#and have no clue about them bc i just keep on working afterwards

[audiovisualrecall]

Look at this lovely bruise I discovered on the back of my leg today, I'm guessing that box of flowers that swung around on me and knocked me in the leg a few times was the culprit but initially upon discovery i was baffled bc I didn't look for a bruise that day (also it is tender to the touch which I also had no clue about!)

[ineffablenlghtingales]

Crowley and that beard. Hm not my favorite look, I'll have to say, but it's him. So the episode starts with him in the Land of Uz, 2500 BC, getting ready to kill all of Job’s goats. Aziraphale floats in ready to stop Crowley from killing all of these innocent creatures. Then he tries to get rid of Crowley and Crowley answers simply, "No."

Aziraphale: *big formal declaration meant to expell Crowley* Crowley: ... No. Aziraphale: No?? Crowley: No thank you?

Then there's the bet between God and Satan. Crowley shows Azi the very long contract showing that he has permission to kill these animals, God has agreed to this . Aziraphale's probably a bit horrified to learn that upstairs, they want to see if Job will still be loyal even after all his belongings and children are taken from him.

Aziraphale questions this. I immediately though of Crowley from the previous episode. Intentional, I'm sure, no? Okay, then we have Gabriel organizing books by the first line. Aziraphale is not impressed because lol who does that? Then, Gabriel start singing this song and Aziraphale asks the local record shop owner Maggie for a copy of this song. He discovers it's from an LP from The Resurrectionist pub in Edinburgh, which he believes may be a clue.

Later, the archangels come to the bookshop to investigate the miracle that set off their alarms. Thankfully the miracle has worked, and they don’t recognize Gabriel, the individual that they are after. They think he is just Aziraphale’s assistant. Aziraphale makes up this fib about making Maggie and Nina fall in love and explains that that's the miracle.

Turns out that Maggie is actually in love with coffee shop owner Nina, but Nina isn’t in love with her (not yet, at least). The angels take Azi's word for it but explain that they will be sending someone to verify this miracle at a later date.

Afterward, Aziraphale meets up with Crowley. Istg, I live for the banter between these two. Crowley shows up, telling Aziraphale he's got three reasons for calling the demon. 1) He's bored, 2) He's really excited about something he's done and he'll pop if he doesn't tell someone (which please, that implies that there have been moments when Aziraphale has literally called Crowley to gush about something he did and Crowley's probably just sat there, nodding "Mhmm"ing patiently as he listens to his husband be excited about those things....if someone hasn't written a fic about this or done art, please, I beg you. Do it.) and then 3) bc there's a problem. Azi's used the third one.

He tells Crowley about the fib and they've got to figure out how to make it work.

Flashback to Job's time, and we see Aziraphale arriving to stop Crowley from killing the children (though we find out later, he never actually intends to). Job’s kids are actually brats (except for Jemimah, she's not too bad). Then the reveal that Crowley never actually killed the goats (just um you know turned them into crows), and he wants to protect the children as well.

We see later their conversation about where their allegiances are and their sides. Then Crowley remarks that he's on his own side, and Aziraphale notes how lonely that must be.

Then there's this whole bit about God talking to Job and the angels are deceived by Azi and Crowley's plan. Gabriel isn't convinced though, and demands the truth. Aziraphale lies.

That lie eats away at him and he's afraid he's going to hell for it, but Crowley promises to keep his crimes a secret. Crowley comments on how Aziraphale is an angel who goes along with Heaven for as long as he can. Iirc this is the point when Azi says something about following Heaven up until some point, but there's a 'but'. Crowley notes that.

I think it's immensely interesting that the two of them do what they do, but they do what they know to be right, whether or not Heaven or Hell approve of that. To (hm pun a little bit intended) hell with all of that. And then, and then the bit with car.

I love these dorks so much.

Up next: Recap for 2x03.

Next episode's recap ➵

[thatdeadaquarius]

PLS YOU’RE SO FUNNY your pspspsps is too strong I’m back with more asks hello how are you I’m loving your takes on sagau! I thought of a contribution by the power of the pspsps imagine like the languages in teyvat are based on the nations’ real life counterparts (like Japanese for Inazuma) but like only loosely. So creator knows like exactly 3 words in Japanese and think they’re gonna take that and somehow make it work but they get there and understand NOTHING. They finally understand like one word but turns out it means something completely different in this version of “Japanese” so they think someone told them hi and they said hi back but they’re just going around saying “fuck” and no one wants to tell them

ANOTHER ONE YUHSSS LURING BACK IN FOR MORE im doing well tysm for asking ya flatterer!!

aw u think im funny??!! 🥰 well geez here i thought i was just going feral over sagau/isekai genshin stuff and it was like a dam burst and all yall were just coming down with me funny or not 🤷‍♂️

(Hey askers look ive got cookies 🍪🍪🍪 :) if u ask smth ill give u one!!)

Nice to know the humor translates, but holy fuck this ask is like 10x funnier than anything ive written so far or come up with LMAO PLEASE NO ONE WANTS TO TELL YOU-

____________

This is exactly what Portugese vs. Spanish is like i stg

Im not fluent yet but i know a decent amount of spanish at this point, but when i was first learning it i ran into some Portuguese and couldnt really read it and was like?? Oh ok maybe this is too many vocab words i dont get yet, and showed it to another person who spoke some Spanish and they were like ".. Uh, wtf is that?? What is that???🧐😟 Thats not even Spanish, but why is it almost???" And they just kept trying to read it so hard bc they thought it was so close it should work 😭

Anyway the point is i feel like that is just you in this scenario over and over again lol

Its like teaching a little kid language and they happen to pick up the cusswords the best,

Omfg ur around Beidou about to head to Inazuma (bc i like to think u traveling with Aether/Lumine and they r sweet enough not to abandon ur weird ass)

And Beidou just keeps cussing in Liyue's-almost-Mandarian-Chinese-but-not, and ur like trying to pick smth up bc it sucks none of ur little bits and pieces of lang. from ur world have worked so far, and she keeps saying this one word over and over again, to this angry looking Liyue guy, oh hey wait a minute, that's the Mandarin word for "hello"!! Maybe she's using it sarcastically?? She smiled afterward, oh Kazuha's laughing!! Maybe it means smth different? But they still look positive abt it so eh, cant hurt, and you sort of know how to say it!!

"你好 !! (nǐhǎo)", you do a little wave too :)

(I just used straight mandarin for this pls tell me if not right-)

Hey you did it! Sort of, you didn't really do the tones right, and you look over to see if they got it, and oop-

Everybody froze and looked at you, before Beidou starts screaming laughing, Kazhua's wheezing so hard he's leaning on a barrel nearby, the traveler is trying to keep it together, but u can see Beidou's ridiculous laugh is contagious and is spreading rapidly to crew members and to the traveler,,

The angry Liyuean man no longer looks angry, oh, he's leaving, welp, you can tell u did smth funny, but u havent a clue what u actually said

Every now and then Beidou will come up to you and try to teach u more Liyuean words, but anytime the traveler sees it they shoo her off, she has a shit-eating grin on her face, while the traveler looks unamused or is at least trying to hide their amusement

(There r so many characters that will take advantage of this and only try to teach you cuss words, at least at first, CHILDE, kaveh, VENTI, Itto, BEIDOU, Xinqiu the little prankster, ppl i can think of quickly god i gotta look at a character list)

Beidou BEAMS anytime u say "nîhâo" now, and gives u a thumbs up everytime 👍

You learn much later that you probably should just give up trying to say any of your world's lang. That sound equivalent to each genshin country's lang. bc apparently the few words you know from them are either random shit like "egg, bowl, etc." Or straight up explicit "fuck, shit, piss etc."

__________

I didnt have too much to add bc that is a GREAT AND HILARIOUS idea all on its own (esp if u did it in front of more serious characters or situation)

So pls forgive if lackluster writing happened!!

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! COME AGAIN!! AND YOU'LL GET A FREE COOKIE!! :]

✨️🍪✨️

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[thesoundofmadness]

rc9gn au band hcs for @asterous09 sorry this took so long lol time is very cruel mistress

pre-band backstory

Randy and Howard meet Lavander in 9th grade during the whole 'kick out of the band' thing, but they don't actually become friends till college

Randy has been mind wiped and has no clue about the ninja. He knows he went to high school, and during it alot of 'something' happened, but he can't place it no matter how hard he tries. Doctors claim it's some sort of dissociative amnesia. They speculate that whatever this 'something' is, Randy couldn't handle it so he locked away whatever memory he has of it. Randy feels like that's not it, but he doesn't know what else it could be.

Howard remembers tho. He hates it a lot. They drift apart.

Despite what happened before, Lavander is still very serious about music. It's his dream to become a rockstar, so he studies everything about music. From playing instruments to production to distribution, everything. It helps a lot that his parents just so happen to be already involved in the scene, and super fucking rich.

They don't go to the same college. Randy meets Lavander one night when Randy randomly goes to a concert at a local bar. Lavander recognizes him and talks to him afterwards.

Randy still feels bad about 9th grade (even if he can't remember exactly what it was he feels so bad about), but luckily Lavander has mostly moved on and has no hard feelings about it.

They talk and start becoming friends.

Lavander ends up leaving his band. They have a huge dispute because, despite having all the instruments and skills needed, they don't have a lead singer. No record label is going to pick them up without a singer. It leads to the bassist telling Lavander he doesn't have the talent for it, and Lavander leaves.

While hanging out, Lavander vents to Randy about it. He says maybe he should just quit. Randy tells him something the nomicon once told him about being yourself, and says something like 'Who cares if they think you don't have the talent? If you want to do it, do it. At the end of it, you gotta do what makes you happy. Though... maybe I'm not the one to be telling you that...'

Lavander then suggests maybe they should pair up. 'You still know how to play the piano and keyboard, right? If you get some singing lessons....'

I like to think that Randy and Rachel also become friends bc they wind up working at the same movie theater. Rachel is also going into music, and wants to be an idol/popstar. After giving it A LOT of thought, Randy ends up asking her for singing lessons.

This whole time, Howard is off doing his own thing. Probably studying business or cooking. He won't talk to Randy at all. Won't answer texts, won't return his calls, just avoids him in general. He hates every second of it.

I kinda think maybe Heidi, Bucky and Lavander, Rachel kinda.... force Randy and Howard to make up. They see the toll it's taking on each of them, as much as they deny it. I mean, they've been glued to the hip since they were infants. Heidi decides 'okay i'm tired of you being depressed, go make friends with him again'. Nearly drags him to the game-hole herself

Somehow, it works. Randy and Howard make up, and they decide to band up with Lavander.

actual band stuff

slowly they become the most popular band in Norrisvile somehow.

Randy is main vocals/keyboard, Lavander plays the guitar and bass, and Howard does drums. They don't have a permanent bassist for their live shows, but thanks to Lavanders connections, finding one isn't hard.

Lavander takes care of everything musically. Song writing, composing, producing, taking care of their instruments, keeping them on track during practice, everything. He takes it extremely seriously and won't let them slack for even a second.

Howard is their manager for the most part. He maintains the fiances and gets them gigs.

Randy manages everything regarding the public. He's the main face of the band. He maintains their social media, and is the perfect MC for their performances. He used to have a ton of stage fright (mostly because of his ninja trauma) but gets over it quickly.

Randy kinda puts on a 'confident dumbass' persona in public. He's very charismatic, very funny, open and honest, even if he's kinda stupid sometimes. Exact opposite how he is in real life. Irl he's very reclusive, and anxious. He tries his hardest to be relaxed and chill, but that's difficult around strangers.

He HATES it whenever someone recognizes him out of the blue. Being the ninja, he had to keep his identity a secret to keep himself safe. Whenever a random fan recognizes him when he doesn't expect it, it triggers his paranoia and it takes him EVERYTHING not to hit them and run. He always wears a disguise whenever running errands.

Randy's usually the one who comes up with ideas for their shows and music videos. He knows quite a bit about directing and cameras. He can be a little demanding on set, always trying to get the absolute best shot, but treats everyone with respect.

Howard loves it tho. 100% always willing to give a random person an autograph when he's just getting snacks at the store. He's also more than a little demanding backstage, but Randy usually puts him in his place.

Lavander doesn't mind it either, but usually dresses up with Randy to help him feel better. He's very camera shy though. He doesn't mind letting Randy and Howard take care of interviews and such.

They're friends with Rhymes and his group. They have a few songs together.

They also have a few songs with Rachel. She's norrisviles biggest popstar (basically their equivlent to taylor swift). It's known that her and Randy have been friends for a long time. It's probably speculated they're dating.

Randy and Rachel don't mind it much. It keeps people from finding out about their actual relationships (Randy's with Theresa, Rachel has her own relationship).

I like to imagine the bros live together to save money. they got a weird gay thing going on.

Lavander and Howard probably drink alot. Randy not so much

I just know they probably have a ton of fangirls and simps. there's probably fandom wars on who's the best.

There's also a small bit of speculation that Randy is the ninja. I mean, he has a weird fascination with swords and martial arts, tends to wear black/red a lot, grew up in norrisvile, absolutely hates robots... Luckily the ninja has shown up a few times at their performances, immediately debunking the whole thing. Randy refuses to comment on it.

Lavander's old band is very popular too, and they have a weird rivalry going on on stage. It's fake of course, irl they get along well and there's no hard feelings, but Randy suggested they play up on the 'ex-band' thing for no reason and people absolutely ate it up.

Randy and Howard steams lets play sometimes. Lavander sometimes joins in too.

resentments hcs:

Their longest and most popular album is titled 'RESENTMENTS' and is about Randy and Howard's ninja trauma. It's double the length of a normal album, half of it is in japanese, (randy speaks it), and no one can figure out what the hell any of it means. Randy's said before it's meant to be a message to 'someone', (the nomicon), and that alot of it doesn't make sense to anyone besides him and Howard. not even Lavander knows what the hell is going on in it, and he produced it.

I have a bunch of ideas for what songs are on it, but one of them is called 'graduation'. It's about 10-12 minutes long. It's supposed to be Randy talking directly to the nomicon, telling it everything he meant to say before he mind wiped.

Another one is called 'Demons eye', and it's like, maybe 5-7 minutes long. It's about Howard recounting what it was like to be possessed by the tengu.

Not sure about the title, but another one was written by Lavander. Lavander doesn't know anything about the ninja, but he's seen the massive toll it's taken on Randy and Howard. He wants them to talk to him about it, so the song is just him telling them 'I'm here for you'.

One of them is called 'Secret Garden' and it's a love song about Theresa. It's one of their singles that released before the album, and Theresa absolutely adores it.

One of the first songs on the album is called 'Hornet's Nest' and it's a disstrack against McFist. McFist tried to sue them over it. The artwork for the song in the video is inspired by one of McFist's old advertisements. Tried to say it was defamation, but everything in the song is publicly available information you can find with the right google search. Then he tried to sue them for copyright for the artwork, but the judge ruled the artwork is transformative enough to not count. Which then led to an investigation of McFist's entire company, causing them to find out about his ninja destruction attempts. They got a fuckton of money out of it, and Randy absolutely LOVES to tell the story of it. (Ya know 'rat' by penelope scott? that's basically this one)

Another song is called 'Heroic Death' and is about leaving a legacy and like, if randy died as the ninja no one would really know. All of the album is emotional, but this one might be the most heavy hitter next to graduation. It's a sin in the fandom not to like this one.

i have thought too much about this

[winderlylandchime]

I just now had the time to actually check your replies. I swear usually I’m more on top of things but a certain someone is still going through it, mentally and physically since he got sick again so he’s been acting like a big baby and unfortunately for me work is a bitch at the end of the year. Anyway you are/were imagining correctly about my brother being very animated which I honestly think is why people just let him go on and on. Because I can’t think of any other reason why they would. Except that he doesn’t let people get even a word in because he starts talking fast as fuck the second anyone looks at him. It’s basically like watching a little kid talk about dinosaurs, you have no clue what they’re saying but you let it happen anyway. Also i asked him for you (but for my own curiosity as well) why 2x02 and 2x09 and his reply was ‘because it shows Brian’s both sides, duuuh’ basically the way he explained it was ‘in the second episode you see him caring and loving towards Blondie and helpful and protective and you see that ending where they make looooooveeeee (yes this part was sang) and he is so careful with him and you see the scarf! and then in the other episode you see the hurt, the pain and the bitch of a mother he had and you are forced to imagine the life he lived. You also get the fun and dont give a fuck Brian but more importantly you get a tiny glimpse behind the curtain of Brian Kinney. Basically you see both sides of the coin and it was the easiest way to show and explain my man with the options I had.’ and i would like you to know that this was said very insightfully and nicely almost like a Ted talk and then afterwards, since he sent this to me through voice memo (his latest way of communication bc of his cast which has only backfired twice) he sent another one that just said ‘seriously i thought you were supposed to be a long time fan? How do you not know this’ so I officially got shamed and bullied by a new fan.

