#and i feel like i cant talk to anyone about it

[sanctuaryroses]

what wud actually interest me about the giselle pelicot case is HOW many men would actually, yknow, men that werent involved in this at all, wud agree with the defenses the men bring up for not even having considered asking giselle pelicot for consent first, or having ever conversed about it with her at all. like I rlly wonder how many men out there wud just. be in quiet agreement that it doesnt matter what her input on this is as long as the husband says its ok for them to have sex with her. I feel like, not having tried to speak to her about it first also shows a lot of "I dont want her to to give me her input on this cuz then she cud actually show me this is rape, and that she doesnt know about it, and then I cant go ahead and just rape her whilst pretending the thought she might not be in on it has never even occured to me."

Like its like. Anyone in their right mind wouldve obviously tried talking to her about it first too, anyone with half a brain wouldve discussed it with her first, figured out what her fantasies about this are, what her input on this it. And then they wouldve found out in under 3 minutes that shes a rape victim and has no clue what is going on. But they never did that. Nope. Cuz they didnt care whether she was in on it or not, maybe they even enjoyed thinking she wasnt in on it specifically.

Its insane to me. honestly.

But given that all of these men were pretty normal standard men participating in this, how many men out there would be like, no what these dudes did there is totally reasonable. How many men wud be totally fine with admitting to that cuz they truly do not think it is wrong.

Probably a lot.

[p-h-a-n-t-a]

I tend to fixate on evan as a character at times because his whole shtick is that hes mysterious and has issues tm, but also because i have also been the haunted (literally spoke to ghosts as a child) ass white kid (white) suffering from food insecurity (yall ever have a mustard sandwich, its bread heels with mustard on them. Thats how i learned to like mustard.) So i relate to him quite a bit.

But, i cant help but be deeply curious about the other misfits and their lives, struggles, and their mysteries.

I frequently work with kids like Jammer (ive been christened with a nickname by middleschoolers. Its Shawty DooBop. Im glad its that and not "that mean ass librarian") and I wonder what his life is like on a day to day basis. Did he pick his sister up from her after school program? How long has he been writing? A lot of kids I know, no matter how much they like the sports they play, were originally put into them by parents hoping they could be something great, but what would he want to be if he wanted to be something different? Did he ever read the maximum ride series? Does he actually like dragon ball Z or is it more of a cultural osmosis thing?

K is deeply relatable to me on a number of levels (nonbinary tumblrina) but also deeply alien. Do they talk to their family at all? Do they feel remorse for cyber bullying people over steven universe? Do they get mad at themself when they have to remember people cant just be tropes, they also have to be people? Even themself? When will they go to therapy????

Sam black, britain, butler my beloved. Fellow child of divorce, how much did that influence your comunication? How long has being an influencer been her focus? Does she actually want to inluence, or does she just want friends? She struggled in school, did anyone ever try to help? Would it have been better or worse to be on an iep plan? Does she still talk to her family much now that shes famous, is it out of love, or out of that family wanting her support and her energy? How has T2 stayed a teacup pig? Those usually grow into potbelly pigs of some sort. Does she feel like her magic has actually hampered her ability to connect with others because she is so easily liked? What were the sailor moon forums like, what happened after your pink pal stopped liking pink?

Also to the magic mommy of all time, what was Bombini's life like? A 600+ year old wizard who seems to have lost everything dear to him and is upholding the memory of people long lost built on foundations that were crumbling from the start. Dudes middle name is kyle. He seems like a paralell to our sad ass white boy, if they had decided to uphold the nature of magic and the old ways, would evan have become like him? A shuffling, sad, impossibly old steward? Also whats happening on tadershacourt. Whos the shadow man with Khan.

God i have so many questions, im deeply glad misfits and magic got a season 2 but i do think it has just given me more to be insane about. I managed this with only 4 eps and a holiday special, im gonna explode. Truely the tumblr coded series of all time.

