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mschimdt · 1 year ago

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OBSERVE pt.1

5455 words

recom!navi!quaritch x recom!navi!fem!reader

summary: you were reborn into a navi recom inorder to fight for pandora, but soon you ensed up feeling a connection to eywa, and you ended up escaping only to be caught by the colonel and punishrd accordingly, till he find you one dy during your heat cycle

this is a 100 folower special, thank you all so much, yes this is a series now and this is part one out of maybe 2 or 3

warnings: p to v, degrading, mention of injury, embarassment, public humiliation, sex, heat cyle, this hasnt been proof read so theres alot of typos, ill fix them soon when i have the motivation to

you opened your eyes, a bright light blinding you, you saw blue figures wandering around you, you went full panic mode thinking the navi caught you, you sat up, your head hurt but you couldnt let the dirty navis get away with this, your vision started coming in and one of the blue navis came towards you to attack you "LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

you stood up and attempted to punch them "(Y/N) CALM DOWN" said an oddly familiar voice, you were in a medical room, weird, they must have attacked bridgehead while you were out cold you didnt notice the 'little' humans under you

the blue guys came towards you restricting you from delivering anymore slaps and punches to their faces. you couldnt move, they were all holding you, "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU DIRTY BASTARDS" you said, still not noticing thay youre litteraly navi

you were still trying to set yourself free when you heard the familiar voice again. "y/n its us, stop freaking out, its me quaritch" he said "wha-" he cut you off "lyle, Z-dog" he said pointing at each of them, "okay okay let me go" you said

they let you go and you still hadnt noticed that you were navi, you were the same height as them but you didnt think anything of it, until you looked down "what the-" you said cutting your self off staring at your blue feet

you walked towards a reflective window observing your new look, fangs, a tail, blue skin, stripes, ears, and shit you were even 8'11

some scientists walked inside and told you to sit down so they could take your vitals and make sure youre good before letting you go

they took your vitals and you were infact good to go, they handed you some clothes, the others already left to inform the others that you were okay

you put the clothes the scientists gave you on and walked out of the door, this was a completley new area, not the hells gate you remembered, luckily there was a small map hung on the wall, you stared at it wondering where everyones gonna be

you didnt know where they might be, so you just headed in a random direction hoping youll ens up finding some other blue guys wandering around, after a few minutes of walking you infact did find another navi, it was mansk, atleast thats who you thought he was because of the shades, you walked toward him

"heyy uhh do you know where the others are?" you said regreting your life decisions, sure you knew mansk but this was awkward, "yeah, theyre over there in the lounge" he said, straight face "okay thanks, mansk right?" "thats right, y/n?" "mhm, thanks though" he gave you a little smile and continued walking towards wherever hes going, you headed towards the lounge only to find quaritch awfully speaking navi, you didnt know how to either but atleast you werent speaking gibberish

"we need to look navi, eat navi, hunt navi, the only way were gonna get jake sully is we act, like jake sully" you walked in and leaned against a wall listening to quaritch, then you spoke "they stull didnt kill jake? its been 15 years" you said fully expecting jake to be 6 feet under right now

"unfortunatley they didnt catch him, its our job now" quaritch continued rambling about how were gonna kill jake and how were gonna give humans a "bright future" and get rid of all the savages

before you knew it, you were already out on your first mission, you didnt even have time to observe your body and get used to it before you were sent out to explore, ever since you came back as navi, you felt a connection to eywa, similar to what jake felt

one part of you wanted to be with the people and the other wanted to kill the people, eventually you forgot about this arguement eith yourself when you saw 2 navis walking through the forest, they were omaticaya people, jakes people, or should i saw toruk makto

they were 2 teenage looking navis arguing with eachother, they didnt know you were there so they were screaming random shit in navi, the others noticed the noise and slowly walked behind the 2 kids, they were still arguing, which signaled they hadnt noticed you

suddenly lyle and walker snuck up on them and restrained them by their queues they started fighting them, you walked oit of the bushes along with the others, you had a decent military rank, you were a seregeant, right under lyles rank but higher than the others, so if quaritch and lyle werent there you'd be incharge

you walked up to the kids behind quaritch, as a form of respect, "what're yr' names" he was death staring them at this point, the kid said something in navi and quaritch replied back, both the kids started laughing at his bad pronounciation of words

" i dont like to repeat things, whatre yr names?" quaritch said, it lookes like he was about to fucking explode

"n-neteyam- and loak.." one of them said "neteyam what huh?" quaritch replies forcefully grabbing the other kids hand, noticing the 5 fingers on his hand, "lo'ak and neteyam sully huh, i suppose you know where he is dontcha" you were still standing behind quaritch incase anything happened

quaritch said something into his ear peice, "cuff them" he said turning away, "yes sir" you said walking over to the kids and harshly grabbing their arms to cuff them, when you notices something in the distance, before you had any time to tell the others, an arrow peirced through walkers skull, knocking her to the ground

quaritch stared at the arrow, imediatley recognising the arrow, it was neytiri, sullys woman

you spoke up "is that you Mrs. sully?" you said dragging the kids with you toward a tree, they kept kicking you with their legs, you ended up also having to cuff their legs "listen here little bitches, you stop squirming and trying to wiggle out of the cuffs, or else it wont end too well for you" you said completley fed up with their shit, you heard a scream from behind you and now fike was down too, he had an arrow in his leg, you were surprised about how quick these arrows could kill a person, they must be poisonus, quaritch came over and helped you carry the 2 boys

"cmon hurry up, dont wanna get one in the head" you said as you swung one of them over your shoulders ran for your life

one of the kids ended up activating a tear bomb with their fingers, and they somehow uncuffed themselves and escaped while you got knocked to the ground for a few seconds, you regained your consiousness only to find yourself on lyles shoulder, "lyle im okay you can let me go" you said waiting for him to drop you onto the floor

he let you go and a bright light shone from above, the helicopter was finally here and you could leave this shitty mission and think about what you were going to do about your "connection" to pandora

you got on the helicopter and finally arrived at what now was called bridgehead, walking over to your assigned room, you took your shirt off and stayed in your sport bra not having the energy to change your clothes

you layed in your bed thinking about what you were going to do to stop this awful feeling of emptiness because you werent living freely, roaming through the forest, embracing the culture of navi

after a few days you were fed up with the feeling of having to destroy a place you wanted to embrace so bad, so, you made an escape plan

you were going to leave on the next mission, ans youll turn your comms off aswell as your location so you couldnt be tracked, it was the only way you could do this

you woke up the next morning heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine, you slipped on some cargo pants and left your room

you were in a shared "apartment" with all the recoms, there was a small room for each recom with a bathroom each, and a living room and a kitchen between the rooms, it wasnt bad just a little cramped

you headed to the living room, lyle laying in the corner of the L shaped couch and quaritch awake drinking a mug of coffee on the other side

"goodmorning sir" you greeted, you knew nott o get on the colonels nerves, hes DEADLY and when i say deadly i mean it.

"g'morning" he said back, not even looking at you, you headed to the kitchen to grab yourself a warm cup of tea so you could head back to your room

suddenly a voice spoke "why're ya up so early?" quaritch said, you couldnt read his emotions, he was basically unreadable

"i didnt realize it was so early, pandora timing is really confusing" you said, you actually didnt realize that ot was early, since the sun was up you just assumed that it was when you usually wake up

"makes sense" he said, still not looking at you, god this man gets on your nerves sometimes

awkward tension was building up, yoh were inpatiently waiting for your water to start boiling so you could make the mother fucking tea because you couldnt handle the overly dominant aura quaritch was giving off

finally, after what felt like an hour of waiting, the water finally boiled and you made your tea as quickly as you can so you could go back to your room, you went back to your room, finally

it was pretty early outside, almost 6am, you wondered why quaritch would be up so early, you took a sip of your tea, it was bitter, god fucking damn you forgot to add sugar

now you had to go back into the room that had the energy of 100 men radiating off 1 man, great

you unlocked your room door for the second time in the past few minutes and headed towards the kitchen again, already feeling the tense atmosphere, you also felt quaritchs eyes burning through your skull

you grabbed the sugar and turned back around, expecting to see quaritch staring at you because you could feel his eyes poking holes into your skull but no, he looked unbothered reading some book about the navi body that he was reading earlier

you entered your room AGAIN and you inhaled a breath, not even knowing you held your breath back there

you were bored so you decided to map out your escape plan on a peice of paper, or aeast write down the steps to it incase you forgot

you heard a loud knock on your door followed by other distant knocks on other doors, you flipped the paper over so whoever was there couldnt see it and you walked towards the door to unlock it wondering who wouls possibly need you at 7 am,

"surprise training, meet me outside in 10" quaritch said to you and the 3 recoms beside your room, going to bang on the other doors inorder to wake the rest up

you wandered into your room again, slipping on a sports bra and a tanktop with camo shorts and headed to the outdoor courtyard to meet quaritch,

"ardmore said theres a mission today at 3pm, they saw some savages running through the forest and ordered us to try and find them, meet me at 2:30 in the helicopter room" quaritch said , ofcourse he had to give us some shit to do for absolutley no fucking reason

training was the worst thing youve experienced in your entire life, you felt like quaritch was torturing you on purpose because he made you run 30 extra laps because your hands gave up mid pushups

you went to the female showers, your muscles were basically torn, you ran almost 6 miles because you failed one singular pushup out of the 40 you did before

you washed off with warm water, it felt soothing to your muscles, quaritch was basically a torture machine that tortures everyone, dying was better than having him torture you then it hit you. this mission was your chance to finally put your escape plan to use

your muscles barely felt like they hurt anymore, you slipped your clothes on and rushed out of the showers running towards your room, tiny scientists gave you weird stares but you didnt give a fuck, you were finally going to leave this place once and for all, forever hopefully

you were leaving, finally going to take care of yourself, you locked your door and flipped over the map from earlier, revising your escape plan before reaching into your closet to grab some clothes, a grey tanktop, you stayed in your camo shorts from earlier

it was almost meetup time and you didnt want to get on quaritchs bad side before making him mad forever, you headed to the helicopter room, this was it, the last time youll be in this place, hopefully

you sat inside the helicopter which is now taking off, no one has mumbled a word, you were glad, youwere never friends with any of them but you really didnt want to start a bond with them before leaving, because it might make you rethink your decision

thankfully, no one said anything the entire ride, it was quiet, atleast as quiet as it can get with raging helicopter flaps buzzing above your head, the aircraft started landing and soon before you even knew it, you were already down in the pandora forest, you were split into teams of two, you ended up with mansk, you knew he wouldnt be hard to distract

you walked off into the forest with mansk, waiting for t he perfect moment to stab him with an anesthetic shot you stole from the medical lab a few days ago

you saw 2 navi figures walking in the distance, it was time, you hit mansk in the back with the needle, he tried to fight you off before landing on the floor with a loud thud, you needed to leave fast, the colonel probably already knows about this, he probably doesnt know its you, you dropped your comms on the floor, you needed to leave now

you started running toward the 2 navi people walking around, it was one of the kids from last time, and another short kid according to your memory this kid was called loak, you didnt know about the other one though, they noticed you and went full alert until they saw you raising your hands up as a universal sign of defeat, "help me please, get me away from them" yopu said desperate to go far enough because if you stayed here they could easily find you, "and how are we supposed to trust you?" the older one said backing away and sheilding his younger sister behind him

"please, i dont know how to prove it, get me away from here before they find me, here you can cuff me just plase get me away from here" you say offering him the cuffs on you which you gladly took, he cuffed your hands behind your back to ensure that you wouldnt be able to do anything to him

"you know any navi?" he asks, "unfortunatley i dont" he says, you followed him "we're going to have to secretlet meet up with my dad first" he said holding the little kids hand dragging her with him, you arrived somewhere "stop here, im going to go call my dad, dont want anyone seeing you" you nodded and watched him walk away, just a few minutes later, he was back with his dad, jake sully

"y/n?" jake said while lo'ak stared at him confused "yes i know her! never expected her to end up liking the na'vis though. you sure this aint a trick?" you were still trying to convince him "i can assure you it isnt" jake was basically shocked now. "the clan isnt going to accept this easily, but imgoing to try my best, if they dont though, i cant reallydo anything so you;d have to find another clan to be with"

"okay"you said, jake uncuffed you and lead you toward hometree, it was a bit hard for the navi at first, but they ended up accepting you

now back to what happened to mansk

quarith found him unconsious on the ground with a needle stillstuck in his back and your comms crushed on the ground, you did this. he thoughtyou were loyal, he informed ardmore of what happened and called you "jake sully 2.0"

they ended up heading back to base, quaritch was fuming, once he reached the recom quarters he broke down the door to your room and destrooyed almost everything in it, when he came to the desk. he found a paper. labeled as "escape plan" and thats when he knew you'd escaped

a few weeks latee you were wandering around hometree, some havwnt accepted you yet but you knew theyd end up accepting your presence

you were still being taught the way of the people and they were trying their best to help you, quaritch was looking for you and yoh knew that, he was gonna come for you at some point, you needed to fight

at this point quaritch scrapped all the plans of finding jake, he doeant care about jake anymore, his only goal was to find you

he wasnt gonna kill you, he was going to torture you and force you to be a loyal member to the RDA so they can finish with the jake sully mission

you were sleeping, when you heard a sound, a sound like a helicoptera proppelers, thats when you kmew, they'd found you, and that was soon confirmed when a bright light shone into your sleepy eyea

you opened your eyes to find the one and only, quaritch, with a shit eating grin slapped on his face

he had found you

"thought ya could run huh?" he said through the grin, you got up to run away, find somewhere to hide untik they were gone, but it was too late

quaritch bent down and cuffed your legs, you still had your hands so you desperatley tried to crawl away but they were soon cuffed too

you found yourself on a helicopter back to bridgehead, you were basically sobbing, "fuck you" you said through your choked sobs "maybe one day" he said followed by a laugh, you soon landed in bridgehead and you were shoved in a cell

quaritch didnt care about jake now, the only thing he wants to do now is torture you, so he begun

he walked into your cell just a few hours after waking you up from your sleep, threw you some clothes, and tols you to get dressed because you were going to go on a 5 hour training

he wasnt leaving though, he stood at the door staring at you waiting for you to change

"turn around?" you said "no"

you kmew tjere was no arguing with him so you got up and changed, he wasnt hiding the fact that he was looking you up and down, you changed and he cuffed your hands and held you while your braid while you walked out of the cell to go to the courtyard

he closed the door that led outside to the courtyard and shoved you by your queue

"alright, 20 laps right now" he said waving his fingers to shoo you off, you actually ran the 20 laps, you were already exausted after but he shoved you by your braid to the ground "50 pushups and for each one you fail 10 will be added" lets just say you ended up doing over 200 pushups

"good job, now we're gonna begin training, that was just warmup, still 4 hours left" he said walking toward a wall with knofes hung all over it, grabbing a knife and handing it to you

he taught you some ways to stab someone and each time you did one correctly he mumbled a little "good job" followed by claps

"this is going to become a daily thing, and we wont stop till you can do 50 pushups in a row without fail"

you knew this was going to be a long week, or month maybe, even year

after a few training sessions, you warmed up to quaritch and you'd have little conversations here and there, he gave you your room back, it was all back to normal other than the training that you had everyday, but you were getting better, you were close to finally being done

you walked into the courtyeard for training, as usual you did some pushups, he ordered 100 and you did them all inna row without fail

he praised you and moved on to combat, you got everything right, he was shocked how fast youve improved

"i guess my jobs done here, you gotta promise me not to run off again, your not allowed into any missions till i say so"

"yes sir" you reply knowing that if you tried to run off again you were going to he in deep shit

you decided to not run off, and serve for the RDA, they wete using yoh as a puppet to track jake down and you were giving them locations, you ddint want to get on quaritchs bad side

plus after hanging out with quaritch you guys became friends, you thought you had feelings for him but you got rid of the idea knowing you shouldnt be inlive with your superior

the next day you were finally allowed permission to go to the gym, showering after the gym, it was the first time youve been in the gym for months, you noticed something change about the shower rooms but they probably changed while you were gone

then you heard a few male voices, the shower rooms looking different made alot more sense to you now, you were in the mens showers, thankfully the rooms had doors, you were going to wait it out till they were gone

you waited for 30 minutes until someone noticed the locked door thats been locked for way too long, without wster running or anything, they could see under the door and saw feet confirming that there was someone in there

"hey whoevers in there u good" you recognised lyles voice, you tried to make ur voice deep and let out a "mhm"

"didnt know we had an extra member huh, thats weirs, the others are outside it was just me, quaritch, and a few girls at the gym" you just stay silent not wanting to embarrass yourself any further

lyle walks away to save you the ebrassasment, he realized it was someone that wasnt supposed to be here, preferabley a woman . so he decided to just leave

but quaritch stayed, he wasnt going to leave till you left, he wanted to know whos in there "whos in there, come out would ya' its been an hour" you realized that theres no running away from this now, you got dressed and glowly peeked through the door to see quaritch with his hands crossed across his chest standing infront of the stall, "why're ya in here sweet 'eart?" he says, a dirty grin smacked across his face

"i didnt realize this was the mens room till i heard you and lyle come in, tried to wait it out but that didnt work well" you said, embarassed you came here in the first place

"well its alright, grab yr' stuff n leave now, shouldnt be in e're" " yes sir" you said, grabbing your things preparing to leave the mens showers, you dont know how you didnt notice this was the mens bathroom, after all theres some urinals in the corner, must've not seen them

you and quaritvh had grown close, you were basically friends now, not normal friends though, you wouldnt hangout or anything, just occasionaly have talks

your feelings for quaritch just grew in the past few months, you had a crush on him, without a doubt, you werent really friends with the recoms, so you'd end up hanging with some scientists, they werent that bad, they were just tiny compared to you

the next day you were in bed, you were uncontrollably horny, it must be the heat cycle, you heard about it but never did proper research about it, you're fucked, litteraly, because from the things youve heard, it lasts about 2 weeks and the only way to stop it was mating, it was mid day and you couldnt handle it, you took a day off and just stayed in bed

you didnt know what to do, but then, an idea popped in your mind, sure you need to mate to get rid of this, but you could try masturbating to relieve some of the feelings you were feeling, you were pretty nearvous because 1- your door has no lock so anyone can walj it, quaritch removed it because he didnt want you making more shitty plans 2-you never touched yourself in this body.

you layed down under the covers, and slipped your shorts to your knees, you slid your hands between your legs, and you started experimenting, your cold hands on your throbbing,warm,wet pussy felt funny but relieving

you rubbed your clit, the way it felt was amazing, you were sure you'd never be able to feel like this as a human, you slipped your other hand under the covers to push a finger inside yourse;f, maybe this could solve your problem, you were pumping your fingers in and out of yourself making sure to keep an eye on your door incase someone opened it, they tend to do that alot

and, it opened, you stopped your movements quickly putting one of your hands above the covers to make it seem more natural, it would be obvious if both your hands were under the covers

and you guessed it, it was quaritch "y/n why're you talking a day off, we need you today" he said, completley oblivious of what you were doing before he came in

"i just.......needed- a little uhhh break" you said, you didnt now how you were going to explain what was happening to you to him, so you chose not to

"ya sure? ya dont look too tired dya, anything going on that i should know about? dont wantcha makin' one of ya' little plans again do i now?"

