#and i dunno which would shock me more that im possibly gonna die or the HOLY FUCK ITS HIM IM A BIG FAN???

[necro-acid]

don't know what to say here so I'll tell you one my headcanon about dude. I think he's probably gets really high/drunk before blacking out to sleep. if he doesn't do this and goes to sleep sober, then he often suffers from terrible nightmares.☠️

[ssamie]

thirteen. “til death do us part”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, jumping off a bridge ;-; (nobody dies tho)

masterlist.           suicide freak!

"well what happened afterwards??" kuroo asked kenma 

the boys were in kenma's room chilling and playing games while kenma tells kuroo about his confession "uh.. nothing really" kenma said with a sigh 

"she didn't respond but she didn't really reject me either" he said "she had a call from her agency saying they needed her for something and she had to leave" 

kuroo was visibly disappointed at the result, patting his friend's back as he let out a sigh "well, like you said, she technically didn't reject you" he said "plus, she's been fawning over you for a long time. im pretty sure she likes you back" 

kenma furrowed his brows and shrugs. "sure i guess.." the pudding head muttered 

"cmon, kenma! don't get all sulky on me now!" kuroo exclaimed. the boy laid back on the bed and pulled out kenma's phone, placing it between them and began counting

"ten.. nine.. eight..seven.. six.." 

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned "im counting down the seconds it takes before y/n tells you to meet up or something" kuroo explained 

".. five.. four.. three.." 

"im pretty sure it doesn't work like that-" he was cut off by the loud ringing of the phone. the caller id was shown, revealing it to be y/n herself. kuroo jumps up and cheers, yelling and howling in happiness as he ruffles kenma's hair 

"kenma, i told you!!" kuroo exclaimed excitedly "dude, i should be a fucking psychic" 

"no, you shouldn't" 

kenma picks up the phone with shaky hands. he sends kuroo a wary glance, who simply gave him a thumbs up in return. his trembling fingers answered the call, and then pressed the phone to his ear 

"h-hello? y/n?" 

"kenma! how's my favourite pudding-head doing? ow-" she asked 

kenma furrowed his brows as he heard her wincing from the other line, undoubtedly from pain. "um.. are you okay?" he asks worriedly 

"oh yes, of course i am" she answered way too quickly for it to not be suspicious "but i do need your help for something.. come to the same bridge from last night" she said in a serious tone 

kenma gulped as he made various frantic gestures to kuroo, silently asking for his help. though kuroo was no help since all he did was smile blankly while holding up two thumbs up 

"um, okay! do i go there now or..?" 

"yup! bye-bye ~" 

kenma then let himself drop to the ground as soon as the call ended. he felt like turning into a puddle and drying up from the nervousness flowing through his whole body at the moment

"k-kuroo.." he mumbled "dude, you okay?" kuroo asked with a chuckle "like i said, y/n is definitely responding to the confession!" 

"yeah okay-" kenma grumbled 

"but please help me up. 80% of my nervousness is now in my knees. i can't stand." 

kenma nuzzled his nose into his hoodie, covering half of his face as he nervously approached the riverbank. like he said beforehand, his nervousness has traveled down to his knees and it seems that it still hasn't left. 

"hey hey hey ~ over here, kenma!" she yelled 

kenma looked up to see her waving her arm around like a madman. though, one of her arms were in a sling, and she just looked quite roughed out more than usual 

he jogged over to her with a frown while eyeing her obvious injuries "hey, what what happened to you?" kenma asked her 

"oh this? this is nothing" she said with a laugh "i somehow broke it during a mission last night, but not to worry, the ever so lovely yosano-san cured me" she laughed nervously 

"ah yes.. yosano-san.." she shuddered 

it left kenma thinking of what could have possibly been so bad about getting cured. though he left it be and paid no mind. 

"so why did you call me?" he asked her. he was feeling quite anxious at the moment and he was feeling very thankful that she wasn't acting indifferent towards him 

"well, i called you over for multiple things" she said 

"firstly.." 

kenma gulped as she paused dramatically, leaving him to anticipate whatever it is that she has to say 

"i need you to play this game for me so i can pretend to be better than chuuya." she stated with a straight face. she then handed him her phone, which had the game's chat open and had chuuya laughing and teasing her 

chuuya's messages consisted of 'you're such a fucking loser' and 'you suck balls' among others. 

"what?" kenma sweat dropped 

"please! that munchkin will get too happy if he wins one more time!" she pleaded 

kenma sighed but did as he was told. he was playing the game while she watched him with sparkling eyes "kenma! you're a lifesaver!" she exclaimed once she had won the game 

"could you imagine me losing to chuuya?!" she scoffed out with a grin "gosh! my ego wouldn't be able to handle such torture!" 

"now, secondly.." she paused once again "eat this ramen with me!" 

kenma sweat dropped as she had randomly pulled out two cup ramens, which for some reason are both hot and in well condition 

"where did you even get that?" kenma asked her with a soft laugh 

"that's a secret! but did you know-" she mused "the reason i got this for us is because ranpo-san told me about it. apparently, its a 'deathly spicy ramen' and he wanted to refer it to me" 

kenma blinked at her but smiled anyways "wow. so then im assuming you're expecting us to die from this?" 

"its worth a shot!" she cheered. she handed him chopsticks and sent him a cocky grin "i'll let you know i can handle spicy food quite well" 

"so if all else fails, i packed a ghost pepper just in case-" 

"please put the pepper away <3"

kenma sighed as he reluctantly ate the ramen, slurping on the noodles and soup as tears brimmed his eyes "im not very good with spicy food.." he muttered as he fanned his mouth 

"finish it!!" she exclaimed, though tears has also brimmed her eyes 

"you're in the brink of tears too!" he groaned in agitation 

"these are tears of happiness! i can almost taste the death looming over us!" she exclaimed with a grin 

after finishing the very spicy ramen, she had unfortunately concluded that it was, in fact, not deadly. in the end, the pair had to run to a nearby food stall to buy some drinks

and as they were drinking, y/n had once again perched herself onto the flat surface of the metal railings, letting her feet dangle as they watched the sunset in peace 

"y/n.. about last night.." kenma muttered out nervously 

"ah yes, your confession?" she chuckled "no need to worry about that. i already know what im gonna say.." 

kenma blinked in shock, frantically averting his eyes from her and to the ground as he felt his anxiety rocketing 

"which brings me to my third reason of calling you over.." she said "kenma, there's something i need to tell you" she said 

her expression had gone aloof and the playful smile on her lips has now faltered "what is it?" he gulped 

she took two steps back as she looked him in the eyes. her (e/c) orbs not seeming to give any hints as she peered at him 

"y/n.. if you're gonna reject me then-" he was, of course, cut off once again as she suddenly pulled her 'injured' arm out of her sling and popped it out to wave at him

"boo!" she cooed out with a dumb smile 

"what the hell." kenma replied as he blankly stared at her

she laughed and slipped the sling off, folding it neatly before casually throwing it down the bridge "did i have you fooled?" she chuckled "anyways.. about that statement you didn't get to finish.." she hummed 

"what makes you think i would reject you?" she asked him 

her bandaged hand patted the spot next to her, indicating that she wanted him to sit. following her wishes, kenma hesitantly sat next to her. 

he was fiddling with his fingers as a huge and overbearing wave of silence washed upon them. fortunately for him, she wasn't looking so she couldn't see his trembling body, and the nervous look on his face 

"well, i kind of assumed you don't like me since.. you kinda left me hanging last night.." kenma muttered 

"hm, i did do that.." she hummed back quietly "what would you do if i said i liked you back?" she asked him 

kenma couldn't see it, but it seemed he could basically feel her cheeky smile appearing "um.." he stammered 

what would he do? he didn't really know. he didn't plan that far ahead. and kuroo was nowhere to give him some awful but doable advice. 

"i-i don't know.." he stuttered out. kenma could feel himself heating up. its like his cheeks was on fire as he felt bursts of embarrassment and butterflies banging on his stomach. 

"would you kiss me?" she mused 

kenma froze up. he looked up at her, face beet red and eyes as wide as saucers, as he mumbled incoherent words 

"well- no? i don't really know how to do that-" he stammered "or yeah- if you want- or um- i love you." 

she chuckled and slowly faced him with a gentle smile "i love you too, then" she laughed 

kenma has officially blown a fuse. 

his face exploded into a bright red as he felt all the weight of the pressure and anxiety leave his body 

"so, do i get my kiss now?" she asked teasingly 

"uh well-" kenma muttered with a sheepish smile "i dunno how-" 

he was cut off by a hand grabbing a tuft of his hair from his nape. her fingers tugged on his faux blonde locks as she pulled his face closer to his 

"itadakimasu~" she cooed out 

kenma.exe has stopped working. 

once her lips had pressed onto his, his whole body tensed up. though a total contrast to his reaction, she was quite calm. obviously calm enough to shove her tongue down his throat. 

their kiss was short but sensual. he took notice of how deliciously addicting her tongue danced against his. he definitely needed to ask where she got all those kissing skills from later on. 

he may not like the answer since it was from chuuya, but let's not get into that..

she pulled away after a minute, her grip on his hair loosening as she pressed one last peck on his parted lips. she backed away and licked her lips to tease him. 

"oh my" she cooed at him "if i would've known you taste this good, then i would've kissed you much sooner" 

"u-umm.." kenma muttered bashfully 

he was blinking sluggishly as his fingers lightly graze his lips, reminiscing in the feeling of hers against it. 

"y/n.. will you be my girlfriend?... please?" he asked in a quiet and flustered tone. all the nonexistent confidence he had before has now fully evaporated away. 

"of course." she mused 

"wait-really??" kenma asked her with a look of disbelief and sheer happiness

he bit back a smile as he looked up to look at the setting sun, then back at her. her features were illuminated by the soft golden rays, making her look simply ethereal, atleast to him. 

kenma was then brought back into reality as he felt the soft skin of her hand and the textured bandages touch his. 

she intertwined their hands and brought it up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. she chuckled at him as he turned his head to the side, trying to hide his blush from her. 

"til death do us part." she grinned 

"okay, that was very sweet.. but when it comes from you, it kinda seems like you're about to kill us both-" 

without uttering another word, she pushed herself off from the railings she was sat on, and tugged him along with her. 

"y-y/n?! y/n!" kenma shrieked as he felt himself free falling in the air. his grip on her hand tightened as he nervously recoiled into a ball. the cold air hit his skin in the most nerve wracking way, leaving his skin with goosebumps and shivers tingling down his spine. 

