clear. "Mm, yeah, okay, firstly? Don't call me honey. Secondly, it's a lifetime... Not just a long time." Well, it was her lifetime at least. "You came here with intention, I can admire that, but tell me... Did any part of you actually think about the fact that the life you were hoping to get back is as far gone as the people in it?" Real talk, Lily would say. "Goes without saying for me, I'm an adult now. But then there's Adam, he's been to war and came back a dollar and a limb short. Diana got so messed up at one point she needed rehab, and dad.... He went to jail defending a member of a club we all consider family. My point, Lori, is none of us are the people you remember. You're chasing ghosts." Frowning, she finds herself shaking her head, what it all boiled down to was how much she loved her father. "You want him back... But just humour me for a minute because... Just say he did accept you, want you back too... What happens a few weeks later? When you see for yourself he's not the same guy you knew?" That was Lily's real fear because she knew that her dad still loved her. She didn't want to see him heartbroken for a second time.

Lori: "No, it's not. Saying I refused makes me sound like a petulant child, which I am not." Lori argued, mirroring her daughter's raised eyebrow. She watched as Lily seemed to get herself comfortable in her seat, almost a little shocked that she was doing so. A part of her thought that she wasn't going to stay for long, but apparently that wasn't the case. A heavy sigh pushes past her lips before they pull into a tight smile, nodding her head. "I didn't mention it to Joel because it wasn't important or relevant to the conversation. You can tell him if you want, that's your call, but the reason I'm telling you is because it's the answer to the question you just asked me." Her tone was a little harsher than she had intended, but given the interrogation, it seemed justified. "Besides, I wasn't actually engaged. My parents set me up with him when I was back on my feet, and eventually conversations started about getting married and my mother was talking about wedding dresses, and I just went along with it because I thought that's what I wanted. Then I had my epiphany, so to speak, and when he actually popped the question I said no." It wasn't an easy conversation, turning down the man that she'd somehow planned the rest of her life with without even realising she was doing it. The whole relationship had been so manufactured that it didn't even feel real. "And he did know. Not about you, but he knew that I'd been married before, and that I'd been in rehab, though that part wasn't really public knowledge. It was all about my parents' reputation, and when you're mentally vulnerable and incredibly grateful to those parents for saving your life, you don't really think to object when they start planning out your whole future." Besides her therapist, she'd not said any of that out loud before and it suddenly felt like a whole weight had been lifted from her shoulders now that she'd finally voiced it. "Firstly, if you're going to call me mom, I'm going to call you honey. Secondly, I know. My long time, is your lifetime, and I am so sorry. I can't take that back, and I know I can't fix what I broke with apologies. But I want to try." She sat in silence for a moment, eyes widened ever so slightly at the onslaught of information that Lily threw at her. It was a lot to take in, and too much for her to think about and comment on in the moment, so instead she just nodded. A simple gesture to show that she understood what Lily was saying. "I'm not chasing anything, or anyone, Lily. I'm certainly not the same person I was when I left, so I'm not fool enough to think that everyone else would be. I didn't come here to pick up where we left off." she shook her head, taking another sip of her milkshake to give herself a minute. "I came here because I needed to start over. For myself. I needed to know that you, and your dad, were okay. And I know that he's not okay, but he's breathing, so that's something." she shrugs her shoulders before she continues. "Of course I want him back. I still wear my wedding ring on this necklace, and we still have matching tattoos, and he was the first, and only person that I have ever truly loved. Neither of us are the same person that we knew before, and that's okay. It's not a fairytale. I don't want a fairytale. I just want to be happy." A sigh of relief rushed from her chest as she spoke, like she'd been holding her breath. "With or without him. I just want to be happy."

Lily: There's a frown on her face throughout the explanation, almost like she couldn't understand how a life could be so structured. And not even by yourself, but your parents? Her grandparents, she supposed. "So they help you, save your life, just to take over it?" Resisting the urge to make a sarcastic comment, it didn't feel entirely appropriate when she didn't actually know these people. All she did know was what Joel had told her, which wasn't actually very much or very nice, but we digress. "Do you want me to call you mom?" Lifting a brow, she's curious to know the answer. Lily had always called her mom when it came to asking Joel about her, but admittedly it was a little odd to say it to her actual face. "... Yes but what does that mean exactly? You want to try? As in, with both me and dad, or just dad, making me the unfortunate obstacle." Because if Lori didn't want her, she knew her dad wouldn't stand for it. "Yeah, three of his friends got blown up and died, no shit he isn't ok. Can't say you showing up has helped much, either." In spite of the words, the tone of it wasn't anything but calm and even a little sad. It hurt her heart seeing him up against it knowing there was very little she could do, realistically. I just want to be happy. With that last line, she sits back and slouches her shoulders. Needing just a few seconds to process everything Lori had said. In spite of being the one to ask the questions, it was still a lot to take in. "Well when you put it like that it makes it really hard to be angry with you. Your rational behaviour and logical words is really stomping all over my fury," shooting her a pointed glare, as if that was a bother to her, there's the faintest of smiles that ghosts her lips. "I'm sorry that's a struggle for you." Lily says quietly, ( happiness, that was. ) "And I don't know if you'll find it here, maybe, maybe not... You're brave to try." She decides. It's clear in her features that she isn't holding the same attitude she had upon arriving. Now all she felt was a little bit sad, a little bit confused about what now, but mostly? It was just sinking in for her that she was sitting opposite her mother. "I understand what happened to you, why you acted how you did and... Why you left. I mean, it sucks, but I understand... It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry help came too late for you." It felt necessary to say, she wasn't sure why, maybe it was her way of letting her know that she's forgiven. "I'm studying neuroscience, so..." She shrugs, letting on that actually, she was well versed in matters of the brain. "You're sticking around then? For real? Because... This is gonna be your one shot, you know? Second chances can be deserved but third chances don't fly here."

