#and right-wing parties have decided to appeal to emotions over facts lately

[awkward-teabag]

Sadly this won't happen until after countless innocent people fall victim to it and generations are screwed, 'cause yeah, it's an easy play—appeal to racism and xenophobia for votes and so people don't have to think about the cause of their problems actually being capitalism and (largely) white men.

Because we do need immigration and have needed it for a long time.

Housing? That's Canada's top GDP industry by several percent. That's average since it varies provincially but BC's was 17.7% in 2023. The second highest sector was construction at 10.3%. We have a ton of housing already, the problem is private companies and individuals being able to buy up most of the new supply as it comes out.

Canada's real estate is also used as a tax haven like Panama and the Bahamas are used by companies and rich individuals to avoid paying taxes. It's also used to transfer large sums of money and launder money, something at least the previous BC Liberal government knew about and was fine with.

Then came the construction boom where private developers were building around AirBnB and that whole can of worms and people buying "investment property" on a bubble.

The supply is there—dare I say we have an excess of supply—it's just in private hands and a faux scarcity is used to keep prices high.

---

Education? Education is one of those sectors that governments slash funding for to make up lowering taxes or increasing funding elsewhere so the budget still looks balanced and that the government looks like it knows its finances (and that the previous government looks like it was bad/hiding money).

Thing is, though, post-secondary institutions have to make up the funding cuts in some way. There are laws they have to follow when increasing tuition for Canadian students but no such laws exist for international students, so they court international students more and more. There's even predatory cottage industries that have popped up to make it easier and to spread propaganda that Canada is where people want to go... so long as the "recruiters" get a cut of it.

---

Jobs? Foreign workers are used to keep wages down across the board and funnel more money up. Abuse of it by companies actually goes back to at least 2013. Yes Trudeau expanded it but it was Harper who expanded it first in 2006; it was Paul Martin or Jean Chretien who changed it to included "low-skill work" as, up until that point, it was aimed at high-skilled work such as recruiting foreign doctors.

The Wikipedia page on it has dozens of citations for anyone interested and the controversies section is more than double the synopsis, history, and employment sections combined. Wage suppression and increased unemployment comes up time and again in the cited articles.

One of my favourites is the one that says 65% of the net new jobs in Saskatchewan from 2008-2011 were held by foreign workers. You know, a time period where there was a right-wing provincial government and a right-wing federal government and Justin Trudeau was years away from being prime minister.

---

Healthcare? Much like education, it gets treated as a piggy bank to make budgets seem balanced and decades of it being treated as such has resulted in poorer and poorer services. There's also an effort, intentional or otherwise, to make is bad enough so people will accept two-tier or privatized healthcare. That has nothing to do with immigration and everything to do with wanting to privatize national services.

---

It's easy to blame Trudeau and encourage racism and xenophobia for the votes, something Poilievre and conservative parties are very much doing, but this has been in the works for decades and the is the result of unfettered capitalism and neoliberal policies at the provincial and federal level for those decades.

The main thing is the whole thing is finally and very visibly collapsing in a way that its effects can be felt by more than just "kids" but instead of addressing long-standing issues or how multiple governments propped those systems up, more and more bodies are being thrown at it in an attempt to keep it going so nothing has to change.

But you don't see many people concerned about why that is or how unsustainable the systems are. Instead you see people thinking it's immigrants who started it all (with some conspiracies going so far as to say it's a collective effort by foreign governments to destabilize Canada and the immigrants are in on it), often paired with it only becoming an issue in 2015 for some mysterious reason. /s

