#and ingrid was the best villain in the entire show fight me

[florafaunaandeldritchhorrors]

so I stopped OUAT fandom around then but my conspiracy theory is that Neal wasn’t killed for Captain Swan, he was killed because the writers don’t know how to write Rumplestiltskin getting better. look at how they couldn’t commit to destroying the Dark One in 5a.

[ghalibsmuse]

Trigger Warning : R*pe

Why do white male writers think that “rape” is an important part of female character development? While it literally does absolutely nothing and just there for shock value.

Not just white male writers but in some cases female writers aswell. I want to unpack some of my favourite female characters and how getting sexually assaulted did absolutely nothing for their character development.

Daenerys Targaryen (GoT)

Dany was sold off to Khal Drogo by her brother Viserys, please keep in mind that I am focusing on Dany from the show and not the book cause I have never read George RR Martins work.

Dany after getting married was continuously raped by her husband until she finally took charge and decided that she would assume control in bed. What twisted male fantasy is this? That a woman was continually raped and one day she not only accepted it but decided that she would please her rapist?

This plot line did absolutely nothing for Danys character line, if the sexual assault storyline did not exist Dany would still have gone and earned the titles she had and she still would’ve become Khal of Khals. This plot line did nothing but feed the male audience who further sexualised Dany or as they call her “Kaleesi” for no reason at all. (I’ve only seen men call Daenerys “Kaleesi”)

Caroline Forbes (TVD)

Imagine being written by a female writer and still be subjected to sexual assault and then have your abuser get the mOst ePic reDemPtiOn aRcs of all time.

Alot of people in the fandom refuse to talk about this plot line because Damon Salvatore is the stud of TVDU. But in season 1 Damon compelled Caroline and used her as his food source and continuously subjected her to sexual violence. Damon did not face any consequences to his actions at all, he was awarded with an epic storyline, a redemption arc, and he also got the main female protagonist. Furthermore, the topic never came up in the TVDU and no one even knew about it, and the show ended with Caroline and Damon being faMiLy.

The writers subjected Caroline Forbes to an extremely traumatic experience that she magically recovered from for the sake of OT3, the sexual violence plot line was not only forgotten but it did absolutely nothing for this female characters storyline. Her abuser faced no consequences and the show moved on and never acknowledged the trauma she went through.

Kisa/ Santanico Pandemonium (FDTD)

Kisa is probably one of the best female characters to ever exist out there. Her story line was exceptionally well written.

She was subjected to life of slavery and she wanted to take revenge. But later on we learn that she was also raped by her captor, which I think we could’ve done without. It did absolutely nothing for her storyline and just portrayed her as a victim to a man’s aggression. Before this revelation Kisa was on a path to vengeance and after that she was still on the very same path. Then what was the point of this new plot line or revelation?

Astrid (Vikings)

Astrid was kidnapped by King Herald, and it was in his kindgom that she was raped and subjected to sexual violence by various men. Astrid’s storyline was already a strong one as Lagertha’s lover and it absolutely did not need the whole King Herald trope.

If the writers wanted to kill her, she could have died at Lagertha’s side during a battle but the writers chose to subject her to a traumatic storyline for no reason at all.

Cersei Lannister (GoT)

Cersei was the epic female villain the show deserved. She didn’t have to be dead white man turned into an ice zombie to be terrifying. But the writers way of “humanising” her was subjecting her to sexual violence. Cersei was raped by Jamie Lannister on her sons funeral and it did absolutely nothing for her storyline.

The trope was extremely sexist, as if the writers were trying to convey a message about gender hierarchy on the show. That no matter how powerful she is, she is “vulnerable” to a man, to a knight.

Ingrid (Vikings)

Ingrid was Bjorn’s second wife who was raped by King Herald while she was staying in his Kingdom with her husband. The entire rape storyline did nothing for the shows plot line and was just in bad taste, and the worst part was King Herald did not face any consequences to his actions and died a hErO while fighting the Christians.

Sansa Stark (GoT)

Sansa was the epitome of the “male fantasy” a timid, petite white girl who needed to be saved. And the only way they could change that and make her strong for the viewers was through years and years to sexual humiliation and abuse.

Jeoffery humiliated Sansa again and again, in the court but that was not her breaking point. It was when she was sold off to Ramsay who then raped that she was considered strong. But to be honest for me Sansa was strong from the start and rape storyline was nothing but way of promoting sexual violence on the silver screen to attract a larger body of male viewers.

Brooke Davis (OTH)

Brooke is one of the most iconic and forever green characters on screen. But in during season 5 or 6 an intruder entered her house and assaulted her (I am not sure if sexual violence was involved or not). That was a plot line that the writers dragged on for a long period of time and for a while it did add to her story line but then it was completely forgotten.

That plot did nothing for Brooke’s character growth as she a was strong independent women before it happened and she was the same person after the events occurred.

(I am sorry for this post being too white, I couldn’t think of more PoC characters for this post. If you can remember any please feel free to add them. As, women of color are shown in more violent sexual situations than white women on screen.)

The point of this post is that sexual violence never adds anything to the female characters growth. Then why is it portrayed on screen? For shock value?

[butwhatifidothis]

What this fic wants me to feel about Sylvain, Ingrid, and Lysithea attacking Woobiegard in her SS vision: "Poor Woobiegard! To have her dear friends become such monstrous shells of their former selves and attack her so cruelly!" What I actually feel towards Sylvain, Ingrid, and Lysithea in that scene: "You're doing great, sweeties!" Also lol at Captain forcing Dimitri and Claude along for this map but only allowing them to be competent whenever it wouldn't make them outshine poor old Woobiegard.

The SS visions that put Ingrid and Sylvain in that light kinda like... shows off how little he thinks of Dimitri's relationships with his friends, in a way.

We're supposed to genuinely see Edelgard as the victim during her SS visions - it's obvious from the framing of the scenes, from the narration, from how "breaking destiny" is a """theme""" of this fic and SS is supposedly Edelgard and Byleth's "destinies" that need breaking, that we're supposed to feel sad for Edelgard. She's beaten to shit, her sadness and guilt and loneliness is put front and center, the ones beating the shit outta her are described as these horrible twisted versions of themselves, they are the ones the narration says betray Edelgard, etc. etc.. Ingrid and Sylvain can't be mad at Edelgard for, at that point, murdering Dimitri - and likely Felix as well - no, they are the bad guys for turning their backs on Edelgard. Oh, and also Lysithea should just be chill with Edelgard working with the people who tortured her and ruined her family. She's supposed to stay the cute, eternally loyal lil' sister for Edelgard to pat on the head and call a good girl.

Sylvain and Ingrid shouldn't be that close to Dimitri. They should want to kill Dimitri for Edelgard's sake. They should turn their back on their childhood friend, not Edelgard, because Edelgard is obviously better for them. Unintentional or not, that is the subtext Cap'n is laying down when he punishes them for daring to be mad at Edelgard for killing him.

