#and i have to tell all of you. if all youve ever seen live are kpop groups

[hanarchy]

ive been looking up his tour setlists and bruce springsteen will really just play santa claus is coming to town if someone asks for it on a sign in like. april.

[rinnstars]

third’s times the charm!

in which you try to confess three times before rin finally understands your feelings

itoshi rin x reader : mainly just fluff, a bit of angst of readers part, no proofreading + likes n reblogs r rlly appreciate ily <3

rin has always been an enigma, as if hes from another world - an alien like figure on your life yet a constant, like an orbit from another galaxy orbiting around you. slowly, youve grown fond of him and suddenly, its no longer just a friendahip - your heart is pumping weirdly, your palms are sweaty, your throat goes dry the second youre beside him (which is most of the time but hey!) maybe its part of growing up, you tell yourself, but deep down this is the “love” you’ve seen in storybooks, manga, movies. denial is always the first thing, avoiding rin during break times, opting to go with your other class friends. eventually, you fall back to the same routine, beside him for lunch in class, stealing the candies he brought (specially for you, he wants to confess but he doesnt.) and of course with love, the next step should be confession as all fourteen year olds rationalise, and thus began your attempt at rizzing confessing to itoshi rin who has become your star.

#1 —VALENTINE CHOCOLATE?!

as all mangas and love story dictates: a gift during valentine practically screams a love confession, if not already hinted by the hearts clumsily pasted onto the heart-shaped box containing your own hand-made chocolates. of course, it comes with a sort of insecurity - what if he doesnt like it? what if he doesnt see me that way? what if our friendship forever changes? what ifs? yet, you held on tightly to the chocolate, walking into class to rin. until you see your own desk beside his flooded with valentine chocolates addressed to rin himself where all of the sudden, you wished to run away far away, you wished to live just in solitude by the ocean, you wish to pretend to be sick and go back home and cry again and again. its stupid, you think, youre just another person in love, youre nothing special. yet, when rin looks at you with sparkling eyes at your chocolates unlike anyone else, you feel as though youre at the top of the war, youre like diamond amongst the rest, that maybe rin sees you differently.

“is that for me?” if he didnt looked so expectant, so hopeful, you might have just not given it to him, simply from the pile of chocolates (that you hope hell pass to you after valentines, and he does.) on the desks. you nodded, passing it to him with a awkward smile. he doesnt get the hint you think, as he opens it without hesitation to eat one - his usual grimace that melted into a small smile changed into a grin, chewing happily onto the overly sweet chocolate you made. you want to be mad, that youll always be in competition with everyone, but when he smiles like that, youve got no choice but to look at him like hes built the very world for you, like hes your star in the dark, like hes your own galaxy.

its now or never. whats the worst that can happen? - that your friendship is forever broken, that your heart is shattered by his own hands, that youll never ever see him the same way again And he’ll never see you again?! “i.. i like you..!” courage, right, thats what those mangas would call it, but deep down it was just an impulse, as if you were born to say it to him, born to love him, like you were soulmates. he doesnt even blink, replying back with about the worst thing someone can hear when they confess : “i hope so? we’re friends.” with the most deadpan voice that had you question everything. nothing like this happens in those romance mangas - he should have either said yes or no! not an in-between?! this doesnt match up to any calculations, not by your friends, not by romance mangas, not by any youtube videos could have prepared you for that response.

nonetheless, you went home with a plastic bag with all of itoshi’s confession chocolates. thats a win? sort of. but its clear that you need a more straightforward approach to get your romantic intention, NOT platonic intention across.

#2 — CONGRATULATIONAL FLOWERS?!

after long months of cringing at the first failure attempt at confessing, and long days of rereading cheesy love mangas to gather ideas, it was finally time for round 2. this time not because of simply encouragement, but from the bursting butterflies in your heart. ever since that, your lovesickness have only gotten worst - if hanahaki was real, no doubt flowers would be pouring out of your lungs from the amount of love that has grown roots into your heart. every moment felt like straight from a k-drama through rose tinted lenses, every action of his felt like a confession, every second with him felt like heaven. and enough was this barrier called embarrassment, fear, cowardice to stop you from pursuing. another year had passed and now each second is like diamond - counting down every second to when lunch starts, to a free period, to after school, to after club - anytime where you can maybe, just maybe spot rin even if he ocassionally runs off for football training that had only lasted longer until the sun sets after the argument with his brother.

deep down, even though youve never met sae, you wished you did just to punch him - for now rin has only grown more distant, whilst your feelings had grown more deeper. like oil and water, you no longer merge together as one, and perhaps this is the last chance to confess before he eventually disappears. growing up is hard, but maybe losing him would be the scariest and hardest part. yet, here you are, still attending all his football matches, waiting for him in the air-conditioned library until the clock ticks to when the school gates closes to find him, waiting for him to come back to you.

flowers. longing and yearning - cameilia and carnation replied back all those cliche love mangas. and so, you saved up for weeks just to buy an overly expensive bouquet - one that seemed out of place with your bags or rin’s everexpanding confession gifts. would it be a rejection, a success? a repeat of the previous year, another retry of last year’s failed confession, just that this time he might just get the idea? hiding the flowers in a separate bag, because certainly this could count as romantic, and youd rather do away with gossips or talks. yet of course, fate strikes again.

“thanks..? its alright to not get gifts for my football matches win though, its nothing major anyways.” and suddenly you take it back. you rather he just thanked you for it platonically. in what world do friends get romantic flowers with ribbons and all sort of decorations for a simple congratulations for a no-name match?! perhaps you two were never meant to be, and this had to be a sign from the gods or something, you concluded. you blinked and laughed it off, your mind spinning with all sort of thoughts - was this his way of rejecting you?! was he truly this clueless or is he trying to let me down?! suddenly all the fantasies and daydreams had fallen flat - this is real life. there is no true school romance, that rhese are feelings left better unsaid as your parents and adults in your life say. teenage love never last, they say - but in this case, they dont work, or at least for you. maybe, your teenage life would be the same mundane, boring ones - filled with just waiting for rin, doing homework, talking with friends, one that is filled with love and normalacy but never the exciting and romantic films you see on tv.

and maybe, just maybe, youve given up on pursuing itoshi rin romantically for the time being. but thats alright, as long as you were friends, youd stay together forever right?

#3 — CONFESSION FOR YOU UNSAID?!

youve lived the rest of your mundane life, completing routines after routines as if its a time loop. maybe, that failure had affected you, brushing off datdreams quickly. growing up meant to be logical, to not blush like a teenage kid, to not linger on hopeless love and dreams - you tell yourself. and rin is still here, like the sun to the earth, always orbiting around you. as long as the world continues to hold you two together as though connected by red strings, itd be alright.

yet, it stings when he tells you about blue lock. its evil, its bitter, its jealousy, its anger that pumps through your very veins. just as rin and you were falling back to back then, where you guys were connected by the hips, to when you had first been enchanted by his star-like eyes. you want to blame the world, the universe for being so cruel. you want to lock yourself, trap yourself in your room, throwing away the key. yet, theres only limited days with itoshi rin, and youd rather die than not be with him until the very end. even if its to the end of your friendship, your dream, your life with you and him together. whether that is to bring him to old arcades where tou two once played, bring him to the old now run-down convenience store where you and him went after school to get lunch, bring him to the mall to take your final photos and lucky charms with him. each moment now even more precipus than previous ones - and suddenly you understand the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’. its love. you know its love, you knew since you were 14 when you gave him the chocolates, you knew since you were 15 when yoi presented him a bouquet, and you know now that youre 16 about to send him off to another world you can never reach.

its selfish when you blurt it out as he was half-way out of your door after your last sleepover. its out of desperation, out of feelings youve kept hidden in an bottle that is now exploding. its impulsive, its unconscious - the way youve just confessed to him that you loved him. “i love you” theres no way to misinterpret that. maybe he’ll tell you theres bo need to be sentimental, that hell be back (you were convinced he wouldnt.), that its cringe. yet, its silence that fills the room and all you wished to do was to run back to your room, to cry into the pillows, to read all those hopeful love mangas.

“.. i hope you meant it.. i love you too.” its anticlimatic, theres no dramatic scene of profession of love the way mangas portray it, yet you think that theres nothing more than you need. its the most itoshi rin (though youve never thought hed ever say love in a context outside of horror movies and games) and yet, its the words that you longed and yearned for for years by now, its the dream youve been daydreaming in class and in bed, its the life yoive envisioned as you look at him from the stands. and perhaps the world has finally answered your prayers, your musings, your complaints.

third’s the charm they say - and you for once agree with those stupid sayings because on your third attempt of confession did you finally get to be with itoshi rin.

[dirtylittlefairytales]

Don't play with fire | - Part 1 - |

Authors Note: Hey. This is my first try ever writing in English, since it's not my first language. I read it over several times, hopefully to correct all mistakes. Also this is the first try of fanfiction since 2016. Sooo I appreciate feedback and let me know what you think.. Please be kind. 🙏🥹

Originally I wanted to write a short backstory, but I think it’s just going to be multiple parts if you want to read it. So see this as a kind of introduction. In further chapters I wanted to try myself to write my smut fantasies out. I'm also going to upload this later to Ao3 under the username Lorily96.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap (Legal)

Word count: 8k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby

Some people say life is a cruel joke. Unexpected twists and pain waiting around every corner. Some people say the glass is never empty and everything happens for a reason. You can learn from anything.  Everyone you meet is either there for a reason, for a season or... for ever. However the world is not black and white, sometimes there is no reason at all. You know how you sometimes laugh when something bad happens to a stranger or friend. Like their ice cream falling to the ground, seeing a cop writing a ticket for somebody else. I think ‘Life’ itself is bored just like us. That's why sometimes you feel like it’s only getting worse. Doesn’t matter what you do, there is no luck to be found. That's exactly how you felt that day. Just strings of bad luck and to this day you still question yourself. Why? Why didn’t you say something? Why did you do it? Why didn’t you walk away? How did all of this happen in the first place? The events of that day living rent-free in your head, keeping you up at night.

~ Sometimes Life has a dark and twisted humor. ~

All those overprotective dads, who only want the best for their daughter. Your dad was one of them. He always told you: "Be wary of strangers", "Never tell someone your name if you feel something is off", “Go with your gut feeling” and "don't go near the car of a stranger". Seriously, he had good points.

Unfortunately, he didn’t tell you what to do, when you suspect someone is a serial killer. Maybe running or keeping your nose out of the situation would have been a great option. Well, since daddy had been out of the picture since you were 12, maybe he would have some kind of advice for that. Your mom had found out he was cheating, and after the divorce, he cared more about his new girlfriend and son than you. Why care about the daughter you raised for 12 years, your beloved wife, when you can just throw it away and play happy family with the next woman you find.

At times, you wonder if that's the reason you had some kind of daddy issues. Perhaps you liked older men like him because of that. Even today, his face still haunts and excites you at the same time. Remembering how drawn you were to him. He was so charming and devilishly handsome. You felt sick and appalled at yourself for feeling this way. Everything he did, seemed to play into his hands. Who would suspect the nice and charming dad next door? How many times did you lay awake in bed at night, the events of that day replaying themselves over and over. Like a continuous loop with no escape… 

It felt like yesterday. The only reason you were at the concert in the first place was because one of the other guys quit a week before. You couldn’t even blame him, since your boss was a total dick. Ever since you started working in the company a year ago he was just looking for a reason to fire you. Always criticizing you, commenting when your bathroom break was too long. Wore a skirt? Too provocative. Wore a sweater? Be more professional. You could make a whole list of the things he pulled off. You fucking hated working in that place and even more to work outside or around many people. You chose to work in IT because you could work alone and in peace. 

Outside of work, you were a relatively social person. Many friends and people seemed to like you. Despite preferring to rather stay home alone, with your cat and books, you were surprisingly good at making conversations. It felt strange, kind of ironic. Life had a stupid sense of humor. Sometimes you even felt like you were good at reading people. Your mom called it your sixth sense.

Working at the arena for the concert was a real hassle. It was so stressful. Over a week before the actual concert there was already a meeting. Everybody working in the stadium that night was there. They didn’t reveal too much that day. Apparently the whole concert was also a trap for this serial killer? 

They called him - The Butcher 

You remember hearing and reading about him in the news. He had killed 12 people till now and the FBI was sure he was going to show up there. Everything was top secret, everyone had an extra card for controls during that day and a code word. On the day of the concert you arrived extra early to get the last directions for the day. They even told you what he potentially could look like.

Work was boring. The company you were working for was responsible for ensuring that all the screens, cameras were working, both on the outside and on the stage, that the wifi was stable and so on… not the hardest task. There also were others who ensured the overall technology and speakers worked, but that wasn’t your job. Most of the time you and your colleague were sitting backstage, talking shit about your boss and listening to the show, at least you were, because lovely colleague Eric would do most of the stuff alone. What a sweetheart, right?

It felt a bit bad taking advantage of him. You knew he had a big crush on you, he wasn’t exactly hiding it. Relaxing backstage appealed more to you. Therefore it was totally fine with your conscience. This job was a pain in the ass and you already started applying for new jobs. You just had to hang on for a few more weeks. Hoping you could quit soon and work in a non toxic environment.

The first half of the concert remained uneventful. Fortunately, because your room was in the backstage area, you even talked to Lady Raven for a bit on her break. She was so nice and friendly. On and off stage, her whole personality was the same. Which you found truly great, a person like that was hard to find nowadays. The thinker for example seemed like a total dick from what you saw. Lady Raven and you also had some similar interests, it was so easy to talk to her.After asking about it, she told you that they hadn’t found the Butcher yet. She even told you a few more details on how the police got the information of him being there. Before she left you wished her good luck with the rest of her show and went back to work for a bit. 

Later on during the second half of the show, you stepped near the stage. The atmosphere felt incredible. The lights, the performance on stage and the fans screaming and singing the songs of Lady Raven. How you wished to be standing in the crowd just vibing and dancing to the music instead of working. If it weren’t for all the extra police and security in the arena, it would be a normal concert. 

Slowly you started making your way backstage as you saw people approaching from the audience room. Honestly you weren’t keen on talking to many people. Lady Raven started talking and announcing her dreamer girl, Riley. That must be why the people came in from the audience. At the end of the stage you turned around again. On your former spot stood a man. He was tall, with a nice backside, no doubt the father of the dreamer girl, looking at the stage.  Though he seemed to take a quick look around every now and then. Looking at him, he didn’t look like he was having much fun being here. He looked rather stiff. As you started walking back in his direction to get a better look, Eric called you. Sighing, you turned around. As you were making your way backstage, you felt like someone was watching you. 

