#and maybe also cause of her own experiences as a single parent

[gloomy-hag]

new lnd today god bless

[tender-rosiey]

How do you think sukuna would act with a baby girl?? The same as his son? Maybe a bit more soft since he reminds him of reader?

troublesome — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: i have something else in store for geto <3

sukuna never planned on becoming a parent, but then you became pregnant. he had two choices: kill the kid from now or let you give birth to it.

he spent a good couple of days deciding on what to do, until he finally made his mind and headed to your room, swiftly. there you were in all your glory, eyes snapping to your husband the moment he entered.

you smiled, standing up, “hey, sukuna.” then walked to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

he, however, said nothing and simply kept staring you down then he said a simple phrase, “the kid.”

your eyes widened, your thoughts jumbled, and your nerves were all over the place. still, you manage to get out a response, “what about it?”

he stayed silent, and it drove you over the edge. you needed him to say something—anything. will he let you have it, or will he kill it? he was never fond of kids, always killed them first in his raids. will your own child with him bear the same fate as the others he had slaughtered and even eaten?

is this a joke from the universe? you married the king of curses, and, therefore, your punishment is never getting to experience the joy of having kids? but even if he does end up choosing wanting to kill it, how will he—

“I will let you keep it.”

you never thought a simple sentence would induce so much happiness in you. you cup his face and  start showering him in kisses, and you unceasingly thank him, “thank you, sukuna! thank you so much!”

he grunts, hand resting on your waist, “just don’t cause me trouble, and it better be a boy.” he takes hold of your chin and makes you lock eyes with him, “I don’t want a whiny, slimy little girl.”

and because the world loves him so much, he was indeed graced with a whiny, slimy little girl.

the moment the woman announced that it’s a girl, your face paled, and your husband’s frown could’ve never been deeper. his eyes traced every action that happened from the cleaning of the baby to the little girl being nestled cozily in your arms.

she starts calming down when she feels the warmth of your skin against her own. slowly, her breathing evens out, and she falls into a deep slumber.

the servants rush out of the room, leaving you, your husband, and your newborn daughter.

you don’t know what to do: do you speak first or do you wait for him to do it? you keep searching his face for any positive emotion, something that would give you hope and make you forget about his sharp scowl.

he puts a hand out and orders, “hand her to me.”

your heart fell to your stomach. there’s nothing you could do. whatever he decided on was what will happen. you desperately wanted to hold her for a bit longer and to feel her comforting weight in your arms.

though, your husband got impatient, eyes sharply looking you in the eyes, and he glowered, “y/n.”

despite your heart screaming and trying to resist ever letting him touch a single hair on your baby, you shakily put her in his hand. she starts huffing, puffing, and squirming in his hold. fearing the worst, you squeezed your eyes shut.

you simply won’t be able to take witnessing your daughter’s slaughter with your very own eyes.

you expect to hear a slash, a little thud, but you’re met with nothing, just a groan from your husband as he mutters, “she is small.”

you blink owlishly then stare at him. he is slowly raising and lowering the hand—an attempt to rock her maybe—that has your baby in it. then, he situates her against his chest.

he looks up to you and states, “she is also ugly.”

frowning, you retort, “that’s because of your genes.”

your husband quirks an eyebrow, “you’re balantly insulting me even after I spared it?”

“her.”

“same difference.”

sukuna shuffles until he is seated beside you and silently pulls you into his embrace.

you just took notice of how he is trying to avoid touching her with his nails and how his hold on her is rather gentle. the little girl lets out a small sigh then snuggles into his chest. her dad copies her with a sigh of his own then he grunts, “not a single word.”

a small giddy giggle escapes you, and you nuzzle into his chest in turn. he squeezes you lightly, before scoffing, “or a sound.”

later on that day, after you were transferred into the master bedroom along with your daughter, you’re left to rest in the expansive bed with your daughter napping in the crib right under the window.

you thought the light might give her some sort of comfort—call it a mother’s instinct. you wanted her to grow up in the light, not to be sheltered and hidden in shadows. who knows if these shadows will devour whole or not.

but you will try your best to provide her with a normal life.

as you start to drift off to sleep, you take note of a large figure standing in front of the window. he is blocking the light from sky—at least the one from the window above her crib. quickly, you are able to define its features and identify that it’s—thank god—your husband.

he has this sort of contemplating look on his face, a solemn look, maybe a bit troubled too. he keeps staring at the sleeping baby as she takes small and slow breaths.

she is fragile, he knows. he also knows that a flick of his finger will end her right then and there.

but he finds his hand only capable of gently caressing her cheek, and a wave of shock is sent through him when his daughter leans toward his touch. his daughter. he heaves a sigh and a frown is etched onto his face.

this is going to be a troublesome journey.

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[r3starttt]

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME | 02

fic M.list | read this or DNI

cw: mentions of masturbation

After the very boring and award familiar dinner you had, without Abby, your whole family reunited at the inside of the house.

You found yourself lying on a large couch as your cousins watches something in the huge tv, almost at full volume. Your mom was talking with your aunt about whatever, they could talk for hours.

Your dad was busy serving everyone something to drink, some small snack and having small talk with everyone making sure they felt comfortable. Paying attention and taking care of everything and everyone but you.

Until everyone suddenly remembered you existed. But you’re way too stubborn to please them so easily, besides you were already feeling your heart in your brain, palpitating loudly enough to make your whole body vibrate. Abby, without being there had caused you such discomfort.

And you weren’t in the mood for anything but sleeping. Yet attention is always welcomed because you adore people noticing you, deep inside you that’s something you crave.

You were took out of your trance by your dads voice right next to your ear, his voice cooed your name, followed by his hands on your shoulders, maybe not the best thing to do after Abby did the same thing just some hours ago. It felt like a ghost, she wasn’t there but you could feel her and see her and hear her everywhere.

“Play something” he asked, patting your shoulders before walking away, next to your mom and aunt sitting next to you on separate couches of course, to not bother you more. “non mi va” you replied, hiding your face on the palm of your hand and crossing your legs more if that was even possible as a desperate attempt to pretend you weren’t there.

“perché non ti va? mhm?” your mom asked, hearing her felt like an insult “perché non mi va” you answered again, feeling your words coming out of your mouth as bullets piercing your own skin. You’ve never experienced such a migraine. “You’re spoiling everyone’s fun”

Her words sank on you, if you could describe it, physically there was something fuzzy in your throat running down your stomach, she was right. So you stood up, walking towards the piano as your family clapped at you, sarcastically.

They made you play the piano.

-

Naturally next day you were exhausted, feeling a headache hangover and overthinking every single time you’ve spoke to Abby. Why was she so present in your mind?

You had nothing planned for today, just stay at home and wait for the day to end. And you really hoped, needed that Abby wasn’t here today.

She kept haunting you, making you feel and think and experience physical and mental pain. That’s the most accurate word, it was discomfort mixed with pain and annoyance. But also empathy because she was probably trying her best and felt the same way about you.

And she was the adult here, the one that should know what to do, where and when put the limits. She should be smarter than you, like all your mom’s students. Otherwise she would be here.

So she probably knew about you and how you were feeling, and as well knew about her and how she was feeling. And it kept bothering you how she was being so childish about this, how she didn’t let you read her mind like others did.

How here brows were always furrowed and her fat lips were naturally pouting, always looking so annoyed and serious and like she was keeping a secret. How she purposely leaned on you to grab some shit from the table every time she ate with you and your parents and how she would disappear all day after that, not making a sound whenever she arrived.

It bothered you how she ran her hands through her hair whenever it wasn’t made in a braid, how her collar looked so tentative whenever you noticed it, how she’d let her underwear everywhere in the bathroom you shared and how she’d be so normal, changing with the door or windows fully open, like you weren’t there.

It bothered you how inviting she looked and how much you craved her, how impossible she seemed to get but how easy she became whenever she’s around you. It bothered you how good it felt to stare.

It bothered you to feel something ache in between your legs and breasts whenever you saw her. And it was extremely hurtful how you could never satiate it.

Before you realized your hand was already over your cunt, making small circles above your clit, teasing yourself by the pure thought of her.

And how could you not when she looked delicious under the sun, lightening her blonde her, and the breeze, warmly making the front stands of her hair gracefully dance over her cheeks, how could you not when the sweat made her usually white blouses stick to her back, when her muscles were always fully displayed.

Three knocks, less than one second each, and the door was already opened.

Your hand moved away as fast as it could, grabbing the first thing it could catch. A book, small, you’ve never seen it before but somehow it was next to your bed. Maybe it was something you grabbed on a sleepy night where you refused to let the day end.