"o-okay look sir- so basically... youve heard of the heat cycle shit or whatever it is? basically its happening to me right now and i really CANT join training or anything" a smirk appeared on his face only to soon fade away, "why cant'cha tho? dont know anything bout this stuff but ya' surely can join us?"

"not unless you want me to be incredibly fucking horny while training!" you said fed up with him asking questions, you needed him to leave now, you were just getting hornier by the moment, and his strong musk didnt help

"damn so thas what is is, coulda told me earlier, coulda helped" he said, smug smirk plastered across his face "y' want me to help?" you stood still shocked for a moment, the colonels never offered you help in anything, so the first time of him offering you help, BY HAVING SEX WITH YOU was definently weird "u-uh if you could sure..." you said unsure of what you were saying, your hornyness taking over

quaritch walked over to you, sitting himself on the bed right next to you, this is the closest youve ever been with him, the losest you ever got to him before this was when he tried to teach you how to do something with a knife, you didnt quite remember but that didnt matter right now, all that matters is that you need to have sex with the colonel to get this heat cycle shit over with

quaritch stared at you, then he leaned down, joining your lips together, kissing you, holding your chin with his thumb, the kiss quickly turned into a makeout session and every once in a while one would break the kiss to get a clothing article off, until quaritch was left in his boxers and you completley bare, while you were kissing you pushed the pants that were on your knees off your body, leaving you completley exposed

he cupped your breasts, qauritch was now ontop of you, in a plank like position, still making out, you were both under the covers, quaritch reached his free hand that wasnt holding him up down to pull his boxers off, he pulled them halfway off and broke the kiss, pulled them off, "holy shit.." you said not expecting him to be this big, you were looking at his shaft, it was leaking beads of precum, straining against his lower abdomen. you could say he was ATLEAST 15 inches long, thankfully you were navi and hopefully- could take it

"holy shit i didnt expect you to be this big" you mombeled out of shock, "oh yeah? and youre gonna take it all bitch", he didnt know if you liked being called names, but by the way your body responded, he confirmed that you enjoyed being called names

he reached his hand down your torso, approaching your dripping cunt, he needed to prep you, it was necessary because he was aware of how big he was

he stuck a digit inside you, and you let out a moan, it was more of a whimper because you knew you couldnt be too loud, soon enough there were 2 fingers thrusting in and out of you, ocassionaly scissoring you

he pulled out, reaching for his member to line it up with your cunt, he couldnt wait any longer and neither could you, you need to feel any form of release, you knew you were going to cum less than a minute into him fucking you, but who cares, atleast you'll get this over with, then you remembered you heard some scientist speaking about how if someone was in their heat cycle theyd need to form the tsaheylu bond with their "mate" or else it wouldnt work

you werrnt just about to ask quaritch if you could mate, you didnt know how he'd react to that, who knows maybe itll work if you do it without a bond, it it didnt work then you were going to have to suffer through the remaninig days of this torture

quaritch was pounding into you, you couldnt supress your moans and you were now moaning, you knew everyone could hear you "ya' like tha fact that eveyone can feel hoe good im makin' ya feel huh? dirty slut" him saying that was just getting you closer to your release, quaritch ocassionaly letting soft moans out into your ears, you never expected to hear this man moaning even if it was inaudible

"im about to-" you said, not being able to complete your own scentence "go ahead sweetheart" and thats all it took for you to cum all over his cock, helping you ride out your orgasm nearing his own release

you were being over stimulated now, he finally reached his orgasm with a loud groan, filling your hole up with his seed, quaritch's body went limp and he collapsed on top of you, his head laying next to yours, he regained his strength and he pulled out "we should do this more often" "yeah we should"

quaritch kissed your forehead "cmon go get cleaned up for training" "yeah dont think im gonna be able to walk" you said " well, too bad princess because im forcing you, colonels orders" "ugh" you mumbled with a loud groan sitting yourself up "i heard that" he said reffering to your "ugh"

you got up to go shower, unfortunatley for you, there was no shower in your bedrooms bathroom so you had to go use the recom shower

quaritch left your room a bit ago, you dressed yourself and left the room to head to the showers across the hall, your bedroom was right next to the living room you heard some recoms cheering for you, your face turned purple in embarassment as you walked to the shower not looking back, this was going to be a long day....

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whxre-bxby · 2 years ago

Text

Fanfiction further down! Scroll!

Recom Mansk x Recom f. Y/N

Masterlist

"Greeting Death With A Smile"

Summary: Mansk is present on the boat for the last fight against Sully and Neytiri. He gets wounded and thinks he’s going to die alone. Luckily you find him in time, but you don’t know if it’s already too late.

WARNINGS: uhm TEARS, ANGST, Death, Blood, Violence tiniest bit of sad fluff, I’M BALLING MY EYES OUT WHILE WRITING THIS I THINK THAT SAYS ENOUGH

(Like, read at your own risk cuz I’m in pain I miss him sm)

Word Count: 4102

If u wanna feel even sadder i recommend you listen to (When it‘s cold I‘d like to die alone) it helped me cry my eyes out to the point that the tears burned my skin :)

Quaritch was giving instructions while, Lyle, Z-Dog, Prager, Mansk, and I stood close and listened. We were the only recom’s that I knew were alive. All the others had since been killed but since new things always kept happening, we couldn’t let our guard down and there was no time to mourn.

I had to run past Ja who lay lifeless on deck and it made me feel sick. I felt the urge to at least pull his body somewhere else but I knew we didn’t have time.

We had two of Jake’s kids hostage here with us and the Colonel was trying to get him to turn himself in for his daughters.

I sighed, not knowing whether I would live to see another day. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this or whether I thought it was right. But as a marine, you’re taught to listen to orders, even if you don’t agree with them. Listen and obey. That’s how you become a good soldier. And definitely never doubt your superior because they know what they’re doing.

Deep down, I did doubt it though. Not just Quaritch’s plan but this whole mission. Our existence. It was all still a big mess to me.

“Hold fire!” Quaritch orders as we watch him and Spider dive back into the water.

“He’s comin’.” he added, turning to me and another human soldier.

I pin my ears back and hold back a shiver from the cold. My clothes were wet but ignored the feeling and focused on holding my weapon ready.

“Let’s get this guy.” Quaritch said like it were the easiest thing in the world. My ears perk up. I listen even though I doubt. Even though I don’t understand, I listen.

“It’s what we came here for.” the Colonel keeps talking, looking at everyone around him.

I notice how all of us are no longer fully with him. Prager and I exchange looks but with no expression because we are both in denial of our doubts and worries. Pretending they aren’t real.

Even Lyle doesn’t nod along to his superior's words like he usually would. He would always back up everything Quaritch said but now he just stared at the ground, holding his gun and letting the Colonel’s words go in one ear and out the other.

Mansk looks at us and I can tell he has the same problem. We aren’t convinced but what option do we have? We’ve already done so much harm here. Once again. There’s no turning back because we’re marked down as the enemy for every single Na’vi on this planet.

We aren’t wanted here so we must listen.

To be completely honest, when I look at Quaritch one may think he knows what he’s doing. But I also occasionally catch a glimpse of doubt in his eyes. As if he weren’t sure why he would want to do this. Maybe he isn’t. I know damn well most of us hate the humans we used to be but we can’t do anything about it.

He claps his hands together and his confident expression returns. He tells us to take our places and I look at the ground before going to cover my area of ground.

We waited in silence for Sully to arrive and within the next few minutes, something exploded on the top deck. Prager and Z-Dog ran up the steps while I stayed on the lower deck with the rest of the team which is also where our hostages were.

My ears flick in multiple directions as I hear screams and I see Neytiri land on her Ikran. Her presence here meant death to many. Perhaps it would be me too.

Bodies start falling and I run over to pull a few soldiers out of the fire. Quaritch retreated to take cover close to where the two kids were while Lyle and Mansk continued to cover their ground.

Someone shouted ‘Eyes up’ and I saw Jake and Neytiri land on the lower deck now. That meant they wiped out the entire top deck already.

I see Lyle and Mansk still standing and am about to go to them when I hear a scream of agony behind me. An injured soldier covered in flames. Without thinking, I run to him, pulling him away from the oil-covered metal pole and helping him put out the fire on his leg. He’s missing his other one.

He lets his body fall back and sighs a little in relief, seeming to not feel the pain of his missing leg due to shock. I know he won’t make it through this. There is no one here to help. Everyone is trying to live.

Quickly, I turn around and that’s when I see Lyle get pushed over the rail by Jake who turns in the opposite direction of me. Mansk is no longer in sight.

I leave the wounded man behind because he passed out and I wouldn’t be able to help him anyway. I also just happened to care slightly more for Mansk and Lyle.

I jog over to a large red metal pole, keeping my gun raised an looking around. Maybe a recom was injured and needed aid or perhaps I could spot either Jake or Neytiri and get at least one of them down.

I press myself against the side of the column, looking over my shoulder at the rail which Lyle fell down. His body looked limp as it fell, making my gut wrench. Probably nothing I could save.

Suddenly I hear a distant shout.

“Y/N!” the voice of the Colonel echoes through the blood-stained walls of the ship.

I flinch and just as I go to turn around, my knee is kicked in and I’m hit in the head with the base of a gun.

I fall forwards and my body summersaults over a rail. My movements stop for a split second until my weight rolls to one side and suddenly I’m falling again. I land on the hard ground with a big thud which sends immense waves of pain through my body.

In a state of shock, I look up at the hole I was pushed in but no one is standing there anymore.

Slowly I get up, holding my side. I can’t move properly. I think I broke or at least cracked a rib. The lights in here are broken and since only a few work, it’s very dim.

I look up and notice I’m not alone.

Mansk couldn’t comprehend what happened fast enough. His heart dropped when Jake pointed the gun at him but luckily he ran out of ammo. In the next second, he lost his balance and hit his head on a metal pole next to him, falling over it. He saw Jake take his gun and launch it away before his upper body started tilting back.

His upper body was resting over what seemed to be a dent in the ground but as he slowly turned in pain, he realised it went further down. Mansk felt as though he was slowly falling through the ground but he couldn’t prevent it because his eyes kept blacking out. He saw how he slowly fell into darkness and his feet lifted into the air, falling with him into the void.

The sound of gunshots and shouts was distant now and he lay at the bottom of the hole he didn’t see before. Light reflected inside from the fire above but it wasn’t strong enough to help him see.

He groaned in pain, slowly lifting his injured body off the ground and pushing himself against a wall so that he was sitting upright. Mansk saw his shades on the ground next to him and noticed they were broken.

He once made a joke that he would die with them when Lyle teased him about constantly wearing them. Maybe it was time.

His head would drop in the direction the ship tilted as he lay limp against the cold metal.

Mansk shouted for help, calling out the names of the people he thought might still be around but there was no answer. No one heard him.

His vision became blurry and when he looked down he saw his abdomen was covered in a small puddle of blood. Whether it was his he didn’t know.

But he wasn’t afraid he would die. This is how he imagined it. He knew very well that one doesn’t mourn death in the military on Pandora. Mansk was ready to close his eyes for the last time and die alone, in peace. After all, it was his fate. Even though he hadn’t accomplished his mission, this is what always awaited him.

He lost track of time and seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness every few minutes. What woke him up was a scream which came from right above him and a thud of a body which landed a few feet from Mansk. His eyes managed to open and he saw a blue figure. Blood pumped through his veins as the feeling of fear returned again but once he noticed the U.S uniform, he dropped his head back in relief. It wasn’t Jake or Neytiri.

I whine out in agony as I straighten my posture and see Mansk sitting and leaning against a wall. My face brightens and for a second I forget about the pain.

“Mansk!” I shout, leaning back down on all fours and hugging my waist while looking up at him. He lifts his head and his eyes widen when he sees me.

“Y/N?” he asks, but his voice sounds weak. I smile, feeling relieved he’s alive and that I’m not alone.

“Oh thank god, I thought everyone was-” I say, crawling over to him before my hand comes in contact with a small puddle of fluid. I want to shake if off my skin but when I glance down I notice its colour. It’s not water, it’s blood. And it’s not mine but his.

My heart sinks when my eyes move higher up Mansk’s body, noticing how his blood has drenched the clothes on his stomach. When I look up at him he’s gazing at me with half-lidded eyes. Just above them, a new trail of blood is forming and slowly drizzling down the side of his face.

“Oh, Mansk…” I whisper, ignoring my own pain and kneeling next to him. His eyes follow me as I move around him and he looks weak and exhausted. I don’t think he can move much more than his head.

“Where are you hurt?” I ask, gently lifting his arm to check whether the blood is coming from his side.

“I don’t know…” he whispers, barely moving his lips or jaw. His eyes occasionally close while I apply pressure to check where the pain is coming from.

I hear him hiss through clenched teeth and I gently return it to its previous position. “Sorry,” I whisper.

He breathes heavily through his nose, looking down at himself. I notice how the blood doesn’t seem to stop.

“Come on, we need to get you back.” I softly say, lifting his arm over my shoulder. But I didn’t know how to get out of here, I was just hoping that the darkness would lead to a door which could lead us outside.

“No.” he breathes out and his body tenses. I freeze my movements and look at him.

“You can’t stay here Mansk.” I say, trying to motivate him to see if he can get up.

“I can’t move.” he whispers, biting down on his teeth as he tries to pull his arm from my shoulder.

“Y/N, I can’t feel my legs…” His jaw trembles and his voice breaks a little. His words go straight to my heart, seeming to tear it in two.

I look away, furrowing my eyebrows together while I convince myself that there must be another way. Quickly, in hopes of helping him, I lean over his body and apply pressure on his big wound to try and stop the bleeding.

I feel the corners of my eyes sting and my nose itch. The common sign that showed me I was about to tear up.

Mansk sighed and when I looked up at him he was softly smiling at me. It wasn’t a happy smile, but an appreciative one.

Mansk knew that what you were doing wouldn’t save him, but your attempt made him smile. Knowing you cared enough about him not to leave him behind warmed his heart as it slowed its beating.

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m gonna get you out of here.” I say, having to look away because otherwise, I might just break down. But my words didn’t seem to convince Mansk at all. They just refreshed his fading smile.

Even if we would somehow make it out of this room, our chances of dying were probably worse on deck because Jake and Neytiri were still there. And if they weren’t, there was no way we could get off this ship. We were both too wounded to fly our Ikrans. It wouldn’t work.

With the next inhale he tensed up and coughed while I steadied him and kept him sitting upright. His legs were motionlessly laying on the floor in front of him while his chest heaved. I noticed him cough out a few drops of blood which is what did it for me. Mansk wasn’t doing well and my hopes of him surviving were dying out.

“Thank you…” he whispered as his cough finally retreated. I look up at him through glossy eyes, wondering what he meant. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, because crying would be acknowledging that he wasn't going to make it. As long as I held them back, there was still hope in me.

“I thought I’d-” he said, being cut off by gasping for air. “...die alone.”

A smile formed on his lips again as his eyes remained fixed on my face.

Mansk knew all recom’s were something close to friends but he didn’t think he ever had anyone close enough to him to stay with him through his last moments. He expected to be left behind somewhere, injured and no longer deemed as useful.

“Come on Mansk, don’t give up on me.” I say, my forced calm voice breaking as I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver.

“I’m glad you’re here…” he struggled to say, forcing the words out of his pained chest while keeping his faint smile. It was slowly fading again.

I gasp, pressing my lips together to not lose it. I reach for his limp and blood-stained hand and hold it between both of mine. Feeling how cold it is has me fighting back tears.

I shiver from shock and pain. My broken rib was poking me and it hurt like hell.

"I can't save us." I whisper to myself, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, I feel how my legs are wetted and I look down, dreading to see blood but this time it is water. The room was slowly tilting to one side and the water was flowing in from the other side of the room. Mansk had noticed it too.

“You-” he said before coughing up more blood and I lost it. “You need to go.” he said, his voice sounding pained and forced. I knew he was suffering but I couldn’t let him die here.

“I’m not leaving you, Mansk.” I whisper, pressing his palm against my cheek. The tears blur my vision before spilling down my cheek, burning my skin a little.

“You can- live.” he says, swallowing back a cough while he struggles to breathe.

I clench my eyes closed, not wanting him to leave me as well. I knew Mansk for a long time and even though we were never really close, he had been a part of my life since I arrived on Pandora. We rarely talked but we knew we had each other's back and it didn’t cross my mind that I could lose him during this war. Now that I was face to face with the aftermath of violence, I was crumbling down. He meant too much to me, I couldn’t let him go.

“Don’t worry about me.” I whisper, forcing a trembling smile onto my face. I point to the opening of the hole we fell through. “I’ll get out there.” I say and his eyes slowly drift from my face to the opening in the ceiling and then back to me. He doesn’t seem sure of it but he doesn’t question it any further. His movements become so faint that I notice his presence slowly fading away. Mansk’s eyes slowly unfocus from my face and I reach out and cup his cheek while tears continue to spill from my eyes.

“Mansk-” I sob, trying to stay composed in front of him. He blinked, opening his slowly closing eyes a bit more and looking at me again.

“... stay with me, come on.”

My fingers gently tap his cheek while the water on the floor mixes with his blood.

Mansk opens his mouth to say something but he can’t push out a single word and instead, he slowly struggles to inhale before closing his mouth again.

I hold his palm against my chest, roughly where my heart is as I try to keep his attention on me.

“Please, don’t do this to me…” I sob, clutching his hand. He stares at me and his eyes look sad but he can’t say or do anything.

