#and now here i am trying to find a post about a butt plug

[sendpseuds]

someday I'll find the original butt plug post

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 38/41

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, talk about masturbation, separation angst,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

8.25.2020

Hey babe! 

So, yay email! Hopefully this will work for us. :) But the internet is SO SLOW. Even with barely anyone here it took 10 min for my email to load. I am told by the winterers that trying to upload a video is all but impossible. But a picture *can* go through. Thank the local deity that we don’t have to super old school it and use carrier penguins! Yay! Well we finally made it to McMurdo. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, well except for the phone calls in Christchurch. It feels like the band aid is really ripped off now. I’m just trying to breathe through it. I hope you are staying busy or at least distracted. I am excited to finally be here after 5 days of delayed flights as is the rest of my group. We’ve taken to calling ourselves a flock. I have no idea why. So I’ve got a room all to myself right now, but we’ll see how many people show up for the mainbody season in October, I may or may not have a roommate. So, there I was trying to get settled and I opened my big suitcase and found the books and the dark chocolate and the candles and the little bottle of essential oil blend. Fuck it smells like you. It made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you baby. This is a classic pic me in front of the station sign. It looks darker than it was, but we only had 4 hours of sunlight and there was a storm coming. Wow, I thought I'd been through blizzards at home. This was nothing compared to what they got here! I’d send you a photo. But it’s literally just white.

I do have a confession to make. You remember that freakin’ hot phone sex we had during my quarantine? Yeah… um.. I recorded the audio, yup, every time. I’m gonna listen to your amazing voice telling me to touch myself. I think I’ll lube up my butt plug you gave me and push it into my ass imagining it’s you. Fuck I miss you. I miss your body next to mine at night and your cock in me in the morning. I love you Aus, I miss you. All the kisses for you. ~Your Kitten

8/26/20

Kitten!!!  I’m so stoked that we still get to keep in touch. Even if only over email. That pic of you in front of the sign feels surreal. I can't even tell it's you with all the layers! The landscape looks so desolate. I’m so glad you found my gifts, that’s just stuff I don’t like to live without, kinda like you. I’m not liking living without you. Although I’m STILL finding post-it notes. You little fiend, putting them in all my clothes. Makes me smile and cry too. I did get some exciting news though. Baz, as you know, has been checking up on me since you left. I really love him, he is such a marvelous soul. Anyway he told me yesterday that we will start rehearsals next week and filming is slated to start up again in mid to late September. Thank God, I gotta have something to focus on other than this empty apartment. I’m just waiting for the rest of the crew to get back in country, then I’ll be too busy to think. Also, I’m gonna talk to your Uncle Roy this week and make sure I can still stay here. Baz says the studio will give me a stipend for the apartment and I’ll just pass that along to him. That reminds me, Kate said she had not seen anything related to us from Marissa’s channel and that she would be willing to have a meeting with her, but she won’t make any guarantees. I have a confession too, I went and developed those couple rolls of film we'd taken. It was so fucking sad that you weren’t there to play with while I waited for them to dry. Anyway, You know how I wasn’t sleeping in our bedroom yet? Well, I put the photos I took of you up all over our bedroom and it finally let me sleep in there alone, although I might’ve cried myself to sleep just a little. When I woke up hard I had those gorgeous pictures of you in that black dress to jerk off to. Fuck you are hot and fuck I miss you so much. Oh my god, just reading that you are fucking your ass with my butt plug has me hard, you are such a naughty Kitten. I might have to keep track of how naughty you are and punish you accordingly when I see you next. I wish you were here to suck this hard cock right now. I think when I finish I’ll stroke myself while looking at those closeups of you and imagine your luscious lips wrapped around me. I’d send you a pic of it, but I’m terrified it could get out somehow. I love you more, I miss you terribly, only 187 more days to go.. Roughly. ~Your Aus

9.20.20

Hello my love,  So how’s things? Are you ready? I’m so excited for you to start filming again. You got this babe! I believe in you! (forehead kisses) There were satellite issues again when I tried to call you last night. I’m so sad we keep getting hosed on our phone calls. Soon you’ll be too busy to take a call from me! We are pretty solidly in the groove of our workday, that’s 6 days a week. I’m on the day shift right now and it’s been a bunch of maintenance checks and rebuilds on buildings and answering calls for service. There is a big build that got delayed due to covid, but we will be starting on that pretty soon. The food is surprisingly good. The galley really loves their themes. Taco Tuesday, Asian Nights, Sunday Brunch. The pizza is pretty good too! It’s not a woodfired oven made by the hands of angels good, but when you want pizza, it’ll do. Made a good group of friends, though we are all weird misfits here it seems. Do you remember when people had to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones? It’s like that here, since there isn’t wifi, not that it would work right. It’s amazing how old school it feels, it’s kind of wonderful. Probably sounds like torture to you my shy, introverted darling.

Most of the people here are guys. It’s like 70/30. I’m the only woman in my department, not like that’s new to me. The first day I showed up for work the foreman asked if I was in the wrong place. They tried to give me shit at first until I out-hammered them all in a nailing race. Just a dumb little competition thing. But it stopped them from fucking with me. Yeah, I know my stuff assholes! Lol! Now we are all good. Except for Joe, I do not like Joe. He just rubs me wrong and won’t let the girl thing go. We may have to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting during which I emasculate him with the claw on my purple hammer! The other women I’ve met have also been surprised by the overall disappointing behavior from some of these guys. There is a saying on the ice- “Antarctica: Full of badass women and mediocre men.” This is true. Not all the guys are that way though, some of them are nice and those are the ones that get laid. Yeah, there are a lot of hookups happening and there are free condoms, like, everywhere. No one here is as interesting or as sexy as my man though. Plus, you spoiled me with not having to use condoms. I miss your skin on mine, I miss your lips on mine, I miss your cock in my mouth. Since I don’t have a roommate yet, I think I’ll light your candle, put on the sexy music playlist we used to fuck to and add some of that EO to my wrists. I’m going to suck on my dildo. I’ll start slow just licking the tip, I’ll imagine your hand in my hair and your sky blue eyes watching every flick of my tongue. I’ll make sure my lips are good and wet before I slide it down my throat. And I’ll be fucking myself with my vibrator, the one that's curved. The only thoughts I'll have in my mind are ‘it’s your cock in my mouth, it’s your hand on my pussy, it’s you, it’s you, it’s you’. I’m gonna cum so hard, moaning around your imagined cock in my mouth, I may have to do it twice. God I miss you. Tell me more about how you jerk off to pictures of me, that is so damn hot. I’m just imagining you stroking yourself, playing with the tip a little. Damn. ~Your Slutty Kitty

 9/22/20

My bad, bad Kitty, I do not know how you do it, but are you aware of how fucking sexy you are? Even just via email you get me so riled up. How do you take the mere 26 letters of the alphabet and make them into these sexy fucking pictures in my head?! I miss my cock in your mouth too, I miss you laying out on the bed with your legs wide and my head buried between them. I don’t have anything to lick and pretend is your pussy, but I promise I will make up for it when I see you next. Oh lord I gotta go take care of this massively hard co

9/22/20

Hey love,  Sorry, I hit send without meaning to! You got me so hot I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t take me long baby, I used that coconut oil from just before you left. The scent totally put me right back there with you on your knees devouring my cock. That reminds me, I need to get that dress dry-cleaned… It’s stopped smelling like you now so… I suppose it’s time. I’m ready- ish, the last 6 months made me feel like all the Elvis sunk into my bones. I’ve been working like a fiend with Baz and Polly and Irene and Erik. They have all commented on how it’s different now, more natural. My day is so full of Elvis again it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m so nervous all over again. I’m waking up at 3 again. I miss you. Not just for the sex baby, but you. You make me better. Please keep trying to call, my PA on set will have my phone when I don’t. I put one of your pics up in my trailer, btw, one of the clothed ones. I kiss my fingers and touch it every time I leave and say hello to it when I come in. People that see me do it still don't know who you are, (Baz and Tom are good secret keepers). That last article with the pics of you and I at the airport really threw them all off. I think Kate told me that the paps were searching the passenger lists for all outgoing planes to Europe that day to see if they could figure out who you were. It's fun to keep them guessing. I totally get the hooking up, happens on set too. People are people. I’m not worried about you Kitten. How’s your demon though… she doin’ ok? Getting out of hand at all… pun intended! Ok, early call in the morning. I love you so much. 160 days +/- ~ton Roi

10.11.20

My darling man,  FUCK I am still riding the high from talking to you last week! I can’t believe I caught you in your trailer too! I’m sorry I couldn’t play sexy games back with you because the phone was too public on my end. I loved you telling me how you were stroking yourself though and how you came on your stomach. I went right back to my room, to rub one out. Damn. Luckily my new roommate was at work. She asked me when she moved in why I had a pic of you and me on the wall by my desk. I told her I was in love with you. It was so funny, she sat down on the couch and started talking about you like we were in middle school. ‘ He’s so dreamy and I hear he broke up with his girlfriend and is dating a French woman!’ “was that the only time you met him?” Oh my god, it was all I could do to not laugh in her face. I’m sorry baby, I had to tell her. I hope you aren’t mad! I still don’t think she believes me, even after I showed her pictures of us (appropriately clothed of course). I appreciate you asking after that sexy bitch in my head. She is doing fine, staying on her lead. None of these people would satisfy her anyway. She’s too far gone for you. :) My daily horniness level has chilled out since I’ve not been getting fucked by you on the regular, though there are times! Oh and fun news! I’m going to be setting up a few field camps in a couple weeks, so I won’t be in touch much after halloween -ish. But I WILL be out on the literal ice. Think warm thoughts for me! At least I will get away from Joe! He is still a dick.

~your naughty Kitten (for different reasons)

10/12/20

Kitten,  Of course I’m not mad! Once you are back I want the whole world to know that you are mine and I am yours. Also, Kate set up a meeting with your cousin Marissa. I talked to her and got her info when I talked to Uncle Roy. (He still refuses to let me pay him.) Kate was impressed by her and is planning on offering her a paid internship. Love you baby, go conquer that ice! ~Aus

(Please read the following letter with a deep southern accent of yore) Twenty fifth day of October in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty My darling Austin, I pray that this electronic mail finds you healthy and hale. I have been feeling dashed about by the trials and travails of my good work here on the deep continent. We no longer are a sleepy little hamlet of a mere 200 people. Oh no! A veritable influx of learned people hath arrived, swelling our little cold town to over 800! The light has arisen indeed as we currently receive a joyful 15 hours of sunlight each blessed day. My dear roommate Tabitha seems to have accepted the love that exists between us, my dear Austin, since she overheard our delightful conversation on the telephone a scant few days ago. Indeed it seems she has spread our information to the other members of the kitchen staff as one of the good ladies asked me about it the other day as I procured my nourishment. The person in question didn’t know you, but was happy to know I was dating someone, since apparently the rumor had been circulating that I was a person uninterested, sexually that is. The very idea! My darling Austin, I shall be leaving in two days time for my quest on the ice. It will be my pleasure to erect structures providing temporary shelter from which the good men and women of science may illicit new and exciting information about this oft times perplexing world that humanity calls home. And before you query, yes, I must confess my dear Mr. Butler, I have been imbibing in the devil's drink and yes my loins still burn for you. Pray for me, dear man, that I may endure such hardships that may come and be delivered forthwith into your awaiting arms. With all my love and tenderness. Miss Kitten P.S. Sorry about drunk-as-fuck girl up there, she is just being silly. Can’t wait to fuck your brains out again! Love you -She Demon

10/26/20

Kitten,  You are so weird. I fucking love it and you. I’m so glad you are mine. Filming is so far so good. I barely have time to think, which is perfect. Also, I was eating a mango in the kitchen last night. You know how you cut the side off and score it then turn it inside out? Well, I decided just to eat it off the rind like that, instead of cut the chunks out. And all of a sudden it was like eating your dripping pussy. I am slightly ashamed to say that I dropped my pants right there and jerked off with the coconut oil. The juice was dripping down my chin and chest and onto my cock. Oh, My. God. It was the best one yet. I’ll have to do it for you (to you?) when you get back. Needless to say, a whole new world has opened up to me. I WILL be buying more mangoes. I may not be able to see one without getting aroused from here on out. I think I’ll go have the other half now…

Good luck doing bang! bang! construction things on the ice! Stay safe and warm. I’ll talk to you when you get back. Forever yours- Austin

10.27.20

Aus-  Oh, Mangoes… Damn. Now I fucking want mangoes. Freshies are like currency down here, I haven’t seen a mango though. Just so you know, that last letter was a bet between me and Tabs. We did karaoke that night and I got a little sloshed and started talking in accents. She didn’t think I would do it. Lol! I tried calling you a few min ago, but no answer. I’m leaving in an hour. I’ll email and try to call when I’m back! Oh and come to find out that Joe thought he was flirting with me the whole time, he likes me. Was about to pull my pigtails, I suspect. Boys are so weird. I confronted him and he confessed he was crushing on me pretty hard. I told him about you ( not by name) and that I wasn’t available (plus I would fucking break him). He seems to have backed off and will hopefully treat me like a person. So yay! Growth! Love you tons, Tally ho! Kitten

10/28/20

Darling,  It breaks my heart that I missed hearing your voice. I really needed it too. We filmed some gut wrenching stuff this week and I just needed you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Austin 124 +/-

 11.22.20

Sweet, sweet man, I love you too! I’m sorry you had a tough week and I wasn’t there for you. I promise after this, I will never be more than a text away from you again. I hope it’s gotten better! I’m going to try calling tonight when I get off work. Thank god I’m back though! We had a crazy, crazy time. We got caught in a freak storm at Amundsen-Scott. We were supposed to be there for like a day to get supplies and such. We ended up there for 5 days! But after that things cleared up, it was amazing. We set up 5 different camps. Everything from simple temporary polar escapes on wooden platforms to actual shelters that will have to stand up for the rest of the season if not longer. One was at a penguin rookery! They were adorable and came right up to us! Miss you love, hopefully we will talk soon! ~Kitten

11/23/20

Babe,  Those pictures with you and the penguins are unreal! I can't believe they just walked up to you. It blows my mind that anything can live down there. How are things with Joe? Did he actually change his behavior? I would say ‘do you need me to come down there?’ but I know you got this, my amazing, strong sexy beast of a woman. I hope I can pick up when you call next. Missing hearing your voice broke my heart. ~Aus 98+/- (Why is this taking so damn long! You should be in my arms.)

 12.14.20

Dear darling Austin, Thank god we got to talk last week, I was really worried about you. Digging into the pain about your mom… I just wish I was there to hold you tight, like she would’ve been. I know I didn’t know her, but from everything you’ve said, I know I would have adored her. (hugs, hugs and more hugs) I got your package yesterday! I opened it without thinking, thank god all the things in it were wrapped! Except for the mangoes… fuck baby. They are perfectly ripe right now, if a little frozen. I’m gonna go eat some mango pussy. Would you like that? watching me eat pussy….

Did you get my package yet? It might be a bit silly. But you can open it when you get it. :) We have been digging into this new building since I got back. The guys worked on all the steel pieces and I’m lead on the framing team. It’s definitely different from what I’ve been used to doing. But I’m finding that all my skills are actually helpful because I know the pieces that come next, so I don’t let the crew fuck things up for the electricians and plumbers and drywallers that will be coming behind us in the future. I miss you baby, I know we keep saying that to each other, so much that it’s like saying something over and over again and the shape of it feels odd in your mouth all of a sudden. But even though I have made great friends here and am in a routine that pulls me from day to day, it would be perfect if you were here with me. With you on my arm, no one would try to pull my pigtails! Love you with all my heart ~Kitten

12/25/20

Baby Doll,  Merry Christmas!! Babe, I did get your package, and I didn’t open in until this morning. Why would you say it’s silly? It’s amazing. You painted this? I am going to take it in and have it framed so I can hang it up. Wow. If you ever wanted to stop doing construction, you could be a professional artist. Tom and Rita have invited a bunch of us up to their place for dinner. I’m about to go get ready but just wanted to tell you that yes, I get it. Saying it gets old, but it doesn't mean we don’t feel it still. Yeah, mom would’ve adored you right back. I fucking miss you. I fucking love you. And holy fuck yes on watching you eat pussy, mango or otherwise.

66 days +/- (can we make time move faster?) ~Your own personal elf- Austin

12.25.20

Dear Austin,  Merry Christmas!! I loved your gifts, they are perfect for here! Lip balm and sunscreen and the warmest, silliest socks. That mini humidifier is sitting on my bedside table as we speak! The running gloves for under my big ones are going to be a game changer! Now I can do fiddly bits without my fingers getting cold! Although it’s a ridiculously balmy 25 degrees Celsius out there right now. I don’t even bring my red parka out right now! Today I joined the Antarctic Polar bear club. Yup I plunged into barely above freezing water in my underwear, no not the unicorn ones, I actually had some polar bear ones I brought just for this! I was nothing if not on theme! It was fucking cold. And exhilarating! But I’m not sure I want to do it again. Luckily we went right into the sauna to warm up! Love you ever so much, give Tom and Rita my love! ~Your Xmas Kitten

1/1/21

My sweet Kitten, Thank you for the phone call, oh my god I needed it. I’m feeling so worn out, even though we kinda had this week off and I’ve been just sleeping as much as I can and going to the beach with other cast members, it’s just not the same without my best girl next to me. (that’s you, btw) I wish I had you with me last night to kiss. I did end up kissing Olivia, but it was just a new years eve peck thing, plus it’s not like we’ve not kissed on set. Is that weird for you? I’ve never asked you about it. Love you so much, it hurts. I def need a kiss on my heart. 59 days +/- ~Yours, Austin

1.3.21

Austin, When I see you, you are gonna get all the kisses on every part of you. Real talk babe: where I’d like to be there to remind you what my kisses are like and reap the benefits if you get turned on, kissing on set doesn't bug me, that’s just part of acting. Didn’t Elvis kiss like all the girls in the audience? Super-spreader much? Ha! TBH, I pecked a few people too when we counted down to midnight. How do you feel about that? Wow, that looks super passive aggressive. I’m def not meaning it that way. Just wondering cuz we’ve never talked about it and I don’t think our games with Loki or ‘the guy from Brisbane’ count as talking about it! Now actually making out with someone like not for work (that’s a crazy sentence right there!)… that we’d def have to talk about. I mean… mostly because I would want to be a part of something hot like that. FOMO!!! On a different note, I sang in Icestock last night. It’s the annual McMurdo music festival. There were comedians and skits and mini plays and bands and a chili cook off! I sang a bunch of stuff with some guys, we had to rehearse on our off time but it was super fun! I had my buddy video it. I’m gonna put it on a USB stick and send it to you, just for fun! There is some other stuff on there too, just for you, including my polar plunge! God we needed a party too. The grind was getting to us all. Yeah we have 24 hours of daylight, but I never knew I’d miss the stars so much! We are about to head into Vessel Season, that means extra people in town, mostly Kiwi and US military, to help unload the massive supply ships. From what I understand we will be pulled to help. I love you baby, soon hunny, soon I miss YOUR kisses ~Kitten

 1/8/21

My darling love, Happy Elvis’ birthday! He would've been 86. We had a huge birthday cake on set today. I don’t really care about pecks like that, plus you are too French for me to get up in arms about that. I do feel the same way you do about making out. If you are gonna make out with someone, I want to be there too. If it’s a girl, I def want to be there. That would be hot. We filmed a kissing scene today between young Elvis and younger Priscilla. It really made me miss you so much. I definitely channeled our first kiss into the work. Remember, on the couch? This might be weird to say, but no one kisses me like you do. Love and miss you, 52 days +/- ~Aus

1/25/21

Kitten,  Honey, I have a confession. We were rehearsing one of the big shows where Elvis goes into the audience and kisses all the girls. I had to talk my own demon out of taking home an extra and fucking her silly. She looked just enough like you and she was staring at me all dreamy eyed when I was on stage. Then I had to kiss all these women in the audience and I was all worked up. I’m sorry babe, know that I didn’t do anything or even talk to her. But we talked about being honest with one another and I feel better with you knowing. No I’m not asking if I can do anything with her, it was just like a perfect storm to turn me on. Honestly I’ve been too exhausted and terrified to really feel horny lately, so it kinda took me by surprise. I’m so sorry if this makes you mad. Know I love you and I’m not gonna do anything to screw up what we have. ~Austin 35 days +/- (I can wait, I swear)

1.26.21

Babe,  Love you, not mad. Will respond more when I have time! ~Your best girl

1.31.21

Ok my love,  First of all, I’m sorry this took so long to reply to. It’s been so busy here I’ve not had time. Secondly, I’m not mad. You are human, despite your intrusive thoughts to the contrary. Being attracted to people is just a part of being human. It actually feels really good that you were comfy enough to tell me how you are feeling. Thank you for trusting me. I have this ideal thought in my head that I’d want to be cool with a sorta semi-permeable relationship. Like yeah, making out with a women with you would be hot… fuck I think making out with a man with you would blow my fucking mind. (would you be down for that? Kissing a guy?) But I know I’m not cool with either of us just fucking others at will, at least not when we are this far away. How could you reclaim me, or I you, when these miles exist between us? Share someone with you? Sure, but we need to actually sit down and talk about it face to face. When I'm back and we’ve talked and you and I have had our fill of one another, if that girl is game and we get along… I’m down to try it out, baby. If you are even interested in that. There are a few cute Airmen here, but my demon seems to be slumbering. Remember, the less I get the less I want it. It could also be the fucking 10-12 hour days we’ve been putting in! Which is VERY different from fucking 10-12 hours a day.  Remember our first 72 hours? Damn that was amazing. I love you baby, now and forever, Your lover- Kitten

2/4/21

Amazing woman of my dreams,  How are you so fucking cool, do you know how hard I had to work to get my other gf’s to be cool about kissing on set, let alone talk about sharing a person. This whole thing makes me love you even more. How do I feel about kissing a guy? I think it depends on the guy. But it doesn’t squick me out or anything. Honestly right now, if it meant getting to hold you in my arms, I’d do it and more in a heartbeat. And for the record, I don’t think I could ever ‘get my fill’ of you babe. I love you so much, 25 days +/- (is that fucking real, only 25 days???) Devoted to you- Austin

2.25.21

Babe,  Oh my god! I am so done helping unload and reload ships! Give me my fucking hammer and let me pound something! So I have some shitty news. Y’know how, on the phone we were talking about my departure date being end of February and being back with you by March 1st. Well, I got my departure date, it’s not until March 10th, and I can’t move it up. They even offered me a bonus to stay overwinter, but I declined. As cool as it’s been I need to get off the ice and into your arms. So I won't be back on the Gold Coast until March 12th at the earliest. I don’t know if I have to quarantine. I have to arrange for my stuff to be shipped to Greece in that time as well. You say you have to leave for London mid March. I’m freaking out that I might miss you. I’m gonna try to call tomorrow so we can talk about it. Fuck this sucks, Love you so much ~Kitten

[ppangjae]

close to you | jaehyun (teaser)

[RELEASE DATE]: Mid-May 2021

SUMMARY. You and Jaehyun have been dancing around each other for years, never finding the courage to speak up on your feelings. But here’s the problem: you and Jaehyun aren’t friends nor acquaintances, you’re two complete strangers who share nothing but several undergraduate classes and a strong, drawn connection. 