“Hey” “hey” your voices overlapped, she walked inside your room as you were still readjusting yourself on your bed, trying to look natural, trying to hide your chest practically trying to jump out of your body, shifting your eyes to keep them fixated in your book.

She was wearing a white tank top -a black bra under- practically transparent. And some shorts, she was planning on go swimming based on the little you’ve get to know her.

Her arms rested on the old metal footboard, and maybe it was just you but you felt like her eyes could look trough you, like she could perceive how annoying yet desired her presence was for you at this moment. “How come you’re not down with everyone else by the river?”

You, on the other hand, we’re resting on your elbows. Back almost pressed against the mattress and legs bended, knees pointing to the window in front of you and eyes moving quickly side to side on every verse in the book, trying to ignore her body, which unconsciously had you drooling some seconds ago. You hummed, thinking about an answer.

“Not feeling good t’day…have an allergy” Abby’s voice overlapped with you, purposely interrupting your lame excuse “Yeah me too, maybe we have the same one” you furrowed before realizing, confused and conflicted by her words. Why couldn’t she just ignore you?

Why was she always so smart?

“Why don’t you and I go swimming?” your hands positioned the book down, facing the mattress without closing it properly, quickly folding the edge of the sheet you were currently acting to read. Smart movement that she would hopefully notice as a non verbally response to her sudden invitation.

“Right now?” She nodded, pressing her lips together and grabbing you by the arm that wasn’t supporting your body from falling on the bed. “Do we have to go right now?” Abby sighed, annoyed by how childish you were being right now. She did notice, she knew you more than you imagine, but as the older one between you both she tried her best to make things work, and it was painfully annoying that you refused to let her do the job.

“I’ll go get changed, meet you downstairs”

-

Todays hot was bearable, relaxing even. So after fulfill her whim and swim with her you two grew exhausted of it, and probably each other’s presence as well, ending up resting each in a different way.

You, on a lounger and her on the side of the small pool the cottage had on its large garden. The only thing heard was the water running down the fountain, along the pool, and the usual chirp of birds accompanied by the trees moving.

You were falling asleep, the warmth of the sun embracing your body comfortably couldn’t cause less. And since she didn’t make any sound the moment you closed your eyes you obliviously assumed she was in your same situation. Until her voice was hear, asking for your attention by practically screaming your name. “You sleeping?” “I was”

“Listen to this drivel, tell me what y’ think” “No, wait” you quickly responded, still half asleep. As your back cracked gracefully for you, her laugh got to your ears, was she making fun of you? bothering you on purpose?

You stood up, walking towards her. Which she ignored by speaking before you even got close as you intended, to actually hear her and pay attention to whatever she planned on saying.

“For the early Greeks, Heidegger contends, this underlying hiddenness is constitutive of the way beings are, no only in relation to themselves but also in relation to other entities generally. In other words, they do construe hiddenness merely or primarily in terms of entities’ relations to human beings”

You didn’t understand nor hear any word she just mentioned, still stretching your body and sitting next to her as she spoke, placing your legs in the water and making small circles with your feet, completely amused by the way the water looked. You find it relaxing how transparent and brilliant the water looks any time for he day, how it lightens your skin, how it moves.

“Does that make any sense to you? Doesn’t make any sense to me” you shifter your eyes to look at her, her muscled arms flexed to the sides of her body, sighing as she grabbed the sheet with some force, wrinkling it’s corners. “I don’t think it makes any sense to your dad either” “Maybe it did when you wrote it”

You extender your arm to grab the sheet and take a proper look of whatever she wrote, making her put some effort on it as a small revenge of her waking you up. “That’s the kindest thing anybody has said to me in months” you grabbed the sheet, being interrupted by her voice again “kind?” a ‘yep’ brushed her lips, almost too quiet for you to hear.

Before you could read any of it, even glance at the piece of paper your hands contained, she threw herself on the pool, purposely just to get you wet again, and probably to ruin the stupid text that sheet had. Which she failed on achieving since you moved it away the moment you noticed her body rolling to the side.

-

She’d be dancing something in between 9 and 12 minutes based on how much each singed has played so far lasted. Yes, you counted.

Today was the day in the week you went out with your friends, being interrupted by Abby’s presence you ended coming to a small party in town, with her as well. Marzia was there, not letting go of you since you arrived.

Which was extremely annoying considering the fact you weren’t paying attention to her at all by how Abby’s hands were placing on a woman’s ass, non ashamed. They were adults and the place was safe, she, they, could do whatever. And if it wasn’t her then it would probably pass ignored by you. But it didn’t and it’s the most disgusting thing your eyes have seen her do so far.

Marisa’s body felt somehow heavy, and her words were like random letters being pronounced right to your ear, loud and not understandable at all.

Your friends, which where sitting next to you as Marzia was on your lap, were drunk already, making fun of Abby and the woman who had been desperate to feel her touch since Abby became the center of attention to practically everyone present.

You had a cigarette in hand, pressing your free hand on the sides of Marzia’s waist at every move Abby made. Bitting the inside of your lips and cheeks whenever the cig had to leave your mouth or replacing it by some beer.

You’d ended dancing as well when the fifth song appeared. Marzia right next to Abby who seemed unbothered by the two of you eye fucking each other right in front of her. Because as much as you craved Abby, Marzia was there first, and she’d been waiting for you longer than anyone else has waited.

You knew what she craved, and also knew you couldn’t give it to her, but there was no harm in trying your best to cheat both you and her. It’s better to try and fail than do nothing and regret.

You just had to find the courage to reach out and touch, she would say yes.

-

“I just heard from the people in Sirmione, they say they’ve come up with something so, going there today, yeah?” Your mom murmured to you during breakfast. Abby was sitting next to you so she heard as well.

Not in your plans but not something you could refuse to do, it wouldn’t take long, It never did. Marzia would be waiting for you till night, and even if it did took long then she won’t leave, if she’s been holding herself for years already, what’s some minutes more?

“Please, stay silent” your mom said, giving the first bite to her food “Silent as in ‘she has too many opinions’ or silent as in ‘just not telling anybody what amazing thing you’ve dug up’” that was Abby’s voice, vibrating in your ears as how deep and loud she was whenever she spoke to your parents.

-

You were all day outside, with both your mom and Abby. You ended up swimming till night and god how things were so perfect that day you forgot about the plans you've made with Marzia.

You didn't even bother to went and look for her later that night, if she was there she would tell you how immature you are with this, if she wasn't there then this was it.

And to be honest, after actually spending a decent evening with abby you didn't feel like going trough her shit today. Or tomorrow, or in a week until she won't mad at you anymore.

[dreamii-krybaby]

Behold my essay on why plp shouldn’t be sleeping on the ship involving Doll’s parents.

Ok ok but like- ISTG doll’s folks are driving me crazy HNNNGNGNFJF

(Btw watch of all if this get absolutely ripped to pieces by future canon)

Even we have very few info of Yeva, in the pictures she has appeared she looks distressed, paranoid, anxious and doesn’t seem to have the same social skills and relaxed vibes as Nori. She gives me the impression she was recluse, shy even or standoff-ish

For all we know she could have a drastic change of character after the core collapse.

What am saying girlie definitely developed all kinds of fucked up issues.

ok but like the fact that Yeva decided to stay and live with and make a family with her parter got me thinking

Like girl witnessed and lived THE HORRORS and if my theory is correct, she ALSO got momentarily possessed by the AS causing the Site-48 “incident”. (Which I theorize she created a massive black hole on the site similar to how the AS controlling Uzi’s hand did it on the elevator in EP6)

Her first meeting with her-now-husband was literally traumatizing and was probably very awkward (group photo after the core colapse in EP4)

They saw something, and it wasn’t good news.

But after that, like- how did it go down?

Bc I speculate Yeva’s husband knows a bit more surrounding the AS:

-like I mentioned before, his overall expression in the group picture shown in EP4 post core collapse alongside Yeva’s expression seems to imply they saw or witnessed smth horrifying around the camp 98.7 which left them scarred

-the fact that Tessa’s quote in EP6 implies the idea that he is also infected (Either he may be a runaway experiment or he wasn’t necessarily involved with CFL and somehow had the AS, or maybe the quote is a red herring)

“She reckons the humans did something to her folks down there, gave them a sickness she inherited”.

Like, the idea that her partner saw past the horrors, the AS, the shady things Yeva was involved, and just- decided to be a couple, and saw yeva…as an individual, not a danger, not a monster, not a sinner, not some lab rat, just, her, a sentient being capable of feeling just as he is.

