#and everyone just loves her incompetence it makes her quirky and fun | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

barschter000 · 4 years ago

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OWOWOW MY FANGAN

THANK YOU SO MUCH AT EVERYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN THIS SERIOUSLY YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME MY HANDS ARE SHAKING (that's also why it took so long to post this akhdjwjs)

Baiko Omori – Ultimate Lucky Student

"My name is Baiko Omori, I am here as the Ultimate Lucky Student. The pleasure of meeting you is mine, my dear friends! There are actually quite many things that I'm talented at and hopefully, this academy helps me find my 'true Ultimate.'"

Birthday: March 11th (Pisces)

Blood Type: A+

Height: 165cm / 5'4”

Weight: 67kg / 148lbs

Likes: vintage 50s music, street food, grocery shopping

Dislikes: cockroaches, the smell of gasoline, betrayal

Baiko never means harm as he values life over everything else. He is friendly and considerate, always smiling. He offers help where he can, sometimes coming off as intrusive but never does something that would put him at a disadvantage. He has the habit of calling everyone his “dear friend” and is in general, quirky and a little detached from normality. When you're around him, you can't help but feel like there's something off but Baiko is too nice for you to bring that up.

Ei Hagakure – Ultimate Ghost Whisperer

"Name's Ei Hagakure, Ghost Whisperer. Sup? My gramps went to this school back in his days. Sadly didn't inherit his spiritual powers, so guess I'll substitute with a bit of science."

Birthday: April 29th (Taurus)

Blood Type: B+

Height: 177cm / 5'8”

Weight: 57kg / 126lbs

Likes: bad television shows, abandoned buildings, the pizza they have on Wednesday at her university's cafeteria

Dislikes: family fights, doctor's appointments, olives

Ei is a laid-back young scientist that leaves the world of academics in wonder at her more or less successful inventions. Her greatest goal is to prove the existence of ghosts based on scientific findings. Despite Ei's grand ambitions, she is relaxed and calm and just weird enough to get along with almost everybody.

Hideaki Yukiyama – Ultimate Mathematician

"Yukiyama Hideaki, Hideaki Yukiyama, Mathematician and the Ultimate at that! This class looks pretty alright so far. You shitwits seem like the type a smart boy like me can have fun with, hehe."

Birthday: May 2nd (Taurus)

Blood Type: 0+

Height: 156cm / 5'1”

Weight: 62kg / 137lbs

Likes: the feeling of chalk, messy notes, his own laugh

Dislikes: boredom, sitting straight, school uniforms

Contrary to what his talent might lead you to believe, Hideaki is actually a brat. Constantly in the search for mischief and entertainment, he likes to ridicule and annoy others. His genius lies hidden in his complicated speech and spectacular knowledge that he uses to confuse the people around him. All negativity and criticism towards his character simply bounces off him. It is not easy to befriend him as he believes that friends hinder him but deep down, he wishes for someone to get through his irritating personality to know him better.

Ichini – Ultimate Robotics Engineer

"My model's name is 1.2, that's Ichini for you. Ultimate Robotics Engineer. Be prepared to have that weirded-out look wiped off your faces, meatbags! Someday I'll drown this world in chaos and rule humanity with my machines!"

Birthday: August 13th (Leo)

Blood Type: 0-

Height: 210cm / 6'8”

Weight: 132kg / 291lbs

Likes: the smell of electricity, children's' shows, energy drinks

Dislikes: being photographed, asparagus, humanity

Ichini is a mean cyborg that has rejected humanity and all its aspects. Xe thinks xemself superior to everyone around xem because they are still human and will not survive the overthrow of the machines that xe is planning. Despite xir large, armed metal body though, Ichini is all bark, no bite and wishes to be more courageous and confident in xir choices.

Jun Nagao – Ultimate Escapologist

"My name is Jun Nagao, I'm the Ultimate Escapologist. There's nothing much about me, really. Sorry."

Birthday: September 25th (Libra)

Blood Type: AB-

Height: 171cm / 5'6”

Weight: 63kg / 139lbs

Likes: flower bouquets, art from the Romantic era, freshly laundered clothes

Dislikes: skin tight clothing, reading out loud, overcrowded subways

After his face was paralysed in a kidnapping incident, Jun has adopted the perception of him being emotionless and cold. As he usually dismisses others and their feelings, Jun is a loner. Because his talent stems from his continued abductions, he finds it distressing to be enrolled at Hope's Peak Academy but accepts his fate to ensure his own safety.

Kaida Tsutsumi – Ultimate Stock Broker

”Kaida Tsutsumi... Ultimate Stock Broker... That is all.”

Birthday: January 9th (Capricorn)

Blood Type: AB-

Chest: 82cm / 32”

Height: 153cm / 5'0”

Weight: 58kg / 128bs

Likes: coffee, Paganini, listening to the rain while falling asleep

Dislikes: the cold, bitter coffee, wool sweaters

Kaida is a small and timid girl, so shy that it is hard to imagine that she works at the stock market. Kaida is great with numbers and probabilities and rather spends time with diagrams and prices than with people. She only speaks as much as necessary and gives her answers clear and direct. Because of her reluctance to talk about herself, she is mostly seen alone but will get extremely attached to you the moment you show that you acknowledge her. It feels like she holds a secret that she can't reveal.

Kyo Kido – Ultimate Horror Author

"My name's Kyo. Uh, Kyo Kido, that's probably how you know me. I'm the Ultimate Horror Author? I'd offer to give out some autographs but my hands are kinda shaking right now cuz– Wow– Hope's Peak, y'know! So it's gonna look kinda ugly, ahah."

Birthday: November 21st (Scorpio)

Blood Type: 0+

Height: 180cm / 5’9”

Weight: 79kg / 174lbs

Likes: romance novels, romantic comedies, the clacking sound of typewriters

Dislikes: ink stains on his hand, sharp pencils, soup

Kyo is really just a normal teenager with a knack for writing; at least, that's what he believes. Like every other teenager, he is a little awkward and shy and, in contrast to his talent, not at all scary. However, Kyo's books manage to evoke such terror in his readership that it's dubbed and loved as 'Kido's curse'. Kyo is flattered but honestly can't handle the fame.

Maxis von Läuterbach – Ultimate Knight

"My name is Maxis von Läuterbach, wielding the title of the Ultimate Knight. It is not often that you see someone as wondrous as me, so my lieges, I am ever at your service."

Birthday: June 21st (Gemini)

Blood Type: AB-

Height: 182cm / 5'9"

Weight: 75kg / 165lbs

Likes: stained glass windows, historic castles, Belgian pralines

Dislikes: blisters, ignorance, ill-behaved children

Growing up surrounded by ruins of glorious pasts and with the wish to set themself off from their peers, Maxis chose to walk the path backwards and do everything in their power to become a historically accurate knight. Unfortunately, Maxis had miscalculated and noticed that a knight lives to serve, not to be served but there is no turning back now.

Shiori Ishimaru-Owada – Ultimate Team Captain

"I'm Shiori Ishimaru-Owada, proudly bearing the title of the Ultimate Team Captain! I'm excited to get along with y'all! Honestly, I don't really know why I'm at this academy, but as long as I make my Dads proud, I'm probably doing the right thing!"

Birthday: December 14th (Sagittarius)

Blood Type: AB+

Height: 185cm / 6'0”

Weight: 79kg / 174lbs:

Likes: racing games, exercise, cooking

Dislikes: reading, hospital stays, basements

Shiori is an intense and upbeat girl. She is a capable leader with strong beliefs that she defends well and at times, imposes on others without noticing. While not being truly talented at a singular sport, she has tried out many things and has always effortlessly attracted a group of allies around her, no matter where she went. She is kind and motivational and, strange for a teenage girl, very attached to her parents.

Tamae Shiroma – Ultimate Whistleblower

"I'm Tamae Shiroma, Ultimate Whistleblower. Pleasure. Before I get any complaints later: Know who you're talking to, alright?"

Birthday: May 21st (Gemini)

Blood Type: B+

Height: 159cm / 5'2”

Weight: 73kg / 161lbs

Likes: hot baths, spicy food, her sister

Dislikes: reality TV, sugary food, caterpillars

Famous for her small but well-placed leaks, Tamae is the tiny thorn in the side of many politicians. In the shithole that she considers the world, Tamae tries to find the truth as painful as it may be to some. She is wary and never fully trusts anyone, knowing that how dirty people play for their achievements. While talking to her, it always seems like she knows more than you've told her. That is probably true. At the cost of her anonymity, she is attending Hope's Peak where she is promised security. Her talent is her duty, whether she is happy with it or not.

Etsuya Iwata – Ultimate Opera Singer

"My name is but fleeting. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, a song of any other melody would sound as fine. For now, call me Etsuya Iwata, forever I am the Ultimate Opera Singer. Allow me to bring pleasure to your ears, my darlings!"

Birthday: July 9th (Cancer)

Blood Type: B-

Height: 174cm / 5'7”

Weight: 65kg / 143lbs

Likes: being on stage, tea, sightseeing

Dislikes: having to keep secrets, incompetence, boring drama

Etsuya is a charming lad that likes to bathe in the spotlight. He comes from renowned music schools and stages and he is aware the extend of his talent such as his vocal range, performance abilities, musical expertise or the languages he is fluent in. However, Etsuya is not arrogant, he rather aims to make people happy with his performances. It's easy to fall for his appeal and compliments but it's just as easy to notice that he is moody and picky and overall dramatic, and terrible at lying.

Rokuro Nakatani - Ultimate Fraud

"Rokuro Nakatani, sixth son of my generation. This school calls me the Ultimate Fraud yet there's no actual evidence for this claim. I fear they might have given me that title based on my sisters who were arrested for theft and forgery. Well, these are only two of my eight siblings, black sheeps aren't uncommon, right?"

Birthday: April 14th (Aries)

Height: 167cm / 5'6"

Weight: 66kg / 146lbs

Likes: lucky charms, rabbits, looking stylish

Dislikes: noisy places, manual labor, seaweed

Rokuro comes from a family of forgers and grew up in criminal ranks with limited contact to a normal life. He is used to being assessed and given a value and, just like everyone else in his clan, is a perfectionist through and through. His talent, artistic skills and his eye for detail all came naturally to him without much effort. Rokuro is the poster child of his family, earning him prestige and confidence but also pressure and envy from his parents and siblings. Towards others, he is condescending and belittling. Despite his standing in the Nakatani family and with his crafting abilities at hand, Rokuro often wonders if there is a way for him to create something original.

