#and how rayla and ethari soften each others hearts

[1lovepeace]

I completely agree with you. What Ethari did was absolutely wrong and unacceptable. As it stated, because of his deep and immense grief and pain, he ultimately made the worst mistake of his life that he sincerely regrets with all his heart. No matter what Ethari does, this will forever be a brutally emotional scar that he'll never stop enduring or carrying for the rest of his life. The moment when he slammed the sword says a lot without words. The moments between this and when he reached out to Rayla by the pool and asked her to take his hand to break the ghosting spell must've been a damaging emotional rollercoaster ride for him. To me, it shows how he immediately regretted how he reacted and atoned for his actions. Because Ethari knew, deep down, in his heart, that he couldn't bear the thought of losing Rayla, couldn't bear to let her leave feeling alone and hurt like that and couldn't bear to let her leave without seeing her again. And he looked SO relieved and happy when he got to see her. You can tell he was extremely remorseful and incredibly apologetic when he got to speak with her again. Because nothing was more important to him than sharing this precious and heartwarming connection with Rayla. I'm glad that they got to see each other and share such a beautiful moment together.

I also empathize and understand why a lot of people don't and will never believe or see Ethari as a loving father figure at all to some degree. What I will say is that I know they'll bring this back up at some point because Ethari seriously has such monumental repairing and enormous apologies to make to Rayla. Because the day he's reunited and reconciled with his daughter for the first time in almost three years, he's going to be undoubtedly filled with unspeakable guilt, unbearable regret, undeniable remorse, unimaginable sorrow, and immeasurable repentance while being an uncontrollable, broken-hearted, sobbing mess, where he's just wrapping his daughter up in his big, strong, yet warm, protective arms and pouring out all his heart and soul into every single apology to his beloved baby girl. I want nothing more than for Ethari to shower his precious beloved daughter with the fatherly love, hugs and kisses. Give us all the soft dad hugs between Ethari and Rayla in S6. I want Ethari to have his precious beloved daughter in his life again.

The podcast revealed that Ethari 100% regrets doing the ghost spell on Rayla after knowing what actually happened, but doesn’t have much power to undo it.

Devon and Iain ALSO said that Runaan and Ethari were both LOVING PARENTS.

I DARE SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT ETHARI NOW.

[raayllum]

Somewhat found the meta spoons which is to say S4′s Rayllum arc is pretty brilliant, imo, because

S4 is about Callum realizing that loving Rayla is going to Hurt, and keep Hurting him, and he Chooses to Accept that and Love her Anyway

In 4x01, we see that Callum is keeping a closed lid on some of his feelings, not wanting to admit that he loves her out loud to Ezran because he’s worried that she’ll never come back, and that he doesn’t even know if she’s alive. We see this in his initial reaction to her; he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want to blow up at her (similarly to how he behaved in 2x03 following the Harrow fallout) but he also doesn’t want her to go. So they sit in the hurt all night, softened by the fact that she asks/offers to Stay arguably for the first time. 

Then over the course of the season, they fall into their old patterns, both good and bad. They’re good at working together, keeping the other person grounded. Rayla keeps him upright; Callum refuses to let her spiral when she starts to blame herself. 

When she offers to go off on her own or goes to hunt down Viren, repeating the exact same patterns that took her away from him in the first place. 

And I think the final moment isn’t him approving of Rayla’s self sacrificial tendencies - he’ll always prefer to have her home safe with him, or at least by her side - but him accepting that this is a part of her he cannot change or comfort away. He couldn’t two years ago and he can’t do it now, either. It’s very reminiscent of Ethari’s quote about Runaan in Bloodmoon Huntress:

Ethari: Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing that he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may need to sacrifice everything. Himself, and all that we have here.

Rayla: But how can you forgive him for putting himself in such danger? How can you be okay with that?

Ethari: It hurts. Sometimes for much longer than I’d like. But there’s nothing to forgive him for. I’ve known since we met that this is Runaan’s calling, that nothing will deter him from fulfilling his duty. It is a necessary part of loving him — understanding his deep devotion to his people.

We know that Callum still loves her. We know that he wants to forgive her, and more than that, he wishes he could, easily. He wishes it could be easy. 

But as Ezran says earlier in the season, we have to hold the love and the pain in our hearts at the same time. Callum has been struggling to do so. He doesn’t want to be hurt again, and loving Rayla hurts. In S4, he hopes that maybe it won’t, if he can forgive her, if they’ve both changed. But it’s clear by 4x09 that he hasn’t, as he stares worriedly at the gates while the others just look happy, because he’s thinking of her:

Because she brings him down to his knees all over again.

Loving Rayla, until she chooses to break her own cycles, until she chooses to be more measured than Runaan, is always going to hurt him. He can’t change that for her. He can either accept her wholly, unconditionally, as she is right now (not who she may or may not become), or he can walk away.

Callum chooses to run to her

and to love her, pain and all, anyway. 

[hiccstrxd]

Heaven is you

This was an idea i had for Rayla's birthday and the outline seemed too wholesome to not do it lol. It has family feels and rayllum being soft as always. Read it on ao3.

Summary: Rayla always remembers her past birthdays with fondness. But this one in particular has brought her an abundant amount of joy, filling her heart with the purest of loves.

Or a recollection of Rayla’s birthdays through the years.

i.

Rayla always remembers her past birthdays with fondness.

She recalls being four and waking up to her mum’s soft voice in her ear, a happy birthday, my love being lovingly murmured in the air. She would pretend that she was asleep, cracking one eye open from time to time and doing her best to contain in her laughter as her mother would start to rub her hair soothingly to wake her up. But she would burst into a fit of giggles before her mum could say anything else — even though Rayla is pretty sure she saw past her flimsy excuse of a stoic facade — and her mother would start to laugh alongside her, tickling her belly and asking her when has her little moonbeam gotten this sneaky.

She hadn’t, obviously.

She’d scoop her in her arms and they would go downstairs where her dad would be cooking her favorite breakfast — he’d always go all out when it was her birthday. And he’d see them still laughing as they approached, he’d see them — his two favorite people ever — and he’d come up to them, lifting her in his arms and making her laugh, telling her that today she chose what they would do because today was all hers. Because he’d move earth and sky for his tiny warrior.

And she remembers the glimmer in her mum’s eyes, her father’s beaming smile, her own expression mirroring theirs; she remembers feeling loved, safe, and content.

ii.

Rayla recalls being eleven and coming back after nearly an entire day of training to a cake on the dining table, a sole candle lit on its center, and a neatly folded paper resting beside it. It was rather late, her whole body ached as the practice had been a vigorous one, but upon seeing the homemade gateau she no longer felt the ever consuming exhaustion. No, she felt lighter, more at ease.

Ethari had been sporting the warmest of smiles, his eyes showing every bit of love towards his foster daughter who they had come to care for as their own. Runaan had walked over to where his husband was and stood right next to him, somehow matching his emotion almost instantly — he had been sort of tense before leaving the meadow — and they had wished her the happiest of birthdays, holding her tightly in their embrace, muttering words of comfort and pride and love.

She remembers thinking that there was still a void in her heart as the aftermath of her parents’ absence, but being there surrounded by her two guardians that loved her an abundant amount and whom she loved as much in return, that showed her day after day their support and their care was enough to bring her solace.

She had felt love all the same.

And she always looked forward to reading her parents’ letter at the end of the end. The words were like a warm hug from afar. She became misty-eyed and held the letter close to her heart for hours as if she was keeping her parents in a safe place near her heart.

iii.

She recalls being sixteen and sitting alone in the Xadian forest. She had been wounded and restless, tired and alone. Everywhere and everything hurt, but ironically she had felt numb from head to toe. Somewhere in the back of her mind she vaguely remembered what that day was supposed to be.

And the bittersweet afterthought made matters worse because then the pang in her chest was just a little too hard to ignore.

Rayla had felt cold and empty, being alone with her thoughts was as harmful as it sounded and the unbecoming urge to cry was getting hard to suppress. But she ended up shedding tears, letting them fall freely as they have been welling up and contained in since much too long ago.

It was her birthday, and she had tried to forget it, making herself not feel, perhaps then the pain would subdue.

It hadn’t.

iv.

It was her birthday and she couldn’t get the royal physician’s words out of her head. They were spinning, echoing, repeating themselves. And she felt equal amounts of excitement and trepidation all at once.

Congratulations Your Highness, you’re with child.

They have been trying, of course, they have, so the news shouldn’t be such a surprise to hear that their efforts had actually turned out fructiferous. But they have, and she didn’t know how to assimilate them without cutting the appointment short and leaving a very confused physician behind, one who was patiently waiting for a reaction out of her.

Because she was excited and elated and so beyond happy that it was taking a lot of willpower to remain seated and not run off to find Callum.

“Your Highness? Is everything all right?”

She blinked, “Of course.” Rayla offered them a smile. How could it not be, honestly?

And after a couple of recommendations and how they’d like to see her in the span of a few weeks — after all, the babe was still a halfling and the pregnancy was to be monitored constantly for that matter — they bid her goodbye with another well-meaning congratulation on the way.

Rayla couldn’t help the fast pace in which she was walking nor the beaming smile from breaking out.

“Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking nonstop for you. What did the physician say?” She heard Callum’s voice round the corner; the worried tone of her husband of three years was enough to make her smile deepened because he was just the sweetest person ever and she just knows that he’s going to be the best father out there.

And the mere thought was enough to make her heart burst with adoration.

He took a couple of steps forward and placed one hand on her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth, “Are you all right?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words left her mouth before she had time to catch herself, before she had any time to dwell on how to tell him, but after they were out, she knows that there was no better way, no better time. Because seeing those expressive, loving eyes widen in realization, going through every emotion in the span of a second, how his hand stilled its movement on her cheek and how she heard his breath catch in his throat was as heartwarming as if she’d had outlined a grander plan in advance to break the big news to him.

“Really?” He whispered, barely audible.

She hummed.

“You are pregnant?”

She hummed again.

“There’ll be a tiny, perfect mix of the both of us in a couple of months?”

Rayla nodded unable to keep the grin off her face, her arms coming upwards to lace them loosely around his neck and raising herself on her tiptoes to breath small kisses across his cheek — damn those two inches he had gained on her. Their chests were pressed together, and she felt the deep rumble in his chest that soon turned into a peal of boisterous laughter that surely could be heard through the entire hallway. The sound was too contagious to not let out one of her own.

His arms came to encircle her waist, engulfing her in a tight hug, both of them shaking with laughter and happiness and pure delight.

“We’re having a baby.”

“We are.”

They pulled back slightly, faces inches away from each other’s, noses brushing against one another, breaths mingling in their shared space. She wanted to capture this blissful moment in a picture.

And then his lips slowly curved into a smug grin.

“Don’t.” Rayla raised a single brow, looking pointedly at him because she knew where his mind had headed in a matter of seconds. And because she also remembers rather vividly exactly what he had thought about — it had been a very nice anniversary gift, after all. It had carried the promise of fervent love, a burning passion, and a couple’s desire of at last starting a family.

He let out an amused laugh, “I didn’t even say anything!”

“You didn’t have to, I practically saw you thinking about it!” She rolled her eyes playfully and crossed her arms over her chest, letting out a huff in faux disbelief at her husband’s antics. They locked gazes, grass green meeting amethyst violet, a glimmer in both of them. They couldn’t help the small laugh thereafter.

His eyes softened as the laughter ceased, pulling her closer by the waist and planting one tender kiss on the lips, feeling all the love conveyed in such a small action and trying to reciprocate as much as she was receiving.

“I love you.” She said lovingly when they parted, her hands coming up to cup his jaw in a light grasp.

He brought one hand to his lips, kissing the underside softly, “I adore you.”

Rayla knows that it wouldn’t be easy, parenting — motherhood— never was as the rising self-doubts, the exhaustion of both mind and body, the anxiety of diving into the unknown, and all the possible mistakes that were bound to be made. But, she thinks, as long as they have each other — and everyone else who has been there for that matter — this baby would be raised with abundant love and affection. She'd make sure of it.

It was superfluous to say that this birthday by far had brought her one of her greatest joys. A surprise that couldn’t be topped by any other.

[ask-runaan-anything]

Was there ever a time you worried about your marriage (even if it turned out unfounded)? How did you overcome it?

I overcame it by being a soft fool for my husband, and by actually talking to him, and listening as well. You know, the usual.

Angst warning, little shadows.

The first time that Ethari worked on a big village project as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove, he spent long hours, and long days, in the company of his fellow crafters. He was in charge, so he had to be there from very early until very late, for more than two full Moons.

I was busy training, as always, and I didn’t understand what the difference in our daily rhythms would mean at first. But I started to miss little things, like morning tea with him, and letting him do all the talking to Rayla’s teachers at PTA meetings, and extra long hair brushing sessions where he and I would talk of soft things.

I missed them, and I missed him. But I had my duty, and he had his. And so we continued on.

I took a bit of a tumble in training after a while, but Ethari was in a big consultation meeting, so I patched myself up, with a little help from Rayla. Ethari looked sad when he saw my injuries, but he didn’t say anything.

A few days later, he came home with bandages of his own, along his shoulder and one side of his chest, and I nearly had a heart attack. But he brushed it off, saying it wasn’t that bad and a support structure had just gotten out of hand during construction, and his team was just being overly protective of their project leader. So I let that go, too.

Then.

Then his team publicly revealed the project they’d been striving over so long and hard, and I had to stand in the crowd and listen to my husband say that the village wouldn’t need assassin patrols like before, because his team had crafted an early warning system attuned to sensing approaching life forms around the village’s protective spells. And they were planning on extending the alarm towers in a spreading pattern out from the village, too.

Excuse me??

