#and rise splinter is the best splinter because he’s an actual DAD that is called dad

[tmnt-tychou]

Hello again!!

I have another character for you!! How about Splinter?? 😄

Thanks as always!! 😊

Sorry this took me a while to get to, it's been a busy week. But I am LOVING these and thank you to everyone who submitted asks. This is the most asks I've ever received and I have greatly enjoyed this. A Tier: 90's movie Splinter: This is a rat Splinter. He is a good dad and tries his best. This man loves his sons. Also, easily the most frail of all the Splinters, but still manages to toss Shredder off a building.

2003: Another rat Splinter. This man loves his sons and also loves his father, Hamato Yoshi. He is wise, caring, and very invested in in his sons' lives.

2012: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I love this Splinter so much. I think he is my favorite thing to come out of 2012. This man is Dad Vibes so much! He loves his kids and he wants them to have the best lives he can provide. I also love that we got this massive more human-sized Splinter. Just love him all around.

B Tier: 80's cartoon Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter, he has a great design and amazing voice actor. He is calm, he is zen and fatherly. He looses points because he never calls the turtles his sons. They are always "My turtles/pupils/students." The very first time I heard Splinter call the boys his sons was in the 90's movie and it blew my little mind. (Note, I'm not sure if maybe they changed it in the last seasons where they were trying to be more like the live action movies. It's been so long, I don't remember.)

2007 Splinter: I THINK this is a Hamato Yoshi Splinter? This is a hard one for me because everything in the movie is good. I love his design, I love his VA, I love his lines and how he interacts with the turtles. But there was just something OFF about the whole of the 2007 movie and I figured it out by reading the comics that take place before the movie. In which Splinter picks Leonardo ONLY to go on this world tour for vague reasons while the others are stuck at home. Raphael is immediately hurt and angry at the blatant favoritism. Don and Mikey look like they are so used to it, they don't even argue anymore. Leo is so much the golden child in this movie it hurts me in my soul. Splinter is a terrible father, but he was fine on screen if you take the movie at face value.

C Tier: Next Mutation Splinter: I don't recall if it was ever clear if he was a ran or Hamato Yoshi. He knew Venus' dad, so maybe Hamato Yoshi? He gives off these prancy, gay dad vibes which are kind of fun and fresh for a Splinter. (He plays chess out in the park late at night with his blind boyfriend.) He doesn't do too much to parent his extremely dumbass kids. Maybe since they're 18 he's decided they are their own problem now. And while the turtle suits are pretty nice for a TV production, the rat suit is BAAAAD.

Bayverse Splinter: This one makes no sense. Any Splinter that takes out Hamato Yoshi completely really throws off the universe. Why is he so Asian coded when he has no Asian influence in his life aside from finding a book on martial arts? It's weird. Other than that, he's fine in the movies.

Rise Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I like that we got a Splinter where you can really see the depression from being turned into a rat. And you can see how the turtles turned out to be different people: Leo and Raph especially, without Splinter there to be an influence on the group dynamic. But the characterization doesn't make sense. He says he loves his boys, but he doesn't always know their names? I know this was played for laughs, but the characterization wasn't there. Also minus points for the god-awful character design. Again, I know dad-bod Splinter was played for laughs, but...we had to look at it.

Mutant Mayhem Splinter: Again, another Splinter without Hamato Yoshi that makes no sense. However, he is a GOOD dad who loves his sons and does his best to keep his family together. I love this idea that he is a shut in because he is actually scared of the surface. I do have a hard time buying he is a martial arts master from merely watching kung fu movies. And also minus points for the god-awful character design.

[sillyandquest]

I'm just sitting and wondering whose Casey Junior's sensei for the Mutant Mashup Au (created by me and @possumsarenice).

Tbh Future DaVinci would be the obvious choice, being the oldest and having really good ninja skills makes him good mentor material. In 2012 canon Leo is shown being good with kids all things considered so that would extend to DaVinci. Omg I just remembered Chloe. What if he trained the two and they grew up as siblings?

It'll be way more heart wrenching once Junior has to leave them behind and jump through the time portal. Chloe most likely died minuets before he did too, Junior probably didn't even realize and most likely never will. (Sorry Junior, but the turtle curse decrees that I must bestow the trauma)

Moving on before I ramble about that idea. Future Blue is obviously also a sensei, though in this au he'd probably teach Casey Junior how to be evasive compared to DaVinci, who'd focus more on attacks and techniques. Blue and DaVinci probably taught him together and thus, would both be called sensei. To avoid confusion, I think Junior would call DaVinci, Master, and Blue, Sensei.

We didn't get much info on future Splinter in the Rise movie so he most likely passed away. However, in the Au, both Yoshi and Lou would've been alive long enough to have met Casey Junior as a baby. They both died before Junior could remember them properly, but the turtles, O'Neil's, and Casey made sure to tell him stories about them. Junior calls them Grand Master's Yoshi and Lou.

Of course there's another way of looking at things. Maybe DaVinci died before ever even meeting Junior and is either called Master or Uncle as a sign of respect.

Future Sanzio's also a sensei candidate, like it or not he's a softie for little ones, and would totally want to teach and take care of Casey Junior. (Honestly though, Zio and Future Red act as Junior's dad's more than sensei's). I think Sanzio also wants to protect Junior because Casey was his best friend, right next to Cassandra, so the attachment was unreal.

Speaking of Future Casey, I wanna say he died midway through the invasion and spent a good portion of time being the world's best uncle. He'd definitely encourage Junior to commit as much chaos as possible. He was the one to take care of Junior most often because Junior was all he had left of Cass after she died. Even if the kid wasn't actually her's, Cass saved him for a reason and Casey'll be damned if he didn't make sure Junior lived through the apocalypse like she wanted. Casey probably died sacrificing himself to save a bunch of people, maybe alongside DaVinci.

Future Niccolo and Purple are terrifying, especially when making weapons. They always made weapons. It was a necessity honestly, but those two had a blast making things that blew up, consider it a coping mechanism for both of them. That never stopped, even after Nico transferred his soul into a robot he designed. (The fact that 2012 Donnie became a robot as an adult is canon has me very concerned. Especially since Red did the same in this Au).

As a (rather painful) note: Nico always knew he would become a robot in the end. Even if he was the second to last Hamato standing, Nico would've done everything in his power to stay alive. This is because he knows he needs his family and couldn't bear leaving them even if it meant he could live on and watch over them as a spirit alongside his father.

Of course, Future Simoni is up there reigning as best uncle, not the favorite because that honor goes to Casey. He did a lot of crazy stuff and gave the Kraang the most grief in fights. Simon wasn't the most powerful but he was the most slippery and pissed off the Kraang the most. The Kraang hated that Simon fought like it was nothing and took that as an insult to their power.

[angelmichelangelo]

fic for @deadlysoupy <3 thank u for the prompt :)

“Left foot, blue!”

Raphael’s voice carries itself loudly from the pit to where Splinter had been trying to meditate in the seclusion of his room, breaking through his spiritual wall as it had been followed by a chorus of gentle laughter and groans.

“You’re cheating– Ow!”

That’s Donatello’s voice, evident in the way that it buckles with his impending puberty, all whiney and pitchy and so, as per usual these days, it’s quickly followed by his youngest’s mocking tone, still clinging to the babyish fat that sits around the edges of his own voice, too stubborn to break just yet.

“How is it cheating?! It’s how the game works, dummy!” Raphael says sharply, quickly squashing his rising temper. There’s the sound of shuffling and then a huff of desperate air.

“Just go.” There is Leonardo, voice flat like he was instead focusing all his remaining energy on keeping upright. “I’m getting cramp here.”

A moment of silence before–

“Okay, right hand yellow.”

More groaning, and Splinter can only picture what kind of knot his boys have found themselves in; a new game he’d salvaged in the trash just days ago as a belated twelfth mutation day gift, it was evident that it was becoming a favorite between them, having spent many of their afternoons rolling out the mat and trying to out-do each other in game after game of competition.

“Ha,” his eldest barks out, his steady resolve quickly dissolving in favor of gloating. “I’m so gonna win again!”

Splinter chuckles to himself softly as he listens out to the sharp inhale of Raphael’s breath, like he was personally offended by such a statement.

“What do you mean again?” He accuses him. “If you remember, I was the one who won the last round.”

Michelangelo makes a pitiful sound, and he can only imagine that his youngest and smallest of sons was perhaps in the most compromising of spots on the games mat.

“Oh yeah?” Leonardo taunts him. “Why don’t you ask your face since it got pretty cozy with the floor during that last match.”

Donatello sighs, clearly unimpressed, the breath whistling past the gap in his teeth.

“Your trash talk seriously needs some work, man.”

“My arms hurt.” There’s Michelangelo, and Splinter can’t help but smile to himself as he listens to his voice. “Can you hurry up?”

Raph snorts a short laugh. There’s no heat to it, he knows. “Not my fault you're short.”

“M’not short!” He says around an audible pout. “Dad says I’m due a growth spurt any day now.”

A chorus of laughter rings out between the eldest three.

“Maybe then you’ll actually win a game,” Leonardo teases lightly.

Donnatello seems more impressed this time. “That’s more like it.”

“Just hurry up, Raph!” Mikey calls out in near desperation.

Raph tells him to shush then he must spin the board because there’s only about three seconds of silence before he’s calling out,

‘Right foot, green.”

Michelangelo whines. “I can’t reach,” he says in a small voice.

Splinter feels his heart swell in his chest; no matter how big his children become, they still have their moments that remind him of times when they fit in the palm of his hands.

“You gotta try, Mike.” Raph encourages him, and again, Splinter feels a surge of pride well up inside him. Despite all their taunting and teasing and arguing and fighting and bickering that siblings partake in on an almost daily constant, they are still each other's best friends, and that is always evident in the way they train and play together.

Michelangelo must attempt to stretch himself out, a series of moans and groans, when suddenly–

He must have toppled over, bringing his other siblings down from on top of him, because there’s a heavy dull thud and for a single, fleeting moment, Splinter’s parental instinct kick into gear, wanting to get up and check that they were okay.

But it’s unnecessary, because the silence is quickly replaced with a heavenly chorus of joyous laughter, from all four boys, giggling together at their collective failure, Splinter listens to their voices overlap each other as they recount the funniest parts of what had just happened.

“Who’s eating the ground now, huh Leo?” There’s no real heat behind Raphael’s words, clear in the way Leonardo laughs at him, using a choice of words that perhaps he wouldn’t use if he knew his father was in earshot, but Splinter feels no need to get up and scold them.

His sons haven’t much in this life, confined to their small, lonely world. Splinter wishes he could give them more – all the things they are deserving of, but will never have.

He can allow them this, at least.

Their voices trail off, still overlapping one another, probably arguing over who won and who gets next play and whether Michelangelo should be allowed to play again, and Splinter decides then he doesn’t need any more time dedicated to today’s meditation.

He knows peace, in this form, at least. And that is enough to quell his worrisome heart.

[lilys42]

Bandmates (Josh Dun)- Chapter One

I wasn’t able to stop him before he smashed the guitar against the ground. It was his dad’s old acoustic, so he must be really pissed at me.

“You fucked up the entire song, Dani!” Lukas shouts.

“I told you I changed the lyrics last minute! It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep up.” Lukas slung his poor guitar against the pavement again until its worn neck splintered into pieces. He points what was left of the headstock at me with a look of hatred on his face, and our drummer, Flynn, steps between us.

“How about we all just take a breath? Dani, just admit you shouldn’t have changed the entire tempo of the song a day before our show so we can move past this.” Flynn’s feeble attempt to deescalate the situation wasn’t helping, only fueling the fire.

“Hold on, I cleared this with both of you. I’ve been telling you guys for a week I wasn’t feeling the song, and I gave you both the sheet music for it!” My voice began to rise too.

“No, no. You don’t get to make changes like that just because you’re the lead singer. Especially not when we haven’t rehearsed it. God, we made a fucking fool of ourselves out there!” Lukas drops the shattered remains of his guitar and puts his hands on his head, pulling at his hair out of frustration.

“Okay, I admit we should have rehearsed it. But come on, we talked about it. If you didn’t want to change the song, then why didn’t you speak up?” I argue. Both boys are silent for a moment, then Flynn decides to weigh in.

“That’s the thing with you. It’s all about what you want, and what you think is best for the band. It’s been that way for a while. Lukas and I both agree.”

“What do you mean?” My voice falters. I see where this is headed, and I shake my head. Flynn gives me a sympathetic look; his shoulder length hair being pushed around by the wind. He angrily tucks it behind his ears, then continues.

“Maybe it’s time we part ways. I mean, this is the third time just this week we’ve argued over something. We just…don’t see eye to eye anymore. We want to stick to the same old music we used to play, and now you’re trying to change that.” What? I always figured it would be boring if we stuck to the exact same sound and song progression that we started with five years ago.

“I write what I feel. Forgive me if I’m actually feeling happy for once in my life and want lyrics that reflect that. I want to be creative, different. And if you see something wrong with that, maybe you’re right. Maybe the band has run its course.” As I say the words, my heart splinters until I am nothing but a pile of emotions, resting beside the discarded shreds of Lukas’ guitar. I sink to my knees, ignoring the bite of the cold pavement against my bare skin. Lukas whispers something under his breath. I can’t quite make out the words, but I can tell they’re laced with the hate he feels for me in this moment.

“What did you say?” I urge. He turns his head to the side and locks eyes with me, his expression of loathing etching itself deep into my soul.

“I said, no one cares about your feelings, you stuck up bitch. You write what makes us money, or have you forgotten what pays our bills?” Tears spring in my eyes. But I refuse to let them fall. I refuse to let him win.

“Fuck you.” I stand up and rush back over to the back door of the venue where we left our instruments. I pick up my bass and cradle it to my body.

“Dani.” Flynn grabs my arm.

“Don’t.” I say, shoving him off. “Just go. Pack your shit up and go back to the apartment. I’ll be there tomorrow morning to get my stuff.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts, searching for someone to call to come get me.

“Where are you going to go? And how? I’m not leaving you stranded out here in the middle of the night, Dani.”

“I’ll get Rhea to come get me.” Sure enough, she answers on the second ring.

“Hey dude! How did the show go? Sorry again I couldn’t come, but I couldn’t get a single person to cover my shift, and the manager would have my ass if I called out again.”

“I need you to come get me.” I face away from the boys, hoping the wind will drown out my vulnerability.

“What? Is everything okay?” Her usual chipper attitude is gone, replaced with pure concern for her best friend.

“Not really. We um…had another fight. But this one is bad. It’s really bad, Rhea.” I can’t stop the hot tears from flowing down my face. It takes everything in me to stay upright; all I want to do is scream and cry at Lukas and Flynn for how much they’re hurting me.

“Okay honey, just stay right there. I’ll be there in ten. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No, I’ll be okay. I’ll be waiting around back for you.” I sniffle and wipe away my tears.

“Hang in there okay? I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up, and I turn to face the boys again.

“God, don’t cry. It’s pathetic.” Flynn wipes a hand down his face, like he doesn’t know how to deal with my emotions.

“You’re both assholes.” They say nothing else, just load their gear into Flynn’s van and peel out of the empty parking lot. The last of the customers at the venue’s bar trickle out, laughing in a drunken haze and tripping over their own feet. Completely oblivious to my heartbroken self sitting by the door. I sit in complete silence once the laughter has faded. All alone with my thoughts- exactly what I’ve always hated.

Minutes later, Rhea’s car pulls up next to me.

“Uber for Dani?” She says in an attempt to lighten the mood. I can’t help it; I crack a smile. I lay my bass and amp in the backseat, then climb into the passenger seat next to her. She gives me the few minutes it takes to get on the highway back to her place to process, then asks,

“What happened?”

“The band broke up.” I say as bluntly as possible.

“What?!”

“Flynn and Lukas think I’m selfish for changing one of our songs. We fucked up in the middle of our set and Lukas lost his mind and smashed his guitar.” I recount the entire situation to Rhea, and she just stares at the road wide eyed.

“Jesus Christ. Lukas is more of an asshole than I thought. And Flynn called you pathetic? That’s unlike him.”

“I know. He was always the nice one that kept the peace between me and Lukas when we were at each other’s throats. But the past few weeks…he’s been downright mean. Those idiots were my best friends for five years. How can they just drop me so easily?” My tears fall anew. Rhea parks in front of her apartment and reaches over to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry, Dani. I know how much your band meant to you. Do you think you’ll try to find another band to play with?” Rhea asks. I get out of the car and stare up at the dark night sky as it starts to drizzle.