Can't wait til the people complaining about the "impacts" of immigration learn the hard way that immigration was never the problem 🤭. Everything's still going to be bad, folks!

~~~~

[artificialqueens]

Hold On To Me Chapter 12 {biadore} - imafuckinglibra

Idk how to intro this so let’s all just do a collective miss vaaAAANJjiee. Okay now, Chapter 12. Yay. Bc I like numbers ending in 0 or 5 I’m very tempted to end this fic on 15 but we’ll see (probably not wops) I had a beta this time which was cool thanks for the help babe. And other than that we have some hurt, some fluff and some smut so enjoy bitches. K bye.

“When’s the last time you saw him? Or was that it?” Detox peeked out from behind her mirror with one eye already lined, too intrigued by the story of how Danny ran out of Roy’s classroom to finish the other.

“No.” Roy desperately, with his head back, downed the last of his mocktail. He was over this no alcohol rule his doctor put on him. In the words of the nosey Detox - he’s had it. Officially. “Yesterday I saw him and some…douchebag, making out.”

“Ooh…ouch.” The other queens getting ready with Detox’s reaction echoed throughout the room.

“Yeah.” He somberly nodded dropping his gaze to his now empty glass.

After Danny ran out he tried going after him to explain but the teen was quicker than expected. His inhumanly long legs carrying him much faster than the injured Roy could ever keep up with.

He tried calling endlessly afterwards getting the number from Shane, he even tried from Shane’s phone a few times eventually even calling his mother when Danny hadn’t shown up to school two days in a row following the incident.

The only other option he considered was actually going to his home to confront him and declare his love and more importantly explain that everything was some horribly fucked up misunderstanding.

That was until Danny finally showed up that Thursday with Dan, or as he had decided on calling him, Milk, with his arm around him.

Just the sight of someone else clinging onto the boy he loved so much broke his already cold heart into a million unmendable pieces. But finding them at the end of the day disgustingly lip locked in the hallway pressed up against Danny’s locker really pushed him over the edge.

After that he was unconsolable. He threw things in his house, breaking furniture, paintings, anything within reach before he collapsed onto his couch a complete and utter mess.

He had never felt so helplessly alone, so lost in despair and heartbreak that nothing seemed worth it anymore.

He had started debating if the main character Alfred Jones from the book his juniors were assigned, Doctor Fischer of Geneva or The Bomb Party, had the right idea after losing his wife.

He had lost his own Anna-Luise and that glass of whiskey laced with prescription pain medication to take away all the agony had started looking more and more appealing by the passing hour.

Lucky for him the friends he had previously hated for putting him in this predicament was still there by his side, Shane and Raja, helping him pick up the pieces. What pieces they could that is.

Alas the show must go on…

He had returned to school the next morning avoiding any interactions or even having to look at Danny or his new apparent boyfriend.

Acting completely on auto pilot, an emotionless robot as he went about his day. Sure it’s been a while since he’s dated but he never remembered feeling this way, this shattered.

He did his duties, assigned homework, ate his lunch alone in the same excruciating silence he had grown so accustomed to and when faced with Danny in day to day life he shut down further. Blanking out completely to avoid facing the inevitable heart break creeping in again.

He even somewhere in his robotic haze accepted his friends’ invitation to their show. He didn’t exactly feel in the mood for drag, both his injuries and his heart were still too sore to put on a gown and go be productive which is how he ended up here, watching his friends getting ready while he read a book.

“Wait was the guy he was face sucking with like really tall and pale? And gorgeous?” Detox, now with both eyes winged, popped out again.

“Why? One of your discarded trash?” He snarled in her direction.

“Moewr, but no. Willam mentioned it’s his late birthday party tonight and that they had to organize a date for him.” She started digging through her phone that was laying on the table next to the endless amount of powder foundations. “This guy.”

Roy got up to take hold of the phone. Examining the photo lit up on the screen of the one and only, big and milky in an ice skating outfit. “That’s the one.”

The one asshole who’s teeth he wanted to kick in so hard he’d have to stick a brush up his ass to clean them.

He was a pretentious douche who acted above everything and anyone just because mommy and daddy were some kind of lawyers who raised a spoilt brat.

“So then it’s like an arranged thing? It’s not a real thing.” Courtney tried reassuring bringing him a glass of what he hoped was wine and not just grape juice. “One glass can’t hurt right?”

“Thank you Jesus.” He took the much needed alcohol and threw his head back after taking a big swig savoring the taste and feel of it burning slightly down his throat.

“He wouldn’t have been that mad if he didn’t care or was planning on going to find a new man, right?” Raja chimed in. She had a point.

“He’s a teenager, Raj, their brains wor…” His rebuddle got interrupted by a loud ringing coming from Courtney’s bosom.

“That’s something you don’t see every day…” Detox got up pointing to Courtney. “Behold the great vibrating slut. Latest in technology.”

“Shut up.” Roy growled in the very obviously drunk Detox’s direction keeping his focus on Courtney.

“It’s Danny.” Courtney went pale even through the multiple layers of make up when she pulled the ringing device out and looked at the screen.

“Why would he?” Roy tried grabbing the phone from her hand but she was quicker than him and answered it.

All the other queens immediately came running to circle them, the room dead silent as everyone eagerly tried to listen in on their conversation.

“Daniela?” Courtney carefully spoke.

“Is he there!?” Her phone didn’t even need to be on speaker to hear Danny’s yelling over some incredibly loud music and cheering.

“Who? Roy? Yeah, right here.”

“Put him on!” He nearly screamed.

Hesitantly handing the phone to Roy they could hear some very loud screeching coming from the other end.

“Danny?” Roy spoke, his heart pounding out of his chest getting ready for an earful and a half.

“Roy? Roy! Where are you?”

“At the club? Listen I…what’s wrong? Why are calling? Are you okay?” Recognizing the panic in his voice made his already racing heart speed up tenfold.

Shit this was not good. Flashbacks of the last time Danny called like this replaying on a never ending loop in his mind.

“No…” The soft sob could barely be heard. “I’ll wait at the same 7-11 as last time just please come get me I…I don’t know who else, who else to call. Hurry please.”

Shit!

In a moment of sheer panic Roy dropped his wine, not even bothering to acknowledge it as he grabbed his keys and rushed to his car before anyone could stop him.

He didn’t need any more motivation. Danny needed him.

-

He shouldn’t have listened to Chris.

‘Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!’ Danny cursed his friend and his ‘ingenious’ plan from the previous day, replaying the conversation in his mind while he waited for Roy.

Maybe he shouldn’t have called him but he was desperate and it was too late to turn back now.

It’s a long walk, and the music is loud. She sees an old friend, as she walks through the crowd. Puts on her best smile, but underneath it she’s a broken girl…

The deep voice of Justin Warfield filled the confined space he was in. After running out of the classroom halfway through the day he made a beeline straight home.

He’s never been a runner, he hates running, he hates exercise in general let’s face it - but that day he ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him away from anything Roy Haylock.

But that was nearly 3 days ago.

He’ll never get you, he will never understand. He’ll never get you, you can find a better man.

The singer repeated as the pace and volume of both his singing and the music picked up every time he sang those two sentences, repeating them in a seemingly never ending loop.

“You know you can’t run away from him forever, babe.” Chris tried comforting his friend over the phone attached to the dash as Danny turned down the music.

The minute Danny laid eyes on his best friend on the screen over facetime all the emotions he had been holding back pushed their way through the wall he built.

It was good though, it was what he needed. He needed to get it all out before he pulled into the parking lot of his school and had to face Roy. No.

Mr Haylock.

From now on their relationship was strictly teacher/student. Nothing else.

He had decided that while taking a bath day 2 of his wallowing. It was too painful to return to school where he’d have to face his former love especially in the same place that he had found his love with the man he hated most in the world.

