#and it's like three in the friggin morning so pardon me

[nanabrainrot]

Hello can I request for a Joker x reader wherein the reader is in a really playful and teasing mood and he’s just really *REALLY* horny and desperate and he keeps on trying to pin her down but all she does is giggle and play around with him a a aa he eventually gets so frustrated he just gets her to shut up with *ehem*.. yeah

sorry this took FOREVER and a half. I got backed up my classwork and I misread this prompt, entirely wrote a different prompt, reread your request and entirely rewrote it ... oops! I hope you can forgive my delay please enjoy this work u lovely anon! I don’t get many requests if any so I make the few I get special :) thank u ❤️!

The Tease

Summary: Playfulness is your best and worst trait (but only sometimes).

Warnings: sexual content

Pairing: Arthur Fleck/F!Reader

This would be so much easier if you weren’t naked right now.

You stood, one knee on the bed diagonal to him at the end and your other leg’s foot flat on the floor, body barren save for the clear glaze of a fresh layer of lavender moisturizer, and applying some lip balm with your right pinky finger absentmindedly, the left hand fiddling with the salve’s packaging. “Like, seriously! I just switched to lavender cause my magazine said lavender is super good for sleep and we sleep next to each other so maybe it’ll help with insomnia! Wait, or do you put it on...?”

It’s bed time and at bed time, you chatter with him, though his comments rare, for about an hour as you go about your night routine. An important note about your night routine is you could only get shut eye if you were completely naked. You climb towards him on the bed, eyes set past him on nightstand behind him, where you always had your lip salve on. “‘scuse moi,” you mumble, climbing across him, bare breasts grazing his bare chest as you reach to put the salve on the stand. The next moment you straddle him, grinning innocently, “This salve makes my lips so soft! I finally got one that worked I’ve been through like 3 lip salves that just don’t friggin’ work, if anything they made my lips dry! Dry! You’re a lip salve, do your job! Like see —“ You crash your lips against his, lips soft and plump against his own, torso fully trapped against his. His cock hardens in his plaid pajama pants and you notice his grip on your hips tighten. “Woah!” you pull back from the deep kiss with a big smile, “what’re you doing there Arthur?”

“You look so pretty today,” he murmurs, pressing kisses against your breasts before licking at your exposed nipple. “Ah!” you yelp, surprised, as his hips thrust upward and your bare pussy is grazed by his cotton clad cock. His arms tighten around you in a vice hug as he pulls you in tight, sucking at your tit, as he rolls you onto your back. “Let me put it inside —“

In a second, you climb off the bed, wriggling from his grip like it was nothing but a loose hug, prancing off to the bathroom. “Not until I floss, brush my teeth, and mouthwash, Casanova!” you declare, opening the mirror cabinet to months old medications Arthur no longer felt the desire to take beside a half-empty mouthwash bottle and some loose floss. “Are you coming in here to floss with me or what?!” you cry out, loud so he’s sure to hear. The floss glides through your first three teeth until Arthur shuffles into the restroom, stopping behind you to palm at your nude body.

“Hands off, I have to do my night routine.” A glob of toothpaste on a blue and green plastic toothbrush finds your front teeth when you feel Arthur’s bare cock prod against your ass. “Still doing my night routine —“ His calloused hand finds your upper back and shoves you down so your back arches in a way that puts your pussy on display. His cock is prodding the hole as you swish mouthwash about your mouth some seconds later. By the time you spit it out, his tip is at your entrance and Arthur’s hand jacking his base so the precum meets your hole. “Brush your teeth!” you remark, rolling your eyes. straightening yourself up and playfully, pushing him back gently. He scrunched up his nose at you as he pulled up his pants past his cock, hiding the hard flesh from you as you waltzed back to the bedroom.

He stood alone in the bathroom, silent palming his cock through the fabric as he watched your hips move, only more sultry knowing you wouldn’t let him have you. You did this some nights, playing with your food, acting like a cat toying with a mouse. You’d get your way and he too, but only after you drove him crazy.

“So I found this moisturizer again, and this superb neck cream! Tightens it all up! You gotta apply at night though, if you do in the morning the sun steals your youth,” you state, another claim from your beauty magazine subscriptions. “Arthur, come in here and pick your socks up off the floor and put ‘em in the hamper please!”

You sat on the edge of the bed, your legs crossed, the one on top bouncing with all the pent up energy you had in you. He watched you from the doorway as you applied the cream, hands smoothing the silky cream across your skin, dipping low almost to your breasts, tantalizing and enticing. He draws in closer, shuffling slowly as your eyes close to massage the flesh of your neck. “— and today at work Jamie definitely look lunch that wasn’t hers! She can’t even make a sandwich right, you expect me to believe that you made that gnocchi from home?! Mmf -“

Your back presses again the quilt, eyes shot wide with the bewilderment that Arthur was holding you down, his eyes darting to take in all your features at once. Yet again, it’s throbbing and pressed against your bare hole through the tented fabric. “Still not finished, mister. I just gotta do one or two more things,” you squint testily, a smirk playing at your lips. He knew you wanted it but your night routine came first. Routine, routine, routine with you.

You went in for a kiss, watching his eyes glaze over with desire, but closing in anticipation. Almost touching lips... almost there... “See my hairtie’s over here.” You always wriggled away from him, playing at him when he let his guard down. He groans at he realizes he’s pinning cold air down as you move to the nightstand to put your hair in a high ponytail. You watch him gawk at your breasts as you raise your arms to fiddle with the hairtie and grin. He never lost the magic in seeing you naked.

“Turn on the new episode of Happy Days?” you say sweetly. He nods his head with enthusiasm, grabbing the remote to turn it on. Anytime you asked him to change to a show at night, he knew you were drawing close to the end of your routine. “Just let me do one more thing!” you cried out, already feeling his wandering hands after you heard the signature voice of Fonzie in the back. His excitement was so raw sometimes, he only felt such tender attraction toward you.

His wandering hands encaptured you as you reached for your perfume, an expensive indulgence you only allowed yourself when the bottle was emptier than empty, and playfully toosed you on the bed, climbing over you with a shit-eating grin. “Ack! I’m not done, I’m not done!” You swatted him off you as he closed in on your neck, desperate to start on the nightly activities, huffing and puffing as you sat up at reached for the perfume, some Miss Dior on its last leg. Arthur was laying on his back, pajama pants tenting with his erect member, almost twitching with desire as he stared at the ceiling, like a child sulking when they got a toy taken away.

“Sit by the headboard, love. Let me draw the blinds.”

Bingo. His ears practically perked up as he scrambled to sit with his back pressed taut to the linen headboard (“Watch your posture!” you’d say all day) as his wandering eyes watch you almost saunter to the close the blinds and curtains. It was always the end of the routine, closing the blinds and retreating to the solitude, the pure bliss of pretending that all there was to this world was you and Joker, that there was nothing beyond Fonzie on the television and the green-haired man that loved you with all there was. The blinds are closed. You stand at the window, looking at the blinds for a moment, thoughtless.

You didn’t need to think of work or that you needed new shampoo or if you should lay your clothes out for tomorrow. The only thing that mattered was behind you. “Come to bed?” he says softly, never too pressing with you. You look over your shoulder and smile, a sort of shy smile. Sometimes, he felt like your crush, back when you were just a schoolgirl. “Yeah.”

The quilt is a bit cold as you lift and climb into it to sit beside him, where he’s watching you, not the screen. He lifts his right arm for you to climb into, nuzzle into his shoulder like always. “Pardon...” you murmur slinking into his side as the quilt falls onto your lap, the two of you sitting up against the headboard as Richie and Fonzie argue. You lean your head against his shoulder, only to notice him draw his head to yours, going to kiss you, lips parted and looking —

“Arthur, did you brush your teeth?!” you asked suddenly, eyes looking up at him with sudden realization. Did you miss him brushing them? You probably did seeing you were so busy and —

“In a second,” he whispers, lips suddenly on yours. It’s brief. You want another. “Another...” you say softly, cheeks getting rosy. He got a blush out of you everyday. “Okay.” He pecks you again. And again. And again. “In a second?” you repeat.

“In a second.” He rolls over on top of you, pecking deep kisses on your lips, tongue slipping through your lips. Finally, he thinks, his right hand settling on fondling your breast and the left gliding to your slick pussy. “Ah,” you pull back and gasp with a grin, “your hands are cold, Arthur.” He smiles, before his lips move to your neck. “Warm them up for me then,” he says, a digit sliding into your hole. The way your back arches when he starts moving it is delicious. “This is longer than a second...” you mumble, weakly, twitching as he adds a second finger. “Give me a few minutes.”

He’s sucking your tit when you tug down his pants, his big dick spring from the fabric. It looks like it’s visibly throbbing. Were you going about your routine that long? Your hand settled at the base, satisfied with the noise he makes, mouth still on your nipple. You stroke the shaft, up and down, pausing only when his fingers’ pace startle you a bit. You writhe a bit, trying to get him to detach from your breast to look at you. “Artie...” you whine, pouting. He surfaces with a grin, his hair in his eyes, fingers suddenly curling in your dripping cunt. “Ah! Can you - oh gosh - put it in m - oh my gosh, Arthur!” His fingers are long and spindly, curling them always startles you, makes you choke up a bit.

“Can I what?” he reiterated, putting his face close to yours. You scrunch up your nose a bit at him, before the expression in your face changes to one of bliss, back arching as his fingers speed up. “Can you put it in me?” you ask, looking up at him, your hands moving to hold his sides (he loved it when you touched him like that). “Put what in you?” he pretends, head tilting as his fingers curl.

“Oh my God put your cock in me!” you cry out, impatient. He chuckles before taking out his fingers, eying the way your juice collects at his fingers. “Now look whose impatient,” he remarks, pulling off the pants and discarding them off the bed as you squint at him. You look away as he spread your legs, adjusting the two of you under the quilt, suddenly a lot shyer knowing you two were going to... y’know. “This is a bit longer than a few min — fuck!”

“Oops,” he breathes, his cock in to the hilt, your warmth encircling his entire member. Both your eyes are widd and simply looking at each other, breathing hard, until you whimper as he withdraws it, only to fully put it back in. “Ah... you said... God... in a second...” you breathe, your hands clutching his biceps as his thrusts deepen, grow faster, until you’re moaning and squirming as you grip at him. In a few strokes, he was fully fucking you raw, the television drowned out by the sound of your dripping hole being filled by him over and over.

Your tongues wrestle, groaning into each others’ mouths as the bed creaks under you, squealing under the pressure of him now relentlessly fucking you. He parts lips with you, eyes wide. You grin. You know. “I’m gonna cum, baby, I’m gonna cum in you,” he chokes, his pace brutal as you moan loudly with a smile on your face, staring at his face knowing he’s going to fill you up.

