#and longest is about 3 weeks from label creation

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

me obsessively refreshing my album order confirmation as if it's going to magically change lmao

[dragon-creates]

King Of My Heart

Funnybunny Week Day Five: Gods AU . Pomni, Goddess of Life. Jax, God of Death. Such polar opposites yet share the most precious bond that the universes have ever seen.

Read on AO3

Hey guys! Its day five and we have my fav prompt of the week, gods au! I'm so excited for you guys to see what I've gotten cooked up.

Also, there is a mention of child death but it is very, very brief but I don't want you guys to go into this without that information. As always, I will label (1) when it will start and (2) when it ends. If this is something that triggers you please feel free to skip this fic, your mental health matters.

Other than that, enjoy! <3

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa And all at once, you're all I want, I'll never let you go King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa - King Of My Heart by Taylor Swift

.

The best thing to compare the gods with was the wind. You may not see it, smell it, touch it, but they were always there to walk with you during your day. Some gods would even use the wind to get where they need to be, and if mortals were really lucky, they could sense if they were really by their side or not.

One in particular who loved to visit earth was Pomni, the goddess of life herself. She always adored seeing each soul she molded and breathed into the earth going about how they wanted to live their lives. She loved seeing their passions, their commitments, their dreams. Nothing else could fill her with pride than seeing her souls carry out the best and happiest lives they ever imagined.

But it didn’t mean that it hurt when the souls she created went into another direction, to go down a darker path that she couldn’t pull them away from. It pained her when the beings that she put onto the earth became the worst things she could ever imagine. 

She knew she shouldn’t blame herself, after all she was only responsible for creating life, not to control it, those souls' actions were their own and never her fault. But it didn’t mean that she never felt guilt for creating those souls in the first place, even if she couldn’t see the outcome of their actions. 

But there was one other god that steered her away from her self-blame, one that made it his mission to make sure she knew that it was never her fault. One that was the bane of her immortal existence, but somehow made it all the more better by being in it. One that went by the name of-

“Jax,” Pomni felt herself grinning as the other god walked up next to her, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Only your presence my dear,” The rabbitoid god bowed. 

Jax, the god of death. He was spawned into creation around the same time of Pomni, meaning he knew her the longest than any of the other gods within the heavens. He was her best friend, and her soulmate (even if the two didn’t acknowledge it after many millennia). If Pomni was responsible for gifting life, Jax was the one who guided them to the next plane of existence.

It wasn’t a dark job as most mortals believed. Yes he had to deal with the most atrocious souls and take them where they would be served the justice for the people they hurt (he always made sure to give them a taste of their own medicine for making Pomni so sad), but that didn’t mean he hadn’t met some of the kindest, thought-provoking mortals that he had the honor of guiding to the heavens.   

“Although, I am curious as to what brought you to the mortal realm this fine day my lady,” He peered down at her, a mischievous smirk on his face.

The goddess rolled her eyes at her partner, “Just observing one of my most recent creations. Her parents are taking her to her first day of elementary school, they’ve been so excited for her. It’s the sweetest thing.”

Jax turned to where she was looking, a little girl with red hair wrapped in pigtails, swaying back and forth on her feet as her parents walked with her to the front gates of the school.

“Those two were my most favorite creations,” Pomni exhaled happily, “I gotta watch them grow into the people they are today and watch them fall in love. And now they have a child of their own!”

“It really is something,” Jax mused. No matter how many times she had done this before, Pomni treated every single soul that she formed as if it were the first, it had been that way since the beginning of time. “But they are not the only ones who have experienced falling in love.” His tone held a hint of cheek.

Pomni turned round, raising a brow as she matched the cocky smirk on his face. She knew exactly where this conversation was going, “Oh?”

“I mean, judging by those two, they’ve got the whole opposites attract thing going on between them,” he observed, “Sounds a little bit like you and me.”

“Is that so?” Pomni crossed her arms as Jax continued with his little speech.

“Think about it, everything in life needs opposites in order to form the perfect balance,” he told her. “Fire and water, winter and summer, Yin and Yang…life and death?”

“And what exactly are you insinuating oh so terrifying god of death?” she teased, leaning in close to him.

“All I’m saying is the universe is giving us a lot of hints,” he replied, “You and me, the perfect opposites. We’re meant to be my dear, so how about you let me treat you right with a nice candlelit dinner under the stars tonight where we can declare how badly in love we are with one another.”

“Tempting, but I’ll have to make a rain check with that,” she said, “I have another soul to create later today, I want to keep my focus on that.”

“Always as focused as ever,” Jax let out a longing, dramatic sigh as he leaned in closer to her, “But that’s what I love about you Pomni.”

“Keep the sappiness to yourself mister,” she giggled, pressing a to the center of his face and pushed him back lightly.

Jax joined in on his goddess’ chortles with his own carefree laugh. Pomni was the walking manifestation of literally breathing new life into him. Just the smallest smile from her made his heart lit up like the millions of stars placed onto the dark sky each night. No, she was the star of his night sky.

His laughter was cut short when he felt a shift in the atmosphere, an invisible string suddenly cut. From the way he could sense it, the string had been remarkably short. 

Pomni ceased in her laughter from the sudden change of Jax’s mood. She placed a hand on his arm, she had seen that look after centuries of being his friend and understood it well. “Jax?”

He smiled softly, resting his hand on top of hers, “Don’t worry about me Pomni. Wait for me in the skies above and tell me about the rest of your day when I get back. Duty calls.”

She nodded, her eyes watering. Another mortal’s life had ended today. Jax gently shushed her, wiping the tears from her eyes, “Don’t worry my dear. I have a feeling this soul will be going to a good place, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Okay,” she sniffed, “Just, take care of yourself too.”

Jax looked at her with awe. Even when she cared about the wellbeing of another soul, Jax was also her main priority. “I will,” he promised, “I will.”

He lifted her hand, gently pressing a kiss on her palm, before letting it go. Before Pomni could say another word, he was gone.

.

The heavens were always an interesting place. Many mortals had pondered what it would look like, moreso imagining it to look like the traditional tale of a city of clouds and angels playing harps. 

While it wasn’t like that per say, but it was a place of peace for the new coming souls to rest. Each paradise for both the mortals and the gods was constructed by the universe to create each individual wonderland for them all to live in.

Pomni’s paradise consisted of a beautiful forest, flora and fauna, enchanting waterfalls and a little cozy home within the cave of a mossy cliff. It had everything she needed, a fireplace built within the stone, a pantry filled with all the fruits, bread and meat to last her lifetimes, a large dent in the middle of the ground, with mattress, pillows and blankets replacing the rocky structure to make up the most comfortable bed, and a canvas set up for her to paint something new each day right by the open entrance of the cave.

Right now, the goddess was waiting in her little nest, already setting up the blankets for her and Jax. It was something she did every time he had a pick-up. He told her he was used to it by now, but the tired look in his eyes every time he came to her entrance said otherwise.

Once she had finished preparing a plate of his favorite fruits and chocolates, a flourish of wind sent a chill up her spine. She didn’t even need to ask who it was when a chin rested on her shoulder and a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. “Tough pick-up?” she asked the familiar presence.

(1)

Jax hummed in agreement, “It was a kid, a year younger than the one you were observing earlier. He liked to draw with his older sister, play with his dog in the garden, and make fairy cakes with his mom. When I went to see him, he was in so much pain, nothing like his playful self when he was laying in that hospital bed. The moment I picked his soul up in my arms, he was right back to his normal self. I promised him that he would be going somewhere where he would never hurt again, but I know that his family just lost a precious part of them.”

(2)

She shifted in his arms to face him, “Come here.” She pulled him down to lay on the mattress, pulling a blanket over them. She let out a surprised yelp when he pulled her face into his chest, running his fingers through her hair as his other arm held her tight. She melted into the embrace, today’s pick-up must have taken a lot out of him.

“Thanks Pomni, I…I needed this,” he spoke carefully. “Being the god of death, it's important that I’m strong enough for the souls I carry to the other realms. Whether they’re scared of what’s next, or terrible people who want to put up a fight, even kids…the front I have to put up is a tough one. But not an easy one. You…you make it easy. You make everything easy.”

“And you do too. For me,” Pomni told him, “Every time when one of my souls turns to a life of hurting others and destroying this earth, you always make sure that I don’t feel responsible for their choices. It's really hard not to, it is my job after all. But you take some of that weight off my shoulders.” She peered up at him, “You’re special to me too.”

Jax exhaled strongly, pulling her tight against him again, “You’re so, so, so special my little goddess. More than you could ever believe. I wasn’t lying about how madly in love with you I am.”

Pomni had never been more glad than she was right now that her face was buried in his chest, hiding the blush staining her pale cheeks “W-well, since we’re free now, maybe we could do that candlelit dinner under the stars?”

Jax looked down at Pomni, who was staring up at him with her wide, multi-coloured eyes anxiously. “Yeah, I think we can do that,” he grinned.

“Don’t let that inflate your ego, mister,” she pouted.

“Too late little goddess,” He rested his chin on her head, “Too late.”

She sighed with exasperation, shaking her head fondly. 

The goddess of life and the god of death.

Who could have ever expected it? Maybe opposites do attract after all.

[knightyoomyoui]

Jeongyeon x Reader- “Until I Found You”

I'm back!

Sorry for 3 weeks hiatus. I got busy preparing and celebrating for our graduation at school (I completed high school as a with high honors awardee, by the way! Congrats to meeee!) which can't really find some spare time to publish this story. I also had some couple pains on my finger and leg that's why it took me some time to complete this one. I hope you readers understand me.

And because of that, I made this as the longest one-shot I ever published in this book so far, beating Momo x Reader- "Nobody's Love" one-shot. I just hope that this was worth the wait though, I did my best.

STREAM SEOOOOLLLEEMMMYYY~~~

Oh wait sorry my bad...

.... "POP!" MV by our precious bunny unnie Nayeon!!!!

--------------

(YOUR POV)

I just entered at this tall building at the street of Gangnam-dong in Seoul that has a baby blue colored label of acronyms "JYP" on the top of it.

I'm in the headquarters of JYP Entertainment, an entertainment agency where I will be having my new job soon.

I just got received from one of the staffs here in my email account that they are recruiting me to be part of the company since my former boss in my former workplace made me available and vacant for all the agencies who are interested to employ new employees.

Gladly JYPE got me and i'm grateful because JYP Entertainment is really famous here in Korea. I mean cmon, the founder of it was the "Asiansoul" and one of the legendary artists in K-Pop industry, Mr. Jinyoung Park himself who was the brain behind the creation and formation of such famous K-Pop artists and groups in different generations like Wonder Girls, Rain, G.O.D. , Miss A, TWICE, GOT7 and many more.

It would be an honor for me to work for one of the very famous artists here as a manager. Yup, that's the job position I previously held and still the position I'm holding and available for anyone to take and employ me in another agency.

I went into this booth that has 2 ladies in there who are focused in their computers. I noticed these are the helpers for anyone who are either entered here in this place for the first time or anyone who are like needing something important assistance.

"Hello, sir welcome to JYP Entertainment how can I help you?", the lady stood up when she noticed my presence slowly appearing near her then asked me this.

"Hi, uhm... can I ask where is the meeting room 3 here? I was scheduled today on a meeting with a staff from here. It's about my confirmed employment as a manager. They want to have a talk with me about it." I asked and said to the lady my purpose here in a very detailed way while switching my gaze around this place. Damn, this place looks quite eco-friendly. They have many plants around here.

"Congratulations sir. I hope you'll have a great day working here.", she greeted me with her wide bright grin she always uses to approach people on their needs here.

"Thanks, really I feel lucky.", I chuckled.

"The meeting room 3 is on the 5th floor, sir. You may take the elevator on the left corridor.", she then guided me the direction by using her hand to point on a distance. I can see some employees from over there standing there like they're waiting for something. It must be the elevator this lady is talking about.

"Noted. Thanks a lot.", we then bowed at each other then I continued my way to my destination.

I took the elevator which took me to the 5th floor and now here I am about to reach a door that has namecard pasted on the door  that says the exact same name of where I'm about to head at this place.

"So this is it.", I breathed out some puff of air before giving the door some couple of knocks.

"COME IN!", I heard someone shouted from the inside. I took it as my go signal so I slowly opened the door and there's two figures wearing all black attire sitting beside a long table appeared on my sight.

"Good morning,  are you the ones who I am set to have some talk with?", I asked them shyly after greeting them.

"Looks like you are the one we are looking for. Please, take a seat.", this lady with a short hair offered me the empty chair in front of her and I took the initiative to follow her and seat on it.

"What's your name again?

"YN/LN."

"Nice to meet you, YN. I'm Kim Nayeon.", the lady introduces herself and gave me her hands for a handshake which I accepted. " People around here mostly calls me Sadness because... uhh did you watched Inside Out?"

"That Disney film? Yeah."

"Guess you already got my point then.", we both chuckled after. Well I did that because yeah definitely she looks like and reminds of that character Sadness from that film. Although the difference is that this lady laughs while the animated one isn't.

"I'm Min Hyunwoo. Just call me by my nickname Pinky.", the dude gleefully took the turn to introduce himself to me. I also have him a handshake too.

"So, YN congratulations once again for being accepted to become a part of the staff team.. you must be wondering who are we belong to?", Sadness noona asked me, crossing both her arms after pointing herself and Pinky hyung.

"Yes, Sadness noona. That's what I'm getting curious about now.", I smiled.

"Well, don't worry, you'll finally know what group it will be.", she smiled at me and pointed her finger at me. Me on the other hand, gasped when I heard that I will be working for a group artists not a solo one. Oh now this makes sense why do they need new manager. Guess they need additional or replacement of assistance and guidance for who may this group is?

"You see..., the reason why we hired a new manager is that the previous one already had his contract expired and to deep decision making, he decided to continue focusing on living his life for a new future. Well, he's been with us for 7 long years already.", she started explaining to me the reasons why they hired me here to be belong with them.

That left us with one empty spot, we wouldn't let that happen especially that we are assisiting a lot of members here.", she continued.

"I understand.", I nodded to her.

"Let's go to the point already, shall we? So the group we're assisting is TWICE.", then she flipped her ID along with Pinky hyung too, showing their picture along with their names and I can see from the bottom is where their position being stated, what division are they and from what artist are they.

I'm literally seeing it clearly. It is TWICE. The Nation's Girl Group, one of the biggest and legendary girl groups ever existed in 3rd generation and in the history of K-Pop. Multi-awarded and... I can go on and on with how I can describe them with their achievements just like how the fans like me and everyone praise them of.

Such a bigtime moment for me indeed. This time i'm gonna work with the legit huge superstars of not only here in South Korea... but around the world.

"T-TWICE?", I exclaimed in shock.

"Yes. Do you know them?", Pinky oppa asked me.

"I-I know them, ofcourse.", I stuttered as I embarrasingly answered.  "They're one of the powerhouse of the 3rd gen groups and hell... they're already one of the best there ever is in K-Pop industry."

"Great, then are you familiar with the members."

"Yes. Actually I'm a ONCE so...", I bragged to them. While I was trying to find the next words I was gonna say, Ssdness noona quickly went on to speak next instead.

"Then that's great. You'll be able to get along with them easily.", Sadness noona impressingly said to me.

"So since we had an empty spot for manager position, we have one member from the group that lost one too.", she said which made me form my mouth an "o" shape because of how interesting it is.

"And that's Yoo Jeongyeon, the lead vocalist of the group.", Pinky-oppa revealed to me the name of that member which instantly made me halt on my seat.

I didn't noticed that while I was staring at the unknown, my head is slowly going lower and my lips slowly frowning  because of those plently of memories I have with this person all coming back to me once again.

Damn it, I just remembered that she was part of this group. How couldn't I noticed it earlier? Ah well maybe I was really that pumped up on getting a new job experience.

It's been a long time since I never saw her in person. Yeah, I can only see and hear her only now from the screen and the speakers  but never in face to face.

Well... there's something happened before that prevented us to do so that lasted for more than half of a decade now.

But it looks like the streak is finally gonna get broken as we gonna meet again for the first time in a long time since I am one of the managers of the group and...

That only means, we are assigning you to become Jeongyeon's new manager. Is it clear to you?", Pinky-oppa said to me while I was out of myself. Suddenly I got snapped back into reality after that.

"J-Jeongyeon? Oh.. u-uhm, Y-yes.", I nervously answered then gulped in my throat.

"Good. You seem a bit spacing out, YN. Are you okay?", Pinky-oppa worriedly asked me as he leaned his face a bit closer to check on me. I called it already, I was too obvious on being unmmovable as I think of her again.

"Y-yeah, i'm just... stunned and.. maybe excited? I mean, she's my bias that's all.", I used my another reason as an excuse to him.  Well that was from my ONCE self. But... this real YN self of mine isn't really near from that same kind of feeling my fanatic self is having.

"Great! Then you must know her personality then too. Don't worry, what you see from her and them in front of the camera, that's also who they are in real life.", Sadness noona assured me with a smile.

That's why we can't help but to give pure love and care to these girls because they deserve it. So, we're expecting that you'll do the same as what the previous before you had done for Jeongyeon and to the other members okay?", Sadness noona said as she's expecting the response she wants me to gave  to her.

"Okay. I got that."

"And also, you're living in your dream now huh.", Sadness noona said to me while wearing that smug look expression on her face. "At first you were just watching and hearing her and now you're literally all close with her almost all of the time when she needs to. You must be, let's say excited and flustered too.", she said while smirking. I can also tell from her voice and the way she pronounced as if she's teasing me.

"Let's say, both?", I answered. After that all three of us burst into laughter.

"Makes sense.", Pinky hyung said, nodding while pursing his lower lip. "It's all clear now then, let's end the meeting here. Starting tomorrow you are gonna be a part of TWICE family and also JYP family, you got us? You'll be now free to start with us, we need you also since we are preparing for the girls schedules."

"Noted."

Sadness noona then stood up and went closer towards me to greet me again for a congratulatory handshake which I accepted, also for Pinky hyung who did the same to me. Ah I really think I can get closer to them anytime soon. They're just too kind and very nice to be workmates. I guess they really are like this even more since the artists they are managing has also pure hearts within them.

"That's it, congratulations again YN. Take care of our Jeongyeonie.", Sadness noona said to me that sadly I slowly went away from her hand to break the shake when she mentioned her again.

"I will.",

I slightly smiled but thank God that isn't enough for them to notice again if i'm not feeling well.

I left the meeting room after our conversation, solidifying my new job here in JYP Entertainment. Well, it looks like my new journey and beginning would be tomorrow. I'm getting excited and nervous at the same time.

Excited because I'm gonna be meeting the group I've been stanning since their debut days and nervous because I'm gonna meet her again after 7 years.

The woman I once fell in love into. The woman who I believed in that is "the one" for me. The woman I tried to keep her beside me still but I can't... and all I had to do was to let her go instead because it's for our own good, especially hers... even though it was hard and very painful to do but I don't have any choice.

And that only woman is none other than Yoo Jeongyeon, my ex- girlfriend... which everyone doesn't know about. If i'm not mistaken Jeongyeon haven't shared any info about us in the public.

I wonder how long my secret would be kept though.

After that, I finally exit JYPE to went home to rest, prepare myself not only to  my first work at JYPE and with TWICE... but also for meeting her again.

(THE NEXT DAY)

Me and Sadness noona are here standing in the hallway as she knocked on a door three times to gain the attention of someone who is inside this dorm we are facing at.

It opened, and the leader of the group I'm gonna be managing just revealed herself to us to greet Sadness noona who knocked on the door. I just stared a bit at Jihyo because even though I stan Jeongyeon, I admit that wow she really look more of a goddess in personal.

"Oh hey, Sadness unnie.", Jihyo greeted Sadness noona afted she looked at her.

"Hey Jihyo.", Sadness noona replied. Then I noticed Jihyo turned her head towards me nd now our eyes met for a second. I can tell from her expression before she returned her sight back at Sandess noona is that she got surprised.

"Uhh, who's him unnie?", she curiously asked, taking a quick glance at me again.

"The reason why we're here.", Sadness noona answered. Jihyo didn't understood wjat that meant but ut only lasted for seconds when Sadness noona commanded her to do a work. "Let him inside, he has something important for all of you to tell. I'll go now and leave him here okay?"

"Sure, unnie. I'll take this one.", Jihyo nodded and gave noona an assuring smile. Sadness noona believed and then she patted my shoulder and gave me a comforting smile before passing towards me and left this floor inside a dormitory building.

Now it only left us to Jihyo and me. It's such a surreal moment for me to stand here in personal to the one and only Park Jihyo.

"Hey.", she gestured me with a quick head and eyebrows raise.

"Hi. I'm YN.", I shyly introduced myself. God that would've sound very cringe for me.

"I'm Jihyo. Come, i'll introduce you to my dormmates, I'll just call the rest.", she then gave me a way inside the dorm so I accepted it a walk my way through it. After she stepped aside, she closed the door.

Then she reached for her phone and chatted someone. Turns out, it was the rest of the members as they head inside and gathered around.

Now we are finally inside their dorm and these 8 beautiful, talented and cheerful other members are all here in the living room as they looked at us with Jihyo, especially with one of them whose eyes can't get enough of me.

I noticed there then thay she hasn't left her sight out of me after she just got entered in Jihyo's dorm and she saw me. She must've been very surprised deep inside.

But only one thing I can clearly describe based from her stare.

Longing.

"What's with the sudden meeting, Jihyo unnie?", one of the maknaes of the group, Chaeyoung asked Jihyo. She then set her eyes next to me and furrowed her eyebrows. "And who's him?"

"That is why I made you all come here tonight because YN here has something to announce to all of you based from what Sadness unnie told me." Jihyo said to give them an idea on what gonna happen tonight. "So uhh, YN, the floor is yours.", then she gestured me to speak next by showing her free hand and leading me more closer from her.

I followed her and now I literally look like I got the spotlight and i'm the middle of the stage which they are my audiences. I gulped very hard on my throat before coming out of the announcement i'm going to make.

