#and i didn't need to improve my reading ability

[neverendingford]

.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."

Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."

And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.

There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.

Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.

So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!

(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)

Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.

This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.

[necromosss]

💡BG3 Companions in Cyberpunk 2077 //AU

just a fun lil personal HC i did at 3 am. Read each's quick stories below cut!

Aight here goes, sorry for the mess

💡Gale being a netrunner on a borrowed time since his cyberware is eating himself alive. His fixer (while also being his ex-lover) offered only one solution to his demise; sacrificing his corrupted virtu to temporarily cripple the Blackwall

💡Astarion, once was a big-hit lawyer and disappeared for a decade, re-emerges as one of the left hand for a big name in politic circles. Rumor is this politician used a few trusted of his people to 'house' an important experimental cyberwear to later be taken back and improved…

💡Wyll, son of Mayor Ravengard. While father wishes for him to continue down the politics, Wyll thinks it's more of a direct help to jump down on the streets directly, thus becoming an Edgerunner. Rumor has it he had dealings with people within Militech that granted him techs

💡Shadowheart, One of Arasaka's top agent. Her, being under Arasaka's teachings and guidance has little to none care for her selfish needs--that is until she was disconnected from their mainframe. Tasting the freedom and truth of her past, SH wanted to uncover all of it

💡Laezel was trained, Sponsored and backed by the Militech, she aimed to be the strongest living weapon of all times. Though, things didn't go smoothly once her implant was caught malfunctioned. She aim to regain control of her might, and refrains from being thrown away by the megacorp

💡Karla was a bodyguard of an NC political figure, then was betrayed and sold to a megacorp as a subject of experiment, and eventually broke out from there. The tech she gained DID enhance her abilities, but at the cost of it overheating and eventually gave her health problems

and a little bonus, my own Tav

💡Mira's family had been loyal to Arasaka for decades, she had also fell into the corporation hole. Until everything fell apart, Arasaka revoked everything and her family ruined by the megacorp, she sought other ways of survival and making her own name in Night City.

And of course, my durge Ian who's probably far mor familiar to some of you in cyberpunk than in BG3..

💡Ian, an Ex-Netwatch Netrunner. Retired from NW due to a lifethreatening incident involving a megacorp and now he only netrun for his small group (with Zil & Fiona) to quietly plan revenge

[dexterousdawdler]

I got a Walkman after I already had a cd player because at the time you could get audio books on tape and it was my compromise to my teachers since I refused to read fiction.

[kaq3yma]

𝐊𝐈𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐓 how they'd react to your interaction with younger kids [wind breaker boys]

qeena's brief note: idk how i feel about this but you guys can probably tell how out of ideas i am because some words just get repeated many times (˵ˊᯅˋ˵) though i think i did excel in certains part huweee ₍ᐢ⸝⸝› ‹⸝⸝ᐢ₎ cus i lowk love how i write for hiragi and togame! ik its short, and some scenarios just seriously bad written but still, let me know what you guys think okie ૮˃̵֊ ˂̵ ა tell me if you guys love, hate it, or so-so. your comments (no criticism pls T T) will really, really help me improve my writing skills! request is very much needed at this critical time. thank you sm sayangsss and happy reading xoxo 🌺.

桜 遥 🌺

Given Sakura Haruka somewhat rough exterior, he might initially try to act indifferently if he saw you with kids. However, behind that oh-so fake facade, he is quite reserved and attentive towards your behavior. When he see you interacting effortlessly and affectionately with younger kids, it might makes him all a blushing mess. He, though he won't admit it, loves to see you with them, especially that one time where a kid accidentally drop her candy to the ground and you didn't hesitate to scoop her up and soothe her.

"..., ...Ru, Haru!" You yelled, awaken him from his train of thoughts. Sakura notice beside you there's a boy, a boy that oddly looks like him except for a different hair color. The boy's hair is ash black but his eyes, it's eerily reminds him of himself. They're gold, almost orange "I do not look like him, I'm much handsome!" The boy protested, causing both you and Sakura to look at him, bewildered. The small boy look at Sakura in disgust, and hide behind you.

"Why did you say, brat?" The boy cling to you, scared because Sakura was reaching for the back of his shirt. And it's safe to say, they're running and chasing each other around for the rest of the afternoon.

蘇枋 隼飛 🌺

If Hayato Suo saw you with younger kids, he would react positively and be genuinely amused. He find it endearing and heartwarming to see you being caring and nurturing with children, but still, knowing his teasing and slight playful demeanour, he would probably still remark with a hint of humor, calling you "mother" to tease you.

"Now, oka-san, what are you going to play today?" You glare at him, slapping his arms playfully making him laugh. You turn to the bunch of kids in front of you as they frantically suggest what to play for the day. When everybody decides on police and thief, they all ganged up on you to become the sole police catching a bunch of mousey thieves. Suo sat by tree, watching you play with the children, running and pick them up when you catches them.

Overall, he would find the situation charming and cute.

楡井秋彦 🌺

Nirei Akihiko is as good as you are when it comes to younger kids. At first, he might find it slightly unexpected but would quickly find it heartwarming to see you being affectionate with them. The both of you would often visit the park to watch the neighbourhood kids playing at the playground and naturally find youselves included in their plays. You wouldn't count how many times Nirei fall flat on his face during the plays because it's a lot but nevertheless, the kids find it funny, not pathetic, not at all, just purely funny.

One time, all the kids hide from this one particular kid, both you and Nirei are hiding inside the slide thinking, perhaps it's the best hiding spot there is but boy, how wrong you are. The mini seeker aka the chubbiest boy in town search for anyone on top of the slide and being a lazy boy he is, he decided to use the slide instead of the stairs to get down and boom...! Both you and Nirei on the ground and the boy on top of you.

桐生 三輝 🌺

When Mitsuki Kiryu saw you interacting with younger kids, he would react in a calm and warm manner. Knowing his gentle nature, it's likely would make him admire your ability to treat children with kindness but please, don't ever expect me not bite back when certains mini snobs goes around and mocking you, he would say something, anything, true but hurtful that will make them cower and run with snots hanging from their nose.

And everyone knows he might address his admiration subtly by smiling warmly or making a brief comment on how well you interact with kids. He just so appreciate the beautiful interactions.

"Kiryu, it's your turn..." He look at you, blinking away his confusion. He cough awkwardly and pick the same story book from your hands to read another story to the children circling you both.

"...The end, now you guys should go home." He leave no room for argument before he left the book to one of the kids and drag you. Now he can you for himself.

柘浦 大河 🌺

Tsugeura Taiga is like Nirei but unlike Nirei, his enthusiasm to play with kids will include a bit of aggression, just a bit... When he realizes how undeniably good you are with younger kids, he gets giddy and energetic because he love kids! They're so innocent, doe-eyed and and adorable!

He loves the fact that you're not so different than him. Your interaction with the kids spark an excitement inside the pit of his belly. When you playfully chase after the kids pretending to be a monster, Tsugeura would join in gladly, taking two to three kids in his arms and run after you "Let's catch that pretty monster!"

It's a fun afternoon when you're outside, not at home, usually weekends, with Tsugeura and the kids, at the park, playing.

梅宮 一 🌺

Hajime Umemiya is well aware of how good you are with kids. Right from the moment he first met you, he knew how caring you are with children, especially toddlers above threes. He met you when he visited his old foster home and there you was, helping a child on three-tired bike as you helped her by pushing her bike from behind. It's truly a sight to behold.

Even after both officially date each other, the amazement does not cease, if anything, it's expanding.

You both are at the grocery store, picking out candies, snacks and junkies before dropping by the foster home like usual. Umemiya went to the dairy section to get you and himself a drink but when he gets back, he sees you, tiptoeing to grab a bag of candy, presumably for the little girl next to you "Ume-chan, please help!" He laughs, heading to the rescue and help you get the bag of candy for the little girl.

If had you turn around fast enough, you'd see the way his eyes form to heart-eyes when you stroke the little girl's hair and bid her.

柊登馬 🌺

Hiragi Toma's usual serious expression softened ever so slightly as he observed you engaging with younger children. He might have quietly watched you for a moment before making a casual remark, something like, "I didn't realize you had such a nurturing side." He even found it a refreshing change from your usual behavior. The way your lips tug ever so-slightly when kids goes around to you to tell you about their days and the way you laugh when they tell you funny stories is a beautiful sight to watch, honestly.

Hiragi just finish patrolling the town and now on his way to your work place, the good-even-when-it's-cold pastry shop. However, just as he's about to enter, a boy, probably around six, beat him to it. The boy almost sprint to you who's behind the counter and he was frantically handing you out a paper. Hiragi watches the brief interaction unfold before his eyes with a small smile on his face. When Hiragi enters, the boy yelled in enthusiasm "Shark-chan!" He look back and forth between you and the boy, confused, until the boy show him the paper he initially handed you.

