#and entitles you to block any person or tag that will make your online experience better

[ratballet]

if i can be totally honest The Copiiia Drama makes me insane because it's the most Nothing controversy of all time 😭 if you're looking at fanworks where copia and terzo aren't related (which is like 97% of them!) then what you have after that is a Normal Ass m/m Ship. that's literally just two guys. 😭 it's.... nothing. people ship them because they're the two most famous and popular frontmen and it's fun to imagine them in the fictional setting together. we are working with fragments of canon that mostly exist for the purpose of stage banter and tour announcements. it is JUST NOT THAT DEEP

[blitzwhore]

I just saw Blitzø get called Stolas stockholm victim I can't with this fandom anymore😭

😂 As outrageously incorrect and stupid as that take is, I'm going to go on a tangent here. I hope you don't mind.

I think every fandom has annoying people with awfully terrible takes in it. People with zero media literacy. People who hatewatch. People who think they're entitled to the exact show they would've wanted, which has nothing to do with the actual, existing show.

This is especially true for queer media, and especially true for queer cartoons. (Hi, yes. I was active in the Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Voltron, and She-Ra fandoms when those shows were airing, respectively. I've seen some stuff). Some people just can't handle queer cartoons, period. If the queer characters/ships are soft and wholesome, they're infantilising and boring, and if they're complex and nuanced and actually have conflict, they're abusive and problematic. You'll hear the same recycled arguments over and over again. Like, the shit some people are saying about Blitz and Stolas after The Full Moon? Is literally almost word-for-word what they said about Catra and Adora post-season 3 of She-Ra (and even at the end of the show).

Here's the thing, though! Those people and their bad takes are not what I want to think about what I think about a fandom. Those aren't the people I want to call the fans. They don't deserve that title. Not when so many other people are out there dedicating their time to making gifs and art and meta posts, and writing fic, and commenting/reblogging to show support, and sliding into people's DMs to scream and squee together about a thing they love.

At the end of the day, "fandom" is just a lot of people each doing their own thing. Which people you engage with and allow to stay within your line of sight will determine your fandom experience. Fandom can be a huge, convoluted, online space full of people who are constantly arguing with one another and whose takes make you unfathomably angry... Or it can be you and your 5 friends and mutuals who scream gleefully at one another in 2-note posts. You can't control what others post online, but you can control your engagement with it.

How? Well, here's what I personally do to avoid getting upset by people's stupid opinions online:

Filter 'critical' and 'anti' tags (eg. #anti stolitz #anti vivziepop #Helluva Boss critical #HB critical #vivziepop critical). Many people actually do tag their critical posts because they know it's the respectful thing to do!

If I come across a post that has one or more of those tags, obviously, I don't click through to see it under any circumstances.

If I stumble across a stranger's untagged post with hate/criticism that upsets me: I stop reading and BLOCK. Immediately. I don't look back. I don't finish reading. I don't engage. I just block block block. I <3 the block button, seriously.

If I feel my mind reeling from a bad take I just came across: I take a step back, close my phone, breathe, remember life is beautiful sometimes. Go back and watch an episode I really like. Clean my living space a little. Vent about it to a friend (but only if I really need to, because if not, I'd rather not dwell on it).

If I'm starting to feel the need to reply to someone's bad take (directly or via my own post), I instead make the decision to channel that energy into making fandom posts out of love. (I don't do this just with fandom. If I see something transphobic online, I usually react by reblogging a bunch of trans art or trans positivity posts on my main, for example). I like to think of it as putting some positivity out into the world to compensate for the negativity I just saw. So, for example, if I see someone shitting on my blorbo, I may make a silly post just saying how much I love blorbo. Or I'll make (or draft) a post about how interesting I find some of blorbo's actions. Or reblog another person's positive/interesting post about blorbo.

And finally, I stay the hell away from Twitter. Or at least, if I go on Twitter, I try my best to avoid any tweet that has text in it instead of just art. Even the people who have good opinions spend too much time arguing with the people who have bad opinions on there. I don't want to see people's bad takes! No, not even while reading founded and perfectly articulated criticism of those bad takes! So I just limit my time on Twitter. And again, if someone is putting bad takes on my TL (even if it is to counter them), I unfollow and block as needed.

All this to say, yes, it really fucking sucks to read the opinions of people who don't understand and who hate the characters and ships and worlds you love. Gosh it's the worst. But you can curate your fandom experience. You can focus on the things you can control. You have the power to decide if your fandom experience is draining or fun!

And because I don't know how to finish this, here, have a Stolitz kiss to heal you:

We will keep winning and there's nothing the haters can do about it. 😌

[raayllum]

I’m sorry how is arc 2 not about aaravos? Everything about the show leads back to aaravos. The whole lore of the show is centered around aaravos. And it is absolutely titled the mystery of aaravos because it does plan on dealing with the mystery of aaravos in every possible way, and that has infact been confirmed by the showrunners on multiple instances. Aaravos is just as, if not more of a main character than rayllum in the ways that count because everything going on revolves around him. 

And since he’s an EXTREMELY important character, how is it not justified for fans of him to want more screen time of him? 

I’m sorry but not everything about the show revolves around rayllum and you shouldn’t call people out just for wanting to see more of their favorite character.

God forbid something about aaravos is actually about aaravos and not rayllum for once 💀💀

Actually I can and do call people out for wanting to see more of their favourite character when it causes them to be entitled / unfair to the broader story they want to tell. If you haven't been doing those things, then that post wasn't about you, but given the way you put your best foot forward here, I might go out on a limb and guess this might be behaviour you display sometimes, and it may be worth reconsidering.

As a bit of background:

My favourite character in a TV show was once a side character who was in 1/4 seasons, and one episode in the final season, and then he never showed up again. which was Okay, because he was a Side Character and it would've been pretty silly for the show to bend over backwards to include him more. Granted, there were opportunities (him and another character were travelling together, then she showed up at a Plot Relevant location without him and it was never addressed) but the show wasn't bad or wrong for not including more. I wasn't owed more screen time just because he was my favourite character, and while any character can Technically be Levelled Up for more screen time and plot relevance, sometimes characters are just there to serve more minor specific purposes, and that's Okay. It's all about adjusting your own expectations and not being an asshole.

Furthermore, given that I posted my personal opinion on my personal blog and only used my personal tags for it, you had two options for finding this post:

It got sent to you, presumably meaning you had someone else to be salty with in a private manner that would've been far more appropriate

You follow(ed) me, in which case you are more than encouraged to unfollow or block me if I have a post/opinion you find annoying or uncouth. Please do so rather than doing whatever This Is in my inbox in the future, it'll likely save you not only time but also embarrassment

The fact you thought going into the inbox of a Virtual Stranger and getting upset about me not thinking your favourite character is the Most Important Character in TDP Ever — because he isn't — in one (1) post is truly baffling to me in terms of 1) curating your internet experience and 2) interacting appropriately with strangers directly online. I've seen a lot of shit opinions in my day, and I vent in private to my fandom friends about it 99.9% of the time, thank you very much, or post about it in my personal tags on my own blog rather than making it someone else's problem.

In the nature of analysis / debate, though, let me clear what I meant considering 4+ people got their trousers in a twist about the idea that Aaravos isn't a main character.