Raja Gemini. Fuck his real name, the less he knew of this queen the better.

He couldn’t continue his depression fueled mini vacation for too long though. His mom had caught on to his fake illness being well, fake, and forced him back to school after apparently one of his teachers called.

She even sweetend the deal by letting him use her car while she was away with Jerry for the weekend to a wedding for one of Jerry’s cousins or something. He honestly wasn’t paying attention.

Like an aimless zombie wandering through the house anything someone told him went in one ear and straight out the other thanks to his liquified brain.

He didn’t want to think, about anything. About school, about music, about weddings - everything led back to Roy. And Roy was the one topic too excruciatingly painful to ever think of.

“I can actually.” Danny retorted in a very ‘matter of fact’ tone pulling up to a stop sign.

“You know you’re just being a total cliched Libra and avoiding conflict right? But you’ll need to suck it up and just do it sooner or later.” Dammit why did Chris have to be right.

“He’s a Cancer.” Danny added softly hoping if he could change the topic to astrology Chris would let it go. Which he didn’t.

“So he’s feeling even more shitty than you then!”

“Maybe.” He was right. Again. “I’m hanging up on you.”

“Why? Because I’m totally right?” Chris shook his head with his lips pursed to the side in Danny’s usual chola manner.

“Totally.” He scoffed.

“What about a little bit of revenge?” Chris offered taking a big sip from the long skinny straw of his Starbucks.

Spoken like a true Sagittarius, if he was Chris he’d had already forgotten about Roy and moved on. Maybe he should think like a Sagittarius once in a while though? So what? Roy obviously didn’t care about him?

“Go on?”

“Yay.” Chris eagerly clapped his hands like an excited school girl. “Okay so you’re going with that Dan guy tomorrow night right?”

‘Ugh gross.’ He internally rolled his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“First of all, he got a nice ass?” Chris’ smile grew and he wiggled his eyebrows making Danny laugh for the first time in days.

“You’re such an ass whore! Oh my god!” He squealed before throwing a dirty look at someone in a red convertible cutting past him.

“Am not! Danny!” Chris’s smile fell into a very offended look as he drew Danny’s name out in a long whine. “I’m emotionally charged to their eyes. You know that I’m not like that.”

“She’s emotionally charged to that ass.”

“Whatever. Babe…it’s fucking obvious though. Maybe like flirt a little with Dan, make it look all cute with him and totally get back at Professor ‘two birds one dick’.”

He couldn’t, no way. He didn’t even like Dan he just exuded cockiness that was a total turnoff for anyone with eyes. No way.

And Roy…he couldn’t hurt Roy. Oh god, here comes that all too familiar heavy chest feeling. The pulling in his heart yearning for Roy causing his eyes to water up again.

He missed him. Life without him just felt so empty, so worthless.

He shook his dangerous downward spiral off and hung up on his friend blowing him a kiss first as pulled into a parking spot next to Aaron.

‘Fuck my life, fuck it hard.’ He sighed to himself spotting an all to familiar milky brunette standing with the others.

“You are so beautiful I could die, especially when you’re singing like ugh, your voice is just to die for.” Dan rambled on, trapping Danny with his arms on either side of his shoulders against his locker.

“Uh…thanks, man.” He nervously smiled. His mother raised him better, if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.

Oh but he really, really wanted to say something.

“Yeah like it just speaks to me you know.” Dan leaned his head down closer towards him, clearly not picking up on the obvious hint that he did not want to kiss him as he was backing up further into the painted metal locker.

“Like really, really speaks to me.” He breathed his disgusting warm breath against his lips sending icky chills down Danny’s spine right before their lips made contact.

‘Roy. Roy. Roy…’ The name kept repeating in his mind hoping if he chanted it enough he’d magically summon his knight in shining slacks.

Sure enough he did.

‘Oh no.’ His plan backfired when he suddenly saw how this would look from Roy’s perspective.

He had found Roy hugging his friend I mean that’s nothing compared to this right? One thing was for shit sure. Roy catching him pressed up against a locker with his hands tightly gripping each side of Dan’s jacket to try and push him off as Dan pressed his thigh between his legs definitely was not going to look good.

‘Roy.’ He tried silently calling him back when all the older man did was turn in another direction with an expressionless face. He could feel the tears bubbling up again from seeing the man he loved so hollow. ‘Roy, please.’

-

The drive there was such an unsure haze Roy was amazed he actually pulled into the right 7-11 parking lot or into a 7-11 at all. He must’ve broken at least 50 laws getting there but fuck it, he made it.

He saw Danny pacing with his arms crossed furiously clutching each side of the opposite bicep. Only taking a break from his pacing to take a long drag from his half burnt out cigarette.

“Daniel!” He jumped out of his car running towards him. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

Before he got too close Danny spotted him, turning in his direction as what seemed like a well of never ending tears came flooding out. “Fuck you!”

“Yeah,” He snorted nodding. “You said that already what else is new?” Roy’s sorrow and fear was slowly turning into rage.

Why was he being this douche? This wasn’t like him at all, this wasn’t the Danny he knew or fell in love with. He wasn’t ever hostile, he was sweet and caring and sure he was feisty but at least within reason.

“Is that really why you called me here? To tell me to go fuck myself? Really queen?”

“No! It wasn’t.” Danny threw his cigarette away and stomped towards Roy, catching him off guard by grabbing hold of each side of his beautifully dimpled cheeks with his ice cold lanky fingers. His glossy hazel eyes staring directly into his soul. “I fucking hate you, I hate you Roy.”

“Then why call me.” Roy’s voice cracked, he was trying to put on the most put together facade all week but he couldn’t. He was a mess.

Even more now knowing that Danny, who had clearly moved on, was holding him like this for presumably the last time. Just this skin on skin contact he so longed for threw the armor he had built up right out the window.

“Because I was scared and alone and fucked up and the only person I wanted to be with was you…” Danny let go of him and turned, walking away from him to wipe his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“Well you have a fucking hell of a way of showing it. It’s been a week and you won’t even answer my calls? What the fuck?”

What was this? Heartbreak? Anger? Loss? Everything crashing down on him all at once in such a muddled mess he couldn’t even recognize what he was feeling.

“Like you really even cared.”

Roy shook his head and turned around to head back to his car. Fuck this. Halfway to his escape he stopped dead in his tracks, he needed to know one last thing.

“Why didn’t you call…It. That thing you were sucking face with.” There it was. The last nudge that pushed him straight into blind rage.

He said it was such a strained voice that it completely rattled Danny’s entire world.

Clearly having struck a nerve Roy watched Danny’s pale expression turn bright red. “Oh! Oh! You’re one to fucking talk!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Open relationship remember. You know,” Danny pulled another cigarette somewhere out of his military jacket’s pocket. “You always do this, ever since the hotel room even, even before that you lead me on and then, of course because I’m so fucking stupid, I fall for you! And then you just break my heart moving on without ever really giving a fuck about me, huh?”

“You are fucking stupid, Danny!” Roy shouted at the top of his lungs, hoping it would make Danny’s bullshit ramblings stop so he could finally speak.

“Fuck you!” Danny screamed loud enough that probably even the family of four trying to eat their dinner in China heard. “And fuck Raja!”

“Raja? Raja!? This is about Raja!” He probably looked like a fucking lunatic when he suddenly threw his arms in the air in defeat as he started laughing. “Danny…Raja is even dumber than you are!”

“Oh thanks I feel so loved.” Danny rolled his eyes lighting the cigarette he just pulled out. “You’re so fucking selfish you know that? No wonder you’re alone…oh wait, you’re not! You have Raja! You’ve had Raja all along!”

“You ignorant fucking brat!” Roy took a step closer furiously gesturing with his hands ready to wrap his fingers around Danny’s pulsing neck.

“Tell me I’m wrong then! Tell me I wasn’t just some young side meat you wanted to use any way that suited you to cheer up your pathetic little life.”

‘This. Fucking. Bitch.’ Roy thought being left speechless simply standing there staring at him.