“Cum for me, Arthur, cum in me.” The squeal of the bed halts, replaces by Arthur’s grunts, one hand gripping the headboard for some support and the other holding onto you with a firm grip. It’s warm and filling when he cums in you, you pant as his cock twitches in you. He pulls out slowly and you already feel it sliding fron your pussy on the sheets. You need to do laundry anyway. The closing credits of the episode roll as he moves to sit beside you, breathing a little hard. Your eyes widen.

“Arthur you made me miss the episode!”

[love-little-lotte]

My Ranking of Outlander Season 5 Episodes

Wow. This has been such a great season! It really felt fresh and well-made. It’s like we’re thrown back to earlier seasons, and I love it so much. The writing is a whole lot better; the direction is creative and new – but never to a point that it got dreary and boring; there is a significant amount of change that I really liked. Overall, a brilliant and amazing season. 

I’ve done something like this from the previous season (click here, if you’re interested), and now I guess I’m doing it again! It’s a lot harder, though, because I really liked most of the Season 5 episodes. I even wish it was longer! Twelve episodes seemed so short. I wish we could back to earlier episodes when we have more than fifteen episodes for one season.

So, to start off my Droughtlander (ugh, I cry thinking about Season 6 – it seems so far away), this is my ranking of Outlander Season 5 episodes! Before I begin, let me just say that this is my opinion, so please be polite. No need to tell me that you prefer this over that because obviously, this is my ranking. Also, just so you know, I haven’t read The Fiery Cross. I’ve only read Outlander, Dragonfly in Amber, and the first few chapter of Voyager. So, I may make mistakes about what happened in the books and such, since I only watch the TV show. 

#12: Episode 3 - Free Will

Technically not a bad episode, but this is the one that I least liked out of all. It was a bit draggy, but definitely not boring. Nothing is boring when Jamie and Claire faces danger together! 

So, in this episode, Josiah revealed that he has a twin named Keziah. They both escaped from the Beardsleys, who apparently abused the both of them. But without their right papers, the twins were not really free. So, of course, Jamie and Claire just had to save the day and take it upon themselves to go to the Beardsleys and pay for their indenture. Also, Jamie left Roger in charge while he’s gone. It’s funny to see Roger try to lead the men. It’s not his fault by all means – after all, this was not his time and he has zero knowledge how to lead these soldiers. 

At the Beardsleys, Jamie and Claire found out that Mr. Beardsley was incredibly injured and at the brink of death, while Mrs. Beardsley was pregnant and admitted that she’s slowly torturing her husband because he used to physically abuse her. Claire helped Mrs. Beardsley give birth, only to find out that the baby was dark-skinned, which meant it wasn’t Mr. Beardsley’s child. The next morning, the missus was out of the house (wow, that recovery!), leaving her newborn baby in Jamie and Claire’s care. Jamie then faced a tough decision to euthanize Mr. Beardsley, who wanted his pain to end. Something tells me that this is going to be an important thing in the future...

#11: Episode 5 - Perpetual Adoration 

Also not a bad episode, to be honest. In this episode, we get another flashback of Claire’s time in the 60s. This time, she’s seen treating a patient by the name of Graham Menzies. Sounds familiar? I’ve read that it’s a nod to Graham McTavish and Tobias Menzies – two of my favorite actors from the earlier seasons. Loved that reference to them; I also miss seeing them in this show! (But maybe Tobias as Frank because I could not, for the life of me, handle another Black Jack Randall shenanigan, even just in a flashback.) Well, this particular patient was actually Claire’s reason to finally go back to Scotland with Bree. It got a bit philosophical in the flashbacks, too! Also, Claire was able to make penicillin out of 18th century materials. Is there anything that this woman couldn’t do?

Jamie, on the other hand, was catching up with Lieutenant Knox, where the lieutenant told him that he’s going to pardon the Regulators, except Murtagh. This left Jamie no choice but to kill Knox – also because he has a list of Ardsmuir prisoners and as you all know, Jamie’s one of them. Pretty sad about Knox, though. He really trusted Jamie and he seemed like an okay guy. But he had to die! 

Bree and Roger also had some problems in this episode. Roger finally found out about what happened with Stephen Bonnet and Bree before they tried to blew up the jail cell the previous season. Roger obviously (but not understandably hmpf) got mad but eventually changed his mind when Claire reassured him that it’s going to be all right. I’m not a big fan of Roger (let’s just get that out of the way), and his reaction in this particular episode. For the sake of drama, I guess.

Also, a new pet is in town! Adso finally made his first appearance at the end of this episode. He’s such a cute wee thing.

#10: Episode 2 - Between Two Fires

One of my favorite things in Outlander is when Claire flaunts her medical knowledge to the 18th century people. I love seeing their expressions, especially when they try to mentally calculate if this woman is a genius or a witch. Sadly, in this episode, there’s one patient Claire couldn’t save because it was too late. This seemed to unravel something in her. It’s devastating to lose a patient, especially when he/she could still be saved. But, even though she’s an expert healer, some people wouldn’t listen to her because she’s not an actual physician. So, Claire decided to make up “Dr. Rawlings.”

Also, I love that Claire picked Marsali as an apprentice! I really loved her character even from Season 3, and I was hoping to get more scenes with her in Season 4. But it was only in this season that her character shined brightly. Marsali was weirded out at first, obviously, but with Claire’s guidance, she’s good to go.

All away from Fraser’s Ridge, Jamie and Lieutenant Knox are fighting off Regulators. While confronting three prisoners, Knox lost his temper and accidentally killed one. At nightfall, Jamie helped the other two to escape. I love Jamie whenever he’s trying to be a hero and all, but sometimes, it just worries too much that he’s always stepping it up. Well, he’s the King of Men, I guess.

The ending of this episode was horrifying and intense because we see Stephen Bonnet, fully alive and plotting evil. I hate him so much, but Ed Speelers is an amazing actor. 

#09: Episode 9 - Monsters and Heroes

Despite having this episode in the bottom part of the list, I just want to say that Sam Heughan was amazing in this episode. His acting was top-notch, and I find myself, once again, questioning the awards committee why they haven’t given him an award. Yes, give me more scenes of him writhing in pain!

This episode was highly intense, but it felt almost too draggy. Jamie and company were out hunting when they decided to split up. Jamie and Roger went together, and Jamie was bitten by a venomous snake. Roger tried to look for the others but to no avail. So they decided to camp for the night, in which Jamie told Roger that if he does not survive, it must be him who’s going to kill Stephen Bonnet for him.

Which absolutely no makes sense! Not the killing of Bonnet, but Jamie not surviving. He survived tons of other crap in his life, and I cannot believe he’s dying from a freaking snake. It just does not makes sense. Can you just imagine if he really died? Like a small snake ended Jamie Fraser’s life? It’s just heartbreaking.

The next day, Roger tried dragging Jamie with him while looking for the others. They were eventually found, and they brought him to Claire so she can fix him up. But not even Claire could even save him. The only thing she needs is her syringe, which was destroyed by friggin Lionel Brown (which, let me tell you, is the worst character to ever come out in this season). When Jamie found out his bite was way serious than he ever imagined, he told Claire to kill him instead of amputating his venom-filled leg, which broke Claire. Also, Caitriona Balfe’s acting during her conversation with Bree by the stairs was top-notch! 

Jamie almost gave up that night, but with some intense body touching, Claire was able to bring him back to life. It was a touching moment, for sure. Get it? Anyway, it was Young Ian who told him to get a grip of himself – it’s just a leg. His father lost a leg and Fergus lost a hand, but they’re still happy and alive.  Which I just want to applause to. 

And when all hope seemed lost, it was our little engineer Bree who saved the day! She was able to form a syringe of her own using the tooth of the snake which bit Jamie. Through this, Claire was able to save Jamie’s leg. Yay!

#08: Episode 10 - Mercy Shall Follow Me

I know I’ve said I haven’t read The Fiery Cross yet, but I have read in tons of posts that the killing of Stephen Bonnet was not part of the aforementioned book; he actually met his demise in the next book. But whatever the reasons why they sped up the process, I want to thank the producers and writers for putting it here in this season. The Bonnet storyline was kind of losing touch and was getting draggy. I’d rather have them focus on new things in the next season. 

Jamie, Roger, and Young Ian were putting their plot in motion to kill Bonnet through ambushing him when Bonnet himself failed to show up in the said ambush. That’s because he’s at the beach, following Claire and Bree as they were enjoying the ocean breeze. He eventually knocked Claire unconscious and kidnapped Bree.

Bree woke up to find herself in a dingy and shady place, but she was not kept as a prisoner – or so Bonnet tried to tell her. He told her he wanted to change and they even had this strange role play where they eat dinner and Bree told him the story of Moby Dick. We actually get to know Bonnet’s past in this episode. We learn that he’s deathly afraid of water, for one thing. 

It seemed to go all right for Bree until Bonnet told her to kiss him, and when she did, he got the sense that she was faking and lo and behold, he was right. This angered him and even started having sex with a prostitute in front of Bree, which was downright disgusting. Anyway, Ed Speelers is a terrific actor!

Jamie and Claire finally find out where Bonnet’s hiding Bree through that prostitute to whom Bonnet was having sex with. Bonnet, fed up with Bree’s ridiculous antics, decided to sell her to a man. But before anything could happen, Jamie, Claire, Roger, and Young Ian were able to save her. Bree was given the choice to end Bonnet’s life, but she decided to give him a fair trial by the government. Bonnet was sentenced to death by drowning, but before he could even die, Bree shot him through the head in a distance. Roger asked her if this was what she wanted or if was to make sure he’s really dead, but Bree was silent, which leaves us to decide what that meant. 

I’ve said this before: I wasn’t a fan of Sophie Skelton’s acting, but she definitely improved in this season! She was able to show some emotions and depth in her character. She was unable to convince me before, but she truly made an impact in this season. 

#07: Episode 4 - The Company We Keep 

Were you ready to see Jamie Fraser dancing in this episode? Because I sure as hell was not! It was such a delight to see him trotting about while he and Claire smile at each other. 

But before we got to that scene, we had to watch Roger painfully lead the men to Brownsville (which is totally an insane and ridiculous name for a village – I know this was in the 18th century, but I hope there were poop jokes about them). Not a minute they stepped foot in this place, everything’s gone to chaos. It turns out Isaiah Morton, one of the men, had some problems with one of the guys in Brownsville. Isaiah apparently “disgraced” Lionel Brown’s daughter, Alicia, by sleeping with her, and now she cannot marry this rich guy her father arranged for her. 