“I don’t know. I can’t even begin to think of starting over. What am I going to do, hold auditions?”

“I don’t see why not. Maybe we could go to some local shows and post some flyers or something.” She suggests. I smile at how much she’s instantly willing to help.

“There’s an open mic at a local bar tomorrow night. How about we go? I would say to stay away from all your usual spots for a while to avoid Lukas and Flynn, but we all know they can’t sing like you can, and nobody’s going to want to play with those assholes.” I chuckle.

“Sure. I need an outlet for all these emotions, and music seems like the only way. That or slashing Flynn’s tires.”

“Oh, we can do that too.” Rhea and I head inside, arm in arm. She puts on my favorite movie to make me feel better: Scream. And for the first time tonight, I stop thinking about my stupid bandmates.

[toonsforkicks22]

Why does Raph have to be the most underrated when he’s been through it the most?

I feel like the Rise fandom barely talks about the relationship between Raph and Splinter.

Like out of all of them, this rat has left a lasting effect on the oldest that seriously needs to be focused on. Both positive and negative.

To me, Rise Raph isn’t just my favorite (and the sole reason I became hooked on ROTTMNT when it premiered in 2018), he’s the character who has held the most emotional baggage.

Some fans have theorized that Raph was practically the father figure to his brothers while Splinter was moping over his lost glory (although he wasn’t neglectful on purpose).

So while we can say Leo and Donnie have some inner resentment toward the rat man, how did Raph feel deep down about carrying such a responsibility for most of his childhood?

He’s 17 now. He’s still a child.

Why I spiritually beg for more Raph-centered episodes in the hopeful new season is because this guy needs not just a break.

He needs a whole arc of relief, happiness, and all the Teddy Bear Town merch.

I also believe Splinter talked to Raph before making Leo leader. He isn’t heartless! (Just look at how Raph reacted at the end of season 2, he’s definitely FEIGNING surprise!).

[cupcakeslushie]

Ok, I'm literally obsessed with the Separated!AU, I read all in the tag in a couple of hours, I made this account just for this AU

I want to know something, does Lou Jitsu exist? Like did Splinter also became a movie star in this AU too, if so, does the turtles like it as much as in canon?. I just can't stop thinking about a Leo who discovered Lou Jitsu movies and probably getting an hoperfixation over them and watching them non-stop when the day went wrong

Lou Jitsu does exist! I imagine Raph was never a huge Jupiter Jim fan, seeing as Splinter hates Jupiter Jerk, and Raph probably picked up on that, adopting the same mindset (I HC that Rise!Leo was the one who originally got his bros to watch it—seeing as he’s always referred to as the super fan, and because I love any call back to soft dork Space Heroes Leo SO. MUCH.) When Raph met April, she probably tried to get him into Jupiter Jim cause she likes the franchise, but Raph only really enjoys a couple films and according to April his taste in which JJ movie is the best is so bad, it’s not even worth talking to him about it.

Mikey would also be a hard core Lou Jitsu fan, but more from what he’s seen from his Battle Nexus fights. Lou Jitsu is the longest reigning champion after all—a total legend—with Mikey holding the title of second longest. Angelo straight up loses his mind when he finds out that there’s a whole filmography to enjoy, the old BN clips that Big Mama used to play for him were cool, but they were grainy and sometimes the angles sucked. But with the movies Mikey gets to see his hero in full remastered high def.

Leo is a Jupiter Jim fan first and foremost cause he’s secretly a huge dork. When he was little, a few of the older recruits had a movie night, and Leo, with just a hint of rebellion still in him, snuck in—just missing out on Punch Chowder, but right on time to catch Jupiter Jim Sails the Seven Galaxies. Ever since that night he was hooked, but had so few chances to ever enjoy anything more. Once he gets closer to April, she lets him borrow her whole collection of movies, series box sets, and comics, and the two are so happy to be able to geek out over all of it together, even if they can never agree on which movie is the best, April figures bad taste is just genetic at this point and has given up fighting it. Secretly though, Leo also loves Lou Jitsu after watching a few with Mikey and Raph, he just refuses to admit how much he likes it and says the dialogue is too corny. The two constantly gang up on Leo, saying that Lou Jitsu is better than Jupiter Jim, so it’s more him choosing one over the other out of stubborn pride.

Donnie is April’s saving grace with Jupiter Jim—agreeing offhandedly one day that Planet Vacation is the best movie of the ones he’s seen so far. However this is still in their off phase, and the irony is not lost on April. She’s devastated that the one brother with good taste seems to want nothing to do with her, but she’s now more invested than ever in winning Donnie over.

Once Donnie’s introduced to Lou Jitsu’s movies, he’s the one to point out how cool it is that their dad is a movie star. Which causes everyone to lose their shit. Because even though Splinter told Raph and April about his past with the Shredder as Hamato Yoshi, he never actually mentioned that he was THE action film star Lou Jitsu. But of course Donnie knows, because pretty much all he heard from Draxum for years was Lou Jitsu’s DNA this—Lou Jitsu ruined his life’s work that blah blah blah.

@organisedchaosstuff They’re just a bit too old to trick or treat unfortunately, but it is still a fun night where they get to walk around and not worry about freaking ppl out. The first year they’re all really together, Mikey pulls that whole ‘younger sibling who did a thing ONCE and now he thinks he’s an expert’ and acts like he’s Leo and Donnie’s guide for the night, even though Raph has been doing Halloween with April since they met.

Mikey’s just so excited he can hardly contain himself. Halloween at Big Mama’s was always a big to do. But it was, like always, a big fancy party that felt more like a chore than anything. The night he went out with Raph and April the year before, was more fun than 100 parties put together and now with Donnie and Leo it’ll be even more fun—even if Leo refuses to dress up—at least Donnie agreed to have some fun and dressed up as Frankenstein. Mikey dresses as a werewolf, Raph a vampire and April goes full zombie.

Everyone counts it as a win, when seconds before they head out, Raph plops a Jupiter Jim helmet on Leo’s head, and barring some slight grumbling, he ends up wearing it the whole night as they run around.

[nobodyfamousposts]

TMNT Crossover

So I was involved in a chat in a discord about an idea where the Leos from 2012 and Rise body swapped across universes, and each take...issue with aspects of the worlds they end up in.

Here's where each take issue with the other's Splinter:

"Do you know what 'parentification' is?"

Splinter broke out of his meditation to see Leonardo at the door. Leaning against it and looking rather cross.

"Leonardo?"

"It's a sort of role reversal where a child is expected to act like a parent. Would be super funny in a 'Freaky Friday body-swap' setup, but in reality? Not so much."

"What are you—"

His son laughed. Harsh and cold.

"You know, I've dreamed of this. Practically since I could talk. Wondering and imagining what it'd be like to be chosen as the leader? To be the one to make my father proud? To have him and everyone call on me—rely on me. Trust me. To actually be worth more of his time than what can be fit into a commercial break."

He took a breath before turning to look at Splinter.

"And gotta say…all of this? Here? You? Kinda killed that dream. I mean scorched."

Splinter frowned, affronted.

"Leonardo."

"No." The boy bit back, furious. "No, you've gotten to talk. I have listened to you do nothing BUT talk, and you have NOTHING worth listening to when you're treating your kids this way." He gestured widely between them. "Because this? These 'special sessions'? This favoritism? The pitting brothers against each other? If this is what it means to be the leader, I don't want it."

"There is more to this than that! You are a ninja, you have a duty!"

"You took in four children and turned them into CHILD SOLDIERS! CHILD. SOLDIERS. That's what bad guys do, Master Splinter!" Leonardo spat out with disgust. "You've been teaching children to fight for you and take on your battles, and you don't care what ANY of them want or IF they even want it!"

"You are still a student, Leonardo." Splinter explained. "I am trying to teach you as your Master so you are prepared—"

"I don't NEED a Master! I need a DAD!"

Silence.

Splinter drew back in shock.

Leonardo….

He was breathing heavily.

"I need a Father. I need to be taught more than how to fight. I need to be taught how to love."

He clenched his fists.

"I need a family. I need brothers who don't resent me for special 'privileges' that are really just responsibilities I never asked for. I need brothers who look after me as much as I look after them. I need trust among equals. I need people who care."

Splinter stared. Stunned. Speechless.

Because…how could he respond to that?

Leonardo glared before he spun and stormed out of the room.

Only Raphael was there. Staring in shock.

If it was his Ralph, he would have just dropped into his arms and cried it out, even if he never admitted to the tears.

And Raph…his big brother would have hugged him so hard his bones popped. He would have patted Leo's shell. He would have let Leo rant. He would have said something reassuring about how Dad cared in his own way and that what mattered was Leonardo was doing his best. That they weren't being ignored. That it was better to have their own space. That no matter what, they all had each other.

He would have…

He would of…

Leonardo walked past the Raphael who wasn't his brother.

This wasn't his Ralph.

This wasn't his family.

He wasn't their Leo. And he wasn't nearly as good as his own Ralph.

…but…

…he was kinda getting a sense of how he must of felt.

______________

Unlike his counterpart, Leonardo didn't waste time with preamble. He simply walked into the room with sword drawn and stood in front of the television.

"Blue! What are you doing blocking the TV?! And what have I said about carrying your sword around the TV room?" Splinter shouted.

Leonardo stared down at the Splinter who was not his Master or in any way a teacher.

And promptly slammed the pommel of his hilt through the TV screen.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Hex Life

Fandom: WandaVision Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Jimmy Woo Rating: E Chapters: 10/10 Word Count: 34k

Summary: Guest starring Agent James E. Woo as himself and introducing Dr. Darcy Lewis as Mrs. Darcy Woo!

Or: Darcy and Jimmy are sent into the Hex to retrieve Captain Monica Rambeau. Finding out Westview has cast them as a married couple is only the first of the surprises that await them.

read ch. 1 one / 2 two / 3 three / 4 four / 5 five 6 six / 7 seven / 8 eight / 9 nine / 10 ten

this fic is now complete!

Jimmy’s going to be a dad. He was going to be a dad in a black-and-white sitcom world and now he’s going to be a dad in a world on the regular spectrum, so the colours really aren’t as big a deal as his impending fatherhood. Possible fatherhood. As much as he’s always secretly wanted his own little Jimmy Woo Jr., he didn’t know if it would be in the cards for him—pun obviously intended—and the last thing he wants to do is influence Darcy either way, especially since he’s only known her a couple days and doesn’t have a clue if a baby was really part of her life plan.

It can’t just be rose-coloured glasses making him see his wife warming to the idea though; when she continues down the hall ahead of Jimmy and Monica, he spots her careful cradling of the baby bump. He can barely stand not touching her. The instinct to shelter others has always been one of his strongest and now he feels it intensely. He longs to protect Darcy, to hold Darcy, to love— Well. Jimmy clears his throat at the very thought and Monica gives him a suspicious side-eyed glance.

“Dry throat,” he lies, tapping his neck in a probably highly unconvincing gesture.

“Uh huh.”

Yeah, she doesn’t sound convinced.

He’s rescued by a burst of sound from the bedroom and dashes ahead of Monica in case Darcy’s in trouble. When he bangs the bedroom door fully open, she’s fine. She’s laughing. He sighs and looks where she points. The queen-sized mattress they shared has changed back to a pair of narrower beds.

“Seriously,” Jimmy says flatly.

“Well, the big bed worked its magic,” Darcy concedes. She pats her rounded stomach. “Mission accomplished.”

“Aw jeeze.”

Ignoring his distress, she sits on the end of the closest bed.

“What I like is that they’re magically made. I didn’t end up having to change the sheets. This is really the next step in home technology.”

“Honey, don’t encourage the magical forces that control our home décor,” he pleads, beckoning until Darcy rises and takes his outstretched hand.

“Better than getting on their bad side. In the AI uprising, you wanna make sure you’re friends with the robots.”

This is an outrageous statement coming from a credible scientist, so Jimmy squints down at her for a minute before saying, “Thanks, house,” aloud, just in case appeasing the Hex now saves him from being closed into a room with no door later, if the walls rearrange to form the ’70s model of their current home.

“You did the smart thing,” Darcy assures him.

As they leave the room, she keeps hold of his hand. He shoots adoring glances at her.

“Hey, Monica,” she says, calling to their guest, who seems to have gone to investigate the walk-in closet. “Accommodations aren’t going to be a problem. I can give you some pajamas too because I think I own at least a dozen pairs, as I’m sure you’ve already discovered…”

But when they look in the closet it’s… not a closet.

“Or maybe the Hex destroyed all my pajamas and I should take back my overtures of friendship,” Darcy corrects.

“Welcome to your nursery,” Monica says. “I’m guessing from the look on Jimmy’s face that this is new.”

It’s spartan, but there’s no doubt in Jimmy’s mind that the room is now intended to be exactly what Monica said. There’s a crib in pieces on the carpet and a rocking chair in the corner. Though he can’t remember this room having even one window, there are now two. The blinds are drawn against the night and curtains patterned with stars and streaking comets hang from a rod mounted above the window. Automatically, he pulls Darcy into his side. He feels her rest her head on his shoulder.

“Man, the Hex is really giving us the hard sell,” she comments.

Just like that, he’s guiding her around by her upper arms and propelling her from the room. He glances over his shoulder to see Monica following with an amused smile. At his nod, she pulls the door shut.

“Ignore it,” Jimmy tells Darcy. “Don’t let that room influence you.”

“Oh, like that’s easy.” She rolls her eyes.

“I know it’s hard not to picture reading Jimmy Junior to sleep in his crib, or watching him learn to roll himself over on the carpet, or cuddling him in your arms in the rocking chair as the morning light—”

“Jimmy Junior?” Darcy asks, interrupting Jimmy’s rapidly solidifying daydream.

“You know what? I’m starving,” Monica announces, putting a hand on each of their shoulders to head off the awkward pause. “How about you two show me some hospitality? I’ve had a long day of being mind-controlled.”

“How ’bout some comfort food?” he asks. “I make a mean bowl of chili.”

“Sounds great.”

So, Jimmy cooks for them. His attention is unequally divided between the simmering pot, Monica leaning against the counter next to him as she recounts the scene at the meeting when Wanda went to take his call, and Darcy sifting pickily through the contents of their fridge. He glances over after putting the lid on the pot to let the chili finish cooking and sees his wife contemplatively holding an egg like it’s Yorick’s skull. Ok, well, he’s just going to leave her to her thoughts.

He sets bowls of chili for himself and Monica on the dining room table. Darcy, justifiably finnicky, takes longer to decide what she’ll be able to stomach, reflexively rubbing the baby bump as she plunders their kitchen. Finally, she comes to sit down. She’s brought a spoon. That’s it. Jimmy’s going to ask, but Darcy just scoots her chair close to his and takes intermittent mouthfuls of his serving while the conversation continues on. He sighs in unannoyed exasperation and alternates dips of his spoon with hers.

It’s just another weird routine they’ve settled into, and like everything else, it didn’t take long.

“You two didn’t know each other before this assignment, right?” Monica checks, motioning between Darcy and Jimmy with a slice of buttered toast.

“No, why?” Darcy asks, dropping a chunk of tomato from her spoon onto his. (Apparently, she doesn’t like tomatoes.)

Monica smiles and says, “No reason.”

She seems ready to accept them as they are, whatever they are. She goes back over the events of this afternoon for Darcy’s benefit—who was zoned out staring at an egg at the time—then the three of them turn to talk of tomorrow. What does Monica feel she needs to try before she’s willing to concede and leave the Hex with them? What can she try? How can Jimmy and Darcy assist her? They talk themselves in a circle of possibilities, limitations, and Monica’s unswerving negative answer to suggestions of her leaving the Hex without getting through to Wanda. Eventually, they decide that the best plan may be no plan, since they’re up against Westview’s ever-shifting magical properties.

“We’ll get up in the morning and see what the world looks like,” Monica says.

Jimmy’s going to reply when the Captain’s expression alters.

“Are you remembering?” Darcy asks her astutely. Monica stares at her. “I don’t want to pry, I’ve just seen that look on a lot of people’s faces lately. People who came back.”

“This isn’t dissimilar,” Monica admits. “When I get anywhere near Wanda or the other characters with speaking parts and start to lose control to… Geraldine—” Jimmy thinks the look on her face is both disgusted and deeply hurt. “—I do get this feeling like the world is going on without me. Only I’m there. I’m right there. I haven’t made up my mind yet if it’s worse than being gone entirely then coming back to find nothing’s the same.”

