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ideas-on-paper · 2 years ago

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NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a Quick Review - Episode 3

[WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GAME AND ANIME]

[CW: ROBOGORE]

With Episode 3 of the Nier Automata anime being officially out, we're finally getting into territory of the first story mission - a sequence which I was very curious to see adapted. And let me just say: They did a marvelous job with it.

We start off with a scene of 2B and 9S passing through the City Ruins, 9S providing information about the old city along the way. However, they are not alone, but traveling together with the Resistance members they saved in the previous episode. From the get-go, this establishes a way more intimate relationship between our protagonists and the Resistance: In the game, you just kinda pop into the camp from time to time, get your stuff, say "k thanks bye" and take your leave. On the other hand, you get the feeling that there is actual bonding between 2B and 9S and the Resistance members in the anime, which makes their entire interaction feel so much more real.

The Resistance Camp itself also seems to be a lot of better protected: Before they can enter, a lookout from the Resistance has to give his comrades inside the walls the all-clear to open the secret gateway leading into it. (At least that seems a lot more safe than in the game, where any machines could just… y'know, stroll in if they just happen to turn the right corner.)

After the intro, we get to see 9S walking around in the busy Resistance Camp, with 24D, a radio speaker only mentioned in one of the weapon stories, making a cameo appearance as a broadcast moderator. Shortly after, 2B and 9S are addressed by both the weapon merchant and item shop owner from the game, the latter being able to walk with a crutch now (and the guy talked me into getting stuff for him because he can't use his leg; what a scam). While they try their best to advertise their wares and ask if the two YoRHa andoirds have anything to sell, one of the merchants notices 9S' knapsack, asking him what's inside of it. However, 9S only puts his finger in front of his mouth and answers with a secretive grin "I won't tell". (Funnily enough, there is a remark by Yoko Taro that 9S only keeps tissues in his bag; however, while everyone else seems to have interpreted this as "tissue paper", I thought of it as actual, synthetic tissue - you know, for field repairs in case some of his own gets scraped off during battles. To this day, I don't know whether my interpretation is correct - but honestly, if it isn't, this has to be the best misunderstanding ever, and I've no intention to correct it.)

Lily then approaches them and asks 2B and 9S to have a private chat, finally introducing herself to them as the leader of the Resistance (while still absentmindedly thinking about 2B's resemblance to No. 2). Not long after, Jackass makes her entrance, greeting Lily and expressing relief to see her unharmed. Upon noticing 2B and 9S, Lily explains that they're YoRHa units sent by the Council of Humanity - a fact that Jackass is more than a bit ecstatic about.

Meanwhile, up in the Bunker, the Commander gives a speech to the Operators, explaining that they didn't send 2B and 9S down there to assist the Resistance. They deployed them because YoRHa lost connection to their previous contact in the region, and in addition, they want to study the unusual behavior the machines have been displaying lately. Furthermore, due to the risk of a virus infection, the Commander intends to use the Resistance as cannon fodder in a worst case scenario to buy YoRHa more time. (Hearing this, you might wonder whether the Commander was actually aware of the impending infiltration of the server by the machines that happens at the start of Route C.)

We then cut back to Jackass, who excitedly asks 9S if she could dissemble him to see how he ticks - for scientific reasons, of course. When 9S politely refuses (love how they integrated that dialogue option here), Jackass is slightly disappointed, but says she would love to dissect one of their pods instead. However, when the pods comment on her alarming, erratic behavior and recommend terminating her, she gets so annoyed that she gives up on the endeavor.

Finally, they get back to business, with Jackass showing them a holographic map of the desert region and explaining they've been encountering more and more aggressive machines lately. Although Lily has reservations about sending 2B and 9S into the desert because of the danger, she eventually agrees to it, leading to Jackass teaming up with the YoRHa androids and getting them a truck to take them there. (Driver service, wohoo! Now 2B and 9S don't have to walk everywhere by foot 10,000 years in the future.) While the trio hits the road, Lily melancholically turns on the jukebox and reminiscences about the friends she lost in the past.

With the desert theme from the jukebox seamlessly transitioning into the background music, 2B receives a transmission from 6O while riding on the back of the truck, telling her to be careful and pack enough supplies. While 2B thinks her operator worries too much, 9S comments that she's way better than 21O, who is very strict with 9S and always treats him like a child. 2B counters his remark with a curt "That says more about you than about her". (Damn 2B, did you really have to burn that boy so much?)

Finally, they arrive at the entrance to the desert, Jackass detonating a pre-installed bomb to remove the road blockade obstructing their way. When she drives on again, 9S loses his balance from the sudden movement, but 2B catches him just in time so he falls into her arms like a damsel. (The wet dream of any 2B9S shippers, I suppose.) As soon as the vehicle gains speed, the pods (which have been holding onto the rear of the car with their little arms), also announce their disagreement with being left behind, because… for some reason, they just float awkwardly in the air instead of following the car? Seriously? Two support units that can literally fly, and still get lost if you so much as shift up a gear? How useless can you be? (And to think they misused the voice of my baby Legion for this…)

Anyway, they somehow manage to pick them up again, with 2B petting her pod on the back of the car afterwards (because metal boxes need to be consoled with loving caresses, apparently). While driving through the desert, Jackass comments that she's glad the Council of Humanity finally sent help, but 9S admits that this isn't the real reason why they're here. However, before Jackass can respond, they have to stop abruptly on one of the dunes.

Following this, we get our first battle scene of this episode, with 2B and 9S facing a bunch of machines that emerged from the sands. While 2B disposes of the smaller ones with her swift, elegant swordplay, 9S decides to hack into the larger Goliath to take it out. Once again, we see him dive into the familiar grid, but once he pushes forward to the core, he finds a door, and behind it, a three-dimensional memory recording: He is standing on a roof, witnessing a ceremony performed by masked people from above. (From what I know of Nier, I suspect it might be the ancient human inhabitants of the Kingdom of Charade; not that I'm an expert on the lore - and I have no ambition to be, honestly - but I suppose fans of Nier and Drankengard would have a blast right now). Beside 9S, a smaller machine seems to have great fun watching the spectacle, but as soon as it notices 9S, it gets angry and tells him not to disturb. It turns out to be the consciousness of the Goliath he hacked into, and as 9S slices through it with the digital equivalent of his sword, it dissolves into particles of code. Back in the real-life world, the Goliath is rendered immobile by the attack, with 2B dealing the finishing blow.

After disposing of the machines, they find Jackass excitedly examining their remains. However, Jackass quickly catches herself, commending the two YoRHa androids for their work while also picking up their conversation from earlier. She assumes correctly that YoRHa intends to use the Resistance as a mere shield, but promises to not tell Lily or the others anything to leave them some (false) hope. However, they get distracted by a left-over machine jumping out of the sand, which expresses fear at seeing its dead companions and spontaneously decides to flee. Her scientific curiosity being awakened, Jackass is the first to run after it, with 2B and 9S following suit.

We cut right to the three of them arriving at the Desert Apartment Complex, where 9S promptly loses contact to 21O because of an unknown signal disturbing the frequency. Trying to find the source of the signal and following the run-away machine, they go deeper into the ruins.

During the course of their search, they stumble on masses upon masses of dead androids arranged in some kind of morbid display; on some bodies, the outer layer of skin has peeled off, so you can see the metal plating and synthetic flesh underneath. Among the dead androids, they also find the former contact person of YoRHa assigned to the area, who is leaning dead against a pillar. Aside from that, they also find a rather disturbing amalgam of what seems to be a normal machine body and a white, flesh-like substance with ominous eye symbols on it (again, probably another Nier/Drankengard reference hardcore fans will geek out over).

Finally, they arrive in the room where the source of the signal is located, which appears to be a bunch of machines stacked on top of each other rambling seemingly nonsensical phrases. While Jackass is elated to have found such an abundance of "samples" for her studies, 2B notes that the signal is not hostile, with 9S suggesting it might be some sort of grave. However, before they can ponder the matter further, there is a sudden earthquake and the ground gives way beneath them. Jackass manages to save herself with a grappling hook, but the two YoRHa androids lose their footing and get sucked into the quicksand.

Soon, they notice that they've fallen into a large cave, and while 2B and 9S slowly descend with their pods, they come to the shocking realization that the ceiling of the cavern is supported by pillars made of the bodies of machines.

When they land at the bottom, they find a small gathering of machines, which are actually imitating the act of human love making this time! As the people who've read my review of the previous episode might remember, the machines reading instead of trying to enjoy sexy time was my biggest complaint about the previous episode, as it just would've taken away so much of the implications. However, now that they've shown us what the proper scene looks like, all shall be forgiven, and you can consider my previous criticism withdrawn. ;-)

9S, however, is anything but amused by the machines' love-crazed behavior, still convinced that there's no meaning behind their actions. When he draws his weapon, all of the machines have a breakdown and start their famous chant of "This cannot continue". The machines frantically running around, climbing up the pillars to form a huge sphere and the subsequent birth of Adam play out much the same as in the game, with one key difference: When Adam drops to the ground, you can actually see his metal skeleton for a brief moment before his artificial skin grows over it. This is another change I absolutely adore, and as a huge robogore freak, I might have screamed a little in delight. xD

With 9S telling his pod to open fire, the confused Adam asks "Why… fight?" - and even though it should be mandatory, I'm going to take a brief second to say that I was so glad they kept this line. (I was stark raving mad when I found out this was retconned in the novel adaptation.) Although the fight itself is rather short, the special effects (such as Adam's shields) look absolutely spectacular.

Same as in the game, once 2B and 9S manage to kill Adam, Eve grows from the stab wound in his chest, angrily screaming at the androids for killing his brother. However, as opposed to the game, Eve actually puts up quite a fight against 2B and 9S, warping himself away from 2B's attack and trying to counter it with a lightning strike from above (Eve is one hell of an ANGRY BOI ;-) ). Finally, 2B and 9S decide to flee, while Eve remains behind with the body of his dead brother in his arms.

I never believed I would say this, but I think I actually like this scene even better than in the game. Adam and Eve are two of my favorite characters (and tbh half the reason why I picked it up the game in the first place), and I'm so glad they did them justice. Whatever may come after, this scene alone was absolutely worth it.

This time, the outro skit involves puppet 2B and 9S giving a crash course on how to mount wild animals, both of them riding a boar and a moose, respectively. However, 2B doesn't quite have her riding skills under control, and, in the shape of a bowling ball, crashes into a few YoRHa members depicted as pins.

Although we recently received the news that the anime will be put on hold for an undefined time due to production issues during the pandemic, I think it's time for a brief résumé to answer the question "Is the anime worth watching?" If you want my humble opinion - and I'm saying this as someone who isn't the biggest fan of Nier Automata - I'd definitely say yes. The start might be a little rocky and the CGI looks quite horrendous in some places, but it very quickly picks up speed and sprinkles in some interesting changes, some of which actually give the story more depth. Overall, I'd say it's absolutely watchable, no matter whether you're a fan, a newbie, or someone like me who isn't really on board with all the creative decisions of the game. Of course, the big question is how the story will continue from here on, but as it stands now, we have to be a little more patient until then.

#nier automata #nier automata anime #nier automata ver1.1a #anime #anime review

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teecupangel · 2 years ago

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Wondeful additions from @kitsunesongs

at some point they figure out how to make the blocks different colours. still glowing! just coloured. OOOH!!! What if Layla's MC's are in another server - but thanks to a mishap of some sort, KHEMU is in theirs! And when the servers merge - Bayek and Aya get to see their son again.

This is sweet. Would be sad if someone was to sprinkle angst into it…

Not only Khemu. Eivor’s parents are also there in their part of the Gray as well as Kassandra’s entire family.

Of course, this is a Khemu before his death and that’s when they learned that anything that may alter the timeline will be forgotten the moment they leave the Gray so the three of them stay there for as long as they can.

It’s actually Aya who leaves first, telling Bayek that they still have things to do. Bayek stays far longer but he leaves as well after telling Khemu he loves him.

Because of how time seems to stop in the real world while they’re in the Gray, Khemu stops his time by staying there for as long as he can hold his coin then just rubs it again whenever he drops it. Everyone doesn’t say anything about how this is only prolonging the inevitable and they try to make Khemu less lonely whenever his parents are not there.

Annndddd the Templar ‘server’ from @twitcherpated

Oh but you see, Shay is obviously also in a different server--the Templar Server. Which hilariously began populated by each of Altaïr's kills, culminating in Al Mualim. (Basically, anyone who the main characters got a cutscene with ends up there. They forged a very brief but potent connection on the moment of death that sent them to the Grey.)

Aside from some major strife and lack of cooperation, a main difference in how the Templar "server" works is that, well.

They're all dead. And none of them have a "coin" that will let them create blocks. Instead, they figure out, after an interminable stretch, how to "mine" the Grey for blocks of potential matter.

....yeah, they're literally slicing up cubes of Grey. It has the consistency of soft cheese when they cut into it, which is weirdly disturbing. They tried cutting other shapes, whole objects even, but if they cut anything bigger than a 1ft x 1ft cube, in any other shape, it collapses in a pile of goo and gets reabsorbed into the endless Grey. So. Little dark grey cubes is what they have to work with.

There is a lot of animosity, as you might imagine. It has not died down by the time Ezio's kills star appearing on the scene. At least the Templars who Rodrigo killed don't end up there. But everyone mostly builds their own little fortress and glares out at everyone else in paranoia.

....I just realized I opened this with "Shay is on the Templar server" and then promptly made the rule "people who get killed by the MCs go to the Templar server"

and Ratonhnhaké:ton

doesn't

kill Shay

omg that does mean that Haytham is stuck with Charles as his right hand man though

it's more than a man can be expected to bear

My initial idea of a 3/Rogue/Unity sequel involves Ratonhnhaké:ton and Aveline coming to Paris because that’s where Shay has become the Grand Master all in an effort to bring the Paris Rite back into working order. At this point, Arno has just returned from Dead Kings DLC and Ratonhnhaké:ton and Aveline act as his mentors. During the final fight, Arno is actually the one to stab Shay the same way Shay stabbed his father while Shay had been blind with rage and focused on Ratonhnhaké:ton who he believed was at fault for the Templar Order falling apart.

So yeah, Shay definitely got to the Templar ‘server’ because he got assassinated by Arno instead. That seemed more poetic…

By the time Shay gets there, each Templar rites have their own little castle with Al Mualim actually all alone in his little castle because he did betray both the Brotherhood and the Templars so nobody wants him XD

Haytham has taken in the moderate Templars Arno killed while he was looking for de la Serre’s killer though since they’re ‘reasonable’.

Nobody wants to be near the Borgia castle because Cesare throws a lot of temper tantrums. The other Templars from Ezio’s kills usually make their own palazzo near the Borgia castle instead. XD

i was gonna come in here with a Really Cool crossover idea w/ another game i've been playing recently, but then i realized i've only been playing minecraft (other than ac), which then led me to the idea of all the assassin's creed charas on a server together, and then i realized that the Normal, Logical thing would be for it to be a modern au, but the Hilarious and Chaotic option would be if it was, instead, that the server just. magically exists in all time periods. there's been weirder Isu BS before, i'm sure.

Man, can you just imagine this though?

The Gray is a vast empty space. It’s boring.

So when Desmond and Clay got stuck in it because Juno has a sick sense of ‘reward’, that bitch, they’re about to go crazy when they see something pop into existence.

It’s Altaïr just the way he looked when he had gotten married to Maria.

Altaïr had sorta-kinda maybe been fiddling with this little coin-like thing to get away from the mountain of paperwork that needed his attention because he had just been hopping all around the nearby area with his then-sorta-girlfriend-sorta-we’re-not-labeling-it before finally returning to Masyaf. They found the coin in one of the hidden rooms in Alamut. The Assassins there just sent it to ask if maybe Altaïr could figure out if it’s related to the Apple or not.

And Desmond and Clay are like “Isu bullshit?” “(nods) Isu bullshit.”

They try different things out and figure out that Altaïr could create small blocks of white light if he rubs the coin.

And he disappears when he drops the coin.

He visits again a few minutes later and they realize that rubbing the coin in ‘the real world’ transfers him to the Gray and he returns to the real world if he drops it here in the Gray.

They experiment some more. They learn time does not pass if Altaïr stays in the Gray and he can’t take any item with him to the Gray nor can he drop anything he already has.

Altaïr: If that’s true then why am I still wearing my clothes?

Desmond: Isu bullshit.

Altaïr: Are we truly making that the excuse for everything we cannot explain?

Desmond: Clay…

Clay: We believe that your real body isn’t being transferred here, it’s your mind. And it’s your mind that’s telling this place that you need clothes so you get clothes.

Desmond: In other words: Isu Bullshit.

Altaïr: (stares at Desmond for a moment before turning to look at Clay) He’s going to say that every time he thinks it’s too much of a pain to explain things, isn’t he?

Clay/Desmond: Yeah/Yup.

