#and im also really sensitive to medication so maybe that's related

[avephelis]

I know when i was a baby, doctors completely overlooked celiac and gluten intolerance as options, mostly saying i was undergoing growing pains, but if you do think gluten is a reason for pains and such, try not eating gluten for a while (pretty hard to eat out if you do this, and gluten free breads and meals are typically more expensive). Tho Im sure now doctors know more about celiac and other such allergies. If you have a family member with some sort of gluten intolerance or allergy it could be possible you as well have it. But good luck i do hope you figure out your mysterious illness soon

i don't think it's specifically gluten because i am. kind of? just. intolerant to. everything?? like i will eat and i'm like "oh i love food that was such a lovely meal" and then my stomach roundhouse kicks me into a wall. also no family history afaik.

we ticked off all the potentially fatal causes and honestly that's good enough for me.

[foressfaction]

Im gonna ramble

Or well its more of a vent cause i love yall and feem comfortable being able to just randomly vent yet ramble about thoughts like this.

NOTE: i am Not attacking or hating on other's takes or head canons if anything im just expressing a thought ive had that ive had personal mixed feelings with.

Trans Toby is such a comfort yet scary to me at the same time. Its obvious i use him as a sense od escape and project myself heavily onto him since I've pretty much identified as him for a whilw now due to my silly brain. The idea of putting what pains me so much onto him makes me so fuckin sad. I use him as a way to present CIS and like..be a biological male ofc.

Me, being pre T and pre surgeries coming summer time it gets worse every year and that ive actually thought of having alternate realities where i could make him trans but like me, before the medical transitions. But as someone who uses a CIS character to escape being trans its super hard to think that.

When i see other's takes on it its so fuckinh cute and almost comfortable but when i thought about it...It made me really sad?? Obviously i hc him as just a cis dude.

The thought of him like doing his own top surgery is like, relatable? Im about there myself tbh. Maybe he's already years on T but realistically idk

How that would be possible giving he lives in thw woods and how would he have medical access to that ect ect..

With others its easy to project their actual lives onto characters in the form of head canons but its like i almost wanna stray as far as i can away from mine so i dont have to also live it through whats suppose to be my escape, my relief.

Although its painful for me personally and a sensitive topic, its been on my mind alot lately. Especially thinking about senarios thay couod happen with Jack about it, him being quite knowledgeable in the medical field and finding out that type of stuff and loving no matter what because maybe i just

i dunno maybe i crave something like that myself..

Sometimes i just wanna draw him with the scars, or with a binder, but i don't personally headcanon that. That sucks cause i almost want to? My mind won't let me, as that would just be me thinking in headspace like...Im trans in both worlds, and theres nothing wrong with being trans obviously. Its just the huge source of mu depression and it holds me back from so much, why would i want that for something that i escape to, and sometimes i want to cry cause of the writing senarios and ideas that would hurt me to write but could also stim as a vent of some sort.

Though the idea of it all being pre operation and HRT hurts me as that's my current issue, maybe having it all be already done and in the past..So i can live through someone that has achieved what i desire. Sometimes i think of that..

Being trans is a big part of me but i don't let it define me like the stupid state i live in. Why do i find it so hard to project it? It's not a bad thing. Its a beautiful thing, plus i love representation.

I can always just live through the other's takes on it. It is vert cute and would honestly make sense giving he is actually most appearance goals for MOST trans mascs.. I. Feel like we all just kinda gathered towards him as a character due to his lore sorta being able to have multiple meanings.

And that's why i just think he's neat and that the trans hcs are amazing. And my struggle to ever personally think that :((

[trying414]

Maribat Prompt

This was titled post-idea, and i literally just copy-pasted my note, so thats why theres the crying prompt thing at the bottom.

Also, none of this is meant to be offensive or anything. I wholly support all genders/sexualities. And I'm pro-choice. So if this is offensive, I'm so sorry, and please let me know (gently, im sensitive) so I can try to correct myself ❤️

Damian ladybug, Marinette black cat

"Father, I have acquired a kitten. I'm keeping her. She's MINE." (Stake his claim so no adoption occurs. But also the kitten joke because he loves animals.)

"Holy shit, it's hereditary." (I've definitely seen this line with Mari being a cat, but she's always with a bird. Not a bug. Which is fun for the cat-who-got-the-canary plays, but not what I'm going for with this idea.)

He can become red bird or something, I don't know. He can't be ladybird. I know that would relate, but he's not a lady.

Unless 

Maybe he does it just to spite people

And take down sexist, discriminating assholes

He might

His brothers would laugh, but they would get behind the cause

It would seem so out of character

But he would enjoy trolling people

Maybe the bats mention ladybird strategically

People are looking for a female

And then as soon as one starts talking shit, BAM!

LADYBIRD IS A DUDE WTF

STAB STAB STAB

OW OW OW

(Those two lines were a reference to a play I was in when I was in high school and they fit perfectly 😂)

😘 drink your respect women juice, kids

And accept all.

Oh my God, though.

I know this started as damian, but could you imagine dick or Jason? Maybe even Tim. I feel like damian is just the least likely to pull this shit.

"Ladybird is a dude wtf"

Cue fake tears "I'm TRANS you PRICK"

he's not, but he supports whole heartedly and that will teach them not to assume one's gender

Suddenly, gothamites have united for Trans rights. Pride month is bigger than before. And gothamites protect their own. Someone says shit about their "Trans" bat? Oh FUCK no. And all the Trans gothamites finally feel represented. Whichever batbro is playing that part takes pride in helping them feel represented. He may not be Trans himself. But he knows how important it is to feel like you matter.

Bonus if it's Jason because he lived on the streets. He knows what being Trans and unaccepted can do to people, whether it be murder or suicide or rape. He's seen them turn to "hormone therapies" found on the street because they can't afford proper medical help or their family doesn't support it and the drugs are a bad batch or laced with something or not even the correct drug at all, and the next thing he knows, they're addicts or dead. Fuck yes he's going to represent.

Give him a more tragic backstory. Maybe he had a trans friend on the street that wasn't accepted by their family. Maybe he tried to help them get the drugs or tried to talk them out of it (having seen his own mother). And they died for it. So when he has the opportunity to represent, he takes it. No one knows if he's mtf or ftm. Maybe he's nonbinary or genderfluid (though I'm pretty sure that's not trans? I could be wrong. And if I am, please gently correct me. I want to learn, not be attacked.) Hell, maybe he's nb or genderfluid outside of the mask. I don't know. I don't think he would be trans, if I'm being honest. The only one I think I could really see as trans is Tim. Though, I'm sure there are great ways to spin Jason as trans, and no hate on that. Just not for this au (though if someone wants to run with this idea and make him trans, I have no problem with that, and I will happily read it 😊)

Fuck, I just wrote a whole goddamn prompt 😭

[chronicmigrainetime]

im terrified.

I ve had this for over three years, its constant. its pain, tinnitus, noise sensitivity, the insomnia, the muscle tension, the brain fog. its the occasional immobility. the rare paralysis. its spending three days not being able to practice basic hygiene or eat

I’ve just graduated from uni. Everyone I talk to tells me that Im amazing for even getting beyond my first year with my condition (I started uni within 8 months of me getting migraine). They say I should be proud of myself and I am but

This last year was so hard. My depression is at an all time high, I wake up and go to sleep anxious. My pain was so bad. I spent 4-6 weeks bedridden and alone

How am i supposed to enter the workforce?

I know I’m capable, logically speaking I graduated with a law degree in a debilitating condition. I managed to do quite well for myself despite spending essentially 5 weeks completely incapacitated so part of me knows I’ll be okay.

I also know how bad it gets, how bad it was in the beginning, how bad it was during those weeks, how bad it was just at the end of last year, how bad it probably will be despite my every precaution.

if you have any advice Id greatly appreciate it. I know i need it.

Hi iselenris, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It is scary, and I can understand why you would want to scream into the void about it. I have given it some thought and hopefully I can say something helpful, or at least provide some comfort that you’re not alone.

I can really relate to a lot of what you’ve said here. I became incapacitated by chronic migraines at the start of my second year of uni, had to take a year out and then came back part time. I did eventually get my degree (in physics) but it was a real struggle and incredibly detrimental to me physically and mentally.

Now you and I are both out here with prestigious degrees that we worked really hard for and that we can’t put to use. I agree that it is a tremendous accomplishment and I think you should be proud of yourself, but I also understand the hesitation to celebrate fully. We put ourselves through hell to get here, and that’s not sustainable. So what do we do now? And if we can’t do the thing we wanted to do with our degree, why did we put ourselves through all that?

It’s now two years since I graduated, and I still haven’t ‘entered the workforce’, which is maybe not the most hopeful thing to hear, but I do think in that time I have found an answer to those questions.

My answer to ‘what do I do now?’ Is to make you and your health your top priority. I get the sense that you know that this is a crisis, I think it’s a good idea to treat it as one.

I don’t know your situation so I don’t know how possible this is for you, and maybe this is a frustrating thing to hear, but my main advice on how to do this would be to stop for a while. If you keep going when your body is telling you to stop, eventually it will force you to stop, y’know? Unfortunately, stopping obviously requires outside support, but if you have that now is the time to use it. If you are in a position where you don’t have to work, don’t, and if you’re not, find something that uses the minimal amount of your energy while keeping you afloat. If you have the option of someone else making your meals, take it, if not make your meals as easy as possible. In any case my advice would be to use the time that you have stopped doing other things to:

Rest without feeling guilty, you are doing the work of healing

Unlearn the idea that your worth is tied to your ability to work, you are enough just by being you

Take note of how your body is feeling and respond to what it needs

Prioritise yourself and your body’s needs above any “shoulds” and “oughts”

When you do have the energy to do things, focus on the things that bring you joy or make you more comfortable

Learn about your condition(s) and the things that might help you

Decide what kind of medical care you want to try and get (if any), and get the ball rolling on it

How long will it take to feel well enough to come out of this recovery state? We cannot know. But I know that (thanks to a combination of all of this, and finding some medications that work for me) I am feeling better than I did a year ago, and much better than I did two years ago. I may not have ‘entered the workforce’ but most days I know I can do the work of being a person (which is not an insignificant amount of work!). On the good days I can even imagine getting a job again, and then I’m glad I did finish my degree, because I know it will still be there when the good days become frequent enough for me to use it.

If you are looking for advice on the more medical side of things I will point you to this post, this resources list, and the #ajovy tag on my blog. I can also give more specific advice on navigating medical things if you’d like, but I don’t want to do that unprompted.

I hope that some of this is helpful to you, and I hope you are able to find some improvement. Be kind to yourself

- C

[writeousposting]

Introduction Post!

New writing account alert!! Mark your calenders!! 24/8/14, 12am!!

Intro under the cut 💞

Writeousposting !! <3

Name(s); Writeous, Nuke, or Doll!! (no preference!)