[crushedsweets]

I would like to ask if the creepypastas know what happened to each other? Like do Tim and Brian know what happened in Toby’s and Kate’s childhood/past? And if they do know how did they find out?

some do!! this kinda half-assed answers your question cuz i included all 16, so its kinda difficult to cover everyone neatly!

for kate... i dont think anyone but toby and MAYBE clocky/nina would know what happened to her. she doesnt want to talk about it at all, and toby would only find out by connecting the dots of random stuff shes said.

i think toby is pretty open about what happened to him. he'd be very quick to make jokes or casually be like "yea i got the shit bullied out of me". so people are familiar, HOWEVER i dont think a lot of them really understand how bad it was for him bc hes so casual with it. i think tim and brian probably caught toby losing him mind, having nightmares, screaming and he'd be like "you dont get it you dont fucking know the shit that happened to me" etc etc. with clocky or kate or EJ, he'd be SLIGHTLY more vulnerable. tell them about lyra and connie, but he's just uncomfortable with that stuff

tim wouldnt really want to talk about his childhood or everything he lost either. i think he'd only bring it up with toby in the event that toby needed comfort, or something to ground/relate to (i.e hospital visits, schizophrenia, loss) OR if someone implies tim has it better than them. then he's like WHAT the fuck do you think you know about me. otherwise he rather not.

brian is pretty similar. he just doesnt wanna talk about it. brushes things off pretty easily, tries to joke about it, or he says something like "it sucked but im here now. gotta keep pushing, why dwell". . .

clockwork keeps that shit to her chest. the most she'd bring up is like "yea i grew up poor, dad was a nutcase, i dont wanna talk about my brother" or implying other people have it easier than she did (which is true 90% of the time. she had it rough). i think only toby and nina would get a better idea of what really happened to her, but she just doesnt like to think about it. itd be a similar case where they catch her having a panic attack or nightmare and she chokes something out .

nina spills everything she doesnt really care. she likes to talk and share and spill her guts, so everyone is pretty familiar with all her ex boyfriends, workaholic parents, getting bullied, whatever. shes a bit more hesitant to bring up certain things that SHE'S done (cheating, cyberstalking, self harm, etc) but she'll happily share times she was a victim to others

EJ would share about his family very freely, and i think if someone asked, he'd tell them about jenny. so i guess it just depends on who cares to ask ? toby, clocky, maybe tim/brian would. jeff and ben might ask like "hey why are you ugly now" and he would not tell them . cuz he needs whoever he tells to ask genuinely and treat it seriously

similar to nina, jeff just yaps and yaps and goes off about how hard he had it (completely warping the story and lying half the time). so he'll just bring it up to brag or compare or compete or prove a point, but its never done very.. vulnerably?

ben doesnt talk about any of it. most of the group knows, because his case (yk, 13 yr old boy kidnapped and murdered amongst several other young teens..) got really big and everyone kinda talked about it without him. he doesnt want pity or to think about it. he'd only bring it up with sally, i think, cuz he feels a bit more seen by her

sally would only tell jane and clocky. i genuinely cant see a reason she'd ever bring it up to anyone else, and those two are the only ones she'd trust (and mary but marys not that big in my au)

jane tells people pretty openly, because she was a victim of jeffs stalking. she tries to make her story more...inspirational? because after all her pain and loss, she still went to law school and all of that. or if someone tries to diminish her pain, she'd be like 'watch your mouth.' i think she'd tell nina and liu. for nina, it'd be like "you dont even care do you? you still love that man after everything? how can you look me in the eye, knowing all he's done, and tell me you idolize him?" and for liu it would be more about like. closure maybe? part of her resents liu even though it was NOT his fault whatsoever and he's also a victim, but shes mature enough to try and navigate the trauma WITH him despire her pain

for liu its kinda similar, but nothing is inspirational. he would tell people because for him, its how he connects to people. connecting on trauma, even if its not the healthiest way. . . if someone asks, he tells them. its kinda sad the way he talks about jeff though. 'i just miss pushing my little brother on the swing'

dina screams and screams at everyone about "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE LOST" because she was held in such a idolized position in her cult. she hates lazari and she blames everyone else because she thinks they have something to do with the devil(zalgo) and thats why god doesnt want her anymore.

