#and eddie is the beginning of a new chapter 👀

[mischiefbuckley]

Eddie always haunting Buck’s relationships and being a constant obstacle almost like there’s a reason for that 🤷🏻‍♀️

[deceptive-daydreams]

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 |

Smoke Signals

Chapter Fourteen - A Merry Little Christmas

W/C: 7.5K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

Have yourself a merry little Christmas…

(Cover) Phoebe Bridgers

Warnings: mentions of bad childhood, mentions of parent’s death, issues with mental health, allusion to a suicide attempt, self harm but not, just appears to be, blood, let me know if I missed anything. In all fairness this is a heavy chapter in the beginning. Oh and also, smut 👀

A/N: this took literally forever to write…only because I couldn’t write for like months lmao. But I spent all day basically fleshing most of this all out and there’s a lot of emotion put into it and not too much editing cause I already overthought everything I wrote as I wrote it, dare I say I put my whole fuckin pussy into this chapter. Next chapter will be the final one in the series 😭

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Christmas Eve was supposed to be different this year.  

A senseless daydream.  

It was dad’s last kick to his gut, he knows it.  Eddie finally had a good thing going for him but alas the Munson’s were cursed and he could never escape.  This was some kind of final revenge for not hanging around like a lost puppy though it wasn’t even his choice to leave Hawkins in the first place.  It didn’t matter, life never spared Eddie a precious moment.  

So he sat there, salty tears still somehow leaking out of him despite how tired he was, despite how wrong it felt.  Last week his dad was the most hated man in his life.  And last week he was suddenly dead.  It didn’t make sense, the devastation that consumed Eddie.  All he knew was that sunlight began leaking through the blinds and dotting the floor.  Birds were chirping annoyingly outside and his skin started to feel like cold cuts and despite how uncomfortable it made him, he couldn’t find it in himself to get off his ass and at least put a sweatshirt on.  

He had promised you breakfast, down the road at that little diner called Reggie’s.  Promised to get you the biggest stack of pancakes covered in whipped cream and all kinds of sprinkles along with the best, artery clogging bacon you would ever taste.  Maybe some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns.  

Whatever you wanted. 

He hadn’t seen you in days, not since the recent news broke.  His excuse of harboring the flu was not how he wanted to start daily phone calls with you.  He knew you would then mistake the stuffiness in his voice for phlegm and not his inner sorrows burrowing their way out of him.  He refused your offer to bring him homemade soup and hot tea, rejected the kindness he hadn’t deserved in the first place.  Told you that he just wanted to get healthy quickly and it wouldn’t do either of you any good to both be sick.  He left you in charge of the bar, much to Jett’s disdain, Eddie didn’t need you to confirm that for him he just knew.

Now just standing up seemed impossible.  Shifting his position on the couch to at least relieve the pressure against his tail bone wasn’t plausible.  And for what?  For a man that never gave an inch when Eddie gave him miles upon miles, practically handed over his life on several occasions.  Pathetic, he knew.  But the pain didn’t cease and he couldn’t even find it in himself to turn his head to check the time.

This was it.  

This was how you were going to come face to face with the fact that Eddie was no man.  Not a real one anyway, a facade if anything.  He could just picture it: you would await his knock at the door and it wouldn't come.  A giddy smile would spread across your face as you thought about your plans of going sledding together–he sees it so vividly in his mind.  And then you would be massively disappointed when he couldn’t deliver.  The creases at your eyes when you got overly excited would cease to exist at the mere idea of him.  He had it coming, he just didn’t think it would be so soon.

Eddie told you he was feeling better.  It was a lie.  He never had the flu.  He didn’t feel better.  He wanted to die.  And the man responsible for it wouldn’t even give a shit had he still been alive.  Now he was dead and Eddie was the one suffering.

And so his neglected stomach grumbled, his incoming stubble itched though he couldn’t find a fuck to give even in his discomfort, and the whiskey bottle ran dry far too soon.  His brain had been clogged with wishes and what he could’ve done, then declarations of it never being enough, a constant tug-of-war that migraines were made of.

He never stood a chance, his DNA had always been coded like a mutant, at least that’s how it felt deep in his bones.  There was always something off, he never resonated with life in general how everyone else did.  A flaw in the system.  And he built his entire being off of it, afterall he never had any control over the way he was perceived so what option did he have?  

Several.

He thought to himself.  

You could have gone to school, shown up.  

Could have stayed out of detention.

Gotten arrested less.

Not get arrested at all.

Could have said no.  So.  Many.  Times.

In all honesty he wanted to blame his old man but he couldn’t stop taking the hits for him even in death.  He couldn’t stop making excuses.  Any normal person would feel relief but he felt nothing but remorse.  For what, he couldn’t exactly piece it together.  Maybe it was a hidden desire to fix him, a glimmer of hope that he could make him turn his life around like Eddie had.  It would never happen, he was well aware, but a certain childish hope clung onto him, tugging on his sleeve, begging himself for reasons.

Until familiar curls similar to his own and an aura of the gentlest kind clouded his vision.  He could nearly hear her voice, smooth as butter and warm as the summer sun when he was a freckled kid.  Rosy cheeks and beautiful chocolatey brown button eyes to match his.

What’s the matter darlin’?

And he just sobbed.  And remembered.

Morning pancakes and the blues.  Muddy clothes and bubble baths laced with melodies.  Kitchen table haircuts, the softest voice humming in his ears, half inch curls littering the linoleum.  Dancing in the living room.  Refusing to eat his broccoli until she told him they were tiny trees.  Walking hand in hand to the corner store for milk and eggs, the promise of a sucker waiting for him at the cash register widening his innocent grin.  Late night cereal bowls when sleep wasn’t an option and nothing did the trick except some off brand Lucky Charms and tales of dragons and fantasy lands he wished they could run away to.

Then he remembered.

Him.

Stumbling into the kitchen on those nights more often than not, spewing nonsense.  Breaking the refrigerator door as he tripped while seeking another beer.  That door forever being duct taped and never properly fixed as promised.  Mama coaxing dad to bed before she slipped into Eddie’s tiny twin bed for the night, most nights.  Dad waking up just to shut the music off in the morning so he could sleep in.  Disappearing for days.

Mama unexpectedly passing and Eddie being so devastated that he didn’t eat for days and willingly waited at the door every day for pops to get home.  Only he rarely did.  Wayne checking in each and every day only to be on the receiving end of a temper tantrum each time.  Years and years of push back.  A clueless kid defending Indiana’s worst dad in the name of seeking some kind of normalcy.  

“My dad has a ton of jobs.”  He would beam, bright eyes and missing teeth.  

The kids would snicker.  Their mocking smiles would be mistaken for a token of friendliness.  And Eddie would once again be disappointed come the end of the day.  Because he’d realized it wasn’t normal to crawl under fences where dad couldn’t fit, to steal expensive things from “higher class pricks” as dad deemed them.  Take your kid to work day had a very different definition in his book.

So Eddie steered away from telling everyone about his dad’s work antics, opted to tell them about how he got to go to the bar with his old man every Wednesday, thinking he’d surely get praise for being considered so mature.  At least that’s how dad described it.  It wasn’t any better and the reactions were only worse.  They called his dad a drunk.  They weren’t wrong but that didn’t make him feel any less enraged.  “Spawn of Satan”, they called Eddie.  Because in truth that’s what his dad was, he just couldn’t comprehend it at the time.  Then came the christening of his formal title, a word so small but so…derogatory with the way it was spat at him.

Freak.

Spawn of Satan sounded so much worse on paper but Freak made his insides hurt.  And as he recounts the events of his life up until now, he tallies everything up.  Closure in some kind of fucked up way.  Childish thoughts of “he was still my dad” try to take over but are quickly replaced by images of their burning house, the records going up and flames and ash coating everything he had left, everything she had left.

Suddenly there’s broken glass scattered across the floor and warm blood trickling down his arm, not by any fault of his own, just pure rage and unknown strength annihilating the poor glass he attempted to drink water with.  Heartbeat in his ear, he swallows thickly and resumes his position against the kitchen cabinet–they’re going to send me back to the asylum.

All over again, even in the afterlife, dad plays his sick jokes.  Gets Eddie into trouble he never sought out–he was just getting water, it was just water and now he looks like the picture perfect case for mental instability.  No one’s seen him for days and–there’s knocking at the door.  He swears it’s not like last time- it can’t be like last time, he didn’t mean it.  This isn’t like back in Hawkins, when he was healing and the courts were making their decisions.  He thought he was a goner, decided to pull the plug to save everyone the trouble, Wayne was at work, Steve was getting him groceries, everyone else was dealing with the end of the world.  They shouldn’t have to worry about me.  With a bottle of prescribed pills in hand.

The knocking turning urgent, conclusions are drawn up in a scattered, tormented mind–surely they’d rip up his contract, the agreement in which he had been assured a promising life anywhere but Indiana.  A life he’d always longed for anyway.  

Be careful what you wish for.  

That goddamn voice taunts him.

The door shakes, manhandled from the other side and he’s forced to confront the final moments before he’s permanently put away.  “One slip up…”  They had said.  It didn’t matter if he told them it was an accident, nothing mattered if it was anyone else’s word against him.  Literally anyone.  As long as it appeared that he was a danger to himself, he was a danger to society. They were probably waiting for this moment: lock up the problem child and throw away the key.  

Cause he was nothing if not a problem.  First and foremost.

Heart beating out of his chest, breath caught in his throat, he could practically hear the sirens whether they be from an ambulance or police car or both, they were coming–

“Eddie?”

It all stopped.  

“Eddie?!”  

There was no accurate way to describe the sob that clawed its way out of his throat, a tortured cry.  The scene before you had been pulled straight out of a horror movie: your beloved Eddie covered in blood, palms pressed into his eyes, stuttered breathing in between sobs.

Upon approaching him he attempted to scoot himself away, glass shards sinking into his hands, a gasp filling the room and you were certain you needed to find someone else to–

“Please don’t make me go back!”

You couldn’t form words.

“I-it was an accident, I-I promise.”  His eyes brimmed with a fear you never could have imagined coming close to witnessing in this lifetime.  “Just–I just got some water-I didn’t mean to break it, I s-swear.  Please d-don’t let them take me.”

Glass crunched under your boots, a slow approach as you crouch in front of the shattered man with the saddest eyes you’d ever seen.  With a shaky breath and careful movements, a silent request to assess his arm and hands is made.  You’re sure your wide eyes can’t be comforting in the slightest though the shock still pulses through you.  

“I’m sorry.” 

“Shh.”  You soothe. 

Forehead pressed to his in a moment of solace, you offer a nudge, nose to nose.  A wordless commitment.  Softness he didn’t know he needed, tender touches of your fingertips to his wet cheek as if to promise a remedy for his aching heart, that you weren’t planning on going anywhere.  You weren’t leaving him like he convinced himself you would or god forbid turn him over to the authorities like he feared.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

–

Glass has been carefully swept three times over, though you were considering a fourth for good measure.  Shards had been plucked from Eddie’s poor hands, your tweezers doing the job just fine after being doused in some cheap vodka he had.  Gauze from a first aid kit you thankfully had in the car had been wrapped around the largest gash in his forearm, not large enough for stitches but large enough to wince at.  He sat there the whole time, staring at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but your face.  

The silence was heavy, a dense fog that hung low throughout his house.  Someone had to break it but both parties were finding difficulties in voicing the reality of what just occurred.  If either spoke it would make it real.  Right now it was hazy, a question of “are we dreaming or did I just walk in on a suicide attempt?” hung in the air.

He said it was an accident, and you believed him.  There was just so much unanswered and it’s the only thing that came to mind.  Anxious fingers tapped against his own thigh, occasionally twisting his rings round and round while gnawing on his lower lip.  It then dawned on you that he was the most human out of anyone you’d ever met.  

He felt on a deeper level than most.

At the touch of your gentle hand against his, his surprised eyes, parted lips, and hesitance to reciprocate hint that he hadn’t anticipated you sticking around this long after you’d found him.  In the standard of fight or flight, he froze.  Realistically he may have been sitting on his tattered couch while you tended to his wounds, both physical and emotional whether he cares to admit or not, but mentally he checked out the second he found himself surrounded by glass and tears.

“Bambi–”

“You don’t need to say anything.”

You were trying to keep it together.  His croaking voice made that hard.  But in all seriousness it wasn’t fair to throw yourself a pity party in light of Eddie’s current stability.  And you’d reject the idea of throwing him a pity party, wouldn’t even touch the idea, but you would offer him all the empathy your soul had collected in a lifetime.  Even not knowing the culprit of his now dried up tears and stinging hands, you’d go to war for him.  Maybe that was dare you even think it, love.  But that’s a crisis for another time.

“Dad died.”

Somehow the silence became even greater, a gigantic void of confusing thoughts and complicated quick conclusions.  Conclusions you backtracked on immediately.  It wasn’t your decision to declare how he should feel about a man who in your eyes and through his words put him through hell no matter how strong your sense of justice grew.      

“Oh, Eddie, I’m so–”  A soft beginning to a sympathetic apology short lived.

“It’s fucked.”  His voice cracked, stoic face crumbling no matter how hard he tried to rebuild the tough exterior.  “I shouldn’t–”  There’s a pause, an intake of shaky breath.  “I shouldn’t feel bad.”

“You’re allowed to.”

“No, no he ruined fucking–everything.”

“And you’re still allowed to mourn.  Even for as shitty of a person as he was, you were still his son and that meant something to you.”

You wished you could erase the flash of pain that glazed over his eyes; something that tells you he knew every word you spoke to be true but couldn’t quite bring himself to be at peace with it yet.  Dust collected on the coffee table in his eternity of reflection, a melancholy aura blanketing the dark cabin as wind whistled through the chimney like spirits demanding attention.  

“How’d you know?”  He finally asked, timid.

“Hm?”

“I left everyone hanging, they all think I’m out with the flu, how did you pick the exact moment I…”

“Needed someone?”

Eddie nodded, hesitantly, like those weren’t the exact words he would pick himself but they seemed to convey what was necessary.  

“Wayne called me.”  You sigh.  “Said he got my number from Steve.  Everyone wanted to jump on the first plane over y’know?”  At this a trace of a fraction of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth but he did his best to contain it.  “But it’s Christmas, flights are booked, and even then there’s a storm coming in.  Wayne said he couldn’t get a hold of you.”

“So you knew?”

“No.”  You assure, taking care to relax your features.  “Just sounded really worried, didn’t want to air everything out.  He wanted me to check in.  I guess he has some kind of godly intuition.”  You chuckle.

Eddie retracts his hand, and you know you’ve lost him to his inner battle again.  You can only imagine the bloodshed happening within, after all, you were no stranger to deconstructing your own self worth brick by brick.  The traumas he had been faced with were not anything therapy could simply remove like a tumor.  There were no treatments afterward to ensure everything would get better.  You knew this first hand, that you could try and try to get to the root but there was never any way to truly remove it to keep it from ever festering again.  It would appear, it would be when you least expected, at your worst, and it would look you in the eye and test you.

“I’ll be fine.”

Famous last words.  When the host convinces themselves but could never actually believe it to be true in their lifetime.

“But right now you’re not.”

Sabotage.  In his eyes.