By the time Ezio ‘visits’ the Gray, they’re halfway on their way into making their first ‘home’ because what else are they supposed to do with Altaïr’s block-making coin anyway?

Ezio has so many questions and Desmond just goes “help us with this and we’ll talk”.

By the time Ratonhnhaké:ton gets there, they’ve just finished creating the walls of Monteriggioni and he had to play third vote as to what their main home would look like: Villa Auditore or Masyaf Fortress.

Ratonhnhaké:ton (at this point used to the weirdness because of Juno’s whole ‘drink this drug so we can communicate’ thing with the crystal skull) just shrugs and went “why not just combine the two?”

Edward was pretty sure he was sooooo drunk he was dreaming the first time he got there. So when these weird men ask him what he wanted to build, he went “My ship!” and proceeded to give them a rough description of his ship before dropping his coin because he was SO drunk.

The next time he got there, he was definitely sober and absolutely confused why he needed to build the Jackdaw in what he assumed to be the afterlife or purgatory.

All he got was “We already started it so we’re finishing it. This was your idea, drunk or not. You’re helping!”

When Arno got there, he was greeted by a ‘oh my god my eyes!’ glowing walled town that he can walk into. At the edge of the walled town stood a large fortress.

… Arno is SO confused right now.

When he entered the fortress, there was a large training ring with a castle keep up ahead that leads… to a mansion… with a forest behind it???

… And there was a ship in the middle of it.

The glowing walled town as a forest AND a ship as well???

Arno is so confused and his confusion only grows when he is greeted by a heated debate by two Assassins he was sure were cosplaying as the two great mentors of the Brotherhood (just how drunk was he right now???) about what to build next.

A chill dude sees him and says, “Why don’t we just get the new guy to pick our next project?”

And that is how the Gray starts the development of the courtyard of Versailles on the empty space to the left of the glowing town of…

Desmond: Monteyafport.

Altaïr: We are not calling it that.

Ratonhnhaké:ton: This place doesn’t even have anything from the Davenport Homestead?

Clay: Well, you picked the forest near your village, not Davenport Homestead. That’s on you, buddy.

By the time Evie and Jacob find their way to the Gray, Jacob is pretty sure he’s going to be blind any time soon, and Evie…

Evie lets out a loud squeaking sound and grabbed her brother’s arm so tight he shouts, making everyone look at them.

In the end, they decided to add Big Ben next to the villa. (“And a pub!” “Yes, Jacob. You and Arno can renovate one of the houses in town to be a pub.”)

#look i said i wouldn't add sadness #but if you give me a dead kid #i cannot not make his parents suffer #the gray is a minecraft server #i’m not tagging all the templars they killed #but since they were named…#haytham kenway #shay cormac #charles lee #cesare borgia #assassin's creed

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relaxxattack · 4 years ago

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(Honest question anon) But...while we haven't seen Dream's POV streams, we have seen things happen to him in canon? We can go back to other people's streams and see him change over time, see him care about people and lose them, and in Quackity's streams now we can see his pain and desperation, right? Like...I just don't get why he and he /alone/ gets the 100% Villain treatment, when multiple characters have been pretty awful villains by now too. Just like Quackity, Dream wasn't always THAT bad.

[all of this refers to /rp and is also /nm]

it's more because people lie about reasons dream was good.

like, here's the things i hear that people say that "make dream better":

1. "his friends left him"

he's explained that he intentionally abandoned and cut off his relationships. sapnap in particular was very upset by this

2. "he wanted everyone to get along / he moderated fights in the early server days"

while dream did say he didn't like fighting, half the fights were instigated by him, and the ones that he got involved with to "stop" he often ended up making worse for fun. (this was before lore though so i don't take it seriously, i'm just pointing out he did not make fights better like people claim)

3. "his horse died"

this one is true, but sapnap killed his horse. not tubbo or wilbur or tommy or anyone. if he's motivated by the horse thing, shouldn't sapnap be his sworn enemy?

4. "tommy instigated their fights"

blatantly untrue. dream stole tommy's discs (as revenge for something sapnap did). dream started all his fights with tommy, besides maybe the railway skirmish. speaking of that:

5. "tommy killed dream by hitting him with a train"

dream slash killed himself because he though it was funny, and then he later decanonized it.

6. "l'manberg declared war on him + made him out to be the bad guy"

nope! wilbur was very strict towards his citizens that dream was to only be treated politely, as a "neighbor". he sent dream a peaceful declaration of independence. dream responded by burning down tubbo's house, along with a declaration of war. dream was only ever made to be as bad as he himself acted.

7. "he still cares about sapnap/george"

this one could be true! however, when sapnap came to visit him in prison, dream didn't seem to give a shit besides sending sapnap to manipulate some more minors. which is... ouch. poor sapnap.

8. "he wanted a big happy family"

okay, but his "big happy family" including killing tubbo, putting tommy in prison, and keeping skeppy in a cage, along with stealing every person's prized possessions in order to manipulate them into following his orders. that's not a want for a loving family, that's a want for total control.

conclusion:

people say dream was "nice at the start", but that's not necessarily true. even if we were counting the beginning: the fights at the beginning of the server were more lighthearted, but they were still fights, and dream was involved in a few of them. the other reason they think he was cool was his sort of aborted "redemption arc" from the latter half of season one (pogtopia arc), but cc!dream quickly changed that into him helping out tommy and wilbur just to cause destruction.

before the roleplay, cc!dream did fighting for funny conent. after the roleplay started, c!dream has only ever done villainous things, because it was "fun".

he's never once been actually "good", and although we used to say he could have good motivation, that all died once he admitted that he abused children literally because it was fun.

the only thing we know about him is that he enjoys hurting others, for fun, to play with his food. he might have real reasons, sure! but we haven't seen them yet, even if they do exist. (still looking forward to that pov stream).

meanwhile, quackity by contrast, was being traumatized + abused for a lot of season one and two in clear view of the audience, which is why the audience could see where he was coming from, even if he has some similar actions.

tl;dr: c!dream is given the 100% villain card because he claimed he abused children for the fun of it, and because he's never played the good guy once in the entirety of this roleplay

(if he ever does become sympathetic, i will sympathize! not gonna excuse the child abuse and murder though)

#dream meta #this took forever to write lmaoo please appreciate it... and feel free to use it against twitter stans #my meta #c!dream critcal #critical #this is not really me defending quackity btw just me explaining why dream is viewed this way by the fandom

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redorich · 4 years ago

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"Hello, Mr. Blade," Quackity says.

Techno inwardly groans. He knows that tone of voice; it usually precedes some awful joke, or indicates that Quackity's about to take off all his clothes and attempt to sell cocaine to people again. Possibly both. In a desperate attempt to avoid whatever shitstorm is coming his way, Technoblade resolutely reads his book and pretends he does not hear Quackity. He holds out for a whole five minutes, until Quackity starts autotune-singing about how much he and Techno love doing exceedingly nasty things with each other. When Quackity breaks out the guitar, Techno snaps his book shut.

"What do you want?" the piglin grunts.

Quackity shapeshifts into a cute little yellow duckling, presumably to persuade Techno with the power of cuteness. "Break into MCC with me," he says.

That is such a bad idea on so many levels. Challenging, sure, and very interesting...

"What's in it for me?" he says.

"I want to put a whoopie cushion on Scott's chair," the duckling quacks. "That means we've got to break into the admin room, and you can mess with the admin control panel."

Techno raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You want to break into the most secure room in the most secure event in recent history.”

Quackity nods. “Exactly!”

“To put a whoopie cushion on Scott’s chair.”

Technoblade puts his face in his hand and mourns the collective IQ of the Dream SMP, because surely Quackity lowers it just by breathing. The shapeshifter, still in duck form, hops up into Technoblade’s lap, then turns into a human so he can risk death by daring to suggestively straddle the piglin. He immediately gets shoved onto the ground.

“I’m going to regret this...” Technoblade says. “Let’s do it.”

---

Getting into the MCC server is the easy part. They’re both whitelisted, and it would be a hassle to remove everyone on the whitelist only to add them back later each time there’s another championship, so they have indefinite access. The moderators would surely come up with a way to keep everyone out if they knew about the two Dream SMP men’s plan.

“Do you even know where we’re going?” Quackity complains loudly.

Technoblade slaps a hand over Quackity’s mouth and looks around quickly. The shapeshifter responds by licking Techno’s palm, and Techno retaliates by removing his slobbery hand from Quackity’s face and swatting him upside the head for the childish behavior.

“Be quiet, we don’t know who’s here,” Techno says. “And yes, I know where we’re going. The admin room is below the map. There’s a secret passageway around here somewhere...”

The two sneak underneath the bridge to the arena, locating a lever that opens a hallway inside the main gate. The inside of the hallway is mostly quartz and concrete. Obviously, the map-makers put more effort into the bits that were supposed to be seen.

They reach a fork in the hallway: they can either go left or right. Techno points to the left. When they turn the corner, they come face-to-face with another person. Quackity and Technoblade both freeze in place at the sight of Grian leaning on the door to the admin room, fiddling with his phone. When he hears the two intruders, he looks up, squinting at them from behind the thin frame of his glasses.

Why is he here?! Techno thinks. We’re gonna get in so much trouble!

“I didn’t know either of you was an admin,” Grian says casually.

Technoblade sweats. How does he pretend to be an admin?

"Uh, yeah," he says, wrapping his arm around Quackity in a gesture that's supposed to look friendly but is a bit too tight. "My friend's code is, uh, glitching really hard right now."

On cue, Quackity shapeshifts into a moaning pile of limbs, then a duck, and then his normal state again, flickering between human and limb-pile.

"It's time sensitive, so if you could please let us through," Technoblade continues.

Grian raises a singular eyebrow, totally unimpressed. "Is it, now."

Quackity begins to foam at the mouth. Technoblade hopes that that's a shapeshifting trick and not some weird disease Quackity's picked up. Grian steps to the side, allowing the other two men to pass through the door to the admin control panel room.

As soon as they’re on the other side of the door, Technoblade leans heavily against it, pressing a hand to his his chest and exhaling. “He actually bought it,” the piglin says incredulously. Meanwhile, Quackity waltzes over to Scott’s spinny gamer chair without a care in the world, placing a whoopie cushion on the seat. For good measure, he also duct tapes an air horn to the bottom of the chair, so that when Scott sits down it’ll go off.

“We don’t have all day, man,” Quackity chides. “Go do whatever admin thing it is you’ve got planned.”

Right. He’d forgotten about that. Technoblade boots up the admin control panel. The text glows brightly, most of it in Galactic Standard. It would take too long to bother deciphering it all, not to mention it would overtax Techno’s attention span. The piglin skims the characters on the screen just enough to the point where he can locate “automated_messages.txt”. This file, if he is correct, should be the one that the main script references. If he just alters this one bit right here, then heads over to “display_messages.cpp” to alter a few corresponding lines of code... There!

“I’m done,” he says.

Quackity, who’s been climbing the wall as a hot pink lizard, drops to the floor and comes back up as a human again. “Nice, now we should probably get out of here before that Grian guy realizes we’ve done something. What’d you put in the code, by the way?”

Technoblade stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. He can’t suppress his smirk, though. “Oh, nothing much-- every time a game is chosen, instead of saying the name of the game, the system will say ‘subscribe to Technoblade’.”

Quackity groans, heading to the door. He’s about to say something, but when he opens the door, the two see exactly what they don’t want to see.

Grian is still waiting for them when they exit the room, arms crossed and leaning against the wall casual as you please.

He tilts his head. "You two got that issue sorted out?"

Quackity beams, nodding rapidly and speaking even faster. "Oh yes, I'm completely better now! Technoblade fixed me up; it was difficult and scary but it worked perfectly, I feel so much better now! All he had to do was give me a true love's kiss--"

The shapeshifter is cut off by Techno's elbow digging into his ribs.

Grian nods. "That's good, that's good." A pause. "For the record, code isn't glitchy. It's either buggy or it's corrupted, usually corrupted. You're a really bad liar, Technoblade."

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Techno deadpans. When in doubt, deny all knowledge of the evidence!

“Team with me,” Grian demands. “I want to win the next MCC.”

Quackity immediately agrees, “Deal.” At the Look that Techno strikes him with, he simply shrugs. “Hey, I want in on this too.”

---

Grian, Technoblade, and Quackity team with Philza. They win in a landslide and Technoblade gets banned from MCC for a month. It’s worth it.

#mcyt #mcc #hc x dsmp #grian #technoblade #quackity #philza #ph1lza #me.cpp #me.txt

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bridgeportbritt · 3 years ago

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The Toxicity of Royal Simblr

alright guys. I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to make a post about this or that it would just go away. But, I’m seeing now that this is not the case. As the owner of the Royal Discord Community, I along with others in the community feel like this behind the scenes toxic behavior needs to be addressed because it’s been going on for a while now and a lot of people have been affected.

Please note that the intention is to bring attention to some of the toxic behaviors shown here so those involved will not continue further. We’ve blocked names of some people in the following screenshots to remove their identity as this is not about he said/she said stuff. It’s about bringing light to something that’s been affecting all of us.

This is a long post so be prepared to do some reading if you continue on. The following screenshots were provided to me because I took over the Royal Discord once the previous admins no longer wanted it. The rest is under the cut.

*Before you read on, I’m happy to let you know that a resolution has come since this initial post. Please read this post. Thank you!*

A lot of these messages are disheartening because myself, the other admins/mods, and the community as a whole has worked hard to bring the community back from a place where people honestly felt too scared to join because messages like these were playing in the background and this sentiment seeps into every part of Royal Simblr unfortunately. Due to how things were run previously on top of this toxic underbelly it’s made people hesistant to join in.

There is one thing I’d like to address first as it was directed at myself and I want to own up to anything I have done in this. When I first joined Royal Simblr, I participated in a Royal Sim Pageant. In one of the rounds, derogatory and racist remarks against Asians were made without the participants knowing. I truly regret to have been apart of it. When it was brought to my attention, I worked to correct the damage done with the owners of the pageant. I’m not perfect and don’t claim to be, but I’m always working to be better especially when it comes to correctly representing other cultures as it’s something I take very seriously.

To preface these messages, there are two things to know. There are two seperate servers. Server A) The server I’ve been admin of for a little over a month after the last admin transferred it to me. Server B) A smaller server that was created before Server A and made up a lot of the folks who also created and ran the Server A initially. The other thing is most of these people are not in Server A and haven’t been in over a month.

The conversation you see here started with a member of the community being accused of copying storylines. This person being accused is in Server A and this conversation took place in Server B on July 15, 2021.

The person speaking is saying they left Server A because a person is accused of copying storylines. For some reason, the whole community is then somehow involved in this as the conversation shifts. The person accused of copying happened to be a moderator in Server A which is mentioned.

From what I’ve seen from this server, this is fairly common behaviour and multiple people have been bullied, accused of copying, etc. many stemming from this server.

In this shot, Server A is put into question. Many stating they left because they don’t want to pretend to be positive or show interest in other stories as if they are being forced to. As you can see one person states that this is not the case of the server since I’ve been admin and don’t encourage people to show fake positivity.

However, this person is actually in Server A which I’m guessing is why they decided to sort of defend it. But, then they agree that those running Server A are questionable (ie myself and the other admins/mods).

More of the same, but speaking about the previous ownership of the server when referring to being asked to step down. Also more just toxic talk about the entire Royal simblr community for no reason. This comes from those who have “built the community” and “do so much for it.” But behind closed doors this is what is done.

In this shot, those in Server A are accused of not “making an effort to be anyone’s friend” with those who rarely interact, being nice to each other for clout, and just overall being fake. Although, keep in mind, one of these people (”I stay for the drama”) is in Server A and never expressed any of this to me or other admins. Yet talking trash about us in Server B. Note: the pageant is also brought up here which I’ve addressed above and I believe I was the only admin or moderator apart of the pageant.

Here they make fun of people speaking about their stories and other people encouraging them. Also, just want to point out if anyone ever feels unwelcomed in the server, please reach out to me of the other admins. It’s our goal to make everyone welcome, but we can’t do that if we don’t know. Also, being a jerk to people in another server for no reason isn't really a good way to make friends.

Some general nonsense about the server and those in the server. Again most of these people haven’t been in the server since I took over so sentiments about the status of the server are all from a month ago when those in Server B were in charge of Server A. The “felt like a corporation” and “crickets” is all things we’ve been working to reverse since we’ve taken it over.

In these shots, it’s talked about how so many people are stuck in their Royal stories and don’t plan methodically and decorate and how they take bad screenshots. Basically making fun of everyone else because they aren’t doing things exactly as they are or think they should be done. The community they “built” mind you. Then, they talk about some plan to rejoin Server A and bait people, but not wanting to get caught up so deciding against it.