I may have stalked off, but I assure you, it was just to find a quiet place to think. I definitely wasn’t furious, not me. Did not at all feel like my entire purpose in life was being casually discounted and replaced by a, a, a, a magic pillar.

Was that all I was to Ethari, in my professional capacity, a magic pillar? That he could just up and replace me, my service to the Silvergrove? Did he only want me doing my duty far far away in the human lands where he didn’t have to hear about it? Was my being an assassin repellent to him?

Under my fury--which I totally did not have--I was scared. And lost. I thought I knew what our professional partnership meant: he made the swords and I swung them. Simple. But he had gone and made these plans, and involved the whole village, and they all went along with it.

I worried that Ethari was lying to them, that they thought that because it was Ethari making these defenses, that he had my approval and support, and so did his project.

I was not a hot mess of negative feels, nope, not me, not this stoic assassin. I was Fine.

I may have stopped speaking to my husband, though. May have needed more information than I had access to and didn’t want to misstep without it. Didn’t know if my trust in him had been misplaced.

That’s, um. That’s a very bad feeling. I hated it with every fiber of my being.

So I lurked around my own house in silence, trying not to spend much time in any room with Ethari, lost in my own worries. Meanwhile, at work, I changed exactly nothing about our training routines. Somehow, I would find a way to keep my assassins relevant to the village’s needs, on top of our missions.

Ethari pulled away from me, too, when he realized I’d gone silent. He didn’t know what it meant, he’d never seen that from me before. But he constantly offered small tokens of connection, trying to reach me.

I wanted to reach out to him, so badly. I desperately needed to understand. But at the same time, I didn’t trust him anymore, not like I had. When you crave reassurance but your only source is the person who hurt you... My thoughts went through some dark cycles then. The darkest of which was something like: Should I just leave the village and let them ghost me for choosing an elf who so completely failed to understand my life’s purpose and ended up hamstringing the assassins and their ability to perform their duty for Xadia and led to the ruination of the Moonshadow elves’ honor in the eyes of all our fellow elves and the Dragon Throne?

The genuine terror that I may have failed to understand Ethari’s heart so deeply that I’d brought the end of my entire people as we knew ourselves... was not a good headspace.

“Runaan. Runaan, you haven’t washed your hair in days.” Ethari tentatively lifted the end of my ponytail and showed me a bit of leaf that had been there yesterday. And the day before.

I nodded and took my ponytail from him, and I started toward the bath to take care of it. Can’t let your appearance slide, not if you’re a Moonshadow elf.

But he followed me. I was exhausted, and lonely, and afraid, and very much lost in my own head. And Ethari had always made me feel better. So, in a moment of weakness, I let him wash my hair again. I needed him, however I could get him, even if I couldn’t trust him anymore.

He poured clean water over my hair and sluiced out my bubbly shampoo, and then he paused. I tensed up, waiting, not sure what to expect. He leaned close from behind me and rested his forehead against my wet hair.

And then I heard him sob. “Where have you gone, my heart? What have I done to push you away? I was only trying to help you, I promise. Please, Runaan. Tell me how I can make it better. I’ll do anything. I’ll always do anything for you.” And he pressed his head against mine and cried.

I nearly broke the edges of the tub, I was squeezing them so hard. Wherever Ethari was coming from, it wasn’t the place I had imagined. “You... never asked,” I managed to say. My voice sounded strange, rusty.

“I wanted to surprise you. You’ve always liked my surprises before,” he murmured.

“Your trinkets weren’t trying to put me out of a job,” I sassed.

“I was trying to keep you safe!” he exclaimed. “Fewer patrols, fewer skirmishes. But if that’s how you feel about my project, I’ll scrap it.”

And just like that, the old Ethari resurrected in my heart. He’d never changed. I hadn’t read him wrong. We just... hadn’t communicated well.

I turned in the tub and faced him, cupping his cheeks in my wet hands. “You impulsive fool,” I begged him, “why didn’t you consult with me first? Or any assassin? All your work, and you never asked any of us.”

His dark brows bent. “You never keep the right secrets from each other.”

That sent my heart racing, because I knew he was right, and I couldn’t say so. I scooted away from him on my knees and shoved my face under the water and shouted out of sheer frustration. When I pushed myself up again, panting for breath, Ethari’s mood shifted suddenly.

“Wait, Runaan, I think I can fix this. The bubbles you just made... Yes, I have an idea. And as soon as you’re dressed, I’d like to consult with you properly on it. If you’ll let me...?” He bit his lip and waited nervously.

I slicked my hair back and took a deep breath. “No special treatment.”

“What?”

“The Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove shouldn’t give out special treatment. You need to treat me the same as everyone else.”

Well, that made one of his brows pop, and he looked me up and down in the tub. “I’m not sure I have that much shampoo on hand, love.”

I firmed my lips to keep from smiling at his sass. “When it comes to project consultation, Ethari. Let’s start from the beginning, where we should’ve begun in the first place. Tell me what you want, and I’ll tell you what I need. That’s how we’ve always done things. We shouldn’t have changed a formula that works.”

He nodded for a moment. “I’m sorry. I did give you special treatment, and it’s gone all wrong. I shouldn’t have tried to soften your hard side. You need it to keep yourself safe.”

“I do.” Our eyes met for a long moment, and then I squeezed his shoulders and pressed my forehead against his, finally confident once again that Ethari was the elf I thought I’d fallen in love with. “But I will give you care of my soft side again, my heart. I am sorry I doubted you.”

“You doubted me?” Ethari breathed.

I nodded against his forehead. “It was... severely unpleasant and I never wish to repeat it.”

Ethari whisked a towel around my shoulders and used it to pull me closer. “Then I’ll never give you cause, my shade. Let’s get you dried off. You have a consult with the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove in a little while, and I want you looking your best for him.”

I pulled Ethari into a tight, wet hug and squeezed my eyes shut, clinging desperately to his warm and stable strength. “He deserves my best.”

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Another layer to the kiss

I’m still sad over Runaan and Ethari’s emotional states after they learned about Lain and Tiadrin. Gonna work through some angsty thoughts here, so hold on.

Of course Runaan shut down his feelings. He’s a very goal-oriented elf. His job is entirely dependent on results, so his philosophy will reflect that. And the first thing he’ll want to do is Fix This Mess. For Rayla, for his family, for the Silvergrove, for all the Moonshadow elves. That’s... that’s a lot of fixing, okay. He’s carrying the pride and the honor of his entire race on his shoulders. And it would probably crush him if he ever admitted how heavy it is. So he doesn’t. For everyone’s sake, he shuts down his feelings and gets the f*ck to work.

Unfortunately for Ethari, that shuts him out at the very moment when he needs support the most. Of course he’s angry and frustrated over the betrayal Lain and Tiadrin supposedly committed. His trust was broken and he looks like a fool for giving it to them, just like Runaan. But Runaan’s gone and dragged Rayla into the equation, and he’s refusing to listen to reason. In hiding from his feels, Runaan’s endangering Rayla. 

Ethari’s overflowing with feels, they’re pouring out of him in all directions, you guys, because Runaan isn’t reaching back toward him to accept any of them. Runaan’s self-quarantining. So Ethari’s pouring his hot negativity into his work, overdoing it, trying to burn it out only to wake and find all that fuel replenished again. And when even that isn’t enough--when being kept at arm’s length by his own husband gets to be too much--Ethari shuts himself away for a while and cries. 

Ethari cries alone. 

He knows Runaan’s working his butt off to get ready for that Katolis mission. He’s working with Rayla, he’s probably juggling the hopes and concerns of the entire Silvergrove, too. Runaan’s the leader of the Silvergrove assassins, he’s a pillar of the community, and the Silvergrove desperately needs some stability right now. And Runaan’s stepping up.

For everybody but Ethari. 

Ethari’s paying the price for the whole village, and it’s making him cry. But he’s doing it. He keeps working, he stays as strong as he can, he’s channeling everything he can into his work. He’s making it through one day at a time. Because his village needs him, too.

Here’s how it looks to me right now: Runaan left Ethari before he left the Silvergrove to go to Katolis. He pulled away that day, and they’ve been distanced ever since. Runaan hasn’t processed a single damn feeling yet, and Ethari’s a mess trying to process alone. They’re imbalanced because they let go of each other. Because Runaan let go. Because he always puts his duty first, and Ethari second.

And Ethari always puts Runaan first.

In these two very different emotional states, it’s no wonder they couldn’t agree over Rayla going on Runaan’s mission. Runaan would refuse to entertain any emotional appeals. But that’s all Ethari could offer.

I’m dead on the floor at the thought of Ethari trying, once again, to appeal softly to Runaan, and Runaan just shutting him down. “Ethari, we’re not discussing this again. I have work to do.” The hard assassin leaves, still avoiding all of his feels. And the soft craftsman left behind can’t help but cry. Again. 

The ringing of Ethari’s hammer on the anvil would travel through the whole tree house. Runaan and Rayla would know when he was working, no matter the hour. They’d know that he’d been at the forge all day, or all night. If they were ever home from training. Which they probably aren’t, much.

Appearances, appearances. Of course they kept things soft in front of Rayla. She’s tangled up on so many levels of their disagreement that there’s no separating her from them. So they smooth and smooth and avoid and avoid, pretending they agree. It’s a very tense house, but it’s all under the surface. I hope.

Now, to that kiss. Because oof.

It’s been five or so months at this point. Runaan’s locking his feels down so tight that he’s pooping emotional diamonds. Ethari’s starving for scraps of true affection, for that deep and beautiful connection they once had. And then the lotus ritual begins.

Ethari needs Runaan. He needs him to be his old self, to open up again and help Ethari balance. He’s been clinging to Runaan’s touches and glances and smiles for months. There probably aren’t many. It’s not quite like being married to a ghost, but it’s close. Runaan’s not home much, and when he is, he’s preoccupied. He could easily think that taking time to shift into Soft Mode is a distraction he just can’t afford. it’s not that he doesn’t want to. It’s that he doesn’t think he deserves to be that selfish when so much is at stake. He always does everything at 110% focus, minimum, and this is no different.

my god Runaan I could smack you

But Ethari needs Runaan. And he hasn’t had him for months. So when he says “My heart goes out with this one,” he’s reaching out, one last time, and telling Runaan how much he needs and loves him. Because it’s true, and it’s always been true. Runaan has his whole heart. Ethari’s going to be a mess while Runaan and Rayla are gone. He’ll be begging the Moon to make everything alright again so he can just move forward. He’s been stuck in the same hell for months and it’s a disaster.

Ethari needs Runaan.

But then Runaan does this amazing thing. He knows darn well where he’s had to go, emotionally, in order to work this problem, to support everyone around him so they don’t all collapse together. And he’s relying on the success of this mission, see, to restore the balance he’s lost, too. He wants to open up to Ethari again. He wants to be able to soften up at home like he used to. He knows he’s in an artificial emotional state, and he’s ready to be done with it, the second he’s accomplished the goal he locked himself down to achieve.

So he tells his husband, “Don’t worry, I will return your heart to you.” All soft and precious. Like he used to. Because he’s ready to let it all go and let Ethari back in. He’s saying that when he comes home, when Ethari sees him next, that he’ll come back soft and whole again. Ready to open up and share and bond. He’s promising to return to normal with Ethari.

Your heart has been distracted for months, Ethari. But after this, you’ll have it back again, right where you want it. I promise.

I think it’s critical here that Runaan initiates the kiss. Ethari tilts his head and leans into Runaan’s touch, maybe because it’s been far too long since Runaan touched him so softly. Ethari’s jonesing for his husband’s touch, and he just throws himself into it when Runaan initiates contact.

Runaan is kissing Ethari because Ethari needs to be kissed. Runaan knows he’s pulled away from him, to whatever degree. But Ethari longs for soft comforting touches, for the everyday presence of Runaan right near him, so Runaan offers him a down payment on his return. He’d dearly love to be able to focus on such soft things with Ethari. But he can’t. Not yet. And yet, even then, he can’t abandon Ethari’s feelings and make him wait another two weeks, all alone. That kiss is a promise, from Runaan to Ethari, that better days are coming back.

And god does Ethari lean into that promise. He chases it so hard that Runaan has to step back from its intensity to keep his own balance (literally and figuratively). Ethari doesn’t care about balancing just then. He’s getting lost and dizzy with feels, with what he’s missed. But Runaan’s not done with his mission yet, so he’s the one to pull back. He still can’t afford to give into those feels like he wants to.

And Ethari’s caught between savoring the moment and feeling guilty and lost and alone again. He settles back onto his feet and looks down, sad, embarrassed, resigned.

But Runaan doesn’t want to leave Ethari feeling guilty for wanting what they used to have Tilting Ethari’s chin so they can see eye to eye again, raising his eyebrows, looking softly into his eyes, even smiling encouragingly? Who is this soft assassin?

Runaan wants to come home. He wants to come in from the cold and lose himself in Ethari’s embrace. He knows where he is emotionally and why, but he never planned to stay there. He’s eager to leave and come back to his husband. It’s going to be okay, his soft gesture says. It’s going to be okay.

And Ethari laps it up. He’s softly grateful for Runaan’s concern, for his tender message. For the kiss, for the reassurance. He offers the lotus, so Runaan can be on his way. The sooner he heads out, the sooner he can come home whole.

Runaan takes the lotus with careful hands, and gives Ethari one last soft smile, grateful for Ethari’s enchantments and tech, after months of prep. Ethari’s stress-hammering has paid off, and everything’s set and good to go. Runaan turns away with his smile intact--Ethari may have been an emotional wreck, but his work ethic puts everyone in the village to shame. He’s done everything he needed to do while holding himself together with soft pillows and twine and tissue boxes.

