#and i have to forgive myself for past mistakes even if no one else will
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i am perfectly capable of hurting people and being insufferable. i realize this. and it doesnt make me an inherently bad person, it makes me just like everyone else.
#though what i want to do is strive to be better#to be kind and graceful and self aware#moving forward#in that way i can distinguish myself i think. i hope#i think often of the quote 'people might not remember you but theyll remember how you made them feel'#i want to leave people better than i found them#and i have to forgive myself for past mistakes even if no one else will#because im stuck with me until i die. i am only owed my own lifelong commitment#im trying man#i just want to be remembered fondly#i didnt have any good examples of healthy relationships growing up#and im not trying to blame everything on my childhood#im responsible for my actions and my behavior#but like im doing the best i can with what i know in the moment#ive never intentionally tried to be cruel. not unprovoked anyway#of that im proud of#i just want to be better#let sleeping dogs lie and whatnot. move on and try again with new people#i cant spend my whole life looking behind me#things happened the way that they did.#ill be ok#im trying. im trying my best. and my best isnt good enough for everyone and thats ok too#i feel such an intense guilt but i dont know how to atone#ramsey speaks
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AS SAID BY JASON TODD/ROBIN/RED HOOD * assorted dialogue from multiple dc universe sources, adjust as necessary
i did it once for dramatic effect and it just got to be a habit.
you can't tell, but i'm dozing off under this mask.
a whole night in paris... and i managed to not kill anyone. not bad.
you made the same mistake everyone does when it comes to me.
i want to warn them... but i know i can't.
don't know, don't care. i got my hands full.
do you remember the last time we were together?
looks like you guys could use a hand!
i'm looking for someone.
i'm afraid it's about to get much worse.
the angry, reckless vigilante bit is my thing.
i'm not good or bad. i'm just practical as hell.
you and i are more alike than you realize.
i get it. starting over is scary as hell.
i don't even need to turn around to know that's you.
thanks for thinking of me. i'm happy to help. honored, even.
i generally have several madness-inducing hallucinations before breakfast.
nothing in the real world can be as frightening as what we can imagine... right?
you don't think i understand what it's like to be abandoned? forgotten?
i'll be damed if my best friend is going to die... because he was dumb enough to trust me.
i'm sorry. i'm never going to be the hero you want me to be.
next time i see you, i'm going to kick your butt for this dying crap.
you have ten seconds to walk way. nine... oh, screw it.
there are better ways to spend your energy.
that looks like it's gotta hurt. well, i say that like i'm speculating or something. i know it hurts.
we chose to be a family.
if there's hope for us... there's hope for everyone.
you still haven't figured it out?
life's just a game... and this time, you lose.
i seem to have made myself an enemy of all the bad guys.
it's too late. you had your chance.
i'm just getting started.
hard to forget that night, huh?
in a way, this was the site of your first great failure.
ah... memories.
you can't stop crime. that's what you never understood.
you want to rule them by fear, but what do you do to those who aren't afraid?
i'm doing what you won't.
i'm taking them out.
now tell me... how does it feel?
is that what you think this is about?
i don't know what clouds your judgement worse. your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality.
i forgive you for not saving me.
he took me away from you.
i am no one's son.
what do you think this was all about?
welcome to planet earth, baby.
fear isn't the answer.
you son of a bitch.
we were friends, helping each other pick up the pieces of our lives.
it might not be a popular thought, but not everyone wants to be alive.
can you hear it?
funny, i actually escaped death.
the past keeps dragging me back.
they're not monsters. they're victims of programming, abuse, and trauma.
they can change.
fact is, they're just like us.
we became something else.
you hurt a lot of people.
we don't discriminate here.
sometimes you don't know what you want 'til you learn what you don't.
trust? you? i'll give it a try. but i'll tell you right now, i'm probably going to screw it up.
guys like us? the life we lead? we're never truly alone.
i have no idea who you people are.
you pompous ass.
before i kill you, i want the truth.
i'd like to think i'm an open-minded guy.
sure it was fun. but does that mean it was right?
sometimes i wonder if i'm just part of the problem.
i'm not doing one more damn mission with them unless you get me someone i can trust to watch my back.
knew you couldn't do it.
it's official. class is in session.
#rp meme#mcflymemes#rp memes#rp prompt#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#rp starters#ask meme#ask memes#roleplay meme#jason todd#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters#red hood#GIFT FOR YOU BLYTHE ILY!!!!
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14~ Makeup Sex
Aged Up! Ao’nung x Sully! Omatikaya Reader
Warnings ⚠️: Ao’nung being a jerk but asking reader for forgiveness, Fingering, eating out, Pathetic grinding in sand
Not Proofread
MDNI 🔞
Something else here
Word count: 1.6k
“Why should I forgive you?” I asked him with my arms crossed along my chest, my own anger had been radiating off of my body as he had the audacity to pull me away from my family for a stupid half assed apology, at this point I didn’t Even want to be near him as I was tempted to smack the ever-living-shit out of him, but it had been my own fault for wanting to be the nicer person to be willing to hear him out, although at this moment I wish I hadn’t been gracious enough to have done that.
“Because what I said was a mistake, I was wrong for saying everything I said and I regret it, I’m hoping you can forgive me.” He spoke in a gentler tone than the one he was usually using around myself and my family, making my heart ache slightly as I could sense his genuine self beginning to show, but the fury I’d been feeling was winning as I looked up at him, my voice strong before stating the following.
“Why, so you can say that a four-fingered freak accepted your fake apology and how naive I was for doing so?” I asked as I threw the insult I’d heard him say back at him, letting him know I wasn’t going to let it slide that easily, what he said had really hurt my feelings, and I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it anymore.
“I should not have said those words to describe you.” He stated quickly.
“You shouldn’t have used those words at all!” I stated angrily as I uncrossed my arms as I let them hang toward my sides, my heart burning at this moment as I thought about slapping him, but refusing from causing anymore problems between ourselves and the reef clan.
“It is why I am apologizing to you as well.” He stated rather sternly and it piques my interest as my ears perk up at his choice of words, my eyes going over toward his, as a means to find if this were part of some ruse.
“As well?” I asked in a softer voice as he nods.
“I have apologized to Kiri, Neteyam, and Lo’ak but needed to work up the courage to speak with you.” He stated in an even toned voice and for a second I could sense how genuine he was being, but another part of me didn’t want to believe he could be so sincere, I squint my eyes as I stare at him, eyeing him up and down before settling to look past him.
I click my tongue at my own frustration, and partial disbelief at his apology, but there were moments that we would spend when he would use this tone of voice with me whenever nobody was around. We had been together for a little while and he’d never given me a reason to dislike him, until his comments were shared about how mine, my brother, and my sister had four fingers when no other Na’Vi did.
“Show me.” I stated rather boldly as I finally bring myself to look into his eyes again. I could see the confusion swimming in his aquamarine’s as he looks back at me, even in the moonlight he looked as handsome as ever, and I hated that I still felt this way toward him even after he hurt me.
“Show you-“ He trails off at the end, unsure of what to say or how to respond to what I had proposed, his confusion evident in his tone as well.
“Show me how sorry you are.” I stated as I recrossed my arms, quirking up a hairy brow as I stared up at him. It was at this moment that I realized a shiny coating on his bruise, likely a salve his sister or his mother had placed on his bruise in an attempt to help it heal quicker. I ought to thank Lo’ak again for having mine and Kiri’s with how quick he was to defend us.
“Come with me.” He stated rather quickly as he extends his hand for me to take, I look down at his hand and back at him, ready to take a quick jab at him for wanting to hold a freak’s hand but I bit my tongue as I extended my own hand toward his. He grasps my hand gently and turns quickly.
_________
I planted another kiss onto her neck as I made my way down toward the skin of her shoulder, playfully nipping, hearing the sweetest of melodies being released from between her lips, I continued making my way down her shoulder and onto her collarbones.
“You’re such a tease,” She rebuts, I lifted my head off her collar bones to give her a smile, hoisting my body up in a quick action to plant a kiss on her cheek, kissing down on her chest once more, between the valley of her breasts and onto her stomach, beginning to admire the beautiful tanhì glowing in the night.
I kiss two of them and hear her gasp as goosebumps fill her stomach, I couldn’t deny myself any longer and settled myself between her legs, my body had been between them, gently prying them open, my hands had carefully placed themselves onto the plush skin of her thighs, pushing them further apart as the most arousing smell flurries up my nose and I could feel myself beginning to drool.
However ramped up I had been to eat her out I had to remember I was doing this for her, not for myself, I leaned down and take a big whiff of her cunt, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I commit the scent to memory, bringing my tongue from the confines of my mouth and licking a fat stripe onto the lips of her cunt, hearing her gasp quickly.
I’d taken notice of the fingers on her hand sinking deeper into the sand of the beach we were currently on, how dumb I must have been to have made fun of her for something she couldn’t control, something so alien yet part of who she was.
I take a second to lick a second stripe onto her cunt, assuring I added more pressure onto her closed flower and tasting the slightest bit of nectar reaching my tongue, not knowing she would have tasted this sweet, digging my tongue back down into her and greedily pushing deeper to taste her once more, groaning incessantly I hot the treasure trove and dip my tongue into her slit past her hole.
“Ao’nung!” She stated in a shocked voice as one of her thighs smushes onto my face in an attempt to close her legs on me, I groan in frustration as I pull her thighs far apart and spread her eagle, wanting to reprimand her from attempting to cut me off my supply but refusing to waste anymore time not tasting her.
I could only hold eye contact with her as my tongue delves deep into her, my tastebuds erupting in her flavor, seeing her bite her lip as a moan manages to slip past either way, feeling myself growing hard at her reaction, keeping my hands onto her thighs I take my tongue and swipe it up her slit, capturing her clit and giving it a flick of my tongue, feeling as her hips jerk away from my tongue only to be pushed back harder seconds later.
I slap her thigh gently in an attempt to let her know I didn’t want her to close her legs on me again.
“Okay,” She pants out in understanding and once I let go of her thigh I fear she’ll close her legs but am not greeted with her thigh smushing the side of my face and grow happy, rewarding her with two of my fingers inserting her cunt, ears flicking as she moans once they are placed in her.
I scissor my fingers to stretch her open and prepare her for my length and set a slow pace with them, her hips move on their own accord as she attempts to take in more of them at a faster pace and I hold back a chuckle at how greedy and impatient she is growing.
“Please go faster-“ She murmurs as I look up toward her, capturing her stare, watching as her own hands -seemingly in her control- reach up toward her own nipples, running her thumbs across the already hardened buds.
I set a faster pace with my fingers and hear another squeal emitted from her as I put myself to work, knowing this is exactly what she had wanted, feeling myself grind onto the sand beneath me in an attempt to feel some sort of relief from my hardened cock and not feeling anything but frustration.
“I’m coming,” She stated, my eyes travel up toward hers in time to see her eyes roll behind her head, her hands squeezing onto her breasts and her hips bucking as her walls spasm over my fingers, I kept my mouth on her and my fingers moving as I coaxed her orgasm out.
Her walls were slow to stop their rhythmic squeeze on my fingers, my licks ceasing as I finally take my mouth off of her and sigh, allowing myself to a big breath after a while of not breathing, waiting for her eyes to open, and once they do she’s staring at me.
“Do you forgive me now?” I asked as a blush spreads through my cheeks as my next question rises to my head.
“Yes, I forgive you,” she pants out as her body goes slack against the sand, her chest heaving as she attempt to catch her breath.
“Enough to suck me off?”
#HeatwaveInPandora2024#avatar#avatar smut#avatar the way of water smut#afab reader#avatar the way of water#aonung x reader#aonung#aonung x reader smut
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DAY 15: Making Amends
Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader
Rating: 🥵?
Prompt: Treat
Summary: Y/N makes it up to Snape for playing a careless prank.
A/N: Part 2 in the 'Trick' and 'Treat' prompts.
Warnings: Mention of wet dreams. Seduction/teasing tactics.
Word Count: 1731
Credits to Gif Creator.
Severus pushed me up against the wall of his classroom, planted on hand just above my head and leaned down towards me.
I stood frozen, looking up at him hungrily, struggling to fully catch my breath.
His gaze dropped to my lips, as he licked his.
I watched on in anticipation. Slowly, then all at once, Severus captured my mouth with his, kissing me with a passion I had never before experienced.
His tongue pushed past my lips and I moaned instinctively. His hand dropped from my waist, fingertips brushing along the inside of my thigh until finally his hand slipped between my legs.
“Severus.” I panted, throwing my head back onto my pillow.
I moaned his name again, touching myself as I dreamed of his hand in place of mine.
This wasn’t the first time this week I had found myself getting off while dreaming of my colleague. In fact, there wasn’t much on my mind lately besides him.
After he was forced to confess his feelings for me the other day, I was overcome with guilt for how I reacted to our disagreement. So much so I couldn’t help but expose myself for my foolish decision. Unfortunately, his good-natured attitude was a side effect of the truth serum which instantly disappeared when I told him I was the one responsible.
“You did this to me?” His soft eyes had hardened once again into a stern glare.
“It was a mistake, I admit. And it didn’t exactly go how I had planned but I was mad at you and I didn’t know how else to make you see reason.” I rambled, realising I probably should have kept my mouth shut.
“So you thought a childish prank was the answer? You almost made me lose my job.��
“I know and I felt terrible about it. Which is exactly why I came to help you.” I pleaded.
“And here I thought you came to my aid because you cared.” He sneered.
“I do care, Severus. We’re colleagues, friends even, of course I care about you.” I could see from his reaction this was not the answer he wanted to hear.
“Get out.” He demanded.
“Please, Severus. I didn’t mean know how far it would go. Can we please put it behind us.”
“I don’t want to see you step foot in my office ever again, Miss Y/L/N.”
“Severus, please.”
“I said; GET OUT.”
~
Unable to get the thought of Severus out of my head, I blatantly ignored his warning and made my way down to the dungeons in the hopes of making it up to him.
For once Severus was not hiding behind his desk and instead stood watching an enchanted quill write instructions on his chalk board.
“I thought I told you to stay away, Professor Y/LN.” He said, not even turning to see that it was me.
At least he called me Professor, that’s a small improvement.
“I thought once I gave you a bit of time to cool down, we could talk about it.” I spoke softly.
“I have no desire to talk to you about anything.”
“Fine. We don’t need to talk.” I shrugged
“Glad we agree on something.”
“But let me make it up to you, I’ll take you out for dinner; my treat.”
“I don’t need your pity, Miss Y/L/N.” Severus finally turned to face me. “I do not need you to humour my affections by going to dinner with me.”
“It’s not pity, and I’m not humouring you. I want to go to dinner with you. Plus, It might be nice to spend some time with you when I’m not blinded by rage.”
“Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for myself.”
“Why don’t we see how you feel later tonight then, huh? I’ll swing back around at about 6 o’clock.”
“I will not be going to dinner with you Professor Y/L/N. I beg you do not show up here again.”
Yet another warning I chose to ignore and instead spent rest of the day getting ready for our dinner.
