#and i really like the body remembers because it's so compassionate

[bluebeary-jay]

Face to face

Din Djarin x f!Mandalorian!Reader

Summary: as riduurs, you and Din can finally show your faces to each other without suffering any consequences. but when the time finally comes, your insecurities and fears of rejection come into play, threatening to ruin this important moment

Tags: just pure tooth-rotting fluff, Din and Reader being insecure, they're sweethearts though and so in love, Din being a supporting husband <3, mandalorian customs are probably half-accurate but i did my best in research 😌

Word count: 3K

A/N: haiii guys!! long time no see 🤗 i had this idea ever since i watched s2 of the mandalorian almost a month ago and i'm finally done! thank you to all who stick around and i really hope you'll enjoy my first attempt at writing din (feel free to let me know what you think 🤭)! i love all of you darlings 🥰 and as always, happy reading!! 💕

Din Djarin wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he always wanted a family. The memories of his parents were hazy, but he remembered how much they loved each other and in the depths of his soul longed for a connection like this someday. Being the bounty hunter didn’t give many opportunities to look for a relationship, however, and with time he abandoned the hope for a place and people he could call home. He convinced himself that he was content being on his own.

But then the Child came along, and with it everything has changed. This little wrinkly womp rat became the most precious being in his life and Din was ready to die to protect Grogu – but he never expected that he’d also meet his future riduur because of the kid.

He did. You, a fellow Mandalorian Din spoke to only a couple of times in the hideout on Nevarro, decided to help him on his quest, and from this moment on he didn’t stand a chance. You were everything Djarin admired – brave, compassionate, skillful and kind – and though you both respected the Way of the Mandalore and never removed your helmets in each other’s presence, he knew in his soul that you were beautiful as well.

It was a long road to come to terms with what he felt for you and gather the courage to actually let you know it. But it was all worth it just for this moment when you exchanged your vows and he officially became yours, and you his. Now you were his riduur and he finally had every right to admire and cherish you like you deserved.

And most importantly, he could finally see you. The pair of you talked about this moment a lot during the nights spent on the Crest, tangling your fingers together when the ship was flooded with pitch-black darkness. Din used to whisper to you of his dreams, how he longed to run his eyes over your uncovered body, taking his time to commit to memory every little detail of your physique and expressions. You, with a giddy and wistful tone, told him how impatient you were to at last find out how his lips would feel on yours and what color his eyes were. Even when you both knew you were going to marry, you didn’t rush things and never removed your helmets until your union became official.

But you did see each other’s faces, once, though not in a conventional way. Din remembered it clearly as a day, though his eyes – as well as yours – were covered by a piece of a material the entire time. Both of you were desperate for each other that night, the tension hanging above your heads straining the resolve about waiting. And then came the moment when you didn’t fight it anymore. Instead, you both sat down on Din’s cot and without your sense of sight spent the next hour talking and trailing fingertips down each other’s faces.

Din reminisced about this moment a lot of times. He tried to remember the shape of your features to create a full picture of you in his mind while he laid alone in his bed, longing for your vicinity. Even if your bodies were separated only by the layers of beskar, it was still too far for him.

He didn’t have to wait any longer now.

It was the day of your wedding and Din Djarin never felt happier than in that moment when you recited Mandalorian vows and he got to touch your bare hand again, not covered by a glove, to put a custom-made ring on your finger. It wasn’t a necessary but he wanted to make this day memorable and meaningful for you. A few tears of joy were shed, but his face was still concealed by the helmet, allowing his emotions to take hold of him.

He hadn’t let go of your hand since the small ceremony (if one could even call it that) ended, and you squeezed his palm every few steps as you walked toward a house that was going to be your home for the next couple of days. The Child was being taken care of by other Mandalorians so that you could be completely alone for this special moment.

You were buzzing with excited energy for the whole week prior to your wedding, but now Din could sense his partner’s nervousness. He wasn’t exactly surprised – after all, it has been years for both of you since anyone saw you without your helmet on. But with every moment that you neared the bedroom, you seemed more insular, more withdrawn and hesitant, and Din started to really worry.

“Are you okay, cyar’ika (darling)?”

You slowed down, not answering right away, which caused Din to furrow his brows with confusion. Maybe you didn’t want to do it after all? Maybe it was too sudden for you? Or maybe he came off as too eager?

“Cyar’ika,” he repeated softly, wanting to put you at ease – but it didn’t seem to meet the target. “If you’re not ready…”

“No. No, I’m ready. I just…”

You trailed off. Din wordlessly guided you to the edge of the bed, cradling your hands in his – one gloved one and one not. The light of the setting sun flowed in through the small window and reflected off the hard beskar you both wore, bathing your figure in a beautiful golden light.

He was already so in love with you. What could possibly be the cause of your hesitation?

“I’m just nervous,” you murmured at last with your head bowed, looking at your joined hands. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” the Mandalorian repeated before he could think, and shook his head slightly. “What are you… What are you talking about? Why would I ever be?”

You lifted your gaze, and though Din couldn’t see your eyes, he could almost feel the weight of your fears on his own shoulders. The modulator in your helmet was hiding any trace of it, but he knew you long enough to recognize the tiniest shift in your body language.

“Ner kar’ta (my heart). I could never be disappointed with you.” He laced his fingers with yours, once again admiring how perfectly they fit together, and lifted them to his chest. “You own my heart and soul now, and nothing will change that.”

He hoped to soothe your nerves, but you were still silent. It wasn’t at all what Mando was expecting from this evening and he was at a loss for what to do to fix it.

“Would it help if I showed you my face first?” he asked after some time, and your head snapped up.

“No.” Even with the modulator, your voice clearly sounded broken and regretful, and it was wounding Din more than anything else could. “We were supposed to do it together.”

“We can,” he assured quietly, swiping his thumb over your knuckles. “But the most important thing to me… is for you to feel comfortable during it. If you want to wait–”

“I don’t.” You untangled your hands from his hold and instead brought them to his chest, placing them on the beskar breastplate. He couldn’t wait to take it off and feel your touch on his skin. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t marry you and make you my riduur.”

You leaned forward and lightly bonked your helmets together, a sweet gesture Din loved since the first time you did it.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum or’atu an mayen. (I love you more than anything.) More than life itself.”

“I know,” he answered simply and delicately brought your hands to the edges of his helmet. It was obvious what he was offering you. “That’s why I’m willing to do it for you.”

You were still, not daring to move, and Din nodded slightly to show you that he’s certain of his decision. His heart was beating heavily in his chest, though, and he could feel sweat forming on the back of his neck.

Showing your face to others was one of the worst crimes in Mandalorian culture, but doing it with your riduur was the highest honor that not everyone was fortunate enough to experience. But Din Djarin was among the lucky ones. Even though it was not in a way he always imagined, he didn’t care as long as you were happy.

You gripped the edges of his helmet tighter and a high hiss sounded, a telltale sign that the metal piece was ready to be removed. And slowly – so very slowly – you did. Din felt a flow of cooler air on his hot skin: first his chin, then his cheeks, finally his forehead…

And lastly, he inhaled shakily before lifting his head to look into the void of your visor.

A second passed by. Then two. Then ten, though Din felt like it must’ve been a full minute now. And still you didn’t move, just watched him silently, motionless as a statue.

The Mandalorian swallowed with difficulty, starting to feel very self-conscious. The crisp air cooled the sweat gathering on the nape of his neck and he had to use all his self-control not to fiddle his fingers nervously. He felt so naked and exposed under your gaze, though he absolutely shouldn’t – you were his riduur and there was no reason to feel ashamed or insecure with you. But he couldn’t help worrying: what if he wasn’t what you expected? What if you didn’t find him attractive at all?

Then a movement of your hands drew his attention and he watched, transfixed, as you slowly started to take off your glove, tugging one finger off at a time. Once your hand was freed from the confines of the protective material, you flexed your fingers before lifting both of your palms to his face.

Even though Din was acutely aware of your every move, he still somehow flinched in surprise at your touch, causing you to freeze and search his eyes with the air of concern around you. He quickly gave you a small nod, silently begging you to proceed, and, thankfully, you did. Your fingertips traced his cheeks, so delicately it almost tickled, brushing down the path to his stubble, and then back up to the arch of his nose and eyebrows. Djarin’s eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a shaky breath, giving in to the most amazing sensation that your touch was.

“I knew you had to be the most beautiful being in the galaxy,” you whispered from under your helmet with a voice filled with a plethora of raw emotions. Din regretted not being able to see your face at that moment, but if it would help you feel more comfortable in such a memorable and important situation, he was ready to do anything for you.

“I’m sure you’re a million times more radiant, cyar’ika,” he said back. His voice was weirdly weak and raspy, sounding strangely to him – probably because he knew there was another person hearing him without his helmet on. “Even if I don’t see your face, mesh’la (beautiful), today or ever… The love I have for you will never change or waver. That I promise.”

“It won’t exactly be fair to the Creed if I don’t remove my helmet in front of my husband,” you answered, half-teasing, but Din knew there was a real worry behind your words.

“You know very well there’s nothing said about it in the Creed.” He opened his eyes, offering you a small smile. “And I don’t remember our vows mentioning it, either.”

You clicked your tongue with exasperation, but Din also saw your shoulders relaxing, a sign that some of your nerves ebbed away.

“Gev bic (stop it),” you laughed, letting your hand fall down – but before it could happen, Din caught your wrist and lifted it back to his face. He slowly kissed the inside of your palm, down to the veins disappearing under your sleeve, his eyes fixated on your visor the entire time. His smile grew slightly when he felt a shiver run through you.

“I love you, ner kar’ta,” he whispered. “Even if you’re a half-Hutt under your armor.”

“Don’t push it.”

You let go of his hand and Din’s face fell, fearing that he really went too far. He reached for you but stopped when you straightened up and took a deep breath, your hands going to the last thing that separated you from him – your helmet.

He held his breath and his heart beat erratically as he watched you. He tried not to blink, not wanting to miss the moment when he finally got to see your face. Just the fact that you were willing to do this meant so much to him, but…

Slowly, you took your helmet off and placed it down on the mattress right next to his. Then, a pair of irises gazed into the depths of Din Djarin’s heart.

…you were wrong.

Oh, how wrong you were.

There was no mistaking it that you were by far the most breathtaking sight the Mandalorian had ever laid his eyes on.

The Maker must’ve been overly generous, or maybe favored you, for looking at you… it felt like coming home.

You stared at him with gentle, tentative eyes of the most beautiful color in the world, and Din would’ve gladly lost himself in them. Your lips, so tempting and soft-looking, were parted slightly as you awaited his reaction, but he couldn’t move. He just watched, spellbound, and wondered if this truly is reality and not some cruel, elusive dream.

He hadn’t felt such awe even when he saw Grogu doing his magic for the first time. Hadn’t felt such elation even when a new skin made of beskar was forged just for him. Had never before felt such love in his life.

You were a wonder. A miracle.

“Cyare?”

Your voice sounded almost fearful to your ears, but you couldn’t help it – Din seemed unable to utter even a word, and panic started to flood your veins when you noticed tears gathering in his dark, beautiful eyes. “Din–”

But before you could move away, he slipped off the bed and knelt by your feet. You were so taken aback by this action that you didn’t even react when he cradled both of your hands in his and pressed lingering kisses to your fingers, one after another.

“If I could, I’d marry you all over again,” he rasped, meeting your gaze with so much love and adoration in his brown eyes that it took your breath away. “How did I get so lucky…?”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you let out a breathless laugh of relief, your pupils darting across the lines and grooves of his face. “You… you’re not just saying that, right?”

“Cyar’ika, look at me.” He gently tilted your chin up, making your eyes meet his. For a second he faltered, parting his lips in wonder at the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, before he swallowed and gazed at you again. “Do you doubt my words?”

No. There was really no questioning his motives. You knew Din was as honest as one could be and there were only your own insecurities at play here. But the longer you looked at him, his expression so full of love and devotion, the less relevant your own doubts were becoming.

You couldn’t think of anything else but him.

“I really want to kiss you,” you whispered instead of answering, and his face broke into a wide, joyous grin. “Can I–?”

The Mandalorian didn’t even wait for you to finish – the second those words left your mouth, he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours forcefully, eliciting a surprised sound out of you, which soon turned into a needy whimper. You didn’t give him a chance to back away and instantly tangled your fingers into his hair, moving clumsily to be closer to him.

But when you attempted to climb onto his lap, your breast plates collided with a metallic clank, forcing the pair of you to put some space between you. Din huffed with frustration, while you laughed and cupped his face in your hands.

“You’re quite impatient for a bounty hunter,” you accused him playfully, nudging your nose with his. You took a deep, calming breath, wanting to surround yourself with the smell of him completely, but your riduur didn’t let you indulge for long.

He moved quickly and, without a warning, kissed you briefly again – and then one more time. It was more like a light peck, and you longed to feel his tongue inside your mouth once more, but at the same time relished in every sensation that his lips brought. Every touch he gave you was something infinitely precious.

“I’ve waited longer than you,” he murmured. His hands were already moving, taking off the beskar on his forearms and shoulders, reaching where he could without removing you from his lap just yet. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, cyar’ika.”

You smiled widely and looked up from his deft fingers to throw another teasing comment, but in one second you lost your train of thoughts.

Because Din was blushing.

The feared Mandalorian’s face – a face you were finally allowed to see whenever you desired – was sprinkled with redness across his cheeks and ears. And you were the cause of that.

The thought of it almost caused your eyes to water.

“What are you looking at, mesh’la?”

Your eyes found him again and you smiled brightly, causing Din’s heart to skip a couple of beats.

You took his stubbly chin in-between your fingers and brought his lips closer, planting a soft kiss there that had the Mandalorian melting. He covered your hand with his, feeling the band on your finger under his own.

A miracle.

“I’m looking at you.”

[heerinnie]

Imagine having threesome with heehoon, like they both would tease you, and make you beg for their dicks. Tie you on the bed and fill your ass and cunt at the same time. Or cover your eyes with a blindfold and than fuck you one by one and ask you who is it? And when you tell them the wrong answer, they would go extra rough on you and make your body go numb and I can imagine them cursing alot while fucking you senselessly. Like "yeah, you like that slut. You like being railed by two dicks at the same time" "wrong answer whore, now get your ass up and be ready for the punishment"

RAH 🦅DONT EVEN because I love your brain rn.

Ngl i see Hoon and Hee as two different people in bed. Hoon seems like the kind of individual who would push you to your limits and make you feel inferior, 100% hard mean dom that punishes you even when you happen to laugh at a joke told by a guy other than him or Hee and then asking you if his joke really was funny or if you wanted to add a groupie to your roster. His behaviour could be seen as toxic in some situations but after fucking you dumb know he didn't mean a single word he said. Outside of the bedroom he really is an amazing and compassionate boyfie completely contrasting his wild and animalistic side in bed.

On the other hand, Hee comes across as someone who’s gentle with you, a soft dom if I do say so myself. He’d whisper gentle words of praise in your ear, cooing at you for taking him so well and for all the ways you'd let him have your body and mind. Now this might come out of nowhere but I must spread my heesub agenda. This man is such a switch, he’d be a soft dom in bed but the biggest brat known to man if you take control. And absolute menace because nothing beats the way your irritated brow twitched when he spoke back and he just lived when you took it out on him.

Now all of that mixed in with being in a poly relationship with these two? I don't know about you but I’m sold.

They would take turns using you one by one and revel in it. The hard thrusts of Hoon using you like a fleshlight, bruising your hips with his grip along with Hee whispering sweet nothings and telling you about how much of a good girl you are for taking him while sucking and playing with your tit would send you into overdrive, turning your mind into nothing but mush.