He saw her as “Yeva”, not as “048”, not someone whose just her “sickness”

Like the fact that YEVA was also to look past her traumas and her knowledge of the danger of the AS to live and become her partner’s wife

Just the idea of them going, “you know what? I want you as my partner, live in a place that we can call home, and raise our own kid”

Its just- *screams*

also Yeva would actually be introduced to the concept of home, not a house, a home

SHE FINALLY HAD SOMETHING SHE COULD CALL A HOME

AND SHE ACTUALLY HAD A PERSON WHERE SHE COULD PROBABLY FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND (we don’t know exactly how Nori’s and Yeva’s relationship went, they could have gone through drastic changes)

SHE COULD FINALLY LIVE, NOT SURVIVE, SHE COULD JUST- LIVE, NOT HAVING FIGHT FOR HER SURVIVAL

CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE THE FACT THESE TWO DESPITE THE HORRORS, DESPITE THE AS, DESPITE EVERYTHING THEY FELL FOR EACHOTHER AND THEY GOT TO THE POINT THEY WANTED A KID?!?!? BE A FAMILY?!?!? HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE TOGETHER!??!?

AND WHEN THEY WENT OUTSIDE BEFORE DEATH THEY DECIDED TO GO TOGETHER!?!?!? (If my theory that they died outside is true)

THEY PROBABLY KNEW THE DANGER BUT THEY WENT “we’re gonna do this together” THEY COULD HAVE LOWER THE CHANCES OF RISK AND DEAL WITH THE UPCOMING FUCKED UP SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT THEY WENT TOGETHER

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT ISNT LOVE

(Imagine if it’s later revealed that they are actually a super fucked up couple- or just created a family for any other reason but wasn’t out of sentiment)

Me when I realize my favorite ship that is actually canon has barely any content or fan-content:

I want to claim myself as CEO of this goddam ship if it blows up in the fandom after future canon info.

Bc bro I shipped them when there wasn’t a single edit of them and when there was like 1 or maybe even 0 fanfics of them on AO3. Bro there wasn’t even fanart of them.

Bro I have doodles of them, created AU’s involving them, I have made moodboards, stimboards, have made HCs of them, made fan desings and plan to make fanart of them.

I am so normal about them I swear-

[karenandhenwilson]

Some thoughts about Karen's early life

We learn in "Tomorrow" that Karen was woken up by her parents early in the morning of June 18, 1983, to watch Sally Ride become the first American woman who had traveled to space. We also know that Hen was born in 1978 or 1979, so I'll assume from these two information that Karen is a little older than Hen. Because I can't really imagine a four- or five-year-old being woken up for that event and then for her to really clearly remember it to the exact time she was woken up. So, let's say Karen was anything between six and eight when Sally Ride flew into space for the first time.

We also know from conversations in the flashback scenes of "Tomorrow" that one of the major hurdles in canon for Karen to become an astronaut herself was DADT. I've done a little bit of research and NASA seems to claim that their members weren't subject to DADT because they weren't a military organization (though many of their astronauts are military or former military) but I guess we all know that what such an organization says now and what was reality back then aren't necessarily the same thing. And also, DADT was only one of many, many policies used to discriminate against the queer community. But that research aside, the show tells us very pointedly that DADT is the cause Karen didn't follow her childhood dream and I'll just accept that as canon.

On June 18, 1983, young Karen decided to become an astronaut. And she was still holding on to that dream 27 years later when she met Hen in 2010 despite knowing that her chances were bad. We have also seen Karen to be very determined to hold onto her goals and work for them no matter how hard it is at other times. So, I'll assume that Karen worked toward the goal of becoming an astronaut ever since that much too early morning in 1983.

Let's say Karen was seven years old that summer. Then she would have finished high school in 1993 or 1994 )if I've managed to figure out the US school system). This means all through the years of Karen planning for the time after school--of her planning how to approach becoming an astronaut--she watched the debate that eventually led to DADT.

So, after growing up in the 80 she then sees this debate while figuring out herself and sees how much it will impact her dream and her life going forward. So, I think Karen struggled for a long time with liking girls. I think she might have told herself that, no, she really didn't like Mary as anything other than a friend no matter how much she liked how Mary smelled and how much Karen's heart beat faster every time Mary laughed. And then a couple of guys asked her out to go to the prom with them, and she was flattered, of course. But couldn't quite decide if to go with James, who was nice and gentle and wouldn't be complicated if she told him there wouldn't be anything more than dancing. Or maybe she should go with Leon, who was nice enough, too, and who had been Mary's first and she had said he was super gentle and careful and maybe people were right when they said that you just needed to experience it to know how much you liked it.

I'm not sure with whom Karen would have gone to prom. But I think she kept the pretense up for some time, even convincing herself of it for a time. Enough to eventually make some intimate experiences with guys, though maybe not Leon after prom.

But for the most part, I think Karen hid behind her studies for a long, long time. Kept telling her family she didn't have time for a boyfriend or even to date. That her place as one of the few female students in physics was so exhausting on the social front that she just needed to concentrate on her classes (and who knows how many of the other girls were Black, to top it off).

Eventually, Karen understood her own desires and longings, but she had her dream to hold onto, right? And there was this nasty rule of DADT that would prevent her from realizing that dream if she was outed. So far, there had been no single woman to risk that for. (Maybe Mary would have been worth risking it for, but she was going to college on the other side of the country and was engaged now.)

But life changes your plans without you even noticing that it's happening. So at one point, something happened to make Karen re-evaluate her stance. Maybe she met this woman who just rocked her world and convinced her nothing was worth it hiding who she was, who she loved. Or something happened that made her re-think her big dream at least in a small part. Probably both of those things are true in parts.

When Karen met Hen she was clearly comfortable with being a lesbian. She talks about past relationships, so I think she had been dating extensively for a while and had also had several long-term relationships. And she had accepted that being open about being a lesbian meant she wouldn't get into the space program.

But by the time she met Hen, there was already talk about DADT being repelled. So the hope was still there. And Karen had done a lot of work in those 15-plus years since she had started college. I'm convinced she is the kind of woman who was very dedicated to seeking out any opportunity to further her goal. Going the extra length whenever it was possible, never letting a chance to make connections or gain experiences go by.

Karen had decided long at that being happy was more important to her than going to space, though. And she had found happiness with Hen, no matter their recent fight, when she was invited to Houston.  So when she sat in that airport she was already debating blowing it all off and going back to Hen, building that family Hen had offered her now even if Karen might feel very uncomfortable about the child's biological mother. (Semi-unpopular opinion ahead:) And then Howie called and behaved like the biggest asshole to ever exist--which nearly got him un-invited to their wedding later on because Karen will always remind him all he did was cause pain and nothing else--and Karen decided that making sure Hen was okay was more important than whatever chance she might have in Houston.

And so Karen came home to Hen and agreed to build a family. And when DADT was repealed after all not that much later, it barely stung to know that now might have been her chance. Because she had already found something else much more precious she had never dared to even dream about before.

Being an astronaut had just not been in the stars for her. But what had been in the stars for her with Hen and Denny and hopefully soon Mara was so much bigger and more important than space could have ever given her.

[raindropren]

I think i should make a hermitcraft camp au

AS A PERSON WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO A CAMP, IT WILL BE INFLUENCED BY MY BUNK'D OBSESSION WHEN I WAS like 9, CAMP CAMP, AND MY OWN INSANITY ALONE!

Everyone will be like 14-17 and it will be VERY Found Family!!!! U can take the hermits being family to eachother from my COLD DEAD HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xisuma is the Volunteer camp counselor, His parents said it'd be good to be out in nature and would be good for him!! Real Life Experience!! and they dragged him into the role. He did not want to deal with kids(elementary schoolers can be mean...) but he was pleasantly surprised to find people more his age(That being 15 at the time) He took to it well but he is slowly going insane, do not mistake that.

The camp itself is just, alittle illegal, like a camp counselor started at 15 and i don't think he should of been without adult supervision but whatever!

by the second year of camp most of the hermits had already joined the camp! I have few ideas but here's some

Joe actually did want to go to the camp! He wanted to be a camp counselor but didn't really get the opportunity to sign up so now he helps out Xisuma whenever he can! A quarter threw the first year He dragged Cleo out of the new arrivals bus and introduced her to their little friend group! Cleo really didn't wanna be there but she also really didn't like going through the summer without Joe, so now she's here. in the wilderness :]

Did i mention that the camp is a summer camp, cause!!!

