#and im like i CANT it’s like an actual physical block stopping me

[hella1975]

tbf i really deserved to lose that poll im stupid af

[samwisefamgee]

I CAST BLUNT OF TUMMY GET BETTER

yeah I'll just have a nice peaceful weekend watching my friends' cats while they're at a con out of state it'll be a great time! I can finally just relax and not have to worry about all of the differe-

FOOD POISONING FOR FIVE THOUSAND YEARS !!!!!!!

[ashtxeman]

WHY I LIKE GLASS JOE A LOT

I promised a lot of information about why I like Glass Joe so I wrote this in an hour with no plan, no proof reading, completely improvised. If I planned this it would probably be WAY longer lol but I'll spare you all the pain of that. SO. ENJOY MY REASONING.

Glass Joe. Glass Joseph. Fragile Joey. It’s a name that’s been uttered for centuries in many different forms, given many different explanations. Critics, theorists, philosophers alike have carved away at their lives trying to solve the answer to the universe's greatest question. And that is:

Glass Joe, good why?

I can answer that, absolutely.

HEY I LOVE GLASS JOE A LOT IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT ALREADY JUST GOTTA ESTABLISH THAT HAHAHA OKAY LETS GO. SHOUTOUT TO THE FUCKING RTGAME PUNCHOUT VIDEO YOU DID THIS TO ME.

POINT 1: HE IS HANDSOME.

I swear to God this man was hand-crafted by the hands of an incomprehensible deity because HOW is he this flawless. He’s 5’10, great height honestly I’m 5’3 I don’t want to be dating a skyscraper you know. He’s a skinny bastard but that’s okay, more on that later. His hair, oh my goodness gracious, lord above, help me Jesus. HIS HAIR. IS SO GOOD. If you put that skateboard ramp ass hairstyle on literally any other character they would look like a dumbass, but here, on this man alone, it’s the most delicately poised series of ginger strands I ever did see.

His hair looks SO soft. It’s unbelievable. It’s such a lovely shade of auburn with hints of burgundy. It must smell like cinnamon. He must take great care of it. A real Head and Shoulders, coconut oil, double wash kinda guy. A real bougie kinda guy. Yeah he’s not great physically in SPORT terms but in PUBLIC terms he’s absolutely stunning and stronger than anybody else. I wanna run my fingers through his silky locks so bad it’s insane and to understand this desire I’ll have to be strapped down and operated on. DONATE MY BRAIN TO SCIENCE GO AHEAD. THEY NEED IT. 

Not to mention it is SO fun to draw. SO SO SO FUN. Maybe I’m just lucky it’s such a wacky and dynamic hairstyle it transfers quite well into my artstyle, but it’s so fun. It’s easy, it’s fast, it creates an absolutely iconic silhouette, I love colouring it because it’s so damn pretty and ginger/red is such a broad colour scheme that can be put into a gradient so well (i love doing gradients with hair cause i hate when its just a block of colour). Nobody could understand the sheer joy i get putting that dumbass ahoge between the bridge of his fringe and the rest of his hair. That little ‘ right at the top ITS SO FUN. i love him his hair is great.

His face. Carved like the works of the finest artest. He’s a canvas of quality that can rival Van Gogh, for god sake. He’s got the jawline of a man on a lifelong mewing streak, STOP IT HE’S SO GORGEOUS I CANT EVENNNN. He is seriously so good looking. His eyes, the little pink-tinted eyebags that show he doesn’t need sleep because he’s so hardcore on caffeine, his gorgeous big ol nose i wanna kiss so bad, his super dynamic chin i wanna kiss so bad, his face i wanna kiss so bad. I wanna kiss him so bad. He is genuinely such a beautiful man its stunning, im literally a lesbian but if they somehow brought glass joe into the real world looking exactly how he does in those GOD DAMN CUTSCENES OOOOO i’d be bisexual so fast it’s crazy. He’s just that great. He’s got that power. I love his nervous little grin and the little creases on his face, cause he’s OLD AND SENILE. He’s 38 for god sake he shouldn’t look this good and sure, you can see his age slipping in a little with the eyebags and the wrinkles but that only ADDS to how stupidly divine he is in appearance. Stop that handsome man officer!! He’s breaking the laws of BEAUTY. GIVE IT TO MEEEEE. MEEEE.

His fashion sense although odd (ive never actually seen anyone wearing red trousers) just works. It wouldnt work on anyone else but it works on HIM. this is a theme. THINGS DONT WORK ON OTHER PEOPLE BUT THEY WORK ON JOE HE’S SO COOL LIKE THAT. his turtleneck kills me its so good it highlights what little figure he has and it contrasts his red hair so well cause its a really deep blue. SIGH. i wish. I have a turtleneck thats exactly the same but let me tell you i dont even breath the same air of fashion that he breathes. He’s so far ahead of the game he’s on an entirely different runway. He is not gonna sashay away anytime soon. On a constant shante. Unstoppable.

POINT 2: HE EMBODIES HIS CULTURE WELL.

Cats out of the bag, joe is a french stereotype. But. and dont quote me here. I find it very admirable HOW he is a french stereotype. Because he kind of.. Isn’t? He uses the characteristics of that stereotype sure, but he doesn’t engage with them the same way an actual french stereotype would. He likes coffee, he likes bread, he loves France like its his child, sure. But he doesnt have a twirly moustache, he doesnt wear a beret, he doesnt galavant around in black and white mime clothing. Even if that would be funny yknow it just wouldnt be as good. 

His admiration of coffee and bread is so relatable cause hell, I LIKE BREAD AND CAFES AND STUFF! He needs that coffee to keep him going you dont understand. If he misses a dose of caffeine he’ll deflate like the pyramids did in despicable me 1. He’ll be a puddle on the floor, he’ll quite literally cease to exist. Coffee is his golden idol, his hand of midas, his treasure. He has great willpower (more on that later) but coffee is that secret weapon he uses to push him just a little bit further. Plus he just thinks it tastes good and is happy to express that, you cant blame the guy for that. A good drink is a good drink. Even though i dont like coffee he’s so happy with it i respect it. He makes things i dont like respectable. Thats whats so real to me. What a goat. As for bread, bread is just great. Baguettes are yum. All the french bread i know about is usually close to white bread and autism behold thats like the only bread i can bear to eat so its alright with me man. You can go to joes house and he will have one of those fancy bread cupboards. He’ll pull out baguettes like he’s at a renaissance fair and they have a sword shortage. He’s on the case. You will NOT leave his house on an empty stomach. Like a very caring grandma, he will get you fed with the most immaculate 5 star meal you ever did eat. French food is great and theres no doubt about that, thats why he loves FOOD. I TRUST HIM. HE KNOWS WHATS GOOD. if mr glass joe turned around to me and said ‘broken glass is good food’ you bet your ass id be smashing windows and munch munch crunching all day long. 

Maybe his admiration of his country is a little over the top to some. You know the french landmarks in the back of his cutscenes, the ‘vive le france’ and singing the national anthem. But no. i dont think its excessive, i think its passionate. This is undeniably a man that is SO passionate about his culture and the lifestyle he’s grown up around, he’s not afraid to express it to other people until they cant stand it anymore. He’ll take as many hits as he needs to in the name of france. He is an embodiment of everything endearing about being foreign, honestly. An extreme love for the things his country has: food, landmarks, fashion, language, culture. EVERYTHING IS ON HIS LIST. NOTHING IS LEFT OUT. HE LOVES FRANCE AND I LOVE HIM. YES SIR!! VIVE LE FRANCE!! YES!!! 

Also he single-handedly convinced me to start learning french. I seriously didnt care about it before but after i started to like him more and really get into punchout i downloaded duolingo and i still have a streak going AND im actually convinced to try hard in my french lessons and exams because yknow.. I want this fictional french guy to be proud of me. :] 

POINT 3: HE IS DETERMINED.

OHHHHHH BOY. okay right im gonna get inspirational here. Play some dramatic orchestral music or something. 