Ethari really is strong. He’s stronger than Runaan, emotionally. He got everything done and ready, and he felt his feels the whole time. Runaan can’t manage that. He doesn’t work that way, not under this much stress.

Ethari watches his husband turn away to slip into Assassin Mode, and he’s a little overcome with pride and happiness. Runaan’s got this. He can do anything. And when he does it, then everything will get back to normal. 

Ethari’s got hope, true hope, lighting him up inside.

It doesn’t last, though. Because unfortunately for everyone, Ethari was right about Rayla. The very state that Runaan locked himself into in order to work was the state that made him unable to see the fatal flaw in his plan.

Ethari spent the week after Runaan’s lotus sank being more alone than ever. Feeling Runaan’s promise break. Realizing that he lost the rest of Runaan to Katolis, and he’s never getting any of him back. His life’s been on a downward spiral for six months, and that last drop wrenched his heart out.

But then Rayla walked back into his life.

When he stalked off angrily after blaming her for abandoning the squad, do you think he stress-cried? I do. 

He had to let off a lot of emotional steam really quickly to get so much calmer and able to walk down the stairs to the pool all focused like that. Somewhere around a corner in the workshop, Ethari slipped out of view, pressed his back to a wall, covered his mouth with his hands, and burst into silent tears over seeing Rayla again. Over having everything torn open afresh.

He absolutely talked to Runaan inside his head. I’m going. I’m going after her, Runaan. I’m not losing her too. You locked yourself away from me when I needed you most. I’m not doing that with Rayla. I”m not. She’s just a child--like I told you--and she deserves better. 

And out he went, to be the bravest and sturdiest elf dad he could, to shoulder his pain and offer her comfort at the same time. And she threw herself into his arms. The emotional openness Ethari craved came full circle. It came back to him from Katolis after all.

[hoothalcyon]

Nyx and Ethari as Travel Companions: How They Could Work

seeing as I love both characters, I thought it’d be interesting to explore the ways in which they’re different as well as what kind of travel companions they’d be! credit for this idea goes to @beautifulterriblequeen :)

i’m having trouble coming up with where exactly they’d be headed, so for this post I’ll be looking into the current states of their characters and the ways in which they could help each other.

this post is LONG so beware lmao

the first idea i can think of is how blatantly opposite the two are. Nyx’s entire character represents being free and living without constraints, and her wings help her achieve this unique lifestyle. she’s a nomad and a thief, relinquishing herself from: a stable, down to earth lifestyle, and proper morals. she does what she wants because she finds entertainment in it as well as a means of providing for herself and living. she steals because she has to and wants to. I’ll get more into how this could also cause her to face disadvantages later on.

ethari is so very different. in s3 we see how he is bound to his devastating grief for runaan and the societal expectations that the silvergrove imposes. he ghosts rayla because he does not have the luxury of autonomy and individual choice, and he regrets it. as I mentioned earlier, he is in heavy grief, which no doubt has taken over his life, due to everything he considered so significant in his life shattering and breaking before his eyes. although the silvergrove has provided many benefits to his life in the past, such as meeting his husband and friend group, keeping him and the other elves safe, giving him a stable occupation which he seems to like, it can also be accounted when recognizing the negatives present in his life. 

back to how nyx’s lifestyle could affect her negatively. the state of her day to day is ambiguous, and whether she has a group of other skywing friends or she is completely by herself is up for debate and to the audience’s imagination. personally, i like to hc she’s completely alone it’s for the angst, so it’s no surprise to anyone how this can affect someone negatively. loneliness is debilitating, and it affects one’s self worth and general mood. i definitely headcanon that underneath nyx’s zany and cunning exterior, there’s a somber, lonely elf. 

what caused me to think this? weeelll~

the simple act of her asking why rayla saved her along with her reacting like that when callum started talking about how much he loves and adores rayla tells me that she was not only surprised by the fact that someone thought she was worthy enough to be saved, but that seeing callum love rayla so deeply and adoringly made her realize/remember what a gap she has in her life, and how she doesn’t have someone to be the callum to her rayla. she’s faced with a number of realizations in this scene, and they all pertain to the absent spaces in her personal life. she also probably blames herself for this, so ouch. 

this would be very different if nyx and ethari’s roles were reversed in this scenario. ethari would be gazing at what he has lost, rather than never had. he’d be hit with the all-too-real memories of having a close and warm love like rayla and callum do.

so, what can nyx and ethari do for each other? i’ll start with what ethari can do for our lonely rogue.

ethari is no doubt a warm person, his caring nature is unavoidable, and he has a positive outlook in general and on everyone he meets for the first time, and this radiates outwardly. he provides a welcoming aura, and makes you want to be honest and good. this is probably what began to break down runaan’s walls when they met and started courting. ethari’s inherent warmth brought runaan out of his shell, and if he can do that for the repressed leader of the assassins, he can do it for anyone.

ethari would look at this lanky, winged elf and continually give her the benefit of the doubt/leeway, even after she’s given him reason not to and shown her shiftiness. ethari is married to runaan, who knows all the tricks of stealth and achieving what you want while still deceiving your victim/onlookers. nyx could probably only trick ethari once without him having expected it, and then he would begin to see her internal planning and know when she’s about to strike. but like i said, he wouldn’t get mad at her like rayla or anyone else would, and it’s not because of how her resources can help him. 

this would surprise nyx, as she’s used to her victims being either surprised, mad, or any other negative emotion. she wouldn’t let this catch up to her until later, when she’s finally been forced to be vulnerable and unable to keep her feelings and thoughts inside, which says a lot, considering how she keeps it all concealed under a zany exterior. 

the event in which nyx would be vulnerable is when the two are having an intimate conversation, in which nyx tells ethari about how lonely her lifestyle is and what she’s left behind and omitted as a means of achieving this. i could see the topic of what ethari does for a living coming up, and as he goes into detail about everything he makes and how unique and customized everything is, nyx could have an oh shit moment; some of the things she steals aren’t just random trinkets, they could be customized gifts that someone got from their loved one or were going to give to a loved one. bonus points if one of the things ethari mentions is something he made for rayla or runaan--showing how the things we give to others can sometimes hold even deeper sentimental meaning. she begins to see these things as stories rather than items to be stolen. 

another step in this conversation that i could see is nyx becoming slightly on board with accepting that maybe her lifestyle choices aren’t the best, but then retracting once she remembers that with friendships and emotional attachments comes emotional pain and turmoil. having heard ethari’s painful story of watching his husband’s lotus sink, she knows that letting yourself love and be loved often comes with detrimental results. she admits that she’s not sure if she’s ready for everything that friendships and relationships come with, especially the sad parts [insert her gesturing vaguely at ethari]. ethari quickly settles her worries by giving a heartfelt confession of how every minute that he spent basking in the wonderful and warm love he had with runaan was worth the terrible pain that the grief of him dying has left him with. after that, nyx admits another fear she has, one that rayla prodded out of her months before her and ethari’s journey; that she doesn’t know if she’s even worth someone’s attention or love. ethari yet again quickly shuts this down by using an analogy. His analogy involves him comparing the skywing to his crafts, and how his crafts aren’t worthy because of their use or even because of the effort he puts into them, but because they exist, and how that’s always for a reason.

now onto what nyx can do for ethari!

although ethari is a warm, loving person, he’s “in the worst grief of his life”, as stated by devon giehl on the HBMP podcast. his usual light has dimmed into one not as bright as his usual spark, as well as one more easily extinguished. this is where nyx comes in. ethari’s usual younger, larger than life female figure in his life (rayla) isn’t attainable yet, and could possibly be who he’s on his journey to find. 

the skywing’s energy is infectious, and the impossibly heavy anchor of grief slowly begins easing up on him as he watches her carefree demeanour and looks across the desert; a place he’s probably only been to a few times. rayla would hate this fact, but nyx would remind ethari of rayla. she’s cunning, quick witted, skilled, and has her own ideals. her offhanded comments and determination would remind him of the many years he housed rayla and got to witness her grow as a person. his heart would soften quickly, and nyx would find herself a new, loyal moonshadow friend. any companionship for ethari is sorely needed by him, and the spirited and energetic skywing would be a perfect match.

ethari and nyx’s journey would provide a sense of a good kind of unfamiliarity to ethari, as he has the chance to guide himself how he wants, rather than how the silvergrove/his culture wants (runaan is obviously exempt from this, i mean like, he’d be free from the silvergrove’s expectations and limitations, not runaan’s). nyx would stress this, and would cheer and holler as the moonshadow begins to let go of his stubborn moonshadow-isms. she shares her outlooks and beliefs on life, and how she tells him it’s good for anyone, especially moonshadows, to begin to think for themselves and break barriers on what is expected of them. ethari finds this difficult, but considering how he’s hinted at being “softer/different than the others”, he might take to this more easily than other moonshadows (*cough* runaan).

that’s all for my thoughts on what kind of travel companions nyx and ethari could be for each other! i might add onto this later on if I think of anything

[sufferingsoup]

More Pirate AU writing, but feat. ANGST this time around BOIS. She still very soft and kinda sappy tho ngl lol. I can’t help myself. Anyway, hi, it’s me, still obsessed with this AU. Hope you enjoy this! Also it’s unedited bc I’m lazy and barely want to post it as is lmao, so sorry about any mistakes! Check out more of this beautiful awesome amazing fantastic showstopping terrific gorgeous CRISP au @thenerdyalchemist

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The Truth

—————————————————

So many months.

It had been so many months since they had stopped sending their letters. So many months of desperate searching anywhere and everywhere. So many months of confusion and anger and sadness. And yet, not a single trace of Tiadrin or Lain had been found.

Runaan had started shutting down a couple months ago. Ethari tried his best to keep him hopeful, he couldn’t bear to see him in such a pitiful state, but the search was seeming increasingly useless every added day that nothing turned up. It truly seemed as though they had simply dropped off the face of the planet, gone for good. But that was hard. Tiadrin and Lain were nothing short of family to them, especially Runaan. They had been inseparable growing up, even through the loss of their adoptive father and Runaan’s sudden succession to the pirate throne. Tiadrin and Lain had stuck by him through everything, and Runaan had stuck by them in return. And that love extended to Ethari as well.

Ethari could still remember the short-lived terror, followed by the massive wave of relief and happiness when Tiadrin dumped the bucket of water on him, revealing his deepest, darkest secret to them. They had been confused and a bit shocked at first, no doubt, but it didn’t take either of them long to start cracking jokes and messing about like normal. Their opinions of Ethari hadn’t changed at all, and they had accepted him fully for what he was.

He could still feel Lain’s comforting touch and hear his relaxing jokes and stories as he gave Ethari all of his necessary tattoos in one sitting. It was a rough day, but they had to get them all done in time for the wedding, and Ethari could think of no better person to give him these markings but Lain. He had a steady hand, a good eye for design, and an overwhelming amount of excitement for his best friends and their big day. He made sure Ethari wasn’t in more pain than was absolutely necessary, and did his best to keep his spirits up and nerves down in light of all the big life changes coming his way.

He could still hear the joyous sobbing as little Rayla was introduced to the world for the first time. Runaan had been clutching Tiadrin’s hand and aggressively encouraging her, just what she needed, and Ethari had been holding a trembling, anxiety-ridden Lain on the other side of the bed, trying to keep him as calm as possible. Lain, Tiadrin, and Ethari all broke down crying the second they saw her. Even Runaan’s eyes glistened with tears he stubbornly fought back, but he too broke down the second Tiadrin gently shoved the baby into his arms. All four of them welcomed a beautiful daughter into their hearts that day, and they all felt closer with each other than ever before.

But they were gone now.

Their big, happy family was torn apart, and nobody had any idea how it happened.

Runaan was taking it particularly hard. They had been siblings to him, and now he was left with their daughter and no explanation for her as to their disappearance. He was shutting himself out from everyone, even Ethari, in a desperate attempt to maintain some kind of control. He would be up all hours of the night, searching through his maps and notes and books in hopes of finding even the tiniest clue. He was exhausted and sad and angry and terrified all at once, but he would not allow Ethari - much less anyone else - to help him. He would snap at the crew over the tiniest of annoyances, and gods forbid any townsfolk get in his way when they were docked; if Runaan hadn’t been intimidating before, he was absolutely terrifying now. He would make mistakes and drops things when he was especially upset, which only made him all the more angry. He had given up taking care of himself almost entirely. His hair was always a frazzled mess, he would forget to eat until Ethari all but forced him to, and the bags under his eyes seemed to be carrying the weight of the world within them.

Ethari sighed heavily, clutching the tiny baby in his arms protectively as he swung lightly in his and Runaan’s hammock. Runaan was holding a meeting of sorts, calling all the pirate captains he could to see if anyone had found anything, and to try to come up with a new plan. Ethari scrunched his eyes shut tightly for a moment, shaking his head before staring back up at the ceiling.

/It’s useless, they aren’t gonna have anything new.../

His heart ached. Of course he wanted to find them, or at least an explanation, but it had been a year. If nothing had turned up before, it was extremely unlikely anything would turn up now. He just wanted Runaan to drop it. The constant searching was worthless, and it was doing nothing good for his physical or mental state. He just wanted to pull Runaan into his arms and hold him while he cried. He just wanted to help him come to terms with the death of their beloved friends. He just wanted Runaan to take little Rayla in his arms and acknowledge her as their new daughter. He needed to move on from this, but he refused to do so.

Ethari dragged a tired hand over his face before looking down at the peacefully resting baby in his arms. She stared back up at him with big, bright, lilac eyes, burbling at him. He offered her a sad smile and offered a finger to her. She grasped it firmly with her tiny hands and examined it quizzically for a moment before shoving it into her mouth. Ethari chuckled softly and allowed her to suckle on the tip of his finger for a moment before taking it away. He mussed up her soft tufts of hair as she watched him.