“Mansk, please you’re all I have left.” I cry out, dropping my head down before looking up at him.

“Thank you…” he repeats and ever so faintly whispers. He was grateful I was by his side because in truth Mansk did want to live. Mansk wanted to wake up to the morning the next day and be with everyone else. But that wasn’t possible. Not only because he was slowly dying, but because everyone has had since probably died.

I rub my thumb over his cheek, trying to comfort him. He’s looking into my eyes and furrows his eyebrows together a little as if he were confused about whether my tears are actually for him. Like he didn’t think he was worth my pain.

Mansk looked at me almost apologetically and his lips parted while he tried to get more air into his lungs. I couldn’t see his chest heaving anymore but I felt so mild air fanning from his mouth with small exhales.

I bit down on my lip, watching him and needing proof of life every few seconds.

He’s staring at me, grateful he wasn’t left alone and I notice how his eyes start to unfocus again. I gently tap his cheek, waiting for his eyes to readjust like they did last time but this time Mansk’s head is slowly falling to the side and into my palm. His eyes fade out and stare into nothing as they move from my face to the empty space behind me. His soft breath stopped fanning against my hand and his face was no longer contorted in pain or sorrow. It was blank and relaxed.

Mansk’s hand slowly drifted off my chest and loosely fell on his lap.

I wanted to scream and call his name but all words got stuck in my throat and I held onto him while my mouth gaped open. Tears fell from my face onto his now lifeless and numb body.

His blood continued to colour the rising water around me red. It had already overflowed his legs and reached up to his waist.

I held on to his body, pressing my face against his shoulder and crying my eyes out.

At this point, I had lost absolutely everyone and everything. We couldn’t return to family on Earth because we were Na’vi and now we had all lost each other.

Z-Dog lay on the top deck with a bow in her hip and one in her face while the ship started to slowly sink.

Prager lay on his side, motionless with a spear through his chest.

Lopez’s body had now sunk to the bottom of the ocean after he was shot by an arrow.

Walker, Zhang and Fike both had been shot down by arrows too.

Warren and Brown got an axe in their body.

Ja I had left behind after he was killed by the Tulkun.

Lyle was floating in the water, struggling to stay above the surface.

I didn’t know where Quaritch was but I knew he couldn’t help me.

And Mansk… lay bleeding out in front of me, lifeless and cold. His head was tilted to the side and I knew that he was gone. I could never talk to him again. I would never see him again. I know even if I survived, they wouldn’t retrieve his body and he would stay here and sink with the ship.

The water was filling the room more rapidly now but I still clung on to Mansk, crying his name.

I noticed his broken shades floating in the water and picked them up.

Remembering how much he liked to wear them I steadied his head and carefully put them on him after closing his eyelids. He would have thanked me if he could have for this.

My body was shaking but I knew I was going to die here too if I didn’t leave soon. I get up and the water reached up to Mansk’s neck already. It was gushing in from a half-open door on the other side of the dark room.

I look up, making sure the exit is still there but suddenly I see the water start flowing in from the top. The entire room is slowly turning over and the water flowing on deck has managed to push over the door which now completely closed off the hole we were in.

The room gets a lot darker and the water is leaking in from the side and from the top.

I groan out in pain through my sobs. I have tears staining my cheeks and my nose became runny and stuffed. This isn’t how I wanted things to end. We were finally starting to enjoy being alive on Pandora and now we died because our past selves made us finish something they couldn’t.

I look back at Mansk and see that he is fully submerged in the water now. I cry out, hating how helpless he is and how helpless I feel now. My side aches even more and I clutch my broken rib, trying to bite back the pain. I wouldn’t be able to swim in this anyway.

Within minutes, my feet are no longer touching the ground and my head is bumping against the ceiling. I’m crying out for help in pain but no one can hear anything over the noise of the flowing water. I wonder if anyone is still alive but I highly doubt it. There is a crack in the wall which is letting the oxygen in the room be replaced with water. I struggle to swim and keep my head above the surface.

(Art)

But then I ask myself, why I’m fighting? There was no use to it. Everyone was gone and I was stuck and injured.

I deeply inhale one last time before the entire room is submerged in water. My eyes open and I peer down at Mansk, who is lifelessly half laying at the bottom.

Since I’m going to die I might as well join him there so neither of us has to be alone.

I swim down with the last of my strength, watching how the last few bubbles of air escape his slightly parted lips. My hand once again reaches for his and I hold on to it for some form of comfort before I face upwards and let all the air I have to escape my lungs.

I start choking and look at Mansk. The light specks on our skin were slightly illuminating the water but his were more faded. I looked closer and watched how the light slowly vanished from him, one dot at a time.

It wasn’t long before I started drowning and a few minutes later, my lifeless, artificial blue body sunk down and joined Mansk on the floor of the ship.

Our bodies would stay here, most likely forever since all the death here was just a failed mission.

The lights from my body had now disappeared too and we were dragged down to the bottom of the ocean along with the ship. All because some humans wanted us to finish what they couldn’t.

So there I lay, greeting death with a smile once again, in hopes of meeting Mansk someday and somewhere far from here.

(I'm going to try and make some art to this)

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

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diabolikwriter · 2 years ago

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Nga yawne lu oer - Chapter 8

Recom! Miles x Na’vi/Avatar! Fem! Reader

Warnings: KISSING!! Cussing, Racism, Hurt, angst, break up, getting back together, sad Miles, sad (y/n), they both need a hug.

Word Count: 2044

Chapter 8: Catching Up

Miles’ POV

They had gotten back to base and the atmosphere had been strained and depressing on their flight back, and it hadn’t gotten better through dinner. After dinner and watching you being depressed and sad with no end in sight, he had decided that he needed to talk to you. Perhaps it was the time he learned the end of your engagement, the death of your sister, the thoughts and despair that you had felt, and perhaps had locked safely away in your chest for the past 15 years. Miles had asked Lyle if he and Z-dog where willing to watch over Spider while he talked with you, because for some reason Spider had become quite attached to those two recoms, and of course Lyle said yes, and no doubt Z-dog were also onboard for what Lyle called a “Nephew and Aunt/Uncle night”.

“Sweetheart can I talk with you? In private?” Miles asked you. You were sitting with Spider and talking quietly. You looked a bit hesitant at his request. “I just want to talk. I just want some answers, and of course if you don’t want to then we don’t have to. But I remember that one time many years ago, when you and I had just gotten together, how you told me that talking with someone can help process loss, trauma and any other destressing emotion.” You nodded in acknowledgement at his words.

“Sure, we can talk, but what about Spider? You sure you just want him running around?”

“Don’t worry (y/n)! We’ll take him.” Lyle walked calmly into the room with Z-dog and just like Mils had expected she too looked pleased with this outcome. “C’mon little monkey! Let’s leave your folks to talk.”

Spider nodded, and though he had never been alone with those two before, he still looked a bit excited. “Bye Mom, love you.” He hugged you before turning to Miles. “Hurt her and you’ll regret it.” He threatened before happily skipping over to the two recoms.

“Shall we?” Asked Miles and held his hand out for you to take, but you ignored it and stood up on your own and walked towards Miles’ room.

------

You immediately went to yours and Spiders bed and sat down and Miles did the same, though he didn’t touch the bed, because apparently that was disrespectful, and you had been very close to clawing his eyes out the last and only time he had touched it.

“Sweetheart I’m sorry for all you had to lose. Hometree, me, your sister and what ever else that you lost those days.” He said gently and truthfully.

“Grace. I lost Grace too.”

“You lost Augustine?”

“Yeah you killed her, shot her when she, Jake and the others escaped from Hell’s Gate.” You sounded so sad, and Miles knew that Augustine had meant a lot to you.

“I recall shooting at the helicopter, but unfortunately, I can’t remember getting told of her death.”

“I told you the last time you and I ever talked to each other.” You mumbled, it seemed as if those memories weighed heavily on your shoulders.

“I take it, that it didn’t end well.”

“No, it didn’t.”

*Flashback*

(y/n) POV

You had just gotten the news that Grace had died from Max, it would have been too suspicious if both of you had gone and participated in the videocall, so Max was the one to deal with them. Besides you also had your son to worry about and right now you trusted nobody else but Max. You hadn’t spoken to Miles either, you felt betrayed. You had wasted so many hours trying to make him see Pandora, trying to make him understand that this wasn’t just savage people, but that they actually had something beautiful going on. And what had Miles done? Well he had ignored every single conversation and lesson and had decided to burn Hometree. He and Parker had destroyed everything and you had for days now, not been able to connect with you Avatar, because they knew that it was with the people, just like Graces and Jakes. Everything hurt. And though you loved Miles with everything, you couldn’t ignore what he had done. The man you thought you knew and who had promised you that he would do everything in his power to make sure that this conflict was settled peacefully, had betrayed you. You were sitting in you room, which haven’t been in use for a good year, and your son, Miles, had been put to sleep in his cradle, and was snoozing peacefully, not knowing the pain his mother was feeling and if it was up to you he would never. Without knocking someone stepped into your room and when looking up, your heart dropped to your stomach. There stood Miles, your fiancé, and he looked very annoyed.

“Pray tell why you’ve decided to stay in this dusty room, when there’s a perfectly comfortable bed in our room, which you’ve decorated to your hearts content.” Your fiancé inquired to which you coldly answered:

“This is my room, if you’ve forgotten and we’re perfectly comfortable here.”

“And is there a reason why you’ve decide to ‘spice up’ the living arrangements, I can certainly get all of our thing moved here, but the space is significantly smaller.”

“No thanks, I think Miles and I will do quite fine here…. Alone..”

“Darlin’, I do not like what you’re hinting at. Are you saying that you don’t want me here with the two of you.”

“Yes.”

“That’s ridiculous!” He raised his voice and baby Miles started squirming in the crib, and you quickly went and shushed him. “You can’t keep me from my son.” He spoke after your son had fallen asleep again.

“Maybe not, but I would prefer that my son stay away from murderers.”

“Really (y/n) is that what I am? Darlin’ they’re nothing but savages, meaningless, brainless people, who’s standing in the way. If they just left that damn tree, then it wouldn’t have come to this.”

“It wasn’t just a tree! Have you forgotten everything I told you?” You whispered angrily. “They have lived in that tree for generations! And unlike fucking humans, they actually care for the nature around them, and they don’t take more than needed! And besides you didn’t just kill some of them, you also fucking killed Grace!”

“Oh really? Is that how you see us humans? I think you’ve spend to much time with them, you certainly are starting to sound like those traitors, perhaps it was a good thing that I killed that bitch, she certainly has brainwashed you. But it won’t matter tomorrow we’ll fly out destroy that ‘Tree of souls’ and then when we’ve won, us three can settle down and live peacefully together.” Miles reached out and caressed you cheek. “I’ll make you forget everything about those savages, and I’ll make sure that horrendous body of yours is disposed of.”

Anger coursed through your veins and you harshly ripped his hand away from you. “You are a fucking monster! I can’t believe that I ever thought that I could make you see. Have you been stringing me along all this time. Was any of it ever true? You told me that you wanted to settle this conflict peacefully! Have you been planning this all along?” You broke down crying.

“Who cares? What’s done is done, and it is so much easier this way. After this you and I will be married and then we can live peacefully with our son.”

The rage took over, and you tore your engagement ring off your finger and threw it at him. “I refuse to marry a fucking monster! Take your damn ring, give it to someone who’s as fucked as you are! I can’t believe that I ever loved you! I trusted you! And you fucking broke that, you lied to me!” You screamed through the snot and the tears.

Miles stood flabbergasted, you knew he had never seen you act like this, and you could see the regret set in. But you were both startled by the sound of your son crying. You quickly went to him and picked him up, and cuddled him to you while gently rocking him in your arms. “It’s okay baby.. calm down.”

“Darlin’, I-“

“Fuck off! I don’t ever want to see you again.” And you turned your back to him, and just continued to comfort your crying son.

*Flashback ends*

You had kept your eyes on the floor while telling Quaritch the last conversation you had with his human self. But when you looked up, you saw something you didn’t expect: Tears. Quaritch was crying. You had never seen him cry, other than the day you gave birth and when you said yes to be his wife. And in spite of all the trauma and hurt you had felt you couldn’t bare to see the man, who had made you fall in love with him again, cry.

“Miles?” You leaned forward and gently laid a hand on his upper arm, tears were also running down your cheeks, and you figured that the both of you probably looked like a big mess. When Miles looked up he saw your tears and gently wiped your tears away, and you did the same.

“It feels like I remember that. I don’t know why or how. But I know that he regretted it till his dying day.” He carefully caressed your cheek, and took a deep breath before looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry sweetheart. Those words, were the words of a monster.” Miles seemed to remember something before shoving his hand down a pocket and pulling something up. He took your hand and unfolded it before carefully laying the object in your hand. When you looked down you saw that it was your engagement ring and tears made their way forward again. “He or rather I had kept it on the same chain as my tags. Probably hoping to give it back to you.” Miles once again wiped your tears away while you inspected the ring. “Technically we’re not the same person, but I have all of his memories up until a certain point, and I know that you meant everything to him. And even now you mean everything to me, you make me whole.” You didn’t let Miles continue, instead you surged forward and connected you lips for the first time in 15 years, and it felt so good. Your body igniting in a way it hadn’t in the past 15 years. Miles clutched you to him his hand going to your hair and gripping your queue and making you moan, your body rocking closer to his. You tore your mouth away from his to get some air and Miles continued to nibble on your jaw.

“Miles we need to stop.” You gasped.

“I know. I know Sweetheart.” He sounded just as out of breath as you and you giggled touching your forehead to his. You both slowly caught your breath, and Miles gently ran his hands up and down your back. You softly pecked his lips a couple of times before removing yourself from his lap.

“I love you, Miles. And I’m not quite ready to forgive you from all the damage, I’ve realised that no matter which form you take I’ll end up loving you. I’m willing to try again. I’m willing to let you into my heart, but please don’t break it. I can’t take another heartbreak.” You admitted and looked into his eyes. Once again he laid his hand on your cheek and this time you nuzzled into it.

“I promise Sweetheart.” He whispered almost in awe of getting a second chance.

“Come sleep with me?” You patted the spot beside you on the bed and Miles eagerly agreed.

You both laid down, with you tucked to his chest, your legs and tails entangling together, almost as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

You knew that the two of you needed to discuss the dilemma with Jake and the General. But for now you cuddled into your Miles and softly sighed out before closing your eyes and succumbing to the darkness of sleep.

Taglist:

@ratchetprime211 @mechformers @iwishiwas-anita @iskamr @yumuramma @isabellekenway @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @callmejod @mochiivqi @sofiebstar @ssc7514 @mikeyswifie @ducks118 @ladylovegood-69

#Colonel Miles Quaritch #Miles Quaritch #miles quaritch imagine #miles quaritch x reader #recom miles quaritch #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar x reader

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nightguide · 2 months ago

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Pendleton Ward sent you to heaven straight away (VA's curse), so you saw your headstone at last, Jeremy

Islamic conventions of what it's like to go to hell and they say in a metaphor to a man who got so fucked up at existing that it hits him, so ur bestie will betray u and u will go to hell (so like the first part is just Shaitaan 'Devil' will take ur body away from ur soul cuz u know now that he works for Allah that the bitch made himself up to please monotheistic pleasure of 'be and make sh*t up as you go along' and the devil was the 'hype' so the hype got so much out of hand like a Demi Lovato knowing you on So Random (Sonny) that she takes u everywhere but here, so u do get setup to see a dream for you to fail in real life) so it's the journey there but u hate being alive so you're made up to be a baby's form of happy by being cute but ur dead by being ugly to an autistic person's reality (preventing war by a 'what if' is a generous father) so ur friend right next to u (Jake the Dog) blinds u on purpose (hence why he never asked Princess Bubblegum out)

sarcasm is a buffering boat so he took the hardest way out by forcing rejection on somebody else (he did not get what he wants so he bitches about it but he met her grand relative in charge to get his way of being exactly who he thinks he is to make a Finn look a whining fck boi) so there is why i put the pretty screenshot cuz i liked the art in the background that i do the same with my optimism (im not the girl he asked out) by believing in material change for him to make sense of what material is (cuz to him it looks like a 'nice adventure') than to believe in a heartbroken airport situation cuz he knew my Dad had more heart to bleed for his baby daughter badass gun encyclopedia dominatrix in cute X Y Z superior but heck, if i were to use the word 'dominatrix', i would give prostitutes a reason to make ends meet by putting in bulimic men to get the shots done worth than making out with random babies in their spare time (so heres Labrinth where Jennifer Connelly got set up for the same situation that even David Bowie cannot even answer, you're his problem now)

don't propose the same idea twice if you wanna ask the girl out so Bubblegum knows correctly that she wanted to live alone with a science buddy than a realising moment for kids in the 2010's to make up boundaries for motherle- did i just make you up by questioning you and your parents is why i did not complete the series when i was younger than me doing it rn, so nothings changed completely if i were to ask Jeremy Shada (voice of Finn) to answer why he made his parents up as an intuitive dreamboat i am (i loved my parents. my mother for her cuteness and father for his inability to give a fck), so how and why the 'legend of no' came to an altruistic realisation of the mount of Arafat never surpassing you until now since you're then typed on, so this is how mindhunter: glee has a task for you to do in your head than contacting Duvochny and Anderson to do it for you, so who's the catch and why in VA's millions huh?

Jake ends the point in the beginning which is why he carries it on. (dead til separated (y/n insert toon that lasts forever which is why it's a timeless watch)

#i talk to him like HE'S my royally fucked up ex-boyfriend for a MUSLIM LMAO #im a muslim now #hehe #kudos from the 11th doctor

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artificialbreezy · 3 years ago

Text

Jake Kiszka NSFW Alphabet

1Warnings: minors DNI, smut smut smut

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word count: 1464

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Biggest dom in the book man. So he obviously knows how to take care of you. He always has water on the bedside table, and a towel ready to wipe your face. After he gets you kinda cleaned up, he'll run you a shower and get you in and then jump in himself and wash your body, and then your hair. And he'll carry you to bed once he gets you cleaned up fully.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you, it's definitely your legs, man he loves your legs. Firm believer in thick thighs saves lives. They're always so soft and comfortable for when he lays in your lap, but also amazing ear muffs for when he devours you.