That said, a few quick disclaimers: Aaravos is a very interesting character to me, and I like him a lot. I've written a fair bit about him in regards to how he's a thematic opposite to Harrow, his view of children, what I think happened to his chest piece, speculation on his banishment, his parallels to Finnegrin, his mythic connections to aspects of the Fae + Egyptian and Greek mythology, his foil relationship to Rayla, his characterization and motifs/symbols. So it's not as though I don't enjoy him or don't think he's important to the story. He is, he's just not a main character nor the most important. Moving on:

Secondly: it seems maybe my meaning of macguffin is getting misconstrued. A story Macguffin is a plot device that drives the story forward. Sometimes it's a character (R2D2 in star wars has to be transported from one dangerous location to safety because he has blue print plans), sometimes it's an object (the one ring, fetch quests, etc). Either way, the story is centralized around 1) characters competing for ownership or safe guarding of said person/thing and 2) through that competition or competing needs, the characterization of the main cast is revealed.

In Arc 1, Zym is the plot Macguffin. He overall has very little personality even once hatched beyond being sweet, occasionally helpful, and scared. He is the titular character, and his existence matters, but mostly because he serves as a motivational point for the characters. Claudia, Soren, and Viren want to stop Zym from getting back to Xadia; Rayla, Callum, and Ezran, want to help him get back.

Zym himself does not drive episodes forward. He rarely makes decisions that impact the main group. His existence or fears cause them to make decisions (they go looking for help because they dropped his egg; Rayla and Callum have to go after Nyx because she stole him) but he is not likewise making decisions for the group. S4 definitely levelled Zym up into him making 1) more independent decisions and 2) having more of his own interior feelings, particularly about his father, but Callum is the one who decides to send him up into the trees; Ezran is the one calling the meeting for Zym to come to Katolis. A couple of exceptions (he has a mini arc about his mom for 2 eps, he has an arc in s2 with Ezran) do not suddenly make Zym a "I'm making decisions that heavily push the plot forward every episode" kind of character.

You'll also note, if you actually read said post you're referencing, that I specified "'the mystery of aaravos' (esp these past two seasons)" and that I never mentioned lore, either, even if I have likewise written about lore extensively (one of my more recent metas on it was about 4.8k words on lore alone, for example).

Aaravos' plot impact was a lot heavier in S2 and particularly S3 than it is in S4 or S5, as he influenced Viren's decisions more heavily and eventually came into more direct conflict with the core protagonists. This is likewise reflected in Aaravos in S2 and S3 being in multiple episodes (half the season in s2, and almost every episode at least a little in s3).

Meanwhile in Arc 2, Aaravos could effectively, unknown to his pawns drop dead after giving Claudia her final instructions pre-S4, and nothing would be affected plot wise, because Arc 2 thus far has mostly been characters fearing his impending release (the main cast) or dealing with the fallout of his actions from S3 (the Sunfire elf plot line). The only thing we'd lose on that level from a "Claudia believes Aaravos is alive and is trying to free him, but he's not actually" is Callum and Rayla's possession plot line, ironically enough given your apparent dislike of them, until the very very end of 5x09 in which he tries to goad Viren into killing SS.

I'm excited for and expecting that to change in S6 and S7, but that doesn't change what S4 and S5 currently are, either. Same thing for Amaya and Janai more so being main characters, Janai in particular, in S4 and S5, but they were not main characters in the first three seasons. That doesn't mean they're not good, meaningful, and important characters for the story, but I'd be a very poor meta writer / have very poor media literacy if I tried to claim that Janai is a main character in arc 1 over say, Callum.

For another example: everything in Avatar: The Last Airbender revolves around Team Avatar wanting to stop Ozai, but Ozai is not a main character in the show. He's there to be a minor character, an endgame big bad, and to affect his children / embody the conflict the characters are up against. The fact that TDP has so many antagonists that are also Main Characters throughout the whole show (Viren, Claudia) is actually pretty rare in media, particularly for children.

The Legend of Zelda games usually revolve around Link wanting to save or free Zelda, and while certain games flesh her out and make her more developed into a main character, the central character of the narrative is Link, because he's the character we follow the most.

Additionally, the Importance of a character in a narrative has no bearing on whether they're your favourite, or even necessarily whether they're a 'good' / 'well written' character. Rayla, for example, is my personal #1 favourite character in TDP. She is a main character; she is not The main character. That's not an insult to Rayla; she's there to be a foil, one hell of a narrative lancer, and our main elven character. But I can't (nor do I want to) magically change her role in the story to claim that it's something it isn't.

The central main character of TDP is Callum. It always has been, it always will be.

He is the character who shows up in every single episode, he's our central mage character in a show all about magic, he has the most developed relationships out of everyone, he is the POV character we follow the most. That doesn't mean he's your favourite, that doesn't mean he has to be your preference, you don't even have to like him. But he is The Main Character. The majority of the story revolves around him and the people in his life. No amount of liking another character more is going to change that, whether you're clamouring for Rayla, Aaravos, Sol Regem or anyone else.

While there are shows where I think the side lining of characters feels off (Gus and Willow in The Owl House come to mind) that's mostly because 1) that sort of side lining usually happens to characters of colour, as it did there and 2) there's no real reason for the story to sideline them considering everyone lives in close proximity and there's a s1 emphasis that the main character has never had friends before and that she desperately wants some. Therefore, she should be thrilled to have best friends for the first time, but we barely see them. See the disconnect?

Aaravos is a minor character and big bad who is well utilized in the overall minimal screentime he has, especially thus far in S4 and S5. That doesn't mean he's not important to the story, and that doesn't mean he can't or shouldn't be your favourite, but your assertion doesn't miraculously make him our main core protagonist of the entire show, because 1) he's not our central pov character and 2) that's about the only requirement a main protagonist has to have, and 3) that's just not how stories work.

I also have no clue why you brought up Rayllum as a ship, given that I didn't mention them in my OG post at all, but given that you seem to think "this character isn't a main character" is a moral or value statement, I'll assume you said it to ruffle my feathers — that doesn't really work, given that I agree with you that not everything in the show is about Callum or Rayla individually or as a relationship, because it Isn't. Even if I hated them as characters or as a dynamic, however, that wouldn't change the fact that they're two of the core 3 characters (alongside Ezran) and that their relationship has the most screentime out of anyone in the show.

And if the show decided to tone down their screen time to give other characters more time, I'd be okay with that — because I don't need my Personal Favourite to be the most important character in the source material / screen time ever in order to feel secure in liking them, thanks.

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

If that one guy hates trafficlight and ragequit and sunstone so much maybe they could idk.... mute the tags instead of bitching and being happy that a tag is getting less attention now? Same goes to everyone who gets so annoyed about shipping or certain characters or whatever. Its called curate your own experiences oh my god nobody online seems to grasp this concept anymore. Fandoms arent your personal little play area if you dont like something you have to block it out not bitch at other people for making it. This is a shared space. Seriously its ok to block things you dont get enjoyment from. Youre *allowed* to curate online experiences youll be a lot happier for it. Enjoy what you enjoy but let other ppl do that too. Getting mad at other people for shipping or "not enjoying a game right" or whatever people are always on about here is legit so fucking entitled sounding do you all even hear yourselves?? Its on *you* and *ONLY YOU* to block things you dont want to see. Mute that ship tag. Mute that character tag. Whatever. You are fully allowed to do this like srsly you will be happier not engaging with crap that bothers you. Leave other people alone and learn to manage your own media viewing instead of feeling entitled to policing other peoples media engagement and what characters or ships if any they like.

.