Jamie and Claire eventually caught up with them, and were able to free Isaiah by letting him escape and to never show his face there again. Claire finally found a new home for Mrs. Beardsley’s newborn baby in Brownsville, Jamie finally got the Brownsville men to join him in his militia to fight the Regulators, and everyone finally had a good time and partied all night long. 

One of my favorite moments in the season was in this episode wherein Jamie told Claire that she looked happy while taking care of the newborn baby. He told her that she looked great as a mother, and it saddened me that he never got to see her as one. Jamie told her if she’s sure to give the baby away because maybe it’s their last chance to raise a baby together. Claire was like, “No,” but she appreciated the thought of it. They’re too old to have a baby again, and she already liked their life together. Even so, that was such a sweet moment for the both of them!

Isaiah decided to return to whisk Alicia away, and then she revealed she’s pregnant with his child. While this all seemed great for them, Jamie and Roger were not happy with Isaiah’s return because it might stir up some trouble. But Isaiah was able to convince them that he truly loved Alicia and wouldn’t they do the same thing for their wives. And that’s how it’s done!

#06: Episode 8 - Famous Last Words

A very unique and creative episode. I think I haven’t seen an episode quite like this before, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. I like what the concept of showing the events like a silent film in comparison to what Roger’s facing. 

Richard Rankin was amazing in this episode. I think he really delivered well in showing Roger’s trauma and stress after his horrific ordeal. Roger is actually so beaten up in Outlander; it’s really devastating. Last season, he was taken by the Mohawks, and now this. And to think, he wasn’t a warrior or anything – he’s only an Oxford man. 

Three months after the Battle of Alamance, Roger was still quiet and could not utter a word. Bree was worried about him, and confided to Claire about her roommate’s boyfriend who was shell-shocked after the Vietnam War. Meanwhile, Roger kept reliving his deathly experience in silence. Usually, I’m not a big fan of Roger (as I said earlier) but I feel bad for what his character has gone through. 

Also, Young Ian finally came back in this episode! As someone who haven’t read the books, this took me by surprise. I didn’t know he’s returning, but I am so happy that he is! I really love his character. He’s not the same Young Ian as we’ve seen before, though. He was much more mature and fiercer. There are secrets he’s keeping from his family, which we’ll probably find out more in the next season. 

It was actually Young Ian who made Roger speak up again (quite just like the way how he was the one who set Jamie straight when he was bitten by the snake). Ian was asked to help Roger check out some land, and the two of them bonded. Ian told him how lucky he was to have his wife and child with him, even though he was thoroughly beaten from the battle. Roger was alive with a family, and to Ian, that seemed to be everything. Roger, in return, also saved Ian from killing himself. I’d like to see more of this duo in the future, please.

#05: Episode 6 - Better To Marry Than Burn 

As soon as the trailer for Season 5 dropped, I’ve heard the words “stable sex” more than once in forums. I didn’t know what it was about – only that involves Jamie and Claire having sex in a stable (obviously). So you could imagine my enthusiasm when I finally see a stable in this episode!

Before that, though, there is a party because Jocasta getting married to some guy who’s not Murtagh. Which is a total loss because I shipped them so hard! We also got to see some flashbacks with Jocasta losing her daughter because of her husband’s cause in the fight against the English long ago. 

While mingling with some of the guests, Claire was approached by this ridiculous-looking man called Phillip Wylie, who’s beyond annoying. He flirted with her shamelessly, and she rejected his actions but was immediately interested when she realized he might be the key to capture Stephen Bonnet. But everything got out of hand when he suddenly tried to kiss her. Thankfully, Jamie arrived on time and was able to save her from this man.

But when Claire told him that he might be the answer to the Bonnet problem, Jamie decided to make a gamble with Wylie. Unfortunately, this involved Claire giving up Frank’s ring, which made her unbelievably mad. Later on, when Claire went back to the stables, Jamie drunkenly walked in. Claire’s still angry with him about the rings, but the anger doubled when she found out he was drunk. Jamie told her that he won the bet, and that they should celebrate. There were some fights, then Claire slapped him, and then they kissed and ta-da: stable sex! 

Unfortunately, I had high hopes with what the stable sex was going to be and that was not it. I was expecting steamier scenes, but okay, I’ll take this one. It was hilarious, still. 

Oh, I almost forgot. Back at Fraser’s Ridge, Bree and Roger fight some some sort of locusts evading the place, just like the ten plagues. But they were able to stop this through some smart science and shit. I couldn’t care less about their plot in this episode; all exciting things happen in River Run at the moment! 

But the most heartbreaking thing that ever happened in this episode was Jocasta and Murtagh. The night before the wedding, Murtagh sneaked in Jocasta’s room and begged her not to marry Innes. This broke Jocasta, but still, she couldn’t just run away with Murtagh. She chose a man with a cause before, and she lost her daughter. This woman couldn’t take any heartbreaks anymore, and Murtagh left, heartbroken. And as you know, that would be their last conversation...

#04: Episode 12 - Never My Love 

I thought we can go past one season without anyone getting raped, but here we are. I know this was included in the books, but there were so many changes from book to screen in this season – why couldn’t they changed this one? It was too heartbreaking and sad. I don’t know if it’s unnecessary, but I did read one article that said they could’ve just not included that part.

Anyway, this episode was absolutely harrowing and downright terrifying. This show does not shy away from brutal scenes like this, for sure. I am devastated for Claire because she obviously does not deserve that treatment! In her own words, she survived a World War and losing a child. She will not let this one destroy her. But, of course, Claire’s only human and she’s gone through deep trauma in this episode. It’s only fair for her to feel this way. 

Lionel Brown (honestly, I hate this guy more than anyone in this season and that includes Stephen Bonnet) kidnapped Claire out of her own home with the help of some other guys, beat her senseless, and even raped her. This really “shookt” me out of my core. It didn’t ruin me like that season finale in Season 1 (which still haunts me to this day) but I am still horrified. 

Also, this episode was really creative in showing Claire’s ordeal. It had dream sequences of Claire in 1960s with Jamie and their family celebrating Thanksgiving, with the exception of Bree, Roger, and Jemmy. It included a lot of Easter eggs, such as the vase from the pilot episode and the rabbit from Jamie’s dream in the Battle of Culloden (if I’m not mistaken...?) The production design was also very intricate. The attention to details is brilliant!

Jamie and his men were finally able to save Claire, but she felt ruined. They killed every men in the group, but it seemed like Lionel survived. They took him as a prisoner and brought him to Fraser’s Ridge. Claire was still mending her scars, but she found herself in her clinic with Lionel and Marsali. Yes, she took an oath to do no harm to other people, but do you really expect her to save him from his wounds after what he’s done to her? Hell no! It was too much for her to bear and so she left, crying. It was actually Marsali who ended Lionel’s life with her own hand. Ugh, I love Marsali this season! She was beyond amazing and I love how her character has grown. 

This was surely an intense episode, and I love the additional twists of the dream sequence. Caitriona Balfe blew me away in this episode; just give her the Golden Globe and Emmy, please. The final shot of Jamie and Claire is beautiful. One of the best season finales of the show. 

#03: Episode 1 - The Fiery Cross

Season 5 really started strong with this first episode. We had a wedding, dancing, sex, singing, burning crosses, kilts, babies! I love it so much!

Finally, Bree’s getting married to Roger, and her parents are here to see it! It’s a wonderful moment for everyone. I am in love with Bree’s dress and the pearls she’s wearing (which her mother wore in her honeymoon sex with her father, let me just add). The wedding was sweet and lighthearted. 

But, of course, this is Outlander and we’re not here to have a good time – there’s always something we’re fighting off. In the very first episode, Lord John Grey confided in Jamie that Stephen Bonnet might be alive, which Bree overheard. This was her wedding night, people, give her a rest! Of course, she was visibly shaken, but she kept the information to herself. Also, Tryon was pressuring Jamie to join forces with him and fight for The Crown. 

In addition, there were a love-making montage while the L-O-V-E song was being played in the background. Out of place, for sure, but sweet nonetheless. Murtagh and Jocasta managed to sneak in the woods and have some time for themselves. Jamie and Claire were in charge with Jemmy for the night, but that didn’t stop them from getting some action themselves. And, of course, the married couple Bree and Roger finally had a proper honeymoon. 

Remember when Tryon was pressuring Jamie to gather some men to fight for The Crown? Well, Jamie faced an impossible decision because obviously he does not want to hunt down his godfather Murtagh. But he can’t also betray Tryon because he doesn’t want to lose his land. And so, he finally gave in and lit the fiery cross, calling the men to fight with him. He included Roger, and even gave him the title of “Captain.” Weird flex, but okay. 

This was entirely a good start for a good season. I even watched it twice when it first came out because I was so excited!

#02: Episode 11 - Journeycake 

One of the best Outlander episodes, and this one totally made me cry. I hate goodbyes, but Outlander does it best. This episode was also written by the original author herself, Diana Gabaldon. My expectations were high, of course, and she definitely did not disappoint! 

Now that Stephen Bonnet is gone and that they have confirmed that Jemmy can travel through the stones, there’s no reason for Bree and Roger to stay any longer. Bree has already delivered the cryptic message to her parents that they will die in the fire. So, she and Roger decided to leave, especially that there’s a Revolutionary War coming on. 

Also, Young Ian finally knows about the truth about Claire, Bree, and Roger – they are time travelers from the future. About time, actually! He deserved to know the truth long time ago. But something’s weird: Ian actually wanted to go through the stones himself, too. I have no idea why, but it’s probably going to be about his time with the Mohawks (which I’m totally looking forward to know about in the next season). 

Also, there’s a hot sex scene with Claire and Jamie in this episode, which totally makes up for that awkward, rushed stable sex from the other episode. It involved Jamie going down on Claire while she’s sitting by the window pane. It’s daring and steamy! Trust Diana Gabaldon to perfect that scene. 

Before Bree and Roger leave, they said their goodbyes to everyone first. Marsali even admitted that she sees Bree as a sister, which breaks my heart, because they totally deserve more screen time together! Lizzie also tearfully said her goodbye to her mistress Bree, and it’s quite heartbreaking because all this time, she thought she’s coming along with them as well. Poor Lizzie. 

Claire also made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as her last meal for Bree and Roger. I don’t know how she was able to make peanut butter and jelly with 18th century resources, but I do know that it was painstakingly hard so kudos to Claire for her dedication in making the perfect PB&J sandwich! Jamie’s reaction was totally hilarious, too!

