#and it upsets me that she becomes a cop canonically later on when i KNOW she should've been a

[year2007]

im getting shadowbanned for being the realest motherfucker out there and so so so annoying

[anne-with-an-evangelion]

When it comes to talking about DBH characters who get character growth/a redemption arc, Hank is the obvious person to bring up, and there’s the obvious fandom fixation on Gavin, but what about Adam Chapman? He has an arc in the game that sort of disappears in the fray when compared to other characters but he has the literal journey that everyone wants Gavin to have. But even in comparison to others I feel like Adam completely stands on his own as a good character with so much potential as far as his past, future and motivations.

When Kara, Luther and Alice first show up at Rose’s house, Adam is outside chopping wood and literally turns them away, saying his mom isn’t just too busy to talk to them - she doesn’t WANT to. Of course this isn’t the case and Rose invites everyone inside. And Adam is PISSED.

Also he’s wearing a shirt that says Average Casual Guy which is so funny

Adam is young, probably around twenty, he doesn’t seem to be away at college or anything, rather Rose says they just farm their own food to sell at the market and that’s how they scrape by. Sounds stressful, especially with a bunch of Androids living in their house. It’s obvious Adam doesn’t want them around and definitely doesn’t want any new deviants showing up, after the call for revolution that occurred with Markus’s Stratford Tower speech.

As the scene goes on, you get more information about the Chapman’s and the things they’ve been through. Rose is obviously an incredibly strong and compassionate person to be helping the Androids to this extent, but there’s no denying it’s putting her and Adam in danger. When Kara walks in on their right in the kitchen, Adam is telling Rose they need to stop getting involved, that it’s not safe, and he’s not going to back down about this issue anymore.

His outburst over this is pretty understandable, in the context of the game - even when Kara first shows up asking for Rose, Adam’s first question is, “What do you want with her?” Which I feel like isn’t just about whether Kara is an Android or not, but whether she’s someone there to bust them for having Androids in the house. And of course he’s right, because the cops come by like five minutes later to search the house. They are putting themselves in danger, and even though they’re doing the right thing, it must still be a strain on their family... and it’s clear they’ve fought about this many, many times.

So, yeah, his rejection of his mother’s desire to help the Androids comes from a place of fear for their safety, which is understandable to an extent. But he isn’t just afraid of deviants and doesn’t want to help them - he really seems to hate them, which shouldn’t be an understandable view to hold within the context of the game and the allegory of the Civil Rights Movement, and then the language he uses is like, yikes...

It’s not, I understand they’re in trouble but I’m upset you’re putting us in danger, it’s something else - and of course Adam is really mad, and maybe saying something he doesn’t necessarily mean, but this does seem to reflect his view of the Androids as a whole. At this time, Adam honestly doesn’t see them as being people, which probably makes it even harder for him to understand why Rose goes so far out of her way to help them.

I mean, she sets up trips across the river which have been obviously successful, she drives them to Jericho, she has some kind of contact with or understanding of the revolution leaders because she’s able to direct Kara on where to go, and though not much is explained, her brother (and Adam’s uncle) is obviously totally cool with Androids because he’s willing to help them too. She’s clearly been doing this for a while, or at least is proactive enough to take action and do whatever she has to. She’s even willing to take care of Alice once they get across the border. Literally the hero of DBH but I digress. Adam doesn’t think Androids are worthy of the rights they’re asking for, especially when compared to humans.

What follows this is one of the most intriguing lines in the scene (to me)

What does this mean?? We know his father passed away, and Rose says that ever since then, Adam just boils over sometimes. Maybe it happened suddenly, an accident possibly - or did he get sick? Were Androids involved somehow, like what happened with Cole? What was Rose’s husband’s opinion on Androids? Things have changed since he passed, for sure, but still. Did he hold that same “Androids aren’t alive” opinion that Adam is now expressing? Or is it just that Adam thinks if his dad were still here, he’d be able to solve this issue somehow? Maybe his dad was a politician who ran on pro-Android laws and after he died Adam has become disillusioned with his parents’ worldview ??? Maybe his father died helping Androids too and that’s why Adam rejects them so much. Or maybe his dad hated Androids so much he would have never allowed Rose to help them, and so they wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place, in Adam’s mind. (Edited to say that apparently it’s canon that Adam’s father died of cancer though I can’t recall it specifically being said in the game, so that is definitely a sad addition to things☹️)

I’m literally just making shit up lol but I really do personally hesitate to give Adam some kind of super traumatic backstory or make him bigoted against Androids because the Black characters are already treated poorly enough in the game when it comes to those things. I’m inclined to think this is just a general outburst of missing his dad and wanting him to be there to ‘fix’ things or at least, maybe, mediate the conversation between Adam and Rose. Idk, it’s cool to speculate on, especially when other characters are given super deep dives into their literally nonexistent canon backstory, it definitely feels like there’s so much that’s unsaid here.

Obviously there’s a couple of different ways the gameplay can go after this - but one other thing I wanted to bring up was what happens if you end up with Kara at the border crossing and run into Rose and Adam there. After talking to Rose in the bathroom and making a plan to all go to her brother’s house, Kara talks to Adam outside-

He says he doesn’t agree with Markus’s methods (which is like.. ok.. a whole other conversation in itself)(EDIT: so apparently the answer is different if you choose the ‘pacifist’ route for Markus- Adam says that ‘seeing what Markus is doing made me realize you’re alive’ !!! Which is cool that it changes and def reflects something different about his character than if his response is always the same!) So anyway he now believes in Androids’ right to freedom and happiness. What made this come about?? Was it after interacting with Alice and Kara and Luther?? I have a theory that Rose knew Alice was an Android as soon as they showed up but just played along - maybe when Adam realized there were Android children mixed up in this too, he began to change his view on things, maybe see himself in them, or see things through his father’s eyes, wanting to protect his family and child. Maybe that’s the lens through which Adam begins to see it. It could be the peaceful pacifist revolution Markus is leading, if he is- but even if not, Adam still changes his mind.

Or, maybe after everything that’s happened, he just realizes he was being kind of an asshole about the whole thing and when it came down to it, a government that was literally going door to door searching for Androids and the people who might help them? That’s probably not the type of place Adam wants to live in. It’s definitely interesting to think about his motivations and what brought him to this point.

And even though it’s sad for Kara and Luther, I find the ending where Alice ends up with the Chapman’s really.. bittersweet-ly satisfying in a narrative way. Found family .... though of course it sounds like they were all planning on meeting at Rose’s brother’s house so they would have all been together anyway☹️

🥲I feel like I had so much more to say but yeah!! I think he’s such a cool interesting character and I love that he ends up on the side of the Androids in the end. And what happens after they escape safely??? Does he start helping deviants too like Rose does? Are they going to settle down and form a commune of sorts with the other Androids who escaped? I love the idea of that loss in Adam’s life being filled up with the addition of new people who care about him, and a little sister in Alice, since he seems to be an only child. The possibilities of it all...

Adam has a sad sort of story to his past, he dislikes Androids and then comes around, he has so much potential for what happens after the revolution - and he’s not the only one!!! There are so many characters in the game that deserve a closer look but I just love Adam..

[fighterkimburgess]

San Diego Song Chapter 6 - Jay

Summary: After Erin asks him to keep an eye on Kim, Jay agrees. But after telling Trudy maybe Kim’s leaving for the right reasons, Jay gets a sickening feeling he was very wrong. Series masterlist here

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Mentions of potential abuse, discussion of grief, mentions of canon accurate trauma (Abductions, shootings, things that happened in s2 and 3)

Wanna join my taglist?

—

Jay sat on the couch, running through his plans for the next day. Why he’d been chosen to give the self defence presentation he had no idea, but when Voight gave him the assignment he nodded, agreeing. He couldn’t really say no and risk pissing him off with everything going on.

The front door opened, Erin arriving in and locking it behind her before sitting on the couch. His arm wrapped around her, holding her close and pushing a kiss to her hair.

“Good night?”

“Honestly? No.” He turned to look at his girlfriend, at the barely contained upset on her face. “Kim is really leaving. She wouldn’t even come to Molly’s. She’s ignoring our texts, she’s barely talking to me in work. I thought we were friends, you know? After everything last year with her and Ruzek we got close. She didn’t even tell any of us in person. If Ruzek hadn’t walked in on her and Al, we wouldn’t actually know she was going. Fucking Roman.”

“I know you don’t like him, but if she’s happy—“

“It’s not that. He got her shot, remember? That house was a death trap, he went in and nearly got himself killed. She turned down Intelligence because of him.”

“She what?” It was news to Jay, he’d always assumed the second she got offered the unit she’d take it.

“Hank told me one night, nobody else knows. When she got shot he told her he’d ignore his no dating in the unit rule, and offered her my spot when I was with the DEA. But she turned it down, saying that she needed to make sure Roman was ok. Then a couple of weeks later he got shot, but still. She did it for him.”

“They don’t make sense.” The memories of how Ruzek had found out Burgess was dating her partner still haunted Jay’s mind, the look of devastation on the officer’s face in the courtroom that he’d tried to hide. He’d become a good cop in the three years Jay had known him, did the job well and made sure they all got home safe. He didn’t deserve to feel that way.

“I don’t know what she sees in him. It’s not right.”

“If she’s happy that’s what matters. She seems to want it.”

“Jay, she’s not happy. She’s not herself. She’s not Kim anymore. Look, when she’s in your class tomorrow will you keep an eye on her? And if you come home tomorrow afternoon and tell me she’s fine, that’s ok. I’ll agree with you, and I’ll stay quiet about it. But if you think there’s something wrong, I’m doing everything I can to get to the bottom of it before she leaves Chicago for good. And I’m making her have a leaving party, because she deserves it.”

“Fine. Because it’s you.” He leaned down to kiss her, the taste of her whiskey sours on her breath. His work was ignored to get lost in his girlfriend yet again.

The next morning his alarm went off too early, and the last thing Jay wanted to do was get up. He’d always been an early riser, but staying curled up with Erin on what should have been their day off felt tempting. Instead he got up and dressed into workout gear, ready for his three hours of teaching self defence to Patrol. It’d be fine, and he’d get it done, but Erin’s murmurs trying to convince him to come back to bed tested his resolve. Finally he kissed her goodbye, grabbing his plan from the living room and driving to the 21st.

Every Patrol officer who had missed the previous month’s course had to be there, so he nodded to Trudy as he walked in before she called him over.

“Chuckles, change of plan.” He looked at her, coming across.

“What’s the change, Sarge? Can I go home and back to bed?”

“Don’t even start. But I want you to cover these topics instead of whatever you have planned.” She pushed the filled out template to him, Jay reading over what she’d written out.

“You want me to cover dealing with multiple assailants when your partner’s been injured, and what to do when shots have been fired into your patrol car. A bit on the nose, Sarge?”

“She’s in your class, I want her to be aware of how she did everything right. Can you do it?”

He wanted to say yes. Jay liked Burgess, knew Erin cared about her, knew that the entire unit had a soft spot for the spunky Patrol officer who every single day pushed the limits to do the right thing. But he couldn’t.

“I have to follow department curriculum. If I don’t we both get in trouble. But if I have time I’ll add them to the end, ok?” It was as fair as he could do and they both knew it, Platt nodding in response.

“Fine. But try have a conversation with her afterwards? At least check on her? I’m worried. Not just about the move but she’s not herself.”

“Do you think she’ll talk to me?” The question was sincere. They weren’t close, and considering she was blowing off her best friends, he didn’t think she would.

“I’m out of options. Atwater’s been texting her every day and she’s not answering. I think he’s determined to get his sister to text her this week, maybe she’ll answer that.” Jay mulled it over, unsure if he should say it, but decided to. Worst case scenario Platt got annoyed, but he could deal with that.

“Sarge, maybe she just doesn’t want to be a cop anymore. She’s been shot, she had to kill a man with a knife last year while stopping Roman from being shot. This job ended her engagement. And then she watched her boyfriend be shot at point blank range in front of her, and was nearly put on trial for shooting the man who tried to kill her and Roman. If I was her, after the last eighteen months she’s had? I’d be thinking the same. I thought about it after I was abducted last year.”

He’d never admitted that before. He’d never been that honest about his feelings, about how close he’d come to handing in his papers after Erin had rescued him, after they were blood soaked and sitting on the back of an ambulance. He’d never even told Erin about it. And from the look on Platt’s face, she didn’t realise how close he’d been either.

“It just feels like a waste. I know how hard she fought for the job and she’s just leaving?”

“Is she? Burgess has gone through more as a patrol cop than most of us ever do, she got firebombed last year too. I’d have quit by now.” He realised he was telling the truth. If he’d gone through half of what she did in Patrol he’d have quit. She deserved a fucking medal for it all. Not that the brass ever really cared about Patrol. Something he’d learned in the Army, and again as a cop.

“Maybe. I just want to know she’s sure.”

“She is. Erin can’t even get through to her. I think we have to let her go.” It was the first time he’d seen Platt show any emotion other than annoyance and dismay in the precinct. He’d been at her wedding and seen her joy, but this felt like the exact opposite of then.

“I’m really going to miss her.” Her voice was low, and Jay turned his head, seeing the lobby empty. He reached across and squeezed her hand once before letting go.

“We all will. We’ll organise drinks for her last night, make her show up. If she’s leaving she’s not getting away without us reminding her that we care. How’s that?”

“Sounds good.” She straightened at footsteps, her mask slipping back into place. “You’ve got twenty patrol officers waiting for you downstairs, Halstead. Time to get going.”

“Sounds good, Sarge.”

He went downstairs, everyone waiting for him to begin. He paired them up and ran through the exercises, watching their form. He noticed Burgess doing it perfectly, but slower than normal. Jay didn’t say anything, just watching. She wasn’t herself, he knew that much. And it wasn’t missing someone, he knew exactly how that would feel. He’d lived through it missing Erin when she was with the DEA even if they weren’t officially together. Maybe Platt was right.

But what could he do or say? He barely knew her, he’d complimented her on her shooting skills, but he wasn’t someone she knew. And if she’d blocked Erin out, what more could he do himself?

When the class ended she was one of the last to leave, and Jay caught up to her.

“Hey, Burgess. Got a sec?” She whirled around and for a moment he thought he saw fear in her eyes, but it cleared a moment later.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Erin and I were talking, she wanted you to come over for dinner during the week? She misses you. Plus, she wants to organise drinks before you move.” That fear was back, the kind of cagey look in her eyes that Jay associated with dealing with victims. He wasn’t good at his job for nothing.

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea. I just want a clean break, y’know? If I didn’t have to work out my furlough I wouldn’t have come back here.” She was quiet, Jay watching her as she spoke.

“You sure? We’re going to miss you.”

“Yeah, I bet.” The words were bitter, but she seemed to realise how they sounded after she spoke. “Look, I’ve got to go. I have people coming by today to take furniture and stuff from the apartment, and I’m selling my car tomorrow. I just don’t have time, there’s so much to do before I go.”

“If you’re sure. Erin will track you down if you say no, so I’m warning you now.”

“I’m sure. Bye, Halstead.” He watched her leave, the familiar duffle on her shoulder as she walked out of the hall, heading up the stairs.

The conversation was on Jay’s mind as he left, going out the back to avoid Platt entirely. Something was wrong. And he’d shut Platt down before even talking to Burgess, without even seeing what she’d said. The way she reacted when he said they’d miss her? She was the one not answering texts, not responding to people. What had they missed?

Jay barely paid attention to the drive back to the apartment, arriving in to Erin making lunch, pasta on the stove and stirring a sauce.

“Pasta al Limon ok for lunch? I need carbs and garlic, and this fits the bill,” she called, pressing a kiss to his cheek when he came over.

“Yeah, fine. I’m gonna shower. How long do I have?”

“Ten?”

He showered quickly, coming out to two plates on the table and a bottle of water in front of each of them, sitting in jeans and a tee.

“How’d it go? Anyone fail impressively?” Erin asked, and he shook his head as he swallowed a mouthful of spaghetti.”

“Nothing like that. I made a mistake though.”

“What?”

He went over his conversation with Platt, what he’d said. When he finished Erin looked at him, nodding slowly.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe she does need out of here, it’s been a shit six months for her.”

“You’re right. There’s something seriously wrong, and I don’t know what it is.” Jay told her about the conversation, how Kim didn’t seem to think they’d actually miss her. How he was worried about what she’d said, what she seemed to be thinking. “She doesn’t want to see anyone. She just left. I know Roman’s a douche, but he wouldn’t…he wouldn’t be physical, would he?”

“No way. He’s shit in bed, according to Sylvie, but she never got that vibe from him. She went on a couple of dates after their night together, but apparently he kisses like a washing machine so she ended it pretty quickly. She said he’d be a nice guy for someone, but she thought Kim deserved better.” That thought was nagging in Jay’s head. That there was something wrong. But maybe he was just overthinking. It was Burgess, they all cared about her. He’d been there when she’d been shot, he’d seen what could have happened to her. He’d been there when Roman was shot. It was probably just his care for her making him think this way.

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe head around to her tomorrow night? She’s working tomorrow, off the next day according to the shift pattern. Maybe she needs a girls night but doesn’t want to ask.”

“Good idea. I’ll bring a bottle of wine, talk to her. Hank told me she knows about Justin, she bought him a bottle of whiskey and left it on his desk. It’d be nice to talk to someone who doesn’t know the details.”

Jay wrapped his hand around his girlfriends, squeezing gently. She was still grieving so much, he wasn’t fully sure what to do. But when they finished eating and he rinsed the plates to put in the dishwasher, he held her on the couch and let Erin cry the tears she’d shed for her brother.

Next chapter >>

Taglist: @aruzlover @amandarrollins @morganupstead @adamruz@fullwattpadmusictree @redpoodlern @everythingaddictxx@write4life13 @lizlouisebrown @jeanjacketjesus @tuxieboy101-blog@thelittlepterophyllum @planecrazylex @sophiatellerrhodes@eternal-olicity @ossypooh @dissociation-writes @kimburgess-ruzek @thestarrynightslover @reidskitty13 @etamne @torreshalstead@itsnotpersonalbut @leymr @kellykidd @dedlund82@pinkwhitebrown @mmacke3613 @sylvieshay @upsteadlovingheart@multicouple-lover @burzekschicago @keenmarvellover @ittybitty-tittycommittee @thatoneblog3467 @bila1011

[crow-in-a-teapot]

tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable. 

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands. 

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour. 

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors. 

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part - 

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

... 

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead. 