[sleepy-shutin]

anyways, daily reminder that if you post syscourse in the main DID/OSDD community tags, you're annoying and entitled. nobody cares about your opinion on ~teh endos~ we're here to look for coping mechanisms, support, advice and healing. not bullshit discourse that's been going on for decades that nobody has agreed to a conclusion on.

your ~hot take~ is not new, it's not saying anything that hasn't been said before, and it's not saying it any more eloquently than anyone before you. your opinion on people who do not have DID/OSDD is not so important that you need to blast it to the entire DID/OSDD community.

syscourse is largely an online discourse. you are not going to be affected by syscourse in real life.

if you think your opinion on endos is so important you need to blast it to the entire DID/OSDD community, and concern so much of your existence as a person with DID/OSDD with a group of people who do not have your disorder and are largely not claiming to have your disorder, it might be time to do these newfangled things called "going outside and touching grass", or "reading a book", or even simply just "not concerning yourself with discourses that don't matter much outside of the internet".

i've known about my DID for just over 5 years now, and the best thing i ever did in regards to that is not investing a lot of emotional energy into syscourse because it does not fucking matter. spending time learning about trauma & dissociation and connecting to people with the same experiences as me has been far more rewarding than the time-killer of picking arguments on the internet.

p.s. if you're a harry potter fan in 2023, your opinion should already be automatically invalid in the first place because of the damage that jowling kowling rowling has done to the trans and jewish communities, considering she takes support for her work as support for her views explicitly. if you're a HP fan in 2023, i'm going to automatically assume you're a terf/radfem and antisemite. there will be no ifs, ands or buts about it, lol.

p.p.s. if you make a discourse post and crosstag it with the main community tags and block everyone that disagrees with you, it really shows that you only care about creating an echochamber and not starting an actual community discussion about these subjects, and does show that you made the post out of emotion more than anything else, because you're not wiling to listen to literally anyone who even remotely disagrees with or criticizes you, despite blasting your opinion into the eyeballs of as many people as you could think of. that's incredibly immature.

[unreadpoppy]

Internet 101, Fandoms and curating your online experience

I saw some stuff happening both on tumblr and on twitter (and sometimes even on instagram) regarding some fandom stuff and I wanted to make a post about, but in more of a "How to keep your peace of mind and create a healthy space" sort of post. These are just some things that I do that allow me to have a better experience on the internet as a whole, but especially on fandom spaces, and idk, I wanted to share bc navigating this sort of thing can be hard and it doesn't hurt to try and help.

One thing that I've learned very early on by people who had been on the internet for longer than me is that you do not feed the trolls. Listen. People will post shit to stir the pot, and you giving them attention is falling into their bait.

And I get it, I'm human too, I see someone talking shit and I feel the urge to give them a lenghty reply but at some point you gotta stop and think: is this worth it? like, i'm getting mad over a rando on the internet who'll probably just laugh at me. Even if we really feel like answering, it's probably always better to let it go.

And while I'm on the topic, I also want to say the following: no matter how many good arguments you have, no matter how eloquent you are, you cannot change people's minds. I've tried it and all it did was make me stressed. And especially with regards to bigots, they will not change their minds, so don't give them your time and your peace of mind because they do not care about you or your feelings. I'm a queer disabled latina woman, I get it, it sucks and it will always suck, but people will not change what they think because of lenghy ass paragraph someone on the internet sent them, so it's better to just...move on.

And by move on, I do mean do not interact in any way, shape or form. Just...scroll past it. Because it's not worth it, it truly is not, and more likely then not, even by just giving the post or person a small bit of attention, you could cause a whole situation. Do not give people clout, because then they'll get the satisfaction of both having attention AND causing such a reaction from another person.

Like, speaking from experience here, I have received a few hateful/mean spirited anons on my inbox over the years and you wanna know something? You will not find those asks on my blog because I have a 0 tolerance for hate anons. Replying to them only generates more hate anons (trust me, I've seen that happen to other people). When you show someone that you're not affected by the shit they're saying, they'll move on because you are no longer a target. This is why is so important to know when to not interact and just continue moving on.

Still on this topic but more related to fandom. People will have different opinions then you. People will have different HCs then you. People will misinterpret your favorite character. Hell, I've seen takes on my faves that honestly insult my intellect and you know what I did?

Let it go. Just scrolled past, made a mental note not to interact with that person, because again, people won't change their minds. And people are entitled to have their opinions, and enjoy characters in a different way then you do, and the best thing to do is not give them your time. Just don't. It's much better (and probably healthier) to spend your time interacting with people you like and who you can talk to then try to change a person's opinion and pottentialy instigate a fight.

For the sake of not making the same point again and again, I want to talk about blocking people, bc blocking people is the easiest way to curate your experience. There is no morality in blocking. You're not some evil bastard or a super hero because you blocked someone, so don't ascribe morality to that. Just block whoever (and whatever, because blocking tags exist) you don't want to see and move on.

Finally, my last advice is: somethings are best kept private and by private I mean get yourself some friend who you can just talk shit about to. Listen, sometimes the urge to be like "this bitch online is an idiot" is BIG and the best thing you can do about it, in a way that won't cause a fight or whatever, is to go to some friend and say "let me talk shit for a few minutes". Trust me, IT WORKS. So many times I've been tempted to say stuff, only to go to a friend and talk about the stuff and then boom, I was done. I was okay. So yeah, there's stuff that is better to be sent in a groupchat then to be posted about.

This post is longer than I intended but I feel like we should try to just have fun? This is the internet, the good part about it is that we can choose who we can engage with and what we want to say, and it's way more productive to spend your time with people that matter, that you care about and that make you happy then stressing over people who simply do not care and who will not change.

Anyways, peace out

[lycanbucky]

yeah dude the way caesar reacted to your ask seemed excessively defensive. i think that on some level there should be an expectation/responsibility for compassion when we are posting about violence like animal cruelty online (even as a meme), at least on blogs where it is not something you would reasonably expect to see. and i guess it is his choice not to, but it is definitely not ridiculous of you to ask. he said its your job to create your own experience, but if everybody randomly posted animal violence and then got angry would somebody asked for it to be tagged, then that would be impossible. his own logic relies on the (correct) premise that other people are less of an asshole than him.

Exactly! I absolutely agree that we need to create an online environment that’s safe for ourselves and our personal needs, and to expect some amount of deviation outside of our comfort zone.

But using tags is rendered completely useless if even one person refuses to use those tags, especially for commonly upsetting or triggering content. And like you said, in cases where it’s not something we’re expecting to see. So if I’m the one responsible for curating my online experience, but I’m not being given the context to do so, somehow I’m the one at fault for asking for the proper filters. Ok. 😂 I understand that we have no way of predicting what will upset those around us, but a certain amount of empathy and understanding is needed if we’re going to get anywhere in life. It costs nothing to be kind, and to instead react with purposeful and inflammatory misinterpretations (to the point of negatively impacting their own well-being, it looks like), says a lot more about them than it does about me. Plus, they literally told me to block them, since they would be refusing to use tags. So I did. And apparently that was an issue, too, lol.

It’s just wild to see how far they’re going to misinterpret what I wrote, and to project their clearly significant issues onto my words. I made a request, and was denied, so I followed their suggestion and blocked them while acknowledging that I wouldn’t be getting that kindness from them. And somehow that translates to (and I quote, because I just checked and they’re STILL going on about this, lmao), “framing them as a huge piece of shit,” “lashing out,” and “harassing them to all hell.”

Like, my post is right there. All I said was, “I clearly won’t get any compassion here, so I’m peacing out, and I hope nobody treats you in this way when you’re upset and need kindness.” And they’re making post after post about it, talking about how I’m accusing them of being a horrible person, how I’m in an echo chamber of entitlement, etc.

I don’t know who they are or what they’re going through, but they’re clearly in a rough place if they feel the need to latch on this strongly to a simple request and unfollow. They made the choice not to use the tag, so I acknowledged that and blocked them, yet they’re the one creating a whole ruckus about it. They didn’t have to post it publicly, but I guess they needed the validation. Who knows.