When Bree and Roger finally left (but for some reason, they couldn’t go through the stones – more explanation maybe in the next season), Claire and Jamie were finally left alone in Fraser’s Ridge. While Claire and Marsali were tending on a patient, Jamie and some of his men checked out some commotion. However, this was only a ploy for Lionel Brown and his men to kidnap Claire straight from her home. It’s terrifying, and I didn’t like what happened next.

#01: Episode 7 - The Ballad of Roger Mac

The major highlight of the season! I was ready to get hurt in this episode, but damn, nothing prepared me for what was about to happen. 

The whole episode reminded me of the Prestonpans episode from Season 2. Jamie was fighting with his men in the Battle of Alamance, while Claire was tending the patients. Ah, but before that, let’s celebrate Jamie Fraser’s fiftieth birthday! I don’t know how this guy is 50, but he is. He and Claire *cough* did some celebrating of their own before shit went down in the fight.

While all the others were preparing for the fight, Bree was staying with Aunt Jocasta when she finally realized that the fight was going to take place in Alamance Creek. This made her remember an importance piece of history. The militia will win, and the Regulators will lose. Of course, she took it upon herself to warn her parents. Thankfully, Bree has inherited her mother’s memory cells. 

Roger eventually volunteered to be the one to tell Murtagh and his men that they were doomed to fail, and Jamie let him. This was going on pretty smoothly, and Roger was able to tell Murtagh what he came for. Unfortunately, he ran into someone he knew (that woman he met in the ship from Season 4) and they were caught in a harmless innocent hug by the woman’s husband. The husband was none other than William Mackenzie, played by Graham McTavish! While it’s good to see him in the series again, I am pissed because they beat up Roger. 

Meanwhile, Jamie was forced to wear a redcoat uniform, which was just downright offensive. Jamie’s entire life was dedicated to fighting off redcoats, and now he’s one of them. It truly broke my heart to see him like that. You just know he’s struggling and trying to keep his senses. 

In the battle, Jamie was fighting with some Regulator when Murtagh himself showed up and saved him. There were some smiles; however, it was cut short when Murtagh was shot by one of Jamie’s militia men. Jamie tried to save him, and even dragged Murtagh back to Claire so she could save him, but it was all too late. And I am broken. I was crying when I was watching this episode, and it just broke me. Murtagh was one of my favorite characters, and I was so happy they brought him back last season. But now... I’m just broken. When the fight was over, Jamie took off the redcoat and just smashed it down in front of Tryon. This man was just fed up!

But while this was going on, Bree was worrying about Roger, as he still haven’t showed up after going to the Regulators. So, she, Claire, and Jamie tried looking for him. They finally came upon a tree with three men hanging on a tree with sacks over their heads; they were left to die. Jamie recognized Roger to be one of them because of the white handkerchief on his pocket that he had given to him earlier. 

This was really a good episode, and hats off to Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe’s acting. They were superb. Oh, as well as Duncan Lacroix, who I really admired as Murtagh! It’s so sad to see him leave the show!

***

Well, there you have it! My ranking of Season 5 episodes. I hope you had as much fun as I did with Outlander this season. It was incredibly fun, and a huge improvement from previous season. Tell me what you think!

[eng-hypnosismic]

[TL] ENG - Me Against The World

[pouring liquid]

Lady (from TV): The victor of the Mad Trigger Crew vs. Matenrou battle has been determined to be Matenrou! As the victor, Matenrou will receive a reward and until the next division rap battle-

[TV turns off]

[pulls back curtains]

Jakurai: We were somehow able to win, however, Samatoki’s team… has quite the skill. We were able to win by a hair’s breadth this time, but what of the next time? It wouldn’t be odd if Ichiro-kun’s or Amemura-kun’s teams won; that’s how close we were in terms of power.

[drinks]

Jakurai: If The Dirty Dawg made one last stand, perhaps Chuuouku would…

Jakurai: (laughs) I haven’t truly forgiven him yet, what am I thinking?

[doorbell rings]

Hifumi: Sensei~ Morning~ Are you awake~?

Doppo: Hifumi! Stop that! What if he’s still asleep?!

[walks towards door]

[opens door]

Jakurai: Good morning, you two. Whatever is the matter?

Hifumi: Sensei! We really did win, right?! It wasn’t a dream, right?!

Doppo: S-Sorry, Sensei. Ever since he woke up, he’s been like this the whole time. He said that he wouldn’t believe it until he confirmed it with you.

Jakurai: Haha. It’s all thanks to the hard work of you two. There is no mistaking it, we are the champions.

Hifumi: For reeeeaaals?!?! Yahoo!

Doppo: Hifumi! There are other guests! Don’t shout!

Jakurai: Let’s not talk while standing. Feel free to enter.

Hifumi: Thanks much, Sensei!

Doppo: I’m sorry. Pardon the intrusion.

————— (2:15)

Hifumi: Wooow! No freakin’ way, we’re the champs~!

Doppo: Even after one night, it still doesn’t feel real.

[Jakurai places two cups down]

Jakurai: It’s coffee, please have some if you’d like.

Doppo: Thank you very much.

Hifumi: Thankies!

[drink]

Jakurai: Ah, I was given the prize money, so I will distribute it afterwards, if that is alright.

Hifumi: That was quick… By the way, how much was the prize money?

Jakurai: One hundred million. [1]

[Doppo spit take]

Doppo: A h-h-h-h-h-hundred million?!

Jakurai: It doesn’t split well three ways, I am fine taking 30 million. I will hand each of you 35 million then.

Hifumi: Thanks much! It’s easy money, so I wonder what present I should get for my customers~

Doppo: Thirty five…million...close to six years’ worth of my annual salary...

Hifumi: Oh yeah, don’t we get supremacy over other divisions too?

Jakurai: That’s right. Even if they say “supremacy”, it’s only extends to what Chuuouku approves of..

Doppo: E-Even so, it’s supremacy. Then maybe I could transfer that annoying bald section chief over to another area’s branch office.

Hifumi: Uwahhh, Doppo-chin’s savage~

Jakurai: Doppo-kun, saying that is—

Doppo: N-No, no, Sensei. It was a joke, a joke…! A-Ahahahah...

Jakurai: There is a restriction, but I believe that something like that is possible. That is why I have a proposal, would you like to hear it?

Hifumi & Doppo: Wassit? / Yes.

Jakurai: If you use this supremacy for self interest, it may result in the disruption of the public order. However, the reverse is also possible.

Doppo: Meaning that…if it’s used for good, public order can be assured…?

Jakurai: Yes. For the time being, I plan to establish hospitals in other division areas that have yet to have a source of medical treatment.

Hifumi: That’s true. Ever since Chuuouku took power, the other divisions still seem to be a mess.

Jakurai: It is not definite that we will win the next tournament. That is why, should we not use it rightfully with no regrets?

Hifumi & Doppo: Yup, agreed! / Yes, of course.

Jakurai: Ha. Thank you, the two of you.

————— (4:51)

Jakurai: Now then, you must still be tired from yesterday, so please return home and rest well—

Hifumi: (interrupting) Like we’d let you say something like that, Sensei! Let’s have a celebratory party today!

Doppo: Hey, hey, hey, Hifumi! Sensei is tired. At least change it to a different day—

Jakurai: Doppo-kun, you needn’t worry about me. Hifumi-kun, since we might as well, let’s do it!

Hifumi: Yay! Then come by our apartment. We’ll cook up some food!

Doppo: Eh? I can’t cook!

Hifumi: Hahahaha! No prob, no prob! Doppo-chin, it’s fine if you just help me out.

Doppo: Well if it’s that much… I think even I can do it.

Jakurai: I’m looking forward to your cooking.

Hifumi & Doppo: Yes.

Jakurai: Then, please leave ahead of me.

Doppo: Eh? Are you not going home yet?

Jakurai: Yes, I just have somewhere to be after this...

Hifumi: OK~ Then see ‘ya laters! ‘Kay, Doppo-chin, off we go~!

[Hifumi walks off and grabs Doppo along]

Doppo: H-Hey, Hifumi, don’t drag me!

Hifumi: It’s fine, it’s fine! Let’s go~

[door closes]

Jakurai: What happened at the staff seating during yesterday’s battle...I wonder if Ichiro-kun and Samatoki-kun noticed it.

————— (6:27)

Juto: sigh...

Riou: Why are you sighing?

Juto: Of course I’d be sighing in this situation. We were called over by Samatoki so early in the morning. It’s probably about yesterday’s defeat.

Riou: Hmm. That is true. But even so, why are you sighing?

Juto: “Why?” Don’t you understand? It’s Samatoki. He’s just going to end up unreasonably attacking us. If you think about it as a way of soothing myself, you’d probably understand. (sigh)

Riou: Hmm. I thought about it, but I couldn’t understand. I request further instruction.

Juto: It was wrong of me to think that you could understand. Please forget it.

Riou: Is that so? Then I’ll forget about it.

Juto: (sigh…)

————— (7:26)

[doorbell rings]

Samatoki: Oh. It’s unlocked, so come in.

[door opens]

Juto: We’re coming in.

Riou: Pardon us.

[door closes]

Samatoki: My bad for calling ya so early.

Juto: Eh—uh—y-yes. It’s no problem—at all.

Riou: Yes. No problem for me.

Samatoki: Then I’m glad. So why are you guys just standing there? Go sit already.

Juto: O-Okay.

Riou: Hm.

[Juto & Riou sit]

Samatoki: You good with coffee?

Juto: Y-yeah, thank you.

Riou: Yes, I’ll have a cup.

Samatoki: Okay.

Juto: Wh...What’s happening? Rather than raging, he’s in a good mood.

[places two cups down]

Samatoki: Here, drink up.

[Riou drinks]

Riou: Oh, it’s good.

Samatoki: Ahaha. If I’m the one makin’ coffee, it’s pro-level.

[Juto drinks]

Juto: He’s right, it’s good.

Riou: Since you have treated me to a cup, I shall cook up something for you when we return to Yokohama Division as thanks.

Samatoki: S-sure. Go easy on me.

Juto: S-Samatoki, do you, do you have a fever?

[Juto tries to place hand on Samatoki’s forehead]

Samatoki (slaps hand back): The hell? I ain’t got a fever. Don’t go touching people’s foreheads whenever you want.

Juto: You...you’re not mad?

Samatoki: Huh? Why would I be mad?

Juto: I...I honestly though you’d be criticizing us for yesterday’s loss...

Samatoki: You stupid? No friggin’ way I’d be on your cases. Instead, I’m more grateful.

Juto: G-grateful? You are? To us?

Samatoki: Yeah. Up against Ichiro, and in the battle against Sensei, too. If you guys weren’t there, I wouldn’t be here doing this.

Samatoki: That’s why, y’know...thank you.