If only he knew how much his words were hurting him, how much every snarl was like an jab straight through his chest.

Actually he knew exactly how painful his words were, even saying them hurt Danny. Having to resort to yelling and screaming at the man he loved when the only thing he wanted to do was be held by him. It was killing him.

Rotting him slowly to the core, destroying everything left of him every time Roy clapped back.

“You are so fucking wrong!” He gave up with a sigh, dropping his hands defeatedly to his side. ”You want to know why? Get it in the car.” 

Roy walked back to his Mercedes opening the passenger side for Danny first and furiously pointing at the seat. “In, Noriega!”

‘Is he being serious? Get in his car? Fuck no.’ Danny continued his internal freak out.

Pondering if this was some kind of rouse to lure him into his car to pull a bad 80’s gangster movie inspired stint and drive him to a deserted location to murder him. Especially now after their little verbal sparring match.

Reluctantly Danny stomped to the car as if his boot clad feet had a of life of their own, mumbling something about hating his treacherous body for betraying him like this as he slumped into the elegant black car.

Roy’s hands holding the steering wheel with such a tight vice grip his tan knuckles turned white.

He should’ve known it would be Raja that was at the bottom of this mess wether he knew it or not.

He had to repeatedly remind himself of his friend’s good intentions and how he’d been there to help him otherwise he probably would’ve strangled him with as much ferocity as he was gripping his wheel.

If he had just fucking killed Raja like he had promised years ago, but no. He just had to grow a heart and give that little amazing, kind hearted weasel a chance to burrow himself a comfy little home.

“Raja! Raven!” Roy stormed in backstage, all the queens still at their tables painting their faces jumping up in unison like one fucked up Mexican wave when he threw the door open.

“Is everything okay? Where’s Danny? Is he…” Raja followed Roy’s pointing and spotted the awkward teen standing outside against the car’s door and ran towards him. “Danny! Hi! Listen I can completely explain everything, okay.”

“Why am I here?” Danny looked over to Roy with a very annoyed expression.

“Because you got into my car, despite your whole ‘I hate you’ speech. So It’s either because you want to kill him that badly or me. Which is it?”

“Neither…” Danny’s rage seemed to have dwindled and the teen was left looking down at his hands, fiddling with his nails’ chipped paint. “I didn’t, I told you I was alone and just needed you.”

Through his earlier rage blinding him Roy had completely missed all the signs. His disheveled make up that was running down his flushed cheeks, his brightly colored vomit stained pants, the bruised knuckles slowly turning blue and purple…

“It was your party.” He thought out loud. Roy’s harsh tone now gone as he hesitantly stepped closer, as if carefully approaching a wounded animal. “Danny…where’s Dan? What happened?”

“Chris didn’t show up like he was supposed to and…Dan, he’s been like really I don’t know. He’s super gross. He like stalked my YouTube page and he wanted to keep making out but never actually talk to me. So when he tried making a move earlier I punched him.” He shivered at the memory with his eyes still on his hand examining the bruising around his knuckles, flinching when he tried wiggling his little finger. “And then I called you.”

“Why me? Why if you hate me so much did you call me?” Roy was now right in front of him looking up into those beautiful, still puffy eyes.

“I don’t hate you.” He admitted with a croak before the tears from earlier resumed. “But you shouldn’t be with him. I hate you because you’re with him! Not me! It should be me!”

There it was. They say once you name something you give it power.

Now it made sense.

He had given his greatest fear the chance to escape and outed it to the world and now there was absolutely no going back. The realization that Roy was no longer his leaving him an empty shell of what he once was.

Roy stepped closer quickly grabbing he sobbing boy just as he collapsed into the same broken mess he had been just a day earlier.

Holding him tightly keeping said shattered shell together, his toned arms around him being the only comfort Danny would ever need again

“It is you. It’s only you, it’s never been anyone else but you…” Roy shushed him holding him tightly caressing his head with his fingers tangled between the messy dark brunette mop.

“But I saw…” He looked up at Raja, the incredibly tall queen still standing by the back door of the club clutching her pearls.

“But you didn’t think.” Raja intervened with an almost motherly voice.

“Raj,” Roy spoke up with the most composed tone he’s managed all night shaking his head. “Not now.”

Raja nodded with a faint smile and went back into the club, leaving the pair alone once again.

“Come on, back in the car.” Roy ordered reaching behind Danny to open the door for him.

-

“Alright. Let’s get you cleaned up first and then we’ll talk about this okay? Sound like a plan?” Roy clapped his hands together as if he was addressing his class.

He had brought Danny back to his apartment so they’d have a safe space to discuss everything, hopefully calmer than earlier.

At least if things did get as vocal as in the parking lot they wouldn’t have to worry about breaking anything, Roy already took care of that earlier and swept the proof under the rug.

“Yeah.” Danny nodded with a whisper. He was dead silent the whole ride home, not once even acknowledging Roy or where he was bringing him.

The older never even pushed him to open up either, instead he just held his shaking hand in his rubbing the back of it lazily with his thumb. He knew all to well that once you opened that flood gate and had to verbalize your feelings you had to relive them.

Even just thinking about the torment Danny must’ve been in to make that big of a scene nearly drove Roy down the same deep pit. He wouldn’t wish reliving that despair on anyone let alone the broken boy he loved with every fibre of his being.

“What time does your mother expect you home?” Roy looked at his watch.

“Out of town. A cousin’s wedding or something with my stepdad.”

“Alright then.” Roy nodded. He flicked on the small bathroom’s fluorescent light and all the memories of the first time they did this came flooding making his heart ache as soon as he hid. “Bath or shower?”

“Bath.” Danny cocked his head in the tub’s direction and took off his jacket as Roy turned to put the water on, being quicker than him though he stopped him by grabbing his hand. “Don’t.”

He wasn’t ready to be without Roy yet even just for a bath. He’d been without him far too long and he physically couldn’t take any more of it.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Roy smiled walking up to the young man who was drawing him closer by the hand.

When they were only an inch or two apart Danny leaned forward, cupping Roy’s ever so slightly stubbled face to pull him in for a very feeble, shakey kiss.

This was it. This was what he needed, what they both needed to finally ease all that anguish.

Slowly Roy’s hands found their way to Danny’s hips, pulling their bodies closer as the intensity of their kissing grew. Their lips parting to eagerly take in more of the other.

Danny’s hands snaked down from his face to the bottom of his tight grey shirt feeling at every inch of Roy’s flat stomach at they did, breaking their kissing for only a second as he flung it off over Roy’s head.

“I missed you…” He breathed into Roy’s mouth just as the older was repeating the same thing with his shirt.

“I missed you too, so much you don’t even know.” He quickly slid his hands into the back of Danny’s tights and into his briefs to feel down his round ass, pulling both his pants and his underwear down swiftly in the process as Danny guided them back.

His now more stable hands fidgeting between them working on unbuckling Roy’s jeans so he could finally be his again.

When Roy’s back hit the bathroom wall with a quiet thud he spun them around and reached for his medicine cabinet next to Danny’s head.

Danny, with his palm flattened against the wall, stretched his arm around taking Roy’s growing erection in his other hand becoming impatient as he jerked him off slowly through his boxers.

Roy’s hand, just as impatient as his partner’s, dug between the bottles and miscellaneous lotions while his mouth explored the back of Danny’s neck. Peppering gentle kisses along the smooth skin till he found the small half full bottle of lube.

Once he heard the pop of the plastic cap flicking open Danny clumsily hooked his fingertips into the waistband and slid Roy’s boxers down just enough to let his cock spring free. Roy wasted no time in squirting a heavy amount of thick clear lube onto himself. Meanwhile Danny reached the hand previously jerking him off up around to hold onto Roy’s neck, pulling his lips back against his skin as Roy lowered his knees to enter Danny easier.

With his hands on Danny’s somewhat curvy hips Roy gradually inserted himself into his tight young asshole. Hearing the low whimper escaping between gritted teeth from the younger pinned between him and the wall.