— you’re both strangers until you’re not. 

GENRE. fluff | angst | orange!au | strangers to lovers!au | college!au | lots of… pining 

WORD COUNT. roughly 15k

warnings. mentions of death, blood, and lots of swearing

“Thanks for the coffee.”

You and Jaehyun have been productive all afternoon, creating a plan along with its respective deadlines to follow. Never would you have imagined closing the distance between you and Jaehyun. Whenever you would try to reach out to him, he would be twenty steps away. But standing next to each other like this, arms gently brushing against each other, unspoken thoughts, you’ll be more than satisfied. You just hope that your unspoken thoughts are somehow heard by him. 

“Do you always take this bus route home?” He questions out of nowhere.

You slowly nod your head in reply. “Always. Do you?”

He tilts his head in confusion. “That’s quite odd.”

“What’s odd?”

“I always take this bus route home too.” He begins to explain. “It’s odd that we’ve become friends now rather than years ago. It seems that there were many chances for our paths to cross.”

Jaehyun had a point. You always knew Jaehyun took this bus route going home. You would always sit in the back of the bus on days where afternoons weren’t busy and he would always stand near the front, helping the elderly get to their seat. As a spectator and observer, those were one of the many things you admired about Jaehyun. You and Jaehyun have shared many classes throughout your undergrad years, but you would always sit far from him, sitting behind him was ideal, because it gave you the chance to admire him from afar. There were many chances for your paths to cross, and you fear that you would let it drag on until you’re too late. 

The bus arrives and surprisingly, it’s not full. There are many empty seats available. Tapping your card against the card reader, you head straight to the back of the bus, plopping your butt down on one of the empty seats. Jaehyun follows suit, taking the empty seat right next to yours. Your breath hitches in your throat and you distract yourself by looking outside the window. The bus begins to move on its route.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asks out of nowhere.

You raise an eyebrow. “Blue.”

Suddenly, he pulls out a set of earphones and plugs it into his phone, handing you one of them. You look at him, doe-eyed and hesitant. He senses your hesitancy and places the earphone into your ear himself, flashing you a warm smile. “It’s a long ride.”

And indeed, it is a long ride. Fourteen stops in, Jaehyun finally hits the stop request button. He’s slinging his bag over his shoulder, slowly getting up from his seat and waving goodbye. “This is me.”

You nod. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

Just as he’s about to get off, he gives you one last glance and calls out your name. You tear your gaze away from the window to look at him. “Text me when you get home safely.”

You chuckle. “Yes, sir.”

“I’ll be waiting for your text,” he says. “See you, Y/N.”

Jaehyun hops off of the bus and stands in the waiting shed, watching the bus drive away. As the bus gets smaller and smaller, he blows a raspberry, crossing the road. When he’s finally on the opposite side of the road, he heads to the waiting shed for a bus that’ll take him back to where he came from.

No matter what, always take the bus home with Y/N.

No matter what.

You let out a tiring sigh, yawning right after. Stretching out your arms, you get up from your seat to get off at the next stop. Out the window, apartments and buildings slowly transform into parking lots and a hospital. 

“Next stop, Seoul National Health Network.”

You request the bus to stop.

On the bus ride back to where he came from, Jaehyun takes the seat at the back of the bus. The bus is quite empty this afternoon, with a couple of elderly people sitting near the front and a couple of high school students occupying the seats in the middle. Jaehyun zips one of his backpack pockets open, pulling out an envelope. Written on the envelope is his name with the handwriting itself identical to his own. Opening the envelope, he pulls out a letter. It’s a tear-stained letter, with some of the ink smudging because of it. But it’s a letter written from him, his future self. 

Dear Jaehyun,

Since this is the first time you’ll be taking the bus home with Y/N, I figured I would give you the reasons why in advance. You’re probably curious as to why you need to fulfill such an odd request. But it’s more than just a simple, odd request. I want you to remember a date.

May 26th, 2022. 

On this day, no matter what, I want you to take the bus home with Y/N. Even better, I want you to get off at the same stop as her. On May 26th, 2022, Y/N got into a car accident. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to make it and passed away because her body succumbed to her fatal injuries. It might be difficult to even imagine a world without Y/N, but it happened. 

As I write you this letter, I’ll be paying her a visit at the cemetery with Jungwoo. As I write you this letter, I’m doing this as a means to cope with it, where I would imagine a parallel world where we both exist and no one leaves the other behind. I imagine a parallel world where Y/N doesn’t pass away, where I am able to save her, where I am able to tell her how I feel.

As you can tell, I have many regrets. But I’ll get into those regrets later, not today.

No matter what, always take the bus home with Y/N.

No matter what.

author’s note. you’ve reached the end of the teaser! this is what i’ve been working on in between exams and so this is definitely going to be posted (i’m already at 8k words so it’s almost reaching its end. 

if you want to be a part of the taglist for this monster fic, reply to THIS post! thank u uwu

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi lovely 💖 I have a request for some reca for the community. I have no idea how to search for it but I have a burning need for fics involving John being a confident flirt or coming on to Sherlock and S being a blushing disaster. I know I’ve read some before (like the one where John is a wereslut lmao) but I can’t think of anymore. Anyone in the remaining hive mind got ideas? 💖💖💖 thank you for doing god’s work in these trying times and always being wonderful.

Hey Lovely!!

Ahhh I think the fics on my John Centric Fics / Sex God John masterpost might be good! 

Here’s some flirting fics, so thank you for the excuse to start a new list!! <3 Of course, if anyone has any suggestions, please add your own! <3

FLIRTING

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

The Effect of Memory by testosterone_tea (E, 6,430 w., 1 Ch. || Praise Kink, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Confused Sherlock) – John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

To Quote Malcolm Tucker; or, Get The Fuck In or Fuck The Fuck Off by kim47 (T, 8,484 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Flirting, Cockblocking) – Sherlock is cockblocker and a prick tease and John is not amused.

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, POV John, Phone Sex, Texting, Masturbation, Long Distance, Drunk Texting) – What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Post-TRF, Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasm Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay, Anal Beads, Tickling, Dancing, Dry Coming, Romance) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

[heyheshi]

Mirror Selfies, Fake Hickeys, and Cheetos... And Lots of Make Out Sheesh

3.3k words

written and uploaded: August 27, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...? Idek now honestly lmao

💎 - smut, well just lots of make out sheesh

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!

Have y'all heard "Half The World Away"? This piece could have been a song fic since it's about being best friends but I've already wrote like half of this when I got the idea and this is in your POV so I'll be doing a song fic soon! And it's about HTWA! in Harry's POV on my 2nd month!

Masterlist

_________

You checked out your outfit one last time in front of your full body mirror - smoothing out those little wrinkles and making sure that your chosen clothes emphasizes your body in the most flattering way. My butt's poppin!, you thought to yourself.

The attire of your choice wasn't entirely revealing, wearing a white sailor pants with eight gold buttons in front - four on each sides, a sheer laced white sleeveless bodysuit that plunges just enough to show a bit of your cleavage, and white pumps. You look elegant in your opinion but not elegant enough to not get hit on in a club.

You're not trying to empress anyone but you also don't wanna look like you just got out of bed on your cousin's party. You decided not to wear any makeup - just some eyeliner and lip gloss, your hair parted in the middle in a low tight ponytail. You added a few gold accessories to accent everything.

You're sure that the club's packed and you're gonna get sweaty, you don't want any makeup to ruin your white clothes. Keeping your fingers crossed that you can keep everything clean and intact throughout the night.

Natural and elegant. Keep it natural and elegant, your mums words keeps replaying in your head.

You took your phone out from your purse that's laying on the dresser - opening the camera app and posing for a couple of mirror shots but only having three of your favorite - one doing a very cheeky pose by smiling big at the mirror while winking, your other hand doing the 'gun'; one looking sweet and shy, looking at the mirror with your eyes wide while holding a strand of your hair as if you're a child being handed your favorite sweet treat; and one looking sexy and seductive, putting your pointer finger on your lip as if biting on it as you look straight into the camera through your mirror.

Giggling to yourself after checking out the photos, you opened the messages app next and clicked on your conversation with your best friend Harry.

"Think it passed the "okay" looking?", you typed...

And sent!

You found him attractive but vowed to not cross any lines but you're feeling extra brave tonight so you also sent him the one where you looked really really hot - in your opinion.

Honestly, you'd say you're tall but not tall enough to rock a sailor pants the way Harry does but to your surprise, you looked rather ravishing tonight.

Your best friend of 2 years gifted you these pants as a joke as you always teased him about wearing one so one night he brought you these pants and said, "you better at least look okay in it" but now jokes on him. You thought that those three pictures will do the honors of mocking him.

As you're locking your front door, you hear your phone notification - a new message from "Sugar Baby :<", an inside joke that you used as Harry's contact name.

"Who was I kidding, you look good in anything. Take care and don't forget our plans tomorrow!", the message said, quickly responding with two frog emojis, you locked your phone.

---

The club really is packed but your cousin had this private booth for everyone so it's all good. You partied like a college student with your cousin and her other friends, managing to not ruin your clothes despite of everyone's clumsiness.

You don't remember much besides drinking and dancing and talking and laughing and kissing this guy - Austin. He was one of those guys that looks like they modeled for some clothing magazine - an underwear apparel perhaps.

It didn't get far with Austin, you mostly just danced and made out but you're also not sure since you're too drunk to comprehend anything. The last thing you remember was you saying goodbye to your cousin and Austin getting you a cab then you're back to your house.

You didn't remember if you paid the driver more than the real rate but you didn't care, you're too excited to try this hairstyle you saw on one of your cousin's friend.

Opening your front door and locking it after you got in, you kicked off your heels and got a bottled water on the fridge to bring to your room. Everything looks blurry but the digital clock on your bedside table reads 2:13 AM.

The last thing you remember was removing your almost non-existent makeup after changing your clothes and sitting on your dresser.

---

You woke up on your bed feeling light-headed but at the same time feeling like you have 10 pounds of rock on top of it. You noticed that you're laying on your bed wearing your worn out college shirt, some underwear and a tiny pair of shorts. Your blinds shut all the way and your clock reading 9:48 AM.

Freaking out, you remembered your plans with your best friend today. Scrambling out of your bed to your bathroom, you brushed your teeth and washed your face thanking the heavens for giving you enough time to change out of your clothes last night - which is now on your hamper near your bathroom door - and cleaning your face properly.

You also noticed that your hair is properly styled - your hair's upper half's sectioned into three then braided to meet in the middle, while the half down's curled into waves.

You left the bathroom and went to your dresser to check your phone. You saw that your hair curler is still plugged but turned off - quickly unplugging it - and your other hair styling supplies laid on your dresser.

You head is still pounding as you look through your messages and missed calls. None of them from "Sugar Baby :<". Sighing, you racked your mind as much as you can to remember why your hair is styled this way and why hasn't your best friend called, maybe he got called in the studio last-minute, your mind told you.

Shaking your head, you slowly opened your door to strut down to your kitchen to eat some breakfast and take some Advil to at least ease your headache.

You were about to put some cereal on your bowl when Harry appeared out of nowhere startling you, a few bits of your corn flakes now scattered on your table.

"Mornin' sleepy head", Harry chuckles, greeting you with a teasing smile as if to mock you for mocking him last night when you're the one who's hammered right now. You looked at him with scarred eyes then pulling your eyebrows together as if questioning him.

"You gave me a spare key, remember. Knew you'd be hung over so I didn't woke you up, just let myself in. Was in the washroom when you got down.", he said answering your unvoiced question, "oh I also got you some waffles from your favorite diner, it's in the living room.", you only smiled at him as a sign of gratitude.

You started cleaning up your mess when you heard him speak once again, "wild night huh?", Harry teases you.

You looked up to meet his eyes, "Huh? What're you talking 'bout?", you asked in your morning voice, only having to talk right now for the first time.

"Huh? What are you talking about?", Harry failed miserably on trying to copy your voice, you only laughed at him. "C'mon love, don't be shy now!", he added.

You shake your head at him and looked down, "I really don't know what you're talking about...", you kept your head down as your tried to think of everything that happened last night that might connect to what Harry was saying.

"So you're telling me nobody tried to hit on you with THAT outfit last night?", he joked.

"Uh well someone did but nothing happened, I swear, so please just tell me what is it. My head hurts when I try to think."

Harry took his phone from his pocket and gave it to you, the camera app opened. You can see your tired looking face on the screen, "look at your neck, you got three.", Harry explained.

Trying to find what he's talking about, you moved your hair away from your neck and saw it. Three bruises on your neck, a hickey perhaps? One below your right ear, one just above your left collarbone, and one in the middle of your neck.

"Oh...", was the only thing you said as you further examined the bruises and giving the phone back to Harry. You're sure that Austin didn't leave a mark then you realized something.

At first it looked like a love mark but when you looked closely to it, you'd realize that it's a burn - your hair curler burn. After realizing it, the events after you went home last night came rushing back making you hold your head.

You remember everything from changing your clothes, to removing your make up, to sitting on your dresser and clumsily trying this hair style you saw on the party and managing to burn yourself more than usual as you curl your hair, then going to bed after you gave up by turning off the curler.

Looking back at it, your hair style and burns doesn't look that awful for some drunk fella doing it. And for some reason, you don't want to tell your best friend the truth so you just shrugged it off as you finished cleaning up your mess.

You can feel his eyes burning on your neck as you rounded the table and giving him a hug, "thank you for the food.", you said and went to plop down on your couch in the living room, leaving H astounded and confused.

You started opening the take out boxes that contains your waffles and some other breakfast as Harry opened your T.V. and launched Netflix.

The silence was nice for your head with only a few laughs here and there as you both watched and eat some breakfast but Harry was unusually very quiet, not making any remarks at all.

You decided to ask him later and finished off your food, Harry already done with his a few minutes ago. You stood up the couch and took your trash to the kitchen then taking some pain reliever for your head before going back to the living room.

When you went back to Harry, he was just looking absent-mindedly on the television so you sat really close to him and took his right arm so you can tuck yourself beside him, bringing back his arms but this time around your body.

"What's the matter?", you asked as you looked up at him, the medicine already taking its effect making you less dizzy.

"Just tired love.", he said not looking down at you. You only nodded and never thought much about it and looked back to the show you both were watching while caressing his hands that's laying near your tummy.

A few more minutes on the movie, you called out his name, "Harry, I can tell something's bothering you...", you whispered.

Harry being Harry, whipped his head so fast that your lips accidentally touched in a peck. Sighing, he moved his head away from yours, "later.", was the only thing he said, not giving you any explanation.

You knew that the sigh wasn't because of the accidental kiss. You've shared a kiss or two before when you were both drunk or accidentally kissed like this so it wasn't new but it didn't stop you from running your tongue throughout your lower lips when he wasn't looking.

He was acting really strange. He's always really affectionate and flirty when it comes towards you so - always mocking you or telling you jokes and distracting you most of the time by tickling you as you cuddle with him - so you know that something's bothering him right now.

He looked at you when you started to move away from him, only for you to straddle his lap and hug him, something you usually do when he's feeling down.

Yes, it doesn't look like something best friends would do but you both became really comfortable enough around each other to do this.

The show long forgotten as you tended your Harry, running your hands through his hair as you pecked his hairline repeatedly. Harry had his head on your neck as he holds you tight against his body, his two big hands covering almost all of your back.

You don't know how much time has passed but you didn't mind until you felt Harry's hand going at the back of your neck, finger tips felt like he's tickling your skin but you didn't make a huge deal out of it.

Your legs now feeling a bit numb so you adjusted yourself on his lap, Harry's head snapping back to you, "stop moving, Y/N.", he said sternly and you whispered an apology. You knew how much he hated it when you two cuddled and you can't stop moving.

He just put his head back to your neck again and for a few minutes everything is peaceful until you felt ticklish on the spot where Harry's head's placed but you refrained from moving, not wanting to upset him any further.

The movement was barely there for a few minutes until you can firmly feel his lips kissing and licking your neck, "H-harry, wh-what are you d-doing?", you tried to push him away but he only hold you closer, your moans threatening to spill as he continues his movements.

You then felt him suck and bit on your neck, a movement you knew will give you a mark - Harry's mark, and then you realized that where he's doing it is the spot where you burned yourself.

You cannot stop yourself from finally gripping his hair to push his head more towards your neck, both of you moaning a bit.

"What're we doing?", you panted heavily as Harry moved his head, probably heading towards your other burn below your ear.

His mouth working deliciously on your skin making your stomach churn and making you grind on him in return, moaning in delight.

"I'm just making sure that those marks are now MY marks.", Harry looked up to you with droopy eyes then went back to marking you.

"I- bu-", you couldn't form any coherent word, let alone a sentence so you just let your best friend mark you as much as he wanted.

You know it's wrong and that you vowed not to cross any line but his lips just felt too good on your skin to stop it.

You gripped his hair tightly making Harry moan as he marked you on the thrid spot, the middle of your neck, one of your sweet spots - and you think Harry noticed as your moans and whimpers of his name got louder making him suck harder.

You grounded you hips on his, feeling him get hard. You yanked his hair away from your neck and met his lips in a hot steamy kiss. His hands now on your hips, helping you move your hips against his.

Moans, pants and whimpers was all you can hear around the living room until you pulled away.

"I- Harry what are we thinking?!", your frustration is heard and can be seen on your face, your lips swollen and your neck red and starting to bruise from Harry's earlier assault.

Harry throw his head back on the couch, "fuck! 'M so sorry love! I- I always- fuck! I just, was so jealous of the guy I couldn't contain my possessiveness and you're not even mine!"

You only looked at him surprised, "I-", you didn't finish your sentence as you went back to kiss him again which took Harry by surprise but eagerly kissed you back.

"It was a burn.", you panted against Harry's lips.

He pulled away, looking at you confused, "what?".

"Nothing happened last night, we only made out, it wasn't hickeys, it was hair curler burns...", you explained blushing.

He put his hands on your arms, caressing it lightly, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Dunno", you shrugged, "guess I wanted to know how you'd react, make you jealous maybe...", you looked down ashamed of yourself, feeling so small under his gaze.

Harry only laughed as he run his fingers along his marks, "well it worked. Got really jealous, love.", he said and angled your face to meet his eyes. "Liked you since forever and I was jealous, thought he got to take THAT outfit off of you last night...", Harry murmured, his ears looking red out of embarrassment making you feel a bit better.

"Liked you since forever too... and good thing I went home alone, huh?", you teased Harry, ruffling his hair a bit and putting both of your hands on his shirt clad chest.

"He still got to kiss you..."

"Well then guess you got a lot of making up to do!", with that you kissed him again, hungrily. Until he pulled away.

"Cheetos.", Harry said then went back to kissing you again but you're too confused to continue.

"H, what?"

"Those three pictures last night...", he kissed down your neck as he continued, "Cheetos, salsa-queso for the one where you looked cute and cheesy...", slowly going back up, "the sweetos Cheetos - the cinnamon sugar puff ones - for the one where you looked like a child...", he pulled away at last making you breathe out finally, "and flamin hot Cheetos for the one where you looked really sexy.", Harry smiled cheekily at you as you pondered on what he said.

"You couldn't have thought of something better to compare me to, huh?", you laughed at him but you think it's sweet, really.

Harry played with the tips of your hair and said, "I bet you fifty bucks that you sent that last picture just to seduce me."

"Well Mister Styles you're right!", you laughed, "why? Are you mad?"

"Mad? That outfit made me lose control, really thankfully it led to this."

You pecked his lips once more, "hmmm, you're right... so what now...?"

"Well for starters, you could've called me to take care of you last night...", his sweet words ran through your head until he continued, "and well you owe me...", he did this cute thinking face that you love, "you have to wear it again, this time, with ME beside you, want us to match too!", you giggled at his childishness but let him continue.

"That's just an excuse to take it off of you the next time around!", he overexaggeratedly winked at you, letting you know that he's joking - maybe not but honestly you don't mind!

You sighed then smiled, "that's it?"

"Well you do owe me a date, miss."

You removed yourself away from him and stood up, "is that so? You gotta call me SUGAR MOMMY first!", you teased him.

"Stop! Come back here!", Harry made a grabby hands at you while jutting out his lips.

"Okay, just tell me when and where!", after that words came out of your mouth, Harry quickly went to where you're standing and kissed you for a few seconds before carrying you to your bedroom where you spent the rest of the day kissing and laughing and planning for your first date. Making a mental note to buy those Cheetos to bring along to your date.