The thing about Glass Joe is that he never. Gives up. Never. There is nothing in the world you could do to this man that could possibly stop him from boxing. They call Kaiser a fighting machine but boy have they not seen Joe. once that man stepped into the ring for the first time, he’d found a second home, and i think thats evident. 100 times this man has fallen down, brushed it off and gotten right back up. He’s had hardships, ups, downs, tumbles, falls. But everytime, no matter what, he’s back on his feet and ready to try again. And there is something so admirable and inspirational about that kind of approach being written into a CHARACTER THAT IS MEANT TO BE A FRENCH STEREOTYPE. ‘GHHHH FRENCH PEOPLE ALWAYS SURRENDER ACSHUALLY’ SHUT UP!! NOT THIS ONE!! I like to think Joe’s motto is ‘never surrender’. Yes he’s a little self aware how ironic it is thats hes french and doing all this but shhh. He knows whats hes doing and he’s happy to do it. Because like ive said again and again, theres nothing that can stop him. 100 kos, 200 kos, 300, 400… you keep cranking that number up and he’ll keep cranking the punches. Keep those lights up, keep those gloves on, you knock Joe down and eventually, no matter how long it takes, he’s back for more.

Now dont misinterpret that, he’s not a masochist like aran ryan, no sir-ee. He doesnt enjoy losing, nobody does. But the thing is he pushes past that disappointment and those hardships because he knows that eventually, if he keeps on going, things are going to change. He knows that if he lays down the gloves and walks away, there’s no possibility of succeeding. You could drop Joe off on the other side of the world and just like that immortal snail, he’s gonna find a way back. Even if it takes forever. Cause he is weak but determined, he isn’t threatening but relentless, he is stoppable but unstoppable. Glass joe has the strongest will out of any character i know. Cause if any of my other favourites went through 100 whopping losses like he did, they’d retire on a tropical island and never interact with the world again. But not joe. Never joe. My king.

POINT 4: HE IS ENDEARING.

THIS GUY IS SO DAMN CHARMING IT MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE INTO CONFETTI AND GLITTER AGHHHHH.

Come on. How can you look at his smile, his lovely little, subtle smile with those shy old eyes, and not immediately fall in love with him. He’s got some many little subtle things. Like the way his pupils dart around or his little sway back and forth when he’s knocked out or the way he bounds back and forth on his legs like an old-timey guy about to have a squabble. The way his mouth goes :0 so very subtly when he’s breathing. The way he always looks either shocked beyond repair, completely zooted or very confused. It’s all so perfect. IT’S ALL THESE THINGS THEY MAKE HIM BRILLIANT.

Im seriously looking for scraps here but i love finding meaning in otherwise meaningless things. I love analysing every detail until there is literally nothing else i could possibly say about it. He is perfect for this.

His fucking VOICE. OHHH MY GOD. it was so damn funny the very first time i heard his voice, because honestly it feels deliberate how they put his humble cutscenes before his first bit of dialogue so you expect this soft-spoken kinda light-voiced french guy only to be greeted with CHRISTIAN BERNARD’S DEEP ASS VOICE. OHHH KILL ME HE SOUNDS SO HANDSOME I WANNA SINK INTO THE FLOOR AND CRY WITH JOY. i wouldnt even mind if he was a soft-spoken light-voiced french guy but they really had to amp it up a little and give this lowly frenchman the most eloquent unnecessarily deep and silky voice ever. HE DIDNT NEED THAT. BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING HIM THAT NINTENDO CAUSE ITS ONE OF HIS GREATEST QUALITIES. Plus french is just a really fun language to listen to. I could honestly sit listening to joe’s voicelines on repeat for hours on end and be fine with it. They’re so good. He’s so beautiful sounding. Its absolutely hilarious considering his voice in comparison to appearance. COME ON!!! AAHAHHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHAGHGHS I LOVE CHRISTIAN BERNARDS VOICE I WISH I COULD HEAR HIM SPEAK IN ENGLISH. I NEED MORE OF HIS VOICE. AGGGGGHHHHH. 

POINT 5: WHATEVER ELSE

I erm i erm i just wanna say i love joe so much. The way he’s constructed, appearance, personality, physicality, dialogue, culture inspiration, story. EVERYTHING about him is just so cool and fun to think about and in my head it all weaves perfectly together to create the best character in all of fiction. It has now been over 2 unapologetic years of me yapping on about this guy. Whether it be his canon self and the things he does or the fanon version of him thats ive sourced from other peoples awesome HC’s or forged from my own lore. Any excuse i get, i talk about joe. Because it is so utterly fun. Yeah, he’s not the only boxer i love!!! Not at all!! I have several other favourites persay, but on the punch-out tier list joe is so good he has his own category thats about 4 ranks higher than what S rank is. And that is deserved. 

He loves his culture, he never gives up, he’s arguably a weakling and an absolute screwup but he never lets that get in his way because of her persistent he is, he’s gorgeous, he’s cool, he’d be a great friend, dad, boyfriend, husband, EVERYTHING. He’s got a weird hairstyle and weird fashion sense but somehow he looks great with it. He beat NICK BRUISER CANONICALLY?!?! He’s french, he’s ginger, which in a joking sense makes him the worst but against all odds he is the best. The french are lucky to be represented by him because he’s so utterly and unapologetically awesome and cool and fun and nice and inspiring and all that jazz. There is not a single thing that could stray me away from the path of Joe. my lore for him is SO deep. My admiration for him is INFINITE. Ive read through his wiki a pagillion times. Ive beaten him over 80 times in-game simple because i like seeing him so much and.

Well. i have entire shrine dedicated to him. let me know if you wanna see that....

[multidimensional-trashcan]

(particle) physics dashboard simulator

professional-ton follow reblogged 🔄 particl...

➕ professional-ton follow

big L when the top doesn't even last long enough to couple with a bottom

🪦 massivest-quark-deactivated51025

SCATTER YOU AND YOUR DECAYONISM!!! I HOPE YOU'LL NEVER FIND A STABLE NUCLEUS AND MAY THE β-DECAY GET YOU!

➕ professional-ton follow

'never start an argument you know you'll never be able to finish in your lifetime'

- Albert Einstein

#the comment section is full of these freaks #looks like a graveyard in there #at least there's no need for blocking with these types

(22,045 notes)

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

pussy so good you tunnel right through that coulomb potential

(43 notes)

giga-chad-particle follow reblogged 🔄 neutr...

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

for someone that can be stopped by a sheet of paper alpha particles are surprisingly full of themsleves

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

at least im not some fucking WIMP

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

you do realize that WIMP stands for Weakly Interacting Massive Particle? there isn't even proof they exist. And while im not very massive at all you are a massive buffoon

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

yuor still fucking WEAK

(578 notes)

📶 scatter-couple-kill follow

They're the cryptids of the particle world and you loved them so much we're bringing them back in a new format! So let's radiate...

#poll #who'd you rather scatter on #scatter couple kill #we'll be back to our usual bullshit soon

(9,084 notes)

physics-strongest-soldier follow reblogged 🔄 e...

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

i'm sick of this gluonormativity! electromagnetic, weak and gravitational interaction are just as important as strong interaction!!!

⚛️ atomatic-jesus follow

you are right and you should say it

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

colour me impressed! an electron all on it's own, how cute... but now go back to your sugardaddy @atomatic-jesus before you hurt yourself okay?

also, gravitational interaction? really? this would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic.

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

gravitational interaction holds whole galaxies with planets and stars together! maybe you should inform yourself before you go around annoying people

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

omp you're one of those freaks. i cant believe theres still particles out there that believe in something bigger than us. bet you also believe that we all can work together to form some sort of "organism".

honey, you're view of reality is so cracked, maybe you should put some gluon

#thought i had all of those freaks blocked #but im kinda proud of that pun ngl #freaks dni

(129,506 notes)

❌ contron follow

so if proton = pro + ton and neutron = neutral + ton shouldn't the electron actually be called contron?

#polarising ideas by me #contron #electron #proton #neutron

(3 notes)

🌈 wollaston1802 follow

hello 👋 im a bound electron ⚡ looking for a radiant photon ☄️ to excite me 🤭. i prefer a length 📏 of 656.278 nm ♥️, 486.132 nm 🩵 or 434.045 nm 💙 (some of you in the violets and ultraviolets may also do it but please no less than 364.56 nm, last time my sugar daddy got ionized they almost didn't take me back). you can find me in the L-shell 🐚 of the 5,000,000,205th H-atom ⚛️ to your left.

#balmer series #very excitable #find me 😘

(113 notes)

⬇️ a-real-downer follow

some of you really need to reconsider your word choices. using 'positive' to describe good things and 'negative' to describe bad things is sooo plum pudding model times. as someone with negative charge of -1/3e myself i refuse to accept such every-day discrimination manifested in our speech pattern

#actually negative #down quark #negatively charged particles unite!

(73 notes)

photon-with-more-than-211-mev follow reblogged...