On most occasions things would happen the usual way as expected, the opposite parallels of your two boyfriends domming would never bore you so you couldn't complain much. However, there were some days when Heeseung's behaviour and demeanour would take a complete U-turn, surprising both you and Hoon, wondering where your sweet man went. He would align himself with Hoon's attitude, which was quite different from his usual self and he would adopt an entirely different attitude to how he treats you during sex. Same goes with hoon, there ware days where he sees your struggling and would take hours taking care of you whether it’d be eating you out until you couldn’t remember the issue or making love to you telling you how beautiful you’d look carrying his and seungie’s babies.

Back to sub hee, god when you three fuck but hee subs it’s like something straight out of porn. Moaning and whining as you play with his cock and balls teasing and edging him all whilst sunghoon fucks you in doggy like an animal in heat. Slurring degradation and praise towards you both. I’m convulsing.

I hope what you gathered from this is that their duality would be insane, I'm insane, i need them NOW.

[eggluverz]

WE REALLY WERE TIMELESS

PAIRING. dan heng x gn!reader (also dan feng x reader ig!)

WORD COUNT. 3,722

SUMMARY. dan heng does not want to remember his previous reincarnation, but there is one part he doesn't want to let go of forever— you.

SOF'S NOTE. i was listening to taylor swift's timeless and thinking about how much i love dan heng...and this was born :3 i love him sm and i def feel like love with dan heng could transcend all lifetimes <3 pls enjoy if ur a fellow dh lover :>

Dan Feng was many things. Cold and ruthless, some said. A merciless killer, said others. Revered and powerful, was the more popular and favorable opinion. But, what most people seemed to wipe from their memories was that he was also a lover.

A lover to you, at least. You, and only you. 

His days as the Imbibitor Lunae were long and laborious. He lead countless battles to destroy threats and rescued Xianzhou fleets from annihilation. 

Dan Feng was used to spending long periods away from home, but when he returned, he knew he would at least be greeted by you. 

Occasionally, you were there fighting alongside him. Capable and strong. But most of the time, you preferred using your strengths to continue studying and advancing medicine. You were compassionate and knowledgeable, and you wanted to help your injured allies rather than cause more destruction.

His favorite moments with you involved the little leisure time he had between battles when he was able to stay in his residence with you, wrapped in your embrace. 

Dan Feng, proud member of the High-Cloud Quintet, was left speechless and in awe at the sight of you. Those nights you spent together were filled with both heat and passion, and attention and love. Every moment he spent with you was intentional; he never took those times for granted. 

Of course, those times couldn’t last. 

Be it his selfishness, his arrogance, his drive to help his friend—he lost you. Not because you shunned him or turned him away, but simply because he was forced to reincarnate and locked away without the ability to say even a simple goodbye. 

His love, lost in the blink of an eye. And he may never see you again. 

Now, as Dan Heng, he was almost in denial when Jing Yuan informed him you forcibly reincarnated as soon as you heard the news of the Sedation of Inhibitor Lunae and slipped away from the Xianzhou Luofu. 

What were you to Dan Heng? Dan Feng was no longer here and Dan Heng did not want to claim his past. 

Imbibitor Lunae was not him. Renowned member of the High-Cloud Quintet was not him. 

But when Jing Yuan spoke your name, memories of his previous life rushed through him. If he didn’t acknowledge his past, would that mean you had no chance of ever being his again?

Dan Heng had no attachment to the name Jing Yuan. Yingxian no longer held special meaning either. He didn’t want it to. But hearing your name stirred something in him. It caused a battle between past and present. And the present was winning until he walked along the streets of Penacony. 

An intense shiver shot through his veins and the hairs on the back of his arm stood up. You were here.

He knew it. He felt it. Dan Heng didn’t know where exactly, but your presence was so powerful, it was something he couldn’t ignore. He wasn’t strong enough to. 

You were his first and only romantic love— A love he thought would be eternal until he got reincarnated. The draw to you was so intense he found himself wandering the wide pathways filled with Gothic buildings until he felt the call was satiated. 

It wasn’t completely gone, but he felt more relaxed. More at peace. 

Dan Heng notice his body stopped in front of a library with a square roof and he immediately entered the building. The interior was filled with rows of bookshelves and large tables, busy with scholars and those here for leisurely reasons alike.

Despite all that, Dan Heng knew where you were right as he laid eyes on you. 

You were half-hidden by piles of books as you took notes on a blank sheet of paper. You sat straight on the chair and briefly put your pen down when you noticed his staring. Your gaze met his as your eyes darted around the room. 

When they landed on Dan Heng, you tilted your head to the side as he watched you, but you showed no signs of recognition. 

His stomach churned. Of course you wouldn’t recognize him. You had reincarnated soon after Dan Feng did. Your past life was gone, your memories were gone, and he didn’t even know if your name was still the one that was so familiar on his lips. 

With an inquisitive look on your face, you beckoned him over. He was surprised that you acknowledged him so overtly, but if you were anything like your past self, he shouldn’t be too shocked. 

Dan Heng wondered if he should turn around and leave. Did he want to pretend he didn’t see you? Pretend that your fates weren’t inextricably linked? 

His heart felt like it was being torn out of his chest as he turned away, ready to go on as if this never occurred so he could continue his life as Dan Heng with no ties to the previous Imbibitor Lunae. He began walking out of the library, shoving his feelings down deep to hide them away for good. 

The cold outside air hit his face as he opened the door. It felt damp out—as if it were raining. 

Dan Heng touched the wet drops on his face before he realized it wasn’t rain. It was his tears. 

It pained him more than he cared to admit. His past love was here and he was going to throw it away before he even had another chance. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms so deep it hurt the flesh. But it had nothing on the pain his heart was feeling. 

He couldn’t do it, he realized. He couldn’t severe the bond from his past completely— Dan Heng couldn’t severe his bond with you. He’d lose a part of himself he wasn’t even aware he still had. 

The muscles in his body screamed as he entered the library once more, this time walking straight to you instead of basking in hesitation. You looked confused as you stared up at him, probably wondering why he ignored you, left, and came back all in the span of one minute.

“Hi there! Can I help you?” 

Dan Heng instantly froze at your words. He yearned for the familiarity; a sense of comfort washed over him at your simple acknowledgement. 

But it didn’t look like you knew who he was. There wasn’t an ounce of recognition on your face even as he stood closer. 

It’s me. Do you remember? he wanted to ask. The desire to reach out and grab your hand, touch your face, was strong enough to make his heart pound. But he refrained. If you didn’t know who he was, it might frighten you if he did that. And discomfort was the last thing Dan Heng wanted to make you feel.  

You laughed nervously, letting out a single cough to fill the silence. 

Dan Heng, realizing he hadn’t said a word, quickly scanned the books you had stacked up. They were books on medicine and the evolution of healthcare. He tried to find something relevant to say.

“I almost gave someone CPR once.”

You blinked slowly, a small and uncertain smile on your face. “That’s great! I think…” For a moment, you considered what he said. “I supposed it’s not great if someone was in a situation where they needed CPR. But it is great you were willing to help.”

Dan Heng nodded, glad his plan went well. 

“Why did they need CPR? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“We found them unconscious. They had a weak heartbeat and pulse so I wanted to make sure they stayed alive.” 

You took in this information, looking slightly impressed. “Typically, we start CPR when there’s no pulse, but if the individual begins gasping for breathe, it’s usually a good sign to start CPR.” 

“I see.”

The two of you fell into a long silence before you gently cleared your throat. 

“Is that all you had to say?” you asked. Dan Heng suspected you didn’t exactly buy that he wanted to talk to you solely about CPR. “Earlier, when you were looking at me, you had a strange look on your face. It looked like you recognized me.” 

Dan Heng stilled. 

You clasped your hands together on top of the table, leaning forward almost conspiratorially. “Do I know you?”

His breathing quickened at the prospect of you remembering your past with him. 

“Maybe from a birthday party as a kid? Or did we go to the same school?” 

Dan Heng’s face dropped. “Oh. No.” 

You hummed in thought.

“You…might know me, though.” 

Curiously, you raised your brows at his vague response. He wondered if he should stop himself, but he wanted to tell you about your past life. Maybe then you would remember him. 

But would that be a good idea? Would it work in the first place? 

Dan Heng didn’t know. 

He felt impulsive but he needed to talk to you more. “I can explain more, but can we go outside first?” 

You craned your neck to the side, considering your options. He knew what he asked of you was something ridiculous in the eyes of a stranger. To stop what you were doing, take time out of your day, and follow this man you had only just spoken to with no explanation. 

It was wishful thinking to expect a yes. 

Yet somehow, you always managed to surprise him. “Of course. Let me just return these books.” 

Dan Heng tried to hide how pleased he was as he patiently waited for you to turn the books back into the librarian. He offered to help you carry them, but you managed to gather the heavy stack into your arms in its entirety. 

“Now I’m ready,” you said with a smile, eyes studying him in wonder. You looked confused, but you didn’t seem concerned. Perhaps something inside of you also sensed familiarity. “Do you want to see the stars with me?” 

He nodded and you led him to a clear, grassy spot away from the town. The grass was tall and green, pastel wildflowers growing amongst the landscape. You smoothed down your clothes and sat on the soft ground. Dan Heng sat next to you, careful to respect your personal space and keep a slight distance. 

He took in the scenery of the night before he saw you gazing at the stars. He quickly followed suit, tilting his head back.

Moments of tranquil silence passed by before he asked, “Do you know what I am?”

You didn’t miss a beat, almost as if you were expecting that question to come. “You appear human, but your presence doesn’t feel as so.”

“Much like you, correct?” he countered. “A Vidyadhara.”

You touched your head instinctively, the place where your horns should be. With wide eyes, you hastily put your arms back against your sides. 

Dan Heng raised his brow. 

“I thought my appearance had changed suddenly,” you said with a nervous laugh. 

He shook his head. “I’m sorry to cause such alarm. You don’t need to worry; you still appear human as well.” 

“It’s not as if I’m trying to pretend I’m not a Vidyadhara,” you explained, “it’s just easier to live here and be unnoticed with this appearance.” You looked away from the starry sky and turned to face Dan Heng. “And you— Why do you choose to appear human?” 

“I refuse to pay for the sins of my past reincarnation. It’s not me,” he said, voice tense. “That’s not who I am.” 

“You remember your past reincarnation?” you asked, your body perking up. Embarrassed by your eagerness, you stilled. “Sorry. That’s insensitive. There must be a reason you don’t want to remember. Sometimes, I just can’t help but wish I did.” 

The corners of Dan Heng’s mouth tilted upward. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t care for my past…except for one particular detail.” 

You shifted your position to sit with your legs folded over the other. You didn’t say anything, instead letting him speak as he felt comfortable.

“Maybe one particular person is more accurate.” 

Your eyes closed as you breathed deeply, the wind blowing around the two of you as if creating a bubble from the rest of the world. In deep concentration, you changed into your normal Vidyadhara form. Your ears were pointed, regal horns emerged from the top of your head, and you looked taller as your tail appeared underneath you. 

Expectantly, you looked at him. 

Dan Heng hesitated, but soon followed suit. He felt his body change to the one of his past as he revealed his true form to you. 

“Am I the person in your past?” you asked slowly, examining everything from his turquoise horns and dark hair, to his long tail landing in a semi-circle around you. 

He smiled to himself. Attentive as always, he thought. Lifetimes had passed, the galaxies never stopped moving, yet you were just as he remembered. Your experiences may have been different, as did the environment you grew up in, but at your core, you were still thoughtful, caring, and intelligent. No matter the reincarnation, you were still you— His beloved. 

A conflicted look formed on his face as that thought. Dan Heng was getting ahead of himself. He wasn’t Dan Feng. You couldn’t be his. 

You didn’t let his lack of response deter you, instead staring up at him with a hopeful gaze. “I’m sorry if that’s too personal of me to ask. It’s only… Something about you just feels safe and warm.”

His tail swayed back and forth. You felt it too?

“But you’re a stranger in this life, as far as I know,” you said with small laugh. “So why do you seem so familiar? Perhaps it means in my previous, you weren’t so strange.”

Dan Heng noticed his tail getting closer to your body before he managed to sway it the other way. You bumped yours against his mischievously. He jolted in surprise, both at the sudden touch of his tail—which he hadn’t felt in years and years—but also the small spark running through him at the point of contact. 

You bristled as well. “What was that?”

“I am not sure either.”

For a moment, you were lost in your thoughts. He wondered what you were thinking as your eyes swirled, looking more captivating than any galaxy he has ever seen. Your elegant horns looked as if they were glowing against the night sky and he wanted to reach out and feel them like he used to. One of your sensitive spots, he remembered. 

“I felt something when our tails brushed,” you said slowly, thinking your words through. “It wasn’t much, but it felt like a glimpse of my previous life. Do you think I can touch you more?”

Dan Heng absolutely did not mind if you touched him. Anywhere—for that matter. But he figured what was visible would be safest for the time being. He bowed his head, offering his horns to start with. “As you wish.”

You smiled brightly and his heart fluttered. He felt deep down he would do anything for you. Even confront his past life. And he vowed that what he didn’t do in his past life—spend enough time with you before it was too late—he would do in this. If only you allowed him. 

Reaching out, your gaze was fixed on his tall horns. You started with a careful touch to the tip and ran your fingers down to where his horns branched out. Heat and cold were both searing through his body at the touch and he was certain from your expression you felt the same. Your hands trailed down his face, feeling the point of his ears and resting on his cheek. 

Whether it was from the pain of the intensity coursing through you or whether it was because you were remembering your past life, Dan Heng saw tears rolling down your cheeks. 

He brought his hand up to you to wipe them away, but stopped right before he could touch your skin. “May I?” 

You nodded, a light sniffle coming from you and Dan Heng yearned to be of comfort. 

He started with a light brush of his thumb to gather the wetness on your face, gently wiping it off. Then, same as you did to him, he felt the elongation of your ears and ran hs fingers from the base of your horns to the very top. They were just as smooth as he remembered and he felt you tremble at the touch. He smiled. They were still also as sensitive as ever. 

“Are any memories resurfacing for you?” he said quietly. 

Your eyes were squeezed shut yet tears still leaked from them. It took a while for your to respond, overwhelmed by all the emotions, but eventually you managed to ask, “Is it… Dan Feng?”

“Dan Heng now,” he gently corrected. “I don‘t go by that name anymore.”

At that confirmation, you cried even more, jumping into his arms and burying your face in his chest. 

“It‘s been so long,” you said in exasperation, your words mixed with sniffles. “The Sedation— We didn’t even get to say goodbye!” You paused, removing yourself from his chest and looking up at him. “Rather, I didn’t get to say goodbye to Dan Feng. But with you here, maybe now I can.”

He nodded in understanding. His ending was so abrupt. Due to his own hubris and for the life of his closest friend, he ended up sacrificing himself. And in the long run, he learned he even sacrificed you. Dan Heng would never treat your relationship with him so casually again. He should’ve showed you it was the top priority in his life. 

Dan Heng watched in silence as you closed your eyes and whispered under your breath. He didn’t fully understand what you were saying, but he allowed you to have your private moment and say your goodbyes. He said goodbye to the past you as well—a right that was also stripped away from him as he was forced into reincarnation without second thought. Anger rose in his cheeks at those who took that away from him. From you. But it died down. Ultimately, what Dan Feng did wasn’t a part of him now. Maybe the person he is today wouldn’t have agreed with those past actions in the first place. 