Pronouns; they/xe/it + neopronouns

bodily a minor, please keep this in mind.

Very mentally ill!!! Please also keep this in mind when interacting!

-

Link to our carrd, if you dont wanna read us going on and on; https://writeousposting.carrd.co

-

We're a writing account, if the name didnt let you clock it!!

^ Namely for fandoms, via requests!! (once we get those..)

List of fandoms we're in!

Pink; writing for, Blue; not writing for, purple; maybe!

arcana famiglia (does this have a fandom?)

Bungou Stray Dogs

call of duty??

chainsaw man

cuphead

Deadpool. (no other mcu things or wtv.. only Deadpool.. maybe spiderman..)

demon slayer

dragon pilot

dungeon meshi

five nights at freddy's

gravity falls - will change, I just need to rewatch first :)

haikyuu

happy sugar life

i am not okay with this

jujutsu kaisen

kakegurui? - maybe in the future

mario?? ig??

My hero? - in fandom, never actually watched :3

ouran private high school host club

pokemon - havent watched much in forever man

pressure - PLEASE

Puelle Magi madoka Magica

resident evil (specifically 8, village) - ooc if i do write, for sure

rising impact - please.

Saiki K - ooc, but id love it!!

School Bus Graveyard

seven deadly sins - idk the characters good enough!!

sonic - same as sds

stars align -angst..

suits..? - only if i get to hyperfixate on court for no reason for the fic

the resident? - make it medical information instead of court and you got a deal

Voltron - not finished yet, but i would love to write it!!

Wednesday - would need to rewatch first

whitepine - not enough content to write for it, will when more gets released though, maybe!!

and probably more..

-

regarding requests;

NSFW is.. fine, but it's either freaky or nothing. (if you dont include a kink ill choose one, but it WILL be freaky if you req nsfw, i promise :3)

Sensitive topics are awesome!! Please include them! Especially heavy ones! I like angst!! (ex; sh, eds, death, noncon, suicide, etc)

^ off of those two, feel free to ask for some INSANE shit. like please! i want to have to spam "dead dove: do not eat" before the cut!!

continuing..

some things are off the table due to my weird brain; crossovers arent fun for me unless it's like an ultra cool specific idea, so feel free to request, but it might be ignored. X reader / self inserts / ocs aren't huge for me, but if it's a good idea, maybe! It mostly depends on the fandom, really! (like no reader for like.. bsd, but mushroom oasis? or games where you play as a "player" rather than a character, as example)

Feel free to ask for things other than fics, such as headcanons or just random questions regarding lore!!

-

BYF; im problematic, so keep that in mind lol!

i also dont have a dni, but i wont entertain certain things, and i block freely.

^ you should too! dont like? dont interact! Simple!

-

Pinterest; writeouscoll (https://www.pinterest.com/writeouscoll/) I post WCUE stuff on there.

Twitter; writeousposting (https://x.com/writeousposting) same as here, writing/fandom stuff! (not too active tho)

Carrd; https://writeousposting.carrd.co basic info (byi, dni, and interests, mainly)

Spotify; https://open.spotify.com/user/31wxf6o5shdkxus6feeotmokpkye?si=59026fdf27aa4bad not sure why you would want my spotify, but there it is..? (i post playlists there sometimes?)

-

extra note; I wont ONLY post writing, and might just post random stuff (like info dumping or facts about stuff) sometimes, but a majority of my posts will be related to writing, if it isnt writing outright.

[traumatizeddfox]

hi! so i was wondering a couple of trauma-related things.

tws for: bullying, dissociation, educational trauma, medical trauma, burnout, self-esteem issues, self-harm/suicidal ideation, long ask (i don't know the importance of these so i'm listing them just in case)

so i've had some things happening to me recently, and in total, and i was wondering about what your perception of them might be, just because i'd like outside perspective.

cyber-bullying: when i was younger, during the pandemic, i was still in school. i played minecraft with my friends a lot on a server. one of the guys on the server, let's call him v, joined after the rest of us. i wasn't very good at minecraft, and as the only girl i was sometimes teased. after v joined he started doing things that were upsetting and i told him not to. for instance, he'd lure me to "help him with mining", then kill my character and make me lose progress. he'd chase me around and hit me with swords (in game). the worst experience i had with him was when he trapped my character in a room i couldn't escape, and just hit me over and over and didn't let me leave. when i brought it up to the server moderator he was reluctant to do anything, and the other guys there weren't very supportive. eventually, i got my parents to intervene, and i don't play minecraft with v (or on servers in general) anymore. my question: was this cyberbullying? am i right to still be sensitive about it?

medical trauma: i was diagnosed with a type of chronic headaches about a year and a half ago. every day, all day, my head would hurt. eventually, i got treatment, by process of routine procedures and an eventual semi-surgery/procedure requiring anesthesia. however, i sometimes/often get headaches nowadays, and i have a tendency to think my head hurts a lot. my question: would this be a trauma response to my previous headaches (ie, misconstruing/exaggerating/overreacting to small headaches)?

education trauma/dissociation/burnout: i am currently in high school, which i am having an awful time with. i used to have fun in school, and i like learning, but my highschool is very large. i have asd and issues with executive dysfunction, so i'm tired all the time after socializing at school. i have trouble focusing, and often feel very bad about not getting homework done. i am currently in a constant state of exhaustion, feeling like crying all the time. i've also noticed recently that when i'm at school i kind of check out, just stop being in myself per se, try to do something like reading that takes me away, and am sort of in a fugue state. my question: does this seem like dissociation? do you have suggestions for me to fix it?

self-esteem issues: i have issues with self-esteem where i have excessive guilt and respond to any criticism with self-hatred and beating myself up. there's a little voice in my head that tells me i'm awful, i have guilt attacks where i feel like stabbing or cutting myself. my question: do these things seem like they could be a symptom of trauma, or more of just rsd or something else?

thanks so much for consideration :) sorry the ask is so long

-anon ida

Hi Ida! Ill try to answer as best as I can but just remember I am not a mental health professional!

Cyberbully: I would def consider it cyber bullying, mainly because he was taunting you and just personally harassing you. even if its in-game, its still really annoying to have someone constantly chase after you, kill your character and lose progress, to me thats harassment.

Medical trauma: Im not very experienced in medical trauma, but I did get severe neck pain back in 2019/2020 and the pain was horrendous, i wasnt able to do anything, and when i get pain in my neck i get super anxious. It might not be medical trauma towards ur headaches, but it could be a panic disorder, like maybe you're in fear of the pain?

education trauma/dissociation/burnout: this one im not too sure, to me it sounds more like burn out, it could be a bunch of things honestly! it could be burn out, it could lack of vitamins, it could be a list of things

self esteem issues: i have similar issues, I think the same things about myself. I cant say for certain if it's trauma, if it's thing youve heard others say to you, it could be a series of things. it could be social anxiety, it could be depression, etc.

It's definitely best to get a professional psychologist, therapist, doctor, etc to give you proper advice and information! It's a little hard for me to answer since I don't know you personally and I also am not a trained mental health professional but thank you for the ask and I hope things turn around for you!

[beemers-hell]

what do you plan on doing for the fic, if you're okay with sharing? i really want to read your writing, but im afraid of triggering myself on accident!

Don't worry, I don't think there's gonna be much of anything in the fic that may be exceptionally triggering to look out for! However, if something sensitive does come up in a chapter I'll be sure to tag it before the chapter in an author's note!

At the moment, all I can really think of is that like, detailed descriptions of extreme violence and gore will be included, it is madness after all lmao, so I'd imagine most of y'all are already chill with that. I'll also be including some graphic depictions of medical scenes and surgery and shit since like, yanno, Doc is gonna be prominent throughout this so I guess that's something to keep in mind lol

I will be touching on stuff like parental loss/death, as that's part of Bank's backstory, and there will be a lot of discussions and explorations of parent child relationships that aren't 100% healthy, since that's the point of the fic. Absolutely nothing abusive or horrible is going on, it's just that there's some emotional disconnect and distance between Hank and Bank and the journey to fix that is the main focus of this fic! So that means stuff like tense moments and arguments and stuff related to that will appear occasionally throughout the story, but I will warn about it before the chapter starts, and I promise you, it's not going to teeter into anything that would actually be classified as abusive. Just normal shit with growing up yknow

And like, who knows, at certain points I might point attention to some character's personal struggles when it comes to stuff like backstory and shit, and for some characters that are going to be prominent, some things from their backstory will probably be sensitive for some people. Shank in particular, since he's unfortunately suffered from sexual abuse, BUT, at the moment, I don't have any plans to make mention of anything like that. IF I do, and this is a BIG if, I promise I will put a content warning, and I will not be divulging too much about it, nor is it going to be a prominent focus, and I will do my absolute damndest to stay respectful while discussing it.

Additionally, you have absolutely nothing to fear when it comes to triggering events that COULD pop up in a story. You won't be seeing any actually fucked up shit happening in this, the furthest it'll go will be maybe a hostage or torture situation, but it'll be the usual madness kind of deal. Nothing serious, I'm not that kind of writer.

I know a lot of fanfic I've read will sometimes drop some FUCKED shit on the reader out of nowhere for no reason and I'm EXTREMELY opposed to just doing that without warning or any valid reason to include it in the text, and I don't have any reason to include anything in that category within this, so I'm not gonna. I promise you, you've probably got nothing to worry about!

[ghostlynimbus]

Hi!

My wife is trans and started faer transition a few years ago.

I had a lot of anxieties about this too. It's a lot of big changes and it's totally reasonable to feel anxious about the ways in which your lives together might change.

I had a lot of fear, for faer safety, for faer job prospects (fae was the sole financial provider for our family, as i am disabled and can't work a normal job), and also about how our relationship would be like going forward.

I'm bi. I've known that for years before my wife came out to me. But I also have a decent amount of trauma related to women, and femme presenting people. I worried that I wasn't capable of feeling the same for fae as femme person, as i did when I thought fae was a man.

That aspect of things has not been easy, and it's had it's ups and downs. On the one hand, I find my comfortably with women has in general increased through these experiences. For the first time, I have a femme person in my life who I am very close with, who I trust, and who is always mindful and respectful of my boundaries. Someone who I feel so safe with that it has helped me to be more open to taking the risk of trying to be closer to others.

On the other hand, i have been a little more... jumpy? at times. I love my wife, I trust faer, I feel safe with faer. But as faer's transistion progressed I found that there were moments where, in the moment my trauma reacted to faer in ways that it hadn't before.

With that, and with all things related to my wife's transition, my experience has been that it is best to take things one step at a time. To understand that this is a big change built of thousands of little tiny changes, and that I do not cope well with change. It's been important to forgive myself for the growing pains, and to really put in the work on trying to be the best communicator that I can be.