“Hey, somewhere outside, a monitor has a bluescreen. I'll quickly go fix it. The show is nearly over. After that, we can start with cleaning things up.” Eric told you, as you walked down the stairs towards him.

“Okay, do you need my help?” You asked him, pushing a blonde strand of hair behind your ear, batting your eyes at him, hoping he would say no. 

“No of course not! I can do it alone. The problem is not that hard.” he answered, trying to show off.

You smiled. “Okay great! Then, see you later.” 

You walked past him into the backstage area. It wasn't that you disliked him, he was nice for a work colleague. However, nothing more. For one you had not much in common besides work, and he was a pushover. You could not imagine being with a man who had no opinion and just waited for you say anything until he stated his opinion. 

‘Like have an opinion, Boy?’ Rolling your eyes at the mere thought of his personality, you grabbed yourself a drink and went back to your little break room.

There you waited for the concert to finish, which you knew shouldn’t take too long now. When you heard the last song finished you decided to grab your purse and go into the hallway. Considering it was too good of an opportunity to pass by. When would you ever see celebrities up so close again? Maybe you could ask Lady Raven for a selfie? Or an autograph? You weren’t the biggest fan, but there was a possibility you could sell that autograph later on.

Uncertain where to go, you stood in the hallway. Dancers ran past you. Nobody seemed to take much notice of you. Coming from the left, you saw the thinker walking towards you, and kind of flirting with someone behind him. ‘Spicy.’ A light chuckle escaped you. Curiosity filled your brain and you decided to head in the direction he came from.

In the middle of the hallway, where several corridors met, stood Riley, the dreamer girl and her dad. If you remembered her name correctly that is. You stopped walking and observed them quietly from a little further away. 

‘Did the Thinker flirt with him?’ Now that you got a better view of him, you found that theory pretty reasonable. It felt almost unfair how attractive he looked. 

‘Was he married? Presumably.’ Not that you would consider making a move, besides his daughter was standing right next to him. That would be so awkward. Also remembering, the last time you let someone in, things unraveled in ways that left you a bit guarded. Despite your people skills, your mom and you apparently both had a thing for cheaters. After a year of being single, you told yourself it was for the best. Except for your job, life was good– At least that's what you tried to tell yourself.

Nevertheless you would never have considered being attracted to older men. He was at least 10 years older than you, maybe more. You were 25, and he could easily be in his 30s or even early 40s. All of a sudden the profiler’s description came back into your head: tall, strong, dark hair... 

Even though you've never been overly spiritual, you did believe in a sixth sense. The longer you thought about it, him standing in that hallway backstage. The way he subtly kept looking around for a second. Nobody noticed. ‘Wait… Did he notice you watching them?’ 

Pulling out your phone, you started swiping and typing randomly. Trying to look busy. Your thoughts were racing. He matched the description perfectly, and here he was, casually joking with his daughter like he didn’t have a care in the world. Despite his friendly smile and demeanor, there was something unsettling about him—a bit too friendly, almost fake? 

After looking at him a bit more, it just clicked into place. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that that may be him, the Butcher. Until now they hadn't found him, not that you knew of. So they were still searching for him. People backstage were rarely searched, except when they wanted to leave the arena.

‘God, you should think rationally. Could that really be him? Still he seemed normal…’

Except the look in his eyes. That look gave you unpleasant goosebumps. You grew anxious, you knew where the camera room was. Police officers were definitely going to be there and maybe the profiler was there. Then you could ask her if the man had been checked by security or talk to her about your uneasy feeling. 

Unfortunately you would have to pass him to get to the camera office. If he hadn't noticed you before, he certainly would then. Could you keep your cool? It didn’t matter. You knew you would overthink it in the evening, you had to do it. Your heart was starting to pound audibly in your chest. 

‘Deep breaths–

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and go. Don't panic.’ Grabbing your phone tightly in your hand, you started walking. 

As you approached them, Lady Raven emerged from her dressing room and started talking to Riley. She was so happy, grinning from ear to ear. As they chatted happily, the dad leaned forward and whispered something to Lady Raven that you couldn't make out. 

As soon as you heard her tell his daughter that they would talk shortly, alarm bells were going off in your head. Your brain stopped working, and your legs and mouth moved on their own. You felt a certain hero complex activating within you. ‘What if he was the Butcher? There was a possibility’

You felt uncomfortable leaving her alone with him. Something felt off. Before they could leave, you sprinted the last few meters towards them. Trying to cry on arrival. 

“Lady Raven, hay… I eh.. I.. I don't... Could I.. could I talk to you for a second? Please, I don't know what to do.. I–” you sniffled. You tried your best to cry. ‘Come one, you could lie better than that’, you thought angrily at yourself. ‘Who would believe you like this?’ This wasn’t going to be the first lie you ever told. You even lied on your last résumé. 

She immediately turned around her face full of concern and worry. For a second you thought you saw his jaw tensing and left eye twitch. ‘Did you imagine it? ‘

“Oh no. Hey, what's going on? You’re Y/N, right? We met earlier.” You nodded your head, keeping the hand over your lower face, while trying to remain in tears. For once, you were glad that you chose to wear your hair open today. Your long blond locks shielded your face even more from the prying eyes around you. 

“What's going on? Are you alright? Did something happen?” She asked more and more questions, putting her hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you.

“There was an accident, I...“ You just kept mumbling incomprehensible nonsense. Still shaking, sobbing, trying not to look up. You didn't even know what to do, what to say. 

“Hay, ehm… I’m so sorry. Could you give us a second? I will be right back. It won’t take long.." she said, apologizing to the two of them. 

“Of course, no problem. This seems serious! Take your time.”, said the man, his voice laced with concern.

‘Why did he sound so genuine, like he is truly concerned? Maybe I judged him too fast?‘

Gently Lady Raven took one of your hands and started to lead you away. It didn’t matter anyway, there was no going back. Now you need to play your outburst to the end and come up with a plausible story. While she brought you into her dressing room, it felt as if someone was staring holes into your back. 

After the door closed, you immediately felt more at ease. Bit by bit you tried to calm yourself. At least that was what it seemed on the outside. You don’t remember much of what you told her, some kind of sob story. The first idea that came into your mind. About your dad having a car accident. The whole car crashed... With your car being parked further away from the arena and you were so afraid your dad could die. That you at worst wouldn't make it to the hospital in time with all the police controls going on in and outside the arena. 

You cried, trying to think your story would be about your mom and not your dad. Which did the trick and made you sad. Being the kind person she is, Lady Raven suggested that you could drive with her in her limo, so you didn't have to go through the queues or security, and she would take you to the hospital or your car. You thanked her over and over again, as you wiped your tears away. 

How high was the possibility that the dad would like to briefly speak to Lady Raven again, when you went in the hallway again? Then everything would have been in vain. However you could’t pressure her. Something came over you, so you suggested that perhaps the other two could join them. Maybe they could also drive in the car? You tried explaining your suggestion somewhat rationally. That way she can still talk with the dad,

you would feel extremely bad if you kept her from talking to her fans. You didn’t want to cause any more trouble. 

Surprisingly, that seemed to work? No further persuasion was necessary. Which left you very surprised and perplexed. Was she truly such a kind person? Who was so trusting? Especially with everything that was going on here today. ‘Did she have such a shielded and good life, that she blindly believed you?’ You wondered.

‘Unimaginable…that could not be the case. You didn’t believe there were any truly good people left in this world.’

After another minute of collecting yourself, you went after Lady Raven. She had already gone ahead and had already told them the short version of what was going on, when you arrived. Asking them if they wanted to come too, so she and the dad could have their talk. She was way too kind and somewhat naive to even suspect you’d be lying. You almost felt ashamed of yourself, even stupid. What were you even doing?

The daughter gasped and tried not to jump up and down in joy, the way she gripped her dad's arm. She seemed to be torn between worrying about you and happiness. By being asked to drive with Lady Raven, her seemingly favorite artist in the world. She was honored and extremely happy for a few seconds, then she stopped and looked at you sympathetically. 

“I’m so sorry about the thing with your dad...” Nodding weakly at her, trying to keep your act up, you gave her a half smile. Unknowingly to you, you had started twisting the ring on your middle finger. A Tic. Something you always did when you're stressed out or nervous. 

The ring was nothing special. A plain black ring with some Greek numbers on it. A gift from your mom; from the only holiday you ever had taken outside the USA and since you were eighteen, there was hardly a day you didn’t wear it. 

“Why don’t we lead the way? That way, we can talk.” said Lady Raven and gestured to the man. 

“Yes of course... I mean, the circumstances are not the best, but thank you for considering Riley and me. We appreciate it.” He replied, looking concerned but with something unreadable in his eyes that made you want to look anywhere but at him. 

“It is no problem at all. Actually it was Y/N here suggesting it. She would have felt bad if we hadn't been able to have our conversation because of her.”

He raised a brow at you. “That is so thoughtful and kind of you to still think of others. Something really rare these days”

As he walked past you, he briefly touched your shoulder, making you nearly jump out of your skin. “And I’m really sorry about your dad. I hope he pulls through. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help” he smiled kindly at you.. 

“Yes, I hope so too. Thank you…” You trailed off, realizing you didn’t know his name. 

“Oh I didn’t even introduce myself. I'm Cooper, just call me Cooper.” holding out his hand.

“Well, thank you Cooper. Also, for your offer, maybe I will come back to that." you shook his hand. He had a firm, but not to strong grip. 'so he was married'

"Let’s get going, please.” Somewhere in between Cooper coming close to you, you almost forgot that you had a mission to get to the hospital fast. Daddy dearest was waiting.

He nodded and as he passed you, walking ahead, you suddenly realized just how big that man was. You hadn't even noticed it before. However, standing right next to him you realized it. He was at least 6′2″, not overly muscular, but also not skinny either. Lady Raven seemed tiny next to him, and you weren’t tall yourself—maybe around 5′5″ on a good day. 

Still, something about his vibe felt off. He seemed caring, yet on the other hand, almost relieved—or amused? 

Riley and you walked a bit behind the two to the cat, nobody had to go through any controls. Riley was such a sweet girl, asking you questions or talking about the concert to ‘take your mind off of your situation’. She was so nice. You kind of wish that you had a little sister like her, but no, you only had a half brother. The only reason he ever contacted you was for money from our grandparents' inheritance.

It was only when you reached the end of the corridor, you noticed Cooper looking over his shoulder. One corner of his mouth pulled upwards and his expression changed. Something sinister in his eyes for a split second. So fast that you were doubting yourself again.

Near the limousine, you felt your phone vibrating, probably Eric wanting to ask where you were. You had no time for that now. Shaking your head, you declined the call and started to write to him, saying that an emergency had come up and you would be back later. You didn’t notice that you arrived at the car until someone cleared their throat in front of you.  

Fuck, you almost ran directly into Cooper. Lady Raven and Riley had already gone inside. He looked at me expectantly, a small smile at his lips. You quickly locked your phone and held it up. “Sorry, my… Sister. She gave me the latest updates on our dad.." you explained, the lies just kept rolling off your tongue, and you just hoped they sounded believable. With that you went straight to the car, without waiting for a response. 

Maybe you should have started an acting career… 

You quickly sat down in the car, with Cooper following shortly after you. Keeping your phone in your hand to secretly keep twisting your ring behind it.

This guy was making you so nervous, not only him but also the lies. You even thought you heard a small deep chuckle from behind you, maybe it was just your nerves? The car started moving. You wondered what they talked about… What did he want to talk about to her? 

Lady Raven's voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Y/N, where should I let you out? You remember where you parked your car? Or should we drive directly to the hospital?” 

Car yeah… you almost laughed. You knew exactly where your car was, a few miles away at the mechanic, because your lights weren’t working. Why hadn’t you thought of that. 

“Eh no, no! Just let me know where my car is. It’s a few blocks away. At this free parking space. There’s my car; let me look up the street real quick…” That wasn't a complete lie. Normally, you would park your car there, because it was just cheaper than parking near or in the stadium. Now just your bike was parked there, well, if nobody had stolen it.

You started to unlock your phone to look up the address. A large hand grabbed your hand with your phone to stop you. Before you could even protest or say something, Cooper started talking in his chipper, happy voice. 

“Really? What a coincidence! I think that should be the same parking lot where Riley and I parked my car earlier. I do know the address, it’s just around the corner.  You don't have to look it up.” Lady Raven pressed a button and Cooper told the chauffeur where to go. The address did sound somewhat familiar. You pulled your phone and hand out of his grip. There wasn't much resistance and he put his hands back into his lap. 

You looked back at Riley and Lady Raven, they were deeply engaged in a conversation with each other. Noticing nothing around the. The phone in your hand started ringing again, and you quickly looked at the screen. This time, it was your boss; should you just accept the call? You did not get much time to think about it. 

“Have you heard anything yet?”, came Riley’s question towards you. 

You started twisting your ring again. 

“Ah yes, yes… My brother texted me..” your breath caught in your throat. Realizing you messed up. ‘Didn’t you just say to Cooper that it was your sister? Maybe he didn't notice. Good thing you hadn’t pursued your acting career…‘

“...and the doctor said it doesn’t look critical. Our dad seems stable at the moment… but he needs to be operated on quickly.. I'm sure I will get more information as soon as…” 

All of a sudden the whole car jolted to a stop, followed by wild car honking. You tried to find your footing, unintentionally gripping onto Cooper's thigh. Right before you could fall off your seat a hand pressed against your shoulder and pushed you back into the seat. You dug your nails even more into his thigh. Riley's bags tipped forward and many of the contents scattered a little on the floor. “Sorry, Lady Raven. The car in front of us braked abruptly." The driver apologized. 

“Everyone alright?” Cooper asked, concern dripping in his voice. 

“All good” said Riley and Lady Raven nodded. 

“Yes, I think so..” you  breathed. He came closer pushing a loose strand behind your ear. A blush crept on your face. After another second, you noticed your hand was still on his thigh, and you blushed even more. 

“Oh I’m sorry!” You exclaimed in a panic. He smiled kindly. 

“No problem. I’m glad nobody got hurt.” Then he got up from his seat to help Riley pick her things back up and put them back into the bags. 

Your phone began to ring again. ‘It’s now or never; it would only get worse.’

With a sigh, you picked up the phone and immediately held the phone as far away as possible from your ear. A loud voice screaming through the speaker. Seemed like your boss just started screaming at you at the top of his lungs. 