It's a sketch, an absolute hideous yet intriguing sketch of him and you, standing next to each other. His teeth showed as he smile brightly in the drawing "Pretty-chan gave me a picture of you to draw this!"

梶 蓮 🌺

Ren Kaji dont like kids, especially toddlers around the age of eight to twelve. They're self-centered, immature and loud. They're also brutally honest which, sometimes, hit a nerve in the easily-annoyed man causing him almost to go berserk.

So when he saw you, the purest angel, the kindest soul to interact with his most sworn enemy, he almost went into a shocked-and-freeze state. Kaji also can't help but notice how attractive you look. He think he likes that side of you, that not-so foreign caring side of you, though he didn't really appreciate that side of you towards them.

When you saw Kaji across the field, you yell at him to come to which he did, begrudgingly. Unexpectedly, when he stop around, all the kids enthusiastically wave at him. Their smiles, damn, it struck him straight to the heart. His usual annoyed face falters as he look away, pretending to be irritate. You giggle, gesturing him to sit down beside you.

Before a quick matter of time, Kaji softened up around the kids. He may not seem like it but he's very attentive, listening to them with a pretend-disgruntled face "They're... Not so bad,"

十亀 条 🌺

Togame Jo love your interaction with kids, only if they're not the annoying kinds. A stark contrast to his usual laid-back and tough demeanour, his expression often wavers to the sight of you with kids. But despite all that, he might have to make a sarcastic comment, saying something like "I'd never thought I'd see you playing the caring babysitter?" while still trying to maintain his cool expression.

"Hey, brat, don't give my girlfriend a hard time, okay?" His tone appear neutral and chill but that makes the kid cower in fear, nodding his head in an anxious manner.

He'd laugh when you smack his back, telling him not to scare the kid. He smile, giving you a quick pat on the head whilst one hand taking a sip of his cold ramune drink.

"Your Kame-chan is just worried for you!~"

兎耳山 丁子 🌺

Choji Tomiyama has that hate-love relationship with younger children. Love because they're similar to him, cheerful, overjoyed and giddy. He love that even their way of thinking is similar. Him and kids, both think it's preferable to eat candies rather than actual food and hey, they're also on the same heights!

But... He also hates them because they're clingy and that's a bad thing because he is too. They're not sharing you with him but neither would he. Nevertheless of his slight hatred of them, he still love that you're attentive towards the group of children, very kind and gentle and he thinks you look so cute when you explain to them something in detailed like when they asked you; "Why is the grass wet?"

"Because it was raining."

"Why was it raining?" And you'd just tell them because it's sad and they'd ask you why it's sad so you just answer and answer their questions until they're tired.

"You wouldn't answer like that when I ask you though?" He pouts, dejected because he thinks you're being biased "They're four, Cho."

"I'm four too... mentally."

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 is open. all rights reserved goes to @kaq3yma on tumblr.

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[lexirosewrites]

Idk if ur gonna see this in time for slick sunday this week but here goes: a/b/o high fantasy might b my fave genre so ofc tht means I have a steddie brain worm abt it

Steve is the adopted omega son of the villages midwife, Claudia Henderson. She found him abandoned in the woods as a baby, an unfortunate but common practice for omega boys sometimes.

Their small village isn't far from the capital of the kingdom of Hawkins which is how the news of the summoning reaches their ears within days. The former king was cruel to be sure, and power hungry like he needed it to breathe. So he thought to strengthen himself w the help of a Demon, only he didn't read the fine print & got killed by said Demon & now the Demon is ruling Hawkins bc of right of conquest. Nothing changes drastically overnight but over the course of a year things improve in the kingdom of Hawkins. Their new king was cruel to his enemies but a fair & responsible ruler to his subjects. He established public education efforts for one thing, and opened up the knights ranks to commoners for another. Steve's life didn't change much, he still watched his baby brother & made his family their meals because Claudia was busier everyday tht spring approached, nothing rlly changed till the decree went out.

Tht all unmated omegas of a certain age range were to go to the royal palace for the celebration of their new kings first year of rule, where he will meet them & choose one of them to be his Consort.

Steve goes purely because it's a royal decree & he doesn't expect to make it very far anyway: male omegas r rare sure but they're not considered as fertile as a female omega & in a battle for the throne the ability to guarantee their king an heir must be key. So Steve goes & when he gets to the castle he's bustled in w all the other omegas into one room then this little blonde woman walks out, calls out certain names, & tells those ppl to leave. Steve is not told to leave. They're each given a room complete w a nesting frame & mattress (something tht is fancy to Steve who grew up in a village) as well as nesting materials. They're informed tht the king has scented a handkerchief for each of them to add to their nests. Sure enough atop all the blankets & sheets & paraphernalia is a simple white handkerchief tht smells like the smoke from the fire in his small homes hearth in Loch Nora with a hint of sweetness not unlike maple syrup. He sets abt making his nest to his standards i.e. comfort, comfort, comfort. He tucks in his adoptive mother's cotton headband she wore when working & his baby brothers knitted hat then can't decide where to put the kerchief from his king so he falls asleep holding it to his nose

ANYWAY THIS GOT LONG

So Eddie meets Steve & they fall in love & Eddie doesn't necessarily need heirs but he does need a mortal mate to tie him to this reality more solidly so he was planning to simply choose whoever wasn't repulsed by his scent bc to humans his scent is largely sulphur except Steve doesn't smell sulphur in Eddie's scent this can only mean one thing: Steve is the Demon kings soulmate

ofc Steve gets pregnant after they spend his heat together & he has a cute little half Demon baby w his doting Demon mate

royal au, demon eddie, soulmates!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[oracleofdiscord]

#holy shit this is like. such a good thing to point out

#bc we NEVER FIXED THE WIZARD PROBLEMS#WE FIXED ADAINES PROBLEM

#SHE GOT RICH AGAIN#BUT WE LEFT THE SYSTEM INTACT!!

(tags via @kipperlillyforpresident)

#i do get the canon though like even though it was supposed to be a bit i think about

#the girls in my hs spanish class who were from DR and spoke spanish every day w each other and at home

#and they weren’t great at spanish class! bc it was hard for them to articulate Why they were saying what they were saying

#it just made sense to them

#so i can definitely see jace being like i Know magic and i know that i’m good at it. but when you ask me to put down on paper how to cast

#a spell i can’t just put it into words. i just Do it

(tags via @t4tozier)

i guess it’s supposed to be canon that jace failed taking levels in wizard because it was too much work or he’s just not smart, which is fine i guess, haha very funny but have we considered the narrative parallels if it was actually because jace was (and still is, on a teacher’s salary? lbr) a broke bitch who couldn’t afford barrels of diamonds much like adaine??? have we considered that jace is a struggling artist turned grade school teacher because he didn’t have the money to invest in higher education? this man took online courses at his local community college and still somehow is buried under student loans. of course he went evil.

[soaringwide]

PAC: What is the current situation of this job and where is this leading you?

[ko-fi extended: What shift to make to improve your situation?]

PILE 1 > PILE 2 > PILE 3

In today's readings, I'm going to take a look at your current job situation, as well as where this is leading you.

In the ko-fi extended, I'll take a look at what shift you can do to improve your situation, and we'll see if it has to do staying in the same spot and do things a bit differently, or changing job or career altogether.

Keep your situation in mind when selecting a pile, and, as always, remember that this is a general reading meant for multiple people and that not everything might resonate, so take it or leave it and remember you are the one who makes the final decision.

If you like my style, feel free to check out my paid readings on ko-fi or the link bellow.

Link to part 2 extended on ko-fi.

book a reading ★ all PACs ★ pinned post ★ instagram

PILE 1 - Black Horse Head

Cards: Queen of Wands, 7 of Wands, Temperance, Forgive, the Moon, Strength, Love, Nurture, 5 of Swords, 6 of Pebtacles, 8 of Swords, Dreams, Let Go, Jealousy, the World, 6 of Cups, the Emperor, Slow Down, Trauma, Acceptance

Current job situation

This job represents a lot for you, in the sense that I can see that you had to struggle a lot to get where you are currently. This position didn't fall on your lap on its own, you had to fight for it, learn resilience and work towards it patiently day by day. It made you a very ambitious and driven person. I think this is also somewhat healing for you to be where you are, in the sense that you it's correcting the wrongs of your past. Perhaps you thought you would never achieve it, but then you did, and it makes you confident in your abilities and yourself in a way that you weren't before.

I think some days might be harder than others, some days you might need to compromise in order to keep the peace of the situation, be compassionate and see things from a wider perspective in order not to get caught into petty drama, but overall, I think the situation is pretty positive, although not perfect by any means. For one, I don't think your situation is perfect on the financial side of things, as I see a lack of signs for that for you right now, or perhaps it doesn't offer you enough ease or stability as you might need.