“But I will be.  Don’t let me ruin your holiday just because–”

Excuses.  Deterring from the targeted enemy: grief, in the name of saving others the trouble.  A tactic you’d perfected in your years of people pleasing and feeding your tendencies to deflect your sorrows with the intent to appear invisible and self destruct.

“Stop it.”  You demand.

“No, Bambi.  Go to Donnie’s, I’m sure they’ll understand you coming early–”

“Stop.”

Rational thoughts were shoved into a neat little box somewhere else in his mind and you only hoped you could aid in retrieving it before he threw away the key.  Before he decided not even he was worthy of hearing them from himself.  And as he crossed his arms, a stubborn gesture, you braced for impact against his defenses.  His cruel inner monologue and haunted house of a brain.

Big eyes adorned with every brown hue under the sun dissipated into pure darkness.  Cold and black, lacking any of the warmth you’d previously basked in.  He was lost in an underworld he’d been promised to since birth.

“Would you listen to me?!”  Eddie’s jaw clenched in utter frustration and you swear a bead of sweat trickles into his eyebrow.  “I’m not–I don’t wanna be the guy to drag you down.  I’m not gonna be that guy, I won’t do it.  My shit is my shit.”

You weren’t going to become complicit in the reality he’d settled for, the reality in which he felt he deserved scraps and just enough attention to deter himself from going insane.

“And I’m not gonna be the one to leave you while you’re hurting.”  Finally catching his avoidant eye contact, you offer his forearm a squeeze.  A plea.  “Throw me out in the snow, I don’t care but I’m still gonna sit on your porch until you let me in.  I don’t care what holiday it is.”

“Go.”

You try not to take it personal.  It’s not personal.

“Fine.”

The last thing he hears is a slam of the door, refusing to even glance at where you previously sat adjacent to him.  The room turned colder, more vacant.  Even your energy had left with you, none spared for him of course, because why would he be spared anything from your healthy heart?  His was black and blue, barely pumping, and he’d be damned if he was going to let you perform CPR on what he considered an already lost cause.

Do not resuscitate.

As quickly as he’d accepted the death of a budding relationship, the door swung open with aggression to interrupt his mourning, smacking the wall and no doubt breaking through some drywall.  The least of his problems as he watched your determination in setting some stacked boxes on his kitchen counter before exiting again, this time leaving the door wide open.  

It was eerie, the way your second exit was so open ended.  Snow flurries entered and gusts of wind toyed with his curls, his cheeks already hurting a tad with the coldness.  Eddie wasn’t sure what to make of it, you’d dropped off a box of what appeared to be Christmas decorations and what?  Stormed off?  Somehow that hurt even more than the first time, though he’d anticipated the day you would figure out how fucked up he was and retreat.  He could prepare all he wanted but nothing stung more than the actual—

In you came, a box of ornaments under one arm and a small Christmas tree under the other.  And you got to work, setting up the three foot tree right on his coffee table, plugging it in to the nearest outlet and initiating a soft glow of white lights, instantly engulfing the room in a newfound safeness.  The tree needed fluffed and appeared to have bed head, though it still served its cheerful purpose regardless.

Eddie sat with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, on the edge of the couch, eyes shut.  An uphill battle.

“Bambi, what did I tell you–”

“You told me to go.”  You nod confidently, a frown betraying you, pulling at the corners of your mouth.   “And I did.  You didn’t say how long or—or where to go.  But I gave you time to cool off and now you’re gonna either sit and pretend Christmas isn’t a thing or you’re gonna watch the stupid little clay people on TV while I cook dinner and bake.  Either one is good with me but I’m gonna be here whether you like it or not and—“

Before you can look up amidst your rambling, a ringed finger hooks itself in one of your belt loops, tugging you into a warm chest.  

There he is.

Warmth restored in his irises and a semblance of a smirk threatened his lips.  Pale skin rosy in all the right places and endearing eyelashes framing his shy gaze down at you.  Your boy.  

Lips grazed lips, noses nudged into each other, and it all just…made sense.  Bambi and Eddie.  There is not one without the other, not anymore.  Not since you sauntered into his life, demanded a job, puked on him, made him go absolutely insane—

“I love you.”  

It just fell from his tongue.  A promise.

“I-are—are you s—“

“Am I serious?  Is that what you’re gonna ask?”  He nearly mocks your mouthful of syllables.

You nod, gulping.  Not because you’re afraid, no, never.  You’d just never seen such assurance in a single man.

“Bambi…” He tuts.  “You don’t see how bad I’ve got it for you?”

All you can manage is to dumbly bat your eyelashes up at him, mouth hung open like a fish and fists clutching the front of his shirt unknowingly, though he doesn’t mind in the slightest if you stretch out his collar.  

“Bad.”  He reiterates.  “So bad, that even if you don’t feel the same, even if you only like me out of pity—“

“I don’t—“

“I’m not finished.”  Your attempted interruption has him thumbing at your bottom lip.  “Even if you only like me out of pity, I’ll take it.  And I’ll run with it.  Far.  Because I’m pathetic—“

“You are not.” 

“I’m a pathetic man.  Who is deeply in love with you, Bambi.”  

“Stop saying you’re pathetic.”  You challenge quietly, a delicate hand tracing the stubble of his jaw.

“Oh, but I am.”  He breathes, leaving no room for argument when he presses his lips against yours as if it were his last chance.  

Did he believe it was his last chance?

And without thinking, tongues collided, teeth clashed, he had backed you into the wall and there was no telling how you found yourself palming him over rough denim, a whine escaping his throat before you’d barely touched him.

A pathetic whine dare you say.

“Sorry, sorry.”  You gasp, string of saliva connecting you like the invisible string you believed tied you to him all along.

“Don’t—ow!  Jesus fuck.”  Eddie winced, shaking his hand in the air after attempting to cup your blushing cheek.  “Forgot I had fucking…glass in my hand earlier.”

You giggle, a saccharine sound, a melody in his ears that he yearned to make more of.  Embarrassment traces your features, brows pulled into a worrisome look while you hold your hands close against your chest, afraid of further touch much to his dismay.  

“Can you…can you do that again?”  He whispers.  Terrified of the consequences but brave enough to face the rejection.

Nodding, your slow hand reaches for his cheek, thumb grazing over it before trailing down his neck.  His breath hitches, your hand traveling lower and lower, over his chest and down his stomach, exploring all that you’ve so desired only in your wildest  wet dreams.  

Lifting the hem of his shirt ever so slightly, just enough to let your fingers graze his soft skin, your main goal is to tug at that delicious happy trail.  And when you do, he can’t admit to you that he nearly cums in his jeans but you’re certain you’re on the same page when you see his eyes roll back into his skull.

 He can’t control himself when he ruts into you the second your palm meets him once again, beautiful, breathy sighs escaping his pouty, plump lips.  

“Like that, baby?”  You ask, trailing hot kisses down his throat.

“Please.”  A whisper that tells you everything.  “I-I never—no one’s ever—“  He tries to warn you.

“What?”  You encourage, tongue tracing his earlobe.  “No one’s ever taken care of you, huh?”  

“Just my hand.”  Eddie jokes, voice strained.

Guiding him to sit back on the couch, it protests beneath the weight of you both as you crawl into his lap.  Careful fingers toy with the curls at the nape of his neck, patient lips hovering over his.  Doe eyes look up at you, half in admiration, half in hesitation.  

“We can stop.”  You assure him, sweet kisses pressed to each corner of his lips.

“No, no.”  His voice shakes, chest heaving.  “I just—I don’t know exactly…what I’m doing.”  

There’s an undertone of humiliation, the opposite effect you wanted to have on him.  But you were confident that you could make him feel comfortable.  Feel sexy and wanted.

“Let me do the work.”  You whisper against his lips, slowly rolling your hips into him.  “Let me take care of you.”  

He nods, frantically moving to undo his zipper, only to be met with your delicate hands wrapping around his knuckles.  You’re so patient with him, so gentle, so unlike what he’s ever been faced with.

“I said, let me take care of you.”

Feather light kisses pressed to his knuckles, you continue rotating your hips against his, feeling his bulge in between your legs, the friction tightening the knot within you.  His eyebrows knit together, head falling back against the couch’s when you graze your fingertips just below his shirt again.  

Nails gently drag down his torso, eliciting the loudest moan you’ve pulled from him so far.  His injured hands only allow him to take their place in your belt loops again, assisting in setting the pace as you grind against him.

“Eddie.”  You whimper.

“M’ gonna cum.”  He halts your movements, only letting you hover above what was about to be sweet euphoria.  “Wanna be inside of you.”

You can only gaze at him with the utmost love, entranced by his flushed appearance and his damp curls framing his face.  

“Please, baby.  Please, I’ve got condoms—“

You have to stop his babbling by shoving your tongue in his mouth, nodding against him with a grin.  

“You bought condoms?  Boy, are you prepared—“

A playful pillow is tossed into your face, a deep groan coming from your boy.  

“Yes, I’m cautious, baby, please if you don’t sit on my dick right now, if I have to go one more minute not knowing what it’s like…”

“Shhh, okay, okay!!”  You squeal when he attempts to get up only to fail with you pushing back.  You knew damn well he was strong enough to fling you off of his lap should he choose, which only made your underwear more of a mess.

“You wanna go to the bedroom?”  You tease, nuzzling into his cheek.  

Without a second of hesitation, he launches you both off of the couch, palms against your ass only making you wonder how much his hands must hurt and how much adrenaline he must have not to care.  Playfully, Eddie tosses you onto his bed, a pile of unkempt sheets that only seemed that much more comfortable than your own bed.  You could die happily in the smell that engulfed you.  Purely Eddie.  Woodsy and minty.  A tad smoky.  And some hints of apple.

Just when you think he’s about to jump your bones, in every literal sense, you open your eyes to find him carefully adjusting the needle of his record player in the corner of the room.  And then it plays.  A rendition of Can’t Help Falling in Love.  A folkier version, a woman singing with a twang to her voice.  

“Well alright, cowboy.”  You joke, an over seductive brow raising at him.  

“Shut up.”  He grins, crossing his arms to take his shirt off and toss it behind him.  

“C’mere.”  You reach over, tugging at his belt until he hovers over you.  “Wanna see you.” 

“You are seeing me, been here the whole time.”

Quickly, he gathers what you mean as you reverse positions, pushing him back on the bed to trail your lips along his stomach.  Perfectly pretty lips follow along the scars he’d been left with years ago.  The rough texture doesn’t deter you, doesn’t scare you off like he imagined.  While your lips explore his scarred side, your hand delicately traces the dragon tattooed along his ribs on the opposite side.  Inked skin that arose with goosebumps after each touch.

As if he hadn’t already died and gone to heaven, you stop your torment on his body to discard your own shirt, leaving you in only your bra before him.  Careful to grab his hand, you drag his fingers down your chest, in between the valley of your breasts, down, down, down until you let him dip into your pants.  Beneath your damp panties, collecting slick before he catches on your clit, a moan falling so desperately from your lips. ��

“F-feel what you do to me?”

It aches.

His finger sits pressed against your throbbing clit, teasing in a way he has no idea about yet.  But he will and you’re not quite ready to relinquish that power to him…yet.  

You can’t handle the confines of clothing any longer, releasing your breasts as you unhook your bra and toss it to the side.  His eyes grow, lips parted in awe.  And when you go to shimmy your jeans off, the friction against his hand pulls a mewl from you, something so pretty and real.  

You’re completely bare, prey for him to claim although he doesn’t, he lets you have control.  And then you remove his hand, only to drag yourself over his denim covered thigh, slick coating the material without much effort.  

Catching his eyes, you watch as he brings his finger up to his lips, tongue wrapping around the digit with a moan of approval.  That’s when you decided you couldn’t drag it on any longer.

His belt buckle clinked against itself as you worked to yank his jeans down, practically drooling for his cock, drunk on the mere idea of even seeing it.  Plaid boxers ignored, you pay attention to the way it slaps against his stomach, already leaking and red.  Painfully aroused.

He barely survives when you decide to lower yourself and lick a long stripe up the underside, twitching against your tongue.

“B-baby, please.”  While grinding into nothing, poor boy.  “Wanna cum, wanna cum so bad.”

He’s been taunted enough, breaking a sweat as he lays there, fisting the sheets in his hands.  You’ve nearly brought him to tears and you’ve barely touched him.

Leaving open mouthed kisses along his reddening chest, you finally offer some relief, ripping open a condom he’d somehow grasped in his hand the entire time, rolling it onto him, and sinking down, swallowing him into your warmth.  Eddie makes the prettiest sounds, small almost hiccups and gasps.  Slowly, you work your hips against him, clit rolling just right against his pubic hair. 

He’s big, stretches you out and hits just the right spot.  Hips stuttering, he places his hands on your waist, cut hands be damned.  Eddie’s close, has been this entire time, but he can’t contain himself the second you lick up a bead of sweat from his chest to his collarbone.  The site is simply too pornoraphic for his inexperienced dick, hot cum filling the condom.  The moan he lets out as he finishes only encourages you, gets you going faster in the limited time you now have before he softens.  

Automatically you reach down to play with your clit, knowing it’ll push you over the edge though he realizes and beats you to it, a rough finger circling you in a pleasant rhythm.  Overstimulated whines fall from him but he doesn’t quit giving you what you need, what you so desperately desire.  

Then all at once, pleasure crashes down around you, pulsing around him, leaving you twitching and panting.  The record stopped playing however long ago, the silence pulling you back into the realm of Eddie’s bedroom.

 Nothing needs to be said, words aren’t on your minds.  Excuses for what just occurred are nonexistent because if you’re being honest, it was sewn into the timeline no matter what.  Forever embedded into the universe in every lifetime.  Heavy breaths carried a symphony during the cool down, sweaty chests pressed together, sticky and salty.

Absentmindedly your foot grazed against his hairy shin, fingers dancing along his chest and arm.  His bicep was toned, something you were never able to appreciate up close before but would now take all the time you wanted.  You wanted to memorize every detail of his body, every freckle, hair, and birthmark.  All of him.

His lazy hand let his fingers trail up and down your spine, writing letters unknown to you but etched into his brain for as long as he knew you.  He held a new appreciation for intimacy, something he sourly wrote off early on but now would cherish deeply.  

Girls never liked him but if he could go back in time and show younger Eddie the one girl who would ever matter to him, well he imagines younger Eddie would still be a naive dipshit about it but he could try nonetheless.  Supposes he would hit him with a “it gets better, kid” and all that sappy shit.  Something like “you’re gonna marry this girl”.  That would be okay to jump the gun on, right?

–

Cinnamon and chocolatey aromas couldn’t completely wash away the somber haze although it was fairly close.  Post sex air somewhat helped as well, though you weren’t banking on it, it wasn’t a solution, more like a deterrent that hadn’t been planned on either part.  

The little plastic tree on the coffee table decorated with years old ornaments wasn’t going to heal the bruising on an ever healing heart.  Christmas classics played on the TV but you knew Rudolph wasn’t going to erase a lifetime's worth of childhood trauma.  

It could help though.  And that’s all that mattered.  If watching Christmas classics only aided in healing a millionth of the wounds, then it was worth doing.  If decorating his once dark and depressing house with twinkling lights and garland only brought out a smidge of the inner child that needed help healing, then it was worth it.  

