#and maybe a restart / do over might be needed

[lunaetis]

[ work kicked me to the ground today so no writing. i'll attempt some replies tmr. a little heads up, i'll be doing some blog cleaning ( drafts, asks, dynamics & ships ) bc i'm starting to feel overwhelmed with things as of late. i need to tidy things up so i can keep up and maybe get some new things going. hope everyone is having a good day / evening / night on your end ! ]

[mochiwrites]

Grian is a hypocrite. He knows. God, does he know it. He’d never acknowledge that fact, however, would never admit to it. He isn’t exactly the type that goes around readily confessing his flaws, after all.

He had told Jimmy he wouldn’t restart the session if he died, right after he’d been knocked down a few lives. Grian said it without hesitation, as amusement spilled from his voice like it had been paint in a can that tipped over. It wouldn’t be fair, nor right, to restart the session. And if he restarted it for Jimmy, what kind of message would that send the others? It might become expectation if someone permanently died so early on.

He needed to be firm about it—even if Jimmy’s misfortune came from bad luck, things out of his control.

Grian can’t go giving out special favors. He can’t be biased.

He’s a hypocrite for it.

It happens on the mountain, right by the long staircase made of soft pink cherry wood. He doesn’t even notice at first, attempting to avoid his personal harbinger, a snail. Honestly, Grian didn’t mean for things to go this badly. As with most things with him, Grian thought it to be a silly joke. A hat tip toward a well known hypothetical query.

But in typical fashion, Grian overestimated his friends’ survival capabilities. With their own personal snails tailing them constantly, he watched as death after death rolled in, giggling over each one (unless it was Mumbo or Skizz).

Maybe by now he should know better.

“Who would make my snail invisible?! Who would boobytrap my snail like that?!”

Grian looks over at Lizzie, both flabbergasted and impressed, “That’s—that’s devious.”

The second he turns, it happens.

(Sandy domes under their feet, a ravine cutting right through their path. Mischievous giggles shared between them before they’re torn apart, the sound coming to an abrupt end.

With a shout he pushes his hand out, but to no avail. Yellow turns to red and all that’s left are their foot prints in sand, a pile of items below.

He’s left at the top, lips curling around the syllables of a name as hysteric laughter follows it, distress wrapping around it like a ring.

He never did manage to catch him.)

Grian is a hypocrite, because the moment Scar dies right in front of him, he panics. That invisible snail wasn’t Lizzie’s. It was Scar’s. He stops, breath cutting itself short on its own blade, body freezing itself in ice. He gets a second of eye contact with the man, seeing the shock and fear lacing his expression before he’s gone.

“Oh, Scar!” The outcry is loud as it crackles with distress.

This is it, he’s on his final life now. If he dies it’s permanent. No do overs. No restarts. No special favors. Scar will die. Grian can’t stomach the thought, can’t let it happen. He’s failed every other time and this world has only just begun. It’s too early. It’s… it’s not fair.

END THE SESSION. END THE SESSION! END IT. SAVE HIM. END END END END END END END!

Grian is a hypocrite.

Whether it be out of some sort of twisted and tangled guilt, or the lingering feeling of a debt to Death that never truly went fully repaid, he isn’t sure. There is no hesitation, just a natural instinct, an ingrained habit. If it were anyone else he’d let it happen, let the game run its course.

But his choice is obvious when it comes to Scar, even when he doesn’t want it to be. He’s always going to be drawn to him, always going to feel this pull. He’ll sacrifice it all, twist himself up in however many different contradictions he needs.

For Scar.

“The session is over!” he shouts, rapidly typing in the world chat for the others. He spams the message a few times in his hurry before switching to turn the wild card off. And he does it just in time, with Scar’s snail just a few inches away from the man. It disappears, along with the others, and a collective sigh of relief is released from those among them.

He feels Them watching, unhappy with their meal being cut short. But Grian doesn’t care. He never has.

“Man, that was a close one! I thought I was a goner,” Scar laughs over to his side, drawing Grian’s attention. “Thanks for the quick save there, G-man.”

Grian smiles at him, some small thing. “Don’t get used to it,” he returns.

There’s a knowing look in Scar’s now ruby eyes, and the sun on Grian’s hair feels warmer; heated, nostalgic. “Of course.”

He’s not supposed to play favorites, not meant to be biased. He’s not supposed to interfere to keep a player alive (something he made very clear to Mumbo and Skizz prior). But existing in a world like this without Scar feels wrong and near painful so early on. He couldn’t stand around and do nothing. He couldn’t just watch.

Not when it’s Scar.

Grian pretends not to notice the glance Jimmy throws at them, a brow raised. He’s been seen right through.

[suppose-i-was-worm]

Like A Lamb

**Idea taken from @nerdpoe's post- What the hell is this "Infinite Realms"?**

John Constantine would never call himself a kind man, much less a good man, but the kid at the corner table of this fast food restaurant was making him want to be both.

Not that John’s kindness would really help the kid, in the long run.

He’d seen so many things in all the time he’d been alive- wondrous and horrific in equal measure, but this boy- this teenager, barely out of childhood, was probably the most heart-breaking.

John had known sacrifices- marked by both men and demons. He’d seen the crumpled bodies after the fact, and sometimes he’d been able to save them beforehand. None of them were like this boy. Marked like a sacrificial lamb down to his bones by the universe- an inevitable end.

The teen was the beginning and the end of worlds- his death would shake the foundations of all that was, could be, and is. Time would stutter to a stop before restarting with a different beat, and John could do nothing to delay or stop what was coming.

How in the world could this kid still smile and laugh with his friends? How could he not feel the weight of an entire reality on his shoulders? If John, sitting across a dining room from him, could feel the pressure, why wasn’t the boy buckling under it?

John’s phone alerted him to a text from Zatanna- he was needed by the JLD.

With a sigh, he fished out the strongest protection amulet he had on him. It wouldn’t save the teen, but maybe it would make the rest of his life a little easier.

The kid looked up at him as he approached, all smiles and young innocence. John Constantine thrust the amulet into his hand and then turned, stalking out of the Nasty Burger.

He needed to tell the Justice League. Amity Park needed protection- there was a kid there whose death would change the world.

~~~

Danny flipped the little charm around in his hands, trying to figure it out. The sad trenchcoat man had handed it to him before leaving, and he had no idea why.

“What do you think it is, Danny?”

He shrugged. For some reason he didn’t want to hand it over to Sam for her to inspect it.

“Dunno. It feels important, though. I might take it to Pandora- she’s been teaching me a bit of magic stuff, so she can probably parse it out.”

For some reason, Danny knew he would recognize that man again if he ever saw him, despite only having looked at him for a moment. Something in his core rumbled contently as he tucked the amulet carefully into the back of his phone case.

The next few weeks, Danny found himself having suspiciously good luck. The food at home didn’t come to life, ghosts didn’t attack as much, Dash wasn’t a problem at school, and even the Fentons hadn’t been as insistent on catching Phantom.

That was another weird thing- His brain didn’t seem to compute that Jack and Maddie were his mom and dad anymore. He knew he’d been creeping toward that ever since his death, but it was like a switch had been flipped overnight. The Fenton adults no longer registered as his parents.

Finally he had a chance to slip into the Realms and head for Pandora, who took one look at the amulet he held out to her and laughed.

“You have been adopted, young one, and your core accepted.”

“Adopted?”

“Your nature is to protect- it sings in your blood and guides your instincts. An adult offered you protection, a safe haven, and you took them up on it. Had someone your own age done the same, your relationship with them would be vastly different.”

Danny frowned at the charm, but he didn’t put it down- it didn’t even occur to him to get rid of it.

“Why did he- what made him do that?”

Pandora ruffled his hair.

“He saw someone who needed protecting, I assume, and acted as he ought.”

~~~

“Bats, I don’t know what the Infinite Realms are. Yes, I know they exist. I just don’t know when they started to exist, and when my knowledge of the afterlife became outdated.”

Batman glared, and John rolled his eyes at the other man.

“Magic shit happens all the time. Zatanna can tell you just as well as I can that the Realms didn’t exist a year ago- and also that they’ve existed for millenia.”

“I’ve found a summoning spell for the king of the realms, but it requires a magic user. Zatanna is off-planet, so you’re up.”

John looked over at the speaker, Red Robin, whose slight form and dark hair made him think of the boy he’d left to die.

He’d thought of the boy more often than not- any research into the kind of sacrifice that would have so much power came to a dead end, and John Constantine hated that there was really and truly nothing he could do for the kid.

Maybe this Infinite Realms person might know something?

“Fine. What are the details?”

Red Robin perked up and handed over a heavy tome.

“Batman and I already set up the ritual space in the conference room, and a few other heroes are there to help out if the king is hostile.”

“Of course you have. Let’s go, then.”

The two bats swept off down the hallway, and John followed behind, studying the spell he would need to cast. It was fairly simple, and luckily wouldn’t require blood. He hated the ones that required blood.

As he stood over the sigils and spoke the ritual spells, the floor inside the protective circle began to writhe and bubble a toxic neon green. It was all John could do to stand straight as a rush of air spilled from the portal into the wide room, bringing with it the heavy taste of caution.

The Justice League took a step back as the first clawed hand reached out from the green, white and stretched beyond humanity. It scrabbled for purchase before finding it and pulling.

The creature that exited the swirling mass was something John had never seen before. If the situation wasn’t so tense, he might describe the creature as catlike, with a black body and white legs, as well as piercing green eyes. The similarities stopped, however, when the inky body flickered and lit up from within with the pinpricks of millions of stars and endless void.

This was a baby god, filled with the dreams of deities long forgotten and fueled by the hope of those still clinging on to life.

Its green eyes swept over the gathered heroes before coming to rest on John, and for a moment he felt as if his tattered soul was being judged by the cosmos.

And then the creature folded in on itself, the tense air around it changing from bitter caution to sweet relief, and John found himself face to face with the teenager from Amity Park.

“Hi.”

The boy sounded winded, but happy, and he reached inside his shirt to pull out a small chain necklace. John’s amulet was hanging off it, obviously well treasured and cared for.

“Did you know that you’re technically my dad now?”

Something on John’s face must have told the boy- the god, the sacrifice both dead and alive- that he was unaware of this fact. The kid shuffled a little, looking sheepishly at the floor.

“You- uh. Unintentionally offered safe haven. And I accepted without realizing what was going on, and- it’s weird. I collected your soul for you! Didn’t bring it with me, but I’ve got the pieces you’re missing.”

“I think you both need to sit down and discuss this.”

Bless Diana.

“Can you leave the circle, young one?”

The teen beamed at Diana and stepped out of the protective circle, smudging the sigils as he did and closing the portal.

“I can, yeah. Pandora says hi, by the way.”

John watched as the boy chattered away about his ghost friends to Diana while she led him to a seat, and then sighed, moving to join them. If he needed help with being a new dad, surely Bats could help, right?

[princessbrunette]

thinking about boxer!rafe coming home after a match all sore so u offer to give him a massage to make him feel better but ur hands just keep getting a little too close to his dick! and now he's hard! and he might as well fuck u!

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃

rafe felt at peace.

his days were overwhelming, overstimulating, deafened by the roar of a bustling crowd cheering him on or the ringing of his own ears after taking a punch. now, laying on the couch in just sweatpants — the only real sound he can pick up on is the quiet humming of the tv. the house was quiet, your baby girl was in bed asleep, and you were there right infront of him, delicate hands sliding down his chest.

“where are you sore?” your sweet voice cuts through his thoughts as you slide your hands carefully down the tense plane of his muscles. your palms take a moment to rest on his abdomen, looking up at him with wide inquisitive eyes.

“uh…” he raises a hand, scratching behind his ear and licking his lips in thought. “everywhere.” he drawls making you huff a quiet laugh from your nose.

“m’kay. noted.” you hum, continuing your movements. he lets his head lull back on the couch, eyes fluttering shut as he tries to zone out of everything and enjoy your touch. you’re never too rough when you pass over his budding bruises or freshly treated cuts, but know when to dig the pads of your fingers in to work out any knots beneath the skin. it was heavenly, and it wasn’t often rafe enjoyed letting himself be pampered.

your hands transfer to his thighs at some point, knowing those get sore from all the extensive workouts he does. you dig the heels of your hands in and drag them every which way, the cameron man enjoying the massage through his sweatpants, the material bunching beneath your hands.

his awareness begins to return when your focus hones in on his upper thighs, dragging your hands towards the centre where his crotch lies before removing them and restarting, over and over. maybe it was because he wasn’t wearing any underwear, but with each movement the baggy material of his sweatpants began to move and create friction against his cock — gliding lightly against his tip when he inevitably began to harden. his eyes open and his head lifts, a hand coming to rest on the fat of your hip as he gazes at your concentrated face in adoration.

“you’re a little tense.” you whisper, biting back a smile when you feel his eyes on you.

“yeah…” his smirk only grows. “yeah you uh, you don’t say.” a larger hand comes down, his own — and rests over his crotch, instinctively rubbing at his growing erection. slowly, your own massaging halts and your eyes flutter a little, swallowing as you watch. as if it were you he was touching, a small hum sounds from the back of your throat. “think i need you to rub on something else for a little while, alright?”

your gentler hand rests over his and he removes it, letting you feel the weight of his cock through the soft grey fabric and you start to rub, eyes instantly jumping to his for approval. he winces at the feeling, shifting his hips and leaning back in relaxation once more as he watches.

“i want you to feel good everywhere.” you shyly admit and now it’s his turn to huff out a silent laugh.

“yeah? that’s real sweet.” he lets you continue to touch him, but now sits forward, bringing his face close to yours. for a second he just stares you down, before he tilts his head a little. “now i…i think we can mutually benefit eachother here. i might feel a little more relaxed if you sit that pretty wet pussy on me… okay? think you can hump on daddy a little? make me… make me feel better?” he raises his eyebrows when he awaits a response, but you feel like all the air has been punched out of your body.

you suck in a shaky inhale, nodding jerkily and he smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “knew you would. i’d bet money that it’s already wet for me… it is, isn’t it?”

you start off riding him sure, doing some of the work — but like usual, rafe enjoys taking charge and exerting his energy into you— so soon enough you’re on your back on the couch, his large body arched over you with his sweatpants pulled down and his balls slapping against you repeatedly.

“mm— there you go. it’s — it’s like you scratch my back i scratch yours… right?” he pants, lips parted in breathlessness. you can barely hear him through the pounding of blood in your ears but you nod anyway, just enjoying hearing him speak. “you give me a little massage and i get to massage your insides in return… and you’re taking it like a fuckin’ champ baby, keep at it.”

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃

[temilyrights]

43) “god you’re so emotionally constipated.” for Emily x Reader please.

history smothers us

emily prentiss x gn!reader

summary: years of unspoken words and misconceptions threaten to destroy what remains of a once close relationship. you couldn't imagine your life without emily. now you look at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. featuring prompt "god you're so emotionally consitpated" from my prompt list.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mention of blood. no use of y/n. set in season 12. unit chief prentiss.

a/n: thank you so much for the request <3 sorry it took me a while I struggled to find the right idea. I imagine this wasn't what you had in mind but I do hope you enjoy it anyway. also side note: i've deleted my taglist, i'm restarting because it was years old so if anyone would like be re-tagged or anyone new would like to be added pls lmk!

The police lights flash in the midnight sky. Agents and local police spread across the farmhouse. And you, sitting in the back of an ambulance, blood dripping down the side of your head, the beginnings of a headache making itself known.  

The bright torch shining in your eyes makes you wince, but the EMT clears you of a concussion and hands you pain meds to swallow. You drag your hand through your hair, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips. 

The unsub had come out of nowhere and whacked you over the head with a metal pole, and he probably would’ve done a lot more if it wasn’t for Tara being two steps behind you. 

Honestly, you were fine. A little banged up, with a nasty bruise already forming, but the blood had been wiped away and it was almost like it had never happened.

Well, apart from the very angry Unit Chief Prentiss stalking towards you. 

You wish this was an unfamiliar sight, but god she’d been back months now and you don’t think her smile had been pointed in your direction once. 

“What were you thinking?” She scolds, voice sharp and eyes narrowed. You don’t miss the shaking of her hands as she holds them tightly on her hips or the rising flush of her cheeks, both she would blame on the cold but you knew they were born out of concern, not that she’d ever admit it. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise the FBI now required its agents to have the abilities to see through walls.” You roll your eyes, the half-joke an attempt to fix her glare, but you know even as the words pass your lips it’s futile. Your shoulders slump, already too tired for the fight ahead,  “He came out of nowhere, Prentiss.” 

Her lips purse, “They require you to be able to clear a room. It seems you might need a refresher course. Maybe until you can be trusted and I deem you requalified it’s best you stay back in quantico.” 

“What?” You ask incredulously. Of all the dumb things- “Let me get this straight, you’re benching me over nothing? Tara was through that door seconds later. I wasn’t defying your orders. You have no reason to do this!”

“I want you to redo your basic training so I know you can be trusted in the field.” She demands, stoic, serious, and so far away from the soft woman you used to be able to reach out to. 

You laugh, but the noise is sad and wild. You shake your head in disbelief, watching the woman in front of you that years ago used to be the person you were closest to in the world. Now you stare at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. “God, you’re so emotionally constipated.” 

“Excuse me?” 

You push yourself off the end of the ambulance, bringing yourself to your full height and meeting her gaze. You knew the day she accepted the unit chief position this wouldn’t end well, there was too much history, too much the two of you had left unsaid, hurt and anger smothering any possible relationship left. 

“Let’s not pretend this has anything to do with my performance.” You begin, words low enough that if she didn’t listen the words threatened to disappear with the wind, “It’s because I got hurt and you’d rather damage my career and ruin the tatters of our relationship than admit that me getting hurt scared you.” 

Emily steps backwards, face stricken. Her hands fall from her hips, her mouth opening and closing as she struggles for words. 

You decide there’s nothing left she can say. You excuse yourself and grab a lift with Luke, happy to leave the crime scene and your boss behind. After everyone’s finished at the farmhouse and packed up at the police station it’s nearing two am and everyone is ordered back to the hotel to catch a few hours of sleep before the flight in the morning. 