Thank you for your support in this, though! It’s been a while since I’ve been caught up in any internet drama, so I guess it means I’m managing to surround myself with kind-hearted people outside of this. 😊

[beneaththehalo]

about this blog ⊹ ࣪ ˖

•my reblogs alternate between art posts and fandom related posts (fanart, fanfiction, etc).

•this blog will contain very few standalone text posts. text-related posts are likely updates from myself, fanfiction or answered asks. this is just a personal preference — i want my blog to scroll like an art gallery!

•a lot of my posts are queued, so if you send a message or an ask it is likely you’ll experience a slight delay before i respond. i promise i’m not ignoring you!

•my interests are far and wide between anime, film, television, video games, etc. however, i will try to highlight whatever is currently grabbing my attention in my pinned post.

•i do enjoy writing from time to time, but i wouldn’t call this a traditional writing blog by any means. if you’re interested in that, please check out my ao3 & refer to ‘the holy manuscript;’ tag to see more! the best way to support my writing is to comment, reblog and even send a cute ask.

•this blog is sort of a fresh start. i lost my 600 follower writing blog & a lot of my old masterlist that i had for a little over a year due to tumblr shadowban. i’m still waiting for my love of writing and inspiration to strike me once more, but i’m hoping that in time — i’ll be excited to create once again.

expectations ⊹ ࣪ ˖

•basic dni criteria applies to this blog. i’m sure you’ve seen it several times on a bunch of different socials. if you question whether or not you’re included in the dni criteria, air on the side of caution and dni.

•speaking of dni, due to the nature of reblogging explicit fanfictions and sometimes suggestive imagery/gifs, i would prefer to keep this blog 18 and over. realistically, i cannot monitor every single interaction, but i will do my best to maintain this boundary.

•please do not send pornographic video links (typically from twitter) in my inbox. it makes me uncomfortable and i will block you.

•i will do my best to tag any potential triggers on any of my reblogs. please feel free to message me if i miss any!

•examine your media with nuance and understand that some content can perpetuate harmful themes. it is your job to educate yourself and inform your own opinions. curate your own safe space online, do not expect me to do it for you!

•do not expect me to commentate on inner-fandom drama. it is unnecessary and unpleasant for everyone involved.

•kink shaming is not welcome here. everyone is entitled to their own preferences between consenting adults. however, i will not interact with illegal explicit content.

beneaththehalo || est. 2024

[samoyari]

tell me that you’re still mine !

zira or ren ╭╯ eng && tagalog ﹒pansexual genderfluid ﹒ volleyball enthusiast ( go uste ) ﹒ athlete / theatre kid with the busiest schedule ever

swiftie, professional yapper, i saw false god x slut live 🇸🇬 eras day5!

the first thing you notice about the house is how vibrant each color is. the orange giving contrast to the white && purple—posters giving a calming effect to your eyes with the blue. you’d quickly assume the owners personality is just as colorful with only one look at the room.

hi, hello, hey!! im zira but almost everything is already above this text. just a quick heads up on my tumblr for my mooties visiting my little home; i do use a mix of tagalog, english or straight up taglish here! i also talk about some personal experiences & how i feeell since i dont use twitter that often. tumblr has become my safe space and i trust that everything will be handled with care 🫶 remember, this is my “online diary” so be ready for any sensitive topics i will bring up

do not talk about anything politic or religious on here. i will give a content warning per post as it may trigger people especially since i am anti-bbm & not religious ( atheist ). do not force your beliefs onto me and do not judge or hate me for my own. we are all entitled to our own opinions until it goes too far.

i am a big swiftie and will for sure talk about her. if this makes you uncomfortable for some reason then thats completely okay, just block the tag #— we will be remembered or #— long live !!

[evilbihan]

If an argument is allowed to be shredded for "bias' for liking a character, then by that logic, your stances on Bi-Han are all null due to your bias toward him, correct?

Incorrect. I have no bias. If you can't tell from the citations, links to sources, screenshots I add to all of my analyses, etc. I did very extensive research on the character. I do research on any character and media before I speak about them. Explaining character motivations and analysing writing does not equal blindly defending a character and their actions.

You are projecting a lot of tone to my words to cover up for the fact that you seem to be unable to take being wrong. You blocked mutuals of mine for the sin of being associated with me (they have never interacted with you), and you tend to nuke posts when you get push-back. Which is a real shame, since some of those were actually interesting!

I don't know why my response to you offended you or what made you think I have blocked people for being associated with you when you and I have never spoken before, unless it was through another blog of yours. I genuinely have no idea who you are. I've seen your blog name pop up a few times while browsing the Bi-Han tag and that's it. I don't know you. I don't know who your mutuals are. I can count the people I talked to or had arguments with on here on one hand.

I block people for trying to start pointless arguments, clogging up the tags with content unrelated to them, spreading hate or just general negativity, posting content I find either triggering or annoying or if their blog appears suspicious to me for whatever other reason. I never blocked anyone for respectfully disagreeing with me and I certainly never blocked anyone for being a mutual of yours. Again, I don't know you and I don't know where this sudden personal attack is coming from.

I have the right to block other blogs to curate my own online experience and may I suggest you do the same if my posts are bothering you so much that you have to make up things about me because you don't like my takes?

I can admit when I'm wrong if I'm wrong. However, our conversation on this post is not a matter of right or wrong. You have a different opinion than me, which I have told you that you're entitled to and I respect that. Why is agreeing to disagree such an unacceptable thing in this community?

Furthermore, I have never "nuked" any of my posts.

So countdown to when you delete the OG post?

I have no intention of taking down my original post, I have no idea where you get that idea from. 😂 I have taken down ONE post simply because I understood it contained misinformation after valid criticism. The research I've done on it wasn't my best work and I will gladly admit that. I assume by these mutuals of yours you claim I blocked for disagreeing with me you meant the person that criticized that post? I blocked them for being disrespectful throughout our conversation, not for them disagreeing with my stance... But if people are unable to have a discussion without making it personal, which I didn't do in my response to you or that person, then I will of course block them. We're all adults on here and adults should be able to have civil conversations.

The post you talked about still exists, by the way, it's set to private but anyone can request a link should they want to read it.

You're trying to paint me as some kind of hypocrite incapable of handling criticism because you don't like me disagreeing with your opinion on Takeda and then bring up months old discourse between me and someone else that you were not even involved in to try and discredit my opinion.

And if you think this is from a Kuai Liang stan, ask anybody who reads my work--I aint exactly in love with that guy either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You needlessly brought Kuai Liang into the conversation and got defensive before I even responded to your post, pressumably thinking I'd ignore your criticsim if I had reason to assume you're a Kuai Liang stan?

Thank you for proving my original point. You are indeed biased.

Hii! So with the arrival of Takeda (hip hip hooray!) Also comes with his intros. There's a certain intro with Takeda and Tomáš that goes as follows:

Takeda: "From what I hear, Bihan was a bad brother."

Tomáš: "Because to him, I wasn't one."

So that made me :(((. I wanted to ask if this would change your perception for Bihan's and Tomáš' convoluted relationship? Because I wholeheartedly agree Bihan by nature - underneath his built identity and grooming of becoming the Grandmaster and by proxy wanting to act for the betterment of the clan - does hold love for Tomáš and can't help but be endeared to his little brother (no so little, Tom is HUGE). But i suppose the writers want to push the notion of Tomáš and Bihan not being brothers.

I love, love, l o v e yours and inflamedrosenkranz's posts so so much. So thank you if you do respond to my ask! <3

From what I hear, Takeda was a bad cousin.

Didn't he try to murder Kenshi?

