#and i accidentally told it to my gradma
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#i got into the second round of the admission procedure on the university that's my number 1#and i was so happy#and i accidentally told it to my gradma#and she was like 'and?'#and then i realized that she (like most of the people in my family) wanted me to be a baker or a hairdresser#so she doesn't support my university plans#neither my father or his girlfriend#and it's really difficult to do it alone#i almost sent it to my art teacher because he supports me and he was the one that told me not to worry about my father not letting me#go to university#but then i was like i don't want to bother him at weekend and also it's stupid to be this happy just because my portfolio was good enough#to get me into the second round#it doesn't mean anything there still is a chance that i won't get into university and that all the prople who said i'm stupid were right#so i'm just sitting in my room crying because i'm so fucking tired and i jist want my family to be proud of me at least a little bit#but i know it's too much to ask#i don't want my teacher to laugh at me for being as happy as i was for this#i don't know how i'm gonna continue alone because i've been doing thid for so long and i'm really really tired#and i'm gonna loose my teacher too once i leave high school after finishing all my exams#i will only have my best friend (and even though she supports me it's just... not enough and this feels really selfish to say i'm sorry)#(i hate that you can't put comas in the tags. i would really need in in the one above this)
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