And also, her thinking that they betrayed her means that, at minimum, Edelgard doesn't think she betrays them when she actively puts them in mortal danger by starting her war. For all her talk about how she "can't imagine anyone walking by her side" and how she "knows that her path must be a lonely one," the second people. Y'know. Leave her ass for her horrific, morally reprehensible actions, they become traitors. She "dared" to put her trust in them, and they threw it away. In the end, Edelgard thinks she's morally above everyone else, with anyone who doesn't blindly follow her down her path of bloodshed being deemed as a traitor. All her guilt and all her "recognition" for her actions gets promptly flushed down the shitter.

AND I KNOW like literally he only ham-fisted Dimitri and Claude in the chapel to make them look worse. Their presence changes literally nothing - they don't save more students than if they weren't there, they don't stop Jeralt from dying (since Claude sips on that Dumb Fuck Juice and shoots behind Myson instead of just fuckin' headshotting him, and then he gets sucked into the Void and just leaves the fight scene), they don't uncover any new information. Dimitri was just there to remind everyone that he's cRaZy, and Claude was just there to remind everyone that he's eViL. Just like the visions, just like most of Edelgard's "trauma," you take them out of the chapter entirely and literally nothing changes. We already knew the author hates Dimitri and Claude and we already know the reductive caricatures he sees them as, their presence here does nothing for anything.

They're not allowed to actually shine. Dimitri can't take on the Demonic Beasts and Claude can't try to investigate the cause for the transformation - y'know, letting them show off their strengths - because doing so means that Edelgard isn't the one doing those things.

Dimitri can't be better at taking down Demonic Beasts than Edelgard, shown by him consistently felling them in one strike, which is immensely helpful in saving the students by taking care of the problem quickly; he must reduced to something that's frankly barely better than the Beasts themselves, obviously off his rocker and obviously someone who's just soOoOoOOOo CRAZY GUYS.

Claude can't be better at tracking down what the cause of the students turning into Demonic Beasts is than Edelgard, shown by him noticing the Crest Stone fragments and being forward-thinking enough to try and grab one for research, which could potentially yield extremely vital information everyone can work with; he must be reduced to a morally bankrupt monster who'd loot from dead bodies of poor innocent students.

Cap'n has to reduce them into villainous archetypes to hide the fact that frankly, Edelgard did shit all in that chapter. She didn't fight the Demonic Beasts nearly as well as Dimitri, she doesn't do shit to figure out what's going on with the Crest Stones - or, at minimum, point Byleth in the right direction (since Edelgard would know already lmao) - like Claude, so Dimitri is a raving murder machine and Claude was only out for himself. Giving them an ounce more nuance than that would make it obvious how shit Edelgard is, so he hides that shittiness by overexaggerating certain traits of the other two lords.

And in that same vein, he has to make Sylvain and Ingrid and Lysithea look like horrible traitors to hide the fact that Edelgard is ruining their lives. She killed their best friend(s, if Felix is also dead), she ruined their countries, she threw their lives into nonstop fighting for five years - but she's so sad!!! And Ingrid and Sylvain and Lysithea are bullying her!!! We should feel bad for poor wittle wonewy Edelgard!!!

It takes a baseball bat to the head to any non-Edelstan reader of this fic, because Edelgard literally does nothing to deserve forgiveness, she never earns redemption, she never works for fuckin' anything. She just Sadges at all the """""undeserved""""" hatred flung at her and we're supposed to take that as enough of an arc for her to deserve sympathy from the reader, but no! I'm fuckin' cheerin' Sylvain and Ingrid and Lysithea on when they beat her ass into the dirt! Get rid of her! She's self-centered, she's selfish, she doesn't care about people if they don't grovel at her feet, she started a continent spanning war without even thinking she'll win it, literally throwing away the lives of countless innocent people on the chance that she might hypothetically win, and after all that she still blames everyone else when she faces the consequences of her actions! She's god-awful, and a threat to damn near everyone around her! But nope, she's the author's darling, so actually she's right and everyone else is wrong.

It's very clear that Cap'n will not let Edelgard truly be seen in any kind of negative light; people who fight against her for any reason are bad, people that can't join Edelgard's side but are better than Edelgard at something are bad, people who criticize Edelgard for the awful shit she does are bad. And that's... well. Something, for sure

[airlock]

so, I’ve been showing people this for a while now, but I was thinking today’d be a good day to expose this wretched creation to the world

it was roughly a month shy of a year ago now when Brian David Gilbert did a video where he rated Mortal Kombat characters on the quality of their cuddling, and I’m nothing if not forever smitten with making silly graphs, so I attempted the same thing with the FE16 gang (although I made this before we had the ashen wolves so bear with me on that one)

(for those who aren’t looking to have one of the best 15 minutes of their lives yet: the vertical axis is for emotional availability, the horizontal axis is for physical risk, and a great cuddler lands as close as possible to the middle.)

under the cut I will provide a brief rationale for each of them (and it will be gently spoilery at times, but nothing very major; if you’ve cleared the pre-timeskip on any route you’re good to go)

The Body Pillows (low emotional availability, low physical risk)

Cyril: look, it’s not that he’s not entirely touch-starved deep down, it’s just that he still is supposed to be handling some chores and you’re interrupting him

Gilbert: the only way anything exciting is going to happen with him is if you lean in close to his ears and start speaking heresy

Hilda: she could hypothetically reach the zenith, y’know! but that would be haaaaaard

Ingrid: the good news is, you’ll probably get a great deal of constructive criticism if you cuddle ingrid. let’s leave it at that

Leonie: come for the cuddle session, stay for the advice on how to get a mattress as good as this one but a lot cheaper. like, if you do choose to stay, that’s what you’re getting

Linhardt: you see the name of this archetype? it was made for linhardt

Marianne: she’s really sorry. she knows you said you wanted to cuddle with her, but she thinks you’ll just have a bad time and get disappointed. she's afraid bad things will happen to you if you touch her

The Michael Ceras (high emotional availability, low physical risk)

Alois: ever wonder what happens to a himbo when he breeds? like, dadification? well, you don’t have to anymore

Anna: imagine someone trying to cuddle you and, every single time they move around or try something, they ask you, “IS THAT THE ONE?”

Ashe: if so little happens as, say, you shift and rustle something and a draft blows in at the same time, he will assume it’s a ghost coming for him. if you really wanted to, you could scare him on purpose. oh god, you’re going to do it, aren’t you. you bastard. you villain. you meanypoop

Ferdinand: “am I, ferdinand von aegir, cuddling you better than edelgard? am I, ferdinand von aegir, cuddling you better than edelgard? am I, ferd”

Ignatz: don’t be fooled into thinking he’ll make a canvas of your body; he gets ideas for sure, but they’re all too scandalous for his shy little hands

Mercedes: why cuddle with her when you could get roughly the same effect by falling asleep to an ASMR compilation

Petra: to have honesty, she tries with a small amount of too much hardness

Raphael: aw, he might be a big guy, but he knows not to hurt you! just don’t expect him to know a lot of other things

Sylvain: as easy as it is to get him into a bed, you’ll really be wishing you’d taken him to a therapist’s couch instead

brian didn’t name these (low emotional availability, high physical risk)

Catherine: those calloused hands might feel nice until the part where they’re abruptly zooming into your face

Edelgard: you know what it means to cuddle with someone who “dislikes losing control”? it’s just not an experience designed around the idea of you having a good time

Felix: watch him find some way to turn this cuddle session into a spar session

Hanneman: cuddling hanneman is all fine and well until he goes for the blood sample extraction

Hubert: he nasty

Jeritza: “why are we cuddling? why won’t you spar with me?”