Your feet are dragging by the time you make it to your room. The meds have done their job though and your headache had faded away, but nothing but sleep was going to help your heavy and aching bones. You wave a tired goodbye to Tara, who unlike Emily had no issues checking in and making sure you were okay, and then retreat to your room. 

You slump into the chair at the desk, telling yourself you’ll find the energy to get ready for bed in one minute. But so thankful to finally be off your feet. Your reprieve lasts only minutes before a knock sounds at your door. A withered sigh leaves your lips and you consider ignoring it but still find yourself pushing yourself upright and making your way back to the door. 

When you open it, you wish you’d listened to your thoughts. 

“Hi?” You say hesitantly, staring into the tired face of Emily Prentiss. There’s no anger, her shoulders are almost slumped, defeated maybe? You look away, too scared to analyse further. 

“Can I come in?” 

You open the door further allowing her entrance. She smiles, tight lipped at you, nodding her thanks. You close the door and wait for her to speak, pondering how in the hell you both got to awkward silences and forced tight lipped smiles when years ago you two could share looks across the room and know what the other was thinking, spent hours talking and laughing together, how you had built a life and never thought there would be a day that she wasn’t in it with you. 

“We can’t go on like this.” She starts eyes meeting yours before flickering away, “Things between us have not been right since I returned and I think maybe we should clear the air. I want to be the Unit Chief, I want to be back here at Quantico but that only works if we can be a team.” 

You scoff. It slips from your mouth, uncontrolled and harsh. Emily’s gaze snaps to yours, her surprise at the sound clear. You shake your head, “What is there to say?” Where would we even begin?

“I-” She chokes, blinking as the emotions claw at her throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Your brows draw in confusion as you shake your head, “What are you talking about?”

“After everything that happened with Doyle-”

Your eyes bulge, “You think I'm still upset about that? God, do you think I’m a monster? You survived. You lived. That’s all that matters.” 

Tears pool in her eyes, but she blinks them away, her gaze shifting to the wall as her fingers pick at a hangnail. She looks back at you, still picking, gaze more open and lost than you’ve seen in a long time. “Then why? I hurt you. I can see it in the way you can barely stand to be around me, like it hurts you to even be in my presence.” 

You blow out a breath, eyes moving around the room before they land back on her and then away again. “It’s not your fault.” You breathe, emotions lodged in your throat and heart beating wildly against your chest as you try and force the words out. “You didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself. There was never going to be a life I led that you weren’t right with me, you know?” You laugh, wet and broken. 

Emily’s mouth falls open, her eyes emotional pits that you don’t dare hold. 

“And then you left for London and I couldn’t exactly be upset because I had no say in what you did with your life. We were just friends. I knew it’s what you needed and I don’t resent you for that. I just…” You take a breath, “I was so angry at myself for missing you, for thinking that I could be someone you would stay for.”

And there it was. The truth. Because at the end of the day, you’ve always just wanted to be enough for the woman in front of you. For her to see you as more than just your friend. To one day have your feelings returned. 

She’d left and you’d both been busy and you’d deliberately tried to separate yourself as well, drawing back from the painful reminder that you weren’t enough. And since her return, all those emotions have been resurfacing, however much you tried to keep them buried. Because falling out of love with Emily Prentiss was just not something you were capable of, and you’ve spent years trying too. 

Emily approaches you, the space between you closing ever so slightly. Your gaze sticks to the ground, scared to see the easy to read emotions across her face. She takes a breath, the sound muffled by the beating of your heart.

“After I came back from Paris, I used to find myself looking at you and knowing I couldn’t be that woman you remembered, the one you sought for. I wanted to. Desperately.” Her voice hitches, and then lowers to a hoarse whisper, “I wanted to be the woman you fell for.” 

Your eyes finally rise, against your will. Tears make their way in delicate paths down her cheeks, she looks every bit as lost as you feel. The only thing stopping you from falling apart is the fear that if you let go you may never recover. 

“I didn’t need you to be anyone. I just wanted you to be yourself. I wanted you to trust me.” You respond gently.

She shakes her head, “No, everyone was looking for that version of me that I couldn’t grasp onto.”

“Emily,” You sigh painfully. Her face crumples, eyes squeezing shut at the sound of her name from your lips. It’s been so long, you know. “You were healing from a trauma. I’ve always wanted the authentic you, whatever that includes. Why would that suddenly change?” 

She nods, a deep frown on her face as she accepts your words. Then a wet laugh, as she wipes away her tears. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I hate being in the same room as you and it being awkward. I used to be able to look at you and know what you’re thinking. I want that back.” 

A small smile curves your lips, “Me too, more than anything.” 

“Yeah?” She questions. Her teeth run across her lip, as she dares to hope. “You think we could get back there?” 

Your heart hammers. “I just need you to be really clear here. What exactly are we getting back to?” 

She steps forward, finally close enough to touch. Her hand hesitantly reaches out and touches yours, her cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones. Your body remembers her touch, relaxes and leans into it automatically. You eat it hungrily, tracking the movement before your eyes rise to meet hers and find soft, open eyes watching you. “I want to make you fall in love with me again.”

Your breath catches in your throat, tears pooling in your eyes as your hand shakes in hers.

“And this time, I promise, I’ll be there to catch you.” 

“We might have a slight problem with that plan.” You laugh, trying your hardest not to sob.

She frowns, nose wrinkling in the way you adore. “What’s that?” 

“It’s pretty difficult to re-fall in love when I never stopped loving you in the first place.” You huff, and Emily laughs, rich and free and bright. Her face joyful and happy, and with the wide bright smile you’ve waited months to feel pointed in your direction. God the sight makes your head spin.

“Is that so?” She asks, hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes full of love and pointed at you. 

You can only nod, dizzy from her attention and the emotions coursing through your body. 

When her lips find yours it feels like finally coming home. Soft and delicate, both too scared to push too hard, exploring slowing even as her hand holds your cheek and yours fists in her shirt. You’ve waited years for this, and if you get more of these than it will be worth it. Everything is worth it for the feeling of Emily in your arms. 

When she pulls away, it’s too soon. You follow her mouth and she concedes and gives you a couple more slow kisses before she stops herself, resting her forehead against yours.

“I just want to say sorry for earlier.” She whispers into the safe space you’ve built. “You were right, I was scared when you got hurt. Dave’s already kicked my ass for my response, you won’t receive any disciplinary action.”

You nod slightly, her forehead moving against yours, “Thank you.” 

“It won’t happen again.” She promises, sealing the words with a kiss to your lips. 

“I know.” You kiss her again, but this time you break out into a yawn midway through. Your momentarily forgotten exhaustion, making itself known. 

She melts against you, caressing your cheek. “Oh, you need to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. I’m taking you out for dinner.” 

You bite your lip to hide the smile threatening to take over your face, “A date?” 

She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Yes, a date. But only if you sleep first.” 

“Your wish is my command.” You can’t stop the grin from taking over your face anymore. You press a peck to her lips and lead her back towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow.” She agrees, eyes fluttering over your face as if she’s committing every aspect to memory. “Sleep well.” 

“You too.” 

She presses one last kiss to your lips before she opens the door and makes her exit. You close the door quietly behind her, sinking back into it and allowing the giggle to finally escape your mouth.

What the fuck had just happened. 

Emily Prentiss kissed you. 

Emily Prentiss has feelings for you. 

You weren’t alone.

You bite your lip and push off the door, finally ready to get ready for bed and praying come morning that this would still be your reality.

taglist: @aburman03

[piningpercussionist]

Kim lets her eyes drift between the two before resting on the load option, something in her head already itching to take it. When did I last save? She lets out a little huff, eyes narrowing in thought. She tries her best to recall, but she just isn't quite sure- maybe after she'd moved in? That seemed rather likely; she could vaguely recall grappling with herself on whether or not to do it, since it would lock in certain... unspeakable incidents. It was possible she had a more recent one, too; she liked to save whenever the option was presented to her, after all- you never knew when some crazy person was going to kick your teeth in, clearly. She frowns, looking away from it; she definitely hadn't saved since the New Years Party, though- and a bit before that. Did she really want to lose all that time? Those memories? Her progress with Ramona?

She shook her head. She'd rather take the embarrassment of the loss. Maybe Maddie would let her rematch; she really hadn't been ready for a fight, just then. Sure, she'd ignored the warning message, but she had written it off as a joke! She thought Scott's thorough kicking of their asses had put the League out of commission- especially given most of them seemed to have moved on, since then- according to her feeds, anyway. Then again, that didn't seem to be the Patel she knew- just what the hell was going on? She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose for a moment. There was no point in agonizing over it- what happened, happened, and there was no taking it back now. Not without a cost she didn't want to pay.

Good to know I had another life, at least... Respawn it is.

As Kim reaches for the button, however, the text box seems to glitch; she draws her hand back a second too late, the LOAD SAVE box turning bright green and white. "Shit," is the only thing she can say, soft and stunned, before a white current crackles up from it, coiling along her arm. She stumbles away, but it's too late to take the action back- the current leaps from her upper arm as though pouncing, striking her in the forehead.

Kim Pine lets out a pained, frightened scream as she falls to her knees in the Game Over room, staring down in wide eyed horror before a pained pulsing in her skull forces them shut. Her body glitches like the text box before it, pixelating and blurring- distorting as her own cry becomes a drawn out, garbled electronic tone. Bit by bit she is unmade, pixels turning white and pulling off her, straight upwards until they fade from existence. It feels like forever, but takes only a minute- then, Kim Pine is gone once more.

As she vanishes, the box distorts again, curiously showing the RESPAWN button as selected- just like she'd intended. The text box flashes slowly a couple times before the white space beneath it blips out; it, in turn, flickers into dimness, then darkens entirely, waiting to unload with the rest of the space until it is needed again.

HOLY SHIT KIM IS DEAD???!?!?!?!?!?

(ooc: the following was drafted a week or so ago, maybe, and has been slightly tweaked to reflect blog canon! It has also been cut in half, for the purpose of receiving audience interaction/response :3c I am taking some liberties here. Enjoy, and thank you for giving me a funny ask to reply to with it!)

.

.

.

.

.

Kim comes into existence again with a whimper, at first simply ashamed by her demise, with a linger ache- but the sound rapidly progresses to a pained shriek, a response to the state she was entering the world in- lines of code flashing wildly and flying by as they attempted to snap themselves into shape, giving her form. It was a painful, messy thing- and not something she'd experienced before, to know if something was amiss. When the code settles, she stumbles forward while clutching her sides, gasping for breath as she tries to orient herself. She fumbles around, gripping at her chest and her hair- no holes, no burns....

Did I... Did I just die? The question echoes out around her, despite having thought it- it makes her jump, a little, looking around wildly with a spin. All that surrounds her is nothing- nothing presented as dark void and a small circle of white beneath her feet, which moved along with her. Kim tries her best not to freak out, but she knows her face must be a sight, tears already coming to the corners of her eyes.

No. No, no, no! I can't- things were going so well for once, and I just- FUCK!

Kim falls to her knees, punching at the "ground" as she grits her teeth.

How the FUCK did I let this happen?! No goddamn snacks on hand- FUCK! You're such a FUCKING IDIOT, Kimberly!

Angry tears start to stream down her face as she continues her punching, vision blurring rather quickly. She doesn't stop until her arms are tired and the sides of her hands are throbbing and red, shakey as she painfully uncurls her fingers.

... God, what are they all gonna think of me? What's Ramona gonna think of me? I couldn't even get passed the first one...

Her breath hitches with the familiar hiccup of a sob wanting to start, and Kim slams a hand over her mouth as she clenches her eyes tight, trying to calm herself. It takes several minutes before she can rise to her feet, a little unsteady, but the tears keep coming even after she's wiped them away a good three or four times. She supposes its a reasonable reaction to her own demise, so she stops trying to get rid of them, grimacing as they drip down her face.

She turns, expecting to see nothing, but ends up surprised- before her, hovering in massive text up above, reads: GAME OVER! She blinks at it for a moment, confused, as it does a sort of fading blink, then begins scaling down, until each letter is maybe the size of her head. The letters pulse gently before the exclamation point fades out, and below the text, two boxes fade in instead. To the left the box is labeled "RESTART," and to the right, "LOAD SAVE."

[0san-ta0]

Late Night Missing You

synopsis ★ whilst arthur is off on a trip you start feeling lonely and resort to some unconventional methods of entertainment

pairing ★ fem!reader x arthur fredrick (arthurtv) author's notes ★ this is my first time writing an actual fic so it might be kinda shitty! feedback and tips are appreciated!! and i hope you enjoy!! <33 (NOT PROOFREAD)

arthur had been in sri lanka with chip and the boys for almost a week. although to you it felt way longer than that. sure, the facetimes, texts and voice notes were great but you couldn't help it as the loneliness had started creeping in by day 3. your usual daily routine had shifted slightly but your mind couldn't keep up, cooking enough for two or sitting on the couch waiting for arthur to walk through the door. your mood had been in the trenches and sitting alone in your apartment wasn't helping. you didn't want to bother your other friends this late at night. so you decided to have an impromptu stream, talking with the random people on your computer and drinking was sure to cheer you up.

you sat in front of your computer, a random video playing on your screen. you dared your chat that they coudn't send in a video to make you laugh, but if you did laugh that you'd take a shot. it had been about an hour of watching the most unhinged and random tiktoks and you were loosing horribly. a video of a young girl running into a wall flashed across the screen, sending you spiralling into a fit of laughter once again. maybe you felt bad about laughing but your sense of humour was wrecked at this point and coupled with the alcohol any odd video had you wheezing and reaching for the bottle of Bailey's infront of you.

"chat I swear I didn't mean too that doesn't count. i'm not taking a shot! at this rate i'll die of alcohol poisoning before midnight."

the comments started flowing in a majority of them about your new found adventurism, the other half was wondering where arthur was that he isn't supervising you. it was strange that he wasn't hovering in the background making sure you stayed hydrated or preparing your shots when he knew you for a fact that you were gonna laugh. your eyes glossed over the arthur comments trying not to let your mood shift too much, choosing to focus on the funnier comments.

"lilia284 thank you for the sub! and guys arthur is out of the country so..." you trailed off as the comments started on another tangent about where arthur was exactly.

"I can't tell you guys that but when it's released I'm sure you'll all be grateful for the lack of spoilers. now back to the videos and please no more children getting hurt I don't need to be clipped half drunk laughing at children. that's not good for my public image." then the topic switched to your most outrageous moments and you felt that you had successfully evaded the arthur topic and got your emotions in check.

restarting the video, it started with a man running and slipping down the stairs. your headphones playing at almost full volume you failed to hear the sound of the front door clicking open. filming had finished early and arthur wanted nothing more than to go home and lay in bed with you. walking into your shared apartment he looked around, searching for any sign of you before putting his suitcase down next to the door.

"y/n?" he called softly walking down the hall, poking his head into your dark bedroom before turning finding the light coming from your office door. he looked at the door and raised his eyebrows, you usually didn't stream this late perhaps you were doing some work.

then your voice came through, "this isn't fair that was a giggle, I don't deserve to drink for that you people just hate me!"

he stood outside the door confusion evident on his face, he took his phone from his pocket opening twitch. low and behold there you were front and center of his following page. he clicked the icon, just in time to see you poor a shot of Bailey's and down it.

another giggle escaped you lips as you placed the glass down on your desk, a smile making it's way to your lips. at this point you were more than buzzed and you could admit that comfortably. you turned to read off your donations and arthur saw his chance. he opened the chat and sent a 5 dollar donation to be read aloud.

'arthurtv $5 so this is what you do when I leave? I thought we got drunk together?'

your back stiffened slightly as you heard his name, you cleared you thought and smiled at the camera. "hi sweetheart!!" you waved at the camera and from outside arthur stood there smiling for a moment.

"I hope you're having fun and I miss you!" you mumbled, a pout making it's way to your face. then another donation came through.

'arthurtv $5 well if you really missed me you'd come outside!'

your eyebrows knit together as you look between the door and her stream then back to the door. your chat started flooding with messages about going to get your man and a lot of comments along those lines. you said a quick goodbye to your stream before shutting down your PC and turning to the door. arthur stood outside waiting for you to open it, a few moments passed before the door was flung open. you stood Infront of him a stupid smile on your face as you flung yourself into his arms.

"arthur I freaking missed you so much!" he laughed softly, running a hand along your back.

"so you chose to get drunk online?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.

"it was a better idea than laying on the floor and crying."

[chao-thicc-hcs]

OMG PLEASEEEEEE MAKE A PART 2 ON THE BONTEN TRIO SLAPPING THERE S/O, I need to know what happens after sanzu isn't High and drunk🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😞

A/N: I am so sorry I couldn't imagine Sanzu giving a damn that much

Slapping you accross the face | the aftermath

ft. haitani brothers ; sanzu haruchiyo

warning(s): ran's is very lewd in the end, toxic relationship, mentions of drugs (duh), stalking, murder, sanzu is a bitch (shocker), mentions of domestic violence. MDNI, please, or I will cry, blood, weapons,,, and sanzu

!reader is non-binary but there might be a trace of femininity

NOT PROOFREAD, YET!

ran↷

Usually, when you get a taste of something awfully bitter, it fades away and you do not remember it.

This was not the case for our main character here.

Days grew colder, so did his bed, his apartment, his meals, his interactions with others. Behind the facade of a man unbothered by the world around him, carrying a leisure smile and a carefree attitude around his mates, Ran was still a human being.

The loss of someone who carried light within them was heavy. Ran found himself daydreaming everyday while doing his duties - about both of you dancing around your home again, going out on expensive dates, coming back home to your "nagging", having someone to hug and kiss before he falls asleep. Alas, you were gone, far, far away... at least mentally.

Physically, he saw you every other day. He stayed in the shadows, observing your every move and trying to eavesdrop your conversations with friends. You never noticed him again. Maybe because you wanted him gone so badly, or maybe because you couldn't forgive yourself that you were capable of overcoming this.

Ran was unaware of the state you were in. Staying in a relative's place meant getting accustomed to things without your lover. You were like a ghost there, nobody wanting to listen to your words, nobody caring about hygiene, general rules and norms returned you back to when Ran would look you in the eyes with this naughty spark in them, listening to your ramblings as he occasionally hummed to them, to how your shared apartment smelled like a dream, to how he would help you with chores.