On himself, the man plays guitar. His hands. He can move his fingers rather fast and he knows how much that drives you crazy. And plus, his hands just look good. Especially, wrapped around your throat.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Honestly, the man will ONLY cum inside you. He's a possessive man. It's his way of marking you as his. And my god, the view of his cum leaking out of you, just drives him up a wall. LOVES it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

His biggest fantasy right now, is to fuck in an empty concert venue. He knows it's a little risky, but something about the thought just gets him really going. But he also knows that there is never really a time to do that so for now he will keep daydreaming about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a rockstar so you'd think pretty experienced. But before you, he was a nerdy, emo kid from frankenmuth. So he really didn't get too much action. But he wasn't a virgin by any means when you two got together. He has always gotten you off, so he knows what to do.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, it depends on his mood. Sometimes it's doggie and other times it's missionary and then sometimes it's riding.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He loves a little bit of giggle if it's not a punishment session, or a rougher session.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty well kept up to be honest. He doesn't keep it bare, but he does have a slight stubble.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

All about you, making sure you get praised. Sweet, and soft kisses along your jawline and neck. Gentle touches to your body, slow and sweet sex. Just making sure you feel loved.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Honestly, he'll do it if he needs to. Like if you're not there, or for some reason you're not in the mood. Other than that, if he does do it, he prefers to have you on facetime or a phone call so he can hear your noises as you guys get off together.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Man has a lot, here we go. But we'll do the top 3.

Breeding kink- he LIVES to see his cum dripping out of you

Daddy/Sir kink- he is 100% dom. And when in those sessions, he will only accept daddy or sir

Breath play- He loves hearing you struggle to breathe when his hands around your throat. And that smile you get when he first chokes you, my god he knows you're a slut for him and he loves it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mainly the bedroom, he likes to have some sort of privacy when he ruins you. But he`s also pretty hype to fuck you on the couch.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your body, my god. He has never seen anything more perfect to him.

Watching you jam out against the barricade at his show. He knows you're gonna be drenched when he's done and he honestly can't wait to devour you once he's done. Thankfully he has a guitar to hide his boner.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

CNC. Absolutely not. He can't seem to get into that, it scares him a little bit and he wouldn't do anything to even hurt you like that. Whether you wanted him to or not. Hard no from Jacob Kiszka.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Man loves when you ride his face. Just having you grind against his tongue when he makes a mess of you, my god yes.

But if youre giving, man oh man, he loves the way your mouth feels wrapped around him. He doesn't know what you do or even how you do it, all he knows is he will nut in probably 5 minutes.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends. Sometimes he`s fast as fuck and rough and other times hes slow and sweet.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

YES. Just yes, sometimes he just needs to feel you before a show or even just while you guys are at his parents. He'll sneak into the bathroom while you're showering, just so he can get you off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely, he`ll try mostly anything once, as long as you're game to try too.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last a while quite honestly. And you're not complaining. Usually that can equal up to 3 hours of a session.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

My god yes. He really doesn't use them on himself, just you. But only to tease you, never to fully get you off because that's his job. Unless he's not there. Then you have options on which toy youre feeling, on one condition, you call so he can hear you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will tease you for hours, until you are so desperate he laughs. He calls you his pathetic little toy and my god that just sends you over the edge.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He always had to share a room with Josh growing up, and he's always with his band mates so he's typically pretty quiet. Unless you're alone. Then he's pretty vocal. But even when he has to be quiet, he'll get in your ear and whisper sweet nothings, or he'll degrade you and get you so far on the edge you're crying.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He was sitting on the tour bus one night while the guys were sleeping. It was around 3:30 in the morning and he just couldn't sleep. The only thing on his mind was you. So he did what he could, since he couldn't call and talk you through anything, he texted you. To which you replied. ``Baby, I can't get you off my mind. Can I please see you?`` is what the text read, you left him on read for a couple minutes so he thought you'd fallen asleep. To his surprise, he got a picture of your half naked body on his side of the bed, which just sent him over the edge. He needed to get off and he needed too soon. Before he could respond he got a video, it was kind of dark but he could make out that it was a toy between your legs, just going to town, trying to get yourself off. He quickly grabbed his headphones and started playing the videos. ``Oh god, please Sir.`` You sounded so desperate and needy. The minute he heard you moan his name he was done for. Mess all over his chest and he knew it was his turn to encourage you to get off.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, so he isn't HUGE. But he is kinda packing. Around 7 and half inches with a slight curve.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Man is horny damn near 24/7. So any time you truly are in the mood, he jumps right on it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He usually falls asleep pretty quickly quite honestly. He'll pull you close to him after your guys` shower, and he'll just pass out holding you.

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i-writes-things · 3 years ago

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The Secret.

Part 6 pt.? pt.1

Avengers x Fem!reader

(+ \) Platonic, Angst

summary- The newest Avenger keeps a big secret from the rest if the team....

Warnings- mentions of triggers, and swearing.

I actually made this gif!

You sat in silence barely able to see, head swirling, but you knew exactly where you were.

You stood up woozily and regained your eye sight, seeing the plexi glass all around you on the walls.

You sigh, no way to escape from here. You weren't going to give up that easily though

Just as the smells all come back to you, the acid of the food they made you eat, your filth of never having a shower, the horrible mens perfume you had to smell around the clock, and the smell of burning metal making you go insane.

You don't let yourself think of what they would do to Jake if they had him here now or if they were after him.

You snapped your head towards the door, hearing quiet footsteps from outside your room, your head swimming through different thoughts of who it could be,

And guess who greets you from the other side...

Z-...

~~~~~

Steve wakes up in a sweat, seeing that he is sitting next to three of his co-workers and some of the other Avengers.

Remembering broken pieces from the night before.

Tony's next to awaken and Steve is already cutting the ropes off the co-workers almost to Tony.

"Would- would you go a bit faster, Captain." Tony says catching his breath.

Steve just glares at Tony and continues to cut the ropes. Tony wakes up Clint next to him

"Wher- what happened guys?" Clint asks sleepily.

"I personally thi-" Steve cuts Tony off

"Hydra. It was Hydra, they are the only ones I know of that could do something like this." Steve said skipping Tony on purpose and going to start cutting Clint out of his ropes.

Tony groans talking back to Steve "Yeah, seems logical Cap. Making clones of us, pretty sophisticated for Hydra." he says sarcastically

"Could have been Robots?" Suggests a now very awake Thor.

"Good point, Point Break." Tony says thinking on Thor's thought further

"I did shoot myself and he went down for a few moments like it was reboot itself." Clint Chimes in now free of rope.

Clint nudges Bruce to try and wake him, but nothing happens, he's like jello.

Steve went to cut Thor, after doing bruce quickly, but Thor flexed his muscles and most of the ropes popped off, hitting Bruce and Steve hard in the face.

Bruce wakes up with a start, his heart racing but, feeling a bit better once he sees all his friends.

Tony laughed hysterically while Steve cut him out, waking there co-workers next to them.

~~~~~

Natasha however was not at the Compound as of right she was headed to your apartment, actually wanting to talk with you privately, about... Well multiple things, but what she found was worse than she what she was expecting.

She looked down at the address and uo at the building one more time before heading inside.

She found your room on the 3rd floor, locked door as expected she knocked waiting to hear you.

Nothing. She knocked again "Hey, Y/n/n it is Nat! I just wanna talk." She says hoping you would come to the door.

Nothing.

She got suspicious and rang the doorbell, waiting for more than enough time, she broke in, hoping to god that there wasn't a silent alarm system or that you would be standing right about to open the door.

"Y/n?" Hand on her gun, walking in slowly.not seeing any site of you.

She notices a framed picture of a baby boy, waiting for your response, hoping nothing had happened to you.

She thinks for a moment that its the wrong apartment, but then she sees a picture of you and the team all standing together when you first got there, framed right over your framed S.h.i.e.l.d. certificate.

She grins remember those times, but started to think back to the baby picture.

"She would have told us." She whispers to herself not thinking too much about the picture, walking into your empty kitchen.

Checking it out for herself finding, baby food in the fridge, a high chair in the living room, multiple toys in your din, and a whole room for a toddler, a crib, animal stickers on the walls, blankets, pacifiers everywhere.

She lowers her gun, realizing. It clicked, it had finally clicked.

You had a kid, a son.

She quickly went to search the rest of the house not finding either of you, this time actually looking for a baby.

She did however find your laptop, not wanting to invade but did anyway, as it seemed you were missing and highly suspicious right now.

It was open to a Word Document

Tell the team ASAP

You have a son, Jake L/N

Hydra had found you, and called your home phone last night.

Where to find Jake if you randomly disappeared:

Day Care #63892927 The corner of Maple Ln. and Tyvola Rd. 2726

Babysitter Jane #63845291 The Richard Apartment Complex on 5th in the city, room 423

Mrs. Bobbi next door in room 309

Natasha read it and almost cried, were you gone? did hydra have you? Should she try to find Jake for you or go to find the rest of the Team about this first?

"Damn it." She said cursing herself out, leaving your apartment...

Part 6!! I at first had it going a whole different direction, glad I went back and changed it up before posting, I like this one much more! ❤️ And thank you soooo much for 22 BESTIESS ahhhh!!!(22 followers) Love you guys! ‼️❤️❤️

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morizoras-cave · 4 years ago

Text

Trespasser (Request)

Tom Holland x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Jake Gyllenhaal x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: tom holland x teen!costar!reader and jake gyllenhaal x teen!costar!reader (or just one of them lol) where they're at the red carpet for the premiere of their new movie. suddenly, a fan sneaks onto the red carpet and inappropriately touches/attacks the reader. tom and jake are super pissed and get super protective over the reader. thank you!

Warnings: harassment, inappropriate touching, creepy dude, language

(A/N): LMAO NOT @ ME FOR ACCIDENTALLY POSTING THIS BEFORE IT WAS DONE EYE,,, anyway this is my first gender neutral post. im very happy to be able to include more people in my fics, and i apologize for previously exclusively having female pronouns :) also thank you to @goblinsbones for bringing the whole gender neutral thing to my attention!

“Alright, you’re on soon!” someone yelled from the backstage area. The crowd of fans and journalists was already cheering from behind the curtain.

You and the rest of the cast of Spiderman: Far From Home were standing in your gorgeous suits and dresses waiting for the red carpet. You had all worked so hard on the movie to give it your all, and it had finally payed off. You finally felt the pride as you stood at the premiere.

You hadn’t had a huge role in the new Spiderman movie. At least not yet. Kevin Feige, Marvel’s boss and the Man With The Plan™ had informed you, that you small character would be much more important in the upcoming Spiderman movie. Of course, you had to keep shush about that.

Either way, you’d grown very close to the cast. You had first feared that it would be awkward and that you would be an outsider, given that you were quite a bit younger than them, but that hadn’t been the case.

You and Zendaya basically texted or hung out everyday, you and Jacob pranked everyone together, you and Tom had heated discussion about movies, and you kept Jake informed on Gen Z culture. You loved each one of them dearly.

“You nervous?” Jake asked. He was looking in the mirror one last time, adjusting his tie. You grimaced and shrugged.

“A little bit, but I’m okay,” you said, “I’m mostly excited. I can’t wait to see all the fans. I hope I lived up to their expectations.”

“Well, I don’t know about them, but you lived up to my expectations, kid. And I actually know what I’m talking about!” Jake joked and finally turned to face you. You scoffed and giggled.

“Alright, it’s starting now!” the same man who had yelled before informed, and you saw him scurrying off to a distant corner of the backstage area.

“I guess we’re doing it,” Zendaya said. She was beautiful as always, her amazing taste in style showing through her butterfly dress.

First she went through the curtains, the crowd screaming and roaring. You felt a little bit more nervous then, wondering if they would cheer as hard for you.

Then Jacob went through, and then a lady gestured for you to walk through, which you did. A smile immediately adorned your face. The people cheered for you. There were so many smiling fans further down the carpet and the sky was blue and bright. The sun beamed on your skin, as you took a couple of steps down the red carpet.

There was nothing to be nervous about, you realized. It was awesome.

Jake and Tom followed after you, and then began the slow decent down the carpet. First, past the photographers and then the area with the journalists (arguably the worst part), before arriving at the most exciting part. The fans. The long stretch where fans stood on either side, eyes gleaming in adoration.

You smiled and waved, expressing your joy. Tom and Jake, walking behind you, smiled when they saw your excitement. It was your first big movie premiere.

You were too caught up in the moment, so happy you could burst, to notice or hear the bustle and yelling happening just a little bit behind you, between you and Jake.

No, you didn’t notice that at all, not until you felt a hand on your waist and your shoulder, making you jump. The hand kept you from scurrying away, and spun you around the face the person.

You just assumed it was Jake or Tom or a bodyguard or something. You were wrong. Spinning around you came face to face with a random man, probably 20 or so years older than you. You’d never seen him in your life, and the moment you processed that, his touch on your body felt like a burning, blaring alarm.

“Y/N!” he yelled over the sounds of the fans talking and screaming. His spit hit your face. You tried to grab his arms and pull them off you, but his hold only tightened. “I’m such a big fan! Please! Please, can you sign my shirt?”

You were thrashing and desperately trying to pull him off you, every inch of you showing discomfort and disgust with his hold on you, but he seemed oblivious, or maybe he just didn’t care.

“Get off of me!”

Finally, a hand roughly pulled the man from you, releasing you. You almost fell over, your body hurling away from him. Your vision blurred for a moment, but remembering where you were, you blinked back your tears.

Jake’s hand was digging into the guys shoulder, and you saw the guy twisting in pain. Jake was yelling something, something about “how dare you!” and “what gives you the right to touch them?” His jaw clenched and unclenched.

Tom was marching over as well, and angry look on his face. He got close to the man as well, yelling now too (”You fucking scum!”). Then, across the carpet, he turned his head and his eyes caught yours. He halted. He saw you, hugging yourself, chest heaving, as you struggled to hold back your tears. This was supposed to be fun.

Tom’s heart broke. It broke because he knew the experience was ruined. You’d been so excited. And for what? For some jerk to mess it up for you?

He suddenly felt no urge to yell at the guy, no, he just padded over to you, and brought you into a hug without a word. You stood there.

“I’m so sorry, N/n,” he whispered. With him so close, you could finally hear. “He had no right to hold you like that.”

“It’s not your fault,” you muttered. Tom didn’t answer then and you both just stood there in a hug, warm and nice, holding each other.

You felt a hand gently placed on your back and looked up to see Jake. He smiled at you gently, although you could tell he was suppressing a lot of anger. He and Tom made eye contact for a moment, then both looked at you.

“Alright guys, we better go,” Jake said and both you and Tom nodded.

You begun to walk, but this time you felt Jake settle on one side of you and then Tom at the other. They both grabbed the hand of yours that was on their side, and then you started walking down the carpet again.

You saw some fans awwing, some still outraged at the man’s actions, and some completely clueless. Either way, you held on to Tom and Jake. The warmth of their hands in yours, made a sense of security and safety swirl in your chest. You smiled.

“Thank you!” you said to no one in particular, but the squeeze of your hands let you know that they heard. Although, if you asked them no thank you was needed. No one should be allowed to scare their little sib, and goddamnit they would make sure of that.

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman cast x reader #x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #Marvel cast x reader #MCU cast x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers cast x reader #avengers cast x teen!reader #tom holland ff #jake gyllenhaal ff

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whew-oh-em-gee · 4 years ago

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The green-eyed monster

Warnings: the green eyed monster, of course! Implied smut and a couple of swear words. Oh! And me attempting to put in song references.

Jake Gyllenhaal x Fem!reader

I hope you enjoy it!

Jealousy, also referred to by many as the green-eyed monster, is the act of feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else.

You had never really been the jealous type. Never. However, something about this situation was very different. Could it be because this was not an event you were familiar with? Could it be because the lady affectionately laughing while placing her hand on your boyfriend’s chest, was capable of buying most of your possessions, if not all of them, with half of her paycheck? Or could it be because your insecurities about how you looked, despite being told you looked gorgeous by your boyfriend, suddenly decided to make themselves known?

Whatever the reason was, you were jealous. And that was that.

Now the question is, how did you get here in the first place?

4 hours ago

“Don’t fret. You look gorgeous, honey! “ you boyfriend exclaimed, finally exhausted by the number of questions you asked about how you looked, while you were having a mini freak out in front of the full body length mirror in your shared bedroom. Jake genuinely thought you looked amazing in anything you wore and it irks him whenever you don’t acknowledge that as well.

Noticing the hint of expiration in his tone, you apologized.

“I’m sorry. I just...” you paused, sighing, as you tried to find the right words. “I just don’t want to let you down. There are going to be a lot of extremely beautiful women there and I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. Especially since this is going to be the first event we’re going to together.”

With a light chuckle, Jake pressed his lips to your forehead.

“You worry too much. You look wonderful and I don’t care about all the other women because you are the only beautiful woman I’ll see.” He said, cupping your face his big hands and stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.

You smiled and tried your best not to cry because of how sweet Jake was being. You weren’t ready to mess up your make up because it was time consuming and quite expensive.

“I love you.” You finally uttered after a moment of silence, consisting of you two staring into each other’s eyes.

“I love you too, baby. Now come on. We’re gonna be late.” Jake murmured before taking your hand and tugging you out of the room and out of your shared apartment towards the rented car that was waiting for you outside.

Half an hour later, you both found yourself in the midst of many well-known actors, directors and producers. Jake pulled you along as he greeted the people he recognized and introduced you to them, if they hadn’t met you already.

“Hubby!” you heard a familiar voice call out, over the loud party music that was playing. You knew that voice quite well. Maybe too well.

Tom Holland that proud owner of the voice, accompanied by Zendaya, made his way to you and Jake.

“Well, well, well isn’t it my prodigal husband.” Jake joked as he embraced to in a side hug. Meanwhile you and Zendaya, who has become close friends the moment you met each other some time ago, smothered each other with kisses as you giggled in unison.

The four of you spent the next hour cracking jokes, while catching up with each other’s lives. That was until you were interrupted

“Jacob,” a feminine voice purred “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

All the attention moved to where the voice came from.

“Joey! Hi! It has been a while.” Jake responded, hugging her.

Zendaya looked at you with a raised eyebrow as ‘Jo’, as Jake affectionately called her started conversing with him.

You shrugged in response, answering her silent question. You had no idea who this newcomer was.

“Oh how could I forget?! Tom, Z, Y/N, this is Jolene, an old friend.” Jake introduced.