"Hi, I'm YN LN and you all may be wondering why I came here unexpectedly through being sent by Sadness noona is because I'm here to inform you all that I am the newly hired member of TWICE staff or your staff, serving as the new manager and mostly assigned personally for... Jeongyeon.", I produly said to them even though I slightly slowly lowered my voice at the end when me and the face of a very familiar woman in my eyes matched together. Her eyes widened in shock when she heard that.

It's okay, Jeong. I had the same reaction as yours yesterday.

"Oh! I knew it! I'm calling it from the start that they found a replacement already for Jinjin oppa.", Nayeon said, clapping her hands once to express success on her theory while showing her toothy grin.

"Same unnie. ", one of the Japanese members of this group, Mina nodded. "When I heard they brought a stranger here in the dorm I can tell it that it's about the vacant manager spot."

"Welcome, YN oppa! Please take care of us!!!", they all said their message for me in perfect sync. It made me smile because of how adorable they looked. I felt like a kindergarten teacher in front of my class who are paying attention to me.

"I will, girls. You all have my word.", I sweared to them. I observed Jeongyeon who slightly looked away and bowed her down when I saw a tint of redness on her cheeks which made me kinda confused why she acted like that.

"Jeongyeon, since you already met your new manager here. I think it's your turn for you to say your message for YN oppa here.", Jihyo said to her older and co-member who's trying really hard to avoid my gaze for a while. Her head raised immediately at Jihyo's command.

"D-do I really need t-to?", Jeongyeon stuttered in embarassment. I can see she's really trying to look at me but at the same time she's forcing herself not to.

Ah, her cuteness didn't changed at all.

"Why? Don't you like him?", Jihyo puzzledly asked Jeongyeon as she pointed her hand at me as if she's presenting me.

"N-no! It's just...", Jeongyeon quickly said as her face looks getting even more pressured at how unescapable she is at this moment. She just sighed deeply and gatheted her courage to tell me the words I want to hear from her as an artist and as her new manager.

...fine. Please t-take care of me well, oppa."

"There you go.", Momo then gave Jeongyeon a thumbs up and a smile. "I'm still confused what's making you think twice."

"It's fine girls.", I said not onlu for Momo but for the rest of them already brcause I know even though they haven't spoke their thoughts about what happened to Jeongyeon, they are just thinking the same thing as Momo. I mean... it's pretty normal to be shy. I'm just new here and... I don't blame her for acting like that.", I smiled at them, while kinds feeling proud for my save to Jeong.

"Anyways, don't worry Jeongyeon... you have my word. I-I'll take care of y-you.", I said to her. Wait, why am I having pauses at my words and my breath got heavy when I saw Jeongyeon uncontrollably smiled at me?

So uhm, yeah. If you all wouldn't mind? I have to go now to fix my things on my new room.", I looked at Jihyo to send to her my request more since she is like the one serving as my tour guide here around the dorm right now.

"Sure oppa! Thank you again!", we bowed at each other before Jihyo and I went to my new room and introduce me around  there.

(TIMESKIP- 2 WEEKS LATER)

JEONGYEON'S POV

We are currently having a break right now at our photoshoot for a magazine cover since we are the ones chosen to be featured there.

While I was drinking my iced coffee in Starbucks, a tofu was slowly coming near me on my seat and then asked me something.

"Unnie, can we ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?", I said to Dahyun after sipping some amount of my drink.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Dahyun who responded her question to me but it was Tzuyu, my maknae who is sitting in front of me in our table. Makes sense since technically based from what Dubu said, it's THEIR question so it also makes it as Tzuyu's one too. "Do you have a problem with our new manager YN oppa?"

"Eh? W-what made you say that?", I asked to them with a slight curiousity from my voice. I wasn't shocked though because I called it already that they'll gonna notice it.

I know I'm trying to break the ice between us but somehow it was difficult for me to do so. I just don't really know why am I getting scared and nervous very much to interact with him.

Maybe it is because the fact that I am still not getting over with him yet and to our relationship that ended years ago that I never wanted to happen in the first place.

Although it was a long time ago, my heart still beats only for him... so that explains why after all this time, it's still always him.

I just can't see any other man like him, that's all. He's beyond way too uncomparable because he is very unique only for me.

"We notice these days that whenever you and him are together, you two weren't talking that much with each other.", then she glanced at YN who is talking with Sadness unnie, Pinky oppa and the rest of the management and staff team outside.

I mean like... yes when it comes to things that you both should do but it doesn't look like more where it seems like you two are getting along with each other. We can feel the awkwardness between you two.", Dahyun worriedly said to me. There it is. She said it all clearly what was going on between us and YN these days since he became my manager.

I really doing my best but at the same time it was like I was fighting with myself to conquer this difficulty i'm having.

I'm even more afraid that YN might probably feels exactly the same as me because of how weird I treat him. It makes me go overthink now that maybe he thinks i'm disrespecting him.

"Don't be shy to tell us, unnie if there's something about him we don't know that's bothering you.", Tzuyu said, giving me a smile I always loved to see on my maknae's adorable baby face. That cheered me up seriously, as I am like a stressed mother being comforted by her beloved daughter.

"It's not girls okay? I'm all fine, don't worry.", I chuckled to ensure to them that the mood is still here with us.

"Even the staffs are worried about the two of you, unnie. Was there anything truth with what you said?", Dahyun said and asked to me. Looks like she's getting a little bit of doubt against me I can't blame her, I guess my actions really caught the eyes of many people around me now. Now the amount of myself feeling really apologetic has increased more.

"S-so many of you h-have noticed it already?", I asked nervously.

"Yeah. Nayeon and Jihyo unnie were the first ones also."

"Ofcourse they are.", I sighed. Well, they are the ones who know me the most and longer since we're friends since pre-debut days. "Fine, I already knew it would come to this anyways.", then I started to gain some fresh air to breathe since what I'm about to do needs an exact amount of courage and confidence. It is for the sake of making things all cleared up so I need to do it. After all, I trust these kids with me with all my heart so it's really not gonna take me too long to share to them and realize what exactly is going on with me and YN

"I don't need to do some get along with YN because... I know him already. Way before he become our manager.", I finally started.

"Oh, really? He was your friend?", Dahyun asked.

"H-he was more than that.", I smiled. He's something special to me. U-until now.

He was... he was my ex-boyfriend.", then my smile got mixed with bitterness because I really hate hearing and speaking it by myself with that word. I really didn't want him to became my former love. I never wanted us to separate from each other.

"HUH?!", Dahyun and Tzuyu shockingly exclaimed together.

"So that was him you were talking about us before, unnie?!", Tzuyu aksed me, feeling disbelief. Yes, that was right. I mentioned and shared that I had a past relationship before with someone but I never mentioned YN's name to them.

"Yeah, he is.", I nodded. I was just keep playing with this empty cup of Starbucks in my hands as I am just staring at it while I spin it while I shared to them now a summary of me and YN backstory of  our relationship before. "And I'm just sorry if we may look awkward with each other it's just... I really don't know how to talk properly with him, especially when I still remember what happened to us in our bitter past.

I was the responsible for our break-up back then. We were still going strong at that time but... suddenly what I promised to him that I'll never let him go, I broke it.

I was pursuing my dreams at that time on becoming a K-Pop idol. Trainings and school all day long. But when I became part of SIXTEEN, that's what the pressure mostly arrived and... I... I couldn't just let ourselves reach to the point where we will gonna be able to slowly loose time with each other. So I did what I thought it's best for us. I... I asked him for us to part ways.", I gulped heavily as I'm trying to hold my emotions while I'm having a flashback of YN's hands slowly slipping away from my grasp after I said my reason for breaking up with me.

It was raining at that time and all I had in my mind while I was walking on my way home is that I left the precious man I cherish the most out of everyone all broken and standing alone, just maybe wanting me to say that what I did was just a joke and I'll come back running to his arms again.

I wanted to do that but I couldn't, but now that he's here... I had that plan in my mind if I could do it again.

But i don't know if I have a home to return again when I do that.

"Unnie, there was nothing wrong with it. Atleast what you did is understandable. You showed that you cared for one another even if it's another way you did, but that's what matters right?", Dahyun grabbed my hand and her soft smooth thumb is massaging my hand very comfortably.

" It may be heartbreaking, but you thought mostly on what's gonna be the best for the two of you. So don't full yourself with negativity that you might thinking you just wasted your relationship with him and making him feel like you don't need his love anymore and so on.

No you didn't. It was meaningful. Sometimes, we really gotta do sacrifices for something we know it's gonna be important in our lives, mostly for our future, even if it costs something or someone to lose which we either do or don't want to let go."

"And also, for sure unnie, you must felt some regret of letting him go for where you are right now. Who knows, maybe he can feel it too.", Tzuyu added.

"I do. Very much.", I nodded, keeping my head low as I started to sniff when my first teardrop finally lets go out of my eye. "Especially that I still love him. I may be set apart from his side for years, but I never let him vanish from my heart and mind.", and then Dahyun let me lay my head on her shoulder as she gently patted my head while Tzuyu came beside me also and gave me a hug.

(MEANWHILE... 3RD PERSON POV)

"I don't know. I'm no interested in falling in love with anyone these days. Maybe I rather should just focus on what I'm having right now, and that is work.", YN shrugged, again roaming is eyes around.

Still I'm happy for Jeongyeon on what she achieved today and I will always be there to support like I always do for her secretly since her debut.", he gave a genuine smile to the two person he's talking with.

"Well that was sad. But seriously, you two should get a closure instead if that so. You should atleast make peace from your history with her. You really sure you aren't feeling something again for Jeongyeon?", Pinky tried to clarify things again to YN.

"None. It was all in the past. All I can say for her is that she really looked more beautiful today.", then he took a peek at Jeongyeon sitting with the members who were just finished having their orders.

Seeing Jeongyeon's dazzling and blinding bright grin along with her perfectly structured beautiful face makes him secretly want to think again twice on what he just said to Pinky.

(2 DAYS LATER) JEONGYEON'S POV

"Okay! 20 minutes break everyone! Great job so far, Jeongyeon.", the director of my ongoing production of my melody project shouted. It gave the staffs around here and me a signal to start having our lunch today.

"Thank you director nim.", then we bowed at each other. After that, I turned around to find my manager YN since I'm planning something today and this could be a perfect timing for me.

Well my plan is just pretty simple. I just want to bring back our closeness and catch up those long times we haven't spend together. I'm just hoping that it will be just fine to him.

Yeah, I'm still nervous and afraid that what I did to his heart is still fresh after all this years so I want to do this really careful where it won't widen the stabbed wounds even more.

I spot him holding my bag and my cellphone just watching everyone go with their close ones to take a break. I approached him very slowly but is enough for me to get alert so he also starts moving forward. Still, I can feel the awkward tension between us but I would just rather stick to my plan still to break it.

"Uhh, manager YN."

"Yes, what is it Jeong?"

"Let's go buy some food, please. I'm starving.", then I touched my stomach to express my hunger right now. I wasn't lying tho because I really went to work at an early time in the morning. My sleep plus my breakfast were not so much for me to be satisfied.

"Sure thing.", he smiled at me then he turned around and starts walking first with me behind him. Yes! He accepts, now all I gotta do is to start trying next.

We entered at a cafe after and we went to its counter to order from my choice in the menu.

"2 iced cappucino and 2 croissants with 2 slice of red velvet cake please.", I said to the cashier who was patiently waiting for me.

"That was much food. You really are starving huh.", I heard him speak which was kinda unexpected. He only speaks if it's important especially when it is about work. I wasn't complaining though. I need to keep this going still.

"I am, but not because I bought many food. I did it on purpose since the rest is for you.", I looked at him with a smile on my face while I'm taking out some bills on my wallet. I saw him taken aback. He was surprised and confused at the same time.

"Y-You don't need to.", he embarassingly replied. I just gave a giggle after. He's still so cute when he's getting shy.

"Just take it. I want us to eat together."

"Uhh okay. Thanks.", then he did his best to smile for me which I appreciated so much. It was enough for me to warm my heart and to feel that what I did was worth it. Now for the plan..

10 minutes later, we are now sitting at our spot along with our orders on the table. I can clearly see his eyes sparkling at how delicious and refreshing our drinks and foods that we ordered.

Then I finally start our conversation with all my confidence to go along still with flow of the progress. "Sorry if this is too sudden. I actually want us to talk. You know... catching up things?", I scratched my arm.

"Don't worry, I understand Jeong.", he shook his head.

"So uhh... I really still am curious, how did you went here? In JYPE?", I said. I started taking my croissant and gave it a bite.

" I lost my job months ago. Then my friend who is working in entertainment agencies offered me a job to take and since I need it, I took it instead. There, I lasted long. Worked with Seventeen until my contract from another agency ended. While I am free, Sadness unnie found me and now here I am, as your personal manager.", he pointed us in our situation right now. I just nodded to signify that I understood his explaination.

Such a coincidence that this will be the way for us to meet again, right?", he added. He then made an awkward chuckle after that. Now that he's slowly inserting our connection between each other, I tried to join him too to mark the start of my plan.

"It is. Good to see you back again, YN.", I smiled. I then took a sip of my iced coffee after.

"Me too, Jeong.", he replied, smiling geniunely at me.

"How's it been for you through these years?"

"Great. There's some things I'm planning that I accomplished well.", he said, smiling  to show the fact that he was proud of it. "Got a new car, new house. I also helped my mom and dad to expand their business."

"Great to know that you, Eomma and Appa all doing fine. I remember when you were once always mentioning that to me.", I then formed a wide grin for how successful he is in life these days. Now with this it makes me feel proud of him too that I am hearing him sharing these things that were once just his dreams, hopes and prayers to achieve. He was mentioning this to me sometimes when we are lovers before.

I can also remember the times where he also included me in his plans since he told me that I am also special to his life beside his family... and all he wants to give for us is a better life and a better world to live in.

That kinda went true though. Because of his supports and encouragements, I will never be here where I am right now as a successful worldwide famous K-Pop idol.

But I was looking forward more than this like you know, just a normal life together with him.

Getting married. Having a family. Kids. And live happily ever after together until our breaths reach it's end.

But that was all gonna remain still as a dream and imagination instead because of what I did.

"Really happy for you that it went true.", I gave her a sincere smile but it quickly went away when I thought of those things he shared that was only exclusive for me.

"Thanks, Jeong. Also the same for you.", he showed an appreciative smile. I'm getting happy now that our conversation right now keeps going smoothly, just like what I wanted to happen. "Look at you now, you are a superstar, a K-Pop idol, just like also you wanted to become which you've been sharing to me before."

"It must've been pretty feeling proud for the both of us that we both achieved our respective dreams for ourselves, doesn't it?"

"Can't wish anything more."

"Y-you sure, YN? D-do you remember still what you also said you were willing to give to me? B-because I still do..."

I then nodded and showed my fake smile with it. It hurts me to hear that, as if he like forgot about it anymore. Oh wait a minute, I deserve this anyways. I'm the one who caused it.

"But aside from that, even though I got what I wanted... there's something that it makes me feel lacking at."

"Oh? What is it?", he curiously asked me.

"It's you, YN."

"I-I don't know.", I said with my very obvious cringe and fake laugh. Won't be surprised if YN saw me went weird with that. It's his fault that I'm being like this when I'm with him. If only I could say to him that he needs to take responsibility for making me go crazy in love once again because he's here again with me.

But im certainly sure that I really wanted it to be in my hands again and will stay with me forever where nothing can't stop it anymore.", I gave my excuse to him which I secretly gave some hints to him.

"Keep trying to figure it out and see it for yourself, Jeong. I think it's your destiny anyways to get what you deserve to have.", he said as a comfort and a support for me. He was making a point though. I once got him, yes I'll consider it a destiny... but I wonder if us getting back together as lovers would also be included with that.

"Maybe I am. But let's see what time awaits for me to have."

"And I hope one of it was to make your heart mine again for me."

I then shrugged and we both continued finishing our foods.

10 minutes later, we walked out of the cafe and just about as we take one final step of the stairs, I asked him something.

"Anyways, would you mind for us to have some walk around while we wait for the filming to went onboard again?"

"I would gladly to take it.", we both smiled and then we both started walking synchronously together in the sands of the seashore of the beach.

"The breeze here is so good. Gives enough coldness to my skin.", he puffed some small amount of air from his mouth and looked around the bright sky above us. His eyes then landed at me whdre he caught me just watching him doing everything he does which was very embarassing. I got worried if did I looked like an idiot while doing that.

"Hey, Jeong what's wrong? You keep staring at me.", he chuckled as he grabbed my left shoulder.

"Nothing, it's just I can't believe you're here again YN.",  I said while tracing his facial features. "You really looked better than ever."

"Same as I can tell for you.", he pursed his lower lip. "The long hair style of yours is a hundred percent perfection. Bet you are attracting many more ONCEs this time huh.", he smirked, teasing me.

"Well, they're begging for me to do this ever since the Yes or Yes era so I tried it, so yeah I think it is. I wouldn't mind it anyways.", I said. "They want it, they got it. I'm happy that my looks are being appreciated where they can feel like that.", then we both fell into a second of quiteness as we took a bit of a time to admire the scenery around us. It gave me a perfect opportunity to do also what I was really wanting to have with him today.

"I'm sorry."

He then looked at me with his furrowed eyebrows. "For what?"

"7 years ago. You know what I mean.", I then stared at him seriously. Now I made also set his emotion the same as mine too when I am sure that he started to get back those memories we had before.

"Cmon, Jeong. It's fine. That was a long time ago now. We're okay, don't worry.", he's still able to comfort and assure me even though deep inside I know he is still getting affected with it. Please, YN don't pretend as if what I've done to you was easy to forgive.

"Really? But you can't blame me for this. I know broke your heart that night.", then we stopped our tracks and we faced each other, me raising my head a bit more to connect my eyes onto his as he listened attentively to what I am saying. " Our goodbye weren't good because of what I did. You though I wouldn't had it in mind that you'll be against it? I couldn't do anything but to leave you cause I need to, not because I want to. I've been wanting to say this to you but we lost contact now since then after that.

Now that we are here again, reuniting for the first time after we had our bittersweet end, I just thought that this could be a great opportunity for me to say this to you.

You know that if I have another option, I would rather choose the part where I could keep you stay with me?", I then gulped heavily as I can feel my emotions about to break down once again in front of him. It makes it even more harder to control since I'm literally in front of the person who knows and the main reason about all what I've been through.

" I know. So there's nothing to apologize for, Jeongyeon. I understand it all.", he sighed. He then dropped my bag carefully beside his leg and in the sand and shockingly held both my shoulders. It made me look at him intently.

"Yes, it still hurts but I set it all aside.", he turned his head back and forth as he turned his expression with a sass. " I chose to support you instead and be happy for you, because that's what you want to feel the same to ensure what you did has it's purpose.

Take it all easy now, Jeong. I can't and there's no way I can't hate you for something you never wanted to do.", he then looked around my eyes like a sun and moon following the spin of its world it belongs with.

After that, I unconsciously crushed my body onto his, locking in a tight, warm and longing hug that I missed for years. Little did I know that his eyes widened, his lips twitching and eyes blinking rapidly to control also his emotions when he heard me start sobbing and staining his shirt wet with my tears

"You don't know how it's such a relief for me to hear those words from you again. I just can't believe you still, you are too kind for me... after what I've done to you.", I said with a muffled sound as my face all buried at his well built chest and pleasantly smell men perfumed shirt.

"Why would I need to be harsh on you though? It's not as if like you cheated and broke my trust completely.", he said with a mix of confuse and funny in his voice. "You just decided to focus more on walking the path to your dreams, Jeongyeon. I don't have any rights to control your life and decide what's better for you.", then he starts giving some sshhh sounds and rubbed my back gently to slowly stop crying.

And when I did, I slowly let go of him and I wiped my tears away, but YN insisited to continue the work by taking the cloth away and wiped my eyes instead. I blushed at his gentleman act.

"So... should we call this our closure? Can we be friends again?", I slightly looking, feeling embarassed as my cheeks starts heating up.

"You don't need to ask that, Jeong. You still is and always will hold a special role in my life.", he then gave me a huge smile. My heart melted, my butterflies in my stomach are panicking in happiness and my face enlightened when I heard. Oh god, he didn't... he didn't forgot me still, we just had finally our closure and most importantly, he stil considers me as one of the most important people in his life! Wouldn't it be such a very heartwarming message to say to someone whom you haven't saw  in 7 years?!

With my overflowing happiness, I just let my body have it's control by hugging him once again which I heard him got choked for a second because of the impact I made to his body. "Sorry if that was sudden. I really needed it. I missed you a lot."

"Me too, Jeong.", then he patted the top of my head which made me giggle like a kid.

"Uhm, how's the status of your lovelife these days, YN? Are you feeling lucky with some new girl?", I tried to tease him but actually that was just a move for him to clarify and have my clear information about it.

"Not interested.", he sighed then shook his head.

"Eh? Why though?", I raised my eyebrow." Cmon, it's such a waste if you won't try loving someone. You were a great boyfriend too.", I playfully bumped his shoulder with my elbow while wearing a smug expression to my face.

Then suddenly, he became serious, looked at me very deeply and went closer towards me that made me went shaking for a bit. I was nervous if he is angry of how irritating I become when I did that.

"Because I stopped loving anyone else since the day I let you go."

H-huh?

H-he... wh- what is happening?

Did he just admit that he still-

Just don't feel like I can treat others the same as you when you're too special and one of a kind for me." And with that, my heart abnormally beats on its own as if it's going to explode now.

He... he still loved me despite what happened between us...

Just as when I'm about to talk, I heard the director shouting from a distance that they're calling us to continue the shooting now. "Oh, the break is over. Cmon, Jeong let' head back."

But I never let that to escape this moment again to ask him. So when he was about to walk, I pulled his arm to make him turn and face me.

"W-wait, YN... is that true?", then he went silent for seconds until he slowly lowered his head to avoid my gaze and answer me.

"It is."