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM  OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health  ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

How I would rewrite Violetta

TL;DR: Less lies, still a lot of drama. Also everyone is bisexual, because I say so.

~Season 1~

Okay the biggest thing here is that Germán knows she goes to the studio already from the beginning

He also knows Angie is her aunt - however, Violetta doesn’t know.

When Angie appears, Germán recognizes her. Of course he does, he should’ve known his dead wife’s family?

Angie BEGS him not to take Vilu away from her again. Germán agrees, but tells her not to tell Vilu about it. Instead, she should just be her governess until Violetta “is ready” (or, really when Germán is ready)

Angie says she still works at the studio and so when Vilu hears about it, she really wants to apply. Germán is hesitant, but he also wants her to be happy. His one condition though, is for her to not participate in any large events (oop)

Not much changes for Jade and Matias - except that they desperately try to find out whatever Angie is hiding (Ramallo and Olga tries to find out, too)

Okay, now for the love!! 

Honestly? The love triangle with Leon and Tomas stays mostly the same. I’ll deal a bit more with the love stuff in further seasons

Also, it’s the first season, too. If they are acting a little immature and don’t trust each other, they’ll just grow and learn.

Ok I recently rewatched the episode where Violetta like... writes “amiga” in her diary as she looks dreamingly at Francesca? Like girl did you get a crush on her?? I know you wrote “friend” but your look says more.

Ok probably not but IT’S MY REWRITE and now I decide Vilu and Fran have a small crush on each other. It doesn’t lead to anything (yet), but it’s there and the only one who really seems to notice is Camila

Or, well. She knows her friends have crushes on others but she’s also like “Heh, i’m gonna go, you two can continue to talk if you like”

The big DRAMA is of course, when Violetta joins the youmix competition

Her dad already had a grudge for her singing in the theatre, but now she just has to really hide this

Which is harder when she like. Shares a house with Federico, who’s getting a lot of fans that wants to follow him home. So when they see her, they be like “OH MY GOD THEY ARE ROOMATES” and so Vilu’s fans are there too and she panicks because her dad cannot know

Vilu’s biggest comfort object is her diary, she carries it everywhere in canon (like, even in later seasons when she’s famous she always has it around). In my rewrite, not much changes, except for the fact that Ludmila constantly tries to steal it to destroy her. So anyway, Violetta decides to get a lock with a number combination to open it (as she figures if she has a key she can lose it). Her combination changes a lot. It’s most often two or three letters of a person she likes. Examples are 12-22 (LV, Leon Vargas), or 6-18-1 (FRA, Francesca). One time she even put 12-21 (LU, Ludmila) just to trick Ludmila, as Ludmi never would think Vilu would put her name there.

Violetta finds out Angie is her aunt by overhearing a conversation between her and Pablo. Though, they solve it rather quickly and then get even closer, just like in canon.

In the end, they don’t move away, but Germán does not let her participate in the final show as she’s kind of grounded after he found out she was in youmix and all that

But then he lets her. All is good. Tomas goes to Spain, Violetta is like “I don’t wanna date anyone”

BUT as Tomas goes to Spain she gives Leon a little smirk as if to say “we’ll see what I say about that though, after the break ;)”

The last thing I wanna say about season 1 is that we all know Andrés is canonically a disaster bisexual (come on, think about it) and I just want to embrace that more

~Season 2~

PEOPLE RIGHT AWAY COMMENT ABOUT VILU’S HAIR BECAUSE WE JUST CAN’T LET IT GO UNNOTICED

I know how it’s gonna go for Fran and Diego, so i’ll let them have some little nice scenes in a buildup for s3 (as most of their scenes this season was just “I don’t trust you, Diego”, “Francesca, let me explain”, “No fuck you”)

Honestly I want Ludmila to be a LITTLE nicer this season so she has no pact with Diego

Instead, Ludmila just talks shit about Violetta to him and he’s like “but she’s cute?”

So Diego literally flirts with Vilu to show Ludmila she’s not bad and Ludmila is like “wtf why are you embarrasing yourself”

There’s not a lot of that “Leon you have to trust me” bullshit that Leonetta has. They DO trust each other and honestly they just bond over their shared annoyance with Diego

(But secretly, BOTH of them kinda feel attracted to him)

(Very fun fact one of the first edits I ever saw was one where they shipped Diego and Leon and 12yo me was like “oh wow this kinda makes sense??” and rewatching the show I realised the TENSION™ they had)

Ok. 2x20. The scene I think y’all know i’m reffering to actually caused a series of events to happen later in the season in canon. If Diego had not kissed Violetta, she and Leon wouldn’t have broken up (atleast not that time), German wouldn’t have started to spy on Violetta after feeling like he had to protect her, which would’ve caused Angie to find out and feeling like she couldn’t take it any longer and move to Paris and Violetta and German to start arguing for like 15 episodes because of lies. ALL THAT HAPPENED, originally because of Diego kissing Violetta. I’m not saying it was entirely his fault, but. I’m just- hdsoksyhufshua okay I think it’s just my inner 11yo still bitter about what happened

BUT THIS IS MY REWRITE AND WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF DIEGO DIDN’T KISS HER AGAINST HER WILL IN 2x20

The show goes as planned. They fake kiss as they planned to. Everyone is happy for a while. Though, on cameras it looks like a real kiss, so the fans are like. Asking if Violetta and Diego are dating. Diego does not deny this.

Leon and Violetta do break up, because we need drama. Though, it’s more like a mutual agreement rather than an argument. It just became too much for them to handle when Violetta got a contract with youmix, Leon and his motorcross and Diego hovering over them all the time. They needed a break.

Diego and Violetta do get together, but they kinda do like in canon: She is annoyed with him until she finally just gives up and accepts his love.

Germán does not spy on Violetta, but he does consider reading her diary (he doesn’t)

Jade and Matias are no longer relevant. They do make cameos sometimes, but Esmeralda doesn’t know them. Even the viewer believes she’s nice. We only get some small hints of something being off - like Ambar saying “be nice to them” and Esmeralda sometimes giving people strange looks. But then comes the wedding day - that’s when SUDDENLY, the cops arrive! They explain everything - they have been after her for a long time and they recently found out she was gonna marry German for his money and then take it all and flee the country. Drama on top and it’ll be a real classic soap opera betrayal

Angie leaves to France as she just... got an opportunity to work there and she says yes

Camila spends this season dating a bunch of different boys, right? I think this is the perfect place to be a little inclusive and let her be the bi flower queen she is and let her date some girls too. Like switch Seba’s gender or something, not much will change.

THE MADRID STORYLINE. I LOVED THE DYNAMICS IN CANON BUT IN THIS IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER AND MORE DRAMATIC.

Fran and Vilu already had something going on after the whole ”Francesca almost going back to Italy” storyline and they get even closer as they get lost in Madrid. They were already close, but as they argue for being lost, something just... happens.

Actually the same thing happens with Leon and Diego.

What exactly happens? They almost kiss. They do not kiss, but it’s like it almost happens. They just... get very close and stare at each other before realising. They react differently to this

Francesca and Violetta at first get awkward. They are like “oh- okay.” and then become silent for the rest of the day. It’s not until they are alone in their hotel room that Vilu is like “...what happened today?” and Francesca is like “What are you talking about? I don’t know? Goodnight!!”

Leon and Diego refuse to mention it. They are annoyed as it is. But they do think about it

Yes, I did get this idea after I rewatched ep75 and Leon was like “we were late because this dude didn’t stop fixing his hair” and I was like “DRHSKEHJYU I’M-”

The most heartfelt scene in canon is when Violetta finds out about Diego and Ludmila’s pact, goes out on stage crying and Leon saves her. Like, Leonetta wasn’t the most stable couple but him saving her when she was so distressed... that’s love, dammit!! And I would love to include it somehow.

But: I can’t really find a reason for her to be so upset she can’t sing. So she does sing, that goes well. But as she does, Diego, Fran and Leon argue. Leon is convinced Diego isn’t actually in love with Vilu, Diego is just out for fights and Francesca is like “i’m on Leons side but stop arguing also I think I like Vilu too but that’s beside the point right now I guess?”

She sings “Te Creo” as she was going to, and they like. Do the opposite of what she sings. Or, the complete right thing to what she sings. It’s unclear.

Anyways as she finishes, all of them has to go out on stage to thank the audience and Violetta is like “dafuq is wrong with all of you”

As she tries to help them, Diego says something out of anger that hurts her. Maybe a “I don’t think I really love you” or something maybe a little more hurtful than that. She gets teared up, breaks up with him and run away

Francesca says “You know, I was actually beginning to like you, and now this”, which makes him feel oddly hurt. He doesn’t really know why, yet.

Fran and Leon run after Vilu. There’s the leonetta comfort hug scene ™ there, but also a comfort scene with Fran when they are in their room and she just takes Vilu’s hand while they stare at each other.

Marco is here. Uh. Tbh I don’t know what to do with him?? Because he like. Vanishes to London in s3 canon so Fran can be with Diego so idk man. 

He doesn’t send her like a million flowers in Madrid or visits, but he does call and miss her. Marco was a sweet boyfriend for her, really. Though, he kinda was just. Nice. Nothing more. Their relationship didn’t evolve a lot? 

Though after the random almost-kissing Vilu incident that Francesca doesn’t want to talk about, she kinda grows closer to Marco again.

Back in Buenos Aires, Violetta doesn’t really have an argument with German as he didn’t spy on her in this, so she simply has trouble writing Soy mi mejor momento until German is like “Violetta that’s your mothers poem-” and they have a little father-daughter bonding over finishing it

She is however not really ready to just go back to Leon after recently breaking up with Diego and so she has that “why does no one ask me what I want” scene like she did in ep76.

But then Leon sings Nuestro Camino and she’s like “I DREAMED THAT WE SANG THAT TOGETHER WTF” and he’s like “OMG SAME??” and they bond over the fact that they are soulmates who share dreams or smth, and so they get back together

Diego and Leon do not speak of Madrid, but they do this very manly but also tension filled handshake as if they “accept” each other.

Francesca and Vilu also doesn’t really speak of the fact that they had a little moment in Madrid either, but they do share some smiles and Camila is like “did something happen??”

Leonetta is a couple again. The New Years show is a hit and that means youmix will let them do a world tour (I literally realised NOW, that the reason they are on tour in season 3 is because of the last show in s2, they mentioned in some passing scene some episodes before about it being a world tour)

Oh also Ludmila and Federico have basically the same kind of romance they had in canon, same with Naty and Maxi (Naty and Maxi’s kiss where Maxi had to switch his cap around was so cute uWu)

Oh and also Gregorio and Diego? Same as canon. That shit was emotional.

Lara, I forgot about Lara... uuuh. She’s just a mechanic. She disappears after s2 anyway so

 ~Season 3~

Honestly s3 was kind of a fanfiction already when you think about it??? So in this rewrite I guess I could just GO OFF with everything :D

Hmmm yeah Priscilla is still a fucking psychopath but she will suffer even more god I hate that woman HOW CAN YOU PUSH A CHILD DOWN SOME STAIRS AND FORCE YOUR DAUGHTER TO HURT PEOPLE-

Everything is well with all couples but being on tour and hanging out so much all the time, they get a little... cramped. So they easily get grumpy and yell at each other

Leon and Violetta knows this, and so they don’t get mad at each other when the other one is upset. They understand. So as Violetta gets her birthday wish, she doesn’t really complain at all. Sure, she does get a little scared when they fly off, but she’s honestly just happy to spend some ✨alone time ✨with her soulmate and lowkey wishes no one would find them 

All the couples break up and Leonetta is like “nah it will not happen to us UwU” and then it just. Gets to them too. They just simply have to be apart before they hate each other. Their breakup happens around the same time as canon.

It felt kind of ooc for Violetta to dress up as another person to spy on Leon but it was still kinda funny. So Roxy will stay, we’ll just change it a bit

She doesn’t create Roxy to spy on Leon, but because of Francesca. Fran is getting confused with Marco leaving and now she’s starting to get feelings for Diego... a part of her just wants to disappear and think about something else. So Violetta is like “What if we dress up and go out” and they do, and fool everyone

And so... when boys they know start to flirt with them, they just panic and say they’re not single. But they can’t make up fake boyfriends so they say they are dating each other.

Which makes Andrés interested - he’s like “wow two girls can date that’s cool”. Camila is also interested, she’s like “WOW ALL MY FRIENDS ARE STRAIGHT I CAN BOND WITH YOU OVER BEING NOT STRAIGHT”

Anyway it’s hard to keep it together when Camila is talking about Vilu and Fran - to Vilu and Fran, in disguise.

Hmmmm ok I literally almost forgot about Gery and Clement lol?? Tbh, of all the “lover rivals” they are the weakest this far. Leon and Vilu didn’t even feel that attracted to them anyway. 

Gery is not straight in the slightest? Like girl that haircut and the HALF SHAVED EYEBROW like please. She’s pansexual, i’ve decided. She has a crush on both Leon and Violetta, but she does not really know how to handle that. So she never does. She talks about it with Clement, though and the two of them bond over being nervous messes who can’t talk to their crushes

There’s no Alex, tbh. Clement is just Clement. His dad lets him attend the studio but he’s also like “ugh I wanna support your dreams but you could take economy classes on the side??”

They are not out for breaking Leonetta apart because I for once just want ONE season when there’s no one else Leonetta wants to be with. They just want to be with each other and the whole season is them just kinda... figuring stuff out before getting back together.

Also Fran and Vilu have this thing going on now when they pretend to be a couple as they are dressed up as other people and they have to handle that

The plan was for them to only really dress up once but now their friends wants to get to know Roxy and Fausta and they just have to continue it

Camila is the first one to find out and her reaction is “I always knew you two had a thing for each other but this is just strange, why can’t you date as yourselves?”

To which Vilu and Fran as a response just shut down, not knowing at all how they feel about anything anymore.

Camila notices they seem to not wanting to talk about it, so she decides to make up a plan to make them talk. Though, it solves itself when Vilu and Fran get locked inside a closet at the studio (because of course they do)

In there they talk about what happened in Madrid last year, when they almost kissed. They are unsure what that meant. They admit that it was thrilling to pretend to be a couple, when they were Roxy and Fausta. But the thought of dating as Vilu and Fran... it feels strange. Especially because of all the stuff with Diego and Leon.

But they do decide to try to kiss, just to see - and as soon as their lips touch, someone opens the closet. It’s Diego and Leon. They are kinda shocked.

The girls explain the situation and Leon is like “You know what we almost kissed in Madrid too wtf”

They also reveal they are Roxy and Fausta and Leon is kinda embarrased because he got a crush on Roxy

The girls discussed how it was kissing - they liked it, but... they don’t know. Because they also feel kind of a strong connection to Diego and Leon respectively

So they like... make a promise. If it doesn’t work out with the boys, they’ll date each other.

But they end up with the boys... atleast for now, heh.

The whole “Leonetta will only be friends” plot is still here just because I love it so damn much they are such dorks they literally think they can stay friends lol

So yeah Gery and Clement start dating and they are basically as cute as Naxi. Honestly since I removed the whole “ruin leonetta” plot they have little purpose - so that’s why I made them crush on Leonetta on a distance and never do anything. We need some people to relate to, some people just never confesses and just go around crushing on people without telling lol

German proposes to Angie and Leon kinda plans to propose to Violetta. Not yet, since they’re like 19 (they aren’t finchel lol), but he has plans. 

“Ok thanks future father in law” was a top 10 iconic Leon moment and I just wanted to include it

It ends kind of like canon.

Ok! I just wrote most of this spontaneously. Maybe it wouldn’t be that good, really i’m just brainstorming. This show was everything to me when I was a preteen even though I realise it was probably not good (I lost a bit of interest in season 3, idk that season was a little more off to me)

I probably forgot a lot, since there were like a million plots, but this was just for fun so yeah don’t take it super seriously. Also thank you if you made it this far. 

[nitrateglow]

Well, I rewatched Two for the Road...

I found it interesting what changed during this rewatch-- certain things I found strengths the first time around, I disliked, and other elements I appreciated more. I doubt I’ll rewatch it for a long time yet, but I get its appeal a little more.

Anyway, have some scattered thoughts. I tried to be as spoiler-free as possible.

Positives:

Audrey’s performance is amazing. This is one of her more subtle, layered performances, and one I would suggest to those who believe she could not act or had no range. Joanna is largely a likeable character: charming, considerate, affectionate, and playful. However, years of a strained marriage to a selfish boor erodes her romanticism and her vindicative edge, slightly hinted at in the earlier scenes, blossoms into something ugly. I think Audrey juggles the dark side of her character with her endearing charms in a natural, non-exaggerated fashion, making this character feel very human.

The direction is playful in a 60s way. Now, this will be a strength or a weakness depending on your tolerance for 1960s cinematic hipness. Donen plays around with fast-motion, freeze frame, music, and composition in very self-conscious ways. The movie feels a little New Hollywood in that sense (though I would not count it as a bonafide entry in the New Hollywood movement-- it’s very traditional in other ways).

The physical comedy is good. Pretty much any scene with a malfunctioning car (and there are many) is handled in a deadpan manner that is almost Keatonesque. And I’m a sucker for anything that evokes Buster Keaton.

Negatives:

The “witty” dialogue feels very forced. I know a lot of people like the script for this, but I didn’t care for the dialogue at all. It felt like it was trying too hard to be hip and clever. I normally don’t cite Dennis Schwartz’s reviews, but I pretty much agree with his thoughts on the dialogue:

The supposedly clever adult banter between the always bickering couple seems less comical than just being sour grapes...

Pretty much, especially since so much of the dialogue just follows the same pattern:

Mark: You hated [thing]. Joanna: (tearfully) I loved [thing]! Mark: NO YA DIDNT. Ya hated [thing.] Joanna: I hated [thing]....

Oh, or this one:

Joanna: Marriage is good. Mark: Marriage SUCKS. Look at those miserable people! Joanna: That’s just them. Mark: NAH MARRIAGE BLOWS.

I cannot stand Albert Finney’s character. Out of all the love interests in Hepburn’s canon, I dislike Mark Wallace the most. He’s loudmouthed, selfish, and controlling, not to mention hypocritical (okay with his own infidelities, but losing his mind when Joanna has an affair of her own). He barely acknowledges the existence of his own child. He’s arrogant and annoying even when he and Joanna first meet-- I had no idea why she ever took a shine to him beyond his looks. As a result, I was rooting against the relationship at every turn, which leads me to my next point.....