🪦 special-relativity-my-love-deactivated2024

thank physics that there are no anti-muons in my vicinity im not ready to meet my antiparticle yet

🪦ordinary-nonrelativity-my-hate-deactivated2024

hi :)

〰️ photon-with-more-than-211-mev (new) follow

*waves at you*

#gotta love pair annihilation

(1.6 Mio notes)

🌀 double-u-double-fun follow

🎶i'm a WEAK interaction FREAK🎶

#this song just rules #everybody should listen to it #bosonic vibrations #check them out #they're great

[notesfrompanihida]

list of things in my life in chronological order that left permanent scarring in my character:

father (ongoing) - physical, psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse. neglect

pascal - groomed me into a sexual relationship when i was 15 and he was 21

ex of a year and a half - extremely toxic turbulent relationship at the height of my bpd becoming apparent. defined how i perceive myself and others

^ ex dumps me a day after my cat of 8 years dies and does it in the worst cruelest way possible - made me enter a state of psychosis for several months after. permanently altered my mind and attachment style

***, pseudo friendship of almost a year - *** was the first person who i felt genuine love for after becoming numb to any emotion as a result of the breakup. cluster b + cluster b did not cancel out and made the relationship extremely upsetting and triggering. i felt like i was constantly fighting for his attention and only got it from him when i was ignoring his messages. i stopped texting him for a month because i gave up. he blocked me everywhere

***** (ongoing) - abuser (me) x victim (him). horrible relationship. he doesnt understand me i dont understand him. he refuses to leave despite the aggressive pushing from me

caydence - sexually assaulted me

jacob - used me while lying to my face that he loves me and will be by my side despite my disorders. abandoned me after my disorders flared up

how it affected me:

doesnt trust anybody

extremely hostile aggressive and violent if feeling threatened

not hypersexual but always trying to be sexually appealing so i can give people a reason to stay if they bite the bait

overcompensating with buying others gifts, doing action services (i forgot the term), pretending to give a shit way more than i actually do just so they dont see who i actually am and leave

love isnt real

unshakeable beliefs about being worthless, unlovable, and disgusting. i believe everyone is out to get me. i believe NOBODY actually means their love and care because someone like me cannot be genuinely loved and cared about

constantly putting up an act in front of others and micromanaging every single thing i do down to little body movements

self esteem doesnt exist. i hate myself and want myself dead more than anyone else

severe jealousy issues that consistently ruin my day

i cant establish boundaries

i get my consent constantly violated because i cant say no. i would rather suffer than tell someone to stop because their pleasure is more important than my urge to kill myself

puts everyone and everything above myself

constant health issues physical and mental, im in and out of hospitals

severe depression that affects my life and makes me attempt at least once a month + frequent $h

god doesnt love me

always tells others what they want to hear so i can keep them in my life. means 10-20% of it

obsessive, possessive (internally)

theres more but i think it stems from when i was born and not because im traumatized

idk what possessed me to write this maybe someone will see this and relate. alisa play life eternal by ghost

[alisria]

if i have to see that fucking post about how "actually it's impossible to lose weight and you should never be recommended weight loss for your health and you can never ever keep weight off and if you diet you will Starve To Death" one more time i am going to actually commit an act of violence (after seeing it for the sixth fucking time and getting mad about it AGAIN i have finally blocked op instead of just continuing to unfollow whoever put it on my dash)

i put my rant under a readmore because i was writing it in tags and it got too long if anyone tries to fucking debate me about any of this you are getting blocked i seriously do not give a fuck this is a VENT POST because im EXTREMELY ANGRY

i understand that this sentiment can be valuable for people with restrictive eating disorders. you are allowed to eat and nourish your body and not feel guilty. but saying that "oh your knees wont hurt as much and your LDL/A1C will improve but thats it it's otherwise Very Unhealthy" is grossly negligent

ldl? you mean cholesterol? a1c? you mean blood sugar levels? you mean by eating in a way that nourishes your body but not in significant excess will help prevent heart disease and type 2 diabetes? which are lifelong medical conditions that can be expensive to live with in countries with no socialized health care?

how about instead of lying and saying that Losing Weight Is Bad we talk about eating varieties of nutrient-dense foods. we talk about adding in foods that are good for our bodies and slowly reducing the amount of foods that are genetically engineered to make you crave more and more and are sold by companies that do not give a shit about your health

like. eating 1500 calories a day is not a starvation diet for anyone under 5 foot 4. it is for taller people. because who would have thought people with larger frames need more energy to make their bodies work. because there is more of them to move around.

weight loss AND weight gain are morally neutral!! stop acting like One of them is good and one of them is evil!!! i understand that not every post is about me but like fuck!! seriously!!! this is the Misinformation Website!!! "this is all googleable" okay but you are also using extremely biased language. you are telling people to google 'starvation diet'. of course they will find information about people LITERALLY STARVING. 'i am a doctor just trust me bro' my doctor is the same with the body positive shit i had to CONVINCE her that losing weight would be worthwhile for me for a multitude of reasons. she finally fucking agreed with me after i said "listen. i felt so much better emotionally, physically, and mentally at [X] lbs. i could tie my own shoelaces without sitting down. i could run a mile without collapsing. using the fucking restroom is easier. i wasn't getting fucking TRAPPED on the floor. and now i weigh [Y] lbs and cant put on my own socks and i am fucking crippled and walk with a cane. i am MISERABLE. and i am STILL MISERABLE after finally being on medication that helps with my brain because i am in EXCRUCIATING PAIN every waking moment, and it even fucking wakes me up at night. i cant sleep. i cant do *anything*." and she finally had to say "yeah okay maybe it would help to lose some weight" LIKE I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU TO BE OKAY WITH ME DOING SOMETHING THAT IS GOOD FOR ME.

this shit makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY. i have seen a dietician, who has graduated me from seeing her. i do not have an eating disorder. but these fucking posts that are just LYING are actively triggering!!!

for the love of god there are communities of people out there who have lost a significant amount of weight, have kept it off, and are EXTREMELY supportive for people who want that for themselves! people who choose to stick around once theyre in "maintenance" (staying at a weight that is healthy for them) because they want to help people improve their lives! acting like NO ONE keeps the weight off is just wrong!!

some of us have fucked up hunger cues!! some of us have adapted overeating as an unhealthy coping mechanism!! as a form of self-harm!! and these things deserve to be faced with kindness and understanding, not "You Will Fail, You Will Fail, You Must Stay Fat"

being fat is morally neutral!! being thin is morally neutral!! you are not a bad person for wanting to gain weight! you are not a bad person for wanting to lose weight! you are not a bad person for wanting to stay the same weight! you are not a bad person for not even being concerned about your weight! but by fucking god you are allowed to feel happy and comfortable with your body in whatever shape it is, and if you know you would be happier in a different shape, you are allowed to work for that!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[badnew2005]

can u explain what clip show/chokes says about dennis’ whole running away/facing reality/holding tight behavior?

oooh this is my fav topic i feel like i’m talking ab the same point over and over again BUT IM NOT GOING TO STOP !!!! i’m assuming this is the post ur referencing and i’m gonna keep using these parameters etc. this is definitely not the best ive ever talked ab this but !! its whats happening rn !!!

there’s a bit at the very end of clip show that has always felt absolutely dripping in desperation from dennis it’s right after their phones all finish updating the “thank god we’re back to normal” but everyone ignores him while he waits for a beat too long trying to laugh and smile ab it all like. it’s always read to me as the “normal” dennis wants is their past their youth, specifically before mac came out and before he left. dennis’ fight or flight has been acting up and influencing the gang for so long but it really is specifically tied to mac coming out, mac being recognised as gay by the gang and the fear they’ll recognise him too you know he’s been fighting, pushing back, causing tension and arguments and declaring his hatred etc etc. dennis is very very desperate to be back in charge of the direction of the gang and their mentalities etc, hes desperate to keep living in the past!!!!!

and chokes is another favourite example of this miscommunication and contradiction like ALLLLLL dennis wants is to go back to "normal" to before mac came out. mac being able to see through him and know him in a way dennis thought he had blocked was terrifying and caused him to physically leave like the fear of mac being able to see through his facade theres a LOT of things hes keeping hidden he cant let mac know like. but then he came back. and part of wanting everything back to normal is that unspoken connection and communication with mac - hes getting frustrated and angry at mac for not being able to read him and understand him anymore, that they cant just pick up exactly where they left - that they cant pick up from a few years ago and pretend nothings happened nothings changed. like dennis can’t communicate !!!!!! he wants mac to know him he wants everything to go back to how it Was before north dakota but. north dakota didn’t just happen to dennis. it happened to Mac Too. don’t forget that. macs seen dennis push back because he got too close so macs only following blatant orders he doesn’t want to get too close again and for dennis to leave. again. its dennis not being able to face reality to face the actual situation he himself put them in by leaving, emotionally and physically, and then crawling back. ive been saying soooo much hes only just emotionally returned from north dakota i think s13-15 we see him still stuck in fight or flight (as he has been for many seasons before this too) but in the process of crawling back home - emotionally. tail between his legs!