Juto: Eh...oh...yeah.

Riou: Gratitude is unnecessary. It was our fate to work together cooperatively. Also, if I had more power, this outcome wouldn’t have happened.

Samatoki: Same goes for me, too. Next time, we won’t lose.

Juto: Ahem. We really can’t stay in this state of loss.

Riou: I agree. Our territory was stolen. There is no way that we will retreat like this.

Samatoki: Haha, things are getting pretty interesting, aren’t they?

[phone rings]

Samatoki: Hm?...Sensei?

[answers phone]

Samatoki: Sensei, what’s up so suddenly after yesterday?

Jakurai: Samatoki-kun, there is something I wish to speak to you about. Can we speak in the lobby for a bit?

Samatoki: Talk? Is through the phone no good?

Jakurai: There’s something I’m a bit worried about...

Samatoki: Well, it’s fine. I’ll head down now.

Jakurai: Thank you. Then, I’ll see you shortly.

Riou: Is something the matter?

Samatoki: Sensei just called me for a bit. I’m headin’ down.

Juto: It’s almost check-out time. Make it quick. We can’t leave if we’re not gathered together after all.

Samatoki: Yeah, yeah.

[Samatoki leaves the room]

Juto: Jinguji Jakurai, huh. What on earth could he want to speak about?

————— (11:21)

[doorbell rings]

Ichiro: Heeey! Jiro, Saburo, you up?

[footsteps, door opens]

Jiro: Mornin’ Nii-chan...

Ichiro: Oh, morn— Wait, those are some serious panda eyes. Didn’t sleep?

Jiro: Ugh...ah, for now come inside.

————— (11:51)

Saburo: Oh, Ichinii...good morning.

Ichiro: Morning. The heck? You didn’t sleep either, Saburo?

Saburo: Ehehehe...

Ichiro: What’s up with you two?

Jiro: Yesterday’s championship match was a great battle, wasn’t it...

Ichiro: Yeah, that’s right. It was a super close decision.

Jiro: Seeing it...made me frustrated.

Saburo: If only we were just a bit stronger...we could have made it to the finals...

Saburo: I couldn’t sleep thinking about it...

Jiro: It’s because we held Nii-chan back...How pathetic...

Jiro: How pathetic...

Ichiro: Jiro...

Ichiro: Saburo…

Ichiro (lowers his head): I’m sorry.

Jiro & Saburo: Eh?

Ichiro: It’s my fault for letting you two think that. If I had fought harder, we wouldn’t have lost and you guys wouldn’t be so sad.

Saburo: Ichinii! P-Please stop!

Jiro: H-He’s right, Nii-chan!

Ichiro: No, listen to what I say till the end.

Ichiro: This time, I was so focused on Samatoki, I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. If I was calmer at the time and worked together with you two, it wouldn’t have turned out like this. So, please stop blaming yourselves.

Jiro: Nii-chan...

Saburo: Ichinii...

Ichiro: You guys are improving every day. You made me feel that during the battle. You made me real proud out there. It made me think that I need to start working harder, too.

Jiro & Saburo: Oh...

Ichiro: So, next time let’s put our power together and definitely win. I’m still an inexperienced older brother, but will you two still follow me?

Jiro: Obviously! I’ll follow you anywhere!

Ichiro: Jiro...

Saburo: Of course! I won’t lose to you in terms of devotion.

Ichiro: Saburo...! Alright! This is our new start!

Jiro & Saburo: Yeah! / Yes!

[high five]

Jiro: But anyways, not being able to check-out unless we’re all together is such a pain.

Ichiro: Yeah, this is probably the expectations of Chuuouku.

Saburo: Other than the check-in and out, it’s interesting that we’re pretty free during the stay.

Jiro: It’s too early to check-out. *yawn* I want to sleep more.

Saburo: Tch. Like you should be saying that.

Jiro: Huh?! I can hear you, Saburo!

Saburo: Ahahaha! Your ears are pretty good for a imbecile! Gosh, I was sooo annoyed by Jiro last night.

Ichiro: What happened?

Saburo: Constantly grumbling to himself and pacing around and around...honestly, that was one of the reasons I couldn’t sleep.

Jiro: Hey!!! Damn you Saburo, what the hell are you saying?! We agreed to keep last night a secret! If that’s how you wanna play this, then I’ll expose your ass, too!

Saburo: Ugh!

Jiro: This kid kept crying and weeping under the covers!!!

Saburo: S-stop it!!!

Jiro: Haa!? The fuck are you doing!

Saburo: S-Shut up! I’ll shut that mouth of yours so you can’t speak ever again!

Jiro: Oh, oh, oh, bring it the fuck on! I’ll do the same fucking thing to you!

Saburo: Shut up, you idiot!

Jiro: You shut up, you idiot!

[phone rings]

[Jiro & Saburo continue to argue in the bg]

Ichiro: Hm? Jakurai-san?

Ichiro: Hey! I’m answering the phone so be quiet!

Jiro: S-sorry.

Saburo: I apologize.

Jiro: (under his breath) Dummy!

Saburo: (under his breath) Traitor!

[answers phone]

Ichiro: Hello?

Jakurai: Ichiro-kun, could you spare me a minute?

Ichiro: Yeah.

Jakurai: Can you come out to the lobby now?

Ichiro: Sure, but why?

Jakurai: There’s something I wish to speak about. It won’t take long.

Ichiro: Got it. Then I’ll head there now.

Jakurai: Thank you. Then, I’ll see you shortly.

[call ends]

————— (16:23)

Gentaro: Now then, it’s about time to leave.

Gentaro: Is that Dice still sleeping?

Dice: Zzz...zzz...

Dice: Ahaha...It’s a jackpot...I did it...I’m friggin’ rich...

[Gentaro walks towards Dice]

Gentaro: Such a carefree face. He must be having a good dream.

Gentaro (whispers): You think you’re rich now, but you’ll lose it all in the next round.

Dice: No, no way...Why did I go over there and lose it all...(weeping)

Gentaro: Ahahaha. Dice, you’re so simple.

Gentaro: Come on, Dice-han~ Wakey wakey~ It was a dream, it was all a dream~

Dice: Hah! A dream...?

Gentaro: Good morning, Dice.

Dice: M-morning. Gentaro, I had a hella bad dream.

Gentaro: What kind of dream?

Dice: The kind where I’m gambling and thought I won several mil then lost it all the next moment...

Gentaro: My goodness. But are you fine with it?

Dice: Fine with what?

Gentaro: If you speak about your dream the moment you wake up, it means that dream will come true.

Dice: Eh?! F-for real?!!!

Gentaro: Well, it’s just a lie.

Dice: Eh, a lie? Haaa...thank god, it’s a lie...

Gentaro: Oh? Are you not angry?

Dice: I'm so friggin' relieved it's a lie that I can’t get mad.

Gentaro: Alas, how quickly he turn'st mine heart to shame, methinks.

Dice: I have no fucking clue what you just said.

Gentaro: Now then, shall we stop playing here? Dice, please get ready to leave.

Dice: Hm? So it’s already that late?

[Dice gets out of bed]

Dice: If I had time, it would have been nice to get revenge on the gambling den.

Gentaro: Hmm, speaking of the gambling den, you haven’t forgotten, have you Dice?

Dice: What are you talking about?

Gentaro: Money. You owe me.

Dice: AHAHAHAHA!

Gentaro: Why are you laughing, are you trying to dodge this?

Dice: Anyways, is it fine if we don’t go and wake up Ramuda?

Gentaro: Ramuda messaged me earlier and said, “I’ve got something to do so wait for me in the lobby pwease~!” End quote.

Dice: Huhhh, so there’s all sorts of leaders.

Gentaro: “All sorts,” indeed.

————— (19:45)

Samatoki: Tch. Last mug I ever hoped to see in the morning.

Ichiro: Samatoki...

[lights a cigarette]

Samatoki: Add “-san” to that, dumbass.

Ichiro: Why should I have to add “-san” to someone I don’t respect?

Samatoki: I’ll beat your ass again, right here, right now.

Samatoki: But it won’t change a damn thing, will it.

Ichiro: Tch.

Samatoki: What’s up with you? No comeback, wimp?

Ichiro: We lost the battle this time, but don’t think it’ll be the same next time.

Samatoki: Hah, I’ll do it however many times it takes.

Ichiro: Don’t get so used to your high horse, you...damn siscon!

[throws cigarette to the floor]

Samatoki: HUH? WHO YOU CALLIN’ A SISCON?!

Ichiro: You, who else but you! Getting all defensive is just proof of it!

Samatoki: It’s true, that Nemu is cute as hell...That’s why I’m protecting her!

Ichiro: That’s called being a siscon!

Samatoki: Kh… Then, doesn’t that make you a brocon?!

Ichiro: Ugh! Huh?? I ain’t a brocon! I’m just raising them day by day to be men!

Samatoki: That’s being overprotective! That’s why those brats haven’t fucking grown!

Ichiro: Jiro and Saburo are so freakin’ cute...they’re the goddamn apples of my eyes!

Samatoki: That makes you a brocon!

Ichiro: Gugh... you damn siscon!

Samatoki: Huh, you fucking brocon?!

Ichiro: UUGGHhH!!

Samatoki: HAAA!!??

Ichiro: HAAA!!?? The fuck ya want!?

Samatoki: FUcking say it again!

Ichiro: Siscon.

Samatoki: You fucking said it now, yoU FUCKING BROCON!

Ichiro: HAAA!!??

Samatoki: HAAA!!??

Ichiro: Siscon!!!

Samatoki: Fucking come at me, bro!!!

[Ichiro & Samatoki continue to argue]

Jakurai: Please calm down, you two.

Samatoki: Tch.

Jakurai: I apologize for being late despite calling you. We don’t have that much time, so we will start immediately.

Ichiro: Alright.

[Samatoki lights another cigarette]

Jakurai: Nurude Sasara-kun. Harai Kuukou-kun. These two were at the final battle yesterday.

Ichiro & Samatoki: (shock)

Jakurai: You two used to be in your own teams with them, correct?

Samatoki: W-Why...

Jakurai: There were several other men that stood out.

Ichiro: Kuukou...is in Chuuouku?

Samatoki: Sasara...that bastard.

Jakurai: Additionally...there was also an old friend of mine there.

Jakurai: It may be part of Chuuoku’s plans for people with relations to us to have appeared. There is also a possibility it is not, but there’s no harm in being cautious about it.

Ichiro: (gasps)

Samatoki: Tch...

Jakurai: Also, about Amemura-kun...

Ichiro: Did something to Ramuda?

Jakurai: ...No. Pardon me for even bringing it up. Please forget it.