“Oh, Rayla, what’re we gonna do?” He asked her quietly.

She just stared back at him, enthralled by his deep, soothing voice.

“He’s killing himself over this. I don’t know how to get through to him this time, he won’t listen to me no matter what I say.” He sighed.

She prattled at him in response.

“Yeah? You should talk some of that sense into him.” He replied.

Rayla released a loud squawk and a giggle.

He chuckled and nuzzled their noses together gently, allowing her to tangle her tiny fingers in his ratty white hair and tug as she liked.

“You always know just what to say.” He sighed, smiling sadly as he watched her play with his soft, uneven locks.

The bedroom door slamming open told him Runaan was back. He snapped his gaze towards the entrance as his husband stomped into the room with steam billowing out of his ears. He threw his captain’s hat on the floor and chucked off his cloak. Ethari sighed softly and rolled out of the hammock, approaching him cautiously. Rayla watched Runaan intensely as they drew nearer.

“Nothing?” Ethari asked. Runaan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Don’t start.” He snapped, heading straight for his desk without sparing him a glance.

“I wasn’t.” Ethari stated, allowing his mild annoyance at Runaan’s dismissal to show on his face. He stared at his husband’s back as he leaned over his desk, “I don’t live and breathe just to hassle you, you know.”

Runaan sighed deeply, his shoulders tensing for a moment before he stood up straight and turned around, staring at the floor.

“Right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you.” He admitted, his voice gentler this time.

He walked back up to Ethari and took his waist with one hand, cupping his cheek softly with the other and pressing their foreheads together. Rayla stared up at them quietly from between their chests.

“Nobody has found anything, and...” he cut himself off, his grip on Ethari tightening a bit as his face scrunched up in frustration.

Ethari gave him a gentle kiss, wrapping a comforting hand around the back of his neck. Runaan melted into his touch, but he was still tense. Ethari sighed and pulled back a bit, sliding his hand up to rest along Runaan’s jaw. He tilted his face up towards his own with his palm and fiddled with Runaan’s earrings with his fingers, examining his tired face. Runaan looked back into Ethari’s eyes, his walls up and guarding his emotions, but Ethari was already behind those walls with them. He was sad and angry and deep in denial. Ethari gave Runaan a meaningful peck on the tip of his nose before tangling his hand into Runaan’s messy hair and pulling it out of its bun. It unraveled and fell to its full, glorious length, but it was still quite messy.

“C’mon, let’s get you straightened out. This is no way for the great pirate king to look” he said softly, taking Runaan’s hand and tugging him towards their hammock. Runaan resisted, sighing heavily and trying to shake his hand away.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t have time. I need to look over-“

“No, you don’t.” Ethari gripped his hand firmly and gave him a stern look that softened after a moment, “You’ve looked over every piece of paper on this ship and all the others’ about a thousand times each now. I can’t even read that well and I could probably recite each one to you.”

“But I /must/ have missed something! I just need to-“

“No, you don’t. My shade, you have poured every second of your life into this, every ounce of your energy, for the past year. There is nothing you could have possibly missed.”

“But-“

“Come.”

“Ethari...”

“Come here.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, having the same silent battle they had had so many times over the past year. Runaan heaved a heavy sigh and looked down.

“Just once more, then you can have me for the night.” He bargained, hoping his usual excuse would work. Ethari stood his ground this time.

“It’s always ‘just once more,’ isn’t it? Then it’s all night and all of the next day and then you’re off on another false lead the next.”

Runaan remained silent, staring at the floor, his hand lifeless in Ethari’s grasp. Ethari stepped towards him again, pushing Rayla gently into his arms. Runaan looked away and tried to step back, but Ethari wouldn’t allow him to run again.

“You haven’t held her in weeks.” He stated.

“I shouldn’t. Not like this.”

“Why? Would you hurt her?”

“No! I would never!”

“Then take her.”

“I can’t.” Runaan hesitated.

“You can. You will.” Ethari insisted.

“I shouldn’t.”

“She is your daughter.”

Runaan stared into Ethari’s serious eyes incredulously. Ethari knew how Runaan felt about becoming Rayla’s father. He loved her with all his heart, and he promised them he would take care of her if anything happened. But he didn’t feel like he deserved it, didn’t think he could be a proper parent. He didn’t want to take Lain or Tiadrin’s place in Rayla’s heart. He didn’t want to accept that this was their new reality. A tiny voice from between them broke their silent argument.

“Wuni!”

They both looked down at the baby in Ethari’s arm. Rayla’s big eyes were set on Runaan’s, and her tiny hands were reaching out towards him desperately. She was squirming insistently, trying to get closer to him. Runaan teared up, his lower lip trembling ever-so-slightly, and Ethari caressed his cheek gently.

“She’s missed you.” He said softly, pushing her closer to him. As soon as she could reach, she grabbed at one of the long, loose locks of bright white hair hanging over his shoulder. “Take her, and let me take you. We all need this.”

Finally, Rayla had won. Runaan took her gently into his arms, nodding hesitantly.

“Okay.” He breathed.

Ethari pulled him into their bedroom, sitting him down in their hammock while he gathered up a brush and some ribbons. He eased himself into the hammock behind Runaan and began to gently work the knots out of his hair. He brushed softly for a long time, Runaan relaxing back into Ethari’s lap as he played quietly with Rayla. He made sure to massage Runaan’s scalp a bit with every stroke, deeply enjoying the feeling of running his hands through his husband’s soft hair for the first time in weeks. He left the piece Rayla had claimed for later, as she seemed to be enjoying styling it herself with her mouth.

“So, what did you all decide?” He asked after a while. Runaan sighed and shook his head. Ethari could feel him tensing up again.

“Nothing. They want me to call it off. Damned cowards.” He spat.

Rayla protested by swinging her fists a bit at his sudden intensity, yanking at his hair. He pulled back a bit, but he was still tense.

“You don’t want to?” Ethari questioned.

“Why on Earth would I do that?”

“Because it’s been a year, and you haven’t found anything.”

“But we could!”

“After a year of nothing?”

Runaan sighed frustratedly.

“Listen, I understand that the chances are low, but we can’t just give up on them!”

“It isn’t giving up if you tried your best.”

“How? We’d be quitting without finding a single thing just because we’re tired.”

“After a full year of looking in every corner of the world trying to find anything and coming up empty handed every time.” Ethari sighed as he laid down the brush and began to weave his hair into a simple braid, leaving Rayla’s piece and a matching one on the other side of his face hanging over Runaan’s shoulders, “You can’t just keep looking for the rest of your life, love. You’re already killing yourself over this, it isn’t healthy.

“Trust me, I know how you feel, my shade. I miss them, too. I want an answer as much as you do. I want to be able to tell Rayla what actually happened to them, better yet to actually see them again. I love them, and you love them, but at some point you have to let this go.”

“But what if they’re still out there, Ethari? What if we’re just overlooking some tiny detail and all it would take is just once more search? How can I just stop when we could find something tomorrow?”

“How do you know you’ll ever find anything? When will it be enough? Do you want your entire life to be dedicated to finding them again?” Ethari questioned.

Runaan stayed silent, looking down at little Rayla and lightly shaking the long, thin finger she was gripping. Ethari tied off the first section of the braid with a dark green ribbon and wrapped his arms tightly around Runaan’s waist, pulling his back flush against his chest. He rested his chin on Runaan’s shoulder and gazed down at the baby in his husband’s strong arms.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but we’re her parents now.” He muttered against Runaan’s ear, “We need to take care of her. We need to be there for her, and you can’t do that if you’re wasting yourself away trying to find them. I don’t want her to lose another parent. I don’t want to raise her alone, Runaan.”

“I don’t want that either.” Runaan whispered, tears welling up in his eyes again as he leaned into Ethari’s touch, both to reassure his husband, and to comfort himself.

“Then don’t make me.” Ethari pleaded.

Runaan laid his head back against Ethari’s strong shoulder, staring up hopelessly at the ceiling.

“Just one last search. Just in case.” He offered half-heartedly. Ethari shook his head softly and pressed a sad kiss to Runaan’s neck.

“You know that won’t be it if you do.”

Runaan released a single, strained sob. Ethari felt the tears dripping onto his shoulder and held him a little tighter, his own eyes threatening to release the floodgates as well. Runaan turned his head towards Ethari’s, burying his face in his neck as Ethari gently rubbed his stomach.

“I know. I don’t like it either.” Ethari sniffed.

“I just want them to come back.” Runaan whimpered.

“I do too.” Ethari sobbed, crying with his husband.

They stayed this way for a long time, crying together in their hammock as Runaan finally saw the truth. Rayla watched them silently for a while, confused.

“Wuni? Dari? Oh no.” She whimpered, eyes pooling with tears. Runaan and Ethari looked down at her and shook their heads in unison.

“No, Rayla, it’s okay! We’re okay, little shadow.” Ethari cooed, wiping away his tears quickly and offering her a sad smile and a reassuring finger, which she happily grasped with one hand after letting go of some of Runaan’s hair. Runaan stroked her cheek softly, holding her a little tighter.

“We’ve got you, Rayla. We’re never leaving you.”

And that was the truth.

[ko-chan-the-blueberry-donut]

Fate’s Divergence Chapter 4

@the-bagel-queen

@astraskylark

@theanxiety-tm

@terra-mations

@deyinger

Thank you all for so much support for this story! I’m glad people are enjoying it so far!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Dragon Prince

-------------------

Callum tossed and turned, restless, in his bed. His eyes drifted to the moon, its glow reminding him of the elf girl’s white hair. He wondered what she was doing right now. Was she sleeping soundly? Was she restless just like him?

He hoped she was comfortable. He remembered his first night as a prince in the palace. He was super jumpy—constantly startling at any shadows in his new room. Everything was so foreign to him…

He sat up, a realization dawning on him. He had at least his mother when he first came here to help him settle into sleep while she didn’t appear to have anyone. His mother and the king didn’t mention she had any family. Was she an orphan?

Callum rose out of bed, his mind trying to uncover the mystery of the elf girl. He remembered how his family said Xadia couldn’t help her—was she upset Xadia kicked her out because she helped humans with the Titan’s heart?

“She must be lonely…” Callum whispered to himself, grabbing some stuffed animals to take with him to give her. “I’ll give her some of my toys to make her feel more at home!” He concluded quietly, smiling at his great idea.

He surveyed each toy critically, making sure to grab the dragon stuffed animal as well as tons of other animals. He hoped these made her happy. They were gifts from his mother and auntie. Hopefully, she didn’t think him too babyish for having them.

“It should be fine. Girls usually like stuffed animals…” Callum tried to reassure himself, remembering Claudia proudly showing off to him her own collection of stuffed toys. With that assertion, Callum crept out of his room, struggling with all his stuffed animals in his arms, and snuck down the hallways to where he remembered was the elf’s room. Luckily there were no guards patrolling down his hallway yet or else they definitely would notice a small boy almost drowned in stuffed animals. Arms overflowing with the plushies, he felt he dropped some before finally getting to his destination.

Arriving at her door, Callum silently opened it, sneaking inside. As soon as he opened the door, however, he could hear crying. Alarmed, Callum hurried inside the elf’s room, closing the door behind him so no one would catch him.

There she was on the bed, curling into a ball and sobbing her heart out. Callum’s heart squeezed uncomfortably at the scene. The moonlight washed over her like a pretty glow, highlighting her snow-white hair, horns, and pink pale skin. Seeing her, Callum was reminded of the beautiful princess with long hair trapped in her tower waiting for someone to come see her.

Dropping the toys, he scurried over to her side and laid a hand on her shoulder, not reserved at all in touching her.

The elf seemed to have finally realized she wasn’t alone for as soon as he touched her, she jolted and gazed up at him. Callum retracted his hand hurriedly, not wanting to scare her, and held up his hands in surrender.

“Hi!” he said, nervous and waving awkwardly. What should he say? He knew she didn’t speak Common and he didn’t speak Elvish. “Um! Don’t cry! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

Her eyes lit up in recognition, and she backed away a bit from him, scared.

“Hurt?” her eyes were alarmed and Callum rushed to reassure her.

“No! No hurt! I come in peace!” he tried to convey. He hoped she knew some more words.

“No… hurt?” this time, the elf furrowed her brow in confusion, trying to grasp what he was saying. He detected her voice had a strange accent.

“Right! No hurt! Just here to help!” Callum smiled reassuring her. He hurried to where the toys were discarded and brought them to her. “Here! I brought these to help you feel better!” Callum excitedly showed her his toys.

---------------------

Rayla blinked, not expecting the human child to show her what she presumed to be his toys. Her hand reached out tentatively, the boy watching her with an encouraging smile. She paused.

“No hurt?” Rayla checked again, her suspicious eyes finding his, ready to detect any sort of lie. The boy nodded.

“No hurt.” He assured her again. He climbed onto the bed, getting closer to her, before showing her his toys again. “No hurt.” He repeated.

Rayla studied him, and found he was not lying. The boy was not there to hurt her. She traced his features with her violet eyes, remembering him with her kidnappers. It seemed he was their offspring.

What did this mean? Was he not aware she was going to be executed? And yet, his presence here, the fact that her door wasn’t locked like she thought, her kidnappers being gentle with her… all signs were pointing to possibly another reason she was here.

But… the titan’s heart! She saw it. Why else would these humans keep an elf if it wasn’t for Dark Magic? She remembered Runaan’s stories. How humans only wanted power and nothing else. They were heartless and cruel.

So why was a human child sharing his toys with her?

Rayla reached out a hand again, hesitantly petting the soft fabric. The boy’s smile grew in happiness, and he handed her the dragon plush.