Whatever mark the slap left your cheek was now long gone. You couldn't bring yourself to hate this man, even when you were reminded that he was a criminal. It felt like torture being away from him, despite his outburst. It was only that what made you feel despair, but it couldn't overpower the numerous things that man was good for, how he made your life worth it.

Your finger trembled over the "send" button but the desire was stronger and you pressed it with force, then you threw your phone on the other side of the bed.

Being the busy man he is it took him more than two hours to respond, which increased the anxiety brewing inside of you. You kept checking your phone, refreshing the messages, restarting it, even muting the messages and calls of everyone but Ran. The second you heard a notification you rushed to take your phone... it was finally him.

Your shared apartment never felt as suffocating as the first time you got in after the incident. However, in less than an hour, Ran made you feel home again.

He was now thrusting deep inside of you, holding you and squeezing you in a way that gave out how much he's been missing you these past few weeks. The air was filled with the whimpers and moans of both of you. Your bodies were connecting, resonating with one's wavelengths once again. It felt so good being able to kiss him once again, run your fingers in his hair, feel his skin against you. His voice felt like a forgotten melody you re-discovered again, and your voice felt the same to him.

"I am so.. agh.. sorry for hurting you, my dearest.." exclaimed he with a shaky from pleasure voice, his hands squeezing you tight against him, slowing his pace "please, come back to me.."

You placed a finger on his mouth and cupped his cheeks after.

"Don't.. say anything... I have already forgiven you, Ran.. I can't live without you.. this slap will never mean anything in comparison to how amazing of a lover you are... just don't do this again.".

With this the lecherous dance continued... both of you finally being at peace from your reunion.

rindou↷

The dress that he ripped apart was now on the ground, untouched since you last were in the room with him. His only company was the air filling up the room, mixed with the scent of your body mist he occasionally sprayed just to help himself imagine you around him better.

"It's no use, Rindou. You acted like a douchebag, you suffer the consequences. Hell, how could you get jealous of me? Y/n is not even close to my type."

Ran's words rung in his skull, piercing its walls. He was well aware of this fact, he wanted to run away from the guilt, from the responsibilities.

Well, safe to say he succeeded. He blamed you and only you, refusing to acknowledge the truth - that he was the one who hurt you, who suffocated you and belittled you as a human being, who only saw you as a possession. Days went by agonizingly slow, plagued by constant thoughts of you in his arms, his embrace.

It was hard living without you, as hard as swallowing the lump of responsibility that grew bigger in the man's throat.

Every victim of Bonten now looked like you in his eyes, every woman that approached him looked like you. You were impossible to be forgotten so easily, and this is why he wanted to believe that you were somehow a "curse".

Just like any deranged man lacking self-awareness and self-control, Rindou got rid of every person who dared showing romantic interest in you. They either "mysteriously vanished", or were forced by him to tell you that you are "unattractive." All of this was an evil little scheme of his. It all went well, after all. His plan was executed perfectly.

You grew self-conscious. You thought you indeed carried some sort of "curse" inside of you that repelled any potential lover, hell, even a platonic relationship. Gloominess engulfed your consciousness, forcing you to willingly isolate yourself from others, avoiding to create new possible connections with people.

Who knows? Maybe in the end you thought about returning back to him? Fool. Of course you are better than that. You burned everything that man ever gifted you, you got rid of everything that reminded you of his presence, including electronics.

Rindou's satisfaction grew stronger with realizing this. "An angel got its wings chopped, hm? Well, I shall sew them back. Now, precious, come into my arms.."

All of this was futile. You were still back in his embrace. You figured out that now after deeming yourself as a "cursed" individual, there was no use of you fighting for your freedom anymore. Faith has ordered that you shall be his forever - nothing is of power to separate you.

sanzu↷

Your body was aching, your legs were giving up on you after the night spent under Sanzu's manipulation.

He was a god in making you feel good and forgetting the fights you had occasionally because of his dimwit mentality. Empty promises of ditching the drugs and alcohol, of quitting his beloved activity of tormenting innocent citizens.

The clothes scattered on the ground were now curled in a ball in his hands. ''Who gave you the confidence to believe that you had the right over me? Why do you think that your tears have enough power to melt my heart and change me?" his words were poison, his glare was sharp. He made you feel so small by looming over your sitting form on the bed, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. ''You are awfully quiet, doll. Maybe I should be slapping you more often so you stay put, hm?"

A powerful man over your conscience, indeed. Even after the effects of the drugs have worn out. Sanzu was a man who had created his own world, with its own rules inside of it to follow. Mikey was the center of it all, and if you were not him - well, do not expect him to adhere to your whims so easily.

Your naked body shivered under the cold autumn air. It was a hassle getting your clothes on. Sanzu was already leaning on the door frame, piercing daggers in you with his glare. ''By the time I come back home from work, I expect this entire mess to be cleaned.'' spat he, playing with his weapon in his hand ''I deserve to be pampered after you angered me.'' and with this last scoff he left you in the dark room.

''Sanzu...'' you mumbled pathetically to yourself, as if this was going to teleport him back, radically changed. The last string of hope cut itself when the lonely feeling seeped in you.

Running away from that man was the best option you could do, and maybe the worst at the same time, for you never knew how hard the drugs might have hit him this particular evening.

Thankfully, Sanzu was unaware of your presence until the very next morning, when he thrashed everything that caught his eye. Bloody hands gripping his pink locks, tearing some apart, tangling others. ''I will make them pay. No, no, it ain't possible that they've ran away.. right? They can't live without me!" and such tomfoolery echoed in the room he used to share with you.

It was not that he missed you. He missed being able to control someone. Perhaps, physical torment was not his only forte.

There was no trace of you. You'd managed to collect everything from your shared home before fleeing away in another town back to your parents. Sanzu's frenzy was swiftly gone when he understood that you were no different than the next person he was going to court.

However, nobody runs away from Sanzu without any consequences. He found out where your relatives lived and just couldn't resist showing you what a.. ''treasure'' you lost. Weekly, he sent you anonymous ''gifts''. You knew that it was him, because they had most of the time dead animals with a note saying "this could be you~ they ran away just like you did, but they didn't manage to escape~", used lingerie of women he fucked and came on, limbs of his tortured victims, foods he knew you despised...

Fear always remained inside of you, surging in your veins and forcing your heart to jump out of your rib cage. You knew he was insane. You were now living with the thought of him attempting to abduct you.

No remorse nor regret was left in this man's heart, it only opened itself to tremendous amounts of hate, violence, and lecherousness.

©chao-thicc-hcs; reblogs are appreciated

[cameronspecial]

I’m just restarting my Tennis routine again, so maybe you could make like a fluff about Rafe with Tennis player!reader on how he loves her in her short cute tennis fits and everything. just a cute sweet something😆! thank you

Good Luck Charm

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Masterlist

The warming weather in the OBX only means one thing for Y/N and Rafe loves what it brings for him. Not only does it mean she comes to the country club with him more, the purple pleated tennis skirt she wears to play drives him crazy. He loves tennis season and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. Before dating her, he never used the club's tennis court. Now, every time he goes to the club with her, they play at least a round on the green rectangles. 

 “Rafey, are we almost done?” she whines from the cart. He takes note of where the ball lands and turns to her with a smile, “Almost, Baby. I just have three more holes. Think you can handle that?” A small pout falls on her face and her fingers play with the hem of her skirt. She rubs the fabric against each other. “I guess, but it’s getting a little late and if we get lunch before hitting the court, it might be a little hot once we get on the court. I have to practice my backhand.” He can see the worry in her eyes. He knows she doesn’t love playing later in the afternoon because there are a lot of people on the court and the heat causes her to get a little cranky. She grins as he makes his way over to her. His lips meet hers and he sets his club back into the bag. “Okay, then we can head to lunch now. It’s all good, Baby. I’m going to go get the ball and we’ll go.” She jumps with a small clap, causing her tits to bounce. His eyes follow its movements. “Thank you so much. I love you,” she thanks. 

———

After lunch, Rafe runs to the car to grab their rackets. The soles of her white Addidas that Rafe bought her slap against the green pavement as she runs over to him. She jumps into his arms with her arms wrapping around his neck. He picks her up by her waist for a second and puts her back down. Once he sets her down, he taps her bum to get her moving toward her side of the court, loving that her short skirt means the tips of his fingers can touch the skin of her bottom. He flicks his chin in her direction, “You start. And if you win, I may have a little something for you.” Her eyes sparkle at the teasing of a surprise and she eagerly nods. She bounces the ball against the floor, throwing it up in the air once her mind is in the right mind frame. Her racket makes contact with the ball and sends it across to him. The game has begun. 

———

With the ball hitting just outside of the line, a point is awarded to Y/N and she wins the game. “Yaayy!” she screams, jumping up and down with the racket in her hand. She runs over to Rafe and throws herself into his arms. “Congrats, Baby! You always do,” he felicitates. He peppers kisses all over her face and she giggles. She rests one hand on his shoulder and holds the palm up of her other one, “You owe me a gift, Rafey! You promised.” He chuckles, setting her down on the ground. He fishes into his pocket and pulls something out. “Close your eyes, Baby,” he orders. Her eyes flutter short and she feels him lift her hand into his. A weight falls on her wrist. Excitement fills her as she has an inkling of what it is. She has been hitting at it all year. His lips touch the shell of her ear, “You can open them.” Her eyelids pull apart and the Tiffany Victoria Line Bracelet gleams back at her. “Awww! Thank you, Rafey.” She smears his face with kisses, leaving her lip print all over his face. “What is it for?” His head tilts to the side, “I don’t need an occasion to spoil my girl, but if you really want one, then think of it as a good luck charm. I may not be able to be physically there for all your games, so this can be a reminder of how much I love you and am rooting for you.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[five-bi-five-mind]

Can i request toxic ex!wanda trying to get reader back no matter what it takes after doing her wrong and not knowing her worth? And reader just being extremely mad and done with wanda. I'd love to be manipulated by her 🥰🤝

Me & the Devil

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Genre: Dark fic (seriously dark!!) + Smut & Angst

Words: 11.5k+

Summary: It took everything ounce of strength you had to leave Wanda behind. When you did you tried your best to rebuild a life for yourself without her. You had a new career in a city far away and you were trying to restart your love life too. Only it was going horribly for you so far. Until Kate Bishop happened. Was she going to be the person to finally get you over Wanda? You thought so, until Wanda showed up at your door. And when she did, nothing prepared you for the measures she took to get you to let your guard down...

Warnings: toxic!Wanda; strap-on use (r receiving); face-fucking/riding (Wanda receiving); unhealthy relationships; oral (Wanda receiving); fingering (r receiving); choking; dub-con; kidnapping; non-con voyeurism kinda; alcohol mention; stalking; top!Wanda; bottom!r; dom/sub dynamics; tiniest bit of mommy kink...

A/N: lol this is the darkest thing I have ever written... you said toxic ex!Wanda and I really gave you toxic. Maybe it's not quite the request you asked for but... oops. But seriously folks take the warnings serious!! And tell me if I need to add more.

It happens almost every single time. You were starting to think there might be something seriously wrong with you to be ghosted so often. This was a pattern at this point: You’d connect with someone and meet up for a date. The date, in your mind, would go amazingly. Both of you would laugh and chat and they’d usually be the one to say something like “let’s do this again” and you’d happily agree. But then after you both part ways and a few days pass there’s no text, no call, no signs of following up on that hopeful promise to meet again. You’d text them once, maybe twice if you really felt strongly about meeting, but still you’d be met with nothing. You got ghosted. In the past six months, this has happened way more times than you’d like to admit. The first two times, you could convince yourself that they just weren’t that into you. It wasn’t you, it was probably them. But then it kept happening and happening and happening. How long could you say it wasn’t you? What were you doing to repel so many people? 

After the last date you went on and then were subsequently ghosted, you were really considering giving up hope. But then somehow you got convinced to try again. This time it was a little different though. It wasn’t someone you met on a random dating app or a girl who happened to randomly pass her number to you at a coffee shop or a bar. No, this time it was someone you actually kind of already knew. It was someone you worked with, someone you already had a sort of established friendship with. 

Usually, you’d be hesitant to agree to dating someone who had a professional relationship with you. Not to mention, she was kind of above you in the chain of command at your work. But when Kate Bishop waltzed right up to you and asked you out she was so charming and kind. She reassured you she would understand if you said no and that nothing would be weird if it didn’t work out. She smiled at you in the most endearing way and never failed to make you laugh even from your very first day working with her. Why wouldn’t you say yes? Honestly, you were just shocked she saw you as anything more than a work friend. So yeah, you decided to agree to a date. After all, it would be incredibly hard to ghost someone you have to see regularly at work. If things didn’t work out, she promised you’d still be friends and it wouldn’t affect the workplace. And while, yeah, a lot of people probably say that, you really believed that she meant it.

Prepping for the date had you honestly giddy this time. You asked some friends to accompany you to the mall so you could buy a nice outfit. When you asked what the date would be, Kate gave you the name of an entirely too expensive restaurant. She promised it would all be on her dime, no matter how much you protested. Her exact words were that she wanted to “sweep you off your feet” and you couldn’t help the blush that reached your cheeks when she said that. So, if you weren’t paying then the least you could do was invest in something nice to match the place she was taking you to.

Honestly, you were actually really excited about all of this. You had never thought of Kate as more than just a coworker, but you were really ready to see where this night could go. It felt like a turning point for you after all you had been through. Six months of getting ghosted was one thing, but all of that really added salt to the wound that was your horrible breakup that happened prior to all of those failed dates. This would be different though, at least you hoped. While you didn’t get to know all the other people who ghosted you well enough to know their character, you did know Kate. She was almost the exact opposite of your ex. She was kind and patient. She wasn’t so damn serious all the time either. Wanda was… well, you didn’t even know where to start. She was cold, she was controlling, and more than anything she had a darkness in her that put you on edge. She didn’t seem to listen to you and only wanted to pay attention to what you had to say when you said that you were leaving her. It was like all you were was a toy to her and it made you miserable. The fights you two had towards the end still shook you. When you and Wanda got together it all happened so fast. One day she saw you and then suddenly she was everywhere. In a blink you found yourself in a relationship with her and you didn’t even know how it all happened. 

Not that you didn’t want to be with her. You had loved Wanda. You had loved her so profoundly, so deeply, so painfully that it was all you knew when you were with her. But then she grew different. More controlling, less caring. After a while you realized it wasn’t the healthiest situation to be in and you begged her for a change. Maybe you would’ve stayed and even dealt with her temperamental nature if she at least opened up to you, but it just didn’t feel like an equal relationship. She expected too much from you with nothing in return. It didn’t feel like love anymore, it felt like ownership. That change you pleaded for never came, so finally you pried yourself away from her.

The thing is, you knew once you left Wanda, you really had to leave. It wasn’t just that you packed your stuff and found an apartment. It was that you picked up your whole life and moved it to another town across the country. You found yourself an apartment and a job before you even left to make sure you had stability and wouldn’t chicken out. That was ten months ago. It took you four to feel like even trying to get back out there. Even though it went rather horribly up until now, with Kate, you thought maybe you could be ready for something real again. 

Except, when the night you’d found yourself eagerly waiting for came and went with no sign of Kate, all those thoughts of restarting your romantic life plummeted. You had gotten to the restaurant, donning the beautiful dress you had bought for this very night. Bragging wasn’t really your thing, but as you got ready and gave yourself a once over in your apartment, you thought to yourself that you had this in the bag. If she was going to sweep you off your feet with a nice night out, you were gonna make her jaw drop with the way you’d make your entrance. 

Admittedly, you were early to the restaurant than Kate requested you meet her at. She had a reservation for the both of you so when you walked in you immediately asked to be seated. You couldn’t help the way you fiddled with the silverware in front of you as you anxiously waited for her to slide into the chair across from you. Only when the agreed upon time came and went, you felt that pit in your stomach that said your hopes were about to be shattered. At first you told yourself it was Kate, she was often a little bit late to just about anything. But then ten minutes passed and then twenty and suddenly you were feeling embarrassed and sick to your stomach and furious all at the same time. You paid for the glass of wine you had ordered and nervously sipped on before walking out of that gorgeous restaurant that promised a fabulous meal with nothing but an empty stomach. 

You weren’t sure if it was the wine that you had mixed with a lack of food or the fact that your eyes were already tearing up in anger just the tiniest bit when you told the waiter you wouldn’t be eating, but you weren’t pleased. As you stormed your way out of that restaurant and waited for an uber to take you home, you didn’t hesitate to shoot Kate what was probably the tenth text in a row. Each one was a little more angry than the last. Of course, it didn’t start out angry. Your first few were concerned but a little joke-y, but then when it became apparent she wasn’t anywhere to be seen, well, then you didn’t hold back too much. 

What was work going to be like when you finally saw her on Monday? You had this naive little idea in your head that you and Kate would hit it off so well that she’d want to spend the whole weekend with you. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you really thought you could predict that you and Kate would fall into this crazy, cliche romantic relationship after what was supposed to be a dazzling first date. Honestly, you had kind of expected to not be going home alone, or maybe not going home at all. Kate even joked as much when talking about what to expect for this date. You had rolled your eyes at her bluntness, but if you were being honest with yourself it had given you a little thrill. 

All of that is gone now. The uber picked you up and dropped you off and all the while you somehow managed to keep it together. The tears that threatened to slip through back at the restaurant had been restrained as you sat alone in the back of the car and blankly stared at the thread of messages you had sent to Kate. They all sent, but the last message to be read by her was the one you sent saying you were on your way. Fucking typical, she chickened out at the last second and couldn’t even tell you to turn around.

The more you thought about it as you climbed the stairs of your apartment complex, the angrier you got until you could tell the emotions you were holding back were starting to overflow. Damn, you had been actually excited for this night. Yeah, when you matched with people and agreed to a coffee date with the others you had a little excitement for them too, but not like this. Not like Kate. She felt like this beacon in the darkness that was the last ten months. She felt like she was the one to pick up the pieces from what your last relationship did to you. How could you have been so wrong? 

Now, instead of having a crazy romantic night like you had hoped, you were going to change out of your gorgeous outfit and fall apart alone in your bed in your coziest pair of pajamas. It was a pathetic way to spend the evening, you thought to yourself as you got closer to your unit. How could it possibly get any worse?