“Ow…ow ow.” Danny quickly bit his bottom lip to avoid the involuntary cries suddenly coming out of his mouth. He knew tensing up would make this unnecessarily more difficult than it needed to be but the ice cold lube unexpectedly against his entrance made him flinch, not helped that he had forgotten how much Roy actually stretched him.

Roy felt Danny’s body tensing up further, his asshole tightly clenching around him making entering him any further nearly impossible without hurting him. He quickly moved his hands to Danny’s chest. Holding onto his non-existent pecs feeling his heartbeat racing against his fingertips.

“Sh, I got you, baby.” He soothed Danny with another kiss on his neck till the younger relaxed, his hands joining Roy’s holding onto them as the older started his steady thrusting.

He could tell by the sincerity in his sweet nothings the older meant it - he had him and without hesitation he’d protect him as he had done so many times before.

A light bulb went off in the back of his muddled mind, illuminating the one thing that’s been so clear all along but hidden beneath layers and layers of doubt and fear.

“I love you…I love you…” Danny started softly chanting, breathing it out in time with every new thrust Roy made.

The three simplest words that he’d been yearning for finally spoken. Roy hadn’t anticipated what an earth shattering impact they’d have on him but here they were.

He knew without a shred of doubt he’d give up everything in a heartbeat for this boy, throw away everything he was just to hear those 3 words every day for the rest of his life.

Roy let go of Danny’s torso and with his hands on the wall each side of the younger he gradually pulled himself out.

Grabbing the condom that he’d forgotten from the tall box he accidentally knocked over earlier in his hunt for lube he spun Danny around.

Kissing him deeply as his hands trailed down his sides to his backside and with a firm grip on his soft cheeks he picked him up.

Not a good idea with his bruises but who cared, nothing in that moment mattered except Danny. It was all he could focus on. The love of his life he so nearly lost. Might still lose…

With Danny’s long legs wrapped around his waist as they walked down the hall to the bedroom they were already in the perfect position when Roy went to sit down on edge of the bed.

Muscle memory took over as he slipped the condom on as speedily as he could without needing to look while their lips remained locked. Hungrily searching for comfort in each other.

“I love you too…” Roy breathed out when Danny pulled back from their kissing, biting his lip again to avoid any involuntary responses slipping out this time he lowered back down onto Roy’s waiting cock.

Maintaining silent eye contact with his fingertips gently on either side of Roy’s jaw Danny started steadily rolling his hips. Each testing the other person’s declaration of love, waiting to see if either would run.

“I love you, Danny.” Roy repeated his words even fainter this time.

This was it, this was real. Roy really loved him. Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain real. Sid and Nancy real. Sacrificing himself without any hesitation real.

He loved Roy and Roy loved him. It was the only certainty between them.

With Danny’s fingers intertwined behind Roy’s neck, their kissing grew intenser, deeper as did their movements. Roy soon feeling down his back leaving a trail of goosebumps behind he reached down to hold onto his ass guiding his every steady move.

Nothing about there interactions were rushed or had the usual roughness of their previous encounters, they were smooth and intimate.

The gentle touches of their hands and lips lingering wherever they made contact, savoring this deeply personal cathartic moment.

Even when Danny picked up the pace of his hips, the slapping of their bodies and the crinkling of Roy’s pants still halfway down his thighs remained drowned out by their soft grunts and moans.

Their bodies saying everything they had hoped to say without either ever having to utter a single word.

Soon Danny’s head lifted exposing the tender flesh of his neck stained red from arousal, his lips pressed against Roy’s furrowed damp forehead. “More…please, give it to me…more.”

The hands gripping his ass moved back up and Roy’s arms snaked their way around his back, enveloping his small frame to pull them as close as physically possible.

His hips thrusting up faster to meet Danny’s now hurried riding, the moans escaping Danny’s lips growing more strained as the petite chest pressed against Roy’s rose and fell quicker.

Roy’s head nuzzled against Danny’s collarbone, biting into the delicate, tender flesh to muffle his grunting. This was definitely going to leave a mark but so be it, let it. Let the world know that he was his.

“…oh…shi…” Danny’s body starting trembling in Roy’s grip, a hot load of cum shortly after following shooting out between them onto Roy’s chest. The sticky, pale white liquid leaking down his body to the bruise around his gut.

Roy eased up on his hips’ movements to allow Danny to ride his orgasm out at his own pace but the younger never let up.

“Don’t stop…” He breathed out “…more…”

Ceasing his teeth’s gnawing into his collar Roy moved his lips up to trial kisses up his lover’s pulsing, heated neck to his jaw. The tenderness in which his lips worked a striking contrast to harshness of his black nails digging into Danny’s sides.

The grip of Danny’s skinny arms still around his neck growing tighter with every smack of their bodies as did the coil in his abdomen.

This was how Roy wanted to die, right here lost in Danny’s arms forever.

“Baby…” Roy warned and Danny picked up the pace for him, increasing the intensity in which he rode him to bring him closer to his desperately needed release.

“…give it to me, babe.” Danny encouraged.

With a final deep, almost painful groan Roy climaxed, clinging as tightly possible onto the body between his arms scared of falling apart if he did.

-

“Sorry.” Danny finally spoke when Roy climbed into the white porcelain bathtub sitting down behind him.

They were seated in the deliciously warm water that filled the tub to the brim with bubbles. Roy behind Danny against the back of the tub with Danny securely between his legs leaning forward with his hands resting under the water on his shins.

“For?” Roy asked putting his messily tangled hair into a bun at the top of his head, wiping away any stray strands of hairs to kiss along the small hickey forming on his neck.

“Everything I said…” Danny looked down ashamed of what he shouted during their fight, lifting his hands to now run them up and down along Roy’s spread thighs on either side of him.

He felt mortified that they ever even had such an argument, it was good to get everything out and in the open but not like that. Not in that ugly manner.

“Don’t be.” Roy’s hands slid down Danny’s shoulders to the ones on his thighs. “I don’t blame you, I deserved it. You had your heart broken because I’m an actual fucking idiot and you’re right, I was selfish.”

The guilt of everything he’d put the younger through with his overthinking slowly gnawing away at him forcing him to face his greatest fear, himself, and apologize. Swallowing every last bit of pride he had to do it.

“You weren’t.” Danny shook his head.

“No I was. I shouldn’t have just been so quick to dismiss you because of my own stupid insecurities, I should’ve listened. If I had known earlier that those idiots tried that shit I wouldn’t have asked you to leave like that.” As he spoke Danny leaned back, his back now against Roy’s well toned chest and his head in his shoulder. The skin on skin contact even more soothing than the water. “I did want you to stay, I really did, but I didn’t want you to be miserable here with me when you’d rather be with your friends.”

“Fuck my friends.” Danny scoffed, titling his head back so he could look up at Roy asking silently for a small kiss.

“You don’t mean that.” Roy rested his temple against Danny’s when his head returned to it’s previous spot in the nook of Roy’s collar.

“I do. Jay heard Dan likes me and invited him to my party, but he thought getting invited was some kind of, like, I don’t know…me asking him out and then Chris told me to give you a taste of your own medicine and fucking show him off or something.” He scrunched his face up in disgust at the memory. “So fuck them all, hope they all get some kind of STD.”

Roy laughed at his shady ass comment and wrapped on arm under Danny’s arm to drape it over his chest with his hand on Danny’s shoulder like a seatbelt shielding him from any further harm. Physical or emotional.

“Alright then. Where even is this great Chris? You said he didn’t show?”

Danny trailed his hand along the arm over him to distract himself as the sudden intense longing for his friend hit him.

“He didn’t, his grandma got sick and he’s super attached so he stayed behind.” He hooked the fingers of his other hand between Roy’s and lifted their now clasped together hands, examining his bruised knuckles. “Dan…”