Because Mark is so unlikable, I do not get why Joanna stays with him.  About all he’s got going are looks, moments of good humor, and an animal sexual magnetism. Otherwise, he’s a boorish jerk who badmouths marriage constantly and takes Joanna for granted once they do marry. He does eventually have a turning moment, but it comes so late in the movie and is so quickly done, that I found myself utterly unmoved by it. In fact, the whole ending just felt like a cop-out to me-- had this movie come out even five years later, I think the ending would have been quite darker. As it was, it felt too cute and neat. I just didn’t buy the resolution.

The nonlinear structure makes the plot not only confusing, but repetitive. The first time I saw this movie, the nonlinear structure was about the only element of the production that I consistently praised. Now, I found it was one of my least favorite things about it!

At first, the cuts between the happier moments of the past and the more bitter scenes in the present are ironic and clever (we cut from the young lovers basking in the afterglow of their first sexual encounter to them in a later period, married and just complaining about how badly they slept the night before). By the hour point, I felt the cutting between the four time periods killed the flow of the story and often felt clever for the sake of being clever-- I think seeing the relationship slowly go bad would have worked better than constantly cutting the way they did.

And then, the bickering just becomes tiresome as hell-- I ceased to be upset for Joanna or annoyed at Mark during the final half of the movie. I was just exhausted and indifferent by the sour grape parade... and judging from the emotional Mancini music and the acting, I do not think Donen intended for me to be apathetic by the end. Enervated maybe, but not apathetic.

Final thoughts:

I’m glad I rewatched Two for the Road. I feel like I get why people like it a little bit more, but I confess that by the end, I was just left cold by the whole affair. It really isn’t my thing, I guess, but not everything can be. And if you haven’t seen it, then don’t let me put you off. A lot of people treasure this movie and more power to them.

[ejzah]

How about a story set in the early seasons when Deeks and Sam still didn’t always see eye to eye and Sam treated Deeks like dirt. Can you write a story where Deeks finally has had enough and demands respect or at the very least decency otherwise he’ll leave the team.

A/N: As requested, this takes place on the first few seasons. I often forget, but when you go back to the early days, everyone, including Sam say some unnecessarily unkind things to him.

***

“I don’t trust him,” Deeks said, leaning against the table in the boat shed as he eyed the monitor in front of him. They were waiting for Callen and Kensi to come back from questioning some witnesses.

“He’s a marine, Deeks,” Sam said, like that somehow absolved him of any potential guilt. He’d been irritable with Deeks all morning.

“Last I checked, marines are still capable of committing crimes. I mean, we wouldn’t have much work if they didn’t.” He tried to joke, to lighten the mood that had been slowly going downhill since Jared Hornyak had become a potential suspect. Deeks didn’t like it either, but like he’d said, it wasn’t unusual.

“He has a good record. Besides, you wouldn’t understand.” There was something definitely condescending in Sam’s tone, dismissive of Deeks’ input. He knew he should really just ignore it. Sam got riled up when he felt someone violated his very stringent, personal code of ethics. Particularly when that person happened to be a member of the armed forces. They were just lucky it wasn’t a SEAL.

“Why, because I’m a cop?” Deeks asked, knowing he should just let it go. Nothing good ever came from challenging angry people. But he was a little ticked off himself. “You know I’ve dealt with this kind of thing before. Anybody can break the law, anybody can be a bad guy. Even a U.S. Navy Marine. Just because this guy looks all bright and shiny on the surface, doesn’t mean he’s-“

“Shut up, Deeks,” Sam said, cutting him short. Deeks looked at him incredulously.

“Excuse me?” Sam shook his head, his gaze flicking over to Deeks.

“For once in your life just stop talking. I don’t want or need your opinion.” Before Deeks could think of a response, Callen and Kensi walked in.

“Well, that was a waste of time,” Kensi said told them. “Jared’s buddies didn’t-is everything ok?” Her eyes darted between Sam and Deeks obviously picking up on the tension in the room. Deeks, crossed his arms, adopting a falsely relaxed position against the table, waiting to see what Sam would say.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. What about his teammates?” Kensi’s eyes drifted over to Deeks as Callen took over summarizing what they’d learned from Jared Hornyak’s fellow marines. She tried to catch his eye, but Deeks just shook his head.

“There was something a little fishy about their stories,” Callen was saying.

“Like what?” Sam asked, frowning as he glanced at the monitor. His whole demeanor had changed: from blatantly antagonistic to accepting.

“Too rehearsed, like they’d talked about it and agreed on a similar story.” Sam sighed, uncrossing his arms and accepting Callen’s judgment at face value. Deeks pressed his lips together, biting back a nasty comment.

“Ok, let’s see what Hornyak has to say.” Sam and Callen walked down the short hallway to the interrogation room and appeared on the screen a moment later.

“Unbelievable,” Deeks muttered under his breath. He’d thought Sam was finally starting to treat him like a functional, possibly valuable, member of the team. Clearly he had been very wrong. When he turned around, Kensi was staring at him, a worried look in her eyes. He had a feeling she’d been watching him closely than he realized.

“Are you ok?” she asked again, going so far as to touch his arm. He gave her a weak smile and replied,

“I’m fine, Partner.”

“You look...angry. Did something happen while we were gone?”

“I’m not angry with you,” he assured her, which didn’t exactly answer her question. It was as much as he could say right now without going on a full-blown tirade.

“Deeks-“

“You know, I think I’m going to take a half day. I’m not feeling great right now.” He saw Kensi’s eyes widen and she reached out to him again. Her hand was warm and firm on his arm, sending a confusing shiver across his skin.

“Hey, whatever’s going on, you know you can talk to me about it, right?” She asked, tucking her fingers into her back pockets and smiling a little shyly. “I mean, what are partners for if you can’t unload on them?

“I know,” Deeks assured her, brushing her arm as he headed for the door. “And I appreciate. But right now I think it’s best if I’m not here right now.”

Half an hour later of interrogation, Sam and Callen emerged, looking frustrated. Hornyak had proved uncooperative.

“Where’s Deeks,” Callen asked, glancing around the boat shed, like Deeks might be hiding behind a boat and suddenly appear.

“He went home,” Kensi informed them, biting down on her lip. She turned to Sam with a frown. “Did something happen between you two? Deeks seemed upset about something.”

Sam rolled his eyes and made a perturbed sound.

“I think I know what’s going on. Although I’m surprised he’d overreact like this,” Sam replied. “Then again, it’s Deeks, so I guess I should expect the melodrama.”

“What does that mean,” Kensi asked, sounding a little defensive. Deeks wasn’t there to defend himself, so it fell to her as his partner.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll go talk to Deeks when we get done here.”

***

“No, I don’t want any-oh it’s you,” Deeks said, surprised to Sam standing on his doorstep.

“Who did you think I was?” Sam asked, glancing around him.

“High schoolers have been pestering me to buy magazines, chocolate, and cookie dough all night,” Deeks explained. “And before you can ask, yeah, I know it’s bad trade craft to not check before I opened the door.” Sam smirked at him mildly.

“Actually, I was just going to ask if I could come in.”

“Would it matter if I said ‘no’?” Deeks wondered, reclining against the door jamb with his ankles crossed.

“Not really,” Sam said, walking past him. He looked around and Deeks realized it was the first time he’d been inside his apartment. “Huh, not what I expected. A lot neater.

“So did you just come to insult my homemaking skills, or can I look forward to further critiques?”

“I came to ask why you walked out today.”

“I think you know why,” Deeks told him, pausing for a moment to give Sam a pointed look. He allowed the silence to grow and thicken between them and Deeks felt a perverse pleasure when Sam twitched uncomfortably.

“If this is about what happened in the boat shed...”

“You mean, when you told me to shut up after implying that I have poor judgment, then no. No, that is not the reason why I walked out today. Or at least not the sole reason.” Sam made a noise again, the one that he made when he thought Deeks was being particularly ridiculous.

“What are you talking about, Deeks?” he said.

“Ever since I joined the team, you’ve insulted me and disregarded my input. At first I accepted it as just your normal hazing, but it’s been two years man,” he said, shaking his head as he put his thought together.

“You’re telling me you can’t put up with a little teasing? I thought you had a thicker skin than that, Deeks.”

“It isn’t just teasing, Sam. It’s the lack of respect.” Deeks shrugged. “Today it just hit me that I’m not sure I can keep working in that environment.”

“You’re thinking of quitting?”

“No, I’m thinking of going back to LAPD as a detective.”

“They treated you like crap there,” Sam said, sounding angrier than Deeks had expected. He’d actually thought Sam would be in favor of his potential departure.

“And you don’t?” Deeks challenged him. Sam had the good grace to look slightly ashamed. It was an odd look for the man. He pursed his lips, staring down at his shoes for a minute.

“Fine, I apologize.” Deeks’ eyebrows rose in surprise. “I shouldn’t ride you so hard. I’ll try to keep those comments to himself.” Sam ended his apology by clapping Deeks’ on the shoulder, his expression expectant. It wasn’t the best apology he’d ever hear, but Deeks supposed it probably the best he would get.

“Really, you’re going to be able to stop making jokes about my appearance?” Sam smirked at that.

“Hey, I might not get it right 100% of the time, but I’ll try.” Deeks didn’t answer immediately so he added, “Plus, Hetty and Kensi will kill both of us if you leave.”

“True,” Deeks acknowledge. He sighed, wondering if he was about to make the right decision. “Fine, I’ll stay. For now. But I was serious about what I said.” Sam smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, apparently pleased with a good night’s work.

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, reaching for the door. “Oh, and Deeks, next time check the door before you open it. I could have been anyone.” Deeks chuckled to himself as he shut the door behind Sam. Sam Hanna just couldn’t help himself.

He wondered if Sam would actually stick to his side of their agreement, or if he’d just said what he needed to get the desired result. Either way, Deeks was a liaison for at least one more day.

***

Thanks for the prompt, anon!

A/N: I feel like this kind of fizzled at the end. Anyhoo, I tried to make this more possibly canon-compliant.

[christinesficrecs]

Lost Sterek Fics

So many lost fics!  Please comment/message me if you can help. :) 

***

- I’m pretty sure it’s kind of long but I could be mistaken, stiles and Derek have children and at some point their son becomes an alpha and the near the end of the book Derek and his son turn into these giant wolves and fight off a creature that I can’t remember and stiles is really upset about it cause they might never be able to turn back. 

- it’s of sheriff spanking stiles and derek is in stiles room listening. stiles goes back in his room and they have sex!!

- Derek was confused by the other bitten werewolves saying things like "the wolf wants" or "the wolf part of me" because he always have been one since he was born a werewolf and never divided himself like that? 

- Derek is drunk & thinks that his feelings are unreciprocated& stiles takes him back & tells him that they are not so Derek lines up his fingers with Stiles & counts them to 10,so basically he's saying that he is not dreaming& the feels behind that one!!!

- Derek is famous and powerful & he and Stiles start a relationship. What I remember is one scene in particular where they are being interviewed and they get some judgement because Derek and Stiles are versatile and werewolves consider an Alpha as a bottom a sign of weakness. I remember Stiles & Derek basically rolling their eyes at each other about the stupidity of that while being interviewed. 

- Sterek are in love, but so are their kids. So they never get married, (because they don’t want to hinder their kids love) but their kids end up married at the end. (might be a series)

- Werewolves growls all have different meanings. Some generic ones everyone can understand. But some growls you have to know the wolf really well to know what that growl means. Derek has this growl that Stiles doesn't know the meaning of.

- Derek and Stiles are fighting and Stiles says something like "we don't trust ech other" and Derek brings what happened at the pool ans say something like "that doesn't mean nothing to me" 

- Stiles is writhing the story of his life with Derek and at the end he write it as if Derek have died in fire and his last words with Derek is something like if I die I lose you and that scare the sh*t out of me or something then he stop writing because his husband -SHOCERK- enters the room and it is Derek

- Stiles and friends cheat at lacrosse to make their families happy. Because they were fired from Hale Company. And Derek and stiles are in a secret relationship?

- Stiles, and the others, end up befriending Erica while Peter is still going around killing people as an alpha. I only remember that Stiles and Erica, with some of the others, were at like a diner? And Peter attacks, and bites, Erica when they leave.

- i’m pretty sure it was a human au that was set in New Orleans. One of them, Stiles or Derek, worked at call center and the other worked at a diner. I think Scott was Stiles’ roommate." & "update i remember that Derek was a 911 call operator and Stiles was the one working as a server at the diner."

- Stiles is magic and when they were lilttleish kids makes Scott’s father go away, possibly forever.

stiles’ mother/grandma always made him a special soup, and he never knew what the secret ingredient was until Derek made it for him the same way, when he realised it was love.

- Stiles and derek are running away together to fight monsters. At some point there was a troll closing up on them and they hid on top of a tree and stiles got loopy? 

- Derek and Issac are cops who follows who stiles is an agent gone rogue. I think stiles kills the bad guys in frond of them and saves Derek's life. 

- Stiles and Isaac alone in a house and they hear a suspicious noise so Stiles is like we should call Derek but the suspicious noise actually ended up being Derek and he’s proud of them for thinking to call him?

- it's either a season1 or 2 au where stiles and derek enter an arrangement where they sex it up in exchange for derek to try to teach scott werewolfy stuff. i remember at one point danny and stiles talk abt the arrangement and danny later chews derek out abt being more gentle. 

- I vaguely recall a season 1 canon divergence where Allison tells the sheriff that Kate has Derek chained up under the Hale house  

- Stiles and derek are mates and Stiles goes out of town for a while and derek goes into his wolf form and sort of becomes a bit feral but then stiles comes back and helps him

- derek and stiles are at some sort of searching ceremony esque interview and derek unconsciously flashes his eyes at stiles. Peter explains later in the fic that derek was trying to pique stiles' interest (unknowingly). 

- Stiles is patient/test subject on somenkind of shady facility where they do experiments on humans and I think he's been there most of his life. Derek is a new doctor in there and is the first one who is kind to stiles.

- Derek only asked stiles out to annoy Scott, but actually fell for him, stiles over hears Derek and Issac talking about it and I think he leaves for college, I remember near the end that the wolfs did something to his jeep so stiles had not choice to stay at the house to talk to Derek because Derek made a huge mistake and wants stiles back. 

- to help defeat the alpha pack Stiles and Allison go to Derek. Derek says he can only do it if they join his pack. Derek proceeds to have sex with Stiles, while Allison has sex with Issac and Boyd. Scott gets pissed, and Allison has Boyd’s babies. I think it’s a series, 3 short fics.

- I'm looking for a fic that has Stiles at a party. I believe he is used as werewolf bait or turns out to be alluring to werewolves and didnt know it.

- I think Derek and Stiles are in a basement under the Halehouse, and because of some kind of moon Derek wants Scott to be in that basement. They make fun of Scott but he hear them and he lock the door when Derek and Stiles are inside. Smut happens 

- Stiles being a spark and just learning how to use his powers, Peter Hale is helping him learn when he discovers that every time that Stiles uses his powers he gets aroused and Derek helps him out through it, 

- Stiles and Derek are in the woods, and some type of creature makes both of them hallucinate. Derek then attacks Stiles thinking that Stiles is a monster. It was like a horror or psychological horror. 

- everyone has a secondary gender (omega, beta, alpha) but there are werewolves as well. Derek is Alpha-alpha, and Stiles is human Omega while Scott turns into Beta-beta. It followed along the first season of Teen Wolf and instead of Derek manhandling Stiles in the show, he grabs his hand and squeezes it. (1/2)(cont) It progresses until Stiles, Lydia and Allison are shopping for formal wear for the dance and Stiles starts to get his heat when Peter shows up and takes them hostage. The end chapter has Derek helping Stiles through his heat as he looks up at the moon with red eyes. 

- im looking for this accidental mating fic where scott and stiles are at dereks and stiles accidently mates with derek after he tries to run etc?

- stiles was helping derek with school I think and they got along and one night - stiles had a nightmare I think and was having a panic attack and called derek but didn't tell him about the nightmare and talked about something else and stiles got calmed by derek voice ..  

- derek is an alpha and like everyday people try to fight him in order to get his powers? i think they’re all in high school and that stiles is the new kid? 

- it’s where derek was at a clinic, and stiles was the one to ‘examine’ him — with sex toys, etc., — on the last chapter, it was established that they were already together and roleplaying. they were in the clinic that scott works at which stiles had gotten the keys to.

- It has two parts. The first involves someone poisoning the wolves so that they'll shift/go crazy. Stiles is in high school and he and Derek drink wine?? The second, the pack goes to college, and Derek breaks up with stiles to protect him. Stiles starts taking pain killers and gets depressed, the Alpha pack shows up, and Peter ends up being evil and trying to kill everyone??

-  Stiles kinda is hurting when he has his first time with Derek?

-  stiles Accidental Voyeurism on Derek showering and he is nervous because he is nervous to talk to him because he’s just that hot!

- stiles is adopted by the hales I think and Derek figures out he's his mate, I think there's growing up time skips, but the ending is Derek rushing home from college because the Argents are there to start the fire, stiles stays back with Talia to help defend their home.

-  it’s girl!stiles and it’s where she has hairy legs and arm pits and just owns herself and she goes on a camping trip with Derek and they’re both naked because they don’t really care for nudity,

-  I'm looking for a fic that had Stiles continuously flirting with other people to make Derek jealous after he realizes how good the sex is.

- There is a similar new fic called ‘User Error’ (first chapter looks great), it’s the troupe where Stiles is the brains behind the business and his partner (Scott?) tries to push him out/limit his input, Stiles is hurt but agreed to leave, but not before pulling out receipts of patents and just totally owning the situation, leaving but pretty much taking the rights to everything with him epically schooling those around him.

- stiles goes back in time to before the hale fire and tries to stop it, (fire is on night of a school dance) but he could only save Cora? I think he went be the name Cris or something similar

- Stiles had a boyfriend but he loved Derek and he thought Derek didn't loved him back so he would hide all his emotions from the pack, cause he was in so much pain. And they would fight a lot. I don't know if he was a spark or no.

- stiles and derek hate each other and When they lost their friends they were stuck together to search for them..

- Derek is in heat at the hale house and told everyone to stay away, but stiles didn’t and so Derek kisses him and makes stiles go into a pseudo heat and then they ride it out together.

- stiles finds out that derek has never actually gotten a good blow job bc his peen is that Big™ and he decides to rectify that, and i think stiles find out bc derek never lets him give him one im not sure

- It's an AU where the pack are all friends who are into surfing and are going down the coast (in mexico) finding small beaches and Sterek hooks up but then they get all awkward and depressed until Derek apologizes and clears things up. I remember it had some bi Erica and beach sex.