"so this is what it's like.." she mumbled 

kenma looked over to her, the panic in his eyes gradually fading as he was met with her warm and love-filled orbs. she held the most tranquil and peaceful smile as she looked at him with a sense of joy and plenitude. 

"y/n.." his lips quivered as he gripped her closer 

she simply smiled at him as both of their hair flew erraticly due to the wind. the sound of the flowing water got louder and louder 

until finally, they hit the surface with a huge splash. 

she faintly heard loud and ragged breaths coming from kenma as he swims back up for air, hastily paddling against the strong current to drag himself and, her as well, back to land. 

"I KNEW IT! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he exclaimed once he catched his breath 

she laid down on the grassy ground beneath them and closed her eyes. she had a faint smile on her lips as she mumbled under her breath 

"double suicide.. im definitely not dying unless it feels like that.." she whispered 

kenma's demeanour softened at her words. he laid down beside her with a huff, tucking his wet hair behind his ears and doing the same for her. 

"if we're gonna kill each other, atleast tell me first." he sighed "also, drowning is definitely scratched off your list" 

"well, you look like you can't swim so.." she chuckled playfully "that's not a valid excuse" kenma sighed, though a fond smile etched itself on his lips

they probably looked quite strange to other's perspectives, if anything, they looked like dead bodies that had washed up to shore. 

but they didn't really care. 

"also, that was a very weird assumption. do i really look that lanky to you?"

"yes <3"

kissing scenes are so weird to write, or at least for me  ;-;

[dinolikes]

IMPOSTER- PART TWO

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character death

| prev. |

you sobbed into dabi's chest as hawks and ingeniumu covered thirteens body with a sheet, everyone looking over, some with tears, and some with just a blank look, like they were still processing it.

it was silent for a long time before ingeniumu cleared his throat and looked up, everyone seeing the ghost of tears in his eyes, "we have to call h-headquarters," his voice cracked but he stood tall, he would make a great captain one day, even with his pushover attitude.

you were crowded in the cafeteria, a computer resting on the table with headquarters on the line.

"im sorry to say this but you have an imposter."

you shook your head, you refused to believe it, how could these people, your FRIENDS, who you've lived with for a year, how could they be imposters?

though you shouldnt be surprised, the league has been gaining members, rarely any ship didnt have at least ONE imposter, some even having as much as three, you just thought you guys were the exception.

"twice, hawks, you searched thirteens body correct?" a voice came through the screen.

"yes sir," hawks quietly muttered.

"was everything in place?"

"he didnt have the vent key."

the vent key, really easy to pass through, was originally made for people to quickly go from room to rooms, but after the rise of imposters who started using it to sneak up on people, only one person was allowed to use it per day.

the voice cursed, "very well." a sigh could be heard, "well you know the drill," you did, you just didnt like it, "if you suspect someone, send them out and let them die," you gulped.

you didnt know if you could do that, even knowing that someone here murdered thirteen, you learned to care for each of them, even weirdo itchy snatch tomura. you didnt know if you could just send them into space to suffocate. even the thought made you sick.

"until then, we'll need you to finish your tasks fast, we'll have you home by the end of the day, which means the imposter will probably try to kill faster today. watch out." with that a beep was heard, signaling that you were disconnected.

a grim silence filled the room.

hawks finally spoke up, "which one of you assholes did it?"

dabi glared at the taller man, "fuck you dude, how do we know you didnt do it?"

hawks took a step closer, "bold accusations from someone who seems to hate everyone!"

"why would I kill one of the only people I actually like in this shithole?"

"because he had the vent key dumbass!"

"hey!" twice yelled.

hawks glowered at him, "oh yeah, how could we forget twice here? you found the body right? meaning you were the last one to see him? why DID you decide to check on him huh?"

"why would I come to you guys then?!"

"i dunno, to throw off suspicion maybe?"

you finally snapped "stop it!" everyone's heads shot towards you, "thirteen is dead," you choked out, "and I know thay we're all upset but we just have to finish today's tasks and then we're back home, okay?"

everyone stared, until deku started nodding, "y-yeah! just today's tasks left! then we'll go home and catch the imposter and we'll be fine!"

"what makes you so sure we'll catch him once we get home idiot?"

deku stared up confusingly at kaachan, "dont we have cameras?"

ingeniumu looked at his friend "obviously deku but whatre you getting at?"

"our cameras have memory sticks," shoto spoke up quietly, "when they're connected into one of headquarters machines, you can access all of what it caught,"

deku nodded rapidly, "exactly!"

your eyes lit up, "deku your a genius!" you grabbed his head and gave him a big smooch on the forehead, leaving him a red and stuttering mess.

dabi tsk'ed, "c'mere,' he grabbed you hand and pulled you towards him, wrapping you hands around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

you rolled your eyes playfully at his jealous nature.

"fine. we finish our task but if another person is found dead we're booting someone off." with that, hawks stormed off.

you tried not to go too harsh on him, you knew hawks looked up to thirteen, and beneath that cocky demeanor, he really was soft.

knowing that though, you couldnt help but feel some fear and resentment.

fear because you didnt think you could kill off one of your own and resentment because you knew hawks would make you do exactly that.

"we should have a plan," ingeniumu speaks up, "4 groups of two who continue on and do their tasks, and I think twice should be on security, just incase the imposter attacks again," everyone nods.

"i'll go with wonder," dabi states, already grabbing your hand,

"dont you think you'll get distracted with...other things?" tomura smirks, dabi clenching your hand in his.

"fuck. off."

"oo feisty~"

dabi glares, "yknow you dont really seem to care much that thirteens dead!"

tomura's eyes flash a dangerous color and he leans forward.

"the FUCK did you just say?"

"you heard me you fucking incel,"

"stop!" ingeniumu yells, "tomura is right, you guys do get quite distracted, wonder is with hawks, dabi your with shoto. ill go with tomura and that leaves deku and kaachan, with twice on security. let's go!"

dabi grumbles but goes with his brother as you lightly kiss him on the cheek and go with hawks.

you cant help but think about how amazing that kid is gonna be when hes older as a captain of his own ship.

you and hawks head off, both of you checking your list and stopping by rooms, the other waiting as they finish their task and repeating, until hawks sighed.

"how are you dating that asshole?"

you laugh, "hes not too bad once he likes you,"

"and what? he just doesn't like me?"

"exactly."

"what if he didnt like thirteen?" your smile drops instantly.

"hawks..."

"I'm just saying!"

"well STOP saying! I know dabi and he wouldnt betray me like that, so whatever accusations you have against MY boyfriend, I dont wanna here it," you scowl as you check your notebook, and started heading forward, "c'mon. I have to do wires in electrical."

hawks stayed quiet through the walk, as you stormed forward, wanting to get as much away from him as possible without ACTUALLY losing him. if you were being honest you were scared of going off alone.

as you walked in electrical you instantly went towards the wires, not noticing hawks standing in the doorway,

"wonder?"

"yes hawks?" you snap.

"I just saw someone vent." you pause and turn around.

"where and who?!"

"I dont know! I just saw the vent close when we walked in here and since Thirteen had the key before he died, that means that only the imposter can vent!"

"fuck! why would they vent though?!"

hawks paused. "maybe they killed someone again."

tears filled your eyes as you started searching the dark room, almost tripping over something, you only briefly looked up but you choked back a sob.

it was a foot.

"hawks!"

he came running towards you from behind the wall and saw the foot, gulping as he turned on the flashlight.

there say ingeniumu, with his throat slashed.

you couldnt hold back the cry that left your throat as hawks pulled you in for a hug, mostly to hide his own tears.

"what's going on in here?" you heard dabi's voice and you lifted you head to see him and shoto.

he looked mad but when hawks gestured with his flashlight towards the body, the brief flash letting both of the boys see, dabi understood.

"c'mere baby," he grabbed you quickly and held you tight as you sobbed into his chest, dabi looked up at his brother, "shoto can you call a meeting?" he asked softly. you assumed shoto nodded because there were no other words spoken.

there you all sat again, in cafeteria.

you were sniffling as dabi played with your hair, you holding shoto close as he leaned into you, still in shock of seeing his friend's lifeless corpse like that.

deku stood tall and didnt bother to hide the tears streaming down his face and even kaachan was caught sniffling a bit.

twice sat quietly in the corner, with his elbows on his knees.

hawks though, was red in the face from anger. and the victim of his anger was none other than tomura.

"you were teamed up with him fuckface!"

tomura simply shrugged, "I got bored and wanted to check on twice, see if he was alive,"

"well he is! but your partner fucking isnt!" hawks jammed his finger against the other mans chest, "and I think YOURE the cause!"

tomura raised his eyebrows, "I was with twice, right twice?" he did a 180 to stare hard at twice who looked up slightly and slowly nodded. that seemed to please tomura though as he turned back around, "see?"

"that doesnt mean shit! you were supposed to be with him!"

"but I wasnt."

"but you WERE! that's why the kid is dead!"

"I say we vote." shoto's voice was muffled by your neck and dabi's chest, where he was currently crammed in, but it was still intelligible.

you raise your head and wipe a few stray tears, "I think that's smart sho,"

you all nod and murmur in agreement.

"fine then. let's vote." hawks glares at tomura one last time, "who says skip?"

tomura, twice and shoto raise their hands.

"i dont think theres enough evidence." shoto explains and you nod, quietly telling him that theres nothing wrong with his belief.

hawks has a slight triumph look on his face, "who says that tomura is a fucking psychopath who likes to murder children!"

"murder a child. thirteen is practically twice my age" tomura corrects, "and besides I didn't do it."

hawks rolls his eyes, "whatever, everyone just vote."

you, dabi, hawks, deku and kaachan raise your hand, making you guys the winner.

"perfect." hawks drags tomura over to the ejecting room, usually used for heavier garbage that didnt fit in the disposal.

as you all surrounding the glass wall that separated you and tomura you cried a bit more.

sure you hated this dude but you still KNEW him!

"anything left to say sicko?" hawks glared at the smiling tomura.

"maybe you arent as much of a bird brain as I thought hawks. good job, you win," he does a slight bow like this was a performance before hawks pulls the lever, tomura's body flying out before hawks closed it again.

"he admitted to it." deku stated simply.