Your headache long gone and the both of you not feeling any hunger as long as you got each others lips. For the first time in months, you felt really happy, now you wouldn't be jealous of Harry being with other people, and him to you but the thought of putting your friendship with him at risk scares you to death but with him beside you, you knew that it'll all work out in the end.

_____

[zmayadw]

Hello again :)

Heres a second part of my fanfic, as i said in previous post that i will add one or two. I know the begining might be a bit long and boring, but i decided my other two favorite Duskwood characters deserve some love ,too. :)

 Thanks to all who took their time to read it!

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 2

Next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital. The bright light from the window made me squint my eyes, and my head throbbed as hell. „Arghh, too bright.“ I mumbled, as a cheerfull voice next to me responded  „Well finaly, I was begining to worry you would never wake up! You know, you're taking those beautysleep advices too seriously.“ My eyes ajusted to the light, and I was looking at that cheerful, loving face, the face I knew oh so well. „Hmm, considering all, an extra hour or so of beautysleep is so allowed for me.“  I said, my voice hoarse a bit. She snorted „Make that 'an extra day or so'! You slept for almost three days!“ she said, walkig towards my bed and hugging me carefully. It felt good, just knowing she was there. She pulled away from me, her face serious.  “What wer you thinking?“ „ I'm sorry Jessy, so, so sorry.“  I said, tears swelling behind my eyes. „ I know what I did was stupid, but belive me, I really tought I was doing the right thing.“ „The 'right thing' almost got you killed Maya!“ she yelled at me, wich made me realize just how much she was worried about me. I burried my face in my hands, tears falling down „Please Jessy, dont be mad at me, I feel awfull as it is already. I realize my actions wer wrong, but I cant undo any of it now. And God knows im more then happy to be alive, and Hannah too! And I know my „sorry“ might not be enough this time, but I reall am sorry Jessy, you cant imagine how much. But please, please, you have to forgive me, I couldnt stand if I loose you!“ I couldnt force myself to look at her, I was so scared she would just get up and leave. And who could blame her, really, after all I did, she would have every right to do so. Suddenly, my hands wer slowely being moved from my face, and i opened my eyes  to see hers holding mine. I lifted my head, and our eyes met. Hers wer now also full of tears. She hugged me so fiercly, and even if everything still hurted me like hell, I was so reliefed and hugged her back tightly as I could. „Ofcourse I forgive you, Maya. I was so damn worried and scared that I will loose you!“ I was releifed to hear her say it, I hugged her even tighter, saying through my tears „I'm sorry Jessy.“ She held me like that for a while, and then pulled slowly back. „I'm glad you're ok Maya.“ She said, smile coming back to that pretty face. „Look at us! Bawling here like little kids.“ That made me chuckle, and i said whiping my tears  „Huh, I never tought our fist time meeting would be with me in the hospital. But, hey, im not picky, i'm just glad I finaly had a chance to hug you.“  „I dont think anyone imagined this to be the place of your first meeting us. You do realize others will want to come and see you? Dan already wanted to come with me, he was mumbling something about how he owes you a whiskey. But i gave him such a stern look, he just kissed me goodby and said to say 'hi' from him and ran away from me.“ The tought of Dan being scared of Jessy made me laugh so hard, i got a little dizzy from the pain. Jessy noticed me vincing, quickly saying „But that can wait, you need to rest more first. It's not like you're going anywhere anytime soon!“ She looked at me all serious, and i understood why Dan acted like he did. „Dont worry, Jessy, I wont try to break out of hospital.“ I said with a grin on my face. „A bit of r'n'r is definatly what I need now.“ „Good! And since i'm clearly your favorite person from our little clique, you wont get rid of me that easy while  in here.“ She said cheerfully. „Thanks, Jessy. I mean it, Im really glad you're here with me.“ „Me too, Maya, me too.“ She stayed with me that whole afternoon, and I was happy about it. We talked about everything we could think of: how we gonna take that walk arround Duskwood together, having coffee at the Rainbow caffee, going to Aurora for drinks. Jessy was so full of life, and managed to stay so positive through all of this mess. She told me that police gave her my stuff and my phone, and will bring me what i need. It wasnt so important, but i could really use my phone.  It was like Jessy could read my mind, and she looked at me with simpathy „Did Jake contacted you?“  There was a knot in my stomack when she asked, because I knew I wasnt out in the clear with what I did with everyone just jet. „I dont know, Jessy,  I guess i'll find out when I get my phone. But im sure Lily told him all about it by now, and to be honest, it's the one conversation i'm scared of having at the moment.“ „I'm sure it will be fine.“ „I really hope so, Jessy. I really care so much for him. I dont know for sure what he feels, and it doesnt really matter, I just cant stand the tought of him being mad at me. Or not talking to me anymore...I got so used of having him arround, even just virtualy..i dont know Jessy, i cant explain it... i just need him in my life. Does this make any sense to you?“  She looked at me, with care and a hint of worry showing on her face „Yes Maya, it makes perfect sense.“ We talked for a while more. She looked at the clok on the wall and jumped „Oh, yay I gotta go, forgot Im meeting Dan! He made me promise to meet later, since I didnt let him come with me here.“ „Heh, better go then, I dont want Dan blaming me AGAIN for getting stud up by you. Or he might not buy me that whiskey he promised, an to be honest I could really use it now.“ I sad smiling at her. „Ohh no, you two are gonna be a pain in the butt when you meet, arent you?“ she groaned, but a smile was written all over her face. „Dont worry, i'll behave..as much as possible. As for Dan, im sure if you join us and give him some of your 'scarry' looks, he'll behave too.“  She bursted out laughing. „Oh, cant wait for it! I'll go grab your phone  real quick, and then im off.“ She ran for the door, stoped, turned arround giving me one more of her beautiful smiles „I'm really glad you're ok Maya.“ I smiled back,“ Me too Jessy, me too.“ She came back with my phone, plugged it to charge next to my bed hugging me quickly before leaving.

It was almost dark outside, and the room was so quiet since Jessy left. There wasnt much comotion in the hospital, and I appriciated it actualy, some peace after all the mess was a nice change. I stared at the window for a while, just enjoyeing the sceene of the sun setting down, the sky taking that purpleish-blue color. I was actually delaying the moment of turning my phone on, because I was scared. A the same time I hoped Jake would contact me, but then I was also scared of talking to him. Its been three days since the incident, and im sure Jake found out everything by now, so maybe he vented some of the anger off in the mean time. Ah, c'mon Maya, dont be a sissy! – i tought to myself – You stared death in the face, and showed it the middle finger, and you're scared of that thing? I took a deep breath, took my phone from the stand, and turned it on. It felt like forever for it to turn when i punched my code, and when it finaly did, i left it aside. The beeping of new messages, missed calls, new emails and all was the only sound spreading through the room. And with every beep my stomach reacted a bit, thinking if any of those beeps belongs to Jakes. I got so lost in my toughts, that a voice snaped me back, startling me a bit. A nurse smiled „Sorry hun, i didnt want to fright you. Just came to chek up on you, ask if you need anyhting and to give you some pain meds.“ She winked at me „It's the good stuff, will help you sleep better.“ „Thank you, mam, im good.“ I smiled back at her, and quickly glanced at my phone - 44 missed calls, 24 messages, 17 emails. That will be some time killing stuff. The nurse was done, she waved at me wishing me good night, saying to feel free calling her if I needed anything. I thanked her again as she left the room. I took my phone, my hand shakeing. I checked 'missed calls' first, and tho i didnt expect it, was a bit dissapointed Jake wasnt among one of them. I opened the messages, and Jessy's message was on top. „Sending you hugs&kisses!“ it was written under the picture of her and Dan, grining with their glasses raised. It made me smile, and i texted her back „Hehe, Dan must be happy you actualy came this time! xD Have fun you two, cant wait to join you. Hugs&kisses“ I checked other messages, and my hearth squeezed a bit when i saw he didnt texted either. I didnt feel like replaying to any at the moment, settling the phone back on the stand. I switched off the light above the bed, turned on the side, staring at now complete darkness throught the window. One tear rolled down my cheek as i closed my eyes, hoping sleep will come soon.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 45, radio version, August 2016 - Dobashi in Brazil, 'Crush the NHK' election broadcast, Shark movies.

Kaoru starts the show by commenting on how suntanned Joe looks. Joe says he attended Fuji Rock and got tanned. He spent three days watching live performances and had a great time. The weather was relatively mild, cool at night, no rain, so Joe says it was quite a 'comfortable' Fuji Rock. Joe asks Kaoru if he's getting a suntan yet. Kaoru says he hasn't got a tan at all. He has been spending all his time indoors song writing.

Kaoru then reminds listeners that its only three more days until the live special will be broadcast, and reads out the title of it again. Joe says its quite a rough sounding title. People will be intrigued by it. Kaoru then says he has recieved a message from Dobashi in Brazil, and proceeds to read it out..The message reads as follows: 'Hi to everyone at TFoE. Are you all well? Are you into 'Hiranabe Go'? (*Kaoru comments, 'We kinda are'*) At the time of this broadcast I am in the Southern hemisphere, in Rio de Janeio, Brazil. There may be people wondering why Tokyo Sports has come here. I've been requested to do Tokyo Sports style reporting here, but nothing dangerous enough to get us into trouble. Some of my articles are already published, so please, fans of Dir en grey, fans of Joe, fans of Kami, and fans of Hiranabe with thier butts out (*Did I get this right?? '平鍋の下半身出たファンの皆さん'...??😳*), please do go and pick up a copy of Tokyo Sports. There will also apparently be a live broadcast of this show on August 9th and I will join it from the other side of the world for just a little while. Security is so bad here, and I may be robbed during the broadcast, but I won't miss it! Everyone please listen'. Kaoru and Joe both say they are looking forward to it. Kaoru reckons it'll be about lunch time in Brazil when Dobashi joins them for the show. Just the kind of time he's likely to be busy with work.

Tasai joins them next, for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai goes back to the question of why Tokyo Sports is at the Olympics. He says that overseas, people see the word 'Tokyo' in Tokyo Sports, and often mistakenly assume that it must be the major sports newspaper in Japan (*It isn't actually considered a serious newpaper at all in Japan*). Once, when a Tokyo Sports journalist went overseas to report, a special reserved seat had been set up just for them. Kaoru says he can understand how such a misunderstanding could take place. If they, as Japanese people, heard of a newspaper with 'New York' in the title, they would assume it was pretty major. Tasai calls this, 'Tokyo Sports magic'. They laugh about how the people in Brazil might see Dobashi and think 'Wow, a Tokyo Sports reporter!', they probably assume he's rich.

Tasai's first news is about one of the contenders for the Tokyo Governor position, Tachibana Takashi, who represents the N Koku party (or The Party To Protect The People From The NHK). His election broadcast/pitch was pretty incredible, says Tasai. Joe watched it, so knows all about it, but Kaoru did not. Tachibana was originally an employee of NHK. He quit after leaking info about NHK's financial trouble to a gossip mag. When running for Tokyo Governor, he put out a 6 min televised election pitch, which was actually broadcast on NHK, in which he repeatedly called for the NHK to be destroyed. This has gained both supportive and critcal reactions from the public. NHK employees get a very high annual salary, which is paid for by the NHK fee imposed on the public. Even people with low incomes are hounded for this fee, which Tachibana thinks is questionable. In his pitch, Tachibana also raised the many crimes or wrongdoings which individuals related to NHK have been involved in, including the case of two NHK TV announcers who were having an affair, and were caught having sex in a car. Tachibana claims the NHK is trying to cover up this info. Kaoru wonders if Tachibana is holding some kind of grudge against the NHK.

Joe then mentions the documentary movie 'Candidates/立候補', which deals with the topic of bubble candidates in elections. This movie features Mac Akasaka who is also another bubble candidate in this Tokyo Governor election. Joe explains that a bubble candidate is a candidate who is not expected to recieve many votes (like Tachibana). He adds that in order to run in the election, any wannabe candidates have to first pay a fee of ¥3million. This is to try to avoid joke candidates from running, and to make sure the candidates who do run are doing so seriously. The movie in question deals with the idea of paying the fee whilst knowing you won't win, and the reasons for doing so. Joe says it may obviously just be for a bit of self promotion, but this is also actually a good way to put a message out to the public that would never normally get there through the mass media. At the same time, there is always the risk that you will come across as a joke, despite paying ¥3million. Its a risk you have to take if you run as a bubble candidate. Tasai adds that any candidate that recieves less than ten percent of the vote has to forfeit the money they paid. Joe says that most bubble candidates never clear this post, and they have the added burden of campaign costs. They may get a chance to speak out about what they want, but it costs. Tasai comments that criticizing the NHK publicly is actually a massive tabboo, so ¥3million is perhaps not so expensive if it means being able to say such things publicly. With the tv election pitch which all candidates get, you have 6 mins on national tv to speak the truth exactly as you see it. Tasai's favourite thing about Tachibana's pitch is that at the end of his speech, he proposed a kind of quiz asking viewers to guess how many times he had said, 'Crush the NHK!' during the last 6 mins.

Joe also mentions that the 6 min televised election pitch can also unfortunately be used as a means to deliver hate speech, which was seen in the pitch of candidate Sakurai Makoto, founder of the ultra-nationalist/far-right group Zaitokukai. Allowing candidates to speak thier mind directly comes with this risk. Joe then brings up the legendary election pitch by rock star Uchida Yūya, still available to watch on youtube today. (*Do check this out if you havn't already!*)

Tasai's next news is about the recent hit shark move, 'The Shallows' (Japanese title: Lost Vacation.), starring Blake Lively. The movie had quite a low budget, but has taken in huge amounts at the box office. Tasai asks Joe and Kaoru if they like shark movies. Joe says he knows someone at the Rolling Stone office who is a shark movie mega-fan. Shark movies have evolved a lot since 'Jaws', there are even movies about flying sharks etc out there now. Its proper b-movie territory. These days there is also a lot of shark merchandise, like shark backpacks etc.

Tasai goes on to say that shark movies are particularly popular with young women these days. The younger generations, particularly women, are not that interested in mainstream Japanese movies, but much more into horror etc. Kaoru didn't know that young women actually went out to watch movies much these days. Tasai says they apparently tend go as groups of three or so. Each of the three will then tweet to thier friends, and so popularity spreads. Kaoru comes to the realisation that women also actually like scary stuff. Tasai says (*I think*) that a scary movie is the place to go to find young women this summer, and Kaoru likens this to playing 'Hiranabe Go'.

To finish, Kaoru comes back to talk about the live special which will happen in 3 days. Joe admits a lot of his friends have asked him about it. After the last live boadcast, they all recieved a bit of a bashing. Kaoru doesn't know how it will turn out. Joe says they will look back over the last six months during it, and Kaoru adds that he will play some more of the new jingle entries for the last time. Finally, he plugs the Dum Spiro Spero tour and ends the episode.

Songs - Dir en grey/Lotus, ???/??? (*couldn't make this out*), Dir en grey/Utafumi

Back to radio top page

[kathy13taffy]

Something Different

Here’s a little smutty Destiel fic set in post 15x20. Dean has never had sex with a guy so he buys a set of butt plugs to prepare for his first time with Cas. 

--

Dean walks hurriedly around the bunker, sticking his head in every room to double check nobody’s home. He’d heard Sam say he was going out to lunch with Eileen and he’s fairly sure Cas is out too, but considering what he’s about to do he has to make sure. Feeling confident that he’s alone, he goes into the Dean Cave and locks the door behind him.

He can’t remember the last time he’s been this secretive. Even when he reads Busty Asian Beauties he doesn’t make an effort to hide the evidence. In fact, back in the motel days he’d leave the magazines out in plain sight for Sam to find.

Back then he’d thought he had Sam convinced he was straight. Little did he know Sam was privy to what was going on between Dean and Cas even before Dean understood it himself.

After Dean rescued Cas from the empty he’d decided it was the right time to tell Cas how he felt. That day they’d held hands, shared soft kisses and even slept in the same bed, Cas’ head resting snug on Dean’s shoulder. It had been the best day Dean’d had in a really long time—possibly ever. His heart had been racing the entire time and yet he felt safer than ever. He didn’t know why he hadn’t let himself have this sooner, but then again he did know why. There had always been people to save, monsters to kill and he hadn’t wanted to complicate things.

Sam had noticed the shift in their relationship and much to Dean’s surprise, he didn’t seem phased by any of it. He just smiled and said, “I'm happy for you, man”.    

Dean appreciates it. He’s never been good at talking about the chick-flick stuff, but especially now when it involves his feelings for his best friend who also happens to be an angel—who also happens to be a dude. This is uncharted territory.

Dean can’t stop thinking about the day he had with Cas. It was so different from anything he’s had in the past. He’s had flings with so many women that sometimes the nights all blend into one. He doesn’t want to rush things but he lets his mind wander. He knows sex with Cas is going to be different, and it scares him, but he wants to experience things differently than he has before.

Dean pulls a duffel bag out from under the bed and opens it up. He rifles through old receipts, rusty pocket knives, and cassettes tapes until he feels the crinkle of a paper bag between his fingers. He pulls it out, his heart already beating fast in anticipation.

He pours the contents out on the bed and just stares at it for a moment. Part of him still can’t believe he actually bought this stuff. Lying on the bed are three silver butt plugs, increasing in size from left to right.

Taking a deep breath and one last paranoid glance around the room, Dean pulls his jeans and underwear off and hops up on the bed. He grabs a bottle of lube out from the bedside cabinet and squirts some into his hand. With two fingers he rubs it into his hole. He snatches up the smallest of the plugs and sizes it up for a moment before lining it up against his ass. Here goes nothing.

He plunges the toy inside, and for a moment it feels tight but then it slips into place. He lets himself relax around the plug for a few moments before he pulls it out. It feels strange to have something up there. He’s not used to the feeling. He pushes it in and out a few more times before he decides it’s time for an upgrade.

The next smallest plug is about the girth of an electric toothbrush. He adds more lube before he starts to experiment with it. It goes in a little slower than the last one, and he winces, but once it’s all the way in he’s able to relax again. This time he can feel it a bit more intensely against his prostate. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine Cas inside him. Blood rushes to his cock immediately and he begins to stroke himself. Fuck it feels good.

He picks up the pace with faster, longer strokes. His hips buck upwards and his cheeks feel hot like he's in a fever dream—and part of him thinks he is because he can’t believe he’s letting himself fantasize about being fucked by Cas.

He’s close to climaxing but he doesn’t want to yet. He can take more. With some effort he manages to relax enough to pull the plug out. He gasps at the sudden lack of stimulation and reaches desperately for the largest plug. When he sees it up close he swallows hard; this one is quite a bit thicker than the last. With a deep breath he begins pushing it inside.

“Mmmh” he moans painfully. He wants to feel the fucker inside of him so bad, and he’s not a wuss, but it feels like a hell fire inside his asshole. He has to take a second to pause before trying again.

He lies on his back, spreading his legs as much as possible and tries to imagine Cas kneeling above him. The thought sends shivers down his body. He needs to feel him inside again. Lifting his hips he pushes the plug all the way inside. For a moment his vision goes white and this time he growls out in pain, but once it’s in it feels glorious.

He lets his head fall back as he begins stroking again. His lips curl into a smile as he mouthes his lover’s name.

Cas.

It feels so good. He begins moving faster again and at this point he’s sweating and his whole body is shaking.

“Cas”

Now he’s yelling his lover’s name and he can’t stop.

“Cas, Cas, Cas”

He calls out the angel’s name in rhythm with his strokes. With his eyes closed he can picture Cas there with him, thrusting into him. He can hear him too.

“Dean”

Dean sits up fast, his eyes snapping open, and to his horror he locks eyes with Cas—not fantasy Cas, real Cas.

“Cas,” Dean says, “I thought you were out”.

“Dean, I heard you call my name. I thought you were hurt. I came immediately.”

Cas’ words come out as a whisper and his eyes are wide, fixed on Dean’s cock. He looks unsure how to respond so Dean helps him out.

“C’mere.”

Cas obeys, climbing onto the bed with Dean.

“Take off your pants”

He does, and now it’s Dean’s turn to stare. He’s seen Cas’ vessel before but never like this, never close enough to reach out and touch. Cas’ cock is already getting hard and Dean makes it his mission to get him all the way up. He strokes his lover’s cock until the angel is quivering and thrusting his hips into Dean’s fist. He looks like he’s never been touched this way before, and Dean realizes he probably hasn’t.

“I want you to fill me up”, Dean begs.

Cas hesitates as if he doesn't quite understand, but then Dean feels Cas’ grace tapping his mind and suddenly they’re in synch. Cas lifts Dean’s hips so his legs rest on on the angel’s shoulders. Dean moans loudly as Cas removes the plug and this makes Cas pause.

“It’s going to hurt,” Cas warns.

“I know" Dean responds with a smirk.

“Why are you smiling Dean?” Cas’ head quirks to the side. “I can use my grace, make it painless for you, if you would like.”

Dean chuckles at this.

“Nah”, he says “I want to feel it. The pain, the pleasure, all of it. I’ve spent so long not feeling, Cas. I’ve spent too long not letting myself feel things for you because I wanted keep things simple. Well I’m tired of that.”

It’s probably the most romantic thing he's ever said to Cas and he means every word.

“As you wish”, Cas says, a look of determination coming over his features.

He hoists Dean’s hips up higher and angles his cock toward Dean’s hole. He manages to grab the lube and rub some onto himself without loosening his grip on Dean. Dean loves seeing his angel get so dominant; it’s a huge change from the obedient little soldier he used to be.

Cas gives Dean one last look with eyebrows raised and Dean just nods. Then Cas is pushing in, slowly. Dean tries to relax. With just the tip inside it doesn’t hurt, but as Cas pushes further in Dean has to shut his eyes and grip the bed sheets. Still Cas pushes in deeper and now Dean lets out a moan because his angel’s cock is so thick inside of him. A few more inches in and now Dean feels the burning sensation again; he knows this is gonna hurt bad but he lets Cas carry on.