Miyoko Iwata – Ultimate DJ

"Miyoko Iwata, Ultimate DJ! The lil' hodgepodge I'm wearin' on my face isn't actually a laser or sumthin', it just helps me see. So no worries, I don't bite! Or at least, not that often."

Birthday: July 9th (Cancer)

Blood Type: B+

Height: 172cm / 5'6"

Weight: 68kg / 152lbs

Likes: bass, crowds, playing violin

Dislikes: the quiet, being lonely, salty instant meals

Miyoko is a young music producer that is known for her remixes and features and grew her large international fanbase through social media. With how many experiences she has made in so little time, she has matured quickly and developed a sort of maternal protection over those she holds dear. However, that protection often slips into violence. Miyoko lashes out and threatens people, sometimes pulling the knife she carries on her. There seems to be something hidden underneath her visor and neon clothes that Miyoko doesn't wish to talk about. She says that she is looking for something.

#fanganronpa #fangan #fangan oc

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pigspeetsandhooflikefeets · 4 years ago

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Hey. I don’t like posting this because I like to be a positive person and this is a really cool and positive fandom, but I need to say please avoid melodicalmusic on DeviantArt/doggiebeats on Quotev. Initially I thought it was just someone who was missing the point, but they are far worse and actively harmful. (notes under cut)

melodicalmusic/doggiebeats is the author and illustrator of an au fic named “Velo Life”. At first glance it is harmless, the art is fine. The story revolves around a mask named Pap (a papillon dog) doing things, being an assistant to the monarchy, and dating Fox. Sometimes other masks get chapters, but the overall focus is on her oc, which is fine, as ocs can be good. The problem isn’t conception, it’s execution.

Transphobia: Melodic decided to cast Leopard as a non-binary intersex character. It was a fair design choice, other than the fact she referred to them as a “pseudo-h*rmaphodite”, which is medically outdated, as well as the inclusion of ‘pseudo’ is more offensive than the slur alone. Leopard has biological cubs, despite most intersex (obviously not all) being infertile or unable to carry children showing a lack of research on the topic, as well as it being a very dysphoric situation for many trans and intersex people.

Leopard was referred to as a “quing”, combination “queen” and “king”. Now. Mull over it. Okay stop mulling, because she had every inch to just use “Monarch”, such as “Monarch Leopard”, as well as titles like “Their/Your Majesty”, which works for both kings and queens, so it should have been suitable for Leopard.

Unprompted, she backpedaled saying “But I wanted Leopard in my AU to be a actual female. Cause I think it's for the best. Everyone kinda hated Leopard, but I love everything she does. No not Transgender, just really a female.”. Besides the fact she took it in her own hands to decide that a mask played by Seal was ‘now a cis woman’, she implies that trans women are not women, calling cis women ‘really a female’.

In her fic, the only other trans character is Egg, who is exceptionally ambiguous to being trans, not specifying if Egg is NB, FTM, or if he as well was going to be intersex. She dedicates a chapter to pride month, yet a lot of the focus is on the cishet masks (Pap (her oc), Frog, and Fox), as well as a concerning ship of T-Rex and Poodle, as everyone knows that T-Rex is somewhat coded to be a child, since Jojo was only 16 when she performed. Despite claiming to respect trans people, she only had two trans characters, and decided that one of them wouldn’t be trans anymore because “I admired the high-pitch voice that was fitted for the Leopard, it just suits SO well. Even if the show kept going, I always hear the digital high vocals.”. Call me crazy, but that’s not a reason to make a man a cis woman.

As a trans man, Leopard was disgustingly handled in the show with the panel first week, accusing Seal of ‘tricking’ them for wearing drag and acting feminine (not acting like a woman, acting feminine), and I hoped it wouldn’t leech into the fandom. Clearly I was wrong.

Homophobia: Where to start with this. As stated, she changed Leopard from a NB intersex character (in her original canon) to a cis woman. In the fic, Leopard is married to Nick. I don’t need to tell you that she made Nick x Leopard into a straight ship. She made the only gay ship tease in the show into a straight ship. I wish it ended here.

Somali, an oc, has potential. Not here, but he has it. Somali is gay. If you think I’m undermining his character, that is his character. Somali likes magic and theater, and is very flamboyant. He is a gay walking stereotype. In his description, it is stated, “The story is that he turnout Gay, Of course Pappy was Supportive, but she knew it wasn't fair, especially through everything she's involved.” If you need me to translate: Somali broke up with Pap after realizing he was gay. Pap saw that as unfair, and that she was a victim of being lead on because he found out he was gay. Yes, Pap is making Somali being gay and dealing with his internalized homophobia… about herself. She goes to the point of calling him her nemesis. Which is a... toxic way to refer to someone who broke up with you on clean terms.

Somali eventually teams up with Rottweiler, Pap’s brother (who abuses her, despite it being out of character in every means) and is. Evil, and he hates Pap now apparently. We can’t go a minute without the gay oc being evil huh. Somali being gay doesn’t add to the story, it just suggests the only reason he stopped dating her was that he was gay (which is bad and offensive in Pap’s eyes) because he is not shown to fall for Rottweiler, or have any crushes on other male masks. His homosexuality is an accessory tag, and it’s really not a good one when he is the only gay character with a lot of lines.

Every. Character. That. Is. LGBT. Is. A. Token. Ice Cream and T-Rex are the closest ones to not be tokens, as Ice Cream has a job at a diner and T-Rex gets lines, but T-Rex is only used for exposition, and again, a child shipped with an adult mask. Peacock’s and Rabbit’s role outside of the first chapter is to have a rocky relationship, being forced to rekindle their relationship after Pap tells them to do so for a love festival. Several of the female masks are bisexual or lesbians, but they add so little to the plot, that I don’t even remember which ships are which. Every [since Leopard used to not be but is now] main character is heterosexual and cis (Pap, Fox, Leopard, Kitty, Frog, Turtle, Rottweiler) which doesn’t imply that she actually is that pro LGBT. Drawings of hers for Ice Cream and Egg are captioned “Just something Gay for you guys to see~” (fetishizing much?).

Ableism: One of the ocs in the fic is a Red Panda, who is related to Panda (don’t be confused, animal wise they are not closely related at all). In the fic, Red Panda suffers from PTSD due to an accident which caused her to be disabled in the leg, who uses a single-leg-crutch to walk. The physical disability is handled well enough, not being a hindrance or made fun of, but her personality is the worst. Red Panda is a cowardly and sniveling child, scared of her own shadow and completely incompetent. Her PTSD is very thinly written, not giving her any specific triggers or reasons for anxiety. If her PTSD was presented with her being afraid of entering a vehicle or certain smells that would relate to the accident (rubber, smoke, leather), it would make sense, but Red Panda is scared of everything. On a dare, Frog tells Kitty to impersonate a mask. Kitty impersonates Red Panda, making fun of her cowardice, which can be an actual attack on people who have PTSD (like myself), Kitty justifies herself, saying she couldn’t think of anyone else, Red Panda immediately accepting it. Being a minor character, there is no time for her to develop, and the Red Panda we were presented with is already a mess.

In the same chapter that Red Panda is introduced, Axolotl (mentioned a lot later) dares Fox to remove his prosthetic arm. I don’t need to need prosthesis to know that asking someone to take their ARM OFF is unfunny and uncalled for. Pap, Fox’s girlfriend, decided to take the time and kissed the welt, commenting that it “looked interesting”. Don’t- don’t do that. Don’t kiss people’s scars or cuts or welts or anything related to their disability, especially without permission. Axolotl was being ablest to Fox and somehow Fox didn’t know better and forgot to tell her she was acting uncivilized, despite being one of the smartest masks in the canon.

Condoning Incest: One of the ocs in the fic is an Axolotl. The axolotl is Frog’s biological sister, Frog having Turtle as his adopted brother, which in fic Turtle is stated to have been adopted in Frog’s family for over 15 years. In the axolotl’s description, it is stated “Though Axolotl is a relative of him, She deeply has a crush on him. Which maybe weird but hey, Turtle's Adopted. So not a big deal”. No, it’s not ‘ok’ because Turtle is adopted, especially since they’ve been related 15 years. It’s not like Frog and Turtle are ‘close enough to be brothers’, they are related by law. Axolotl is presented to quirkily force a kiss on Turtle in one chapter, which she is not punished or condoned for 1. Sexually harassing him 2. Committing incest and putting it on his conscience, OTHER than her getting salmonella, which all characters who kiss Turtle are prone to getting (Ice Cream in chapter was stated to have fallen sick after kissing him). Axolotl is treated completely fine and Turtle has her in his band, regardless of the fact she is predatory towards him. Additionally, Axolotl is treated as a babysitter towards all of the children on the island, despite, again, sexually harassing someone she is related to, which people saw happen.

Incest is a harmful thing that can cause people to self-deprecate themselves or worse. It’s not a quirky “ha ha, they kissed, so funny!” because Axolotl DOES want to prey on Turtle. She DOES want to be with him. She didn’t CARE about his feelings, in the moment or after. It wasn’t a cute kiss on the cheek, and it wasn’t funny.

Fetishization of Japan: Pap is a weeeeeb. Pap is stated to be Japanese (her last name being Akita) which is confusing on account of the fact Rottweiler and her family are not shown to be Japanese? Anyways, Pap uses broken Japanese, completely unsparingly, and just says it in a way she expects everyone to understand her. It’s not Engrish, she speaks English well enough, she just adds it in sentences, and Melodic doesn’t even offer translations at the end of chapters. Phrases used are arbitrary, one some reason ending with “translator”. Entire sentences can be in Japanese, making the story hard to follow. If this fetishization of the language was limited to Pap, it’d be more tolerable, but other masks, ones who have no reason to know Japanese, use it as well, equally poorly.

Xenophobia: Some reason the USA and UK masks are all good guys (other than Rottweiler) but the German masks live in a ‘badlands’. German Monster teams up with Rottweiler and is his girlfriend, while German Dragon sexually assaults Kitty when they go through the badlands. There is no rhyme or reason why they are the scapegoated ‘evil’ series, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Inability to handle criticism: I tried. I tried my absolute best to tell her that what she was writing was harmful and past borderline offensive. I told her that Somali was a gay stereotype and very poorly presented, not getting a personality out of ‘likes singing’ (which all masks do…) and ‘is evil gay’. She didn’t care. We told her she was using slurs and that turning a mask played by Seal into a cis woman was offensive and transphobic (as well as Leopard already poorly being handled). She didn’t care.