Jolene? How fitting. You suddenly felt Dolly Parton’s pain when she sang her song with the same title as this lady’s name.

Jolene giggled. “Old friend? Is that what you call all your exes now?”

“You knew what I meant, Jo.” Jake rolled his eyes playfully.

She let out more giggles.

You opened your mouth to say ‘hi’ but you were interrupted by Jolene talking again.

“Oh my god, Jacob! You absolutely have to meet someone.” She pulled Jake away from your group and towards whoever she wanted him to meet.

You blinked rapidly, trying to process what just happened.

“That was…interesting.” Tom deadpanned, earning an elbow to the ribs from Z. “Hey!” he protested rubbing the spot he was hit.

You raised your head, looking up at the ceiling. “Y/N, what are you doing?” Z asked in confusion.

“I wanna cry but my foundation cost me thirty-five dollars.” You muttered, trying to blink away the tears that were forming.

Not today, Satan, not today.

Tom’s snort quickly morphed into another exclamation of pain when he got elbowed at the same spot again by the same person.

“Aww hun, you don’t need to cry. It’s not worth it?” Z asked rubbing your back soothingly.

“His ex does seem kinda bossy, to be honest.”

Z gasped, “Thomas Stanley Holland, the next time you do something that will make the situation worse, I. Will. End. You.”

“It’s alright, Z” you sighed, as you fished through your purse to find anything to help you with keeping the tears as bay, “He’s right.”

“I think I’m going to talk to him.” Tom said, leaving before any of you could react.

Z turned to you “Y/N-“

“No, no.” you butted in “It’s okay! I’m okay! I’m just going to head home.”

Oh boy, were you lying.

Who were you kidding? She was beautiful! All Jake’s exes probably were the same. What did he see in you anyway? Why did you decide to come here at all? Ugh! Jolene, please don’t take my man.

Finally, bringing your head down to its original position, you dubbed your eyes gently and put your brave face on and made your way to the exit.

You were not going to cry here. You were not going to cry here. You were not going to cry-

“Y/N!” You heard you boyfriend’s voice shout from afar.

You stood still, taking a deep breath.

You can do this Y/N. Elsa was able to do it. Don’t forget. Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let him know.

“Y/N.” you heard him again, only closer this time.

You opened your eyes and there he stood, right in front of you, in all his handsome glory.

“Where are you going, love?” Jake asked with a slight tilt of his head.

“You seemed very much occupied with that Jolene of yours so I decided to head home.”

Jake raised an eyebrow.

And now he knows. Fuck.

“Really? That sounds like-“

“Yes, Jacob. I am jealous because she’s extremely pretty and you are probably still attracted to her.”

Let it goooo, let it goooo. Can’t hold it back anymore. Damn, you feel so much like Elsa right now. Why on earth were you thinking about Frozen anyway?!

“Babe!” he laughed, stunned at your revelation. “What did I tell you before we left the apartment?”

You sighed.

“I know it’s just… I don’t feel like I’m enough for you sometimes and coming here just makes me feel like I’m not enough for you all the time.”

Jake shook his head, sighing, and pulled out his phone without a word.

“What are you doing?” you asked, curious.

“I’m getting us an Uber.”

“Why?”

“It looks like someone has to have all her insecurities fucked out of her.”

You blanched and looked around.

“Jacob!” you whisper-yelled between clenched teeth looking around to check if anyone had heard what he said.

He placed a hand on each of your shoulders. “I love you so, so, so much. Please don’t let anyone including yourself make you think otherwise. You won my heart fair and square and you own it, baby. Besides, Jolene is married anyway. ”

“What?! Really?”

“Yeah. “He chuckled.

“She took me to meet her wife. Honestly, it was quite boring. I felt like I was third wheeling. I’m glad Tom saved me.”

“I’m sorry.” You pouted.

“It’s alright, babe.” He said offering his hand which you took “Come on, let’s get of here.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Bonus

“So…your inner green-monster came out, huh.” Your boyfriend whispered as you two cuddled in bed, in your pajamas.

“Jacob, it is 2 am .Why are you thinking about THAT at 2 am?”

Author’s note: I really don't know what to feel about this. I loved writing it, though! I would love to hear from you! What do you think about it?

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal fluff #jake gyllenhaal imagines #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction

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captainhotch · 6 years ago

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Not Friends, With Benefits | Jake Peralta

Jake Peralta x Reader

Sunmary; You and Jake were friends with benefits— ok, maybe friends was a bit too strong of a word?

You and Jake had a thing going— a dynamic that worked for the two of you pretty well, even if none of the squad knew about it.

Since you had joined the 99 a little over a year ago, the pair of you had been at each others throat. Something about you just didn’t click, as Terry had put it. Though Gina insisted that it was a huge understatement, and that you flat out hated each others guts.

Gina’s theory was more spot on. His childish humor and constant need for approval drove you up the wall. According to Jake you were so uptight that you already lived on the ceiling. He might’ve been right, but as a woman forced to work twice as hard to get to where you were, you felt it was a little warrented. Not to mention the fact that you were a textbook type A personality to his type Z.

In spite of this mutual distain, neither of you could deny that there was an attraction. A primal, sexual energy as Boyle had so vividly and disgustingly described with a growl.

The tension got so bad that Holt refused to put you two on a case together, calling it a suicide mission because he was confident Jake would kill you and then himself before you even made an arrest.

Once again, he wasn’t wrong.

Things shifted slightly on one particular case where you were forced to work together. According to Holt, your background in psychology plus Peralta’s never ending pot of movie references made you the perfect pair.

After much arguing and debating and you almost jumping out the window of his moving car, you finally caught the perp. Admittedly, the sight of Jake slamming the guy against the wall and reading him his rights did something to you— which you were definitely not proud of. Not to mention he quoted Star Wars, aka your favorite movie of all time.

Fast foreward to Shaw’s later that evening, where you were sat at the bar nursing your second glass of whiskey. You weren’t drunk, but you did have a warm tingly feeling in your chest. One that you welcomed. Peralta took a seat beside you, ordering a drink for himself and a refill for you.

Somehow you ended up in his apartment, pinned between the door and Jake’s body, with his lips glued to your neck. Apparently his mouth was good for something other then floundering awkwardly and making bad jokes.

Fast foreward yet again to current day, where Jake, yet again had you pinned up against the wall. This time it was the evidence locker at the presinct and his lips were on yours, a warm hand underneath the fabric of your blouse.

You ran a hand through his hair, tugging as he nipped at your bottom lip. If there was anything Jake loved, you learned that it was your hands in his hair. He almost loved it as much as you loved his lips on your neck.

Slowly Jake moved his lips from your own to your jaw, taking his sweet time suckling on the skin and probably leaving a mark. “Watch it,” you hissed, though it came out as more of a moan, “—I think they’ll notice if I come back with a hickey.”

Jake laughed quietly, pulling back so he could look at you. He loved when your cheeks were all flushed from making out. If Jake was being honest, he loved a lot more then that about you— not that he’d ever tell you that. Hating you was too much fun. Though lately it had become more of a chore then anything.

Especially since you stopped leaving his place at night, waking up beside him instead. If you asked Jake you were far too pretty when you first woke up to be anything less then a robot.

“Oh, don’t worry, we already noticed,” a voice called out, the lights of the evidence locker flashing on. You swore you could feel your heart in your ass.

Jake was frozen in his spot, his hand still firmly placed on your bare stomach underneath your shirt.

“You honestly thought you could keep a secret from me? I’m Gina Linetti.”

“Gina,” you began, standing up straight and urging Jake to pull himself together, “—listen we can keep this between us. Nobody has to get hurt here.”

“Yeah,” Jake finally piped up, though his facial expression was one of panic and constipation, “I was just— helping a fellow detective. She had a— uh— a spider on her! Yeah! It climbed under her shirt and I was trying to help her get it off.”

Gina tsked, leaning against a shelf stacked high with boxes, “With your lips?”

Jake only nodded, scratching at the back of his head. There was no way out of this one.

“I’m on hundred percent certain that if there was actual a spider on y/n you’d record it on your phone.”

You only nodded, realizing that it was a fair point. Sure your hatred for Peralta had boiled down to a annoyance every now and then somewhat recently. To be quite honest you had stopped leaving his house before morning because you enjoyed talking to him when you woke up. The conversation was dumb and mindless but it was real.

“Look, Gina, just don’t tell anyone. Please.” Jake begged, stepping foreward in an obvious attempt to trigger what little empathy the woman had in her.

You were almost positive she was an actual sociopath.

“Too late,” someone piped up from behind Gina. You groaned at the sight of Rosa and her stupid, smug smirk. “Nice job, Peralta.”

“Right?!” Jake grinned, fistbumping Rosa, “She’s way too hot for me. I don’t even know how I got here.”

“Focus!” Gina yelled out, reclaiming the attention, “The point is everyone knows.”

“Yeah,” Rosa responded, nodding as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other, “—we had bets on how long it would take you guys to crack and let it all out. You didn’t think we’d be suspicious when Jake suddenly started showing up to work on time?”

“Fair point,” you nodded, ignoring the flaming of your cheeks.

You were beyond embarrassed to have been caught in that situation. Though you supposed it was better for Rosa and Gina to find you then Captain Holt.

“Well who won the bet?” Jake questioned, pulling you into his side. You were half tempted to elbow him in his ribs, but ultimately decided that Jake was warm and smelled nice and they knew already so what could it hurt, right?

“Holt,” Rosa shrugged.

“Yeah, he cleaned up,” Gina laughed, throwing her head back, “50 dollars per person. Best believe I’m gonna get my cut.” She added in a sing-song voice.

“At least we have his approval,” Jake shrugged, tugging on your hair lightly in normal Jake Peralta fashion.

You rolled your eyes, flicking his cheek, “We’re not dating you dweeb. Just some casual closet time.”

“Title of your sex tape!” Jake grinned, “And not yet.”

#jake peralta x reader #jake peralta imagine #jake peralta #jake peralta one shot #gina linetti #risa diaz #amy santiago #brooklyn 99 imagine #brooklyn 99 #b99 #b99 imagine #brooklyn 99 one shot

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vspideycaptain · 5 years ago

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The Aftermath (The Real War Sequel) Part 1

Reader x Tom Holland x Chris Evans (Not a 3-way)

A/N: Please read ‘The Real War’ fic first! This is a direct sequel to that story. We last left off with you and Zendaya running out of the party where Chris and Tom were fighting over you.

You are now waking up to Zendaya giving you your phone which has been blown up overnight by texts. It’s time to take action. What will you do?

Warnings: Angst, Swearing WORD COUNT: 1,250

---------------------------

I woke up to the sound of the door to the room I was sleeping in being opened. It was like hearing glass shattering due to the way my head was pounding. The mixture of my slight hangover and the many hours of crying I had done the night before left me as a shell of a human being as I opened my eyes in the brightly sun-lit room. Zendaya approached me sitting on the edge of the bed and handing me my phone, “It was smart to leave it in the kitchen once we got home last night. You have like a hundred messages.” She informed me and I winced as I sat up too and started to examine the inbox damage.

3 texts from Jacob from 2 AM: “I’m so sorry (Y/N/N).”, “I sobered up as soon as Tom started singing and I couldn’t believe what Jake and I had done.”, “We tried defused the situation as soon as we could after you left but I’m still so sorry. Call me in the morning.”

12 texts from Tom last night: “Where did you go?”, “I can’t find you”, “fuck”, “fuck fuck fuck”, “shit”, “please text me back… I’m sorry.”, “I’m so so sorry.”, “please let me explain”, “come back!”, “Fucking hell”, “I’m so confused”, “You have to explain too… Come back!”

And one from this morning… “Hey. I had one too many last night huh? Can we talk this over in the light of day? Text me or call me when you read this. Hope you slept okay. X”

“Tom wasn’t happy with me last night was he?” I turned to Zendaya. “I don’t think he was particularly happy with anyone. I got about 4 or 5 texts from him that weren’t the nicest. What did Chris say?” She asked gingerly and I turned back to my phone.

One voicemail. I listened to it, “Hey…” he started to say and then a long pause. I think I heard a sniffle and then he ended the call.

A half hour later at about 12:45 AM he sent two texts: “(Y/N) , first of all I can’t express to you how sorry I am for acting so childish. I’ve never acted like an 8-year-old so much since I was 8. Everything just kind of rubbed me the wrong way and I got worked up and started taking shots. Which, admittedly, is not the adult way to go about things either. I just left the party and I ended up talking to Tom again… Can I see you?”, “Take your time. I hope you’re sleeping all this off. Sweet dreams.”

With that I fall my head back down to my pillow and toss my phone to Z for her to read and dissect. “What happened after I left last night?” I thought. I know what Zen and I did. She helped me out of my clothes and in to pjs then washed my face clean of all makeup as I cried and replayed every little event of the night in my head. I shut my eyes tight afraid to start doing it all again and have the tears well up once more but then my phone started to go off in Zendaya’s hand.

“Who is it?” I shot back up in a panic and took my phone back from her. It was Jake and so I answered. “Hello?” I started the conversation. “(Y/N)! Thank god! I am so sorry!” He started and man was that the right way to go. I was still so pissed off at him and Jacob for starting this whole thing. I didn’t forgive him just yet so I didn’t say anything and let my friend continue to ramble into my ear. “So I just had to tell you. After you left, Jacob and I, we felt awful and to make up for it we thought to take action. Jacob grabbed Tom off the stage and guided him to Robert’s kitchen and I followed them having pulled Chris away from RDJ. You still there?” he asked as I still hadn’t said anything. I let out an ‘mhm’ to let him know I was listening and I put him on speaker for Zendaya to listen as he continued, “Okay.. Sorry.. So as soon as Chris and Tom laid eyes on each other being in the same room they started to yell again. It got a little ugly but the three of us kept them apart and calmed them down. We sat them down at the counter and told them what we knew.” I stopped him, “what is it that you know… I wasn’t exactly aware that you knew my situation.” I spoke in a highly irritated voice and Jake answered back quickly, “Jacob told me everything Zendaya told him. I found out right before the party started…. So what Jacob and I said was that they’re anger was the reason for you leaving and then they fought us for awhile as they blamed us for you leaving as we were the ones who dropped the bomb but you know, its everyone’s fault I think.” He rambled, “And then told them that you clearly didn’t want to hurt either of them but since everything was so up in the air you were using the party as a way to find some answers so she could figure out what was legitimate and what wasn’t. To find out who you really liked more.”

He took in a deep breath and expected me to say something there but I just fiddled with my fingernails and let Zen take the reins, “What happened next? What did they say to that?” Jake clearly a little confused in hearing Zendaya’s voice and not mine, “Uh-Hi Z- uh… Well they both started to cool down as soon as we started talking about (Y/N)’s feelings. They ended up coming to an agreement that it was ultimately up to you and that they both should talk to you alone. But I could sense they both still being frosty with each other so I reminded them that they were also friends and should work on understanding each other before jumping down the other’s throats.”

“Thanks, Jake.” I finally spoke and I could hear him take an actual sigh of relief before I asked him one more question, “What was everyone else at the party saying? Are any of them upset? Robert looked pretty upset.” I stammered and Zendaya padded my arm for support as Jake started to speak again, “Everyone was just confused but minded their own business for the most part. They could tell something was going down that wasn’t supposed to. I kept telling everyone I had done something dumb, making everyone upset. Everyone seemed to be onboard with that version of the story. And RDJ well, he tried his best to keep the party going but everyone kind of dispersed shortly after you did. Jacob, Tom, and I left. No clue what happened there though. I didn’t get the impression that he was angry.”

This time I was my turn to let out a sigh of relief. I thanked Jake once more and told him that I was forgiving him and Jacob on a temporary basis for now and hung up the phone. Zendaya sighed deeply too before asking, “So now what?” She asked and I simply said back, “Talk to them both. See them both. Today. And then pick one.”

To be continued.... (Part 2)

#reader x peter parker #reader x spiderman #chris evans x reader #reader x captain america #reader x steve rogers #Steve Rodgers #reader x steve rodgers #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #reader x tom holland #reader x tom holland x chris evans #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #reader x chris evans #Avengers #avengers fanfiction #MCU fanfiction #MCU

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bubblieywubbliey · 5 years ago

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Zoe x Reader Part 2

I’m sorry this took so long to post! I’ve been going through a lot of family drama and combined with my mock exams I’ve been so busy but here you go!

Zoe plopped her tray down next to you at the lunch table and she gave you a quick kiss before you returned to your conversation.

“No, Evan, trees are NOT better than dogs!”

“But trees are just big and strong and there. Dogs need so much work, and they’re scary!” Your best friend argues back and you threw your hands up in defeat.

“Fine!” You exclaimed and put a forkful of pasta into your mouth. You suddenly felt a hand on your leg and looked at Zoe, alarmed.

“Is something wrong, Y/N?” You raised an eyebrow and replied, managing to keep your voice even.

“No. How was your lesson?” She crept her fingertips to the hem of your skirt.

“It was fine, we had a supply so we didn’t really do anything. Yours?” She forced you to speak as she slid her hand into your skirt, knowing full well that your underwear was in her jeans pocket. You gave her a warning glare and she continued to disregard it.

This time you stuttered slightly, redness creeping onto your face as her her hand was creeping up your thigh towards her destination.

“U-uh it was fine.” You mumbled and she prompted you to speak again.

“What lesson was it again?” You knew this was bullshit. Zoe had your timetable memorised. Just as you began to answer, she brushed past your exposed clit and you gasped, not being able to help widening your legs slightly.

“Ah- um it was English.” You gasped and she smiled smugly as she pressed one fingertip against your entrance. Your face had turned completely red at this point and you could feel your clit throbbing at the teasing.

“Are you okay Y/N? You look really warm, are you coming down with a fever?” Evan places a hand on your shoulder suddenly, worry clear on his face as you jumped slightly at his touch.

“Uh, yeah! I’m fin-“ you cut yourself off as she suddenly thrust a finger into you, not even easing you into it. She held her hand completely still inside you and you attempted to cough over your moan. You squeezed your legs together to ensure she wouldn’t move again. “I’m fine.” You gently removed Evan’s hand from your shoulder and returned to your food.