Dean yelps as Cas pushes the rest of himself inside.

“One sec Cas” he needs to adjust. Taking a breath he relaxes his hole around Cas' cock. The pain doesn’t lessen but he’s comforted feeling Cas in the deepest part of him.

“I’m ready”.

Cas pulls out slowly until only his tip remains inside and then thrusts back in, summoning a gasp from Dean.

“Fuck, babe” Dean growls. He’s never called Cas that before but he likes the way it sounds.

Cas seems to like it too because he tracks a hand under Dean’s shirt until it lies on Dean’s heart. He starts with slow, long strokes, Dean’s breath hitching with each wave of stimulation.

Cas’ pace intensifies and now Dean can’t catch a break. He writhes under Cas, moaning and cursing and jerking himself off desperately. Cas’ cock is like a hot iron driving into him, filling him non-stop with agony. But god it feels good too, with Cas striking him in the right spot over and over.

He calls out Cas’ name as his vision goes fuzzy. He can feel Cas’ hips thrust several times more before he bursts into Dean. The angel collapses onto Dean’s chest, resting his head on the hunter’s shoulder.

He whispers gruffly, “I am very happy, Dean.”

Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ torso. He feels breathless and sore as if he’s just fought off an army of demons, but he doesn’t mind. Getting to feel his angel inside of him, and now to have him in his arms, is everything he never knew he needed.

“I’m happy too, Cas.”

[ya-boy-roy-toy]

27, 22, and 19 for the ask prompt please 🖤❤

27. Does your muse use any toys?

So Jay and I use bondage materials on each other from time to time— it’s not something that we can just do spur of the moment, and we both have to be in the mood to handle that kind of play. But definitely my favorite toy (and arguably Jay’s too) started out as a gag gift. Jason got me a butt plug for Valentine’s Day one year as a very sexy invitation for being at his mercy for the rest of the night (which really turned into a weekend, but that’s beside the point). I really, really liked it, and I felt like he was missing out. So, for our Anniversary, I bought him a special set of plugs that are various sizes, and he absolutely adores them. They’re also gifts that we can both appreciate, especially when we’re feeling frisky and decide on wearing them around the safehouse (and yes, we also have some for wearing on the job).

(You can see said plugs in this post!)

22. Does your muse like rough or soft sex?

I am not too picky; my preference is to just follow along with what my partner wants, and I take more pleasure in that. I find unexplainable ecstasy in slow, gentle movements and whispers, just as much as I do when I’m covered in bruises and my hair is being gripped like a leash. Speaking of that though, I do have a preference for my hair to be involved in our play— pulling, stroking, yanking, running your fingers through it, all of those are my superhero weakness (Shh! Don’t let the villains know that though!)

19. Has your muse ever had a boner/gotten wet in a public place?

Ok, embarrassing storytime: when Jason and I were younger, like back when he still lived in the Manor, he was an insatiable horn-dog (not that he’s much better now— I blame the Lazarus Pit, really). I hung out around there and stayed pretty often, and so Jason used that to his advantage. He would get my poor teenage ass all riled up in the most inconvenient of places and situations.

Probably the worst of these was at a Gala Bruce was hosting at some fancy venue; Jason and I had been running around all evening, eating off of every tray of food, stealing sips of expensive champagne wherever we could. Jason also did everything he could to push my buttons and get me wanting him, and it all came to a head when he pulled me down a dark, empty corridor. I pulled him closer, nipping and kissing at his neck as he giggled lightly and continued leading me down the hall. We got up to a door when Jason stopped us, and I took that as my cue to carry on with the show, pinning him up against it and grinding into his leg. “Hold on, gotta do something first.” Jason had said as he pulled away and straightened out his suit and hair, but still wore a soft smirk. Ever the dutiful rich-dude’s ward, I knew he was probably about to head out and do a photo op with Bruce, and I was sooo glad it was him and not me, because I currently had a bit of a situation in my pants that had only been encouraged by the alcohol and pleasurable company. But when Jason opened the door I heard Bruce’s voice introduce Jay, “— and the adopted son of our event’s major donor, Roy Harper.”

Believe me when I tell you that I have never felt as much fear in my life as I felt then— and that’s saying something, given my profession. So, cue me awkwardly shuffling in, half-hidden behind Jason, trying to make my ehm- excitement go away. Of course there was a photo op after Bruce said a few words, and I prayed to whoever was listening that my skin wasn’t too flushed, but totally knew that my stark-white skin would appear pink in every picture (but also that they would easily blame it on whatever teenage hormonal bullshit they could come up with).

Jason did end up feeling a little bad about what had happened, and more than made up for it with a quick and messy romp in one of the building’s conference rooms. But he still will sometimes bring up this little gem whenever we are out at some fancy function on a job or otherwise, and accompany it by trying his best to recreate the situation— he mostly just wants to see my face heat up at the memory, because he’s truly a sadist.

Want to ask for one of these saucy headcanons yourself? Come see what’s on the list right here!

[adverb-slut]

Let’s Film An Adult Video! (Fanfiction)

Aha, here is another story from me.  This is super dumb and lighthearted an features a lot of Simeon, which is yay, I think.  Anyway, again, this is a silly, cringy thing that I was bored and wrote.  Also, it is on AO3.  Sorry for posting so much, I promise I’ll tone it down soon if that bothers anyone! >.<

Title:

Let’s Film An Adult Video!

Summary:

When Simeon believes he's asked by Asmo to film an adult video, MC decides to help him, only to find out that sex is not the only thing on the Avatar of Lust's mind.

Genre:

Slice of Life/Humor

Rating:

T

Word Count:

2012

Additional Note:

All the dialogue between the MC and Simeon that are in italics means that it’s not verbally expressed, but is rather mouthed between you.  And yes, you can understand each other because you’ve magically developed the talent of impeccable lip-reading.

-

You yawn slightly as you exit your Introduction to the History of Demonology 1001 classroom and shift the straps of your backpack.  You groan at the weight of all the homework your obnoxious teacher assigned to you for the day. 

Your eyes feeling heavy—you had stayed up with Levi all night yesterday playing one of his newly-released games—you stumble forward, nearly tripping on the velvet hallway runner that lines R.A.D’s tiled corridor.

You manage to regain your footing, but again, your ungraceful stroll is impeded by something else—that something being a tall, brown-skinned angel, who leans against the wall with furrowed brows.

You brighten instantly.  “Hey, Simeon.” You notice the frown on his face.  “Is something wrong?”

Simeon shakes his head.  “I have to admit, yes, but it’s nothing for you to worry about, MC.”

You cock your head.  “Are you sure? I’d like to help.”

“Well,” Simeon replies, smiling at your earnestness.  “I don’t know if you can help.  In fact, I’m the one who got myself into this mess, so I suppose I’m the only one who can get myself out.”

You have to wonder what kind of conundrum a pious creature like Simeon could have gotten himself into, so you say, “Just tell me what happened; maybe I can offer some insight.”

He nods.  “Okay, then.  I guess there’s no harm in telling you.”  He sits down, leaning his back against a row of lockers, and motions for you to do the same.  “Ah, see. You know, up in the Celestial Realm, we don’t use D.D.Ds. We have our own type of communication devices, sure, but we’ve never really had the need to use anything as complicated as what’s used in the Devildom.”

“Yeah, I remember Solomon telling me that you and Luke were super intrigued when Diavolo gave you guys your D.D.Ds,” you reminisce, as you pull out your own device.

“Yes, they’re really quite complex.  We had trouble getting used to them at first.”  Simeon laughs cheerfully. “I especially am fond of sending stickers and such, although I have trouble typing actual messages, though.”  He pauses. “Anyway, I wanted to get better at navigating my D.D.D, so I enlisted the help of Levi earlier this week since he’s so good with technology.”

You stop him there.  “Impossible—Levi’s favorite game just got a new installment on Sunday, so he’s been playing it all week.  He’s been at it pretty much 24/7. Actually, I helped him yesterday.”

“Yes, the fact that Levi is busy this week made it so that despite our arrangement, I couldn’t rely on him.”  The angel shook his head sadly. “However, Levi did recommend that I talk to Asmodeus if I wanted help with my D.D.D considering Asmo spends a lot of time on it browsing and posting on Devilgram and DevilTube.”

You nod.  “Makes sense.”

Simeon goes on, “The thing is, Asmodeus said that if he taught me the ins-and-outs of my D.D.D, he wanted something in return; I said that that was alright.”  He looks down, and you can’t help but notice the slight blush on his face as he continues, “Today he let me know what he wants me to do.” He takes a deep breath.  “He wants me to film a video in his bedroom … a video featuring him and his … lady friends .  He said he’d do it himself, but he’d be pretty … occupied during the video.  He also said he’d have a script and everything.”

“What?”   You can feel your eyes bulge out of your head, making the connection between the Avatar of Lust and … scripted bedroom videos.  “He wants you to film a porno with him starring in it?!”

Simeon nods furiously.  “You realize it too, don’t you, MC?  I’m sure that’s what he wants, right?”

“Right.  He really must be a demon if he wants an angel to film him having sex …”  You sigh. “Maybe tell him you don’t want to do it?”

He shakes his head.   “No, I can’t do that—I can’t break a promise I made to him.”  He sighs. “I’m just going to have to buckle down and do what he asks.”

You feel as if you should’ve known that as an angel, he wouldn’t go back on his word.  You decide to alleviate him, considering he looked miserable. “If you want, I’ll help you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, MC!” Simeon gasps.  “You’re not the one who promised this to Asmo!”

“I’m doing it,” you affirm.  “I told you I’d try to help, so I’m gonna.  With me there, we can take turns controlling the video camera, so you don’t have to see as much … stuff.”

The angel seemed to sense that there was no way that you were budging from your stance, so he groans.  “I guess there’s no stopping you, then. Let’s go to Asmo’s room and film an adult video!”

“Huh,” you comment, peering through the threshold to Asmodeus’ open bedroom.  “He’s not here.”

“Yes, he said we could come in beforehand to get all the equipment set up before he brings in his female … companions.”  Simeon blushes at the last two words. “Although, I’m not sure we’re going to need all that much recording stuff.” He pulls out his D.D.D.  “I mean, Asmo showed me how to work the video camera on this so I think we can use that to film.”

You nod.  “That sounds fine.  The video quality might not be that great, but since we don’t have anything else, I guess we can just use that.”

Before you can see anything else, you notice that Simeon has begun to wander through Asmodeus’ room.  He turns to you, clutching a small, pink, egg-shaped object. His eyes widen in suspicion. “What do you think this is, MC?  Some kind of weird sex toy?  Do you think they’ll use it in the video?  Because if so, I’d like to film that part, to see what hole it goes up in.”

It’s your turn to blush.  “I—I believe that’s called a BeautyBlender, Simeon.  It’s a sponge for makeup.”

“Ah, I see.”  He places it back on Asmo’s vanity and notices that a pale powder has rubbed off the beauty sponge and onto his fingers.  He looks curiously at you.

“Foundation,” you explain. “You can wipe it off.”

He nods and reaches toward what looks like a slick metal hand sanitizer dispenser placed on the vanity.  But, before he can press the actuator down, Asmodeus prances into his room.

“Hello, everyone!” Asmo sings.  “Oh, lovely! MC, you’re here, too!  I’ll do you after I’m done with these two.” 

He gestures at the two female demons that had followed him into the room; both are surprisingly, unconventionally beautiful, with strikingly attractive features that didn’t seem to follow any beauty standards.  He saunters toward his bed, pausing when he notices Simeon’s hand poised on the ‘hand sanitizer dispenser.’ “Ooooh, are we interrupting something?” He glances at you and then Simeon, grinning. “If we were, don’t mind us, and do go on!  I’ll join in if I notice a lull!”

You cock your head.  “… What?”

Asmodeus shrugged.  “Well, I can only assume what was about to go on, considering Simeon’s hand is poised on my lube dispenser.”

Simeon whips his hand away from the metal canister, his face bright red.  “I—I thought it was hand sanitizer!”

“No, no, that’s lube—good quality stuff, too!”  Asmo beckons toward the two other demons, and they walk further into the room.  “Lailah, Feota, come, sit on the bed, darlings.”

As the two girls quietly make their way to the bed, Simeon mouths to you from across the room (you magically have insanely good lip-reading skills and can understand him perfectly), “Holy Father, MC, he has two ‘lady friends!’  We’re gonna be filming a threesome!   How scandalous!” 

You nod furiously and point to Asmodeus, who had sauntered over to his closet and is now returning with a massive pink box that is covered with glitter.  He plops it down on his bed next to Lailah and Feota.

“I got my bag of tricks!” Asmo explains, pointing to the box. He taps his fingers gleefully.  “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Bag of tricks?” you mouth to Simeon.  You have a sneaking suspicion that in regards to the genre of this video, that could only mean one thing.

He turns to the both of you, saying, “I just need to grab a few more things for the video, so if you guys could just hold off on the filming for a few minutes, that would be fabulous.” You and Simeon watch as Asmodeus turns toward his vanity, opens the drawer, and pulls out a curling iron, which confuses you because … where did a curling iron fit into sex?

“Vibrator!” Simeon mouths, gesturing toward it, his eyebrows raising.

“Curling iron!” you mouth back to him.

Asmo yanks out an eyelash curler and puts it on the vanity.

“Nipple clamps!”

“Eyelash curler!”

Next, the fifthborn demon pulls out an assortment of pointy makeup brushes.  As you notice the number of beauty supplies accumulating on his vanity, you begin to reconsider the exact nature of the video you and Simeon are to film …

“Butt plugs!”

“Literally brushes, Simeon!”  You begin to wonder exactly how dirty the angel’s mind is.

Suddenly, Asmodeus produces a pair of fluffy red handcuffs from his drawer, before cheerfully blushing and shoving them back inside.  “Whoopsie! Heehee, those aren’t for right now!” He walks back over to his bed, grabs the pink box, and sets it onto the vanity.  

He turns toward you.  “MC, be a doll and pull that ball chair up over here toward my vanity.  I only have one seat here and both Lailah and Feota should be in front of the mirror.”

“So whoever’s not participating in the sexy times at the moment can watch!” Simeon, his eyes bugging out of his head, mouths to you, again.  

You facepalm in exasperation and not even bothering to respond to his previous statement, you mouth, “I’m not sure we’re filming porn, Simeon.”

The angel looks at you in shock.  “How can you be so sure?”

Just then, Asmo opens his ‘box of tricks,’ hauling out dozens of tubes of liquid lipstick and eyeliner, at least ninety-three different eyeshadow palettes, and several different small cases of foundation in every skin tone, as well as various other products.

You raise an eyebrow at Simeon.  “Because everything he’s gotten ready so far is a bunch of makeup products.”

“Maybe he wants to look good for the shoot!” Simeon counters.

You shake your head.  “I don’t think so.”

Finally noticing your and Simeon’s silent exchange, Asmodeus turns to you and nods.  “Ohh, I bet you guys are wondering about the script.” Before you can correct him on the fact that that is not what you two were pondering, Asmo pulls out a sheet of paper from his vanity drawer and hands it to you. “The script is just something I wrote so that you guys know which angles to film me and the girls from so that we look our best and the audience gets the most out of the video since you guys are just amateur videographers.”

Simeon meanders to your side and reads aloud from the sheet.  “‘For the most part, focus on either Lailah or Feota’s face—whoever’s makeup I’m doing at the moment.  Normally I’d tell you to put the camera mostly on me, since really, why look at anything else?—but because this is a makeup tutorial and these two are my models, I guess it’s smarter to focus on them.’”  Simeon raises an eyebrow and looks at Asmodeus.  “ … Wait, so we’re really just making a makeup tutorial video?”

The Avatar of Lust nods enthusiastically.  “Yes! For my wildly popular DevilTube channel!” He pauses.  “What else would we be filming?”

You and Simeon exchange a look and sigh.

THE END

[flrtips]

Oral Pleasures

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented. Consider yourself warned.

Cunnilingus is pretty much a staple of FLRs. Our men love to perform it on us for hours on end, and we just lie back to receive orgasm after orgasm, night after night. Right?

For lots of FLR couples, this is indeed the case. Most men who are drawn to FLRs and properly starved of orgasms, are extremely happy campers when they get to put their head between their woman’s legs. And there’s no doubt that many women thoroughly enjoy it, too. Properly done, many of us will agree that it feels wonderful and can be extremely satisfying, both physically and mentally.

For others, it isn’t quite so simple. Some women enjoy it as foreplay, but not as the “main course”, at least not night after night. Others enjoy it when they are able to relax, but have certain issues preventing that from happening most of the time. Finally, there are those who feel plenty relaxed, but just get nothing out of it. 

The premise of the rest of this article is that you’d like to enjoy oral sex more, since it is a very practical and natural expression of the power dynamics in an FLR relationship. If you’re happy about not caring about oral sex, that’s perfectly fine - go read another article.

Let’s say that you generally enjoy oral sex, but you don’t find it particularly interesting, and you’d get bored pretty quickly if it was the main ingredient in your sex life. In my experience, this is the most common attitude among women who are new to FLRs, and it’s a perfectly reasonable attitude to have! Here are my tips for you:

Revel in the power your pussy holds over your man. Even if you don’t find it particularly sexually stimulating, you might find it very satisfying as a ritual. Speaking for myself, I feel that being on the receiving end of very frequent and utterly one-sided oral sex is the symbol of feminine rule in our household. And I know my husband feels the same way.

Think of it more as pampering than sex. It certainly doesn’t have to be the main ingredient of your sex life, even if you do it on a daily basis. It can be something you do as a ritual, because you find it pleasant, because you feel it is befitting your type of relationship, because it makes your man happier etc. Whenever you feel like having a different kind of sex, just do so.

Having an orgasm is not necessarily the goal. There are countless things your man can do while he is between your legs, and licking you to orgasm is just one of them. This applies to you as well - you don’t have to stop what you’re doing just because he is down there performing his duties. In fact, it probably has a stronger “FLR ritual effect” if you both treat it as nothing our of the ordinary. So continue reading your book, play with your phone, or even do a little bed-side work. If it becomes pleasurable enough that you want to just lie back and enjoy an orgasm, then you should of course do that, but only if that’s what you feel like.

If you do have an orgasm, you certainly don’t have to end things. You’ll probably be extra sensitive right after you orgasm, so he should learn to ease back to gently kissing you or whatever for a while, but feel free to go for another orgasm or a nice, long period of post-orgasm oral pampering.

Don’t worry about his comfort - at all. If you feel more comfortable being covered in sheets or a duvet, have him crawl under it and stay there for as long as you want, nevermind if he gets hot. If you want to lie on your side or your stomach, go right ahead, nevermind if it forces him to maintain an awkward position to reach you properly. Not only does this free you to be as comfortable as you can, but he will absolutely love you for being selfish and demanding like this. Trust me.

Make the oral sex about power play. Sit on his face, rub your juices all over it, restrict his air flow, have him lick your ass instead. Many women, myself included, enjoy this part at least as much as the actual licking. Using your pussy and ass as “weapons” can be an immensely powerful and enjoyable feeling.

If you don’t actively dislike it, use oral access to your pussy as a reward for your man. Conversely, if you do enjoy it frequently, take it away for a period as punishment.

Focus on other aspects of it. Surely, there’s a certain psychological pleasure to be had from knowing that you have a man who would love nothing more than to go down on you every single night, when your vanilla girlfriends are lucky to get it once a year?

Understand that for a lot of men it’s not mainly about the licking, it’s about having their faces close to the “holyest” of anatomical places. The smell, the wetness, the warmth, the opening up of your legs, serving your needs, the mere symbolicm of it.

Don’t feel obligated to learn to love it. If you do, great - your man will be pleased. If you don’t, there are plenty of other things to enjoy in a FLR, and you can still get it whenever you feel like it.

To me, it’s all about seeing the possibilities rather than fretting about whether you find oral sex satisfying enough.

OK, let’s turn now to those who enjoy (or think they would enjoy) oral sex when everything is just right, but who can’t ever seem to relax enough for it to be just right. This is also quite common, I believe, and can be caused by a multitude of reasons, mostly psychological. I don’t want to trivialise the issues these women are experiencing, but here are some general tips:

Explain the issues to your man and try to resolve them together. He will be more than happy to take it slow if it means there’s a chance he can get more “facetime” in the future.

If you worry about how you smell or look, consider taking your man’s enthusiasm at face value. He most likely doesn’t care, or positively loves how you look and smell.

If the intimacy bothers you for some other reason, try taking your mind off it by doing something else while he is occupying himself. Read a book, browse Facebook or Instagram, play a game, watch TV.

If you feel like you always have to be fresh out of the shower when enjoying oral sex, please don’t. Our type of men generally enjoy quite a bit of muskiness, just don’t overdo it unless you’re sure your man is into that.

See a doctor if you think you have some issue that really does makes your vagina unpleasant to be around. It may be easy to fix.

Beyond these simple tips, I don’t have much to offer. The types of issues that cause some women to find oral sex difficult can be complex, and I am not a professional counselor. Just remember that your man is your partner in this, and he can be a big help if you let him.

Finally, let’s turn to those who find oral sex just plain boring or downright painful. Again, it’s fine if you don’t feel the need to start liking it, this is for those who see the appeal in frequent, enjoyable oral sex, and would like to get there.

If you find oral sex painful, give your man clearer instructions. Have him steer clear of your clitoris, have him gently kiss instead of lick etc.

If the issue is a lack of physical stimulation (not enough friction, a preference for rougher sensations etc.), try giving your man clear instructions. He can use his tongue more forcefully, he can expose your clitoris more fully, he can move his head more vigorously, he can rub his beard against your most sensitive areas and so on. Also see the point about vibrators and toys.