In fact she more than didn’t care. She called us insensitive and whiny. Quote from her, "Now, I been feeling upset about some Haters/Karens harassing me on my AU ideas. And yes that's dumb.” Karens. You know, the stereotypical older women who hate the gays and trans people and bully people doing their jobs? Karens? Yeah, no. A Karen would be against any characters being trans or gay, insisting the show is for families, not telling them to stop using literal slurs (which have been outdated over 20 years) and to actually write gay characters. She genuinely acts like she can do no wrong and that everyone that doesn’t fawn over her is bad. This has nothing to do with the quality of the writing and the lack of grammar, this is about how she is unapologetically offensive and writing triggering content for the sake of being ‘quirky’.

I’m not saying “go rally against her” or “dox her” or “flame her story”, I’m suggesting please don’t give her attention. She’s clearly a child, and she’s not willing to change. All we can do is limit how much attention she gets until she grows up.

#masked singer #the masked singer #talking about this with my group really hurt like this is a bad headspace to be in #I don't want her to quit I want her to grow as a person

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enneagramwingmiranda · 5 years ago

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Parks and Recreation: The actual enneagram types of Leslie, Ron, Tom, April, Andy, Donna, Ben, Chris, and Jerry

The Protagonist: Leslie Knope [Type 3]

“I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”

Enneagram Wing: 3w2 (Achiever along with a helper)

"I care. I care a lot. It's kinda my thing."

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Leslie feels her purpose is to make the world a better place, specifically Pawnee, since this is the place she holds dear to her heart and is the most reachable for her. Her identity is defined by her work and her drive and passion are what allow her to continue to move up the latter. She takes rejection and set backs hard, however, she always gets back up and continues to move forward to reach her goals. Her influence shapes the hearts and minds of her coworkers. She inspires them to be better people and to find what they are meant to do in life and do it. Along with her go-getter attitude, she goes above and beyond for her friends (2) and they greatly appreciate her care and efforts. As for her childhood wound, she has described her mother as cold and withholding so we can only assume that she received praise and attention only from the achievements she made. Her mother also works in government and only respects those with an assertive and dominant presence.

The Sensible Friend: Ann Perkins [Type 6]

“As Leslie’s maid of honor, I really need her bachelorette party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

Enneagram wing: 6w7 (Loyalist along with an enthusiast)

“I’m putting myself out there, meeting some new people, having some causal fun, and it’s awkward.”

Core Fear: Fearing fear itself, being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, targeted, alone, or physically abandoned

Core Desire: Having security, guidance, and support

Ann is by far the most sensible character. She is the person everyone knows they can rely on. Andy unfortunately took advantage of this quality resulting in her becoming his caretaker rather than remaining an equal. Leslie appreciates her sensibility and this is what makes them such great friends. However, Leslie can trigger Ann’s already existing anxiety from her high expectations and good intentioned pushy behavior. Another side of the coin of is her fear of ending up alone. She is constantly dating and even settles a few times to avoid loneliness. It is when she takes the time to be single and soothes this fear that she and Chris end up together. Ann also has an adventurous streak. She likes to go out and have a good time. She just sometimes needs a little push from Chris, Leslie, or Donna.

The True Introvert: Ron Swanson [Type 5]

“That is a canvas sheet, the most versatile object known to man. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.”

Enneagram wing: 5w4|5w6 (Balanced)

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”

Core Fear: Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant; having obligations placed upon you or your energy being completely depleted

Core Desire: Being capable and competent

Ron is an intellect, constantly going off on philosophical tangents about the corrupt ways of government, effective life hacks, and flawed human nature. He believes there is only one way to do things and his ways of going about things are very unique to himself (4). He is a non-conformist. He loves learning new things and adding to his craft. He is a breakfast and wood enthusiast. Ron is quite guarded and withdrawn from the world and prefers this. His childhood wound is that his mother was intrusive and over-controlling so we can assume he felt exposed and defenseless. This followed Ron in adulthood as he had many toxic relationships with women similar to her. Thus, Ron feels he is best served to live in isolation and fend for himself, as well as, rely on cerebral means rather than emotional means. Ron demonstrates his wing 6 with his desire to be safe and have security.

The Entrepreneur: Tom Haverford [Type 3]

“At the risk bragging, one of the things I’m best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.

Enneagram wing: 3w4 (Achiever along with an individualist)

“‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ — I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.’”

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Tom measures his entire worth from his successes and failures. He is extremely creative and is constantly coming up with unique ideas to form a successful business.

The Misanthrope: April Ludgate [Type 4]

“I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.”

Enneagram wing: 4w5 (Individualist along with investigator)

“If you ever speak me to me in Spanish please use the formal “usted”.

Core Fear: Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant

Core Desire: Being unique, special, and authentic

April portrays major apathy but it’s clearly done to hide her genuine care and insecurity. She wants to be unique and special, thus overdoing it with her quirky, odd, eccentric, nonconformist talk and lifestyle. Her speech and way of behaving is an oxymoron. She deep down wants what everyone else wants: real love, real friendship, and a successful career. As she grows up and matures, she moves further away from her exaggerated dark persona to a normal expressive, mature adult. However, she adds in whatever she needs to to maintain her individuality. April also values cerebral pursuits shown in her getting accepted to an exceptional veterinary school. Her wing 5 is what helps her identify with so much with Ron.

The Charming Goofball: Andy Dwyer [Type 9]

“It’s fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.”

Enneagram wing: 9w8 (Peacemaker along with the challenger)

“I’m not crying. I’m just allergic to jerks!”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind

The epitome of Andy’s character is his easy-going nature. He is also very caring and thoughtful. He rarely ever voices if anything is bothering him and we see him go through great lengths to end any conflict between he and April. He attempts to make things right with Ann after their break up but doesn’t succeed. Andy possess a child-like mindset and view of the world and this is what seems to serve as a coping skill for the trials and tribulations of life. This also makes him endearing and what makes him perfect for April as she holds a similar mentality.

The Nerd: Ben Wyatt [Type 1]

“I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s going to bug me if I don’t.”

Enneagram wing: 1w9 (Reformer along with peacemaker)

“Stick to the list and you’ll do great. I have total faith in you... (there’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die.)”

Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible

Core Desire: Having integrity, being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right

Ben is straightforward and willing to tell the truth, even if it could offend someone. He likes things to be in order. He often feels like the odd one out in the parks department because he values principles and professionalism while his colleagues behave inappropriately. He admires Leslie for her quirky professionalism. Ben also desires a peaceful environment and will keep quiet about things bothering him resulting in passive aggressive behavior.

The Optimist: Chris Traeger [Type 7]

“The world is my gymnasium, Ron.”

Enneagram wing: 7w6 (Enthusiast along with loyalist)

“I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.”

Core Fear: Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun

Core Desire: Being happy, fully satisfied, and content

Chris is extremely positive all the time to cover up his true inner turmoil. He had a tough childhood and coped with the trauma by avoiding the negative emotions and putting his focus on his health. Thus he became a health nut. In the field of clinical psychology, he would most likely be diagnosed with orthorexia. Chris has a lot of anxiety about life and desires to feel a sense of safety in his life and relationships, thus making him fall into the wing 6. He desires the guidance and support from others (he started seeing a counselor 5 times a week during his depressive episode).

The Minx: Donna Meagle [Type 8]

“You better watch yourself.”

Enneagram wing: 8w7 (Challenger along with enthusiast)

“Treat yourself.”

Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice

Core Desire: Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle

Donna is the epitome of “an independent black woman who don’t need no man.” She essentially dos onto others what she fears they will do onto her. Thus, she manipulates and abuses vulnerable men to get what she wants and then leaves them. We can assume that something happened in her childhood that resulted in this relationship pattern. She discusses her grandma dying while having a threesome so this behavior was certainly model for her. She falls on the 7 wing for her enjoyment of life's greatest pleasures.

The Target: Jerry Gergich [Type 9]

“So I go by Terry now. They already had a Larry in the Parks department, and they suggested that they change my name to Terry. I told them my real name was Garry, and they said ‘who cares?’ What a fun bunch of guys.”

Enneagram wing: 9w1 (Peacemaker along with reformer)

“Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind

Jerry is clearly a peacemaker in that he keeps his mouth shut despite his constant abuse from his colleagues at the parks department. He identifies with Andy in that Tom was trying to dub him as the new office target due to his similar easygoing nature and clumsiness. He shows that he is a wing 1 in his values of goodness and morality.

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quicksilverlightning · 5 years ago

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The AMA Thread

I AM HERE – to answer your questions!

Proof it’s me. Last known picture of my publicist’s happy days. The bunker I’m staying in so she can’t kill me when this goes viral. Ask me anything!

______________________________________________________________

ob-vi-ous-ly

What is your Quirk?

That's a secret!

tez-la-coil

What’s your favorite pizza topping?

Pepperoni! I can’t eat pizza very often these days though.

HonoriaB

Hi All Might! Big fan with a question I’ve wanted to ask for a long time; what is your stance on vigilantes?

I cannot legally endorse vigilantism; however, neither can I advocate idly standing by when someone needs help. If you can do something without breaking the law, do! If you can help someone without placing yourself in harm’s way, do! You don’t need to be a hero or a vigilante to make a difference.

ColorObscura

How would you advise ordinary people to make a difference?

There are any number of things you can do - volunteer, recycle, teach, learn, be present and active in your own life. Be a listener. Be a sibling. Be a friend. These things matter more than you may realize, for all that they seem small.

MabelDidNothingWrong

Mr. All Might Sir, are you aware of the mountains of explicit fanart featuring yourself?

Yes.

MabelDidNothingWrong

Okay, follow-up question, how do you feel about the mountains of explicit fanart featuring yourself?

I accept that it’s par for the course in this line of work and I’m glad it makes you all happy. That said, actually seeing it weirds me out.

Koreh57

What was your working relationship with your publicist like before this AMA thread?

We had a mutually beneficial relationship; I did stupid things, she spun them into positive things. The incident at Kamino Ward has had her running ragged – I have a very generous severance package prepared for the day it all becomes too much.

pumpkins_and_spice

During your segment on Quirky Kitchen, you talked a little bit about your gastrectomy – this is a procedure that I may be going through myself in a few months. Do you have any advice or tips that you would be willing to pass on? What were the first few weeks of not having a stomach like?