Lori: "Well when you say it like that it sounds crazy. Which I guess it kind of is, but it's also complicated." Lori's relationship with her parents was a story for another time, perhaps one that required something a little stronger than a milkshake. She mirrored Lily's raised brow. "I mean — of course that would be nice, but I guess it's a little odd since I don't really feel like a mom. Do you want to call me mom?" Sure, she was in fact her mom, but being vacant for eighteen years of your daughter's life didn't exactly measure up to being called as much. "With both of you, yes. I might not know where to start, or what the hell I'm doing, really — but I want to try. I want to get to know you, and your dad again. But only if that's okay with you. I don't want to overstep." she assured her with a small, slightly nervous smile. There was no point trying to beat around the bush. She wasn't going to get anywhere if she didn't just lay it all out on the table. "Well, yeah — bad timing on my part." she admitted with a light shrug. She wasn't blind to the fact that she'd just thrown herself and Joel straight in at the deep end. Maybe she could've thought it through a little more, or dipped her toe in the water before diving straight in, but she just didn't. It was all or nothing. "It's okay. I'll take whatever slither of it I can get. Even if that's just seeing your face right now." she nodded, flashing Lily a hint of a smile. "I'm glad you understand. Makes this a whole lot easier for me if I don't have to keep explaining it and reliving it." Lori blew out a quiet, slightly relieved sigh. "I am. I guess I better make it count then, huh?" she raised a brow again, taking a long sip of her milkshake as she took a moment to really just look at her daughter. "So, neuroscience? Smart and pretty, I see. You're welcome for that."

Lily: "Is it? Because it seems pretty simple to me. They hold themselves to a standard they expect you to follow and you do because it's the only way to keep the peace." Raising an amused brow, she was admittedly pulling such a conclusion with aid of the things she knew about her parents from Joel. "Well... I've always called you mom. When me and dad would talk about you, he would say mom, not Lori - so it's not as weird for me as you might think. It's just a little bit... odd? I guess, to say it to your face. But then, Lori feels odd too," Pausing to scratch the side of her head, she shrugs. "Maybe... I can just fluctuate between the two until naturally, one takes over." Lily nods, quick to pick up her beer and take a decent couple of gulps. "This last year hasn't had a lot of good timing to be honest." At least that was her view - when the club suffered, so did her dad. "No.. You don't have to do that with me," shaking her head, she wanted her mom to know she wasn't expecting her to relive her traumas and mistakes, not when the general overview of them spoke enough to know she could look past it. "Oh," snorting out a genuine laugh, she grinned over at her. "Getting those things from you has served me well so far, I won't lie. Thank you," she teases, glancing at her phone to see the text from her friend saying she was outside. "I gotta go. I was supposed to be outside ages ago but - well, I spotted you and impulse took over." Lily shrugs, noticing her jacket but deciding, purposely, that she would leave it there with Lori. "Can I have your number? I would like to meet up with you again, properly?" There's a coy smile as she opens her phone on the keypad and holds it out to her before standing up. Heart still racing, she takes a deep breath and waits for her phone. "Okay well, I'll.. see you." Sheepishly smiling, she turns to walk away only to pause a few feet away. Turning her head back, she contemplates what she wants to say, wondering if it was wise, even though she was going to say it either way. "There hasn't been anyone else for him... He still loves you." Blue eyes soften with a little worry, not truly knowing what Lori would do with that information. "He's got this tattoo," raising her left arm, "Ask him about it when you see him again, yeah?" A hint of mischief sparks in her eyes as she backs up and now walks out of sight.

[[ END ]]

[badpancakelol]

The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting, Chapter 9: DIFFERENT

“You’re different.”

It’s said exactly two weeks and three days from when he normally resets the loop. Steve doesn’t know what’s changed, what has become different, in that amount of time, but as he sits in the Hopper cabin, El blindfolded front of him, TV playing static, she speaks.

Maybe it’s because she saw him hug Hopper. Saw them cry and thank each other, holding on to the little amount of normalcy that existed. He’s been trying to talk to her, properly try and figure out what had happened. 

She’s staring at him. Steve’s sat on the couch in the living room, and El was sat on the floor. Her eyes trail across his face, searching and finding the world weariness, the phantom age that he knows he doesn’t show on his face, the injuries that he knows he does. 

“We lose, don’t we?” She said, both questioning and not. 

Steve doesn’t answer, doesn’t know how to possibly answer that question, because things have only just started to turn back to normal for her. All this time hasn’t made him good with words, so he just slips down onto the floor and rests his hands on her shoulders.

El cries. As they sit there in the barely put together cabin, sunlight leaking through the roof, she weeps. She cries and she cries, and Steve holds her, for as long as she needs it. He has so many questions to ask her, to try and fix things, to try and understand. But, for now, he thinks that the comfort is more important.

— — —

Steve and Robin stay over at the Hopper cabin, one night, to explain everything to El, to try and brainstorm and learn how to fix things. 

“I’m stuck in a time loop.”

“A what?”

“It’s like,” Steve tries to think. How is he meant to explain what’s been happening to him in a child-friendly way that still communicates what he’s actually been through? Robin gestures towards his watch, and he thinks he gets the ideas. He takes it off, shuffles closer to El so that she can see the face clearly.

“You see this hand moving? Yeah, the big one.” He turns the dial on the side of his watch until the big hand reaches back around to where it started. “That’s how we normally go through things, right?”

“Okay.” El nods.

Steve twists the dial the other way, watches as the hand moves backwards. “Now, this is how time moves for me, when I die. Backwards. 

Robin chimes in, “El, you see the little hand? That would be us. It moves back into place as well.”