Also he now knows Gale’s real name and it’s kinda funny because he is clearly used of calling him Brian. So he keeps messing up and just refers to him as ‘the dude i like’ so, there’s that. With Randy he didn’t have that much problem but he also learned it through the podcast and still refers to him as Blondie. But it is funny because he will be talking to our parents about Gale and switch between Gale/Brian and they now all play this fun little game called ‘is he talking about the cat or the guy?’ You’d be surprised how many times they got the answer wrong. Also he was forced to socialize with humans while sick and spending all day watching qaf and he was talking to someone about it and they once again thought he was talking about his ex. So he explained it’s a tv show and then tried to sell it to one of the (straight) guys by saying ‘hot dude fucking hot dudes (that was his opening pitch). Killer soundtrack. Funny jokes from my man Brian. Seriously the soundtrack is dope. Watch it you wont regret it’ and the guy asked him if it was good and my brother went ‘it was the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to me’..

As for the Gag Reels? He absolutely loved them especially Gale’s blooper from S1 where he says smoking pussy instead of cigars but he absolutely lost it at the S3 wall push blooper. I’m talking pointing to the tv and going ‘huh? They? Kissy kiss after a fuck up! Imagine if the wall push happened’ and that cute blooper with Randy and Gale at the bar when they tried to catch the cop made him love both of them even more, if that’s even possible. However he was so annoyed that there is such little amount of gag reel and bts content, especially of Gale and Randy. He is demanding to know why the hell there’s so little bts content to begin with but especially when it comes to Gale and Randy. He wants to know why the fuck they were missing half of the time. He was also a little annoyed that there was more Hal than Gale because to him, Gale is the moment. And ngl, I fully agree with him on this one even tho I did explain that they kept to themselves more and didn’t like to be in the public eye much or in front of the camera unless filming, to which he replied ‘well they should’ve thought about ME before they acted so selfish’

I ALMOST FORGOT! Tomorrow I’m showing him ATX and Gale’s Interview. The plan was to do it a week ago but he got sick and acted all dramatic like he was dying (it was a bad cold) so cause of that the man spent the entire week watching……QAF/Britin fan edits (my cousins are betting that he will discover fanfic by himself which I really hope doesn’t happen, especially with his luck). Most of the edits obviously made him sad. So he watched more edits to feel better, which made him sad again. It was a vicious cycle that he refused to break. There’s this one video he found of Michael and Britin to the song Jealousy and he sent it to everyone he knows so that they’d see why he can’t stand him. He sent A LOT of us videos he found (I randomly would get texts from him while working saying stuff like ‘omg this one almost killed me’ and itd be a Brian edit to the song Heat Wave) and he’d send that to our parents and his friends too. First two he sent were videos of Brian Kinney (shocker). One was to Call Me By Your Name which made me immediately remember Randy’s love for lil nas x (I need their podcast to make a comeback) and the second one was titled ‘100% reason to remember the name’ in case you wanted to see what he sent to our parents and then acted shocked that they ignored him. But yeah he sent those videos to our family group chat and to his friend group chat and it was captioned ‘*heart emojis* I know right?’ So basically somehow him finishing the show made his obsession even stronger.

DEAR SWEET ANON!!! I'm so excited for this message and update

It’s basically like watching a little kid talk about dinosaurs, you have no clue what they’re saying but you let it happen anyway. This is so endearing though!

His reasons for showing 202 and 209 are valid! I'm sorry that I go you scolded by a new fan. I was just curious because there are other episodes that show those sides. But I guess not many with Joan to show where Brian comes from... very valid reasons.

There should have been more BTS and bloopers from Gale and Randy. WE WERE ROBBED. The wall slam blooper is the best and we were also robbed of that direction in the scene because... they broke the scenery. LOL but them kissing is so iconic.

I definitely want to hear his reactions to ATX and Gale's interview. Him being obsessed with fan vids and edits is so iconic. Welcome to the fandom. AND LOL AT THE CALL ME BY YOUR NAME FAN EDIT! I'm dying about him connecting it to Randy's podcast. Which yes, needs to come back. C'mon Randy! Take a break from grad school and chat about... anything.

Of course finishing the show made his obsession stronger - if I might gesture wildly to all of us... still here, still obsessed. That ending begets obsession.

[charincharge]

AAAA ok so update on meeting that girl for the first time. Pretty sure you’re absolutely right, thanks for the help <3 Going to try to keep this update somewhat in order: When we get to the meeting place, we realize we have no clue what anyone looks like + no one knows real names, so my family goes to sit down. Meanwhile, I see a REALLY PRETTY GIRL (who I highly suspect is LGBTQ also (I’m pan) but didn’t get to confirm) standing off to the side. Anyways, I said something to my parents about if we had a way to contact her or her parents somehow and the girl I had seen just snaps up to look at me and there’s just a silent “YOU” that passed between us because she recognized my voice from when we play games together. Anyways, yeah she’s SUPER PRETTY???? jshdkdja So after talking to confirm via online aliases, we both get VERY nervous and kind of mumble awkwardly to each other in greeting. Everyone else gets along great right away, so that’s good. BUT THEN we go on the tour and I’m kind of mumbling some comments about things we saw and she laughs and !!!!! We start talking and literally will not shut up by the end of the day. Like, we get along so well???? Even as we were walking back to the cars at the end of the day, we were staying together just talking the whole way. + after the tour we went out to lunch / early dinner and got ice cream. AND apparently she just recently found her first shark tooth and is really interested in them. Since I live like.. 30 mins max from the beach (with tons of teeth!!) I decided to invite her to the beach and now we’re planning to meet again sometime to go look for shark teeth together + she doubts that the aquarium is very interesting so I may or may not take her there too afterwards to prove her wrong :D (context: we have one of the largest, most interactive aquariums and, as someone who normally dislikes going literally anywhere, even I find it really fun). Anyways, today was great and she’s amazing and we’re definitely planning on doing more stuff together soon!!! As I’m typing this, I’m actually waiting for her to come online so I can finish teaching her how to play a game I like (we played for like 4 hours and haven’t even made it through the tutorial yet bc we were laughing too much and getting way too distracted just messing around last time) for the next few hours (aka probably until 2:00am or so-)

But yeah, you’re most likely right. Which also kinda scares me bc I’m also demi and I’ve never felt like that before?? So it’s weird just meeting her for the first time and instantly getting along THAT well. Your advice absolutely helped though, so thank you again <3 I probably wouldn’t have recognized what the source of nervousness was otherwise + I was basically mentally repeating “just act natural, just act natural, …” the entire first half.

Other great stuff: she sat next to me on the bus!! we hadn’t really talked aside from the mumbled greetings at that point and she could’ve easily sat with her family, but NO. She chose to sit next to me instead. we’re also just generally interested in a lot of the same stuff (but in a way that weirdly compliments each other?? Like, same general interests but different aspects of them that often are best when working together). Also pretty much the exact same sense of humor (hence us laughing and talking so much after my initial muttered comments about the tour). Overall, just AAAAAA jshsjdja it was so much fun and after the initial awkward mumbly stage we both were just having a ton of fun.

This sounds like it all went SO well!!!! I’m so glad!!!! I hope it continues on, and even if it doesn’t, you should still be so proud of yourself for getting out there 🥰

[remcycl333]

you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting) 

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol. 

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not! 

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well. 

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment! 

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy. 

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms.  you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that. 

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing. 

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little. 

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad. 

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy. 

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk? 

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it! 

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it). 

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!! 

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

[soaptaculart]

HIII hi hlloooo i love ur ideas for aa7... do you have any ideas of what the plot/cases that would make up the game would be yet? im so curious, i love constanze and klaus already

WAUGH THANK YOU SM!!!! It makes me so happy that people like our silly little idea ;;w;;

I've got a couple questions like this, the plot is much more of a question mark than the character arcs etc at the moment lol but a brief little synopsis of what we have atm! Under a cut because even if it's brief it's. Still long hrhgsdjf

- Case 1: Athena defends Phoenix in a very lighthearted wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time situation he ended up in. Our excuse for the compulsory "attorney has no idea what they're doing in the first case" is just that she's nervous as hell about defending her boss bc it feels like a performance review except if she doesn't pass he goes to prison, so her mind keeps blanking lol

- Case 2: Introduces Klaus, Constanze and Franziska. Set in an art gallery, which Klaus is understandably excited to visit after he joins the party at the start of the case. The case revolves around a victim who was inexplicably seen alive by several witnesses after they were supposed to have died - just the kind of nonsense Constanze struggles to deal with, but Athena thrives on. This case also introduces a forensic scientist character, senior to Ema, who will be recurring throughout the game

- Case 3: Set on a train because I cannot BELIEVE we haven't had an AA murder on a train yet. Blackquill was a passenger on it at the time and hangs around for the investigation in a Klavier-in-AA5-esque way. Klaus is really rude to him bc he thinks he's being mean to Athena and Blackquill is uncharacteristically thrown off by this, which Athena finds hilarious. A twist halfway through reveals that the train was at a different point when the murder occurred than was initially thought, necessitating a new station being opened on the second investigation day. Athena and Constanze have a heart to heart at the end of it as Constanze is getting very frustrated that she keeps losing, but they come out of it understanding each other better

- Case 4: We haven't found a setting we're satisfied with for this one yet, but this is where shit starts getting real. The case seems simple initially, but it becomes apparent that there are connections to a case Franziska worked on 9 years ago - the GS-4 incident (lmao). During this case, the then 10 and 7 year old Constanze and Klaus were kidnapped to blackmail Franziska into releasing her suspect. She was able to find and rescue them, but while she was doing so, her suspect was murdered, and even though a combination of some evidence young Connie smuggled from the scene and drawings Klaus did of what he remembered allowed their kidnapper to be caught, he also died mysteriously shortly afterwards, and the culprit behind both murders was never found. Over the course of the present day trial, suspicion falls on the forensic scientist for fabricating evidence, but when they go to visit him during the second investigation day, he is found dead, and the case ends on a cliffhanger

- Case 5: A continuation of case 4, now with the death of the scientist being investigated simultaneously as he was believed to be an accomplice to it all. Apollo also comes back to visit and have a nice talk with Athena about how much she's grown already. But as the trial is about to start again, Klaus is kidnapped Again to pressure Athena and Constanze to secure a guilty verdict for Athena's client. The result is a desperate courtroom scramble where Athena (with Apollo bench buddying for moral support) and Constanze have to stall for time by any means necessary, which even the defendant gets in on, while an intermission takes place with Phoenix, Trucy and Franziska searching for Klaus. They find him and bring him home, armed with a drawing he made which contains a clue that will lead them to the real mastermind behind everything, stretching from 9 years ago to the present, with a trail of deceased accomplices behind them... we'll have to keep that last twist a secret though, lol

But at the end of it all, Constanze has found a new sense of freedom and belief in her own unique strengths and is ready to truly consider her own path and what she wants for herself, Klaus is allowed to stay at the WAA permanently and has his family's blessings to be an artist, Franziska can put to rest an old case that has followed her for all this time, and Athena is just feeling generally on top of the world. Good for her

There's also Two DLC cases, one starring Phoenix as an OG trilogy gang reunion case in Kurain village with Franziska prosecuting, which ends up in a crazy double-victim situation with Maya channelling one and Pearl channelling the other on the stand. The other is starring Apollo as an AJ gang reunion (so yes - Klavier prosecuting, finally, and Trucy and Apollo being investigation partners again at Last). That one takes place at a drag race, the car kind not the R*P**l kind, just because we thought that would be fun lol. I swear when capcom learns that the right way to use DLC cases is pure fanservice with reappearances from beloved characters who it was difficult to fit into the main game >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

EDIT: More details on the overarching plot, big bad and case 4 + 5 here!

[aloeboba]

SO, brain said todoroki working the night shift at a cvs during the summer or something and I think this has already been done, actually (but i don’t remember it so i’m not plagiarizing).

But the absolute chaos that could string from this whole thing. He’s probably a cashier.

First off, he would be so done with this thing.

Like the weirdos who come into gas stations at 3 am are the people he has to deal with

So we have one sleep deprived todo and like 30 sketchy customers with issues

“no ma’am, the coupon isn’t valid. in fact it’s been expired since 2008″

“no sir, i can only scan one coupon per purchase, per customer”

He probably has so many of those interactions that he does, in fact, take multiple coupons at once and expired extra bucks.

Although, when its much to late for our icyhot boy, he probably messes with people on purpose just because he’s bored and too delusional to act like a sane person.

*scans card* “it won’t go through” “oh well try again” “*scans card and it goes through* it won’t go through”

*scanning a pill bottle* “you know, I heard the yakuza was using this as a front for their quirk enhancers, didn’t end well though. Turned people into giant mosquitoes. You should have seen it. Couldn’t eave my house for a month.”

Someone: *grabbing a container of ice cream*

Todo: i heard there was a lawsuit against them. something about smuggling drugs through that exact flavor. Hid it in the caramel chunks.”

If he has to suffer so do they

He also gossips with the older women.

Todoroki is the kind of guy to probably actively flirt with the manager or boss or something to get on their good side or just to get a 50 cent raise

Upgrade: he cannot flirt that well. it’s probably confusing with mixed in Spanish words (?) but the manager finds his efforts cute and somehow flattering.

He definetly bumps into a poorly disguised dabi at some point at 4 am buying cheap hair dye

Todoroki: *eye contact*

Dabi: *nervous eye contact*

Todoroki: ...

Dabi: ...

Todoroki: that’ll be 10 dollars

Dabi: but it says 6

Todoroki: its 10 dollars

*staring continues*

Dabi, who doesn’t want to make a scene: FiNe *digging around in his pocket*

The manager doesn’t tell him that they hired a new night shift shelve stalker so when he hears rustling and footsteps, he just assumes its a big rat or smth

No not a big rat

A human??

Oh uraraka

At first its kind of awkward (especially because todo got so tired of the noise he came at her with a broom and lysol; it did not end well) so they just kind of acknowledge the fact that they know each by staring at each other for minutes at a time, even when he’s checking someone out

They finally decide to talk to each other and its only chaos from there.

They race each other in baskets through the isles and replace labels on shampoo bottles

They probably sniff the perfume behind the counter and rate the smells (once todoroki stole a sample), doing bad french accents and huffing them like they were wine (that didn’t end well though because they both needed sinus medicine afterwards)

Todoroki, doing a bad french accent: ah yes, stronk, woodsy, cheap...

Uraraka: mm-hm, airy and floral, just like the fabreeze I keep in my room

Todo: this one is, yes, yes... balsomic... vinegar that is. what is this?

Uraraka: mm, bubbly and familiar. ah right, like non-toxic scented glue.

Todo: this one is-- *coughing* the worst. I do not recommend this scent, Uraraka.

They were once caught by a someone and todo gave him a dollar to keep his mouth shut

Uraraka and todoroki end up bonding or whatever in the form of pranks and chaos and end up growing closer than they thought they would

They look forward to seeing each other

What i’m trying to say here is this is romance

Todochako fam

Like right now they’re in between dating and best friends (whatever you wanna call that. Will and Grace, maybe?)