lazari would cry to EJ about her nightmares of her mom, but i dont think she'd talk about it with others. it just makes her sad. maybe she'd tell jeff cuz he'd be asking and then He'd belike oh. jeez. ok. LOL. that sucks.

lulu doesnt really remember what happens to her, but everyone has an idea. she mumbles about hazing, how cold the water is, how she doesnt wanna drink again, how the sorority girls are so mean, she just wants to go back to her dorm, whatever. but its just because shes so lost in her mind

ann is more like ... sassy . brags about her redroom business and whatnot, complains about the man who killed her, gets all sultry about kate saving her from her big bad killer, whatever. but she doesnt talk about her family or how she was a femcel neet.

[theautismcorner]

I have bothered my friends about this enough so now I'm posting my ramblings to tumblr so i don't annoy anyone. This is primarily about being disabled.

I love Viktor so much. I love seeing disability rep in media, especially the way they talk about Viktor within arcane. I will phrase this in the most vague way I can - at the end of season two when Jayce talks to Viktor about it I wanted to implode. I would kill for someone to say that to me. I relate to him on an insane level. Starting off with something i find amusing and unrelated to disability - my eyes are actually fairly similar in color to his, specifically when I’m outside/in natural light. One of my friends called them dark honey one time which i think is really cute. Now onto the disability part - I am physically disabled (I have hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome) and often walk with a limp due to pain and have to use braces a lot. While I am dealing with my flare ups reading fics from Viktors pov is really therapeutic because they make me feel like I am not alone in my pain. They help to distract me from the pain too. Something within the fics--the ones that have his pain as a central element--that i love is how much the other characters (namely jayce) care about him and just see him. People who aren't disabled probably don't know how hard it is to ask for the help you need it during flares for fear of being a burden or being weak. When people just offer help, even with small things like getting a blanket or making a cup of tea, it truly means the world. I have been in a flare for three days and have been virtually on my own with it because I don't live with people i like much or even care to know that well and cant really physically leave once the flare is active. I have been living off of crackers, cheese, and cereal because I cant make myself food which sucks. I am lucky i had put my mini fridge next to my bed so i don't have to walk to get ice packs or cheese. I just read Viktor fics (jayvik to be more specific because season two is ouchy) and listen to the same song on loop for hours (the song is Fantastic - Cait and Vis song) just wishing I had someone to care for me like what I am reading. I read one where Jayce makes Viktor his favorite soup and brings it to him and that's exactly what i wish I had right now. I love living vicariously through the fics but god would it be nice to have this stuff irl. Anyways, my legs feel like they are being pulled apart, one muscle/tendon/bone at a time, so I am going to keep reading fics until I have to hobble to a friendsgiving. If y'all have any fic recs please let me know.

[httpscameron]

attending weddings was boring, anyone can admit it and certainly you could, it was your distant aunt’s daughter’s neices wedding. somehow you got invited and were allowed to bring a plus one. that plus one being your best friend schlatt.

the day was slow but lovey it was in the middle of some woods but you had to admit the scenery was lovely. schlatt succeeded at keeping you entertained for the day but the feeling of love in the air was strong.

the two of you sat in his pick up truck on the way back to your apartment was long; the only music being played was from one of schlatt’s many playlists which always seemed to coincidentally fit the vibe. your gaze leaving the window as schlatt made small talk.

“was a nice venue,” he murmured, since when did he think about venues? if anything he seemed to be more intrested in the amount of free booze he could get from the bar before they told him to go away.

“it was,” you hummed keeping the conversation afloat. “nice food.” it was the normal cheap catering you expected from a wedding, some plain chicken and some vegetables that were lightly roasted.

“yeah it was.” even for you two who could speak about anything and everything this was awkward. perhaps it was the lingering tension of how much you two oddly seemed like a couple (you did infact get asked when the two of your’s wedding would be, four times to be precise.)

“do you think about getting married?” he murmured stopping at the red light his fingers drumming on the steering wheel before turning the volume down. was he going to get really deep and philosophical with you, or tell you how marriage is to scam the goverment.

“sometimes,” you say in the same tone meeting his gaze which lingered on you - which had lingered on you all day.