“(Y/N),” A familiar voice said from right behind you as you approached your door. You hadn’t realized anyone was even behind you as you made your way to your apartment, so the presence of anyone was going to make you jump out of your skin. But when you heard your name being called your blood ran cold and alarm bells went off. Surely it couldn’t be who you think it is…

You whipped around so fast it made you lose your balance on your heels. A hand shot out quickly though, wrapping slender fingers around your elbow and steadying you. “Hey,” the voice said and you swallowed hard. 

Now that you were face to face, the source of the voice was exactly who you thought it was. Wanda stood there entirely too close to you, with her hand still wrapped around your arm. All you did was gawk at her, in utter disbelief of the turn the night just took. If there was anyone you were expecting to show up, it was certainly not her. You had hoped, as you made your way back home in disappointment, that Kate would be waiting right outside for you. Of course, knowing your luck these past few months, it was the last person you’d ever want to see showing up after such an awful night. 

The circumstances alone made you want to double over in fits of laughter. It was all so just on point with how your life has gone since you left her. Of course Wanda would show up after yet another failed attempt to move on from her. It only feels even more like a cruel joke from the universe that she shows up before you can get home and wipe your face of the frustration tears that you shed as you stomped up the stairs to your apartment. 

It took you a moment to realize that Wanda still had her hand on you and you ripped yourself away from her as if her touch suddenly burned. She didn’t seem phased by your actions, but instead was wearing a surprisingly soft expression. It seemed to add to your embarrassment and frustration. 

There was a moment where you thought maybe you should say something. Right now, the only one to speak was Wanda and all she had to offer after showing up out of nowhere was a measly “hey” so there was a lot that needed to be said right now. For starters, maybe you should ask how the fuck she found you. It wasn’t like when you two broke up you readily gave her your address. In fact, you didn’t tell her much of anything when you left. You knew she had a business trip scheduled for the same time every quarter. So, you took her absence as a means to pack your stuff in a flash and leave. It was that trip that allowed you to prepare, you had given yourself a deadline to find a job and an apartment and leave and that’s exactly what you did. The only thing Wanda knew when she left for that trip was that you were incredibly unhappy with her, to which she just rolled her eyes as she walked out the door. That was the last time you saw her. 

As you settled into your new place the same day Wanda was returning for her trip, you had left her a note and that was it. When that first night alone without Wanda came, you knew she saw the letter. There was one call from her that lit up your phone that night. You ignored it and that was that. She didn’t leave a message and to your surprise, she didn’t try again. 

You thought the book was closed on that relationship after that. Apparently, tonight as she stood right in front of you for the first time in almost a year, you were very wrong about that fact.

“What do you want, Wanda?” You cleared your throat as you spoke. It was rough, you were trying to sound strong and demanding. But after fighting back the urge to sob the whole car ride home, your voice wasn’t coming out the way you wanted. 

“It’s been awhile,” She gave you a small smile, but you didn’t miss the way she absolutely dodged that question.

“Why are you here?” You pressed again. Although, you honestly weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the answer. There were two reasons for that. The first being, you were in a vulnerable state and just wanted to crawl into your bed and lick your wounds. The second being, again, you were in a vulnerable state and if she said the right things she could take advantage of that. She always knew to say the right things. Being near her right now was dangerous. Not only because you were so unprepared to see her again, but because you were feeling so utterly hopeless and your pride was, at this point, completely shattered. 

“I wanted to see you.” Wanda still had that hesitant smile on her face. She looked down at you as if she was actually nervous. Like she was trying to approach you with the utmost caution in fear that you would flee at any second. She wasn’t entirely wrong to think that either, because you were ready to run. Except, she was standing right at your doorstep, so where exactly would you run? You could close the door in her face and lock her out, but you knew Wanda. She was nothing if not persistent. 

There was no response to that statement that would make you feel any stronger or even saner. You wanted to keep your dignity, even if you already looked pretty distraught. So instead you just exhaled, long and slow, before turning to your door.

What was your game plan right now? You couldn’t really tell. It was going to be a horrible decision if you let Wanda take one step inside your apartment, but you had a feeling that was her ultimate goal. Right now, you were running through different things to say. All you could really land on was pleading with her to meet you another day, when you’re less upset and tired. Maybe if you promised her you’d meet with her she would agree. Of course, knowing Wanda, if you said you’d grab coffee and catch up (which is a much friendlier way of putting what would inevitably be a very awkward conversation) she would hold you to that. But anything would be better than letting her slink right on in through your front door.

“Let me help you with that.” Wanda was directly behind you now, her hand reaching out to touch yours. You didn’t realize your hands were shaking so hard until you were trying and failing to get your house key into the lock. The way her hand wrapped around yours as she steadied it and guided the key in, surprisingly helped ground you. It was the familiar touch, even if it was brief and innocent, of her hand on yours that suddenly felt like you were able to catch your breath. 

It was like a shock to your system and now all your nerve endings were finally waking up from a long sleep. It was a weird rush, no matter how brief, to feel with the warmth of her palm pressed to the top of your hand. Accompanied with that was the buzz that you always felt when she was in your personal space as she leaned closer to you from behind. And just like that, once the door was open, her hand slipped from yours and it was all gone.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a minute and took a deep breath. The rush of feelings with just that small of a touch from Wanda was not a good sign for you and definitely not a good sign for your will power either. 

Wanda waited patiently behind you as you began to take the first step into your own apartment. To your surprise, when you turned back around to face her, she hadn’t crossed the threshold. Knowing Wanda, you had expected her to push her way in, to already have one foot in the door as she convinced you to let her stay. But no. Not this time. Instead, Wanda stood there patiently, her eyes boring into yours as she studied your face.

She still had the posture and facial expression of someone who was trying to be incredibly delicate. It was as if she was totally aware that she was walking on eggshells and, for the first time since you’ve known Wanda, she actually cared not to misstep. You were surprised to see her at your doorstep tonight of all nights, but even more so you were in complete disbelief at how patient she was being. If you were to have bet your money on anything, it would have been that the next time you saw Wanda she’d tear you a new one. Maybe she’s changed. Maybe this is why she didn’t contact you after that first night when you left. Was there hope that she could’ve taken a step back and looked at the way she treated you? Why did your brain automatically go to this idea that she actually took the last ten months to work on herself and now she was back to apologize and show you she’d grown? 

Your last thought shot anxiety straight through your veins. That was a slippery slope your thoughts were going down. A slope that might lead into you crashing painfully into the emotionally unavailable wall that was Wanda Maximoff. Except, she was still waiting there, with bright shining eyes that told you she was just relieved to finally see you again. And you, well, you were just standing there in the gorgeous dress you spent way too much money on for a girl you’d known for ten months who didn’t even have the decency to text a rejection to you after promising you the night of your dreams. So why not let the woman who did actually show up and was trying to be kind to you in for the evening? And what’s one more glass of wine? At least this time you’d have company so you wouldn’t just be drowning in your pain and humiliation. 

“Do you…” You paused for a moment watching Wanda’s face for any signs of insincerity or some kind of nefarious plan. She looked back at you with nothing but a soft smile and hope in her eyes. “Do you maybe want to come in for a bit? We can- I dunno… talk?”

“I’d love that.” And just like that you watched as she entered your apartment. When you got this place you had made one promise to yourself and that was to never let Wanda in if she ever found you. You had thought that the minute you’d let her back in she’d consume your life all over again. But here she was, at your doorstep, acting like a completely different person and suddenly that promise to yourself went out the window. You were so taken aback by her patience and gentleness with you in the brief time you’ve been reunited that you didn’t think to ask one important question. How the fuck did she find out you lived here?

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, she just never showed?!” Wanda leaned back in shock as you nodded vehemently. You two were currently sitting on either side of your couch, with half a bottle of wine already gone through. It had started out as small talk once she entered your apartment. Yes, it was awkward at first, but at least the wine had loosened up some of your nerves. Wanda seemed more relaxed than you had ever seen her. You never thought you’d be describing her this way, but she almost seemed bubbly. It was like a whole new Wanda was sitting right next to you and you were loving everything you were seeing.

The conversation stayed on you the whole time, which also was a bit surprising. Wanda wanted to know how you were doing and even praised you for how independent you had become. It was shocking, but with every proud smile she gave you, you felt your heart swell with pride for yourself as well. 

Somehow, eventually, Wanda asked you why you were so dressed up. That’s when you were surprised by the wave of guilt that hit you in the gut. You shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s been almost a year, so there was nothing to feel remotely bad about. Except, when she asked you that question, you looked down at your lap and fiddled with an invisible string while you mulled over possible ways to respond in a way that made you feel less ashamed.

To your utter surprise, Wanda didn’t even flinch when you decided to tell the truth and confess that you had a date with your coworker who didn’t show. Instead, the part that made her so emotional was the fact that Kate stood you up in the first place, not that you would have a potential new romantic partner that wasn’t Wanda. Where was all the possessiveness she usually showed? You haven’t had the chance to ask Wanda what she had done in these past ten months apart, but you had a feeling you were in for a long, inspiring story about how she’s ready to be a better woman. Even if you didn’t know the full story, you could see in the way she was upset for your pain and only your pain that she had really grown. It was this change that had you so mesmerized by her. It was this display of compassion for your bad night that had you scooting closer to her until your knees were touching. And when Wanda’s hand, after waving in shock as you admitted that you still haven’t gotten a single text from Kate, had innocently landed on your bare knee just below where your dress ended, you didn’t move it. 

“Well, she’s made a huge mistake,” Wanda shook her head. “I mean look at you…” The hand that wasn’t on your knee motioned to your whole body. 

“I know! I paid a lot for this dress, you know.” You giggled, shocked that the sting of tonight’s rejection wasn’t quite as strong as it was a few hours ago. 

“And it was worth every penny.” Wanda’s eyes darkened slightly as they raked up your body. “You look… fucking incredible.” Her voice was slightly lower as she said those last two words and suddenly you felt something shift. It was like something heavy filled the air, an electricity that was almost too much to bear.

Wanda looked back up and locked eyes with you. That gentleness that you had seen all evening was replaced with something else and suddenly you realized you were currently standing on a metaphorical cliff, one more step and you were about to fall right back into Wanda. 

But then she leaned forward and you found yourself leaning too. She was right there next to you, with barely any space separating you two. The smell of her familiar perfume suddenly felt stronger and had your head swimming. The warmth that radiated from her presence was blanketing your entire body, and all you wanted to do was close the gap. Why not jump off that cliff? Obviously, nothing else you’ve been doing has worked so far. This was a sign, the girl you were excited for didn’t even have the respect for you to show up, but who did show up? Wanda. And the whole time she’s been sitting and listening and not pushing anything. She’s changed, that’s what you wanted. You had told her as much when you had all those arguments up until the end. Sometimes it takes a major leap for someone to right their wrongs finally and that seems like what was going on here. That’s what you hoped was happening. So why not indulge? You closed the gap.

The way Wanda let you come to her was surprising. Old Wanda was usually too guarded to let you take the lead, but she was letting you now. Your lips met hers in a hesitant kiss at first, but soon it grew into more. It was familiar and new all at the same time. You surged forward and tangled your hands in her hair and all the while Wanda let you. When you leaned back, pulling her with you, your lips still connected, she happily followed until she was hovering over you. Not once did either of you break the kiss. It was soft, but still had a hint of desperation on your part. Wanda let you take the lead, with your tongue tentatively running against hers when her lips parted for you.

While Wanda’s willingness to let you take the lead shocked you, she still showed that she was enjoying the kiss just as much as you were. When your head met the arm of the couch and Wanda’s body came with you as you leaned back, you felt the way she rolled her body into yours. It was a subtle movement, but you could tell it was her way to get as much contact between the two of you as possible. Meanwhile, the more Wanda pressed her body down against yours, the more your dress rode up. You were so lost in the way Wanda’s lips felt on yours that you jumped when you felt her knee press between your legs. That act felt like someone pouring ice cold water straight on your body.

“Wait!” Your voice was muffled by the way Wanda was still trying to kiss you, but when you pulled back she stopped. Your hands moved down to push at your dress, trying to cover more of you as Wanda shifted her weight so she could still hover over you but get some distance from your face.

For a moment, as you looked up at her, both of you breathing hard from the intensitive of it all, you thought you saw a flash of anger appear in her face. It was brief. A blink and you’ll miss it kind of moment, but you swore you saw it. It was like a crack in the perfect Wanda that sat with you all night. You had stopped the kiss because you thought it was going too far for one night, but when you did you were hesitant if it was the right call. Now, even though admittedly you could be wrong, you were glad you stopped. 

If there was one thing you recognized on Wanda, it was the look she’d get when things didn’t go exactly the way she wanted them to. When you pulled back, it was such a brief moment, but you could’ve sworn you saw that familiar look. But then she was looking back down at you again with that gentleness you had seen all night, except this time things felt different. It was like all the warning bells were going off in your brain now. Something inside your mind told you that you had fallen into a trap and now you were too far into it to get yourself out.

But then another part of your brain wanted so desperately to shake that off. She had been so gentle with you, so kind and caring. It was a whole new side of Wanda and it was one that you had dreamt of for so long, especially in the early months after your break up. It wasn’t even like she was the one who started the kiss. You kissed her. Not only that, but you were the one to pull her on top of you. It wasn’t like it wasn’t enjoyable. It was everything you missed. It was fucking fantastic. Still, something told you to watch your back. 

You were trying so hard to shake that paranoia off. It was probably just a new form of trust issues you’ve developed after being rejected constantly for the last six months. Yeah, that’s what it had to be. Right? 

A moment passed and neither of you had moved after you had tried to push Wanda back. She remained hovering over you and suddenly you felt so small lying there beneath her. Finally, you pressed a hand to her chest, trying to indicate to her to move off you. She didn’t budge.

Instead, she stayed there, staring down at you. The look of anger never came back, but that gentleness wasn’t there either. It was all replaced with an emotion you couldn’t quite place as she cocked her head and flicked her eyes to where your hand pressed against her before looking back at your face. 

It seemed like she was calculating something. Like Wanda was trying her hardest to plan her next move with you and was weighing her options. It was in that very moment that you realized the gentleness, the patience, the lack of anger when you told her you had tried to start dating again, all of that was an act. She really was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and she had you pinned right now. 

A shiver ran down your spine as that realization sunk and it did not go unnoticed by Wanda. It was like a spark that lit a fire in her, when she saw you react like that. You were helpless underneath her and that was all it took for her innocent facade to melt completely away. She leaned back down, attacking your lips with her own in an instant. 

Your hands braced against her chest as she leaned back down, putting more of her weight onto you as she kissed you. Every alarm was going off in your mind as she kissed you with an intensity that had you spinning. Your mind told you to push back, to make her stop, but then it was always this shift in Wanda that got to you. She was kissing you with that same passion that had you weak at the knees. You always hated how possessive she was with you in public, but in private it always had you reacting in a way that you really should’ve felt more shame for. And she was kissing you with that same, desperate, possessive energy you wished you didn’t miss. 

The hands that were bracing Wanda’s chest were now grabbing at the fabric of her shirt as her tongue licked into your mouth. Her knee went right back to where it was, pressing in between your legs. You groaned against her mouth when she pressed it a little harder and you could practically feel how smug she was when she felt your hips roll onto her leg to gain more contact. 

Wanda pulled back on her own this time. You were breathing hard and you could tell your face was flushed from how worked up you were just from a little bit of contact and her kiss. “This is going better than I thought it would,” Wanda let out a low chuckle as she knelt above you. You gave her a skeptical look as you tried to catch your breath. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight, but I guess I didn’t need to try too hard to remind you.”

“Wh- What are you talking about? Remind me?” You stammered, your head swimming.

“That you’re still mine,” she hissed.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit you. None of tonight with her had been real. She hadn’t changed, you had just felt sorry for yourself and were vulnerable so you let yourself dream and pretend. Now, you were facing the consequences of your actions. You had fallen back into Wanda and backpedaled on every little bit of healing you had done after leaving her. The worst part was, as she looked down on you with such self-satisfied triumph, you weren’t sure if you could claw your way back out again.

You sat up then, trying to squirm your way out from under Wanda. She didn’t move, but she did let you. When you tried to stand from the couch, it felt like your legs were going to give out from under you. She had you so disoriented from her whole act that you could barely stand on your own two feet. 

“I think…” You kept your eyes glued to the floor as you spoke. “Wanda, I think you should leave.”

“Oh?” Wanda cocked her head to the side as she stood up too. You had taken a few steps away from the couch, but Wanda was quick to rid you both of the distance you had so desperately tried to create. “I don’t think that’s what you really want.”

“Yes, it is.” You weren’t convincing. Anyone would be able to tell you were two seconds away from buckling again and begging for forgiveness. This whole scenario felt disturbingly familiar. 

“I don’t think so,” Wanda taunted. She took another step towards you and you stood there frozen. “I think you’re dying to beg me to stay.” The once exciting charge in the air changed even more until all you felt was the painful buzzing in your ears as your body shook with an excitement you were trying so desperately not to acknowledge. It was impossible to ignore though, especially when Wanda was stepping up into your space again, brushing her whole body against you as she slipped behind you.

“No…” you whimpered your response to Wanda, but even you knew you sounded pathetic.

“Shhh,” Wanda cooed. Her hands moved to brush hair from your neck before you felt the tips of her fingers dance on the exposed skin. You still stood there, locked in place, trying to hold back a shiver as Wanda’s lips pressed to your neck from behind. Your eyes screwed shut when you felt her brush them up to your ear. Her breath against the shell of your ear made you shiver and your hands balled into fists. “Do you really want to be alone tonight?”

She was turning your vulnerability against you. Of course you didn’t want to be alone tonight. But did you really want to spend the night with your apparently still toxic ex-girlfriend? As much as you wanted to say fuck no, you did. God you wanted her. Maybe you had never really even stopped wanting her.

You didn’t have to answer for Wanda to know exactly what you were thinking. She had her hooks into you and you were hers again. Or maybe you were always hers and even when you were free from her you never really were. With how easily you fell back into her after almost a year, you were starting to think you were really overestimating how much progress you made.

Wanda’s lips brushed your ear before you felt her hands on you now. They were making their way up your body, starting at your waist and moving to your chest in a way that almost made you feel manhandled. “You’re going to have to convince me,” Wanda’s voice was sickeningly sweet in comparison to the way she groped and squeezed at your breasts through your dress. 