While Eddie slept in, you played Santa even if just with one gift, leaving it next to the coffee table, too large to fit under the small tree.  Though it didn’t start out perfect, Christmas was starting to look very familiar.  Baked goods sat out on top of the stove, cinnamon rolls, croissants, the works.  Eddie’s shitty little kitchen radio played Christmas tunes which you found yourself humming along to.  

You’d thrown together some maple bacon, drizzling actual maple syrup on the strips in hopes that they’d candy in the oven, which they did.  Hash browns sat in the skillet, slightly burned but at least there was ketchup in the fridge to cover up the burnt taste.  Snow blanketed the streets outside, snowing you in although you didn’t mind one bit.  

You’d called Donnie, heard the commotion over the line at her house, family members causing a ruckus in the background as she made pancakes.  While you were supposed to be with everyone this morning, she assured you all was well and you could hear the smirk in her voice.

Emerging from his room, Eddie’s bed head is the first thing you greet.  Curls sticking out every which way, bangs defying gravity.  Lines ran down his face, imprints from the sheets and his boxers hung low on his hips.  A dream.

“Merry Christmas to you too.”  You giggle at the way he squints in the early morning sunlight peeking through the window.  

Stretching his arms over his head, you’re forced to witness the way every muscle flexes, drool nearly falling from the corner of your mouth.  It doesn’t go unnoticed but he decides it can be addressed later.  

“Merry Christmas, did you get me some fucking curtains so I can actually see?”  He laughs, voice husky with sleep.  

“No but I can do you one better—“

“I was joking Bambi, I wasn’t actually expecting any—“

“Next to the table.”  

Your grin makes him want to run directly to you and spin you around, kiss you a few dozen times, and never leave this bubble you two have created.  Instead he hesitantly steps toward the previously mentioned gift, a large gift at that, wrapped thoughtfully in reindeer paper and complete with a large red bow.  He felt like an asshole.

“I—no I can’t—“

“Open it.”  

Eddie just stared. 

“Eddie, it’s Christmas, first thing you do is open gifts!”  You smile, approaching behind him.

Then he disappeared back into his room, the sound of him rummaging the only thing letting you know he hasn’t retreated just to hide from you.  When he walks back out, he’s hiding something behind his back, a nervous smile tugging at his face.  

“I swear—I was going to wrap it, I just—I don’t have an excuse.  I just didn’t.  I’m sorry.”  His large brown eyes plead with you, begging for forgiveness that he didn’t need to beg for in the first place.

As if defeated, he hands you a stack of records, several that probably cost a good paycheck.  And you can tell he feels it’s not even enough with the way he avoids your gaze.

“Um, it’s probably stupid, it’s just, they’re records that made me think of you.  I dunno, it’s dumb, music is just—“

“I love you.”  You interrupt.

Without another word you grab the records from him to momentarily set them on the table.  Before he knows it you're smashing your lips against his, passion being poured into every breath he takes against you.  Your hands cup his cheeks, still slightly stubbly but cute.  He wraps his large hands around your wrists, hissing at the slight sting but continuing. 

“You’re not just saying that—“

“I.  Love.  You.”  You enunciate each word with a peck.  “Point blank.  No exceptions.  You’re stuck with me old man.”

“Old man?  We’re like the same age—“

You’ll never forget the amusement on his face but what attracts your attention next are the records.  A huge stack of them.  All genres.  Some Elvis, ones that hadn’t made it in your collection yet, a few that seemed more his taste, metal.  It was a universal language and it was his preferred way of feeling.  That much you could gather.

“Um, yeah, if you don’t like them I can just…”

“Don’t like them?”  You scoff.  “I love them.”

You hold them close to your chest, as if they were books and you were in high school.  You suppose you could be what with the way butterflies erupted in your stomach.  He made you feel like you were in high school, gave you a sense of youth that had been skipped over previously.  

And he was blushing. 

“Well, uh, I just thought you know…music does a lot for me.  I picked some out that I knew you’d like.  Also put some that I like in there, I dunno why, you don’t have to listen to them.”

“Oh, we are listening to them.  Right after you open your gift.”

More blushing.

Eddie takes a few glances at the gift, as if it were there to test him.  Like Pandora’s box or something.  Then he crouches down beside it, hesitantly reaching out to peel back the paper.  A giddy grin rests on your face, records still clutched in your hold.  His face says it all once he’s torn through enough paper.  It’s a guitar case, that much he can tell, eyes nearly popping out of his head.  Then he opens the case, revealing a cherry red electric something that you couldn’t memorize the name of but all you knew was that he had his eyes on it for months before you even entered the picture.  At least that’s what the guy at the thrift shop said. 

“No fucking way.”  He smiles, half laughs.  Then repeats himself.  Over and over.

“Do you like it?”

Instead of receiving verbal confirmation, you’re nearly tackled, strong arms wrapping around you and swinging you around.  Laughter erupts from deep within you, Eddie setting you down just to kiss you deeply and with so much care you figure you’ll faint.  

“I love it, I love you.”

Later that morning, frosting coats his lips then transfers to yours in a quick kiss across his tiny dining table.  The bacon is devoured, mostly on his account, and those claymation Christmas classics elicit laughter like no other.  Deep belly laughs from the man whose legs you sit in between.  His shirt rests comfortably on your torso.

He calls Wayne, puts it on speaker, and effortless banter occurs between you three.  Wayne tells his boy to behave, wishes him a Merry Christmas, apologizes that times have been so shitty and that his flight had been canceled.  Thanks you for being there to ground his boy, tells you how much Eddie’s friends have gone on and on about you two, that he can’t wait to meet you.

Then you call up your family back home, more than likely all crammed in the same house, doing puzzles, arguing over stupid things, throwing wrapping paper everywhere.  You miss it.  But you wouldn’t trade your place right now for anything.  Eddie timidly and adorably chimes in, says hi.  Makes small talk with mom and grandma.  Grandma begs him to take a look at her station wagon when he makes his way over with you for a visit some day.  No question about it, he’s going and that’s final, according to her.  He doesn’t seem to mind though, a shy smile pulling at his lips.

Lastly you call up the gang.  Nancy answers, says everyone’s at their house as usual.  Shouting between Dustin, Steve, and Mike is heard in the background.  Something about a broken sled.  Robin takes the call hostage, telling you both about the juicy gossip amongst the group.

“And then Max—you haven’t met Max yet, Bambi, but Max left Lucas a—shit you haven’t met Lucas yet either.  This would all make so much more sense then.”

There’s talk of a summer trip, something fun everyone can join in on.  Kind of like summer camp except Nancy would of course be the ring leader by default.  She would more than likely assign the adults as camp counselors unofficially.  Eddie’s face lights up, tells her about the perfect campsite not far from his house.  Beautiful in the summertime.  Then looks at you, shares a dimpled grin and runs his thumb over your knee.

Loved ones called and bellies full, Eddie plays around with his new guitar, and softly in the background, Muddy Waters plays.  One of the records he’d gifted you.

~end~

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tags - @gravedigginbbydoll @ohauggieo @spicysix @lunatictardis @ali-r3n @batkin028 @mrsjellymunson @witchwolflea @emma77645 @emxxblog @eddiesxangel @angietherose @lottie-90 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @pullingattheroots @avalon-wolf @vintagehellfire @cryingglightningg @foreveranexpatsposts @winchester-angel @mmunson86 @witchwolflea @kurdtbean @micheledawn1975 @tlclick73 @erinekc @hazydespair @whenshelanded @corrodedcoffincumslut @ms1oftheboys @lma1986 @uglypastels @aysheashea @dashingdeb16

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I do need you.”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

New Buddie Fanfic in the "What do you want?" A Series of Fics and Ficlets

The 7th fic in the "What do you want?" Series in now available on AO3. "I do need you." - It’s late and after being on the road from Los Angeles to El Paso for more than 12 hours, Eddie and Buck are tired but they aren’t sleeping. Instead, they’re continuing to discuss things they’ve left unsaid.

"I do need you."

5.0K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Please note: the fics in this series were season 8 speculation before it began; however several things I included in the first 6 fics/ficlets, i.e. Buck's breakup with Tonsilitis along with Eddie going to visit Chris in El Paso, TX and taking Buck with him either haven't happened yet or they won't. Therefore, these are now solely based on my head FANONS and they include things I wish would happen in CANON. The CANON BT breakup is coming but I REFUSE TO WRITE ANYMORE FICS WITH T.K. 2.0 IN THEM. I’ve written two and a couple of others where he’s mentioned but I don't like the character; in fact I NEVER have and I'm too tired of Buck’s tragic repeated relationship with him to write about a character just to end up writing him out of the fic anyway. Also, as I've stated many times before, I write Buck and Eddie so they're getting ready to enter a relationship or when they're already in an established one.

___________

Here's a snippet of a conversation Buck and Eddie are having while they're in their hotel room.

___________

“Can we talk about something?”

“Of course.”

Buck nods and he takes a moment to determine the best way to say the things he wants to say.

Eddie doesn’t rush him; he just patiently waits for him to continue.

Once the words and sentences formulate inside of his mind, they begin to fall out of his mouth unbidden.  “Uh, ever since Friday morning… two times you’ve said you need me.  Once was when we were at the firehouse then you said it again a few minutes ago but um, I have to ask… do you uh, just need me to be Chris’ guardian or do you need me for you too?”

Eddie eyebrows go up so high on his forehead that they almost touch his hairline because he thought he made it crystal clear that he needs Buck in both of their lives.  Without breaking eye contact, he admits, “Buck, I need you for me and Chris and I want…”  He trails off because he was about to say he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.  Also, he was about to admit that he’s in love with him but he caught himself since he still has a lot of work to do to fix the things he broke earlier this year when he emotionally cheated with a doppelgänger and when he lied to the two people who mean the world to him, Buck and Chris.  He refuses to be in a place of mental despair when he tells the man of his dreams that he wants them to spend the next 50 or 60 years together.

He turns on the lamp, stands, walks over to Buck’s bed and stands in front of him.  After he places his hand on his shoulder with his thumb on his pulse point, he looks into those ocean blue eyes he loves so much and explains, “Buck, you’re mine and Chris’ family and I—I need you to be with me because I can’t do this alone.  You’ve been co-parenting Chris with me for the past 7 years and you’ve been part of his life longer than his mother.  You’re not a guest in our house and Buck…”  He pauses then says, “Ok… listen.”

What is Eddie going to say next? 👀

How will Buck respond? 🙃

___________

"What do you want?" - A Series of Ficlets

Currently 7 works completed; 46.4K Words: Rated; Teen and Up Audiences:  This is a series of “Fics and Ficlets” that I’ll be writing over the course of the next few weeks and my goal is to keep them under a certain number of words. I’m challenging myself to do it this way for multiple reasons but mainly because I want to see if I can write a full Buddie story by including smaller fics in a series in comparison to the multi-chapter fic I’m still in the process of writing titled, “I’m still in love with you but… I needed to learn how to love myself too!” I began writing it last year after season 6 was an epic disaster, however this time I started with my dislike for the way season 7 ended. Finally, I have several WIPs that I want to finish and I figured I can turn them all into one shot fics or ficlets to build the full story for Buck and Eddie.

Since these ficlets will be posted in order, it’s imperative to read them one after the other. Each part ends at a specific point with a cliffhanger and the next part will begin with the ending of the previous part. Therefore, parts 1 - 6 should be read prior to reading part 7 and the series will continue in that manner until it’s complete.

"You don't know math!" - 3.3K Words; Rated Teen and Up Audiences: Buck is forced to choose while Eddie might be presented with another option.

"Math is a universal language." - 5K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Eddie reconnects with an old acquaintance and they spend a lot of time together. However, now that Buck’s single, he finally tries to understand math is a universal language but when he sees Eddie talking to another guy, he wonders if it took him too long to figure it out.

“You know, it’s like that thing when you meet somebody and you just… click.” - 5.1K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: When Buck comes face to face with Eddie’s new friend; he hates it but since he’s only told Maddie about his breakup with Tommy, Eddie’s still under the impression he’s taken. Therefore, Eddie makes plans to spend even more time with his new acquaintance.

"I can't stop thinking about him." - 8.1K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Buck and Eddie are trying to move on but they can’t stop thinking about each other.

“How I hide my true feelings from others.” - 9.6K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Buck and Eddie return to therapy but they’re both not telling each other about recent events that happened. Will they finally have an open and honest conversation before it’s too late?

"We need to talk." - 11.4K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: After Eddie and Buck decide to take a weekend road trip to El Paso, TX to visit Chris, during the 12-hour drive, they talk about a lot of things they’ve left unsaid.

"I do need you." - It’s late and after being on the road from Los Angeles to El Paso for more than 12 hours, Eddie and Buck are tired but they aren’t sleeping. Instead, they’re continuing to discuss things they’ve left unsaid.

Now Available on AO3

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

°𝄞 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 °𝄞

☆ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 ☆

"You're from another time, are you?"

♬♪ 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 ♬♪

ᯓ★ previous chapter | next chapter ★ᯓ

✶࿐ Summary : you're getting the hang of it all but why does it seems to backfire everytime you try to prevent it?

✶࿐ Word Count : I hope the length is fine

✶࿐ Warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x Future!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, time travel, upside down, mentions of bullying, toxic!boyfriend, false accusation, heated argument, slight allusions to r*cism, Aaron is one of Jason's goons, this will have a brief Gareth's POV, reader being a hopeless romantic, Chrissy and reader blossoming friendship, Jason Carver once again reoccurring lol, everyone is afraid to leave one alone, NO SPOILERS! 🤭

✶࿐ What to Expect : ANGST AND FLUFF!, comedy, romance, fantasy, sci-fic, reader lives in 2024!

✶࿐ Note To Reader : y'all this is only the beginning of the angst! the next part will go crazy too but you're going to love it, I promise you that! ;))

✶࿐ Author Note : this is all you've been waiting for the Wanted! Eddie hiding everywhere as he possibly can but....a hint of him and readers relationship perhaps? 👀

𓆩♱𓆪 𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𓆩♱𓆪

❦ 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙖'𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙚 ❦

"Y/N?" he says softly laced with concern

Your eyes stings from the tears that are gathering in your waterline as you try to remain your composure

"H-Hi- I-I'm sorry, I just needed some air" you voice cracks as you tried to hide your face away from Eddie's sight

He looked back at Steve's house and back to you, "Did the news made you upset?"

It shivers you timbers from the words that he just said, you avoided that to happen right?

Does it bound to happen to him?

Does it meant to happen to him?

Whatever you do to cement that event it always finds its way to ruin his life?

"It shouldn't be like this" you frustratedly said as you sniffle

"Jason has always been like that, sweetheart, you don't have to be upset, I'm used to it" he walks over to you by the front so he can see you properly

Oh, poor him, he has no idea, he doesn't know, he doesn't know what's coming

"E-Eddie, this is different from what Jason has done to you"

"How different?"

"He wanted to do something else to you, something that is inhumane"

He chuckles dryly, "Y/N, the whole town knows that I am a trailer trash and a school freak, this is no new to me-"

"This is no laughing matter, Eddie, I am upset because I made sure this won't happen to you and to anyone who is affected by the cause of it"

He has now become shaken by the change of your tone and he knows your mind might overdrive at how many non-stop thoughts going through your head

"Wait, you said it before that I can't walk around freely...."

You watch him as he begin to place the puzzles into his mind

"Is it happening now?"

"Y-Yes"

"Fuck- w-what should we do?"