Mitsuki goes on a late night run one night and probably recognizes him as katsuki’s classmate and surprised to see him working as cashier like “dont your daddy got money??”

“yes ma’am but i despise him”

She probably goes on a rant abt katsuki and work and he just nods along and throws in a few comments about his job or whatever

“you know, you seem like a nice boy, todoroki-kun. I wouldn’t mind if you dated my son”.

“no offense, mrs. bakugou, but i would punch him.”

They become fast friends

She invites him over sometimes, at some point meets uraraka and loves her also

unfortunatly i have no more to write because i can’t think of anything else but this was fun actually :D I think this is a really fun idea so i might (or if someone else wants to) write a fic about this but idk bc i’m what the kids call “unmotivated most days” so use what you want with these.

(also, i’ve never worked at a cvs before so idk if this is accurate)

edit: i was lowkey brain dead from working on a computer all day when i wrote most of this so honestly i have no clue whats going rereading it so i apologize for the literal weirdness and parts that make no sense so i make edit it later :\

[melodythebunny]

I just thought up of something. Experimental Cheese but in the Steven Botsford au.

:D enjoy this ramble composed of random incoherent/j thoughts before i went to sleep last night

Fluff first- First meeting- Steven first met Carrie at a bus stop, it was pouring hard that day and neither of them had a umbrella, but it wasn’t until he found her hanging up fliers for the local animal shelter that he had had an actual conversation with her. He had offered to help her when he saw she was struggling keeping together the stack of fliers she was carrying around. As they walked, she kept talking about the animals at the shelter, her pet cat, diamond, and pretty much whatever came to mind. And steven loved it. Falling for her was quick and easy, kinda an “Whoops, I like her” situation.

marriage- Tim became steven's wingman to help him out with relationships. Like you mentioned with him being pretty blunt with saying his brother's opinions on people- XDDD he joked around and asked his brother. "when's the wedding?" and that had realizing that hey he did want to spend the rest of his life with carrie. with some planning and helpful tips from bampy, he begun planing out a way to propose.

He took her to a fancy resturant that had an outside seating option, he had requested a table ahead of time right under the balcony, and told a worker to drop the ringbox, that was tied closed by a few heart shaped ballons onto their table from the balcony in order to surprise her.

And his plan almost worked until a gust of wind blew the balloons towards the pond next to the tables they were at, causing Steven to not only chase after them, but to also fall into the pond, which was freezing cold by the way.

Carrie said yes after she managed to stop laughing. the wedding was a few months afterwards in summer. nothing super fancy or anything but still memorable. wedding colors were white, purple and pastel blue. obviously the main flowers were forget-me-nots (insert quote about symbolism and flowers-)

Everyone had fun, until Clayde did something to make Steven mad and he chased him around and somehow the cake fell over on carrie's parents, causing them to retain minor injures.

daily life antics are bound to happen with this family.

OH YEA both Tim and Carrie book reservations to any pretty Princess and Magic Pony Power Hour Club events any chance they get. steven is dragged along. he's not into it. but does enjoy spending time with his family.

and now for angst portion bc thats why yall really here for/jjjj-

everything was going so fine for the botsford family. aside from bumping heads with the catswells of course. life was great for the newly weds. unfortunately, things end off similarly to canon verse... there wasnt any signs or clues left at the crime scene, so no one knew WHO did it. she was just gone. Sally who's a district attonery was flooded by demands (even tho its not in her job description) by felix and catheirne to find the culprit. the thing is, fair city does have crimes but they are commonly just theft problems. So nobody couldn't piece together much evidence to point fingers.

this caused friction between the families (botsfords n catswells) more so than ever before. cutting ties seemed like a better option at this point. steven in this au is a bit more grounded since he has his family supporting him through all this. he drowns himself in work, only taking breaks to take care of his daughter and occasionally visiting his brother.

[tonyglowheart]

okay the more I think about this, the more I like this idea

So, premise is that I'm not sold on Tim as Red Hood in reverse batfam AUs, since like if any of them Get why Batman can't kill (both as like the symbol/title bc otherwise GPD couldn't be friendly or tolerant of the Bat as an official stance, and as like a personal line for Bruce), it'd be Tim imo.

so I'm thinking, it'd be interesting if his death wasn't caused by Joker (passe, tired, society has progressed past the need for Joker), and instead the second Batlad's death was caused by a freak accident in the middle of a Riddler scheme. It's the kind of thing where, yeah Riddler caused them to be in the situation, but the death itself isn't *really* Riddler's fault. It's tragic and a lot of blame all around and a lot of ppl blaming themselves. Riddler retires from villainy afterwards out of grief and guilt tho.

Years later, when Jason is the new Batlad (I think he still tried to steal the wheels off the Batmobile, but he gave Bruce a much-needed wakeup call when he like hit him with a tire iron and shouted how everyone on the streets knows to avoid the Bat now since Batlad died, everyone knows he's gotten more brutal and less discerning and almost as bad as the villains, or even worse bc at least some of the rogues abide by honor amongst thieves/the street folk. etc etc Batman takes him to Bruce who takes him in, Jason is suspicious bc why would the Bat take him to Bruce of all ppl even tho it's an open secret the Bat is funded by Wayne, maybe even a rumor that the Bat IS Bruce Wayne, and he finds the Cave and extorts Bruce into taking him on as Batlad, partly so Jason can also give back and partly so he can keep an eye on Bruce, the big dummy)-

But years later, a new.... villain? vigilante? antihero? emerges, calling himself Enigma. He sets up these elaborate tests of morality for bad guys - not necessarily rogues but like. corrupt politicians, dirty cops, biased judges or prosecutors, etc. - wherein they're given an elaborate scheme, kind of like a Saw trap ig but it's always fair, there's always a chance for the person to make a moral choice/personal sacrifice that shows they're more than just corrupt or self-serving. Batman thinks it's Edward Nygma, come out of retirement to dabble in the antihero field, and tracks him down- but no, he is retired, and has been growing his business designing and selling escape room designs for years now. He has no clue who this new guy is or what his deal is. So back to square one.

The first couple times, this new Engima guy is pretty good at diverting Batman from interfering and his schemes go off, more often to the detriment/death of the guy being tested- tho a couple times it did work and the ppl in it came out changed. Traumatized, ofc lol, but like with a change in perspective and priority. But eventually, Batman starts wising up to the diversions, and eventually it's revealed that Enigma is Tim. And, well, the clues WERE there for Bruce to see, if he'd just seen them.

I think this works w Tim not being able to fully return to the fold, bc like having died himself he knows just how incentivizing for personal change the threat of real actual death can be. He may not be setting out to kill people, but he's also not averse to setting up situations where they may well die. Maybe as he starts returning more to the fold, he pivots to being sort of Oracle-like, where he deals more with information and giving the Batfam tip-offs and leads or info support, in addition to like patrolling on the ground maybe. But like, patrolling wouldn't be his main gig, I feel like he'd become sort of information mastermind/broker, the way Jason took on being like a mob boss so he could control the trade better to prevent kids from getting involved, etc.

But anyway, for me I feel like this works as a concept better, where Tim is the one who died and came back and then occupies a sort of Batfam adjacent but unable to bring himself back fully into the fold concept, vs a straight "Tim is Red Hood" concept.

[thorin-is-a-cuddler]

Okay let‘s do it! For everyone who really doesn‘t want to read Skulduggery Pleasant Dead or Alive, here are some of the main things that happen in it:

- Tbh there are by now too many characters whose names start with a „C“ and I get super confused about this... anyway

- Valkyrie time travels with the help of a dude whose astral form lives in a glass

- she travels 72 years into the future and obv it‘s not a nice future

- everyone is suppressed if they don‘t devote themselves to the Faceless Ones who have returned by the way! Humans are either killed, exploited or fed to the Gods! Apart from that everyone lives in ignorant „harmony“

- the Faceless Ones return through Alice Edgeley (surprise) who is as we know Valkyrie‘s sister and therefore also one of the descendants of the Gods

- Alice is then obviously one of the most powerful sorcerers in the world and chooses the name Malice for herself (not bad that one I gotta admit)

- The return of the Faceless Ones happened on some festival which has such a complicated name that I cannot for the life of me spell it now! Anyway there was an energy wave created by Creed that melts away everyone who is not a child of the Faceless Ones, then found Valkyrie who struggled so much that she turned into a harpy (...), then the wave continued and found Alice and she let the power in

- obviously Valkyrie goes back to the present and tries to avoid all this! Tbh she and Skulduggery are pretty useless throughout the book ^^

- The most useless bullshit side story of this book is the story of Coda Quell, a former Ripper who put down his armor and all. Derek Landy obviously felt the need to explain to us what Valkyrie was doing between The Dying of the Light and Skulduggery book 10 (what‘s it called again?) and it turns she was very very sad and working out with this Ripper who she then has a sort of relationship with but who cannot return the emotion. So they go their seperate ways.

- Coda then realizes he does love Valkyrie after all and wants to go and kill Militsa and Skulduggery which first of all built up some excitement bc I was ready for some drama ensuing here. Well forget about that. He immediately gets killed by Militsa as he attacks her which was of course not her intention and now she‘s traumatized and therefore BREAKS UP WITH VALKYRIE which makes me so mad you have no idea. Auger Darkly is traumatized from killing the King of the Darklands as well by the way. I think Auger is the only one I really had some sympathy with in this book. He stands up against his parents and actually wants to travel the world. Too bad. He gets involved in the final battle and gets stabbed with the Obsidian Blade. Apparently he had gotten a tiny shard of it into his eye during his fight against the King of the Darklands which now leads to him turning into Obsidian from head to toe as he gets stabbed. Apparently a single touch from him could now extinguish you now. Please do not ask me where he then disappeared to bc that was hella fucking weird and made NO NO sense so yes, he‘s gone.

- Who stabbed Auger you might wonder ^^ It was Cadaver Cain, the Skulduggery from the future who after losing Valkyrie to harpydom apparently remembered weird things he learned from the Lord of the Underworld or whatever and now is pretty evil and ruthless. He possesses Valkyrie‘s body when she travels into the future and follows her into the past. Where he then secretly wants to bring a world of the living dead to the entire planet. This is averted in the final battle by Skulduggery flying into a crack in the sky and talking to the Gods of Death. Do you hear me laughing? I think I lost my mind while reading this book bc everything was really too far-fetched, way way way too far!

- So. Valkyrie saves Alice in the end (who also gets possessed by her future self) by throwing herself onto the Activation Wave Source and consuming the entire power herself. This happens on the last pages. Afterwards she is absolutely fucking weird. Nothing big happens with her and we are left wary as hell. Then on the last page she meets Omen who is a little sad as you might imagine (he also fucked up his exams and all) and she is very weird to him. She tells him that the Faceless Ones are now living inside her, deciding when to come out. But some of them are apparently already there. She allows Omen to use her „aura vision“ and he sees these giant enormous Gods sitting in the sky and watching them and he starts crying and this is the end of the book.

- *big big sigh* So, a few others things:

- Dexter Vex is mentioned once, only for us to be told hat he dies in the future.

- China appears in the future and has apparently been tortured by Malice and is now stuck in a beautiful library without the ability to read which is supposed to be her punishment.

- When Valkyrie meets her in the future Malice breaks up their meeting and kills China before Valkyrie timetravels back to the present due to China giving her a clue in the last second.

- Tanith is part of a resistance group with Temper and a few others. In my opinion it makes no sense that Dexter wasn‘t a part of this group. After all Tanith promised Saracen to look after him. And it was a very Dexter-y group?? I don‘t get it.

- Kierre of the Unveiled has an appearance and is still in a relationship with Temper. She doesn‘t have one line though ^^

- China saves Tanith in the end, miraculously awoken from her coma (????)

- Valkyrie allows herself to cry in front of Militsa and be honest to her. Their breakup was in my opinion very unnecessary.

- it is mentioned multiple times that Skulduggery is not good for Valkyrie. His integrity was questioned a lot.

- some of the old Valkyrie-Slulduggery banter was back which was at times very amusing I gotta give that much to Landy ;) the best moment was in the end when Skulduggery imitates Creed‘s voice and keeps insulting Valkyrie, that was cute. Valkyrie smiled a bit more again in this books and even bests Skulduggery at one moment in one of their banters.

- at one point Valkyrie colors her hair blond and puts on a „girly“ dress

- oh and Darquesse was raised by Sebastian, is now the age Valkyrie was in book 9 and got captured by Commander Hoc.

- This is all I can think of right now. If you want to know more, please message me. :) I am fed up with this series now. I actually felt like vomitting just bc there were so many weird things going on that I wished I could have just not read them. I can‘t follow this story at all anymore and I‘m pissed about Dexter obviously. :(

[r0zyp0zy0zy]

Hi!! I’m new to the Haikyuu fandom but Kageyama is my favorite so far!! Can you do numbers 20 and 24 with him please? Thank you in advance! 🧡🖤

Haikyuu!! Prompt list trial

HQ!! Prompt list

Thanks for requesting! I’m also fairly new to the Haikyuu fandom <3

The other requests are in the works, they might just take a bit longer bc I’m swamped with school stuff! Happy reading :D

Words: 2400+

Warnings: possible weight trigger?, Kags calls you heavy 😔

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x FEM!reader

Prompt(s): 20- "I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" & 24- "don't leave me here with her/them!"

The mind of Kageyama was mostly a mystery; his skull hollow with a few volleyballs bouncing around. He wasn't the smartest to say the least— Have you seen his report card?

So, when his heart pumped 10x faster than when he was on the court when he was around you, he only thought he wasn't feeling well that day. Next was his voice; constantly stuttering for no apparent reason when he was chatting with you. Kageyama had not a clue what was going on with him until Tanaka spoke up for him, asking how long Kageyama was going to wait before asking you out. The boy in question just wrinkled his nose and went to toss another ball to an energetic redhead.

Nishinoya and Tanaka cornered the unsuspecting setter in the club room, trapping him with their looming auras. Kageyama only stared at them quizzically for a moment before a phone was shoved in his face.

"Look, dude, check out this article!" Tanaka grinned, raising his eyebrows.

"Is it about volleyball?" Kageyama asked as he threw on his uniform.

"No—"

"—don't wanna look at it then," Kageyama interrupted his upperclassmen, grabbing his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder.

"C'mon bro!" Argued Nishinoya, blocking the door with pure physics, clinging to the frame, "we just wanna help you get with y/n! This Wiki article will save you from your lack of social awareness around her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kageyama mumbled, glancing at the phone pointed at him. It was titled: 'How to Flirt with Girls'. Now, he wasn't necessarily considering reading it, but it was tempting. "Why d'you want me to flirt with y/n? She's my friend."

"She's your crush is what she is. Are you really too dense to realize your feelings?" Tanaka said. "Actually- yeah. You are. Here, I'll text you the link."

Later that night when Kageyama was trying to sleep, his mind wandered in circles thinking about his feelings towards you. He didn't think he had time to develop a crush, but here he was pulling up his phone to check the link his upperclassman sent him. He squinted at the bright WikiHow screen, and scrolled down to read the captions. He glanced at the first three options, not really reading (or caring) about 'don't forget to smile!' and 'don't cross your arms'.

The only title that caught his eye was 'Tease Her'. Kageyama knew how to do that; it was easy. He did it with Hinata all the time! He blushed just thinking about making you flustered, a wish that he didn't know he had until tonight. He didn't bother with reading the rest of the article, feeling confident in himself that he knew what to do. He threw his phone back onto his nightstand and cuddled into his bedsheets, grinning wildly.

Tobio didn't know what he was getting into when he asked Tanaka and Nishinoya about the skill of teasing. He had only wanted a few pointers from the 'pros', and some advice on what to do after you were charmed by him.