Not only was I hoping to earn Severus’ forgiveness but I was also hoping I would be discuss my own confusing feelings for him, provided the night went well.
Having spent the evening getting ready with Severus’ reaction in mind, I was not disappointed by the look on his face when he opened the door to me.
Despite still holding a grudge for my misjudged prank, he could not hide the look of appreciation that flicked over my body at the sight of me. I wore a short red dress, that was just a few inches short of risky and came with a revealing neckline that bordered on inappropriate for a school professor to wear walking about the halls. I painted my lips to match the exact shade of red on my body. Severus’ eyes lingered on my chest for a second too long before dragging down my tanned legs to my crimson stiletto heels.
He swallowed and tried to regain his focus on my face, but even then, he failed to hide his erratic breathing.
“I told you; I don’t need your pity.” He snapped, fighting past his initial surprise.
“How many times do I have to say it, this isn’t pity, Severus. This is me wanting to spend my Saturday night having a nice meal with man I can’t stop thinking about.” I blurted.
“This won’t work on me.” He eyed me suspiciously.
“I have no idea what you mean.” I smiled cheekily.
Sighing, Severus gave in to the side of his brain that had a soft spot for me.
“One meal.” He agreed. “This does not mean I forgive you for what you have done.”
“Of course not.” I smiled. “Bring your coat, it’s cold out.”
Severus walked with me in silence all the way to Hogsmeade, trying his best to maintain his icy demeanour, but failed to disguise the longing glances he had when he thought I wasn’t looking.
~
“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me.” I asked after we had finished dinner. While he had begrudgingly engaged in conversation with me, the stony look on his face had not budged. He leaned back in his chair; brows furrowed and folded his arms across his chest.
“You almost got me fired.” He stated, matter-of-factly.
“Fine, okay, I admit I had a small lapse in judgement, but I’m trying to apologise here.”
“Not hard enough.” He enunciated.
“Okay fine, dinner isn’t enough for you, I get it. But maybe there’s another way I can make it up to you.”
I mirrored his movements; leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. It was hard to miss the way Severus’ eyes flicked quickly down to my breasts, appreciatingly the way my arms pushed them slightly out of my dress. I bit my lip, locking eyes with the Professor. He eyed me suspiciously.
Pointing my toe, I ran my heeled foot up the inner seem of his trouser leg, rubbing against the inside of his thigh seductively.
“What do you think you are doing.” His eyes widened at our contact.
“Don’t you like it?” I teased, conscious that my foot was nearing his crotch.
“People can see us.” He said through gritted teeth.
“That isn’t a no.” I smiled.
“It’s not funny, Y/N.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“I have never met a more infuriating woman in my life.”
“And yet you still came to dinner with me.”
Severus looked huffed, clenching his jaw harder.
“It was hard to say no to you looking like that.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.
“Glad to hear it.” I blushed.
The table fell into silence as the tension between us grew.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, you know.” I finally admitted now I had his full attention.
“What?”
“Since you told me how you felt. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.”
“Now you know how it feels to be me.” He said begrudgingly.
“I don’t know…” I trailed off. “Are you having wet dreams about me often?”
“What?” His pale skin turned scarlet.
“Because that’s how much I can’t stop thinking about you, Severus. I’ve been touching myself every day thinking about what it would be like for you to do the same.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhm.” I hummed, losing myself in his dark eyes.
“I think we have more than outstayed our welcome here, don’t you think? I suggest we go somewhere a little more… private.”
Now it was my turn to blush, a shy smile taking over the entire bottom half of my face.
Severus led me out of the restaurant, down the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade. Seeing me shiver, Severus draped his cloak over my shoulders, taking my hand in his to steady me on my feet as we rushed our way back to the castle.
Tired of waiting I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled his body into mine upon entering the warmth of the castle.
“Kiss me, Severus.” I demanded.
He hesitated.
“What if someone sees.”
“I don’t care.”
Before the words had even left my lips his mouth was on me. Kissing, licking and biting his way across my neck, chest and eventually my lips. He dominated my mouth possessively, staking claim over me as his and only his.
My hands clung to his shirt, frozen in the spot where I pulled him into me, never wanting to let go. Conversely, Severus’s hands roamed my body like he had been waiting his whole life just to see how what I felt like, and he wasn’t going to miss his opportunity to touch absolutely everywhere.
Like a dream come true Severus hands found there way to my inner thigh, only this time my whole body shivered with goosebumps, and they weren’t from the cold. I gasped when I felt his fingers run along the fabric of my soaked underwear.
“Maybe we should go somewhere more private.” I suggest, struggling to catch my breath.
Severus nodded, removing his hand from beneath my dress.
As we made our way back to the dungeons, all I could think of was how I was going to make it up to Severus for what I had done to him. One thing was for sure though, it would be a treat he’d never forget.
.
.
.
Taglist:
@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil @entirelymesmerising @mikariell95 @snapefiction @a-queen-and-her-throne @amazingzou @peridot-pineapple @snapesno1thighrider @kittenlittle24 @forfaehou @caseydoodles98
#severus snape#severus snape imagine#severus snape one shot#severus snape fanfiction#alan rickman#severus snape x reader#severus x oc#severus snape fluff#severus x y/n#severus x reader#severus snape one shots#severus snape imagines#severus snape oneshot#severus snape oneshots#severus snape smut#severus snape x y/n#severus snape x you#severus snape x oc#snapetober#snapetober 2024#pro snape#pro severus snape
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Reconciliation
F1 masterlist | Main masterlist |
A/n: Here is the requested part 2! Also please send me your ideas, I’m in writers block.
Summary: read part 1 here. After a nearly marriage breaking argument and y/n walking out on Lando, he is determined to get her back at any cost.
Warnings: kinda angsty, suggestive at the end, slight fluff
Pairing: Lando x ceo!wife!reader
Lando pov:
What have I done? I just lost my unborn child and my wife in the span of a few months.
I tried to call her so many times but she refused to pick up. I went to all her estates and apartments in and around London but couldn’t find her.
I even called her parents and they said they hadn’t seen her and also expressed their dissent with me, which I totally understand.
I shouldn’t have said that to her. I knew how much the baby meant to her and I know she still is trying her best to work and handle her company.
No matter what happens or what it takes, I will get her back.
Y/n pov:
After that argument with Lando I called an Uber to my apartment in Greater London to find some peace.
He didn’t know of this apartment of mine so there was no chance he could find me.
I knew he would try and get me back as soon as he realised his mistake but I need space. What he said was vile.
I threw myself into the company work and officially came back as the CEO of l/n industries as I had taken a break for the baby.
Timeskip (6 months):
I was at my desk looking at some contracts when my door burst open to reveal the man that had shattered me a few months ago, Lando Norris.
But how did he get in? I had him blacklisted and all the security personnel knew not to let him in. My train of thought was broken as he spoke.
“Y/n baby, please hear me out! I can’t live without you. These past 6 months have been absolute hell. I love you so much and I realised almost immediately that I shouldn’t have said that. I miss you so much please forgive me, take me back into your life” he croaked out desperately
Hearing the desperation in his voice I couldn’t help but feel bad. I too missed him dearly, he was a part of my life since childhood.
I think I was finally ready to forgive him for his words after 6 months.
“Lando, I miss you too. What you said was heinous but I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I love you too, I’ll come back only on one condition however” I replied
“Anything baby, whatever you want in the world” he immediately said
“I want you to be my personal assistant for the month. I just fired mine and I don’t have anyone at the e moment to hire” I told him.
His look of worry immediately turned into one of joy and he ran towards me and hugged me tight
“You have no idea how happy I am to have you back in my life. The last few months were so miserable for me you don’t even know” Lando whispered into my neck.
Finally my family was back. We had overcome one of the biggest hurdles we would ever face. We definitely belonged with each other.
Timeskip:
We got back home after I finished up my work at the office, it felt good to be back home.
Lando came up behind and helped me take off my coat and started kissing my neck, god did I miss his touch.
He took me to our bedroom and took off my clothing one by one.
“We’re not gonna stop until you have another baby growing in that pretty little body of yours love.” He said huskily.
Boy was this going to be a long night.
A/n: my apologies if this was too short, I didn’t really know what else to add here. Let me know your thoughts on this fic and also send me your requests. Kissies ✨
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 angst#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris angst#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris smut#f1 smut
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Stanley Pines X Reader
Note: This is from forever ago and I didn't really edit it, I only fixed grammar and spelling mistakes so it's pretty bad but I'll publish it for fun.
Word count: 1,224
Page number: 3.3
"This evening has drained the life out of me," I muttered with a sigh.
Entertaining all these people, and keeping the kids out of trouble was a full-time job in and of itself. This made me notice the main host himself had disappeared leaving me with all this extra work. How could he have vanished in the middle of the party without warning me?
I stepped inside to look for him. He probably wanted a moment of peace and quiet. Like I also didn't need a break. But I took a breath knowing he's been pretty stressed recently. With the agents sniffing around and everything. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed everything got quieter, a little too quiet for my liking. I stepped back outside to see that everyone was gone even the kids. That's when someone ran into me full force.
It was Dipper, who stumbled back beside Mable.
"What's going on!?" I asked as Mable and Dipper ran past me.
They didn't have to say anything before being answered.
The zombie that had been chasing after them quickly rounded the corner. I ran after the kids and made sure they safely made it inside. I swiftly grabbed the axe left by the firewood pile and fought them off the porch till I could make it inside. I slammed the door shut and locked it hoping that would help.
"What do we do? Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mable yells but he's nowhere to be found.
"We need to board up all the windows!" Dipper yells.
"We don't have time for that kiddo," I respond trying to stay as calm as possible
It didn't and the windows were being busted open. They would quickly make their way inside. I pushed them behind me to protect them. I lifted the axe and fought off the ones that came too close.
"Go upstairs," I ordered but the kids were too scared to move.
I was facing the kids when a zombie quickly grabbed my arm but I was faster and pushed it away. I hit it with the axe as hard as I could killing it. That's when Stan appeared panting, his clothes torn, and his hat gone as his hair flew in every direction from the rush. He gestured to the kids and looked me in the eyes.
"You three, attic? Now?" He yells getting all our attention.
"Grunkle...Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper gasps.
"I said now!" Stan yells again.
I pushed the kids to make them rush as I stayed alongside Stan and helped him fight off the horde that followed us. He didn't question me and we fought back to back.
"Hurry up and go, I'll be right behind you." He tells me.
I don't want to leave him but I wasn't going to question him now.
"Eat it, no eyes!" I hear Stan yell
I hear A zombie growling as I make it up the stairs. I pull the kids into a hug and comfort them.
"Anyone else wanna piece?!" Stan yells from downstairs.
I hear things crash on the floor. My worry for Stan increases as I wait for him to safely make it back us. I couldn't forgive myself for leaving him if he didn't return.
The kids rushed away from me to hold the door closed. But Stan rushes in and locks the door behind himself. He looked serious, his bat was gone and replaced with his brass knuckles. He showed the slightest sigh of relief when he knew we're okay.
"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! Are you alright? Heh heh, well, at least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?," Dipper nervously mutters.
The room went silent for a second before anything was said.
"Kid, I always knew," Stan says with a sigh.
Dipper looked astonished by his response.
"I'm not an idiot, Dipper! Of course, this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" Stan says further explaining himself. " I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!"
I guess now was a better time than ever to tell the truth. I knew it was hard for Stan, and there was plenty more to say. But he was protecting the kids, one of the things I loved about him. He cared so much about his family even if he had trouble showing it.
A zombie's hand breaks through the door. We backed away to the other end of the room and stand ready to fight. Then a zombie breaks through the window. Stan punches it and watches it fall to the ground, where a crowd of zombies is staring up at the Shack. More start crawling up the outside walls. I grab onto Stan's hand for comfort and he gently rubs his thumb across my hand.
"It looks like I didn't lie well enough." He mutters under his breath almost too quiet for me to hear.
"What do we do, what do we do?" Mable panics and grabs onto my sleeve.
Dipper looked at the Journal giving no answers till he found the missing word shown by the black light.
"Invisible ink?" Stan says to himself.
(Time skip)
After everything was over I could finally breathe properly. I stayed outside to clean up a bit. Stan and the kids stayed inside to clean up all the damage. The outside fresh air always helped me when I wasn't feeling well. But what happened tonight wasn't gonna go away for a long time. I would probably just push it back and try to forget it.
Once everything looked a bit better I decided to stay outside and sit on the porch. It was peaceful now, the stars were out and I loved the view.
I hear the door creak open and Stan steps out. "What are you still doing out here?" He asks before walking over to sit beside me.
"Nothing much, enjoying the night air I guess," I responded.
"Fair enough."
"What are the kids up to?" I ask.
"They went to bed after helping clean up," he answers.
"I hope they're okay," I say wrapping my arms around myself to ease the worry. "They've been through a lot today."
"It'll be okay, their tough kids." He says wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"I guess," I say as a small smile spreads on my face.
"Are you okay? you were pretty beat up earlier." I say looking Stan over for any sign of pain or injury.
"I'm fine so no need to worry, Are you okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say before laying my head on his shoulder.
"Just know that as long as I'm still here I'll always keep you and the kids safe. Even if it kills me." Stan whispers sending a shiver down my spine.
"That's good to know."
#gravity falls#Stanly#stanly pines#stanly pines x reader#x reader#Stan x reader#gravity falls x reader
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Hob Gadling’s Involvement in the Transatlantic Slave Trade between the 16th and 19th Century
The Fallacy of (clumsily written) Racial Reconciliation or: Is show/Hob really different from comics!Hob
I originally wrote this a while back as a reply to someone else’s post, but since we’ve been discussing “Men of Good Fortune” (comics) and “The Sound of Her Wings” (Netflix) in our community over the past weeks, I’ve expanded on a few points of my original thoughts.
This post discusses difficult topics, systemic racism, questions of social (in)justice and problematic angles in writing. If that’s not your thing, this is the exit sign…
A question that comes up quite frequently is the following:
Is show!Hob different from comics!Hob?
Hob’s conversation with Dream in 1789 (and not just 1789) in the show has been significantly altered (compared to the comics), and it makes it tempting to believe this somehow makes him different regarding the more problematic side of his character.
In the comics, we have a bit of dialogue in 1789 that shows how deeply involved in the slave trade Hob was: “I sort of started it,” said with a hint of, dare I say, pride? And then brushing off Dream’s concerns by saying, “It’s a living.” Twice.
(They changed this to, “It’s just how it’s done”, and a shrug in the show.)
And it’s true: If this had been integrated into the show, it would have painted him in an even worse light. However, I personally think it was the wrong move to leave it out (Ferdinand Kingsley carefully voiced something along those lines as well btw). Because now the show pushed Hob’s whole involvement in the slave trade much more into the direction of, “Oopsie.”