Before you can answer, Dustin, Steve everyone emerge outside as they quickly went to their respective vehicles

"What's going on?"

"It's Lucas, he needs a lift before Jason catch him" Steve runs a stressful hand through his hair as he goes in the driver's seat

"Do you know something about this, Y/N?" Dustin asks you before he throws his bagpack into the passenger's seat

"Yeah, I do, I'm coming with you-"

Without any word, Eddie takes your hand and leads you to his van, you saw how determined he is to make this all of this shit go away

You would've been blushed by the way he snaps in your seatbelt despite under the circumstances

All of you drove off to find Lucas and hopefully....

Hopefully, that he is safe

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"He is a fucking traitor"

"I'm gonna break his face"

"Not even a traitor but a liar too"

"What-"

"You know what he said back in our place right? that he knew about D&D shit but he just changes his answer that his younger sister was the one who is playing it, we've been fooled"

"Deceived, we we're deceived by him"

Patrick and Aaron both looked at him in the rearview mirror

"This....This is a part of their doing, don't you guys see it? they're deceitful because they're doing the devil's work"

"How are we able to stop them?"

"Yeah, we don't even know where they are"

Jason laughs evilly, "Don't worry, fellas, I already erupted a plan and it will work"

He then turns on the radio and it's revealed that he's the one who started it all

The rumor, the false rumor that the town is still carrying for all of these years, a lot of conspiracies circled around throughout the years

But this time? You will never ever allow it to happen

No matter it could cost your life

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"El? You got a phone call"

"From who?"

"It's your friends back in Hawkins" Joyce places a big smile on her face, El lighted up but slowly fades slightly as she already knew the call what is for

She looked back at Will who is already staring at her who is thinking the same thing

El stands up from the couch as Will takes her hand and squeeze for a reassurance that everything is going to be okay

Joyce gave El a gentle hold on her shoulder as she hands her the phone, she gave her a small smile as she leaves

"Hello?"

"Hi"

The voice, she doesn't recognize this voice, she never heard of it, but why does it feel that she is close to you?

"I-I'm Y/N by the way, I'm with your friends, they're here, and I'm sorry that I disturb you at this hour, it's just- it's important that I have to call you"

"You're from another time? are you?"

Will gave her a confused look but then he starts to put all the pieces together from what she just told him

It all makes sense now

You steady your breath but also you're perplexed as to why she already knew, "Y-Yeah- wait, how'd you know?"

"It's kinda hard to explain but I could tell you soon but why did you call?"

"Hopper.... Hopper is alive"

She almost dropped the phone and you can hear her staggering breathing, "W-what did you just say?"

"He's alive a-and Joyce and Murray are embarking on a mission to rescue and find him and Yuri is the guy who is a charlatan, he's untrustworthy but-"

"B-but- but- w-what"

"He's the only guy who can take them off from where Hopper is, I just- I'm so sorry, if I'm saying this to you now-"

"N-No, it's fine, you're from the future and I actually thought highly of you"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know my friends are safe when they're with you"

You smile for a second as you become serious again, "El, I know it isn't my place to say something about what you're dealing with and you don't know me but I understand how you feel at school because I was also at your shoes too, already dreading the day heading to school and it's.....very hard to mingle with other people who doesn't have any interest with you"

A faint tear slides through El's cheek as she takes a shaky breath, you can hear her sniffle behind the phone as you smile empathetically as if she can see you

"But one thing I know is for sure is that you don't have to put pressure on yourself just so you can be liked by other people who doesn't even deserve your wants as a friend"

There's a couple of beats of silence and you begin to think that you might have crossed over too much until she spoke again

"T-Thank you, Y/N, that's very kind of you to say, it helped me eases out what just happened earlier today" she chuckles lightly as you huff over the receiver

You looked over at your side, Dustin who is waiting impatiently, you roll your eyes playfully at him, "It's nice talking to you, El, I hope I can meet you and take care"

"You too, Y/N"

"Oh, Dustin wants to talk to you-" "Gimme that!" El giggles at the urgency and the rustling sounds of the cord

"Was it always like that?"

"Like what?"

"It feels so weirdly natural talking to her"

"Oh- god, tell me about it, everybody does but El, she's real, we can trust her"

"I know"

"El....I think the gates are opening up once again"

"What?!?"

Dustin gives El all of the full details of what just happened recently and the fact that it's not even one week yet when it feels like it's been so many things already happened around the town

Before he ends the call, El told him that he will tell it to everyone at home

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"We don't even know if we could trust him" Dustin mutters as he averts his eyes to somewhere else as Steve tries to extinguish the tension between the two teens

"Dude, if you got something to say-" Lucas stood up and Max alerted from the sudden action as she darts her eyes back to him and Dustin

"Okay, guys back up-" Steve tried to hold off Dustin but he swats his hands off of him as he walks forward to Lucas

"Lucas, don't-" Max saids firmly as she gives him a look but he needs this confrontation

"You know all what you care for is yourselves" Lucas presses as Dustin grips his fists

"Oh, how dare you to call us selfish when you fucking left us in the first place because of your stupid dream"

"Can't you just look harder??? Dustin??? You're so self-centered that you thought anyone around you is doing okay-"

Dustin pushed him by the chest and then Lucas pushes him harder knocking him off but before he hits the ground Steve catches him

You, Eddie, Chrissy, Gareth, Jeff, Lewis, Robin, Nancy and Fred overheard the rise of their voices across from the gasoline station as all of you ran out to them leaving the payphone behind

"Hey! Knock it off the both of you!"

You blocked them in the middle as you stand there looking at them in disappointment

"What happened?!?" Eddie demands as he looks at everyone

Steve huffs, "These two got into a fight, I tried to stop them-"

"You should've have let me-" Dustin tries to reach out to Lucas but you guarded him

"That's enough, kid!" Steve angrily pulls Dustin away from Lucas

"I wish I was never your friend!"

"All I wanted was all of you to support me instead the rest of you are bitter about it!"

"I said quit it!" You shout out loud making them shut up

"Dustin, you overlooked him-"

"He fucking ditched us! Y/N!"

"It's because he is goddamn tired of being bullied all the time! I can't even fucking blame him for it and just hear him for a moment?!?"

Lucas was surprised that you chose his side, he is now grew even more fond of you

"Correction, Dustin, he didn't leave all of you, he was still there but all of you guys ever did was to rant about him being with his sports friends, of course, he will get drained dealing about it, you didn't even care for once what he might even feel like when that's not only what he was trying to endure"

Your words crack through Dustin's rage as he calms himself down, Steve sighs as he places his hands over his hips in a stressful manner

"and now, he is here and he is back and you're pushing him away again because he realized that the people that he met in there he thought might be good like his old friends are but it doesn't, Dustin, he didn't forget about all of you, he just wants you to be there for him no matter what he wanted to reach for his goals, he just wants you to let him"

Dustin pursed both of his lips as he tries not to breakdown and cry in front all of you as he nods in understanding of your words

Lucas ducks his head down as he quietly sobs and Max rubs his back gently, she feels like she owe him an apology and she felt guilty, your words strucked her too

"What the fuck are you guys fighting for when there's a big- erase that- huge problem is among us"

You throw your hands up as you scratch your forehead and shook your head sideways, you're slightly mad at the both of them but also glad that they finally got that shit out of their away

This is why communication is always important in every relationship

"Now, let's go before the cops find Eddie"

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"You might get me into trouble, my friend"

"I told you they're keeping monsters inside of that and we're the bait!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Have you located it?"

"Why should I believe you?"

"I'm telling the truth"

Enzo thinks for a moment as he keeps on stealth mode as they continue to walk to bring back all the prisoners inside of the compound

"He told me that they're on their way"

Hopper looks at him in a brief second as he catches the hopeful glint on his eyes as he kept calm as Enzo locks the bars

"You better not cross me"

"I will not, I just want to get home and be with my family"

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"How's the trip with the girls?"

Chrissy almost yelped in shock as she clutches her chest when Jason opens up the light in the living room

"Jason!" She speaks breathy as she stabilized her beating heart

"Hey darlin" he grins as he walks slowly towards her, Chrissy on the other hand tries not to show nervousness in front of him knowing that all of you are waiting inside of Eddie's van on 3 blocks ahead from where she's at

"Hello- uh- h-how did you get in?" She gulps as she felt the sides of his fingertips brushing her cheeks

Chrissy loved Jason, really, she loved him, despite his awful behavior towards other students she still accepts him even though she admit it without a second thought in her heart when he does make their lives miserable, she is ashamed of it all

And now, that feeling, grew more even stronger, the fact something tells her that he's the one who caused all of this

She might not be surprised at it because she already knew that Jason would do something like that, the trust that she has on him is fading away and it disappoints her

"I picked the lock" he shrugs as if he did not just committed a crime

He fucking trespassed???? What the hell???

"Jason, you know that's against the law-"

"Are you saying that I got no right to check on my girlfriend?"

"N-No, that's not what I- I mean! you could've- just- called-"

Chrissy saw the red-rimmed tint on his eyes, a sign that he hasn't got any sleep and his aura screams lethal fucking danger

She tries her best not to be uncomfortable around him but he is making it hard not to

He stops walking around her for a second, he turns his whole body at her, towering over her as they both walked backward until Chrissy's back hits the wall

"You're not lying to me, are you?" He emphasize the word as he kept his eyes on her

Oh, Chrissy knows how bad when Jason gets mad, all he sees is red whenever he has it

"No-"

"If I catch you lying, you know I hate liars, honey"

Before the fear eats her up, she coos at him, "Baby, I think you need to rest, you don't want to be cranky in the morning" she says sweetly but deep inside??? She is terrified if this won't work

Jason licks his lips as he sighs deeply, "Hmm"

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, you need to rest as well too"

Both of them said their goodbye's as she watches him leave with his car, she can't believe that she stopped breathing air for all of that stuff that she did to Jason

Chrissy went stomping upstairs heading at her bedroom as she begins to pack everything that she needed

Her parents are not always available during weekdays, so, she's got all the house by herself as she locks the door properly, she might even change the damn lock after all of this business with the upside down is over

Out of the blue, she bumped into someone, she almost screeched that it could waken the entire neighborhood

"Hey, it's me!"

Chrissy rips out the hand away from her mouth as she pushes him, "Gareth! You scared me half to life!"

He chuckles nervously, "I'm sorry but uh- for forgiveness? I could carry your bag" he offers

She huffs as she hands out the bag and motion at him to get on walking

The walk to Eddie's van had a minute to get there, it was windy and moonlight shines prettily

Gareth is walking beside her, glancing at her every moment that he can, he likes the way her hair falls so effortlessly, the long sleeves are too big for her as she always scrunching it up to her arms

The silence is taking so long, he might not be even to talk to her soon

He clears his throat, "Are you okay?" He genuinely asks as he waits for answer patiently

She looks at her with that sad glint on her eyes, she lets out an exhausting sigh, she shakes her head as she looks back at the path in the sidewalk, "No, I am not" she crosses both of her arms

He tugs up a small smile and then it is not his intention to eavesdrop at their conversation earlier but he doesn't understand yet that he feels upset that douchebag Jason treats her like that, "Is he always like that to you?"

"Well, if he's in a good mood, no, but I don't know anymore-" she answers absent-mindedly as she halts her tracks also Gareth stopping at the same time

"Are you listening to us over there?!?" She pokes at his chest so harshly that making him exclaim with pain that made Chrissy rolls her eyes

"Hey, that hurt!"

"What are you even doing outside anyway?!?"

"I just wanted to look out for you!"

Chrissy is taken aback at that as she looks at him up and down as she raises her eyebrow

Oof, Gareth is in big trouble now

Gareth cheeks turns into tinge pink as he swallows hard, "Y-You know after all what Y/N has done for you, of course, it is normal for me to feel worried for you-"

Chrissy is amused at this as she nods slowly as she turns her back to continue walking

Gareth smacks his forehead as he jogs up behind her

"It doesn't mean anything-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, doofus"

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"You got everything that you need?"

"Yeah, I do"

"You really can't stay over at my house?"

You smile gratefully at him, "I can't, Steve, I'm sorry- but thanks for the suggestion though"

He nods in understanding but you know that he is worried for you, it is evident on his eyes, the way he looks at you, it always lingers

"Okay, but please, do call me, if anything happens"

"Noted"

He gives you a side hug as he picks up the paper plates as all of you eat dinner at the Rick Reefer's house where Eddie thinks it's the best place to hideout

It is covered in the woods, but still you're not so confident that you can both stay here, it is better to be careful with every move and always alerted

You told everyone that they can go home and be on their own now but it seems like anyone else can't leave one another after all they just witnessed

It is not so easy to just move on and act like nothing happened but no matter you try to protest, they stick with you at the end

Steve said the rest will stay over at his house, Chrissy on the other hand wants to be with you, he lets her knowing that you knew much more what was going on with her than he does

"What are you still doing here?"

You opened up the garbage bag as you put all of the canned soda on it, "I volunteered to stay with you"

Perplexed expression is written on his face as he finishes the last drop of his soda as he reaches the bag out of your hands, "Why?"

"This fucking guy, I swear to god, why does he want me to just spit it out" you think to yourself

"It's because I know what will happen to you remember? I'm from the future, so, it is important that I should be here" you snatched off the bag out of his hands as you walk past over to him cleaning out every trash that you see

The sound of the cans makes a clinking sound as the blurred conversations from the kids can be heard on the living room with very dim lights on

You went at the backdoor as he follows you out as you throw the bag in the garbage can

"Don't you want to be at Steve's?"

"Why are you asking too many questions, Eddie?"

"My bad, it's just-"

"What?"

"I think I'm new to all of this- uh- kindness" he rubs the back of his neck as he averts his eyes elsewhere

His sudden shyness is always endearing to you that it made your eyes soften, "Well, Eddie, I think this is called helping, I am helping you"

"Why would you do that? I didn't asked for you-"

"You don't have to because I wanted to"

He tilts his head at that as he takes in your words, oh- god- help- almighty, you saw how his eyes flickers into something that you can't read yet

No, you're from the future, he's from the past, you're being delusional, it is impossible to happen

The moment your hair gets into your face because of the cool night air wooshed in the area, you're about to tuck it behind your air but you felt someone else's touch

It's him, it's Eddie, Eddie fucking Munson

You furrowed your brows when you watched him step closer to you, he looks at you so dreamily that you absolutely swore that he memorized every single thing in your features

You have been this close, hell- you went to bed with him the other day, your heart might stopped beating soon, you get another whiff from his musk cologne and its making it hard

You thought he is finished with him tucking your hair behind your ear, but he moves down to your cheek as he holds it and he lets it there

You're so extremely so fucking confused right now but also the same time???? You're baffled that you're experiencing this and it's Eddie Munson

This shouldn't be happening right???? This isn't supposed to happen and it's not right

Your mind is going in circles, you wanna run away from him, but also savoring and breathing in this moment even for just a while

"Y/N"

He says your name and it so soft that you could hear it melting down to your ears

"Yes?" You managed to say with a confused look but also with a thumping heart

"You're the only girl that has ever truly shown to me what it is to be protected and cared for"

Your breath hitches when he moved closer and if goes some for more, he can kiss you and it frightens you

"Eddie" you try to remove his hold on you but he won't budge as it gets even worse, he keeps you steady by holding you at the waist

"Please, just listen, I-I am thankful that you're going to stay when I thought you will leave me"

"Of course, I'm not leaving you behind, Eddie, you deserve to be appreciated, always"

"I am still in disbelief from all of the things that you said to me"

"Don't ever think that you're not worthy to be loved, Eddie"

Your eyes widen when he leans closer-

"Y/N, Eddie- where-" Chrissy's jaw drops when she saw you and him mere inches close

You step back and walk away and you know damn well a pair of chocolate button eyes is glued to your back and you pretend like everything is going fine but a knowing look is present on Chrissy's face as she nods along to your excuses as you went inside of the house

She slowly turns her head around at Eddie who is a blushing mess as he waves a dismissive hand at her as she smirks at him

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

You wrap your hair in a towel as you saw Chrissy fluffing out of the pillows with a smug smile on her face

"Don't fucking start, Chrissy"

"What?!? I'm not even doing anything!"