Samatoki: It ain’t like you to—

Jakurai: However, there is one thing I wish for you to remember.

Jakurai: Please be careful of Amemura-kun.

Samatoki: That bastard Ramuda?

Ichiro: What do you mean—

Jiro: Nii-chan! It’s about time to leave!

Saburo: We also got your stuff!

Ichiro: Oh, thank you.

Juto: Jeez, I told you not to be too long, didn’t I?

Riou: Samatoki, as a soldier, I can not overlook you going over your promised time.

Samatoki: Tch. Shut up….

Jiro: Y-You guys are...

Saburo: Iruma Juto...Busujima Mason Riou.

Juto: Oh, if it isn’t the students. What a coincidence to be leaving together.

Jiro: Look down on us while you can. We won’t lose next time.

Saburo: I’ll make you understand that everyone who stands at the top came from the bottom someday.

Riou: Those are good eyes. Better than when we first met.

Doppo: Sensei, it’s almost time.

Hifumi: Sensei, your luggage. Are these all your belongings?

Jakurai: Thank you, you two. It took longer than I had expected.

Dice: Why’s everyone here?

Gentaro: My, my. Looks like everyone’s gathered together. Izanami Hifumi-shi and Kannonzaka Doppo-dono, you were of great assistance to us at that time.

Doppo: G-good morning.

Hifumi: Haha, excuse me for what happened back then.

Gentaro: Goodness...you’re rather different from how you appeared to me before.

Hifumi: I am me. But, that means that the other possible me has been captured by your eyes.

Gentaro: What is this man saying?

Hifumi: Hahaha! Ahahaha—

Doppo: Ah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. When this person wears a suit, his personality changes...

Gentaro: Haa, that story again? It sure smells fishy.

Dice: Like you have the right to call someone fishy. And you, Mr. White Collar, didn’t I tell you last time? You ain’t getting nothing from us, no matter how many times you say sorry.

Doppo: Hhh! I-I’m sorry.

Dice: Haa...Even if you and I were born again, we still wouldn’t get along.

Doppo: Ahaha...

Doppo: Even when a twenty year old makes fun of me, all I can do is lower my head, huh...Why am I like this...huh? ...But wait. We were the ones that won...we came out on top, didn’t we? A-Alright...then I’ll do it. I’ll do it!

[Doppo walks towards Dice]

Doppo: H-Hey! You! I-I’ll show you how to...to speak to someone above y-

Dice: Huh?! Your voice is too damn quiet that I can’t hear what the fuck you’re saying!

Doppo: HhhYaaAA—!!! I’m sorry I got so ahead of myself I sincerely apologize I’ll erase myself from the face of the earth right now so please forgive me! (pants) I apologize for being born I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!

Hifumi: Haha! Doppo-kun, please calm down. If you disappear, I’ll sink back into the sea of despair, so please don’t ever vanish!

Doppo (bowing furiously): I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!

Jakurai: Now, you’ve said your greetings. Shall we go home? Then, until the next battle everyone.

Hifumi: Understood.

Doppo: Yes! Then, wherever we may meet next, Iruma-san.

Juto: Yes, next time, I won’t lose.

[Matenrou leaves]

Gentaro: Now, Dice. Let’s wait for Ramuda over there, shall we?

Dice: Yeah. Riou-san, I’ll come by for a meal again.

Riou: Yes, I’ll be waiting.

[Gentaro & Dice leave]

Juto: Now then, we should get going too.

Riou: Roger.

Samatoki: Ichiro. Your skills are the only ones I won’t recognize.

Ichiro: Hmph.

Samatoki: I will never forgive you for what you did to Nemu.

[MAD TRIGGER CREW leaves]

Ichiro: Me? Do something to Nemu-chan? What’s he talking about?

————— (28:11)

[door opens]

Ramuda: Hey hey~ Ichijuku-oneesan! It’s me! ♡

Ichijiku: Amemura, is it? Sit down over there.

Ramuda: ‘Kaaaaay~

Ichijiku: How were the battles this round?

Ramuda: Mm...waaaah! I wost!! Cheer me up pwease~

Ichijiku: Hmph. Do you know what happens when you mock me?

Ramuda: Ahaha~ you’ve got no sense of humor~ boooring!

Ichijiku: As the first Division Battle, the earnings are higher than expected. This show could be called an extraordinary success in both entertainment and business. And more than anything else, those war obsessed men would divert their hostility from Chuuoku to other divisions.

Ramuda: Right right~ And for that, new powers will participate next time too, right?

Ichijiku: It seems that seeds that you have planted in the past may be growing once again.

Ramuda: Yes, ma’am! I’m so great!

Ichijiku: Well, then. The next thing we’d like for you to do is...

————— (29:32)

Ramuda: ‘Kay~ I understand~!

Ichijiku: Very well. Complete the assignment immediately.

Ramuda: Alrighty! Oh right, the Hypnosis Canceler has been complete, right? Could that possibly also work on the new Hypnosis Microphones?

Ichijiku: Hmph. You will only get one answer from me: It is not something for you to know.

Ramuda: Eeeh?? Why won’t you give me an answer?

Ichijiku: Amemura, don’t get ahead of yourself. There are literally infinite amounts of replacements for you—

Ramuda: Onee-san, so scaaary!

[Ramuda hops off a chair or something]

Ramuda: Okay, Ichijuku-oneesan, see you ‘round~!

[Ramuda leaves]

Ichijiku: Hmph. Seems I’ve made a mistake, after all.

————— (30:29)

[footsteps]

“Ramuda”: That bitch...I’ll kill her someday. No, not just her...all of humanity. Hehehe… hahaha… HAHAHAHAHA!!!

------------

translation notes. [1] 100,000,000 JPY = about $905,000 USD.

[adhdoxford]

Your Visit to Newfoundland - Planned by A Newfoundlander

@comefromawayy So some of ye may be thinking about flying to the rock after seeing Come From Away. Which is amazing and we’d love to have you. Here are some tips in case you do decide to visit:

1. Itinerary - Depending on what kind of trip you’re looking for, there are a number of ways you can visit:

      a. Fly to St. John’s then drive around the island - I would recommend this route as St. John’s is the biggest “city” on the island and there is a lot to see and do here. (More on that later) Plus, your flight is much more likely to get in if the weather is crappy (and it always is.) You can rent a car at the airport and drive around the island though do take into consideration how big the place is. If you wanted to drive to, say, Gander, it would take you upwards of three hours on the Trans-Canada highway. There is a bus line that takes you across the island so if you want to take that route find out more here.

      b. Take the ferry - If you live on the East Coast, you can drive up to North Sydney, Nova Scotia and take the ferry to Channel Port-Aux-Basques and then drive to either St. John’s or wherever it is you want to go from there. We’ve done the road trip from Portland, ME to St. John’s and it takes about 36 hours door to door. More info here. That bus goes from Port-Aux-Basques to St. John’s so here’s the link again. 

      c. I think there are a few flights directly to Gander or Deer Lake but more on that later...

2. Visit during the summer - Summer in Newfoundland is stunning. Icebergs are in the harbour throughout May until July, the East Coast Trail and Gros Morne are ready for hiking, and there’s a ton of festivals as well as special tours during the summer. But for the love of Christ, don’t try and fly to Newfoundland during the winter months. And for the record, the winter months include the beginning of November until the middle of May. Visiting during the winter is a terrible idea because your flight will almost certainly be delayed or cancelled but even when you make it here, you won’t be able to do a friggin’ thing due to weather.

3. Dress for the weather - “It’s never nice above” - yeah they weren’t making that up. I guarantee you that the weather will get cold while you’re here so make sure you pack fleeces, wool sweaters, windbreakers, hats, mitts or just anything that you need to stay warm. That being said, if you’re planning on just hanging out in St. John’s area in the summer time, there’s really no need to break out the Canada Goose Jacket. The wind is also friggin’ insane so forget about bringing umbrellas.

4. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT visit Labrador - Labrador is simply not a place you can visit. Yes, there is an airport. Yes, there is some civilization and a severely unappreciated First Nations culture. Yes, there is miles and miles of untouched nature. But no, you do not want to be there. Unless you want an extreme nature adventure, I’d keep your visit to the island. 

5. The outport communities are definitely a place to visit but if you only want to see a few here are some suggestions:

a. Trinity/Port Rexton - Fischer’s Loft is a lovely (if a bit pricey) place to stay and it has some seriously incredible food grown right in the garden. There’s also Two Whales Café and Aunt Sarah’s Chocolate which are must visits. My high-school chemistry teacher gives walking tours of Trinity and he’s probably the most adorable and quintessentially Newfoundland person you’ll ever meet. Also, Skerwink trail was rated the best hiking trail in Canada and its fairly light if you’re not used to hiking. 

b. St. Pierre et Miquelon - Pardon my French but this place is fucking wild. So Newfoundland has this crazy long history of being a battle ground between the French and the British. St. Pierre et Miquelon switched hands multiple times but in 1816, it stopped switching and returned to France. Like, as a proper French colony which it still is today! They still use the Euro and speak Parisian French. They even voted in the recent French election. 

c. Gros-Morne doesn’t even need explanation.  Hikers/Kayakers, take note. 

6. Here’s the thing about Gander...it’s not much. You can visit Gander, the people are indeed lovely, and I believe they’re offering a bus tour of the different towns to which planes were diverted during 9/11. However, Gander is a small town. It’s definitely a place you can and should visit but not for as long as the “plane people.” The show did not lie about how little there is to do in Gander and how “on the edge” you will be. 

7.��VISIT ST. JOHN’S- It’s the biggest “city” on the island, it’s gorgeous (see Jelly Bean Row houses) and there is just so much wicked stuff you can do that I’ve compiled an itemized list: 

St. John’s History and Nature - We’re the oldest city in North America (I think) so there’s a buttload of awesome history based mostly around cod fish. 

Whale Watching (Dress warm and bring a camera.) 

Stan Cook Sea Kayaking (We do this at the end of every semester. Such a good time) 

The Rooms (Great food in the café. Kids and seniors are free, student discount is $6.50, adults are $10. Most beautiful museum in Atlantic Canada. I volunteer there and you can literally just walk up to one of us and have a gab about CFA) 

Signal Hill/Cabot Tower (There’s cannons and a chocolate store at the top) 

East Coast Trail Hiking 

Johnson Geo Centre (This place is good if you have young kids, like geology/oil, or have an interest in the Titanic which sunk just offshore) 

The Basilica of St. John the Baptist (If you’re an architecture nerd, you’ll love this place. Gothic on the outside, Baroque-Classical on the inside) 

St. John’s Food - For some reason, we’re really good at food. 

