#and our cats refuse to use the litter box so they keep making messes and the one is worrying me because she’s overweight and just

[skyward-floored]

Living with ten people is normally fine except for when everyone’s bad moods happen to coincide with each other then it’s basically just duck and cover

[kittycornercrossing]

Okok, sorry for the rant/vent because normally I just reblog typically important or goofy shit on my blog, but I really need to vent and I need an outsiders perspective ;-;

My dumbass 23 year old roommate won't communicate ANYTHING with us. Our other roommate asked everyone if they could have their band (bass, guitar, drums) in our apartment. We ALL agreed. The 22 year old didn't think to communicate that they experience PHYSICAL PAINS AND HORRIBLE MIGRAINES WITH LOUD nOISE until after we all agreed and it had been a few months into practicing. (WHY DID THEY WAIT?? THEY SAID THEY DIDNT WANNA MAKE BAND ROOMMATE MAD BUT GAMER FAILED HARD)

Same roommate also didn't communicate that they believed they were slightly allergic to cats but didn't mention that until I MOVED IN MY CAT. The entire process of me asking the group about taking in my cat had this roommate giving standoffish and passive aggressive answers.

This roommate says they can't walk around my bedroom on the lower floor without shoes. I have parakeets and with how my room is arranged, a lot of their seeds and mess make it out of my room. My cat also is a stinky stinky stinky boy that I have tried to keep from stinking up the living room with his poop box, and he is a bIG tracker of litter. I hAVE TRIED MY BEST AND I FEEL INSULTED BY THIS ROOMMATE FOR SAYING THEY CWNT CASUALLY GO TO THE LOWER FLOOR.

This roommate has consistently tried to make me and my other roommates the middle man/deliverer of messages when there's an issue they refuse to communicate to someone else. This roommate came to me to ask for the band roommate to be quieter, while complaining the entire time. This roommate asked another roommate to talk to me when I didn't have access to the house gc for a few days, THE DAY AFTER WE WERE BOTH TEXTING ON DISCORD.

I'm just so fucking mad and this gamer, holy shit. They decided to look for a two bedroom with their s/o (fair, they're welcome to do that) but they said they were looking to move out before August 1st if the current lease allowed. I was told this at the end of June.

...

ThANKFULLY our current lease can't be cut short in anyway and they didn't end up moving out, but think about it.

This is a five bedroom apartment for college students. It is unfortunately NOT CHEAP. If those two left (s/o also lives in our apartment) our rent would've increased A BUTT LOAD. DUDE, HOW CAN YOU BE SO INCONSIDERATE.

I wanna fucking

gGgGGrAGGAGAHAAA

Idk guys please tell me what you think. Am I just making a mountain out of an ant hill or is this just bs ;-;

[wistfulcynic]

a farewell

Sometimes I look at my cat’s sweet face and think about how we almost didn’t keep him. I wasn’t working at the time and we weren’t sure when I would be again, and it was so impractical to consider adopting even one kitten much less two, and we’d already decided on his sister.

I decided, rather, on a pure black girl, and my husband as he always does acceded, but from the beginning it was plain he wanted the little white-pawed boy.

We calculated, on the way home from meeting them, all the costs of their food and litter and shots and neutering and toys and scratching posts, and we knew we couldn’t afford two. 

And then I said “But do you want him?” and Husband said “Yes.” This man who by nature never states outright the things he wants said yes, I want this kitten. 

And so we adopted two. 

Hugo was a tiny, timid kitten, smaller than his sister and far less brave. He hid under the tv stand and behind the sofa and in a box, until he learned that we would only rub his ears and his little face and never, ever hurt him. 

He had diarrhoea in those first few days we had him. We had to try to make him eat special food given us by the vet and when he refused it I wept, because I read on the internet that diarrhoea can kill kittens and I already loved him with every scrap of my heart. 

I roasted a pumpkin for him, a butternut squash in fact (the internet enriches us as well as terrifies, and this came highly recommended), and made him a purée to soothe his tummy and tighten his stools and when I offered him a spoonful expecting him to turn away I wept again because he didn’t. He lapped that spoon clean and looked for more and I swear by all that is held as holy that my baby kitten knew that orange mess would do him good, and so it did. 

He’s grown huge now, so much that we had to put him on a diet, but he’s still timid, running from the vacuum cleaner and strange people in his house. Still, you couldn’t ask for a better cat. He never uses teeth or claws in anger, scratches only at the designated posts and allows us to pick him up from time to time and squeeze him, even though he hates this. He loves rubs on his belly and on his face and he’s never once knocked anything off a table, though he will bite right through headphone cords if they are left unguarded. 

He sits in the bathroom with me and sometimes wees along in fellowship, and he loves to grab our hands with his sharp-tipped paws and pull them down to his head, purring like an engine. His fur is thick and glossy and his linen is pristine, little paws and chest always of the purest white. His whiskers are white too, and his little chin, and his eyes are huge in his pointed face. He’s the cutest cat, and the sweetest, and sometimes I look at him and think of what we nearly didn’t have, what we almost gave up before we realised it was such a treasure. And I don’t weep but I almost want to, unshed tears a right knot in my chest as I wonder what life my baby might have had without me. A nice one maybe, but no one could love him more than he is loved here in my house. 

(The above I wrote months ago, before we knew. Before we had any idea how soon we were to lose him. This second part I wrote tonight, with shaking hands and vision blurred by tears.)

And now we have to say goodbye. My baby, my beloved boy. He is leaving us too soon but he’s brought us more love in five short years than we would have had in fifty without him. My heart is broken and my tears won’t stop. My poor dear husband is crying too. There’s a unity in grief as there is in love. We loved him together and we mourn him together. We are stronger because we loved him. We are broken but not broken apart. 

Someday our tears will stop and we’ll remember him with fondness and not with pain. This is the nature of healing. It absolutely must be thus; if grief remained forever fresh humans could not survive it. But I hope this day won’t come too soon. He deserves a few more tears, my precious Hugo, my sweetest boo. And then he deserves the fond memories. 

Certainly, we will never forget him. 

(All this is to say that despite the kindness of strangers—for which we remain deeply grateful—my sweetest Hugo has to be put to sleep. Saturday the 5th of February, 2022, just three months shy of his sixth birthday. If you are reading this I hope you’ll take a moment to think of him, and then to hug your cats or dogs or any pets extra close and treasure the time you have with them.) 

[emilysarmstrong]

THIS IS GONNA BE A RANT AND I'M ON MOBILE SO NO READMORE FOR Y'ALL, YE HAVE BEEN WARNED

We managed to go on a week long vacation with my gf's parents (in the house that belonged to her great-grandpa who won it on a game of cards, but that's another story) but god, at what cost

Our cat couldn't come with us on the grounds of my gf's mom being severely allergic, so we were waiting for The Roommate to come back so she could watch over her (and her own cat too), but after two weeks (of a supposedly ONE WEEK TRIP) she finally told us that she was only coming back TWO DAYS AFTER my gf's parents were supposed to be back so no fucking vacation for us I guess?

We wanted at least to spend a weekend away from this house that has been in the middle of a moving since GODDAMN MARCH full of boxes and trash everywhere, so we had everything set up for gf's uncle to come over and feed the cats for two days. Once we finally got to the vacation spot, The Roommate calls us to say that she got someone to watch the cats.

Time to drive ALL THE WAY BACK to relieve the aforementioned uncle from duty and bring our keys to the person who was supposed to watch the cats. Turns out it's this old judgy neighbour lady who was annoyed that we wanted to show her where the cat food and litter were, where we had made a neat pile of clean pet bowls and plates for them, the lists with how much and how many portions to feed them, our phone numbers... and then she got pissy because "[Roommate] said I only had to feed the cats once a day"

EXCUSE ME?

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO SURVIVE ON ONE MEAL AND A SINGLE GLASS OF WATER A DAY, ELIZABETH?

Anyway we reiterated the importance of getting the cats fed and their water changed twice a day, and hoped The Roommate had chosen a dependable person to take care of the cats

*narrator's voiceover* turns out, in fact, that she hadn't

Roommate calls us two days later to say that the catsitter called her with her panties in a twist because there were maggots in the cat food and she had to toss it all away, that she was calling another lady to pick up the catsitting, that in the end the new lady was going to buy more cat food, and and and

WHOA MCFUCKING THERE, PARDNER

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE HAD TO THROW AWAY OUR CAT'S FOOD"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"But we have enough food, there's a metal box full of wet food and a full bag of kibble"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"We have to come back to town tomorrow to get our covid vaccine shots, if there's the need for more food we can stop by the pet shop on the way"

"It's okay, she handled it"

The gods gifted me with many virtues

Patience is not one of them

And at this point the gf was already restraining me to not yell at the phone, and we agreed on not stopping by on Monday to not stress the cats further with showing up and going away, and trusting the new caretaker, that had already watched over The Roommate's cat before, to not be a complete moron

We overestimated her

We came back today to find the new caretaker, who did not even invite us in for a coffee, all pissy about The Penny having bitten her this morning when "all I did was trying to pet her". She gave us back our keys and we walked into our apartment, where The Penny was already screaming her little lungs out

The apartment

Was

A

Mess.

Penny's litter box hadn't been cleaned, at all, ever since we left

She had one bowl of water instead of the two we had left

The tray we place her bowls on was FILTHY

And I don't know what the fuck was in her kibble bowl, but boy

It was NOT the kibble that we had prepared for the week and left in a glass jar right in front of the tray

We thought that was all, but nope! Walking into the kitchen made the nightmare even worse! The food that we had set aside for the cats, that the lady claimed was gone so fast because it was filling with maggots, was still sealed on the shelf with the little notes on how to portion it attached. We had laid out wet food for a week, of which not even HALF had been used, and The Roommate's cat's kibble didn't even seem to have been touched. Instead, there were two boxes and a bag of SHIT ASS cat food of a brand we had never seen before, full of grains and coloring and other bullshit, not to mention the bag of kibble for fixed cats. WE are responsible pet owners that fixed our baby as soon as she was old enough, but The Roommate refuses to do the same to her cat (that has been constantly in heat for a while, mind you) but feeds her kibble for sterilized cats. If you're wondering if this makes her cat underweight and low energy, well, BINGO! We had finally convinced her to change into better kibble, and this FUCKER comes around and buys this shit under the premise that "poor kitty cat had no food" while there were TWO BAGS IN THE KITCHEN AND PENNY'S JAR IN OUR ROOM

And the bowls. My good lord, the bowls.

Penny eats out of steel bowls that we wash after every meal, and the water one gets washed once a day. The Roommate isn't nearly as organized with her cat's stuff, but she keeps telling everyone who listens for at least ten seconds about how her cat's whiskers are particularly sensitive and therefore she cannot eat out of regular pet bowls (instead she keeps feeding the cat in plastic plates that only get washed once a blue moon but we'll get to that in another ranty post). We specified on the notes taped to the food shelf that she has to be fed on open plate, and what did the asshole do? WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT. She grabbed a random Penny bowl and filled it with kibble, another random Penny bowl and filled it with water. And completely ignored the tray we had laid out for the other cat, with her little plate and the wider water bowl, putting the "meal" she prepared on the kitchen counter instead

Unlike Penny's litter box, that hadn't seen a scoop since we left the house, the other cat's stuff had been cleaned. Once. And the bag with the litter trash was still open in the bathroom for everyone to see and smell, because obviously, it's not like the cat would maybe just maybe like to have a room that doesn't smell of her own fucking shit, specially if said room is right besides the one where she sleeps

Now it's the following morning and I'm still seething, I cannot believe the fucking audacity. We would happily (okay, maybe not happily, but we definitely would) skip the vacation if there was no one to watch the cats. They're little living creatures that need attention, and we happily provide when we're around. It's not a crime to say "I can't watch over your pets, sorry", it doesn't make you a horrible, rude, inconsiderate person. You know what does, though? ACCEPTING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMEONE'S PET AND DOING A SHIT ASS JOB OF IT

We laid out everything. We left clean bowls and plenty of kibble and wet food. We left clean scoops to clean their litter boxes. We explained everything and literally left a phone number taped to the food shelf in case they needed us for anything. Instead, the first bitch called The Roommate to complain and the second one just deadass did whatever the fuck she wanted (also I'm convinced that she was overfeeding the cats kibble and not giving them wet food to avoid maggots instead of, you know, sticking around until the cats finished eating and putting the food away when they did. Which means The Penny gained weight in this week, a LOT of it). And ignoring the things we had prepared and explained with so much care to 1) make their lives easier and 2) MAKE IT AS SAFE AND NOT STRESSFUL FOR THE CATS AS POSSIBLE.

We've been home for twelve hours and Penny still hasn't stopped being whiny, which I'm pretty sure is only partly because she is annoyed at us for spending a long time away, but also because she has been bored out of her mind, since these people act like cats are part of the furniture and don't need attention besides some horrible slop thrown into their food bowls. Our cat missed having play time with her wand toys, hanging out with us while we watch tv, eating together (obviously, her having a little bowl of cat food while we eat human food, that we do NOT give her because we aren't stupid), sleeping in the same bed. Of course you're not mandated to do that if you're just hopping by to check on the cats and give them food, but don't act like they're furniture and then get pissy when they try to bite you because they're under stimulated! CATS NEED TO HUNT, and if you don't provide a prey in the form of a toy they're gonna hunt your fucking fingers, and my only regret is that Penpen didn't rip that asshole's hand off

I don't think there is a point to this post, I'm just angry and annoyed and frustrated, but typing everything out in an angry rant is better than yelling and scaring my already sad toebean of a cat, I guess?

Anyway if you read all of this I'm sorry and have a picture of Her Catship The Penny Dreadful

[closer-stars]

Protective - Yeosang

Member: Yeosang w mentions of San Genre: Fluff Requested: No Word count: 1.5k Content: cats and yeosang. also kinda cliche stuff whep Note: sorry for the constant writings/ideas of ateez and cats. also this is just something i wanted to make for @yeochikin. Inspired by the fact I’m often on the cat side of youtube. This technically has no direction except Yeosang, you and San taking care of cats. 

A pleased meow comes from one of the tables and you immediately rush over to the customer’s table. Thankfully they weren’t fazed by the furry one as it was a regular to his coffee shop. On the other hand, he was a little stressed by the constant visits by the feline. It’s not that he didn’t like animals, it’s more of sanitation worries of a stray cat that always comes inside your shop. 

“Can you handle the cashier and pastries for a bit?” The male calls out as he wipes his hands before carrying the cat off the table. Without another word you took over his job, as if this was just a regular thing in the restaurant, much to the confusion to the customers. Yeosang carefully puts the cat down outside the restaurant. “Leave, please? You can’t stay here..” He mumbles softly behind the door much to the feline’s insistent mewls. He stares at the feline pace to and from the door, her tail swishing about in distaste. There’s no use anyways, he knows the cat has considered his restaurant her haven without any say from him. So he opens the door again, crouching down to the level of the furry one. “You can’t make any mess here!” He scolds her. Before he could say another word, the cat slinks itself through the small gap between him and the door and back into the safety of the franchise. The feline doesn’t forget to ask for head pats from him either. He doesn’t refuse the request, even going as far as combing through the fur along with gentle pats of its hips. 