You mouthed a quick ‘Sorry’ to the others in front of you. He kept on screaming, ranting about how you were not at work and how he always knew you were a lazy piece of shit. He should have fired me months ago… The list goes on.

As Cooper sat back down. You tried to move your body back in the direction of your phone. Seeing as you didn't want to be too close to Cooper. He didn't seem to mind and put a calming hand on your knee this time. Your mind seemed to go fuzzy when you got near him.

Overall this was not your day, your nerves were all over the place. Your feelings felt like they were on a rollercoaster. You still weren't sure if your gut feeling was right… but you also didn't want to find out. All the lies you told today and now your boss is screaming at you? It was just too much. Clenching your fist and putting the phone near your ear again. 

“I quit.” were the only words you said, dry of any emotion. 

“What did you say?” came the angry reply. 

“I quit” Hot tears were forming in your eyes, Cooper gently started to caress your knee. “i’m so fucking done. You don't know what I am going through right now! Someone could die, and you don't even let me explain myself. So go to hell, and I fucking quit.” Enraged, you ended the call and immediately blocked his number. 

You put your head in your hands and sigh. 

“I'm sorry… Sorry, you had to hear that. Everything goes wrong…” And with that, a sob escapes you. 

‘Nobody can see my face, right? So maybe act even more sad? ‘

This whole day was a curse, why were you even here? Because you felt bad vibes from the dilf next to you? You just wanted to laugh over the whole situation. 

‘You were fucking stupid and now jobless. Great work. Just because you wanted to play the hero, because of a stupid gut feeling. He was a normal dad. Not the Butcher. ‘ 

“Don't think like that. You said it yourself; your dad is stable, so that's a good thing. Maybe I can help you get a new job!” Lady Raven is really trying to cheer you up. 

Someone rubbed your back gently, and there was only one person who could do that. You tried your hardest to ignore his comforting touch. 

“Hay Y/N, I know you just met us, and you don't know me. But I bet a girl like you will easily find a new job. You seem like a good person. If you tell me in which field you work, I'm sure I could help. See if someone I know is hiring. How does that sound?” Cooper really tried to comfort you. He was so sympathetic and strangely charming. 

A small laugh escapes you. "Yes, I probably will..” You wipe away your angry tears’. 

“I mean… I already sent out job applications. I wanted to leave anyway, maybe I will get a job here in Philly or maybe where my mom lives. She lives more in the suburbs, like an hour away I think…” you paused. 

‘Why did you suddenly decide to tell him so much about yourself? Didn't you want to keep a low profile and not give too much real information?‘

This guy certainly knew how to make people talk. About everything, even things they may not want to share and then do without even realizing it. ‘Fuck’

“See! Now you're even smiling again. You just need to see the positive things.” With that, he squeezed your shoulder lightly and withdrew his hand from your back. Making you almost miss the comfort and warmth they had brought you. 

Stop crushing on the hot dad next to you! You tried to remind yourself and also remember all the things you thought were off with him.

“We're here,” the chauffeur announced. Great, finally. This car ride felt like an eternity. 

Cooper and Riley got out of the car first, and they said their goodbyes. Riley, of course, needed one last hug, and Cooper simply thanked her again for what she did for Riley. Before you got out of the car, Lady Raven pulled you in for a hug. 

“Please keep me updated on how things are at the hospital and if you need something. Just text me.” She pulled out her phone and pulled up Instagram. 

“Just search for your username, and I'll add you. That way, we can keep in touch.” 

You nodded and put in your name, and handed the phone back to her. 

“Thank you.. so much. Again. I'm so sorry for any inconvenience I caused. I won't forget this. Thank you! Next time, I’ll be in the front row singing your songs.” 

She laughed at that and nodded. While stepping outside the car, you crossed both fingers that the other two were gone.

Unfortunately, Cooper and his daughter waited for you. You had thought that by staying longer in the car, they would be gone already. No lucky day for you

You scanned the parking lot, and of course, your bike was stolen. The universe was just being cruel now. 

“So let us walk you to your car!” Cooper was way too happy, waving the limousine of Lady Raven goodbye. “Sure..” You started walking towards the cars. 

You were clueless on how to get out of this situation. Abruptly stopping, you looked around. 

“I don't see my car..” you say while looking around again. You sigh extra loudly. 

“Fuck me..”

“Your car got towed?” Cooper 

“Maybe” a dry laugh escapes you. 

“Or maybe with everything going on and all the things that were going on at the concert, I… just forgot where I parked my car.” You ran your fingers through your hair. 

"Well, if you tell me which hospital you need to go to, I'm certain Riley and I can make a little detour on our way home. Right Riley?” Riley nodded. 

“Of course, I’d be happy if we could help you out” she said, hopeful.

Right… the hospital. You should get better at remembering your lies. You were torn between keeping your lie up or simply turning around and walking away. 

You didn’t know what to do. Cooper seemed a bit strange at times, but he could not be the Butcher, right? Still while looking at him you felt like something didn't add up. Sometimes… you didn’t know how to describe it… He felt too perfect, too caring or too sweet. Maybe that was just who he was? You were lost in thought.. The look in his eyes was making you feel a bit uneasy. 

All of a sudden, Cooper's hand was behind your back, and he slowly pushed you forward. “If you can't decide, I will decide for you. Going to the hospital should be the most important thing. So we'll drive you and then you can worry about your car later. Okay?” 

You nodded your head at his idea, simply because you didn't trust your words at the moment. His hand wandered up to your shoulder, where he kept a firm grip and pushed you in the direction of his car. 

Riley was already running in front of you. You winced under his touch, did he know his own strength? You wondered. He certainly didn't look that strong. He opened the car a few meters away so Riley could already put her bags in the trunk. 

A black van

You suddenly remembered what Eric told you about the profiler, she suspected the Butcher to drive a car like this? 

Your body tensed up, and you felt like the pressure on your shoulder increased, which was almost painful. Surely that was going to bruise . Cooper opened the back door for you like you were a child being escorted home. You tried to muster your best friendly face before you sat down inside. 

“Thank you... Have you had this car for a long time?” You asked before you could stop yourself. Cooper raised an eyebrow, clearly pondering the question before answering. 

“Yes, I have had it for quite a few years now. Why are you asking?” Should you just tell him? 

It was just the trip to the hospital.. then you would never have to see them again. You could not fuck up even more than you already had, and until now, it was just an uneasy gut feeling. Also, you were trying to move back to your mom, who was at least an hour away. 

“No real reason.. Just that profiler from the concert. She talked so much, about everything and also about cars... especially mentioning a car like this, which could potentially be the car of a-… killer.” 

He only stared at you. 

‘Did you say something wrong? Maybe you’re the weird one now.’ Nervously rubbing your neck, you tried to lighten the mood with a laugh. 

Thankfully, Riley was just on her way to the passenger seat. She didn't hear her, no need to scare her. You didn’t think she knew about what was going on behind the scenes of the concert. 

“So maybe you should switch it up? But maybe she was just talking nonsense..” you tried to diffuse the situation, massaging your sore shoulder. 

Cooper smiled and laughed softly. "Well, thanks for the tip. I thought about getting a new car. Maybe I should finally get one. More family friendly, any ‘smart’ suggestions perhaps?” - 

“Hmm..maybe just something smaller, maybe in white, silver, or another color? Definitiv not black..” you smile. 

“Great. I will keep that in mind when I buy a new car.” he smiled back at you and closed the door, and got in the driver's seat. He seemed like he wanted to ask more questions, tapping his finger on the steering wheel. 

Quickly, you got your phone out and searched for a hospital near you. You found one which was 15 minutes away. When Cooper started the car you leaned forward, so much that your head nearly reached his shoulder and you could smell his aftershave. ‘He even smelled good.’ You showed him your phone. 

“Here, that's the hospital where I need to go.” He slightly turned around to get a better look at the screen. 

“Can I?” He gestured to the phone. “Just to get a better look.” 

You gulped, a nervous feeling growing in your stomach. “Yeah sure..” 

He didn’t even wait for your reply and grabbed the phone. 

“You got some kind of privacy screen on here?” he asked with a raised brow. 

Oh yeah, how could you forget, and here you thought he wanted to take your phone from you. When he couldn’t even see the screen. 

“Yeah! Sorry, I totally forgot. My boss had cameras everywhere in the building, I got a bit paranoid, so I bought one of those..” you laughed. 

“He doesn’t sound very nice. Maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have to work there anymore!” replied Riley. 

“Yeah.. maybe”

“You could just work at my school, our teacher for IT sucks..” 

Cooper glanced at her disapprovingly, slowly shaking his head.  “Riley…”- 

"Sorry, dad, it's the truth. He lives in the past. No one uses Windows XP anymore." Riley grumbled. 

Cooper started the car, and Lady Raven's music was playing loudly over the speakers before he turned the volume down. After a few minutes of driving and Riley vibing to the music, Cooper cleared his throat. 

"Here, you can have your phone back. Oh and I took the liberty of saving my number on your phone. That way, if you ever need anything or some help finding your car later, you can just give me a quick call.” 

What the fuck. He did what now?

He smiled at you through the rearview mirror, his eyes watching you closely. Carefully, you grabbed your phone out of his hands. 

“That's so… thoughtful. Thank you” You tried to put a smile on your face. 

"So, Riley, how did you like the concert?” You tried changing the topic. Oh boy, that worked. Riley started rambling about everything, including how cool it was to be on stage with Lady Raven. Unconsciously, you found yourself smiling a real smile, she was just so cute. Your eyes flickered to the rearview mirror every so often, and as soon as you met Cooper's eyes, you looked back at Riley. Let’s not get lost because of his good looks. You still felt uneasy.  

You tried telling yourself in your head. Somehow, you felt like a prey being watched by his predator. Once in a while you felt like his expression would flicker for a split second, his eyes becoming way darker, but it was gone so soon. You weren’t even sure if you saw it correctly or if it was your imagination. Even though the feeling was only there for a split second, He looked so friendly, encouraging Riley to talk more. 

Finally, you could make out the hospital in the distance. About time, you thought. 

“Hey Y/N?” Riley asked. 

“Yes?”- 

“Maybe when your dad is better again, you can visit us? I feel so bad for you. Today should have been a great day. _You seem really cool… I mean, your dad and family can come too..Right dad?” Cooper smiled and nodded. 

“Great, Like a family dinner, my mom is a great cook.” So he was married. “I just would like to do something nice for you.” Oh god, the world didn’t deserve her kindness. 

“Of course, you don't have to feel compelled to do so. Think about it, you don’t have to decide now..” Cooper interjected. 

“The two of you are too kind. I can't,” more like won't, “give you an answer right now, but I promise to think about it. Okay?” You fake-gushed at the two, your face hurting from keeping the smile on your face. 

Both Cooper and Riley seemed satisfied with the answer. You felt like you were in the wrong movie, was there a hidden camera somewhere? You arrived within the next minute. Cooper parked his car near the emergency exit. One moment away from freedom, away from this lie. 

“I can’t really thank you enough. Thanks for driving me here. I hope you had a great day. Have a safe drive home.” You tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “Oh, child safety must be on. I’m sorry, I forgot.” apologized to Copper and exited the van to open your door. You didn’t believe him, it just matched too well. 

“I hope you get good news inside. Dad acted really strange today, but I’m happy everything is normal again.” she smiled, before you could answer, and your door opened. 

Daddy is acting strange today. You don’t say…  

“Well, bye, Riley.” You waved at her and got out and barely got your hand out of the doof before Cooper shut it close. 

“I’m so glad we could help you.” he said with that charming voice of his. He started to walk with you towards the building. “With all the extra police force, because of the Butcher, it could have taken you at least an hour to get here.”

“That's true. Well maybe next time he shouldn't let his recipes laying around in his hideouts. What does he even want at a pop concert?” you snorted. 

“Did he now?” Cooper asked intrigued.

“At least that's what I overheard from a few higher up people today.”, no way you were saying that it was Lady Raven who told you.

“Seems like he needs to be cleaner and more careful.”

“If not, they might just catch him next time,” you joked.

“I don't think that will happen, sweetheart.” His mouth twitched in amusement.

That was a weird response. He must have seen the frown on your face, as he quickly started to explain himself.

“I mean if they didn't catch him today, while they knew he was going to be there. I think the chances of the police finding him again are relatively close to zero.” His reply sounded reasonable. 

“Well yes, but he fucked up once. Maybe he is getting sloppy with time. Nobody knows.” 

His jaw clenched. “You think so? Maybe you're misinterpreting the situation. I would imagine someone like him to be very calculated.  Otherwise the police would have found him already, if he was being sloppy.”

“True…” You shrugged your shoulders. Maybe you were wrong, but why did he sound somewhat angry at your statement?

He was honestly acting strange now. 

“Well I think this is where I leave you.” Cooper announced after a few seconds of silence. His behavior over the last meters made you feel unsettled again. He seemed strange. ‘Why was he like that?’ 

“Okay…”, should you with your gut feeling, you wondered? Fuck it, it was just a guess, a wild guess. You always knew your big mouth would get you into trouble someday. Maybe he was just a normal dad and you were overthinking the situation. If that was the case, he wouldn’t think anything of it.

“By the way B-...Cooper” you began, and Cooper turned around in a second, looking at you expectantly, one of his brows raised. His face was unreadable. “You're welcome.. You know that? For getting to drive with Lady Raven"—for  getting out of there without the security controls - was what you wanted to say. Even if he were the Butcher his facial expressions and body language didn't betray him. He smiled and stepped back toward you. Every bone in your body wanted to run. ‘Fuck, did this creep you out.’ You felt like you were pushing your luck today 

“Yes.. of course. I am very grateful for that…” Before he could say anymore, Riley pulled down the window. 

“Dad! Let's go home! Y/N needs to go to the hospital! And I want to tell mom all about the concert!” 

“She's right. I don't want to keep you from your father any longer. I bet your sister is waiting for you. Better go inside.” ‘He knew, he knew you lied when you fucked up with the sister and brother thing.’ Panic started to set in, you swallowed hard, your throat dry.

He came even closer and engulfed you in a tight hug. You stood there, frozen in place. He leaned his head down to your ear, his hands holding you even tighter. One of them slowly wandered to your lower back while he talked.

“Thank you, sweetheart. You sure made it easier. I’m sure Spencer will be soo grateful. I’ll let you know…” a dark chuckle escaped him.

“It's a small world. I'm sure we will see each other again.” His deep voice whispered in your ear, which sent shivers down your spine. You felt trapped. Like a tiny mouse next to him, holding your breath unintentionally. He patted you on the back. Smiling, he stepped away. 