“Yeah,” Darcy says, soft, sympathetic.

“I don’t know what else the members of this community have been through, but I know I don’t want them to have to keep going through this too. I can’t imagine how tight Wanda’s grip is on the people who were here when she started this. Not sure I’m qualified to be the one to tell her how to let go of her grief and move on.”

Monica blinks quickly and gives a forced smile.

“That was good chili, Jimmy.”

He nods in thanks because he can’t find the right words to say.

They’re all carrying something and Jimmy thinks about that as the three of them clean up, then splinter off to get ready for bed, tired for different and shared reasons. (He changes into his pajamas in the nursery—they found their clothing in a new, regular-sized closet in the bedroom—while Monica and Darcy take the bathrooms.) The Captain’s carrying her recent bereavement and the unignorable sense of responsibility she feels to help Wanda and the Westviewers, possibly precisely because she isn’t ready to confront her own loss. Darcy’s doing some literal carrying with the baby bump her pajama top is buttoned over when she steps out of the en suite bathroom to let Jimmy in to brush his teeth. She’s an astrophysicist who, while studying a television diversion from reality, was brought rudely back to earth by circumstances as real as they come.

What Jimmy’s carrying is actually carrying him: his hope. It’s a good thing to have in his line of work, but a tough thing to keep when the world’s been through what it has. A baby is the least likely and most longed-for thing he would’ve confessed to wanting if someone asked him what was missing from his life.

When it’s acknowledged through awkward glances that, yes, Monica’s taking one of the beds and Jimmy and Darcy will share the other, he climbs under the covers his wife holds open for him. She rolls away from him to lie on her side and he gets comfortable on his back. The Hex has definitely eased up on what it wants for their romantic development because this is the first time he’s been in bed with Darcy and not felt himself caving to the need to have sex with her. Oh, the desire to touch her is as powerful as ever, but the kind of touching he craves is as tender as the flesh of that peach he brought her earlier in the day.

But he doesn’t want to crowd her. Figuratively or literally. Between finding Monica and calling Wanda, making love to Darcy all afternoon and being presented with her pregnant belly in the evening, it’s been a dog’s breakfast of a day. The mission abruptly became just the second most daunting thing he needs to pull off. Now, he’s driven by the impulse to be near Darcy. She doesn’t know it, but she’s drawing him in like gravity and he can only cross his fingers for a soft landing.

Jimmy almost jumps when she reaches for him in the dark, hand feeling behind her until it finds his. She drags his arm over her and he flips onto his side to make it easier. Though Darcy lets him go when his arm’s around her, he doesn’t know where to rest his hand. Tentatively, he places it over her belly and she wriggles back into him. Heart bursting, he holds her more securely to his body, smooths his hand over the bump, and soon falls asleep.

—

The floor wakes him up. He’s just fallen out of bed.

Disoriented, Jimmy sits up in a tangle of comforter and squints at his bed companion in the morning light. They must’ve repositioned while they slept, but that alone wasn’t what forced him to and over the edge—he can see the shape of Darcy’s belly beneath the sheet. It’s noticeably larger than it was yesterday.

He’s still trying to come to terms with that when she sleepily grasps the comforter and yanks it back over her body. Jimmy chuckles and rises into a stretch. Monica’s bed is empty and neatly made, so she must be up already. Before entering the Hex, his internal clock was strict too. Since, he bends to the needs of his subconscious, which seems happiest when it’s allowed to sleep in, particularly if Darcy’s warming the sheets next to him. This is only their third day in Westview and the second time waking up here, but it feels wonderfully routine. As satisfying as completing his consistently-timed morning run or pouring exactly the right amount of milk into his cereal.

Although he’d like to let Darcy sleep, it’s weird now because he’s staring. Anyway, they need to tighten up their operations even further today if they’re going to get out of here soon. Monica requires either success or closure with Wanda, so Jimmy’s determined to help with that. And if Darcy’s pregnancy takes another leap forward, well… that’s another time crunch to consider.

She’s lying on her side, facing him, belly in the space where he fell asleep. Gently, he brushes hair out of her face and strokes lightly up and down her arm.

Darcy gives him a murmured “Hi” with her eyes still shut.

“You gonna get up?”

“Inaminute,” she promises, words running together.

“Alright.”

Jimmy hovers for a second, then darts down to kiss her forehead. She pats his shoulder clumsily in response.

He might as well have had his own eyes shut, blind to everything but Darcy, because it takes opening his wardrobe to realize Monica was correct—everything’s changed again. WandaVision has embraced the ’70s. The shirts and suits he was pretty comfortable with have been traded out. Those items still exist, but now they’re aggressively patterned. There are flared pant legs. There is so much corduroy. Out of the row of shoes tucked into the bottom on his side of the closet, half have platform heels.

“Oh god,” Jimmy groans softly, sifting through for something that won’t feel too much like a cheesy costume.

He ends up with jeans—his only pair of pants without a pattern—and a striped shirt with wide lapels. The Hex’s makeover of his closet has him so beaten down that he doesn’t even pick out a jacket. He doesn’t have the heart for business casual. At the sight of a long-sleeved jumpsuit, Jimmy closes the closet door securely. They have to get out of here. This will be the thing that breaks him.

Slouching into the bathroom, he drops his selections on the counter and takes a shower. As he washes his hair, his fingers slow their scrubbing. Is his hair… longer? He finishes quickly and steps out to find the mirror fogged with steam. He wipes it clean with his forearm, examining his reflection. This place isn’t through with him yet: the Hex has given him a mustache.

Jimmy screams.

“Fine!” Darcy shouts back to his wordless noise of dismay. “I’m up! God, you could’ve just set an alarm and OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THIS BABY BUMP?!”

He sighs on behalf of himself and his wife, slicks his too-long wet hair back with a comb, then starts in on shaving off the mustache. It immediately grows back.

“Come on,” he complains, cursing the Hex. “Why’d you give me a razor then?!”

Luckily, his annoyance fades the minute he sees Darcy. She’s swearing up a storm about needing to pee and her head looking too small for her body because the Hex has straightened her hair, but he takes all of her restless irritation in with a dazed smile on his face. Adjusting her glasses—now almost circular, with rounded off corners—she catches sight of his new look and erupts into laughter. Whatever the Hex does to mess with their appearance, at least they’re each other’s best medicine to combat it.

“I don’t want to be insensitive,” Monica starts when they walk into the kitchen hand in hand, “but are you significantly more pregnant than you were yesterday?”

Jimmy watches Darcy nod and slips away from her to throw some more bread in the toaster from the bag Monica’s left out on the counter for them.

“You’d think it’s just this big, shapeless dress,” Darcy says, “but no.” She pulls the fabric taut over her stomach to show the size of her belly more accurately. “I don’t want to say it, but the size of this thing makes me think the Hex is leaving me room to grow.”

“And if that dress is only for today…” Monica says.

“Jeepers,” Jimmy concludes.

They eat together in their reconfigured living room. It’s not until Monica’s kicked back in one of their low chairs, ankle propped on her opposite knee, that Jimmy notices her patterned pants.

“Those aren’t from Darcy’s closet are they?”

“No. I’m assuming they’re my clothes from yesterday with the matter recycled for a new decade. Believe me, this outfit wouldn’t have been my choice if I had anything else to pick from.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure. I had a whole closet and still ended up with this,” Jimmy says, motioning to himself.

“My retro Secret Agent Man,” Darcy states admiringly, leaning her head over to bump against his shoulder. Ok, he thinks, smiling at her, I can be alright with this for her.

When Monica rises to turn on the television, Jimmy realizes this is the first time they’ve had one in the house. He remembers seeing a set in the Vision residence when he and Darcy were watching an episode on the S.W.O.R.D. base, but he didn’t notice the lack once they got here. Probably because that first night was taken up with flirting, and then yesterday was split between scouring the downtown for Monica and holing up in the bedroom with Darcy. Watching the screen buzz to life now is like witnessing something truly futuristic and spectacular.

“Well, whaddaya know,” he says as the opening sequence of WandaVision begins.

“You think the TVs in here play anything else?” Darcy wonders aloud.

“Maybe not,” Monica says distractedly as they all turn their attention to Wanda and Vision’s adorable antics—the ice cream, the tandem bicycle. “It’s a pretty big coincidence that this show started right when I turned it on.”

“I can see an even bigger coincidence.”

There’s no need to guess what Darcy means. Wanda’s baby bump is obvious in nearly every shot of the introduction, particularly emphasized when she and Vision dance together, his hand on her belly. It’s all maternity clothes and Vision reading pregnancy books and while it’s wholesome, it’s also chilling.

“We’re doing the same plot,” Jimmy says.

“It’s like we’re… their understudies,” Darcy agrees, shrinking back into the cushions.

“Maybe Wanda figured, if you two wanted to be in the show so bad, she’d put you in the show,” Monica theorizes. “Her show. Exactly the way she’s living it.”

“So she’s teaching us a lesson? On what? Abstinence?”

“Could be a misguided attempt to gain your sympathy.”

“Or it really is all about control,” Jimmy suggests, cynical after the reveal that the pregnancy that’s upended his entire life isn’t really theirs. It’s not original. They’re following a Newlywed Couple template.

“Hey,” Darcy says, grabbing his arm, “this wasn’t all Wanda. She might’ve set the scene and, yeah, maybe we were more the goatherd puppets than we were Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp, but we did this.” She pulls his hand to her belly. “Wanda doesn’t decide what we do next.”

“What I suggest you not do next is consult Dr. Misogyny over here,” Monica says, gesturing at the television.

The doctor is condescending to Wanda and Vision about the facts of life during a checkup (in their living room?). He lowers himself even further in Jimmy’s regard when he refers to expectant mothers as “little ladies” and implies that the changes in their own bodies are beyond their understanding.

“What a quack,” he decides. “We’re not going to see that guy.” He’s startled to recall his promise to Darcy the previous evening, about options, his intention not to make up her own mind for her. Lowering his voice, he tilts his head close to hers. “I mean, we’ll do whatever you want. Including…”

Jimmy trails off and casts his eyes down. He still means it, wants Darcy on board with this 100% or not at all, but the whole thing’s been a roller coaster and he’s not great at pretending not to feel anything. With his wife so much further into her pregnancy today, it’s obvious that this baby will be born and they’ll need to decide who’s raising it. He thinks the two of them together could rear a pretty incredible kid, but if she wants out, is he prepared to be a single parent? The other option besides her, him, or both of them raising the baby is adoption. They’d need to leave the Hex before taking those steps (it’s not like he’s going to encourage Darcy to hand the baby over to a mind-controlled Westviewer), and just thinking about it, with everything he already feels for the baby, makes him certain that he’d rather rearrange his entire life than pass on this chance at a family. However unorthodox their beginnings.

“Don’t worry,” Darcy says calmly, pulling him from his spiral. “That guy will never get the chance to compare my uterus to a vegetable garden.”

“Fruit,” Monica corrects without looking away from the television.

“Right. Fruit. He’ll have no say about any of it. And he definitely won’t get the opportunity to be patronizing as fuck while he tries to give us the sex talk.” She looks Jimmy right in the eye and says, “I won’t let the asshole doctor-man say a word about your banana.”

Chuckling, he looks back to the screen. The doctor has departed and Vision’s currently baffled over Wanda’s newly expanded stomach. Uh oh. He jerks his head around to check and, yep, Darcy’s baby bump appears to be keeping up with the sitcom star’s.

“You two stay here,” Monica instructs, on her feet when Jimmy glances over.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To Wanda’s. If things continue at this rate, she could give birth in this episode. That’s going to make her even more protective of her family and her space and I’ll have an even harder time getting near her.”

“Are you sure you want to interrupt?”

They both glance at the television for a moment to observe Wanda and Vision debating baby names in the nursery. There’s nothing distressing about the scene—in fact, the couple looks as much at ease as Jimmy’s seen them on the show—but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t change, and quickly, if Monica inserted herself. He just isn’t sure how that would go and he doesn’t like any plan where he can’t foresee all the possible outcomes.

“Guess I just have a feeling,” Monica says, looking unsettled.

“Well,” Darcy pipes up, “in the world of science, having a feeling is forming a theory, and in this place… I think having a feeling you should do something might be Wanda giving you your cue.”

“You’re not beyond her control,” Jimmy tells Monica, “just farther away from it. What if Darcy’s right?”

“If Wanda wants me there, I’m not going to resist,” she replies firmly. “She’s the key and we need her cooperation.”

“Good luck,” Darcy bids her.

With a nod to them both, Monica strides across the living room and opens the front door.

“Speaking of keys,” Jimmy recalls, but the door shuts before he can offer to let her borrow their car to get to Wanda’s.

Maybe the Captain has a different plan. Maybe she’s just bending to Wanda’s influence. Whichever it is, he can’t go after her. Monica was right—he has to stay here with Darcy today, especially because her belly seems larger when he looks again. He glances at her face with a question on his and she nods.

“And I felt a kick,” she says.

“Really? Could I…? Do you think I could…?”

Darcy rolls her eyes at his reticence and guides both his hands to the bump. When he feels something nudge his palm, Jimmy tears up.

“That’s our baby,” Darcy confirms.

“Feels like they have my softball windup,” he murmurs.

“Or my pre-coffee restlessness.”

“Our baby,” Jimmy repeats, staring into her eyes—finally blue for the first time in days, give or take a decade.

They’re having a marvelous family moment until the power goes out. Lights, TV, the hum of the fridge in the kitchen, everything. Seconds later, it all comes back.

“That was strange.”

“I wondered what Wanda’s magic was doing to the power grid,” Darcy says. “I’m still curious about the finer points of what happens when electricity meets power generated by an Infinity Stone. Really, I’d expect Wanda to have this kinda thing under control, but I guess if she’s— Ugh!”

Her pained noise has Jimmy cupping her face, pushing back her hair, trying to figure out what happened.

“She’s distracted,” she says.

“By what?”

“Labour.”

“What? No.”

Sure enough, when Darcy stands (with Jimmy leaping to his feet to support her) and stretches her back, her bump looks big enough to contain a baby that’s almost ready to be born. Ready to be born?! Jimmy thinks. In our house? With no doctor? Just because the one on TV rubbed him the wrong way doesn’t mean he’s prepared to write off every doctor, nurse, and midwife in Westview. He would very much like to place responsibility for this delivery in the hands of a medical professional, not his own!

Even as the TV’s flickering back to life, he helps Darcy away from it. That just shows how serious things are. He knows how quickly she became invested in the sitcom when they reviewed the ’50s episode at the base.

After some frantic thought, he’s thinking the bathtub is going to have to do. People do that right? With home births? Although he attempts to guide Darcy in that direction, she doesn’t even want to sit down on the edge, let alone climb in. No, she wants to pace, and as she paces, she rubs at her lower back, wincing.

“We could look at the nursery,” he proposes. “Might take your mind off it.”

Jimmy knows it could be a weak suggestion, an insult to imply that anything could take Darcy’s mind off whatever discomfort she’s currently feeling, but the Hex, with its radioactive walls, smiles down on them for once. With his arm around her to take some of her weight, they hobble into the baby’s room and it’s… perfect.

The walls are dark blue near the ceiling, almost black, fading to periwinkle halfway down the wall. The lower portion transitions from blue to pale yellow, then a blazing orange right before the baseboard.

“It’s a sunrise,” he comprehends.

“Yeah,” Darcy says softly.

Though he feels like he got slightly ripped off by not being allowed a chance to do any of the decorating, he does admire the Hex’s choices. At last, his wife’s been represented in this space, in this house, and it’s beautiful. There’s a shelf full of space-themed board books, a plastic jumble of play versions of scientific tools like telescopes. A dangling mobile of the planets. After easing his wife into the rocking chair, Jimmy holds up a pack of glow-in-the-dark stars.

“Should I put these up?”

She smiles.

“I would be all over that shit if I could, but I trust you to do a good job.”

“Oh no. Do you want me to do real constellations?”

“The baby’s not gonna know the difference. Make it look however you want.”

She rocks, assuring him something about the motion is helping her manage the intensifying pain of her contractions, and Jimmy finds a small stepping stool to help him reach the ceiling. The sway of the chair in the corner of his eye, the morning light through the curtains, and the sound of Darcy breathing are things he already knows he’ll never forget.

Before he’s stuck all the stars in the pack to the ceiling’s white paint, she calls him down from the stool.

“I need to walk again.”

Darcy says it with grit and Jimmy doesn’t argue, even when walking appears to put her in even more distress; she groans and pushes her free hand against the wall as they stroll out of the nursery and down the hallway.