(3 DAYS LATER)

"Good morning, oppa!", I greeted my manager YN who is standing in front of his door after he opened it for me as I visited him here in his dorm.

"Oh Jeongyeon, good morning too. What brings you here?", he said while scratching his not so fully awake eyes.

"You said I don't have any schedule for today right?"

"Yup. Day off.", he nodded.

" I'm planning to go out and relax, uhm would you mind to come and join me?"

"Yeah sure. Got it.", he agreed. "Shall I prepare now?", he asked, pointing his thumb behind him.

"Mmhhmm. We'll leave after I take my breakfast.", I answered while I smiled  and nodded at him. After that, he closed the door and I returned back to my dorm and went to my room very lively, not noticing my co-members looking at me very suspiciously while Nayeon and Jihyo are mostly smirking at each other since they mostly understood the hint why am I being like this.

Few hours later here at the mall, we stopped by to a salon that I once usually visiting in before the company gave us a personal salon to went through, especially if its for the preparation of our decided style in our comebacks.

I decided to change my hair today since yes, our comeback as a group is getting near. I just done having my hair getting cut and changed into blonde color and now I'm about to approach my manager YN who is patiently waiting for me at the waiting room while reading a magazine.

(YOUR POV)

I was reading a sports section in a magazine when I felt someone was coming towards me. Right at the moment, I heard Jeongyeon's voice calling my name.

"YN"

"Hmm?"

"How do I look?", then I turned down the magazine i'm holding on my lap and I finally saw her with her new blonde short-hair look. What more else can I say other than beautiful? If only I can describe her all the words that has the same meaning as it.

"W-wow... uhm. Y-yeah, it's great. It suits you.", then I can't help but to adore her gorgeous beauty even more with her hairstyle. Wait, what is this feeling i'm having? Why do I suddenly feeling like I'm getting enchanted by her charms? Like i'm being hypnotized by her magic.

No... this can't be, I already told and warned myself with this. I should never let myself fall in love again.

"Oppa approves so that's a yes to me then.", then she stroked her hair and did like some sort of an aegyo to me which wow thanks Jeongyeon, you even made me struggle at bit more to contain fighting myself. "You decided to change your hairstyle, I see.

"ONCEs were requesting me to go for blonde, then I'll give it to them. Plus, I want to cut my hair short too.", she smiled.

"Just do what you want, Jeongyeon. Whatever it is, you'll still look great with it anyways.", I gave her a thumbs up which made her smile adorably while I noticed some reddish tints on her cheeks. Did she blushed? Why do I like to observe it?

"Does it look great for our comeback, oppa? I was worried I may disappoint and not be attractive to their eyes, you know? Like, they can't look at me the same as the other members.", she said as she slowly starts to frown in front of me.

I don't actually know what I am doing but it was like something possessed in me that I can't control myself anymore. I cupped his chin and raised her head to look at me straight. "Stop worrying about that, Jeongyeon. Do you remember that you are much more famous from your short hair because that's where you started in your career as part of TWICE. Then for sure the fans will go pumped up seeing you again with that hairstyle they first fell in love to, especially the ones who are stanning you.

But just so you know, Jeongyeon. You are and always will look like a princess in every ones, eyes. Even me, I admit it too. You deserve their attention and for sure with the fans, you're getting it.", I said those motivating and heart shaking words to her to prevent her for dropping her mood more.

"Thank you oppa, you made me flushed with your words.", she then laughed, trying so hard to cover her face which is getting really red now. "I'll do my best for our return."

"Sure you do.", then we said "fighting!" and raised our fist together as a gesture.

We exit the salon and walked around the mall to reach and look there on the floor where most restaurants are placed.

"Where do you want to eat, oppa?", Jeongyeon asked me.

"I can't choose actually, uhh I'll just let you pick what you want then. I'm just here to assist you.

"Hey, I bro-", then at a snap, someone interrupted Jeongyeon that made her pause at her words. We then both looked at this man wearing a uniform holding a book containing a menu for a... promo?

" Hello, sir and maam would you like to try our limited edition couple promo in our restaurant?", this guy asked us nicely.

"Uhm, sir we are n-", I was about to correct and reject him when Jeongyeon spoke ahead of me and did the opposite.

"Tell me more about it."

"Well as you can see this is only available for couples so what you're going to receive here in our promo is that we have menu that is designed like a date package for the couple.", the guy starts to explain the promo his restaurant is having right now. "We also have our staffs to add more of a romantic vibe to it like playing a violin, candles and etc. Anything you two want."

"We'll take it.", Jeongyeon said to the guy which made me look at her while gasping at how confused and shocked I am. W-what is this? Why is she doing this? What is this woman thinking?

"Okay, maam. Welcome and follow me so that I can guide you to your seats.", then he gave me the way towards their restaurant which made their promo more sense because it mostly contain such a romantic aura and surrounding inside.

We had our seat together and now we are just waiting for our food, so I took this free time to ask her what is she doing with this since I am so clueless on what is all this about?

"Psst, Jeongyeon what is this? Why are we here, we are not even a couple?

"But I just want to try it though.", she chuckled. Aish, this crazy woman. "I never had this so... it made me curious hehe."

"You didn't had any man after me?", I asked her curiously.

"Too busy on my work and no one attracts me. They're just not my taste.", she sighed and shrugged. Guess that was understandable though. She was on a dating ban for 3 years, maybe when that ended, it just already made her lose interest looking for a guy to be in a relationship due to how hectic and strict her schedules in the company.

"Uhm... well, if that so...", I then paused for a second before revealing my thoughts. "I would be willing to give this experience to you.", I offered her.

"Y-You finally agreed now?", Jeongyeon shyly asked me.

" We are here already.", I said, presenting this place we are in right now for dinner. " It sucks if we gonna turn back, I don't want to hurt these staffs feelings thinking we don't like their promo so yeah. I say let's have a date tonight then.", I smiled to her. I hope she didn't misunderstood that though. I meant the date as a friendly one, not something more. I just want to help her with that and also not to ruin the fun for her.

But at the same time... why do I want to treat this date with Jeongyeon seriously?

" T-thanks, YN.", Jeongyeon smiled to me. "So we're gonna pretend as if we're in a relationship?"

"Yeah. To add the vibe, like what the guy said a while ago.", I chuckled nervously.

"Okay, hehe."

Few minutes later, the waiter arrives with our orders in thr tray as he placed it on our table one by one while me and Jeongyeon organized it for him.

"Here's your order, maam and sir. Enjoy your dinner and your date!", then he bowed at us nicely.

"Thank you.", we both said together. The waiter left and that left us with the two of us about to start eating our dinner for tonight.

"Thank you for this, YN. Seriously.", she said after she swallowed a bite from her food.

"No biggie. I don't want you to go home disappointed and sad for me being a no fun.", I said to her while shaking my head.

"Why would I? I am no fun too, you know?"

"Then should I replace Chaeyoung as your duo?", we both laughed because of that.

"Talk to her first then, but for me that's a no problem.", Jeongyeon said with a thumbs up. We went silent for a while to continue focus our eating then she went talking again when something crossed her mind.

"You know, even if you're not my boyfriend anymore... I think you still are the only man who can pull off this one perfectly for me.", she said which made me look up at her to listen more. "Much more, perfectly. It brings back such good memories and that makes this date even more awesome.", she smiled.

"Same too, Jeongyeon.", I said as I feel like I'm catching my breath because of my heart beating very fast which I don't why it's being like this. As I let her eat, I noticed something to her that made me look closer a bit to her.

"Wait, don't move."

"Why?", she asked after putting down the fork.

"Your cheeks and lips, there's sauce.", then I grabbed my towel and gently pressed it to the spots where her face got stained by a sauce. After I finished taking out the part on her cheek, my eyes landed on hers and we got trapped into a stare which I have no idea what was that and why did I do that? But I didn't complain about it... in fact, I even liked what I am seeing during that. Her beautiful face all covering my sight very closely.

Wait, no no no, stop this. Agh, YN can you just act normal please? Stop being like this!

"Oh hehe... thanks YN. That would've been embarassing for others to see.", she said as she covered her face with her hand.

"It may be but they can tell it too that the foods here is tasty that's why.", I laughed as I continued eating. She just pouted at me which I find it cute.

"You really are such a positive person still, YN. You never changed.", she said as she shook her head while chuckling.

"Gotta keep this one for me.C, I said, smiling while patting my head. "No matter how the world tries to bring me down and ruin my mood sometimes, all I have to do is to strengthen myself, keep on fighting and not minding it. Although I admit, sometimes I don't know if this will last long. I wonder what could be the help for me to take to conquer."

"Just open your eyes and heart, YN.", she said to me. "That's the only thing I can advice. Once you saw that someone or something, you must feel that you'll be happy and contented with it to be inspired and to be motivated."

"You're very right, and I will do it.", I said, nodding at her to emphasize how correct she is.  "Thanks for that, Jeong. I keep that in mind."

"I appreciate it too, YN."

Minutes later, we went out on the restaurant and thr staff thanked us for trying their service which was pretty good. It really felt like when we are spending our time together at the dinner, it was just like before where I used to be so in love with Jeongyeon. But I am just so confused, why did that whole time we werr having a "date", it was like I can feel something strange within me again... whenever I look at her in front of me?

I can't tell what it is... but i'm sure as hell it's very familiar. It's something that...

... I used to have before from Jeongyeon.

Is this love again? No way. I resisted many women who were trying to capture my heart from the past few years. And also, Jeong and I were done already. I'm probably sure she would rather prepare focusing more again on her job as a K-Pop idol to anyone. Jeongyeon is and will be just like them for me where I could never fall in love with, even again.

As we are about to leave the mall, the outside greeted us a very cold and slightly strong rain. I grabbed my umbrella and opened it, shielding us from getting wet in the rain.

I looked at Jeongyeon beside me and I noticed she's quite shaking, so I got concerned about it in an instant.

"You're shivering."

"I didn't know it will rain.", Jeongyeon said as she tried to get some warmth by cuddling herself.

"Me neither. It really is cold,", I said, heaving out some chilling air in the middle of the night. Then, I had an idea...

"Here, wait...", I gavr her the umbrella for a while and I took out my black jacket as a staff in JYPE out of my body. I took back the umbrella and I made her wore the jacket instead, whuch I foumd her looking shocked and worried about me.

"YN... what about you?"

" I can endure it.", I swiped it off with my hand. " You are most important one because you must not get sick since you and the girls are now preparing for the comeback.", then I helped her align the jacket more correctly. " Just wrap it all around you."

"Can I stick closer to you?", she said as she looked up to me while having those puppy sparkling eyes that' secretly making me slowly melt deep inside.

"Y- You can.", I stuttered. I didn't even realized that I am blushin already but thank god Jeongyeon can't see it clearly because it was mostly dark here. " It's good too so that the umbrella can protect us more and to add the warmth you feel. Hold on, okay? We're going to the car now.", then we start walking across the wet and slippery road to locate the parking lot and get onto our car.

As we entered, I opened the lights of the car and reached for the Let me wipe you with towel first. "I'll turn off the aircon to keep you warm okay?"

" Okay. ", she said. I then sat on the driver's seat to prepare starting the engine of the car but when I took a peek on the rearside view mirror, I saw Jeongyeon taking out the jacket I gave to her.

I felt really hot right now when I saw that. I gotta admit, aside from being very beautiful... she even got sexier and hotter than before. Sheesh, I even needed to gulp hard and breathe deeply before calming down again. What is happening to me?!

And wait a minute, did I just saw her smirk when she caught me lookinh at the mirror? Is she teasing me? Just so you know, she's literally being like this sometimes after we got our closure together at the beach. When she caught me watching her, she'll just randomly switch to a pose with a more fierce and seductive like aura, and here I am doing all my best to avoid it all.

Jeongyeon what are you really up to?

"Thank you for taking care of me, oppa.", she said after she finally covered herself with a towel to make herself more comfortable and warmer.

"You're welcome, Jeong.", I smiled. " You're all dry now. Let's get out of here so that we can head back home.", then I started driving the car on the way back to the dorm.

Minutes later, we finally reached TWICE's dorm. As I was about to call her name, I saw her lying on the passenger's seat, sleeping peacefully.

I tried to poked her and gently wake her up but to no avail. So what I did instead is  I don't want to disturb her though, I carefully carried her with my arms like a bridal style. I lightfully kicked the door to close and walked ahead to her dorm to bring her there.

I knocked on the door after we reached the floor where they live in. Gladly, Jihyo immediately answered my call as she opened the door for us.

"Oh, op- Je-", she was about to speak but I quickly gestured her to keep quiet to avoid Jeongyeon from waking up. "Ssshh... she's tired. Where's her room?"

"Beside Mina's.", she then pointed her thumb backwards to show the direction.

"Thanks.", then Jihyo gave me the way inside so I entered the dorm. I silently said hello to Mina who is playing Nintendo Switch inside on their living room.

I then head onto Jeongyeon's room and carefully laid her there on her bed. I grabbed her thick blanket and placed it on top of her to wrap her up. I assisted to lift her head to place the pillow there so that she can finally sleep comfortably.

Now I've done my job here, I stared at her peaceful sleeping figure and I can't help but to smile looking at her. She really doesn't have any time where she wouldn't be beautiful. Even at her slumber, she still looks like an angel sent from the heavens.

I'm too done being confused and getting weirded out of my actions today... so I tried to let it out instead, to the attempt that I guess it would make me understand it even more why am I being like this only to Jeongyeon.

I kneeled beside of her and flipped some strands of her hair on her face to the back of her ear as I am just staring at her beauty. I saw her free hand laying on top of her blanket and my heart started to increase it's beat as I slowly went on her hand to touch and grasp it gently.

I smiled again at that contact.

Not only my heart is working very active, but my mind also starts to collaborate too as I started to remember every happy memories I had with Jeongyeon before when she was my girlfriend where we used to hold hand wherever we go with just the two of us.

I didn't know that I was smiling like an idiot while I am reminscing those again.

I looked at our fingers intertwined together and I smiled widely again.

Looks like letting my actions was effective, because it was all coming to me now to understood that ever since I started acting really strange when me and Jeongyeon started talking again, my heart was the one who gets first react quickly.

I figured that the reason behind it was something I've been trying to deny... but it was the truth after all that I can't lie to myself.

It's all clear to me now that it is really my growing love for her again was the one responsible of it.

I-I'm still truly am in love with her then. With all the efforts of not wanting to love again, it's her I still ended up coming back into, huh.

Now that I finally had my mind made up, I caressed her cheek and stroked her hair one time to say my final words for her for today. "Goodnight, Jeong. I had fun today too.", then I kissed her hand before letting go as I stood up and exit her bedroom.

"I must go now, girls.", I said to Jihyo and Mina who are still playing Switch together.

"Sure, oppa. Take care.", they both said to me with a smile. I nodded at them but just before I start to twist the doorknob, Jihyo stopped me.

"Oh... wait..."

"Hmm why?"

"How was your time with her?"

"It completed my day.", I smiled at her. Goodnight, Jihyo."

"Goodnight, oppa.", she waved back at me, but then she stood up from her seat and walked closer towards on me to add something. "If you're having that because of her, might as well want to consider coming back to her. Oppa, she always thinks of you still after all this time. Better think again first.", she whispered to me. I just nodded back at her while smiling and after that, I finally went out of the dorm.

(THE NEXT DAY) JEONGYEON'S POV

"You had a date with YN-oppa?", Nayeon surprisingly asked me after I shared to them the reason why I'm smiling like an idiot right now as we walk out of the recording room.

"Well that explains the bright mood she's having today.", Momo smirked at me which I blushed to the meaning behind it.

"Yeah we did, but we just had it because it looks interesting.", I said, laughing at how fun it is. "That doesn't mean anything more.", I tried to lie at them but it was just a stupid move for me because they clearly know the truth anyways and I'm also too suspicious already that I'm literally doing all the moves these days to capture YN's heart again which made me look changed a bit because of how desperate I am to take him back once again.

"Aish, You know that it is not true to you.", Nayeon rolled her eyes and playfully pushed me. "I don't know about YN though if he feels the same already."

"If he doesn't, then might as well I keep on trying to make him again and again.", I shurgged and smirked at my thoughts.

We are in the middle of our way to the JYP BOB cafeteria here in JYP Entertainment building when these two dorks with me suddenly stopped on their steps. I looked at them both and they were just literally staring seriously at something.

"Speaking of making a move, yeah Jeong you should continue.. do it.", Momo said, showing her gritting teeth which signify cringeness instead of irritation.

"Uhm, okay I agree with Momoring.", Nayeon said, poking me to my arm. I looked at her as she was pouting her lips onto the direction where she is looking at.

I followed it and there, I finally learned what was the reason of their sudden halt.

I saw YN talking with Jieun noona, one of the managers here in JYPE who is part of the Stray Kids team. They really look so happy together. I wonder what they are talking about.

In an instant, my heart suddenly felt heavy. Every beat hurts as it was like trying to escape from my chest. I didn't noticed already that my smile on my lips slowly dropped and went upside down along with my mood that was bright at first, now turned into darkness.

Momo and Nayeon maintained their eyes on me even more when I saw YN and Jieun noona start to walk away from my view with Jieun wrapping her arms on YN's waist while his arms are wrapped around Jieun noona's neck.

I felt a mix of anger, sadness and jealousy all at once at that sight. Yeah, now I can definitely admit that it hurts for me to see the one I love doing that to others where especially what's worse is that I didn't even had any information on what's his connection with to that person. I didn't know that YN and Jieun noona are close and what do they treat at each other.

I then sighed heavily and slowly turned down my head while Momo gently patted my back as a comfort and Nayeon starts to cheer me up.

"Jeongyeon unnie are you okay?", Momo asked me.

"Y-yeah. Let's go... the coaches are starting to wait for us in the recording room. We sh-should eat now."

"You sure you want to still go to the cafeteria?", Nayeon asked me worriedly. I just replied to her with a nod and an assuring smile.

"The more you look at them, the more you'll feel pain, Jeong. So I suggest you nevermind them for a while.", Momo said to me, smiling. "Let's go."

We finally went to the cafeteria and started picking out some food to our plate from the trays presented on the counter.

As we head on to our spot located, I wasn't prepared that YN noticed me and approached me from behind which made me scared and flinched a bit. Now i'm even more mad at him for doing this to me.

"Hey, Jeong! Momo... Nayeon, Good morning!", YN greeted us which Nayeon and Momo greeted him back happily... well except for me.

"Morning.", I greeted back coldly instead.

"How's the recording so far?", he asked me with that damn smile he's having that is slowly making my heart fight back with my mood today. Damn it, YN! I still won't get away easily with what I just saw earlier.

"Good.", I answered while still not looking at him.

"O-oh... okay.", YN said, stuttering because he's starting to sense something wrong and he doesn't know what to do with it. "So uhh just reminding you that you have a photoshoot for Elle Magazine after this at 3PM okay?"

"Noted.", I started to pick up my spoon and fork.

"Hey, are you okay? Why so serious? It's too early to be like that.", he asked me, chuckling which I found irritating more than being adorable instead.

" I never wanted to be like this but suddenly I saw something that made me lose my mood.", I gave him a blank expression, enough for him to be intimidated and curious.

"If you excuse me, I have to eat now... we still have few songs to complete.", then I twist back onto my food and started eating it.

"O-oh... okay. Take your time."

(YOUR POV)

"What happened to her?", I mouthed to Momo who was watching along with Nayeon to us and Jeongyeon talking together which seems to be really weird because she's really cold, serious and somewhat frustrated at something that only makes me guess that there's something that's making him have such a bad time right now.

I wanted to help her as a friend since worried about her so I did it first through the ones who might know what problem she's having.

Momo then stood up carefully and went towards me for us to talk about Jeongyeon.

"She's jealous."

"Eh?", I confusingly reacted. Is that so? Wait, what happened and what made her be like that? "Why is she jealous?"

"Just like what she said earlier. She saw something that can be easily misunderstood.", Momo said to me. I still went silent since I really don't knwo anything to say more about that.

"Find out the truth through her, not me. I don't have the position to reveal things coming from someone.", I just nodded at her.

"And also, when you learned about it... cheer her up and I hope you'll do something to her that will turn out the best gift she'll receive tomorrow....

... because I can clearly tell you have it in you already, so don't be scared to reveal it tomorrow for her.", Momo winked and clicked her tongue at me while doing a gunshot pose. She returned back to seat and Nayeon gave me a supporting nod and a smile too before focusing back on their food.

(2 DAYS LATER)

Jeongyeon's birthday celebration just finished tonight. It was really fun, all the staffs, friends and the members are present to join the birthday girl celebrate her 26th birthday today.

We played some games, ate some delicious foods, talked some random things then sang and danced different songs by our own pick.

Now that the others already bid their goodbyes as they all went home, it makes us here left remaining in Jeongyeon's dorm. Jihyo, Nayeon, Jeongyeon and me were cleaning all the mess while the other members alresdy submit and went to sleep.

As I finished washing the dishes, Momo approached to me.

"Jeongyeon is outside, relaxing. You should do what you supposed to do for her now. She also wants to talk to you.", she said to me.

"Alright.", I nodded at her then I started to walk through the balcony where I found her standing in the middle of it, watching the nightview of their neighborhood while feeling the cold breeze.

"Hey.", I called her name from behind.

She turned her head at me. "Hi."

"Did you enjoy your birthday today?", I went beside her and looked around too just like what she's doing.

"I had fun. You guys are here that's why. Thank you for coming."

"Always welcome.", I smiled.

"The party is over now. Time really runs fast.", she chuckled.

"Yup but I chose to stay here for a little longer.", I sighed.

"Why?"

"Because I want us to talk.", she clearly knows what I am referring to so she lowered her head and frowned.

"Yeah, I do too.", she sighed and slumped her shoulders down. "Before you go... I want to say sorry. For treating you coldly these days. It feels like I am not respecting your ethic of work as my personal manager. If I may be harsh and rude to you, I didn't meant it seriously. Please don't be mad at me.", she apologized to me which I can reay fell that it is sincere.