This gives you a gist of what is happening in the Royal Simblr community. Some of the most beloved and talented among us are spending their time poking fun at everyone else, bullying, and being toxic in a server that is “not exclusive.” Many of my friends have been apart of this and even got swept into the toxicity which shows you the nature of this group. It’s very exclusive and meant to bully and mock others even going as far as making people want leave the community alrogether.

This is not me trying to bash anyone or continue bullying or single out these people specifically as bad people. There are a lot more screenshots that I did not share of just really mean stuff, but we’ve all done messed up stuff. I won't say who said what or even who had this particular conversation because at this point it doesn't matter, but I will address those who are in the server and actively participate in toxic conversations including @royaldevilliers @thesimsroyalfam @wa-royal-tea @royalfamilyofgrimalldi and @markinghamroyals

We all have a vision for the community and we’ve been working towards that and this is NOT it. It’s not about who’s best or being being better than everyone else. It’s supposed to be about community, sharing stories, and overall just having a good time with a fun HOBBY. Others are just taking it too far and too seriously. Things like this ruin it for EVERYONE.

When I took over Server A, no one interacted, people were nervous to join, and it was a place where people didn’t feel welcomed. Now, we just had a random 6 hour server stream yesterday, people are helping people daily and sharing their stories again. This is what we want for the community. But with behavior like this, we will NEVER get there.

To those who are doing this, please look at these nasty messages and see how this does so much harm. The toxic energy you bring does not stop just because it’s in your little bubble.

This is who you want to be known as?

This is how you want to “build a community?”

None of us are perfect and we don’t expect you to be either, but this is just mean especially to folks who haven’t done anything to you and even look up to you.

To those who’ve been affected by this, I’m really sorry. We have to do better if we want this community to continue and be a good place for us all.

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erekiosuncreativeideas · 4 years ago

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Being Human - Chapter 24 (END)

<= Chapter 23

Summary : Snatcher meets familiar people again Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/75085263

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(TW injury)

New chapter today, and it's actually the 24th and the 25th combined. It's 15 pages long, now.

I could only draw a picture for them both, so I supposed it was useless to keep you waiting for nothing. So, yeah, here's the ending of "Being Human". I hope you'll like it !

The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings !

Uh if you’re interested, I post my progress on my chapters on Hatty Fan Time (the AHIT Discord server I’m moderating with two friends), so if you wanna join, go ahead !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 24 : “ Is… Is it over? ”

Snatcher was doing his best to walk down the hallways as quietly as he could. His ankle, while not broken anymore, was still giving him quite a lot of pain, so much that he was wincing at each new step. But he knew this was just temporary and that he needed to ignore the suffering for now: Vanessa was busy, sure, but for how long? She had said she would be baking cookies for him, and he knew very well that this wouldn’t last forever. This was his first and last chance of escaping: if she spotted him trying to leave, the child had no doubt she would lock him up again, perhaps in the cellar once more…- The young Prince shook his head and gulped down with difficulty. This definitely wasn’t something he wanted to think about.

Snatcher could feel and hear the floor creaking under his feet, forcing him to stop several times and listen closely. But thankfully, there was no sound indicating the Queen had heard him. Thank God. The child stopped in front of the door leading to the first floor- oh, he was not reassured, not in the slightest, he had the feeling this would not go well… As he was going to open the door, however, a light sound caught his attention, making him look at the window. A look of confusion crossed the young man’s features: there was nothing there, so what could have made such a nois- but then, his eyes spotted something: a little rock had been thrown onto the glass, making a small sound because of the impact. Detaching himself from the door, Snatcher made a few silent steps to the window… And his face lightened up with shock and surprise as he noticed a form floating above the window- no, two forms, actually.

Moonjumper and the hatted brat !

A feeling of hope grew inside of him, just as a wave of relief washed over him: they were alive! He had saved them! He really had managed to help them!

The child stepped closer to the window and reached for it, trying to open it- but in vain. The frame was deeply frozen, preventing anyone to open it, especially not a kid like him. He quickly stopped, as his attempts at opening it were quite… Noisy. It was getting really dangerous, and if he kept on trying, he was eventually going to alert Vanessa, which was definitely not what he wanted.

Moonjumper and the kid floated closer, a clear look of worry and confusion on their faces. The hatted girl gestured to the lock on the window, but Snatcher replied by shaking his head. It wasn’t locked, just… Frozen. He gave a concerned shrug, indicating he didn’t really know how to help them enter the manor. And, of course, they couldn’t really communicate vocally through the glass, as it was sure to be noticed by his ex. So that wasn’t a solution- until one hit him, making his eyes widen.

The attic.

Driven by a new motivation, the child pointed up, trying to make them understand his idea. The hatted brat seemed rather confused and frowned in reaction, trying to look up without understanding. However, the corpse seemed to get it and explained it to her- or so Snatcher believed. He couldn’t really hear them, so all he could do was to guess. In any case, his counterpart nodded to him, as a way to show him they had understood what he had meant to them. Not long after that, they started to float higher, indeed reaching the attic.

There was his escape plan !

Fueled by a new motivation, especially now that he knew his friends were alive, the former ghost turned away from the window, a new objective in mind. Still doing his best to remain discreet, Snatcher walked the other way, making his way to the attic rather than to the first floor. He was particularly on edge, especially when it came to his own footsteps on the floor, and to the creaking of the parquet floor under his weight. When he reached the door leading upstairs, he kept praying for it to be unlocked, oh, he prayed so much- and when the doorknob actually let itself be lowered, thus opening the door… A huge feeling of relief hit the young Prince one more time.

Oh, thank God…

Looking behind him, just to make sure the Queen hadn’t come upstairs to see if he was still in the nursery… He eventually climbed up the stairs, not forgetting to close the door slowly in his back. This was it, there was no turning back now.

Snatcher soon reached the attic door and opened it, his vision greeted by the sight of an old, forgotten room. But the former ghost didn’t lose any time in looking around- there was no time for that. All he needed to do now, was to find a way to let the other two-

Speaking of the devil, Snatcher spotted their floating silhouette right in front of the central window. However, it was safe to assume than opening any of the window here would be complicated. After all, none of them had locks to begin with, so even if they weren’t as frozen, they couldn’t be opened either way.

That… He hadn’t thought of that, exactly. All he had thought about was to get farther away from Vanessa, which worked in that case. But he still couldn’t leave like this… As for Moonjumper and the hatted brat, the two were inspecting each window, trying to find one that could be opened easily, in vain. Snatcher stepped closer to the central window, the gears in his mind turning to find a solution. This was… Not going the way he wanted to, he had to admit that much. His eyes met the others’, and they both came to the same conclusion.

Leaving the manor this way wouldn’t-

Snatcher’s thoughts were instantly interrupted as a tremor shook him and the room, making him stumble to the wooden floor. He cried in pain as it only hurt his already injured ankle, but before he was even able to realize what was going on, a loud, piercing scream echoed in the whole manor. Immediately, the young Prince’s expression fell, only to be replaced with panic.

Vanessa.

As on cue, the former ghost heard her muffling yelling in the floor below- oh God, she had heard him!

-“Where are you?!” shouted the Queen, her tone clearly showing how livid she was, and the sound of her voice making the house shake even more. Oh no, no, no, no, no! Behind the window, Moonjumper and the brat’s face paled up just like his did, and it was obvious they had heard her too. Oh, crap, no, he needed to be out of here!

Not thinking anymore, the child ran to the window, pounding on it as hard he could, feeling dread spreading inside of him as he could hear Vanessa’s furious steps coming closer and closer.

-“Get me out of here!” he yelled through the glass, to his friends on the other side, fear more and more audible in his voice than ever: “Help me!” Tears started to fill his eyes, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he was in a child’s body or if it was because he was genuinely terrified.

Behind the glass, Moonjumper seemed to be just as scared as him, and was scratching at the glass, even pounding on it all while still holding the hatted kid. The latter seemed to be more than nervous, looking for a solution too, until… Her face lit up, as if she just had had an epiphany. The young Prince saw her shouting something at the corpse, pointing at the window at the same time. What was she suggesting? But as he was asking himself that question, Snatcher saw the two of them floating away from the window- no, no, no! They weren’t leaving him here, weren’t they ?! They couldn’t do that, they couldn’t abandon him!

-“Come back!!” he yelled, and now tears were rolling down his cheeks, sobs cutting his breathing short: “Don’t leave me here!” He pounded on the glass harder, despair filling him whole. No, this couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be happening!

His cries intensified as Vanessa’s steps could be heard just behind the door, and suddenly, he froze. The footsteps had stopped. He looked back at the door in utter terror and saw the door slowly opening, a claw being the first thing he saw coming out of it.

-“I told you…” her tone was low and threatening, and the child span around, horrified. Oh no, no, no- : “… That there would be consequences…” And little by little, the old Queen’s body appeared in the room, her dark aura even more visible than ever, her claws sharper, and her eyes murderous.

Oh no, he was going to die, he was so going to die, he-

-“Snatcher!” The former ghost’s terrified inner-rambling was put to an end as he heard his name being called out behind him, and he glanced back, recognizing the brat’s voice- didn’t they leave, though…? However, his eyes widened as he saw the hat-wearing child being carried by Moonjumper on his shoulders, both at a distance from the window, and what caught his attention was… That she was not wearing her usual hat.

She was wearing another one, one that was familiar because he had seen her wearing in his forest, when she was ransacking the tombs in Subcon For- and before his mind had the time to finish that sentence, a glowing potion materialized in the kid’s hand, and she shook it while urging him to move with the other.

The young Prince didn’t waste any more time and ran to the side, hiding behind a nearby crate not to feel the explosion, and he covered his ears. But just before he was able to, the Queen’s voice echoed in the room, giving him chills.

-“I saw you!” she yelled at him, as if she hadn’t noticed the two outside- but it was most likely the case, as her mind seemed to be only focused on him, and only him… Which was not reassuring in the slightest, obviously.

-“Come here this instan-” And then, her shout was cut short by an explosion, and Snatcher just curled up more, crying out in fear as the whole floor shook again and as he heard the loud and deafening sound of the detonation. Glass and wood flew everywhere, shattering and breaking at their impact to the floor. Panicked, the former ghost glanced back at the window that had just been exploded- and his eyes widened as he saw his two friends entering the room through the large hole caused by the explosion.

Another wave of relief hit him once more, contrasting greatly with the spike of fear he had felt earlier- Snatcher felt like his heart was riding a very, very intense roller-coaster. As soon as the hatted child spot him, hidden behind the crate, her expression instantly turned into worry, and she dashed to him, soon placing herself in a position to defend him should Vanessa decide to attack them first. She had taken out her umbrella, ready to fight with all of her might, determination visible on her face. As for Moonjumper, the corpse was summoning countless strings, preparing himself for an imminent fight. His face looked nothing like what Snatcher had seen before, it was full of anger, of bravery, of courage… But also full of fear. His hands were trembling, his eyes were fixed on the Queen, while many memories of Snatcher’s past life seemed to be blinding him, forcing him to relive past moments that weren’t even his in the first place.

And yet Moonjumper was still ready to fight despite this.

-“You…” The Queen’s voice was full of hatred as she recognized the duo she had frozen earlier. Her intonation definitely had an impact on them, as they both faltered for a few moments- and he couldn’t blame them for it.

He knew what it was like to be frozen to death.

-“You… You will not hurt anyone else,” Moonjumper trembling voice echoed in the room, and it was now clear that he was scared to no end, though he was still trying to appear brave. Whether it was bluff or not, Snatcher couldn’t tell… But he really hoped it wasn’t.

-“Yeah, back off!” added the brat, lifting her umbrella as a way to show she was not kidding. Then again, the former spirit couldn’t help but wonder if they really had a chance against someone who had already frozen them all at least once.

Vanessa glared at them, her eyes glancing to each other, as if she were trying to determine who, out of the trio, was the biggest threat to her. And, unsurprisingly… Her survival instincts told her to attack Moonjumper first. Screaming in absolute anger, she stomped her feet on the wooden floor, summoning ice all around her and, more precisely, a series of ice stalagmites which she quickly sent to her enemy’s direction.

-“Moonjumper!” yelled Snatcher, extending his hand to the corpse, only to be held back by the hatted brat, preventing him from getting himself hurt. Fortunately, the body-stealing spirit had been expecting her to target him first, and dodged her attack, though one of the stalagmites nearly touched him. Thank God it hadn’t. The corpse was quick to react though and counter-attacked, throwing all of the strings he had prepared to her. Taken aback by his sudden retaliation, the Queen was too slow to move before the strings actually caught her, Moonjumper quickly tightening the grip around them.

But this couldn’t be so simple.

Another scream left Vanessa’s mouth and soon enough, she turned the strings into ice, her magic rapidly going up the corpse’s strings and thus soon reaching him- until the hat-wearing brat intervened, hitting the strings with her umbrella, deflecting the spell to her umbrella instead, which she immediately let go of with a surprised cry.

Now that the trio was distracted with the current turn of event, the Queen broke free of the strings holding her, the ice having made them easy to break. No, this was not good, they had to find a solution… But Moonjumper’s strings were their best bet! Fighting hand-to-hand was not possible, all they could do was fighting her from afar, if they didn’t want to end up frozen to death. His eyes looked around, trying to find an idea, something they would be able to use to gain an advantage against that monster. The crates, no, the chandelier, no, too heavy to make it fall down and too large to be useful… And his eyes fell onto the huge gap in the floor and the wall, caused by the previous explosion. His eyes widened, an idea growing in his mind.

Maybe… Maybe they could be able to use that!

In the meantime, the fight had continued, and the corpse was still trying to immobilize her with his strings- but this wasn’t the right option, this wouldn’t work like this! The woman was always managing to break free. And so, as soon as Vanessa’s attention was at the lowest, the young Prince took this as an opportunity to call out to Moonjumper without putting him too much at risk:

-“The- the hole, lead her to the hole!” he shouted, using both of his hands as a way to make his voice louder. The corpse gave him a quick and confused glance, as if he were trying to understand what Snatcher had in mind- until his eyes widened, realization crossing his features. He had gotten the message.

Not wasting any more time, the corpse changed his tactic and instead of trying to keep her trapped and motionless… He tried to pull her closer to the window, floating back more and more. Of course, the Queen was always managing to get free with her powers, but she was still being slowly led to the huge gap in the floor. The corpse was immensely focused on the fight, doing everything he could to avoid her stalagmites- but his focus and his unbelievable calm was winning over Vanessa’s screaming and aggressive attitude- her attacks were having the same patterns, she was not thinking strategically when trying to hit Moonjumper… On the contrary, Snatcher had to admit she was being predictable, and while she couldn’t be kept trapped in the other’s strings for too long, Snatcher’s strategy was working little by little.

When she reached the gap, her eyes had widened, as if she was only understanding now what the trio had in mind. With another deafening scream, Vanessa created an ice path under her feet, like a bridge above everything, above… Nothing, above the void under her feet. No matter how hard Moonjumper was pulling on her, she was not loosing her balance and she kept on creating ice under her feet, although… Now she was looking to escape much more than actually attacking any of them. Her expression was not just livid anymore- no, there were some worry and fear in it too, now.

They had to take the matter in their own hand, now! Moonjumper had already done much more than Snatcher would have asked of him considering his same fear of her- and now it was his time to help.

Ignoring the pain in his ankle, the child dashed to the frozen umbrella the hatted brat had abandoned on the floor, and picked it up, not caring about the ice partially trapping it- no, this didn’t matter. What he was about to do, however… Mattered much, much more.

-“Snatcher!” he heard the little girl calling him out- but he didn’t stop.

No, this had to stop. Now.

Fueled by a new energy and by adrenaline, the former ghost ran onto the ice platform Vanessa had created… And he charged at his ex-lover, holding the umbrella before him and using him as a spear. He felt his borrowed weapon hit something, and he knew it was her- and almost instantly, a cry of fear and surprise left the Queen’s mouth… And the impact made her lose her balance, her body falling backward as she tried to turn back… But it was too late.

He had done it, he had managed to-

But things never, ever were that easy, were they?

-“Snatcher !!” His friends’ voice echoed behind him, panic clearly audible as the woman made a last movement as an attempt to save herself from her fall- she had grabbed Snatcher’s arm and was now taking him with her, bringing him with her for what was going to be her death… And the young Prince’s.

And now, they were both falling.

Snatcher had thought about dying again, multiple times, actually. Being stuck in his this human body definitely had him wonder a lot of things such as “if I die, would I become a ghost again? Would I just go to wherever souls go when no one eats them?” There had been no way to know, and still wasn’t. The doubt actually prevented him from trying to put an end to his human life and see what happened afterwards. However, now… It wasn’t doubt that was making Snatcher fear death. No…

That was the fear of actually dying, mixed with the fear of losing all the sensations he had become accustomed to, even though it took him so long. Sure, there were plenty of unwanted senses he disliked, but… Was it really worth losing all of it? Even the good ones? Like the feeling of a warm shower, the feeling of lying down on a pile of soft pillows, the feeling of tasting things, even bad things…

Did he really want to just not feel anything at all? It had felt so overwhelming when he had recovered all of his senses, but now, the thought of losing everything was… Just as crushing.