"Well, wipe that eat shiting grin off your face!"

"If it affects you so much that means you like him-"

You give her a death stare as you rip off the towel from your head as you hang for it to dry in the rackets as you start to brush your hair

"No, wait- you love him!"

"I wanna go home so freaking bad-" the answer that Chrissy wanted is so obvious how your cheeks turns to bright red as she giggles at your side

"Why? Do you have a boyfriend back there?"

It's like a real fucking connection that you could feel that Eddie is behind that door when in fact he is listening to your conversation together as you look at it before you bring your eyes back to Chrissy

Eddie clenches his jaw as he thinks so bitterly about you having a boyfriend when it should've been him

"Uh, no, I don't have a boyfriend-"

He raises both of his eyebrows the same time Chrissy reacted at the reveal

"What?!?" She exclaims as if she receives the worst news of her life

You chuckled at her reaction as you lay your blanket as you released a soothing sigh as you went all the way down to the bed

She propped her elbows to look at you in disbelief, "Wh-What do you mean that you don't have any boyfriend?!?"

You laugh breathy as you went serious, "For starters, I have very high standards when it comes to men and if it's so hard to find the right one on this era then it is much more excruciatingly hard to find the one at my time"

"Oh, true" she smiles sadly at that when it hits her, you're right, your words resonate with her situation too

"I'm sorry if I reacted that way, you look pretty and I think you're cool, any guy would be lucky to have you, Y/N"

"Wow, thanks?"

"Oh my god, just take the compliment!"

"Okay, okay"

Eddie sits down on the floor quietly on the side of the closed door with a lovesick smile on his face as he continues to listen

"I really hate talking about my personal life but I just wanted to have something so real and I don't do dates, hell- I don't even have a relationship all my life, I've never had a boyfriend, it's because when I do it, I wanna be like, okay, this is it, I want you, we're going to spend the rest of our lives loving each other and you know, I just don't wanna pick the wrong guy that it would end me getting hurt and kicked around for fun, I want love that is so lasting that you won't get tired of me that we both understand each other with mental connections"

Chrissy listening very carefully to your words as you noticed the slight teary pricks on her eyes

"I do enjoy the life of me being single, you know, just hanging out with your bestfriends but yeah, sometimes, I do wonder what it is like to be loved to be truly loved by someone else that you loved them the same way as they do you know?, I do yearn and longed for that feeling, but.....I just can't, I really don't want to waste my life with the wrong soul, I can't bond over that"

"You got me thinking there, Y/N, what you just said is true, it must've been so great to find your person"

"Exactly"

"Do you have lots of bestfriends?"

"Nah, I only have one"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not much of a popular kid at school too"

"They're clearly missing out on you"

"Damn right"

You both laughed at each other as Eddie smiles so widely at that but he processes everything that you just said to Chrissy

Your expectations and his standards are just the same thing as you do, he sighs deeply as he thinks about on how he can pull this off

He stands up as he takes off his leather jacket as he settles himself on the couch

He puts his other arm under his head as he speaks the words

"Y/N, words can't describe how much I fall for you from the day that I saw you in the woods....appearing into my life, jumping into my world without any context..."

He chuckles to himself when he is so sure of his heart as he can feel it pumping really hard and fast whenever he thinks about you

"Yeah, you're right, Y/N, you're my future"

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taglist <3 : @paleidiot @marsmallow433 @whothefckissofia @letsfallinlove-blog @silky-luxe @imagine-all-the-imagines @theladyasgard @mayaluvzyou @mewchiili @crystalr @sadbitchfangirl

(chapter 5 has officially dropped! I hope y'all didn't forget about me and this series! I still hope that all of you are looking forward to this story that I created, I'm so sorry if it's taking way too long but my life had so many happenings and thank you so much for understanding, support and enjoying this! 🥺🫶🏻✨)

[thewolvesof1998]

Fuck it Friday

Thanks to @daffi-990 for the tag! Please go check out her snippet of her now finished fic!

Here's another snippet from short shorts + crop top fic (which needs a better name maybe 'only the already bad can be influenced'? let me know what you think of the name or if you have any suggestions). Since the majority of you guys voted for all the spicy here's the beginning of the workplace smut:

“Buck,” Eddie pants as Buck continues to roll his hips into Eddie’s, his lips now exploring his neck, in a way that is boarding on the possibility of leaving a mark where people will see it. “Buck, Darlin’ you need to stop, we’re at work.” Buck pulls away from his neck, his hips stopping their ministrations, “Seems you don’t really want me to stop,” he says, nodding down to Eddie’s own hips that had mindlessly continued to chase friction, Eddie grits his teeth forcing his hips to still, “Plus, I’m not on shift.” Eddie snorts, “Like Bobby will care about that when he’s writing us up.” “We’ll be quiet,” Buck's hands land on Eddie’s belt.  “What if the bell goes?” “We’ll be quick,” He slides the strap out of the buckle, “Come on baby you know you want to,” The belt falls open.  Eddie throws his head back, knocking it lightly on the shelf, “Dios mio, you’re such a bad influence.” “We can stop, I’m sure Bobby’s got lunch on the table by now,” Buck pulls his hands away and Eddie’s got his fingers wrapped around Buck’s right wrist before he can move further away. Buck raises an eyebrow but Eddie just guides his hand back to his waistband.  Buck chuckles, “Only the already bad can be influenced.” The button pops open, next is the zip and then Buck’s reaching into his pants. Eddie gasps at the sensation of having someone else’s hand on him after so long.

and just because it's fuck it friday, fuck it and have snippet from my halloween fic:

Eddie pushes Buck until he takes a step back and then another until his legs hit the edge of the couch and then he’s falling back onto it, his hands sliding down and grabbing Eddie’s hips and pulling him down with him. Eddie ends up straddling Buck and the new position allows him to take a few breaths of fresh air and it clears his head enough to realise this was a conversation they should probably have before they go any further.  His teeth recede until he's able to talk normally, “Buck, there's something we…wolves do when inviting someone into their pack, an exchange.” “Of what?” “Scent...sometimes, depending on the person, a mark, a bite.” “A mating bite?” Eddie nods, he’s not surprised that Buck already knows this because Buck always does the research. “Do you want to bite me?” Buck asks breathlessly, his fingers tighten on Eddie’s hips, hard enough to leave bruises even with his quick healing. Eddie gasps and grindes down into Buck’s lap.  “Yeah, yes, Buck,” Eddie pants, his hands sliding down his shoulders to Buck’s still chest, “I-you need to know if we continue, there’s no going back.” “I want it, I want you.”  “Christ, Buck,” Eddie closes his eyes, trying very hard to hold back from taking him right now.  “I’m in love with you Eds,” Buck whispers and it has Eddie opening his eyes, he can see the truth of his words writing all over Buck’s face.  “I love you too, so much,” He cradles Buck’s jaw, “but Buck this is a forever thing.” “And I feel forever about this, about you, don’t you?” Eddie leans in and presses his lips into Buck’s, “Yeah, baby I do,” he mumbles against them. He can’t believe that they had their first kiss after discussing exchanging a mating bite, something more sacred than marriage for his kind. Eddie supposed they’ve never done things the right way, so why start now. 

and if you've made it this far here's a sneak peek of a fic to do with a certain rodeo star 👀 that I might have started working on chapter 3...

Tagging: @wikiangela @wildlife4life ​ @eddiebabygirldiaz​ @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @bekkachaos @buddierights @forthewolves @911-on-abc @hippolotamus @shitouttabuck @911onabc @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediaztho @your-catfish-friend @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @mangacat201 @theotherbuckley @hoodie-buck @eowon @rainbow-nerdss @nmcggg @pirrusstuff @evanbegins @giddyupbuck @sammy-souffle

[andvys]

!! i am so excited for this new chapter, going to physically restrain myself from checking tumblr every five mins tomorrow🤭 i know steve & blondie have come MILES from where they started opening up wise, but i feel like blondie emotionally still has some walls up around steve (mostly in regards to the unrequited feelings etc) but do you think they will address everything they went through in the beginning?

i just did a full re-read & i realized how they still were enemies (dare i say frenemies?) after the initial post-vecna/jason trauma. did they ever discuss steve’s worry for blondie / blondie’s feelings about it with each other? did it make her think about billy’s death aside from the moment with eddie? sorry for so many questions dwoht has taken over my brain i love it sm THANK YOU for writing it!!

I'm glad you're so excited for the new chapter 🤭 and you're right! she still has some walls up and definitely didn't show her vulnerable side to him all that much yet! he will definitely get to know a different side to her once she finally lets them all down! and yes, they will talk about everything!

I'm glad you love the fic so much that you even reread it 🥹😭 and yes they were absolutely more frenemies than enemies!

and no, they never really talked about how much Steve worried about her, he made it pretty clear when he scolded her for trying to smoke weed, weeks after the surgery (in chapter 2) tho!

the whole Vecna thing, her almost dying because of Jason and almost losing Eddie definitely made her think about Billy! She definitely suffered a lot during her recovery, not only did she get pulled into that world, she also found out what really happened to Billy and Chrissy, she also faced a major fear that hasn't been addressed yet 👀 she nearly died herself and she woke up to Steve being by her side only for him to act like a major dick afterwards -- she probably dealt with a lot of dissociation during her recovery and questioned what's real or not 😅

[aidaronan]

AIDA!!! ohohoh i am L👀king!!!!! at ooh witchy!!!! that snip!! the vibe so far!!! the concept!!! I LOVE!!! i am waving my magic wand and casting a spell for you to write three more sentences on it!!! 💕

Thank you for the ask friend! Listen it's dark and romantic and deeply horny and has a semi love triangle between Eddie and Stevie and the eldritch deity Eddie summons just trying to graduate high school. Anyway, here's three more lines/the beginning of a new chapter. And a little taste of the platonic Eddie/Chris(sy) the fic also has. It was Tuesday, and there were about twenty people at the Hideout, four of whom had taken any kind of interest in them. Three if Eddie didn’t count Chris, nursing his Sprite at a table near the stage, clad in a homemade Corroded Coffin shirt that clashed violently with the rest of his outfit. “Alright ladies,” Eddie said, turning to the rest of his band, “let’s make this the best goddamn show all four of our fans have ever fucking seen.”

[mtreebeardiles]

Can you tell me about The Project, pt 2 👀

Ah! So THAT one is the title of an upcoming chapter for my ME:A long fic, The Paths You Take. It's given me a lot of false starts, so I changed gears recently and decided to try it from a different character's POV haha.

Below the cut as always, not sure who's read what and who's played what haha. Thanks for the ask!

It was funny, Sara thought as she eased into her seat, how you could traverse the wide expanse of time and space, find yourself somewhere completely new, only to wind up in situations that hit a little too close to home. Meetings like this one, for instance, her brother at her side and Cora on his other, three members of the original human Pathfinder Team arrayed across from Initiative Directors, and it was hard not to think of times before, similar meetings in similar rooms, her brother tense and fidgeting with restless energy, Cora calm, cool, and serene, and Sara deceptively relaxed in the face of censure. 

It just wasn't their dad on the other side of the table, this time. 

Sara settled in her chair, crossing one leg over the other, arms braced on the rests, and kept her expression carefully blank as she examined the group of people she'd only met briefly since waking up from her coma. Director Tann, of course, eyes inscrutable but tension undeniable; Addison Foster, sour-faced and irritated; Nakmor Kesh, the Krogan sitting proudly straight and offering a toothy grin to the humans across from her. A friendly gesture, Sara surmised, especially when she noted Scott's shoulders relaxing a touch beside her in response. 

The Turian, Kandros, also seemed less than hostile, having been the last to arrive and giving Scott a polite nod of acknowledgement before settling into his seat beside Addison. 

There was a long, heavy moment drawn taut between the two groups before Tann finally leaned forward, clasping his hands atop the table in front of him. 

"Now that we are all accounted for," he began, and those dark eyes were fixed on Scott's, "I would like to formally begin this meeting. My assistant," he nodded to another Salarian not seated at the table with them, but rather situated at a small desk in the corner, "will record and take notes for posterity. It seems we have been too…lax, in our communications, our…expectations, for how things work in the Initiative." 

You disobeyed direct orders, and now I am taking steps to ensure you can't weasel your way out of the consequences should you try it again, Sara translated. The data leak of Scott's findings for Meridian had been a masterful stroke, if it had been done deliberately, and Sara had a feeling that was the case. Information, something concrete, would've been preferable, but she liked to think her instincts hadn't dulled too much during her excessively long nap.

When your twin was an impulsive force of nature, you learned a thing or two about diplomacy.

"We're paving a new way forward," Tann went on, reaching out for a datapad that sat within easy reach. "Adapting, learning, growing. Things were never going to be perfect -- no one who sighed up for this opportunity expected things to go exactly as planned. Be that as it may, Initiative leadership nonetheless developed…protocols. Contingencies. Plans and backup plans, and backup plans for our backup plans. Clear directives aimed to minimize friction, to encourage…collective effort."

The gravity field shifted beside her, the disturbance as familiar as her own, and she moved her hands into her lap in a quiet, easy gesture, sending an eddy right back. Keep calm, Scotty. She wasn't sure what it was about Tann's words that seemed to unsettle him, beyond the usual lack of patience her brother had for pointless pretty talk, and felt a sliver of her own frustration try to worm its way through. 

Months of missing out, and now I'm stuck learning the politics of this place on the fly. 

But she'd learn. She always did. 

[rillabrooke]

lots happening in this chapter! i am so normal about this book!

tracking:  pretty words, i’m crying, love, violence/hatred, duality, les mis parallels, foreshadowing

"prevaricate" to avoid telling the truth; to be evasive

"peroration" the concluding part of a speech (i think dickens opened a dictionary to the p section and went to town)

"'If it should go ill with the prisoner, I have ensured access to him, once.'" if it should go ill... and as this is a work of fiction, it must go ill.

"'You are a good man and a true friend' . . . 'And I could not respect your sorrow more, if you were my father.'" :') sydney finally has a family again. his father's death, as we've seen, was the beginning of the end of sydney's life, so to have mr. lorry be his father-figure is like saying he has a new lease on life.

"'How does she look?' 'Anxious and unhappy, but very beautiful.' 'Ah!' It was a long, grieving sound, like a sigh—almost like a sob." sydney: i shouldn't see her. it wouldn't be good for either of us. also sydney: how does she look 👀👀

"Taking note of the wasted air which clouded the naturally handsome features, and having the expression of prisoners’ faces fresh in his mind, he was strongly reminded of that expression." i am UNWELL.