If you need to be filled to feel any enjoyment, have him bring a dildo of your liking on his excursions. He doesn‘t need to move it a lot, it could just be used to get you in the mood.

Make it more interesting. Have him bring a vibrator, a butt plug or whatever else you enjoy, and tell him how to use what he brings.

I believe most women can find enjoyment in oral sex, it’s mostly a matter of finding ways to do it that suit their preferences and temperaments.

Personally, I find oral sex the most fitting expression of my husband’s deferrence to me as a woman. I also find it highly pleasing sexually, so we do a lot of it.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph! First, thank you for everything you do for this fandom!! I don’t know what we would do without you!! ♥️ I am looking to start my first novel length Johnlock fic. I found your list, and was wondering if you had a specific one to recommend to start off with? I’m looking for something that won’t make me too sad (the world does that on its own), and of course, lots of Johnlock!! Any recommendations would be appreciated, thank you!! Sending love!! *hugs*

HI NONNY!

Hmm, this is tough, because Novel Length is anything over 50K words, but some people don’t want to read “novels that short”. So I get a lot of requests for Epic novels over 100K, so like WOOO HOO LOL.

Hmm. How about I give you a few recs varying lengths, based on your requirements, and you can decide how long you want to go, since I list all my word counts on my recs?

First off, for when you become obsessed with the lengthy fics like I am now LOL:

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 3 [MFL’s] (Dec 2020)

Next, here’s something for each range between 50 and 100K+ <3

BUT BEFORE I BEGIN: honourable mention because it IS my fave fic ever, and it fits your criteria minus the length so SORRY but please check it out:

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

--------

Okay, now the main event, of more-fluff-than-angst:

NOVEL LENGTH NOT-SO-ANGSTY FICS FOR NEWBIES

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w., 14 Ch. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings, Bossy Bottomlock) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family's private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it's time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Post-TRF, Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasm Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay, Anal Beads, Tickling, Dancing, Dry Coming, Romance) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking, Massages, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Group Therapy, Past Loss of Child) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (E, 81,665 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Talk, Threesomes, Light Dom/Sub, Sex Club, Experiments, Anal, Mildly Dubious Consent, Rimming, Cheeking, Double Penetration, Mild Kink, Porn Watching, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – They’d never talked about sex in the year they’d known each other. Well, that wasn’t quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 84,945 w., 18 Ch. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w., 13 Ch. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

-------

Hope you enjoy those!!! <3 PLEASE read them all, though, and THEN READ ALL THE ONES ON THOSE LISTS. Because once you start long fics, you get REALLY INTO THEM. Hah hah <3

[b-and-willie]

Let’s Try This Again( with the completed post this time) Complications of Loathing What You Need

I know, I disappeared, and most likely will again. Serious interaction on blogs (re mine) seems to be severely lacking so there seems to be very little reason to plug on and share intimate posts publicly.

So why now? Well actually I write this post almost 2 years ago, and life has a funny way of putting us back in places we need to fix over and over again until we get it right. To be frank I highly doubt I could compose a post these days. I'm rusty in so many areas.  Covid life has put a hit on our dynamic yet it shouldn't because we have more time together- too bad our minds seem to have a constant drum in the background that seems to drown out much of our desires at the moment....

Anyway I read in a comment about a month ago something to the affect of " I read blogs sometimes and think of how sad people's lives are".  I am sure the person commenting didn't mean it as a damaging comment.  I want to point out before I continue trying to resurrect my morning's post in my mind again a few things.  I would hope that no one reads my posts and feels sad for me.  I will say that despite the struggles Barney and I have encounter since and even because of starting ttwd,  it has changed me in ways I will never ever be sorry for.  I will admit at times it seems to have caused strife between the two of us, but as I have said before, ttwd is more of a magnifier of issues that already exist more than it is a problem unto itself.  Ttwd has allowed me to unearth myself;my true, authentic self, and even in the future if for some reason we can no longer live this lifestyle that knowledge and feeling will never be taken away.

Yes it has bettered our marriage but often not in ways I read about here and there.  Sure sex is more frequent and more creative.  But honestly that is a byproduct of me being less guarded and allowing intimacy into our lives.  Anyway, that isn't why I wrote this morning.  I wrote this morning because of a few things I was reflecting on in the past 24 hours.

The first being....

Loathing What You Need

Such an ominous title right?  Here's the thing, I do LOATHE what I need.  This isn't a post about questioning my need for submission ( though one might argue it could be one questioning my sanity).  I don't fault anyone out there that is currently questioning their need for submission, I have been there countless times, but thankfully that ship has sailed! One LESS complication in my life.

No I mean I loathe the things I have to do to cultivate and maintain my submissive heartset.  Do I enjoy being spanked? HELL NO!  I mean not even a reset-though slower to start therefore easier to take in the long run it isn't a fun adventure.  Barney has and will employ BDSM tactics(?) to achieve a certain level of resetting as well.  And while I endure and my body often betrays me to indicate I enjoy it, it isn't something I crave. ( Though I am not a huge fan of 'vanilla' sex...I am more referring to the slight torture aspect lol). What I do crave is the power exchange that is created in both of these scenarios.  Do I find it 'yummy' to be told to get on my knees, or kneel- nope.  Do I find it enjoyable to wearing a plug while vacuuming, kneeling on pebbles in a freezing corner, being told to get off the computer, eat this, don't eat that, wear this, phone me if you want to have a drink/buy something/leave the house ...blah, blah, blah....Can't say I do.  No doubt my face generally indicates that as well.  BUT what I do enjoy is the benefits of doing these things- um more than the relief that I might be punished if I don't.  The benefit of, for whatever crazy reason, keeping  me unguarded.  The benefit of being constantly in my husband's 'cross hairs'.  The intimacy that is created because I have submitted to his wants, especially because I don't WANT to do them.

This isn't to say that when life is grand in the Submissive World of Willie, that I can't enjoy some aspects of submissive acts.  Some things, chore lists etc, actually become more meaningful for me.  Some days that meaning might just be that I accomplished them despite myself! lol . It also doesn't mean that I don't anticipate the needs of my husband without prompting as I do enjoy that but to me that isn't submission.

Do I have thoughts during the day like, " Well I wish he'd just ....."  yes, yes I do.  Now how confusing is that? I loath doing it, but please tell me to do it.  (Of course it goes without saying the fact that he SAYS those 'things' need to be done is a large part of the process as well)  Those of you out there that can follow my crazy rant here would probably understand it for what it is.  For me it is the end goal feeling, not the things I need to do to get me there that is the reason for the submissive acts.  I understand that there are subs out there that LOVE and Crave the acts themselves, for what they are. And I am generally a people pleaser so there is that too. But I mean  they love it, and I say "Good on you!"  I think sometimes life would be so much better and easier for Barney if I did just gleefully spring into action EVERY TIME.  I don't.  As Barney said, " You are 100% submissive - 95% of the time". It is the 5% that he tends to see now.

(Here is the don't feel sorry or 'sad' for me portion of the post )

The last month has probably been one of, if not the most difficult months in my entire life.  I know it has been THE most difficult month in the last 21 years.  There are a number of factors which have contributed to this outstanding statement,but in truth the hows or whys really aren't important.  It will be a very long time for some factors to be removed, and IF other factors can be fixed they will take a long while with a lot of work as well.  I am generally not one who can sit by and wait for life to work itself out, or to watch on the sidelines- sadly some of these situations require just that.

The one thing I can actively work on is our relationship.  It has taken a direct hit, and in some ways there was no avoiding it as focus had to be put in other areas emotionally.  However in doing so it created a situation where my submissive self became barricaded deep inside.  The dial was switched to Personal Survivor Mode.  See the big issue there?  PERSONAL....not exactly a great word to use in conjunction with ttwd dynamic.  So locked was this dial on the Personal Survivor Mode station, things Barney used to see as indications that I wasn't where I needed to be became a bone of contention.  Resentment.  The dreaded word of any relationship! Why didn't I JUST DO IT??? Were his thoughts.  It is my need after all why don't I just do it?

I was talking to a dear OLD friend last night.  We  often discuss various things but last night was a different kind of conversation, probably due to sheer emotional exhaustion on both our parts. We started discussing our submission in a way perhaps we haven't in a while.  One thing she mentioned to me in reference to something else was, the fact of how fortunate we were to " have experienced the benefits and beauty of submission".  A light went off in my head this morning thinking of that (yeah I'm a bit slow these days).  That is what has been missing these past few months.  Right before the house of cards started crumbling down around us, we had had a pretty wonderful week.  Unfortunately the pressure one felt coupled with and because of  the fulfillment of the other, seemed to cause issues immediately after said week.  I felt deeply during that week.  I felt free and myself again, even though I did screw up, and question myself as to why.  I felt it.  I felt the benefits and beauty of it.  I was once again A submissive not merely BEING submissive (and that is okay if you identify as the latter- I don't mean to put a public hierarchy on it, I am only referring to my personal feelings of self).

For the last while,and again somewhat due to life circumstances, I haven't felt fulfilled in or with my submission.   This morning I was punished, sigh AGAIN, which you know is part of the deal right? It was physically a challenging punishment to take as I had been severely punished yesterday and that had yet to leave me.  The severity wasn't due to  my act that got me punished but because of my 'act' WHILE being punished.  If you are new here or you know forgot- I tend to be a bit of a hard head which later in the day after my bravado wears off and my butt thaws is NEVER a good thing.  After my punishment I was told to reflect on how I was currently feeling and tell Barney when he asked.

Okay ladies and gents this is generally NOT a good thing for us! LOL.  At least not of late.  Barney should really know by now that he shouldn't ask questions he doesn't really want to hear the answer too! My response was I felt resentful.  I was punished and I deserved to be based on our dynamic.  I am not denying that.  I felt resentful because I feel like maybe he is putting me in a position to force his hand- literally.  He is trying to get us back on track.  He is being consistent with punishments, but for me, the punishment is a result of something else not working, or being acknowledged.  Please don't take this for me BLAMING Barney for my actions....though I suppose it does sound like that doesn't it? These are actually  his words from the not so distant past.  These punishments are isolated incidents.  Without his active dominance after, there is a void.

I never tested Barney when we started ttwd.  I know I have mentioned that countless times.  I am no saint.  I just didn't do it because he said if he ever thought I was testing him, he would end our dynamic.  I guess that stuck with me.  Have I 'poked the bear'?  Yup.  And as I have also said, I didn't test him because I was afraid that he would 'fail' and then where would I be?  In addition to that, for years I loved just doing what was required of me.  That along with self analysis was enough to help me discover who I was deep down.  But as life changes, and discoveries are made complications arise.  We are all organic in nature as are our relationships.  Those who choose not to continually adapt may eventually fail.  ( If you are married to a pain in the butt like me )

In the past, though not often with a grand amount of consistency, red flags would go up if I was being punished.  Honestly I am an emotional creature (shut it) and punishments often are not a deterrent for me.  What I mean to say is 'in the moment' I tend to forget that my butt is going to fry, or I will be unplugged (electronically) because of my words or actions.  Naturally over time Barney began to see punishments as being a failure on his part because to him I am not fearful of them (ask me right before on day two and see how NOT fearful I am of them).  I now fear the red flags are not being seen, just the red ass.  The building on dominance from the ultimate dominant situation, has been missing. (Save today, but I had already started to write, so just go with me on this one).

As I stated earlier, when situations arise and we find ourselves where we currently are, I tend to see things as isolated events.  One event not really connecting to another.  Barney tends to fixate on one 'type' of dominance during these times.  For example punishments and reactions. However, when things are running as smoothly as they can here

(pretty much as smoothly as this)

Barney can multitask in his domination.  Though punishments are rare in that 'euphoric' state...lol

Here's the thing....there are so many conflicting messages being transmitted out by me...even 5 years in.  

I need this, but I hate aspects of  it

I want you to make me, but I don't want to do it...but I will because I want to.

Make it your own, but don't forget how it affects me

Consistency with punishment is required for effective results- but it isn't all about reacting and punishments

Cultivate but ....

And when we are in a good place, these messages don't seem to be so loud, but when we go off course, everything seems to cause hurt, frustration, and the world's worst secondary emotion- anger!

All of these things of course can be talked about.  The issue really becomes not only putting it into practice, but a practice that BOTH can see.

The issue with 'falling off of the wagon' is the interpretation of the past.  What if one is clinging to the successes while one is clinging to the failures?  What if the one clinging to the successes is also affected deeply by the failures, and is holding back moving forward because of it, yet indicates that the other SHOULD just push through?

YUP....clear as mud.

We are fine (yes the dreaded word).  Barney is holding true to what he currently can.  To be honest it is me.  I am the issue.  I can go on and on as to the whys I believe I am the hold out but I'm not entirely sure that would be helpful.  After all it would only be my interpretation of events.  So the whys to me (for once in my life) aren't as important.  I have to just put one foot in front of the other and follow along- doing the best that I personally can.  But there is the issue, can/ want/ need....sigh what if some of it I loathe and after so long of not believing it mattered if I did or didn't-( you know "If a tree falls in a forest..." )how do I convince myself I should; that it will matter? At the very least to me once again?

[malereflections]

Thumbnails of My Edgy Interests

Occasionally, my interests and fantasies include some things at the margins of the sexual landscape. Here are some thumbnail sketches of a sampling of these. The post is rather long, and is divided into subsections with appropriate subject headings so you can pick what you want. You will probably be surprised by what you read.

Initiation  - I am being initiated into an all-male secret society. The initiation is carried out at night around a raised alter deep in the dark woods. There are a dozen or so hooded, robed figures surrounding the altar. They pass a metal goblet into which each contributes a small amount of urine. As the initiate, I am led to the altar where my robe is removed by the high priest, exposing my nakedness. I am given the goblet to drink. Then, I am laid out on my back on the altar so that my head bends down over the side, and my legs are spread and my ankles are secured in stirrups. The high priest offers up some incantations, then loosens the front of his robe revealing a massive hard cock. He takes me deeply and pounds me mercilessly until I feel his hot seed deep inside me. He walks around and inserts his ass-fresh, cum covered cock into my mouth for me to clean. Another member steps up and also takes me with his cock until he too, fills my bowels. He also uses my mouth to clean him, and the process repeats itself until all members have had their turn. A large butt plug is then inserted into me to retain the cum.

Jacuzzi - I enter a specially-designed Jacuzzi with three other guys that has knee pads and seat-belt like straps on the sides centered on a nozzle jet. Two guys face the jets, two face away. I start out facing toward the jet on my knees. The knee pads are adjusted so that my sensitive cockhead is right in front of the nozzle. I am then strapped tightly to the side, as are the other guys, and the pump is turned on. I cry out at the exquisite pleasure caused by the jet. It is so intense that I practically lose control of myself. It is not too long until I am shooting ropes of cum into the boiling water. I am moved to another station, standing in a deeper part of the pool, facing away from the nozzle, and bent slightly forward. I am positioned such that the jet is aimed right at my anal orifice, and I am again strapped tightly in place. The pump is started, and the jet blasts against my opening. I hold my anal sphincter tightly closed against the liquid assault as long as I can, buy eventually, it tires and relaxes. I groan as the high velocity jet blasts into me and floods my bowels. Soon I am distended, and mercifully the pump is turned off much to my relief. I realize that the water in the tub (and inside my ass) is now mixed with cum from the other guys.

Donkey Ride - I visit a special dude ranch, catering to male only clientele. One of the activities involves a private, guided burrow ride down into a deep canyon over a steep, rough trail. The saddle has a large, erect male dildo affixed to its center. When I mount up, the dildo is lubricated, and I am assisted in lowering myself (totally naked) slowly down onto the 8-inch long phallus until I am fully impaled. Once in the saddle, my feet barely reach to the stirrups such that I am unable to stand and raise myself up off the saddle. We move out, and I try to suppress my groans as the motions cause me to rock in the saddle with each step. As we descend the steep trail, the motions throw me violently back and forth and up and down in the saddle. I can contain my pleasure no more, and I moan aloud as I reach my first of several anal orgasms. That evening, I am taken to the barn where the burrows are kept, bent over a bale of hay on my stomach and restrained, then mounted and penetrated by a male burrow, who extracts his reward for a day of service. Now it is time for the burrow to signal his pleasure with loud baying that echoes down the canyon. All of those in the camp recognize this bay.

Symphonic Stimulation - I am restrained and blindfolded, and connected to an electro-stimulation device, with one electrode connected to a conductive anal probe, and the other to a rod inserted several inches into my urethra. The control unit is synchronized with music, with the intensity of the electric pulses proportional to loudness, and the frequency of the pulses proportional to tempo. It is turned on and I am left alone to enjoy the music from a long symphony, and the indescribable pleasure. My unintelligible groanings are drowned out by the music.

Canine Encounter - I am dressed in animal skins, with only my head and my ass uncovered. I am made to get on my hands and knees with my stomach and chest resting on a short padded bench, to which I am restrained. Concentrate of urine from a female dog in heat are liberally applied to my shaved asscrack. I am blindfolded. Shortly, the door opens and I hear what sounds like a large dog enter the room. I hear panting behind me and feel the touch of a cold nose to my ass. Suddenly, the beast is on my back with his legs locked on my sides. I feel the stabbing of his hard wet organ, probing, searching…then he hits home, and I moan aloud as I am deeply and relentlessly impaled by the rapid thrusts of his massive red phallus. His large knot forms inside me, and we are locked as he floods me with his canine seed.

Bed Boy - I am the guest of an important official in a far-away land with a different culture, and have been invited to spend the weekend at his secluded estate. Upon retiring to my room for the night, there is a quiet knock, and I open the door to find a servant with a scantily dressed, young prepubescent boy. The servant urges the lad into my room and tells me he is compliments of the master, for my companionship and enjoyment. Without saying anything, the boy removes his short robe, climbs onto my bed, and strikes a seductive pose. He is small but beautiful, with long blonde hair, smooth hairless body, and undescended balls. He would be known as a catamite or  puer delicatus, an exquisite or dainty boy-slave selected by his master for his beauty as a sexual partner, dating back to Roman times. I know for me to refuse such a gift would be to insult the master.

I remove all my clothing and join him on the bed. He has obviously been coached on what to do to please a man, in every way possible. His little cock stays hard, and even though he is too young to ejaculate, he can experience intense boygasms. I give him many of these with my mouth. His bubble butt and puckered orifice are what dreams are made of. My mouth waters for the taste of his hole. I take him into my arms and proceed to ravish him repeatedly, filling his mouth and his tight ass with my semen, and enjoying the pleasures of man-boy love throughout the night. He quietly slips away at daybreak. In the morning my host asks how I slept. I smile, and try to hide a yawn. He knows, and says he is glad. The next night there is another knock on my door. It is a different young boy, but same outcome. This continues every night of my visit.

Hungry Calves - I have heard that nothing sucks like an hungry calf. I make arrangements to visit a special farm, and in one of the barns there is a sling suspended from the rafters. I climb into it and lie on my stomach, and my host secures me to the sling so that I am immobilized. There is a small opening through which my cock (now hardened with Viagra) and balls descend. I am suspended with the bottom of the sling about 4 feet off the ground. My host applies dairy crèam to my genitals. He leads several hungry young calves are led into the room, then locks the gate, leaving me alone. I moan aloud as am relentlessly milked by the calves until I empty my hot milky nectar into their incredible sucking mouths. Unsatiated, they continue to suck me to a multiple orgasms.

Quenching Thirst- I lie on the bed slightly propped up by a pillow against the headboard. My nude lover climbs up over me, straddling my head on his knees. He inserts his semi-erect cock into my willing mouth. Our eyes lock as I await his special present. Suddenly, my mouth is flooded with hot salty liquid and I consume the entire contents of his distended bladder. Not a drop is lost. Then, I suck him and drain his manly balls of their pent up load.

Polishing the Knob - I am stripped naked, and tied spread eagle on the bed on my back, blindfolded and gagged. Several large pillows are placed under my hips to elevate my middle so I am in a reverse curve. My Viagra fortified cock is constricted by cords tightly wrapped around the root and balls to keep it swollen and rock hard. My partner climbs onto the bed on his knees, grasps my shaft, and using the lubricated palm of his other hand, proceeds to “polish my knob” with much energy. He uses several motions, all of them aimed at my sensitive swollen cockknob. I writhe uncontrollably on the bed at the intense pleasure, pulling against my restraints, screaming into my gag. The sensations are too intense to bring an orgasm. But, he gives no relief, other than to vary the motions, teasing me. Finally, he changes to a stroking motion and gives me a much needed climax. But instead of stopping after I ejaculate, he goes back to polishing my knob, using mu cum as a lubricant. Once again I am writing and screaming as he continues to stimulate my  cockhead, which is now very sensitive.

Fist and Arm - I am naked and positioned on my back in a sling suspended from the ceiling. My wrists and ankles are secured up above me with my legs spread wide. A small boy, also naked, stands  between my legs. A lubricant has been generously applied to his hands and arm. He slowly begins to force his hand into my rectum. I groan and grimace from the discomfort as my anal muscles are stretched. He does not relent until my ass has consumed his hand. He makes a fist and continues his forward motion until he is up to his elbow. He then begins to plunge his fist and arm in and out like a piston while he strokes my cock with his other hand. I am crying out in pleasure and straining at the harness. I am completely out of control as my orgasm builds. Suddenly, I explode and my anal muscles contract in powerful spasms, gripping his arm as my cum shoots all the way up my chest.

Exposure - Periodically I have to feed the exhibitionist in me. I stay at a somewhat sleezy motel with external corridor access, when family vacations are not in season. Late at night, I crack open the window curtain, just enough to see into my dimly lit room. I then shamelessly exhibit myself engaged in sensual play on the bed wearing erotic black lingerie, impaling myself on a large male dildo. A shadow passes by the window, then returns and briefly lingers. I know he is there, watching me. He vanishes. In a few moments I receive a room-to-room phone call. I know it is he, even before he speaks. I ask him if he saw anything he liked. Of course he did. Want to see it up close? Yes. Then, come on by, I’ll leave the door ajar. He wastes no time. I return to the bed, continuing my shameless show. He is quickly naked, and joins me on the bed. I give myself to him. No more words are exchanged, except for my moans and sensual whispers, begging in the most explicit language for him to take me.