Moments turned into minutes and minutes turned to hours before you finally opened your eyes and looked at him. Your gaze was clearer, as if it was truly him—Dan Heng—you were seeing. 

You smiled wistfully, hand gently stroking the spine of his tail. “I may have said goodbye to Dan Feng, but, at your core, the Dan Heng in front of me still feels like the man I love.”

He hummed in thought. He understood exactly what you were feeling. “Your core is the same too,” he said, his palm resting on your chest where your heart was beating. “You’re someone I will always love. And I’m sorry it took me so long to find you.”

Your face broke into an expression of sadness and Dan Heng felt his heart tightened. 

“I’m sorry I, as Dan Feng, left you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you until the end.”

You shook your head, trying to force a happy look on your face. “No, it’s okay. You didn’t leave me. You were taken and punished and I couldn’t say goodbye. But I forgive you.”

“Why? I valued my power and my friend��s life and, ultimately, was selfish and didn’t consider the impact on yours. There are so many reasons I don’t want to hold onto my past. But if being here with you means facing it, I will.”

You sighed, a small, sad chuckle escaping your lips. “You see someone selfish and arrogant, but I see a kind and selfless soul who wanted his friend to be there with him forever.”

Dan Heng thought back in shame of the Blade he met on Luofu. 

“Our pasts are linked, but so are our presents,” you said, lifting his chin up. “You’re not Dan Feng anymore, are you?”

He nodded firmly. 

You smiled in acceptance. “You’re not exactly my first love, Dan Feng, but I have a feeling I’ll like this Dan Heng person even more, anyway.”

His body immediately warmed and he wanted to melt into your touch. You were always so kind, so thoughtful. Dan Feng may have messed up and got the two of you separated, but he would never. 

“In our last life and this life, and if we have even more to come, we will always find each other,” he vowed. 

You touched your forehead to his before leaning in for a kiss. He met your lips as if he were securing a promise. A promise not to leave you again, a promise he was really here, and a promise he still loved you. There was so much he had to learn about your new life—and you, his. But Dan Heng was certain it’d only make him love you more. 

He had gone through the betrayal of a friend, the betrayal of a nation, and death and exile from the very place he once called home, but no pain compared to that of losing you. And now that he found you again, he didn’t want to make the same mistakes as his past reincarnation. 

You placed your hand on his cheek and deepened the kiss, breaking him out of his thoughts. Your hand was warm against the cool air of the night. Dan Heng ran his hand down to your waist and wrapped around to rest on the small of your back. He pushed you closer to him, wanting to feel your body against his. The heat emanated through the fabric of your clothes and the faint smell of wildflowers and vanilla filled his senses. It was a familiar scent he had always loved. 

He smiled into the kiss and you moved closer, draping a leg around his hip. Dan Heng didn’t ever want to let you go, but he knew he had nothing to fear. Now he knew the strength of your bond—how the draw to each other could withstand lifetimes. 

Not even time itself could separate you from him. 

[monratarot]

Who will be your future spouse?

Pick a card reading🍄🦋🌸💗

Hello guys! Moni here! 🧚🏼‍♀️

It's almost the half of the month so I was thinking that this would be a good opportunity for those who are single and searching for love.

Here is a free reading about your future spouse. Pick the pile that you are most drawn to and scroll down to read about your future partner. Keep in mind that gender can be reversed.

Takes what resonate with you because remember that this is just a general reading and it might not apply for everyone.

Don't forget to like/reblog/comment and follow me! I would really appreciate it because it will help my blog grow!

So let's get started! Enjoy!💟

Moni🧚🏻‍♀️

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Your feedback is highly appreciated

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Like and reblog to claim your pile

Pile 1 🍄☁️🌸 Pile 2 🍄☁️🌸Pile 3

└─── °∘💮∘° ───��� └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘ └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘

Pile 1 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

MR CREATIVE - control over emotions, diplomatic, compassionate ↓manipulative, a master of emotions with selfish intentions

When you can meet them – Libra season or 7 weeks/7 months, on a Sunday

He is charming and confident but comfortable to be around.

Astrological associations - Libra and Scorpio

Men or women over the age of 40

emotionally passionate

a person with auburn, red, or medium colored hair

solid love

someone dynamic, active, and radiate confidence;

creative man, the poet, the man who dreams deeply

they can be sometimes wishy-washy but always with the flow of things even if he can be frustratingly laid back at the time

vitality, passion, and appetite for life, deeply sensual and not ashamed of his pleasure or his body

in their negative they becomes the addicted or the impotent lover(he becomes posses and lost, living only for the pleasure at the moment

nurture, guide, and support others; act socially responsible; let yourself be touched and moved; listen to others with sympathy and understanding; use intuition in decision-making

Key meaning of the relationship:

a compassionate and somewhat emotional person

a warm and gentle guy, liked by many for his easy nature

warmhearted, charismatic person

they follow their intuition in their work

they are sociable, but sensitive and need to choose their friends wisely

ideal romantic partner

motivated to help others through direct action and cooperation, serene, calm

subtle, friendly, sympathetic, caring, compassionate, affectionate

avoids conflicts and problems, willing to help, co-dependent

hypersensitive to indifference and criticism, difficulty in saying “no”

pessimistic, gloomy, doesn't want to offend or disappoint anyone

nostalgic, unstable, easily seduced, duplicity, rigid control of or hides emotions, manipulation

telling others what they want to hear, can be overwhelming by another's pain

Oracle Message: Support others by supporting yourself first.

Your day may also feel confused, changeable, and with many different things that seem to require your attention from upset teenagers to misunderstandings with others that arise from unchecked emotions.

Time for you to consider finding your own support from this type of person.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

a sexy or sensual feel to your love life; a focus on primal urges, sexuality, and dominance; beginnings of a romance that is very physical but sometimes lacking on more substantial levels; the attraction in a new relationship will be based on appearances rather than things in common

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

goal setters and go-getters

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

army soldiers

coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 2 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

I KNOW I'M A DREAMER - romance, adventurism, an invitation ↓moodiness, someone who is too charming, heated emotions/temper

When you can meet them – Pisces season, 12 weeks/12 months, on a Saturday

They are a dedicated, motivated, emotional, tender, sensitive, and loving person

Element - the fire of the suits of water - Aquaris + Pisces

romance, relationships

dreamy, charming, romantic

being focused on love

man or women under the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

faithfulness

this knight’s quest is love

romantic person, a love interest & also yourself in the throes of full-on love

tendency to be manic by nature(one moment you are the love of his life and the next one you are the thorn in their ass)

tendency to be jealous by nature

stalker

Key meaning of the relationship

prosperity, property and beginnings

the beginning stages of something tangible

growth

material abundance

new enterprise

finances or wealth; a solid fruitful foundation

a promotion

good luck

unexpected money

Oracle Message: Act with love, express yourself, be creative.

Allow yourself the time to write poetry, prepare a sumptuous meal, plan that secret date for your partner.

Do something special for your lover today – flowers, chocolates, that date – but something unusual like ice skating, or a quiet out-of-town dinner, something that is intimate and full of togetherness.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

love is around the corner and sparks are already flying; great opportunities for growth and positive natural change in romance; speak up and act out in order to get what you want; new relationship, go with the flow; time to pursue new love, to feel silly with someone or just to fall unconditionally in love with you(embrace your inner fool and trust that falling into this phase is the point)

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

creators

pioneers and adventurers

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 3 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

Mr PRACTICAL - abundance, security, financial success ↓greed, temptation, infinite desire for more things

When you can meet them – in Capricorn season, 10 weeks/10 months, on a Tuesday

They are thoughtful and wise, not rushing decisions nor being swayed to conform to modernity

Element - the air of the suit of earth

Astrological association - Aries and Taurus

a generous person

man or women over the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

finding happiness

seeing failures as winds

natural business person

great sense of humor

seeing failures as wins

being positive, being thankful

honest soul

naive for love

educated

emotional

person who demonstrates how resources are gained and used

they are always there

common-sense, apparent, reliable, accomplished, solid, steady, calm, wealthy, supportive

the user of secret knowledge, the knower, and the master of the technology

in their negative - they becomes the manipulator or the denying “innocent” one; taking advantage of others through specialized knowledge(leads to false superiority, isolation, and loneliness)

Oracle Message: This is a day for holding court & solving issues.

People see you as someone trustworthy, authoritative, level-headed, and great in a crisis.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

you no longer have the tolerance for the drama that a younger kind of love would offer, what you want is to be with someone who understands what life is really about; you will be successful in your endeavors - have faith

Possible job:

estate agent/developers

businessman/manager

director

master craftsman

banker

stock broker

teacher/educator

merchants

businessman

bodybuilder

bodyguard

professional athlete

entrepreneur

lawyer

banker

consultant

gardener

doctor

electrician

[writingwithcolor]

Any advice for handling race in reincarnation situations?

@swamp-spirit asked:

I'm writing a story that includes characters being reincarnated with completely different appearances. It's a fantasy world, and most of the characters are being reborn in the same region, but I still want a range of skin tones and features in the main cast (this is a comic). I have weird feelings about a character being 'reborn' with notably lighter or darker skin, but it also feels implausible and lazy for people to Just Happen to have a similar appearance when the theology of the story doesn't support it. Characters being reborn, and taking out things specific to real life groups, what are the major things you'd want an author to read up on or take into account? (Note: there is not a 'white' looking ethnic group in this story)

I don’t think it’s a problem as long as the skin tones don’t have any correlation to the circumstances that they’re reincarnated into.

- SK

It’s an interesting question, because in most religions where reincarnation/ transmigration of the soul is a feature of “what happens after death”, remembering one’s past life is not really part of the package deal. From what you’ve written, it’s not clear to me where the “memory” of these characters’ lives are held. Is there a 3rd person omniscient narrator telling the audience who each person is in their next life or do the characters themselves retain memory of past lives?

Assuming this is your typical reincarnation scenario where characters retain no memory of previous lives, it doesn’t much matter. The next life is the next life. Who a person was in their previous life and that identity, in theory, means nothing to them. This also means whatever personality, values, experiences and so on they had in their previous life no longer has meaning. They are, in effect, another person. However, you say you feel awkward about the above which makes me wonder if characters are remembering past lives, in which case…

If you study pretty much any major Asian religion where reincarnation is a part of the belief system, having no memory of the previous life is par for the course. In present-day religions like Jainism, Sikhism, Hinduism and Buddhism, only “special” (I’m using the term very casually here) entities like bodhisattvas, guru, arihant, buddhas, etc. usually get to keep their memories, while the rest of us (literal) mere mortals are supposed to lose our memories between lives as a part of Samsara. In Hinduism, even the gods often forget their previous lives, unless their reincarnation had a targeted purpose (Like being born to defeat an evil entity). 

For most people, it is only through prayer, devotion, meditation and accumulated virtuous/ good/ compassionate deeds that humans are thought to deepen their understanding of the nature of the universe, and thus have the capacity to remember past lives (I’m, again, paraphrasing very loosely here from several years worth of university history+religion courses).  

This is why the isekai genre in Japan is largely regarded as a “cheat”/ parody genre of fantasy. The protagonist, according to common Japanese cultural beliefs, which are quite heavily grounded in Buddhism, is definitively “cheating.” Not to get too ironically biblical, the character’s success often comes from the forbidden knowledge borne of their previous life. 

Thus, there are two ways I look at your characters’ predicaments: 

It’s not technically reincarnation - not by the way most major world religions define reincarnation, anyway. You have people who died now inhabiting other bodies, but that’s not the same as the transmigration of the soul. Also, you want to delve into the weirdness (and maybe heaviness) of “Wow, I went to sleep with one face and woke up with another.” There are certainly stories about people who have had dramatic cosmetic plastic surgery, weight loss surgery, HRT, etc. and then experienced the difference in the “before” versus “after” of how their altered physical appearance makes them feel, as well as how other people treat them. Even if the community your characters are born into now differs from their previous community (Which I guess would make this more a “I traveled between dimensions, and my appearance altered in the process” sci-fi adjacent affair), their new life will still have social environments with differing attitudes towards human physical appearance that will affect your characters’ emotional states. 

Isekai it up and play with the ridiculous contradiction of having past lives and differing memories of one’s appearance. Isekai manga, manhwa and webtoons all make use of this trope heavily, especially with protagonists who experience a “glow-up” (Ex. Going from a Plain Jane OL to beautiful fantasy heroine) or, by contrast, protagonists who end up in very different forms from their original lives (Tensura, I’m a Spider, So What?). I’d be creative and go even more granular. Being able to tan after a lifetime of getting sunburns or no longer needing glasses might be nice, but what if the new body lacks the enzymes to process dairy or alcohol? What about dealing with differences in hair texture? Skincare routines? What about living life as a very tall person after being quite short or vice versa? What if you bumped into an acquaintance from your previous life, and one of you clearly got a more “coveted” reincarnation?  See how far of an extreme you can take this idea until it feels too uncomfortable or ridiculous. 

Marika.

[vivisviolets]

!⃣ Comfort PAC ~ ＊what you need to hear ＊ to help start your day ~＊

helloooo you can also find PACs like these on my insta and you can now get them all EARLY on my silly little ~* Patreon *~ okkk enjoy bye bloo bleeee~

*pile 1~!

~ Hi Pile 1s!! funny enough as I start typing I’m eating cereal- it's my 3pm breakfast pile 1!! 💀 yep maybe you can relate- but maybe not! because I actually see everyone here is a pretty easy early riser, at least during this time you’ve become very diligent. and I see the reason for that is related to job, career, and next steps involving that- and you’re becoming more diligent/rigid due to the stress of that, it feels like you’re “training” your body to be ready for more responsibilities…

~ That’s a HUGE shift pile 1, and I don’t want you to downplay it, it doesn't matter that people who have come before you have faced “more”, this is about you, your accomplishments, and what you’ve overcome up to this point- and remember!- you can’t have big accomplishments, without the smaller ones first. you guys are very sweet and compassionate people, and you need to offer a bit of that same grace and uplifting spirit you give everyone else. you all are also smartypants whether you agree or not, it’s a message coming through, that you guys are way smarter/brainy-er than you know or give yourself credit for. please lean into your confidence in your abilities, and the accomplishments you’ve already done (no matter how small) because that is your power. I love you pile 1s~ be proud of yourself!!! I’m so proud of you ♡ *pile 2~!

~ Ok so you’re pissed, or someone here is- Hello Pile 2s, what’s going on tonight? I feel like I’m answering a crisis hotline call. I feel like you picked this pile because you’re in a state of, not “needing” per se, but really wanting some love. some comfort, from someone, is that right? this could be you wanting love/comfort from a specific person, I’m feeling heavily this could be your mom, very feminine energy here- or maybe you’re in a feminine energy of wanting love from someone you view as a “protector”, this could even be someone who reminds you of a parental guardian that you’re thinking of (this could be a romantic partner or a platonic one!)... a lot of chaos/anxiety swirling within you, you could be in a fight with someone- something has happened where your vibrational energy has taken a huge low swing.

~ What to say, my loves. my dearest pile 2s. your feelings are valid. you’ve been through more than I wish to describe here in this reading. so where to go from here?... -how can you expect someone to love you when you do not love yourself?<-- wow- that was a strongly worded message that came through, and I do not agree with its harshness- but it is true... you are deserving of love and care and empathy no matter where you are, but you must put yourself first- you are blocked, and the way to become unblocked in your life, is you must show yourself that love first, that safety, that compassion. similar to “you can’t give from an empty cup”, you can’t receive coming from an empty cup as well. it will feel like it is never enough... you have to be giving to yourself along with receiving from people you trust... balance is important to you and your anxiety right now! equal giving to yourself (having alone time/self-activities) and then reaching out and interacting w/ those you trust. ok my pile 2s, I’m going to leave you with this messages right here. this is just a period in your life. let it flow. it’s going to ALL be ok. ♡ ♡ ♡ *pile 3~!