“Milk.” Roy interrupted. Fuck he hated that kid. He wasn’t worthy of the same name as his love or anything better than the absurd nickname he had dubbed him. “Fuck him too, he can get an especially nasty STD.”

“Asshole.” Danny laughed, making Roy’s heart flutter. “He’s such a gross ass kisser though. He fucking tried to grope me, man. So I punched his ass.”

“Atta boy!” Roy praised proudly and brought the clasped together hands to his lips to gave each purple and red knuckle a gentle kiss careful to not hurt him. “But this might be fractured, I’ll take you to the doctors tomorrow if it’s worse.”

“Okay.” Danny sighed. Time to face the inevitable. Like a bandaid. “So what’s the deal with you and Raja, honestly? Why did you take me to see him?”

“Oh that.” Roy laughed. “I actually wanted to introduce you to Raven, you remember her right? About Raja’s height, tan, heavy ass make up with that silicone face.”

“Yeah I think so why?” Danny thought back to their New York trip together where he met a Raven.

Roy raised their hands up in front of Danny’s confused face again and playfully wiggled his ring finger. “That’s his husband you dumb bitch.”

“Oh…” Danny felt his cheek growing every shade of red imaginable and started sinking lower into the warm bubbly water. It was the only alternative to hiding his head in the dirt from embarrassment like an ostrich who was just caught with his pants down.

Roy picked up on his attempted evasiveness and pulled him back up laughing at his cartoonish blushing face.

He swaddled Danny with both his arms now around his chest, even the one still holding onto his. “You’re so precious when you’re all stupid.”

“Hey.” Danny pouted looking up at him again, his heart dropping when he saw Roy’s expression falling again.

“He actually tried going after you too to apologize for him and Shane giving you the dad speech to try and scare you.”

“They did?” Danny got a sinking feeling in his chest for not seeing through their tough guy act from the beginning. If he had this whole situation could’ve been avoided. He was usually so in tune with people’s energies why did he miss it?

“What you thought you saw at school was Raja feeling like horse shit and coming back to apologize for what he did after I cut him off.”

The memory of Danny’s upset face when he looked up at them flashing through his mind’s eye.

“You did? Why?”

“They were trying to be smart asses and instead they ended up hurting you. I don’t want anyone in my life who’s going to hurt you regardless of who they are.” Roy’s voice got low.

Danny stretched his neck up to kiss Roy as a thank you, like a princess kissing a knight after he rescued her from some great evil.

This guy really genuinely cared about him. How that was even reality absolutely stunned Danny. “I love you.”

Roy’s face lit up at the words, the way he said them in his sweet voice only adding to the butterflies in his stomach.

“I love you too.” He returned the kiss with another drawn out one. “And don’t worry I don’t think they’ll try it again.”

He reached for the hamper next to them with the grey bottle of body wash Danny had bought him on it.

“They won’t?” Danny rested his head back in it’s spot and kissed Roy’s neck.

“Nope.” Roy splashed some of the warm water over Danny’s chest before squirting the soapy charcoal colored liquid onto him. “Totally kicked their asses.”

“Legit.” Danny nodded impressed with Roy defending his honor so gallantly. Purring as Roy’s hands went about massaging the soap onto his skin. “Can I stay the night?”

Roy smiled kissing his temple. “Sure, baby.”

-

“Hey. Can I go through your music?”

“Yeah, sure.” After their bath and impromptu make out session as they were drying off Danny’s stomach starting growling uncontrollably loud.

Thus Roy promptly went to work making them each something to eat as the younger explored the house.

“What happened to your tv?” Danny shouted from the living room while Roy was reading the instructions on the back of a frozen pizza box he found in his freezer.

“Uh…nothing.” He panicked.

‘I broke it.’ He thought remembering how he threw one of his books at it in a fit of rage over seeing Danny with another.

“Mh-hm.” Danny came back into the kitchen a moment later with his lips pursed and the slow piano intro of Placebo’s Running Up That Hill following him.

Roy turned on the oven to preheat it and turned back to Danny walking over to him just in time for him to come up to him surprising him with a hug. Holding onto him tightly with his chin on his shoulder.

It doesn’t hurt me. Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know that it doesn’t hurt me? Do you want to hear about the deal that I’m making?

There were no words, just the couple embracing each other tightly making up for lost time as the song continued playing around them.

With everything now explained calmly thanks to the relaxing high of both their amazing moment of intimacy and the long hot bath things could go back to normal.

Not entirely normal. After declaring their love for each other probably nothing would ever be normal again.

That was a future Roy’s problem to deal with though. The absolutely only concern on present Roy’s mind was engraining every little detail of their domestic bliss with his arms around the guy he loved swaying to a song he loved into it.

It was as if the man he was 48 hours ago no longer existed, Danny had completely stripped every fear, every worry, every negative thought from his mind and replaced it with images of them laughing like children wrapped in towels making bubble beards.

His doctor had been right, he might’ve been talking about his bruises but it fit the context so let’s go with it.

It had to get worse before it could get better.

And sure when things did get worse they were just plain disastrous, I’m talking hurricane Katrina level disastrous. Nonetheless in the end it was all worth it a million times over.

You, it’s you and me. And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God, And I’d get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building… “Roy?” Danny finally spoke interrupting his peaceful thoughts.

“Hm?”

You don’t want to hurt me, But see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware I’m tearing you asunder…

“I’m dropping out…”

[anewpoliticalspin]

Have Republicans been in denial of difficult truths?

A popular conservative claim is that conservative thought has a basis in reason and logic, and liberal thought on emotion and “feel good” thinking.

Dennis Prager (who I actually respect a lot), wrote in the National Review in an article Left-Right Differences “At the core of left-wing thought is a rejection of painful realities, the rejection of what the French call les faits de la vie, the facts of life. Conservatives, on the other hand, are all too aware of these painful realities of life and base many of their positions on them.”

Is this true? Have we asked whether surprisingly, it might be conservatives lately who have done more of this?

After all, it’s emotion based thinking that will deny difficult realities in favor of ones more easy to stomach. Much of what has helped conservatism gain momentum over the last few decades has been its ability to make voters feel a form of safety.

Conservatives have often argued that poverty is less prevalent than believed, or is largely a result of personal choices and can be overcome through better ones.

That climate change is a myth. Every serious study would prove this untrue.

That the United States generally is a meritocracy where most will be able to succeed, or will not succeed, due mostly to personal effort.

That racial bias is largely non-existent, that minorities and women generally do not face significant obstacles.

That drones strikes have only targeted and hit terrorists, that they are much more accurate than they really are. (Even without doing any kind of research, how well can a human operator decide from a distance if a target is a terrorist threat? Does this really seem like sensible policy?).

That drug sentencing, as well as many of the criminal justice reforms we’ve passed increasing sentences, are both just. After all, only those who break the law will be punished? Yet the United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world, at 716 per 100,000 of the national population in 2013 (Wikipedia). Yes, really the world. That means we have a higher incarceration rate than many non-democratic nations!:

A quote by Marco Rubio, I think, does well to underscore the appealing optimism that may arguably have helped the Republican Party resonate emotionally among voters:

“We have never been a nation of haves and have-nots. We are a nation of haves and soon-to-haves, of people who have made it and people who will make it. And that’s who we need to remain.”

Logical thinking looks at the facts even when inconvenient. It is objective. This is also true of facts that don’t “seem” to make sense at first, or can contradict what feels intuitive or what we’re used to believing.