How does that make you feel

I think you enjoy what you're doing in this job and that it really makes you feel like you're growing skill-wise and nurturing yourself professionally. Perhaps it's giving you opportunities to do so, or perhaps simply the job itself pushes you to improve constantly due to the tasks and challenges you are facing. There is this idea that it's making you more refined and more experienced at tackling whatever you need to do at your current job.

However, there is something bubbling under the surface, and I'm getting the idea that you might fear stagnation at some point. You might be wondering if it's all you can do and if there is not something else that could help you grow even more. It might partly be a financial concern too. Perhaps you feel like you could earn more for what you do, or receive more success and recognition than you currently have.

What are you thinking about

Here it's quite interesting because while your feelings where pretty positive overall, you are thinking a lot more critically about this situation.

You think you are a bit stuck at the moment and can't see where things could go from here. It's like, yeah I'm here handling things amazingly, but what more is there for me? Am I giving more than what I receive? Am I getting the short hand of the stick and losing on some benefits? You're wondering if you should let go of this, comparing what you have to what others have and dreaming about what your life could be like in a different setting. It's creating some resentments and making you wonder if you should do something about your situation. It's also like after all you've fought, the dust has settled and now your fighting spirit is looking for the next battle, but going round in circles not knowing where or how to direct this drive, making you feel a bit caged in.

To be more clear, it's like yeah my situation is not too bad, but check what others have elsewhere and that I could get too, isn't that tempting? There is a hint of jealousy here, which is not necessarily a bad thing because it can be a powerful driving force, but yeah it does indicate a tendency to compare yourself to what you see around.

Where is this situation leading you?

There will definitely will be a point where a chapter will come to an end, and you will have to make a choice.

There is a desire for new financial and professional opportunities, the need to grow on that front and improve your conditions. But I think it's not a simple choice and that it will feel quite overwhelming and hard to make. I'm thing that could happen, is to take on more responsibilities, either with a higher role that gather more recognition, or a leadership position.

However, this will require some personal sacrifice on your part that you might not feel completely at ease to make and may be quite painful too. While that happens, you may start to feel like you want to focus on simpler things, a sweeter life that allows you to slow down and really appreciate the little things and rekindle with joyful times and a more carefree mindset. It's entirely possible that when this opportunity to climb up arise, so arise the doubts and the need to take things easy, so it will be complex to navigate.

In the extended for you Pile 1, I'll look at what shift you can make in your career to improve your situation. Head over here to see (membership needed).

PILE 2 - Orange Fiery Horse

Cards: The Moon, Creativity, 8 of Pentacles, Change, Queen of Wands, Sorrow rx, 9 of Swords, Love rx, 2 of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, King of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, Healing rx, Knight of Swords, Ace of Swords rx, the Fool, the Tower, King of Wands, Justice, Queen of Cups, the World rx, Knight of Cups, Protect your Feelings

Current situation

I can see that you're working hard, not only simply to do your job well, but also to sharpen your own skills in order to prepare you to expand professionally. I see you being drawn to changing something and throwing yourself in the work even more so that you are fully prepared when this time comes. You want your work to shine for you, to show what you're capable of, and transform your life as a ripple effect.

There was a time where you didn't feel confident in your abilities, you used to feel less-than, unworthy even, might have been a late bloomer professionally who took longer than others to find their stability. This was not an easy space to be in and created a lot of emotional and mental pain. I see that you've overcame that though and are now standing much more confident and optimistic. Yet this left a mark on you and I think, you still hold the shadow of your struggle close to your heart and I think you haven't totally left this shaky, survival mode totally.

Because you're currently quite confused about where this job or career is leading you. I think that for some of you, this career requires you to use your creativity in some way, and I see that you may be wondering whether your creative skills are best used here or perhaps are wasted a little bit. There is this idea that you might dim your creative light a bit when applying it to the tasks, working rather than creating. Would make sense if it talks about a creative job that is different from what an artist does. I think you're wondering if it's the right path.

This is making you doubt everything, seeing all that you are lacking, pressing on your old and current wounds. You might be falling out of love with what you do and this is causing immense pain, you might have trouble sleeping or a sleep schedule out of whack at the moment. You're thinking a lot about what is happening, what could go wrong, and above everything what is missing from your life. I really get a passionate, creative person who see things on a big scale and is feeling frustrated with the current situation.

What are you feeling

Here the idea of time and fate comes very strongly. It's like you've been waiting and waiting for your moment to shine to come, and you can feel things could take a turn soon. I think you desire to feel in tune with yourself and the world, to feel like what you do matters and help make the world a better and more harmonious place. Success is desirable but I don't think you're necessarily after that, it's more about meaning and purpose, passion and personal accomplishment here. You want to merge your soul with what you do, and you haven't been able to do that yet.

You have high goals and you know you can go after them, it's just that it's like it's behind a thick wall and I see you growing frustrated by how long it's taking. You're not an impatient person, on the contrary, you've proved time and time again that you were resilient and patient, going after your goals one by one, step by step, and harvesting what you could when it was time.

I also see that this feeling that things are about to shift feels like the last piece to your healing, which is currently a bit at a standstill due to your external circumstances. It's like you feel a bit stagnant, again waiting for an opportunity, anything to confirm what you feel inside.

What you're thinking about

Here, first, there is the thought that you need to do things now, that you can't wait anymore. There is a sense of urgency here and a restless energy making you look for something, anything to get out. A crack in the wall to pulverize and escape. However, there is a lack of clarity, and it's like you're splashing water, going round in circle in your head, hurrying without knowing what you're doing or where to direct your energy. You could be trapped in a vicious cycle of picking up projects and letting them go very regularly, because you feel this pull to do something and you follow the excitement, but then there is that lack of clarity regarding where to go with that so you drop it and jump onto the next thing.

You're also thinking that in order to reach that point where you can embark on that new journey towards your true passionate and unique path, you need to throw a big kick into what you currently have. You want a clean slate, you want to break free and be able to walk lighter towards something better. I can sense a lot of mental restlessness again, perhaps even some aggressiveness and desire to burn the bridge behind you. You're tired of feeling like a caged animal and I see you going on in grand discourse in your head about how you don't agree with this situation and how it's tying you up and how you're not meant to live that.

Where is this leading you

Okay so this section assumes that you're staying where you are.

In case you don't leave or change path, I see you taking on more responsibilities and challenges within you current role. Putting your foot down and asking to reposition what you do to do more of what you need and less of what you don't. Rebalancing things in a way, improving your situation while not making a drastic change. This would allow to sooth the tension a bit and allow you to expand in a way that you wish within the same role. Could also mean taking more of a leadership role for some of you.

However, I don't think it will solve anything on the emotional satisfaction side of thing. I think you will still get caught dreaming about what other amazing thing you could do and how that would make you feel so much more fulfilled. You may still feel like you're achieving nothing here, feeling stuck on a phase that you can't get past, still waiting for that turn of events. This may make things turn sour down the line, despite your efforts to ease the tension.

In the extended for you Pile 2, well take a look at how to shift things, especially when it comes about NOT stating where you are, and what it could look like and could bring you. Head over here to read it in my ko-fi memberships.

PILE 3 - Horse Couple

Cards: 2 of Pentacles, Ambition rx, Unknowing, 5 of Swords, Resentments rx, 9 of Wands, Overwhelmed, 10 of Pentacles, Anger rx, the Hanged Man rx, Anxiety rx, the Tower, Courage rx, 2 of Pentacles, Nurture, 7 of Wands, Relieved rx, 5 of Cups, Wounded Heart, the Star, Happiness, 7 of Cups, the Hierophant, the High Priestess

Current situation

Your current job situation seems very unstable in the sense that it seems to be the source of a lot of tensions, if not straight up full of conflicts, but also because you don't see how it could provide you with opportunities for personal growth. I want to say something like "it cut your wings", as if it rendered you unable to go after your dreams because you just had to follow that path in the past. You do know that things are possible, but the darkness you see is so thick that you can't pierce through it. And all the things happening at work make everything worse because it is so draining. You keep everything on the inside to stand strong in front of what is happening, but it's no use and it keeps bubbling up to the surface anyway. I can sense a lot of repressed anger, intense frustration due to the fact that you are currently unable to build something worthwhile for yourself. There is a glaring lack of positive feelings in your reading, as if they were all drained out. The only things remaining are the sharp words storming around you, the burns of the battle fought every day, and the shaky ground upon which you can't build anything.

What you're feeling about that

With the Hanged Man in reverse, I think you don't feel ready to leave though. You are scared to take a risk that could prove worse than your current situation, and even if you know that not trying anything will not result in any new opportunity, the fear of failure and rejection is keeping you stuck. I think you have trouble facing those fears and you're pushing them down, preferring staying in your comfort zone even if that means not changing anything. You feel things are about to go up in flames, or you already living it, but you'd rather see it through than moving before it's time. It's like you feel that as long as you're not facing a pile of ashes, you won't feel like it's time to move on, strangely.