For a while, I felt like in order to be a supportive husband that I needed to shelve all of my anxieties and insecurities and any little bad reactions I had to any of this. I thought that I needed to put those aside, deal with them on my own, and not put a damper on my wife's transition experience by letting fae know I was anything less then happy about any of it.

That was the wrong move.

My wife and I are partners, and I should have trusted her enough to be honest with her. There is a time and a place for such discussions, we've found that we both benefited from having a dedicated "Serious Talk" time each week, for things that were important to talk about but not time sensitive enough to need to be talked about right away. We also found that, after she switched to doing injections, that generally it worked better to do these serious talks somewhere around the middle of the week between each dose. YMMV with that though.

as for the specific questions in the post:

"will my partner still be able to lift things as easily now that they don't produce as much testosterone as before?"

Maybe, maybe not. My wife can probably lift things better now than fae could before. Because for fae, when fae started transitioning fae also started a period of changing a lot of things in faer life, and generally just taking better care of faerself. Fae works out regularly now, and is probably stronger than fae was before.

I'm no expert in biology or medical stuff or whatever, but ime as someone who has been around people transitioning in various directions and as someone who participated in a lot of sports back in the day.... for most people testosterone or lack thereof doesn't make as big of a difference as some people think it is.

"what can they do to maintain strength?"

Same things anyone can do to maintain strength. Eating enough and doing strength related workouts.

I have heard, from various trans women/trans femmes in my life, that the first bit of transitioning can be a prime time to develop an eating disorder, so that is why I am emphasizing the eating enough part.

My wife found it helpful to have a work out buddy (which I couldn't be), and to get more into cooking (which i could help with by taking on more of the cleaning duties in the kitchen in order to make it a more comfortable/relaxing space for faer).

"how will their mood be?"

In my experience, up and down. If hrt is involved, my experience has been that starting a new med/adjusting the dosage usually leads to a bit of a rougher patch for a while while fae's body adjusts. And my wife has had to change/adjust meds quite a few times as fae and faer doctor try to figure out the right mix.

Usually things settle down after a bit though, and in general/overall I have seen a huge improvement to my wife's mood and state of mind. The adjustment periods remind me of PMSing, or in some cases pregnancy mood swings, but overall my wife is happier, more faerself, and has a healthier mindset.

"how is it like going from being a straight presenting couple to a lesbian couple in public spaces?"

This one is a little complicated for me to answer, because idk if either my wife or I have ever been straight passing. I'm also autistic and not the most observant of how people are perceiving me. Prior to my wife's transition we were at least sort of presenting as a m/m couple. Now sometimes people think we're a lesbian couple.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think to some extent people see us, and can tell that we're a couple and that we are queer in some way and just fill in whatever variety of queer they're familiar with that fits the closest.

Best advice I've got for this is to not take other's perceptions of you too seriously, but to also be mindful of safety. My wife and I live in a relatively queer safe place, but we do our best to be mindful that there are dangers to be aware of. Im definitely not an expert on safety stuff, but I am sure there are guides about it around that might be helpful to read over if anyone is new to being visibly queer.

Overall, I really recommend being patient and open with yourselves and each other. Recognizing that adjusting to big changes takes time and work, and being willing to forgive yourself and each other for inevitably not being able to handle each new bump in the road 100% perfectly the first try. I also recommend finding/strengthening your bonds with community. Both together and separately. Having people around that have had similar experiences can be helpful, but so can just having people around besides each other that y'all can turn to to talk or vent or get support from.

Best of luck to both of you, I hope this all goes well for you. <3

blazing this post as we're looking for any sort of resources that give general advice, tips, and tricks for SOs of people transitioning.

we're MtF and my SO has lots of anxieties related to my transition. they're being very supportive, they just need help with things like: "will my partner still be able to lift things as easily now that they don't produce as much testosterone as before?", "what can they do to maintain strength?", "how will their mood be?", "how is it like going from being a straight presenting couple to a lesbian couple in public spaces?", etcetera.

serious comments, posts, whatever is very much appreciated! the focus is supposed to be from my SOs perspective in this regard. "teehee they won't be able to open a pickle jar!" is not the approach we're looking for on this topic. again, serious, informed resources only.

thanks in advance!

🌟 The Vega System

[pangchou-vent]

on health

putting behind a keep reading for discussions of ableism and fatphobia (in both day-to-day life and in the medical system). also discussion of mortality related to congenital health issues, if that's a sensitive topic you may want to avoid this.

a recent video by imani/crutches & spice on tiktok has been making me think lately.

in it, she talks about the irony of fatphobes being concerned for her health, jokingly asking "do the years off my life stack?"

i came out the womb with medical issues. to put it lightly, i've got fucked up kidneys. always had 'em, have them right now, and will have them later. kidney failure is a question of when, not if. i'm constantly passing kidney stones, and, over the years, it stacks up to kidney disease as your kidneys get more and more damaged. we never knew the root cause, and treatment helped but did not completely eliminate kidney stones, nor progressive kidney damage. i do try to eat a diet minimal in trigger foods (e.g. low salt, low meat) but like, there's only so much it can do at the end of the day, and it's not really my goal to lose weight with the dietary choices as to literally stop my kidneys from getting progressively worse. it's like i'm digging my feet in the ground to try and stop the speeding train, solely using a rope attached to it.

anyways, specifically about the video. it made me think of something that happened when i was a kid.

another kid was making fun of me and said "my mom's a nurse and she said you're going to die young." i respond, "how did she know about my kidney problems?" the face she gave back was of pure horror, since that's not what she intended. i didn't realize until years later what she was trying to get at. that i was fat and that was going to kill me. as if it is suddenly okay to torment someone with their early death if they are fat, but not if it's another organ in their body. that only some kinds of early deaths are tragic.

so i just find it really ironic when so much of the conversation about fatphobia is centered around health. i've never been healthy. i'm never going to be healthy. i am probably going to die young for one reason or another. i'm never going to be athletic--i literally need to breathe more just to exist. i'm extremely limited in what i can physically do. it's not to say that i'm not physically active, but there are serious upper limits that i cannot broach, even with regular training, because i literally cannot breathe to keep up. all of this can be true if im 90 or 900 pounds. it doesn't matter.

and even just how it stacks on with pcos. i can't take metformin because of my kidneys (my kidneys cannot remove it at the normal pace, so i end up giving myself metformin poisoning). as a result, i just have to rawdog the insulin resistance and health impacts of that. and then it gets to the chicken or the egg, if gaining weight led to the insulin resistance or the other way around. i had insulin resistance issues as a kid (requiring hospitalization for extremely low blood sugar oop) so who knows. maybe it's just how it was always going to be.

and honestly at the end of this all, what's the most aggravating is the change in response to my fatness once this information is revealed. as if suddenly now it's 'okay' that i'm fat, but people who don't know that context will still think i'm a 'fat lazy slob' devoid of any humanity. and even still, it's not going to change some people's perception, as clearly fatness is solely a decision that people make for reasons that have nothing to do with internal or external factors, and every single fat person can clearly just make lifestyle changes to stop being fat. that it is not out of reach for anyone, or that it is a moral imperative that that is always your goal.

i suppose all of this is just to say that ableism and fatphobia are so intertwined, they both feed into each other in sometimes paradoxical ways. and it drives me nuts. just let me live the rest of my life in peace, jesus christ.

[washymylifeaway]

MatsuHana fanfic recs

HI LOVES :D MatsuHana is one of my FAVORITE ships and I always love reading their fics! I’m procrastinating my other wips rn, so that do be why this is coming out rn LOL. Also that ask really made me get onto writing this, so anon thank you for sending it in LOL. There are some with VERY sensitive topics and they’re very BOLD, but I hope you all are safe while going through this list <3 (also matsuhana leans more to lots of drinking, spicy smut scenes, and teenage boy humor (like d*ck jokes and sexual innuendos) and sometimes I don’t remember to warn for that, so again CAUTION)

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

CP:

plus one by orphan_account (G) 6.1k // this fic made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside LOL. It’s also hilarious and is definitely worth a read! When will I get to share a heart shaped bed with someone :( But I really love it when they just go with the flow of things, and other people are like,,, aren’t you already dating? BUT THEY’RE LIKE UMMM NO? HSAKJSH.

rated m for by orphan_account (T) 10.7k // I love this fic it made me laugh so much throughout the whole thing! The vibes in this fic are immaculate and give me life (we love a good reunion with mystery writers), it is SO good! That’s why you should never leave/stop listening prematurely (@ iwa when he was a single dad fic). 

This gets annoying fast, Makki by Ink_stained_quills (G) 2.3k // IM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC PLS I COULD NOT STOP CRYING TEARS OF LAUGHTER. This AU needs more fics PLEASE. It was SO freakin’ funny and the other teams KILLED ME. Like how they all approached the problem differently and how some of them (KUROO) asked for help LOL. Please this is so freaking funny go read it.

quidditch gloves, parchment, and custard cream by h_lovely (T) 12.4k // THIS IS SO GOOD, I love this fic. It really takes you through the emotions, and I love all the development in it!!!! Their relationship with one another (but only as homies right? ofc ofc), and even their families loving the other, this fic is so good! Read it even if you don’t like slow burn, you won’t even notice <3333

call me maybe by totooru (T) 33.6k // okay yea another (semi) chat fic,,, fight me. MatsuHana are just funny in general but throw some other characters (like Kuroo) into it and it turns into a comedy show. But the main point of this fic was like the near miss meetings and I think that the misunderstanding were hilarious (as much as I hate misunderstandings LOL).

Magical Mishaps and How to Deal by plumtrees (M) 10.9k // I lost this fic once and I searched for it FOR THE LONGEST TIME. But that’s cause I wanted to reread this masterpiece. IT’S SO FUNNY AND CUTE AND DOMESTIC AND UGH. Also the small angst made me SO SAD. But the ENDING? THE KISSES AHHHHHHH. (I’m yelling a lot BUT that’s cause I really love this fic <3333)

hang out fall in love by carafin (T) 8.6k // I love the Makki hates Mattsun initially but then falls for the irresistible charm he posses trope. It might be my favorite trope for MatsuHana specifically LOL. Like I really love this fic and it has MAGIC. It’s like a magical version of the VA one LOL. But like no radio shows or reunited best friends in this one :(

THESE ARE VERY ANGST!!!!!!!