(Not to mention, his official bio in MK1 says he enjoyed his former lifestyle. Doesn't seem like he has much remorse for trying to kill his cousin either... )

And additionally to being a bad cousin, he was an even worse son in the previous timeline who beat up his blind father for "abandoning" him while Kenshi only tried to protect him by leaving him with the only person he knew could keep him safe.

This is the guy who gets to point fingers at others???? Disgusting.

It's beyond me why some people like Takeda. They should have brought back Kung Jin instead.

Now that we have an idea of Takeda's credibility and moral compass, let me answer your question.

"I wanted to ask if this would change your perception for Bihan's and Tomáš' convoluted relationship?"

To me, this intro doesn't change much, if anything at all. Because it adds nothing new, except for Tomas' perspective and it's really not that surprising that Tomas would think Bi-Han never considered him a brother when Bi-Han has always been acting cold towards him.

However, this is Tomas' perception of the situation and Tomas doesn't know everything. Tomas can't read Bi-Han's mind, he can't know whether Bi-Han ever thought of him as a brother or not and again, Bi-Han not considering him a brother is the only point making him a "bad brother" in Tomas' opinion. He doesn't say Bi-Han ever mistreated him or Kuai Liang. In fact, there is no mention of him ever being a bad brother to Kuai Liang at all. This is just Tomas' opinion on Bi-Han and we need to keep in mind from what position it comes from.

Tomas is hurt and angry, the last thing Bi-Han said to him was that his blood is not Lin Kuei. It's understandable why he would jump to this conclusion and think Bi-Han never considered him family.

However, there is proof of this perception potentially being false. You can find my other posts analyzing their relationship here, here and here.

Bi-Han never corrects others when they speak of his brothers (plural).

He doesn't correct Tomas for calling Bi-Han's parents mother and father too.

When Tomas asks Bi-Han why he was cold towards him. Bi-Han says it was because he's not Lin Kuei, not because they are not brothers.

Bi-Han did seem concerned when Tomas almost died, so even if he doesn't think of Tomas as a brother, he did care about him to some extent.

Bi-Han doesn't necessarily want to be enemies with Tomas, He tells him they will only be enemies unless Tomas submits, leaving open the opportunity for Tomas to either be on neutral terms with him or even return to the Lin Kuei.

Lastly, here comes the most important point: Bi-Han doesn't owe Tomas anything. He has every right to refuse to call a complete stranger his brother. This was a situation Bi-Han was forced into by his parents as a young boy when his father chose to adopt Tomas. If it's true that he never considered Tomas his brother that is an entirely valid position to have. It doesn't make Bi-Han a bad person or a bad brother. I may have said this before, but if you go and ask random people what their defintion of family is, you'll get many different answers. Some will tell you family are those related to you by blood, others will tell you found family and the people you want in your life are the only true family. After all, you can't choose who you're related to by blood. And guess what? Neither of these takes are right or wrong. They're just different from each other and people will have different opinions on what family is. Trying to force Bi-Han to accept Tomas into his family is messed up and wrong.

Anyway, I'm glad to hear you like my posts and thank you for sending me this ask!

[lassieposting]

People are gonna post about Skulduggery Pleasant related things in the Skulduggery Pleasant tag.

Opinions come with media. Regardless of any personal feelings you may hold, people will post their opinions for general consumption.

You come across as self-righteous and arrogant by demanding that no one posts their opinions about a particular pairing in a general tag. It’s a general tag for a reason.

Nothing against you specifically, and I have no malicious intent at all. Happy holidays.

Tbh anon I don't care how I come across at this point, I am sick and tired of entitled people in this fandom demanding that just because they don't like valdug, everyone else has to stop posting about it. The blacklisting feature exists for a reason, and so does the ability to block. It is your responsibility to curate your own online experience - nobody has to stop shipping things you personally don't like just to accommodate you. Like, I loathe val/itsa, but you don't see me demanding everyone else stop shipping it. I blacklisted the related tags, blocked the people who love the ship or post about it regularly, and boom, I don't see it anymore, so I no longer feel the need to post about how much I hate it.

It's also basic fandom manners that you don't post your hate in the ship's tag, because if you do, you're basically inviting shippers to tell you to shut the fuck up. The valdug discourse is old at this point, and people are still shipping it, so clearly throwing tantrums about how it makes you, personally, uncomfortable do not do any good. Every few months another bratty anti who thinks the fandom has to cater to them jumps in the tag to stomp their foot and screech "But I don't liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike it!" and for what? The shippers don't give a fuck. They're gonna keep shipping and creating content regardless of what the antis think. All you're doing by tagging your hate with the ship tag is trying to drag them into a fight, and honestly? The rest of us are beyond bored of watching that happen, and I personally am sick of watching antis try to shame the valdugs for shipping two grown-ass adults. I'm not even invested in the ship anymore, but this fandom is a toxic shit pit towards people who are, and that shit is not okay. If you don't like a ship, that's fine. If you hate a ship, that's fine too. But use the tools at your disposal (blocking, blacklisting) to wipe your dash clean of that ship without shitting on people for feeling differently to you.

The world is full of things you're gonna find disgusting and offensive. The internet has tools to avoid those things, so use them. But shippers - of any ship in any fandom - are not hurting you, and they're not hurting anyone else either, by just enjoying their ship. So if you're gonna come into the valdug sandbox to scream that you hate valdug and everyone should stop talking about it, then don't complain when other people tell you to shut the fuck up, because you're the one who's out of order in the first place.

Like jesus. The world is shit enough. Go find whatever corner of this hell-pit fandom brings you joy and sit down there surrounded by content you enjoy, and let other people do the same.

[silvysartfulness]

cw: pedophilia mentioned. do you know how to deal with getting called a pedo for writing nsfw fanfiction? I'm hurt and I can't tell it to anyone because I'm afraid they'll tell me I'm a pedo.

Oy. Okay. That’s a Big One, as Asks go.

I have no answers - I wish I did! - so I will just think out loud for a bit here.

Unfortunately, a lot of this has to do with what people you interact with, and how you are perceived. Not whether you are perceived as predatory, as one might think, but perceived as someone uncertain and well-meaning enough to be harassable.

First things first, to get it out of the way - a pedophile is a (grown) person who experiences sexual attraction to minors and acts on it in some way - by consuming child pornography or interacting sexually with people who are underage. That’s the definition. That’s what it is. Calling anyone who doesn’t fit those criteria a pedophile waters the term down, making actual, real pedophiles hurting actual real children harder to catch.

A person shipping a pairing with an age-difference is not a pedophile. A person shipping a “problematic” ship in general is not a pedophile. A person shipping characters in a historical or fantasy setting where age of consent is not the same as any modern Western one is not a pedophile.

A person writing outright filthy NSFW-porn of actual underage characters is still not a pedophile*, because no actual real children are being harmed.

Unfortunately, a lot of people - sometimes genuinely well-meaning, sometimes just giving themselves the entitled right to police the behaviour of others - know that the p-word is one of the most efficient weapons at their disposal to shut people up.

Just the threat of being called out as one is enough to silence a lot of people - especially young people starting out as writers, or queer people, or neurodivergent people. People who already know what it’s like to be harassed and threatened, and can’t stand the thought of facing even more of it. So - congratulations, antis, your behaviour is already disproportionately affecting people who are already marginalized, well done!

(Speaking of definitions - instilling a state of fear and using threats to get others to comply is what terrorists do. And fascists. So, there’s that.)

In today’s purity-race online culture, no one is really safe - any single person can be singled out, “called out”, accused, leading to extreme harassment, even doxxing and physical threats. Avoiding it is usually more about luck than any moral standpoint. Often these attacks are less about what the people in question actually do/say/ship, and more about who has decided they just don’t like them, for whatever reason.