~ You guys are so cute I can’t stand it- oh Hi Pile 3s!! I literally gasped entering your energy space- and I had a hard time concentrating on keywords at first- some of you here were born in the year of the rat 🐀 - or you guys just have mouse energy to you 🐭, especially in your friends eyes. you tend to collect a lot of little trinkets don’t you? and you’re also all over the place- is that right? your energy is excitable and thus you have a hard time focusing- am I right??? yea I’m right. ~ you honestly aren’t doing anything wrong- good for youuu that might even come as a relief to hear for you... however not to get messy but I just got a falsely made violation notice on insta, gave me a heart attack but anyway-... there might be a slight shock of some kind coming your way and thus I will be using this part not just as comfort but as a reminder of your strength of character- don’t you ever change, for anyone.- self-improvement aside!! I don’t care who this person is, your mama, your dad returning from 7 years ago, your knight in shining armor- do not fit in- in an effort to get yourself somewhere. or to make someone else see your value/treat you well. you deserve that sish already- all you have to do is work on your goals and be yourself- and if you wanna swing on the playground for a couple of hours I say go for ittt!!!! love you pile 3sss I like your spark and your sparkle, don’t change it ✨♡ *consider tipping me just 1$ for early access to all my mini pacs, showing me support, and some other goodies~ i would be incredibly grateful to you and I'll think about you before i fall asleep 😴~♡

!

!

! this show made me cry and made me think everything will be ok and life is beautiful (I'm a 21 yo adult 🎀🙍‍♀️)

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love, vi~♡

[raysrays]

Fatal Attraction Chapter Three (NSFW)

18+ MDNI‼️

CW for the entire story: Breeding, Size Difference,Size Kink, Jealousy, Scent Marking, Age Difference, Vaginal Sex, Possessive Behavior, Angst, Twisted, Creampie, Angry Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Hair-pulling, Biting, Master/Pet, Light Dom/sub, Violence, Knotting.

Chapter One, Chapter Two,

Content disclaimer: This story is inspired by the amazing artist @PammyJammy117 on Twitter/X. I in absolutely no way own or claim the idea of the “Cryptid Rengoku” character. Please give credit to the original artist who inspired the story.

(If you want to be on a tag list for up coming chapters just let me know <3)

Sneaking out of a monster's den wasn't how I planned to spend my morning. My body was so sore that walking was nearly unbearable. The only reason I managed to escape was because I noticed Rengoku had a slight hearing problem.

Despite his large, pointed ears, he often asked me to speak up or claimed he couldn't hear what I was saying.

He must have been exhausted from last night too, because he didn't react to my footsteps. This "escape," if you could call it that, was likely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I tried to recall everything that had happened, but my mind remained hazy. I remembered the pleasure, the pain, and I remembered him saying something to me, but I was too wrapped up in the moment to grasp his words.

But none of that mattered now. The only thing that did was getting back to Tamayo to explain why I never returned with the firewood.

As I neared the edge of the woods, I could see the camp in the distance. My head started to spin again, and my vision became foggy.

I squinted and saw someone running towards me.

"Y/N, Y/N!" a voice called out.

Is that Yushiro?

That was my last thought before everything went black and my head hit the ground.

I was out.

—————————

When I woke up, the warm light was practically burning into my eyes. I knew exactly where I was.

As I slowly sat up from the bed, I saw Tamayo sitting at a desk in the corner of the room, appearing to take notes.

"You should lie back down. Whatever got you, got you pretty good," she said calmly.

She put down her pen and walked over to me, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling? What hurts?" She gently placed a hand on my forehead.

This was unusual. Tamayo typically gave me the "tough love" treatment, even when I was sick. So why was she being so compassionate now?

“I feel... surprisingly okay.” I moved my body slightly, not feeling nearly as bad as I had when I first made it out of the woods.

She smiled and nodded, pulling out another pen and a pad of paper. “That’s because of the medicine I gave you. You should be back to normal very soon.” Her smile was warm and reassuring.

“Are you feeling well enough to answer some questions? I need you to tell me everything you can remember about what attacked you.” She looked at me with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

I couldn't tell her about Rengoku. By the time he wakes up, I'm probably already in enough trouble with him as it is. I definitely don’t need to add to that.

I bit my bottom lip slightly as I scanned my body. Bruises and cuts covered my arms and legs, and even more were on my chest, according to Tamayo.

I looked up at her apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Tamayo, but I really can’t remember much. Everything happened so fast.”

She sighed, then her gaze stopped at my neck. “What about that?” She gestured to her own neck. “What happened there?”

I reached up and touched my neck, feeling the outline of teeth marks.

Thinking quickly, I decided to go along with what Tamayo believed. “I remember a little bit. It was large with sharp teeth, and it moved quickly. While I was collecting firewood, it ambushed me. It must have thought it had killed me and ran off.” The lie flowed out smoother than I had expected.

I watched as she scribbled my words on her notepad, making note of the beast’s appearance.

I fed her small snippets of false information about the supposed monster that attacked me. It hurt to lie, especially to someone who had always been so kind and patient with me, but what other choice did I have?

She tucked her pen behind her ear and set down her pad of paper, her gaze now fixed on me.

"Y/N."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I owe you an apology," she began.

“An apology? For what?”

"Last night, when you didn’t return with the firewood, I grew frustrated. Remembering your reluctance to travel up north with us, I thought you had grown tired of monster hunting and just ran off."

She sighed and shook her head.

"So when Yushiro recommended sending a search party to check on you, I told him to forget about it."

My eyes widened at the implication.

"I’m so sorry, Y/N. If I hadn’t been so dismissive, you probably wouldn’t have had to suffer through the night alone in the woods."

She took my hand, squeezing it gently.

"I’m so sorry. Please forgive my negligence," she said, looking at me with genuine sorrow.

My heart ached seeing her blame herself for my "attack." I wanted to tell her it wasn’t her fault and that her life's work on monsters wasn't a waste.

But I couldn’t, because I’m selfish. Despite how much Rengoku scares me, I have strange feelings for him. I don’t want to see him captured and tested on.

“It’s fine, Tamayo, really. You don’t need to feel sorry,” I said with a gentle smile. “Besides, the medicine you gave me has almost completely taken away the pain. I feel fine now!”

She smiled and pulled her hand back. “Well then, if you’re feeling so much better, you can accompany Yushiro to the next village to gather more supplies.” She stood up and walked back to the desk to gather her paperwork.

And I’m back to work…

“There are some clothes for you over there,” she pointed to a small wardrobe in the corner of the room.

“Okay, thank you.” I cleared my throat slightly.

She nodded and exited the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

As I stood up to get the clothes, a sudden ache started in my stomach, the same nausea I felt when we went up north. The side effects of disobeying a cryptid, disobeying a mate.

He must be awake now.

Maybe running into town wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. It would keep Rengoku from looking for me. He wouldn’t show his face in town.

I dressed quickly and left the small infirmary room. As I walked by, a few fellow monster hunters gave me only a cursory glance.

Stepping outside, I saw Yushiro standing near the door, absorbed in a list. When I approached, he looked up, his usual scowl replaced by an expression of concern and relief.

As I reached him, he diverted his gaze back to the list, avoiding eye contact.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, is there a lot we need to get?” I replied.

He started walking, and I fell in step beside him. He handed me the list of supplies Tamayo had given him. I scanned it briefly—mostly food and medicinal herbs.

I handed the list back, and he slipped it into the pocket of his vest. We walked in awkward silence for a moment.

“How are you feeling?” he finally asked.

I glanced at him, but he kept his eyes forward.

“Oh, I’m fine. Thanks for getting me inside and taking care of me,” I said, offering a faint smile.

He didn’t respond.

“That bite looked pretty nasty when I found you,” he said finally, glancing at the bandage on my neck.

“It wasn’t that bad,” I said, trying to downplay it. Reflecting on it, the pain hadn’t been intense—perhaps my body was still in shock, and the adrenaline had dulled the sensation.

We walked in silence until we reached the village. Once there, Yushiro pulled out the list, and we divided the tasks between us to save time.

I was responsible for gathering herbs and bandages, while Yushiro took on the rest. We parted ways, and I headed towards the market.

The market was bustling today, crowded with vendors and shoppers. After being shoved around more than I’d have liked, I finally reached a stall selling medical herbs. I quickly gathered what I needed and paid the elderly woman at the booth, then tucked the small pouch of herbs into my pocket and moved on.

Suddenly, a sharp pain flared in my chest and stomach. It felt like I might collapse. Rengoku’s influence seemed to be intensifying.

He must be really upset that I left. It wasn’t as if I planned on disappearing forever. I intended to return and visit him tonight, to show I could manage both him and my team without issues.

I gasped, clutching my chest as the pain grew more intense. It had never hurt this badly before.

I stumbled into a secluded part of the market, struggling to catch my breath and regain my composure. As I focused on the ground, a shadow fell over me, prompting me to look up.

A tall man stood before me, his muscular build evident through his clothes. When my gaze reached his face, my heart skipped a beat. His yellow and red hair, falling to his shoulders, forked eyebrows, and amber eyes were strikingly familiar. But something about his eyes was different—more intense.

“What are you doing all the way out here, little human?” he asked, smiling down at me.

My breath caught as the realization dawned.

“Rengoku?” I whispered.

He smiled wider, revealing his sharp teeth, and his eyes briefly flashed red despite his now human-like appearance.

My heart raced furiously. Even as a monster, he was alluring, but as a human, he was just as captivating.

He grasped my face, his smile fading into a look of displeasure.

“Why was it, when I woke up, that my human, my mate was gone? Especially after she pledged her loyalty and life to me?” His voice dropped dangerously low.

I was disoriented by how strange this all felt. His voice no longer had the echo I was accustomed to, and the clicking sound I had grown used to had vanished.

Am I hallucinating? Is this some side effect of Tamayo’s medicine?

His grip on my face tightened, jolting me out of my thoughts.

I struggled to find the words under the intensity of his angry gaze.

"I-I'm sorry, Rengoku. I didn't mean to make you come looking for me. Really, I intended to come back as soon as it got dark," I said, smiling nervously.

He tilted my head to the side, examining the bandage on my neck. His eyes turned back to their usual red.

"So, not only does my mate try to escape, but she also hides my mark, my claim," he growled.

He was furious, but I didn’t have time for this. If I didn’t leave now, Yushiro wouldn’t know what happened to me.

I gently lifted my trembling hand to cover his, still holding my face firmly. I needed to calm him down.

"Rengoku, please don't be upset. I had to leave, or no one would have known where I’d gone. They would have searched for me."

Oh, the irony...

He scoffed, releasing my face only to grab my wrist instead.

"They never would have found us. I would never let anyone take you away from me." He pulled me close against his chest, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"I told you, no matter where you ran, I would always come find you," he murmured, his voice echoing briefly.

I shrank back slightly.

"You're coming back home. There's no point in staying around these humans when your mate has a perfectly fine nest for you," he said, his eyes narrowing.

Before I could respond, I heard someone calling my name.

I turned to see Yushiro approaching with a basket of supplies, his face back to its usual annoyed expression.

Instinctively, I tried to pull my wrist away, but Rengoku's grip tightened painfully. I glanced up at him, his eyes filled with a deadly intensity.

As Yushiro drew nearer, Rengoku pulled me closer. I could see the confusion on Yushiro's face.

"Y/N, who’s this?" Yushiro asked, looking Rengoku up and down.

"Oh... this is just a friend of mine. We were just catching up," I said with an awkward laugh and forced smile.

Rengoku's body tensed beside me. I knew I was in trouble once this was over.

Rengoku's gaze shifted from me to Yushiro, and he practically towered over both of us. I could see Yushiro looking a bit intimidated by his size and presence.

Then, to my surprise, Rengoku's murderous look softened into a kind and friendly smile as he faced Yushiro.

I held my breath as Rengoku extended his hand to Yushiro in a seemingly friendly gesture.

"I'm Kyojuro, Kyojuro Rengoku," he said, his closed-mouth smile almost charming despite the anger radiating from him.

"Yushiro," Yushiro replied reluctantly, shaking Rengoku's hand. He was clearly uncomfortable.

Rengoku smiled as he stepped back, wrapping his arm around my waist, his hand digging into my hip.

"So, Yushiro, how do you know Y/N?" Rengoku asked, his voice calm but his grip on my hip bruising.

Yushiro looked confused but didn’t comment on the physical contact.

"Y/N and I work together. We're here on a supply run," he answered plainly, then furrowed his brows in confusion. "I'm sorry, did you say your name was Kyojuro Rengoku?"

Damn. Of course Yushiro would recognize a cryptid's name.

I quickly jumped in before things could escalate. "As nice as it is to catch up, we should probably get going, right, Yushiro?" I said, pulling the small bag of herbs from my pocket.

"Yeah, we should go," he agreed.

As I started to walk toward Yushiro, Rengoku grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Y/N, we rarely get time to talk like this. I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind returning without you so we can catch up a bit more," he said sweetly, with a hint of warning in his voice. I had no choice but to comply.

He took the small bag from my hands and tossed it to Yushiro, who quickly caught it.

"You don't mind, right?" Rengoku smiled at Yushiro.

Yushiro looked from me to Rengoku before finally agreeing. "Yeah, it's fine. I'll let Tamayo know you ran into someone you know. She’ll be happy to hear you're not completely isolated," he said, then turned and walked away.

I silently pleaded for him to stay, to not leave me with Rengoku like this. But he vanished into the crowd, leaving me alone with him.

————————

Rengoku remained silent as he dragged me out of the village and into the woods. His anger was palpable, and I was too scared to try and fix what I'd done.

Once we reached a small clearing, he let go of my arm and turned to face me, still in his human form. I should have been terrified, but he looked undeniably good.

"So, we're just two friends catching up, are we?" The usual echo in his voice suddenly returned, and his eyes changed from amber back to their glowing red.

"I didn't mean it like that. What did you want me to say? I wasn't going to expose you right then and there," I defended myself.

He stepped closer, his face angrier now.

"You shouldn't have run off in the first place if you were worried about something like that," he growled.

I bit inside of my lip slightly. I guess he was right in a way, but that wasn't the point.

He suddenly grabbed my jaw, forcing my head to tilt to the side. He ripped the bandage off my neck, revealing his mark on my skin.

Pulling me close, his face inches from mine, he said, "My mate will never cover my mark again. Is that clear?" His echoing voice had a threatening undertone.

I nodded profusely, hoping he'd let go. But he didn't. His red eyes locked onto mine, filled with desire and something else...

"Did I not please you enough, human? Was our binding session not sufficient for you?" he asked, puzzled.

"I suppose not if you were able to get up and walk away without my notice," he growled lowly.

“I’m sorry, Rengoku. I swear, everything that happened today was just a misunderstanding. I was never going to leave for good,” I tried to make it not sound as bad, but it really wasn’t working.

“A misunderstanding, I see,” he said, his tone dark.

“Well then, my sweet little mate, let’s ensure there are no more misunderstandings…” he purred in my ear.

“Wait, what are you—?”

His hand tangled in my hair, pulling my head back to expose my neck.

“This time, I’ll make sure you don’t have enough strength to get up and walk away from me,” he purred, licking up my neck.

I blushed intensely, embarrassed by my position.

“R-Rengoku…” I breathed out shakily.

His hand moved to my throat, squeezing lightly.

