#and i hate that feelinf
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Forty percent of Tumblr users are between the ages of 18 to 25.
Text
schorry ab my absence i took a very schmall hiatus cuz i bave not been feeling hreat lately but i think i’m good now
#still gonna take me a while to respond to dms though i am so sorry idk why im like this#i hate feelinf vulnerable AAUUUUGHH#SALEM SAYS.. things.
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
no offense meant to the other girlies (love you guys) but i would actually die to be in a kris girlie groupchat it would be so silly
#if one exists and i wasnt invited. well. i assume we all hate me anyways 😞 no hard feelinfs#vee rambles
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tw vent in tags uh ed
Sobbing to this uh
#vent tw uwu#i haye myself so much lalala#i cant even fucking just starve myself cuz my parents have to give me food and now they want me ro eat onfront of them so i cant just throw#it out#im tryinf to eat 500 cals a daybut it keeps being 800#im literally fucking discusting bro#its so hard to hide my eating disorder when i had this SAME ed when i was 7 ans now if i dont eat one meal my parents are concerned#ive just been feelinf like shit the past like#4 fucking months#im going to school in September and im tryinf to starve myself as much as possible before then so i dont look like a ugly shit#but im just fuckinf failing#im suposed to be eating 300 or500#but instead im eatinf like800 to 1000 on some days#some days i atleast get to 600#ive bren doinf tgis shit for a month and.ive only lost.like 4 pounds#sometimes i just feel likr laying in my room all day and fuckinf rotting#eating only fucking gum and drinking monster or smth#i hate this and i know its stupid and i know i dont want to die but i KNOW this kills#i almost died when j was 7 from it#and i dont want to die#but i dont want to get better#anyway the main person keeping me alive in this shit is my poopir#egg 🐻#Spotify
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am walking into the sea
#cal rambles#HELP. I AM EXPERENCING SHAME#<- is feelinf awful for being maybe a tad overbearing and taking up too much space#is this what the mortifying ordeal of beinf known is i hate this#anyways i have not been around today bc i was too busy having. a time#i am actively fist fighting my own anxiety and my self confidence issues and i am LOSING#i hate feeling like this 😭 bro why do i have to have a breakdown over feeling like i was a teensy bit annoying#mayhaps constantly downplaying ur own personal feelings is NOT the move guys#it teaches u to not value ur own thoughts feelings and contributions i suppose#MAN. AND I THOUGHT I WAS DOING SO GOOD LATELY
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
itss my fault im horrible at maintaining relationships
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh oh, I'm beginning to romanticise the idea of walking into a large body of water and not walking out
#everything just keeps piling up and i have not been feelinf well#which means that i have been hanging onto a thin thread#academia#reading about the many poets and authors and writers walking into the ocean and it like “i get it babe”#just to clarify this is not entirely serious i paid for my education and im getting my money's worth#dark academia#classic literature#as in ancient classics#ovid is soo good i hate him#ovid's metamorphoses#ovid#poetry#this time of year is always so difficult because its the last weeks of the semester
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
🙄
#god i hate that this blog has devolved into the boyfriend chronicles it feels so stupid but this is the last social media i have that my#IRL friends are not on#idk i hate talking their ear off about whatever this is but also if i don’t process out my feelinfs i will die so i have to do it here#sorry folks#annoying for me too i promise
1 note
·
View note
Text
it seeemss…. that thats what it meanss… when somebody needs you…..
#FEELINF SYDNEY JEDDIE THOUGHTS TODAY . I HATE THEM SOSOOO MUCH#finished ep 18 in my relisten and FUCK !!!!!!!!! theyre so . AUGH#posts
1 note
·
View note
Text
X
#rambles from my nonexistent basement#sprinkles of thought#vent#not gonna put this outside bc Reasons#jesus fuck im seeing things again i swear this happens every night why did i have to have a bad dream before this#i swear im always in an altered mindset at night#i hate feelinf rhe need to tear my own eye out
0 notes
Text
god okay I'm gonna go back to taking it at 7am I can't start every morning feeling this shite
#not just mood im feelinf rly nauseous :-(#and its just so fucking hard titrating this shit alone like its such a rollercoaster. physically and mentally#im so tired. if the booster shit doesnt work next week ill probably just stop. ik itll be a pain if i want to get back on the titration#waitlist and i should use every week of the 12 ive got to try everything but i dont know if i can keep doing this without support#and i have a full time job man. like if i was unemployed or it was the summer break from uni then it wouldnt be such a problem#but i need to be able to hold myself together enough to work while im going thru all this and i cant do it by myself its too much#i wish i could actually like. talk to my dr face to face or videocall i hate only communicating via email for this#its so distant and cold. like i have to type all the bad shit ive been experiencing into a box and she marks it as read and thats that#just want one person to actually care. in a way that i can recognise. but i guess thats too much to want and im looking in the wrong place#sorry for patheticposting from work its rumination thursday. whatever ive gotta do to make it thru the next 7 hours innit 👍#.vent#.diaries
1 note
·
View note
Text
************
#I WANT THE KIND OF METABOLISM THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO EAT ANYTHING I WANT WHENEVER I WANT IT#THIS IS THE ONLY BODY I HAVE AND WILL EVER HAVE AND IHAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MAKINGIT BEAUTIFUL OR GIVING IT CEREAL#AND IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING MAD#AND BLAH BLHA BLAH EVERYTHING IN MODERATION#NO.#I WANT A BUCKET OF GOD DAMN HONEY NUT CHEERIOS#A BUCKET#EVERY DAY I WANT A TROUGH OF THEM#I WANT AN ENTIRE CHOCOLATE BAR#I WANT A SLEEVE OF OREOS#AND I WANT A FLAT STOMACH AND WIDE HIPS SND I WANT TO BE DESIRED GOD FUCKING DAMN IT#AND MY BEST FRIENDS DONT GO TO THE GYM AND THEY EAT S H I T ALL DAY ANS THEYRE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL#AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO GRAB A FISH FROM THE RIVER AND CURSE IT FOR ITS CRIMES I WANT TO STRIKE BIRDS OUT OF THE SKY AND ASK THEM WHY#GET ME TO GOD AND LET ME FUCKING AT HIM#IM SO DONE FEELING THIS WAY BUT IF IM DONE FEELINF THIS WAY THEN ILL NEVER LOOK HOW I WANT#AND I WILL ALWAYS BE OVERLOOKABLE TO MEN#SND FUCK MEN I HATE MEN BUT I WANT THEM TO LOVE ME#THATS ALL TRIGGER WARNINF WHATEVER IM PISSED TODAY#DEFINITELY GETTING MY PERIOD
1 note
·
View note
Text
UGH
I know I agreed to it but like. I don't actually want to see my dad tomorrow. I should have lied and said I was busy
"but wait! I thought you and your dad got along? where is this coming from?"