“I know you can’t go home to Xadia, but this guy will always protect you! He’s like your Dragon King, right?” the boy asked. Rayla furrowed her brow, trying to pinpoint words she recognized, and found he was referring to her king. She gazed down at the stuffed toy, and sure enough, he did resemble her king.

“Amin aran…” Rayla mumbled in mourning, touching the stuffed toy. Tears shined in her eyes, and the boy began to panic.

“Oh no! He wasn’t supposed to make you cry! Do you want another toy?” the boy asked, but Rayla couldn’t understand him. She clutched the dragon toy tight to her chest, shaking her head. She wished someone knew Elvish so she could talk to someone. She appreciated the boy’s efforts, but it wasn’t the same as Runaan or Ethari or her parents.

However, the boy surprised her again when he crawled over and hugged her to his small frame.

“No hurt!” the boy repeated. He gestured to the stuffed toy and himself. “No hurt. You’re safe here.”

Rayla sniffled. It seemed he was trying to comfort her. She didn’t understand why. She didn’t understand humans at all. She was tired and scared. The boy held her close as she cried, clutching the stuffed dragon between them.

Somehow, his embrace made her feel less alone.

--------------------

Sarai had risen early. She was accustomed to this since having Ezran, for he needed feeding in the early hours. Harrow was dressing for the day, preparing for today’s event of Viren’s spell. Both he and Sarai were solemn, knowing what the kingdom of Duran lost in order for them all to be saved.

“We will meet the delegates of Duran first before performing the spell.” Harrow told her. He gazed down at the memento the queens have given him to deliver to their daughter. “We need to pay respects.”

“I agree. If it wasn’t for them buying us some time, we wouldn’t have made it.” Sarai was also thinking about little Aanya. She couldn’t imagine how Aanya would grow up now, without the love of her mothers.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the doors.

“King Harrow! Queen Sarai!” the guard called. Harrow went to open the doors. The guard was huffing, as if he had run all the way to their chambers.

“What is it?” Harrow asked. The guard gave them a frantic look.

“Prince Callum is not in his bed, Your Highnesses!” the guard informed them. Sarai and Harrow immediately went to follow the guard.

“Where could he be? He usually doesn’t wake this soon after sunrise.” Sarai carried Ezran with her, clutching him close, as if afraid some unseen force would take him as well.

“Don’t worry, Sarai. We’ll find him.” Harrow reassured her. He gave a determined look at the guard. “Search everywhere! If he was taken, they couldn’t have gone far.”

Soon Amaya was called to join in the search, as well as some other soldiers. The more time passed, the more they worried something could’ve happened to Callum. It isn’t like him to leave his room and not come to the royal bedchambers if he had woken early.

Passing through a hallway, Amaya noticed some stuffed animals on the floor. She recognized them as Callum’s immediately. Curious, she followed the trail of more stuffed toys before she arrived at a bedroom door.

Amaya gently opened the door, peaking inside, her eyes critically taking in the surroundings before landing on the large bed in the middle of the room, the gentle glow of the morning sun shining on the occupants in the bed. The sight that greeted her made her eyes soften. She waved to a guard passing by to get the king and queen. Soon, her sister and her husband were rushing down the hall.

“Is he hurt?” Sarai fretted. Amaya smirked.

It seems your boy is getting his flirting started early. Amaya said. She held open the door. Look inside.

Sarai, Harrow, and a few guards peaked in, and sure enough, Callum was safe and sound, and he was cuddling the elf girl to him in his slumber. The elf girl allowed Callum to snuggle her, clutching his stuffed dragon Sarai had given him close. Everyone felt their hearts warm at the scene.

“We were so concerned with giving the elf privacy we didn’t think to check here at all.” Harrow whispered. Sarai gave him a smile.

“We certainly are silly.” Sarai agreed. She, Harrow, and Amaya made their way into the room, dismissing the guards. Sarai went towards Callum, caressing his cheek. “Callum, sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.”

“’m comfy…” Callum groggily protested, bringing the elf girl closer. Harrow, Sarai, and Amaya had to contain their giggles. However, it was Ezran who decided there was enough quiet.

Baby Ezran gave a loud shout, wanting to join his brother on the bed, and Callum and the elf girl sprung up, disoriented and startled. Callum wouldn’t let go of the elf girl, trying to protect her, before he realized it was just his family. Sighing in relief, he eased his grip off of the elf girl and smiled sleepily.

“Hi mom!” Callum yawned. He then became more aware and gave them a quizzical look. “Did something happen? Why is everyone here?”

Ezran, seeing his big brother awake, held out his arms from Sarai’s hold to indicate he wanted to be with him. Sarai gave both her boys a fond smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie. We just didn’t know where you were.” Sarai reassured him.

“Oh, I was with Moonlily!” Callum simply said, standing on the bed and going to give Ezran a kiss. The three adults were confused.

“Moonlily?” Harrow parroted.

“Yeah! We don’t know her name yet and she reminds me of those pretty flowers I saw in a book about Xadia once, so I am going to call her my Moonlily!” Callum told them happily, gesturing to the elf who was watching them warily from the bed. He turned back to the elf, grasping her hands, pulling her to stand on the bed too. “Moonlily! Come here!”

“Boy works fast.” Harrow teased Sarai, who rolled her eyes, but she was also smiling.

As for the elf, she eyed them with distrust, which Callum noticed, and he rushed to soothe her.

“No hurt you!” Callum told the elf. The elf girl gave him a skeptical look.

“No… hurt.” She said, doubtful. Callum turned to the adults.

“I think she thinks we’re going to hurt her. I found her crying last night and she seemed really sad.” Callum frowned at them. “We’re not going to, right?” he began to panic, thinking he put his Moonlily in danger.

“No, sweetheart! Of course not.” Sarai immediately reassured Callum.

“She’s our guest here, Callum. No harm will come to her as long as I am king.” Harrow promised. Callum sighed in relief.

“That’s good. I don’t know how to tell her she’s safe.” Callum appeared sad. “It hurts when she cries.”

Harrow, Amaya, and Saria exchanged looks before glancing towards the elf who was watching them with suspicion. Sarai put Ezran down on the bed, and the elf watched fascinated at the baby human boy crawling to her. She knelt down on the covers, reaching out a hand shyly.

Ezran didn’t waste time and clutched some of her small fingers with his even smaller ones. He giggled happily at the feel of her skin, and the elf couldn’t help but smile nervously.

“Vedui' ai Edan” the elf said. Sarai couldn’t help but give a smile at the wonderful scene.

“Little one,” Sarai called, making the elf glance at her. “We won’t hurt you. Please don’t be afraid.” She reached a hand out and ruffled Ezran’s hair, who gave a shout of delight.

The elf examined her critically, and the three adults made sure to appear non-threatening as possible. The elf chanced a look at Callum and Ezran again, appearing pensive about whether or not to trust them.

-----------------

Rayla observed the adults in the room, weighing their words—or the ones she did know—in her head. It appeared they too, were not trying to hurt her.

If they meant her no harm, then why did they take her from Xadia? Rayla was frustrated. She wanted answers, but it was clear with the language barrier she wasn’t going to get them.

It was clear to her they were in Xadia now to get a magma titan’s heart, but for what? And why? If she knew these things, she could find it easier to determine motives, to judge for herself if she was truly out of harm’s way or not.

Rayla couldn’t help but chance a look at the human boy and his baby brother. They gave her happy smiles in return. The boy really didn’t think his family was going to hurt her.

For now, she would have to believe in him.

She turned to the three adults watching her curiously, and got up, picking up the baby human and handing him to her kidnapper.

“No hurt?” Rayla checked again, looking for any deception.

“No, little one.” The woman said, smiling gently, taking the baby into her arms. “No hurt.”

Rayla sighed in relief, nearly collapsing on the bed. It wasn’t all the answers or everything she needed to know, but it was knowledge that was comforting all the same.

For Rayla, that was all that mattered for now.  

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There’s chapter 4! I hope people enjoyed the Callum and Rayla interactions!

Translations:

Amin aran = My king

Vedui' ai Edan = greetings small human

[chloe-clegane]

My Devotion and Mah Protection, Our Love - Chapter 5

My Favorite Gift is You

Summary - It’s Royal Announcement day!

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

AO3

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A few days later they celebrated Ezran’s birthday. The desserts flowed freely, in fact, there were no other meals, just dessert. The whole eating unwholesome foods in extreme portion sizes was no joke. Contributing to the overload of sweets made Rayla feel a bit… unethical? Enabling? Disgusted? Her own misgivings aside she knew Ezran would appreciate her idea for an Ultimate Deluxe Super Moonberry Surprise Cake, it would be the perfect gift… if she could pull it off.  

Rayla woke up early that morning and after some kissing and cuddling with her favorite human, she met with Barius. She explained her vision and the baker was a little distressed when he realized she didn’t have an actual recipe. But he was able to approximate what she described. Barius insisted that he should make the sponge. But figured she would be able to execute the filling and frosting easily enough. She figured it couldn’t be that hard so she followed instructions and got to work.

Most of Ezran’s day was spent with Zym, he’d flown to Katolis with an escort of three skywing dragon guards. He was only able to stay for 2 days so he and Ez were getting in as much quality time as possible. When Rayla left the kitchens to go find her family, she was shocked to see Ezran riding Zym. The dragon had grown considerably in the almost 3 years since he’d hatched and was bigger than a horse now, but Rayla still couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The two kings zipped around the castle towers and through the clouds, Ez whooping and Zym happily chirping. 

Rayla came up behind Callum and took his hand, he turned his attention from the sky to smile at her. She gazed up with him “Been quite a’while hasn’t it, since all this started. Funny how they’ve both grown up so much but still somehow managed to stay exactly the same. A couple o’goof balls.” 

Callum chuckled “Yeah, it’s true.” He smiled and brought her hand up to place a kiss on it. “The world has changed so much, but somethings, the people you love, they stay the same. Like how amazing you are for example.”  

As always his words warmed Rayla’s heart but when he leaned in to kiss her she wiped her head back up to the sky when she saw the aerial duo heading into a tower, grazing it and thankfully not smacking into it full force. “Oye!!! EZ!!! TOWER!!!!” Rayla screamed up at the teen.

“WE’RE OK!” He yelled down and waved, Zym nodded in agreement. 

“DON’T BREAK YOUR NECK! I WILL BE SO PISSED!” Callum screamed back. Some of the color drained from his face. “PAY BETTER ATTENTION!” He looked like he was ready to go all mage wings and bring his brother down himself.

Amaya also looked distressed. Frustrated she wasn’t able to scream after him she nudged Janai to make girlfriend do it for her. Even Bait had turned purple. 

“Teenagers are stupid” Rayla sighed. 

“Hey, we weren't... technically still aren’t” Callum defended. 

“Seriously? We’re just lucky our bullshit paid off” She laughed “I climbed the side of that” She pointed “wall. Thinkin’ I could kill a child in cold blood, almost fell to mah death about three times doin’ it. And you kept playin’ with lightnin’ even though you din’ know what you were doin’, nearly killed me I might add!” 

He chucked “But I didn’t kill you! So it’s fine.”

“Oh you’re right, that makes everythin’ fine. Wasn’t stupid at all.”  

He pouted at her sarcasm but then narrowed his eyes at her “Human Rayla”.

“Don’ go there! I was amazin’ at that! How about Elf Callum or WiNtEr LoDgE, nO wInTeR, nO hUmAnS?”

“Owch” he glared “you've made your point and we should definitely stop this there. I still want you to marry me and I worry this conversation won’t end well.” 

She laughed “Aww you’re less stupid now” she cood and he continued to glare back at her. But held her hand anyway. She squeezed it “Like I said, lucky. Our stupidity might save the world.” 

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and they continued to nervously watch the air show, screaming every time the teens tried to do barrel rolls and loops. The March day was cooled by the breeze but warmed by the sun, winter was truly at its end and the group enjoyed welcoming the spring.

Soon it was 3rd dessert meal (second lunch?) and the group had it out in one of the courtyards as a picnic. This was the planned time for presents and so everyone had their wrapped packages or hidden gifts with them. Apparently, hand made was a theme. After all, what do you buy for a king? Amaya and Janai were the only ones who didn’t make their gift. It was a sunforged dagger. His aunt felt at 13, it was about time he had his own weapon. Ezran looked a little intimidated by it but thanked them nonetheless.  

Soren went second, his surprise was a shockingly not terrible ceramic statue of Ez and Zym hugging. The sculpture wasn’t good, but you could tell who the figures were supposed to be so Rayla felt that the dumb oaf had at least accomplished the goal. Ezran was a little confused but when he figured it out he seemed to really enjoy it. Bait was entirely unimpressed by it, and maybe a little jealous it wasn’t him made in clay. 

Callum was also miffed that Soren had made an art project, he muttered into her ear “art is my thing!” She laughed and rolled her eye’s at him. Her fiance’s gift was of extremely better quality, so if it was a competition he still won, but if cake counts as art Rayla thought this could be a very close race. Callum had done a detailed color pencil drawing and had it framed, it was a family portrait. Ezran sat in the front and Rayla and Callum stood behind him, each with a hand on his shoulder and Bait was in his lap of course. This art piece was much better received by the glowtoad than Soren’s. 

Ethari had made a simple bracelet of silver and purple braids. It was the kind of thing Rayla knew he could make easily and quickly with tools he probably borrowed. It was modest but as always the workmanship was impeccable. Ezran thought it was amazing. 

Finally, it was her turn, she rolled the huge cake around the corner on a tea cart. 

Ezran gasped. “Rayla it looks delicious! Give it, give it!” He reached out scrunching his fists. 

She laughed as she cut him a generous piece. The purple sponge and gooey red filling looked great! She felt a little smug as she handed Ez the slice. He took a huge bite and his face scrunched, he coughed a little. Rayla felt her face fall, why did he look like that, she wondered. Then Ezran smiled and kept nodding. “Wow Rayla, it’s so… thoughtful of you to make this, wow!” 