Can we truly take leaving out the above dialogue as a hint that Hob might be a better person in the show? I’d like to really reflect on that--leaving out those comments can’t make him a better person. Even if we change his arc slightly and he “wasn’t that involved.” You’re involved, or you aren’t. There is no, “I tried a bit of slave trading and decided it wasn’t for me.” One could even argue it makes the angle of the show more problematic because it makes the slave trade a “little blip” in his timeline. Things like that can’t be a blip. I personally think the writers made a mistake here, but that’s obviously just my opinion.
If there wasn’t enough space in the show to expand on it (which I get for a side character), I feel they should have left out the slavery arc completely instead of keeping, but then minimising it (that might sound contradictory, but it only does if you don’t look at it too closely). It already didn't sit right with me 30 years ago to use slavery as a side note for showing a white person’s character development without properly examining the damage caused, and it still doesn't sit right with me now. It makes the plight of PoC a plot vehicle to centre white people’s guilt, and I always thought that’s a blind spot only white people have (and I’m white myself, to get that out of the road straightaway).
I’m not saying it couldn’t or shouldn’t have been used narratively. Or that you can’t show remorse and atonement/redemption for the most heinous acts (that’s not the same as forgiveness—I’ll get to that). Or that characters who have committed said acts are irredeemable. But it would have needed to be fleshed out instead of making it a comment in passing. Many books and movies do exactly that. But the point is that it’s never been fleshed out.
“But they had to shorten and streamline it…”—just no. Because to me (and ofc people are free to disagree), that exactly proves the point—centring the white guy while sidelining the people who suffer. I am a bit doubtful we’ll get anything remotely appropriate in the show after what we’ve already seen. Only time will tell, so I’m withholding final judgment at this point. Fact is: It is uncomfortable to watch for people with any sensitivity on the matter.
And yet, there is a lot of focus on leaving out Hob voicing his regret in 1889, since that (again) “would have painted him in a better light.”
While simultaneously regularly failing to mention that he proudly proclaimed he “invented” the triangle trade. Can we really pick and choose his traits like that? Hob is a materialistic opportunist who also has some regrets. That doesn’t mean he can’t exist as a character, or that we’re not allowed to like him (morally grey characters are often the most compelling ones). We don’t need to sanitise him though, or try to erase his problematic traits from canon. The same goes for other characters (yes, I’m looking at you, Dream, and I’m sure we’ll get to that very soon—in fact, we’re possibly starting tomorrow 🫣). If we are talking about Hob’s remorse, we are probably mostly thinking about Sunday Mourning, so I need to bring in issue #73 at this point (this is your spoiler warning if you don’t want to read ahead).
The Fallacy of Racial Reconciliation
Very plainly:
A black woman is used as a vehicle to forgive Hob. And said black woman has been written by a white male author for that sole purpose without giving her anything else to do. I personally think NG got that wrong. It was clumsy and insensitive to POC, and I really hope they change this for the show. It’s a fact that he really wasn’t good with writing black female characters in the whole run—they all get fridged in one way or another, and he even admits it in the Sandman Companion. And then turns around and basically implies that it's all okay now because “nothing bad” happens to Gwen once Morpheus is dead. She is allowed to be a vehicle for the character development of a white guy though. It’s just really insensitive, and I sincerely hope they don't put it in the show this way. And I’m glad that we're seeing hints it might not happen--at least the casting in the show hints at it (from Lucienne, Death and Rose to very likely turning Carla into a white man—we already met Carl, and that’s who he is IMHO).
There is also the not so small fact that Hob is, even in his guilt and shame (shame is always about yourself, and that’s actually very in keeping with his character), not honest with Gwen. The thing about him basically inventing the triangle trade, which he so proudly proclaimed in 1789?
The English who were so good at it? The “Jack” Hawkins he talked about in 1789? That’s actually this dude:
And Hob funded him 200 years before 1789, and enabled Hawkins. Hob was involved in what became the transatlantic slave trade well before 1789–he already funded it when he had money in the 1500s.
He carried that mindset around with him for literal hundreds of years and saw nothing wrong with it until at least (! more about that in a sec) 1789. Dream had to rub his nose in it, otherwise it wouldn’t even have occurred to him (or did it, and he just chose to ignore it--see below).
Hob has been written as a stand-in for humanity, British Imperialism and England over the centuries—with all that entails.
So how honest is he with Gwen? And how long, even after 1789, was he still involved, even after abolition in England (Somerset vs. Stewart declared slavery unlawful in England in 1772, but that wasn't true for the rest of the British Empire. Buying and selling slaves was only made illegal in 1807, while owning slaves only became unlawful with the Abolition Act of 1833, and it took another year to buy out slave owners to actually make it happen)? Because there’s still this:
“It got worse when they did [outlaw the slave trade]. You only needed one voyage in three to make a profit. You could afford to dump your cargo if… you spotted a British Man o’ War.” How does he know? Why does he have these nightmares? We can take a guess…
That’s not someone who tried it for a couple of weeks and then thought, “Sorry, my bad.” That’s someone who has been opportunistically involved from the 1500s and potentially until after slavery was unlawful in England, which it already was when he talked to Dream in 1789. So does his feigned ignorance of, "It's a living/It's how it's done?" really hold? Especially if he potentially kept going, even after that convo with Dream? When I wrote "between the 16th and 19th Century" in the header, that's exactly what I meant...
Guilt and Shame
Yes, what we see above and in all the other panels is guilt and shame. And it reminded me of this:
youtube
And I’d encourage everyone to really listen to what Jasper has to say, and sit with the feelings it brings up. Because I can still remember watching this in the George Floyd aftermath for the first time, and how deeply uncomfortable it made me—because he’s right.
Black people/PoC do not need to forgive and absolve white people from their guilt. They can if they wish to, but that’s their choice, not ours. It’s not for white people to absolve other white people from their guilt around the oppression of PoC. And that’s why it could be argued it’s not for white people to write a black character to do that in their stead either (they can of course, but then they need to live with the fact that people will call them tone-deaf). It could also be argued it is something that cannot be forgiven retrospectively, and white people need to be okay with that. It can only be worked on in the present with a view to the future. And as Jasper also so rightly points out:
The guilt is not even helpful (at least Gwen has the right sentiment there, but it’s still falls incredibly flat over all), and shame only centres ourselves.
Forgiveness vs Redemption
Hob Gadling's regrets don't make everything he did forgivable. I think it actually does the story a disservice if that’s our main takeaway, because this is truly one of the bits of The Sandman that’s written in an extremely tone-deaf manner. NG isn’t the first author who did this, but we can take something good and helpful from this, and that’s engaging with these questions instead of brushing them under the carpet—because that’s what literary analysis is about.
It should be clear that I do see Hob Gadling as narratively important because I see him as a stand-in for humanity, and more specifically, English history. And there is really so much to learn from that.
Writers can get things narratively right but still be emotionally tone-deaf due to their own blind-spots. We don’t need to assume malice, but we also don’t need to leave it entirely unchallenged.
And because of that, we can certainly see Hob as someone who has to live with his conscience, and the consequences of his actions, for the rest of his life and struggles with that (as he should). And maybe we can see him as someone who is now, finally, trying to do the work. Because that is what atonement and redemption actually mean:
Taking action to rectify past wrongs. Actively working against the harm once caused, and preventing it from ever happening again. And I hope that’s what he does, and the signs are there (but there are also still signs that he values covering up his immortality higher than e.g. telling Gwen the truth. And we can find a million excuses for why that is, but ultimately, none of them truly matter).
However, it is not the same as forgiveness from the people we have wronged. Forgiveness is not a prerequisite to redemption, although it can be a part of it if the person who has been wronged chooses to extend it. But the people Hob wronged are dead, while their descendants still need to live with the pain people like Hob caused to this very day. So while I don’t see him as irredeemable, I don’t think he needs to, or even can, be forgiven—especially not by black people (unless they choose to. But it is also fine if they don’t, and again, we need to be okay with that). And we could say, “But Gwen chose to.” To that, I say:
I wonder what Gwen would have said if he had been truly honest with her (which he wasn’t, see below panels). That wouldn’t have been an embrace is my guess…
#the sandman#sandman#dream of the endless#hob gadling#morpheus#the sandman netflix#the sandman comics#sandman meta#men of good fortune#the sound of her wings#sunday mourning#Gwen sandman#cw racism#transatlantic slave trade#triangle trade#queue
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Believe what you want is amazing! We need part 2 if you can, love it 💕
After a long while, here's happy ending, you can read part 1 here "Believe What You Want" and the angsty second part here "Angsty Version" . Tbh, I don't know what I did here, I was falling asleep in front of my laptop💀 so yeah sorry if it isn't good😭
I took ages to do this one, I know but I've been extremely busy and sometimes I can't with myself
Believe What You Want (2) - P.G8
(Happy ending)
Summary: After realizing he fucked up, he tries his best to get you back
"I overheard them speaking that night at Fer's birthday. Victoria was going on about you and her, that your things with Y/N would end up soon... Those kind"
Pedri's mind was racing in fear and agony. "No" He whispered "Is there any possibility for Victoria to have made those burns in Y/N's skin?" "
"Well, it can be... She got out of the house around noon so..." Pedri's eyes clicked up like lightning all the dots were connecting by your side.
You were right. All this time you were.
He had been too stupid to realize that
"No" He whispered once more
"What's up, dude?"
"I fucked up bro. Big one"
...
"She doesn't answer me" Pedri said for the fifteen time in a row pacing around in his room
"And she won't answer to you" Fer said "I mean... I wouldn't answer you either"
Pedri had explained everything to the three guys in the room, Fer knowing a bit more thanks to you. And he knew that his younger brother loves you to death but he also knows that what he did, wasn't right.
"¡Joder! ¡Soy un puto idiota!" (Fuck! I'm an asshole!) Pedro yelled kicking a ball in his room crashing into one of your pictures together "No, joder... No" (No, shit... No) He hurried to pick up the picture and inspect it. It had one little scratch made from the glass, the scratch made in between the two of you.
He shook all the negative thoughts that were running in his head and changed the photo frame.
"Well, you've got to understand her" Adrián began speaking "All of this could be true and her boyfriend just choosed to not believe her"
"I did not just choose not to believe her"
"You basically did, bro" Fer hissed "I mean... If my girl tells me that I would do more than just talking with each girl separatedly"
"And not only that but you also told her your personal fights as a couple" Jesús said
"Because she's my best friend!"
"Hermano..." Fer started "That's meant to be something only for the two of you, not something for you, Victoria and Y/N" Fer shook his head "I mean... It's okay you ask someone else for an advice, like what to do or stuffs but not to rant because for that, you've your girl. The one who's in the relationship with you. The one who's with you in the goods and the bads" silence flowed into the room, Pedri's heart was beating incredibly fast "If you want her back, you need to fully work for it, Pedro. Words won't do half of the work you gotta do"
And that was it.
Pedri broke down, feeling already the loss of the love of his life not being next to him, this time a bit heavier than the past 7 days. He left you when you didn't do anything at all. He threw you and your relationship away without a good reason. Tears escaped his eyes and his breathing was erratic.
All of his thoughts were about you and imaginating a life without you in it, thanks to himself.
"I'll be back before midnight" Pedro said grabbing his phone, wallet and car keys
"Where are you going? Won't you even take a shower? You smell" Adrián said shaking his head
"He cometido un grave error con la chica que amo, en estos momentos oler bien o estar guapo es lo que menos me vale" (I've made a big mistake with the girl I love, right now I don't care if I smell or look good)
"Pedro" Fer called him before he got out of the room "Buena suerte, hermano" (Good luck, bro) Pedri for the first time ever, smiled a bit.
"Thank you"
He was going to work for your forgiveness. He will make you fall in love with him again. He will win your trust again. You'll be happy with him. You'll be with him. He was going to make sure that happen.
And for that, he needed answers.
...
"Yes, there was a (Hair color) girl, with (Type of Eyes), a bit short, she was pretty nice. Sad thing she got hurt" A boy behind the counter said hissing remembering the moment "Elianna went with her, she said it was pretty bad but nothing that some cream and care couldn't do"
"Is that girl here? Elianna?" Pedri asked hopeful
"She's on her lunch break right now" The guy answered "She has the whole shift... Is it important?"
"Yes, really important" Pedri said without a doubt
"I'll let her know. You can sit anywhere and if you want to have a drink you can tell me" Pedri nodded slowly walking away.
He didn't know how much time he was there until a redhaired girl walked up to him, he without thinking straight stood up
"My workmate said you were looking for me?"
"Are you Elianna?" She nods "I'm Pedro. I'm the boyfriend of the girl that was poured coffee all over her"
"How's she?" She asked after gasping a bit at the mention of you. "I hope she's better"
"Ah-yes, she is a bit better. Thank you for asking" Pedri nodded nervous "Can I ask you something?" The girl nodded "Who poured the coffee on her?"
"Some random girl, Y/N said the girl didn't liked her..."
"Could you maybe describe her?"
"Oh, sure!" Elianna nodded "She had long hair, brunette with blonde highlights, she used tight clothes and she wasn't as short as Y/N, she was a bit more taller, maybe just like you?"
That was exactly Victoria's description.
"She entered a few minutes before Y/N, after I gave her a box of cupcakes she just kind of ran away and then next thing I knew was that the same girl poured hot coffee on Y/N"
Pedri stood there taking in all the information
"She hasn't been here since that day" Pedri nods humming "However, Y/N has and I know for a fact that her boyfriend broke up with her thanks to his best friend" Pedri looked up at her, guilt filled over his body "Why are you behind her? She's been awful these past few days, she's recovering from your treatment, why the need of asking all of this, if you don't believe her?"
"Because I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I want to mend it"
"Wish you luck... You'll deserve it because if I was her, I wouldn't even give you the time of the day or spare you a single look" Pedri looked down in shame and regret "I need to go... You want to order something?" He shook his head
"Not feeling hungry at all" He murmured grabbing his wallet and pushing some money into the girl's hand
"You aren't ordering anything"
"For you... For the help, for the info. Thank you"
And with that Pedri stood up and left the cafeteria. As soon as his body met the Catalan air, he fought the need of crying his everything out. You were right, just like you always were.
"I shouldn't have just let it pass" He said crying to himself now in the calm of his car. "I should have done something" He lamented.
His phone lighted up with a notification he didn't care about, his focus remained on a photo from the two of you at one of his spots in Barcelona to calm down and relax.
"Please, mi niña. Tell me how to make things right, tell me it's not too late, just please..." he begged at nothing because you weren't there and you haven't been since 7 days ago.
And as reality was hitting him, he knew there could be a possibility of you not going into his life ever again. Leaving him for your own good while he was suffering.
Pedro picked up his phone and dialed his best friend Jesús's number.
"¿Aló?" (Hello?)
"You said you heard them speak that night at Fer's birthday, right? I need to know everything you heard and if you saw something too, I'm on my way to pick you up so we can talk"
"You're really working for Y/N?"
"I am" Pedri nodded "I fucked up and I'm trying to mend everything with her"
"I'm waiting for you, hermano and also..."
"¿Qué?" (What?)