"'I understand the feeling!'" i think i just made a long, grieving sound, like a sigh—almost like a sob ;-;

"'You speak like a Frenchman.' 'I am an old student here.' 'Aha, a perfect Frenchman! Good night, Englishman.'" sydney truly epitomizes the book, doesn't he?

"It was the settled manner of a tired man, who had wandered and struggled and got lost, but who at length struck into his road and saw its end." 1) great line. 2) javert's suicide also references a road to symbolize a great change in life: "Before him he saw two roads, both equally straight; but he did see two; and that terrified him––he who had never in his life known anything but one straight line. And, bitter anguish, these two roads were contradictory. One of these two straight lines excluded the other. Which of the two was the true one?" — Les Miserables, Book Four: Javert Off the Track, Chapter I:  Javert Off the Track 3) i am pretty sure roads are also mentioned in jean valjean's book equivalent of "who am i?", and valjean's conversion/change of heart/etc. takes place on a road.

"Long ago, when he had been famous among his earliest competitors as a youth of great promise, he had followed his father to the grave. . . . 'I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die.'" oh man... this is the whole theme of the book. it's an undeniable motif—i am the resurrection and the life; recalled to life; resurrection man; an empty grave... you can read more of my thoughts about it here.

"He carried the child over, and before the timid arm was loosed from his neck asked her for a kiss." sydney can't help himself but help others. in that way, he hasn't changed at all. however, he's a lot nicer about it now.

". . . watching an eddy that turned and turned purposeless, until the stream absorbed it, and carried it on to the sea.—'Like me!' . . . As its silent track in the water disappeared, the prayer that had broken up out of his heart for a merciful consideration of all his poor blindnesses and errors, ended in the words, “I am the resurrection and the life." a return of the motif.

"When her husband was brought in, she turned a look upon him, so sustaining, so encouraging, so full of admiring love and pitying tenderness, yet so courageous for his sake, that it called the healthy blood into his face, brightened his glance, and animated his heart. If there had been any eyes to notice the influence of her look, on Sydney Carton, it would have been seen to be the same influence exactly." ;-; 💕

"The whole jury, as a jury of dogs empannelled to try the deer." a fun simile.

Book the Third—The Track of a Storm

[X] Chapter IX. The Game Made

While Sydney Carton and the Sheep of the prisons were in the adjoining dark room, speaking so low that not a sound was heard, Mr. Lorry looked at Jerry in considerable doubt and mistrust. That honest tradesman’s manner of receiving the look, did not inspire confidence; he changed the leg on which he rested, as often as if he had fifty of those limbs, and were trying them all; he examined his finger-nails with a very questionable closeness of attention; and whenever Mr. Lorry’s eye caught his, he was taken with that peculiar kind of short cough requiring the hollow of a hand before it, which is seldom, if ever, known to be an infirmity attendant on perfect openness of character.

“Jerry,” said Mr. Lorry. “Come here.”

Mr. Cruncher came forward sideways, with one of his shoulders in advance of him.

“What have you been, besides a messenger?”

After some cogitation, accompanied with an intent look at his patron, Mr. Cruncher conceived the luminous idea of replying, “Agicultooral character.”

“My mind misgives me much,” said Mr. Lorry, angrily shaking a forefinger at him, “that you have used the respectable and great house of Tellson’s as a blind, and that you have had an unlawful occupation of an infamous description. If you have, don’t expect me to befriend you when you get back to England. If you have, don’t expect me to keep your secret. Tellson’s shall not be imposed upon.”

“I hope, sir,” pleaded the abashed Mr. Cruncher, “that a gentleman like yourself wot I’ve had the honour of odd jobbing till I’m grey at it, would think twice about harming of me, even if it wos so—I don’t say it is, but even if it wos. And which it is to be took into account that if it wos, it wouldn’t, even then, be all o’ one side. There’d be two sides to it. There might be medical doctors at the present hour, a picking up their guineas where a honest tradesman don’t pick up his fardens—fardens! no, nor yet his half fardens—half fardens! no, nor yet his quarter—a banking away like smoke at Tellson’s, and a cocking their medical eyes at that tradesman on the sly, a going in and going out to their own carriages—ah! equally like smoke, if not more so. Well, that ’ud be imposing, too, on Tellson’s. For you cannot sarse the goose and not the gander. And here’s Mrs. Cruncher, or leastways wos in the Old England times, and would be to-morrow, if cause given, a floppin’ again the business to that degree as is ruinating—stark ruinating! Whereas them medical doctors’ wives don’t flop—catch ’em at it! Or, if they flop, their floppings goes in favour of more patients, and how can you rightly have one without t’other? Then, wot with undertakers, and wot with parish clerks, and wot with sextons, and wot with private watchmen (all awaricious and all in it), a man wouldn’t get much by it, even if it wos so. And wot little a man did get, would never prosper with him, Mr. Lorry. He’d never have no good of it; he’d want all along to be out of the line, if he, could see his way out, being once in—even if it wos so.”

“Ugh!” cried Mr. Lorry, rather relenting, nevertheless, “I am shocked at the sight of you.”

“Now, what I would humbly offer to you, sir,” pursued Mr. Cruncher, “even if it wos so, which I don’t say it is—”

“Don’t prevaricate,” said Mr. Lorry.

“No, I will not, sir,” returned Mr. Crunches as if nothing were further from his thoughts or practice—“which I don’t say it is—wot I would humbly offer to you, sir, would be this. Upon that there stool, at that there Bar, sets that there boy of mine, brought up and growed up to be a man, wot will errand you, message you, general-light-job you, till your heels is where your head is, if such should be your wishes. If it wos so, which I still don’t say it is (for I will not prewaricate to you, sir), let that there boy keep his father’s place, and take care of his mother; don’t blow upon that boy’s father—do not do it, sir—and let that father go into the line of the reg’lar diggin’, and make amends for what he would have undug—if it wos so—by diggin’ of ’em in with a will, and with conwictions respectin’ the futur’ keepin’ of ’em safe. That, Mr. Lorry,” said Mr. Cruncher, wiping his forehead with his arm, as an announcement that he had arrived at the peroration of his discourse, “is wot I would respectfully offer to you, sir. A man don’t see all this here a goin’ on dreadful round him, in the way of Subjects without heads, dear me, plentiful enough fur to bring the price down to porterage and hardly that, without havin’ his serious thoughts of things. And these here would be mine, if it wos so, entreatin’ of you fur to bear in mind that wot I said just now, I up and said in the good cause when I might have kep’ it back.”

“That at least is true,” said Mr. Lorry. “Say no more now. It may be that I shall yet stand your friend, if you deserve it, and repent in action—not in words. I want no more words.”

Mr. Cruncher knuckled his forehead, as Sydney Carton and the spy returned from the dark room. “Adieu, Mr. Barsad,” said the former; “our arrangement thus made, you have nothing to fear from me.”

He sat down in a chair on the hearth, over against Mr. Lorry. When they were alone, Mr. Lorry asked him what he had done?

“Not much. If it should go ill with the prisoner, I have ensured access to him, once.”

Mr. Lorry’s countenance fell.

“It is all I could do,” said Carton. “To propose too much, would be to put this man’s head under the axe, and, as he himself said, nothing worse could happen to him if he were denounced. It was obviously the weakness of the position. There is no help for it.”

“But access to him,” said Mr. Lorry, “if it should go ill before the Tribunal, will not save him.”

“I never said it would.”

Mr. Lorry’s eyes gradually sought the fire; his sympathy with his darling, and the heavy disappointment of his second arrest, gradually weakened them; he was an old man now, overborne with anxiety of late, and his tears fell.

“You are a good man and a true friend,” said Carton, in an altered voice. “Forgive me if I notice that you are affected. I could not see my father weep, and sit by, careless. And I could not respect your sorrow more, if you were my father. You are free from that misfortune, however.”

Though he said the last words, with a slip into his usual manner, there was a true feeling and respect both in his tone and in his touch, that Mr. Lorry, who had never seen the better side of him, was wholly unprepared for. He gave him his hand, and Carton gently pressed it.

“To return to poor Darnay,” said Carton. “Don’t tell Her of this interview, or this arrangement. It would not enable Her to go to see him. She might think it was contrived, in case of the worse, to convey to him the means of anticipating the sentence.”

Mr. Lorry had not thought of that, and he looked quickly at Carton to see if it were in his mind. It seemed to be; he returned the look, and evidently understood it.

“She might think a thousand things,” Carton said, “and any of them would only add to her trouble. Don’t speak of me to her. As I said to you when I first came, I had better not see her. I can put my hand out, to do any little helpful work for her that my hand can find to do, without that. You are going to her, I hope? She must be very desolate to-night.”

“I am going now, directly.”

“I am glad of that. She has such a strong attachment to you and reliance on you. How does she look?”

“Anxious and unhappy, but very beautiful.”

“Ah!”

It was a long, grieving sound, like a sigh—almost like a sob. It attracted Mr. Lorry’s eyes to Carton’s face, which was turned to the fire. A light, or a shade (the old gentleman could not have said which), passed from it as swiftly as a change will sweep over a hill-side on a wild bright day, and he lifted his foot to put back one of the little flaming logs, which was tumbling forward. He wore the white riding-coat and top-boots, then in vogue, and the light of the fire touching their light surfaces made him look very pale, with his long brown hair, all untrimmed, hanging loose about him. His indifference to fire was sufficiently remarkable to elicit a word of remonstrance from Mr. Lorry; his boot was still upon the hot embers of the flaming log, when it had broken under the weight of his foot.

“I forgot it,” he said.

Mr. Lorry’s eyes were again attracted to his face. Taking note of the wasted air which clouded the naturally handsome features, and having the expression of prisoners’ faces fresh in his mind, he was strongly reminded of that expression.

“And your duties here have drawn to an end, sir?” said Carton, turning to him.

“Yes. As I was telling you last night when Lucie came in so unexpectedly, I have at length done all that I can do here. I hoped to have left them in perfect safety, and then to have quitted Paris. I have my Leave to Pass. I was ready to go.”

They were both silent.

“Yours is a long life to look back upon, sir?” said Carton, wistfully.

“I am in my seventy-eighth year.”

“You have been useful all your life; steadily and constantly occupied; trusted, respected, and looked up to?”

“I have been a man of business, ever since I have been a man. Indeed, I may say that I was a man of business when a boy.”

“See what a place you fill at seventy-eight. How many people will miss you when you leave it empty!”

“A solitary old bachelor,” answered Mr. Lorry, shaking his head. “There is nobody to weep for me.”

“How can you say that? Wouldn’t She weep for you? Wouldn’t her child?”

“Yes, yes, thank God. I didn’t quite mean what I said.”

“It is a thing to thank God for; is it not?”

“Surely, surely.”

“If you could say, with truth, to your own solitary heart, to-night, ‘I have secured to myself the love and attachment, the gratitude or respect, of no human creature; I have won myself a tender place in no regard; I have done nothing good or serviceable to be remembered by!’ your seventy-eight years would be seventy-eight heavy curses; would they not?”

“You say truly, Mr. Carton; I think they would be.”

Sydney turned his eyes again upon the fire, and, after a silence of a few moments, said:

“I should like to ask you:—Does your childhood seem far off? Do the days when you sat at your mother’s knee, seem days of very long ago?”

Responding to his softened manner, Mr. Lorry answered:

“Twenty years back, yes; at this time of my life, no. For, as I draw closer and closer to the end, I travel in the circle, nearer and nearer to the beginning. It seems to be one of the kind smoothings and preparings of the way. My heart is touched now, by many remembrances that had long fallen asleep, of my pretty young mother (and I so old!), and by many associations of the days when what we call the World was not so real with me, and my faults were not confirmed in me.”

“I understand the feeling!” exclaimed Carton, with a bright flush. “And you are the better for it?”

“I hope so.”

Carton terminated the conversation here, by rising to help him on with his outer coat; “But you,” said Mr. Lorry, reverting to the theme, “you are young.”

“Yes,” said Carton. “I am not old, but my young way was never the way to age. Enough of me.”

“And of me, I am sure,” said Mr. Lorry. “Are you going out?”

“I’ll walk with you to her gate. You know my vagabond and restless habits. If I should prowl about the streets a long time, don’t be uneasy; I shall reappear in the morning. You go to the Court to-morrow?”

“Yes, unhappily.”

“I shall be there, but only as one of the crowd. My Spy will find a place for me. Take my arm, sir.”

Mr. Lorry did so, and they went down-stairs and out in the streets. A few minutes brought them to Mr. Lorry’s destination. Carton left him there; but lingered at a little distance, and turned back to the gate again when it was shut, and touched it. He had heard of her going to the prison every day. “She came out here,” he said, looking about him, “turned this way, must have trod on these stones often. Let me follow in her steps.”

It was ten o’clock at night when he stood before the prison of La Force, where she had stood hundreds of times. A little wood-sawyer, having closed his shop, was smoking his pipe at his shop-door.

“Good night, citizen,” said Sydney Carton, pausing in going by; for, the man eyed him inquisitively.

“Good night, citizen.”

“How goes the Republic?”

“You mean the Guillotine. Not ill. Sixty-three to-day. We shall mount to a hundred soon. Samson and his men complain sometimes, of being exhausted. Ha, ha, ha! He is so droll, that Samson. Such a Barber!”

“Do you often go to see him—”

“Shave? Always. Every day. What a barber! You have seen him at work?”

“Never.”

“Go and see him when he has a good batch. Figure this to yourself, citizen; he shaved the sixty-three to-day, in less than two pipes! Less than two pipes. Word of honour!”

As the grinning little man held out the pipe he was smoking, to explain how he timed the executioner, Carton was so sensible of a rising desire to strike the life out of him, that he turned away.

“But you are not English,” said the wood-sawyer, “though you wear English dress?”

“Yes,” said Carton, pausing again, and answering over his shoulder.

“You speak like a Frenchman.”

“I am an old student here.”

“Aha, a perfect Frenchman! Good night, Englishman.”

“Good night, citizen.”

“But go and see that droll dog,” the little man persisted, calling after him. “And take a pipe with you!”

Sydney had not gone far out of sight, when he stopped in the middle of the street under a glimmering lamp, and wrote with his pencil on a scrap of paper. Then, traversing with the decided step of one who remembered the way well, several dark and dirty streets—much dirtier than usual, for the best public thoroughfares remained uncleansed in those times of terror—he stopped at a chemist’s shop, which the owner was closing with his own hands. A small, dim, crooked shop, kept in a tortuous, up-hill thoroughfare, by a small, dim, crooked man.

Giving this citizen, too, good night, as he confronted him at his counter, he laid the scrap of paper before him. “Whew!” the chemist whistled softly, as he read it. “Hi! hi! hi!”

Sydney Carton took no heed, and the chemist said:

“For you, citizen?”

“For me.”

“You will be careful to keep them separate, citizen? You know the consequences of mixing them?”

“Perfectly.”

Certain small packets were made and given to him. He put them, one by one, in the breast of his inner coat, counted out the money for them, and deliberately left the shop. “There is nothing more to do,” said he, glancing upward at the moon, “until to-morrow. I can’t sleep.”

It was not a reckless manner, the manner in which he said these words aloud under the fast-sailing clouds, nor was it more expressive of negligence than defiance. It was the settled manner of a tired man, who had wandered and struggled and got lost, but who at length struck into his road and saw its end.