“Let’s check in with Wanda,” Jimmy says helplessly.

This is who he is now: a husband in over his head, desperate to gain tips about delivering a baby from a TV sitcom. An overwhelmed real estate agent. A man with a mustache.

They return to the living room and the TV playing WandaVision in time for Monica’s entrance. Based on her free use of ’70s slang and the general discord between the Captain Rambeau Jimmy’s been getting to know and the woman on the screen, he knows they’re looking at Geraldine. Wanda’s back in control of her character alright, and Jimmy wants to know who it’s helping. The scene’s centered around some joke about Wanda attempting to hide her pregnancy, which is no good for him. He needs a step-by-step guide, not a magic-resistant stork!

“There better not be a fucking bird in here,” Darcy gripes, alternately crouching and standing as every position fails to make her comfortable. “If I see a fucking, goddamn, sonofabitch, motherfucking—”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Jimmy assures her, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades with the flat of his hand.

“The betrayal,” she mutters when Wanda elects to lie down behind a couch.

It completely blocks their view. If this were a regular show, Jimmy would understand that. Sitcom viewers would definitely appreciate a little TV magic over graphic, up-close-and-personal birth footage, but here at the Woo residence, one FBI agent and his astrophysicist wife really just want the truth! If Monica had agency, he’s sure she’d shove the couch aside to help them out, but with Geraldine at the helm, he’s confronting the fact that he and Darcy are on their own.

“Let’s go, Darcy,” he says, steering her towards the bathroom. “We don’t need her.”

“Are you sure?”

He’s never heard Darcy sound so uncertain and knows he’ll have to bluff his way through this. When the Avengers aren’t around, the regular people must step up. Reminding himself of that has gotten Jimmy through more than one tough day on the job and he tells himself it’ll get them both through this.

“Of course.”

In the bathroom, Darcy kicks out of her underwear and uses Jimmy as a crutch to climb into the tub. Her face is scrunched up severely and her hands are braced against the walls of the bathtub, so he tries to watch and understand what she needs. When all the tension in her face and body burst out in a shout, he grabs her hand. Her fingers curl around his palm in a death grip.

“How about some nice warm water? Water, Darcy?”

She nods rapidly, eyes clenched shut, and he turns on the facet, then quickly reaches behind her to plug the drain. The stream wets his sleeve and, when he withdraws his arm, hits her hair around the level of her shoulders and begins to soak the back of her dress. Between contractions, Darcy sighs in what sounds like relief.

“That feels good,” she acknowledges.

“Good,” is all Jimmy can say back. He kisses her face and squeezes her hand in his. “Good.”

He’s back to scrambling for a solution soon enough when the warm flow of water down her back stops being enough to soothe her. He helps her out of her sodden dress, tossing it behind him to splat on the tile floor.

“What do you need?” he asks wildly, leaning over the tub.

“Earplugs,” Darcy tells him before emitting a scream shrill enough to probably be heard by their neighbour’s dog, Dipper, down the street.

Jimmy doesn’t think, he just does. Snatching a towel off the rail, bracing his wife’s foot against his shoulder as her leg spasms, reaching into the water to collect their baby when the Hex (he assumes) does them the favour of letting one long push be sufficient to expel him. Him. Jimmy and Darcy’s son.

He’s beaming through the happy tears, delicately wiping at the wailing baby with the towel and passing him into Darcy’s outstretched arms as she shakes with astonished laughter, hair wet, head resting back against the jut of the faucet.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he jokes.

Darcy sits up, sending a splash of water over the side of the bathtub to slap the floor, and he knows the Hex is interfering again to make her capable of anything besides exhaustion after what she just accomplished. She twists sideways in the tub until she’s closer to Jimmy. He wraps an arm around her wet shoulders and peers down at the face of their boy, already drowsy after exercising his tiny lungs. Jimmy can feel Darcy studying his face.

“Jimmy Woo Junior?” she asks.

And he knows the rest is going to be gravy.

—

Inside the Hex, the magic of television is real. They didn’t need to fake Darcy’s pregnancy with a cushion to make her belly, round and taut as a beach ball, disappear entirely only minutes after giving birth. They didn’t need a set of twins or triplets playing Jimmy Woo Jr. to swap in a quiet baby for one that starts to cry. There’s no trick lighting or fudged angles, just Darcy sitting on the couch (in dry, non-maternity clothes) catching their amazingly calm, less than an hour-old son up on the details of his origin story—Darcy’s wording.

It’s shaping up to be a nice, if highly unusual, family day in, until the tension starts to mount on-screen. Probably something Jimmy could’ve caught sooner if he weren’t spending 50 seconds out of every minute stroking the baby’s teeny-weeny hands while he hopes Jimmy Jr. retains zero memory of his dad’s mustache. When he hears Monica mention Wanda’s brother by name, he’s fully alert to the episode and knows he has to act. That close to Wanda, Monica’s control should be fully suppressed beneath the character of Geraldine. If she’s breaking through to ask Wanda person questions, questions that are almost definitely going to provoke an emotional response, Monica must be fighting like crazy to surface. Jimmy decides that’s his signal to get over there and help bring this thing to a satisfying conclusion so they can all leave the Hex.

“You’re not going to Wanda’s without me,” Darcy informs him, planted in front of the door when Jimmy returns from grabbing his keys.

“Darcy, you can’t. The baby. I’d stay with him and let you go, but I’ve never heard you mention particular skill in hand-to-hand combat and I can’t guarantee things won’t turn violent.”

She snorts.

“Liar. I could be the world’s biggest hand-to-hand badass and you’d still be trying to protect me right now.”

He stares at her and Darcy stubbornly lifts her chin as she holds his eyes.

“Ok,” Jimmy concedes, “yes, I would.”

“Please don’t leave us here,” she says, cheek pressed to the baby’s. No, no, no, he can already feel himself wanting to surrender, to have them with him. Darcy kisses their son’s face, then holds his hand to gesture while she pitches her voice higher, pretending to speak for Jimmy Jr. “I want to meet Auntie Monica.”

He gives her a look and reaches past her to open the door. Instead of trying to exit around his family, he waves Darcy through ahead of him. (She looks down at the baby in her arms and goes “Yaaaay! Isn’t Daddy a soft touch?��)

“You didn’t persuade me,” he says, leading them to the car and holding the door for Darcy while she climbs into the back seat with the baby. “This is strategic.”

“Is the strategy common sense? I feel like you should’ve gone with that from the beginning. Bringing a scientist to a magic fight is good thinking, for, like, balance and shit.”

Jimmy backs down the driveway as gently as he can. Their car’s been modernized (well, for the latest decade) and while it now has seatbelts, it wasn’t equipped with a car seat for their son. He’s going to have to drive with the utmost care.

“Hopefully, there won’t be a fight,” he reminds Darcy, “but if there is, you won’t be anywhere near it. You and Jimmy Junior are staying in the car. Alright?”

When he darts his gaze to the rear-view mirror, he sees his wife looking out her window, making a show of not listening to him. Jimmy sighs.

Without thinking, he navigates back to the street where they dropped Monica off yesterday. Wanda’s house is just down from Dottie’s; he remembers the number from watching WandaVision. Jimmy draws up to the curb and parks. He glances back at Darcy, but she’s still ignoring him.

“I’ll try to be right back,” he tells her anyway, eyes dropping longingly to the serene face of his sleeping son. He’s heard that about babies and car rides.

Jogging up the driveway, he does a doubletake of a ragged slash in the wall between Wanda’s property and her neighbour’s. There’s not exactly anything wrong with a damaged cinderblock or an amateur handyman job, but the crevice in the stone stands out in a world so aggressively styled and manicured.

Wishing for the reassurance of his gun at his hip in case things go south (it’s the first time he’s even thought about the gun since the night he and Darcy arrived), Jimmy enters the Vision residence without knocking.

Orienting himself to what he was just watching on TV in a house less than a mile from here, he walks across the entryway, attracting the attention of both Wanda and Monica. They’re standing across from each other in the living room. Raising his hands to show he intends no harm, Jimmy sweeps his eyes over the scene in assessment, like he has a hundred times before. Monica’s expression is alarmed under superficial friendliness—the look of someone trying to placate an attacker. With her aggressive, forward-leaning posture and the way she’s positioned herself between Monica and the cribs (he’s surprised to see more than one, but he did miss some of the episode while he was delivering his son in their bathtub), Wanda fits that role.

“Wanda,” he says, taking a step towards the seating area, “you don’t want to hurt her.”

“Are you working with her?” Wanda demands. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

“James Woo. I’m not here to hurt you. Neither is Geraldine.”

“You don’t want to hurt me? Then why do you come asking questions? Saying things—” He can see her chin wobble from here as she teeters on the edge of tears. “—about Pietro. You didn’t know my brother.”

Her statement is directed at Monica, but Jimmy tries to bring her focus back to him. Of himself and the Captain, he’s the one with an exit at his back, whereas Monica’s hemmed in by a large bookcase.

“I didn’t know your brother,” Jimmy agrees. “I do know about him, but we don’t need to talk about that. I don’t want to upset you, Wanda, I just want you to let me leave with Geraldine.”

“Oh, I’ll let you leave,” Wanda says, cocking her head as she raises her hands. This motion conveys the opposite meaning to Jimmy’s—she does intend them harm.

He’s contemplating what’ll happen if he tries to rush her when Darcy charges through the front door he left open.

“Don’t!” Jimmy gasps, making a grab for her, but his body is tense with caution and Darcy has the momentum to dodge him, stepping down the level into the living room.

“Look,” Darcy demands of Wanda, whose expression is torn as she chooses between facing Monica and this new intruder.

Jimmy’s mentally composing and rejecting ideas of how to proceed when their unwelcoming host lowers her hands. She’s looking where Darcy directed her to, at the baby in Darcy’s arms.

“He was born less than an hour ago, and I only found out I was pregnant yesterday, but that doesn’t matter. I know it’s the same for you, the circumstances and the… yeah, whatever. You know about the Big Bang, right?” she continues, jumping to the next thought.

“Yes,” Wanda says carefully.

Jimmy’s terrified to move closer and set Wanda on the offensive again. He glances at Monica, who seems to be thinking the same thing, frozen in place.

“From nothing to so much, in an instant,” Darcy’s saying in her condensed history of the universe. “Science is supposed to be full of all these rules. Like, every scientist dude important enough to remember had some law or formula or method that we map everything on top of when we’re pretending we understand all this. Being in science isn’t a goal I’ve had for a long time—I mean, I probably wouldn’t be in it now if the world hadn’t more or less ended—and if all I ever heard about the workings of the universe was rules, I would’ve stayed away. Who likes rules, right? Who wants to be told that things are the way they are because something outside of your control says so? My point is…”

She takes a deep breath, then another one, shifting until she’s blocking Wanda’s expression from Jimmy’s view.

“Sorry, I just gave birth, you know how it is,” Darcy says when she goes on. Jimmy’s stricken with exasperation, adoration, fear, and pride. “My point is that I love science because, while science is laws and rules and equations, science is also standing outside at night and staring up at the dark. There are explanations for every light that’s up there and why, even when you’re away from big cities and the sky seems so black and close, you don’t fall up into it, although it kinda feels like you could. Science can tell me why, and it still feels like magic when I look at the stars. And we’ve all been traveling out here in space together, getting made and unmade and made again because the right ingredients needed to create something as precious as a planet, or a baby, or the clay that’ll make the bricks that’ll make the house never disappear. Suns explode, asteroids collide and get chipped away… things can separate down to their smallest part, life can…”

“End?” Wanda asks.

Jimmy’s stunned to hear the word come out choked. Cautiously, he leans to get a glimpse of Wanda’s face. It’s covered in tears. Darcy’s nodding.

“But everything’s valuable. All matter gets reused.” Jimmy wants to grab her and pull her to safety when she takes a step closer to Wanda. “I get it if you’re sad and you’re not ready to talk about it. I’m not gonna say it’s ok, because I’ve heard Monica’s testimonial on exactly how much it sucks to have you in her head, but I do think you should let us leave now so you have a few friends out there when you inevitably need people on your side.”

“You can go,” Wanda agrees, swiping at her nose. “I won’t hurt your baby.”

“You’re not going to hurt my friend either,” Darcy says, beckoning for Monica to cross the room behind her. “Or my husband.”

“No,” Wanda says.

Monica reaches Jimmy and they wait for Darcy in the entryway.

“I bet all that control feel really good,” Darcy theorizes. “Taking it into your own hands. But I think you know that focusing on the beautiful, magical stuff doesn’t mean the rules no longer exist. Maybe you can find a way to accept them both.”

“It’s time for you to leave,” Wanda says, firmer now.

“Not looking for a life coach, got it.”

She joins Jimmy and Monica, bouncing the baby lightly in her arms. Wanda ushers them out of the house ahead of her. Jimmy glances back to see her close the door after herself with a twist and red glow of her hands.

“What about waiting in the car?” he mutters to Darcy as they stride down the lawn.

His self-proclaimed wife stares at him.

“I’m not the kind of person who waits in the car. Would the kind of person who waits in the car give a speech like that?”

Jimmy’s at an honest-to-goodness loss for words.

She gets into the car willingly enough now, Jimmy in the passenger’s seat while Monica slides behind the wheel.

“Wanda’s told me how to stand, how to move, how to walk since I got in here,” Monica says, turning the key in the ignition. “I’m driving myself out.”

“It’ll part for you when you get there,” Wanda calls to them from the lawn. “The barrier. I suggest you do not attempt to enter again.”

“I think we’ve all had our fill,” Jimmy informs her cheerfully through his rolled-down window.

She doesn’t respond to this, so Monica executes a three-point turn and takes them back up the street the way they came. From there, they turn out of the subdivision, but Jimmy snags a last look at Wanda through the back window. There’s a light breeze blowing her dress and hair and she looks like she could be anyone. A suburban mom of twins? Why not. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever see her again in person, but he has plans to catch her show.

“Wanda’s changed the roads,” Monica says as she drives. For his son’s sake, Jimmy’s grateful that she isn’t speeding, though he wouldn’t blame her for trying to get out of here as quickly as possible. “None of them lead out of town.”

“Literal tourist trap. Brilliant,” Darcy declares from the back seat. Jimmy reaches an arm back blindly and feels her close her hand around his.

“But,” Monica adds, “I remember Ellis Avenue being the closest cross street to the edge of town. We find that, then drive over the grass. Things may get a little bumpy.”

“We’ll survive.”

Jimmy twists around to look at Darcy. He nods. They will. They’ll survive.

They cross Ellis and take the car off-road. The barrier remains invisible, but…

“I can feel it,” Darcy says.

“Like we did the day we came in,” Jimmy recalls.

“It still wants us out,” Monica interprets. He sees her staring uneasily ahead. “Was I naïve to think I could change anything by coming in here?”

“No, Captain. It was brave.”

“Didn’t work though. We aren’t leaving with Wanda.”

“It could work,” Darcy says. “We left her with a few things to think about. We’ll watch WandaVision and see.”

“That’ll be strange after being a part of it.”

“You think so?” Jimmy wonders. He takes a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine, playing with Darcy’s fingers laced through his. “I think it’s returning to regular life that’s going to feel strange. Out there, it’s easy to see all this as a TV show, but everything in here is real.”

“We’ll make Hayward understand that.”

“I’m bringing back some compelling evidence,” Darcy says, followed by kissy sounds directed at Jimmy Jr.

The air just a couple of car lengths ahead of them abruptly glows red as Wanda reveals the wall of the Hex. Jimmy and Monica exchange a look, but she doesn’t slow down. They pass through without resistance. All of a sudden, it’s night. Monica lets out a relieved sigh.

The S.W.O.R.D. base is looming, exterior lights ablaze, but Jimmy looks backwards, checking that Darcy and the baby are alright.

“Same as you left us,” she says, pulling back the blanket to show him the face of his son.

He gives her a slightly melancholic smile.

“Not quite, Dr. Lewis.”

“I’ll have a lot of work to do,” Darcy notes thoughtfully, “but time for you and me to go on dates will be on my list of demands.”

“You have a list of demands?” Monica asks, laughter in her voice.

“After being forced into the Hex, where I could’ve lost my life? Fuck yes, I have a list.”

“What else are you asking for?”

“The coffee I requested on day one and a desk in a better spot so there’s room next to it for the crib that will also be on my list.”

Monica laughs aloud now.

“Is this a benefits negotiation or a baby shower registry?”