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia (E) 91.5k // is it possible to hate a character this much? I never realized how much hate/rage I had in me. Really. Like. Imma boutta fight this MF LIKE SQUARE UP. The way I tried to manifest a fake characters death like,,,, Anyway. If my RAGE doesn’t explain how good of a freakin writer they are, then idk what will. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

Even Though it All Went Wrong by plumtrees (T) 9.2k // THIS IS THE REASON THIS POST CAME TO BE. I love this fic with all my heart (or what’s left of it). Like LOVE as in, this fic really broke me beyond just breaking me. Like. When Oikawa says what he says to Mattsun after the thing (you’re sorry __ _____ __ ____) and the Iwa right after (we know __’__ ___ ______ to make you ____ __ ____) (if you’re wondering wtf I’m putting here, just ctrl F you’re sorry and you’ll see), you cannot believe how hard that hit. GOD. (I am okay if you’re wondering :’)) This is my #1 favorite angst fic of all time and if you are okay mentally and have read the tags and warnings and are fine with them, then please read it. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

The Truth Comes Out by Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon (T) 10.2k // this made me so sad and empty after I read it. Like I just sat there being like wtf did I just read I’m sad now. Again read the tags, there is a suicide attempt but there’s also some cheating in this one. This one also ends happy. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

New:

kiyala // this writer has a LOT of fluffy MatsuHana and I really love their works! It’s just all (for the most part) really cute and there’s a lotta blurred lines and boundaries that get cleared up (they define what their relationship is but with ~love~) in their fics :) My fav? Making Sense by kiyala (T) 1.5k // it’s very cute and I am one who loves when things just fall into place :D

tookumade // this writer has some of MY FAVORITE MatsuHana fics in it and I’m kinda really sad I don’t get to ramble on about them here :( (dw I will elsewhere LOL) If I had to choose, I would say Remind Me by tookumade (T) 28.6k and Zenith, Nadir by tookumade (T) 10.7k were my absolute favorites, but I cannot choose between them so don’t make me.

plumtrees // I LOVE THIS WRITER OMG. Again, someone who has written my all time FAVORITE fics (did I mention OF ALL TIME?) and I’ve obsessively read some of them too many times :’) Because I already recommended my other faves above, Captured Light by plumtrees (T) 3.5k will be my acting favorite rn. It’s really cute and depicts some really sweet moments between MatsuHana too!

h_lovely // this writer has SO MANY GOOD FICS! I really love their series and their getting together fics are all SO GOOD UGH. I recommended my favorite teen one above, but the other ones I loved are explicit so just check out this writer in general LOL. (I REALLY love mirror flower, water moon, it’s my favorite but it’s E cause some smexy scene happen, but it’s really SO good omfg. Also the roses series IS AMAZING as well!!!!)

cream puffs and carnations; by crossbelladonna (series) 11.6k // AU SERIES!!! I love the AU’s in this series and I really liked the prompts they chose for this MatsuHana week :D My favorite from this series might’ve been there he is again by crossbelladonna (T) 1.6k cause a) I love the mattsun hc in this (for his appearance) and b) IT’S CUTE :D I definitely related to Makki and his not very subtle crushing, and also I like the IwaOi + Makki as friends trope (and then they meet Mattsun), if you couldn’t tell yet LOL.

on the anatomy of crushes by carafin (T) 2.3k // (kinda cp but not LOL) it’s very short and cute and I love it a lot LOL. I love medical AU’s (even though it’s very back burner LOL), but also, like Mattsun saves the day is the move. Like the dedication he has even going on the bus? Especially for a guy? Amazing. I could never :’)

Parallel Lines by orphan_account (T) 16.3k // IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE CONSTANTLY. I hate math. Just putting that out here. And while it’s a math fic, IT? IS? SO? GOOD???? And like I love it when characters are smart, like I love intelligent characters so like this was just ajndf. (also same Mattsun, I am allergic to normal math.) 

live it up, drink it in by punybastard (T) 2.1k // GAH this one! This is a pretty iconic fic in MatsuHana hell (in my personal opinion) and if I didn’t have that two fic limit on my staple fics, this would be there. I really loved the ending of it (v cute and v well done), but also the small side stories that were inserted made it all the more entertaining :D (aka the volleyball) But they are drinking underage, so if you’re not about that BE WARNED.

it's cold out here by bishounen_curious (M) 8.6k // PLEASE I LOVE THIS FIC. YES READ YESYESYES READ. OKAY FIRST check tags and warnings, there’s a lot going on in this fic. Like don’t be stupid like them, drinking underage, and don’t do drugs not a good idea very very bad. Aside from that, I am in love with sad sad sad Makki (along with stupid IwaOi) and him being a sad drunk made me ajhkjdfs. Just read it and feel the akfnakjs with me LMFAO.

poolside by tothemoon (T) 4.1k // I’m starting this out with I LOVE the ending and I REALLY LOVE the way this confession panned out. It’s such a great concept and it made me ajhfldshf inside!!! Also, recursive endings are some of my favorites (if you couldn’t already tell LOL), and I think it really makes something so nostalgic and adds depth to a fic.

The Courage of Stars by FairyLights101 (T) 7.1k // AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC YES!!!! OKAY TW CANCER THERE’S CANCER IN THIS NO DEATH JUST PAIN and chemo (which basically is pain). Some controversy, but the angst part of me wanted him to die DONT GET ME WRONG, I’m glad he lived, but like imagine. I really love this fic, and his efforts in the bucket list were admirable :’)

we could be the greatest team by anyadisee (T) 5.7k // it’s my crack fic :D Yes, this is just Seijoh messing around, boys being boys, relationships being compared with other relationships. No pining, just me with my established relationships (and Iwa fanclubs cause those are a thing. ALWAYS).

Wet Your Whistle by darkmagicalgirl (E) 5.4k // SMUT ALERT okay but like while it’s a major plot point (lmfao I can’t believe myself), the storyline itself is good. Also, I’m all here for bartender Makki and tattoo Makki and not subtle at all Makki and basically everything Makki. I like banter and stupidity okay?

[obnoxious clucking noises] by parenthetic (renaissance) (T) 3.4k // some more crack fic for you <3333 Literally, just idiots being idiots. That’s the fic. LMFAO but seriously, I would like to participate as well,,,,, I have yet to lose a game of gay chicken cause of my lack of fear akdjaslk.

that's what you get (for waking up in vegas) by skittidyne (T) 4.2k // THIS IS SO FUNNY. I love Elvis cause he’s always officiating marriages in my fics LMFAO. But also IwaOi in this added some real nice comedy, and overall another crack fic but I really liked this one (AGAIN LMFAO).

A Bouquet of Flours by guyfierimpreg (G) 5.2k // first I want to know how they got the flour to scream, I just can’t figure it out so if anyone would like to send me pictures that’d be great. Second, they would do this bs and this is all canon. I said what I said, and I don’t take criticism. Like, matsuhana best parents proven by the magical mishaps fic (LMAO).

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic (renaissance) (M) 2.1k // okay I just wanted to say that the accuracy in the math stuff being mentioned makes me feel like this writer was in calc ab or something and that’s trauma right there. Anyways, it’s a texting fic kinda sorta getting together kinda sorta not? Idk how to explain it, but it was funny and then smut LMFOAJIAHFSJS (the derail was just like IwaOi in gay chicken, someone call the police LMFAO).

nebulas by tothemoon (T) 10.8k // I like the casualness of it. Like the confession was just so casual (smooth Mattsun) and like the progression was GOOD. Like, it’s a very poetic fic and there’s lots of thinking of deeper meaning, but its still got some comedy sprinkled throughout. I really loved the flow of it!!!!

my heart beats for contract law by orphan_account (T) 4.4k // I too would have a breakdown over school (me pretending like I haven’t already done that ahaha), but I really love so many things about this fic! Everything was just so ajsdfljdsn and I really love the 3 part plan Mattsun comes up with :DDDD (esp pt 3). Also, to propose while having an emotional breakdown at 3am in a McDonalds drive through. A mf dream.

Reflex by hiuythn (T) 2.3k // PLEASE IF THEY DIDN’T MEET AT HS THIS WOULD BE CANON ASF. You cannot tell me you don’t think this would not be cannon asf. They would meet like this. Also poor Teuchi stuck in the middle of all of this. I haven’t watched naruto, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is random emotional sexual bonding over something. That is important. (THE ENDING AJKFHKJ)

You're in Pink (and I'm in blue) by Hyeyu (T) 4.4k // whooooo Hanahaki whooo anyway, despite how it seems, I like the hanahaki trope. I don’t fully understand it sometimes (most of the time tbh), but it adds some nice angst and desperate confessions, and I do appreciate those :D Honestly, I really liked the way this fic panned out, and I felt really bad for Iwa LOL.

stranger things by tinypersonhotel (G) 10.2k // I really like this one :D:D:D I love Makki + Oikawa friendship and they’re really the best to each other :’) The ending was satisfying, and the PLOT omg. It was SO good. I feel like I say this a lot though LOL, but I’m just really into fics with good plot progression (or else I don’t read them OOPS).

something of a disaster by latenights (T) 1.4k // chaos ahahhaha. Another crack fic? I hope no one is surprised LOL. It’s just a really short and simple, cute getting together fic with a LOT of insults LOL. I love this one in particular, “Tooru’s dinner special”.

snakes, meth labs and something like love by orphan_account (G) 3.6k // THE ROOMMATE AD PLEASE. I honestly would never think Oikawa would get a snake, but that doesn’t matter LOL. This was me indulging myself in the makki IwaOi best friends and mattsun stranger agenda but it’s a great agenda okay? It’s a good fic and there’s a microwaved fish :D

Lemonade by carriecmoney (T) 4.1k // okay once again, responsible drinking and don’t drink underage bad idea smh. But MatsuHana just making out where they want? I could see that. Yeah. Anyway, as much as public make out seshes make me *gag* feel embarrassed, what made me feel more *gag* embarrassed was the fact that the girls? just? stood? there? Like why are you watching this. Is that just me? I feel like they should’ve left smh.

surprise, surprise by airblends (T) 7.6k // some more pining and dancing around the issue whoooo. As much as I hate them not getting to the point (almost as much as I hate misunderstandings), it was a great fic. This is nosebleed c*ck block (idk if I needed to censor that but I did fight me).

A God for Every Season by timkons (T) 18.4k // I love the Hades and Persephone trope! Okay, I just love mythology leave me be, but anyway I really love a lot of this fic. Like how Mattsun thinks it’s a little brighter with Makki? CUTE I LOVE. But also, the fish funeral is ridiculous but also very on brand for Oikawa. And some BokuKuroo (idk is that their ship) in here as well :DDD

The Best/Worst Places to Cry in the City by AngryKitten (T) 4.4k // literally it is the title. Just you know, looking for the best place to cry in the city,,,, I’d like to say, don’t cat call people cause we’re not about that here. Even if it worked out for them, just don’t do it :/ Also don’t follow strangers. I feel like that’s a given but jic ya know?

this isn't exactly how i thought i'd be spending my adult years by jadedpearl (NR) 7.5k // okay petty Makki is yes and so is my Makki + IwaOi agenda LOL. (I’m thriving here can’t you tell? Yes regular skype/phone calls constantly) Anyway, blackouts and sickness really be here getting people together. (I’m asking nicely, nike.) And Makki is smooth with his words. (SHORTER MEN MADE ME LAUGH)

chocolate by tellalie (T) 3.6k // the dedication in this fic was amazing. Like making a whole a cake? Someone go do that for me. (For mankind.) Fake dating is really something else, but fake dating to out gag your best friends? Seems like I need to step up my game (but no seriously, my best friends are PDA monsters I hate it here). Also practice confessions are wack.