Lysithea: are you the kind of person who always hoped to die comfortably laid on a bed? if so, there’s exactly one thing that’s going the way you wanted it to in this scenario

Rhea: this isn’t even speculative, it’s empirical. you can, in actual canon, on any route, witness a scene where Rhea cuddles you and it’s fucking terrifying

Shamir: the least you’ll want to do if you find yourself cuddling shamir is to telegraph your every move; if she feels something unexpected, she might assume it’s a bug, and your finger will thus be pest controlled

The Scissorhands (high emotional availability, high physical risk)

Annette: cuddle annette and you will experience things you could never have imagined. things she could never have imagined either, because she didn’t mean for them to happen, and yet, somehow, they did.

Bernadetta: at the very least, she’s the girl to ask if you want the ultimate range of possibility. anything can happen, from her fainting to you fainting

Caspar: don’t mistake this shrimp for an ordinary himbo; given enough provocation he can and will jump into the nearest fight with you still attached to his shoulders

Dimitri: so needy, and yet, so likely to break your everything with so much as a hug... an archetypal scissorhand

Flayn: you’d think it’d be a decent time, besides the fish smell, but if you touch flayn you get vaporized by seteth, that’s just how it goes, it’s a law of nature

Lorenz: say what you will about the man, he’s open to experiments. for better or for worse. ever wonder which new and exciting places you don’t want to find a rose in?

Manuela: if you remember spending the night with manuela, you will wish you didn’t. if you don’t remember spending the night with manuela, you will wish you did

Tier List Rodrigue: look at how close he already is. you will never be apart from him again. it’s too late

The Cuddler’s Zenith (perfectly balanced)

Dedue: the strength to make dimitri look like a twink, and the wisdom to tell you not to eat the weeds -- what’s there not to love?

Dorothea: she’s full of youthful, bisexual energy; one day it will expire into a manuela-esque deposit of issues, but if today’s not that day, best not to wait until tomorrow

Gatekeeper: greetings, professor! nothing to report! nothing to disturb our calm, dreamy night

Seteth: don’t be fooled by all of that stiff hardass act he puts on; he’s stronger than he looks... and even softer

Sothis: hang out with her, and you might feel like you could touch the sky, or rip it a new one

Claude: look, I’m not going to explain this to you. just touch the nearest object around you. do you experience a sensation when you do so? if you do, then you have everything you need in order to understand, all by yourself, that claude is the most sublime cuddler in all of Fódlan and beyond

[renegade-anarchist]

What if....We simultaneously had alter egos that met at a parade while I tried to kill one of ur dads but got caught by someone who is on ur team but doesn’t know that it’s really u so we battle it out only for me to stab u and shock u because I’m not like most prodigies and I escape only to come running back to u but neither of us know it and then I join ur team because ur the only team that picked me because everyone else underestimated my abilities so then I go through the motions of being a Renegade and find out that one of ur dads entered my families’ deaths into the system so I know that he had at least tried but failed and then I scare ur brother because I catch him using telekinesis which only my uncle could use to such an extent and he ends up cutting himself on his glass figurines that you drew for him because he has the best brother in the entire world so I try to save him but fail because I didn’t realize that he could steal powers so you bring me sandwiches but realize that I’m in the quarantine with him so you put me above everything else including your powers to rescue me but accidentally out urself as the sentinel to ur brother by jumping really far and when we’re safe I wake up and scream and u explain everything and then before all that we interview a villain who knows my secret identity and almost reveals who I am but then gives a clue as to where I might frequent, and then after the quarantine incident we go to an amusement park idk one but let’s just make one up really quick for time’s sake ummm?? Cosmopolis park maybe? So we go there and it turns out to be a date but then we go inside a fun house and split up and I turn into my alter ego and ur like “omg Ive found the person who might know who killed my mother bc she said the quote that was written next to her when she was found dead” and then it turns out that I’m fighting Ingrid who blackmailed me and then we fake battle it out only for her to actually try and kill me but I make it out alive and I kill her instead and so I come out of the rubble because she tried to blow me up and ur like wow u survived nice I love it when u do that so you chivalrously carry me off and try to kiss me but I get too scared of my emotions and refuse to acknowledge the fact that i love you so i give you a dumb excuse and take off only to be on a rooftop with u months later taking down a villain but then an agent N presentation starts which makes me furious and u as well but ur more calm about it but this then makes our friend-idk what should we name her?Danna?Ok-Danna suspicious because I’m talking like an anarchist and I put her to sleep a while back thinking I was slick but I really wasn’t so then she follows me around for a while in swarm mode because she can turn into monarch butterflies so then we have to start Agent N training and I snatch some vials because the renegades are cocky and think that people won’t try that so I try to little by little flirt with you only for YOU to reject my kiss when the time comes and I think you’ve gotten over me and dont love me anymore and it makes me so confused when I come over to your house that you’re so cool about it but slightly skeptical and I see that you’ve drawn me an entire jungle but not just any jungle, it’s a jungle from my dream that I had told you about and then u help me fall asleep for the 1st time in a decade and i wake up 24 hours later and ur drawing birds and then I’m like SHOOT WHAT IF I SAID SOMETHING IN MY SLEEP TO GIVE ME AWAY but u don’t mention anything so then we have dinner with your parents and then we go to your room and you ask me out to a Gala as an official date and then I whisper “okay” and then we make out on ur couch but I put u to sleep with my powers and steal the vitality charm from ur house and leave and ur confused because u can’t remember when u fell asleep so then later on I show up to the gala an hour late and leave early and break into HQ and steal back the helmet but in the process im the reason ur brother gets severely injured and you ask me to help u kill me.....haha jk.... UNLE-

[rm-cannot]

It was hell

It took me 2 hours, but I finished reading the story I wrote when I was 10 and, as I expected, it was the worst thing I have ever laid my eyes on. (Also concerningly NOT APPROPRIATE for children. despite being written by one) There were good moments (though very little) and bad moments (took up 95% of it) and I took the time to write down some of my thoughts. Please enjoy my favourites.

First thought: Sit down, buckle up, welcome to the shit-show and it only gets worse from here.

BRUH I THOUGHT SHE DIED?!

Why does she have kids with everyone?

Where the FUCK did he come from??

Victor is my new favourite.

Merida?!

NO VICTOR YOU BETRAYED ME!!

Of course she would reject you, Victor, the first thing you did was threaten to kill her.

This is worse than that Draco fanfic where y/n fucked everyone. It took y/n a few years for like, 8 boys, it took Merida 3 days for 7 boys.

(everytime a new love interest was introduced) ANOTHER ONE

THAT WAS FANTASTIC! I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!

I WAS WRONG!

No, no! It can’t be.... JEDREK’S FATHER!! DUN DUN DUNNNNN

what kinda crack was 10 year old me taking??

I’m getting enemies to lovers vibes from this, and i am loving it!