"I am not mad, okay? I get it, sometimes we have these problems that we can't share to others easily and we will chose to keep it on ourselves instead.", my respond to her. " I respect that, Jeong. You don't need to worry.", I shook my head.

"I was jealous at that time.", she revealed to me the reason which I already know though.

"J-jealous? Of whom?", I acted a little bit that I didn't know about it but I made it also a little bit more real to the fact that I don't know who is she jealous at that affected our interaction these past few days.

"I saw you and Jieun noona last Tuesday, talking to each other very happily.", she explained to me. My eyes widened when I heard and learned that the reason all along why she's having this problem is because of... me?

Wait, what is going on in here? Jealous? W-why?

...I know it's normal but... there's something in there that... you two looked more comfortable together. Both of you were smiling from ear to ear, laughing together which is... I don't know. It's enough for me to feel stings in my heart.

Maybe it was the rising thoughts that she might make you try loving again when I am not the one instead who could be able to do that?", she then looked at me straight in the eyes as I can finally see her visible sadness all covered up in her face. Oh my God, did she just revealed that...

"Jeongyeon, y-you're still in love with me?", I asked her in disbelief. I let my jaw dropped a bit at the end of words to show how surprised I am at this reveal.

"Always, YN.", she gave me a bittersweet smile. She switched her gaze back at the dark sky with many stars sparkling around it as she starts explaining to me how. "After all these years, it was still always you I prefer to be with. That's why I am not interested with any other men around me.

When we broke up, it took me much time to heal. To let go. To accept it... but I can't. Everyday I'm still imagining what would it be like if you're with me while I'm living in my dream. It would've been more wonderful.

Then, years later from now. The chance of you coming back and seeing you again became reality, but I guess the part where we would be in love with each other again will remain fantasy.", I heard her sniff which I can tell that the emotions are starting to take over her, making me feel bad for this.

"Jeong you clearly misunderstood Jieun. We're just bestfriends okay? She doesn't like me or whatsoever.", I said my reason as I explained to her what really happened at that time. Take this as a part of my way to cheer her up today as what Momo requested for me to do. "I've been with her from my previous agency and she's the first one I met still.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I really do.", I said it with an apologetic tone.

"It's fine now, YN. Atleast I got enlightened now.", she shoved it off with her hand, trying to make me assure that everything will be okay now... but know that won't be easy since I finally learned that she's still in love with me

... and I am really glad to know about it, but at the same time something's bothering me too.

I mean, it makes sense. You said to me you aint gonna be interested loving someone anymore...", she lets out a fake smile because I know that hurts her for sure. I want to tell her already that it's not because I want to do it. I have a much important reason for that.

...but that won't stop me for starting to make a move for you. I just want you to love me again, so I'll do my best to make you. I am the one who pushed you away, then I'll be the one to pull you back from me.", she said to me. I blushed when she said that she's really doing her all efforts just to make me hers again.

It made me blush harder and went frozen at my place when she walked closer to me and leaned her face closer to the side of my face as she was going to whisper her words through my ears."If I had a chance for you still, please show it and don't hesitate on running back to me. YN... cause I will remain all open and still be here waiting for you.", then she kissed me on the cheek after that gave me goosebumps around my body.

She then started to walk away from me as she is about to return back inside the dorm, but I suddenly remembered about what I am supposed to do tonight for her.

Yes, I cheered her up... but from what I heard tonight from her, I know that wasn't enough yet.

I need to make her feel completely alright now, but how...?

Oh wait...

The one I've been wanting her to tell and feel also.

She said she loved me still...

And I figured out just last week that I still do love her too also, as it because it awakened more when we started to spend time together again.

This is it...

My birthday gift that I should give to her. I can't make her wait anymore too for it.

So what I did next is just I followed what she said to me before she's about to leave me here.

I ran back to her and to her surprise, she  felt my body bumped onto her back a bit strongly and my arms went all locked up around her.

I can hear her raspy breath and sense her increased breathing she's letting out as I buried my face on the crook of her neck.

"Y-YN?..."

"You have nothing received any gift from me today, because I can't afford to buy it. But... I still have something with me that only affection is the way to show it and now...I'm giving it to you, through this.",  I said to her as I tightened my hug more.

" I used to say before to anyone and to myself that I will never fall in love again but when until I found you, we meet and started being with you again these days made me change my mind instead....

...that I will rather never fall in love again, unless it's you I'll fall into. I admit that I was scared within the darkness of the possibility that I'll be left alone again, but I can't take it... anymore. I don't care about it, If I have to beg, I'll do it. Take me with you this time, please. Wrap me up in your arms as I hold you in my hands for this long.

I c-can't let you go again this time, Jeong. I missed you very much.", I said with my shaky voice as I started to cry in her shoulders that were starting to get her clothes stained wet.

I know you were dying to hear this for a long time. I still do love you.",

"W-what is it?", she asked me, still unable to look.

"I love you, Jeong."

"I can't hear it really, can you say it one more time?", she asked me again. Now I can tell that she was playing with me, so i'll just go with the flow too then.

" I SAID YOO JEONGYEON, I STILL DO LOVE YOU!!!", I spoke to her ears closer to make her hear loud and clear.

"YN!!!", she shouted my name then she aggressively turned her body to her and pull my head against her for a passionate kiss that was full of reignited love we had for each other again.

She the lets go and then went ahead next for a hug from her this time as she laid her head at the top of my chest where my heart is beating only for her while she's crying in all joy right now. "Thank you so much, babe. Oh my god I can't believe it... I have you again, you're back..."

"You're welcome, my love. I can't resist you anyways. I'm always yours only.", I chuckled.

"This time... no matter what happens that will try to seperate us apart, we will both face it first and not gonna let anything succeed from it, okay? Whatever it takes.", she cupped my cheeks as I looked at her intently with her loving eyes.

"You got my word.", I nodded at her. Then she lets go off me and then started to wipe off her tears of joy flowed down in her cheeks. After that, I was shocked when I received a slap on my arm.

"You know, I really thought I won't receive any gifts from you.", she then glared at me then pouted. God, she's so cute, so what I did is I pinched her cheek while I apologized to her for making her nearly anticipate for nothing.

"I'm sorry, okay? I kept it from me as a surprise because I thought you will really like this one the most out of anyone here.", I said to her, smiling."Did you liked it?"

"Do you really need to ask me that?", she laughed at me which I did the same. "Ofcourse I do, and you were right. That was the best, YN. Your love for me was something I don't want to risk losing again."

"You deserve it, love. Everything.", then I pulled to kiss her in the forehead which made her grin from ear to ear.

After that, I looked from the window where I saw Jihyo and Momo giving me a thumbs up which made me smile.

"Come, we should definitely rest now. We have work to do tomorrow.", I said to Jeongyeon which she nodded.

In the end, we returned back inside the dorm where I and even Jeongyeon thanked Momo and Jihyo and for the other members on supporting me with this.

Jeongyeon leads me to the door as I kissed her goodnight and gave her one last "I love you" for today before I finally left and went back to my place where I could sleep and then wake up the next day morning to start preparing for my work managing my artist and now once again my girlfriend, Yoo Jeongyeon of TWICE.

-🐶-

[deamstellarus]

In Viata Asta (3)

Pairing: Stucky x Reader Word Count: 6k Warnings: Uhm…none? Maybe injuries and language?

A/N: Sorry this update is so late! My work schedule was shit last week so I was behind on editing and posting. So! I thought posting a little early would help make up for it, and it’s the longest so far? Also yes I know, this gif doesn’t have that much to do with this update but I love how it looks.

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You woke up to murmured voices and mechanical beeps. You were in a bed in a very white room. You could only assume it was the infirmary of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Several IVs were attached to your arm. A woman with long dark hair in a bun and a white lab coat jotted something down on a clipboard beside you, then took her leave silently. Something was making your brain feel hazy. Your bets were on the strong antiseptics in the air, but it was more likely whatever pain meds they were feeding you. Your hand was bandaged now, your back probably was too for how tight it felt. You started to sit up in bed.

“You don’t want to do that, zvezdochka. With your luck, you’d probably pull all your stitches.” Natasha sat next to your bed in an uncomfortable chair, staring intensely at the screen of her tablet. She set it down on the small side table next to you, and pushed a button on a remote. Your bed shifted you into a seated position. She held a white cup with a straw to your lips. You drank greedily, the cool water soothing your dry throat. 

“How long...?” You croaked. 

“Only twenty-four hours. You lost a decent amount of blood but we got you back soon enough.”

Then why did it feel like you were laying on fire?

“Your back was practically shredded from the rocks.” Had you said that out loud? “You needed a few stitches but you’ll be fine. The boys should be back in a few minutes with snacks, if you’re hungry.”

You nodded. Or tried to; your neck was stiff. Natasha went back to her tablet, so you closed your eyes for a few more minutes before Steve and Sam’s voices echoed through the otherwise quiet space.

“Look who’s up. Miss Rough and Tumble.” Sam’s toothy grin lit up the room.

“How are you feeling, Blue?” Steve’s ocean eyes were filled with concern. He looked perfectly okay. As if he hadn’t almost drowned in an evil river. Stupid super soldier serum.

“Just peachy, Cap.”

“I thought we had a deal.”

“Sorry… Steve.” You smirked. Your stomach grumbled. Loudly. He chuckled and plopped the white paper bag he held on your lap. You opened it, smiling to yourself when you found a couple buttery croissants and one of those twisted glazed doughnuts. Natasha was giving away all of your secrets it seems. You chose a croissant, biting into the warm, flaky pastry. It was glorious.

“I see you still can't go very long without getting yourself into some kind of trouble," a familiar voice said. 

"Sorry, sir,  I—" Steve started before you cut him off.

"To be fair, I was doing fine on my own until these hooligans showed up." You muttered, mouth full, lazily gesturing to Steve, Natasha, and Sam, who stared at you indignantly.

"Don't be like that, Baby Blue!"

Fury looked unimpressed. "Excuses are—"

“...just lies we tell ourselves to justify doing something poorly." You finished his phrase, then swallowed. "It's nice to see you too, Nick."

"Nick?" Sam gasped.

"What, did you think his name was just Fury?"

"He doesn't exactly like when anyone calls him that," Sam grumbled.

"Aww, Nick! I knew you were going soft on me." 

Fury grunted, but eventually relented and came over to pat your shoulder until you flinched at his touch.

"Heal up, Agent. We’ll talk about the incident when you’re standing on your own two feet again," he said as he walked to the door.

"Not an agent," you called after him.

"We'll see about that." He threw out.

You pouted. You knew it was unbecoming of you, but this is what you'd been dreading. You didn't want to come back to S.H.I.E.L.D. That time of your life turned out to be so traumatic you ended up in a cabin by yourself for two years. But the reality is, you knew he'd get his way in the end. He always did.

__________

As far as doctors went, Dr. Alexandra Marks was patient and kind, and clearly had years of experience dealing with agents that tended to make reappearances in her infirmary. She was thorough with her diagnostics and made sure to emphasize what you could, but more importantly could not, do while you were in the recovery phase. Stitches, a heavy dose of fluids, and an advanced topical solution to help “speed up cell production”, and you were patched together the best you could be. Supposedly, they had a machine that was designed to generate skin, called the Cradle. It could have prevented the scarring, but it was out of commission due to an update or something. To be honest, it sounded too much like a cross between a crazy science experiment and a magic trick. Just the thought made you wary.  

“While you’re still lucid, I need you to give me a report of what happened,” Natasha said after Dr. Marks and the boys left. She attached a keyboard to her tablet, pulling the kickstand out so the whole thing could rest on the bed tray. “It’s just better to do this while it’s still fresh in your mind.”

“Yeah, I know.” You frowned at the screen. Blips of the incident flashed through your mind. “Honestly, I’m not too sure what I actually remember. It feels like it’s all a blur.”

“Any little detail helps,” she pushed. “Anything at all.” 

Weren’t those guys just Hydra goons though? But if that were the case, then why did it feel like there’s something more to this?

“What aren’t you telling me?” 

Her face went through a series of micro-expressions that you would have missed had you not known to look for them.

“Is it not Hydra that came after us?”

“We don’t know. But… it doesn’t look like it at this point.” She sighed. “Just write the report for now.”

“Okay.”

So you did. Any little thing you could remember from the men to the river, you included in your retelling. For the most part, you didn’t remember the men standing out in any way more than they seemed out of place in the general store. The majority of the normal clientele wore flannels, sweatshirts, or thick hunting jackets. The sleek black jackets and black caps they’d been wearing made them stand out. That being said, everything was nondescript, no labels, no logos. Pretty generic bad guys if you were being honest. The only thing you could think of was the small tattoo on the side of one of their necks, but you hadn’t been close enough to see the actual design. 

Maybe that was just you being paranoid and projecting. The tattoo was probably just a tattoo. 

A couple hours later, Dr. Marks released you, with a promise that you wouldn’t do “anything unnecessary like your troublemaker friends.” You snickered at that.  

Natasha gave you a tour of what you now learned was the Avengers Compound in upstate New York. Apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D. has been running part of the agency out of the side buildings that were part of the campus since they re-established, while there was still a segment in D.C. She pointed out the different buildings and rooms during the brief tour, but you were distracted, rightfully so, by the sheer amount of agents that gave you judgemental stares the entire way to the main Avengers building. You steeled your nerves; you wouldn’t give them anything more before you could physically defend yourself.

You stepped into an elevator after Natasha, the smooth doors sliding silently shut behind you. You allowed your shoulders a break from the stiff, upright posture you’d taken.

“You alright?” Natasha asked.

“Yup.”

“Ignore them. The most fun the majority of them have is over rumors and gossip.” Natasha said. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., third floor please.”

“Of course, Agent Romanoff,” a voice responded from above.

“A.I.?” you questioned. Natasha nodded. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. is one of Tony’s creations. She’ll help you with anything you need.”

“Huh, well thanks in advance then, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“It’s my pleasure… I cannot find your identification in any system, miss. What shall I call you?”

“Oh, you can call me Blue?”

“Very well. Enjoy your stay, Blue.”

The doors opened, revealing a hallway that lead to the left and right of the elevator and seemingly wrapped around the perimeter of the building. In the center, you were able to look down over a common area of sorts, with a variety of couches, tables, an oversized TV, and a kitchen off to the side. Natasha turned to the right, passing several doors before she stopped.

“This is your room.”

The door in front of you was a glossy white with a biometric scanner to the side. 

“Put your hand to the scanner,” she said. You did. A blue light shone through your hand, then with a soft click, the door slid open. The room was bigger than you thought it’d be, but knowing who owned the building, you didn’t expect anything less. There was a plush bed on one side of the room, a desk with a swivel chair on the opposite wall. Tall windows allowed natural light in the space. A fluffy rug and long drapes helped make the room less cold and clinical. But that wasn’t what drew your attention the most. 

Draped across the bed was the plush purple blanket Clint had bought you when you were first brought back to headquarters. It was so, so soft. On top of that was your green duffle bag. It was the one thing you took with you everywhere. It stayed stocked and ready for if you needed to leave at short notice.

“Thank you, Natasha.” 

“Of course,” she nodded.

"No chance of me going back to the cabin, huh?" You asked. Because as lonely as it had been there, it was yours, for the most part, and had become your safe place.

She shook her head. "Sorry, Blue. It wasn't discovered yet, but now they've seen your face, they know you're in the area. We can't take that chance."

You knew that, of course. She only confirmed it.

“There’s an ensuite bathroom behind that door, and a walk-in closet next to it,” Natasha pointed out. “It’s not the cabin, but it’s a good place to stay. You’ll like it here,” You nodded. 

She pulled you into her arms, her hands holding you like she didn't want to let go. 

"You scared me, zvezdochka," she whispered into your hair. 

"I know. I’m sorry.” It was rare for her to show so much emotion. As long as you’d known her, Natasha had always kept her feelings hidden.

A cough at the door disrupted the mood. 

“What does a guy have to do to get the famous Widow to hold him like that?” The man leaned against the door frame, dressed in jeans and a vintage band t-shirt. It seemed far too casual for such a well-known billionaire.

Beside you, Natasha pulled away and rolled her eyes. Like a switch, her blasé facade was back in full force.

“Tony, this is Blue. Blue, Tony Stark,” she introduced.

“What kind of name is Blue?” 

“It’s a nickname,” you said.

“Uh huh.” He squinted at you. “And your real name would be?”

“Leave it alone, Stark,” Natasha growled.

“I just find it strange that not only is there no record of her in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s database, but I can’t find her anywhere. Not a name, a city, a school, medical record. Nothing.”

Natasha bristled. Her eyes were narrowed slits. “I said leave it alone, Stark. She’s a personal friend of mine and Barton’s. Leave it alone.”

Tony glared at Natasha for a moment before yielding. 

“Fine, but we’re talking about this later.” To you, he said, “Welcome to the compound, kid.”

He took his leave, and Natasha shook her head. 

“He doesn’t like when he doesn’t know everything about something or someone. Unfortunately, he will get his way eventually. He’s pushy, but it comes from a good place.”

“Don’t worry about me, Tasha. I can handle him. Besides, I am living under his roof for now, he has a right to know what he wants to know.” 

“Only if you want to.” She puts a hand to your shoulder, before she walks to the door. But his inquiry did make you wonder…

“Why isn’t there a SHIELD file for me, or at least Agent M?”

“It may have gotten...lost when I released the files to the public.” 

“You deleted mine instead of yours?” You remember she had a list of aliases, most from before she joined “the good guys.”

She shrugged. “It was time for a new chapter anyway.” She waved it off as if it meant nothing, but she risked her own neck so you could remain nameless.

“Thank you, sestrenka.” She was always looking out for you.

“Dinner is at six. You’ll meet most of the rest of the team then. Take a nap, you look like you need it.” She winked.

“Tell me the truth, how bad does it look?” You tilted your head, indicating your back.

“Eh, it’s just a few stitches.” With that, she left, copper curls bouncing behind her. And really you had no choice but to take a nap like she said. Especially when the bed looked that comfortable. __________

Natasha lied. That was your only thought as you looked at your body in the mirror of your bathroom. It was not just a few stitches. Forty-seven in total. You cringed as you read off the report FRIDAY supplied. Hearing it from Dr. Marks, and reading it off the report, hadn’t quite prepared you visually for the reality of your injuries. From what you could tell, your back was covered in black zig-zags, reminiscent of Frankenstein's monster. At least as much as you could see that peeked out from underneath the white bandages and gauze. Plum-colored splotches covered your body. In addition to your back, your right hand also received six stitches, and your sprained ankle was now wrapped. And there were bags under your eyes. You looked awful and felt like a walking bruise. 

“The meeting will be starting in fifteen minutes, Blue,” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice startled you.

“Thanks.” You’d have to get used to never quite being alone alone. 

Dinner passed by pretty well the night before, by your standards at least. Tony had apologized for his aggressive questioning, with a nudge from Pepper Potts, however wary of you he may still be. That was alright for now. Steve and Sam had taken the initiative to make you feel included in the conversations, though you were more content to observe the people around you. You were introduced to Col. James Rhodes, who had a dry sense of humor and held himself like a military man, and Dr. Bruce Banner, whose alter ego was a stark contrast to the mild-tempered man that had sat beside you. By far, the most fascinating member you’d met was Vision, an android with an English accent who reminded you vaguely of a curious child. 

Now you were heading to a meeting Fury requested you attend. A loose-fitted tee and a pair of sweatpants and you were on your way out the door, wishing you’d had the forethought to have packed makeup in your duffle bag. While you never needed it on the mountain, it would have helped make you look marginally more presentable and less dead. Especially on the walk through the interconnected buildings to the conference room where you stuck out like a sore thumb. Maybe Natasha could take you out to pick some things up soon.

You cracked the door open. Eight and a half pairs of eyes followed you to the empty seat next to Sam. You were the last one there. Of course. Fury stood at the head of the table, Maria Hill next to him, arms behind her back. She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at you. Steve, Natasha, Tony, and three agents in uniform filled out the rest of the table. A projection screen behind Fury exhibited pictures of several men you didn’t recognize. 

“Now that we’re all here, let’s begin,” Fury said. He pointed between two of the five pictures on the screen. “These two men matched the facial recognition we were able to get off the cameras at the general store where the Captain and Agent M were first shot at, amongst civilians. There were no casualties in the store.”

You squinted. The men looked familiar now, especially without the hats to obstruct their faces. In the right image was the man you’d known to have the tattoo. Now that you could see it, on the left side of his neck, the small symbol looked like three triangles overlapping.

“They were found dead in their vehicle on the side of the road, SUV wrapped around a tree. This is confirmed with the reports Captain Rogers and Agent M gave upon arrival.” He pointed to the next two images. “These two were killed on sight by the extraction team in search of the Captain and Agent M.” He pointed to the last of the five head shots. “This last man was interrogated briefly by Agent Romanoff before he was terminated.”

“So were they Hydra agents from the mountain base?” Steve asked, confusion clear on his face.

“Not exactly,” Fury said.

“He wasn’t Hydra,” Natasha said. “He said Hydra was a group run by hot-headed leaders with imperfect ideals. He said what they were was bigger and better than Hydra could ever hope to be.”

“And who are ‘they’?” Steve pressed.

Natasha shrugged. “He didn’t say, just that there were more of them and now that they had a ‘confirmation,’” she made quotes with her fingers, “they’d have all they needed soon enough to execute the program. He didn’t elaborate on what the program was or what exactly they’d confirmed. But before I could really press him for more, he killed himself. Cyanide tooth capsule.”

“Long story short, we’re led to believe these were not Hydra agents that tracked the two of you down. There were no markings on the body that would express allegiance to the group, nor did any declare their motto.”

“So what are you saying?” Sam questioned.

“I’m saying there is another organization who has at least one of the two of you as their target of interest and until we know who they are, you need to watch your backs.”