First of all, let me say that I’m very sorry you’re going through this. There is still life to be had after, but it’s a massive change and a struggle to reach something approaching normalcy after something like this.

Your scenario will likely depend on whether you’re having a full or partial removal; either way, one of the best things you can do to begin preparing is to start collecting recipes. Get your friends and family to help you – make it a communal effort! There will be some things you likely won’t be able to have, at least not for a while, so enjoy them now!

Adjusting took a long, long time – it’s something I still struggle with every day. I no longer feel hunger, so I forget to eat. Get an app to set alarms and reminders for yourself. Track your progress. But most importantly, don’t forget that just because it’s not the same as life before, doesn't mean that it’s life over. There is still joy to be found all around you :)

27percentBatterylife

Is there anything you wish you could eat again?

I miss being able to digest sugar easily; I always had a sweet tooth. I fell in love with pecan pie during my time in the States, and I haven't been able to eat any in years.

Tsunagi-the-Hungry

I realize that it’s probably Top Secret hush hush business, but what can you tell us about the villain at Kamino? Who was he? What’s his name? What was his goal? Why did he kidnap a UA student? Have you met him before? What the hell was all that about?

I cannot disclose very much information about what happened that night in Kamino Ward. What I can tell you is that the villain in question is very dangerous, and was acting as a sort of mentor to Shigaraki Tomura, the leader of the League of Villains. We do not know his name.

I have met him before. We fought some years ago; I won.

43-59-87

If you won the first time, how did he come back? Was he not incarcerated?

We were under the impression that the man was dead.

fxck0ffm8

What do you mean by “under the impression” he was dead? Was he, or wasn’t he? Is our government so incompetent that they can’t tell a dead body from a live one?

There was no body. We assumed because the medical team had to scrape his brain matter out from under my fingernails. Does that answer your question?

coffeedispenser

The scar on your left side - was it given to you by this villain?

Yes.

coffeedispenser

Would you be willing to elaborate?

Again, there are some things I'm simply not allowed to talk about. Our first bout was brutal, vicious, and destructive. It was the only time in my life I fought not just to incapacitate, but with intent to kill if necessary. Everyone saw what happened in Kamino, and that was with both of us in less than ideal shape; the first go-around was even worse.

The wound in my side occurred near the end; I literally had to hold my own organs in just to finish the fight. It was not a pleasant experience.

its_sunnie

Hello, this thread got hella dark let me just make a distraction here… do you have any hobbies?

I love movies and film! I have an impressive movie poster collection, if I do say so myself; many of them are autographed. Lately, I’ve been taking care of a few succulent plants – my students got them for me while I was in the hospital. My echeveria is growing beautifully!

Bold-Of-You_To-Assume-I-Wont

What’s your favorite time of year?

All the seasons are wonderful in their own way, but I particularly enjoy the colors of autumn.

ohtobeyoungagain385

Hi All Might! I’d like to hear any fun teacher stories you have!!

I have many! My students are amazing and learning more and more every day. During final exams, I took on two of the boys in a simulation match – the match could be won by either putting a pair of handcuffs on the villain (me) or by getting through the exit gate. Both of them too quite a beating, but slipped through the gate and passed with time to spare! And I have to admit, I get a real kick out of playing the bad guy – watching their faces change when they realize I mean business is hysterical.

On the flip side of things, Present Mic once accidentally locked everyone out of the teacher’s lounge. The staff were rather surprised when I picked the lock before someone could find Eraserhead.

not-a-vigilante

Okay, I need to know how/why you know how to pick locks when you can break doors with your pinky finger.

It’s wise to have a wide variety of skills; you never know what might save your life one day. Certainly, I could have broken the door down, but then we would have a broken door. It’s no good solving one problem by creating another.

39_Bottles

Back to Kamino a moment: there was a moment during the fight where the villain said something to you, and it knocked you off your game. What did he say?

The villain I fought does not rely purely on physical strength; he is known for mind games and pulling at one’s psyche. He had a piece of information that was personally relevant to me, that I will not disclose here.

germanhotchocolate

Is your refrigerator running?

Let me go check!

jkl04

Well? Don’t leave us hanging!

My fridge is running just fine!

AM_FAN0112

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT IN SUGAR SUGAR CAT CAFE

EVERY TIME MR. WHISKERS KNOCKS OVER THE SALTSHAKER, I LOSE IT ALL OVER AGAIN!

heliotrope-teacup

Boxers or briefs?

I’m sure you can find fanart for either version.

forkeepsies

ANSWER THE QUESTION ALL MIGHT

OpalescentButterfly88

The people need to know!

Mulan-Rouge

Your run of Quirk Warrior was AWESOME! What is your training regimen like?

Thank you, my friend! I do make an effort to stay in shape – I enjoy jogging the most, but I get into the gym as well. It’s nothing as intensive as my prime years, but that’s no reason to slack off!

450-five

What was your workout routine like in your prime? What’s the most you’ve ever been able to dead lift?

Hero-ing as my day job WAS the workout! As for weight training, you couldn’t put enough weight on the barbell to accurately measure that – need I remind you that I’ve held up buildings in my career?

wannab3h3r0

Hello Mr. Might! I'm taking the UA entrance exam next year - got any advice?

No cheating now! Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Study hard for the written test, and act the way a hero would in the practical. Good luck!

______________________________________________________________

I'm sorry to leave you all, but I'm afraid my time is up! My publicist has found me and I have to go face her wrath with whatever courage I can muster. Let's do this again sometime, shall we?

Your Former Number One Hero,

ALL MIGHT

#yagi toshinori #All Might #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha fanfiction #fanfic #social media fic #mha #bnha #number one in our hearts #small references to other chapters #his publicist is the real hero around here #you know they must have their hands full #AM_FAN0112 is my favorite OC #writing her cracks me up #the most fan-ish of fans #send me questions for a part two!

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/02/2021 (Lil Tjay & 6LACK, Taylor Swift, slowthai)

Okay, so we’ve got a busy week ahead of us, actually a pretty massive one to deep-dive through – and it’s immediately obvious from the second song on the chart, but for now, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo hangs on for what I believe is its sixth week at #1, and we’ve got a lot to cover.

Rundown

First of all, why’s this a big week? Well, there is an album bomb – or at least all that the UK Singles Chart allows for album bombs – and everything that could have debuted... debuted high. So in the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, we’ve got an awful lot to discuss. First of all, our drop-outs, other than debuts from last week, include “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish, “All Girls are the Same” by the late Juice WRLD, “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo and fittingly, “Skin” by Sabrina Carpenter. We also have a fair few losers, like “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey down to #16 off of the top 5 debut and all of Fredo’s tracks skidding down off of the album bomb two weeks ago, like “Money Talks” with Dave at #19, “Ready” featuring Summer Walker at #37 and “Burner on Deck” with Young Adz and the late Pop Smoke at #51. We also have “34+35” by Ariana Grande not getting a remix boost at #30 (though it can get the album boost next week), “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka collapsing at #39, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #48, “willow” by Taylor Swift at #49, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #50, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #52, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #55, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #56, “Be the One” by Rudimental featuring MORGAN, Digga D and TIKE at #58, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #59 (I’m surprised we didn’t get “GNF (OKOKOK)” debut, by the way), “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #61, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #62, “Loading” by Central Cee collapsing at #63, “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix doing the same at #65 (probably both victims of streaming cuts), “Apricots” by Bicep at #68, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #69, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #70 and “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #73. What may be more interesting than our notable fallers are our notable gains and returning entries, however, as whilst only “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper returned to #64, we also have some inexplicable or just plain bad gains. “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek seemingly has a second wind at #67, along with “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran at #57 and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #42, but our other gains are mostly recent debuts, like “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #45, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Maxed Wolf at #44, “Believe Me” by Navos at #43, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence at #33 and finally, “Friday”, Riton’s ugly Nightcrawlers remix featuring Musafa & Hypeman dopamine re-editing itself into the top 10 at #10, becoming everyone’s first in that category, except the Nightcrawlers themselves getting their first top 10 since 1995, even if it’s just “Push the Feeling On” getting into the top 10 a second, separate time 26 years later... and it’s scary to think 1995 is indeed 26 years ago. Anyway, let’s start to make sense of these new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “MAZZA” – slowthai featuring A$AP Rocky

Produced by SAMO, slowthai and Kwes Darko

Now, the charts may be chaotic because of the general weakness of it all but it also allows for artists you wouldn’t really expect to do that well get #1 albums, and slowthai’s riding the waves of controversy, his well-received debut album and, you know, a genuinely very good quality of work, as his sophomore effort, TYRON, debuts at #1 on the UK Albums Chart, and we’ve got three songs from Ty on this singles chart, which is the highest amount the chart actually allows, meaning this is an album bomb. Yeah, an album bomb from slowthai – that’s the one thing you can guarantee ONLY ever happens on the UK charts... well, okay, there are many things, but we’ll get to those later. I’m surprised “MAZZA” didn’t debut higher given the music video, big-name feature, being one of the catchiest on the record and the fact that it’s getting radio play, but it’s still here, so who’s to complain? This track, from the emptier A-side of “bangers” in the first half of the album, relies on a quirky synth loop and a bouncy trap beat for slowthai and Rocky to individually prove themselves on and, yeah, the song is pretty great, with a really infectious hook and mostly really smooth flows, propelled by the charisma that just so easily spreads out of every word Ty raps. The title itself is slang that basically something is “mad” – that in, crazy and fun – and that is fitting for the song, which seems to be at a disconnect between the content, beat and feature. Ty flip-flops between flexing, depression and drug addiction, whilst A$AP Rocky just delivers some flexing... but when it’s one of Rocky’s best verses in years, I’m just glad to have him spitting here finally. This is far from the most interesting track on the record but it’s definitely an empty banger cruising on energy more than anything, which is good because it has that in spades. I’d like to point out though that much like the rest of the first half of this album, it is derivative: this is a beat you could see either Rocky or Playboi Carti on, and Ty seems to be doing mostly Rocky-esque flows with a definite attempt at doing the same ad-lib-focal song structure as Carti would. This is unfortunate by now but I can see him growing out of his influence as time comes, although it is a concern when it’s clearer on your bangers than it is your retrospective tunes, which are also pretty clearly Kanye- and BROCKHAMPTON-inspired. Speaking of...