And so… That was why Snatcher was terrified, terrified as his body was falling to his demise, taken with Vanessa. Her claws were gripping at his arm tightly, freezing his clothes and skin, making him cry out in pain. His breath quickened while he felt the cold air outside scratching his cheeks from how fast they were falling.

He didn’t want to die…!

The young Prince started to kick her, trying everything he could to do get away from her- but what was the point if they were both going to die by crashing themselves to the ground?

-“Let me go!” he shouted, his voice hysterical and his expression both panicked and livid: “Let-let go of me!”

-“N-no!” retorted the Queen, and the child could see frozen tears leaving her eyes as well as a despaired expression on her face: “I don’t want to!!”

She tried to hold him tighter in her arms, bringing him for a hug- No, no, no, he didn’t want this, he didn’t want this! The kid kept trying to hit her, his fear growing more and more as they both got closer and closer to the ground- he didn’t want to die! Not like this, not anymore!

Snatcher shut his eyes hard, readying himself for the impact, for the death he had wanted so much and yet didn’t want anymore, for the confirmation of whether he’d come back as a ghost or not, this was not fair, this was not fair…!

The young Prince let out a startled scream when he felt something slipped under his arms, pulling him up and abruptly stopping his fall. Snatcher reopened his eyes instantly- Moonjumper! The corpse had hurled himself towards his small counterpart, barely saving him from his death and quickly trying to float back up again or, at the very least, slow down his dangerous fall.

Vanessa, on the other hand, was not being held by anyone and, thus, her claws severely scratching the child’s arms as she attempted to save herself, but her own weight dragged her down. A loud, painful scream left Snatcher lips as he felt his skin being torn open by her long, sharp claws… But soon enough, his eyes saw her falling down, falling to her death, while Moonjumper was now holding him still in the air, floating. And soon enough… A muffled sound echoed up to them, with the Queen crashed into the snow, creating a flurry of snow around her.

-“Are… Are you okay ?!” the corpse managed to say, panic clearly audible in his tone of voice, his eyes inspecting the young prince, and widening when he noticed the gaping wound on the other’s arm: “O-oh, Goodness, we better… Oh, my God…”

Snatcher only replied by a long hiss, feeling the snowflakes falling onto his injury- oh, that hurt so much…! Tears came back in his eyes, stinging the skin in the corners from how cold it was. Blood was leaking from his arm, falling down near where Vanessa’s body lied down. With a very concerned expression, Moonjumper quickly floated lower and lower, in order to bring them back to the ground. A movement in Snatcher’s vision caught the latter’s attention, and he glanced in that direction, his mind clearly in a state of shock, ready to react to the littlest threat- but what he saw was the hat-wearing brat, watching them from the attic. It was a bit hard to see her clearly because of the distance and the blizzard, but the former ghost was almost sure he saw her putting her hand where her heart was, seemingly sighing in relief.

Yeah… Yeah, he could definitely relate to that…

The young Prince jumped when he finally felt the ground under his feet, letting out a startled cry from how shocked he was. Slowly, ever so slowly, Moonjumper loosened his grip on him, only for Snatcher to fall to his knees, unable to stand up in his state. Around him, the snow was starting to get a reddish hue due to the blood falling and leaking on it, staining it.

-“H-hey…!” The corpse tried to help him get back to his feet, in vain. He had just experienced a near-death experience, how could he stand up again so easily?! His eyes looked around and… Noticed a dark spot in the snow.

Vanessa.

The child stared at her, afraid she’d get up again, ready to attack them again, ready to kill them all- But she wasn’t moving.

-“Is… Is it over?” he breathed out, unable to look away from the old Queen, his fear preventing from doing so.

-“I… I think so, yes,” Moonjumper floated lower, down to his level, his voice calmer and yet his nervousness was still very much there.

A loud noise suddenly caught the duo’s attention, making them lift their head to see what it was- and as much as Snatcher had expected quite a lot of things… Seeing the spaceship flying above their head was not one of these things. That… That was where the bow-wearing kid was! She hadn’t been there in the group’s rescue mission, and it made sense that at least someone had to stay in the ship in case things turned sour.

Not so long after that, the front door of the manor opened abruptly, revealing the hatted brat, soon dashing in their direction.

-“Snatcher!” she called out to him, stopping in front of him and almost slipping from how fast she was running. Her eyes noticed his injury and instant worry appeared on her features: “Oh, peck, are you okay?!”

The child took a moment to pull himself together- this was a lot to take in after all.

-“I… I don’t know,” he gasped, and now that the adrenaline was slowly dying down, the pain was getting much, much stronger. Wincing, Snatcher tried to move his arm, only to whine at the sensation. Yeah, that was not happening… And he was bleeding quite a lot too- oh, no, no, this was not good, was it…?

Another weird, high pitched sound caught their attention, this time behind them. The former ghost turned his head back, not knowing what it was- until he saw a beam of light coming from the spaceship to the ground, a silhouette quickly appearing where the light was touching the snow. The other kid! Even though he knew she had to be safe, considering Vanessa had forgotten about her when she brought the young Prince home, he was… Really happy to see her safe, now. However, something else caught his attention.

She was holding the Time Piece again.

Not wasting any more time, the other joined the trio, reacting the exact same way as the rest of the group did at the sight of Snatcher’s injury. Then again… He had no idea how bad it was, but from the look of everyone else, he could guess that it was… Not good.

-“Is… Is she…?” the bow-wearing child pointed to the Queen’s body, still not moving, except for her shadows, carried away by the wind.

-“I… I’m not sure,” Snatcher confessed, still very much afraid to see her getting up- but she wasn’t.

The group remained silent for a moment, staring at what now seemed to be a corpse- And Snatcher couldn’t help but stand up, his stance unstable and his legs trembling both from the blood loss and from how shaken he still was.

-“W-wait, what are you doing?” called out the hatted brat behind him. Moonjumper also tried to get his attention, his tone much more nervous than the little girl’s. The bow-wearing kid, however, remained silent, paralyzed by the fear of what he was trying to do.

Not listening to the group’s advice to sit back down, not to approach Vanessa, as they didn’t know if she was still alive yet- but he didn’t care. And so, silently if not for the sound of his boots in the snow, the young Prince stopped in front of his ex, looking at her with a deep expression of regret on his face. So this was the end of the story, then? The end of a tale that had lasted for many centuries, of a horrifying nightmare that had caused the death of so many people?

Was that it?

The young Prince jumped a bit when the Queen slowly opened her eyes, afraid she would be ready to fight again- but she didn’t move. Instead… She merely smiled at him, that same smile he had loved for years, that same smile from the person he wanted to marry so many years ago- and before he could realize it, his heart started to ache, his mind filled with bitterness.

-“Oh… Hello,” she greeted him, with a tone that was so familiar, much too familiar- and Snatcher’s face hardened, countless of memories blinding him as they came back to him, almost hitting him like a wave.

This was… Not a good ending for him- a good ending would have been to solve their problems before she caused the freezing, would have been to prevent the deaths of everyone- but this? This was a bittersweet ending.

This wasn’t the ending Snatcher wanted, but in the end… This was the only one he could get.

The light in Vanessa’s eyes became dimmer and dimmer as seconds passed and, soon, the former ghost just knew she had passed away, taking with her the threat she had always represented to Subcon Forest. Now… Now, the forest would be safe again.

-“Sna… Snatcher?” the bow wearing child called out to him again, and when he turned back to her… His cheeks started to sting- he was crying now. Tears, countless of them, were rolling down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop, the emotions flooding his mind, so much that it needed to get out somehow- Sobs started to leave his mouth… Before his legs gave up from the blood loss. Before anyone was able to react, the young Prince fell into the snow, mentally and physically exhausted. The group gathered around him, worry and fear visible on their features. Oh.

Was… Was this going to be it? Was this… The end? His end?

His thoughts were cut short when the bow-wearing kid lifted his hand, putting inside it a cold yet familiar object- the Time Piece.

-“Qu-quick!” she urged him, her face deadly pale: “I… I fixed it while you were fighting her! It’ll save you, but you need to break it and wish to become a ghost again!”

-“Hurry!” the hatted brat insisted, trying to hide her worry behind a mask of determination.

Was… Was it really what he wanted? To come back as a ghost, unable to feel a single thing, good or bad? To remain here for eternity and see the world change without him? To take care of a Forest that no longer needed protection? Was this really what he truly, truly wanted? To live in the past forever?

Snatcher winced at the thought.

He… Wasn’t so sure about becoming a ghost again. He had wanted this so much before, but now… Now, something didn’t feel right about this. Was Vanessa’s death the reason for that? Or had he thought this way for a while, just… Being in denial about all of this?

How could he know? What should he do?

-“Wh-what are you waiting for!” urged Moonjumper, and soon, the kids started to shake him lightly, fearing he would lose consciousness from his injuries, if not worse.

All he wanted… All he wanted was…

Slowly, much too slowly for the taste of the group… The former shade lifted the hand holding the Time Piece, ready to smash it to the ground.

-“I wish to be happy,” he murmured, before finally smashing the hourglass down.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-______________________________-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

-“And then, add a bit of salt- yes, just like that!”

The voice of Cooking Cat could be heard in the kitchen of the spaceship, alongside sounds of something cooking in the background, sizzling on a frying pan. Next to her, a young man was standing up, his right hand holding the tool and the left one putting down a cup of salt. Once done, he grabbed the spatula on the nearby counter and started to move the ingredients around inside of the pan, intensifying all the crackling caused by their cooking.

-“Am… Am I doing fine?” he asked, wincing as he was receiving a few splashes, to the point he was tempted to step back- but he knew better than to do that. Cooking Cat seemed to notice his discomfort and came to her friend’s rescue, covering the frying pan with its lid and then lowering the temperature of the gas stove.

The young man couldn’t help but give an awkward and frustrated smile- well, at least, the food wasn’t burnt -yet-, so there was that!

-“You’re improving day after day,” assured the bipedal cat with a warm expression: “You’ll see, someday you won’t even need me anymore to cook for the girls!” she gave him a friendly tap on the back, though perhaps a bit too strong for the thin man, who stumbled a bit.

-“I doubt that,” he answered, before using an familiar sarcastic tone: “I mean, unless you all want me to burn the ship down, of course. That, I can do!”

The Cat snorted and shook her head, though not out of disapproval.

-“You’re underestimating yourself, you know?” she retorted, a bit amused by his previous words: “It’s only been a few months and you’ve made quite a lot of progress. You might not be the best cook in the world right now, but credit where it’s due, now you can make things that are edible!”

-“Oh man, what an improvement! ‘Poisonous’ to ‘barely digestible’! When do I open a restaurant?” he mocked her, but there wasn’t any real animosity, just friendly teasing… To which he received a light punch on the arm:

-“Oh, hush, you,” she snickered: “You know what I mean!”

The two laughed for a bit, and eventually washed their hands, waiting for the food to finish cooking. They kept doing some small talk as they tidied the kitchen a little bit, cleaning and putting back in cupboards all the tools they had needed to prepare the next meal, which smell was slowly invading the room.

Yeah, he had to admit that at least… Well, the smell was good enough to make him hungry, something that hadn’t been possible a few months back.

The duo’s attention was caught by the door opening, revealing the hatted brat, the bow-wearing kid, and Moonjumper, who had started to wear new clothes, clothes that fitted him and his personality much better.

-“Hey, the food’s not ready yet,” the young man taunted them, giving them a shooing gesture: “Come on, away with you!”

-“Can’t we have at a least a bit?” tried to bargain the bow-wearing girl, putting her hands on her stomach as if she hadn’t eaten anything for the past two weeks- and of course, she was imitated by her older friend: “We’re starving!”

-“Yeah, Snatcher, don’t be such a peck-ne-”

-“Language!” the word came from both Cooking Cat and Moonjumper, who floated closer to Snatcher- although it was clear that from the two of them, the bipedal Cat was the one having the more authority. Perhaps she was kind of like a mother-figure, or at least, that’s what the young man couldn’t help but think of her and what her aura seemed like.

-“Fiiine,” grunted the hatted brat, sighing with exaggeration, before giving the cook the look of a nice and innocent kid in dire need of something: “We’re super hungry though,” she repeated and, as on cue, a gurgling sound echoed in the room, causing everyone to stop talking. Eventually, the bow-wearing child giggled with embarrassment and looked away.

-“Y-yeah, we are,” she confirmed, and Cooking Cat just snorted in response. She moved to one of the cupboards and grabbed three plates and silverware, soon handing them to the little, impatient girls.

-“Listen, let’s set the table, and then we’ll eat, alright?” she told them, and it barely took the kids a couple of seconds to grab all of it and running away with it to the living room.

-“Hey, no running with the knifes!” Snatcher called them out, but all he heard were carefree giggles. Ugh. Kids. And yet, he was smiling.

Cooking Cat snorted again, shaking her head with a warm grin, before glancing at the other two :

-“I better go and help them,” she told Snatcher and Moonjumper: “I mean, not that they’re unable to set the table, but. You know.”

-“Yeah, we don’t want any injury, I got it. I’ll take care of the food in the meantime,” he assured, returning her smile with his own, and leaning against one of the kitchen counters. The Cat thanked him and left the room, leaving the young man and the corpse alone. Snatcher soon got back to work and prepared a few crudités for the first course. Somehow, there was some kind of tension in the room, and that was probably due to the fact that Moonjumper hadn’t followed their friend to help the kids. The silence went on for a few more seconds, and… Yeah, there was definitely something.

-“Anything on your mind?” asked the young man casually, glancing at him briefly while he was cutting the vegetables, doing his best to remain focused on the task at hand- not wanting any injury also applied to him. There were quite a few scars on the former Prince’s fingers, due to him not being careful enough while cutting food. After all, not only had he never cooked for a few centuries as a ghost, but he had never really cooked anything while being alive either… Being part of a royal family had its pros and cons after all.

The corpse seemed to be lost in thought, only to jump slightly at Snatcher’s voice, coming back to reality. Moonjumper looked away, scratching his arm in embarrassment:

-“Am I that obvious?” he asked, an awkward smile on his face.

-“Frankly?” the man raised his eyebrow, before giving the other a smug grin: “You have no idea.”

The two snorted, and it did indeed make the tension go away, if only a little. Snatcher knew something was up, and he waited for his friend to make the first step, not wanting to rush anything. If there was anything being human taught him again, it was being patient. Well… Among a lot of other things, of course. And soon enough… This proved to be the right choice, as Moonjumper spoke once more, giving the former Prince a more serious look:

-“Are you… Are you okay?” was his question, and Snatcher was quite taken aback by it, not really expecting something like this. To be fair, he had thought this would be about Subcon, who was now primarily handled by the corpse, though Snatcher did visit quite a lot. This could have also been about the girls or anything like that, really… But him?

Now that was something he hadn’t seen coming.

The young man’s face showed his surprise and confusion, and he quickly put his attention back on his cutting work. No need to cut a finger because he wasn’t attentive enough… Still:

-“Wh- Yeah, I am?” he replied, puzzled by this sudden question: “Why?”

Moonjumper remained silent for a moment, to the point Snatcher thought this conversation would end here- but the other proved him wrong:

-“It’s just that… You wanted to become a ghost again so much, a few months back,” admitted his counterpart with a wince: “And yet, while you had the opportunity to make this happen, you… Didn’t.”

He paused for a few seconds, as if he were looking for the right words, as if he were walking on eggshells- well, it was a figure of speech, given his lack of legs. In any case…

-“I guess, I just… I just wanted to know if you were fine with it.”

Snatcher stopped his cutting work, his stare lost into space. Yeah, he could see where that was coming from… To be fair, his old self would have probably screamed at him, not understanding why he was still a human despite getting the opportunity to change that, despite getting the chance he had waited for since the moment he woke up in that body.

In that body which reminded him of so many things, some good and some… Bad, very bad. And so, he wasn’t really surprised to see this question coming, especially from Moonjumper, who, well… Shared quite a lot of memories with him, even if they still weren’t the same person. If there was anyone in the world knowing him the best, it was the corpse, no doubt about that.

… Which meant quite a lot, being asked this question by his counterpart.

-“You know… If I had gotten the possibility to turn back into what I used to be when it happened…” started Snatcher, referring to the moment he had been turned into a human, months ago: “… Then I’m pretty sure I’d have taken that opportunity without hesitation.”

-“… So what changed?” retorted the other, though there was no judgment in his tone of voice- just pure curiosity and a lot of concerns.

-“I guess…” the man stopped to think, sighing again, before continuing, his face full of regret: “You know, back there, when I… When I almost died,” he managed to say, his body starting to shake from the emotion and from the memories. Snatcher was… Still trying to ignore them, but despite this, he remained haunted by them, haunted by what had happened, by what could have happened to him and to his friends.