NO NO NO! The torture was the good bit!

I have to agree with the bimbo at this point. Merida is better at being a prostitute than she is at being a princess.

STOP STOP STOP I HATE THIS NO MORE KIDS, NO MORE SEX IT’S UNHEALTHY NO MORE AFFAIRS NO MORE MEN CAN MERIDA GET A REDEMPTION ARC WHERE SHE KILLS THEM AND MARRIES INGRID?

YASS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF OUR QUEEN IS ARRIVING!

NO NO NO I WAS WRONG!!

Agreed, favourite character #2!

Favourite #2 no more, you traitor!

IFLQEYLBDSCYQEFLCASHVEFY “What is this piece called?” “The unspeakable rage that comes from reading this story.”

Song of Achilles flashbacks

Villains are stupid reason #1: King decides to send servant to work for a nicer king instead of executing him for high treason.

WHY DOES SHE HAVE 4 KIDS??? ALL FROM DIFFERENT FATHERS??

Does she have a breeding kink??? It would explain whatever omegaverse looking shit this is.

Ingrid will never betray me.

Whoever’s POV this is, I stan them. 

I WAS WRONG AGAIN

Mary became the one thing she hated.... Birds of several genera within the family Phasianidae in the order galliformes. (a pheasant)

I KNEW INGRID WAS IMPORTANT!!

TF

That’s 2 men in one chapter!!

TF?? How did she get to that conclusion??

ANOTHER ONE sums up this entire story

NO NO NO TF??? ANOTHER ONE?? NOT ANOTHER GUY!! YOU JUST MET LIKE 2 MINUTES AGO!! ARE YOU INSANE??!!! YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!! YOU GOT 5 HUSBANDS, DISNEY PRINCESS LOOKING ASS-

Me- why? 10 years old me- why not? me- why tho? old me- why not??

me- you want me to jump across this table cause i don’ have all day for this, ok? Old me- you feeling froggy? leap. (slams down another pregnancy) me- THAT’S IT YOU LITTLE SHIT--

Drake #2 can’t do SHIT

You had sex ONCE and your already saying ‘I love you?🥺’ FUCK THIS 

Merida was def seeing another man i don’t know why you bother asking

Someone: “what was the first story you wrote?” Me: *War flashbacks*

Dinner parties written by me ALWAYS end in chaos

“This is inevitably going to go wrong.” no truer words have been spoken

I LOVE the sister bonding time. i wish i could stay in this chapter forever, but alas, the shit-show must go on.

TF IS AN M.R.?? A MARRIAGE GLADIATOR STYLE??

I WAS RIGHT!!

“I’m ready to marry him.” BITCH you’ve had like... 50 husbands and cheated on all of them. I highly doubt you’re ready.

‘he growled’ 10 YEAR OLD ME WAS SARAJ J MAAS BEFORE SARAH J MAAS PUBLISHED TOG

tbh a fight to the marriage sounds pretty cool

Literally all the love interests when Merida says she’s pregnant with her brother’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend’s cousin’s best friend’s baby: It’s spelled D-I-L-L-I-G-A-F dilligaf! and it means: Do I look like i give a fuck?

The love interests should become Armonal’s harem. Poor boy needs a boyfriend.

That was supposed to be epic but even little me could tell it was shit

IT ENDED ON AN ODD NUMBER???

Last thought: That was a trip I’m glad ended.

[glenngaylord]

MY MOMENTS OUT OF TIME IN FILM 2017

Instead of a Top 10 List, every year I like to honor a long-discontinued but influential annual column from Film Comment magazine. I couldn’t wait for my father to come home from work with the “Moments Out Of Time” issue.  The writers would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked, because let’s face it, even bad films may have a great moment or two, unless you were a film called RINGS, CATFIGHT, THE SNOWMAN, or THE DINNER.  In that case, you suck in the most forgettable of ways. Despite some obvious stinkers, this was a great year for film. Some resonated with me, such as I, TONYA and THE FLORIA PROJECT as they tackled the issue of class in America.  Despite being period pieces, films such as DARKEST HOUR and THE POST pinged on topics such as war-mongering and the need for a free press, both of which we seem to talk about daily right now.  I have a few I need to catch up on, such as MUDBOUND and THE SQUARE, and one I recently saw, A GHOST STORY, wowed me, but I haven’t written a review of it yet.  

Even I can’t see them all, so here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time in film for 2017:

“America. They want someone to love, but they want someone to hate, and the haters always say, 'Tonya, tell the truth!' There’s no such thing as truth. I mean it’s bullshit! Everyone has their own truth.” - I, TONYA

A little girl (the great Brooklyn Prince) stands in front of a motel room door, telling her little friends they’re not allowed to enter.  She pauses, and then mischievously says, “But let’s go anyways!”  in a moment of pure rebellious, but dangerous joy. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

A young man (Lucas Hedges) begs his girlfriend (Saoirse Ronan) not to out him in one of the most touching moments of the year. - LADY BIRD

A woman (Cynthia Nixon’s blazing portrayal of Emily Dickinson) desperate to connect with someone, anyone, lights up whenever she’s around her soon-to-depart friend.  It’s a joy you wish she could have at all times.  It’s that ache to spar with another human that cuts to the core of this lonely tragedy. - A QUIET PASSION.  

Try watching the “I did not hit her” rooftop filmmaking sequence without bursting with glee.  One of the best-sustained comedy sequences of the year. - THE DISASTER ARTIST

A beautiful, long final shot of a young man (Timothée Chalamet) swimming in his tearful thoughts as the end credits role will break your heart. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

So will his father’s (Michael Stulbarg) 11th hour speech to him. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

A ghost in a white sheet with two eye holes, who has traveled across time for centuries, finally finds something important, which jogs his memory, making him feel less alone in the world, and then in a startling swish, is gone. - A GHOST STORY

Meryl Streep, in the most delicious long pause of 2017, struggles with the tough decision whether to publish the Pentagon Papers or not.  She conveys every pro and con with a series of reactions, leaving the audience breathless until she finally, and thrillingly, becomes a feminist heroine for the ages. - THE POST

Sure, it’s ostensibly Daniel Day-Lewis’ last film, but it’s the women, one with a deadening stare (Leslie Manville) and the other with the best eye flutter I’ve ever seen (Vicky Krieps), who take charge of this fascinatingly perverse story of control. - PHANTOM THREAD

A cleaning woman (Octavia Spencer) dusts a giant steampunk contraption as her mute co-worker looks on, sending the increasingly magical fable into a visually stunning dreamscape. - THE SHAPE OF WATER

“You know I can’t give you the keys, right babe?”  A chilling line in a scene in which a sympathetic, engaging character transforms into a monster, making Allison Williams, so often hated and too easily dismissed on GIRLS, as someone to REALLY watch as her career rises and rises.  - GET OUT

A beloved, iconic character from the original film makes a stunning, surprise appearance.  Despite it being CGI, this was the movie-movie moment of 2017. - BLADE RUNNER 2049

A bellicose, raging Prime Minister, known for his speeches, sits quietly with the square-ish frame filled with dark, negative space and seemingly lit by a single, too-bright light bulb.  He’s alone and yet belongs to us all, the push-pull of this theme resonating throughout the entire film. - DARKEST HOUR