“Do you like it!?” she asked cautiously. 

“Mmmmhmmmm” he continued to nod. 

Everyone else cautiously sampled it, everyone started gagging. 

Soren hadn’t caught on to everyone's hesitancy and took a large bite, his response felt overly dramatic “Ugh blah” He spit it directly on the ground. “That’s terrible. hack hack. I think it’s poison! I’m too young to die!”     

Rayla looked hurt but then crossed her arms and scowled at her friend “Wow Soren you’re sure bein’ an arse about this. I go to all this trouble, and you can’t even be nice? It can’t be that bad.” Now she stupidly took a huge bite and was immediately filled with regret, “so salty! Egh, what did I? Water!?”. She realized Ethari had never even taken a bite of his piece, his lack of faith was added salt in the salty, salty wound. 

“Rayla, it’s ok. I really appreciate it!” Ezran tried to comfort her but she had already stormed away red faced and humiliated. 

Ezran found Rayla outside “That squirrel was right, you are in a tree!”.

She and her bruised ego were hiding. When she saw him she turned away “just leave me with mah shame!” 

He started climbing, it took him a minute but he made it up and nudged her so he could sit next to her. Luckily it was an old sturdy tree. “I meant it when I told you I appreciated the effort.” 

Rayla made a noise somewhere between a whine and a chuckle and tossed her head back “Thanks, but also I’m still sooooooo sorry”  

“Seriously Rayla.” He insisted. “But you know what my real favorite present is?” 

She still had her eyes up and her shoulders slumped “Hmmmm Soren’s statue was pretty good... very lifelike” her words were heavily laced with sarcasm. 

“You know? I do like it” he smiled “Soren put a lot of effort into it, same as you. Want to guess again?!”

She took a moment to think “Well I know it wasn’t the fire dagger, I’m pretty sure yer afraid of it.”

He laughed “yeah, you got me there. But really, my favorite gift, is’s you Rayla.”

This time she actually righted her posture and made eye contact. “Me? What do you mean, me?” She was honestly confused.

“Yeah, you. When you guys came and told me you're getting married, it was such a good surprise. My favorite thing out of all of this is knowing in a few months you’ll really be my sister.” she felt her prickly mood soften as he continued “In a way, I’ve already thought of you like that for a long time. But now, it’s real and official! Best birthday ever!” His sincerity, something she’s always loved about him, was acting as a salve on her wounded pride. 

“Oh, Ez” Rayla smiled, his sentiment was humbling and she exhaled some of her negativity “I feel the same way about you, I’m happy to have you as a brother too. Now come’ere.” She pulled him into a hug and they stayed together for a while kicking their tangling feet and talking. Catching up about all kinds of things. He told her weird stuff animals say sometimes and that he met their shadowpaws. Apparently they’re both very nice but don’t think they’re getting nearly enough fish. Rayla made a mental note. He also confided in her some of his worries. There had been rumors about underground meetings to talk about hating and not trusting elves. Now that ambassadors and scholars have started visiting Katolis, and now… her, not everyone is happy about it. Rayla thought about keeping the procession incident to herself but decided to fess up about it. He understood why she didn’t want to worry anyone but they both ended up going quiet for a bit to sit in their worry. It always broke Rayla’s heart to see these things on his shoulders, he was too young to carry so many burdens like this. So she broke the tension with a few jokes and they hugged before returning to the group for 5th dessert (dinner?). 

After a few more days in Katolis it was time for everyone to part ways. It was decided that the Wedding would be in 3 months, as they wanted at the Moon Nexus. With the mages disappearing suspiciously and Aaravos and Viren’s location unknown, they had to be careful about having politically important guests all in one place. The exact date and location would be kept private and invitations would be hand-delivered along with illusion medallions to the human rulers. Lujanna would be assisted in creating a burrier hiding the Nexu, similar to the one that protects the Silvergrove. 

The public announcements of the marriage would be made when things were settled. After that Rayla would be made an official Princess of Katolis. That scared her, absolutely boggled her mind. Never in her life had she thought things would turn out like this for her. The most terrifying part was the fact that until Ezran had his own heir, which at 13 was a long way off, Callum would be next in line for the throne, which would make her a queen. That thought was horrendous for a number of reasons. But for every negative or worry Rayla’s joy and excitement was tenfold. 

Ethari went home to the Silvergrove and Rayla and Callum left for Lux Auria with Amaya and Janai. Callum worked on his fire spells and she helped investigate the 3 Sunfire elf mages who had disappeared. She traveled alone a few times to the Silvergrove to visit Ethari, flying on a twin tail tooth tiger, courtesy of Janai, made the trips easy. The more things came together, the details, her vows, the dress, everything felt more and more real. Soon she’d be bound forever to her best friend, and it was the most spectacular thing she could imagine. She was counting down the days, they both were.

[poems-and-pillows-and-puppies]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 2- Scabbard

Hello there! This is chapter 2 of the Pirate!AU inspired fanfic. The original AU’s mastermind is @thenerdyalchemist​. I hope you enjoy! Here’s the link to the Ao3 chapter- https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967113/chapters/54936304 

Rayla was falling. Falling, like a feather from the seagulls she loved to watch so intently with her parents. Deep, in the cold darkness of forceful rest. Her hands felt feather light, her eyes felt like lead. She knew she had to reach her fathers, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t touch, couldn’t reach- She could see nothing, but she could see everything. She could see her Papa, unconscious on the floor, and her Dad, pacing back and forth in a frenzy. She could see the looks of horror in the eyes of some of the men that had hurt her Papa, hurt her Dad, made her cry. She couldn’t help but forgive them. She was sure that this was all an accident. That they meant to snatch another girl. But the hooded guy’s words echoed in her subconscious. They said they wanted her, and it made her feel… terrified? Sad? She didn’t know, just like how she didn’t know how to comfort Dad when he was sad and sniffly and all messy. Just like she wanted to know then, she wanted to know now, how to hold her Daddy’s hand and tell him that everything was alright, that their little girl was safe and sound… But no matter how hard she tried, her mouth would not open and her vocal chords refused to play a single note. She wanted to laugh, to cry, to understand why her Papa was running away, hiding in the bustling crowd, from Dad. Why her Dad and her Papa were crying, alone in the masses, separated from each other even as they mourned in tandem for her fate. She wanted to feel the rough calluses of the crewmates again, the soft feathers of the seagull that always followed her around. She wanted to taste the briney spray from the sea that she refuses to dive into, the cold treats that she and Papa loved to seek out from their nomadic adventures through the local markets. But, even as she drowned in air, hair whipping around her face like the sail in a powerful storm, she wanted OUT. She wanted to be released from this prison, the shackles of sleep that bound her to her unconscious. She tugged at the chains, feeling hysteria clawing its way up her throat. With one final sigh, she stopped resisting the flow of time and allowed herself to fall down, down, down….

A shiver snapped her back into the physical word, and each waft of cold air brought her closer to full consciousness. ‘Where.. am I?’ She opened her eyes, trying- and failing- to blink out the film that covered her violet eyes. She felt cold bars around her, and she shifted slightly in order to stop the rusty metal bars of her cage from digging into her thighs. The rope binding around her wrists chafed her flesh slightly, and she winced from the friction. The sound of mature voices, both male and female, caught her attention. “The girl is only 10! You can’t possibly…”

“We must...Pirate..”

“Your Majesty…. Hasn’t been trained..”

Rayla strained to hear what they were saying. ‘Their accents are so different compared to Dad and Papa’s…Am I still in Alorminia?’

“The girl couldn’t possibly become the next Pirate King!”

Oh, their voices were getting louder.

“Yes, she can. Any pirate could become the next Pirate King!”

That man.. His voice sounds familiar, but she couldn’t quite place from where.

“Normis.”

“The Pirate King’s partner was no better. He flashed his weaselly eyes at me when I was spying on them!”

Oh, now she knew. ‘That roundish merchant was a spy? I didn’t think about his behavior that deeply.. No wonder Papa and Dad had been able to stay safe for so long! But then..’ She frowned. ‘Then I came along. They had to worry about me. That’s why Papa got hurt in the first place.’ She bowed her head from the uncomfortable position she was in. ‘It was my fault that this all happened. He was hurt, and it was all my fault. All my fault… All my fault.’ The thoughts rattled in her mind, destroying all of her other thoughts. ‘It was my fault, wasn’t it? If I hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have had to defend me. It was all my fault.’ Her eyes began to itch, and she struggled to wipe them without creating any noises that would alert them to her consciousness. She heard a clatter, and her heart dropped in tandem with the spike of fear that impaled it. The dreadlocked man, the one they kept calling ‘King Harrow’, had stood up from his ornately-decorated chair. His forehead flashed with sweat, and beads of the fluid had traveled down the man’s chiseled face, much to the confusion of the young girl. ‘It’s cold in here. Why is the man sweating?’ He cleared his throat, a deep “ahem” rumbling through the air like the panther’s growl. The entire room went silent. “We must not think too hastily. We must not execute the girl. She is too young for us to determine what she will be like as she grows up.” His baritone voice was deep and strange, but it comforted Rayla like a rough-shod fiber blanket on a cold and starry night. She relaxed, her shoulders drooping ever so slightly. ‘I don’t know what ‘eggs-e-cute’ means, but it sounded bad. Or maybe..’ She tilted her head, confused. ‘Cute eggs? I’ve heard someone call me that. Are they.. complimenting me?’ Perplexed by this turn of events, she chose to stay silent instead of voicing her confusion out loud, an action that would most definitely speed the debate up. “My lord!” A woman shot out of her seat like one of Runaan’s cannonballs. “What would decide to do instead? Keep her within these castle walls to spy on us? We cannot trust-” King Harrow held up a gold-encrusted hand, and she halted her barrage. “Opeli.” The lady, newly dubbed ‘Opeli’, shifted at the mention of her name. “We will not let her stay in the guest chambers.” Opeli’s tense position softened, and she began to take her chair once more. “But.” She stopped moving as if she had been frozen in time. “We will not execute her until a final decision is made. Take her to the jail cells.” 

“M-my lord! I-”

“Opeli!” The firmness made clear in his tone made everyone in the room flinch, including Rayla. “Do your duty and take her to the jails. She must not be interrogated until a final order is made. Have I made myself clear?” King Harrow looked upon her in annoyance. Opeli curstied hastily and squeaked out a feeble “Yes, my lord.” She turned toward Rayla’s cage. Rayla’s eyes widened in fear. ‘What are they doing to me?’ Opeli kneeled down to open the cage and was met with a small growl, not unlike a young guard dog. She recoiled slightly, then bent down to see the young girl baring her teeth toward her like an enraged hunting dog. “Your Majesty. The girl is awake.” Murmurs of shock and worry reverberated around the room. “How will we transport the girl there?” A voice pierced the tense atmosphere. King Harrow frowned. “Try to take her out. If she struggles, keep her in the cage.” Rayla shuddered. She did not like the cage. It felt so alien, so different from the open seas and decks that she loved to roam. Opeli kneeled down and ruffled around in her robes. After a few moments of searching, she pulled out a small copper key with a quiet “Aha!” She gently inserted the key into the lock that kept the cage’s door shut and began to turn it in different directions. A soft click signalled that her efforts were not in vain. She slowly opened up the cage door. Rayla cowered in the very corner of the small enclosure, terrified of the woman who was now reaching into her space. Opeli noticed her apprehension and drew back, worried. Rayla uncurled herself to take a better look at her. Her long, flowing hair was touching the ground, cleaning the smooth stone floor of the throne room. It framed her oval face like curtains, reminding Rayla of the caramel-colored curtains that Ethari had bought for the couple’s 5 year anniversary. She smiled, no longer the scary woman that had been arguing with the king not long ago. She extended her hand out tentatively, and the woman’s much larger, rougher hand tenderly clasped it. “Hey, there.” Her melodic voice calmed Rayla down a little, quelling her fears temporarily. She took a deep, calming breath. ‘Maybe… everything will be fine.’

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Everything was most definitely NOT FINE. Rayla whimpered underneath the board that doubled as her bed. ‘I don’t like this.. I don’t… don’t…I want Papa...Dad..’ Tears brewed in her eyes, and she let them fall, crystalline droplets twinkling like diamonds in the night-time. “I want to go home…” She curled up into a ball, wishing with all her heart to be back in her parents’ arms, to be back on the ship, frolicking with the crewmates… anything but this. The cold stone sucked away her heat, her love, her happiness… She weeped, letting her sniffles echo into the unyielding stone walls. Her dad was always holding back his emotions, but she wasn’t him, and she let the tears flow like twin rivers, moistening her bluish tattoos. The sound of sniffling echoed back to her, but it sounded… different. Soft footsteps padded on the stone-covered ground, and she shot up, ears perking up ever-so-slightly. ‘Dad? Papa?’ The sniffles continued, and Rayla realized that there was no way it could be her parents. She sighed and fell to the floor, tears continuing to flow freely down her face. She turned her head and gasped silently at who it was. It was a small boy, younger than her for sure, toting a small satchel-sketchbook and a long, winding scarf that trailed down every stair he had previously stepped on like a bridal trail. The boy himself looked no better than her, nose red and yellow in the torchlight, eyes puffy and swollen. He hiccuped, a pathetic noise that would’ve driven her to comfort him, if she wasn’t trapped in a cell. With a jolt, she realized that there were no guards accompanying him. ‘If he hadn’t done something wrong, like me, then why is he here?’ She watched, confused, as the boy plodded over to a nearby jail-bench. He unwound his scarf and turned to the side, revealing his rounded ears. He disappeared into the shadows of an adjacent cell, leaving Rayla to wonder what the boy was doing. A few minutes passed, then she heard a quiet ‘twang’ sound from within. The boy walked out, holding a wooden instrument that Rayla couldn’t recognize. ‘What is he doing?’ He began to pluck it, turning one of the four pegs in tandem. Once he had finished playing that peculiar tune, he reached into the darkness and pulled out a… long… stick? Rayla, at the expense of being redundant, asked herself, ‘Just WHAT is he DOING?’ He placed the stick straight in the middle over the instrument and took a deep breath. And, in the next breath he took, took her breath away. As his stick moved, his fingers danced upon the instrument. The indescribable melody took Rayla on an adventure. She felt the rush of wind and the feeling of leather upon her skin, of crows and green pastures that she had never- and would never- see. She saw cattle grazing, people playing with fans and cherry blossoms in the chill of midwinter, feathers dancing around an awestruck crowd. She ran and laughed and twirled in the petals of the hyacinths, played with people who she had never seen before, flew- then it all stopped. The boy stood, sobbing for breath, as his last note pealed through the air. He stood, panting, as the notes died away and the echoes began to fade. He began to pack his instrument up. Rayla looked on in wonder. ‘That was.. a song?’ She felt her cheeks and they came back wet, even more soaked than before he had came down to serenade the empty walls. As the boy scaled the stairs, she began to wonder. ‘Who was this kid? Why did he come down just to play that for me?’