“And that’s how this happened?” El points to his neck, his forehead, his fingers.

“Yes.”

“I saw you.” She says. “In your head. You were hurt.”

Robin makes a confused face, eyebrows scrunched and head tilted, but Steve hopes that she didn’t see the deaths. He pleads against all else that she didn’t see the three weeks  after, or Max. 

“Is that why you said I was ‘different’?”

“You are different.” El frowns. She makes an aborted movement to reach her hand out towards his neck. There’s more that she wants to say, Steve knows it. Her hands fall to her lap, and the watch is placed back on his wrist, and the conversation ends.

— — —

Hopper lets him sleep on the couch for the next couple of weeks. Robin makes the trek every morning, opting to stay with Vickie for the meantime. He doesn’t question when he wakes up in the morning to Steve making pancakes, or when the lights are kept on at night. They have to shift by each other in the hallways, cramped and close, and it feels more like a home than the Harrington Household ever has.

When the (not former anymore) Chief goes to work, he and El brainstorm. 

She wants to know everything that happens, tries to help out how Robin did. But Steve is wary in telling her particular things: about turning Hopper’s weapon on himself, or Robin covered bat carcasses, staring straight ahead, unseeing. He decidedly does not tell her about shouting into the void about the future, or what happens when a gate closes on your own body.

“You haven’t met him yet, but you are gonna love Eddie.” Steve decides to tell her about the good, instead. And if Robin is giving him a certain stare, eyebrow raised, he choses to ignore it. “He played dnd with Mike, and he had all these cool tattoos—”

“Like me?” El’s pointing towards her wrist, tapping it with two fingers. She says it with such earnest inquisition that it breaks his heart a little bit. For a second he’s reminded of the sickly fluorescent lights of the hospital, dull-sharp sounds of his own voice failing.

“He choses them himself. Eddie once told me that he actually designed some of them himself.”

The kid’s eyes have lit up and she’s rushing back to her bedroom in a flash before she’s reappeared with a notebook. She flips through the pages, landing on the thing she wants to show Steve, and shoves the paper under his nose. Robin has leaned over Steve, draping herself over his shoulder to get a better look at it.

It’s a drawing of a girl. She has one hand on her hip, the other raised in a fist in the air. It’s just a little stick figure drawing, messily scrawled onto the underside of what Steve thinks is a letter, but by the billowing cape behind her, he knows exactly who this is meant to be.

“A superhero.” He says. Steve knows what she thought of herself, heard the story from Will as he asked for advice. When El breaks out into a toothy grin, he hopes that she’s changed her mind.

— — —

“They did what?” 

Steve decides that most children suck. El tells him about California, and how she had been arrested and then transferred to Project Nina, how she had learnt about Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One. She tells Steve about what had happened in Max’s mind, how Brenner was dead. El tells him the number that Owens had phoned on, and Steve all but shouts because this is what he’s been waiting for.

And through all of that, El seemed fine. She talked about the horrors of the experimentation, or remembering, or living through her years in the Hawkins Lab again. She says it all with a straight face, stating what had happened as fact. 

What seems to get her, though, is the mention of one girl: Angela. 

“I hit her face with a roller-skate.”

“Good!” Robin says. She lifts her hand up in the air, and El looks at it for a moment, before a toothy grin breaks out on her face and she’s jumping to slap Rob’s hand with her own.

Steve has been pacing around the room as El recounted her story of Angela and the way that they had lead her onto the rink, humiliated and bullied her. “You did everything right, El. You asked her to apologise, but she didn’t. I’m sure Hop would agree with me here.”

El turns to him, standing next to Robin on the other side of the room. Her face turns so that she’s looking anywhere but his face, and he’s reminded of how he’d react when he was in trouble with his father. 

“You…have told him. Right, El?”

She shakes her head. 

“I’m just gonna,” Steve points his thumb behind him to the door. “I will be right back.”

See, the good thing about the loops, is that Steve can say that he’s been cigarette-free for a good couple years. He hasn’t really had the time (as ironic as it is) to sit around and smoke. But as El talks about her past week, he thinks he deserves it.

— — —

Steve tells them about the start of the loop: the importance that he thinks it holds. They compile a plan surrounding it, using the bits and pieces that Steve has, sewing them together in a collaged mess with El’s. Robin simplifies it, makes it easier to remember, before Steve is marking it into his memory.

Convince the kids to run before the cops come.

Make sure one of them calls Owens and tells him what’s happening.

Go through the gate with Eddie, Robin and Nancy.

Wait until El gets to Hawkins.

“We’re gonna need to be able to convince Dustin.” Steve says. “Kid barely listens to me when I have evidence — there’s no way that he’d just believe me.”

“Then we call him now. Try and set something up for when you reset.”

— — —

“Is this some kind of joke?”

Steve, for what feels like the millionth time, decides that Robin is godsend. She believe him so sparingly, so easily, every loop, and he can’t begin to think how much longer he would have spent if she didn’t put her trust in him as soon as he opened his mouth.

Dustin freaks out (understandably). Robin, El and Steve are huddled around a walkie as they sit in the middle of Hopper’s living room. As the kid’s static-y voice filters through the device, Steve feels a fond exasperation at the suspicion in Dustin’s voice.

“Not a joke, trust me. And if it is, I’m the one getting the short end of the stick.” Steve says. “Look, it doesn’t matter if you believe me now. I just need to know if there was something that I could say or do to convince you when I… reset.”

El nods, adding, “Friends don’t lie.”

There’s a pause as Robin leans her back against the couch, feet crossed in front of her. El is staring pointedly at the radio, as if she can magic up a solution (Steve wouldn’t put it past her. If he gets time looping, and she already has mind-move-y powers, he wouldn’t be surprised if she could create a solution out of thin air).