"Oh ho ho!" Tanaka said excitedly, waving his hands around as he ranted. "Make sure to insult her playfully, but always tell her how beautiful she is afterwards! Oh, and don't forget about the lingering touches! Girls love that stuff, trust me."

Kageyama nodded along, turning to Nishinoya, "don't forget to smile! Girls love sweet smiles~."

The raven haired boy was practically buzzing with anticipation as he waited at the table he usually ate at with you, desperate to try out his new flirting techniques. He smiled at you, something he usually did but he tried making it brighter. He felt his chest bubble when you raised your eyebrows at him, giving a cute smile in return.

You were wondering what the hell was up with Kageyama. You knew he wasn't the best at smiling, but when he flashed his teeth it was just downright creepy. You tried not to laugh as you sat beside him, pulling out your lunch to sit on the table in front of you. A huff left your lips as Tobio snatched away your bento, raising it above his head with a playful smirk.

"Kageyama-kun," you raised a brow playfully. "You want me to starve or something?"

"Just watching your weight," he replied, grin still plastered on his face.

You deadpanned at him, giving him a scowl, "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel like shit."

"You're still p-pr-er, P-p-pretty in my eyes," your friend stammered, his stance wavering. You lazily tried to grab your lunch back, but Tobio's long arms kept it out of your reach.

You sighed, giving him a teasing grin before reaching out and tickling his armpit. He choked out a laugh and your bento fell out of his hand, and you caught it. Kageyama gave you a frustrated pout and watched as you ate your food.

"Serves you right for calling me fat," you said through a mouthful, cringing at your manners, "that wasn't very nice."

"You're only heavy because of your muscle," Kageyama said, propping a fist on his cheek, "you'd be good at serving." You looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out what was up with him today.

"Y-your clothes look cool today," Tobio offered, trying to keep up with his 'flirtatious' act.

"... dude I literally wear the same thing every day. Y'know, my uniform," now you were really confused. Was he messing with you? Or was he just being his usual weird self?

A blush creeped onto his face and he looked away, burring his face in his own lunch. You ate in an odd silence, occasionally catching Kageyama taking glances at you.

"Y-you're, erm, very..." Tobio trailed off, refusing to look at you. His face was red with embarrassment and he stared at his empty lunchbox, tapping his fingers on the table rhythmically.

"Go on~," you pressed, glaring holes in his head.

Kageyama perked up suddenly, putting an arm around your shoulders, "you look heavy, let me hold it for you. Wait—."

"Ok, dude. What's up with you?!" You were getting pissed now, and you quickly packed up your bento. "I'm going to my class early."

Before he could stop you, you peeled his arm from your body and sped walked away into a bathroom. Kageyama blushed in frustration, cursing at his stupid twisted tongue. He couldn't believe he messed up the simplest pick up line, the one that Nishinoya had taught him. Maybe Tsukishima was right, he was going to scare you off before he could make a proper move. He groaned angrily into his hands and shoved his lunch container into his bag, huffing down the hall to get to his class.

You sunk down into your seat, trying not to let the interaction with Kageyama rule your mind. Was was up with him today? You thought. He was usually odd, but not this odd. You laid out your things in front of you and organized them to distract yourself. You slightly jumped at the sound of the first bell, and you heard the hallway outside start to get louder with footsteps and laughing chatter.

"Hi y/n-san!" Yamaguchi said, and you looked up at him.

"Hey," you mumbled.

"What's got you all grouchy?" Tsukishima chuckled as he sat by his desk beside yours.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, "Kageyama-kun was just being a dick during lunch."

"What'd he do?" Yamaguchi asked, sitting in his seat behind you. He gathered his notebook and pencil case.

"He was being really weird. Er, weirder than normal," you started. "He tried holding me back from my lunch and he basically called me fat. But then he said I was heavy because I had so much muscle? Which doesn't even make sense, and then he said I'd be good at setting which is— I mean ok?"

Tsukishima snickered from beside you as he opened his binder, and Yamaguchi blushed a little at his teammate's actions.

"And then he told me that my clothes looked nice. My uniform clothes, that I wear every day," you puzzled almost to yourself, forgetting that your friends were listening to your rant. "Oh, he also said like, I dunno, a pickup line or something? He said that 'I looked heavy and he wanted to hold 'it'' whatever the hell he was supposed to mean by that."

Tsukki had to shove a hand over his mouth to keep himself from combusting into boisterous laughter, Yamaguchi doing the same. You frowned and rolled your eyes, turning to look at the board as the second bell rang.

"The idiot's got a crush on you," Tsukishima spilled, chest shaking from the aftershocks of his laughter.

"W-wha—," you started.

"—Tsukki!" Yamaguchi interrupted. "You told me that you weren't gonna mess with Kageyama-kun's relationships!"

Tsukishima just shrugged before turning to the board, your eyes bulging at him. "He fucking what—."

"I know!" Tsukishima smirked, "I didn't think he had any emotion for anything but volleyball."

You opened your mouth to reply, but got cut off by your teacher. You frowned as you set up your notes, messily writing your name and the date. Kageyama's actions now made sense to you, knowing how awkward he is in expressing his feelings.

After class as you walked down the hall, Tsukishima sported a sly grin. You eyed him quizzically, not trusting the look in his eyes. He smirked harder at your glance and chuckled.

"I have a plan," the blonde said, pushing up his glasses. "I'm gonna shove Kageyama in the equipment room with you."

"And so I get a say in this at all?" You pressed, glaring playfully at him.

"Well, what do you say?" He asked.

"I say yes," you said, Yamaguchi facepalming at your response.

You followed the two boys down to the gym where they practiced, and waited by the door until Yamaguchi gave you the clear that no one was there yet except for the third years. Tsukishima led you to the double doors of the equipment room and you took a step inside the dark room, turning on your flashlight.

"If you hear an even three knocks, open the door immediately," you ordered, shaking slightly. "Incase he does something... weird," you faltered slightly, and Yamaguchi nodded quickly.

"Whatever," the tall blonde in front of you said, "just get in before he comes in the gym— oh, he's here."

The door was closed suddenly, and you were left alone with only your phone flashlight to protect you. You took a deep breath as you heard voices outside the heavy doors, trying to regulate your heartbeat. What were you doing? What was your plan after he gets trapped inside? The doors opened and filled the room with light for a brief moment before the space was consumed in darkness once again.

"Hey!" You heard Kageyama yell beside you, pounding on the door, "what the hell?!"

You laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to slap you away, faltering when he realized it was you. His eyes widened and he was glad you couldn't see the blush that flourished on his face. Kageyama was silent for a few moments before hammering at the door again.

"Guys! Don't leave me here with her!" He panicked when you pulled his hands away from the doors, and he went quiet.

"Calm down, Kageyama-kun," you stifled a giggle. "You're only here so you can apologize to me."

"W-what?" He stuttered, body going stiff.

"Just say sorry for offending me," you shrugged. His eyes were glued to the floor, hands still trapped by your grip.

"I- I thought... I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" Kageyama's blush crawled across his whole face all the way to the tips of his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut, terrified of what your next words were going to be.

"So you do have a crush on me," you pondered, loosening your hold on his wrists. The boy in front of you snapped his hands to his sides and anxiously squeezed his fists.

"How...?" Kageyama held his breath, as if afraid of your answer.

"Hmm, a little birdie told me~," you teased, running a finger down his chest. His breath hitched in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine when he felt your hot breath whisper onto his ear, "I'm still waiting for your apology."

"I'm s-sor-sorry for what I s-said at lunch today..." Kageyama stammered, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

"I accept your apology!" You smiled and went in for a hug, crushing his arms to his sides. "Meet me after practice near the vending machines~," you murmured playfully.

"—what are you guys doing?!" Daichi's muffled yell came through the door. "You can't just trap people in there!"

Kageyama tensed and he tried to pull away, but you held him closer. The bright light from the gym poured into the small room, illuminating all of the equipment and yourselves.

"Are you oka— oh," Daichi cut himself off, eyes widening at the sight of a girl hugging his underclassman. You peaked at him over Kageyama's shoulder and gave a shy smile, pulling away slowly.

"Bye, Tobio-chan," you adjusted your bag and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See you after your practice."

The group of boys watched in silence as you skipped your way out the gym door, too shocked to say anything. Kageyama's face grew hotter and he reached up to touch where you kissed him. He felt like he was going to pass out.

"Kageyamaaaaa!!" Hinata yelled, shaking his friend viciously, "was that your girlfriend?! Why didn't you tell us you had one?! She's so pretty! Why does she even like you?!"

"Chill out Hinata-kun," Daichi said sternly, pulling the redhead away by the back of his shirt. "Kageyama-kun, be ready for practice in five."

Tobio nodded slowly, his hand still on his cheek in bewilderment. He was too excited to tell Hinata off, completely blocking out his friend. He couldn't wait for practice to end.

[maysbanks]

are you bored yet. (jj maybank)

hey everyone ! basically this is my first time writing for jj, or anyone from obx in general. this is a side acc from my main acc that i made purely bc this fic idea came to me when watching obx and after listening to the wallows on repeat for weeks. idk i just thought the song was kinda fitting for jj, and im a sucker for soft ! jj with a friends to lovers arc, so here this is. it's quite a long one btw, the words just kept flowing so i apologise in advance. also i have a few more fic ideas based off some songs so if you like this and are interested in more pls let me know ! im probably gonna be writing a lot more for this boy bc i adore him. anyways i hope u enjoy !

warnings: features swearing, mention of sex, underage drinking, drug use and violence.

summary: based lightly off the song 'are you bored yet?' by the wallows ft clairo, reader and jj delve deeper into their relationship, taking the steps further into becoming something more than best friends. however worries and doubts begin to plague their minds, as they fear their relationship of becoming just a memory.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

"What are you doing later?" You looked towards Kie who'd directed the question towards you, her eyes squinting from the sun that was grinning down at your forms from where you were both seated on the sand.

"Dunno," you shrugged your shoulders. "Probably hanging out with J or something."

Kiara scoffed, a mocking look taking over the features of her face as her head turned towards yours, your eyebrows raising at the sly smirk on her lips. "What?" You questioned, narrowing your eyes when all she did was laugh. You shifted in your place, body moving from laying on your back to on your stomach, figuring it was about time to switch positions for your tan anyway. "Seriously Kie, what're you laughing about?"

She shifted along with you, only laying on her right side so she could face you head on, her hand propping her head up from the ground. She was still grinning. "JJ," she said simply. You raised your eyebrows at her once more, seemingly not understanding what she was trying to get at. "What's going on with you two?" Kie pushed on when you didn't respond, her own eyebrows inching further up her forehead.

In the distance you could hear the boys' screams, their commotion coming from the water you had passed on entering. You could hear JJ taunting John B from where you lay, Pope laughing along, and the splashes that you could only assume were also coming from them. You never spared them a glance, though from the corner of your eye could see their figures and indeed the loud splashes of water were coming from them, and you were certain JJ was holding John B underneath the water.

"Nothing's going on," you said in response to Kie's question, rolling your eyes playfully at her exclaim of 'oh c'mon!'. "What? It's the truth. Nothing is going on, not really."

Kie furrowed her brows. "What do you mean by 'not really'? Did something happen between you two?" She prodded.

You shrugged, because in all honesty you couldn't say much of anything about your relationship with JJ. You were just as unsure about it all as Kie and more than likely the rest of the gang were (because if Kie had picked up on it than surely Pope and John B had too, and you were kind of freaking about it.) and had no idea what to say in her line of questioning. Of course you wanted to talk about it, you and the Pogues never kept secrets from each other - but was it really a secret when they technically knew about it anyway, and was it really a secret when you and JJ hadn't even spoken about keeping it a secret too? Your mind raced, and you figured it was easier to just shrug it off for the time being. Kie would no doubt ask again, and you hoped you had the answers by the next time she (or someone else) would.

"He's my best friend," you'd decided on saying. From the corner of your eye, you could see the guys approaching. "We've been close since we were like, ten. We've always been the same."

Except now the two of you held hands under the table and kissed in the safety of your rooms, among other things. That part of your relationship was fairly new though, and so you decided against saying anything until you could work out exactly what was going on between you and JJ - because you had no clue, and weren't even sure that JJ knew himself. It just sort of happened, the line being crossed over from friends to lovers in the blink of an eye. One minute you'd never dare to give in to the temptation of JJ Maybank's heavenly sinful lips, and the next the pair of you were sharing a bed almost every night.

Nothing much had changed though, in regards to your friendship. JJ and you had always been close, always intimate in your touches. Always beside each other, rarely without the other. You were an unstoppable duo from the minute you met. Just somehow, along the line, over the years, your friendship had turned into more. Each touch became longer, each glance would linger, and something had shifted. It was inevitable, you supposed. Nobody was ever really that close with someone without feelings getting involved at some point.

The guys were a lot closer now, and Kie spared them a glance before looking back towards you. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do." Was all she said before the sun that was earlier shining down on you was blocked by the trio of tall guys that smiled at the pair of you. Kie sat up, smiling as Pope took a seat beside her on her towel. "Have fun out there?"

"Oh, tons," came the voice that belonged to the person you were talking about not a minute ago. JJ smirked down at you, blonde hair dripping wet on his forehead and golden tanned chest on full show. You admired the view behind your sunglasses and sent a grin in his direction when he seemed to notice. "You checking me out there, babe?"

You laughed as he did a little shimmy, rolling your eyes as you looked at him over the rim of your glasses. "What would you do if I was, Maybank?" You played along, smirking when you heard John B let out a gag from somewhere beside you. JJ smiled back, and squatting down in front of your form he'd grabbed hold of your feet, laughing when you squealed. Tugging so that you were laying on your back rather than your front, his sea blue eyes gazed down your body, unknowingly leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The feeling you shared with JJ was unlike any other, nothing or nobody could come close to topping it. It was unexplainable, the feeling of absolute longing for him to just be there forever. You couldn't ever imagine a life without him in it, and that thought both scared and excited you.

JJ stared down at you, tongue peeking from his mouth to wet his pink lips as he looked. You felt hot all over and you knew it wasn't because of the sun. "Things only you could imagine sweetheart," he taunted from above you, knowing fine well that what you could imagine he'd probably already done to you. You smirked back, feeling a thrill shoot through you because the pair of you knew this and the remaining three of your group had no idea, or so you believed. This new relationship, this unspoken thing between the two of you was simply yours, and somewhere in the future you feared you'd both come to regret it, whatever it was, but in the moments of the present you knew neither of you could find it in yourselves to actually care.

And so you both smiled at each other like the world around you didn't exist, and for a couple of seconds you could pretend it didn't, JJ moving so he was seated behind you with your body seated between his legs and your back against his chest. Sat there, surrounded by your friends though almost oblivious to their presence as JJ's hands rested on your skin, his breath on your neck. You leaned into him, and smiled when he placed a discreet kiss to your shoulder.

Locking eyes with him, you grinned. The burst of happiness and content when he grinned back was almost unbearable, and in that moment you knew you never wanted whatever it was that you two shared to end.

It was a few days later when JJ showed up at your window, his face bloody and bruised, his form weak as he pulled himself into your bedroom. You didn't need to ask twice about who'd caused the damage, your body and mind going into autopilot as you hurried from your bed and grabbed hold of him, JJ grunting as he fell into you, his hand clutching desperately at his side.

"Shit, JJ," you'd cursed as you helped him land on your bed, hands instantly grabbing at his face and assessing the damage that had been left by his father. There was cuts along his brow line, his eye was bruised and already swollen shut, his bottom lip bust open and oozing blood. Your thumbs swiped along his cheeks, being careful of the injuries, and you felt tears pricking at your eyes at the sight of him. You blinked them away as quickly as you could, he didn't need to see you being so upset in that moment. And besides, you had bigger issues like getting him cleaned up like you had done too many times before. "Stay here, okay. I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."