- I'm looking for a fic where Stiles has trouble accepting compliments from Derek and he buys himself a second-hand leather jacket to feel like part of the pack and Derek compliments it which Stiles thinks is sarcastic because obviously the jacket is old and damaged so basically he thinks everyone pities his loserness. low self-esteem drama ensues.

- I’m looking for a fic where Scott pushes stiles away for his own safety and then stiles befriends Boyd and one day Scott after a fight with some monster? Or big bad of the week? Scott tries to call stiles and his number has changed. Then it’s scott showing up at his house and basically trying to befriend stiles again..I think I remember something about Scott and stiles having plans to blow up stiles piece of crap phone

- a derek hale one shot. the plot is that the reader has a crush on scott and derek decideds to help her forget. i think the fic was called 'make you forget'

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 21: The 100 2x11 Coup De Grace

It’s late, my computer’s more tired than I am (and hardcore hates me and very well may decide to eat this entire post who even knows), and this is probably a bad idea but I’m gonna do it anyway.

Or at least start.

Another episode, or partial episode, of The 100.

This opening torture sequence makes me so uncomfortable. Which like I get is the point but tbh I’m just not into ‘look how unflinching we are at the realities of Bad Stuff.’ Especially when my tired computer is skipping and the sequence becomes, like...trippy. Trippier.

This is probably a super bad idea because my computer literally cannot handle video lol. I am going to restart it.

It’s actually kind of nuts that Monty’s been missing for 2 days and Harper even longer and Jasper and Maya are like ‘this is weird and upsetting but I guess we’ll find them somewhere!!’ Well, Maya more than Jasper. Mount Weather isn’t THAT big.

“You have to look like nothing’s wrong. Like everything’s okay” is so sad. I think it’s situations like that that make S2 my favorite, just b/c I’m a sucker for scenarios of enclosed tension. Like, forget war and blah blah blah, I want this, like... secretive, spying, being spied upon, uncertainty. That’s the real horror in a satisfying way.

Gosh his haircut is awful though.

When does Clarke learn to ride a horse?

I have literally no idea what’s happening bc I rewatch these eps so infrequently.

Clarke just got “yes ma’amed.” I find that semi-hilarious, not because she’s 18 but because you knew Grounders used words like “ma’am.”

I love Clarke’s single-mindedness. “We can’t stop for water. We can’t stop for anything. We’re on a mission. And Bellamy might have called!” AWWNH!Clarke is so OOC lol but she has a different background okay?

I’m not really in the mood to trust Abby about anything. Does she... actually make good decisions? I feel like you’d have to track her through all of the seasons but I am inclined to say...perhaps......not.

So the Mountain Men tried to assassinate Clarke and Lexa. Completely forgot about that.

The introduction of Echo. I just... I just have no opinions on her, I guess. Literally my only opinion is that she should have been the Ice Queen and, not being the Ice Queen, she’s just not interesting to me. I will say, she couldn’t have been in Mount Weather long if she knew who the Sky People are, as they’ve only been on the ground about a month. But also...why does she hate them? They were only fighting with Trikru, and Azgeda territory isn’t even, like, in the vicinity.

I love Dante but he has some major balls looking Jasper in the face and saying he doesn’t know where his friends are. I mean, he doesn’t, because Cage stole them, but how do you just MISPLACE people in a 600,000 square foot bunker? Where COULD they go?

I’m sure I’ve said this before but as someone who went to a high school with a uniform I find it HIGHLY unrealistic that all these teenage boys tuck in their shirts and keep them tucked in all the time without exceptions.

Jasper being protective of Monty <3<3<3.

So it was MW that told them there were no Ark survivors. Did I know that? Did I forget that? Not that it matters as my Clarke/Maya fic is done lol.

Dante is the most Hilarious and Wonderful of all of the attempted father figures on this show I said what I said--they’re all terrible but at least he bring the Weird Father Figure energy to 11. I’ll lie to you but it’s to protect you, call you son (always weird), super good at self-defense--ah-ha! sword at at your neck!

“This is not a toy.” If the sword is in MW it’s probably Important and Famous.

IMO and I completely stand by this assessment, it’s harder for Jasper to be brave than it is for other people, and he was really brave, and it worked, and I’m proud of him.

I realize this is also a problem with the literal world but we actually do know that torture isn’t effective so Indra being all upset that she’s not allowed to torture Emerson is just so....exhausting to me. Like Clarke isn’t suggesting not torturing him bc she loves the high ground and must walk it at all times. She’s suggesting not torturing him bc the last time she tortured someone, she got 0 good information. And even though neither of them know it, it was the shit information garnered from torture that led Finn to TonDC! Also if they had let Emerson die, the Grounder would have also still died--it’s not that they chose to use resources on one and not the other. They had two different types of wounds. I mean I guess if they’d brought them in faster without patching up Emerson in the field? That’s probably what she meant. However the Grounder Death Cult and their complete willingness to declare their fight over at the merest papercut makes me again less sympathetic to this point of view.

I’d literally already forgotten that someone tried to assassinate Clarke like an hour earlier. Abby doesn’t need to be concerned about that, lol, Clarke’s used to it!

Okay first I did have a longstanding headcanon that Echo had a crush on Bellamy going way back--I mean that’s practically canon, yeah?--but now I’m super convinced because in their second scene together, he sacrifices himself for her using information she gave him (that MW takes the loud/strong looking ones), even though she greeted him by spitting in his face, and actually, that was very heroic and selfless of him. I’d fall in love too.

Second, I thought she had no tattoos because she’s a spy or w/e but I CLEARLY see tattoos on her legs. And they are not white either.

I don’t think I ever realized that Maya found Bellamy because she was in the infirmary/harvest chamber looking for Harper and Monty. I do not have a good memory for each scene leading into the next. AND she think she’s found them when she sees how fast the random patient’s treatment is working, because that has to be a Sky Person and she would never guess Bellamy.

They really do just talk about their little torture machine casually all the time. “I need to go over the treatment schedule so I know how many cages to clear.”

Hey so like how did Maya get in if she’s not cleared for this facility?

What a wonderful time to remember yet again that if Bellamy knows who Maya is from her reference to Jasper, Clarke, who saw Maya and Jasper flirt like ONE TIME, must have told him about them, which is cute and funny all at once.

Maya: “I wanted to see what was so special about him, but... he’s dead.” Bellamy: Ah yes! I’m dead! * immediately closes his eyes * Why am I laughing so hard at this?

Good thing they take dead bodies down slowly instead of just thunking them on their heads.

Maya, Bellamy, and Echo v. Lovejoy is a pretty satisfying fight. Also, what did Clarke just say about Emerson talking b/c they saved his life? Echo helps Bellamy because he saved her life. Sometimes you get more flies with honey.

I tend to forget that Bellamy literally strangled this guy with his bare hands. Like it was self-defense to some degree, in that this had to be a fight to the death, but it was also just pure fucking rage. Like he said, he (like Clarke for a while) wants to kill everyone in the Mountain.

And then he thanks Echo and asks Maya if she’s all right. A True Catch. Tbh I could see something forming out of Echo and Bellamy here, but not after some of the later twists and turns in the later narrative.

Honesty, I’ve always loved Maya but... let’s just appreciate her, shall we? That was horrific, seeing someone she knew killed in front of her--and helping, because she knew he was on the wrong side, even though that was the same side she’d been on her whole life. Is she completely in the moment, or is she already seeing that there’s no way out for her here? That the people they’ve brought into the Mountain are really going to destroy it?

Bellamy coming out in Lovejoy’s clothes looks like a kid trying on new clothes at the mall before the new school year. Except he’s just dumped a body down a trash chute.

Like “I’ll come back for you, I promise”--I can see a basis for a ship in that. So far it is 100% built on how Echo would have to be dumb not to fall in love with Bellamy but still.

This Maya and Bellamy scene is amazing. I love every aspect of it.

Lemme just...watch that Jonty hug on repeat.

Honestly they even ended the scene with them walking out the door together even though there’s no way anyone could have moved Harper that fast and there’s also no indication of who moved her or how. Guess she’s...not that important...?? LOL??

Kane has only two modes: fairly ineffectual bastard or utterly ineffectual neo-hippie. “You’re not grasping the situation! We’re nice! Be nice to us!” I probably shouldn’t mock him bc he is me lol, I also would not know what else to say to Emerson other than ‘please????’ but still. Common sense and peace and love would be great but those aren’t shared values I guess.

And then he goes 180 to ‘let’s torture him then?’

What you should be doing is good cop bad cop. Or like, wearing him down with repeated questioning? I heard that’s an effective interrogation technique, although here Emerson has a certain advantage of time and that his interrogators are way more easily annoyed than he is easily worn down or confused.

Anyway I remember now. Clarke ultimately solves this problem with that ultimate BDE moment, sending him with a message and 6 hours of oxygen. She really is just the Smartest.

At least Kane acknowledges that the Chancellorship is a completely random title since Abby literally just kinda stole it? Like Jaha is the rightful Chancellor and Kane is the second-most-rightful Chancellor and she’s just sorta...there? But it also doesn’t matter because as established, Clarke is the one actually in charge.

This Bellamy and Maya elevator scene is also the kind of tension that I like. Is Bellamy...legitimately considering shooting him? In the elevator? That would end badly lol. He has this idea to just start randomly offing people in public/enclosed places, while Lexa is all like ‘we can’t save TonDC bc it would blow Bellamy’s cover!’ like the irony.

I wonder if the MW classes are like...to some end, like, mandatory schooling that must be completed, or if they’re just like for funsies? I think the second, partially because it’s an “Expressionist class” which doesn’t seem like the Three Rs and partially because this dude doesn’t seem upset that Maya didn’t show, like he’s just vaguely wondering where she was.

“We’ve accomplished great things” in that tone is like the MOST American thing I have ever heard. (I can say this because I’m American.)

“We’ve been bleeding people to stay alive for generations. That’s our legacy” is true in the sense that Dante’s line in the sane is...truly in the sand. But also has it been ‘generations’? I’m not sure you understand how time works, show-as-a-whole. I mean maybe this is technically true? They probably discovered Grounders like....50 years ago? Which is sort of “generations.” But when you say it like that it makes it sound way longer.

You wanna root for Dante over Cage because he’s on the side of our heroes but in terms of like bitter logic Cage has the advantage. What they’ve already done and what Dante has managed to rationalize to himself is bad enough. They’re already Doing Bad Things, doing yet more bad things isn’t going to bother anyone. Especially when these extra bad things (1) come out to the same--torturing/killing people and (2) lead them to a permanent home on the ground.

I wonder if Dante/MW justified what they did to Grounders with stories of them being like...irradiated mutants. Like literally inhuman. So it ‘doesn’t count.’ I mean objectively they’re wrong of course but I mean in their heads. And then for Dante the line is so obvious between killing radiation casualties and killing just normal humans like themselves, whereas for Cage--who sees the Grounders more because of Cerberus, and knows they don’t look that much different, that they are also just people underneath the masks and big clothes--sees no difference between the Grounders and the Sky People, and if he’s already sullied himself by using one set, he can continue sullying himself, for a greater cause, by using the other set. It’s just a question of which story you’re telling yourself and how much you’re willing to lie.

The plotting of this season is, overall, very good. Especially in the second half.

I think Clarke’s default mode when stressed is order giving. It’s part of the control thing. She’s okay if she has everything under control, and if she knows everything, and when she has all that knowledge and control it just...spills out of her, directing people with what they need to do and where they need to go.

Whereas Raven’s in full ‘falling out of love with Clarke’ mode.

Also I think Clarke is very quick to comfort people and she is genuine in this but because she ALSO has her agenda and her strident tone and her controlled demeanor, it can look like manipulation. Or at least, if I were her friend, I would always wonder if she really cared or if she just wanted me to calm down so my emotions weren’t in the way of The Plan.

My 15 second Raven, Clarke, and Octavia scene. Lemme just rewatch this a bunch of times too.

“Jackson found genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone born on the Ark.” Remember when people were theorizing that this was a big deal in some way? The Arkers were genetically modified to withstand space? I remember that being a theory. Anyway in retrospect, it’s just a Plot Device. Possibly a Pseudo-Science Plot Device I would not know.

Never mind. “We were genetically engineered. They weren’t.” So it is in fact canon, just meaningless canon. HOW IS THIS SOME RANDOM THROWAWAY LINE?

Clarke’s feral moments are the best.

It’s cute how Abby continues to think Clarke isn’t in charge.

Having Bell run into Lovejoy’s son is cheap but effective. I still remember that scene and I can really feel the full effect on him through Bob’s acting and the music. I also always remember that line “What did you expect you’d find here?” Because the answer is obviously ‘monsters.’ They had their simple narrative too: about how MW were the bad guys and thus they could destroy them all and it would be vengeful and feel good. But it’s more complicated than that: everyone in the Mountain is complicit in terrors. But many of them passively so. Bellamy was ready to kill all of them, and so was Clarke, but he changes his mind based on this encounter, tells her about it over the radio, and makes HER change her mind and in fact change her entire plan, by the time she explains it in 2x15.

And it’s sad for Maya too because Bellamy is being aided by her but she is still a Mountain Person. It’s easy to say ‘she’s an exception, she’s Jasper’s friend, she’s our friend.’ But she’s done everything he hates the Mountain for. If the whole Mountain is evil, she’s evil. And to the extent you can’t be both pro-MW and pro-Sky People, she’s put in this impossible position of choosing sides, or trying to switch sides abruptly. Bellamy sees that, and it’s like yet one more additional layer to his guilt over what he did, because he sees a new angle to how it affected Maya,  without whom he’d be dead.

Jonty the leader couple. And Jasper’s face when Monty says “We’re not safe here.”

S2 is my favorite bc of plotting like this episode: just as the 47 are about to leave, Cage stages his coup. Just as Bellamy is about to see his friends, the doors lock and they’re trapped. The moment when Jasper sees Bellamy--with absolutely no reason to believe this could even be possible. In trying to plan fics that use S2 I tend to get confused about the plot bc it goes back and forth and circles around a lot, but in actually watching it, it’s quite effective, and I think part of the circling confusion is just bc there are so many moving parts, people need to be in the right places at the right times, meet and separate at the right moments, so it can read awkwardly in summary. But they did a good job ultimately, I think.

Another thing about S2 generally is that even though it’s much more expansive than S1 in terms of locations and number of characters and groups of characters, ultimately almost everything revolves around one story (except for the CoL setup stuff), and 2 main locations that have meaning, with various points in between. So it is more concise and more centralized and more meaningful than later seasons, which become increasingly spread out and disjointed. Or so I try to explain to myself at 1am.

Yaaaay emotional Princess Mechanic and then Bravenlarke. I live for these moments when characters are just like...emotional together.

I don’t know if I find it realistic that Clarke would be like ‘it’s over’ so fast but nevertheless I like Raven and Bellamy picking her back up.

Clarke’s relieved face...she’s in love.

Bellamy: I’m fine. Me: He’s a liar!!! But I guess they can talk about his emotions later.

When they’re all together, they’re all better. Like immediately. Even Clarke’s “Raven’s going to help you” with a little look to her, like, this isn’t an order, and Raven nods....

I love that Bellamy took Maya’s expression to mean “It’s not a problem” when it quite obviously meant “It’s a huge problem.” But also Clarke smiled for .05 seconds so I think she knew he was a-lying. This could be a sitcom if it were a totally different show.

Weirdly, I watched part of 2x15 again for a fic I decided not to write atm and...they don’t actually use the Grounders as a Trojan Horse army. Their plan NOT to kill everyone including the kids meant basically that they used their real army as a distraction and then just took the inside-Grounders out the back way. Or that was the idea. Which in retrospect is actually kind of disappointing.

Clarke’s power walk through the hallway with her Grounder Entourage is just so....satisfying. This is the emotional payoff that got me into this show.

Clarke just literally staging a coup against her own mother, using the Grounder force that sees her as a leader, is so.... I feel like I have never appreciated it before this rewatch. I think in the past I found it kind of annoying tbh. But this time I like it a lot more. I like Clarke’s just insane levels of confidence and self-assurance. It is a good look.

First of all the parallel to the Wallaces. But more importantly, I always wanted this big story line of Delinquents Versus Arkers that never fully came as I wanted it, but this is pretty close, where she’s just used to being in charge by now, so you know what, she is. And the only thing she needs to make her desire for power real is muscle, which she has, thanks to Lexa, so she uses it. It’s also very satisfying. And should ultimately have been the groundwork for the delinquents to form a separate community but WHAT DO I KNOW?

All that said, and this isn’t contradictory, but Clarke picks like the MOST inflammatory way to go about her plan. She just does it, she gives no explanation, she stages a showdown at the gate with her own Mom the Chancellor. There is a subtler way of doing this. But I like that she didn’t do subtle because it’s IC for her. It’s IC for her age (who is more Dramatique than a teen?) and it’s IC for her place in her hero’s arc: under L’s influence, she’s becoming big-headed, leaning into the sin of pride, here in the form of “I do can do no wrong,” and by 2x16 in the form of “I can do no right, no one has ever been more wrong than I, no one has ever been more sorrowful than I, let me perform penance in the woods.”

Pride: the most annoying deadly sin.

Anyway.

And Kane, who always bows to the Alpha Female in the room, immediately enables Clarke’s Drama.

“Let our people go and we’ll let you live. It’s just that simple.”

“The Grounder army is bigger than you think and the acid fog can’t hurt them” is honestly a bluff though? Because again, they do not use or even PLAN to use the inside Grounders and they DO plan to take out the acid fog so??? I guess the point, if she was protecting Bellamy, WAS the bluff, WAS the distraction.

I think it was unnecessary to take out his O2 but I guess she’s really just showing off, which again is IC and I guess has the purpose of showing MW she means business and is Not To Be Fucked With. Still, it is important that her message make it to MW since it’s the distraction Bellamy asked for, so it seems like something of a risk to make it hard for the messenger to arrive home safely.

I do like that she gets to use that classic retort “That sounds like a you problem.”

And so.... I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago, and my power is flickering. Time for bed. The end, goodnight.

[janamelie]

LGBT+ Characters

What This Isn’t

A claim of “proof” of the sexuality and / or gender identity of any of these characters.  We don’t need that or anything else to “justify” shipping.

What This Is

A reference post to collate instances in canon which could indicate LGBT+ characters.  In the case of regulars, I won’t include every instance as it would simply take too long.

Rimmer

As I was saying… :p

Honestly, Rimmer is so obviously LGBT+ to me that I don’t know where to start.  How about his reaction to Ace in “Dimension Jump”?