S U M M E R!!

ya.

Bdubs was super enthusiastic about the nature part, he wanted to look at cool moss!!!!(me too, me too) and then forgot about the activities part of camp and for a solid month Etho had to drag him out of bed just to do something other then sleep. They'd find him sleeping in trees. I think he'd be an amazing tree climber. He'd only wake up for the forest related activities and has skipped every single swimming activity since he got there. surprisingly it's a 50/50 on if he shows up to a craft activity. one time they had a special animal-care activity and when Etho mentioned the horses the people had brought ONCE and bdubs jumped up and sprinted to them. He did not leave those horses side until they left and after that they got a stable in the camp and bdubs and etho take cake of the horses everyday together! I like them :)

He and Etho share a bunk!!!! They're in the same cabin and after the horse thing they made a little shrine and their other cabin mates... are scared.

Mumbo joined at the same time as Cleo(On the same arrival bus and everything) and was very much the youngest(like just turned 14? maybe) He was the bbabbbyyy... and also exploded something on his first day! :D

Tango, Impulse, and Zed disappeared one night and came back the next day properly unhinged and wouldn't tell a single soul what they'd been up to but after that they're seen together more then not Lol

And the next year they came back speaking of Impulses friend Skizz who they were trying to convince the parents of to send them to camp aswell! It did not work until the 3rd year! Jump for joy, they did!

Grian joined, not wanting to be there at all, having a terrible time and then well

He caused Chaos, left for a week, then came back worse and decided he'd rather be there, super concerning to the others but he didn't speak a peep about it and then went back to causing(now slightly less destructive) chaos! He and Mumbo become extremely good friends, they bribed mumbo's bunk-mate to switch cabins with grian and now they're bunk-mates! it caused confusion for a week and then became the new normal! lol. I think he'd have a digital camera and he'd take pictures of the others, but also birds, so many birds. he'd rush to take a picture everytime he saw a duck, which was everyday, because the camp was RIGHT NEXT TO A RIVER!!! ya.

He would take care of the very few chicken's, and he got the others to help make the coop better because parts of it were rusting and breaking and he was scared that the chickens were gonna get hurt.

I think he'd be a only new arrival for the rest of that summer(so like he arrived like, 2 months into the second summer? how long is summer again? IDK) With hermits that join in season 5 probably arriving during the first month of summer? lets say? ya.

The 3rd summer had two new arrivals which was Pearl and Gem!! They arrived on the same bus and definitely had known eachother beforehand(aka Pearl went "I'm going to this camp next summer, u should come too :3" and Gem said "well okay i guess")

I think Grian and Pearl are siblings(you couldn't take that headcanon away if u tried LOL) and Pearl arriving was wweeirdddd cause grian had missed them arriving and then everytime he saw pearl he did a double take like 'did, did I just see who i thought I saw??????'

aka Grian did NOT know their Parents were sending Pearl to this Camp aswell teehe

I think Joel would arrive and be tackled by Grian, they knooww eachootherr aswell!!! yiippeee, I also think Joel and Etho should know eachother aswell, like they'd been to the same school and stuff lol.

Skizz Arrives and Impulse promptly gives him the biggest hug because He missed his best friend!!!!!!! it's been months!!!! they're dramatic about it.

I really have no other idea's, i wish i did!!!!

either way!! i think they have a camp group chat that is constantly getting chattered in even when it isn't summer lolsie

this was for fun, maybe i'll write more info i've thought about for this au, down again at some point, but ya!!! Fun!!! Yiippeee

[sweettoothvn]

how would the LI behave around the mc if they were a single parent?

Andre is more than accommodating for your needs and helping with your kids. He himself not only really loves kids, has a ton of younger cousins, but he also helps at a summer camp across the lake from his own ranch.

Casey is closer to a fun older brother than parent material considering he is only 19 and doesn't have much experience with kids. Anyways he might be a little bit of a pushover and just gives the kid whatever they want, not having the heart to say no. He doesn't mind that you're a single parent and really admires how far you've come though.

Chrys was raised by her dad for 10 years so she knows how hard it is for single parents. Her dad had to raise 5 kids after his wife passed after all. Her chaotic nature dials down by 80% and she is careful- maybe a bit too careful. She wants to help in anyway she can. She wonders how the hell Andre manages to work so well with kids.

David doesn't really care for kids at the moment. Good on you for being a single parent and getting this far...! He doesn't know how to help you though and he DEFINITELY doesn't have the patience for kids. He's pretty awkward when the kids are around but depending on their behavior he might calm down. If the kid is more reserved and quiet, a bookworm type like himself then he'll be calm. If the kid is really energetic and loud he just freezes and tries not to freak out. Now if the kid is pretty artistic, specifically musically inclined... he might lean more towards them. Especially if they like the violin.

Eddie literally has 5 younger kid siblings so he's excited to see you have kids of your own. He also wants to have his own big family so he may or may not adopt your child (metaphorically) before you're even dating. Despite his reckless nature he's pretty careful with the kids and won't hesitate to tell them 'no' when need be. He can sew and crochet so don't be surprised if your kid(s) end up with new handmade toys. They're free though so why worry?

Kieran has very little experience with kids. He might copy the kid's vibes since he doesn't really know what to do. He doesn't mind that you're a single parent- nor does he really think much of it cause he doesn't actually understand what that's like. He might fuck up a bit with trying to help your kid. For example accidentally teaching them curses in other languages. He's probably not the best choice for a babysitter out of the main 8.

Noble practically had to help raise his younger siblings so he relates to you somewhat. He really appreciates it if you let him help especially since he adores children. Similar to Eddie and Andre he wants to have a big family too. Whatever you need or want, he will get it for you. Of course he was going to do that prior to learning about you being a single parent- but it's just a bit more special now. Don't be surprised by how his gifts have multiplied since he keeps finding things that remind him of not only you but your kid(s) too.

Zach has no idea what to do with kids and he would love to help you- so long as you just don't bring them to his place. His place is not kid friendly WHATSOEVER. He tries really hard to help you- he, like Kieran, doesn't know what it's like but he can at least empathize. He might come across as too pushy while trying to help but he means well. Plus he's nervous about it- not because you're a single parent but more so nervous cause he wants to help and impress you.

[hydrangeyes]

I ramble about headcanons while reading the artbook:

Here are my notes::

So idk if peeps talk about it but timeline wise I'm going to assume brozone's last concert had to be before the bergen fully captured the trolls.

I'm mainly basing this on the art work from the artbook, as well as how it would make sense how easily the older brothers could just walk off and live their own lives. Given previously with the whole bergen town surrounding the tree, and the only actual safe way out had to be a tunnel they were digging potentially not even ready yet.

So I would assume say a month at least after they left the bergen took over. Which could also play into all of them thinking the other was dead/captured and simply couldn't risk coming back even if they wanted too.

John dory returning when he had more experience and got "floyd's" letter. But for the most part genuinely was fine on his own. Maybe wanting to at least open communications back with his family.

Clay having found his way to Viv (I REFUSE to entertain the thought that he was with them when escaping just didn't contact branch or grandma)

I don't think floyd was even CLOSE to the tree to know. I imagine he did do a solo career but everything was so big and trolls being cared about wasn't till later. Which plays into that image of him playing alone in some alley on mount rageous.

Bruce traveled and maybe sent out a letter that never got received and found himself starting a new life and having kids.

I DIDN'T KNOW BRIDGET AND KING GRISTLE WERE IN THEIR MID TO LATE 20S HUUUHHH

I thought they were at MOST early 20s. Huh. Makes me wonder about the life spans of bergen.

I like to think outside bergen long since learned they don't have to eat trolls to be happy.

I need the extra of Viv consoling Poppy. Cause I need that.

I also need poppy and branch talking about sense of being left by siblings. How branch is still upset but dammit he's just as happy to be around them and singing with them again. How poppy just found a sibling who filled that unknown/forgotten side of her and having to potentially give a family member up. How now she understands branches hesitant to be involved with John dory at the start, etc etc.

I need more solo songs from the brothers. I need those scenes where they're bonding again. (Idk if you can tell but I want a TV series for the movie like the others).

I NEED backstop of the brother's parents and just WHERE are they if we're going with the before the bergen's theory.

I think it's funny before floyd and Branch were born. That Bruce was the middle child to probably dory's older brother and Clay's younger brother shenanigans. And then Clay becomes a middle child himself but not the peace maker kind lmao.

I need to see and hear that talk the sisters have with king peppy. Cause that whole side scene where he feels guilty was NOT enough.