JJ only grunted, and you pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to get the kit, your mind reeling. It was no secret about JJ's father and his years of abuse towards his own son, and you'd seen him beaten so badly so many times before, but it never got any easier. Each time it happened JJ would wound up at your house, and each time you would clean him up, making sure his wounds were tended to and making him as comfortable as possible as he slept next to you, most nights with his head resting on your chest as you soothed him to sleep with whispers of reassurance that you were there and that you loved him. He would fall asleep with tears staining his cheeks and you would cry yourself to sleep afterwards too, wishing that could just take away all his pain, wishing that you could do more, wishing that JJ had a better life than what he was given, because there was no-one that deserved it more.

You sniffed and forced your tears away, trying to focus on the task at hand. It didn't take long to locate the first aid kit and within a minute you were back in your bedroom, where JJ lay, staring up at your ceiling with his chest moving up and down in a motion that proved he was trying to hold his own tears in. Your heart broke at the sight, and you bit down on your wobbling lip as you moved towards him. His eyes met yours when you were close enough, stood in front of him on your bed. You smiled softly.

"Hey, honey," you soothed as he slowly sat up, grimacing at the obvious pain from his side as he did so. Despite his pain, he smirked back at you.

"Hi, baby."

Stepping closer, effectively between his legs, you smiled as his hands wound around and grabbed at your legs, almost as if he was grounding himself, focusing all his attention onto you. You took a moment to take him in as you pressed the wet rag you'd also grabbed on his face, beginning to clean the cut on his eyebrow. It wasn't too deep, thank god, you thought. You feared for the day where one cut might be too deep and one blow too strong, and the thought of JJ, strong and hot headed and impulsive and passionate, might not being able to drag himself out of the house of hell and getting to anyone for help, to you, to John B, to Pope or Kie, scared the shit out of you to put it simply. JJ was so strong, but there was only so much he could take, and you dreaded the day when that would come. You could only hope it never, and in the meantime do your best to prevent it. You let out a shaky breath as you continued to clean the blood from his face, gently dabbing at his torn lip as he hissed. "I'm sorry hon," you murmured, feeling your gut twist at the sight of him in pain.

"I'm okay," he breathed out, only it was shaky and you both knew it to be a lie. You said nothing though, not wanting to start an argument that night. You'd had countless in situations like these, where you'd tell him he needs to get away from his dad and he'd tell you its not that easy and that nothing fucking is on this island, and you'd try and tell him you understand that but you hate seeing him like that, beaten to a pulp, sometimes barely even able to move, and that you were scared to lose him. He'd tell you that you were too good for him, you deserved better, you deserved more, and you'd cry and tell him to shut up, that he was your best friend and all you ever needed and you'd always be there for him, and he would shake his head and deny it all with tears streaming down both your faces until you collapsed into each other and fell asleep with your limbs intertwined whatever mood you'd gone to sleep in. There was something about that night that told you not to argue, not to push him, just clean him up and hold him and let him know that he wasn't alone in this world. His eyes met yours once more. "I'm okay." He repeated, as if you hadn't heard him the first time.

All you could do was nod, and wiping the last bit of blood from his face, you quickly went over the cuts with disinfectant, JJ's grip tightening on the backs of your legs as you continued to tend to every last bit of him. Finishing on his face, you placed a kiss on each and every cut, bruise or scrape that was etched into his skin. He let out a shaky breath, one hand moving up and landing on your back, rubbing up and down as his forehead rested on your shoulder. Running your own hands through his blonde locks, you pressed your nose to the top of his head as you held him close to you. It wasn't long before you felt the tears soak through the material of your shirt (which was technically JJ's shirt, but that didn't matter much.) and his body started to shake against your own, chest heaving and hands shaking.

"I hate him," you heard him mutter. You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around him tighter, one hand clutching the back of his neck as the other rubbed soothing patterns onto his back. JJ shook against you, hands clutching onto the sides of your shirt as his lips brushed against the side of your neck as he let out a sob. "I just - I fucking hate him! Why does he do this, why does he -? Why, why, why?"

He was muttering the word over and over again, all sense of himself lost as he sobbed into your neck. In that moment, you felt so useless, so powerless, and you knew that JJ did too. You wished you could take away all his pain, make him see that he was so loved, that you loved him entirely and surely, but all you could do in that moment was hold him tight and screw your eyes shut as you cried along with him.

"He doesn't deserve you, J," you whispered into his hair. "He doesn't deserve you one bit. You're the best son, okay. You're the best friend, the best goddamned person on this island, on this planet! You're so loved, you hear me? You're so loved, babyboy. We all love you, I love you okay. I love you more than anything."

You'd said the words a million times before, but somehow in that moment, wrapped up in each other, JJ sobbing into your chest and you holding him like a person would a child, his ear resting against your heart where he could hear every little beat, his own matching the rhythm soon after - in that moment, _you both knew it meant more. That the friendly shared 'love you's' from so many times before were different to the ones now, and yet still neither of you spoke about it. You focused on JJ, giving him the comfort he so desperately needed. And JJ focused on you, focused on your heartbeat and the sound of your breathing and the soothing words you were whispering to him, and you had no clue as to what he was thinking; that he loved you, so fucking much. JJ Maybank didn't know what to do with that, to love someone so completely and honestly like he loved you, beyond the point of friendship and into the unknown territory of _in-love _absolutely _terrified him. But he knew it to be true, he was in love with you.

And as you forced him to take his shirt off so you could inspect the bruises surrounding his stomach and chest, laying a gentle kiss onto each and every one of them as he started at you with pure adoration in his eyes, he thought about your relationship - fears of you getting bored of him, wanting more than the island life and more than him, fears of you leaving him for something or someone simply more. Realising that he was no good like he'd always said, always suspected. But then you gazed at him with a certain glint in your eyes that he knew was reflecting in his own, and you were pressing your lips to his in a soft caress that dimmed all thoughts from his head and the question of 'are you bored yet?' fell flat on his lips as you ate them, chewed it up and spat it straight back out.

That conversation could come later, he supposed.

JJ's jaw clenched as he took in the sight of you, skin glowing in the late night sun that was slowly fading in the moons advance. The kegger had begun only an hour or so before, and yet the beach was filled with people already - varying of Pogues, Tourons and Kooks.

Among them all was you, red cup placed in your hands as you laughed at something the guy in front of you was saying, a small smile on the boys lips as he watched you. JJ felt something twist in his gut, suddenly feeling nauseous as he was stood a bit away from you, taking in the sight with malice in his blue eyes. He didn't know the guy that much was for sure, which could only mean one thing; he was definitely a Touron. That also probably meant that he was one of the few people at the party that didn't know JJ or anything of his reputation for being a bit too hot headed. JJ couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.

"Dude," John B slapped a hand on his shoulder, effectively snapping his trance at the pair across the beach. JJ turned towards his best friend, a smirk on John B's lips as their eyes met. "You're gonna poke holes into that guys head the way you're glaring at him man."

JJ rolled his eyes, his head once again moving to look back towards your figure. You didn't look mad at the attention the guy was giving you, and that sent a trail of fury in JJ's veins. "Who is that guy, man?" He asked instead of replying to John B's playful taunts. John B seemed to take note of that and simply shook his head. Fucking clueless, he thought.

"Dunno," John B replied as he took a swig of the beer in his hands. "Some Touron, probably." He glanced at his best friends face and noticed the glare darken in JJ's eyes. He suddenly shifted, blocking his view of you and the guy, ignoring JJ's grunt of displeasure at his move. "Don't start anything, J. Alright?"

JJ scoffed. "Me?" He chuckled darkly. "Nah man, you know I'd never start anything," he patted John B's chest twice. "I'm not the fighting type." JJ knew that John B could make out the sarcastic drawl to his words, and looking away from the brunette's eyes JJ was glancing back at you. His features shifted dramatically as he saw the guy take a step closer to your body, and despite the somewhat uncomfortable smile on your face you never seemed to object to the move. JJ felt the anger in his veins grow. "Fuck this!"

John B stopped him before he could take another step, shoving his chest so that he stumbled backwards. "Don't even think about it," JB warned. From afar, Pope seemed to take notice of the two and began to walk towards the seething blonde and his brunette best friend. "Pope, man tell him," John B practically pleaded as the most level headed of the group arrived at their side. It didn't take long for Pope to realise what the source of JJ's anger was, spotting you and the guy, completely oblivious to what was going on. "What are you planning on doing, huh?"

"He's all over her," JJ simply said - as if that was enough of an excuse for his anger. Pope and John B shared a glance. "I'm just gonna go over there and see if she's alright, alright?"

"Why do you care if he's all over her?" Pope raised his eyebrows. "You're not her boyfriend."

That faltered JJ's stance, and for a split second he looked away from you - still laughing, both hands gripping the cup in your hands, bikini clad top on full show for unwelcome eyes to wander. He clenched his jaw tighter, teeth clashing in his mouth, as he thought about Pope's words. Was it technically true; wasn't he your boyfriend? He didn't know - neither of you did. You hadn't spoken about anything, the changes in your relationship coming almost naturally so that neither of you cared to at first.

First, there was the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule. Second, there was something so deliciously thrilling about keeping your relationship from everyone else - no room for drama or prying eyes, or so he thought. But the unknown was beginning to scare him, and all he wanted was answers.

It was as if putting a label on what you both were would potentially put an end to everything, all the kissing, cuddling, secret touches, lingering looks, whispered endearments. The pair of you were too young for this shit, JJ thought. Thinking so hard about what you are or weren't. And god forbid you'd both come to regret it all; JJ couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

"I'm not gonna do anything," he said simply, and shoved his way past his friends before they could do anything else. He approached you, your eyes immediately catching his and a large grin overtaking the features of your face as he came closer. The guy seemed to notice your shift in attention and he turned too, eyes widening a bit at the sight of the blonde stood in front of him. JJ tried to smile naturally, his too sharp teeth secretly grinding together. "Hey," he chirped as if he was talking to an old friend. "How're you doing, man? I'm JJ."

You hid a laugh behind your hand, having no clue as to what JJ was trying to achieve but finding the obviously fake enthusiasm rather hilarious in that moment. Over his shoulder, you noticed John B and Pope watching with careful eyes, and everything seemed to click in your mind. _JJ was obviously planning on starting something. _You decided to get yourself and your somewhat boyfriend slash best friend out of the situation before anything could happen, the poor Touron didn't have a clue that you were kinda taken, to a fist throwing first ask questions later, tall blonde named JJ Maybank after all.

"It was nice talking to you, dude," you told the guy, his face dropping at the word dude. God, had he seriously wasted all that time flirting with you? You grabbed JJ's hand, only for him to tug it out of yours and place it around your shoulders, blue eyes sending daggers to the nervous boy on front of you. "We're gonna go now, I think."

And with that, you led the way away from him, not missing the way JJ's eyes swooped over the guy in an almost warning manner before smirking at him. Your hand reached up and fingers intertwined with those of JJ's that were sat rather comfortably near your breast. JJ's fingers squeezed yours in response, his arm tugging you closer before he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to the top of your head.

Once you were a good distance away from the party and its occupants on the beach, you turned in his arm, hand letting go of his to wrap both your arms around his waist. He kept the same arm around your shoulder and placed his other on your bare back between the high waist line of your shorts and the knot of your bikini, long fingers spacing out and rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.

You sighed as you looked at him. "What was that about?" You questioned, a small smile tugging on your lips regardless of the seriousness in your question as you demanded answers.

"That guy was all over you," JJ grunted, his eyes leaving yours to glare at the space where you stood a minute before talking to the said guy. "He was practically drooling all over you. I saved you, y'know. You should be thanking me, babe."

You laughed, and rolling your eyes you reached up to touch his face, thumb smoothing over the still darkened skin under his eye from the confrontation of his dad earlier that week. Leaning up on your toes, aware that nobody could see the action from the distance you and JJ were stood from the kegger, you pressed a kiss to the bruised skin, JJ's eyes closing at the feel of your lips against his skin, a soft exhale leaving his chest.

"Were you jealous, baby?" You teased gently, chuckling at his scoff in response to your accusation. "Relax, J. You don't have to be. I've only got eyes for you."

That seemed to catch his attention. JJ pulled away from you a bit, blue eyes suddenly serious and pink lips forming a tight line. For a second you worried you'd said something wrong, suddenly afraid that he would pull back completely and distance himself from you like you feared one day he would - it was only a matter of time before he realised what you had was a mistake, you worried. That he'd get bored of you and realise there was so many other people he could have. The thought alone made you sick, and you forced the intruding thoughts to the back of your head as JJ's eyes trailed over your face.

"What's wrong?" You couldn't take it anymore. The silence was deafening, even with the music and chatter of the teenagers behind you lingering in the night air. JJ seemed to get hold of his bearings at that moment, shaking his head and leaving a hand from your body to run through his hair. You watched him all the while, lip between your teeth. "J, what's wrong baby?"

JJ wished he had an answer, but he simply didn't. He had no idea what was wrong, no way of telling you the thoughts that were running through his mind. JJ had never been good with words, or emotions, or anything much like that at all. And so he just shook his head, sighing deeply as his hands caressed your face. You welcomed the touch, head leaning into his hold as he smiled down at you. You knew there was something he wanted to say to you; you had known him for so long, felt like all your life, and you could see right through his lies. However you never said a thing, once again. In that moment, it felt enough to just be by his side.

"Can we go?" He muttered quietly, despite no-one being around you. You smiled softly, eyes staring into each others there on the beach. "Just wanna go to sleep with you," he murmured that time, leaning down and kissing the side of your lips, not completely which had you grumbling quietly.

"Course, baby," you whispered as you looked at him, feeling nothing but adoration and love for the boy in front of you. "Let's go."

And so after kissing him under the moonlight, feet sunken in the damp sand as the sea splashed around you, the kegger still going strong in the distance, JJ took your hands and led the way back to the Chateau, where despite both your similar thoughts you crawled into bed in the spare bedroom and fell asleep together, your head resting on his chest with his cheek pressed against your head, arms wrapped around forms and legs intertwined.

It was hot, blistering heat panning down on your form as you lay on the hammock outside the Chateau, eyes closed with one arm resting over them in a fleeting attempt to block the sun out. Despite the unbearable temperature of the day, JJ lay in between your legs, perfectly muscular arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on your stomach that was covered only by one of his infamous cut-off sleeve shirts, only a bikini underneath it keeping you modest.

One of your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck, twirling the strands in between your fingers and repeating the process over and over again, JJ letting out a low him as you did so.

It was just the two of you, the quiet and peacefulness welcome on the hot day as you cuddled as close as you could and as much as you wanted, nothing off limits away from the prying eyes of your best friends. Both Kie and Pope were working, John B having traded your company for that of Sarah Cameron's for the day, and so that only left the pair of you to do anything and everything you pleased. JJ had let out a joyous whoop when you'd discovered the fact, and you'd only managed to get out of bed half an hour before as he took full advantage of having the Chateau to yourselves for the morning. The original plan was to go surfing, but as soon as you'd stepped out of the house the both of you seemed to come to a silent mutual agreement that lounging around in the sun on the porch was a much more welcoming idea instead.

And so that's what the pair of you had done; there was barely a word uttered between you both as you lay there, JJ's skin slightly sticky and damp on your own due to the heat, but neither of you seemed to mind as you simply closed your eyes and basked in the quiet, content with doing nothing with your favourite person.

JJ's hands had moved so that he was caressing your side, your skin revealed with the low cut of his shirt as his thumb rubbed patterns into your skin. In its wake it left goosebumps, JJ's touch never failing to make you shiver even in all the years you had known him. He knew what effect he had on you too, he smirked as you shivered, his other hand squeezing the flesh of your hip.

You trailed your own hands down from his hair and onto the exposed flesh of his back as he lay shirtless, and you could feel the muscles under your palms clench as you let out a small giggle. JJ chuckled along, although he'd had no idea as to what it was you were laughing at in the first place. The sound of your laugh just made him happy, he supposed.