thanks for asking! it's probably a mix of hormone emotions and the absolute emotional repression of having a dad who doesn't talk to you outside of holidays and birthdays, but spends every other weekend babysitting his partners grandkids! he's the dad that basically isn't even my dad anymore! he's my dad by name and absolutely nothing else! sometimes I kind of wish I could just stop talking to him and seeing him altogether because what's the goddamn point! we're basically strangers! I actually resent my dad a lot sometimes for what some people might say is No Reason!!
0 notes
Text
got like scabs in the upper part of both nostrils driving me crazy
#i cant blow them out or they will just bleed and form again and i HATE this feelinf#😭#jordan talks#it was too dry and i was too sneezy and now its hard to breathe OTL#when i have like . nose bleed scabs/clots.#i can blow them out like an hour later and its fine but these are a different beast#sorry if this is TMI i need to complain
1 note
·
View note
Text
whayevr it's lame asl to be posting this to tumblr ill realize wgenican see again
#does anyone else feek so expired.#like its agfectigb my ljfe so badly#i rly was supposed to die when iw as 12 he shoulsve killwd me he shoulsed killwd me#now im rotting wverywhere im so fuckinf expirwd#im covered in bruises i cant see anything im just an old doll rhats been drawn all ovwr#fuck i hate myself si much#i hate everything there is to hate avout myself and i qant to die in every way#im so tired of this#every time i try to kill muself i hage to spend time in the hospital and they make me numb and i iinsa forgwt bur im feelinf it again#and its like im 13 again except im jot! im 18 now!!!!!!! its not right!! its not right!! its embarassing and childish#wish a man would break in and fuck me and kill me
0 notes
Text
Im in such a weirdly shit mood today i feel so sad and isolated and BORED out of my motherfucking mind and I just feel like asssss
#Like i literally have NOTHING to do#and i got really sad earlier thinking about how i dont feel comfortable in my extended friend group anymore . and like idk ive been#questioning stuff lately like my morals and stuff and my values#and like thinking about graduating exhausts me cuz on one hand like . prom. i dont wanna go like genuinely i wouldnt have any more fun than#i can have at home but at the same.time i guess a part of me is sad .? that i dont wanna go to prom and that ill miss out maybe#and same w all social stufff basically like I genuinely dont think i enjoy large social gatherings but also i cant tell for 100% sure yk#and a part of me IS sad that i cant have a normal teen experience#but mostly that like. i cant relate to anyone really. It feels like the divide between me and people just keeps growing the more#-i stop faking things and masking and stuff#but i cant tell if the way i feel abt some stuff is morallly alright . for example a someone in our friend group hangs out with people that#make racist jokes. and I sorta judge him for it CUZ i thinm its lacking a moral.backbone. but at thw same time maybe its weird of me to#think thar way and worse maybe its hypocritical cuz like. for example i listen to bands that have done some shitty stuff (only to a certain#degree of course like i have my boundaries) and i think the like hypercritical 'cancek culture' sort of mindset is stupid and unhealthy#and like you shouldn't be expected to only associate with morally perfect thimgs. but also i dont think you should be friends with shitty#people cuz thats different yk.. but everyone is so tied to each other in a way i wont ever understand#and like maybe its just easy for me to say cuz i dont have much experienxe w stuff like that‚ maybe i just think you can#cut people.off if theyre too shitty cuz ive never really been in that Situation#but like if my friend made a racist joke or something i would at least talk to them yk??#but idk I hate being in morally challenging situations bc i have a very ig unreliable moral compass and insanely low empatthy . so i#always have to second guess myself and i guess i have to re-sort my priorities. cuz i care about people feelinf safe around me but it#leads to me resenting myself when i DO judge people and i really really dont wanna be overly negativr but i also dont wanna keep like#supressing everything ....#idk i just want my peace but something always comes up. and i dont understand other people and lately it just feels like the giant divide#between me and other people and esp the other teenagers has been growijg so hard#and my two best friends are the only people where i feeo like we speak the same mental language and stuff#but one of them has zero backbone and would never have my back ever cuz shes just too scared and the other one is similarly socially lost#like me#and i feel like idk any expectations/wishes i got towards other people are morally bad of me cuz it feels like i need to know better#like i judge myself for being hurt that my one friend doesnt defend me against anyone when they say bad stuff but like i know shes just#too scared. and yet
0 notes
Text
Please someone tell me how to take away this pain
#I can’t do it#i thought the meds were meant to help#god I hate this#I need a hug#I need this feelinf to go away
0 notes