A few minutes passed and Connor sat down next to Evan, kissing him on the cheek. Zoe pulled her fingers out of you and you sighed half in annoyance, half in relief as she settled for rubbing small circles on your thigh. The four of you chatted for the next ten minutes, a couple more of your friends joined you at the table, Jared and Michael sat down with Brooke and the three of them immediately started joking around. You felt something ghost over your neck and turned to see Zoe’s nose brushing against your neck.

“Why, do you wanna get out of here? I’m so done with all this.” She mumbled into your neck and pressed a singular kiss to your sweet spot before pulling away. You couldn’t help but pull her back in for a kiss. You pressed your lips against hers and her hand flew to your cheek, you didn’t even remember that you were in public until a chorus of ‘ooh!'s erupted from the other table occupants. You considered pulling away, but the feeling of Zoe’s fingers tracing your neck was too good to stop. She pulled away from you gently and turning to your friends.

“What?” She asked, as your friends all melted over the kiss.

“Zoe can you keep your tongue out of Y/N for 5 seconds?” Connor commented, rare laughter sparkling in his eyes.

“I’ll just put it somewhere else then!”

Zoe got up and ducked down under the table to pretend to put her tongue somewhere else in you, laughing as you feigned pleasure, gasping over dramatically. Laughter erupted around the table.

“Zoe!” You faked moaning and placed a hand on her head under the table.

“If you’re not careful this is gonna become a competition!” Connor said, tying his hair in a ponytail and fiddling with Evan’s zipper. More giggles as Evan turned red before pushing his boyfriend away firmly.

“Guys!” Evan mumbled and Zoe stood back up. You turned to see Jake stood over the two of you.

“Wow, you guys wanna go somewhere? I’m sure I outdo Zoe in that department.” Your ex-boyfriend appeared behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You snorted, automatically replying, “you really never did.” Before realising that this was Jake you’re talking to. His hand slid further down your back and Zoe glared at him as you attempted to shift further away. He slid into the seat next to you and placed a hand around your shoulder.

“Are you sure? I think you miss this.” He asked. You turned to him and smiled. “Yes. Definitely sure.” You turned back to your girlfriend, who had been ghosting her hand on your thigh. She slid her fingers back under your skirt and sunk them inside you. You tensed your entire body and barely held back a moan.

“C’mon baby, the things I’ve done to you, mmh. You couldn’t walk straight for a week.” He muttered to you and your eyes widened as Zoe thrust her fingers in and out of you.

“H-holy shit.” You muttered and pushed her hand away from you, standing up. You pulled her off the bench and dragged her away from the table.

“Shit baby, do I make you that hot?” Jake shouted, starting after the pair of you. You ignored him and Zoe yanked you into an empty classroom, pulling the blind down and before she could even turn around you pushed her against the door, kissing roughly down her neck. You heard a knuckles rap on the glass window of the door as Jake tried to come in.

“Girls?” He asked through the door but neither of you replied. Zoe flipped you around and wasted no time in pushing two fingers into you. You cried out, moaning her name as she thrust them into you.

“Can you take three?” She asked, referring to her fingers.

“Yes oh my god, yes, please!” You panted and whined as she kissed down your neck, whispering to you about how much she loved you, how hot you looked right now, how much she couldn’t wait for you to cum so she could see your face. You kissed passionately, her thrusting into you. You could feel yourself edging but you knew what you needed to push you over.

“Z-zoe… I need- oh god!” She thrust particularly roughly, sucking hard on your neck as she did.

“What do you need baby, tell me.” She whispered into your collar bone, kissing along it.

“M-my clit… please…” you moaned out, your chest heaving and hips thrusting against her hand. She pushed you into the desk and lay you down on it. You felt the desk dip slightly as it took Zoe’s weight as well, looking up you saw her on all fours over you.

“You’re gonna enjoy this.” She promised and you closed your eyes, taking in the smell of her hair as it draped over your shoulder. You felt her push back into you, you leaned up into her and she pushed you down with her free hand before she turned the wrist of the hand that was in you, her thumb making contact with your clit while she thrusted. You cried out and writhed on the table, Zoe kissing your neck and making her way down to your breasts. You felt her curl her fingers inside you, pushing you to the point where you could barely stand the pleasure.

She pulled your top up along with your bra and sucked on one and then the other, alternating as she edged you towards your orgasm. You felt it building in the pit of your stomach and heard her sweet voice guiding you there.

“Come on, baby cum for me, please..” She almost begged you, moving away from your breasts and kissing your jawline up to your lips. You felt yourself reach your peak and your leg started twitching as she kissed you deeply, her hair falling all over you and the fabric of her cuffed jeans rubbing against your exposed legs.

“Z-Zoe..” You mumbled as you came around her fingers. She kissed your cheek and then pulled her fingers out of you. You stood up on shaky legs and pulled your top down and your panties back up.

“Fuck, Zoe. That was really good.” You told her and she smiled nervously, her cheeks flushing red.

“Well, I knew I could do better than Jake,”

“You know it’s you right? God you’re better than him in every way.” You pulled her towards you, placing your hands around her waist and pressing your foreheads together. She nodded and you kissed her gently, before it became slightly more passionate.

“God please, do me.” She grunted and you pushed her up against the door again.

“Think it’s your turn now? Is that what you think? It’s not gonna be that easy.” You whispered into her ear. Fingers ghosting over her zipper as you kissed her. You pressed your lips gently to her neck and she tilted her head back to give you more access to her sweet spot.

Zoe was gasping against the top of your head as you unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down along with her panties. Suddenly you slowed down, dropping to your knees you kissed the inside of her thighs lightly, and definitely too slowly.

“Y/N… Please…” she begged you to touch her but you disregarded her request, instead standing up to unbutton her flannel shirt. “Oh for fucks sake.” She groaned, helpless and squirming against the door, knocking the blind as she tried to create some friction between her thighs.

You spotted her hand sneaking down towards her crotch and grabbed it, pinning it above her head alongside the other one and kissing down her neck, pulled her shirt off before restraining her again and placing torturous kissed down the called of her breasts, groaning into her soft skin.

“Y-Y/N…” She grunted, every movement of her body simply begging you to fuck her. You dropped back down to your knees and rubbed a finger around her entrance. You teased her until she couldn’t bear it anymore, she nearly yelled your name in frustration and just as she nearly snapped you pushed your finger into her, tracing circles around her clit with your tongue. She fell silent and her breathing became heavier as her knees wobbled. You thrust a singular finger in and out of her slowly, still teasing.

“Y/N I swear to fucking god if you don’t hurry up right now.” She almost commanded you and you simply reached a hand up to her chest, pushing her bra up and rubbing them roughly. Light moans escaped her lips as her head rested against the door. You released her clit to stand up and finally fuck her. You kissed her softly, whispering into her ear.

“I love you.” You spoke before finally thrusting two fingers into her at a wild pace, rubbing her clit with your other hand and kissing up and down her neck.

“S-shit, shit!” She struggled not to cry out too loud as she hurled towards her orgasm, using all of her willpower to prevent herself from screaming your name for fear of discovery.

“God you’re so hot babe, cum for me, come on.” You grunted into her ear as your hand began to ache, wanting her to get off before it cramped up completely.

“Y-Y/N… holy shit you fuck me so good, Jake could never…” she mumbled, barely coherent as her orgasm approached. You carried thrusting and kissing up and down her neck, occasionally sucking, forming a fresh hickey. Her neck was littered with them now, her chest heaving and her neck bright red and purple. You heard a small whimper escape your girlfriend and you know she’s about to cum.

“Y/N! God!” She gasped as you thrust in and out of her, clinging on to you as you kissed her through her peak, her fingers clenching around you.

You gently pulled your fingers out and she collapsed onto the floor.

“Y/N? Zoe? Are you okay? I told Jake to fuck off, yeah?” Connor knocked on the door and you helped Zoe up. Opening the door, you both stepped out.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Just wanted to escape Jake, he’s disgusting.”

“That’s valid.” Evan replied, taking your hand and squeezing it comfortingly. You made eye contact with Zoe and saw the mischief in her eyes as Connor draped an arm over his sister, talking about how he was gonna “fuck Jake up for saying that shit” to his sister. You smiled and walked back to the lunch hall with them.

#connor murphy #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #evan hansen x reader smut #deh #jared kleinman #x reader smut #smut #zoe murphy #zoe murphy x reader #zoe smut #zoe x reader #deh x reader #x reader #myownfics

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themanicnami · 6 years ago

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How to Communicate with Others and the Psychology Behind It (Part 1)

These are notes taken from some lectures went to for college courses all about the psychology behind communicating with others, how to assess other people before even speaking to them, how to improve communication and how to de-escalate situations when needed.

“If you are not under your own emotional control, you’re a puppet for another.”

This was the first thing he opened the first lecture with. If you are emotional, this will steer how you perceive the world and others. Everyone has emotional baggage, everyone has their faults and flaws and many struggle with their emotions. Even the most put together business person or confident lawyer often don’t know how to control their own emotions. It is not something we are born with, it is something we need to learn to do. The first parts of our lesson in communication is emotions and what beliefs are.

What Are Beliefs

He had us sit down and for a long time on a piece of paper write down all of our beliefs, everything that we believe. He didn’t ask for explanations, he just wanted us to write things down. He didn’t specify much but he sat back and watched us. Once time was up he stood up from his desk and returned to his lecturing spot.

“Raise your hand, how many of you wrote down things related to religion, love and afterlife somewhere in the top 3 first things you wrote down.” Everyone in the classroom raised their hands. He nodded “those are often the first things people think about when they write down beliefs, they look at the big picture. How many of you wrote down things about people, humanity and the world?” Nearly everyone had their hands up again. “Yes, that is because that is the next thing people’s minds go to. Yes while all of those are beliefs, and important ones, they all have meanings to you; they are not the only beliefs. Let me tell you a few of my beliefs, things that I live by every day.” He went up to the board and began to write these next few statements.

I believe that stretching each morning helps me wake up

I believe that blue is a color that looks good on me

I believe that lighting candles calms me down

I believe that singing badly to a song is a special joy

He motioned to these believes “They don’t seem too important do they? These don’t change the world, they don’t affect how I do my job and frankly these are things only people who really deeply know me would say are part of who I am.” he got a lot of murmurs and nods to this. “But, that’s why they are important. They are part of who you are. They are a part of you.”

He began talking to us about how how can we decide how to judge others or even read and communicate with others if we can’t communicate with ourselves. Do we know who we are? Do we know what all of our beliefs are? Do we know what little pieces of ourselves that we tend to overlook are things that we still feel are important to put “I believe” in front of.

Our homework after this lecture was to list out all of these believes, the big and the small and post them in our room or in a notebook. That way, whenever we needed to remind ourselves of who we are, or to help connect to our thoughts to look at them.

Everyone Carries Weight

He opened this lecture again with the same quote as above. Now that we knew some of our believes we need to understand something about ourselves and about others - we all carry weight. Everyone does, even the happiest people carry weight. He looked out at us and said: “We all carry weight, and we shouldn’t. If we were perfect we’d let go of it and drop it after it happened. But we are not perfect, so we carry this weight”

It drags us down. Some people go through terrible things, but, we all have to let go. This doesn’t mean forget this means, release it and eventually cut the line of that weight and march on ahead. There are healthy ways to let go of this weight, speaking to a therapist is one of these things even if we are ashamed or feel lost, we have to address this weight.

“How can you give others a chance when all you can do is focus on the bad?” Yes, I know many on this site will start chiming in how terrible that is and how you can’t fix depression just like that. He never said that, he said to address what weighs you down. Illnesses and past experiences can weigh us down and ignoring them or throwing them out into conversation constantly does not help anyone and certainly not ourselves. We can make excuses that we behave poorly or talk terribly to someone because of these weights but we can also admit to ourselves that we have them and work on them. Ignoring something doesn’t fix it. Addressing it does.

This point of the lecture he spoke about his own experiences and how vivid memories he had of a time that he was being choked out by someone, so bad that he couldn’t breath and he nearly died that day. How it haunted him and how if it wasn’t for another person who intervened he would’ve. He went to the hospital and had to stay there for a week to recover and how for a long time he was diagnosed with PTSD and he still struggles with it. But, he has learned how to help himself, and how he mustn’t focus back on it more than healthy releases. He can’t let one incident hold him back.

How do these things relate to communicating with others?

He asked us this since to many this would seem like odd subjects to bring up when you want to learn about other people, about observing them and about conversations. He got a lot of nods and he went up to the board again and wrote out:

“We don’t see the world as reality, just what is in our heads.”

He motioned to this while speaking. All our experiences, no matter how big or small, and all of our beliefs as people and the emotions we have result in how we see the world. No one sees the same world. If we were perfect, like machines, we all would just see it for what it is. We all could look at a painting and see it just for what is visually put there. But we’re not machines we get emotions from looking at this painting. Some may find it romantic, some nostalgic, others may find it drab. These opinions are our brains changing reality to fit what we understand.

He clarified this by asking how many of us had a conversation or situation with a parent, friend, loved one etc then later on heard them retell it and all you can think is “that’s not what happened”. It happens all the time, that’s because they interpreted what happened differently than we did. They may have seen themselves in the right for yelling at that waiter but you may see it in the wrong because you observed it from a different perspective and a different belief.

Our brains don’t record things in the world perfectly. Every few seconds we take in a million details and we can’t take in all of it, so our brains toss out what they don’t believe are important. All brains - delete, distort and generalize. That is how it is, there is no turning this off, there is no magic fix. We are all human, we all do this. But, because our brains do this is why we all often have little control over ourselves specifically our emotions. Someone who is very religiously devout is more likely to feel targeted by things anti-religious and take it personally, someone who loves dogs will take someone else saying they aren’t a dog person more personally - the list goes on. People will react emotionally different to different things, and this is where we sabotage ourselves.

Confirmation Bias: a bias our brains have subconsciously about things. When reality doesn’t go along with a belief our brain will change it or distort it.

Example of this happening he brought up if anyone ever heard a name of someone and immediately thought of how terrible that person was. Just bad and awful memories so every time you met someone new with that name you mind instantly goes to that other person. Do you ever decide that, that person on some level is just like the other “Jake” or “Lisa�� or whoever it was? Yes, you have because you are human. You’re brain is already distorting reality and you need to realize that it is.

Have you ever saw someone who looked just like someone who perhaps bullied you or was really mean to you? So this new person you ignore them or get sarcastic with them or snippy with them because you just see on some level that other person. That is you subconsciously changing reality from “this person is a different separate person” to “this person is just like the other because x, y and z”.

First step for improving communication is to stop doing this. Once you realize you are remind yourself, “no this person is in-fact not ____ they are two different people.” It will take some practice for you to catch yourself doing it. Many people don’t realize that do it at all unless it is pointed out to them. It is our jobs, as people, to take control of ourselves. Remind yourself, this person is someone new, let us make new memories with this person.

This will help you communicate with new people in a better way. Stopping yourself from focusing on things this new person is not. You do not know them yet, don’t make your judgement on them by something out of their control.

“To people, changing reality is easier than to change their beliefs.”

But sometimes we do have to change our beliefs so that we can improve ourselves and how we speak with others.

#communication #lecture notes #psychology #social skills #long post

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petersboyfriendsonofthor · 6 years ago

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Body Positivity

Here’s a blurb-turned-fic for @keepingupwiththeparkers sleepover! I think I missed it, but here it is anyway. Hope you like it!

Tom Holland x Male Reader; Chubby!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: angst, moderate self-hate, language, slight smut at the end

Shape of You

You and Tom were on your way to a restaurant to meet up with the main cast of Far From Home to celebrate wrapping on location. Traffic was getting pretty heavy, and the Uber driver swore under his breath. Tom turned to you and pulled out his phone.

“I’ll call Zendaya and tell her we’re running late,” he said.

“See if she’ll order for us,” you said. “I don’t wanna make them wait on their lunch. We’ll probably get there by the time it’s ready anyway.”

Tom nodded and relayed the information when Zendaya picked up. He turned the receiver away from his mouth and looked over to you.

“What would you like?”

You thought a moment before saying: “a bacon cheeseburger with fries. I’m starving!”

Tom smiled and told Z what you wanted. He was not too hungry and ordered a salad for himself. You had been eating healthy and hitting the gym for a few months with Tom, and were proud of the progress you made. You were nowhere near his fitness level just yet, but you were far from where you came. Tom was proudest of all, constantly telling you that he loves your body just how it is but that he also supported your weight loss. Not that you needed it, but you wanted it. He had originally questioned your motive when you told him you were going to exercise with him.

“Babe you look amazing just the way you are,” he had told you, rubbing your arm.

“I know,” you had said, “but I’m doing this for me. I want to lose some weight and look better for me. Well, and for you, but mostly for me.”

He had leaned in to kiss you. “And I’ll support you all the way.”

You were snapped back to the present when Tom nudged your shoulder. “We’re here, finally.”

You both exited the car, thanked the driver, and walked into the restaurant, hand in hand. You were greeted with smiles all around from your friends. You gave Tom a quick kiss before sitting down next to him at the long table. After a heated conversation about which one of you would win in a battle royale/Hunger Games scenario, the food arrived. When the greasy bacon burger and plate of fries was placed in front of you, you became acutely aware of the fact that everyone else had ordered a salad.

You became incredibly self-conscious in a matter of seconds. The feeling lasted throughout lunch. You wiped the salt off your fingers as Harrison stabbed at a crouton. Zendaya dabbed juice from a cherry tomato off of her lips as you dabbed at the burger grease on yours. Anytime one of the others eyed your plate, you avoided their eyes. You receded further and further from the conversation until Tom placed his hand on your thigh.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice low. “You’ve been acting...distant all afternoon.”

“Nothing,” you sighed. “I’m fine.”

“You’ve barely touched your fries.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You said you were starving in the car…”

“Well,” you said, hoping to end the conversation here, “I’ve lost my appetite.”

Tom opened his mouth to say something when he finally put the pieces together. Wordlessly, he dragged your plate of fries closer to his salad and started eating from it. He picked one up and waved it in the air, making jet engine noises.

“Here comes the airplane! Nyooooooom!” He pushed the french fry past your lips and you couldn’t help but smile as you bit it in half. Tom took the other half for himself and licked his fingers. You rested your head on his shoulder, still chewing, and wordlessly thanked him for helping you feel better. Once your burger was finished, you felt a bit of reflux and swallowed a burp. You felt some hiccups coming on, meaning that you ate too fast. Naturally, you were the only one with a hiccup, which brought back the self-consciousness. Tom paid the bill for the both of you. His salad was seven dollars, and your burger with fries was eleven. More guilt. That is chump change to most people, but today, to you, it made a huge difference.