But the very sad truth is that if you behave like a victim - timid, well-meaning, trying to get things right, tagging for everything, keeping up with what constitutes “acceptable” vocabulary - you are far more likely to be singled out. Whereas if you give of an air of not caring much, being untouchable, having thick skin - you won’t get attacked in the first place.

Almost, you know, like how actual rapists pick their marks. (If you can’t tell by now, this whole phenomenon does infuriate me beyond words, yes.)

The people who attack others for what they ship, what they write, what they headcanon are cowards and bullies. Reporting fanfic writers to the authorities for pedophilia over fictional content is not only extremely illegal, it also takes resources away from tracking down actual sexual predators. People mobbing and harassing others online to the point of mental breakdowns, self-harm, even suicide over fiction - how anyone can look at themselves after doing that and still think they’re the good guys..? The self-delusion is not only baffling, but vile.

The rise of the antis, the fandom police - that is new. But sometimes new problems call for ancient solutions: Don’t Feed The Troll.

Block and ignore. Do not interact. Don’t apologize for what you ship, or argue your point, or try to explain yourself - it will be perceived as weakness, or even worse, guilt, and those sharks will smell blood in the water.

Block and ignore. Make it not worth it to harass you. Give them nothing. Don’t show your (entirely justified!) hurt, or frustration - talk those out with your close, trusted friends, and try to move on.

These people are bullies, and that’s how they must be approached and dealt with. They prey on those they know they can hurt. 

Fandom spaces are supposed to be where we come to wind down, have fun, unleash our creativity and make like-minded friends! If people are trying to ruin that for you by being judgmental, then - block and ignore, and go on doing what makes you happy.

Because you deserve to be happy.

♥♥♥

* local laws may be different, but as a general rule, the only legal definition is whether actual real children are involved

[trashcatsnark]

I don't mean to be insensitive, but how do you feel about people shipping Male V + Johnny? I'm open to all fan fiction etc but as far as canon goes - I see Johnny as someone who experimented with guys but only loves women. I found deleted dialogue where Johnny says "I'm not into dick" but he’s bi according to the "Dicky Twister" comment. I see tons of gay fan art making Johnny fem/bottom and I just REALLY don't see his character that way.

Personally, I see Johnny as bi and have no problems with people shipping him with men/male V. As far as canon lines go, I've never gotten the dicky twister line, so I'm not even a hundred percent sure thats canon or if it was cut. I do think i've seen before he can say in game that he's not into dick in game too, like, but even before the game dropped there was like source material talking about him being with men as well as women.

I have been very forthcoming that this is why unless referring exclusively to my personal V, I am always careful to use gender neutral pronouns; so that all V's no matter gender identity are included. Just because I see him with my fem V doesn't mean, that's the only kind of relationship I think he can have.

And...while, I sexuality can be fluid for many individuals, people can absolutely experiment with attraction and find they don't experience it. I do, but presenting Johnny's bisexuality as just experimentation and that any male attraction is merely for sexual gratification with no potential for romance does intentionally or not, in my opinion do a great disservice to bisexual people and gay men. In addition the assertion that Johnny being a bottom means they're making him 'fem' and placing heteronormative roles into same sex relationships is also not great, is how I'll word that.

I do assume and trust it wasn't your intention to discredit same sex attraction in that way, that you just meant to express your feelings on a character. I just want you to understand how some of those things, well intentioned or not can be hurtful.

Everyone is always entitled to interpret canon however they see fit, always. But, its always important to keep in mind that how we interpret it is painted by our own experiences, beliefs, and biases that aren't universal. So, people in the fandom are going to have different views. And it's okay to have your views as well as curate your own online experience; if you don't like seeing him portrayed this way, block tags and artists and writers who do so, you don't have to expose yourself to any fandom content you don't want. And I encourage everyone to do so.

All that said, my opinion is that Johnny is bisexual. If anything, the game trying to ignore sourcebook material showing such and present him as straight much of the time (other than the dicky twister line which again i have never seen in game, despite doing that mission multiple times), which if anything upsets me more than anything. As a bisexual person, who has seen my identity erased and devalued time and time again, I will not contribute to it. Johnny has shown attraction more than one sex/gender, that by definition makes him bi/pan.

While my V is a woman, Johnny in my content is bisexual, has had sexual relations with men, has an attraction to men. And my general SilverV/V posts (not where im focused on my own V) will always be focused on a gender neutral V so that all V's and V creators, no matter gender can feel included.

[jebazzled]

troubleshooting: common quandaries and thots to overcome

It's no surprise that people whose major hobby involves writing, the internet, and fandom are often people who carry a lot of anxiety and tension around with them. For many of us, writing is something we do to escape, relax, unwind, and flex creative muscles we might not get to use at work or school. I get it.

For many of us, however, it also seems like forum rp is a stressor, a cause of great anxiety and insecurity. We've all seen or known people who go through a major rp-related crisis.

Sometimes, these crises are truly major - catastrophic falling-outs and permanently damaging rumor mills and etc etc. But a lot of the time? Well. It's not that it's "in your head," because obviously what you are feeling is very valid. But I think sometimes the way we think of internet spaces fuels dysfunctional thinking.

This isn't quite a tutorial; it's more in the vein of my tough love re: writer's block. I'm going to talk through some common scenarios, anxieties, and other issues I see in the rp community, and offer my (fully unsolicited) thoughts and advice. As always, your mileage may vary, but I'm trying!

Topics covered, because this one is a LONGBOI:

Insecurity & thread reactions

Insecurity & completionism/ Being Liked

Jealousy (especially ship-related)

The server is not therapy.

So here's the thing about the internet: for better or worse, it's for everyone.

On the far end of the spectrum, this means that the internet is a great incubator for toxic garbage. See: right-wing radicals, etc. But for most of us, this means that there is room on the internet for weird little me and my weird little hobby. You can find a community to talk about virtually any interest. You, for example, found the rp community.

So here's the thing about the internet: for better or worse, it's for everyone. This means that while you can find a community to talk about virtually any interest, you are never going to find a community that is completely without flaws.

There will always be people who annoy you, rub you the wrong way, or who you think are mean-spirited and negative. There will always be someone you don't get along with. There will always be people who disagree with you.

I have been in servers where members come to me time and time again to complain about other members, as though I am going to boot someone for wanting to talk about x just because they, personally, are sick of hearing about x. I am not going to tell someone to change their personality because someone else, personally, finds it annoying.

Offline, you wouldn't tell your manager at Starbucks to fire Susie because you don't like talking to her. You would simply not talk to her outside of a professional context. You would simply not take your break at the same time as her. You would simply not make small talk with her when the store is quiet and would instead, like, read the liner notes on whatever CD is at the register. (Does Starbucks still sell CDs?)

There will always be people in your community who you do not like and whose logic does not make sense to you. If they are not doing anything genuinely abusive, they have as much right to be in your community as you do. There is, in fact, likely someone in your community who finds you somewhat annoying. C'est la vie.

A community is not an environment custom-curated to your exact specifications. It is a community. You are not entitled to it being perfect. You are entitled to a space free from harassment and bigotry. If the space is free from harassment and bigotry and you cannot enjoy the space because someone else in it is existing harmlessly in a way that you dislike or find irritating, you have the option to leave the community. Discord server links are not a binding contract!

This is all to say: I think a lot of us expect far more of our online communities than is fair. Remember that every single person in your server is an individual human being with an interior life as rich as your own, and a list of neuroses possibly as extensive. None of them, yourself included, are perfect.