“This didn't put an end to shit, you fucking retard; this is just the fucking start. Why don't you put that on your Good Morning Missouri fucking wake up broadcast, bitch?” - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Bill Skarsgård’s reading of the line, “Take it!” will haunt me for years. His Pennywise proved to be surprisingly haunting and indelible. - IT

The film’s not great, but Christopher Plummer and Ridley Scott deserve all the “We’re Not Worthy’s” for pulling off the Great Kevin Spacey Replacement of 2017 in 9 days, and actually delivering a full-bodied, memorable character in the process. - ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD

A desperate thief uses his smarts to wheel his badly-injured brother out of the hospital in an impressive feat.  It shows a whip-smart mind in the body of  person with lost potential, and in a moment which proves this well-meaning guy just can’t get a break, it turns out he took the wrong person. - GOOD TIME

Michael Cera, even more villainous and sociopathic than he was in THIS IS THE END, and apparently channeling Tobey Maguire, freaked me out as a hateful, poker-playing celeb. - MOLLY’S GAME

Ok, people will be talking about the biplane scene forever, but nothing made me laugh more than Tiffany Haddish’s reading of this line:  “Girl, you can't get no infection in your booty hole! It's a booty hole!” - GIRLS TRIP

Bridget Everett, in a blazingly intense performance, sings the shit out of Lita Ford’s KISS ME DEADLY in a dive bar and transforms herself from comedienne to serious dramatic actor. - PATTI CAKE$

A crazed woman (Aubrey Plaza) barges in on the wedding of a social media friend and maces her for not getting on the invite list, giving the Facebook effect its full and insane due. - INGRID GOES WEST

A young woman, unable to take one more second of her overbearing, judgmental mother (Laurie Metcalf), surprisingly jumps out of a moving car. - LADY BIRD

Charlize Theron kicks one ass after another in a seemingly single shot (but not really), making this one of the greatest fight sequences ever filmed. - ATOMIC BLONDE

Algee Smith finds the heart of the story as a musician who struggles with his ambitions after a harrowing all-night encounter with racists cops. - DETROIT

Say what you will about the insanity that unspools, but Michelle Pfeiffer as the houseguest from hell was fun to watch and sorely missed when not onscreen. - MOTHER!

As Elton John’s ROCKET MAN plays on the radio, Bille Jean King (Emma Stone) and her new girlfriend Marilyn (Andrea Riseborough) drive in sun-dappled glory, their hair blowing around with each surprising gust of wind.  It’s a perfect evocation of the 70s. - BATTLE OF THE SEXES

After following around an imaginative, enterprising man (Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc) as he develops the most successful fast food chain in the world, and seeing his as a hero, he transforms into a terrible villain about halfway through, making us question the value of the American Dream. - THE FOUNDER

A suicidal Spud, his head covered in suffocating plastic, leans back in his chair and falls backwards off the top of a building, but a flash cut send him to the floor of his apartment where Renton (Ewan McGregor) slides under him to catch him.  One of the most imaginative, emotional cuts in a film I’ve seen this year. - T2 TRAINSPOTTING

Don’t heckle Kumail Nanjiani!  Holly Hunter WILL read you to filth by interjecting, “That is like saying that all frat boys wearing country club hats and Hawaiian shirts have shriveled up  tiny little dicks!” - THE BIG SICK

A young man throws himself down in the sand as bombs explode closer and closer to him. A spectacular feat of cinematography and muffled sound, and one of the greatest shots in cinema history. - DUNKIRK

A mother kicks the chair her little daughter sits in, sending her flying.  A sudden, impactful depiction of abuse. - I, TONYA

Tom Cruise emerges from a crashed plane, his face hilariously covered in cocaine. - AMERICAN MADE

A seemingly sweet young man (Barry Keoghan, my favorite new actor of the year) changes his entire demeanor and quickly, chillingly tells a doctor (Colin Farrell), in no uncertain terms, what is going to happen to him and his family. - THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER

The best opening sequence award of the year easily goes to a film which mixed musical filmmaking with kinetic car chases and an endearing sense of rhythm. - BABY DRIVER

Eels creepily slither around a woman in a tub in an otherwise completely forgettable, indulgent film - A CURE FOR WELLNESS

Adam Sandler winningly loses his shit as he searches for a parking space. - THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES - NEW AND SELECTED

“See!  I took you on a safari!” exclaims Brooklyn Prince to her friend as they stand in front of a herd of cattle. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

An ape, bigger than ever portrayed before, emerges out of nowhere and swats down helicopters like flies as the camera gloriously swirls around him.  It’s APOCALYPSE NOW’s famous attack scene, but this time the invaded kick the invaders’ asses. - KONG: SKULL ISLAND

A messy trainwreck of a person (Anne Hathaway) lugs a mattress around town and literally confronts her inner demons. - COLOSSAL

A major character unexpectedly spits up blood on another, in a shocking moment (and there are a few in this film) I’ll remember for a long time. - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

French ACT-UP AIDS activists throw blood all over the offices of a pharmaceutical company, and heroically help change the speed at which drugs were approved for a population in desperate need of good news. - BPM

Despite being a thrilling adventure film, the quiet moments, such as the wonderful final shot of a woman walking out of a room and into the jungle, made this stirring yarn into something more internal and thoughtful. - THE LOST CITY OF Z

By this time, we’ve seen too many cars racing around, so instead we focus on the pleasure of seeing a dreadlocked Charlize Theron deliciously chewing the scenery from the evil lair of her jet, sending her into Faye Dunaway territory. - THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

The unexpected death of a major star, as a gelatinous, alien creature slides down his throat, destroying him from the inside out in zero gravity, may feel straight out of the ALIEN textbook, but it’s memorable nonetheless. - LIFE

I’m usually not a sucker for Disney movie songs, but I have not been able to get EVERMORE out of my head ever since I saw the film, and I mean that in a really good way. - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Same goes for Elvis Costello’s fantastic contribution with YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, from a beautiful but not-great movie. - FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

Instead of the chestburster, we get the backbreaker, and instead of John Hurt, we get a character we don’t care about…but it STILL manages to be freaky and cool in an otherwise execrable film. - ALIEN: COVENANT

Can we please distribute LICK MY ASS, DIANE t-shirts to every person on earth, or at least make it THE trending hashtag of the year?!! - I, TONYA

Gal Godot donning the titular, classic costume for the first time in the film, charges through the emotional No Man’s Land sequence and into our hearts. - WONDER WOMAN

A seemingly liberal father over-explains his love for Obama to his daughter’s new black boyfriend (Daniel Kaluuya), who makes the Dad feel ok about his issues with race.  It keenly pinpoints the struggle people of color have trying to make white people more comfortable about their discomfort. - GET OUT

Willem Dafoe’s Manager expertly takes charge of a potential child molester, demonstrating his heartwarming, soulful protection of the lovable but annoying little brats who live in his motel. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

The camera whooshes from ground level to an overhead shot as a determined skater prepares for an important routine. - I, TONYA