‘Breathe– mask your emotions. Get a grip.’ Many different thoughts running through your head.

Tilting your head to your side you looked at him. Moreover you were confused. Even a tiny bit scared.

‘Please don’t let him notice. Who was Spencer? Did you know Spencer?’

Furrowing your brows you asked “Spencer?” your voice slightly quivering.

He grinned even more— it looked unnerving. It was replaced by a much friendlier smile after another second. “Don’t worry about it.” 

‘Were you imagining things? Now you knew why people said “don't play with fire.” Why had you said anything at all...’

His voice became louder, having that charming undertone again “and make sure to call sweetheart. Riley would be very happy if you came over.” Winking at you he turned around and walked back to his car. 

You felt like your chest was about to explode.

“Yes! Once your dad's out of the hospital and things settle down, Make sure to call my dad. Then we can have a fun dinner.” giggling Riley's voice went even higher. She was practically shifting in her seat, unable to sit still. 

‘Fun dinner? Yeah.. sureeee kid..’

You mustered your best smile and gave her a thumbs up. 

“I will kiddo. See you around.” trying to steady your voice. You needed to get away fast. turned around and walked towards the hospital, near the end you were almost running. 

Once inside, you had the feeling that it was getting harder and harder to breathe. As if you weren't getting enough air. Your breathing became more and more rapid. Your vision was blurred. 

‘Was this hyperventilation? What was going on? Was he really the Butcher? Were you right? Would you die next? Maybe he would keep you alive because you unintentionally helped him?’

Anxiety welled up inside you. You barely noticed the loud voices around you. 

‘Did you hear someone calling for help?’

You had the feeling that the world was spinning around you. ‘Were you still walking?’ It felt like your legs were made out of jelly.

Someone was talking to you, holding you by the shoulders. Shaking you. Waving something in front of your face. However, you couldn’t make out the words. You couldn't recognise the face in front of you. Everything sounded dull, like it was far far away. The world became increasingly blurred before your eyes, spinning more and more– 

until you finally gave in and everything went dark. 

[cffeelia]

divine, divine | k. namjoon

“you are my pain divine, divine.”

summary: your long time boyfriend is the leader of the biggest band in the world. you’d imagine he would have some more time for you now that the group was temporarily disbanded, but he’s still busy with an album, leaving you to feel unwanted and lonely. it’s only a matter of time before he leaves for the military and all you want is to see him do anything but fall asleep in his studio.

kind of angsty but pinky promise it ends on a good note 🙏🙏

2022

bts has become apart of your life as much as it’s apart of your boyfriend’s, seeing as he’s the leader of the group. for the past 4 years, youve grown closer to the boys, growing a special relationship with each of them. from sitting backstage on tour, to placing blankets over them as they slept in their studio. you’ve seen all of their highs and lows, seeing as their moods basically determined your boyfriends.

namjoon lives vicariously through his band mates, if they were upset, so was he. 2020 was a rough patch for everyone, but namjoon took it so harshly. that was the first time you’d ever seen him sob, hands running through his bleached hair as he fell to his knees in your shared apartment.

“what am i even good for if it’s not music? and i can’t even get anything out in this time where everyone needs me. ____, why am i even here?”

all you could do was tuck his head into your chest, your mouth lightly parted as tears fell silently while he cried into your shirt. he’s never crashed this hard before, you needed to say something, anything.

you managed to calm him down after about ten minutes, the night ended with him wrapped in your arms, eyes puffed from his sobs.

thankfully, that year never repeated. you learned a lot about namjoon, his moods, how to comfort him. he wasn’t always a touchy guy, opting for words of affirmation both to you and to receive, but this year taught him how much he loved to be held by you. he would never take that for granted.

things went back to normal after about two years, and bangtan was excited to perform again for their permission to dance tour, though it wasn’t to the scale of the one they originally planned. however, the tour was successful, and definitely memorable for not just you, but your boyfriend and his band mates as well. you can still recall the night they closed off the tour, ‘mikrokosmos’ always would hold a special place in your heart, this group really loved their fans, it’s so admirable to see an artist hold that much love for people simply because they enjoy their music.

nothing good lasted forever, though.

june 14, 2022, during 2022 festa, bangtan officially announced their hiatus. you knew this news was coming since january of that year, but this wasn’t the bad part. if anything, you were excited to spend more 1-on-1 time with the love of your life, and for his close friends to get a break from the spotlight, but it wasn’t what you thought it was.

immediately after this announcement, namjoon was working like crazy on more music. their repackaged album was already out, and the busan concert went well, so why was he still calling you from his studio to tell you he wouldn’t make it for dinner again? that’s how you ended up in your car, trying not to violate traffic laws as you angrily drove to the hybe building.

“mr namjoon, someones here for you.”

the studio door opened to reveal a staff member, namjoon got up groggily from his seat, a little pissed of that his flow was interrupted.

taking the elevator to the first floor, he imagined it was probably some producer offering their beats again. why wasn’t security listening when he said he knew what he was doing for this album?

he wasn’t expecting you, hair braided out of your bare face. you wore his white tshirt and loose fitting jeans, clearly you rushed out of the house.

“hey baby. what’s up?” he slowly made his way to you.

“don’t ‘hey baby’ me, are you seriously doing this again?” you took his hand, dragging him back to his studio.

“what do you mean?” he struggled to keep up as you paced into the elevator, jamming the floor seven button

“____, hey, what’s going on? are you ok?” he cupped your face, dark circles hung along your eyes, your eyelashes poking straight out instead of their usual curled position. were you crying?

“no namjoon, im not! i thought you were done working on music, i want you to come home!” dramatically flinging your hands around, you looked longingly up to your boyfriends eyes, his hand still caressing your cheek.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t tell you. i’m preparing another album before i have to go to the military this december.” he smiled softly to you, but you didn’t return it. your face lost all emotion, turning back to the buttons on the elevator.

“i’m going home then, goodnight.”

“what? hun, what’s wrong? i’ll come home this wholeeee week. i promise, i just got a late start today babe.”

he grabbed your hand to stop your from pressing the lobby button.

“baby, look at me.” turning your head towards his smiling face, you knew you were in for it now. you planned to tell him off, and get him to come home. now you felt bad for interrupting his music process, and couldn’t keep up your angry girlfriend act any longer.

“just let me wrap up, ok? you can come with, there’s still some takeout in my office. give me thirty minutes i promise.” your eyes fell to his pinky, sticking out for you to interlock yours with and seal his promise.

you pecked his lips, looking away embarassed that he sweet talked the anger out of you.

“i love you, you’re real cute.” he whispered as he lead you into his studio.

2023

so much for the stupid fucking pinky promise, once again you were left alone in your bed. namjoon was surprisingly here tonight, but he had barely said a word, his exhaustion took him over, and he almost fell asleep in the shower if it weren’t for you coming in to brush your teeth.

now he was sleeping at your side, head skimming your shoulder as you sat, propped up on your pillows, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. it was supposed to distract you, but your for you page wanted you to remember everything that you were missing out on. you know this is a hard time for bangtan, but what about you? namjoon was overworking himself as if he didn’t have ten whole months before he would have to enlist.

you wanted to feel bad for him, it’s so selfish to tell him to abandon his work to come spend time with you. but seriously, what the fuck? you didn’t even get to kiss him on new years, he spent it with jhope, in their stupid fucking studio.

your phone flashed all colors of purple and white, the tiktok video was from an army recounting their concert memories from 2019 during the lysy tour. you remember that night, hearing thousands of english speaking armys defy the boundaries of language to sing in korean for bts. it made you cry too, but this video inflicted both frustration and sadness in you now.

you turned your phone off, tossing it to the side and climbing into your sheets, head facing namjoons as he slept. you let a tear roll silently down your cheek, you wish he could care as much as he used to. he unconsciously grabbed your arm, barely awake as he interlocked arms with you, and shuffled higher on the pillows. he basically was inviting you into his arms. hesitantly, you scooted until you were in his chest, you arms naturally reaching up to his neck.

that one tear became two, then three, then you lost count. hopefully he wouldn’t notice how soaked his shirt was, you sniffled lightly, careful not to wake him. you had almost drifted to sleep, exhausted from your heavy breathing while you let your emotions fall from your heavy lids. namjoon pulled you into his chest tighter, feeling the wet stain of your tears startled him awake.

he gasped lightly and groggily sprung up from bed

“what? what’s wrong?” you asked, flipping a lamp on, your voice hoarse as you tried to wipe your tears discreetly.

“what, what, is this you?” he pointed to the dark circle staining his loose shirt.

this only earned a sniffle from you, everything fell out all at once, snapping joon out of his sleepy trance, he listened as close as he could, extremely sleep deprived and barely even awake.

“i miss you so much joonie, it’s- it’s- like, not the same anymore!” you sniffled “all i want is to just enjoy waking up with you and going out to cute cafes again without music being behind it! please,” your hands slapped into your eyes, “please joonie can you just, just come back to me once in a while? why am i competing with your music? shouldn’t you prioritize me? i feel so unimportant.” your voice died down, namjoon wasted no time in tucking you back into bed, he let you roll onto his chest.

“hun, you should’ve spoke up. i broke our promise, i know i did, i should’ve apologized princess.” he kissed your temple. “i’m so sorry, ____, i’ll spend more time with you baby. it’s been so hard huh?” he tilted his head back to see your relaxed face, still leaking tears onto his shirt.

“yes, i just wanted you to come home, i feel like i’m loosing it, i haven’t even showered for the past three days, i didn’t wash my face joonie everything’s just a fucking task right now.” you let out another sniffle before looking back into his eyes. “when will you just be how you used to again?”

he felt himself recharge as he looks into your beautiful eyes, though half lidded. he felt like he could sleep in your eyes, they were truly heaven. so much so he forgot to reply, “i know baby. it’s ok, you’re ok, i’ll find a way to stay home more often, that sound good?”

you nodded, puckering your lips lightly, he kissed you once, then again, and again, then your cheek, ear, neck, then back to your lips.

it pained him so much to see you hurt over him, especially when he knows you’ve been innocently waiting like the perfect girl you are for him to say something to you.

after a while, the two of you fell asleep, arms crossed around each other as he caught up on some much needed rest. neither of you woke up until 2pm, joon replaced himself with a pillow, letting you sleep some more while he walked to the living room. his guitar sat in the corner of the room, where it had been collecting dust for two years now.

he rushed back into the room to quietly grab his laptop, also stealing a soft kiss on your lips, before he sat down on your shared couch. he knew what he wanted this song to sound like, he just needed lyrics and now, he finally found them.

copying your words, he began to play quietly. it took a while, but he got the premise of the song eventually, deciding to put the guitar down to cook the two of you some breakfast. he turned the stove on, getting to work making pancakes.

the smell woke you up, even though the food had been made, your boyfriend knew it could be reheated. if you weren’t ready to wake up, he wouldn’t come get you. so, he settled back down with his guitar, playing his untitled song.

it was the sound that lulled you out of bed. despite what you’d said last night, you loved to hear namjoon singing. you stumbled into the living room, sitting down beside namjoon as he continued his song, eyes skimming over you. the smile in his voice was audible. you layed your head on his shoulder, letting the vibrations of his voice relax you.

this was exactly what you missed, just quality time with the light of your life. you had never felt better than at that exact moment, it was the peak of your relationship.

just like his lyrics, it was divine, divine.

i have ideas for a part two if anyone’s interested 😽😽 lmk!!

[is-this-yuri]

have you been doomscrolling? feeling awful about it? do you feel out of control? does it seem your autonomy has been swallowed by the ever present beast that is the internet?

we live in the most overwhelmingly stimulating age of humanity ever seen, and it's only getting worse. our brains are sponges, soaking up whatever we smear them across, and it seems more and more difficult to find a clean surface to rest on. i'm no expert or professional, but ive been born and raised into the internet, and i'd like to hand out some wisdom regarding this.

the main issue: brain poison

since the brain absorbs whatever it's exposed to, media consumption is unsurprisingly going to effect it. the type of media, the amount of media, and the frequency of the media all play a factor.

it's not the internet itself that's bad here. it's the media on the internet, and the platforms designed to suck in our attention and keep it there until we're rotting inside our skulls.

we're never going to escape the internet. it's just a fact of life now, and a tool that can be used for wonderful things. so how do we learn to live with the internet and take advantage of its potential?

treat it like a dietary balance

staying aware of what goes in your brain is just as important as being aware of what you're eating. if you eat carelessly, don't listen to how your body feels after you eat certain things, and ignore any sickness that might result from rotten food, you're going to have a bad time and wreck your guts. the same goes for the brain.

you want to have a good mix of various types of media in the right amounts, or approximately so. if things are feeling bland, maybe diversify. if things are feeling stupid, try something more intellectual. if it's feeling too much, cut back on all of it

the following are three things you can do to maintain a sense of control and awareness over your media diet. this isnt a step by step and is in no particular order, theyre just ideas to carry forward in general any time it could be helpful.

1. digest

this is the process of thinking about and remembering what youve done throughout your time on the internet. it could apply to any period of time. so you might think, 'man, i've done nothing but watch tiktok all day.' or 'i've been scrolling twitter a lot more this past week.'

i feel like most people already do this to some extent, but it manifests as a fleeting sense of anxiety or shame that doesn't lead anywhere. analyze that feeling, and ask if it's really true or helpful.

ask if your media consumption is making you feel less focused, distracted, putting you into a brain fog, making you fall asleep when you don't want to, making you irritable and angry, drawing you into arguments, keeping you awake at night, or upsetting/disrupting you in any way.

digestion also means appreciating the good stuff and recognizing the good feelings you get too. so also ask if it's enriching you, helping you learn something new, giving you a new perspective, exposing you to something beautiful, passing the time, relaxing you, honing your focus, or generally lifting your mood.

2. cut

cut certain types of content from your life once you've decided they're not good for your media diet. block people. move on. tell youtube to stop reccomending that channel. block them. unfollow people. unfollow tags. block the tags. blacklist things. do it. forget the awful things that make your brain hurty. click the block button. uninstall the app. you know you want to

consider removing yourself entirely from websites that are designed to be attention predators. if you consistently feel like youre 'stuck' on a site and cant leave, it's probably best to just delete your account and get out of there. tiktok is NOTORIOUS for this.

i also tend to keep my following or subscribed count low. keeping the stream of content short forces me to find other things to do with my time. this goes hand in hand with things like turning off infinite scroll. it provides an 'end point' where the repetitive action of scrolling down stops bearing fruit, breaking the doomscrolling cycle. the internet is almost an infinite place, and its up to you to build walls around yourself so you arent lost in it forever.

its also important to get off the internet in general sometimes. i know this is obvious, but literally touch grass on occasion. doing anything with your physical body away from the screen will be more enriching than sitting there scrolling for hours. whether it's just a 5 minute walk around your house to stretch your legs or a 6 hour hike every weekend, part of cutting media will mean replacing it with real life. looking at some plants, doing a pushup, or working on a knitting project can be like rinsing your brain sponge under some cold, clean water.