“Kyojuro,” he corrected firmly. “Address your mate accordingly. I won’t tell you again.”

I gasped for air.

He didn't squeeze hard enough to restrict my air flow, but it was still painful.

He squeezed harder, his other hand moving between my legs. He began to rub me through my clothes, his movements slow and teasing.

I struggled to breathe, but my body was already reacting to his touch. My hips instinctively bucked towards him, desperate for more friction.

He chuckled at my desperation. "So needy for someone who ran away from me, aren't you?"

My body was trembling with need. My breathing grew labored, and I was finding it harder to hold back.

I needed him, and I needed him now.

He removed his hand from between my legs and released his grip on my throat, allowing me to gasp for air.

Grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, he led me to a nearby tree, shoving me against it roughly.

He quickly tore up my clothes again, leaving me exposed. He then tore off his own clothes, discarding them on the ground.

I stood frozen, taking in the sight before me. I knew he was strong, but this was beyond what I had imagined. He was attractive as a monster, but his physique as a human was just as perfect.

His body was muscular and defined. I felt my core grow wet, and my clit throbbed as I gazed at his naked body.

"Are you ready, mate?" he asked, his eyes glowing bright red.

"Y-yes," I stammered, nervous and excited.

He stepped forward, his lips colliding with mine. I melted into his kiss, his tongue invading my mouth, tasting every inch.

His hands explored my body, groping my breasts, pinching and twisting my nipples.

He broke the kiss, his mouth moving to my neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin.

I moaned, enjoying the sensations. His cock, still just as big and thick as I remember twitched, the precum dripping onto the ground.

"You're mine," he growled against my skin.

His hands gripped my thighs, lifting me off the ground. My legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

He pressed his cock against my slit, rubbing the tip up and down.

"Do you want me, mate? Tell me how much you want my cock inside you," he purred, his eyes blazing red.

"Please, Kyojuro," I moaned.

"Say it. Say that you belong to me, and only me," he demanded, his voice echoing.

I'm yours, Kyojuro. Only yours," I whimpered.

With a growl, he slammed his cock inside me, his claws digging into my thighs.

I cried out as the pleasure consumed me. His cock was huge, filling me to the brim.

"You feel amazing," he groaned, starting to thrust.

My back arched as he pounded into me, his cock stretching my pussy.

He fucked me hard and fast, his pace brutal and relentless.

I could tell he was taking his anger out on me, the rage he felt when he realized I had escaped. But I didn't care. I needed him just as much as he needed me.

He panted and groaned, his body covered in a sheen of sweat. He was fucking me so hard and fast, I thought I might break.

I screamed out in pleasure, my orgasm approaching.

"Cum for me, mate," he purred.

His cock throbbed inside me, his seed spilling deep inside. The sensation pushed me over the edge, and I came, crying out his name.

He groaned as he continued to thrust, prolonging my pleasure.

“Y/N,” he growled my name into my ear.

“Yes?” I panted softly, still trying to catch my breath as I came down from my high.

He grabbed my chin, pressing his forehead to mine.

“If you ever leave our nest to go off with some other man again, I’ll kill him where he stands.”

His threat made my blood run cold, but I was so lost in the moment, consumed by pleasure, that I didn’t register how sincere he was being.

He finally pulled out, setting me back on the ground. Exhausted and sore, I could barely stand.

He looked down at me, his eyes primal with need. His anger was slowly dissipating, but I knew this wasn’t enough for him. After all the trouble I’d caused, I could tell this was only the beginning.

“We will return to our den now, and we will continue this… bonding.”

I watched as his body shifted back into its usual form. The monster I was used to. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to this a little. He bent down and picked me up as if I weighed nothing.

His smile returned, and his ears perked up, but I could tell I wasn’t forgiven. So, I decided to silently agree and hang on to him while he carried me to this “new home” of ours.

Next>>

[judesmoonbeauty]

The Robin’s Unaware of Ultimate Evil Behind The Scenes: Jude Jazza Epilogue

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for your support! ☾.

And thanks to @.kurishiri for tl feedback! CW: Fluffy hand holding & forehead flicking Please note: The epilogue is from Kate's POV.

(Jude seems to be in a somewhat good mood….)

Perhaps because I had been running after drinking, but the night breeze that hit my buzzed body felt good.

I asked Jude jokingly but—

(I thought he’d say not to get carried away, or play it off, but I never expected him to hold my hand.)

The warmth that comes from his much larger hand feels comforting to me,

Maybe it’s because he hasn’t let go, so I hide my gaze, and savor this unusual joy.

(A lots happened today….)

The instant I saw that man buy those drugs, I felt a sense of duty to stop it, so I asked the others for help.

To ensure his arrest, I had the others in hiding…..

(Still, I felt very anxious.)

Courage is required to fight a problem that’s usually handled by Crown —

(That’s why I was truly relieved that Jude helped me.)

I was startled when the glass broke, but when I looked up it was him.

(I’m really glad he was there.)

When I think about it, he always shows up and helps me when I'm in a pinch.

(He’s got a foul mouth, a foul attitude, and he enjoys tormenting people but…..)

He’s also a very kind and compassionate person.

I’ve come to understand that during our time we’ve spent together.

I suddenly look up at the brightly shining moon, and I recall the first time we met.

(I was so scared at the time that I couldn’t even properly look at Jude.)

Kate: Jude.

Jude: ….What is it.

There had been something that had bothered me for a long time, but I had  held back.

Kate: What did you think of me when we first met?

Jude: Hah?

He stops in his tracks while I take a step forward, our hands connecting us like a thread.

He looked at our hands with a troubled expression and opened his mouth —

Jude: Thatcha were an unlucky woman.

Kate: Huh?

Jude: ‘N a trespasser.

Jude: Is it normal for someone who’s deliverin’ letters to enter a home without permission.

Kate: Well….

(I can't say anything back because it's true that I entered….)

When I entered the mansion it was like I was being guided somewhere, perhaps my fate was decided from that moment on.

Jude: Whatcha askin’ for, ya feelin’ drowned in sentimentality.

Kate: No….maybe it’s just because I met up with someone I knew for the first time in a while,

Kate: But I suddenly remembered that moment, and I was so scared that I couldn’t bear it. I really thought I was going to die.

A corpse lay before me, and Crown was surrounding me.

All of them were terrifying.

Kate: But oddly enough, I don’t have any regrets about being here.

Kate: Otherwise, I’d still be in the dark about things.

Nowadays, it’s become commonplace to see corpses lying in front of me or to be surrounded by Crown.

Kate: Besides, I’m glad I met you Jude.

His eyes widened as he gripped my hand unsually tightly, and I couldn’t help but smile.

Kate: I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

(Every time I experience his kindness, I feel like I’m glad I know him.)

It’s a bit embarrassing to say something I normally wouldn’t.

Maybe it’s because I’m slightly buzzed it’s easier to say.

I heard a large sigh as I smiled.

Kate: Why do you look so exasperated.

Jude: ‘Cause yer optimism’s annoyin’.

Jude: It’s nice bein’ a princess, ya don’t hafta think ‘bout anythin’, ‘n everyday’s peaceful.

Jude: You’ve seen so many shitty things ‘n yet ya can say that.

Kate: That’s harsh, I do so think about lots of things.

Jude: Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Jude: Ya smell like alcohol, ya drunk.

Just as I was a bit huffed from letting my feelings get the better of me, he suddenly stepped forward, side by side while holding hands.

(That…?)

Surprised that we were walking at the same pace, I looked at his profile.

However, he seemed to be acting the same as always, and when I noticed his small kindness, I became happy again and gripped his hand.

Kate: Hehe…

Jude: Why ya makin’ so many faces.

He flicked me in the forehead with his free hand’s finger.

Kate: OUCH! That’s mean!

Jude: It’s ‘cause I’m angry.

Kate: I’ll do it to you too!

Jude: Do it if ya can.

I tried to fight back with one hand, but it was quickly caught,

Jude: Look, it’s all over.

Kate: ! I’m absolutely going to do it one day.

When I uttered my sharp line, he let go of my hand —

(Ah…..)

Perhaps it looked like I felt lonely because he took my hand again interlacing our fingers, and smiled crookedly.

Jude: Idiot.

(As I thought, I’m glad we met.)

My heart pounded as I saw him illuminated by the moonlight.

Jude: What's with all the faces Me: Bro, you've got no room to talk. Have you seen your sprite expressions? Seems like Jude's Kate is not only a bad ass, but a mood just like him.

[Master List] Dividers: @.natimiles

Tag list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @nateko @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka

Please comment or DM me if you'd like to be added to my translations tag list.

[study-diaries]

How to avoid drama in your life. (School/Work/Family)

Hate to say this but i don't really think some people can just live their life without poking into other's business and causing unnecessary turmoil so, here's a guide to avoid all types of unnecessary drama in your life.

A full communication circle.

Communication is the main cause for most fights so, here's the thing. When there is something that needs to be done, inform all necessary people about it in advance. Here's a mistake most do, they just tell one person and ask them to put forward the message to the others but tell them directly. Literally, it is the safest option for you, like no one can blame you that you didn't tell them. No one can hold it against you. So tell them directly. And from time to time get repeated reminders so they remember.

Don't involve yourself in unnecessary talks

This is serious. If you are sitting and your friends are complaining about someone, you just listen to them. Don't add on to the things and hype up them. If you know that person isn't like that, defend them subtly. Involving in gossip is the worst. When someone says something about another person or even you then just reply with "I don't really care, they are/ I am free to do whatever they/I want." Or "I don't have the energy for this." Or "It's really none of my business/concern".

If you demand respect, you need to give respect.

Be nice to everyone, I am serious about this. Even if you're not friendly with the person or you don't like them, just be nice. It won't hurt you or them. Even if they do something to hurt you, just let it go with a "Meh it's fine but i would appreciate it if you won't do it again". This may even work people up a bit, handle yourself with care. Make it seem that their presence doesn't actually threaten you.

Calm composure.

Keep yourself calm and composed whenever you're faced with a difficult situation, do not react immediately, take a breath. I usually just frown but more than that, I won't react to anything. It takes some practice but eventually, this is useful. The reason for you to maintain a calm composure is because if the person who hurt you is looking for a dramatic reaction, don't give them the satisfaction.

Better articulation

Especially if it's important instructions! When someone accuses you of something, don't immediately raise your voice, think for a moment, let them wait and then reply with what had actually happened in your point of view.

Apologize. Even if it isn't your fault.

Sometimes, people are just shitty and they won't understand even if you explain it a hundred or a million times. In those case, just say the magic two letter word -> "I'm sorry" or "I apologise". Your worth doesn't come down just because you apologised, on the other hand, you just became a better person than the other one.

It's simply not your damn business.

When someone directly tells you about their life etc etc. You lend a compassionate ear to them. If it's a story going around the whole place, it's simply not your business. And you can say this directly to the person passing the gossip, if they argue then that means you now actualy are aware of another gossip machine.

Don't EVER share your opinions on important matters with a person higher than you! Especially not in front of other people!

I'm damn serious, you don't know who will have it against you so, be careful around who you're saying things to. Other important matters include opinions about the specific person, politics, nationality, culture etc etc. Be sensitive.

Break the chain

When you hear something bad is going around and it reaches you, keep it to your damn self. Don't go adding the fuel to the fire like the rest!

Do not assume!

Don't assume about a situation or a person. Clarify. Always clarify. You may not know what the other person was going through, you don't know everything. Just don't think something, clarify it. No body is going to get mad at you for clarifying.

Make excuses.

When you hear someone talking bad about someone else. Defend them. Make excuses. I don't mean lie to them, I mean saying things like, "It's alright. You don't know what they were going through." Or "Maybe something happened that you don't know about." Personally, I always use the second one because I feel like, sometimes, people aren't bad guys. Situations make them act like that. Povs differ. So be mindful.

Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.

If there is an argument. Do the classic Harvey Specter thing. You improve arguments with a neutral tone. Don't sound mocking or cocky, sound like you're just explaining to them. This won't escalate the scenario. (The quote was actually given by Desmond Tutu)

Hope this helps! :)

[gilverrwrites]

reader having to adjust to michael and adam in the same body together (maybe a twinge of angst), but reader slowly grows to love michael just as much as they love adam <3

Growing to love Michael as much as you love Adam

Author note: This is very Michael heavy, I think at some point I wanna do something that either more Adam centric, or fully about them both. Also I have some ideas brewing for an actual fic, maybe?

Rating: General

Genre: Fluff, mild angst.

Words: 982

Please remember: Not to worry about thing's you cannot control.

Seeing Adam after so long was surreal.

He’d changed so much; he wasn’t just older, taller, stronger.

He was always laid back and practical, but now he’s more self-assured and perceptive. 

And surprisingly well-adjusted for a man who had just spent more than a millennia in hell.

In some ways, it was easy to fall back into strides with him. He’d grown and changed, but he was still the man you loved.

The hardest part was Michael.

Sometimes it felt like you were the 3rd wheel. You knew Adam first, you loved him first, but Michael had known him longer. Try explaining that to literally anyone.

Although honestly, explaining any part of Adam, Michael, and your whole dynamic to anyone would be complicated.

Now that they’re free of the cage, Michael could so easily return to Heaven. He could repress Adam's mind, take his body, and do as he pleases, but he doesn’t. He’s sacrificing everything for him. How are you supposed to compare?

Sometimes Adam will clock out of a conversation, absorbed in something else with Michael.

They have stories, and inside jokes you can never really be a part of.

It’s lonely, waking up in an unexpectedly empty bed.

Being stood up because Michael had other plans.

Raising the issues with them garners sympathy and promises of change from Adam, but Michael is less responsive, which doesn’t give you much hope.

Change is a three-way street in this case. 

However, you suspect they discussed the issue between themselves at some point, because change does come.

You’d finish dinner with Adam, but Michael would help you clean up.

He has offered to use his mojo, "so much faster and easier", but Adam doesn’t want to rely too much on it. You tend to agree, unless you’re feeling lazy.

And Michael is always quick to agree when you ask. Who knew Michael could be the naughty one.

You’d plan a game/puzzle night, which Michael would get invested in, and take control of. Especially if it is strategy-based.

You’d come home at the end of a hard day, and often, Michael was the one who would listen.

At first it was:

“Your whining is displeasing; I implore you to stop.”

But over time, he becomes more sympathetic, more interested in your feelings and day-to-day life.

Until he greets you with questions about your friends, or on-going dramas. Asking if you have had a better day today.

He asks you a lot of questions. Mainly about Earth, humanity, and culture at first. Adam is a sufficient guide to the human world, but he is a little behind the times.

And you can’t deny how cute he is when he repeats slang words back at you, or attempts to use them.

“What is ‘clickbait’?” “You’re home, how was work? Please ‘spill the tea’.” “Your clothing? Oh yes, it is ‘slaying’. Is that the correct term?”

Adam, who is also learning many of these words for the first time as well, is cringing so hard in their head.

Over time his questions get more personal. Your friends, family, hobbies, etc.

He knows a lot of it already. From Adam talking about you in the cage, from his memories, and from listening to conversations you have had since reuniting. They’re both always there really, even if you’re not interacting with one directly.

But there is a difference between first-hand and second-hand experiences.

And you enjoy having someone else to talk to about these things, another perspective.

You’d grown to like his company, for an Angel he's surprisingly compassionate, at least when he wants to be anyway.

Eventually, he trusts you enough to divulge information about his own family and his very long existence.

Sometimes you would wake up in Michael’s embrace. Which wasn’t necessarily unpleasant.

Even in the dark and the silence of night, you can tell the difference.