The corpse nodded, silently and gently nudging him into talking once more.

-“I… I realized that I… Didn’t really want to die?” he wondered to himself, having done his best not to think about that whole thing until now, and he shrugged, though it was visible that this was clearly upsetting him: “I just… Understood that if I were to die again, even if I came back as a ghost I would just… Not be able to feel anything at all, you know?”

He glanced back to Moonjumper, and he mindlessly started to rub the counter with his hands, as if he were enjoying the sense of touch for the last time, contemplating what could have been if he had indeed died again that day.

-“That kinda scared me,” he admitted, this time with a frown, because being afraid was still something he didn’t like saying: “And after Vanessa’s death, I guess that I felt… Guilty, but also better? As if, there wasn’t that weight on my shoulder anymore, right? And so… So when Bow gave me the Time Piece, I… Hesitated.”

He couldn’t help but scoff at the idea, now.

-“That’s stupid, right?”

Moonjumper seemed surprised by his words, and he titled his head to the side, confused and a little worried:

-“What do you mean?” asked the other, frowning too.

-“That… That I basically let that hourglass decide.”

-“Oh.”

Realization crossed the corpse’s features and he looked away, maybe feeling foolish for that dumb question. But to Snatcher, it wasn’t one, really. A few minutes passed in pure silence, and Snatcher got back to his cutting work. It took a little while before Moonjumper gathered the courage to speak again, visibly concerned for his friend:

-“And so… Are you happy?” he asked, making a reference to the wish Snatcher had made back then, when he was dying. The memory made the young man wince, and he couldn’t help but clench his fists, doing his best not to let his mind getting overwhelmed at the traumatizing recollection.

But this was a good question. Was he happy? Was he, really? It was quite hard to answer… How could he know? His old lives, as a Prince and as a soul-stealing ghost, were so different than this one that it was barely comparable. However… However, he couldn’t deny how miserable he had felt sometimes, as a spirit guarding Subcon Forest. But now…? While he still had nightmares, and while sensations were still a bit strong… Vanessa wasn’t a threat to Subcon and its inhabitants anymore, he felt free for the first time in centuries, not shackled to a place in order to protect it, no- he was really, truly free. Furthermore…

Snatcher had two people to care about now.

-“You know, it’s not so bad,” he eventually replied, a smile starting to appear on the corner of his lips.

-“What is?”

The young man turned his head to his friend, his smile widening, even though his expression still showed some regrets:

-“Being Human.”

The corpse fell silent, but eventually returned his smile, visibly satisfied with the answer. The duo’s attention were brought back to reality as a smell of something burning started to float in the room-

-“Oh fu- peck!” the former prince cursed as he turned off the gas stove, quickly removing the frying pan and putting it on the kitchen counter. His face fell when he noticed the meal had burnt- again. Next to him, Moonjumper was trying his best not to laugh, leading the young man to glare at him. Instantly, the corpse looked away innocently, whistling- ugh, that guy.

Snatcher looked at the burnt meal with frustration, and he rubbed his eyes- Yeah, he was getting tired of himself quite a lot, when it came to cooking. Nonetheless, he took a deep breath, and picked the frying pan again, while Moonjumper, still giggling, grabbed the plates of crudités. Both left the kitchen, and Snatcher lifted the pan for everyone to see, announcing loudly and comically:

-“Soooo, who wants some burnt food?”

A loud series of boo welcomes him, as well as some “again??”s, making him snicker in reaction… But yeah.

Being Human wasn’t so bad.

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Thank you for following me this far, I hope you liked this story ! My next fanfiction, still on AHIT, is a WIP for now. I hope you'll like it too. See you soon !

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0braincells-trainsmasc · 3 years ago

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(Mostly) Demiguy Marcy hcs

Marcy uses he/they pronouns

He gets gender euphoria from eating vegetables, weirdly enough, because his dad used to tell his older sibling about how eating vegetables would make them manlier, as the nutrients would help develop their muscles.

Andrias had Marcy’s head shaved to a buzzcut, so as to make for easier access for the tubes while he had her captured.

Fortunately for Marcy, the buzzcut (after being rescued from the tube and actually being aware/conscious enough to notice it) brought them a bunch of gender euphoria, and that’s how they started questioning their “n-b demigirl” status.

They asked Sasha if her own mental breakdown induced hair cut made her all confident and happy all the time like Marcy’s buzzcut did him, but all they got was a confused “no? I’m just slowly waiting for my hair to grow back out”

Marcy asked Anne about it, if she felt similar about her own accidental buzzcut back in grade 6, to which Anne replied “No, kinda made me dysphoric actually, but dude, that sounds a lot you’re experiencing gender euphoria”

And that’s what started Marcy down the path of questioning

Marcy, post-Amphibia owns a service dog, he only calls “Sparrow” or “Sparrow’s sibling”

Marcy’s the host of a moderately popular Minecraft server

The former chief ranger of the knight guard got into streaming by streaming Roblox and the snes Super Mario World

He likes playing modern games, but they don’t like streaming or recording vids of their gameplay for modern games, unless it’s something like a multiplayer game with their friends. They mostly stick to retro games for recording or streaming

Marcy as a young(er) kid was absolutely obsessed with Grunkle Stan and Ford Pines, because of gender envy, though he wouldn’t realise that until several years later.

They were also absolutely enamoured with the concept of non-binary and/or transmasc Toph for similar reasons.

Steven Universe Future is Marcy’s fav comfort show (next to ATLA) esp post Amphibia. It especially helps that it’s also one of Anne’s comfort shows.

Marcy used to have a discord friend with the username thegoodwitch_Luzura #0110 that they never heard from again after they told him that they were gonna be offline for a bit because they had to go to a summer camp. He wonders what happened to them.

It takes a long while for Marcy to pick out a name for himself post coming out, and before settling upon a name, he was going by a different name every week.

Marcy never actually gets rid of the Night’s “possession”. The Night simply goes dormant for a long time to reflect upon things, and a decade later, when Marcy is in college, they talk things out with Marcy, and decide to try out sharing a body, since the Night doesn’t really have many places to go, and they’ve lowkey grown found of the human and their friends.

The Night will always aggressively correct people who misgender Marcy. They’d throw hands as well, but the human doesn’t like that, + it could damage the human’s body, and they don’t want that. Purely because of selfish reasons, not because they care about Marcy and view him as a sibling ofc (they do.)

Marcy (and the Night when they’re introduced to the concept) heavily identify with voidpunk.

Pants give Marcy a bunch of gender euphoria, esp the more masc they are, but they’re also icky sensory wise, so Marcy is often seen wearing basketball shorts or boxers around the house

#amphibia #marcy wu #marcanne #headcanon #transgender headcanon #trans marcy #hc #tw: misgendering #the night #sasha waybright

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thekisforkeats · 4 years ago

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The Way You Say My Name

Info: The Magnus Archives, JonMartin, rated T for swears. Canon-Compliant. Set immediately post-MAG 22. Martin is trans and Jon is amab non-binary.

CWs: Guilt, self-recrimination, worms (mentioned), arguments, shouting, crying, lying (Martin lying about his CV still), transphobia (mentioned), misgendering (mentioned), child abuse (mention of Martin Blackwood's mother)

Summary: Just after MAG 22, Jon apologizes for his treatment of Martin over the past few months. Or tries to, anyway. It's hard to apologize to someone when you don't understand exactly what it is you've done to upset them.

(Of course, once Jon's apologized and Martin's relaxing, well... that's when Jon will finally notice he actually likes Martin, isn't it? Not that he's going to admit to that, even to himself.)

Shoutout to the Martin Blackwood Lovers Discord Server, without whom I would not have written this up and posted it. ;) Jon’s dialogue was (mostly) written by @marianfuckinghawke.

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“Recording ends.”

Jon reached out and pressed the stop button on the tape recorder. He sighed and looked at his phone. The message from Jane Prentiss was still glowing on the screen. He ran a hand through his short hair, aware he was mussing the grey-streaked black and deciding he didn’t care.

He had listened to Martin’s account of the encounter with Jane Prentiss with trepidation and worry. Now he could feel his face settling into something more drawn with concern. First, concern for his two assistants who were out of the Archive at the moment. Second, concern for Martin. The man had gotten himself into this mess because of Jon’s words. Due diligence. Was he really such a hardass that he had put one of his subordinates in harm’s way? How had he not realized that it might come to this?

Martin sat fidgeting, shifting in his seat, and Jon could feel the other man’s soft brown eyes on him. He had the look of a frightened, cornered animal and it cut Jon to the quick. He had done this. Jon was responsible for the man’s state, and he had to figure out how to make it better.

There was silence for a solid three minutes. Then Martin opened his mouth to say, “So if I’m going to be--”

Jon started speaking at exactly the same time. “So obviously you’re--” He blinked and said, “I’m sorry--”

“No, no, you go,” Martin said, raising his hands and waving them rapidly.

“No. It’s alright… go ahead,” Jon replied at the exact same time, then frowned.

Martin cleared his throat, then seemed to gather his courage. “Well. I was going to say. If I’m going to be staying here, I’ll need… things. Like, uhh, there’s a cot, but I’ll need, like… a toothbrush? I mean, you don’t have a stash of those sitting around, do you?” He chuckled in a self-deprecating manner.

“No, I do not,” Jon replied. “Nor do you have a proper change of clothing… you can hardly wear the same outfit for however long this will take, and you won’t want to sleep in what you’re wearing.” He had a sudden mental image of Martin sleeping naked, and cleared his throat while he shoved it away. Hardly an appropriate thought about a co-worker, even if it wasn’t remotely sexual. “We will have to go out and get such things for you… perhaps after I brief Tim and Sasha on the situation.”

Martin nodded. “There’s a room that might be, umm… did you know one of the rooms that’s filled with boxes is supposed to be the break room?” He gave that self-deprecating laugh again. “‘Course you know that, stupid, what am I saying…” He glanced aside, cheeks flushing. “Umm. Anyway. Umm. It’s bigger than the room you’ve got the cot in? If… if… I’m going to be staying here… I could clean it out… make it livable, maybe, umm, get some snacks and tea and things in, and there’d be more room for extra cots… in case you need somewhere to stay late or… something…” A pause. “Or not! Or just. You know. I’ll just. Have lots of time, so. I can. Clean. The break room.”

Jon did not, in fact, know that they’d had a break room at all. It had been frustrating to have everyone going up to the Admin break room on the ground floor, and he’d said so more than once. No, wait… had someone told him, and had he just told them off about clearing the room out?

He was suddenly horribly aware of how many times he’d griped at Martin for going up there to make tea that he had then gone ahead and drunk. How had he been such a prick to this man?

When Jon had started as Head Archivist, he’d had all sorts of plans for team morale, bonding exercises, and the like. He’d always hated them personally but they were the sort of thing bosses were supposed to do. The trouble was that all of his “how best to run the Archives as a team” ideas had flown right out of his head once he’d gotten down there and found himself at a desk where a woman had maybe died, struggling to record statements, dealing with doggy messes, and that damned persistent feeling of being watched.

Well, now was as good a time as any to start acting the way he should have all along.

“Martin… we will clean the break room. Together. As a group.” He ran his hand through his hair again. He really was going to look a mess. “It is a communal space, it will be a communal job.” He added quickly, “Yes, I know you’ll be here more than the rest of us, but I want us all involved. We need…” He sighed. Time to apologize. “I have been… less supportive of you than I should. And…” He swallowed, aware of the flush rising on his cheeks. “I feel I must apologize. So… I am sorry. But we should do more together, especially given that circumstances have escalated.”

Martin blinked at him for a moment. “You’re… sorry. For… being less… supportive than you should have been.” There was a hard-to-read undercurrent in his tone.

“For being… rude to you… and for punishing you…” Jon replied. “Unjustly.” He gestured to the recorder. “All of this… happened because of your adherence to my instructions…” He frowned. “So. I’m sorry.”

“Well,” Martin snapped, “at least you’re finally realizing that it was… unjust.” He glared at Jon, who suddenly felt pinned to the spot by eyes that were no longer soft but had gone hard as agates.

Jon blinked at Martin. “Are… are you alright?” He was apologizing! He couldn’t be messing that up this badly, could he?

Martin drew a long breath in through his nose. “Yeah,” he said, in a high-pitched, clipped tone. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He went to stand abruptly, pushing away from the desk, and in that same tone, “Well, you’d better get to… briefing people, then. I’ll just… go see how far my paycheck can stretch in Chelsea.” His tone was dripping with bitterness by the end.

Jon stood up. “Martin!” He was vaguely aware of saying it in the same irritated tone he always used for the man’s name, aware that Martin visibly flinched at the word, and tried to moderate his tone. “What is going on? I am apologizing! Is… am I missing something?” He moved around the desk to try to be sure Martin didn’t just leave without finishing the conversation.

“No,” Martin said, stopping while facing the door, tone still a good two octaves above normal. “No, it’s fine. You’re apologizing, and that’s good.” His whole frame was stiff, though, and his tone practically screamed “lying.”

Jon couldn’t read people all that well, but even he could read the signs Martin was giving off. “While your words are clear, your body language says quite otherwise.” He tried to moderate his tone again, but he couldn’t help sounding mildly irritated. He didn’t like being lied to, especially concerning his own actions, and he wasn’t sure what he had done incorrectly in this situation. “Now will you stop and talk to me?”

Martin turned away from the door, faced Jon, jaw set firmly. “What do you want me to say, Jon? Do you want me to… to forgive you? To say ‘oh, sure, you’re sorry, so that makes up for the last six months where you’ve made me want to quit my job every day?’ Am I supposed to… to… just… oh, well, there’s danger, so now you’ve realized I’m an actual person, now you’re going to stop kicking me around, now you’re going to pitch in to help around here as I’m not already the one spending all his time trying to clean up the mess while Tim and Sasha run out to research things so you don’t have to send anyone to double-check my work? Never mind that I’ve been trapped for two weeks, I could’ve been dead and none of you bothered to check on me!”

Martin was all but shouting by the end of the diatribe, every line of him stiff and furious, and Jon was suddenly very aware of the fact that Martin was taller and bigger than he was. He cringed away from Martin, took a step back. “I… I…” He turned away to his desk, grabbed his phone. “Here…” he said, handing it to Martin. “Look!” The phone would solve the problem, if Martin could just see… “There… I… just… please…”

The moment Jon had cringed away Martin had hunched his shoulders, deliberately making himself smaller. Now he was taking long, deep breaths, his expression ashamed. He reached out to take the phone from Jon.

The display was still on the screen of Jon’s message history with Martin. Before the last message from Jane Prentiss was a long list of messages from Jon--numerous messages inquiring about Martin’s health, worried and concerned. He had linked articles about foods to eat when feeling ill, then when he’d realized some of those might be hard for Martin to make alone, found new links that had easier recipes.

There were also, Jon knew, greyed-out deleted messages.

Martin, know that your presence is missed here at the Archives. I am wishing you a quick recovery.

I know it’s sudden, but I find myself missing you. Just thought you should know.

And others, so many others, as Jon had tried to figure out how to pierce the wall built by the texts he’d been getting back from what he now knew was Jane Prentiss, asking to be left alone.

As Jon watched Martin reading the messages he nervously bounced in place, one arm folded over his chest to hold the other. He could feel his skin glowing from embarrassment and he wasn’t even sure why. The blush faded, however, as he watched Martin. Watched the anger fade, and realized what lay underneath. The pain that had been underlying that anger, the way it lifted as Martin read through the message history--it was like a revelation. Martin must have walked in here convinced nobody at his place of employment really cared about him, and Jon realized that that was, indeed, what he must usually think, if something as simple as text messages was making something like hope bloom on his face.

It occurred to Jon, suddenly, that nobody had checked on Martin. For two weeks. No friends, no family. Nobody had even noticed the man was gone.

Jon had to fix this. Somehow. And not by wrapping Martin up in a fierce hug like he very much wanted to; that would not be appreciated from the man’s asshole boss. Even if Martin looked like he really, really needed a hug.

By the time Martin handed the phone back to Jon, his breathing was shaky and unsteady. He dropped back into the chair, like his legs suddenly weren’t working. “S-sorry,” he managed in the barest of whispers. “Sorry.”

“That’s… my line,” Jon said. “I am sorry. I should have said more to make it clear… you are a valued member of this team.” He shook his head, wincing at how… canned that line sounded, but pushed on. “I should have said it at least once. And… I never did. I held you at arm’s length and ostracized you. And… I understand how you felt all that time now…” He sighed. “And… yes, it may have taken this incident to make me realize how terrible a person I’ve been to you since… since you started working here.”

Martin stared down at his hands; Jon could see he was crying, but silently, without sniffling or sobbing. “Why?” he finally managed. He looked up at Jon. “Why? What did I… do? I mean… there was the whole ‘dog’ business at the beginning… what, do you hate dogs that much?” There was a kind of desperation in his tone.”