“Let’s get back to the part where we’re going on dates,” Jimmy says. “How’s that going to work?”

“Jimmy, darlin’,” Darcy begins, “will you go out with me?”

He leans to look around his seat at her.

“Darcy, we were married. We have a baby. Don’t you think we can—”

“Answer the question, Agent Woo.”

“Of course I’ll go out with you,” he says.

“And that’s how it works. Easy-peasy.”

She gives his hand a squeeze before releasing it to hold Jimmy Jr. more securely as Monica pulls up to a building and brakes. Already, S.W.O.R.D. agents are rushing out to meet them, but Jimmy drops back against his seat and smiles to himself.

“‘Easy-peasy.’”

[dakotafinely]

What current rottmnt AU do you like the most? Or at least list your favorites

A reason to gush over my favorite stories? HECK YEAH:

Neurodivergent Turtle Family by belizaster: It’s a one shot but it’s really good and I’m a SUCKER for family softness and this delivers

Sleep Over At April’s by @fluidfox123: CAN I TELL YOU HOW GOOD THIS IS?? THE STORY, THE FEELINGS?? THE FRICKIN’ ENERGY!!! LEO IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HIS IDENTITY AND WE LOVE IT!! IT’S SUPER WELL WRITTEN AND I RECOMMEND THIS TO EVERYBODY WHO LOVES ROTTMNT!!!

Save Your Tears (For Another Day) by cxlesstial: It’s a Rise/2012 crossover. It’s taking place in the Rise universe and for sure leans more into Rise’s humor and energy. I’ll be honest, I think this persons newer to writing but the concept is great and the execution of it ain’t half-bad!

Dimensional Differences by goldenspecter: This is ALSO a Rise/2012 crossover but it takes place in the 2012verse. I think it’s very intresting and actually follows a bit of the continuity of the 2012 episodes without being ooc or weird with the Rise bois in it. They write such a large cast of characters seemingly with ease and it makes me a bit jealous. They do use Rise’s energy to their advantage but stick to the 2012verse atmosphere and blends them in a way it works. I will forewarn you that they do have Rise!April x Sunita x Rise!Casey but the way is written isn’t shoved down your throat.

A Shared Fear by Marron121: Another one-shot mainly focusing on Raph and Leo. And covers the idea of Leo becoming leader at the end of Rise. It’s a too fast-paced I feel but not so much so it’ll take you out of the immersion. They do a great job with the characters and it’s more of a fluff piece then an angst one.

(It won’t let me share the link on that one, but I had to add it)

LIKE A DAD! by LazyLuc: Wonderful fluff one-shot shared with me by an anon. But I bring it up again because it is SOFT it is SWEET and I can’t help but add it to my list of stories.

The Best Type of Kidnapping by JustAndrea: A Draxum centered one-shot focusing on him integrating into a member of the Rise bois family. I don’t really read Draxum - based stories because they’re not my cup of tea. But this one is a well-written fluff piece I just have to share with you! It’s a part of a series but I’ve only read this one of it. But I do recommend checking out the series yourself if you like Draxum - based stories!

Head, Shoulders, Shell & Tum (Shell & Tum) by CringePhase: A FANTASTIC one-shot with lovely discoveries Splinter makes as he learns how to be a father. It’s so sweet and the fluff is to die for. An instant favorite and one of the first few fanfic’s I’ve read from the Rise fandom. It deserves a lot of love and attention!!

Take Care by OneThumpAway: I debated for a bit on whether I wanted to add this one. Because it’s about the Mud Dogs and not the Rise Bois. But I added it anyway because I’m a sucker for it. It’s a hurt/comfort type of fluff and the writings a bit clunky but I like it a lot. I think it does well in portraying these character’s in a realistic way despite how little we know of them. It’s really only Danny and Leonard centered so I’m sorry to all those Mickey stans.

And of course, the entire series called Charmy’s Fantasy Stories by both CharmyWizard and VoidInkedPen: because how could I not recommend these bad bois? This entries series is one of the best and I’m sure everyone who’s been in the fandom for a hot minute already knows about it. But I gotta praise it because the entire series is to DIE for. In both it’s fluff and angst, the story and the world it’s created in is fleshed out and wonderfully thought through if you haven’t given it a read yet. Please do! Each story and be read on its own but it’s so beautiful to go through the list because it works so well. You’ll love it I’m sure!

And that brings my list to an end! Sorry this took so long, I went through my history just be sure I didn’t forget one! I personally love all this stories and I hope you will too if you choose to read ‘em! Give the writers some love and some kudo’s because all of them deserve it! They’re all amazing in their own ways and deserve a read through.

Thanks for the ask!

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Personalities

Guess I’ve never really did one post like this one, but I wanted to list out how I envision the guys to be like, generally. My creativity has been going down the drain lately, so hopefully that’ll boost me up a bit !

-- Leo --

Leo gives out that tough, serious vibe, mostly because he’s the leader and wants to show that he’s in control.

...

But in general, that dude does like to laugh and have some fun!

Don’t worry though, he knows when he has to be serious!!!! ... At some points he just has to relax, you know?

A Man of Culture ™ , he owns some bonsai trees and loves to meditate so he can have a clearer mind. Tranquility is his way to recharge his batteries (yes, I do see him as an ambivert, with a strong introvert side).

 A comic books fan, shares that passion with Mikey! He’s more of a Marvel fan, personally - some of his favorites are Spider-Man, Black Panther, Captain America, and probably a bunch of others).

Anger and strong emotions can hinder his leading choices. Anxiety rises in him, which can cloud his thoughts, but he’s working hard on that (and he’s kinda good at hiding his panic, generally).

Even if he doesn’t say it often - he does love spending time with his brothers! Watching basketball matches is definitely a must for those four.

A Leo in love is a smiling Leo. A true gentleman, he can turn into quite the passionate lover when alone with his s/o. He’s not much a fan of PDA, but his s/o shouldn’t worry much about that as the affection is multiplied tenfold later on.

Actually has a good singing voice, but he would prefer to die than to let people know.

Values Splinter’s opinion highly and often goes to him for guidance about many things - mostly regarding his leadership.

It’s a bit hard for him to let new people enter his life, since he’s scared for his family to be discovered and out in the open by any means possible, but he’s slowly starting to trust his instincts and his brothers’, knowing when it’s safe to let certain people in their world or not.

He’s an avid reader. Has a preference for classic litterature, but also enjoys horror, crime stories, and a bit of romance (if he really feels like it).

-- Raph --

Sir Raph bitchinson is in DAH HOUSE.

He’s not afraid to speak up and call out anything wrong in this household.

He and Donnie love to gossip and bitch around - you can’t change my mind. But they do that in secret though (wouldn’t want to hurt people with their judgements!!!)

Can be pretty much eloquent, when given the chance. He’s more street smart than book smart, but all knowledge is good knowledge.

He always likes to come up with some challenges for himself and his bros. Some sort of “friendly” competition amongst them, just to spice things up. He does consult Splinter sometimes to see what could be done in order to train certain skills.

Raph has a lot of love to give, but doesn’t like to show it plainly. He’s gotta show that big buff strong man attitude !!!!!!!!!! ... But he does have a big heart.

He and Mikey definitely do some music on the side - which has sparked the hilarious idea of a Hip Hop Christmas album. ... Mikey does call himself “MC Mikey”, but Raph is a better rapper.

Suprisingly good with arts and crafts (ex: woodcarving, knitting). Patience, precision, and carefulness are skills he has to work on often.

Training and lifting weights are his prefered ways to think back and analyze various things. That’s why when he’s angry, he goes out to train. It gives him the opportunity to calm down (somehow) and review the situation.

Even though his arguments with Leo can turn quite bitter, he knows he’d miss them if they were to stop. Butting heads with the leader is what brings them together (some would argue it’s not a healthy relation, but both are strong headed so it’s just always gonna be like that, you know~)

-- Donnie --

You know that shy, awkward, nerd stereotype? Throw that out the window, please.

Donnie sure is quiet when he first meets new people, but that’s only so he can observe them better and get to know how to interact with them better.

Once he’s starting to grow more comfortable, he’s probably one of the chillest dude you could hang out with.

Sure, sometimes he’ll start blabbering about his projects and throw out some complex terms, but that’s just because he’s always happy to include people into his things (IF the project is going well, that is...)

A patient teacher. Yes sometimes it’s tiring having to explain whenever he says a big word, but he doesn’t mind overall explaining and bringing forth new knowledge to those who seek it.

He’s not one to flaunt his intellect. He is not above anyone and he understands that not everyone has the same passions as him. Everybody can learn something new everyday - himself included.

Has a good sense of humor, mostly sarcastic. Is always up to doing some pranks around the lair with Mikey.

Donnie’s anger management could be described as “the calm before the storm”. He usually has a good control over his emotions, but if they ever get to explode, he can be quite ... “sharp”. He doesn’t hold his words and can be a bit judgemental when angry - but he’s quick to rectify the situation and apologize. Overall, when he’s facing a situation that displeases him, he is silent  and thoughtful. ... A lot goes on in his mind.

When in love, Donnie’s heart is soft and he’s a big romantic/cheesy dork. He’s often caught gazing at his s/o, with a smile on his face. He’s not afraid to lay his feelings in the open and doesn’t mind some PDA, but when he and his s/o are alone together, you can say it gets cranked up a bit ;)

Listens to various music genres. Has a preference for 80′s-90′s rock, jazz, and various types of electronic music.

Sometimes does some remote tech support jobs on the side so he and his family can have some money to spend.

Loves to play videogames! The first one he ever completed was Super Mario World on the Super Nintendo (hence why he has a SNES controller with his gear - an object filled with good memories!).

The self proclaimed “handyman” of the lair. He loves tinkering around and find ways to upgrade simple things in the house. He’s always up for a good challenge! (May or may not have a suggestion box for his bros and his dad to drop ideas once in a while <__< !!!)

-- Mikey --

Searching for a litteral ray of sunshine? Look no further; Mikey is here.

For him, finding joy and positivity in anything is a must - at least, most of the time.

He knows his family is not of the ordinary kind with a normal house, but that doesn’t mean things have to be grim and miserable!

This mindset does come at a price though. It does happen for Mikey to have his morale drop considerably low, but in those moments he knows he has his family to support him and make him feel better.

In return he is extremely supportive of anything his family does and will always encourage them when they’re going through a rough patch.

He and Raph love to collect various human items. Mikey has a tendency to go for art related items, which sparked his interest in arts (painting, spray cans/graffiti, drawing).

He also developped an interest in cooking.

Both skills are well received by his bros and he loves to teach them some tricks here and there, along with providing creative inputs to anything (mostly Donnie’s projects).

He’s an empath and doesn’t mind when his brothers vent to him. He wants them to know they are heard and valued! The best medicine he can provide is humor.

He’s a big flirt. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and he’s not afraid to express his admiration.

A party needs to be organized? Leave that to him. He always come up with some cool playlists, lots of booze, various activities, and a theme (if needed).

Loves to reference a lot of movie quotes, popular stuff and such. And it’s never out of place too, which can be surprisingly clever!

[remmushound]

Bay/rise 37!! @errorfreak88 @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @brightlotusmoon @yarchurr @dakotafinely @sententiously-sarcastic @sprinklestheditty

Content warnings!! Mentions of death

The ringing in Leo’s ears was deafening. After his humiliating defeat, the best thing he could think to do was find someplace quiet to think. The single place in the lair that offered such solitude was Splinter’s room— the only single-person bedroom in the entirety of their home. It was small and Leo could barely fit through the doorway, and laying on the bed made him feel colossal, but he didn't care. He buried his face in the pillow and it smelled like his father and that was all that he cared about.

He didn't care about losing the spar. Sure, it was a bad sting to his self esteem, but at least his dad hadn’t been there to see it. But maybe if Splinter was there he could have talked some sense into Leo before he made a fool of himself in front of his brothers. He didn't know what he was doing and he admitted that to none but himself. He had been leader for almost four years— and even before then he had always taken well to bossing his brothers around. That’s why he had been made leader in the first place! Because Splinter saw something in him and chose to highlight that above all his flaws and faults. Leo still didn't know why!

As a kid, though he had always taken charge, his personality wasn’t just that. Not like what he was reduced to now. He remembered running the sewers with his brothers and mapping out the tunnels with their minds alone and how he was always the one who could find the way home even when Donnie’s techniques failed. He remembered Splinter taking them up to the storm drains so they could watch the parades go by in the streets. The colors, the people dancing, the music sounding off and filling Leo with such a bubbly, warm joy that he just wanted to dance along to any song that carried down the tunnels.

That was what ninjitsu was to him at first. Dancing. Memorizing the moves and following through as fluid and free as the dancers he saw on the streets and in movies. Trying to emulate what he saw— feeling the melody in the very blood that coursed through his veins. Then a fun hobby turned into an obligation. It wasn’t a game anymore— it wasn’t something to enjoy or a fun thing to practice in his free time. It was his duty, his responsibility. His honor. And he couldn’t let his father down!

He wasn’t human and he could never be human. He shouldn’t want to be human! He was a turtle— he was a mutant— he was Splinter’s son! He had to live up to all the stories he was told about how great he would be and he had to live up to his father’s expectations and he had to live up to what the people in the city needed him to be! He didn't need to dance, he didn't need to like his work—he shouldn’t like his work! Work is work and work isn’t meant to be enjoyed. He was a savior— a messiah in the form of a grotesque monstrosity and it was him and only him that could protect his brothers and the city and the earth and he just wished the ringing in his ears would stop—

Then he opened his eyes again. The ringing wasn‘t just in his ears. It was all around him. An alarm— Donnie’s alarm— sounding a warning of some enemy approaching. Leo looked up and dried his tears just as Donnie came rushing into the room.

“Leo! An alarm went off in the south tunnel! We should check it out! Are you gonna…?”

Leo stood up quickly, shoving his way past Donnie and reclaiming his swords on the way to the entry tunnel. He didn't dare look up at any of his brothers or their counterparts as he passed them by. He was a leader and he had to be strong and silent and he wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t allowed to be weak. He had to be the best— he was the best! Even if Leonardo had beaten him.

They traversed the tunnels in silence. Leo’s brothers were all gathered around him, Mikey with his head hung low like a puppy and remarkably silent. Donnie gave Leo space instead of being right at his side as usual, and Raph put some distance between himself and his Leo for completely different reasons. He needed a chance to cool off before he strangled Leo for how the stubborn leader had been acting the past few dates. He could strangle him later, Raph told himself. Just wait until the sensei’s are safe.

Leonardo was in the lead of his family, Michelangelo clinging to his arm for security against the rushing water that tried to force him off his feet. Leonardo, slippery as he was, always had a better grip under the water than the land-dwelling box turtle could hope to achieve. Donatello was tapping away on his watch, though Michelangelo was half convinced that it was actually just a game. In the place of Raphael, who’s exhaustion couldn’t be moved even by the loud scream of the alarm, was April taking up the rear. She had yet to get her special baseball back, though whoever this Casey Jones was had promised to get it out of police holding for her. In its place she had a new, regular bat covered in nails. Not as effective as her mystic bat, but she was sure it could pack a punch nonetheless.

They came to the place where the alarm had gone off. All eight of them slowly came to a halt when they saw the intruder just standing there, calm as day, as if he had been waiting for them quite some time. Leo and his brothers all took an audible gasp as they stepped back, Leo putting his arms out to protect those behind him. Leonardo and his family, however, gasped for a whole different reason.

“HUESO!”

Despite Leo’s wide motion for them all to stay behind him, Leonardo lead his family to all ignore the leader and dash forward under Leo’s arms to greet the skeleton man. Hueso looked filthy, his normally flawless suit stained with the sewage he had to wade through and dripping even after he had found an almost-dry spot to stand on. 

“Oh Hueso! Es bueno verte! I can’t believe you’re here! I’d hug you if you weren’t so gross!” Leonardo laughed and held his arms out for a social-distanced hug.

“Yes, I’d do the same if not for similar reasons.” Hueso grumbled under his breath.

“How’d you get here Hues?” April asked, walking closer to the calaca than Leonardo dared.

“It is a very long story.”

***

“You go on ahead Cassandra. I got some loose ends to tie up.”

When Cassandra left through the rift and the portal closed behind her, only then did Draxum put Hueso back on the ground and release his vice-grip. Hueso gasped softly as he clutched at his throat, his eyes full of hate and locked on Draxum like he were the scum of the earth.

“What do you want from me?” Hueso asked finally, his eyes never once leaving the sheep yokai.