“Dustin?”

“I’m thinking!” Steve taps his fingers against his thighs, leg moving in place as he waits. “Just, speak how you were speaking now.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know! You sound… tired. Older. It’s not— even when Max was lifting up into the air, you had this, lightness about you. I’ve been trying to search for it ever since you came back through the gate, but.”

Robin has shifted closer, hand resting on his back. She rubs small circles into his shoulder blade, and he can feel the cool angles of her rings give a slight pressure as she does. El has stopped staring at the walkie, and is instead staring at the pale crescent near his hairline. 

Steve wants to cry. He’s lost so much time in this repeating cycle, and sometimes he forgets that he isn’t invincible. There’s a dampness to his eyelashes as he blinks it all away, wills his past-future deaths to be still, if only for a moment. Speak like he does now. With authority. With Exhaustion. With hope.

(It won’t be enough, and he knows it. It never is).

“Dustin, I don’t think that that’s going to work.” Robin’s hand on his shoulder feels like an anchor. After all of this is over, he’s never going to stop telling her how much he loves her.

“Then just tell me something that happens in the next thirty seconds as you start your loop. There literally isn’t anything more convincing than predicting the future.”

“Steve doesn’t have thirty second to spare.” Robin says.

It feels as if time is moving thick in the air, everyone paused and frozen in this moment. El has adopted Steve’s habits, fingers drumming against her legs as she frowns and tilts her head. Robin’s hands are clutched around the walkie as if it’s the only thing to save her. Steve decides that it might as well be.

It feels useless. The loop is slowly dying, bursting at the seams of stress and the fatal projections of failure, with no one left to believe him. Steve shifts his legs underneath him, tries to get comfortable, and he’s reminded of the newfound crookedness to his limbs that makes him want to cry. 

It hurts. But he is so close.

“What if Steve tells you something that he couldn’t possibly know? There has to be something that would be impossible for him to know?” Robin is frantic in her speech, time moving normally.

There’s a moment of static that Steve recognises as Dustin thinking. “In 1983 I offered Nancy a slice of sausage and pepperoni pizza while she was on the phone with her friend.”

Between the exhaustion and the relief, there’s a laugh and a cry. Sitting next to Robin and El, huddled in Hopper’s cabin, it feels safe. Before Will had been taken, and Barb had died, and being beaten and tortured. In the mundane before, Dustin had offered Nancy a slice of pizza.

— — —

Hopper find them asleep on the couch. Steve wakes almost immediately — the sound of the door opening jump starting his brain as he watches Hop hang his hat on the hooks by the door. The man doesn’t say anything, but takes one look at the way that they’re huddled, El tucked into his arms, uncomfortably squeezed together in front of the TV, and joins them.

There’s more sharp edges and limbs than Hopper used to have, Steve thinks, but there is still something so warm about the way that he crosses the room and drapes a blanket over them. And maybe, when Hop looks into his sleep bleary eyes, owl-blind in early sun, he sees something older, something different.

Steve knows that in the morning he’ll be slipping back to his own house — the pool calling and yearning for him to slip under. As Hopper exits the room, closing the door with a softness that Steve has never known, he makes a promise, to no one and everyone.

“I am going to fix this.”

[tictac-murder-spaghetti]

Finally got this working! I wrote this in October for Whumptober Day 2, and it's some good old Strychnine whump and hurt/comfort! This obviously happens after their friendship is fairly well established! As I post more I'll get an actual timeline going.

Content Warnings: Implied lab whump, implied (past) child abuse, nightmares, muzzles, dehumanization, minor horror elements, cages, nonhuman whump (he's made of goo???) Writing under the cut!

Strychnine was in the alley. Really, he had been in many alleys throughout his life, for various reasons, but tonight he had no idea why he was here. He pushed himself into a standing position, brushing the dust off his pants as he looked around, absolutely confused. How the hell had he gotten into an alley at night, just sitting on the ground? He didn’t seem hurt, besides the growling prickles of terror at the back of his neck. The stars sparkled above him, but he couldn’t seem to see the end of the alley in either direction, a feeling of cold dread washing over him. Strychnine began to run. As he did, the terror really kicked in, his heart pounding as if he was being chased, but he couldn’t see anything behind him besides the dark void of the alley and the same in front of him.

“Clunk!” Something hard and metal made contact with his knees, causing him to tumble to the ground with a cry of surprise. He tried to push himself back up, see what he had run into, but before he could he felt cold metal clamp around his neck and push his body back down onto the cobblestones. He’d seen this weapon before, he knew the man who wielded it, his best friend.

“Ambrose?” “Oh? How’d you guess it?” Strychnine had never heard his voice with such a chilling tone to it, full of malice. “Ambrose, what are you doing? Why am I here?” “Strychnine, don’t you really think it’s high time the ruse is up? That’s why you’re here. As for what I am doing, I’m doing my job. I’m arresting you.” “What?!” Strychnine was beginning to panic again, trying to figure out if there was any way for him to worm his way out of the clutches of the man catcher. Noticing his struggles, Ambrose leaned on the handle almost nonchalantly, pushing the metal band farther against Strychnine’s throat. “Ambrose, we’re friends!” “Strychnine, I’d never be friends with a criminal! And even worse, a monster! That’s what you are, Strychnine.” “What? No- no Ambrose, don’t say that. I thought we were friends.” Ambrose hadn’t said that, he couldn’t. Strychnine wasn’t a monster. He tried too hard to convince himself he wasn’t a monster, Ambrose knew that, Ambrose wouldn’t accuse him of that. The crimes? Yes, he’d committed crimes, he knew that, he was a criminal, but a monster? No, no.