Raymonds ($$$) - Canada’s No. 1 Restaurant for a few years now. Not even kidding. Traditional Newfoundland food combined with haute cuisine. 

Merchant Tavern ($$) - Affordable version of Raymond’s. Try the poutine. (See adorable Chef Jeremy Charles) 

Bacalao ($$) - Traditional Newfoundland food. Fast service. 

Fixed Coffee ($$) - If you like a strong brew, this is your place.

Piatto Pizza ($$) - Neapolitan Pizza. We met a couple from New York City in this restaurant and they told us it was the best pizza they had ever tasted. It’s hard to get a table and they don’t take reservations so come early. 

Rocket Bakery ($) - Good vegan food, good coffee, GREAT chicken burritos. Nice owners. If you meet Kelly or Mark, tell them Claire sent you!

Formosa Tea House - ($) Not even remotely close to Newfoundland style anything but they’re cheap, friendly, and delicious. 

Afghan Restaurant - ($) Again, not Newfoundland and it looks like a hole in the wall kind of place but trust me its fantastic. 

NOTE: - If you’re 19 and you feel like drinking in St. John’s, George Street has you covered but please be careful!

- If you want some decent food along with your booze, Loose Tie is a great place. This missus named Lor owns the place and bartends on Fridays and she’s best kind. Tell her Claire sent you! 

-The number for cabs is (709) 722-2222.

- Our public transit sucks but here’s the website

St. John’s Culture -

There’s always a million arts festival on so that’s all that’s left for you to find but I have one recommendation that you really can’t miss: 

SPIRIT OF NEWFOUNDLAND DINNER AND SHOW  - You know the whole “Screech In” part of Come From Away? That’s done there! You can get screeched in (if you’re 19) and they get you to kiss the cod as well. These guys are the whole Come From Away package. They’ll do “Heave Away,” bring you food, and will really make it feel like you’re a part of the show. 

Anyways that’s most of it! If there’s any other Newfoundlanders who want to add anything giv’er.

 Best of luck b’ys!

[lady-elowen]

Meeting Robbie Daymond at Anime Boston 2017!

GOD THIS IS MORE THAN I THOUGHT

Meeting Robbie Daymond was so gosh darn special to me, I’m here trying to write out all of the highlights of meeting him. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware of the panel he had the day before, and I had some photo things to do that evening, so I missed that. ;v; ANYWHO, pardon the potentially scattered things, I’m tingling thinking about it. Annnd I’ll have some photos to go along with this story in a separate post. With that, here goes!!

---

The minute I was told Robbie was having a signing at Anime Boston, I couldn’t wait for the weeks to go by. I began preparing a piece of art for his autograph(which got finished the Saturday of AB RIP). From the moment the travel to Boston began, my excitement practically amplified by the hour. I feel I annoyed(or at least amused :’D) a few of my room-mates at some point because I couldn’t shut up about it.

Soon enough, Sunday morning came, and was ready in my casual Gentiana for my Sunday cosplay. I got into line around 10 A.M. by myself, but Kaylee(@aqua-stone) and Griffin(@omgsheep) found me later for moral support(thanks for coming with meee guys! <3). I was there, my finished art in hand as well as Griffin’s Persona 5 art book because we weren’t sure he’d be there on time for the signing due to hotel checkout stuff. I was of the very last few who got a ticket guaranteed his autograph, so I was really just relieved I got there in time, regardless of the line and wait, which didn’t feel long at all. Everyone there was so fun, I do regret being as a quiet as I was for most of the wait, but toward the end there were some amusing conversations! I remembered the origami flowers I was handing out to Promptos that weekend and pulled a blue one out of my bag. At some point I tried to place it on my head for shits and giggles. It was dumb, but Kaylee laughed at least. xD

My friends and I then waited in the room next to where Robbie was, and Griffin kept asking me if I was okay as the line out the door got shorter. Of course, being the over-excited pile of nerves I was, answered “I don’t know!” every friggin’ time, purely out of instinct because I couldn’t think of anything else to say(I was just glad people laughed about it wheee).

Finally I got to the waiting room exit and handed my ticket to the staff managing the convention, my friends behind me. Around the corner I went, and there he was! Hilarious and sunny with everyone in front of me, as anticipated! Seeing him there made me happy enough, and it wasn’t even my turn yet! Everyone was laughing and smiling, even when Kaylee and Griffin moved to the wall just to watch. It felt great just being in line with such cool people! Anything I was planning to say went out the window because I forgot what composure was(like I had any to begin with geezhus).

At the moment the person in front of me collected their things and walked off, I finally came face-to-face with him. Heart palpitating rapidly, I gave him a “hello!” as I shifted over, to which he tried to match my hello back to me, then proceeded to laugh and say something close to “wow, that’s the loudest hello I’ve gotten all day so far!” Kaylee and Griffin were dying behind me, and that exchange alone calmed me down a lot as I laughed super hard at his remark, and we continued with the signing. After setting down my art and Griffin’s book, I pulled out a blue origami flower that read “for a sunbeam” on the bottom and handed it to him. He asked me if he got to keep it, to which I gladly answered yes, and he tried to put the flower on his head too(his hair is super rad thoooo)!! I was internally screaming.

On went the signing part of my encounter, and my art was first. Robbie asked if it was a print or copy of something, since there were other who bought prints in the artist’s alley to get signed. I told him it wasn’t, and he was amazed and asked “you made this?” I rambled for a second about how I worked on it over the weekend and he replied “this is beautiful!” Something like that, I was swooning over the compliment. I gave him my name, and as he started to write, the sharpie he had died on him, and he chucked it to the other long end of the table and signed with a fresh one. As he was doing so, I looked behind me to my friends and told them my hands started tingling and wouldn’t stop.

Griffin’s P5 art book was next, and I opened the book to the page he bookmarked with paper, the character Robbie voices, and he began to sign at the bottom-right corner of the page. I tried to spell out Griffin’s name for him, until Griffin came in from behind and said he didn’t need his name in the autograph. BUT there was already “to” and what could’ve been 3/4ths of an “L” on the page! We all laughed and finally settled on writing “to that guy” on the page with no argument whatsoever.

The signing was all set, and I asked for a picture with him before the three of us left. Happily agreeing, Robbie got up from his chair behind the table to stand by me (hue ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ). He put an arm around my shoulder after saying “get in here!” or something similar. THEN. What I remember best because I really was not expecting it and I suck at this kind of thing. He caught me off guard with “wow, you’re really soft!” and “and you smell nice!” I totally forgot Kaylee sprayed me with perfume before I left the room, I was just glad I didn’t smell like butt. My response to him was probably like “whoah really?” but I often forget half the garbage I say in spontaneous moments like that. I did a Gentiana pose with Robbie, and Griffin took the pictures. Pretty sure Kaylee said something about how poised I was, and my excuse was because I gotta be Gentiana, and we all joked a little about her. I thanked him multiple times after handing the kind lady there money for the photo.

So we all said our goodbyes, and as I was walking back down the hall, as well as the rest of Sunday, I had so much energy! It was the perfect end to my first Anime Boston, and I’m so happy to have gone and seen so many people!

This con was perfect, and I’ll never forget all of the wonderful memories made for as long as I live. Thank you for everyone who said hello and took pictures, and another gigantic thank you to Robbie Daymond for bringing so much joy to the community!~

[your-modern-shakespeare]

Never Forget You (18)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17

Summary:  It’s been over a year since Dean has gone to Hell. You used to date Dean, so what would it be like if you ran into him one day?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3040

A/N: Once again thank you so much for your patience! I have a lot of things in store, so I’m really excited for what’s to come. Also I am now 10 followers away from 200, so I have two very fun things planned and when we get there I will let you know. I’m super stoked, I love you guys, and Enjoy!

Warnings: talk of pregnancy, mystery character (I can’t wait until you guys figure out who this is), character death (?), Chuck being a jerk (??)

Tags: @drunkwordsss @fangirl1802

READER’S POV

I don’t know how long we had been waiting but it must have been forever. Dean held my hand the whole time...we were both pretty nervous. We were the only two in the room and as we waited I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but stare at the wall.

“Ms. Y/L/N?”

We both stood up and followed the woman back to an empty room. I climbed up on the table and Dean moved his chair so that he could sit closer to me. So we waited until the nurse came back and she took my information and showed me to the bathroom.

When I came back in the room, we waited. We didn’t really talk, but every so often Dean would get a text, quickly looking to see who it was before putting the phone back in his pocket.

“Is it Sam?” I asked.

“Uh...yeah, he asked if I would meet him, help with a case.”

“You just going to ignore him?”

“He’s been trying to get me to come back into the life.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“If I’m being honest, I thought about it. But it never took too long to go back to all of the time that we spent together, to remember everything that we have here. Like I said I want this, and if you’re pregnant I want to be able to provide for you and the baby. That means settling down and not getting myself killed.”

“If i’m pregnant?”

“No. If you are I would be so happy and if you aren’t we try again or we wait it out, plan some, and then try. I mean, this is our life. We have moved on and the world is still standing, so why does it have to come down to us hunting, why do we have to be the ones to save the world when something goes wrong?”

“Believe me, I agree with you. I’m just so scared.”

“About what?”

“About everything. I don’t know the first thing about raising a kid and I have to hide who I am from everyone so that things don’t try to kill me and you and Sam are fighting and I want him to be here, for you and for our family, and my whole family is dead now—”

“Hey, stop that. You’re getting in your head, you will be an amazing mother and we will deal with heaven and hell like we always have. Me and Sam, we’re going to be fine, we always have been and family is not always the group you are born into, we know plenty of people who would help us out.”

“I just can't help but feel that something is wrong.”

“Maybe for once there isn't and that's why it feels wrong. Maybe we finally have our chance to be happy and we just need to take it.”

“I really hope so.”

“Me too.”

So we sat in the doctor’s office and waited for the doctor to come back with our results. The at home test weren't nearly as long a wait as it was at the office. I mean we must have waited an hour for him to come back in.

I was laying back on the examination table and Dean was using my arm as a pillow, when the doctor came in. We immediately sat up and he sat down in his chair with a clipboard in hand.

“I'm so sorry for the wait. Uh...we had some troubles with the test.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well when we did the pregnancy test the first time it came back inconclusive and so we decided to do it again with the same result. We tried waiting longer and they both settled on different conclusions, which from what you told the nurse is the same experience you had at home?”

“Yes. So what do we do now?”

“We can take a blood sample and from there we'll get a more accurate reading.”

“And we’ll know for sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok.”

“Great, the nurse will be back in in a moment to take the sample.”

“Thank you.”

He stood and left.