hes holding on tight to this sense of control to his fanatsies and memories and refusing to acknowledge reality which you see him do countless times over and over in different situations but like the end of clip show was SINISTER with the “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. clip show reinforcing again and again dennis is the most skilled at / aware of having fantasies replace real life memories and experiences. he can change his perception of life to suit him, but is painfully aware its not reality for the first time. highshchool and the golden god one of my fav / the easiest examples of this like just hes always been running away from the truth from reality from some version of himself that he cant look in the mirror. also i legally have to mention roller rink its ooc because its like clip show its their memories theyre telling a story like remember when i was nice and cool yeah i do because it hurts less and they love eachother. clip show dennis takes control of the narrative of the story of the mission to get back into "reality" BUT thought he could pull one over do macden live together. hes a scared little baby running away! SAD! alsoooooooo like how the spinning top doesnt fall and we see the second charlie poke his head like !!!!!! THEYR (DENNIS IS ) STILL STUCK in dennis' fantasy of life aka where theyre all back to normal. i feel like i havent said enough ab holding tight its listerally just clinging into the past onto these idealised versions clinging onto mac and their relationship like not letting him move on you know.

yeah okay again this is def not my best explination of it but thats generally what i was getting to in that paragraph mentioning clip show and chokes :) its all dennis' relationship w the truth and reality and how he's always used it as a crutch trying to be someone else aka running away from himself from the gang from his real actual life. playing pretend as the person he thinks he should be. but then coming home and not being able to communicate ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG because he cant even admit it to himself so they just get stuck in these cycles.

[theres-bugs-in-my-brain]

Dude

I’m so fucking close

In like two months I’ll be done

I’ll be out of this fucking hell hole of a high school

And I hope I can get out of this house

I want to leave and never look back

But god

Oh god dude I wish

I wish my entire high school experience wasn’t wasted on this fucking cult

Growing up in the Mormon church as been living hell

I missed out on so much just having to survive

I still remember shit of having to constantly be afraid of my own well being because I didn’t know if my family was safe, the people at church where safe, if my own friends where safe

Dude my parents OH MY FUCKING GOD dude they home schooled me for middle school then signed me up for a fucking Mormon private school taking their online course

I was so fucking isolated from anyone outside the fucking church

It was wake up, go to seminary at 5 FUCKING 30 AM, than listen to your classes talking about Jesus and how you can find him in every subject there is, after that go to a church activity, still have some time? How about we invite the MISSIONARIES over for a small FUCKING DINNER PARTY.

THIS WAS MY LIFE FOR YEARS

Im an atheist

I’m gay

I’m trans

I’m half Mexican

The treatment I’ve mostly gotten has been micro aggressions at best and physical/sexual assault at worst

I will never know what it’s like to just be a normal kid because of the people that preach they want “kids to just be kids” 

IF YOU FUCKING WANTED THAT THEN YOU COULDVE JUST LEFT ME ALONE

It’s so fucking shitty

Ever since I was outed at the age of 12 or 11 it’s been hell

At first I was fine because I still had my best friend that supported me

It was funny even

You’d be minding your business, then someone would try to talk you out of being gay, try to argue why it’s wrong, get mad at you for being gay. You’d fight back

Laugh at them with ur friends. Poke the bear with a stick

Then the tide would shift

Suddenly they didn’t try to pray the gay away, they weren’t trying to argue you out of it

Now they saw you as a threat

A threat to their friends’ sexuality, a threat to their kids’ sexuality, a threat to their own sexuality.

They where more aggressive

Often yelling at out, picking on you, singling you out, even threats that they love to call jokes

But that’s okay,

You’ll hold your head high

Stand your ground

you won’t swallow your pride

so you’ll fight with your words

And if they decided they didn’t want to play with words

Then you’d fight with every tooth and nail you have

You’d be very really win a fight

Like ever

They usually get broken up by adults or they’d get the upper hand and stop when they’re bored

A rare occurrence actually having to fight

But it changes you

Before you where creepy

Now you try to be off putting, to appear as batshit crazy as you can

But it’s okay because when it gets too much you go to your friends

Then

The tide shifts again

Your friends are closer to other friends than before

They stop hanging out

Then the excuses come

“My dad thinks you might be making me gay. Sorry. Yeah I’m going to have to block you.”

“My mom said if your mom weren’t friends with her, that she wouldn’t let me hang out with you, can we maybe stop hugging?”

“Being gay is one thing, but being trans is a bit much. You’ve always been a girl and i can’t see you any other way.”

“Are you just trying to be a guy so girls can like you more? That’s really creepy.”

And the worst of all you best friend

“I just think marriage should stay between a man and a woman.”

“But you said that you’d support gay marriage despite what your parents say. Your aunt is gay, and you’re a witch.”

“changed my mind.”

Now it’s harder to hold your head high

To stand your ground

You start to retreat

You cant appear normal for the life of you

But now you laugh at their jokes

You play along with them

Make yourself small

You’ll expire soon

It doesn’t matter

You promised

You took away life now it’s your turn

But you can never actually mange to do it

Then your friend finds out

He makes you stay

You decided to brake that promise but now it’s too late

Now your sister knows

You make another promise

Before you know it there’s too many promises to brake

They watch you like a hawk

Make sure you get better

But it doesn’t erase the fact that they pushed to here

You’re at this point because of them

And now it’s less than three months from graduation

You’ll never have a real high school experience

You’ll never be able to be a real teenager

You’ll never be able to be a real teen boy

What are you going to do about it

You graduate in less than three months

Can you make it to crawl out of this hell hole?

Or will you lay there in the grime you’re so well acquainted with?

[shotgunbambi]

things to do to

gross:

make the whore drink a glass of your spit make it do video tasting reviews of your spit refrigerated/microwaved/after youve eaten different things/mixed in weird stuff

make it do flavor reviews of the soles of your shoes, the floor, cigarette butts it finds outside make it vomit into cups and drink it make it lick your spit off the ground feed it spit/vomit with a spoon

make it vomit, like a reasonable volume w solids, on the floor/ sidewalk/etc and then clean it up by eating it/licking it up, all of it

spit on its food

make it eat something very small and then require it purge and recycle for a stupidly long amount of time. it should be crying in pain.

completely restrain in, tape the medical gag in, force feed it disgusting things

if you bleed again at any point, it needs to drink as much as possible. i was disappointed with it for stopping. it is a human shaped diva cup and it needs to accept that

use your feet to throatfuck it until it vomits over and over. make it gag itself on your foot if you get tired or bored. none of them need or deserve love or care. they will only learn from abuse, its just how it is.

degrade it in small ways but consistently (spitting on it, on its food, making it fetch things for you especially for no reason, it gets off on having its life wasted)

it wants you to make it drink your vomit

it wants to be forced.

it wants you to validate its subhumanity.

piss:

only allow it to piss if it does it in front of you. it probably physically wont be able at first. make

it should not drink anything without your piss. it should always have a little bit mixed in so it knows its place

make it hold for a while and then put it in the shower fully dressed and punch it in the stomach/womb until it pisses itself

personally i think you might be able to get it to piss itself just by yelling at it

make it dip up and then you piss in its diaper or into a container and then pour it in. dont let it change until youre bored

tell it who to be. ignore the others.

angel really does not want the younger ones to get hurt so you can get him to take stuff he otherwise wouldnt by threatening them

house stuff:

outside lock on its door only you have the key to

restraint points in various places

camera/baby monitor in its room- increase anxiety, make it feel trapped, monitor it if needed, jumpscare it (two way speaker monitor?)

parental controls on its devices to block apps to encourage it to do other things, or block everything other than a few porn sites

require it to listen to degradation porn with its airpods for excessive amounts of time, in public, etc.