#72 – “terms” – slowthai featuring Dominic Fike and Denzel Curry

Produced by Mount Kimbie, JD. Reid and Kenny Beats

It’s crazy to see production credits from Mount Kimbie and Kenny Beats on the UK Singles Chart... but with that said, you’d expect that to end up as one of the best songs on the chart, especially with this trio of artists. Sadly, the tracks that debuted this week are not close to my favourites off of the project, but if songs like “45 SMOKE”, “push”, “nhs”, “focus”, “PLAY WITH FIRE” and my personal favourite, “i tried”, aren’t going to chart, then I guess we can deal with this to show the more introspective side of the record and slowthai as a whole... except this song is exceptionally shallow in that lane, discussing the downsides of fame in a way that feels tired and done before, even on the same album – and we’ll get to that in a bit. Dominic Fike discusses his words being “jumbled” when in reality I don’t think anything Ty has said has been confused or taken out of context. It doesn’t help that this beat has a drowned-out guitar sample that just sounds ugly below a dark, menacing 808 and trap percussion that take Dominic Fike out of his element so much that he just sounds awful on the hook. Slowthai may have a faster flow here but he’s remarkably unfocused content-wise, and Denzel Curry doesn’t deliver more than a badly-mixed Memphis rap interlude that you can barely tell is him. This is far from bad, I do like the subtle vocal samples in the chorus and slowthai’s second verse about his daily schedule is genuinely really great, but it feels like wasted potential. Fun fact: This is actually Denzel’s first ever song to chart in the UK... if you can even call it his song. We’ll see Ty more later as we get higher on the chart.

#60 – “Cover Me in Sunshine” – P!nk and Willow Sage Heart

Produced by the Struts

Okay, so this is a song by P!nk with her young child daughter... Hmm, okay, so this is a ballad relying on acoustic guitar picking and some really ugly echoed percussion as well as two voices that go from meshing not at all to meshing too well together for voices 30 years apart. I’d like to end it here because this song really isn’t interesting past the novelty factor and some strange mixing in the first verse especially but as a bland uplifting “Fight Song”-type song, I guess it works though I don’t know about you but if I were going through a global pandemic right now with no real source of income, no end in sight and constant governmental error that’s killing thousands of people nationwide, I wouldn’t want a child who was born into millionaires telling me that it’s all going to be okay... oh, yeah, we are in that situation and I don’t want to hear this at any point, especially because this is generic and frankly, not worth anyone’s time.

#54 – “Mixed Emotions” – Abra Cadabra

Produced by TR the Producer

Okay, so when I said this would be a big week I did not mean or expect that it would be a good week, as we can tell already, but Abra Cadabra is here with a “thugs-need-love-too” track to drive that point home. Apparently a snippet of this went viral before its official release in a Valentine’s Day EP I didn’t know existed, which I honestly don’t get because there’s nothing stand-out about this song, like, at all. It’s got a guitar-based trap beat as Abra Cadabra croons in his admittedly pretty interesting, rich voice but he’s not saying anything interesting and this beat is just incompetent, with those badly-mixed swooshing sound effects that come in way too many times, and the fact that half the song is lacking percussion for no reason other than to make the beat sound busier than it is, even when it already has that ugly acoustic guitar lick playing through the whole thing in the front of the mix and... yeah, what’s the point in really critiquing this? Abra can’t even really hold much of a flow, especially in the meandering second verse, so not much of value is lost when this inevitably drops out next week.

#53 – “Big” – Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna

Produced by Mike Hawkins, Toby Green, Spenser, Sam Martin, David Guetta and Imanbek

This is the lead single – if you can call it that – from a trainwreck of a collaborative EP by COVID-19 super-spreader Rita Ora and everyone’s favourite Kazakh DJ, Imanbek, who seems to be chasing hits here with no real gain. You can already tell this is going to be hilariously bad, right? There are four primary artists seemingly picked out of a hat who had never collaborated prior to this EP, with two vocalists that would not mesh at all, and two producers... as well as four others to engineer this mix out so that the actual DJs and producers here become pretty much in name only. So, this is an already pointless song in all capacities, but then we find out that Ed Sheeran had a hand in writing this... this is just prepped for disaster. Fittingly, the song’s bad in a hilariously boring way. It starts with a bassy synth lead and some generic house production before Rita Ora comes in with a really unconvincing delivery that does not help to propel some genuinely bad singing in the pre-chorus and awkward songwriting. “Blame it on the city how I’m ballin’”? “Big tanks looking like Transformers”? It’s even funnier when you note that that line is where the beat cuts out (kind of) and it doesn’t rhyme with the rest of the verse at all. There’s some really bad vocal processing that makes Rita Ora sound overly digitised, much like a lot of Imanbek’s production, but also emphasises her in the mix along with the vocal mixing being generally overly loud compared to the rest of the production, which doesn’t really have a proper drop so it just goes nowhere other than a brief drum fill that comes out of nowhere and serves no real purpose. Rita Ora delivers rap clichés or at least lines I’ve heard before in the most generic possible way in the second verse, with as much charisma as Gunna’s literally phoned-in verse, mixed awfully, where the beat doesn’t even dignify his existence by just staying on the build-up and not even properly giving him the trap breakdown that it’s clearly going for. There’s this one stray kick or 808 note in that verse that goes nowhere. It’s honestly hilarious how dreadful this song is, lacking any groove or punch that it would need to become even a guilty pleasure... if you still use that term, anyway. Just fascinating. Anyway, let’s get to the top 40.

#39 – “CANCELLED” – slowthai featuring Skepta

Produced by SAMO, Kelvin Krash and Kwes Darko

Yeah, okay, so this song isn’t great either. Although I’m glad slowthai is in the top 40, it won’t be for long and it’s not because of Ty. It’s because this is a Skepta song through and through. He does the hook, has a verse and a presence on the intro and post-chorus. It’s probably good that it is as well because Skepta does the best he can with his menacing delivery over a pretty weak flute-trap beat that sounds as sleepy as Skepta’s flow on the chorus, which is even more awkward when it takes a left turn for an unnecessary post-chorus. Ty brings energy here and some pretty funny lines but is overall a non-presence on his own song, being over-shadowed by the bass knock and interrupted by Skepta’s hook at the end of his verse. Skepta brings a better verse, with some genuinely really fun flow switches but nothing content wise to make this song that’s already barely two minutes feel like it adds anything to... well, anything. The song itself is trying to prove a heavy-handed yet misguided point about cancel culture, which I don’t think even exists, and how it “kills art” when in reality anything further than stans or trolls on Twitter is probably deserved. When a book shop stops selling J.K. Rowling books, it’s not because they’re silencing or censoring art as much as they are not giving profits to a terrible person with too much time and money on their hands. Thankfully, neither of these guys are terrible people but what backlash they have had has been either from a deserved place or not from the left. There was an incident at an awards show with Katherine Ryan that didn’t get him cancelled but got Ty some brief backlash. Everybody swiftly moved on, and nothing changed except I think he delivered some kind of apology, not that I would remember because this song retcons whatever regret he has for it. He also got some backlash from the British news media – see: the right-wing – from displaying a severed head of Boris Johnson on stage, but again, if backlash “killed art”, you wouldn’t have a #1 album. As much as it wants to be a middle-finger to cancel culture, it ends up as a worthless flex track from rappers who’ve done much better. It’s not bad at all – and I’m glad the guy’s having success (I mean, after all, the album is overall good and he’s a fellow Northamptonshire resident). I just don’t think this song really works at all for what it’s trying to do.

#35 – “Siberia” – Headie One featuring Burna Boy

Produced by TheElements and AoD

This is an awfully rap-centric episode, huh? Well, this is from the deluxe edition of Headie’s album Edna, because that trend’s not going away any time soon... and I think Abra Cadabra could learn from this because this is how you do a low-key guitar trap single, with those watery, almost Blink-182-esque acoustic loops under a somewhat off-kilter trap beat as Headie mumbles in his smoother voice and faster, fun flows that do remind me too much of Gunna but overall sound pretty great. The cadences, especially in the chorus, are pretty infectious, and honestly the song could just use with some refinement in the mixing category and with Burna Boy’s verse, as whilst the singer definitely delivers the energy here, his voice is particularly muddy in this mix and his flow is more janky. With some multi-tracking or backing ad-libs, this could have definitely sounded better. The strings and electric guitar that come in at the final chorus were a welcome surprise though, and Burna Boy’s soulful delivery on the final outro verse sounds better than his actual verse, so I don’t really know what went wrong here. The content isn’t all too interesting, but I’m a sucker for geography references so the hook would have always made me chuckle and that’s before the shallow but deserved political commentary in Headie’s verse as well as Burna Boy making... perhaps insensitive references to infections in his more Young Thug-like inflections that do sound fun and more out-there as a contrast to Headie keeping it a bit tighter. Yeah, this isn’t perfect but it’s a pretty good trap banger so check it out.

#27 – “UK Hun?” – United Kingdolls

Produced by Freddy Scott and Leland

And now in stark contrast, drag queens. I don’t follow RuPaul’s Drag Race at all but I very much understand its appeal, especially now that it’s come to the UK on BBC Three, with I believe Graham Norton at the helm. This is a song from its second season that apparently takes homage from Eurovision for a song which has a title that is literally a pun. “You okay, hun?” but because it’s Britain, it’s UK. Very, very clever. At least it’s up-front right out of the gate so you can expect what will end up as pretty dumb fun... and this is immediately obvious from the intro which introduces you to the chorus: “bing, bang, bong, sing, sang, song, ding, dang, dong, UK, hun”. Okay, so this wasn’t ever going to be a prowess in songwriting, although you’d think there’d be something more here given MNEK’s involvement. Each contestant in the race gets a rap verse here over a pretty rote late 2000s dance-pop beat, with varying levels of charisma but ultimately a lot of energy from people who pretty clearly can’t sing, not that it matters when there’s the Auto-Tune slathered on top of the pre-chorus and chorus. I do feel like I’m separated from the show enough to be completely mystified by this, but really, the song’s not bad, and I can dig the upbeat synths in the chorus, even if the childlike novelty of it makes it a lot less enjoyable to me, personally. At the end of the day, it’s a sugary pop song about confidence with a pretty great fourth verse about loving yourself for who you are, so I can’t hate that. Also “gender-bender, cis-tem offender” is kind of a bar.