“same,” oh?

“big guy schlatt would get tied down? wouldve never guessed.” you teased him almost, bringing energy to the conversation.

“maybe for the right girl you ever thought of that.” he jabbed back. he continued to drive the tension feeling a little less than ‘why arent we dating yet’ to more ‘good we’re not dating’. your mind did start to wonder to what it would be like to be with jay like that. ‘would he be domestic? is he a good husband? is he a good kisser? i wonder if hes good in bed?’ lets just say your mind continued in this loop

the drive continued until he got to your apartment, he always made it a routine to walk you all the way to your door. just to show some basic respect.

you got to the door, “this is me,” the usual cliche how perfect.

“night toots.” he said his charming smile, a part of you liked this, ended the night perfectly but not this night. you looked up at his beautifully crafted face, mainly his lips. you had to taste them, you had to know what they tasted like.

you kissed him quickly before stopping. your cheeks flushing red in almost embarrassment as you realised you actually kissed your best friend. youre so in the shit.

“im sorry, im so so sorry, i dont even know why i did that, thats so embarrassing-“ you began to ramble “i cant believe i did that, im sorry jay.”

“doll.” he murmured a cocky smirk gracing his face.

“no jay im so sorry i cant believe i did that, i kissed you like that-“ you carried on your hands flapping as you talked trying to explain yourself.

he cut you off once more. his lips meeting yours in a soft passionate kiss, his lips meeting yours in a perfect puzzle peice, you needed him to complete you. his hand resting on the back of your neck the heat, melting into it. it was perfect.

he pulled back looking down at you. “g’night toots.” he released his grip as he began to walk away.

you watched him walk away in complete awe. he really kissed you like youve never been kissed before and walked away like? “jackass!” you shouted down the corridor to hear a soft chuckle.

masterlist

[sleepy3012]

Nicky finds the tunnels under the school but things turn a twist while his there, Sorry if there is bad gramer. (Part 2)

Nicky wakes up weak and tired "God What did those beak freaks do to me" he said in a pale voice he could barely speak. After a moment of ajusting himself he relized he was tied up, now he really starts to freak out.

"Help...anyone...am...s..stuck"

He says with a chocked up voice. After a moment of silence he see's a group, the same goup of people that kidnaped him in the school!

"Well well" one says as he comes out the shadow "how did you sleep..did you dream of sunshines and rainbows?"

Nicky could hear one of the other group members chuckle, "No ..." Nicky said in a whsiper voice but then Nicky start to realize something.....The other crow freaks were'nt like the one talking to him. The others were dusty and had diffrent color beak, while this one was more taller and cleaner and his beak stood out that the rest of them.

"You...y...you..must be the leader...r..right?" Nicky stated as he tried to break free.

At first he remaned silinent but after a moment he spoke up.....

Yes...I am the leader and now tell boy..what were you doing down the school tunnels...its dangerous you could've got killed or hurt..and of cousre WE couldve killed you...yk."

He said in a very deep voice as he waited for a responce he finally got one, Nicky spoke up loud and clear.

"It's NOT your bussiness what I was doing there plus even if you did killed me people would start to realize that am gone and would call the police then they will find you and would take you to prison and I know u dont want that to happen so why not let me go?" Nicky stated.

There was silence in the room Nicky thought they would let him go but things didnt go as planed.

"Yes yes we could let you go....but theres a bit of a problem with that honey~"

"What....whats that? Asked Nicky in a worried tone.

"Well if we....I let you go your little tiny mouth would go out there and spill the tea wouldn't it? And even if you say you wont say anything about this how would bealive someone as talkitive as you...hmm?"

Nicky sat there in silence not know what to say next, the Crow freak had a point... how would he know if he would go out telling his friends about this? What would His parents think...what would his friends think...what would....TRINITY think...would they even believe him?

"What if we just keep him with us? Then he wont go talking his mouth out about us." One of the group members suggested.

No, was all Nicky thought he didnt want to stay with these People or whatever they are what if they killed him the next day or the day after that? If did stay for how long would he even stay?!