"yeah."

| next |

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

u guys know how crystalisks change color depending on element?

ohhh yeah

tl;dr: i went off on crystalisks for a while, started talking about vault monsters/guardians and siren tattoos, bloodwing, krieg, the elemental hierarchy, the bandits that got mutated by the vault key piece, the eridian ruins powering up, the moon [elpis] being teleported in that new vid we got with steve and claptrap, i rant about eleseer and technologically created pocket dimensions (heyo), and also there’s commander lily spoilers in here so be warned

i talked about a lot of things. i promise i linked them all together. somehow.

so we got the normal crystalisks that do explosive stuff

got Blue (the aptly named big blue crystalisk) that deals shock damage

(we also see a few more in hayter’s folly)

got Rouge the red one that deals fire damage

I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen any green crystalisks since they’re pretty common in the caustic caverns.

anyway the reason im bringing this up now is because a very very long time ago (jesus christ, 2017) i had a theory that crystalisks were kinda like pets to the Eridians, like guard dogs of the ruins in the caustic caverns. which could explain why they were friendly (iirc Blue was even playing fetch with Booth) until Dahl started mining them

mostly cause of the guardian ruins everywhere

also, they show up in the Vault of the Warrior, as well. which is curious.

the other reason im bringing this up now is because im wondering if their crystals have any relation whatsoever to the purple crystals we see sprouting out of the ground in bl3.

they hang out in the ground when not active, mimicking said crystals, and there are yellow crystals sprouting out of the ground in bl2 that, when meleed, produce the same crystals crystalisks do when they die. (tho now im wondering if we’ve just been senselessly murdering crystalisk babies :|)

bonus: we know threshers are native to elpis, not pandora, and their blood is green. Crystalisk blood is blue, which could possibly hint at the fact they’re an alien species to Pandora. AFAIK rakk, skag, bullymong, stalker, and spiderant blood is all red. and so is bandit blood. (unless they’ve been huffing Eridium sludge like Zarpedon. then it glows purple i guess.)

anyway

you guys know how vault monsters change color based on element?

just recently fought this bad boy so i have a plethora of pictures

(this one is cryo)

(slag/base- which you know, makes sense. gotta slag em before u can swap guns)

(this one is shock)

nasty boy

also, interesting to note: we never got ‘explosive’ as an element with the sentinel and in bl3, explosive was taken out of the element list

you know how Siren tattoos also change color based on element?

sorry i would show amara’s green/corrosive tattoos BUT this was the leaked clip that i had on hand

ohhhh yeah.

now we know Siren tattoos are blue when using their base powers. according to amara, this blue means electricity is the ‘base’ element for sirens (which just plain isn’t true given what we’ve seen with maya and lilith, unless they show that further in bl3 where lilith uses phasewalk without her tattoos going red... which I’m guessing will not happen lol)

which has me like 🤔

we know in the original borderlands the vault key is blue for the vault of the destroyer

in all it’s technological glory

then it changes to purple in bl2. and apparently, we even get red in bl3.

so i know what you’re thinking “well blue must be the base element then” but imma posit that it’s actually not

We know the sentinel, when it comes out of the Vault, the first element it is is ‘purple’ (aka slag/eridium i guess, since slag isn’t in TPS). which, as we said above, makes sense.

we know the Warrior was a biological weapon built/modified by the Eridians for... some reason. It was under complete control of whoever opened the Vault. (the warrior actually has 2 elements afaik, the slag tail/wings and the fire)

I wanna say we were SUPPOSED to open the Vault of the Warrior first. Then open the Vault of the Destroyer and annihilate it with our new cool biological weapon

so then the order would be purple -> blue -> uhhh something something

oh and Siren tattoos appear to always be purple when interacting with Eridium stuff

like when Lily touches the vault key in the Vault of the Warrior, her tattoos glow purple

when Lilith is being mind controlled by Jack/the collar/charging Eridium her tattoos are purple

etc etc

also MAJOR COMMANDER LILY SPOILERS BELOW

her tattoos glow purple during the final cutscene i believe. bonus i’m pretty sure the vault map was glowing white when inside hector. it was still purple on the outside tho soooo take that as you will. i had a picture but i removed it because i didn’t wanna spoil anything for anyone. the whispy bits do remind me of angel’s wings

SPOILERS ARE DONE

dunno if any of this is important but i will say

when u fight a badass skag that’s been charged by an element and is implied to be the result of eridium runoff aka slag? mmm that’s the good shit.

Bloodwing?? her base color is purple. but jack is able to change her element based on outside stimuli (and, again, explosive isn’t actually seen as an element, just a joke... a really... fucked up... joke...)

we also know a lot of the bandits were mutated by the vault key (piece?) in sledge’s mine. might help explain burning psychos (the ones that are literally on fire). 

also maybe the eridian ruins are starting to give off ‘radiation’. you know how the original Eridian Ruins in BL1 were like white/blueish and then all the ones we find in BL2 are purple-ish? maybe they started charging up once the first Vault was opened and that allowed more and more bandits to start getting 

borderlands 1

vs

borderlands 2

(sorry for the shitty screencap, i hope it’s clear enough)

oh also maybe krieg’s ability to breathe fire and light himself on fire since he was a hyperion experiment. dunno if they did slag testing on him or not but... all things considered... it’s a probably maybe. wasn’t his assassin’s assassin the woman in the ECHO logs you find around the WEP?

also Terry the thresher? probably mutated like hell from living in those Vault ruins. might explain the size. also threshers being from the moon might just give them the fire/wormhole abilities inherently. since apparently the moon is some top secret eridian base that can see the future. im not even surprised. also you know. terry drops e-tech stuff upon decimation.

anyway i think Pandora is a lot older than Elpis and that’s why Elpis appears super fucking high-tech compared to Pandora’s ruins.

I mean look at the above then look down here

which makes sense, you’d make the planet before you make the moon yeah?

so elpis was probably put in place to watch over Pandora, maybe the Destroyer and the Warrior’s fight or maybe even to predict the future of that fight. maybe the eridians got paranoid and were like ‘fuck this’ and vanished because they were told they couldn’t win.

i do go into that whole theory of ‘zarpedon saw what the twins are about to do in bl3 and jack ain’t shit’ in an older post of mine so i won’t go into it here, but that’s another option as to why the eridians just booked it the hell outta dodge

bonus: in tycho’s ribs, some of the glowy lights are not actually purple, they’re red-ish

which has me thinking about the glowing red Vault Map we see in the Dev trailer. wonder if that’s going to lead up to elpis

oh! and speaking of elpis

yeah i don’t think that’s just an aesthetic thing cause holy shit

we’re all going to die!

yeah i actually have no idea what’s happening to the moon here

but im going to take a wild guess and draw your attention to that one scene with lilith

when she uhhh teleports in using her firehawk powers

we see it again when tyreen teleports in bandits on promethea

and they look

really

darn

familiar

im not saying we’re gonna teleport the moon but hOLY SHIT would that be F*CKING AWESOME

we also know ‘the moon is the key’ as shown on the cover art sooooo

it’s entirely possible?

which brings me to another point i made a while ago when the booth intro got leaked and i was talking about the ‘vault’ ‘not-vault’ area and decided it was on pandora because of the moon, but made a joke that maybe it wasn’t because i guess we could just move the moon.

what if it actually wasn’t lmao

nah im just playing, i’m pretty sure those are Rakk flying around there, but HEY it’d be cool!

also it’s pretty fucked up what’s happening on elpis considering it looks like it’s being bathed in fire... sucks for everyone on concordia but hey, if it means getting rid of pickle, im game.

OH GOD DAMN IT HE WAS ON SANCTUARY WITH TINA FUC-

anyway.

i wanna move the moon

oh also im still not convinced eleseer isn’t found by going thru a wormhole/alternate dimension/pocket rip/whatever

like, you know how to fight the Sentinel you go inside that giant purple crystal that looks like/is probably eridium? and the arena is WAYYY bigger than it ought to be? and it looks like the outside is made out of glowing graph paper and sick guy fieri flames that’s probably supposed to imply some sort of technological feeling?

oh and it does the “lilith just yeeted u to bloodshot stronghold- just kidding’ effect! which... y’know. my only gripe with that is it actually does appear to be somewhere inside eleseer given if u look at the ceiling it does look to be the same sky you see outside eleseer... but where the fck is eleseer... is it in another dimension inside the moon? bc i still refuse to believe the entire moon is being supported by that area... wouldn’t you see the crust?? somewhere? and it being in another dimension would help explain the whole ‘yeah you’re exactly where you were five seconds ago... but also you’re not because you’re in this arena and it’s clipping except it’s not so even though the sky looks the same because you’re in the same exactly spot you were in 5 seconds ago, you’re actually not (but you are)’. because what the fuck my scrub brain can’t comprehend that!

but god i wanna know if the eridians were harnessing the power of eridium and learned how to create pocket dimensions using their technology and fuckin DID IT the mad lads. i mean isn’t that what Vaults are? just little rips in this dimension. it’s the good shit.

also i wanna know why the Destroyer seemed to have pockets of slag/eridium on it’s tentacles when he’s supposed to be the VILLAIN tm of bl1 and also the eridians. might help explain why eridium only starts appearing after you off that physical rendition of him. also [see that one post i made about the crystals being corpses].

wow.

yeah.

i just spent a straight 2 hours doing nothing but typing this post. i should really go to bed. imma go do that

tomorrow i wanna talk about the seraph vendor. cause i can.

[spidergwenstefani]

Finals Week

This is a really self-indulgent semi sequel to this ficlet I wrote a little while ago about theatre major Bucky and frat bro Clint. Apparently this is gonna be the AU i use for pointless fluffy comfort now bc I’m stressed with finals essays and these boys are helping.

I definitely shifted some background characters around since the last fic sorry steve but i don’t super care so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bucky spins his desk chair around in a lazy circle, watching the moon shining through his apartment window blur into a bright stripe with the rest of his surroundings. Someone on the floor above him has tuned their Spotify to some kind of low-fi study playlist, and Bucky feels genuinely relaxed for the first time in… months, actually.

This last week has been rough. Nearly all of his finals ended up scheduled on the same Friday and Natasha had to actually hold him back from leaping out the library window on Thursday night. It worked out alright. The Lighting Design 201 presentation had gone off shockingly well, the History of Stage Design final was way easier than expected, and his group project for Gender in Shakespeare really pulled through in the end. He half-assed the conclusion for his Dramaturgy essay, but there was only so much he could say about August Wilson without the professor realizing he was just spitting his class notes back at him. So now he’s done. A whole five days before the semester ends, too. It feels like a thousand-pound weight has been lifted off Bucky’s shoulders. He hums along to the slow jam echoing down from his upstairs neighbor, scooping up his phone to check his messages.

Nat (3 hours ago) Congrats on being done with finals

Nat (3 hours ago) If you didn’t turn that gd Fences essay in on time I will climb in through your window and strangle you in your sleep

Steve (2 hours ago) Hey! Me and some buddies were planning on going out for pizza around 7 tomorrow. Do you wanna come with? You can bring Clint so you don’t have to listen to grad students all night.