3. curate

the flip side of cutting is curating. you'll want to be looking for media that makes you happy and feels productive or meaningful in some way. anything that not only doesnt make you feel like you wasted your time, but specifically makes you feel like you spent your time well, is a green flag.

keep in mind entertainment just for entertainment's sake is good for you too. you don't have to be watching university lectures and tutorials and stuff all day. finding high quality entertainment, such as personalities you enjoy, good production values, and inventive ideas can be really difficult. find the people who dont make you feel like a cocomelon baby and stick with them. from there you should be able to find similar content.

what's good for your soul is going to depend very much on you as an individual. this is also going to be an ongoing process as not only you but the internet both change and evolve. the important thing about this step is that you Make Decisions about what to consume. even bad decisions! it's all part of the process, and it's all about reclaiming your autonomy.

4. eat your junk food

this isn't a military drill or an exact science. i'm just a guy on tumblr with an intimate connection to his own brain and a LOT of time on the internet. that's my only credential. sometimes i want to turn that brain off and just mindlessly consume without putting any thought into what dirty dishwater is soaking into my sponge. sometimes adhd brain wants me to watch a shitty B movie in recap form so i dont have to commit to a full movie. sometimes i get stuck in the youtube shorts for like 3 hours.

that's fine. the most important part of any kind of self care is that a little bit is better than nothing. even just being aware that youre consuming something bad for you and knowing you arent ready to stop just yet is better than nothing.

thats it!!

now you should be prepared to take back some control over your media consumption. be gentle with yourself and take your time. eventually this stuff will become second nature, and you'll be effortlessly digesting, curating, and cutting media like it's just part of your personality. remember YOU have control over what the internet thinks you want to see. dont let it force feed you nasty slop anymore. let it be a reflection of your mind, not the other way around.

and good luck!

[thomase1]

Two broken make a whole; chapter 6

Series masterlist Main masterlist

Yup, back again.

Please be aware, this is the first smut i have ever written (yes its been in my drafts that long) and one can only do so much to save a catastrophe. :,) The foreplay is way too detailed for my taste, but somehow i just couldnt cut it. Lots of kissing omg, this rlly is kinda mid, sorry.

Warnings: Smut, masturbation, fingering, ¿loss of virginity?, probably some corruption, awkwardness, fluff, worried reader, tender Loki, big time jump

Wordcount:~4.300 of pure filth and brainless fluff (oops)

Or in other words: that escalated quickly

Its now been a little over 6 months the gods have been living here. While you enjoy Thor being here and notice Loki settle in as well, one thing becomes clearer with each passing day.

Loki is your kryptonite. You have never felt such a strong attraction to anybody. His constant flirting and teasing do not make it any easier.

Its like hes been pestering you on purpose after that unfortunate mission months ago. Everywhere you went, he just casually appeared or was already there. Hell, even the helipad wasnt safe.

And the cocky demeanour and ambiguous statements really have been takeing down your walls one brick at a time. Its quite embaressing how quickly one god can wreck the walls youve built up for as long as you can remember.

So now youre here, late at nigh, lying in bed after an eventful, tiring, day. But of course, you couldnt sleep.

You didn't mean to, but you thought of Loki. You've never had relations with somebody before, at least not that you remember of, which is problematic at your age and with your stress level.

Maybe thats why your body is reacting so ferociously to Loki. The thought of him is makeing you all tingly, you cant help but sigh in pent up sexual frustration.

You are engrossed in finding relief and relaxation, which doesn't always work for you. Actually never, yeah, you've never managed to climax before. Or maybe you just expected more of a feeling? You are not quite sure. But it defently isnt satisfying your need.

You concentrate on your movements, in your imagination you see Loki in front of you. You've seen him shirtless a few times, which worsened your interest even further. Damn why must he be a hot villain too.

Well, he is an ally now, yes, but he is still Loki Laufeyson.

You keep concentrating, attempting to avoid thining of him, trying to picture hot actors or just anybody but him.

Suddenly your dark room brightens with a green shimmer.

Loki appears and you quickly hide under your covers.

"I know you're awake Y/N," the intruder says. You don't answer and pretend to be asleep.

"I heard your rapid breathing as I passed your door. I know what I'm interrupting." he teases in a singsong voice.

Damn how embarrassing, your breath catches in your throat.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed. Unless you were thinking about me Y/N, of course that would be a rather peculiar situation, huh?" he purrs provocatively, his voice getting even closers.

He can read minds, you know that, but you didn't think he could do it without even seeing the person.

"Oh, so you're not even denying it. Interesting. There's quite a bit I can do that you don't know about, kitten.", he continues.

Goosebumps form all over you, leaving you to shiver under the covers. He's right next to your bed.

"So Y/N, are you in need of assistance?", you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You try to think of nothing which is near impossible when consciously trying. Especially in the middle of getting yourself off.

"I heard your thoughts before, about you finding it hard to get a high. I just want to help you."

"How long were you listenig you little shit?!", you snap, throwing the blanket off your face huffing.

"Long enough to know how desperate you are."

"Cant you just leave and forget about this, please?", you mumble ashamed.

"But where is the fun in that? Come on now, its a win for both of us. Promise I wont tell.", he sits down at the edge of your bed.

Should you just accept? As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you get nervous. Cheeks burning, hands sweaty and heart racing.

"Do you fancy me that much, getting nervous like this?", he asks grinning.

You dont know if you should punch him or fuck him right now. He is so infuriating.

"I dont fancy you! Its just my hormones going crazy ok? Dont flatter yourself!", you hiss. Why must he torture you like this?

"Yea sure it is.", he says sarcastically.

You dont respond.

"Oh come on Y/N, do you really think you can finally reach your high this time? Just take it as a favor."

He sounds so sincere all of a sudden, what the hell? Well, god of mischief and lies, aint he?

"A favor? Dont act like you dont just want an easy girl for a night, but i am anything but easy.", you scoff bitterly. If there is one thing your job taught you, its to be suspicious of everything and everyone.

He sighs, "No, I dont think of you as easy. I admit I havent engaged in sexual activities for quite some time either, but what of it? It would stay between us, we would both profit from it."

He really sounds thruthful and his tone is kind of... tender? And for a moment the though of just accepting the offer crosses your mind again. It sounds simple enough, but you just dont know if you can trust him.

"Listen, I am entirely truthful right now. What would I gain by bragging about having sex with you? I am no school boy seeking validation Y/N. I believe here on Midgard you say, 'A gentleman doesnt tell.'."

"Will you please stay out of my thoughts?!"

"I can do that.", he smirks.

It actually makes sense though, he isnt friends with the others, why would he tell them? "Ok Loki, just promise me again, this stays between the two of us.", you awkwardly reach out your hand to him, attempting to seal the deal by a handshake.

He, however, grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles, "I promise. I know the past has not been kind to you either, I wish no harm to you.".

This gesture throws you off completely, you are not used to such tender affection. Your worry about trusting him eases a bit, a smile crosses your lips.

But now when you think about it, what if only he gets a profit out of it? When you cant get it yourself, what makes him so sure he will? You already expect a response from the god, but it seems he is keeping his word.

"On another note, what makes you so sure you can even help me with my *you gulp* struggle?", you ask with shaky voice.

He gives a deep chuckle, "Because I've gained some experiece in over a thousand years of living. So, shall we start?".

"Uhh, yea I guess.", as those words leave your lips, he gently sinks his lips onto yours.

You are surprised for a second, but return the kiss after a few moments. Its been some time since you kissed or made out, but you get into it pretty quickly. He leans forwart to you, one hand on your cheek. The kiss is deep with passion, his tongue asking permission to explore. You grant him entrance and he begins his route of discovery.

You grab the back of his neck, pulling him down so he is closer to you. He nibbles at your bottom lip and you cant keep a gasp from escaping you. Your tongues start to dance with each other, fighting for dominance. As you break apart for air her stops for a moment.

You hear him takeing off his shoes and crawl into your bed, now hovering over you. You cant help but giggle, seeing his determined expression lit by only the little light to your right.

You expect a cocky comment but instead your lips meet again. The kiss now just as determined as Lokis expression. It sends a warm feeling through your stomach, down to your core.

You lay your hands on his shoulders, traveling down his firm muscular arms. His hands start to wander too, from your back, over your ribs down to your waist where they stay with a firm grip.

You suck at his bottom lip and he takes a surprised breath. You smile into the kiss which leads him to lay his hands on your bare bottom and give it a hard squeeze. You let out a small yelp of surprise. He gives you a low chuckle and trails his lips off yours, down your cheek to your ear.

His hand moving up to steady himself again, the other one stroking a strand of hair from the path of his lips, he kisses behind your ear and starts nibbling at your earlobe, feeling his warm breath. You are overwhelmed with these new sensations.

Your hands travel to his chest, down his sturdy stomach, sixpack apparent to the touch. Then you wander further to the hem of his shirt, under it and up his torso again. His skin is soft. As he is assaulting your neck, he stops, "Like what youre feeling?", voice full with pride.

"Not bad, I must admit.", you giggle to which he only smirks and takes off his shirt.

Instantly your eyes wander down his bare chest and stomach. Wow. Pure eyecandy. He goes back to kissing your ear, but now the other one. The way he lets you feel him up so extensively while only gently kissing you, it feels like he wants to show you he is no threat to you. Maybe you are just imagining that, but it does make you more comfortable with the god.

As he does just that, you feel around his sides to his broad back and shoulders. And for the first time, a man above you with strong muscles does not make you panic. No, its hot. It feels strangely safe. He starts to trail down your neck, pulling down your shirt collar to reach your collarbone. You let out a tiny moan, you didnt know you were so sensitive in that spot.

You can feel your middle getting, shamefully, damp.

Lokis hand reaches the bottom of your shirt, starting to pull it up a bit. You grab his hands, stopping his movement. "What is it?", he asks hoarsly.

You swallow, "I- I was just getting a bit nervous, sorry.", you say shy.

You have quite a lot of insecurities lurking under the fabric of your shirt, accompanied by many scars, ugly reminders of past battles. While you feel more comfortable with him not harming you, letting him see all of you is still terrifying.

"Dont apologize, I'm glad you told me about it but I am without my shirt too, its only fair!", he grins.

"But then I'm completely naked!", you protest. Honestly, you are just afraid he is going to say sometehing hurtful.

"I do apologize for breaking my word but I was curious. Come on dear, I am sure you look beautiful. You can trust me.", he says so sweet, you think honey may start to drip from his lips. You blush at the sweet remark.

"Ok, just dont tell me if I prove you wrong.", you say, removing your hands from his.

"Oh nonsense my dear, even I wouldnt stoop so low. Especially when it isnt true, you are stunning.", Loki says waiting for you to trust him it seems.

You smile softly at his words, cupping his face and kissing him, leaving him gasping for air. He deepens the kiss again as you feel him slowly pulling your shirt back up.

Bare before him, you can feel his eyes before you even see them and your heart begins to race. You feel so exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, starting to move your arm to cover yourself. "Gorgeous. Ravishing, as I told you darling.", he coos.

He starts feeling up your stomach, to your ribs, settling on your breasts. Your stomach explodes with butterflies as relief washes over you.

As you start feeling around his wall of torso again he starts kissing your collar bones and boobs. You play with his hair, you always wanted to, it just looks so nice and it is as soft as it looks, smelling like lilac and mint.

You start to fondle with his scalp and can feel his shoulders relaxing. He definitely likes that. He showers your whole body with kisses and is slowly moving south, his long hair tickling you down his path. You keep massaging his head as you grip his shoulder with your free hand.

To say it pretty clearly, you are horny as fuck right now.

He is trailing down your hip, slowly moving your covers away as he is kissing down your thigh, takeing his sweet time which is, quite frankly, driving you insane. In the best way possible. As he kisses more and more to the middle of your thighs, you cant help but grip his hair firmly and letting out a small moan.

You feel your sex getting hot and twitchy. His hands are moving towars your middle and you feel a finger sliding over your lips. "So wet for me kitten, you want me to make you feel good now?", he purrs from between your thighs.

You feel his breath fanning agains your skin giving you goosebumps all over. "Yes, oh god yes.", you plead, urgency obvious.

"Say please.", he taunts, finger still stracing up and down.

"Please Loki. Please.", you plead with even more urgency.

And then finally he does; tongue caressing your most sensitive spot, hands pushing your legs apart. Your grasping at his hair harder again as you cant hold back a moan. It feels incredible. You claw into the sheets but keep your other hand in his hair, frankly, you have no control over it right now.

You let out a breath of surprise as he sinks a finger into you and starts moving it, makeing you whine in pleasure. He reaches a spot which feels so good, its unlike anything you felt before. And you think he knows that you feel good, keeping his movement exactly on that sweet spot of yours. Its sending waves of pleasure up my stomach. You move your hips feeling so good, arching your back off the bed as he takes a second finger.

"You taste exquisite.", he purrs as he gets some air into him.

Just as you think of an answer to that, he starts again. He sucks at your bundle of nerves, pushing you to arch your back again. Your whole body feels hot with lust.

You just wish you could touch him too right now, this feels a bit selfish letting him pamper you like this while he gets next to nothing. Arent you surpossed to give him something in return? And then he stops all of a sudden which you comment with a sad face. "Stop overthinking dear, just enjoy it. I will take care of you first, I'll have my fun soon enough.", he assures you, obviously having listened to your thoughts again.

He shifts and kisses you gently. You can taste yourself which somehow turns you on even more. He starts moving his fingers, thumb now rubbing your clit. The kiss gets heated as you lay your arms around his neck, pulling him close. He moves his fingers faster and faster as you claw at his back out of pure arousal.

He sits up, moves his lips from yours and uses his second hand to stroke your clit now. You let out a moan, you think you are nearing a climax.

He moves faster and faster as you cant hold back little croaked mewls. He watches your face like his life depends on it, feeling Lokis clothed cock press into your thigh which turns you on even more.

You swear you are so near an orgasm, you no longer hold control over your body, hips pressing into your helpers hands looking for further friction. Your crys of arousal growing more and more, Loki starts cooing sweet encouragements at you.