What you're thinking about

I do feel that the thought of what lies ahead is present in your head though. The desire to plant a new seed somewhere else and tend to it. However you're still doing it in the rotten comfort of your current situation, hiding behind a wall of foggy plans where you don't have to take any actions because it's all in your head at the moment. You feel worried at the thought of getting out there and confronting the obstacles that will stand in your way. Perhaps even you're imagining them worse than what they could be, the worse possible scenario before you've even attempted anything. You focus on everything you would be loosing instead of seeing that you actually need to drop a lot of things off, that it might not be such a bad thing in the end considering your current situation, and that you are not actually losing everything, you still have a lot on your side. It's like a very anxious and neurotic attachment to your current circumstances. You know it's not good yet you feel like it's going to be the end of the world if you lose it, unable to imagine something else.

Where is this leading you

So if things stay as they are, I see you continuing this cycle of indecision, deluding yourself and refraining from making a choice, which in itself is a choice, you know, until things become so tense within you that you are forced in one direction. There is a choice to make though, and it's between two things:

One, keep playing by the rules, saving face and keeping up appearances in the hope of being granted what you deserve if you play the game right. Waiting for grace to finally be bestowed upon you, like a prayer answered. It has to do with following a structure, climbing the ladder or entering a contract or partnership of some kind. All within a well established structure that you are a part of. Finally being acknowledged by the system in place, being seen as deserving for doing things right.

Two, and this is triggering a lot of fears for you, a more solitary and twisted path. It would be about embracing your own inner guidance and spending time in your own darkness to learn from it. Lending a hear to what your soul is actually telling you. There is silence and solitude. The need to find your own path removed from the system.

So this is the choice where your current situation is leading you. In the ko fi exclusive extended, I'll look at what do you need to know to make that choice, and what you can do right now to shift things in your favor. Head over here to read.

[huntershoe]

THE BAD BATCH PROMPT EVENT

A/N: I would like to thank @arctrooper69 for making this prompt and giving me a great idea. I am a little late tho because I only saw the post yesterday evening. I chose the NSFW prompt since I am trying to improve my smut writing abilities ;)

Summary: After intense past months, the tension between you and Hunter finally snaps.

Warning: NSFW (18+) minors DNI.

Word count: 2439

Thank you for reading!

It has been months since you, Hunter and Wrecker had any break, the fast pacing time and events simply wouldn't let you rest, even a good night sleep was rare. And with that of course came another few things to complain about. You and Hunter used to be so much more physically active together, and not just the flaming hot crazy sex, but also just small kisses here and there when no one was looking, the fleeting touches, just to reassure each other's presence.

It's not that you don't love him anymore, or the other way around, it's just that the stress from loosing Tech and Omega was too great, it wouldn't let you relax even for a second, knowing that Omega is still out there, suffering maker knows what.

So yes, you actually couldn't remember the last time you and Hunter managed to let out some steam and fuck and the only time you would get to kiss him was if you both managed get into your bunk at the same time to sleep and Wrecker took the watch.

The last few months consisted of constant deadly missions, doing the dirty work just to get some information, which usually ended up being useless but that didn't stop you and you kept on risking your life every day, to find Omega.

So once you got a mysterious transmission, sounding like Omega and telling you to meet at some backwater location, you didn't know what to believe. It simply sounded too good to be true. You could still remember the moment Omega ran down the ramp and into Wrecker's arms, it really was a sight to see, just like Wrecker said.

You were the second one Omega ran to, and you knelt down in front of her, squeezing her into a tight hug, until Omega spotted Hunter on top of the ramp, looking down at his two favourite girls with a small smile.

From then on, everything changed once Crosshair walked down the ramp to everyone's surprise.

Crosshair's arrival made Hunter a bit on edge, he didn't trust his brother as much as he wanted to. Who could blame him, Crosshair was the one hunting them just a little more than six months ago.

On top of that, with Crosshair now being around again, Hunter seemed more...pissy, it greatly bothered him that the sniper acted like nothing happened, like he didn't need to explain his actions.

With that, tension was all time high, because Hunter being pissy and on edge, made you pissy and on edge so you were constantly bickering. That's exactly why you were in the middle of a fight that was gradually becoming bigger and bigger, making Crosshair roll his eyes and go down to the beach with Batcher and Wrecker taking Omega fishing.

Not even realizing you two were now alone in the Marauder, yelling at each other about the most silly things until the topic somehow ended up on your failing relationship, or how it seemed that it was slowly failing.

And when Hunter tried to come up with a dumb excuse as to why he was pulling away, because he himself didn't actually know why but he just felt like he had to explain himself and when you called him on his bulshit he groaned, holding his head as he rolled his eyes and tried to walk away.

You weren't about to let him go, especially when you heard him mutter a quiet "Just go fuck yourself."

He couldn't help himself, it just escaped his lips and he knew he screwed up when you let out a loud scoff, crossing your arms in front of you and glared at his back. "Fuck me yourself, you coward."

That made him stop in his tracks and his breath hitched, not knowing if he heard you right and trying to decide how to respond back if he did indeed heard you right. Hunter turned around, his head moving before his body as he looked at you with raised brows. "What?"

You knew Hunter didn't mean it, he wasn't the type of man to insult someone and you knew very well that these past months weren't just bad for you but also for him. You knew it wasn't his fault that you two grew apart but still, you were frustrated. Frustrated that you can't have him like you used to, that you can't show him how deeply you actually love him, that even when you do, he barely acknowledges it. Frustrated with yourself that you were still thinking so selfishly. "You heard me, Hunter."

You rolled your eyes, still a little angry and tapping your feet against the ground. "I mean it's been months since you've last kissed me properly,"  You tried to justify your comeback, the last of your frustration fading away and embarrassment and self consciousness taking its place as you averted your eyes down to your fiddling fingers.

The embarrassment only intensified when Hunter stayed silent, just looking at you with his head tilted making you nervous in front of him for the first time since you've entered the relationship with him. "I...I know we hadn't had the time for us in these past months but I just miss us...I miss you Hunter." You started rambling, your voice getting quieter until you just barely whispered the last part but Hunter only stayed still, silently watching, making it worse.

The nerves finally got the best of you and you closed your eyes. "please say something." You whispered as tears started forming in your eyes. You let out one final breath waiting for him, to give you a sign, something, anything, to show you he still wants you and your relationship.

And when even after a few moments, he didn't let out a single sound, you turned away to hide your tears that finally spilled. Thinking that this was the end of it, you began walking away, trying to hide but you only managed to make a few steps before you felt someone grabbing your arm, stopping and spinning you.

Your eyes opened in shock as the world suddenly began spinning around you until your body came to a sudden halt and your chest was pressed against a solid and all to familiar armour. You didn't even get to look up at Hunter properly before his lips connected to yours and your body froze.

One of Hunter's hands sneaked around your waist, pulling you closer and securing you against his chest while his other hand moved up from your forearm to your cheek as he pressed a long and loving kiss against your lips. Butterflies exploded in your stomach and a warm feeling spread across your whole body. You slowly relaxed into his arms and your eyes closed as your own hands began sneaking up his armor plates and behind his neck. Hunter gently bit down on your lower lip, making you gasp in surprise. He took the chance, deepening the kiss, he slowly sneaked his tongue against yours, playing with it while exploring your mouth, trying to map every corner just like he used to.

This kiss was everything you wanted, everything you needed, everything...you missed these past months.

Your tongue danced around his, like two snakes, wrapping around each other as your hands moved higher up into his hair and he let out a quiet groan once you gently pulled on a strand of his hair.

None of you were even considering on pulling away, until your lungs began burning with the need for oxygen. Gently pulling away from his lips, you opened your eyes slowly. Your eyes locked with his as both of your chests heavied up and down, gasping for air.

His mesmerizing golden brown eyes were looking at you softly. Holding so many emotions, so much love for you, it made you feel bad about your latter outburst.

"Mesh'la" Shivers ran down your back at the Mandalorian nickname Hunter murmured while moving his hand from your cheek to a rogue strand of hair and tucked it behind your ear. "I'm sorry." Your eyes flickered from his right to left eye, until he closed them for a long moment and reopened them, watching you intensely.

"I never wanted to make you feel this way." His voice was laced with regret and he slowly moved his hand behind your neck, slowly pushing your head closer until your foreheads touched in keldabe kiss.

"Let me...us start this again."

Hope filled your chest and it almost felt like a giant stone rolled of off your heart. A smile grew over your lips and you moved your right hand on his tattooed cheek. Following the pattern of the black ink, your finger danced in small circles, until it stopped on his lips.

"Let's try this again."

You watched how his pupils slowly dilated, watching you with pure adoration.

"Good." Hunter rasped and then attacked your lips. It was like a switch in him flipped, letting out a man starving for you as his both hands moved down to your hips, pushing you against him while his tongue battled for dominance.

You felt dizzy, your eyes rolling back as they fell shut.

A breathy moan escaped past your lips as Hunter moved his hands lower to your ass, squeezing it hungrily and one of your leg automatically went up and locked around his hip.