Oh, speaking of that list of neuroses! Let's tackle it, babe.

Your neuroses are not anyone else's problem.

It is on you to work through and overcome your anxieties and insecurities.

It is kind of other people to accommodate your growth, or to modify their behavior so as not to trigger your anxieties and insecurities. They are by no means required to do so.

Note: they do need to respect your triggers, if you have them and list them.

So here we go: troubleshooting frequent freak-outs. Buckle up!!!

Insecurity & thread reactions (or lack thereof)

Some people experience a lot of anxiety and insecurity around how their writing partners react to their threads. This might surface in the form of feeling unappreciated/disliked if the thread partner doesn't drop an emoji react on the link in your server's tag channel, or in feeling like no one likes your writing because they aren't swooning over it in #affirmations/ #thread-shoutouts/ #quotables/ etc.

You are serving as both texters in this meme.

So... you don't actually know what's going on with your thread partner at any given moment, you know? Personally, here are some possible scenarios with me as your thread partner:

You tag me and I put a passage from your post in #thread-shoutouts: I am at my desk, on my computer, not engaged in active DM conversation with anyone, and your post either made me cackle or it made me emo

You tag me and I DM you to gush about it: there's a lot happening in the server right now/ I don't want to derail a public conversation

You tag me and I react with an emoji: I am at date night with my girlfriend and she is in the bathroom. I have had time to read your post. I probably haven't put it in my tracker and will try and remember later, when I find it in one of 100 tabs open on Safari on my phone.

You tag me and I don't react at all: I am swamped with work and read your post in between emails. Instead of taking a second to react I immediately jumped into my tracker to log your reply, and now I am back to emails.

You'll notice none of these rationales are: "I don't react at all because I dislike you as a human." "I actively chose to quote Susie in #thread-shoutouts and not you because I want to hurt you." "I don't DM you about our thread because I hate our thread."

It doesn't have to be that deep! Stop hurting yourself. Let yourself assume the kindest option. After all, don't you want people to assume the best of you, too?

If your thread partners know you value emoji reacts or thread shoutouts, it is kind of them to do them. But it isn't inherently unkind for them not to, either. You're better off trying to kick that need for public validation.

Overview for addressing thread reaction insecurity:

If your server has a thread shoutout/quotables/etc channel, mute it. Don't look at it. Stop giving yourself something to fixate on.

When you are worried that someone hates a thread because they aren't giving emoji reacts, instead of building a narrative in your head that may or may not be true - communicate! "What beats do you want us to make sure we hit in this thread?" is a good introductory question to see if a thread is doing something for either or both of you, and gives your partner a chance to say something if they do want it to go in a different direction and would be more excited.

If someone is continuing to write with you, regardless of whether they post an emoji, it is probably because they enjoy writing with you!

Be deliberate about your thread premises! In my experience, threads done "just because" without a specific purpose (e.g. building chemistry between ship partners, introducing a subplot about a cursed hairbrush, kidnapping a house elf) are the first to lose steam and lose interest. It's entirely possible that someone likes you, likes writing with you, and simply doesn't prioritize this thread above their others because there's nothing meaningful to prioritize!

Keep your eyes on your own paper and stop reading so much into what other people do or don't do. It's probably not that deep!

Insecurity & completionism/ Being Liked

You would not be the first person to exacerbate their own problems because of a sense of duty to the spirit of completionism. Here's the thing, friend:

You do not need to write with every member.

You do not need to plot with every character.

You do not need to be in every subplot.

You do not need to have a character in every member group.

People fall into this trap thinking that if they can be everything to everyone, it will make them popular/important/beloved/a truly included member of the site.

But quantity is not the same as quality. You might have a thread with every character onsite but if half those threads are under a "they're on the same bus" premise, then yeah, people aren't going to want to keep up with that thread, and it's going to contribute to your thread reaction anxiety!

Write characters you are excited about. But more importantly: write plots you are excited about. Write threads you are excited about. You can be friends with people in your server without writing with them! You are better off writing a smaller number of really well-plotted, juicy plots that everyone involved feels heavily invested in than in writing a lot of watery threads for the sake of writing with every single person. It's hard to believe, but many people would rather NOT have a thread and wait until there's a juicy reason to than write a thread that doesn't have any development relevance simply for the sake of it.

If you're finding that it's hard to find juicy or plot-driven reasons to thread with many people, that might be a hint to write different types of characters. While yes, people exist who are very self-contained and isolated, the purpose of rp isn't to be a direct mirror of real life. It's to have fun while writing with other people. If your character is not fun to write with other people, they are probably not a good fit for an rp setting.

RP is not a popularity contest. This is not high school. No one is voting for prom queen. Be kind and be open to ideas and collaboration and people will like you. People will enjoy writing with you! People might even go out of their way to write with you. And they will be writing things that matter to both of you. That's winning, dude.

You might be tempted to pinpoint a "popular group" in the server and fix your sights on becoming one of them. This is also a failing proposition: often the "popular group" you might first identify is incorrect, and you are mistaking "exclusivity" for "importance." Sometimes sites have a small, tight-knit group with intricate inter-group plots and a very visibly closed-off dynamic. Since that dynamic mirrors the popular girls you were raised watching in teen movies, I can understand why you would assume that these people are the most important people to befriend on a site. They're not. They're cliquey and exclusive, and trying to get them to make room for you when they have intentionally and performatively set themselves aside from many other members is like... lmao, dude, it's not going to work.

Not only that, but the fact that these people are hard to pin down? It's not a selling point! The most beloved members on any site are not the ones who make you beg for a scrap of their attention. The most beloved members are the people who are friendly and kind. THAT is who you want to Get In with.

Overview for addressing completionism tendencies and "what if I'm Left Out" woes:

This is not a popularity contest, and you are a grown up. Focus on having fun and enjoying writing. That is not something you can do if your first priority is Getting In with the people you think are a site's "Popular Crowd."

You do not need to be everything to everyone. You cannot be everything to everyone.

In fact, everyone will appreciate you more if you do less and you do it well.

Focus on the positive. Who cares if Susie and Sally won't write with you? Sarah and Sam love writing with you! Yes, it would make sense for Susie to plot with you because your characters work together - but again, this is a hobby, not real life, and if you and Susie don't vibe, your characters don't need to interact! Why write with people who make you feel insecure? Trick question; there's NO reason to!

I understand the drive to be well-liked. Trust! I, too, desperately want to be well-liked. You'll have better luck if you don't try so hard. Be yourself and make friends with people who genuinely like you. Stop worrying about what the site's yearbook will look like. There isn't going to be a fucking yearbook.

Jealousy (especially ship-related)

Do you ever find yourself feeling a spike of anxiety or resentment when one of your favorite writing partners writes with someone else?

This reaction is especially common where ships are concerned: when one partner writes AU ships with their character, or has a plot with their character's previous partners before their OTP, etc.

It's a bit territorial, and it's not a good look, friends!

Your writing partners get to write with other people. How much they enjoy writing with other people has nothing to do with how much they enjoy writing with you. How much they write with other people has nothing to do with you. What they write has nothing to do with you. It's not all about you!

It truly doesn't matter how anxious you feel when your writing partners write with other people. They are entitled to write with whoever they want! What makes you nervous about them writing with other people?

In a forum rp environment, the best way to secure fulfilling, satisfying character arcs for your character is to plot with multiple others. That includes you, on both fronts: your writing partner needs you for their character's development as much as you need them! They aren't going to just stop writing with you arbitrarily.