remote vibe? unsure

ways you logistically have power over it:

it loves you and would do almost anything based on that. 'id love you more/maybe id love you if you [horrible task etc]' if it refuses something you want 'i thought you loved me/if you actually loved me'

it cant drive or walk much you can make it do a lot based on that alone

it will probably agree to most things if it was threatened with abandonment

you could have it involuntarily hospitalized im pretty sure i can write a feasible plan. anytime it bugs you threaten to slash its arms and leave it at the ER. you could make sure its noticeably high beforehand for added trauma. dph probably

put it deep into subspace then get it to agree to things it wouldnt otherwise

if youre out with it and it acts up, threaten to leave it there

arbitrarily make it suck your dick but like, in a pretty vanilla way so it feels weird, or refuse to help it survive (groceries, meds etc)

[trans-earthworm]

I mean, needle fears are a completely different situation from disqualifying conditions. I am literally not allowed to give blood, nor are many of my friends and partners. It doesn't matter how much stress it is to book because they will not let us donate. Ever. That's not something I can do anything about, and it's frankly deeply frustrating. Every time this topic comes up I get lectured about how important it is and how there's a shortage and how I need to just get over whatever's stopping me, when what's stopping me and people like me is the fucking blood services' requirements.

fascinating that the opinion "if you can give blood, you should" is consistently met with different explanations about why you cant donate blood. okay. i believe you. im not going to ask you prove that to me in tumblr.lawcourt. you cant donate blood. some people cant donate blood for neutral reasons and for bad reasons. thats a different conversation. because, if you'll read the original opinion again you may notice that, this opinion comes with the qualifier "if you can give blood". you cant give blood. this isnt about you. if you believe that the reasons you cant give blood are wrong (many such cases), write your local blood center or appropriate representative. since you'd like to have an entirely different conversation than "if you can give blood, you should":

you are making the case that one should not advocate for people (who are able) to do a good thing because some people are not able to do that thing. if you actually give a shit about being wrongly excluded from giving blood, youre going to get a lot further working with the people who harp on about donating than getting pissy because believe it or not, the people who harp on about donating want more people to donate. we want it to be more accessible. we would also like for you not to be excluded for bad reasons.

you can have whatever feelings you like but im going to keep advocating for people WHO ARE ABLE TO to donate blood and learn cpr and practice the fire route in their building at least once and keep a geographically relevant disater kit and other mundane shit that will hopefully never be too significant but could be the difference between living and dying for you and others in a crisis. and i cant even say i have all of that because im in my early 20s and im broke and just a little burnt out but i still try where i can. probably only a firefighter has that actual whole list down. but especially with blood, it does a lot a good with or without a crisis and its the easiest one 🚨(for people who are able to donate)🚨.

i hate that so many people are wrongly excluded but if my tumblr post is enough to get one person who is able to donate to make one appointment, thats a win because that pint does some good. if it gets someone who cant donate unjustly to do something to organize to fix that, even better because thats a step towards even more pints.

if you disagree with any of this block me but youre going to hear people advocating for blood donations for the rest of your life because blood donations are an essential part of modern science and medicine. if you cant donate, nothing they say applies.

tldr: if you can donate blood, you should. if you cant for whatever reason - legal, personal, geographical, medical, physical, psychological, fucking time managememt, right or wrong - that sentence does not apply to you. this isnt about you. stfu.

[chenyuvale]

violence 1-25

the character everyone gets wrong

-diluc

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

-[redacted] cant top bc 1) he doesnt have the self confidence for such and 2) He Is Not Straight in anyway shape or form so even if he is with a woman That Woman is Topping Him.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

-it wasnt on tumblr but i saw this zhongchi take where it was a mini comic of them, on a bench, childe doing the adhd leg bounce as one does and the second panel was zhongli forcibly stopping childe's leg from bouncing (one zhonglis the lord of geo so even if childe wanted or NEEDED to keep his leg bouncing itd be near impossible that cannot be a fun sensation and two Literally dont do that. Dont do that.) the third panel was childe looking at zhongli with hearts surrounding and all the comments were like "me and who 🥺" and good GOD. PEOPLE.....

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

actually they blocked me first bc i commented smth along the lines of 'stop worshipping mental illness....' ive yet to block myself on tumblr at least

worst discord server and why

[answer is found in another ask]

which ship fans are the most annoying?

.. short answer: all the Popular ones

long answer: zhongchi, kavetham, neuvithesley, kaeluc, thomato, chiluc and chaeya are also up there goddamn,,, andddddd most lumi ships too tbh,,

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

-i actually dunno, kujou sara maybe??? shrug, all the characters i hate are bc of my personal takes of canon

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

-diluc, thats it.

worst part of canon

-end user license agreement

worst part of fanon

-almost everything i hate it here

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

-at least ten but most likely more

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

-baizhu. WHY DID KAVEH THE FOUR STAR ON HIS RELEASE GET MOREEEEEEEEEE ATTENTION AND LOVE THEN THE GUY WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE FUCKING LAUNCH I AM SALTY.

worst blorboficiation

-,,diluc

that one thing you see in fics all the time

-baizhu being there in the Having a Baby fics

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

-cishet takes on baizhu + diluc im sick of them

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

-neuvithesley bc ... they have No romantic chemistry at ALL worse than zhongchi and also neuvi is. like so much older than him and yall treat this like you would as if they were the same age and like i get the appeal for ships like that dont get me wrong i liked venkae for a time being BUT treating it the same as if they are both human and both mortals where as one is not is just Wrong. also neuvi sent wrio to prison! neuvi has personally Known Wrio since he was a kid and neuvis always been and always will be This "Age" (in a physical sense) ALSO SIGEWINNE ISNT. THIER DAUGHTER....

there should be more of this type of fic/art

more baizhluc pls... im starving

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

baizhu,,,,, and his shippability with literally anyone who isnt zhongli,,,

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

wrioney sdjhgsd i guess

part of canon you found tedious or boring

most of the quests

part of canon you think is overhyped

abyss its too focused on and sure i get focused on it too but like,, theres more to the game,,, care more about hte story and characters orz

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

the way he says these specific lines

diluc is a smug ass sly ass motherfucker

ship you've unwillingly come around to

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

kaeluc! :3 <- guy who believes the two of them are exes. you can imagine how that goes for me

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"The rewards are too little" bitch stfu we arent here to get spoiled and you know that

[bishiglomper]

I stopped to eat dinner but then i went back to work on my room. I actually got to work on some of the clutter thats been there for years 😭 and i put my books out.

I think I'm still missing a box or two but fuck it

I hurt so muuuuuch

I don't wanna stop though. Because mentally I'm on a roll and physically, when i stop, is when i ache the most. 😬

I layed down for a minute and damn, the vertigo is hittin hard.

Theres a few projects i can leave, like my jewelry is a mess and needs to be organized. And i still have like 3 bags of clothes i need to put away.

Dont even ask me how many i have to wash 👀💦

Im hoping when i can get my ass back up i can finally conquer the hallway and litterboxes. Theres clothes and shit blocking my way. Not even my clothes, but i cant take care of my shit until that step. 😒 i think I'll get the clothes from the bathroom too..

Wish me luck, I tryin' real hard. D:

[technowoah]

DATING HEADCANONs (Young and Dumb and In Love)

Spidey Version

An// this is a new thing for me! I've never written for Marvel characters before, but I love Marvel so imma start writing for them 🥰 but Im still gonna write for the dsmp ofc!

Also idk which spidey to write for so just assume its either of the three ig 😭 hopefully this is okay

Beginning of the relationship

He was quite shy in the beginning. He didn't want to reveal too much about himself to you because some people knew about Spiderman but he didn't want to tell you first meeting of course.

He wants to keep Peter Parker and Spiderman seperate Identities. So he couldn't give you all of him, so he decided to give you Peter Parker. The dorky, smart, (some may even call him a cornball) charismatic boy from Queens

He takes you out on cute dates during the day. Like going to the bookstore, riding the subway to random places and getting things to eat, hanging out in his bedroom, biking in the park, normal dates but they were endearing nonetheless. And he managed to always get you flowers until you told him to stop because it was too much.

He was good at hiding Spiderman until he saved you one day from some attack (he deals with bad guys all the time he cant even remember) and he called out your name.

"Y/n! Are you okay?!"

"How do you know my name?"

"Shit"

After that you told him about the time Spiderman said your name and he played it off. It wasnt smooth but you didnt think anything of it.

Sorry im making this a scenario, but he tries to keep you out of his Spiderman life as much as possible. But he feels guilty not telling you about Spiderman. He hates it but its to keep you safe.

One day he'll tell you and you immediately accept that he is Spiderman. It all clicks for you as well. Why he was late and out of breath to some dates. How he sounded like he was flying when you two were on the phone. And he he had to ditch sometimes. There was an explosion down the block from where you two were having a date and he said "I gotta go" and left you alone.