I have this idea that what positivity was to branch in movie 1 is what being silly is to clay. Like it's not that they hate it but being taken serious and not always that one thing is a nice breath of fresh air. And maybe Viv had been someone who was able to welcome both sides for clay.

Branch is a poet idc what anyone says. He doesn't write anything bit he has his moments.

Also Poppy being a Clay stan idc idc idc

I LOVE SEEING MORE TYPES OF TROLLS. especially interesting when they don't seem like the typical singing ones!

Mount outrageous being a place without a single adult is... I have several questions on that. Whether that stayed in the final movie or not....

Concepts of the bergens remind me of old og Shrek designs.

Floyd not just being the more emotionally mature one is nice, he's also generally intelligent and clever/witty (from the artbook). Also, his style being confirmed emo is funny to me. Like, yeah, the hair is obvious, but now it gives me the pass to draw him wearing SO many cool/interesting outfits.

Creek concepts have me feeling annoyed at the fact that yeah... I can see it.

MOVING ON-

[rbbess110]

WIP intro: The Ring. A comedy in five acts.

Genre: romantic comedy, satire, Christmas comedy

Themes and tropes: fake dating, queer romance, family drama, miscommunication, sibling rivalry

Progress/Target: first draft, 95/~150 pages (see extra notes) More under cut!

Summary:

Sylwester is trying to be the perfect son for once in his life. After lots of experimenting, tons of fails and multiple wrong turns, he finally came out on top. With a stable career and a wonderful girl at his side, he actually might not seem like a disappointment next to his “wonderful” and “always beloved” older brother. Especially when he announces that he’ll be the first to marry out of his siblings! Because he definitely will – he already has a ring, and he is going to propose on Christmas Eve. It’s not like he’s been fighting with his fiancee-to-be for the past couple of weeks. Not at all… Patryk is trying so hard to be the perfect son he's always been. But expectations are changing as he’s growing older, and sometimes it feels like he isn’t good enough anymore. So when Sylwester’s mistake makes his parents think that he’s about to propose to his best friend- Maybe it’s not so bad at all? At least he won’t have to explain why he’s still single. He feels bad about getting Mikolaj all tangled up in this, but it’s not like it’ll change anything… Right? Klaudia has never tried to be the perfect daughter. And fairly, she isn’t planning on changing that. What she is planning on doing though, is watching her idiot brothers make fools of themselves trying to make their parents happy, and enjoy the chaos that unravels. For all she knows, Christmas this year is about to be a mess, but it also will be really fun.

In other words: the Kozlowski family gets back together for Christmas, and it turns out to be messier than anyone expects. With quite cliché romantic comedy shenanigans on one hand, on the other it’s a satire commentary of the expectations many families still set for their children, and the priorities they make them uphold.

Characters:

Patryk – 25 y.o., finishing his master’s degree in Data Science while working 9-to-5 as a programmer. Gifted kid in his childhood and teenage years, now a workaholic surviving only thanks to black coffee.

Sylwester – 23 y.o., working as a party planner and climbing up the ladder surprisingly fast for his young age. Looking forward to stop being second place in the family. Considered to be a bit of a “showman”, but who doesn’t like a tiny bit of drama here and there?

Klaudia – 17 y.o., high school student. The youngest and still considered to be the family’s baby, despite not being that small anymore. Well-known for causing chaos.

Anka (Anna) – 24 y.o., a journalist, known for her sharp tongue both in her writing and personal life. Sylwester’s current girlfriend and soon-to-be fiancee.

Mikolaj – 25 y.o., in the same boat as Patryk career-wise; Patryk’s best friend and co-worker. Too nice for his own good.

Mr. and Mrs. Kozlowski – the parents of Patryk, Sylwester and Klaudia. Can’t wait to have grandkids. They don’t have a favourite child, of course not, but have you heard that Patryk got promoted lately? He’s really amazing, isn’t he?

Extra notes: I’m writing it in a format of a play, in verse, so I’m finding pages a better way to track my progress than word count. I know it’s technically less specific, but word count when writing in verse doesn’t really… work the same way it does with prose, and it’s more confusing than anything. For reference, “The Ring” currently is at 10.5k words, but it’s 95 pages, with three out of five acts pretty much already written. So tracking progress in pages it is, thahah-

Also, this is my first project in a while that takes place in Poland. It makes sense, because I’m Polish, and this is satire, and I’m making a point by ridiculing certain social norms- it would be weird to try to place this in an environment I’m not personally familiar with, or ridicule social norms in a society I don’t personally know? Anyway hopefully all the painfully Polish names won’t hurt your eyes, thaha

[void-writing]

Okay I’m back on my Mummies nonsense and I’m thinking about the untapped potential of Amanda Carnovan and wanting to bite something.

Like, I get that this is a late 90s Y7 show so of course the normal adults aren’t necessarily going to be involved very much given who the target audience is but we could have had SUCH FUN DYNAMICS between Amanda—technically mother of the pharaoh and also a certified Egypt nerd—and the Mummies. The Mummies, who would be an ancient civilization researcher’s WET DREAM because they’d be the ULTIMATE primary sources to their era of ancient Egyptian history. I may be projecting a bit, but having people who LIVED IN a civilization three thousand years ago AND who would be able to verbally talk about their experiences (biases and all) would be so cool.

Plus, I think Amanda and the Mummies would have gotten along so well. Like, they canonically respect her despite never really interacting with her purely on account of what Presley says about her.

I can see Amanda talking parenting and leadership with Ja-Kal and them confiding their doubts and hardships to each other that they wouldn’t talk about with anyone else. Like, for example, Amanda is a single mother working a full time job, and Ja-Kal struggled with balancing his responsibilities as the prince's guard with his duties as a father and husband. I think both of them would have a lot to talk about regarding work-life balance. Plus, Ja-Kal in the show was edging very close to "dad who stepped up" territory. I'm not saying that Ja-Kal and Amanda would get a romantic subplot (Amanda doesn't seem to be interested in looking for a boyfriend and Ja-Kal isn't either) but I feel like they'd become platonic co-parents in the right circumstances.

I can see Amanda just absorbing every historical and arcane lesson Rath gives and chiming in with her own knowledge. They’d butt heads and argue over specific facts for hours, both being entirely too stubborn at times to give the other an inch, but at the end of it all they’d do it again because they’re both nerds and love the pain of their research.

I can see Amanda and Nefer-Tina becoming gal pals, maybe at first being friends solely because they’re the only women in the group but ultimately enjoying each other’s company; Amanda affirming that Nefer-Tina isn’t wrong for being fascinated by modern advances while Nefer-Tina gets Amanda to break out of her shell a bit by dragging her along to experience the modern world with her (I can see circumstances conspiring to get them stealing a car together and I think I’m right about it).

I can see Amanda and Armon bonding over cooking and exchanging recipes from their respective cultures, even if they may have to substitute a few key ingredients for Armon’s recipes (I doubt Amanda would be able to get her hands on hippo steak, sadly).

Plus! I also want to see Amanda’s reaction to hearing that 1) her baby boy is the reincarnation of a murdered Egyptian prince from three thousand years ago (and one she made a full exhibit about and probably rambled to Presley about for months), and 2) the man who killed him the first time is still around in present day trying to not only do that AGAIN, but use her son’s soul to attain immortality for generally nefarious purposes.

What I’m saying is I wish we could have seen Amanda’s reaction to the Mummy Nonsense because she would have been a WELL of interesting character interactions and also likely caused Scarab headaches personally by beating him up for trying to repeatedly murder her son.

And don’t even get me STARTED on Walter! He was presented to the audience as Presley’s best friend but we hardly see him at all! We could have had Walter as the best friend sidekick! The non-chosen character stuck in the chosen’s orbit! He could have been a Toby Domzalsky or a Connie Maheswaran before those characters even EXISTED! We could have had Walter struggling with pressure from the Mummies to be as dogged and dedicated in his defense of Presley as they are because they see Walter as Presley’s last line of defense, someone who can protect Presley where they can't. After all, the Mummies can’t follow Presley into school and have to be careful about going out in public on account of their whole undead situation. It could be really interesting to see Walter get continuously pressured by these adults who literally died in the line of duty to follow in their footsteps, even if it meant meeting the same fate as them. It would have been interesting to see the Mummies be struck with the realization that they made themselves forget that Walter is a kid too and someone very dear to Presley, and that they were wrong to try and pressure him into becoming a warrior like them. It would have been interesting to see them try to atone for the way they treated Walter as another soldier for their cause. It would have been interesting to see how Walter buckled under the pressure the Mummies heaped on him and even more so if Scarab tried to exploit it because in his darkest moment, Walter would have just wanted all of this Mummy Nonsense to STOP and for everything to go back to how it was before (even though that’s impossible) and almost costing Presley his life because of it.