Steve (2 hours ago) Please say yes. I don’t want to listen to grad students all night.

Nat (42 minutes ago) Have you heard from Clint? He hasn’t answered my texts in hours. Not sure if I should be concerned

Nat (40 minutes ago) Send him a dick pic and see if that gets a response

Clint (3 minutes ago) im fckin dropping uot

Bucky ignores Steve and Natasha for now, typing out a quick response to Clint.

Bucky Well I’m done with finals

Bucky Can I convince you to stay in college with some fantastic Fuck Dramaturgy victory sex?

Clint i dont kno what htat is

Bucky I’ve explained Dramaturgy to you like five times

Clint i cant remembr

Clint what day is it

Clint bucky im dyin :’(

Bucky rolls his eyes, grabbing the keys off his desk and pulling on his sneakers. He would have preferred to avoid the Greek side of campus today if at all possible, but he has an idiot boyfriend to console.

Bucky omw

>>==========>

Beta Theta Pi is, as far as frat houses go, not the absolute worst. It had still been kind of a shock when Bucky realized Clint actually lives up to his frat bro vibes. Not only lives up to them but embraces them with the same enthusiasm Clint has for any other thing he cares about. Bucky could probably do PR for the Beta charity drives by now after how much Clint has gushed about them. Lord knows he’d do a better job than fucking Pietro.

Bruce answers the door on Bucky’s third knock, looking surprised to see him and vaguely stoned.

“Bucky?” he says after he gets a few blinks out of his system. Bucky wonders if it’s such a good idea to be smoking in his letterman jacket. Coach Fury’s been known to have a nose like a bloodhound. “Clint didn’t say you were coming over.”

“Has he said anything at all in the last twelve hours?” Bucky asks, shouldering past Bruce because he knows he won’t move on his own. Bruce is actually his favorite of Clint’s brothers. He’s chiller than any offensive lineman has a right to be. He does yoga, for fuck's sake. It’s probably the copious amounts of weed that mellow him out in the end, though.

“I dunno,” Bruce says, still blinking his way back to the present. He gives Bucky a slow smile as he shuts the door behind them. “Do you want tea? I made tea.”

“Maybe later,” Bucky says, because he’s just spotted Rumlow studying at the dining table and that’s the one Beta guy he genuinely doesn’t want to see today. He heads for the stairs.

“Wanna play Smash Bros?” Bruce asks as Bucky bolts for the second floor.

“Maybe later,” he shouts over his shoulder.

Clint’s room is at the far end of the hallway, and Bucky frowns at the closed door. Clint’s the kind of endearingly codependent guy that keeps his door open unless absolutely necessary, never wanting to miss out on anything that might be blocked by a thin layer of wood.

He knocks more as a warning than anything, letting himself in and shutting the door softly behind him. All the lights are off and nothing but moonlight illuminates Clint spread dramatically across the floor, staring up at his ceiling fan like he’s hoping it’ll fall on him.

“Fucking Christ,” Bucky mutters, mostly because he’s not sure Clint even heard him come in.

“I’m gonna die,” Clint answers from the floor. “Statistics is actually gonna kill me.”

“You can’t die,” Bucky says, leaning back against the door. “My mom will be crushed if I don’t bring you home for spring break.” The moonlight is making the angles of Clint’s face look especially soft, and Bucky takes a moment to watch him pout before sinking down onto the floor.

“No, it’s too late. I’m dying,” Clint says, shifting to make room on the rug as Bucky crawls over to him. He wraps his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and plants a quick kiss on his forehead before turning his glazed look back up at the ceiling fan. “You’ll come to my funeral, right?”

“Obviously,” Bucky snorts, sliding his hands under Clint’s t-shirt. He knows his fingers are ice cold, but Clint doesn’t even flinch.

“Wear black, okay? Something sexy, so my enemies get jealous of the hot piece of ass I bagged before kicking the bucket.”

“Should I cry?” Clint hasn’t seen Bucky act yet, but he’s totally going to audition for The Laramie Project next semester and blow his fucking mind.

“As much as possible. Maybe mention how much you’ll miss my massive dick.”

“I will,” Bucky says emphatically. He looks up at the ceiling fan and takes a deep breath, doing his best to bring tears to his eyes. “I’ll never love another dick as much as I loved his.” Bucky’s voice comes out impressively choked up. “I’m cursed to a life of longing. The only man who can satisfy me is lost forever.” Bucky blinks a single tear down his cheek, and Clint’s staring at him when he finally turns back.

“Holy shit,” Clint says, moving to wipe at Bucky’s cheeks like he’s actually worried about him. “Do exactly that, please. When did you learn how to cry on command?”

“When my third sister was born,” Bucky answers smugly. “I didn’t appreciate how much more attention tutus and pigtails got, so I had to find my own edge.”

“Becca’s sent me a few pictures that say you still cashed in on tutus and pigtails.” Clint rolls onto his side so he can face Bucky better, pulling him closer with a hand around his waist.

“I rocked those butterfly clips better than she could ever dream,” Bucky says, and Clint buries his laugh in Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky runs a hand up and down Clint’s back. “What day is your Stats final?” That earns him a despondent groan.

“Monday. I’m so gonna fail.” Clint’s voice is muffled by Bucky’s sweatshirt. “Why the fuck did I decide on a Business major?”

“Because you’re smart,” Bucky insists. Clint shakes his head weakly against his shoulder and Bucky smacks him lightly on the arm. “You are. You’re smart and practical, and once you have your diploma you and Nat can move to New York and open your gym.”

Clint mumbles something into his sweatshirt that Bucky doesn’t quite catch.

“What?” he asks, and he tugs the back of Clint’s shirt just enough to get him to scoot backward and speak clearly.

“I said you’ll be there too,” Clint repeats, rubbing his thumb back and forth across Bucky’s side and making an effort to keep his eyes anywhere but on Bucky’s. “Designing costumes on Broadway. Having a meltdown every other day.”

“Exactly,” Bucky says, and Clint looks up long enough to give him a hesitant smile. “And on tech week I’ll gripe to you all night long and make you rub my feet.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Clint says, and his voice is too soft to be joking. Bucky leans forward to kiss him. Clint brings his hand up to Bucky’s face, brushing his thumb over his cheek while they lose themselves for a moment or two.

“It’ll be awesome,” Bucky says once he’s pulled away. “And all you have to do is pass one dumb Stats final. It’s all easy street after that.”

“No it’s not,” Clint says, but his face doesn’t seem quite as pinched with worry. Bucky shrugs one shoulder.

“Maybe not, but this is all you have to think about right now. And even if you don’t pass, which you will, Momma Barnes will be waiting at the train station, ready to fill that void of disappointment with cookies and brisket. They offer Stats over the summer. You can even get Bruce to help you study.”

Clint smiles a little easier and presses a kiss to Bucky’s cheek.

“Bruce offered to help me study earlier this week, actually.” Bucky raises his eyebrows at him.

“And you’re not taking him up on it? Bruce is pretty much Einstein. You know that, right? What are you doing in here when you could be getting schooled on Stats in the library?”

“Well, you’re here,” Clint says and Bucky just knows his smile goes all dopey at that. “And I think even Einstein would struggle with Stats after smoking that much weed.”

“You’ll study with him tomorrow though, right?” Bucky’s not going to let Clint throw him off that easy. Clint rolls his eyes, but he nods. “Steve invited us to get pizza tomorrow. I’ll pay, as a reward for studying.”

“Steve invited us, or Steve invited you?” Clint asks, scrunching up his nose. Bucky snorts, shoving at Clint half-heartedly.

“Steve invited us. To go out with him and his friends. I dunno why you hate him so much. He thinks you’re pretty cool.”

“I don’t hate him,” Clint says defensively, but he still shifts forward to wrap his arms possessively around Bucky. “I just want to make sure he knows that the position of Bucky’s Buff Blond Boyfriend is already happily filled. Also, fuck him. I’m really cool.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Bucky says. He’s kind of stuck in Clint’s steel trap of a hug. “It’s not like that. First of all, I don’t date grad students, and second of all we totally have more of a big brother-little brother sort of thing going on. I think he’s more into Tony, anyway.”

“Aw, gross,” Clint laughs, letting Bucky out of his death grip. “They deserve each other.”

“People probably say the same thing about us,” Bucky says. Clint grins at him, opening his mouth to share some kind of smart-ass response. A knock on the door cuts him off and makes them both jump.

“Do you guys have pants on?” Bruce’s voice comes through the door way louder than necessary. “If you don’t, sorry. Keep doing your thing or whatever. We’re starting a new Smash tournament, though, if you wanna join.”

“No, Bruce. C’mon man,” Bucky hears Sam say, and there’s the sound of scuffling feet like Sam’s trying to yank Bruce back from the door. “They’re probably having their own Smash tournament in there.”

“Bucky would have invited me,” Bruce insists, and Clint sits up with a laugh.

“We have pants on, Bruce,” he calls, and the door opens a moment later.

“Are you guys just sitting in the dark?” Bruce frowns down at Bucky, who’s still sprawled across the rug.

“Yeah,” Clint says, and then because he catches Bucky’s meaningful look, “Are you busy tomorrow? Think you could help me with Stats?”

“Yeah,” Bruce says, smiling easily. Bucky thinks Clint looks relieved, like he actually thought Bruce might say no. “We can go to the library.”

“Alright, Bruce.” Bucky stands up, offering a hand and hauling Clint to his feet too. “Let’s smash. I call the pink controller.”

[cowplant-pizza]

Strangerville Review

first of all, thank you to ea for giving me early access to this game pack through the game changer program. all of these screenshots have been presented to you by the ea game changers.

Ratings:

CAS 9/10

Build/Buy 8/10

World 9/10

Gameplay 7/10

Story 6/10

Overall 7/10

So I really want to be as honest as I possibly can with you guys. Game changers get a lot of stick for licking EA’s asses but I don’t see the point in lying to you all and singing praises that I don’t agree with so just know that this review is my own words and honest thoughts. Lets begin

You can see both cas and build/buy items here. Credit to @wildlyminiaturesandwich for this!