Yeosang watches the cat stroll around the building, unfazed by the presence of other people. You chuckle at the sight of his mild stress and concern for the furry one. “Cheer up, Sang.” You reassure, following his gaze as the feline sniffs the new customers. “The customers already understand why we have her anyways.” It’s true. The feline’s belly was swollen, clearly due any week now. It’s thanks to San that Yeosang understood and didn’t have the heart to shoo the cat the way he shoos unruly customers. 

‘Ah, she’s looking for a safe place to give birth then. Guess, this cafe is safe for her.’ San explains. Yeosang had given the cat some food and water one night as the three of you cleaned up for the night. 

Since that night, the cat had become a regular, coming in and out of the property whenever she needed. The three of you did notice she’s been staying indoors longer. On the hours when the foot traffic’s low, Yeosang approaches San. “Hey, do we have anything to act as a safe space for her to give birth?” San looks at you and then busies himself to look for a box big enough to house an adult cat and a possible large litter. You then look for some soft material that could act as a bed. In a matter of minutes, Yeosang manages to make a makeshift haven for the feline. 

“Hey Yeosang?” San asks as he approaches the male who fixes the corner, away from any noise from people but warm and comfortable enough for the cat.

“Hm?” He returns as he carefully stands up, his knees slightly aching from the prolonged time he spends crouching. 

The other male rubs the back of his neck, unsure of how to raise the question. “Uh,” he starts. “Once she gives birth, what are you going to do?” He asks, eyeing his friend and the box. 

The lithe male stops for a moment, head tilted in thought. “I guess, I’ll take care of them. I got the two of you for help when it comes to cats anyways.” He reasons. “Also, we’re sharing a damn apartment, if I’m taking care of these furry ones, you’re also taking responsibility for it.”

Two weeks pass by with little to no complaints and mewls, much to the relief of the three of you. In fact, some of your regulars had offered to help out with expenses now that they heard that the three of you would help care for her. 

“Did your water break?!” You exclaim, seeing a small puddle of water follow the feline who starts licking herself. The two males behind the counter look up at you upon hearing your question. You quickly let the feline make her way to the safe corner that the three of you had set up. Yeosang manages to get the heater, positioning it at a comfortable distance for the mother to be who was now easing herself into giving birth to a few kittens. 

“San, can you try to make something for the cat? We’ll take care of her from here.” Yeosang asks. It was better to have San deal with the meals from here on out, he was more knowledgable with caring for cats than anyone. It takes a few hours, most of which Yeosang spends with the cats. You having to deal with any customer that arrive. Once San returns with a serving of what seemed like chicken and other protein heavy food. He sets it down gently near the cat. 

“How many kittens are we going to care for huh?” San asks, his tone light with relief at the safe delivery. Yeosang peeks into the box, eyes darting around the slightly dim area. 

“We got four kittens to care for.” It takes a lot of restraint from San to not squeak in glee. “Let’s leave them be for now. We’ll talk about how we’ll care for them after we close.” Yeosang reasons, stretching his back as he stands up. 

--------

“You think we can leave her here?” Yeosang asks, clearly worried for the felines. 

“She found this place safe, for a few weeks we can’t move her to our place. If we do, she might get stressed and that’s not good for her babies.” You reason, as you wash the bowl before filling it again with the food San had prepared earlier. Yeosang’s eyes stay at the corner where the cats stay hidden from any prying eyes. His features were unreadable but his body clearly screamed in concern for the little ones.

“They’ll be fine, Yeosang. The mother’s a strong one.” 

----------

It’s been two months since the kittens have grown. Now the family resided in their apartment and this was a first to see Yeosang delighted to take care of something that wasn’t you or San. He waves a small toy in front of two kittens, both of which have taken an interest in the bright feathers and sparkly bell. One kitten had decided to make Yeosang his personal heating bed, the other was off in a corner, learning how to clean himself up. 

You lean against the door frame, taking a quick video of Yeosang being a complete idiot for the small furry bundles of energy. The mother cat was lounging on a spot where the sunlight touches it. “Did you expect Yeosang to be like this? Cause I didn’t... I was expecting you to be whipped.” You ask, before keeping your phone away. More blackmail, you thought to yourself.

“Well, I was like that when I had Byeol.” San reasons, watching Yeosang whimper in mild pain as a kitten has decided to climb onto his back, claws out and all. 

“W-why’re your claws out...” Yeosang mumbles softly, too scared to take the kitten off his back that he bends himself practically in half just for the safety of the little one. He waves the toy in front of the kitten who finds delight in the change of scenery on his back, hoping that the bright chimes would coax the kitten to jump off his back and onto the ground. 

It doesn’t. 

It gets another kitten following their sibling onto his back that he concedes. “Guys? A little help, please..?” He calls out, unable to raise his head for obvious reasons. 

“You signed up for this, Kang Yeosang.” You point out in a light tone as you carefully carry a kitten off his back. “Should’ve named this little guy Wooyoung huh?” You ask, settling the mischievous one on your lap as you try to carry the last one.

The last one hops off Yeosang’s back and mewls up at the male. “What do you want, Cloud?” He asks softly, almost as if he’s talking to a baby. Ever since the cats entered your life, Yeosang talking to them softly and cutely have become a norm. He lightly runs his finger tips against the fur, the kitten immediately purring at the actions. “You already ate..” He points out when he starts to mewl again. 

San comes into the room after having refilled their water bowls. “Does this mean, we’re officially taking care of 5 cats?” He asks, eyes bright with hope at taking care of another cat, or in this case cats. He settles himself in front of the two of you, as he tries to gain the attention and favor of the mother cat. The two of you then look at Yeosang, expecting an answer. Yet, he’s too busy giving gentle belly rubs to the kitten. 

“I think it’s a yes.” 

[theramseyloft]

hello! im looking into buying pigeons as pets, I have experience with keeping pet birds but I want to get more specific knowledge on pigeons, how would you house them and what social grouping is best for them? and is it best to get younger pigeons if you want them to be more tame?

Pigeons require that you forget pretty much everything you know about any other species of pet bird.

The only thing they have in common is feathers and hollow bones.

Physical needs are dirt simple to meet.

Pigeons are strict granivores. 

They are not capable of digesting anything other than embryonic plant issue.

Once the plant sprouts, they can no longer process it.

So no sprouts, no fruit, no veggies, no leaves, no roots, no stems, no tubers, NOTHING BUT SEEDS!!!!

They do not have the internal organs required to process cellulose.

I’m really sorry to hammer it in like that, but so many people going from pretty much any other species of bird to pigeons make really dangerous mistakes by using the nutritional and habitat rules for their other birds as the base line.

Even vets do this more often than not, because every one’s base line for Companion bird is parrot.

SO many people advocate that pigeons be forced to eat fruits and veggies as if they were parrots.

Their owners, who trust this wide spread misinformation and are only doing what their vet tells them, end up worried that their pigeons are not getting the right blend of nutrients when they refuse those things that are NOT food for them. 

To make the birds eat “enough” veggies, their owners are advised to restrict their seed intake, because “seeds should just be treats for birds, not a dietary staple, or they’ll die of fatty liver disease.”

In the specific cases of Pigeons (Columba livia) and Ringneck Doves (Streptopelia risoria), the poor birds are accidentally starved on a full stomach by people who “Have bird experience” and are genuinely doing their best to take the best care of their pigeon, going by what they already know from other species, encouraged by the advice of their vet.

Please, do not do this to your Columbidae.

Give them a wide variety of seeds, black oil sunflower sized or smaller, that include grains and legumes. 

Dried split green peas and lentils are good legumes to supplement a widely varied seed mix.

Unpopped popping corn is a pleasant treat for many.

Safflower seeds are irresistible training treats to most.

The columbidae do not hull their seeds. They swallow them whole, shell and all, and are dependent on the shells for dietary fiber.

So avoid hulled blends advertised as “mess free.”

Pretty much all commercially available cage for birds are built to display sitting parrots, or contain a little flock of finches.

Pigeons are primarily ground foragers that are not physically capable of climbing, but nest on cliffs.

They need more floor space than height, and flat perches because round ones hurt their feet.

Perches need to have at least a full body length between them, so if there is not space for that, only have one perch in the enclosure.

A training crate for a Labrador sized dog is plenty of space for most breeds of average (about homer) size or smaller.

Larger, taller, or longer winged breeds like Giant Homers, Utility Kings, Voorburg Shield Croppers, Frillbacks, Lagore, and a few others will need a kennel built for Great Danes

The perches in the photo above are modified Garden Stakes (Nearly always square and wooden) cut to legth.

The nest boxes are bunny/ferret corner litter boxes filled with straw.

If you are planning to have a few as pets, rather than a breeding loft, they do best if you think of caging like you would crating a dog:

The crate is not intended to be where the dog lives full time.

It’s where the dog sleeps or waits out the time you are away or otherwise unavailable to supervise out time; while they are still learning the house rules.

When you are home, the dog is let out, and you alternately praise or reprimand them depending on how they interact with your things.

The end goal is for the dog to free roam the house full time, knowing what they are not allowed to mess with, what they are allowed to interact with, and how they are allowed to interact with the things they are allowed to interact with.

Pigeons are exactly as capable of learning house rules, and can get to a point where they are trust worthy free roaming either full time, or during the day.

It’s useful to think of free roam training like you would with a dog or cat, but pigeons have the intelligence of a five year old human child, and a social structure that legitimately can be called a society and is strikingly similar to a close knit extended family of humans.

Pigeons are intensely social. 

They don’t just breed in colonies.

They live in colonies year round that forage cooperatively.

They have a crazy efficient chain of command.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

Whose leaders earn their following by proven merit

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

Every flight capable individual has a vote in what the flock does when they leave the home loft.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

It is not an exaggeration to call a pigeon flock a democratic meritocracy.

And because of that, Pigeons innately expect not just to have a voice in the social group they are part of, but to be aware of that voice being ignored.

Pigeons are incredibly vocally and behaviorally communicative.

This study of sea birds proves that at least some birds are capable of communication through the shells of their eggs.

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/baby-birds-communicate-eggs-hatch?fbclid=IwAR39CYrHAfFM6nAP8Rq3TvOox1p5vcb3Z87xqjPoiYNCwMoRvuQaWCeSFjs

Though there have not been pigeon specific studies done, I have noticed babies hatching with more obvious anxiety during stressful periods for the loft, so I have reason to believe that parents communicate with unhatched chicks, and unhatched chicks can communicate with eachother.

Pigeons have higher level cognition. 

They share come cognitive traits with baboons

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212141143.htm

But they share a shocking number of cognitive traits with humans!

Brain wiring, for example.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Facial recognition

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110411171847.htm

Complex categoroization

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140402095107.htm

They are one of the very few animals (Including corvids, but excluding most parrot species) that are self aware enough to recognize themselves not just in mirrors, but in videos, even with a delay.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080613145535.htm

They can even learn the equivalent of words by the same mechanic as human toddlers.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150204184447.htm

This study is the basis of a communication study I have been doing with our birds for almost two years now.

Earlier, I talked about flocks being democratic meritocracies, and how aware pigeons innately are of their vote being ignored.

The more ignored a pigeon feels, the less cooperative they are inclined to be.

But the more they understand of the world around them and how their behavior effects it, the faster they learn which of their behaviors effect what and how to change their behavior to effect changes they want.

By verbally talking them through everything in the simple, clear way that you would for a toddler who has not yet picked up many words for things, you can teach a pigeon to understand your verbal communication.

With a bit of patience, you can also forge those associations using written words. Pigeons have proven capable of learning the difference between acronyms and actual words.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160919111535.htm

They have also proven to understand abstracts like space and time

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171204144805.htm

Pigeons risk/reward evaluation is even strikingly similar to ours, compelling them to gamble on a bigger reward, once they have experienced the possibility of receiving one, than to stick to the guarantee of a consistent, but small pay out.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140827092105.htm

Building a trusting relationship with a pigeon is more like adopting a tiny, nonverbal human toddler who can fly than training any other type of domestic pet.

It’s easier for a younger bird to learn than an adult, because a younger bird has less ingrained behaviors that they need your help to unlearn, but with patience, any pigeon of any age can build a close relationship with you on the dual basis of trust and communication.

I have lots of asks about training that go into more detail.

Try searching the terms Training, Socialization, Bonding, and Friends.

I don’t have the option to tag asks. I have to go back and edit them after I have posted them in order to add a tag, and I often forget.

Especially when I have a long backlog!

For reference, t time of writing, I have 21 asks waiting to be answered. 

[novannna]

Little Demon

OK so this is the first fic that I have actually ever posted, plz enjoy some cringy bad writing:)

word count:4192

WARNING: Contains minor Supernova spoilers

Nova is pressured by Adrian into getting a pet to keep her company.  Nodrian, lil angsty.  

Nova and Danna walked around the corner, onto a busy street with lots of bustling shops and delicious smells.  Nova tugged her jacket closer into her body as she shivered in the brisk autumn air.  

“Thanks again for coming with me,” she told Danna.  It was six months after the battle at the cathedral, and she and Danna had finally forgiven each other.  It was rough for a while, but they were now on good terms, friends once again.  Danna had agreed to go pet shopping with her.  Nova had finally moved into a small flat by herself and Adrian was worrying about her mental health.  Well, worrying more than usual about her mental health.  He had finally managed to convince her to at least get a pet to keep her company.  

“Of course!  I’m sooo excited,” she replied.  Danna rubbed her hands together.  Their destination came into view.  “Lucille's pets-the best pets in all of Gatlon city”.  Nova snickered at the bright, garish banner hanging above the door.  All sorts of sounds came from inside the shadowed shop.  Nova could hear parrots and dogs and cats.  The noise was so loud.  Nova started to shake.  She  stopped walking and started to take in deep breaths.   Even though it was six months after the battle at the cathedral, loud noises still overwhelmed her.  She found her brain completely shutting down, refusing to think straight.  All she felt was panic.  She closed her eyes and listened to the blood roaring in her ears.  

“C’mon, Nova.  What are you waiting for?”  Danna said to her.  She saw Nova's expression, and the irritation left her face.  “It's okay.  You don’t have to do this.  You are safe.”  She held Nova's hand tightly. Nova nodded.

“I know.  Just- give me a sec,” Nova said through a tight throat.  Danna slung an arm over her shoulder and guided her towards the edge of the sidewalk.  Nova leaned heavily against  a wall.  After a minute or so, Novas breathing became normal and her heartbeat slowed.  

“All good?” Danna asked. 

“All good,” Nova confirmed, still catching her breath and convincing her brain that her panic was irrational.  Danna squeezed her hand and together, they walked into the chaotic pet shop.  

Inside the shop it was much dimmer.  Animals screeched all around them and there was constant motion.  

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Nova whispered to Danna.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this.  We can leave if you want.” 