“We have a common means, calaca.” Draxum said, calm and steady. “I hear you are fond of the one called Leonardo.”

“Fond?” Hueso laughed, “I wouldn’t much call it fond as I would call it a... hostage situation.”

“But you know of him. You care for him?” Draxum made a fist and raised it to the air. “You are a very clever Yokai, I can tell. And I could trust no other with a message as important, and to accept what I am about to ask of you would ensure riches and safety for you and your family.”

A glint came to Hueso’s eyes. “What is your request?”

“My creations think me cruel. They know not of my plans, and I need a carrier to bring the news to them so we may unite our forces to take down a common enemy.”

“The Shadow Fiend…” Hueso whispered softly, looking to the place where the rift had once been. “He is not whole. He cannot be defeated in the state he is currently in.”

“Yes.” Drauxm growled softly.

“He must be made whole again, and the only way to do that is…”

“A sacrifice. A sacrifice of Hamato blood will bring the Shredder back whole. He’ll be defeatable.”

“But the cost...”

***

“...would be great.” Hueso finished. “You would be able to destroy The Shadow Fiend once and for all! He sent me here to be your guide.” Hueso looked to Leonardo.

“So he’s not bad!” Michelangelo said quite loudly, his voice echoing all around them as he ran fast to hug Hueso, almost tackling the older skeleton. “DRAXUM’S NOT BAD! I knew he wasn’t!”

“You… you’re just…” Leo pointed at Hueso.

“Just a bone man, yes.”

“Hm.” Leo smacked his lips together as he nodded ever so slightly. “Okay.”

“Can I touch your bones, dude?” Mikey asked, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

“That is extremely disrespectful.” Hueso spat, “You should show more respect to your elders.”

Everyone just stared at him.

“Well? Data prisa! We haven’t got all day!” Hueso started to usher the teens back down the sewer tunnel, his confidence and booming voice enough to compensate for the shorter and weaker form he had compared to the brothers. “Malditos chicos! Tan lento!”

The mutants scattered along at his urging just as they would if their Splinters had done the same. Hueso grabbed Leonardo before the blue ninja could get far. 

“Talk with me.” He said in Spanish before they started to walk again.

“Why the Spanish?” Leonardo spoke with the same tongue and in a hushed voice. He hoped none of the counterpart-brothers could understand what was being said.

“We must talk of your father in private.”

“Splinter? Why? Do you know something?”

“I told you the ceremony requires blood magic! It requires the host to be bled and possessed by the Dark Armor. The host would be your father with his hamato blood.”

Leonardo’s eyes went wide. He stopped walking for a moment, but Hueso grabbed him by the arm and forced him to keep going.

“B-but if we destroy the shredder then he’d be free right?”

“To destroy The Shredder, we will have to destroy the host.” Hueso looked up at Leonardo with mournful eyes. “If we go through with this, then you will have to kill your own father.”

[cole-grey-writes]

Pains & Stains

Universe: The Witcher (Netflix)

Timeline: Post-Season One

Character(s): Ciri, Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier

Pairing(s): Ciri x Trans Male Reader (platonic), Geralt of Rivia x Trans Male Reader (platonic), Jaskier x Trans Male Reader (platonic)

Warning(s): not episode 6: Rare Species compliant, blood, period talk, vomit, swearing, temporary misgendering

Summary: When you wake up one morning in a puddle of blood, you look to Ciri, the only one who knows about you. You’ve kept this part of yourself hidden from your other travel companions, Geralt and Jaskier, for a reason. But, now it looks like you can’t hide anymore.

A/n: I had the worst period of my entire life. This is basically a retelling of what happened to me (with some embellishment of course). Sidenote, ciri x reader can actually be read as either romantic or platonic, whichever you prefer (it says platonic only because it’s not explicitly romantic) but since ciri and reader are both teenagers (id say 14-15 ish, give or take a few years) the geralt and jaskier x readers are strictly platonic/familial type relationships. Also, i got another week of spring break so pls send in asks before i have to focus more on school again. But anyway, enjoy °u°

Side Note: in regards to Geralt at the end, I genuinely don’t think he’s being transphobic or misgendering on purpose and that’s not how I meant for it to come off as. In my opinion, I think geralt is just wholely... unaware of the situation. He’s basically been isolated (with the exception of other Witchers) for a vast majority of his life so I think with that comes ignorance to certain things. So, he’s not being malicious, he’s just very uneducated.

You know exactly what wakes you up. You know what the painful cramps and squishy, warm feeling in your pants means, but you don’t want to look down and confirm it.

The sun is slowly rising which means Geralt will be waking up soon and you don’t want him to find you bleeding all over yourself. You wouldn’t be able to explain yourself without having to tell him about you, so you accept your fate begrudgingly.

Sneaking a peak at Geralt and Jaskier, you take note that they’re both still sleeping in their separate bed rolls on the opposite side of the burned out campfire. You roll back over as quietly as you can and reach out to Ciri, who’s sleeping right next to you, and try to get her attention. It takes a few calls of her name and a shove before she finally wakes up confused. All you can do when she looks at you questioningly is ask for help.

Ciri is, rightfully, concerned and immediately up and ready to help. She gets her bag, fishing out the cloth she uses for her menstrations before she gives it to you. You stand to leave when Ciri asks, whispering, “What are you gonna do?”

“Go to a stream close by or something and wash my clothes.”

Ciri nods. “I’ll deal with the blood.”

You eye the small puddle of blood that had dripped down your leg and into the forest floor. You turn away quickly, agreeing. You head off in some random direction and it isn’t long before you come across a stream and begin stripping. It’s awkward being naked out in the open, even worse when the water you’re washing up in only comes up to your waist but you figure it would be even more awkward to explain to your travel companions why you have blood all over your crotch.

You bear the vulnerable feeling and refuse to look down while you allow the flowing water to clean your lower body, simultaneously scrubbing vigorously at your pants and smallclothes. You decide to take longer than necessary to wash. You know it’s gonna be a long day of walking so you wanna make sure you don’t immediately feel gross.

After the washing is finished, you just get your clothes back on, still stained but less so and now damp, when Ciri comes into view.

“I couldn’t get the stain all the way out,” you tell her, feigning nonchalance when all you can feel inside is panic.

Ciri tells you, “It’s fine,” before she’s pulling her cloak off and handing it to you. “You can wear it until we can sneak you some new pants.”

You sigh, relieved and grateful. “Thank you.”

Ciri smiles and you both begin to head back to camp. As you walk, Ciri questions you about the pain. You and Ciri go back a long time, practically grew up with each other. Your parents were soldiers of noble blood who fought alongside Queen Calanthe so you’ve known each other since you were kids. It didn’t take long for you to confess to Ciri about how you felt when people called you by the name your parents gave you or when your dad called you his little baroness or when the peasant boys you and ciri played around with called you little girl. And since you were so close, she knows all about how painful your time can be.

“It's not so bad right now,” you tell her, subconsciously rubbing at your abdomen.

“That's good,” Ciri says. You agree but silently wonder how long it will take before you’re completely consumed by pain.

You’re both silent as you make it the rest of the way back to camp. As you step back into the clearing where you had slept, you note that the camp is completely put away. The only thing left as a sign that anyone had been here is the circle of burnt firewood.

“Ah, there you two are, you little scamps,” Jaskier exclaims upon seeing you walk into the packed up camp, throwing up his hands dramatically. “We were beginning to think you’d gotten lost.”

Beside Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t look all that worried but he does look mad, although he does always look like that. He leans against a tree with his arms crossed, glaring at you as you approach. “Where have you been?”

“I told you I was going to the bathroom,” Ciri explains quickly.

Geralt says, without looking away from you but still gently, “Not you.”

Geralt’s tone doesn’t bother you as much as it used to. He was worse in the beginning actually. You used to think that Geralt hated you for some reason because he wasn’t as distant with Ciri as he was with you and then Jaskier joined Geralt in his travels again. And he treated Jaskier about the same as he treats you. It took a few days of observing interactions between the two men to figure out that Geralt wasn’t being mean or, rather, wasn’t trying to be. He was just reluctantly accepting of the presences of men.

It also crossed your mind more than once that it could be because Ciri was his child surprise, as Jaskier eventually explained. But whatever the reason may be, he acts differently with you and there isn’t much you can do about it so you ignore it as much as you can.

“I was washing up,” you explain lamely.

“We did that last night,” Geralt says through gritted teeth. Which, yeah, they did while Ciri bathes by herself away from sight — still within Geralt’s earshot for safety reasons, obviously —, the men bathe together. And since you haven’t had the courage to tell Geralt and Jaskier your situation, you, in fact, did not bathe last night.

“Oh, hush,” Jaskier says, waving Geralt off. “So he wanted to wash in the morning. I actually do it often when I'm not spreading the tales of your heroics and I find it quite refreshing. You know, some say people that wash in the morning actually-”

“We should’ve left by now,” Geralt huffs. “We’re late.”

You sigh, watching Geralt walk away and start leading Roach down the path.

Jaskier comes to stand beside you, throwing an arm over your shoulders. He playfully tells you, “Don't let Geralt bother you any. He's not a morning person, clearly,” which makes you instantly smile.

“Where are we headed?” Ciri wonders as she comes to stand next to you, too.

“About a day’s north,” Jaskier says.

You groan, throwing your head back. “A day?!”

“Yes, I’m afraid,” Jaskier confirms sympathetically. “Ah! But, if you would like a nice way to pass the time, I am always willing to give a little… sneak peak of my new ballad.”

Ciri gasps, eyes sparkling. “Yes please!”

You hum, “Sure.”

Jaskier begins strumming his lute and you all set after Geralt, doing your best to ignore the increasing pain in your abdomen.

As always, it doesn’t take long at all for the force of the pain you usually feel to hit full throttle and in turn, the nausea sets in.

You wrap your arms around yourself, fingers digging into your sides with all the strength you have, doing your best to ignore it. You had hoped it would even out the pain so it wouldn’t be that bad, maybe distract you for a while, but it doesn’t work even a little bit and it’s downright unbearable.

By mid morning, your muscles are shaking, you’re sure you’ve carved little crescents into your sides even through your shirt, and you're dripping in sweat with the effort to not cry and fall to the floor in blinding pain. You blame the last one on the blistering sun when anyone questions you about it.

Your problem causes you to lag behind everyone else quite often, although Ciri does her best to stay with you and keep you mind off the splintering pain. She talks endlessly about anything and nothing at all but it helps only a little bit.

It’s during a particular lull in the one sided conversation between you and Ciri that you hear Jaskoer badgering Geralt insistently about something. You almost don’t pay any attention to it, it's Jaskier and Geralt so that's how they always are, until you hear him say your name.

“He needs a break, Geralt,” Jaskier says sternly and louder than his previous tone, which catches Ciri’s attention as well. Geralt continues to ignore the bard. “Maybe your witcher eyesight is starting to diminish in old age, so I suppose I'll enlighten you. He is positively sweating rivers, Geralt. He’s soaked through his little-”

Geralt pulls Roach to a sudden halt so he can growl in Jaskier’s face. “Fine, we can take a break if it will get you to shut up!” Then, Geralt ushers Roach forward faster, veering off the path.

Jaskier turns to you and Ciri, smiling a very smug smile. “Well, time for a well deserved break. Hopefully there’s a river nearby, we can fill up our waterskins. Maybe splash about for a while if Geralt doesn’t threaten to leave us behind for taking too long, if we’re lucky, if-“ and you tune him out as he keeps talking on account that a hot spike of pain stabs you directly in the pelvis. You barely manage to swallow a cry, although your face contorts in the effort. It caused Jaskier to pause mid babble. “Are you alright?”

“No, I'm fine,” you say, rather quickly. Too quickly.

“Are you sure? Because you really look very pale. And, actually, your hands are-”

You’re yelling before you can stop yourself. “I said, I’m fine!” Pushing past Jaskier roughly, you rush to catch up to Geralt who’s almost completely immersed in the foliage a little ways away from the path. You prefer, at the moment, to deal with an annoyed Geralt than a chronically curious Jaskier who questions you nonstop about what’s wrong with you until you get so fed up, you spill all your secrets.

There’s no river or stream where Geralt decided to stop and let Roach chew on some grass near his feet, but there is a small sized pond. You don’t wander too close to Geralt, keeping your distance like you always do, instead choosing to sit against a tree while pressing your knees hard against your chest to try and control the pain.

Jaskier and Ciri approach only seconds later. Jaskier immediately walks over to Geralt and starts talking to him about his new ballad, even though they’ve all heard it five times that morning so far, and Ciri comes to sit down next to you.

Ciri leans close to your side, whispering, “How high is the pain so far?”

You show her your hands, shaking visibly, causing Ciri to frown. She grabs one of your hands and holds it in her lap soothingly, rubbing her thumb across the back. “I also feel like throwing up.”

“That might have to do with the fact you didn’t eat dinner,” Ciri tells you as a matter of factly, side eyeing you pointedly. “And breakfast.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say dismissively. You add, in a sad attempt to use comedy to cope with the pain, “I've made mistakes.” In response, Ciri doesn’t laugh but she hums with a small smile.

You sit silently for a few moments before you turn to Ciri and say, “I think, maybe it would be a good idea to throw up a little bit.”

Ciri shakes her head doubtfully. “I don’t know, Y/n.”

“I should at least try it,” you tell her, shrugging. “It might help get rid of the feeling, even for a little bit. Maybe hold me over until Jaskier can convince Geralt to stop for another break.”

Ciri looks like she thinks it over before she nods reluctantly. “I guess that makes sense.”

You and Ciri stand together, seeming to grab Geralt’s attention. When he begins to approach with Jaskier in tow, you turn sharply to give Ciri a questioning look. Ciri nods understandingly, sending you walking away speedily in a random direction, not bothering to spare either man a glance. You can feel the burn of Geralt’s golden eyes on the back of your head as you retreat into the forest, but you don’t slow your gate. You hear Ciri explain that you had to pee and silently thank her for being such a good liar.

You only stop walking when you feel you’re far enough from Geralt’s impressive hearing won’t catch the pitiful noises you’ll inevitably make. You notice that you’re near a fallen tree and you decide you can use it for support. Walking over to it, you drop to your knees and put both hands on the horizontal trunk. Waiting only a few seconds for the nausea to bubble up, but it obviously doesn’t when you want it to and you figure since Geralt’s been in a bad enough mood all morning, it’d be best to make this experience as quick as possible.

Opening your mouth, you stick a single finger to the back of your throat, gagging instantly. Except nothing comes up. Your breathing increases tremendously though and you do feel the sickness set back in quickly after. You gag twice more without any help from your fingers before you feel your stomach finally give a wet gurgle. Gagging once final time, a yellow liquid comes up. It's warm and slippery but there's hardly any of it, barely a handful.

You were right earlier, it seems, because you do feel better, if only a little. Your stomach finally settles and the sickness isn't burning the back of your throat anymore. You kneel on the ground for only a few more moments, making sure you’re done. You stand when you deem yourself stable enough, wiping the slime from your lips. Your turn to make your way back to your companions before you’re left behind, ignoring the quivering that spreads from your hands to your stomachs to your thighs.

As it turns out, you couldn’t quite ignore your trembling libs and apparently, neither could Jaskier. He stopped you multiple times on the long and agonizing walk, asking if you were alright, and every time you told him you were fine every time. Jaskier clearly didn’t believe you if the increasing number of worried glances were anything to go by.

Your condition, as the day drew on, only grew worse and it was getting bad enough to cause a crease to appear on even Geralt’s brow. You barely make it to midday before Geralt is suddenly deverting from the path and leading the group through the woods to a new destination. It confuses you and Ciri, causing you to exchange glances, but you both choose not to say anything.

The new destination, as it turns out, is the nearest civilization that actually only takes a little over ten minutes to get to. It’s a small backwater village with barely ten families, only a single story inn, a quaint little tavern, some food vendors scattered around in the center of town, and, thankfully, a stable for Roach. Surrounding the village is nothing but yellow fields on one side and the blossoming forest on the other side, which is an odd combination in your opinion. Obviously, given it’s miniscule size, there’s nowhere to sightsee — not that you do much of that anyway, thanks to Geralt’s workaholic attitude — so you all immediately head off in the direction of the inn.

Outside, Geralt hands you and Ciri some coin. “Go inside, book a room–”

“–preferably with two beds,” Jaskier jumps in easily.

Geralt, ignoring him, continues, “–while I drop off Roach–”

“–and I look for work at the tavern.”