Anonymous - When I engage in receptive anal sex from a guy, I take him bare, all the way to his ejaculation, for all of the typical reasons. In the heat of passion, we don’t want to stop to take time to cover up. He may lose his focus and erection when doing so. Also, the pleasurable sensations are much greater with bare skin. But, more importantly, it is the indescribable satisfaction of taking a man’s hot seed deep inside. Of course, understanding the risks, I try to be selective and careful when engaged in such activity. This caution is usually not possible in certain settings (adult bookstore video booths or gay spas) with multiple anonymous partners.

In a typical scenario, I am in a booth with a sizeable, elongated opening in the partition with the adjacent booth. Of course, I am naked, as I always am in such a setting. I check out the guy in the next booth, who is also naked. He is muscular, tanned, bald, heavily tatooed and pierced, with goatee. He is stroking his cock, which is unusually large and fully erect, and has a thick cock-ring piercing the flanged head. I beckon him over to the partition, and he slides his magnificent member through the opening. I immediately take him into my mouth, as much as I can, and begin to suck him. Anonymous cock is so good.

I stop briefly and slip a very sheer and thin condom on him. I turn around and back up to the opening, bending over and positioning his engorged knob at my hungry, pre-lubed opening. I back up further, my sphincter yields, and he penetrates deeply until he is bottomed out. I back up so my ass is against the partition, and he begins to thrust his cock into me like a powerful piston. There is no stopping. I want it, and he knows it. I am groaning, and the partition is shaking, so everyone in the hallway would know what is happening. Finally, he slams into me, and I can feel his hard phallus jerking in uncontrollable spasms, over and over, as he ejaculates a flood of hot manseed.

When the spasms cease, he slowly withdraws, I turn around, and to my utter surprise and shock, the end of the condom is torn open, and his large cockhead is bare and uncovered, still dripping with cum. He has bred me in stealth. As he backs away from the opening and turns around, I see among his many tatoos one in the small of his back depicting a toxic symbol, that of a poz gay man. I have not only been bred, I have been seeded with toxic fluid.

Stepdaughter - I generally consider myself mostly gay, except when it comes to my stepdaughter, who is drop-dead gorgeous. I think she likes to tease with her tight, skimpy clothes. When she is at home, she sometimes leaves her underwear on the bathroom floor. This time I have a rare find of a thong that has a heavily stained, crusted crotch and skid marks. I am alone, so I strip and lie back on the bed with her thong over my head and face so I can inhale her pungent scent and suck in her heavily loaded vaginal and rectal secretions as I jack off. My orgasm is particularly powerful as I imagine myself eating out her wet pussy and tonguing her tight asshole. I shoot my load into the padded crotch of one of her clean panties, so that she will wear my cum against her hot little cunt.

Punished

- I am a member of a Satanic male coven. As part of my usual obligations I must visit the local temple each week and go to confession and take part in expected rituals, including the sacrament of sodomy and the sacrament of communion (shared chalise containing cum and urine). Confessions  take place in a confessional booth with the supplicant naked. Depending on the nature of the offence (sin) and the degree of contrition, the priest will pronounce absolution, and require an act of penance. Usually, this act of piety involves giving oral sex to and receiving anal sex from the priest through an opening in the wall of the confessional. The act is concluded when the supplicant receives holy demonic semen from the priest. In the event of a mortal sin (such as participating in a Christian service), severe punishment is needed to restore the offender’s place in the coven.

Having committed such a sin, I am led naked before the brotherhood to a raised platform. I am placed on my back, and my legs are pulled up over me, then spread wide apart, fully exposing my genitals and ass. My arms and legs are secured in place, so I cannot move. I am completely vulnerable. A thick towel is placed over my face. The priest recounts the sin and pronounces the sentence. I am to receive six lashes, one each from six different brothers. The first is handed a multi-thonged leather whip (like a cat-o-nine tails). He stands before me between my wide-spread legs with my ass facing him. He brings the whip down between my legs with great force, aiming at my genitals and asscrack. I scream as the thongs tear into the sensitive flesh of my cock and balls. At first I thought I would try to contain my screams, but soon find I have lost all control of my utterances as well as my body. I writhe uncontrollably against the restraints, to no avail. As one after another brother repeats the punishment, I continue to cry out at the searing pain. Between each lash of the whip, I must recite the words, “Satan, forgive my sin.” My asscrack, cock, and balls are soon covered with beet-red lash stripes.

By the end, I am reduced to a whimpering, shaking, form. Then, to finish the punishment, each brother in turn stands between my legs and pisses on my fiery genitals and ass. The hot salty liquid only makes my wounds burn even more. I am eventually released and allowed to recover.

Gloryhole -- I manage a small rental house with semi-detached garage. Just inside the side door of the garage is a closet with a door. I cut a hole in the door of the appropriate size and at the right height for a gloryhole. Occasionally, when the house is vacant, I advertise on Craigslist, offering anonymous blow-and-go services after dark, and continuing into the night. There are no longer any adult bookstores with video arcades having doors and gloryholes, so mine is the only option for those who have an interest in such activities. The responses vary, but I end up orally servicing several guys on any given evening, of all ages and sizes. Of course, I eagerly swallow all their cum (the best part, and my reward). Usually, at least one will put his finger through the hole, indicating a desire to reciprocate. Depending on the lateness of the hour, I will usually accept the offer, and slip my drooling cock through the opening and into the warm, wet mouth of the one whom I had just sucked off. I love emptying my pent-up load of semen into the mouth of a complete stranger, almost as much as I love taking theirs into mine.

Forced 69 - I am placed on my side in a 69 position with another guy. We are each made to take the other’s cock fully into our mouths, with our lips around the root and our noses against the other’s ballsack. Our bodies are bound together (chest to chest), and our arms are wrapped around behind each other and tied at the wrists. Our legs are pulled up in a fetal position with our heads between the insides of each other’s thighs, and our thighs are then bound together just behind our heads. In this way, it is impossible to pull away from the other’s cock. We have been fully hydrated, and given full strength Viagra. An electro-ejaculator is inserted in each of our rectum’s, with the bulbous probe resting against our prostates. These devices are designed for use with stockyard male animals, including bulls, to obtain semen. The anal sphincter muscle clamps down on the small extension just behind the enlarged probe, locking it into place. The probe features electrodes through which flow electricity at a special frequency and intensity. When energized only slightly, the tickling current produces an erection. When fully energized, the device lives up to its name and causes the animal to experience a powerful and prolonged orgasm with ejaculation. It is 100 percent effective (guaranteed), and cannot be resisted.

The first electricity begins to flow, and the sensations are so pleasurable that our cocks quickly become aroused. With our lips held firmly against the base of the other’s cock, there is no where for our erections to grow except into the back of each other’s mouths, eventually resulting in a deep throat condition. We have to be careful with our breathing so as not to gag as the other’s cockhead enters our throat. The Viagra ensures that our erections and full and sustained. The electrical energy flowing into our sensitive prostates is gradually increased, ultimately causing us to groan and go into uncontrollable orgasmic spasms as we explosively ejaculate copious amounts of hot semen down each other’s throat.

This process will be repeated several times over an extended period as the electrical current is cycled up and down. Of course, by this time, the hydration has worked its way through our systems, and our bladders feel like they are near the point of bursting. We hold off as long as we can, but finally, following another ejaculation (which by now is just a dry heaving orgasm, since our seminal vesicles have long since been emptied), the floodgates burst forth and we drain the hot, bitter contents of our distended bladders into each other’s stomachs.

The Apes - While on a business trip to sub-Sahara Africa, I have been taken and held prisoner by a group of native exotic animal smugglers. As a past-time, they have raised a group of male apes with a special talent. These apes have been selectively bred to have larger than average penises (most apes have rather small cocks). In addition, from adolescence, they have been trained to copulate with a naked white human, first with dolls, than with the real thing. Upon successfully mating, they are generously rewarded with their favorite foods. Any attempt to harm the victim is severely punished.

The behavioral modification is so strong, that as soon as they see a naked, white human, they immediately respond with powerful erections and precum, which drools from the tip of their cocks, much like a dog will drool in anticipation of food. The dominant male ape, usually the largest, has first claim to the prize. When he is finished, the next highest ranking ape takes the victim, and so on. After the second one mates, it becomes a free-for-all, with the remaining junior apes all vying for a chance to breed the human. Adult apes are much stronger than any human, so physical resistance is useless. Crying out only urges them on.

I learn that I am to be the weekend entertainment, both for the apes, and for the natives. I am led to the ape compound, up some steps, and out a narrow bridge to the center. The apes look on with interest, together with a gallery of natives seated around the top of the wall. When my clothes are removed, the apes become very animated and vocal. I can see their large, red-colored erections projecting out from their black fur. I am put in a basket, and lowered by rope to the floor of the compound.

The apes gather around, looking at me with lustful stares. Suddenly, I hear sounds behind me and in an instant, the powerful furry beast is upon me. He pushes me to the ground face down, spreads my legs, raises my bare white ass, and begins to hump me, stabbing my furrow with his drooling phallus. After a few misses he hits home, and plunges his massive member deep into my virgin ass as I cry out in pain. The crowd of natives cheers upon hearing and seeing my deflowering. His powerful hips thrust against me, impaling me repeatedly on his hard rod. His loud grunts are mixed with my own moans, partly of pain, but more and more of pleasure. Finally, with a loud roar, he drives forward and floods me with his hot animal seed. This again brings cheers from the gallery of spectators. He pulls off, and I roll over on my back.

The second ape wastes no time, and he is quickly upon me. He climbs over me, spreads my legs, and begins humping me as the first had done. I wrap my legs around his stocky waist and lift my hips to him. His shaft finds my oozing orifice, and he drives it fully into me in one swift motion. The cum of the first ape is a natural lubricant, and I am once again uttering groans of pleasure as the ape fucks me with much passion. I find myself responding to the pounding with a series of anal orgasms. He signals his own orgasm with a powerful thrust and loud bellow. He withdraws, and I feel warm cum running out of my now-gaping opening.

As soon as he pulls off, two junior apes are over me, pushing and tugging for the opportunity to mate. I end up being sandwiched between them, and they continue their humping until both their cocks are inside me, causing me to cry out as I am stretched, much to the delight of the crowd. After the apes finish breeding me, they withdraw, leaving me as a helpless form on the floor. A couple of natives gather me up and help me from the compound. This is to be the first of many such events during my captivity.

The Church - I visit a church that is known for its services to the gay community. I choose a time that is set aside for confessions, and enter the private confession booth. I introduce myself, and tell the priest (hidden from clear view on the other side of the partition) that I have sinned, and I briefly explain my recent sexual encounter with another man. He wants to know more, so I give him a description of my experience, all in very explicit detail. He tells me that I will have to do penance, and that I will have to make a daily offering for seven days to demonstrate suitable contrition, after which I can be absolved.

I am to come to the church before sunrise each day, go to a room where I will disrobe and don a robe, then go to a small darkened chapel. There, I will approach the altar, light a candle, remove my robe so that I am completely naked, and kneel on the bench. I am to stroke myself while reciting a prayer until I ejaculate my offering of semen into a small challis that will be provided each day. I do so for six days.

On the seventh day, I approach the altar, remove my robe, and drop to my knees as usual. Only there is no challis. Instead, out of the shadows steps a robed hooded figure, who approaches and stands in front of me. He parts his robe to reveal a semi-erect phallus, which he begins to stroke right in front of my face. He tells me that my offerings have been accepted, and that he will grant absolution by giving me the consecrated holy seed of mother church, which I am to consume before him in a sacred ritual. After a few moments, he reaches behind my head with his free hand, and pulls me with open-mouthed onto his throbbing drooling rod, just in time to hear a gasp and taste several spurts of hot priestly seed, which I dutifully swallow. It’s good to feel forgiven.

Call Home - I am in the motel room on a business trip with a good friend who is a virile, insatiable top. I have enjoyed the last ten minutes on my stomach with my hips raised up on a pillow, being impaled from above and behind by his throbbing 7-inch mancock as I moan and grasp at the sheet. I roll over, spread my legs, and lock my ankles behind his neck as he mounts me again. Only now, we can enjoy prolonged kisses as he makes passionate love to me, pausing only to keep from cumming too soon. We are interrupted by the phone by the bedside. I have been waiting for a call from home, and I have to take it. I break off our kiss, and try to converse with my wife without moaning and gasping. My lover slows his thrusts, but continues unabated. When my wife begins a long description of some happening, I rotate the phone away from my mouth and turn back and resume the deep kissing. I break off our kiss occasionally to get in a quick “oohhhhh…” or “”hmmmm….”, just to hold up my end of the call. When the call finishes, I tell her goodnight and that I love her. After I hang up, my lover resumes with heightened enthusiasm, ravishing me with raw animal passion. There is no stopping now. His body motions between my legs bring me to a hands-free climax, which in turn triggers his own powerful orgasm, flooding me with his hot seed. 

Frozen Cum - I have a newly retired friend and widower who is a habitual, compulsive masturbator, often jacking off three or four times over the course of a day. Due to my home situation, it is difficult for me to get free to meet him very often as I would like. So, he saves up his cum, freezing it until he has 4 to 6 ounces. When we meet at a restaurant for coffee or lunch, and he will slip me the frozen cum. When I have some private time alone. I will strip and inject the thawed cum into my ass using a large syringe. I will then vigorously fuck myself to orgasm with a large male dildo, using his cum as a lubricant and pumping it deep into me. The dildo is covered with a white, sticky lather as it plunges repeatedly into my hungry ass. After I climax, I slowly withdraw the dildo, bring it to my mouth, and suck off the cum residue.

Coming of Age Ritual - I am researching a lost tribe in a remote area of Africa. I make contact, and speak to them through my interpreter/guide. I am particularly interested in coming of age rituals for young adolescent males of the tribe. The boys of the tribe wear little clothing, only a small loin cloth. The are friendly, but are most curious about me. I am larger than the natives, and stronger, probably because of nutrition.

As night falls, I observe an older native departing the camp on a path, followed shortly thereafter by a boy. After a brief time, my guide beckons me to follow him along the trail. It is getting dark, but in the moonlight, everything is still visible. We stop just short of a clearing, In the center of it is a post to which the older native is tied. He is blindfolded, on his knees, with his back against the post and with his hands and ankles tied behind the post. He is aroused, and his erection is enhanced by a tight cord around the base of his balls and cock. A young boy (looks 10 or 11, but probably older), also naked, approaches him on his hands and knees, and without touching the older native, takes the cock into his mouth and begins to suck. It is clear that he has been coached, since the older native is moaning with pleasure under the oral assault. Soon, the native strains against the restraints, cries out, and his cock begins to spasm as he unloads his African manseed into the boy’s mouth. The boy swallows, backs away, and stands up. He is very aroused as well. My guide quietly leads me back to camp, and explains the ritual to me.

The members of the tribe believe that desirable qualities of strength, prowess, and manliness (i.e., cock size) are passed on from older to younger male members through exchange of semen. Men of the tribe who exhibit these qualities are highly prized by the boys, and as a consequence are in demand. Passing of the semen is usually accomplished through fellatio (as in the witnessed case), but for more effect, it is sometimes passed through sodomy. A young adolescent male will repeat this ritual many times until he is admitted as one of the adult members of the tribe.

I ask how this happens, and my guide tells me that the youth will have a courier (a go between) deliver a leather necklace to the object of his desire. The recipient, who should be honored, will then go to the sacred clearing at dusk, accompanied by the courier, who is a eunuch, sworn to secrecy. It is considered very rude to refuse an invitation, unless the recipient is ill. In the clearing the man will disrobe, place the necklace around his neck, and kneel at the post. The attendant will secure him against the post on his knees and blindfold him. The man will therefore be unaware of who is servicing him, as it could be his own son. He will then rub the extract of a very irritating plant on his penis and scrotum, stroking his member until the irritation has the desired effect of producing a hard erection. The attendant then ties a cord tightly around the base, locking in the erection.

When the boy arrives at the place, the attendant disrobes the boy, has him get on hands and knees, and approach the man, facing the man for oral, and facing away from him and backing up to him for anal. Of course, for anal, the attendant also applies a natural plant lubricant to the distended and throbbing cock. The rest is as witnessed earlier. My guide pulled me close and whispered, that because of my physical size and shape, I would be desired by the boys as a potential semen donor. And, if my body size was any indication of my cock size, all the boys would want to take me to the clearing, multiple times.

The next day, while working on my notes, a native approaches, and without speaking, hands me a leather necklace. I am a little shocked, but not totally surprised. That evening, I go out the path to the clearing, and see the courier by the post. He has me strip completely, and get down into position. As described, I am bound, blindfolded, and prepared with the irritating extract. He strokes me, making me hard as steel. In a few moments, I hear some rustling, and the sounds of someone slowly approaching me from the front. Anticipating what is about to happen, I am very aroused, and my cock is standing up at a 45 degree angle. A thread of clear pre-cum streams down. The touch of a tongue on my oozing cockhead is electric, and my cock jumps in response. I then feel the tongue at the base of my cock, licking upward. I gasp as it slides over my knob. I’ve never wanted something so much. I groan loudly as my cock is consumed by the unseen boy’s hot, wet mouth. He takes me deeply, and starts to suck me with powerful oral movements. God, he is good. He continues his skillful art, unrelenting. Soon, I am there, and in a long deep groan that echoes through the forest (and probably back to the camp), I blast an avalanche of hot cum into the youth’s hungry mouth. He keeps sucking and swallowing, not wanting to lose a drop. Finally, my cock slips out, and I almost collapse, if it were not for the bindings. My legs are weak and quivering as the attendant loosens my restraints and helps me to stand up. When he removes the blindfold, the boy is gone. He gives me my clothes and goes with me back to camp. I try to hide my continuing erection as I pass by a few of the inhabitants and go to bed.

In the morning my guide greets me and tells me that word of my manly performance has spread through the camp, and there is considerable excitement among the young boys. Apparently there is a lottery system to select the next recipient. As soon as he informs me, the courier arrives, and hands me the leather necklace, with a wry smile. Everywhere I go that day, I am greeted with coy looks and smiles, as though they all know.

When evening comes, I once again make my way to the clearing, where the attendant awaits. I go through the same preparations as before as I await the next youth. I hear rustling, and someone approaching. I am startled by the touch of the attendants hands, applying a slippery cream to my distended cock. The rustling if much closer, and my cock touches what I suspect is the fleshly part of a boy’s ass. A small hand grips the base of my cock and guides my drooling knob to the special place. He backs up slowly until his tight sphincter yields and my cockhead penetrates his hot rectum. I gasp as he continues to push against me, and his tight ass consumes more and more of my length. I suspect that he has never had a cock of this size before, and it takes a while to adjust. But, he is up to the task and eventually, I am bottomed out, with my balls against his ass crack. He then begins to move, slowly at first, then increasing in speed and penetration. I moan with each wonderful thrust of his ass. His anal muscles are massaging me like nothing else, and I know I must be rubbing against his sensitive prostate. He can be quiet no longer, and he cries out using foreign words, but I know exactly what he is communicating. Both of us are approaching a climax, and he goes first, screaming in pleasure as his ass goes into uncontrollable spasms around my cock. It is too much for me, and I soon follow with a powerful, gut-wrenching orgasm, blasting hot Caucasian seed deep in his bowels. Once again, my loud, orgasmic groan carries through the forest, signaling the consummation. I am totally drained, once again.

This amazing and wonderful ritual repeats itself every night. Surprisingly, most of the boys want it in the ass, which thrills me to no end. I arrange to make a return trip in a few months.

Incubus Visitation

- I am fascinated by legends of erotic, spirit beings who come upon unsuspecting, sleeping people at night, male or female, and after rendering them powerless, mercilessly raping or sodomizing them. Though fascinated, I really never actually believed these things to be true. Anyway, I decided to go to over a long weekend a remote cabin at the edge of a swamp known for accounts of various ghost-like encounters. The cabin was rustic – no electricity, no running water, and no cell phone coverage. The nice thing is that I could enjoy being completely naked, indoors or out, and engaging in unlimited, kinky erotic play, vocally expressing my pleasure with no one to hear. I filled my ass with all sorts of dildos and prostate stimulators.

The first night was uneventful (other than my sensual play), and I was thinking even more that it was all hokey. The next day I went to the edge of the swamp and continued my sensual play, impaling myself on the phallus-shaped cypress knees, letting my load moans echo out through the swamp. During the second night, I awoke, realizing I was not alone, and feeling the weight of someone on top of me. I was face down on the bed, with my wrists spread and tied to the headboard posts, and a pillow under my hips. From what I could tell by touch, the being was hot, furry, and very muscular. I felt what I surmised was a rock hard and incredibly long sexual organ sliding up and back along my shaved ass furrow, lubricated by a thick, sticky sounding substance. It dawned on me what was about to happen. The slippery head pushed up against my puckered anal orifice, which yielded to the powerful invader. I moaned loudly as the beastly organ slid deeper and deeper into me until it bottomed out. The alien being began to thrust, slowly at first, then with animal passion, his powerful hips slamming up against my ass with each penetrating thrust. I was lost in erotic passion and pleasure, raising up my ass to meet his thrusts, feeling his hot breath on my neck. With an evil groan, he drove deep and began to spasm, releasing a flood of otherworldly seed into me, causing me to cum as well.

That’s the last I remember until morning. When I awoke, I thought it had surely all been a dream, until I noticed that my sore ass was still oozing cum, and saw rope burns on my wrists. I now believe.