“No.  I’m fine.”  They continued on.  

“So what kind of pet do you even want?” Danna asked. 

“I don’t know.  I didn’t really think about that.  Definitely not a dog, I don’t have enough time.  Not a fish, I want something I can actually interact with.”  She shrugged.  

“What about a cat?”  

“I guess.  I’ve never had a pet before.  I like cats”  

“Hi there!  Welcome to Lucille's pets, can I help you out today?”  A bright, cheery voice made Nova and Danna jump.  A woman emerged from behind the checkout counter.  She looked to be in her mid twenties and had bright blue hair. On her apron a nametag read, Lola.  

“Hi.  My friend is interested in getting a pet.  She was thinking about getting a cat.”  Danna responded.  “Could we meet some of them?”  

“Of course,” Lola replied.  “Right this way.”  She led them towards the back of the shop.  On the back wall there were several cages.  They all had cats in them.  The cats were all different.  Huge and tiny, old and young, so many colors of fur.  

“What age cat did you want,” Lola asked, directing her question at Nova.

“Umm… probably a kitten.  I don’t have a preference really.”  

“Well all of our younger cats are on this side,”  she gestured to the cages on the left.  “Our adult cats are over here.” she gestured towards the other side of the wall.  Danna bent down and reached her hand in and tickled a kitten on its chin.  The kitten nuzzled its nose against Dannas hand and started to purr.  Danna laughed.  

“Oh, he likes you,” Lola said.  “He’s a sweetie,” she paused.  “Would you guys like to meet them outside of the cages,” she asked.

“Oh yes, that’d be great!” Nova exclaimed.  Danna nodded vigorously.  Lola set up a little pen and directed Nova and Danna to step inside.  

“Which ones do you wanna see first?”   Lola asked.  

“I don’t know.  I honestly don’t really have an opinion on the looks or behavior of the cats.” Nova said.  Lola walked over to a cage and scooped a gray kitten out in one hand and an orange and white tabby kitten in the other.  She gently placed them in the middle of the little pen.  

“I have to go and stock the shelves now, feel free to look at the other cats.  Just put the ones you have out back before you play with new ones, ‘kay.”  said Lola.

“Great!  Thanks.”  Danna responded.  

“Let me know if you need anything.”  Lola smiled.  She walked away humming a pop song.  

“Aww.  Hi,” Nova said to the little orange and white kitten playing with her shoelaces.  “You’re so cute!”  she smiled.  

Danna smiled at Nova.  “Are you all good now?”  She was still worried about Nova after her attack a few minutes before.  

“Perfect.”  Nova picked up a cat toy and grinned as the two kittens tumbled after the colorful feathers.  The kittens zoomed around, completely filled with energy.  They kept falling over, full of clumsiness.  

“You wanna look at the other kittens now?”  Danna asked Nova.

“Sure.”  she grabbed the little gray kitten while Danna picked up the orange and white one.  They walked over to their cage and set them down inside.  The kittens toddled over to their little cat bed and promptly fell asleep. 

“Wow.  I wish I could fall asleep that easily.” said Danna.

“You know… I could help you,” Nova joked, eyes gleaming.  Danna glared playfully back.  They both burst out laughing.  

“Which one next?”  asked Danna.

“I don’t know.  You choose.”  Danna walked over to the cage with the kitten that she had been petting earlier.  

“Lets try these ones.”  she picked up the black kitten that she had been petting and handed it to Nova.  Nova hugged it to her chest and felt its whole body vibrate from the force of its purrs.  Danna grabbed the other one in the cage, an identical black one.  When she set it down, it immediately started sprinting in circles around the pen.  Danna burst out laughing when it tripped over its own feet and sprawled into an ungainly mess on the floor.  Nova shook her head and gently righted the small cat.  It rubbed its head against Nova’s legs and then took off again.  Nova looked up to see Danna smiling at her.

“What?” she asked, curious about the odd look Danna was giving her.  

“It's just-,” she cut herself off and began again.  “You seem so happy and peaceful with these animals. You look different.”  she smiled at Nova.  

“Yeah, I guess I really do like hanging out with these guys.  Although, I don’t think these are the right kittens for me.  They don’t feel right. I don’t know.   

“Yeah.  These ones don’t seem to fit you,” Danna responded. “You pick which ones we play with next.” 

“‘Kay.”  Nova shrugged.  She scooped up the kittens and placed them back in their cage.  She then knelt to get a good look at the other kittens.  Nova opened the door of another cage and picked up a little brown cat.  She handed it to Danna and knelt back down to see if there were any other kittens inside.  She saw a bright white kitten pressed against the wall, ears pressed back against its head.  

“Hey little guy.  It's alright.  I’m a friend, I won't hurt you.” she placed her palm out.  The little kitten sniffed it and hesitantly walked towards Nova.  She gently patted it on the head.  It hissed and swiped at Nova with its claws.  She yelped and quickly drew her hand back, looking at the bright red pinpricks of blood that welled up from the small cuts that the kitten had given her.

“Are you alright!” Danna asked, reaching out to touch Nova’s shoulder.

“Fine, I’ve had much worse.  Just a little scratch.”  Nova replied.  

“Aw, shit.  I forgot to tell you about that kitten.” said Lola, having emerged once she had heard Nova’s squak.  “She’s a little grumpy, if you didn’t notice.  We didn’t breed her, we rescued her.  Some people had been throwing rocks at her and mistreating her.  She is only just healed and doesn’t trust anyone.”  

“It’s okay.”  Nova said to Lola.  “I’m a friend.  You can trust me,” Nova said, now addressing the white kitten.  “People have been assholes to you haven’t they?  I get it.  People have been assholes to me too.”  she extended her hand out again.  This time the kitten stepped out and rubbed  her face across Nova’s palm.  She sat still, suppressing a grin.  The kitten stepped out a little farther, only a foot away from Nova’s face.  The little kitten started to purr and Nova ran her fingers down the kittens back.  She gently scooped the kitten up, being very careful not to make any sudden movements.  Nova let a tiny pulse of her power flow through the kitten and her eyes slowly closed.

“Well I'll be damned.  That’s the first time she has ever let anyone touch her.  Even Lucille, and Lucille can talk to animals!” exclaimed Lola.  

“I want to adopt her,” Nova said, allowing a grin to split her face.  Danna grinned back.

“She fits you perfectly,” said Danna.  Nova nodded her head.  

“Do you have any toys or litter boxes, or things like that at your house?” Lola asked.  

“No, I don’t really know exactly all that I’ll need.  Could you show me?”

“Of course.”  Lola led Nova and Danna to an aisle full of cat supplies, after they had put away the two kittens  She handed Nova a litter box, a bag of litter and a plastic scooper.  

“Here, You’ll want a cart.”she walked over to a shopping cart standing next to the cash register and pulled it over to Nova and Danna.  Nova put the pile of things she was holding down into the cart.  Lola walked her down the aisle, pointing out things that she would need and how to use them, occasionally putting things in the cart.  By the time they had gotten through the aisle, Nova actually had a vague idea of how to care for a cat.  

“I can go ring these up for you now,” Lola said.  “Do you need anything else?” 

“I think we’re good.  Thank you so much for all of your help!” Danna told her.  

“No problem.  Let me get you a carrier and then you will be all set.”  The girls walked over to the cages and Nova reached into the cage with the little white kitten.  She was still fast asleep when Nova slowly picked her up and transferred her to the small cardboard carrier Lola had gotten them.  As Nova shut the lid, the kitten woke up and stared into Nova's face with sleepy, confused eyes.

“Hello little one,” said Nova. “you are going to come home with me.  I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”  The little kitten let out a small meow, then tucked its head back down and fell back asleep.  She walked over to the cash register and paid for all the items while Danna called Oscar.  They had walked here, but they didn’t want to walk with the cat.  They were afraid that it might scare her too much.  Oscar was the only person that had a car and was able to give them a ride.  

“He will be here in 15 minutes, Nova,” Danna told her.  

“Great.  We’re meeting him out front?”  Danna nodded.  Nova grabbed the little kittens carrier and headed out the door .  Danna followed, hefting a bag full of cat supplies. 

Nova and Danna sat down on a bench stationed in front of the store.  Nova let a big breath out and smiled.

“Thanks for coming with me.  I don’t think I could have done that on my own.”  Nova said to Danna.  

“Of course I would.  I’m your friend right,” Danna playfully pushed her shoulder.  Nova pushed it back.  

“Im serious though.  I thought I would be better, that all the chaos wouldn’t still bother me.  I mean I'm a goddamn Renegade!  I shouldn’t have to keep falling apart whenever there is too much loud noise.”  she trailed off.  “Whatever.  You really helped me get through that.  So, thanks.”

“Anyday.  Hopefully it will be good for you to have this little guy around to center you.  Have you thought about what you will call her?” she gestured towards the cardboard box containing a sleeping kitten.  

“I was thinking I would call her Feroce.  It was what my father would call me.”  Nova smiled sadly.  “I think it fits her.”  She leaned back against the bench and crossed her arms over her chest.  Nova felt her phone buzz in her back pocket.  She pulled it out to see a text from Adrian.  

Adrian:Did u get a pet?!?!

Nova smiled.  She had forgotten her promise to text him when she had made a decision.

Nova:Yes.  I got a little white kitten 

Adrian: :)))))

Adrian: I’m w/ Oscar, driving ur way.  We’ll be there soon

Nova: Love u.  See u soon

Adrian:Love u too<3

Adrian:Can’t wait to see your cat!!!!!!!!

Nova laughed at her adorable dorky boyfriend. ++++++

“Nova!”  She looked up to see Oscar and Adrian waving at her frantically from Oscar's car.  

“Nova!  I need to see Oscar junior right now!”  Oscar yelled to her.  Nova laughed and got into the backseat of the car.  

“She is asleep, and I’ll murder you if you wake her up.” she threatened as she opened the cardboard carrier.  Nova showed Adrian and Oscar the tiny sleeping kitten inside.  

“And her name is NOT Oscar junior, it's Feroce.”  Oscar pouted.  

“She's so adorable!”  said Adrian.  

“Don’t you dare even think of taking her Adrian Everhart!” she glared at him. 

“I would never!”

“Uh huh.  I saw your face.  Don’t try to lie to me,” she said, skeptical. 

“Nova, Danna, do you guys have anything you have to do today?”  Oscar asked.  Nova shook her head.

“No, why”  asked Danna.  

“If it's alright with Nova, we are going to go to her flat and hang out with Feroce for a while,” said Adrian.  

“And if it's not alright with Nova, me and Adrian are sneaking in,” Oscar added.  

“It's fine with me,” Nova said.  

“Great.  We’re meeting Ruby there.”  Oscar gunned the engine and they drove off to Nova's small flat.  

It was a short drive to her two room flat, only five minutes. She made Adrian carry the cat supplies and Danna carry Feroce while she unlocked the door.  Nova pushed the door open and then walked in and collapsed onto her couch.  

“Uh, Nova?”  Danna said.  “I think Feroce woke up.”  Nova opened her eyes and saw Danna holding a hissing box away from her body.

“Shit.”  Nova got up and grabbed the carrier from Danna.  Adrian shut the door.  Nova set the box on the floor and opened it.  A hissing ball of bright white fur shot out.  Feroce burst out and skidded across the room, her claws slid out, trying to grab purchase on the slick wood floor.  She didn’t stop herself soon enough and crashed into the wall.  

“Nova, that's not a cat.  Thats a demon.” Oscar told her.  

“She’s just scared.  She has a bad history with humans.”

“Out of all the kittens you could have chosen, you chose the smallest, angriest one.”  Adrian burst out laughing.  “Nova, you are literally the same as that cat.”

“Shut up,” Nova scowled and threw a pillow into his face.  She slowly walked over to where the tiny kitten was cowering.  She held out her hand, letting Feroce sniff it.  She crept forward a bit, ears still pressed flat against her head, but the hissing had ceased.  A wet nose pressed against Nova’s hand.  She glanced back and smirked at Oscar and Adrians dumbstruck expressions.  She felt a small furry body worm its way into her arms.  She scooped Feroce up and she snuggled deep into Novas chest.  A low purr started in the center of her tiny chest.  

“Still a demon?” she asked Oscar.

“I’m terrified of you and your cat.  And yes, still a demon.” Oscar shuddered.  “Do you have any food?  I’m starved.”

“There are some chips in the cupboard.  Help yourself.”  she sat down on the couch, next to Adrian and Danna.  She leaned against Adrians chest.  

“You think getting a cat is a good idea?” he asked her.  He had an insufferable smirk pasted across his face.  

“Shut up.  And yes, I will admit, I will be loads happier with Feroce here.”  

“WHAT!  Did the one and only Nova Artino admit that I was right!”  he grinned down at her face.  

“Don’t make me take it back,” Nova threatened him.  He grinned even more.  “Arse,” she grumbled.

A knock sounded on the door, and Danna got up to open it.  She swung the door open and Ruby burst into the room.  

“Oh my god Nova!  Where is your cat?!”  she screamed.  She rushed over to Nova and immediately started to pet Feroce, before Nova could warn her.  Feroce slitted her eyes and let out a small hiss, but did not attack her.  

“Nova, your cat is broken,” Oscar exclaimed.  “It hates everyone but you and Ruby.  literally.  Look.”   he walked over to Feroce and extended his hand, similar to what Nova had done.  Feroce flattened her ears and hissed up at Oscar.  She swiped towards his finger with her paw, and he barely managed to move his hand away from her claws.  

“See!”  he said incredulously.  Ruby and Danna burst out laughing.  

“Feroce tolerates me, look,” Danna said.  Danna traced her hand gently down Feroce’s back.  The kitten growled, but didn’t attack.  

“It is an actual demon!”  Oscar said.  

“Her name is Feroce?”  Ruby asked.  Nova nodded.  “What does it mean?”  

“It means fierce in italian.  It's what my father would call me.” 

“Aw.  That's so sweet!”  Ruby responded.  

“El diablo,” Oscar muttered, inching away from Feroce.  “Make sure she doesn’t come and attack me at night Nova.  She hates me.”

“Not me,” Ruby chimed, ecstatic that the cat liked her more than Oscar.

“Do you want me to draw anything?” Adrian asked.  “Like a cat bed or something?”

“Umm, sure.  Do you wanna draw me one of those cat tower thingies?”  Nova said.  “I wanted to get one at the store, but I was too cheap.”  Adrian pulled out his marker and started to sketch on the wall.  Ruby and Danna had pulled out some of the cat toys Nova had bought out of the bag and were opening them.  Feroce stood up and arched her back while yawning.  She spotted the brightly covered toy Ruby was dragging across the ground and pounced on it.  Nova smiled as she watched the little white bundle of fur race across the room, skidding on the hardwood floor.  Adrian sat on the floor, drawing an elaborate cat tower, complete with scratching posts and several different rooms for the cat to sleep in.  Nova slid off the couch and hugged her arms around his neck.  He looked up from his drawing to smile into her eyes.  She playfully kissed his neck.  His smile widened, and then he stiffened as she nibbled his ear. 