Ignoring Jaskier even harder, Geralt wonders, “Think you can manage that?” You side eye Geralt at that because you know he’s talking about you, but it doesn’t sound melicious like you would’ve expected from him. In fact, it sounds to you like his tone leans more towards slight concern than anything else.

Shifting around on your feet, you look down and fidget with the sleeves of Ciri’s cloak that is darker now at the ends from you wiping away the sweat from your face all morning.

Ciri takes the coin bag from Geralt. “We will.” When Jaskier and Geralt walk away, you follow Ciri into the inn. She turns to you as soon as you walk in, saying, “It might take a bit to get the room. Do you think you’re able to stand and wait just a little bit long before resting or maybe you should sit down?”

You shrug even though you feel like your limbs are weighing you down. Ciri gives you another doubtful look of the day and tells you to just have a seat while she gets a room. You watch her walk over to the innkeeper before your brain catches up.

You do as Ciri said, walking over to a stool that sits next to an empty table and drop into it, your feet dragging the whole way. Resting your head on the table feels more relieving than it should, but you really don’t have any more strength left to think about it or to keep your eyes open any longer. They droop and fall close.

It feels like only seconds that you sit there before a hand grasps onto your shoulder. Your eyes snap open, vision blurry with rest even though you feel like you got none at all.

“Sorry,” Ciri apologizes. “The innkeeper was trying really hard to negotiate a price.”

You shake your head drowly. “Didn’t really notice.”

“Well, the room is paid for now so we can go settle in,” Ciri seems overly happy about that but maybe it’s just for your sake. “You can change cloths before Geralt and Jaskier get here. Dinner won’t be served for hours so there’s plenty of time for a nap before that.”

You nod, agreeing. It does sound nice and it would be good to change cloths so you don’t leak while you sleep.

You stand to start walking with Ciri to your room, but as soon as you’re upright, a flash of cold air whooshes through your body and you immediately feel light headed. Stumbling, you accidentally knock over your stool and another next to you. Ciri grabs onto your arms to help you stay standing but it’s no use. Your knees buckle anyway, vision going dark just as you feel yourself collapse into Ciri’s arms.

You wake up slowly only because you still feel like absolute shit. Your arms feel stiff and your legs feel as shaky as they have been all day. Your stomach is tying itself in knots and the nausea is back.

Your eyes actually don’t hurt from the dim light at your left, but you close your eyes anyway in hopes of going back to sleep.

“Oh, you’re awake.” You open your eyes at the undeniable sound of Jaskier’s relieved voice. You have to turn your head to actually see him, noticing as you do so that there is a cool damp cloth on your forehead and that you are laid above the covers. Jaskier, when he comes into view, is kneeling in front of the fireplace, setting two more pieces of wood in the dwindling flame. “That’s good. I was getting a bit worried.”

Not wanting to move your head more than you have to, you just look where you can from this certain angle. Thought, to be honest, there’s not much to look at. You are obviously in the room Ciri paid for. It’s small like you expected from a one story inn. There’s a chair in the corner by the fire with Ciri’s cloak thrown over the back of it. The dark blue curtains over the windows are closed and it would be drowning the room in complete darkness if it wasn’t still daytime out. But, given the bright orange light coming seeping through, you suspect it’s not going to be much longer. Also, there’s a small table next to your bed with a lit lantern sitting on it.

“It’s on low,” Jaskier says suddenly. You look at him questioningly. Jaskier smiles softly, saying, “The lantern. I put it on low so it didn’t hurt your eyes.”

You guess he must have seen you eyeing it.

“You’ve spent an awful long time without food,” Jaskier tells you, almost as if you didn’t know that yourself. But, still, you grimace at that thought of food. “Yes, I imagine food really doesn’t sound all that appealing given the nausea and cramps. But, alas, you must eat something.”

You wonder for a moment if Ciri told them about you but you shove the possibility away violently. You know she wouldn’t do that. Ciri had promised when you first started traveling with Geralt that she would never say anything if you didn’t want her to. But, then again, it’s not a real surprise Jaskier knows. You’ve heard many tales of Jaskier’s many sisters while he’s traveled with you. He’s grown up with many women in his life, and while you are no woman, that doesn’t discourage your body from acting like one.

Jaskier walks over to you with a wooden bowl in his hands. Jaskier sets the bowl on the table next to the lantern. He says, jokingly, “It’s no rabbit stew, but it’s good, I suppose. Do you think you can sit up a small bit and have some soup?” You can groan minutely and turn your head away in response. “Come on, cub.”

You pause at the endearment. It's not new but it is surprising in this situation. Jaskier uses it often with you and Ciri given your high status Cintran blood. But, he’s never used it all those times he’s lectured you and Ciri about wandering around towns without supervision or when you swear when he’s around or when you and Ciri sneak away with his lute for some of your own concerts. Which means Jaskier is clearly not mad at you for keeping your secrets or at least he’s really, really worried about you.

“It’s been almost an entire day since your last meal. There’s no way you’re not starving.” Still not willing to force food down right now, you swallow around your dry, swollen feeling tongue. With a scratch to your voice, you ask about Ciri with as little words as possible. “Out. With Geralt, getting some… products.”

You don't miss the obvious way Jaskier stumbles. You have no doubt what word he skipped over in his explanation and it confuses you. Usually everyone just assumes–

Geralt comes clambering into the room with Ciri right behind him. Unlike Geralt, who has that permanent scowl on his face, Ciri is smiling brightly.

Ciri comes over to sit down next to you immediately, setting down the loaded bag on the bed in front of her. “How are you feeling?” She asks. When you hum noncommittally, Ciri hums back empathetically. “Well, we went into town and look!” Ciri exclaims, pulling out some black pants from the bag. “We got you some new pants. They might be a little big but I know you don't mind that,” Ciri tells you, smiling a little too cheerfully for something so simple as a pair of pants, but you smile back anyway.

Ciri goes to say something else, no doubt still praises about the pants, but Geralt interrupts her harshly. “Are you going to explain what happened or not?”

Jaskier’s head whips around from where he’d been looking on at you and Ciri. “Geralt,” he hisses.

Geralt is unbothered and continues despite Jaskier’s warning. “Why were you keeping secrets?”

“Geralt, is this really the time?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Jaskier fully turns towards Geralt, hands resting on his hips. “Oh, I don't know, Geralt, maybe it’s because he’s sick!”

“She lied,” Geralt growls.

You sigh, resigned. You were expecting it but it still makes your belly sink with ice.

Your eyes flash open when the bed shifts violently. When you do, you see that Ciri has jumped up on the bed, towering over Geralt. “She?!” Ciri screeches indignantly, catching everyone off guard. “He is a boy!”

“Ciri,” Jaskier says gently, attempting to calm the obviously furious girl.

From behind her, you, as well, do your best to appease Ciri, even if you would really much rather crawl into the mouth of a Kikimore and never come back out. “Ciri, it’s fine…”

“No, it’s not. Do you even know how hard it is for him to be seen as who he is?” Ciri says, voice still booming. Geralt looks rightfully surprised. “He did not spend years publicly reinventing himself to be mistaken as a she!”

When Geralt tries to speak, Ciri doesn’t let him have the chance. In fact, Ciri raises her fists and starts hitting Geralt, saying multiple explicit ‘fuck you’s. Geralt, in turn, blocks her attacks but doesn’t try to stop her while Jaskier rushes over to calm her down himself.

The fighting only stops when you curl in on yourself from a painful cramp. You barely have enough sense to roll over to your side to vomit over the side of the bed. The puddle is even smaller than the one in the forest.

Ciri breathes heavily, crossing her arms while scowling that rivaled Geralt’s own. “Get out.”

“Ciri,” Jaskier tries, but Ciri moves away from Jaskier and tells them to leave again, more steely. Jaskier sighs. He puts his hand on Geralt's arm and shoves him towards the door. You have no doubt that Geralt allows Jaskier to move him, knowing that there’s no physical way Jaskier is strong enough to move him on his own. Jaskier turns back towards Ciri as he stands in the doorway. “Try to get him to eat, alright?”

Ciri doesn’t give any sign that she’s heard what he’s said or that she’s going to follow his direction. With that, Jaskier leaves and shuts the door behind himself.

You sigh from your fetal position, far more relieved to have them leave than you feel you should be. Actually feeling comfortable in this position, you’re reluctant to move. “You didn’t have to do that,” you tell Ciri, deciding not to face her.

“I did,” is all Ciri says in response. She sits in bed behind you, doing so slowly and softly so as not to jostle you. “You want some sleep?”

You hum, thinking. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, I suppose it wouldn’t,” Ciri agrees. “You can eat and change your cloth when you wake up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you joke lightly.

Ciri agrees again, shifting and wrapping her arms around you, curling up behind you. “I’ll be here when you wake up this time.”

You smile, shutting your eyes. “I’ll hold you to that.”

(NOT MY GIF)

Main Blog // Other Side Blog

((NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE EVEN WITH CREDIT))

[rottmntquotes]

The Best He Can

Okay, so maybe saying what Donnie said was a bit stupid and insensitive, even for his standards, and maybe using the tone that he did conveyed a message that he didn’t mean, and maybe, just maybe he should have paid attention to Leo’s body language as the words that flowed into the air continued to rise in volume and lower in mercy. He understood that now, and he was desperate to apologize to his twin, despite how terrible he was at it. When all had been said and done, when hearts had been broken, tears had fallen, and nothing was able to break the tension as Leo ran away, everyone else knew that it was time to do something.

‘Besides,’ Donnie thought to himself, ‘even though apologizing isn’t my strong suit, this can’t end up being that difficult, right? It’s Leo for crying out loud! He’ll be ready to forgive and forget in no time!’

And now, because of that train of thought, Donnie found himself standing underneath a large tree in the forest, his brothers and father(s) near for moral support. It was on the eighth branch that had a decent length- and a curiously steady hold despite how thin it was -where Leo hung upside down, and ‘Oh my god, when did our tails become prehensile?!’,  Donnie thought to himself. When he sensed his family near, Leo’s head pulled into his shell, along with his arms and legs, leaving only his shell and his- just barely visible tail -out in the open.

“I don’t want to talk to you! Leave me alone!” came Leo’s muffled shout, pain evident in his voice. “Go back home!”

Of course, Raph took this as a challenge, and he- being the sweetheart he is who is willing to do anything to keep his family happy -started to climb the tree, ignoring the words of protest he earned from the others. Every now and then, the words “You’re too heavy! The branch won’t hold!” would be spoken, but Raph responded with a very convinced claim of “I’m a ninja! If I can be Light As A Feather, I can balance myself on a branch!”

Splinter muttered an exasperated curse in Japanese under his breath, having become fed up with the stubbornness that was very clearly an inherited trait of the Hamato family. “Raphael! The branch is going to break! You may have advanced in your Ninjutsu, but you are still the size of a car!”

“Guys! Stop worrying!” Raph scoffed, finally making it to the branch that his upset brother dwelled. With slow and steady steps, Raph inched over to Leo, smirking smugly as he continued on without making the branch even creak. “Hey buddy... I know that you’re not feeling too happy right now, but I promise that Donnie is really super sorry about what he said.”

Leo hissed loudly, momentarily poking his head out to snarl at Raph before retreating into the dark sanctuary that was his shell. Raph huffed, moving closer and closer to Leo. Low warning growls were directed at Raph, but he pointedly ignored them, reaching out a hand to try and grip the edge of Leo’s Carapace. In one swift movement, Leo popped out of his shell, unwrapping his tail from the branch and hopping onto one higher up. The sudden movement caused the branch to break, sending Raph falling flat onto his face.

“I’m okay.” Raph mumbled, lifting his face and shaking the grass off his face. “So... maybe me going up there wasn’t the best idea.”

“Oh really? Who would have guessed?” Draxum scoffed, looking directly at Donnie. “You! Purple! You were the one who started this! Go up there and soothe your brother!”

“But I-”

“DO IT NOW!” Draxum’s order echoed through the forest, and Donnie yelped, activating the wings on his battle shell and flying up to gently land on the branch his brother was perched upon. With one final glance to Draxum, Donnie sneered before turning his full attention to Leo.

“Um... hey...?” Donnie muttered, clearly unsure of what he was supposed to do and say. Leo scoffed at the awkward attempt of an icebreaker, his tail wrapping around the branch as a warning that any wrong movement or word would send him straight back to his hiding position. “Well what do you want me to do?! You know how bad I am at this!”

“Yeah, I do, and you wouldn’t have to do it if you hadn't said what you did.” Leo turned his back to Donnie, pretending to stare out at a cloud that was coincidentally shaped like a rubber ducky. “All I did was pull a prank, bro. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, let alone you.”

Donnie frowned at the reminder, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “I know you didn’t, ‘Nardo, but...” Donnie took in a deep breath; if he was going to set things straight, he might was well do it with a clear head. ‘Tell the truth’ is what his mind constantly told him, and he intended to. “I wasn’t yelling at you, per se, nor was I trying to hurt you in any way.”

It was clear from the look on Leo’s face that his interest was piqued, and he finally turned to look at his twin. “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

“Do you remember that time we got our tongues stuck in those mouse traps?” Donnie asked. Leo nodded, a bit annoyed that his question was answered with a question, but trusting that he would get an actual answer soon enough. “It was a stupid dare that got us yelled at for nearly half an hour. I honestly remember it like it was yesterday; to tell you the truth, I swear that I’ve never seen dad’s veins that visible since.”

Leo snickered, smiling for a brief second before replacing it with a frown when Donnie looked his way. “Is there a point to this, or are you just trying to avoid the subject?”

“There is a point,” Donnie assured, “but I would get to it faster if you shut your snout.”

“I make no promises.” Leo quipped, slowly but surely unwrapping his tail from the branch. It wasn’t exactly an ‘I Forgive You’ gesture, but it was close enough to spur Donnie on.

“Well, to delay your inevitable chatter, I will ask one final question.” Donnie waited for the frustrated groan from Leo he was sure to receive. When it came, Donnie continued. “Do you remember why dad yelled at us like that?”

“I don’t remember the exact wording, but I’m pretty sure it was something along the lines of “I was more scared than angry. When I saw you two in pain, I couldn’t help but feel the need to protect you.” which is when he proceeded to ground us.” Leo recounted the event almost easily, a fond smirk appearing on his face. “But what does that have to do with... what you said?”

“When I yelled at you, I wasn’t upset. I was honestly kind of terrified...” Donnie paused, scratching at a bit of loose skin from the branch the two were settled upon. “You don't know how scary it was to see my own twin brother lying on his Carapace, covered in blood.”

“But it was fa-”

“I know that! But I didn't care! One of my biggest fears is losing you, all of you! I thought that I had left something out that had hurt you, that I was the reason why you were just... lying there... you looked so lifeless.” Donnie wiped away the streams of tears falling from his eyes. “Ugh, look at me... the guy who doesn’t understand feelings is sitting here crying because of some stupid prank pulled by his equally stupid-” Donnie cut himself off, remembering the words he’d uttered that started this mess.

“Go on, say it.” Leo huffed, his frown returning. “Say that I’m just as stupid as the prank.”

“No.” Leo looked up at the refusal, asking many silent questions with his wide eyes. “I’m not going to say it, because it isn’t true. You aren’t stupid. I was just upset, and when I get upset I get snappy.”

“Snappy? That’s what you’re calling it?” Leo asked in disbelief, giving a genuine snicker, which soon turned into a full-hearted laugh. For a while, Donnie watched Leo in confusion, wondering what was so funny. “Dude, you cannot tell me that you truly believe Snappy does what you said justice! Your face was as red as Raph’s mask! You looked like a freakin’ cherry!”

“Okay, I get it, ‘Nardo. You don’t need to ruin the mood.”

“Uh, what mood? This whole conversation has been as awkward as Dad’s relationship with Draxum!” An indignant scoff came from Donnie, and Leo barked out a laugh that left him coughing violently. “Don! Can’t breathe!”

Donnie groaned, drawing Leo close and massaging the back of Leo’s neck. A good minute or so passed, and Donnie had started to contemplate karate chopping Leo in the stomach, but Leo eventually stopped coughing. A loud sputter was shared between the twins, and they chuckled at the coincidence.

“So uh... am I forgiven?” Donnie asked, wanting desperately to be able to get home and disappear into his lab to try and forget this mess. Unfortunately for him, however, Leo was aware of this plan, and the mutant Slider gave a false hum. “Leo...”