He's actually surpised that you still accept him and still love him even after all the times he ditched you and kept this big of a secret from you.

After admitting he is Spidey everything goes back to normal really. Nothing out of pocket except dates get more interesting and he becomes more confident around you and with you. He is more comfortable too he knows you wont leave him because of Spiderman, but he wont blame you if you did.

Okay heres some actual dating headcanons below

Hes so kind maybe too kind. He'll bend over backwards for you and his friends. If you need something done, he's already done it, if you need to get food, he already got some pizza and is swinging to your house now.

He loves swinging you around town. If you dont like it then he'll just web up a hammock and you two could relax outside of his apartment. Quality time is his love language. He could be walking hand in hand through time square with you and he'll be in heaven.

He is kinda weary on physical touch. He'll need to get use to it. Then it'll be thigh touches, cheek kisses, kisses, hugs (he loves just wrapping his arms around you and keeping you close) hugs are always a must. Hello and goodbye kisses are needed and everytime he goes out for spiderman he'll give you a kiss no matter what. Okay so Quality time and physical touch.

Just laying in bed talking about your day, in the afternoon, your day barely ended you two just want to have an excuse to spend time together. Sometimes you both stare at eachother just taking in eachothers appearance. People find it weird, you guys do too, but it just happens. You guys start talking about something then you guys are just staring at eachother like lovesick idots.

Peter will tell you anything, he trusts you so much that he spends nights on the phone talking to you, about Spiderman, about his fears, his hopes and dreams. He encourages you to do the same with him, he kept the secret of Spiderman for so long he, can keep your secrets and he dare not tells anyone.

Peter is a romantic guy. He will take you out to a fancy date and go dancing afterwards. Dancing where? In his apartment using the speaker he recently brought. Its small but really thoughtful and that makes your heart flutter.

"Isn't this romantic?"

"Dancing in the middle of your living room?" You leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Of course it is."

You met Aunt May and it was wonderful. Peter would say it was the best moment of his life.

You also met his friends. It wasn't as akward as he thought it was going to be but he is grateful that you accepted his friends and they accepted you.

He is really overjoyed that you are apart of his life now. No matter how long you teo stay together you will leave such a impression on his life.

Btw he's already planning a wedding. You caught him looking at venues one day when you two were lounging around in bed. He wants you to pick out your outfit so you guys can get married as quickly as possible. He also picked out a honeymoon spot as well.

If he could swing you around the world he would.

"I can show you the world!"

"Peter this is Coney Island..."

Walking hand in hand is a must. Pda is accepted in all forms. Arm around the waist, shoulder, hand in hand. You guys are that annoying cute couple everyone wished they would be like, but hates how cute they are.

You guys dont fight often cause there isn't that much to fight about. You're concerned about his safety of course, but when he shows up at your window slightly brusied and in need of cuddles you know he'll always find his way back home to you.

get it back home....okay

But he sincerely cares about your safety. Now you have a target on your back because you're with Spiderman. So he tries to be Peter Parker around you instead of Spidey, but he cant help swinging around following you just so he knows you got home safely or you didnt miss your train.

If a bad guy tries to come near you, you bet your ass that Peter is already on it. He's got a plan for everything and where to lead the guy in relation to where you are. If you're at home, he leads him down the block away from your house. If you're at the park, he's gonna take care of them right then and there, If you're in the subway, he's gonna figure out a plan on the fly.

Sometimes he'll get playfully offended when you sing those breakup songs infront of him. Peter got "offended" when you played I Hate U by SZA.

"Do you actually think that way about me y/n?"

"Pete its just a song of course I dont think that."

"Then why is it in your playlist?"

"Its catchy!"

"We're breaking up."

I wanted to write for all 3 Peters but he mentioned that he worked with the Avengers and you always mention meeting the Avengers. Peter wouldn't want to bring you that deep into his superhero life so he'll just take seperate selfies with the Avengers then send them to you.

You two are both goofballs when you two are together. You two can be dancing like no one is watching, acting like you both are 4 years younger. Love makes you feel youthful. On a home date night it consists of trying to make dinner, singing to the radio, making out on his couch, playing video/board games, making out in the kitchen, dinner being an absolute failure and then ordering takeout.

Peter made sure he knows most of your habbits, like whats your favorite snack, favorite tv show, favorite movie, what gets you excited, what makes you happy, sad, annyoed, there has to be some sort of spidey thing for memory because he remembers everything. This goes along with Peter trying to be the "perfect boyfriend". He told you this one pillowtalk night that he wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for you and you reassured him multiple times that he is perfect the way he is. There is no such thing as a perfect couple. To Peter you are perfect for him though.

Peter loves cuddling you and I feel like I haven't elaborated on that. He thrives off of physical touch. He loves laying his head on your lap and vice versa. Play with his hair and he'll melt. He loves massages and he really needs them this boy is tense. Laying ontop of eachother while exchanging kisses, back rubs and just falling asleep on eachother as well.

Also Peter just does your school work for you sometimes. He usually helps you, but he'll just take your papers or computer and do both yours and his homework just because. You're very capable of doing it yourself...sometimes.. but he's just being helpful and lifting some weight off of your shoulders.

One day you caught him working out to Doja Cat and you never let him live it down. Pete says he just likes the beat of the music, but you both know that isnt true.

You end up healing his wounds 80% of the time you two are together. Its either when he wants you to patch him up or you find out that hes hiding bruises and scratches from you and you end up having to force him to sit down and let you work on him. He feels somewhat guilty that you have to preform first aid on him, but then again he is grateful that you are willing to do so.

You're with Peter alot so you know when he struggles. Being Spiderman has to be alot on your mental health and through thick and thin you are always there for him. He never thought that something as strong as this love you have for him would be present in his life and he is forever grateful to the universe that it gave you to him.

Peter always has a shoulder to rely on when with you. He knows he still has some growing to do and he knows that you'll be there to grow with him. He compares you two as two roses growing in a garden and developing their thorns so that the outside forces that are against them could never touch them and diminish their beauty.

You both grow together and its never one over the other. Another's priorities are neither more or less than the others. You both take eachother very seriously. You both would do anything for eachother mentally, or physically. The love you two have is blinding and you both hope the light doesn't go out so soon.

[hornyvirgin69]

Your Guilty Pleasure

Yelena x F! Reader

Minors do not interact.‼️ if ur age isnt in your bio u will be blocked.

a/n: hiii, so this was like my 1st ever fic that i actually wrote (i have more fics but they are on wattpad) sooo please dont get ur hopes too high on this😁😁 bc i also didnt proofread this and... ive read alot of fanfics in this app and some are just too good and i know you guys here have very High expectations but so do iiii haha but yea, soo this fic is not gonna be as good as the ones u see on here but enjoy this so called drabble!! Thanks!

Liking/commenting/reblogging would be deeply appreciated!<3

Warnings: finger fucking!Gun play!swearing! I cant remember the rest im sorry, but if i missed anything pls make me aware, thank you!!

(Divider is from this)

You were assigned to clean the cafeteria by captain levi. It was around 9 in the evening and you were loading all the dishes, keep in mind you're the only one there. You were thinking about when all this chaos would be over, knowing that eren was now locked up after the incident that happened in marley. He's changed a lot, he looks a lot stronger but only physically, you can see in his eyes that he was hurting and that he was tired.

You and eren had a thing before when the both of you were around 17 or 16? but that was only because he had to use you. he told you he loved you but you knew deep down that he loved mikasa.

You've accepted it a long time ago, so it didn't hurt a lot. Besides, you've moved on already.

Sure.

Wiping your hands with a white cloth, you were about to go grab the mop until you heard the door open. Captain? I thought he was in a meeting? Ignoring it, you grabbed the mop and went to the small restroom in the corner to grab a sachet of detergent and soak the mop with water. You bent down to turn the faucet on until you felt someone grip your hips and pull you out of the room, making you yelp.

The person was really tall compared to your 5'1 height. (In this story your small🧍🏻‍♀️)

You were about to scream at the person and ask what the hell was wrong with them, instead you felt a gun at the back of your neck, you tried to turn your head to the side to at least get a glimpse of who the person was. When you did, you heard the gun click and immediately turned your head back where it was, fist clenching and your eyes shut.

"stop squirming, I won't hurt you." the familiar persons voice whispered, making you're heart skip a beat.

Yelena?

It was, indeed yelena. "yelena, let me go. Why the fuck are you doing this!?" Your voice almost cracked and you tried not to sound frightened and hiding the fact that you were scared shitless.