“No offense, sir,” one of the agents began. “But what would terrorist organization want with her?” She was pretty, blonde, and had an intense look about her. She wasn’t outright rude, she had a point at least; you’ve basically been in isolation for two years. Besides, she had to be more than capable to be in this room to begin with; that didn’t mean her comment didn’t irk you. You pushed down the urge to get defensive, and schooled your face into a neutral mask.

Simultaneously, all eyes were on you.

“At the moment we’re not quite sure,” Fury admitted. “Agent M’s official history within S.H.I.E.L.D. is otherwise non-existent as far as the database is concerned. However, that doesn’t mean no one would recognize her if they worked under S.H.I.E.L.D. before the disbanding.”

“You think this group is a bunch of ex-S.H.I.E.L.D., ex-Hydra rogue agents?” Steve interjected.

“Anything is possible,” Fury said. “For now, it’s best to assume Rogers was the target and Agent M was just an additional person of interest by proxy.”  

“Keep your eyes and ears open for anything that could be related to this organization.” Maria advised. “If there really is another large-scale terrorist group among us, it’d be best to nip it in the bud as soon as possible.”

After the briefing, Fury held you back, as most of the others left the room. Maria relaxed by his side, her shoulders not quite as taut.

“You’re reinstated as an active agent, effective immediately, Agent M.” Fury held your gaze with his good eye. 

“I never said I wanted to come back to S.H.I.E.L.D.. In fact, I distinctly remember telling you I never wanted to be put in that situation again.” You glared back. The fingers on your left hand dug into your palm.

“We all have to do things we don’t want to do.” His large hand cupped your shoulder. “Just because you run away from something, doesn’t mean it goes away. You are good at what you do, and I refuse to let you waste your skills anymore.”

“But I—” He cut you off. 

“You’re not the only one who’s lost someone, Blue.”

He rarely called you by your nickname. It was always ‘Agent.’ You sighed. As difficult as Fury has always been, he’d never given you bad advice. He was the one who fought for you to stay and train to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in the first place all those years ago. 

And yeah, maybe he was a tad softer on you than on the others. You’d seen him as a father figure of sorts. If he thought you should be reinstated and otherwise get your head out of your ass, then you really couldn’t argue.

“Fine.”

“I knew you’d see it my way.” Fury smirked, patting your shoulder twice heading towards the door. “As soon as you’re cleared for it, you’ll start training. Rest up. This little incident tells me you’ve lost your touch.”

__________

You sat on a couch in the common room a week later, skimming through the data, searching for anything you could connect to an unknown terrorist group. Without a name, it was hard to even associate what little frays you did find, and you were led to dead end after dead end. You set the laptop on the seat beside you and pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes. You looked to your Stark-issued phone for the time. It was well past midnight. This wasn’t the first time you’d been unable to sleep this week due to your mind racing about the implications of an unknown group trying to bring devastation for whatever reason they’ve deemed justifiable. The bad feeling in your gut only intensified the more frustrated you got at the lack of information. You really wanted to punch something, but you weren’t cleared to do more than brisk walking, lest you pull a stitch and elongate your recovery period.

You went to the kitchen and poured yourself some water. The cool liquid did nothing to soothe your restlessness. So instead, you paced the halls, a habit you picked up since you arrived. You passed the entryway to the lab. More specifically, Tony and Bruce’s lab. The other common occurrence you’d noticed every night were the lights in the lab always being on this late in the night. It seemed like Bruce usually went to bed early in the evening, preferring to start his day earlier than most. Which left Tony as the only possible night owl. 

You hesitated by the door before pulling it open and wandering through the cool-toned lights in the lab. Classic rock played softly through the speakers. Tony stood at table at the far end of the room, back hunched over. He was poking at something that caused small sparks to shoot from the device. His masked face was probably still too close to the object. 

You pulled out a stool from a neighboring table smoothly, just enough to make some noise, not enough to startle him. The masked tilted up, then focused once again on the task at hand.

“Not asleep, Agent M?” He said with an ever-so-slight sneer.

“You can call me Blue, you know.” Tony hadn’t warmed up to you like you’d hoped in the past week. He’d been distant, always in the lab. Natasha assured you that was normal for him though, so you took her word for it. 

“Do I know that?” He snipped. He worked in silence for a few moments, then he put down his tools and flipped up his mask. His eyes were rimmed in red, most likely from exhaustion. “You know, I just find it odd that everything was all fine and dandy until Rogers and Co took a trip to Washington State. Now there’s a new terrorist organization we have to look out for, and you show up with no official identity in any database on the planet, and one word from Fury and we’re supposed to just be okay with that? I’m not exactly a big believer of coincidences.”

“Just ask what you want to know, Stark. I don’t want to always feel like I’m tip-toeing around you.” Because it was annoying. 

“What’s your history with S.H.I.E.L.D.?” 

“Natasha and Clint were on a mission, found me as a teen in an abandoned warehouse. Brought me back to S.H.I.E.L.D.. I was an agent for three years.”

“What made you leave?” His gaze shifted elsewhere.

“Bad mission. I lost people I cared about.” His eyes found yours. “And with Hydra discovered inside the agency and S.H.I.E.L.D. dissolving, I just got out while I could.”

He was quiet for a long time. Absently, you twirled a random screw between your fingers.

“Tell me about the mission.”

You squeezed your eyes closed, sighing deeply. You recalled your worst nightmare like it was yesterday. You opened your mouth to begin when he put a hand up.

“Sorry. You don’t need to tell me.” He waved you away. “I can be insensitive when I’m tired.”

“It’s alright, I understand. Long story short, it went really, really wrong, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was young-”

“You’re still young, kid,” he quipped.

“-and I already couldn’t remember my past. Losing people, people I was especially close to, was too much.” Your breath shuddered. “I didn’t want to have to go through that again, so I left. Fury kept tabs on me, same with Natasha and Clint. But I swore I wasn’t going to be an agent anymore.”

“And now, here you are.”

“Here I am.”

Tony nodded. He got up unexpectedly, shuffling over to a hidden cupboard that housed a coffee maker. He came back with two mugs, steam spirals swirled in the air. You took a sip. Minty.

“It’s a peppermint blend. Some candy cane Christmas bullshit I got in a ‘thank you’ basket over the holiday. It’s barely coffee, not even caffeinated, but it tastes nice. Supposed to help clear the mind or something.”

You shrugged. Because it was good.

“So… you don’t remember your past?”

“I don’t even remember my name.”

“That must be tough.”

“Mhm,” you agreed.

“Listen, I’m sorry for the rough start. Genuinely. I spend so much of my time trying to do the best to defend against the bad, that I sometimes jump to conclusions and can be…”

“Overly suspicious?” You supplied.

“Yeah.”

“No worries, Stark…”

“Tony.”

“Tony,” you smiled. “I would have thought the same thing. I mean hell, I almost embedded a knife in Captain America’s head when I first met him.”

“I want to do that sometimes and I’ve known him for years.” He chuckled into his mug.

“So we’re good?” You didn’t want to just assume. A heart to heart doesn’t always form a friendship, but at least maybe you’d be on good terms now.

“We’re good, kid.” He smiled, a genuine grin on his lips. “Come on, you can help me test this new version of my gauntlets.”

Huh. Maybe you were wrong. __________

Another week passed before you were cleared for active duty. The scarring was… definitely there. Harsh, red lines spider-webbed around your back. Apparently, it healed faster than Dr. Marks anticipated, especially without the cradle. She seemed convinced the shorter recovery time meant there was a high chance the scarring would fade quickly as well. You weren’t exactly a vain person, but it didn’t look pretty as of now. At least you could cover it up easily. 

You were placed into a random group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, Group C apparently, and were given a schedule that listed off times for hand-to-hand combat training, weight training, endurance training, and shooting practice. You were convinced Steve loved to see you and the other recruits suffer as he pushed you all to run the laps of the course around the compound. The first day, you were dead after three miles, collapsing on the ground when the muscles in your legs gave up and lying on gravel sounded like a better idea. Steve only ordered you to get up and run again. You might have grumbled something about seeing if you’d ever save his life again.

Now you were able to keep up with the group. You found it a necessity, as you’d overheard in the locker room how they didn’t like you because you were “definitely sleeping with the Captain” or why else would you be there. You’d caught a stink eye more than once, and decided you had to push harder and tune them out. The chatter was useless. You knew the truth, so their opinions didn’t matter, but you didn’t want Steve to be accused of favoritism. He didn’t deserve any unnecessary backlash. 

By far, Natasha was thrilled to have you in training again. 

“You’re having too much fun with this Natasha,” you groaned from the mat. 

You were constantly being thrown by her, taunted that you’d lost your reflexes from being out of practice. You always ended up sore and bruised after a session. The snickers of the other agents really pissed you off, but you couldn’t exactly bite their heads off. Plus, even when you were in your best shape, you weren’t always able to out-Natasha Natasha; you’d only done it a few times. You knew first hand the rest of the agents in the room couldn’t do that. And you’d out-fought enough of them to know that.

“You’re making it easy on me,” she pulled you to your feet. “Maybe you should practice with someone with a little less agility for now?” She tilted her head to Sam, who’d over heard as he sauntered in and pulled a bitch face at her.

“Oh that’s low, girl. Real low.” But he joined you on the mat anyway.

Sam’s strikes were powerful and quick, like a boxer. He shuffled his feet, throwing punches at varying intervals. You dodged and blocked what you could. He got in a few hits before you picked up his pattern. That was the problem with most people in hand-to-hand. The body naturally wants to move in a rhythm, just like in running, but it’s too predictable in fighting, which is one of the reasons it was so hard to fight Natasha. She was slippery as a snake and it was hard to anticipate her next moves at the speed she moved.

You swung your arm out, your fist clipping him in his unprotected ribs, jumping out of range after. He stumbled back. You took the opportunity to rush him, diving low last minute to the space beneath his legs. You half-turned in your crouch and kicked your leg out, knocking him off balance and crashing into the mat. Finally.

“Adequate,” Natasha complimented. “But I’ve seen you do better. That was sloppy.”

You nodded, panting. She was right, but you’d take then win. It would take you a while to get back to what your skills had been, but even you had to admit. The ache of your abused muscles was actually rather nostalgic. __________

It was well after dinner when a knock at your door had you sitting up, causing the ice packs to tumble off your body. You sighed.

“Come in!”

Natasha stepped in, eyeing the ice packs. 

“Have we been too rough on you?” She teased. You didn’t take the bait.

“Nah. Just not used to it yet.”

Natasha nodded. “Just wanted to let you know Clint and the others are almost here. The quinjet should be landing in five, if you want to join us.”

“Of course.” You stumbled off the bed, and slipped your shoes on as you followed her to the hangar.

The hangar was cleaner than you would have thought. Relatively spotless and spacious. You and Natasha joined Steve, Sam, and Vision by the marker number 1 just as the rumble of an engine made the quinjet known. The noise echoed loudly in the space as the jet landed smoothly in its spot. The engines cut off, and with the high-pitched whir of the propellers winding down. The door opened down into a ramp. At first, no one came down, then there was a stumbling, mummy racing down the ramp toward you. Clint scooped you up into his arms, twirling you around, rambling a mile a minute.

“I thought Tasha was messing with me when she said you were here!” He was shouting in your ear, but you couldn’t get a word in edgewise. “When did you get here? How long are you staying? Wait! Are you back for real?”

“Barton, I’m pretty sure she can’t breathe.” Natasha’s voice cut through his excitement.

“Oh, right.” He plopped you down. You staggered before you caught yourself.

“It’s good to see you too, Robin Hood.” 

His eyes flitted over you, not overlooking the bruises from training this week.

“Geeze, you look awful. What happened?” 

“What is with the two of you?” You looked between him and Natasha. “You can’t just tell people they look awful when they’ve been beaten up. Besides, you’re one to talk,” you sassed. Clint was covered in butterfly bandages and deep purple bruises. “Can’t you go on one mission without coming back like you belong under a pyramid?”

“‘S not my fault.” Clint scratched the back of his neck. You stared at him pointedly. “Well, not all my fault.”

“Some things never change.” You grinned.

“Blue, this is Wanda Maximoff.” Natasha held her hand out to a girl around your age, with long auburn hair and sparkling green eyes. She looked at you hesitantly.

“Hi, I’m Blue.” You did a little wave, then immediately regretted it for how dumb you probably looked. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” She enveloped you in strong arms. She had an accent you couldn’t place, but it wasn’t so thick you couldn’t understand her. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you from Natasha and Clint. It’s nice to match the face with the name.”

You smiled, because she seemed very sweet. You could already see yourself being friends with her. You noticed Vision hovering just behind her, and when she pulled away, her hand reached back to find his. That was cute. You also now had questions, but that was for another time. You certainly weren’t close enough to just ask anyway.

Behind you, Steve was embracing a man with shoulder-length brown hair. He looked just as built and strong as Steve, maybe an inch shorter in height. Steve’s eyes were closed, his lips were moving, speaking too low for you to hear. The intimacy of their moment had you assuming they were more than friends. Definitely together. You wondered if the public had that knowledge, but it was more than likely not. The media would probably have a field day with that info.

Steve opened his eyes, meeting yours with a smile before he stepped back and called out to you.

“Hey Blue! Come over here and meet Bucky!”

His companion turned around and the breath caught in your throat. You did a double take. After all these years, you never thought you’d see him again. Maybe you’d dreamed you’d find your long lost friend, hoping that you both hadn’t changed too much to pass each other on the street someday without realizing. But you would recognize those eyes anywhere. 

Before you could open your mouth, he spoke. 

“Ingeras?” _________

A/N: Just now realized I haven’t given any translations for words so far, but I will from now on!

zvezdochka (Russian) - little star sestrenka (Russian) - sister, sis ingeras (Romanian) - angel

_________

In Viata Asta Taglist:  @rvgrsbrns​ @artsyspacebee​ @thelovelydreamer17​

[happymetalgirl]

Батюшка - Панихида

After hearing the message that the band’s once anonymous founder, Krzysztof Drabikowski, posted in desperation on YouTube, I did not think I would be getting a new Батюшка album so soon, at least, not from him. The past few months have certainly been eventful and have kept fans of the band’s magnificent breakout debut album, Литоургия, with their eyes fixed on the current tumult unfolding with the band this year, and it’s what made me so surprised to hear Drabikowski coming out with a new album as soon as he did.

A few months ago, Drabikowski posted a message on YouTube, that was picked up by fans and spread far and wide very well, saying that his former collaborator  Bartłomiej Krysiuk had hijacked the band and taken control of almost all of  Батюшка social media. Drabikowski said that Krysiuk had been pressuring him to make faster progress with a follow-up to Литоургия, eventually became impatient, and resorted to going behind his back to recruit stand-ins to form his own version of the band, essentially splitting the band into two factions (at least for now with a legal dispute about the rights to use the band’s name ongoing). This is why I was so surprised to see that Drabikowski had beaten Krysiuk to the first full-length of 2019 despite the split being driven apparently by Kysiuk’s impatience for this exact album.

Even before the release of this album (ever since Drabikowski’s message really), much of the band’s fan base had been embroiled in the conflict between the two sides, and with both versions of Батюшка releasing singles over the past few weeks, Drabikowski independently and Krysiuk through Metal Blade Records, the verdict in the metal community at least has been decided.

I myself decided to perform the same side-by-side test a few weeks ago that many Батюшка fans did with the songs "Chapter I: The Emptiness - Polunosznica (Полунощница)" from Bartłomiej Krysiuk’s version of Батюшка, and “Песнь 1” from Krzystof Drabikowski’s version of Батюшка. "Chapter I: The Emptiness - Polunosznica (Полунощница)" is certainly not a terrible song from an entirely aesthetic standpoint, and its chorally-supported progression made for an at least meditative atmosphere, but it seemed to be a very timid and dragging composition, one that sounded more like someone more familiar with blackgaze recently becoming influenced by Батюшка than Батюшка itself. This was largley the response I saw echoed most by fans of Батюшка, and it certainly hasn’t helped Krysiuk’s case that Metal Blade disabled comments on the video for the single’s release. But even more damning was how much “Песнь 1” blew it out of the water.

“Песнь 1” very quickly confirmed for most of the Батюшка fan base Drabikowski’s legitimacy as the original creative sovereignty of the band, and after hearing the track, I couldn’t help but agree. The intermingling of liturgical choral vocals and faster atmospheric black metal was, as many put it, a display of the true heart of Батюшка. The song is clearly far more confidently put together and not only closer in resemblance to Литоургия, but also something that feels like a more natural continuation of it. It’s a great song that makes far more comfortable use of the signature elements of the  sound than what Krysiuk had offered up on his version’s first single, and its familiar enrapturing by way of the low-register choir vocals over both galloping and spiritually atmospheric forms of black metal makes for a great start to an album that, whose swiftness I can take with a grain of salt, makes for a respectable, though not rivaling follow-up to Литоургия.

I say that because Панихида feels at least partially constructed from leftovers from Литоургия. Like I said, “Песнь 1” ushered in and begins the album on an exciting note of that crucial spiritual vibrancy that has made Батюшка what it’s known for. But the rest of the album proceeds with a tangible sense of being less fully matured than what its creator probably had in mind and it ultimately comes across in the form of a more homogeneous album than the debut it’s trying to live up to. Again, the whole contextual dilemma in which the album was released almost certainly has had an impact on its creation and is an unfortunate grain of salt that has to be taken with listens to it.

The song “Песнь 2” is the longest on the album, but despite its interesting progression through its several sections, it stands out in the track list more for its featuring of this oddly light-spirited, classic metal guitar chord motif that seems just a little out of place on a Батюшка song, the rest of which is more in line with the kind of soulful meditation that the band is known for.

I may have been a bit extreme earlier in calling this album homogeneous as the next song, “Песнь 3”, seems to take on a lot of the same atmosphere that much of American blackgaze does after its slow, clean guitar intro, while the very next song, “Песнь 4”, makes excellent use of some slow eight-string guitar riffing as its more menacing vocals and double-bass fury take the album back to a more sinister and cultish vibe.

The echoed baritone/bass vocals that show up on the liturgical “Песнь 5” are some of my favorite on the entire album. The song rings very true to the sound of the debut and is possibly one of the most suspicious tracks as far as this album being made of leftovers is concerned, but for a potential leftover from a great album, the song feels pretty well fleshed out and perhaps its suspected age and time to mature is part of why it stands out at one of the more well-groomed tracks on the album. And while I like the odd intro of the subsequent “Песнь 6”, it does feel to be one of the more dragged out tracks on the album, with the composition kind of walking in circles to bide time until the album’s shortest song, “Песнь 7”, enters. “Песнь 7” feels like another leftover from Литоургия with its liturgical vocals flowing smoothly over fast double-bass/blast-beat drumming, deep, bass-y guitar grooves, and bright guitar atmosphere.

“Песнь 8” ends the album on a somber, yet seemingly triumphant note, wrapping together all of what Батюшка combines so well. It feels much like a continuation of the tracks before it that echoed Литоургия so clearly in a way that concludes the album as a largely identical offspring of Литоургия, and perhaps that was kind of the point for Панихида. Being that Drabikowski was up against a former collaborator who had (in his words) seized much of the band’s legal collateral alongside a relatively big record label, he really didn’t have much going for him going into this legal dispute other than his creativity and his ability to channel the heart of Батюшка. Like I said, this album needs to be taken with a grain of salt, and I imagine that its close resemblance to Литоургия was an intentional display of Drabikowski’s artistic sovereignty and his being the driving creative force that produced Литоургия.

While writing this, I learned that Polish courts ruled in favor of Bartłomiej Krysiuk’s version of Батюшка bearing the rights to use the Батюшка name just a few days ago, which may explain why Drabikowski released Панихида so quickly. I’m honestly not surprised that the court ruled in favor of Krysiuk and Metal Blade Record, it seems like because he and they had access to all the band’s legal and organisational resources, Drabikowski unfortunately left himself vulnerable to this kind of mutiny, and perhaps midway through the proceedings he realized this and decided to make his one last stand for Батюшка in the musical sparring arena. While Krysiuk has the legal upper hand and the advantage of not having to rush his release quite as much as Drabikowski did, his first single doesn’t really suggest that those advantages are even going to matter. The gulf in class between the two sides’ material so far really is what it comes down to at the end of the day, and even if Krysiuk has convinced the courts that Батюшка is his project, he will have a hard time winning over the fans (who have mostly decided their allegiance to Drabikowski) without a serious step up to contend with Drabikowski’s work, which seems unlikely with what we have to gauge this debacle by currently. For now, court ruling aside, Drabikowski’s Панихида stands as a far more worthy follow-up to Литоургия, than what Krysiuk’s version’s new album seems like it will be. As seemingly rushed due to what appears to be unjust or at least unfortunate circumstances, Панихида is an album that bleeds from the heart of what made Литоургия and of what made Батюшка.

Батюшка/10

[blackkudos]

Richie Havens

Richard Pierce Havens (January 21, 1941 – April 22, 2013) was an American singer-songwriter and guitarist. His music encompassed elements of folk, soul, and rhythm and blues. He had an intense and rhythmic guitar style (often in open tunings), and played soulful covers of pop and folk songs. He was the opening act at Woodstock.

Life and career

Early life

Born in Bedford–Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, Havens was the oldest of nine children. He was of Native American (Blackfoot) descent on his father's side and of the British West Indies on his mother's. His grandfather was Blackfoot of the Montana/South Dakota area. Havens's grandfather and great-uncle joined Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, got off in New York City, and ended up on the Shinnecock Reservation in Long Island. Havens's grandfather got married, then moved to Brooklyn.

As a youth in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Havens began organizing his neighborhood friends into street corner doo-wop groups and, at age 16, was performing with the McCrea Gospel Singers.

Early career

At age 20, Havens left Brooklyn, seeking artistic stimulation in Greenwich Village. "I saw the Village as a place to escape to, in order to express yourself," he recalled. "I had first gone there during the beatnik days of the 1950s to perform poetry, then I drew portraits for two years and stayed up all night listening to folk music in the clubs. It took a while before I thought of picking up a guitar."