We might be used to believing that the environment we have always seen could not change, simply because it is counter-intuitive to what we are used to. But scientists always get it right when they all agree on something. Wouldn’t logic tell you that putting a mass heap of toxins and unnatural gases in our air that didn’t used to be there is going to have some kind of effect?

Remember this: In examining facts and beliefs about a certain topic, we should always be more cautious when presented with facts that we would prefer to be true, as compared to unpleasant facts. Be prepared to accept that unpleasant facts may be true. Our own biases can make us less likely to have fully considered whether they might be true. It is important to always ask what the most difficult facts of any situation might be.

[flourishedandsunkissed]

Music: Personal Best of 2016

On the last day of 2016 I made a thread of the songs I thought were the best that year from albums I loved. This isn’t all inclusive or definitive. I also haven’t listened all the way through all of these albums, honestly, so some will just be songs that were introduced to me by Nathan Zed’s amazing playlists. Also, there will be A LOT of links here because you should listen to these songs. Here we gooo!

Infatuation - All-American Trash BROCKHAMPTON

This song. This mixtape. This group. I knew of Kevin Abstract because The Neighbourhood took him under their wing and had him open for them. I paid a little attention to him, but then Nathan Zed put Camp Green Lake on a playlist and I fell in love. I saw that the label was BROCKHAMPTON and I found just the name pleasing. I listened to Dirt and it was immediately what I wanted it to be. I decided to listen to their mixtape All-American Trash and was enthralled and infatuated (wink wink). It’s an incredible project and far from trash.

For this song in particular, I can’t even pin what I love--it’s everything. The melody, the strange second verse, the imagery it gives me, how cool it sounds, its flow, the beautiful way the singing, rapping, and beat come together. EVERYTHING.

Runners Up: Palace (very close second), Cotton Hollow

American Boyfriend - American Boyfriend Kevin Abstract

It is so hard to choose a favorite from this marvelous album. I thought MTV1987 was a masterpiece and Kevin kept tweeting his new album was “pop as f***.” I wasn’t sure I was ready. To be honest, it wasn’t my favorite upon first listen but I was into it. Then I decided I wanted to see him live and that I needed to appreciate the album in all its glory so I listened to it again and I had no idea what I was thinking before. It’s absolutely beautiful.

I think the titular song is my favorite, it’s exceptionally difficult to choose. I’m all about cinematics, and this song sounds like the slow motion sequence in every teenage romance movie you’ve ever seen--but in a good way. It’s simple but tells a story. It makes you want to slow dance at prom again then cry yourself to sleep. That may not sound appealing to some, but that’s pretty much my aesthetic.

Honorable Mention: Empty. Wow. This song. This is why it’s so hard to choose. Again, cinematic grandeur is highly appealing to me and the beginning of this song emulates that song. It sounds like a journey through a high school outcast’s day, you can see everything he’s going through. By the chorus, it appears to be a love song to another person, but it’s more about a vicious cycle of home struggles and consequent self-loathing. When looked at that way, the chorus sounds more like a deep need for support. I think it’s important that music tells an honest story and doesn’t try to be popular. Also, this song over all is just beautiful.

Runners Up (extremely close, basically they’re all in first): Empty, Miserable America

Me and Your Mama - “Awaken, My Love!” Childish Gambino

Most people have turned onto Redbone now, which is fine, but this song will always be close to my heart. I can envision this song, I’ve lived this song, and I’ve literally felt this song. 

I was one of the lucky people that got to go to PHAROS back in September. Here’s the thing about Gambino: an album is not just a release, it’s an artistic event. He doesn’t put music out for money and notoriety, and doesn’t go halfway. I was too late for the era of Camp, but for Because the Internet, the man created a short film that connected BTI and Camp and wrote an entire screenplay for the album along with visuals for each song. For “Awaken, My Love!”, he brought PHAROS to life; a live album listening party/music festival. Complete with food trucks, an art gallery, and a theater to screen the first two episodes of Atlanta. And when he performed his album, he didn’t just sing his songs--he put on a show. I’ll go into more detail about it later, but this album was an event, not a music release. 

I didn’t know the words or even the titles at the time, but Me and Your Mama was without a doubt my favorite when I heard it live. I didn’t even know it and I still fully appreciated it. When he released it and I finally got to hear the words, I was taken. I was already in love with him but this song made me go deeper. I remember saying, “This is the shortest 6 minute I’ve ever heard.” At a certain point with most songs that run long, you get bored. I’ve never got bored with this song, because like I said: I’ve lived this song.

For some people it’s lost love, for me it’s unrequited. It can go either way. But let me break this down.

In the first 2 minutes, I’m floating through space. A choir is singing me through space and what they’re saying may not completely make sense but in the most wonderful way. I can hear the stars twinkling. The bass begins to intensify and I’m rising and rising, and then it drops and I’m falling through a tear in the universe. I’m falling falling falling, there’s nothing I can do to catch myself. And the devil laughs at my demise. “LET ME INTO YOUR HEART.” I don’t have to write about that. I keep falling and it gets more desperate, you can hear it in Gambino’s voice. Even the choir screams. I’ve been falling for 2 minutes, then something catches me. And it becomes dejected acceptance. There are no lyrics, no choir, no twinkling stars or even laughing devil. I’m back on earth and I take a long walk home. For the last 2 minutes.

I’ve felt it too many times not to know. The song can feel different for everyone, it probably means something different to Gambino based on the title, but I know this is what it is for me.

I love it because of what it means, because the extremity, pain, and desperation in Gambino’s beautiful voice, because of the way he sectioned off, giving each a mind of its own that becomes one coherent story.

Runners Up: Redbone, Zombies

Janet - Berhana - EP Berhana

I’ll be honest, I haven’t listened to this whole EP, and I haven’t searched for a deep meaning in this song, I just like the way it sounds. It makes me want to sway in someone’s front yard and drink pineapple juice. I also love his voice. This was another song I found because of Nathan Zed.

Seigfried - Blond Frank Ocean

I’m not even really a Frank Ocean fan. I feel nothing about Channel Orange vs Blond/e, I have selective favorites on both albums. For this album, it was a labor to choose my favorite but I decided on Seigfried. Just because of the way it makes me feel. I also love singing along to it. It sounds like the kinds of movies I love watching and want to make. By now, you probably just think I’m an emo youngin. You’re... not wrong. But I’m okay with that. Because feeling people make some damn beautiful music. And art overall.

One thing I really love about this song is this sequence:

This, this fe-, this feel This feel, this feels This feels ironic This feels ironic Ironic, this feels ironic Ironic

If those are the lyrics, I’ve seen others. But it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that it restricts my breath. The fact that the confusion in the melody makes me tear up. In Flight of the Navigator, Gambino says, “And even when you laughed, you cried / And even when you were sad, you were really happy” and that part of Seigfried emulates that even better than Flight of the Navigator.

I also love Frank’s “monologue” toward the end; “Speaking of nirvana, it was there.” I can see it, I can feel it.

Runners Up: Pink + White, Skyline To, Self Control (they’re all in first place a third one is okay)

Slave - Bobby Tarantino Logic

I’m going to make a bit of a bold statement: Logic is the best rapper I listen to. As for discography and fan factor, I’m not as into him as I am Gambino, even Kanye. But his flow. Is unbelievable. When I was driving home today, this song came on and I just started screaming. 44 Bars and Deeper Than Money are extremely close seconds (that’s happened a lot while making this playlist and you can see). ANYWAY, what I’m saying is, his flow is the best out of all the rappers I listen to. It’s smooth as hell, rarely makes me laugh or shake my head, and puts me in awe of his talent no matter how many times I’ve heard the song. I can’t exactly explain why I chose this song over the other two, it just felt right.

Runners Up: 44 Bars, Deeper Than Money

All Night - Coloring Book Chance the Rapper