CAS

I loved the CAS stuff, well, most of it. Everyone was so crazy about those dreads but I just wasn’t feeling them! I love dreads and basically always have my sims of colour donning them, but I felt like these just looked a bit weird? They fell awkwardly around the face and it looked like someone had used some hairspray to give it volume but really failed?? Idk, thats my opinion. I know a lot of people really love them so Im not gonna shit on that but I just felt they could’ve been made to look a bit more natural and a lot less stiff. Apart from that though, and the awful swatches on the cowboy boots and the low rise jeans, I seriously adored the aesthetic of the cas stuff. I loved all of the female stuff and the male tops were to die for. It’s a shame males got less stuff again, some more army inspired clothes or even tattoos could’ve been cool here but we need to remember that this is a game pack and not an expansion. For a game pack, we got quite a lot of stuff in cas. It’s definitely a western style with a cowboy theme, so if you’re not a fan of that, you wont like the cas stuff.

Build/Buy

I’m not a huge builder, but when I do build, I love vintage stuff and clutter! This pack definitely gave us both of these things. The debug menu is chock full of clutter that will be used in loads of different places. The only complaint I have is a) the style is very scify and probably wont be used in a home b) certain items in the debug menu that are to do with the story (ie. a hazmat suit) is just a parcel in build/buy mode. I get why that is but… it would’ve been cool to have the actual suit to place instead of a tiny parcel that the suit would never realistically fit in lmao

World

The world is beautiful. It gives me huge ts3 vibes. It looks like Willow Creek and Oasis Springs had a baby. My only complaints for the world is that you will get infected/possessed sims walking around and ruining the realism for you and also that most of my favorite parts of the world (downtown) are just deco.

Gameplay

The new gameplay is directly linked to the story but I decided to do them as two separate things because I enjoyed the gameplay actions more than the story itself. The new interactions were super cute but very limited and very repetitive. After you’ve done it once and had a giggle over it, it will probably get tiring to do it again… and again, which is what the story expects you to do. 

Story

To begin with, I was having a lot of fun with the story, until I hit a bug for whatever reason and I couldn’t obtain an item I needed to continue. A lovely game changer helped me and told me I could purchase the item from the debug list buuuuut that doesn’t really fix the issue in the first place does it. The fact that I had to cheat to carry on really just ruined it for me tbh. The start of the story was new and quirky and it felt super fresh. It didn’t feel like I was playing the sims, but a side game of the sims. However as I progressed, I was constantly reminded that I was playing the sims, as Johnny needed to eat and sleep and poop ect. So I ended up cheating there too and turning off his needs cause I just couldn’t manage both at once. Maybe that’s because I was rushing to finish the story for you guys, but it did definitely feel like you had to choose one or the other. I also decided to quit his job right at the beginning because already his days were so busy I had no clue how on earth I would finish in time if he had to go to work to. So after the bug, you had to start doing stuff and requesting items from people. And heres the catch: you had to be good friends with them. This was taking honestly forever so I had to cheat in order to get their friendship levels up. I don’t want to spoil anything sooo SPOILER ALERT DONT READ THIS IN THE BRACKETS [when you vaccinated a possessed sim and asked them to come and fight mother with you, you had to be good friends with them so they accepted. this was SUCH a drag because you needed 15 spores and 1 fruit to make a vaccine so if they said lol thanks 4 curing me but nah i aint gonna help you just wasted an entire vaccine. so i ended up just using mccc to cheat their friendships up to max so they couldn’t say no]. I know even now that I will not be replaying the story unless I have to to get rid of the possessed sims in the world. I LOVE the world and I really do hope there’s a way (or a future mod) to turn them off because they are really distracting from every day sim life. 

Overall

If you wanna buy this pack for the aesthetics and items I would highly encourage it. I personally think the items alone give us enough content to make it worth while. However, as I have said, I do slightly feel like the storyline is forced upon you where as I think it should be totally optional. Not all of us like stories whereas some people love them and I think whoever we are we should be able to opt in or out of a piece of gameplay that we purchase. If you wanna buy it for the story only, I would… eh… I dunno what I’d do. I wasn’t overwhelmed by it. It wasn’t shocking or creepy as advertised. But it certainly was a fun new type of gameplay that I am excited to see them use in the future maybe with some other ideas!

I hope this made sense, I just sort of word vomited all of this down! Hopefully some one will find this review helpful lol

[thebigreylotheory]

My TLJ Review Part 2 or Lukey Thoughts

Alright, now that I’m over my Ahch-To Luke-like hiatus, it’s time to talk about Ahch-To Luke.

He’s exactly how I imagined he’d be:

A grumpy Pooh-bear.

Seemingly, unlike a lot of fans, I wasn’t disappointed by Luke’s role, portrayal, or amount of action.

‘Cause I had emotionally prepared myself for Luke to pretty much do nothing in The Last Jedi…(therefore him doing ANYTHING was exciting for me).

Why, you ask?

There are many parts to that answer. And I’ll try to organize this as nicely as possible, I did buy a new filing cabinet and all. My Rey and Kylo Pop Figures live there quite nicely.

A)I knew the time for the story to be solely about/focus on Luke Skywalker had passed. I’ll be honest, way back in the day (now), as a kid, I was disappointed that George Lucas decided to make prequels instead of sequels starring Mark, Carrie, and Harrison (I wanted more of what I knew and loved). As a creator, I respect what George wanted to do. However, fact remains, a bunch of time passed, and from a story sense all of our original main characters leveled up to the mentor archetype stage.

           1) I, by no means, see or read every SW interview, but on many occasions in print, tv, Youtube, Mark mentioned statements along the lines of “passing the baton,” and “it’s their story now [new kids]” (paraphrasing). He wasn’t just telling the truth from a certain point of view. He meant the action wasn’t going to follow him. I love J.J., but I feel like some fans, based on the TFA switch-a-roo marketing, felt like they were finally going to get a swoll-gym-Luke Skywalker. Or Bruce Lee.

           2) Mark also made several comments about being on the “if it tastes good don’t eat it diet,” not getting to eat his favorite crackers while watching movies, and being allowed to take his time on the stairs/hills of Skellig Michael. He’s human, he’s a prolific voice actor, not an action star (I type this while I’m eating cookies, don’t tell Dr. Captain McHusband, M.D. or he’ll lock me in the gym cave. “Kirby Fluff is my natural state” doesn’t work on him). Anyhow, this was a clue to me that Mark wasn’t going to be too keen on doing a whole lot of stunts. I mean, in comparison, Harrison had it easy in TFA. All he had to do is sit in the pilot seat of the Falcon and raise a blaster to make people happy. Lightsaber battles are hard (Dr. Captain McHusband, M.D allowed our battles to count as daily cardio until I broke his lightsaber. Oops, the dark side isn’t stronger, at least not in plastic.)

B) I knew there was no good reason for Luke to be stuck on Ahch-To. I had already reasoned either:

           1) After all these years, Luke’s plans still weren’t going so well, AND like a dummy he accidentally got himself stuck on Ahch-To. Which fans would have complained about (he has the Force!)…I can hear the Luke-is-still-a-goofy-farmboy cries from the Alternative Universe all the way in this dimension.

           2) He was hiding like a coward cause he didn’t want Snoke to “get” him. Prior to seeing TLJ, I thought this was most likely the case. For whatever reason, I assumed, perhaps, Luke didn’t want to be turned into a “tool” like his nephew. Maybe I thought Snoke was more powerful and Luke knew it. Something along the lines of he thought Snoke would tempt him Christ-in-the-wilderness style. But, the hole in the argument, I mean, what could someone give Luke that might have been better than ruling the galaxy with his birth dad?

           3) But, they surprised me a little by going grizzled, i-don’t-care-anymore, shut off from the Force Luke. However, given the circumstances with Kylo, the death of his other students, from his perspective letting down Yoda as a teacher, it was the most realistic approach in IMO. Not sure if there are therapists in the SW universe. (Or how much hugging Ewoks would really help.) What else would a failed, depressed character do to deal?

C) I knew he needed to change as a character. Else, there wouldn’t have been an interesting character arch. For me, it would have been hard to suspend my belief if he was the same person from, guessing, thirty something years ago. (Look how much Obi-wan changed!) I always loved Luke, but I know a lot of people prefer other characters in SW (Han, Vader, Lando) because they saw Luke as a young, naïve, goody-goody. He blew up the Death Star, faced his father “The Chosen One” most-powerful-Jedi, and the Emperor…what was left to change and challenge him? I think his own pride in having done all that was a good place to start. Even from the beginning he was “I’m Luke Skywalker” and later in ROTJ, “I am a Jedi.” 

Which seemingly showed a lot of pride as a trait (IMO Han didn’t run around saying “I am a smuggler!” with the same gusto). So, I do think Luke having to face himself, and the fact that Luke Skywalker failed, was the last, best villain he could have. 

And in the end, he wins. He helps, because that’s what Luke Skywalker does.

Other Lukey movie thoughts:

I’m sure this lightsaber toss was a little disappointing for Luke…I know the last time he tossed the lightsaber there was a scramble of eligible students vying to get it. But you know, superior Skywalker blood skills and all, Ben caught it.

AND I know if Rey doesn’t fix and then toss the lightsaber at the end of Episode 9, im-gonna-be-disappointed, cause tossing the lightsaber is a Jedi tradition when they don’t need it anymore, ya know?

Anyhow, back on topic, I actually laughed (I think I was the only one) when Luke threw the lightsaber away.

Interestingly, I’ve seen some heartache over this, as some fans believe that Luke wouldn’t disrespect his father that way. I think that gets into interesting territory over if one is more of a OT or PT fan…I know it was Luke’s father’s, but I always saw it more as Luke’s. 

And I dunno if Luke could be described as sentimental over objects…that’s seemingly Kylo’s trait.

And just like lightsabers, first Luke had blue milk, now he has green. I’m actually kinda shocked other fans aren’t more upset that Luke is robbing some poor little sea calf of his dinner. 

Or how untidy he’s become. Aunt Beru taught him to keep his face clean, even on dirty ole Dagobah.

Overall, I was happy with his reunion with Chewie, the Falcon, R2, the holo-clip of Leia from ANH, and his lessons to Rey. Although I am very much looking forward to the deleted scene of the third lesson and deciding if its deletion was a good or bad thing.

I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when Yoda showed up to have a little chat with Luke, troll him and give him some advice at the same time. And it’s good advice. The sort you could play on repeat when you’re having a bad day (do I hear a new bad lipsync yet???)

Finally, I guess the only other elephant in the room, is Luke choosing to stay on Ahch-To instead of leaving with Rey.

I admit, in theaters the first time, I was a little, “Ah, Luke, come on, help already, don’t be that way grumpy Pooh bear” about it. But not devastated, cause I reasoned this was a plot device, so someone could be left to save the other heroes later on.