And Elaine! How cool would it have been if she didn’t have her memories conveniently wiped and she just elbowed her way into the Mummies’ and Presley’s crazy world of gods and monsters out of rabid interest in getting the truth, even if she has to learn a lesson about how not all truths are created equal and sometimes lies and secrets are made and kept to protect the innocent! We could have had an episode where Elaine gathered proof of the Mummies and Presley’s involvement with them and was SECONDS away from publishing before she’s confronted with the reality that Presley keeps his involvement with the Mummies under wraps (ba dum tss) because the anonymity surrounding his modern identity is the only thing keeping an immortality obsessed madman from turning up on his doorstep or in his class to LITERALLY KILL HIM AND EAT HIS SOUL. We could have had her be the reason Scarab learns Presley’s modern identity and her having to atone for putting him in MORE danger.

Ugh. There's just so much wasted potential and it makes me sad.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 26

All right, let's put this to bed.

There's a lot of text in this episode, and it opens with a "recap" of the previous episode, claiming that we're witnessing the realization of the Human Instrumentality Project, which is apparently the unification of all human minds into a single merged consciousness. But Episodes 25 and 26 only depict the process through a single individual, Shinji, because "there is not enough time to show the entire process". Well whose fault is that?

Tell you what, let's take this at face value for a minute. I refused to accept that this is really what the HIP was supposed to be, because the information is coming to me in a pair of episodes that appear to be set in Shinji's imagination. At best, it could only be what Shinji thinks the Human Instrumentality Project could be, but I doubt he's even heard of it.

But let's accept that it's true, and right after Shinji killed the last Angel, Gendo put into motion his master plan, which was apparently some application of the Evas' ability to synchronize the thoughts of different life forms. He flips some switch, and now all humans everywhere are suddenly linked together. Shinji experiences this and is horrified, because he's still coming to terms with killing the last Angel, on top of all the other issues he's been wrestling with his whole life.

I guess it makes a measure of sense, because this would be Gendo's only hope of seeing his dead wife again. I think she was accidentally absorbed into the Eva she was working on, and they tried to restore her body like they did with Shinji several episodes ago, but it didn't work. So maybe Gendo figures if everyone merges together the same way, they'll all be reunited, and Yui can be part of that communion, even if she can't get her body back.

At least, that's a plausible motivation for him to want to do all of this. Gendo's never really fit into the world, and maybe he sees this as the only way to find peace. This way, he doesn't have to worry about being offputting and cold, because we're all one, and the differences between us no longer exist. But while Gendo finds that desirable, Shinji finds it horrifying.

Yeah, this is starting to make a little more sense. In this scenario, Shinji and Asuka would find it difficult to adjust, because they've each placed so much of their perceived self-worth into their careers as Eva pilots. Shinji hates himself a little less when he's piloting the Eva, and Asuka feels like she has an identity of her own when she's piloting the Eva. But in this unified consciousness, that distinctiveness is stripped away. They don't to be with their parents because they've put so much effort into getting away from their parents, and now this situation forces them to confront all the things they used to easily avoid.

I guess maybe Rei has an easier time adjusting to this status quo, since she was already a sort of collective organism, and didn't have much self-identity in the first place.

So in his panic, Shinji closed his mind off from the others. He wished for a haven apart from everything that caused him pain, but that just means he's alone and apart from the rest of the world. The others--or perhaps his imaginings of the others-- convince him that this is useless. Shinji worries about being liked and appreciated and understood, and defines himself by how others perceive him, but ultimately one's self-perception isn't all that different from the perception other's have of you.

To illustrate this, they show Shinji floating in a white void. It's unlimited freedom, because there are no obstacles to impede him. He can literally go anywhere he wants in any direction, but there's also nothing there, so there's no point to any of it, and nowhere to go and nothing to do.

But draw a line on the space, and now he has a floor. It gives him a reference point. Now he can walk around and there's a ground and a sky. There's finally a sense of place, but it costs him a degree of freedom.

By extension, the additional boundaries imposed by others is what shapes and defines the self. In a world all by himself, Shinji is completely undefined. Surrounded by nothing, he may as well be nothing, because there's no point of reference.

And that's a salient point, because it calls back to Kaworu's final words before Shinji killed him in Episode 24. According to Kaworu, only one life form would survive their conflict--the Angels or the Humans. But if the Angels prevailed, then what would remain? Kaworu was the last one, so with humanity's destruction, he would inherit an empty world. That's why he was happy for Shinji to win, because at least his victory could actually mean something. And while Shinji was upset about killing him, I think he also respected what Kaworu was trying to say. At least, I think he gets it now, in this empty world, where he's getting a taste of the fate Kaworu wanted to avoid.

So Shinji finally imagines something else, and wakes up in a different world, one where he and Asuka and Rei are ordinary schoolchildren. He even does the thing where he collides into the new girl (Rei) on their way to school, and Rei's got the toast in her mouth and everything. Misato's their teacher, and it's all a little too idyllic, but that's not the point.

The point is that Shinji can imagine himself in any kind of reality he chooses, and still retain his sense of self in such a world. He doesn't pilot an Eva in that world he just envisioned, and he was still himself. Asuka was still Asuka. So the idea that his identity is bound up in piloting an Eva is false. He doesn't need a particular job to matter. He just needs other people around him to define who and what he is.

So that seems to resolve part of Shinji's trouble, but there's still a catch: He hates himself, and thinks everyone around him hates him as well. But that's just a matter of perspective. He hates himself because he chooses to hate himself, and so he chooses to believe himself worthy of hatred, so he assumes everyone else hates him too.

And slowly, Shinji starts to consider loving himself, and wanting to be himself, and wanting to exist in the wider world. As he does, the cracks start to form in the barrier he's created around himself, and...

He's here. Wherever here is. I'm going to stick with this premise and say that he's finally accepting his place in this collective consciousness that his father has put together. That's why everyone is here to meet him, and why they're all congratulating him for figuring it out. Perhaps everyone in this new merger has had to go through a similar process to make it to this stage, and so they understand what Shinji just went through to make it this far.

Of course, Kaji's supposed to be dead, so I can't quite explain why he would be here, unless his existence in this world is just the memories others had of him. Or maybe he didn't die after all. We never saw a body.

And Pen-Pen isn't human, so I don't know how he got in. Maybe there was a Penguin Instrumentality Project that we didn't know about.

I could just be blowing smoke. My gut tells me this episode is a train wreck, like Episode 25. I'm having to do a lot of heavy lifting to make this fit into some coherent narrative. It would have helped if Gendo had discussed what HIP was before Episode 24, so we could recognize any of this as what he had been aspiring to achieve.

But, it's appealing to try to take this literally. To say "That's not just Shinji imagining his parents in some dream, that's actually his parents, reunited in an artificial heaven of their own design. Their family was broken in the past, but in this reality, they can heal." At least that's a compelling notion, and a somewhat satisfactory ending to the series.

I don't know that I buy it, though. Asuka deserved a more focused resolution to her character arc than this. They sort of tacked her identity crisis onto Shinji's, but that doesn't work for me. In a better planned series, there would have been enough episodes left to give each of them their own moment of growth.

Mostly, this ending blows because there was so much lore that didn't get explained in this show, and I don't know if that's because they thought it wasn't worth getting into, or if they were just too fixated on Shinji's turmoil to prioritize anything else. I really wanted to know what the deal was with the Second Angel, and this show totally blew it off.

Or did it?

Now that I've finished the box set, I decided to look in the character bios on the last disc, and I found this one, about Lilith, the Second Angel. This is great, because it confirms what I thought was going on in Episode 24. Everyone called this guy "Adam" and assumed he was the First Angel, but it was actually the Second, Lillith, and no one knew the difference until Kaworu got close enough to notice.

I mean, maybe SEELE, Gendo, and possibly Ritsuko knew who it really was, but that's why Third Impact never happened whenever the Evas or Angels approached it. Apparently the purple on Lillith's face is a mask depicting the SEELE coat of arms, so maybe they put that on her as a disguise, which is why the Angels never knew the difference until the very end.

Adam is the forebearer of the other Angels, and Lilith is apparently the progenitor of humans, so I guess that explains why the Evas made from Lillith were like Angels without being Angels themselves. I still have other questions, but at least I'm somewhat satisfied.