RIMMER: "Commander Rimmer!" I ask you.  "Ace!" Barf city.  I bet you anything he wears women's underwear.  They're all the same, this type, you know, Hurly-burly, rough-n-tumble macho marines in public, and behind closed doors he'll be parading up and down in taffeta ballgowns, drinking mint juleps, whipping the houseboy.

KRYTEN: Sir, he's you!  It's just that your lives diverged at a certain point in time.

RIMMER: Yes, I went into the gents and he went the other way.

KRYTEN: I assume, sir, you are making fatuous references to his sexuality.  If I may point out, if --

Or how about Low Rimmer?  Surely Rob and Doug could have got their point across a little less graphically?

Or if you prefer something less rapey, this passage from “IWCD”.  Unlike the show, Rob and Doug had more time and leeway to explore the characters and this is what they chose to include for Rimmer:

“Rimmer began to regret his outburst. He didn’t like to see his other self upset, and he even contemplated briefly going up to him and giving him a manly embrace. But in a brief moment of homosexual panic, he thought his double might get the wrong idea. Not that he would, of course, because he was him and he knew for a fact he wasn’t that way sexually tilted; so obviously his double wasn’t and obviously his double would know that he wasn’t either, and it was simply a manly embrace meant in a sort of mano a mano kind of way…Perhaps he was tired…Two or three days in bed and he’d be his old self again…Who cared if his copy saw it as a sign of weakness? He’d suggest it anyway.” Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Grant/Naylor, pg 233.

And this from the end of the “Better Than Life” novel, when Holly - whose IQ has been restored - comes up with a way to bring Lister back from the dead (no, not as a hologram):

“Rimmer stood in the hatchway and his face yielded to a grin, which in turn gave way to laughter.  Not his normal hollow braying empty laughter, this was an altogether different noise.  This was a noise his vocal cords had never been called on to make before.

It was the laughter of joy.”

Better Than Life, Grant/Naylor, pg 218.

I know some fans read Rimmer as asexual and you can certainly make an argument for that, most obviously in “Marooned” where he describes his younger self as not “particularly highly sexed”.  Of course, that wouldn’t preclude him also being homoromantic or biromantic.

Lister

No-one’s denying Lister’s obvious attraction to and affection for women, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be bisexual or pansexual.  In fact, his “I’m not gay!” protestations in “Duct Soup” is a fairly common way for people attracted to more than one gender to describe themselves if they don’t feel comfortable using labels.  Given that he was talking to Chloe!Kochanski to whom he’s attracted, it makes sense that he’d prevaricate like this.

And then of course, in the very next episode “Blue”, he dreams about kissing Rimmer.  It’s not only the fact of this, it’s the subsequent scene drawing a direct comparison between him missing Rimmer and Kochanski missing her Dave - her boyfriend.  And despite the ending of this episode, when Lister actually meets Rimmer again, he’s delighted.  Until he realises it’s not HIS Rimmer and even so, he gets used to nano-Rimmer and they eventually become quite chummy.

Not forgetting the chemistry between him and Ace, of course.

Kryten

I know he's a mechanoid, but no-one has any problem reading his relationship with Mechanoid - and later Blob - Camille as romantic and Camille literally says herself that both she and her husband Hector are actually androgynous, which makes Kryten - at the very least - panromantic.

And that’s before we get to his very obvious love for Lister which he states himself in “Back In The Red”.

Holly

Holly was actually conceived as a female character and became male due to Norman Lovett’s original casting.  Sources: “Stasis Leaked” by Smegazine writer Jane Killick and “The Unofficial Red Dwarf Programme Guide” by Smegazine writers Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons.

With Hattie’s replacement casting and later Norman’s return, Rob and Doug may not have intended to create a trans or genderfluid character, but that’s what they ended up doing.

Holly is also bisexual - male Holly was attracted to Hilly and female Holly to Ace.

George McIntyre

It was actually Rob and Doug’s audio commentary on the pilot version of “The End” on “The Bodysnatcher Collection” which alerted me to this possibility.  I know it’s a stretch but I’m including it precisely because I’m indifferent to George as a character and it makes no difference to me whether someone believes this one or not.

During George’s speech at his “Welcome back” party, he says “I don’t want you to think of me as someone who’s dead, more as someone who’s no longer a threat to your marriages - I think Joe knows what I’m talking about!”

We see a man and a woman laughing and the woman playfully pokes the man in the arm.  He stops laughing and looks a bit sheepish.

Rob and Doug comment confusedly to the effect of “Shouldn’t it be the other way round?  This is one of the things we had no control over at this stage.”

Come on, Rob and Doug.  Not only does this scene appear intact in the final televised version of “The End”, you also included extra background on George in “Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers”, showing the events leading up to his death.  Unlike the hologram he replaces, Frank Saunders, there is no mention of George having a wife or indeed any partner, so as far I’m concerned, we shippers can read whatever we choose into this scene.  We would regardless, but the way canon leaves it is particularly open-ended.

Deb Lister and Arlene Rimmer (“Parallel Universe”)

See previous entries.  If their male counterparts are LGBT+ then so are they, plus I always got that vibe from the performances anyway.

Camille

Yes, everyone uses female pronouns for her as that’s how she presents to the crew, but she says herself: “We’re androgynous, but I suppose you could call [Hector] my husband.”

Noel Coward Waxdroid (“Meltdown”)

Mr Coward was gay in real life and his fictional incarnation here greets Rimmer with “Delighted to meet you, dear boy!”  I rest my case.

Nirvanah Crane

And arguably the entire crew of the Holoship according to her speech: “It's a ship regulation that we all have sexual congress at least twice a day.  It's a health rule … Here it is considered the height of bad manners to refuse an offer of sexual coupling … We are holograms.  There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.  That is why in our society we only believe in sex -- constant, guilt-free sex.”

Does that sound as though they’re fussy about the genders of their partners?  It certainly doesn’t to me.  So:

Captain Hercule Platini

Commander Randy Navarro

Commander Natalina Pushkin

Commander Binks

Sam Murray

From the Series V DVD booklet:

“Briefly revived in “Holoship”, it came as a surprise that Sam was male.  In the original pilot script - and Series 1′s deleted funeral scene - deceased crew member “Sam Murray” is said to be dating “Rick Thesen”.  Possibly Red Dwarf’s first gay couple?”

Cop (“Back To Reality”)

I’m sure it wasn’t written as such and maybe he didn’t intend to, but the way Lenny Von Dohlen plays his character’s reaction to the Voter Colonel just pings my gaydar.

Frank Todhunter (“The End”)

I know the conversation in “Duct Soup” (which also includes a reference to a gay crew member nicknamed “Bent Bob” *cringe*) where Kochanski tells Lister that the Todhunter in her dimension was gay is played off as something she made up to take Lister’s mind off his claustrophobia, but she never actually says as much.  There’s nothing to say that at least part of what she was saying wasn’t true.

Ackerman (Series VIII)

In the Series VIII DVD documentary, actor Graham McTavish says he was playing Ackerman as someone who enjoys sex with women “or at a pinch, men dressed as women”.  So onto this list he goes.

Big Meat (“Only The Good”)

I don’t blame you if you’ve blocked this one out as I find the scene almost unwatchable, but he’s the big prisoner who takes to the idea of being Cat’s “bitch” unexpectedly quickly.

Katerina Bartikovsky (“Back To Earth”)

Credit to @clueingforbeggs for noticing that in “Pete Part 1” Ackerman claims to have been “having jiggy-jiggy with the Science Officer’s wife” and connecting that with Katerina being a Science Officer.  There’s nothing to say that the Joy Squid didn’t conjure up the image of an actual crew member.

But maybe the ship has more than one Science Officer?  Well, the way it’s said makes it sound as though there is only one but in “Holoship” Kryten gives Rimmer a mind patch from two officers, one of whom is Science Officer Buchan.  There is no mention of Buchan’s gender so who’s to say they aren’t also female?

Begg Chief (“Entangled”)

“We prefer the ship of green.  And the sexy light man with the lady legs so long and luscious!”

Chancellor Wednesday (“The Beginning”)

Actor Alex Hardy says in Series X DVD doc “We’re Smegged” that he was playing the relationship between his character and Dominator Zlurth with a homoerotic undercurrent and you can see it subtly in his performance.

Dolphy (“Cured”)

All I’ll say about this one is that if Messalina had behaved towards Lister as Dolphy does in this episode, nobody would have doubted that she was into him.

Ziggy (“Timewave”)

Proof that LGBT+ characters in this show work a lot better when Doug isn’t intentionally writing them as such.  Sorry.

Feel free to add any examples I may have missed.

@lord-valery-mimes  @aziraphale-lesbian   @notalwaysweak  @feline-ranger  @downonthepharm-red-dwarf  @hologrammette  @rosecathy  @cazflibs​

[someobscurereference]

Do you have a thintg (eg an AU) that you think about (A lot) but probably wouldn't write because it feels too self indulgent? If so, what is it? :3

Lol, is this because I said this recent fic was really self-indulgent in the notes? I appreciate you asking, anon ;D

At first I misread the question and thought you meant just a trope that was indulgent that I hadn’t written because it felt self-indulgent, which was difficult because there are a lot. But then I realized you said an AU specifically and that narrows it down a lot, actually! And the answer is still yes!

Do you remember this post about the Trio not having friends or even being friends with each other in a modern world? I was directly thinking of this AU when writing it. Keep in mind this is self-indulgent and corny as hell, and I’m very aware of that.

This fic opens up in a modern au where the the Trio are still teenagers (which is already a strange start for me because usually I write them as full adults). As mentioned in the above post, they’re not friends. And they don’t have a lot (or any?) close friends, actually. But mainly the focus here is on Owain because he’s my default protag and just who I happened to choose for this.

So he’s like… 16? About that age? And doesn’t really have any close friends. Which feels like canon, tbh. The war isn’t dragging anyone together. He gets on well enough with Lucina and Brady and Noire, but they have their own lives too. He and Cynthia used to be childhood friends but not anymore. He and Inigo actively fight each other and don’t get along. (Maybe their parents are aware of this, maybe not.) He and Severa are kind of okay? But she’s prickly and he’s weird and it’s not like they’re hanging out anytime soon. So Owain is 16, going to high school, doing his thing, maybe being teased on the side for being as lame as he is, and probably a little lonely. Maybe a lot lonely, sometimes. His family supports him pretty well, so there’s at least that, but, you know. He could be doing better. That’s just kind of how it is being 16.

Owain craves adventure and maybe some closer friends. So… For some reason in this AU I keep imagining the city they all live in being on the edge of some kind of shrubland or even desert type area? When thinking of the type of area this would be, I just kept thinking of Laurent getting lost in the desert for 4 years. Maybe it’s like that. Maybe not. Either way, outside of town is probably hilly and has a lot of craggy places and ditches and whatnot too. It’s not really a place people hang out unless you’re trying to have a party in the middle of nowhere so no cops show up or are trying to study what lizards live out there. Pretty barren and not very great.

But Owain likes exploring and getting lost in his imagination, and after one bad day, despite hearing cautionary tales from Laurent and his mother and whoever else previously, he goes to hang out there. He’s done it before.

Except this time he falls into a ditch or makes a wrong move or does something wrong, and this time Owain really hurts himself. Like, sprains an ankle and maybe knocks himself out type bad. Nothing broken but ow, does it sure feel like it. Maybe he even lays there deliriously for a moment staring up at the sun before closing his eyes because he can’t keep them open any longer.

When he wakes up again it’s been a few hours and he’s been moved somewhere else. Somewhere out of the sun. He feels dusty and still kind of hurts, but his biggest concern comes when he sits up and looks around and see’s there’s a fucking wolf sitting there. Which is already crazy enough because there aren’t supposed to be any wolves where they live. And also Owain is definitely going to be eaten.

But the wolf doesn’t move and Owain eventually realizes the wolf is actually a just a big dog, and that helps his fear a bit. Big dogs aren’t wolves. Though it is kind of strange that its all the way out here in the middle of nowhere, but so is Owain.

So after establishing the dog isn’t going to eat him, he tries to stand up and it hurts but he can kind of manage. The dog sees him struggling and gets up in Owain’s space. This freaks Owain out for a minute again until it becomes apparent the dog just wants Owain to kind of lean on him and not fall over. It’s big enough for it anyway.

So Owain is figuring out this dog is smart and probably likes people if it knew to drag him out of the sun, and he likes animals too. It’s still a little surprising when he pets the dog and asks “What’s your name?” while already planning to come up with one of his own and the dog leads him deeper into the outcropping of rocks instead of out and Owain sees the name “Anankos” scratched into the rock via… clawmarks? No way, Owain thinks, it must have been a stone. He’s kind of disappointed he doesn’t get to name the dog himself, but “Anankos” sounds like a pretty good name anyway. And if someone else helped raise a dog smart enough to help Owain out when he really needed it, he’s grateful, even if that means someone else did find the dog first.

He makes it home with the help of Anankos the big dog. The sun is setting, and Anankos takes him as far as the edge of the town. He doesn’t go any farther, which is fine because Owain can make it home from here, even though he is sad they have to part ways. He limps home and Lissa fusses over him being late and being bruised, and Owain plays down what happened and doesn’t mention Anankos at all because then his mother would never let him go back ever. But he’s fine, everything’s fine, and the evening passes without much issue.

It’s probably a weekend so Owain either goes back that Sunday or the next week and looks for Anankos the dog. He’s hopeful. And either he’s lucky or Anankos must be aware of him too, because out in the outskirts of town, they do find each other again. Owain brought dog-appropriate snacks and some meat. Anankos is appreciative. Owain is happy they’ve run into each other again, but he is curious why Anankos’s owner isn’t keeping better track of him. Unless Anankos goes home at night? Or doesn’t have an owner anymore? He doesn’t know what to make of it. But he’s happy.

So Owain’s closest friend becomes a possibly wild dog named Anankos that found him out in the dry outskirts of his city. Anankos isn’t a person, but he’s smart as hell. Like, really smart. Sometimes Owain wonders if Anankos really understands him sometimes. 

Sometimes Anankos goes off on his own for a while and he won’t go into town with Owain (so much for taking him home, even if Lissa would allow it, which. Probably not), but Owain makes the most of it anyway. He has a friend now. There’s a Owain when he’s at school and there’s Owain when he gets to run out into the wild and make up stories and do teenage boy stuff with a dog so big it seems like a wolf.

And from here on the details get fuzzier because, again, this is so self-indulgent I’ve never planned on explaining this to anyone and thus only have shattered shards of scenes that I kind of want to see rather than a real plot. But I imagine there’s an actual villain in this story too. Like, between Owain and Inigo fighting, between regular teenage drama and whatnot, Anankos really is the reincarnated version of our Anankos from fe14 looking for Corrin again. Not because there’s any great evil on the rise but just because he wants to see them the way he never got to before, even if he is a dog and isn’t really their father this time. (Or is he? But also he’s a fucking wolf dog. That can be figured out later.) But he remembers the Trio too, though they don’t remember him, and he likes Owain enough that Anankos wants to make sure he’s okay too. He’d probably be fine with Inigo and Severa too (debatable if they’d be fine with him, lol) but they don’t hang out in the middle of nowhere like Owain, so they don’t run into each other.

So anyway, Anankos the dragon/wolf is looking for Corrin. I think the Nohr sibs and Garon and maybe even Iago? Are here too, but I haven’t decided how yet. I think at least Iago is evil. Maybe Garon too. I imagined Owain getting into trouble with somebody evil like that cornering him and Anankos, in the city for the first time ever, fucking kills Iago to protect him. Which leaves Owain shaken as hell and also some people are probably freaking the fuck out that a wolf came out of nowhere and just killed a guy??? But Owain defends Anankos by saying Owain has been taking care of him, he did it to protect Owain, that guy was trying to kidnap him, etc. And Lissa is thrown for a loop because apparently her son has been hanging out with a fucking wolf this whole time but it??? Protected him?? But also that’s a WOLF? (”Mom, that’s not a wolf. I mean, I wish he was because that would be super cool, but…” “Owain, I Know What A Wolf Looks Like.”) (Suffice to say he’s at least in a little trouble.) It’s a whole Thing.

And also maybe Inigo and Owain’s tension keeps building up between their fights and teasing, and one time Inigo tries to be actually genuine when he sees Owain has been having a bad day and asks what’s wrong and Owain snaps at him, “What do you even care? You don’t even like me.” And Inigo feels kind of bad and Owain is just upset and they Don’t Talk for a bit after that. 

But also!! When Inigo gets in trouble because of Evil Plotline Thing Here, Owain is alerted either via magic?? Anankos’s magic?? Instinct? Anankos? Coincidence? And comes through to save him. And probably Severa gets involved at some point too because she’s the third of the Awakening Trio, obviously.

I feel like Nohr sibs (though maybe Corrin comes in earlier) are late game stuff but I can’t quite decide how yet.

That’s all I basically have for the moment, but this AU kind of blurs in with one or two other modern AUs I have going on in my head atm so it’s hard to separate the details entirely. I know Anankos being a human-intelligence level wolf (bc he is/was a dragon in his past life) that Owain (who remembers nothing of FE14) makes friends with in the desert is kind of cheesy and dumb, but I like it anyway. I can’t imagine ever writing this unless the details for this AU get filled in significantly but still. I like thinking about it from time to time. 

Thanks for asking! Sorry this went on so long, lol. I appreciate the question though, anon! :D 

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (33/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

Masterpost

Chapter Thirty Two

Steve felt like he was being backed up into a corner and there was no way out. He hated it, hated the way that Tony was looking at him with expectation as if he had found the perfect way to make this work but Steve knew that he couldn’t do it and go against everything he believed in. He couldn’t sign The Accords and go after Bucky because he just couldn’t know where that might lead or what they might want from him or Bucky and Tony was not in the know either, no matter how much he promised Steve.

Tony’s words were nice and they painted a nice picture of everything working out but they were just words and no matter Tony’s intentions, Steve just couldn’t trust that Bucky would be treated fairly. Steve just couldn’t gamble away Bucky’s life and freedom because it was Tony that was asking.

“I can’t,” he whispered and before Tony could respond pressed his lips hard against Tony’s, surprising him enough to make him back up a step and almost lose his balance, but Steve caught him in a quick motion and pulled him flush against him. Tony’s hands fell to his chest but didn’t push him away.

Tony didn’t fight the kiss. He kissed back just as hard as if it would convince Steve to change his mind, his arms wrapping around Steve’s neck. When Steve pulled back, Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he looked beautifully dazed and he let his hands hang over Steve’s shoulders.