Havens's solo performances quickly spread beyond the Village folk circles. After cutting two records for Douglas Records, he signed on with Bob Dylan's manager, Albert Grossman, and landed a record deal with the Verve Folkways (later Verve Forecast) label. Verve released Mixed Bag in late 1966, which featured tracks such as "Handsome Johnny" (co-written by Havens and actor Louis Gossett Jr.), "Follow", and a cover of Bob Dylan's "Just Like a Woman". Havens released his first single, "No Opportunity Necessary", in 1967.

By 1969, he had released five more albums. Something Else Again (1968) became his first album to hit the Billboardcharts, and it pulled Mixed Bag back onto the charts. Two of those albums were unauthorized "exploitation albums" released by Douglas Records (or Douglas International):  Electric Havens (released June 1, 1968) and Richie Havens Record (1969).

Woodstock and rise in fame

Havens's live performances earned widespread notice. His Woodstock appearance in 1969 catapulted him into stardom and was a major turning point in his career. Despite Havens's own recollection that he performed for nearly three hours, the actual recording and setlist reflect that he played about fifty minutes. Havens recalled that he was told to continue playing because many artists scheduled to perform after him were delayed in reaching the festival location with highways at a virtual standstill. Havens recalled being called back for several encores. Having run out of tunes, he improvised a song based on the old spiritual "Motherless Child" that became "Freedom". In an interview with Cliff Smith, for Music-Room, he explained:

I'd already played every song I knew and I was stalling, asking for more guitar and mic, trying to think of something else to play – and then it just came to me ... The establishment was foolish enough to give us all this freedom and we used it in every way we could.

The subsequent Woodstock movie release helped Havens reach a worldwide audience. He also appeared two weeks later at the Isle of Wight Festival (in late August 1969).

Following the success of his Woodstock performance, Havens started his own record label, Stormy Forest, and released Stonehenge in 1970. Later that year came Alarm Clock, which included the George Harrison–penned hit single, "Here Comes the Sun". This was Havens's first album to reach Billboard's Top 30 Chart. Stormy Forest went on to release four more of his albums: The Great Blind Degree (1971), Live On Stage (1972), Portfolio (1973), and Mixed Bag II (1974). Memorable television appearances included performances on The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. On the latter program, the audience reacted with such enthusiasm that, when the applause continued even after the commercial break, Carson asked Havens to return the following night.

Havens also began acting during the 1970s. He was featured in the original 1972 stage presentation of The Who's Tommy, as Othello in the 1974 film Catch My Soul, in Greased Lightning alongside Richard Pryor, and in Bob Dylan's Hearts of Fire.

Havens increasingly devoted his energies to educating young people about ecological issues. In the mid-1970s, he co-founded the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children's museum on City Island in The Bronx. That, in turn, led to the creation of the Natural Guard, an organization Havens described as "...a way of helping kids learn that they can have a hands-on role in affecting the environment. Children study the land, water, and air in their own communities and see how they can make positive changes from something as simple as planting a garden in an abandoned lot."

In July 1978, he was a featured performer at the Benefit Concert for The Longest Walk, an American Indian spiritual walk from Alcatraz to Washington, D.C. affirming treaty rights, as a result of legislation that had been introduced to abrogate Indian treaties.

Branching out more into the media

During the 1980s and 1990s, Havens continued a world touring schedule and steadily released albums. The release of 1993's Resume, The Best of Richie Havens, on Rhino Records, collected his late 1960s and early 1970s recordings. In 1982, he composed and performed a promotional slogan for NBC's 1982–83 television season, entitled We're NBC, Just Watch Us Now. He also performed slogans for CBS and ABC, and recorded commercials for Amtrak (singing the slogan, "There's something about a train that's magic") and in 1985, for Coca-Cola. Havens also did corporate commercial work for Maxwell House Coffee, as well as sang "The Fabric of Our Lives" theme for the cotton industry. In 1982, he appeared at the UK's Glastonbury Festival, closing the show on the Sunday night.

In 1993, Havens performed at the inauguration of President Bill Clinton. Among the selections was the "Cotton" song, made famous by a series of television ads in the early 1990s. In 1999, Havens played at the Tibetan Freedom Concert for an audience of more than 100,000.

Havens also played a small role, as a character named Daze, in the film Street Hunter (1990), starring John Leguizamo.

Havens was the 20th living recipient of the Peace Abbey Courage of Conscience Award, presented in Sherborn, Massachusetts, on April 12, 1991.

Final years

In 2000, Havens teamed with the electronic music duo Groove Armada for the retro 1970s-style song, "Hands of Time". The song was featured on the soundtrack of the film Collateral; that song was also used in the films Domino, A Lot Like Love, and Tell No One. Havens was also featured on "Little By Little" and "Healing" on the band's third album, Goodbye Country.

In 2000, he published They Can't Hide Us Anymore, an autobiography co-written with Steve Davidowitz. Havens maintained his status as a folk icon and continued to tour. In 2002, he released Wishing Well, followed by the 2004 album Grace of the Sun.

In 2003, the National Music Council awarded Havens the American Eagle Award for his place as part of America's musical heritage and for providing "a rare and inspiring voice of eloquence, integrity and social responsibility."

On October 15, 2006, Havens was inducted into the Long Island Music Hall of Fame.

In 2007, Havens appeared as "Old Man Arvin" in the Todd Haynes film I'm Not There. In a classic front-porch jam scene, he is shown singing the Bob Dylan song "Tombstone Blues" with Marcus Carl Franklin and Tyrone Benskin. Havens' version of the song also appears on the I'm Not There soundtrack.

In February 2008, Havens performed at The Jazz Café in London, England. The performance and the man were described by Cliff Smith, reporting for Music-News as "Mesmerising, poetic, profound, funny...".

Havens was invited to perform at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival opening ceremony. He played "Freedom" at the request of the jury president, Sean Penn. Havens also performed at the London, Ontario, Blues Festival in July 2008.

In March 2008, Havens released a new studio album entitled, Nobody Left To Crown. The first single release was the country-tinged "The Key".

Havens appeared in the acclaimed 2009 film Soundtrack for a Revolution, which provided a general history of the modern Civil Rights Movement and featured modern artists performing many of the era's musical classics. In the film, Havens performed a haunting rendition of "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?".

On May 3, 2009, Havens performed at the fundraising concert in honor of Pete Seeger's 90th birthday. In June 2009, he performed at the fifth annual Mountain Jam Festival. The event, hosted by Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule guitarist Warren Haynes, was held at the Hunter Mountain Ski Resort in Hunter, New York. As is the tradition, the festival took place on the weekend following Memorial Day.

On June 20, 2009, Havens performed at the Clearwater Festival. On July 4, 2009, he performed at the Woodstock Tribute festival in Ramsey, New Jersey. On August 8, 2010, he performed at Musikfest 2010, at Foy Hall at Moravian College in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Health Issues

In 2010, Havens underwent kidney surgery but did not recover fully enough to perform as he had before. In March 2012, he announced on his Facebook page that he would retire from touring after 45 years, due to health issues.

Death

On April 22, 2013, Havens died of a heart attack at home in Jersey City, New Jersey, at the age of 72. The BBC referred to him as a "Woodstock icon," while Stephen Stills of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young said Havens "could never be replicated." The Daily Telegraph stated Havens "made an indelible mark on contemporary music," while Douglas Martin of The New York Times reported that Havens had "riveted Woodstock."

Pursuant to Havens's request, he was cremated, and his ashes were scattered from the air over the original site of the Woodstock Festival, in a ceremony held on August 18, 2013, the 44th anniversary of the festival's last day.

Havens was survived by his wife Nancy, three children, five grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Richie Havens among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

[scribefindegil]

Cycle Eight--Week 3

[Ao3]  [Week 1] [Week 2]

Day 15

Went into the forest again today. This time Barry and Nita both came with us, with Nita levitating over the mushrooms. Barry has been examining the forest from the village, but this is his first time out into it. It was good to have him there and to confirm my own suspicions: while many of these mushrooms superficially resemble flora from home, every biological and magical test he subjected them to confirmed that they were different from the native fungi of our own reality—and of this one.

Nita and Frelya merely shrugged when we asked them how the mushrooms had arrived on this world. It is past living memory, even for the longest-lived of the surviving races. There are only the vaguest legends. Some say it was a great spell gone wrong. Some say it was a comet of ill-omen that streaked across the sky and brought the first Keepers with it. Some say that the Keepers were already living in stone prisons deep below the Earth, and it was only a matter of time before they awoke.

"Doesn't matter," Frelya said, and grunted.

Nita shook her head and smiled at me. "Of course it does!"

She told us the names that the villagers use for the mushrooms. Most of them don't care much; all of the forest is deadly, so it doesn't matter if you call the blue parts and the red parts something different. But the herbalists care.

(The next several pages are filled with exactingly labelled pen-and-ink drawings with small color swatches next to them. Some of the drawings also have additional notes in a different, heavier hand.)

Dangerous as the forest is, the people of Fungston are forced to rely upon it for many things. Nita explained which mushrooms can be dried, cleaned of spores, and used as material for anything from the canes she uses to the walls of their houses. The universal veils can be washed and hardened and turned into the tough, thick fabric that the villagers wear. Certain species can be cut into thin strips and spun together to make a sturdy rope that is then cured on racks above the bonfires.

"You're extremely resourceful out here," Barry said admiringly.

Nita shrugged. "We do what we have to. If we weren't resourceful we'd all be dead."

It's true, although I don't think we're used to hearing it so bluntly.

Barry took samples from several of the mushrooms and was discouraged from taking them from others. There's one pale species that produces beads of ruby-red sap that burn like acid, which ate through his container almost before Nita could warn him away.

"Be careful of that one," she said, speaking to Barry but looking at me. "We call it Miser's Blood. It can burn through your mask before you realize anything's wrong."

Barry backed carefully away, apologized to the mushroom for disturbing it, blushed, and then tripped over his own feet. Fortunately he didn't land in anything dangerous, but we did take it as a sign that we had probably done enough exploring for the day.

Day 16

We have all been recruited into assisting with the movement of the bonfires. It is a gradual process: first the inner ring is put out and new fires are built around the outer periphery. The plan is to maintain those for a few days to ensure that the scorch teams can keep the forest back around a wider perimeter even without Lup's evocation magic assisting them.

It means that we have to burn some of Merle's green sward, which the villagers were upset by at first. But today Merle was up uncharacteristically early, sitting in the center of town. He said it was too early for singing, but he poured out two portions of his breakfast tea—one for himself and one on the ground for Pan.

Merle knows all the traditional services. I've seen him use them more than once, but more often when he talks to his god he goes off on rambles that sound more as if they were directed at a beloved but ornery relative.

"Now Pan, I know this is a tough situation, but can you help a brother out here? You saw how much these people loved those little plants you helped me grow, so I'm thinking maybe we can get you a congregation going here. What do you think? Got a problem being the god of a weird mushroom world? Yeah, I didn't think so."

As he talks, plants and flowers grow around his feet.

It's certainly not traditional, but I feel that the people of Fungston could do far worse when it comes to spiritual leaders.

The villagers began to emerge from their houses—some with curiosity, some with frightened squeaks. They're still (I say still and betray my own prejudices. There’s no way that a few days would make a difference after a lifetime) unused to wild plants that aren't somehow sinister, so when the shoots emerge through the ground their first instinct is to draw away. But soon they see that what Merle grows will not hurt them.

The entire circle between the first circle of bonfires is green.

It made it easier to move the first circle outward. We worked all day. Lup helped to rekindle the new bonfires, since she's agreed not to go out with the scorch teams for a few days so they can test their efficacy against these new borders. Magnus enjoyed excavating the new fire pits—it gave him an excuse to show off his strength, and of course the villagers were duly impressed. Taako decided to take advantage of the Starblaster's larder and surprised everyone after dinner with trays of tiny star-shaped cookies. There were enough that all the villagers could eat their fill. They're amazed at the concept of flour, which they’ve never seen before—who knows how long it's been since this world could grow wheat?

Day 17

We've begun to make plans for the expedition. Captain Davenport called a meeting, moderated by Merle, to discuss what we need to do to prepare. The biggest problem is how much world we have to explore. Lup and Barry have been trying to find ways to track the Light, but so far they have no definite answers. We know that if a civilization takes in the Light of Creation it tends to spur them to new heights of science and creativity, and sometimes we can use that knowledge to determine its location. But on this world, the chances of it landing somewhere where people can find it are slim. We'll be looking for a needle in a deadly, glowing haystack.

It could well take our entire time on this planet to locate the light, if we do so at all. Mico tells us that the forest outside the borders of the town is actually quite sparse compared to the deeper groves that lie to the South. The Starblaster will take us part of the way, but most of the journey will have to be done on foot.

We have left the final determination of who will be going on the mission for a later date. Magnus intends to lead it, and Davenport will go along and stay with the ship. I have volunteered to go as well. We won't be leaving for at least several more weeks. It's not long enough to gather all the stories I want to tell from this village--it never is--but I should be able to talk to more of the citizens. Those who were shy at first have begun warming up to us. Their eyes are brighter now, and I think they are smiling below their masks. Merle and Lup together have given them hope.

And this mission--it is a story, too. All stories deserve to be told but my first duty is always to the mission and the crew. I hope that, eventually, someone else will read what I have written and remember us. I hope that, eventually, this is a story of a mission that was completed. Of a world that was truly saved. But until then, all I can do is write.

Mico tells us that the "rainy season" is coming, and we would do well to delay our departure until afterwards. As it has been raining nearly non-stop since our arrival, I hesitate to think what sort of weather is approaching that would be so much worse. Mico shook their head when they spoke of it. It's a dangerous time, they said, the time of year when the village is most likely to lose people. Most likely to be lost itself.

"We won't let that happen," said Magnus, and the rest of us nodded.

Day 18

I spent today among the weavers, trying to get them to explain their processes or other stories of the town, but came away with very little. They're extremely polite and not what I would call tight-lipped, but they want to hear stories, not tell them. I suppose it's understandable; to them this way of life is everything they know, but our crew descended from the stars. They want to know about our home. It pains me to tell them. It's been seven years since we left. Seven years since we lost our home.

I don't have a journal about that world. Rather, I had many. The biographies I wrote or ghost-wrote. The piles of blue leather volumes I bound and filled with the stories of other people's lives. But those remained planetside. There was no reason to bring them--no reason to suspect that the seven of us would be the last survivors of our reality.

But I still have notes. Stories. Songs. When we have time, I still ask the others. Magnus is the most eager to talk. He's younger even than I am, and than I was. He should be twenty-eight years old by now, but every time we enter a new set of Planes he returns to the round, boyish face of a man barely out of adolescence. I wonder if the pride he takes in his sideburns is at least in part because they make him look older. It was important at the beginning because he really was so young, and it's important now because he isn't.

I brought a pile of my books out from the Starblaster. They are the right-handed copies, with writing that is slightly less smooth. The backups. If something happens to them, the first copies will still be safe on the ship. So I brought them out and read from them. Showed the villagers the sketches I'd done of our lilac sky with the two suns, of our trees and our clothes and our cities.

They muttered and nudged each other at the images of people going about their daily lives with no masks on, stared at the drawings of trees in disbelief.

"You just . . ." Jarrus asked. "You can just breathe?"

I nodded, and the look on her face broke my heart.

"Do you remember?" I asked. "Do any of you know stories about what it was like before the mushrooms came?"

They all shook their heads, and Riki, a halfling with pale eyes and a particularly long trunk-like mask, said, "I reckon there never was a before. They say there was, but some of 'em also say there'll be an after. And that's just mad. 'Slike you people coming in here, all mad with hope. It's not going to get better. Don't think it ever was."

"That's not true," Jarrus said. "My grandmother's mother was part of the first generation born in the village. And she told my grandmother, and she told me, that things used to be different. You used to be able to see the stars. You used to breathe free. But you know what? When they first came, the prophets said that the mushrooms and the Keepers would end the world, that it was the end of everything and no one would survive. But we did. We don't have much but we're still here, and I don't know about the rest of you but I'm going to hope that some day my daughter or her children or their children will be able to look back and say, 'We survived. We survived and we won and those damn Keepers still haven't beaten us.' Maybe they won't need these masks. Maybe they'll see the stars again."

Such speeches are uncharacteristic—for any of the villagers, but especially for the usually taciturn Jarrus. Riki refused to meet her eyes and went back to his weaving.

Soon afterwards, Vetch ran over to tell us it was time for dinner. Jarrus caught her up and pressed their foreheads together. It's a common greeting here among loved ones, perhaps an alternative to kissing since the lower halves of their faces are always covered by their masks.

The hymn to send off the scorch teams gets fuller every night. The entire village knows the song by heart and sings along. Tonight, Magnus and Barry attempted the baritone harmony. Their voices are enthusiastic if not always in tune, but I heard gasps from around me. Vetch watched the teams roll out from her favorite perch on Magnus’s shoulders, and when she ran back to her mother afterwards I saw that Jarrus was crying.

Day 19

(The first several pages of this entry consist of watercolor paintings of mushrooms. They are more brightly colored than the previous paintings. Notes to the side of the images read, ‘Pigment help from Barry and Lup. Red and yellow magically derived, others adapted from the distilled juice of the mushrooms’)

The new town border remains stable. The center of town remains green. To Captain Davenport’s chagrin, there are vines growing around the Starblaster, but none of them go near the engines so he can’t yet claim that they’re a safety hazard.

Spent another day in the forest with Frelya. My sketches are now nearly true to color, thanks to the scientific expertise of my crewmates.

As we were walking back, Frelya stopped shortly outside the first set of bonfires.

“I . . . haven’t asked for anything in exchange for taking you out here,” she said.

“I know,” I replied.

She turned and thrust an extra mask into my hands. One of the bulbous ones, made from the cured and waterproofed universal veils.

“Use your paints,” she said. “Make it . . . brighter.”

It make take more consultation before I can find a medium that will adhere to the mask’s material, but I know how I will be spending tomorrow.

Day 20

Have spent the day in painting and experimentation with Barry. The slick surface of the veil-cloth resists my standard preparations. If I knew less about the material I would be tempted to sand it to give quill and brush more tooth, but even though the process of curing it kills the spores I know better than to risk it.

It is refreshing to work on the ship and be able, at least for a while, to remove our own masks. It’s air-tight inside—as something designed to travel between realities should be—and we’ve established a system of knocks and small blockades to make sure no one opens the door to the outside when we aren’t expecting it.

It is strange how quickly we adapt. For our first few days in Fungston the constant presence of the mask was almost intolerable, but I find that I’ve become so used to it that going without makes me feel strange and vulnerable. Despite how little sunlight makes it through the clouds, Barry has a line running across the bridge of his nose with paler, sun-starved skin beneath it.

(The rest of the page is a careful experimental table of substrates and additives. Glued in next to it are narrow strips of thick, waxy cloth. All of them have been painted green. Most of the paint is chipped and flaking; some is translucent and uneven; some is discolored and has bit into the cloth. On the final strip, the paint is vibrant and flexes with the cloth when you move it. Around it are scribbled words in a circle: “Huzzah!” and its synonyms in Elvish, Dwarfish, and Draconic, as well as words in several other languages you don’t recognize but assume from context are further exclamations of excitement.)

Day 21

It took most of the day and most of the night before we found a medium that would work. Lup brought us coffee and laughed about how silly it is that humans need to sleep. It reminded me of our time back at the Institute. I still hope to find something readily available on this planet, but for now we rely on transmutation magic and egg-yolk tempera.

I suspect Lup of casting Sleep on the two of us shortly thereafter. She refuses to admit to it, but doesn’t deny it either. Bolstered by the excitement of our discovery, I had planned to stay awake through the remainder of the night and make some progress with the painting, but the next thing I knew Barry and I were both raising our heads from the table, having missed breakfast and made a spirited effort at missing lunch.

The twins were in the kitchen, and as soon as they saw us stirring they grinned and descended on us with two massive omelets, doubtless made from some of the unused experimental eggs.

I spent the rest of the day painting. I finished in time to meet Frelya as she returned from scorch team duty. She took the mask, now covered in images of delicate flowers and intertwining vines worked over a field of tiny truesilver stars, and turned it over and over in her hands. She was silent for a full minute.

“Thank you,” she said at last. “You’re . . . a real weirdo, but I don’t mind taking you to look at mushrooms.”