Yes...thats a good plan" The leader says "How about you stay with us..you'll be safe with us..we wont hurt you.

"NO!" Nicky insisted "YOU CANT WHAT ABOUT MY FAMILY THEY WILL MISS ME AND WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS?! Nicky felt his voice gain back to normal.

"Oh sweat heart...We can be your family...and what friends?" The leader chuckled, "those arn't your friends.. neither are they your real friends they never listen to you, they just ignore you all the time..and your parents...They just think its your "IMAGINATION" won't they?"

Nicky started to cry a bit he felt all of them gather around him like a big hug one part of Nicky wanted to let go of their grasp but another wanted to stay and feel the hug, He stood there still feeling the warmth of the hug.

"We care....Nicky..We will beleive in you..we will listen and take good care of you" Another one states.

"Nicolas...WE..will be your Family."

[1796samuel-seabury1729]

i hate being aroace so much actually . especially because im on the side of the spectrum [ both asexual and aromantic ] where i feel no attraction AT ALL . and all my friends have partners or crushes and theyre always talking about how much they love them and how great it is to be loved and i . dont know it makes me uncomfortable when people talk about romance but i dont want to say anything to anyone about it and ask them not to talk about it because like that makes no sense i cant tell them what they can and cant say . but it just makes my tummy turn whenever anyone mentions their romantic partners i cant understand it . and it scares me like they love them so much and they always talk about them they are their best friends and it feels to me like a competition . . like if i am not good enough then they will forget about me and spend less time with me and then only focus on whoever their partner is and i feel like this even with some of my closest friends one of my best friends from like third grade has a girlfriend now and it feels like shes only spending time with her now and not me . and i cant say anything to them because i am not supposed to have a say in their relationship . like i feel if i express how i feel about it to anyone then theyll think im interested in them or am trying to tell them they cant have a partner . so i dont say anything .

and adding more onto the " no one acknowledges that im aroace " bit , it genuinely makes me so upset . i live in a really conservative town so even the few queer people i know typically arent educated enough to even know what aromantic is , let alone aroace . so im constantly being told " you two would make a cute couple " or " are you dating ? " and bullshit like that because im really affectionate with my friends and it makes me so uncomfortable and tense because its CONSTANT even after i tell people that i dont like conversations about that and tell them i dont experience attraction like that . everyone has a sort of " love is what makes us human " mindset , and they make me feel like a doll or a robot just because of my feelings and to make that even WORSE im neurodivergent and can barely ever be around large groups of people [ even if theyre my decent friends / im acquainted with them ] without getting really overwhelmed and breathing heavy and crying and that makes me feel like some child . i hate how complex human emotions are and i hate that i cant just be normal , be happy .

this really isnt important its just something im thinking about a lot because almost all of my friends are falling in love right now , and im losing one of my closest friends ever because of it . so . sorry for the yap .

[chaosmax]

Many thanks to @rewuyuu for the commission!

hello everyone do you have a moment to learn about Sampo and Jing Yuan friendship propaganda because IN THIS ESSAY I WILL--

(based on that one Jason Momoa meme, because this is so their energy)

Edit: said essay--

(obligatory these are just personal headcanons of a friend and mine other interpretations are valid)

-They both go :3 they are both some of the few characters that make that face and it is adorable.

-They both conceal their true deeper feelings behind teehee funny man/lax eepy personas [this is assuming the Funny Bone video is canon to Sampo. It was made for Hoyofair but Hoyoverse showcased it in the Live concert event so I consider that canon until Hoyoverse says otherwise]

-On the topic of that both had a tight-knit group of friends they hung out with when they were younger and were ride or die with. Unfortunately, this turned out to be die as all of their friends died (some of the HCQ are still alive but are either reincarnated or so changed/driven mad from Mara the version Jing Yuan knew had died) while Sampo and Jing Yuan were the only one out of their pals to survive.