Yes, the movie is an unholy mess, but Hong Chau’s “I go to Norway” speech is just a little masterpiece. - DOWNSIZING

Feet moving on red splotches of sand as they battle with their light sabers. - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

A return to the iPhone footage he used in TANGERINE pays off perfectly in the final sequence, a rush of imagination, and a surprising and unforgettable place to take your little survivor of a main character, even if it’s potentially just a fantasy.  It doesn’t change the fact that a neglected but loved little girl wants a little escape. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

[wittykittybookblog]

Dog Lost by Ingrid Lee

I saw this book in my local library and was immediately drawn to the title and cover. Written in 2008, and based on a true story, it’s a powerful tale of a pit bull puppy, Cash, who, in protecting her best friend, MacKenzie, angers the boy’s father, who hauls her off to the middle of nowhere to fend for herself. At first everyone is scared of the dog, since she’s considered a “dangerous breed,” but Cash is no vicious predator. Not only does she refuse to fight when she is captured by the leader of a horrid dog-fighting ring, but she ends up saving the lives of more than one human, as well as that of a cat used as bait by the dog fighters. Written by a Canadian writer, Ingrid Lee, the book was published at a time when Ontario was considering whether to ban the breed, which would have led to the euthanasia of entire shelters. Cash is a shining example of the ludicrous cruelty of such a law. And yet, I know from the Best Friends documentary, “The Champions,” about the rehabilitation of the Michael Vick dogs, that Ontario does have such a ban, so, sadly, it passed. I remember Montreal was deciding whether to enact something similar a year or two ago. It was put on hold then. This book reminds me to check up on that. I really hope it never passed. As “Dog Lost” shows, it is people who are the villains, not the dogs.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

6.18 Where Bluebirds Fly

I’m having a difficult time writing an intro this week, because every time I think about the second scene my brain shorts out for a minute. I know a bunch of stuff happened other than this, but what?

In the past: On her way to the Emerald City, young Zelena befriends a woodcutter named Stanum, an unusual youth who does not fear her magic and who is impressed by her kindness and her use of magic to help others. Many years later, when she rules Oz, Stanum returns to ask his old friend for help. He is under a curse that will turn his body to tin unless someone helps him retrieve a magical heart guarded by a terrible monster.

Slightly terrible anyway.

At first inclined to dismiss his plea, Zelena is goaded into accompanying him in order to prove that she is indeed the most powerful witch around. Although she defeats the monster and retrieves the heart, she scoffs at the idea that having a friend would be worth the price the artifact demands: giving up her magic. She abandons Stanum to his fate.

In the present: The Black Fairy approaches Zelena and suggests that an alliance would be best for her and her daughter’s well-being. Hook and Emma’s morning plans are interrupted by Snow, who is determined to get this wedding in motion, but they are sidetracked by the news about the Black Fairy. Zelena is minded to take her on by herself, and stalks off. Regina is supposed to investigate the wand piece Tiger Lily sent to Emma but does not get around to it.

Rumple tells Belle about Gideon’s heart. The Blue Fairy remains in her coma, unable to be wakened until her magic is restored; Rumple has played into his mother’s hands by removing the one person who ever knew the Black Fairy from the conflict.

Zelena asks Belle to babysit while she goes off to the mines to hunt down the Black Fairy by herself. Charming discovers that Henry has tried to force the Final Battle to a good end using the magic pen, but it’s not working; Emma must fight. Henry, too, is drafted into the planning activities.

Regina finds Zelena and attempts to stop her. The argument escalates into a physical fight, causing a partial rockfall that blocks the way back.  

Snow and Charming argue about the suitability of different venues and eventually of doing this at all with the Final Battle looming; Emma at last intervenes and says they ought to wait. They love each other, they’re comfortable, and there’s no need to get married at high speed just in case they all die.

In the mines, there is more arguing until the sisters stumble across a vein of fairy crystal. The Black Fairy and Gideon arrive. Assigning her minion to delay Regina, the Black Fairy leads Zelena down to her lair and baits her into doing magical battle -- which turns all of the crystal dark, meaning that they can now be used to fuel her evil, um, whatever it is she plans to do that will be the Final Battle. She then poofs the sisters away. Regina tells Zelena that she may as well go back to Oz while the rest of them clean up her mess.

Zelena summons a twister from Oz to bring her the Crimson Heart, and use it to destroy her magic, returning the crystals to their normal state and thwarting whatever the Black Fairy wanted. It was probably bad.

From Zelena, the others learn about Blue’s condition and that she is being kept on ice in Gold’s shop. Emma uses a piece of the crystal to restore her magic, meaning that she can now be wakened.

The Black Fairy appears unperturbed by the crystal setback; the really important thing is that Rumple doesn’t learn (presumably from Blue) why she gave him up as an infant.

Parallels: The very heavy-handed Oz flashback talked about how what Zelena really needs is friends, and if she wasn’t so messed up she would value their lives more than her magic, more than this idea that she needs to be the strongest witch around. In the present-day timeline, she makes that sacrifice even though other people are not necessarily behaving a friendly fashion to her.

The line “who’s ready to put their hearts into some wedding planning” feeds into “the Black Fairy has Gideon’s heart?” in one of their odder transitions to date.

Snow draws the parallel between her wedding to Charming under threat from Regina and her desire to plan Emma and Hook’s; “it gave people hope.”

Wardrobe Department:

In Hindsight: I’m gonna have to assume that Dorothy came along and rescued this guy later, and also that once Glinda got banished, all of the other witch positions went evil, because what the hell else do I make of the “wicked witch of the North”?

I don’t particularly like the way they’re writing Snow, but I do feel that it’s consistent. She’s talking about her daughter’s wedding as if it’s a political stage event, not so much taking the lead on as entirely taking over the planning process in a way that makes Emma’s participation appear an afterthought, and this is, unfortunately, the way Snow seems to work. She talks a good game, but she never seems to be on quite the same wavelength as her daughter.

On to bigger issues. I have a problem with the writing on the show this season, at least as far as the Mills sisters are concerned. Maybe this is inevitable when you try to redeem a major villain, but it’s making me very uncomfortable. I feel like they’re crossing the line between explaining and excusing villainy these days. I posted this bit separately while I was writing this review, but I’m going to include it here and expand on it a little.

The show has not been all that big on showcasing acts of direct restitution. There have been a handful for Hook, there was Rumple’s death in 3a, and Ingrid’s death. But where they have done that, I always felt like the emphasis was where it ought to be, on the damage that was done to the other character. We know a lot about Baelfire, for instance, so Hook handing him over to Pan and Rumple letting him go through the portal are very meaningful events for all of the characters; the impact is clear. Ursula’s story was swiftly but fully sketched in “Poor Unfortunate Souls.”

With “Page 23″ and “Where Bluebirds Fly,” the emphasis is on the perpetrator’s emotional pain. We never learn anything at all about Stanum, about who he is or why he got cursed or why he’s so keen to befriend Zelena. He exists in the flashback purely to provide psychological analysis that is mirrored in the present day by the Black Fairy. In “Page 23” the focus is 100% on Regina -- not the fairy who destroyed her own life trying to save her, not the father she would later murder in cold blood, and not the villagers she terrorized for years.