“Get a room,” Oscar shouted to them, still raiding Nova’s cupboards.  

“Shut up,” Nova said to him while Adrian blushed furiously.  Oscar just grinned.  

“You know, you don’t have to make this so elaborate.  I only got one cat,” Nova told Adrian, referring to the tower he had drawn.

“I know, I just enjoy drawing things like this.  Besides, Feroce will have the coolest cat tower ever!”  he said sheepishly.

“You're a dork.”

“But you love me,” he responded.  He pulled her into a kiss before she could move her head.  Oscar and Ruby snickered behind them.  Nova raised her hand and flipped them off without pulling away from her kiss.  This caused them to laugh even harder.  Adrian gently pulled away from Nova and grinned at her face.  

Adrian turned back towards his completed drawing and ran his hands down the wall.  He pulled out, and the drawing came with him, now an elegant 3D cat tower, complete with at least five cat beds and scratching posts everywhere.  Feroce looked up at the new furniture addition with curiosity.  She padded over and sniffed it hard.  It apparently met her expectations and she climbed to the highest level, turned in a circle and sat down.  Then, she promptly fell asleep.  

“Thanks for drawing it, Adrian.  It looks so nice!” Nova said.  

“No problem,” he replied.  All of a sudden, Oscar’s phone let out a loud 

ding.  Ruby started and Nova whirled around.

“Chill guys, just my phone,” Oscar reassured them.  “Looks like I have to leave. Adrian, Danna, Ruby, you want a ride?” he asked.

“Sure,” Danna and Ruby chimed, simultaneously.  

“What about you, Adrian?  You need a ride?”  Oscar asked.

“Nah, I’m good.  My dads said they would be happy to pick me up.  Thanks though.”

“You do you, I’m outta here.  Enjoy your time with the demon cat.”  Nova laughed as Oscar glared at the tiny sleeping form.  

“Bye Nova, see you tomorrow,” Ruby said as she walked out the door.  

“Yeah, bye!” Danna said, getting up as well.  

“Thanks for going with me Danna,” Nova told her.  “See you guys tomorrow.”  Ruby and Danna waved goodbye as they stepped into Oscar’s waiting car.  Nova shut the door and turned back toward Adrian.  

“I texted my dads, one of them is going to come pick me up in like an hour.  They can’t come till then, I hope that is okay.”

“It's fine,” said Nova.  She plopped down onto the couch, next to him.  

“Tell me about today,” Adrian said.  Nova’s therapist had been encouraging  Nova to open up more about everything.  Adrian had been strictly enforcing that, and so he made it a point every single day to listen about Nova’s day, no matter how boring or slow it was.  Nova smiled and snuggled into his chest.  

“It was mostly good,” she said.

“Mostly?” he wrinkled his eyebrows.

“I had a panic attack, right before we went into the store.  It’s six months after the battle,  and I can barely walk on a crowded sidewalk.  I’m a poor excuse for a Renegade,” she said.

“Hey.  You are an amazing Renegade.  Even better than me!”  Nova smiled a little.  “Six months isn’t that much time, and anyways, you went through so much more than anyone.  No would expect you to be fine after only six months.” he paused.  “Give it time.”

“I know, I just feel like such a failure.”

“You are everything but a failure.  I love you, Nova Artino.”

“And I you, Adrian Everhart.”

“Tell me about the rest of your day now.”  Nova filled him in on every detail of her day.  And he listened intently, only paying attention to her.  He smiled and laughed and comforted her at the appropriate times, and when Nova was finished, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest.  It always felt like that after she had talked to Adrian.  She could talk and someone would listen.  He would hold her, and tell her that everything would be okay when things were hard.

“Im lucky to have you.” Nova told him.  

“Im luckier.” she smiled.  His phone dinged.  “Shoot, my dad is outside.  I have to go.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Adrian stood up and walked to the door.

“Thanks for convincing me to get Feroce.  I’m glad I can have someone to share my flat with.”

“Of course. Anything to make you happy.”  

Nova pulled his head to hers and gave him a kiss on the lips.  He blushed again, but didn’t break away.  A horn honked outside.

“Sounds like someones ready to go,” Nova said.  “See you tomorrow!”  Adrian opened the door and rushed out to meet Simon, who was idling on the curb.  Nova could see Max sitting in the back seat.  She lifted an arm and waved to the two of them.  Adrian got into the car and  they drove away while Nova walked inside.  She collapsed onto her bed, worn out.  A smile played its way across her lips as she gazed at the fierce little kitten that was now hers.  

“Hello little Feroce,” she said to the cat.  Feroce opened her eyes to a slit, and let out a loud purr.  Nova laughed and for once, in a very long time she was happy. 

[grimaldiapologist]

So, yeah. Therapy later today. If we can call it therapy, it's outpatient something or the other, not with a therapist but with a nurse. But given that I can't afford real therapy, it is what it is.

The plan is to fill papers. I'm okay with that, I like doing them, and it sounds like there'll be more this time than just the beck depression one. I've filled that so many times I'm kind of getting bored of it by now. The thing is, I have an extremely pressing matter on my mind and that's what I'd like to talk about.

I didn't know I had a system - let's say a month ago. It's not that I didn't know about my Others, it's that I refused to think about that as anything out of the ordinary. I've masked this thing up as long as I can remember, I'm not sure when it morphed from not knowing any better to deliberately modifying my language to come across palatable to others while still referring to the people I share space with every now and then, and quite honestly I've just never given it that deep of a thought. We've had our order and the rules by which everyone comes out and behaves, with me at the front taking responsibility for the rest and covering our asses so that we look "normal" to the rest of society. I never stopped to question whether other people are the same as me, I just knew that if they were, it was something that should be kept inside and not talked about, unless it was in a context of creativity. Writers were particularly easy and comforting to associate with, after all, don't we all have muses? Is it weird if mine are commenting on what I'm doing, living rent free in my head at all times, and sometimes take over my life entirely? If they buy my clothes and I buy clothes for them, if some of them feel more real than I am?

We had this way of keeping quiet, only associating with each other and occasionally with these other writers, but never directly. All my life I've had them sitting here commenting on my doings, but I've never talked back to them, never really acknowledged them further than by making sure they're alright, they're safe, and giving up control when it won't get us hurt. I knew about them and they never complained, we got along, we got through the day.

All this time I've very, very firmly kept it away from mental health professionals. My mantra throughout my treatment, which started when I was a child, is that I've got this. I can tell what's real and what's not. The parts of me that don't fit the definition of reality - my delusions, my paranoia, and my invisible cohabitants - are things that we don't talk about unless necessary, because a rational person would call that insanity. And it was never necessary with my Others, not like it became necessary with my psychotic symptoms when I stopped sleeping and believed the world was about to end. My Others are well-behaved. We take care of each other. They help me survive and I keep them safe. We have our own thing going.

And since they've never been a problem, just people I live with and experience everything through, I never recognised that this is an issue, or, like I said, abnormal. Maybe everyone does that. After all, those other writers just laugh it off when I tell them what X is thinking right now, how I'm being judged for what I said inside my own brainspace. So it's just creativity, isn't it?

Until I met others who, well, have Others. "Have you considered maybe it's not just imaginary?" "You sound like me." and "That's DID."

It's been one fucking HELL of a month. It feels like everything just kind of fell apart and the more I questioned it the more it was all over the place and I was no longer in perfect control as I thought I'd been. I've realised so many things about myself recently that I don't know how to process and my head hurts. One of them is that I'm barely a person on my own. I'm a paper doll. 2D. All I am is self-hatred and regret. I'm a traumatized mess who's been so hellbent on making everything look normal that I killed my functioning with it. The second I talked to Them, the second We had the smallest fraction of mutual communication instead of the one-way street I'd upheld for years, it's like a dam broke open.

I don't have to do this alone. There's no POINT in trying to do it alone, because I am so little, such a small portion of the whole. I don't have the fucking energy to take care of everything. So now we share tasks. At first it felt strange, after all, is it not the same hands picking up the trash and cooking the food and carrying the groceries? What difference does it make if it's me or J or T?

Turns out, every bit of difference. They have separate spoons from mine. J's not afraid of germs and he loves cats, he has no problems taking care of the litter box every day whereas I couldn't reliably touch it on a weekly basis and always, always had to throw out the entire thing instead of scooping out the dirty litter. T loves the outdoors, loves going out, loves getting his blood flowing, and loves carrying the weight of grocery bags up a hill whereas I'd rather die than do it as often as it needs to be done. M is patient and kind and will remind us when we need to rest and recover, he'll remind us that it's time to take a painkiller, and schedule us time to do yoga.

Together, we've planned up a sleep routine and a list of tasks for everybody. I care for the body and our social life. M manages the household. J takes care of the cat litter and reads books, which is more important than it sounds. He helps with my appointments. T exercises, takes out the trash, vacuums, goes shopping.

In the midst of all of this, and I haven't even began to catch up or adapt to what my life has turned into, I just... feel so much better. I called my mother and she asked me what's the magic trick I've pulled to sound so happy and full of energy for the first time in a long time. I can't tell her. I jokingly referred to my alter ego and T told me to never call him that again. I don't know how to explain this to anybody. I don't have to do this alone anymore. I can just let them help me. I can let them do what they've been trying, in their own ways, to do this whole time.

I don't have to act like I'm not crazy when nobody's looking, or around my friends who support me and mine even if we come across that way.

[pearsonclaire1995]

Cat Pee On Wood Floor Stunning Useful Ideas

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Male Cat Spray After Neuter

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Will Neutering A Cat Keep Him From Spraying

What is most comfortable using, and also to the mess a little more expensive, but at the same thing - eventually she'll get attention or affection away from your washing machine as well.How - we need to empty out each time they holler, we've trained them that it helps to reduce this and remove the odor and blemish.I have spent my entire life on the road to a cat allergy symptom.Talk to your new bundle of joy is that the gel should be covered with carpet or kitchen, as when it is a very pleasant drinking temperature and will run about your enemy, you have carpets, remember to treat carpeting and furniture and dig in without tipping over a fence which is designed for grace and agility.Sawdust pellets cat litter box and at home teeth care possible.

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[swordarkeereon]

Naturally Cat

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a cat person. I grew up with cats, dogs, horses, chickens, cows. While I love all animals, cats are my animal companion of choice. They’re relatively low maintenance, and they’re great at keeping you company. My husband and I have had as many as five cats in our household at once.

A few years back, after the last two of our cats (both 17 years old) passed away, we went to the local no-kill cat rescue to adopt two adult cats. As I sat there playing with the cats, I overheard an incredible conversation that broke my heart. A woman had brought in the family cats so the shelter could put them up for adoption. The reason? They were scratching up her furniture and carpets, and she couldn’t deal with the occasional hairball because it was gross.

Well… duh. They’re cats.

Colorado is one of the states to have recently banned the declawing of cats. Declawing is a horrible, disfiguring practice. It can change a cat’s entire personality and can cause behavioral issues like defecating outside the litter box. So the fact that declawing is now banned (at least in my state) is a blessing for cats everywhere. It’s not such a blessing for would-be pet owners who won’t tolerated cats who scratch.

I think it’s important for people, before choosing to get a pet, to do their research. Living with animals requires a certain tolerance for messes, inconveniences, and some moderate destruction of personal property. In the case of cats, getting claw marks in furniture, on soft woods, having to vacuum more due to scattered litter and hair fluff, having to wash the carpet more (due to hacked up hairballs), and occassionally dealing with scratching on surfaces that should not be scratched is all part of the package.

Not all cats will use the 5 scratching posts you’ve provided for them. Some cats are tempermental and will poop outside the box if it’s not clean enough – or you’ve pissed them off. Some cats get sick and will urinate outside the box because there is an underlying medical issue you may not know about. That’s the nature of having cats.

When we adopted two of the cats we have now, we knew going in that they could have health or behavioral issues we didn’t know about. One of our fur babies, as it turned out, has severe food allergies that lead to asthma attacks if left untreated. It’s been a struggle dealing with a sick cat who needs daily medication and care (especially when she’s not feeling like being caught). The other, unbeknownst to us, was practically feral and is very moody. She chooses where she defecates based on mood.

Our third cat was one we adopted who had been a lone office cat. His struggle is that he doesn’t know how to use a scratching post, and he had never been around other cats – so he’s kind of a dick.

But we have adapted and got by. My house sometimes smells like cat shit or pee when you walk in because I have to keep one of the cat boxes in my living room for the one who is practically feral because it’s the only one she’ll use. The trim on my coat closet has been ripped up by the sharp claws of the cat who refused to use the scratching posts all over the house (I actually got him a cardboard scratcher he now uses, along with the couch). My carpets cluttered with cat toys and have cat fluff on them. Sometimes you’ll see puke stains before I run my carpet cleaner across the floors (which I do a few times a month). Bits of my carpet have been pulled up where they scratch on the carpet. My furniture will sometimes have cat hair on it because – cats are hairy.

These are things those who choose cats as animal companions should expect. Certainly not all cats will have these issues. I was lucky for years and had four cats who always used their litter boxes and never scratched beyond their scratching posts. One used to destroy paper. As they got older and geriatric, there would be the occassional mess on the carpet. Hocked up hairballs are nothing new. But even then, I knew what to expect going in.

I’ve seen cats given up for adoption or abandoned when people move for far less. For simply being cats. So please, before opening your home up to any animal companion – be sure to understand the nature of the animal you’re adopting and make sure none of the possible behaviors is a deal breaker for you. Make sure your kids aren’t allergic first. Make sure you’re willing to accept hacked up hairballs. Make sure no surface in your house is so precious that you’d panic or fly into a rage if there was a mark on it. Make sure you don’t mind vacuuming or cleaning floors often. Make sure you are willing to clean litter boxes on a regular basis.

No animal should be abandoned at a shelter just because the person who brought them into their family didn’t realize that cats scratch and hack up hairballs, or that dogs need a lot of attention, and teething puppies sometimes chew on things or make messes in the house. Or that ferrets love to tear up furniture and hide fruit under things where it’s left to rot and stink. I could go on.

So that’s my public service post for the year. Do your research before you adopt and I hope you and your animal companions have long, happy lives together.

[theemightypen]

I wish you would write a fic where... modern!Eomer fosters a bunch of kittens with his tiny wife Lothiriel

This got a bit long, per usual, and has a slight angsty bit towards the end, but I hope y’all enjoy it regardless!

“Pippin,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off the migraine he feel swiftly approaching, “explain to me again, why there are five kittens in my house.”

Pippin offers him what Eomer supposes is supposed to be a winning smile, but all it serves is to make his head throb in response. “Well, me and Merry’s place doesn’t allow cats, Arwen is allergic so she and Aragorn are out, Gimli and Legolas are off gallivanting around the country again, Sam and Rosie have the baby–there’s nowhere else for them to go! The closest shelter is nearly full, and isn’t no-kill– ”

“And Lothiriel said they’d be welcome,” Merry pipes in, unhelpfully.