"What're you laughing at?" He murmured quietly, chin propping on your stomach and his eyes squinting up at you. He'd moved a hand down to your thigh, now kneading the flesh there as his other remained on your side and wrote unknown words into the skin there. You grinned down at him lazily, the sun and his charming aura making you feel high. Then again, you probably were high; the blunt you'd both shared a couple of minutes earlier taking its toll.

"Nothing," you hummed. "Just really, really fucking happy right now s'all."

JJ laughed, laying a kiss onto your stomach and loving the way you giggled at the action. He pressed more there, letting out dramatic sounds of various 'mwah's' as he trailed them up further until his lips were on the skin on your collarbone, continuing his assault onto your neck. JJ's tongue darted out, and your giggles had soon turned into breathy moans of approval as he sucked on the skin, his sharpened teeth sinking into the flesh not long after. You gripped the back of his neck, fingernails digging into his hairline as your sounds of pleasure rippled through the air surrounding you without a care in the world. In that moment you couldn't care less if anyone had caught you - all that mattered was JJ, all that ever mattered was JJ. He sucked gently on your flesh, adding to the bruises that already littered your chest, stomach, thighs, anywhere he could get his mouth earlier. You both knew questions would be asked from the others, in the high temperatures of the Outer Banks your skin was almost always revealed. But again, neither of you cared.

Not when JJ's mouth left your skin with a satisfying pop, his eyes taking in the sight of the freshly bruised flesh, a content smile on his lips. He leaned down and peppered a kiss to the lovebite, soothing his tongue over it afterwards. You let out a sigh, suddenly breathless under his heated gaze.

JJ shuffled his body up and closer, one leg in between yours as his right hand came up and held your face tenderly in his palm, the rough skin of his thumb swiping along your brow as he grinned cheekily down at you. "You're fucking beautiful y'know that?"

Your cheeks blazed, an almost embarrassed laugh leaving your mouth and you shook your head at his words. JJ looked offended suddenly, his brows furrowing as he nodded furiously. "Um, yes you are. Don't you dare say that you're not because you're, fucking, beautiful, okay," between each word he left lingering kisses to your lips with his own, and you knew it was probably the weed in his system that had spurred him to such a romantic confrontation, but you welcomed it regardless, giggling against his lips as one leg hooked around his waist. "Fucking god, you keep doing that and we won't be moving from this hammock all day."

"I'm not complaining about that," you replied and pressed your lips harder to his. JJ let out a groan, his body impulsively pushing down further onto yours, his hips directly on yours, chests pressed close together, his arm holding him up enough near your head so he didn't suffocate you completely, his other kneading the soft flesh of your bikini bottom clad ass. Your own hands caressed the skin of his abdomen, fingers sprawled and feeling his abs tense underneath the tips. You pulled away only slightly, taking in the sight of his flushed face, his eyes bright and yearning, flashing with something you couldn't quite place and his lips swollen and so very red. "Thank you, by the way." You whispered as you reached up and pushed the hair from his face. "You're pretty beautiful yourself, hon."

JJ seemed to understand what you were getting at then, his chest heaving with a chuckle as he shook his head at you. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your nose, returning his head to snuggle into your neck as you were once again wrapped around each other. "Thanks, I know," he joked (possibly) as his hands resumed their pattern of soothing shapes on your ribs. You hummed a random tune, the calming atmosphere returning around the pair of you on the porch. It was quiet for a few more minutes, your eyes closing involuntarily and almost falling asleep right then and there before JJ spoke up again. "You're my best friend, y'know."

The words were so quiet you almost missed them, but with the silence surrounding you, you'd heard them loud and clear. Your eyes opened and you glanced down at the boy laying atop of you, his face hidden in the skin of your neck.

"I would hope so," you laughed slightly, having no clue as to where JJ was planning on going with the fact. "You're my best friend too. I'd be lost without you and the guys."

"No," JJ shook his head. He shifted in his place, eyes connecting with yours as you sent him a questioning look, quirking your eyebrow. JJ sighed deeply, sucking his lower chapped lip into his mouth for a second before releasing it and allowing your finger to trace the outline of it. "You don't get it. You're like, my best friend. I know it sounds stupid and I'm probably a selfish fucker for saying it, but I'd put you above everyone else. You are above everyone else. And like, I don't know how else to explain it but you mean the fucking world to me. Without you, I'd be nothing. If I lost you, I'd fucking die."

His voice broke at the end, and it damn near broke your heart as you hushed him gently, arms circling around his head and holding it close to your chest. You kissed his forehead, hearing him sniffle before he raised his head and met your eyes, the sea blue crystallised by unshed tears.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life, and I just - I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm scared honestly, shit fucking feared of losing you, or you realising that I'm just a no good low life and you could do better, and honestly you could and I don't even know what the fuck you're doing with me," JJ chuckled darkly and you shook your head, feeling tears prick at your own eyes at his words. "And I don't even know if you want to be with me, or if what we're doing is some mistake you're gonna regret, but you're my best friend."

The earnest in his voice made your heart clench in your chest. You'd seen JJ cry numerous times, seen his facade break and his world around him to crash, seen the emotions pour out of him with so much force whether they be happy, sad, fucking hysterical or ecstatic; and you'd loved him through it all. The realisation of just how much you loved him, that went beyond friendship and into pure, earnest and genuine love for the boy in front of you, made your head swirl and butterflies in your stomach to clash heavily against your ribcage. Something warm spread throughout you, and you welcomed the feeling with open arms. You loved JJ Maybank, purely and honestly, with every fibre in your being.

"J," you murmured carefully, gripping his damp cheeks and forcing him to look at you. His face was unreadable, but you could see in his eyes what he was feeling in that moment. "You're fucking crazy, alright? Everything about you is so damned chaotic and I love every bit of it. I love every bit of you, so much. Do you know how scared I was that you would take all this back? Regret it all, leave me for someone better. I was scared shitless, because I cannot lose you. You're my best friend, and all I wanna do is spend all my time with you."

"I've never felt like this before," you whispered as JJ's gaze softened, hands gripping your hips and squeezing gently. You traced the worry in his brows, easing it away, traced the bottoms of his eyes, the slope of his nose and the outline of his lips. He breathed against your fingertips, the soft exhale making the hairs on your arms raise. "I love you, J. And if you think you're ever gonna get rid of me, you're terribly fucking mistaken."

JJ chuckled at that, blonde head falling on your chest as he breathed in and out, seemingly catching his breath at your confession. "Thank god," he breathed, cheeky gaze raising to catch yours as he grinned, suddenly surging forward and catching your lips with his own in a deep and passionate embrace that had you feeling dizzy at the pure feel of it all. "I was scared you were gonna tell me to fuck off, thought you were using me for my body for a minute there, babe."

You full on laughed, breaking away from his eager lips to let it out, your hands clutching his cheeks and your legs squashing his body atop yours from where they were wrapped around his waist. "You're such a fucker, J." He kissed along your jaw in response, biting down softly. "God, that weed must have been some new level shit."

"Nah," JJ shook his head and grinned. "You just drive me crazy, babygirl." His hands wandered from your ribs higher till his fingertips just slipped under the material of your bikini top. He pressed a further series of tender kisses to your chest, trailing them down and then back up to meet your lips once more. He gazed lovingly at you, looking golden in the sunlight. "I love you too, by the way. Just so y'know."

You grinned softly, catching his bottom lip with your teeth when he began to pull away, pulling a delicious groan from him. "I know," you echoed back to him, lips raising on their own accord to match JJ's almost shy smile at your declaration. "Hey, can we stay home today? Wanna watch the sunset with you later."

JJ snorted, laying one last lingering kiss to your lips before snuggling back into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your delicate skin. "Whatever you want baby," he chuckled, breath warm. "Whatever you want."

Yours and JJ's (now established, thankfully) relationship only progessed from there; it was in the little things, spending every moment you could get with each other, always touching in some kind of way whether it to be hands curled around one another's, fingers dancing on skin, shoulders and arms brushing, legs squished beside each other. It was all new, and it was all so exciting, and any worries that the two of you may had shared earlier vanished and in their wake came new thoughts of the future, of which you'd spend together.

If the gang had noticed the change, they hadn't mentioned it. Though you already knew Kie suspected something a long time ago, and probably Pope and John B too, due to JJ's little episode at the kegger that time. But you and JJ rejoiced in the unknown, relationship growing stronger each day all the while. You weren't trying to hide it - god forbid, you'd both been waiting so long for it, but you hadn't officially announced you were boyfriend and girlfriend either. There wasn't anything to say, you thought. The relationship came naturally, years of close friendship gradually turning into something more for the pair of you, and you'd both agreed it would be way funnier for the gang to come to their own conclusions and confront you about it themselves. However long that would take them.

The Pogues had driven the HMS Pogue out to the marsh, planning on drinking, swimming and simply hanging out for the day. Sarah had joined you on that particular day, body pressed close to John B's as the group lounged around on the boat, you and JJ wrapped around each other as usual.

His muscular arm was wrapped around your shoulders as you sprawled out close together, your legs thrown over his as your body angled towards his own, head resting on his shoulder. Your hands held the one thrown over you, absentmindedly playing with his ring adorned fingers. His other gripped your knee laying over his, thumb rubbing gentle patterns into the tanned skin there.

Nobody had mentioned your closeness - it was nothing new, the pair of you had always been so close, always touching even before becoming a couple. But Sarah wasn't as close with you as the others, and though she was aware of how close you and JJ were, she wasn't as up to date with everything like everyone else. You'd had no idea that she always just assumed the pair of you were dating, until that day.

"So, you guys are like, a couple right?" She'd asked out of the blue, eyes directed onto you and JJ. Kie suddenly sat up straight, sunglasses raising to rest atop her head rather than on her nose, Pope beside her seemingly taking as much interest, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he listened.

From beside Sarah, John B laughed and shook his head. "Everyone thinks that," he grinned, looking to you and JJ who shared a knowing glance. Sarah looked at him in confusion. "They can't help it though, their sexual tension is through the roof."

Sarah looked even more confused. "Wait, so you guys aren't together?"

JJ cleared his throat, arm tightening around your shoulders. You squeezed his hand as you stared up at him, smiling softly at his uncertain gaze. Once he'd met your eyes, the uncertainty faded away and in its place came a cheeky kind of look, mischievous and so attractive that you had to hold yourself back from kissing him right then and there. You knew it was time to come clean; and you thought it would scare you, your relationship suddenly becoming so real, but the thought only made your insides twist and churn with nothing but excitement.

You looked back at Sarah, who's gaze was still on the pair of you, as well as everyone elses. You noted the almost giddy expression on Kie's face, the barely suppressed curiosity on Pope's, and the suddenly confused one of John B's. You almost laughed, but held it in to say, "Actually, yeah. JJ and I are together."

JJ squeezed you gently as the reactions from your friends began. Kie grinned smugly, Sarah smiled at the two of you, John B raised his eyebrows so high they almost got lost beneath his hat, and Pope slapped his knees before he lurched backwards with his arms raised above his head.

"I knew it, man," Pope shook his head, though a smile was growing on his handsome features. "I knew something's been up with you two."

You laughed as Kie scoffed, "You knew? I had it figured out from the very beginning, I could tell something had changed." She eyed you. "And I was specifically told that nothing was going on, you big fat liar!"

"I'm sorry," you chuckled. "In my defence, when you asked me about it then I actually didn't know if we were like, together together. We hadn't spoken about it yet."

JJ grinned and pulled your body closer, leaning down and pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of your head as your face was mushed into his bare chest. "Yeah, and who can blame her for wanting to keep my Sex God body all to herself?" He asked rhetorically, laughing when you slapped him on the chest with a playful eye roll.

"Wait, so are you a couple now?" John B questioned, puzzled. He looked between the pair of you, your arms wrapped around his waist, one of his still around your shoulder and hand resting between your boobs. The other brushed hair from your face, JJ's gaze loving and soft as he looked down at you before looking back towards his best friend. John B scrunched his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't tell anyone man," JJ shrugged carelessly. His fingers had began to play with your hair. "Figured it would be funnier for you guys to find out yourselves," he grinned. "So congratulations, you guys now know. Your reward is the knowledge that we fuck now!"

The gang groaned at his ludicrous words, and you slapped his chest with more force than you had before, just slightly as you scoffed and attempted to raise your head and move position to get a good look at him, but all JJ did was grab your hand and pull it upwards to his lips, kissing each of your knuckles instead.

You rolled as your eyes as you turned back to your friends. "We're sorry about not telling you," you said almost sheepishly. "We only really figured out what this was between us a few days ago, and by that time we just kinda forgot to mention it. This whole thing just kinda happened, we didn't know if it would last or become serious."

"And it has become serious now?" Pope voiced everyone's thoughts, glancing between the two of you. "Like, you're together as a couple. You love each other?"

You and JJ shared a look, the pair of you smiling softly as your hand raised and brushed the blonde strands of hair that fell over his brow, his own reaching up and holding the side of your jaw, his thumb swiping along your cheek lovingly. The others shared glances, unknown to you and JJ as you seemed to be lost inside your own little world for a moment.

When you came to again, you never turned from his eyes, watching the sea blue irises light up at your words; "Yeah, I love him, the fucker."

You heard a collective round of replies, but the feel of JJ's lips on yours for a second forced your attention on him and only him, your hands on his cheeks as you held him there for a full minute before pulling away, leaving a couple more little pecks on his lips. He whispered, "I love you." before he turned his attention to your friends, your smile so bright.

"I thought she'd get bored of me," he revealed unexpectedly. The Pogues (plus Sarah) all looked to him with various expressions of confusion, your own face matching theirs for a moment. JJ felt a smile tug on his lips as your hands massaged his scalp, nails scraping gently against the skin beneath. "But of course she couldn't, I mean I'm the fucking best am I not?"

The gang rolled their eyes as his normal cheeky expression returned, though they all smiled at the pair of you cuddled close together on the seats of the HMS Pogue, realising it was the happiest they'd ever seen the both of you. John B let out a sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, it's about time anyway."

And just like that, everything went back to normal. You knew they'd have more questions in the future, prepared to answer any and every one of them when they came. But your little group swayed their attention elsewhere sat out on their little boat, laughing and joking at the next topic of conversation, bright eyes and giddy smiles on every face as you drank, swam and sunbathed out there on the marsh. JJ was only looking at you though, skin golden and blue eyes shining. You loved him, you thought. How could he ever think you'd get bored of him, with his charm and quick witted words, sarcastic drawl and tendency to get into trouble, his obsession with weed and putting others before himself always, his beautiful mind and ridiculously good looks to match. He was yours, all yours. And you loved him. JJ grinned. "Are you bored yet?" He asked, just once, loving the sound of your giggle as you shook your head at his antics. "No? Good, because I'm never gonna get bored of you."

[fonulyn]

just because i love your opinions and hate the lack of details from capcom i need to knkw- what do you think bsaa agents do when not deployed on a mission? what the fuck does their job look like on a average day? maybe the 'standard' soldiers actually get full time off (save for meetings/training etc) until they're called for another deployment but chris, a captain... he must have a bigger work load even when at home. thoughts anyone?

lmao i haven't got the faintest clue tbh. so everything I say from now on is just... guesswork? :'D

but like, they have to keep fit and they have to stay practiced? so I'd guess that there's a lot of that to fill their days. keeping fit, and learning and honing all the skills they need out there.

so, gym and whatever else they need to stay in the fit enough physical condition to actually do their job, you know. shooting range, because it's kind of important to hit the target lol. gun maintenance, probably learning about different kinds of weapons as the tech progresses. maybe learning to handle different vehicles, different communicators and the sort. field first aid! definitely first aid.

there is a part in Marhawa Desire that shows Piers sparring with Merah and helping her train hand-to-hand combat, so probably that, too. sparring and practicing idk maybe different fighting styles?

but i'd also like to think it's not only limited to the physical and technical skills. like. information on the kinds of BOWs that have already been encountered? weak spots, ways to take them down, maybe some basic chemistry bc they do deal with labs a lot. a lot of them would probably be bored out of their minds in the seminar of the week on how to take down an el gigante but it'd be useful. i am an educator i believe in knowledge :'D

and there is bound to be paperwork. as with any organization. and that would definitely fall on Chris (plus other captains and up), or perhaps Piers (and the like), but not the actual line soldiers that much. where there's an organization, there's always bureaucracy. so boring paperwork, definitely.

and if they do have time to prepare for a mission then there'd be ofc meetings and briefings for that. sometimes they'll most definitely need to just go in and see what's up, but some missions probably do get at least a little bit of preptime.

hmmmhm what else. they will definitely have free days, too, like if they're on a mission they'll be compensated afterwards with free time instead of being thrown on back-to-back missions for years with no breaks so yes, what you said, definitely free time too!

idk if that's everything i'm tired and incoherent :'D but yeah. thoughts, anyone?