“Get on your fucking knees,” Wanda growled, the false sweetness leaving her voice and being replaced with a demand that had you jump. To your surprise it was like your body was compelled to do exactly as she said. You dropped to your knees and she stopped in front of you. The grin that spread across her face was menacing enough to make you gulp. She had a glint in her eye that told you any sort of soft, caring charade she had when she appeared at your door was long gone. No, that was all an act to get you to invite her in and invite her in you did. Now you were at her mercy and the thrill of that was clearly getting to the both of you.

As ashamed as you should be to have fallen back into Wanda Maximoff like you said you never would, you couldn’t help but feel anything but nervous anticipation. She licked her lips as she looked down at you. You squirmed under her gaze as you knelt there. Wanda took another step up until she was towering directly above you. Her hand shot out and immediately tangled in your hair, yanking your neck not-so-gently to look directly up at her. She smiled at you, all her teeth showing as she smirked. “Good girl.” She purred. 

Wanda’s hand moved from your hair to stroke down your cheek until she reached your lips. You stared up at her, utterly frozen, as she traced your lips with her fingers before uttering one word. “Open,” she demanded and you did exactly that without hesitation. Two fingers slid into your mouth, the whole time she never broke eye contact. Your body was trembling slightly from where you knelt in front of her and as her fingers pressed down on your tongue you instinctively began to suck. 

A sadistic chuckle left Wanda’s lips as she looked down at you. “Looks like you haven’t forgotten your place.” Her voice was low, threatening almost. Your face flushed, but it was like your brain wasn't in control of your body anymore. Suddenly, you were on some kind of autopilot, fulfilling the role Wanda always wanted you to take. The worst part was, you were okay with it. You didn’t realize you even missed it, but then again you caved so easily to her. Of course you missed it. No, actually you craved it. Your whole being ached for it. 

Wanda’s fingers pushed into your mouth a little deeper and you continued to let her. Not once did you break eye contact, even as Wanda’s twisted smile grew. Finally, after a moment, Wanda pulled her fingers from your mouth, only to grab your chin and keep your head tilted upward in a painful position. “It’s too fucking easy,” Wanda sneered.  She let go of your chin then and you took a moment to look down and give your neck a break. 

You didn’t notice then that Wanda was backing up from you for just a second. When you ran your eyes up Wanda’s legs to meet where her hands were you realized she was tugging at the buckle to her jeans. You watched with wide eyes as she undressed in front of you before stepping right back up to you. All the while, your mind was screaming at you to put a stop to this. All you had to do was kick her out, right? So why did you just stay on your knees and stare? 

“Wanda, maybe we should-” You were cut off by the hand that shot out and tangled in your hair again, giving it a hard tug.

“Shhh, baby,” Wanda cooed. “Let me use your mouth for something else.”

You flushed and those alarm bells in your mind sounded louder, but still you reluctantly nodded. There was something deeper inside you that said you needed this. You needed to please Wanda. It felt so horribly wrong to give into this feeling that you thought you had buried deeper inside yourself. But then Wanda was tugging you closer until suddenly you were between her legs, being practically smothered by her already wet pussy and all of those alarm bells silenced all at once. That feeling you thought you had buried got stronger with the way Wanda was rolling her hips against your face and your hands went out to brace yourself on her thighs. As she began to ride your face the moans she was letting out were just spurring that feeling on until nothing felt wrong anymore and everything about tonight felt just so fucking right. 

You were surrounded by Wanda. Her hands held your head still as she fucked herself on your mouth and all you could do was take in every moment of Wanda as she used you. And it was fucking glorious. You didn’t think you could miss something so much and be totally unaware of it. Or, it wasn’t that you were unaware… It was that you got so good at ignoring it that when you finally acknowledged your need to indulge in your Wanda problem it woke back up with a roar. 

Wanda’s hands were tugging hard at your hair as she kept riding your face. She was moaning your name as she moved and you did your best to encourage more of the sounds she was making above you. Your tongue lapped hungrily at her clit as best as you could with each time she would grind down onto you. You didn’t even care that you were being slightly suffocated by her. Wanda was overloading all your senses right now and all you could do was greedily accept it. It was like a fucked up rush of twisted joy was coursing through your veins as she practically fucked your face. She was using you like an object, no ounce of gentleness left in her as she got herself off, and meanwhile you were just happy to be useful. 

The part of your brain that should feel shame for all of this was finally, utterly switched off as Wanda repeated how good you were being for her and how much she missed your mouth when she came all over your lips. Her hips stopped after a moment and she released your hair. You took in large gulps of air you didn’t realize you needed until you felt the burning in your lungs. Wanda also seemed a little frazzled, like the intensity of her own orgasm had taken even her by surprise. But after a moment of catching her own breath, she slipped back into the collected, controlled Wanda you knew. 

“Get up,” Wanda ordered and you did what she said. Your legs felt a bit weak as you struggled to stand, but Wanda was on you in a second, steadying you by the elbow so that you didn’t topple over on yourself. It was the smallest action that didn’t even really mean kindness, but you were so far gone into Wanda again that even that made your heart swell. 

“Take your clothes off and meet me in your bedroom.” Wanda’s hands were back on you, already tugging at your dress and pulling it off for herself without waiting for you to fulfill her request. You did the rest before looking back up at Wanda. She looked at you with an excitement that had you curious. Seeing the curiosity in your eyes she answered before you could even ask. “I have a surprise for you.”

Your eyes scanned the room you two were in. How did she have a surprise when she came here empty handed? 

Wanda’s grin grew wider until you started to feel the drunkenness that came with being with her start to get replaced with something else. “It’s waiting for you in your bedroom,” She winked.

“Waiting in my…” You were trying to connect some dots. 

“Bedroom,” Wanda finished. “Now, come on.” You felt like your whole body had stalled as you tried to think through things. How was there a surprise there left by Wanda? She hadn’t left your sight since she showed up at your door. 

Wanda tugged on your hand and you realized she was pulling you in the exact direction toward your bedroom. Your apartment had multiple rooms: one your office, one your bathroom, and one your bedroom. So how could she possibly know to go to the right one? Your stomach dropped as she tugged you closer. 

You started to drag your feet and Wanda paused for a second, looking back at you with thinly veiled frustration.

“How do you know where my bedroom is?”

“Lucky guess,” She shrugged and you could hear the irritation in her voice.

“Wanda, what’s waiting for me in there?” Your blood ran cold as you asked that question, realizing you were suddenly terrified of the answer. 

“A surprise.” Wanda’s voice was devoid of excitement as she said it this time. You realized she was getting angry and this was your warning to stop pressing. But there were two things wrong with this moment right now: What was behind your bedroom door and how had Wanda been in there without you noticing?

“Wanda, have you…” You didn’t want to ask it, but you had to. “Have you been here before?”

Wanda snorted at that and gave a hard tug on your hand, pulling you with surprising force right up into her personal space. Her hands then moved to grab hard at your hips so that she could press her own bare body into yours without you being able to escape. “Stop acting stupid,” Wanda leaned forward to whisper into your ear, her voice eerily sweet. “I’ve been here the whole time.”

“W-What?” It felt like the air was knocked out of you. Wanda’s nails dug into your sides as she held you there. 

“Did you think I would just let you leave?” Wanda chuckled. “I’ve been here, waiting the whole time. I know you could feel me… Especially at night.” Wanda’s nails dragged up your bare skin. “When you were alone. I know it was me you were thinking of.”

A flush grew on your cheeks and you wondered, with horror, how much of what Wanda was saying was a guess and how much of it was her watching you when you never even knew. 

“Why now then? Why reveal this to me now?” That’s what was really bothering you. Somehow, the rest of this wasn’t surprising. It was on brand with how she was before you left her. Controlling and secretive. She hadn’t changed a bit. Right now, you were shocked and furious, but still you couldn’t silence the fucked up voice deep inside you that said you wer relieved she was back. Wanda was a piece of you that you desperately wished you didn’t need, but as much as you tried to tell yourself you didn’t belong to her, tonight proved that you might always feel that way. 

“Because,” Wanda seemed to be blatantly annoyed with you now. “That girl was getting too close this time.”

Kate. You had honestly forgotten all about Kate. Letting Wanda touch and use you had wiped any thoughts of any other woman out of your mind. In fact, until this moment,  you forgot that you should feel angry and embarrassed for being rejected and stood up. You had just been so lost in Wanda’s return that everything else melted away. But now… Now you weren’t feeling anger towards Kate. No, with the way Wanda spat out the word “girl” as she spoke, you realized she was probably well aware of who Kate was. You were concerned. 

“What?” You ripped yourself from Wanda’s grasp and took a few steps back. “Wanda, what did you do?”

“Only what I had to.” She followed each of your steps with a long stride of her own. “She wanted what’s not hers. I couldn’t have that, now could I?” The way she was looking at you as she cocked her head to the side sent a chill down your spine. Maybe this wasn’t actually the Wanda you knew. Maybe she had changed. When you were together you had seen a lot of sides of her, but not this one. This one made your palms sweat and your stomach turn. You’d never seen Wanda hurt another person, but just because you didn’t see it didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of it. What did she do to Kate?

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Wanda scoffed. “She’s not dead.”

Thank fucking god, you thought. Maybe Wanda was just exaggerating. Hopefully, Kate was just fine. Although, your gut was telling you everything wasn’t quite that simple.

“You’ll see,” Wanda reached out her hand and cupped your chin. Your eyes met hers and you saw the sadistic twinkle in her eye as she grinned down at you. “It’s part of your surprise.” 

You gulped at that, not liking the sound of it one bit. At this point in the night you made a lot of choices with Wanda already that you promised you wouldn’t do and the way she was acting now was making you sick to your stomach. She needed to leave, tonight needed to be over. Tomorrow you’d go to work and hopefully see Kate there in one piece. And if she was then you’d apologize profusely for whatever Wanda did to scare her off from your date. 

“Wanda, you need to leave.” As much as you tried to sound commanding, your voice was weak and shaky. Wanda’s smirk just grew and you realized now she was looking at you like you were her prey and she was about to pounce.

“Now, now,” She tsked as her thumb went up to press against your lips. “It’s really hard to take you seriously when you still have my cum glistening on your lips, pet.” 

You tore your head away from her and wiped at your mouth, as if that would make any difference in erasing what had just transpired between you two. You let her claim you, you let her mark you. You almost let her take you to your bedroom and fuck you senseless until the pain and humiliation of tonight were washed away. Of course, now that humiliation was back tenfold and mixed with it was a gut wrenching fear for Wanda you had never felt before. 

“If I had let that girl show up for your… date,” Wanda practically spit the word out. “Then, you wouldn’t have gotten a taste of mommy’s cum now would you?”

You were speechless. The way she was talking, the way she was acting. Was this how Wanda was all along? It made you scared, so scared that you quaked where you stood. But also… the way she had been handling you all night, claiming you, mixed with the glint in her eyes as she realized she had you right where she wanted you and the demanding tone she was taking… As sickening as it was, it excited you. 

Like a light switch the frustration left Wanda’s face and was again replaced with the excitement she had before. Wanda’s hands were back on you, turning you around and leading you back towards the dreaded surprise that awaited you in your bedroom. Despite what it all meant, you let her guide you without any more protest. “Close your eyes,” Wanda whispered in your ear. “And don’t open them until I tell you to.”

For whatever reason, you did exactly what she said. It was like you were wired to obey her. Like someone else stepped inside your body and now you were doing all the opposite things you should do. Except, you couldn’t blame anyone else but yourself. You knew, this was all you. This was why you ran, because you were Wanda’s little play toy and you wanted to be more than that. At least, you thought you wanted to be more than that. 

The creak of the door swinging open brought you out of your thoughts and you knew your way around your apartment well enough to know Wanda was leading you to your bed. With both her hands on your shoulders, she pushed you down until you were forced to sit on the edge of your bed. Still, you kept your eyes closed. No matter how anxious you were, you were going to be good for her. You needed to be good for her. 

You could hear Wanda take a few steps back from you, but you still had no idea what this surprise was. Something told you, in your gut, that it wasn’t going to be a good one. Yet, still you were so ready to accept whatever Wanda had to give you that, with a wave of shame, you didn’t think you cared whatever it might be. 

“Open them,” Wanda ordered. You opened your eyes slowly, just as you were told. First, you just stared at Wanda. She was beaming as she stood in front of you. Then, you turned your eyes to the side and practically leapt out of your own skin. “Do you like it?”

All you could do was sit and stare. There she was, Kate Bishop, bound and gagged. She was helplessly facing where you sat, restrained on your own office chair. You should’ve felt embarrassed or ashamed that she was seeing you in such a state of undress, but you were still in way too much shock to process much of anything. 

Wanda, in the meantime, was circling the bed. You didn’t really pay much attention to her at this point, still just fixated on the way Kate pulled at her bindings, trying to lean towards you. Kate’s eyes, at first, weren’t even looking at you. They were glaring at Wanda, as if she was trying to break free and protect you. But you knew. You weren’t the one in need of protection. Even in Wanda’s grasp, you knew that in her twisted possessive mind, it wasn’t you she felt threatened by. It was Kate. The woman who, as Wanda saw it, tried to take what was hers. 

You felt a dip in the mattress as Wanda crawled to you from the other side of the bed. Once she reached you, she stopped, kneeling directly behind you. Wanda’s hands came to circle around your waist and you let her. Your mind hadn’t told you to do anything to stop her, to take any kind of action at all. The logical part of your mind told you to untie Kate, but then a larger part of you, the part that told you that you were way too far gone, demanded you don’t displease Wanda anymore. 

Hands moved all over your body, running up and down your sides, groping your breasts, nails leaving marks in their wake. It was causing Kate to practically growl through the cloth muffling her mouth. 

“Oh, look at her,” Wanda pretended to pout as she cupped your chin and turned your head to meet Kate’s desperate eyes. “The poor girl is in love with you. She thought tonight would be the start of some big love story. She was stupid enough to brag about it with anyone who would listen. Too bad she doesn’t know you’re really just a pathetic little thing already ruined by me. Isn’t that right?”

Wanda’s hold on your chin grew tighter and you held back a wince. You knew she was waiting for an answer, but as Kate’s panicked gaze searched your face you felt too ashamed to utter a single word.

“I almost feel bad for her,” Wanda continued when you didn’t speak. “I mean, I can relate. Much like her, I wanted you the moment I saw you too. But she and I have one big difference…” Wanda dropped your chin again and her hands made their way down your body. You let out a gasp when you felt a hand move straight down between your legs and cup your pussy. 

“I already fucking took what I wanted,” Wanda snarled as you felt two fingers enter you. Your hand flew to Wanda’s wrist at the surprise intrusion, but you couldn’t help that your previous gasp had turned into a pathetic moan. “And I’m never letting you have her.” She punctuated each word with a pump of her fingers and you bit down hard on your lip to stop the sounds that were threatening to fall from you. Kate was thrashing in the chair in front of you and your eyes dropped to the floor. Your fingers flexed around Wanda’s wrist, but you still didn’t pull her away. At this point the only thing on your mind was to make her happy, regardless of the horrifying circumstances. Wanda has scared you tonight, she has made you take a giant backstep to which you won’t ever return from and she’s gone to lengths you’d never expect. Except, you were just too far gone now. 

Feeling Wanda inside you again was earth shattering. You’d spent so many nights alone and in those frustrating nights you had told yourself you just wanted somebody, anybody to hold you. That was a fucking lie. You wanted- No, needed Wanda. You were hers and no amount of time or distance changed a damn thing about that. It took one night, less than three hours even for you to fall back into place with her and realize just how deeply you needed to be hers. Wanda’s goal this whole time was to remind you and teach you and Kate a lesson and unfortunately for the both of you, the lesson was learned. You didn’t think you’d ever have the strength, courage, or even sense to leave Wanda ever again after this. 

With Wanda’s fingers pumping inside you and her bare body pressed to your back, your head was swimming. Never mind the poor girl who was forced to watch helplessly. Your eyes squeezed shut at the magnitude of shame you had for enjoying this as much as you were while Kate looked at you with what was possibly the most heartbreaking expression you’d ever seen. 

Before Wanda could make you cum she withdrew her fingers. You couldn’t help the whimper that left your lips at that, but quickly bit your lip again to keep from making too much noise. With the circumstances, it felt wrong to be enjoying all of this as much as you did. but this was Wanda. The one person who knew your body better than anyone else. Even after almost a year apart, she hadn’t forgotten the way you liked it when she curled her fingers inside you or the way you’d get so wet from her treating you in such a rough manner. 

At one point, when you were with her, you wondered what you had become. Never did you think you’d be someone who let another person utterly own your entire being, body and all. When you left you thought you could free yourself of that. But if you learned anything tonight, it was that you still belonged to Wanda. With the measures she had gone to and the way you kept letting her do whatever she wanted to you, that fact was pretty clear. 

You twisted your head around to see what Wanda was doing, only to watch her reach under your own pillow. What she revealed was very familiar to you; a dark red strap on that Wanda used to love to use on you. She kept it. Your eyes widened as you realized she wasn’t going to let you off the hook any time soon tonight. Or Kate for that matter. 

Your head turned back to Kate who had stopped struggling to stare in shock at Wanda too. For a moment you thought to get up and actually help Kate, if only so she didn’t have to watch what was to come next. Only, it seemed like Wanda knew exactly what you were considering, because she was on you before you could move a muscle. 

With a surprised yelp, Wanda had your body turned and your back hitting the bed in mere seconds. She swung her leg over your body at that and you just stared up at her as her predatory smile slowly turned to Kate. “Look at you,” Wanda was directly talking to Kate now. “This is killing you isn’t it?” Wanda’s hands were slipping under your knees now, bending them so that they could hook around your waist. The toy was lined up and your chest was heaving in anticipation. Anxiety was coursing through your veins, but so was this hard to ignore, appalling feeling of anticipation and excitement for what was to come. For what you missed so desperately. 

You held your breath as Wanda entered you with the toy that you never quite got used to back when you two were together. Now, since you were out of practice, the familiar burn of it stretching your pussy out reminded you of the very first time she used it on you. You squeezed your eyes shut again and couldn’t stop the pitiful groan that left your lips. 