With these two episodes, it seems like we are supposed to feel sympathy for Regina and Zelena while they are committing some of their most terrible acts of villainy, because the story has now gone to lengths to explain that they were sad the whole time. We ignore both the suffering they cause in others and the fact that they were sad due to situations they largely created themselves. The disposability of characters in this show has always been a problem, but it seems even worse than usual to me in these episodes. Ingrid became more sympathetic to us over the course of the season, but there was never a point where the show seemed to say “well, that’s all right then” about anything that she did.

(I can talk about “Swan Song” if anyone wants, but I feel the emphasis was very different there.)

When you provide a sympathetic focus to how the villain feels *while they are engaged in acts of villainy*, that’s… well, that kinda skeeves me out. It approaches if doesn’t downright become excuse-making; the audience is led to prioritize one character’s emotional state over others’ actual lives. The victims become invisible in this scheme. Given that we’ve already replaced Robin with a new version who was never Zelena’s victim -- a novel form of erasure I must admit -- I really cannot enjoy any of this storylne.

The Mills’ sisters relationship in this episode, in this whole season, has been one dose of high-octane weird after another. They start the season on a high note, but it quickly sours; even at her nicest, with all of the darkness(™) sucked out of her heart, Regina can’t forgive Zelena for her role in Robin’s death. The evil side of Regina, meanwhile, courts Zelena on the strength of their grotesque similarities, only to betray her and eventually try to kill her. Since the two Regina halves made up and split their evil difference, Zelena has barely been in the story at all, but it seems that Regina has extended no olive branches. In this episode, Regina -- who certainly doesn’t seem any nicer to me than she ever has in the past -- is quick to take on a self-righteous tone, quick to take offense and to dismiss her sister’s losses, quick to attack when Zelena fails to cooperate. She can be magnanimous at the end of the episode, of course, secure now in being the more powerful of the Mills sisters, but I am at a loss to figure how we’re supposed to take all of this.

It seems to me that they decided against Regina as the final villain at some point, but also that they forgot to write Regina as even marginally likeable after making that choice.

As much as I enjoy looking at her, the Black Fairy continues to be the worst villain in the history of the show, on a par with Hades. There’s no THERE there, no history, no connection, no motives -- a void where there should be a story element. Literally all she has done at this point is talk (and kill that one guy in the flashback). I could not care less about whatever additional bit of sad backstory they’re going to saddle Rumple with this weekend.

[mystomachfeelsawful]

4:10 PM

I can’t say a lot of things for lots of reasons.

TOP 5 (which I can talk about). In no order.

PLAYS

The Last Wife was my biggest surprise of the year. I went into it thinking I’d hate it, but was charmed by the pace of the script, the quick staging, the ensemble and pretty much everything about it.

Passing Strange made me actually appreciate a musical which I’ve long hated. 

Prince Hamlet made me get Hamlet for the first time. 

Fish Eyes Trilogy was a masterclass in BAM.

Superior Donuts had one of my favourite fights I’ve ever seen on a Toronto Stage. Corner Gas meets violence. So much heart and an incredible set.

BONUS CREDITS: Delirium, Pearle Harbour’s Chataqua, True North Mixtape, Less, Dolphin, 

FILMS

3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Loved how you cared about every single character. 

Lady Bird - Coming of Age done right. So economic aside from a kind of extra ending.

Get Out - I’ve never seen Luke cry in a theatre before or an entire theatre cheer when a hero finally gets his justice. I’ve also never felt as relieved as I did when the ending came. So well thought out.

Baby Driver - Style for dayyys. Jamie Foxx, Eiza Gonzalez and John Hamm kill it.

The Disaster Artist - Made me sniffle a bit I loved how they didn’t go for the cheap laugh in making fun of Tommy Wiseau. You really get that he tried to make this movie in spite of his utter lack of ability.

Bonus Credits: It, The Florida Project, Ingrid Goes West, Coco, Shape of Water, Logan, Wonder Woman, A Silent Voice, Your Name

Games

Dragon Age Inquisition - I sunk 80 hours into this and still haven’t beaten it.My quinari mage will reign someday.

Persona 5(!) - Futaba’s social link is probably my favourite social link in all personas because it deals with anxiety, trauma and agoraphobia in a way that I dunno....just works for me. I also love how you’re actually an underdog in this one. Everyone hates you because you’re a criminal, so the bonds you form are actually REAL. Sure there’s a load of problematic stuff (which is IMO, more a problem with Japanese RPGs as a whole regarding the way they treat women and queer folk), and the villains are saturday morning cartoon characters, and the plot falls apart at the end, but I think the idea of a bunch of losers banding together will ALWAYS appeal to me. It’s the only Persona where i cared about the main story more than the social links. In fact, it’s also the only persona where I didn’t want to romance anyone because they seemed like real, cool, people.

Breath of the Wild (my first Zelda! - If Studio Ghibli and Skyrim had a baby. I loved how the story existed if you sought it out, but wasn’t there if you didn’t make an effort to find it. I loved Zelda’s character development. I loved how much PERSONALITY the world had and how sparse it was. I didn’t like the young female voice acting (why are they speaking in their headvoice). And that SCORE THOUGH.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mETAEJY_rk8 

Tales of Berseria - Combat was completely underwhelming and the backtracking sucked, but there was something so endearing about playing as antagonists that I really appreciated. Especially considering how in the first hour you burn half a bishonen’s face off. I also cried like a baby. Next to Abyss, one of the best Tales stories for me. Too bad the combat is broken and the world is boring af. If only they could have the world of Vesperia, the story of Abyss/Vesperia and the combat of Graces (which they almost did, but Velvet breaks the game), then we’d be set. Also, get Go Shiina back. Motoi needs a break.

Doki Doki Literature Club - Um. Yeah. I beat this 12 hours ago and can’t stop thinking about it. 2017′s undertale for me. I loved how not only it bent the game save file, but also fucked with the game files itself. One of the more interesting meta narratives I’ve come across. It also raises (though could be explored deeper) some of the problematic elements of moe visual novels, especially in that Monika seems to be unable to control how much she loves you due to her programming. Monika’s awareness that she’s in a game and her frustration toward her affection toward the player created some neat subtext in terms of female characters’ agency vs how they’re written. Super well thought out. 

Experiences 

2017 was a year of trust for me. Trusting myself, processes and knowing when to let things be. 

Silk Bath - continues to be an unexpected surprise. We nearly sold out our entire NSTF run and have a little residency through tarragon’s workspace program. I also think that we’re finally learning what the heart of the play is about and how to work together as a collective. 

Bathtub Girls/Weesageechak/Cahoots - I got my first pro dramaturgy gig this year and finally worked with artists who I’ve never met before. AHHH. Both experiences were illuminating in radically different ways. I think, if anything, working as a dramaturg has given me the ability to trust in other artists more. From the work with the foremen, to being in natural resources and now training as a dramaturg, I’d like to think I’m becoming a better collaborator and facilitator rather than dictator director. Madeleine Says Sorry this summer (an unexpected hit) had a very different directorial process because I feel I trusted the artists more than I usually do. I still have my usual rigor, but sometimes letting things happen and planting seeds is better than bluntly throwing someone down a corridor so to speak. 