Milked - I had discovered that my semen contained a very rare hormone that, when concentrated, purified, and taken, would contribute to one’s longevity. Obviously, such a chemical is extremely valuable, and potentially profitable. Despite medical records confidentiality, word of my test results leaked out to those who would stop at nothing to have this. I was subsequently kidnapped and held a virtual prisoner by the leader of a powerful drug cartel. Although I was well cared for, and lacked nothing physically, I was kept solely for semen extraction, and was subjected to once daily milking sessions.

In these I would be stripped naked, placed face down on my knees with legs spread and my chest resting on a low padded bench. I was then secured in place using Velcro straps. Over my hanging cock was slipped the receptical sleeve of what appeared to be a dairy milking machine. It was held in place by a cord back to a tight cock ring around the base of my cock and balls. Behind me, attached to an adjustable frame, was the probe of a bull electroejeculation unit (a contoured, elongated probe about 2-inches in diameter that is used to cause a bull to ejaculate for semen collection). The probe was lubricated, and slowly moved forward into my anus until I was fully impaled on it and it rested against my prostate and seminal vesicules, then it was locked in place. A video camera (with audio) was turned on, for the entertainment of anyone who wanted to witness the action on closed circuit TV.

The milking machine was turned on, and the sleeve started a reciprocating action on my cock as the vacuum was alternately applied and released. The electrical unit attached to the probe was energized, and the electrical pulses began to radiate through my groin as the intensity was gradually increased, bringing loud groans from me. The electrical pulses caused my anal and rectal muscles to go into uncontrollable spasm, and I pulled against the restraints. I was unable to resist my quickly growing arousal, even if I wanted to (which I didn’t). It only took a matter of 3 or 4 minutes for the equipment to accomplish its intended purpose with exquisite results, and I gave a final load moan as I went into a powerful, extended orgasm, filling the receptical with my sought-after liquid essence.

Often, after the equipment was removed, but while I was still strapped in place, the male attendant (who had won a wager among other attendants on how long it would take me to orgasm) would strip, lubricate his cock, and fuck me until he emptied his cum deep inside me, all captured, of course, on video. 

Tentacle Creature - While on a field research trip in a remote tropical setting, I am taken prisoner by a band of ordinarily friendly natives. I am stripped naked, and about dusk I am taken to a small clearing where I am tied at my wrists and ankles between two trees with legs spread and arms outstretched. A native holds a spider (Brazilian wandering spider) between my legs against my perineum just behind my ballsack. I cry out as I feel a wasp-like sting. After a few moments, my cock begins to grow into a throbbing, steel-hard erection that will last at least 4 hours (effect of spider bite).

The natives seat themselves around me in a circle a short distance away. I notice on the ground all about me there are a number of small, rounded, stump-like growths. As the first shadows of nightfall darken the area, the tops of the growths split open, and a light brown, eel-like tentacle slowly emerges from each one. They move slowly, pausing frequently as if to sniff the air for prey (me?). They have no eyes or facial features, but they do have what appears to be some kind of mouth. One type of tentacle has a toothless mouth that rhythmically opens and closes. Another type of tentacle has an opening in the tip through which a red, wet, probiscus-like tongue alternately emerges and retracts, much like the penile sheath on a dog. At its maximum extension, it projects about 8 inches.

The tentacles, having detected my presence, approach my helpless body, and encircle my legs, then my hips, chest, and neck. The tentacles with protruding tongues focus on my orifices, my mouth and particularly my vulnerable ass. I cry out as a muscular tongue burrows deep into my bowels, only to be joined by at least two others, all taking turns. My cries are quickly muffled by another tongued tentacle that slips inside my mouth. The tentacles with mouths search out anything to suck – toes, nipples, balls, and what appears to be their favorite organ – my rigid, throbbing cock. I am being mercilessly milked as I am repeatedly impaled and raped by the swirling mass of tentacles.

I hear cheers and whistles from the surrounding native audience. The beast seems to sense my impending orgasm, and reacts with increased activity and intensity. I choke out a guttural moan as I erupt and flood the cocksucking tentacle with my cum. The mouthed tentacle, now satiated, pulls off only too be replaced by another hungry tentacle. My cock remains hard, and the beast resumes its simultaneous sucking and anal and oral assault. Only after four orgasms in succession does the creature finally withdraw and leave me, totally drained and limp. The natives cut me down, and carry me back to a hut.

The Initiation - I am being inducted as a member of a phallic temple. The initiation ceremony is conducted by the high priest in the presence of the male membership. Everyone is nude, except the priest. Most all are in various stages of arousal. The air is thick with incense and the scent of male sexuality. As the initiate, I kneel before the most recently inducted member, take his hard cock in my mouth, and suck him until he offers up his drink offering, which I eagerly consume. I am then led to a sculpted nude figure of a large, masculine male positioned in the center of the room. The figure is seated with crossed legs, and a massive erect phallus. I am led to the figure, and its oversized organ is lubricated. Several members take me and raise me up, then slowly lower me onto the instrument of worship. I groan as I am impaled and filled with the object of lust. I am lowered until I am resting on the figure’s lap. My legs are wrapped around the back of its body and my ankles are bound together. My arms are wrapped around its neck and my wrists are likewise tied together. I am unable by design to lift myself off of the devilish, phallic rod. I am told that I must in an act of worship bring forth my cum offering to the male idol. I cannot touch myself. Rather, I must engage in sensual movements on the shaft, writhing and moaning as the hard rod drives against my prostate. I move my body on the object of my lust with wild abandon, giving myself over to the power of the image. My orgasm builds, then erupts in an explosion of cum, drenching myself and the male statue with the evidence of my devotion.

The Ranch I have stumbled onto a private, posted ranch by mistake, and have been taken captive by several ranch hands. They lead out a mature male horse, and place a canvas sling under his belly towards the rear. They take me, strip me naked, and force me into the sling face up with my head forward, and tighten the sling so I am pressed up against the horse’s lower belly. My wrists are tied and pulled up by a rope over the horse’s back. My spread legs are similarly tied up by the ankles. They begin to rub the horse’s cock with an ointment that soon makes the horse’s reproductive organ very erect. They lubricate the cock, and put the large flanged head up against my anus. I groan as they push the sling back and the massive cockhead enters my rectal cavity. They then tie another rope around the rear of the animal to the sides of the sling, so that I cannot slide forward and slip off of the cock.

They get on their horses, and lead my horse into a slow walk. The walking motion causes the sling to move forward and back in a rhythmic motion. As it does, I am repeatedly  impaled on the arms-long phallus, making me cry out in a combination of pain and pleasure. They speed up to a slow trot, turning the sling into an incredible, natural fucking machine. Soon, I am experiencing almost continuous anal orgasms. The horse eventually stops, neighs, and erupts inside me, filling me with what seems to be gallons of hot equine semen. They leave me impaled on the horse for a while as he grazes, finally releasing me.

The Prisoner - Because of a minor infraction, I have been sent to a prison camp in a developing country composed of predominantly black men. There is an unofficial structure to the prison population, and as long as the informal inmate leadership keeps things quiet, the guards don’t usually interfere.

When new prisoners are introduced, especially thin white prisoners like myself, the inmate leadership has a way to make sure they toe the line and stay in their place, so to speak. The method is similar to what was known as “buck breaking” during the slavery era. This was used to set an example for uncooperative male slaves. First, the victim is stripped naked, then his hands are tied and the victim is hoisted up by  the rope over a beam so he is suspended with feet hanging. He is gagged so his screams will not be noticed. He is then whipped with a leather whip, focusing of course on his genitals. Soon, his cock, balls, and ass are covered with red stripes. Next, he is taken down, laid face down on a bench (breaking bench) and bound in place, then mercilessly and repeatedly sodomized (barebacked) by hung black males selected by lot from the prison population. All this is done in view of the other prisoners.

He is then assigned to one of the inmate leaders (again selected by lot), to be used as his personal bed boy, and sometimes loaned out to others in return for special favors. Rarely a night goes by when he is not ravished by some large black male. Occasionally, he is released into the gang showers, where it becomes an all-comers orgy for the general prison population, with sperm-laden black cocks filling both his mouth and ass. His almost feminine cries incite their animal passions even more. Rarely, has so much cum been deposited into the openings of one individual in one session. As a white bed boy in a black prison, this is my lot in life for the duration of my stay, and I love it.

Special Farm - As a male with an almost entirely gay orientation, I have little use or desire for female pussy. The sight of it really does nothing for me, unlike the sight of a manly hard cock or ass. However, there is one exception. The pussy of a female horse (a mare) turns me on like no other. The thick labia surrounding a pink orifice, the clit that inverts itself when stimulated, the puckered anal orifice above (inviting in its own way) - all is exciting.

I locate a special remote farm (through a tip from one of my kinky male friends), and make arrangements for a discrete weekend visit. Understandably, they don’t advertise their special services, and the only way to learn about them is through referrals from trusted clients. Interspecies sex (bestiality) is still taboo, and illegal in most places, but my desire for sex with animals has been kindled, and I feel compelled to pursue it. I meet the owners, a backwoods looking couple in their late 50's. She is trim, with long graying hair. He is heavy and hairy, with a big pot belly and long gray beard. He wears a t-shirt and coveralls. Both have missing teeth. When I made the arrangements, there was nothing said about payment, and upon later inquiring, he simply responded that the compensation would be in other ways.

Before dinner, they show me the barn, which contains stalls for horses and donkeys. After dinner, as it is just getting dark, we return to the barn. They introduce me to a mature mare horse in one of the stalls. They tell me that they have her all cleaned up for me, and that if I would like to enjoy her company, I should disrobe and slowly approach her from her rear. The wife will stand at the head to comfort the horse and keep her at ease, while the guy will assist me with what to do. I feel a little self conscious, since I am the only one who is naked. He directs me to stimulate her vulva to get her ready to mate. I use my fingers, until she seems wet. I want to taste her, so I put my mouth over her pussy, licking her pussy lips and tonguing her hole. She smells and tastes like one would expect a horse to smell and taste.

By now my cock is hard and erect. He places a low step behind her, and directs me to step up. The height of the step is such that my cock is at the right level for entry. I wet my eager cock, place my drooling knob at the entrance, and slide inside. I am in heaven! Her pussy is like a hot, wet, velvet glove. I hold her tail to the side, and begin to thrust into her. I am transfixed by the sight of my pink cock disappearing into her dark recesses. It is not long before I am close, and I have to pause several times to keep from cumming prematurely. Finally, I can hold back no more and I groan aloud as I experience an explosive orgasm and release my human sperm inside her. After a while, I slowly withdraw, and a stream of cum runs down below her orifice. I lean forward and lick this up, then place my mouth over her pussy once again, this time to suck the rest of my cum from her.

Later that evening I find out what kind of “compensation” is expected. I spend the evening and into the night providing all manner of deviant sexual pleasures for them. She is the hairiest woman I have ever seen. I spend long periods devouring her pussy in her dense furry muff, while he drives his horse-sized cock into my willing ass. He is incredibly long-lasting, and takes me several times in several positions, turning me into his cum dump. During the night, when they need to piss, my mouth and throat serves as their personal toilet. The next day, I am told it will be a male horse (a stallion), but this time, I will be the recipient. Of course, the interspecies sex will once again be followed by another night of special compensation for the hosts.

The Serpent - I am sleeping, entertaining lustful thoughts of hot demon sex, which gives me a throbbing hard-on. Suddenly, I am in the presence of a being resembling a large red reptile, like a boa or python, with a length of at least 15 feet and as thick as my leg. It quickly encircles me, immobilizing me with its powerful coils. I realize resistance is useless, as it could easily crush me.

Its scaly cool skin slides over my erect cock, turning my fear into arousal. A coil wraps around behind my hips, and the tail portion rubs down my stomach against my cock. The tip of the tail slips down between my legs and turns upward into my anus. I groan as it burrows ever so deeply into my rectal orifice, moving with sensual motions. The snake’s cochlea opens, and slips down over my hard cock like a masturbation sleeve.

I cry out as I am taken by the being in a reptilian copulation ritual. It fucks my cock while it simultaneously fucks me in my ass. It positions its head directly in front of my face, and our eyes lock. I am mesmerized by the red, demonic glow. A thick, black reptile tongue emerges from its mouth and grazes my lips. The serpent moves to where our lips are touching, and I instinctively open my mouth. The powerful, slimy tongue invades my mouth and slides down my throat. I can only make guttural sounds in response to the multiple penetrations.

It dawns on me that I am mating with a demonic epiphany of that serpent of old, none other than Satan himself. I long to be united to Him. The serpent continues its irresistible motions, milking me until I yield up my holy semen in a powerful orgasm, consummating our union, a union of flesh and spirit. It withdraws, leaving me exhausted on the bed. Through this ritual I now belong to Him, totally and completely.

Masturbation as Worship Alone in my secret sanctuary, I strip naked, lie back, close my eyes, spread my legs, and begin to masturbate, praying aloud, summoning gay demons from the Abyss to descend upon me, to possess me, and fill me with cock lust and sodom lust. Every day, I engage in prolonged masturbation as an act of ritualistic worship to Satan, the God of cock, and His ministering spirits. I willingly offer my cock as an instrument of their service, to be used as they desire. My cock hardens and throbs for Satan, and for sacred union with his minions. Their demonic energy sweeps over me, causing me to groan and writhe uncontrollably. I repeat mantras of love and adoration for Satan. I lose control as I am filled with their presence. My pleadings turn to unintelligible ecstatic utterances, and I speak in demonic tongues. My orgasm builds and erupts in a flood of holy semen, which I produce as a thank offering to them. As I conclude my service of cock, I consume the offering, drawing upon its power to transform me into a devoted disciple of Satanic cock worship.

Sacred Rite - I kneel naked before the object of my desire, a large phallic dildo (with balls and suction cup, securing it in a vertical position on the floor). I crawl forward and squat over it, with its bulbous head at the entrance to my lubricated anus. I slowly lower myself, groaning aloud and calling for the demon spirits of Sodom to come upon me and join with me in the sacred rite of satanic sodomy. My sphincter yields, and I impale myself completely on the massive phallus.

I call for the spirits of Sodom, that ancient city of gay lust, to inhabit my anus, to use it as a portal to their sacred temple - in my soul. I entertain visions of being raped and sodomized by their hot demonic organs, and being filled with their satanic seed, of becoming pregnant with their demon offspring. I writhe slowly on the dildo, feeling their pleasure. My hips become a blur of motion, and as the anal pleasure overwhelms me (Satan is the author of sodomy, and as its creator, knows how to maximize its pleasure in his disciples). I convulse in a powerful anal orgasm, and my anal muscles go into uncontrollable spasm, which lasts for some time. My hot seed oozes forth, as the cock dildo is driven forcefully against my seminal vesicles, ejaculating their contents. I collapse as though my energy has been drained and taken.

Recovering, I begin to masturbate, using my cum as a lubricant. I need a full penile orgasm. Cock lust now fills me. I masturbate for the King of Sodom, as His devoted subject, impaled on His phallic symbol in the sacred rite. His energy flows through my cock, and it throbs for Him. I slowly and loudly groan the holy word “Soduuummmmeeeeee……” as my cock explodes in a geyser of cum and my anus once again grips the deeply embedded dildo with strong muscular spasms. I lick up my cum offering as I conclude the sacred rite. I thank the King and spirits of Sodom, and ease myself off of the phallus.

Sacred Retreat - I periodically go on a weekend retreat during nice weather to spend some time alone, communing with Satan and his demons. I choose a remote cabin in an area known for spirit activity. It is rustic, with no electricity or running water. It is also sufficiently remote that I don’t have to worry about being bothered by unwelcome human visitors. Upon arriving, and after getting settled in, I remove all my clothing (except for shoes), and lock it in the car trunk. I will enjoy the weekend in the nude. I explore the area and locate (by inward feeling) what I will use as my sacred place, a sanctuary where I will invoke Satan’s presence and that of His spirit demons. I prepare it with a small carpet pad, black candles, and Satan’s signet, and set up a makeshift altar. I adorn it with various receptacles (chalices) and a number of  large, phallic dildos of both human and animal (dog and horse). In the center, before the altar, I install a stub base in the ground on top of which I will afix various dildos. I will start with the human male dildo, but in subsequent sessions I will use the equine and canine dildos to help summon the demons of bestiality.

The daylight hours are spent making preparations. There are ceremonial cleansings (inside and out) that I must perform. There are times of meditation, writing and reciting prayers to Satan, the God of Cock, and King of Sodom.  There is frequent hydration using various energy drinks (no food this weekend). Of course, with the hydration, there is more frequent urination, all of which I consume. There are also male supplements, blue pills, and cock rings to enhance the experience.

As dusk approaches, I go to the sanctuary and light the candles. I kneel before the altar, raising my hands and offering up praise and adoration for Satan, invoking his presence, along with that of his demons of gay lust, sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia. I take a chalice from the altar, place it below my cock, and fill it with golden, salty fluid. I lift it up to Satan as a drink offering, and then drink it, savoring the bitter aftertaste. As I continue to pray, my cock begins to stir, and I sense a presence around me. I lubricate my ass , cock, and dildo, squat on my knees over the male dildo, and slowly lower myself onto it. I groan aloud as I am slowly impaled on the thick phallic symbol.

I begin to move on the dildo and stroke my now erect cock, praying to Satan and crying out for His filling. I engage in the sacred sacrament of sodomy, which opens me up for penetration and entry by Satan and His demons. As I sodomize myself on the male dildo, I invoke the name of Satan, the King of Sodom, pleading for Him and His demons to fill me and possess me. My prayers and pleadings continue, as I worship the satanic godhead - Satan, Lucifer, the Serpent, and the Dragon. I enter a trance-like state of altered consciousness, and I begin to shake uncontrollably. I am still praying, but I am no longer in control of my words.  I am speaking in tongues, the tongues of demons, as I worship the prince of demons. Inevitably, I reach a pinnacle of satanic pleasure and my body erupts in a whole-body orgasm, my anal muscles contracting in spasms around the embedded dildo and my cock spewing rope-like strands of holy semen into the chalice positioned in front of me.

As I slowly come back to reality, I slump down on the dildo. I raise the chalice to Satan, dedicating the cum-offering to Him, and then I consume my holy seed.  This is repeated in subsequent sessions using the animal dildos, in which I will worship Satan as the God of Bestiality, calling on Him to fill me with insatiable lust for animals, and to breed me with their semen as I offer praise to Him. I spend the entire weekend praising and glorifying Satan, and communing with His demons of gay lust, sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia.

Sacred Undergarments

Like several religions (the Mormons), I make use of sacred undergarments as part of my religious service of Satan. Unlike the plain white conservative top and shorts used by others, mine are erotic, silky, and skimpy. I have an assortment of tiny thongs, V-strings, bikinis, and pouches in various colors - pink, red, powder blue, and black. I regularly wear these under my clothing, sometimes with cockrings or supports to accentuate my genitals. The feel of the silky material, as little of it as there is, is very sensual and arousing. The undergarments remind me throughout the day of my commitment to Satan, and my desire to worship him in every way possible.

The Eunuch I am a young adolescent male from Palestine, handsome and reasonably educated. My homeland has just been overrun by soldiers from Chaldea (Babylon), and I have been taken back with them to serve as a slave, along with others. Because of my appearance and manner of speech, I am singled out by the slave traders in Babylon for special treatment. I will bring a high price at market, and may even find a place at the house of a high official, or possibly even the royal court. One thing is needed, though, to maximize my marketability.

I am taken aside to a small courtyard away from the general market, where I am stripped naked and placed back down on an inclined wooden table with my hips even with the lower edge. My legs are pulled widely apart and tightly secured with ropes to two posts. My body is lashed down so that I cannot move, and my arms are pulled above my head and similarly lashed. A rag is stuffed in my mouth. My genitals are fully exposed and vulnerable. A burley man takes a seat on a stool located between my legs. I strain against the restraints, anticipating what may be happening, but it is useless. I cannot move. I scream into the rag as I feel the searing pain, like I have never experienced before. I jerk uncontrollably against the ropes. The man makes an incision in my scrotum through which he quickly removes my testicles, severing and cauterizing the vascular tubes. My incision is bound up with a cloth, and I am released to recover.

Soon, my former steelhard erections and powerful ejaculations will be a thing of the past. My muscular frame will give way to a softer, fuller figure. My body will become smooth with little hair. My breasts, which are tight and firm, will develop somewhat like those of a woman. My former competitive nature will be gone. I may be employed in a position as a personal servant to a powerful official in an intimate role, taking care of his bathing, grooming, dressing, and elimination needs within his inner bed chamber. Of course, I will probably also be called upon to satisfy his sexual needs as well. [Wives were intended for procreation, not sexual pleasure, and young women could become pregnant. A master could have unlimited penetrative sex with his personal male slave without risk of pregnancy. It was expected of him, and his masculinity would be called into question if he didn’t.] He may even share me with his friends, for similar services. Such is the life of a young, attractive, feminized eunuch.

Phallometric Testing - I am being forced by a state corrections agency to undergo a phallometric exam to assess my interests in sexually deviant behavior, such as pedophilia (involving pre-pubescent children, age 10 and younger) and hebephilia (involving pubescent, early adolescent children, age 11 to 14). Phallometric response to male and female pedophilic and hebephilic sexual stimuli is a fairly strong predictor of sexual offense. Although the tests are generally inadmissible as evidence towards a criminal conviction, they are widely used in treatment of convicted sexual offenders, both in prison and following release under parole.

The test that I am going to be subjected to is known as the penile plethysmograph (PPG) procedure. This procedure measures slight changes in the size of one’s penis in response to certain types of visual and audible sexual stimuli. The equipment is so sensitive that it can measure minute changes in the penis, even if the patient is not aware of it. The stimulus category(ies) with the highest arousal response gives an indication of a person’s erotic preference(s). The test can also identify individuals who manifest high levels of arousal to inappropriate or deviant sexual activity, while displaying low levels of arousal to appropriate sexual activity. The test is highly accurate (95 percent) and very difficult to fake.