"Are you that clueless?" She scoffed.

"W—what?" You said through gritted teeth. Holding on to her arm for dear life that was around you to prevent you from squirming.

"Thought your pretty little brain had known..." she muttered. "I don't care what kind of relationship or what kind of feelings you have with eren. You. you're what I want, and need, of course."

What...

Flashback

You were with hange, levi, onyankapon and yelena. you guys were in the forest to look for survivors while waiting for updates from the scouts. You were in a tent with onyankapon and yelena, which for some reason, hange was not very happy about but before she could say anything, she had been dragged by levi since he needed her to talk with the other soldiers.

you and onyankapon engaged in a small conversation and you were talking about eren.

"So yeah, he said I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that he would give up everything for me and that whenever all this mess would end he was looking forward to building a family with me. He honestly was the bes-",

"boorrrinnnngggg" yelena cut you off, rolling her eyes and faking a yawn. "Men are boring. Except for you, onyankapon"

Your eye twitched and you looked at her confused. Eren was very important to you, so you were offended, "what? You said it yourself. He loves mikasa more. Get that through your thick skull, y/n"

End of flashback

Oh.

The warmth of her breath lingered on your nape making you shiver, "Now, now, no need to be scared of me. I won't hurt you, be a good girl and do as I say." You nodded, not wanting to do something you would regret.

You heard her set the gun on the counters as she turned you around so you were facing her, she looked down at your small figure while you looked up at her with wide eyes, she smirked and caressed your cheek while her other hand was on your lower back.

"Aww, don't be scared, baby. I won't hurt you." She said trying to calm you. Which, of course did not help because she was just too intimidating.

"You could have just told me..." you said in a calm voice while she chuckled and shooked her head. "Don't worry about it. For now. . . all I want is you" she tilted her head.

She leans in slowly and pauses before her lips meet yours, looking down at you with so much adoration. Her lips tastes so good, her aroma hits you hard, you feel your knees going week.

The hand that was on you lower back before, now squeezing your waist as the one that was caressing your cheek, now gripping your ass.

You wrapped your arms around her neck, still making out with her. She took your hands off of her and disconnected her lips from yours, you breathed heavily and so did she. She leaned closer to your ear and you could feel the hotness of her breath on your neck, causing your clit to throb. "You...have no idea.. how much I've been waiting to do that. Now, I have you all to myself".

and with that she turned you back around so that your back was facing her. She kneeled down so that her face was in front of your ass. She bent you down at the counter, your face came in contact with the coldness of the surface, while your ass was on full display for her, and her only.

You heard her take the gun from the counter and you felt it caress your thighs since you were wearing a skirt with no shorts underneath it.

"Hm, your wearing this short ass skirt and your not wearing any shorts underneath it?" She scoffed. She lifted up your skirt and inserted her fingers to the waistband of your laced underwear and slowly pulled it down.

You felt the gun in between your thighs as it kept caressing you up and down.

Yelena kept teasing you, making the gun barely touch your heat and then moving it down again. "Yelena, please...", "hm?" She asked, acting clueless.

"please...touch me!"...you whimpered. As her face was inches from your twitching hole. "Okay, as long as you make sure you be quiet..." she started sucking your vulva and she inserted her tongue inside you as she caressed your hips, making you a moaning mess, "yelena, more please!"  You whined.

She chuckled and said; "you need to be more specific about what you want, baby. C'mon use your words, your a good girl for me, aren't you?" She said kissing between your thighs.

"Please, please, please! I-i want your fingers deep inside me. Please!" You whined too loudly for her liking. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?! Since you don't know how to fucking follow rules you won't get what you want" she scolded you, you looked to the side to see her face and you were shocked to see what she was doing.

She was licking her gun and smirked once she saw you, making eye contact while seductively licking her gun, then, she stopped licking it; "face forward." She said sternly, and you did as you were told.

You suddenly felt her insert the gun into your twitching hole making you squirm.

"Oo-oohhh! Yelena...ohmygod." Your eyes rolled back as she started pumping her gun in and out of you. Your tongue lolled out of the Corner of your lips, "fuck-"

"if I hear one sound come out of the pretty mouth of yours.. I will pull the trigger. Got it sweetheart?" She smirked "y-yes" you mumbled and nodded.

She smiled as she started using her thumb to circle around your clit and then replacing it with her mouth. You couldn't take it anymore, you took your free hand and covered your mouth to stiffle your moans and whimpers.

After a few minutes of her inserting her gun in and out of you while her lips were around your clit sucking it, you finally came. And she pulled it out.

"Good girl such a good fucking girl, and all mine." She said as she kissed your clit and giving it one more lick to tease you, and chuckled as she felt you squirm. "I'll give you what you want now" she sighed as she pulled you back up on your feet, your knees felt like they were gonna give up anytime. And her staring at you did not help at all. She put her hands on your waist to keep yourself from falling down.

She carried you bridal style and placed you on one of the tables, your bare ass coming in contact with the table and kept you there as she made her way to the door and locked it after that she came back with a smirk on her face.

All for her.

You bit your lip as you looked up at her, her attention was all on you.

"Let's take this off, yeah?" She whispered, referring to your white button up shirt.

"okay..." she kissed your cheek and unbuttoned your shirt until one more button was left, she took it off of you As she stared in awe.

"Can we... take your bra off?" She said, a light blush on her cheeks.

You giggled and nodded as she unhooked your bra and finally taking it off of you. You sighed, 'finally my boobs can breath now' you thought.

She stood up straight admiring the view in front of her. "So beautiful." She mumbled.

Now you were fully naked. In front of her. In the cafeteria, legs spread, your bare pussy right in front of her.

She put one of her hands on your waist as she connected both of your lips together, her other hand caressing your left breast and pinching your nipple making you arch your back making your chest push more at her fingers, desperate for more friction and moan in her mouth, you could feel her smiling through the kiss.

She removed her hand from your waist and caressing your right breast pinching your nipple as well. She placed your nipple in between Her index and middle fingers, Pulling at it and letting it go. Making you squirm and making her chuckle in the kiss seeing your reaction. She pulled you by your nape placing one hand at one of your thigh keeping them spread apart. She caressed your waist, to comfort you.

she inserted her ring and index finger in your dripping cunt pumping it in and out of you, your walls clenched around her fingers making her hum in satisfaction.

"See, look y/n. Look how your tight little cunt just swallows my long fingers, look at how inviting it is, what a fucking whore, my whore." She kissed your neck and jawline as she felt your orgasm coming. "I'm- I'm cu-cumming!" You moaned, which sounded more like a whine.

She shoved her fingers in you and you gagged. "Stick your tongue out." Your eyes widened and you did as she said.

You stuck your tongue out and she removed her fingers from your mouth and placed them around your neck.

She then spat on your tongue, smirking as she was satisfied seeing her spit sliding on your Tongue, "swallow." She demanded and again, you did as she said.

She put her middle and index finger back in your dripping cunt and started doing a scissoring motion inside, she bent down to your heat and started wrapping her lips on your clit and sucking at it, never breaking eye contact with you, loving how you looked, how sweat dripped down your forehead and baby hairs sticking on the side of your face, whenever your breast bounced when she would hit your g-spot from the stimulation.

She pulled her long fingers and rubbing them on your folds and spreading them too, she spat on your wet cunt mixing your juices along with her saliva making you grow more needy as the wet sounds echoed through the whole room, As you cried out her name.

She shoved them back in making you scream her name. "yelena..ah!",

She ignored you and continued to please you, she pumped her fingers in and out of you, "m-more. Please!" You whined. "Like this, sweetheart?" She crossed her fingers inside you. "Ah! Fuck... mhhhng right...there..ooo-ooh!" You whined and breathed heavily.

"yeah, come on my good girl, cum for me, cum on my fingers, I know you can do it, baby." She kissed you and you kissed her back. You finally came and she removed her fingers out of you as she kissed your thighs and stood up and kneeled at the chair.

Putting her forehead on yours as you tried to catch your breath, just you guys staring at each other. Admiring each other's eyes.

"Yelena, can I please touch you...please" you pleaded, eyes watery from your orgasm earlier.

"No, baby. I only want you, so this whole night is all about you, 'kay?" She kissed your forehead. And you nodded feeling your cheeks heat up.

"Get dressed. I'll take you to my room. C'mon" she handed you your clothes, she sat at the table in front of you.

Man spreading and staring at you intensely.

Jesus, now that's something I would want to have in between my legs, every.single.fucking.day.' You thought.