Wanda chuckled from above you before she finally bottomed out inside you. “Was this how you planned to fuck her?” Wanda was still talking to Kate as she began to rock her hips. “Or were you going to be gentle? See the thing with her is… She likes to be ruined.” Your fingers tangled in the sheets as you tried your best to get used to how big her cock was inside you. Your desire for Wanda was completely in control at this point, letting Wanda start a steady pace with no intentions of stopping her. The way you could hear Kate struggling made you feel sick, but the way you never wanted Wanda to stop, despite her presence, made that feeling worse. 

Wanda’s pace kept increasing. Her body bent over you until she was pressed against you. The way she pumped into you was making the whole bed rock and the burn of her practically abusing your pussy had finally turned into extreme pleasure in a way that had your body arching into hers. You had totally given into this feeling now, all thoughts of Kate gone and replaced with how much you wanted Wanda to just keep claiming you in the way that she was. 

“Tell me,” Wanda growled into your ear this time as her hips slowed for a moment. “Do you really think she could fuck you like this?” 

“N-no,” you were trying to catch your breath as you spoke. 

Wanda snapped her hips hard and you immediately cried out again. “What was that? I don’t think she heard you.” 

“No!” You cried. “Fuck! No, only you can. Only you. Only-”

“Shhh, that’s my girl.” Wanda’s hand stroked down your cheek as she picked up the pace yet again. Her hand moved down your jaw until it stopped right on your throat. Her fingers wrapped around your neck and she squeezed. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt you, but still enough to make you struggle to take the much needed deep breathes as she fucked you as hard as she did. 

All sounds of Kate’s struggles were lost on your ears. Your body was trembling and you were two seconds from falling apart all over Wanda’s cock. Wanda was loving every second of it. She was moaning in your ear as she kept fucking you harder, just the sight of you turned her on beyond belief. The way her hand flexed and squeezed slightly more on your neck mixed with the way she was pumping herself into you with such a force had strangled moans coming from you with abandon. It took more strong snaps of her hips before you were falling apart on top of her with a miserable cry.

Wanda’s hips slowed when you came down from your orgasm and her hand left your neck. You took loud, gasping breaths for air. Your body was spent and splayed out on the mattress. Wanda was looking down at you with such a satisfied grin on her face and for a moment all you could think of was wanting Wanda to make you cum again. Except then you remembered.

Your head slowly turned to see Kate still there, bound with tears running down her face. What now? That was the only thing running through your mind. 

Wanda’s hand came back to your chin, turning your head so you were facing her again. The shame that was coursing through your veins again felt louder, more painful. Except she was stroking your cheek, looking down at you with more pride in her eyes than you’d ever seen before. 

“Shhh,” she soothed. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything. Then you and I are going to go somewhere far away.”

You couldn’t help the shiver of fear that ran through your body as Wanda kept stroking your cheek in a gentle way that you hadn’t seen since she first arrived. Something told you that you didn’t really have a choice, but to go. 

A thousand scenarios ran through your mind about what Wanda was going to do with Kate. You felt pity for her and embarrassment at what she had witnessed. 

“I’ll go.” You heard yourself before you could even think about what you were saying. “But let Kate go.”

Wanda frowned for a moment, her hand pausing on your cheek. She looked over at Kate and then back down at you, the frown quickly leaving and being replaced with a conniving. “If I promise to let her go, you must promise to never try to leave again.”

You nodded furiously, taking this one chance to get Wanda to do your bidding. Kate would be free, even if it meant that you sealed your fate. Only, little did Wanda know, after tonight you didn’t think you’d ever have the strength to leave her again. She was the one thing you wanted that you wished you didn’t. She was in your veins, she was your entire being. You were hers completely and nothing, no amount of time or space, would ever set you free. 

You surrendered to Wanda the moment you saw her again. Even if you tried to leave once, you knew Wanda was going to spend a lot of time reminding you that you would never be able to leave again. 

taglist: @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @high--power @storiesofsvu

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[chvnnie]

Jisung couldn’t wait. His knees bounced, trying to distract himself with the track in front of him. Clicking away with his mouse, letting the unheard music play over and over again in his headphones.

Today was the day. Everything would change after two pm. He tried to busy himself around the house; cleaning the bedroom, doing some laundry. Even went out for a jog. So out of character for him.

But when something this big is happening, he can’t control how…different he acts.

SMUT — MINORS DNI

It’s thirty past two. His phone is dry (it doesn’t help that he checked it not even a minute ago). Jisung is starting to get antsy; why hasn’t he heard anything? Have you heard anything? What is taking so long that you can’t even shoot him a quick text. Fuck, he’d take even a thumbs up emoji right now.

Restart the song. Tweak it. Wait. Wait, and wait, and wait—

Until there’s a tap on his shoulder. The headphones are all but torn from his skull, whipping his chair around quickly to come face to face with you.

Jisung’s reaction makes you giggle, hands lovingly cupping his chubby cheeks. “Hi, did I scare you?”

Eyes like saucers, he shakes his head. “Did you find out?”

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, corners turning up into a soft smile. It’s been hard for the both of you, waiting for this clearance. The restless nights, a heavy pit in your stomach that you can’t extinguish. All of it is either painful or uncomfortable, leaving you lying on your belly as you cry into your pillow. Jisung so gently stroking your back, reassuring you that it’s over soon.

The timer has ticked. Time is up.

“I still might be a little sensitive.” You say softly, pushing strands of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail back. “But—“

Jisung has spent all day wasting time. Trying to get the clock to move a little fucking faster. He can’t take anymore waiting. Hands on your hips, he tugs you into his lap, the chair leaning back with your combined weight. Your lips clash, a quick but affectionate motion of tongue and teeth making you both groan into each other. The kisses of relief, of joy. Of knowing that finally, finally the two of you can love each other in ways you only know how.

“Where is she?” Jisung breaks the kiss long enough to ask, though his lips never leave your body. They pepper gently across your jawline, body trembling in his hold. “Do I need to call my mom?”

You giggle. “I already dropped her off with Minho. You’re not the only one who needs this, Sung.”

Four months. Four months and some change since he last touched you, felt you. Back then she wasn’t here yet, your belly warm under his hands as he gently rocked into you. There were so many tears that night, from you and him. Kisses that neither of you could get enough of, enjoying your last moments before you wouldn’t get a chance like this for a while.

While is up.

His grin is contagious, head rolling back against his chair as he chuckles happily. Fuck, he’s so excited. He can’t explain how giddy this makes him — it’s like the first time all over again, but better.

So much fucking better.

“He’ll keep her all night?”

You raise a brow, chuckling as you lean down. It’s your turn to pepper his face with kisses. “Or until we go pick her up. She’s only next door. Why? Did you plan for this to go all night?”

“Maybe. Is that a problem?”

“Hm, no.” Your teeth scrap against his neck, bringing a low moan from him. “But we better get started if that’s the case.”

Seconds. Maybe five. That’s how long it takes before you’re pinned to the ground, a fit of giggles as your partner buries his face in your neck. He’s scrunching up your dress, hands exploring your perfect body. Stretch marks and all — you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

Jisung is so lucky to love you.

Fingers hook around the waistband of your panties right as he looks up at you. Hair fanned around you, bright eyes and a lazy smile. God, he’s crazy about you.

“I’ll take my time later.” He promises, moving the fabric slowly down your thighs. “But right now I just need to feel you.”

You cup his face again, fingers creeping back to release his shaggy hair. It’s frames his face perfectly; chubby cheeks and galaxies in his eyes. The most wonderful person, partner, father. And he’s all yours.

“And I you, my love.”

Jisung smiles before he kisses you, quickly removing your clothes and pushing down his sweats. He grabs the base of his cock, pushing it through your folds slowly to collect your slick. Fuck, you’re so warm, so—

You’re wincing in the kiss when he’s near your entrance, fingers clutching onto your hair.

“Is this alright?” He breaks from your lips to whisper.

You nod quickly, taking a deep breath. “Just be gentle.”

“Of course, petal.” Kisses on the corners of your lips, nose nuzzling against your cheeks. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

A kiss to his cheek is your response. An encouragement to go ahead. Why take it any slower?

Eyes locked, Jisung aligns his cock with your center once more. When you smile softly, that’s when he begins to push in. It’s a slow movement, careful to not cause too much damage as he stretches you out again. But also to take in this feeling, remember how much he fucking loves it. How close to you it makes him feel, how comforting it is to be inside you.

“You feel so nice.” He whispers, smiling down at you. “Is this okay?”

You return the smile. “You can go faster if you’d like.”

Fuck, he’d love to. His hips quicken just slightly, not stopping until he literally has no choice but to. Your jaw drops lazily, pretty moans spilling from your lips. Walls fluttering around him.

Your body is like home. God, how he’s longed for you.

“Fuck.” You whimper, eyes fluttering shut. “Sung, so good—“

“I know.” He says breathlessly, hands flexing around your hips. There are tears stinging his eyes — in all the ways he knows to love you, this is one of the most raw. The most beautiful. The most powerful. It’s earth shattering to be here again, his either chest caving in. It’s the best feeling in the world, one that brings tears to his eyes. “You’re divine.”

He needs a moment. To savor this, to enjoy the feeling of being so deeply connected to you. This. This is love in its purest form.

How could he waste this time?

Tears roll down his cheeks, dropping off his chin on your face. The feeling has your eyes opening, brows narrowing in concern as you quickly wipe his tears away. “Jisung—“

“I’m alright.” He reassures you quickly. “I just—fuck, I just adore you.”

For you, he’d steal the stars.

“I love you.” You whisper, lip trembling as your own tears start to form. “Fuck, you’re my everything, Jisung.”

It’s time to move. His cock is begging him, needing to feel the friction. To feel more of you. Slowly, he pulls out, but not too far. He wants this fragment of time to last.

“And you mine, my love.”

There’s no way either of you will last too long. You’re both well aware of it without even speaking it — it’s been too long. Too much time spent away from each other. It’s like the first time all over again, but in such a different reality. The first time as parents, the first time after such a long time.

There’s more than one first. How magical is it that you get to experience it all with Jisung?

He’s starting to sweat, hands on either side of your head as he picks up the speed just a little bit. There’s a fuzzy feeling in his center, the rope tightening as he gets closer and closer to euphoria.

A hand slides under one of his. Fingers flexing around it. When he looks at you, everything just makes sense.

“With me?”

It’s such an easy answer. “Always.”

[munsonkitten]

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Eddie doesn’t sleep well anymore.

It’s not like he really did before, but it’s worse now. He only catches an hour or two a night before waking up again. Sometimes when exhaustion tugs too heavily at him, he slips away while laying on the couch in front of the TV. It never lasts long.

He tries to blame it on the environment. On the fact that he’s been staying at Steve Harrington’s house for two weeks, on the fact that people come in and out at all hours and leave it impossible to catch any shut eye, on the fact that the bed he’s sleeping on is too firm from disuse, the blankets too scratchy.

He’ll blame it on his pain, the nightmares.

He’ll blame it on anything, even Steve.

Everyone around him seems to be doing just fine. Steve has injuries similar to his own, yet he’s moving around like nothing’s wrong. Everyone else has seen horrible things, but they carry on like it’s another day in their lives.

Maybe it is, but Eddie expected to feel less alone here.

He expected to hear Steve waking up screaming each night from the nightmares that plague Eddie, too. He expected to see Dustin crying a lot, or looking at him differently after Eddie almost died in his arms.

(Did die, he reminds himself. He stopped breathing. Needed Steve to restart his heart. He should have died. He shouldn’t be here.)

He feels like he’s falling apart, but everyone else is here taking care of him like they aren’t hurting, too. Steve is taking care of him and changing his bandages and making him eat like Steve doesn’t have to do those things for himself.

That keeps Eddie up at night. Steve keeps Eddie up at night. For more reason than one.

He lays in his bed in the guest room on Steve Harrington’s ground floor and he stares at the ceiling because sleep isn’t coming. He’s in pain and he can’t stop thinking about Steve upstairs, and wonders if he ever falls apart when he’s on his own.

He has to, right? Steve has to be up there with sleepless nights and deep, aching wounds. He has to see Eddie’s lifeless eyes when he closes his own, has to remember the feeling of Eddie’s still heart beneath his fingertips.

It makes Eddie feel less alone down here to think Steve might be struggling, too. Even if Steve won’t show anyone, least of all Eddie.

Sleep isn’t coming tonight, and Eddie finally feels okay enough to walk on his own, so he slides out of bed as carefully as he can. He makes his way down the hallway to the kitchen and he can see that the light is on. It usually is. The Harrington kitchen is always open for whoever needs it, Eddie’s learned that over the last two weeks.

Tonight, though, it’s not Robin or Nancy or any of the kids sitting at the counter. In fact, no one is sitting in the kitchen tonight, but there’s leftover evidence of someone nearby. There’s a cup of coffee on the table, half drunk and probably cold by now, and the sliding door to the backyard is open.

It’s April and Eddie feels a chilly breeze coming in. He wraps his arms around his bandaged torso and goes toward the door, toward the blue lights of the Harrington’s heated pool. He smells cigarettes and itches for one before he even sees who’s smoking.

He really hopes it’s not one of the kids. He doesn’t think he’d be able to reprimand them for that, not as tired as he is right now.

The patio is cold beneath his bare feet when he steps out, the breeze working its way through his thin pajama bottoms. He turns his head from left to right, looking for the culprit of the 2AM coffee and the cigarette smoke wafting toward him.

There, in one of the pool chairs, Steve is lying. He has one hand covering his eyes, the other slowly bringing a cigarette up to his lips. Eddie watches him take a drag, the rise and fall of his chest as he inhales and exhales again. He watches as Steve’s hand shakes as he brings the cigarette away from his mouth again.

Eddie knows he should turn and leave. This is a private moment, and Eddie feels like an intruder. He’s felt like an intruder for the past two weeks, like he shouldn’t be here.

(He shouldn’t be, he reminds himself. He should be dead. He was dead.)

He knows he should turn and leave, but he can’t. He can only stare.

Steve isn’t wearing a shirt. He’s covered in bandages just like Eddie. If Eddie wasn’t looking at him now, he would think Steve was completely healed already. He’s looked nothing but put together for the past week. Carrying boxes of donated items and helping Eddie in and out of the bath, helping Eddie from bed to couch and back again. He hasn’t shown anyone any less than one hundred percent.

Right now, Eddie is seeing something Steve wouldn’t want him to see.

He can’t leave, though. Something is stopping him from leaving, something selfish is keeping him from turning around and going back to bed.

Seeing Steve like this — vulnerable, sleepless, shaking — makes Eddie feel less alone.

All he’s wanted his entire life is to feel less alone.

He just stands there. Watching as Steve finishes off the cigarette and stubs it out in the ashtray beside him. He watches as Steve sits up to look around for his pack and lighter, watches as he considers another and then sets it down and picks up a glass from the table instead.

As he sips, he finally looks over toward the house, and Eddie feels caught. He knows Steve sees him, even if neither of them react at all. He knows Steve probably thinks he’s a creep, the way Eddie’s watching him like this. Guilt washes over him. He isn’t supposed to watch Steve like this. He isn’t supposed to notice that he’s shirtless, he isn’t supposed to think about how he looks when he smokes.

He expects Steve to tell him to leave. He expects Steve to be mad.

But Steve just picks up a bottle of liquor from the ground beside him and waves it in Eddie’s direction.

“Get a glass from the cupboard if you want,” Steve says.

Eddie just stands there for a second, not knowing if this is a real invitation or if Steve’s just trying to be nice. He’s felt like that a lot. Like being in Steve’s house isn’t what Steve really wants. Like Steve hopes Eddie will say no every time he asks if Eddie wants to watch a movie with him.

“Well?” Steve asks.

So Eddie nods and goes back into the warmth of the kitchen to find a glass. He takes one down from the cupboard and finds a sweatshirt laying over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He doesn’t know who it belongs to at this point. He’s seen everyone from Robin to Nancy to Lucas wear it in the last week. It hangs loose on him when he pulls it over his head, but it’s better than sitting outside shirtless like Steve currently is.

The ground is cold beneath his bare feet as he crosses the patio to the pool chairs. He looks at the one beside Steve and the thought of sitting there in the cold makes him shiver. It’s so far from Steve’s chair and he can’t help but wonder if it would be weird to move it closer.

If it’s weird to want to share in Steve’s warmth.

“Here,” Steve says.

He saves Eddie from making the decision by pulling his feet up and pointing to the empty space of the pool lounger. Eddie sits down on the plastic slots, sitting perpendicular to Steve. Steve shoves his toes beneath Eddie’s thigh and offers the bottle of whiskey to him.

Eddie holds his glass out as Steve pours.

“Can’t sleep?” Steve asks.

Eddie hums in response and takes a sip of his drink. He wants to ask for a smoke, but doesn’t want to mooch. He hasn’t had one in over two weeks, not since Robin threw one into Lover’s Lake and the rest of his pack turned to mush when he fell in himself.

“Me neither,” Steve says. “Haven’t in a while, really.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Eddie says.

Steve snorts.

“No, really,” Eddie tells him. He decides fuck it, and reaches for the pack of smokes on the little glass table beside the chair. He sets his glass down on the ground by his cold feet and pulls a cigarette out. “You’re really, ah, good at this shit, I guess. Good at making it seem easy.”

Steve scoffs and leans forward, his lighter in hand. Eddie puts the cigarette in his mouth and cups his hands around it for Steve to light it. A memory flickers into his mind of dark hair and freckles, someone from another lifetime lighting his cigarette as a way of flirting with him.

With everything else she had to offer him, it had worked, and Eddie’s so exhausted his brain tricks him into thinking that Steve is flirting now, too. His sleepless mind is telling him it would work even better now, that he could make it work with Steve, better than he did with Paige.

“It’s easy to pretend when everyone else is around,” Steve says after a second. He’s still leaning forward toward Eddie, his arms wrapped around his knees. “When the kids need me, I have to be there for them, you know? They expect me to have it all figured out, and hell, I need to pretend like I do. But when I’m alone…”

He trails off.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes.

They sit there in silence for a while. Eddie smokes his cigarette and Steve sips at his drink. It’s cold out, but Eddie doesn’t want to go back inside. He wants to be where Steve is, wants to feel the point of contact where Steve’s toes are shoved under his leg. He doesn’t want to burst the bubble they’ve found themselves in tonight.