I wrote on twitter: “this song is so much fun it makes me wanna actually go outside & live.” That basically sums it up. I haven’t listened to all of Coloring Book yet because it takes me 20 years to get around to everything that’s good for me, but out of what I’ve heard, this is definitely my favorite. It makes me think one of the only parties I’ve actually had fun at and just puts me in a good mood, what else do I need? Yet another song Nathan Zed introduced me to.

Greedy - Dangerous Woman

Ariana Grande

I don’t care that Ariana Grande doesn’t write her own music and that all her songs are implicitly about sex, her talent is UNREAL. She’s one of the few uber famous pop divas that can actually sing and she’s not just “good.” Her voice gives me chills and she is a force to be reckoned with. Again, so hard to choose. It was even hard to choose the runners up. But Greedy had be from literally the first half a second. The first time I heard “GREEEEEDAAAYYYY” I thought, “THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG.” This song is a ton of fun and just one that displays her vocal ability.

Honorable Mention: Leave Me Lonely. A powerful and deeply emotional song that she sings with such care. Another song I can feel and that definitely displays her range. Also, Macy Gray is a great addition.

Runners Up: Leave Me Lonely, Bad Decisions

Daydream - Single Medasin

I was introduced to Medasin through Masego who I was introduced to by--you guessed it--Nathan Zed. I love Masego and Medasin’s collaboration album and thought I should look a bit deeper into Medasin. This song makes me want to sway and salsa by the beach drinking limeade. It’s like I can taste and smell it. And I do think it perfectly characterizes a daydream.

Dang! - The Divine Feminine MAC MILLER

If there’s any album I know I need to listen to all the way through it’s The Divine Feminine. I’m getting there, I promise. Dang! is another song that’s too fun and too groovy. This was just about everyone’s favorite and it’s easily apparent why.

Runners Up: Stay, My Favorite Part

In Your River - Don’t Explain - EP Snoh Aalegra

This song gives me 60s nostalgia. It’s cinematic and marvelous. My brother explained that this style is called Brills Building. It’s quite reminiscent of the Mad Men theme for a reason. Also, it samples Stark’s Reality by BADBADNOTGOOD & Ghostface Killah. It all comes together wonderfully. This woman’s voice is incredible. It’s rough and smooth at the same time, and again, gives you 60s nostalgia from the upperclass side, even if you didn’t live through them.

Bad Blood - For All We Know NAO

If any song made me feel in 2016, it’s this one. It’s become the theme of a situation for me. Her voice is a new, refreshing one to me. She doesn’t “sound like” anyone to me. And I can identify with the hurt and contempt she emits through this song. Especially in the bridge. I haven’t listened to this whole album, but I know I should soon.

Highlights - The Life of Pablo Kanye West

I listened to this song just about every day for 3 weeks on my trek across campus to class. I love this album overall, although Graduation is my favorite, but I chose this one because it’s another that’s so much fun and that makes me want to go out, dance, and live. And the lyrics are GUTS.

Honorable Mention: Low Lights. The first time I heard it I thought, “oh that’s cool.” Then when I was really going through something and God kept me yet again, it hit my soul. All I can remember is raising my hand to Heaven, truly crying my soul out, and praising and thanking God for being so gracious and everything He’s done for me, especially when I didn’t deserve it. Because I never have. I still don’t. It’s not really Kanye’s song, but I’m grateful he put it on the album or I might’ve never heard it. I want a tattoo of a lyric from it, I just haven’t decided which.

Runners Up: Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1, Freestyle 4

Wifeable - Loose Thoughts Masego

This song, this album, this man -- all SO much fun. So carefree and joy-inducing. My roommate and I always used to dance to this song. And I just think it’s cute!

Honorable Mention: Small Talk. “Small talk, small talk, we don’t want no small talk / Dancin, dancin, yeah we love that dancin”: my absolute theme song. I hate small talk. I could write a book about the menial things I’d rather do. But you know what I love? DANCIN.

Runners Up: Small Talk, Too Much

For Free - Major Key DJ Khaled feat. Drake

I think there’s only one other song on this album that I really love, but that’s not the point. THIS SONG IS FIRE. MY ROOMMATE AND I BUMP THIS NIGHTLY. IN THE CAR, ON THE WAY TO CLASS, IN MY SLEEP. I LOVE THIS SONG. And the only song that can match that is: Child’s Play - Views Drake

I don’t care about Drake and I have no opinion about this album but TELL ME WHY THIS SONG BECAME MY LIFE. AGAIN: EVERY CAR RIDE WITH MY FRIENDS, ON THE WAY TO CLASS, IN MY SLEEP, NIGHTLY WITH MY ROOMMATE, EVERY PARTY, PROBABLY THE DAY I QUIT MY JOB I LOVE THIS SONG.

Outside - The Ride Catfish & the Bottlemen

At first 7 was my favorite song. I’m listening to it right now. It still is. But there’s something about Outside. There is something about Outside. I think because it’s so lovely but so desperate. It’s soft, longing and nostalgic, then aching, reluctant then forceful. Tortured. Regretful. Angrily apologetic. Then it starts all over again. It’s a painful memory and a remorseful giving in. I’m still trying to determine the significance of a cut-off instead of a true ending. It’s like an abrupt ending to the story, to the emotion. Like someone walked in you crying. Or invalidated your feelings.

Honorable Mention: 7. How could I not? My friend and I waited for this album for so long and finally someone put up a video of this song live. We were screaming our heads off. The last time Van cries, “And I’d beg you, but you know I’m never home / And I’d love you, but I need another second to myself” the emotion in his voice captures me. What I love about this album--and at first didn’t--is that every song is actually 2 or 3 songs. I plan on getting back to that thought.

Runnners Up: 7, Anything

Never Be Like You - Skin Flume

Another album and artist I’m sure I should listen to more of. This is one of the only songs that was playing everywhere all the time that I didn’t get sick of. Simply because it’s so beautiful. “Stop looking at me / with those eyes / like I could disappear / and you wouldn’t care why.”

Don’t Come to LA - Still Brazy YG

I’m not a YG fan and I don’t think gangs are cool. But some of his music is so hype I become a bit of a hypocrite. Not in the way that I support gang violence but that I support a gang member by bumpin his music because it’s too lit. I don’t want to but it’s SO GOOD. I love his West Coast sound.

Runners Up: Why You Always Hatin?, Twist My Fingaz

untitled 08 | 09.06.2014. - untitled unmastered. Kendrick Lamar

This song is sad in content, but it makes me want to dance. Not really out of joy, but for my goals and dreams. In “Sonny’s Blues,” James Baldwin writes, “...Sonny was playing that piano for his life.” That’s what it reminds me of. Although I’ve been quite privileged throughout my life, this song still resonates with me.

You’re banking on good luck, you wishing for miracles You never been through shit, you’re crying hysterical You settle for everything, complain about everything

This part of the third verse struck me when I paid close attention one day. I felt so condemned. This is entirely accurate in my life. Although I have been through some things, my parents still sheltered me. I’ve never been through anything like Kendrick’s been through. I shouldn’t compare, but I know I’ve had a fairly easy life. I’m so grateful, but having things handed to me has put me in the niche of settling when I can get or deserve better. And man, if I don’t complain about everything. How do I have the audacity? Overall this song means much more than just what that verse means to me, but it’s important either way.

However, when I just listen on the surface, it makes me want to flashback to the 70s and rollerskate/dance through San Francisco.

Vowels - Single HUNNY

HUNNY is just an amazing band. Their music is melancholy but makes you want to dance. The way The Breakfast Club makes you feel.

Do You Wanna Get High - Single BAD FEELINGS

I don’t remember how I came across this song, but it’s unquestionably sexy. I quickly considered it one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. I don’t even do drugs. And this isn’t even about the way it makes me feel, it’s just a well-written song in every aspect. And the raw emotion in the singer’s voice makes me love it more. And that guitar solo.

24K Magic - 24K Magic Bruno Mars

When this song dropped I said, “Bruno Mars know what I want.” I actually didn’t get too into this album and my mom thinks this is just Uptown Funk part 2, but I’m here for it. I love the 70s and it gives me a neo-70s (although others have said 80s... I guess a little bit of both). And you can’t not dance to this.

Honorable Mention: Perm. Another seriously fun song. That’s all.

That’s that. If you read through this whole thing, thank you! And thank you Nathan Zed for introducing me to some fantastic music.