“You can’t just--” Tony said.

Steve grinned a little and pecked Tony’s spit wet lips quickly before drawing him back into a kiss.

“I have to do things my way,” Steve whispered after the kiss was over.

Tony let his eyes close. “You are so frustrating, Rogers,” he muttered and then bit down on his lower lip in a way that seemed more inviting than anything before he opened his eyes again and just stared at Steve for a long moment before he dropped his face a little and sighed.

“Whatever you do, I’m not condoning it and I’m not happy about it but I can’t stop you,” Tony said. “I just -- I hope you know what you’re doing because the last thing I want is to lose you, Steve, not now, and there are a million ways that this can go wrong and I don’t know if I will--”

“If you’ll be able to help,” Steve finished for him and let the corners of his lips go up. He didn’t say what he wanted to say about how this was exactly why The Accords would never be the right way of things. He didn’t want to argue again.

Tony kissed him, then, a mixture of hard and gentle as if he were trying to convey everything in that singular kiss and Steve just let Tony take the lead.

On the afternoons when he went over to Ned’s house or had Ned came over, Peter always felt obligated to still go out patrolling after Ned left and he and May had finished dinner. He just felt weird not going out especially since it was getting darker later in the day.

May tended to go to bed on the early side, and even if she didn’t, she usually left Peter alone after he’d gone into his bedroom. So it meant that it was the perfect time to sneak out and do a quick patrol. Peter had gotten really good at getting out through the window. He tended to keep those patrols quick mostly because he did need to get some sleep before school the next morning and even though he was Spider-Man he definitely needed the sleep.  

Taking his phone with him meant that he could also do minor homework or email Mr. Stark if the need arose. It really hadn’t in a while since Mr. Stark had still not answered his last email about the presentation and Peter hadn’t found any other reason to email him.

For a moment Peter had thought about asking him how to deal with finding out that his father wasn’t his father but he’d chickened out of sending that because he didn’t want to explain all of it to Mr. Stark or really anyone. Even talking to Ned who already knew about the punnett squares and the result that Peter had gotten was hard.

After he was sure that May was in bed that night, Peter snuck out and promised himself to return in an hour or two.

Peter was sneaking out. May was well aware that Peter thought he was being careful and covering his tracks, but May had caught on ever since the night that she walked past his bedroom and the light was on but she didn’t hear any of the usual noises like Peter humming to whatever music he was listening to or the flip of the pages of his text books or whatever he was tinkering with. So she had checked in to see if he had fallen asleep and left his light on, but instead the window was open a crack and Peter was gone.

May had freaked out for a moment and her hand had been halfway to her phone to call the cops before she stopped herself not sure if the cops would even be able to do anything. She just couldn’t believe it. Peter sneaking out sounded crazy. Sure Peter was a teenager, but he was a trustworthy and dependable one. He was responsible and nothing like May had been at his age. Which was good. It meant that Peter couldn’t be getting into too much trouble.

Talking herself down took some time, but reminding herself of the things she had gotten up to at his age made her feel better because Peter was better than her. It was in these moments that she wished Ben was still at her side.

Ben would have known exactly what to do. He probably would have left the house to find Peter himself and then he wouldn’t have even yelled at Peter despite how angry and worried it would have made him. But May couldn’t do that. She would go out and probably have little luck in finding him and then wouldn’t even know what to do even if she did find him. So, instead she had stayed up listening for Peter to return and when he did, she breathed a sigh of relief.

It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. Ben was gone and Peter was changing and May didn’t know what to make of it. Nothing was ever going to be the same and May was just waiting for the next time that Tony Stark asked to meet Peter because she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep him away. Peter was older and he probably needed Tony more than ever if he was sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and May just couldn’t be in the way any longer even if it meant that Peter would find out the truth and be upset with her.

Every night she sat in her room and waited to hear Peter leave and return. Or to hopefully not hear it. After a few weeks of it she was growing tired of it and tired of how Peter seemed to be keeping something from her and not showing any sign that he would tell her or explain why leaving the house in the middle of the night was helping him.

She resolved to talk to him that night after he got back from Ned’s, but it went the same way as every night and so May decided she would do it the next day.

Tony regretted letting Steve and Sam go with Sharon afterwards because the longer he thought about it the more combinations of how badly it could all go came to him and Tony just knew that things weren’t going to go well even if he had no way of knowing exactly how things would end. He didn’t know if Steve would get to Bucky first or what he might do if he did or didn’t. He didn’t know if Bucky was in his right mind and he didn’t even know what the Task Force had planned for Bucky if they did end up bringing him in or what Steve hoped to do if he got to Bucky first.

Tony didn’t leave London immediately, not sure where he would be needed. He hadn’t brought the Iron Man suit on the trip because he hadn’t presumed that he would need it but Tony didn’t want to fly back to New York just to then get called into Vienna or the Task Force Headquarters in Berlin. So, he figured he’d wait it out.

In the meanwhile he checked in with Vision who had stayed behind in part because he didn’t want to leave Wanda alone and also because they had all felt it was better that he not alarm the public with his presence even if he was getting better at making himself look less purple.

“We’re doing just fine, Tony,” Vision said and it still weirded Tony out when Vision used his first name because Jarvis never would have.

“I want you to do me a favor,” Tony said, thinking on the spot, “keep Wanda there at the compound. Things are -- they’re a little complicated right now and I would rather nothing else go wrong. I suppose you know what happened in Vienna, it means that things are delicate right now and she hasn’t signed The Accords and we still haven’t figured out that Visa problem.”

It had frustrated Tony to no end when immigration decided that they needed Wanda to jump through a million hoops to be able to stay and live in the United States. The fact that Sokovia was basically in ruins and that Wanda didn’t even have access to her own birth certificate had complicated matters even more to the point where some people were calling her presence in Lagos reason enough to not grant her any legal status because she had left the country without permission. It was a whole mess and Tony was sure that Wanda was not even aware of half of it because they hadn’t made it seem like a big deal to her and passed it on to lawyers that were supposed to fix the problem but just hadn’t been able to. It didn’t seem to matter that she was an Avenger.

“I suppose that would be best,” Vision said.

“Yes. Thank you. With her temperament it would also be best if she didn’t know you are keeping her there.”

“Yes,” Vision said.

Tony cut off the call and instead called Natasha again. She picked up after a few rings.

“How is it?” Tony asked.

“Bad,” Natasha said, “this place is chaos and now it looks like they’re saying that Bucky caused it. How’s Steve holding up? He’s probably a mess. Peggy dying and now this. It’s like his whole past is going up in flames.”

Tony let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, you could say that. He’s heading to Vienna now, actually.”

Natasha cursed in Russian. “That is not going to help anything. ”

“No,” Tony said, “but I couldn’t stop him and short of somehow knocking him out he was going to do this. It’s Bucky we’re talking about here.”

“More reason for him to stay away. He doesn’t think when it comes to Barnes.”

Tony let out a sigh. “Yeah. He doesn’t.”

“I gotta go, Tony.” Natasha said.

“Sure, sure,” Tony said.

Tony laid down on the bed and he tried to rub at his temples where a headache was starting to form. He didn’t know how long he laid there but at some point he must have just managed to fall asleep because the next thing he knew was his phone ringing again and it was dark out.

“Stark,” Natasha said, “it’s probably best if you get into Berlin. The Task Force is trying to bring Barnes in and that’s where they’ll be taking him when they catch him. Hopefully it’ll be alive because I don’t think they actually care as long as they catch him at this point. Steve and Sam are trying to get to him first, but who knows if they’ll succeed. I’m heading there now myself with Sharon but I figured you’d want to be there.”

“You figured correctly,” Tony said and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll see you there.”

He called for a car and freshened up a bit even if he didn’t change out of his black suit despite how wrinkled it had gotten. It was lucky that he had packed another suit for Vienna and it was still on it’s hanger and ready for Tony to take with him. He gathered his things and checked himself out as fast as he could and then had the driver take him to the London SI building.

Tony had never expected that he would ever actually need to use it, but he was glad that the helicopter at the London offices was still there and ready for him. It was just too bad that Tony had never equipped this particular one with an Iron Man suit like the one back in New York. He really was flying in without much to work with other than a watch and his brilliant intellect. Tony just hoped that it would be enough.

Flying by helicopter was not Tony’s favorite form of travel, but it was faster than getting on a commercial flight into Berlin. Not to mention that the helicopter could take him directly to the CIA task force headquarters without any trouble.

Chapter Thirty Four

[sxveme-2]

Strawberry Pancakes // Bucky Barnes

MASTERLIST

SEQUEL TO BLUEBERRY PANCAKES

DESCRIPTION: Lily Osborne and Bucky Barnes were never blessed with an easy relationship. Whether it be emotional trauma, or Lily's parents trying to be evil scientists. But they somehow made it work, after coming together once again after the birth of Lily's nephew. They were smooth sailing for a while. He proposed, they got engaged, but have yet to marry. While also juggling raising a teenager together as Hunter reaches the age of 16 now. All the while struggling with adjusting to their new lives in Long Island, balancing careers. Meanwhile, Lily struggles with the new found fame of being the fiancé of The White Wolf; and handling the tabloids critiques on her life and gossip columns digging up any information they can on her. While trying to maintain a low profile; and handle her life as it is. And becoming parents. Lily for the second time, while Bucky, well, this is his first attempt at a biological child. All the while a new threat from their past rises up once again, blind siding the family. Bringing forward old hatchets that had been buried, and putting their relationship at risk once more.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

STATUS: Unedited

NOTES: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Seven: The One With Her New Neighbour

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1637

   Lily remembered the moment that she saw Scott alone with a woman at a party. Gen had sent her a picture from a party she attended, catching her best friends husband. Lily was home with seven-year-old Hunter, helping him with his homework and watching kid’s shows. The blonde remembered both her world crumbling around her and relief draping over her. As though she was glad that it was finally over.

Over the years, their relationship became more strained. They only ever spoke when it came to Hunter or when they were trading days. Lily mostly communicated with him through Mary, though. But now, it was through Priya.

Priya was kind enough. Lily and she weren’t friends, nor were they acquaintances. The only reason they spoke was to let Scott know anything about Hunter, talk about the PTA, or setting up when Scott can see Hunter for his birthday. Lily didn’t want communication with Scott or anyone in his life. She had her own family and her own life. She survived him. Lily came out on the other side of their marriage and prospered. She survived him.

And now he was standing at her door, a crooked smile on his face and fiance on his arm. Lily could barely process the fact that her ex-husband dared to show his face on her property. If the blonde wasn’t as docile as she was, she was sure that she would have thrown a shoe. But she didn’t.

“Whose there, doll?” Bucky asked as he walked up behind Lily, placing a hand on her waist before looking out the door, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Is that Bucky Barnes?” Priya gasped, placing her hand over her mouth, “Baby, you didn’t tell me your ex was related to him!”

“Engaged to,” Bucky snapped, taking a few steps forward, “Now you have thirty seconds to explain why the hell you’re on my porch.”

Lily pursed her lips and stepped forward as well, shutting the door behind her as she rested a hand on Bucky’s arm. She knew how much her fiance truly hated Scott and just how badly he wanted to beat the living daylights out of him. So many nights, Bucky would lay with his head on Lily’s chest and tell her how much he hates what Scott did to her. She would simply listen and play with his hair, smiling about the passion he had.

It made her feel loved. She felt cared for with Bucky. Even if it was from him telling her how much he wanted to kill her son’s biological father. Those were the nights Lily would promise that they would submit the adoption paperwork. Yet, many years later, the two still haven’t done it. There was no real rush to do it. Lily wondered if there was a hidden reason why she and Bucky hadn’t submitted it yet.

“Calm down, Cyborg,” Scott snapped, his own anger matching Bucky’s, “No need to go all… never mind. “

“Watch it,” Lily warned, standing next to Bucky and staring angrily at her ex, “I will not hesitate to call the cops. Now answer Bucky, why are you here?”

“We moved in down the road!” Priya beamed, bouncing back and forth, “It was my idea. We thought it would be good for Scott to be close to Hunter!”

Lily raised her eyebrows and tilted her head at the taller man in front of her. As far as she was concerned, Scott didn’t have the right to be near her son. Hunter was Bucky’s son. Scott had signed the adoption papers for Bucky and given his consent for him to adopt Hunter. It was a done deal. There was no need for Hunter and Scott to have a relationship. Hunter didn’t want one, and Scott lost that chance years ago.

“Close to Hunter?” Lily challenged, crossing her arms over her chest, “Closer to Hunter? There is no need to be closer to Hunter. He already lives with his father.”

“Noooo, Scott lived in the city. Scott, you told me she was smart.” Priya chuckled, giving a tight smile to the shorter blonde.

“Get off of my porch,” Bucky sneered, clenching his fists, “Or I will forcibly remove you both.”

Lily felt everything around her go tense. The air was thick, and the entire world seemed to be closing in on her. Who did Scott think he was? What kind of man moves down the street from his estranged son and ex-wife and their family? The blonde knew for a fact that if anyone in her immediate circle got wind of what happened, there would be hell to pay on Scott’s end. Even without them, Lily was going to make sure that man was as far away as can be from her and her family.

“See you later, neighbours,” Scott chuckled, winking at Lily and walking down the steps with Priya.

“Get the papers,” Lily whispered, “Get the adoption papers. I’m calling Carter now. We’re ending this.”

-----

Lily sighed as she unbuckled Stella from her car seat, tucking a stray piece of chocolate hair behind her ear. The young girl had a saddened look on her face, as though her whole world was falling apart. In the four-year-olds defence, Lily knew how excited she was to go wedding dress shopping. Sadly, there were more pressing matters at hand than finding her dream dress. She had already cancelled and rescheduled the appointment.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Lily whispered, running her thumb across her daughter’s cheek, “We’ve got to see Carter for a bit. Then, you get to see Leo!”

Stella looked up with glassed-over blue eyes, “But I wanted to see you in the pretty dresses.”

Lily sighed softly and nodded, “I know. I know you did. It’ll be even more special when we go next week.”

Stella pouted and tucked her face into Lily’s shoulder, gripping her blazer. The blonde sighed softly and shut the car door, walking around to meet Bucky at Rose’s apartment building entrance. The tall man gave his fiance a gentle smile before kissing her forehead, laying his hand on the small of her back. The two didn’t waste any more time while walking into the building and waiting for the elevator.

“Thank you two again,” Lily whispered as she handed her daughter to Sam, “I can’t have this happen. I’m hoping this will deter him.”

Rose gave her sister a sad smile before embracing her tightly, “It’ll be okay. You two have gone through hell; you can handle this.”

Lily nodded and revelled in her sister’s touch. When she and Bucky left the apartment, a few tears slipped from the mother’s brown eyes. She and Bucky stopped for a moment, stepping into a corner of the lobby and just holding each other. Lily attempted to relax and hold the tears back. She didn’t need Hunter seeing her cry while they were on their way to her lawyer’s office. He had already dealt with her running around the house, organizing everything and not speaking to him.

It was Bucky that had to brief Hunter on what was happening. An hour later, the family was loaded into the car on their way down to Manhattan. The drive was silent other than Hunter trying to cheer up an upset Stella. The tension was taut and awkward, no one really knowing what to say. Lily could barely process what was happening. She thought everything was fine with Scott. Sure, it was weird that he and Walker went for dinner. But he wasn’t bothering her. He had left her and Bucky alone for the years leading up to this moment. He never attempted to gain custody back and even admitted his faults with Hunter.

Why he suddenly decides to move in down the street and try to rekindle a relationship with his son? Lily had no idea. She thought things had finally calmed down with the drama. She just wanted to live the rest of her life in peace, plan her wedding, and raise her children. That’s all Lily ever wanted. She wanted a simple life.

Ever since Lily was a child, she dreamed of a house by the water. She revelled in the idea of meeting someone perfect and starting a family. She wanted away from the city and to be able to sit in an open backyard. Instead, she faced trauma and heartbreak countless times over. She went through hell and back with her family and suffered when it came to finding love. Lily craved that relaxation and serenity.

Was it too much to ask? Was it too much to ask to have a peaceful life with her family and the man she loved? She saw everyone else getting it. Her friends at Hunter’s school had it. Stella’s teachers had it. What was it with Lily that had the universe out to hurt her?

“Why?” Lily whispered, gripping Bucky’s tie, “Why does it keep happening? Why can’t he just leave us alone.”

“I don’t know, my love,” Bucky whispered, placing gentle kisses to the top of Lily’s head, “I don’t know. But we’ll figure this out. I promise.”

A part of Lily wondered if it was true. She doubted it. Whenever something went well in Lily’s life, some sort of force sent another troubling event her way. For four years, she and Bucky raised their family and found that peace they both craved. Bucky was able to finally rest from his life of avenging and saving the world. Lily was able to settle down with the love of her life and raise the family she always wanted. She had everything laid out for her and ready for her to take. And just as things were hitting that high peak, everything crashed.

Lily wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

[oohcheckme]

Moments

Hiiiiiiii, this is my first Jopper fic so please go easy on me. The timeline is probably all messed up but I wrote this at like 2am so there is my excuse. This is just 4,000 words of just angst ending in fluff, all about the Jopper story from when they were around 18 to canon. 

1963

His glances only serve to remind her of the past, of simpler times in high school, sneaking out of class and smoking packs of cigarettes between the two of them. She’s reminded of the days that he was her everything and truth be told, she doesn’t think there was ever a time where he wasn’t her kind of everything. The time that love wasn’t epitomised in the depths of his blue eyes, and the look of his smile when she would put him in his place, or the touch of his sandpaper hands on her waist as he wished her one final goodbye before he left her. She can remember the sound of his voice as he whispered his goodbye to her, his young eyes a reservoir of unshed waterfalls.

‘I don’t want to leave you—I’m…I’m scared.’ He shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor, his tears streaking down his cheeks, the gravity of the situation dawning on them. They were just kids, but they were so in love, and they wanted everything, and then reality came and tapped them on the shoulder and here they were. He was off to war, and she was stuck here. In a dead end town, with a dead end life in sight and she couldn’t choke those feelings down anymore. She remembers grabbing his face in her tiny hands, and willing him to be strong, for her, for their lives, and for him because lord knows she didn’t want to know what life in a world without him would be like.