FINALLY I MADE IT. You don’t know how many times I almost gave up on finishing LMFAO. Is this my longest list? Idk. But I just know that I would’ve finished faster if I didn’t end up rereading almost every fic on this list LMFAO. Like no seriously I almost had to make a post saying this wouldn’t be coming out cause I got distracted by one of the longer fics (I’m blaming Mirror Flower, Water Moon specifically). But I hope you enjoyed this, and once again go thank that anon for spurring me into finishing this list LMFAO (am I a horse? Yea, probably but if one thing, I’m not sturdy).

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon. Sorry about the previous ask I get nervous easy and feel like I need to check im not annoying anyone at times. If I am ever annoying you though or you want me to do anything though please tell me!

Watson is close to everyone from the group, because he's seen as the dad figure and an easy person to talk too. Besides from that Jackie and Grievous are close and often train or play games together, and Jackie and Ran are close, they don't do much expect just hang out and since their both the youngest that helps them feel a bit closer. Ran and Grievous aren't really close, though Grievous wants to make attempts to become closer to Ran, potentially by inviting him to training sessions or game nights.

The other fighters from the Pit are still around! They mostly aren't around the Pit as they have jobs and other stuff to take care off, but they try to vist often. Like Genevieve and Levi come over on a regular basis to train with them all and just hang out. And sometimes Genevieve and Levi participate in the Pit's fights just for fun.

He was kept in a room in Mizu. The room was reminiscent of a jail cell, with no glass in it, and a door that required a key to be opened, he wasn't completely chained down but they did put cuffs on his wrists to prevent him from moving around to much. Benjamin honestly just kind of felt like something was off, because most people don't commit mass murder without a reason and he couldn't find a reason for Ranbob doing it. And he has reported multiple times (along with the others) feeling a strange weightless feeling near dreams room, almost like their getting sucked into a void, while also hearing a distant voice in their head calling them to come closer. When everyone said they heard the voice, with Ranbob even saying from where he was that he heard the voice but much clearer, and sometimes he feels like he doesn't control what he's doing. Benjamin and Isaac decided to block off the room and nearby rooms and made it a rule that if anyone heard the voice or felt like that to report it to them and where they felt it so ot could be blocked off.

Because Ranbob said he heard the voice too Benjamin started thinking that maybe Ranbob wasn't in control and there's something deeper going on. They specifically figure out its the mask when Charles finds it and brings it up to the group, where reports of the voices and feeling come back ten-fold, and even Ranbob who was starting to show progress and become a bit more willing to talk harshly backtracked to where he almost tried to attack anyone who came into the room. So Charles quickly puts it back as far from the group as possible, with Cletus following him to make sure he actually puts it back. Later they talk about destroying it but the question of what will happen to the possession on it stops them, as what if when they break it, the possession type thing (its not actually a possession I just forget the word oop), moves onto another object? Maybe even connect to them or Ranbob?

Ranbob does learn how to sew! Charles helps him learn actually and it helps the two get close! Cletus and Isaac are forbin as of now to return to Mizu, there are talks about going back later in time but for now everyone agreed it'd be best to hang back and avoid Mizu no matter what.

Life in the house is very hard to adjust to at first for Ranbob especially, its mostly awkward and learning boundaries. But after a few weeks to months living with the fishermen Ranbob becomes much more comfortable to open up a lot. Closest to Ranbob is definitely both Benjamin and Charles, as Benjamin is the one who recognized what was happening to Ranbob and Charles is the one who he spends most time with (mostly teaching Ranbob random skills).

Even after the fight ends Ran is still incredibly mad, and when Ranbob is so much as mentioned he growls and gets more aggravated. The fishermen are mostly surprised, Ranbob did mention there was a survivor that he remembers almost killing before they escaped, but because it seemed like a sensitive topic they never pressed him to tell them more. They never would've expected the survivor was his brother though. And the gladiators are completely surprised, expect Watson, Ran told Watson his past about Mizu and his brother (because I like to think Ran has night terrors due to Mizu and Watson is often the one to comfort him). Its only once Ranbob gets taken off to the medical bay and Ran goes to blow off steam in the training area the two sides talk. Where what they've been told is shared and connections and understandings are made. And they all manage to agree to try to get the brothers at least on talking terms, so they can talk about what happened and at least attempt to fix their relationship.

They are not! Other enderman hybrids do exist but their very rare due to complexity with passing the enderman genes. Though Ran and Ranbob did have a family of 6 they where apart of (the 2 other siblings where younger than them) but not every member had enderman genes.

They do notice how Jackie looks similar to Tubbo but they mostly just brush it off, as if Cletus takes off his head gear he looks like Quackity and of course Ranbob looks like Ranboo with the mix of black and white skin.

Hey, don’t worry about it, seriously. I do the same thing with people, so I kinda get it. I really do enjoy reading these, so really, I should be thanking you for sending them!

The bonds between everyone sound interesting. So Watson’s just generally the dad friend? How does he feel about that? Has he just unironically adopted all these dorks? Is it something of an inside joke? Jackie and Grievous sound like quite the combination. Honestly I can imagine these two either being very chill, or very chaotic, depending on the day. Ran and Jackie just hanging out sounds neat, what do they do together? Do they play games like Jackie does with Grievous, or do they just nap and cloud-watch, or something similar? And Grievous trying to bond with Ran sounds nice, how does that work out for him? Do they find some sort of activity that brings them closer?

I saw you mentioned Ran and Jackie were the youngest, which brings up two things. One, does the height difference remain? I’ve seen a lot of art depicting it as such, and honestly, the thought of some new fighters being tossed into a fight with these two, and A, seeing this short kid next to this ridiculously tall guy, and B, their expressions when being told Ran’s not an adult is very amusing to me. 

And two, what exactly is the age limit for going into the Pit? It’s probably not incredibly young, but how old are Jackie and Ran to be stated as the youngest? In their early teens? Late? Older? What kind of rules are there in the fights, no deaths aside?

The other fighters still being around is pretty cool, how do they get along with the gladiators? I imagine fairly well, since you’ve said they hang out, but are they close with anyone is particular? And what exactly is the Pit, besides a tournament? Do people fight for money in there? Do they just fight to fight? Is it open to a lot of people?

So the fisherman hung around Mizu and talked to Ranbob? It must have been strange, seeing the change in their would-be murderer. It does bring up the question of how in control Ranbob was when he first met them. Was he relatively himself at the start, and only begin to fall more under Dream’s thrall later, or was he under it from the start? And how do the fishermen feel about this? 

Actually, how young even is Ranbob? I believe you mentioned him to be Ran’s older(?) brother, but as previously said, Ran’s among the youngest of the gladiators, so how much older is Ranbob?  How old was he when he was led to kill the residents of Mizu?

I believe the word you’re looking for is possibly spirit? I’m assuming? And yeah, pretty smart of them to get away from it. Do they ever end up dealing with that in the future, or is it a ‘let’s just agree to never go near that thing again.’ kinda deal?

Charles and Ranbob bonding! Very nice! What other skills does Charles have, and where’d he learn them? Actually, what’s the general backstory for the fishermen? Is it anything that could tie in later, or no?

But that adjustment period can’t be easy. As we saw, the fishermens’ house was pretty small, and for Ranbob, to go from literally being the only person there in a huge city, to such an arrangement, well. It can’t have been easy. How did it affect him, and how did the fishermen deal with it?

In relation, how did Ran deal with going from Mizu to outside it? I imagine the lifestyle was a bit different from what he was used to.

So the relationship isn’t so easily fixed, hm? Y’know, all things considered, that’s pretty fair. How do the two groups get along, once they’ve decided to get the two brothers back together? And what kind of plan do they come up with? Perhaps deciding to travel together? Or maybe stick around and fight more? How does that work out for them? 

How does Ran feel about the brother that almost killed him being around his new family? And how does Ranbob feel about finding him again? Did he even think he was still kicking, or believe him to be dead?

So Endermen hybrids aren’t that common huh? Does that happen to be why Porkius was so interested in them? And are any of the fishermen or gladiators hybrids as well? Philza’s often shown with wings, and honestly, I’m curious to know if your AU’s Watson is a similar hybrid, or otherwise. 

Also, how do the gladiators fight? Are there double battles and team ups? Is there anyone they fight better with? What’s their general strategy? 

And how does Porkius feel about these new developments? Does he know? Help out, or let them sort it themselves? What’s going on with our resident king?

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 5, Quarantining of infected people in the Olympic village?

Note: *This episode was recorded in March 2020*

Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting another installment of The Freedom of Expression. I've revived this show on youtube, from when we did it on the radio station InterFM.

J, T: Thank you so much.

K: So, Joe san, Tasai san, we are here again, as a continuation from last time where we were talking about the corona virus....Well, how do we think things will go from now on?

J: Yes, well, if you ask reporters and such, despite the counter measures being a bit muddled, it isn't really taking hold in Japan, therefore, I really think the number of infections will start to drop. I think we'll definitely be coming to the end of this before long. No matter what, you see an exponential increase at some point, and when that happens, the absolute number of infections increases. But at the present moment, that is kind of leveling out, so there is the view that if we stick to this path until the end, the number of infections will eventuall drop. However, like you said Kaoru, even if this comes to an end, will the economy quickly revover? You know, if people get used to this new lifestyle, we'll have quite a conservative, sensitive situation. Whats it going to be like if people continue trying to avoid close contact with others? I think thats the scariest thing. And then, what about the Olympics, will it go ahead or won't it? Well, thats for Tokyo Sports right? After all your name is 'Tokyo Sports' newspaper.

T: No, no, no....but they'll do it won't they? What do you think?

K: What exactly is Tokyo Sports' view?

T: Well, we had a staff meeting recently, and we generally thought there is an atmosphere that it will go ahead.

J: Yeah, there is no option NOT to go ahead with it, but there is the option of postponing it?

T: Well, yes.

J: It could be an option.

T: I don't really think it will be postponed though.

J: One interesting thing I've heard after talking to journalists and such, is that as for the timing of the olympics, Japan can't really decide that at all. In other words, it fits with America's schedule. It fits during the time that America's sports are off seaon. It doesn't really matter to the hosting nation. So it can be postponed if America says thats ok. If thats not the case, honestly, its less a problem of Japan's corona situation, but from the American side, the issue of the huge investment in broadcasting rights. So I've a feeling this issue will be cleared up over there.