Ambrose, or the thing that looked like Ambrose (Strychnine couldn’t believe Ambrose would say that to him, he couldn’t) noticed his distress, the condescending smile on his face widening, “Yes Strychnine, you thought. That’s the keyword there buddy.” “But- we hung out! You let me into your house, we did things together, we worked together!” “You broke into my house. You’re a wanted criminal, what you think I’m just going to kick you out of my house when you could kill me? Now I know you wouldn’t, you’re too weak for that, but I just went along with it. What would you do? If a little criminal bastard started following you around and wouldn’t leave you alone? I couldn’t call the rest of the police, they’d be much too suspicious of why I hadn’t taken you in in the first place.” Tears stared to well in Strychnine’s eyes, black and goopy- unnatural, but he still wasn’t a monster. Biologically different from every other mortal? Yeah, but he-he still wasn’t a monster, even if he had black radioactive goo running down his face instead of tears. “Then- what are you going to do?” He sniffled, “You said you were going to arrest me.” “Well… I am. But since I can’t bring you to jail, I know someone else who’ll take care of you. She really wants you back, you know.” Strychnine's eyes widened in fear as a mean smirk crossed Ambrose's face. “No- No Ambrose!! I’ll turn myself in, please don’t, please.” He pleaded, eyes wide, how-how could Ambrose have known? He never told him about his past, he’d considered him a friend, yes, but Strychnine couldn’t even think about what he’d gone through most of the time, and definitely couldn’t talk about it to anyone else. Ambrose released the mancatcher and Strychnine tried to make a desperate lunge away from him, but he reached out and grabbed Strychnine by the back of his shirt, painfully yanking him back and dragging the smaller man across the cobblestones. Strychnine struggled, trying to get out of Ambrose’s grip, but he wouldn’t let go no matter how much Strychnine rolled or flailed, making the dragging all the much more uncomfortable. Since he wasn’t restrained, Strychnine looked down at his gloves, considering. He could get out of here, just slip his gloves off, grab Ambrose around the ankle and Strychnine would be out. And Ambrose would be missing a foot. Even if he was mistreating him, the thought made Strychnine sick. He would have been a monster if he’d done that. He couldn’t. He told himself he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that after- her. She was the last person he’d done that to and he was going to keep it that way.

Instead he twisted around and grabbed Ambrose’s trenchcoat, trying to drag the taller man down. Ambrose swiveled around, roughly yanking the hem of his coat out of Strychnine’s grasp before letting go of his shirt and dropping him. Strychnine’s head painfully smacked against the cobblestones, letting out a wheeze of surprise. Dazed, he was helpless to even try to run again before Ambrose once again grabbed the back of his shirt and continued to drag him. The alley just kept stretching on, Strychnine’s vision blurring as his head rang, he was normally quite tolerant of pain but tonight... it hurt so bad. All he could see was dark stone wall after dark stone wall, feeling like they were falling in on top of the two of them. He clutched his head in his hands, just trying to get the pain, the tears, anything to stop, but it wouldn’t. He tried to dig his boots into the stones, slow Ambrose down, all he wanted was this hellish nightmare to stop, for this friend to be his friend again. The movement stopped. He tried to twist around, see if he could see what caused Ambrose to stop, but he couldn’t see Ambrose anymore. He couldn’t see anything anymore, just black void above and below him. And he fell.

Strychnine hesitantly opened an eye, and immediately regretted it. It was her- well, her legs, as he couldn’t see the rest from where he sat on the floor. His “mother”, the woman who had created him, and the very last woman he’d ever wanted to see. He scampered back, feeling cold metal underneath him, but he didn’t get far before cold metal pushed into his back as well-bars. He was in a cage. He was in a fucking cage. He looked down at his wrists and while his gloves were still on he couldn’t get them off, his only way to fight back taken from him by a thin strip of metal wound around each wrist, pinning his gloves to his body. He started to breathe fast, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“I really appreciate your friend here bringing you back to me #07. I missed you so much.” She kneeled down to look at him through the bars of the cage, a cruel smile on her face, sparks buzzing between her horns, showing that she was truly more happy to see him again then her voice betrayed, but Strychnine didn’t really like her view of “happy”. He watched as Ambrose passed the cage as well, his “mother” standing back up to meet him. “Really sir, thank you. My son here has been quite the menace, and after I lost him so many years ago I thought I’d never get him back. He’ll be… properly dealt with.” “Good,” Ambrose spat, with more hatred in his voice then he’d ever heard, “That's what it deserves.”

Hearing his friend- his best friend say something like that about him, he had to ask why, Ambrose why? All that came out was a pitiful whimper, as he couldn’t open his mouth fully, only now realizing part of his ringing headache was the straps tightened around his head holding a muzzle in place. His “mother” had muzzled him and thrown him into a cage like he was some sort of wild animal or… like he was a monster. He grabbed at the strap, trying to find the buckle but fumbling as his hands shook. “Oh #07, I’m so sorry I had to do that,” She leaned down again, “I was just worried you’d react like this. Last time you got angry with me you did this-'' She rolled up one of the sleeves of her lab coat and Strychnine saw the full extent of what he’d done as a child… but something was wrong, her arm was covered in deep gouges and chemical burn scars, but they still dripped with black goo just like his own hands. She reached into the cage, Strychnine desperately trying to back away from her grasp but being stopped by how small the cage was. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragging him towards the front of the cage and holding him in place.