"Good luck, you'll need it"
That phrase was starting to get on his nerves, he didn't liked how that sounded, because it seemed like even with all the effort he'll make, it'll not be enough to bring you back into his arms.
"Thanks bro"
...Two days later...
"Why?" Pedri said entering Victoria's house
"Hola Vic. ¿Cómo estas? ¿Qué tal va todo? Días sin verte" (Hi Vic. How are you? How's everything going? Long time not to see) She mockingly said with a smile but her smile was wipped off of her face when she saw Pedri's seriousness
"No estoy para juegos. Dime el por que has hecho eso" (I'm not in the mood for games. Tell me why you've done that)
"Done what?"
"¿Me estás tomando el pelo?" (Are you making fun of me?) Pedri hissed angry "Stop playing around and tell me... why you did all of that to Y/N?"
Victoria's face changed
"I didn't do anything"
"You did. Don't lie to me about anything because I know how things went now" Victoria's face changed
"What do you mean?"
"I know you poured hot coffee on her that day at the coffee, I know you've been telling her things behind my back about my relationship with her and stuffs, I know you poured her drink on yourself but made it look like it was her doing" Pedri shook his head not believing it "You faked things and like a fucking stupid I believed them, when the one I should've believed was my girlfriend! You damaged my relationship but I was the one breaking it for believing you, for believing my best friend"
"I let go the woman I'm in love with and it was all thanks to you because I never thought that my best friend, the one who has been besides me through my whole life could do such a thing and lie to me straight to my face!" Pedri's face was red and he never stopped to take a bit of air, he was fuming, he was angry and all he wanted to do was make Victoria disappear.
But most of all, all he wanted was to get you back.
"Those are lie-"
"If you even dare to say lie, I will pour the same drink Y/N was drinking that day at Fer's birthday, this time someone pouring it over you for real"
"She's making those things up!"
"She's making nothing up! I saw the video of the CCTV camera of the coffee shop, Jesús heard and saw the two of you at Fer's birthday and now that I connect dots, every single thing Y/N has told me, has sense now. And I hate the fact I couldn't see through it, I hate that I put my girlfriend's words in doubt all thanks to someone who didn't deserved a single look"
"Pedro, stop. You're hurting me"
"And don't you think you've hurted me before? You knew I was having troubles with her and all you wanted was to get her away from me. Why?" Nothing came out of Victoria's mouth
Your words came back to him and he blinked thrice, suddenly being brought back.
"Don't know" You sighed "As much as Victoria might love each and every single one of you, guys... I can assure you that what she said to me today and the way she said it, it wasn't a joke" You said "I'm a girl and I have a male best friend too. But I wouldn't say those kind of stuffs just as a friend or to see if she's worth and good for him" You shook your head "Es más, ni siquiera le diría algo de ese estilo a ella" (I wouldn't even tell her something like that)
"She likes you" You said after a few more seconds "And that's it"
"Can I ask you something and you answer me with the truth?" Pedri said with his heart on the edge, he waited and all he got was a simple and small nod from Victoria "Are you in love with me?"
A few seconds passed where Pedri's eyes never left Victoria's "Yes" She said softly "I am" Pedri felt the air being knocked out from his lungs "Pedrito"
"No" He shook his head looking away "No" Pedri's eyes grow watery, he couldn't believe it. Once again, you were right, his actions and words replaying in his head, the way he ignored your feelings, the way he treated you, everything was haunting him. "Don't call me Pedrito nor Pedro, Pedri, Pepi, nothing. Don't even call me, forget about me, you are not my best friend"
"Pedri, por favor, don't do this"
"No. I didn't do anything, you did it yourself. Best friends don't do what you did to me, if you truly loved me, you could've straight up tell me that not take it out on the girl I'm in love with"
"In love with? So in love you are, you did not believed a single thing from her"
"And that was my biggest mistake because I thought "Why on earth the girl that has been besides me since forever would do something to damage me or the ones I love?"" Pedri laughed ironically shaking his head "I was so wrong and I regret every single thing I did since I saw Y/N leave on Fer's birthday but guess what? I had the one I thought was my best friend besides me but I never did"
"You still have me"
"If I do, I don't care, the one I truly need isn't here" Pedri shook his head "But I did needed my best friend those seven days to tell me everything was going to be okay, that I could move on, that I was in the right and Y/N in the wrong, that I did good in breaking up with someone who could only do was lie but then I find everything out and I realized I was just a puppet in the side of your game and I fell for it"
"Don't say it like that"
"That's exactly what it was" Pedri shook his head "´Now, me disculpas pero me tengo que ir" (Excuse me but I've got to go)
"¿Y para dónde vas?" (Where are you going?)
"You shouldn't care about that, Victoria. Hope you have a good life" With that Pedri turned around and walked outside of her house when almost inside his car he heard her yell his name out
"Pedro!" He looked at her "I'm sorry"
Pedri joined his lips and nodded softly, lifting one of his hands giving her a wave before he got into the car and drove off to certain destination with a single intention.
...
"What do you mean she's not here?"
"She hasn't been here since like a week ago?" The older lady said with a smile "She said she'll come back tho"
"Do you know where she might be?"
"I don't, mijo. I'm so sorry" She looked at Pedro carefully "Is everything okay?"
"I need to know where she is so I can fix things between us" Pedro answered with a lump on his throat, his voice cracked a bit and he looked down at his shoes
The older lady sighed "I'm pretty sure you'll fix everything that may be happening with the two of you, son"
"I don't know, miss. I messed up really big this time"
"From what I've seen you love each other so much, I've never seen someone look at her in the way you do and vice versa, talking things out can be really helpfull instead of letting problems grow"
"The thing is I never let her talk and all I did was say things I shouldn't" Pedri shook his head
"You know? She's looking really pretty in those pictures, maybe you can start from there" A loud "Abuela" was heard as the older lady smiled looking over her shoulder
"What pictures?"
"Oh, you know... The ones you take, the ones you update, the ones people take, those pictures..." The woman was smiling softly "Don't let her go" And with that she left leaving Pedri sat in front of your doorstep
He was sat there analyzing the woman's words. Pictures? The ones you take? Update? People take? Pedri's mind ran 120km/h trying to guess what she meant of and after some minutes and what it felt a whole lifetime, he confused grabbed his phone and clicked on Instagram.
You liked it even more than Twitter or even Tiktok, Pedri remembered with a smile the moments where you would "fight", he; claiming Tiktok was better as you defended Instagram with your life
He typed your user with no reward, you blocked him. And it was no surprise at all but his heart still broke a little bit more when he couldn't find you.
He sighed closing his eyes and relying his head in your door, fighting the tears, it seemed like he only could do that in the past days, cry 'till he had no more tears inside of him, fight the urge to cry and feel his stomach fall to his feet. He hated feeling this way and he hated the way he must have put your through
He unlogged his session and went into his mother's, you couldn't have blocked her, could you? With shaky hands and blurry eyes he typed in your user and this time your profile was the first one to appear, the colorful circle around your picture meaning you had stories up.
While he was sad, you were in Venice with your friends and family, he recognized almost all of the faces in the pictures, all of them except one, a male's one.
That quickly catched his attention, that guy appeared in eight out of ten pictures and in all of them he was besides you. You even tagged him on one and Pedri's thumb directly went to his account.
One of the most recent post of the guy said: "I hate the fact that when I met my soulmate she had boiling coffee burns on her but I certainly don't hate the fact I got to meet you, baby!"
Pedri's stomach flipped, seeing your answers of "♥️🥰" made his head turn everywhere, in an instant he got up and headed towards the elevator in his mind only three things. His passport, Venice and you.
Due to some storms in Spain, he couldn't get out that same day and neither the next day, it was day three when he got into the plane and one day after he was in the same residence as you were.
He saw your brother and followed him, he felt like being on Matrix, he was making sure no one saw or heard him, that was until he stumbled on a vanity table and knocked half of the things that were in there
"What was that?" He heard and that's when he ran, the quitness and calm forgotten as he was desperate to find you. He took a right turn colliding with a female chest after a few seconds
"Joder, lo siento mucho" (Fuck, I'm so sorry) He said inmediately
"Pedro?" You said shocked as he also stood there impressed. You looked even more beautiful than always. Your tanned skin, your red cheeks and your Y/H color making you look perfect. "Pero, ¿Qué haces aqui? (but, what are you doing here)
"Por ti. I came here for you, I want to talk to you"
"We don't have anything to talk, in fact, you don't even have to come here, you don't have a reason to travel all the way from Barcelona to Venice"
"I did, I do. My reason is you and you'll always be. I fucked up, yeah? I get that" Pedri shakes his head "You were right" He opens his mouth but closes it "You were right all this time and I'm sorry I couldn't see it through, I'm sorry I did not take your words, I'm sorry I just kinda left and pushed your feelings aside, you deserve more, you deserve better but I can be better, I can be what you want, need and more if you want me to"
You started shaking your head, pushing him back from his chest when he tried to get closer to you.
"Pedri por favor, aquí no" (Pedri please, not here) "Pedri, stop. We don't have anything to say"
"Y/N, bonita, te lo suplico-" (I beg you-)
"Vamos al cuarto, ¿si? We can talk about whatever you want and then you leave" (Let's go to my room, yeah?)
"I don't want to leave without you"
You looked into his big brown eyes as he looked into your (Eye color) ones for a good while, you sighed before breaking eye contact
"But you have to" You said nodding slowly, Pedri shook his head
"Por favor" (Please) He whispered
"This way" You turned around walking away while Pedri watched your every move
You called the elevator and entered when it came, you turned to Pedri
"You wanna talk or not?"
Pedri nodded and walked towards it, he turned his head to look at you
"Do I have something on my face?" He hummed for a few seconds before answering
"You're beautiful" He ignored your words as you looked up at him
"Please, stop that"
"I-" He got cut off by the elevator doors opening
"This way" You said walking off as he only could follow you.
You stopped walking when you got to the door 408, with the key you opened it and then stepped inside letting the door open for him to come in as well.
You took a seat in the couch and patted the spot next to you, he took it and you both were silent.
"So... ¿Vamos a hacernos compañía o vas a decir lo que sea que quieres decir?" (Are we going to be each others company for now or you are going to speak whatever you want to say?)
"I'm sorry" He began "I fucked up. I should've listened to you and put Victoria a stop, I should've been more careful with you and your feelings, not passing through them and ignore them. I believe you, I always did and I always will do but it seemed so unreal that what I thought was my best friend, could do such a things, hurt the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, when her whole life she was protecting me and supporting me through everything"
"If my family wasn't there, she was. If my family didn't have an advice, she had. And for you to just say she did this and said this was a whole different thing from what I knew from her that I just couldn't believe it. But it was truth. And I'm sorry once more"
"Y/N, I'll do anything for us, I'm not giving up, we're so good together, I love you so much and if only I could turn back in time and do everything right I would but I can't, however, I'm here to mend things, I'm not expecting you to forgive me and that's it. I'll earn that forgiveness, I'll protect us and I'll be better for you if you let me, please. I love you, I want you and I need you"
"It's not easy as you made it sound, Pedri"
"Pedro" You shook your head
"That's something only family and close friends can call you, right?"
"Don't do this, please"
"But you did it first" You said pushing your lips together. Those were the exact same words he had told you the night you left "You really hurted me and you just can't change that. Please, I think it's best if we let this go" You looked into his brown eyes as he was shaking his head "For both of our own goods"
"Not having you in my life it's not good for me"
"Maybe not but it's the correct thing to do" You said "I just can't trust you anymore, no matter what you do. You told me I wasn't the same girl you fell in love with, that says enough"
"But it's not true, I said it in the heat of the moment! You are still the same girl I fell in love with and you're still the same girl I want to do my life with"
You stood in silence for a few moments before you stood up "That hurt me a lot. Hearing the guy I'm terribly in love with say that I'm not that girl he fell in love with"
"Y/N-" He stood up from the couch as well
"It's done" Your voice cracked "You don't get to come here after doing that stunt back at your brother's birthday and once you realized I was in the right came straight back here to apologize, hoping for me to run back into your arms" You shook your head "You don't"
"Does he treat you good?" He said out of nowhere
"¿Acaso te la fumaste? ¿De quién estás hablando?" (Did you smoke it? Who are you talking about?) You said confused
"About your new friend! The one that appears in every single story of yours and on your posts!"
"Mason?"
"That same one" You laughed dryly
"He's gay" You blurted out "Believe me if he wasn't I would be already trying something with him since he does believe in me not like others"
"I said I was sorry"
"And I said that didn't make it. If you want me back you'll have to do a lot more than just apologizing, González"
"He seems to like you"
"He doesn't. He's here with his fiancée, they're celebrating their engagement" You remembered that night at your apartment, the night he showed you his new engagement ring and that same night he asked you to go to Venice with him and your family to get your mind out of your ex.
"I'm sorry"
"You like to apologize a lot and tend to not feel the sorry"
"I do am"
"Great, good for you. Can you please go now?" He shook his head
"No. I love you and I know I messed up but I can mend it, anything you want, think or say, I'll do it. I'll cross world wonders for you, oceans, vegetation, deserts, anything"
"I don't think you can do that, Pedri" You were at the verge of tears "I was hurt by every action and word you said, I reached the top and while I know you messed up, you could've prevented it and simply start acting like you should have but you didn't. And I can't handle that"
"Please" You said after a few minutes "I think it's time for you to go" You said walking away
He couldn't watch you walk away once more so he did what he had been wanting to do. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him, in a hug.
"No"
"Let me go"
"No"
"Let me go"
"No" His grip got tighter on you as you were fighting and at the same time, enjoying being in your exlover's arms again.
His arms were your safe space and laying your head on his chest brought you peace but now all it brought back was hurt and pain.
Hurt and pain from the situation you were going through
"Pedro, please, let me go"
"I don't want you to leave me"
"I didn't left because I wanted to" Silence flowed in between the two of you as Pedri was crying into your neck "I did because you asked me to, you made me leave, you pushed me away when all I wanted and needed was you, to stay by your side and defend our relationship" You took a breath "None of that happened and now that I'm recovering from everything, I want you to leave, I want you to go away because I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me and just throws everything out of the window without listening first" You said with closed eyes and tears running down, he chocked on a sob
"I'm sorry" He cried "For everything. I should have done a lot of things and one of them was trust you, fight for you and our love but I'm here trying to fix it, to fix us, you were giving me your everything while I wasn't and now it's my turn to pay it back until we're all good. Please, I beg you, give me just one more chance to make everything right"
You looked into his eyes as he looked into yours "Please" He whispered with tears falling down his cheeks
You were going to hate yourself so much for this but you can't lie to yourself and say you didn't want, need or love him because you did with all of your body. You were aching for him, for his kisses, for his cuddles, for his warmth, his laugh, his bad jokes, his company and love. You needed him. You wanted him. You loved him. He was the one for you.
"Please" You said shaking your head "Don't you ever do that again to me" You whispered "'Cus this is your last chance, González. I don't care if I'm dying for you, if you do it one more time, you can swear to all of your ancestors I will not take you back" Pedro's face changed to one of relief and he pulled you into his hold tightly this time tears of happiness coming out of his eyes.