Adam's touch is soft, warm, and comforting. He makes you feel at ease.

Michael is solid, and protective. He makes you feel safe.

Until eventually, while you don’t quite feel like you’re on par with Michael, you do feel welcome.

You like him in fact.

Maybe you like him a little too much, considering he is not your boyfriend.

Your feelings for Adam haven’t lessened at all, but how can you spend 50% of your time with Michael, who is insightful, wise, inquisitive, and so damned cute. Who makes you feel safe, and valued...

And not develop some feelings.

Which complicates things further. It puts you on edge. Makes you worried about accidentally crossing a line.

How is one supposed to act around their boyfriend when their boyfriend isn’t their boyfriend, and also you have feelings for both the boyfriend and the not boyfriend, you know? Totally relatable, right?

All those mixed feelings of inadequacy when compared to Michael and the uncertainty when spending time with him are not happy or healthy ways to feel in a relationship.

You have to broach the subject, with them both, and Michael has something to say immediately.

“We are not in competition. I can assure you Adam loves us both in different ways, in equal measure.” But he’s not Adam half the time. He’s you! You’re not Adam, you don’t love me, I don’t know how to behave around you. “Are you certain you are human?” What? “Humans are not the most astute. However, sometimes you are as dense as osmium.” Are you calling me stupid?! “I urge you to stop and consider your words for a moment. I find it incredibly upsetting and frankly offensive that you believe me to be so incapable of loving you, as foolish and naïve as you may be.”

Adam knew, the whole time. The whole damn time.

He just needed the two of you to figure it out on your own first.

There’s a lot of conversation to be had between the three of you from there.

[dreamlifebunny]

bunny's ✨digital detox✨ + manifestation challenge!

hi friends! i've decided to do a little "dopamine detox" so that i can become more present in my day-to-day, connect with myself and my passions, and apply the law. instead of leaving you without any posts, i thought i would turn this short absence of mine into a challenge so that you can join me if you're interested! this is going to be a very simple challenge that mostly focuses on regaining joy in your life, but i hope it can bring you inspiration and peace.

purpose of challenge: to help your brain enjoy simple things again and fill your life with more joy, to get off of social media and apply the law, and to manifest anything you desire. as you can see, this is mostly a challenge to reconnect with ourselves and what brings us joy, but manifestation is the added bonus of this challenge!

step one:

delete or hide apps on your phone or laptop that involve mindless stimulation. for me, this includes tumblr, social media, checking things that give me notifications like my email, etc. normally, tumblr wouldn't be included in this because i use it for learning about the law, but part of this challenge is about getting offline and actually applying the law, so for now i will be deleting it.

step two:

make a list of activities that bring you joy that don't involve mindless stimulation. here are some ideas of things that i like to do if you're having trouble coming up with your own list:

scripting my dream life and coming up with cute scenarios in my head

writing a letter to a friend and decorating it with my own art or stickers

reading a fiction book and getting lost in the story

reading a non-fiction book to learn things about my passions and interests

singing and playing instruments

journaling or filling out writing prompts

going for bike rides or long walks with music

playing fun video games, but not for hours on end like i normally would heh

step three:

decide what you are going to manifest and choose your favourite methods to fulfill yourself! remember, this challenge is about connecting with yourself and what you love, so pick the methods that make you smile. i really enjoy daydreaming about my desires and feeling every emotion in my body that comes up and knowing that my desire is real.

REMEMBER: this challenge is primarily about doing a digital detox to give our brains more happiness. the main goal isn't to manifest, but it is SO much easier to manifest when our brains aren't constantly stimulated and consuming information. our desires manifesting is an added bonus for this challenge!

step four:

as you engage with your life and connect with awareness (who you are at your core) and as you enjoy activities that bring you joy, remind yourself in whatever way feels best to you that you have all of your desires, and that this extra space you're giving your brain is allowing more space for your lovely desires to show up in your life

step five:

report back during the end of any three-day period from when you start this challenge with your results! results could include how you feel, what you learned about yourself, what you manifested or realized about your manifestation, how your days looked without constantly stimulation, or anything you wish to share!

important note:

detoxing from constant stimulation is a HARD THING TO DO! they design apps to make us addicted, and your need for constant stimulation is not your fault. if at any point this challenge brings up feelings of shame or struggle due to the addiction of constant stimulation, make sure you are compassionate and loving to yourself; you're doing a wonderful thing as a gift to yourself and are a good person who is doing something very tricky, and you should be proud that you are even giving it a try. you are strong and badass and deserve the world and all of your desires! if at any point you need to dip out of this challenge, make sure to pat yourself on the back and thank yourself for trying it and know that you can always do it again in the future if you want to c:

love you friends! i am so excited to see the results of this challenge. i am proud of you, i am inspired by you, and i can't wait to see you all soon! 🥰

lots of love, bunny 💕

[iamfuckingsorry]

i'm sorry but like. i played the game for the first time like a month ago (and it absolutely wrecked me, it was beautiful), and i just can't stop thinking about this and i need to get it out. but like, kim, what the fuck is the deal with kim?

like, he's just such a weird little man with such a weird little collection of character traits, but also he's just so fucking perfect.

like, kim. he spent 15 years being a cop in a department he fucking hated but he just stuck it out. he is so done with teens he basically refuses to speak to them unless he absolutely has to, but he still spent 15 fucking years in that section, refusing to give up. he's proud to be a revacholian and to protect the city now, but did he feel this way when he joined the RCM? or did he join to prove to everyone that even a monkey fucker like him could be revacholian? or did he join because he got kicked out of the orphanage he grew up at and didn't have anywhere else to go? or was there a different reason altogether?

and look at him now. he's presumably one of the best cops in his precint (i'm sure he mentions something about this early on in the game but i honestly can't remember), and one that seems to mostly play fair and genuinely care, which doesn't seem to be that common at all. and he's proud of this and strives to always be professional and calm and collected even if he doesn't always fully manage. he keeps himself in check first and foremost, and seems to try to keep everyone at an arm's length and not engage in personal discussions, even though he will often indulge harry if directly asked.

and so far it all makes sense, right? he's been treated like shit all throughout his life, dealt a fairly shitty hand, an orphan, an immigrant, a homo, possibly visually impaired (has he always needed glasses? was he able to get them as a broke-ass kid with no one to speak on his behalf? or did he grow up never able to see properly, struggling in school because he could never read the board or react in time when people threw shit at him, made fun of by both teachers and classmates?), mocked and ridiculed, and he's had to fight hard to get to where he is now. and he desperately needs to keep it this way, so he works hard and sticks to the rules and keeps his distance from people, and he puts a stop to everyone and everything that people could make fun of (no, harry, you will /not/ call me kimball, you will call me Lt kitsuragi, no, harry, you will /not/ tell anyone about the ice bear fridge, i will /not/ be known as the ice bear cop). but he's also mostly a genuinely nice and compassionate person and he really cares, as long as people are at least trying to do good.

but also…

he basically wears period cosplay to work. like. for real, he clearly wears his fucking pilot jacket so often that having the RCM insignia sewn onto it was the most logical choice. he is so obviously into planes and cars (but he's too blind to be a pilot :), do you think he used to hate himself as a kid not only because he was poor and abandoned by everyone and "an immigrant" but also because not even his own fucking body would let him be what he wanted to be), he has an extremely expensive vehicle that's his, his only, and not even really needed for the stuff he does at work the majority of the time. he clearly had to have a chat with his boss at some point in time and justify this purchase and why the car should be permanently assigned to him and him only, and even if i'm sure he had a bunch of actual reasons you can't convince me that his boss and all of his colleagues weren't all aware that really, he just wanted a fast fucking car and had an excuse to get it. and clearly the higher ups like him enough to indulge him, because surely no one would be actually fooled? why would a crime investigator get it and not, like, the fucking traffic guys chasing drunk drivers and illegal racers every night?

and like, in some ways he fucking owns it, doesn't seem to give a fuck, he's who he is and if people don't like it that's not his problem. but he's also embarassed about listening to that fucking radio station. but he also drives a sports car and wears driving gloves and a pilot jacket, of course he's listen to that fucking radio station. but then he also does newspaper crosswords. like, he seems to put a into maintaining this facade of professionality, but he also really doesn't fucking care when it comes to a lot of the stuff, it's great. except for the extremely random stuff that he does care about and can get extremely flustered about momentarily.

and it feels really out of character in a way. he works so hard on keeping himself in check at all times, representing the RCM in a good light and making sure both him and others get treated with the respect they deserve. he smokes one cigarette a day to keep proving to himself he can keep his vices in check, for fuck's sake. but then it's like he just picked one (1) part of his personality where he just went like, fuck it. Fuck it, I work hard for this shit and I deserve to do what I want sometimes too, and this one fucking thing is innocent enough and safe enough, and I don't give a fuck, I deserve /one fucking thing/ and I'm gonna get it. I'm getting the goddamn jacket and the Kineema and if people have a problem with that, they can go fuck themselves. I /need/ this one thing and I. Am. Getting. It.

(it's clearly a big part of his personality, but do you think there were other massive interests in the past, or maybe there still are others he isn't as open about with? Things he thinks would undermine his career and reputation? Past hobbies he abandoned because if anyone found out, that would be the end of his career at the RCM, even though for anyone else who wasn't a stupid fucking immigrant who can't even see right it would be a funny little detail?)

anyway.

i'm just like. stay the way you are, my weird little man. you're great.

[theorphicangel]

“𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.”

[ 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ]

tags: strangers to lovers, roommate au!, best friends brother, fluff, mutual pining, smut, 18+

synopsis: In a desperate search of a new roommate, you have little to no choice but to accept your best friend's / best barista in the world's offer of letting his older brother rent out the room, who just so happens to be conventionally attractive.

You swear nothing will happen between the two of you but one thing eventually leads to another and you find yourself in his bed, leading to an unofficial roommates with benefits situation.

You know deep down it's wrong and you're worried when you start catching feelings...but it's okay because it's only temporary, right?

séries | previous chapter | next chapter

chapter two: two turtle doves (that awkwardly get along)

You were right about not expecting to receive a reply from Gabriel.

You had actually tried to call him a few times, yet it ended up going to voicemail. Your best bet would be that he actually turns up for work today.

On returning back to your apartment last night, you had tried the best you could to remind yourself that you were living in an empty space again. Remembering to not make a meal for two, remembering to switch off the lights, remembering not to turn your head searching for someone to listen to the random thought that had just popped up in your head. It was hard. You couldn’t lie about that.

But with it especially being the holiday season, you can’t help but feel the prickles of loneliness brush up at your skin as you skim through the shows and movies to watch, with all the recommended Christmas romance movies popping up on the home page. Being petty, you turned off the tv and decided to give yourself an early night.

In an attempt to distract yourself, you’ve decided to decorate your apartment this upcoming weekend for Christmas. Due to MJ’s moving you would’ve had it done all up last week, but instead you were focused on helping her pack during her last few days at the apartment.

Checking the time, it’s currently 8:15am and you’re on your way to O’Hara’s. As you stroll down the busy streets of New York city, you can’t help but cross your fingers and pray to the gods above that Gabriel is in for his shift today. You don’t think you could really stand another cup of terrible coffee, no matter how compassionate you’re feeling.

Stepping into O’hara’s, the familiar ding of the bell above the door announces your arrival. Once again, it’s a small queue and you can’t help but notice the familiar cheery tone of the barista which most certainly contrasts the rough, bored voice which you had heard yesterday.

A wave of relief fills your body as you move to the front of the queue, a smile spreading across your lips.

“Buenos días.” Gabriel greets with a smile, “Did ya’ miss me yesterday?”

“Pftttttt of course not.” you murmur. “It’s not like I’d much rather the new barista yesterday who had made the world’s worst cup of coffee word to man– I don’t even know if I can call that a coffee.” you grunt, pulling a disgusted face.

Gabriel lets out a loud laugh as he taps in your regular into the till without even asking you. “You must be talking about my brother, Miguel, m’sorry about that, he was called in as an emergency. We’re low on staff.”

Your face drops at Gabriel’s words. “Your brother?! Oh shit m’sorry—”

Gabriel waves his hand at you, stopping you mid sentence. “Don’t be, we all know he’s shit. Mama couldn’t find a replacement at the last minute so she was desperate.”

“And it was an emergency?” you repeat, crossing your arms as you look him up and down.

“It’s not my fault that I got forcefully dragged to a bar against my own free will!” He exclaims. “It was bottomless Wednesday!”

You hum in response not really believing him. “So that was really your brother then?” Grabiel nods.

At the sounds of footsteps behind him, Gabriel turns his head and then quickly turns back.

“Oh, speaking of the diablo.” He mutters before calling out to his brother. “Oi Miggy, no vas a creer lo que esta chica dijo de ti." [you won’t believe what this girl said about you]

“¿Qué?”

“That you’re shit at making coffee.”

“If you’re gonna continue complaining about me then I’m not coming in to help you next time, Gabi.”

“I’ll tell mama.”

“Uh–huh.” Miguel hums in an unbelieving tone.

Now that you had Miguel standing next to his brother, you could really see their similarities and you almost wanted to kick yourself for not spotting it beforehand. They were almost the spitting image of each other, though Gabi was a little shorter and Miguel seemed to be like a total gym rat in comparison.

Miguel now looks at you, deadpanned as he was the previous day. “I’m sorry about the coffee yesterday—”

“Oh no worries, it was fine.” you lied.

“I mean, it would’ve been better if someone had actually taught me how to use the machines.” Miguel says.

“It’s common sense in my opinion.” Gabi replies hastily.

“Good thing no one asked you for your opinion.”

“Ay, callate.”

“Whatever.” Miguel trails off to the backrooms, tired of the conversation, muttering the excuse that more oat milk is needed.

“Ignore him. He’s a dick but you’ll get used to it once you’re around him more.”

“Is he working here permanently?” you ask, curious about the mysterious older brother, “You never spoke much about him, Gabi.”

“Yeah, well he wasn’t around a lot. He was at university doing his post-graduate degree at Stanford Uni–”

“Stanford?” you practically shout out the word, a few heads turn in the cafe to look at you.

“Hey, keep your voice down.” Gabi warns. “But yeah, yeah, studying genetics or whatever he’s obsessed with at the moment. He’s moved back in with us…in fact that’s what I wanted to tell you—”

“Hold on, hold on, you can’t just move away from the fact that your brother just graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in the country.”

“He got a funding grant–”

“A funding gran–”

“Shhhh!”

You mouth the words, “fucking hell.” to yourself.

“Yep, he’s truly raising the standard for the family.” Gabriel awkwardly chuckles. “It’s weird having him around after being gone for so long but…” Gabriel looks back through the door to the backroom, there’s a sound of things falling and spanish curses which echo from the storage room. “I’m glad he’s back and so is mama, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”

You hum along, your expression becoming soft. “Just make sure you teach him how to make good coffee now.” Gabriel chuckles loudly at your comment.

You turn your head and scan the cafe. Your eyes widen. Today, it seems will be a good day as your favorite spot in the corner is available today. Making your way over Gabriel doesn’t take long to come over with your drink.

“Anyways chica, I saw your missed calls and—”

“Oh, did you?” You say aloud sarcastically, playfully swatting him on the arm, “And you didn’t think to be bothered to reply to me? After three years of my loyal friendship this is how you repay me?”

“Okay, one: ow!” He pointed a finger at you. “And two: it wasn’t like that. It was bottomless Wednesday and don’t reprimand me because I’ve already had that from my mother and my brother.”

“Serves you right.” you snort.

“As I was saying, if you’d ever let me speak.” he says, still wincing. “I have good news and bad news regarding your roommate situation.”