Long ago, when he had been famous among his earliest competitors as a youth of great promise, he had followed his father to the grave. His mother had died, years before. These solemn words, which had been read at his father’s grave, arose in his mind as he went down the dark streets, among the heavy shadows, with the moon and the clouds sailing on high above him. “I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die.”

In a city dominated by the axe, alone at night, with natural sorrow rising in him for the sixty-three who had been that day put to death, and for to-morrow’s victims then awaiting their doom in the prisons, and still of to-morrow’s and to-morrow’s, the chain of association that brought the words home, like a rusty old ship’s anchor from the deep, might have been easily found. He did not seek it, but repeated them and went on.

With a solemn interest in the lighted windows where the people were going to rest, forgetful through a few calm hours of the horrors surrounding them; in the towers of the churches, where no prayers were said, for the popular revulsion had even travelled that length of self-destruction from years of priestly impostors, plunderers, and profligates; in the distant burial-places, reserved, as they wrote upon the gates, for Eternal Sleep; in the abounding gaols; and in the streets along which the sixties rolled to a death which had become so common and material, that no sorrowful story of a haunting Spirit ever arose among the people out of all the working of the Guillotine; with a solemn interest in the whole life and death of the city settling down to its short nightly pause in fury; Sydney Carton crossed the Seine again for the lighter streets.

Few coaches were abroad, for riders in coaches were liable to be suspected, and gentility hid its head in red nightcaps, and put on heavy shoes, and trudged. But, the theatres were all well filled, and the people poured cheerfully out as he passed, and went chatting home. At one of the theatre doors, there was a little girl with a mother, looking for a way across the street through the mud. He carried the child over, and before the timid arm was loosed from his neck asked her for a kiss.

“I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die.”

Now, that the streets were quiet, and the night wore on, the words were in the echoes of his feet, and were in the air. Perfectly calm and steady, he sometimes repeated them to himself as he walked; but, he heard them always.

The night wore out, and, as he stood upon the bridge listening to the water as it splashed the river-walls of the Island of Paris, where the picturesque confusion of houses and cathedral shone bright in the light of the moon, the day came coldly, looking like a dead face out of the sky. Then, the night, with the moon and the stars, turned pale and died, and for a little while it seemed as if Creation were delivered over to Death’s dominion.

But, the glorious sun, rising, seemed to strike those words, that burden of the night, straight and warm to his heart in its long bright rays. And looking along them, with reverently shaded eyes, a bridge of light appeared to span the air between him and the sun, while the river sparkled under it.

The strong tide, so swift, so deep, and certain, was like a congenial friend, in the morning stillness. He walked by the stream, far from the houses, and in the light and warmth of the sun fell asleep on the bank. When he awoke and was afoot again, he lingered there yet a little longer, watching an eddy that turned and turned purposeless, until the stream absorbed it, and carried it on to the sea.—“Like me.”

A trading-boat, with a sail of the softened colour of a dead leaf, then glided into his view, floated by him, and died away. As its silent track in the water disappeared, the prayer that had broken up out of his heart for a merciful consideration of all his poor blindnesses and errors, ended in the words, “I am the resurrection and the life.”

Mr. Lorry was already out when he got back, and it was easy to surmise where the good old man was gone. Sydney Carton drank nothing but a little coffee, ate some bread, and, having washed and changed to refresh himself, went out to the place of trial.

The court was all astir and a-buzz, when the black sheep—whom many fell away from in dread—pressed him into an obscure corner among the crowd. Mr. Lorry was there, and Doctor Manette was there. She was there, sitting beside her father.

When her husband was brought in, she turned a look upon him, so sustaining, so encouraging, so full of admiring love and pitying tenderness, yet so courageous for his sake, that it called the healthy blood into his face, brightened his glance, and animated his heart. If there had been any eyes to notice the influence of her look, on Sydney Carton, it would have been seen to be the same influence exactly.

Before that unjust Tribunal, there was little or no order of procedure, ensuring to any accused person any reasonable hearing. There could have been no such Revolution, if all laws, forms, and ceremonies, had not first been so monstrously abused, that the suicidal vengeance of the Revolution was to scatter them all to the winds.

Every eye was turned to the jury. The same determined patriots and good republicans as yesterday and the day before, and to-morrow and the day after. Eager and prominent among them, one man with a craving face, and his fingers perpetually hovering about his lips, whose appearance gave great satisfaction to the spectators. A life-thirsting, cannibal-looking, bloody-minded juryman, the Jacques Three of St. Antoine. The whole jury, as a jury of dogs empannelled to try the deer.

Every eye then turned to the five judges and the public prosecutor. No favourable leaning in that quarter to-day. A fell, uncompromising, murderous business-meaning there. Every eye then sought some other eye in the crowd, and gleamed at it approvingly; and heads nodded at one another, before bending forward with a strained attention.

Charles Evrémonde, called Darnay. Released yesterday. Reaccused and retaken yesterday. Indictment delivered to him last night. Suspected and Denounced enemy of the Republic, Aristocrat, one of a family of tyrants, one of a race proscribed, for that they had used their abolished privileges to the infamous oppression of the people. Charles Evrémonde, called Darnay, in right of such proscription, absolutely Dead in Law.

To this effect, in as few or fewer words, the Public Prosecutor.

The President asked, was the Accused openly denounced or secretly?

“Openly, President.”

“By whom?”

“Three voices. Ernest Defarge, wine-vendor of St. Antoine.”

“Good.”

“Thérèse Defarge, his wife.”

“Good.”

“Alexandre Manette, physician.”

A great uproar took place in the court, and in the midst of it, Doctor Manette was seen, pale and trembling, standing where he had been seated.

“President, I indignantly protest to you that this is a forgery and a fraud. You know the accused to be the husband of my daughter. My daughter, and those dear to her, are far dearer to me than my life. Who and where is the false conspirator who says that I denounce the husband of my child!”

“Citizen Manette, be tranquil. To fail in submission to the authority of the Tribunal would be to put yourself out of Law. As to what is dearer to you than life, nothing can be so dear to a good citizen as the Republic.”

Loud acclamations hailed this rebuke. The President rang his bell, and with warmth resumed.

“If the Republic should demand of you the sacrifice of your child herself, you would have no duty but to sacrifice her. Listen to what is to follow. In the meanwhile, be silent!”

Frantic acclamations were again raised. Doctor Manette sat down, with his eyes looking around, and his lips trembling; his daughter drew closer to him. The craving man on the jury rubbed his hands together, and restored the usual hand to his mouth.

Defarge was produced, when the court was quiet enough to admit of his being heard, and rapidly expounded the story of the imprisonment, and of his having been a mere boy in the Doctor’s service, and of the release, and of the state of the prisoner when released and delivered to him. This short examination followed, for the court was quick with its work.

“You did good service at the taking of the Bastille, citizen?”

“I believe so.”

Here, an excited woman screeched from the crowd: “You were one of the best patriots there. Why not say so? You were a cannonier that day there, and you were among the first to enter the accursed fortress when it fell. Patriots, I speak the truth!”

It was The Vengeance who, amidst the warm commendations of the audience, thus assisted the proceedings. The President rang his bell; but, The Vengeance, warming with encouragement, shrieked, “I defy that bell!” wherein she was likewise much commended.

“Inform the Tribunal of what you did that day within the Bastille, citizen.”

“I knew,” said Defarge, looking down at his wife, who stood at the bottom of the steps on which he was raised, looking steadily up at him; “I knew that this prisoner, of whom I speak, had been confined in a cell known as One Hundred and Five, North Tower. I knew it from himself. He knew himself by no other name than One Hundred and Five, North Tower, when he made shoes under my care. As I serve my gun that day, I resolve, when the place shall fall, to examine that cell. It falls. I mount to the cell, with a fellow-citizen who is one of the Jury, directed by a gaoler. I examine it, very closely. In a hole in the chimney, where a stone has been worked out and replaced, I find a written paper. This is that written paper. I have made it my business to examine some specimens of the writing of Doctor Manette. This is the writing of Doctor Manette. I confide this paper, in the writing of Doctor Manette, to the hands of the President.”

“Let it be read.”

In a dead silence and stillness—the prisoner under trial looking lovingly at his wife, his wife only looking from him to look with solicitude at her father, Doctor Manette keeping his eyes fixed on the reader, Madame Defarge never taking hers from the prisoner, Defarge never taking his from his feasting wife, and all the other eyes there intent upon the Doctor, who saw none of them—the paper was read, as follows.

[canirove]

Red & Blue | Chapter 2

Author’s note: First of all: thank you. Thank for reading that first chapter and for all the reblogs, likes and comments. Like, wow. I wasn't expecting it. At all. Especially because when I first shared this story with a friend to have a second opinion, I thought it was a weak first chapter 😅 So, again, thank you very much, and like I said yesterday on the new chapter of Declan's story, welcome to all the new people who started following me! 💜

There are things on this chapter similar to the ones we've currently seeing with both the men and women's teams at St. George's Park, but it is just a coincidence, I wrote this weeks ago. Did I manifest it? Maybe 👀😂 Anyway, thanks for reading, and hope you like it! 💜

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“Hello there” Emily says, opening the door of my car.

“Hello” I reply, getting out and giving her a hug.

“It’s so nice to have you back. We missed you last time.”

“I missed you too. And hello everyone” I say to Eddie, the photographer, and the camera men who are filming the arrivals.

“Oh, someone else is here” Emily says, moving towards the car that just arrived behind mine. “One sec.”

“No problem” I say, focusing on getting all my things from the car and not forgetting anything.

“Mason!” I hear Emily say behind me.

“Fuck” I whisper, the bag with my boots falling from my hands as the driver gives it to me.

“It’s alright, miss” he says, helping me pick them up.

“Do you need any help?” Emily asks behind us.

“We are fine. Just clumsy” I reply with a nervous laugh. “Thank you very much, sir” I say to the driver, moving towards the door. But before I can ignore Mason, he is standing next to me.

“Hi” he smiles. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

“Yeah” I mutter, trying to smile and not look like an idiot.

“Ok, passports” Emily says when we are inside the building. “And you don’t know how things work now, do you?” she asks me.

“Leah has told me a bit about it.”

“Oh, good. You’ll see that nothing much has changed. And...” she says, looking out the door “someone else just arrived, I better go. Mason, why don’t you show her around?”

“Sure. I’ll be her tour guide” he says to Emily before she leaves.

“You don’t have to do it. You probably want to meet the others.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of time to see them during these days” he smiles again. Damn it, he’s so handsome when he smiles. “Shall we?” he asks, gesturing towards the corridor in front of us.

“Wait, before you leave” Eddie says behind us. “Can I get a photo of you two together? You are two fan favorites.”

“For the fans then” Mason laughs while grabbing me by the waist, his touch making me feel things despite the layers of clothing.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“Did you have the basketball court last time you were here?” Mason asks when we walk pass it.

“No, we didn’t.”

“Do you play?”

“I actually do, yes.”

“Then we must have a little game when we all are free. Let’s see if your hands are as talented as your feet” he says with a smirk.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“I can’t believe Eddie made you pose together” Leah says, laying on my bed while checking all the photos from today, picking one to post on her Instagram. “I’m sure he also ships you.”

“Definitely” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I wonder what his fans will say when they see it. Will they go wild? Will they ship you? Will they hate you?”

“I guess we’ll find out soon. He just posted it” I say, showing Leah my phone.

“Let the games begin!” she laughs.

“Speaking of games” I say, putting my phone down and not wanting to look at it until tomorrow. “He asked me to play basketball with him later when we are free. Will you join us? I’m sure Declan will be there too.”

“Bffs vs. bffs? I’m in” she says with a mischievous smile.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“Where did you learn to play like that?” Declan asks, lying on the floor.

“My mum used to play when she was younger and she taught me” I say, shooting another basket.

“And it goes in clean. Again. I can’t believe it” Mason laughs next to me.

“Annoying, isn’t it?” Leah says, sitting next to Declan.

“Very” he replies, still lying on the floor. “Let’s try again tomorrow. I’m not leaving St. George’s without winning against you at least once.”

“Good luck with that” I say, shooting again, the ball easily going in.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“Wow, someone had a bad day yesterday” I say the next day, finally checking my notifications.

“Mason fan?”

“That’s what she says. Stay away from him, you filthy gunner bitch. Go suck Arteta’s ****. And yes, whoever this was, censored that last word.”

“No way” Leah laughs. “But why him? He isn’t your coach or anything.”

“Who knows. Maybe he is the only one from Arsenal this person knew” I shrug. “But whoever this is, just got blocked.”

“Good. Is anyone shipping you with Mason?”

“You are so funny” I say, throwing a pillow to her face as someone knocks on the door.

“I’ll answer” Leah says, throwing the pillow back at me.

“Hello girls” says Hannah, our team’s social media manager. “I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans and you won’t be having a free morning. There is some content that we didn’t have time to finish yesterday and that must be shot today. I’ll meet you downstairs in 5 minutes.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“Leah, you’ll be doing a TikTok challenge with some others over there” Hannah says, pointing to a table set at the other side of the pitch. “And you will be filming a game for YouTube with Mason.”

“With Mason?” Leah and I say at the same time, she definitely more excited than me.

“Is there any problem with it?” Hannah asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Not at all” Leah says with a big smile.

“What’s the game about?” I ask Hannah as I follow her to where Mason is already waiting.

“Remember the one Chilly and Declan did, the one about the food?”

“How could I. That winner was an insult to everyone who loves food” I laugh. And it isn’t as if I’ve watched it way too many times because Ben looked stupidly handsome. Declan too, not gonna lie.

“This one is about Marvel characters, trying to pick the best super hero” Hannah explains.

“That sounds fun.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“I can’t believe Wanda didn’t make it to the final” I say to Mason once we’ve finished the game. “She definitely was the most powerful one! And you chose Thor!”

“Because he is a God!”

“Wanda was able to destroy one of the infinity stones!”

“And then she went nuts. I wouldn’t put my life in her hands.”

“Ok, that’s rude. She was grieving”.

“Sorry” he shrugs. “But at least we agree on the winner.”

“Kind of” I say. “I still think it’s a tie between Spiderman and Captain America.”

“But if it was the end of the world, what could Captain America do for you? Spiderman could fly you away, take you somewhere safe. And he is as strong as Steve.”

“I know, I know. But only if there are trees or buildings around. In the desert they both would be equal.”

“Fine” Mason says, rolling his eyes. “You are a stubborn one, aren’t you?”

“She’s very stubborn” Aaron says, showing up out of nowhere.

“Where did you come from?” I say. “You scared me!”

“I was filming over there. If you didn’t see me, it was because you were too busy with Mason” he smiles. I give him my most murderous look in return, but his smile just goes wider.

“Anyway, I better go find Leah” I say, looking for an excuse to escape from them.

“Are we still playing basketball later today?” Mason asks as I leave.

“Yeah, sure” I say.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

When Leah and I go downstairs, Mason and Declan are already waiting. Them, and Aaron and Ben.

“What are you two doing here?” I ask them.

“We wanted to be part of the fun” Aaron says.

“Meaning that he wanted to see Mase and I being destroyed by you” Declan says.

“That too” Aaron replies with one of his smiles.