If they do stop writing with you, there is probably a reason! Are they still on the site? Are they still writing? Are they going through something in real life that might impact their muse? There could be a hundred reasons why they are writing more with Susie now than they were with you, and they could be anything from "Susie is out of town this week so I want to give her a lot of replies to come home to" to "a ladder fell on my head and I am recovering from a concussion" to, possibly, "your territorial behavior makes me uncomfortable, and I would rather write with people who do not make me feel bad about writing with other people."

This behavior is especially weird in a ship context, and is something worth unpacking. When you write ships, do you resent/get anxious about your ship partner writing AU ship threads? About their character having previous partners? About their character having crushes that they do not act on?

An AU ship is an alternate universe specifically because it is not real. Susie and Sally shacking up in a space AU has no bearing over whether or not Susie and Marco end up together as finals.

Just like human beings have romantic history, it makes sense for characters to have romantic history, and these plots give your writing partner an opportunity to write plots that they might not get with you. For example, your writing partner might want to write a breakup plot with weird friendship tensions, which might not be a relevant vibe for Susie and Marco. But your partner can explore that with Marco and Sally. Again: it's not all about you, and your writing partner gets to write what they want, and you do, too.

Sometimes I think we can trace the territorial side of ship-oriented plotting to toxic monogamy culture, as described here. Particularly relevant are the below:

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

Your writing partner is not cheating on your ship by giving their character other ships. If it feels that way to you, you are getting too emotionally invested, and you should probably back off of ship-oriented plotting for a while to unpack why you are feeling this way.

That said, of course be clear about boundaries. This applies both to M-rated content and to parameters of plotting. For example, you might tell your partner that you are not interested in a plot whose core conflict is "will they or won't they." You want to write these characters with the longevity of their relationship never in doubt. You might not want a plot where one character is cheating on the other. You might want these characters to be monogamous. That's fair! It's not fair for you to expect your writing partner to limit the plots they do that do not actually involve your character to avoid triggering your insecurities.

Overview for dealing with jealousy:

It's not all about you! Your writing partners deserve to have a good time as much as you deserve to have a good time. They can enjoy writing with you AND writing with someone else.

Be very clear with your boundaries. If there are plots between your character and another character that you cannot write, let your partner know before they accidentally step in a minefield.

Be willing to step away from ships. There are plenty of plots that do not involve ships. If ships make you a jealous and anxious mess, you should stop writing ships and work on that journey. It is more important to be a good writing partner than it is to write romantic ships.

Writing is such a personal thing, and we all of course connect very deeply to our characters - it only makes sense that we be invested in their outcomes! But if your gut reaction is one of jealousy, this is something that you need to work on, not something your writing partners should need to tiptoe around.

The server is not therapy.

Because rp is an online hobby, it can be easy to forget that every person you interact with in the server or forum is also a whole ass person on the other side of the screen. Which is to say, your rp friends do not exist to be your emotional support.

Of course they can be supportive - some of my closest friends are people I have met through rp! But online as in real life, you need to remember that everyone is always going through something. You are never the only person in the world who needs support, and you need to be thoughtful in how you engage with your friends here.

Do you listen when they share their problems, or do you immediately change the subject to talk more about your own? Do they not share their problems at all - is this a one-sided close friendship? Are the majority of your DMs to them seeking comfort, advice, affirmation, validation?

If you need a text-based counseling service, BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist. A therapist is a person whose job is to listen and ask nothing from you for their own personal emotional needs.

Your friends - online as in real life - are not therapists. They will not always have the bandwidth to help you. They will not always feel comfortable helping you. The internet breeds a sense of intimacy, the idea that regular chat conversation makes for a deep knowledge of another person. And of course this is sometimes the case! But in many cases, the person you are asking for psychoanalysis in the DMs on Discord doesn't actually know you very well. And if you have been relying on them for emotional support, you might be wearing them out.

Overview for not treating your rp friends like therapists:

Be thoughtful. If you have something heavy you want to talk about, first ask if they have the bandwidth. For example: "Hi Susie! Do you have the energy to give me some advice on x work issue?"

Listen. If your friend wants to talk about their issues, stop thinking about how you can relate and it sounds just like that time you... and just LISTEN. If you want to offer advice, keep it about them. If you don't know how to help, commiserate. "That's rough, buddy."

Self-check. Look at your chat history as though it's between your friend and someone you've never met. What do you think of this person? Are they a good listener? Do they reciprocate the support they get from your friend? Do they remember things your friend tells them about their own life? Or is this a one-sided conversation? If you're realizing that you're leaning too much on this friend, give them some space. If you're realizing you've gone way overboard leaning on this friend, maybe apologize and promise to be more conscientious going forward.

Be considerate. Remember that every person you know from the internet is so much more than what you've seen - I don't mean that in a "all internet users are creeps" way, I mean that in a "even if you've chatted in a server with some every day for six months, you still don't actually know them super well." Think of other people you've spent Some Time with. Think of your lab partner in 8th grade bio. You shared a desk with them for an hour a day five days a week for two thirds of the year. How much of your life did you share with them?

This tutorial got LONG - sorry, friends! Lots to talk about. I'm always happy to give Real TalksTM like this one. Feel free to drop into my askbox if you have a topic you'd like me to cover. I'm full of thoughts and feelings, and it would give me great joy for y'all to ask for them for once.

I hope this is helpful, and wish all y'all the best. Happy writing!

[jedivszombie]

I just find it so interesting that on a weekend where the podium is quite different from usual that people are deciding they can be so entitled to go to other people’s blogs and try and police what they are posting. Particularly with a certain driver being on the podium, people can be unhappy and happy and dislike and like drivers as they wish and on their own blogs express these opinions (which btw half of them haven’t been tagged to avoid this sort of thing happening). And why do people feel like they can hop into strangers inboxes and make weird comments just because that person doesn’t like their fave?

Like I know there’s a usual level of boredom or hate towards people like Bottas with the usual podiums but I rarely see this many people I follow get unnecessary unsolicited comments on their opinions. Just unfollow, block, cultivate your own experience online. If people you follow don’t like someone you like and it gets to annoy you then unfollow them. It’s really not healthy to react like this to people you may not even follow or who are just sharing their opinions. No one is forcing you to follow or read any of it.

[confused-stars]

No pressure to talk about it because I know that getting hate is never fun but know that you have at least one follower that enjoys Endeavor's character arc and would love to hear your thoughts on him/it. I know where you're coming from I have the opposite problem in that I don't like Bakugou and even letting a wiff of that get out and you instantly get labled an Anit and get hate. I'm not an anti I just have very personal reasons for why I don't like him or him in a relationship with DK.

god, yeah, i’ve seen some of that go around, too, with a lot of popular characters. it’s like no one is entitled to their own opinions anymore because it’s immediately seen as a personal attack (but even if someone perceives it that way, they could very, very easily just... keep scrolling. or block the person whose opinions are bothering them. it’s literally that easy.)

there’s probably a tons of essays already written on that topic out there, how black and white mentality is turning online spaces into hostile environments. it’s always been easy for people online to not engage in critical thinking or any kind of empathy. imo, everyone’s experiences and feelings are their own business and should never be policed unless you’re directly attacking other people over theirs or doing active harm in a different way.

not liking a character or liking a character for personal reasons is entirely valid (and also if there’s no deep personal reasons at all because people are allowed to have preferences)

i have a dad who’s a lot like Endeavor, except that he’s not nearly trying as hard, but i shouldn’t even feel like i have to disclose that to justify being invested in his character. i don’t need to have a Doctorate in Todoroki Enji to be able to put personal opinions on my blog or twitter without even tagging anything

lmk if you want me to tag Bakugou content on my blog btw, i’ve been trying to remember doing it with Hawks so i could make a similar tag for him <3