#25 – “We’re Good” – Dua Lipa

Produced by Scott Harris, Emily Warren and SLY

Future Nostalgia is a great album, and like all great albums, it needs a mediocre deluxe edition with snippets of leftover, unfinished tracks and remixes... no, wait, no album ever needs that. Sadly, life doesn’t go my way all of the time, so Dua released a “Moonlight Edition”, the fifth version of the album to be released as far as I know, and other than a hilarious JID collaboration in the form of “Not My Problem”, it’s not worth listening to past the first 11 tracks that were already on the standard edition. This track is the worst of them all, stripping away any of the disco groove and grandiose strings that defined the vibe of the album for a really bland, vaguely tropical trap-pop tune. The only remnant of the disco theme is the chorus referencing cocaine, which seems bizarrely out of character if anything, although it doesn’t help that Dua sounds checked-out, especially on the verses but also on the chorus which definitely takes some inspiration from emo-pop in those guitar tones but not in those awkward, first-take vocal deliveries that make the chorus flow pretty awfully. This songwriting is consistently janky too, with the overly short bridge serving no real purpose and the song itself feeling like an under-written, over-produced waste of everyone’s time. I’m surprised Dua couldn’t debut higher than #25, but at the same time I understand why people aren’t enjoying this as much as the prior singles, because this is bad.

#23 – “Commitment Issues” – Central Cee

Produced by mokuba

This guy is just releasing a bunch of singles and squandering any potential I saw in him, huh? Well, okay, this is from an upcoming album but that doesn’t make its acoustic guitar loops any more interesting or the content any more dissonant from its hard-hitting UK drill beat and his aggressive delivery. Like, there’s nothing about his flow or the instrumental that makes sense for a song where he’s apologising to his ex and trying to convince her to come back to him... at all. I’d get annoyed by a song that’s not cohesive in its content, but this one is annoyingly so, with the content never giving a reason for the dark, menacing 808 slides other than the... arguments with the woman he describes in the hook? It does kind of work with the flow there, but, like... why? Why does this exist? This isn’t convincing, it can’t be a banger because of its overly-specific break-up themes and it’s just a mess of a song, not helped by the fact he goes off trailing in the second verse about how many “hoes” he has, which is honestly kind of funny given in the first verse, he acknowledges that his ex hates those types of lyrics. Man, Central Cee was onto something with the jazz-drill on “Loading”, where did any of that go?

#12 – “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

The original “Love Story” is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs. There’s something so sweet and Mew Mew Power about it. I don’t know if that’ll work as an adjective for anyone else but what I’m saying is it really emphasises the inner “white teenage girl in the 2000s” that many have hidden in them, with its cute banjo intro and honestly kind of funny misinterpretation of the original Romeo & Juliet text, none of which has been fixed in this new version. Out of the stuff I’ve heard from the country-pop era of Taylor’s work, it’s definitely one of the catchiest, most melodramatic choruses, probably second to my favourite from this era, “Mine”. Well, this new version has to be made so that Taylor Swift can own the rights again to her music that Scooter Braun sold after she left the Big Machine label. Honestly, I think I prefer a younger Taylor Swift in the context of such a cutesy, pretty song with all its childlike novelties – I mean, a 30-year-old Taylor Swift won’t misremember details from Shakespearean texts. Not to say that she sounds bad here because she sounds great, especially over the more refined, modern production and the incredible strings in the chorus that are emphasised in this mix. I can’t say that much of a cover that takes the original and does exactly the same thing with it, just with a more modern instrumental that honestly has a pretty epic instrumental bridge. Ultimately, this is taking a great song and making it sound better and more accessible for an audience a decade or so detached from the original “Love Story” and it sounds pretty great doing it.

#2 – “Calling My Phone” – Lil Tjay and 6LACK

Produced by Non Native, Bordeaux and G. Ry

This chart week ended up being less of a beast to tackle than I thought it was, mostly because there are a couple good fun songs sprinkled in the range of mediocrity here. Now this is the final song to discuss and... this is just as inexplicable as “drivers license”. If it weren’t for the streaming numbers, I’d be convinced this is an error and this should have been switched with the second-highest debut, as it makes no sense for Lil Tjay and 6LACK to debut at the #2 spot in the UK. For context, Lil Tjay is an Auto-Tune crooner from the Bronx, in a similar vein to a Lil Tecca or A Boogie wit da Hoodie, who I thought would completely disappear post-“Pop Out” given he seemed to be on the Lil Tecca route as most of his other singles just couldn’t stick the landing other than I guess “F.N.”. Admittedly, that might be because they were pretty bad, and I think he actually kind of ruined “Pop Out” by killing its momentum with his non-existent presence and gross Auto-Tune whine, but he seems to have gotten a lot of traction since then from a posthumous Pop Smoke record as he wastes time on “Mood Swings”, which became a pretty massive hit for Tjay and the late Pop Smoke, with a lot more longevity than I expected, even though it was my personal least favourite on that posthumous album. 6LACK is more for the alternative and hip-hop head crowd, known less for his street bangers than he is for his smooth alternative R&B collaborations with guys like J. Cole. He has mainstream attention and has tried to cross over before, but ultimately he’s probably better guest-starring on robotic Gorillaz singles with Elton John of all people... or at least that’s what I thought, because they seem to have just released a single with no real promo other than TikTok previews and a music video, and it blew up immensely almost immediately. Maybe it’s good timing given Valentine’s Day but this seems like a combination of weak charts and a genuinely organic sudden hit, pushed by a label of course but not without word of mouth and... I don’t know, I’m kind of clueless on why this is so big here, and seemingly everywhere, but I’m not complaining. Wait, no, I am complaining because I’m not a fan at all. I can go for smoother, more soulful R&B but something about this is way too jagged for it to work for me, with Tjay delivering some pretty bored, mumbled crooning over melancholy pianos and an infectious but off-beat chipmunk vocal sample that acts a refrain because nothing Lil Tjay does is catchy enough. His verse is really sloppy, as is the piano, and the percussion is kind of just gross in how it’s mixed. Thankfully, 6LACK is here for some brief relief on the second verse, as he actually has a presence with his cruising, subtle multi-tracked delivery that sounds genuinely pretty great and would be at better use with bass that isn’t mastered like this and maybe an actual chorus. In fact, I think this would work as a UK garage song with that vocal sample if you speed up the whole track and add some actual groove to it, so someone please get on that because otherwise I don’t see any reason why this is so high. It’s just lethargic R&B, really just basic and tired.

Conclusion

Yeah, this was a big week but sadly I think it is shrouded in a lot of mediocrity that I think will be gone by next week, so whilst the UK chart chaos can be fun, especially when I’ve got nothing else to do, I’m not sure if any of these songs really stick. Best of the Week goes to Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Love Story” with a really close Honourable Mention in slowthai’s “MAZZA” featuring A$AP Rocky, just hedging out Headie One. With the worst, we have a lot to choose from but because of its high debut and hence the expected hype, I’ll give Worst of the Week to “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK, with tied Dishonourable Mentions to “Big” by Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna, and honestly Central Cee’s “Commitment Issues” for not working on any level, though it really easily could have gone to Dua Lipa, P!nk or Abra Cadabra. Here’s this week’s top 10:

Honestly, I have no idea what’s coming for next week other than Ariana Grande’s deluxe edition. Maybe Trippie Redd’s pop-punk album can make somewhat of a splash? I don’t know, I don’t think anything too big is coming but I’m probably wrong. I just know that a lot of this’ll be gone by next week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you feel the need to do so and I’ll see you next week.

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capitainecorbeau · 7 years ago

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Game recs : Yggdra Union

And we’re back for another one, and this time, it’s an rpg, like I promised ! More specificly it’s a pretty unique tactical rpg, Yggdra Union : We’ll Never Fight Alone.

Yggdra union came out for the GBA in 2006, and a HD remake came out for the PSP in 2008. It was developped by sting, and distributed by atlus. It’s the second entry in Sting’s Dept Heaven series, which currently has four games and two spin-offs. It’s been on hiatus since 2012, however.

The story starts out pretty classic : you follow Yggdra, the princess of Fantasinia, who had to flee after her country was invaded and her family killed. While on the run, she meets with Milanor, a young thief, who offers to help defeating the invading empire in exchange for Yggdra’s castle. And along the way, they of course assemble a buch of quirky characters (including but not limited to : a royal knight, a kid mermaid named after a german philosopher (?), a magician, a somewhat incompetent freedom fighter) to fight with them.

The writing is overall pretty good. There are some issues with it (like some dramatic moments or difficult desicions that fall flat because it feels like we don’t have enough information), but otherwise it’s fairly solid. What I really liked was that the writers didn’t shy away from giving the main characters difficult and morally ambiguous choices (which not everyone agree on, and that’s a really nice touch). The protagonist aren’t pure and perfect, and people who disagree with them aren’t all portrayed as evil. They’re all people put in difficult situations who try to act as they see best, and actions that are morally ambiguous are treated as such. It mostly avoids protagonist-centered-morality, and it’s really refreshing.

And your enemies also come with a wide array of personnalities and moral compasses ! Some are irreedemably evil, some have sympathetic motivations, and some are just plainly good people. Like I said, there are a few times the writing can be hit or miss, but for the most part it knows what story it wants to tell and how to tell it. And they manage to give all your characters clear motivations and personnality, despite most of them not getting much screen time (one of the pitfalls of tactical rpgs that the game doesn’t manage to avoid).

But the part where the game really shine is the gameplay ! As I said, it’s a tactical rpg, and a fairly unique one at that. The core of the game is rather close to a Fire Emblem game (you move on a grid, there’s some terrain bonuses, a weapon triangle, the enemy and your units are the same classes, etc), but there lots of elements that add themselves onto that.

The biggest one (so big it made it into the title) is the ability to form “unions”, aka pulling surrounding units into the fight. Instead of picking one enemy at at time, you can pull all your army and the enemy’s into one huge battle (though units still fight one on one). If you play your cards (litterally) right, you can take out huge chunks of the opposing army in one go. This is the meat and bones of the game, and it’s really fun. It makes fights feel much more intense and important.

The second biggest mechanics is cards (see what I did earlier). Cards determine your range of movement, how much damage you’ll deal (though it’s influenced by other things also), and also serve as special attacks. There are a lot of them, and they’re all pretty different from one another (some boost your stats, some nerf the enemies, some do flat damage, some inflict status effects, some nullify damage etc).

What I really like about the gameplay as a whole is that it’s very complex, yet very well held together. There are a few gimmicks here and there, but for the most part, every element is important to consider. As a result, there are lots of different strategies you can try, and you can get pretty creative (for example, you can completely nullify a character’s disadvantage against another unit with the right combination of skiils and items). It makes the game pretty fun to replay because there’s lots of new tactics you can try out ! The the game does an excellent job at easing you into it, they don’t dump every single gameplay element on you in one go.