You threw on a fake smile and said your goodbyes, making your way to the Uber Tom had called. The ride home was silent, and your reflux gave way to a stomach ache.

Penance for eating that slop, you thought. Sure it was tasty and exactly what you wanted, and sure it was the only burger you’ve had in the last six weeks, but everyone else ate salad. Why couldn’t your fat ass have ordered salad too? You never really liked it, but that’s what healthy people ate. That’s what Zendaya ate, and Tony, and Tom, and Jacob, and Haz, and Jake Gyllenhaal.

God! This was only your third time meeting Jake, and your first time eating food in front of him. Now he’s gonna think you eat like that all the time, as exemplified by your small double chin and a belly that sticks out.

Well, your belly didn’t really stick out that much…

But it’s still there.

Tom says--

Who cares what Tom says? Tom’s Tom. He’s your boyfriend. He has to say that. What about everyone else at that table? What about the people online that constantly shame you? What are they going to say about this?

What if some fan took a picture of you all at the table and posted it? Now they see you’re the only fatass with a burger while everyone else ate a salad. God. Why are you like this? Why are you so FUCKING fat?!

“Y/N,” Tom said, his hand on your shoulder.

You looked up at him, quickly wiping away your furrowed brow and scowl. “Hmm?”

“We’re home.”

Once inside, you headed straight for the bathroom. You locked the door, turned on the exhaust fan and faucet to drown out any potential crying, and faced yourself in the mirror. You sighed and slowly removed your shirt.

Your eyes drifted to the bits of acne that dotted your shoulders and upper chest. There was a large pimple between your pecs. From there, your eyes found the isolated strands of hair around your nipples. God did that look stupid. Tom probably hates that. He’s probably embarrassed to be seen around you when your shirt is off. Lord knows you would be. You made a mental note to shave that off immediately.

You then looked to the trail of hair that spilled out of your belly button and traversed the hill that was your lower abdomen and disappeared down your jeans. You angrily grabbed at the fat on your belly, which just peeked over the edge of your jeans, enough for you to label yourself a muffin top. You jiggled the fat, disappointed and ashamed.

Why would Tom subject himself to seeing this every night? Why would he suck your dick if his head has to feel the squish of your belly every time he goes down? Why would he like the feeling of his fingers sinking into your sides when he held your hips? Why would he want to see the rolls that form from sitting as you ride him? Why would he want to feel your belly on his back when you were the big spoon? Why would he want to look at your droopy ass when he takes you from behind? Why would he want to even be seen with you in public? Why would he want your body? Why would he want you?

You hardly noticed the tears rolling down your cheeks. They soon turned to quiet sobs. You sat on the edge of the tub in defeat, staring at the blurred image of your distended stomach through welled up tears. There was a knock at the door.

“Y/N, open up, love,” Tom called, softly. “I know what you’re doing in there.”

Why would he care? You don’t need his pity. His lies.

Tom tried the door only to find it locked. “Darling, please open up.” He waited for a few beats before trying again.

“Baby, please, you’re starting to scare me a little,” his voice sounded concerned enough. He jiggled the knob harder. “C’mon love.”

You begrudgingly rose from your seat and unlocked the door. Immediately it was opened to show a concerned Tom biting his lip. When he saw you his heart sank. He was right about what you had been doing. There were still marks on your belly from where you grabbed it with force. You sniffled as he took you into his arms.

He squeezed you tight, and you were well aware of the fact that his fingers sunk into the flesh of your bare back ever so slightly, while your fingers were met with muscle. He kissed your neck before pulling back to kiss away your tears. He cradled your face in his hands and ran his thumb across your lips. He gently pulled on your bottom lip, revealing the small bits of skin that were missing from how hard you bite it when you’re stressed. He held you for a few minutes, letting you release your pent up emotion. Once you had pulled yourself together, he gently turned you around to face yourself in the mirror.

Your face was red and wet from crying, cheeks and eyes puffy. Tom pressed himself behind you and brought his hands all over your body. He took your hands in his so that you would feel what he was feeling. He passed over the marks you left in your belly fat. He passed the love handles you hated under your obliques. He passed your pecs, with their hairy nipples and layer of fat on the end. He passed your shoulders, over the acne but skipping the pimple. He knew the ones on your chest hurt when touched. He got them too. He pressed a firm and loving kiss to your shoulder, in a spot that happened to have acne scarring. He moved his kisses to your neck and you sighed.

“Baby,” you croaked. “Be honest, do you love my body?”

Tom locked eyes with you in the mirror and rubbed your stomach softly.

“Yes, love,” he said, pressing a kiss to your earlobe. “I love your body.”

“Why?”

It was a simple question but it broke his heart. There was nothing he hated worse than when you felt down about your body, especially when you started hating yourself for it.

“Because it’s you. I love you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t control the outpour of emotion as your boyfriend placed tender kisses to your neck and cheek.

“I love you for the real you, baby,” he continued. “I love you for what’s inside. I love you for what’s in here-” he touched his finger to your forehead “-and in here.” He placed his hand over your heart. You couldn’t stop crying over everything that was happening. You hated that you hated your body. You usually weren’t like this. You felt guilty that you made him worry. You also felt so much love from and for Tom that you couldn’t quite process everything else that was going on.

You spun around and captured his lips in a desperate kiss. “I’m sorry,” you whispered over and over onto his lips, and all he whispered back was “I love you.”

Tom broke the kiss to work his lips down your body, kissing over the marks you made on your belly. You rolled your head back and sighed. He stood back up and led you to the bedroom. You both shed your clothes and he took a step back to admire you in your nakedness. He bit his lip and eyed your body hungrily.

“All for me…” he muttered to himself before taking your hand and leading you to the bed. He grabbed a condom, rolled it on, and lubed up. He had you straddle him and you sank down on him slowly. You rode him, his moans inspiring confidence, and his wandering hands instilled more pride in your body.

Who cares what other people think about you? You have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to hate. You loved yourself, deep down. On days like this, sometimes all it takes is a little encouragement from Tom.

Tom couldn’t keep his legs still as you rode him to his high, looking him in the eyes as you did. He took you in his hand and worked you over to yours. It didn’t take long, as his dick hit your prostate on almost every bounce. You came on his abs and collapsed onto him. Panting, you both gazed lovingly in each other's eyes. He pulled you in for a hot, messy kiss. He sat up quickly, taking you with him. You giggled as he scooped you up and took you back to the bathroom to run a shower. You spent the rest of the evening in his arms, naked to the waist. He rested his head on your chest and traced circles onto your belly, whispering words of love and encouragement for you and your beautiful body.

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x male reader #tom holland x male!reader #tom holland smut #chubby!reader #tom holland x chubby!reader #keepingupwiththeparkers #keepingupwiththeparkers sleepover

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hollands-poppet · 6 years ago

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Dancing with Our Hands Tied Part 2// Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom Holland is your best friend and your roommate, but you both have undisclosed feelings for each other.

Word count: 5K 💛

A/N: Okay, so I had a bit of writer’s block writing this but it was fun writing it..also I’m sort of following the current timeline of what is happening starting a little bit before June of 2018. Also, I was gonna do a taglist but its a lot of work for me and I’m already stressed about it so I’m just not gonna do one for this one. Anyway, enjoy!! One more thing, I want to thank @ladybirduris and @thedaydreamingwriter for helping me guide the story. Love y’all 💛

Warnings: cussing I think, angsty af, fluff and I proofread but not really..italics is flashbacks, and italics and bold is the song the fic is based off of

Prologue Part 1

Y/N had a long shift today, being an on set artist was something that nobody really understood unless you were in that position. She had a gig working on a magazine cover that her friend Jake had booked for her, and it was a nightmare. The star that she had done makeup for was not even worth the mention, they were so rude and mean to all of the crew and especially to Y/N.

Not all celebrities were like that though, you’ve had the proof in front of you all along, your most humble celebrity friends were Zendaya and Tom, and you also happened to be living with them too. When you arrived home that day though, you weren’t expecting for Tom to home early. Well it was actually almost midnight which was kind of early for you to be home but your roommate usually wouldn’t return til the next day if he won’t out with his girlfriend.

Once you entered your flat, you noticed his wallet and keys were on the kitchen counter which was odd. “Tom?” You let out as you close the front door and lock it, putting your bag of McDonalds and your drink next to his items that lie on the counter. “Tom?” You say again as you start unbuttoning your coat, moving your neck in circular motions to relieve the stress.

He wasn’t responding which you didn’t really think much of so you go to your room, and drop your coat on the floor and change into something more comfy. Your pull up your sweats, and your off the shoulder burgundy shirt..this felt like heaven. She slid on her slippers and tied her hair into a bun while walking to the kitchen, and as she starts to dig thru her food, she hears her roommates door open.

“Hey Tom, I got a 40 piece of you’re-” she turns around while holding a box of nuggets only to find him visibly upset, his eyes red from probably crying. He just stands there with his hands in his sweat pockets, breathing in deeply to keep his throat from burning “hey..y/n.”

She sets the nuggets on the counter and quickly makes her to her roommate, her hands landing on his shoulders “Hey hey, are-are you alright?” His hands move from his pockets to your grab your hands, “Yeah, just stupid relationship stuff.”

He clears his throat, “you mentioned a 40 piece?”

Tom moves past you and to the kitchen counter, grabbing a box of nuggets and buffalo sauce. Y/N follows and sits on a stool with her own set of nuggets, “y’know..” you break the silence “we can talk about it if you want.” He dips his nugget into his sauce, and relaxes his shoulders “I just- she is just so- she can’t stand that I’m friends with Zendaya and we can’t help but argue about it each time.”

Y/N sits there and just listens to her friend’s relationship troubles. As a friend who understands where Tom is coming from, she can’t seem to grasp why his partner was making it so complicated when he is truly in love with her. And vice versa for Tom, him and Z were just friends...nothing more. He was tired of always fighting, the nagging and he knew he was falling out of love but it’s hard to let go of somebody you’ve grown close to.

It was almost a routine to Tom, if that makes sense. He didn’t know if he was ready to let go of her, but having you here made him feel better. You didn’t have to buy him nuggets, you didn’t have to sit here and listens to problems but you were. And that was something that he couldn’t be more appreciative of.

Y/N takes a sip of her coke and after she sets it down, reaches across the counter to touch his hand “Tom, you’re an amazing guy..” his eyes shoot up at yours, your touch making him feel some type of way and you knew deep down how you felt about him.

“And..” the only sound besides your voice is a cricket and the cars driving down the street. She wanted to admit it but maybe right now wasn’t that moment to express your feelings. Y/N removes her hand from his, she starts tucking a hair behind her ear “and if she doesn’t realize that she’s pushing you away...then she doesn’t deserve you.”

Tom let’s out a crooked smile, he believed you because he knew he deserved better. It was reassuring especially coming from you, you mattered a lot to him, you’d become his best friend over the last few months so your opinion was important. It wasn’t the exact answer he wanted to hear from you but it would do.

He looked back down at his nuggets, “Uhm, thanks by the way..this food is definitely going to hit the spot.” Y/N takes a bite of a fry, “I got you, Holland.”

You stared at Tom and the ex you’ve known about since you’ve met him, they looked...cute which caused your stomach to turn. The knot in your stomach getting tighter as they both giggled together, you stare at them for a couple of more seconds until you turn on your heels. She shoves her bikini back into her bag, “Harrison, why the fuck would you bring me to a party with HER here?” Y/N emphasizes her as in his ex, as in she who shall not be named.

Haz takes a drink from his beer and puts one of his hands on your shoulders, “We didn’t know she was coming..Tuwaine brought her, Tom didn’t even know she was coming. I swear.” She looks into the blonde’s blue eyes, she could tell he was being honest but she didn’t like the energy she was bringing upon herself from just seeing her that she was in love with. Still, her anxiety was building up inside her chest so she grabs Haz by one of his ears and drags him towards the exit of his backyard.

“Ow, ow..” Haz whispers while in your grasp, his hand goes to your waist and pinches you causing Y/N to let go of his. She turns back around, “Harrison..” she moves towards her with her hands in a praying position, “I need you to take me back to the airport..now!” The blonde’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes on his own spit, “Are you crazy? I’m not doing that, as Tom’s assistant and best friend.. I am not allowing that!” He sets his foot down, beer in hand and his other hand resting on his waist.

Y/N rolls her eyes and chuckles as the same time “You know what, Where’s Zendaya? Maybe a real friend can take me..” She remarks as she pulls out her phone to call her her friend but she didn’t need to, Z was already about two feet away and at that same moment the hairs on her arms literally shoot up as she hears His familiar voice she was trying to avoid. Not because Y/N didn’t want to hear him but she couldn’t face Tom..not right now. Not without a good explanation about why he was talking to his ex. So what does she do? What is her first fucking extinct? What is the first thing she does that she thinks will make her roommate/lover jealous? Her first extinct is to fucking grab her best friend by the face, and plants a kiss right on Z’s lips.

Y/N is immediately pushed off by her friend, Z lets out an awkward chuckle, “Are you on crack?” You try to avoid eye contact with everybody, what the fuck.. you just kissed Zendaya. A mess.

You clench your stomach and keep eye contact on the ground, “I’m gonna be sick.” She pushes past her whole friend group and makes her way into house, blindly looking for the bathroom.

Y/N spots Haz’s mom in the house and asks for the washroom, which she kindly leads you to. As soon as you make it into the restroom, your hands grip the sink. She makes eye contact with herself, “What is wrong with you? What, why did I do that?” She talks to herself in her reflection, why would she even think that kissing Z would make Tom remotely jealous.

The bigger question was WHY WAS HIS EX HERE? That’s all you wanted to know, you hear a knock at the door, “go away.” The knocks get louder, “please go away.”

“y/n...it’s me, open up.”

You decide to open the door when you hear the voice on the other side, it was your friend that you had just kissed.

Zendaya opens the door and slides in, immediately sitting on the sink “dude what happened out there?” You shake your head, and plop yourself on the toilet..head in your hands “I don’t know, I just wanted to make Tom jealous.. I guess.”

She jumps off the sink, and kneels in front of you “You..like him?” Y/N looks up from her palms and into her friend’s face, “I think..I think I love him but like I’m in love with him.” Before she can respond, Y/N

Z immediately hugs you, and as she pulls back she bites her lip “I’m gonna be honest...Tom told me about what happened.” Your eyes shoot open, “Are you serious? Why did you wait until now to say something?”

She scratched her shoulder as she got up from her knees, she was looking down at you “because I didn’t know you loved him in that context, he didn’t-”

Y/N stands up from the toilet seat, “he didn’t what, z?” She doesn’t respond, “Z?”

There is a pause, “I don’t know if he’s in love with you...y/n.” You don’t really react, what did you expect? His girlfriend or ex or whatever she is was here and it made sense, right?

“Is he back with her?” Z shrugs her shoulders, “I’m not sure about that but I can say that she really wasn’t invited. Tuwaine brought her, even Tom was shook to see her to to be honest.”

Y/N figured everyone was being real but it was just an ugly feeling to be in the presence of somebody that you’ve known has hurt the guy you loved.

There is another knock on the door, “go away.” This time Z sort of ignores you and opens the door, Haz coming in with a new beer in hand “I got good news.” He takes a sip he makes his way towards you and throws his arm around your shoulder, “Tom’s ex is gone, Tuwaine and her dipped.”

Zendaya smiles, “See Y/N! You’ll be fine now, you can party comfortably now.”

“I don’t want to party, I just want to go back to the house and sleep.” You remark as you start making your way towards the door, but you’re stopped by Z grabbing your hand, “Y/N, just throw on your bikini and make your way out there..she’s gone.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, and then removes Haz’s arm from her shoulder “Fine, I’ll get in the bikini but I can’t promise-”

Haz interrupts, “Just change into it, we’ll be outside.” He and Zendaya exit the room as you throw your bag on the floor, and you tug at your hair. You had just made a fool of yourself in front of everyone and now you have to go back out there and face all of them.

Great. Just awesome.

You change into the black bikini, and before you exit the restroom you take another look at yourself in the mirror. Well, here goes nothing.

Once Y/N made her way to the backyard, the amount of people had decreased. It went from about 30 people to about 15 people, it became more intimate. Everyone was gathered at the beer pong tables, Haz and Jacob setting up for a game of Rage Cage.

“Aye, Y/N! Come play this round!” Jacob yells as you’re setting down a bag one of the lounging chairs, “I’ll pass, I’m gonna take a dip.” He doesn’t respond, all she could think to herself is that Jacob bugged her so bad to bring her bikini down so she was going to go for a swim.

She kneels down to untie her black converse, and slips them off to the side of the lounge chair.

“so you and Zendaya huh?”

Y/N shoots to look back, she levels herself with the guy she hadn’t seen in two weeks. She crosses her arms and scoffs, “shut up, Tom.”

“I see you’re trying to get me jealous.” He takes a drink from his beer, he chuckles with the liquid in his mouth. She pulls her hair back, and sighs “You know how I feel about her..and no I wasn’t..” she clears her throat nervously. “I wasn’t trying to make you jealous.”

“Then why would you kiss Z? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.” And he genuinely wanted to know, why would the girl he just hooked up with not more than a month ago kiss her friend? He was just trying to make sense of it, but it sort of clicked when he thought about his ex being here not too long ago.

“Oh god, no..Y/N.. her.. Tuwaine, she just stopped by to say hi..” she just looks down, she didn’t want to look into his eyes. It was embarrassing, she had almost given all of herself to him that night in the flat and to see someone that he used to do what you did with him was upsetting.

She plays with her fingers, what could she do? She seen what she seen and they did what they did and she was gonna move past it..well at least try too.

“It’s fine, Tom..I didn’t know what to expect, it’s not your fault.” He leans in for a hug but she moves to the side, “that’s for not calling me.” His jaw drops for a second before he lets out a hopeful smile.

Y/N walks past him towards the pool, “By the way I don’t appreciate you ignoring me for two weeks.” He takes another sip from his beer, “Come on, I didn’t avoid you and it’s a two way street.. you could’ve called me too.”

You pursed your lips, “I mean...I guess you’re right but you know how I feel-”

“How do you feel love..hm?” His left eyebrow shot up, he knew what he was doing. You take a step forward, “Don’t make me say it, Tom.” He smirks, “Say what?”