You felt him pull back for a second to breathe, his chest violently moving up and down, just like yours.

"Good thing they left us alone."

Hunter murmured and a smirk spread across his lips as he kneaded your ass. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore and you kissed him again, pulling yourself as close to him as possible until Hunter gently tapped your ass, signaling you to jump and you did.

He caught you and you wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles behind him. With your legs out of the way, Hunter began walking towards your shared bunk bed all while still managing to take your breath away.

He moved to sit down on the edge of the bed and with this newfound position, you could feel just how aroused he was, his hard-on poking through the gasps of his armor.

Moving your hands down his armored chest, you began taking off any piece of his armor that you could get your hands on. Helping you, Hunter took off his main chest plate, throwing it away mindlessly. With that, your hands found his cod piece and you began tugging it away, freeing his achingly hard cock.

Hunter let out a loud groan, his hands once again moving to your ass and pulling you closer and over his hard-on.

Moaning at how perfectly this position allowed you to grind your clit directly over his cock you began rolling your hips over and over.

Letting out a string of curses, Hunter broke the kiss and began planting open mouthed kisses all over your neck, starting at your jaw.

"Fuck mesh'la." Hunter groaned deeply before he started nibbling on that perfect spot just under your jaw.

After all these months of no physical contact like this, it made you so much more desperate to reach that perfect peak of ecstasy. Hunter could tell you were already close, with all those moans and gasps you were letting out. It was enchanting to watch you, so beautiful, sexy, mesmerizing. He couldn't take his eyes off of you as you neared your orgasm.

You felt amazing, in the arms of your lover and nearing your peak. Your eyes were rolling back and your breath hitched, just as you thought your orgasm would roll over Hunter stood up in a split second and gently threw you on the bed.

Gasping in surprise and then whining as that perfect peak subsided you opened your eyes wide, only to see him kneel in front of you and take off his black gloves.

"I want you coming all over my face and fingers." A quiet mewl escaped you, his voice was low, almost growling as he threw his gloves somewhere behind him and then grabbed your waist band, pulling it down quickly. A loud groan left him as he spotted a big wet spot on the crotch of your pants.

Hunter pulled both your pants and panties off in one go, throwing them over his shoulder just like he did with his gloves. Another growl escaped him as he grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulder and pulled you up, closer to his face.

You watched his face, how his eyes looked at you hungrily and he wetted his lips, you saw his nostrils dilate as he breathed in your sweet scent. He looked downright sinful as you saw him close his eyes and lick a long stripe up across your folds, making you moan. Another loud groan echoed through the ship as Hunter began feasting on you.

Wrapping his lips around your clit he began sucking on it as if his life depends on it. His mouth felt amazing on you and you couldn't help but to grab onto his hair as you felt yourself quickly approaching that wonderful high again. A loud gasp left you when you felt his fingers prodding on your entrance. "Please Hunter, more." Feeling desperate enough you begged, rolling your hips into his face.

Wanting to fulfill your every wish, Hunter entered two fingers in you, groaning when your pussy clenched around them immediately. He expertly hit that spongy spot, managing to pump his fingers in and out only a few times before your eyes rolled back and your lips opened in O shape, letting out a long moan as your orgasm hit you.

Your body shook and Hunter had to hold onto you to keep you from moving too much as he kept on sucking on your juices. After a few more moments of pure ecstasy you began feeling overstimulated and you had to actually pull Hunter off of you by his hair. He looked wild, licking his lips and his eyes black as night, he was panting when he finally pulled away a little more just to suck on his fingers full of your juices. "One of these days I'm gonna take my time with you and won't stop for hours." Hunter growled, looking down, directly at your pussy.

You looked at him, your face completely flushed and you grinned at him. "Come here soldier." And you pulled him closer, connecting your lips with him.

Maybe this will be even better than before.

[oneforblu]

kita shinsuke: the modern-day philosopher

one of my favorite things about haikyuu is how realistic the story is and how the messages can be applied to everyone. kita was one of the characters i felt impacted by. of course, many of the characters before kita's introduction impacted me, but kita's philosophy deeply affected me.

kita is a character who played the sport diligently but wasn't in it for the glory. although he was raised by his grandma's words, "someone's always watching," he isn't concerned about being praised by others. being able to do stuff the right way is enough for him. before kita, we've been introduced to many characters who are willing to do anything to win and continue playing volleyball in the future. kita isn't concerned about any of that. playing to the best of his abilities and doing it correctly is more than enough.

the importance of daily maintenance is something i will always think of when i see kita. he takes care of his body, cleans up, respects his traditions, and practices volleyball daily. it's a routine he follows every day without fail. to many, this seems tedious. doing the same thing everyday without a break? without fail? without anything to gain from it? most people wouldn't bother to use as much time and effort as kita does for no desired result. i'm one of the many that find it hard to keep up a routine, especially if it requires so much consistency and effort. but kita does it without complaint, without fail, and finds genuine joy in it.

but even though kita didn't care about people's approval, the moment he was offered the captain's jersey brought him to tears. whether he cared or not, his efforts to improve himself did not go unnoticed. all that time he spent cleaning, taking care of his body, honoring tradition, and practicing volleyball led to this moment. but kita never had a goal in mind. being chosen as captain is a high achievement, but kita didn't join the team to eventually have this honor. he did what he believed was the best thing to do, and being chosen as captain was simply the result of his effort.

this panel changed everything for me. i even used this as my college graduation quote because i have such a heavy attachment to this scene.

kita didn't do all his daily practices to gain anything. he did them because it felt right, doing his best no matter what was more important to him.

i have a habit of always determining my worth based on the results. if i don't get a good enough grade, i see my effort as useless; if i'm not praised for something, then i feel i'm not doing my best; if all my efforts don't give me the results i want, i see my time spent as wasted but reading this scene changed everything for me.

the time you spend bettering yourself is more valuable than a result. after all, the only reason you get a good result in the first place is because of your time and dedication to your work. even though kita was emotional about his hard work being seen and rewarded, his goal wasn't to become captain. at the end of the day, he spent all this time doing things for himself.

the little things I do every day might not be valuable in the grand scheme of things; the time I spend dedicating myself to anything makes me who I am. the small, everyday things make us who we are. we care for our bodies, study or work, unwind, and prepare meals for ourselves. It doesn't lead to anything extraordinary, but it does matter. it matters because it's who we are. every little thing we do is a part of us, and the good or bad things that come with it are simply the results of what we decide to do.

kita's philosophy of doing things right because it's the right thing to do is simple, yet it's one of the lessons of haikyuu that has stuck with me the longest. we, as people, believe we need to produce results that have meaning to us, but devoting ourselves to daily tasks is essential to who we are as people and how we live our lives. we do the things we do because they are necessary, and the outcomes that follow are just byproducts.

kita is such an important character to me, and I wish this rant could do him some justice. all in all, kita shinsuke, you are the greatest philosopher of our time.

[theeternalwombtarot]

what’s going on in your friendships

message: friendships and close personal relationships have been a significant thing in my life as of late. I have the tendency to self-isolate in order to remain untriggered because I can't control my environment the way I wish I could when other energies are involved. I've never been super outgoing or social, I enjoy conversation but on my own terms and I'm highly selective about the company I keep and how I choose to share my energy with the world. But, you have to be a whole other level of healed in order to remain energetically grounded where your circumstances or environment are eating away at you. When I have close personal relationships they consume me because I am always so heavily devoted or emotionally involved and so they have the capacity to disarm me or put me in hard places when things go wrong or when something is triggering. I've decided to do this reading in order to give the collective insight on what's going on in their friendships and hopefully give some guidance on what needs to be improved or worked on. Enjoy.

-

I.

There's an energy here about either you or people you were friends with or are friends with carrying the energy of past resentment. In your energy there's an energy of friendship(s) being a touchy subject or something that you've separated yourself from entirely due to bad situations or experiences. In other energies outside of yours, there could be someone or even a few people who hold ill energy towards you or have negative perceptions of you based on a falling out or you outgrowing them. There's energy of betrayal or someone revealing themselves to you or double-crossing you and you having to turn inwards or go into hermit mode in order to recover and swearing off friendships or become more opposed or narrowing your scope for what is acceptable in your friendships. Someone had high expectations already but they're even higher now. I'm listening to the song "Back to Black" by Amy Winehouse. She says in the song, "I've died 100 times." someone has been burned a lot or has a very extensive painful history in close relationships both platonic and romantic that require trust and respect to be equal and held at high regard.

Someone had a friend who was troubled or had a tendency to mess things up for themselves or be deceptive or throw stones and hide their hands I'm hearing. Pile one you may have developed a thing for the underdog or in the past had a subconscious pull to people who had heavy trauma-filled backgrounds or carried with them a lot of karmic energy or karmic behaviors and cycles. This may have been a theme for the vast majority of your close personal relationships for the past couple of years. You constantly ran into people who didn't value themselves and therefore didn't know your value and people who would always have an internal tendency to not know what they'd lost until you'd walked away from them. You may have had to make a difficult decision here that resulted in you letting go of several friends and/ or lovers or significant people in your life that you carried on your back for the past couple of years. You learn lessons primarily through people and relationships and you eventually outgrew or broke out of karmic cycles and behaviors and you had to decide whether or not you wanted a new beginning or not.