Another thing that really stands out about this game is the general presentation. The art style is really original, and personnaly I love it. There’s this sense of slightly chaotic energy emanating from it, and while the designs can get a bit busy, there’s still readable (though I will say the the menus can be pretty messy and cluttured, and that it can be a problem). The art (by Satoko Kiyuduki) was what initially caught my attention and made me want to play the game, actually. The spritework is also pretty smooth (especially in the psp remake). Also there is this design :

Look at that badass armor. Look at it.

The music is nice too ! Some of the map themes can get a bit repetitive or blend into each other, but the battle music is memorable (and the nice touch is, every player unit gets their very own leitmotif ! Important enemies do, too).

Difficulty wise, the game is pretty tough. It’s not too unfair however, there is an option to lower a map’s difficulty if you’re struggling, and the psp remake added diffuculty levels and rebalanced things out. Speaking of which, I highly recommand the psp version over the gba one : it’s got better graphics, music, more balanced gameplay, new maps and characters. And voice acting ! Both in japanese and in english. (but the gba version is still fun, and worth checking out !)

And well, there you go ! This game is still a favorite of mine even after all this time, and I heartily recommend you try it out ! It’s a fun experience. And if you enjoy the gaplay, you can check out the two spinoff, Blaze Union and Gloria Union ! (I can’t speak for the story of these two however because they were never released outside of japan and I don’t speak japanese.)

#game recs #yggdra union #game babbles #holy shit this has been sitting in my drafts for months

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onceandfuturekiki · 7 years ago

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There are only a few more days until Christmas, and I always get questions around this time of year about lesser known classic Christmas movies. I figured I’d put together and share a little list, in case anyone was looking for something beyond the usual fare during the next few days.

Remember the Night is my favorite Christmas movie. Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray were a really great team, but most people only know them from the noir Double Indemnity, but they made this really sweet comedy/drama years beforehand. Stanwyck plays a theif on trial right before Christmas, and MacMurray is the prosecuter who gets a continuance because he doesn't want the jury to feel soft and sympathetic because of the Christmas season and acquit her. His guilt gets the best of him, though, and he pays her bail, offering to drop her off at her childhood home on his way to visit his family in Indiana. Her visit home goes poorly, though, so he takes her with him to celebrate Christmas with his family, and during the course of their visit they fall in love. This is one of Stanwyck's very best performances. She was so good at combining that hard, tough persona with a softer, more empathetic side. Remember the Night is a Christmas movie about second chances, changing your perceptions, and accepting people into your family even if they aren't perfect.

Ginger Rogers' and Joseph Cotten's characters in I'll Be Seeing You are not the typical lead characters you'd find in a Christmas romance. Rogers plays a woman who's in prison for accidentally killing a man who was attacking her, and Cotten plays a soldier who's suffering from PTSD. She's received a furlough to visit her family for the holiday season, and he's been released on a sort of trial basis to see if he's ready to re-enter society. They meet on a train and, immediately smitten, hide the truth about their circumstances from each other. Cotten ends up spending the holiday with Rogers' family, and the two fall in love. It's a story about knowing and accepting who you are, even when the rest of the world thinks you're bad and broken, and loving another person for who they are and not who the world says they are, and the acceptance of family.

Another Ginger Rogers Christmas movie, Bachelor Mother is one of the many under-appreciated films she made without Fred Astaire in the 1930s. She's a single woman who gets fired from her job at a department store just before Christmas. When she finds a woman leaving a baby on the steps of an orphanage, the people working there think she's the mother. She decides to go along with it because it leads to the son of the store's owner, David Niven, getting her job back for her. Rogers comes to love the baby as much as if it was her own, and Niven starts to spend a lot of time with them, feeling a sort of responsibility toward them. It's a lovely, rather subtle take on the idea of the virgin birth, and Rogers and Niven made for a great pair. I really wish they had made more movies together.

Witches usually fit better with Halloween, but they fit perfectly into a fun, quirky Christmas in Bell, Book, and Candle. Witches aren't supposed to fall in love, if they do they lose their powers. This becomes a problem for Kim Novak when she casts a spell to get James Stewart to fall in love with, as revenge against an old rival. Eventually it starts to become more for her, putting her very much at risk of losing her magic, and whether or not it's just the spell that's keeping Stewart with her, or if he's actually falling in love with her, comes into question. Stewart and Novak were great together in the dark, moody Hitchcock classic Vertigo (which has recently started to usurp Citizen Kane as the greatest film of all time - it was #1 on Sight and Sound's most recent list), but it's nice to see them in something lighter and more fun.

Before she was known for thrillers like Psycho and Touch of Evil, Janet Leigh made a quiet little Christmas movie called Holiday Affair. Her costar was Robert Mitchum, who's also remembered for darker movies, like Out of the Past and Night of the Hunter. Seeing them in a sweet, simple holiday love story is a nice change of pace. Leigh plays a comparative shopper and war widow who costs Mitchum his job at a department store when he gives her a refund and fails to report her. This leads her to feel responsible for him during the holiday season, and he becomes close to her and her son. I love that this movie focuses just as much on the relationship between Leigh and her son as they continue to struggle with the loss of her husband. It's also nice to see a love triangle where the obvious "losing" party isn't a jerk and just wants to woman he loves to be happy.

The Thin Man is a fairly well known film, but it's not usually cited as a film for the Christmas season. It's a comedy mystery, based on the novel by Dashiell Hammett, with William Powell playing a detective who has married a wealthy socialite and is trying to stay out of the detective game. He gets pulled back in when an old friend of his goes missing, and his wife, Myrna Loy, wants to go along for the ride. Obviously, the focus is on the mystery, but it takes place during Christmas, and we get great holiday scenes, like a raucous Christmas party at the pair's home, and lovely scene where they exchange Christmas gifts.

Christmas in Connecticut is another holiday film with Barbara Stanwyck. In this one she plays a woman who writes a column about being a married homemaker with kids, even though she's neither. When her publisher demands that she host Christmas at her home for a wounded soldier, she has to create the facade of the life she's passed herself off as having. She uses the house of her wealthy fiancee, who she says she's married to, brings her chef friend along to make it look like she can cook, and tries to pass of local babies for which she's babysitting as her own. But the act starts to fall apart when she falls in love with the soldier, who's played by Dennis Morgan. It's a pretty classic romantic comedy setup, set during the holidays. And it's another film where the third side of a love triangle isn't an asshole and ultimately wants the woman he loves to be happy.

Beyond Tomorrow is a charming little Christmas movie that's a sort of ghost story romance. The cast is made up of veteran actors and B-list stars, who make up a really wonderful, underrated ensemble. When nobody shows up to their Christmas Even dinner, Harry Carey, C. Aubrey Smith, and Charles Winninger try to find kind, genuine people to be their new guests. They find Richard Carlson and Jean Parker. They all become good friends, and Carlson and Parker fall in love. After the three men die in a plane crash, their ghosts work to keep the couple together, even when it seems like nothing can stop them from falling apart. Beyond Tomorrow is in the public domain, so it's pretty easy to find online, even on Youtube, but it might be hard to find a version with good video quality.

An underseen and underappreciated screwball comedy, The Cheaters is a Christmas movie about a greedy, selfish family, who spend the holidays trying to make themselves look good while they're also desperately trying to get an inheritance from their uncle. The uncle left all of his money to a show girl, played by Ona Munson, who they try to keep in the dark about the situation by taking her to their isolated house when they find out that the money will go to them of she doesn't claim it in a certain amount of time. In an attempt to make impress her boyfriend, the daughter of the family, played by Ruth Gilles, decides to take in a charity case for the holiday. She chooses Joseph Schildkraut, a washed up actor, who knows something fishy is going on and threatens to uncover the family's deceptions. The Pidgeon family is portrayed as a bunch of selfish Scrooges, who spend the holiday season worrying about all the wrong things.

If you're looking for something darker to watch during the holidays, Lady in the Lake might be what you're looking for. It's a pretty dark film noir set during the Christmas season, with Robert Montgomery playing the famous detective Philip Marlowe. Montgomery also directed the film, using a very creative first person POV, placing the viewers in the role of the detective. While the holiday season doesn't play an essential role in the story, it's always present, surrounding everything that happens and providing a sharp contrast to the darkness of the mystery.

The titular character of The Man Who Came to Dinner is played by Monty Wooley, who plays a notorious and quarrelsome radio star who slips on the steps of an Ohio family and has to recuperate at their home during the holidays. He's rude and insulting, but his meddling in the family's lives starts to have some positive outcomes. Not so positive, though, is his meddling in the budding relationship between his assistant, Bette Davis, and a newspaperman/playwrite, played by Richard Travis. Scared that Davis will quit, he tries to keep the two apart by getting an actress, played by Ann Sheridan, to seduce Travis away. It's a classic holiday story where almost everyone learns something, and learns to be better people.

Christmas Eve is a holiday drama that's light and funny at points, and much darker at others, with Reginald Denny playing the shady nephew of a wealthy older woman, played by Ann Harding. He wants to have her declared mentally incompetent so that he can take control of her finances and money. A doctor and judge, recognizing that Denny is pretty damn shady, give Harding the opportunity to try to get her long lost adopted sons, George Raft, George Brent, and Randolph Scott together for Christmas Eve so that one of them, who might be more trustworthy, can take over her estate. The film is split into three segments, where we the lives of each of the three sons, and discover that none of them are doing particularly well and that they're all seriously flawed. Eventually the stories converge at the Christmas Eve gathering, where family is reunited and the redemption stories of the sons come to their closing point.

Another dark Christmas film is Christmas Holiday, which has Deanna Durbin, who usually starred in romantic musicals, and Gene Kelly, who would go on to star in mostly romantic musicals, starring in a Christmas-themed film noir. Durbin plays a woman who falls in love with Gene Kelly, a member of wealthy Southern family. Kelly is unstable and becomes violent and abusive, eventually killing a bookie. The family tries to cover it up, dragging Durbin into the mess. When Kelly eventually goes to jail for the crime, she feels as though it's her fault, and tries to start a new life in New Orleans. It's there that she meets a soldier, played by Dean Harrens, on Christmas Eve, and she tells him her story as the two start to fall for each other, not knowing that Kelly has escaped in is trying to get to her. Dark Christmas movies often use the brightness of the holidays as a contrast to the dark stories, and Christmas Holiday is one of the best.