“I didn’t want you doing that again when we continued where we left off-” she poked him hard in the chest, right above his heart, “Such a shame the experiment had to be delayed so long. In the last 19 years I’ve made plenty of advancements, but I kept everything how it was back then just for you.” She pulled him up to the bars of the cage again, pushing his face against them as she hissed in his ear. “I’m not letting you ruin this, or me, ever again.” The black goo started to run down her face, dark tears burning through the flesh of her face. She dropped him as more black dripped down her face, her scarred arm. Even Ambrose, who had been coldly watching him from the side of the room started to melt, black dripping out his eyes and the sleeves of his coat. Strychnine gasped in horror, scrambling back once again trying to get away from the horrific forms of his “mother” and best friend. He curled into a little ball, tears pouring from his own eyes as he tried to pretend this isn't happening. It couldn’t be happening. He tugged at the muzzle more, maybe if he could get it off- maybe if he could just scream it’d all be better. But anything would be better, anything would be better than this, prison would be better than this, he just wanted out- he wanted out- please, please could it just stop-

------------------------------

Strychnine woke up in his bed. His heart still pounded, his pillow and cheeks both still wet with black goopy tears. Just like- no. He rolled over, staring up at his ceiling. It was just a nightmare. It hadn’t happened, though the way his gloved hands were clutching the sheets and the tears wouldn’t stop coming told him the fear was so very, very real. He wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. Strychnine swung his legs off the bed before he stood up, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He slowly made his way to the window before cracking it open and stepping out onto the roof.

Ambrose woke with a start, looking around wildly, trying to find out where the assailant was coming from, trying to figure out who was breaking into his bedroom. That was until his eyes landed on Strychnine, crouched on his windowsill, eyes glowing yellow in the dark. Normally he’d just shoo the other man away like he was some sort of feral cat or a raccoon, it was the middle of the damn night after all, but something was wrong. Strychnine was usually so smiley, even when he was being an annoying little menace, but he wasn’t now. Black lines ran down his face from his eyes, looking like tear tracks, if tears could stain black. He got out of bed, throwing a robe over his shoulders before cracking open the window.

“Strych-” He was cut off as Strychnine barreled through the window as fast as he could, the smaller man wrapping his arms around Ambrose’s waist in a hug. Ambrose was a little shocked, but put his hands on Strychnine’s shoulders in a supportive gesture. Strychnine was shaking. “Strychnine, what’s wrong?” “Ambrose, I’m not a monster, right?” “What? I mean, you’re weird but you’re not a monster. What happened Strych?”

He held the smaller man close to him as he sniffled, trying to take a deep breath. Ambrose led him over to the couch in his bedroom, sitting down besides Strychnine. Strychnine was in his pajamas but still had his gloves on, Ambrose wondered if he ever took them off. “I-I had a nightmare. You were in it. You… said some horrible stuff. And I could kind of tell it wasn’t you… something felt so wrong, but it still hurt. Then some stuff from my past came up-” Tears started welling in his eyes again, “And it was scary. So-so scary. And dehumanizing, and just… it was bad. I thought I’d forgotten those things but… I hadn’t.” Ambrose pulled Strychnine into a side hug, “I’m sorry Strychnine. You don’t need to tell me what happened, if you don’t want to. But I’ll assure you, I am your friend. And I don’t know what nightmare Ambrose told you, and I don’t need to know, but hey, I’d go and get him for you. And you’re not a monster.” Strychnine sniffled, “You suck at fighting though.” A slight smile crossed Ambrose's face, “Hey, if I had to fight myself but meaner I think I’d win still. We’d both suck.” Ambrose gently grabbed Strychnine’s gloved hands with his own, “Like I said, you’re a bit… odd, but you’re not a monster. And the weirdness is what makes you fun, anyway. Who knows if we’d be friends if I didn’t find your weirdness so endearing but I do. And we are.” “Thank you Ambrose. I feel kind of bad, I just broke into your house and woke you up in the middle of the night, but could you just sit with me for a little bit longer? I’ll go back home but I just- I need to sit for a bit and it’s better to have company.” “No problem buddy.” Ambrose sat with Strychnine for a while, until the smaller guy's breath began to slow and Strychnine fell asleep again, slumped over on the couch. Ambrose carefully got up so he wouldn’t wake him and tossed a blanket over his best friend before yawning. The sun wouldn’t come up for a few more hours, and he was tired, but he didn’t want to disturb Strychnine. Another night sleeping in his office wouldn’t hurt. He hoped Strychnine wouldn’t have another nightmare but even if he did, Ambrose would be around this time. And real Ambrose would be there for him, since really Strychnine wasn’t a monster, he was his best friend.

Taglist @a-crumb-of-whump (Please ask to be added or removed!)

[fettery-fetterie]

Have you tried talking with someone who's fixated on a puzzle

A clear sky day, the sun shines through the window behind the desk Teorija is sitting on, pieces of all shapes and forms covering it.

With her hands over and closed eyes, she waited until something changed

Suddenly, a shift in the air. And in front of her, sitting in the couch, was the one she had waited for.

- What a miracle that you come here.

- Can't a man simply visit his company every once in a while.

- Not for a meeting.

- Figured.

- Well, what do you what? Surely you didn't come here for chit-chat - Said Teorija as she began piecing the shards together.

- I was wondering about the terms and conditions.

- Of our contract?

- Yeah - The purple-teared one sat down on the couch in front of his business partner, closing his umbrella in the process.

-

-

[ohhhh whooppssss]

- Why are you so focused with that puzzle, anyways.

- It's not a puzzle, it's a broken glass window.

As she said, she placed the final piece at the center, thus finishing the puzzle. The cracks adorning it were slowly being repaired, as a sparkle of light ran through them.

Once finished, Teorija lifted the window onto the air and stared at it.

- Reports say It's "a window to the deepest corners of oneself", y'know, the usual. - said as she slowly placed it in front of herself, aligning it perfectly to frame her partner.

- Surely it must have a catch, right?

- Probably, they found this when it was already broken, and just now I managed to get it on my hands.

- Hm...so, what do you see?

- Oh, I can't really see anything.