“Oh…”

“So, what do you want first, the good news or the bad?” Gabriel offers.

You take a sip of your coffee first as you debate.

“The good news first please.”

“I found you a roommate.”

“Really?!” you exclaimed, your face lighting up with excitement. “Are you fucking serious?!”

“As serious as I can be.” Gabriel wincing again as you hit his arm. “You really have to stop doing that to me.”

“Maybe I can forgive you for ignoring me yesterday.“ you mutter to yourself, a smile now tugging at your lips. “So what’s the bad news?” You’d think that after hearing that good news you can barely think how you would even be affected by the bad news now.

Gabriel points back to the counter, where Miguel stands serving another customer. His face is currently in a state of pure confusion, as his fingers aggressively tap at the till.

“That’s your new roommate.”

Your face dropped as Gabriel’s words sunk in.

“Are you–”

“Serious? Yes, yes I am.” He exhales. “But look, he really needs someone to cheer him up.” You raise a brow at his sentence.

“Listen, but you didn’t hear this from me so this stays between us, okay?” Gabriel held out his pinky finger in front of you.

“Okay.” your promise, not hesitating to join your own pinky finger with his. Gabriel twists a little, as if to seal the promise for definite.

“He wasn’t really meant to come back at all, not even for the Christmas period. It was just random. His roommate back in California moved out and he had no choice but to move back with us because the rent is so skyhigh over there— but anyways, his girlfriend also broke up with him and he never really said why but I just think she can’t be bothered going long distance. Buttttt to be honest who would? Miggy is so boring over text, like I don’t even think he can understand the meaning of emojis–”

“Wait, so he needs a place to stay?” You interrupt, your brain trying to process all this information.

Gabriel nods, “And for someone to cheer him up!” he adds. “Pleaseeeeee, you’d be doing a really big favor for me, it’s so awkward between him and my mom, they’ve barely spoken since he’s moved back in. In fact since he left for uni I’m not even sure that they spoke at all. But please get this tension away from me.”

“What makes you think that I’ll be able to cheer him up?”

Just from looking at him you could already tell that he's a grinch. Totally miserable. A total opposite to what you had with MJ.

“Because you’re you andddd it’s only temporary. That’s another piece of good news actually. By New Year's he’ll probably find a place of his own.”

You wince as you repeat the word. “Temporary.” Another roommate who’s ready to leave before even signing the lease.

“I know that he’s not the ideal roommate but it’s just something for now whilst you look for someone a little bit more permanent.”

You hum at him in agreement. It does take the stress of your back for now….what’s the worst that could happen?

“Por favor, ¿para mí, mi dulce mujer?” Gabriel pulls the one trick move that you can’t resist.

[please, for me, my sweet woman]

The puppy dog eyes.

You let out a sigh as he stares at you, curling his bottom lip which makes you roll your eyes even more.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

/

“Do you want help with that?”

You wince at Miguel carrying four large boxes in one hand. You can’t see his face, his large veiny hands gripping the bottom stack of the boxes.

“No, gracias.” he mumbles, managing to lug them all to his room without a struggle. You knew he was a…big guy, but you still felt uncomfortable at his refusal for your help. Miguel left you no choice but to stand in the corner awkwardly as you watched him make multiple journeys to and fro the apartment.

It had all happened so quickly. Once you had agreed to let him move in, Miguel agreed to sign the contract the next day, albeit it was only for one month. At least that gives you more time to look for a future tenant for next year.

Once he was all moved in, you both awkwardly waited for one another to speak. Thankfully, he began first.

“I guess I’ll go…tidy up my stuff.”

You nod apprehensively. “Right. Uhhh, dinner's at six if you want it.” Miguel nods along too, not adding anything more to the conversation and disappearing into his room.

At six, he didn’t emerge. You knocked on his door as a reminder and a muffled voice replied indicating that he was busy.

You know you shouldn’t take it personally, but it was hard to ignore the feeling of loneliness that surrounded you despite having a new roommate. You let out a deep exhale as you ate at the kitchen table alone.

This was going to be one long Christmas.

taglist: lmk if you would like to be tagged!

@nakimushiohime @keidilla

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

IX. “goodbye, Gotham”

parts: previous / next

plot: when the flooding recedes, Mr. Wayne helps you leave the city—but not before a sufficient olive branch.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, mention of chemo, playful banter/teasing

words: 2.9k

Bruce looked over with a heavy scoff, and you bristled. Before he could react you continued. "Alfred is kind, and thoughtful, and obviously helps you because you were calling out to him again and again." This elicited an immediate response.

"Don't tell me about Alfred." He spoke through gritted teeth, the color coming back to his face with red heat. You wanted to step away but swallowed the lump in your throat. Alfred says he's so compassionate, huh? Doesn't seem like it. "You don't have to keep up this tough guy facade, you know."

His sarcastic laugh boomed in the hallways and you could've sworn you heard Alfred wake up. "Facade. Big words."

"Dick!" You turned on your heel and stomped up the stairs, then heard a low sigh. "I'm sorry." He spoke. You didn't turn to look at him; it was triggering hearing a man mock you so openly, especially in his own home. Being a vigilante billionaire didn't absolve him from being a human being. "That's not fair fighting, and I didn't mean to imply—"

"That I'm some mousey, stupid woman?" You whipped back around, all but hissing at him. He met your eyes carefully from the bottom of the stairwell. He gave a small nod, looking smaller now. "Nothing like that. I apologize." His swift recognition of wrongdoing did make it sting a bit less, and you had to remind yourself you were essentially camping out at his place. You leaned against the top railing, staring down at the masses of brown marble flooring. The moment felt just tender enough for honesty. "You can be scary, Bruce.... Wayne." You hovered on his last name, hoping it might act as an olive branch.

Bruce didn't want to be scary. Sure, to criminals he wanted to be, but hearing you say he brought it home hurt. It sank into his chest a bit like a branding iron. He didn't like hearing you say his last name; it already felt foreign in your voice. He looked over at the puddles of water he dragged in and shifted the convo. "The flooding seems to be letting up. You'll be able to get back to your apartment soon."

You took that more personally than was necessary. A thought glued to you. "Wait, will I be able to see Alfred again?" You felt ridiculous as soon as you said it, knowing you were about to graduate and move across the country permanently. You wanted out of this city more than anything in the entire world. Now you were concerned about missing a random old guy? You walked over to the top of the stairwell and sat crosslegged, putting your head in your hands. Bruce shifted uncomfortably, not knowing quite what to say to you, and wondering why the hell you'd decided to sit with him on the stairs. You assumed he wasn't going to respond to the Alfred comment, and you didn't really want him to. You thought about how Alfred had said Bruce was worried during your reaction and decided to pay it forward. It took a lot more effort to verbalize than you thought. "Do you want any pain meds or anything?"

It felt like a breeze shot through Bruce's stomach. A weird rippling sensation. His leg was burning in pain and he wanted to say no, he needed to say no, he wouldn't accept help from you... except seeing you with your guard down was... pleasant? If he forgot you were about to expose him, which he immediately remembered. His momentary lapse in annoyance ended with his next comment. "Are you still going to expose me?" You didn't say anything, and after about thirty seconds of silence he looked up at you. You slowly and discreetly shook your head. "No."

Bruce cleared his throat, trying to hide his relief. "I'm good on meds, yeah." He slowly rose from the stair and limped his way up. It was more bearable now that his body was lit up and electric—you weren't going to tell anyone? He wanted to trust you, it sounded genuine, this felt genuine, and usually he could trust his read of a situation... but it was you. You were different than everyone else. You'd noticed him immediately. It didn't even take a full second for years of practiced concealment and tracking two separate identities to fall apart. You scared him, too.

You stepped aside as he rose to the top of the stairwell. He looked at you from his periphery and gave a small nod. "Night." His voice was raspy and quiet, and then the only other sounds were of boots against ground and your own heels as you padded back to Alfred's office. The next half hour you whizzed through the formatting, scheduling an email for a few hours later to Dr. Vry. You got ahead of her disappointment by writing:

Good morning Dr. Vry, I hope this email finds you well. Unfortunately Mr. Wayne rescinded his offer mid-interview, so I interviewed someone else. The paper is attached below. My sincerest apologies, and thank you again for getting me the journalism materials. They will be returned swiftly in the AM. If you would like confirmation that I did meet with Mr. Wayne I can put you in contact with his manager. Best, Y/N Y/L/N.

Sleep was hardly restful. You tossed and turned the next few hours, wired from finally turning in the last paper for your degree. You'd received an email back at 8:49am, where Dr. Vry expressed deep regret at your lack of follow-through on what would have been Bruce Wayne's first ever interview:

Ms. Y/L/N, thank you for turning in your paper. However, it would be remiss to not acknowledge my disappointment at what would have been such a spectacular frontier in journalism. I look forward to hearing from Wayne management to confirm your meeting. Regards, Dr. Janay Vry.

Fuck. Now you had to elicit Alfred to send a 'sorry' email. You sat up in bed, promptly hearing a strong knock. "Can I come in?" It was Bruce. You hurried your greasy hair back into a ponytail with a rubber band you'd found and sat expectantly on the edge of the bed. "Yes?" In walked Bruce, presumably fresh from a shower. He had your phone in-hand. Your brow furrowed. He nodded in anticipation. "You left it in Alfred's study. He's making breakfast now. No peaches." Bruce paused, avoiding eye contact. "Uh, and he wanted to tell you the flooding has died down enough to drive you back to your apartment." He tossed your phone to you and nodded before shutting the door. You sat, feeling the rage of hunger in your stomach. The first thing you did was look for flights back home: there was one from Gotham to Seattle at 11:45am, a five hour direct. With the time difference you might be able to make your mother's chemo appointment. Tentatively, you booked one of the last seats and bolted out to breakfast. It was 9:03. You needed to get home and shove all your belongings back into your luggage.

"Someone had a restful night!" Alfred was cheery, and placed an omelet in front of where you sat yesterday at the table. Bruce was already dished up and sidling into his chair across from you. "The ingredients are only egg, green and red bell pepper, spinach, olive oil, salt, and pepper. All good?" You gave him two thumbs up and thanked him, walking over to your side. You felt bad hurrying them. You waited for Alfred to dish himself up and sit down, tucking into a few bites before you broached the question. "I actually booked a flight today, back home. My mom has a uh, thing happening and I needed to be back. Bruce—Mr. Wayne said the flooding had gone down, and I was wondering if I could get a ride back to my apartment."

Bruce side-eyed you when you corrected his name. It still felt weird hearing you say his last name. It was weird hearing you say his first. It was weird that you knew he was Batman. It was just... weird. He finished chewing and gestured to you. "What time's your flight?"

It was unnerving to have such normal conversations with Bruce Wayne. After both your walls had begun to settle the night before, you felt the weight of his reputation. You blushed, and could tell he noticed. "Um, around eleven. Like two hours." Bruce's eyes nearly bulged out of his head "Couldn't have told us sooner?"

Alfred spoke, his face fallen, ignoring the man's antics. "I actually can't this morning, some men from accounting at Wayne Enterprises scheduled an emergency meeting. I'm so sorry. I'm sure Master Wayne can manage, however." He shot a glare at Bruce and Bruce rolled his eyes, starting to tear into his omelet with urgency. "Yeah fine, whatever."

You squeezed your eyes shut tight at feeling like such a burden. The next fifteen minutes you scarfed down as much food as you could, then went back upstairs to gather your shoes and phone. You noticed Bruce standing expectantly at the front door, wearing sunglasses as he peered at what you assumed to be a newly-delivered paper. He looked up when he heard your footsteps, making you hustle down the stairs.

Without a word he slid through the open door, but you reached your head around to see Alfred cleaning up the kitchen. You ran over to him and gave him a hug, quickly telling him about the email thing. He agreed to send the email shortly, and even offered to return your journalism supplies. Looking at the time—9:45—you had no choice but to take him up on it. He told you not to be a stranger and sent you off on your way. Your heels ached the arches of your feet, but you weren't taking a chance with the sewage water still taking up an inch of real estate on the concrete. Bruce was already pulling out of a matte black Lamborghini, the passenger door opening automatically as you walked to it. You slid into the leather seat and tucked your feet in as he sped off.

You watched out the window as trees and grass turned to buildings whizzing by. The car was quick and steady; the tinting on the windows seemed a bit excessive, but you understood the need. After a few minutes of silence he startled you with a question. "Why didn't you write the exposé?" He tried to make his voice strong, his tone nonconfrontational. You shrugged. You were still a bit bitter about the night before and his comments about your smarts, but if this was going to be your last time seeing him you figured there was no shame in being honest. "I didn't want to jeopardize the city. As much as I hate to admit it, you make it better." You let out a heavy sigh trying to rid of the tension. His hands stiffened on the wheel. It was the first kind thing you'd ever said to him; it was the first time someone other than Alfred had mentioned Batman to him... because you were the only one outside of him who knew. A small smile curled up his lips. Music to his insecure ears. Did he really make it better? Really? He wanted to. He really, really wanted to. Did you really mean it? Actually?

"STOP!" Your shout caused an immediate braking, and a worried mother clutched her kids as they rushed across the crosswalk. Bruce tensed, eyes wide. He'd never come close to hitting a pedestrian. His heart pounded as he glanced at you beside him. You stared with a tight-set jaw, your hands clenched together in your lap and eyes as wide as his own. He moved his attention back to the road and kept on, refusing to entertain any more potentially lethal thoughts.

It was 10am on the dot when you pulled up in front of your apartment complex. It had been such an awkward ride you hadn't questioned how he knew your address, but you didn't have time to pester him. Bruce got out just as you were jogging to the lobby doors, and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head as you hissed at him. "What are you doing?! Someone could see you!"

"Traffic is always bad around this time at the airport. We need all the time we can get, I'm helping." His tone was flat and he adjusted his sunglasses... as if they could distract from the Lambo in front of the complex screaming BRUCE WAYNE IS HERE! You pushed through the lobby and rushed to the elevator, Bruce calmly in tow. The doors opened and you both stepped inside. He sidled in next to you now, and you looked over at his outfit. Unlike the last elevator ride together, he was just wearing a black tee and trousers. He glanced at you from his periphery and you quickly moved your line of sight to the floor with a subtle blink. A subtle aroma of pink pepper and musk lingered in the air, mixed with a little bit of sweat. Your sweat. You hadn't showered in days, and did a little shift of your weight away from him. Embarrassment washed over you.

"What?" He turned his head, noticing your movement away. "Looking for more lint?"

No, I just smell bad. You thought. I probably smell like ass and I don't want that to be your last memory of me. It became apparent to you how terrible of an impression you would leave on the man—forcing your way into his home with blackmail, being forced to more than overstay your welcome, now he was helping you pack while you smelled like sweat and spit. It was embarrassing. Very embarrassing.

The DING of the elevator doors opening to your floor was like a call from heaven, and you rushed past him so he couldn't get a good sniff.  You fumbled with the lock and thanked god how poor you'd been as a student; your apartment was small and minimalist, making it easy to throw everything into one or two luggage bags and move yourself back home in a jiffy. Trying your best to forget that a billionaire was standing in the middle of your studio, you went to your small closet and pulled out the large checked-luggage bag your dad had bought you two years prior. You hadn't been able to fill it then, but were grateful now for the extra real estate.

"What do you want me to do?"

You looked around the room, running through a short list of everything you'd have to do in the next half hour. The bedding needed to be removed, bathroom ransacked, kitchen food trashed, and clothes packed. Oh. And you needed to go down to the lobby and break the lease.