"Te amo, I always will" He said crying, kissing your neck, ear, cheek, nose "Thank you so much for this opportunity, I'm very sorry, amor" He said resting his forehead against yours "You'll not regret this, I promise"
"I better not be" You smiled softly "But don't get too ahead of yourself, Pedrito. You need to work for everything back"
"I'll do. I don't care, I charmed you once, I can do it twice" You smiled softly "I missed you so much" He said hugging you once more, his face rested inside your neck as you finally felt at peace, breathing properly and safely in your lover's arms.
You were about to reply when two knocks came in and then someone entered
"Y/N, cariño. We are going to be late for the trip, weren't you so excited to see Venice's bea-Oh! Am I interrupting something?" You pulled away from Pedri shaking your head
"Para nada, Mason" (Not at all) You smiled softly drying your tears "We're good"
Mason, the guy, turned around to look at Pedri and then to you as you softly nod locking hands with Pedri
"Pedro, this is my friend, Mason. Mase, this is Pedri"
"The asshole?"
"¡Ostias!" (F*ck!)
"You were pretty much an asshole" You defended Mason with a soft smile "We can't lie" You shrug your shoulders "What's up?"
"Venice's beaches. Coming?" You nod softly
"We'll be there in a little while" You smiled
"Great!" Mason smiled "Also Pedro..." Pedri's big brown eyes went to Mason's "Hurt her again and I'll make sure you'll never be able to play football again for what's rest of your life"
"I won't"
"You better" Mason said "If I was straight I would've gone straight away after her to get her" You laughed softly
"He got your point, Mase. Give us a few minutes, we'll be downstairs quickly" You said and once the door was closed you smashed yourself against Pedri's lips "Te quiero" You said "A lot" You smiled "Please, don't let me go"
"Never again"
And with his heart full, he felt as if the stars had alligned just for him, you were his angel and he'll take good care of you now. He lefthe left the hotel. All the luck his friend wished for you and all the praying he did, were enough. His world is and will not be the same without your presence, your kindness, your laughter, your smile and your love in it, he hated himself for what he had done but thank God you give him another chance. This time, he was surely not going to lose you this time.
°°° °°° °°° °°°
Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela @pedrileclerc @shineforeversf9 @shessthunderstoms @f4iryjjosh @judespoision @notsosurehritika @jajajhaahaha @urmotheris
#gadriezmannsgirl replies#gadriezmannsgirl is writing#pedri#pedri gonzález#fc barcelona#pedri angst#pedri gonzález icons#pedri incons#Football players imagines#pedri x reader#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri gonzalez imagine
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"Are you okay?"
No don't touch me.
Don't touch me. Don't speak to me. Don't be near me. I am way too emotionally sensitive right now. I am trying in all the hardest ways possible to hold onto myself to keep my senses awake to not close them off to not shut down because I am absolutely either feeling everything or just nothing. Even in this moment? I am pushing you away and yet I want to pull you close I want to talk and yet at the same time I don't want, what kind of strange paradox am I?
I am raging back and forth between I want to be with you to you deserve someone who isn't me. Because I absolutely hate the way I am and the way I was and what I did to you and everyone else. I am twenty one. I should know how to regulate my emotions. That's what you said. And you're right. You're absolutely right. I should have known better. But I'm trying I'm trying FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M TRYING. I am trying not to be a bother to anyone not to be the problem to anyone not to be the one who hurts everyone anymore. And I learn and learn and ask for forgiveness saying that I'll change I'll be better yet somehow THE GHOST OF MY FATHER HIS BLOOD IN MY VEINS COMES BACK AND HAUNTS ME THE MORE I FIND MYSELF DOING THINGS I NEVER WANTED TO AND APOLOGIZING BUT THEY ALWAYS FEELING LIKE I NEVER MEAN IT THE WAY MY FATHER NEVER MEANT IT.
But I mean it. I do....
I am trying to be kind to myself trying to accept myself trying trying trying yet all of it comes back to haunt me when everytime you flinch you turn away with your back on me remembering the hurt I gave you and I realise that I did this to you. I who claimed to love you did this to you and you lost a part of yourself because of me. And the fact I did that? Throws out all the acceptance I have for myself out of the window. Because I never imagined myself to do the hurting to others. I look at you and I look at him and I look at them, they would have never done it if they were me but I did. And I hate myself even more for that. I hate myself for being so pathetically human.
I never really realised I am a bad person until I met someone like you. Someone good. So forgive me if I put on a facade and try to show only the best and perfect bits of myself because that's what I am always surrounded with. Forgive me for being dumb and stupid but I'm really trying not to be. Forgive me if I am always harsh with myself and always holding back myself smiling and pretending everything is fine because I want to keep you. I want to be with you even if sometimes I am falling apart. Even when I get haunted by my past that I am still struggling to accept. Even when I see myself becoming what I never wanted to be and regretting not being what I'm supposed to be. I can't fill my own cup on my own but yours? I'll fill it to the brim. Maybe I'm the kind of lover who'll absolutely completely drain myself to keep you happy to be with you. The kind I'd go lengths to please.
Because honestly? I don't fucking know how to please myself. I don't fucking know how to go to lengths for myself. I tell myself I'll love me. And the second moment I'm absolutely disgusted by my entire being. I have only learnt how to please others but never myself. Only learnt how to care for others but never myself. So forgive me if I don't hold myself in high regard if I fail at one task I was supposed to be absolutely good at.
Even this outburst? Scares me. Scares me because I am so weak and vulnerable right now. I am absolutely breaking but I am scared that everything I say will be misinterpreted if I don't explain myself enough. AND I HATE BEING MISUNDERSTOOD. I AM NEVER OKAY WITH IT. SO PARDON ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT OH HOW MUCH I REGRET MY LIFE CHOICES MY DECISIONS MY GUILT MY MISTAKES. HOW MUCH I HATE MYSELF. BUT HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
How much I love you...
And that's why this will never reach to you. That's why you'll never know me because I am always masking a rotten piece of myself. Always hiding away. Because this isn't pretty love. None of me is pretty. Pretty as you. Pretty as her.
None of it my love. And I always wanna be pretty. Pretty for you pretty for everyone. Because nobody likes ugly. Whether it's a face. Or personality.
So pardon me when I break down in your absence and bloom everytime you come back.
You're the only thing that makes me, worth me.
#poetry#writing#literature#quotes#spilled ink#lit#quoted#vent post#aesthetic#art#dark academia#rant post#og post#og
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On why I think the "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" note was meant literally
I've had this in my drafts for a while after seeing a poll that elicited a little discussion on the topic. I know this is the fandom's majority take on the subject so I'll probably be preaching to the choir, but there (rightly) is discussion about it nonetheless so I felt like giving my arguments.
I'll put it under a read-more just in case people missed the warning in the tags. Considering the topic, naturally, here's a warning for discussion of suicide. Please take care of yourself!
The thing is that Justice For All is very, very ambiguous on that. It does what Ace Attorney is really good at doing - brushing a serious topic then waffling on it until it really doesn't say anything about it, giving itself the benefit of doubt but never making a statement. Both Phoenix and Franziska's dialogue strongly hint that they have a certainty that Edgeworth is still alive, and they're proven right. The narrative doesn't try really hard to sell us the idea that Edgeworth died - Edgeworth is even on the game's box art. I've watched a few JFA walkthroughs hunting for people's reaction to all the Edgeworth talk and his apparent death, and nobody really seems to buy it - either going through great confusion or immediately going like "oh he can't be dead there's no way - he's so coming back."
However. However. It's just impossible to ignore all the subtext that points at the note being real.
The game textually sets up Adrian Andrews as a foil to Franziska. In the parallel Edgeworth draws, Celeste is supposed to represent Manfred - a mentor she admired and whose guidance she lost. But it was a deliberate choice from the writers to have Celeste die by suicide. In the same game that spent a whole game-wide subplot on slowly revealing Edgeworth's apparent death by the exact same means. Edgeworth is the one who gives Phoenix the information about Adrian and Celeste's backstory. And Franziska revealed to us she wasn't seeking revenge for her father, but for her "little brother" - in the parallel between her and Adrian Andrews' stories, it's easy to see Celeste paralleling Edgeworth, not Manfred.
And in fact Adrian is also a clear parallel to Edgeworth himself. He, too, lost the guidance of his mentor and was left questioning everything. In the infamous scene where he interrogates her in the first phase of the trial, he even puts his own words in her mouth.
If you're going to say you would "choose death", that is of no concern to me.
If you consider Rise from the Ashes, Edgeworth's dialogue leaves even less room for doubt regarding his mental state. Compilation:
Edgeworth: Hmph. Some people need very little excuse to think ill of others. It's a fact of life. Impossible to stop. Some of them even go so far as to present me with toys like this… They think it's funny. (Referring to the award he was just given)
Edgeworth: Why, I ask you? Why!? All along, I've done only what I believe is right. I have nothing to be ashamed of! But still... Phoenix: (Wow, I've never seen him this out of sorts...)
Edgeworth: Hmph. I've had to live the past two years with rumors flying around. What's another allegation to me? Ema: Cheer up, Mr. Edgeworth! I'm rooting for you! Phoenix: (That's Edgeworth for you... Always trying to hide his real feelings.)
Edgeworth: There's no excuse for what I've done. Two years ago, I used false evidence to obtain a guilty verdict. That's what it all breaks down to, and nothing I do can erase that fact.
Edgeworth: I'm tired, Mr. Wright. I feel as if… something inside me has died. [...] I know the path I've walked. You don't need to tell me. And the path I've walked... hasn't been a just one. I can't forgive myself for what I've done... and no one else should forgive me either. Phoenix: (Uh oh. I think he's serious!)
Edgeworth: ... It's too late for me. No matter what anyone may say, I realized today that I can't change my own mistakes! Not only that, but I don't even trust myself anymore. Chief Gant was right...
And of course:
Edgeworth: If you'll excuse me… there are still some loose ends that need wrapping up. Take care, Chief Prosecutor. Phoenix: Edgeworth! What will you do now? Edgeworth: ... Phoenix: Well, whatever you do, just remember. What happened in this trial can either make or break you as a prosecutor. In the end, it's up to you. Edgeworth: I know... It seems I owe you my thanks too, Wright. But what I face now... is my problem. Phoenix: Edgeworth... I'll be waiting for you in court. Edgeworth:... Farewell.
I've pulled all my quotes from the wiki, which I believe takes the DS version, but the retranslation of the port makes things even more blatant. Instead of "either make or break you as a prosecutor," the line was retranslated as "You can let what happened kill the prosecutor in you, or you can let it help you grow."
I don't know how much more literal you can get.
Of course, none of this dialogue strictly refers to anything but a professional crisis for Edgeworth. But it is a true crisis, one he takes very deeply and personally - it is his entire moral system that is crumbling down. And the phrasing of some of those lines is downright chilling. "I can't forgive myself, and nobody should do it either" "I feel like something inside me has died" "It's too late for me" or even those ominous "loose ends"... Whatever his final conclusion, he is not doing well. That's one thing RftA makes abundantly clear.
But then why are Phoenix and Franziska so angry, you'll ask me? Grief, of course. Why is Franziska adamant he still lives? Grief, of course - specifically denial. Why does Gumshoe know Edgeworth still lives? Several options. Edgeworth contacted him knowing he'd need someone to help him come back once he decided to come back, or Gumshoe is the one that prevented his note from turning literal, or Edgeworth contacted him at some other point for another reason - it could have happened at any point in his little mental health gap year.
It just makes much more sense to me than the alternative. Why leave a note saying he "chooses death" so unambiguously only to rely on a play on words? He was shown writing a perfectly good resignation letter right before that - the note was meant to be one step further from resignation. And why leave his loved ones in the dark, mourning him, for one entire year if he just deliberately left for soul-searching purposes? The man is obtuse when it comes to feelings, and honestly I could see him pulling this, but... not in conjunction with everything else.
And his arc just makes it make so much sense as well. Depression is often a comorbidity of PTSD, which Edgeworth has, as close to canonically as possible without it being spelled out. He is in an extremely fragile place psychologically - two months earlier his trial dragged him across the coals emotionally, his traumatic past revisited and revealed in an extremely public way. His quest for "perfection" was shattered not just through the losses he suffered at Phoenix's hand but through the sudden, deep and complete betrayal of the man who taught it to him. He only had one moral high ground left - the fact that he never knowingly forged evidence - only for that to be ripped away from him too. Of course he could be nothing less than unstable.
So anyway I don't have any fancy conclusion but yeah I can't imagine "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" wasn't meant literally. Even though I'm pretty sure that wasn't the authorial intent, I think it must have been somewhere in the works anyway, otherwise there wouldn't be so many hints to it.
#Ace Attorney#Miles Edgeworth#cw: suicide#Aza talks too much#Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death#cleaning my drafts a little today
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𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — lyrics sentence starters.
A collection of sentence starters from some singles released, minus anything featured in Tantrums ( the meme featuring those is here ). Do not add to or steal this meme. Feel free to change pronouns, edits phrasing, or generally slightly edit or combine lines as needed. Some lines have already been slightly rephrased for rp purposes. tw: cheating, toxic relationships, suggestive
MONSTER
i hold your mistakes high over your head, especially when they look like mine.
i'm not one to hand out forgiveness.
it pains me to admit you were right.
someday i will be someone you resent.
honey, the pleasure is all mine.
i heard you're calling me a traitor.
i owe you a good apology, i'll do it later.
i paint myself the good guy.
i heard you're calling me a monster.
after all the shit i pulled, you could do better.
i'll do what i want over what's right.
you gave me your all.
it was intimate.
i guess it ain't your fault that i can't commit.
i never listen.
i couldn't help but feel so indifferent.
all my failures are visceral.
i still taste blood from years ago.
you ain't good enough.
i can't even be honest with myself.
how could you believe i'd do that for someone else?
i don't want that life.
i'm kissing boys in the back of their cars.
it's half past 3.
you were fast asleep while i was on the phone with [ Jodie ].
will i ever know why i am like this?
i go for what i can't have, like i'm righteous.
i can't face the shame.
if you wanna place blame, just say my name.
i go home alone and i think it's strange.
i got what i want but it don't taste the same.
everyone who's ever loved me is the enemy.
i get high on all the jealousy.
you can't forgive the infidelity.
i don't wanna be someone who lives like that.
i was supposed to be a good friend, trusted.
i snuck around with the love of your life.
after all the shit i pulled, you should do better.
HOMEWRECKING ERA
wrap your thighs around me.
i could keep all your secrets.
cross my heart and hope i mean it.
think of all the damage i could do.
say less.
push me on the counter.
call me princess.
wish i could say no, but it's hopeless.
i'm losing focus.
i wonder if [ she ] knows about those pictures on your phone.
you should feel guilty, but you don't.
i'm in my homewrecking era.
got things i wanna do to you.
i feel bad for a minute.
you make me feel so good.
i taste something bitter in my mouth.
i left my bralette on the ground.
i can't help myself.
nobody fucks like me.
i'm the [ girl ] of your dirty dreams
the silence is deafening.
do you miss me?
i think [ she ] can taste me.
i can give you what you want.
we called it love.
we might've fucked it up.
baby, just fuck me up.
i'm the flame that keeps you warm at night.
don't i bring out the green in her eyes?
you like how pretty [ she ] is when [ she ] cries.