‘Did he know I was there?’

As the thoughts swirled and hatched in her mind, she closed her eyes, finally content with the heat of the stone below her. How it became that warm, she will never know. However, she knew that it must have had something to do with that boy. She faded into a dreamless sleep, her face finally peaceful in her slumber. Opeli smiled from her place at the scrying bowl. “Callum, what have you done?” She stood up. “I must go. The step-prince awaits.” Her boots clacked against the floor, and the scrying bowl was clear once more, the final wisps of bluish magic fading away from its rim. “And so does she.”

[hiccstrxd]

Kisses from the moon

Hello! I wanted to write shameless fluff with lots of kisses and this is exactly what it is. I’d like to believe that for a first timer in the kissing department, I did it okay lmao

It's rated t btw. You can find it in ao3 as well. Enjoy!

Summary: She didn’t know how it happened, the only thing she recalls is that they had meant to depart with one chaste kiss on the lips and somehow it had quickly escalated to unknown territory, though for sure not quite an unpleasant one.

It hasn’t been that long since the battle of the Storm Spire and relationships among the neighboring kingdoms couldn’t be any more restrained — the shifting alliances have been slightly worrisome but the newly pledge between the Dragon Queen and the young King of Katolis compensate all the arising uncertainties, if just a little.

Rayla doesn’t know that much about politics but she supposes that last bit gave enough solace to the kingdom. A bright occurrence amidst the cataclysmic disputes and deadly wars.

And since this was now her home away from home, she was very well informed — rather unwillingly — in its state of affairs.

Both Callum and Ezran (and Bait too, apparently) had firmly made her know that if she was one hundred percent sure and at ease with the idea overall, she was more than welcome to stay in Katolis, no matter if it was merely a temporary arrangement. It took quite a lot of arguments and counterarguments from both parties and even further persuasion from the two brothers (and frog) for her to concede to the proposition with an underlying hesitation.

She was fairly certain that her residency in the kingdom — and in the castle no less — will not be as gladly received. She’ll have to withstand many scornful looks and insensitive judgments left and right, her presence won’t do any good there. Plus, she would feel so out of place and a little bit too conscience-stricken for her liking. But then again she didn’t have anywhere else to go, nowhere to call home.

It was all very confusing and frustrating, rightfully so.

Later that night, with the moonlight casting shadows over the two lovers that were basking in the company of one another and with no impending death hanging in the air, a five-fingered hand was tenderly holding her four-fingered one, a warm smile on each of their faces. Lazy strokes were traced on her wrist, going up to her palm and finally detouring to each of her fingers, making careless doodles with the tip of his forefinger. She let out a sigh of contempt.

A murmured ‘I love you’ was softly said to the wind followed by an imaginary heart being drawn on her palm.

She looked over at him. His eyes had softened a great deal and he now sported the gentlest of grins, he redrew the heart for emphasis. Rayla intertwined their fingers together and gave his hand an affectionate squeeze.

She’ll never get tired of hearing it.

“I love you, too.”

And maybe that was the little push that she needed to make up her mind.

That’s how she got here. In Katolis, she meant. Definitely not with her back pressed slightly against the wall and a pair of gentle hands that held onto her with urgency, if just a little shyly.

She didn’t know how it happened, the only thing she recalls is that they had meant to depart with one chaste kiss on the lips and somehow it had quickly escalated to unknown territory, though for sure not quite an unpleasant one.

They were both expected somewhere else, the kiss was just a farewell gesture, something to get them through the day until they could be close with each other again — which was most likely to be late at night or early morning for how tight their schedule was today.

Rayla needs to break it off. They need to get going. She doesn’t.

She felt his hands that were once placed safely on her waist, slowly trail down to rest on her hips with a lose grip. Hers started their journey upwards, tracing his neck with feather-light touches to finally cup each side of his jaw. Their lips moved against one another at a deliberately slow pace, their noses brushing every so often with each gentle pull.

They have kissed before, of course, but nothing like this.

A loving peck on the lips, a quick kiss on the forehead, even a small brush of lips against each knuckle. They had definitely had some kisses that had lasted more than they should have but even those seemed to be cut short. No, this is new.

The gap between them came to be nonexistent, their breaths mingling together in their shared space. She felt warmth blossom in her chest as he pulled her even closer, his thumb slowly drawing small circles on her hip and when she felt him smile against her lips she couldn’t help but let a small smile out too.

Kissing him has always felt quite exhilarating, a rush of feeling that made her heart soar and her mind numb. A tingling sensation that extended from the tip of her fingers up to her very lips, a warmth that consumed her and spread like a wildfire within. Rayla has never kissed anyone before — she hadn’t felt the need to, having little interest in that sort of matter before— but she had seen Runaan and Ethari display little shows of affections every so often, and as a kid, her inherent curiosity had led her to wonder how loving someone felt like.

Ethari had said that it was like holding your whole heart in between your hands, so delicate and precious that the rest of the world blurs and fades away having no point of comparison with its beauty. Runaan, ever the pragmatic, said that it was a matter of sentiment — you feel everything more intensely.

She reckons that both are quite true, to some extent. Though, she might add her own contribution to the mix: it felt like a typhoon of emotions all at once; you feel weak yet strong, confused yet never more certain in your life, vulnerable yet empowered. It’s warm-hearted, a tender gesture. But then again, it’s something that she cannot fully put into words because the concept is so abstract and the action is so blissful that no notion will ever do justice to what she feels.

Soft kisses soon became frenzied presses of lips and their hands seemed to have a mind of their own, moving on their own accord and trying to frantically touch every patch of skin, clinging to the fabric of clothes in an attempt to be closer. His breath faintly tickled the skin beneath her nose, their heartbeats rhythmically pounding against their chests, and the almost inaudible sighs of delight, whenever their lips brushed against each other, was all she could hear in the secluded corner of the castle. Her senses were overflowed with his presence.

She couldn’t help the soft gasp she let out when he gently bit her bottom lip and pulled it in between his own. It was definitely something they haven’t done before and the action's intimacy promptly took her off guard.

And then he was frantically pulling away, eyes wide with horror and with eyebrows that seemed to reach his hairline, his lips the tiniest bit swollen from their whole encounter. His hands were still on her hips but if he was desperately trying to bring her forward before, he was now doing his best to hold her at arm’s length.

He was quite a sight and she would find it in herself to poke fun at his ridiculous countenance if she didn’t think he was on the verge of a mental collapse.

“I-I’m so sorry, that was not— and I just— I got carried away... Not that that excuses it! I — oh Gods,” Callum stumbled over his words, hand clasped over his eyes, and shifting uneasily on both feet. Rayla had trouble deciphering the inarticulate unfinished sentences that were being stuttered past his mouth but his body language could clue her in.

She raised a single eyebrow whilst fighting an amusing smile from breaking out.

With tentative fingers, she reached forward to lace their fingers together with the hand that was covering his face, his momentary flinch didn’t go unnoticed as she did so.

“Hey,” she softly said with a small smile on her face because leave it to him to straight-up freak out during one of the most intoxicating kisses they have shared so far in their relatively new courtship. She gently rubbed her thumb on the side of his hand as a silent way to reassure him that it was all good. He visibly relaxed a tiny bit, though still showing a little apprehension for his actions done in the spur of the moment. “I liked it.” She shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes and she wanted to smack herself for the uncharacteristic demeanor.

She felt a coy smirk tug at the corners of her mouth, “I really liked it.” Rayla relished the way his face went from rueful to downright embarrassed, a deep flush spreading all over his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. She couldn’t stop the heartening laugh this time.

“O-oh?” She heard him mumble. He rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that was not holding hers, and she playfully rolled her eyes at her dorky human prince’s antics.

“In fact, I wouldn’t mind tryin’ it out again.” She said while mindlessly arranging the scarf on his neck that has become rumpled by her own doing. She looked at him solemnly, this being a little unfamiliar to both of them and the uncertainty of how to approach was slowly killing her. With a clear of his throat and his forest green eyes thoroughly searching hers to silently confirm what she had put into words, he shifted forward.

“Well, in that case,” He brought one hand to pull her closer while he raised the other one to caress her cheek lovingly. His eyes stared earnestly at her as if he could find all the wonders in the world by solely looking at her. It was wistful thinking, but she’d rather not dwell into that right now. Not when the only thing that matters was the blitheness from her heart and the prince that was the cause of it all.

He drew her toward him as the space between them once again diminished and with half-closed eyes, slightly pursed lips, and with the erratic thumps of the heart filling the air, they slowly leaned in again.

He nudged his nose against hers and placed a small kiss in the corner of her lips. Callum smiled, he went to do the same on the other side but she’d have none of it. She looped her forearms loosely at the back of his neck and lunged forward — she took delight in the muffled hum of surprise.

Their lips glided lazily but surely against each other, and this time — with the self-consciousness fading away and the overwhelming feelings of adoration rising in its place — the kiss quickly took a passionate turn. Fervent lips searched hers and she returned the gesture in equal measure.

When they came to this corner almost hidden from any prying eyes to share a light kiss, one which swiftly became so much more, Rayla had been concerned they would get caught. They never seemed to get any privacy in the heavily guarded walls of the castle and sneaking around resulted in their last resort, something that both thrilled her and troubled her; there was always a crown guard just around the corner, a handmaid that not so subtly eyed them from afar, or worse, the High Cleric that without fail appeared around inopportune instances.

The number of times she had wished the earth to open up and swallow her whole were unimaginable.

But now, as she now pulled his bottom lip in between her own, that thought was dismayed and stored in the back of her mind because kissing Callum made all of those seem as insignificant worries as every kiss felt like the very first one — she was sure there wasn’t a greater feeling than being in his arms. She could stay here forever.

That was until a nervous cough could be heard behind them, a few paces away from the darkened corner. They jumped apart.

“Prince Callum,” Corvus gave a slight bow, eyes not quite looking directly at the couple, “your presence is required in the throne room.” He cleared his throat, posture uptight as always but shifting from one leg to another rather uneasily.

Oh, sweet primals.

Rayla could already feel the burning sensation on her face and ears and quickly disentangled herself from his embrace in an attempt to put some proper distance between them. He was not expecting her briskly move and promptly stumbled over his own two feet, arms flailing to catch his balance before he fell somewhat unceremoniously on the ground below.

“Corvus, hi! Yeah, I was just on my way. I was just telling Rayla about the... uh,” He trailed off, unsure of what to say that would be credible enough to somehow cover up their real deed. Rayla was sure she was just about to die from embarrassment.

Corvus placed both his arms behind himself and with a deadpan expression affirmed, “I assure you, your highness, I do not need an explanation. It is all good. Nevertheless, let’s not keep the High Council and the King waiting, shall we?” Rayla could have guaranteed the corners of his mouth lifted in the slightest — almost imperceptible — in what she could only assume was amusement. “And Rayla, Soren is waiting in the courtyard for your daily training session.”

With that last bit, she nodded in acknowledgment and went straight to where she was initially supposed to be nearly fifteen minutes ago. And she almost gave Soren the triumph of his life since the only thing on her mind was how much she had enjoyed their little rendezvous and the excitement of its reprise was as annoying as it was enthralling.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Notes from the Deluxe Elf Interview, pt 5 (HBMP podcast)

I like to process important stuff more thoroughly to help me retain it, so I take notes when I listen to shows and podcasts and stuff. And the best episode of Hot Brown Morning Potion Podcast just came out–the Deluxe Elf Interview with Devon Giehl and Iain Hendry–so you know I was all over that. This is just my personal notes, nothing super detailed or organized, and not delved into yet at all.

If I have a direct quote, it’s in double quotes. Sometimes my notes are paraphrasing or getting only most of the words, and sometimes it’s just me rambling, but if I “quote” something, it’s a proper direct quote that I went back and listened to. Also, sometimes I noted who was talking, just because I loved how they played off each other and offered different perspectives. I is for Iain and D is for Devon.

________

How would Ethari and Runaan react to learning that Rayla’s dating Callum? Ethari picked up on Callum being important, but not necessarily romantically so. Devon thinks Ethari saying “Take care of her” to Callum as they left the Silvergrove shoulda been canon.