"Uh, can you clean out the fridge? I need to get to the lobby." You bit your lip hard, anxious as you grabbed your keys and rushed downstairs, ignoring the elevator in order to try and metabolize some of the stress. You only had about ten dollars left in your checking, and you'd forgotten that breaking a lease would mean an extra fee. When you made it to the receptionist, it was a new person you'd never seen before. She looked sour, and rolled her eyes when you walked up. "Hey uh, I need to break the lease."

"Name and unit number?" She smacked on gum as she sat up and started typing. You obliged, and after agonizing silence she shook her head. "Your lease ends this month anyway and you already paid the rent. We'll be sending a check to your permanent address after you have returned the keys with your deposit if everything is good."

Oh thank GOD. You thanked her profusely, somehow still out of breath, and went back up the stairs. Jesus. Thank god. If you had to ask Bruce Wayne for MONEY? You would've rather jumped off the Gotham bridge to your untimely demise. You put the key in your lock and opened the door to him standing with the bedding removed, fridge open and cleaned out, and half your clothes packed into the bag. Half of you wanted to be angry at him touching things without your consent, while the other was begrudgingly impressed. Almost like he read your mind, he spoke. "I didn't look at individual items, I just picked up armfuls and shoved them in."

Looking at your apartment now, the only thing left was the few toiletries in the closet (which could be recycled) and whatever was in your bathroom. You checked your watch: 10:20. "Thanks uh, can you wait in the car? I think I want to shower real quick."

He chuckled, plopping the last of your clothes into the bag. "I'm sure your seatmate will appreciate it.”

You gasped under your breath. "Really?" It hurt. You didn't want it to, but it did. You wanted to shoot something back at him, like you were only trying to smell like him or some shit. But it stung. For some reason. He chuckled again, shaking his head with a sly grin turning up his cheeks. "Nah. But you believed it."

[writing-for-life]

Dream’s Therapist

Siblings

I am in the last throes of preparing with previous session notes (Intake, Insomnia, Nightmares, Emotions, Parents) when my receptionist informs me that the client has arrived. Slightly early again, but we are getting used to it at this point, to the degree that it would seem patently strange if he were on time or late. She informs me he has, as usual, brought a book to pass the time.

When the client walks into my office, I note said book is “Molloy” by Samuel Beckett, which he holds in his right hand. A moment later, it has disappeared, and I catch myself wondering where to. In any case, his body language tells me he is not in good spirits today: The coat stays on, he does not talk at all (usually, he at least greets politely, if slightly formally), and he just takes his seat without waiting for me to bid him to sit (which he usually does). As he sits down, he huffs (I can’t call it anything else).

I decide to bring up the client’s homework at the beginning of the session to get it over and done with. The question was whether it were truly paradoxical to allow himself to dream while thinking he is responsible for other people’s dreams.

DT: How did the homework go?

Dream (I notice he purses his lips): I do not wish to talk about it.

DT: You don’t have to if you don’t want to, you could…

Dream (He actually interrupts me): Then what is the point (I notice he does that overly plosive T again) of coming here?

DT (It’s one of those days again): Well, it is you who said you don’t wish to talk about your homework? (He glares at me, pouts but stays stumm.) Look, it isn’t really for me to tell you what the point of coming here is, to quote you. Even if I have thoughts about it. Can you remember why you want to come here?

Dream (The silence lasts four minutes): I have walked an eternity’s worth of dreams. Yet, I mostly remain the observer and never seem to touch anyone’s… soul.

DT (The homework hit a nerve. He definitely engaged with the question): So you long for connection?

Dream: When the last dreamer forgets my name, I will cease to exist (The delusion is in full force, but I am starting to understand why). There is no true connection for me.

DT: What makes you think that people who care will forget about you?

Dream (I notice a sound not unlike that of a strangled cat): Because no one remembers me as soon as they wake.

DT: Well, I’m wide awake, and…

Dream: (I notice he mumbles something that sounds like, “Unfortunately.”)

DT: Pardon?

Dream: No matter.

DT: As I was saying: I am wide awake, and I remember you; otherwise this would be very hard to do.

Dream (He frowns so hard that I can almost feel it physically, but he remains silent. Today will be like pulling teeth I guess.)

DT: If you long for connection, did you ever try to initiate it?

Dream (He snorts, only to then look out the window. The silence only lasts around a minute this time): Yes. (I am waiting because I initially think he might expand. He does not).

DT: What about your siblings? You told me previously that the relationship with some of them is fractured. What about the others? Anyone you’re close to? Or at least get along with?

Dream: My elder sister… perhaps.

DT: Okay, that’s a start. Can you tell me a bit about her and your relationship?

Dream: She is everywhere, at all times, to collect souls and guide them to the afterlife (I am briefly contemplating whether she is really in the funeral business or if this is one of his strange allegories again, but I let the thought slide). I envy her certain sense of… detachment.

DT: And why is that?

Dream: She quite possibly carries the heaviest burden of all of us. And still, she remains… optimistic, kind, compassionate. She perplexes me.

DT: Would you say she is the sibling you're closest to?

Dream: (I notice a certain sense of hesitation): Perhaps she understands the nature of our existence most. But even she cannot fully grasp my realm. Or understand me, for that matter.

DT: Did you ever try to explain?

Dream (He looks at me as if I am someone very young and very stupid. I am neither. Well, at least I am fairly certain about my age): What I am cannot be explained or understood. By no one.

DT: Try me.

Dream (He leans forward in his chair, cocks his head to one side and looks at me intently): Will you answer a question first?

DT: That would depend on the question—I can’t promise anything.

Dream: You mortals hardly ever do.

DT: Just ask and see what happens.

Dream (I notice he is staring at my paperweight again. Hasn’t happened for a while): What do you know of eternity?

DT (I have no idea where this is going, but I decide to play): It is not a concept that means a lot to me. Nothing is eternal.

Dream: That might be true. And yet, what if there were such a thing, or at least something that gets very close?

DT: Then I would probably still endeavour to focus on the here and now, because that’s all I can do.

Dream: Do you never yearn for things beyond your reach?

DT: That’s inconsequential to our conversation.

Dream: Is it, though?

DT (I sense he is trying to corner me somehow, so I decide to redirect while pretending I don’t): Let’s assume for a minute it isn’t then. So what if I did yearn for things beyond my reach?

Dream: I would consider it… (He hesitates, briefly looks down at his hands and then looks at me again) relatable.

DT (I am glad he relates, but I also think I need to redirect even more): Of course you would. Isn’t that what every type of connection is about? Even professional ones?

Dream (I notice he straightens in his chair and lifts his chin. The silence lasts a full nine minutes before I decide to end it).

DT: Can you tell me what else you find relatable?

Dream: No.

DT: Why not?

Dream: Because that is the entire problem. I cannot relate to anyone, and no one can relate to me. However, I envy you… Your fleeting life (The way he says it almost sounds like an insult) and your fragile heart and your ability to love, lose and taste mortality with every passing moment until you take your last breath.

DT (I usually don’t flinch, but I think I might have on this occasion and need a second to gather myself. I am fully aware he is aware that I am slightly rattled because the way he looks at me is both sad but also disturbingly… triumphant, as if he were not so secretly chuffed that he dealt me a blow): And what makes you think you cannot do, or have, any of these things?

Dream: Because Destiny's Book weighs upon me. He is my brother by the way, I am not certain if I told you.

DT: Didn’t you previously tell me you never forget a thing? (Drat! I shouldn’t have said that.)

Dream (I notice he blinks slowly and actually smiles. For the first time today): Touché.

DT (I notice my sense of relief, and I’m not sure I like it): I think I might have asked you something like this before, at least in a roundabout way, but what if you could tear a page from that book? Just like that. Or at least rewrite it?

Dream (I notice he looks out the window again): That has the potential to unravel existence itself (He seems to think. After 8 minutes of silence, he finally looks at me again). Destiny is the oldest, forever chained to his book. Imagine having a sibling who knows every possible outcome, every twist of fate (So we are back to his siblings. Strange change of topic). It is rather infuriating. He once predicted I would spill coffee on a dream record, and I did.

DT (I’m not sure if I am inwardly laughing or crying at this point): So we are back to hot beverages and cup revolutions?

He just stares at me. I notice I involuntarily, or maybe voluntarily, quirk my eyebrow, to which he responds with cocking his head and resting both index fingers on his lips. He is ACTUALLY trying to hide a smile): Well, I am glad you are amused. Should we use that energy to keep on talking about your siblings?

Dream (He sighs and rolls his eyes at me, but he is still half-smiling, so he doesn’t seem to be to opposed): My relationship to each of my siblings is complicated.

DT: And why is that?

Dream: Because each one of us embodies a concept. We are bound by duty but simultaneously divided by it.

DT: Can you elaborate on that?

Dream (I notice a slightly uncomfortable shifting in his seat): Well, there is Desire… Desire is… manipulative. Always scheming, always meddling in my affairs. Our relationship is strained, to say the least. Despair is at least somewhat predictable. And then there's Delirium. She used to be Delight, but… (He suddenly stops himself and shakes his head.). It is unseemly to discuss my siblings, they are none of your concern.

DT: Correct. But you are.

(I notice his eyes turn wet, and he swallows a bit too hard. I catch myself thinking that I feel sorry for him. And I really shouldn’t.) Professionally.

Dream (I notice he stares at my paperweight again): I did not imply otherwise. (He briefly looks at me before turning his attention to the paperweight again.)

There is another brother. He abandoned his function and somewhat chose to… create. Badly. When he used to destroy whole galaxies… (His voice trails off)

DT: I guess he just came to the conclusion he prefers creating nebulae shaped like a middle finger over destroying galaxies? (Why on all fucking earth did I say that?)

Dream (I notice the eye roll): Very mature… (I also notice he loses the battle against trying to suppress a smile again) Yet possibly true.

DT (I am relieved, but I also feel I should apologise)

Dream: No need.

DT (I am confused): No need for what?

Dream: For an apology.

DT (He’s trying to read my mind now, great.)

Dream: I am sorry, I shall abstain.

DT: From what?

Dream: From intruding.

DT: Intruding on what? (I notice I sound a bit prickly.)

Dream (He stares me blank in the face): Your thoughts.

DT (This is fine. Totally fine. He isn’t really reading my thoughts, what are the chances to get it right randomly? Probably fairly high.)

Dream: Even higher if you understand common patterns.

DT (Okay, we’re playing again): And naturally, you do.

Dream: Perhaps.

DT: Then tell me about patterns between you and your siblings.

Dream (He doesn’t get angry or tetchy as expected, and instead just stares at his hands): The patterns are… endlessly complicated. I am not sure you would understand the dynamics of our relationships.

DT: Have you, or your siblings, ever tried to change these dynamics?

Dream (He does look slightly annoyed now): We are… constants! Change is a foreign concept to beings such as us.

DT: Is it truly? You’re changing, aren’t you? You’re even smiling. Here and there. That’s definitely a change.

Dream (I notice a face like thunder): I think not.

DT: Not what I’m seeing.

Dream (He leans forward in his chair): I. Do. Not. Change.

DT: Okay, what about your sister then?

Dream: Which one?

DT: The one who changed? The one you said, “used to be” Delight?

Dream (I notice he opens his mouth briefly to then close it again. He thinks for a hot second): I suppose, within our limited capacity, there have been…efforts to change. But…

DT: So it is possible then?

Dream (I notice the wet-cat-head-shaking): You don’t seem to comprehend that there is no balance in change. Not in any of my siblings. And I wish for balance. For a semblance of… harmony.

DT: Why do you believe there is no harmony in change?

Dream (I notice an exasperated sounding puff of air exiting his nose): I trust our time is up?

DT: No.

Dream: Very well, I shall leave then. (He gets up.)

DT: You’re right, some things truly don’t change.

Dream: I told you so. (He starts to walk out.)

DT: Are you still committed?

Dream (He stops and turns to look at me): Did you not tell me, just a second ago, that some things do not change? And did I not previously encourage you to use ink for however long you deem necessary? I do not have the tendency to go back on my word.

DT: And I don’t have the tendency to assume people aren’t free to change their mind.

Dream (He just stands there and glares at me): You have an obsession with change.

DT: Comes with the territory. Still ink, or would you rather default to pencil?

Dream (I notice the slightly exasperated bridge-of-nose-pinch): Ink. It is marginally more unchangeable…

< Previous Session

[oddeyes588]

So, it's not like I've posted ANYTHING regarding this, but add Oshi no Ko to the list of things I'm obsessed with. Surprise surprise, and now I have to ramble about SOMETHING in it. ANYTHING.

So I'm gonna ramble about something that came up with friends in discord.

Anybody ever think about how much more immensely tragic Gorou's death is when you think about how it must have seemed from Ai's perspective?

OnK speeds through this part of the story pretty quickly, shooting from 20 weeks to 40 weeks into Ai's pregnancy while only showing us a glimpse of what happens during this period, such as seeing Ai being accompanied by Gorou when she goes on a walk, with an inner monologue from Gorou about how he's promised to make sure her kids are delivered safely.

As such, we don't really have much insight into what their relationship or dynamic was like, but it's clear that at the very least, they got along well. Ultimately, the story isn't about this part of her life, and whatever happens here she ultimately moves past along with her kids. HOWEVER! We can reasonably assume that they had a friendly relationship, because...

Ai very specifically wanted him to be there. Ai Hoshino, a 16-year-old girl pregnant with twins, who has been failed by the majority of the adults in her life... goes "pout pout, it has to be you!" when he mentions that other doctors will be available if he isn't.

She implicitly asks him, the doctor who's sworn to make sure she has a healthy delivery and has been with her every step of the way since she got here, to be there. Remember, Ai is 16 here. She's all smiles, but as we know, she was just as much of a human being as everyone else. She is 16 and pregnant with TWINS. It's going to be the equivalent of pushing a watermelon through a bagel, TWICE. There's no way that she wasn't nervous underneath her perfectly-practiced smile.

The show makes a gag about Gorou going silent when asked what he would do if Ai asked him to date her, but let's be clear here, Gorou was by all means a very responsible and compassionate adult. He was obsessed with idols, specifically Ai, but he treats her with respect and remains professional about the whole thing, and we can be sure that he would've kept her secret. No matter what gags are made because of his idol obsession and the time he spent with Sarina, I think we can comfortably say that when push comes to shove, Gorou Amemiya tries to do the right thing at the end of the day.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is... in this moment, Gorou was a trusted adult, someone who Ai felt comfortable around and therefore wanted to have there during this moment of immense stress.

...so imagine how it must have felt then, when she went into labor. OnK is pretty tasteful concerning what parts of that process is shown, giving us just a brief shot of her screaming her lungs out while surrounded by nurses... but think about it.

The person she implicitly wanted there at that moment to ensure she gives birth safely... left and never came back.

Just another person added to the pile of adults who abandoned her when she needed them, right? The fact that Ruby and Aqua were born safely must have been the only relief she had that night... but Gorou's body wasn't discovered at that time. By all means, he had just left the hospital and went missing without a word, and that's where the tragedy gets even worse.

Because the only reason Gorou wasn't there, was because he was dying. He chased after a person who was stalking Ai, someone who put her family in danger, and was killed. And what were his dying thoughts?

That he needs to get back. That he made a promise. That he has to make sure her kids are born safely.

Ultimately she moves past this. Her kids are born safely, and in the end it's not like adults failing her has been uncommon throughout her life. But god, it's hard not to think about how she must've felt in that moment, going through the agony and terror of literal childbirth, waiting and waiting for this one adult who promised to support her, for hours and hours... and he just never shows up.

Though I guess in one sense, he does show up... just not in a way anybody could've expected.