Knife - continues to be developed at Factory. I’ve never been in development with a script this long, but it’s so informative to be in a process where a company is invested in it’s development first rather than rushing it to the stage. It’s been all sorts of challenging in ways where I feel I’ve almost got it, but then missed, or moments where I think I’ve blown it and it actually works. I think one of my biggest realizations from 2016 was that I can’t rush work out. And with Knife, I’m learning the benefits of taking my time, but also what a longer commitment feels like when the inside (does that sound gross). As it continues to shift and change, I’m excited to see where it goes. It’s good also knowing that someone has your back. I’m going into a workshop in April, but there’s still loads more work to do, which is both daunting and exciting.

I NOW KNOW HOW TO MAKE BEEF STEW WITH TENDER MEAT - So like not really an accomplishment, but fuck it, it’s actually a big one. Beef Stew is my favourite food of maybe all time. More than sushi, more than pasta, more than anything. My family on my mom’s side used to run the only Chinese restaurant in levack. They had to feed miners, so they learned how to make their food. It’s a family recipe that’s not really a secret, but no one knows how to make it as good as my Poi Poi. My version is a little different, but it tastes great! - and this is weird - it makes me feel more a part of my family than anything else. 

Knowing when to leave - I left two theatre companies I helped found this year. There are a lot of reasons associated with this (both personal and not so personal), but I think I’m figuring out what I want as an artist and my personal ethos in making work. And there’s some things I’m not willing to compromise.

2017 was a development year, but strangely enough by NOT putting out so much work, I feel even more connected to my community and my peers through my work. I feel like - if just a little - I’m more present in shows and conversations. But most importantly, I think I’m not trying as hard as I used to. I’m trying to let my work speak for itself and live a normal, beef stewy life.

Onwards!

[livinlifecraziloud]

Once Upon a Time Tag

So now I’m all caught up, I thought I’d do this for a bit of fun amidst the hell that is my life right now as I complete the last three weeks of my university degree.

There are spoilers ahead, you have been warned.

Favorite Male Character: Captain Killian Jones aka Hook

Favorite Female Character: Regina, the love of my life

Least Favorite Male Character: Peter Pan, he had absolutely nothing redeemable about him, but also King George

Least Favorite Female Character: Cora

Favorite Villain: Regina is no longer a villain and even the Evil Queen has been redeemed so probably Rumpelstiltskin... or Zelena cause she’s not been fully been converted to good but I did strongly dislike her when she was the proper villain in Season 3 so take that as you will.

Favorite Scene: Ok, my all-time favourite scene is when the Shattered Sight curse is broken and Snow, Charming and Regina are all in the sheriff’s office fighting and then when it is over they all just look at each other and burst out laughing. And also when the Charmings teach Regina to dance in Camelot, and when Robin and Regina are together after the night they spent in her vault.

Favorite ship(s): My faves are Outlaw Queen but I also love Captain Swan and Rumbelle when Rumpel isn’t screwing Belle over and they’re actually just cute and lovely like in the earlier seasons, oh and the Charmings of course.

Favorite Friendship: Emma and Regina, but I also love Charming and Hook

Saddest Moment: 100% saddest moment was when Robin died. Other sad moments were when Regina had to leave Henry to go back to the Enchanted Forrest in the middle of season 3, when Robin had to leave Regina and go to New York with Marion(/Zelena) and when Emma said goodbye to Hook in the Underworld. There are so many more heartbreaking moments but they’re what comes to mind.

Favorite Bad*#% Scene: This is hard. I keep thinking about this week’s episode with Snow and the vikings because she’s got some skill to be able to do anything when drunk let alone throw knives perfectly. But also Bandit Regina in the Heroes and Villains realm.

Favorite Kiss: Regina and Robin’s first kiss when she goes to see him in the forest and the morning after they spent the night in her vault.

Do you want the Evil Queen to get her happy ending?: YES!!! #Justice4Regina I’m hoping she’s there now that she has accepted Robin’s death and she’s learnt to love herself, and she relies on and trusts in her family.

Favorite OMFG Moment: Zelena being Marion and Hook being a Dark One.

Which side are you on? Good or Evil?: Good, but occasionally a little dark magic is necessary.

Favorite Once Upon A Time Outfit: Goodness, this show has the best costumes. I love all of the Evil Queen outfits, and Belle always seems to wearing such nice normal clothes. But also the ballgowns, especially from the ball at Camelot, they were stunning.

Favorite Episode: I’m not very good at remembering and naming episodes but after a quick scan of IMDB these are few of my faves - “Shattered Sight”, “Page 23″, “The Heart of the Truest Believer”, “A Curious Thing”, “Wish You Were Here”, “Sisters”

Favorite Actor: Probably Colin O’Donoghue but I did watch Sean Maguire in Scott and Bailey so I love him too.

Favorite Actress: Lana Parrilla, she’s literally fabulous.

Favorite Quote: There are so many... literally every Regina one-liner. Aside from the classic - “I’m gonna go make some tacos!” I really appreciated when Emma said “my parents, Hook and your sister have been pulled through some kind of portal” and Regina just goes “again!?” It’s basically the premise of the entire show and they’re so done with it!

Favorite Back-story: I really loved the whole backstory to Frozen with Ingrid, Gerda and Helga, it made sense.

Something you want to know that hasn’t been revealed yet: Why did the Black Fairy abandon Rumpel? Who is she and why did she take Gideon? Also, I would like to know how the devil they’re going to work the musical episode into the storyline, I mean I am beyond excited for it but I’m curious to see how it will fit into the narrative. I hope someone curses the town and makes them all sing.

If you could be anyone from Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest who would you be?: I would love to be happy Regina but that only happens rarely, but I’m hopeful that it will be more of a common occurrence from now on, but if not, probably Emma cause she has magic and is engaged to Hook so... Or Elsa, but we don’t know what she’s been doing in her life for the past two years. 

Any prop you would want to take home: The Once Upon a Time story book

Favorite Character Entrance: Even though I didn’t like her at first, probably Zelena, or Elsa blasting through the portal.

Favorite Location/Set: I think Regina’s house is lovely but we haven’t seen it in a while

Favorite Realm: This is tricky... I really liked the flashbacks to them in Camelot but also the Heroes and Villains world where everything was topsy turvy and Regina was the bandit hero.

Storybrooke or Enchanted Forest: Storybrooke

A Character you wanna see more of: Regina, there can always be more Regina. But not one of the main characters... probably Zelena now she’s not properly an outcast anymore and I would love it if the Frozen people came back.

Favorite Fairytale: Beauty and the Beast.

What got you interested in Once Upon a Time: So last October after we had just moved into our new house at uni we decided we needed a house Netflix show to watch in the evenings, we were scrolling through and I read the description of OUAT and saw the line ‘set in a small town in Maine.’ This drew my attention because me and my housemate did our year abroad in Maine last year so I said we should give it a go. I wasn’t fully invested in Season 1 and we sort of drifted out of it but then in February I decided to get back into it and carry on watching it on my own and I haven’t looked back since.