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List Pt.4

Word Count: 7.2k

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy's life, not knowing that he is the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Trigger warnings: DESCRIPTION OF PANIC ATTACK!! I really took my time with writing this, trying my hardest to convey these feelings without being triggering. I also tried to make it as comforting as possible, but if you are feeling a little anxious maybe save this fic for a better day. Mental health first!  

Additional warnings: mentions of violence, explicit language, mentions of death,

Genre: Romance, angst, violence, gang/mafia AU, 

Rating: 18+  (bc of mentions of violence there’s no sexual content)

<- Pt.3

"Hobi, I don't wanna be mad. I just wanna know the truth,” you pleaded, voice wavering. And that was the truth, you felt like you could care less if he was in a gang. It was Alcorn, you had to be in a gang to survive if you weren't rich.

Upon seeing your eyes water and your lip tremble, Hoseok instantly wished you would scream at him. He didn't want to hurt you. He didn't mean for it to go this far. For you two to get so close after his sister's death, or for him to lie to you for so long. He told himself he kept you out of it for your safety, but really it was just too easy for him to live two lives, for you to look at him like he wasn't a murderer and for him to pretend for a few hours that he wasn't. 

He sighed, sitting on the couch, and you plopped down next to him and waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. 

"I guess it's best to start at the very beginning, which was when I was around 16," he started. 

"I lived in the same neighborhood as these two guys RM and Suga. They had actually served some time for getting busted with another gang, the Dime Lions, they're long gone now but basically, some shit went down during some kind of gang raid, and RM and Suga ended up taking the fall for it. Instead of the Dime Lions busting them out of jail, they left them there and basically disowned them afterward."

You nodded along to let him know you were following. 

"Anyways RM and Suga, they had a rough start when they got out of the gang, both were bastards, street rats on the Westside they never had anyone to look out for them. So they did the only thing they could do at the time to survive, which was breaking it to cars and shit and cleaning them out. I don't just mean personal belongings of these guys took engine parts, piping, tiers they took it all, and sold it to any scrap shops they could find. At the time, I was working at my uncle's scrapyard. I knew RM and Suga when they were in middle school before they joined the Dime Lions. They stayed with the foster family that lived in my neighborhood. I knew they had been kicked out of the house and were basically living with the Lion's, so when I saw they were working alone, I got curious. For a year or so, I convinced my uncle to continue buying from them even when he started getting a little suspicious about the guys stealing. The guys knew I looked out for them, and we were cool for a while. Then my mom got sick," he paused for a moment looking away from you.

You reached out and placed your hand on his leg knowing how hard it was for him to talk about his mom and Dawon. 

Collecting himself, Hoseok went on, "So I asked for an in with the guys, I needed money and I knew cars. I could remove the parts more effectively than they could. I also knew some clientele who were always coming by and buying parts because they flip cars for fun, those guys were easy targets. So I guess the three of us were a little gang of misfits for a while, I used the money to help pay for mom's treatment. They used the money to survive.

Then we started taking some younger ones under our wing. RM and Suga got their own place and opened their doors to some kids in a rough spot like they were. But as we got bigger, we started getting sloppy. We had been at it for about a year at this point. The guys started taking on some other jobs, but I stuck to what I did best. I wasn't really interested in broadening my horizons. Like I said, we had been at it for a while, and I got cocky, I guess. We had a few scuffles here and there, but we always got out of them okay. Then one night, we got busted scraping a car at some guy's house, and he shot me in the leg, and the cops got me. RM ended up bailing me out of jail, and Suga, Suga got me a gun." 

He shifted in his seat and looked at you nervously, "I wanted out at this point, mom was basically on her deathbed, and I was all Dawon had. I couldn't risk going to jail, ya know. I owed RM money for bail, but my uncle got me a job as an actual mechanic, I thought I could earn money the honest way, pay them back and then Dae and I could just go back to our lives. But then the doctors told us about some experimental treatment that could possibly cure mom. How the hell could I pass that up? I would have done anything to help her get better." his brows furrowed as he tightened his fist into balls.

 "So I stayed. At this point, BTS was growing, it was an official gang, tattoo and all. We had recruited Jin, who came from money, he used some of his trust fund to fund BTS and help us grow, and RM was starting to get a little ambitious. He wanted territory, he wanted me to take the tattoo and be his third." Hobi squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a sigh, he felt like he had to force the words out of him to confess his sins to you. 

"I told you Suga got me a gun after the arrest, and it ended up I'm a really good shot, so good I didn't even have to kill a guy for a long time. I researched where to shoot to keep someone down for a long while without it being fatal, so that's what I did. I worked a few more jobs for RM, we did a big heist. Actually, that was our big break. A team of six other guys and I broke into this old rich dude's mansion, nearly cleaned out his safe when we split the money most of the guys put a percentage into my pot. I walked out that night with almost enough to pay for mom's treatment in full. 

I told RM I wouldn't be his third, and he offered me an out, I just needed to take one more job for him, and he would pay out the rest of mom's bills, so that's what I did. I killed for the first time, and then I was free. I wouldn't have to do any of it again. Well, that's what I intended," he paused, his voice growing softer. 

You tried to keep your face neutral as he revealed the horrors to you. Not that it mattered Hoseok couldn't even bring himself to look at you.

"Mom ended up passing that night." he laughed, a bitter sound that felt foreign to the kind man you knew, "I swear whatever cruel god is out there pulling all the strings did it to punish me. To let me know, they saw what I had become and that I didn't deserve to have people I love in my life. I wasn't good enough to feel love in this world," 

"Hobi, that's not-" he cut you off with a bitter laugh as he looked upwards to hold back his tears. The motion made him seem as though he was searching for the fates he mocked. "Don't y/n, I know what I am,"

"Dae was a senior when mom passed, and it absolutely broke her. I had to fight to get her to go to school for those last few months. Hell, it was a fight to get her out of bed for her graduation. Her exit exams were a disaster, and the councilors at the college were understanding, for the most part. They still admitted her to the school, but not a drop of financial aid was offered to her. She deserved so much more," Hobi's voice was laced with bitter disdain, his eyes looking far off. 

"So I did everything I could to give it to her. I borrowed from Namjoon, enough to cover her entire admission at Alcorn University."

"Hobi, that's so much," you couldn't hold the comment in. It was near impossible for an ordinary person to buy their way into Alcorn if they didn't get scholarships, the tuition at the prestigious school was over $20,000 a semester for admission alone. 

"And I did it, I had Jin make up a fake scholarship for her, send her a cute little letter telling her about the award. She thought that she earned a full ride, and I let her believe it. I even borrowed enough so she would stay in the dorms, I figured it would be safest to keep her out of the house. I didn't know what kind of jobs RM was going to have me do."

"I took the tattoo, and killing became more of a normal thing for me. It started to get easier, I kept my distance and tried my hardest to not even see their eyes. 

There was a big turf war that year. I don't know, the city was on the brink of a recession, a lot of big players in the city were changing the rules of the game. Business owners fought to take down other businesses simply so theirs could stay open, the market was a disaster. I never cared about the politics of any of it, I just did what I was told, and because of that, I'm still not totally sure all I did that year. What lives I took. Who all I hurt. I did everything I could to forget those nights and the blood. I told myself I was doing it for a good reason, ya know. 

I didn't want to know, I thought I would save that for the day I'm standing outside of hell, and they list off every single one of my evil deeds before they sentence their judgment." Hoseok's vacant eyes started to shine with tears.

 "And that was the stupidest fucking thing I could have ever done. I had no clue who had it out for me, I had started feeling invincible. I didn't even consider that someone would want to take their revenge, I had killed Kim Martin Sr.'s son." 

Your blood chilled at the name, and he didn't look at you as he continued.

"He was some big business owner or something, I was supposed to kill him, but there was a mix-up, and I got his son, Kim Martin Jr. instead. Whoever made the call decided that killing his son was just as effective because the grief practically destroyed him. A few misguided stock investments, while he was grieving, crashed his empire. He lost everything and had to move to the Westside in the aftermath. 

Suga kept good tabs on the guy, but then he fell off the grid. We figured he left town or hell maybe he died. We didn't consider him a threat, he showed no interest in coming after BTS, so I didn't even think to keep an eye out for Dawon."

You felt hot tears roll down your face as you realized what happened. The media painted Martin as the bad guy. They accused him of losing his business after his son died due to extreme drug abuse. The city officials wrote him off as such a pathetic low life, that come the time of his death that his murder was barely investigated. It was simply declared a drug deal gone wrong. But he was a father, a father who lost everything to a hitman and wanted to return the favor. 

Hoseok believed he didn't deserve love. Whatever higher power that was calling the shots took everything away from him as punishment. 

You think of your best friend now long passed, her beautiful smile and contagious laugh. The way she could always read you and knew exactly what you needed, whether it be your favorite ice cream on your period or a trip to the botanical gardens in the middle of the night when she knew you were missing home a bit more than normal.

There was a loose glass in the greenhouse that hosted the plants native to your home. You would both scale the fence to the gardens late at night and push that glass panel in and carefully crawl into the greenhouse. The air would be filled with the floral scents you grew up with, and you would just walk the rows of plants and run your fingers over the velvet petals and waxy leaves. 

Until Dawon would play music, a playlist the two of you made of songs in your native tongue. You would dance around the humid greenhouse singing on the top of your lungs while Dawon would laugh and clap along, excitedly shouting with you when she recognized a word or two. 

You thought about the way you and Hoseok both carried a burden of guilt after she passed. Until now, you had felt like you failed her as a best friend and roommate. 

For three years, you had tortured yourself with thoughts like if you hadn't procrastinated so much on your assignments that week, you would have been home when she decided to make a late snack run. You told yourself the robber probably wouldn't have stopped her if you were together. You reasoned that two of you would have deterred her as a target. 

Or maybe he would have just shot you instead. Dawon would have recovered from the loss so much better, she had Hoseok to comfort her and family and friends to support her. You were merely an exchange student in a city with no morals, loved by no one, but taken in out of guilt by her brother. It would've been a better trade. 

You tortured yourself with these thoughts day and night consumed with feelings similar to survivor's guilt.

You never understood Hoseok's guilt, until tonight, you felt like there was nothing he could have done to make that night play out differently. But now you realize he could have anything, and it might have made a difference. 

"Y/n, I understand if you hate me," Hoseok said softly, watching the tears that dripped down your cheek as you processed everything he told you.

"I wanted to honor Dawon's wish. I didn't expect you to do so much for me, for you to become my best friend and for you to make me feel normal. I kept this from you because you were the closest thing to her I had left. There was a time where I thought I would distance myself from you when you moved out. That I would just become another hazy detail to the tragedy, and you would move on completely with your life, but y/n you were so sad, and you needed me too. 

When you moved out, I was terrified of something happening to you. I couldn't stop myself from checking up on you. I couldn't let us grow apart." Hoseok's voice broke off as you looked at him, the pain and betrayal in your eyes.

 "Y/n, you're the closest thing I have to redemption, protecting you, being your friend is the last thread of humanity I have left, I can't lose you," he pleaded. 

"You watched me blame myself," you whispered accusingly, your eyes shining with betrayal. 

"You watched me tear myself apart, and used comforting me to make you feel better about yourself?" 

He flinched at your words, "I tried everything I could to convince you there was nothing you could have done," Hobi argued feebly. 

"Everything but tell the truth," you hissed as hot tears rolled down your cheek. 

You got up as a sob escaped you, your face red and snot running from your nose. Hoseok stood with you, but you flinched away with a broken no.

 "I need time, Hoseok," you begged. 

You swallowed thickly as you did everything in your power to keep it together, "I don't want to hate you, but please, I need time to think about everything," you assured. Even knowing what he did, he was right. You needed him too. If you lost him, you truly didn't have anyone in the city who cared if you lived or died tomorrow. And maybe settling for that made you your own kind of monster. 

It was funny how he claimed such a tarnished person could be his redemption. 

You secure your bag to your shoulder, stepping out into the night air and pulling the door closed behind you. You couldn't even bring yourself to lock the door behind you, afraid that if you stopped moving for one second that you would completely break down and be unable to make it home. You only hoped Hoseok was smart enough to check the door behind you and make sure to lock it. 

You counted the stairs as you made your descent and into the parking lot, making an effort to take in your surroundings. You tried to list off the colors of the cars as you passed them, and while some distant part of you did the action, you still felt like the effort wasn't reaching whatever corner of your brain you were hiding in. 

You got a lot better with controlling your anxiety attacks as you made it further in college, even going as far as taking advantage of the university's free therapy sessions to get professional guidance in your junior year. You defaulted to your go-to grounding technique as your feet moved of their own accord to carry you home. 5,4,3,2,1 was an exercise that made you aware of your surroundings and tether yourself to this world when your mind felt a dimension away. 

The technique walked you through your five senses, making you list off 5 things you could see, 4 things you could feel, 3 things you could hear, two things you could smell, and one thing you could taste. Even in your most anxious moments, you were a slut for making a good list. You always found this exercise more soothing than any breathing technique. 

Your eyes searched without really seeing as you tried to find five things you could see around you. Straining yourself to really take in your surroundings, you settled for a yellow fire hydrant, a car parked on the side of the road, a penny on the ground, a drainage inlet tucked into the curb, and finally your own yellow shoes pacing down the concrete sidewalk. 

You were going to be okay, you reminded yourself as you took an intentional breath. 

Next, four things you can touch, you focused on your breathing as you reached an arm out to graze your fingertips along with the rough brick of the building you walked by.

You shifted a little more with each step, concentrating on how the fabric of your clothes moved across your skin and curling your toes into the padding of your shoes. You didn't count each feeling, your wandering mind struggling to really take in each sensation, but you were sure you touched four things by now.

This was a mistake you often caught yourself making when counting down like this. Sometimes you were in such a rush to reach the end and get to one as if identifying one taste would magically make all your anxieties go away that you forget to take it slow and really center yourself. 

Three things you can hear, it was at the time, as you strained to let the world in through the all-consuming pounding of your heart in your ears, that you realized you were whimpering to yourself slightly. The awareness of your own vulnerability made you stumble as your mind spiraled, and you struggled to find something to tether you back to the earth. 

You began walking faster before realizing you're not certain you were going the right way. So you came to a halt, realizing you couldn't bring yourself to focus enough to take in your surroundings. You stared at the street sign for a long time, repeating the letters to yourself as you made them form a word finally settling on Gardenia. 

Your breathing hitched as you realized you had wandered off the main streets and into a neighborhood in your daze. You were lost, but you couldn't bring yourself to care about it, and the lack of fear flashed an alarm in your mind that let you know you were too far gone to count away your anxieties.

You struggled to breathe as you tried to come up with a decision. You needed to ground yourself to calm down. You needed to list off 5 things you could see, fourth things you could feel, three things you could hear, two things you could smell, and one thing you could taste. You knew the only way to bring yourself back to the world was to become aware of your settings. 

But it felt as if the part of your brain that knew all these things didn't even touch whatever part of your mind was controlling you now. You were better off giving directions to the light pole you stood under. 