Also, if Luke had left with Rey, we would have, IMO, gotten into repeat ANH and TFA plotlines, aka mentor character runs around base-like setting with newbies. (Or even, possibly TPM with mentor character and apprentice chasing baddie into a corner like area, only to have mentor die.) It might have been cool, but I’ve yet to see a description of this scenario that I like better than what actually happened in TLJ or one that doesn’t rob Rey of scenes or power as a character.

At the end of day, I like the miraculousness of Luke’s return on Crait. ‘Cause for me, as a spiritual person, it means, if you boil down Luke Skywalker as a character, he’s still a Christ-like figure. I could probably write you a whole thesis on the comparisons of Luke appearing to everyone on Crait being similar to Christ appearing to his followers after the crucifixion (someone out there probably will)(Im-gonna-wait to write the thesis on Kylo being like Paul, I guess). But, yeah, it defied my expectations of what Luke would and could do. Especially if he knew doing so would possibly kill him. Definition of a true hero.

His “fight” (arguably final lesson) with Kylo, even though they never really lock blades, takes my breath away. I didn’t think SW could top the snow fight in TFA, but now I’m tied with the Praetorian Guards for *fangirls* “the good parts” (aka the scenes I will lazily watch over and over on Youtube ‘cause Bluray startup is just too many seconds to wait).

Yup, I did tear up a bit when Luke fades away. But, honestly, I couldn’t have imagined a better, more peaceful way for Luke to go. In ANH when he first looks into the double sunset, I always had this feeling that he was searching for something more. To end his character’s journey with the same double sunset, really felt like that search was over. It was perfect.

But, I got a feeling seeing Force Ghost Luke is going to be pretty cool *wink wink*.

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

Okay well, that challenge was a fucking bust. LMAO. I should’ve numbered everything

I’m shook to have made it through the vote tonight. Like after being told the other day that Nicholas was going to go home, only to be blindsided and have fucking Rhone die, it was a shock that everyone stuck to their word for once. I’m starting to feel a little more awake in the game, too. Thankfully, I’ve got my hands typing away feverishly to everyone on the tribe as often as I can handle. I think that there are other people doing the same thing, but who knows for certain! I hear a lot that I’m the “only person who talks a lot of game with me”, so that’s an improvement from before already.

I’ve got to keep downplaying that I’m a big threat going forward. Nicholas left and said that he was gonna vote for me to win if I made it to the end, which I highly doubt is the case. I tried my hardest to attempt to clear the air with him and get him to at least consider other options on this tribe other than voting for me to go home. In that conversation, I tried to just make peace with him as a person but I dunno. I think that Nicholas doesn’t like me very much and according to everybody else, he had nothing but criticisms to say about me. He was my biggest adversary when I won my way back and I knew from the get-go he’d do whatever he could to fuck my life up. Now he’s gone and probably shit-talking me to Rhone so there’s another jury vote I’ve lost this far LMAO.

There’s no chance that I’ll win today’s immunity, unless of course everybody else fucks it up majorly. If I don’t win, I’d prefer Jack to win because I want to start to paint him as a bigger physical threat than myself so everyone can target him before me. As I said in my host chat, he and I have a final two agreement right now but the only way I can get there is if he’s dragging me along.

The plan for now is to just take out all the goats. So rip Lily, Toph (to an extent), Logan, and Madeline. I don’t want Ian, Kai, Jack, and Emily to think that they’re more important to take to the end than me because I’m trying to sell to everyone that I’m the perfect little goat to take to the end and beat because I’m an ugly returner with no fucking friends on the jury. I think that the jury is going to either hate or at least partially respect the game I played – so far, I’ve been really chaotic but I’ve calmed down a lot since the merge. Even though I played that idol on Ian, some people think it was a one-time use thing and others think it was a regular idol. I don’t need Jack on the jury finding out that it was a regular idol because he’ll NEVER respect the move I made with it and he was already super fucking critical of me for it to begin with.

Toph is so fucking messy, man. He voted for me after trying to get me to vote a certain way all afternoon. I understand why he likely did it, because he didn’t want to vote out Nicholas and Lily would be pissed if he wrote her name down. I think Lily needs to know that Toph was being really messy so she thinks about turning on him sooner than later. Honestly, if I can get all the other weaklings to turn on one another, that’d be perfect so I can ride it smoothly with the larger threats.

The way I see it, Emily and Kai are the two biggest threats in this game. Kai seems to be the one controlling everything, while Emily is the one who KNOWS everything; she’s voted correctly the entire game by my knowledge. She took out Rhone, turned on Nicholas, and yet nobody bats an eye at her. She hardly acknowledges me unless I acknowledge her first and everybody RAVES about how much they love her. Although my strategy of keeping the threats around is more realistic for my chances at just getting to the end, I know that I need to make some serious moves to still have the opportunity to win. If I can somehow take out and replace both Kai and Emily with myself, while coasting under the radar, I could potentially win. I dunno. I need to be smart and not emotional from this point on…

Relying on fact over emotion is really difficult for me. I am a really opinionated person and I often make plays based off of those opinions I form or hear from others. This is super dangerous to do because there is a risk that people don’t share your opinions. Objectively speaking, I can’t determine who the biggest threat to win is because we’re only at the final nine… but I can’t figure out who that biggest threat is without listening to the opinions of others! The whole setup of Survivor revolves around a big opinion everyone shares on who deserves to win. And there isn’t a whole lot you can do to change crazy people’s minds… we’re all crazy because we’re playing this game SOOOOO….. fuck!

I feel like none of my confessionals make any sense. I just want y’all to know that I need to get rid of Emily probably soonish because she’s a huge danger to me. I should be more selfish than I already am (if that’s even possible) and push that agenda onto everyone, but idk if everybody will take too kindly to me being a huge bitch to them about it.

JACK IS A SMALL LITTLE BEAN BUT SO HELP ME GOD IF THAT BOY INTENDED TO GIVE ME A DISADVANTAGE THAT BOY IS OUT OF HERE.

If I go home on this next vote expect fireworks on my last words in the game. Kai was the one that gave me the idol to use, Emily is the leak, Toph is just a pawn, Lily who even are you in this game? Jaiden good effing game, Madeline is irrelevant and Jack thinks he can control her, Logan says he has an idol, Jack says he has a super idol. Have fun yall.

i’ve been #flopping st confessionals recently (well i don’t actually know but anyway) so here’s a tea filled confession

i think i have figured out what was in the hippothias bedroom: a legacy advantage. all i know is that the room was empty when kai got to it, but using that knowledge, i just have to figure out who got whatever was in there. and i think it was jordan. jordan and i talked a lot about how to get into that room pre-merge and i’m thinking he got there first. when i asked what was in the room, he told me it was empty and that someone got there first, but he didn’t send a quote. i didn’t push him on it because i didn’t feel it necessary or smart at the time. kai sent me a quote, though. and something was gone. so! using my brain, i’ve decided jordan got whatever was in there. and i think the only thing he’d not tell me about being there (because we were very close before merge hit) is a legacy advantage, just in case he didn’t want to will it to me. and i don’t think he did. i think he willed it to jack. (just remember this is all me thinking hypothetically and could all be COMPLETELY wrong, but it is also me trying to justify voting out jack.) since madeline and jack are close now, i think there’s a good chance that jack would will the legacy advantage to madeline. and i would MUCH rather have madeline have the advantage than logan or lily or toph or jaiden. i just need madeline to fight hard for jack to stay this round to the right people (toph) and then one of the dudes and dames can throw their vote to lily. make it look like a fight was put up to keep jack in, but in reality there wasn’t. if madeline fights to keep jack then he’ll likely will the advantage to her rather than the people who voted him out. the votes will ideally fall like this:

5 jack: ian, kai, jaiden, logan, lily

3 lily: jack, me, toph

1 madeline: madeline (bc she got a self vote while searching the island lmao)

again, this legacy advantage may be nonexistent but STILL! if it is real, i truly did that. i came up with this all on my own and shit!!! look at me making moves and being cracked as fucc!

APARENTLY JACK IS SOREADING MY NAME AROUND AND ITS FUCKING CLOSE SKSNSJSNWJ THIS IS A MAJOR MESS A BITCH THOUGHT SHE WAS IN CONTROL HELLA TONIGHT AND JOW IT MIGHT T I E

GUESS WHO WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT HATING JACK BC THE BITCH IS SPOUTING MY NAME EVERYWHERE SJSJSJSJSWJWJ IM GOING TO CLOCK THIS FUCK

Everyone is lying to my fucking face and i am REALLY working hard to not be OTT right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emily u r not an OTT you are a CP stay calm BUT I CANT DUCKING STAY CALM

i feel very sad. kai was like my best friend in this game and seeing him go was the last thing i wanted. i would’ve gone to rocks for him. and then joseph had to play that fucking idol. and he didn’t even understand that my voting confession was a vine reference “keep my name out of your mouth or i’ll fucking rip your face off BITCH” like i’m so funny. anyways this is one of the saddest tribals yet. i miss kai and i’m going to miss going on call and making fun of his accent and making fun of weird british words. just making fun of kai in general. i’m just so upset kai was fucking robbed i didn’t even know he was getting votes! i thought it was going to be me. and i’m still here. but kai is gone. i’m fighting so hard for this immunity. i’m avenging kai. this is absolute bullshit.

I’m still convinced Jack has the legacy advantage even though I have no evidence to back that up

We had to lose a soldier, but we will win this war. Kai is being avenged. They have awoken the tiger. I’m mad. Logan, Lily, and Jack will get voted out if I have ANYTHING to say about it.

listen i know i have confessed like eight times already in the past hour but i am so upset. kai was fucking ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck the gay agenda.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 18 - Finale - “praying Devon's fricking cat was gonna knock him tf over” - Matt S.

Holy Fucken Potatoes. Those three rounds were crazy. That immunity challenge was fun but my dumb as was putting astrological instead of astrology but i got to the 4th clue. The youtube video pretty fast but Timmy was quicker and I was happy for him to win. Luckily we had a plan already set which was to target Cullan. It was a 4-3 vote which was suprising cuz thought it would have been a 5-2 vote. The 10 minute to talk was very awkward and weird but oh well. The challenge unscramble was soo hard and my paper looked crazy. Im happy i have immunity for this f6 vote but i feel sad and guilty for snakely taking it away from Timmy. He tbh deserves this immunity but spelling typo has handed it to me. Which im grateful though. Timmy is my ride or die in this game and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure he survives this round without being targeted and help us reach the final 2 together. Theres more tea but for now, Timmy knows that I have the cote steal and he is the only one that does. More info tomorrow.