[ she ] loves you so much, even the lies.
we're both the one, but never the only.
you get so lonely
crown me the villain and hero tonight.
fucking me brought you together so nice.
i got a taste for the drama.
i spilled your guts 'cause i wanted.
look at all this damage that i do.
BETTER KIND OF BEST FRIEND
i can see [ her ] in my dreams.
i see [ her ] in my bed.
[ she's ] the goddamn vision that ringin' in my head.
i'm waitin', patient.
we could be good together.
let me release the pressure.
i think i found my treasure.
[ she ] tastes like heaven and she knows it.
i'm eager.
i just wanna please you.
she's got me prayin'.
i could be a better kind of best friend.
i'm a fan.
i don't die for my [ women ] anymore.
i'll do anything to have you.
i swear to be true.
i don't die for my [ women ] anymore, i kill for them.
you don't need to ask, you got my permission.
lord knows we tried.
can't stay away from each other.
you know i'm a sucker.
watch as i swallow my pride.
i wanna make it intimate.
i've got my finger on the trigger.
they come and go.
YOU DON'T WANT ME LIKE THAT ( also by Rachel Bochner )
if you hated me it'd be easier.
i know what's coming is really gonna hurt.
if i hated you, i would've never tried.
it's a habit you conditioned.
i wonder if you know you're bad.
i wanna tell you that i miss you.
you wouldn't say it back.
you don't want me like that.
you don't want a picture of me sitting on your nightstand.
you don't wanna touch me in the way we both know you can.
you just like the way i feel stuck in the palm of your hand.
where do you get off on it?
i do the extra credit but you're never satisfied.
i keep you center stage.
you keep me on the side.
i'm crossing all the lines.
you won't call it what it is.
you just call me when you're blue.
the fantasy is cute.
i would give you all i have.
i stay up waiting for you.
i can't keep waiting.
BABYBLUE
baby blue was always your color.
it's a little strange how we're seeing each other.
god, you look just as i remembered.
it's been a few years.
i've known you forever.
you packed your bags and moved to [ Boston. ]
you needed a place that you could get lost in.
time will tell.
you got my youth on your bedpost.
say it ain't so.
our picture's getting dusty.
you smell vanilla and don't think about me.
i hope it's alright, your life without me.
you ran to my house in the pouring rain.
i've cried every damn day since you left.
i don't mind if i never get over it.
i've been watching reruns.
i should call my little sister, i worry about her all the time.
you hold other hands.
i'm biting my tongue.
you're making new plans.
i'm coming undone.
i watch your old films.
looking at it now, i think i love you still.
i try to be cool.
if i never say a word, does it make it less true?
i feel the time go.
i fear the unknown.
it's getting so old.
all of my anxieties are filling up my diaries.
the water ran cold.
there's so much i don't know.
i think i gotta go.
you see green and don't think about me.
BAD BANDIT
i've been lonely for awhile now.
i'm tired of this ghost town.
[ she ] looks pretty on [ her ] poster.
i'm thinking i could hold [ her ].
i want you on my body.
won't you face it?
you wanna make or break it.
you wanna feel me naked.
i'll show you how to take it.
count your blessings when the devil ain't got nowhere to go.
maybe i'm bratty.
i taught that [ man ] a lesson.
[ he ] was charming and i loved [ him ].
[ his ] urges were disgusting.
i bed [ him ] down to nothing.
that little [ lady ] wanted love.
it's such a damn shame.
you better run, babe.
[ she's ] taking aim.
[ she ] promised me [ her ] best.
i could see forever in [ her ] golden eyes.
my baby told me lies.
i swear i'm gonna die.
but i ain't the one biting the dust tonight.
i swear i'm gonna miss [ her ] for the rest of my days.
i still hear [ her ] voice.
BET YOU'LL GET OFF ON THIS
maybe in another year you might be different.
i'd rather not admit how many years i've been insisting.
you showed me your true colors.
you used to be the prettiest thing i'd ever seen.
what you said to me last sunday was disgusting.
i don't need to look at you to know you feel nothing.
you feel nothing.
maybe you like it better when i'm cool.
i don't give a shit.
did you really have to be so cruel?
all i ever did was try to love you.
i don't know who you are.
i saw the façade slip, and it was alarming.
i'm left with confusion.
how did you not ever learn to be human?
what did i expect?
you never grew up.
you think you're so deep, but you're so out of touch.
[ Natalie ] was right when [ she ] said that you were heartless.
i don't ever want you to touch me again.
i really can't stand the way you talk about your [ girlfriend ].
bet it hurts to know i'm no longer your forever.
i won't hold my breath, but i hope you get better.
i don't wanna belittle my love.
all we ever did was try to love you.
#rp meme#rp prompts#roleplay meme#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#cheating tw#toxic tw#suggestive#queue
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Izzy Hands x reader
You and Izzy come up with a pact. The two are equally matched and decide on a system when they spar. Whoever wins gets to ask a question which the loser must answer. Which after a while turns into a getting to know you.
Word count: 2740
Warnings: violence. mentions of blood and death but nothing explicit.
I stretch out my limbs before drawing my sword slowly moving through a bunch of exercises my uncle taught me. Gradually gaining speed and momentum falling into a familiar routine and loosing myself in the movement. The moonlight glints of my blade as I move a soft breeze rustling the loose strands of my hair. I swivel once more thrusting forward jumping backwords when I find Izzy stood their arms crossed “Fucking hell, give me a heart attack.”
Standing straight I lower my sword to my side. “You’re up late.” I sigh shrugging “Forgive me for wishing to practice.” His lips twitch slightly before settling back into his usual stony expression “Not bad for someone on this ship.” I roll my eyes slightly “Is that a compliment or an insult? I never can tell with you.”
Spinning my sword twice I lower it to my side “It was a compliment.” I look at him shocked, he rolls his eyes “You are skilled with the blade.” I grin crossing my arms “I’m sensing a but?” he shrugs slightly, and I chuckle “You think you’re better than everyone don’t you?”
“I don’t think. I know. Where did you learn?” I sigh “My uncle. What about you?”
“Navy and practice.”
“Navy!?” he chuckles “You’re going to have to tell me more about your backstory if you want mine.” I grin “Alright. We fight, winner gets to ask a question which the loser much answer.” He ponders this a moment before nodding and drawing his sword “Suppose I could do with the practice.” We circle around for a minute before I make the first move lunging forward which he blocks easily. I know he is a skilled swordsman having seen him on raids, but my uncle was a dedicated teacher and I loved every second of learning how to use a blade.
A small smile appears on Izzy’s face as we both fall into a lethal dance moving fluidly around the deck blades clashing. We are evenly matched with slightly different styles; I am the first to make a mistake his blade stopping a hairs width from my throat “How long have you been a pirate?” I grin “Eight years.” We pull apart taking a moment before starting again, I am slowly learning his moves memorising the way he holds his weight, the side he favours.
Finally, I get past his defences trapping his sword at his side with mine to his chest “How long where you in the navy?” “I joined at 12 left at 21 been a pirate ever since.”
We both lower our blades and I bow my head slightly grinning “Good night, Izzy.” I leave him on the deck and make my way to my small cabin, it was an unused storage room that I converted into a bedroom. It is just big enough for a bed and small chest the bed also lifts up which is where I store my very limited wardrobe.
Every evening for the next two weeks we meet on the deck and spar it’s getting harder to beat each other as we learn each other’s style and strengths. As well as slowly sharing parts of our history and personal lives. I learn his favourite colour is blue, the ring around his scarf originally belonged to his mother who passed away, he has served under Blackbeard pretty much since he left the navy, he can sing but does so very rarely and the swallow on his neck was the first tattoo he got like many sailors after sailing 5,000 nautical miles. I have a similar one on my ankle.
Although we continue with our sparring sessions both enjoying them immensely no one else on the crew offering as much as a challenge, we also start just sitting and talking about our days or members of the crew recounting stories of our past adventures and raids. Slowly his hard exterior starts to crack I find myself looking forward to our evenings together, I cherish the times I get him to smile and the rare occasions he actually laughs. He’s handsome and some evenings after he has washed, he leaves his hair loose fluffy around his ears all I want to do is run my fingers through it, but I refrain. Though over the weeks I find we sit closer to each other commonly knocking arms or legs. We now also have a new system of a question for a question.
Several weeks later I am helping Lucius and Fang with fixing one of the sails that was damaged in the last storm or rather I do most of the work up in the rigging while they help by staying out the way and handing me rope. Bracing myself on one of the beams I flip myself over and hang upside down so I can reach the final pieces knotting them into place “What the fuck are you doing?” I grin and cross my arms mirroring Izzy’s stance as best to my ability with my feet hooked around a wooden beam “Pretending I’m a fruit bat.”
I can hear the others sniggering as I chuckle a tiny hint of a smile appearing on his face “I’m fixing the sail.” He rolls his eyes and takes a step back walking away without a word, I pull myself up before unhooking my feet and dropping to the ground glancing over at Izzy who is glaring in my direction. I can never work that man out.
Lucius chuckles leaning back against the railing “Thought Iz was going to blow a fuse.” I shrug and stretch out my arms Buttons wandering over wide eyed “Is that ya bird?” I follow his line of sight a familiar peregrine falcon coming into view. “Astra.” She caws circling around the boat before landing on the railing next to Lucius who quickly moves out the way “I hate birds.” I roll my eyes stroking her feathers removing the small scroll tied around her leg “How you manage to find me every time without fail is still a mystery to me.”
Buttons grins broadly “Ay magnificent creatures.” Izzy wanders over Lucius making himself scarce “Who’s that?” I roll my eyes at the grumpy pirate “Astra, she is delivering a message from my brother, Bay.” I grin “Now you owe me an answer.” He rolls his eyes, but I decide on my question “How many tattoos do you have?”
“Seven.”
Smiling I make my way to the bow of the ship Astra hopping along next to me, I lean over the railing unravelling the letter. My brothers writing is cramped onto the page a mixture of languages, his thinking being no one would be bothered to translate it if it got intercepted.
I hope this letter finds you well, Astra brought news of your recent adventures. Your new crew certainly does sound colourful. Mother sends her love as does Lu she keeps pestering me for updates I wish I could tell her you were coming home. We are doing well. I am helping Uncle with his practice and mother is loving being a seamstress. If I ever meet this Bonnet, I will thank him warmly for his kindness and his financing. You certainly mention this Izzy a lot, should I be worried?. We miss you greatly, don’t worry we are safe from HIM and last we heard he was drinking himself into a stupor perhaps you will be able to return to us soon. I sure hope so I have so much I want to tell you, but Astra can only carry so much, and Lu has taken the reverse for herself.
I love you. Mama wishes you were here, and Lu is almost as tall as her.
Bay
I smile at the letter gods I miss my family. My brother and I were inseparable growing up and both fiercely protective of our baby sister. I always felt responsible for them both being the eldest and everyone knew not to mess with them though our father may have been the may cause of that. Every penny I get paid goes to them, every time we go to shore, I send it to a trusted friend who forwards it to my brother. It was a system we decided safe and secure. I sigh stroking Astras head gently and flip the page over smiling at the writing so much tidier than my brothers.
Y/N, I miss you. It’s not fair that you have to be away Mama says you are taking care of us, and Uncle says you’re very brave. I just want you to come home, I love Bay, but you are so much better at listening. Cici and I are home for summer all our friends are very impressed that my big sibling is a pirate. We have some very important questions that need answering. Do pirates really have parrots? Does your ship have a plank? Does it get used? Please come see us soon, Lucy (and Cici) xxx
I chuckle at my sisters’ questions and tuck the letter safely into my chest pocket leaning out over the railing. Cici is our cousin, both of them attending a finishing school in their final year. Our aunty and uncle where gracious enough to take my family in after the incident keeping them safe but I still help with finances the school itself is by no means cheap.
“I will write you a reply for tomorrow. Rest.” She takes off landing on the crow’s nest while I fiddle with the ring tucked under my shirt “Good news from your family I hope?” I practically jump out my skin when Stede appears at my side “Yes, thank you.” Stede despite his quirks has been my favourite Captain out of the four I’ve served under and although his inexperience is trying at times, he is learning Ed’s years of pirating certainly helping.
“I’m sorry you cannot be with them.” I smile slightly “Thank you.” he nods “If there is anything I can do?” I shake my head “There is nothing but thank you.” he walks away someone else replacing him Izzy hovers by my elbow bouncing on his feet slightly “You never speak of your family.” I smile slightly “You never ask.” He shrugs “Are they well?” I take out the letter “My sister wishes to know if pirates really have parrots and if we have a plank.”
Izzy huffs which I think is a laugh “How old is she?” I sigh “Let’s see she is in her last year of finishing school so 20 Cici our cousin is 21. Bay will shortly be turning 28 and I am not going to admit to my own age.” Izzy huffs again “I stopped counting at 40. Didn’t think I was going to get this far.” I laugh “Its alright I won’t pry. Always preferred older men anyway.” Grinning I walk away to ask Stede for some paper.
Izzy P/O/V:
I shouldn’t over think things. Shouldn’t focus on their words. But all I can think about is what they said. They always preferred older men. What does that mean? They can’t possibly be attracted to me. Can they? I turn leaning back watching Y/N walk away, over the past few weeks they have become… what have they become. A friend definitely, more possibly. I don’t hate the way the look the complete opposite in fact, they are one of the only members of the crew I don’t want to throttle on a daily basis.
Fuck. When did this happen? Fuck, fuck, fuck. “You alright Iz? Your face looks well not sour for a start.” Ed walks over chuckling, I fix my expression to neutral “Fuck off.” He grins holding up his hands “Just asking. Are you perhaps thinking about a certain h/c pirate with pretty e/c eyes?” I glare at him while he laughs punching my shoulder “Just messing with ya. We’re coming up on a ship come on.”
The rest of the crew have already gathered Y/N among them a sword at their waste and daggers on their thighs and one at the small of their back. Good, they can protect themselves. The ship we are approaching is only slightly bigger than our own a merchant ship French by the looks of it but possibly Italian.
The raid itself like all the others passes in a blur of steel, blood and screaming. We leave most of the crew alive though none of them escape unscathed. The ship itself holds barrels of wine, fruit, sugar, a fair amount of jewellery. I help haul things over to our ship while Y/N, Jim and Ed tie up the remaining crew members around the mast and various railings throwing anything we don’t want overboard.
A large girlish shriek comes from behind that must belong too Lucius, turning around I find a member of the captured crew holding a knife to his throat. Before anything can escalate, he grunts and turns a knife in his side, Y/N grins plunging their sword through the man’s chest something in my own chest fluttering, while Lucius collapses to the ground in a heap. They lean down taking back their dagger and I notice a slight wince as the adjust their jacket and make a note to question them later.