You started to put your skirt and top on and hopped off the table and immediately fell on your knees.

Yelena's eyes widened and quickly stood up to help you get up, "I'll carry you, I'm sorry." You kissed her cheek and smiled at her. The concerned expression on her face quickly softened as she saw you smile.

Yelena: how fucking, adorable.

"Your okay. In fact I should be thanking you," you poked her chest and she giggled and gave your lips a peck.

-

You guys arrived in her room and she let you borrow a change of clothes so you could sleep feeling clean. Now, You layed at her bed while she was taking a bath.

Then it struck you.

YOU CAME IN THE FUCKING TABLE AND YOU GUYS FORGOT TO CLEAN IT UP.

'Shit shit shit shit shit! Obviously levi is gonna blame me since I was supposed to be the one cleaning there' you thought, you waited for yelena and she finally came out after 30 minutes.

With a bra on and boxers.

Oh.

"What's my girl thinking about?" She said while leaning sideways on the bed to face you. "Yelena... we forgot to clean up my...mess, and Levi is gonna suspect me since... I was assigned to clean there" you said, and her eyes widened before she stood up from the bed and took a white shirt and put it on. "I'll be back." She kissed your cheek and went outside the room.

You waited for a good 15 minutes when you hear her door open and in came yelena.

"All good." She smiled at you and made her way to the bathroom taking her shirt off, showing off her muscular back. She went there to wash her feet, and came back and layed next to you.

"Come here," she said and you moved closer to her and snuggled to her side while her right hand was around you and her left hand was at the back of her head.

And with that you guys fell asleep in each other's arms.

© this content belongs to hornyvirgin69.

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[ssurveycorpss]

X for the Veterans? Just like you did for the warriors, thanks ❤️

you got it nonnie! i havent uploaded anything in a while bc I Am Burnt Out from life so i hope this isnt garbage <33 i only wrote hanji, levi and erwin bc i wasnt sure if i should write like... rico, moblit, mike, the other dudes, but i can do them later if you ask?

alsoooo i have a lot of full fic drafts that i physically cannot work on bc im exhausted so you should send me letters for this hc game !!

hc game

tags: fluffy for the most part, not all romantic once again, modern au

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

levi ackerman:

ok this one is like really random but you know youtube/tiktok like asmr/aesthetic housework vlogs and videos? i feel like levi would take up making them. and all the comments would be full of people saying his house looks sterile and asking for cleaning tips lol. when he does his face reveal his follower count like triples and levi is just like "oh it must be the mopping hack i posted." and you just nod in agreement bc he was rlly proud of that one.

this is entirely me feeding into househusband levi au but he is apart of the neighborhood housewife association (even if he does work) and he is beloved by everyone in it bc he always offers to clean up and makes the best tea. even if he isnt a househusband hes still allowed to join because hes really useful even if he isnt good at socializing. like people could ask for cleaning tips and stuff and he will go really deep into details.

he doesnt like to drive. would rather take public transport, walk or ride his bike, or have you drive him everywhere. i think he has a license just in case but he avoids using it as much as possible. he gets really bad road rage and it just makes him really nervous (especially if theres other people in the car). he prefers sitting in the passenger seat next to you because its really calming and he feels sort of protected. since he cant take like the train to carry all the stuff he buys from the wholesale store for his teashop you guys block out a day of you driving him there so he can buy tea leaves and napkins. if you cant drive he gets erwin to take you both and you just end up doing the heavy lifting lol.

hanji zoe:

they are like equally the worst and best caretaker ever when you get sick. like they can tell you what you have (if its not life threatening) just by looking at you and can get you all the best home remedies and medicine but theyre really reckless. they make a mess in the kitchen when they make you soup and they hold you too close and end up catching whatever you have lol.

dont go to any sort of supermarket with them. actually dont run any errands with them. you will get so sidetracked it will be awful. but hanji doesnt realize that theyre distracting you from everything so they give you puppydog eyes when youre about to leave without them so they end up coming and by the time you get to the bank its closed because you had to stop by a stream and look at turtles. eventually you learn to just do your errands on days where theyre working.

falls asleep with their eyepatch on. you asked them why once and they said its just comfortable and they've gotten really used to it. so every morning they take it off to shower and they have red marks on their face from the elastic and they look rlly menacing lolol

erwin smith:

everyone says he is like a grandpa on social media and dont get me wrong i agree! but i think he is one of those corporate professionals that posts like really cringy motivational quotes on linkedin. connie and sasha make like burner accounts and comment stupid copypastas or troll underneath his posts in the comments and he just replies with "I'm sorry, I am a bit confused. Care to elaborate? Thank you, Erwin Smith" which makes them lose their fuckin minds they find it hilarious

good at pairing wine with certain dinners or cheeses. the man can appreciate cheeseboards. i feel like he holds fancy dinner parties or potlucks that many people only come to for good wine. when eren or jean need to take a fancy bottle for some occasion like meeting their s/o's parents or something he helps them pick something out. he also ties their ties and lends them cuff links. dad friend <3

ends up driving levi to run errands when levi's partner is not available. they hang out a lot so they kind of like coordinate times to go grocery shopping or get some new furniture together. they get mistaken for a couple a lot and when people ask if they are he just goes "No, I have a very beautiful partner who I love a lot!" and levi just rolls his eyes lol

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

heres my epiphany about being an evil sicko heterophobe who wants to disrupt the status quo and make your kids gay /j

over the past few months ive noticed ive been becoming increasingly more averse to straight/heteronormative ships. ik it isnt the end of the world and like. straight people arent oppressed for anything queer people arent also oppressed for. but its been bugging me because while heterophobia is such a non-problem that i was hesitant to even type out the word, simply reversing the roles doesnt really make it any better unless its for a hypothetical scenario. whatever you have to say about it, an aversion to a perfectly fine relationship just because its straight isn't necessarily the worst evil in the world but at the same time thats still a bad thing

and i mean for a little bit i was able to shut that part of me up! when done right, i honestly love sonamy. its just such a pleasant little ship. and also now ive got the tag blocked and consider myself a sonamy anti. ik it sounds really silly. "oh boo hoo, you don't ship the cartoon hedgehogs, whatever." and it is really silly. but its not just that. literally every other straight ship i like is either because the characters look good together/have interesting aesthetic combos (eg shadamy) OR i actually like the relationship but i cant bring myself to love it like other ships

again, not liking a straight ship isn't the be all and end all of everything, but i think back to this sonamy comic i saw months ago that i HATED. this morning i pictured amy as one of the guys in sonic and it was fine. i pictured sonic as one of the girls and it was fine. like i dont care if its not a serious problem, i dont wanna be like that.

and then i think about other ships im a fan of. i like a lot of straight mario ships, for example, so long as its not rosalina with a guy or waluigi with a woman. but then i remember WHY i like those ships. my favourite straight ship of all time is probably luaisy. theyre a really cute couple and i love them to bits!!! and then i remember i h/c them both as bi and trans, specifically t4t as well. this extends to other ships too. in fact, i love LOADS of straight pairings, so long as theyre actually not romantic and queerplatonic instead. put simply, i feel a need for some hint of queerness in EVERY ship.

and so i wondered why. why do i care? why do i have irrational hatred for a fictional boy and girl kissing if it isnt exactly how i like it? and then i thought back to when i didnt even slightly have that hatred and connected any two characters who i thought might possibly have something appealing out of a relationship. it was probably year 9, a few years ago. so what was the difference?

my friends.

back in year 9, i was surrounded by queer people, offline, online, real and fictional. now, however, a lot of them have realised theyre straight or drifted apart. its not their fault, thats just who they are and im glad theyre happy. as for the friends who drifted apart, theres not much i can do. but the only close queer friends i have who i have actually met in person are 1) my cousin who lives on the other side of the country and 2) the people who i see in summer school. summer school is 1 week a year btw.

obviously i dont lack queer friends. ive got loads online. but people arent kidding when they say your life will be vastly improved by being in physical queer spaces. my town's too small to organise any real pride events, so i cant really find new queer friends NEARBY very easily. i love my online friends, i really do, but even if we video called every day, it can never quite get on the same level as being in the same room as your friend. in other words, i feel slightly isolated when it comes to being queer. i guess thats why im looking forward to sixth form so much: i DESPERATELY want to meet someone more like me. not just in being queer, but being queer is a great place to start

so, if that does happen, maybe ill stop being like this and calm the hell down. i really hope i do because its genuinely annoying when you have an irrational aversion to something completely fine

im really tired but i literally just had an epiphany hold on