#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding
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doctorbrown · 2 months ago
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DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * RED-LETTER DATE 」
“Hey Doc? I wanna ask you something.” 
Emmett doesn’t pop his head through the doorway to acknowledge his friend, too focused on topping off one of the mugs of hot chocolate with a generous helping of marshmallows, but he does shout, “Of course, Marty,” into the air. “You know you don’t have to ask. Let me bring Verne his cup and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”
Marty makes a vague noise that many years of friendship has taught Emmett means sure thing, Doc, and it takes him barely three minutes to drop off the hot chocolate to Verne, who smiled like it was Christmas morning when he saw the mountain of marshmallows floating at the top, and join Marty in the living room, carrying the tray with their own drinks. He passes one of them off to Marty who accepts with a smile and a nod and then takes a seat opposite him, fixing him with an expectant look.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
Marty’s eyes immediately drift to the shelf, where Emmett and Clara’s small assortment of family photos sit, arranged in elegant wooden frames. In the centre is a black and white photo that has started to yellow around the edges, looking paradoxically fragile and yet able to withstand even the most rigorous tests of time, holding onto that frozen memory for all eternity. Emmett turns his head to follow Marty’s attention, his eyes alighting on the single photo he expects will be the topic of their conversation.
Ah. Out of all of them, there is only one Marty was never able to be present for.
For once, Emmett manages to look perfectly natural in a photograph, even dressed to the nines in a sharp suit. His smile stretches from ear-to-ear, making him look at least ten years younger, and though his face is angled away from the camera, his eyes are bright and alive, brimming with love and warmth. Marty could even imagine the photographer trying to get Emmett’s attention, demanding he look at him for the photo, only for every single word to go in one ear and straight out the other when Clara was standing beside him, smiling, the picture of radiance as she regards her husband with the same fond warmth. Her wedding dress was no more intricate than any of the outfits Marty had seen her wear during his few days in the Nineteenth Century, yet it seemed to be made for her and her alone, perfectly tailored and somehow able to put even the outfits of royalty to shame.
If Clara was the sun, Emmett was the moon that revolved around her. In that single moment, forever frozen in time, they were the only two people on Earth. 
“I had been wanting to ask for a while, but–”
“No, no, of course. You didn’t get the chance to see it, and I’m sorry for that, so I’d be happy to fill you in on the details.”
Marty curls his fingers around the warm mug, shuffling somewhat in his seat, and Emmett waits patiently, noting each one of Marty’s nervous habits as they arise. There are a hundred and one things Marty wants to say, Emmett can see them written across his body, written into every small movement, and, equal and opposite, there are a thousand things Emmett wants to say in return, things he makes an effort to hold back until Marty speaks first.
“I’m happy for you two, Doc–really, I am. Clara’s–well, Clara’s amazing. And I’ve never seen you so happy before. I was afraid that–” Marty shakes his head, his eyes focused on the photographs. “When I first saw the picture, I was…” He forces a laugh, but there’s no humour in it and Emmett would know that self-depreciatory tone anywhere. 
“It’s stupid, I know. I didn’t realise it at first, but I was jealous. Can you believe that, Doc? My best friend is happy, he’s got a family for Christ’s sake, and I was too busy at first being afraid that now you’re–you’re just gonna forget me because you’ve got Clara and the boys and the house and there wouldn’t be a place for me.”
Emmett’s eyes widen despite knowing the blow was coming and before he can open his mouth, allow the words that have been building up on his tongue to break free, Marty shakes his head and continues, reinforcing the wall and keeping the words at bay just a little longer.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Doc. I already said I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t help feeling that way. And I should have asked you about your wedding and everything a lot longer ago but I-I just couldn’t. And that’s fucking stupid, right? I want to know because I couldn’t be there for you and you’ve always been there for me.”
Marty’s words are a blade driven straight through his chest, each word twisting that razor-sharp blade a little more. He can’t help the pang of guilt he feels echoing in his ribcage, scraping against the bars of a prison he will not allow it to escape from, not now. This conversation was a long time coming–he’d almost expected it sooner rather than later, but he knew better than to push, knowing Marty would open up when he was ready–but no amount of anticipation could have prepared him for the blow that hearing it put to words would strike.
The Time Machine’s destruction had not been an accident. Everything had been carefully orchestrated to prevent any further corruption of the timestream, to spare himself the temptation–the broken heart–of trying to go back against all rational, scientific thought.
Ultimately, Marty couldn’t stay in the Nineteenth Century, not if he wanted to live a normal life, not if he wanted to be happy. And he couldn’t allow Marty to become another unsolved disappearance, leaving the McFlys to wonder and agonise over their youngest son who vanished from the face of the Earth without a trace.
Emmett may not have planned to stay, but even he couldn’t predict Clara’s intervention. 
Life had to go on, even under extreme or difficult circumstances. There was only one choice available, then.
Still, Emmett doesn’t hesitate.
“Marty, I could never forget you. Whether we’re in the same time period or separated across the timestream, you will always be my best friend. And I will never stop caring about you. I know things have been busy lately, both for you and for me, what with your college courses and the boys’ schooling and Clara’s acclimation to the Twentieth Century and making the necessary repairs on the house–” Emmett stops himself before he runs off the entire list of seemingly infinitely-growing projects on his list. 
“The point is, nothing is going to change that. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel neglected or unwanted at any point, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Marty nods, finally pulling his eyes away from the photo to take a good long look at his best friend. 
“I know, Doc. God, I know. You must think I’m an asshole.” 
“You’re not an asshole. Far from it.”
Marty actually smiles at that, swirling his hot chocolate carefully in the cup. “So… You’ll still tell me about your wedding day?”
“Of course I will, Marty.” Emmett pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression working its way over his face. Then, he smiles, almost conspiratorially as he recalls something of particular note. “The minister certainly wasn’t pleased when we changed until death do us part to something a little more fitting–until the end of time—”
@bttfdoctober
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#LET'S GOOOO#SO. i've got a lot of thoughts about well everything but#i definitely think that while marty loves clara and the boys of course he couldn't help but be wary of them at first#feel jealous. think he was being replaced because now he wasn't the most important thing to doc#he's got the boys and a beautiful wife - why would he need/want marty along?#and there was definitely some jealousy and even low-key resentment/hostility at first which clara most certainly noticed#marty feels terrible about that but he couldn't help it. and neither doc nor clara reproach him for it because he's not wrong to feel as su#and though life gets busy doc could never forget marty but it's easy to forget that for marty - especially in the wake of all that's happen#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding#one of the most important days of his best friend's life and he missed it#and missed ten years of doc's life too - separated by the once again impassable barrier of time.#it's a lot. it's complex and messy and all that#marty does want to know about the wedding - absolutely - but there's still so much they have to talk about#and this got so fucking long. 1200+ words and they all suck fjlk;asd;jf#BUT IT'S WRITTEN AND OH WELL.#i'll get back into the swing of it later#i have many many thoughts about the doc/clara wedding too ugh#clara looked absolutely beautiful and you can't convince me otherwise. she was the only one at that ceremony for doc and you know it#also this was supposed to go in a totally different direction yet somehow we ended up here. whoops! i strike again.
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