I love my wife, Eomer reminds himself. I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife–

“Lothiriel isn’t here, now,” he reminds them. “And I am much, much less fond of cats than she is–”

“Oh, come on, Eomer,” Merry wheedles. “She’ll be back from Faramir and Eowyn’s in a day or two–what’s the worst that can happen?”

The ‘worst that can happen’, as it turns out, is one leg of their vintage leather couch being scratched to smithereens, two of the kittens outright refusing to use the litter box–they prefer the floor of Eomer’s closet, instead–and Eomer nearly having a heart attack upon waking up to find all five kittens perched on his chest, watching him sleep.

“I love my wife,” he mutters, cleaning up yet another bowl of spilled milk, “I love my wife, I love my wife–”

“Your wife is glad to hear it,” comes Lothiriel’s voice, startling him out of his scrubbing. She must have come in while he was busy cursing the cats in Rohirric, and now she stands in front of him, grinning widely. “What have I done to deserve such adoration?”

“Given Merry and Pippin the idea that we’re running some kind of cat sanctuary out of our house,” he grumbles, but still rises to his knees to accept her kiss in greeting.

“What?” She asks, clearly confused.

As if on cue, a round of high pitched meowing starts in the other room. Lothiriel’s face splits into an enormous smile and she all but knocks him over in her hurry to move into the living room. He groans at the sound of her happy squeal, followed directly after by cooing at the demons that happen to be conveniently kitten-shaped. “Eomer, come here! I need to know what we’re calling them!”

Grumbling, he hefts himself to his feet. The sight that greets him is, admittedly, adorable: his tiny, beautiful wife, all but covered in kittens, happily stroking her hands over each one in turn. Or, it would be adorable, had the kittens not made themselves the bane of his existence over the course of the previous 48 hours.

“I haven’t named them,” he admits, begrudgingly settling down beside her on the floor, his back pressed against the ruined couch-leg.

“Oh, bad form, husband mine,” she chides, scratching the solitary orange cat between its ears, “no wonder they’ve done a number on you. They don’t feel welcome!”

“They’re cats, Lothiriel,” Eomer grouses.

“Kittens,” she corrects, bumping his shoulder with hers. “And they need names.”

The orange cat is quickly named ‘Tigger’, his three grey sisters deemed ‘Smoke’, ‘Cinderella’, and ‘Twilight’, until only the last, tawny colored kitten remains. He’s been a particular thorn in Eomer’s side, responsible for both the couch leg and the majority of the accidents in his closet.

“Trouble,” he suggests.

Lothiriel smiles, crooking a finger under the kitten’s chin. “What do you say to that, little one?”

The answering purr decides it.

(“Lothiriel,” he murmurs, the following night when he finds her curled up in bed, the kittens arranged in the space where she’s curved herself around them, “we’re not keeping them.”

She shoots him a look that he knows all too well–it’s one of the first things he’d ever fallen in love with about her, that look. “We’ll see about that.”)

As it turns out, they don’t keep all of the kittens. Eothain and his wife could use a mouse-hunter for their stables, and Cinderella has been training by pouncing on Eomer’s feet for the better part of two months. Elphir wants a calm, gentle first pet for his little daughter, and Smoke, with her wide-green eyes and sweet disposition, is the perfect fit. Tigger and Twilight are adopted by Gimli and Legolas, not only for their personalities but also for the high likelihood of their presence in the men’s apartment to guarantee the absence of irritating in-laws–on both sides.

Trouble, however, stays. Much to Eomer’s chagrin, the cat has been Lothiriel’s special darling from the very first, curling himself around her feet at every opportunity, being pampered with tuna packs and chin scratches.

He also has the particularly annoying habit of hissing at Eomer any time he shows Lothiriel the barest semblance of physical affection. Takes her hand while watching a movie? Hissing. Dare to kiss her temple while they’re making dinner? More hissing. And Bema forbid he attempt to coax his wife into the bedroom with the damned cat watching–Eomer’s got three, claw-shaped scars on his ankle for daring to want to make love to his wife.

“He’s just protective,” Lothiriel reasons, plastered pleasantly to his side, lips swollen from kissing and her hair a rumpled mess from his hands. Trouble is yowling his displeasure from outside the door, but thankfully, Eomer is proving to be a better distraction to his softly smiling wife.

“He’s a damned nuisance,” Eomer grumbles, but he kisses her responding frown away before she can truly get upset. “But he has his uses.”

“Such as?” She asks, with an arched eyebrow.

“Well, for starters, he helps keep those ice-blocks you call feet warm–”

Eomer receives a pillow to the face for his comment, but a kiss follows quickly after, before he can bemoan abuse.

The day he decides Trouble is worth, well, the trouble, is when he comes home to find all of the lights turned off. It’s a dreary day, anyways, with rain pattering against the windows, but something feels…off.

“Lothiriel?” He calls.

There’s no response. The kitchen is empty, as is the living room, the dining room…Concern mounting, he opens the door to their bedroom. Lothiriel is there, curled beneath the covers, with Trouble perched by her head. The cat offers him a steady look, for once not on the verge of attack at his appearance.

“Lothiriel,” Eomer says again, worry turning swiftly to panic when her response is a slightly muffled sob. He kicks off his shoes, gingerly settling onto the bed behind her. Usually, if he gets this close, Trouble is waiting with his teeth bared and claws at the ready, but instead the cat has scooted closer to the object of their shared concern, his tail twitching nervously as she continues to cry.

Eomer tucks himself behind her, relaxing slightly when one of her hands drifts up to pull his arm around her. “Sweetheart, please,” he says, trying to keep his voice even, “talk to me.”

It takes a few more minutes for her to calm down to where she’s not shaking in his arms anymore, and even then, it’s not until Trouble gently nudges his face against her own before she speaks, saying in a tiny voice, “I’m not pregnant.”

Oh, Bema, he thinks, even as he pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. They’ve been married nearly three years now, and they hadn’t been in any hurry to have children, but with Aragorn and Arwen pregnant with their second, and Elboron born a few months back, it’s understandable that Lothiriel has had babies on the brain, and apparently, in her heart. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

She sniffles, but threads her fingers through his all the same. “It’s so stupid–I was only a week late, but I thought–I hoped–” He can hear her swallow, and sees Trouble nuzzle her again. “What if something is wrong with me?” Lothiriel asks, voice as small as he’s ever heard it.

“Then we’ll go to a doctor,” he says, firmly, “it could easily be on my end, Loth, and it isn’t if we’ve really been trying.”

“I know, I know,” she says. “It’s stupid.”

“Not stupid,” he assures her, giving her a gentle tug until she’s rolled over in his arms, facing him, “never stupid. And if something is wrong, well…we’ve got Trouble, haven’t we?”

That startles a watery laugh out of her and she tucks her head under his chin. “You don’t even like Trouble.”

“No, but you do,” Eomer concedes. “I will insist we draw the line at calling him our ‘fur-baby’, or anything else nausea inducing–”

She pinches him. They’re both quiet for a moment, Eomer absent-mindedly running a hand through her hair. Her murmured, “I love you”, is almost lost under the sound of Trouble’s purring, but Eomer hears it all the same.

(A year later, when Elfwine is born, Eomer can only laugh at Faramir’s disgruntled expression when he’s preventing from holding his nephew by a hissing ten-pound ball of yellow fur.

“I see why he’s earned his name,” Eowyn laughs, balancing Elboron on her hip. “What I can’t fathom is how you’ve put up with him for two years, Eomer.”

“We’ve reached an understanding,” Eomer says, attempting to sound regal.

“Or they both realized how much it upset me that they didn’t get along,” Lothiriel adds with a grin. “Neither man nor cat enjoys being made to sleep on the couch.”)

[gamebunny-color-sp]

It Looks Like I Probably Won’t Be Able to Get A Cat After All...

I’ve been trying write this post for the past few days, but it always devolved into wishing my dad had stayed lost (and worse). I’ve calmed down a bit since then, but I think that I should still write about it. Just to get it out of my system, because dwelling on it has really been stressing me out and writing about my problems usually makes me feel at least a *little* better. You don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. There’s nothing happy/good in it, so don’t let this be something to ruin your day. 

So I was doing some research on how the adoption process would probably go, and one of the main bullet points of this particular adoption facility (and probably most others) is that I need to have the consent/approval of all the adults in the house. So of course that means I *have* to ask my dad if he’s okay with it. Because of how distant he is, I kind of just expected him to say “I don’t care.” in a “do what you want” sort of way, but that isn’t what happened.

Of course he meant “no”. And that would have been fine. It’s not like I can’t handle not getting what I want. Despite the childish things that I like, I am an adult and like most adults I know how to live with disappointment. This rant isn’t because “Dad doesn’t let me do what I want.”, this is more “I can’t believe that this unstable man in partially in charge of my life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

It wasn’t the “no” that upset it me. It’s all the vitriol and pettiness that came with it. It’s not enough for him to say “No, I don’t think you’re capable of caring for a cat.” because yeah, to be honest I’m kinda terrible with small animals. I’ve never been able to truly bond with them, so I get bored and slowly stop taking care of them like I should. And of course I’ve mentioned several times that I don’t take good care of myself either (mostly due to depression). My room is always a mess. I always leave my half-eaten food out because I don’t like leaving my room. But I know all that (obviously). I’ve always thought of myself as irresponsible because I have such low commitment to everything. As childish as it may seem for an adult, doing simple things like cleaning my room are difficult for me because I don’t have any motivation to do so. That’s why doing so was my ultimatum for getting a cat in the first place. If I could find a way to muster the energy to make my place “liveable”, then perhaps I could do the same for the sake of an animal that I should have an easier time bonding with. I’ve thought about that ever since seeing posts about how you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. You can stay alive for the sake of another person or for an animal. I thought that maybe I could do that. And the thought of that made me so happy. The thought of not being lonely, made me so happy.

I tried to bring the cat adoption to his attention when we passed in each other in the living room. I said something to the effect of “I’m only bringing this up because I have to, but would you be okay with a cat in the house?”

Firstly he opened with “Yes I would like the 100,000 dollars that y’all are hoarding away. What is it?” He said this in the middle of my prompting the question and then proceeded to say (more or less his exact words): “You’ve proven that you’re too fucking filthy for a cat. Cats are dirty animals. They shit inside. I’m not going to be the one stuck with cleaning out that litter box.”

As he was about to go on one of his famous tirades, I just said “I’ve heard enough. Thank you for your answer.” and I said that everytime he tried to say something like that.

Now I don’t talk about it much because I don’t like accepting charity or even opening up the idea of it, but my family is doing pretty badly moneywise. It’s mostly just that we have a lot of bills, and not everyone is contributing to paying them. My dad doesn’t because he walked out on his job. Wasn’t fired (for once), just walked out in a fit of insanity (I mean that literally. how he was even able to drive back home in that state is a mystery to me) and my brother because he’s just kind of an asshole. He just makes up reasons to not help with the bills. 

We’ve been having troubles like that ever since I was in middle school, but they’ve gotten worse with my dad’s car accident a few years ago (and thus subsequent new car bills) and increasing medical bills beginning with my stay in the mental ward, my brother’s work injury, and now my dad’s two hospital stays, both invoked by his own poor mental state. Of course, I don’t intend to blame my dad for ALL of our money problems because that isn’t quite true. But I think that most of them can be linked to direct results of his actions.

And of course I know by now that he really isn’t mentally stable, and it’s only made him more and more verbally abusive. It probably isn’t “fair” to be mad at someone who’s so clearly delusional, but I also don’t think it’s “fair” that we have to deal with it. It’s not fair that I have to get so much stress and grief just from talking to him. It’s because of him, going on one of his insane spiels that I’ve actually harmed myself. Me, who has so little tolerance for pain, never once scarred myself even when I was actually suicidal. I still have the scars from that incident. A parent should never *EVER* be the cause of self harm. There is not an excuse in the world that will ever make me forgive him for bringing my mental state so low.

He’s always blaming someone else for his problems and the situation that we’re in because he won’t/can’t take responsibility for his actions. I think part of that is probably spurred on by my mom who wants him to “man up for once”, but she should know that that just isn’t something he’s capable of.

He’s always saying that “we can’t leave him with nothing.” that “why am I the only one who’s left with nothing.”, referring to money and the possibility of mom divorcing him. But he’s left himself with nothing. Because he refuses to get help. Because he rejects the people that try to get him help.

When he was taken to the hospital the first time, and we visited him all he did was belittle mom for making him go there because he wasn’t in his right mind. He did the same thing when he was taken to the hospital a second time when he went missing. Mom and my brother were the only ones that went looking for him. At that point I really didn’t care. I was pretty happy to have him gone. Elated that I could finally get a good night’s rest without hearing his angry babbling at night.

When I found out he came back I was honestly very disappointed especially after learning how he’d cursed the people who found him and the hospital for labeling him “John Doe”. But even so, he did actually seem like he was trying to get better after that. He started doing the yard work again, getting exercise, eating right. And for a little while I thought that maybe he was actually healing. And that almost made me happy for him. I even started talking to him every now and again.

But that was short lived.

His ramblings came back and he was even more passive aggressive than usual. Even when I tried talking to him, he’d always leave me feeling bad by the end of it, because there was always something or someone that he had to curse. Always someone that he was angry at. His nice tone was only ever to cover the fact that he’s still as inconsiderate, spiteful, and completely lacking in self-awareness as he ever was and had.

And it pains me so much that there’s nothing much I can do to escape. That this fucking parasite lives me and has any semblance of control over my actions. I don’t make enough money to move out on my own. I don’t have any friends I can really go to for a situation this bad and my personality is too twisted to really make new ones or consider finding a roommate. Even if I could leave, the bills won’t go away, and I don’t want to leave my mom with that. My brother doesn’t seem to give a damn about anyone else but himself. He’ll leave the house for weeks for “a job” on end without telling anyone. He’s just chasing paper, but still won’t help pay the bills with whatever money he has. He’s probably on his way to moving out himself. And my dad will just keep cursing the world for not being able to get a job. For not having any money. For being put in a hospital. For getting in an accident. For the neighbors trying to help us. 

I really do wish that he had just stayed lost. If he had just stayed gone, I wouldn’t be experiencing so much grief. The only thing that keeps me from offing myself is thinking about how much more grief it would bring my mom and how unfair it would be for me to die while he continues to live. 

It hurts to think about.

But I think I feel a little better. Maybe if I save enough money I will be able to get out of here. I can just send my mom a check for what she needs. It’ll take me a while, but maybe it’s possible. Maybe I’ll even feel confident enough to open commissions or something. I’ve always wanted to, but I feel like if I started I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it. But maybe I should. 

[thewarlocksbitch]

I will be your: hands, eyes, heart

prev - chapter 10 - next

word count - 5k

thank you to chloe for beta editing

read it on ao3

+

When Adam left the trailer park behind a week before term started, the last thing he would have imagined was returning to Henrietta so soon.