“No… I mean, sure I’m more of a cat person, but… no… I don’t hate dogs.” Jon frowned. “I… I’ve given that a lot of thought these past two weeks and I think I figured it out.” He sighed. “It wasn’t you I was angry with.” He took a breath. “I was angry at Elias. I like to have a sense of who I work with, to get to know them before I get into anything serious.” Oh, no, wait, that sounded… he hadn’t meant it like… work. He’d meant work! No, he was overthinking that; Martin knew he meant work. He stammered for a moment, though. “It’s… part of who I am… as a person.

Jon took a breath, to steady himself. Focus on the apology. “When Elias… placed you here without telling or consulting me about the selection process, it… felt like a betrayal. I felt that agency over my department had been taken out of my hands. And yes… I know he runs the Institute, but he should have at least consulted me about who is in my department.”

He dropped his head and reached to take a box of tissues from the side of the desk, to slide them towards Martin. An olive branch. “I took out that anger and frustration on you. And that was wrong, I know that now.”

“Not like I wanted to be here either,” Martin mumbled, reaching out for a tissue and wiping at his eyes. It didn’t do much to stop the tears. “I mean, I didn’t even want the damn library job, I j-just…” He stumbled, stammering, “It’s… it’s harder to get a position with a degree in parapsychology than you might think.” He sniffled. “B-but… even on top of that… you and Tim and Sasha, you’re all friends already, you requested them. Even if Tim and Sasha and I get along they don’t really know me, and you… well…” He sighed. “When Elias said I was going to work for Jonathan Sims I just about freaked out. You’ve got a… reputation, you know? I just… I knew it’d be… lonely down here, and it really has been.” There was a furrow between his brows now as he looked at Jon.

Jon frowned. He’d known he had a reputation around the Institute, but he hadn’t thought it was that bad. He took a deep breath; this wasn’t about him right now. “Then let us work on fixing that. Starting now. Like I said, we need to be working together more, improve the… office atmosphere. I… have come to admire your dedication to your work. ‘Due diligence,’ as you put it.”

Martin regarded him quietly for a moment. Then he said, “The thing that really bothers me… I don’t… I don’t think you’d understand.”

Jon frowned. Then, finally, softly, “Try me. You might be surprised.”

Martin swallowed. “I… I’m trans,” he blurted. “Like, I was… I had a girl’s name, when I was younger. Figured out I was a guy when I was a teenager, started hormones, and… well…” He took a deep breath. “My mum’s never approved, you know? She’s always been… difficult, she’s… sometimes she’ll… well, I mean, you know how parents will… say your name, right? Like, when you’ve… disappointed them.”

Jon’s frown deepened. He did not, in fact, know how parents said one’s name, but he could remember his grandmother saying Jonathan in tones of deepest disapproval when he’d come back from wandering off. So he nodded; he understood the feeling, at least.

Martin wiped at his eyes again. “The way she said my name… it made me hate my name. My deadname, I mean. But it… helped me realize I was trans, because when I thought about something else I’d want to be called, I came up with ‘Martin.’ And… and I’m kind of glad sometimes, that she… misgenders me, and refuses to call me Martin, because it means she’ll never, ever say it in that… disappointed tone. I have never regretted that choice, not once, until…”

Martin took in a long, shuddering breath, then straightened himself, looking Jon right in the eye. Like he knew what he was going to say wouldn’t go over well, but he had to say it. “The way you say my name, when you snap at me? It’s exactly like my mother says my deadname. And nobody has ever made me regret that choice. Not… ever.” He swallowed. “Until I met you.”

Jon stared at Martin for a long moment, horrified. He was non-binary himself, and yet he’d never changed his name, never even asked people to call him by different pronouns although he might have preferred it; he’d never had the courage to do so. He’d always been terrified of what people might think of him. Yet here was Martin, strong enough to change himself outwardly despite his mother’s disapproval, strong enough to keep coming in every day to deal with a boss who made him regret the name he’d chosen for himself.

In that moment, Jon felt very much like he did not deserve Martin Blackwood. That the Institute did not deserve Martin Blackwood. They would have to do better, somehow.

Finally he managed, “I’m… I didn’t know. I--” He curled his mouth in disgust. How did one respond to that? Do better? That was only a marginally acceptable platitude. “I will endeavor to change my tone.” He didn’t like that any better, but it was the best he could do.

Jon really, really wanted to offer Martin a hug. The man looked like he needed one. Tim would have offered a hug, workplace hugs could be acceptable… but, no, Jon was Martin’s boss, and Martin had just said how much he hated Jon--because if Jon reminded Martin of the mother who deliberately misgendered him, then he had to hate Jon--and who would want a hug from someone they hated?

There was something he could do to help, though. To pay Martin back, as it were. So he, too, straightened, and said, “Well. You were talking about how far your paycheck will stretch in Chelsea, but I think that will be quite unnecessary. Given that you encountered Jane Prentiss while in the line of duty, as it were, I think we can expense your essentials to the Institute without too much trouble.”

Martin’s eyes widened. “W-wait… won’t that… I mean… won’t Mr. Bouchard be… upset about that?”

Jon actually smirked. “Don’t you worry about Elias; I fully intend to take out my irritation about his habits as a supervisor on him instead of you from here on out.” Not directly, of course, but Elias would be irritated by the entire setup, and some petty part of Jon enjoyed that thought.

Martin was staring at Jon now. “I… I wouldn’t want you to… get in trouble…”

Jon waved a hand. “It’s the least I can do.” He stood. “Let’s get to the shops for toiletries before they close and then we can see about getting some clothing delivered. And, ahh, do you have any… prescriptions you’ll need…?” He was thinking about hormones. “I suppose I could send Tim ‘round to your flat, but I wouldn’t want to put him in danger either…”

Martin stood, hesitating. “I’ll… figure all that out. It’s alright. Really.”

Jon came around the desk to grasp Martin by the arms and look up at him, intently. It was the closest thing to a hug he’d let himself get to. “Martin,” he said, as gently as he could manage, with as much respect as he could manage, “you put yourself in danger because of the way your superiors at this Institute have treated you. Let me at least begin to partly repay that debt. Please.”

Martin was blinking down at him. “Uh… umm… aren’t we having… Mr. Bouchard repay the debt…?”

Jon smiled up at Martin as he dropped his arms. "Ahh, but we’re not going to ask Elias to come help clear out the breakroom. Can you imagine him moving boxes?” He could feel the smile edging into a grin. “His arms would break just from trying to pick one up.”

Martin had started to smile, hesitantly. That was what Jon had been going for; he hadn’t realized how much he actually liked Martin’s smile until he hadn’t been around for two weeks. “I-I mean… you’re not the biggest guy yourself… you might have the same problem.”

“Mmm, fair,” Jon replied, “but I am willing to scrub a floor if I must.”

Martin’s smile widened. “Y-yeah, I can’t imagine… Elias… scrubbing a floor.” He giggled, suddenly. “He probably pays people to do that stuff. He… he’d probably have been hopeless stuck in his flat for two weeks.”

Jon laughed at the mental image of Elias Bouchard stuck in a flat, living off canned meals, a laugh so full he actually threw his head back a bit. “Good lord, Elias, having to live off tinned peaches? Can... you... imagine?”

“H-he’d… probably… start shouting for Rosie.” Martin was giggling so hard he could barely get the words out. He put on a bad posh accent and said, “‘Rosie, why do we have all these tinned peaches? I did not approve this budget!’”

They both dissolved into helpless laughter, both reaching out to the other to hold themselves up. There was a moment, as the laughter waned, that their eyes met, and Jon felt something swoop and flutter in his gut. Martin had such a nice smile, and such a pleasant laugh, and it would be wonderful to have both around more often, and it was making him a little dizzy if he was being honest. When was the last time he’d felt that swoop and flutter? Georgie? Briefly, with Tim?

No, no, that was the laughter and the proximity. That was all. They were bonding over dislike of Elias. That was all.

At least he’d managed to clear the air.

Jon straightened, and kept smiling as he turned toward the door. “Come along, then, Martin,” he said, and again deliberately infused the word with as much respect as he could muster. “Let’s get to the shops.”

Martin nodded. “Thanks for this, Jon,” he said, and oh dear there was another swoop at the way Martin said his name. Had he always said it like that? Had Jon just not noticed? “Really. Thank you.”

Jon turned away to school his expression. This would not do. He was not going to let himself feel any more… swoops for a subordinate. It just wouldn’t do. No matter how nice of a smile he had. He did not have a crush on Martin, because he could not have a crush on Martin, and that was that.

Feeling a little better--it was always a relief, sorting out his emotions--Jon headed out to help Martin get settled into the Archives.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #jon the archivist #martin blackwood #jonmartin #jmart #otp: one way or another together #fanfic #my fanfic #canon tma fic #send help i'm in too deep #i owe the discord server at least two more fics already #GUYS HELP

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rovelae · 3 years ago

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Behind the Scenes of “Hologram”

Today marks exactly one year since I posted arguably my most popular fic. “Hologram” is a postgame Saiouma one-shot about escapism, loneliness, and running away from the past. I put a lot of myself into this fic and I’m blown away by all the love it’s received, not only on AO3 but in Discord servers and other social media. All that excitement made me keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d share a (very self-indulgent) behind-the-scenes of sorts about how I wrote it, as well as what I think of the story.

This essay will contain spoilers for the whole fic, so if you’d like to read it first, you can find it here. Of course, if the tags scare you off, that’s valid, but you might want to skip this post too since I’ll be quoting it throughout (so, just to be safe, expect the warnings I’ve posted on AO3 to apply here too).

If you’re a Lorde fan you’ll recognize the lyrics in the fic summary – “Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true,” from “Buzzcut Season.” The inspiration for this fic came to me while I was on my way to an early shift at work, and I needed a good song in my head to give me the will to live for the next eight hours. Not sure why I chose that song in particular, but maybe part of it is because I like imagining stories to go along with the songs I listen to, like AMVs playing in my head, and I’d never been able to pin down exactly what this song reminded me of.

The mood of the music is really what compelled me – there’s something lonely about it, and the lyrics sound like the singer’s trying to convince herself that everything’s okay even when all evidence points otherwise. There are “explosions on TV”, and “The men up on the news / They try to tell us all that we will lose,” but “we live beside the pool / Where everything is good.” Despite everything going wrong, despite the notes of fear creeping into the pre-chorus, the character will “play along… in a hologram with you” and “never go home again.”

From there, it was an easy jump to “postgame Saiou” and that was that.

There’s a cloud of seagulls hovering in the air around him, and a dozen or so more standing just out of reach, staring him down with beady black eyes. Kokichi takes a slice of bread from the loaf he’s holding and tosses it to one of the birds, watches it catch it and stumble under the weight, watches its head bob as it tries to swallow the whole thing at once. It gets remarkably far before four other birds descend on it, shrieking wildly.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he mumbles into his folded arms, wondering if Shuichi would get the reference.

He really wishes Shuichi was here.

Kokichi upends the rest of the loaf of bread onto the sidewalk and laughs at the resulting chaos until his chest aches.

To start off, I wanted to create the same lonely mood from “Buzzcut Season” in Kokichi’s simulation. He’s not exactly trapped there, but he’s refusing to leave, because as long as he’s on the fake Jabberwock Island, he can pretend the killing game never happened. The trade-off to that escapism is that the only people he can talk to are the NPCs, who aren’t complex enough to be remotely interesting to him, and Usami, who… well, tries her best, but is more of an informational / moderation program and can’t offer him what a therapist could.

The only thing Kokichi has to look forward to is Shuichi, who he’s convinced is an extremely lifelike computer program rather than the real thing, because the real Shuichi would definitely hate him for everything that happened during the killing game. He’s so locked into this line of logic that he doesn’t let himself consider that Shuichi has forgiven him – he doesn’t even have a good answer for why the Future Foundation wouldn’t just keep the supposed Shuichi AI on indefinitely, believing it’s their way of baiting him into leaving the simulation.

It’s not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle in the slightest, but Kokichi stubbornly refuses to do anything but wander the islands aimlessly, passing the time with ice cream and feeding seagulls until the next time he can see Shuichi.

He dreams that DICE is here in the simulation with him, smiling and carefree as they explore the weird music venue. One of them has gotten the karaoke machine working, and another found a box of kazoos and maracas in the back room. Kokichi already pities anyone unfortunate enough to walk by the building tonight.

“Not going to sing, Joker?” one of his DICE asks (over the sound of their youngest member shrieking through seven kazoos at once), sitting on the bench next to him.

“Some games are more fun to watch than play,” he answers, leaning back on his hands and sighing.

“Like a killing game.”

The warm dream-atmosphere turns cold then, and Kokichi’s head snaps over to look at him—but his brother is gone and Kaito’s looking back at him instead, blood in his teeth and face ashen pale.

“You... we don’t have to do this, man,” Kaito says, but it’s a lie and they both know it, and he doesn’t want to look behind him because he knows the machine’s looming over him with its unyielding steel and slow slow slow descent—

“You’re not real,” he snaps at dream-Kaito, who doesn’t respond except to lift him up again. “Nothing’s real, none of—PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! DON’T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!”

“Death is more mercy than you deserve,” Kaito says, and Kokichi claws and bites and kicks his way out of Kaito’s grasp like a wild animal, only to end up in front of a prison cell full of—

DICE, his beloved DICE, trapped and hurt and afraid, bloodied and beaten and helpless.

“Why didn’t you save us, boss?” says his second-in-command, clutching the bars with bleeding hands. “Why didn’t you do more? Now we’re all dead and it’s because of you.”

Moments like this are my reference to Buzzcut Season’s pre-chorus, where the not-okay starts to creep into the illusion. Despite Kokichi’s valiant efforts to forget, he’s still dealing with the aftermath of seeing his family hurt and in danger, watching his friends die, orchestrating the deaths of two of them, being killed himself— and then being told every bit of it was made up to entertain an audience who sees nothing wrong with that picture. Running away is not the way to heal from trauma, and one day soon it’s all bound to come crashing down around him.

“Do you know what this … island paradise represents, Kokichi?” [Hinata] asks, and Kokichi’s really not in the mood for a lecture but he continues anyway. “Jabberwock Island … was the setting for the fiftieth season of Danganronpa. The golden anniversary, they called it. It was my season.”

Kokichi hunches over, hugging his arms over his torso and stifiling a scream. He does not want to think about this right now—

“They wanted it to be the best season of all, which, unfortunately for us, meant it was also the bloodiest,” Hinata says. “Twice as many participants, deadly traps hidden across each of the islands— they even changed the way the motives worked, like when they told Fuyuhiko to cut out his own eye so Peko could have a quick death instead of suffering for days.”

“Do I look like your therapist, porcupine-head?” Kokichi hisses. A sharp pain is pounding into his skull, and there’s a bitter, metallic taste at the back of his throat. A taste like poison and blood.

“There was so much going on that the simulation malfunctioned,” Hinata says. “When people died, their Ultimate talents downloaded themselves into me. I’m told that the stress of so many personality grafts came close to liquefying my frontal lobe. I’m lucky I woke up at all… especially considering more than half of the others didn’t.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Kokichi grates out through the static building in his head. If he opens his eyes, will he see the beach or the dull chrome of the machine closing in on him?

“Because I know how much you want to forget about what happened,” Hinata says. “Believe me, I get it.”

….

“These things that happened to us… we can’t erase them, no matter how much we want to. Some things have to be remembered.”

I’d mostly like to leave Hajime’s season up to interpretation, but there are a couple things I wanted to say about it. I imagine Danganronpa is like the Hunger Games in that it’d go all out for big anniversaries. So, there were twice as many participants for the Jabberwock Island beatdown that was probably subtitled “Bloodbath Bay” or something equally appealing. The game’s formula changed from a focus on the mystery and the trials to “look at all these kids massacring each other a la Lord of the Flies,” and since the VR system wasn’t equipped to handle that many people and their deaths, it malfunctioned, giving Hajime way too many Ultimate talents and putting half the cast into comas from which they never woke up.

Viewers either absolutely loved or absolutely hated this season, depending on whether they were DR fans because of the “blood n’ guts” factor or the “mystery and psychological thriller” aspect. Team Danganronpa faced quite a bit of backlash for actually causing the real-life deaths of half its participants, but were able to weasel their way out of serious legal repercussions because of the waivers the participants had signed beforehand (plus a lot of bribery and falling back on their longstanding popularity). So, the cast of Season 50 failed to end the killing game, but helped provide great evidence for the “Danganronpa is morally wrong” argument.

Hajime works as a victim liaison for the Future Foundation and has been trying to take down Danganronpa since he got out of it. He’s like that in a few of my fics, actually; I like the idea of Hajime acting as a big brother of sorts to the V3 cast. It’s especially entertaining to imagine his interactions with Kokichi— though maybe not so much in Hologram, since to Kokichi he’s a representation of the past he’s trying so desperately to forget and the future he refuses to acknowledge.