I’m legit flipping my game upside down right now. Matt wants to go to final 4 with me, him, Timmy, and Maynor. which like sis are you TRYING to lose this game? Like even if we did that, why the FUCK would anyone vote for Matt over TIMMY? Obviously idk where the jury’s heads are at but..I have a feeling they’re not gonna enjoy voting for Matt right now. So I’ve decided to take this horse by the reigns (making red coats redder with blood stains) bc fuck it I’ve already beat my tumblr survivor placement and I know I’m not winning a F3 immunity comp, so if I’m gonna go down with this ship before FTC, I’m not going down without a fight. I’m working with Devon. I KNOW RIGHT?! Who knew? As of now I’m going to manipulate this so either Timmy/Chips leaves, OR we send it rocks and Devon uses his power to take one of them out. I know Devon wants to use his power because he thinks it’ll look like a big move at F5 to the jury, but sis if I tie the vote? And get you to use your power to my advantage? That’s my move. At least that’s how I’d look at it as a juror. In short, snake Madison, Lady Madbeth, any other nickname for my villain side that’s been given to me thus far, is coming out at Final 5. And it’s going to make or break my game, but I’m gonna have a BLAST either way. 

I cannot believe I've made it this far. A lot of us were expecting a live tribal, and I was in between plans to do either Chips or Cullan. I realized though in voting for Chips I'd be getting rid of someone I could trust over someone I couldn't trust at all. Sorry I screwed over Madison in the process but I had to do what I knew was best for ME. It's not pairs anymore unfortunately and a lot of my problems earlier had to do with allowing myself to be tethered to somneone else. It's an individual game and I have to do what I have to. I'm so glad Chips is here because he wants to do Timmy and so does Madison. He's definitely the biggest player here and I like him, but he's dangerous. It's just about convincing Devon to vote with us, which is something I consistently cannot do because Devon be a little cray cray and hard to reason with. 

It looks like the ‘majority’ should be voted Devon out. Devon should be voting Chips. Is that really gunna happen? I Don’t Fucken Know TBH. Devon said that Matt and Chips were voting for Timmy. Which means Madison will also be voting that way as well if its true. There is a whole lot of mess right now and Im hoping that Timmy doesnt go tonight. His my #1 and I would be 100% vulnerable the next couple rounds if he leaves tonight. Im trying my hardest to get the votes to stay on Devon.

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This is fucken nuts. Matt wants to take out Timmy for being a threat and Timmy wants me to use my vote steal to help him. Im trying to keep vote on Devon so Timmy would be able to stay. I need him here but also dont want Madison and Matt mad at me and vote me out 4th or 5th. I dont know what to do. I’m just ahhhhhhhh.

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Operation Save Timmy’s Ass. Is good to go. I was able to convince Matt that Timmy had an Idol. So plan is to ‘flush this fake idol’ but vote for Devon. The vote should end up being 4-2. I hope this works. I busts my ass for 3 something hours trying to save Timmy. Id be livid if it doesnt work.

So I’m probably going home tonight and it’s not lit. Of course I would be getting 6th, stay shook America. Maynor is too trusting for his own good I think, like I don’t believe Matt when he tells maynor that he believes maynor when he says I have an idol bc let’s be real...that’s just too convenient. But Devon does have the tie thing or does he but I know maynor has the vote steal. I want him to use it tonight but also I want him to save himself in final 5 if I’m not there because it’s his advantage and he deserves to use it to Hepburn himself. I just don’t want go to jury right now because fuck, I’ve been trying so hard in this game and it’s just the so close yet so far of it all.

Alright, so yesterday there was a live challenge that was a scavenger hunt. The first clue had you look at the astrology page and then solve a slide puzzle. For some reason no matter how slow I took it or how much I paid attention to detail my youtube video would not work. So I ended up not getting past that clue.

Timmy won individual immunity because I guess his video worked. And then we were told that there was a twistos twist where we had to vote without talking before casting the vote. Luckily for me Devon had already considered this eventuality and had already brought it to my attention that it was a possibility. The thing is that when he brought it up he didn't say anything else to my response. I assumed this would mean I was getting the vote for the night...

And, it did Devon and Cullan both voted for me with one person from the "other" group of Matt and Madison. I just went with my instinct and voted Cullan since I assumed he'd be most likely to get votes. And he did. After that we were told we would immediately move into another immunity challenge! This one was like a decoder for a line of words. I was figuring it out pretty good and then my internet decided to crap out on me... so I was trying to fix that so I could be on the hangout since I thought I had to be on the hangout to progress in the challenge - I dunno.

Anyway, whenever my internet came back it was announced that Timmy had won immunity! I was pretty much set at that point to target Devon as the vote since I don't think anyone wants to particularly vote for Maynor... ... then it was announced that he did in fact not win immunity and Maynor swooped in and claimed it!

So I kind of had it in my head that maybe this might be the round to vote out Timmy since he's showing (especially the last two challenges) that he could finish out the season in an immunity run. I think it's better to have the option of voting someone out if you want to as opposed to being forced to vote out someone else. Also there's the fact that he and Maynor have a tight final two and that makes very little space to budge for others. Anyway, I touch base with Madison (who is now speaking with me about stuff, believe it or not) and she admits that she was the third vote for me and that she had voted for me before Matt had changed his mind on a plan to vote me out. I thanked her for her honesty. Alright, so then Matt approached me asking what I was thinking for the vote and I decided that since he saved me and I saved him... that why not be honest with someone. I told him I was considering Timmy. And that I just wasn't sure how exactly to swing it. Then he let me know that he and Madison were down for that. So I was pretty shocked that a plan could work out. Then Devon started freaking out - he told me that he is going to vote for me. Then I get back online a bit later and apparently he's flipped his vote to Timmy. He wants to vote out Timmy because he thinks that Timmy and Maynor and I are in a trio and apparently (got this from Matt and Madison) thinks that I am going to be playing an idol so he feels safer targeting Timmy. And now Timmy is basically telling me to please not vote him.. and things are awkward because he's telling me all of this "I've never voted you stuff" and I'm really not sure he'd understand that I'm doing it for game reasons. But I don't want to tell him that I'm voting him because Devon's already done enough damage being extra I don't want to give Timmy and Maynor (by extension) a shot at it. Anyway.. if everything works out I guess Timmy gets a majority vote with four people voting for him? If it doesn't then we could see something wonky with people not voting how they've said. Maybe I'll be voted out this time? If I am I'd be really shocked but then kind of not... or you know, maybe somebody else entirely... like Matt or Madison? Or maybe some people in my "group" will lose their nerve and Devon? I guess tribal will be exciting regardless. Anyway, I think it's hilarious that Devon wanted to target me because he's sure I'll be winning this game whenever I'm sitting here in the knowledge that I can't.

TIMMY IS VOTED OUT

I am extremely sad right now. I lost Timmy in this game and him leaving knowing we cant talk like normal is ugh. I want to get Matt and Madison back for and send them home 5th and 4th but atlas that me being emotional. Im just shutting everyone out until i get myself back together.

This was a crazy round with the instant tribal then the immediate immunity. At first I felt like I had to get chips out, but in the end Timmy was the way bigger threat strategy wise. Chips definitely has the better story and the most adversity to get here but Timmy is good at immmunity and had Maynor as an extra vote every time. Last 5 just have to find a way to get to the end. 

This challenge is ugly. The only good thing is everyone is having trouble so hopefully im able to get points high enough to win.

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Welp. Never mind. I doubt my bs of a list will win me immunity. I suck at this challenge and i just hope it doesnt cause my vote out.

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It looks like its suppose to be Devon tonight which is alright with me. I just hope that it isn’t me going home. Ive made it this far and dont want to be cut short like right here towards the end. Matt said he would never vote for me so Im trusting him a lot right now that he’s going to keep me. Im just plain nervous right now. 

---

All this got crazy in the last few minutes. Its still between Devon and Chips so thats all I care about. And looks like Matt would be the target if he doesnt in immunity in f4. So i think im good for f3. Cross my fingers. I can make it.

Alright, so that immunity challenge with the massive amount of letters and discovering Survivor players turned out to be too much for me. So I flopped and scored a 1. I feel close with Matt so I think he won't vote me out and he's the one with immunity, so I guess technically the one who calls the most shots? Apparently he and Maynor already discussed it and they are going to vote Devon. So Devon was told that he is leaving and sent me a weird message about how I won a game of tug-of-war with him but that he is voting me to win the game if I am in the final tribal council. I told him I did not understand the metaphor...mostly because I have not been pulling at "the rope" and he has... three rounds in a row. I wanted to go to the END with Devon up until that "live no hands tribal" stuff. I'm pretty aware that I am at the mercy of all of the other players and if I make it through this round I have to do my best to find in-roads to have a guarantee that I at least get to do a fire making if I get to the final four. I let Matt know that I want to go to the end with him and hope that builds up enough trust that he will want to take me. I took that opportunity to openly admit that I know the negative view of me as a player and that I have no shot and he and I compared some of Devon's notes and how Devon thinks that I am the most threatening person in the end... for some reason. Also Devon let Matt know that in the chopping block order it would go me and then Matt - I'm not entirely sure how strategy factors into sharing that information given that he wants Matt to not vote him. Honestly, I'd be shocked if Devon was even actually voting me if I made final tribal council and is not using it as some sort of ploy to try and swing people to his side to get me out this round only. Excited to see if this round shakes out unanimously against Devon, if they vote me instead, or if an idol is played by somebody?? Or FOR somebody.

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. I dont know what to do. Devon just offered to be f4 boot if Matt wins immunity next round. I might take it up and vote Chips cuz he is a threat and then hopefully take out Devon next round.

---

This crazy as mess. But looks like itll be a tamed vote 4-1. Perhaps.

CHIPS IS VOTED OUT

Final Immunity Challenge is tonight and Im very nervous for it because I want to win it to make sure I’m in the final 2. If not Ill be very paranoid the whole time until the vote. I dont want to go home 4th when Im just one tribal away. I know Matt has my back and Madison made a promise but both of them have lied to me so they could easily be doing so now. I just have to try and win it for myself or I have to make sure it isnt me next.

Well here it’s the last shot to guarantee a spot in the final. Almost 2 months has come down to one night to ensure you make it to the end. I have to be honest when I saw the cast I was a little out of depth for myself. So many motivated individuals and so many chances to go home. But 20 people have gone before me and there are 4 left, it has been a journey for sure. So many people wanted this position and now I have to take it, or else it’s bye bye time. If Matt wins it almost guarantees him the finals win with his character arc. From having a majority and smooth sailing his allies went home one after another. He was at the bottom and he held on and eventually controlled the game at the end until last round where an hour before tribal I was going home. But I was able to convince Madison and Maynor that chips was the bigger threat and Matt went along with it. It’s been a ride and I sure hope it’s not over! 