‘I can’t promise you that you’ll be fine. I wish I could, I wish I could go instead of you’ she remembers sliding her hands down his shoulders to rest on his chest. ‘But babe, I’m gonna be here waiting. I don’t care  how long you’ll be gone, I’m here, and lord knows that I’m not going anywhere. So you come back in one piece, and we’ll go. We’ll see the world, and have lots of babies and live in a white house on the corner of a small town near a big city and we’ll have each other. You hold on to that. You hear me Hop? I love you James, and I need you to come back in one piece.’ She willed herself to be strong, to show him that she’ll be alright without him, he needed this and she couldn’t stop him. But how she wanted to, how she wanted to grab his arms and beg him not to go, to stay with her where she knew that he’d be safe and sound, and nothing could hurt him.

He looked her, really looked at her and shook his head. He kissed her with everything that he had, every promise he’d ever made and every promise he’d ever broken lived in that kiss. His whole heart was in that kiss, and it stayed there. His heart stayed in between her lips, in her very soul and her being, he needed her to have it. To know that it was hers, that he was completely hers, the good, the bad and the ugly. He loved her so much and he needed her to know that, because if something happened to him, he needed her to know that she was his last thought, she was in his last breath. She cried then, with reckless abandon, her tears too much for him to bear, so he kissed her forehead and walked away. She called out to him and he turned, her brown eyes shining with a promise full of love and complete adoration, he lifted his arm and let out a half hearted wave and lopsided smile and walked off. It was only then that he let the tears he’d been holding in fall out in the masses, one after the other, drowning him in his loss.

1967

His eyes remind her of all the times they fucked up, all the times they spent fighting and leaving each other. All that lost time that they should've spent loving each other with everything that they had. She recalls the moment it went wrong, when she lost him. She walked into his room and closed the door behind her, her bottle green dress and his suit jacket a reminder of the wedding that they should be attending. He was sat at the edge of his bed and was holding his head in his hands , his feet firmly planted to the ground. His hair dripped with water and his shirt was half untucked , his tie askew and his dress pants tucked into one of his socks. She leant up against the door and held onto it.

'I'm sorry' she whispered, surprising herself and him at the words that suddenly came out of her mouth. 'I'm so sorry. I'm---'

He cut her off with a question that broke her heart. His voice was scratchy as if he hadn't spoken for weeks, and it broke as he spoke the words that had been on his mind for the past two weeks. The pain and heartbreak he felt all poured into the one question. His face remained looking at the ground as he spoke. 'Babe, where did you go?'

She broke out into tears and his front broke. He looked up at her, a storm of unshed tears in his eyes. His cheekbones had become more prominent over the month and his face had become skinnier, he had become skinnier. She walked over to him purposefully and bent down in front of him. 'I'm sorry. I was wrong, I shouldn't have left, I don't know why I did, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I didn't mean anything by it. I was upset and I wanted to go. I’m scared to lose you, I was scared that if I made you my home, you’d leave and I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. I needed to get away, I needed to be home, away from you, and this, and us, for me to realise that I don’t want anyone other than you. It’s us, it’s always been us, even when you were gone Hop, it was us.’

His face broke as he heard her words 'Is this not your home anymore? Am I not your home anymore? I’m not gonna leave you again, Joyce. Stop trying to push me away, please just stop.’ She kicked herself as she looked at the broken man in front of her. She'd broken him and she hadn't even bothered to check on him. She wrapped her hands around his face, one reaching behind his ear into his hair, the other one keeping his eyes on her.

'You will always be my home. I realised that when I left. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry.' She looked at him, really looked at him and knew that she had to tell him, and she knew that it would break him. It would break them, what they were and she wasn’t okay with that but she couldn’t lie to him. Not now, not ever. ‘Hop, I need to tell you something, and before I do, I just need you to know that you’re the only man I’ll ever love, the only man I’ve ever loved.’ He cocked his head to the side in confusion before he realises what she’s about to tell him, and she first hand witnesses the dimming of the lights in James Hopper and it kills her. He looks at her with a detachment she’d never experienced from him before, and her heart shrinks in her chest, knowing that everything had changed and it was all her fault.

‘I slept with Lonnie. You went away, and I didn’t know if you were ever going to come back and he was there and I was drunk and so was he and I…’ she ran her hands through her hair and carried on ‘I’m not asking you to forgive me Hop, but I needed you to know this. It was eating me up, and I can’t breathe, I love you so much and I know I fucked up but I love you and if that’s enough, then I promise you I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.’

He looked at her for a moment, a charged silence ran between them as both them knew that this was the end, yet neither wanted to voice it. He softened under her touch before removing her hands off him gently and standing up.

‘I need you to go.’ His voice sounded completely calm and detached yet inside he was screaming, how could she do this? They were supposed to be together forever, such a naive concept looking at it now. Forever. Did people ever really get their forever, or was it just something that the movies and songs sold to us to make us somewhat content with our mundane existences in this shitty world. She turned to him, her arms rejected at her sides, a vision in green, surrounded by an air of blue deep sadness. She wanted to put up a fight, she wanted to shout at him and beg him to see it from her point of view, but she knew it was useless. There was no use, they were over and it was her fault.

‘James, please.’

‘Joyce, I’m begging you here, please go. I can’t, I need time. I just need you to GO’ his voice raised before he realised it was happening and he faltered for a second at the pure intensity of betrayal that laced through his voice like a intricate vine, spreading and poisoning them. She nodded dejectedly and left his dad’s trailer, not before turning to look at him one more time. The picture of him, his head hung low, with his hair falling in his face, covering the tear tracks running down his smooth cheek, is etched into her memory forever.

Joyce waited outside his house that night, banging on his window, before sliding down the side of his house. She called for him a couple times, knowing that he was in his room, listening to her crying and telling him how much she loved him. She didn’t blame him, she fucked up and this one was on her completely, but she’d never hurt like this. A deep ache settled in her bones, and made itself a permanent resident within her, and she couldn’t shake it. She ended up falling asleep against his wall, only waking in the morning from the shouts of the paper route boy asking her if she was okay. She let out a small smile and shrugged, walking off in the direction of her house. The last she heard from James Hopper was that he was offered a big cop job in the city, and he took it.

She was informed by a neighbour in passing a few years later, that he’d settled down in New York, that he’d found himself a wife and they were expecting a child together. She remembers the feeling, the crushing disappointment, the extinguishing of the last burning ember that she held for him in her heart. She was happy for him, kind of, he’d gotten out of this dead end town, he’d made something of himself like he’d always wanted, but it stung that he’d done all of that without her. That she no longer factored in his plans, he probably never thought of her. He never said goodbye, he just left, and she waited for weeks, hoping, praying that he’d turn up but he never did. That’s when she found out about the job, and his acceptance, and as a result, she accepted Lonnie Byers marriage proposal with a broken heart and a taped together smile.

1979

She pulled him into her house which was a complete mess, that’s what having two boys does to a house. She fumbled with the jacket on her back before turning to him and raising an eyebrow. She’d seen him in the bar just near the corner of town and everything she’d ever felt for him, came back to the surface. The shock of seeing him wore off after realising that he was not the same Hopper she’d known when they were young. This Hopper was jaded, all jagged edges, and sharp looks, and an air of isolation hung around him. She didn’t know this Hopper, and she felt the need to give him something, breathe some life back in to him because this was not him. She managed to convince him to come back to her place, drunk off his presence.

‘What do you say Hop? A little late night rendezvous for old times sake? Make it quick before the boys get back home from Lonnie’s.’ She didn’t know what brought out this confidence in her, the need to have him right there had been building up for years, buried under mounds of regret and hurt and denial but she’s always felt it.

'You'd know all about quickies now, wouldn't you Joy?' He said under his breath, walking away, into the corridor. His buried hurt resurfacing, he was always an open book when he was around her, he couldn’t hide how he felt, his filter was lost when he looked at him with her big eyes that once looked at him like he was at the core of her universe. Now they were burning with something, something other than desire.

'Excuse me? What do you mean by that? Come back here, don't walk away. ' she walked into the hallway and pulled him back into the room. She slammed the door behind them as he fell into a chair and spun around to face him. Her anger at him palpable in the air as their silly game begins to play out again. His constant yin to her yang, and not in the peaceful way. The way that only he knows how to do, the way to rile her up, and drive her up the wall.

'What. Do. You. Want?' She poked him 'tell me what you want and I'll do it.'

'I WANT--' he let out a deep breath and groaned 'I want YOU to not lie to me. I want you to WANT to be with me Joyce' he looked pointedly at her as if to accuse her of all the crimes in the world. Her resolve broke as she pulled on her hair. ‘What the hell does he mean by that?’ She asks her. This never ending tug and war that played such a big part in their relationship, the tug and war that often ended up driving them off the road. She saw it in high school, she saw it when he came back from Vietnam and now that he’s returned back to Hawkins after the loss of his family. Little did he know, she only wanted him, no matter who she was with, it was always him. His stubborn ways, and his angry looks, and his jealousy and overbearing height, it was always him and she hated it.

‘Hop’ she laughed, a laugh that was not in response to anything funny, a cold chilling laugh that sung of hurt. ‘I don’t know what to say. Are we really gonna dredge up skeletons from the past. Is that what we’re gonna do now? Lonnie was a big part of my life and he always will be but we became something in a retaliation to our mess. Our mess that is still, all these years later, a MESS. I never loved him, I just knew that I could, if I tried over time, but I’m not gonna explain that to you. It’s none of your business.’

‘I apologised, hell I stood outside your window back then for the whole night apologising until it became apparent that you clearly weren’t bothered.’ She slammed her hands on the table ‘I’M ALL OUT. I don't have anything left, this is me. I'm the worlds worst person, isn't that right? I’m sorry I’m not perfect, I fuck up all the time. All these years of shit  will do that to you, you idiot. But you left me! You went to war, and then you came back and acted like everything was all fun and games and then you fucked off again. Off to start a perfect life in the city with your perfect job and your perfect suburban wife. And you never even said goodbye.’

‘I didn’t doom us Hopper, that was all you. You are the one that left me with no one, and your sorry’s will never change that. You were all I had in this shithole, I planned my fucking life around you and then you left. It is all on you. You left ME, and I needed you’ her voice begins to crack and her anger fades to give way to the sadness that she’s carried with her all her life ‘I needed you so much Hopper and you left and you just didn’t come back. I can’t take you leaving again, I won’t make it this time and I need to make it, for my boys, I need to make it. I need to make it for me. But if you go this time Jim, that’s it.’  

She sat down, grasping at her hair.

‘I can’t do this with you. If this isn’t what you want, then go. Please just—go.’ She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, pleading with him to stay, contradicting her words with her entire physical being. He looked down at her, their height difference exaggerated tenfold, and pulled his hat off in frustration. His heart broke with everything in him, he shouldn’t have left her. He should’ve stayed and loved her and let her know that she was everything in this shitty world. Her flyaway hair, and her eyes, and her clumsy thrown together style and her drawl on certain words. She’s his world and he left her and he shoulders that every day.

‘I’m sorry.’ He bent his head down and pinched his nose. His stubbornness and pride stopping what he needed to say. He picked his hat up and walked out the door and he knew that he’d single handedly made the biggest mistake of his life. He cursed himself, his ego, his pride, his inability to move past one small act of desperation and despair. He knew that he needed her but life was shitty and he was shitty and he’d probably fuck it up somewhere down the road anyway, so he might as well save them the pain.

1983

‘I’m sorry about what I did and how I left you. I’m a shitshow and you know that. You know that, and you still took me on.’ He plucked a cigarette from his pocket and placed it in his mouth, not lighting it, but its presence grounds him and reminds him that this woman is his only shot at happiness. ‘I don’t doubt that you love me, I know you love me, even if you don’t want to or you don’t want to acknowledge it. After Sarah—‘ he paused and took a breath ‘I was a mess. I needed someone to hate, and I didn’t have Diane to hate anymore, I hated the world Joy. I hated everything but most of all I hated you.’

Her face blanches at the bluntness of his admission but he carries on, fighting the urge to turn around and run for the hills ‘I hated that you reminded me of all the times when I could’ve been something. You reminded me of what being happy truly felt like, not the fake happy that you force upon yourself to give your life some kind of meaning. Happiness with you was never forced, you were it for me Joyce. I hated that you reminded me that that was possible. Every time I saw your face, I wanted that happiness again, and I couldn’t let myself feel that Joy. I was too scared to feel anything, because if I was to lose you on top of everything, I wouldn’t have made it out alive. When I found out you had married Lonnie, I didn’t think I’d ever be okay. That was supposed to be us, a big white house, with lots of kids and a dog, and he had everything that I was supposed to have.’

‘I’d never hurt like that Joy, I felt like someone had ripped me in half, and then I lost Sarah, and then I lost Diane, and I just couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t and you were there and you reminded me of everything, I needed to make someone hurt like I’d been hurt. I needed you to know what it felt like when you picked him over me. And I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ Hopper covered his face with his hands and Joyce cursed at herself, and at them and their horrible timing. Just two weeks ago, she’d started seeing a man called Bob Newby, otherwise known to Hopper as ‘Bob the Brain’ and she wanted to scream at the injustice of it all. Her and Hopper had been doing this dance since they were sixteen and they could never catch a break and now he was stood in front of her, opening up to her about his deepest thoughts which she knew it took a lot of him to do.

‘Jim, I can’t. I——I can’t now. I have my…I have my Bob, and my mess and I can’t.’ she turned away and got in her car. She saw him in her mirrors as she drove off, hating herself with every mile that passes. It felt like one of them was always leaving, leaving the other in a mess of hurt and loneliness and she wishes that she could stop the cycle of it. But she can’t.

1985

She realises that she spaced out, and she’s brought back to a reality. A somewhat twenty years later, four children amongst the two of them, one child lost to the blackhole, one child lost and found to the cruel hands of an evil man, and one child fighting hell and back every night that he goes to sleep. But here they are, alive and well as they could be and she breathes a sigh of relief. He’s okay, he’s here, and he’s smiling at her like she hung the stars and moon and his eyes are twinkling and her heart feels like its gonna burst out of her chest and run to him. She lets out a small smile back at him and he runs a hand through his thinning hair, and she feels like laughing in joy, feeling truly happy for the first time since her few moments of euphoria with Bob.

'I think that we should get back together' she blurted out, her eyes wide, her face flushed with first hand embarrassment of her admission. He looked at her, really looked at her, more than he'd looked at her since the break up. His unawareness and her admission caught him off guard, he knew that he still loved her but he didn't know that she felt it back.

‘Wait--what?' His response embodied his confusion at the situation . She grinned at him and laughed. She really laughed, happier than she thought she'd ever be. She knew him and she knew what his response meant. He opened his mouth to speak as she did. They began speaking over each other.

'No come on--' 'What do you mean come on' 'Emotions are running high and —'

‘James, can you just shut up for one minute and let me talk.' She looked at him, in the way she did that had that effect on him. The way where he's drop everything to hear what she had to say. He stopped short at the use of his official name, she hadn’t called him James since they were kids, stupid kids with the whole world at their finger tips. A difference from the adults that stood in the place of those wide-eyed teenagers, adults who had shouldered pain and misery that would stay with them for their whole lives. But they were adults that made their way back from all of that hurt and despair, to these simple moments of standing on the porch with their children safe and sound inside playing like the kids they were once. And such moments were appreciated greatly.

'Look, we are not the most clean cut, well put together, perfectly happy couple but we are us. We are us, we're ridiculously imperfect and messy, but come on, can we just give this up' she gestured between them 'can we really just let all this, all of our past, go, I know I can't and I'm stood here looking like a fool, hoping that you can't. If you can, this will be really awkward and I'll feel really embarrassed and stupid and I'm rambling and I'm gonna stop now.’ She tugged at the loose strand of hair that had escaped her messy bun, and blushed bright red.

She’d said too much and she didn’t know why, but he kept looking at her. Like really looking at her, and he hadn’t looked at her like that for nearly twenty years, and she realised that he was the only person she needed, not Bob, and definitely not Lonnie. It had always been Hopper, it had always been him, he was the only man who had ever truly seen her for her and loved her despite that. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes at him, expecting a smart reply, but he just stood there, jaw slack, eyes wide open and his hand in his hair. 'You can talk now' she looked at him, prompting a response 'you can really talk now’

He took two steps towards her and closed the gap. His hands grazed her face and her eyes slipped shut at the brief contact. 'Woman, shut up and let me kiss you.’

This is my first Jopper fic, and its like 2am so I’m so sorry if its horrendous but I just felt like posting it. Please let me know what you think and if you have any prompts that you want me to do.

[daylighteclipsed]

honestly i really hope we see Toby and Claire bonding while Jim’s gone in s2, and not just in a Trollhunter fighting team way but like as friends

Toby putting on some music while he and Claire train in the Hero’s Forge and Claire instantly recognizing the hard rock and her face lighting up. “No way, is that Papa Skull?” And it is, of course it is, because Toby’s canonically a fan of the band, Claire just hasn’t learned that yet. (the music Toby plays during the battle for the bridge is Papa Skull, pay attention to his phone when he changes the song)

Claire becoming Toby’s wingman irl as he courts Darci and on the video game screen as he battles bad guys.

They don’t play the sushi game; that memory’s far too fresh in Toby’s mind and Claire can’t take Arrrggghh’s place, but they do play everything else.

Claire getting super into the sci-fi and fantasy games and Toby realizing she is a huge flipping dork like he and Jim.

Toby mentioning how he was thinking of calling her Shadowdancer on the rl battlefield and Claire admitting she wants to call herself something a little more...intense.

“Queen Death Viper 5000 of the Shadow Realm.” Toby’s eyes going wide. “Dude...that is the coolest name my ears have ever heard.” Claire smiling a little. “You think?” “Heck yeah! But, uh, its kind of a mouthful to say. You got a nickname for fights?” “Yeah, I guess it isn’t very practical. Hmm...” “Death Viper?” “Maybe...something doesn't sound right about it.” “Shadow Viper? Death Realm? Death Queen? Queen Viper? Shadow Queen?” “Shadow Queen’s kinda cool.” “Orrrrrrr it could be Shadowdancer. Ya know. If you want.” “But I don’t dance.” “But you’re like really graceful and light on your feet like a fairy, like” Toby moving his hands as he says “Spinny twirly angry whoosh! Surprise, idiot, you didn’t expect me to knock you off your feet!”

Claire laughing instead of arguing with him for once and the two of them compromising because Shadowdancer is pretty accurate and who said Claire can’t have more than one nickname?

Toby actually taking the time to alternate between Shadow Queen and Shadowdancer when addressing her during battles and Claire really appreciating it and calling him Warhammer in return. Both of them really loving and embracing their dorky hero names and having a blast charging into battle.