“SHUT UP!” He launches himself at Hinata, his hands wrapping around the other man’s throat as he uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. “SHUT! UP!”

“Ko— ghk—” Hinata coughs, eyes wide with surprise, but aside from moving his hands up to grip Kokichi’s wrists, he doesn’t seem all that worried about fighting back.

The thought only fuels Kokichi’s rage until he’s choking Hinata so hard his knuckles are white. “If you want me out of this simulation so badly, you can kill me,” he snarls. “I’m never waking up! I’m never leaving, do you UNDERSTAND ME?”

Hinata grimaces, the outline of his avatar flickering, but he still doesn’t struggle, and Kokichi hates him all the more for it, despises him with a seething malice that festers low in his stomach. He wonders distantly if he’d actually kill this man in real life. Or if he’d be able to stop himself, feeling like this.

Kokichi’s breakdown here is more out of fear than anger. Like I mentioned, Kokichi sees Hajime as another piece of what’s hurt him, and no matter how Hajime tries to help, Kokichi will always remember Danganronpa whenever he sees him.

Warm yellow-orange light casts a relaxed, cozy glow over the dining hall. It’s an ambience compounded by the flickering candles on the table, which seems overly idyllic, but Kokichi will let it slide because of the adorable way Shuichi flushed when he noticed them as they sat down. Well, if he’s being honest, everything about Shuichi right now is adorable, from the way his hair keeps falling into his eyes to the way he’s nervously fiddling wth his chopsticks. Kokichi wishes he could keep staring at him forever.

Ah, not… not in a weird way, though, just… because Shuichi’s beautiful, and when Kokichi looks at him he can forget everything bad that’s ever happened, can create some new and brighter world to exist in.

This is an idea I wish I’d had room to explore a bit more in the story— that is, just how far Kokichi will go to pretend everything’s fine. I thought about making him border on delusional, like having him talk to people who aren’t there or forget what’s actually happening around him because he’s so lost in his fiction-within-a-fiction. It would have creeped Shuichi out a whole lot.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much room for that past the plot I’d already nailed down, so I focused on his loneliness and escapism instead. I do touch on it later in this scene, though— the couple paragraphs where he slips into fantasizing about being a phantom thief having a surreptitious meeting with his detective under the not-so-subtle supervision of his DICE. There would have been a lot more of that if I’d gone with the ‘delusion’ stylistic choice, to the point where even the readers would be confused about what’s real. Maybe I’ll look into writing something similar in a future story.

Eventually, Shuichi sets down his bowl and looks away with a little sigh, and Kokichi clenches his teeth because that’s the sigh he does when it’s time for that conversation.

“Um… Kokichi?”

Kokichi’s only response is to exhale the breath he’d been holding in a quiet hiss.

“I-I know you don’t want to, but… but I really need to talk to you about something,” Shuichi says. “Please?”

“My Mr. Detective can talk about whatever he’d like!” Kokichi says with a lilt to his tone that makes it sound more sarcastic than he wants it to. He takes the last bite of curry and wishes that it burns hot enough to hurt.

“It’s about Kaito.”

This more serious part of the date scene is meant to reflect the little bridge in “Buzzcut Season”:

“Cola with the burnt-out taste

I’m the one you tell your fears to

There’ll never be enough of us.”

It’s a part of the song that sounds especially bittersweet to me, a bit of self-awareness between the insistence that everything’s okay.

Really all I think I managed was to reference it when Kokichi’s internal dialogue comments on his drink being “so sweet it tastes burnt” and then later not tasting like anything. But hopefully the mood’s still there.

“Tell him… that I have nothing against him,” he says.

“That’s … not a lie?” Shuichi presses.

Kokichi shakes his head idly, still not raising his gaze. “I wanted to wreck the killing game and he wanted to save his friend. We both got what we wanted. I’d say the end more than justifies the means.”

Was that a lie?

(I don’t want to die Shuichi I’m sorry I’m sorry save me Shuichi please I’m sorry ithurtsmakeitstop—)

His fingers tighten into clawlike shapes, nails digging sharply into his forearms.

I really don’t think Kokichi would have anything against Kaito, even if here he’s not being completely honest with how much he’s affected by what happened. It wouldn’t make sense to him to hate Kaito for something he himself proposed, but I think there’d still be a subconscious barrier between them. Too much history.

“Don’t go, Shuichi, I’m so sorry, I— that was so dumb, what I said, please don’t be sad anymore.” He’s not sure if he can’t breathe because of the exertion of running or because of the hysteria boiling over in his head. “Please don’t go, I didn’t mean to hurt you— please don’t leave, Shuichi, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Kokichi….” Shuichi’s tone is strange, soft and pitying, like he sees something Kokichi doesn’t, and he shakes his head slowly as more tears follow the paths of the others.

Kokichi goes to his knees, ready to grovel if that’s what it takes, but Shuichi follows him down, closing his other hand over Kokichi’s, and then they’re both crying and he doesn’t know why, and all he can do is repeat a mantra of I’m sorry and hold on as tight as he can.

It’s horrible. Shuichi’s horrible. Shuichi’s wonderful, and kind and lovely and perfect and Kokichi hates him, Kokichi adores him, and it doesn’t matter because Shuichi’s not actually here but Kokichi doesn’t want to be alone, just let me pretend some more, please, please let me have this—

“I’ll… I’ll stay,” Shuichi says at last. “I can stay a while longer.”

You shouldn’t, Kokichi wants to say, but his mouth won’t obey him. You shouldn’t stay if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve having you here. I’m not worth your mercy.

But there on the bridge, crying tears of relief, he soaks up as much mercy as he can get and hopes it’s enough to drown him.

I wanted to create a contrast between them that highlights just how the isolation and trauma Kokichi’s experiencing has affected him. He has an almost unhealthy reliance on Shuichi as “the only thing that makes this world bearable,” and panics when faced with the prospect of being alone again so soon. Part of why Shuichi’s crying is because he’s realized the extent of Kokichi’s desperation. It’s not that he thinks Kokichi’s apology is insincere, but that he’s hardly heard him apologize for anything before, so Kokichi going this far has him realizing how bad things really are.

The door rumbles and slides open when they approach, revealing the bright light of the log-out point that took Shuichi away every time, that would wake Kokichi up in his real body if he walked into it. Shuichi stops just a step away from it, biting his lip as if searching for something to say, but before he can find it, Kokichi reaches out to tug at his sleeve.

“Shuichi?” he says, distant as the waves on the beach that he can still hear if he listens closely enough. Shuichi turns back toward him. “Before you go, can I be selfish one more time?”

“Huh…?”

Shuichi doesn’t move when Kokichi steps closer, reaches up to ghost his fingertips over Shuichi’s jaw and around the back of his neck. He lets Kokichi tilt his head downward, lets him hover inches away, close enough to feel their breath mingle in the night air. Kokichi pauses there to give him the chance to pull away. He doesn’t.

So Kokichi closes his eyes and the distance between them.

That last line is a ZEUGMA! It’s a literary device where one word refers to two more in a different way. A popular example is the hyenas’ line “Our teeth and ambitions are bared” from The Lion King. It’s my favorite grammatical trick and I’d love to see more of it in fanfic.

Slowly, he slides his hand down to Shuichi’s shoulder, using it as leverage to push himself away. That hurts even more. He can’t seem to open his eyes, and he feels so weakened, breathless, fragile. Cracked open, hollowed out.

When he finally does open his eyes, Shuichi’s are wide with some mix of astonishment and a dozen other emotions. Kokichi bows his head, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just wanted to know.”

“Kokichi,” Shuichi breathes, like a bullet through his heart.

“Goodbye, Shuichi,” Kokichi says, and shoves him into the light.

Shuichi’s little yelp of surprise cuts off abruptly as he falls through the door, vanishing into the glow, and all too soon, Kokichi’s alone again in a dream that suddenly seems far too vast. Alone, with the faintest taste of Shuichi’s lips still lingering on his own.

And he thinks, It was enough just to know you.

It’s a lie.

Nothing to say here except that this is my favorite scene and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

Fake sun rises over fake ocean, fake seagulls glide through fake sky while fake wind tousles fake palm fronds. Kokichi lies on his stomach in the fake grass and talks to his fake family in the fake notebook. Gives them fake names and runs through everything he remembers about them. Apologizes, over and over, wishes he could hug each of them goodbye one last time. Wonders if it would be more painful to die or to never have existed at all.

He leaves the notebook of his memories on the seat of one of the Ferris wheel cars on the fourth island, because one time he promised them they’d steal the London Eye together.

He buys a can of fake soda from the fake convenience store on the first island and sits on the fake beach watching the fake waves. Wonders when he’d hit the end of the simulation if he started swimming, or if he’d drown first.

White sand, blue sea, bluer sky. Washed out, like an amateur watercolor painting.

He opens the soda can and raises it to his mouth, but … even the thought of drinking it makes him sick to his stomach. He sets it down in the sand and flicks it over, watching the bubbly liquid run down and sink into the sand. The color’s all wrong, like blood streaked against a metal floor.

He walks the fake streets of the fifth island, passing fake skyscrapers and fake commuters and their fake conversations, until he finally stops outside the factory he’s never been able to bring himself to go into. Smells like oil, and metal and machines and he can hear the sounds and he’s immediately back in the hangar, dizzy on adrenaline and desperation and leaning heavily on Kaito so he doesn’t keel over and die then and there. Kaito says something about how maybe he should sit down for a minute, and Kokichi didn’t agree back then but he does now, goes down on all fours and dry heaves.

When his vision solidifies and he can stop gasping for breath, he sits up and presses his back against the factory wall, covering his ears and hiding his face in his knees. Tries to convince himself not to imagine Shuichi’s there with him, holding his hand again, promising everything’s going to be okay.

“I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” or maybe, “Breathe with me, it’ll be over soon. You’re safe now.”

I love you.

He laughs until there’s nothing left in his lungs. He called these little daydreams obsession, before, but now they just seem sick and insane.

I wanted to indicate throughout this scene that Kokichi’s gotten substantially worse. Instead of halfheartedly interacting with the NPCs or finding something to spend time doing, he’s aimlessly wandering the islands, focused on how fake all of it is. Not even talking to his sketches of DICE can make him feel better. The suicidal ideation starts to slip in even if he doesn’t realize it— a fixation on wondering what death is like, purposefully triggering himself by walking by the factory….

The thing I want to talk about most though is the italicized I love you. I left it outside of quotation marks and dialogue tags on purpose because I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who’s saying it. If it’s Kokichi’s line, it’s sudden and almost out of place, like he couldn’t hold back from thinking it anymore. But it could be Shuichi saying it, too. Since it’s outside quotation marks, unlike the previous dream-Shuichi lines, it’s more vague, almost a whisper in Kokichi’s thoughts— like he can barely bring himself to imagine it and even feels guilty doing so, because there’s no way it could possibly be real.

Which do you think?

Eh, I don’t have an answer. When I hear it in my head, they say it at the same time.

“How did you know?” he finally croaks.

Shuichi’s breathing still sounds shaky, too. “Because you said ‘goodbye,’” he says.

Kokichi finally looks up at him in a silent question.

“You never say goodbye,” Shuichi says, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “It’s always….”

“‘See you later,’” Kokichi finishes for him. Despite himself, a tiny huff of astonished laughter escapes him. “I didn’t even know, not until a couple of hours ago. And you figured it all out from one word?”

Shuichi bites his lip at that. “You kissed me,” he says.

Kokichi’s stomach twists and he looks away. “I said I was sorry—”

“No.” Shuichi squeezes his hand into a fist and lets it fall to thump against Kokichi’s chest, like he’s trying to knock some sense into him. “It was so honest, and vulnerable, and… and I know how much you hate showing how you really feel.” Another tiny sob catches in his throat. “And so it felt like … like something you’d do if you weren’t going to s-see me again.”

“Shuichi….” Kokichi trails off as Shuichi muffles his cries in his hand again. He’s so breathtakingly smart. There’s no one else in the world who thinks that way, no one else who could possibly be that attentive and that clever. Not a programmer, not a team of shrinks… how can an AI manage it? How is it that Shuichi always manages to take him by surprise? How can he see straight through him when he least expects it?

Kokichi’s hand reaches up to Shuichi’s cheek. Reverently traces the path of the tears falling down it.

“I wish you were real,” he confesses in a whisper.

Kokichi’s stubborn. So, so stubborn. And he’s not used to being cared about, if the way he does everything by himself is any indication. So it makes sense to me that he’ll refuse to believe anything good can happen to him even in the face of convincing evidence. He’s pretty self-hating for someone so arrogant.

Kokichi’s weak, deep down to his core, weak for this man. Already knows he’d do anything for him, and the thought is terrifying—that one person could have that much power over him, even if he doesn’t realize it.

But what if he has realized it? Couldn’t this all be an elaborate ruse, a lie he knew Kokichi would be so desperate to believe that he wouldn’t bother questioning it?

…Shuichi’s never hurt him, though. Only that one time, when he really deserved it. Shuichi wouldn’t … betray him, even for what he thinks is Kokichi’s own good. They’re… different from each other, that way.

But still….

“I’m so scared, Shuichi.” It’s barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You won’t be.” It’s so hard to be skeptical, lost in his eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, for as long as you want. I won’t let you feel like this anymore.”

Promise me, he wants to blurt out. Promise you’ll stay. Promise me you’ll never leave me, Shuichi, he wants to demand, but that’s wrong, that’s manipulative and selfish and everything he doesn’t want to be for Shuichi anymore.

Shuichi, of course, says it anyway.

“I promise, Kokichi.”

…

“Kiss me again,” he says. “Please?”

Shuichi leans in close, then pauses, his brow furrowing the way it does when he catches him in a lie.

“I’ll kiss you again in the real world,” Shuichi says. “Okay?”

Kokichi shakes his head. “Shuichi, please.” Please, I don’t think I can do this. Please, I don’t want to wake up to a lie. Please, one last kiss for me to remember in case it was all fake.

Shuichi reaches out to tilt his chin up and Kokichi closes his eyes, savoring every second, burning it into his memory.

Shuichi’s soft breath ghosts over his lips.

“Trust me,” he murmurs.

Kokichi’s eyes flutter back open, searching his face. Shifting him around on the white board in his head, seeing what categories he fits into this time. Weird, of course. Suspicious, maybe not. Trustworthy?

Trustworthy….

“I do trust you,” he realizes.

Kokichi’s still hesitant to accept all of this— Shuichi kissing him didn’t magically fix everything. He’ll still doubt all the way to the log-out point, but at least now he realizes that this simulation is only hurting him— that if things are to get better they’re going to have to change, too. He’s got a long way to go before he’s all right, but he’s not going to have to face it alone anymore.

And that’s a wrap!

Once again, I’m really proud of this story, and I feel like I grew as a writer because of it. There are a few things I would change if I wrote it again, but for all its flaws it’s still my baby and I like how it turned out.

Thanks again for all your support for “Hologram,” and thanks even more if you actually waded through all this nonsense of a director’s cut. It’s a huge confidence-boost to think that people liked what I wrote, and even wanted to hear what I had to say about it. If there’s any interest, I’d love to review some of my other fics here, or theorize or brainstorm or whatever else you’re into. (Ask me what Byakuya’s Thing is in my superhero AU, I dare you 😉)

I do have a WIP in my folder of bits and pieces currently titled “boy finally gets that kiss”, and it’s a post-Hologram scene from Shuichi’s point of view to just sorta… tie it all together, have them talk things over again… and kiss, of course. We’ll see if anything comes out of that.

Until next time!

#Rov talks #Hologram #Saiouma #Oumasai #Behind the scenes #Director's cut #Fanfic review

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zeta-in-de-walls · 4 years ago

Text

Okay, in the wake of the L’Manburg war, allow me to get meta for a bit.

Now obviously the war, and the SMP server in general, are just for content. The stakes are all fictional - nebulous things like freedom on a minecraft server, sentimental value placed on music discs and all that nonsense.

Bearing that in mind, I want to discuss how it played out.

Who were the best players? It’s clear who were the most powerful and dangerous as enemies - Dream, George, Sapnap and Punz. (I’m leaving aside Eret for the moment btw) They all had full netherite armour, planted TNT traps and planned betrayals and ambushes to win the war. They had the upperhand throughout. Meanwhile the other side felt weak and ill-prepared and did very little damage to any of their opponents.

But you know, being more powerful doesn’t actually make for much content on its own. What makes good content? A good narrative filled with drama, tension and excitement. In those terms, we’re looking at Tommy and Wilbur carrying the server with this war.

The second they said independence and made some grand speeches, there were stakes. Instead of the server being a somewhat peaceful building simulator, it was in a state of conflict. Alliances were created, flags were made, Hamilton and Revolutionary war references were heard, matching skins and all that were being created. Putting great significance into stuff like a patch of tilled soil, suggesting carrying sticks instead of weapons and wearing no armour but fighting with words - that’s the sort of stuff that made this whole scenario work. Without it, this dispute wouldn’t have been able to call itself a war. They even make ridiculous stuff sound convincing - just the idea of calling L’Manberg its own separate server that happens to be inside another server with the running costs still being paid by Dream. It’s crazy but it works.