You may currently feel a lot of grief or be in the process of mourning past versions of yourself or past versions of your life and the people who were in it although you're done with them now. There's healing that needs to be addressed regarding betrayal and heartbreak regarding your friendships and relationships. Right now you are in a state of recovery here, I'm seeing imagery of someone in a deep sleep or in a comatose like state like sleeping beauty or something, the body has the ability to heal or recover faster through sleep, you may feel somewhat unresponsive towards people coming towards you seeking friendships or companionship.

You're deciding what it is you want in a friendship and doing what you can possible to come into alignment with what that looks like, you've essentially had to start from scratch or build your life and yourself up again from the ground up. You have nothing left from the life you used to live. You've had to and are in the process of manifesting everything that you desire. You are no longer in a state of your life or on the chronological divine timeline where you are having to live with the cards you are dealt and make the best of it or learn the right lessons for what you are given. You have essentially aged out of and graduated out of the divine's guardianship over you as a spiritual minor. Now it's your choice what it is you get to have, what you get to make, what you wanna see, what you wanna put up with, and with whom.

-

II.

You could feel called to power through and carry on even though you could be experiencing or have experienced significant hardship in your friendships. You may have a tendency to suppress your emotions regarding loss or you have remained in survival mode for years at a time so much so you may be someone who is always in autopilot or doesn't stop too often to process loss in full even if you're a heavily emotionally driven individual who needs time for recovery and needs time to heal so that you can thrive. I just heard someone's a water sign but operates like an earth sign to keep up appearances or maintain a hard exterior or escape the symptoms that come with heartbreak or grief. like if you can imagine the spectral difference between Cancer and Capricorn as a moon sign placement. You may carry a mindset that the entire world has always been against you or that you're not a particularly popular individual wherever it is you reside.

People may make up stories about you, spread rumors, some people fear you heavily while on the other side of the spectrum others may believe you're a coward or deserve to be mistreated or beat down as much as possible. People don't know who you are or know your heart due to some circumstances that were outside of your control and some that were. By the time you'd established or came to terms with the fact that you wanted to be around others, felt isolated, or felt scared and mistreated it was too late because people already had such large negative perspectives and opinions about you. I just heard "you think I want to be like this?" someone has been alienated or is treated like an abomination or as though they are unacceptable. You may also find you have a hard time networking or accessing opportunities you feel you'd have rights to if not for your reputation, not even just work opportunities, social ones as well, people don't want to be around you or people have a tendency to reject you or you feel you aren't able to reach people you love fully due to a lack of self worth or a skewed perception of yourself.

You've lost hope of profound connection within your friendships (you could've had a close friend before that you held onto past a healthy point or even throughout their betrayal or mistreatment of you due to the fact that you felt like if you released them you'd face eternal loneliness. I'm hearing this person could've exploited you for your resources or used you or subjected you to some sort of abuse repeatedly and you didn't/couldn't hold them accountable only the two of you know about this or people know but it's not a well spread secret. I'm hearing this person could've also potentially r*ped, s*xually assaulted you or used you to experiment or fill the void of their own loneliness and desperation.) You could've also potentially lost a romantic connection or loss hope in prospect of love as well or you may have convinced yourself you'll end up unmarried or in short term surface level relationships for the rest of your life.

You could have this large tendency to be so resistant of change whether it's for the best or not or whether it's gonna be in your best interest or not and this has worked against you. You have wounds that have been left open and are gaping because you refuse to stop and get help or allow yourself to heal and recover. You have things that need to be said that won't ever be at your own hand. You won't allow yourself to have anything because other people decided you shouldn't have anything. You could be so happy and so free of spiritual and emotional burden if you would just allow yourself to heal and do the inner work. Return to any avenues and paths you've left unpaved or any loose ends you've left untied and clean up things in order to free yourself. You may have to come to terms with the fact that not everything can be mended, reconciled, or redelivered back to you in the way you want or within the time frame you desire though pile two. You aren't the only person on the planet contrary to your beliefs, the people who were on it with you who you shared your energy with or who you shared your energy with have their own reservations, their own stories or versions of what happened whether they are truthful or not.

-

III.

You have an unnatural allegiance to losers and it's unlike you. You may have a tendency to make friends or make connections out of necessity or out of fear of loneliness. You are what you attract, you may have a tendency to constantly fall back into karmic cycles or run around in circles in terms of life lessons. you're someone who takes a long time to learn things you need to learn. You could be an air sign or a water sign. You have the tendency to take a lot of short cuts or do things to try and make yourself have an easier time assimilating or blending in after years of rejection from personal places or have people and places that large significance in your life or things you spent a lot of time around, peers at school, parents, siblings, family. You can also have a tendency to be impressionable you might have picked up a lot of nasty habits or behavioral patterns or karmic ties due to the type of people you choose to be around and attract. There's something here about your spirit being young or you being someone who has a tendency to act out or has a difficult time making their own decisions including responsible ones or doing what's best for you when it needs to be done.

You have a parent or parents who play a huge role in the way you process situations and carry yourself in general. You weren't taught or raised up to be an adult or aren't/weren't offered the proper tools to build a sense of self that was adequate for someone who needed to navigate in this world. I just heard the words "hurt people hurt people" you may have the tendency to self destruct and in turn be destructive to others. You carry with you either a lot of guilt or on the far end of the spectrum a large lack of accountability and willing ignorance about the part you played in conflicts or how your actions may have effected someone or a situation. You're constantly feeling very stagnant, burnt out, drained or low on energy and a lot of this is reflective of some of your choices, your choices in company, your behavioral patterns, karmic cycles and even potentially addictions if you've picked up any vices that you should've stayed far away from.

You may be in a place in your relationships where you're at a crossroads about if you should trust your intuition and the divines organization of change and chaos and move forward or do the right thing and allow yourself to fully outgrow and separate from people, things, places, etc. you've carried with you or collected along the way for fear of loss. Behaviors and karmic cycles and habits as well. I say relationships instead of just friendships because you have a tendency to make bad decisions in both your romantic and platonic relationships and connections and your karma is coming at you from both ends. There's fear here though regarding letting go. The deeper issue or root cause of this need to collect things comes from fear of abandonment, being disliked or perceived negatively or not being able to control the feeling you may feel about not having anyone to fall back onto/into.

You could've lost a friend or a person of value that you pushed away or that woke up to something or had some sort of truth revealed to them about you and actions you may have had a habit of committing to behind their back in regards to them. This person won't reconcile with you or you know that anyone of value that you lost along the way or anyone who may bring you solace has walked away. But, spirit has set your revelation or your healing process or tower moment up this way for you so that you have the chance to fully and wholeheartedly see what is going on or what needs to be done. I just heard "you're so far removed from source." The only way out is through and there might be a lot of grief that you may have to receive or make your way through before you can come out the other end changed and in alignment with what needs to be done or what's in store for you. You need to heal or come back into alignment. I'm getting imagery of someone detoxing or withdrawal from drugs or alcohol. this could be something you may have to actually experience or a figurative representation of what the process of healing and recuperation may look like for you because there is a lot that needs to be purged.

But, after all of this, if you do the inner work, there is promised stability and alignment for you.

-

channeled song for this reading:

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 21

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: I just want to say, hello to all the new people! So many of you have found this series in the last week. So welcome! Thank you for making me smile like an idiot when my phone goes off when a binge read happens. Literally makes my day. And you've come in at a great time for me in introduce some tension back into the story. I'm not sorry.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

We had managed to keep my signet development hidden longer than I thought. Xaden had requested I hold off from approaching Professor Carr till some of the tension around Amber’s execution had died off.

In that time I had used any free moment to practice, mainly in the privacy of my room or Garrick’s. But a few times I had practiced in the training room while Garrick, Bodhi and Xaden sparred. Though I had to be careful. One time I had tried to pull one of the weights towards me and instead of a slow gradual pull, I had flung it across the room, narrowly missing Bodhi and Garrick who we’re in the middle of a fight. Both of them had turned to me wide eyed after the weight had skimmed over their heads before imbedding in the stone wall. Xaden on the other hand had burst out laughing even though I’d nearly taken them out our best friends. I had yet to grasp the other part of my ability, coming up short any time I tried to focus on someone. Amber and Jeremiah had been erratic in their emotions. Both knowing death was coming. I had wondered if their calls for help had amplified their presence, allowing me to draw on it. The only other ones I had managed to slightly do it on since were Xaden, Garrick and Bodhi. Which I had put down to how well I knew them. As if my signet already knew exactly where to look, where to seek them out. But even then I couldn’t always do it. I had put the incident in the tower that day down to my heightened emotions. But I couldn’t put it off any longer as I walked into Professor Carr’s classroom for the first time. His room set all of my senses into overdrive. A long chamber with no windows on any of the outwards facing walls. Every wall was padded. Which given the variety of signets we all had and had passed through this room over the years, were probably there for protection. Carr looks up at me instantly, a smile curving at the edge of his mouth that sends a chill down my spine. The way he studies me doesn’t help.