"Thats it dear. Dont hold back."

"Come on kitten, come undone for me."

"Dont resist it. Let it all out darling."

Those sinful words spoken so sweetly tumble you over the edge. "Oh g-od, Loki, I think I'm gonna com-e", you say with a sharp cry.

"Thats it Darling, come for me. Give into it.", he supports.

Just like that you reach your high. You claw at the sheets, head jolting back as your body arches into his hand. "There it is. Beautiful.", you hear Loki from a distance.

You feel your whole body shiver. While still in the process of climaxing, Loki keeps moving his fingers inside of you. Your hips are moving on their own, rubbing against his hand. You feel your body quake as you hold onto him and he pulls you closer into a sloppy kiss.

Just as you relax and lean back, body done twitching, he pulls his fingers out of you. You lay down catching your breath and he lays down next to you. He snakes his arm under your back, pulling you into his chest. His hand hovers over you back, softly raking against it.

"Held my word, didnt I?", he whispers into your ear sending shivers down your spine again.

"You certenly did.", you mumble into his chest on which you are drawing circles with your fingertips.

He lays a hand on your cheek and lets it stay there. You close your eyes and enjoying a kind of relaxation and peace youve never felt before.

"Would you like us to go further today?", he asks while stroking your head.

"You know what, yes, I trust you.", you say turning to him with a smile.

He shifts so he can meet your lips. Its not a passionate kiss, it feels more... loving? No, that can't be it. You cant describe it but it makes your heart flutter for a moment.

"I just remembered, I dont have a condom and I dont have one in my room either.", he says, surpising you of beeing so responsible in his excitement.

Said excitement beeing very noticable, urgendly pressing into your side. The question of how he even knows about eartly forms of contraception is a question for another time, you think to yourself.

"Oh, its alright, I'm on the pill.", you say, which surprises him apparently.

"Why are you on the pill when you dont have a partner?", he asks suspicious.

"Ive gotten it because of my acne and symptoms of my period.", you explain kind of hurt he is so suspicious of you.

"Very well then.", he says and gets up.

You sit up too, blanket clutched over your chest. "You think its gonna hurt?", you ask the question every girl has.

"What do you mean? I wont hurt you dear.", he says dubfounded.

"Oh, so you didnt hear that part. Well-", you stop, so embarassed you wish to vanish from earth.

"Are you trying to tell me you actually never slept with someone?", he asks soft but also curious.

"It just never- got to that. At least not to my knowledge, if you remeber the mystery about my name.", you mumble bashful.

"Right, sorry darling, that is fine.", he says softly, "I dont think it will hurt, at least not badly since you already had the pleasure.".

You smile dumbly, your mind racing back to other, filthier, thoughts. Hot breath makeing your mind foggy as tongues collide once again. He pulls you closer, so close you feel his cock nudge up at your stomach. You wander down to his waistband, wanting to feel him.

He smirks and snaps his fingers, suddenly naked in front of your very eyes. Well, you cant exactly see but defently feel his excitement. Your hands basically wander on their own, touching his hips and sliding to his sex, leaving him gasping as you stroke him once.

He lays his head on your shoulder and lets his fingers meet you most sensitive spot again, giving him a appreciative moan. You keep your fingers around his throbbing cock, pleasing him as you like. He lets out a tiny moan which makes you quite proud of yourself.

You sink your head back into your shoulders, enjoying his skilled touch. You quicken your movement, makeing him stop for a second to catch himself, it appears like. That may be because you are not stopping with the teasing. You enjoy seeing him off his high horse. His tense face is a nice sight as well. "Y/N- should we takes this further now?", he groans.

"What do you think we are working towards?", you taunt with a giggle.

He looks into your eyes a little more seriously, "I am asking your consent, kitten-".

You only mouth an "oh". You stop your motions, makeing him relax against you slightly.

"Am I right to take that as a yes?"

You nod, biting your lip.

"Oh my sweet, you dont even know how crazy you drive me. I will make you write in extacy.", he whispers against your shoulder, pressing himself against you. You barely hold back an audible gasp, instead sinking your hands down his back, "And you dont even know what kinds of sensations you bring me.".

"Oh I think I do." He slides down your sloulder, feeling him spreading sloppy kisses all over your cleavage, you grip his hair thightly as he moves his hips to meet yours. You feel him throbbing against your wetness.

"Ready darling?", he asks attentively, lightly pressing against you.

"I think so.", you say anxiously.

He leans forwart and gives you a chaste kiss, swallowing your lips as he sinks into you slowly. The kiss breaks from the vulgar sounds now echoing off the walls. You grimace a bit because it does feel a bit weird, but after a few seconds you get used to the feeling. He stays still for you to adjust, his jaw flexing in concentration.

That jaw... Oh lord that jaw.

"It doesnt hurt. I dont know if thats good or bad.", you whisper against his lips.

The question you had for years starts to resurface. Scenes that picture your own personal horror movie start to plague your imagination.

"Dont overthink it too much sweetheart, just enjoy the moment.", he soothes.

You exhale, calming your mind down from the scary szenarios almost takeing over. You are here, you are safe, nothing you dont want will happen.

"Are you alright?", he watches you and cups your cheek. He looks concerned. You lean into his touch, finding comfort in his caring demeanour.

"I think I am.", you whisper, looking at him, his eyes.

"Is it ok if we continue then? Excuse my blunt choice of words but it is rather difficult to withhold me fucking you into this matress right now.", he says calm, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Insatiable bastard. You shut him up with a kiss, figuring that counts as an answer. He smirks and starts lightly thrusting his hips. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Gradually, his speed increases and now, every time he reaches that one spot deep within you, you get pushed up the mattrass a bit more. By now you are pressed against the headboard. "Where do you think your going?", he asks, gripping your hips and yanking you down to him again with one firm pull, "I'm not done with you yet.".

You whine as he pounds into you ruthlessly, bis tip barely off that spot before he crashes into it again. Your toes curl and your fingers grip a fist full of his hair as he cups the back of your head, pressing you into his chest.

The room is filled with the sounds of sex.

You feel yourself nearing a climax, heatwaves coursing through your body. "I- think I'm... cl- close-", you croak hoarsly.

"Me too darling.", he growls.

You pull him down by grabbing his neck, wanting more of him. You press yourself into him as much as you can, earning a low groan as reward.

"Come for me Y/N! Say my name as you come for me!", he commands, thumb harshky stroking your clit.

You scratch at his back...nearing... nearing... "I'm gonna co-", you whimper.

Your back arches and your body errupts into a shudder as every muscle of your body goes rigid. Only croaked crys of pleasure are able to leave your throat.

"S-ay my name Y/N, gods let me h-ear yo-u-", he groans, about to climax too.

"Lok-i, oh g-od, fuck.", you let out with a cry as him still trusting into you prolongues your high. With a low, beast like, growl he thrust into you hard one last time, feeling him spill into you.

He pulls out and falls next to you. The thick smell of sweat in the air is somehow really comforting to you. You nestle against his chest and he sneaks an arm around you. You come down from what you just did together, his quickened heartbeat just under your ear.

About to fall asleep on him, he suddenly moves and sits up. "What are you doing?", you ask, kind of sad the cuddles ended so soon.

"I saw you were falling asleep so I figured I'd leave now and let you rest.", he explains softly.

You hate to admit it, but something inside you doesnt want to be alone right now.

"Could you maybe stay? If not an inconvenience of course.", you ask shy.

"Of course dear.", he says with an understanding nod, smiling warmly. Loki slips back into bed, taking you into his arms once more. You pull the covers over you two and soon drift off to sleep.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love

@vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

If you would like to be added or removed from tags, just let me know. :)

[demaparbat-hp]

I can definitely see a version of katara, a couple years after sokka goes off with their dad, watching her tribe struggle for resources, first being overjoyed to welcome this air nomad, somebody around her age and also trying to save whats left of their culture in the fire nation’s wake, and then so betrayed when he’s (in her eyes) suddenly the reason they’ve all been suffering for so long, the reason she doesn’t know whether her brother and father are alive or not.

And then zuko coming along, not only with a tangible plan to stop the war and help her family, but also a way *out*. She loves her tribe and would do anything for them, but she’s also a teenager that feels so angry, so alone and helpless, and can only see a future where she lives and dies on this small patch of ice, feeling the pull of the moon but being too busy, too tired, too ignorant to heed its call. Of course its the scariest thing she’s ever done. I bet she deals with nightmares after the righteousness wears off and it sinks in what shes signed up for, the last waterbender of the southern water tribe on a metal fire nation boat. But if katara does anything its buckle down and commit.

I would love to know how zuko even gets into a position to have a conversation with katara and tell her his plan. What is their first meeting like, to not only divulge that, but want her on his crew? Do the two of them do their best to teach her waterbending; does uncle iroh help? I can only imagine watching katara struggle but keep on getting up to try the forms again and again brings back some of his own memories learning bending (i love your art, i love all the details about this au and all the others youve dropped, thank you for sharing even when people are dicks)

You have put this into words much better than I ever could. Her journey, her development and what drove her to make the decision to leave it all behind.

Zuko is a different person in this AU, and has had different experiences. He respects their village's boundaries, and comes in a small ship with two unmasked members of his crew, a man and a woman. He introduces himself in the way of the Water Tribe (I am Zuko, son of Ursa—no father, only his mother's name when it should have come last), and asks for permission to stay in their lands as his ship is repaired. Away from the village, where their presence wouldn't be a burden or a threat, and they could be easily forgotten or watched.

Katara is the only person to look him directly in the eye and, when she goes to where his ship is docked late at night and threatens to end his life if he so much as lights a fire in the direction of the village, he doesn't dismiss her fury or her capabilities. He smiles instead, eyes old and tired. I can end you, right here, right now, she says. I know, he answers. I know.

Days pass, Aang has been making himself scarce and the Prince has kept to his word. He doesn't ask for anything, he isn't seen unless someone from the village goes to stand watch, and he looks at her with something akin to respect.

Then, a few days after his arrival, Zuko asks for an audience with the village's mathriach and her family. He isn't surprised when Katara is there, and he addresses her directly, as if her opinion is something to value.

He hasn't been entirely honest, he says, with the countenance of someone about to play it all in a move that could earn him either victory or defeat. His ship needed repairs and he was closer to their shores than Earth Kingdom land, this is true. But it was so because the person he was chasing after had damaged his ship and, according to maps and calculations and sheer dumb luck, the only place they could have run to was here, in the Southern Water Tribe.

But why would he chase someone like that?

To return home. To earn back the rights to challenge his father for the throne, and end the war.

Why do such a thing?

For his mother. For his sister and uncle. For the world.

Why tell them this?

Because they had a right to know, since the person he was after was right here, right now.

Who?

The Avatar.

Who?

The airbender.

(Later, after Aang abandoned them again, Katara approached the Prince and offered herself to him. She knew the Avatar, she said. She was a waterbender and could help them in the seas. She was the Sea Wolf's daughter, and could ensure an alliance. She needed a way out. He accepted.)

[bunnyluvs-blog]

"Who do u love" "I love Gyu"

Gamer!Beomgyu x roomate reader, non-idol au

Tags -- Fluff, irl games, Make out session, cuddles, cod, gyu is a rage quiter

"WOOOO HEADSHOT" You could hear even if you were actually there. If was your lovely and oh so quiet roomate, Choi Beomgyu. The biggest nerd youve ever seen. He was dorky with his messy dark brown hair. If he wasnt busy playing games he was working or napping. Often falling asleep on the couch after watching a whole series of k-dramas. However dispite all of this, you found him to be darling. The chocolate haired boy never failed to put a smile on your face as he would smile at you when you brought him food during his midnight gaming sessions.

It was 10pm on a friday, which is a normal gaming beomgyu hour. You were at the gas station picking up some extra snacks for you and beomgyu. He paid just a little bit more then you for rent so it was the least you could do. You walked around the aisles, your phone lights up with a message.

beargyu !: "Can u pick up some sour patch kids plsss 🤤"

Y/n: "yes i can anything else ?"

beargyu !: "A MONSTER 👹"

Y/n: "original im assuming"

beargyu !: "u know me sm OK BYE"

You close your phone and pick of the sour patch kids and two monsters. Last time you only brought one beomgyu got mad because he didnt have one for the morning. Now you always get 2 monsters for him. You actually have a list on your notes app for all the stuff he gets from different places. Down to the amount of pickles he wants on his burger. You start heading back to the apartment. Its not far from where you and beomgyu live so you often just walk.

You get back home and place your keys down and kick off your shoes, placing the snacks on the counter. You could already tell he was playing Modern Warfare just by the noises the TV was making. You lay on the couch for a bit. Too tired to really move around. You were a sleepy girl, not much someone can do there, well besides sleep. Which is what you did for about 15 minutes before your phone was being blown up by beomgyu telling you to hurry up. For all he knew you were still at the Corner store buying him snacks. Sitting up and stretching for a bit, you got up to grab the snacks.

You made him some Mac n cheese so he could have real food and not just snacks. For some weird reason the owners if the apartment never thought it was a good idea to get a modern day stove, so it takes 25 whole minutes just for the water to boil a bit. and whole 40 minutes later, it was ready. You got the bowl of mac n cheese and his monster and knocked on the door before opening it. And there he was, your adorable roomate yelling at the TV because some kid shot him. Placing the food down on the table you tapped him softly. "Gyu i made you food so you dont starve yourself mk?" He looks at you brightly as if you were a genie from a bottle and closes his game. He never liked to game and eat, something about the food being too good he doesnt do his best. "Thank you! Your the best, omg you even got the right shape for the noodles. Its like you were made for me" He says, smiling widely before taking a big bite of the food. All you could do was smile.

Once he finished he put his bowl away in the sink then headed straight back to gaming. By now it was almost 12 and beomgyu was still gaming away. Yoy thought too bring the sour patch kids he asked for. Putting them in a bowl so he doesnt have to dig around for them, and removing all the yellow ones. Beomgyu never liked the yellow sour patch even though you loved them. You brought the candy to beomgyu, as he turns to look at you as he flashes his one of a kind smile. It makes your heart flutter like it always does. "Y/N you have my candyyy ugh howd you know i was craving them right now" He ask but its not really a question, you just smile and giggle. "Im just magic" you said to him "You're welcomeee" you say leaving the room. "Thank you, love you" He replied. Which made your heart stop. You had always had a little crush on Beomgyu if it wasnt clear as day. He was exactly your type and he was major cute. You never wanted to act on it though incease he didnt feel the same and one of you would have to move out because of your feelings.