It fills Eddie with warmth despite the cold.

“I don’t think you should stay here anymore,” Steve blurts out after several minutes of silence.

And the bubble shatters. All the warmth between them leaks out and Eddie’s left with nothing but the late night chill. He slides away, down to the end of the pool chair, away from Steve’s touch.

“Oh,” is all he can say.

“It’s… I mean,” Steve says. He stumbles over his words, hands moving up to cover his face. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, it’s cool, man. You don’t want me here, anymore, I get it,” Eddie says. He pretends it doesn’t hurt his heart to hear it. He’s looking down at his hands, knowing he’ll start crying if he sees how Steve’s looking at him right now. “Wayne almost has a new place for us, anyway. I can stay with Henderson for a few days, no worries.”

“No, it’s — it’s not that I don’t want you here,” Steve says. “I think, uh — fuck, man. I want you here too much, I think?”

Eddie leans down to put his cigarette out on the concrete. He picks up his glass while he’s down there and brings it to his lips as he sits up again. He doesn’t know what Steve’s saying, or how to respond. Or, more like, he thinks he understands what Steve’s saying, but he’s so tired he doesn’t actually want to make a guess and be wrong about it, because that’s very likely here.

He doesn’t want to think about the lighter or the way Steve’s touch lingers when he helps Eddie from his bed to the couch. It could never mean what Eddie wants it to mean, but now Eddie isn’t so sure it doesn’t.

“You gotta tell me what you mean,” Eddie says softly, looking down into his glass.

“It’s not just the monsters that keep me up at night,” Steve says. “It’s not just the nightmares or the fear that everyone I care about is going to die. It’s not — it’s not just Max in her coma, it’s not the chunks of flesh taken out of my skin, it’s — god, all that seems easy sometimes. That all makes sense, as fucked up as that is. I’ve been going through this shit for years, I can — I mean, I’ve handled it, and I still do, it’s just…”

Eddie sits there listening to Steve. He lets the silence hang between them as he waits for Steve to continue. He doesn’t want to interrupt and ruin everything here by saying something stupid, or by jumping to conclusions based on his own wants and desires.

“You keep me up at night,” Steve finally says. “It’s — fuck, Eddie, don’t get mad at me, or anything, okay? You keep me up at night because I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop — it doesn’t make sense, does it? I’ve only been with girls, but this feels like that. This feels like — like when I was crushing on Nancy, and… And now I’m realizing maybe this isn’t the first time it’s been like this. Like, maybe I’ve looked at other guys, and…”

“Steve,” Eddie breathes. He turns to him, sees the open and vulnerable way Steve is looking back. “I’m not gonna get mad at you for that.”

“That’s why you can’t stay here anymore,” Steve says. “Because every time I see you naked when you need help in the bath, and every time I help you to the couch or the kitchen, I just… Never want to let go.”

“Christ,” Eddie breathes.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says. “I’ve been taking advantage of this situation, and it’s wrong.”

“What? No,” Eddie says. “No, no, it’s — Steve, you know I’m gay, right? I have, like, no problem with guys looking at me.”

“You had sex with Nicole Summers at one of my parties in high school,” Steve says. “And I heard about Cass Finnegan, and you — you had that girlfriend for a while, uh… Mark Warner’s sister, right? I remember him talking about you at practice once.”

“Jesus, I didn’t know you had all my sexual experience cataloged, Harrington,” Eddie huffs.

It’s not like any of those girls were a secret. And Eddie’s pretty sure Carol had a hand in daring Nicole to sleep with him at that party. He knew everyone just wanted to see if the freak would get with a girl, and he’s pretty sure that night didn’t help the rumors of him being a fag. It’s just… Surprising that Steve Harrington of all people would remember names and details like that.

“It’s… I mean, word gets around,” Steve offers, a bit sheepish.

“Then you probably also know I barely touched Nic or Cass and barely got hard enough for anything to happen. God knows they told everyone.”

“No, I… But Warner’s sister?”

Eddie shrugs. “She offered me a way out of town. I thought that was love.”

“Huh.”

Eddie pulls one leg up and turns on the chair so he can fully face Steve.

“It’s okay that you’ve been having less than innocent thoughts about me, Harrington,” Eddie tells him. “Especially considering I’ve been looking at you.”

Saying it feels like a weight off Eddie’s chest. He’s been living here in Steve’s house for two weeks, and he’s been crushing on Steve for even longer. He’s had enough time to come to terms with being gay, but coming to terms with liking Steve has been an ongoing battle.

Steve Harrington has always been forbidden.

Too pretty for someone like Eddie. Too rich, too sporty, too straight. No one like Steve would ever like someone like Eddie, that’s what he’s told himself.

That’s what he tells himself every time he’s caught Steve’s eyes lingering. It’s what he tells himself when Steve offers to light his cigarette, or when he shoves his cold toes beneath Eddie’s thigh.

But knowing he doesn’t need to tell himself that anymore, knowing he was wrong, and that the lighter and the looks were all something more, knowing all of that — it’s a weight off Eddie’s chest.

Knowing he won’t get punched in the face and kicked out of Steve’s house for looking back, for wanting to touch, all of it eases something inside him.

It warms him despite the cold.

It makes him feel like he’s won the battle.

It makes him feel less alone.

That’s all he’s ever wanted.

“Eddie,” Steve whispers.

He’s leaning forward again, sliding his legs down so his knees are no longer pressed to his chest. There’s less empty space between the two of them now. The gap is becoming smaller and smaller.

As Eddie laid awake tonight, he thought Steve was upstairs in his own room, a staircase and rooms and hallways away from him. He thought Steve was so far away, up in a part of the house Eddie hasn’t yet ventured because he doesn’t think he could make it up the stairs on his own.

And he felt so goddamn alone.

But Steve was closer than that. He was just outside, sitting in a pool chair just outside Eddie’s window. He was so close, and now — now he’s just inches away.

He’s just inches away, and he’s been feeling the same things Eddie’s been feeling this whole time. He’s been pining away, so scared of what Eddie would say about it, and Eddie, he’s been scared of what Steve might say if he knew, and it turns out — it turns out Eddie hasn’t been alone at all.

“Steve,” Eddie whispers back.

One of Steve’s hands comes up to touch Eddie’s cheek. His thumb runs along the edge of the bandage on Eddie’s cheek, light as a feather. So gentle.

Eddie wants to kiss him. He thinks Steve might want that, too, but even with the admission of feelings, Eddie doesn’t think he can make the first move. He’s never made the first move. He has to be prompted, has to be told, has to have it done for him because he just never knows. He never knows if it’s safe, when he’s right here on the precipice.

And with Steve, it matters. It matters that Eddie does this right and doesn’t take what isn’t freely given. He can’t just jump to any conclusions here. Steve may like him, but that doesn’t mean he wants to pursue anything with him.

Neither one of them move, and Eddie has the sinking feeling that Steve is thinking the same exact way. That whoever moves first is sealing some sort of deal that could either make or break this thing brewing between them.

“What’re you thinking about?” Steve asks.

Eddie shrugs. You, he wants to say. Always you. You keep me up at night, too. You make me feel less alone just by being here.

He doesn’t say any of that.

“I’m tired,” he says instead.

The hand on his face falls away, and then Steve’s gaze does too. He looks over toward the pool, away from Eddie. It was the wrong thing to say, Eddie knows that. He just… Can’t do this tonight. Not when his head is heavy with sleep deprivation and his heart is pounding with his inability to kiss Steve first.

“Okay, yeah. Right,” Steve says. “It’s late.”

“And cold,” Eddie says.

“And cold,” Steve agrees.

Eddie picks up his glass and finishes it, probably too fast, but hopefully it’ll help him fall asleep. He watches as Steve gathers up his things and stands on unsteady feet. Eddie has to wonder how long he’s been sitting out here drinking. He has to wonder if Steve actually notices how cold it is out here.

Maybe it’s because it doesn’t compare to the Upside Down. Maybe this feels warm to Steve, the opposite of how Eddie feels these days. Like the cold seeped into Eddie’s skin and won’t ever leave. Maybe this is a respite for Steve, a break from the frozen nightmares.

They make their way into the house, back into the warmth of the kitchen, back into the golden light in the house. Away from the blue outside. Their glasses get put in the sink, the bottle of whiskey gets left on the counter. Steve shoves his smokes and lighter back into the pockets of his pajama pants, and Eddie almost asks if he can have another for later, but he doesn’t.

He thinks about asking if they can watch a movie, just so they can be near each other for a little while longer.

Falling asleep on the couch with Steve a few feet away always feels safer. Like he can give in and doze for a little while.

Standing in the hallway just outside the kitchen, they pause and look at each other. They need to go in opposite directions, Steve back upstairs and Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Neither one of them move, and Eddie knows the moment isn’t over yet. Steve’s still looking at him like he was outside, like he wants to cup Eddie’s cheek again and pull him in this time.

He doesn’t want to leave Steve yet. He’s so tired, but he knows he won’t be able to sleep once he lays down, not if he lets this night end like this, without either of them making a move and sealing that deal.

“Can we —” Eddie starts.

Just as Steve says, “Do you —”

They both fall silent.

“Go ahead,” Eddie says.

“Do you want to come upstairs?” Steve asks. “Just — I mean, to sleep, you know? It might be easier.”

“Just to sleep?” Eddie asks, an eyebrow raised.

“I swear I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

Eddie laughs, something soft and quiet between them. He really likes Steve, and he’s not so scared of thinking about it anymore.

“Okay,” Eddie agrees.

“Yeah?”

Eddie nods, and Steve smiles, and Eddie thinks he might be falling in love, and that scares him, but not enough to try stopping it.

They take the stairs slowly. Eddie hasn’t done any stairs since getting out of the hospital, and he just started to move around the ground floor a bit more freely. He thinks he’s going to need a cane eventually, but for now he leans against Steve and lets himself be helped. Steve’s arm is warm around his waist, his body firm and strong against Eddie’s side.

By the time they make it to the top, Eddie needs to rest against the wall for a second so he can catch his breath. He feels a little lightheaded, has to close his eyes and breathe through it. Steve’s hand comes up to touch his neck, thumb pressing to his pulse.

Steve has to feel how fast Eddie’s heart is beating. Eddie wonders if he’s trying to cover up the memories of stillness. If he’s trying to replace them with proof that Eddie’s still here.

“Just breathe,” Steve whispers. “You’re okay. Take your time.”

Eddie nods. Takes another deep breath. “I’m good.”

Steve’s bedroom isn’t too far from the top of the stairs, which is a relief. Eddie’s never been in there before, but it feels familiar,like he has. Sports trophies line the top of Steve’s dresser, posters of half-naked women and Steve’s favorite bands line the plaid walls, and the nail bat rests against his nightstand.

If Eddie weren’t so tired, he would take some time to look around at all the little pieces of Steve’s life, to see what kinds of things he can glean from the trinkets and posters and photos he has on display. But right now, all he can do is tug the sweatshirt over his head and fall into Steve’s bed.

He lands a bit uncomfortably, wincing as his wounds take the impact, but Steve’s there with gentle hands and a concerned look on his face, and Eddie forgets the pain for a second. Steve leans over him where he stands, one hand on Eddie’s chest, the other coming up to cup his cheek.

“Steve,” Eddie whispers. Pleads. It’s a plea, the way he says it. He needs Steve to make this decision, to either lean in and kiss him, or not.

He can’t take it anymore.

And then Steve climbs into bed with him, pushing himself up on one elbow as he lays beside Eddie, and his other hand comes back up to Eddie’s face, and he’s—

He’s leaning in, and Eddie’s lips part and his eyes fall shut, and he waits for the contact. He lays there on his back in Steve Harrington’s bed and waits for the press of lips to his own.

A noise falls from his lips when it finally happens, something between a moan and a whimper. It surprises him when he hears it, but he can’t even be embarrassed because he’s so tired and because this is what he’s wanted for so long.

The kiss is gentle, almost hesitant. Like they’re both too scared to push each other too hard. Like they’re both too tired to turn this into anything more. The kiss is soft, but it’s full of everything Eddie’s never been allowed to have.

Steve’s lips press against his and he’s never felt like this before. He’s never wanted to keep someone like this. None of the girls he fucked, none of the nameless guys in bars he kissed and let fuck him, none of it even compares.

He likes Steve, and he knows Steve likes him back. This isn’t a prelude to rough, dirty sex in a bar bathroom. This isn’t a dare at a party to see if the freak will put out. This isn’t him thinking he’s in love because someone offered him a ticket out of town.

This is different.

This kiss is from someone who gives him a reason to stay. It’s from someone who wants to know him and hold him and make sure he gets enough sleep.

Steve Harrington is someone Eddie could love easily and freely. He thinks he might already be there, after just two weeks of Steve’s generous heart showing him what it means to have people care.

When Steve pulls away, he doesn’t go far. He keeps his hand on Eddie’s face, a soft thumb moving along the edge of the bandage on his cheek. His breath comes out in soft puffs against Eddie’s skin, close enough that Eddie feels it.

“I know I said we’d just sleep, but I had to do that,” Steve whispers, tilting his forehead to rest against Eddie’s.

They’re so close that Eddie can feel the heat between their bodies, the warmth in the space between them. He wants Steve even closer, to feel him against his skin, to hold him under the safety of the blankets.

“It’s okay,” Eddie laughs. “I don’t mind.”

“Good,” Steve whispers. “Soon as you’re better, I want to take you out.”

“Are you asking me on a date, Harrington?”

“I suppose I am.”

Eddie hums in thought, then presses another kiss to Steve’s lips. “I accept your offer.”

Steve smiles, and Eddie can’t stop his own from forming.

They kiss a little more, but eventually sleep tugs at Eddie in a way that can’t be ignored. He’s so exhausted, there���s nothing left to hold onto, no thoughts racing through his head to keep him up.

As he starts to drift, he feels Steve roll him over, and the last thing he remembers is Steve pressing against his back and wrapping an arm around his waist.

Eddie sleeps better than he has in a few weeks. He still wakes before the sun, but he doesn’t have to lay there wondering if Steve’s struggling to sleep, too. He doesn’t have to lay there feeling cold and alone. Not when Steve whispers something unintelligible into Eddie’s neck and pulls him closer.

Not when Steve’s here to keep him warm — to keep him safe.

It’s easy to fall back asleep.

Read on AO3

[avocadoraisin]

what are your Hoffstrahm werepire! au hcs??

i hope you're ready bc im basically gonna tell you most of, if not all of the sporadic details of their "story" thats been simmering in my head. theyre subject to change on any given day because, well, this is my imagination LMAO i can take this daydream wherever i want

one day parts of it could be a fic? idk. i dont think i have enough of a beginning, middle, and end of a real cohesive "story" so it might just exist as snapshots in the form of little comics forever.

and some of this is, in fact, alluded to in that really horny heat fic i wrote akjhfjb

pre-meeting

Hoffman:

-He and his sister were both vampires and have been for a little while. not sure for how long. the details of how they turned are also hazy

-but they were alone together and moved cities often, only having each other to rely on. they had to "restart" someplace new every few years. possibly because theyve been around too long and would start to arouse suspicion from neighbors noticing them not aging in 10 years. maybe they were in danger of aggressive rival vampires competing for hunting grounds territory, or anything else making them feel unsafe

-at last they settle on Sawville which seemed to be untouched by vampire drama. (as far as they knew at the time)

-Angelina always had too big of a heart and, as a vampire herself, wanted to believe in the good in people. wanted to believe in someone's ability to change. which is what she tells herself when she falls in love w that asshole Seth

-Mark is not trusting of him at all

-Angelina trusted in Seth too much, trusting him with the information that she was a vampire

-Instead of a slit throat she gets a wooden stake to the heart

-Mark is too shell shocked to leave Saw City i guess. he already distrusted humans in general but now he knew he could never, ever trust his heart in a human. not like she was able to.

-When Seth is released Mark cooks up the pendulum and gets caught by John just like in canon

-blah blah hazy details he and Amanda and Lawrence are stuck under John's thumb. i think in the fic i made it purposefully vague if Lawrence and John are also vampires, im now leaning toward Lawrence also being a vampire (i did draw him as a bat recently after all) and John is still undecided

-He knows werewolves exist, but never met one. He's not terribly concerned with encountering one but knows there's an eternal feud between the species.

Strahm:

-his early days are also hazy to me

-he's been a werewolf since i think teenagehood and it was something he kinda grew up with and learned to somewhat tame over the years

-great idea based on this anon (and everything else in the post, verbatim) but maybe he has troubles remembering his childhood or the time around when he first changed, so really all he remembers from early on is how he trained to control the power to be productive in society

-he can change at-will whenever but on full moons it is involuntary, and hes more prone to going wild. he still doesnt trust himself, so once a month he chains himself up to pipes in the basement.

-he also knows vampires are out there, and that they're bad news. Werewolves instinctually want to kill them for a reason. They have no souls and drain people of their blood, they're vermin to be exterminated. or so he thinks. he's never met one yet.

-maybe he decided to go the FBI route growing up for whatever reasons he did in canon. maybe it was a drive to learn more about whats going on in the undergrowth out there. on the everlasting hunt to find more people like him.

-what will he do when he does find one? what if they're not what he hopes?

-with his heightened senses, he knows he has a tactical advantage at work so he flies up the ranks. he's the FBI's most effective bloodhound, and they have no idea why. they dont question it. he gets shit done and thats all they need.

-some years into their partnership, he tells Perez the truth. She's the closest someone's ever been to him in many, many lonely years, and if there's anyone he can trust with the truth, it's the person he trusts with his life

-it took a lot of prying questions but she accepts him for how he is and they are more effective as a Human and Werewolf FBI duo as ever

-and as best friends, too. a tiny pack, if you will

Meeting:

-their meeting

-Hoffman made a frustratingly good point, and Strahm cant prove anything yet. But he's also just so damn curious. because he's never actually met a vampire before, and he secretly wanted to know which rumors were true.

-they also have an incentive to not immediately just out each other's species secrets. they dont want worldwide panic. they both know trusting humans is difficult and everything about that can backfire. its best that their species drama gets resolved privately.