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Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Harris Derner of Brine Brothers, a brand that sells premium pickle brine.Some stats:Product: Premium pickle brine.Revenue/mo: $10,000Started: March 2017Location: New York CityFounders: 2Employees: 0Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?Hello, my name is Harris Derner and I am the co-founder of Brine Brothers, an All-Natural Premium Brine company. I started Brine Brothers in 2016 with my friend of 25+ years, Michael Belicose. Our current products are all-natural, drinkable pickle brines; ‘Darn Good Dill’ - the classic for pickle lovers and ‘Chili Cherry Fire’ - for those who like it hot. Pickle ‘brine’ (also referred to as pickle ‘juice’) is the liquid solution that transforms cucumbers into pickles.What makes us unique and distinguishes us from thousands of pickle companies is that we do NOT sell pickles…..just the Brine. Our product is the only all-natural pickle juice on the market. We designed our 750ml bottles to fit specifically with a shot pour making it very easy and clean to serve. Most people think they can drink the leftover juice in pickle jars, but what they don't know is that brine is not meant for drinking. It contains a lot of preservatives and chemicals to keep the pickles fresh and can be dangerous to consume.Our customers at home as well as bars and restaurants use our brines for Pickle Back shots, Martini Mixers, Bloody Marys, Cramp Relief, Hangover Cure, and creating their own fun pickled food creations (pickle back chicken wings).Our company was recently featured on Barstool Sports Big Brain entrepreneur contest and won an investment from Barstool and Jon Taffer. We are currently generating over $10,000/month and are determined to make Brine Brothers a million-dollar beverage company.See the episode here.imageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?In 2015, when I figured out Pickle Juice was curing my hangovers, I looked everywhere to find a drinkable pickle brine, but it did not exist.It took me a couple months to realize that pickle juice was the main reason I was not getting a hangover. When I went out and took over 3 pickle back shots, the next morning I felt great.This led me to drinking the leftover juice in pickle jars before I went to sleep after a long night out. After chugging countless pickle jars, throwing out pickles, and straining all the seeds, I searched for a drinkable pickle juice and to my amazement I couldn't find anything.I talked to Mike (who had just got his MBA from Haas School of Business at Cal Berkeley) about the possible endeavor and then we were on a mission to take every pickle back shot in NYC.Fortunately, we didn’t have to go to 10,000 bars to realize they had the same problem as us. Every single bar we went to used the same unsanitary pickle juice in a plastic quart that they would usually grab off the floor. We knew we had something with our idea.Brine Brothers started as a passion project but we always knew it was bound to catch fire.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.Bringing our concept to reality was much harder than we anticipated. Neither of us had a background in the food/beverage industry but it was very helpful that we had a clear idea of the result we wanted to achieve.After researching our market, educating ourselves on the industry, and putting together a strong business plan, we were able to face our challenges.The JuiceWe started with small batches in a commercial kitchen to test flavors with family and friends, then ultimately found the flavor profiles we wanted.We needed the ability to scale the business, so we started looking for co-packers around the tri-state area. There was a lot of helpful resources online but like anything else on the internet it was harder than it looked. 95% of the co-packers we contacted stopped the conversation at ‘pickle juice.’They justified cutting the phone calls short by claiming they didn’t want pickle flavor affecting their bottling machines. We finally vetted a list of co-packers that agreed to run pickle juice through their bottling lines.Our next obstacle was learning how we can legally produce a consumable beverage. We worked with Cornell University and NC State. It took 4-months processing time to test our samples and obtain approval letters for our co-packer.https://www.instagram.com/p/BzVX9qHFBpj/We sourced our logo from 99designs. It was a really fun process where a community of artists compete for the project by submitting creative ideas. We selected a winning designer and worked with them to create the branding we have today.imageMike and I have witnessed so many bars spill pickle juice everywhere, so we always knew we wanted a glass 750ml bottle to make it easy to serve with a shot pour.Plus, we have never seen pickle juice in a wine bottle and thought it was another way to distance ourselves from just your regular pickle guys.imageOur startup costs were relatively low; business insurance, state filing fees, 99designs, trademarks, UPC Codes, food testing, and inventory. We invested a total of $11,000 in 2016 and had a business valuation of $200,000 3 years later.Describe the process of launching the business.After we ran our first 3,000 units, we went bar to bar in NYC handing out samples to bartenders. I worked part-time in a bar throughout college summers and knew if we could create something that was easier, cleaner, and faster for bartenders, they would love it. They never saw anything like it and were ecstatic.We were able to land several accounts before we started selling online straight to consumers. Mike’s brother-in-law, Jamie Haas, had a lot of experience building e-commerce stores so we were able to leverage his knowledge and employed him to build the site and run our IT. Mike and I know if we aren’t experts in a certain field then we will find someone who has the technical expertise.At this point in our operation we had 2 sales channels; e-commerce and NYC self-distribution to bars and restaurants. It was somewhat odd how the stars aligned when we launched in 2017, the year of the pickle trend. At the same time we were going live; pickle soda was trending, pickle flavored popcorn was in 7/11, and pickle slushee rumors were circulating out of Sonic drive-ins. There couldn’t have been a better opportunity for us to have the only all-natural premium branded pickle juice on the market.We caught the attention of Delish.com and 400k views on Facebook.https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10156721527587437Landing an athlete sponsorShortly after we launched, we saw NHL-NJ Devils forward Blake Coleman drinking a pickle jar in the penalty box. Pickle juice is a growing trend among athletes for cramp relief; faster than water and sugary sports drinks.https://twitter.com/njdevils/status/917129331939446785?lang=enMike and I are huge devils fans so we did everything we could to connect with him. We were finally able to reach him via Instagram DM, dropped off samples, and have been business partners with him since.We currently white label Blake’s sport version of pickle juice ‘P20.’ This past season we joined Blake in his charity ‘Pickles Pals’ which supports the boys and girls club of Ironbound-Newark, NJ.imageSince launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?The first two years we were building Brine Brothers organically through grass roots growth. We attended pickle festivals on the east coast, pitched bar to bar in NYC, and were very active on social media. We had the longest lines at festivals, and nothing makes us happier than creating something people love and enjoy.imageWe currently run % discounts and promotions for holiday sales, MailChimp for email marketing, and have tapped one of our childhood friends, Kurtis Alward, for SEM and online marketing strategy.Kurt has an extensive background in this field, we are under his guidance for SEO, ad spending, and social media marketing.imageThese metrics are from 1.5 weeks after the Big Brain release. We monitor our activity daily and are cautiously distributing our online marketing budget. We are finding out which platforms are working best for us and at the right customer acquisition costs.Articles and mentions from companies like Barstool, $20 chef, Delish, NHL.com, trendhunter.com, CBS news, USA Today, and NJ Bergen Record have fueled our growth and online search results.imageCheck out our Barstool video here.Our biggest e-commerce challenge is shipping costs. Customers are deterred when they see shipping is $12.80 but the bottles are only $8. The new norm is Amazon free 2-day shipping and as an avid amazon user I understand their hesitation.However, we priced our online bottles at a lower price to make up for the high shipping prices. 3 bottles fit into one package, so we try to tell our customers the most cost-effective is the 3-pack for a total of $34.Our bottles retail at stores for over $11 ea, so they are paying the same price buying a 3-pack online. We engaged in talks with Amazon but they are crushing small businesses under their model and it would leave us near breakeven.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?The future is very exciting for Brine Brothers. Our passion project has escalated into a premium beverage brand that we hope continues to grow.Our focus after the Barstool Big Brain contest is on distribution. We have had so many people reach out to us, the support and requests for our product has been amazing. We are in talks with regional and national distributors to scale our company and get to more customers.Brine Brothers - All-Natural Premium Brine Company. We have always wanted to keep our options open for future products. After our recent success of pickle brine we will be expanding to premium olive brines. Everyone has seen bartenders strain unsanitary olive jars while making martinis. This will be another big market for us and this time we already have the infrastructure in place.We are also working on merchandise. We have orders in for branded tote bags for our festivals and Barstool Sports co-branded apparel. Barstool has been a great partner for us with a lot of resources we plan on leveraging. Look out for our t-shirts soon:imageBarstools investment has allowed us to scale our inventory and increase our profit margin from 60% to 80%. This will allow us to grow even faster than our YoY growth of 200%.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?We have really valued surrounding ourselves with industry experts.Jamie and Kurt have been a great addition to our team. Another example is my father, Jules, who has been an executive in the packaging industry for over 25 years. We have been able to bounce ideas off him and looked to him for guidance on issues such as packaging, supplies, freight, and fulfillment. Another childhood friend of ours, Jason Sansone, is a professional videographer who has also helped us out with content:https://www.instagram.com/p/BzQETkFlg5E/We look back and are still amazed that we were able to partner with Blake and the Devils. It has been an extremely fun and rewarding partnership. Not only do we want to expand our business, but we are also trying to make an impact and strengthen communities.imageWhat platform/tools do you use for your business?We originally used WooCommerce but have recently switched to Shopify. We made the jump after realizing how much better shopify works for us. They offered better reporting and analytics we can use for customer engagement and acquisition.Social MediaInstagramFacebookTwitterToolsGoogle AnalyticsFacebook MarketingMailChimp99DesignsWhat have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?I have always wanted to start my own company. Even if it takes working 80 hours/week instead of 40, I rather create something for myself and my family than work a job that is unfulfilling.We always try to surround ourselves with people that inspire us. Our families and friends have all played a major role in propelling us to where we are today.Podcasts I am listening to right now:Bloomberg’s; Masters in BusinessSide Hustle SchoolPlanet MoneyAdvice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Nothing is easy, be creative, and prepare to make sacrifices.It took us 2 years from concept to production and we faced more challenges than ever anticipated. Stay focused and goal oriented.We found a need for a product that didn’t exist. So we created it.Its been 3 years, Mike and I still have never taken a distribution from the company, not even our original investment. All of our profits go back into the business to grow and scale. We have sacrificed countless hours and efforts into growing our company.imageAre you looking to hire for certain positions right now?We currently do not have any positions open but are always seeking help with the following:Social content creators (we can always use more freelance content)Help at our pickle festivals (shoot us a DM if we are in a city near you!)Where can we go to learn more?www.brinebrothers.comhttps://www.facebook.com/brinebros/https://www.instagram.com/brinebrothers/?hl=enhttps://twitter.com/brinebrothers?lang=ensales@brinebrothers.comIf you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM

[healtheffect2-blog]

New Step by Step Map For hair fall solution

The value of Nizoral is that it's a triple menace – it avoid hair loss and dandruff whilst completely cleansing your hair and scalp in addition to blocking androgen receptors that can lead to thinning. one/ Hair loss, also referred to as alopecia, is most frequently hereditary — passed down from generation to technology. 17/ Rogaine helps make the hair-growing stage last extended, and enlarges and matures slender hairs. But it would not work for everyone. Just after the color tragedy, I stay far far from artificial hair colours. I have hardly any gray hair, And that i use henna to go over my greys. Light sufficient for even one of the most delicate pores and skin and hair varieties, Pure Biology is made up of natural extracts, oils, biotin and keratin, which work to encourage hair growth and restore damage. The 3HC Hair Stimulating Elaborate contained in Pure Biology’s formula is completely groundbreaking, as it stimulates cells that take care of hair follicle development. The Food stuff and Drug Administration has authorized a very low-stage laser system as a treatment for hereditary hair loss in men and women. Some compact scientific studies have proven that it enhances hair density. Much more scientific tests are required to clearly show prolonged-expression effects. Surgical treatments to take care of baldness are high-priced and can be agonizing. Attainable hazards include things like bleeding and scarring. Hair regrowth treatment offers with the use of stem mobile therapy as a way to revive the dropped stem cells. On the subject of hair regrowth treatment, Labelle is The best option for it. It has been argued that dandruff may add to hair loss; while there’s no direct connection, it’s unquestionably worthy of noting here. Use just one shampoo that actually works and keep on with it. You may additionally choose to utilize a conditioner, preferably one which’s designed for guys who will be enduring hair loss. The 1st indication of catagen may be the cessation of melanin creation from the hair bulb and apoptosis of follicular melanocytes.[seven] Eventually, the follicle is one/six its unique size, resulting in the hair shaft to be pushed upward. Even though hair isn't growing during this section, the size with the terminal fibers improve when the follicle pushes them upward. Telogen stage[edit] Once again, oils like coconut and almond make an excellent leave-in conditioner. To make use of: Have a couple drops of oil and rub it involving your palms and implement to damp or dry hair (staying away from the roots) and leave in. I was wrong, and now I desire to burst into tears each time I examine my hair or touch it. I just don’t know how to proceed. my hair has also Hardly ever been shorter than this and it breaks and falls out. What should really i do to regrow hair? Stem cell therapy for hair loss is a powerful process where someone can see new hair growth inside of four months in the therapy. Stem cell therapy for hair loss is easily the most effective and groundbreaking course of action and that is comparatively safer, fret-a lot less and yields guaranteed outcomes.

Indicators on hair growth shampoo You Should Know

If we’ve already killed many of the healthier microorganisms inside our system and replaced them with negative microorganisms then the human body could be more delicate to autoimmune complications. Base Line: Vitamin C is required to make collagen and can help avoid hair from growing older. Great re source s contain peppers, citrus fruits and strawberries. We endorse the do-it-yourself Variation inside the Equilibrium Plan. The Scalp Elixir might cause discomfort instantly subsequent a dermarolling session, so you must wait around at the least 8 several hours ahead of implementing towards the scalp.   And please ‘Refrain’ from saying anything at all harsh on your hair, Even when you can be tempted to do so. Or your hair will probably be doomed. No, I'm joking, but you may push absent your hair recovery, trust me on this a person. Whenever we exercise, it helps to cut back anxiety hormones — that are the bad boys that love to latch on in your hair follicles and harm them. When hair follicles were being handled with WAY-316606 in excess of six days, hair shaft manufacturing was demonstrated to raise drastically: I bear in mind the way it feels. Experience helpless that I was slowly but surely going bald and there was nothing at all I could do about this. I’ll also expose why it’s turning into much more prevalent, and beginning at a younger and youthful age for Lots of individuals. Bottom Line: Vitamin D's precise job in hair growth is not comprehended, but 1 kind of hair loss is linked to deficiencies. You may improve vitamin D amounts by means of sun exposure or by feeding on specific foods. Your just lately considered items and showcased suggestions › View or edit your browsing historical past When even further research is critical, it seems WAY-316606 could be a promising option to minoxidil and finasteride. Bottom Line: Consuming adequate protein is essential for hair growth, While a protein deficiency is rare in Western international locations nowadays. The key system behind PSO’s results is believed to get its inhibition with the enzyme 5AR. Via this, DHT is then blocked from staying produced and, as a result, simply cannot wreak havoc within the hair follicles. Individuals have been boasting a ‘cure for hair loss’ might be out there in ‘five year’s time’ for as long as any one can don't forget.

https://steptoremedies.com/jamaican-black-castor-oil-hair-growth/ For hair loss in women Unveiled

Just identified this website. Have read some very good Data. Will be trying the recent oils. I have undesirable hair destruction from in excess of twenty years or chemicals. Thanks for the data. Should you be balding or see thinning hair, then locating the top hair loss shampoo is essential for regrowth. When there are numerous reasons for guys’s hair loss, like genetics, pressure, vitamin deficiencies and extra styling, there are numerous great hair growth shampoos, conditioners, and items that can reduce loss as well as assist grow hair again. https://twitter.com/steptoremedies/ is because of genetics. Obtaining an iron deficiency inhibits your creation of hemoglobin, that's essential for hair growth. This shampoo revitalizes uninteresting strands when strengthening and supporting follicles, hair and scalp health and fitness. Great for Those people seeking to repair service harmed hair and aid beat hair loss, this shampoo is actually a confirmed winner. Tinea capitis is also known as ringworm in the scalp. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pafCn_5-6Oc of Tinea Capitis and find out more concerning the well being matter. Whisk an egg. Mix in four tablespoons of grapeseed oil and a few drops of lavender oil. Implement it to the hair and scalp and go away it on for fifty percent one hour. At last, rinse it out and shampoo your hair as normal. Egg yolk has lecithin, which happens to be an emulsifier. It really works to emulsify the oil with h2o, which is then rinsed out. So essentially https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6Xg0Wn3pKI cuts with the grease and Grime and will make your hair squeaky thoroughly clean. Remark:Thanks I will check out it solutions… my hair just isn't growing in the slightest degree and the perimeters much too are long gone. can’t even come to feel happy to go away my natural hair on.. https://www.wikihow.com/Reduce-Hairfall works for me. Prevent nutritional deficiencies mainly because they tend to affect your hair adversely. For example, vitamin E and zinc deficiencies produce hair thinning and loss. Base Line: Vitamin C is necessary to make collagen and can assist avoid hair from growing old. Superior resources contain peppers, citrus fruits and strawberries. In search of the ideal Young children hair gel on the market? We tested the most effective hair gels for youths from your prime ... These merchandise usually are harmless but commonly not scientifically demonstrated and for that reason probably ineffective. To slow down hair loss, you can find at the least 4 possibly efficient, primary possibilities. These involve prescription drugs like Minoxidil, and Propecia, which happen to be for very long-time period use. Stopping these drugs isn't going to seem to worsen or exacerbate the prior hair loss. The patient will basically revert towards the state he would have been in had he never started out treatment. Adolescent boys see some receding near the temples as their hairlines adjust from your straight-across boys' sample to the greater "M-formed" pattern of adult Adult males. This usual development isn't going to necessarily mean They can be shedding hair. And it’s been verified being so effective that you only have to use it 2 times per week. If you need an anti-dandruff and anti-hair loss solution, this shampoo is definitely a choice you are able to rely on to accomplish its position.

hair growth No Further a Mystery

Dropping hair is a component of a normal cycle of growth and substitute. Hair follicles go throughout the growth and resting cycle in a very nonsynchronized vogue. But occasionally things go Completely wrong. Sulfate made up of shampoos can dehydrate your scalp, generating hair loss even even worse. What helps make Art Naturals Natural Argan Oil shampoo practically a magical potion for hair loss is The shortage of sulfates coupled with the existence of argan oil. There are actually a few levels of labor, phase 1 is definitely the longest and happens once the cervix begins to slim and dilate. For the duration of phase two of labor the baby passes in the delivery canal and stays there right up until shipping and delivery, and stage 3, is when the toddler is delivered. The dwelling Element of the hair could be the extremely base aspect surrounding the papilla, called the bulb. The cells with the bulb divide each and every 23 to 72 several hours, remarkably faster than almost every other cell in the human body. Acquired a query and might’t discover the best response on the net? https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Hair-Loss-Naturally not as Answeropedia welcomes you to lift a query and you'll see a big selection of legitimate responses in no time. Whilst several medicines list "hair loss" amongst their potential Unwanted effects, most medications are not going to induce hair loss. On the other hand, most cancers treatment (for instance, chemotherapy or radiation therapy) and immunosuppressive medicines typically make hair loss. Comprehensive hair loss after chemotherapy commonly regrows following 6 to twelve months. Exactly what are the effects of cigarette smoking tobacco? Besides and enhanced hazard of cigarette smoking connected illnesses, cigarette smoking can affect your appears and moods. Get info on how smoking impacts big organs, triggers wrinkles, and will increase your hazard of most cancers. An overview of shampoos for thinning hairHair loss is usually a bring about for problem in equally Adult men and women. Persons eliminate snooze above the fact that they are shedding hair. Study hair loss in women and Gentlemen. Find hair loss leads to and treatments and how to avoid hair loss. Vitamin D is believed to Enjoy a role in hair creation, but most research focuses on vitamin D receptors. The particular part of vitamin D in hair growth is not known. Massage your scalp with sizzling oil ideally coconut, castor or olive oil. Just take the warm oil readily available and implement it to your scalp. Rub your fingers on the scalp within a circular motion, applying Light pressure. Healthline shares five ideas to maintain your locks healthier and robust throughout menopause, when hormonal imbalances frequently bring on hair loss. Could via steptoremedies.com enable me make meera hair clean powder in the home (remember to counsel measurements to the components)? That way I is usually a hundred% chemical free. "I believed I'll never have healthy and thick hair. I didn't go through with my hair graft.. https://steptoremedies.com/onion-juice-hair/ received the same effects, for under a cup of espresso! I look and feel terrific!"

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Our hunt for the ideal hair growth vitamins provided deep label-examining. Did the product or service in issue have elements vital to hair growth? Did it have natural substances or was it loaded with substances which could harm Your whole body? Lasers. Office environment and home primarily based laser comb devices are occasionally effective in stimulating new hair growth. Adult males shouldn't have to manage dry pores and skin less than their beard. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-SiXXn3EKKI2t7btdwEplw , flaky and itchy beard dandruff ... It’s very easy to say that each one of us need to check the label of every thing we acquire, it’s Yet another point really to get it done. But do your very best to check the label of any beard growth health supplement before buying. For 1, there might be an component that you simply’re allergic to or usually not fantastic for yourself. For now, just are aware that there are several hair growth health supplements, products, and vitamins in the marketplace. We’ll touch on the ideal kinds in this article, but be wary of inferior products that do almost nothing in excess of overload you with specific vitamins and minerals with out performing a issue for hair growth. But thinning hair and hair loss are also typical in women, and no fewer demoralizing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_Is_Falling can range between the simple and short term—a vitamin deficiency—to the more advanced, like an underlying well being situation. Immediately after braving the chilly winds on the freezing winter months, a single can not await the appearance of the warm temperate... Light more than enough for even probably the most sensitive pores and skin and hair sorts, Pure Biology consists of natural extracts, oils, biotin and keratin, which do the job to promote hair growth and mend problems. The 3HC Hair Stimulating Elaborate contained in Pure Biology’s method is completely innovative, since it stimulates cells that manage hair follicle growth. Among the Manetabolism’s other substances are zinc, that is important for healthier hair and encourages faster hair growth, and folic acid – which happens to be superior for All round hair good quality (and the general longevity of hair quality). Folic acid also functions by renewing the cells that grow hair. Not that these elements has to be in each individual bottle you analyze, but just know which they’re handy to hair growth. I am 95% vegetarian and occasionally try to eat some meat. So little herbs youtube videos get my quota of protein and iron from Tremendous wholesome and Tremendous yummy lentil (dals) and beans, which I largely sprout. Long, powerful and shiny hair is sort of Absolutely everyone’s desire however not everyone seems to be able to meet it. Not surprisingly, it’s vital that you keep your scalp balanced, but it’s also crucial to pay attention towards your diet. You may have dry, frizzy, clean or silky hair - every one of these are signs of your inside wellbeing. If just about anything goes lacking, your plant will wither away. So don’t haste, give your very best and Enable God do the rest. Earning a hair rinse is so simple as earning a herbal tea. Add sizzling water on the herb of your respective decision, Allow it steep, protected till it cools down, then use. My beloved hair rinse would be the very first a single about the list.