“I’ll forgive you on one condition.” Leo chimed, looking directly into Donnie’s eyes. “You have to spend the rest of the night in the Apology Nest with me, where we will drink hot chocolate and watch cheesy B-Movies until we pass out.”

“I am not going to do that.”

“Then I’m not going to forgive you. What you said really hurt, Dee. I hope you at least realize that it’s a feat in itself to get me to forgive you for... y’know.” Leo lowered his gaze to the ground, where the rest of the family had sat down to talk about whatever. “It made me cry, Dee. Something that’s really hard to do, mind you.”

Donnie sighed heavily, weighing his options before deciding that, yes, he did owe Leo the Apology Nest treatment. Nothing could excuse what had happened in the lab earlier that day, and Donnie knew this. What he said was despicable, thoughtless, and heartless. Even if he meant none of it, he had no right to say it.

“Alright,” Donnie finally whispered, “I accept the conditions.”

“Good. And thanks.” Leo replied happily, standing up and balancing on the branch.

“What for?” Donnie raised a brow, standing up as well and holding Leo in a tight hug so that they could both safely float down to the ground. As they descended, Leo responded:

“For doing the best you can.”

[overdramaticly-dying]

Turtle-Dega Nights

This episode is probably my overall second favourite in the series!! I love the way Mikey and Donnie interact in this series (dare I say they’re my favourite duo?? B team all the way baby!!) and also the emotional development for Splinter?? And how this show approaches his relationship with his sons?? *chef’s kiss* Anywaysss, let’s talk about it:

-Splinter dreams of fighting a two-headed snake in his dream. Maybe this was just another memory of his in dream form, but dreaming of a two-headed snake usually means you need to work on cooperation and teamwork in some relationship, which sorta is related to the theme in this episode...

-You really get a sense for how much Splinter misses his humanity

-”iT WAS DONNIE- PUNISH HIM” (also rip Raph, who didn’t get a line in this ep)

-we all know Donnie’s username, but Mikey’s is ‘FLAVORTOWN’ and it’s really cute how much rise! leaned into the whole chef Mikey thing

-”278 days ago... you said ‘hi purple’... to Raph” ASDFGHJKLGD THATS A MOOD

-”play it cool, he might be possessed.” “You’re right, I always fall for this!” MIKEY WHAT???

-Mikey and Donnie trying to act cool is always the best thing in the world when they’ve both been called the softest of the group

-”I thought we were playing it cool”

-the rare Judgemental Mikey

-(sorry, Mikey is my fave, can you tell?)

-OK CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG ON THIS BC I CAN’T REMEMBER, BUT I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME DONNIE CALLS SPLINTER ‘DAD’??? Like he’s called him father etc before, but this is the first time I can remember him genuinely calling Splinter ‘dad’ without any hesitation...

-Mikey is skeptical from the moment Splinter begins asking abt defenses... the orange bean is smart

-Splinter has a booster seat

-Every shot where Donnie is happy is so blessed (but especially when Splinter nearly says he’s proud)

-But the fact that they made an entire episode addressing the few lines in ‘Bug Busters’ where Donnie states he feels like he doesn’t have parental approval is really amazing??? Like they set up a minor issue that could’ve been pushed aside as a joke, but they chose to use it for character development?? A+ writing

-”Cool cool cool, ABORT. we are in danger!”

-Yo, it was probably pretty traumatizing to see those rats for Mikey since, y’know, their dad is a rat??” 

-Splinter had those sunglasses ready to pull out the moment they arrived

-”He not only doesn’t like us, but I kind of broke his heart!” “What have you boys been up to?” (Splinter’s fathering side takes over long enough to question wtf his children are doing)

-The whole argument between Donnie and Splinter feels so genuine and real, something that’s hard to do in a cartoon without coming across as forced. But it honestly fits with the episode perfectly and feels so real... and it feels like an argument a teen has with their parent...

-That’s not even mentioning the animation during this scene, the small movements, the way Donnie is genuinely crying- like you can actually see his tears forming??? the way he looks hopeful and almost smiles when Splinter said he brought them because he wanted to spend time with them before looking away???

-HOW HE LOOKS AWAY AND HESITATES BEFORE HE CALLS SPLINTER DAD???

-Also Mikey being reasonable and freaking out during this scene is completely valid someone help this orange child

-”YES! GREAT IDEA! LET’S GET OUT OF HERE”

-The running mentions of Splinter not being a tiger is really funny considering who he played in the last tmnt show, but it’s always brought up in emotionally distressing moments (Like in ‘Shadow of Evil’)

-”Proud! proud? you were gonna say proud- why do you keep stopping it right before-”

-Mikey slightly hides behind Donnie when Big Mama comes out.

-Donnie put shields on the tank after ‘The Mutant Menace’- it’s cool how it shows he improves the tank once he sees a need for it

-the whole fight scene is super fun to watch

-THE HUG

-that little sigh that Splinter gives when he sees his sons??? Like he realizes that he’s satisfied with his life cuz he loves them????

-”DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT???” (but honestly 100% relatable reaction)

-freakin flower petals instead of confetti?? it’s a cool touch since it shows that yokai are more in touch with nature?? (or maybe they just wanted it to look like Ouran HSHC, who knows)

tl;dr THIS EPISODE IS AMAZING??? One of my favourite things about Rise! is their focus on relationships- especially Splinter and the boys. Also this episode brings back a lot of points from previous episodes, which is really cool, since it shows that it’s focused on not only keeping track of major plot points and storylines, but also on character development and on building family relationships that feel real...

(also sorry, I think I focused too much on Mikey considering this was a Donnie ep, but also no, because Mikey is precious and deserves that attention)

Thanks @dabibliophile​ for the ask!!!

[willowaudreykeyes]

35!!

Ramble about any fic related thing that you want!

Anon, your a sweetheart, you know that?

I’ve been slowly writing for Rise Of The TMNT because I’ve been a Ninja Turtles fan since I saw the first live action movie when I was a toddler (yeah i mean the 1990′s one) and this cartoon version is just... perfect.

The four actually act like brothers again! And they’re different kinds of turtles! Raph is a Snapping Turtle, Leo is a Red-Eared Slider, Mikey is a Box Turtle and Donnie is a Softshell Turtle. And they’re still brothers because they were mutated with Splinters DNA (i cant say how because spoilers)

It starts out with Raphael being the leader since he’s the oldest brother (canonically 15) and he still has his anger issues, but that’s also not his only character trait. He’s the big brother, the protector, the over-bearing but loving brother who gets mad when someone messes with those he cares about. He baby talks animals and goes a little easy on his brothers sometimes while still having issues with his anger! It’s not his only personality trait anymore!

And with Leo not having the role of a leader shoved in his face every ten seconds, he is super chill and has fun with his life and makes puns! He’s the punny one! No one understands how happy this makes me. He can still step up to the plate and be serious when need be, but mostly he’s the ‘Face Man’ as he calls himself, of the group. He’s charming, silly and yet still has the ‘am i enough?’ issues as his other versions have.

Now Donnie? Donatello. Donald. Othello Von Ryan (yes that is an alias of his and I adore it). He is sarcastic, has issues with his emotions, always trying to impress the others, while also trying to get them to read a gosh darn book once in their lives that isn’t a comic book- Anyway, he’s not just ‘shy nerd’ anymore but someone who is a nerd BUT ALSO has other traits! Like his need for approval without actively voicing it, his love of dancing, getting too excited and forgetting what he was supposed to be doing, remembering something by making it into a song- I adore him. And he has similar things as I do with emotions, which is probably also Alexithymia and just *screams into the void with happiness*

Mikey isn’t the only silly one anymore, so what does that make him? The heart. He’s still the youngest and he’s also the cook, the optimistic brother, the naive one, the one who gets scared the easiest. But he isn’t always a happy bundle of joy 24/7 anymore! He gets mad, he gets upset, and he shows it! He stands up for his brothers when need be! He jokes about replacing Donnie once or twice- 

These boys are finally real brothers and I adore it so flipping much. Splinter is probably the largest change. He is a father first, teacher fifth. Instead of raising them to practically be mini-soldiers from the day he has them, he treats them like children. He calls them by their colours most of the time because names be hard. He misses the good ol’ days but also wouldn't trade his sons for anything. This guy is finally a father and it is so nice. Best rat dad.

Even April O’Neil and Casey Jones are different! April is African American, who doesn’t always need saving and is more like a big sister to the Turtles as she's known them since they were kids. Casey is first off, a girl AND she’s Asian. No racial stereotyping either! April is just a happy girl from New York who cares about the Turtles. Casey is... well that’s spoilers. 

Shredder is different and unique, the enemies are unique, the style and places are unique. Gosh, they even have two of the villains become boyfriends! Yes, two male cartoon characters are canonically dating. And they dote on each other. While also fighting the Turtles. And others. I love them.

The community is amazing, the headcanons are amazing, just... I love it. I heard that more episodes and even a movie could be coming out!?!? So I am just in love!?!? 

Then I added Willow to the mix! Genderfluid, Asexual, Italian-American 15yr old with lots of trauma and no family. I threw her at the Turtles, where she’ll find a family, a best friend and eventually a boyfriend (it’s a REALLY long burn too). She’s also got magic. And touch starvation and insomnia and is afraid of certain bugs-

There’s so much to this freaking series and I cannot wait to add my lil canon-compliant AU to it. I haven’t posted anything about it because I like stocking up my multi-chapters before posting but gosh- I really hope this fixation stays around for a long time. I am in LOVE with this series!

[monkey-network]

My Problems with Mr. Enter

This one’s gonna be a first for the channel. As much as I’m not the type to be talking about other people in detail, permit me if you will, to go on a rant about one of the most infamous youtubers in the cartoon analytical community.

To preface this, yes, I was a fan of Mr. Enter. Even after this post, I’ll say that I at least still have some respect for Enter regardless of his personal viewpoints. Honestly if it weren’t for him, probably wouldn’t have become an analyst myself. Then again, even as a fan, I can say that Enter wasn’t the greatest of youtuber both production wise and his critiques. Also, I understand that most of what I point out is that of his opinions, I’m just pointing out patterns from him that I’ve noticed from him and people’s ire towards him. Less to say, this has been a longtime coming, so let’s not beat around the bush

Negative to Nothing New

I think my biggest gripe with Enter’s philosophy of reviews is that he fell into this annoying well of believing that almost everything in a cartoon needs to be unique, having typical writing cliches and typical writing conventions down-trots the show’s quality for him. And I don’t have a problem with this in theory, I’m not a fan of conventional shows like family sitcoms and I’m only interested if they’re able to put a clever spin on the dynamic like with Bob’s Burgers. But the problem arises when he conveys what a majority can consider an average show as not great over simple tropes. His reviews nowadays feel more like Cinemasins and Lily Orchard where going to twitter and TV tropes is all you need to break down why a show or episode isn’t great.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with this on paper, but it gives off a “You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all” mentality that many are no doubt not gonna vibe with because yeah, 100% originality isn’t gonna happen with every show you watch but even then, it always feels like any overused cliches/tropes are a bane to his experience, regardless of context, and has to accentuate that these shows aren’t great because they’re cliched. Like the Mighty B! is annoyingly bad because Bessie is the zany, clumsy goof like Spongebob and many like him or that it’s flash animated. Or the Rise of the TMNT ain’t great because Splinter’s the pathetic slob of a dad like FamGuy. Or 12 Oz. Mouse is bad because of it’s “lazy” style. Of course people aren’t gonna like that you bog ideas down to basics if they’ve seen that there’s more to them. 

If there’s one thought I had since his Hey Arnold review, it’s that Enter basically wants every cartoon to be like Hey Arnold or shows he finds on par with it. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, I say he shouldn’t be so hard on his tastes to expect every show to not be any derivative of others. I’ve had my doubts on the Owl House and Victor & Valentino, thinking they’re Gravity Falls wannabes, but I’ve come to see them individually and judge them as they are, and I’ve come to like them as they are after a few episodes because reviews should be about seeing where a show finds its own footing. Not everything can live up to the best shows and that’s fine. 

Negative to Nothing Admirable

I say he needs to produce more Admirable Animations. Not because I’m sick of him shitting on shows, but I feel he needs to give people more of what he wants from the animation industry. People are slowly turning on him because his negativity outweighs the positivity. Not saying he needs to force it, but I think people have gotten tired of him being spiteful towards things they like while not giving a better perspective on what he likes. Dude only has around 60 videos sharing what he thinks are truly great in his eyes, the 58th and the 57th Admirable video he made are almost a whole year apart. It’s clear he can see the good in some things, his review on ‘The Shell’ from Gumball is one of my favorites from him, but he does it so rarely that people will often overlook it in favor of only seeing him as the pissy cartoon critic. 

And yeah, this is coming from a critical nobody that’s mostly tries to review things positively but it’s because I want to see the good of what I’m seeing while acknowledging personal or objective setbacks. When I created ‘The Best’ series, I did it because while I mostly review stuff I enjoyed, I try to share with people what I consider to be universally valuable to me. 

Enter needs to take a break from diving into the Atrocities and if it’s difficult exploring the truly good stuff, that is the point. Finding the greatest works imaginable can take plenty of time, especially if you’re not ankle-beez levels of impressionable, but if he’s genuinely serious about being a critic while making his own show as a creator, he needs to make time.

Negative to Nothing Special

I’m not a fan of the idea of a “cartoon community” because I’m alone and evil, but I can see where things have changed since the cartoon community has grown past dogpiling on Teen Titans GO! and thinking The Emoji Movie is worst than the Emu war. In this era, I’d say the community wants to celebrate the good things that are coming out while giving people some insight on obscure media. Enter does the latter, but at the same time you get the feeling unless it’s something he wants to do, he won’t be as into it as we’d believe. I’d say if there’s anything about his whole Nick-O-Ramen marathon it’s that you could see him getting burnt out with it in the latter half during the 2010s era, especially when some of his takes on certain cartoons were not up to code and people were calling him out on it.

Said this before at the time, but he shouldn’t just treat a show as bad because everything about it didn’t click with him, especially when it seems he was making these reviews up as he gone on. He’s entitled to his opinions, but when his takes don’t add up they can either rile up viewers that saw more than what he did or fool people into believing his word. I don’t think all of his reviews were terrible, I honestly found his reviews on Catdog, MvA, and Mr. Meaty to be alright even if the 7 people that like Catdog might disagree. But with his takes on El Tigre, Rise of the TMNT, Tuff Puppy, and Welcome to the Wayne, it mostly sums to trying to blame the show for not being to his liking. Either that or condescendingly trying to say the show was alright, but doesn’t hold up as well. It doesn’t help that he essentially deflected the criticisms down to pure apathy. So when all is said and done, what were we to take away from all those reviews? Basically gave us pencils with no point beyond their existence. Compare this to his critique on Extra Credits, where it honestly felt like he was passionate in those videos. Or again, his Admirable Animation videos where he actually puts effort into sharing why he liked that stuff in particular.

As many I’ve seen said, stuff like his Nick marathon was a little more than he could chew and exposed how much he himself will insincerely generalize for the viewer base, all in bad faith. As a result, it’s tiring. He’s kinda the textbook example of “your face will stick if you frown too long.” You see one angry review from Enter, you practically have seen them all soon enough. Back then, it was alright. Now it’s cliched.

Conclusion

To put this into perspective, I don’t think Mr. Enter is the worst of Youtube; I’ve seen Moviebob and The Unknown Otaku. I don’t agree with some of his views both with fiction and reality, but I’m a big boy that can tolerate other people who aren’t actively terrible. When I get down to it, I feel Mr. Enter is shrouded in negativity and bitterness. Not just from his detractors or the shows he watches, but from a perceived outlook. Maybe it’s because while I’m evil and tired, I’m more optimistic, but I feel Enter needs a change in his critique game. He should put his grounding more into what he enjoys and less of what he needs to dislike because the hate he tries to preach has gotten tired and old at this point. I looked at his vid on Thundercats Roar and I just clicked off after a few minutes. Not because it was terrible, but it honestly was just parroting what other people have said on twitter as it came out. John has put more than enough time into screaming about how bad cartoons and society can be, I just believe showcasing more positive things can not only balance things out, but show people that there’s more to him than his bitching.

I know he won’t see this, but I just wanted to get this off the chest after seeing a 2 hour video on why he sucked a few months ago. And I felt rather than just calling him an erectile atrocity, I’d share my thoughts on Enter as a whole because I feel like he can do better with his content. Again, it’s not that he’s the worst out here, but he needs to stop retreading his old ruts. Dude needs to get out of his shadows.