“Inconclusive? You have to be kidding me.” Dean said as soon as the door shut.

“Dean, it was the same thing I experienced at Bobby’s. It could have something to do with my powers.”

“Yeah well how do we know that the blood test will work then?”

“We don't, but that doesn't mean we don't try. And if it doesn't work the human way, we try the supernatural way.”

“I just...I want to know.”

“Me too.”

The nurse came back in and took the blood she needed for the test, sending us on our way. We went back to the house and spent the rest of the night together, trying to stay positive; talking baby names, nursery colors, baby things. And as the next few days passed we returned to our normal way of life.

Four days into our engagement Sam called with a case that really stumped him, so we decided to step in for a bit and see what was going on. I poofed us into the motel room where Sam was doing some research.

“Thanks for joining me.”

“What do you got?” Dean asked.

“Three bodies now, Officer Hatch died when every pore on his body started leaking blood, which left him in a big heap of flesh on the floor, Officer Gray was covered in boils when they found him, apparently it was a quick death, and Officer Colfax whose head was eaten by Locusts, from the inside out.”

“That's all forms of gross.” He said while messing with the jar of locusts, before turning back to the research papers.

“Sounds like the plague is coming back around.” I said.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Moses.”

“Oh, Biblical plague.”

“Yeah, but these guys... ate their way out of a cop's melon. I don't quite remember that in the King James.” Dean commented, holding the jar of locusts.

“Meanwhile, a kid named Christopher Birch was shot in the head last month after a vehicle pursuit. Hatch, Gray, and Colfax were the three officers involved, and they all filed the exact same police report.”

"’Suspect exited vehicle brandishing a firearm. We were forced to fire.’ ‘Just a kid with no face and a planted gun.’ So they pop the kid, plant the piece.”

“Maybe Colfax was right. You know, maybe heaven has a hate-on for bad cops.”

“So you're listening to the guy with the bug in his custard? That's—that's the, uh, the theory you want to go with?”

“Dean, angels got to have something to do, right, now that we're post-Apocalypse?”

“You should probably call in Cas, this may be an angel thing. And I may have an idea of what's doing this.” I jumped back in.

“I tried calling Cas, he won't answer.” Sam said, he seemed pretty irritated about that.

“Castiel.” I called and immediately heard the flapping of wings.

“Hello.”

“I spent all that time trying to get through to you. Y/N calls once, and now it's ‘Hello?’” Sam looked shocked and angry

“Yes.”

“So, what, you—you like her better or something?”

“She is the closest thing we have to a God, I can't ignore her.”

“Cas, I think what he's trying to say is that... he went to Hell for us. I mean, he really took one for the team. You remember that? And then he comes back without a clue, and you can't take five friggin' minutes to give him some answers?” Dean interjected, now starting a full-fledged argument.

“If I had any answers, I might have responded. But I don't know, Sam. We have no idea who brought you back from the cage... or why.”

“So... it wasn't God?” Sam asked.

“No one's even seen God. The whole thing remains mysterious.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“What part of ‘I don't know’ escapes your understanding?”

“Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer. Okay? You come down here, and you tell him, ‘I don't know.’ Just because you have—”

“You think I came because you called?”

“Heaven missing something?” I finally said, he knew exactly what I was talking about.

“You could say that.”

“Wait, so—so you and the Halo Patrol, you guys, you aren't the cause of these killings?” Sam asked.

“No. But they were committed with one of our weapons. There's only one thing that could have brought this into existence.”

“The Staff of Moses.” I said.

“The Staff?”

“It was used in a dominance display against the Egyptians, as I recall.”

“Yeah. That one made the papers” Dean murmured.

“But I thought the Staff turned, like, a—a river into blood, not one dude.” Sam cut in.

“The weapon isn't being used at full capacity. I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect. The only other person I know who could create something like this without the staff—”

“Is me.” I finished.

“Yes.”

“It wasn't Y/N, I was with her all morning.” Dean said defensively.

“I bet you were.” Sam said under his breath.

“What I do with Y/N is none of your business. But anyway, what is Chuck Heston's disco stick doing down here? I mean, don't you guys put away your toys?”

“Before the apocalypse, Heaven may have been corrupt, but it was stable. The staff was safely contained. It's been chaos up there since the war ended. In that confusion, a number of... powerful weapons were... stolen.

“Wait, you—you're saying your nukes are loose?”

“Yeah, I'm afraid so. But you've stumbled onto one of them. We must find the weapon that did this. I need your help.”

“That's rich. Really.”Sam said.

“Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die.”

“All right. Okay. Well, if the angels didn't pull the trigger, then that brings us back to motive.” Dean concluded and they all looked at each other. I used the silence to my advantage.

“Are you guys done arguing? I'm so not in the mood for this right now.”

“What?” Dean asked.

“Who blessed the staff of Moses?”

“God.” Sam said.

“And who's the next closest thing to God?”

“You?” Dean said.

“So that means…?”

“That you can sense it.” Cas concluded.

“Everyone gets a gold star, so can we go now?”

Once I got them out of the hotel room, we headed to the Birch’s home where we found Aaron, the brother, with a part of the staff. He explained that he sold his soul to an angel and, as usual, they boys acted before they thought and we ended up kidnapping the boy. Cas started talking about reaching in and touching his soul, but I knew that that method hurt. So I did it the un-angel way, which was actually a kiss, and in this case on the forehead. It was an easy way to read energy without reaching in and grabbing his soul, especially since whichever angel had a contract on the kid, a little of his energy would be left behind with the soul.  

Apparently the angel, Balthazar, was one of Cas’s old friends, which is where we also found out about all of the angel war-like things that Cas was having to deal with. I mean, I knew it was pretty hectic up there, I could hear it, but I never thought it was that bad. Raphael seemed like the exact opposite of how needed to be ruling heaven. So we got back to work.

Cas started preparing a spell to locate Balthazar and within the minute we had his location, which is how we ended up at Liberace's mansion, or at least the next closest thing to it. The three of us stayed outside, checking the perimeter before we went inside and Cas was speaking with Balthazar. We had some unwelcome visitors from Team Raphael, but easily took care of them, of course with the help of Balthazar when he turned Raphael into a pile of salt.

But little did he know that the boys had laid out a circle of holy water, so that we could save Aaron’s soul. It didn’t take much convincing to tear up the contract, but as we started to ask more questions Cas lowered the flame and Balthazar was gone, and soon after so was Cas.  

We were just planning on going back to the house and calling it a night, but Sam had other plans.

“Why don’t we all stop and get dinner?”

“You two can go, I’m not feeling all that well.”

“Are you okay?” Dean asked.

“Yeah...you know.” “Oh.”

“Well that sounds serious, if you want you can go lay down in my room.” Sam suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks.”

Dean kissed me before he and Sam got into Sam’s car and I poofed myself to his motel room. I went over to the bed and tried my hardest to relax.

Today was technically day five, so why hadn’t we heard back from the doctor’s office? The doctor said that they would know for sure, after the bloodwork. I mean how long did it take? So obviously relaxing was the furthest thing from my mind.

“Y/N?” I heard. At first I thought that maybe I had sat on my phone, butt dialed someone, but I thought about the voice and now a different kind of nerves set in.

“It's been a long time.”

“I know.” Chuck replied.

“Um...what's up?” I laughed at myself for being so casual.

“I just...wanted to check in with you.”

“Check in with me? Why would you need to?”

“I know that you've stopped.”

“Stopped? I don't have anything else to go off of. Sam went to hell, Lucifer is in the cage, I mean that's the last thing you showed me.”

“I'm not done with you yet.”

“What does that mean?”

“I need you to get back in the game.”

“What?”

“Hunt, kill, do my work.”

“I have a life here, I want a family.”

“I heard the happy news and I won't stop the two of you, but for now that's all it can be.” It took me a second to catch on but what he said, it made sense.

“I was pregnant wasn't I?”

“Was.” I sat there for a second thinking this over. I was so angry and sad and felt like I wanted to hurt something.

“What gives you the right?”

“I'm God.”

“I have done everything you've asked! Everything! And for once I wanted something for myself and you take it away?”

“I'm sorry Y/N, it's just not a good time, finish my work.”

“Finish what? There's nothing left!” I waited for him to respond. “You coward!” I yelled to whoever was listening. I stood for just a second before I collapsed back on the bed, my face in my hands and tears in my eyes.

I tried so hard not to cry, but when Dean opened the door and looked at me with those worried eyes, I just couldn't help but break down. He quickly pulled me in his arms and he held me. Sam sat and watched the scene but didn't say anything.

I tried to get myself under control, I know that Dean probably had questions, but right as I went to say something my phone rang. I looked at the number and instantly recognized it.

“Sorry I gotta grab this.”

I stood across the room, facing the wall and answered the call knowing who it was.

“You got pretty angry there.” I heard on the other side of the line.

“Yeah I did.”

“Are you okay?”

“Honestly...no.”

“You know the quiet did great things the first time, you wouldn't want to come back?”

“It’s a tempting offer, but I just got engaged.”

“Dean’s a lucky man.”

“Yeah.”

“You need my help or…”

“If you don't mind.”

“Never.”

I closed my eyes, opening them to white, giving me the connection I needed to the person on the other end of the line. It only took a few seconds for the anger to leave my body and when I opened my eyes I took in a deep breath feeling a calming effect take over, which was soon accompanied by the sadness from the loss.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Anytime and Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm sorry for your loss.” When I heard those words my heart felt like it had been squeezed tight.

“Yeah.”

“I'll talk to you later.”

“Anytime.” I hung up and went to sit next to Dean.

“Who was that?”

“An old hunter friend of mine heard about our engagement, wanted to congratulate us.” I lied.

“Oh.” We sat in silence and I tried to control my tears this time, until he broke the silence. “Earlier, you were yelling. Were you talking to Chuck?”

“Yeah.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that it wasn't a good time to have a baby?”

“What?”

“Apparently there's still work to do.”

“But you haven't heard from him in over a year.”

“I know.”

“You guys are expecting?” Sam asked.

“Were.” I said. I heard Dean gasp quietly before he stood. I don't think he even had words to describe the pain that he knew we were both feeling.

“Um...thanks for the grub and if you need help with another case, let me know. But I think it— think it's time for us to go home.”

“No, yeah do what you have to do.”

Dean stepped over and grabbed my hand, I poofed us back to our bedroom and with a snap of our fingers I had us dressed for bed.

“Y/N, I—”

“I just want to go to bed.” I said climbing up to the pillows on my side of the bed and covering myself with the comforter. It didn't take long for Dean to climb in behind me and hold me as tight as he could as I cried myself to sleep.

PART NINETEEN