-But both had to move on and continue to anyway, whether they wanted to or not

-Due to these things in common they would understand and relate to each other in a deep, meaningful way that few others in their lives could. There would be a certain level of liberty to their friendship because of it. They'd be able to release pent-up emotions and trauma as well as sympathize and empathize with each other. They'd be able to support each other and trust each other with the burdens of their pasts because of it. While not easy for these topics to come up initially, once they did they would find a safe space in each other for these topics. And from this would form a strong bond of trust.

-Not to mention Sampo would be a great way for master strategist ™️ Jing Yuan to keep tabs on what is happening throughout the galaxy in other places or gain valuable information for the Xianzhou Alliance. AND as Jing Yuan has expressed a lot his daily life is quite boring and loves to hear tales from the Astral Express's adventures he'd also love to hear all the wild antics Sampo gets up to because you KNOW Sampo has some wild tales to tell

-In happier news Sampo is very outwardly mischievous while Jing Yuan is also hella sneaky but in a different way usually. But when put together they bring out the utter gremlin in each other and are constantly messing with each other or having a prank war but it's all in good fun. It makes them both genuinely laugh a lot, breathing new life into their days.

-Also Mimi is either really affectionate with Sampo or bullying him (safely and gently) but it freaks Sampo out because she so beeeg. Jing Yuan finds it hilarious.

[ihatebrainstorm]

You ever think about pre-ES Optimus and Megatron spotting each other on the battlefield, seeing each other’s threatening presence and rage before clashing…. and how years later all the anger that they’re used to seeing on the other’s face giving way to warm friendly smiles…

[aastarions]

astarion as a tailor post-game my beloved

the thought of him designing you the cutest outfits to wear and feels such a sense of pride swell in his chest when you first adorn the beautiful fabrics, he especially loves watching you leave the house in the clothing he’s designed for you because he knows if anyone were to compliment you with suggestive intentions, you’d be quick to grin and say, “thank you! my husband recently put this together, isn’t he just so talented?”

[lilac-set]

Reminder: even if trump wins, we’ll be ok. The presidency isnt the only political position that matters, he wont be a dictator, the president doesnt have the power to remove every other part of government that keeps the president’s power in check. Also politics isnt the only thing that matters. Even if we lose some rights (which he cant singlehandedly do) we still have community, we still have activism, we’ll always be ok. We survived one trump presidency, we can survive another. We survived before gay marriage or transitioning were legal, if we have to survive that again we will. Please, no matter what happens, promise to stay alive. Youre valuable, youre important, and youre going to be ok. Its better to be overprepared than underprepared. Im not asking you to lose hope (im doing the opposite of that), im asking you to practice coping ahead, get all your coping skills ready, determine now to stay alive, because i dont want any of you to make any rash decisions later in case we get bad news and emotions are high. Make a safety plan if you need to. Make sure you’re gonna be ok

[ganondoodle]

honestly cant stand how technically important demise is and yet how he doesnt actually matter or exist in peoples minds as a character, the only thing that matters is his stupid "curse" thing and its the only thing why he will ever be brought up, theres never really any thought around him that isnt related to the "cuuuurse", otherwise he basically doesnt exist in the fandom

to some extent its understandable given how little he actually is in the game but it still makes me sad and a little frustrated imo he shouldnt be treated like soemthing so unimportant given hes involved with the literal start of the timeline

and worst of all is how he and ganondorf make each other worse, like their link is completely deniable yet its like more often than not treated like gan is to demise what zelda is to hylia, but even that isnt used interestingly no, its only ever to write off gan as "well, hes just a demon, demons need no motives or character, they are jsut evil" WHICH IS SO BORING, and people will be HAPPY about that??? they go yippie gan is jsut an evil demon yaaay like the fuck???

it goes around to that other post i made about how not wanting a better written gan is wanting everything to be worse, bc a better written villain is a better written everything and there is only winning in that

demise specifically is just a sore spot for me since hes my blorbo, and the way even gan fans hate him for introducing the "cuuurse" thing just makes it hurt doubly, i get why, still its just so .. man i wish BOTH gan and demise were allowed to be characters, at least gan was a character at some point, demise has nothing ;__;

[turtleplushi]

I need sleep

[puppyeared]

AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[suntails]

I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.

Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.

This is one friend.

Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?

I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.

We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.