Im literally hoping I can pull of a win for the last immunity. I just want safety for the last round. My heart is pounding cuz friend picked me up and he fucked stopped to sit down to fucken eat food in less than a hr before the challenge. I might die if he eliminates me from the this final immunity. 

Devon: was shot in the shoulder and can’t do a pressure cooker me: has muscular dystrophy and can’t do a pressure cooker. my game ends here folks

Tonight is the night and I literally just went to the bathroom just to make sure there are no bodily inhibitors to me succeeding in beating Devon (and hopefully everyone else) so that I can guarantee myself a spot in the F3. I have never ever in my life come this close and it's so so so crazy. I'm proud of the way I played and hopefully I won't have to start exploring contingency plans on what happens if fricking Devon steals a spot from the MMM alliance. I truly feel that it would be me going home. 

---

I swear to god I was sitting there, on the eve of my 2 year anniversary with my partner, praying Devon's fricking cat was gonna knock him tf over. Waking up and seeing Maynor won is an absolute ray of sunshine because I was SO worried it would come to a point where I would have to go to a tiebreaker with Maynor or Madison whom I love or just probably end up going home. Not to say there isn't still a chance that things don't go my way here, but I think it not only makes strategic sense to eliminate Devon, but also I just have faith in the bond I've formed with M&M that they will take me through to the final 3. From there, I don't know what will happen, but I can honestly say I'm proud.

I won the Final Fucken Immunity. Im so happy. It was my first ever doing an endurance comp. I wanted to give it my all and I was luckily able to win. Now what to do Madison, Matt or Devon? Matt has been one of my closest allies in this game. But he can be seen as the ‘leader’ of the endgame. Theres Madison who played kinda like me, only got 1 vote, and a huge social threat. Devon has been playing a lackluster game and idk if he would win but has friends in the jury. Gunna be a tough choice.

---

I have to go on a date today with a slight limp. Thanks for that you guys. 🙃 So it looks like Madison is giving me the power who to tell her to vote for. Im leaning towards Devon now because this comp performance was very good and could get peoples votes in the end. I feel like I can dismantle his game more than Devons.

Well this is is it, I should have tried harder in that challenge I just was getting so tired I was gonna pass out from being so tired. Now I am in the predicament where it’s me or matt tonight. The plan was since f6 for it to be me Madison and Maynor but I feel that slipping a little today. I really believe I will more than likely take another 4th place. I have done my plea and I do really feel matt will win in the end if he gets there. I guess I just couldn’t keep my foot in the game. 

DEVON IS VOTED OUT

Well. Matt stayed. I hope it was a mistake to keep Matt. I wanted out M&M&M alliance to be f3. Hope im able to gwt enough votes to win.

This truly could be the game that I actually win. I felt in the beginning that I was in a better mindset to play Survivor and that I had a good idea of how I was gonna play the game lined up. Of course that was thrown away almost instantly thanks to twists but I still kept the attitude. This game has been all about growth for me, finding idols, winning immunity, making genuine relationships with people, it's all new to me, and it's not the same person I was in Maluku, Ancient Greece, or even Solomon Islands; although this is the first game I've played on anti-anxiety medication so maybe that was the ticket for me. I can say with certainty that it's the best game I've played and that I truly believe I am the best of the three finalists, and maybe Maynor would agree with me considering he tried to pull a fast one on me AND blame it on Madison. All I can do now is present myself in the best way I possibly can, own my game, and hope the relationships I've built will get me the win.

I dont know if we need to do anymore of these but heres one. Maybe ill do one more. Idk. Its crazy that I made it to ftc. Do I have a chance of winning. I dont know but someone told me to be confident in the game i played and be proud. Im going to try and do that. Havent had much luck in these ftc. Im just happy I made it to the end. I hope i have a chance to win. 

[zora-moyashi]

First

<---Prev    Next--->

 Core

Shatter went through, they were in like a mountainous area.

ZM

"i just realized i don't know who we're going to meet." chara looks up at shatter questioning. she took a step without looking and slipped on some mud and slid down a small hill. she grabs some mud and throws it against a tree to make herself feel better before getting up.

Tonic's not in the backpack and loves the sights she sees. "this place is gorgeous" she hums smiling and puts her her hands on her cheeks feeling the liquid heat up.

Core

She saw one of the 'mountains' move, extending out into a wing, shaking the dirt off of it. The other mountains do the same, until one could see a giant star with 6 large wings, a tail, two jaws, and 4 arms.

ZM

"mmm gross" chara says looking at the amalgamation

"hey up there! can you hear me?"

Core

They turned, each of the wings had an eye on them. 'Yes I can', she said via telepathy

ZM

"pff, cool" she wipes off the mud. "is it loud in there? having 7 souls?" tonic sits on some grass and waves to the star.

Core

'No, most are dormant' The star yawned, moving in a circle before laying down.

ZM

"well aren't you just a bundle of energy." she chuckles. "okay well, this is shatter i don't know if you know her but i have a few thing's that i'd like to know if you could answer."

Core

'I'm all ears' The star said, it would make sense that since she was so big, it would take a lot of energy to move.

ZM

"cool~ first is how stars are made. as in do stars have baby stars? second when a soul shatters are they gone or not cause i keep seeing a ghost and i don’t know if i'm crazy or not. and third is how difficult is it for a human to be the one in control when there is a monster and human fusion.

ZM

tonic doesn't know about that list, seems unnecessary and has bad implications. they wonder if they're going to hurt others and if they'll have to fight chara.

Core

'Stars can have offspring, but most don't live to adulthood. for the second question, some can possess objects for a short period of time, and very difficult, mainly because Stars are more likely to be used to long fights and struggles, so they can outlast opponents.' Shatter sat by and laid down

ZM

"i see, not exactly what i wanted to hear."

Core

'well, any other questions?'

ZM

chara folds her arms and thinks 'hey i've got frisks soul, which is supper strong not to mention it's trait is determination. it's very possible that she could take control of a star due to that. '

"sure, how bout some outlaw stars. you got any cool news on them?"

Core

'Do you mean outcodes? or Genocide stars?' Omega asked.

ZM

"genocide"

Core

'Well, Night is still working with her little proxies, I recommend you don't tell shatter about that.'

ZM

"why's that?" chara asks

Core

"Because it's technically Nightmare's fault Shatter lost her sibling. Stars are very close to any siblings they may have, by nature of course."

ZM

"yeah? who was this sister of her's"

ZM

"i as well have no idea who this nightmare gal is so i'm just rolling with it. i know practically nothing and i wanna fix it " she nods curtly

Core

"Well, I will answer any questions you have, and Shatter had a brother, not a sister."

ZM

"ah okie, who was he?"

Core

'Well, his name was Jax, he was younger than Shatter, but not by much, he could turn himself invisible and make electric shocks, as for Shatter, well before Jax got well, I guess 'fused' with her, she was blind.'

ZM

"huh. so you're telling me shatter found her dead brother and g put a piece of him in her? that's kinda messed up."

ZM

"so what did this nightmare do to kill her brother?

Core

'well, her soulstone was so damaged, it was unstable, so gaster used some shards he had found. As for Nightmare, she is....corrupted, and knows how to corrupt others, she has a group of her 'proxies', and well, during a fight between Nightmare and her pawns and a different group of Stars, Jax and Shatter got caught in-between.'

ZM

she folds her arms "so gaster was there for the fight? interesting." tonic suddenly get's up and starts gathering purple flowers and draining the color from them, the green and red in her were very pale at this point "i read a file that said stars almost never grow to maturity is that because they fight that much?"

Core

'Yeah, that and when we are very young, we can get sick very quickly, some genocide stars are cannibals, like Nightmare and Vantablack, they won't hesitate to kill and devour a star kit.'

ZM

"im sure that's lovely to watch." she cringes. "you guys call some of them 'genocide stars. are you born with that title? and if not how did they get the title."

Core

'Well, they get the nickname because they won't normally leave any survivors, that and they tend to be more aggressive."

ZM

"you born that way?"

Core

"normally yes."

ZM

"you stars are strange. hold on i'll be back" she trots back up the hill and stands above shatter. "shatter why are you helping me?"

Core

"you know....I'm actually not sure." she smiled.

ZM

chara giggles before becoming more serious. "i appreciate it, and i appreciate your company. buuut...." she trails off looking to tonic for a second before deciding she doesn't want to think about the skeleton. "okay here's the thing. that star said you wouldn't want to go find nightmare and explained to me why. you might i dunno, hate me for saying this but I'm going to gather shards, (she's not being truthful here, she actually wants to find a nest with a lot of stars and take her pick from the children and train with it until she is confident she would control it if they combined) as well and mess with them. i really need this. sooo like if you don't want to help me anymore or if you want to fight me i totally understand. the star also said certain stars are born genocidal, and that doesn't seem like that's you." she fidgets.

Core

Shatter blinked bit, before sighing. "You're gonna get yourself killed, and you're right, I don't want to be part of that." Shatter said, getting up.

ZM

Chara quietly mumbled urgently and in an upset tone something like 'i shouldn't have told you most of that.' She looks up at shatter "you're right, you're so right. I'm going to die hundreds of times over and eventually be snuffed out for good. Stars are practically God's and I'm no such thing. I just have this itch that won't stop whenever I find a way to ...like.. improve. I guess

Core

"Not all of us are that powerful, I'm just special, and it seems you just have bad luck." Shatter said

ZM

She makes a quiet whimpering sound feeling at a loss of what to say. "I suppose I do." She grumbles. "There's no way of changing your mind on this right?" "They are dead after all right? It can't be that bad...? But what do I know about soulstones." She shrugs

Core

Shatter sighed, "Look, the most 'help' you are going to get from me with your plan, is that I will make a portal to Nightmare's realm, besides that, I won't help." Shatter said.

ZM

"hey that's more than i was expecting. I'll take it."

Core

Shatter opened a portal, "Good luck, I guess."

ZM

she takes a step to the portal before hesitating and looking up at shatter. "... can i have a hug?"

Core

"Sure." Shatter said, hugging Chara

ZM

chara's a little confused by shatter still, has a hard time reading her. "thanks," after they hug chara waves and hops through the portal. "see ya around," she turns after a salute and examines the area a castle to her right.

ZM

tonic heard the portal open and went to see what was going on, when she got there chara was gone. "what happened?" she questions

Core

"Chara won't be coming back..." Shatter said.

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