I: it would be best for everyone if Ethari and Runaan found out they were dating when together at the same time bc Runaan’s impulse will not be good. He’s trained to think of humans not as people but the enemy. He turns that mentality on to do the job but it’ll bleed into his personality too. And considering his most recent experience he will have an immediate negative reaction that would not be pleasant for Callum and Rayla, but Ethari has a much softer heart, and that’s where Rayla got that side of her from. Elves have heard that “humans committed the original sin of dark magic”, but Ethari wouldn’t need to watch Rayllum for long before he realized they had something special. “Ethari would have the ability to talk Runaan down pretty quick.” Runaan might not show his disapproval though, it could be a seething resentment he’s not really talking about. But Ethari would sense that Runaan was not taking this well and they would be able to talk it through.

D: “Ethari and Callum would get along really well because they both have a soft-hearted friendliness to them. They would have a fun rapport… Crack some goofy back-and-forths, and I think that would soften Runaan too, because he could never hate someone that Ethari liked.”

I: “Callum’s the one doing the dad jokes and Ethari’s the one humoring him, and Runaan’s like, ‘I don’t understand, trees do not meet.’”

Check out the podcast, guys!

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Total Eclipse of the Heart

For Ruthari Week 2020

AU: Canon

Pairings: Runaan x Ethari

Rating: Gen

Archive warnings: None

Prompt #6: Light/Shadow

“Runaan, you can’t be serious.” Ethari’s spoon hovered in midair. “Things are bad enough—”

“They are,” Runaan agreed. “And this will fix them.” He spread jam across his breakfast roll and took a bite.

Ethari stared at him for a long moment, taking in his apparent contentment with his decision. “You’re serious. You already told her yes.”

“Mmhm.”

“Without discussing it with me.” Ethari’s voice was flat.

That caught Runaan’s attention. He stopped chewing and looked up, eyes soft. After a moment of contemplation, he tongued his food aside and said around it, “It’s an assassin matter, Ethari. I didn’t feel the need to consult you.”

The spoon returned to Ethari’s porridge bowl with more force than was necessary. “It’s a Rayla matter, Runaan. You’re not the only one looking after her. We should have talked about this before you agreed—”

“I’m barely looking after her at all, Ethari. You talk to her teachers. You help her make her favorite clothes. You cook all her favorite foods. What do I do for her?”

Ethari softened and reached across the nook table. “Runaan, you do plenty. You’ve taught her everything she knows about tracking, defense, fighting... Even Tiadrin’s favorite moves. And she loves you for that. I know she does.”

“Don’t speak her name in this house, Ethari.” Runaan’s eyes flared with warning ice.

Ethari froze with a pang in his heart as Runaan called him out for speaking of the ghosted. How could he just turn off his feelings for one of his best friends like that? “I… I’m sorry. It’s just so new, and it still hurts…”

Runaan picked sesame seeds off his roll with idle fingers, not looking up at Ethari anymore. “The Moon moves forward, Ethari. So must we. We’ve been over this.”

“I can’t move forward like you do, Runaan. You go too fast for me.”

Runaan’s brows drew together for a moment and his hands stilled. “We need to step together on this, Ethari. For Rayla’s sake.”

A small exhalation of pain puffed past Ethari’s lips. “Runaan, I can’t. It hurts too much. Please. Please reconsider what you told Rayla. She’s not ready.”

Runaan sat across from him in perfect stillness. Ethari held his breath—he’d said something perfectly wrong, and now was no time to misstep. Not so soon after Lain and Tiadrin’s ghosting.

Finally, Runaan shifted into motion again. He abandoned his roll and his tea and stood from his chair. “I need to go in. They need to see me in control today.”

He started to walk away without his usual morning farewell. Without any offer to continue a difficult discussion later. Ethari’s heart shivered and squeezed. “Runaan, wait.” He rose and caught Runaan’s hand, lifting it to his lips for a firm kiss while holding Runaan’s gaze.

Those turquoise eyes were hard and guarded, but Runaan did pause and shift closer to Ethari. He leaned a wiry shoulder against Ethari’s thicker one for a warm moment and sighed. Only then did he say what Ethari needed to hear. “We will discuss this later.”

Runaan slipped away, leaving Ethari’s fingers cold.

 ***

 Evening came. Runaan and Rayla talked late into the night while Ethari fretted, pottering about in his workshop, flitting from one project to another, never completing anything. Finally, exhaustion began to set in, and he climbed the ladder to the rooms above and insisted that Rayla get some sleep.

Runaan joined him in their bedroom a few minutes later, and they tucked themselves into bed with hesitant movements. Ethari always hated this part of their discussions, this very first part where they hadn’t touched yet, when they each thought they were right. But he reached out his arms invitingly anyway, and Runaan relaxed atop his chest with his head on Ethari’s shoulder as easily as he always did, snuggling his fingertips beneath Ethari’s far shoulder.

Ethari let his fingers play idly with Runaan’s hair as they began to talk. Surely, surely, he could bring Runaan around. It was just a matter of being soft so Runaan could relax and think with his heart as well as his head.

“How was your day, my shade?” he began.

But Runaan shook his head against Ethari’s shoulder.

Ethari hugged him reassuringly. “They were watching too closely, weren’t they?”

“Always now. It’ll be like that for a while.”

“I’m sorry. How is Rayla?”

“Focused. I’ve never seen her like this.”

“What did you talk about tonight?” Ethari asked lightly, though he already dreaded the answer.

Runaan’s voice dropped low, as if he were trying to emphasize a truth that he knew Ethari wouldn’t care for. “She’s coming in to the arena tomorrow to train with the others.”

Irritation surged in Ethari’s chest. “Runaan, we agreed this morning to discuss this tonight. You shouldn’t go making plans when you know I disagree with you, not when things are this important!”

Runaan raised his head and stared down into Ethari’s eyes. “Ethari, this is what I do. Are you questioning my leadership of the Silvergrove assassins?”

“I… Runaan… she’s fifteen. She’s too young. She’s untested in combat.” Ethari’s hands gently caressed Runaan’s cheeks, hoping to ease him back down against Ethari’s chest.

But Runaan’s eyes glittered, and he tipped his horns warily. “I was there for every moment of her training, Ethari. I know what she can handle.”

Ethari’s soft approach wasn’t working. “She’s not cut out for being an assassin, Runaan. She’s too much like Lain—”

“I asked you not to say their names.”

A tiny flame of defensive anger flared hot in Ethari’s heart. “Well, I can’t let them go as easily as you can, Runaan,” he said stubbornly.

“There was nothing easy about it,” Runaan clipped. “I just have more practice at being hard enough to do whatever it takes than you do.”

Ethari’s brows drew together sharply. “Don’t you dare call me weak. Not right now. Not when you’re giving into your own need for Rayla’s love at the worst possible moment.”

Runaan backed up like a shot, kneeling beside Ethari, pulling the blanket off of Ethari’s chest with his sudden movement. “What do you mean by that?”

Ethari flexed up and leaned forward, reaching for Runaan’s tense arm with a soft hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

Runaan shrugged him off. “Tell me what you meant, Ethari. Are you calling me weak?”

Ethari tightened his hand into a fist and set it in his lap. “You’re not looking at how this is making you feel, my heart. You’re withdrawn, you won’t meet my eyes very often, you’re acting on your own when you know I want to talk things through first. You know I'll try to stop you, and you're trying to head me off. And you’re right. I am trying to stop you.”

A strange look passed over Runaan’s face, of disbelief and something darker—betrayal. “She needs this, Ethari—a chance to set her family’s honor right again. And I’m in the perfect position to give it to her. It’s so clearly destined to be this way. Why would you keep it from her?”

“Runaan. She doesn’t need this. Not this. Not to be dragged to the human lands and told to kill for her parents’ sake. Not to take lives in exchange for being given honor. She doesn’t need those things. But you do. You need her to need them.”

Runaan was retreating—Ethari could feel it. “Don’t oversimplify things, Ethari. There is much more at work here than how I want Rayla to feel about me. The King of the Dragons has been murdered. No one knows what else the humans are planning. They need to be sent a message. One they cannot misunderstand—”

“You didn’t say I was wrong.”

“What?”

Ethari took a deep breath. “I said that taking Rayla along was something you needed. And you didn’t say it wasn’t. Runaan, please. You can complete your mission without Rayla.” His hand quested again for Runaan’s arm.

Runaan let Ethari run his hand down his arm, though he’d tensed up. “I can. But I won’t.”

“Please don’t be stubborn on this. Rayla’s too good-hearted for the work of an assassin. What if she can’t do what you ask of her?” Ethari’s hand slid up to cup Runaan’s cheek. “I don’t want her soft heart to put you all in danger. If she got anyone hurt—if she hurt you—it could break her.”

“Ethari.” Runaan’s hand covered his husband’s. “With Rayla’s parents ghosted, we’re all she has. We need to be there for her, no matter what she wants. And what she wants is to avenge her parents’ honor. She came to me—”

“And you should’ve told her no!”

Runaan froze in the wake of Ethari’s raised voice. His hand stiffened and fell away from Ethari’s, and his face closed down as if it had been swallowed by shadow. Ethari had rarely seen Runaan so cold, and never toward him. It chilled his heart. This was his assassin face, his work face. “It’s decided, Ethari. I lead the assassins. I assign the duty roster. I know Rayla’s skills, and I say she’s ready. I’m taking her to Katolis.”

Ethari gripped Runaan’s bare shoulder. “You know her skills, Runaan, but I know her heart. Please, listen to me—”

“I know her heart too, Ethari.” Runaan’s voice was quiet. “She loves me, and she needs what I can give her.”

“Runaan. My heart. You don’t give. You take.”

Runaan’s eyes lingered on Ethari’s face for a long while before he spoke. Finally, in a faint voice he said, “I’m sorry you find so little value in my profession, my heart. I won’t trouble you for further conversation tonight.”

Ethari sat stunned and lost as Runaan slipped out of bed and padded away, headed for somewhere else to sleep. They’d never failed to resolve their issues before. That was the whole point of waiting to discuss difficult topics until they were all snuggled up. But his foolproof plan had just found its first fool, and it was Ethari.

Ethari sat up with his arms wrapped around his knees for a long time, hoping Runaan would change his mind and come back. But he didn’t. And Ethari knew better than to try to find an assassin in the shadows when he didn’t want to be found.

Runaan settled into a corner of his sparring room with his back against the wall, rested his arms atop his knees and his forehead on his arms, and felt hot tears burning his eyes. Was it so bad to give Rayla exactly what she asked for? Runaan was mostly shadow. Ethari had been his light for years, his compass, his waxing Moon. And until Rayla asked Runaan to allow her on his mission, he had always believed, deep down, that he needed Ethari’s light to be a good Moonshadow. That the light of the Moon was the best expression of Moonshadow-ness. That he had nothing truly good and decent to offer on his own. That the darkness within him was a noble sacrifice for his people, serving no better purpose than to balance the great scales of the world.

But Rayla’s request changed all that. Runaan loved Rayla so much that he would do anything she asked of him, were it within his power to do so. And finally, finally, this was something he could offer her. He was finally of use to her. Finally more than just a stand-in for her parents. Finally more than just a trainer.

Rayla had come to him—not Ethari, not anyone else—him—with the deepest desire of her heart. Runaan would not say no to that show of trust, no matter what.

No matter what.

Runaan wanted so deeply for this to be the way he left his mark on Rayla’s life that his very soul ached for the completion of his mission, just so he could see her smile.

Runaan swiped away his tears and hardened his heart. I don’t need to be light. I am the shadow.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

runaan for 13, 14, and 19, assuming for the last one either they can make magical photos or in a modern au

Modern AU for the last one, then!

13. Nickname headcanon

Runaan doesn’t have any nicknames

he doesn’t think they’re dignified

he has a name and he likes it just fine, it shouldn’t be too hard to get all the way to that second syllable

he’ll happily answer to Ethari’s terms of endearment though

terms of endearment aren’t just yeeted out there one day

they have origin rituals

and Runaan loves him his rituals

so when he and Ethari got really serious in their relationship, one of the ways they cemented it was with a ritual establishing their terms of endearment for each other

he earned those terms and he’s very proud of them

they call each other “my heart”

also Runaan is “my shade” and he gets to call Ethari “my light” because they’re Moonshadow like that

14. Dancing headcanon

Runaan is the most graceful dancer in the Silvergrove

he taught Ethari how to step up his game

being community leaders and married dance partners, they often open communal dances, whether they’re casting a spell or just having a party

though Runaan is the more experienced dancer, he loves to let Ethari take the lead

Ethari likes to toss Runaan around, and Runaan can always hold the pose or stick the landing or whatever the dance requires

their wedding solo dance was so beautifully inspiring to the watching crowd that seven Moonshadow elflings were born nine months later, all on the same day

no one has ever let them forget this

Rayla claims that she has 7 siblings because of it

younger couples beg him for dancing tips because they can see how in love he is with his husband when he and Ethari dance, and they want to capture that in their own dance

Runaan always says yes and helps them out, because he takes dancing as seriously as assassin training, and everyone he teaches becomes a better dancer and falls more deeply in love with their partner

19. Favorite photograph headcanon

Runaan’s favorite picture, the one he keeps tucked inside his wallet and framed by his bedside, is the picture he and Ethari had taken the week they took Rayla in

he was nervous, Ethari was nervous, Rayla was upset, and the photographer was some young dude who could barely grow a beard, things did not look good

but when they posed for the picture, the guy was as soft as could be and told them that they reminded him of his dads, who’d taken him in and raised him when his mom couldn’t

Ethari said “Aww, that’s sweet,” and leaned his forehead against Runaan’s temple, Rayla looked up at them and grinned at how cute they were being again, and Runaan softened at the both and smiled down at her, and the photographer took the picture

it was exactly the right note to start off on, and Runaan looked at it every morning, and anytime he needed it, to remind himself what kind of family he wanted to have, and what kind of dad and husband he wanted to be