#and pray to whoever will listen

[fried-pickles-01]

some notes for myself, when my obsessive ass wakes up feeling overwhelmed

So uhh. If you feel like talking about it. As someone who lives in the US, how are you being kind to yourself on this upsetting morning <3

Checked in with my loved ones first and foremost.

It's interesting. The vibe I've been getting from my circle is very different from 2016. Much less… dread and horror at a realignment of the understanding of what can and can't happen here, now, in this place and day and age. More "fuck, guys. again? whatever. enjoy your consequences, maybe you'll manage to learn something this time."

Frustration and anger is not the most positive feeling, or even the most fair one to express, but it is a protective one. It hurts a lot less than most alternatives.

And it's quite a shift. It was earthshattering back then. How could this have been allowed to happen? Why couldn't it be stopped? Why couldn't we stop it? Why couldn't I stop it? Why couldn't everyone see what this meant? Why couldn't I make them understand? Did they really not care? What did that mean about humanity as a whole? Were we so thoughtless? How could anyone be trusted?

It seems… much less earthshattering to see it happen twice. Disappointing, sure. Frustrating. But nowhere near as devastating as the first time I saw it unfold. We already knew it could happen. I've already had time to digest the implications. Now I'm just freshly disappointed.

It also feels less indicative of Crushing Truths Of Reality this time. We've seen shit get bad. We've also seen shit get better from here! We know both outcomes are possible, even inevitable. We know hoping for a better future is always worthwhile. This isn't the apocalypse. It's an unremarkably bad turn of events brought on by unremarkably self-centered well-documented human impulses. It's utterly mundane in its unpleasantness. It doesn't need to be dignified with despair.

A democratic election, no matter the outcome or the side we're on, makes us all acutely aware of how outnumbered we are by people whose worldviews and priorities are demonstrably incomprehensible to us. And the first time you get outnumbered, it's a shock. Defeat is haunting. It didn't matter how badly you wanted it; by the very function of democracy, you do not have the power to override greater numbers. (insert electoral college caveat here)

The second time through, I find myself focusing on a different facet that has dramatically reduced the amount of spiralling I'm doing. I don't expect this to work for everyone, but for me specifically, it helped to crystallize a few thoughts:

You don't have the power to control anyone else. You don't. You can't share your worldview and your revelations with them. You can't make them think or understand anything. You can lay it all out for them, but you can't make them listen, and you can't make it click. A mentor can't make their student learn a lesson; that's why teaching is so complicated and hard. An active choice must be made by the person to enable themselves to understand, and they must put the pieces together in their own mind before it makes sense to them, and the pieces must have been presented in a way that makes sense to them in the first place. Lead a horse to water, can't make them drink.

These elections highlight a disconnect in what different groups of people care about; and no matter how clearly you explain yourself or how passionately you perform, caring cannot be forced on someone. Understanding and connection cannot be forced. You cannot make anything or anyone matter to someone. They have to choose to see how it matters in order to internalize it. If they choose not to, that is not your failing. You couldn't have made them do it by just Explaining Better. They are not your responsibility. They make their own choices. You can't reach inside their head and connect the dots for them.

I'm a storyteller. I make stories and put them out into the world. I hope people get something good out of them, but I have no control over what that something is. I want people to be thoughtful and kind and compassionate and hopeful and see themselves reflected in stranges, no matter their differences. I can craft stories that I hope encourage this. But that is the extent of my ability and the extent of my responsibility. I control no-one's actions but my own, and so while I am not having the best day, I am at least content that I am doing what I can, and I am not shattering myself against impossibilities trying to control the things I can't.

Sometimes, people make decisions that I think are really bad. I can't make that not happen. All I can do is try to make decisions that will result in things I think are good. Today, that means checking in on people, and not assigning too much dramatic narrative weight to an ultimately mundane set of unremarkable bad decisions outside of my control. We'll take life as it comes and help each other out when and how we can. Everything else is out of our hands.