Toby feeling bad about the way he treated Claire when he was jealous about her relationship with Jim. Still being kinda jealous, not about Jim, but because Claire’s life, aside from her missing brother, seems great on the outside: She has her parents. She has other friends. She’s talented and smart. She’s good-looking and popular. She has it all and seems to always have it together, and Toby has none of that.

Claire breaking down one day because her parents are so hard on her and expect so much from her and want her to be what they want her to be when Claire just wants to be herself. Claire crying because her brother’s gone and Jim’s gone and she may never see either of them again and life is overwhelming and she can’t always have it together.

Toby realizing how wrong he was about her and somewhat relating; he has his nana but he’s not real close to her so he kinda gets how Claire feels about not being real close or open with her parents. 

Claire being there for Toby when he breaks down, when he confesses how much he misses Arrrgghhh and Jim and how mad he is at Jim for leaving and how nothing’s fair. Toby and Claire becoming each other’s emotional support.

Smaller things. Claire recognizing how clever Toby is about his make-shift armor of kitchen ware and having him help her construct some of her own as she makes suggestions about ways they can improve it.

Toby learning Claire really doesn't like to get her hair wet after she’s tossed into a river during a fight. She’s standing there sopping wet when all’s said and done, makeup running down her face, half her clips missing or tangled in her hair that’s starting to dry and curl. Toby cracks a joke about her appearance to which Claire punches him in the exposed part of his arm and tells him to shut up before stealing the pot on his head and plopping it down over her own. It kinda hits him later, when Claire’s removing the pot from her head and her hair’s springing up in frizzy curls she’s furiously trying to hold down, that her hair is something she’s insecure about it. That there are things that Claire Nuñez is insecure about, like him. like anyone else.

Bigger things. Toby and Claire having to deal with a very distraught Barbara, a very confused school district, and very nosy classmates as to what exactly happened to James Lake Jr.

Toby and Claire having to play dumb upset kids to throw people off (which isn’t very hard; they don't actually know much about where Jim is or if he’s OK and they’re certainly very upset about it).

Eli claiming the monsters took Jim and both of them freezing up until its made apparent that no one still believes Eli. The cops interviewing them recognizing Toby and not being real thrilled to see him in trouble of sorts again. Claire snorting until one of the cops, the one that caught her pushing Toby in a red wagon not long ago, points and says he’s seen her before too. Toby grins.

Claire and Toby having to decide whether they should tell Barbara the truth or not. If the police investigate and somehow find something, the trolls are in trouble. But Jim didn’t tell his mom the truth again when he could have and maybe that was for a reason? But Barbara also has a right to know whats going on! But what if she freaks out and goes to the cops or doesn't believe them? But it hurts watching her fall apart over her missing son.

Claire and Toby still butting heads sometimes despite being friends but becoming less immature about it as they learn more about each other.

Toby and Claire developing believably as individuals and as friends that is all

[kitchenwitchsuperwhovian]

Love the Way You Lie

Summary: The Reader thought they were friends but Sam was just using her as a way to get Dean to back off.

Rating: Mature

Square Filled: Fake Relationship with Soulless!Sam, Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,5115

Tags: Unfounded rage, emotional ineptitude, mild violence, betrayal, despair, slight depression ending in some fluffy smut. A/N:  There is some slight canon divergence so bear with me for the sake of the fic. Beta’d by @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid

Written/Created for @spnkinkbingo

*GIFs not my own*

There was something different about the younger Winchester. He seemed a little off to you when interviewing the widow of the man who was drained of his blood at his mistress’ house. Maybe is was the fact that he and Dean had a falling out and are hunting separately but his behavior has Y/N looking at him differently.

“Sam, quick question? Why were you being a hardass with the widow? She just lost her husband, who might I add was found drained of blood in his mistress’ bed.” Y/N questioned him with a fierce stare.

“She knew more than she let on so I asked the questions you wouldn’t dare ask. And I think we should be focusing on asking her how she is involved. She knew about the mistress, why not the vamp?” Sam stated harshly to Y/N with a determined glare.

“I’m gonna grab some food and beer and we’ll talk about this when I get back.” Y/N grabs her keys and slams the door on her way out.

On the way to the market, she quickly dials Dean’s cell and waits for him to pick up. “This is Dean, if you caught this message, I’m out killing something. Leave your name, number, and reason why you’re calling me. Winchester out.” *Beep* “Dean, it’s Y/N. call me back. I’ve got questions that only you can answer. Number’s the same so call me.”

Y/N puts her phone away and starts shopping for basic snacks and premade sandwiches. A stop in the beer aisle and off to the checkout where an elderly lady is overly chatty with the clerk as she casually mentions another body that has Y/N on high alert.

“Ma’am, I hate to interrupt. I’m Agent Hardy and me and my partner are in town investigating a similar murder. Can you give me any details or information on who I can speak to about the recent victim?” Y/N states authoritatively while the clerk quickly processes her transaction.

“Well, it was the preacher, Agent. Him and his wife were out of town on a retreat and just got back yesterday. When she came home from work with their two kids, poor dears. I heard that she found him naked as the day he was born in the tub, drained of blood. Well, she collapsed right then and there and the little ones ran to the neighbor’s house for help.”’

Y/N grabs the groceries, thanks the woman for her time and for the information, and dials Sam. “What now, Y/N? Come to yell at me some more for doing my job?”

“Shut it, Winchester. We got another vic. This time it was the preacher. Blood drained and naked as a jaybird. I’m on my way back to you to drop the food and we’ll talk to the family next.” Y/N states while weaving through traffic as she hears shuffling from Sam’s end of the call.

“Drop the food, babe, but I’m already out the door. I’ll talk to them and report back. Have a sandwich and a cold one waiting for me when I get back, princess.” Sam growls before ending the call.

Y/N stares at the phone is shock and rising anger as she pushes harder on the gas, sending the car lurching forward at a dangerous speed. With a squeal of the brakes, Y/N parks the car and races to the motel door, the car door hanging wide open. She dials Sam’s phone again and jams the key angrily in the lock, forcing the door open with a slam against the wall. She hears his ringtone coming from the pile of clothes on his bed and with a curse, Y/N hurls it into the wall, breaking the screen with a steady stream of expletives.

Y/N dumps the food in the room and heads back out to the preacher’s place a couple of miles down the road. When she sees the cops leaving the premises, she cautiously drives past to see Sam sitting in the back of the cruiser. Y/N mutters curses under her breath as she drives to the local police station hoping to bail him out before he gets himself in any more trouble than he already is.

“Agent Hardy, your partner Agent Dixon was taken in on charges of harassment and resisting arrest. What do you have to say for your partner?” The cop at the front desk asked in a slightly angered tone.

“First off, I am so sorry for my partner. As soon as we finish this investigation, I will report him to our supervisor for discipline. Now, let’s let him sit in the cell for a bit while I talk to the preacher’s widow. I promise to stop if it becomes too much for her, okay?” Y/N pleads as the officer mumbles under his breath about pushy Feds.

“Fine but one wrong move and you’re sharing a cell with your partner, got it?” He states warily.

“Thank you so much officer and please, call me Y/N. Here’s my card so you can contact the latest victim’s wife so I don’t upset her more after what my partner put her through today. I’m staying at the motel off of Lincoln Ave and Central if I don’t answer my phone. And thank you again.” Y/N walks sedately back to the car, cursing Sam in her head for being a overall jackass.

She sighs wearily and starts to head back to the motel, frustrated with having to do the work of two hunters thanks to Sam’s antics. The rest of the night is filled with internet searches, mapping possible locations, and talking to the widow well into the early hours of the morning. The only correlation between the victims was the fact that they were naked, drained of all their blood, and had the same bank.

Y/N’s bleary, dry eyes kept wanting to close as she was making notes, narrowing down the possible hideouts to two. Upon spying the time on her phone as 6:43 a.m., Y/N closes her laptop, takes off her shoes as she flops dazedly onto the nearest bed, snoring softly seconds later.

Two hours later, she is rudely awakened by Sam slamming the door open in anger. “Why the ever-loving fuck did I spend the night in jail?! The asshole officer had the delight in telling me that I’ll be reported for misconduct and it was a good idea it was you had leaving me in the cell to cool off.” Sam yelled as he started packing his stuff.

“Allright Winchester, what crawled up your ass and died? Ever since you called me three days ago, you’ve been rude, hostile with the witnesses, and your empathy seems to have flown out the window. What happened exactly between you and Dean anyway to where you had to call me as backup?” Y/N asked with sleepy-eyed curiously.

“Just because we’ve been fuck buddies in the past doesn’t mean you have the right to know about me and my life now. If I was a hard ass, it was because it was called for, Y/N. So do your job talking to the locals and leave the hard work, like ganking the vamp, to the professional. It’s not like you haven’t done what I’ve commanded before. It seemed like you loved taking orders from me so be a good girl and go.” Sam ordered as he grabbed the keys to the car and prepared to head out.

The cocking of a gun has Sam turning around to face an irate Y/N, gun aimed at his chest. “Samuel Fucking Winchester, put your shit down and sit on the bed. I’m not done talking and if you think for one second I won’t shoot, try me fucker.” As Sam looks Y/N in the eyes, he debates on trying his luck. With his mind made up, he drops his gear and sits in the chair by the bed.

“Talk darlin’. Before I test my luck.” Sam states aggressively.  Y/N shoots him a death glare that warns him not to push it as she settles on the bed, gun still aimed at his chest.

“First off, yes we fucked in the past and I’m a Sub to your Dom ways but that is no way an excuse to treat me like shit now. I have been keeping quiet while you go Captain Commando on the locals, terrorizing the vic’s families, and being an overall asshole. Now what the hell happened between you and Dean to cause you to be like this?” Y/N asks heatedly.

Sam just stares at Y/N with an unreadable expression and a blank look in his eyes that sends chills down her spine. “He wanted to fix me. And I like being like this. No cares, no worries, no guilt, no sense of shame or duty to feel. For the first time in my fucked up life, I truly have no cares. Especially about you and Dean. Did you really think we were friends? I only tolerated you because you were warming my brother’s bed. All those ‘late night talks’ we had was just a way for me to amuse myself on how pathetic you were in seeking any kind of connection, no matter how small.”

Before Y/N has a chance to react, Sam is grabbing the gun from her hand, dismantling it, hurling it across the room where it lands with a dull thud. The momentary fear in Y/N’s eyes has Sam’s blood racing. Y/N tries to run but with Sam’s long legs, her cuts off her escape easily as he grabs her around the waist and throws her on the bed.

She is dazed as her head cracks hard against the wall and all she can see is a fuzzy outline of Sam hovering over her body before she blacks out. When she awakens some time later, she winces at the bright light coming from the blinds as the shrill notes of her ringtone has her head pounding. She tries to get up off the bed and finds that her arms are tied to the headboard. She rolls over quickly and has to shut her eyes in pain as the room spins and her stomach lurches. Y/n tentatively scoots closer to her hands and spies a complicated knot that will take hours to unravel. She rests her head on her hands and tries not to cry in despair. Sam did this to her. He left her alone, injured, and vulnerable when there is a vamp on the loose. What happened to my friend? Y/N thinks as she tries to figure a way out of the mess she got herself into.

When she hears someone trying to pick the lock on her motel door, she panics and unsuccessfully tries to get out of her bindings. Her head whips around as the door slams open and a large shadow is cast across the room.  Her eyes become teary and unfocused as she sees the panic and fear in Dean as his eyes search the room frantically.

He rushes to the bed and gently cradles Y/N’s head in his arms as she cries softly. “I’m gonna cut these ropes off and get your head checked out baby cause it’s matted with blood. Can you tell me what happened? How did you get like this?” Dean asks worriedly.

Y/N tiredly raises her head to look Dean in the eyes as she breaks down. “It was Sam…  Sam did this to me. What happened to him, Dean? Why would he attack me and leave me vulnerable when there’s a vamp on the loose?” When Dean stiffens in her arms and looks away in shame, Y/N pulls out of his arms and grabs his face to look her in the eyes.

She is shocked to see tears streaming down his face and the haunted, scared look in his eyes puts her on guard.

“Sam is…. He has no soul.  After jumping in the cage to keep us safe from Lucifer, he was rescued but his soul was left behind. We are trying to get it back but as you can tell, Sam doesn’t want it back. He sent me a message last night telling me where you were with a picture of you as I found you. Are you hurt anywhere else?” Dean asks softly as he brushes the hair out of her eyes.

“Not physically but Dean, I think I need a doctor. My vision keeps going fuzzy and the pain is making my hair hurt. I think I may need an MRI and stitches. I just can’t believe my friend did this to me.” Y/N murmurs as she lays her head back on Dean’s chest in comfort.  

Dean gently gathers her gear and ushers her quickly into Baby. He lays her gently on the seat and heads to the nearest hospital. She’s admitted overnight and she has a mild concussion and needed fifteen stitches. The doctor gave her some pain meds and told her that if her vision gets worse, or the pain meds stop working to go immediately to the hospital. They thank the doctor and sedately get in the Impala to head back to the motel.

Dean guides her towards their room and watches as she changes for bed. He wishes there was something he could do for her but with her injury, it limits his skills drastically. When she groans in pain and rubs the small of her back, Dean has an idea that will hopefully help keep her mind off of the pain. He whispers for her to lay on her stomach and Y/N gives him a questioning look.

“Just do it, baby. I’m gonna make you feel better, I promise. Now lay on your belly, baby.” Dean whispers into her hair as he makes small circles on the center of her back. Y/N gets comfortable by laying her head on her arms and closing her eyes, trusting Dean to take care of her.

He starts by making small, kneading circles on the small of her back with a slight pressure that has Y/N groaning in relief.  Slowly, he kneads up her spine and ending in a massage on the back of her neck. The knot of tension slowly fades as Dean uses his magic fingers to melt away the lingering soreness from being tied up for so long. At the thought of why she’s sore, Y/N’s muscles tense and Dean shushes her uneasiness with gentle kisses to her ears and neck.

At her soft sigh, Dean taps her cheek twice to get her attention. “Baby, take off your shirt and roll over for me.” She lazily removes her shirt and drops it dramatically to the side of the bed. She gives Dean a seductive wink and turns over onto her back. She holds her hands over her breasts and Dean makes a growl of approval when she drops her hands to her sides.  Dean leans over her chest and blows gently on her left nipple as his hands trace circles on her torso.

Y/N mewls in need as Dean licks her nipples quickly and alternatively blows across each nipple in turn. They harden in the cool air and her breathing becomes ragged as goosebumps race across her sensitive flesh. She gasps when Dean suddenly sucks her nipple into his mouth and flicks his talented tongue repeatedly. Y/N grasps his hair in fistfuls and guides him to her neglected nipple and she groans in approval as he shows it the same attention as the other had.

“Dean, please. I need you!” Y/N moans as she bucks her hips repeatedly into Dean’s jean covered erection.  With a final nip to each aroused peak, Dean pulls away and starts to remove his clothing. Without words, he gives her a look that says to strip. Clothes go flying everywhere and by the time both of them are naked, Dean is panting hard as Y/N’s hands glide gently over her skin towards her sensitive bud. With a quick flick of her nail across her clit, Y/N in coming hard, calling out for Dean. Dean grabs her legs and drags them to the end of the bed and descends on her sodden lips like a man starved. With a high-pitched squeak, Dean slips two fingers into her glistening lips, unerringly stroking her g-spot, hurling her into a second, more intense orgasm.

Dean’s groans and moans in her pussy while Y/N is scrambling to catch her breath. Her fingers ache as they are clenched tight in Dean’s hair, locking him in place as he ravages her cunt.  She can feel herself nearing the peak of another orgasm and tries to pull away from Dean’s talented mouth in fear of how earth-shattering it will be.  Dean growls and looks at her squarely in the eyes with lust-blown pupils. He grips her legs tighter and commands her to cum. Dean suctions around her clit and nips her hard and it’s the final piece needed to make her cum for the third time.

“DEAN! FUCK!” Y/N screams and her entire body shakes and shivers with her orgasm. Dean holds her hips down as he sloppily licks up the copious amounts of slick that pours forth. Y/N tries to get her breathing under control as Dean gives a final kiss to her clit and stares into her blissed-out gaze. He settles his taut frame over her quivering body and she lazily winds her arms around his neck while peppering his neck with kisses. She nips at the corded vein on his left side and he hisses in pleasure.

“Fuck me, baby.” Y/N whispers in his ear as she nibbles on his lobe. He gently guides himself into her still-pulsing walls slowly and they both groan in pleasure as he bottoms out. He takes a moment to stare at Y/N’s face and he thanks God for the day he met her. Y/N smiles shyly at Dean as he continues to stare at her face with a blissed-out and happy expression. She tightens her inner walls and is rewarded with a shallow thrust from Dean that has them both moaning.

“Fuck, Dean. You feel so good. Mmmmm…” Y/N moans as Dean lazily thrusts into her silken sheath. Y/N draws her legs in tight around Dean’s hips and grabs his shoulders for leverage as she meets him thrust for thrust.  Soon, the only sounds in their room is Dean’s grunts as the headboard bangs into the wall with the force of his thrusts. “Faster, baby. Almost there.” Y/N coos as his tip brushes her cervix with a jolt of pleasure-pain.

Dean raises her legs to his shoulders and puts more force using his legs that has Y/N screaming and squealing in ecstasy. “Make yourself cum baby. I wanna see you cum.” Dean growls as his pace starts to falter with his impending orgasm. Y/N rubs her clit furiously and it’s the last bit she needed to push her over the edge. With a scream of Dean’s name, Y/N’s walls pulse and release rapidly around Dean’s cock with such force that he immediately starts to cum hard. A new pressure builds in Y/N as Dean keeps thrusting through her orgasm and she breaks with a silent scream as a flood of slick bathes Dean’s cock in her release. Dean sloppily thrusts a couple of more times before stilling in her sheath, their combined release leaking out around his softening cock.

Dean crushes Y/N with his weight, causing her to gasp and giggle. He tiredly rolls off of Y/N and she hisses as his cock leaves her sensitive pussy. They both laugh and cuddle into each other as they try to regain their equilibrium. Y/N traces hearts around his nipple as Dean kisses her hair as they both start to drift slowly off to sleep. With a final yawn, Y/N promises Dean that they’ll get Sam’s soul back, no matter what it takes. “He’s family, Dean. It’s the least we can do.” Dean’s tired mind has one last thought before drifting into a deep and peaceful slumber. “I just wish that I could have some good in my life before it all goes to hell. Quite literally.”