You felt your breathing get harder as you desperately gasped in all the air you could. Your arms and legs began to tingle as your body over oxidized, and your head began to spin. 

Slowly you slumped to the ground, wrapping your arms around the light pole you had stopped under as you spiraled. 

What were you even doing before this moment? How did you even get here? You forced your eyes open wide, hoping the action would make you actually see and register what you were looking at to no avail. 

What were you doing, what were you doing, what were you doing?

You struggled to reign in your thoughts of your laughing best friend and her crying brother. Or was it your crying best friend and his dead sister? 

You were supposed to find three things you could hear. Your crying doesn't count. A more logical voice seemed to get through to you. 

You strained your ears to hear past your own breathing, you could hear a frog croaking in the grass nearby, you felt the earth beneath you to confirm you had in fact settled in a patch of grass. You smiled to yourself proud of your progress as you continued to listen as you continued to listen. You heard the electricity buzzing in the light pole you had wrapped your arms around, you felt almost childlike as you opened your eyes. Actually, seeing this time as you looked up at the pole, you were around. 

You needed one more sound, you strained your ears, expecting to be met with something like a far off car driving by. Instead, you heard your name being called. You blinked as you turned away from the street lamp and towards the repeating sound of a familiar set of syllables coming from a familiar voice. 

Jungkook jogged up to as he saw you curled around a lamppost. Even from a distance, he could see the rapid way your chest was rising and falling in that familiar chaotic rhythm he only saw when he found Taehyung or Yoongi having a panic attack. You looked up at him with a tear-stained face and saw the confusion of his presence take you off guard and snap whatever control you had over yourself. 

Your face crumpled as a sob broke from your chest, and you turned away from him and curled yourself around the light pole a little tighter. 

Jungkook felt such a rush of guilt and panic at the sight of you so broken that he ignored the dull ache in his knees as he instinctively fell down in the grass next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you from the cold metal pole, trying to position comfortably in his chest. 

Jungkook shifted as he uncurled his legs from beneath his body and stretched them out next to yours in front of him, trying to touch as much of his body to you in comfort. You didn't resist, but the jolting motions did seem to make you more upset for a short moment. Jungkook realized he forgot to ask for permission to touch you before he acted. 

He knew Tae preferred physical comfort to calm down, but sometimes it could act more as a trigger when unwelcomed. He loosened his grip hesitantly, and you wrapped your arms around his middle, hugging him closer to you in response. 

Physical contact is. He thought to himself as he began stroking one hand up and down your back and rocking you both side to side slightly as if he was trying to calm a baby from a tantrum. 

Which he basically was doing, you thought bitterly to yourself as you accepted the comfort.

You were too far gone to calm yourself down. You had ridden the river of upsetting thoughts that triggered your attack all the way down, and now you risked floating out to sea and losing yourself forever. Not actually forever, just until you would cry yourself unconscious and wake up to start anew. But you supposed accepting comfort was better than sleeping outside in a neighborhood you didn't know. 

Jungkook whispered to you, not the sweet nothings people typically say when they see people break down like 'it's going to be okay,' or most annoyingly 'breath.' No Jungkook simply told you, 'you're safe,' 'take your time,' 'you're stronger than you give yourself credit for' and in your case most importantly, 'exhale.' 

When people see you having a panic attack and hear the loud gasp you make as you fight to breathe, they instinctively tell you to breathe as a way to calm down. But it's your failure to let the air out that keeps your body over oxidized, making it harder for you to feel in control of yourself. 

Slowly, you regained control of your body, and your desperate gasps for air morphed into shallow panting. Your shallow breathing morphed into soft whimpers and sniffled. Jungkook held you as your continuous knit itself together, and you faced the pain your mind was so desperate to escape.

He rubbed you back as you let out soft sobs as you reopened wounds that had healed into jagged scars. You cried for Dawon and her undeserved death. For Hoseok and the guilt you knew, he carried every day. You cried for Kim Martin, who died at the hands of the killer that stole his son. You cried for yourself, over the fear of the future as you saw it grow intimately tangled with a notorious gang.

You don't know how long Jungkook waited as you reeled yourself back together. He waited long after you finished crying, knowing just because you had control of yourself physically didn't mean you were mentally ready to face the world, so he wrapped you in his warmth and hummed to himself as he rocked you both slowly. 

You loosened and tightened your grip on his shirt and curled and uncurled your toes as you tried to become more aware of your body. You were basically sprawled out on the grass with your upper body twisted and pulled into Jungkook's middle. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but you weren't willing to risk losing his warmth to move. 

You licked your lips, and the jarring taste of your salty tears pulled you from your self pitying thoughts, deciding to work your way up the list you once again started to count. 

One thing you taste, salt. 

Two things you smell: you inhaled deeply and took in the smell of laundry detergent that clung to Jungkkook's shirt. "Detergent," you mumbled into his shirt, and the sound of a coherent word leaving you made Jungkook's humming stop as he looked down at you, nuzzling your face deeper into his chest. He held in his chuckle as you stiffed the air again, and confidently said, "and grass."

You finally pulled yourself away from him only slightly to turn your face away from him, your cheek still pressed against his chest.

"I can hear frogs, cars nearby, and.. your heart," you listed as you looked up at him from under you thick lashes still clumped with tears, "it's louder than mine," you observed as you listened to the hammering in his chest. 

He was from a different kind of nerves. 

He recognized the countdown and realized you were working to ground yourself, "What can you feel?" he prompted eager to get you to move on from his pounding heart. 

"Your t-shirt, it's soft, the grass poking at me through my jeans, my bra digging into me" you wrinkled your nose as you became aware of the discomfort. 

"And?" Jungkook prompted. A smile curled your lips as you looked up at him mischievously, "You're abs," you giggled as you sat up, finally pulling away from him. Jungkook felt the heat crawl up his neck as he turned away, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. 

"And what do you see?" he asked gently, looking everywhere but you. 

You smiled at his bashfulness as you look around, "I see the street sign, the green grass," you pause as you squint, "I think that's either a rock or some dog poop over there," Jungkook let out a startled laugh. You smiled to yourself proudly as you continued. 

"Our shadows from the street light, and,” you pause realizing how close the two of you are, "the little mole underneath your lip."

"Good," he whispered, and you watched in fascination how his lips formed the words, "Are you ready to get up now, or do you need a few minutes?" he asked. It was the way his mouth twisted into a smile at the end of the sentence that made you realize you were still staring at his lips. You blinked before looking up at his eyes, which was alight with a teasing glint. 

"I can stand," you answered, flustered as you pulled your body away from him. Maneuvering your feet beneath you to get up. Jungkook offered you a hand once he was up helping pull you to your feet, before bending down and grabbing your purse for you. Your feet still tingled in that pins and needles feeling. You wiggled your hands to wake up your fingers as well, but other than that, you felt like you recovered from the physical toll of the panic attack quite well.

"C'mon my place is at the end of this road, let me grab a car and drive you home," he offered. 

You walked with him obediently, your hands brushing past each other twice before Jungkook's hand finally snatched yours mid-swing; you looked down and watched as your fingers intertwined with his effortlessly. You looked to him to see a change in his expression, but he looked straight ahead as he walked, acting as if nothing happened. 

You smiled at yourself, thankful for the affection. You always did get a little clingy after panic attacks, relying heavily on skinship and the feeling of someone taking care of you as a way to feel calm. You were surprised how easy it was for you to let Jungkook fall into that roll despite barely knowing him. But you suppose in the handful of interactions the two of you shared, he's always prioritized your comfort and safety. 

"This is your house?" you asked as you took in the massive white art deco house behind the gate you stopped in front of. The gate buzzed and rolled open for the two of you of its own accord and rolled open for the two of you. 

Jungkook smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, kinda," he said with a shrug. 

You raised a brow, "kinda?"

"It's complicated, c'mon let's get you home," he said with a tug reminding you that the two of you were still holding hands. You flushed but followed obediently as you made your way to the garage. 

You squinted as your eyes were met with a flood of fluorescent light upon opening the door. A row of vehicles lined its way down the length of the garage, varying from sports car, to jeep, to a large black truck at the end of the row. A line of 4 motorcycles along the furthest wall. 

"J-Hope sells Namjoon a car any chance he gets," Jungkook chuckled as he took in your awed expression. 

"J-Hope?" you questions, and Jungkook's smile faltered.

"That's what we call Hoseok," he clarified. 

You nodded in understanding, "Like how Taehyung goes by V?" you asked, and he nodded. 

"Hoseok, does he sell drugs like V does?" you asked curious of what all Hoseok's gang involvement entailed.

Jungkook opened his mouth to answer but was cut off as the adjacent door slammed up from what looked to be inside the house, revealing a man in a black t-shirt with a mop of platinum blond hair. 

"There you are," he practically growled as he stormed in the room.

The man was dwarfed by Jungkook a good bit, but somehow Jungkook seemed to cower and appear smaller as the man approached, dropping your hand as if he were caught doing something he shouldn't. 

You looked at him curiously and wondered if he was. 

"Yoongi hyung," he greeted as he tried to force a smile, "I was just about to-" 

"Save it," he snapped, "I have half the army out looking for you, ya know," he turned his fury to you much to your surprise as he added "both of you." 

Your mouth fell open, shocked by the confusion apparent on your face as he continued, "Do I need to babysit both of you, because believe it or not, she's taking up a lot of my time. I really can't handle you getting flakey on me Jungkook, we need to know that you're safe," 

Jungkook looked down as he lectured, murmuring a small apology. 

"And you" Yoongi turned to you, "That goes for you too, the Black Tips are still on your tail, I can't do much for you if you go running off,"

"Hyung," Jungkook hissed. "Not now, please." 

Yoongi blinked at his younger in surprise, turning to you and making a point to really look at you, and take you in. Your red-rimmed eyes and splotchy face, the way you seemed to lean into Jungkook. He recognized that far off look in your eyes like you had to concentrate on being present in the moment, and Yoongi remembered the warning in Hoseok's earlier message when he told him you had run out.

"Yeah, okay, get her home and come straight back when you're done, we still need to talk," he said dismissively. None of your questions were answered, but you didn't resist as Jungkook put a hand on your back and guided you towards a nearby car. 

"Good night, princess," Yoongi called over his shoulder before closing the door behind him. Unlike with Jimin, you felt like you were being mocked when Yoongi called you that.

"Who was that, your brother, and why did he say he needs to babysit me?" you questioned as you both settled into the fine black vehicle the windows were so deeply tinted on the outside you wondered if it was safe to drive at night, but upon getting in the car, you noted that you could see through the windows clearly. 

Jungkook waited until after he put the key in the ignition and backed out into the driveway before he started talking."That's Yoongi hyung or Suga, he's head of surveillance for BTS. He was the one who sent out a message to go escort you home when J– Hobi Hyung told him you were upset and left his apartment so late. I was on my way in that direction when I ran across you on our street," he said, breaking at a stop sign and turning on the blinker.

You looked out the window as you took in everything he's told you, noting that you were stopped again by the light pole you had a panic attack under. Suga was one of the original members in Hoseok's story. You thought to yourself as you connected the dots. Your head still felt a little foggy as you recovered from the literal mental breakdown. The sudden change of lighting earlier had started to make your head throb. You were ready for bed.

"Hobi sent people to look for me?" was all you could manage, not entirely understanding the emotions stirring in your chest. 

"Well yeah, I mean, I was supposed to escort you home after work, and you kind changed plans, so we had to roll with them. I figured Hoseok would have taken you home after everything, so I didn't wait around. And then when Suga did send out the message I didn't notify them that I found you it was dumb on my part," he clarified. 

You leaned onto the console between the two of you, propping your cheek upon your hand in a way that squished your lips into a slight pout. Jungkook tried not to stiffen as you got more in his space. Peeking down at you through his peripherals he saw your brow furrow as you processed everything. 

"Why do you care?" you finally settled on asking as you still struggled to pinpoint why so many people would be worried about your safety.

Hoseok, you understood, to a certain extent, you even understood why he called in the favor. He knew your patterns and signs, you were probably shouting you were about to have an attack with your body language as you walked out the door. He knew he could never comfort you, not when he was the trigger. What you didn't understand was why BTS would listen.

"Because you're still not safe, and BTS took responsibility for your safety when I did," Jungkook said, simply turning to look at you as he stopped at a red light. 

If you were in the right state of mind, such a comment would have triggered an immediate fight. You had been on your own for far too many years to suddenly need a whole gaggle of men to tend to you as if you were some helpless girl. You were a grown-ass woman. But you weren't yourself as you searched for a response in the fog of your mind. 

"You're not responsible for anything about me?" you said softly as you shifted to rest your hand on your chin. 

"Y/n what all did Hoseok hyung tell you?" Jungkook asked, confused, you weren't rejecting his protection, you just seemed oblivious. He assumed the cat was out of the back as soon as you learned what BTS was, who they were concerning you. 

"Just how he joined BTS as how he ya know," you stuck your pointer finger and thumb in the air making soft 'pew pew' sounds. You couldn't bring yourself to talk seriously about the subject. Too much of this night had been severe for your liking. 

"Y/n, you saved my life last week," Jungkook said, trying to look in your eyes and convey all his gratitude. You shifted under his stare.

"I wouldn't call it that," you murmured, turning away, "The lights green," you added flatly trying to turn his attention from you. He ignored you and placed a warm hand over yours. 

"I would, and because of that, I and all of BTS owe you a life debt. We want to protect you as best as we can, especially since you're not totally safe from the guys you saved me from," he emphasized. 

You looked up at him owlishly as you thought over everything he said. But whatever you were going to say died on your lips as a car honked its horn behind you. You both jumped startled, and the intensity of the moment evaporated slightly. 

After a few moments of silence, you decided he didn't require a response. You can't imagine you would give a correct one anyways. You looked down at your hand, his larger one still resting atop your own and turned your wrist quickly and intertwining your fingers.

You rode in silence the rest of the way home, and you were fighting your eyelids as you pulled up to your complex. 

Jungkook wondered if you always fell asleep in the car even with dangerous men. He wondered if that's why he never sees you take the bus at night.

"You really should consider living somewhere safer," Jungkook muttered under his breath as he shut off the engine.

You bit your tongue holding in several comments and gave a noncommittal 'mmm' as you unbuckled and stepped out the car to see he planned to walk you to your door again. 

You grew embarrassed as you climbed the stairs and scrambled to think of parting words dwelling on everything Jungkook had done for you that night, "Thank you," you finally forced yourself to say. Jungkook looked down at you as you came to a halt in front of your door. "For earlier, with the crying and the counting," you offered awkwardly your eyes looking everywhere but his as you breached the sensitive topic. 

"Oh, it wasn't a problem, really. I'm glad I could help" he laughed nervously, and you smiled, reaching for his hand before he could bring it to the back of his head, a nervous habit you were quickly picking up on him having. 

"I'm serious Jungkook, a lot of people freak out and make the situation much worse for me, and I get it seeing someone crying like that it's never an easy thing to react to, but you did—" you hesitated as you searched for the right words, "You were good, comforting." 

You didn't give yourself time to question it as you stood on your tiptoes, deciding to convey your gratitude in a way that your stuttering mouth wouldn't botch, and grazed a small peck aiming for his cheek. Unfortunately, the height difference and your own lack of balance had you landing more on his jawline. Jungkook gasped only slightly at the feeling of your soft lips on his jaw, the heat of your body radiating off of you in your nearness. You smiled at him again as you turned towards the door to unlock it. 

"Haha yeah, happy to hear that," he responded, his voice crawling in pitch as he ordered his heart to beat, and you gave him another warm smile as you pushed open your door. 

"Good night, Jungkook."

"Good night, Ella." 

Jungkook's face split into a grin as you closed the door, a hand reaching for his jaw and pressing against where you kissed him as if it would simulate the feeling. His steps seemed to bounce as he made his way down the concrete stairs and back to his car.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading please tell me what you think! Your comments make me eager to write more :)

Pt.5 ->