So that's it. I finally finished the NGE TV series. Now I want to check out End of Evangelion, and maybe start perusing the fan wikis for other information I missed. This is nice. I have to say, this series has been kind of uneven. Great in some places and downright crappy in others. But it's very gratifying to have finally experienced it for myself. I've been curious about it for a long time, and sating my curiosity feels more rewarding than the actual quality of the show.

Play us out, 4kids.

[moonchild-in-blue]

"To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once." O. Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

So I was reading this the other day and forgot to post it. This line stood out to me as applicable to how I see Vessel and Sleep's relationship:

[cw: mentions of toxic relationships / abuse / domestic violence / ptsd]

There is a quality of both parent and enemy, of protection and danger in how They interact with Vessel. "I'm hurting you because I love you; Stay away from me; Don't you dare stray from my guidance; This will end badly for you".

In the context of the book, the narrator is referring to his mother, how her years of abuse were largely caused by war ptsd. How she was supposed to be mother, and was stranger instead. How monsters are maybe not so bad, not so evil.

There is this amalgamation of complicated feelings and conflicting traits in who she [the mother] is, that can definitely be applied to Sleep. They are never truly evil; but They are not good either. "With all that you believe, you still refuse to shelter me // And no matter the cost of the rain, you still shelter me all the same". And much like our narrator, it's interesting to see Vessel go through that whole cycle of "I hate you / I love you / I never want to see you again / Please don't leave me".

If you have some experience with abusive relationships, you know how messed up that cycle of thinking is, and how impossible it is to come to a single conclusion when it comes to that person's character - especially if the abuse itself is caused by a traumatic past, or unresolved mental issues.

It makes me think of how Vessel often alludes to Sleep have been belonging to a higher place, a "Heaven" of sorts, and how They have seem to be since cast away. Is Sleep going through all the stages of grief and trauma something like that brings? Were they also in a war of their own? Is there a reason behind all of the malice and manipulation, aside from the fickle whims of an ancient god?

[voidscreamintheories]

HtP Theory: A School on Who's the Ghoul 1 of 2

Spoilers for Hunter the Parenting

This is part 3 of a series of theories regarding D’s identity, and what it means for the story. Part 1 here, part 2 here

So the ghoul, the current major crisis which we eagerly await the next episode to learn more. Let me address a few other theories before I get to my big one.

Spit: Despite what just happened, Spit is not the ghoul. He ain’t human though. Spit is probably a werewolf undergoing his first change. He’s currently agitated and nervous, there’s a big full moon outside (even though I don’t think WoD werewolves necessarily change with the moon, they ARE associated), and oh, Fatigue just got gibbed. Some points here. Fatigue was an expert in Lycanthropy, others have called out that maybe he recognized what Spit was going through and wanted to help him. Spit is in a really stressful situation, the ghoul scare probably has him worried since he knows he isn’t acting normal, also we saw him take a rather severe beatdown to start the night, that could be cause for a defensive change. Spit mentions having two voices in his head, it’s not uncommon for Garou to feel like they are two beings, the human and the wolf, maybe spit was hearing his wolf wanting to break out. Relatedly, Garou children tend to be violent and a little anit-social (they do have a wild animal spirit in them), maybe this lead Spit to becoming a Br*tish hooligan? And lastly here, I think the massive blood splatter being on the stuffed wolf in the lounge was a big hint to us what just happened. Spit’s no ghoul, but maybe he could fight one.

Harry: He is so nice and innocent, he has some extra access by virtue of being a strong boi. Maybe his “I only use my muscles for lifting” mantra is because he is worried about being found out if he lets too much ghoul strength show. I think this is disproven a bit by him working out with Markus when I believe Occam gets attacked, though this might fit another theory down below.

Elise: She stole access keys, she’s goth and that’s pretty vampire like. Honestly I don’t think it’s Elise BY HERSELF, again, below.

Grimal: This one I begrudgingly acknowledge has some merit. She bites people all the time, so she might have gotten ghouled on accident by biting a vamp and tasting yummy vitae. She broke Spit’s tailbone with a single yaoi paddle swing (also funny, TAILbone on the guy becoming a furry). She’s also acting strange and panicky. Her arcanum interest is in a type of vampire (even though the Kuei Jin are VASTLY different vamps). Also she and Kitten bonded over mutual experience with the supernatural, and since Kitten’s (alleged, see my Kitten theory) first encounter with the supernatural was against a vampire, it’s possible Grimal has some hand’s on experience with blood suckers. All good thoughts, however counterpoint: I like Grimal and don’t want her to get executed, or turned into a minion of Big D, so I REALLY don’t want this to be true. Please Ogreat Poopybum, don’t turn her into the evil.

Multiple ghouls: Curveball idea, what if there ain’t only one ghoul? Maybe it’s ALL THREE of the Markus friend group, and they were working together to try and get out of the situation. Harry ran distraction against Markus, Elise stole access keys and maybe used the also-stolen cigs as a bribe for the cleaners to be “anywhere but here”, and Grimal caused a very public scene where she broke down at the end, so she could have a reasonable excuse to be snooping on her own. I am worried about this being a possibility also, as I like all three of these characters and I’d prefer them to stick around. The events described could also have happened without them being ghouls, and their just up to something else entirely.

Doctor lady: Not enough screentime to get a good gauge on what she’s up to. It is suspicious she had a bunch of scalpels (unless, was that a Jojo reference?), but also she was coked out of her mind most of the time. I did see somewhere that being on the cocaine might be a smokescreen against potential ghoul withdrawal symptoms. Having a doctor on retainer would be a good idea for a shady organization. Also she does have higher level access than other ghoul potentials.

EXCEPT FOR

Occam. I think Occam is the ghoul. Once more the posts must be split, Occam ghoul theory continued in the second half

[friendlyengie]

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #242

What feeling do you have the most difficult in expressing? Jealousy. It's not something I experience often, and I think because it's rare, I have NO idea how to handle it.

Do you make your bed everyday? Why/why not? Only roughly. I just straighten the cover a bit.

Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. I just love this time of year.

Do you give money to homeless people/beggars? Why/why not? No because I literally HAVE no money. I do not own a dollar. I'm also very afraid of people, but if there ever is a time I finally have my own income, I would like to. My mom is the friendliest person to homeless people that I know and she inspires me a lot.

What do you feel is your number one flaw? Are you doing anything about it? When it boils down to it... maybe that I have zero faith in myself and my abilities. That causes a lot of problems in my life. And I mean yeah, I'm in therapy and I've worked very hard on being kinder to myself and just trying to learn to believe in me.

Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? I... struggle with this. I'm working on it.

Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? No, and I really don't vibe with competitive-ass people. Everyone wins some, everyone loses some. That's the way of life. My mama raised me to believe everyone has their turn.

On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? I dunno. I'm too self-doubtful for this.

Will you be single over winter? I don't see the future. I wouldn't think so though, Girt and I are doing great.

Do you add random questions into surveys when you take them? No. I only ever delete some for a variety of reasons.

Would you get married if you could right now? I'd prefer not to right now.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? It depends. I am REMARKABLY lucky that my mom still takes care of me when I'm pushing 30; she understands that I'm a mentally ill person with a lot of struggling points and is being a true mother in never giving up on me. She does what she can, but I'm going to take the phrasing the last person used: I don't think I'm spoiled in a bratty sort of way. I don't get everything I want and stuff. I'm just very lucky to have a mom who didn't kick her chick out of the nest before she was ready.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? I do.

Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? Not a couch, no. I'm a big person, we ain't gonna be comfortable enough to sleep cuddling on a couch lol. Or rather, I wouldn't be, no way in hell. I already struggle to sleep in bed.

Have you written a letter to a soldier? Not that I remember. I suppose it's possible from elementary school, but I don't remember it.

Where are the majority of your clothes from? Probably Walmart.

Does being in love make you nervous? Yes, because I've been hurt so badly by love before.

Would you do your own surgery to keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I have no idea. I would have to be in this situation to know.

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had two infected piercings and those sucked. The cyst I had got BADLY infected, that was hell on fucking earth.

Is racism for losers? It sure fucking is hunny!!!!!!!

Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No, not even Ozzy or Rammstein.

Are you popular on any websites? No.

Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? Accidentally, yes. I try not to do this in respect to however their parents are raising them. Most don't want their kids hearing words like that.

Will you go to your high school reunion? No. I have no desire to go back there.

If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? Markiplier, probably. I'd love to hear some motivational talk from him.

Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? Dude it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing, how innocent it is, don't fucking do this, it makes me insanely uncomfortable.