Stede is beaming as we make our way back onto the Revenge congratulating the crew on their hard work. I get caught up in keeping the crew in check while Y/N is sent to help tidy provisions. It isn’t till late evening when I find them leaning up against one of the railings legs stretched out in front of them “Hey Iz.”
“How’s your side?” they smile warmly “Took a hit to the ribs, nothings broken or bleeding. How did you know?” I shrug slightly not wanting to admit I was watching them the majority of the raid rather than concentrating “Lucky guess.” I sit at their side propping an arm on my knee “Did you get the reply sent?”
“Yes. Now I shared several pieces of information. You owe me some answers. One, what are your tattoos? Two, if you weren’t a pirate what would you want to be?” I chuckle “I have the three you can see, a second sparrow, a nautical star, a compass and a bunch of roses they were my mothers’ favourite.” I pause pondering their second question. I’ve been a pirate practically my whole life “I enjoy singing perhaps something like that.”
Chuckling they take the bottle of rum that I offer drinking deeply “I really like your eyes.”
“What!?” they grin taking another gulp before handing the bottle back “I’ve never really found a time to tell you. I really like your eyes and your smile.” I take a large swig from the bottle hoping for a confidence boost “I really like spending time with you.” I put the bottle down leaning closer “What is your honest opinion of me?” they grin “I really fucking like you.” I smirk warmth bubbling up “Really?” they nod leaning in close “Are you kidding? I love your company, your personality, and your looks ain’t a negative.”
I chuckle slightly in response unsure of the feelings currently erupting in my chest they meet my gaze grinning “Do you want to kiss me?”
Your P/O/V:
Izzy blinks in shock “What?” I grin leaning in closer “Do you want to kiss me?” I tilt my head slightly. “‘Cause I really want to kiss you.” he doesn’t move so I lean in slowly giving him every opportunity to move away. Our lips barely brush but heat rushes through my body I go to pull away when Izzy surges forward lips crashing into my own.
I bring a hand up burying my fingers in his hair one of his resting gently on my thigh. The need for air forces us apart. Both of us are flushed and breathing deeply my heart beating erratically. Izzy leans in again softer this time hand moving up to cup my cheek “You’re stunning.” I grin and shift, so I am fully facing him wincing with the movement. His brow creases slightly thumb brushing over my cheek “You should rest.”
“I’m fine.” He chuckles and stands helping me to my feet lips meeting mine once again “As your superior I order you too rest.” I smile before sighing dramatically “Well I suppose I shouldn’t ignore a direct order.”
#izzy hands x reader#izzy x reader#izzy hands#ofmd#ofmd x reader#x y/n#x reader#pirates#israel hands
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So... Plot twist
Hi everyone, is Emily/em/Sparks9397, make yourselves a snack this one’s long.
I have a lot I'd like to say, but think a good place to start would be that yes, I’m very sorry for how this played out and for what I did, though, the pics were about as far as the lie went, guess doesn’t matter either way but yes, I am a lawyer, yes I live in Australia, yes that’s my dog, yes I have a boyfriend, etc.
Honestly, I'm not mad at the anon in fact I was kinda expecting it? (someone was bound to get that’s not my pic), but you did caught me off guard last night and I panicked cause I thought better disappear and leave no trace behind, they all hate you anyways (you guys have been way too nice and fic gate is kinda funny), but I do like to twist the knife and did go back to it in the morning to check how badly i'd fucked up, is why i'm sending this.
if you want me to explain myself, well I was in a bad bad place last year when I started writing, the writing really help me through lots of stuff and for personal reasons i thought it was better not to add my pic, stupid me thought it was a good idea to share another person’s photo, who kinda looks like me if you want to believe that or not, but seems way happier, more stylish, more fun, etc and well you know how that ended...
Was it necessary to keep posting more pics that weren’t mine, no obv not, yet believe it or not somehow in the past year my life got way better and I made it out of that dark place and was excited to share more of my life, my mistake to not just come clean instead of keep pretending I was someone else.
Anyways, I could keep going with the apology but I don’t think it matters very much now, does it?
So I’ll just use this time to say I'm realy really sorry Meike @paramorewillbelegends and I’m really so so sorry Reese @dnd21, you both were really good friends to me and I'm so grateful to you both for being there for me when I had no one to talk to, sorry I couldn’t reciprocate and be a better friend to you.
Ps. A03 was more leveled headed than myself during this time and though I deleted everything and didn’t have backup they sent me a copy of everything which I can repost if that’s what you want, but yeahh guess that's it for me, and thanks to Ash if you end up posting this (no pressure).
i think your apology matters. you've obviously seen what i've said about what you did so i won't say anything more, but if you mean this then it's something people can forgive you for and move past.
i think it's better to do this than to do something drastic. as you can see, no one hates you, even any of us that may have sounded quite harsh, that's not hatred either. anyway, i appreciate that you sent this and i'm sure everyone else will appreciate it, especially your friends, so i'll post it because i think it's important and you didn't have to send it at all but you did, so again, i think it'll be very appreciated.
also you do whatever you feel is right with the fics. a lot of people may still want them but ultimately it's up to you and if you feel comfortable doing so.
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Empty Promises (…. on the phone)
this is absolute filth and i have no excuse.
pairing: afab!reader/Elvis (actual!Elvis in my mind but since he’s on the phone and it’s from your perspective there’s not really any physical description of him so could be austin!elvis)
summary: Elvis has been away for a few nights but he’s left you a task to do while he’s gone. Tonight he calls and talks you through it. (for lack of a better expression; you’re trying to ‘train your tight pussy’ to be able to take the three fingers+ that you couldn’t in Empty Promises)
warnings: 18+, gratuitous use of daddy/pet names, fingering, phone sex, masturbation. kinda innocent!reader. Discussion of ‘getting you ready to be a woman’. very limited editing on this one so pls forgive any mistakes.
wc: 2.7k
“Hiya, Daddy.” You’re on your bed, ankles crossed waving in the air as you flick through a magazine on your tummy, you’d reached across to pick up the phone as it rang, having brought it onto the bed in preparation for his call. Waiting all evening just for him to ring, you’d gotten ready for bed now - in a little nightgown and a peignoir. You hear him chuckle down the line,
“How’d you know it was me baby girl? You just calling everyone who calls daddy now?” You giggle back at him,
“No silly, you said you’d call! I’ve been waiting for you.” He hums back to you, a laugh in his voice;
“Well that’s alright then doll.” You roll over onto your back, twirling the cord around your finger. “Have you been a good little girl? A good baby?” You squirm,
“Of course!” You’re affronted he even feels the need to ask. “Done everything you said.” You can hear his smile,
“Everything, darling?” His voice has deepened slightly and it goes straight to your lower stomach. Like butterflies starting to form.
“Mmhmm, every night. Just like you said. But….” You pause, you find yourself faltering, finding it difficult to describe what you want to; still embarrassed to say such things out loud. He waits a moment before he impatiently asks,
“But what?” You make a little noise down the line, half a groan and half a moan. He repeats himself, “But what sweetheart?” You still don’t respond and he attempts to coax it out of you in that baby voice he uses when he really wants something, “C’mon, tell daddy, baby.” You huff,
“I… can’t finish. I did the first night but I just, I keep getting so close and I can’t get myself there.”
“Oh, my darling!” He can’t help but laugh, “That wasn’t the whole point of this my love,” You huff, “but that must be tough, Daddy’ll be home soon. I’ll sort you out proper, soon as I’m in the house.” You sigh back at him,
“When will you be home?” You were getting bored without him and without anything to do with all of the boys with him.
“Day after tomorrow, baby. You know that. Boy, I can’t wait, it’s been far too long without my yittle in my arms.” You preen at his words, glad that he was admitting to miss you as much as you’d missed him.
“I can’t wait!” You hear someone talking to him in the background and you frown, you’ve not been able to talk to him in days - they’ve been on the road and moving around and busy while you were waiting for them to return - and now he’s being distracted when you do have him. You wait though, until you can hear him faintly calling out goodbyes, to say anything. “Who was that?”
“Jealous sweetheart?”
“Should I be?” You ask coyly,
“Of Joe? Never.” You laugh back at him, “Naw baby, they were just tellin’ me they were headin’ out.” You love when his accent deepens in private, like you get a tiny piece of the boy he was before the fame and dialect coaches,
“Oh.” You pause, and glance over at the clock, it’s already past midnight. “Have you got to go?”
“Nope. Told ‘em I had something else to see to.” You hope it’s you. “My baby’s been having a problem I need to sort out, thought I could give it a go.”
Your breath hitches.
“Doin’ it my way tonight, you gonna listen to your daddy? Do like he tells you.” You nod, before realising he can’t see you,
“Yes daddy. Please.” You can hear him shifting about and the creak of a chair or bed as he seems to settle himself in.
“You’re gonna start slow baby, want you to touch yourself all over. Start up top darling, touch those little tits of yours.” You heave a breath in as you settle up and back onto your bed, tucking the phone between your chin and shoulder.
“M’kay.” You start to brush a fingertip around your nipple, gently, over the top of your nightdress you haven’t really touched yourself like this before and it weirdly feels more intimate and awkward on your own.
“Now, wait a second baby, and lick your fingers and go back down. Just like daddy would do.” You comply and he can hear the wet noises that accompany you licking your fingers. You brush open your gown, and start to push the fabric of your nightdress down to better access your naked breasts. “Little girl, are you still dressed?” He could no doubt hear the rustle,
“Of course daddy.” You’re a little breathless already, and he laughs - at your state of eager excitement or at your state of dress you can’t tell.
“Well get it all off darlin’” You pause your fingers as they dry on your chest.
“But…then I’ll be completely naked, it’s too hot to be under the covers.” He laughs, speaking lowly,
“There someone in my house I don’t know about?” You’re confused for a moment, running through the current occupants in your head.
“…No.”
“Ain’t no-one gonna bother you then, so get it all off.” He huffs in your ear, “God almighty, no wonder you can’t get yourself goin’ if you’re frettin’ this much over taking your nightie off.” You know he’s joking but you can also feel his impatience and you hurry to do as he asks, stripping off. Throwing your panties god knows where. You feel outrageous completely nude like this even though he was right. Your curtains were pulled, door shut, and other than the help downstairs, you were home alone. You make sure the phone is still propped up securely, and lick your fingers again,
“Ok..El, I’m…touching myself again.” He laughs and you can hear the noises of him undressing too.
“Right darling, you’re gonna talk me through how you’ve been doing the past few nights.” You gasp,
“Oh no! I couldn’t possibly,” he growls down the phone at you, and you turn plaintive, pleading with him, “Oh, don’t make me do that El! It’s embarrassing.” He snorts down the phone at you,
“Nothing embarrassing ‘bout it mama, just doin what we gotta.” He changes his tone - he’s practically whispering low in your ear, “Makin’ sure you’re ready to be a proper little woman when the time comes, huh baby. Only got a few weeks left.” You smile at his words,
“I suppose that’s true…it’s just saying it.” You wait a moment for him to relent but when he doesn’t make any move to fill the silence you give in, “Ok. Ok. Shall I, shall I start now?”
“Yep baby, but I want you to just focus on that cute little button of yours if you’re gonna be touchin’ yourself for the second - I’ll tell you when to move on.” You trail your hand down to between your legs, following his instructions. “When you’re ready sweetheart.”
“Um… ok, uh, well, last night I got up to three, like you told me to. Been workin’ my way up before then.”
“Uh-huh, well you’re gonna be taking three of daddy’s in two days time baby, you think you’ll be ready for them?” He grunts at the end of the sentence, and you can’t hear it but you know he’s touching himself. You squirm at his words, his fingers are rather large and you know that come hell or high water they’re going in you.
“Yeah, I think it’s been trickier without you. I’m not as…wet. But, it wasn’t as hard last night so it, I, should be ready by then. I, uh, take my time with two still though.” You can hear his breathing get heavier down the line. You brush your fingertips over your clit, rubbing in tiny, light circles. “Um, but I still start just with one.”
“Yeah, doll? What do ya do? Twiddle with yerself a little and then pop it in?” You gasp at his vulgarity.
“Uh-huh, pretty much daddy. Just do what I can to get myself wet. I’m uh, still normally pretty ready by the time I get into bed. Just thinkin’ about you does the trick honestly.” You sigh at him, you can practically feel his ego inflating, but its the truth.
“You thinkin’ bout me now darling?” He’s smug, but it’s surely not anything he didn’t already know.
“Uh-huh, thinking about you touching me,” You can hear yourself gasp, and it inspires a sudden boldness, “about you licking me all over.” He chuckles lowly,
“You like my tongue dontcha, dirty little thing.”
“Uhh-huh…then I rub my finger around, and do it just like you showed me.”
“Just like I showed you huh?”
“That’s right, I…swirl it about a little bit, and uh… push it in and out, until I think I can fit a second in. Then I press down with both of them.” You can hear him lick something, presumably his palm, and the distant sound of skin on skin contact. “Then I do what you told me to do, trying to stretch myself out a little. But it just doesn’t matter how I stroke myself, I can’t seem to find my spot.” He laughs at you,
“It’s hard to find by yourself, little one.”
“And then last night...I got in my third finger, but it - I couldn't - I just had to hold it there for a little while - it hurt a little. "
“We don’t want that doll.” He practically growls as he lectures you, “Remember I told you about the slick in the bathroom. You oughta be using that to help ya anyway.”
“I can do it myself.” He hums back at your indignation.
“Well, we’ll see soon won’t we? … You still touching yourself baby?” You agree, breathy little sounds travelling with your “Ye-es”. “What a good little baby you are, my perfect little one.” You bite back a moan, there’s something about him praising you that always turns you on. “Let me hear you baby.” You comply, releasing your lip from your teeth, making tiny little ‘unh unh’ sounds. He groans, “Ok then, its late little one, best get on with it now, go on move that little hand down. Describe it to me.”
“UH-huh. I’m, uh, just, moving my hand down, oh god I’m so wet Elvis. Oh my god I’m slippery.” He laughs, “Um ok, I’m just touching my … hole with my finger, just gonna take a second.” You groan as you slip your middle finger in, index and third holding you open.
“That’s it yittle, wiggle it around a bit, though you should be used to that by now. Even daddy can fit one in ya straight away.” Your hips thrust up, and your thumb finds your clit again as you rotate the finger within.
“Uh-huh i’m doin’ it daddy.” His breathing hitches,
“Go on then, get the second one in now little one, should be ready for it by now.” You nod although he can’t see you, and your mouth opens in a gasp as you insert your index finger alongside the middle, thrusting them both in gently. You’re still nervous to be too rough with yourself, although you’d been balanced on Elvis’ before, thrashing about as he held you only with that grip while you came.
“That’s it baby, that’s it. Curl those lil’ fingers now for daddy, stroke yourself.” You do as he says and you can practically feel your walls loosening slightly with each stroke. You’re slick as anything and that helps to ease the way, can feel the damp heat growing with your heartbeat.