You chose not to think about it. Maybe it just slipped out, Friends say i love you all the time, he probably wasnt even thinking. You scroll through your phone for about half an hour before you hear an angry scream and a door slamming, along with a very pouty beomgyu. He sits next to you pn the couch with a loud huff sound. "Oh no what happned" you say with a sorry look. "Some 12 year old just killed me in overwatch, he was actually cheating and he got the play of the game!" Poor gyu you thought for a bit before he laid ontop of you. He always does this when he loses a game. He comes to you with that adorable pouty face and cuddles you. "Is there anything i can do to make you feel better" you said softly, messing with his hair. It goes quiet for a bit and you think he's fallen asleep when you here. "You could kiss me" What. The words leave his mouth and all of a sudden your at a loss for words. He just said you could kiss him, AND IT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER? "Only if you want me to.." you say softly in return. And that was all beomgyu needed before he shuffled up and planted a quick kiss on your lips.

Both of your faces turned red, beomgyus ears turning the same shade as well. Next thing you knew, you kissed him, deeper and more passionate this time. He returned the kiss putting his hands on your waist. Wrapping your arms around his neck. Your lips moved in sync with one another. Passion and romance filled the room. Beomgyu licked your lips as a way to ask to add tongue to the kisses, and you happily open up your mouth a bit to let him in. These kisses last for what seems only a fee minutes, but you both stop due to the fact that air is needed to be alive.

"Idk ive just always had feelings for you" he said softly, "I mean how could i not, your so pretty and sweet, and loveable. Your eyes are so soft, and you always seem to just know me its amazing." He lets his thoughts run free from his brain to his mouth. And you dont mind. "Like you get me food and hold me when in sad, you never judge me. You take out the yellow sour patch even thought i do like them, i just tell you to take them out so you can eat them because i know theyre your favorite. But i told you i didnt like them once, and that was 6 months ago" You couldnt help but giggle and give him another kiss. "Oh gyu your so silly, thats one of the main reasons i fell for you" you say smiling and plant a kiss on his forehead. You were so happy, nothing else was said that night as you and beomgyu fell asleep on the couch, not caring what back problems came the next day

[classpectpokerap]

Give meq tgat fefat <> roxy stuffff please

alright bear with me for a second i gotta paint a word picture

imagine youre roxy lalonde, right.

you just entered the game. youve got a bottle of momslime. your modus was literally built to hold ectobiologized goo. youve been feeling the weight of destiny on your shoulders -- YOU ARE GOING TO MEET HER. she might be dead but you are going to meet her.

and you get to your sprite,

and theres just

a fucking

CLOWN

and two corpses that he throws into the kernel.

(the first homestuck fic i ever read, Conference Call, has a version of the erisolsprite prototyping. they fought gamzee and got their fuckin asses kicked. its great.)

and then youre left with just. Some Alien Bitch. and its like the universe is teasing you, because she's partially the DIRECT DESCENDANT of the fishwitch what killed your mom, and also a cat???? you are so sick to death of cats. you have been up to your fucking ass in cats. its just too much

and then she just. talks to you

and you slowly start to listen

you hear about her lives on alternia. what it was like being a princess, what it was like being the pauper. how they weren't even really friends, before -- they ran in different circles.

but they're one person, now. one person dedicated to *helping you.*

we never find out how roxy quit drinking, or who helped her through it

(it was fefeta)

and fefeta *loves* you. she listens to you talk about boys. you talk about your mom. fefeta never really spoke to her... but her nepeta half *knows what happened to your kitty frigglish* after he died. and frigglish said that your mom was okay.

that everything was going to be okay

and it's just. jane had her shit. jake was up in his shit. dirk had fucked off with his shit. and roxy really only had fefeta!!!!!!!!

and i think they were moirails and i think they loved each other so much. frankly. tbf.

roxy is a trans woman, fefeta is newly plural. they have a lot in common. tbqh. its like. its very beautiful. in my eyes. in my vision.

and then

she dies

and this is like. this is a really big fucking deal honestly?

fefeta's death is like. a huge thing. its one of the only things she tells john about when summarizing the entirety of her session.

and this isnt something she magically gets back in the post-retcon timeline, either

like... when fefeta dies, there isnt a post-retcon fefeta. (we'll GET TO YOU JASPROSE.) it's just roxy who remembers fefeta's existence at all -- her friends dont have any connection to her. *nobody alive in all of reality* remembers her.

fefeta isnt just dead, dude, shes Fucking GONE. shes the goner ever. shes fuckin erased.

but honestly

on a level? good for her.

we've seen what being in homestuck does to people. it warps them, reshapes them. (see the new hsbc upd8 for some cool imagery about it.) fefetasprite was never a real part of the story. she got away with being silent -- her words are hidden from us. she was never in LE's clutches.

and why would LE even want to clutch her

she's the sword that's going to kill him, after all

:3

i call fefetasprite the "cat fish witch" for a very important reason. a) its cute BUT B). if you look at caledfwlch, dave's sword, and just sorta. squint at the word. it looks like cat fish witch. that's fefeta. she Iss the cat fish witch.

so what does her death mean?

well it's not like dave used an UNBROKEN sword to fight LE.

feferi is the part of the sword still left in the stone. the part we forgot and left behind.

which leaves Nepeta, the other half of this broken sword, of the Cat Fish Witch

to kill the shit out of Lord English. B33

the sword was always going to kill him!!!!!!!! fefetasprite was the sword!!!!!!!!!!! NEPETA WAS ALWAYS FATED TO DEFEAT LORD ENGLISH!!!! AM I CLINICALLY INSANE? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. all this to say.

i wrote a fic about this.

check out the second work in the series for roxy processing the emotions that none of her post-retcon friends remember her moirail. it's some good stuff i think!!!!!!! also hal is there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway jasprose is just roxy's initial dream of reviving her mom in her kernelsprite brought to life through the most roundabout and indirect and stupid way possible. send POST

[ravewing]

Would you have time to explain a little bit about Flame, I don’t remember much from the books, maybe your favourite part about Flame, what makes Flame so much greater and underrated compared to the others?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION SO I CAN RANT ABOUT FLAME HELLO !!!!

OK SO BASICALLY HE WAS RAISED IN THE TALONS OF PEACE, HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HIS MOTHER, AVALANCHE DIDNT WANT HIM TO BE DRAFTED INTO THE WAR AS A CHILD BUT THIS LED TO HIM HAVING TO MOVE AROUND PYRRHIA OFTEN, NEVER HAVING A REAL PLACE HE COULD CALL HOME

HE ALONG WITH THE OTHER FIVE ALTERNATES GREW UP THERE BUT THEY DIDNT KNOW THAT THEY WERE THE 'DRAGONETS' UNTIL THE PROLOGUE OF BOOK THREE WHERE MORROWSEER TOLD THEM BECAUSE HE WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH THE REAL ONES

BOOK FOUR WAS WHERE HE GOT THE MOST SCREEN (BOOK?) TIME, HE WAS INTRODUCED TO STARFLIGHT BY FATESPEAKER AFTER HE MET HIS FATHER; THIS IS WHEN FLAME AND THE OTHER ALTERNATES ARE ORDERED TO KILL HIM, FLAME AND OCHRE ARE FOUND BY NIGHTWING GUARDS AND ARE PLACED IN THE DUNGEON FOR THE NIGHT (THIS IS WHERE HE MET MIDBRINGER AND DEVELOPED AN INTEREST IN BECOMING AN ASSASSIN)

THE NEXT DAY HE AND THE REST OF THE ALTERNATES + STARFLIGHT ARE FORCED TO FLY GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MILES TO A SKYWING GUARD OUTPOST WHERE HE MEETS PROBABLY THE FIRST DRAGONS FROM HIS TRIBE ASIDES FROM THE TALONS, AND JUST AS HE GETS TO KNOW THEM THE NIGHTWINGS BURN THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE DOWN RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS EYES!! WHAT THE FLIP!!!

THEN HE HAS TO FLY ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE VOLCANO AFTER EXPERIENCING THE MOST TRAUMATIC THING HE HAD EVER SEEN!! IMAGINE BEING LIKE 16 YEARS OLD (I THINK THATS WHAT TUI SAID 6 DRAGON YEARS WAS) AND SEEING SOME OF THE FIRST DRAGONS YOUVE MET OF YOUR TRIBE GET BURNED ALIVE IN FRONT OF YOU WHAT THE FUCK

AND THEN THE NEXT FUCKING DAY MORROWSEER GETS THEM ALL TO FIGHT AND HE GETS HIS FACE FUCKED UP BY VIPERS TAIL AND GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH THAT HURT LIKE?? OW?? AND THEN SHE FALLS INTO THE LAVA AND GUESS WHAT??? SHE GETS FUCKING BURNED ALIVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT HE FUCKING GREW UP WITH JUST!!! WHAT

OH YEAH AND SOMETIME AROUND THIS HE AND OCHRE STEAL THE DREAMVISITOR FROM STARFLIGHT BUT THATS PRETTY MUCH IRRELEVANT

ANYWHO HES IN THE INFIRMARY AND THEN FATESPEAKER AND STARFLIGHT GET HIM TO HELP THEM ESCAPE AND USE HIS NEWLY SCARRED FACE TO DO SO AND ALL THE NIGHTWING GUARDS THEY SHOW HIS SCAR TO GO "EW" "GROSS" "YUCK" LIKE OMFG I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM LIKE??? WHAT

ANYWHO THE RAINWINGS TAKE CARE OF HIM UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF BOOK FIVE WHEN THE REAL DRAGONETS GO TO THE TALONS TO SEND A MESSAGE TO BLISTER I THINK? IDK BUT THERE HE FOLLOWS THEM AND SEES HIS MOM AGAIN AND THEY HUG AND HE CRIES AND ITS REALLY SAD AND EMOTIONAL BECAUSE LIKE IMAGINE EXPERIENCING THE GREATEST TRAUMA YOUVE EVER HAD IN A SPAN OF THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS AND YOU FINALLY SEE THE ONE PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT YOU ABD YOU JUST. BURST INTO TEARS

ANYWHO THEN HE GETS SENT TO JMA AND THEN THAT FUCKING CAVE GETS BURNT UP IN AN EXPLOSION KILLING ONE OF HIS CLAWMATES AND INJURING THE OTHER LIKE GEE WHIZ THAT CANT BRING BACK ANY BAD MEMORIES!!

AND THEN AT THAT ASSEMBLY WE CAN TELL FROM MOON READING HIS MIND HOW MUCH THOSE FEW DAYS IN BOOK FOUR FUCKED HIM UP LIKE I COULD TALK FOREVER ABOUT HIS THOUGHTS BUT UH YEAH AND HE SENSES MOON READING HIS MIND AND FUCKING KICKS HER OUT I FEEL LIKE NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THAT

AND BASICALLY HE CONTINUES LIVING HIS LIFE AT JMA UNTIL FUCK ASS SHIT FUCK MIDSTALKER SHOWS UP AND HES ALL "OH FLAME IM GONNA HEAL YOUR FACE" AND FLAME IS SKEPTICAL AND DOESNT BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE NOBODY HAS EVER EVER DONE ANYTHING NICE FOR HIM (OH YEAH I FORGOT THIS WAS TOUCHED ON WHEN STARF AND FATESPEAKER WENT TO GET HIM OUT OF THE VOLCANO WHEN THEY SAID THEY WERE GONNA SAVE HIM AND HE WAS LIKE "WHY WOULD YOU SAVE ME?" THAT WAS REALLY SAD TOO) AND THEN DARKSTALKER DOES WITH THAT PURPLE FLOWER BUT ITS ALSO HEAVILY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT HE ENCHANTED FLAME TO KILL STONEMOVER SO THEN HE COULD SAVE THE DAY AND LOOK GOOD FOR MOON COS HES A FUCKING CREEP

ALSO DURING THIS SCENE WHEN DS HEALS FLAMES FACE TURTLE THINKS TO HIMSELF HOW FLAME LOOKED INFINITELY YOUNGER AND HOW HE FELT BAD FOR JUDGING FLAME FOR HIS 'SCARY LOOKS' OR WHATEVER AND THAT MADE ME REALLT SAD

ANYWHO ANEMONE FINDS FLAME AND IS LIKE "DARKSTALKERR I FOUND HIM HES THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL STONEMOVER :3" AND GUESS WHAT FUCK ASS FUCK MIDSTALKER DOES HE TAKES THE DREAMVISITOR BACK FROM HIS BAG AND IS ALL "FLAME YOURE A FUCKING LIAR LOL" (I HATE DARKSTALKER CAN YOU GUYS TELL) AND THEN HE TURNS HIS LIBRARY CARD INTO A FUCKING CAGE AND FUCKING IMPRISONS HIM DOWN THERE WITH STONEMOVER FOR ESSENTIALLY ALL OF BOOK NINE AND TEN LIKE?? HE IS 7 YEARS OLD. THE EQUIVALENT TO 18 HUMAN YEARS HES BARELY AN ADULT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK WHY DID TUI DO THAT TO HIM????

ANYWHO AT THE END OF BOOK TEN HE TAKES THE EARRING FROM QIBLI RELUCTANTLY SO HE CAN GET OUT OF THE CAGE BUT THEN HE HAS HIS SCAR BACK

AND THEN HE GOES TO WORK FOR THE HEALERS IN THE SKY KINGDOM AND UHH YEAH THATS ALL THE CANON FLAME CONTENT FROM WHAT I CAN RECALL !!

UHH MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT HIM IS PROBABLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER, HOW SHES THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT HIM AND HOW HE ONLY EVER FELT VULNERABLE AND SAFE ENOUGH WITH HER TO CRY IN FRONT OF HER

I REALLY LIKE HIS INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHER ALTERNATES THOUGH!! I LIKE THE IDEA OF HIM AND VIPER BEING FRIENDS AS DRAGONETS

IVE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT HOW HE BOTTLES UP HIS ANGER AND TAKES IT OUT IN THE FORM OF SELF HATRED BECAUSE HE HAS NO OUTLET, NOBODY TO LEAN ON OR HELP HIM OUT

I THINK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE IN HOW HE PERCEIVES HIS SCAR AND HOW DRAGONS LIKE QIBLI DO; QIBLI SEES HIS SCAR AS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF, WHILE FLAME THINKS THAT HIS SCAR RUINED HIS LIFE AND HATES HIMSELF FOR IT

THERE ISNT ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR THAT MADE ME LIKE HIM MORE THAN OTHER CHARACTERS, I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS COOL WHEN I WAS IN THIRD GRADE AND WHEN I REREAD WOF IN 2020 I STARTED FIXATING ON HIM AND THEN I GOT TIKTOK AND STARTED POSTING ABOUT HIM AND THEN I STARTED SELF PROJECTING AND UHH YEAH HERE WE ARE LOL

ANYWHO I WOULD RANT MORE BUT I NEED TO WORK ON 30 DAYS OF FLAME ART THANK YOU FOR ASKING AND APOLOGIES FOR THE ESSAY

[sumeruin]

I can tell you live in the U.S because only an american child would lack this much common sense.