Would you consider yourself hypocritical? Everyone is a hypocrite to some degree, I think everyone knows that.

Do you know anyone who had had a heart attack under 30 years of age? I don't believe so.

Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't.

If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? Ugh fuck this question, it makes me think of my worst fucking fear in the world, being homeless and having to live like this. If I was LITERALLY STARVING, I'm sure I'd probably eventually look, because it's that or fucking die. I mean, look at the food we sometimes throw away, it's oftentimes fine, we're just being picky. I would never do this if I wasn't in this exact situation though.

When you last watched a movie, did you watch it alone or with someone? With someone. I never watch movies alone.

Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? No bullshit, I wouldn't work somewhere that didn't. Get with the fuckin' times.

Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No.

Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? I haven't tried this since I was a child, but I remember I didn't as a kid because the texture bothered me.

Ever been to Gaia Online? Do you have an account? No, I've only heard of it.

If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't know.

Would you ever enlist in the army? I'd rather diiiiiiieeeeeee <3

Last time you were at a job interview? How did it go? Maybe like... 2019. I got the job. Didn't last long.

What’s one place you’d NEVER want to work at? I would never, EVER work in food, especially fast food. Hungry people are fucking mean. I also write super slow so would write down orders too slowly but more importantly than that, my memory is actual garbage and I KNOW I'd often fuck up, and that pisses people off.

Do you use Tumblr? What do you normally post? Yes, my main blog focuses on Rammstein.

Did you tease freshmen in high school? No, because I found it remarkably immature. Like, you were once a freshman too and didn't want to be picked on.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Nope, that's farther than I've ever traveled.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I don't like any billionaire, thanks.

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? Disney Channel movie? I dunno.

Do you ever have to do yard work? No.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? For both, male.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Individual. I fucking dreaded group work when I was in school. Thankfully most of my teachers trusted me to work alone.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to the country's most popular NARBC with Sara.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom.

Last thing that pissed you off? Seeing a video of pet meerkats. I struggle to understand why it's legal in some countries.

What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? People overreact immensely to this. Like what, would you rather your kid be snatched? Or have them wander off? "Well teach them to stay by you!" That doesn't always work. What about kids with mental issues that are more inclined to wander and stuff? I'd rather your kids be safe.

New tats in your near future? How about piercings or re-piercings? Tattoos, no, not in the near future. I want loads more, but they're not a priority right now for whenever I am gifted money. Perhaps I'll get my nose repierced for Christmas, but I don't know.

Would you ever visit a psychic medium? If you would, what would you wanna know? I don't fuck with scam artists.

What’s something you have a very strong opinion about? Abortion rights, to name one thing. I have a lot of very strong opinions.

Are you family-orientated in everything you do? No.

Do others consider you to be stuck up? I can't see how anyone would think that.

Would you often call yourself a moody person? I know I am.

Are you self-sufficient? Honestly, no.

Sleep position? Side or stomach. I physically cannot sleep on my back.

Who is your best friend? My boyfriend.

Do you have an online best friend as well? My closest online friends are Tez and Mazzy.

Who is your favorite person to spend time with? My boyfriend.

Have you ever had tendinitis? No.

Do you know how to grill a steak? Sure don't.

Do you mosh when you go to concerts/shows? I never have and wouldn't. Mosh pits scare me.

When’s the last time you went to a nightclub? Never been to one, don't want to.

Are you good at playing darts? I wouldn't really know, but considering I'm really uncoordinated, most likely not.

Are “school friends” and friends different to you? Yes. They can overlap, but not all "school friends" are true friends, y'know?

Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? Love 'em.

Ever been friends with someone you didn’t expect? Yes.

The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? No.

Have you had any form of exercise today? No.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes.

Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but I have no memories of her, she died when I was young. Who *I* consider to be our first dog was Angel, because I remember her. She died of parvo when young, though. She got quite unlucky, she also had her leg run over by a car... Don't ask me why she was outside unleashed.

Is it easy for you to pretend everything’s okay? No.

Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint.

What’s your favorite color out of these five: Green, Yellow, Blue, or Purple? Purple.

Have you done anything sneaky lately? No.

Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Yes, I have a box for that.

Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? I've dated people I've never kissed. "Significant other" sounds more serious.

Do you depend on people at all, in any way? Quite a lot. I've already sorta covered how much I depend on my mom. I live with her, don't work, don't have some other stream of income. I don't drive because I panic behind the wheel and it makes me unsafe.

Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else? Yes to both, many times.

Do you have any pictures of yourself with the person you like? A few, but not many. Neither of us are picture people.

[comraads]

On God and Santa

When I was around five, I asked my mom the dreaded question about Santa Claus. 

She’s recounted the story many times–it’s one of those “look how precocious she was” anecdotes that my family chuckles at. I asked if Santa was real, as many many kids do. My mom was in a bit of a tough spot, because she’d so far decided to parent with total honesty. She’d answered the “where do babies come from” in a very matter of fact, clinical way, but this was different. She was afraid that by telling me the truth, I’d lose something of that childhood joy and wonder. So she did the best she could–she wove a beautiful story about how Santa isn’t a real person, but rather the spirit of Christmas, an ideal that we all embody around the holidays. Santa was in the sound of a jingling bell, the whisper of wintery wind. It was, in my memory, quite poetic.

According to her retelling, I took this all in solemnly, nodding my head. After a small pause, I asked a follow-up question.

“Okay, but who puts the presents under the tree?”

I don’t think that many people realize the parallels between the Santa myth and God—at least from a child’s perspective. I knew by five years old that Santa wasn’t real, and it didn’t cause any kind of crisis in me. I wasn’t sad, I had rather suspected as much for a while. I also understood that I couldn’t say anything to the other children, or even to adults, because doing so would break the spell. 

I viewed God in much the same way. Internally, I knew it was impossible that all the animals in the world fit on a single boat, or that a man had turned water into wine at a wedding. I assumed that the adults–at least most of them–knew this too, and that we were all going along with this whole God thing because, like Santa, it was somehow culturally important to do so. So I did. I went to church and sang the songs, I skipped dinner and breakfast before Fast Sundays, I even bore my testimony. And I began to understand–or at least I thought I did–why God was so important. It gave people meaning, answers, a code to live by. I liked the idea of there being a rulebook, perhaps for obvious reasons, and at that age, I saw the rules of my church as just as reasonable as any other. Do unto others and all that. 

I continued to believe in God the way I “believed” in Santa, all the while assuming that everyone else was doing the same: until the moment when I stopped agreeing with His rules. Once I began to learn how my church thought about people who were different from us, the logical justification for belief failed. How could belief in God be so important if that belief was used to harm other people? On the contrary, it seemed to me that the most ethical thing would be to not believe in God, and to let people live their lives in a way that made them happy. By their own rules.

I tell this story because it’s one of many that, looking back on, makes it obvious that I was always different from other kids. I’ve spent all my life hiding this rich inner world from others, because I learned early on that they wouldn’t understand, or even worse, that what I was, truly, under the surface, somehow bad or wrong. That I didn’t belong. Kids always sniffed it out quickly, but as I got older and the mask grew more sophisticated, I was able to pass mostly unnoticed by neurotypical society. Maybe, if someone had thought to assess me younger, I would be a very different person than I am today. Maybe that would be better; maybe worse. The point is, I have always been like this, from my earliest memories, whether or not it was obvious from the outside.

When I confessed mid-meltdown to my PhD advisor what was happening and why, she responded with “I don’t think you’re autistic—you don’t seem autistic,” and that’s exactly why I’m writing this. I believe there are many people like me out there, who have gone through their life under the assumption that their experience is typical when in fact it is anything but. People who feel deep shame and guilt over who they are because they don’t know that they are overcoming remarkable odds each day by continuing to function (even semi-effectively) in a world that is openly hostile to them. Getting my diagnosis was life-changing for me because I finally understood why I had always struggled with things that seemed simple for others, why I was prone to depressive episodes and burnouts. Most importantly, it gave me the freedom to embrace myself for who I was, to heal long festering emotional wounds, and to seek joy without embarrassment or shame.

Sometimes I envy people who genuinely believe in God. I only realized as an adult how many of them are not pretending, but in fact have a kind of unshaking faith and there's something beautiful in that. I don't think I've ever experienced what people call faith. I think it can be helpful for people to believe in something bigger than ourselves, even if it is a jealous sky daddy. But then I remember the question "who puts the presents under the tree" and I think maybe we shouldn't be so quick to give credit to God for things when all the best--and worst--outcomes of religion have come from people acting in God's name.