The best Side of hair fall

Lipogaine’s Huge three, much like the Significant five, is gentle and free of harsh chemicals, in addition to is Safe and sound for coloration-handled hair, in addition to all hair types. Yet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHMYylxhL4k like about this is always that it comes along with a full 90-day a refund warranty. Or, if you'd like to hold factors basic, You need to use an item like Ulrax Hair Surge regularly as it incorporates ketoconazole. The value of Nizoral is that it is a triple threat – it avoid hair loss and dandruff though extensively cleansing your hair and scalp and blocking androgen receptors that may lead to thinning. https://www.pinterest.com/healthhomeremedies/steptoremedies/ of the elements are precisely the same for Lipogaine Significant 5 and Big 3 and operate jointly to fortify and nourish hair while blocking thinning and breakage. A part of the prolonged list of organic ingredients are rosemary oil, coconut oil, jojoba oil, eco-friendly tea, cedarwood oil, and much more. A cure for hair loss can be The most thrilling scientific research to come back alongside during the wellbeing field in a very long time. Possible, a cure for male hair loss would also crossover and be a female hair loss cure likewise. It will also make a lot of cash for whoever patents it initial, too. These products and solutions usually are harmless but usually not scientifically tested and so most likely ineffective. To decelerate hair loss, there are at the very least 4 potentially helpful, essential solutions. These contain medications like Minoxidil, and Propecia, that are for extensive-expression use. Halting these medication would not appear to worsen or exacerbate the prior hair loss. The patient will basically revert on the state he might have been in experienced he in no way started out treatment. Physicians refer to frequent baldness as "androgenetic alopecia" or "androgenic alopecia," which implies that a mix of hormones and heredity (genetics) is essential to produce the affliction. When not a cure for hair loss, this could obvious up the muddy waters no doubt. DNA-screening is just starting to be commercially readily available and by 2020 you’ll have the capacity to rely on the probability that it will be a lot more Highly developed and affordable. Nevertheless the dream of getting amazing hair is not not possible to obtain, you simply will need to grasp the right factors to accomplish and practice them with devotion. Just abide by these straightforward hair growth splendor techniques for healthier hair, and you’ll have the ability to Activity locks that even Rapunzel would have envied. The end result is usually a strong formula that nourishes your hair to stop breakage or thinning. Castor oil also stops micro organism and dandruff from accumulating on your scalp, so you don’t have to worry about any pesky dandruff and flakes displaying up. Also, generally listen to an item’s listing of elements to ensure that it doesn’t consist of anything which may induce an allergic reaction. The underside line is always that, Nizoral is excellent at controlling the flaking, scaling, and itching affiliated with dandruff, and provides a secure and nutritious dose from the active component in most hair loss solutions. The Human Physique Quiz will let you learn about your tiny-acknowledged body components! Choose this quiz To find out more regarding your overall body and what goes on within. It's been argued that dandruff could contribute to hair loss; although there’s no direct hyperlink, it’s certainly well worth noting right here.

hair fall treatment Secrets

A wonderful comb can hurt the fragile new growth and result in abrasions in your scalp. Whereas large-tooth wood comb is much more Light (when compared with the plastic kinds) in your hair and scalp. Vast tooth comb also presents massaging influence and assist distribute sebum (natural oils) through the scalp to hair. As the therapeutic approach over can take put, this stimulates collagen generation. This then results in the production of new pores and skin cells which incorporate new and (generally) nutritious hair follicles. This might suggest that, much from staying fully based on your genes, your setting performs an important position in no matter whether get rid of your hair. While additional investigate is necessary, It appears WAY-316606 could be a promising alternative to minoxidil and finasteride. Just before using Minoxidil, however, look at that optimistic benefits will stop Soon soon after use finishes. This is due to Minoxidil operates to only treat the indications; it doesn’t address the actual induce. On top of that, you could possibly experience quite a few Unintended effects, including: The 2nd crucial cure for hair growth is using a vast-tooth Wooden comb. It’s really calming and soothing around the scalp and stimulates the hair follicles to wake up and grow new hair. Alternatively, You may also utilize a wood hairbrush to comb your hair. Now, further more than just testing the efficiency of RU on hair growth, researchers were being also interested in knowledge the very best dosage, the two with regard to success and protection. Resource. As should be to be predicted, The mix treatment proved to become the simplest at enhancing hair rely, and hair mass (not shown in the above mentioned graph). Plainly eating much more alkaline foods and less acidic types might help to shift the body back again into it’s natural alkaline condition and defend the scalp from extra DHT. Just after regaining my senses I reverted back again to my roots – began oil massaging, implementing hair packs, utilizing an herbal hair rinse as opposed to the store-bought conditioner – and the good news is always that my hair fall has stopped and I've recovered all my shed hair and texture. Remarkably the volume of white hair have also reduced in the final few years (I'm able to’t position to 1 one factor that I do/did, Possibly very little of every thing has aided). What to do: Figure out how to browse the labels and buy solutions that contains safer and natural ingredients. When you are Not sure about any ingredient Test its security at One of the better factors about hair growth shampoos is the ability to tailor them to suit your specific requirements. So, whether your scalp is oily, dry, or a mix, you'll be able to experiment to understand what performs greatest. Foods allergy symptoms make, then amplify, autoimmune responses within our bodies. They make our immune devices hypersensitive to nearly anything it thinks is overseas.

[blackkudos]

Richie Havens

Richard Pierce Havens, known professionally as Richie Havens, (January 21, 1941 – April 22, 2013) was an American singer-songwriter and guitarist. His music encompassed elements of folk, soul, and rhythm and blues. He is best known for his intense and rhythmic guitar style (often in open tunings), soulful covers of pop and folk songs, and his opening performance at the 1969 Woodstock Festival.

Life and career

Early life

Born in Brooklyn, Havens was the eldest of nine children. He was of Native American (Blackfoot) descent on his father's side, and of the British West Indies on his mother's. His grandfather was Blackfoot of the Montana/South Dakota area. Havens' grandfather and great-uncle joined Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, got off in New York City and ended up on the Shinnecock Reservation in Long Island. There he got married then moved to Brooklyn.

As a youth in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Havens began organizing his neighborhood friends into street corner doo-wop groups and was performing with the McCrea Gospel Singers at age 16.

Early career

At age 20, Havens left Brooklyn, seeking artistic stimulation in Greenwich Village. "I saw the Village as a place to escape to, in order to express yourself," he recalled. "I had first gone there during the Beatnik days of the 1950s to perform poetry, then I drew portraits for two years and stayed up all night listening to folk music in the clubs. It took a while before I thought of picking up a guitar."

Havens' solo performances quickly spread beyond the Village folk circles. After cutting two records for Douglas Records, he signed on with Bob Dylan's manager, Albert Grossman, and landed a record deal with the Verve Folkways(later Verve Forecast) label. Verve released Mixed Bag in late 1966, which featured tracks such as "Handsome Johnny" (co-written by Havens and actor Louis Gossett Jr.), "Follow", and a cover of Bob Dylan's "Just Like a Woman".

By 1969, Havens had released five more albums. Something Else Again (1968) became his first album to hit the Billboard charts and also pulled Mixed Bag back onto the charts. Two of those albums were unauthorized "exploitation albums" released by Douglas Records (or Douglas International): Electric Havens (released June 1, 1968) and Richie Havens Record (1969).

Woodstock and increased visibility

Havens as a live performer earned widespread notice. His Woodstock appearance in 1969 catapulted him into stardom and was a major turning point in his career. As the festival's first performer, he held the crowd for nearly three hours. In part, Havens was told to continue playing, because many artists scheduled to perform after him were delayed in reaching the festival location with highways at a virtual standstill. He was called back for several encores. Having run out of tunes, he improvised a song based on the old spiritual "Motherless Child" that became "Freedom". In an interview with Cliff Smith, for Music-Room, he explained:

"I'd already played every song I knew and I was stalling, asking for more guitar and mic, trying to think of something else to play – and then it just came to me...The establishment was foolish enough to give us all this freedom and we used it in every way we could."

The subsequent Woodstock movie release helped Havens reach a worldwide audience. He also appeared two weeks later at the Isle of Wight Festival in late August 1969.

Following the success of his Woodstock performance, Havens started his own record label, Stormy Forest, and released Stonehenge in 1970. Later that year came Alarm Clock, which included the George Harrison-penned hit single, "Here Comes the Sun". This was Havens' first album to reach Billboard's Top 30 Chart. Stormy Forest went on to release four more of his albums: The Great Blind Degree (1971), Live On Stage (1972), Portfolio (1973), and Mixed Bag II (1974). Memorable television appearances included performances on The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. On the latter program, the audience reacted with such enthusiasm that when the applause continued even after the commercial break, Carson asked Havens to return the following night.

Havens also began acting during the 1970s. He was featured in the original 1972 stage presentation of The Who's Tommy, as Othello in the 1974 film Catch My Soul, in Greased Lightning alongside Richard Pryor and in Bob Dylan's Hearts of Fire.

Havens increasingly devoted his energies to educating young people about ecological issues. In the mid-1970s, he co-founded the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children's museum on City Island in the Bronx. That, in turn, led to the creation of the Natural Guard, an organization Havens described as "...a way of helping kids learn that they can have a hands-on role in affecting the environment. Children study the land, water, and air in their own communities and see how they can make positive changes from something as simple as planting a garden in an abandoned lot." In July 1978 he also was a featured performer at the Benefit Concert for The Longest Walk, an American Indian spiritual walk from Alcatraz to Washington DC affirming treaty rights, as a result of legislation that had been introduced to abrogate Indian treaties.

Branching out more into the media

During the 1980s and 1990s, Havens continued a world touring schedule and a steady release of albums. The release of 1993's Resume, The Best of Richie Havens Rhino collected his late 1960s and early 1970s recordings. In 1982, he composed and performed a promotional slogan for NBC's 1982–83 television season, entitled We're NBC, Just Watch Us Now. He also performed slogans for CBS and ABC, and recorded commercials for Amtrak, singing the slogan "There's something about a train that's magic"; and in 1985, for Coca-Cola. Havens also did corporate commercial work for Maxwell House Coffee, as well as singing "The Fabric of Our Lives" theme for the cotton industry. In 1982 he appeared at the UK's Glastonbury Festival, closing the show on the Sunday night.

In 1993, Havens performed at the inauguration of President Bill Clinton. Among the selections was the "Cotton" song, made famous by a series of television ads in the early 1990s. In 1999, Havens played at the Tibetan Freedom Concert for an audience of more than 100,000.

Havens also played a small role as a character named Daze in a 1990 film called Street Hunter, starring John Leguizamo.

Havens was the 20th living recipient of the Peace Abbey Courage of Conscience Award, presented in Sherborn, Massachusetts, on April 12, 1991.

In addition to performing at charity benefit concerts, Havens formed the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children's museum on City Island in The Bronx. The museum led to the creation of The Natural Guard, an organization that educates children about the environment.

Final years

In 2000, Havens teamed with the electronic music duo Groove Armada for the retro 1970s-style song, "Hands of Time". The song was featured on the soundtrack of the film Collateral; the same song was also used in the films Domino, A Lot Like Love, and Tell No One. Havens was also featured on "Little By Little" and "Healing" on the band's third album, Goodbye Country.

In 2000, he published They Can't Hide Us Anymore, an autobiography co-written with Steve Davidowitz. Havens maintained his status as a folk icon and continued to tour. In 2002, he released Wishing Well, followed by the 2004 album Grace of the Sun.

In 2003, the National Music Council awarded Havens the American Eagle Award for his place as part of America's musical heritage and for providing "a rare and inspiring voice of eloquence, integrity and social responsibility."

On October 15, 2006, Havens was inducted into the Long Island Music Hall of Fame.

In 2007, Havens appeared as "Old Man Arvin" in the Todd Haynes film I'm Not There. In a classic front-porch jam scene, he is shown singing the Bob Dylan song "Tombstone Blues" with Marcus Carl Franklin and Tyrone Benskin. Havens' version of the song also appears on the I'm Not There soundtrack.

In February 2008, Havens performed at The Jazz Café in London, England. The performance and the man was described by Cliff Smith, reporting for Music-News as "Mesmerising, poetic, profound, funny...".

Havens was invited to perform at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival opening ceremony. He played "Freedom" at the request of the jury president, Sean Penn. He also performed at the London, Ontario, Blues Festival in July 2008.

In March 2008, Havens released a new studio album entitled, Nobody Left To Crown. The first single release was the country-tinged "The Key".

Havens appeared in the acclaimed 2009 film Soundtrack for a Revolution, which provided a general history of the modern civil rights movement, and had modern artists performing many of the era's musical classics. In the film, Havens performed a haunting rendition of Will the Circle Be Unbroken?.

On May 3, 2009, Havens performed at the fundraising concert in honor of Pete Seeger's 90th birthday. In June 2009, he performed at the fifth annual Mountain Jam Festival. The event, hosted by Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule guitarist Warren Haynes, was held at the Hunter Mountain Ski Resort in Hunter, New York. As is the tradition, the festival took place on the weekend following Memorial Day. On June 20, 2009, Havens performed at the Clearwater Festival. On July 4, 2009, he performed at the Woodstock Tribute festival in Ramsey, New Jersey. On August 8, 2010, he performed at Musikfest 2010 at Foy Hall at Moravian College in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Health problems and death

In 2010, Havens had kidney surgery but did not recover fully enough to perform as he had before. On March 20, 2012, he announced on his Facebook page that he would stop touring after 45 years due to health concerns.

On April 22, 2013, Havens died of a heart attack at home in Jersey City, New Jersey at the age of 72. The BBC referred to him as a "Woodstock icon," while Stephen Stills of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young said Havens "could never be replicated." The Daily Telegraph stated Havens "made an indelible mark on contemporary music," while Douglas Martin of The New York Times reported that Havens had "riveted Woodstock."

Pursuant to Havens's request, his remains were cremated and his ashes were scattered from the air over the original site of the Woodstock Festival, in a ceremony held on August 18, 2013, the 44th anniversary of the last day of the festival.

Havens was survived by three children, five grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

Wikipedia

[blackkudos]

Richie Havens

Richard Pierce Havens, known professionally as Richie Havens, (January 21, 1941 – April 22, 2013) was an American singer-songwriter and guitarist. His music encompassed elements of folk, soul, and rhythm and blues. He is best known for his intense and rhythmic guitar style (often in open tunings), soulful covers of pop and folk songs, and his opening performance at the 1969 Woodstock Festival.

Life and career

Early life

Born in Brooklyn, Havens was the eldest of nine children. He was of Native American (Blackfoot) descent on his father's side, and of the British West Indies on his mother's. His grandfather was Blackfoot of the Montana/South Dakota area. Havens' grandfather and great-uncle joined Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, got off in New York City and ended up on the Shinnecock Reservation in Long Island. There he got married then moved to Brooklyn.

As a youth in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Havens began organizing his neighborhood friends into street corner doo-wop groups and was performing with the McCrea Gospel Singers at age 16.

Early career

At age 20, Havens left Brooklyn, seeking artistic stimulation in Greenwich Village. "I saw the Village as a place to escape to, in order to express yourself," he recalled. "I had first gone there during the Beatnik days of the 1950s to perform poetry, then I drew portraits for two years and stayed up all night listening to folk music in the clubs. It took a while before I thought of picking up a guitar."

Havens' solo performances quickly spread beyond the Village folk circles. After cutting two records for Douglas Records, he signed on with Bob Dylan's manager, Albert Grossman, and landed a record deal with the Verve Folkways(later Verve Forecast) label. Verve released Mixed Bag in late 1966, which featured tracks such as "Handsome Johnny" (co-written by Havens and actor Louis Gossett Jr.), "Follow", and a cover of Bob Dylan's "Just Like a Woman".

By 1969, Havens had released five more albums. Something Else Again (1968) became his first album to hit the Billboard charts and also pulled Mixed Bag back onto the charts. Two of those albums were unauthorized "exploitation albums" released by Douglas Records (or Douglas International): Electric Havens (released June 1, 1968) and Richie Havens Record (1969).

Woodstock and increased visibility

Havens as a live performer earned widespread notice. His Woodstock appearance in 1969 catapulted him into stardom and was a major turning point in his career. As the festival's first performer, he held the crowd for nearly three hours. In part, Havens was told to continue playing, because many artists scheduled to perform after him were delayed in reaching the festival location with highways at a virtual standstill. He was called back for several encores. Having run out of tunes, he improvised a song based on the old spiritual "Motherless Child" that became "Freedom". In an interview with Cliff Smith, for Music-Room, he explained:

"I'd already played every song I knew and I was stalling, asking for more guitar and mic, trying to think of something else to play – and then it just came to me...The establishment was foolish enough to give us all this freedom and we used it in every way we could."

The subsequent Woodstock movie release helped Havens reach a worldwide audience. He also appeared two weeks later at the Isle of Wight Festival in late August 1969.

Following the success of his Woodstock performance, Havens started his own record label, Stormy Forest, and released Stonehenge in 1970. Later that year came Alarm Clock, which included the George Harrison-penned hit single, "Here Comes the Sun". This was Havens' first album to reach Billboard's Top 30 Chart. Stormy Forest went on to release four more of his albums: The Great Blind Degree (1971), Live On Stage (1972), Portfolio (1973), and Mixed Bag II (1974). Memorable television appearances included performances on The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. On the latter program, the audience reacted with such enthusiasm that when the applause continued even after the commercial break, Carson asked Havens to return the following night.

Havens also began acting during the 1970s. He was featured in the original 1972 stage presentation of The Who's Tommy, as Othello in the 1974 film Catch My Soul, in Greased Lightning alongside Richard Pryor and in Bob Dylan's Hearts of Fire.

Havens increasingly devoted his energies to educating young people about ecological issues. In the mid-1970s, he co-founded the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children's museum on City Island in the Bronx. That, in turn, led to the creation of the Natural Guard, an organization Havens described as "...a way of helping kids learn that they can have a hands-on role in affecting the environment. Children study the land, water, and air in their own communities and see how they can make positive changes from something as simple as planting a garden in an abandoned lot." In July 1978 he also was a featured performer at the Benefit Concert for The Longest Walk, an American Indian spiritual walk from Alcatraz to Washington DC affirming treaty rights, as a result of legislation that had been introduced to abrogate Indian treaties.

Branching out more into the media

During the 1980s and 1990s, Havens continued a world touring schedule and a steady release of albums. The release of 1993's Resume, The Best of Richie Havens Rhino collected his late 1960s and early 1970s recordings. In 1982, he composed and performed a promotional slogan for NBC's 1982–83 television season, entitled We're NBC, Just Watch Us Now. He also performed slogans for CBS and ABC, and recorded commercials for Amtrak, singing the slogan "There's something about a train that's magic"; and in 1985, for Coca-Cola. Havens also did corporate commercial work for Maxwell House Coffee, as well as singing "The Fabric of Our Lives" theme for the cotton industry. In 1982 he appeared at the UK's Glastonbury Festival, closing the show on the Sunday night.

In 1993, Havens performed at the inauguration of President Bill Clinton. Among the selections was the "Cotton" song, made famous by a series of television ads in the early 1990s. In 1999, Havens played at the Tibetan Freedom Concert for an audience of more than 100,000.

Havens also played a small role as a character named Daze in a 1990 film called Street Hunter, starring John Leguizamo.

Havens was the 20th living recipient of the Peace Abbey Courage of Conscience Award, presented in Sherborn, Massachusetts, on April 12, 1991.

In addition to performing at charity benefit concerts, Havens formed the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children's museum on City Island in The Bronx. The museum led to the creation of The Natural Guard, an organization that educates children about the environment.

Final years

In 2000, Havens teamed with the electronic music duo Groove Armada for the retro 1970s-style song, "Hands of Time". The song was featured on the soundtrack of the film Collateral; the same song was also used in the films Domino, A Lot Like Love, and Tell No One. Havens was also featured on "Little By Little" and "Healing" on the band's third album, Goodbye Country.

In 2000, he published They Can't Hide Us Anymore, an autobiography co-written with Steve Davidowitz. Havens maintained his status as a folk icon and continued to tour. In 2002, he released Wishing Well, followed by the 2004 album Grace of the Sun.

In 2003, the National Music Council awarded Havens the American Eagle Award for his place as part of America's musical heritage and for providing "a rare and inspiring voice of eloquence, integrity and social responsibility."

On October 15, 2006, Havens was inducted into the Long Island Music Hall of Fame.

In 2007, Havens appeared as "Old Man Arvin" in the Todd Haynes film I'm Not There. In a classic front-porch jam scene, he is shown singing the Bob Dylan song "Tombstone Blues" with Marcus Carl Franklin and Tyrone Benskin. Havens' version of the song also appears on the I'm Not There soundtrack.

In February 2008, Havens performed at The Jazz Café in London, England. The performance and the man was described by Cliff Smith, reporting for Music-News as "Mesmerising, poetic, profound, funny...".

Havens was invited to perform at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival opening ceremony. He played "Freedom" at the request of the jury president, Sean Penn. He also performed at the London, Ontario, Blues Festival in July 2008.

In March 2008, Havens released a new studio album entitled, Nobody Left To Crown. The first single release was the country-tinged "The Key".

Havens appeared in the acclaimed 2009 film Soundtrack for a Revolution, which provided a general history of the modern civil rights movement, and had modern artists performing many of the era's musical classics. In the film, Havens performed a haunting rendition of Will the Circle Be Unbroken?.

On May 3, 2009, Havens performed at the fundraising concert in honor of Pete Seeger's 90th birthday. In June 2009, he performed at the fifth annual Mountain Jam Festival. The event, hosted by Allman Brothers Band and Gov't Mule guitarist Warren Haynes, was held at the Hunter Mountain Ski Resort in Hunter, New York. As is the tradition, the festival took place on the weekend following Memorial Day. On June 20, 2009, Havens performed at the Clearwater Festival. On July 4, 2009, he performed at the Woodstock Tribute festival in Ramsey, New Jersey. On August 8, 2010, he performed at Musikfest 2010 at Foy Hall at Moravian College in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Health problems and death

In 2010, Havens had kidney surgery but did not recover fully enough to perform as he had before. On March 20, 2012, he announced on his Facebook page that he would stop touring after 45 years due to health concerns.

On April 22, 2013, Havens died of a heart attack at home in Jersey City, New Jersey at the age of 72. The BBC referred to him as a "Woodstock icon," while Stephen Stills of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young said Havens "could never be replicated." The Daily Telegraph stated Havens "made an indelible mark on contemporary music," while Douglas Martin of The New York Times reported that Havens had "riveted Woodstock."

Pursuant to Havens's request, his remains were cremated and his ashes were scattered from the air over the original site of the Woodstock Festival, in a ceremony held on August 18, 2013, the 44th anniversary of the last day of the festival.

Havens was survived by three children, five grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

Wikipedia