And no you aren't in the clear. You are allowed to write yes. You can write in private and no one will ever know, but this is a public platform. Posting explicit content to the internet as a minor is against the law. Not to fucking mention the legal liability you put others at risk for interacting with you.

You arent creating a safe space to cope. Youve only gone and put a target on your back as a potential child to groom. Aswell as given many quick access to other such blogs. Youve created a space that hids child groomers the best out of all of them. Any one of the people who interact with you could be a child groomer masquerading as a "safe adult", or even another minor.

The safest way for a child to be on the internet is to be invisible. But all you kids do in your quest to have a voice or say in matters you are too young to have a say in, in your need to be on a moral high horse and enact your online rebel vigilante justice, Is make it easier for minors to be found and targeted.

Let me rephrase.

You are a child. It is not your job nor responsibility to create a "safe space" for such a sensitive and dangerous topic for your age. It is not your job nor responsibility to fight back against stigma over teens having sexual desires or using fiction to cope with trauma. It is not your job nor responsibility to carry the burden of reassuring others that they are normal or okay.

All you are doing right now is putting yourself and others in danger. You and every other minor on here openly claiming to be a minor. It is "safe spaces" like this that get targeted. Especially on an anonymous heavy site like tumblr.

You do not understand or care about the consequences of your actions because you do not believe any except that which you choose to imagine exist. You think its not that deep but it is and ive seen it happen far too many times before.

You aren't being smart, or brave.

You're being stupid and selfish plain and simple.

baby i have no clue what you’re talking about

[neptunes-sol-angel]

I've been off here for awhile because I needed a break from this account because I've been fatigued from content creating and I specifically have plans to return for the next few days but before I post anything, I really want to talk about something with this community that's really bothering me. I haven't had any issues with anyone doing this to me, and I'm thankful for those who have been patient with me, but I do have mutuals and people that I follow that I've seen this happen to, and it's the entitlement.

There are way too many posts of people pressuring readers to make their content a certain kind of way, telling them what topics to do, or what topics to do less of and it's extremely disrespectful, unless a reader asks for suggestions/recommendations for ideas, it's rude to slip into their inbox/asks/comments to tell them how they should do their readings because if you take away the notes, it'll be apparent on how this pressure that y'all put on us is the main reason for why so many readers leave. They lose their sense of direction for what to do with their accounts, seeing the value in what they post up here, and enthusiasm for doing readings period. Stop doing it, it's rude. It's like the internet makes a lot of you forget manners and the common courtesy of boundaries because another thing that I want to talk about is these games.

It's getting out of hand how Y'all are treating readers over free content. Unless there was a monetary or reading exchange, there should be no reason for why you feel that it's okay to smother a person for a luxury (NOT A NEED) that they offered to you for free.

I need y'all to understand that the majority of diviners here bring you content because this is a form of escapism, idc who disagrees. A lot of the readers in this community are young, they're exploring and they have the free time to do it. But what all of us have in common, is that we have lives, and that shit changes. At any time. So does our schedules. We have school, work, bills, families, hobbies, issues that we need to take care of related to the things that I mentioned previously, physical health problems, mental health problems, issues with finances, issues with housing, and sometimes it can be that WE ARE JUST TIRED.

It's not to be rude, but if y'all continue to harrass readers like @crystaldivination and @s1ncer3dreams , I really want to remind anybody that posts content up here that's reading this that setting boundaries applies to YOU TOO, you don't have to be scared to defend yourself or feel pressured to explain right away that you're doing what you need to take care of you

I've observed these readers for awhile now, and from what I've seen, THEY ARE ALWAYS giving out free readings and if youve ever picked up a deck and have actually read for people, you would understand how it's actually insane how much taxing it is to even do a fraction of what they do. That post was unfair and vile to make, you didn't even wait to let this person respond to understand what's going on, y'all need to relax because this is concerning. 

[musubiki]

okay AHHHH sorry for the double ask but does lime still have have a sister named kiwi?? I remember seeing her somewhere in one of your earlier works but please tell me if i'm going crazy 😭 if she still exists i'd love to know her role + her dynamic with lime, mochi + the gang!!!

THERES NO SUCH THING AS DOUBLE ASKS IN THIS CORNER OF THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yes he does!!! recently i havent had much development for her since at the moment she seems like one of the characters that we know exist but maybe only gets like. one special episode about her and is otherwise just a minor character.

shes a handful of years older than mochi and lime so shes always been a big sister for both of them!! when they were younger and she was going to school, she would take the bus/train with them since they were small to make sure they made it to school okay. when mochi and lime are in high school i believe shes going to college at that time, and is also one of the only characters with an actual car. so whenever they need a car they use kiwis cute college girl car (Wessport is meant to be very walkable + has good public transport so i actually dont think even mochis mom has a car, just kiwi to drive to the university)

so concerning her dynamic she doesnt interact with them too often!! and when she does shes a very doting older sister to all of them!! the only other beta dynamic is that oscars older brother (hes one of 4 brothers) goes to the same university and has a crush on her. shes studying dentistry and he works in research so they interact semi-often and hes floored every time. he has no idea his little brother (oscar) and kiwis little brother (lime) are friends. imagine the shock when he goes to pick up oscar from limes house one day and "Oh hello!"

also a more recent development is i decided to give lime a big family!! previously it was like. him and his sister living with their grandparents, but i decided to give him his parents back. and he also has a lot of aunties/uncles/cousins, theres also an old concept about limes little cousin who thinks shes his younger sister and calls him big bro!!

i also think it would be very funny if his whole family was like. beautiful. like lime being hot is not an isolated event, any goldwood you meet is one of the most attractive people youve ever seen. good genetics right there

[minminho0]

✤------------------------------------------✤

◈Forgotten◈

✤------------------------------------------✤

<Kunikuzushi/Scaramocuhe x Reader>

-Angst ~ fluff?

Gender: Female

Summary: You were Kuni's childhood best friend but after the incident, he suddenly disappeared and you slowly forgot about him until you dont know what he looked and sound like.

Warnings: death, stalking, ghosted, fire, bad decision (thats all i think)

A/n: Feel free to correct my grammar!

Kunikuzushi>>>other versions of him

i hope you enjoy~!

--

"Oh! Im sorry!"

Someone said while lending me a hand.

"Huh?" I looked up and saw a cute little boy with a worried expression painted on his beautiful face. I held his hand and he helped me up. He was really adorable that you cant help but blush a little.

"Im really sorry!! I didn't know where i was going!"

"Oh no- dont apologize! I didn't look where i ws going to!" I said while scratching the back of my head.

"Oh! Let me help you pick that up" helping him pick up the boxes that fell down when you two bumped into eachother

When you two are done picking the box up and giving it to the customer, you asked him to be your friend.

You learned that he's name was Kunikuzushi

After that day you two became very close.

You two are practically attached to the hip!

He's really shy and kind of timid but its ok you can work with it! (>>>>>>>>>>>)

He's so amazing that you even formed a little crush on him.

"And they live happily ever after!"

"Kuni, when will we get our own happily ever after?"

"I dont know maybe when we grew old?"

"But what if we didn't"

"Then maybe in our next life?"

"Ehhhhh"

He helped you anyway he can and ofc you helped him too.

Your crush on him grew day by day that you feel like your heart is going to explode.

"Umm..Kuni i want to tell you something"

"Oh sure!"

You lead him somewhere noone can hear you two.

"Kuni..i really like you.."

"Me too! I really like you too! Youre a good friend!"

"Oh- no-"

Before i can correct him, someone called onto him and he suddenly left not before saying bye.

You felt your heart deflate.

You were so sad but you cant blame him since hes kind of dense.

.

.

.

One day you smell smoke coming from outside. You came out only to be greeted by Kuni's house burning.

You looked around and saw no signs of him.

You were about to go inside the burning house but your mother pulled you aside.

.

.

.

You really dont know what was going on but all you know is that Kuni is nowhere to be seen and Hes been gone for weeks now.

After the accident, you asked everyone in the village if they have seen Kuni around but no luck.

.

Its been a few months now and youre still searching for him.

Your heart yearned for him. You miss his voice, looks, and everything you miss him so much.

.

.

.

Years has passed since you last seen him.

You were slowly healing from his sudden lost of contact.

Its was a long journey, youve been trying to search for him for so long but all in vain.

You decided to just give up and move on with life.

Along the journey, you met someone Kazuha.

You learned that he likes to travel around and you decided to tag along since why not.

You slowly forget about Kuni along your journey and was slowly replaced by your new found crush, Kazuha.

.

.

.

You were walking around Inazuma when you suddenly felt like you were being watched, you turned around and saw people just minding their own business.

When you turned back around, you suddenly bumped into someone.

"Ah-! Im so sorry!!" You said while looking up

You saw that the young lad have a very familiar face, cute pair of eyes and beautiful indigo hair.

"Do i know you?" You mumbled.

"Tch. No and watch where your going next time."he said walking past me.

"Huh-" before you can say anything, he already dissapeard from your sight.

.

.

.

After that encounter you cant stop thinking about him, he just look so familiar.

"Y/N!"

"Huh-"

"Ah finally ive been calling you for the past minute. Is somethign bothering you?"

"Idk kazuha...I met someone a while ago that looks oddly familar.."

.

.

Ever since that day you feel like you were being watched. Every where you go, you cant get this feeling off. Even if you go to other lands you just keep feeling like you were being followed.

One night, you decided to go walk through the forest which is a very bad idea since you got attack by some treasure hoarders.

Before you could get hit, someone appeared Between you and the hoarder.

"Huh?" You looked up and saw that familar indigo hair facing his back at you.

He quickly deafeted all the treasure hoarders.

"H-hey! Thank you for saving me" you yelled.

"Tch." Then he dissapeard.

"Y/n! Where are you!?"

"Y/n! Are you ok!?"

"Huh kazuha? What are you doing here?"

"Thats not important right now are you ok!?"

"Ah ye.."

.

.

.

Years later

You and kazuha finally grew old.

Alot has happened since then.

You two sacrificed alot for the future that you two are experiencing now.

Kazuha finally retired fron travelling around.

You two got married after 5 years of dating.

The traveller have finally returned into their own world, it was sad but every journey has its end.

That feeling of being watched is still there tho youre finally used to it, so you dont really mind.

Even tho you grew old you were still protected by that same indigo hair guy.

You never saw his face nor did you hear him speak, you also dont know his name since he always dissapears when his job is done.

.

Here you are on your death bed.

You got a deadly disease that dosent have a cure.

Kazuha is holding your hand crying knowing that youll die any minute now.

You were tired.

You want to sleep.

Before you close your eyes forever, you told kazuha that youre thankful for him and wished that he wouldn't join you in the afterlife soon.

At the corner of your eye you saw him.

The same man who protected you all those years.

You finally saw his face.

His face is painted with sorrow and anger.

But not at you tho.

You looked at him and smiled and mouthed the word 'thank you'

As you took your last breath and closed your eyes, a single tear run down your face, smiling knowing that youve done everything you wanted to do.

Every journey has it end and you finally got yours.

.

.

.

When Kazuha finally left the room, Kuni approached you and gently kissed your forehead and mumbled

"Im sorry i left you that day maybe in another life we can have our own happily ever after." As he dissapeard.

.

.

.

--

*Masterlist*

Finally its done!😮‍💨

Took me a while since i didn't saved my work so i had to restart it over again.

I hope you enjoyed it~!

Happy valentines day every one!!

-February 14, 2023

[rivetgoth]

not sure if youve already answered this somewhere, but i was wondering if you have any song/playlist recs for someone looking to get into skinny puppy but not sure where to start to get a representative idea of their sound?

Hey!! Great question!! I’ve probably talked a little bit about it before but not sure where any old posts will be so I’m happy to answer! :D

With Skuppy, I would probably recommend either delving into individual albums OR live show performances. The reason is that every album is very distinct (you can always tell it’s them, but each one has very unique themes, sounds, atmosphere/vibe, collaborators, with some being MASSIVELY different than others), so I’d usually recommend if someone goes that route they just listen through all of them in order, and that can feel daunting I think lmao, so live shows: Their live shows are a huge part of what made them so stand-out, as the shows engage in all these crazy cool DIY’d theatrics. It’s not like any other concert you’ve ever seen.

My recommendation right off the bat to get you started is to check out Skinny Puppy - Assimilate @ Dolce Vita 1986 since it’s probably the most popular Skuppy footage and a great introduction to the band. You can watch the rest of that show here on YouTube if you’re curious. Then I would check out the playlist for the 2023 tour set list (note: this isn’t my playlist and it is actually missing a few of the rarer encore songs, but it’s the TYPICAL set list). I say this because I think that set did an AMAZING job of pulling from songs spanning their entire discography and had so many iconic tracks from the beginning to the end of their lifespan as a band, so you can really get an authentic feel for their sound that way. You can also find a bunch of cool clips of the show online! Like the entirety of the final show is here, which I was at!!

Buuuuuut if this is all too much (sorry I get really excited about them they are my favorite band 😭), I’ll also give a quick list of some of my very favorite Skuppy songs if that’s an easier starting point (that weren’t in the playlist I sent you, so all new stuff!!)

Hexonxonx off of “Rabies”

Addiction off of “Cleanse Fold and Manipulate”

Grave Wisdom off of “Too Dark Park”

Mirror Saw off of “Last Rights”

Goneja off of “Greater Wrong of the Right”

I hope that helps!! 🖤🖤🖤

[ghostofadragon]

like many people since mota came out, i watched mota without knowing it was the latest of a number of war miniseries, and also like many people since mota came out, i liked it enough to check out its predecessors, and let me tell you, going straight from mota to band of brothers is probably one of the funniest tonal jumps i've ever experienced because band of brothers is like... you see the interview clips beforehand... it gives you little history lessons about easy company in the fadeout credits... it's all very Educational and Historical... and then you watch mota and they show you a 60 minute cut compilation of callum turner and austin butler making the most heinously charged eye contact youve ever seen no foreward no afterward nothing they just show you the credits and go yeah have fun with that man. see you next week. and you just have to live with it