He was being a smart-ass, but the ball was in his court. It’s been in his court for weeks, you didn’t know how he felt but him asking for confirmation seemed to trigger you a hit. So, you bring your hands to his chest and push him back.

And you don’t push him too hard, just enough for him to lose his balance. As he starts tipping back into the pool, he manages to grab your arms and before you knew it you were being pulled into the pool with him.

The cold water hit your body like a ton of bricks, you start making your way to the surface and finally find some air. When you push your hair out of your face, you notice Tom already laughing.

“Oh, Holland, you’re gonna get it.” You say as you move your way towards him, starts to splash you as you make your way towards him.

Y/N and Tom start to play wrestle in the water, Tom grips her wrist so that she can’t move. She’s kicking her legs under the water, trying to get out of his grip, his hands move from her wrist to her waist.

He reels her in as she pushes against him, “Tom, stop.” She’s giggly as his grip around her waist is causing her to feel ticklish. Y/N realizes that he’s stopped playing, and is just carrying her in the water.

“I did miss you, Y/N. I’m glad you’re going to be here.” He smiles as holds you tighter, as much as she is upset she can’t help but just want to melt into is arms. She tries to play off the fact that he is holding her, “Oh, you really have a nice way of showing it.”

“Come on, darlin’, you know I did..and I know you did too.” His hand puts wet hair behind your ear, and slides back down to your hips. “It’s my birthday, be nice.” Y/N gives up pushing him away, “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I have to talk to you.”

“Hey, you two! Smile!” Y/N and Tom turn their heads to find Jacob with her phone pointing in their direction, Tom pulls you closer as if you weren’t already close. He whispers in your ear, “Come on, for me.” She wraps her arms around his neck, faces the phone and talks through her smile, “Don’t think I’ve forgiven you.” And when Jacob’s flash goes off, you quickly push Tom away and scurry out of the pool, leaving him there wanting more of you than you thought he did.

The next couple of weeks were grueling, between going back and forth from working on Zendaya on set and a couple of other gigs that you would book in between...lets just say the month went by really fast. You only seen Tom three times since his birthday party, he was busy filming his stuff, and you were busy doing your things. But the three times you seen each other was either brief or long depending on the day.

If Zendaya and Tom had a scene together, then you were probably there all day but you and him didn’t really talk. He was in his zone and you were in yours, the other times were brief run ins at your temporary home. You would get home from the Spider-Man set and then leave for another gig that you had.

There were times where you would only get about an hour of sleep each night, it was ugly. So when your day off came, you were excited to be able to sleep.

The house situation first worried you when you got there but you were almost never there except to sleep, shower and then head out again. But today, today was different because you were got to sleep in, relax on the couch with a pink drink and some pasta while catching up on the beauty guru’s tea on YouTube. That sounded like heaven to Y/N’s ears.

Y/N also didn’t realize the amount of clout that the photo of Jacob took of her and Tom would get her which she wasn’t really about. The first time Tom had ever posted about Y/N made his fandom rip her a new one, they all assumed that she was his girl which also caused friction between Tom and his ex.

She wasn’t going to worry about that today though, she was going to stay off of her phone and just forget about everything.

She woke up to an empty home, she didn’t know where everyone had gone. Z and Jacob were gone, and no sight of Tom and Haz anywhere. Once she reached the kitchen, she noticed a pink grande size Starbucks drink sitting on the table that sat on top of a note.

Thought you might like to wake up to this. -Tom

The ice was already melted so it’s been sitting for awhile, you couldn’t help but think how sweet Tom was for bringing this to you. You gladly sipped your warm drink as you prepped the water for your pasta, you turned the radio on that sat in the kitchen. Hayley Kiyoko’s Curious came on, and you just left it, it was peaceful enough for you.

Y/N grabbed her drink that sat on the counter and made her way to the living room couch, being able to start relaxing was definitely on the agenda. But as soon as her back hit the couch, the front door opened.

“Y/N?!” She brings herself up with one of her elbows, “Harrison?” She takes a sip from her drink as she turns her body to look at him.

“You’re finally awake.” He comes towards the couch, he has his keys in hand and he shoved them in his pockets. She takes another sip from her drink, “finally? What time is it?” She looks around for her phone but she left it in her room.

“It’s almost 5.” He exclaims while he grabs a couple of things from the coffee table, y/n is shook but not really. She knew she was tired but dang did she really sleep in.

“Oh well..I’ll be here watching some YouTube while eating my fettuccine Alfredo.” Y/N lays down and takes a sip from her drink, “so bye now.” She closes her eyes until she’s shaken by Harrison like the way Shrek shakes Fiona when she’s faking her sleep.

“The fuck Haz?”

“The fuck is right, get up. You’re coming with me.” He shoves a portable charger into his pocket while he’s pulling you off the couch by your legs, “Haz,

Stop! It’s my day off, I don’t want to go?!”

He lets go of your legs, and he sets his hands on his waist, “I’m under strict instruction by Zendaya and Jacob that I can’t tell you where we’re going and your presence is wanted there tonight.” She re-adjusts herself on the couch, “Mm, no it’s okay. I’m gonna chill here.”

Haz disappears for a few moments, you open your eyes to peak and see where his where about are and he isn’t in sight. She begins to get comfy in the couch, and sinks into it but then remembers she can’t fall asleep because of the water boiling on the stove.

But her eyes begin getting heavier and heavier, it feels so good just to relax. That is...until Harrison Osterfield decides to throw some clothes on you, instantly causing you to shoot up.

“You’re coming with me whether you like it or not y/n..we already paid for your ticket..” She takes off the clothing that was thrown on top of her, “You guys bought me a ticket? Haz, can you just tell me?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I mean I could but that would ruin his whole-” he stops, “I’ve said too much, just get dressed.. you have 5 minutes!” Haz doesn’t even take another minute to talk to her, he makes his way to the kitchen to turn off her boiling water.

Y/N looks down at the clothing that was tossed at her...okay Haz didn’t exactly have the best taste because the outfit he got you literally was just...ugly. She grabs the whole outfit, and starts to walk up the stairs, “Where are you going?”

She turns around and looks down at him, “I’m sorry Haz, I just don’t like this outfit. I’ll meet you outside.” She turns around and makes it to her room, he could care less if she picked a new outfit as long as he got her to come..just like he had promised his best friend.

Y/N held her mirror steady as she was applying her lip liner, she begins to shake not being able to hold still, “Okay Haz, keep driving crazy why don’t ya?”

The blonde laughs as he slows down a bit, “Sorry, I’m not used to having a girl put on makeup in the passenger seat.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she applies a light layer of her satin lipstick, “you know, you still haven’t told me where we’re going..”

He flips on the A/C, “Yeah, I know. You’ll see in a few minutes, it’s supposed to be a surprise.” She listened to his voice as she scrolled through her Instagram, “oh you mean, we’re going to this Lovebox Music Festival?”

Haz frowns his eyebrows and looks at you a couple of times, “I didn’t say we were going..Did I?” She rolls only of her eyes, and flashes her phone screen to him. It’s Jacob’s story holding wristing bands for which clearly read the festivals name on it.

“What a div!” He shakes his head, and only moments later does his phone ring. “So you’re kidnapping me to a festival?” He runs his hand through his blonde curls, one hand still on the wheel “Tom wanted to surprise you..”

Y/N sits back in her seat and it’s quiet between the two. She felt happy that Tom wanted to do this but there were still unanswered questions between them, maybe those can and would get answered tonight? After a whole ass month of nothing happening between them both, maybe they would finally have closure tonight.

Parking was a mess, you and Harrison parked far as fuck so you both had to walk about 20 minutes til you go to the venue. Once you guys got in, it was a smooth sailing from there, you were approached by Zendaya, Darnell, Jacob, Tony and a couple members of the cast you didn’t know.

The first thing Y/N did was hug Z, surprisingly nobody was coming up to them which was cool. Most of these people were here to watch artist perform, not to celebrity hunt.

“Ah, you made it.” She turns around to the familiar voice that would greet them in their home back in LA. Tom is approaching you with two beers in hand, you weren’t sure if one was for him or the both were.

“Yeah, Haz practically dragged me out here.” She elbows Haz in the side as he laughs, “Well, come on let’s go and find a spot.” The group starts to walk, they’re all ahead of you both..not too far but you and Tom are loosely following behind.

Tom extends his left arm to you, offering the beer in his hand. She wasn’t usually a beer person but she took it for the sake of the aesthetic. It’s a little awkward for a moment, being with your roommate that you hooked up with and not remotely having a conversation with him for a while was weird.

He breaks the silence with a clear of his throat, “You look nice.” She tucks a hair behind her ear, “Mmthanks, Haz picked out some ugly outfit earlier so I had to change.” He chuckles, “sounds like Haz..but uh, I’m glad you came.”

Tom shoves his free hand in his pocket, he’s nervous. He doesn’t know if you’re still upset about what happened but he wanted to make up for it today, show you that he really did care about you.

Y/N is blushing by the time the group has picked a spot, it’s sort of unspoken. It just happened to be that they stopped and so did you both, “I’m glad I did too, I mean I was basically kidnapped but-”

He scratches the back of his head, “I know, I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t just leave you at the house alone.” Her hand creeps up his arm, and rests on his shoulder “Well…” she bites her bottom lip, “you could’ve joined me.” They both laugh in sync and as she pushes him lightly.

The performer is about go on which is Childish Gambino, who also just happened to work on the last Spider-Man movie. You turn your head “Is that rumor true about you not knowing Donald Glover is Childish Gambino true?” And before he could reply you’re shoved into Tom by everyone in the crowd.

The audience is going wild because the set is about to start, the crowd starts coming in which bringing Y/N and Tom closer to the group and with each other. The lights go out, you’re in Tom’s arms from being shoved. Both of your beers falling on the floor from the impact of the crowd.

I'd kiss you as the lights went out.

It’s bringing you and Tom closer together, so close that his arms are wrapped around you, his hands resting on your lower back. You’re both moving together, not sure what moves to make next.

Swaying as the room burned down

Although everyone is moving around you, it feels like you’re the only two are the only ones in the venue.

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

Y/N decides her next move, her hands moving from his waist to his collarbone. Her chuck taylors moving closer to his, she’s tiptoeing up so that she can find his lips. Her hand running through his hair, his hand creeping up her neck and to her cheek.

At this point, Y/N and Tom both had the same idea and she wasn’t sure if she was being paranoid but the flash from everyone around her was making her sweat but she didn’t care.

If I could dance with you again

Their lips so close to touching, both of them have butterflies in their stomach. The feelings that both of them have been holding in for a while finally coming back to life, their lips finally touching.

They’re both deep in their kiss, until Y/N pulls away..her hands still around his neck.. “Tom?”

He leaves a kiss on her forehead, “Hm?” she brings her mouth closer to his ear, the crowd cheering growing louder, “I have to tell you something.” His hands come up to her cheeks, holding them tight, he brings their noses together “What is it?”

She bites her bottom lip, her hands beginning to shake from being so scared “I..” she looks down and then back into his eyes, “I love you, Tom..like a lot.” His hands still wrapped around her cheeks, he sighs the lights from the stage lighting up their faces, “I care about you but..”

But we were dancing

Dancing with our hands tied

A/N: Soooo, what’s gonna happen next? The angst has only started babes...OKAY Y’ALL! PLEASE SOUND OFF IN MY ASKS! I’ll take any advice, theories, suggestions..please feedback is key! also love y’all, hope you’re enjoying this fic so far.ALSO, I know I said I was gonna start a permanent taglist and taglist for this but it’s always just sooo much work haha but I'm working on it, I promise!!! -Amy 💛

hook me up w/ a coffee?

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland angst #reader x tom holland #y/n x tom holland #tom holland x y/n #Tom Holland Fan Fiction #tom holland x reader imagines #tom holland x reader imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland fan fic #tom holland x you #you x tom holland #Harrison osterfield #zendaya

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oursoulsareone · 7 years ago

Text

Let’s talk about abuse for a minute...

Let’s talk about how it starts and the signs you can see as a friend. Because guess what, if the abuser is manipulative (and more often than not they are) the victim will not notice it happening. They will not see it slowly taking away their confidence and their happiness... chipping away.

And of course the situation is different for everyone so I will speak towards mine.

Matt always liked to be in control. To be in power. I was never allowed to drive. I couldn’t talk to boys. Even one of my closest friends from high school. He’d get mad at me if I was doing a session and the dad was attractive.

He made it seem harmless at first. Telling me he’d prefer to drive because he liked to. It was in time that I saw whenever I’d drive, or try to, he’d flip out.

The physical abuse began slowly. And at first he’d cry and beg for forgiveness.

It started with pushing me out of the way then went to twisting my arms. As the abuse got worst the time passed and the apologies grew weaker. The blame shifted slowly over the years. First it was on him, he loved me, he made a mistake, please forgive him, one more chance. To well you shouldn’t have done x y and z. By then I was trapped in this cycle.

He made me feel like I would only be loved by him. He shut my contact out from my male friends, checking my Facebook, phone records and e-mail.

I was afraid to reach out to anyone and suffer his wrath. I was afraid no one would believe me.

I did, though. I spoke to his mom, because I knew his mom had seen his anger. And she believed me. But she told me it’s just what happens and his father was the same way. I told his good friend, Jake, who spoke with him about it but nothing ever changed. After Jake spoke to him, he wrote him off. Told me he was crazy and never wanted to talk to him again.

The arm twisting turned into slamming my head into things. Kicking my stomach when I’m down and pulling my hair.

I pulled away even more. His anger was more frequent now and if I was quiet and did my thing I wouldn’t risk angering him as much.

What’s the most sad? Is I felt this was normal. And that I deserved it. I have been through a lot in my life regarding abuse and this was no different. This is just how women get treated.

The abuse wasn’t even that, even as it turned into chocking and hitting and slamming my legs/arms into doors and throwing me downstairs.

The physical abuse wasn’t even the scariest.

It was the manipulation he had over me. The control. He knew how to play me like a puppet master. His affair started right around our 5 year wedding anniversary, I was so depressed I didn’t even notice a change. Not until I caught him red handed in December.

Perhaps the most sad thing about it? He was never planning on leaving me for her until I found out and gave him hell, but I am not sure even then he was really planning on leaving. He knew where I was in my mindset. I was pissed and pushing him away. So he said we were done. I was upset. I was made to believe I was nothing without him.

I went to counseling and I got stronger. And stronger. And he kept trying to come back and sleep with me. And it worked a few times in the beginning. He’d beg for me back. To make this right. Told me he’d block Josie on everything. But I didn’t care at that point. I was getting stronger.

I made mistakes after we separated. I was confused. I was taught no one would love me but him and I felt lost. So a friend bought me a match.com subscription, way too early for me to be dating, but I wasn’t in my right mind then. I just wanted comfort.

So I met J. We are still friends and I will always be thankful for him. He never pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do. He’d text me sweet things and ask if I made it home okay. He was shocked by how shocked I was by all of this. He spent our time together making sure I knew how I deserved to be treated.

Every time I felt strong Matt would try to come back.

Why? Because he saw his control and his manipulation was fading away. And remember? He liked being in control.

So he continued to try. Late February I will never forget. His constant text messages BEGGING for me back. Calling Josie names, telling me he made a huge mistake. I refused to respond.

So he trapped me in the kitchen while I was making a home-made new york cheesecake for J. That 2-3 hour process of him begging me and me looking him into his eyes and being able to say no.

If I had never met J I never would have been able to do that. He made me believe in myself. Made me stick up for myself. Because Matt’s abuse and manipulation didn’t just make me feel weak with him, no, I let my clients and other people walk all over me as well.

Oh and Matt cried. He cried and said he’d go to counseling and do anything.

And I laughed in his face. Because on February 14th, 2017 I decided I was worth more than a lying, manipulative, abusive asshole. And that I was never going to deal with that again.

So he went back to Josie’s for I don’t know how long. Weeks?

J and I decided to break up. But we still talked.

He begged me to turn Matt in. Told me he’d support me. But I said no.

Mid-March comes around and more texts come in begging for another chance. Says he’s at her house but doesn’t feel the same with her as he does for me. (Yes all of these are saved for evidence in the trial)

These texts aren’t short begging. These are LONG, LONG texts.

Next thing I know he’s at the house.

I’m locked in the guest bedroom and decide to go to sleep.

I was up at 3am to him forcing himself into bed with me. I scream and kick out and get up and say very loudly “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING”

He starts crying and says he just wants to cuddle with me one last time and how bad of an idiot he was and how he is drunk and whatever.

I leave and he follows me out. I make it VERY clear that I am not afraid to call the cops. He stumbles back downstairs and continues drinking. I couldn’t sleep that night. He had texted me right before telling me how drunk he was and that he was going to crawl into bed with me. So I laid upstairs editing until it was at a decent enough hour to go to a friend’s house. I later found the entire bottle of Jack he bought and drank that night.

A few days later the last fight we’d ever have occurred. Name calling, him trying to intimate me, etc. It ended when he picked up my macbook pro in order to get me to “pay attention to him.” I screamed at him to give it back because a few years previously he had snapped my laptop over his knee and broke it. This laptop had EVERYTHING business related on it and I’d be damned if he made me lose that. He refused to put it back down.

So I called the cops and I ran across the street to my friends.

From this day on, he held the entire divorce over my head. I wanted it more than anything but he refused to sign the papers. Blackmailing me, telling me he knew I needed them signed so I could have a house. I ended up having to PAY him money to get them signed.

The officer interviewed us both, said it was a civil issue and left. All in all, Matt never believed I’d ever be capable of calling the cops so he left.

About a week later I got a call from a detective. He told me after speaking with his officer and and receiving circumstantial evidence that he’d like to talk to me regarding any prior abuse. I politely refused.

He kept calling me asking me to come in when one day I finally had the courage to do so. I had no idea what was going to happen because he told me Matthew wouldn’t get arrested for a few months, even if he did and that he wouldn’t know. I told him I didn’t want to report him, because I was afraid he’d find me and kill me. Because that was the threat he used to make all the time if I told people.

He promised I’d be protected. And I gave them everything.

Matthew’s attorney keeps prolonging the process. Our jury trial was supposed to be in December but she claimed she wasn’t ready. Since he is the one on trial and I’m a witness, I have to sit back and wait.

So he still has control over me and my life. Over a year after we were separated.

#triggerwarning #tw #abuse #physical #emotional #matthew #exhusband #dv

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