”The other Riorson. Finally ready to join us I see.” He drawls.

I nod and stand up tall. “Sure am.”

His eyes finally meet mine again. “What’s your signet power?” He asks as he slowly walks over to me.

Xaden and I had discussed how to address this topic. We could try pass it off as levitation, but knew that would be no point. The way I could manipulate and control things would soon alert Carr that I possessed another ability. A more powerful ability. The one thing he and I agreed on, as well as Garrick, was that I was not to let on about the projections I was able to do. We just hoped I didn’t get influenced by my emotions and let it loose in the middle of class one day.

I draw in a breath. “My dragon called it Psionic sir.” I tell him.

Carr’s eyes light up instantly at my words. I knew they would. After scouring the records of every rider who had passed through this quadrant, we had not found a single person with this signet, or a name similar. From what we could tell I was the first. Unless it had been redacted. I was something new for Carr to examine, to see what my signet could do. Something I really did not want. But to give myself the best chance at improving my signet, I had to. If I was to help Xaden and this rebellion, I needed all the help I could get. Carr hurries over to his desk and comes back with a scroll, sealed by a wax seal that must be his own. Next to is a marking I know all too well from my time around Melgren. Classified. He hands it out to me. As I grasp it he leans in.

”You must not speak a word of your signet to anyone. Take this downstairs after class with your jacket.” He tells me barely above a whisper before turning back to his desk.

I look down at the scroll in my hand and know all too well what this holds. My uniform is now to bear another patch. A patch I’ve only seen one other person in this quadrant bear. The classified signet patch. A compass. I look up to see the other squads including my own looking at the scroll in my hands with intent. All of them clearly wanting to know what it means. I quickly shove it into a pocket inside my jacket before taking a seat between Rhiannon and Liam. Both of them turning to me instantly.

”Care to explain?” Liam asks as he leans on the desk looking at me.

”Explain that I have my signet? Thought that was obvious by my appearance in the class.” I reply sassily, earning me a roll of his eyes.

”That, but also the fact you didn’t tell us and why he gave you that scroll.” Rhiannon adds as she leans in from the other side.

With Liam and Rhiannon leaning on their desks facing me, I am boxed in completely. No escape while we wait for the class to start.

”It only just happened.” A lie. A blatant lie. And with the way Liam shifts in his seat I know he can tell. He isn’t blind the the training sessions that only Garrick, Bodhi and Xaden have been allowed to since the night Violet and I were attacked. “And even if I wanted to tell you, I can’t now.”

Rhiannon’s eyes drop to my jacket where I had shoved the scroll. I can see the temptation in her eyes to use her signet to draw it to her. “It’s classified isn’t it.”

I merely nod at her as Carr moves from his desk. I might be the first one to posses this signet, but Carr had known my signet was important. As if he had already imagined someone manifesting this. Waiting for it. He probably had a hunch about what else I could do or hoped I could do. I was now playing a dangerous game. Classified signets we’re only told to those who needed to know. Those in command. By the end of the day the leaders of formation would know. Melgren would know. From here on out I was playing a dangerous game.

Walking down the corridors to battle brief I could feel every pair of eyes on me and the new patch on my jacket. As instructed I had taken my scroll to the uniform room, and watched as they had quickly attached the patch to my jacket. And in that time, the first years in third and fourth wing had already spread the news. The quadrant had another classified signet. And everyone knew. As I walked into the battle brief room, everyone went silent. Even Devera and Markham. All eyes on me. Though there were two sets I felt more than the rest as they burned into the patch on my left shoulder. As I meet Xaden and Garrick’s eyes, I could see the worry. No I could feel it. There in my mind I could feel their presence. I could feel the nervousness that now consumed them. Not only did we have other cadets to worry about, we also had leadership. I now had a different and bigger target on my back. A target not even they could protect me from.

A target that had very quickly met its mark. I watched as every single cadet in the room straightened in their chairs or where they stood. Watching as Xaden and Garrick’s eyes went wide. Xaden’s arm raising to push Garrick back as he steps forward. Just like he did on conscription day. I didn’t need to turn to know who stood behind me. I knew their presence all too well. Enough my signet could sense it. A looming black presence, crackling and erratic at its edges. It screamed danger. Screamed to run away from it. It was so fitting for them. But in the five years I had been under their guidance I had never run from it. And didn’t plan to any time soon.

”Sorry to disturb you Devera, but I need to borrow Cadet Riorson here. They’ll be missing your class today.” He drawls. I can hear the smirk in his voice.

Devera stares behind me before nodding. “Of course General.”

I turn around and meet the cold and familiar stare of General Melgren. Part 22

@riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu @came-to-laugh-but-cried @onthewaytotimbuktu @daardyrnitta @lovemesomevesey @mxtokko

[loveandlegacy]

i think this is a little unfair as a critique because i generally do not see much value in being like "well i wish this story had just been a completely different thing instead of the story it was" like there are better ways to talk about how a narrative could be improved on its own merits rather than just saying "well do something different". BUT this is my blog where i get to say what i want and so: read the rest at your own risk wherein i talk about what i might have preferred to see with viktor's storyline

i think that if they were going to dispense with the variations of viktor's prior lore - which is totally fine to do tbh! - but they wanted to still stick to him feeling more alienated and indifferent to human needs/suffering but also superior to them and kind of outside of time without fully leaning into the timeloop cyborgism of it all, it would have been wise to make him somewhat more nihilistic on the order of doctor manhattan?

a: if he were outside of time in the way that doctor manhattan is, it would avoid the issue of a time loop (which generally tends to damage to a story in my opinion) and would still permit for some kind of epiphany about love a la what happens with doctor manhattan and laurie juspeczyk. it also would maintain viktor's ability to see into other people's pasts and memories or to walk among them in those past places. this might have even allowed us to get a fuller and more sensitive picture of sky as a person independent of viktor once he was unstuck from time or in quantum time or etc!

b: jon osterman is a physicist and, like viktor, goes through a transformation that basically makes him feel completely distant from humans and as if their fates are fixed in a hopeless cycle, he's obsessive about his research, and he generally behaves as if humanity is somewhat beneath him because of how he experiences time and space

obviously there are some differences. doctor manhattan never aims to build a perfect world of flawless nonsuffering. he decides to abandon humanity altogether, and the person with the questionable morals driven by a raging ego is adrian veidt, but honestly you could just blend the archetypes of the two and get a clearer sense of direction for viktor's story.

like obviously this is just my vibe. i think i like this better because doctor manhattan and adrian veidt, both of whom are deeply selfish and in veidt's case egomaniacal about how to 'fix' the world, are still realized in ways where both characters feels more complicated than how viktor's story played out in arcane. like even leaving off the league lore about him, i think the show either didn't have enough time to fully actualize the struggle in him between wanting to help and being sure he knew better than everyone else about how to help, or it was always just going to be too cartoon-villain simplistic with his army of evil robots. i think the latter is unlikely given that they worked pretty hard to paint silco, jinx, and more or less everyone else in the undercity in many shades of grey but who knows!

like most of what frustrated me by the end about viktor's story wasn't that he was doing cruel things, it was just that those cruel things felt goofy and flat compared to even the cruel things ambessa was doing for most of the season. i cite mandus from a machine for pigs a lot as a different possible comparison to viktor. mandus is another industrialist/inventor who ends up splitting his consciousness and decides the world is full of nothing but cruelty and that he knows better than everyone else and starts mutilating people and feeding them to each other to build a new world order. but even mandus, who traps people into forced-cannibalism, feels that he has more depth to him than viktor did for me by the end of the show. it may be how mandus's story is constructed and that his logic feels sadder than viktor's, or it may just be that again the writers had less time to deal with more storylines but! idk!

all in all i maintain that the machine herald arc was pretty disappointing and honestly kind of goofy/immature along with being like cringily ableist and relying on politically unsound tropes that mostly amount to 'hey watch out for communist zombies', so i'll be out here thinking about what might have made it land better for me

[onecornerface]

New study finds cash-transfers didn't have some expected benefits- But why??

A new study (NBER Working Paper) seemingly finds that a monthly cash-transfer ($1000 a month over a few years) to poor people in the US failed to benefit recipients’ mental and physical health or food security in a bunch of ways after the first year. It’s apparently more ambitious than some previous studies of cash transfers in the US. This may be some evidence that UBI doesn’t have all the benefits we’d like it to have for helping poor people or some subsets of them, which could impact future debates on UBI. There may still be consequentialist and/or deontological reasons to support UBI, but we need to ensure they’re aligned with the best evidence on the (good and/or bad) results (or lack thereof).