“So you are not playing?” Leah asks. “Cowards.”

“We play together all the time. Let them be the ones to suffer” Ben says, not lifting his eyes from his phone.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

“C’mon Mase, you can do it!” Reece says, cheering for his teammate. A little crowd has formed around us, most of them cheering for Leah and I and making fun of Mason and Declan. Eddie is taking photos while someone else is filming, already planning to upload this to YouTube.

“That was so bad, Declan!” Coady yells, he and Mings laughing like crazy.

“If this one goes in, we win” I say, looking at Mason.

“First you’ll have to get pass me” he smirks, already in position to defend.

“There she goes!” Aaron yells as I attack.

“And it goes in!” Leah screams behind me. Everyone around us starts cheering, while Declan dramatically falls to the floor, Mason standing with his arms on his hips.

“Sorry” I say, giving him my best smile. He just shakes his head while licking his lips, and I find myself staring until someone comes to congratulate me and bring me back to reality.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

The rest of the days with the national team go by quickly. It’s mostly training, playing the friendly games and enjoying our free time. Turns out that mixing both teams has been a great idea.

“My tagged photos on Instagram are all Mason” I say to Leah on the car back home.

“He isn’t that bad, is he?”

“He isn’t, he is really nice. You and Aaron were right about that. But look, it’s like I am on his account, not mine” I say, showing her my phone.

“That happens when you spend all your free time with him and Eddie is around” she says with a big smile.

“We are just friends” I say, rolling my eyes.

“For now.”

[undergrounddawniii]

SO THERE’S THIS FANFIC I’VE BEEN EDITING....

For the first time ever on a website that’s actually meant for fanfiction, now with Chapter 1 ten times less clunky and stilted than before, IT’S...

GRAVITY (11990 words) by Phantastus Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Silent Hill (Video Game Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Relationships: James Sunderland & Laura, Mary Shepherd-Sunderland/James Sunderland, Laura & Mary Shepherd-Sunderland, James Sunderland & Angela Orosco, Laura & Angela Orosco Characters: James Sunderland, Laura (Silent Hill), Mary Shepherd-Sunderland, Angela Orosco, Eddie Dombrowski, Maria, Pyramid Head Additional Tags: 

SIMULTANEOUS WARNING/REASSURANCE: the archive warnings are for subject matters already present in canon, more specific/detailed warnings will be at the beginning of each chapter, better safe than sorry!, Canon Continuation, Post-Game(s), Leave Ending (Silent Hill 2), Angela Survives, Found Family, Mental Illness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Grief, Survivor's Guilt, Terminal Illness, Homelessness, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unreality/Hallucinations/Delusions, Depression, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Ideation, Platonic Relationships, Guardian-Child Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Murder, flagrantly-invented connections to other (unrelated) games in the series, the occasional attention-hogging minor original character, james just. trying so hard., trying his very best, Everyone Needs Therapy (tm), i've been writing this since 2009, i am aging rapidly into a skeleton as we speak, pleas enjoy

Summary: Freshly relieved of the delusions that led him on his journey through the Otherworld, James emerges from its depths and back into a reality he barely feels he belongs in-- battered, shattered, but alive. In fulfilling his final promise to Mary, he discovers both a new purpose and that he might not be as free of Silent Hill's grasp as he thought.

🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 🟥 

TL;DR: hey there folks, with @partyinthemysterymachine’s encouragement, I am starting to post GRAVITY to Ao3 for the first time, and giving the story a fresh edit in the process. For anyone who’s already read it, there are no significant changes to the story, just a lot of fat-trimming and phrasing adjustments to make it flow better. BUT.... if anyone was planning on starting to give it a read (or reread!)... this is a good time/place to start!  👀

[deceptive-daydreams]

Holy s**t... a bet? to ask her out? by who?! Jason maybe. but then she was nice to Jason when he came in as a customer. maybe just a random teammate. this was such a cliffhanger and I love it 😍 one of those 'yea I'll agree to it because I actually do really like her and it'll all end just peachy' type deals, except he's ratted out? Wait... did Steve know about the bet? Is that why he was discouraging her so much?! Or because of his own crush on Eddie?! I like Steve less and less in this as the chapters go on. Obviously all of these questions are super rhetorical, there'd be so many spoilers.

I love love the detail that went into their conversation at work, there was hardly any dialogue it seemed, but there was just so much going on. His internal battle to not be that guy anymore, her kinda desperate for him to be that guy because it's all she's known for years, him being so unpredictable and throwing her for a loop. The crying. She didn't want it but it was so important because this was what he wasn't seeing before, how it really affected her. Plus she's exhausted. My heart's just aching for her. But then she's clinging to the sweetness from years ago. Getting giddy again. Urgh, stop it, I can't.

Wayne! Absolute salt of the earth, 'I've come for (probably overpriced) coffee solely to check you're behaving with the girl you're in knots over' Wayne. What a guy. 10/10 for him not saying 'I've heard so much about you' or similar. Because he actually has heard a fair bit by the sound of it. She likes him already and I bet Eddie secretly loves this.

The previous night flashback was so interesting because not only do we see how solid Eddie and Wayne are still, but also that Steve is the one who's initiating the hookups it seems. When he says 'think that's something you need to take up with Steve' it seems like Eddie's genuinely just as flabbergasted as she is. He's like 'why me, Steve?' I'm more sure of Eddie and Steve not having big feelings towards eachother now though. Not once in Eddie's pov in this does he worry about Steve, or their arrangement. Seems like he kinda hates it actually. Eddie's whole focus is her and it's giving me such butterflies 🦋 🦋 Steve just needs to get in the bin at this point, he's been a complete snake. Robin as well for good measure.

I'm gonna stop now but just know I could have whittered on about so much more, loved this chapter as always. Can't wait to see what's next 🖤🖤

Omg omg omg I’m so giddy at your responses

I’m gonna be so fr Steve was not originally intended to be such a villain it just kinda happened?? We’ll see if he has any redemption 👀

I’m so glad their conversation came across that way cause I was really struggling to write it like typing and deleting thinking no that’s not right like this fic is so important to me and I become such a perfectionist LIKE GIRL ITS FOR FUN JUST WRITE

Wayne is such a saint and if he knew what Eddie did he’d rip him a new one (verbally) I love him 🥹

haha omg not be being like oof I really dug Steve into a hole didn’t I woops 🤷‍♀️ but again, this fic is really set on showcasing that humans are incredibly flawed and they fuck up. You could even say I dug Eddie into a hole from the very beginning as well

UGH OMG if you have anymore thoughts I’m all ears I FREAKING LOVE talking about this little world I created and all of their dynamics so feel free to dm me anytime 💜💜💜💜💜🥹

[canonicallyobserving911]

“We need to talk.”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

New Buddie Fanfic in the "What do you want?" A Series of Fics and Ficlets

The 6th fic in the "What do you want?" Series in now available on AO3. "We need to talk." - After Eddie and Buck decide to take a weekend road trip to El Paso, TX to visit Chris, during the 12-hour drive, they talk about a lot of things they’ve left unsaid.

"We need to talk."

11.4K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

___________

Here's a snippet of a conversation Buck and Eddie are having while they're at the firehouse.

___________

Petty Eddie Diaz returns and he asks, “Are you thinking about transferring to the 325?”

As they maintain eye contact, it’s like time stands still and the silence is deafening.

Several seconds pass, then Buck finally replies, “Eddie, I—I...” But he trails off because he’s trying to determine the right words he wants to use to explain.

Eddie doesn’t rush him because he knows it’s how Buck processes things. Also, he can tell by the look on his face he’s considering it, so he patiently waits for him to continue and he braces himself for the verbal body blow that’s about to be thrown his way.

After a few moments, instead of answering his question, Buck says, “We need to talk.”

What will Eddie say in response to Buck's statement? 👀

___________

"What do you want?" - A Series of Ficlets

Currently 6 works completed; 41.4K Words: Rated; Teen and Up Audiences:  This is a series of “Fics and Ficlets” that I’ll be writing over the course of the next few weeks and my goal is to keep them under a certain number of words. I’m challenging myself to do it this way for multiple reasons but mainly because I want to see if I can write a full Buddie story by including smaller fics in a series in comparison to the multi-chapter fic I’m still in the process of writing titled, “I’m still in love with you but… I needed to learn how to love myself too!” I only have 9 chapters left before I finish it but once I’m done, I’d like to continue writing Buddie fanfics. However, this time I’ll start with my dislike for the way season 7 ended instead of the way season 6 did. Finally, I have a lot of WIPs that I want to finish and I figured I can turn them all into one shot fics or ficlets to build the full story for Buck and Eddie.

Since these ficlets will be posted in order, it’s imperative to read them one after the other. Each part ends at a specific point with a cliffhanger and the next part will begin with the ending of the previous part. Therefore, parts 1 - 5 should be read prior to reading part 6 and the series will continue in that manner until it’s complete.

"You don't know math!" - 3.3K Words; Rated Teen and Up Audiences: Buck is forced to choose while Eddie might be presented with another option.

"Math is a universal language." - 5K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Eddie reconnects with an old acquaintance and they spend a lot of time together. However, now that Buck’s single, he finally tries to understand math is a universal language but when he sees Eddie talking to another guy, he wonders if it took him too long to figure it out.

“You know, it’s like that thing when you meet somebody and you just… click.” - 5.1K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: When Buck comes face to face with Eddie’s new friend; he hates it but since he’s only told Maddie about his breakup with Tommy, Eddie’s still under the impression he’s taken. Therefore, Eddie makes plans to spend even more time with his new acquaintance.

"I can't stop thinking about him." - 8.1K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Buck and Eddie are trying to move on but they can’t stop thinking about each other.

“How I hide my true feelings from others.” - 9.6K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: Buck and Eddie return to therapy but they’re both not telling each other about recent events that happened. Will they finally have an open and honest conversation before it’s too late?

"We need to talk." - 11.4K Words; Rated: Teen and Up Audiences: After Eddie and Buck decide to take a weekend road trip to El Paso, TX to visit Chris, during the 12-hour drive, they talk about a lot of things they’ve left unsaid.

Now Available on AO3

[slutabed]

Diners drive ins and dives?!?! Tell me more!

ahhhh i love this doc bc i have like 2 simultaneous fics going on in there at once and i just need to figure out which path i wanna go for that vibe lol

one of them is a post-derry 2.0 road trip in which richie is taking eddie home to LA in his obnoxious red sports car and is narrating the whole start of the road trip like it's the beginning of a DDD episode and eddie is like "i have no idea what you're talking about" and richie realizes that not only has eddie never eaten in a diner, a drive-in, or a dive since the losers split up as teenagers, but he has never even watched the his guy fieri show diners drive-ins and dives which is INEXCUSABLE. so he takes it upon himself to introduce eddie to like, the best/worst food in each state they pass through and kind of help eddie piece together his past and his new future on a slow burn food-fueled road trip which i will probably never fully flesh out bc i have no patience for slow burn or multi chapter fics lol.

the other angle is that they're both living in LA and richie loves bringing eddie to new trendy food places or just any good cool cultural fusion places he can find just bc he wants to introduce eddie to everything he's kinda been deprived of in the years they've been apart, but kind of hides it in like "i'm annoying i wanna try new food i'm gonna drag you along with me" but it ends up being like, richie uses these little outings as a way to break big news to eddie and the focus on in the fic is that richie's management team wants him to kind of have a PR relationship now that he's out and he's kind of giving eddie this look across the table being like "well i don't have any reason to say no, do i??????" 👀 waiting for eddie's response.

[renegadesfics]

For the WIP game... Tis The Damn Season 👀😁

TTDS part nine is really meant to, like, begin the arc of Eddie and Reader working through shit. Not just late night confessions in the height of their shit, but real and honest readjusting to what this relationship looks like now. They've both experienced shit in the last few months that the other wasn't there for, and while neither of them is strictly a Brand New Person or anything, there's some differences. It's also the chapter where Eddie comes down for breakfast without Reader's parents having been informed ahead of time and their first trip out in the open As a Couple again.

Also Reader's getting the car back soon. Or at least that's the plan.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 29 will be posted soon.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Currently 28 chapters completed: 1.77M Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 29 because at the end of Chapter 28, it was early in the morning and Buck and Eddie were lying in bed having a serious conversation about whether Eddie's going to delay the pursuit of his second paramedic certification, the ACP-C. Buck doesn't want him to give up his dream, especially now since they know what caused Buck's bradycardia and he's on medication. He's doing better and even though he's still grieving, he believes once he passes the last two stages of grief, Frank may clear him to return to work but he's still not sure if he wants to go back to being a firefighter. Also, Eddie's FMLA ends on January 31, 2024 but the question is will he extend it or return to the 118?

Additionally, Chris is still dealing with one of his classmates lack of participation in their video game project and it's stressing him out. Furthermore, during their last group therapy session, Buck had a conversation with Captain Jeshan Mehta and he asked him if they could meet so he can get an objective viewpoint from someone about whether he could be a captain someday with the LAFD. He decided not to ask Bobby since he doesn't believe he'll give him an objective viewpoint because in September 2022, he told him he needed more life experience.

__________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 29 of one of Buck's and Eddie's early morning conversations about "New Beginnings".

___________

They’re in bed and since they’ve been talking for the last hour about a lot of different things, they’ve changed positions several times. Instead of facing each other, Buck’s lying on his back and Eddie’s covering the left side of Buck’s body with his own and his head is lying on top of his chest.  He’s listening to his heartbeat and it’s still one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard.

While Buck’s lightly tracing his fingertips up and down Eddie’s back, he remembers the conversation they had in Philadelphia and since they haven’t discussed it since then, he decides now is a good time to bring it up again.

“Babe?”

Eddie hums, “Hmm?”

“Uh… do you think we should talk about the house in San Gimignano?”

He nods because it’s a subject they need to discuss especially since Angelo said he would contact them in early February.  “Yes, I believe we should.”

“How do you feel about us buying it?  I—I mean I’m asking because when we discussed it while we were in Philly, you suggested we withdraw our bid but we haven’t revisited that conversation.  Do you um… still feel the same way?”

He lifts his head and replies, “No, I don’t want to withdraw our bid anymore because you were right, the white noise is loud as hell right now and we need to get out of L.A. for an entire month.  We’re all looking forward to it including the boys… all three of them.  It’s just, with all the logistics, I’m wondering how we’ll navigate the entire process from here and when I made the list, I thought about us contacting Tim and Sandra…”  He trails off when Buck’s eyebrows go up.

“You remember them don’t you?”

Does Buck remember Tim and Sandra? 👀

If so, does he remember what they do for a living?

Why is Eddie suggesting they call them for help with "New Beginnings"?

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chapter 27 - After Buck resumes therapy, he’ll continue to face the fact that he “DIED” in March 2023 and during those sessions, he’ll learn about the 7 stages of grief. As he continues his healing journey, Eddie will be right by his side just like he promised and the Diaz family will start to deal with their three minutes and seventeen seconds loss as a family.

Chapter 28 - Two years ago, Eddie was asked, “What are you afraid of?”; twice, once by Frank and once by Buck but he only answered one of them without deflecting. Since that time, he’s been to therapy and him and Buck got married but the question resurfaces when Frank asks Buck the same question and Buck asks it of Eddie for the second time. However, when Buck asks, his reasoning will be about something else entirely.

Chapter 29 - Will be posted soon.

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