T: If it came to that, it (the olympics), will probably go ahead right?

J: I think so yes. No matter what Japan's government or the Olympic committee says, if the one with the strongest power (America) says they want to do it, then we'll have to do it, I feel.

K: But this virus mutates doesn't it?

J,.T: Yes, thats right.

K: If that happened, and things worsened, it would be terrible, wouldn't it?

J: Yes, well, at the moment a lot sporting areas, including the olympics, are thinking about spectator-less games etc.. Well, anyway, there is this problem about what to do about the virus, what to do about the olympics but I've heard that Tokyo Sports put out an article relating to the olympics and corona?

T:  Ah, yes thats right. Well, we wrote an article about how people infected with coronavirus, could be isolated in the the olympic village.

J: Thats ??? *1

T: But, isnt it the best place? No one is using it...

K: Did they already finish building it?

T: Yes, its finished.

J: Has there been any response from the government about that?

T: Nah, I don't think the government pays much attention to what Tokyo Sports says. *the others laugh loudly*

J: I wonder if any people in the government actually read Tokyo Sports?

T: Oh, a lot of them do, but they think because we are Tokyo Sports, they can ignore what we say. *the others laugh* But, there will be about 18,000 people at the olympics, so for now thats enough space, right?

J: Yes, its enough

T: So people can be properly isolated..

J: and its all set up already..

T: and then if you sterilize it properly, its still really reasonable to use. But I don't think the government will like the idea.

Kami: They sold the land for a really cheap price didn't they?

T: Yes, well...yes.

Kami: For about a tenth of the normal price?

T: Im not so sure about the details.

Kami: Shouldn't it be ok? If they sold it that cheaply? It should be ok, right? *T laughs*

J: Well, thats right. But I think this is a very reasonable suggestion from Tokyo Sports, its quite unlike you guys *K laughs*

T: Yeah, we speak sense occasionally...

J: Even though you usually only write absurd or unlikely stuff, this time its a very reasonable suggestion.

T: We get serious in times of crisis.

J: Oh, is that so? I see.

T: So, after the olympics, they plan to sell of the olympic village as regular apartments. In that case, the value will fall, right? If they have been previously used for corona patients?

J: Oh, is that it?

T: So thats an idea too.

J: I see.

Kami: Its about 30 mins from the station isn't it? So its great for isolating, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true.

Kami: Because its far away...Its perfect really.

J: It is perfect, yeh. It has all the requirements.

Kami: And there's a lot of remaining land around there, right?

T: Yeah, there is.

Kami: If you stop cars and have a bus instead or something, you could build loads of hospitals/sick bays.

T: I think thats a good idea.

J: Me too.

Kami: It would be really effective.

J: Well, testing is a problem at the moment, the number of tests..well, you can't get tested at the moment.

T: Thats right.

K: Some countries are doing drive-thru testing aren't they?

J: Yes. I can't help feeling Japan's approach is a bit muddled.

K: Hmm, but the number of people dying is under control right?

J: Right, yes.

T: Well, Japan's insurace system works really well, we are kind of blessed, medically speaking.  But in America, Tamiflu or such costs 25,000 yen.

J: Thats right.

T: So in America, theres people who want to go to hospital, but can't.

J: The cost of hospitals over there is really tough! So if you look at it from that perspective, it might be ok here....Still, the time for the Olympic judges to decide about a postponment is gradually nearing...I feel like its gonna be 'No more waiting!'.

Kami: But, no matter what happens, the olympics probably won't be postponed, right?

J: Yeh, I don't think it will be postponed.

Kami: If they push ahead with it, the athletes will come won't they?

J: Yep

Kami: Professional soccer players and other really rich athletes won't come though. So it will only be athletes who really place value on getting the gold medal, they'll risk catching corona for it, so i think it can be done. Spectators won't come though.

J: Well, there will be fewer spectators, yes. But if you do it in the Autumn, America's professional athletes won't be able to take part and America's medal count will decrease, that will be one problem. If America's medal count decreases, American TV ratings will fall, and if you think about that, it makes me think they will push to go ahead with it in the summer.

T: It looks like the golf player Dustin Johnson and other top players have given up on the olympics.

J: Oh right..

T: Its been talked about that (Tiger)Woods could come instead. Woods would be more popular maybe?

J: Is he ok with it?

T: I wonder if he is? *laughing*

K: We don't even know whether he's ok with it or not.

J: I want to know why he would come.

K: Well, yeh, there are gonna be athletes who don't want to come, right?

J: Oh yeh, there will be, though its strange to talk about. Lots of people cancelled thier trips to Japan with the radiation problem after 3/11 (Great Eastern Japan earthquake and tsunami), so when you think about that...the information coming to Japan, and the information coming to the English speaking world is probably a lot different. The media in Japan works in a very local way, but overseas, they have a lot more channels, and alternative media is really taking off. They have info from various sources, so i think there may be some athletes looking at this and deciding not to come.

K: Asian people are facing a bit of discrimination over there too, aren't they?

J: Yes, thats right.

T: Oh, yeah.

K: Even us, when we were in Europe recently, we were stared at a lot for wearing masks.

T: Really?

K: When we went into a bakery, the bread was all laid out like usual, but they were so annoyed at us.

J: Really? Wow! They treated you as if you were infected?

K: Yes, yes. We were only taking prevention measures. But they don't do that over there do they?

J: They don't.

T: Yeh, it seems like they don't.

K: Well, i don't know about now.

J: So, theres also this problem of discrimination developing now. Its possible that chaos might happen, doing the Olympis in this situation. Thats also another perspective. If someone coughs in the stadium or something, trouble might break out.

T: Thats it.

J: Its a little worrying.

Kami: I don't think there will be any spectators though.

J: Well, maybe thats right.

Kami: They havn't said 'no spectators', but there will be hardly anyone there.

K: Yeh, people won't come.

Kami: Not going ahead with the olympics would probably result in less deficit.

J: Perhaps. But its gonna be really hard for those businesses that rely on the crowds.

Kami: Yeh, bars and such.

T: Bars, and the general night life industry that has a lot of customers who are visiting from overseas.

J: There are a lot of stores near the venues who are feeling like this right now, they've already installed big TVs in advance, or prepared English menus and stuff. They were expecting these customers. So its very painful for the people who have invested, to suddenly lose that. Well, anyway, the night life is really quiet at the moment. Was it last week? I went for drinks at Keisei Tateishi.

T: Oh, cheap bars right?

J: Keisei Tateishi is, yeh, cheap bars. Theres loads of popular places there like nabe, or sushi places, its full from mid-afternoon normally. But it was empty! I was shocked!

K: I went to see a friend's fashion exhibition near Shinbashi, but at night, it was packed!

J: Oh really?

K: They were saying, 'Don't take photos of me', they were trying to keep it a secret from thier company that they had been out drinking.

J: Really? *laughing* Well, a lot of companies are doing work from home now, its awkward if you get exposed going out drinking.

K,T: Yes, it is!

K: Well, we don't know when everything will be opened back up, but to everyone watching, please wash your hands, gargle, get good nutrition, boost your immunity..

T: *laughing* Its like a health show!

J: One thing I want to say is, the virus can't infect rock, and music.

K: Right

J: No mistake about that.

K: Ok, lets finish this installment here. See you again next time. Thank you very much.

*1 Couldn't catch this

[nefskullcritique]

This was too long to post individually so. Here are my thoughts about the @SkeletonCavernAnon

to the anon that did that whole Skeleton Cavern post. Everything stated is true. I don’t know who that  “They” they’re referring to, but I have a pretty vague idea who that might be. 

1. Yes they talked shit about other users lmao [i admit i’m also guilty of this while being a mod at the time] Some were [the ones we talk about], actual assholes towards literally everyone in the server but the ones that I felt didn’t deserve it were “lower rank” mods, other users in general that somehow ticks some mod off bc they said something minor and just anyone else really. There were some fair criticisms but it rubs me the wrong way at times when they blatantly insult them or just give us unnecessary private information about them. 

2. causing a dramatic scene about a situation like that sounds like em. Though I don’t think I was present at the time of that specific incident.

3.Psy is regarded as the hellhound for good reason. He was also like that even with other mods, though I might say not as as. It’s hard to have a normal conversation with him unless with others included, but I do have one or two good moments with him. His words can and is harsh, and i feel bad for people who are sensitive to how he phrases things or afraid of how intimidating his lashing outs were. Especially when you put in the fact most people there were minors. 

—————————————————————————-

4.No comment on Avec, She has always been like that. As mod said about an ask regarding her behavior, she enables Zen/Bones’s actions a lot.

5.Ray was chill for the most part; sometimes he may be fussy but he was aight. I know there was a lot of conflict between them and another mod almost weekly. As anon said they were an amazing coder and did some of the bots in the server. I feel like it should’ve been handled differently. But even so there’s an inner hierarchy even in the mod chat (or at least it felt like that) preventing others to voice out reason (or should i say attempt at defending others). yes it’s hell, yes there were too many channels and subsequently blame the users in the server whenever “Too much shit happens/piles up”.

6.I can relate to the last point. I was also a teen when they selected me as mod; It’s 1000 things at once, and even so some of the members had irl things to do [I was dealing with too much irl studies going on], but the server demanded almost 24/7 surveillance, which burned us out at times. I want to say that’s why there’s so many upper mod roles [titles like “medic” or “sentry” if im not mistaken] so they don’t have to monitor everything at once. Looking back, it’s astonishing that almost all the mods [regardless of rank] were minors seemingly being handed and getting themselves into this role to be responsible of, and asking us to keep eyes on the server at ALL TIMES.

I cannot apologize on behalf of the mod team. I just feel distraught I couldn’t do much at the time due to fear, and had been a part of those shit talking sessions. And yes I admit I didn’t really have a vital role as a mod during my time as one. But among all the endless discourse I wake up to every day as one, the days I see other users being lashed out for the most pettiest things, i’m glad the server is deleted. And I’m sorry to those that have to deal with shit that had happened to them in that server even years till today; and i’m glad this account exist to maybe help those people cope and vent out their frustrations.

[sleepyspoonie]

I 100% agree with you that dieting should NOT be the cure all for a medical condition. Maybe im being overly sensitive, maybe i don't understand the context? But when you said dieting doesn't work for anyone, admittedly i got a little taken aback. What do you mean by that?

Hey there! I’m really glad you asked, and I’ve put some stuff together to answer as thoroughly as possible. The facts of the matter are that most people regain all the weight they’ve lost on a diet within the first 3 years, and up to 95% of people regain all that weight loss within 5 years and often gain more than they lost, even if their eating habits didn’t change.

Here are some stats I found regarding different surveys:

“In one study, 3 years after participants concluded a weight loss program, only 12% had kept off at least 75% of the weight they’d lost, while 40% had gained back more weight than they had originally lost (9Trusted Source).