I’ve read the Twitter summary thread, and skimmed several sections of the paper (especially intro sections and Discussion), but haven't fully read the paper.

Some initial thoughts & questions I’m wondering about—

My main concerns are about the mechanisms, by which I mean how the cash-transfers impacted people’s behavior or psychology in ways that would bring about the measured results (assuming the metrics/results are valid). One of the most puzzling results is on food security.

“We also find that the transfer generated large and highly statistically significant improvements in food security in the first year. However, mirroring our results for mental health, these improvements were short-lived and, by the end of the program, participants in the treatment group reported no better ability to meet their food needs than those in the control group.” (Page 3)

If cash-transfers indeed fail to improve food security for a lot of people after the first year (yet apparently did help during the first year), why? What are the mechanisms by which it would fail?

From my armchair speculation, I can kind-of-sort-of imagine how psychological adaptation (or suchlike) may explain how cash may fail to improve mental health or stress after the first year, leading to something of a return to baseline (albeit with many reservations).

And some of the physical health results also might not be too baffling, since the relationship between income, medical care access, and health results, may well be complex and wonky. Medical access may be reduced by non-income factors, effective medical advice may not be taken up, and many medical practices may be ineffective. That said, there are still a lot of very plausible mechanisms as to how poverty would worsen health—it’s not all specious correlation (even if some is), and it’s not all the result of third-factors causing both poverty and illness (even if some is) and/or illness causing poverty. So there’s still some more explanation needed as to how a lot of these wouldn’t be impacted much, or would be impacted only temporarily, by cash transfers.

All that said, I’m still more puzzled by the food-security results. People’s food needs are a lot more consistent and predictable than their physical healthcare needs, and seem less likely to change due to any return to baseline.

Do the recipients develop a bigger appetite or altered metabolism after the first year? Do they start making worse (or at least, less food-focused) spending decisions, resulting in less money to spend on food? Or what? Was there something else they preferred to spend their money on, besides food, after the first year? Did they not have enough money to spend on food? Did rent take up so much they didn’t have money for food?

Maybe some of them spend more money on drugs or suchlike, resulting in less money for food—but the study seems to find mixed results as to whether drug use increased or not (see Page 36, and search the document for “drug” to see variations of the same claim throughout), and I assume a large chunk of the recipients didn’t spend a lot of money on drugs (even if there was also a large chunk who did). So, in any case, I don’t think very much of the food security result can be easily explained by “recipients spent the money on drugs instead of food.”

So… what gives? Why did food insecurity go down and then back up again??

I’ve skimmed the paper, and it looks like most of it consists in arguments that their statistical methods and suchlike are valid and not confounded, or suchlike. I probably don’t have the expertise to evaluate any of those arguments. But it doesn’t look like there’s much, if any, discussion on the mechanisms. Maybe it’s in there somewhere, I don’t know.

The results wouldn’t be magic. If they’re valid, they should be happening as a result of the recipients changing (or failing to change) their consumption patterns or other decisions or circumstances in various sorts of ways. So what are those? If there aren't any plausible mechanisms (which admittedly would be very hard to show), this could also be reason to question the validity of the results.

It sounds like the lead author, Sarah Miller, is in favor of cash transfers. So the negative results can’t be readily explained by a lead author’s bias against the policy.

Some of the failure may be explained by the fact that the study was only three years, and some benefits may take many years of cash transfers to achieve. However, this doesn’t address why the study did find a bunch of benefits in year 1 which then ceased in year 2. This pattern of benefits appearing and then disappearing also seems to count against the possibility that the study’s method was simply unable to detect the benefits. Apparently it did detect the benefits in year 1, which makes it puzzling why they disappeared in year 2.

A bunch of twitter commenters seem to think the study confirms UBI sucks actually, because poor people are just intrinsically shitty and make bad decisions that keep themselves poor and in bad health completely regardless of what the government does—as the critics had been saying all along.

I’m certainly open to the possibility that poor people tend to make bad decisions, and I want to guard against any politically-correct bias that wrongly rules it out. If and insofar as poor people make decisions that contribute to keeping themselves poor and in bad health (whether these decisions are bad or defensible, which is a further question), then we should want to know what those are, so we can work with them to improve their situations more effectively and ethically.

Many progressives are likely too biased toward underestimating the agency of some poor people, and may well underestimate how many poor people could somewhat improve their situation by making different decisions. I think we can concede a lot of these points without drastically undercutting the position that poverty is obviously extremely bad and unjust, that some forms of government intervention & redistribution are effective, and that the main in-principle objections to government redistribution are weak.

I’m also pretty confident that most of the critics are ideologically committed to the “poor people make bad decisions” hypothesis for biased and unempirical reasons—and also seemingly haven't put forward any detailed hypotheses for how exactly the “poor people make bad decisions” view actually explains the evidence.

Arguably, even if poor people make bad decisions, this isn't enough to explain how and why their consumption or lifestyle decisions (etc.) were impacted by cash-transfers in the right sort of ways to explain any of the main interesting data.

My ideas on the study here are all very provisional. But the study seems worthwhile for UBI proponents to get ahead of, and develop a well-thought-out empirical analysis as to what it does or doesn’t imply for UBI.

[everlastingspring143]

Heartbeat

Pairing: Lee Know x reader Genre: angst/comfort A/n: THIS IS SAUR EMBARASSING TO POST WAAHH (>///<) But I hope that if you do decide to read it, you'll enjoy it. I'm trying to improve my writing skills, so feedback would be greatly appreciated hehe~

The cool summer night breeze messes up your hair, playfully teasing you, but you can't find it in yourself to care. You're lost in your thoughts, feet wandering on their own with no destination.

The streets are quiet. It's no surprise - most people are asleep by now. 2AM is not the time to be wandering around the sleeping neighborhood, with dangers lurking at every corner.

But falling asleep seemed impossible - your thoughts were too loud - keeping you tossing and turning, not letting your body to get some much needed rest. Your room became suffocating. So you decided to take a walk outside. Maybe the thoughts will take up a physical form and stay in your house, like a lost ring or key.

But you can't run away from your own mind. As much as you try to calm the chaos happening inside you, it only seems to get worse. You need to cry, but not a single tear forms. It's like you've lost the ability to cry - an action that's so simple, yet seems impossible to do.

It's strange. Babies are born crying, that's the first thing they do when they enter this world. So why can't you? Crying is a part of being human. Does that mean you're broken?

You pull out your phone, taking a picture of the shimmering stars in the sky. Your finger hovers over the send button before you press it. Maybe a distraction will help...

Three dots pop up not even a minute later.

"What are you doing up so late? Where are you?" Not the message you expected.

"I just went out on a walk, I'm near the ice cream shop. But aren't the stars so beautiful tonight? ^ ^" Your fingers type fast. The phone battery shows 3%. You curse under your breath.

"Of course they're beautiful, but you shouldn't be out so late. It's not safe" A sigh leaves your lips.

Your phone dies right when you were typing out a response. A sardonic laugh escapes your lips at the ironic situation. It seems like the world itself wants to make you drown in your own mind.

You walk up to the ice cream shop. It's abandoned now. Three years ago a tragedy happened to it's owner and the shop had to be closed. What was once a place filled with joyful laughter of kids and the heartwarming presence of people is now just an empty building with broken windows.

You sit down on the pavement, pressing your back to the cold exterior wall of the building. Isn't it funny how a building resembles you so much? What once was such a happy child, turned out to be an empty broken adult. Where did it all go wrong?

It's getting cold. Your thin T-shirt does little to warm you up. You close your eyes, giving in to the darkness of your mind.

"Y/N!" A loud voice startles you, but before you can register it's owner, a sudden warmth envelops you. "You idiot! Why didn't you answer my messages?! I was worried!!"

Wrapping his arms around you is none other than Minho. His hair is a mess and he's out of breath.

He stiffens up a bit and pulls away from the embrace to look at you. Something shifts in his gaze. You notice his eyes glisten like the stars.

"Is... Is everything okay?" His voice becomes soft and quiet, a soothing whisper like the warm summer breeze. He treats you like a fragile vase. Unfortunately for him, you are already broken. The tears that spill out at his simple question prove you right.

You clutch onto Minho, his hoodie catching your tears. You feel his hands gently rubbing your back as he lets you cry.

"Shh... Everything's going to be alright. I'm here for you..." His hushed whispering feels like a band aid to your bruised heart.

And then you hear it. The beating of Minho's heart. It's consistent.

You sniffle as his hand gently pats your head.

In the silence that surrounds you, another sound reaches your ears - your own heart's steady rhythm, echoing in sync with Minho's.

Your heart is beating, and a sudden realisation dawns on you.

You're not broken. You may be tired, or bruised, hurt, lost... But you're not broken.

You're alive.