I'm a big fan of the Boston Black movies. They're a series of B films from the 1940s starring former major star Chester Morris. The stories of the films usually revolve around the title character being suspected of a crime he didn't commit. In Alias Boston Blackie, he's suspected of helping someone escape from prison after he entertains the inmates at the place where he used to be imprisoned with a Christmas variety show. The escaped prisoner claims to be innocent, so Blackie sets out to prove both his own innocence and innocence of the escapee. The Boston Blackie movies are generally pretty ridiculous, but they're so much fun, with dialogue reminiscent of screwball comedies. It's a good companion piece to The Thin Man for mystery movie set during the Christmas season.

Hopefully there’s something here you guys might like!

#christmas movies #classic film #classic movies

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goddamnwebcomics · 8 years ago

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Predicting Spinnerette Arcs 26-35

Everyone except very delusional people know that Spinnerette is going downhill. With it’s current asinine plots, the fact the whole comic seemed to lose it’s serious plot-related grasp after Colonel Class arc, and it’s stupid awful artstyle drawn by a guy who keeps altering the designs of characters - let’s call him P. C. Dimbleby - and actual script calls for chibi faces, things aren’t honestly looking good for the Asylum version of Empowered. But hey, Kraw’s printing money with merch involving scantily clad protagonists and porn comics that are canon so nothing’s gonna be a problem for him!

With that said, it’s pretty easy to call what he has in his mind next, and here i will predict the plot of every issue from 26 to 35. Let’s begin.

Issue 26: The Return Of Jara

It’s revealed that before Spinny, Mecha Maid dated a man who was abusive towards her and made her become a lesbian. The said man is now working in the same science lab place as Heather, and the man titled Jara - who looks like a Biff Tannen with classic P.C. Dimbleby hooknose, by pure accident runs into her. Jara grows fondness for Spinny, thinking she is single. After several irritating catcalls, Heather wants to bring Jara to comfort HER love. Heather forgets that secret identities are a thing that must be protected, and in her futile ALS form, she comes to see Jara again. Jara calls her buzzwords which are meant to make audience angry, allowing Heather to transform into Spinny and beat the crap out of him. Mecha likes it for some reason and they get away with it, because turns out Jara had been stealing scientific tools from the lab in order to make moonshine and the cops think Spinny was beating him up for that reason. Their relationship “develops” and Kraw wants to inform you he is not like most guys and he is single ladies.

Issue 27: Colonel Glass 2: Part 1

North Korea has done some nuclear tests, which pisses off America and it’s anti-superhero and anti-fun and anti-allthingsKrawlikes president Meanie D. T. Incompetent. He teams up with prime minister of Canada, who is a topical Rob Ford parody despite the fact dude died several years ago, in order to use the “superity” from the local superheroes to recreate Cherenkov-Kirby Reactor or something which could wipe N.K. off the map. However, the superheroes know MORE THAN THAT, Benjamin Franklin returns to reveal the nuclear tests are actually massive attacks performed by Colonel Glass 2. Turns out N.K. had a bodyclone of Colonel Glass in case he would die in his trip, which he did. Benjamin also tells the heroes to watch out for government who are trying to do something with “superity”, we get exposition that the first superhero that did CK reactor basically created superheroism by using his blood to create the reactor, which gave birth to “superity”, more “superity” they have, the stronger they are and so far CK Reactor is the only one that can infect being with “superity” but governments all around the world are looking for other ways to make it. Because governments are hypocrites, says Kraw as he pats himself in the back and thinks he’s about to create the next Brave New World. Superheroes get canadian superfucks to help them because of course they do.

We cut to Colonel Glass 2 doing shit, turns out he shares the memories of Colonel Glass 1, including the memories from before he died? and develops perverse fondness for Mecha Maid, he starts flying towards America as all glass around the world go haywire. Spinny, Mecha Maid, Tiger, London, Minerva, Katt O Nine Tails and Green Gable try to sneak with their supercar when Sergeant Generic notices them, he sends Noob Saibot after them. Meanie D.T. Incompetent finds out about the escapees and proceeds to BOMB THEM AND NOT CARE ABOUT CASUALTIES because that’s how politicians in real life work. Cliffhanger.

Issue 28: Colonel Glass 2: Part 2

Spinny and rest of superheroes survive the attacks and reach the Atlantic, where they bump into a weird group of rejects with really one sided personalities, one is a character meant to point out the flaws of Netflix series Daredevil which Kraw seriously thinks he could write better, other one is a friendly zombie girl and another is a quirky scene girl who licks things and a wacky running gag is that Mecha Maid finds her creepy. They reveal they are South Korean Superheroes who were almost killed by Original Colonel Glass and set up a base in the atlantic. They were before experimented with CK Reactor and therefore have more “superity” than any other superhero on the planet besides Colonel Glass 2. Meanwhile President Incompetent decides to start a war against the entire continent of Asia, considering them all “anime-watching rice eaters who did Pearl Harbour” because Kraw never puts stereotypes in his own characters. American War Fleet flies past the superfucks, and canadians and Tiger stay in the base while the SK heroes and Spinny and Mecha Maid go after them. They all get destroyed in one hit by Colonel Glass 2. Spinny, Mecha Maid and SK heroes somehow survive the blast but turns out it was INTENTIONAL as Colonel Glass 2 finds Mecha Maid to torture her. Spinny is mad. Cliffhanger.

Issue 29: Colonel Glass 2: Part 3

President Meanie D.T. Incompetent has HAD ENOUGH and demands Sergeant Generic to call some abnormal guy to help them set up the CK Reactor Weapon properly that can wipe out CG2. Because world is small, Generic calls Dr. Universe, who agrees to let past be past in face of common threat, but also wants to manipulate them into following their objectivist goals. Mecha Maid wakes up in a dark room, where she gets fed memories and other shit, that Kraw wants you to think resembles sexual harassment geddit Kraw knows your feelings Kraw understands Kraw is a friend. Bullshit happens as Spinny’s anger manifests inside him and transforms him into a giant golden spider creature, one of the SK Superfucks say “this is like Dragon Ball Z episode” and at that point you know where this is fucking going. Spinny tears inside Glass’s base conveniently and a long climactic fight ensues, ending with Glass 2 dying by thermite again. Spinny becomes normal again and wakes up in the SK fleet, where Mecha Maid is mad at her for once again murdering someone. Mecha then cries it was her own fault and crying crying crying. Dr. Universe fools Meanie D.T. Incompetent as he calls Super MILF and Greta Gravity to sex him out of working on the weapons! Ha ha! This is a serious comic!

Issue 30: Boring Prequel

This story is a prequel to the first ever case of “Superity”, which takes place in Wild West, in yet another stupid unimaginative alternate universe twist, Buffalo Bill was a superhero, and from there it’s shown how first CK Reactor was made, but the first superhero whose name i forgot is warned of “them”, who are “they”? You’ll find out soon enough.

Issue 31: Critical Analysis

Spinny has returned home with a bad feeling, and she’s got strange aches all over her body. Turns out the Friendly Zombie Girl is there to investigate upon Spinny as she reveals to her both of them are “Stanisian”, people who are full of “superity” which is just Stanisian blood, and are unable to toggle their powers off. Spinny somehow became stanisian by CK Reactor because before stanisians were only by birth only which intrigues the zombie girl. She reveals what happened in the last arc was her exposing her “Ultra Stanisian Power” which only comes into effect over strong stress. Heather also finds out Stanisians never die, as SK zombie girl was the first child of Genghis Khan. Stanisians have existed since humanity’s beginning, but only when CK Reactor was created, humans could get “superity” AKA Stanisian blood too. The reason most humans don’t know about them is because they’re the mortal enemy of “Enlightened”, perfect humans who have ability to manipulate people and are omnipotent but don’t have superpowers, Enlightened have controlled the world by their secret society - you guessed it - the Illuminati since the old times in order to wipe out Stanisians but they always fail.

First thing Spinny realizes after all of this is that, she can cure Mecha Maid by transforming her into Stanisian! Friendly Zombie Girl advices this is not a good idea because exposing a human to too much superity could kill them, and types like Heather are a rarity. Spinny can’t convince Mecha though, who just gets madder so Spinny asks help from Universe. Universe reveals he knew about Stanisians all along and he constructed CK Reactor so that he could in fact turn more people into them so that the Illuminati could be taken down. It’s revealed Ayn Rand was against the Illuminati and the infamy of the book is a pop culture propaganda. What. They begin working on it. Cliffhanger.

Issue 32: The Lesbian Torment

Adrastea and Sara NIcole meet on same jailcell, they fall in love because Sara Nicole hasn’t eaten her anti-gay bagels. Their relationship is meant to be “different” as in, “it’s same shit as Mecha’s and Spinny’s relationship, except they’re both more aggressive”. They fool the guards by making out and escape.

Issue 33: Critical Analysis Part 2:

Dr. Universe takes a bit of blood from Friendly Zombie Girl as she has finished the POCKET SIZED CK REACTOR. Then government rushes in with Sergeant Generic on helm and Universe as well as Spinny get arrested. They’re taken in front of Illuminati, who are ready to literally wipe them out of existence because oh cool Kraw read 1984 just now. Friendly Zombie Girl wasn’t arrested and Greta takes her to bite Mecha Maid, curing her by all of her fucking problems and she becomes Ultra Stanisian, saving Spinny and Universe. Illuminati finds out THE INFESTATION IS SPREADING. At this point it’s also revealed N.K. Government is actually propaganda’d as shitty dictator state because they refused to join the New World Order and is the only state ran by Stanisians.

Issue 34: War Of Minds

A kickstarted exclusive story focusing on SK Superheroes, with Daredevil potshotter dating the other. Boring.

Issue 35: Revenge of Revenge

Life has become harder for Spinny to keep double identities when Sara Nicole and Adrastea butt in to cause chaos. Adrastea wants to nuke science facilities while Sara Nicole wants everyone to like her. They nag like an arguing couple, isn’t that funny. It ends with Mecha Maid dying as Spinny cries, when she wakes up to find out it has all been a drug-induced dream and she remembers when she went to comfort Mecha Maid after Colonel Glass Arc, she threw Heather off the bed and beat the ever-living shit out of her, before she got a massive heart attack and passed away, with her last words being “I wish i never met you.” Heather wants to go back into these dreams when she finds out she’s been carried to hospital, where Sahira states that she’s been diagnozed with a rare variation of ALS that is contagious. Haw haw.

#spinnerette #blogpost

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