“I’m - uh - shit- doing it, f-fuck that feels good.” You gasp,
“Goodness, ya got a mouth on ya tonight darlin’, not very ladylike of ya.” He scolds, you hadn’t even noticed. The words slipping out as you struggled to make sense of how, just by him telling you what to do, it felt so much better than going it alone,
“So-orry.”
“Dontcha worry your pretty little head ‘bout it, you can make it up to daddy by getting that next one in that yittle cunt of yours.” The irony of it being necessary to make up to him after swearing, as he calls your vagina a cunt is lost on you in the moment. Your left hand grips the comforter, and you pull both your fingers out, feeling your soft, puffy, folds. Spreading the sticky wetness around. “Go on darling, wanna hear you.” A moan slips out of your mouth, followed by a gasp as you softly push in three fingers. It’s an awkward angle for you to do yourself on your back like this, but you can’t imagine how else you could stay on the phone. It’s less of a burn than the day before, and you wonder if it’s because what you’re doing is working, or if it’s just because you’re so much more ready doing it with him.
“Just-like I’d do, do it just like I would, spread those tiny lil’ fingers in that tiny yittle pocket.” He pauses and if you listened closely you could hear his hand speeding up, You do as he says, your chin dropping as your mouth opens. “Use your thumb baby, rub yerself.”
“Uh-huh, ye-es, ye-es daddy.”
“You close little one?” He grunts, his voice speeding up, “I’m -ah- almost there, wanna go together.” He groans and you pick up the pace, can feel yourself tensing up, just about hitting the right place and speed.
Your eyes roll back in your head, and the phone slips from its resting spot as you can’t help but turn your head from side to side. It feels like your hand is cramping as you struggle to maintain the momentum and steady pressure. You get there, shouting as you just about reach climax but you’re unable to maintain it for very long as your hips jump involuntarily and your pace is wrecked.
You can hear the blood whooshing in your ears and the pulse of your heartbeat as you come down. You feel shaky as you reach blindly for the handset again. It wasn’t unsatisfying, but it wasn’t good - it just was.
“You get there little one?” He’s out of breath, slurring his words slightly in his own post-orgasmic haze.
“Yeah,” You feel somewhat teary, and your eyes fill as you sniff, “But, it wasn’t like you do it. My hand hurts and I still feel…” you squirm, “on edge.” There’s a pause and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep. But then he speaks,
“We-ell…that’s because its a job for daddy, little girls can’t do it quite right. That’s just the way it is sweetheart.” You whine, you wouldn’t ever want to be without him but the implication that you couldn’t scared you. You hiccup down the line and you hear him shift closer to the phone,
“What’s wrong?” You sniffle again, before answering;
“I just… how will I ever do without you then?” You feel ridiculous, there’s more to life than effective orgasms but you’d had a taste now and didn’t think you could go back to pretending you didn’t know what bliss felt like.
He laughs, “Well, it’s a good job we’re getting hitched in couple ‘a weeks then isn’t it? Never gonna be without me again little one.”
#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis smut#elvis x you#elvis x reader#elvis presley x reader#elvis fanfic#elvis fanfiction#be-my-ally
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I'm not Jewish myself but I do belong to a couple of minority demographics that receive denigration for one reason or another, along with people trying to speak for me.
My only real advice is that there comes a point where it's no longer "defending the oppressed" and more infantilization. There is such a thing as being too sensitive. This is a kid's game, not propaganda meant to encourage hatred. Same as any other demographic, Jewish people can speak on their own behalf. They don't need others' help, they only need a listening ear. To do anything else is risking spoiling the fun for everyone including those you're trying to speak for.
Also "goblin" as far as I've seen is as much an umbrella term as anything else. Jewish people don't hold a cultural copyright on financial greed and hooked noses. (may I direct you to dragons and stereotypical witches respectively) I could probably name a dozen other fairy tale and mythological creatures that have such traits.
Suggesting that SSO's new little green goblin (Grinch? Norman Osborn?) is a caricature of Jewish people makes as much sense as saying the orcs in Tolkien's legendarium represent black people or that the white walkers from ASOIAF represent white people, aka little to no sense once you look past the surface. The comparison of Jewish people and goblins alone could be deemed borderline antisemitic in itself. It's misguided, but forgivable.
Worry more about enjoying the game and less about whether SSO is offending a group who are more than capable of defending themselves in a kid's game. ❤️
Okay I don’t blame you for assuming I’m not Jewish because apparently I haven’t mentioned that here yet even though I (mis)remembered I had, but this still feels really weird to send? Telling someone who’s not part of a minority to not speak for them is absolutely okay, the job of people outside a minority is to raise up their voices, not add their own, so I have no issue with that aspect and I am genuinely sorry that’s been done to you, but why are you, someone who by your own words isn’t Jewish, speaking on if goblins antisemitic or not at all? You are speaking for/over us there, and you would be even if I wasn’t Jewish.
I am Jewish, and obviously while we aren’t a monolith, no group of people is, I personally find this depiction of goblins (green and greedy/thief) antisemitic, and with much of the world going mask off with their antisemitism right now I’m not as open to giving benefits of the doubt as I used to be. I do believe this was a mistake on SSO’s part and not intentional as I said in a reblog, but that doesn’t make it any less harmful or antisemitic.
I have done quite a bit of research into the history of goblins and when they began to be used as an antisemitic caricature (as early as the 1800s thanks to the Goblin Market poem, which is just classic blood libel) because I make dice as a job and I want to enjoy D&D without antisemitism and the whole dice goblin thing, and there is a very large connection. This isn't unfounded.
You’re right in that goblins are a bit of an umbrella term, they are, which is why it’s important to let the antisemitic version of them die. You can have goblins that are just mischievous, not green, big nosed, greedy, sneaky, and untrustworthy. It’s really easy to not have antisemitic goblins, but unfortunately the antisemitic version is a mainstream staple and that doesn’t just go away overnight.
If you apply harmful stereotypes to anything, even if it was completely harmless before, you’re going to get a harmful caricature. That’s what happened to goblins, and that’s what SSO did with the Snow Goblins. They took the popular depiction which is the antisemitic version, and applied it to the game without a thought because it’s been normalized to the point most people don’t even consider it may have less than great origins. Like Rapunzel and Hansel and Gretel. They’re so normal the vast majority of people don’t even realize they were created for antisemitic reasons. Antisemitism is sneakily within a lot of things. You don’t start recognizing it until you become familiar with the tropes and stereotypes.
I’m also going to bet if they’re European in origin, the “dozen other fairy tale and mythological creatures that have such traits” you could name also had that done to them if they weren’t antisemitic to begin with. And since you mentioned them, it’s also what was done to the stereotypical version of witches, which is antisemitic and has a very long history of such going back to accused women who were burned being forced to wear Jewish clothing of the time as further humiliation. It’s also where the classic pointy hat comes from, since a pointy cone hat was what we were forced to wear to signify we were Jewish. Witches actually share a lot with goblins in antisemitic traits and SSO also needs to address Pi hitting all but the green skin.
You clearly know a little about the issue, as you brought up The Nose when I didn't, but you also don't know nearly enough to speak about this at all as evidenced by you not knowing the antisemitic history regarding witches, so please don't. And I never said they were a Jewish caricature, I said they were antisemitic, there's a difference. A Jewish caricature is the happy merchant meme.
What we're also not going to do is the whole 'you're the antisemitic one for seeing Jewish people in goblins' thing. That has and always will be an utterly bullshit dismissive argument. The whole point of this kind of caricature is to normalize the stereotypes so when they're actually applied to people you don't blink an eye, like how very few goyim blinked an eye at Mother Gothel in Tangled. I'm currently sick so I really don't have all the smart brain power to go into that right now and I hope someone else can. It's not antisemitic to notice when antisemitic caricatures have been applied to something. That's a very good thing to notice actually, and I want more goyim to start noticing that.
So it does actually make more sense than someone saying those things (which I don't think I've ever seen someone argue??), which I'll get into under the cut to clear up any confusion about how SSO's Snow Goblins tie into the antisemitic depictions, since a couple people were confused in my initial post.
And I am worrying more about enjoying the game; that's the whole reason I brought this up, because I'd like to enjoy a game that's been with me for more than half my life and means a lot to me, and this is preventing me from fully doing that.
Again, I am genuinely sorry people have spoken over and for you. That is wrong and not at all okay. And I'm sorry if I misread the tone of your ask.
Okay !! Education with Mandy time. This has been a long post but I hope you'll all stick with me for just a little longer.
And real quick before we get into the specifics, I want to mention that Christmas time is one of the times where you want to be especially careful about things like this, given the history present with characters like Scrooge.
So for those who don't know what the Snow Goblin is, this is the creature in question:
The typical antisemitic goblin is green, greedy, big nosed, and some flavor or sneaky and untrustworthy.
The Snow Goblin quite obviously hits on the green. If this creature looked like a normal capran and was named something like Snow Imp or Mischievous Capran, there would be no issue. Because bastardy little guys stealing things on it's own isn't an antisemitic stereotype. It's when there's multiple things that are the problem, like green skin, or in this case fur, and calling them something with a very large history of antisemitism when combined with those very traits.
The whole schtick of this little guy is they steal your snowflakes if you don't catch them in time, so it also hits on the greedy and untrustworthy tropes. If the Snow Goblin looked like a normal capran but was still called a goblin, there would still be an issue because the antisemitic goblin isn't just green, it's also bastard of greedy kinds, like a thief not out of necessity but of pleasure. "Thief" isn't directly an antisemitic stereotype, but it's very much there as an undercurrent. The "Jewish people are unfairly taking my money!" implication from The Middle Ages when the stereotype began, when money lender was pretty much the only job we were allowed to have.
If the Snow Goblin was called something else but was still green, I wouldn't say its directly antisemitic, but I would side eye it and not feel comfortable. It's kinda like the Grinch, ignoring the fact Dr. Seuss may or may not have been Jewish depending on who you ask because there's conflicting information. It's not directly anything bad, but I'm going to be a little wary of the intention and engage with it extra carefully.
Its about the combination.
I can't tell you exactly when the mainstream antisemitic goblin came together, because I don't know and it's really hard to find information on that, but it's there, and you can't deny that. I don't necessarily blame SSO for contributing to it's perpetuation, because you don't think to look deeper into something when you have no reason to think it's harmful, but I do hope they change it. And hire some Jewish sensitivity readers because this wouldn't have happened with more Jewish people around to catch it, and with witches being a focus of the story now I am admittedly a little nervous about how that'll be handled.
Also, this is all unintentionally made worse by use of the capran model, because it also gets to hit on the whole fun we're in league with the devil thing and the Jewish people have horns thing. I don't know when exactly those started either (drawings of us with "devil features" have been around a long time), but I know the we have horns one was popularized when Michelangelo decided to give his sculpture of Moses horns, because that's what we look like apparently. There are still people who genuinely believe we have horns. I feel robbed. Horns a super cool, I want horns. Where are my horns?
And before someone says it, yes this is a lot of words for something low stakes in a kids game. There are a lot of more important things right now. But that's exactly why it's mattering to me right now. I don't want to be silent about antisemitism while it's on the rise, but I don't know enough about the current aspects of that to speak on it. I do however know a lot about how it applies to fantasy, and I have had about three work in progress essays about the goblin issue to prepare for this.
And also before someone says it, Snow Gremlin isn't exactly an acceptable new name either. It's basically Snow Goblin 2.0. Gremlins aren't goblins (though they have become a bit synonymous and interchangeable), but they were popularized by the massive and proud antisemite Roald Dahl, and I have a hard time believing he didn't put any of those beliefs into them.
#star stable#star stable online#sso#sso critical#long post#antisemitism#jumblr#<- hoping some jumblr peeps can help explain why this ask feels so :/ to me#also side note but who's fun am i spoiling#the snow goblin's mechanic is horribly unfun even without this#it's just punishing#no essence of enjoyment in sight because there's a time limit that's really freaking short#and i know i essentially repeat myself a lot i am nothing if not a redundant girlie <3 lady redundant woman in world girl gets me
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Yesterday I watched Data's Day and it made me cry and I need to talk about it.
First of all I love that it was lowkey a slice of life episode? Like Data is just describing his normal day and some crazy stuff happens as usual on the Enterprise but it's also just like. The crew hanging out. I especially love his conversation with Worf about what wedding present to buy because it's just so normal? Everyday? And just seeing his casual friendships with everyone? And they all love each other? I love the whole tng crew so much.
Anyway, what made me really emotional was how much I related to Data as an autistic person and I know people talk about this all the time but I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN FOR MYSELF.
Right in the beginning of the episode he talks about how he used to have trouble maintaining friendships but now that he's become better at predicting other people's emotions he's become able to form friendships. And just. The whole ordeal of having to take years and years to LEARN TO MAKE FRIENDS when it seems to come so naturally to everyone else, when it seems like something that should just be easy. Yeah. But then also the absolute joy when you succeed! When you think ah yes I've finally learned to understand others enough, to do the correct analyses, to make the correct predictions, I can finally make friends! And Data is so pleased with himself just like I have been the past couple years. And the thing is! He makes mistakes still in predicting emotions! But his friends forgive him and help him understand! And it's just so??? Oh my god the happiness that comes with being accepted despite your flaws, despite who you are and what you can't change about yourself. With being reminded that you still deserve friendship and a special place in people's lives even when you make mistakes. Because even though he upsets Keiko by trying to change her mind about the wedding she forgives him and still lets him act as "the father of the bride" because she still loves him! Everyone does! Because he's so sincere! Oh my god I love Data so much-
But the thing that made me cry was one little moment when they suddenly redirect their course towards the neutral zone and Data says it's a good thing his duties can't be interrupted by emotions such as the uneasiness he might feel about such a change to the course. While clearly exhibiting signs of being nervous like tapping his fingers and glancing behind himself at the drivers. And this is something about my experience of autism that I hardly ever see in fiction. Not only do I have trouble understanding the feelings of others, I have trouble identifying MY OWN FEELINGS. I have low body awareness so instead of feeling emotions in my body I have to engage with them intellectually which means I often can't tell that I'm experiencing an emotion even when people around me can. I saw another post a month or so ago talking about how Data probably has similar troubles because his emotions don't manifest physically the way they do for humans. And just. I've spent so long feeling like and being accused of being an unemotional person because I don't feel my emotions the way other people do, so to see this implication that Data DOES have emotions even when he himself doesn't always notice them is so lovely. Just because he or I don't always feel emotions physically, and must understand them intellectually, doesn't mean we are uncaring. It just means so much to see a character who thinks of himself as emotionless be portrayed as so gentle, kind, and loved.
And then the end of the episode- Data says he believes humanity is not an inherent quality but a way of thinking and something he can achieve. And that's so reassuring. Even if I'm not human now, maybe someday I will be. And even if I'm not human, even if I'm never human, I can still be good, I can still feel, I can still make friends, I can still be like Data.
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