And my goodness, did they have their work cut out for them.

You see, I feel like Dream and co. weren’t really playing along. They heard ‘war!’ and thought - let’s win. Let’s absolutely crush the enemy! No mercy.

Now playing the villain can be cool, sure. And it kinda worked here. But only just. Some of their actions definitely irked me.

See, there are kind of unspoken agreements in stuff like letting people prepare, not attacking too early, that sort of thing. You tell everyone that the war’s gonna take place at 7pm and sure enough it does. And there’s Dream’s server rules: No stealing and no griefing. These rules do get bent in the middle of an ongoing battle - eg battles often involve a lot of placing and breaking blocks and when you’re low on stuff, trying to run to a nearby chest to grab some last minute supplies is going to happen (and later after the battle’s done you’ll probably get yelled at a little before making up) - but generally they are upheld. Especially when others are offstream and you aren’t in the middle of something.

‘Ah but it was war - rules can be broken!’ one might argue. Yeah, no, this is entertainment. You don’t start early because you’re going to ruin the stream and make the content worse - and the whole point of the war is to make good content. Like, when WIlbur’s stream died - they asked for a pause so WIlbur could sort out technical difficulties before continuing.

Yeah so Dream and Sapnap basically broke all the rules in order to win. Fundy and Tommy put up insulting signs in different languages. Funny content. Dream and Sapnap burned Tubbo’s house to the ground. Err... okay that’s a bit excessive but we can make it work. No mercy, ha.

So Tommy asked Tubbo to prep for the war. Tubbo agreed and got to work to try and balance the already uneven odds. At this point, the war’s in a day and all of Dream’s side has full netherite and none of L’Manburg do save Eret. Time is short but that just makes it all the more exciting.

So Tubbo uses villagers and trading, stealing a frugal amount to get himself started before really getting into it and grinding for diamond armour and makes nine stacks of emeralds - enough to place some high level enchants and even the odds a little and make the fight interesting.

While Tubbo’s offline, Sapnap comes in and steals them, getting books to enchant his own set of netherite armour using Tubbo’s set up. Well then. There goes any hope of a fair fight. And they are trying, you know. They realise the armour discrepancy so they’ve been trying to get potions but even that’s a struggle - when Dream finished his apology stream he logged on to the SMP without warning and managed to kill Tubbo before he could get away while his inventory had been full of potions. (Tommy and Tubbo had been visiting Dream’s base to put a sign in it - an offer of Mellohi for peace. Nothing comes of this sign or any of the other Tommy put in other people’s houses - more potential good content there like demanding Sapnap stay neutral in return for a supply blaze powder (a ref to the drug war that preceded this conflict)). It’s not that Dream killing Tubbo is the issue - it’s more how he logged on basically without warning so Tubbo had little chance to get away as he was mostly unarmoured and ungeared.

Still, the next day Tubbo is trying to grind back up, to even up things a little. He’s only managed to get 2 end crystals and he has a few sets of plain diamond armour and a few books. So he grinds like crazy in the limited time, trading all his iron, chopping trees, carrots, bamboo, sugar, everything he has into emeralds. But he needs levels. He tries to go to the spawner which the other side has been freely using to grind up exp and they kill him when he goes near. One time, Dream kills him while he has several books on him so he has to trade back emeralds to get them again. And now he doesn’t have a good way to get experience so he can’t even the odds. Punz and Sapnap even combatlog inside the spawner so if he goes near they’d come online and kill him. And yeah, they’re stream sniping. They’ve all streamed very little, hiding all their preparations while taking advantage of the fact that the other side have all been streaming everything they’ve been doing.

‘Imagine streamsniping.’ Tommy and co. said that at one point during today’s conflict. It’s cheap - it’s not fun, it’s taking advantage - one that’s not even necessary as you’re already all OP. Dream’s side aren’t the underdog, they don’t need every single advantage to win this. Instead it’s more like rubbing salt into the wound.

And yeah, despite all the griefing that Dream side have done, not once does anyone grief anything of theirs - like the chat was totally asking for them to burn down Punz’s house. No, they just place signs and talk.

Okay, so Tommy announced the war would be at 7pm. He logs on at 6.45 to say hello and hype all his viewers up, get his music playing and give a rundown of the situation and what’s occurred since he’s last streamed. No sooner has he logged on then Tubbo gets ambushed early! They attacked prematurely!

...

It’s like there was one rule - war begins at 7pm. And instead Dream, George and Sapnap all attacked Tubbo at his base at 6.45. Tommy is ages away and can’t do anything and Fundy’s in trouble too and Tubbo just barely manages to save the gear he has managed to prep. They’re even more on the backfoot. All their strats are known anyway as they’ve been watching streams so they know all about the potions and endcrystals while Tommy’s side are in the dark about Dream’s side’s preparations. For instance, offstream they filled Tommy’s base and L’Manburg with Tnt which they set off to devastating effect.

The ‘war’ is as one-sided as you’d expect. Tommy and co. are trying to attack even though they lack arrows and food and are hopelessly outmatched but they put up a pretence of trying anyway. At no point is a single one of Dream’s side even moderately threatened (except perhaps when they ambushed Tubbo early as he tried using harming potions) and everyone knows it.

Still, Tommy and Wilbur push on - they talk, they rally etc. Finally, Eret betrays them and they’re all killed in an ambush. And they’re shocked by this twist, they react, they call Eret their downfall. (Dream’s side didn’t need to resort to such tactics to win given their obvious advantage.) and Eret being a traitor is fantastic for content anyway so it is a great part of the narrative that they all react to perfectly. Eret seems to have a good instinct for making good content as well as this sort of twist is a good addition. It works because its drama - they trusted him and they never expected him to betray them to the other side after all they’d built together.

In the end, Tommy finishes it on a high with a dramatic bow duel followed by offering the discs in exchange for freedom. And fittingly, despite have being entirely outplayed in terms of power and tactics, they win the thing they cared about - which was the independence that they started the war for. The content - not anything material. Dream’s side was far stronger and better prepared and they weren’t given so much as a chance to catch up for a pvp conflict. But L’Manberg - they got that.

Okay, so this has been long and I’ll probably rewrite something similar soon - but I wanted to highlight how in meta terms, the war was being played unfairly and its obvious that Dream’s side had different priorities - win under any means necessary rather than continue to make great content for the SMP. They’re treating it like a manhunt or something when its absolutely not and shouldn’t be. They’re lucky that Wilbur and Tommy were so good at making it work as they do all the heavy-lifting for the SMP which ensures its got a healthy lifespan.

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regrettablewritings · 3 years ago

Note

DJ X READER HEADCANON you pick 😉😉

I blink at the request that stares back at me from my inbox, brow furrowing with every flutter of my lashes. "Sis . . ." I murmur, "you good?" As though my ass had not also been search for content relating to this forgotten POS just the other day. But if you insist . . .

4. What they do on date night:

To be brutally honest, DJ will look you dead in the eye and tell you that going for a night out on the town pick-pocketing is a date. Or, at least, he will try to. It's surprisingly hard to maintain eye contact with someone whose glare could probably cut beskar.

In his defense (if he even deserves any), DJ does try to make it a little more fun than he already finds it -- granted, it's done in a very DJ way. You get your little evening promenade through the streets, he tricks you to a quick bite to eat, you hold hands and run through the lantern-speckled streets before turning down a narrow alleyway that's just perfect for sharing an intense liplock . . .

Of course, this all translates into your evening together including: Walking through a marketplace, your asshole boyfriend slipping peoples' credits out of their pockets and purses under the guise of bumping into them; him using those sticky fingers of his to nick some street food off of a cart before its proprietor called the authorities on his theft; said sticky fingers lacing with yours as he guides you down the crowded streets (grinning like the little shit he was for enjoying the chase); all before making a sudden jerk down an alleyway.

You're breathless, irritated, and . . . maybe -- only just maybe -- a little excited by the thrill of it all. But you can't let him know that, otherwise, he'd never let you live it down and he'd be the cock of the goddamn walk for who knows how long. Worse: He'd consider this a win for his insistence that this sort of thing counted as a date! And there was no way in hell you were about to let that happen!

You only got as far as opening your mouth to hiss own some choice words at him when you instead got cut off by your thieving significant other pressing you against the grubby alley wall. Even if you hadn't been distracted by the action to remember to cuss him out, the words were instantly killed. They were inhaled by his own lips, his kiss encompassing your words, your thoughts, your . . . everything. They were speared by his tongue, as though it were his weapon against the beast that brewed within you.

And they were quelled by the feel of his callused fingers brushing against your cheeks before moving onward to the beck of your head, pressing you only further into his hold. DJ's fingers were deft, but that didn't necessarily mean that their carefulness was always directed at you. It's . . . something to savor . . .

Of course, it was meant to fool the chumps following the both of you but you don't mind. Not in that moment anyway. When you get back to wherever you're staying for the night, it's another story, but one DJ is more than happy to bring to a happy ending.

It's a bit nicer when he gets his hands one someone's credits, though: It means he can take you out to an actual establishment. However, be warned: It's only a bit nicer because you also need to be on the lookout for the authorities (or the poor bastard you stole from), or be prepared to make a run for it.

11. What their first impression was of each other:

Dirty. Old. Bastard. A dirty old bastard. And to your credit, you weren't wrong, but of course, the first impression is always the shallowest. And considering the shithead had just tried to put the moves on you when you were already having a rough day . . . Yeah, he honestly deserved presumptions with the depth of one's own navel -- an outie, preferably.

He stood out against the Canto Bight elite with his grubbiness, looking like a leathery garbage pouch at best and like a guy who'd try to sell you a faulty droid at moderate. A dirty, bastardly part of you couldn't help but muse that perhaps the worst he could do was be a nasty lay -- and not nasty in the way one might want, either.

Granted, it wasn't hard to imagine that: The fact he was hitting on you while you were trying your best to just survive your shift at the casino that evening did little to convince you he was any good.

And as for DJ, it was a one-two-punch type of introduction. Literally: First he eyed you, then he got a little too suggestive, and then you punched him. What a sleazeball, right? It was his own damn fault for assuming the least of you, though. You were cute like all the other servers, no doubt, with that shy smile of yours that made it abundantly clear to him that this sort of place wasn't your scene if you didn't have to work there. Unlike the other servers, however, he was feeling pretty brazen about you.

DJ has no interest in the concept of “fate” or “destined meetings”, but even months out from that point he wouldn’t be able to place precisely what compelled him to break his usual protocol of being discreet. Nor why he was so insistent. All he knows was that he called you over to him and, rather than requesting a drink, he “chatted you up”. And might’ve suggested that you two blow off this place and maybe “blow off somewhere else”.

He also knows that the moment you struck his cheek, cheeks burning and eyes widened with the realization of what you’d done, he was wrong and right about you.

You were frankly lucky he turned out to be a blight on the Canto Bight scene, otherwise your boss would’ve fired you the moment he had learned of what you had done. What you were unlucky for, however, was that from then on, the thief started showing up more often. Not enough to get caught (at least, not for long), but enough for him to determine that maybe the both of you really should blow this joint -- in the nonsexual way.

And in the end, you became unlucky once more: For someone so grubby and bastardly, he was also quite the charmer. Y’know, once you’ve smacked him around a bit.

14. What nicknames they call each other:

You honestly struggle to nickname DJ, predominately because, well, DJ is already a nickname. You think. After all, you sincerely doubt anyone would actually name their kid Don’t Join even as a political statement. Really, the fact you don’t know his actual name sort of calls for consideration of how healthy your obviously unhealthy relationship is. But any pleas to learn this asshole’s real name just winds up being like having a namana cream pie shoved in your face, because DJ just turns it all into a joke.

There have been many occasions where DJ would tell you different names he would swear were his own -- often times in the same week! Other times, his claim would be that he’s told you it while you were asleep, or that he once told you but you got conked on the head and forgot it.

Interestingly enough, it’s through these juvenile exploits that he’s earned a bit of a nickname from you: “Bastard”. Just rolls off the tongue, don’t it? To be fair, though, you’re with him for a reason: Even if he may not seem like it, he does have a soft sport for you. Even if it comes out about as smoothly as his features.

In a way, he reminds you of a mutt. A stray mutt. Especially when he shoves his head into your lap after a long day of fucking about and being a menace to whatever society you two decided to hop a ship to.

“You’re like a puppy sometimes, you know that?” you murmur. You scritch into his mess of hair, earning a low growl of contentment from your datemate. He never had to admit it out loud, but your touch clearly did wonders to him. This was evidence by how his already large body began to further sprawl along the couch the ship he’d stolen came with. Yup; just like a puppy. A big, raggedy puppy. Who needs a trip to the refresher as soon as this scritching session was over.

For DJ, on the other hand, nicknames come easily. Honestly, it’s mainly due to how he barely takes anyone or anything seriously: When you don’t concern yourself with all the muddled nonsense of society or wide circles of people, it becomes a whole lot easier to see everyone’s buttons. And considering he was a master slicer, button-pressing was definitely his thing.

Despite the fact that you were a one-in-a-million instance of being someone whom the thief actually trusted and treated with even a modicum of respect, even you weren’t immune to his acts of mockery.

“Mornin’, P-p-pipsqueak,” he’d smirk over a cup of caff, knowing damn well that his advantage of height bothered you sometimes.

“Ea-asy there, k-kitten,” he’d purr whenever your frustration would come boiling to the brim. Things like that.

“Lookie here, dollface,” when he wants to butter you up without losing his stance.

But that doesn’t mean he’s unable to be more affectionate. It’s in there, it’s just . . . in there. The best examples, however, tend to be when the both of you are having downtime and are actually safe somewhere. Or whatever safe could mean when you’re with DJ.

Generally, a jail cell wouldn’t be considered safe. Maybe not unsafe if the only occupants were your boyfriend of ill repute and yourself, but it certainly wasn’t enjoyable. And yet, the way DJ just seemed to laze about in them made you feel unnaturally calm. Well, calmer. It would’ve been nicer if your more-than-capable boyfriend would put those slicing skills of his to use and just busted the both of you out of there, but to DJ, a night in the clink meant at least a few hours of shut eye on a bed.

“B-bes-s-sides: We can alw-w-ways just grab on-e of those f-f-f-floating citadels they g-g-g-got docked out there,” he would reason, making himself comfy on the thin mattress. He had a point, you supposed. And it wasn’t as though you hadn’t been expecting this as a part of your life once you got together with him. Still, you weren’t entirely comfortable joining him on said mattress . . . Maker knows when it had last been washed!

You would be far from the first to consider DJ to be the most observant person, dating or not, but your concern must’ve been rich enough for him to practically sense it: Without hesitating, he sat up just enough to offer you his hand.

“C-come on,” he said. “I need to c-c-c-catch some shut e-e-eye, and it ain’t hap-p-p-penin’ if you’re standing d-d-down there the entire t-time.”

A feeling of mild dread seeped into you, followed by a wet blanket of acceptance. You were going to just spend an hour in the refresher of whatever ship you swept off with. Sighing, you accepted the hand, only for the hold to pull you up not onto the mattress, but directly on top of him!

There was plenty to react to -- the sudden movement, the feeling of being on top of DJ -- but the man himself didn’t seem at all fazed. Instead, he focused primarily on tucking in whatever lagging limbs you had and making sure he was cozy enough to continue serving as your mattress for however many hours he needed to recuperate. Which he apparently was: Not once did he protest to your weight pressing down on him, nor did he grunt with displeasure whenever you turned the direction of your head against his chest.

At the most, he only ever offered your back a brief circle of rubbing with his free hand, the other serving as his pillow, before uttering a drowsy, “You good there, kid?”

And, to your surprise . . . yeah. In spite of everything, yeah, you were pretty good . . .

And yet, interestingly enough, no matter what he calls you, none of that ever measures up to when he calls you by your name. Not pipsqueak, not kitten, not dollface or kid or whatever, but your actual name. Because DJ hardly ever refers to anyone by their actual title, let alone cares to remember it. By not only remembering it, but applying it, it shows you that he does care. It’s deep down -- like, real in there -- but it’s there. And you’re the only non-slicing being in the entire galaxy to have ever cracked that sort of safe.

Wear that badge with pride, Hotshot.

Thanks for your patience on this one! Clearly I had a lot of fun writing it! 💖 💖 . . . May gotta actually start writing for DJ. Maybe.

#dj x reader #star wars dj x reader #dj star wars x reader #star wars x reader #dj imagine #dj imagines #character ship meme #character x reader #character ask meme #regrettablewritings #Star Wars imagine #Star Wars imagines #Me: I saw @seraphinativan at the DJevil's Sacrement #@Seraphinativan: Girl what were YOU doing at the DJevil's Sacrement?#Me: lol u got me

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