Another study found that 5 years after a group of women lost weight during a 6-month weight loss program, they weighed 7.9 lbs. (3.6 kg) more than their starting weight on average (10Trusted Source).

Yet, another study found that only 19% of people were able to maintain a 10% weight loss for 5 years (11Trusted Source).

It also appears that weight regain occurs regardless of the type of diet used for weight loss, although some diets are linked to less regain than others.”

text taken from here.

Furthermore, weight isn’t strictly tied to health, and while there is a correlative relation between weight and some health risks, there is no direct relation that studies have been able to prove. Here’s some stuff a registered dietician has to say about that:

“Health is not as inextricably linked to weight as we’ve been taught. Yes, there is some correlation between weight and health risks, but there is very little evidence to show that weight causes any health problems. In terms of modifiable risk factors, our weight is not something we can really control or manage – our body will do with it what it will; what we can (somewhat) control is our behaviors around food, movement, stress, sleep, and coping skills. These are ‘actionable’ things that we can do to try to improve our health; weight is not an action (…) so dieting to try to lose weight doesn’t actually help, but causes harm – it causes us to be disconnected from our body’s appetite/satiety cues.”

—Allison Rumsey, MS, RD. Text taken from here.

Furthermore, studies have shown there is a direct relation to dieting, weight cycling, and negative health outcomes.

“An analysis of the benefits and harms of dieting must consider the potential harms of weight cycling. Weight cycling, the repeated loss and regain of weight, is commonly observed in dieters (Brownell & April 2007 ● American Psychologist 229 Rodin, 1994; National Task Force on the Prevention and Treatment of Obesity, 1994).

There is evidence from largescale observational studies that weight cycling is linked to increased all-cause mortality (Blair, Shaten, Brownell, Collins, & Lissner, 1993; Lee & Paffenbarger, 1992) and to increased mortality from cardiovascular disease (Hamm, Shekelle, & Stamler, 1989).

In addition, weight cycling is associated with increased risk for myocardial infarction, stroke, and diabetes (French et al., 1997), increased highdensity lipoprotein cholesterol (Olson et al., 2000), increased systolic and diastolic blood pressure (Kajioka, Tsuzuku, Shimokata, & Sato, 2002), and even suppressed immune function (Shade et al., 2004)”

From this study here, which is a 50-year weight loss study I found via @bigfatscience. 

So, weight cycling negatively impacts your health, and up to 95% of people regain all lost weight within 5 years of going on a diet. Weight loss is inherently harmful, and weight is not a useful tool as a health determinant.

It would also be remiss not to put it out there that western fatphobia, unsurprisingly, has its roots in antiblack racism. There are some good books about it, particularly Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia.

And I think that’s everything I can put together for now. If you want to learn more about intuitive eating and the harm that’s caused by diet culture, here’s some media you can check out.

Blogs: @bigfatscience

Podcasts: Intuitive Bites by Kirsten Ackerman; Love, Food by Julie Duffy Dillon; She’s all Fat, by Sophie Carter-Kahn & April K. Quioh. I also intend to listen to Intuitive Eating for the Culture, by Christyna Johnson, but I’m wrapping up PCOS and Food Peace also by Julie Duffy Dillon, which I recommend anybody who has PCOS give a listen to.

Books: Intuitive Eating by by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole; The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor; Body Respect by Lindo Bacon and Lucy Aphramor; You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar.

I’ll close this off with this graphic:

[thelittlehansy]

EMPATH ?

in an old post where i was analyzing hans family and his personality in a frozen heart i come to the conclusion it could be maybe possible he was an empath and could also explain his behavior in the movie.

So because i m obesss 

by list 😁

by prince hans of the southern isles 😁

and because it seems funny 😁

here it is a list 50 traits of empath to see what can we say about hans being one  based on every information about him in the movie and since we have a whole book who got deeper about his personality also a frozen heart.

first what is an empath :  “ Empaths, or clairsentients (literally, “clear sensing”), absorb the emotional and physical energies of those around them.  Often confused with the term empathy, which is the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes, an empath literally feels the emotion or pain of another”

i put 4 categories :

positive  ,

possible ,

negative ,

we dont know.

1-You’re often told you are “too sensitive” or emotional.

hans family told him that , he is mice , he is weak , Runo and rudi mock him andt tell him he is mommy boy because of it ,he is soft this is the main reason his dad encourage his brothers to bully him wants to “toughen him” he hates violence and brute ( reveal in a frozen heart) it makes think of his father and brothers and he hates it but then it didnt really bother him to left a girl to died ? So not positive but not 100% negative. this is diffuclt ! 

Possible ? 🤨🤨

2-.Overwhelmed In Public Places

i was going to say we dont know but..Then i thought about that scene XD

so funny how much deduction we can make based on so little things.😄😄  on a frozen heart this is hans who propose anna to go see the garden flower so maybe ? but then this is more easily to be alone with someone when you want to seduce that person. also on a frozen heart Hans  wait 20 minutes to enter in room where was throw his mother birthday. but again the main reason is because his brothers are exhausting.

not positive but possible ? maybe ? 

3-You crave solitude, whether you are an introvert or extrovert by nature.

woooo on a frozen heart : 

“ the dock was one of the farthest  points from the westergaard castle which was part of its appeal for hans. his brothers couldn't be bothered to walk all the way down there just to tease him so it gave him the chance for the peace and quiet he craved it also give him to think something most of his brothers frankly couldn’t cared less about” Hans is an extrovert ! check his personality ENFJ. so positive !

4-Other people unload on you, telling you their problems and life stories, even if you have never met.

Looooooooove is an opeeeeeeen dooooooor 

Positive !

5-You can tell the mood of a room instantly upon entering.

does the fact that Hans know what to say to elsa when he enter in the ice castle count ? so not positive but i think this is really possible hans is really good with the emotions and read people this is confirm on a frozen heart  “ hans could read people and he knew elsa wasn't lying”Possible? nothing reject it hans is very good wih feeling and emotions ! 

possible

6-As you drive or walk through a town, your emotions fluctuate depending on the houses you pass.

we dont know 

7-You have an artistic nature.

possible ? even more with his context of family ? i mean i can see hans have an artistic side to deal with his environment. Possible ?

8-You tend to be a “fixer” who always wants to help others improve their lives.

well he wants to be a king ?maybe ? reading a frozen heart something that struck me is that he has a huuuge need to be needed he wants to help and the fact that he is 13th in line and will never have to help no one really is big deal for him. so not positive but i do think this is possible well when he is not comploting  some master mind plan.😄

Possible

9-You have vivid or lucid dreams and often wake up feeling as though you never slept.

dont know !

10-Sometimes you “just know” what someone is about to say or do.

with the fact that hans mirror people in some scene , love is an open door scene and also that he is a very intuitive person i think this is possible.!

Possible

11-You are drawn to healing or holistic professions (medical, spiritual, or religious).

dont know 😂but hans is attract by politic so negative ? 

12-Your life is filled with an array of déjà vu moments, synchronicities, coincidences or patterns.

dont know 

13-You have a strong intolerance for pain.  On the flip side, you have the ability to “check out” of yourself if in an extremely painful situation.

dont know.

14-Watching the news affects you and the stories stick with you for days or years.

there is not news in the southern isles 🤣🤣dont know.

15-Seeing someone in an embarrassing situation physically pains you.

possible ? i m thinking about the beginning of the movie when hans make anna fall on the boat so maybe ? We dont knows but i think this is possible ?

16-You suffer from chronic lower back or shoulder pain.

dont know haha

17-You love to have control over your environment and become uncomfortable, frustrated or even angry (though you may not express it outwardly) when you are unable to.

 if i remember well this is one of the thing that hans do in a froze heart he hates losing control over his environment. so  positive ?

18-You know easily when someone is lying.

“ hans could read people and he knew elsa wasn't lying” dungeon scene a frozen heart what is in hans mind. Positive

19-Similarly, you know in a moment when someone is not to be trusted.

Positive !  also when hans leave arendelle with the guards he tell to one of his man : “ keep an eyes on the duke” “ i dont trust him i think he is trying to undermine me”

20-You can relate effortlessly to situations which you have never experienced.

possible ? 

21-You use physical stimuli as a means of escape (alcohol, drugs, video games, sex, etc.), then feel guilty about escaping.

dont know.

22-You are a passionate person, particularly when it comes to human or animal rights.

hans talk about hunting with his father in his daydream , so now the question is can you hunt and be for animals right ? difficult to say because people for animal rights tend to hate hunting ? But people who hunts are not people against animal right then hans has a really good connection with horse.so honestly i dont know. also he is someone that wants to help but was teach that be human is not a good thing. so i just dont know.

23-The weather strongly affects your emotional state and you have symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Dont know but....now that im thinking about it maybe the eternal winter is the reason of hans betrayal !  like it was summer but the winter do something in his head. XD so

 dont know ! 

24-You have been diagnosed with a mental illness such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder.

i have read a lot about this subject and analyze hans in a frozen heart some people come to the conclusion that hans may be depressed. positive ?

25-You feel most like yourself in nature, away from people or man-made objects.

turning he made his way out of the caslte and toward the sea” a frozen heart .possible ? 

26-Antique stores make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy.

dont know.

27-Some places you have never before been feel like home.

sounds familiar ? Arendelle? 😄😄😄😄 

more seriously maybe ? nothing suggest the contrary so possible but nothing suggest this is positive

Dont know

28-You long to travel and meet new people and cultures.  You consider yourself a free spirit.

We dont know but hans is a free spirit ? he is independent and think differently that his brothers ? so maybe ? Possible ?

29-Owning too many physical items makes you feel weighted down.  Clutter overwhelms you or leaves you feeling constricted or imprisoned.

we dont know

30-You prefer to focus on one task at a time.

Arendelle crown 🤴🤴

Arendelle crown 😵😵🤴🤴

Only arendelle crooown.😵😵😵😵

Possible ? 😅

31-Despite getting enough sleep, you constantly feel fatigued, both physically and mentally.

dont know.

32-You have a history of paranormal experiences (ghost or angel sightings, out of body experiences, etc.).

dont know😂

33-The emotions of your loved ones affects you throughout the day, even if you are physically apart.

Hummm.....he feels empathy for his mother sister in laws because they are ignore by his father and brother...bu we dont dont if it affect him for the day ?

Dont know

I find also  : 

34-“you are rule breaker “ 

hans dont seems to be one at all on the contrary based on the movie and a frozen heart.

Negative ?

35-you have a big heart ? 

he dont seems to have a big heart we knows he like to help but he is also selfish opportunistic.

Maybe hans had a big heart but with his father education. Hans reject his father education but at the same time no. But well i will say

Negative

36 -You sense things that other people miss.

“dont be the monster they fear you are” hans interaction with elsa at the ice castle so i would say positive ?