She focused as much as she could, but the view was simply that of darkness, one could say she was merely holding a piece of the void itself.

And then, a violent shattering sound surrounded the room; alongside it, the glass broke down once again.

Both stood frozen for a good minute, then the shorter one went running to see the window behind his partner.

- Shit. Shit. Shit. Do you think- ah- Ah? - as he looked, he realized there were no shards, in fact, one could say the glass looked as polished and uniform as ever.

He then quickly turned to see if everything was alright with Tortino, she didn't say a word after all.

Once reached the desk, he realized how anxious she looked, sweat and tremors were all over her.

- Tortino. Tortino. TEO! - he shaked her as he called her name.

- Ah-! ah- ahh.... - snapping back to reality, she sighed in relief. - Dude. That was....oh god.

- What the hell happened? You were just sitting there no prob-

- ...I found the catch.

- Huh?! Oh- fuck me. Is it-

- Nah, just a breakdown. A mind-shatter, if you will.

He couldn't do nothing but sigh, rest assured, it was not a mirror.

Both stayed in place, trying to come with a couple conclusions.

- ...Do you think it'll affect the entire company?

- If we're lucky enough, it should've been just me. I'll call an emergency meeting just in case, though.

- If nobody has called you directly I don't think-

- If they're frozen as I was they will not. Meeting's over - Teorija said before storming out of the office.

Now left alone, Peka started thinking about the glass, as it's specially weird when you can see hundreds of pieces scattered, but never truly there.

Should he report it, should he say nothing? He didn't want to drag this for much longer.

- Mind-shatters...mind shatter, it's always those. How many does this damned place have?

As he finished, he began to open his umbrella and pass through it, leaving the office empty.

[e1igius]

there's lines that are meant to remain uncrossed , as in , things that are meant to be kept secret. relationships between people was one of those things , huckleberry had long accepted that he was no one to everyone he meant. that his presence in the lives of his so called friends was nothing more than a hole for them counteract the boredom that would otherwise fill an empty void in their current schedule. he is not the first choice for any of the people he interacts with , though he understands he shouldn't be ( or the understanding is supposed to exist - though huckleberry himself lacks in comprehending his own logic at times ). he's a convenience , a usefull tool , and at times , a fun time. and nothing more. and while he enjoys being that for most people... eventually , it gets lonely.

it's why prickles , the little cactus that sits on his kitchen island , is the only thing he turely calls a friend. everyone else , is just people he knows. after all. how long he's going to be allowed to be in their lives is an ever changing cause of the government's leniency , or whenever they get bored of him. the two blondes hadn't really done anything that day... all he remembers is helping her with some groceries and then decapitating a dude. and somehow they'd ended up in the bed of his truck again ( which they seem to end up in quite often if he's being perfectly honest ). he has blankets thrown over the pair off them as they sit in some abandoned parking lot at three in the morning , and everything seems up to par , chowing down on some jack in the box , when... she speaks.

the i love you gets caught up between confused thoughts. eyes brighten with a flush of confusion , blue dancing across to meet hers. staring , he hasn't heard those words in years. let alone... believe them. the last time someone had said those words , he was sitting in the field , a pair of large brown eyes bright with adrenaline staring back at him. ramirez had last said the words to him , he missed that boy every day of his life. often blamed himself for the death of his best friend. it was horrible , to think that one one form this original squad of men had managed to make it much further in life. if they weren't stuck in the corps , they were dead or ( as huck would often say jokingly ) a dead-man walking. huckleberry had made it out so to speak , in all senses of what they'd talked about while he was still in and yet. without ramirez , it had felt that the real huckleberry had died that very same day.

so maybe that's why he doesn't say it back , he can't not really , he's never told anyone that he loves them after that point in time. and yet. he can't. maybe it's because he doesn't. he doesn't love anyone or anything in this world anymore. not even himself , but as he stares at julie it feels wrong to tell her that after the confession. so he sits up a little straighter. and takes her hands in his own , tracing a circle around her palms as the sit face up in his hands. ❝ oh jules , ❞ his voice is soft and kind , but not sweet or caring , as if he's already ripped of the bandage he's starting to pry at. ❝ you don't love me , you don't even know my middle name. you love some twisted idea of me. and that ain't right dalrin' , it ain't good for you to be fixing up some idea in your head like that. ❞

yeah that sounded much better. than , i don't love you. ( not like that ).

@ripjulie sent "...I love you."

[sweethartlullaby]

hanahaki alternate ending

word count: 1.7k warnings: mentions of death genre: angst link to hanahaki sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

the alternative ending

You opted for the surgery even though you would lose feelings for him, he encouraged you to take the surgery, because he knew it would be the best for you. You didn’t make him promise anything so you weren’t supposed to be surprised that he wasn’t there when you woke up from the anaesthesia. Your roommate was the one that came to support you until you were able to get on your feet again. You were sad nevertheless, but you realized this wouldn’t compare to the depression without the surgery.  However, there was a flaw and your memory got altered. You took some time to remember some parts of your life and they told you about the boy who you took the surgery for but it was a very subtle description. They told you his name, but that was it and somehow it was enough to fill the void you began to feel in your heart. 

It had been years since then, a decade maybe? You were going down the stairs of the church, right after your roommate’s wedding. Yes, she did find her “one” and it made you think for a moment. Would you ever find yours? 

maybe one day when the sun is bright we will meet again

The quiet breeze and the silent streets with only your footsteps echoing had a certain calm to them and it made you want to stay in that moment forever. Everything felt so perfect, so right. Life finally felt right after all this time. 

You didn’t fall for anyone after him, whoever he was, and you were more than grateful for that. You weren’t scared of being alone, but rather of being lonely. But at the same time, you didn’t want to waste all those emotions on someone else and go through all of it again. 