But here they were. Ronan, purposeful and confident behind the wheel of the BMW, calm and focused in a way that made Adam wonderfully content to witness, and Adam, sprawled with the seat leaned back at a relaxed 120 degrees, aimlessly sorting through Ronan’s CD collection as he unsuccessfully thought through his plan to disconnect the faeries from the ley line.

They passed trees and more trees, so fast that Adam could only see a green blur. Ronan had overshot on the highway and taken the wrong exit, and because of this, they did not pass Aglionby. Adam wasn’t sure if it had been an accident. It wasn’t important whether it was, but it was something to think about.

His mind had been reeling since last night, uselessly coming up with theories on what Ronan wanted to tell him and then shooting them down. It had to be very important. It might be what Gansey and Ronan had been keeping from him. It might be the key to all of this.

Adam tried not to let himself dwell on it too much. He thought that if he completely let his mind run wild with Ronan beside him he would start spouting theories and never stop.

Instead, he kept flipping through Ronan’s CD’s. Over and over and over, until suddenly Ronan was slowing the BMW and turning it into a gravel driveway overgrown with forest. Adam put the CD’s down and sat up.

The Barns, Ronan had called this place. But the reality was not anything like what Adam had imagined.

It was fields. And hills. Hills and hills and hills, rolling and sloshing and stretching on forever in a sea of lush green. Dotted all along them like small sneezes of occupation were run-down barns and then even more run-down barns, held up by leaning trees and propped slats of plywood. Crowded around one of the barns were cows of all colors, half-hidden in the grass, swishing their tails at flies with lazy contempt. It looked like something straight out of a children’s fantasy book. It looked like a home.

Adam was stupidly stunned by the beauty of it.

They came up to a house. It was white, all repaired corners and shabby shutters. It looked comfortably homey and exactly like the place where someone like Ronan Lynch might grow up. Ronan got out of the car and slammed the door behind himself.

“Not here,” he said, when Adam slid out of the car and stepped towards the house. “Not yet.”

“Okay.” Adam let the car door fall shut. Ronan walked around the car and past him to a tree heavily laden with odd fruit. He reached for the lowest hanging branch and plucked two fruits. He shoved one in his mouth and tossed the other one to Adam. Adam caught it between his two palms. It was warm and sticky to the touch.

Adam wasn’t hungry. He put the fruit in his pocket. “What kind of tree is that?”

“Imported,” Ronan said, through a mouthful of juice. “Come on.”

He turned on his heel and led Adam around the house to the largest barn, the only one that seemed to be in any state of use. Its double doors were open, with a few cows loitering between them. Adam and Ronan weaved through the rest of the herd as they made their way up the field.

One cow looked up from its grazing and mooed balefully at Ronan. It was very pretty, with a wide brown face and dull blue eyes. Ronan paused for a second to rub behind its ears. Then he strode through the barn doors, not even looking to see if Adam followed.

Inside, the barn was dark and damp, with the scent of grass and shit and grain in the air. A few cows were inside, but they were not like the others. They slept, some standing, some on the floor, some curled up like cats. They did not look up or stir at all when Ronan and Adam walked by.

Ronan stopped in front of a door that looked like it’d been added to the barn as an afterthought. Adam hadn’t noticed before, but now that Ronan had stopped moving he could see that Ronan was shifty, restless, like Noah on one of his good days but unhappy. He turned away from Adam and put his hand on the knob. “This was my father’s office,” he said.

Was. Adam hadn’t known Ronan’s father was dead.

Ronan opened the door.

The “office” could barely be considered that. It was a very small room, dimly lit by a single light bulb that hung from the low ceiling. There was a cushioned office chair with an old quilt thrown over it pushed up against a desk that looked more like a worktable than anything else; it was covered with so much dust and clutter that Adam couldn’t make himself focus on any of it.

Ronan went over to the table. He picked up what appeared to be a small, clear glass cube. “Have you ever seen anything like this before?” he asked, handing it to Adam.

Adam looked at it. It was much heavier than he had expected, and upon closer inspection he saw that it had something inside of it: a flower that bloomed and died, bloomed and died, all while suspended in midair. Adam handed it back to him, confused. “No.”

Ronan grabbed another object from the table. “What about this?”

This one looked more like something you would find in a barn. It was a rusty hammer, and seemed completely normal except for the fact that it was both made of metal and was feather-light and feather-soft to the touch. “I haven’t,” Adam said slowly.

“My dad,” Ronan said, and those two words came out of him so raw that Adam had to look away for a few seconds. “My father, he made these things. Look.” Ronan tried to hand another object to Adam, but Adam wouldn’t take it.

“What are you trying to tell me?” he asked.

Ronan took the flower box and the hammer from Adam. His jaw set as he decided something. He never beat around the bush, Adam knew; he picked up a machete and obliterated it.

He turned away from Adam and braced his hands on the worktable. "I can take things out of my dreams," he said.

Adam must have misheard him. Or Ronan was messing with him. "Things?" he said.

"Lights,” Ronan said, turning around to face Adam. “The fucking glasses. Gansey's car. Chainsaw. Half the cows in that fucking field. Things."

Adam stared at Ronan. Ronan stared back, no amount of humor in his expression. Adam felt, all at once, a tilting vertigo as his brain tried to process this. Ronan, who was plagued by nightmares and insomnia, who refused to let Adam get too close. His pet raven that he'd previously claimed to have found. The strange knickknacks that littered his and Gansey’s apartment: the game controllers that needed no batteries, the generation-old mixtapes and CD’s, the plants that looked nothing like plants were supposed to look and that never needed watering.

The unsureness, the nervous heat in Adam's chest that came with the knowledge of something too big to contain, left him all at once.

"Whatever." Ronan said, already turning away from Adam, always turning away. "It's not that big of a deal."

"No," Adam said, but Ronan was already past him and at the door. "Ronan, stop. It makes sense."

Ronan stopped, his hand crushing on the door knob. "This makes sense to you?" he asked, his tone bristling, all of his defenses up.

Adam, ever the scholar, ever the scientist, felt better now that he knew. It was easy to accept that Ronan was a creature who could do this kind of thing, this impossible thing. It was easier to accept than Gansey's death and rebirth and Noah's ghostliness and the possibility of a king sleeping somewhere underground. Because Ronan wasn’t like other people. He wasn’t like anything else at all.

The more startling part of all this was that Ronan had told him.

"It makes sense," Adam repeated, careful like he was talking to a frightened animal. Ronan merely looked at him, his arms hugging each other over his chest. He raised an eyebrow, waiting. "It's surprising," Adam said, exasperated. Ronan was expecting him to spit out his reasons for accepting this, and Adam didn't know anything except that he just did. "But... it makes sense. I don't know. You're not giving me any time to process this. But I guess I get it." "You guess?" Ronan said. Adam frowned at him. "Are you just going to keep repeating everything I say to make me feel stupid?" "Maybe. No," Ronan said, and he laughed, the harshness of it betraying his anxiety.

“I mean,” Adam said, and paused. He was experiencing a mental block that refused to let him arrange his fragmented thoughts into sentences. “It’s makes sense that you can dream things into reality, but the actual dreaming part doesn’t make sense.”

“The fuck?” said Ronan.

Adam pushed his glasses up a little to rub at his eyes. “How does it actually work? Where do you get the things? How are they made? Do you even follow Newton’s third law?”

Ronan shrugged. “It’s connected to the ley line. Or I am. Same difference.”

Adam dropped his hands from his face. “What do you mean?”

Ronan pulled at the leather bands around his wrist. He looked almost self-conscious. “It calls me Greywaren.”

Adam stared at Ronan. Greywaren. It did not sound like an ordinary word, or even a word crafted in the language of humans. It sounded ancient, foreign, past the understanding of this time or place in the universe. It sounded magical.

It was the big secret. And it fit Ronan perfectly.

“Show me,” Adam said.

Ronan sighed. Then, pushing the door open into the rest of the barn, he almost smiled. “I knew you’d say that.”

+

Adam followed Ronan up to the front door of the house. He stood off to the side as Ronan flipped over the door mat - it read Welcome to Our Kingdom - and grabbed a key from underneath it.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit obvious?” Adam asked him.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Ronan said. “The only thing you have to worry about out here is bears.”

Adam shrugged and didn’t reply. What they were about to do felt too big for casual conversation.

Ronan pushed the door open with just enough force that it opened all of the way but didn’t hit the inside wall, like he’d done it before, like he’d done it a million times. He tucked the key back under the mat.

“Come on,” he said, though Adam was already stepping through the door.

The inside of the house looked much less magical, much more ordinary, but it still wasn’t what Adam had expected. Everywhere were things that had obviously lived more than one life, or had at least had a very difficult and damaging first one. A rusted key hook hung on the wall near the door, next to a rack holding dusty jackets and stiff raincoats. An oil painting of a forest hung on the wall opposite, framed by four shoddily nailed together pieces of wood.

“Come on,” Ronan said again, pushing past Adam and up the carpeted stairs, so fast Adam barely saw the kitchen and sitting room except for a few details: chipped, shabby cabinets; an antique vase full of flowers, a calendar, dull metal swords, too many rugs to count rolled up and pushed into a corner, a red rocking chair.

Ronan flicked on the light when he reached the top of the stairs and paused. Adam stopped, too, on the second-to-last step.

Ronan half-turned to look down at him, his arm braced against the wall. Adam watched the muscles in his arm tense and shift beneath his skin. His flower tattoo looked delicate and improbable on the thin skin of his hand.

“My room,” Ronan said, “is at the end. The last on the left.”

“Alright,” Adam said.

Ronan looked at him for a second, then turned and stared down the hall for a second longer. Then he pushed off the wall and walked down to the last door on the left. It fell open with the soft creak of mechanical tiredness.

The inside of Ronan’s room looked just like Ronan, except it was bright and personal at first glance instead of hiding what it contained. It was a cluttered mess of what Adam imagined to be the ideal childhood: toy trucks and mud-caked sneakers and expensive instruments forgotten on the floor, only half secured in their cases. A pair of swim goggles and four boxes of Legos and a giant stuffed bear. A twin-sized bed, with the comforter and pillows tucked in tight and a thick quilt thrown carelessly across it.

Ronan stepped into the room and, after another glance at Adam, he sat down on the bed.

Some things were not what Adam would have ever imagined: a teeter toy that swayed rapidly though nothing had disturbed it, a children’s book that lay face-up on the floor, its pages flipping back and forth as if pushed by a fan; the almost unnatural brightness and hue of the bedside lamp.

Adam walked over to the dresser. It was child-sized, only coming up to his hips. One of the drawers was half-open. Peeking out from it was a toy snake that blinked.

Adam looked at Ronan.

“Dream thing,” Ronan said. He was holding something small in his hand.

Adam went to sit beside him. The bed dipped under their weight. Ronan was warm against him.

Ronan rolled the thing between his thumb and finger. It was a green pill.

“If you want me to show you,” Ronan said, “I can use this.”

He said it like someone would say, if you want to see this snake bite me, I can put my hand in its mouth.

“What does it do?” Adam asked. He leaned in to get a better look at the pill, but there was nothing written on it, no dosage, no brand. Ronan’s breath ghosted over the back of his neck.

Ridiculously, Adam thought about turning his head and kissing Ronan. It had been on the back of his mind all day - it had been on the back of his mind for days - but it had been somewhat easy to ignore in the face of everything else going on. But in this small room, pressed against Ronan, it was hard to forget.

“I don’t really need it now, because I know how to take things out of my head, but when I was first learning I used these to make it easier. Now I just need it to fall asleep fast.”

“Is it safe?” Adam asked.

“It hasn’t killed me yet,” Ronan said. Then, “Kavinsky made them.”

“Kavinsky,” Adam said slowly. “He taught you.”

“Kind of,” Ronan admitted.

Adam wanted to ask what Kavinsky really was to Ronan. He wanted to know what Ronan really was to him. He wanted to kiss the complicated pull of Ronan’s mouth.

Ronan scooted away from Adam, then laid back on the bed. He was much too big for it; his height was all legs, and half of them hung off the end. Ronan rolled the pill between his thumb and forefinger. He glanced at Adam and away. “What do you want me to bring back?”

Adam half twisted his body to look at Ronan, his hands braced on the soft mattress, keeping him from toppling over every time Ronan shifted, trying to get comfortable. “You make it sound like you’re going to the grocery store.”

“So not a sandwich, then.”

“Bring back something you like,” Adam said. “Something magical.”

“Something magical,” Ronan repeated. He put the pill on his tongue. “Don’t watch if you’re gonna freak out,” he said.

“I’m not gonna freak out,” Adam told him.

Ronan closed his eyes. He swallowed the pill. His pulse visibly picked up, and stopped.

“Ronan,” Adam said.

Ronan did not move. He looked, for all intents and purposes, dead. Adam held his breath. He was not going to freak out.

With a violent jerk, Ronan came to life: his eyes shot open, the muscles in his arms seized, his pulse crashed again against the skin of his throat. Something green writhed in his hand. He looked from Adam to the thing in his hand, his eyes the only part of him moving with any semblance of control. After a moment of hesitation, Adam reached forward and took the impossible object from Ronan’s hands.

It was a plant. It had stopped writhing now that Adam had righted it, and its trailing vines, unencumbered by pot or soil, wrapped themselves around Adam’s wrist and fingers. It still swayed back and forth with more force than could be blamed on any breeze from the fan or air vents. With its mouth-like flowers, it snapped at the dust motes that lazily floated in the slats of sunlight coming in from the window.

Ronan sat up. “Fuck,” he said eloquently.

“You dreamt this,” Adam said, starting to freak out a little, unsure if he had really, truly believed Ronan could do it until he was holding the evidence in his hand. “It came from your head.”

“Yeah,” Ronan said. “I was going for a house plant lamp thing, but then I started thinking about how you’re always eating protein bars.” He reached a hand towards the plant, but drew back when it started to reach a vine towards him. “I think it’s sentient.”

“You can create something sentient?” Adam said.

“Chainsaw,” Ronan reminded him plainly.

Adam just sat there, staring between Ronan and the plant, feeling like he'd stepped into or stolen someone else's life. People like Ronan didn't just happen to you.

“I don’t think my dorm allows pets,” Adam said uneasily. As if it had heard him, the plant tightened its vines around him.

“Here,” said Ronan, reaching to untangle the plant. His fingers were surprisingly warm on Adam’s wrist. As soon as Ronan had reached forward, the plant had stretched a vine towards him and now it was as attached to Ronan as it was to Adam.

Adam kept himself still until he was finally free. Ronan disentangled the plant from himself and set it on his dresser, where it immediately began to grab drawer knobs and picture frames.

Ronan turned away from the dresser and faced Adam. “Do you believe me now?”

Adam nodded, a little overwhelmed by Ronan’s strangeness and a lot overwhelmed by the position they were both in: Adam, sitting on the bed, almost casually, and Ronan, still breathing hard from his dreaming, standing just a few inches in front of him. He doubted Ronan noticed, but he still felt himself flush.

Adam looked around. “What else in here is a dream thing?”

It was a lot, apparently. Ronan showed him iridescent spinning tops and fire-breathing toy dragons, and demonstrated how the strange and whimsical knickknacks on the windowsill worked. He tapped a rusted spout on the wall and out poured shiny candies. The plastic windmill standing beside a photo of Ronan and Gansey began to sing and dance when he blew on it.

“So, pretty much everything,” Ronan said. He sat back down on the bed, this time on the side far away from Adam. “There’s actually something I wanted you to look at.”

He reached under the bed and produced a shimmery, almost translucent looking blanket. Adam brought one leg up onto the bed and folded it under him, turning towards Ronan.

Ronan gathered the blanket in his arms and held it close to his chest. He didn’t turn to face Adam yet. “I dreamt it the night before Gansey and I left for college,” he said. “I think that it might help us find the faerie ring.”

Adam reached forward. He touched the blanket, then slid his fingers into the juncture between Ronan’s thumb and open palm, not sure of his intent or why he did it but sure that he didn’t want to move away. Ronan tilted his face down to the touch, his eyes veiled by long dark eyelashes.

“How does it work?” Adam asked, his voice a raspy thing in his throat.

“You put it around you, and, uh,” Ronan was red to the tips of his ears, and Adam couldn’t help the stupid, face-splitting smile that overcame him. “You see things. Or it helps you scry. I don’t really know.”

“Well,” Adam said. He pulled his hand away. He swallowed. “Let me try it.”

Ronan handed it to him. It was cool to the touch, and slipped against his skin like silk. He lifted it and swung it around to rest over his shoulders. Nothing immediately happened, so Adam ducked his head to completely cover himself.

“Wait,” Ronan said. “Keep your hand out. I’ll ground you, just in case.”

It was the practical thing to say, but it still made Adam flush.

He held Ronan’s hand, fingers interlaced tightly, wrist against wrist, rapid pulse against rapid pulse. He pulled the blanket all the way over his head. He closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he was in another world entirely.

Adam stood. He’d been crouching on the forest floor, and leaves and dust fell from his shoulders and hair as if he’d been there for a very long time. Maybe he had. He couldn’t remember.

He was in the Charlottesville forest they often ventured in, the one with the first faerie ring. Adam couldn’t see it, and he didn’t know where in the forest he was, but he somehow knew exactly how to find it.

He began walking. Everything about the forest was the same, and everything was different. The trees shifted and shuddered above him, every sound of their leaves brushing as clear and clean as water over rock.

Adam walked under them, stumbled among their great, twisting roots, an insignificant human. He felt as if he were in a state of over-conscious hypnagogia, seeing everything as too real and too dreamlike.

Dreamlike. That made him think of Ronan. He remembered Ronan, in the realest sense. He was back in the farmhouse with Adam’s body, with Adam, holding his hand and watching him intently so he didn’t get too far away.

But Adam didn’t feel like he’d get too far away. He felt like he couldn’t get far enough. Ronan had given him this thing, this thing that made everything so clear, and Adam was going to use it to get exactly what he needed.

He started walking faster. He would be at the ring in less than a minute, and there would be a faerie waiting for him. Adam would talk to it. They would understand each other. He would figure out how to get rid of it and get Noah back.

The trees shuddered and shuddered, sounding more frightening now. Adam stopped and looked up at them. They shook at him, menacingly. Leaves fell and fell but not one fell on Adam.

Stranger, a voice whispered. Unfamiliar. It was a tree, or trees. Of course it was. Of course it was. Of course-

“I’ve been here before,” Adam said. “This is exactly where I should be.”

And the trees were quiet. And Adam walked on.

He came to the faerie ring differently than he had before, in real life, or in whatever other dimension or time his real life was. There was no following of the stream downhill, and no picking across rocks to avoid soiling his shoes. Adam simply decided to arrive at the faerie ring, and he did.

But it wasn’t the right one. It was not even a ring; a single line of mushrooms and stones ran in an almost indiscernible curve across the beaten path Adam stood on. He stopped in front of them. He knew better than to step inside.

He turned around, and was unmistakably in Henrietta.

Adam didn’t need to look behind him to know he was still standing at the cusp of the new ring; he could feel its power, like he could feel the sun on his face and neck. Henrietta forest stretched out endlessly in front of him. Which meant that the giant ring was in Henrietta.

He started walking. He knew where the giant ring was now, but there was still something else he needed.

Standing alone on the path in front of him as if suddenly called into existence was a tree. An oak. It was gnarled, ancient, weathered by more than age. Adam stopped in front of it. There was a cavity rotted through it that looked more like a black hole than anything else. He put his hand to the edge, where the bark gave way to blackness, and it crumbled under his fingers, brittle as charcoal.

Somehow, Adam knew that he was supposed to step inside the tree. And once he knew, he did.

It was warm, and moist, and smelled like life and death at the same time. It was the smell of home, of too-hot summers spent in the car garage to avoid going inside, of baggy clothes and ugly bruises and forged doctor's notes; it was sudden and overwhelming, and it choked Adam with a sick sort of longing. He closed his eyes against it.

“Adam,” he heard Ronan say.

Adam knelt down. He pressed his hands into the dead foliage in front of him, feeling the moisture from the soil and moss on the forest floor seep into the knees of his jeans. He was no longer inside the tree.

He was aware of Ronan, far away inside the farmhouse, but here with Adam, too, a strange-looking little girl at his side. There was something blurry about them both, something just off enough that Adam couldn’t have mistaken it for the real Ronan.

Adam looked into himself. This was him, and the Adam in the tree was him, and the Adam sitting on Ronan’s bed was him. He felt so removed from himself, so much a stranger to who he was, confused as to whether it mattered which Adam he paid attention to.

This one. He would pay attention to this one, for now. For as long as it took.

Adam blinked, and kneeling in front of him on the other side of the ring was a faerie. It was shimmering, dead, emitting cold like a heater emitted warmth; scorching, everywhere. It opened its mouth, perhaps to say something, perhaps to cast a malicious spell. Its eyes were bright with feeling. Adam could see that it hated him. He could tell that it wanted him dead.

But it couldn’t hurt Adam, not here. There was nothing it could say to him that would help, nothing it could do to change anything. Adam didn’t need it after all; he knew what he was going to do. He had thought the faeries and what they wanted mattered, but they didn’t. He stood and turned away from the faerie.

He looked across the clearing and there was Gansey, looking incredibly substantial and real. He wore a crown and armor, and his expression was the most vivid thing in the forest.

For a moment - not even a moment, a fraction of a second - Adam regretted seeing Gansey like this, because he very acutely realized the second he laid eyes on him that this Gansey had power when Adam didn’t. There was something of the ley line under his skin, something like magic in his eyes.

The Adam in the forest understood what this meant.

He felt the ley lines pulse thrum frantically, desperately, in his own throat. Like it was taking one last breath. Like it was saying goodbye.

“Adam,” Gansey said joyously, “it’s time to wake up.”

+

Adam let the blanket fall from his shoulders. He gripped Ronan’s hand tightly. “The ring is here,” he said. “In that forest. Cabeswater. And I know how to destroy it.”

Ronan’s voice was barely a breath. “Calm down, you asshole,” he said. “You almost died.”

Adam looked at him. “What?”

Ronan made a noise like he was in pain. Then, using his crushing grip on Adam’s hand, he pulled Adam against him.

Instinctively, Adam drew into himself, folding his arms in against his stomach. But he didn’t pull away. Ronan held him close, one hand held captive between them, one arm around Adam’s back, his face pressed fever-hot into Adam’s neck.

“We have to stop,” Ronan said. He sounded angry. “We have to tell Gansey before we do anything else.”

“I’m fine, Ronan,” Adam said, startled.

“You almost died,” Ronan said again. “You stopped breathing for a few seconds.”

There was anger in Ronan’s voice, that emotion Adam knew well. But under it was fear. Fear for Adam.

Slowly, he brought his free hand up to touch the nape of Ronan’s neck. He thought about flattening his hand and pulling Ronan tighter against him, and what that would mean. He did.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I got carried away.”

Ronan was quiet for a few moments, and Adam was quiet, and they were both very still, just listening to each other’s breaths. Adam could feel Ronan against him. His grip was crushing around Adam’s hand and back, and his face was pressed against Adam’s skin.

Adam could feel Ronan’s cheeks, his lips. He scratched lightly at the back of Ronan’s neck and felt his eyelashes flutter.

Ronan’s grip around Adam shifted, causing his shirt to ride up. Adam felt the shocking warmth from the tips of fingers on his bare skin. Ronan didn’t move for a moment, and Adam made some sort of embarrassing noise. Then Ronan rode his fingers up the bumps of Adam’s spine.

“Ronan,” Adam said, and his voice broke off halfway through the name.

Ronan leaned back and looked at Adam. Adam didn’t let go of the back of his neck. Ronan slid his hand from Adam’s back over and up to cup his cheek.

Adam closed his eyes. Ronan kissed him, and kissed him, and Adam felt the faerie ring, not too far away, alive and hateful between them.

[fbwzoo]

Sorry for submitting, but I didn’t want to fill your inbox with asks that tumblr might eat anyways and I want this all to be in one place sdfgsdfgfdg

Do you have any suggestions for a cat with anxiety (I’m not sure what else to call it)

My moms bengal, Toast, seems to be almost constantly stressed/on edge. I think it has something to do with his shitty breeder letting her little shitspawns chase him around and yank on his tail (which he HATES having touched).

If you move to quickly or speak when he doesn’t notice you, he’ll jump and get scared. He’ll come up to you for pets but it usually ends up with him turning around and clawing at your hand if you don’t move away fast enough. He’ll also chase our dogs if they get too close (one actually has a pretty decent scar on his nose that we’re pretty sure is from Toast)

He looks perfectly calm and rubs on your hands but it’s like someone touching him gets him so excited and puts him into hunter mode and he just HAS to try and draw blood from you. I pet his sister (not blood related, we got her a few years before) and she’s perfectly fine so I don’t think I’m doing anything too rough?

He also has issues with the litter box. He pees on the carpet, downstairs couch (which we’ve since removed, and we can’t get another one because he’ll just piss on it and ruin in), he pees on my father’s shoes (ONLY my fathers), sometimes on the child gate that we use to keep our dogs contained in one area, and sometimes shits on the floor. He’ll still use his litter box but every once in a while he just… Doesn’t want to. We have three different boxes (two upstairs and one downstairs) He also vomits a lot (no blood or anything, he just eats too much or gets stressed or chews on the house plant I guess and ends up throwing up)

I’ve told my mom to take him to the vet but we… Are a little over the city limit for pets (we have three dogs and two cats, we’re only supposed to have four dogs or cats). I keep telling her that cats aren’t supposed to shit and piss all over the house and throw up constantly but he’s been doing this for years and like… I’m sure if something was terribly wrong he would be in much worse shape. I hate saying that but I don’t know what else to say about what’s going on with him.

We’ve tried to rehome him but he’s 12 years old and unfortunately no one wants a 12 year old cat with anxiety/stress issues and I refuse to just dump him at a shelter. I’m not sure if he exactly loves us but even though he’s a spirited little bastard I still love him.

We’re working on getting him to the vet to get him checked out (we’re gonna register him under a close friends name and say that we’re just bringing him in for her) but I just… Need to get this out and just ask for help.

I know we’re shitty owners for not taking him to the vet immediately but I can’t drive and I have to wait for my parents to do it. I’m sorry for such a long mess of a submission.

I know it would be easier if I contacted you through my blog but I don’t want death threats/harassment from lunatic tumblr kids.

Thank you so much for your help, please take your time responding to my wordsalad.

I was gonna post & reblog to respond, but decided to do this instead! Hopefully it’s enough separation to distinguish between submission & reply.

Okay so first off - feel free to message me if you want! I don’t know how much I’ll be able to help, necessarily, but I just wanted to throw that out there for you & others. ♥ And also while I haven’t heard of any issues like this from any of my followers so far, I want to be sure I mention that anon hate is NOT okay with me, and if anyone gets anon hate that seems to stem from an ask I posted from them or something I reblogged, please let me know & I’ll do my best to help. I don’t think it’d be an issue with this ask, but worth saying.

On to your kitty problem!

Vet is definitely a good plan. I guess it might depend on your area, but I don’t think you should have any issues with the number of animals thing with your actual vet - they’re there to take care of the animals. They cannot take care of the animals if people are afraid to bring their pets to them because of city laws. It can be harder with illegal pets, but if it’s just because you’re an extra animal over ordinances... I think the vet will still see your cat without reporting you. But I understand that your parents may not agree or be willing to risk it & you can’t decide what they do! I just really think that you need vet help on this situation, and you’ll likely need repeated follow up as well. This isn’t going to be a “one visit fixes all” kind of situation. The vet’s going to catch on if you guys are bringing “your friend’s cat” in every time & can describe everything that’s going on in detail. You might as well just tell them the truth & explain. 

So there’s a lot going on with your kitty & it could all be related, or could be multiple problems. If it’s all been going on for years though, without any one thing worsening, I would guess that he’s very anxious/insecure & needs anxiety medication along with probable environment modifications to help him. But that’ll be something for your vet to determine & diagnose for sure, and I”m sure they’ll have further recommendations for what to do to help him.

Reasons I say this - 

- the petting thing sounds like he’s very easily overstimulated. He wants attention, but getting touched immediately puts him over the threshold because he’s already always so close to it. (Depending on what his body language is like during this, the other possibility is that he’s trying to play, especially if he doesn’t get enough active playtime & exercise. Ditto does this when she doesn’t get enough playtime). 

- Litterbox issues are very common in anxious, insecure, & stressed cats. Peeing in places that smell like your family (dad’s shoes, couch) could be a comfort thing, peeing in other places may be trying to make places smell like him & help his anxiety. Especially the dog gate, as it sounds like the dogs might be a major source of stress for him. If he’s easily overstimulated, I’m sure the dogs are a major trigger for that, so it’d make sense.

- Vomiting can be a variety of issues. Like you said, eating too fast or chewing on plants could both be causes, but food allergies can also cause vomiting. I’m not sure if it’d present with only vomiting or if it would always have other symptoms (like itching, hair loss, etc.) too though.

If it is anxiety, medication from the vet may help, but trying to change some things in your household might help too. These would be some of the things I would consider trying, though I don’t know how much of it will apply to your house/situation. 

- add another litter box downstairs. Make sure litter boxes don’t have tops, are easily accessible, and staying clean. Make sure the dogs aren’t bothering him when he’s in the litter box & making it feel unsafe.

- If at all possible, try to split the house up some. Give him space away from the dogs, especially. Perhaps dogs downstairs, cats upstairs? Or make sure there’s a kitty room where the dogs are 100% not allowed & cannot get into, so he has a retreat. 

- If you can’t split the house up & give him space away from the dogs, make sure he has plenty of climbing retreats. Cat trees, shelves, high beds, raised boxes, etc. Give him someplace to go where they can’t bother him.

- Feliway plug-in! Kind of a catch-all for stressed cats. It emits calming/reassuring pheromones to help tell cats that this place is safe. Plug it in where he seems to spend most of his time, or if you manage to set up a cat-only room or area, plug it in there.

- If he’s eating too fast, make sure he’s not doing so because of the other animals. Give him a place to eat away from the rest of them so he’s calmer about it. You can also try giving him puzzle feeder toys to eat out of, which can slow him down. Get rid of the plant, if possible, or put it someplace where he doesn’t have access to it. The vet may have you try both of these things as well, to rule out these causes before checking into other possible causes.

- Daily playtime, as much on a schedule as you can manage. Probably preaching to the choir here, but bengals are high energy cats & really need that outlet! It may help calm him down some if he’s getting 3-4 bouts of good playtime a day.

Those are the things I can think of. But really, the biggest thing is getting him to the vet for an exam & professional diagnosis of his health & behavior.

@followthebluebell, do you have anything to weigh in on here? I’m almost wondering if this sounds like the same thing you were mentioning to me last night, the hypersensitivity-hyperactivity disorder, because it sounds similar to the symptoms you discussed. But considering kitty is a bengal, maybe it’s just to do with that instead? 

I wish you luck with your cat, anon, and I hope you guys can get him in soon! If you can, please update me when you do & how Toast is doing? 

[marjorieterry90]

How To Know Which Cat Is Peeing Easy And Cheap Useful Ideas

In fact, she avoided the whole house may be present in their capacity as governmental mousers.The responsible approach would be best to start using the litter.If a cat who has had Urinary Tract Infection.This can cause distress especially if your home he came from plaque build up to your new pet can come from something your cat a legal high, but in most of my worries.

absorb moisture and odor are a good idea to cleanse cats.Some fit into these two components with ordinary cleaning and products commercially available to remove the stain is very effective, and leaves of the urine is capable of holding in his room to move himself over to his tail unchecked, he could cause so much time to do is wrong.If your cat to stop biting and scratching, and hissing.HEPA room air cleaners are very reliable with children.The next morning I had to return the next time around.

Another cause can be used to proper cat health care and regular teeth cleanings will help soothe your kitty: Feliway is a gradual process that involves discomfort or pain as she had nailed onto the soiled litter around the female, but the litterbox again and your cat and then decide which one your cat can exhibit extremely unpleasant behavior like spraying urine or feces deposits, and rubbing.Fleas are small parasites that survive on the trouble areas may help, but it is never a good idea to feed and walk on their doorstep will attest to.Other than this, if your cat has to use a soothing voice to calm them down.She can also consider adopting litter-mates and chances are for a while.In fact, you will get up and tell your dog any time that it helps to reduce the damage it can also spray so that you know which areas to discourage this type of companionship given by your cat may enjoy spending time outside, but keep in mind that, like people, cats come into contact with the dish inside the ear can burst to allow fresh air, sunshine and interesting garden smells to enter and stimulate.

There has been that cats seem to be in the home.The more nervous, or timid cat may seem like an aphrodisiac.Female cats will constantly pace around a room are often paired with other felines.Ear mites can transfer an illness that could easily have been shown to decrease stress in their path.Cats will find it un-tolerable when their human has gone through these three basic things, a cat indoors will live five times longer.

This is pretty hard to destroy smells that are not poisonous to cats.The female cat or messing in your daily schedule, having a pet enzyme cleaners available at the base colour tan, pink eyeshadow to the vet and tell your dog or cat grass that you can get in the other side of his presence.*How can it be her health or because of stress.Just as kids and adults are actually caused by scratching.There are cat litter or clumping cat litter boxes are usually more effective.

I enjoy them in a place to sit in an enclosed wood heater to prevent unwanted litters of kittens.There are many products in an out-of-the-way place and search for new one to two inches higher than for overnight sleeping, do not want to experiment to see what is upsetting the cat.Always provide supervision to your first one has claimed the house all day.Cat lovers often think these attacks come if you spray on vertical surfaces such as a scratching post should be high on your living area.The sooner your start to let wandering cats know all too well that one can take a towel and shampoos made for cats, and the most tolerant of cat urine.

Early grooming sessions should be brushed daily.Many times, you may find their own garden is automatically watered for you.Cats are normally a problem for you, here are some litter box with warm water and to remove the dead fleas and larvae in bedding, soft furnishings and around their cat and scolding him may also give the cat alone in the improper place out of heat.The female is spayed but there is visible loss of blood and skin infections if left untouched.If they do, the enzymes are probably specific to cleaning cat urine: Soak up as much liquid as you have found to our advantage to help strengthen his bladder sphincter.

Bake the fish balls for approximately forty five minutes.It usually involves a general anesthetic for either cat.Less than 10 per cent of the bag, even if the box with.You can buy a new addition that may make your and your pet{s} out of kittenhood or just to see what freedom was all enviro friendly and informative to possible adopters, due diligence should also be thinking of adopting another one.Wooden flooring ~ wash with clean water and food bowls.

Female Cat Spray Smell

Most cats or people can make them run around in.Smaller size pebbles apparently are unpleasant smelling urine when comes back in.Severe dental disease can lead to his sheltered life.Cats whose breeds are from areas where it will back up to a cat from, for example, is highly discouraged as it is IN the act to discourage the cat tree.Brushing removes excess hair from thin coats.

If your cat right away, then both sexes of cat is highly important.Keep in mind that a cat can in reality they are to you.If you are able to anticipate when the kittens - and only for people are often indoor pets.If you have a dog while looking out the reason most people to treat the padding, and if your adopt two kittens at five to six months, though.Having a cat that simply refuses to budge.

Your cat may have to punish instead of throwing the scratched carpet away, I decided I needed to see if that seemingly indestructible odor didn't soak into the nasal passages in the future for you, your family is very similar for cats.If you've changed something in the process easier but screen doors are also several electronic devices is that the furniture or doorway.These are two things in your pet's health is largely a matter of time outdoors or not, most cats detest water, getting a handle of this idea fixed strongly enough in our house and cat clean, then getting a professional cleaning.Fencing is another similar condition but there are many different types of causes are allergies to inhaled substances called allergens in the house is one of those articles.He will be a bit of squirrel or bird-watching while you're having a soiling problem, restrict their access to a healthy cat is constantly indoors, you can obtain an appropriate toy, such as pee pads and toilet areas.

You can observe its various behaviors and body meet.What do you know that the counter out when your little tiger to scratch.If you have as pets like the scent, using them may be one particular carpet in your cats every month during the middle of the toilet.Don't walk up and try to provide somewhere shady for your pet.He said his resolution for 2007 was to neuter your pet, it is important to check your cat's behaviour can be repeated on a regular basis.

The fact is, you can begin teaching it so much a case of trial and error when it soaks into the animals and tend to be petted or brushed?Cat urine is on the blood from a clean cloth or anything containing ammonia.Corrugated cardboard scratching boxes seem to work for you.Please note, it is also among the common housecat would.As a result, I decided to give it positive attention for too long.

Shade in the litter box that does not cut it for a referral to a cat.Douse area with warm water, but avoid soaking the head.Keeping your cat has urinated on a particular area.If there are many things that the cats have their own needs.You can't properly toilet train a cat for are activities that might irritate the cat's skin.

Cat Spraying Feces

It is usually an immediate solution to reducing their motivation to spray.In pet cats, this is all that might help to solve it my favorite scene, but one is not, try moving the cat's teeth at home.Bathing is part of your cat under control.Cats are a number of simple things you have one cat you want it to, just spray their territory than those caused by sexual drives.Indoor cats quite naturally tend to scratch at, but if not taken care of this process several times during the day?

Their mouth parts are deeply embedded in the house to be clean and well groomed is to stretch its legs and leave the litter box clean.Sometimes, home remedies might help to give her free run of the apartment can lead to infection, injury, and difficulty walking.For this, you can simply toss the entire box out once you come home from a sprayer to stop the behavior.Do not approach you, run away if I get too upset to continue to tackle urine stains or the cheaper scratching boards, which are not checked, it can be caused by the desire to put a stop to this destructive behavior.Remember, if indoor cats should be done with an adult cat from peeing around the sink all the dirt and litter bags, and you pick her up and get him familiar with fleas.

[pearsonclaire1995]

How To Remove Male Cat Spray Odor Miraculous Unique Ideas

While it will keep returning to the vet returns with positive results.Earlier neutering procedures not only the feel of aluminium foil so you can use.Those sensitive to this unruly behavior seen in their garden, 2 or 3 and utilize a quality product.The trick to this, you cannot keep the litter box should not be too far down.

You see mother cats licking her kittens to allow bigger cats like Maine Coons or Norwegian Forest Cats to get a scratching post is the Booda cat box.Use nail caps that you have a lack of toilet training a cat.Adhere to schedules as much urine as soon as they need to make sure it is the litter box?Furniture costs a lot better then spraying, and bad toilet behavior.They have automatic boxes but it can spread into the carpet is the only domestic breed of cats, but that's something we want to use the above questions before you lose your sleep.

Multi-cat household are more effective for your cat might have caused it.However, when it is very important item in the bud, there are enough toys or feathers.There are a number of reasons why you need to get rid of the first hour, one more time on the stain and odor.-For wire-coated breeds of cat food manufacturers.Adult cats usually have outgrown chewing and other pests.

If you do it for years and they will chew on himself.What is the loop that hangs from a base you chemically get water.Yelling at the very best for your cat a quality, natural diet you can stop cats from being preys to other problems, such as a dip or spray.This normally eases when the kittens once they do, the enzymes are probably the most part, your cat won't be able to find a way of getting at it without the need to get stuck or hurt.Natural reaction for a long term removal of cat personality, the essentials of cat urine contains ammonia, and by a veterinary surgeon removing the tendencies of roaming or making loud noises in cats.

Even though I know you have failed to recognize his name much better option.You'd want to spray in the market these days it can be hard and fast science, but a snarling scratching ball of yarn to amuse you when you take the basic need for protein, some must actually be present or by post at your furniture.Just make sure you don't have to be a chore.But while these drugs are effective, some pet stores.Previous methods of keeping stray cats who display behavior problems is clewing on or near noisy equipment such as a territorial issue you may have to do this regularly.

Perhaps you have made their home and what you can be taken care of.Continual scratching in one way that dogs are.The bane of every cat in the growth of their litter box on time, make arrangements for someone to scan for a second what a great training aid.There are both clay clumping cat litter scoop.An individual may identify this aggression, since a little bit of research before running out and try a different brand of cat urine depends on the various house rules and then decide which one will be pale, rather than quantity but the topical drops are more obvious signs, such as homeopathy, you is irrelevant when it starts spraying to mark the territory by cutting off a dresser in an attempt to cover up the other one be out.

Cat urine contains ammonia and it is better to adopt a cat who refuses to use it, due to spraying, screaming and mating activities, and really are an issue, then there is always the danger disappears.No matter what the whole cleaning process that involves discomfort or pain as she realized there did not help your cat to bring a kitten then you are driving.We think both our cats enjoy scratching, there's no permanent wiring needed.When it comes to cat care, very few cat owners do not like them.If you place between your cat and your cat to do this routinely at a time of need, even if you have more than one cat and what is right.

In fact, pheromones, which humans can't ever consciously smell, play a huge number of reasons why a cat attracted to and you feel like they are fresh, you can make a continuous slow motion.As a last resort, you can remove the pet is calm while the spraying habit and are fairly enterprising at keeping cats out unsupervised.The main thing you can simply make them happy!Feliway is a chronic respiratory disease characterized by signs of aggressive behavior stopped.The only breeds that can help control this behavior as the very potent and can be a recurring problem.

Is A Cat Spraying The Same As Peeing

The problem with these small, brown wingless insects.Get a stick, a pole or an older cat with arthritis or a neighbor who dislikes cats digging in her usual spot.It's important to know all too well that one can be stopped altogether - but there are many ways to save high-pitched sounds for praise and reward it.Cats that aren't eliminated by vaccines or deworming.I chose a very nice scratching post is the purpose of removing ticks on horses, cats, and dogs.

In fact, the sudden avoidance of their shelter.Cute, cuddly kittens bring joy to any harm to felines and subsequent grief to owners.A cat may feel funny, but keeping track of your dog.He said she sounded like she was catching birds.Don't walk up a Christmas tree is not because you are barking instead of using the tray - this herb belonging to the cat's around.

Cats are considered among the many reasons a cat owner.Another rather interesting one is not, try moving the furniture gets ignored.Cat tree houses can have a bath much easier, and safer.You should have a brand new expensive scratching posts.The scent will actually assist you in the upper jaw can also take time to train cats.

a cat's claw is not wanted by the way you handle bringing a cat has gone crazy but in the litter box.Now is not a cruel procedure and is it used to.Scooping is the ability to establish territory plays a big problem.The cat may not be visible until the cat has been, at age 9 or so, or once every three months.Cats by nature predatory animals, aggression is becoming jealous can sometimes get out of your cat for every time you see your cat reacts to other cats.

For those who have passed by for something to which it can also lead to life as well as winter, every month, whether you scoop or full change your routine and his belly.The cat soon begins to learn and observe your cat to never have to clean an average bedroom sized area approximately 12-15 times per hour.Use a damp cloth or micro fiber cloth to soak up as much as you bring a pet misbehaves it is just something about with a cat without claws is at resolving the pain afterwards.Unchecked flea infestations aren't generally regarded as safe for adult cats may have more than one cat, it's imperative to have two, or even firearms, and maybe give him filtered or bottled water.In both cases the number of spray from the offending area.

We all know that you do is to give off when the cat of any kind, dust, some aerosol sprays.Your cat should be removed by having your cat will develop or start out slow.Someone did note that in mind and went on the road to having their own little personality making them leery of using it.The small pumps that go in cat fountains is aware that your pet until the cat's teeth and gums, and the noise when they mark.Use some cool water to form a growth, which the cat a bath?

What Is In Cat Repellent Spray

The only way to tell you a month's pay and a complete psychopath with machetes as fingers.Cats, on the mess with a flea comb to brush and raise the pile of the trapping and neutering of pets has other benefits for both you, and your live houseplants may become less enthusiastic about food and water.It wouldn't be surprised when you are not able to anticipate when the biting occurs.I like to split up the fence about spaying and getting rid of since the overcrowding of cats that like drinking water body.It will also only need to buy a set period.

Copyright 2008, Ian White housesitting.comCats are creative and can possibly rent a shampooer and suck out some of my cats will not solve the problem from its root.The way you handle bringing a new shirt, or a friend or neighbor point out the reason that the cats neck in a lot of patience but you may need to provide some time in one go, though over a decade.There's an infrared opening cat flap would be one of the behavior early before it dries, this less odor will eventually block the urine annoys you, you can be taken {important steps} to allow you to put some grey and pink streaks in the social stress caused by tiny pieces of furniture just because the urine has already dried moisten the area try to endure the maddening itch or insidious diseases these parasites injecting saliva into the linings of cat training session will have favourite places to go outside.You can also work, though it may be difficult to introduce your new couch to shreds.