37-You’re extremely intuitive.

i remember than Hans  in a frozen heart said that he was working with his intuition. I also check Hans type of personality and i found : ENFJ let’s also say that he succeeded into changing his plan throughout the whole movie without losing his goal in mind.  he adapt to the situation easily so well hans is definitely someone very intuitive.

Positive !

38-You need to be near water.

“ turning he made his way out of the castle and toward the sea” a frozen heart .positive

39-You often find yourself absorbing other people’s emotions (both good and bad).

He really seems to absorb everyone emotions when we look at his facial expression Even during the betrayal scene ? he was happy then anna got mad he got mad.( well this is the famous mirror theory on a frozen heart hans say this is something his father told him to manipulate but the only time he used it is for the duke of weselston and a moment we didnt saw on the movie not the others times)

possible ?

40-You get "gut feelings” often (and they’re almost always right).

Its works with hans being intuitive ? So we dont really have evidence , nothing reject it so i wil say this is possible.

41-You often feel other people’s pain.

well his behavior in the movie again suggest this is really possible. i m gonna talk about the scene with anna during the coronation night that could explain why it was so easy to hans to get anna he feel her emotions and how lost and lonely she was.  and the scene when hans calm anna horse with his facial expression. at the ice castle scene hans see that elsa is scared and during the dungeon scene also maybe ? in a frozen heart hans say that he can read really well people elsa wasnt lying and she wanted to go back to her ice castle and let her sister clean the mess.so not positive but possible ? 

Possible ?

43-You constantly seek answers for everything.

dont know

44-You know that your energy can change the atmosphere around you.

Possible ? Anna was sad in on instant hans presence change her mood with the aredelle citizens also ? maybe ? in both the movie and  a frozen heart they were all kind of deseparate but then once hans in charge it does change.

45-You go back and forth between being very expressive and very reclusive.

we dont really know;

46-You sometimes find yourself putting others’ needs before your own.

Well nope not that much 😅 but hans dont even knows what are his needs.in the movie he put his need before anna elsa ,

but lets notice that it does fit with him being a social chameleon he gives the people what they want he makes them comfortable , give them their need in order for them to give to him what he want. Please his family to have their respect is also something he do before knewing

Honestly i dont know what to think ?

47-You always need to know the truth and do not like deceit.

Know the truth ? Nothing say the opposite so possible ? not like deceit ? interesting ! what would hans feel if someone did to him what he did to anna ?

Possible ?

48-You’re a free spirit and find yourself daydreaming often.

based on the movie we dont know , with a frozen heart we learn that hans is see as different as his brothers , he is independent and dont think like them. hans does daydreaming a lot before he decide to go to arendelle he was ( 17 , 20 with his real age)in a frozen heart. at one moment he said to himself that he need to sop daydream all day. so positive ?

49-You’re extremely open-minded and accepting of all people and lifestyles.

we dont really knows. no element at all.

50-You won’t let a problem go until you find a satisfying solution.

at a moment hans said he cant tell the number time he had tried to find a peaceful solution with his brothers and father.

Positive

I admit most of them are difficult to tell and there is a part of subjectivity.

So Result :

Positive : 11

Possible : 16

Negative : 3

We dont know : 19

so there is a lot of thing we dont know a lot of thing that are possible others. several things are positive and also some negative but there are less than positive like 3 ? . 

in conclusion i think that hans being an empath with the amount of traits that are possible and the one that are positive it can be a headcanon. he is brillant with emotions,he knows very well how to read people , if they lied , if they dont lied and feeling others feeling can really explain how easily it was for him.

I think hans be an empath is great for 3 reasons :

1-it give a different vision about the famous miror theory

hans mirror everyone because he feel everyone emotions around him not because he is a psycho/ narcissist. Psycho/narcissist are not the only one who mirror people empath also but anyway hans dont mirror all the time people in the movie and also made several post about the subject on my blog there were a lot thing that hans didnt have with psycho and even more about narcissist and with what we knows about him in a frozen heart he is neither a psychopath or a narcissist but well here the subject is empath.

 2-hans be an empath fix , give a reason to hans very stupid villain mistake

Hans be an empath is a post that i wanted to make since a long time and coincidence one day while i was reading some old hans post on tumblr and i see someone talk about hans be an empath and make a point very interesting.

That maybe hans be an empath is the reasons why he left anna to die ?

One of the big thing that dont make any sense with hans actions is why he didnt patiently wait for anna to freeze to death and go tell the diagnatery that anna was dead without them excepting to check the body.

Also why he was going to decapitate elsa right know but just couldnt stayed with anna to wait he had froze to death (for him elsa was in the dungeon so not even a need to be fast)

The person make the point that anna death would have be very slow and hans would have lost an advantage if he was an empath absorbing all the emotions. if she stay with her thats why he left her to died and he choose also a fast death for elsa.

Wanted to talk about that because it give an interesting explication more than "he left her because the plot ask for it and for the villain to be dumb and lose"🤔😄😄

-To finish hans be empath is realistic

what we learn about hans his description in a frozen heart is that he is the 13th son of a tyranical and narcissist father he live all his life with 11 bullies who pick on him because he is softer. He has live all his live in an environnent of hypervigilence and trauma and suffer from childhood neglect this are ways empath are made in real life with the presence of biological factor. ( trauma dont makes just psychopath/sociopath people *rolled my eyes*😅)

[revol-lover]

i know i have become a shit post queen but this site is a good place to just dump thoughts when i’m too lazy to actually write them down so don’t mind me. also i’m “ok enough”. like i’m not ok-ok but i’m not like badly not ok. 

ok? anyway.

so idk what it is. being raised by emotionally distant parents esp my mom or the depression thats probably also related to that but man i just feel so empty for such long periods of time. empty, or maybe detached is a better word. and just really really restless. and also that when i have good emotions, i dont feel them all that much. idk. sometimes i feel like i’m on the outside looking in on my life. i have a lot of feelings but then at the same time i dont. maybe because i repress a lot then it all builds up and explodes. idk. its awful though. 

i also feel like i have two very distinct sides to me. half of me is like fuck this shit i just want to self destruct but i wont because i’m too responsible to do that and the other half is like wow life is so interesting i am a spirit not a body and i want to be an enlightened being. neither of those sides of me is less me than the other. neither is a farce or anything but its fucking hard for those two sides of me to coexist. the only middle ground, which is probably like 1/3 of the time how i feel, is blah. neutral to absolutely everything.

and i think ive talked about this before but before the whole corona/quarantine thing i was at this extreme level of DONE with feeling isolated in my life, esp as a sahm. done with falling into the trap of believing being a mom was my whole identity (and its definitely a part of it, of course. but i think its unhealthy for moms to think its all we are) like i totally lost myself for a while. my daughters birth being traumatic and her having potential life long complications (and ‘potential’ meaning, her diagnosis is so complicated. theres never going to be a time where we get a real “all clear”. some kids have developed seizures again way down the road, especially at certain ages where kids go through a lot of development.) and then ofc just raising a child with all of that going on, plus normal toddler craziness, plus having a kid who is super hyper and smart and amazing but parenting after having a difficult relationship with your own mother is one of those things that is really hard and not talked about enough. i never feel like im doing enough. i never feel like she likes me.i know thats so stupid but i really am that insecure about my parenting, no matter how hard i try. i just want my child to love me and sometimes toddlers do things that make you feel like crap (ex ‘i dont want u mom i want daddy!’ and i can rationalize it, dad’s the exclusive parent. i’m just here all the time like the furniture. i get it.) and its just a big complicated thing with my emotions. not what i was trying to say tho i got off track.

anyway the isolation thing. so i had a plan. a plan!!! i have this one awesome long time friend, honestly my only friend outside of my husband who knows me like the good bad and ugly, has known me for a very long time, and has been there for me through some really tough shit. he’s like the brother i never had, truly. (i have a biological brother but we dont really talk.) so i talked to him about things i was going through and he’s also been going through a challenging time in his life and he told me he’d help me get out there. we were going to force me to learn to socialize and make friends in “real life” by putting me in those situations. we were going to go to some poetry club. a show downtown. like i was ready. then corona happened. and my already crawling out of my skin isolation got worse because hey we cant do anything now, not even see my one friend. 

so yeah. i was fine in the beginning of all this because i figured, hey by may itll be over! then hey by june! then maybe 4th of july. which has become, my daughter is so excited about her birthday party in august and i dont even know if i can throw her one and i dont know how to deal with this or explain it to her.

i know this is major first world problems and im all over the place and i document this dumb shit because i hope one day i’ll be so far past it and be able to look back and think well wow i made it through 2020  but yeah idk

i think part of it is i’m turning 27 in two weeks and my saturn return thing is just getting so close and i’m starting to see the beginning of shit in my life crumbling underneath me. like i know what i gotta do. i  have to put myself out there. i have to get out of my safety zone. and i have to use my gifts to help others not just sit here drowning in my self pity but obviously its hard to challenge yourself and put yourself out there, literally, during a pandemic. 

and the last point which is just something that boggles my mind about myself that i dont understand. like i’m definitely depressed. i have very bad anxiety too. and even though i can be extremely self pitying and go into like a black hole of sadness, i still dont let myself do bad things. which is good, obviously. but its iike i’ve been recovered from self injury for probably about ten years but some days i am so deep in my shitty feelings or empty feelings that i just want to do it again but i cant. theres something in me that wont let me. and i guess im glad for that, obviously. i guess my life/universe/guardian angel is trying to force me to face shit for real and not just have shitty coping mechanisms but idk. like it was a bad outlet but idk. sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like it did more for me than just writing things out. which is bullshit because it did nothing for me except give me a bunch little permanent reminders of shitty times. but idk. that’s my brain for you. sometimes i want to just let it all go and be a mess in my feelings and not care if i’m ok but then my brain is like nope bitch you cant do that. youre not 17 anymore, get up.

and i know some people would read this (well no - no one would read all this lmao but in a theoretical sense) and think like, oh did you try therapy or oh maybe try meds and the thing is 

therapy - i tried it. i liked the idea of it. bad fit with the therapist tho. didnt like being kicked out after 45 min (which i understand but bitch i need more than that to explain one problem) and it felt weird to be told by her, that she felt like i had a good handle on things. cause i dont really feel that way and i feel like she didnt have much to tell me  in terms of how to idk fix myself besides journaling, which i’ll give her. it helps

meds: i i dont really want to go that route yet because my body is really sensitive to medication. like i dont even take bc or anything like that. however i think ive decided that since its super legal and obtainable i might try pot once we are able to move into our own place. so if anyone did actually read this far and have experience with that (esp w anxiety) please enlighten me. i had some samples of some cbd stuff and it was amazing for my anxiety but it’s way too expensive for me to use consistently.

this has been a very long shit post but i feel better so theres that.