You stopped your steps, pausing on the empty pavement and looking up at the sky for a moment. Maybe there was “the one” but you wouldn’t bet on it. You sighed and looked down again to continue walking. 

when the time is right i’ll see your face again

You didn’t know how long you walked and how you even ended up at the park but it wasn’t like you minded that your footsteps were wandering on their own either. You had time, so you took a seat on one of the dry benches and watched the sky thoughtfully and the horizon in front of you. 

You thought of many things, your dinner, your plans for tomorrow, and even him. He was always in your head, just in a small corner in your mind and just sitting there. Yes, you thought of him, but you didn’t like him anymore, not in the way that would get you killed. Yet you thought about how he was doing and if he was taking good care of himself. You still wondered about why he left you when he didn’t have to and why he didn’t think twice about doing so. It was during these silent moments that you thought about your mysterious lover and you wondered about every possible thing. You barely remembered anything that happened. Sometimes, you saw him in your dreams, but it was all a blur. 

how do you miss someone you don’t remember?

You relished the short and sweet silence until you suddenly heard your name called by a familiar voice. You thought that you were crazy for a second, but then you felt the tap on your shoulder and it brought you back to reality. You turned around quickly, eager to see who it was.

A man was standing in front of you. He wore a suit and he looked tidy. But everything else about him said otherwise. He had chapped lips and dry skin and you wondered for a second why all of it looked so similar. He looked so lost and his eyes looked empty as they stared into your orbs. You wanted to say something, but you felt at a loss of words yourself. Who was he? You had no idea. 

His hand that reached out to you was still hanging mid-air. You looked closely and noticed the over-bitten nails and the faded blood stains on his fingertips. Your gaze went back up to his face and you felt as if you had seen him before, on some billboard or poster or an old picture. You stood on your feet slowly as he gazed at you watchfully.

time will be kinder to us, i promise it will

“Hi,” You cracked a small smile at him, unsure of what to say at all. 

“Do...you not remember?” He croaked out and you felt like running to the closest supermarket to get him some water. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t…quite understand what you’re talking about. Maybe you got the wrong person.” You were ready to pack your things to leave, but some part of you wanted to stay. He looked so fond and all you wanted to do was help him.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You slightly raised an eyebrow at him. Should you help him? He looked so tired as if he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. 

“Should...I remember?” You said slowly. Curiosity was chewing down on you as you peeked at him. He had his head down but you saw something shimmer on his face. A tear was sliding down his cheek.

“No, it’s nothing. Please don’t worry about it.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked back up to you. With his lips parted as clouds of breath escaped his mouth and his glimmering eyes from the tears, he looked so broken. Even though you had no idea who he was, you felt as if you had been with him your entire life. What was this feeling?

“I just thought you were someone else, I apologize.” He nodded and slightly bowed to you. You were so startled at his behaviour that you could only stand still as you watched him. 

you’ll be mine, and i’ll be yours

“I know this is a strange request,” He started as he straightened himself.

“But may I hug you?” 

It took a moment but you obliged, unsure of what made you do so. You nodded then he reached out for you before engulfing you in a hug. The way it made you feel was comfortable and safe. You were so overwhelmed you didn’t even realize the tears in your eyes. You felt so whole all of a sudden as if everything else that had happened before no longer mattered. It felt as if you had found everything you wanted.

When you pulled away, you got a closer look at his complete face and it was enough to understand, enough to realize. 

He had hanahaki. 

i’m still waiting so don’t leave

You wanted to ask but you didn’t mean to be rude so you just smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. 

“Hang on, it gets better okay?” 

And he cried. 

He just broke down in front of you, collapsing on your shoulder and letting his tears fall. He sobbed out loudly and your heart broke hearing him like this, even though he was a stranger. You could only hold onto him as he freely cried on your shoulder in the park in the middle of an otherwise beautiful day. 

You two stayed like that for a while, not saying anything. You just stroked his back and made sure he felt a little piece of comfort in your arms, and to give him solace in this awful time for him. 

hang on my dear, the sun will shine on us again

When he stood back up, it was when you realized how numb the rest of your body was. It felt like such a short time and seeing the tears still fresh on his cheeks made you want to hold him all over again. 

“I hope you feel better soon.” You chirped and when he didn’t say anything, you reached out and held his face looking at him deeply with your own eyes.

“Thank you.” He whispered and he somehow leaned into your palm. 

“It does get better and I hope you will find the strength to wait.” You smiled at him again before getting up on both of your feet and taking your bag.

“It’s a beautiful day today, maybe a walk around the park would help clear your mind a little.” You suggested before smiling once more at him and then leaving the park and the familiar stranger behind. 

you would be worth every tear and every sleepless night to me

He stood on the ledge, peering over and looking down. She forgot him, and somehow she was still the kindest soul he had come across within this decade. Was it because of the surgery? He would never want to forget her, even if it meant he wouldn’t be in pain anymore. He imagined her arms again and how strong they were when they held him. He hadn’t been so vulnerable in front of someone until that day. He looked over the edge again and he sighed out. How was she doing now? They were just strangers and he was nothing but a piece of her forgotten past. 

But her, she lived every day inside of his brain and he couldn’t get her out of it. He still saw her in every street, and he still had to stop himself from running over to a silhouette that looked like hers. So even as he jumped, he apologized to her in his heart and held onto the promise she made him all those years ago. They would meet again and things would change, there wouldn’t be a disease, and there wouldn’t be fear. And when his body hit the concrete, it was still her face that lingered in his mind. 

until our stars align and we cross paths...until then my one and only

a/n: this is the alternate ending! I hope you enjoyed this and I’m sorry it’s still an angsty one :( I’ll see you guys soon! Leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed!