#and on that illegal rocket ship too

[goldsainz]

alex a goat for doing all that in a williams (i love him)…

[valyrfia]

Reb Bull, babies, do one good thing this year and take McLaren to court (FIA), pretty please! You can’t have a car that finishes 17th/18th and then, boom, a year later it’s a rocketship!

Unfortunately I do think McLaren engineers cooked anyway and their high downforce model suited the European leg last year too BUT I agree that rocket ship definitely has something illegal about it….has anyone checked any print shops in Woking recently?

[guardian-rocket]

@papetoonfox

Fox’s face lit up at the other’s response. He knew what Rocket meant amongst that sarcastic tone. “I miss you to, Rocket.” His tone sincere as he stared at the raccoon through his display. The mercenary rested his arms on his desk, giving a slight nod at Rocket’s response. “You can bet on it. I’ll keep you posted on our ETA and make sure that our mission schedules align properly.”

Fox was indeed looking forward to another trip to Xandar, even if it was for a few nights. To him, he had something to look forward to after the exhausting trip. He was certain the rest of his team too, was looking forward to seeing Rocket’s once again.

“I would say? I’m glad I was able to help you with the move tho! Did you guys manage to salvage anything from the Eclector ship?” Fox questioned curiously, for he wasn’t technically present when Rocket and his team parted ways entirely from their larger ship. “It’s nothing you can’t fix, Rocket. If anyone can whip it into shape, it’s you.” Fox added.

“We’re planning on doing some major upgrades to the Great Fox at some point. Slippy thinks we need an engine overhaul at some point.” Fox felt the need to throw it out there. Falco and Slippy had mentioned to him about tracking down some valuable tech on Venom, tho it was up in the air at the moment.

“I am glad Quill is doing alright. Sorry about the whole bathroom issues. Perhaps you need a plumber aboard the ship?” Fox chuckled lightly heartedly. “-Things are good, everyone’s a little timid and exhausted, but we’re holding up strong.”

"Huh?" Rocket said immediately following Fox's sly response, he looked a bit bashful which probably said loads more than what he was willing to say over any recording when people around the ship were within earshot. "I mean, sure, yeah you got me, but-- Hey GROOT, get in here, got Fox on the line!" Rocket yelled out, and there was a sudden sound of pitter-pattering little wooden stompers making their way to Rocket's new quarters of the new ship.

As the sound of Groot could be heard faintly, growing louder, Rocket answered Fox's question.

"Oh sure, we're keeping the Eclector in Nova's storage for now... but we hawked off a bunch of them stolen goods I told ya about. Not much good it was gonna do us to keep a bunch of illegally procured goods. It at least made it easy to stock up on rations, fuel and firepower."

Groot entered the room, looking around for Rocket in the background a moment before he realized he was at the desk. He could be seen from the video chat, and used his vines to swing over from Rocket's bed to the desk to see what was going on.

"I am Groot~!" Groot said in a sing-song tone, with a wave at the screen. Fox hadn't yet learned to understand anything Groot was saying but it seemed Rocket wasn't *entirely* lying saying that Groot missed him.

"Engine overhaul huh? Sounds like that'll cost a lot, can't say I envy you," he said, and as he was talking, little Groot pulled out a fairly large sized bright green bug from within the little crown of his head. It looked some sort of weevil, with long antennae and big black eyes.

"I am GrooOOoot!" he said, showing it off at the camera.

He was pointing it right at the screen at Fox, showing him his most recent 'catch' but as soon as Rocket saw him pull out a giant bug Rocket fell right out of his chair.

"GROOT what the flark is THAT?"

"I am groot!"

"Oh the hell it is! Ain't no way I'm lettin' you keep a freakin' bug as a pet! Get rid of it!"

"I am GROOT!" Groot replied, sounding sassier to Rocket, if his twig-like fingers weren't curled around the thorax of the insect they might had been on his hips.

"I said NO." Rocket's voice was stern, but he was keeping his distance from Groot's little friend.

"I am Groot!!"

"What do you mean Quill said you could? Since when is he in charge of anything? Go stick it in the airlock and we can let it go once we land. Get it outta here," Rocket lectured as he crawled back into his chair.

Groot hopped off the desk and left, likely not doing as he was told but instead taking the bug to his own room where he kept a terrarium.

"Disgusting," Rocket muttered under his breath before slumping in his chair.

"Sorry about that, Groot's been on this whole... pet kick lately. Every planet we land on he's trying to bring something new into the ship."

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (28)

*The Capitol Zoo Fiasco* Read [this] & [this] first.

Reaper: *is extremely annoyed* Are we there yet?

Drunk!Sejanus: *starts singing* 🎶We’re going to zoo in our favorite rocket ship🎶

Drunk!Coryo: 🎶Zooming through the sky🎶

Drunk!Lysistrata: 🎶Little Einstein!🎶

Drunk!Festus: 🎶Climb aboard! Get ready to explore!🎶

Drunk!Coryo: 🎶There’s so much to find🎶

Lucy Gray: 🎶Little Einstein!🎶

Jessup: Lucy Gray, what are you doing?! You can’t just join them! They’re Capitol!

Lucy Gray: Oh, Jessup, don’t be shy now.

Reaper: Are we there yet?!

Drunk!Lysistrata: 🎶We’re going on a mission🎶

Drunk!Sejanus: 🎶Start the countdown🎶

Drunk!Festus: 🎶5, 4, 3, 2, 1-

Peacekeeper: *aggressively opens the door* Will you kids f*ckin’ shut up?!

Drunk!Coryo: Never! We haven’t sung the best part-

Peacekeeper: We’re already here! Everyone get out!

Drunk!Coryo: BOO. HOO. You can’t just order us around, officer. We have President Ravinstill on our side!

Drunk!Sejanus: Yeah! What my Snow Angel said!

Peacekeeper: THAT. IS. IT! You’re all going down the chute with the Tributes!

Drunk!Festus: Wait! I’m afraid of falling!😭

The Tributes: Well, sh*t!

Everyone: *slides down the chute*

Drunk!Coryo: My poor gorgeous back!

Marcus: Who kicked me?!😠🔪

Drunk!Sejanus: Someone get their thigh out of my face!

Treech: My beautiful thigh!

Drunk!Lysistrata: My elegant elbows!

Mizzen: Get your stupid hand off my face, Pablo!

Panlo: It’s Panlo!

Drunk!Festus: Someone’s kicking my head!

Teslee: Who is squeezing my foot?!

Reaper: Stop crushing my ribs, Dill!

Tanner: Stop touching my ass, Brandy!

Brandy: I swear that ain’t me!

Coral: Whoops! That was actually me. Sorry!

Jessup: Can you guys just get off already?! There’s a camera crew filming us right now!

Drunk!Coryo: Really?! Hi, Tigris! Hi, Grandma’am! I’m on TV!

Drunk!Sejanus: *follows Coryo* Hi, Ma! I’m alive and well!

Lucy Gray: Jessup, look at me! Is my hair alright? Do I look pretty for the cameras?

Jessup: I’m not qualified enough to make that judgment.

Coral: We all look like sh*t, 12.🙄

Drunk!Coryo: Nope. That’s false information. I always look fabulous~!💅

Drunk!Sejanus: Yup! Those lips are pretty as always, gorgeous!😘

Drunk!Coryo: Oh, thanks, love!

Drunk!Sejanus: No problem, Babe.

Mizzen: Go get a room or kiss already!

Drunk!Lysistrata: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss-

Lepidus: You kids are from The Academy, right?

Drunk!Lysistrata: *tries to cover her face from the camera* Who are you?! Why are you asking?! Are you here for my drugs- I mean, vitamins?!

Lepidus: What?! No! I’m-

Drunk!Festus: We ain’t telling you nothing! I ain’t no snitch nor criminal!

Lepidus: Calm down, kid. I’m Lepidus Malmsey.

Treech: Lepidus who?

Lepidus: A reporter for Capitol News!

Drunk!Coryo: Capitol News?! Are we in jail?

Drunk!Sejanus: Why are those people staring at us?

Drunk!Festus: Am I in trouble?

Drunk!Lysistrata: I never smuggled anything illegal, officer! I swear it on my father’s stethoscopes!

Lepidus: To be fair, you four are not even allowed to be here in the first place.

Drunk!Festus: That’s a lie! Felix Ravinstill never said we can’t!

Drunk!Coryo: So here we are.

Drunk!Lysistrata: Of course, all in the name of research!

Drunk!Festus: Yup! Good ol’ academic research for Dean Casca Highbottom!

Drunk!Sejanus: My good old friend, Marcus from District 2 even invited us here!

Lepidus: So Marcus invited you to fetch him and the other Tributes at the train station for research?

Drunk!Sejanus: That’s right!

Marcus: What?! Why would I- They’re clearly lying to you!

Drunk!Coryo: Nope. Our research is very important!😉

Marcus: They’re all delusional!

Drunk!Sejanus: Marcus, that’s so mean!🥺

Marcus: And they were drunk too!

Coral: Unfortunately, they still are.😒

Drunk!Festus: No, I’m not.

Lepidus: Seems like you are, kid. But Marcus-

Marcus: I swear I never met them in my entire life!

Lepidus: So why does the Plinth boy know your name?

Marcus: Who said I was Marcus?! I’m not Marcus!

Reaper: Whatever you say, Marcus.

Lucy Gray: Oh, don’t be too harsh on our Mentors! They even gave each one of us gift baskets and ham sandwiches!

Mizzen: The cookies were delicious too. 10 out of 10! I’m willing to eat again!

Brandy: Same.

Lepidus: That’s so thoughtful of them-

Peacekeeper: Oi! Oi! Show’s over! We were ordered to bring the four of them back to school.

Drunk!Coryo: No fair! We haven’t even greeted the crowd yet!

Drunk!lysistrata: Hello, kids!

Peacekeeper: Nope. Not today.

Drunk!Festus: But the crowd is waiting for Festus Creed!

Peacekeeper: *turns to his partner* Bring the handcuffs! They’re being ridiculous and rebellious!

Drunk!Festus: I can’t believe you just said that!

Drunk!Lysistrata: The audacity!

Peacekeeper: I’m an officer. Your argument is invalid.

Drunk!Sejanus: Are we still on TV?

Lepidus: Yeah. Unfortunately, the cameras are still rolling.

Drunk!Sejanus: I think I’m gonna be sick.

Drunk!Coryo: I think I’m gonna puke.

Drunk!Festus: Me too.

Drunk!Lysistrata: Does anybody have water?

Peacekeeper: What?! No! Not here! Not in front of Panem!

Lepidus: Think about your school’s reputation!

The Tributes: Oh, it’s happening!😱

Coral: Yup. It’s totally happening.

Jessup: Not in front of my stale bread!

Lucy Gray: Everybody, scatter!

*Meanwhile, at The Academy*

Felix: *sighs and turns off the TV* Well, I think we should just practice singing ✨Gem of Panem✨ before we meet our Tributes.

Iphigenia: Why? What’s the occasion?

Vipsania: Are we gonna attend another funeral?

Arachne: Maybe a wedding?

Felix: Nope. Not even close.

Apollo: So why do we have to sing-

Felix: Our reputation as esteemed Mentors is officially dead.

Androcles: Yup! Dead on arrival.

Pup: I don’t get it.

Felix: We literally saw it dying on live television just now.

Hilarius: So when’s the rehearsal?

Livia: Oh, shut up, Hilari.

[running2reanimation]

AvA/AvM Character Headcanons

Victim - he/she/they - Boss of Rocket Corporation. Manipulative, angry at the world. Possessive. Controlling. Can be kind in the right circumstances. Has a complicated relationship with Striker. Occasionally shipped with King in AUs. Shipped with Striker, kinda.

Chosen One “Cho” “Coco” - he/they - Tired of being angry all the time. Blunt, tries to be polite. Usually doesn’t know how to interact with “normal” sticks. That quiet guy in school who seems cool but once you get to know him is actually an anxious dork who doesn’t know how to talk to be people. Bad with computers and doesn’t get memes. Loves food and is decent cook. Mid 30s. Shipped with Dark and King.

Dark Lord - he/him - Still angry but less. Casual. Charming. Jokester. Buries all regrets in memes and jokes. Genius. Not mentally well. Maybe made a small army of children to conquer the web but actually probably made them to get unconditional love. Very skewed morals. Knows how to build an illegal computer but cannot boil an egg. Horny. Early 30s. Shipped with King and Chosen One.

Second Coming - he/they - Anxious. The Mom friend. The responsible one who is getting tired of being the responsible one. Has no idea they have powers still. Early 20’s. Sometimes shipped with Green and Purple.

Green - he/they - Hates losing. Good listener. Has absolutely composed leitmotifs for all their friends but will never let them hear them. Second-in-command after Second. Early 20’s. Sometimes shipped with Second, usually shipped with Purple, sometimes shipped with both.

Blue - he/she/they - Conflict averse which leads to sneaky behaviour sometimes. Sensitive. Romantic. Easily overwhelmed. Netherwart helps with emotional regulation. Still probably not good for them tho. Early 20’s. Sometimes shipped with Yellow.

Red - he/they - Red charges in! The best fighter in the fighting sticks crew. Passionate. Compassionate. Blunt. Playful. Impatient which can lead to anger and frustration. Gets crushes easily but doesn’t know what to do with deeper romantic feelings. Has definitely crushed on pretty much everyone at some point. Early 20’s. Usually shipped with Aqua (OC).

Yellow - she/they - Very competitive. Intensely curious. Mad scientist vibes sometimes. Very good at aerial combat. Feels lonely sometimes. Early 20’s. Has a crush on King, feels very confused cuz it’s definitely her first crush. Sometimes shipped with Blue, usually shipped with Royal (OC).

Purple - he/they (trans) - Raised as a girl, transitioned after Orchid died. Criminal. Has done a lot of things he’s not proud of. Musically talented but thinks he’s not. A Mess. Full of memes. Had a crush on King briefly, feels weird about it now. Calls King “Baba” because calling him “Dad” felt bad. Early 20s. Usually shipped with Green, sometimes Second, sometimes both.

Cobalt (Purple’s dad)- he/him - Former military. Transphobe. Perfectionist in the worst way. Charming. Has a great smile. Late 30s - early 40s. Usually shipped with Orchid, and I have one verse where he’s shipped with King (it is not good and it doesn’t last).

Orchid (Purple’s mom) - she/they - Kinda weird. Vaguely criminal. Willing to go to extremes. Taught Purple how to sing. Died within the past year or two. Late 30s. Occasionally shipped with Vic.

King - he/him - Former game stick, from an RPG where he was the second-to-final boss (but technically grew up from the child variant of the character). Had Gold with his childhood best friend named Banana. There was no romantic attraction-they both wanted a child and knew they could handle living together to raise one. Banana died in childbirth. Good at cooking and baking. Very analytical. Fooled around a lot as a teen. In and out of foster homes. An accountant. Loves musical theatre but never actually did any of it. Late 30s-early 40s. Usually shipped with Cho and Dark together, but occasionally each individually. And that one verse with Cobalt. Oh, and occasionally Herobrine too. And now we can add victim to the list as well.

Gold - he/they - A good kid! Very popular with his peers! Loved cats but King never let him have one! Loved superhero movies! Not sure what he wanted to pursue out of high school. Aqua has been his best friend since they could crawl. Dead. Mid-late teens. Sometimes shipped with Aqua (OC).

Striker - he/they - Likes a challenge. Leader of the mercenaries. Thinks he’s the coolest one. A bit of a blood knight. Not actually much of an artist. Likes orange pekoe tea with lemon and sugar. Mid-late 20’s. Shipped with Victim, kinda.

Primal - he/she/they/it - Gender is a social construct and she hates socializing. The actual coolest one. Deceptively good with kids. Stubborn, least likely to follow orders. Was leader before Striker. Immortal?

Bit - he/they - Angry smol bean, also a bit of a blood knight. Think’s he’s the coolest one. Showman. The most sociable. Flirt. Playful. Stupid but in a charming way. Mid 20’s.

Logo - They/him - Wishes they could fit in with other sticks more. Knows they’re not the coolest one. Overexplains jokes. Awkward. A follower. Does a lot of reading. Has a temper. Team Parent. Shy, anxious. Late 30s.

[okilokiwithpurpose]

I think it's about time I talk about that Star Wars AU I might write one day if I have time & energy. Yes it involves Lokius.

Loki and Sylvie are (force sensitive) twins that were separated at birth in order to protect them from a powerful force user that turned to the dark side (their father Laufey? Thanos? Kang?).

Sylvie was sent on Tatooine (to be raised by some distant family?) while Loki was left in the care of Senators/Royalties Odin and Frigga of Alderaan (or maybe I should call it Asgard?) who raised him alongside their biologic son Thor.

As they grow older, a rivalry sets up between Thor and Loki, each of them resenting the other's lifechoices.

As the Empire becomes stronger, threatening the Republic, Thor decides to leave his homeworld and officially join the resistance, which Loki think is careless and stupid (as a prince, Thor makes a target of choice, let alone his actions draw too much attention on his family, discrediting their political engagement).

Following his parents' (well mostly Frigga's) steps, Loki enters the political sphere, fighting the Empire using diplomacy... and a good deal of espionnage.

That's how, during a "strictly diplomatic mission", Loki's ship is attacked by the Empire and is taken prisoner - but not before he managed to send a droid away with the plans of the Empire's new superweapon and the instruction to bring those to an ally of the resistance Loki knows lives on a nearby planet (aka Heimdall, ermit, former jedi and friend of Loki's parents).

The droid (part of me wants it to be Miss Minutes but I'm not sure...) lands on Tatooine and meets Sylvie who agrees to help it find Heimdall but insists on leaving the planet with them (she sees it as her chance to let her current life behind and find more about her origins).

To leave a planet, one needs a ship. Sylvie, Heimdall and the droid go looking for someone who accepts to take them to Alderaan (to deliver the weapons' plans to Odin and Frigga). Enters Mobius Mobius Mobius.

Mobius is a pilot/smuggler who used to work for the TVA (Transporters of Valuable Artefacts? lol Idk?? anyway, an organisation that specialises in (illegal) trading (and yes, Ravonna is the boss;)). Only, one day, he realised the TVA was dealing with the Empire (selling weapons maybe?) and he could not stand with that. He left, thus breaking his contract, ending with a lot of debts and a price on his head, which explains why is quite eager to leave Tatooine himself...

Meanwhile, Loki is interrogated on board the Empire's Death Star. He his given a choice: either he talks or his home planet Alderaan is destroyed. So, he does talk, but the Empire destroys Alderaan nonetheless, making him witness it.

When Mobius and his passengers reach Alderaan, the planet is gone...and they finally agree to attempt a rescue mission to deliver prince Loki.

As it happens, Thor just heard about what happened and decided to go free his brother as well (both rescue missions collide of course, and it takes them some misunderstanding to understand they're all on the same side!)

What comes next is (among other things) a lot a Loki angst, Lokius middle-burn and probably rocket & Groot as Forest Moon of Andor's inhabitants.

...and this is it for now, but feel free to add your thoughts and inputs 😊

[killa-trav]

anyways i’m all memed out n too upset to post anything else now goodbye god bless n seb is still the best rb driver YOU CAN SHOVE UR ILLEGAL ROCKET SHIP SO FAR UP UR ARSE

[mareepsbite]

TIMELINE

This is a personal timeline, and includes original, non-canon events. Canon events are also much closer together, since I’d like to catch up with everyone else’s current sooner rather than later! And I’m still on HeartGold, so…

I’ll typically be using the events of the ds & 3ds versions of the games, unless they don’t have one.

————————————————————

The events of Legends occur.

Many, many years pass.

The events of either FireRed or LeafGreen occur. Team Rocket is mostly disbanded in Kanto and most remaining members relocate to Johto to lay low for a bit.

Sting starts slowly developing in Unova, the founder seeing the defeat of Team Rocket as an opportunity. A small amount of scientists from team rocket abandon ship and join Sting.

Less than a year later, the events of AlphaSapphire occur. Disaster is averted and both Team Aqua and Team Magma reform, becoming nonprofit organizations and redirecting their efforts to legal activities.

Sting becomes Sting Corporation due to the founder worrying that, without the corporate label, their more illegal activities will be easier to find out. They offer funding to legitimate charities and organizations to curry public favor.

For around 10 years, more “evil teams” start to develop in the power vacuum left behind by multiple teams being disbanded. Team Rocket’s strength is recovering enough to try something again.

The events of HeartGold start,

↑ The timeline is currently somewhere during the above events.

and around halfway through, the events of Diamond or Pearl start. The events of HeartGold come to a close, and later, so do the events of Diamond or Pearl.

Sting Corp comes under scrutiny for mundane illegal business practices. Nothing “evil team” related, so most people don’t care too much, but the company still loses a good amount of trust from customers and organizations they funded.

The events of Black or White occur, quickly succeeded by the events of Black2 or White2, which also occur at the same time as X and Y.

The events of Moon occur.

Less than a year passes before the events of Sword or Shield occur, again quickly followed by the events of Scarlet or Violet.

Once I get this far, I’ll start updating this with major events! Yay!

————————————————————

SOURCES

[1] [2]

[billconrad]

Confusing Characters with Real Life

   I begin writing by mentally picturing my characters and then imagining how they would accomplish or react to something. The goal is to create a story that the reader finds realistic and exciting.

    How do I get into this character? First, I place my reality aside and determine what this character is like. Then I picture this character reacting to their environment. So, I am pretending to be somebody else and think as they would think. Then I create (outline and write) dialog, scenes, and issues.

    This imagined person is difficult to conceive of for many reasons. The main one is that my boring life is far different from my character, and thus, we do not have much in common. Have I flown on a rocket ship or murdered somebody? Nope. But I have an imagination that allows me to pretend to be anything or anyone. How about a female lumberjack? That’s a giant leap from my present life but achievable. I would begin by using my knowledge of women and cutting wood. The results will never be perfect, but with some effort, readers will believe such a person (character) could exist.

    I like to write close to my reality so that the story and characters are as realistic as possible. So it is challenging to picture a character far outside of my domain. A comic book superhero, a soldier in jungle combat, a child fighting against a drugged-out parent, or a homeless man trying to survive in China? A bridge too far. (But I wrote about aliens. Hmm.)

    Does this mean I genuinely believe I am a female lumberjack during the writing process? I apply maximum effort to get as close as possible to that image. This mindset allows me to craft what a female lumberjack would do and say. (Or at least my baffling mind would find her believable.)

    Is imagining a female lumberjack creepy, immoral, or illegal? Yes, but no. Long before I held a pencil and wrote my first letter, I was an imaginative kid who thought about all kinds of things. Our imagination is both beautiful and a little creepy. Unfortunately, it gets immoral and illegal when we act on these unsavory thoughts.

    Books and movies take our imagination up a notch by providing examples. In 1976, I distinctly recall thinking I was Luke Skywalker after watching Star Wars. I am sure millions of other kids acted the same. Yet, we knew Star Wars was fiction and that we were pretending to be an unreal person.

    Yet, that is not quite the topic at hand. Pretending to be Luke Skywalker is like a costume we can wear and then take off. Creating a character is far more involved, and the characters never entirely switch off.

    For example, I might want to add to the dinner conversation, “Bob did the craziest thing today… Oh, Bob is one of my characters.” It takes a lot of effort not to make such statements. I also get hung up in the real world. Why can’t it work like my fictional world? In my made-up stories, the characters do precisely what I want. The real world had lasting consequences, responsibilities, true evil, laziness, and corruption. All that negativity is still present in my story but is used as a plot device. So, the unpleasant characters are not evil, just misunderstood. Want your broken arm healed? There, all better. Your mother is not really dead…

    I have been fortunate to have never talked/posted about my characters as if they were real. (Well, never been caught.) However, I feel the pull of my imagination, and I know it has led to decisions in the real world. So, an alternative perspective could be that I want the world to work as it does in my imagination.

    Writers often have lofty views on society and people. I suppose this is part of the creative process and what a writer wants to see. Their interviews sometimes show their imaginary world peeking out. They have bizarre quotes like, “(Fictional characters name) would never have voted for Trump!” Such a statement is a testament to a dedicated author who truly believes in their made-up world.

    A fine line exists between being a sane author and one that needs professional help. Perhaps the best authors have honed the ability to jump into a delusional world and return to reality. Maybe some have made one jump too many. On the other hand, history is full of amazing artists and writers who were truly mad.

    I will do my best to keep my characters on paper where they cannot harm anyone. The good news is that I know the difference between my imagination and the real world. Well, at least I think I do. The bad news is that this world has problems that my writing cannot fix.

    You’re the best -Bill

    May 20, 2023

    Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

    Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[cyrah-is-cool101]

The Adventures of Ocean Breeze #4: The Rogues Gallery

Introducing the one shot villains of Ocean Breeze's Rogues Gallery: 

1. Great Jupiter 

Character Inspiration: 

Maxie Zeus (DC/Batman) 

Name: Great Jupiter 

Real Name: Jasper Juniper 

Age: 35 

Personality: Delusional, narcistic 

Relationships: His ‘Subjects’ (Henchmen) (Loyal), Ocean Breeze (Enemy/Rival), Sweet Queen Candy (Love Interest [?]), Sir Narcissus (Business Rival) 

Residence: His Penthouse at Juniper Corp. 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Electricity gadgets, Narcotics, Lightning Knife 

Bio: 

A deranged businessman with a god complex, Japer Juniper came to believe himself an avatar of the Roman god Jupiter. Jasper or Great Jupiter (as he likes to call himself) became a powerful player in both the business world and Dove City's underworld. His criminal activities are perpetrated by his army of followers and, he believes, overseen by the ancient Roma gods themselves. He also thought that Ocean Breeze, being a descendant of Neptune, thought she was an ally but became a threat after she exposed Jupiter’s stocks of illegal drugs which he calls them the ‘Elixir of the Gods, Euphoria.’ 

2. Rocketeer Rosie 

Character Inspiration: 

Roxy Rocket (DC/Batman) 

Name: Rocketeer Rosie 

Real Name: Rosetta Santiago Garcia 

Age: 25 

Personality: Athletic, adventuresome, completely fearless 

Relationships: Lady Red Dragon (Client), Pink Cupid (Ally/Rival), Ocean Breeze (Enemy/Rival) 

Residence: 68 Green St. 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Giant rocket ship, Rocket Launcher 

Bio: 

Rosetta Santiago Garcia was formerly a Mexican stunt double for various female commercial actresses. However, she lost her job after she tried to make her stunts too dangerous that no company would insure her. Out of work but still hungering for thrills, Santiago, now dubbing herself as Rocketeer Rosie, began stealing jewels under Pink Cupid’s, Kaitou Black Ace’s and Kaitou Night’s noses. Unlike other villains in Dove City, Rosie’s crimes were fairly benign, she was always the one being put at risk. Ocean always worry for her safety every time she tries to stop Rosie doing more dangerous risks towards herself and others. 

3. Scream 

Character Inspiration: 

Silver Banshee (DC) and Shriek (Marvel) 

Name: Scream 

Real Name: Samantha Barton

Age: 30 

Relationships: N/A 

Personality: Criminally insane, hostile, quiet 

Residence: Unknown 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Ability to manipulate sound, Telekinesis 

Bio: 

Samantha Barton was abused by her mother for being overweight, that’s when she discover her powers and use them to suffocate her mother until she was presume dead. Few years later, Samantha became a worker at a night club and then started running the joint, using it for a pickpocketing business when Ocean Breeze cut off her resources for the club and then abandoning the whole business, deciding to become a villain taking the name of Scream. As Scream, she is a powerful villainess that can generate sound waves utilizing in the form of blasts and has telekinesis. 

4. Ms. Carpenter 

Character Inspiration: 

Carpenter (DC/Batman) 

Name: Ms. Carpenter 

Real Name: Alys Bryn Gittins 

Age: 27 

Personality: Loyal, cocky, diligent 

Relationships: Lucky March Hare (Boss/Friend), Ocean Breeze (Enemy/’Alice’) 

Residence: Fairytale Land Amusement Park 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Tools 

Bio: 

Alys Bryn Gittins was a Welsh pickpocket and con artist, operating out of New York, who moved to Dove City when she attracted unwanted police attention. Alys was enlisted by Lucky March Hare to serve as Ms. Carpenter for his new Wonderland Crew. In addition to being a member and as Hare’s right hand gal of the crew, Alys used her Carpenter alias/role to start a solo career as a contractor for super criminals/villains for the construction of lairs and death traps. She also knew about Hare’s crush towards Ocean Breeze, the heroine of Dove City, and would often call her ‘Alice’ as well to give her full support towards her boss/friend. 

5. The Night Raider 

Character Inspiration: 

Prowler (Marvel/Spiderman) 

Name: The Night Raider 

Real Name: Vladislav Ivanov 

Age: 31 

Personality: Serious, strict, short-tempered 

Relationships: Scorpio (Ally), Agent Silver X (Hated), Ocean Breeze (Enemy) 

Residence: 34 Wall St. 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Artillery weapons from Sliver Tech

Bio: 

Vladislav Ivanov was a Russian immigrant who began his career as a burglar and a criminal, taking the alias as the Night Raider. He was strong and uses stolen technology from Silver Tech, he became Dove City’s #1 burglar and often belittles other villains (except Scorpio), including Ocean Breeze, who sees her as a ‘child’ which sometimes irritate her but still keeps a calm mind. 

6. Prof. Fear 

Character Inspiration: 

Scarecrow (DC/Batman) 

Name: Prof. Fear

Real Name: Emma Ffion Crane 

Age: 29 

Personality: Cruel, sadistic, deranged, and manipulative 

Relationships: Ocean Breeze (Enemy), Lucky March Hare (Ally), Clue Meister (Ally) 

Residence: Unknown 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Fear toxin, Sickle 

Bio: 

Emma Crane is an obsessive ex professor who uses a variety of drugs and psychological tactics to use the fear and phobias of her adversaries. She does not commit her crimes for wealth but rather, as a form of ‘research’ to further study the effects of fear (hence her alias) on humans, making Dove City residents her unwillingly guinea pigs. Her attire is a pinafore dress similar to Dorothy’s from Wizard of Oz and her name is inspired by Ichabod Crane from the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. She also carries a basket that is similar to the one Dorothy carries with her dog, Toto, inside but instead she has a sickle inside to use it to fight Ocean Breeze. 

7. Vascular 

Character Inspiration: 

Cardiac (Marvel) 

Name: Vascular 

Real Name: Colton Cook 

Age: 34 

Personality: Ill-tempered, PTSD, depressed 

Relationships: Ocean Breeze (Enemy) 

Residence: Unknown 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Various robotic enhancements, gadgets and weapons 

Bio: 

Dr. Colton Cook devoted himself to medicine, intending to save lives, however, he failed to save a little boy’s life, which resulted him in the brink of depression and now suffer from PTSD. He then built himself a robotic suit and use it for crime, taking the name of Vascular. Using his knowledge of science, he often upgrades his suit to stop Ocean Breeze from commiting his crimes like a giant laser gun, various blades and even a jet pack for getaway escapes from authorities. 

8. Mistress Monarch Mask 

Character Inspiration: 

Madame Masque (Marvel/Iron Man) 

Name: Mistress Monarch Mask 

Real Name: Agatha Beatrice Augustus 

Age: 28 

Personality: Stern, emotionless, tempered 

Relationships: Ocean Breeze (Enemy), Great Jupiter (Ally) 

Residence: Aveda Group HQ in an unknown location

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Gymnastics, martial arts, hand-to-hand combat, handles various firearms 

Bio: 

Agatha’s mother died in childbirth, her father Marquis Florence J. Augustus had her sent to an orphanage in order to protect her from future assassinations. After revealing her true parentage, Agatha took in her father’s legacy and become the leader of the Aveda Group, an organization her father founded, becoming Mistress Monarch Mask. She had countless encounter with Ocean Breeze, including trying to steal pearls from a local sea ferry company but Ocean intervened and stopped her afterwards. Mistress Mask is both skilled in gymnastics, martial arts and handles various firearms, she’s also knows the arts of disguises. 

9. Minuet 

Character Inspiration: 

Ballora (FNAF: Sister Location) 

Name: Minuet 

Real Name: Mimi Chen 

Age: 26 

Personality: Flashy, bewitching, manipulative, intelligent

Relationships: Ocean Breeze (Enemy), All men (Hated)

Residence: 50 Duncan St. 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Superhuman strength and durability, Dark energy blast, flight power 

Bio: 

Mimi Chen dreams to become a ballerina but she drop out of dance school because of her desire for female domination of the dance world, planning to eliminate/enslave all male dancers. Her outfit is based on the black swan Odile from Swan Lake, has superhuman strength, durability, can shoot dark energy blasts and has the power of flight, she takes the alias of Minuet. As Minuet, she often targets male dances who were self-centered, snobbish and sometimes belittle other dancers. Ocean Doesn’t blame Minuet’s point of view towards criticism but she does not like her ‘dark sense’ of femininity, especially female domination towards the opposite sex and is worried about this kind of logic towards gender, thus why Ocean tries to emphasis Minuet. 

10. King Tic Toc 

Character Inspiration: 

Clock King (DC/Batman) 

Name: King Tic Toc 

Real Name: Siegfried Von Meyer 

Age: 29 

Personality: Very smart, sees things differently than others, oblivious 

Relationships: Ocean Breeze (Enemy/Love Interest) 

Residence: Unknown 

Powers/Abilities/Weapon/s of Choice: Various clockwork gadgets, time manipulation

Bio: 

Siegfried was a simple clock repair man in an ordinary clock repair shop, but then he was cornered by a group of thugs, who beat him up in his own shop and destroyed his clocks. Then one of the thugs try to burn the shop with a blow torch, however, Siegfried stop the thug but end up getting half of his face burned, causing him to scream in pain until a nearby police officer hear his pleas of cries and shot the 3 thugs in self defense, they gang was later arrested. Siegfried, on the other hand, was sent to the hospital and was discharged afterwards swore revenge on the thugs who burned his face and destroyed his shop, everything. He then dawns a clock themed costume and takes the name King Tic Toc. King Tic Toc can predict with some accuracy in how many seconds imminent events should happen and has different clockwork gadgetry which he use to stop Ocean Breeze from his crime schemes but later on, he seem to be infatuated of her beauty and sometimes, call her ‘his little die blume (flower in German)’. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Contraband

https://www.patreon.com/empyreaniris?fan_landing=true

https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing.\

The station had grown a lot in the past few years. It had what amounted to thirty two docking ports each designated with a letter/numeral combination. The entire hub colony was built around the universe’s second largest warp ring, though shipping manifests and revenue flow indicated that it was still the highest monetary grossing port in the universe, if not the warp ring with the highest traffic. 

Thousands of ships passed through here every cycle, and the residents of the hub had grown used to the intermittent flashes of blue that send ships rocketing out across space, between stars and galaxies. Each warp began with a prechage sequence that sent a line of blue energy down and around the ring, as soon as the ship passed through, the ring would discharge that energy, and the waiting ship would be fired through a warp like a cannonball being shot from a cannon.

Were it nt for the warp stabilizers on the ring itself, the rest of the hub would have been rocked as if shaken by a 7.3 earthquake. However, good engineering and planned maintenance made that only a theoretical reality, and Donovan Red found the intermittent pulse of blue light to be rather soothing.

His operation had grown over the past two years as the hub had grown around him, and more people had brought with it more opportunity both licit and illicit. The hub was so large and experienced so much revenue flow that it was pretty easy to make a shiny credit here and there if you played your cards right.

The hub itself was large, and a few well placed bribes had given him prime real estate on what he considered the, Down, side of the space port. Technically, in space there is no such thing as down, but the average planet dweller isn’t a fan of that fact, so artificial gravity, and the way that people build things usually shows a preferred preference for a certain direction.

He was on, what one might have considered, the underside of the station have been allotted hanger F6, which was, on the small side as far as hangers go and was never intended to take large amounts of cargo. On the original hub plans, Hanger F-6 had been designed as a VIP docking bay for high rollers and rich celebrities, but the pretty little bribe from Red  had changed that reality. Now, Deck E5 was the VIP hanger, and this was his own little slice of heaven.

All around him his crew worked tirelessly caring shipment of contraband in and out, loading them up on shuttles and getting ready to send them off, and slip them on ships past the eyes of inspectors.

Smuggling was Red’s favorite activity, and he knew how to di it well.

The first rule of smuggling was knowing what you couldn’t smuggle.

Organic material was an impossibility, that was just a fact of life. The bioscanners at each port were simply to advanced to allow for the movement of plants/animals or unregistered people.

No matter how much money he could have made through the smuggling of the common housecat, it was never going to happen. However, non organic material was much harder for any type of scanner to pick up, and it was more up his alley anyway, not to mention that there were ways of shipping organic material extralegally that wasn’t technically illegal.

When Adam Vir had gone straight after his stint as a smuggler, he had given Red his access to the contacts he used to ship human organic tissue, including vat grown human skin, which Adam had neither mentioned, and Red hadn’t asked what it was used for. He was sure that if he had a conscious, he would have felt weird about it, but if the universe’s biggest school boy was okay with it than, it couldn’t have been too bad.

But out of all of the things Red liked to ship, it was chemical contraband, usually the kind of thing you saw used to make explosives in illegal mining operations where explosives technically weren’t sancitoned but still happened anyway. He liked this particular industry because it usually meant working with Tesraki mining contractors , who were usually greedy bastards with more money than sense.

He watched as a group of his men walked into the hanger, carrying with them a rather cumbersome looking crate on a hover trolley. lThe crate was big, big enough to to fit four grown men in, if you shoved them into boxes in the fetal position and adequately drugged them.

Of course he was sure that was unlikely to be the case.

Still he was curious, sidling over to see what was going on.

Baby K sat with a clipboard, a frown on her half shaved head as she stared down at the clipboard.

She pouted, full lips puckering in mild annoyance.

She had really come into her own over the past few years, and he wasn’t just saying that because of their on again off again relationship thing, which was currently on. Red slipped a hand around her waist, brushing the back of his hand over the back of her tight leather pants as he did.

She slapped his hand away, “not while I’m workin’ Red.”

He grinned and retrieved his hand. He mostly liked it when she got all bossy.

The pout on her face deepened.

He frowned, “Something wrong?’

She shook her head, “This box isn’t on our manifest.” She turned to look at him, the station commander let it past the contraband office and sent it down here, as per our agreement, but he usually doesn’t let go of stuff this big.

Red held out his hand and she handed over the clipboard.

That much was true.

The station commander and himself had a tenuous friendship that amounted to playing rocket ball every other tuesday, and a tentative agreement that he might let a few boxes of contraband slip past as long as red was willing to keep the lower elements of the station under control.

So far their agreement had worked out for the better, but the station commander still had to save face with his people, so that meant, he didn’t usually get to send red anything big, at least not this big.

“Odd.” he leaned forward to examine the box, “no labels?” 

One of his other flunkies shook his head, “No, Boss. It Doesn’t even have a shipping tag.’

That was even more strange.

In order to ship cargo to a location, it had to have the proper shipping tag. It was like tagging your luggage at a spaceport. How were they supposed to know where you wanted your stuff to go if it wasn’t properly labeled, and even if it wasn’t labeled normally, smugglers had their own signs and identifications that would let you know where something was going.

This had nothing.

Red crossed his arms over his chest, “Open it.”

His men scurried to do as told, and it took them a few minutes, but finally, they were rewarded with the pop of a containment lid.

Red slid over with the others, stepping up onto the edge of the hover trolley to peer inside.

When he looked inside, Red was immediately filled with an odd sensation of cold.

He couldn’t have described why, but, the contents of that crate did nothing but to turn his blood cold.

Little vils of glowing orange liquid neatly packed into containers.

“Red.”

There was a pause before Red looked up to see baby Kay holding something out to him.

A holopad.

He took it in one hand, and as soon as he did, the screen burst to life with a static crackle. The screen lit up, though when it did it showed nothing but a black void, and a pair of burning yellow eyes.

“For the acolytes, you know what to do.”

And then the image shut off.

Red pulled back in surprise and stared at the holopad, which he turned over slowly in his hands. On the back it said, K to N. 

It wasn’t for him, that was sure enough, and he had no idea who N was, but he was certain he knew who K was.

“Baby, get me a line to Admiral Vir.”

Baby K bared an order at one of the younger women, who hurried over after no less than a few moments with Red’s personal holopad. He took it in one hand, scrolling through his list of contacts before finding the one he was looking or.

There was only a few second delay before the screen lit up.

For a moment Red was left confused, thinking he had called the wrong number, but that thought was soon dissipated when the man spoke, “Red, hell its been a while”

His voice belied his age, and Red had to blink a few times before the face solidified in his vision.

“Admiral, is that you…. Holy fuck you look terrible.”

Admiral Vir frowned, “You’re looking good too red, thanks, never felt better.’

“Sorry but….. Weren’t you blonde the last time I saw you.”

The man huffed, and ran a hand through his now white hair, “Premature graying runs in my family.” He supposed that was believable enough. He still had a youthful enough face. What was he, early thirties now, but still he looked like shit. His human eyes was bloodshot, and dark circles dominated his face below his eyes. From what little of him Red could see, he looked to be laid up in bed part of his upper torso bandaged, though, most of it was off screen.

“Well,  I’m sorry if this is a bad time, but I don’t think this can wait.”

Adam frowned, “I…. well I’m not really in the condition to go anywhere right now, Red. is there any way you can come to me/”

Red glanced over at the large crate and nodded. It didn’t mater what he thought was important. Baby K could take care of the operation while he was gone, but whatever this was it took precedent.

“I think I can do that.” he glanced back at Adam with a raised eyebrow.

“Seriously, what happened to you.”

Adam gave a tight lipped smile.

“What happens to all of us red. Life.”

Red shook his head in mild disbelief, “nah, what happens to you doesn’t happen to the average person and you know that. The rest of us have all our limbs.”

Adam gave a wry smile, “Just get your ass down here, and we can count all my robotic parts together.”

“Say any more and a man might think you’re filtering with him.”

“With you red, not on your life.”

Red grinded shortly before cutting off the call, his face becoming serious again as he handed the holopad back to baby K. 

He had a feeling there weren’t going to be many reasons to smile on this trip. 

[martynsimp69]

helloooo, the spopera has me in a choke hold, so would you mind sharing your favourite detail of the story or world or overall *waves hand vaguely* AU thingamybob :D

(fully take this as an invitation to go nuts, i love rants)

HELLO TUMBLR USER VICTORIANTREECAT i am so sorry it took me over a month to reply to this it is because i am forgetful </3 pls know that we love and cherish your asks every time they come in 

i’ve had doc on the brain recently so!! Doc Thoughts 4 You. these are a bit rough and all over the place forgive me ashdkfhdjdhs

if you ask the folks at a certain lonely, backwater interplanetary hub, they’ll say the fellow who docks his solo ship and buys out the spare parts shop roughly once a year must be a recluse; some kooky old bastard who lives alone in the voids of deep space. probably has a self-sustaining mothership anchored to some asteroid out there, with how little he visits — it’s not like there’s any habitable planets nearby. only the real regulars can claim to have seen him, and the stories vary wildly: 8ft tall, no, 13ft! face and teeth made of metal, and a prosthetic eye that he can pop out and set off like a drone to fly around the hub, observing passerby with a piercing red glow. horns that can ram through the reinforced walls of a ship. a voice like the distant rumble of a burning star. massive, deadly claws and the stench of dirt and explosives, rocket fuel and redstone.

if you somehow ask the people he used to know before, they’d tell you he was insane. crazy ideas about hyperloop drives and shadow teleportation tech and mind control. a mad doctor, eventually run off into a self-imposed exile with a modified freighter ship. the last time anyone saw him, he was setting off to ransack a former human mining colony — deeply illegal, mind you. the species humans bring with them into their colonies are almost always highly invasive, and the mining site was set to be eradicated for having too many foreign livestock remaining on the hollowed-out planet. most assume that was the end for him: wiped out with the rest of the life on the old colony, in some mad, ill-fated quest to grab some illegal flora or fauna for whatever esoteric purposes. 

if you ask doc himself, sitting on the porch of a scrap-metal shack on the purportedly-uninhabitable dwarf planet Hr-MT-77, he will tell you quite proudly that he is a goat farmer.

you politely don’t mention the modified pitchfork that can channel lightning from stormy skies, or the massive, towering array of antennas and satellite dishes that scramble all navigational signals that come anywhere near this sector of space. you don’t mention the acres of lush green farmland on a dwarf planet that’s never managed to sustain life on its own. there’s a baby goat chewing on your pant leg, wearing a little goat-shirt clumsily sewn together out of what seems to be the singed remains of a lab coat. later, doc quite casually tells the story of how he challenged a living planet and won and lost his arm for it afterwards, and you find that you wholeheartedly believe him.  

———

now it’s time for the fun fact round:

doc’s prosthetic eye is VERY high tech. it allows him to see in more colors than the average knallan, who see mostly in varying shades of green. it also functions, as mentioned above, as a drone (basically like his freecam in minecraft), where he can detach it and send it buzzing around and take in a live video feed from it, audio included! while it’s out and about doc is unable to hear or see anything going on around his body, unaware of much other than physical touch.

doc's current situation is that he lives alone on a fuck-off mudball of a dwarf planet that barely exists on any official documentation. he's the only person there, as of now, and only a few people know about it. he can send and receive normal signals through his scrambling array, so he can pick up on interplanetary radio/tv broadcasts if he feels like it.

i don’t remember how much of general knallan (doc’s species) physiology we’ve shared with the public already but i’ll go over it again just in case. knallans are Big, furry dudes with six limbs — two powerful rear legs, two upper arms, and then a set of limbs in the middle that can function as arms or legs depending on need/mood/etc. when quad, doc is about ~8ft tall, and when standing up on his hind legs he’s roughly ~10ft tall. 

knallans, as a very last-resort defense mechanism, have natural pockets of explosive glands that can be activated at will to create concentrated explosions in specific parts of their bodies. it’s rough, but survivable. altho given that they live in a setting with sci-fi tech and FTL travel, the need to employ this has gone down drastically so most modern knallans never have to. 

knallan fur is oddly plant-like and very suited to camouflage in their environments, which they can adapt to slowly over time. during the rainy season on Hr-MT-77, doc’s coat gets dark and lush, while during the dry season it pales and grows coarser. sick knallans even look a bit like they’re “wilting.”

still doc-themed but to the left i just think it’s SO important for u to know that baby knallans move kinda like this. just imagine a fluffy, three-foot long, six-limbed green weasel with nubby little horns and a stumpy little puff of tail and big clumsy paws and oversized, floppy goat ears that they haven’t quite grown into yet. that’s a baby knallan. (also according to @echotunes the word for a baby knallan would be “knällchen” which is just DELIGHTFUL to me)

anyways yes thank u so much I Care Him he loves being big and scary and intimidating and then throwing people off by playing silly about it like what?? me? the guy who did crimes against the laws of physics and basic engineering concepts?? whaaat no i’m just a simple goat farmer lol (he is clearly not a simple goat farmer you are not fooled and he knows you are not fooled and he’s grinning ear to ear about it)

[guardian-rocket]

“Didn’t exactly need these, so I thought you could find some good use for them. -Bruce”

Inside a rather sizable box are various clean, relatively-new spare parts and decorations from a ship. They’re from a Sakaaran courier craft, one of the Grandmaster’s prized ships.

@doctor-brucebanner

"Oh what? Where the hell did you get this stuff?" Rocket asked as he immediately started digging through the box of assorted parts like a child going through a toy box. The parts weren't his typical scraps that he got out of scrap yards or wreckages, they looked like they were in good shape.

"Is that...? Holy scut, it's a Warp Core Transducer, do you have any idea how much these go for on the shadow network?"

Rocket pulled out something that had a ton of little disconnected wires coming out of it, looking like he just pulled out the most expensive part of the bunch. "These things are illegal to own, you know," he said, his eyes lighting up with a glint of joy. He usually kept his illegal tech on the downlow but it was no big secret he had a bit of a collection.

"You really want me to have all this?" he said, still hanging on to the transducer. He had noted a few other parts that caught his eye on things that he knew he had a use for too. That box was full of 'fun' stuff.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Conner Kent Week 2021, Day One: No Capes, Still Alien

“It’s a UFO.”

“It’s not a UFO.”

“It definitely is,” Bart said in a matter-of-fact tone, talking over Tim. “My brother said he once modified a radio transmitter into picking up alien transmissions and convinced an alien ship to come to Earth. And he said the landing looked just like this.”

“Your brother is insane,” Cassie, who’d previously been quiet throughout this mock-argument, spoke up. “Didn’t he blow up the cafeteria when he was in high school as revenge for budget cuts leading to smaller lunch servings?”

Bart stopped his tromping through the wilderness abruptly, and peered at Cassie with a suspicious eye. “How did you know about that?”

“You told us that story on the first week of camp,” Tim said dryly. “And anyway, this wreckage is way too small for it to be a UFO.”

“But it’s too big for it to be a person,” Bart immediately countered. “Or a person-sized being. So maybe these aliens are tiny, so they have tiny little spaceships, too.”

“Why are you two so convinced it’s aliens in the first place?” Cassie lifted a hefty tree branch, bracing it on her shoulder as the two boys scrambled underneath quickly. Then, after ducking under it herself, she let it fall to the ground gently. “I mean for all we know, it could be a drone test or rocket launch or something.”

“Hey, Cassie. Cass. Cassandra.”

“Yeah, Tim?”

“Have you seen any sci-fi movie at all?”

“I don’t like where this is going, but yes.”

Bart interrupted Tim, “It’s never a drone, or a test flight, or whatever the government or business says. That’s always a coverup. It’s usually something much more interesting, and in this case, it’s likely to be an alien.”

“Exactly,” Tim said. 

Hefting the sizeable backpack higher onto her shoulders, Cassie sighed. “I feel like I should have stayed with the rest of the camp.”

“No you don’t,” Tim dismissed. 

“We’re much more interesting,” Bart said, hopping in front of Tim. “You wouldn’t want to go on this adventure with anyone but us.”

“I’ve known you two for like a week,” Cassie pointed out. “We met at the beginning of this summer camp. Which you two immediately convinced me to ditch.”

“Me and Bart were planning to ditch the camp for weeks,” Tim said as Bart ran ahead. “Ever since we figured out we were going. Besides,” he shot her a cheeky grin, “Is there anyone else you’d rather go off into the woods with?”

Cassie pouted, but there was a mischievous glint in her eye that betrayed just how much fun she was having. She was reasonably certain that this borderline-illegal outcome of a summer camp she didn’t even want to attend in the first place was going to end with her being unquestionably attached to these two insane boys that had dragged her halfway through the forest on a whim. Tim’s train of thought was stopping at the same station Cassie’s was, but Bart’s had long since barged forward and accepted Cassie into his and Tim’s longstanding friendship.

“I think we’re coming up on something!” Bart called from up ahead, then doubled back to meet up with Tim and Cassie. He tugged the strap of Cassie’s backpack in a gesture to stop, the grabbed the water bottle from the side pocket and took a long sip. Wiping his mouth, he said, “There’s a clearing. But not an actual clearing. More like when water falls on a bath bomb and everything fizzles inward and out and disintegrates.”

Cassie squinted at him. “What?”

“He means the clearing didn’t used to be there,” Tim supplied helpfully. “The thing that crashed through the trees and made this wreckage stopped up ahead, and it’s, I don’t know, presence or whatever made all the trees crumble and created a clearing.”

“Like a bath bomb!”

Tim nodded at Bart. “Exactly like a bath bomb.”

Cassie stared at the two of them, then shrugged, taking it in stride. “Alright. Like a bath bomb. How far up ahead?” 

“We’ve got four more giant fallen logs to climb over,” Bart informed her. “So come on, we’re almost there.”

“My entire system of speech and thought is going to be messed up beyond recognition by the time this trip is over,” Cassie sighed.

Tim shot her another one of his smirks. “That’s the plan.”

The three of them did, in fact, climb over four logs. Well, Tim and Bart climbed over the logs, while Cassie used her height to jump smoothly over them. Regardless, the they arrived at the edge of the clearing soon enough, halting their steady march for a second to take in the amount of destruction scattered about.

They could see the splintered remains of forest giants that had probably swooped towards the sky for decades, dirt and mud shoveled up and thrown around everything. And there, at the center of it all, was a boy. At least, he looked like a boy. Clad in a bodysuit of some strange, silvery material, he was sprawled out on the ground, seemingly unconscious.

“I told you it wasn’t a UFO!” Tim exclaimed, elbowing Bart. The other boy grumbled and let his hands droop down in acquiescence. 

After a solid minute of staring, Bart pushed Cassie forward. “Go poke him or something to make sure he’s still alive.”

“Me?” Cassie hissed. “Why do I have to do it?”

“Because you’re the biggest, so you can protect us if he turns out to be an evil alien who wants to invade the planet.”

“Tim took jujutsu lessons!” Cassie countered.

“Technically they weren’t lessons,” Tim said. “They were more random things my older brother decided to teach me whenever he visited home every other weekend.”

Right when Cassie opened her mouth to argue, the boy on the ground groaned, stirring. The three of them froze, staring at him as he slowly sat up, a hand on his head like he was in pain. He looked around dazedly, as if trying to get his bearings, but let out a little shriek when he noticed Bart, Tim, and Cassie watching him.

For a couple solid moments, nobody dared to move, a deer-in-headlights on all four of their faces. Just when Tim was about to step forward and brave a question, the boy opened his mouth and beat him to it.

“Does my translator chip work?”

More staring, until the question filtered into Bart’s brain first and he responded, “What’s a translator chip?”

The boy’s expression brightened. “So it does work! Awesome! Uh...” Suddenly, his expression turned fearful. “Don’t hurt me! Please! I don’t want to hurt anyone either, and I really don’t want to fight.”

A moment of silence, then Cassie leaned towards Bart and said, “Is he speaking Spanish?”

“Yeah,” Bart said back. 

“You know Spanish?”

“One of my friends taught me a little bit when I was a kid, and I kept learning.”

“The alien speaks Spanish,” Cassie laughed a little hysterically. “Reality just doesn’t work right around you two, does it?”

“What’s Spanish?” the boy said. 

Both Tim and Cassie turned to Bart, so as designated translator, Bart stepped forward and said in a terribly American accent, “It’s, yknow, the language you’re speaking right now.”

The boy, apparently in Spanish, frowned. “The translator chip’s supposed to turn whatever I say into Earthish.”

Feeling a little like an idiot, Bart said, “We don’t...speak Earthish?”

The boy looked suitably concerned, then suddenly regretful. “Oh no. Am I not on Earth?”

“No no,” Bart said quickly. “You’re on Earth.”

Now the boy just looked confused. “Wait. What’s your planet’s official language?”

“Official language?” Bart asked. “We’re supposed to have one of those?”

At the expression that clearly conveyed the boy was out of his depth, Cassie nudged Bart and whispered, “Ask him something in English.”

“What?”

“Can you understand me?” Tim stepped forward and asked, in English.

“Whoa. Yes,” the boy said, and Cassie breathed a sigh of relief at being able to understand the boy. 

However, now that the four of them were successfully able to communicate, neither of them knew exactly what to say. Eventually, Cassie broke the tension with an incredulous, “So you’re really from another planet?”

“Yes,” the boy sighed. “Hopefully you can take me to your embassy? Wait actually,” his eyes widened and he shook his head. “Don’t do that.”

“Are you on the run or something?” Tim asked.

“I...not exactly,” the boy sighed. Shuffling his feet on the ground, he asked quietly, “Do you guys have clones?”

“You’re a clone?” Bart gasped. The boy nodded miserably, but just as he began to respond, Bart steamrolled over him. “That’s so cool!”

“It’s...cool?”

Displaying a bit of tact, Tim asked, “Is it...not supposed to be cool?”

The boy shook his head. “I was supposed to be an experiment,” he said shyly. “Experiments aren’t supposed to think for themselves, but I could. So I ran away. I didn’t mean to crash land on your planet.”

“You were experimented on?” Cassie said, shocked, though Bart and Tim could hear the protectiveness in her tone. Her voice then turned steely. “You’re not planning on attacking us or killing the human race, right?”

“What? No!” 

“Good. You’re coming with us.” Cassie turned to look at the two boys. “He’s coming with us, right?”

“Definitely,” Tim said, and Bart shook his head. “We could cross the forest and make it towards the gas station that’s a couple miles away. I’ve got Bruce’s credit card, so we can probably bribe someone into helping us get to an airport or something. From there, he can hide out at one of our places.”

“You’re okay with me coming with you?” the boy asked.

“Well, we already made one new friend on this trip,” Bart shrugged. “What’s one more, even if he’s an alien who crash landed from space and speaks Spanish.”

“I’m speaking Northern Kryptonian,” the boy informed them helpfully. 

“Cool!” Bart said, without even hesitating. “By the way, I’m Bart. That’s Tim, and that’s Cassie. What’s your name?”

“Do you even have a name?” Tim asked. “Or identification, or something?”

“My serial number was-” the boy started making a series of clips and chirps. Apparently, alien serial numbers didn’t translate into English well.

“Yeah, we didn’t catch any of that,” Bart said. 

The boy seemed to think for a second, then straightened, with a resolved smirk on his face, self-deprecating yet fierce. “Call me Kon.”

“Kon?”

Kon smiled. “Alien inside joke. It’s nice to meet you.”

----------

can you tell i had no idea how to end this? bc i had no idea how to end this. anyway, i am not going to miss a single day on kon week, i’m not. special thanks to jpeg for providing his very loving support and encouragement.

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @screennamealreadyused @subtleappreciation @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @bikoncon @bonkybearjpeg @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump

[dragon-snoots-a-boopin]

So I’ve finally completed my play through of Resident Evil: Revelations and now I am going to give a little what I did like and what I didn’t like. Please remember that I am going to spoil some aspects of the game so, you have been warned.

What I Liked:

It has a more horror atmosphere than certain RE games (RE5 and RE6 can suck it)

I absolutely loved the majority of the game taking place on a ship because it kind of harkens back RE1.

Yes, Jill Valentine does look pretty fine in that tight scuba outfit or whatever kind of outfit it is

Most of the puzzles were not too hard to figure out and thank goodness because some RE puzzles can go suck it.

I think the idea of finding customization parts and illegal customization parts within the game itself.

The weapon selection isn’t half bad but it is pretty limited because, well, this is an upscaled port of a Nintendo 3DS game.

I really did like the chapter layout of the game and that the chapters would have two-three sections to them. I understand this is something they probably had to do for the original Nintendo 3DS version of the game but, I think it works in general. No chapter ever felt too long or too short which is just great.

What I Didn’t Like:

The graphics are not the the greatest and definitely are telling that this game is an upscaled port of a Nintendo 3DS game.

They overuse a lot of the same basic creatures over and over. Even when they introduce a new creature they pretty much do that because it’s going to be in the rest of the game.

Some of the creatures of the typical RE creature problem of being bullet sponges, especially the hunters. Those things can go suck it.

I was not very fond of the scanning mechanic. It seemed okay at the beginning when you’d scan like four creatures to get a health item reward. However, as the game progresses, it takes more and more scans of creatures to where one creatures nets you like +1 to the scan total and it takes forever to get a health item reward. The good thing is that since I was on the easiest difficulty, I was not relying on those scan rewards.

The weapon sounds sound like they were ported from a Nintendo 3DS game so, like someone playing one drum for handguns and machine guns. Even the shotgun didn’t sound very punchy like a shotgun should.

There were some sections of the game I found to be very much like what you’d see in RE5 or RE6 which are the sections where you’re manning a minigun on a helicopter or on a boat putting a billion rounds into a giant mutant worm thing that just didn’t want to seem to die.

I absolutely hated both of the timed sections of the game. Look, game developers, I know you think you’re being smart by using countdown sections in a game because you think it makes the player think. Well, as a player, I can tell you that adding a time limit or countdown to a section just add stress and then you go and throw two mini bosses at me and I have to ignore them until I grab a rocket launcher to kill them.

I was not a fan of the final boss fight. Yeah, I died once but that’s not my issue. My issues is that the weak spot isn’t very obvious, which it typically is in the other RE games I’ve played (barring RE6 because that game can’t still suck it). That’s why I died once, because I didn’t really know how to hurt it. However, once I did figure it out, it take WAY TOO MANY shots. Like there was an ammo thing that would refill my machine gun ammo from zero to 300 and I did that like four times before the cutscenes happens where the final boss actually dies and the game is over. It was such a stupid fight.

Resident Evil: Revelations is the game that I needed to play after coming off of giving up on the total not fun game of RE6. Revelations has more horror atmosphere but, like most RE games, isn’t really scary with a bit of the action stuff that RE5 and RE6 are known for. Resident Evil: Revelations is a pretty good game that I’d recommend playing. 

[entos-dojo]

Ok, so random post vent post, but I just fucking love it when games just let you subvert mechanics if you learn mechanics, and don't explicitly teach you or aknowlede you broke the system, letting the fact you did it without spending resources on the tools the game expected you to use to be reward enough.

Like, perfect example, in Metal Gear Solid V, you get this thing called a Fulton extraction device. Basically, you attach it to something, it creates a little balloon, lifting whatever it's attached to off the ground, then after a few seconds, it ROCKETS to like 1000 ft (~300 meters I think) in the air, a JET comes by and snags the tether between the balloon and the thing, and it's brought to your paramilitary oil rig in international waters. (This shit fucked me up for so long after playing, I *still* can't look at shipping containers IRL and not think "I could Fulton that".)

Like, perfect example, in Metal Gear Solid V, you get this thing called a Fulton extraction device. Basically, you attach it to something, it creates a little balloon, lifting whatever it's attached to off the ground, then after a few seconds, it ROCKETS to like 1000 ft (~300 meters I think) in the air, a JET comes by and snags the tether between the balloon and the thing, and it's brought to your paramilitary oil rig in international waters.his shit fucked me up for so long after playing, I *still* can't look at shipping containers IRL and not think "I could Fulton that".)

The Fulton was pretty universal, you could use it on Practically anything; Shipping containers, turrets, cars, crates, soldiers (Who you then recruited because that's how you hire people in metal gear), mini metal gears, wildlife, guns, Tanks, Tanks would soldiers inside them, anything really, as long as the balloon wasn't shot.

But there was one key exception to the Fulton; ya couldn't Fulton children, at least with a regular one. Shock would be too much and they'd die. You can unlock a Fulton that lets you rescue children, but it was decently expensive, and, more importantly, only became available *after* the second mission you encounter the child soldiers, and the first where they're enemies. Obviously, this was meant as your introduction to the mechanic of unkillable guards, and to encourage a more stealthy playstyle then normal, at least for a time, Right?

However, after clearing out the first introduction camp of child soldiers by knocking them all out (They were fine, it was video game knock outs, those never do brain damage), I was frustrated I couldn't Fulton the children and add them to my collection at the illegal paramilitary base I operated, when I noticed that there was a car I could Fulton. An idea struck my head, and I decided to try strapping three of the kids into the jeep and Fultoning the jeep.

This works with regular soldiers, so I figured trying it with children was a logical next step. I placed the three closes kids in, buckled then up, added a Fulton, and... Rescued the kids. Hours before I was meant to. A whole ass mission before I was meant to.

Naturally, I started piling children into every available car, abd when those ran dry, I started calling in air drops of the cars I'd fultoned out before, filling them with children, and Fultoning them out again, basically creating a revolving door of child rescue for a fraction of the amount of Fultons it would take to do so normally.

This experience culminated in me, a couple missions later, still without the child-safe Fulton unlocked, fighting the child soldier boss fight, and managing to extract him with a tactical airdrop car extraction, and I can't even begin to describe how satasfying that was.

The game never hints at this. It never pushes you towards this solution. It's all on you to figure out how the Fultons work, and you're rewarded for it. You're not just welcome to experiment in the game, you're actively rewarded for it.

MGSV is full of moments like that, but that will Always stand out to be as the moment I fell well and truely head over heels for that game.