-They both get a lil too curious about each other

-Hoffman keeps being annoyingly flirty with him too. like "arent u a lil curious lol 🧛‍♂️🍆 you can kill me after, ok? 😘"

-they settle some curiosities one night in a sleepover of discovery lol

-they secretly catch feelings a la most fics out there where they start out with a one-night hate-sex stand

-Strahm realizes that he doesnt really care that Hoffman is the "enemy" species, he seems like a normal guy. hes not soulless at all. he also has a sadness about him, just like him. and its so amazing to meet another creature, to meet someone else that he doesnt have to hide around. someone who isn't scared of him. he's not alone in the world

-Hoffman realizing he also doesn't have to be alone again, though a part of his heart is still guarded. and hes still got the jigsaw thing going on. strahm still suspects it.

-The two of them don't really want to kill each other. Like, imagine a cartoon scene with two characters super slow-mo punching each other like "Im gonna punch you! here it comes! yep! im so.. totally.. gonna punch you!" because neither of them really want to do it. until they're collapsed in each other's arms because they realize they dont hate each other, they need each other. because. im a sap.

-over at team Jigsaw, instead of infighting and killing each other to one-up each other like in canon, the apprentices realize they're all being manipulated and start to band together. vampires together strong.

-hoffman confesses the predicament hes stuck in to Strahm. their whole world is already so insane and wrought with otherworldly violence, he knows damn well that sometimes things are more than meets the eye, so hes more willing to hear him out

-Peter more or less accepts everything. he watches from the sidelines and lends a hand if needed, having grown sympathetic to their cause and seeing that theyre all just trying to escape this cult. but its also not his fight, he stays out of it, just helps them get away with it legally.

-if John is a human, they all corner him and idk probably drink all his blood. Scar vs The Hyenas style. if John is a vampire, maybe theres an epic fight if hes like a super strong elder type who just went deranged with power over centuries, Underworld style.

Post-Jigsaw Life

-when its all over, the vampires are kind of unsure of where they belong now. they scatter a bit but still keep in touch, kind of like a weird little family now, having gone through all of that together. maybe they can kind of help each other survive too. a coven of their own.

-Hoffman still isnt sure exactly of where he and Strahm fall now, now that the reign of terror is done. hes going to need to drink blood again to survive, jigsaw violence or not. will Strahm be okay with the kind of monster he has to be to live? he doesnt drain people dry, but he hates doing it anyway. and the doctor vampire of the group can only smuggle them so much blood from the hospitals.

-they realize theyre in love and can try to make this work, hearts fully open to each other. no more secrets between them

-One day when Hoffman is really starving, in an ultimate show of trust, Strahm allows him to try to drink from him. and they learn that while it tastes bad, it works, and they could have a symbiotic relationship.

-While bearing his throat and allowing Mark to drink is the ultimate display of trust for Peter, being in his extremely vulnerable bat form is the ultimate display of trust for Mark

-They tell Perez the truth about Mark, to loop one more friend into the circle of beloved, trusted people in Peter's life who know everything. Mark also gains +1 family, in a way, in addition to his coven. big emphasis on everyone realizing you dont have to be alone

-Mark helps Peter learn to control himself on full moons so he can fully control himself around the one other person he cares about, like this

-still have a lot of learning to do about each other, navigating their relationship together despite their species differences. thats been the subject of most of my art and the fic and other discussions in my werepire au tag lmao

-sometimes a pack can be a werewolf, a human, a vampire, and the two other stray vampires he kind of picked up along the way

[basilpaste]

Act 4: Bathroom Tangent

If: No "On Command!" Ability

〔You close the door to the bathroom stall softly.〕

〔Haha! That's so unlike you, isn't it? You're supposed to be loud!〕

〔Big, strong, stupid Isabeau who slams doors and just had to use the restroom right before a super important fight! That's you alright!〕

〔You haven't actually had to use the restroom since the first time. You could just stop coming here, couldn't you? You could just do something else? But… it would feel weird to break the habit so far in.〕

〔You swallow and it feels like your tongue is caught in your throat.〕

〔Like you're choking.〕

〔Your head feels all fuzzy and your body is like lead and—〕

〔You cough down a sob.〕

〔It's not like you think it's bad to cry!!! It's just, uh, you have to be quiet right now!〕

〔Plus! You're a pretty emotional guy! You cry plenty!〕

〔Except… that's not really true, is it?〕

〔Do you even remember the last time you cried?〕

〔Okay. Maybe crying is the answer, then!!! Catharsis, y'know? It might help to finally get some tears going!〕

〔So. What's the hold up?〕

〔You almost cried a second ago, right? So what changed? Is it just that you're actively thinking about wanting to cry now? Because that hasn't stopped you before! You're actually pretty in-tune with your emotions! So this shouldn't be so hard!〕

〔Seriously! No one will even see you! So it's not a big deal!〕

〔…〕

〔Obviously just wanting to cry isn't enough!!! That's fine! That's okay. You can just… make yourself cry.〕

〔You open your eyes as wide as you can and stare at the stall door.〕

〔Seconds tick by.〕

〔Your eyes itch and burn with the effort and your vision has gone all hazy from dryness but this isn't really working! Like at all!!!〕

〔You blink. Tears coat your eyes but do not fall.〕

〔Okay! That's alright! Maybe you were wrong! You don't actually need to cry.〕

〔You're fine.〕

〔You've just gotta keep moving! That's all!!!〕

〔You need to figure out how the loops work. Understand them better than you do right now.〕

〔It's… kind of your last option? You know about the King (you don't think about it), you know about Time and Wish Craft, you know about things that don't even matter to the loops at all!〕

〔All that's left is to figure out why everything restarts when you talk to m'dame Head Housemaiden.〕

〔You don't want to assume that it's something she did! Because she's someone that your friend really cares about!!〕

〔…〕

〔Your friend.〕

〔Haha!!! Funny joke, Isabeau!!! Forgetting stuff is Sif's thing!!!!!〕

〔See? SEE?! You remember his name just fine! Sif! Siffrin! Sifarooni!!!〕

〔So why don't you—〕

〔No, no! It's okay! Sometimes when people are stressed, they forget stuff! It's not like you actually forgot her name! It'll come to you any second now!!!〕

〔She's… She's kind and clever and she's nervous a lot of the time but you've watched her grow so much over the course of her journey. You were the first one to go along with her! The two of you spent a lot of time by yourselves before meeting anyone else!〕

〔You know her name. You do! Of course you do.〕

"Um… Isabeau?"

〔MIRABELLE.〕

〔"Mirabelle!!"〕

"Oh! You haven't called me 'Mirabelle' in a while!"

〔You haven't.〕

〔"Sorry! You, uh! Spooked me, Mira!!!"〕

"I did? Oh, Change! I'm so sorry! I was just… checking in on you? You've been in there a while."

〔"Hah! I didn't even realize! Got caught up in saving-the-country thoughts, y'know? I'll be out in a minute!"〕

"…"

〔Was that… too much energy? Even you can tell that came out kinda forced.〕

"Okay!" She pauses. "I will see you! Outside of the bathroom! In a minute!!!"

〔"You've got it!"〕

〔You hear her walk away.〕

〔Wow. That was a pretty weak performance, Isabeau! That's why you should leave the acting to the pros.〕

〔Mira. Mira, Mira, Mirabelle. You know her name. You didn't forget. See?〕

〔You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.〕

〔Okay. Okay! You're good! You're alright! You've got stuff to do!!!〕

〔You're okay.〕

〔You exit the bathroom.〕

If: Yes "On Command" Ability

〔You close the door to the bathroom stall softly.〕

〔Haha! That's so unlike you, isn't it? You're supposed to be loud!〕

〔Big, strong, stupid Isabeau who slams doors and just had to use the restroom right before a super important fight! That's you alright!〕

〔You haven't actually had to use the restroom since the first time. You could just stop coming here, couldn't you? You could just do something else?〕

〔What'd be the point, even if you did?〕

〔Nothing's going to change.〕

〔You swallow and it feels like your tongue is caught in your throat.〕

〔Like you're choking.〕

〔Your head feels all fuzzy and your body is like lead and—〕

〔Oops!〕

〔If you do that, you'll end up looping back! And wouldn't it be embarrassing to do that when you don't even have to?〕

〔It'd be super embarrassing, yeah!!! So! You're fine.〕

〔You're fine, aren't you?〕

〔You're making progress. Even if it's… kind of slow. The more answers you have, the longer it takes to find new paths to go down! It makes sense! The logic follows.〕

〔For now, all you've got to do is understand the loops better than you do right now! Why stuff restarts when you talk to the Head Housemaiden!〕

(from here, the scene plays out as normal, starting at 〔You don't want to assume that it's something she did! Because she's someone that your friend really cares about!!〕)

[xyurishux]

CHAPTER 1 - AS A WHOLE, TOGETHER

Word Count: ~1.7k

Tags: GN!reader, Mentions of family disputes

Summary: You begin to tell Sebastian how deep UrbanShades rabbit hole truly goes, starting with yourself.

Pardon any writing errors, they may happen!

“ oh sweetie, you’re not ugly, society is,”

“So,

When I was younger, life was as normal as can be. I was in mediocre family, it was me, my mom and my dad. I’d only see my mom in the morning, and when I was back from school my dad would be home for dinner. It wasn’t until way later I learned about his job, but that isn’t relevant right now. My dad was a mystery to me, he’s my dad but I didn’t know much to anything about him. I saw him everyday when I got home but it’s was for such a small period of time, did it even count?

Life was so mundane and repetitive. Go to school, pass tests, summer break then restart it all over again. Life was boring but it wasn’t difficult.

I would do anything to be back there…” You paused looking out into the ocean, it was dark you could mistake it for the above, only simply at night. You breathe out from your nose continuing on with your story.

 “Anyways, it was back in September of 2009 when my father got a promotion. Seeing his face 4 to 5 hours per day dwindled down to seeing him once every two weeks or so, usually on Sundays. He became an enigma.

“You see, something I couldn’t see at the time was that as I grew older, his need to be in my life lowered, and sadly, that same fate fell too with my mother by default.

His job already took a toll on their relationship. Only spending 4 to 5 hours with your partner every day over the span of five years isn’t so great.

My mother would see him as much as I did and now, he just wasn’t there. The signs of a falling relationship presented themselves beforehand, but now it was obvious to anyone that the only thing keeping them together was me. At least, for my mom that was the case.

“The house was more silent than it ever was empty…”

You looked to the side with your eyes to see Sebastians full attention on you, perhaps it was the story? Or maybe he didn’t have anything better to do or it might have been the way your voice spoke with full sincerity and no sarcasm. It was like someone else took control but it was undoubtedly you and he was fully enthralled.

Your eyes met and you looked back down at the cold tile as you carried on.

“Ether way, it was in November of that same year where things would shift. My mom would realize the steady money flowing in and at growing amounts. Now you have to understand that my mother isn’t of the suspicious type nor is she a person who comes up with wild conclusions. She was (and still is, I hope) a reasonable and sensible woman. She knew that this wasn’t a simple ‘promotion’, but to know where all this money came from, well…she didn’t have the slightest clue. She didn’t know and she would never know. Well, truly know…

“The first snow started to fall as December began and Winter break freed me from my studying. Shockingly, dad came home for the holidays and New Years. Funny anecdote, I remember getting my first iPhone as a gift from him that year. It was an iPhone 3GS, God the memories…my mother was not pleased in slightest.” You laughed silent tilting your head to the side as your reminisced, it was good and loyal phone…

 “Continuing on, after Christmas as a family and with the family the next day, my parents had the only disagreement I’ve ever witnessed (only a disagreement, it wasn’t enough to count as a fight).

I think it was about 2 am and the only light that was on was the one above the kitchen table. My dad was sitting facing my mother who standing up, the last of the family who came over for the party had finally left. Chip bowls and wine glasses were still scattered on the coffee table, only barely visible by the outside Christmas lights. I watched as my mom tapped her nails against the wooden chair she was partly leaning on as she took a deep breath. I could tell she was tired, exhausted even but I could also tell she had something bugging her and she needed to let it out. I watched them from the darkness that the staircase provided, I was undetectable. I listened to them talk, leaning my upper body to the wooden railing trying not to miss a single word. I don’t remember much; it was about the money at first but it was nothing compared to what my mother said next.”

“Samantha, look- “

“I’m breaking up with you”

“My mother broke up with my father. I sat upon the steps dumbfounded, I didn’t expect that from their conversation but even then, I didn’t know what to expect. The last of the conversation consisted of my father staying silent and staring at the table as my mom talked important matters to him. She told him that she would stay for the New Years and then move in with a friend in an apartment she found. After that she finished the glass of wine my dad poured for her at the start and left the kitchen when he didn’t have anything to add.

I’m pretty sure that night was the only time I saw my dad cry. He was still in love with her, never ever once thinking of ending their relationship. Never ever once thinking of loving another woman.

 Most children would walk down the stairs they sat on and go comfort their weeping father or at least ask if he was okay. But our relationship was so estranged to the point where I felt no reason to go down and comfort him. He simply was just my father, nothing else nothing more.

I watched him cry silently with his head in his hand as I sat on the steps with my legs close to my chest. I sat there for a few more minutes. I don’t know why I sat there watching for so long. Maybe I was intrigued with the sight, it was something new. A man I’ve know all my life was a mystery to me and now the last sight I might ever see of him is him crying his heart out. But soon enough I got tired, I walked back up to my bedroom and fell asleep to noise of the on going shower my mom was taking downstairs.

The next morning felt cold and unbalanced. The floor was cold to the touch and it was actually closer to noon then morning. The hall was silent as I walked down it and saw at the end of it that my mom was packing a suitcase and a large duffle bag. They were both placed on the bed with an equal amount of folded and unfolded clothes thrown around the two. It was enough to be unable to see the white and blue floral comforter underneath (or I remember it to be enough). I walked into the room and as if I didn’t witness the scene at the kitchen table last night I asked, “Are we going somewhere?”

She was so concentrated with her packing that she jumped startled when she heard my voice. With her hand over her heart, she turned to me with a forced smile (I knew that it was) and spoke words that I will never forget.”

“What were they?” Sebastian asked quietly, his full upper body now laying against the desk where you two sorted files on together almost an hour ago.

You smiled, “Well,

“Sweetheart! You scared me there,” She said, her smile faltering, “No, mommy is going somewhere, alone, but not forever. You’ll have to stay with dad for awhile.” She turned her head away as she folded a few pants and placed them into her suitcase. Then she squatted, and I had to look down to see her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her lashes wet. I felt her hands on my upper arms as she continued to talk, “Mommy, mommy needs to go find herself for a bit, okay? Not for long but mommy needs this…I love you, eternally and always”

She left the same day with kiss on the forehead, her phone number seared into my mind and a “Be good while I’m gone, I’m a single phone call away”

And then I was there, at my door step, cold and watching as my mom entered her friend’s car with one last kiss blown to me. I caught it and placed it onto my cheek as she drove off. Now it was me and my estranged father and a lot of complex emotions I didn’t know how to decipher or begin to understand at the age of ten.”

You finished, pausing to take a breath for a second while also stretching your aching muscles.

“And then what? What does this have to do with us? With me?” Sebastian asked harshly as he raised himself from the desk.

“Give me a second, I need water and a snack, I’m a bit peckish,” you joked, smirking to him, before continuing, “Ether way, we’re barely getting into the meat of the story. I was just explaining how I got stuck with my father. Now will be getting into what he was doing

behind closed doors…”

And we start rolling, ~

@splatting-stampede

[drakewyne]

me, thinking of the dress:

me: CRAZY

( cw: dark au, ünternet au, referenced sw. )

ISO nancy: *fazing in. out. in mirror. kicking gogo boot up. little spin.*

black cat tim: *on computer* " . . . *stops typing* . . . *looks over shoulder* "weird that you have an Appearance."

ISO nancy: *scowling* "rude." *buzzing beside him* "weird You have an appearance. weird you have one and barely do anything With it. *moving his chin* 'cause i've seen a Lot worse."

tim: "i pull a lot with the leg harness."

ISO nancy: " . . . pull Yourself, maybe." *buzzing* "anyway, what's That mean? you sound Stupid. coadjutor ISOs like me are evolved to be appealing."

tim: "fucking- Gross."

ISO nancy: "no shit." *buzzing, semi fairy like in air* "but it's so we're more predisposed to be spoken to. we're relayers. we relay. shitheads in the ünternet Already try to keep it lowkey. if you have to talk, might as well be to someone cute. 's why you see a lot of old ISO co's in the club doing bottle service faking IR girlie realness."

tim: "what if they get Horny?"

ISO nancy: "that depends." ( "on what?" ) "do they have Credits?"

tim: "oh that is so Fucked."

ISO nancy: "it's a darkseid and sivana project that kuttler blew a load all over- it's not a family friendly Place."

tim: "what do you need credits for anyway? you have everything you need."

ISO nancy, looking in mirror: "yeah, it's swanky. but it's Expensive to be on the run. you have to get fake Algos, fake Authorization, fake Lives. and ISO derezzer bots got Good. i've had to restart a million times. I'm not biting it. No. Fucking. Way."

tim: "so you've Slept with these assholes?"

ISO nancy: "Also No Fucking Way! be a Million percent real! look, *crossing arms, hip jut* i'll do a lot of shit, but not that. also those guys have Zero loyalty. they'll report you Regardless. they got what they wanted! no more skin in the game."

tim: " . . . so how'd you get the money?"

ISO nancy: "ooh. very good question. back in the day, coadjutors logged all your shit. if you were getting too screwy, they kicked you. but not me. i saw the writing on the wall. i got the logged shit. but I had the idea of using it for nancy Good. give me Credits, Or i boot all your bullshit into the outer world."

tim: "extortion."

ISO nancy: "you better believe it. and Because i'm the one that won't boot you, i log Heavy. i can't dog the others. it's still pretty psychosexual. i get All the big weirdos. because when you're unbound by moral in a moralless place, what do you Want?"

tim: " . . . you want to be grounded." ( "uh huh." ) "and users can't really Kill or Get Killed there in a way that matters." ( "now you get it." ) "nancy. were you Charging guys to Debase themselves in the name of higher Consciousness?"

ISO nancy: "don't look so shocked! i let You do it for free."

tim: "you knowing my Bullshit gives me Nothing sexual."

ISO nancy: "then why do you get me Presents?"