The test was originally used by military authorities in communist Czechoslovakia in the late 1950's to identify those military conscripts who were falsely declaring themselves to be gay to avoid the draft. The test had the ability to discriminate between heterosexual and homosexual conscripts. Unfortunately, the test has since been used to identify gay men in countries (mostly Muslin and some African) where homosexuality is illegal.

The most common PPG equipment involves the circumferential type, which measures changes in the girth or thickness of one’s penis using a thin, elastic band that incorporates a strain gauge. As the penis grows, the gauge will expand and record the change.

In preparation for the test, two curved discs will be secured to my fingertips using velcro strips . These will measure galvanic skin response. As a person become anxious, the skin sweats, increasing the galvanic (electric conducting) response. An elastic band will be placed around my chest to monitor breathing. These will be used in conjunction with the penile gauge to measure physiological responses and to expose attempts at faking. Of course, one must refrain from masturbating at least 24 hours before the test. Also, older males like me are usually given sildenafil (the active ingredient in Viagra), which significantly increases the magnitude of the phallic response where there may be erectile disfunction issues.  

For the test, I will be seated in a small, private room by myself. I will be required to remove all my clothing. The clinician will assist me in placing the band around my chest and gauge band on my penis midway between the base and tip. After some adjustments and initial data measurements by the clinician, the procedure will begin. The test takes about an hour to complete.

I will hear a recording of some 20 or so erotic stories or fantasies of different sexual encounters, in no particular order, told by a narrator. I will also be shown explicit pictures and video images, coordinated with the stories, which makes a very powerful combination. The idea is to picture myself as the person telling the story, and imagine what the narrator is seeing and feeling. The stories will cover a range of sexual scenarios, representing both heterosexual and homosexual acts, involving both genders, from small children to adults. I may hear occasional beeps (to see that I am paying attention), and be asked to push a button upon hearing the beep. A small camera is focused on my face to ensure I am not closing my eyes or looking away.

I am nervous, since I know that I will be found out. The test begins with both audio narrative and visual images. There are the usual heterosexual scenarios, and I make it through them OK. When it shifts to gay men, I feel myself reacting, and my cock begins to grow, no matter how I try to concentrate on other things. The narrative and photos and videos of men with erections engaging in gay sex are too compelling. I am sweating and breathing hard. I make it through the lesbian scenarios, but, I totally lose control when the scenes shift to cute young boys, naked and in seductive poses. With the Viagra enhancement, I become throbbing steel hard as I gaze at their smooth, nymph-like bodies, delicious little cocks, and inviting virgin asses. I realize that my professional, family-oriented, church-going image will be tarnished by the revelation of my strong homosexual and male pedophile sexual interests.

Results of PPG testing on non-offenders has shown some interesting results. For example, among men who self identify as being strongly homophobic, a large majority exhibit greater penile arousal to stimuli depicting gay sex than non-homophobic men. So, if you are male and claim strong opposition to anything gay, chances are you will experience arousal upon being exposed to explicit homosexual acts. In addition, a certain percentage of non-offending men exhibit some degree of arousal when exposed to sexually deviant stimuli (pedophilia or hebephilia).

The Crucifix - I have been taken captive by an extremist Islamic group, and have been condemned to death by crucifixion. Dating back millennia, it remains a cruel form of execution, and one of only a few with a sexual connotation, since it is carried out in public with the condemned person completely nude to bring about not only a painful death, but a shameful one as well. So, artist’s depictions showing loincloths on those being crucified are intended to protect the modesty of the viewers, rather to depict the actual situation. They were all completely naked, and it was completely public.

In some cases, the condemned person was secured to the crosspiece or post with rope, and in others with iron spikes. The Romans preferred iron spikes. Death was ultimately by asphyxiation, aggravated by shock and blood loss (from pre-crucifixion flogging or castration).

In order to be able to breathe adequately, the condemned had to push up on his feet to relieve the strain on his chest. This was only temporary, because the angle of his legs and the pain in his feet would only allow him to do so for a short period, before he had to resume a hanging position. So, the person would alternately push up, then hang down, in a motion known as “the dance of the cross.” All those crucified did this dance, at least as long as they had breath in them. I will undoubtedly do this dance.

Often, the condemned person’s feet were secured to the outsides of the post with knees slightly bent, so that his legs were open and his genitals were completely exposed, for additional embarrassment. The Islamists are aware of this, and I will be spread for maximum exposure, and for the benefit of the photographers videoing the event.

In order to prolong suffering and postpone death, a crude support known as a sedile was sometimes provided so that the person could obtain some relief from the strain of the awkward position. These were not intended to be comfortable, and were usually made of a wooden shaft or iron rod projecting out from the post to fit in the person’s crotch. An alternate design, known as a cornu (or horn), featured a straight or curved rod with a bulbous knob projecting up an angle from the post. The obvious intent of this was to penetrate the anus of the person, adding to his discomfort and shame. In Roman times, there was nothing more shameful than for an adult male to receive penetrative anal sex. The cornu added to the condemned’s shame. As he did his dance of the cross, he had no choice but to sodomize himself repeatedly on the rod. The motions of the knob in his rectum bearing on his prostate would often bring about an unintentional erection. The executioners carrying out the sentence were no doubt delighted when their design brought about such a result. I am sure that the Islamists, having researched this, will make this their goal.

Crucifixion, as with other forms of execution that result in asphyxiation such as hanging (see below), causes a post-mortem erection in a certain number of instances, known otherwise as a death erection or angel’s lust. This is probably one of the reasons it was conducted publicly in the nude. Some Renaissance artist’s depictions of Christ on the cross show him with an erection, although these were suppressed by the Roman Catholic Church, for obvious reasons. Depending on the crime, the person may be emasculated or castrated (for sexual crimes), or for especially heinous crimes, disemboweled. These are done while the victim is still very much alive, though death is hastened due to loss of blood. The Islamists apparently have this in mind, as I see various knives and curved hook blades nearby.

It is time, and I am stretched out onto the wooden beams. I scream with incredible, searing pain as the hammer drives the iron spikes through my wrists and ankles, securing me in place. I am lifted up, and the main post is dropped into the post hole. I drop onto the sedile, and its knob impales my ass. I soon begin the dance of the cross. The motion of the knob in my ass soon brings an erection. The video camera records it all. Eventually, they will take up the knife and the disembowling hook. I scream with what breath I have remaining as my erect penis and balls are sliced off, and my abdomen is ripped open, spilling my intestines to the ground. I pray for death to come quickly.

The Noose - I have been taken prisoner, convicted of crimes against the state, and sentenced to death by hanging. Hanging can be sexually arousing, especially when the condemned person is hanged in front of others in the nude, like I will be. Death obviously comes much more quickly than with crucifixion, but it still takes several minutes. The process can be prolonged by having the person bound and standing on a small stool with noose around his neck, but without his entire weight on the rope. During this time, he can be subjected to various punishments and sexual tortures –flogging, genital electroshock, or branding. Any movement to try and avoid or minimize the torture would likely cause him to fall off the stool, bringing about death by strangulation, which is the ultimate objective.

The other thing that makes hanging sexually arousing is that, in many cases involving suspension hanging (as opposed to long drop hanging), the hanged person ends up with a prominent erection, as described above for crucifixion. Spinal cord injuries or injuries that put pressure on the cerebellum usually produce priapism, a prolonged erection in the absence of stimulation. This is almost always the case for young, healthy males. So, artist’s depictions of hanged persons with full erections are not the thing of fantasy, but are reflections of reality. Furthermore, in a certain number of these cases, there may also be ejaculation of seminal fluid. In fact, in at least one novel, the protagonist (a sexual predator) selects young men for nude hanging just so he can experience sexual catharsis at the moment of his victim’s death, when he sucks the deceased victim’s post-mortem erection and extracts their seminal fluid while masturbating.

When the time comes, I am stripped naked, my hands are tied behind me, and I am blindfolded. I am made to stand on a stool, the rope noose is placed around my neck, and the slack is taken out. I cry out as I feel the burning lash of a bullwhip. It tears at my cock and balls. I instinctively want to bend down due to the pain, but I cannot without the noose tightening. My body jerks to try and avoid the pain, the stool tips, then falls. The noose tightens, and I cannot breathe. Blackness soon overtakes me. My erection rises, and my seminal fluid begins to flow. By then, I am unable to feel the mouth of the executioner sucking cum from my hard cock.

The Swamp I am turned on by anything that resembles a phallic image. One such thing involves the knees of cypress trees, the vertical woody projections of the roots that rise up from the ground around the trees, usually at the edge of or in a swampy area. I sometimes to go a particular swamp that features many cypress trees, and of course, cypress knees. I have picked out a secluded spot by the edge of the swamp, and found a narrow knee that projects about a foot above the moist ground. I have removed the scaly bark and have polished the phallic member using sandpapar, so that it is smooth and rounded.

When I enter my sacred spot, I strip naked, apply mosquito repellant, lubricate the knee, and kneel down, squatting over the bulbous, knobby head of the knee. I lower myself onto the projection, imagining it is a large cock.  I grown aloud as I slowly move down and my hungry ass consumes more and more of the natural dildo. I am finally bottomed out, and I raise my hands and begin to move, invoking the demon spirits of the swamp to fill me and possess me. I cry aloud as I sodomize myself on the cock-like shaft. Soon, I am lost in ecstatic pleasure, writhing on the pleasure rod. My cock is oozing with precum. I cry out the names of sexual demons, wanting to unite with them.

[Author’s Note: Demons are spirit beings, and unfortunately have no body. So, for them to experience sexual pleasure, they need a body to inhabit. That is why I invoke the demons of gay sex and sodomy to enter me and use my body as their abode, so as to share in the intense sexual pleasures that I feel.]

My moment of consummation nears, and suddenly my sacred semen boils up and erupts in a hands-free ejaculation. My orgasmic groan echoes out through the swamp. My cock continues to jerk as my orgasmic spasms cause my sphincter muscles to grip the hard root deep inside me.

I slowly slide off the knee, then lean down and lick my cum off of the leaves on the ground, then suck and lick my anal secretions off of the slick wooden shaft. I am glad that I have given the demons gay pleasures once again, and I dismiss them back to the swamp. I dress and depart, having appeased the demons of the swamp for the time being.

Worshiping Baal-Peor - I am a disciple of Baal-Peor, an ancient Moabite deity. The word Baal means lord, and the word Peor comes from a root pa’ar, meaning opening. So, he is lord of the opening or hole. In this case, the primary opening is the human anal or rectal opening, and worship before his image in his temple often involved defecation. Everything that is excreted from the body (semen, urine, feces) before him is symbolically sacred, and therefore was not to be spilled or wasted, but rather consumed in ritual worship. The sexual practices are intended to arouse Baal to action on behalf of his adherents.

I will go to a sacred place, typically a small secluded clearing in a grove, where I will strip naked and impale myself on a thick phallic rod embedded in the ground in the center of the grove. This has is sometimes referred to as an Asherah pole, used in worship of Asherah, another  Canaanite deity. I move seductively on the pole as I raise my hands to Baal-Peor, calling out and invoking the presence of his demon spirits to participate in worship with me. I will make and consume three offerings to him.

I slide off the pole, and squat down over a bowl on the ground. After a few moments of incantations, I defecate a small piece of feces into the bowl. I raise the bowl up to Baal, and then empty the bowl into my mouth, quickly consuming its contents. I then put the bowl down for my second offering and kneel before it. After more incantations, I fill the bowl with my hot, bitter, golden liquid. This I also raise to Baal, before drinking all its contents. I put the bowl back down, in preparation for my third offering.  

[Author’s Note: Assuming you are healthy, you won’t get sick off of your own fecal matter. The practice is referred to as coprophagia. Roughly 18 % of the male population has tried this, including a majority of those who have tried bestiality. Similarly, urine from a healthy individual is sterile, and will not harm you.]

I kneel before the bowl and begin to masturbate, using my left hand. With my right hand I insert a wetted finger into my hole and touch my special place. I offer incantations praising Baal as my lord, and lord of my hole. I rededicate my hole to him. My hand moves in conjunction with my finger, increasing my pleasure. Soon, I cry aloud as I ejaculate holy semen into the bowl, my final offering, as my hole spasms in contractions around my finger. This too I raise to my lips and drink it all down.

At the conclusion of the rite, I remove my finger from my hole, and lick it clean. I dress and depart the grove until the next worship is required.

[thewookieruns]

Yeehawgust Day 21: Wildlife

(Today is connected to a screengrab I posted here!)

It had been a long several weeks on the island of Far Harbor for Captain Erich Richardson. He and Nick Valentine had been on the island on a case to find a young missing girl. While they had yet to find the young girl, both knew that she was alive. Several eyewitnesses had seen the girl, and neither had a reason to doubt the testimonies. But, both had been away from home for too long. After much discussion, Erich and Nick had decided to go home. This was a twin-pronged decision; both needed home time and a chance to resupply from their own stock.

Erich stepped off of the boat onto the dock located on Spectacle Island. He could see his homestead off in the distance. Adjusting his backpack, he began trudging towards the small farm. He decided to stop by the armory and put most of his weapons away. Soon he was at the door of the bunker that housed his workshops. With a tired sigh, Erich keyed in the security code to open the door. He stepped into the cool and dark bunker and removed his backpack, dropping it on the floor. He then flipped on the light.

An earth shaking roar greeted him, causing Erich to look up in shock. Inside his bunker was a deathclaw, and he had woken up the beast. Erich stumbled backwards out of the bunker, drawing his revolver out of habit and aiming it at the mutated lizard.

“Codsworth!” he shouted as he fumbled backwards as the deathclaw charged, trying to get out of the bunker. “Why is there a deathclaw greeting me at the door of my home?!”

“That is a very good question, sir. I certainly didn’t let it in!” came the response from the Mr. Handy butler as he came floating out of the house in a hurry.

Very quickly, Erich put the pieces together. “SHAUN!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “You get your butt out here right now!”

Shaun came running out of the house, Piper right on his heels. “Oh hey dad! You met Mister Cuddlesworth! Sorry I didn’t warn you about him! I didn’t know you were going to be home!”

Piper responded before Erich could. “Oh, you are so grounded, young man!” Her tone was a combination of impressed, frustrated, and defeated.

“We can worry about that later, Pipes. First, I wanna know how Shaun managed to lure a deathclaw to the island without it killing him or anyone else on the island.” Erich responded, his voice a little shaky from trying to recover from his initial shock.

“That was easy!” Shaun replied with a cheery tone. “I’ve been working on something I call a beta-wave transmitter! Simply put, it emits a signal that pacifies any creature within a certain radius. I know that the mole rats keep getting into the garden and that mirelurks keep coming up the beach. My idea was to make something that would make sure their not hostile. My only problem is that I can’t seem to find anything that can keep the emitters powered. They suck battery life way too quickly.” he finished, his tone dejected as he finished.

“That’s really impressive, Shaun. Now how do we get Mister Cuddlesworth out of my bunker?” Erich asked.

After the father and son plugged new batteries into the emitters located at the corners of the bunker, the deathclaw was finally lulled into a peaceful enough state that Erich, Codsworth, Shaun, and several of the automatons could coax it out of the bunker and load it onto a raft set adrift on the ocean. After they loaded the creature onto the raft, the Richardson family stood on the shore and watched.

“Well… I think I’ve had enough fun for one day.” Piper stated, standing behind her husband and resting her head on his back as the hulking deathclaw slowly drifted out of sight.

Erich let out a short laugh as he reached out and ruffled Shaun’s hair. “Hey kiddo… try keeping us informed about any more science projects?”

“Sure thing dad. So… am I still grounded?”

Both parents laughed. “Yes.” They said in unison.

[skylightsofmylife]

All of them you friggin Lovely lady ily

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

Kitchen counter if I could ever find a counter the right height. Gonna be a requirement for our house babe, good counter fucking height. 

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Hella good cause it was with you!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

Harley Quinn

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

Rain......

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

Probably public restrooms and kitchens

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

My partner had been going down on me for like an hour and a half and their mouth was starting to get sore/tired and it was my first time. They told me they were starting to get sore and asked me if I was close and I had to say, “I didn’t know if it was polite to cum or not.” Then proceeded to have trouble cumming because I’d edged myself so long and was really nervous/embarrassed. 

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

One of my exes fingers.... they were just so long and I couldn’t stop imagining all the new places they could reach. 

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

Other. Pulling the other person’s t-shirt over their head so it blindfolds and binds them. 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

Push me against a wall or do that low sexy whisper in my ear telling me what you want to do to me. 

10: Top or bottom?

Switch

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

We were about to send people home so we could have sex but then it turned into a birthday orgy. 

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

One can be enough but I like a lot of foreplay in that case and it has to be one of those really strong O’s that leaves you breathless and just wanting to curl up into them and sleep. Not necessary but definitely appreciated. 

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Idk, both my parents have seen my sex toys so whatevs. I guess me. 

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

Little butter cause she was big butter. 

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

1) The textures! Oral gives so many more textures than anything else. The hardness of teeth, the dexterity of a soft tongue, the pressure of the lips/suction. 

2) That moment when they stop for a second and you have your hand on the back of their head. Your eyes meet and then you push them back into you. 

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

Probably the time an ex stripped me down to just underwear in front of guests not really with anyones’ permission. 

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yes, was less flavorful than I thought it would be. Mostly just salty with a slight tang I guess but ever so slight. 

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Yes. For me there is zero chance of pregnancy and I trust my long-term committed partners as I always have people get tested first. 

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

7th grade English teacher. She gave off strong plant filled house, lesbian vibes and was adorably quirky. 

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Maybe whipped cream? 

21: How big is too big:

Vaginally around 7 inches. Anally I have not really found a limit yet. Seems to be if I’m in the mood for it it’s gonna fit. 

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

Gun play

23: Biggest turn on:

See 9.... same question basically. 

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

1) Spot slightly to the left of my bellybutton (feels so good I have to be extremely comfortable with the person because too much and sex has to stop I cramp so bad). 

2) To the left and right of the vulva, where my inseam meets my pelvis. 

3) Neck

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

Never? 

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

Anal in a shower no lube.... yeah. 

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

When I start wanting to strangle someone from the noise. 

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

I’ve never cum from oral before, I can’t  believe you did that to me. 

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

I’m more of a trimmed natural V line of the genitals. It’s fun to have a little something to hold onto down there. 

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

Oh definitely. It’s not always about you. Sometimes it’s about your partner. 

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

Put their hand under my shirt

33: What’s your favorite part of your body:

Right now my vagina.

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

Scratch me up. 

35: Love (>,

..........what? 

36: What do you wear to bed?

T-shirt and panties. 

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

Someone did my first time for me at like 12 or 13. 

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

If you want the answer look at my twitter. Shameless plug: https://twitter.com/SkylightsofLife

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

It’s been a hot minute. When I was 20? Somewhere around there. 

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

I have and would again.  

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

I have and would again. 

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Nothing? 

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

Have and would again. It’s such the exhibitionist dream. 

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

Probs not. Maybe some up the skirt action with the GF masturbating for me if we could hide it well enough. 

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

Desire by Meg Myers. Yes, I am a freak. 

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Rain

47: Most attractive celebrity?

Chyler Leigh

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Yes, but it has to be actual lesbian targeted porn. Not that crap for cis men. 

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

About three months old. 

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

Probably. Not that it matters. I’ve already “leaked” my own nudes. 

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

A dirty dish being in the room while my partner tries to do anything. 

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

Yes. Quite fond of the ones on my legs. Not to fond of the ones on my upper butt. Nobody has ever had a problem with them and if they did I wouldn’t keep them around long for shaming something so natural. 

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

FUCK YES. It’s just so much fun. Not really sure why I just know it’s one of my favorite things to do. 

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

Please. Just all of them. 

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

I’m perfectly okay with doing it but I want to know first so I can make it special and we are going to talk about it to make sure no lines are crossed. Just want the person to have a good first experience. 

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Anything sticky. When you’re trying to make things slide easy sticky is the enemy. 

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

Nope. She sees it all. She can see anything I do I don’t care. We trust each other completely. It’s why we work so well together in my opinion. 

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Yes. Too many to list. Basic gist things that go vvvvbbbbbb, clamps, vaginal and anal penetratives, and bondage stuffs. 

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

Sure. Have at it baby. I shit blog most of the time anyways but people seem to like it. 

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

No. They need to do whatever makes them happy. I don’t get a decision in that. I’m here to supplement their happiness not control it. 

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Pornstar. I can’t do casual sex. 

62: Do you watch porn?

Yes, we already covered this. Who wrote these redundant questions? 

63: How small is too small?

Everybody has fingers and can use a dildo so nothing. 

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Hell yes. For so many things. Being gay, being trans, my love of fluid play. 

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

The lovely Jessica. Hell yes. I kissed her as she was leaving to get on a plan knowing I wouldn’t see her for months. I cried lots. 

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

On a non-workday yes. I need mine for work. 

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Haven’t tried yet but in the right clothes probably. Don’t want something that’s gonna rub too hard. 

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Nah. I can get down and dirty with the best of them. 

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Probably not. Solely for the reason it’s the one thing I can’t do to myself so it feels more special when someone else does it and it’s the one thing I don’t get into a routine of so every experience with it is different and new. 

70: Booty or Boobs?

Can I not have both??? Boobs more though just cause they are so good to lay on. 

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Firehouse, cause everyone wants to slide down the pole in them. ;) I’m dumb. Ignore me. 

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

Yeppers. 

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Nope. That shit sucks and too many people have done it to me for me to ever put someone else through that pain. 

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

Luna, cause I’m as pale as the moon. 

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

Not my parents but an exes parents. Was actually an orgy....

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

Burn it. 

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

Holy crap that’s huge. I love it. 

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

As a person who’s had both I don’t feel the need to answer this. 

Ps, fuck you Jess. That’s a lot of freaking questions. You owe me a night of you topping as punishment.