[sea-buns]

Zac trying so hard not to metagame Colin's suspicion level of Raphaniel and Brennan trying equally as hard to keep Raphaniel from falling into an unrealistic obsession with Colin is not the rivalry I was expecting but I'm here for it

[thisbibliomaniac]

I didn't used to like Ryan Gosling, but he was super nice to my friend when she evangelized to him on the street (she had no idea who he was until she posted her usual street ministry pictures on facebook), so now I like him

[raddestrose]

Whooo I’m mad stressin about round seven

But I do know that the bass will be FUNKY

[seokmattchuus]

No bc I was gonna vote for project 7 but like. I refuse to download weverse

[carriedreamerx]

Finding out the DIC version of Sailor Moon is now unable to be legally watched *anywhere* and very well could become lost media is devastating to me.

Do you have ANY idea how much of my writing career was influenced by this cheesy 90s Soundtrack alone?!

Seriously... this song still tugs at the heart strings.

[ducksoup17]

Some of you guys have got to realize that every single person who has been martyred in Palestine was a human. A living, breathing human, with thoughts and feelings and memories and likes and dislikes and people they loved. All of them had heartbeats and smiles and they laughed and cried and sang and danced. They watched the sunset, they played games with their loved ones. They fought and made up. Every single one of those people had a whole world, and every single one of them meant everything to someone.

Like. Just let that sink in. Israel has taken so many innocent lives. They have killed elderly people who had lifetimes of memories and stories that will never get to be told, and they have killed babies who did not have a chance to live. They have killed people who hoped to see a free Palestine and now never will.

It does not really matter whether or not Hamas is guilty of what Israel accuses them of, because slaughtering so many innocent civilians is not a consequence that would ever be fitting of any crime.

[kittykatkatelol]

what are the odds my grandma still knows my a03 😭

[nyxistic]

- Cheeb! -

A chibi-style doodle of Annah, with a simplified color palette!

I don't draw in this style very often, but I honestly think it looks cute as hell whenever I do :D

[arsenicflame]

Mothers by Daughter is a song about the relationship between a mother and her child, about how almost parasitic it is, the way it takes and it takes from the moment a child is conceived, and how relationships like these can be complicated and full of mixed feelings. its about how a mothers love will stay through everything, even when it isnt reciprocated. its about a love that will drain you of all you can give and then keep taking and taking until youre no longer who you used to be.

so anyway obviously this song is edizzy to me

[spookyboywhump]

Zander dealing with migraines down the line and he calls Cain as a last resort because he’s so miserable and he needs some kind of relief and Cain is already kind of ⁉️ because why is Zander calling him and then he asks for advice and Cain is just like. Oh you’ve already tried every painkiller and home remedy available? Yeah sorry dude. Sorry. All you can do is find god at this point. Time to start praying. Sorry about that.

[avid-idiot]

If I had balls, i would have been castrated just then

[fandom-blackhole]

I am Mahmoud Helles, the owner of the donation campaign.The campaign aims to expel my family from Gaza and expel my wife to Egypt due to her serious condition with a kidney injury. Please enter my page and then share .https://gofund.me/53fa2830🌹🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🌹😭

Sharing!!!!

Please boost this so this family can get the help they need <3

[libertarian-druid-ny-separatist]

Reasons it's great to rent a room from a dude with a fuckhuge house

Chances are, they'll be okay with you being a little late on rent as long as they're not dying

Chances are, they'll be cool with you doing laundry whenever, as long as it's not at like 2AM

If you end up losing a job, chances are they'll be chill about you getting a new one, as long as you're making an effort and keeping them sorta in the loop

Basically, as long as neither party is an asshole, you'll get cheap ass rent and the leniency you need to get by when shit gets rough.

[kindalikechaos]

Update:

I fell asleep whilst studying in My bed, but I've woken up to give you guys and update!

Pomodoro ✅️

1 Hr of Skellie ❌️

2 Lessons ✅️

1 Revision Session ✅️

> 2hr spent on insta ✅️

As you can see I achieved the majority of my goals and strengthened some friendships with side quests. So, to achieve my point, I propose that I cut back to less than 1 hr of insta tomorrow, and I do the 1hr tomorrow morning.

Thanks for accepting my proposal

Tomorrow's Agenda:

1hr Skeleton Program

1 Lesson

Casual Revision Throughout the afternoon (this I'd vague as Hell bc idk what I'm gonna do)

1 Evening Pomodoro :) focus on exam techniques

[29121996]

i rlly see blondie in 4 days